#Vidcon 2019

[reunitedinterlude]

the 2019-2020 (dan and) phil secret project

april 2019 | july 2019 | august 2019 | january 2020 (1, 2) | february 2020 (1, 2) | april 2021

[phannotfound]

He’s so powerful 😭😭😭😭

[wrenthetitmouse]

Vidcon Australia 2019 is the only convention I've ever been to and the genesis of a high I haven't felt since

[amyoffline]

It's done! The outline for—

—is below the cut. The goal of this project is to explore the following phenomena with as much context and nuance as I can manage, tracing our history over the past 15 years:

What about us, and what about Dan and Phil, drew in and continues to draw in a very specific audience. If they are a ranch metaphor, we are a pizza metaphor 🥗🍕🫶🏻

Why we were Like That™, by which I mean so parasocially invested in them that we became, at times, the most annoying people on the internet. Much of that reputation is undeserved, and the videos on the phandom to date have been strongly negative. So, uh, I guess I'm going to put my face on camera and (mostly) defend us.

Reblog, share in your Discord servers, reply, or send me messages/anon asks with feedback or resources if you have any! Especially if your experience being in this fandom community has been dramatically different from mine. There are TIT spoilers near the end of the outline, but I'm not tagging because certain individuals seem to be lurking over there. Thank you!

Chapters:

Full outline:

introduction

cold open

felt personally attacked by jonathan haidt's last press tour

showed up to the phrenaissance 11 months late

had an unexpectedly strong response to their new content, needed to find out why

what the hell are we doing here?

- phenomenology (academics are professionally insufferable) - research question 1: what drew the audience in? - research question 2: why were we Like That™?

what we're NOT doing here

- a strict content analysis or "wow we sucked" video - providing sources for things best left uncirculated, thank you

reflexivity (personal biases)

- american zillennial in public health - in the youtube audience by spring 2010 - lurking in the phandom on tumblr 2013-2015, back* since 2019 - fan behavior i did and did not engage in

(----): truly necessary background information, i swear

(pop) cultural trends, tech, and their intersection

- nerd/geek identity and the first online weirdos - broadcast tv & the music industry vs the internet - defining "emo" - blogging & vlogging - early internet comedy

broader social/economic trends

- so the U.S. economy collapsed in 2007 - a decade that sucked except for rom-coms and square enix games - the flip/slide phone + digital camera + mp3 player loadout

(05-8): early youtube and early phil

youtube: a great video uploader without a clear purpose

the content on the website

- crossposts, corporations, and creative/social outlets - omg guys it's amazing phil - contemporary youtube-to-legacy success: justin bieber

the audience of "early adopters"

contemporary social media sites and forums

(2009): origin story

a wild dan appears… in the comments

the global constant that is teenagers being messy online

daring my old school district to sue me

- "one town's war on gay teens" (literal rolling stone headline!) - epidemiology 101: rates of… ugh… "unaliving" oneself - ways kids cope when it seems no adults will help them

the earliest days of dan & phil

- hello internet + pinof - a chronically overexamined timeline - file deleted ---* so how big WAS the audience at the time? ---* acceptable funny/edgy language was just different

contemporary youtube-to-legacy success: lucas cruikshank

omg it's meeeeeee

- how amy & friends were using youtube - ways i was just destined to end up here - being in social environments with peers 3-6 years older

(2010): is it "twenty-ten" or "two thousand ten?"

youtube is a platform about to explode in popularity

- the algorithm before it was The Algorithm™, lost site features - let's take a trip through the wayback machine :3c - actual dan & phil content in 2010 - the green brothers found vidcon - contemporary youtube-to-legacy success: darren criss

social media: also about to explode in popularity

- facebook was cool at the time, believe it or not - law of equivalent exchange: 2010 amy cringe compilation - the birth of instagram and pinterest - youtube slash livejournal (the first phanfics… sort of) - shockfic and its place in the overton window

the beginning of "the great rewiring" as haidt calls it

- ways social media is about to dramatically change - third spaces become online spaces - confounding variable: changing expectations of teens

(2011): the end of an era, the start of an age

a very long tangent on fandom and pop culture

cultural exchange

counterculture and teenagers as concepts

the first british invasion: the 1960s

- beatlemania and its descendents - moral panic about the virtue of tween/teen girls - tv/film/fashion trends being imported from the uk - in parallel, star trek births the modern fandom

the second british invasion: the 1980s

- synth/new pop that came out of the punk movement (hi, emo?) - confined mainly to music and fashion - cool britannia

it's harry freakin' potter

- absolute titan of pop culture influence - the rise of online fandom: examining the horrors ---* what is "wank" ---* flaming, sockpuppeting, and general cyberbullying ---* censorship: ffnet purges, boldthrough, & strikethrough ---* other fandom shenanigans of the time (yaoi paddles, anyone?)

harry potter's over. now what?

- for those who needed coming-of-age hero's journeys ---* twilight and YA dystopia waiting in the wings ---* some pretty iconic tv shows start or hit their stride ---* the mcu's phase one ---* takeaway: the rise of "geek culture" generally - for those who just wanted to go to hogwarts ---* doctor who & the wider world of bbc programming ---* british vloggers, you say? where? on youtube? brb--

end tangent, back to your regularly scheduled programming

dan & phil in the first half of 2011

- a continuation of 2010… for now - the videos - british pancakes as a case study of bad fan behavior

streaming and social media

- the birth of snapchat, twitch, and younow - netflix starts developing original programming - multi-channel networks (mcns) - digitour

dan & phil in the second half of 2011

- and they were roommates (omg they were roommates) - fantastic foursome - youtube glitches out - the super amazing project - the first proper baking video + wait, is that the bbc?

~ baking interlude 1: christmas cookies ~

the family sugar cookie (sorry, delia)

amy's 2011

(2012): why is anyone nostalgic for this

the transition from desktop to mobile

- massive growth in smartphone ownership 2011-2015 - things one might do on mobile one might not do on desktop - non-online ways smartphones changed being a youth™

what is tumblr and why is my child using it

- how the site is meant to work - fandom, memes, aesthetics, and SOME public figures - want to be anxious and depressed in peace? come to tumblr - this site seems a little……… gay ---* tumblr's very queer, very neurodiverse userbase ---* legacy media representation in 2012: bad! ---* actual academic research on tumblr users (yes, it exists) - the tumblr experience for non-native english speakers

amy becomes a vibrating mass of panic and paranoia

- in context of the above - additional rant about the american public school system

the growing dan & phil audience

- investigating the origin of the term "phannie" - more collaborations = more viewers - more video uploads = more /invested/ viewers - younow and interacting with fans - watch time replaces clicks in the algorithm

online etiquette, or lack thereof

- mid-transition from the 2000s to the 2010s - "professional internet celebrity" is still basically brand-new - lack of boundaries - various ways to be an asshole online - unsupervised kids simply do not engage in best practices

the end of 2012

- dan and phil move to london - wikipedia vandalism - tiptoeing around a top contender for the phandom's greatest sin - super amazing project DONE, now it's BBC RADIO TIME

(2013): arguably the most important year

- wait. what's that six-second video platform over there--

[amy's curated vine compilation]

- a new wave of internet comedians (read: future youtubers) - the zillennial lexicon - other platforms start emphasizing short-form video content - magcon

emo is BACK - well, sort of

- fob hiatus ends, mcr breaks up. my god. you had to be there - more open ties to nerd/geek culture than in the 2000s - these things once again intersect at dan and phil

dan and phil in the first half of 2013

- siri, what's a "sex symbol?" why are you booing me i'm right-- - d&p are everywhere - radio shows, interviewing, hosting - youtube uploads on their individual channels

rapidly changing cultural attitudes towards queerness

- gay marriage will be legal in places other than canada soon - a lot of assimilationist rhetoric though tbh - parallels to the pop feminism of the decade

hey kids, let's talk about compulsory heterosexuality!!

- what is it and why do people do it - academic, tumblr-level, and anecdotal research - the dannies, the phillies, and the phannies

amy

- the closet™ - mental health stigma - 2013 dnp posts from my main blog

dan and phil in the second half of 2013

- subscriber milestones, vidcon - joint content before the gaming channel - phandom starts having a major presence outside tumblr

(2014): achievement unlocked!

it's time to talk about rpf

- definitions (a chance to be annoyingly pedantic) - academic perspectives and fan discourse on the ethics - when the subjects clearly aren't fine with it - so… we can acknowledge "shipping phan" was different, right? ---* sometimes the subjects are fine* with it, actually ---* how dan and phil started to handle the shipping ---* obvious differences between phan and other rpf ships ---* sharing my favorite passages as a first-time phanfic reader

dan and phil in 2014

- wikipedia vandalism 2: electric boogaloo - bbc request show → internet takeover - the 7 second challenge - youtube content, subscriber milestones, rewind - cons and award shows

tumblr reaches the peak of its influence

- yahoo's attempts to monetize the userbase - buzzfeed and aggregators steal our jokes and bait our clicks - legacy media dangles carrots and uses us for free marketing - the legend of korra breaks TV precedent, almost out of nowhere - the tumblr user experience ---* on mobile, without xkit ---* on desktop, with xkit ---* 2014 dnp posts from my main blog

gamergate and its long shadow

- trolling, renewed and revamped - algorithms push increasingly extreme content - the broad conservative backlash conglomerate - increased normalization of conspiracism in general

my greatest sin [not clickbait] [very funny]

- so, circling back to comphet… - the actual story

anyway, let's talk about danandphilgames

- a star is born: dil howlter - different types of gaming content on youtube at the time - why did 17yo amy not subscribe? well…

~ baking interlude 2: chocolate cupcakes ~

make your own frosting. it freezes well

roasting myself further

(2015): it's not queerbaiting when it's real people

facebook "pivots to video"

- mark zuckerberg lied. water is wet - causes other platforms to REALLY double down on video - the birth of musical.ly - corporate-branded creators (read: future youtubers)

queerbaiting enters mainstream public consciousness

- academic origins - early fannish and acafan writing - johnlock, destiel, and sterek - statistics 101: type i error, type ii error, and queerbait

dan, phil, and the phandom

- bbc, cons, & the brits - danandphilcrafts - phan conspiracies ---* japhan ---* body language experts ---* timeline truthers ---* floor plan investigators ---* no but seriously imagine it - regular youtube uploads ---* solo content ---* joint content ---* subscriber milestones, rewind - tatinof uk and tabinof ---* on "selling out" ---* revisiting the statistics 101 lesson: now with real people! ---* never meet your heroes (unless they're dan and phil)

amy's (temporary) exit from the phandom

- it's legal adulthood with a steel chair!! - growing discomfort with some fans' behavior - 2015 dnp posts from my main blog - the closer: final fantasy vii

(2016): season finale

vine's imminent demise

- content platforms behaving badly - content creators behaving badly

youtube after "the great rewiring" (as haidt calls it)

- version 1.0 of the modern youtube algorithm ---* deep neural networks for dummies ---* what's holding creators accountable, or not - advertising and sponsorships ---* basically every child and youth™ is watching now ---* the battle for our attention ---* regulators start to crack down on undisclosed ads - the rise of drama/tea content (and later, channels) ---* youtubers are now seen as regular celebrities ---* dan and phil as the butt of other youtubers' jokes ---* baiting the phandom for engagement

tatinof us and aus

- a proven new model for live show tours - show & documentary released to youtube red (now premium) - [sigh] the tour bus

sea change in online fandom

- the newer, sometimes queerer media in korra's wake ---* better and more representation in live-action tv shows ---* voltron (i'm sorry!!!) ---* the mystic messenger craze ---* alice oseman & heartstopper - the new dynamics of #discourse ---* proship is to anti as phannie is to phanti ---* the bad behaviors of the 00s get a new coat of paint ---* new, though: fans harassing creators ---* a personal note on ace discourse

dan and phil presence off-tour

- the internet takeover ends - regular content, subscriber milestones

so. uh. current events.

- brexit - sorry the united states is a font of chaos - ripple effects

closing out the year

- amy finally gets an anxiety diagnosis and treatment! hurray! - dapgo, rewind - bbc radio awards & the boncas - gamingmas

(2017): time for a rebrand

tangent - sit down!!! buckle up!!! today's lecture is on PSIs & PSRs!!!

"parasocial" as defined by the current zeitgeist

- summing up youtubers' and laypeople's opinions (not dan's) - an unfairly negative stance overall, imo

older academic literature

- the 1956 paper (yes, 1956) - with traditional celebrities - with fictional characters

current academic literature

- with youtubers and other content creators - positive effects on the audience - negative effects on the audience - broader societal implications

fandom spaces as a parasocial experience

- parasocial and truly social interactions with each other - phandom as a supportive, welcoming space for oddballs - what research i can find about neurospicy folks, + anecdotes - me and everyone else on planet earth move to discord

inherent transactionality

- the nature of celebrity - positive effects on creators - negative effects on creators

reexamining early phandom through a parasocial lens

- the good, the bad, and the ugly - the role audience demographics played in all of this - entering, exiting, and remaining in the phandom

end tangent, back to your regularly scheduled programming

vine is well and truly dead

- some had prepared to become primarily youtubers (smart) - some move to musical.ly, insta, facebook, or snap (less so)

the sun sets on danisnotonfire

- i am very normal about dan's hobbit hair, i swear. - the last dnp content before the rebrand - new apartment, new floor plan investigations

adpocalypse now

- youtube has become the village elder of platforms ---* increased scrutiny, increased responsibility ---* some youtubers had been getting away with !#$!#@% - the scandals ---* pewdiepie + logan paul ---* elsagate and being "family- friendly" (read: ad-friendly) - censorship and monetization ---* adsense revenue goes down as advertisers pull out ---* the glory days of posting whatever and making bank are over

amazingphil and ~daniel howell~

- youtube & younow content - that week in march - vacations and conventions - conjoined baking and the concept of a "soft launch" - daniel & depression → dan as a mental health advocate - truth bombs, ii announcement, rewind

(2018): the phandom vs the hiatus they told us not to worry about

interactive introverts

- "giving the people what they want" - in hindsight… - let's talk about dnp fans from the global south

youtuber burnout

- it wasn't just dan: (more examples than header fits) - the old model was simply not sustainable - newer contributing factors - research on burnout, plus personal anecdotal experience

other dan and phil content

- younow/rize lives - dan's last videos before… you know… - phil's solo content in 2018 (quiff!!) - pinof → wdapteo - the gaming channel

other stuff happening online and in the world

- youtube raises the barriers to monetization - many "pivot to video" creators are now independent - the modern youtuber's multiple streams of income - continuations of societal trends in 2016 - musical.ly becomes tiktok - notable: she-ra and the princesses of power

the hiatus™: part myth, part reality

- how long dan was actually offline - major confounder: tumblr implodes almost overnight - major confounder: perception of content density from '13-'16 - major confounder: rapidly maturing audience - major confounder: our temporal awareness is about to go way ↓↓

~ baking interlude 3: scotcheroos ~

minnesotans and their obsession with "bars"

amy has one last existential crisis (you know, to date)

(2019): demolishing the closet with a nail bat

phil videos in the first 5 months of this very important year

basically i'm gay

- my thoughts - its legacy in the canon of "coming out" stories - multiple things can be true at once

coming out to you

- my thoughts - its legacy in the canon of "coming out" stories - why phil waited (actual explanations, speculation)

amy's 2019

- return to the audience, not really to the phandom (rip tumblr) - strange coincidence that i also had a major life transition

dan and phil: still here, freshly queer

- twitter becomes the main nexus of phandom, by default - regular phil uploads + brief return to younow - vidcon

(2020): go home and stay there

so it's a goddamn global public health crisis

- infectious disease perspective - effects on overall well-being of adults - effects on kids and teenagers (sorry to all of you) - political and economic impacts

hitherto unforeseen levels of online content consumption

- tiktok replaces basically all short-form video content - yet another wave of new (otherwise unemployed) youtubers - you're watching a video essay. these got really popular now. - being young and isolated: thoughts from younger phannies

the Content™ bc that's the one word we use for this now

- phil's videos - when dan is around - that attitude magazine interview - pour one out for the phil solo project(s) the panini wrecked

further political disaster… avoided?

- checking in on the state of social issues previously discussed - unfortunately,

(2021): welcome to the 2020s, we have lingering trauma

THE PHOUSE?!?!?

- social media posts - the stereo shows

other dan and phil videos

- phil's solo videos - gay and not proud - hometown showdown - other joint videos - phil's #shorts (sounds normal in american english)

panini updates

- vaccines soon, uwu??? + entrenched misinformation - pros and cons of remote work - pros and cons of remote school - pros and cons of remote socializing

you will get through this night

- younger me really could have used this book too, dan - thoughts as a professional in a related field - reflecting on some of my more unique circumstances

daring my old school district to sue me (again!!)

- updates: racism and transphobia - updates: right-wing freaks take over the school board again - residents vote against improving mental health resources

(2022): dan returns (still not on fire)

hey so politics are um getting worse

- americans lose the right to reproductive freedom ---* the quickest of histories on where these freaks came from ---* this shit kills people. - trans kids become the punching bag of culture war discourse ---* fuck off! (gently) ---* fuck off! (i have a knife) ---* checking in on terf island

we're all doooooooooooooooomed

- dystopia daily my beloved - the style, the substance, the metatextual analysis-- - not everyone loved it, though. why? - the promo - dan on tour + sister daniel

amy's 2022

- i got covid - then i got long covid: brain fog, pots-like symptoms

some more news (i will work on my warmbo impression)

- dan joins tiktok + danisnotinteresting uploads - phil: uploading less, busy doing remote crisis management - twitter is acquired by an idiot jackass - heartstopper on netflix! ---* the show and what it means to people ---* drama (revisiting "real people can't queerbait") ---* why this has anything to do with the phandom

~ baking interlude 4: cinnamon rolls ~

- lovingly, recipe changes and corrections :) - if i have an opinion about anything, it's sweet yeasted breads

(2023): the phrenaissance

phil

- joins tiktok! - youtube uploads through september - what even is phannie tiktok. i've never used this app. help.

dystopia daily b-sides

- dan memes of 2022 - the 2023 dystopia daily episodes

amy: the doctoral candidacy process

- purgatory, privilege, poverty, and free pizza - checking in on what this is like outside the united states

pretending the panini is over

- complaining about post-adpocalypse censorship standards - honest take about "giving up" on covid - who gets the short end of the stick

the youtube algorithm is BAD and UNINTELLIGENT, actually,

- unhinged rant about not hearing about the gaming rephrival - because i was offline from other platforms. like, @amyoffline.

pov: you are a phannie (not me) on october 15th

- what i was doing on october 15th - saying goodbye forever, spooky week, and november - gamingmas - phil uploads through december

(2024): fifteen years of terrible, terrible influence

hey what the fuck is going on

- dan and phil ---* joint and phil videos ---* jokes they never would've made ten years ago ---* a collection of emotional posts about how far they've come ---* people want fun and silly content again. we'll get to why ---* nostalgia, hope, and other warm and fuzzy feelings - the phandom ---* ancient parasocial attachments, reactivated instantly ---* people are way more normal now. let's discuss why ---* tumblr vs twitter vs tiktok phandom

we're all doomed, youtube version

- my thoughts - thoughts on "dan should/shouldn't" do video essays - i can't objectively evaluate anything he makes bc [gunshots]

terrible influence tour

- legally phlonde - the concept: healing one's inner child / taking it back - we gotta talk about phannies in the global south again - no but seriously imagine it? ---*ogres are like onions, they have LAYERS ---* [placeholder for whatever does(n't) happen]

anglosphere current events once again

- the likely us tiktok ban - the tories get fired - [placeholder for whichever hell americans manifest] - witnessing genocide and feeling powerless

ffx full-circle moment to the intro of this video essay

- the night i found out they came back - why i am doing this, now with context - reflections on a nearly 15-year (parasocial) relationship

whatever youtube uploads we get during fall/december

AMY SEES TIT (nov 14)

- the vibes at the phamily reunion - buying merch to apologize for eternal ublock origin use - how much should i document?? (not during the show) - phanspiracies confirmed - atlanta confessions - favorite bits - the alternate universe where i went to tatinof and/or ii

(2025): the horrors persist, but so do we

whatever 2025 content is out while i'm still working on this

our parasocial social club

- let me be philosophytube for a second ---* every interaction has a parasocial element ---* what are we obligated to do as a phandom, actually? ---* as people who parasocially care about these two dorks? ---* what else should we be doing socially to be at our happiest? - "they're my gay uncles" vs "i'm a little in love, even now" ---* riffing about the boundary/overlap between these camps ---* sibling reads me for filth in a single text (sister daniel...) ---* at least we're all in this together

what's going to continue to draw people in

- grown adults drawing our cat whiskers back on - updates on queer/nd kids - updates on anxiety/depression rates - updates on tech and the broader environment of content - world still feels doomed

tangent - the "hard launch" and why people want it

what are people referring to, exactly

- general definition and other examples - when it comes to dan and phil - maybe they hard launched already and we just missed the memo

the ludonarrative of phandom

- if you got here early on - if you got here in the mid-2010s - if you got here after they came out - if you got here post-hiatus - final fantasy comparison: ffvii's chokehold over first-timers

a rom-com for the ages

- the tropes in play - brief tangent on the evolution of the genre - queer romantic comedies - final fantasy comparison: ffviii's plot and squall/rinoa

phriends… or…

- wholesome influence, slice-of-life - projection - final fantasy comparison: ffxv's gameplay loop, the chocobros

humans don't like ambiguity

- from a media perspective (narrative tension) - research from the hard sciences - final fantasy comparison: fanille ---* the first gay final fantasy characters, actually ---* ffxiii's character development process ---* fang and vanille in the text. brb, clawing at the walls ---* so, if anyone is looking for a phyuri au prompt…

tl;dr: reality is not fiction. make peace with not "knowing"

end tangent, back to your regularly scheduled programming

the phuture

- phil's big solo project when??? - dapg is just the joint channel now - youtube has changed since when dan last "regularly" uploaded - nothing lasts forever, and that's okay

~ baking interlude 5: ranch + pizza ~

- ranch propaganda and ranch metaphors - showing off my dough and sauce skills

conclusions

- a lot has happened in 15 years - [placeholders: don't write your conclusions before you do your research]

Proof this project can only be done in consultation with Tumblr: no other platform we're on could accommodate a post of this length and formatting detail lol

[shubblelive]

— FRONT ROW

summary : for the first time, you see just how many fans wilbur has in person, and for the first time, you begin to feel like you might not be able to handle it.

genre : angst -> fluff, happy ending

warnings : one or two swearwords, reader gets overwhelmed, they almost break up (but not really i promise)

pairing : cc!wilbur soot x fem!reader

pronouns : she/her, reader is called wilbur's girlfriend

featuring : cc!wilbur soot, cc!ranboo (mentioned), cc!philza (mentioned), kristen

requested : @gracietaylorsversions Hiii! Ilysm could you maybe write a fic inspired by the song “dark red” by steve lacey, more specifically the part: “only you my girl, only you babe” where the reader gets insecure and jealous but wilbur makes sure to reassure her <333

word count : 1.5K

note : hello angel! now, i personallly hate writing jealousy fics i feel like i can NOT do it well, so i opted to delve more into insecurity than jealousy with this one. i'm so glad you're liking my stuff thank you so much it means the worlds

the room was massive. it was like a warehouse, but with seperate rooms off the main one, and way more people. you were in one of the separate rooms, carpeted and less crowded, a yellow card around your neck with your name written on it suspended by a lanyard. 

you weren’t a creator. you didn’t stream or make youtube videos or anything, you hardly even posted on instagram. the only reason you were attending vidcon was because of the man whose arm was wrapped around your shoulder as he chatted avidly to ranboo. 

they had a panel later, the first one since the pandemic had started. it had been somewhat of a surprise to you, when wilbur started getting so big as quickly, but you’d always know it was bound to happen. now, three years into your relationship, you were about to see your boyfriend in front of his first live audience.

one of the vidcon crew members arrived in the room as signalled everyone’s attention, everyone in your group falling silent. they’d all be leaving to go on stage soon. you wouldn’t be alone though, phil’s wife would be there in the audience with you. 

while wilbur got instructions from the crew member, another producer lead you, kristen, and a few other guests of creators into your seats, and you waited anxiously for your boyfriend to come out. 

the two of you had together since 2019. you had helped him move into his streaming office (and subsequently out of his streaming office after getting evicted), and had been there every single step of the way through his streaming career. his fans knew of you. they knew your name and what you looked like, and that you and wilbur had been dating for years, but not much more than that. 

you were as supportive of a partner as you physically could be, helping him out as much as you were able to. for his first ever vidcon, you’d been lucky enough to be able to take time off work to go to LA with him, and he’d let you know over and over how grateful he was for it. you’d held his hand across the atlantic ocean and let him go just in time for him to meet his adoring public. 

and adoring they were. it had been your first time ever truly seeing your partner’s fans in person aside from the odd chance meeting. this was extremely overwhelming. he stepped out of the wings and made eye contact with you immediately, waving at you subtly as he greeted the rest of the crowd. the featured creator hour went for, predictably, about an hour, and as your boyfriend and his friends left the stage, the audience was left to disperse on their own. you guys had saved seats for this one in advance, so you’d had a producer escort you into them, but this time it was just you and kristen in a sea of hundreds of teenagers.

“excuse me,” a small voice piped up, and you whirled around to see a young girl, no older than fourteen standing nervously behind you. she introduced herself nervously, and told you that she thought you had always seemed lovely, and asked for a photo. kristen took it for her, and she left with a beaming smile on her face as you felt your heart thrash against your ribcage. 

there were so many people here, and you were already incredibly overwhelmed by the noise, but now the knowledge that people were perceiving you, even if it was only one fourteen year old girl was just too much to handle. “hey!” you called out to kristen as you both reached the door, having to nearly yell over the noise. “bathroom, i’ll be right back.”

“do you want me to come with you?” her husband would be back in the creator lounge by now, you knew, so you shook your head. 

“no, i’ll be alright, you get back to phil. will you tell wilbur where i am though, please?” she nodded at you, and you took off towards the nearest bathroom. it was absolutely packed, so you skipped it and went straight outside to the carpark. it was hot, and you took a swig of your water bottle as you sat down on the concrete, back against the wall of the building. there were still somehow dozens of fans out here, but you didn’t care.

you needed to get better with this stuff. this was wilbur’s job, and you were his partner. if you were going to spend the rest of your life with him, then you’d need to be able to go to things like this and support him. 

he had so many people’s eyes on him, and you knew that all he wanted was yours. you couldn’t be there for him in the way you needed to. he deserved better. 

the internet was a cruel place. of course you’d seen hate of yourself. you’d seen wilbur shipped with any female friend he came into contact with, and you had always been okay about it. but maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea if he dated someone from the industry. he was bound to find someone eventually, someone who loved him just as hard as you did and was able to be there to support him. 

you weren’t cut out for this. you needed wilbur.

he was beside you. “are you alright? what’s going on?” he was scanning the small scattering of fans around the carpark areas, hoping to find somewhere to get you away from prying eyes. “darling?”

“i’m okay,” your voice shook, and he helped you to your feet. “you should go back inside.”

“i am not going anywhere without you,” he said resolutely, hand securely wrapped around yours. 

“i’m such a shit girlfriend,” you tried to laugh, but their were anxious tears forming in your eyes. it was so bright that you had to squint to look at wilbur, who was shielding you from the LA sun. “i’m sorry.”

“what are you talking about?” he asked softly. “you’re not shit, darling. furthest from it, in fact. you’re the best girlfriend i’ve ever had.”

“i’d hope so considering we’re still dating,” you said quietly. “maybe we shouldn’t be, though.”

wilbur thought he couldn’t feel more anxious after the creator hour. existing in front of such a massive croud of people was something that had never felt real to him, but then he’d looked out into the audience and had seen you, and he knew that after he left he’d be able to pull you into his arms and kiss you, and that you would fix the pounding of his heart. and then he’d stepped back inside the lounge and been met with just kristen, he waited, ten, fifteen minutes, believing you when you’d said you’d gone to the bathroom, before he used the find my friends app on his phone to see where you were. but that sentence made earlier feel like the most calm he had ever felt. “you want to break up?”

his voice quivered, low and deep, and you shook your head frantically. “of course i don’t want to. i was just thinking that…”

“that we should.” he finished flatly. “why?”

his hands were still around yours, but this felt more for his sake than yours now. “i can’t do this, wilbur.” you breathed out. “i can’t do the crowds and the screaming and the hoards of people who know that i exist, i can’t do it.”

wilbur’s face crumpled with relief. “you don’t have to, darling. i promise. from now on, no more events or conventions or panels that you don’t want to go to. please, i love you so much, i’m not gonna lose you over this.”

“but you deserve to have someone there who can do these things!” you argued. “someone who gets it, who understands!”

“i don’t want someone who gets it.” wilbur shot back immediately, silencing you. “i want you. i love you so much, darling. i don’t care if you don’t like the crowds, or if you don’t feel comfortable with me talking about you on stream or posting photos on instagram. none of that means anything to me. the only important thing is you and only you.”

you were almost crying as you kissed him, having to close your eyes instinctively against the sun as his lips pushed against yours, his hands caressing your back comfortingly. “i’m sorry, wil.” you said softly, lips still on his. “i’m being silly.”

“just a little,” he admitted between kisses. “but so am i. i’m just glad you’re here. i love you, silly.”

“i’d say it back but i don’t feel like it anymore.”

he barked out a laugh. “fine! i’m sorry. i love you, darling. my serious girl.”

“that’s somehow worse.” he kissed you to make it up to you, though, so you allowed him to drag you back inside, this time he got a security guard to sneak you in through a back corridor where you were still met with a room full of people who knew your name. except this one had a reserved seat right next to wilbur as you got to watch him live out his dreams, right there in the front row. 

[goldenpinof]

a screenshot of the whole article is under the cut (in case this thing gets deleted from the website)

you know how people nowadays get news from tiktok? well I get my phan news from you. what interview

being compared to tiktok might be a new low but i love being a news source here you go

https://metro.co.uk/2024/05/10/daniel-howell-without-youtube-a-closeted-lawyer-20800874/

[thisdayindnphistory]

This Day in Dan & Phil History - June 28

2009 - im sure you did

2012 - the kings of the internet (dan and @tyleroakley meet for the first time at vidcon :-)

2014 - meet & greet era at Vidcon

2015 - MERCH DROP ❗

2016 - such a millennial

2017 - dan curls phil's hair

2019 - Fresh Gay

[ahappydnp]

did people think something was up with them the month before big was posted? i’m a post coming out phannie so i don’t know how people reacted to everything!

me personally in may 2019 was mourning dan possibly never coming back to the internet and dnp not doing anything together in public as a duo despite dan hinting in the first part of 2019 that he was planning on something ("have you lived your truth yet" "almost"). people were theorizing it was coming out video but i was adamant dan would NEVER explicitly come out especially in a video (lmaoo)

and then literally june 1st vidcon announces they're both coming to vidcon and dan would be a featured creator and we were like...uhhhh he hasnt posted in a year? does this mean he's coming back??? and then later that same day was the muse concert and it was like "oh..something is coming"

his birthday that year felt a little underwhelming and i remember people being disappointed because he didn't like any birthday art or tweets the 11th or 12th. and then. june 13th 2019.

[azuphere]

Okay but you still haven’t explained what the glitch theory is, like what does it mean??

omgg lore dump time this is so exciting, more under the cut but the glitch theory basically revolves around this merch from phil from november 2019 !

(re: this ask)

so like at the time, this piece of merch had ppl like 👀👀 bc the concept and the graphic novel vibe and the way it said ‘to be continued’ had ppl thinking this might be a hint at a secret project!

and over the years, phil would keep hinting at wanting to channel his creative energies into a project, and how he'd love to do smth interactive like bandersnatch ! esp in 2019/early-2020:

in 'The Scary Reason I Didn't Buy A House' (april 2019), he said: "I do actually have a story in my head, I'm just not quite sure how I wanna tell it yet. So it could be a book, it could be like a TV series-style screenplay, it could be a movie script. I just need to consolidate all these ideas in my head and turn them into the thing. But I have been thinking about it for about five years, so it's just when the right time is to actually release the ideas."

in 'draw my life: part 2' (august 2019), he said: "maybe for the next secret big project, it's time for Philly to think about the big dreams he's always had! [...] What I've always dreamed of doing is writing stories and directing films to take what's in my mind and share it with the world on your screen, maybe even a bigger screen. Now remember the rule of secret projects! Who knows what's going on and if it'll ever be real, but let's just say some writing is happening."

in an interview from february 2020, he said that his plans for 2020 included: "a few projects on the burn which I'm not ready to announce fully yet. They all involve writing. There are some stories I'd like to tell, so with some hard work and a bit of luck I might be able to share these with you on-screen on in print next year."

in the TalentWorks podcast from vidcon london (february 2020) at about 29:35 (youtube link), he said: "I think I've reached a point where I'm ready to sink my teeth into a new big project [...] I'm ready to do something new that's also very Phil and very my own thing, so I've been looking into- I'm really obsessed with interactivity. I think there's been a big boom of it since Bandersnatch [...]. I already pitched one interactive thing which didn't work out, but I got a lot of other ideas that I'm thinking of."

and in one of the stereo shows, dnp also confirmed that they tried pitching an interactive show to netflix but it fell through cause of covid ! and there was this insta story of dan being in LA in january 2020, which aligns with the timeline mentioned in the podcast. a transcription of that stereo moment is here

so it was never confirmed whether the glitch hoodie was actually supposed to be smth greater or if it was just a fun merch idea, but it was a common fan theory that glitch was supposed to be one of phil's projects!

and i think one of the most notable theories that supported the glitch concept was that a couple weeks after the merch release, phil tweeted this:

bc the suspicious thing is that it's nearly identical to smth he tweeted 4 years prior on literally the same day and almost the same exact time ! so we’d joke about how it was like a glitch (!!) in the simulation and he even responded to a tweet about it. and he also talks about it in this liveshow (at 24:39), where he just jokes about how he's living in the matrix

so yea! tldr: glitch is just one theory about what (one of) phil's secret projects is <3

[goldenpinof]

Rewatching the livestream and I can’t believe they had the audacity to say they came back to dapg not knowing if it’d be well-received or not and getting surprised by the reaction as if we literally didn’t beg them to revive the gaming channel for 5 YEARS STRAIGHT

i know. Dan is such a bitch about it. like, he loves to pretend that Phil and us haven't been asking him to come back to dnpg for years. this question is literally on tape from Vidcon 2019 or 2020 (probably both tbh). people were constantly asking Dan about dnpg during wad meet and greets in 2022-2023. like, god, shut the fuck up, this is a traumatic memory, and you know it!

[undercover-bro]

As I'm slowly working on the timeline/outline for my 2019 friends to lovers Shourtney fic...

Actual POV of me listening to the OG Smoshcast and trying to estimate when they filmed SSG: Apocalypse between Court's birthday, a very eventful 4th of July weekend, and VidCon.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Post Coming Out Universe Masterlist

Basically I'm Gay: Dan's True Colors (ao3) - trancelover99

Summary: This was it: The one video that would change his entire life. A part of himself that Dan pushed deep down for YEARS. With a little encouragement from Phil, Dan uploads his coming out video. But will he be prepared for the comments that follow?

Big crowds means judging eyes (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: From their hotel room Dan and Phil can see the crowds they'll encounter at this years vidcon. In a post-coming out world, comfort is needed for the prospect of many judging eyes

Devilishly Endearing (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Dan and Phil are making a mess in Karen's kitchen, luckily for them, she thinks they are cute.

from the starting line (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan and Phil visit Dan’s family for the first time in a post-coming out universe.

endings are like beginnings (ao3) - wiccamoody

Summary: Dan wakes up in the post-coming out universe.

hey, brother (ao3) - lestered (clonetrobed)

Summary: It’s time for Phil to reintroduce himself to Dan’s family in the proper context, but there’s one member that he’s not entirely confident about connecting with.

I Want to Hold Your Hand (ao3) - CaibrynM

Summary: A minor incident/misunderstanding while traveling to IOM for Christmas leads Dan to reflect on boundaries and comfort levels in the post coming out universe.

i’ll meet you in the light (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Phil looks at the photo and sees them how he sees them in his own head, not them as their larger-than-life internet personas. It’s them, happy and at peace with their lives and who they are in 2019. And he suddenly has the strangest urge to share the photo, to show the world how damn happy he and Dan are, despite everything that’s happened in the past.

i'm ready now (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: “When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.” -Billy, age 4 (2 of 2)

Lighter Than Air (ao3) - silentdescant

Summary: Dan and Phil are sappy drunks and they're heading home together.

little comfort card (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary. Phil goes to VidCon alone. Cue separation anxiety, something Dan seems to have accounted for..

meet the howells (ao3) - toffeelemon

Summary: After a decade of going home alone, Dan finally brings Phil along to see his family. As his boyfriend.

(set after the awkward email, before the video)

Nana (ao3) - ahappyphil

Summary: “The thing is, coming out to his family proved to be the easy part. It’s what followed that’s been difficult, more emotionally draining, more vulnerable. It’s like the invisible wall that’s been between them now has physical form. It has a name now.“

On The Road (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: Phil still isn’t quite used to it all being okay. He isn’t used to Dan not fearfully dissecting a tweet reply that called them queer icons. He isn’t used to things like what the two teenagers they bumped into at the airport said when they stuttered out, “I met my girlfriend because of you,” feeling only good. No twinge of bittersweet.

A fic about changes and landscape.

rainbow, proud (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Phil really wants the corgi shirt, but Dan thinks he has enough already

Safe (ao3) - TearDrop1234

Summary: Phil is in a mood and works his way through it with a naked Dan.

Safe Place (ao3) - ahappyphil

Summary: The Isle of Man is warm and unseasonably sunny, or maybe it’s just Kath. Maybe her maternal glow just radiates off this little island.

secrets (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: of sharpie tattoos and facing the bittersweet truths of a post-coming out universe

some killer queen you are (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan’s enjoyed taking a break from YouTube, but for some reason, he still feels like something is missing. Determined to fill the creative void in his life, he decides to try out something new: drag.

stop speak support (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: There’s just an extra layer of awareness in his mind as he sits next to Phil on the sparsely populated tube on their way to a meeting, and the group of lads in their school uniforms stream into the carriage and start filling up the empty seats.

Strike a Pose (ao3) - ahappyphil

Summary: Walking a red carpet in a post coming out world

words that water flowers (ao3) - neopold

Summary: He would call his nan and ask, like he usually does when life asks unanswerable questions. But she would most likely refer to a bible verse, and he’s not sure he’s up to listening to a book constantly trying to invalidate his existence.

your hoodies (come wrapped around me) (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Unpacking for their move into bigger quarters, Dan finds an ancient treasure in the back of their conjoined closet.

[winterxgardener]

So let me get this straight,

1. Shourtney trivial tntl

2. Shourtney getting married

3. Hard launching their marriage

4. Marriage party

5. Actual Courtney podcast w/ almost 3m views

6. Co ed bachelor party

7. Shayne posting Courtney on his main feed and story captioned “my vibes lately” + cat dad Shayne

ALL IN THE SPAN OF LESS THAN 2 MONTHS!?!!!? We’re not even in June yet (at the time of writing this) and we got all that + more things I probably missed. I thought nothing could top 2019 shourtney but this is a whole new level. Never in my better half of a decade of knowing them would I even think of all this. I’m so happy yet scared for what’s next. A part of me hopes they can give my heart a break but I really enjoy all of it at the same time. HOLY GOD 🤯💥

Thank you for this summary of our roller-coaster rides since April. (did it sink in to you already?🙈)

I am both excited and scared( mostly for my body clock💤✌️) for June tbh. We would have Courtney's TNTL birthday, Vidcon 2024 and Courtney's birthday celebration.

We started June with a bang with Courtney's IG post. One thing is for sure, we need to brace ourselves.

[supergoopersworld]

The DM saga: A retrospective

Dedicated to Duck. Thanks for requesting.

This wouldn’t be a Quinton Reviews blog if we didn’t at least mention the event that put him in the radar of many. It all started with one tweet:

Replying to herself Sarah would tweet this message came from a male YouTuber that would mention in video when she wasn’t replying to his messages.

Then Lindsay Ellis adds another six messages from the same guy.

Everyone suspects Quinton. Those are the components of this saga everybody knows.

Three years later, some people still say Quinton's involvement is merely a rumour and some even try to spin it as Quinton being the victim. Sounds familiar.

Here are some facts that only sickos knew about.

Sarah mentioned the original message was from a male YouTuber that mentioned in his videos when she didn't reply his messages.

At 56:35, Quinton mentions that he couldn't reach Sarah (who played Irma in a previous video reading Garfield strips).

Lindsay's reply contains three pairs of messages. Two of those pairs line up with times Quinton was in Anaheim.

July 2019: VidCon 2019. Quinton attends a panel held by Ellis, tags her in a tweet.

February 2020: Quinton goes on a trip to meet with friends and use his soon to expire Disney Land annual pass.

There were also attempts by forensic photo editing aficionados to prove it was Quinton.

If these tweets among others didn't pick up more traction at the time it was because the moment it became very obvious it wasn't MovieBob then people started to say it wasn't their place to speculate since the male YouTuber hadn't been named directly.

You can probably figure Quinton wasn't going to react directly, but in very Quinton fashion he had to make his feelings known.

But someone just so happened to notice and subtweet.

Quinton disappears of the Internet for a week, while most people either already know it was him or are doing mental gymnastics to say it suddenly doesn't matter.

It could have ended right there, but it didn't. Some context will be necessary. Quinton has two Discord servers: one of his Patreon (Quinton's Quarantine Quew), where all the parasocial talk comes from, and Quanto Analysis, from where he runs his channel with his friends and closest allies (until this controversy you only needed six dollars to enter). Someone leaked the latter in a html file for all the comments around the DM saga.

He would go to say other things like how the Mumkey Jones nontroversy prevented him from reaching 1M, mock Ellis by saying "stop me if I ever make a long video after I get cancelled", that he needs to suffer to make 'good art', complaining about his weight or expressing surprise when his channel broke the free fall it was in to make the way to the current state of his channel.

Now and then people accused Quinton of harassment and even labelled him worse things. None were true, he is just a cringelord that still acts like he is in high school. For that very reason, I took enough issue to write about the Flowergothic saga and revisit this one. Because I know Quinton incapable of being a creep, but he is one heavy prick who has bent the truth before and would do again.

[golbrocklovely]

if you've been a fan of snc for a while, you might remember this video from 2019 when they went to vidcon. i have been looking for this video for YEARS. and i finally found it.

this video sparked all the cute pics of colby smiling bc he was just giddy in this video lol

[lilac-hecox]

oh anthony definitely seems like a person who doesn't like to stay single. like how kalel said in her qna that after their breakup he wanted to get back with her and shortly after that he started seeing miel. also the miel breakup was sorta sus and she wrote a whole heartbreak album about him. the thing was he prolly broke up with her in may/june 2019 and started seeing mykie after vidcon 2019 [officially sept] now im not saying cheating was involved but- who knows. fast forward to now it looks like they're going through a breakup and similar pattern of aesthetic switch

WAIT, there is a heartbreak album about Anthony, and no one told me? I need more info!! How can I find it? Name? Deets? Didn't Ian introduce him to Miel?