#Very opposite my usual ''get weird'' motto

[artist-issues]

You know... it also just seems really weird that Disney has been going out of it's way to subvert everything from its past.

If I put myself in the mind of "everything we were founded on, and everything we create before ~2016 was bad" I don't see why I'd keep going. Like... if Disney thinks Disney sucks, why be Disney? (money IG)

You're right! It must be a very discouraging thing to work for Disney nowadays, if you're the kind of person to think about legacy, or occupy your daily thoughts with some degree of foresight.

The truth is, there is a part of Disney that is successful because it was innovative--it raised the bar and set the culture.

But there's also a part of Disney that is trying to guess what the culture likes, and capitalize on that popularity--the culture tells it what to do.

That's all organizations. Some are brave and say, "no, this is who we are and what we believe, and you can take it or leave it." And usually the culture takes it, because the culture is inspired by strong leadership and clear identities.

But then they get a big following. And it's almost impossible for the organization that used to shape the culture to do anything but become terrified that they'll lose that culture. So then they start making decisions based out of fear, and self-glorification, and insecurity--the total opposite of the confident, bold, innovative identity it used to have.

Disney used to say "oh you think cartoons are just gags? Let me invent the first ever animated feature film--in color! See you in the National Film Registry, skeptics."

It used to say, "oh, you critics think all my fairy tale and animal movies are too light? That they've got no weight to help the kids face real life? Let me make a smash-hit about a Nanny who convinces a work-and-harsh-realities-obsessed father that what his children really need is a spoonful of sugar. Because yeah, life's hard, but that's why we make the job a game."

It used to say, "you think the animated genre died with Walt? You think everyone would rather watch George Lucas movies than a cartoon fairy tale? Let me introduce you to an Academy Award-winning Princess story we call the Little Mermaid. You can stop digging our grave; we just saved animation."

It used to say "you think it can't be done? Hold my mouse ears." And it just did it. And didn't care if audiences said silly, shallow things like "girls don't need to be rescued by a prince!!1!" Or "grown-ups don't watch cartoons lol!!"

Nowadays, though? They're so big they don't know who they are anymore. And they're so big they're scared to lose anything, or take risks. I'm sure there's a lot of political pockets involved, too. They don't dare say anything but what the loudest, most complaining members of our society tell them to say.

They're no longer trend-setters and trail-blazers. They're a monument that is whatever the loudest people tells them to be. Has to suck, when you're the company that followed Walt's "Keep moving forward" motto.

[return-to-twisted-wonderland]

🔆anon

You know the saying “happy wife. happy life.”? Do my characters (the ones in relationships) and their partners feel it fitting to them? (Though most of them would be husband/boyfriend instead of wife.)

Domino - “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Silver fit that phrase. Not only do I rarely see him upset, but he doesn’t usually act as emotional or ‘hysterical’ as where the saying comes from. So not really.”

Silver - “I wouldn’t think that’s fitting for Domino. He can get frustrated, angry, sad and act as such, but I wouldn’t say he does more than that. He’s usually pretty happy, all things considered.”

Kit - “It would be extremely hard to get Kalim to fit anywhere near that saying. He gets sad from time to time, sure, but he’s usually a ball of sunshine. And when he is genuinely upset over something, he’s not one to cause problems for others. The most I’ve seen him do would be snap at people who attacked me, Fellow, and Gidel. But, that wasn’t at me and was very much deserved.”

Kalim - “I would be sad if Kit was! So it would be an unhappy life! But if you mean by the over reacting and complaining, then probably. She lets somethings go, but other things she can rant on for hours about, and those things are usually like her clothes getting caught on something. Things she rants to me about because it’s a place she can. But I think her being able to talk to me is better than her bottling it in. Plus, I like hearing her talk.”

Toryn - “You know, I hate to say this, but Vil is a diva and like the definition of this phrase. If something is bugging him, I know. He rants about it for hours on end. He doesn’t throw a fit or anything, but I know about every minor inconvenience that’s happened to him since I met him. And I also tend to become a makeup doll so he can relive stress. Not that I mind, it’s actually very relaxing.”

Vil - “Toryn is the exact opposite of ‘Happy wife. Happy life.’ My problem is having to get him to open up if something is bugging him in the first place. He’s not one to make a scene ever. It gets better with time, but I beg him to act at least slightly closer to that.”

Dekker - “Does Azul fit that saying? Yes. If something is bugging him, he doesn’t let it go. I’d have to wrench him from trying to fix it, then listen to a tirade about it. Then he clings to me until he feels better. He would never admit to doing any of this, but time how long it takes for him to mention me when I’m not around.”

Azul - “Sevens, that is one of Dekker’s mottos. If he’s upset at something, he will spend hours or days fixing it, no matter how small. And when I finally claw him away, he rants and rants about it. He is a little songbird, I guess. There’s also cuddling. So much cuddling. Would he admit to this? No. But time how long it takes for him to mention me after I step out.”

Trinity - “Does that fit Snippy Snappy? I guess… But only slightly. I have heard him rant over minor inconveniences a lot, but that’s about it. He’s pretty pragmatic in fixing things and can let things go when need be. Unless Malleus is involved, but that usually makes him happy anyways.”

Sebek - “I don’t think I’ve seen Trinity make a single fuss over something like an inconvenience. Half the time that’s the problem. She needs to say what’s bugging her more. She does eventually get to a point where she makes quiet and small rants if something is a tiny inconvenience, but that takes a while to get to and her opening up like that was probably one of the best things I could have heard.”

Malynne - “Before I answer if that fits Rook, let me ask you something. Have you seen Rook upset over a minor inconvenience? I certainly haven’t. I’ve seen him upset and sad, but those are usually for bigger things. If something inconveniences him, he’d probably make it into a poem. It’s kind of weird. But it’s my weird.”

Rook - “Anyone would be sad if leur cœr was sad, non? But I will admit mon amour has a certain fire to her that can burn brightly if she’s angry or annoyed. She can be very emotional, but that is only part of her beauty. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I can handle some burns if it means I get to see her fire of her soul.”

—

(Colors. And yes, Azul and Dekker both act the same way when they’re annoyed. Try to fix the problem, rant on and on about it, cuddle for as long as they want and then some, then deny they act like that.)

(Colors~)

Azul and Dekker please.

[brightbeautifulthings]

The Luminaries by Susan Dennard

"That's why we're called the Luminaries, Winnie: we are lanterns the forest can never snuff out."

Year Read: 2022

Rating: 3/5

About: All her life, Winnie Wednesday has dreamed of joining the ranks of the hunters in the Luminaries, a secret society of magical hunters and researchers in Hemlock Falls. Since her father was exposed as a witch, Winnie and her family have been outcasts, but she's determined to change that by passing her first hunter trial on her sixteenth birthday. All she has to do is kill a nightmare in the woods at night before it can kill her. What she discovers that night in the woods is a monster no one in Hemlock Falls has heard of before-- and no one believes is real. I received a free e-ARC through NetGalley from the publishers at Macmillan-Tor/Forge. Trigger warnings: severe injury, body horror, blood/gore, bug horror, violence, bullying.

Thoughts: This was a weird instance of enjoying the world-building but not so much the characters or the plot, when usually it's the opposite for me. Generally, I get bogged down in fantasy novels with too much world-building, but in this case I was fascinated by the different kinds of monsters and wanted to know more. (Obviously, there's your answer-- put monsters in it, and you have my attention.) Unfortunately, I was way less interested in the structure of the Luminaries' secret hunter society, and every moment we didn't spend in the woods while Winnie got her ass kicked by some creature, I was bored.

More unfortunately, there's almost no plot to be seen. The novel does exactly what it says on the tin and takes Winnie through her three trials, and literally nothing else happens. There are no twists or turns and no surprises other than the fact that she manages to survive increasingly unlikely numbers of monsters despite being hopelessly undertrained. I felt like I should be interested in the sudden switch between her outsiderness and her reacceptance, but it all felt very repetitive. Winnie goes over the same things in her head in every chapter, and the clan mottos are beaten to death.

I liked Jay's character more, since brooding loner is one of my preferred character types, and while I have my theories about what's up with him, nothing much comes to light in this book-- which is actually one of the major problems. So many mysteries are started and left open-ended that it has neither plot nor thematic closure, so the ending doesn't really feel like an ending, and I was kind of wondering why I bothered by the time I got there. I'm probably curious enough to read spoiler reviews when the next book is out, but I’m not likely to continue with the series on my own.

[dopesotherstuff]

The Turncoat Part 1 Chapter 1

Former SAS career man turned vampire hunter James Willoughby comes to question everything he believes after the torture of a traumatized, very humane young vampire movie star reveals the brutality of the Society of Leopold. But when he helps Ash escape and the two flee back up the coast, vengeful hunters and a furious Grunfeld Bach aren’t the only dangers they’ll face.

(warnings for death, violence, torture, religious trauma)

Chapter 1

The Boy In The Cage

The motto of the Willoughby family is “Verite sans Peur”, which means “Truth Without Fear”. It’s on my billfold along with the family’s blue-and-gold crest. It upholds both an ethic of scrupulous honesty in a world riddled with cowardly lies, and the courage to face facts, no matter what they are. I have always sought to keep those morals close to my heart. 

But one night, not long ago, I found those morals tested in a way that would change my life forever.

I came back from clearing out a nest of genuine monsters one night to find a boy half my age in one of the interrogation cages. He looked familiar, but I couldn’t place him. Dark-haired, almost girlishly pretty under the scruff, doe-eyes with a perpetually sullen, tired look and, of course, ashen skin. 

The strange thing wasn’t that he wasn’t human. It was that he didn’t look up when I stepped up onto the dock and set my gear bag down with a heavy thump. Usually, they rushed the bars as soon as they saw one of us. But this one wasn’t even threatening the guy that was practically within arm’s reach.

Brother Bellamy was cleaning ashes and bones from one of the other cages. I’d put the big bastard that had occupied that cage into it two nights ago, after staking him with a crossbow bolt. All fur, claws and rabid madness, that one. Nearly tore the cage off its foundations trying to get at us. I wasn’t surprised that they’d killed it quickly.

“No luck, Bellamy?” I asked him. 

The small, muscular man in the flak jacket looked back at me and sighed through his nose, shaking his head. “We got the disease sample off of it that Bach wanted, but it didn’t know anything about the source. Or much of anything else. Looks like they turned a teenager, infected him, built him up into that…thing…like the others, then set it loose.” He eyed me. “You clear out that nest in East LA?” 

“Eight confirmed kills, besides whatever was in that damned pit they dug. Looked like some kind of occult ritual. I dropped a thermite grenade into it, so I’m not sure of the final number.” I winced, rolling my stiff shoulders. The sniper rifle seemed to kick me a lot harder these days. Or maybe I was getting old. 

God, that was an odd thought. Who the hell lived long enough to get old in this business, aside from Bach with his weird powers? But here I was, one of the few real veterans on this mission, aside from Bach himself. 

Bellamy chuckled and shook his head. “Bach sent you to clear out something like that on your own? Either he thinks you’re unstoppable, or he really doesn’t like you.”

I sighed and scooped up my bag again, walking down the pier onto solid stone. I doubted that Bach even knew my name, let alone had an opinion about me. He didn’t usually pay much attention to the welfare of his subordinates, either way. 

Every last one of us knew why we were here, what we were facing, and that it was likely to kill us sooner rather than later. We did it for the safety of humanity and to serve the wrath of God. Though for Bach, it was in the opposite order. By a lot. 

In fact, human safety didn’t seem to be much of a priority for him at all. And more and more, I had a problem with that.

Two nights ago, he had set fire to a mansion in the Hollywood Hills, claiming it was the home of a pair of vampires. The fire had burned its way through multiple houses, killed three people and sent a dozen more to the hospital, including small children. 

Collateral damage, Bach had called it. Their sacrifices would be noted in Heaven.

When he had said that, I had felt something that was definitely unauthorized in the Society’s eyes. The growing urge to punch my superior in the teeth.

The feeling had started a year ago, in Buenos Aires, when Bach had burned down an entire villa miseria to free it from the trio of vampires feeding on the population. Ten people had died, and we had only been able to confirm one vampire kill. Sloppy. Cruel. He had probably caused more deaths that day than the damn bloodsuckers, and an entire neighborhood worth of innocent people had lost their homes when they had almost nothing to begin with.

Bach had no idea that he had someone in his midst who was questioning his leadership and morals. I always hid it well, because such a thing was unheard of in the Society of Leopold altogether, let alone in Bach’s outfit.

Nobody questioned him. Nobody even talked behind his back, knowing that it would always get back to him. Disloyalty came with harsh punishments--harsher than the SAS had ever dreamed of.

But as I had watched him praying in triumph with that little slum burning behind him, the wrongness of it had started to gnaw at me. And now, all of that flooded back into my head as I stared at the hunched-over ball of undead boy in that cell.

“Who’s the kid?” I asked as casually as I could as I glanced Bellamy’s way. The captive didn’t move. Had they just gotten done interrogating him? He already looked completely beaten down, but there didn’t seem to be a mark on him. 

“Ash Rivers.” He didn’t even look up from sweeping out the empty cage. “Looks like one of those things infected him. Now we’ve got to find out what he knows.”

I looked over at the boy--or the vampire who now sat in the boy’s place. Bach, that Catholic drama queen, always insisted that demons rose from Hell to replace the souls of vampires, imitating their personalities perfectly. Damned things, every one. But this one…

This one looked like he’d spent the last month at a black site getting his bloody toenails pulled out. Scared, exhausted, too broken to even raise his head. It wasn’t the manner of a monster.

It was the manner of a scared kid in a fucking cage.

“Going to go clean up,” I said distractedly.

“Be there for midnight Mass,” Bellamy reminded me. I winced again as I headed up the tunnel to my bunk. Group prayers did nothing for me either, these days. And of course, I couldn’t admit that, any more than I could admit that Bach was starting to look less like a man of God to me, and more like a zealot with his own set of somehow-sanctioned paranormal powers.

I needed sleep. I dragged myself to the damn Mass anyway, after a shower and a change of clothes. There really was no missing one of Bach’s sermons, not unless you wanted to get shortlisted for a suicide mission. 

But as he droned on about sacred duties, I counted the empty chairs and realized that we were down three more people in just that one night. And I wondered if he even noticed.

Are we people to him at all, or just instruments? Is anyone a person to him, or just a category? Monsters to kill. Troops to use. Ordinary folk to…ignore. Or roll over, if they’re in the way or even too close by.

…Damn the man, we’re supposed to protect them. That is what I signed up to do in the first place. And we’re certainly not supposed to endanger them for personal reasons!

It wouldn’t have bothered me so much if it weren’t for the reason why we were in the Los Angeles area in the first place. Bach could pretty much choose his own assignments due to his rank in the Society, but this time, he was being entirely selfish. This was vendetta. 

Sebastian LaCroix, who had killed Bach’s father and grandfather, ran Los Angeles from his tower in Downtown. 

I felt for the man for wanting revenge, I did. But that was a personal matter. It should have been him out there taking the risks, facing down the vampire responsible for his dead kin one on one. There had to be ways to get into that damned building.

But instead of that, or a targeted attack on the tower, we were tasked with clearing out every single vampire in Los Angeles. Picking them off, individual by nest by stronghold, until LaCroix came down from his tower to deal with the problem personally.

Except he hadn’t. He wouldn’t. Nobody had ever seen him set foot outside of the Venture building, not in a car, not in person, not even in a helicopter. If he ever left, he had to be using one of those disappearing powers, or a disguise so good that even I couldn’t see through it.

I had personally parked myself outside that damned tower four nights in a row, watching it through a combination of low-light and heat-sensing binoculars. An alarming number of people going in and out of that building had no body heat. I marked three and used my telephoto lens to get images of them. None had been well-dressed, clean-shaven blond men between 163 and 168 centimeters in height. Only one had even roughly resembled him, and he had been a good ten centimeters taller than my upper range.

I had passed the intel and photos on to Bach. As far as I knew, none of the vampires I had photographed had been picked up yet. Just the monstrous ones infesting Downtown and East LA, and the kid in that cage.

Bach believed that LaCroix would come out of his stronghold and fight for his people if we just kept the pressure on long enough. But I didn’t believe that. Worse, it seemed like we were fighting a losing battle. Even with my clearout of that nest of monsters tonight, we were losing almost as many people as the enemy. 

I watched him standing behind his podium in that stone-walled room, mumbling along with the few responses, doing my best to keep my troubled mindset off my face. He had that wild light in his eyes again, like he got when he had a vampire under his blade. Did he even see the people in front of him?

All right, so he’s terrible, I thought to myself as I faked my way through the rest of the Mass. He’s a bastard, he’s got something wrong with his head and he seems to be doing more harm than good. But maybe I’m wrong about this last bit. How much damage would these damn monsters do if we didn’t fight them? How much worse are they than him?

Every single vampire I had ever run into had been a certifiable horror, with a body count and only two modes: the fake-human act, if they could manage it, and full on sadistic savagery. 

I had seen victims hung by their heels and drained, mutilated in ways I couldn’t even suss out, addicted to vampire blood until they would gnaw at their own flesh when they couldn’t get it. I had over a decade in, and dealing with vampires had always been like staring into the mouth of Hell. 

And now, instead, we had a captive who was acting like a terrified kidnapping victim.

I lay awake thinking about it after the sermon, wondering why the sight of Ash Rivers bothered me so much. It certainly wasn’t his celebrity, or his youth. Sebastian LaCroix had a babyface too, and he was definitely a monster. 

But Ash? He just seemed so…vulnerable. So human, still.

But then again, the guy had been a career actor. Maybe he was just that good at hiding who he really was.

I had to let it go. The interrogators would get the truth out of him. Everyone’s true self came out quick under torture.

I knew that one firsthand.

[huearmy]

Life is Beautiful - III

Summary: You are a glass half full person, your life motto is “Life is too short to… Insert something and anything here”. During your whole life you wanted something more, and even not knowing what it is, you put yourself to find out and get it, experiencing everything  brilliant that the world offers - within the measure of what is safe, of course. The curious thing is that your way of living ended up rousing  the interest of two vampires. One who sees beauty in everything and  loves to exist, currently working with suicide prevention; and another one who no longer sees grace in things, in that boring immortality that never ends, and only complains about the Netflix catalog all the time.

Pairing: Jimin x reader / Taehyung x reader.

Genre: fluff, angst, mature (not really a smut i guess?)…

Words:   8k+.

Rating: +18

Warnings:    As much as my writing is soft and light, and as these are not the main  topic of the story, treated in a non-descriptive way, there are sensitive themes from the beginning of the first chapter to the end of the fic that can trigger sensitive people, like depression, suicide, addictions in general - Jimin literally works at a suicide prevention center here.  SO PLEASE! Read responsibly, my intention when dealing with topics like  this is always 1) dealing with them in myself, as a way of putting out  part of my own healing process 2) generating identification in other  people, so they can go through the difficult time a little less alone.  THIS IS A STORY THAT SEES THE WORLD WITH POSITIVITY.

Chapter I Chapter II -

As soon as Jimin left for his date with you, giving one last thanks kiss on Taehyung's cheek, the house suddenly became darker and too huge, all the colors and brightness going away with Jimin's presence.

Even after a few minutes Taehyung was still on his spot in the middle of the living room, where he wished his best friend luck. What should he do now? How should he spend his empty time? He looked around, bored eyes not fixing on anything in particular. He slowly walked to the kitchen, just because it was the first door in front of him, and without thinking at all, opened the fridge. Since it was the refrigerator of two vampires, obviously there was only one thing inside, a few bags of blood labeled by type, and nothing more but empty space. It had been a few days since the last time Tae had eaten, and it was nowhere near as much as he was used to consuming, or as much as Jimin wanted him to take. He could feel his stomach empty, but he had no desire to take even a drop, almost feeling sick at the idea. He closed the fridge.

He sighed. A whine caught his attention to the floor, a tiny, cute, confused Yeontan looking up at him.

"You would never leave me, right?" Tae asked with a pout. The puppy just whined again. Tae picked him up, right in front of his face. "I need to find a way to turn you into an immortal creature."

With the little dog firm in his arms he got back to his room, seeing no other option on what to do than play video games till Jimin's return. His colorful neon set up welcoming waiting for him. Games are just uninteresting as series and movies, but at least playing online, with unknown, and often hostile, people, he feels a little less lonely. He has kind of some friends or so called, he doesn't really know any of them, never have met them in real life - he doesn't even want to - but it's been a while since they occupied an important part of Tae's existence, just for being his company.

He played with the loud people till around four in the morning, keeping himself silent in the call for most of the time, just hearing them teasing themselves and picking silly fights over nothing from time to time, talking only when someone talked directly at him. Then the mortals one by one go to bed, and he goes all alone again. Even Yeontan is soundly sleeping.

What should he do now? And why didn't Jimin come home yet? It had been more than ten hours since he left... He got into the bad habit of getting home in the morning, betting on running in the sun, almost killing Tae with worry. Maybe he had so much fun that he lost track of time, maybe there's another cat to find... But what if something bad happened? Should dates take so long to end? Should Tae call? He never calls, today shouldn't be any different... Maybe he would get in the way of something fun or important, the last thing he wants is to bother Jimin...

At the end Taehyung was standing by the front window, hiding behind the curtains, not moving a muscle, waiting, as usual. The street was empty, no light coming from the other big beautiful houses's windows, no cars or pedestrians to observe, yet that was what he was doing. The dark sky started to light up, his eyes adapting to it, the sun showing up painfully slowly. A movement caught  Tae's attention, his side neighbor taking the trash out, like he always do on tuesday and thursday, and in the other days the old man still wake up pretty early and sit at his porch to watch the sun rise, drinking coffee, with his old cat on his lap. Taehyung saw him in this routine with three different old cats at different times. The old man practically dragged the black bag of garbage and himself down the sidewalk to the dump, with short and slow steps he went. As always. Maybe there was something wrong before and Tae didn't notice, maybe it was because of the wet grass and mud formed by the storm the night before that they still didn't dry, but the old man fell a few feet from the curb, and for some reason he wasn't trying to get up.Like, he was moving in some way, but wasn't getting up.

Taehyung waited, not blinking an eye as he stared at the man struggling on the ground, immeasurable torturing seconds. Then the man stopped moving at all. And something kicked inside Tae. He didn't even think, he couldn't. He was unable to stop and reason about it, or control his own body... To look out the window and notice that the sun had risen enough to illuminate the front door that he was now opening at full speed. When the sunlight touched his skin, it burned like hell, forming instant painful blisters, but he didn't hesitate and just ran outside. Straight to the old man, catching him without stopping and then crashing their both bodies on the porch.

"Hey, are you ok?" Tae choked, feeling his lungs burning. "Sir!"

The man didn't respond, instead he was emitting weird choking sounds, heart not beating the right way. Even before his self isolation, Tae didn't have too many experiences with mortals than casually knowing them and drinking from them, he knows they are fragile, but he doesn't study or get interested like Jimin, he didn't know what was happening. Was this man having a heart attack? A stroke? What should he do? He doesn't know the symptoms of their diseases... Jimin would know... But now Taehyung was all alone and half of his mind was focused on his aching skin that seemed to be melting into the sun itself. With his trembling hand Tae reached to his phone in his hoodie's pocket, already dialing.

"What is your emergency?" A voice came from the other side.

"H-hello... Good morning... I..." He stammered. "My neighbor passed out in... infront of his house. He is not ok. He is old."

"Noted. Please calm down. Can you tell me your address so I can send an ambulance?"

"Sure..." Tae recited the address he only uses to purchase things on the internet. "It's a big white house, with a big porch."

"An ambulance is already on it's way."

"Thanks..."

Taehyung tried to sigh in relieve, but now he couldn't stop thinking about his own bad situation. The porch was providing shadow for him to hide, but for how much time? And when the paramedics would come and see him like that, what would they do? He didn't have the strength to run back home, the morning sun is not so strong, but exposing himself to it's light twice is suicide. And he couldn't enter the neighbor's house, there was no one to ask permission to. There wasn't no one to ask for help. He was going to die alone. When Jimin arrived from his date all he would be able to find would be Taehyung's ashes... Nothing more...

"Jiminie..." Tae was crying now, dialing the only number registered in his contact list.

Just one second - literally - later his friend's voice greeted him.

"Yes?" Jimin's voice came like a whisper, a happy, satisfied smile audible in it.

"Jimin? Are you coming home?" Tae tried to sound calm, so he wouldn't ruin everything with Jimin date experience and all, but his voice betrayed him, showing nothing but the fear he was feeling. He just didn't want to bother.

"Tae, what's wrong?" Jimin mirrored his feelings now. Tae breathed once, the air burning inside, and then practically vomited the words of nervousness. "I'm outside, on our neighbour's porch. I can't go back inside... The sun will reach me, Jimin. I don't know what to do." He was panicking, the world around him was spinning, getting him overwhelmed.

"Keep on where there are shadows no matter what. I'll be there soon. Don't cry ok?" Saying to him not to cry had the exact opposite effect. Once again, vampire's tear ducts are basically dry - especially after almost being charred, their bodies retain all possible liquid - but the other symptoms of crying happen, and it can be quite dramatic from the outside, as if they were faking it. But the sobs and the lump in Taehyung's throat were very real.

"Jimin?" He called,he could hear Jimin and another voice on the other end of the phone, but he wasn't paying attention, he couldn't, instead his eyes fixed on the line of the sun on the wall, approaching him and the faint neighbor. "Don't leave me alone..."

"Just go, your friend needs you."   Tae looked around, searching for a place to hide, finding nothing but the old man's rocking chair, it wouldn't do much to cover him from the sun, but was his only option. He crawled across the floor to the chair, knocking it over with a loud sound of wood hitting wood, and laid curled up like a ball behind it.

"Jiminie?" Tae voice sounded petrified, he really was. After decades not stepping out  the house, the very first time was at minimum trumatic. "Yeah? I'm here."

"Can we stay on the call till you get here?"

Taehyung was terrified. They both were. If he was going to die he didn't want to be alone. He was feeling so pathetic.

"Of course, my soulmate." Jimin said, as soft as he could. "I'll be there in no time tho, so it'll be a short call. Don't worry."

"Please, drive safe." Tae whispered.

Jimin laughed, not a really fun laugh.

"I always drive safe, Taehyung, safety first."

"Liar." Tae pouted.

"Well, how can I save you if I don't pierce some red lights on this beautiful not so busy morning?" Jimin questioned, trying to bring some humor to the conversation.

Taehyung sighed, feeling the heat of the sunlight approaching him.

"You won't be able to save me if you get in a crash... How much time?"

"One minute." Jimin was tense.

"Ok."

Coming from the end of the street, around the corner, the ambulance with the siren on approached and stopped in front of the house. Two people in paramedic uniforms ran towards the porch with their equipment, heading straight for the old man lying by the door. Tae hugged his legs against his chest to get smaller, hoping they wouldn't' see him hiding behind the chair and just do their saving people thing. "Oh my god! There's another person here!" The paramedic woman said in horror, probably shocked by Taehyung's very burned skin. "Sir are you ok? Can you hear me?"

Tae whined. What if they try to put him in the light?

Before the woman could even get close to him, another high-speed car came from the end of the street, screeching, and instead of stopping beside the curb, like the ambulance, the sports car driver climbed onto the sidewalk parking on the neighbor's grass. Jimin came out of the car covered by a big black umbrella, stride and the jaw tight. "Ignore our presence and continue your work helping the old man. You won't remember us as soon as we leave." Jimin ordered, his eyes shining colorful shades as the paramedics got hypnotized and obeyed him.

Half a second later he was beside Taehyung, replacing the chair, covering his friend with a long black coat.

"Taehyung... I'm here."

"Jiminie... You came."

"Of course." He helped Tae to sit up. "Can you get up?"

Tae nodded and with Jimin's help he got on his feet. In silence they both walked below the umbrella to the car, and then Jimin drove back to their underground garage a few meters ahead. If time seemed to run desperately fast before, now it has stopped completely, leaving everything in slow motion and numb. As the large door behind them slowly closed they were swallowed by the darkness of the garage, their silhouettes static and tense, the only sound being soft aching whines. Gradually Taehyung's senses returned, he became aware of his surroundings, the other cars parked in a row, the light from the corridor coming through the door's frosted glass, the scratching of Yeontan on the other side waiting for them, the smell of a mortal someone who he did not know impregnating the whole car they were in... especially in the passenger seat he was in. He hadn't died in ashes, burned by the sun in a minute or less, and he didn't know what to feel about it, whether it was relief or awe.

After a long time Jimin sighed and left the car, one second later he was beside the other to help him. None o f them talked anything as both of them got up to the second floor, or while the bathtub filled with water and music was placed in the background to fill the silence.

"Take care as you wash that, and drink..." Jimin whispered, seating beside the tube as Tae got in, holding out a pack of blood to his friend.

Tea hissed as the water touched this burned skin, aches staying on its surface.

"Thanks." He took the pack, his voice little. Another long silence. "Aren't you going to ask what I was doing outside?"

"It hasn't even crossed my mind yet, to be honest. I was too worried about you..." Jimin pouted, resting his head at the side of the bath, facing the ceiling. "Thinking about it tho, is pretty obvious... Just be careful next time you help someone, please."

"I'm not good at it like you." Tae took a sip slowly, he was waiting to be scolded by Jimin, for some reason. "Sorry to make you come earlier, this way... I didn't mean to screw your date..."

It made Jimin smile. "You are the most important and constant thing in my life Taehyungie." He took a deep, full of emotions, breath. "And you didn't screw anything, Y/N was super understanding even if she was just half awake, and I can just talk to her later and make things out. She knows you are everything to me."

Tae just humed.

"How does she know I'm everything to you?"

"I told her. Silly"

"Cool." Tae's lips formed a tin timid smile, that's a nice thing to hear after such a stressful experience after all. "Hum... Can you wash my back? I can't reach it..."

Jimin knelt beside the tube and took a wet towel, taking all care to not put too much strength on his hands as he rubs Tae's injured skin. Almost like magic - almost - the water made the blisters to dismantle, releasing more ash on the surface, yet it would take a lot longer to heal properly. The better was just feeding and sleeping now, at least que floor was full of empty packs, perhaps as much as a healthy vampire should have taken in two months.Taehyung hissed when a specific one stung more when it burst.

"I feel like hibernating." He yawned.

"You should. Take all the rest you need." Jimin agreed, reaching for the hand shower, to also wash Tae's hair.

Tae closed his eyes as the water ran down his face.

"Will you stay close... taking care of me?" He asked in a small voice.

"Of course. We are a clan, we take care of each other hibernating bodies." Jimin joked.

And Tae laughed. What a rare, beautiful sound.

"A clan of two." ________________________________________________________________

You were waking yourself up with strong coffee in the kitchen, in pajamas - not that you slept in them, right, but it was your usual home clothes -, considering if you should spend energie making pancakes or just go back to bed and procrastinate to do all the house chores and study, and just daydream about last night instead, soon it would be lunch anyways... Your roommate, on the contrary, was in full swing, walking around with the vacuum. All her energy was draining yours, all you wanted to do was lie down and stare out the window with silly smiles gracing your face.

You drank all of your coffee at once before opening the latest rental listings you favored - all in the same region you already live in, or reasonably close to college. None of them make your heart warm as your current home, but you can't do anything about it, you need an apartment you can rent.

"Baby Y/N, There's a package for you down stairs." Lydia entered the kitchen.

"For me? I didn't order anything." You crooked your head in confusion.

She disappeared for a second on the corridor, then got back.

"I'm pretty sure it is for you... I'll get it for you." She smiled.

"Thank you, Lydia." You waved at her, calling her by the name she chose to herself inspired by the Beetlejuice movie.

Not wanting to be a vegetable all day, you got on your feet to wash your mug and then start your day properly. You have laundry to do, tons of assignments to catch up, and a new home to find. Maybe you should search for tiny student studios, you could live in just a claustrophobic room and bathroom for sure...

"The delivery guy was super cute. He told me it's a surprise someone sent you, that's why you didn't know about it."

"What the heck..." You laughed, feeling your heart skipping a bit.

Lydia placed a brown paper bag on the counter, clipped to the top of the package was a handwritten note in a letter you don't know, probably from someone at the establishment who sent it. You picked it, and as you started to read, a smile grew on your lips.

I'm still sorry we didn't have breakfast together, to make up for it I sent this little treat, I hope you like it, Sweetheart. - Jimin.

"No way, that's so sweet." Your roommate commented over your shoulder, where she read the note too, taking advantage of being much taller than you. You opened the package to find a beautiful slice of cake, it looked delicious. Apparently Jimin found the ultimate path to your heart. The part of you that like to be spoiled was dancing in happiness.

"You didn't tell me how the date went yesterday, but it must have been good..." She took the restaurant brochure from the bottom of the bag. It was an expensive establishment. "We did a lot of fun things..." You said with a smile with double meaning. "I'll eat this in my room! Bye!"

Said that you took the cake and ran back to your room on your tiptoes.You put it on the desk and took a selfie smiling beside it.

You: Thanx! <3 <3 <3

You sent the selfie and waited, unpacking the plastic fork that came with it, ready to taste. The reply, however, came faster than you expected.

Jimin: Can I call you now?

Could your heart burst even more? Instead of replying you called him already.

"Hey, sweetheart. Did you sleep well?" Jimin's sweet voice said.

"Like a baby. Thanks for the cake."

"Did you like it?" He was expectant.

"I don't know yet..." You were trying to open the plastic packaging with one hand, and failing miserably. You couldn't hold a self pity laugh to escape. "Just a sec."

You put your phone down and opened the cake packaging and taking a bite, a delicious bite. Still chewing you got the phone back at your ear.

"I like it." You decreed with your mouth full.

"Good." Jimin's voice dropped an octave, and it took him a while to continue. A very low music played in the background of the call. "You're not mad, are you? Because I ran out this morning..."

To be honest you were a little bitter, yes, at first when you woke up in the empty bed you didn't remember talking with Jimin earlier, the memory came to your mind just when you were brushing your theet minutes later, but because of the reason presented, and because Jimin didn't show signs of being a guy just interested in having sex with you and then disappearing right away, you pushed the feeling aside and gave the benefit of the doubt. He gave you cake!

"Not at all, Jimin." You smiled, so he could hear it in your tone. "How is your friend? What happened?"

"He got burnt... While trying to cook. Boiled oil." Jimin faltered. "He will be ok in two weeks."

You got a seat on your bed.

"Oh. It was bad then." You never had worse burns than sunburn for not using sunscreen, the kind that peel off for days afterwards, so you couldn't even imagine. "Tell him I wish him to get well soon."

"I'll tell him. He is a baby when he's not well. I already took two week out of work so I can take care of him properly."

"Two weeks?" You tried not to pout. You wouldn't see him at work for two weeks, if you would see him at all.

"Or until he tells me he needs me." Jimin didn't notice your swing of humor. "So I was wondering, since I won't be seeing you at work... What do you think about me picking you up at the end of your shift to take you home? So we see each other as usual and you get home safely, and faster too."

You were not expecting this. "Jimin, you don't need to... No need for you to wake up late at night because of me..."

"I've traded the day for the night for centuries now, sweetheart." He laughed "I won't be sleeping at this time, it won't cost me anything to pick you up. On the other hand, I'll be able to see you."

If before you were a little bitter, now you were just sweet.

"We can also hang out another time... If you're free." You suggested. "Is that proposal to meet your dog still standing?"

"Of course, sweetheart. We can appoint that."

"Nice..." You look around, searching for something to keep the conversation up. You were not fast enough..

"I'll turn off. Ok?" Jimin said.

"Sure. I have tons of clothes to fold..." You let a self mockery laugh out. "Till soon."

"Bye bye."

He was gone. And you were alone with your expectations and a piece of cake. Still, your whole mind was full of Jimin to think of, so you fought your will to spend the day in bed after a long and hectic week, and a long and fun night, and got up to do your chores, putting on the headset and playing on the list of lively songs to tidy up the house. Is a super fun playlist you have, would it be nice to send it to Jimin? Maybe you should make a playlist for him... Yeah it would be nice. ________________________________________________________________

Jimin turned off the phone and looked at Taehyung's sleeping face. After the bath, he made his friend drink some more packs before putting him to bed, and only after he promised once again not to leave Taehyung alone, that he finally closed his eyes and let the deep sleep take him. Hibernation is to make the vampire stronger, so that they can heal from wounds or even emotional trauma, to rest fully as almost no other creature on earth can... But it is also the most vulnerable moment for them too, so great clans have great dungeons very well kept. Now, these two young vampires only have each other.

Tae's skin was full of round spots the color of recent burns, a pale pink, not pretty, even if the boy himself is the most beautiful creature. His eyebrows were still tense, as if he's still afraid. "I'll be here when you wake up, silly." Jimin massaged the center of his forehead lightly, trying to make him relax, and brushing his hair out of his face. "I have nowhere to go."

At the very beginning, Jimin was alone, since his first memory. All by himself he lived as a wanderer. Until that man came and offered to take care of him, turning him into an immortal, in return all Jimin needed to do was call him a master and be loyal. There were others besides him, a girl very much like the master, a concun lady, a tall woman with long hair, a man with a serious face. The master called everyone a family, each had his role, as a joke, Jimin was the eldest son... Still, he was still alone. He never bonded with any of them, even if he tried.

One day he just walked away, all by himself, as a wanderer. The world was beautiful to see, to know about, to experience, even if all alone he would be happy living like this. He traveled and visited places he didn't even know existed, even after becoming a vampire the world was too small for him at first. Then he started to expand this world. Decades after his emancipation he met Taehyung on a train. The boy was a newly transformed vampire, lost, not knowing what to do or where to go, scared with all things that happened to him without warning. Unlike Jimin, who was a planned transformation, Taehyung had been an accident by a very inexperienced and foolish vampire, who didn't even see that his prey was not dead when he ran away. He was dealing with everything alone.

Jimin offered to take care of him, in return Taehyung should be his friend. They were the cure for each other's loneliness, and nothing in the world is more important than that.

So, for hours, lying next to his sleeping friend, Jimin stayed, and stayed. He would move from there only when the bloodthirsty sink in - or when Yeontan needed food etc. Never getting too far from Tae's room. ________________________________________________________________

Two days went by till Jimin felt his throat dry and stomach hurting and got down to the kitchen. The fridge was empty, literally, all packs ended after the incident. "I need to get more..." Jimin muttered to himself. "Dog food and snacks are also running out... And I could buy some... I'll make a list."

He pulled out a stool and sat down at the kitchen island, and opened his notes. Messages of yours popped up on the screen. You: hey. I wanted to make a dad joke.

You: about being tired

You: cuz im tired af

You: but im toooooo tired to think

You: [image.jpg]

Jimin opened the image of you with a sleepy face hidden by your hair and the hood of your hoodie, while you turns over a can of energy drink in a coffee cup. It was a cute fun photo. Since your date you both have been texting each other nonstop, as soon as you are awake and until you go to bed, your fun photos and not so fun jokes making him feel less lonely or bored or sad or weird. Jimin: I don't think this mixture is very healthy.

You: probably. but i didnt sleep.

You: tday is my shif!!!

You: i need to stay up :(

You: [image.jpg]

A photo of you in dramatic despair.

Jimin: I'll pick you up. Ok?

He put the phone down and stretched. Jimin is used to interacting with people every day, and having Taehyung when he gets home, and the last few days without that was enough for him to feel the change and be uncomfortable with it. He is a very friendly individual who needs other's presence, anything he has to do at home is too boring when there's no one to appreciate it. He likes to dress up stylishly to just go out to walk, just to feel handsome and gorgeous. Now he was bored. Still the idea of going out, letting Taehyung alone and unprotected, even for five minutes, was eating him inside.

You: r u sure?

You: you don't need

You: i said dat already.

Jimin sighed.

Jimin: Yes. I'm sure.

Jimin: I want to see you.

And he needed to get blood too. All he wanted you to say was something to motivate him to get out of house, or else he would be in this deadlock, not knowing what to do.

You: i want to see you too

That will do. Jimin's smile got wider.

Jimin: Then there's no reason to not give you a ride today. See you later, sweetheart.

He left the conversation with you and went to another whose contact was without a name or photo to identify. Jimin: I'm going to pick up my orders today. Please get everything ready.

As usual no answer. Jimin got back at writing down his “grocery” list, consisting of things for dogs, personal hygiene and cleaning products. ________________________________________________________________

Jimin finished dressing and looked in the mirror, beautiful as usual, but not feeling as good as always. He checked all the windows and doors in the house, to make sure they were tightly closed, emphasizing those in Tae's room. He checked if there was water and food for the doggie, and replaced the pee mat with a new one. Everything was in order, but he still felt anxious when he kissed his sleeping friend's forehead before leaving the house. "I'll be back soon... I'll just pick us some food." He whispered, feeling bad for half lying to Taehyung, even if he was unconscious, and feeling weird  about the idea of admitting he was leaving to also see you.

He left, letting the room's door open so Yeontan could enter freely, and went to the garage. He still hadn't taken the time to clean up the ashes from the burnt skin that was left in the seats of the car he was using, so he passed by it, choosing another one, a model not so sporty, but equally expensive.

The streets were silent and empty, as the clock showed it was three in the morning. The only real movement he saw was of bars and clubs, as he crossed the center of the city. One or another homeless man lying under a marquee, with his old blanket and cardboard protection. In other circumstances he would stop and interact. He tried to focus only on the music playing on his phone, his favorite among those on the playlist you sent him.

Jimin finally arrived at his destination, parking in a vacant spot in a practically empty parking lot, in front of a private hospital. He wore a shoulder bag from the back seat of the car, and bypassing the front door of the emergency area, he entered through an exclusive entrance for employees. No one would see him or notice his presence. Having done this hundreds of times and knowing the way by his hand, Jimin guided himself through corridors all the same and antiseptic until he reached a pair of doors with a "Blood Bank" sign on them. "Good night. I have an appointment." He politely said to the nurse at the front desk. "Is Seokjin here?"

"Good night. Yeah, is his shift today." She held out a key to him, sleepily looking up. She was a human, but she knew what he was and why he was there for.

"Thanks." He went through the corridor behind her, passed by the lab and the blood donation collection room, and called the elevator at the end. The only option to go was the underground. Six seconds and he was in a very clean room with a too white illumination. There was no one to be seen beside metallic cabinets and refrigerators, and also an empty metal table.

Jimin waited.

From a heavy metallic door came a man. A really handsome and gracious vampire in resident doctor uniform. As he saw Jimin an enormous charming smile spread on his face.

"Oh, you are early. I was  finishing to separate your order." He sang.

"Hi, Jin. Anything special today?" Jimin put his bag on the table, and his hands on his pockets.

Jin clearly noticed his bad mood and tension.

"Not really, there's a lot of O+ and some A+. We haven't had many different donations this past week."  Jin cruzou os braços. "But as usual I kept the ones with the most delicious smell for you, the very healthy ones. As you and Taehyung are picky eaters."

"That's why I only negotiate with you."

Jin smirked and left the room with the bag, back through the same door. He used to help young vampires, teaching them how to hunt properly, as the centuries passed he started his little business of blood selling, good origin, discreet and without victims. Despite working directly with customers at the local point, his scheme is huge, practically a monopoly.

Jimin looked at his fancy wristwatch, you would be out of your shift in a little bit more of half an hour, and he should stop by the grocery store in the way.

Jin came back with the bag obviously full now.

"Everything is sealed and refrigerated but put in the fridge as soon as possible." He said as always. "And send my kisses to Tae, he doesn't respond to my messages for days now. Sometimes I have time to play with him."

Jimin considered telling Jin about Tae's condition, but opted for not doing it. This issue was something for the two of them to deal, and only them.

"I'll tell him. He loves playing with you on call."

Jin noticed Jimin's hesitation.

"I know. Bye." He didn't comment anything about tho.

"Bye, Jin. ________________________________________________________________

You like your job, you really do. Is something you feel needed as you do it, powerfull, helpful. Is something you believe in. But now, after a whole day deprived of sleep, full of stress on college, not finding somewhere to live next month, and mostly, after the last call - a situation you want to forget - you are destroyed, Crying pathetically in the bathroom was the most coherent thing you could do. You just hoped the mental breakdown would come in a place other than the office bathroom, and preferably it would be at home, where you could cry yourself to sleep in your flower pajamas, hugging your stuffed dolphin.

You stopped to wash your face and tried to breathe calmly. It wasn't the end of the world, you can handle this. Your supervisor already released you a few minutes earlier - because you were no longer in a position to work - so all you had to do was gather your stuff and wait for Jimin to pick you up.

As usual, your heart accelerated just thinking about seeing him again, especially now that you are a thing, this feeling compared to anxiety and stress is just divine. You: i'll wait at the lobby.

You: was released earlier today

You threw some notebooks and pens into your backpack and locked your personal locker before checking your belongings again - be careful is never too much - and went down the hall to the stairs. Jimin: No need to wait. I'm already here.

You almost jumped the last stair steps to the ground floor, passed by the concierge's empty space behind the counter, and before running out, checked through the glassy door if you could see Jimin or his car. At first you didn't find him, and was about to text him again, but then he lowered the window glass and you can see him in another car, different from the other night. You gaped at him - you're a very impressionable countryside girl - and got into the passenger seat.

"Good night, handsome." You said, putting your heavy backpack on the floor between your feet.

"Good night, sweetheart." He lost no time and reached to peck you in the lips, slightly holding you chin with his fingertips. The butterflies in your stomach were crazy. He studied your face closely. "You look dejected, did something happen?"

His care made you smile.

"Stressful day, lot of little things. It got hard on me today, but just it." You shrugged, an amused tone in your tired voice.

"Want to talk about it?" He cupped your face with both hands. You did the same to him.

"Honestly I want to sleep." You giggled. "What about you? You don't look the best either."

He sighed. Your care made him happy too.

"Just feeling lonely and stressed too." He licked his lips, thinking what he could or could not say. "I don't like to be trapped at home. I need to take care of Tae, but he is...  not well to make me company, so I'll be lonely till he is ok."

You looked confused but tried to understand, choosing not to ask any more questions. Jimin didn't quite explain what happened to his friend, but it seemed like something serious, and if he didn't want to give you details, you wouldn't insist. "That's sad. I hope he is ok soon." You timidly pecked him, hoping this would make him feel better.

It worked. With a grin Jimin pulled away and started the engine.

"There is something I can do?" You asked, still wanting just to be sweet to him.

Jimin made thinking pout, and you wanted to take a picture of it, not fast enough.

"Spending time with me would be awesome." He answered, making you hum. Your routine is so busy and hectic that having time to see your friends is always a miracle, because you either have work and college stuff or you just want to sleep. You started to count on your fingers what your next break is so you can hang out with him. He continued, however, already having his own idea. "Why don't you come to my place to sleep with me?"

Your chin dropped, but it wasn't what you first thought.

"You want to sleep and I want company. If we cuddle it will be the best combination of our necessities being solved." He proudly smiled.

A soft smile fell into your face as you melted. Life is too short to deny cuddles with the guy you like on what you’ll now call your second date.

"Sure."

"Wait, really?" He looked at you with round happy eyes.

"Yeah. Of course. Just borrow me a pijama or something."

To get out of the way of your place he turned the wheel abruptly to enter a return that he was going to miss one second later, crossing all the lanes of the empty avenue. For a second you got startled but then you were giggling at how excited he was at the idea of taking you home. Well, you were excited to take him home too, nothing more fair. As you moved away from the city center, to more noble areas, full of beautiful houses and buildings, you started to expect that any one of them would be JImin's house, but he just kept driving, until you were no longer exactly in the city, and some mansions started to appear in the landscape. Looking at these huge, clearly expensive homes, you wondered how many bathrooms each has. Jimin, on the other hand, was considering what to do to feed you and make you comfortable, slightly freaking out because there's nothing to eat either in the fridge or in the cupboards other than a box of cereal he bought to win a collectible gift. Did he need to do something to make you feel more comfortable? He never received visits at home... "I need to tell my roommate and my mom that I'm not spending the night at home..." You murmured to yourself.

"Your mom too?" Jimin frowned. "Doesn't she live far away or something?"

You smirked looking at your phone.

"Our city is four hours from here, but I always ley her know where I am. So she is not worried. Besides, we talk all the time anyway..." "Oh." He thought about it. "You two are good friends."

You nodded.

"In the way of moms and daughters." You noticed the car was slowing down.

"Can I send her a photo of yours? Just so she knows your face?"

"Women have to be careful, right?" He commented, thinking that it is useful to know the face of the man that your daughter is seeing if something bad happens. He read a lot of things about it on twitter, and being a vampire himself he knows how bad things can happen too.

"Yep." You made a face. "But I want her to see how hot you are. She asked for a picture before but I didn't have a good one."

Jimin was between blushing and smirking. But vampires can't blush because the blood doesn't circulate, so you didn't see that reaction, just the burning look he gave you from head to toe. The butterflies in your stomach exploded and died. Before you could take the picture you noticed that you were now parking at a garage, and your chin dropped  at the sigh of six more cars - seven in total, counting the one you guys were inside. The garage itself was bigger than the apartment you currently live in. Just the idea of so much money intimidates you a little.

"Take a selfie, then." Jimin passed an arm around your waist and rested his chin on your shoulder.

"Ok." You did as said, the flash illuminating the inside of the car. "You are also photogenic."

"And you are beautiful." He looked at the photo with a cute smile. "Send it to me too. Come."

He left the car and you followed him closely behind, he carrying your backpack for you. He took off his shoes to get in, and so did you, wearing the pair of cloth slippers he offered you. You grabbed the sleeve of the black blouse he was wearing, despite the low light available looking at the whole house over his shoulder, the hallway, the living room, the stairs, everything huge and spacious, and you noticed too, with a very masculine yet artistic decoration. Definitely for you, only two people living in this whole space is strange. In your family you are in six occupying a much smaller house. Whas that a grand piano?

"It's a nice place." You thought you should say something. "Cool design."

"Tae is responsible for that. He's a very visual person."

"I see."

He took you to the second floor, straight to his room. He dropped your thing on an armchair and looked around, expectantly. It was cute, there were some plants and drawing like you sometimes see him doing at work, an ukulele on the wall... It was as you could imagine his room would be.

"I don't have a clue of how to make you feel comfortable... What should I do?" He was honest.

You smiled sweetly and took his hand on yours, and he knew if he had a beating heart it would have stumbled at the sigh.

"I'm ok. Comfy clothes to change would be nice tho."

He kissed your forehead with a grin.

"I can manage that." And he measured you from head to toe again, now really to get a sense of the size of the clothes he needed to get you. And then left through the pair of the closet's doors.

As you waited you kept looking around and took a seat on the king sized bed, you were tired after all, feeling your eyes heavy and feet hurting.

"Jimin where is the bathroom?" You barely articulated the words.

"What?" Jimin came back with some clothing in hand.

"Bathroom..."

He gave you a fondly look and deposited his clothes - a t-shirt slightly bigger than you and a soft fabric shorts that seemed to fit you - on your lap.

"Next door on the left, near the stairs to the attic." "Thanks." You picked the clothes and your toiletry necessaire and crawled out into the hall.

On the way there was only one door on the right side of the hall, which you hadn't noticed the first time you passed it. A door ajar with an ambar lamp light coming from inside. Without thinking too much you stopped to look and saw in a bed who you imagined to be the friend, Taehyung, sleeping in the center of another big bed. He looked like those illustrations of Snow White in the crystal coffin, beautiful, flawless, but pale as a corpse, the face emotionless. He looked so unreal, felt like if you touched him he would vanish away like a dream. You don't know how long you were looking at him, a few meters away, but you only managed to look away when your heartbeat became too loud in your ears. And only then did you realize that you had walked a few steps towards him. You hurried to the toilet and closed the door behind you as if something was chasing you. Looking in the mirror, you couldn't name what this feeling was. More than quickly and still shaking you changed, washed your face and brushed your teeth, and to go back to Jimin's room you were with his head down. He was already in bed waiting for you in a pair of silk pajamas, and frowned when you walked in. "Is something wrong?"

"Nope." You denied it too quickly, embarrassed to say something like 'I saw your sleeping friend in the other room and for some reason it made me nervous'. Then you smiled shyly and climbed into the bed. "Excuse me."

Jimin interpreted your fast heartbeat as shyness and pulled you close as soon he could reach you. You snuggled into him too, and your eyes felt heavy once again, the smell of him calming and slowing you down. Before you finished settling into a comfortable position you were asleep. ______________________________________________________________

Then you had your cute cheesy morning with Jimin, as you wanted. He was with his eyes open when before you, holding you tight as he scowled through his phone behind your head. You looked up and the first thing you thought about was how unfair life is. In addition to the slightly messy hair, Jimin was beautiful as always, without the sleepy face or puffy eyes of someone who just woke up, it gave you a mixture of emotions of ingenuity and admiration. You sure looked like a withered dumpling.

"Goomorning."  You murmured against him. "What are you doing?"

"We have no food, neither me or Tae cook, so I'm ordering you breakfast. Did you sleep well?" He kissed your nose, as he added croassaints to his order - he couldn't let you enter the kitchen and see all the literally empty cabinets, the only exception being a very suspicious bag, full of blood bags, inside the fridge, that he put there yesterday without you noticing, using his superhuman speed.

"Babier than yesterday." You reached for your cell phone too. "Shit, I have a seminar about neuro-physiology in fifty minutes... Where's a bus stop nearby?"

Jimin looked at you confused, for not understanding the reason for your question right away and then for having no idea what to answer. He doesn't take a lot of buses to know where they pass. "Don't worry about it, I can call you a car. And so it's time for you to eat without haste." As much as you enjoy being pampered and cared for, you are the type of person who feels guilty when others do it in excess, especially when they spend money on you. And you're starting to feel that way with Jimin. On the one hand you want to accept everything he may have to offer since technically you have no reason to deny it, but on the other hand your paranoid mind can think of several uncomfortable reasons. Your insecurities also arise to say that at some point a handsome, rich guy with two degrees like Jimin will eventually be bored with you, a poor, broken, screwed to finish your first graduation, so why not enjoy it while it lasts? Damn, that also makes you very guilty... That's why you only have poor and fucked up friends like you. Jimin raised his eyebrows at you, and then you realized that you hadn't answered anything yet, and just debated the subject a lot inside your own head. "Ah... Ok. Thanks." You stuttered. Your brain just wasn't about to form full phrases.

He holds you tighter.

"Don't be shy. You are keeping me company, the minimum is to guarantee your transport." He took your face in one hand and kissed you slowly, lazily, and you returned it with a sigh. With his lips still on yours, he whispered in a hoarse voice that made you shiver. "And if I don't treat you well, you won't be back... And I want you to..."

You were about to answer the flirt, but a sharp bark interrupted you.

"Puppy!" You sang, rolling to the edge of the bed to see a little dog with pretty expressive eyebrows barking and jumping beside it.  By the power of all the cute things in the world you spoke in baby voice. "Own... cute. Hi hi, buddie." "Come here, Tannie." Jimin whistled.

The puppy got rid of your  anxious for pets hands and ran to the other side of the bed, and appeared a second later, jumping onto the bed and over Jimin. You rolled back, also leaning on Jimin to look the other way. "Do you have a ladder for him to climb on the bed?" Jimin smiled with your enthusiasm about it. "The whole house is adapted to be accessible to his little tiny legs." He said. You put your hands on your chest. "Oh, no. My heart." Jimin sat up to peck you again before getting up, stretching slightly. "He wants to eat, otherwise he wouldn't be here. Just a sec." He picked up the dog and left.

You pouted for not playing anymore, but you understand, you were hungry too, and you had to get up and get ready soon to go to college, or else you would get late. You jumped out of bed, got your things and barefoot even ran to the bathroom. The door to the other room was now closed, yet you felt a shadow of the feeling of the night before and went by it as quickly as possible, without looking in the direction. After that, you took a quick shower, ended up borrowing a t-shirt from JImin, because to wear the same shirt from the previous day was out of the question, you had a great brunch from a expensive bakery that you had never heard of, played a little - too little - more with Yeontan, and went to college by car, something totally new to you. The rest of the day you were chased by the desire to see Jimin again, to go back to his house and stay there, in the bubble of good things he gives you, by the feeling that you somehow don't deserve it, and by the almost scary feeling  that you felt when you saw a complete stranger in his sleep.

Notes: I said I would update it before 2021! HAHAHA Sorry it took a whole life! IF YOU WANT TO BE ADD TO THE TAG LIST LET ME KNOW. FEEDBAKC IS GOOD TOO. ____________________________________________________________

Tag list: @ireallylikeyourwriting @angrygardenerr​ @depressed-dude20 @milktaetae95 @tangledsparkles​  @wlalsrkfla​ @minikolima​ @beach-bitch-bitch-beach​ @midiplier

[cherripeach]

Chapter 2

Little Match Maker

Summary: Your life motto is "I have the power of god and anime on my side, don't mess with me," and you stand by that with your life. No human, magician, or random creature could ever stop your firm belief in it. 

However, getting transported to this world that seemed to turn your already bad luck worse was not what you wanted to be in your life story, but you made the most of it.Making friends, enemies, and disasters, you were in your prime in this world, and so you decided to help as many people as you could flourish, at least what you believed to be.

Prologue 3-5: I wanna take a nap

Chapter Summary: Was everyone in this school an evil bratty child or was it just you?

Warnings: jokes about death(I think) and committing crimes and curse words, some sex jokes (but not the bad ones; middle school boys comments and stuff)

Words: 3.4k

Relationships: Pending twst x reader

Two boys-you assumed-were chasing after the cat, and while neither of them seemed to be very athletic,  the cat really was not either. The cat kept bumping into its own fire and having to turn away, or trying to blast fire at the two chasing him and almost tripping both himself and the other two boys. The cat did end up getting chased into a corner after almost tripping the two boys, and the smaller of the two raised up a pen or pencil looking object and screamed the words “Off with your head.” The only thing that passed through your mind was that you need to get out of here.

After the boy screamed, a red light appeared from the top of the pen and was soon directed straight toward the cat. The cat horror-struck backed up as far as he could and even climbed a few inches up the wall to move away from the beam of light heading toward it. The beam smacked the cat into the wall and caused him to fall from his position onto his butt and falter in any movement. Once the light cleared, there was an obvious difference in the cat’s appearance. A red and white collar had shown up around his neck, and the cat still dazed to notice it screamed out, “Nughab! The heck is this thing?”

You mumbled out, “Kinky…”

“Law of the Queen of Hearts Number 23: ‘One shall never bring a cat into a festival.’ You being a cat means you’ve broken the rule. I shall have you leave at once,” Here we have another member of the crowd who also thought the creature was a cat, but apparently, this disappointed child also has the numbers of the rules for something memorized, and that threw you off. He straightened himself once he noticed that the cat was caught within the collar and put his pen away in his coat that you just noticed everyone was wearing.

You surveyed yourself to see what you were wearing and realized that it was the same thing, only leading your mind to one conclusion: “This has to be some kind of cult…”  you mumbled the phrase so that anyone close by could not question your thought process, but this school and world just happened to get worse and weirder the more you looked around.

“...I'ma burn this collar right up and... ehhh I can’t use my fire!” You caught the rest of the cat’s declaration, and both him and you were in absolute awe for what the collar had apparently accomplished.

“Hmph!” The disappointed child straightened his back even more and tilted his face up toward the ceiling a little, “You won’t be using any magic until I remove the collar. Just like an ordinary cat”.

“Whh-what? I’m not some pet!” The cat was having none of it. He was clawing at the collar on his neck and pulling it as much as he could just sitting in place next to the wall in his time out corner.

“Don’t worry, I’d never keep a pet like you,” the kid really just can’t help himself can he, “I’ll take it off anyway when you get thrown out.” He turned away from the cat and began to walk back to the center of the room where the sus headmaster in the top hat who for a weird second kinda reminded you of Willy Wonka stood and fumed over the past events.

Once the kid began walking, the other male chasing the cat spoke up, “Wow, as wonderful as ever. Any and all magic gets sealed by your Unique Magic, Riddle,” the male even threw his arms out to match his display of amazement only to pull them pack in a second later to place one hand on his chin while the other held his elbow to his chest to allow the male to mutter some words to himself. The taller male then pivoted around and sauntered to follow the smaller male. Both of them held this formal air covered in arrogance, and you wanted nothing to do with either of them.

The end of their conversation must have halted the top hat headmaster because he straightened himself up and glanced at the crowd only pausing his eye movement when they reached you. He kept both of his eyes on you while he strode over to your wall. Your day could apparently get worse.

“You must do something about this! It is your familiar!” the man made hand gestures to point at you in his furry, and you decided that maybe now is the time you should speak up.

“Sir, with all due respect, stop assuming things,” this man was worse than some teenagers and teachers you have met, so you shut him up, “Please tell me when I told you that he was my familiar,” your flicked your hands and continued, “whatever that is, because I am clearly lost.”

“So it’s not yours?” The man put his hand to his chin and closed his eyes either to calm himself down or figure everything out.

“Yep. Never seen it before it asked me to strip” Please let this man listen for once.

“Ah, um You did.” He cleared his throat, “Anyway, let's get it out of the school. We won't turn you into a stew. For I am gracious. Someone help, please.”

Several of the students crowded around the cat until finally two came out holding the cat who was yelling the entire time. He was a little too desperate to just stay in this school.

You broke off from the masked man’s lecture for a second until another voice joined the conversation.

“That’s not different from usual, is it?” You were lost as one of the taller of the five males from earlier spoke up. He was a half furry, but you had no clue what that was called again and you would rather not know.

“What?” The sun graced everyone with its presence, “Did nobody tell him about the ceremony?” His features turned into a sorrowful, sour look from his normal bright and upbeat feature; he even glanced around at all of the others who surrounded the masked male. You noticed that all of them were the five from earlier, not including the tablet.

“If you are going to complain, you should’ve done it yourself.” Another one of the tall gang of the five males spoke up; however, this one was the exact opposite of the half furry. He was incredibly put together and more breathtaking than anyone you have ever been in the same room in. The male must be the ruler of self care, even if he did give you arrogant vibes.

“Hmm. But I don’t really know anything about the guy.” The sun appeared guilty at his statement.

The people which you forgot about broke out into chatter about a man who was named something like ‘Malaus Drakconia’ or something like that, but you had no clue who he actually was or how to actually spell his name. All of the chatter stopped when another male, much smaller than most of the five males, strolled into the room through the double doors.

“I was correct. I thought he might come but ‘Malaus’ really didn't. It seems the invitation "never arrived" again.” The small male shook his head and sighed gently after entering the room.

The males in the middle all exchanged glances before two emerged: the two from before; the ones that were chasing after the cat.

“My deepest apologies. I promise, we didn't intend to exclude you.” The taller male closed his eyes and appeared apologetic.

“His aura makes it hard to approach him,” The shorter male just can’t stop himself.

You just had to butt in because no one was taking this seriously; you walked up from your wall to meet with the group in the middle, “Yo, dude that’s really not right. I mean what has he ever done wrong to ya?” Some teenagers just weren’t for you, and so you apologized to the new face that entered. “Tell the dude he has my condolences or something.”

The short new face just stared through your soul for the next couple of minutes, not blinking, but he finally did cough and twist away from you to face a group of students. “It’s not your fault child, but it is all right.” He took about three steps. “Members of the Diasomnia Dormitory can come with me… I hope this doesn't upset him.”

You in your brilliance decided to cup your mouth and scream out to the male leading the first group out, “Tell the dude that if he needs someone to talk to, I’m freeee! I hope he feels better!”

You even heard a slight chuckle from the group. And slowly all the groups left; most making eye contact with you, but you just carried on trying to think of how expensive the clothes you had one were; you rubbed the sleeve and found out that they were made of a fabric resembling silk.

Crowley, from what you remembered, sauntered up to you once the room was clear and both of you began to conjure in your head and make a conversation about what was going to happen:

“While I normally would have you leave this school, I do not know where you are from. Would you mind stepping up to the mirror to find out. There is no need to worry. The Dark Mirror will send you directly back from whence you came. Enter the Gate, and picture your home clearly in your mind... “ The male pushed you to the mirror again, and you thought of your home for as long as you could. You even heard him mumble words back and forth with the mirror when you were lost in thought.

However, a surprised noise came out of the man’s mouth and your mind buffered to process everything because both Crowley’s and the mirror’s gaze, if you would even call it that, were stuck on you.

“This is the first time this has ever happened since I became headmaster, what should I do?” You held contact with his weird mask eyes for as long as you could before you swerved your gaze to the mirror. “Are you positive that is where you are from? And that you have never heard of Twisted Wonderland, Night Raven College, anything?” He was moving closer to you at an extremely fast rate causing you to discreetly walk back to your wall.

“Yeah, sir, why would I ever lie about that? All of this seems like a weird movie for me.” You just could not believe how little this “headmaster” or whatever believed you.

“Our best option is to go to the Library and do some research. Come and join me.”  Headmaster Crowley twirled around making his cloak follow his mystical movements like some fairy or evil villain and started to make his way out of the room.

You just as confused as before followed after him, wondering if anything in this world would ever make sense.

~~~~

After around an hour of scouring through books in the odd library you were in earlier, you and the headmaster both decided to take a break.

“Can you please believe me now?” You slumped in a chair and groaned as loud as you could for as late as it was and even massaged your forehead, just hoping the man would get your point.

“You are correct. There is nothing about your hometown anywhere…” The male halted his speech and glanced back at the books, “There is also a possibility you are from another world.”

“What a nice thing to say to the tired, lost teenager,” and you stopped your speech to turn to him and point at him, “That you are in charge of.” You could not believe this man, and so you deflated while he carried on with his speech.

“Did you have anything on you when you came here?”

You just shook your head and rolled your eyes out of his view.

“Do you have any identification, like a license for a magic car, name on a shoe... You appear to be empty-handed?”

Another shake and a hand placed back on your forehead, and you noticed that he was probably going to go back into one of his speeches when he stood up taller and paused speaking for a second.

“This is concerning…..My graciousness is limitless! I am a model for all educators.We had better be on our way. Let's head to the dormitory. It may be a bit old but there is a certain charm to it.” Apparently, you were going to stay in a dormitory. Always a new surprise with this man.

And you two were off again through the halls and outside to your new stay in this world, but from how terrible the place was on the outside, this was not a luxury resort.

It was a four or more story house accompanied by a broken gate guarding the house, spider webs on all of the molded dead trees, broken shutters, even broken window, and to top it off just an overall haunted vibe to the place. This was where smart, sane people in life would avoid; this was just the trap for those characters in haunted movies, and you were just hoping to find a peaceful place to sleep in it tonight.

Crowley must have caught your staring at the dorm and ushered you inside, “Right, right. Please come inside.”

You can confidently say that the inside of the dorm was incredibly worse than the outside; the streets might be a better option if you took into account all of the health hazards in just this room alone.

Crowley did not seem to agree, “Staying here will at least keep you out of the rain.”

You hoped to interject, “Isn’t there somewhere el-”

“I'm going back to do more research. Make yourselves at home. Don't go wandering around the school! Goodbye!” This man was going to be the death of you or the reason you commit murder.

The lounge area was terrible: almost everything was broken and covered in dust, including the walls, ceiling, and floor. This area was not fit for a person to live in, and even if you tried your best it might never be.

But of course with your luck streak, Crowley saying that it would rain had to come true. “Are you kidding me now!” You threw your hands up in the air and then grabbed your head and tried not to commit arson.  “Nothing is ever going to go my way here, will it?”

Thunderstruck.

“At least you are on my side…” You gazed out the cracked window expecting it to break soon.

The thunderstorm caused more problems in your new dorm than it should have. The building would shake, as would the windows, and it allowed more damage than before. However, it appears that you are not alone with a caterwaul screech from behind you.

“Hyyyi! It’s really coming down!” And located on your broken couch was the cat from before. He was apparently a gift from someone, who probably was laughing at you, for you with how often he was popping up.

“What are you doing here?” You probed in an apathetic tone as you both deadpanned and glared at the cat.

“Gyhaha! You've got this stupid look on your face like a spider being attacked by a water gun! I'll have no trouble sneaking back into school. Come on, come on. If you think getting thrown out is gonna make me give up on getting in, you've got another thing coming!” The cat gabbed just as long as the headmaster.

Your day could somehow get worse, “Honestly, I don’t care. Please don’t cause problems or I’ll kick you out.”

“Hmph. You wouldn’t understand, but I’m a genius who is destined to be a great magician! I've been waiting for the Ebony Carriage to come pick me up. But... But...Hmph! The Dark Mirror just doesn't have an eye for this.So that's why I came here on my own. Not letting me in would be a loss for the world, humans just don't get it.” This cat might be annoying, but the sob story does make you pity him a little. That is if he started acting kinder and not like an annoying pretentious kid.

Now that you look at him, he resembled a small child disappointed that they did not get what they wanted, but you had sympathy for him. He never mentioned a family or had anyone who cared about around him. He seemed lonely. He wanted to get into school which honestly you don’t know why anyone would want to go to school, but people had their priorities.

A water droplet hit the cat, “Nyaa! So cold! The roof is leaking!”

Another drop.

“Fgyaa! It keeps coming! My adorable ear fire is gonna go out at this rate!” He pulled down his ears closer to his eyes and met your gaze.

“Fine, fine. I’ll get a bucket..” You uttered going to look around the building and ignored any more retorts the cat came up with.

You exited the living room and entered a hallway with a flight of stairs going up, and the rest of the house mirrored the living room and outside by how disgusting and hazardous it is. There was even a gigantic spider web spreading the top of the hallway, and the wallpaper was coming off and covered in mold.

“This is a great time for the first kill in a horror movie,” in this situation talking to yourself helped calm you down.

That is until three ghosts appear. All of different sizes and heights, and they look incredibly familiar like from a movie or something.

“Hihihihi…. Ihihihihi…We haven't had a guest in so long...I'm itching for some action. Ihihihihi!” Frozen in your spot, you watched as the ghosts chuckled and floated closer to you.

“Um, sorry, but like…. What?”  You became more disoriented as the day went on., and this topped the cake.

The cat was not on your wavelength and followed you out of the living room and into the hallway only to freeze at the sight of the three ghosts.  

“Gyaaaaaaaa!!!! G-g-g-g-ghoooooooooooootts!!” The cat bawled before he darted to cling onto your cloak.

The shortest ghost found amusement out of the cat’s reaction, “The people living here got scared of us and left…”

So did the largest ghost, “We’ve  been looking for more ghost pals. How about you guys?”

“Dudesss, chill down. We are not here to hurt you.” You tried to placate both the ghosts and the cat clinging onto you, but nothing ever went your way.

The cat leaped out from behind you looking as ferocious as a duckling, “Grim, the Great Magician, isn't scared of some ghosts!!!” and blew fire at the wall, “Punahhh ~ ~ ~ nnn!!”

The ghosts were having fun with the cat as the tall one asked “Where are you aiming?” and the largest one ran around the hallway area chanting “Over here, over here!”

Apparently Grim-the cat- was actually taking this seriously or did not like getting teased, “Shoot! Stop disappearing!” He continued to blast fire in all directions, most not even where the ghosts were.

You were not going to put up with his attitude so you made a deal with him wanting him to either shut up or do his job right, “Grim or whatever, either you get a move on and listen to me or I’ll tell the headmaster that you are here so that a red collar can be placed on you again and get you kicked out on the streets.”

“Ughhhh, buttt.. I’m a genius.” Grim ran around the area but paused as another ghost came up behind him. “Bunch of cowards ganging up on us! Fine,” Grim circled around to face you, “tell me where the ghosts are!”

“To your left!” Helping Grim would never be easy, but you somehow made it work.

“I hit it! Alright, let’s get them all outta here!” Like a child, he bounced over the fact that he did something right.

And like a child you could not wait to take a nap. 

~~~~~

um like exams such so there was that, but thanks for reading and I hope you have a nice day! Next chapter should be out around Monday or so.. maybe. 

[thelordofdarkreunion]

Magnificent Scoundrels- Seat of the Citadel

One last faction intro story, in which Shepard finally tells the Council what every Mass Effect player has ever wanted to tell them.  Unless someone specifically requests otherwise, or it is needed later, I won’t have any more “faction intros” as I’ve been writing them.  Next up is the meeting of the different governments.  As usual, I own none of these characters.  Enjoy the story.  

(A note on timelines: This takes place slightly more than halfway through the events of Mass Effect 2)

Mass Effect Galaxy

The Citadel, Capital of the Citadel Council

 The Citadel.  The beating heart of galactic power.  A glimmering jewel of elegance and culture.  An utterly massive 45 kilometer long space station, constructed by the long-extinct and highly advanced Prothean race, it was the capital of the aptly named Citadel Council, the galaxy spanning federation that ruled most of explored space.  

Discovered by the Asari in the human year 580 B.C.E., it had since remained the center of galactic power.  Open, airy, and utterly magnificent, it was a menagerie of elegant futuristic-style architecture and open water features.  Its beauty was unmatched by any other place in the galaxy; not the often conflicting human architecture of Earth, nor the sweeping elegance of Thessia, nor the simplistic, yet sturdy nature of the Turian or Salarian homeworlds.  Truly, it was a place unlike any other.  

Commander John Shepard sat in an elaborate waiting room at the base of the Citadel Tower, the large structure that housed the chambers of the Council itself.  Above was an artificial sky of brilliant blue.  Blossoming cherry trees were dotted around the large room in large pots, their blossoms adding to the Beautiful fountains trickled slowly, the sound of running water meant to calm and soothe visitors.  Shepard was anything but calm.  In fact, he was, to put it rather mildly, pissed off. 

The Council had done absolutely nothing in the two years while he had been dead.  He warned them of the coming of the genocidal synthetic race known as the Reapers, but, no, they apparently preferred the illusion of safety and calm instead of shoring up defenses and preparing for a war that was almost certainly coming.  Goddamn bureaucrats.  

Now, it was even worse.  There were nine new galaxies out there, and all of them had it together.  He shuddered as he remembered reading the briefings and documents provided by his various new colleagues.  Council will probably want to ignore that, too.  Goddamn bureaucrats, he repeated to himself.  And what did the Council do?  Invited them all over as if they were all newly discovered species.  As if they were peoples who newly discovered space flight, expected to be cowed by the might of the Council, instead of pan-galactic empires.   

Goddamn bureaucrats.

“John.  God to see you.”  Shepard looked up sharply as someone called his name.  He visibly relaxed when he saw who it was.  

Captain, now Councillor, David Anderson walked towards Shepard, a smile on his face.  Dark skin, a flat nose, and short cut hair highlighted an elegant but simple suit; the clothing of a Councillor.  Anderson was Shepard’s mentor, old captain, and still older friend.  Still more, he was the only of four Councillors that Shepard fully trusted.  

“It’s good to see you too, Anderson,” said Shepard, rising from his seat to shake his hand.  Anderson made a ‘follow me’ gesture, and the two started to walk through the extensive lobby.

“The information you sent me was quite helpful,” remarked Anderson.  Shepard rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous tick he’d picked up from somewhere.

“Ah.  Yes.  Well, my new colleagues are a bit… bizarre,” Wasn’t that the understatement of the century?  Really weird and slightly insane would probably be better.  “But, they are quite helpful.”  Especially if you want something very, very dead.  Anderson nodded in response.

“I’m sure.”  He glanced around the room, noting several Salarians hovering near a doorway.  “But the walls here have ears.  All part of the political game,” he sighed.  “Let’s take this conversation to my office.”  Shepard couldn’t agree more. 

Anderson’s office was, again, simple yet elegant, as a Councillor’s office should be.  Smooth walls and a large window, overlooking the Presidium, highlighted a maple desk.  Sitting on top of the desk, next to endless reports, was a single picture of Anderson wearing dress blues on his naval graduation day.  Anderson slid into the chair (with wheels, of course; humans in this galaxy weren't savages) and gestured for Shepard to take a seat opposite him.  

“Some of this data is, to put it bluntly, quite concerning,” opened Anderson without preamble.  He touched a button on his desk, and a hologram sprang to life, displaying three symbols: a blue triangle with a minimalized rocket taking off on it, a black and white six-spoked circle, and a double-headed golden eagle.  Of course we’d start with those three.  “These three in particular.  Tell me about them.”  He glanced at a data pad.  “The, uh, Interstellar Manufacturing Corporation, who sound a lot like if the Alliance was ruled by Cerberus, and the Galactic Empire and Imperium of Man, who,” this was accompanied by a slightly incredulous chuckle, “Sound like some nightmare governments from a bad movie.”  Shepard rubbed the back of his neck again.

“...yeah.  Sure.  I… how should I even start,” he rubbed his neck again, “The IMC is what you think would happen if a super-corporation gained enough power to rule humanity, the Galactic Empire took power after a Galactic Republic kinda lost a horrible war.” He still wasn’t 100% sure about the politics from that particular galaxy.  He shrugged, then continued.  “But, uh, both of those governments are on the decline.  Their opposite, more freedom-loving numbers have recently beat them back.  It’s the third one that’s the problem.”  Anderson shot him a look that clearly said ‘explain’.  “You see… well, how should I put this…” He frowned as he considered what to say.  “The Imperium of Man makes Terra Firma look violently pro-alien.”  Terra Firma was the System Alliance's resident human supremacist group.  Often compared to the Nazis of old, they were uncouth, brutal, and, above all, close minded.  Anderson’s eyebrows shot up at this comment.  Shepard rubbed his neck once more.  “Yeah.  No slurs or racial barbs for these guys.”  Shepard leaned in closer to Anderson to get his point across.  “One of their mottos is, and I quote, ‘Suffer not the alien to live’.”  Anderson cradled his head in his arms.  

“Oh, God.  And we invited them to the upcoming first contact talks.”  

“Yep!” replied Shepard with slightly more relish than was actually necessary.  It would be a real shame if xenocidal zealots murdered the Council (maybe), but perhaps it would be a good thing if they shook things up a little.  Certainly, if Cain was anything to go by, they weren’t all bad.  

“How are the other three going to react to all of this?” moaned Anderson, head still in his arms.

“Not quite sure,” replied Shepard, “Although, this time, it’s all politics, so the illustrious Commander Shepard isn’t going to be able to save their collective asses, like I’ve done the last five or six times.”  His face took on a pensive look.  “Although, maybe this will actually get them to listen about the Reapers…”  Anderson and Shepard’s thoughts were broken by a blue-skinned Asari, who politely knocked.

“Excuse me, Councillor Anderson.  The Council is ready to see Commander Shepard,” said the Asari.  Anderson sighed and slowly shook his head.  

“Well, duty calls.  This ought to be interesting.”

The Council chambers were much like the rest of the Citadel: utterly beautiful with a simple and refined elegance.  Too bad such a wonderful room was squandered on the walking wastes of oxygen that were the Council.  At least, that was Shepard’s opinion.  He didn’t have much liking for politicians, and most definitely had no liking for these three in particular.  He looked up at the podium where the Councillors stood.  At least they bothered to meet in person this time.  

There were three Councillors, excluding Anderson, each from a different species.  The Asari, a graceful, elegant monogendered race of blue-skinned women, the Salarians, a short lived but extremely intelligent race of amphibians, and the Turians, a militaristic race descended from avians.  Humanity was the most recent addition to the Council, a move that many seem to resent, but thanks to Commander John Shepard saving the Citadel and the Council it housed, a move that no one could oppose.  

“Commander Shepard,” began Sparatus, the Turian Councillor.  “While we appreciate being given information about these new galaxies,” this was inflicted by a measure of sarcasm, “Some of this seems quite hard to believe.”  ‘Just like the Reapers’ remained unsaid, but everyone was thinking it.  Shepard sighed inwardly.  It’s going to be one of these meetings.  

“Yes.  You went off on your own, chasing some message, and just sent this data back.  Explain yourself,” said Tevos, the Asari Councillor.  Anderson looked like he was about to intervene on Shepard’s behalf, but was interrupted.  

“Some of this seems highly unlikely.  First you come up with Reapers, a race of immortal sentient machines hell-bent on killing us all, now this!” intoned Valern, the Salarian Councillor.  Shepard struggled to keep a straight face.  

Calm down! said one part of his mind.  Explain to them what’s happening out there!  Tell them what you’ve seen.  Getting angry will get you nowhere.

Or will it? asked another part.  They didn’t listen about the Reapers, despite being attacked by one, they didn’t listen about your involvement with Cerberus, preferring to label you a terrorist.  They haven’t listened to you about anything.  Maybe anger will help you!  Besides, continued to voice, it's not like you couldn’t find similar employment elsewhere.  The Scoundrels trust you more than these idiots ever have.  I’m sure there are plenty of people who would pay top dollar for someone like you.   

“You know what?  I’m sick of this bullshit,” said Shepard.  “I am goddamn sick and tired of this bullshit.  You can believe whatever you want to believe, despite evidence to the contrary.  I have never lied to you.  I saved your lives.  I saved the Citadel.  I died for you!” he thundered.  The Councillors seemed rather taken aback.  “Yes, still, you don’t heed my warnings!  You don’t follow my advice, even though I have not once lied to any of you.  You sit, on your comfy chairs, trying to keep a peace that will most definitely be shattered.  You do nothing because it is simply more convenient to ignore reality,” he hissed, words dripping with venom.  Spartacus bristled.

“How dare you-”  Shepard whirled around to face him.

“Shut.  The fuck up, Sparatus.”  The calm in Shepard’s voice was deadly.  The Councilors blanched.  No one’s ever talked to them like that before, I’d guess.  He would have laughed if he wasn’t in mid-rant.  “Apparently, what I gave you was good enough to invite all of these governments over for peace talks.  All of them.  You also apparently trusted myself and my new colleagues enough to give them these invitations, instead of contacting these governments directly.”  Which was probably a wise move, in the long run, considering some of the reactions would have been ‘piss off and die’ if the invitations weren’t hand delivered by galaxy wide heroes.  Were they invitations?  Or… treaties?  What was a document inviting someone to a peace talk called?  Shepard shook himself out of his tangent and continued.

“Also, it seems you trust eight unknown people more than you trust the Spectre who has never lied, saved your lives, and died for you.  Have I missed anything?” he spun around to the room, arms outstretched theatrically.  

“Fine then, Shepard,” said Valern.  “You are dismissed.  Apparently,” he threw the word back in Shperad’s face, “Our top intelligence gatherer isn’t loyal to us anymore.  Other Spectres or the STG can take care of finding out what we need to know.”  Tevos and Sparatus looked apprehensive at their colleagues's dismissal.  While they might have been bureaucrats, they knew Shepard was one of the best Spectres and intelligence agents they had.  Shepard gave a laugh; a full throated hearty laugh.

“Oh, yeah.  Have fun with that.  Have fucking fun with that.  Have fucking fun sending the STG or some lone-wolf Spectre against people who have entire armies of super-soldiers at their disposal and who can legally destroy planets*.  Have fucking fun.”  He sneered.  “This is now the intelligence game you’re playing.  You aren’t in complete control anymore.”  Shepard crossed his arms and looked up at the Council.  “So, only one question remains: do you want my help or not?  ‘Cause if you don’t, there isn’t much point in me staying, is there?”  There it was: the ultimatum was out.  Would they back down and realize that Shepard was their best shot, or would they allow their emotions to get in the way?  Honestly, it could probably go either way.  Spartacus shot a look at Anderson.  Anderson replied with a ‘hey, not my problem’ stare.  Tevos cleared her throat.

“It seems we have been remiss, Spectre Shepard.”  Shepard let out a breath he had been silently holding.  While he would have made good on his threat, this was his home galaxy, and he wasn’t particularly sure he wanted to be working for someone like Crossgrow or the Inquisition.  “As you are the only one who has had contact with these people, please give us your opinion on how we should handle this situation.”  Shepard was sure it had probably physically hurt the Council to say that.  He dismissed the thought and returned to his duty.

“First thing first: you have to present a united front.  You can’t disagree with each other.  Second, all of the species’ representatives should be here.”  Before anyone could make an objection, he continued.  “All of them.  Definitely the client races.”  The Council had four races as members, but many more that were under their jurisdiction and not full members.  Many of those races were trying (and, for the most part, failing) to get a seat on the Council itself.  It wouldn’t do if the more open minded government, such as the Federation or GA, came to the Citadel, then saw the Council treating other races as less than equals.  “Even some of the other races who aren’t officially part of the Council, if you think you can control them.”  Shepard paced the floor.

“In addition, you should probably beef up the Citadel fleet.  Send in more ships.  Turian, Asari, Alliance, I don’t care.  We need as much security as possible, and some of these governments will be impressed by shows of force.”  

“Yes… we shall think about this,” replied Tevos.  “Your input will be helpful.  Please stay on the station during the talks.”  Shepard nodded, then came to a realization.  Oh, hell.  The first meeting of all of these governments is only slightly more than a week away.  This was going to be interesting.  Or deadly.  One of the two.  

*ONI can call on Spartans, ISB has Death troopers, and the Inquisition has the Grey Knights and the Deathwatch.  In addition, ISB helped to create the Death Star and has sway over Imperial Navy battlegroups, enough to bombard a planet into uninhabitable-ness, and the Inquisition can enact Exterminatus.  Shepard and the rest of the Scoundrels would know about all of this, except for the Grey Knights.

[monopsys]

The Last Person Standing

Hello everyone! I missed you all! I haven't been posting Durarara stuff lately so I wanted to change that by writing some new stories with @shizayasweek. Sorry for the long wait. So here we go!  Also all thoses fics will go in AO3 and tagged as instructed.

Fic Ao3

Day one  high school days/ "let me dye your hair"/ mafia!au

Mafia!au

Shizaya

Summary ( The yakuza starts to have a problem and it is up to Izaya to figure it out and deal with it.)

TW: Character death

  "Sir, are you completely sure about this?" The cold voice echoed in the room.

  The person that the voice referred to continue watching outside the window without flinching from the coldness of the voice. He simply smiled. He watched as a blond man walked the streets oblivious that someone was watching him. The cries were starting to get loud but then they suddenly stopped.

  "Remind me, what Shiki said?" Izaya finally broke the silence and looked directly at the person that asked him the question without losing his tempo on what he was doing.

  The man immediately looked away, feeling unworthy looking at his boss's face. The motion was so quick that it made him nauseous but that was what made his sir special and worthy of the title of yakuza. A quick job without a second thought. It made him shiver. His breath quickened but his voice was steady and without losing its coldness said.

  "Boss said that whatever my sir asked, I would gladly follow." 

  Izaya nodded finally smirking at the person in front of him. He toyed with his now bloody knife and with a swift motion, it landed next to his bodyguard's head. The man closed his eyes and nodded.

  "As you wish Sir." He said as he pulled out his gun.

  And with that, the whimpering stopped.

 -ooo-

  "You didn't even give them any chance..." Shiki said as Izaya walked inside the red room.

  Izaya smirked at him and winked. "Oh, Shiki-san is mad?~"

  "Stop playing and answer honestly Izaya." Shiki warned Izaya while breathing out the smoke from his cigarette.

  Izaya sat opposite Shiki and his gaze turned cold but his smirk was still on making him look completely out of his mind. Some would fear this look but Shiki knew it very well from the beginning of the journey together what it meant. And that meant that something was not good.

  Something was not going their way.

  Shiki let Izaya put his thoughts together. That was weird regarding Izaya one of the few yakuza members that never had lost any fight, any bet, any encounter with the enemy. He never lost. And yet something was off. Something was going against his plans. A thing that also affected Shiki and all yakuza members. Shiki put out his cigarette and put his hands together while looking at Izaya. Izaya closed his eyes and laughed quietly. 

 Eerily.

 And with that, he pushed the chessboard that was in front of him on the table and let himself relax on the sofa. He now smirked normally and his eyes had focused on Shiki. Shiki nodded and Izaya talked.

  "This was a new team we had recruited to get the boxes safely across the sea. Yet the team suddenly changed without our knowledge..."

  "It became a gang?" Shiki asked.

  Izaya toyed with his knife. "As far as I know. Their motto was 'saving the unaffected'. A new one."

  Shiki sighed. "How many were created this month?"

  "As far as I know they must be twelve. An impressive number yet only this time it was directly under my orders."

  "Was the others..."

  Izaya nodded. "As my information goes, they were under the Awakusu-kai."

  "Is Akabayashi aware of this?"

  Izaya smirked at him. "You wish me too?"

  Shiki closed his eyes. Izaya was quick with his orders and executions. He even didn't know about this and yet Izaya had managed to clean the carpet yet again without anyone noticing. He was lucky to have him as his successor. Either way, he had trained him well, from a young age, and yet his mind was sharper than Shiki's making him fearsome to every single one of their enemy. Yet now someone was crazy enough to go against them. Or...

  "Is..."

  Izaya laughed at Shiki. "You finally figure it out old-man."

  Izaya stood up and walked towards the library and took out a book. He finally took off his trademark jacket and unbuttoned his collar on his white shirt. When he finally was happy with the page on the book he turned and gave it to Shiki.

  The page has stopped on the historical battle. Well, only in the yakuza world. And that was the battle fifty years ago against the yakuza and mafia. Shiki now put his hand on his head and rubbed like he had a headache.

  "Are the events identical?"

  Izaya nodded. "Operations from yakuza are all stopped. Gangs start to emerge creating chaos and the mafia operation finally starts. The elimination of yakuza."

  "Only one organization can stand." Shiki stood up throwing the book on the sofa.

  He took his jacket and with a click of his fingers his bodyguards enter the room surrounding him. He looked at Izaya.

  "This must be announced at all the yakuza members. I order you to find more of the gangs and..."

  Izaya smirked as he stepped on one of the chess pieces.

  "...eliminate them."

 -ooo-

  "Are these the last ones, sir?" The man said as he threw one of the bodies on the water alongside his cigarette.

  Izaya nodded. "The last gang on this coast at least." He looked at one of the bodies with disappointment in his eyes.

  The man turned his gaze on the body Izaya was focused. He, unfortunately, recognized that man. It was the blond man that Izaya was focused on the other day.

  "Was he...important?" He asked and Izaya smirked.

  "Why is that important to you?"

  The man felt his heart skip on that tone. That...harsh voice...

He looked away while unknowingly smiling at that feeling.

  "You must know him by the tone." The man continued while he threw another body in the water.

  Izaya didn't say anything but the man felt two holes being created on his back. He smirked this time. 

  He had Izaya's attention...

  "He was important on yakuza yet his head started to get full with lies. So it was easier to just destroy it than empty it." 

  "So, he wasn't important..." The man's voice echoed together with a slash of a knife.

  The knife had made its way near his cheek creating a cut and had landed next to his feet. The man smiled again. Izaya's reaction was quick. He turned and licked the blood that ran on his cheek while looking at Izaya.

  Izaya didn't show any emotion and just showed his smirk at him.

  "You have a big mouth..." He walked closer to the man and placed a knife on his neck. "...perhaps that might bring some fun."

  With that, he closed it and jumped back away from the man. Izaya then looked at the moon.

  "You remind me of him."

  Oh?

  "That...monster. The only one that could get out of my control. He could find a way out of my plans. Ruined them." Izaya turned and looked at the man now watching every move he did.

  "So...I ruined him instead." Izaya started laughing and the man looked away betrayed.  

  He then continued his work with the bodies. With a last look at the blond man, he took out his yellow scarf and threw him.

 -ooo-

  "...Was he important?" The man suddenly asked as he took out his gloves after he had successfully killed the last boy on this gang.

  Izaya's eyes focused on him. "People are important."

  "Your love for them is what is important to you." The man said and felt Izaya near him.

  "Your ideas and words don't match." Izaya said as he looked at the man.

  "My ideas are your ideas, sir."

  Izaya laughed. "Of course. It is an unwritten rule."

  "My words can change if you want..."

  Izaya looked unimpressed but smirked. "And where is the fun on that. Your next words could always result in your death and yet...you say them...." 

  "Like just him?" The man interrupted Izaya and Izaya moved his dagger on the man's neck.

  "So the important question was about the monster, huh? What a clever bodyguard you are."

  "Thanks for your kind words, sir. And yes. Was he?"

  "Why are you obsessed with him, bodyguard? If I knew better, I would say you are his brother."

  "Knowing my sir's past and enemies are required at this job." 

  With that Izaya fell into silence slowly he removed the dagger and smirked at the bodyguard as he tipped towed away from him.

  "Clever boy. But this monster is dead."

  "You killed him?" 

  "My first job."

  The man stopped and observed Izaya. When he didn't find what he wanted he asked.

  "The first job of every yakuza top is to prove royalty by...killing someone they love."

  Izaya didn't say anything and just looked at the man. His face was emotionless apart from the usual smirk he always had.

  "But you had said that he was a monster."

  "That he was...but he was just any monster. He was MY monster."

  "But why you did it?"

  "As you said to prove my loyalty."

  The man looked at him confused and he closed his fist.

  "If you were in my position, wouldn't you do the same?"

  The man looked at him again as Izaya just watched him. What the man did must have made Izaya happy since he laughed at him.

  "You are weak."

  "But you loved him."

  "Unrequited love."

  The man turned his gaze at Izaya while Izaya walked close to a puddle of the blood of the victims.

  "Why?"

  "Why? You will figure it out." Izaya said jokingly but this time his tone was sadder. He saw himself mirrored by the blood and his smirk turned eerie.

  "I wonder...was he truly the true monster?"

 -ooo-

  It was the end.

  Even after all Izaya had done, killing all the gangs, destroying the informants, and throwing false information everything had turned against him. Or the yakuza. The war had started without him knowing, without realizing. Or he actually... let it happen.

  Did he want something? Was he searching for something? Why was he then so focused on destroying his own organization?

  Did something on him change?

  Did he look for revenge? 

  Perhaps. And yet not. He felt his heart drop when he saw his companions falling in battle. Every single person he had managed to rule into yakuza were down or were still fighting. His job was one and only at this time. It was to fight with them. Yet his dagger wasn't moving.

  Was because he knew that the fight was over since he had ordered all the remaining yakuza to run and find shelter and regroup after this unexpected ambush. With what he had done they would have a better chance at the next battle. He was sure... But now....his dagger didn't move.

  Was it because of the person in front of him that the dagger didn't move? 

  The man, his supposed bodyguard had managed to hit him making Izaya unable to move without feeling pain. That wouldn't surprise Izaya if it wasn't the weapon that his bodyguard had used on him. 

  A stop sign.

  Only one could tear apart a sign, lift it without any problem and that was...Shizuo.

  Izaya smirked at him while Shizuo finally took out that damn mask from his head. His blond hair shined at the light and his face was still intact, handsome as ever.

  Izaya spitted out the blood from his mouth and smiled at Shizuo.

  "Shizu-chan..." The stop sign moved and cut some of Izaya's hair.

  "Don't...ever call me that again!" 

  Finally the voice, he long-awaited to hear.

  "That name was given to me from someone that loved me."

  "He is still here..." Izaya said but he didn’t expect the punch.

  Izaya moved back and held his cheek feeling it burn.

  "He might be...but that person is dead to me!" Shizuo barked and Izaya laughed.

  "Was he? As I see it, Shizu-chan, you were the one that was still around me." With that, he threw his dagger finally at Shizuo.

  Shizuo caught it and instantly broke it without flinching. Izaya stared at him losing himself for a while but quickly moved away from the upcoming sign. The sign hit the wall and stayed there. Shizuo though continued moving towards Izaya.

  "Says the one that erased me from this world."

  Izaya grimaced. He stared at Shizuo. "Why..."

  "Why..." Shizuo laughed at him. "As you said, I am a monster. A bullet does nothing to me."

  Izaya grimaced again but smiled. "Ah~ Of course. I have forgotten that thing about you. Your brain is one fact of your brutal motions. Never thinking. Something that might have saved us both.'' He whispered the last part but continued backing away from Shizuo. ''So you have come out just the perfect time to kill me. While my mind was elsewhere. Clever Shizu-chan."

  "Waited for the right time."

  "While looking for the answers. You did a full character arc Shizu-chan, that's impressive. Yet only Neanderthals can see the truth. Unlike you."

  Shizuo showed his teeth but didn't move. He noticed that Izaya had managed to come closer to a window. He stared at him. Izaya just closed his eyes and smirked. With that he let himself fall back and...

  ...fell.

  ...but someone stopped him. Shizuo held his hand and Izaya finally opened his eyes and smirked at him.

  "I was naive Shizu-chan. Betrayed by my own feelings. Yet the one that chooses to continue this serenade is you!"

  Shizuo looked at him and pulled him inside the building before Izaya did anything more. Closer to him. Izaya put his hand on Shizuo’s chest feeling it move. His other hand was still held by Shizuo who hadn't moved. Izaya felt relief and then before he realized what was happening...pain.

  He coughed blood. More blood than before. He looked down at his chest and saw a gun pointing at him. Shizuo had shot him.

  Izaya turned at Shizuo who looked at him with regret and tears started to run down his eyes. Izaya pulled his hand away from his wound and put it on Shizuo’s face. 

  "I...I was wrong Shizu-chan....the...the true monster is..."

  Izaya then with as much strength he still had, moved his head and kissed Shizuo, feeling his eyes burn. Slowly he muttered.

  "...you..." 

  With that, his eyes closed letting his tears run down. 

  Shizuo held him close as he finally cried knowing that those words were true.

   -ooo-

  "Burn them all." Shizuo ordered and Vorona did as tasked.

  He watched as the fire killed them all. He didn’t feel anything for them even if the cries started to get louder and louder. He had managed to finally win the war. 

  Mafia won. 

  He had won.

  "Senpai, your face." Vorona said at Shizuo.

  Shizuo put his hand on where Vorona showed and he saw blood. He closed his eyes realizing who was it. Izaya's hand had left a trace of blood on his cheek. Marking Shizuo as his killer.

  He opened his eyes again and finally laughed. He felt his eyes burn yet again. He laughed and laughed but nothing matter anymore. Nor the win. Nor his success.

  Only the truth! And that truth was painful!

  Because Izaya never shot to kill but to erase. To save Shizuo.

  But Shizuo’s was...

  He was the TRUE monster!

---

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. I wanted some angst so here we are! To clarify Izaya was in Yakuza and Shizuo was in Mafia. Same people different sides of the same coin.

See you soon!

[thatdamnokie]

so, as everybody knows, our man, the lovely mark strong, turned 57 this past august 5th

since the kingsman films have had a huge influence on several aspects of my day-to-day life (gee, wonder what group of people i could be referring to...), i decided to sit down and do something i’ve been thinking about since getting my medical card earlier this year: getting high as a kite and watching them back-to-back.

to celebrate mark’s birthday, i decided to do another running commentary post like the one i did for rocknrolla ages ago, under the cut. it’s a pretty similar style, which is to say not necessarily super coherent and might be hard to understand if you’ve never seen the movies. D:

there are some mentions of the roanoke society, but not many.

if even just one person finds this mildly entertaining for four seconds, then i’ll have done my job. there is a lot of cursing and this is NOT spoiler-free.

enjoy~

edited 9.1.20 to correct typos and such, please remember that i was Not Sober while i wrote this lmao

how many times have i watched these movies at this point? i don’t even know.  

i always liked the nifty like—retro arcade marv opening animation

and the thing with the tapes! we love book-ending devices!

kingsman: badass motherfuckers worldwide incorporated

like why was merlin even with them? i understand why lee and james would be there, but merlin, was he not acting quartermaster then?

i have SO MANY FEELINGS about lee unwin

i think it haunts harry and merlin more than anyone thinks, but these are fun spy movies so we just don’t talk about trauma and shit, don’tcha know

don’t look at how merlin tears up and tell me he doesn’t drink about it *HEAVILY* later

it’s such a stark contrast to see the 1990s interior vs. what it’s like when eggsy’s grown :(

michelle baby i’m so sorry. you deserved better than this.

and BABY EGGSY

omg. like this scene is both heartbreaking but is also adorable.

colin firth has gd anime legs, that dude had to straight up unfold himself as he stood up lmao

aaannnnd swooping logo, whooooo, goin’ over some mountains~

and mark hamill, ladies and gentlemen!

this whole thing with james deciding to kinda go rogue makes me wish that we knew more about his backstory as well. like, is this james being james, or was this a weird one-off situation and he was just unlucky?

YES unlucky. nobody could plan for the hurricane of sleek destruction that is gazelle

who has one of my favorite aesthetic designs as a villain (although i guess i’d put her more on maybe henchman level? but idk, it seems like valentine looked at her more as a partner, less like an assistant? and they had a very interesting chemistry together too, like i would’ve added more valentine x gazelle scenes)

i would LOVE to be this chill about just—draping blankies over bodies

blankies over bodies sounds like a cool band name

DIBS you guys can’t have it

i am SO GLAD samuel l. jackson gave valentine a lisp!

valentine, to me, does fit a lot of the usual spy movie villain tropes

but since this movie doesn’t take itself super serious, it’s more fun than annoying

and we never hear about any of the other knights?? like

half of this is just gonna be me whining for additional footage that there just wouldn’t have been room for realistically lmao

michael caine, you are lovely

MARK STRONG, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN

WITH LEGS THAT DON’T QUIT AND AN ACCENT THAT I’D DIE FOR

i’m an embarrassment

like let’s all stop and thank god that mark didn’t have time to learn the welsh accent

not that i would’ve been disappointed, because all accents are good accents on this blog

but at this point i can’t imagine merlin as—not scottish

“try picking a more suitable candidate this time”

arthur you DICK

like were you this cold-blooded when lee died, you fuckin’ reptilian-ass son of a bitch

no wonder you were charlie’s pledge person thing

and enter the fabulous taron egerton, stage left!

DEAN you are DISGUSTING

god, michelle, you need better friends, if you were my bro this entire relationship would’ve never happened

;-; and eggsy’s so sweet with his sister! i know there probably wasn’t “room” for it but i AM glad that there are scenes showing that family is one of eggsy’s kinda “core values”or whatever you want to call it

dude is a hufflepuff through and through imo

can you imagine eggsy as a villain? we would be so fucked. he’s sly, he’s smart, he could’ve made life v e r y difficult for lots of people if he really wanted to

but look at him with the squad!

eggsy’s just like the british version of a good ol’ boy

this car scene is some dukes of hazzard bullshit (ramp-jumping and fun car horn aside)

if butterflies are harry’s main symbolic critter, would foxes be eggsy’s? or would it be a pug instead? i guess that’s like asking if harry would be either a butterfly or a cairn terrier, like mr. pickle. let’s say both.

this fandom is pretty on top of character associations like that

you get symbolic associations! YOU get symbolic associations! EVERYONE gets symbolic associations whether they’re actually in the canon or not! don’t have any? don’t worry, we’ll assign you at least one!

the guy playing the interviewing officer is ALSO the patriarch in the witch which i didn’t realize until—like, a while after

and it was while @circlesofbone​ was visiting, and we were just “oh, okay, guess we can’t escape this cast at all, this is fine”

“your father saved my life.”

harry you’re such a fucking peacock, waiting all posted up and posing so you’ll look cool

you big doofus

i’d kill to be inside his head during this first conversation with eggsy though

like is eggsy like lee? is harry seeing lee the entire time he’s talking to his son, in his mannerisms, how he carries himself, how he speaks?

or is eggsy the opposite? which—i don’t know if that would somehow be sadder?

there’s just a lot going on in the background of this bit that’s left up to interpretation

“although i’m sure it’s well-founded—“

harry’s just so casual about this entire thing, nobody’s that casual without practice

harry you rabble-rouser, what kind of life have you led

“manners. maketh. man.”

our timeless motto, my flowers

kingsman STILL to this DAY has some of the most well-choreographed fight scenes i’ve ever seen??

like yeah the church scene but even just this initial bar fight

harry could’ve been a dancer

in a way i guess he already is

like he moves so fluidly and gracefully, it is BONKERS

colin you did so good! i’m so proud!

the way eggsy’s just O.O

whether or not you ship hartwin, like, you gotta admit, that was hot

and his BODY LANGUAGE, he’s sitting like RAMROD straight, this poor dude lmao

nobody prepares you for a situation like that in public school is all i’m saying

harry, exiting stage left like a suave, smooth motherfucker

remember when iggy azalea was relevant

ugghhhh i hate this part

“I WASN’T WITH NO ONE”

can you imagine being harry hart listening to your dead friend’s son getting the shit beat out of him

like, surely he heard the cleaver, he knows dean was going to fucking gut eggsy right?

listen to how cold and icy his voice gets, oof

yeah, he’s pissed, and dean is lucky

PARKOUR

ugh, i want to go to london ;-; i want to walk in front of the shop and visit harry’s house and kiss cute english boys

i’d like to think harry’s super excited to show eggsy everything but he’s gotta keep it dialed back because “decorum”

the way eggsy pauses though

“come on.”

and he says it so softly.

if i was eggsy, i’d be nervous, too.

but i didn’t realize how quickly harry tries to give off signals like “hey there’s no reason to be scared.”

“like my fair lady?” “well, you’re full of surprises.” <3 one of my favorite sceneeesss.

harry’s voice is so soothing but eggsy is so freaked out by the elevator that he’s just—there’s no room for anything else beyond processing the elevator lmao

“how deep does this fucking thing go?” asking the real questions

aannnddd KINGSMAN BULLET TRAIN

i’d like to think they have like soft jazz or something playing in there

and then they get to the hangar and there are obviously a buuuuunch of people out on the tarmac that we just—never hear about? i just assume they’re all like technical officers or maybe other agents

“your father had the same look on his face. … as did i.”

harry is already rooting for him.

“late again, sir.”

that. brogue.

fuck, i could listen to him talk for hours, scottish accents are my favorite thing

#squadgoals

not a very diverse cast :/

the body bag speeeeech

and of course nobody was in any actual danger, but merlin doesn’t want them to know that so he becomes mr. hard as steel, i am emotionally stoic at all times, do not test me you bunch of rugrats

“classic army technique.”

ROXY

ROXY I WANT TO JUST HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS TT.TT

aannnnddd charlie, also

who we might’ve found sympathy for if we knew aaannyytthiinnggg else about his backstory

like, could he just be Like That, yeah

but most people i know who are assholes like that are that way because their parents were first /shrug/

can hardly fault the dude for turning out like that when poison was all he was given to drink

anyone else a hundred percent positive they would’ve drowned in the first trial

i would absolutely have panicked and bit it

but then again, i’m not kingsman material, i’m roanoke

and if this is the exact same test that merlin and harry went through, does that mean there might be some weird drowning trauma hidden back in there that’s just ANOTHER thing we’re not gonna talk about?

(yes the correct answer is yes)

god that’s such an american response to the problem though

glass can’t cause problems if it’s in a million pieces!

“yeah you can wipe those smirks off your faces…”

i wonder if there was ever a situation where a trainee actually drowned

and i don’t mean like amelia, i mean some poor kid who just failed the test

merlin knows how to put the fear of god in people though!

and mark strong, very handsome, yes, very scary, also yes

he and colin both look like they’re 80 percent leg in every single scene

harry literally had brain matter smatter ALL OVER HIS FACE and still somehow had the mental facilities to be aware of those dudes, leave a bomb and dive out of a window (and then escape said dudes)

billy badass, y’all

“just get it done.” okay, i took back what i said earlier, maybe he does see her as more of an assistant, less than a partner. their relationship is weird.

the puppy scene!

“it’s a bulldog innit?”

YASSSS the golden trio

because of what happened with our other canon charlie has become a weird character for me to watch, like, yeah, i “watch” charlie be himself in tss but the charlie i “see” is like—”our” charlie.

“bollocks!” and then he just runs with jb in his vest, makes me smile

aannddd we see valentine’s super cool factory

harry your hair gets so long <3

“water!” wow, who wants to bet that the fact he was instantly screaming means that maybe he’s gonna have some stuff to talk about in therapy later

roxy baby i’m sorry they made you hold the balloon and have to trust these dumbasses to not shoot you on accident

i would trust roxy to not shoot me

i love, love love valentine’s house

it’s gorgeous

set design is always such a cool way for filmmakers to include details about a character using pure aesthetics and i’m such a slut for it

tilde!

see also: one of the characters done the WORST by these movies imo!

the fact that she not only says no, she says no with enthusiasm and gets blatantly pissed, is one of the best insights we get into tilde’s character and then it just—gets wasted

like it takes three steps and then gets mowed down in the hallway like her guards

i would never be given the opportunity to be asked if i wanted an implant but i draw the line at having stuff put into my neck

awwww harry’s so proud!

that finger point “yeah, see, be more like your uncle”

merlin is SO TALL

“a bit much innit?”

he’s just—tapping a normal clipboard

… nobody wanna talk about how that’s a normal clipboard

anyway

i also love how they show him in professor sweaters for the beginning acts of the movie

definitely a softer aesthetic than one would guess for a dude who apparently did field missions sometime within the past decade or so, but i also have a theory that lee’s death directly contributed to merlin maybe being the man behind the screen as opposed to afield

because trauma is a thing but this is a FUN movie so we’re NOT gonna talk about it

“you’re gonna be all right. you’re top of the class!” this was the scene that made my mom a reggsy shipper

regardless of how you feel about them as a couple, their friendship is one of the best things about this movie, along with their dynamic with charlie, asjdnaskdjna WHY could we not have had a trio movie instead

eggsy you show-off “lemme just throw my arms up and dip outta this plane like it’s not a big deal”

roxy you can do it!

ugh, there goes my baby, off to have a near-death experience under merlin’s immediate supervision lmao

“good girl, rox, glad you made it!”

guys, they’re just kids.

i love this big group scene because it reminds us that these are just young folks, still

“my, my, you’re all very cheerful...”

“rufus, come on!” dude eggsy—and not even just eggsy, charlie and rox too--at least made an attempt at teamwork. you get points for that bro

but man, for all they know, they’re about to beef it in a very permanent way, i’d be freaking out too

merlin getting caught up in the drama

because again, he’s supposed to know that eggsy has a parachute

i think he wasn’t prepared for these two to get that close to not making it and that’s why we see him break face and drop his mug

*WHAM*

i HATE the sound of them landing

it’s not like you can hear bones breaking but it hurts me, guys

and then there were three

plus one daddy long legs quartermaster

“if you have a complaint you come here and you whisper it in my ear.”

yes SIR

“you need to take that chip off your shoulder.”

merlin coming’ in with the tough love portion of the kingsman core squad

there’s no reason for me to think harry’s persona was inspired by cruella de ville somehow but i do anyway

she reveals the mcdonald’s and valentine is just :D

idk if he was expecting a specific reaction or was just excited to see a reaction period

valentine is definitely a fun villain, which, given the tone of the movie, makes sense, it’s all supposed to be fun

one of the reasons i love kingsman is that it’s like, this golden ray of goofy cinematic fuckery in a world of grim!dark remakes and other superhero/spy films who are presented as more serious stories

“and thank you for such a—happy, meal.”

harry got a puppy smile

but see, then, here at his house he’s a lot more relaxed with gazelle! like, patting her butt, etc.

maybe what we see of their relationship is dependent on setting, because valentine himself has it compartmentalized?

perrrrrrhaps

“and i am never, EVER GOING TO AGREE!”

tilde, you deserved better, and i think all the weird hate you get from our ohana is unfair

you don’t twist a runner’s ankle before the race starts and then get mad when they don’t win

your story was mishandled from the beginning

asmr: hanging out with the golden trio watching worrying news in the kingsman trainee bunker room

the way he says “biblical sense” lmao

i have never been able to figure out if the way he says that line is supposed to infer spiritual respect, or lack of it, but i might be looking too into it

“it’s an acquired taste, mate.”

what—what would you even do if you were at a club and three people as hot as taron, ed and sophie all came up and start talking to you at the same time

like i know the target got up and left pretty quick because of the training exercise

but i’d be doing it because i’m ugly and if three hot people are all talking me up at a bar something is Bad and Wrong

which—the CAHONES on both eggsy and roxy

they both literally said “yeah i’m willing to die for this organization that hasn’t even given me a permanent place yet, what of it”

look at harry’s dimples in this scene, he is fighting a huge grin, he’s SO PROUD

i know that charlie’s response is supposed to be just more fodder into the “charlie hesketh is a tool” fire

but given that i’m not unconvinced that his home life wasn’t super shitty, like—

idk, this makes this scene a lot less fun to me. it makes it sad.

like, maybe charlie didn’t even want to be there deep down, maybe this was all for like, arthur, or his dad, or some other person he looked up to

and the way merlin looks when he tells charlie to go home, the way that he’s kinda grimacing? i’m wondering if he’s along the same kind of feeling. he’d know more about charlie’s history

have i also mentioned how much i love harry’s war room?

“YES harry!”

an evil plan is being born!

“true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

eggsy is still in his club clothes, so like—has he slept? y’all let those kids sleep after fucking drugging them, right? … guys?

“—when one is popping ones cherry.”

and eggsy is just CHEESING he is SO EXCITED

am i the only one who wants to learn more about the store clerk guy though?

he’s like the one person around who’s legit just there to run the shop

has no idea about any of the spy stuff happening

his name is donald, he’s married with three children and has two spaniels he loves

“THAT is sick.”

i would KILL for this room.

i don’t need anything in here for any reason but still

foreshadowing, foreshadowing, foreshadowing, more foreshadowing—

harry is such a NERD

“put it back, eggsy.”

the amount of self-control it would take to not have a sudden change in expression in that moment, omg

i wonder how THAT gets trained up in kingsman

“i guarantee it.” ha, get it, it’s a reference to that one commercial

“y’all—talk so funny.”

and this all means that they had a contact at that hat shop and got all that info to them before valentine got there, and somehow made sure he did end up buying a hat that they could also successfully put a bug on, how deep does this goooooo

“jack bauer?”

it says a lot about eggsy that out of all the jb’s it could’ve been, it was jack

uggghhhhhh of course they HAD to do this scene with eggsy with arthur

obviously harry couldn’t do it

i just think most of us would NOT be fans of arthur at this point in the movie, we’re all rooting for eggsy, like, he needs this moment with this other character because we gotta drive home that he’s an asshole

also—would have absolutely failed that test

and i’m not sorry at all

“welcome to kingsman--lancelot.”

i was really happy that it was a female agent who ended up getting the handle

aannddd more echoes of past scenes, man, nobody can say that this crew wasn’t intentional with their cinematography

when eggsy rolls the window down you can see his chest moving up and down, like, he is MAD

dean you asshole

so no wonder he gets so pissed that the car suddenly decides “nope, no, we’re not doing this, c’mon”

this entire conversation at harry’s house is—tense

and you don’t pick up on it the first time, i don’t think, but uh

i’m seeing it now

harry’s not just mad, he’s hurt, and eggsy’s furious but he’s also maybe regretting his actions.

it’s these two men who are rapidly trying to figure out their headspaces and trying to figure out how to navigate this situation with each other

and the way eggsy tries to apologize ;-;

kentucky is a beautiful state, actually

ohhhhhh y’alllll

we’re at the churrrccchhhh

we’re gettin’ closer to the coolest part of the movieeeee

it’s telling that gazelle was trying to make sure that they’d be safe

“… so hail satan, and have a lovely afternoon madame.”

the most metal lines colin firth has ever uttered on camera

the siren noise after it’s switched on bothers me in a way i can’t quite articulate

it might be because i have silent hill-colored trauma, who knows

FREEEEEE

BIIIRRRDDDDDDD

THE GREATEST ACTION TRACKING SHOT IN THE HISTORY OF CINEMA

but then eggsy and merlin are reacting aaaanndddd it’s—a lot less fun

because you realize that they’re watching their bro mercilessly slaughter innocent people and not stopping

and still not stopping

and still not stopping

but plot twist, i’m really glad they kept the track going, because if they’d suddenly picked *this* part of the scene to get serious, that would’ve brought the mood down so low that i don’t think there would’ve been any bouncing back

i just

how do people exist who aren’t attracted to harry hart

that man is a machine

and colin worked so hard to be able to do the scene himself, and that work SHOWS, that man cuts a FIGURE

i don’t know how they managed to somber it up just the right amount, either? maybe because they waited for the “fun action sequence” to be over so there wouldn’t need to be noise that had to be masked by a fun rock track?

“… what did you do to me.”

i cannot imagine what harry was feeling in that moment.

the way he spoke it was like he didn’t even have time to be afraid to die

“that tends to happen when you shoot somebody in the head. feels good, right?”

“no, it does not feel good!”

i love that exchange because we normally hear the opposite.

also—whiplash.

mark has this way of expressing grief without showing any—blatant signs.

like merlin’s not especially tearful, or crying, but his eyes look MASSIVE. and SAD. and he has just the tiiiiiniest tremor in his voice.

and eggsy, dude, like, we’ve all had it come on us really quick and suddenly it’s like your chest is pumping like a piston and when did it get so hard to breathe?

ARTHUR you REPULSE me

like look at how egssy’s shoulders sag when he realizes that arthur isn’t on his team

and in a way, this is eggsy’s final test as a kingsman trainee, imo

do you realize how quickly he had to assess what was happening and figure out what to do, all without arthur noticing?

“you are all alone. it is all up to you. remember all you have learned. good luck.”

it’s a very—almost horror-esque situation from that pov

and he passed with flying colors to go on his first true mission, because after he puts on the suit, that’s his visual cue of graduating, if that makes sense

that’s the knight putting on his armor.

“i’d rather be with harry. thanks.”

“so be it.”

*click*

me: *laughing at arthur’s big dumb stupid head*

… man i’d love a replica of that decanter and glasses set though

not to mention that eggsy recognized the flaws in arthur’s character and weaponized them, which is a whole other level of shit that isn’t necessarily easy; he knew that arthur carried the kind of pride that would leave him open

god, he looks so exhausted though when rox has him at gunpoint.

i think he was being pretty serious, about harry

sick helipaaaaaaad

that thing looks vaguely like a rock-‘em sock-‘em robot but in pieces though

more grandpa sweaters <3

man. you can see roxy swallow, you know she’s scared, but then she just sets her jaw and—

roxy baby you are the best i love you

i like the vintage vibe of the mountain lair

i think that’s another visual poke at the aesthetic themes of some of the older, og spy flicks out there

merlin looks SO LANKY walking back to the plane for some reason??

he stays until the last second for roxy. that’s love right there.

“a bespoke suit always fits.”

which can be good spiritual life advice too but that’s a separate conversation

“what the fuck is WRONG with you people?”

and his fuckin’ disco ball

uuggggghhhhh his speech reminds me of so many… “public figures” that i dislike

even though it’s obviously a bad thing that the chips are everywhere, i appreciate that phones and such are being shown in a positive manner (like, michelle talking to someone in the park, people at a ball game taking selfies, people at the beach, etc.) because i get so sick of that anti-tech boomer humor tbh

and the big reveal of eggsy in his suitttt

A KNIGHT IS BORN

“how’s the view?”

“hideous.”

you’re allowed to be crabby baby, you just let it out.

“lookin’ good, eggsy.”

“feelin’ good, merlin.”

merlin is so calm heading into the fortress and i don’t know if it’s because he’s very, very good at compartmentalizing and that’s genuinely how he is at the moment or if he’s that way through extreme self-control and effort

he can rock a pilot’s uniform though

just like eggsy can rock a suit

they’re both so handsome, help

i also wonder how eggsy’s feeling right then

like, i’d imagine that the pressure of having to perform a role to literally save the world would be enough to distract him from the bite of grief

that’s—probably enough to distract everyone, tbh

i a hundred percent believe there are breakdowns we don’t see

i wonder if eggsy told tilde he’d spoken to lindstrum(sp?) after everything was said and done

like, that’d be some kind of weird foreshadowing in hindsight

this scene is anxiety-inducing in a big way so to distract myself i imagine roxy as a mech pilot

dude i’d totally watch sophie in a role like that, like, let her be in a movie like pacific rim, she’d kick ass

and now we have The Chaos

otherwise known as that point when Everything Is Happening All At Once All The Time

also a thing that doesn’t exist in spy movies: hearing damage

because like his voice is right in eggsy’s ear and without it he’d have a LOT harder time surviving

imagine being an agent, merlin trying to talk to you, but something either hits your ear or goes off right next to it and suddenly it’s just silent

SYSTEM FAILURE

YAAASSSSS

WE WIN

GGOOOAAAAALLLLLL

THE AUDIENCE IS DOING THE WAVE

except JUST KIDDING

The Chaos 2 Electric Boogaloo!

merlin with a huge gun: hot, also, very scary

eggsy is just 10000% done

“this is mine. i’ll show you yours.”

i wonder who e man was supposed to be that valentine called.

like is that a reference to a real person that i just did’t catch?

… elon musk? maybe? idk

eggsy slides like a gd anime character

when he uses the rainmaker, it’s just like harry’s protecting him from somewhere else

(oh—wait, technically kentucky, i guess)

“merlin, i’m fucked.” you can hear the anger there. not only did he fail, but he—and everyone else—is about to die

but this? this is the pinnacle of eggsy showing himself as a kingman agent

he was staring death straight in the mouth and STILL

SOMEHOW

REMEMBERED THE IMPLANTS

so i guess if i say that the moment when he puts on the suit is when he becomes a true agent, then maybe this is the moment when he becomes galahad.

*bobs head to pomp & circumstance*

i remember getting a huge kick out of how colorful they made this

because in real life you know a bunch of people literally blowing up would be like—DISGUSTING

viscera everywhere

no fun rainbow mushroom clouds

“i’ve always wanted to kiss a princess.”

ANOTHER knight reference, very clever matthew

mmmmm Do Not Like that noise

aaaannndddd *that* line

which—maybe that’s mr. vaughn’s sense of humor, or what he thinks the sense of humor his core demographic has, idk

but it always kinda rubbed me the wrong way

the mass brawl scenes are edited so like--jarringly compared to the other fight scenes in the movie

that’s probably for a reason

also, a showdown to the tune of something disco: kind of another trope homage

this shot of gazelle is so sick, i love everything about it, she is so cool

this entire fight with eggsy is awesome tbh

we got a little bit of what gazelle can look like in combat earlier with tilde’s guards, but now we get this epic showdown seeing her at her full potential against someone who’s actually a challenge

and the way valentine is shouting for her to kick his ass from upstairs and yelling encouragement lmao that’s how real friends act when there’s a fight

daisy ;-; ugh, that’s the visual gutpunch that makes it juuuuuust serious enough by reminding us of the stakes

which is why it’s fitting that then we see the Slo-Mo K.O.

and that smile with the fun little chimes in the back, lmao

and eggsy, quick on his feet again byyyy being quick on gazelle’s feet—foot—whatever

man, impalement deaths are always fun.

coulda done without the vomiting but that’s also one of valentine’s quirks that makes him different from a cookie cutter villain

aaannddd have a heavy sigh from merlin

that dude needs a full-body massage and a drink

“is this where you say some really bad pun?”

reminder: i love that this movie is self-aware! i could not picture a super serious kingsman movie! i just picture something depressing!

there had to have been a better option besides—this, for this eggsy/tilde ending scene

i’m not saying i’m mad it ended with them fucking, i’m mad that the extent of the joke was anal and that was it.

also the idea of my boss possibly seeing me having sex would have me a little more concerned about the hardware on my face, but okay??

aannddd the tapes.

gah, we love visual throwbacks!

we love being able to see that despite all this growth and change, family remains very important to eggsy—he hasn’t changed into a different person, he has grown more into himself than ever before! THIS! THIS is eggsy unwin!

… GET READY FOR IT

time for tgc! (and to get into my roanoke feels, maybe, this is the nexus where our canons connect)

the BAGPIPES

okay

i did not stop to consider how unpleasant this was going to be to watch stoned but we’re gonna power through it and get through it together

if i cry i cry

the way the music swells into the main theme <3

and the perfect reveal for our boy eggsy!

reflected in gold, looking sharper than broken glass

and SUDDENLY CHARLIE

the pacing in tgc leads me to believe that matthew had huge plans for this movie, and a lot of cool stuff probably ended up on the cutting room floor for time

i also love that they brought charlie back

i love his voice box and his cool robot arm

and i’m not just saying that because it made it super easy to blend him into our canon, either, this is like—charlie’s evil twin in terms of his new aesthetic, the contrast is really cool

YYAASSSS THIS SCENE

WITH PRINCE PLAYING??

*CHEF’S KISS*

like we are IMMEDIATELY thrown back into the gold parts of it all, like how physics is a little broken so we can do cool shit like have a knockdown drag-out fight all within the space of a small cab

i wonder what would’ve hurt charlie worse—being thrown onto his organic side, or having all his weight land on his metal arm if it hadn’t disattached

but then he’s up and standing so i guess we’re fine?

MERLIN! <3

otherwise known as the character entrance that literally changed my life

i try not to think about it too much or i get weirded out

ANYWAY

(and to think i almost never even saw the movie)

Sick Car Chase, Bro

and as an american, like, everything’s on the opposite side to me, it’s stressful to watch a little bit

“i seem to remember in your training you were rather good at holding your breath.”

man, that’s uh—kind of a macabre thing to say, merlin

just a little bit

i’m not even gonna attempt to hold my breath to see if i’d survive this scene just assume i’m dead in that universe

we all live in a kingsman subarmine, a kingsman submarine, a kingsman submarine~~

“not boasting, but i trained him well enough that even he wouldn't mess that up.”

merlin are you okay??

gah, i love that chest-deep laugh though.

is it real love if they won’t crawl through the sewer to get to your house in time

i love that harry’s house looks basically the same

i know they talk about eggsy not wanting to change anything in the novelization but i haven’t read it yet so I’m not a hundred percent sure what all is in there

and we still get to see him hanging with his friends, and his girlfriend, like, this dude is still all about the family

“wwwwOOOOO!”

i love this group so much omg

for as much as he’s galahad, he’s still eggsy

the transition in the weed bag looks super cool

… oh, i guess watching this while high makes the main storyline hit a bit different

welp

i love that poppy is an aesthetic slut and really doesn’t give a shit about anyone’s opinion about how she makes her space

like, “i want a big 50s-style diner with a gourmet kitchen that i can cook people in, soooooo i’m getting one”

it’s also refreshing to see julianne moore in a bad guy role!

not that i’m super familiar with her filmography but i feel like i’ve mostly seen her cast as like a good guy?

i could be wrong

awwwww jet and bennie!

there’s so much to love about this set

cannibalism and the fact that she bulldozed jungle to build all this aside (suspend that belief!)

the breakfast sceeeeeene

it’s so bittersweet, for obvious reasons

and it’s more evidence that he’s not super ready to move on into new territory yet, like making new memories with tilde that ring close to home

“i wish i could have met him.”

and the way he has to turn away, ugh.

eggsy. i’m sorry.

tilde, i’m sorry, too. you had good intentions, but they lost against his pain.

michael gambdon! the new arthur we didn’t know we wanted until we got him.

charlie had a moral glo-down, it’s fine, happens to everybody

FFFFFF his imitation of merlin lmfao

man, poor charlie, like

you wake up, you can’t make a sound, your arm has been blown off and your family’s dead

like his reaction to that entire scenario isn’t entirely unrealistic, i’m just saying

also LOOK AT ROX

omg everyone in this movie can wear the FUCK out of suit, y’all

man, i’ve gotten a few tattoos that were exquisitely painful—i can’t imagine how much it would suck to do it with literal molten metal

dude this means clara laid on her stomach and probably screamed at the floor as she got hers D:

this kinda—riffs off of hannibal, a teeny-tiny bit

like we’re so overloaded with the aesthetics and behavior of a certain character so it’s like, we forget about the much darker parts untillllll there’s a mood change and we’re looking at that dude’s legs, to the burger this other dude puts in his mouth, and thinking “oh, oh dear, ew”

i love eggsy in the orange jacket <3 snaps for the wardrobe crew across this series.

tilde’s face, omg, she was heart-eyeing so bad. and like, that little proud nod at her dad (who was of course being Like That on purpose)

and roxy, coming in in the clutch, you are tonight’s MVP

uggghhhhh i hate this part

because again, it’s just--a bunch of bad shit colliding outside of anyone’s control

(it was also really jarring seeing the war room with blank walls the first time i watched this)

like—granted, you should maybe not touch stuff that’s not yours, but…

like we *just* saw eggsy and brandon in a very casual, intimate scene with each other, how can anyone get angry with brandon?

this is all stress-inducing

i remember being in the theater watching this and feeling like i was watching some awful slow motion car wreck and i couldn’t look away

idk what other story i would’ve wanted to see but i was NOT a fan of Sudden Death For Christmas, especially concerning roxy!

and poppy is such a *bright* villain, not just because of taste but because of her personality, which is another weird thing to have next to the cannibalism

gaaahhhh charlieeee your arm is so cooooool

this shot is gorgeous and incredibly depressing.

what do you do?

gah, and the way merlin comes out of the dark, like

i probably would’ve drawn a gun on him too

“you think *i* would?”

this scene shows 1. how much he trusts eggsy to not shoot him, and/or 2. how good merlin is at compartmentalizing, because this is an even bigger blow than harry’s death, and he’s following the protocol like it’s an art form

i hope that we see some reference to this safe in the next movie, that’d be a cool way to tie the narratives all together

“i suppose that must be upper class humor. … i don’t get it.”

reminder, merlin is working class.

if you’re a ho for this fandom and went and bought this whiskey specifically because of this movie clap your hands *clap clap*

and they proceed to just get HAMMERED

“country rooaaddsss… take me hoooooome…”

another reminder: kentucky is a beautiful state!

i would love to tour a whiskey distillery, that’d be super cool

“shame it’s not scotch”

again, with his weird night vale clipboard.

who would win: two highly-trained kingsman agents vs. one (1) cowboy

channing tatum, ladies and gentlemen!

“y’all look damn sharp!”

i am forever gonna be mad we didn’t get more of tequila in this movie, and not just because of roanoke either, but like, “that dog don’t hunt,” whatever he has in his mouth sealed a leak in a barrel, and it took him all of two minutes to incapacitate both eggsy AND merlin? hello??

i’m glad we’ll get to see more of him in the another movie.

“you know why the measurement of alcohol is called proof?”

just dumping it on their laps, so disrespectful

“—and you can go fuck yourself.”

eggsy fucking just giggling.

these two doofuses

also it’s hot to see merlin be sassy ngl

“HARRY!”

these guys have been fast thinkers in stressful situations but as it turns out, people being unexpectedly not dead can kinda fuck with your day

aaannddd halle berry, everybody! i love ginger ale omg

(and so does merlin, he is instantly enchanted)

;-; this reunion scene

i don’t know how colin manages to be two completely different people at once

like there’s a huge difference between former agent galahad and harry hart the lepidopterist and i can’t explain it

i really, really hope we see at least one little hint at kinsman’s relationship with statesman in the new movie, i just think it’d be really cool

in roanoke canon, there’s an office rumor that the nanobot tech used by statesman was influenced directly by the same technology developed by dr. wernicke in the outlast games. i still think it’s one of my better crossover ideas.

also

god bless whoever decided to get elton john involved with all this?? because i was DELIGHTED

i love poppy’s wardrobe as much as i love her weird 50s-land in the jungle

i also really love the main statesman theme? it reminds me of all those fun epic westerns

jeff bridges! :D

champ vaguely reminds me of my dad

“can you imagine us in the tailor business?”

and he’s super quick with the questions. my headcanons for champ are all over the place but one that i really like is that he was maybe a sheriff or in law enforcement before being recruited by statesman.

aaanndddd pedro pascal, everybody!

otherwise known as *another* character that this movie did dirty, that’ll probably come up in this later

imagine being harry hart, not remember all of yourself, and suddenly your entire room just—fills with water

that had to have been so terrifying, and it was just as hard for merlin to watch (and possibly remember something unpleasant)

and like

that sounds like SUCH bullshit, too, like “yeah we thought if you came close to drowning it would help”

which, is that what merlin meant, no, but is that what harry heard, probably

enter jb the second ;-; <3 sweet baby

tilde’s trying so hard. i see you!

aha, penis jokes.

and all of the unnecessary weird festival stuff, uuggghh

there are so many different things they could have done, like, all of this is just weird from the get-go

first of all, whiskey striking out? hello?? saying no to a man like mr. pascal???

not realistic

the way whiskey takes a shot as he walks away lmao, relatable

and poor clara, like, it’s not like she was asking for any of this D:

hmmmmmmm don’t know how i feel being a stoner watching other stoners get this blue rash thing when i know it kills some of themmmmmmm

i love charlie in his newsboys cap!

poppy has a little bit of a point. like, booze is way more dangerous than pot, as is tobacco. like i would never advocate anyone try meth or heroin, but i think weed and some hallucinogenics get bad wraps.

seeing a dude get torn in half in the reflection of elton john’s sunglasses is the surprising bit of gore we need to remember that oh, yeah, the villain isn’t fun, she’s a murderer

uuggghhhh the TENT SCENE

and, look, i’ll defend tilde forever, but i did NOT like the weird marriage ultimatum. i still think it’s a dick move, like, in that situation either decide to trust your boyfriend or break up with him

the tent interior is super cool-looking

and like, man, he tried, he tried to bounce D:

/sigh/ work hazards, i guess

mmmmmm we don’t need any of what’s happening on screen right now so i’ll just sit patiently and wait for it to be over

and like, there’s nothing funny about merlin and ginger being able to hear everything that’s going on, it’s so grosssss, poor ginger has to have heard some shit before to be so nonchalant about it

everything about this sucks

and then he tries going to the one person who he needs the most and having to deal with him still existing in some state between alive and dead

his body is here

but harry is not

“maggots turn into flies, perhaps you mean larvae!” :D he is SO CUTE

but this entire conversation, with harry still not remembering and eggsy trying so hard to reach him through the fog, is so depressing

like, i’d need a drink too

*and* a joint

i’m seeing my coping mechanisms on screen here folks

the way he comes up with the idea is kinda ingenious though

like, he’s looking at stuff to make himself bummed on purpose, but therein he finds the thing he needs to fix the issue

harry’s smile when eggsy hands him the puppy TT.TT

and then eggsy just becomes a stone cold motherfucker with no emotions

“no one’s sick enough to shoot a puppy!”

hi, flashback!harry

and as SOON as he remembers himself, it’s like his eyes are different, something about him looks like it did before kentucky

“… eggsy.”

one of my favorite movie hugs

and eggsy has to stand on his tiptoes because harry’s so tall

like yeah merlin and harry’s reunion isn’t as overtly emotional, but there’s definitely a sense of joy and relief there.

harry my baby ;-; much better with the sunglasses (and merlin was so close to telling him he looked spectacular)

“now is that any way to welcome a visit from outta town, moonshine?”

he! tried! to! defend! harry!

i hate that jack got a villain story line!

we could’ve had something so much better and infinitely more compelling!

“hurrrr durrrr morgan you just like redemption arcs because you don’t want anybody being a villain permanently” i also like them because sometimes that’s better writing, y’all sit down

“that is NOT what i call a kentucky welcome.”

i love so many things happening in this scene, like

we get to see whiskey kick ass, like yassss gimme those sweet action sequences and give us some character development by showcasing his fighting style

and also NOBODY shits on harry for not being able to handle the situation. both eggsy and merlin were like “dude we’re still celebrating the fact that you’re alive tbh it’s fine if you’re not back up to speed right this second”

you can really tell that this was penned by british people writing american slang because having grown up in the southern half of the u.s. i have never ONCE heard ANYONE say shit like “i feel like a tornado in a trailer park” lmao

and poppy’s fun little death threat infomercial, so great

“what have you done to me you FUCKING BITCH” oof, that’s a mood

!!!!! gonna be honest i kinda forgot that bruce greenwood plays the president

okay but save lives, legalize isn’t an entirely bad idea tbh

hnnnnnnng the scenes about people not being able to get into the hospital hits different in the year of our lord 2020 huh

… y’all i’m being weirded out by all this hospital scenes, this is unpleasant

i, too, wish i could pull a tequila and just be slipped into a chilly coma until shit wasn’t so fucked up

“the fact is, this presidency has won the war on drugs!”

THIS SCENE!

look, y’all can come into my inbox and call me a pothead, or a lazy stoner, or some third insult, but this dude’s VP is bringing up some very, VERY important points when it comes to any kind of discussion about drug use in the u.s.

am i drug-friendly, sure, but i’m more friendly to the notion that we stop demonizing addicts/users

harry looks fucking SCANDALIZED when he sees champ spit into his spittoon thing

i don’t think whiskey even brought up harry not being ready to return to the field in an insulting manner, he literally just saw him get his ass beat in a bar, but eggsy’s faith and loyalty are up there in the category of unstoppable force/immovable object, so here we are

am i the only one curious about the whole charlie x clara thing? because he’s definitely grown up a bit by tgc, and i wanna know how much of that might be because of clara

and he MISSES, e for effort harry

“so sorry about this—“ WHAM

and now that guy can say colin firth busted his face with a fire extinguisher, which is very cool

“*you’re* wu ting feng?” “… yes?”

“you motherFUCKER” ohhhhhh charlie maaaaaad

ginger and merlin though, #couplegoals

the only person more pissed off about the hallucinations than everyone else is harry

imagine remembering that you’re one of the top people in your field and you just keep seeing imaginary butterflies everywhere

like, yeah, i’d be pissed at not being able to do what i knew i was capable of, too

if it wasn’t careening towards a random retirement center, getting stuck in a wildly rotating gondola thing could be fun

nice tuesday afternoon activity

i would loved to have seen more galahad/whiskey field stuff

“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me—“

meanwhile, in the continuing adventures of eggsy and jack: shit goes from bad to worse like a formal spiral only going downward

their expressions as their both just SCREAMING always make me laugh

”that’s the first decent shit i’ve had in three weeks.” <- as does that line, that old dude’s just telling it like it is

eggsy’s comment about the antidote just reminds me of when boromir looks a the ring and says something like “all this for such a tiny thing”

dun dun DUN what are THOSE? hints that whiskey may not be who we think he is??

great. so excited about that. i say, rolling my eyes into the sun

“i’ll fix their wagons.” no one says that matthew!

i. love. this. scene. because now we get cool gun tricks AND the second most metal thing that happens with a lasso in this movie (we’re coming up on the most metal thing)

like please please PLEASE show us more lasso tricks in the statesman movie

“well thank fuckin’ christ i didn’t need any backup.” i wonder if whiskey’s acting angrier than he actually is to throw off the fact that he might’ve caught harry’s glance at him betraying suspicion

RIP jack

imagine the timeline where whiskey was never a bad guy and harry hart just blew a dude away for NO REASON

now THAT would be an interesting movie

because harry and eggsy, for all they went through in the first film, never had a conflict where it was harry in the position of mangling the ropes up

but of course eggsy would never, never tell merlin what happened because he’s still ultimately on harry’s team

damn, charlie, literally blowing up your girlfriend seems kinda extreme

“THIS is vital!”

and here we get to see the biggest difference between merlin and ginger

now, i know there’s extra stuff in the novelization about their relationship and i can’t talk about it because i have no idea what’s in the book

but!

i DO still headcanon as merlin quitting fieldwork after lee’s death

his comment is either what he genuinely believes, or maybe what he fashioned his beliefs into after stepping down from his field role, and ginger is just as sincere in her desire to break into that aspect of working for statesman

it’s like seeing the same character but in two points in time, and it’s really cool

that balance would’ve also been a fun aspect of their romantic relationship to explore but alas! ’twas not to be

colin and mark could both play slenderman

look at those limbs.

gracious.

also this facetime scene with eggsy and tilde T.T

that has to be so terrifying to watch when you know the steps of death and what they look like as they get closer

but it also puts a fire under eggsy though

“i’m leaving with, or without you.”

and of course they’re both gonna go because that’s NOT characteristic eggsy behavior based off of how we know he views family/squad

that’s how they know he’s being for cereal

uugggggGGHHHH and THAT FORESHADOING

stacey pruitt, attorney at lawwwww

hmmmmmmmmm

what does this conversation between poppy and the president remind me of

gonna just sigh into the void

and now we have harry and eggsy on the jet along with the BIGGEST LIE harry hart has ever told in his LIFE

kingsman and statesman aesthetics at least tend to be the same color schemes. lotta golds, yellows. browns.

eggsy, yeah, it’s a bummer your gf dumped you, but this relationship wasn’t very well-developed or written so i’m not as bummed as i could be

“… and in that moment, all i felt was loneliness and regret.”

harry shut the FUCK UP

you felt NOTHING??

you weren’t thinking of, gee, i dunno, EGGSY? or MERLIN?? your MOM???

like these lines from him just seem to come out of left field and i can’t even halfway suspend my belief long enough to come close to believing him

like mr. hart you just gonna be like that in front of jesus and everybody????

so, yeah, of course he’s on board with saving tilde! because he recognizes (apparently just right that second) that “having something to lose is what makes life worth living”

and i don’t know if they felt like there need to be some weird, deeply contrasting reason for harry to swing around to being in support? or something?

like

i’m forever pissed about this characterization and i don’t even know if i’m expressing my anger in a way that makes it easy to understand lmao this is fine, i’m fine, literally not a single person in this fandom ever believed those lines anyway, it’s fine

moving on

... and even if they WERE true then honestly that just makes me more excited about butterfly knife, because that means that harry acknowledged both the bad side of the coin, and also the side with rae on it (which would mean seeing her for who she was and also recognizing his feelings for what THEY were) and drew the ultimately correct conclucision that love! is! always! worth! it! let that shit in like a welcome guest in the home of your heart, and they will stay as long as you let them!

as SOON as he wakes up ginger looks a thousand percent done lmao

and the “process” that they use to wake people up or whatever is—interesting

because all it is, is trauma turned into a tool which is kind of a weird concept to see in a “fun spy movie” imo

and this is one of what i feel were like only what, two? glimpses we get into whiskey’s Tragic Backstory

and the other scene isn’t a glimpse it’s just straight up exposition in his dialogue :/

jack, i’m sorry, you deserved better than this as a character

i’m sure the name “silver pony” is a reference to something but i don’t know what

“lookin’ GOOD merlin!” “feelin’ good, eggsy.”

ladies and gentlemen when i tell you that i lost my pool-noodle mind seeing him put on that suit watching this in a theater, i--

ANYWAY

because now that i have the horrible burden of having seen these movies a million times

i know it’s more symbolic

he stays in sweaters so long, as an agent of the background, because he walked a man to his death

so it figures when he puts the armor back on for the first time in ages

he walks to his own

uuuggghhhh the minesweeper

i hate this

i hate it

i hate everything about the feelings i’m having while this is happening

*beep-beep*

“you move, we die.”

i HATE IT

but like, i don’t know, how preferable is this to the end scene we almost got, which was merlin dragging his newly-legless corpse through a doggy door?

because it’s been literally multiple years and i still have no fucking idea

they’re both horrible in their own terrible, awful ways

damn, matthew, it’s not often someone manages to come up with multiple versions of a thing and have every version be so gut-wrenchingly horrific, i’m truly impressed and completely disgusted

“do as your told!”

god

everyone just going through twenty shades of Bad Feelings in the space of fifteen seconds here in the jungle

and colin and taron do this thing where it’s like—their eyes go dead? like, there was a light here, it’s gone now

it SUCKS

oh

oh no

ALMOST HEAVEN

WEST VIRGINIA

… fuck

LIFE IS OLD THERE

OLDER THAN THE TREES

“… singing?”

this sucks.

this sucks this sucks this sucks

MOUNTAIN MAMAAAAA

TAKE ME HOOOOME

COUNTRY ROOOADDSSSSS

*THUNK*

and he even took off his glasses before he hit him, he had his end coming towards him and he was still a gentleman

TAKE ME HOOOME

COUNTRY RROOOOAAAADDDSSSSS

his EYES AT THE END

FUCK

… okay i had to get up and go for a lil’ walk

anyway

(and again, roanoke canon, fucking fixing’ shit left and right, because we’re the goat)

harry and eggsy look MURDEREROUS

MERLIN SAID KNOCK YOU OUT

it DID make the grand ending fun action scene a lot more satisfying

because like, without merlin there, that means harry and eggsy get to go full feral

poppy you big idiot you just robbed them of all their motivation to show any kind of restraint and now everybody’s gonna get blown up

except for those dudes who get kicked by elton john

which would be an HONOR first of all

(the part where eggsy’s using his gun and shield vaguely reminds me of the specialist, @bloodofthepen​)

and harry and eggsy just—they’re drift compatible! that’s it! the teamwork! the grace! the flow! my god!

eggsy vs. charlie: round like 4 if you count the first movie

it was also satisfying to see charlie’s new arm in action

we love fun robotics and gadgetry in this house

colin firth is really just not afraid to throw himself full force down a bowling lane huh

ugh, seeing charlie slam eggsy over and over again makes my chest hurt

the sound mixing on all these films is top notch which isn’t always a good thing T.T

ROCKETMAN~~~

that shit will never NOT be funny

a wild elton john appeared!

eggsy is indestructible, he can walk off anything

but charlie, charlie i feel really sorry for, imagine being attacked by a superior version of your own limb, i.e. something that you can’t exactly quickly remove from yourself, that would be TERRIFYING

harry + elton = dream teaaaammmm

“darling if you save the world, you can have a backstage pass.”

i love you elton john :(

i would have been the most OBNOXIOUS hype man in the background of the entire kingsman vs. poppy land face-off

“let’s make this fair.” eggsy you’re fuckin’ cheeky

and poor harry, all that lank just getting tossed like noodles

i thought the robot puppers were very cool

“for the record charlie i’m more of a gentleman than you’ll ever be.”

mmmmmm do NOT like this death for charlie

SUPER glad we fixed it

and another scene where i can’t stand the sound mixing T.T it makes me cringe every time

“i don’t consider genocide especially lady-like.”

and are we gonna talk about how merlin knew how to make heroin?

… no?

nobody wanna talk about that?

ugh that houndstooth dress is so PRETTY though

high!poppy is weirdly comedic for all of two seconds and then it stops being funny real fast

whiskey D:<

this is so dumb

this is all so, so dumb

“our agencies were founded to uphold peace, to protect the innocent—“

there’s that nobility again

is what happened to whiskey fucked up, yes

i’m not saying we have to completely remove that from his story

i just

literally anything but this would have been preferable

and then HOT DOG it’s one of my favorite shots in the movie with the whip where harry’s just chucking it away from his face like a bamf, YES

how great is this cover, let’s be honest

like, i’d be lying if i said i didn’t enjoy this scene visually

plus

HARRY GETTING PEGGED RIGHT IN THE FACE WITH A FRYING PAN

gracious

it’s one fluid tracking shot, so kinda in alignmentment with what we’re used to

some people get annoyed with repeated junk but when you can do it THIS WELL you can get away with anything

D:

but then jack

you did NOT desert that

yes, you were in dire need of an attitude adjustment but jesus

“this is for you, merlin.”

/ugly sobbing/

and tilde is all betterrrrrr ;-;

you guys did itttttt

COUNTRY ROOOAAADDSS

TAKE ME HOOOOOOMMEEEE

TO THE PLAAAAAACCCEEEEE

I BELOOOOONNGGGG

and the scene with jamal and liam T.T #wholesomecontent

poor tequila, after i knew that you would have a bigger role in another movie, i was less annoyed by the fact that they iced you so quick into the story

#FOX2020

“… now we’re brothers, working side by side.”

spoiler alert i actually love champ’s toast

“y’all shittin’ in high cotton now” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???

and ginger becomes the new whiskey like she always wanted T.T

merlin is proud from heaven (or london, depending on which canon)

iiiiiii have mixed feelings about the whole wedding scene, which is probably because i take HUGE issue with the weird proposal ultimatum thing that happened earlier

but the way eggsy says “not a doubt in my mind,” he says it so seriously and i remember that tilde almost died

there was such good intention packed into this couple that was so badly written that i just

augh

“but it is perhaps the end of the beginning.”

there’s ***merlin! lmao i see you dude, they did you dirty

look

i was pissed off about a lot of things that happened in this thing but i was honestly hype seeing tequila at the very end walking into the tailor shop

like, yeah, i’ll stick around to see what happens in this universe but i’m gonna complain the whole time

GO JACK RABBIT

RUNNING THROUGH THE WOODS

and again, i almost didn’t see this movie.

… i think about that morgan sometimes.

hope she’s doin’ okay.

…

she’s probably not. D:

[tyiaunia-harris]

Amechu Scenarios

1. Missing Plushies-Yao wakes up one day and  discover that his favorite panda plushie is missing. He looks all over for his favorite panda plushie and just when finally gives up and accepts that it's gone for good, he's surprised when the next day when's he's the first to arrive for the meeting his plushie is in his seat along with a note. Yao picks up the plushie and nothing that he's been stitched up and is wearing a red ribbon around his neck. He reads the note and noticed that his friend Alfred was the one who found panda, noticed that he was a bit torn up and fixed it up for him out of the kindness of his own heart. Yao tears up at the sweet note and turns towards the door to see Alfred standing there with a bright smile on his face, before Alfred can even say hi he's tackle into a hug by Yao who kissed him and thanks him for taken such great care of panda.

2. All About Us- Everyday they have to deal with criticism because of their love for each other, every hour they have to hear the same damn insults 'he's too old for him' 'Alfred's only with him because of his debt' 'Yao is obviously his sugar daddy' 'It's just a public stunt, they'll be over in a month.' They know it's just talked, they don't give a darn because no one matters except for them. Fuck what they say or think, it's all about us is their life motto and they will forever live by that.

3. Dream Of You- Alfred has been having some weird dreams lately of him and his best friend Yao. In one dream their married, in others they are in a battle and he's trying to protect him from harm's way, and in some he's somehow traveled back in time to when they first met but in this timeline he tells Yao that he loves him and Yao returns his feelings. He usually wakes up from these dreams confuse over what they could mean, until one night it finally hits him that he's in love with Yao. So, he decided to confess to him just before he leaves the meeting room. Yao is left speechless by his confession but he then smiles and shocks Alfred by kissing him on the lips and telling him that he loves him too before leaving with a wink and a sway of his hips.

4. Maid Dresses- Kiku and Yao dress up in maid outfits for April fools as a prank for their boyfriends but unfortunately for them it ended up being a huge turn on for Arthur and Alfred. And now they have to deal with their horny boyfriends but, it ends up being a great time for everyone in the end.

5. First time- You cared for me when others didn't, you give me strength when I was week, you helped me up when I fall. You gave me everything when I had nothing at all. You showed me what true love was and what being in love felt like. You showed me kindness and compassion for so many year's. That's why I given you the permission to be my first, my last and my only love til the end of time.

6. Valentines Day- It's valentines day and Alfred wants it to be special for his boyfriend. So, when Yao comes home he finds rose petals on the fool that leads him to his backyard. Where he finds Alfred in a suit and behind him is a romantic table dinner and some plushies, a box of chocolate and roses. Yao is left speechless at the romantic gesture but is more surprised when Alfred gets down on one knee and asks him an important, life changing question. "Will you marry me?" Yao only respond by tackling Alfred in a big hug and kisses him on the lips. Alfred takes that as a yes and slips the diamond ring on his finger and the two of them enjoyed their dinner as fiancée.

7. Steaming Summer- With the summer heat barring outside. And his boyfriend looking irresistible in a white t shirt and shorts, Alfred couldn't help himself when he suddenly carried Yao to the bedroom and places him on the bed. Before Yao could asked Alfred why he did that, he is pulled into a stemming kiss from the blonde and he is left shocked at first but then he begins to kiss him back and wrap his arms and legs around him. Alfred removes his sweat tank top and gives Yao a view of his beautiful body coated in sweat and smirks before he takes off his shorts and helps Yao with his own clothes as well. Let's just say that the sun wasn't the only thing that was steaming up the room.

8. Bartender- Alfred just broken up with his girlfriend of two years and he catches her cheating on him with one of his friends. Alfred visit the bar to sluck in his misery but he eventually finds love in the Bartender Wang Yao. The two of them bond over their shared experience of being cheated on and having their love taken for granted. After a while  the drinking and talking soon lead to them sharing a dance in the bar and in the heat of the moment Alfred kisses Yao and he immediately apologized to him but Yao kisses him back and tells him it's okay and that they can take things slow. The two continued to dance and exchange numbers in order to stay in touch. Who knows what life has in store for them?

9. War for our lives- The two are fighting for their lives on opposite sides of the battle field but a huge explosion from a bomb pushed them far away from their respective groups. Now forced to worked together and eventually find safety in the aftermath of the battle, they will mark on a journey that will change their lives forever and maybe even bring them closer to each other.

10. Chirstmas Love Story- It's chirstmas eve and Yao is looking for the perfect gift for his boyfriend. He searched high and low but couldn't find anything that catches his eye or was something that he knows his boyfriend will keep forever and think of him when he sees it. Just when he's about to give up completely he finally finds the perfect gift, matching pendants with the names 'China' and  'America' on them in Chinese. He immediately buys them before the shop closes and gets them gift wrapped. Come chirstmas morning, Yao gives Alfred his gift and he is more than grateful for it and he was so happy that he loved the pendent. But, Yao is very surprised by Alfred's gift for him, which was to be his forever until the end of time. Yao cries tears of happiness as Alfred puts a beautiful diamond ring on his finger and he pulls him into a kiss.

11. King and Jack- King Alfred just pronounce his marriage to the jack of spades Wang Yao and everyone in the kingdom is shocked but mostly supportive of the royal couple. This is going to be a new era for the kingdom of Spades and everyone is hoping for peace and unity among the other cardverse kingdom's. But, the big suprise of the night will be when the king and queen announced thier upcoming pregnancy.

12. Girlfriends?- The 1 parts meets their nyo counterparts and our surprise to learn that Amelia and Chun Ya are girlfriends in their universe. 

[thenightling]

Preemptive Strike: Why Delirium is NOT ableist (because I probably will have to defend her when the Sandman series  comes out)

I have a bad feeling that with posts circulating about Wanda being problematic just because she faced Transphobia, and others calling Cain problematic (he’s supposed to be...)  that I might need to write this in advance.

Little Delirium if The Endless is Not ableist.

Each Endless represents an aspect of sentient life.  There are seven in all. Destiny, Death, Dream, Destruction, Desire, Despair, and little Delirium.  Each represents it’s aspect and the direct opposite.  

Delirium isn’t a character created to mock people with mental illness.  Heavily based on the goddess Mania (from Greek Mythology), in fact that was who she was to the Ancient Greeks, Delirium represents the state of delirium.  Delirium is a disorientation or confusion, often associated with hallucinations and incoherence.  It can come about from some forms of mental illness but it can also be the result of intoxication, lack of sleep, or extreme emotional distress. 

As Delirium represents the state of mental delirium she also represents mental clarity, sobriety, awareness.   Each Endless also represents their own opposite.  Destiny = Free will, Death = Life, Dream = Reality, Destruction = Creation (or the balance that is change), Desire = Hate, Despair = Hope.   Delirium = Awareness.    

Delirium used to be Delight so the implication is thousands of years ago her transformation was the result of some unspoken trauma.   

Delirium is not a cruel character, nor is she a parody.  Her condition treated as comedic. It’s simply how she is.   Delirium, in general, is very kind.   During Sandman: Brief Lives you find all she really wants is to be reunited with a lost sibling, Destruction.

Delirium is possibly the wisest of The Endless even if she might need a little help and guidance of her own from time to time.   

The cruelest thing we’ve ever seen her do is when she cursed a Highway patrol officer to see and feel insects crawling all over himself as punishment for yelling at her, being rude, and as she perceived it, mean.   

Delirium is generally sweet, and she does not like people who are rude, loud, or mistreat women.   

I’m only posting this now because I know that someone, somehow, some way will be offended by her very existence. 

I know there’s a weird motto here on Tumblr that “If you have to defend something as not being ‘ist’ it probably is” but here’s the thing.  I’ve seen too many false “Ableist” comments here on Tumblr.

I am visually impaired.  I have very poor eyesight.  It is considered borderline legally blind.  It’s optic nerve based. (Glasses will not help.)  I can read, can detect color very well.  I just can’t read fine print or see distance very well.  I’m very, very near sighted.   I will never be allowed to drive.  

As a child I dealt with some very real ableism.  In Kindergarten I was allowed on the old rusty jungle gym on the playground but for some reason they thought I would fall off the nice wooden one that all my friends played on.    

A song of  “Three blind (My last name here)” sung by other kids became a thing.   And “Oh, say can (my first name here) See…” (to the National Anthem).  At one point my bookbag was stolen and turned up later with the word “Cyclops” sprawled across it in permanent marker.    THIS is Ableism.

Now for what Tumblr does to the term:  

So when I see Tumblr posts ranting that Daredevil (Matt Murdock) is Ableist for calling Punisher crazy I get a little annoyed.   If a blind man calls another man crazy for killing people that’s NOT the blind man being ableist!  “But… But ‘Crazy is an offensive word!”  Pardon the blind guy, who was being chained up by a serial killer, for not being sensitive enough to gently say “mentally ill” at that exact moment.  

Here on Tumblr I was calling Ableist for saying that Rumplestiltskin (who walks with a limp and a cane) in the TV show Once Upon a Time, has a disability.  The reason?   Apparently it’s because the character smashed his own ankle and since he did it to himself that means the character forfeits the right to be considered as having a disability.  And so it’s Ableist to say he has a disability.  

Neil Gaiman was called Ableist on here for correcting the typo of an antisemite who sent him an anti-Jewish rant, somehow unware that Neil Gaiman is Jewish.   HOW the Hell does it count as ableist to correct the typo of an anti-semite?   It’s not just the disabled who make typos and many (with eyesight problems or dyslexia or even learning disabilities) prefer to be corrected, they don’t want mistakes left alone. It’s embarrassing, more embarrassing than being corrected, for most of us.

Guillermo del Toro was called ableist for having the mute character in The Shape of Water end up with the aquatic man (even though he turns out to be a God…)

He was also called ableist for not casting a real deaf girl in the role, even though the character is mute, not deaf, and finding a mute actress who can dance, swim, and has no modern accoutrements to compensate, uses ASL (American Sign language specifically), and fits the physical body type Guillermo del Toro wanted, is pretty rare.  And I have yet to come across an actual mute person complain about this.  Just able-bodied people bitching in self-righteousness on behalf of those who never asked for it and often LIKE the movie.

“But the disabled girl ended up with a monster!”  No, the woman with a disability ended up with a God.   She had no interest in human men.  And it had nothing to do with her disability.    

My point is when you throw around the term this loosely (and it’s usually perfectly able bodied people doing it, thinking they’re doing a favor to those with disabilities) the term starts to get diminished and lose meaning.

So I sincerely HOPE we won’t get “Delirium is ableist!” complaints when the Sandman series starts but I know this site too well at this point…

[goth-giraffe]

🖊 + your cyborg character (I mean? Cyborg?? Tell me more! xD) 🖊 + for any of your OCs (I'm just really curious to get to know more of your characters :D) I wold also suggest another one for Meredith... (if you want to ramble more about her xD)

Oh awesome! Yeah I always love to ramble about my OCs, I just wish I had more motivation to draw them haha xD Maybe this’ll help though- thank you!

Kaedyn~

Ah- my cyborg character is a pretty underdeveloped, for instance I’m not entirely sure on all their technological enhancements. They basically have really fancy prosthetics in place of at least one leg and one arm too. But anyway I’d love to ramble about them anyway! Their name is Kaedyn and they’re nonbinary! (I use neutral or feminine pronouns with them, I’m currently trying to use they/them but sometimes I slip up- it’s mostly because of my indecisiveness, but I don’t know, maybe they’re genderfluid?) And they live in a futuristic setting which is part of the reason they’re a bit underdeveloped compared to some of my other OCs, because I’m a dummy that wants to create characters in weird settings in theory, but then you have to come up with all these things about the setting to get to know the character better so… haha yeah.

But anyway! Kaedyn is really smart about some things but also very competitive. Not the type to back down from a dare. Whether it’s eating something gross or fighting the Hulk, to be honest… (And that may have had something to do with them losing a couple limbs, but who knows.) They call themself a cyborg mostly to intimidate people to be honest… there are still a lot of prejudices about cyborgs. And they do have at least two fully functioning robotic limbs so. Anyway they get kind of a “Don’t mess with a cyborg” attitude when people look at them weird or are just in general being rude.

They’re dating Numbers, who’s kind of the opposite of Kaedyn - she’s more of a brooding genius type. And she works for her eccentric aunt’s robotics company. They supply robotic prosthetics and other medical stuff like that, and yeah I imagine that’s how they met each other- Kaedyn calls in for tech support and talks past the remote control hologram or whatever, and immediately starts flirting when they start talking to an alive being… which was Numbers. Numbers speaks exclusively in number code though, and she doesn’t talk to a lot of real people (she lives with robots and her aunt Madlin) because a lot of people don’t understand her. But Kaedyn is smart, especially with mathematics and deciphering things so it doesn’t take them long to understand, and they think Numbers is adorable so, basically their relationship is the “extrovert takes introvert under their wing” trope.

Anyway, they like inventing things together. Kaedyn has a degree in engineering (or something? details fuzzy, sorry) and loves tinkering with stuff or rather tearing stuff apart pbbt and Numbers brainstorms schematics for new robots and stuff. Kaedyn is actually really smart, you just don’t see that a lot with their beat stuff up until it’s fixed attitude. (I don’t know if anyone here has seen The Red Green Show but Kaedyn’s motto? “If it ain’t broke you’re not trying!”) Besides that they cuddle or deal with Numbers’ mood swings… and eventually Madlin disappears and they have to take care of this prototype robot which is basically an experiment in artificial mental illness. …Which is not as fun as it sounds. xD

Oh. And Kaedyn refers to Numbers exclusively as “babe”. (Numbers is a nickname but her real name is actually undecided so…… Kaedyn just gives her another nickname haha.)

Okay. I get the feeling I am making absolutely no sense, I’m sorry. Mostly this is like, a vague comic idea I had? Mad scientist aunt disappears, no one really knows where. Her introverted niece has to take care of a prototype robot who thinks he’s a child and is kind of scared of everything… and cope with her partner who picks fights with anyone. …Yeah when I think about this goofy little story I for some reason imagine them in a black and white comic style. Like, Kaedyn’s got their tools and a broken robot on the table and they’re like “Babe where’s my wrench” while they’re scratching their head with it. Very smart but also very stupid is one of my favourite tropes ahaha  

Okay I’m not sure who to ramble about next?? My characters are so underdeveloped, good golly.

Nicholas~

I’m gonna ramble about him even though I have seriously been thinking he needs a lot of work, I’ve actually been considering giving him a new name but, anyway.

He’s in a weird fantasy setting and he’s a dragon! His race of dragons though are basically humans that have can transform into dragons. Except the horns, tails, wing stumps, and some of them have weird eyes. But dragons have some magic and if they master it they can hide those things while they’re in their human form. Nicholas himself though has really only figured out how to get rid of the wing stumps. Still sleeps on his tummy out of habit though.

Nicholas is probably the most innocent character I have, to be honest. He’s very soft- he really likes flowers, braiding his hair or having his hair braided, also he’s very curious about humans. Which is weird for dragons, most of them think of humans as either very dangerous or mid-afternoon snacks. But Nicholas was raised differently, so he’s curious. Not to mention lonely. Dragons are actually pretty rare and he only ever met his parents, but he doesn’t remember his father very well (who died when he was young) and since his mother died in his teens he’s been alone.

I imagine at some point he befriends a witch and they possibly become a love interest for him but this is where it gets fuzzy and undecided. I do like to imagine he meets a human character and becomes close to them, I just haven’t really decided how that happens or if he meets just one witch or a family/household or what. But he also finds out he likes poetry, but he’s illiterate so he has to have someone read it to him. I imagine this in medieval times, so not many people can read but that’s also why I imagine a witch character because. Learning from spellbooks I guess. And just generally not really being part of the human population… and not being scared of dragons. Even though Nicholas would probably not scare many people pbbbt. xD Yeah, anyway. He likes to be read to.

I don’t know, most of my characters are just kind of vague ideas. He’s just a cute little forest creature who happens to be able to grow really big and breath fire. xD I’ve thought about making a more modern AU which would probably be easier to develop but yeah I really can’t decide.

Anyway, except for a couple forgettable doodles I haven’t actually drawn Nicholas… but fortunately, I do have an awesome drawing of him by @iridiscreate! I hope to do a serious drawing of him myself sometime, but I’m actually okay with that being his main reference for now- he looks very pretty! :D

Meredith~

Oh I’ll pretty much always take any chances to ramble about Meredith! Haha she’s the OC I know the most about to be honest xD

The first time her hair was cut short was because her mom was tired of having to chase her down to brush it. So there was a time when she was pretty young that her parents made her wear these big bows in her hair when she went out… she hated them, she still hates them, and her mom still tries to convince her to wear them when she comes to visit, because she cut her hair again. (Yeah… she has some family issues…)

Okay, Meredith loves music. She has kind of a complicated relationship with it, but she loves music. She usually has classical music playing in the background at her apartment, while she’s reading or whatever. She also plays violin, but she’s weird about that, she doesn’t usually listen to it when she plays (she wears ear plugs), and she mostly uses it as an outlet when her emotions get the better of her. She was much more enthusiastic about violin when she was a girl. She’s always had a love of music, it kind of runs in her family. She originally wanted to play piano like her grandfather (who was a singer/pianist in a bar) but her father wouldn’t allow that. Though when the violin option was allowed she was very excited, and when she was little she dreamed of being a concert violinist. Her parents mostly favoured violin because of the discipline it would require to learn and practice, and their past attempts to discipline her? Ehh, not so great. xD In the end though her parents killed her enthusiasm for violin. Their habit of displaying their daughters’ talents to their friends but otherwise having little interest was a bit discouraging… and for Meredith, very damaging. The older she got and the more she thought about it she felt her parents were disinterested in her from the start, so that led to a very rocky teenage years. (For instance she spent ages two to six (ish) being sent to her grandparents’ house a lot. Not with her sisters, no, just her- because she was being difficult and her parents were tired of her. So that hurt when she really thought about it.) So… anyway now she kind of loves and hates violin. Now when she plays it still brings her back to being the trophy her parents preferred to keep on the back of the shelf, but it also brings her back to being the little girl who was in love with music… so. Mixed feelings there. …

Did I have way too many Meredith feels while I was writing this and have to edit out most of my emotions later? NO absolutely not I’m not crying you are SHUSH

Oof I know I’ve already rambled a lot but one more thing. Just a cute little fact, not exactly about Meredith but still. She is her nephew Aidan’s favourite aunt. He’s like four years old and has blonde hair with bright blue tips, because he begged his mother (Meredith’s sis Jessie) to dye his hair blue. Anyway yeah, Meredith is pretty good with kids… they probably like her because she’s so weird. Funny though, because with her looking pretty much like the insomniac goth mess she is, she definitely doesn’t give off any maternal vibes to anyone else she meets… except kids. (It’s the blue hair again, it has magical powers. Haha okay I’m kidding. xD)

Anyway! Sorry for getting this answered so late ahh!! I swear I wasn’t avoiding this ask (I was actually very excited about it) but I kept getting interrupted in the middle of rambling so.. yeah. Anyway thank you again for the ask!! Sorry I rambled an ungodly amount!! xD

Send me a 🖊 to make me ramble about my OCs! (yeah no kidding about the rambling)

[theoi-crow]

Hey! i don't know if you care to answer this so feel free to ignore but i was just wondering how you met your partner? i'm a sucker for a good love story as i am amidst my own at the moment, y'all two remind me of my own relationship and i'd love hearing a bit more about how y'all met!

Hi!!!

Oh my gods this question made me smile as soon as I saw it! I also showed it to Sky who blushed and was being super cute so thank you for that! 🥰

WARNING!!!! Get ready for the sappiest thing I have ever written in my life and because I'm a sucker for this, I'm adding GIFs to really give you a sense of my feelings!

Before Sky (@skylerisgay aka @delicatestar <- spiritual blog) came into my life, I had no desire to be with anyone. I had an "I was born alone so I will die alone" kind of motto.

As I got older I wrote a REALLY LONG letter. In the letter, I described the kind of qualities I wanted a life mate to possess and then I lost it.

Before losing my letter, I held it close to my heart, closed my eyes and made my wish to whichever god was listening (I will later learn Aphrodite was with me that night.)

Years past and nothing happened but I felt this confidence deep in my heart that assured me my person was out there. My family and friends even insisted I start dating but I refused because in my heart of hearts, I knew my person was looking for me too.

Then one day I had this OVERWHELMING feeling to get back into a fandom I used to be obsessed with.

I had ANOTHER OVERWHELMING feeling to create a role play account on Twitter (of all places) and search for roleplay friends, which was weird since prior to that I had never roleplayed before.

That's when I came across Sky's account.

I felt an arrow go through my heart which was odd given that their roleplay account had no personal information whatsoever. Everything described the character they roleplayed. Even the icon they were using was the same being used by 20 other roleplayers.

There was nothing that told me anything about this person and yet I felt this electricity sparking my soul. My heart kept screaming "it's them! It's the person I was looking for!" So I sent them a message in character, followed them but they never replied.

I then convinced myself the feeling of being shot by Cupid's arrow had all been in my head.

I found a roleplaying community and continued roleplaying. Life went on.

I met and had been roleplaying with a different person RP-ing as the same character Sky was playing (with the same icon). Because I played a rival character, so I was used to their tweets but one day they sent a tweet that shot electricity all over me.

I looked at their username and it wasn't the person I had been RP-ing with but Sky! We roleplayed and our characters flowed well together.

After months of pretending to be characters from our shared fandom, we started talking out of character and found we had A LOT in common (even though as people, we are complete opposites).

After a few more weeks of tweeting we started texting, and then talking on the phone. We talked for hours...

But I had really bad PTSD back then and it can get in the way of relationships if not treated properly. Since I was never able to afford help for mine, there were a lot of bumps in our relationship.

Because my PTSD had a habit of pushing people away, it had convinced me I was incapable of love or being loved.

I didn't want to waste Sky's time because they were an amazing person who deserved their own happiness so I started to distance myself from them. I expected them to be okay with it but they were not going to let my fear bully me out of this relationship.

Thats when they told me about the first time they saw my tweets. "It's going to sound weird and I want you to know I'm not the kind bc of person who would say this but...it almost felt like being shot by Cupid's arrow? Like feeling electricity I everytime we interact."

As a show of trust, they sent me a picture of what they looked like, and I swear on every god I work with, when I first saw Sky my life flashed before my eyes. I saw us laughing, loving, traveling (even though I had never left my little California corner) and growing old together. It felt like I was having a heart attack.

They were coming to a convention I usually went to and I was so nervous that I had convinced myself not to go but after feeling my heart ache, I closed my eyes and could feel Aphrodite say "go for it." So I met up with them.

We hit it off in person, kept visiting eachother and eventually moved in together.

A few years later Sky was cleaning an old closet of mine when they found my very long letter (the one where I wrote the qualities I wanted in a life mate) and started to cry because...

It described them perfectly.

Sky kept the letter and read it to themselves on days when my PTSD was particularly hard.

When I was able to finally afford it, I went to therapy and worked hard with the letter in my pocket to give me strength because I believed in us and I wasn't going to let my PTSD push Sky away the way it usually pushed everyone else.

I'm happy to say that after 10 wonderful years of Aphrodite binding us together, Sky and I will be traveling Europe in a Disney Cruise to celebrate!

And that's our story!

I am also a sucker for love stories so if you are up for it, please share yours!

Also thank you so much for having me type this. I feel like Aphrodite wanted me to take a step back and appreciate what she has done and continues to do for our relationship which has been beyond my wildest dreams!

May the gods bless your happiness the way this ask blessed me!

-PS I forgot to mention that we got married back in 2013! ^^

[taronfanfic]

Rewind

Masterlist

Chapter 5

You felt like an imposter as you stood with a towel around you and pulled open his chest of drawers in search of some clothes to borrow. Starting in the middle felt like a safe bet and you pulled out some grey trackie bottoms that looked to be a skinny fit and not too long either. You considered wearing your shorts under them but knew it’d look ridiculous so you had to brave it and find his underwear. The top right drawer was already ajar and stuffed full of socks so you tugged open the left one and then took a moment. You daren’t rummage to the bottom for a pair he might not wear as often so simply took the Navy boxer shorts that were on top. Holding them out in front of you felt weird, pulling them up your legs even more so. You stuck with your pyjama t-shirt so you could cling on to some sense of comfort and put Taron’s hoodie back on over the top. As you stood in front of his mirror and twisted your damp hair up into a topknot you finally started to relax. You had to pull yourself together and force everything that had happened to the back of your mind. This wasn’t you. You were the girl who could flirt a guy into bed in the space of a few hours. So Taron came with more pressure than normal, and you were both sober, but that didn’t mean it was impossible. Maybe you could start again and try and test the water with a clearer head. You had time on your side after all. Knowing you’d be spending the rest of the day wearing Taron’s boxers was actually quite thrilling. Knowing he knew about it too gave you an added sense of confidence.

Taron was sat on the sofa beneath the blanket you’d slept under the night before, engrossed in a Sunday morning cooking show. You sat down next to him and lifted the edge of the blanket up before sliding under it and closer to him, making sure to leave a comfortable gap of personal space for now.

“Better?” He asked softly as he pulled his attention back from the tv.

“Much. Sorry for getting in a bit of a state earlier. You’ve been nothing but kind to me and I don’t feel like I’ve made the best first impression, so maybe we can rewind and start again?”

“Sure.” He smiled gently. “Not that you made a bad first impression compared to your friends.”

“I’m amazed you even offered to let me stay after witnessing the company I keep!”

“Let’s just say you’ve proved me to be right so far on the first and second impression combined…” He teased.

“Go on…” You encouraged.

“Well when it looked like you were going for a quieter night out I thought calm, sensible, responsible…”

“Boring?” You filled in the gap for him and he chuckled to himself.

“But then the next morning… impulsive, daring, confident, adventurous.”

“and now?”

“Well responsible is definitely out the window! I still see hints of the others though, just more mellow. You’re endearing.”

“Endearing...” You mused back to him. “I’ve thought the same about you.”

“Really?!” He looked very taken aback.

“Generous, thoughtful, warm… confusing at times but that’s probably more my end.” You giggled.

“I always presume people just think I’m a bit of a dickhead. I get loud and nosey when I’m drunk. Talk to anyone about anything and it usually gets me in trouble one way or another.”

“Well you’ve been good to me, so there’s no dickhead thoughts in sight.” Tagging ‘thoughts about your dick on the other hand…’ on the end of your sentence was too tempting but you managed to bite your tongue.

“That’s what I like to hear. So if I grab a t-shirt are you up for some brunch now?”

“Yes, we’ll scruff it together and everyone else can just deal with it.”

“That’s my girl!” He placed his hand to your knee as he got up from the sofa and the physical contact combined with him calling you his girl had your head spinning all over again.

***

Taron took you to a small independent place that was hidden away off the main road. The girl serving behind the counter greeted him warmly and started to grab a coffee cup off the shelf behind her for him.

“Just hang on a minute there, Kirsty.” He called out before looking back for you and ushering you forward so you could get a look at the blackboard menu which filled the entire back wall of the small café. “Usual for me and whatever this one fancies.” ‘You’ your mind was filling in the blanks with everything you knew you shouldn’t be saying out loud.

“Could I get the eggs benedict and a breakfast tea please… and I promise I’ll pay you back.” You added on for Taron as you snaked your arm around his back whilst squidging out from the counter to get to a free table.

“It’s just brunch, you don’t need to pay me back.” Taron sat down opposite you a moment later. “Don’t try and argue it with me either.”

“You’re very good at insisting.”

“My mother taught me well.” The photo of him with his arm around his mum’s waist from his tinder profile appeared in your mind and you smiled to yourself at the thought of him being a bit of a mummy’s boy.

“I can’t believe I didn’t know this café existed when I’ve lived so close to it for so long!”

“I can’t believe it either, I’ve been in here nearly every weekend since I moved in. Kirsty’s Full English is the best hangover cure going.”

“When did you move here? I’ve had my place for about 2 years now but it’s only recently that I remember seeing you around.” You decided to stick to common ground. It would have been too easy to push the conversation onto a topic you knew he liked and way too obvious that you’d seen his tinder profile.

“Only a couple of months ago. I’ve moved around a bit in London but come from Wales originally, all the family are still back there.”

“Oh nice! Think you’ll stick around here for long or do you see yourself moving back to Wales at some point?” Kirsty brought your drinks to your table, followed by your food and you both happily tucked in whilst the conversation continued.

“I really don’t know on that one. I guess it’ll depend on who I end up settling down with and where they’d like to be too, so I wouldn’t rule it out. But right now I’m loving being here. What about you?”

“Yeah, I was always drawn to London and it’s nice to have everything on your doorstep. It’s hard to imagine living somewhere else but I guess circumstances will change eventually.”

“You don’t sound too keen on the idea of settling down…” A small frown spread across Taron’s forehead.

“It’s literally the dream. Just seems impossible to find the right guy, and when you stop and think about it for too long it gets you down.”

“Stick to having fun instead. It’ll happen when it happens.”

“That your motto?”

“Yeah.” He laughed. “Although knowing my luck I’ll miss it happening and only realise when it’s too late.”

“Better late than never.” There was an awkward pause as you both looked up from your plates to each other.

“Anyway.” Taron added nervously. “We should change the subject before we get too ahead of ourselves. We’re not on a first date after all!” He laughed before reaching for his coffee.

“No, we’re not.” You agreed. “Would be a bit weird to be on a first date whilst wearing the guy’s boxers!” Taron struggled to swallow his coffee as you deliberately placed the image of you in his boxers into the front of his mind. It was the kind of reaction you’d hoped for. Just because you weren’t technically on a date, it didn’t mean you couldn’t flirt as if you were.  

“I’d totally forgotten about that!” He finally got his words out. “How are you liking them?”

“Surprisingly comfy… very roomy though.” You mused back as you shuffled around in your seat and uncrossed your legs.

“Really? They never feel that way to me…” Taron replied with innocence until you tilted your head at him with raised eyebrows. “Oh come on, you can’t start playing games with me and not expect to get anything back.”

“Just testing the water.” You smirked.

“Hot enough for you?” The arrogance you’d seen in the lift that first night returned to his posture and you struggled to find even a single word.

“Plenty.”

“Maybe we should turn this into a first date…”

Tag List: @egerton-sweetie @amanda-tallmadge @lizziespidiepridie​ @leanimal90 @anantheminmyheart22@aynsleywalker@bohemianrhapsody86@butterfliesslugswormsandothershi @manners-maketh-taron@livingincompletesilence @marvelmakeuplover@ohsosmutty@misspygmypie @manners-maketh-a-kingsman@courtmr @baileythepenguin

[ziggory]

Riverdale Liveblog 3x14, “Fire Walk With Me”

I have to let it be known that I love the absolute shit out of Fire Walk With Me so this episode is already a disappointment because I know it’s not going to touch those heights. Like unless some David Bowie impersonator phases through the walls of Pop’s Diner while all the teens are caught in the throw of a Fizzle Rocks inflicted drug haze while Angelo Badalamenti’s score pumps through the neon haze...FUCKING KEEP IT

My motto as of late is for Veronica to just kill her parents. Morality is a construct on this show. I’m sure the judge will look the other way

How many plot relevant lines have they crammed into the Previously On segment

WHY ARE YOU HURTING ME WITH THIS REMINDER OF JOAQUIN’S DEATH

This weird confirmation that after Kevin got kidnapped into the woods, and his second boyfriend LEFT TOWN AGAIN, that none of his friends or his dad checked up on him just feeds my angsty little hole of a brain. But also can they put a new record on because I’m tired of this song

So Kevin’s not involved in the LGBTQIA group huh. Fun. 

The sound people have also given up on this show

WEATHERBEE IS MY FAVORITE INCOMPETENT ADMINISTRATOR

AMERICAN. EXCESS. is the closest the show will ever get to criticizing capitalism

What’s so secret about the most popular night hangout in town

I need to see more of Toni in this outfit because it’s everything to the point that I have to laugh at Cheryl fishing for compliments

Maybe if one of you checked in on him he wouldn’t have felt the need to resort TO A FUCKING CULT. 

Okay, well someone just drank the whole pitcher *sighs*. I’ve lowkey wondered if a variation of this conversations would ever happen post-cruising in S2, but this isn’t my ideal of this conversation. Also, Kevin’s unfortunate undercut is very strong in this scene

If Jughead was a Smash character, the finger pointing would be his special attack

Honestly, I drew shit like that in high school, and all my classmates thought I’d become a future serial bomber, but instead I ended up being an average citizen of society!

KEVIN, WHAT THE FUCK!/1//!?! SOMEONE YANK THESE KIDS OUT OF THIS FUCKING FARM. I’m crying

Lmao, I’ve been wondering who this sketch artist would be playing, and THIS is what he was for??

Veronica, you were fucking advocating this for-profit prison idea LAST FUCKING EPISODE. YOU ARE ALSO THE SHADY ONE

The last time Josie and Betty interacted was 2x02. It’s been a whole ass fucking seasonal gap

YES AT THIS RECOGNITION OF HIS EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY. And I will take these fucking scraps of McKeller sibling stuff. WHEN DID SIERRA AND JOSIE MOVE INTO THE KELLER HOUSE!?!??! FUCK YOU, SHOW

BROTHER KEVIN REMINDS ME OF WHEN ONTD SAID CASEY LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE FROM MORMON BOYZ (FYI, if you look up “Mormon” in the gif search you WILL get a porn gif) (ANOTHER FYI, Andrew Rannells was the voice of Archie in Archie’s Weird Mysteries which is a better show than Riverdale)

Honestly walking on coals isn’t that wild. But then again, it’s usually not a teenager leading other teenagers to do it. And another honestly is that Kevin is looking good while doing it! Cult victim but make it fashion, tbh

Betty, you should record shit and then just post it on social media like the average teen does. This is what Worldstar is for. 

You know, I always wondered what it’d be like if Kevin found out about Betty mopping up buckets of blood and hiding bodies like he talking about Joaquin doing. But not like this. Just give me the whole fucking monkey at this point

The Serpents are just not a gang anymore. This is the opposite of what a gang is. Now you’re all tools of the government!!!

JOAQUIN’S BB BRO!?!?! Awwww, this brings me back to stories about Joaquin having an OC older brother. I even think one was named Ricky

Well now I”m genuinely crying. This show doesn’t deserve my tears, and it never deserved Luke

Veronica kicking the adults out is probably the first scene of hers I’ve genuinely enjoyed in a long time outside of shipping scenes

Arsonist Betty isn’t as good as Arsonist Cheryl, but I’ll take it.

A literal firewalk was not what I had in mind, but I guess that’s all you can expect from these writers

[ffiona56]

Hols May 2019

Monday 20th May 2019: managed to catch the train from Notts to Skegness (by the skin of my teeth). Arrived in lovely sunshine, a couple of hours early for the guest house, but the lovely lady said I could check in anyway as the room was ready. Nice part of Skegness actually: opposite the sand dunes and the other side of the clock tower to where I normally stay. Dumped the bag, quick coffee and out for a wander. 

First stop: Jacket Potato on the Pier. This is always my first stop lol. Suitably nourished, I took a walk up the main road, ducking in and out of the gift shops; my frugalistic motto is - it's probably cheaper at the next shop. Also had a look in the multitude of charity shops whilst on my wanders. Later on, I took a tour of the sand dunes, which was really lovely. Not even been down this end of Skegness before, strangely! Tide was out so a nice stretch of beach to walk/paddle down. Had a sit down in the dunes and just watched the ocean - so relaxing.

So you REALLY have to do the pier whilst in Skegness lol - (I even have a loyalty card for my tickets hahaha). Checked the balance, but didn't see anything I wanted in the gift area, so added a few more points to the total instead. Might save up for something BIG lol.

Didn't really do anything spectacular on my flying visit, but it was so lovely just to see the sea again, and visit a place I feel at home in.

Tuesday 21st: caught the 10.15am train back to Nottingham, then straight down to St Pancras, arriving around 2ish. It's been over 40 years since I visited London, so I was really looking forward to the trip. Found the hotel really quickly 2 - 3 min walk from the station! However, it was in a lovely, quiet square. You would never believe Euston Road was only a few hundred yards away! Room was small, but perfectly adequate. Bathroom was immaculate! But that bed....OMG a 3/4 bed with 3 massive soft pillows! Comfortable is not the word....I want one!! Yet again, dumped the bag, quick coffee, and decided to walk along Euston Road first, to see what was close by. With the help of Google of course!

British Library was my first stop! I'd been looking forward to this since I booked the holiday. Very imposing place; floor to ceiling books. Loads of students with laptops inside; all beavering away conscientiously. You had to have a pass to access most of the stuff, but just looking around the place took my breath away! Sat outside the main entrance for a while later; it was a lovely sun trap with a great view. Chatted to a nice lady who asked where I had my hair done (LOL). Watched all the busy, busy commuters rushing around whilst we were sunbathing hahaha

Multitude of sirens blasting along Euston Road and lots of police presence, around 6ish, so cowardy custard (me) decided to call it a day and go back to the hotel - with food of course!

Wednesday 22nd: put my brave girl knickers on, and decided to do the Underground. Let me explain - I had NO INTENTION of using the tube. Horrible thing. Don't do underground. Don't do crowds. Don't do not knowing where the heck I'm going. BUT I wanted to go to Camden Market, but not arrive footsore. One stop on the Northern Line. Scanned my Oyster Card and went through the barriers like a pro! Got on the right train (lol), and off we went. It was really cool LOL. Loved it!! My new favourite pastime! Who knew??

Oh Camden Market was fabulous! My first (of only 2, suprisingly) encounter with a slightly eccentric character was on the way here hahaha. Nice man. Stopped me in the street, and proclained 'Jesus loves you'. I thanked him and continued.

Took a couple of videos walking through the cobbles; some amazing stalls - especially the Indian ones. They smelled SO good too! Found the canal, and walked the path for a while. Weirdly though, I seemed to end up where I started lol. My sense of direction is really shit! Bought a few trinkets and went on my way. Suddenly I had the urge to go see some non-humans. I figured the zoo was the best place for that, so I walked all the way to Regents Park (with the help of Google directions) and paid the £30 entrance fee. Actually, that was the minimum I thought it would cost - I was prepared for more to be honest.

Highlights: 1. In with the Lemurs - they really don't have a problem with humans! It was lovely to see them so close!! 2. The tiger slinking into the water for a drink and a cool off. His little face was a picture, bless his heart! 3. Penguins! They were really showing off lol; swimming past us back and forth. I swear they were grinning!

Spent a couple of hours at the zoo; bought a bag of crisps for £1 (still smarting from that one!). Found out the nearest tube was Camden Town, so started the long walk back from where I came. Back to the hotel for a snack, then off in the opposite direction to the British Museum.

Now this I had been looking forward to for ages! Some of the artefacts gave me a strange feeling to be honest; particularly the african ones. I felt I shouldn't be taking photos or 'something would get me' hahahaha. (I did though) I think I've been reading way too many horror stories! Nevertheless, they really do have some weird kind of aura about them. The Chinese and Indian sections were no less compelling; not in a 'woooooooo' kind of way, but more 'aahhhhhh wow' if you catch my drift. I've always been interested in Chinese history; I love Chinese vases, ornaments, buddha's, jade figurines - you name it. Fascinating. The Egyptian section was really cool too. Cannot believe how OLD some of the artefacts are for pete's sake - 6000BC! I'm speechless. After a few hours here, I felt extremely educated in matters of history, geography and a number of other subjects! Yay me. Give us a mortar!

Bought food yet again (the stalls near Kings Cross station are fantastic!) mostly bread and cheese lol. Seem to be living mostly on bread and cheese (I did buy some tomatoes, apples and bananas though) Back to hotel after an amazing day.

Thursday 23rd: last day but determined to make it count! No rush to get home, so checked out of the hotel at 9am, but was able to leave my bag till I caught the train later in the day. First stop, Underground Map lol. Had a browse, and thought I would go to Trafalgar Square. So this was the sardine tube trip hahahaha. I had already been warned not to go on the tube before 9.30am by my son, but did I listen? Me: ok I won't. Also Me: I'm going anyway. Actually I just wanted to see what it was like at rush hour LOL. Busy. Packed. But suprisingly not smelly (considering the number of peeps).

Trafalgar Square was beautiful! I knew Nelson's Column was tall, but nothing prepares you for seeing it for the first time! Had a job fitting it into a photo lol - I think you need to be half a mile away! Fountains were gorgeous too. Sat a while, but conscious that I wanted to see more of London before the day was up. Back to the Underground Map.

So the lady in the hotel had said it was Polling day, so where better than the Borough of Westminster? She told me to wave if I got in front of the cameras LOL. I saw the cameras, but used my avoidance tactics! Walked up to Downing Street instead - caught a glimpse of the London Eye through the trees across the road, so at least I saw it! Huge security and police presence throughout Westminster area - don't think I've ever seen so many! Downing Street was a bit boring - steel bars and no admittance. But at least I saw it lol.

Took a walk around, and came upon Birdcage Walk. Noticed a lot of people around and also some mounted uniformed chaps, so stood by the railings to see what was going on. OMG the amazing Horse Guards Parade!! What a wonderful sight to behold; marching band and marching guards; a true British experience. Made me proud to be a Brit to be honest, and I've never really been THAT patriotic. Seeing and hearing the parade just gives you this wonderful feeling!! It was so cool. Loved it! Yay the Brits!

Time starting to move on now, so back to my Tube Map lol. Decided on Tower Bridge for my last stop before home. So this tube trip was where I met my second strangeling! Very tall, long grey hair, long grey beard, massive black bible on his knee; spouting Corinthians at whoever would listen. AND he sat next to me hahahaha. These biblical types do seem to like me! Or maybe they are trying to save me.....who knows!

So arrived at Tower Hill station, and a short walk brought me my first glimpse of Tower Bridge. Wow it was compelling! I was pretty gobsmacked at the sight of it; I think I took about a million photos lol. To be honest, when I was in my teens and twenties, I didn't really look around much when visiting London. There was always a reason for going - usually either our band gigging, or watching other bands. I guess that's why these landmarks seem amazing to me now. I have turned into a real tourist!

So back to Kings Cross - and a last visit to the bread and cheese stalls hahaha. Needed some sustenance on the way back! And so back into St Pancras with it's beautiful ceiling; love this station! Up the escalator and onto the train. Goodbye London - I think I packed quite a bit into my few days! Loved every moment.