#Valentines Day 2021 Wishes

[hanafubukki]

Twst valentine merch sooooonn

They will probably start popping up starting tomorrow or the day after.

I can’t wait 🩵🩵🩵

[featherlyfriends]

Rowan and Poppy on a coffee date ❤️

[project-sekai-facts]

someone asked for the full list

don't question what i use tiermaker for

Tier 1: As stated in today's fact, Shizuku and Haruka can be considered the most attractive characters in the game, as multiple characters have shown attraction to them. Shizuku moreso than Haruka, but there's not too much of a difference to separate the tiers.

Tier 2: These characters have all been stated somewhere to be attractive.

Mafuyu is considered to be outstanding in all fields, including appearance. It's occassionally commented that she is quite pretty. Ichika and KAITO's first kizuna title is "Ikemen while playing", ikemen meaning handsome or cool. Ena has a Twitter account for selfies that has a reasonable following, and she often gets comments saying that she's pretty or cute. Len has a similar sort of idol aura to Haruka does, and is referred to as 'princely'.

Tier 3: These characters are never explicitly stated in the game to be attractive, but you can work it out.

A few background characters in Petit SEKAI Episode 9 mention that Akito and Toya are hot. Given that the miniseries is non-canon and a gag show it's up for debate how true this is, although it is a believable detail, hence why they're in this tier.

As for Rui, we have to look at the Valentine's Virtual Live from 2021 (wiki screenshots below). Keep in mind here that Rui is not popular in school at all and doesn't have many friends at this point in the game. He mentions that he received a few boxes of chocolate in his shoe locker on Valentine's Day, which admittedly could be platonic. However, the fact that this continues on into a joke about Tsukasa trying to claim that he got chocolates too before revealing that he got friendzoned by multiple girls (more on that in a second), makes it seem more likely that these weren't platonic. Linking back to the fact that he's not popular and doesn't really have many friends, he's probably pretty good-looking.

Tier 4: An being scouted as a model was an important part of the plot of Wishing For Your Happiness Upon The Blue Sky, and it's mentioned in an area conversation that Kanade has been talent scouted for modelling before.

Tier 5: Full disclosure that probably all of the MMJ VSingers are either pretty or cute, the ones mentioned here are just the ones I remember it being stated/implied. In the April Fools 2022 area conversation with the Lukas, MMJ!Luka says that WxS!Luka is very cute. N25!Luka calls her MMJ variant out for calling herself cute, and MMJ!Luka says that she herself is cute. (TL)

Kohane is mainly referred to as cute by An, which is biased, but other characters have pointed this fact out before as well, so she qualifies for this tier.

Mizuki loves cute clothes and accessories and always tries to look cute. I believe a few other characters have called them cute, but unfortunately the only instance I can actually remember is one transphobic faceless background character saying "you can't tell and they're super cute".

Also Minori and Airi are here because they're idols and have been called cute because that's part of being an idol I suppose.

Tier 6: Yes he gets his own tier because it's funny. This guy runs on rule of funny like 50% of the time. Anyway, as mentioned earlier, in the 2021 Valentine's Virtual Live, he gets annoyed when he hears Rui talking about receiving (implied romantic) chocolate and tries to claim that he too received (implied confession) chocolate, before saying too much and revealing that he only received friend chocolates that girls gave out to all the other boys as well.

Tsukasa's actually a lot more popular than Rui and doesn't have the same "outcast" reputation, plus in his A Once-In-A-Lifetime Pandemonium card story, Ibuki (Taniyama) mentions that Tsukasa's friends from class are really popular with girls, and Rui's friends are surprised he's in that kinda crowd (not that Tsukasa quite gets it). What I'm saying is that he's in a crowd of popular guys that are good with women and he's failing in that second aspect. The reason why is never stated but considering the school's resident outcast is able to get Valentine's chocolate for probably no reason other than looks, it's safe to assume Tsukasa is maybe lacking in that field.

But.

I think two guys have flirted with him? One definitely has anyway. The other is more up for debate but was probably written with the intent of ship tease. Depends on how you choose to interpret it.

In other words on a scale of attractive to unattractive he's the secret 3rd option (appeals to the mlms).

[pinkyjulien]

━ I've heard stories 'bout the boy I used to be ━━ But I don't remember me before You

Valentin Da Silva | 178/??

Wish I had the words to describe how emotional it made me to see these two sets next to one another holyshit

Left one is from September 2021 It was a shitty time IRL and an hard time fandom-wise too, the escapism that was the community was slowly fading and becoming an hell on its own. Made a lot of mistakes cause I didn't know any better back then, dramas were escalating and I believe end of 2021 - early 2022 is when the fandom shattered in multiple pieces

Tho I was still motivated and modding, was really happy with his custom appearance, baby wearing his iconic Bitch crop top and his customized racing bolero

Right is from February this year (2024) and woah, he looks... more mature? Older somehow, considering I never made drastic change to his character- Definitely at peace

Both sets were outfit showcases, and despite both being shot in the badlands, during the golden hours, they have suuuch different moods overall

Friendo described it perfectly; Younger Val looks pensive, nervous about the night to come, staring at the setting sun in anticipation. While older Val looks at peace, calmly welcoming the dark that slowly crawl in between the desert's cracks

And we had a talk about how much of a mirror an OC can be? Reflecting our own thoughts, our own mood, without even realizing it until years later in moment like this, when comparing pictures

These past years has been rough, mentally and physically (talking about IRL here) and looking back, it definitely shows through Valentin

And looking at him now, even if I have some bad days here and there, even if I'm still in a transitional time, everything changing around me, I know that It's ok, that I'll be fine- That we will be fine

Alright I'm done hHHGHFH

[farfromstrange]

Lizzi’s Valentine’s Special & Follower Celebration

Dear Everyone,

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and I thought, since this silly little blog hit over 1.1k followers yesterday, I want to give you something special.

First of all, though, I want to thank you. I’ve been on here since (and I checked with the archive) July 19, 2022. I can't believe that it has been almost two years. I started watching Daredevil after watching Spider-Man: No Way Home in December of 2021 and hearing Matt Murdock say, "I'm a really good lawyer," after catching a brick. So, I started watching the show, and that was during a time I was really miserable. Mentally and physically, I wasn't in a good place, but after watching Daredevil for the first time and falling in love with Charlie Cox as a genuine person and an actor, it felt like I found a reason to keep going.

I started writing fanfiction again, which I kind of neglected because I felt like this hobby of mine wasn't going anywhere. I wasn't inspired at all until I watched the show. If I hadn't, I probably would not have gotten back into writing and using it as an outlet for my feelings, and I probably wouldn't be where I am today. Thanks to Charlie's portrayal of Matt Murdock, and watching his interviews, I felt like I could do the things that I love again and follow my dreams. He's the reason I chose to major in English. And while I owe him that much, I owe you guys here on Tumblr and AO3 even more.

When I first posted here, I didn't think people would even be interested in what I had to say and write. But then more and more people started visiting my profile, you guys started following me, and it kept me motivated to keep writing, even when I'm miserable, and I sometimes only post once every blue moon.

I feel so honored that you guys chose to follow a silly little blog run by a silly little 20-something-year-old whose first language isn't even English (but made it her entire personality), and who chose to write about traumatized dark-haired characters portrayed by Charlie Cox. I'm overwhelmed by the love you continue to show me, and every time one of you chooses to reblog or comment on one of my works, saying that it resonated with you, I feel like I'm doing something right. I'm sharing my ideas, my own experiences, my wishes, and even my deepest, darkest dreams through my writing like it's a fucking diary, and you eat it up every single time.

I'm just so glad that this community exists, as chaotic as it sometimes is, and that you chose to stick around, even when I suck at keeping promises sometimes. You keep teaching me new things about who I am, my writing, and how important it is to put myself first. I don't know if you've heard it lately, but you guys are incredible and I appreciate the hell out of every single one of you.

Thanks to Tumblr, I made lifelong friends (especially looking at you, @blackshadowswriter) and found like-minded people that made me feel less alone. That alone was worth making this account and continuing to post on here.

You may think that I'm being dramatic, but for someone who has never really experienced the kind of validation this community gives me, I want to celebrate this milestone. It means more to me than I can even put into words. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I love you all so much! Please, don't ever forget how amazing you are.

That being said, I've got some exciting things planned.

The other day, I found a folder in my Docs titled "the vault". I completely forgot about it because I usually keep my WIPs in a different folder. As it turns out, I made that folder for fics that I originally never planned to post, or ones that I'd finished but wasn't happy with. It’s many, but it’s a few. Some are deeper than others. I also jotted down rough ideas and outlines last year that I stuffed in there, some of which I've actually shared with you but never started working on. Until now. And the contents of that vault are what I want to give to you now.

INTRODUCING: The Vault

6 stories from the vault. 1 bonus fic. 7 days.

I went through a myriad of emotions while I wrote these. For some, I actually bled my soul onto paper. For others, it was merely a brain fart that led to their existence. They're sad, horny, and at times angry, but some of those were originally written for me, and only me. Those that weren't started as a few sentences in a folder before I forgot they existed. Either way, I don't want them to catch dust. And I wouldn't want to share them with anyone else.

Starting February 14th, I will be posting one fic every day until February 20th. My “The Vault” works are Matt Murdock x Reader works, but I've made an exception for the bonus fic. I won't tell you what they are about, but I will give you a list of installments and what kind of fic they are so you know what to be excited about (and maybe which ones are not your cup of tea).

-> The number at the end tells you the date I will be posting it on, but I put it in chronological order as well.

INSTALLMENTS:

1. If You Need To Be Mean (angst, hurt/comfort) 14.

2. Mismatched Bridesmaid (fluff, smut) 15.

3. Weed Cookies (humor, fluff, cw: accidental drug use) 16.

4. the grudge (songfic, angst, hurt/comfort, cw: death of a parent) 17.

5. Halloween (Smut) 18.

6. I Want To Fuck A Priest (Smut, cw: priest!Matt) 19.

BONUS:

7. Now That We Don’t Talk (Part 2 of Is It Over Now?) -> Frank Castle x Reader (smut, angst) 20.

A few more words: You are free to send me an ask if you want to know more, but be prepared that I won't be answering in much detail. I don't want to spoil the fun. I would, however, not mind talking about them as vaguely as possible (if you’re interested).

Thank you all. For everything. And I hope you stick around to read these little gems.

With love from yours truly,

Lizzi <3

[twstgarden]

❀ ❝ 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗸? ❞

━ azul ashengrotto x gn! reader (reader can either be yuu or an oc/twstsona) ━ after receiving a letter from azul, you decided to pay a visit to mostro lounge to get your complimentary drink. (inspired by twst valentine cards 2021) (f/n means first name)

do not steal or translate without my permission.

my dear friend, thank you so very much for this absolutely wonderful present. i am positively overjoyed to receive such an affectionate gift. when you have the time, please do drop by the mostro lounge. present the enclosed card at the door and you can enjoy a complimentary drink on me. ━ azul ashengrotto

a smile ghosted its way over your lips as you read azul’s returning card, finding it sweet of him to do this gesture all because you gave him a valentine's gift. you placed the card on your desk and made yourself look presentable before visiting the lounge. 

“are you going somewhere?” asked grim, “we ran out of tuna cans, so go buy some!” you let out a hum in response before patting his head and telling him to behave. you then ran out of your dorm, holding the card that azul told you to present for a complimentary drink.

as soon as you step onto the floors of mostro lounge, jazz music can be heard along with the chatter of students from different dorms and sounds of glasses and plates clinking, hinting that it is mostro lounge's busy hour.

“little shrimpy!”

hearing that familiar call, you looked around and spotted the twins sitting by the bar. you waved at them and sat beside floyd as you had a conversation with the twins while sipping on your drink.

the aura of mostro lounge was relaxing which is why it is one of your favourite places in nrc.

“azul is available if you wish to speak to him,” says jade as he seems to know the reason for your “free” drink, “he’s in his office right now.” he smiled at you and you replied with thanks before you walked towards his office while holding your half-finished drink. 

you gently knocked on his office door three times, hoping you weren’t disturbing him. “come in,” voiced out the male as you turned the doorknob and entered his office. you smiled at him as he smiled back, gesturing you to sit on the couch. 

“i see you have received your drink,” said azul, “do you like it?” you let out a hum as you nodded, “aren’t you going to have a drink too?”

it felt awkward for you to be the only one enjoying a beverage and you wanted to have a drink with him, but he shook his head and told you he was fine and that you should finish your drink first.

you nodded and placed the cup on his desk once you were finished, causing him to stand up and grab your cup before walking towards to door.

“i’ll be back,” said azul as he left you in his office. you nodded and made yourself sink into the comfortable couch.

it was cold in his office ━ not the shivering type of cold, but the refreshing type, similar to the scenarios when you enter a cold room after a long day out in the uncomfortable heat. it felt relaxing and you wanted to sleep, but you thought that would be embarrassing.

your eyes trailed around his beautiful office before landing on his desk, a blue folder laid flat on the surface on the further left side with his fishbone pen placed neatly on its holder. it was neat, as expected from azul.

seconds later, the door opened revealing azul with two glasses filled with your drink of choice. he arranged the glasses down on the table and sat on his leather chair.

“care for another drink? with me, this time,” uttered azul as he grabbed his glass. you took yours and thanked him before clinking your glasses together and taking a sip of your drink.

“thank you again,” said azul as he smiled at you, “that was... thoughtful of you.”

you avoided his gaze for a moment and stared at the drink in your glass. you did not know what to say, wondering if the feelings you desired to convey to him through that gift were clear. however from your point of view at the moment, it doesn't seem like your feelings were communicated properly.

“glad you like it,” you mumbled as you continued gulping down on your drink. you continued to lounge around azul's office for a while and had a pleasant conversation with him.

unbeknownst to the man before you, your heart was racing the entire time, feeling as if you were lucky to have this moment with someone that you are head over heels for. 

hours later, you have decided it was time to rest for the night. you stood up and thanked him for his time and how you enjoyed being around him before turning around and walking towards his door.

suddenly, he held your wrist before you could walk away any further. his touch was gentle as his voice called out, “wait...!” 

out of curiosity, you turned around to look at him and questioned, “is there something else?”

azul was silent for a moment before leaning towards you and placing a soft kiss on your lips, then he pulled away and smiled, “sleep tight, love.”

© twstgarden 2023 || please do not steal, translate without my permission, or use this to train a.i.

[carlos-in-glasses]

An update to the list!

I'm blown away by the fact that anyone would give their precious time to my fics - I want you to know that I always strive for it to be time well-spent. Thank you, thank you. I'll update this list as more fics are posted. Running from most recently posted to the first❤️:

Search And Rescue - (15k, E) - On their first Valentine's Day as husbands, Carlos surprises TK with a trip to adopt a retired police dog.

Where All This Love Comes From - (107k, E) - TK reflects on meeting Carlos after years of addiction and self-destruction, while Carlos seeks closure by uncovering two unknowns: The identity of his father’s killer, and how his father truly felt about Carlos as his son.

You Can Leave Your Hat On - (6k, E) - The heating breaks in the loft so TK and Carlos find another way to stay warm.

Suddenly, in the Silence – (10k, E) - TK wonders if he's being haunted by Gabriel, while Carlos questions his faith.

Sweet Dreams and Flying Machines – (14k, E) - A coda for 3x08 that also explores how 9/11 impacted TK and Carlos as children.

Release the Hand to Relax the Animal – (15k, E) - TK and Carlos have tantric sex.

When Soulmates Swim – (53k, E) - A season 1 canon compliant AU. TK and Carlos find each other and themselves when they each take up swimming.

The Centre of the Maze – (21k, M) - TK and Carlos have never been on the easy path, but all have lead to the wedding.

With Infinity Folded Into It – (8k, M) - After TK proposes, Carlos remembers the first time they said I love you. And he bakes a babka. Sort of.

Fire Island – (12k, M) - TK and Carlos visit the legendary Fire Island and learn from an older couple about life at the height of the AIDS crisis.

The Light of Our Life – (2k, T) - A coda for 4x12. Carlos buys TK a bearded dragon.

The Heart Behind the Shield – (34k, E) - A coda for 2x08 and 4x04 combined. Carlos and TK work through their kidnapping traumas and Carlos and Gabriel share an important moment.

Afterglow of a Supernova – (13k, M) - Carlos and TK have dinner with Carlos’ high school crush and his wife. Insecurities rise and jealousy ensues in an unexpected way.

Man to Man – (15k, E) - A coda for 2x12. In 2010, Carlos comes out to his parents. In 2021, in the aftermath of the housefire, Carlos feels more empowered to talk to Gabriel and embrace his life with TK.

Chasers – (13k, E) - A coda for 3x13. TK is alone with Cooper, Carlos is alone with his thoughts. Both recall times they’ve chased the next high, other men, or each other.

The Ruins of Wonderland – (14k, E) - The severe winter storm doesn’t happen as forecast and Austin receives a manageable snowfall – without TK plunging into a frozen lake. Nancy’s 126 hang goes ahead. TK attends, but so does Carlos…

In Your Adorable Glasses – (4k, T) - Carlos is struggling to find the perfect poem for the wedding; TK tries to help but sits on his glasses.

Wrestling Angels – (8k, M) - Carlos wishes he could invite his seventeen-year-old self to his wedding to TK.

A Naked House – (8k, M) - TK, Carlos and the 126 attend a murder mystery event in which a real murder takes place and TK vanishes…

Teardrop on the Fire – (11k, E) - TK discovers a birthday card Carlos had written for him during their breakup.

Bath Time and Black Magic – (7k, E) - Carlos is naturally upset after being kidnapped by a satanic cult, so he and TK have a bubble bath and talk about it.

A Rainy Day in Austin – (5k, T) - A 3x15 coda. TK and Carlos drive to the greenbelt to release Lou.

Sensitivity – (5k, M) - TK opens up to Carlos about his past, and Carlos finds himself falling for him even harder.

[filmnoirsbian]

Can you share some of your favorite and least favorite horror movies?

Some of my favorites are Scream 1996, Dark Water 2002, The Crow, Jennifer's Body, Rec, Se7en, Saw, Bodies Bodies Bodies, Zombieland, Night of the Living Dead, Get Out, The Stepford Wives 1975, 28 Days Later, The Silence of the Lambs, Carrie 1976, American Psycho, the Fear Street trilogy, Zombieland, Malignant, Us, Rosemary's Baby 1968, Poltergeist, Stoker, Bones and All, Snakes on a Plane, Zombeavers, Tremors, Kairo, The Thing 1982, Vamp, Alien, Return of the Living Dead, Practical Magic, Hocus Pocus, Cabin in the Woods, El Orfanato, Fright Night 2011, The Craft, Ginger Snaps, Pan's Labyrinth, Blade, Alien vs Predator, You're Next, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Signs, Chronicle, Mandy, The Devil's Backbone, Planet Terror, Train to Busan, Nope, The Descent, The Doom Generation, Prey, Midsommar, The Host 2006, The Eye 2002, Suspiria 1977 and 2019, The Invisible Man 1933 and 2020, A Nightmare on Elm Street 1984, Resident Evil 2002, Ready or Not, Trick r Treat, Delicatessen, The Blair Witch Project, Thirst 2009, Thirst 2019, Friday the 13th 1980, The People Under the Stairs, The Moth Diaries, Final Destination, Hereditary, The Village, Bride of Chucky, A Quiet Place, Candyman 1992 and 2021, Censor, Dead Snow, The Velocipastor, 8 Legged Freaks, Barbarian, M3gan, Zombie Tidal Wave, Pumpkinhead, Detention 2011, Insidious, The Fog 1980, Donnie Darko, Annabelle: Creations, The Blob 1988, It 2017, Sinister, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Fresh, and Black Christmas 1974

Some I dislike are The Hills Have Eyes franchise, Cabin Fever 2002, the Hostel franchise, Martyrs, My Bloody Valentine 2009, A Nightmare on Elm Street 2014, Rob Zombie's Halloween movies, Terrifier, Thankskilling, The Boy, Prom Night 2008, Dawn of the Dead 2004, Lycan Colony, Splice, One Missed Call 2008, Detention 2010, The Fog 2005, The Roommate, The Bye Bye Man, Wish Upon, Truth or Dare, Creepshow 2, Prometheus 2012, Annabelle 2014, The Purge, The Conjuring movies

I am extremely lenient with horror movies tbh for me to outright dislike one it essentially has to either bore me or feature unnecessary gratuitous rape/threats of rape--or be a bad remake.

[notealotgoingon]

2023 Bullet Journal Cover & Lists

- movies - books - physical music stickers

(typed list below cut)

Movies

X (2022) ★★★★★ 1/9

Pearl (2022) ★★★★★ 1/10

Jason X (2001) ★★★ 1/17

X (2022) ★★★★★ 1/26

Pearl (2022) ★★★★★ 2/11

Rosemary's Baby (1968) ★★★★★ 2/11

Harley Quinn: A Very Problematic Valentine's Day Special (2023) ★★★★★ 2/12

Skinamarink (2022) ★★★★ 3/8

Re-Animator (1985) ★★★★ 3/12

Ring (1998) ★★★★★ 3/12

Ju-On: The Grudge (2002) ★★★★ 3/12

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) ★★★★ 4/2

Scary Movie (2000) ★★★ 4/3

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) ★★★★★ 4/5

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) ★★★★★ 4/18

Scary Movie 2 (2001) ★★★ 5/3

Scary Movie 3 (2003) ★★ 5/4

The Green Knight (2021) ★★★★★ 5/20

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022) ★★★★ 5/21

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023) ★★ 6/6

Evil Dead Rise (2023) ★★★★1/2 6/27

Nimona (2023) ★★★★ 7/2

Barbarian (2022) ★★★★ 7/6

Malignant (2021) ★★★★ 7/7

Barbie (2023) ★★★★★ 7/23

Scream VI (2023) ★★★1/2 8/1

Saw (2004) ★★★★ 8/1

Frozen (2010) ★★ 8/2

Resident Evil: Death Island (2023) ★★★★ 8/21

Studio 666 (2022) ★★★★ 9/4

The Exorcist (1973) ★★★★1/2 9/4

Saw II (2005) ★★★★ 9/9

Saw III (2006) ★★★1/2 9/9

Saw IV (2007) ★★★1/2 9/9

Saw V (2008) ★★★ 9/9

Saw VI (2009) ★★★ 9/9

Saw 3D (2010) ★★ 9/9

Jigsaw (2017) ★★★ 9/10

Miss Americana (2020) ★★★★ 9/10

Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021) ★★1/2 9/17

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) ★★★★1/2 9/24

Saw (2004) ★★★★1/2 9/25

Saw II (2005) ★★★★1/2 9/26

Dracula (1931) ★★★★ 10/1

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984) ★★★1/2 10/1

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985) ★★★★ 10/1\

House of 1000 Corpses (2003) ★★★★ 10/8

Friday the 13th (1980) ★★★★1/2 10/13

Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour (2023) ★★★★★ 10/19

Saw VI (2009) ★★★1/2 10/28

Saw 3D (2010) ★1/2 10/29

Saw X (2023) ★★★★1/2 11/6

Saw IV (2007) ★★★1/2 11/20

Saw X (2023) ★★★★1/2 11/20

Terrifier (2016) ★★★1/2 12/4

Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992) ★★ 12/4

Saw V (2008) ★★★1/2 12/4

Terrifier 2 (2022) ★★★1/2 12/11

The Green Knight (2021) ★★★★★ 12/18

Sonic Christmas Blast(1996) ★★1/2 12/22

Black Christmas (1974) ★★★★★ 12/23

Black Christmas (2006) ★★★1/2 12/24

Saltburn (2023) ★★★★ 12/29

Taylor Swift: Reputation Stadium Tour (2018) ★★★★★ 12/30

Books

The Ballad of Black Tom by Victor Lavalle 1/2

The Witcher: The Last Wish by Andrzej Sakowski 1/12

We Can Never Leave This Place by Eric Larocca 1/14

Causes and Cures in the Classroom by Margaret Searle 1/29

Vox Machina: Kith & Kin by Marieke Nijkamp 2/1

Black is the Body by Emily Bernard 2/4

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas 2/18

The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green 2/19

Black Klansman by Ron Stallworth 2/26

The Dark Tower V: Wolves of the Calla by Stephen King 3/7

Ring by Koji Suzuki 4/14

What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher 4/14

In the Time of the Butterflies by Julia Alvarez 5/8

Circe by Madeline Miller 5/19

When the Emperor Was Divine by Julie Otsuka 5/30

Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe 6/1

The Hellbound Heart by Clive Barker 6/25

The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson 6/28

The Lesbian Classics Get Me Off by Chuck Tingle 6/28

Icebreaker by Hannah Grace 7/5

Teacher of the Yearby M.A. Wardell 7/7

The Colorado Kid by Stephen King 7/17

This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone 7/31

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle 8/4

The Writing Revolution by Judith C. Hochman & Natalie Wexler 8/10

You Can Go Your Own Way by Eric Smith 8/20

Phasma by Delilah S. Dawson 9/12

Small Spaces by Katherine Arden 9/27

Reforged by Seth Haddon 10/8

Fifty Feet Down by Sophie Tanen 10/23

The Exorcist by William Peter Blatty 11/22

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett 12/2

Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade 12/7

Wildfire by Hannah Grace 12/5

Interview With the Vampire by Anne Rice 12/12

Tender is the Flesh by Augustina Bazterrica 12/19

A Prayer for the Crown-Shy by Becky Chambers 12/20

Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo 12/28

Stowaway and Silent Song by Vera Valentine 12/29

Physical Music Media:

(this isn't all of the records/CDs I've gotten or listened to this year, but I figured I'd decipher the stickers I put in the book; these are all of the promo stickers on the outside of the plastic wrapping on the releases)

Beat the Champ - the Mountain Goats

Paradise - Lana del Ray

Red (Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift

What's it Like? - Sure Sure

Did You Know There's A Tunnel Under Ocean Boulevard? - Lana del Ray

Stick Season - Noah Kahan

The Rest - boygenius

Midnights (Late Night Edition) - Taylor Swift

Raving Ghost - Olivia Jean

The Record - boygenius

Speak Now (Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift

Dark in Here - the Mountain Goats

Bangerz (10th Anniversary Edition) - Miley Cyrus

God Games - the Kills

1989 (Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift

[project-sekai-facts]

Since the start of the game, it has been heavily implied, if not outright stated, that Minori has a crush on Haruka. To a lesser degree, it has been implied that Haruka has feelings for Minori.

In chapter 17 of MORE MORE JUMP!'s main story, when Minori performs a show to give Haruka the hope she needs to perform as an idol again, she tells Haruka that the first time she received fanservice from her was the first time she ever felt the happiness of falling in love with someone (altered in official translation).

In Minori's self-introduction, she flubs a line towards the end, but Haruka insists that they keep it in because "it's so Minori". Meanwhile, in Haruka's self-introduction, Minori thanks Haruka's parents for bringing her into the world and allowing them to meet. Haruka then says that she should be the one thanking Minori's parents, for letting her meet someone like Minori, causing Minori to become extremely flustered. Minori thanking Haruka's parents for giving birth to her is also referenced in 4koma #6 and her menu voiceline for Haruka's birthday in 2021.

In the side story for Miku's Stage SEKAI 2* card, she blows a kiss to Minori during a show. Minori then imagines Haruka blowing her a kiss, causing her to blush and think that she was about to have a heart attack.

In her 2021 Valentine's menu voiceline, Minori became extremely flustered over finally having the opportunity to give Haruka chocolate. Haruka comments that Minori getting all red in the face will make her embarrassed too. Even Airi comments on Minori's bold decision to give Haruka chocolates.

In their White Day menu voicelines from that year, it was revealed that Haruka gave Minori a return gift. Minori says that she will treasure it forever.

There are multiple instances of Haruka looking fondly at Minori. Perhaps the most notable is both her untrained and trained You Deserve It 4* card.

Minori passed out when Haruka wished her a happy birthday in 4koma #41. Haruka insisted on performing the birthday show for Minori even though Airi had warned her about what would happen.

In Airi's Unyielding Indomitable Spirit 4* story, it is revealed that while Airi and Shizuku went to the picnic with Ena and Mizuki, Minori and Haruka went to Phoenix Wonderland together. Their trip is shown in Luka's Fairy Lantern ♪ 2* story.

Minori's Passionate Call untrained 4* card speaks for itself, being the first time she was depicted with 'heart-eyes' around Haruka. This card is from Haruka's first event, Break Time for the Hardworking You!, which featured the commissioned song Ai no Material, which is explicitly a love song. While Haruka and Shizuku took the duo centre of the song, Minori was the only character to receive an Another Vocal for it.

The future that you were gazing at, I don't know if I can take you there. I hope I can support you, and keep walking with you.

In Haruka's Someday, I'll Deliver Colorful Festival 4* story, it is mentioned that MORE MORE JUMP! played a game called "No Blushing - Smiling Staring Contest!" on their stream that day. Minori lost the game because she couldn't keep a straight face whilst looking at Haruka. Minori later adds that Haruka's smile has the power to "make anyone's heart race".

Haruka's fragment SEKAI is born from her reminiscing about the idol that inspired her and was able to make her smile when she was younger, and wishing she had the chance to meet this person. Haruka thinks she spots her idol in amongst a crowd, and proceeds to chase her throughout the SEKAI. Although she keeps losing track of her idol, she is determined to tell her about how she inspired her. While thinking to herself, Haruka remembers Minori telling her how she was her inspiration to become an idol. She continues to think to herself, remembering how she was genuinely happy when she met Minori and was able to get on stage again because Minori gave her hope. This makes her more determined to find her idol and tell her how much she was inspired by her.

When she runs into a dead end again, she finds a dove with a clover in it's beak. It gives her the clover and then leads her to a house filled with more doves. While it is dark inside, she thinks that she recognises the room. She feels compelled to open the windows and let all the birds fly free out of the darkness, just as her idol did for her. She then notices that all the birds have clovers in their beaks that they want to deliver to other people as they did with her, and she frees them. Haruka's idol then appears behind her and talks to her. Haruka recognises her voice and tries to talk to her, but the SEKAI disappears before she gets the chance.

It is heavily implied that the idol that Haruka was chasing around the Fragment SEKAI was Minori. From her remembering Minori's message of hope while she was trying to find her childhood idol, to wanting to tell her childhood idol about this event, to the doves that were carrying clovers (MORE MORE JUMP!'s symbol that will bring hope to their fans, that was Minori's idea). Not to mention the fact that the dove gave Haruka a clover and led her straight to where her idol was. The woman who appears in the SEKAI even looks like Minori with longer hair.

However, it could be argued that Haruka's childhood idol just heavily resembles Minori, seeing as Haruka recognises the voice as nostalgic and identifies the woman as her childhood idol instead of Minori (it was in a crowd though). However, after returning from the fragment SEKAI, Haruka only refers to the mystery woman as "her", adding to the ambiguous identity.

Minori and Airi covered the song Ren'ai Saiban, a song about someone who is trying to win back their lover after an unspecified incident. The 2DMV for the cover plays up the "winning back the lover" aspect, since at the end, after Minori and Airi free themselves from their handcuffs, they free Haruka and Shizuku as well. Miku seems to approve of this ending despite trying to sentence them for the first three and a half minutes of the MV.

In Buddy Funny Spend Time ♪, the two go on a "double date" with An and Kohane. While ultimately it is treated as platonic and Minori and Haruka are not considered to be in a relationship outside of or even in the event, An at the very least does seem to consider her half of the date as romantic (Peak Excitement 3* story), with said interpretation being supported in later stories (such as Kick it up a notch).

Still on the topic of BFST, in chapter 1 of the story, An says that Minori really likes Haruka, and that Haruka feels the same way. Later on in the event, Minori relates to how flustered Kohane is around Haruka, saying that Haruka is really cool and cute, and her heart raced when Haruka first called her by her first name. She also relates to Kohane's jealously over An and Haruka's close friendship later on in the story.

At one point during their outing, the four girls go shopping for street style clothes. Minori doesn't think she fits the look, until Haruka tells her that she suits the clothes and she decides that she will keep them forever. The event 4koma also shows that Minori is very attracted to Haruka's street style look.

At the end of the event, Minori confesses to Haruka that she doesn't know much about the real, non-idol Haruka, and that she had been trying to get closer to Haruka during the event by trying to please her (such as going on a rollercoaster when she didn't want to). Haruka tells Minori that she likes her just the way she is, and that she doesn't need to force herself to do things she doesn't like.

Haruka's trained A Street Style Idol!? 4* card from this event can be seen at the top of this post, depicting Minori and Haruka with their arms linked.

In 4koma #92, Kohane tries to understand the emotions that An an Akito felt while watching RAD WEEKEND, although she can't get a clear image since neither of the two can express it in words. Minori chimes in and explains that she understands not being able to put feelings into words, describing "emotions swirling inside of her" while she thinks of Haruka. Shiho remarks that what Minori is feeling is not the same as what An and Akito felt at RW.

Minori's Enthusiastic Talk! untrained 4* card depicts her holding a drawing she did of a costume for Haruka. The drawing is surrounded by pink hearts and one of the annotations reads "cute!".

Minori's 2022 White Day menu voiceline reveals that Haruka gave her chocolate for the holiday, causing Minori to get extremely flustered yet again.

In a flashback during the Dear Me, As I Was Back Then event, we see Minori attend an ASRUN concert, during which she shouted out her love for Haruka. In Minori's untrained Beyond the Spotlight 4* card from this event, you can see Haruka watching her in the background.

In Scream!? Welcome to the Wolf Forest!, Minori is comically blinded by Haruka's cat cafe costume. She says that she can't look at Haruka because the cat ears suit her so well, but at the same time she really wants to look, and feels like her head is going to get torn off.

A similar instance of Haruka's presence 'blinding' Minori was shown in 4koma #61.

Minori's 2023 Valentine's Day menu voiceline reveals that Haruka gave her Valentine's chocolates, rather than the other way around. Although Minori wants to eat it, she isn't sure if she wants to sacrifice the gift.

For that White Day, Minori gave Haruka three times the amount of gifts that Haruka gave her for Valentine's Day as her return gift. Haruka suggests that they eat the sweets together, since she won't be able to manage them by herself.

During MORE MORE JUMP!'s 1st live, during one MC game, Haruka tells Minori that she loves her, causing the latter to nearly faint.

Haruka: Thank you. I love you, Minori Airi: Woaaah! Knock out! Shizuku: That's amazing, Haruka-chan

The second set of birthday cards show the gifts that each character was given by the other members of their unit. In Haruka's card, you can see a handwritten letter, with an opening line that reads "I lo-lo-lo-looove you, Haruka-chan". Minori's card features a letter from Haruka in return, as well as some ASRUN photographs.

In Haruka's card, you can see that Minori also gifted her a T-shirt that matches the otter one that she wears for training, only this one has a penguin, Haruka's favorite animal, on it as well. In 4koma #15, Minori picked out a similar shirt for Haruka, featuring only the penguin.

Minori also keeps a collection of Haruka merchandise in her room.

[fickleminder]

Obey Me Masterlist

All writings feature GN!MC unless otherwise stated :)

✨ = Popular!

Masterlist Directory >> HERE

Latest:

cosplay (with commissioned art)

You convince Raphael to cosplay for you.

Fics:

forget you

You saw an opportunity to walk away, and you took it.

Inspired by the Glass pop quiz.

sacrificial lamb > part 1, part 2 ✨

The impossible choice between you and the Devildom.

Inspired by the Frost pop quiz.

seven supervillains and one (1) normie

You move in with seven normal, law-abiding housemates.

Written for the Devildom zine.

be good ✨

AU inspired by this prompt: Humans are born with demon counterparts to protect them. The more innocent and pure a person is, the more mean, fierce, and terrifying their demon becomes.

Halloween 2023 fic.

date night

Inspired by @777xara​‘s art here.

never after

Not all fairy tales have a happy ending.

Based on Satan’s Breaking Curses Devilgram and this post.

what’s up doc

Based on this post. Dedicated to the Satan simps who didn’t manage to pull his card in the Doctor Nightmare.

Zombie (commissioned art here) ✨

Mini-blurb based on an answered ask by @sparkbeast20​.

CW: blood and gore (in both the fic and the art).

would you lie with me (and just forget the world)

When taking out the trash, it’s more efficient to do it all in one go.

Karasu’s Confession Corner ✨

Seeing Karasu, one of Mammon’s crow familiars, at your windowsill isn’t an uncommon occurrence. He likes to stop by sometimes to hang out with you, but today he’s acting oddly for some reason…

Written for the OM Secret Santa 2022 event. Features Mammon x GN!MC.

let us die young (or let us live forever)

Life in the Devildom living with seven demon lords is pretty darn good. If there’s one thing you’re sure of, it’s that you’re loved, wholly, irrevocably, and forever.

Halloween 2022 fic.

The Escape

You are attacked while alone in the House of Lamentation.

Based on this scenario.

Bad Days ✨

You didn’t sign up to be their therapist, least of all their punching bag.

Inspired by @barbabetos‘ post here.

falling (for you) (commissioned art here) ✨

Five times you fell on Satan, and one time he returned the favor.

Obligatory 5+1 fic featuring Satan x GN!MC.

careful what you wish for

You and Satan find out that sometimes magic wishes have unexpected consequences.

Based on Satan’s Wish-Granting Charm Devilgram.

Food Favors

Mini-blurb based on an answered ask by @house-of-laminations.

Dirty Pop(sicles) ✨

When a human can’t even enjoy a popsicle on the beach without inviting salacious thoughts, you do what you have to do, toothache be damned.

CW: suggestive content but nothing explicit.

crawl to the in-between (part 1, part 2, part 3/?)

While recovering from an attack within the HoL, MC slowly finds out that there’s more to the Devildom than meets the eye.

This AU’s still a work-in-progress, summary to be updated.

forever valentine

Satan gives you flowers every Valentine’s Day.

Spin-off from this scenario (spoiler alert!) with a V-Day twist.

soft kitty, warm kitty

You sing Satan to sleep.

Lyrics taken from Big Bang Theory.

cum laude (commissioned art here) ✨

Season 1 AU. Snapshots from a year in which the human exchange student actually acts like one instead of playing demon family therapist.

Dedicated to all the goody two shoes MCs out there.

Inner Demon ✨

The one where the human exchange student gets possessed by a lesser demon.

Crack-ish fic inspired by this post. CW: mild body horror.

Cuddle Puddle

Technically every week is considered “hell week” in the Devildom, but this particular one has Elleroy ready to throw in the towel and call it quits.

Written for the OM Secret Santa 2021 event. Features Satan x M!OC x Asmo.

of electric rodents and demon butlers

Pokemon AU. Wooing a demon butler who hates rats on principle is a little tricky when you have an electric rodent on your team.

Self-indulgent Pokemon AU.

so wake me up (when it’s all over)

Your demons turn against you.

Halloween 2021 fic.

hear me cry > original, alt ending ✨

The one where the brothers team up to catch you.

Inspired by the Masked pop quiz. CW for alt ending: violence, blood.

Into The Woods > part 1 (commissioned art here), part 2

It’s like with Lilith all over again. Hindsight is 20/20, but given the circumstances, Lucifer has no qualms repeating history.

Inspired by The Nature of Sin.

Unholy

You haven’t said a word since you were moved back into your old room, but that’s okay. You’re in one piece, your burns are healing nicely, and there’s cream in the medicine cabinet for the scarring on your wrists and neck. The charred, bloody stumps on your back can wait; all Luke cares about is getting rid of the damned marks those accursed bangles had branded into your skin as they melted off.

Inspired by an answered ask from @obeythebutler.

the years start coming and they don’t stop coming > part 1 (commissioned art here), part 2 ✨

In which Lilith’s return distorts her brothers’ perception of time.

The original replaced!MC AU except we have Satan on our side.

Keeper

"Will one million Grimm be enough?” / “...How much is that in human currency?” / “Good point. One million American dollars it is then. We can say we sold everything at a charity auction or something.”

Inspired by the Angelic pop quiz.

Schrödinger (commissioned art here) ✨

Many ghosts dwell within the House of Lamentation alongside its demonic inhabitants. One in particular takes sick pleasure in tormenting Belphegor. (Alternatively: when the you that disappeared from Mammon’s arms isn’t completely gone)

Halloween 2020 fic.

Idea Blurbs:

no hope, no love, no glory

Replaced!MC AU. Wherein falling out of favor with Mammon has consequences.

weakest link

Inspired by the key route in the Lantern event.

Emergency Contact ✨

MC’s night alone in the HoL takes a turn for the worse.

The Haunting of Serenity Manor

Haunted House AU inspired by this and this.

your name

Mini scenario where MC isn’t really “MC”.

soul on paper

Inspired by Satan’s 2021 birthday pop quiz and UR Devilgram.

equalizer

Features a fighter-MC, lots of OOC characters, and generally dark content.

Incorrect Quotes & Headcanons:

Zero

Sugar Daddy ✨

Saving Daylight

Intimidate

Hidden Skills

Anime Run

Good Workout ✨

Depressed!MC moves into HoL AU ✨

[bizarrequazar]

GJ and ZZH Updates — February 11-17

previous post || all posts || following week

This is part of a weekly series collecting updates from and relating to Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan.

This post is not wholly comprehensive and is intended as an overview, links provided lead to further details. Dates are in accordance with China Standard Time, the organization is chronological. My own biases on some things are reflected here. Anything I include that is not concretely known is indicated as such, and you’re welcome to do your own research and draw your own conclusions as you see fit. Please let me know if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or additions. :)

[Glossary of names and terms] [Masterlist of my posts about the situation with Zhang Zhehan]

02-11 → Tissot posted a promotional video spoken by Gong Jun.

→ The Instagram posted a video that I did not care to watch long enough to figure out what it was.

02-12 → The Instagram posted another of the same.

02-13 → Fresh posted a promotional video spoken by Gong Jun.

→ The Instagram posted another of the same.

02-14 → Gong Jun posted nine pictures to his Weibo: six of the god of wealth and three of him dressed as the god of wealth. Caption: "Please choose a God of Wealth from the pictures below to spend Valentine’s Day with 💐" His studio reposted this with the added caption, "The house is full of joy, the God of Wealth has arrived! @ Gong Jun Simon wishes you to get rich without getting lost, and find wealth on all roads!"

→ Gong Jun posted a douyin of himself as the God of Wealth. Caption: "Money comes, money comes, money comes from all directions." Fan Observations: Some are speculating that the person who taps him (rather hard) on the shoulder could be Zhang Zhehan. [hand comparison]

→ Gong Jun's studio posted an additional three photos of him. Caption: "On the fifth day of the Lunar New Year, we welcome the God of Wealth @ Gong Jun Simon, and wealth will come and come!"

→ PRSR posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun for Valentine's Day.

→ Gong Jun's studio posted a douyin of behind the scenes footage from the God of Wealth photoshoot. Caption: "Soft-hearted God of Wealth @ Gong Jun Simon invites you to share good luck, click to accept the invitation immediately~"

→ The Instagram posted a vlog of London.

02-15 → The Instagram posted another vlog.

02-16 → The Instagram posted seven photos of "Zhang Zhehan" in rehearsal.

→ The scam held another concert, this time in Hong Kong. This one included Zhang Sanjian strutting around topless with fake tattoos (I'll spare you the link) and saying that Zhang Zhehan's songs are "too soft". Tickets sold so badly that VVIP tickets were reportedly being given away for free a week before, and photos from inside the venue show empty seating sections and a number of audience members who were likely hired.

For previous info I've collected about these concerts, see [here] and [here].

02-17 → The Instagram posted six photos and a video of "Zhang Zhehan" showcasing the scam concert's venue.

Addition 02-24: Tumblr user @moniquill posted an article about a group of anti-Indigenous extremist Wikipedia editors. Among the editors listed is OnCamera, the editor who has also been maintaining the misinformation on Zhang Zhehan's Wikipedia page since 2021. (previously discussed under 2023-02-07, original exposé by Flora [here].)

Additional Reading: → Apologies for missing last week, I had some personal issues going on.

previous post || all posts || following week

This post was last edited 2024-02-24.

[ravenclaw-writes]

Don't Mess With Moony

Pairing: Remus Lupin x Sirius Black

Description:

Remus has been in love with Sirius for ages, but lately, Sirius has been getting on his nerves.

OR

Sirius tries to flirt but Remus is painfully oblivious.

Word Count: 10,727

Original Publish Date: 2021-04-06

A/N: Heyo! Here's fic no. 2 from my AO3-to-tumblr transfer. Hope you like! Feel free to check out my other stuff either on here as I start to upload or on my AO3 where they already live :)

| MASTERLIST IN BIO |

| Read on AO3 |

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Now, Remus Lupin would deny it to anyone who asked, but he had what was probably the biggest crush that was humanly possible on Sirius Black. He was able to deny it because, unlike James Potter, he did not go around moping about his unrequited love. Instead, he kept it bottled up inside and only allowed himself to indulge when the rest of the Marauders were sound asleep and he could have a quick wank to the thought of whatever ridiculously sexy thing Sirius had done that day. It was fine, he told himself. He had a system that worked.

While yes, Remus had irrevocably fallen for Sirius, that did not mean that the boy in question couldn’t get under his skin. And under his skin did he get.

Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus were all sitting in the Common Room. It was late and all Remus wanted to do was crawl into his bed and pass out. He was trying to decide if he had enough energy to wank to the fresh images of Sirius in his new black nail polish (he should really send a thank you card to Andromeda). James was on his back in front of the fire, Peter had claimed the armchair and Remus and Sirius had the sofa. Sirius decided that he wanted to take up as much room as possible, which Remus did not appreciate. He also did not like to be this close to Sirius as the clock ticked closer to his designated Wanking Hour.

Remus was tired, a little horny, his hip was acting up because of his awkward position on the couch, and on top of that a little agitated by the approaching moon. Logically, he knew that he could just tell his friends this (minus the horny part, obviously), but Remus hated bringing attention to anything that came along with his lycanthropy, despite the validity. Remus was hoping that maybe Peter would say something first, or maybe Lily would come down and tell them to go to sleep. James would, and does, do anything that woman says. But unfortunately, she did not.

“What about you, Moony?” James asked.

Remus turned back into the conversation. “Sorry, didn’t catch that.”

“Come on Moons, any Valentine’s Day plans?” Sirius teased, toeing at Remus’ hip. His bad hip. Remus held in a hiss of pain.

“Nope,” He said, popping the ‘p’.

“Oh, come on Moony, surely you’ve got your eyes on someone!” James said, turning his head to look at him.

“I’ll probably just spend it in the Library, if I’m honest,” Remus shrugged, avoiding the question, because yeah, he did have his eyes on someone. A certain grey-eyed, black-haired, illegal-animagus someone.

James shook his head in disbelief. “Oh, come on, you can’t seriously mean that. This is the first year we’ve all got dates! It’s only fair that we find you one!”

“All?” Remus really wished he had been paying attention earlier. He knew Peter was seeing someone, a Hufflepuff whose name he didn’t bother to remember, James and Lily were “finally official”, but Sirius? Since when was he seeing someone?

As if reading his mind Sirius smirked. “Yes, yes, I know. First Valentine’s Day in my glorious 18 years on Earth that I actually have plans.”

“Yeah, but you still won’t tell us her name,” Peter piped up.

Sirius flipped his hair dramatically. “Unlike some of us, I don’t kiss and tell.” Remus tried to hide his disappointment. He didn’t need the visual of Sirius and Mystery Girl kissing in his head right now.

“Don’t think too highly of yourself, Black, Remus doesn’t kiss and tell either,” James teased.

“Wait, Remus, you’ve kissed someone?” Peter asked, sitting up straighter. All eyes were suddenly on Remus. Thanks for bringing me into this, Prongs.

Remus shrugged. He’d only ever kissed one person. It was last year, Charlie, a Ravenclaw prefect who had stayed late after one of Remus’ Library Study Sessions. Remus didn’t even know Charlie was gay. But as it turns out he was very gay as they had done a lot more than kiss, specifically a few times in the prefects’ bathroom. Remus felt bad because truthfully, he was really only using Charlie as a sexual outlet for his pent-up Sirius Feelings. The night he called it off was also the night that James caught him sneaking back into their dorm. Remus did not confirm or deny James’ suspicions and since it was never brought up again Remus had assumed that James was still half asleep and had simply forgotten. It appeared that that was not the case.

“Details, Moony! Details!” Sirius kept toeing at Remus’ bad hip, a little harder this time.

“There aren’t any, let’s move on,” Remus tried to ignore the pain he was in and also direct the conversation away from himself.

“It was last year, I caught him sneaking back into the dorm,” James smiled, proud of himself. Remus flipped him the bird but all James did was laugh.

“And you didn’t TELL ME?” Sirius was taken aback. He sat up straighter and, in the process, pushed his feet into Remus. Remus tried to calm his breathing but fuck, that hurt.

“Didn’t know you were so interested in Moony’s love life, Pads,” James raised an eyebrow. Remus could have sworn he saw the beginnings of a blush on Sirius’ cheeks. “Besides, not mine to tell.”

“You can at least tell us who it was,” Peter reasoned. No, Remus thought. That’s the last thing that I want to tell you. Well, actually the last thing would be the details on how hard I fucked -

“I’ll bet it was someone from your ‘study sessions’. Those girls are always throwing themselves over you,” James laughed and pitched his voice up, “Oh, Remus, you’re so smart! Remus, you’re such a great teacher! Remus, I want you to bend me over this desk and -”

“They do not say that!” Remus interrupted, not wanting James to finish that sentence.

“They might as well!” Peter exclaimed. “That’s why I stopped coming, mate, it was painful to watch.”

Remus felt himself redden. No, there was no way that was true.

“Awe, Moony’s embarrassed,” Sirius teased, poking at his hip again, this time with more purpose.

“Would you stop that?” Remus snapped, turning to look at Sirius. All laughter in the room stopped. “You’ve been poking at my hip all night and it really fucking hurts, ok?”

Sirius shrunk into the couch. “Sorry, I- I didn’t realize it was your bad-”

“I’m going to bed.” Remus decided. He already killed the mood, and he was done talking about his not-plans for Valentine’s Day. It was a stupid holiday anyway, only useful for the February 15th sale on sweets at Honeydukes.

Remus stood up and had to grab the arm of the couch when he lost his balance after putting weight on his bad side. Sirius reached out as if to catch him, but Remus jerked away. He left the now silent Common Room and limped up the stairs to the dorm.

____________

It took Remus an unfortunate amount of time to cool down after that night. Luckily his friends were willing to brush it off, associating it with the upcoming moon. Said moon came and went and they were all back to normal. Remus had almost forgotten about Valentine’s Day. Almost.

As usual, the Great Hall was fully decked out. Normally, Remus didn’t really mind. Valentine’s Day was never his favourite day of the year, but he always secretly looked forward to seeing Lily turn down James after whatever stunt he decided to pull. This year was different. For starters, James and Lily were dating now so he didn’t have the shut down to look forward to. Peter was always hit or miss. He was the first of the four of them to have a proper girlfriend. Sirius tried to argue that he should hold that title, but James said hookups don’t count. If you do count Sirius, then technically James was the last to have a proper relationship as Remus beat him to it with Charlie last year. But then again, if it was proper girlfriends they were competing for, Remus could guarantee that he would never even place. He hoped that Sirius wouldn’t make it to the podium either.

Remus trudged through the day, it was rather uneventful as far as Valentine’s Day goes. He saw more action in the hallways this past Christmas when someone enchanted mistletoe to hang above certain archways around the castle. Remus was certain it was James looking for any excuse to show off his new relationship with Lily, but he never admitted to it.

He would never outright say it, but Remus was avoiding Sirius. At first, it wasn’t intentional, Sirius refused to get out of bed with the rest of them so their paths didn’t cross until lunch, but Remus did start going out of his way to take different routes to class not wanting to put a face to Mystery Girl. In his mind, she was extremely ugly. Or maybe bore a striking resemblance to a certain teenage werewolf. Remus was not ready to face the truth that she was probably the most gorgeous woman with the most womanly body and melodic woman voice. Someone the complete opposite of a gangly, scarred … man. He wasn’t sure why he was getting so worked up over this. Sirius has been involved with girls before. Remus has no reason to think that Sirius was anything other than straight. But something about the fact that Sirius had made plans with her on Valentine’s Day made his heart sink. So, Remus took the long way to class. He skipped lunch, had early dinner. He threw himself down on the couch in the empty Common Room.

It was sad, really. Moping around like a girl. Maybe then he’d be interested, Remus thought. He lazily flicked his wand and set the kettle on its way to the fire. He was really more of a coffee person, but Lily always made him feel better with a cup of tea when he got into “one of his moods”. He guessed that his current state did fall into that category. He reluctantly got off the couch to look through the cabinet of mugs for his personal favourite. The collection of mugs in Gryffindor Tower was secretly one of Remus’ favourite parts of the Common Room. Students could bring their own mug if they desired and most of them ended up just leaving them in the cabinet even when they left the school. Going through them was like flipping through a guest book of Gryffindors past. Remus’ favourite had the most obnoxious colour pallet with random shapes and designs. However, it one of the biggest and had the best handle for his big hands.

He was in the middle of flicking through the second shelf when he heard footsteps coming down from the dorms. “Moony?”

Great. He had gone all day not interacting with Sirius and now they were alone in the Common Room. “Not at dinner?” Remus asked, turning his head to face Sirius. Mistake. Sirius was wearing the pair of ripped jeans that frequently appeared in Remus’ dreams and a loose fitting maroon button-up with the first few buttons undone. His hair was still a little damp, he must have just gotten out of the shower because Remus could smell the soap he always used, even from across the room. This shouldn’t be allowed, Remus thought. He is not allowed to look this good. Remus noticed the hint of a blush on Sirius’ cheeks. “Getting ready for tonight then?” Remus turned his head back to looking through the mugs and tried to inconspicuously adjust his trousers.

“Finishing touches, yeah,” Remus heard Sirius start walking closer. The kettle started to hiss just as Remus was giving up on finding his mug. Some idiot first year probably used it. He grabbed a random one with a massive handle off the shelf. Huh. Surprisingly, it also fit his hand. This might have to be his new backup. Remus grabbed a tea bag and went back towards the fire.

Sirius had spread himself across the couch. When Remus turned his eyes flicked to the mug in his hand and he broke out into a grin. Remus gave him a questioning look as he began to pour the hot water into the mug. “That’s mine.”

Remus almost dropped the kettle. He turned to face Sirius. “What?”

Sirius’ smile widened. “Yeah, I brought it this year.” Remus looked down at the mug in his hands. He hadn’t really been paying attention to what he had grabbed but now, paying more attention he let out a low chuckle. The mug was all black, decorated with a pattern of white stars. “Get it? James and I went to some muggle shops over the summer and I just had to buy it. Leave my mark, y’know? Sirius Black, the Gryffindor.” Sirius shrugged. Remus didn’t want to get soft right now. He wanted to be able to have a reason to be mad at Sirius to justify his avoidance. But instead, all he got was another reason to love him. “It also has one of those giant handles that I know you like so I was hoping that you would be able to stop using the absolute eyesore that you normally do.” Merlin, fuck, Sirius! You can’t just say things like that!

Remus, unable to formulate words decided to nod his head and make his way to the armchair. “So, uh, what are your plans for tonight?” He asked, not really wanting to know but figured he owed Sirius the decency to at least seem like he was interested.

Sirius shrugged. “What about you?” He asked, dodging the question.

Remus decided not to press. Surely, he wasn’t stood up by Mystery Girl? “Homework, I think.”

Sirius laughed. “You and your bloody homework.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Sirius started to backtrack. “No, no, nothing wrong with it, I just can’t help but think you should be putting yourself out there!” Merlin’s beard, he was not about to have this conversation with Sirius.

“I don’t know, I rather like my routine.” It wasn’t a full lie. He was content with the routine, but he wouldn’t mind if the person to ruin it was the one sitting across from him.

“Moony, you can’t seriously expect me to believe that!” Remus shrugged in response, sipping his tea. “What about that girl from last year James was talking about?”

“I didn’t confirm anything that James said that night.”

“Merlin, work with me here!” Sirius was getting annoyed.

“Maybe I don’t want a girlfriend, alright?” Remus snapped. Immediately, he regretted it. He hoped that Sirius took it as “I don’t want a girlfriend right now” and not “I don’t want a girlfriend because I’m a raging homosexual who’s absolutely in love with you”. The silence before Sirius’ response was telling Remus it might be the latter.

“Moony,” Sirius paused, as if he was choosing his next words very carefully. “Are you -”

“Look, why don’t you just go on your date ok? I’m fine alright, just drop it.” Remus realized that interrupting Sirius was probably a red flag, but he just wanted to be left alone right now.

Sirius relaxed his face. “I was thinking I might just spend the night with you, actually,” he shrugged. Remus was getting mad.

“Sirius, stop. Go on your date, don’t be an asshole, you can’t stand a girl up on Valentine’s Day!” Remus stood up, he wanted this conversation to end. If Sirius wasn’t going to leave then he was.

Sirius sat up, his hair was ruffled from drying a little while pressed against the couch. Remus tried not to think about how his hair might look similar after sex. “Where are you going?”

Remus sighed, putting his mug down on the end table. He was no longer in the mood for tea. “I’m going upstairs because I have work to do, you’re being an idiot, and I’m done getting your pity!” He started to make his way to the stairs.

Sirius hopped off the couch and followed him. “What do you mean, my pity?”

Remus huffed and turned around. “You know exactly what I mean! You’re going to bunk off getting laid to spend time with me? I’m not that fucking lonely for Merlin’s sake!” Remus started back up the stairs without waiting for a response. He reached for the door to their dorm but Sirius called ou after him.

“Wait, stop!”

Remus opened the door and started to make his way over to his bed only to see that he could not throw himself on it like he had hoped because someone piled various types of chocolates and sweets on it. He quickly turned to see Sirius standing in the doorway. “Did you do this?” He snapped.

Evidently, this was not the reaction Sirius was hoping for because his face fell. “Well, yeah. I mean I was hoping you wouldn’t be pissed at me when you saw but I know you like to buy sweets on the 15th so I thought since tomorrow’s a Hogsmeade trip it might be too busy, so I-” Sirius was getting red.

Remus, unfortunately, was still on edge and was not able to see the gesture for what it was and instead, it only added to his anger. “Merlin’s beard, I’m not your fucking charity case, Black!”

Sirius jolted. He quickly regained his senses and seemed to be inching closer to how Remus was feeling. “I never said you were!”

“Well, you might as well have!”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Fucking hell, you just can’t take it when someone does something nice for you, is that it? Stop feeling so bloody sorry for yourself and maybe you’ll see that people actually care about you!”

“Just fuck off, ok? Go enjoy your date, romance her with a shag in a broom cupboard, why don’t you?”

“Fine, I’ll go. But you’re being a right prick, you know that?”

Remus turned back to his bed. He heard Sirius scoff and then the door closed.

Remus sighed. That could have gone a lot better. He looked down at the pile of sweets. Really, it was nice of Sirius to think of him. Why couldn’t he have just said bloody thank you?

Remus may or may not have had a shameful wank that night thinking about how hot Sirius had looked while mad.

____________

Remus ate the chocolate. He wasn’t just going to let it sit around and go bad, as much as he wanted to, simply on principle. Things were weird between him and Sirius for the next little while. He avoided the subject of Mystery Girl at breakfast the next morning, but that might have just been for Remus’ benefit. As usual, running around the castle grounds under a full moon set everything back into their place. Remus, after getting a stern talking-to from Lily, thanked Sirius for the sweets.

It was now March. Remus’ eighteenth birthday was coming up. It was a weird age, eighteen. He will have been legal in the wizarding world for an entire year but now he was going to be legal in the muggle world too. The other Marauders were purebloods, so he was glad to have Lily to talk to about the weird limbo he was in. Remus wasn’t sure Lily knew just how much he cared for her.

It was nearing midnight on the ninth. Remus was making his way to the Common Room. He was having trouble sleeping and was surprised to find Lily curled up on the couch with a book. She gladly lifted one end of the blanket she was using, and Remus joined her on the opposite end of the couch. Their feet were touching under the blanket and Remus liked the little bit of physical touch. He was feeling rather melancholic. This would be his last birthday at Hogwarts. He felt as if Lily could sense his feelings and they talked for quite a while. There was a natural pause in the conversation and Remus felt completely at peace, for once. “Lily?”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t think it’s weird that I’ve never had a girlfriend, do you?” He asked.

Lily shook her head. “No, I think it’s perfectly alright for you to wait for the right girl.”

“What if I don’t want that?” Remus looked down and started playing with the corner of their shared blanket.

“To wait?”

“The right girl.” Remus didn’t dare look up to meet Lily’s face.

“I think it’s perfectly alright for you to wait for the right boy.”

Remus’ head slowly raised, and he met Lily’s eyes. She had the softest smile. Remus let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and felt Lily place a comforting foot on his.

“Moony? You down there?” Broken out of his trance, Remus turned his head in the direction of James’ voice.

“Yeah?” He called back.

“Lads! He’s down here!” James yelled, presumably back into the dorm. There were sounds of commotion and Remus quickly turned back to Lily.

“Lily, they don’t - I haven’t told -”

“Don’t worry.” Again, with that soft smile. Lily Evans was something else.

James, Peter, and Sirius came clambering down the stairs and before Remus knew what was happening, they launched themselves onto the sofa. Lily yelped and moved out of the way. “What the fuck -” Remus was squished under the weight of the three fully grown boys.

“Happy birthday Moony!” James yelled from the top of the pile.

“It’s after midnight!” Peter, middle, supplied.

“Happy birthday, Moons.” Sirius. Bottom.

Sirius’ head was pressed against Remus’ chest and while it felt delightful, and perfect, and oh so right, he really needed everyone to get off of him because if Sirius felt the hardon that he was trying to fight back then not only would this be his last birthday at Hogwarts, it would also be his last day at Hogwarts, period. “Can we maybe not kill the birthday boy?” Merlin bless Lily.

“Lily!” James finally noticed that his girlfriend was also in the room and he pushed himself off the pile. This caused Peter to fall off but Sirius didn’t move.

“You’re squishing me, asshole,” Remus said, trying to push him off.

“Oh shut up, you’re fine,” Sirius got off of Remus and offered him a hand to help pull him back into a sitting position. Remus took the hand and tried to shut his brain off when it also felt right. Sirius sat on the couch where Lily had previously been. Peter was on the floor.

“So, Moony, you ready for the party?” James was now sitting in the armchair with Lily on his lap. Remus groaned in response.

“Oh come on, it’ll be great! We’ve even got other Houses coming!” Sirius added, as if that was supposed to make him feel better.

Sensing this was the wrong move, James piped up. “Not too many though, just a few we know you like to study with. Speaking of, do you happen to know a Ravenclaw Prefect? He was standing with the group, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with him,” Remus stopped breathing.

“You’re going to have to be more specific than that, James,” Lily teased.

“Uh, he has black hair, a little taller than me, kinda looks like Sirius but shorter hair and ten times more awkward,” James laughed.

“Oh! Charlie! He’s lovely! How do you know him, Remus?” Lily asked.

Remus was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that James said he looked like Sirius that he didn’t answer right away. He did not have a type. “Oh, uh, he prefers the library when it’s late, we studied together last year.” At least this wasn’t a lie.

“Oh ok, good ‘cause Padfoot was really trying to sell the party and said that you’d love to see him there. He looked pretty pleased.” James said.

“You WHAT?” Remus snapped his head to look at Sirius. No one said anything.

“I, uh, we can uninvite him, if you want?” Sirius said softly, scratching the back of his neck.

“I thought you said that you study together though?” Peter asked.

Remus breathed heavily. “Past tense. He doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore.”

“Well, I think you might be wrong there, he seemed excited,” Sirius said, thinking that it would help.

“Yeah, well I’m not!” Silence. Again. “Look, fine, whatever. Maybe he won’t show up.” Remus sighed and got up off the couch.

“Remus I-” Sirius started

“No. I’m going to bed.” Remus left the room and went up the stairs to the dorm. He got into his bed. He still wasn’t tired. At least he didn’t cuss out Sirius this time.

____________

Remus’ birthday for the most part passed by in an uneventful blur. He was debating talking to Lily about the whole Charlie situation seeing as she was now officially the only person who knew he was gay. And she likes boys too, maybe she would have some advice?

Remus’ birthday fell on a Friday this year so he still had classes to go to but luckily, he wouldn’t have to worry about the hangover he’s counting on happening tomorrow. Remus was tired. Not because he didn’t get enough sleep, no, it was more a mental tiredness. He was looking forward to getting absolutely pissed tonight and just forgetting about everything.

Remus never looked forward to the parties the Marauders threw for his birthday. He enjoyed himself, sure, but he always felt quite out of place. Everyone was there for him. Or, well, that was the idea. Should he dress up? Sirius always did for his own birthday. But that was Sirius, he was an outlier in the data. Maybe he should get dressed up. This is his last one, and maybe Charlie will show up. Maybe that’s all Remus needs. A good fuck.

He sighed, looking himself over in the mirror. He decided that the jumper the Potters got him for Christmas and a pair of jeans was the best he was going to look. He could hear music and loud chatter from the Common Room. The party had already started, it seemed.

“Moony?” Sirius knocked on the bathroom door. There was also that issue. There had been no formal apology between him and Sirius. They hadn’t had the chance to be alone yet. It seemed that now was that chance.

Remus opened the door. Sirius was standing there wearing The Jeans and a Bowie shirt that Remus had given him for his birthday that year. Once again, looking far too good. “Nice shirt,” He joked lightly.

“Thanks, my idiot of a best friend got it for me,” Sirius replied, matching Remus’ light tone. That was a good sign.

“Listen, Pads, about last night -”

“Already forgotten. Today’s your day, Moons, you should get to spend it with the people you want to.”

Remus met Sirius’ eyes. “Thanks.”

“And as my apology -”

“You don’t need to -”

“Yes, I do,” Sirius’ tone changed. “And as I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted,” Remus rolled his eyes. “As my apology, I am going to share this beautiful bottle of firewhiskey with you tonight.” Sirius whipped out the bottle from behind him.

“Ok, I can get behind that,” Remus laughed.

“Good.” There was a pause. Their eyes stayed locked. Sirius was the one to break it. “Anyway, I, uh, I gotta piss so …”

“Oh, shit, yeah, go on,” Remus moved out of the doorway to the bathroom. Sirius handed him the bottle and went inside. After the door clicked shut, he unscrewed the top of the bottle and took a large swig. He left the bottle on Sirius’ nightstand and made his way down to the Common Room.

“MOONY!” Remus was met by a very loud James when he reached the landing. This got the attention of the rest of the crowd who all turned to look, letting out a cheer of “Happy birthday Remus!” Ever awkward, Remus opted for a wave in response.

Lily pushed her way through the crowd and gave Remus a big hug. “Happy birthday, love,” She said into his chest. She let go and looked up at him. There was just something about knowing that Lily was there for him that made everything feel infinitely better.

“Drink, for the birthday boy,” James appeared at Lily’s side. He wrapped an arm around her waist and passed Remus a cup with the other.

Remus took it and James raised his eyebrows expectantly. Remus sighed, brought the cup to his lips and chugged.

“There we go!” James gave Remus a rather forceful pat on the shoulder when the cup was empty. Remus laughed, thankful that he had friends to support his wish of getting plastered.

Suddenly, there was a hand gripping his shoulder from behind. Remus jumped a little. “Drink up, Moony my friend,” Sirius’s voice was right in his ear, his free hand reaching around Remus to pour a hefty amount of firewhiskey into the empty cup Remus was still holding. Lily looked utterly shocked.

“Not planning on seeing tomorrow?” She joked.

Sirius moved to Remus’ side, his and still on his shoulder, his arm now wrapped around. Remus wasn’t sure if the warm feeling he was experiencing was because of that or the alcohol that was making its way into his system. Regardless of the reason, he started to down the drink in his hand. “You only turn 18 once, Evans, come on!” Sirius teased.

“Yeah, and you only die once too!” She shot back.

“Evans, if you are to one day become Mrs. Prongs, then I must inform you that us Marauders are actually immortal,” Sirius said matter-of-factly.

Lily rolled her eyes. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Just you wait, I am going to be the sexiest eighty-year-old you’ve ever seen!” James exclaimed. Lily shook her head fondly and didn’t dispute.

Sirius removed his arm from around Remus and started a heated discussion with James about how no, he was to be the sexiest eighty-year-old. Remus tried not to shiver at the loss of contact. He took this time to scan the room. Partly looking for Charlie, party looking for Peter. He always did get himself in the oddest situations at parties.

“So,” Remus stopped his scanning to see Lily had removed herself from James and was now standing at his side. “I’ve been thinking,” She said. Remus could sense that she was being very careful with what she was saying. “Charlie.”

Remus turned his head to look at her. “What about him?”

“I don’t mean to overstep anything, but, based on facts that I now have and your reaction last night, I feel like you two have … history?”

Remus chuckled a little. “You’d be correct with that assumption,” He took another drink. “Didn’t end so great, but also if he shows up tonight, I’m worried he might get the wrong idea.”

“The wrong idea being?”

“That I’m still interested,” Remus finished the rest of his drink.

“So, I’ll take it that it was not a mutual end to things then?” Lily was still hesitant when she spoke.

“Right again!” Remus laughed, starting to feel the buzz that he’d been chasing. “I felt bad because I was essentially using him because the person I am actually interested in will never be interested in me, so …”

“Well, at least you knew to call it off before it was serious,” Lily shrugged. Remus almost opened his mouth to correct her, maybe make a joke about how that was the issue. That it wasn’t Sirius. “So, who is this person that will never be interested in you?” She joked, bumping her shoulder into his side.

Remus sighed. He trusted Lily immensely. So far it was feeling really good to talk to her about these things, and he knew he never would be able to say it out loud without the alcohol so this would probably be his only chance to come clean. “Sirius.” Lily’s eyes widened and her hand flew to her mouth. Remus nodded his head knowingly and raised his cup to his lips only to remember that it was empty. He looked around the room for Sirius so he could get a top-up. “Where is that tosser, anyway?”

“Are you going to tell him?”

Remus stopped scanning the room again and looked at Lily. “I don’t -” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. “He’s so painfully straight. I don’t want to make things awkward. Instead, I will be drinking my pain away tonight!” He raised his empty cup into the air. Lily just shook her head at him, knowing there was nothing she could say to change his mind.

An hour went by and Remus was drunk. The bottle of firewhiskey had emptied rather quickly and he was really craving a smoke. Remus wasn’t one for dancing, so he mostly spent his time at parties standing in the back watching everyone else jump around. It worked out nicely because he was able to sneak away to the dorm to smoke or take a break from the stimulating environment without his friends following him.

He stumbled up the stairs, one hand trailing up the wall to keep his balance. He pushed his way into the dorm and went to his nightstand to grab his pack of cigarettes. He pulled one out and made his way over to the window. He pushed it open, lit up, and took a drag.

“I was wondering where you were,” Remus turned quickly and saw Charlie standing in the doorway.

“Hey.”

“Nice party.”

“I guess yeah,” Remus took another drag.

“Haven’t seen you much this year,” Charlie took a step into the room. Remus sighed.

“This year’s been mental,” Remus laughed lightly. Charlie walked closer.

“I was surprised to get the invite,” Charlie chuckled, making eye contact with Remus. Charlie had nice eyes. Not Sirius nice, but he could still appreciate them. Remus shrugged. Charlie took the neglected cigarette out of Remus’ hand and took a drag.

“Didn’t know you smoked.”

“I don’t, not usually anyway,” Remus nodded in response, not really sure what else to say. Charlie placed what was left of the cigarette on the window ledge.

“Listen, Charlie -” Remus was cut off by Charlie pressing his lips firmly against his.

Remus made a surprised sound, but he didn’t hate it. Merlin, it had been so long since he had been kissed. He found himself responding quite quickly, his arms snaking around Charlie. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. It was his birthday, after all. He could snog someone if he wanted to.

“Mm, Remus,” Charlie moaned into the kiss. Remus could feel himself growing hard. He could also shag someone if he wanted to. Charlie broke away to trail kisses across his jaw and down his neck. Remus kept his eyes closed. Charlie kept moving lower and when his lips were no longer on skin Remus opened his eyes to see him move to his knees.

“Merlin, fuck,” Remus breathed as Charlie started undoing his jeans. He pulled them down and started palming over Remus’ bulge.

Charlie hooked his fingers into the waistband of Remus’ briefs and slowly pulled them down. His dick sprung free. Remus was a little embarrassed at how quickly he got this hard. “Fuck, I’ve missed your cock.”

Remus reached down and gripped hard on Charlie’s hair. “I’ve missed your mouth.”

Charlie chucked but slowly started licking the tip. He wrapped a hand around it and lowered his mouth. Remus groaned at his dick was met with the wet heat that was Charlie’s mouth. He started bobbing his head, stroking whatever wouldn’t fit. Remus tightened his grip on Charlie’s hair. “Fuck, yeah, don’t stop,” Charlie looked up and made eye contact with Remus. He did kinda look like Sirius, now that he thought about it. Fuck, no, don’t think about Sirius right now. But he couldn’t help it. Charlie’s eyes turned into the specific shade of grey that simply draws Remus in. His hair was longer, more curl to it. Perfect bone structure. Sirius, on his knees, Remus’ cock shoved down his throat. Remus pulled on Sirius’ hair, pushing more of his cock in Sirius’ mouth and he came suddenly with a loud “Fuck!”.

Remus opened his eyes when he heard gagging and looked down to see not Sirius but Charlie. He quickly released his grip on Charlie’s hair. There was a creak and Remus’ head shot in the direction of the door. That was Sirius. “Shit, fuck!” He scrambled for his jeans, trying to cover himself. Charlie swallowed rather loudly and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He stood up, looked back and forth between Sirius and Remus.

“See you ‘round. Happy birthday, Remus,” And he was gone.

Remus finished zipping up his jeans and looked back up at the doorway but Sirius, too, was gone.

____________

It had been a week. The incident of the Birthday Blowjob had not been talked about. Remus wasn’t sure if he was thankful for this or not. On one hand, he was glad not to talk about it because that would also entail having to find out just how long Sirius was standing there. On the other hand, he just wanted things to get back to normal and if that meant talking about it then he just wanted to get it over with. Remus hadn’t seen Charlie, either. He wanted it to stay that way. If he ever did bump into him, he would probably play the “I was so drunk I don’t remember anything card”. It was a low move, but he did cum down his throat imagining it was someone else, so he was already pretty close to the bottom. At least he didn’t moan Sirius’ name.

He was tired of being constantly on edge. Even if Sirius had only seen the tail end (Remus prayed to whatever entity would listen that he wasn’t there watching him cum), he still would have seen Charlie on his knees and Remus half-naked. Not much for the imagination there. He was on edge because essentially that had been his coming out to Sirius. He didn’t know how Sirius felt about gay people, it never really came up in conversation. For all he knew, Sirius could be the nastiest homophobe. Remus’ biggest worry used to be that Sirius was straight and would turn him down. Now it was that Sirius was repulsed by him.

Remus took it upon himself to put some distance between him and Sirius. He desperately wanted to talk to Lily, but he didn’t want to disclose the graphic details. James? No, that would involve him having to come out first. He sighed.

It was a Friday night and Remus was trying to do some reading from the comfort of the Common Room. He tried to forget that this time last week he was sharing a bottle of firewhiskey with Sirius. He tried to forget that as the night went on, they stopped using cups and just took gulps from the bottle. He tried to forget that he’d had Sirius’ saliva in his mouth. How he would like to have more of it. Remus shut his book with more force than he had planned. Merlin’s sake.

“Hey.”

Remus jumped a little and looked over the back of the couch. Sirius was standing at the bottom of the stairs. Like Remus, he was in his pyjamas.

“Hey,” Remus said back.

“Mind if I join you?” Remus shrugged and Sirius walked over. Remus pulled his legs closer to his body so Sirius could sit on the couch with him. Their feet touched. There was a pause. “Do you hate me?”

Remus blinked a few times. “What? No, why would you think that?”

“It just - I feel like lately you’re always mad at me.” Sirius looked down and started picking at his nail polish.

Remus was about to deny that claim until he thought about it. Yeah, he really has been mad at Sirius a lot this term. “I don’t mean to be.”

Sirius chuckled. “Thanks,” His voice dripped with sarcasm.

“No, I just mean … There’s been a lot going on, y’know?” It wasn’t really a lie. Remus just didn’t want to say that the truth was that he’d discovered that it was easier to be mad at Sirius than to pine over him.

Sirius nodded slowly. “About last week -”

“Sirius -”

“No, please let me finish,” Remus shut his mouth. “I just, I want to know what I did that made you feel like you couldn’t tell me.” Sirius kept his head down.

Remus found that he was holding his breath. What was up with this couch and confessions? “Don’t take it personally, really. Lily’s the only one who knew.”

“You told Lily?” Sirius’ head snapped up.

“Well, I mean, she figured it out. All it took was my reaction to you inviting Charlie it seems.”

“So, are you two …”

Remus laughed lightly. “No. Well, last year. He was, uh. That’s who I was with when Prongs caught me sneaking back in.”

“Oh,” Sirius said. He was avoiding Remus’ eyes, looking over his shoulder instead. Remus nodded and started picking at the dirt under his fingernails. “So, you’re -”

“Gay,” Remus didn’t want to hear whether Sirius was going to use a different word or not.

“… How did you know?”

That caught Remus’ attention. “What?” Sirius was red. “Well, I guess my first clue was that I didn’t understand what you lot were on about when it came to girls,” Remus chuckled. “And then I realized that I felt that way about blokes.”

“Like Charlie?”

“Sure.”

“Were you nervous?” Sirius was picking at his nails again.

“Yeah. But I kinda forgot about all that when he kissed me.” Remus shrugged. If Sirius was going to make a fuss about this, he probably would have already.

Sirius nodded, taking this information in. “I didn’t have plans on Valentine’s Day.”

“Huh?” Remus didn’t understand the connection.

“I lied.” Sirius flushed again. Remus liked that shade of red on him. “I wanted to spend it with you.” Remus froze. He could feel his heart beating faster in his chest. “And I kept teasing you because I was worried you’d gone and made plans with someone already. I didn’t mean to hurt your hip that night, I really am sorry.” Remus had almost forgotten about that part of the night. He didn’t know how to feel about the fact that Sirius hadn’t. “I didn’t want to admit to myself why I wanted to spend it with you and then you just snapped at me. The chocolate didn’t make things any better,” Sirius was still looking at his hands. Remus’ mind was going a mile a minute. Sirius wanted to spend Valentine’s Day with him? Has Sirius been interested all this time? Since when? Surely, he would have noticed Sirius flirting with him? Right? “And then I felt like I really fucked up when we told you Charlie was invited,” Remus nodded. “Hence the firewhiskey,” He laughed to himself. Remus enjoyed the sound. “And then … well you know the rest.” Sirius was still red. Remus felt his face heat up the same way.

“Sorry you had to see that.”

Sirius chuckled again. “I’m not.”

Remus’ breath caught in his throat. He was about to open his mouth to say something, he wasn’t sure what exactly, when the portrait hole opened and James and Lily came stumbling through, back from their patrols.

“James, we’ve been over this, we both can’t fit through at the same time!” Lily said through laughs.

“But I don’t want to stop holding your hand!” James whined.

Sirius snorted rather loudly, and James and Lily noticed the two boys on the couch. “James Potter, ever the sap.”

“Oh, shut it, Black, you’re just jealous.” James tried to downplay the redness of his cheeks by teasing Sirius.

Sirius pushed himself up off the couch and stretched, his shirt riding up ever so slightly. Remus tried, and failed, not to stare at the patch of exposed skin. “Well, time to call it a night. We’ve got party planning to do in the morning!” Sirius clapped his hands together and joined James in walking towards the stairs.

“Party? What party?” Lily asked, stopping in her tracks.

“It’s ol’ Prongsie’s birthday soon Evans! Surely you haven’t forgotten?” Sirius teased.

“I didn’t forget. It’s just, didn’t we just have a party?”

Sirius barked out a laugh and wrapped his arm around James’ shoulders. “You are quite observant, Evans. We did in fact just have a party, but that was for Moony. This one is for Prongs.”

Lily sighed. “Fine. But just, maybe not as big as the last one?”

Sirius broke out into a grin. Lily groaned.

____________

A little over a week had passed. Whatever it was that happened on the couch a week after Remus’ birthday was never discussed again. And Remus was going out of his mind. He wasn’t sure what to make of the whole situation. His first instinct was to talk to Lily, but he felt like Sirius would want to keep whatever he was trying to say a secret. That also made Remus’ mind spin. There were things that Sirius only wanted Remus to know.

James’ birthday unfortunately fell on a Monday this year, so the party was set for the Saturday before. Remus wasn’t sure what the crowd was going to be like. He knew that James was more popular than him so logically there would be more people, but on the other hand, Lily did ask for a smaller group and knowing James he probably let her have that win. Charlie was not invited.

Remus was nervous. He felt like tonight was the night to decipher Sirius. Once Sirius was drunk, he would be an open book. Remus was not planning on drinking. He wanted to be able to remember whatever Sirius says to him.

He was in the bathroom, fixing his hair when he heard the music start. Voices became louder and it was eerily similar to last time. “Stop fussing, you look good,” Remus’ hands froze. He saw the reflection of Sirius standing in the doorway through the mirror. He looked good.

“Hair’s getting a bit long I think,” It was starting to curl at the ends.

“No, I like it,” Sirius stepped forward and reached up to run his fingers through Remus’ hair. Remus’ eyes fluttered close at the touch. “Remus, I- ”

Remus slowly opened his eyes. They were standing really close. Sirius’ eyes quickly glanced down to Remus’ lips. The air was thick. Gathering all his courage, Remus slowly leaned down and removed the few inches between them.

Sirius’ lips were wonderful. They were softer than they looked, tasted like sweets with a hint of tobacco from the cigarette he bummed off Remus earlier. But best of all, they kissed back. Remus felt like he was going to faint when Sirius’ lips moved together with his own. Sirius’ hands slipped from Remus’ hair and rested on the back of his neck. Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius’ waist and pulled him closer. The kiss deepened and Remus could have sworn he heard Sirius moan. His grip tightened and he pulled away from Sirius’ lips, kissing across his jaw, trailing down to his neck.

“We should probably head down, no?” Sirius asked breathlessly. Remus hummed in approval but didn’t stop. “Remus, if you don’t stop now then I’ll never let you.”

Remus chuckled. “Now that sounds like a good deal to me,” He bit down lightly on Sirius’ neck. Sirius swore and gripped onto the hairs at the bottom of Remus’ neck.

“Fuck, I want you, Moony.”

Remus paused to look at Sirius’ face. Fuck did he want Sirius too.

“Hey, are you tossers coming down or not?” James’ voice tore them apart.

“Yeah, just a sec!” Remus shouted back. Sirius was still regaining his composure. Remus revelled in the fact that he was the cause of that. “Continue this later?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“That better be a promise.”

“Oh, I promise,” Remus said, smacking Sirius’ ass on his way out of the bathroom.

____________

Torture. The night was nothing, if not torture. Once Sirius had regained his grasp on the world, there was no stopping him. Little things mostly, just to tease Remus. But on multiple occasions, he squished his way through groups of people “accidentally” brushing his ass directly over Remus’ crotch. It wasn’t until the fourth time that he tried to do this that Remus decided that two can play at that game. He gripped Sirius by the waist, holding him in place. No one was paying attention, they were all trying to have their own conversations over the music. Remus pressed himself harder against Sirius, making his erection known. “Are you just going to keep teasing me all night?” He asked, directly into Sirius’ ear.

“Maybe …” Remus tightened his grip and Sirius bit on his lip.

“How would you like it if I did that to you, huh?” Remus lightly nibbled on Sirius’ earlobe. He let one of his hands trail lower, down the front of Sirius’ thigh. “I could just palm you right here.” Remus felt Sirius shudder. “Oh? You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Sirius started nodding his head feverishly. “Hmm, well maybe you should have thought about that before you started teasing me, then.” Remus released Sirius and took a step back.

“Oi, Pads! How much have you had to drink, mate? I’ve never seen you this red!” Remus smirked at James’ comment. He watched as Sirius tried to pull himself together while James made his way closer.

“Just need a bit of air, I think,” Sirius choked out. Remus tried not to laugh.

“Hey! Moons!” Remus’ head perked up and he joined the conversation. “Take Pads upstairs and crack a window, yeah? Lily will be furious if he pukes down here.”

“Yeah, sure,” Remus agreed and wrapped an arm around Sirius. “Come on mate, let’s get you upstairs.”

They turned and made their way towards the stairs, pushing through groups of people as they went.

The second they made it into the dorm Remus pushed Sirius against the door and kissed him. He responded just as hungrily. Sirius’ lips were still as sweet as before, less tobacco, but no alcohol. It seems that Sirius also wanted to be sober for tonight. Remus was thankful.

Remus broke off the kiss and started trailing kisses across Sirius’ collarbones. “Can I confess something?” Remus paused what he was doing and met Sirius’ eyes. Sirius’ face reddened and he looked away. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about when I walked in on you,” Remus raised an eyebrow. “I came so hard that night thinking about it,” Remus went back to kissing Sirius’ neck. He remembered their conversation on the couch. Sorry you had to see that. I’m not.

“I also have a confession,” He said. After a few more kisses, “I was imagining it was you on your knees.”

Sirius groaned. Remus felt the vibrations with his lips. Sirius lightly pushed Remus off and sunk down to his knees. Remus tried not to moan as Sirius started to unbutton his jeans. He unzipped them tantalizingly slow. Once undone, Sirius pushed them down Remus’ legs and palmed his hand against Remus’ erection. Sirius slowly pulled down Remus’ boxers and his dick was finally free. Sirius glanced up at Remus. He nodded, and Sirius began trailing his tongue across Remus’ shaft. Remus instinctively reached out to get fistfuls of Sirius’ hair. He moaned and Remus tightened his grip.

“I’ve had enough of your teasing,” Remus seethed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sirius replied, his innocent demeanour a stark contrast to his current actions.

“Don’t make me just fuck your mouth, Pads” Remus was mostly kidding. He very much had a dominant side, but he’d never had many opportunities to use it. Even with Charlie, it stayed relatively dormant.

“Yes, please.”

Remus choked on his spit. Sirius did not respond with words, instead, he simply let his jaw go slack. Remus nervously thrust his hips, edging his dick past Sirius’ lips. He kept going until he reached the point where he figured Sirius couldn’t take more. Sirius, ever impatient, reached for Remus’ thighs and forcefully pulled him closer until his nose was flush with Remus’ stomach. Remus let out a moan. Never in his life had someone put his whole dick in their mouth.

Sirius gave Remus’ thigh a tap, bringing him back down to earth. Slowly, Remus pulled out and thrust back in. It felt amazing. He gripped harder on Sirius’ hair and squeezed his eyes shut as the moan Sirius released vibrated around his dick.

“Your mouth is so good,” Remus said, continuing to fuck into it. Sirius moaned again, louder, if that was possible. His cheeks were red, and spit was dripping out of his mouth, he was quite the sight. “You look so fucking good right now,” Sirius made a noise that Remus hadn’t heard before and he pulled out and removed his hands from Sirius’ hair, worried that he’d hurt him.

“Why’d you stop?” Sirius’ voice was hoarse, and Remus’ dick twitched.

“I thought I hurt you,” Remus said. Sirius bit his lip in embarrassment.

“You didn’t, not that I’d mind,” Remus inhaled sharply at that revelation. “I just, really liked what you said.”

“That you look good with my dick in your mouth?” Sirius nodded, biting back a moan. “Well, it’s true,” Remus reached down and swiped up some of the drool from Sirius’ chin before bringing the finger into Sirius’ mouth. Sirius groaned.

“Fuck, I need you.”

Remus pulled Sirius up by the collar of his shirt and smashed their lips together. “Bed. Now.” He growled into Sirius’ mouth. Sirius obeyed and all but sprinted to Remus’ bed. Remus kicked off his shoes along with his jeans and underwear currently pooled at his ankles. He grabbed his wand and locked the door. No interruptions this time.

Remus turned around and made his way over to Sirius. He was laying in the middle of the bed on his back. On his way there he had kicked off his shoes and his jeans were also gone. Remus walked up to the bed and got on it, straddling Sirius. He palmed over Sirius’ dick. “What do you want?”

“Anything, please, just touch me.” Sirius moaned, closing his eyes. Remus smiled and lifted his hips to pull Sirius’ underwear down. His dick twitched upon contact with the cool air. Remus leaned over Sirius and reached for his nightstand. He opened the first drawer and pulled out his bottle of lube. He sat up and popped the cap, squeezing some into his hand. He tossed the bottle onto the bed and brought his hand down and wrapped his fingers around Sirius. Sirius made a sound at the back of his throat at the touch. Remus began stroking Sirius teasingly slow. When he let go, Sirius whined, and Remus loved the sound. Needy Sirius was definitely a Sirius that he enjoyed. Remus reached for the lube again and squeezed some more onto his hand before bringing it down to his own dick. Sirius wined again and bucked his hips. “Impatient, are we?” Remus teased.

“Please, Moony,” Remus was loving this new side of Sirius he was discovering.

“Please what?” Remus asked, cocking his head to the side.

“More, I need more.”

Remus loosened his grip on his dick and reached his fingers to wrap around Sirius’ dick as well. He started stroking them together and Sirius moaned, sinking his head back into the pillow. “There’s a good boy.” Sirius squeezed his eyes shut and his hips bucked involuntarily.

Remus tightened his grip on their cocks. “Oh, so that’s what you liked, huh?” Sirius bit down on his lip. “You like knowing what a good boy you’re being?” Sirius nodded his head frantically. “Use your words, come on.”

“I like it.”

“You can do better than that.” Remus tutted, giving their dicks a squeeze.

“I like … I like being your good boy.” Remus smiled and picked up the pace.

“Good.”

“Remus,” Sirius moaned. It was only his name, but Remus thought it sounded downright sinful the way it all but dripped out of Sirius’ mouth. “I need you, please, Merlin, please.”

Remus reached for the lube again. Sirius whimpered at the loss of Remus’ hand. He coated a few of his fingers before bringing them back to Sirius, this time much lower than were they were before. “Here?” Remus asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yes,” Sirius breathed. Remus rubbed a finger against Sirius’ hole and slowly pressed in. Sirius groaned at the sensation.

“Have you done this before?” Remus asked, slowly thrusting his finger in and out of Sirius.

“Y-yes,” Sirius stuttered out.

“Not so good then, are we?” Remus added a second finger.

“I am, I am,” Sirius moaned out. “I pretended it was y-you,”

Remus tried not to moan at that confession. It was incredibly hot thinking about Sirius, just a few feet and 2 layers of bed curtains away, fingering himself, thinking about him.

“You’re all mine then, huh?”

Sirius moaned as Remus started scissoring his fingers. “All yours, all yours,” he repeated.

“Good boy.”

Sirius let out a strangled cry and Remus added a third finger, for good measure.

“Please, please, please,” Sirius whined.

Remus removed his fingers and quickly stripped out of his jumper. Even though Sirius had seen him shirtless before, Remus was still self-conscious about his scars and wanted to keep his top on until the last possible second.

He reached for Sirius’ shirt and he arched his back to let Remus pull it up. The shirt went over Sirius’ head and he lifted his arms up. Remus let the shirt bunch up at Sirius’ wrists and decided to keep it there. He pressed Sirius’s wrists into the headboard of the bed. “Stay.” Sirius nodded, eagerly.

Remus reached for the lube. After he successfully coated his dick again, he lifted one of Sirius’ legs up and rested it on his shoulder. He pressed his dick against Sirius’ hole.

“Please, Remus, please,” Sirius moaned, again with Remus’ name, and that’s all he needed. He pressed in slowly and Sirius moaned out. It was at this point that Remus was thankful for the noise coming from the Common Room that would drown out the noise coming from Sirius.

Remus kept easing himself in. When he was fully inside, he let his body relax. “You feel so fucking good, Sirius.”

Sirius moaned in response. He went to move his arms forward, but Remus reached out and gripped the middle of the shirt, pressing Sirius’s hands back into the headboard. “I thought I told you to stay?” Sirius whimpered. Slowly, Remus began to move, pulling out and thrusting back in. Sirius was biting on his lip, trying to keep his noises in. Remus started moving faster, desperate to get Sirius to release those dirty sounds.

“F-fuck, more, I need more.” Remus agreed with Sirius’ wish and picked up the pace. He leaned down and attached his lips to Sirius’.

The kiss was more teeth and breathing into mouths than lips, but Remus didn’t mind. “So good,” He moaned into Sirius’ mouth.

There was a knock at the door. Remus froze his movements. “Hey, just wanted to check-in, everything alright?” James.

Remus got an idea and slowly started thrusting back into Sirius. “Yeah, everything’s good!” Remus shouted back.

“And Pads? He hasn’t gone and made a mess, has he?”

Remus looked down at Sirius and raised his eyebrows, urging him to respond to James. Remus picked up his pace, fucking deeper and harder.

“Y-yeah! Everything’s good!” Sirius was straining, trying to keep his composure.

“You want me to come in? Moony and I can take shifts if you need it.”

Remus bit back laughter. “What d’you say? Want to take turns with me and Prongs?” He asked, quiet enough that only Sirius could hear.

Sirius squeezed his eyes shut. “N-no! That’s okay! Go enjoy your p-party! OH!” Sirius pressed his lips tightly together. Remus had found the perfect opportunity to find Sirius’ prostate. He kept hitting it.

“You sure?” James was persistent.

Sirius opened his mouth, but nothing came out other than the tiny sounds that he couldn’t stop from escaping.

“We’re good Prongs, he’s perking up, we’ll probably be down in a bit,” Remus replied, punctuating his sentence with a particularly hard thrust.

“Okay, just find me if you need anything,” James said.

When Remus figured enough time had passed and James had returned to the party, he reached for Sirius’ wrists and pulled off the shirt. Sirius’ arms fell immediately, and he gripped down on Remus’ sides, his nails digging into the skin.

“You did so good, so so good.” Remus pulled out completely and Sirius whined at the loss. “Why don’t you show me how good you are and get on top?”

Sirius nodded vigorously and he sat up to swap spots with Remus. Remus laid back on the bed and watched as Sirius straddled him and positioned himself. He gripped Remus’ dick and slowly sunk down. “Fuuuuck,” Remus moaned. Sirius slowly raised himself up and then swiftly back down again. Remus was in heaven. Sirius leaned his head back as he bounced up and down. “You’re so fucking hot.”

Sirius smirked, the cocky bastard, and began fucking himself faster. Remus loved how Sirius’ dick bounced around with him, dripping precum as it went. He could feel himself growing closer.

“Fuck, fuck, I’m going to cum,” Sirius moaned, and Remus started thrusting up in time with Sirius. Sirius reached behind him and held onto Remus’ thighs to balance himself as he started moving faster.

“Are you going to cum without me even touching you?” Remus realized.

Sirius bit down on his lip. “Mmmhmm.”

“Oh, fuck Sirius, yes, yes, cum for me, such a good boy.”

“Fuck, Remus!” The sound Sirius let out as he came was too much to handle for Remus. Sirius kept bouncing on his dick as ropes of cum coated Remus’ stomach. Remus lifted his arms and gripped Sirius’ hips. He pulled him down at the same time that he thrust one last time, cumming with Sirius’ name on his lips.

After the two boys caught their breath, Sirius removed himself from Remus. He reached for his wand that was resting on the nightstand and with a quick scourgify, the mess he left on Remus was gone. He then flopped down on the bed, resting his head on Remus’ chest. “Fucking hell.”

Remus let out a breathy laugh and started to lazily play with Sirius’ hair. “I would very much agree with that.”

“Remind me to get on your bad side more often,” Sirius laughed.

“What do you mean by that?”

“If all it took was me pissing you off a couple of times for you to fuck me like that then I will gladly face the consequences.”

“I think you’re forgetting that we made up each time, idiot.”

“Are you going to tell me that there wasn’t lasting sexual tension?” Remus didn’t answer. “Exactly my point,” Sirius laughed.

“If you piss me off one more time then you’re going to get a lot more than a fucking.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, now.” Sirius tutted.

Remus lifted Sirius’ head off his chest and repositioned himself so he was on top of Sirius, one hand on either side of his head. “When have you ever known me to not follow through on something?” Remus asked, lowering his head to kiss across Sirius’ collar bones. When he reached the nape of his neck he bit down slightly and sucked a large bruise.

Sirius pushed Remus’ head away. “Okay, okay, I take it back. I can’t do another round just yet, Merlin!”

Remus chuckled and put his weight back on the bed beside Sirius. “Don’t mess with me, Black.”

“Oh, you know I already plan to.”

[risingwiththeheatabove]

A Little Honey - Chapter 7 - You Worry Me

Pairing: Josh X Reader

Series list

Warnings for series: Alcoholism, toxic parents, domestic abuse, drug use, alcohol use, explicit sexual content, smut, unprotected sex, fingering, oral, blood kink, praise kink, daddy kink, and probably so much more that I am forgetting.

Word Count 4.2K

February 2022

“You are ditching me for Danny?!” You whine as you throw yourself onto Nora’s bed.

“I am sorry! I can tell him I can’t make it and we can have a girls night.” She says stepping out of the bathroom already dressed for dinner.

“No, don’t cancel. I want at least one of us to have a valentine.” You huff as you sit up to watch her finish her make up. She had borrowed a red top of yours for the evening and wanted to finish the look with a smokey eye.

“I am sure he just got wrapped up in tour prep.” She offered Josh an excuse for over looking the holiday.

“The same tour Danny is prepping for?” You shot back with a slightly annoyed tone.

“He is a particularly nervous little guy. He probably got distracted counting his rhinestones.” She joked in an attempt to make you laugh.

You were not to in a very humorous mood. It was quiet as she finished up her make up. “What will you do tonight?” She asked as you walked her to the front door.

“Don’t worry about me. Go have fun!” You said as you saw her off.

Things had been different between you and Nora. For the first time you felt an unnerving distance forming. She had been working more hours and spending time out with friends. You were happy for her, but couldn’t help but feel worried about your relationship. Ever since the day you picked her up from the truck stop you had been inseparable. There were no secrets, you shared absolutely everything. Over the past month that no longer felt true. Your conversations were short, she rarely shared her plans unless asked. Suddenly she was too busy for your sisterly outings. You felt guilty thinking maybe you pushed her away or replaced her with Josh.

Your relationship with Josh was just as confusing. The only difference being you were now sleeping together. A lot.

December 2021

“Good morning Honey.” Josh said sweetly into your ear before placing a kiss on your forehead. Your bodies still naked and tangled together from the night before. You nuzzle your face into his neck and hum in response. He brushed light circles over your back with his fingers.

“Do we have to drive back today?” You ask muffled by his skin pressed against your lips.

“Maybe Nora can drive and we can get comfortable in the back.” He says grabbing your chin in his hand placing a suggestive kiss on your lips.

“That is wishful thinking for someone who left her at the bar last night.” You playfully remind him as you meet him for another kiss. His hands grazing the light purple hickeys on your neck. Causing your mind to recall the conversation you shared in the bathtub. The hopeless feeling found you once more as your mind wondered. He could sense your changing energy.

“Honey…” He said placing his hand on your cheek. Your attention brought back to him you offer a small smile in return. His eyes scanned yours as his own thoughts rolled around in his head. “I…” He started to speak but was interrupted by a loud knock at the door.

“Rise and shine lovers! Let’s choose the road or whatever the kids say!” Nora shouts as she continues knocking.

“Ughhh.” Josh groans as he rolls on to his back clearly annoyed.

You lean over offering another kiss before getting up and gathering your things. Upon returning to your hotel room you find Nora all to eager to ask about your evening. Pretending not to notice her staring at you as get dressed and start packing up.

“Come on! I get left at the bar and you wont even give me details?!” Nora pestered cheerfully as she finished packing her own things.

“It was great.” You respond trying to muster up a convincingly happy tone. Her expression changed, puzzled by your mood.

“What happened?” She asked softly as she took a seat next to your bag on the bed. You continued shoving things in until you could no longer ignore her.

“I am not sure. I have no fucking clue what Josh and I are! If we are fucking anything at all!” You begin to dump all of your feelings out. “He says he is in love with me, he says no rules, but then he ‘doesn’t want to put a label on things’. What the fuck is that shit? How am I supposed to feel?” Your face gets hot with anger as you begin pacing the room.

“Did you tell him what you want? You have a say in this as well.” She reminds you in a comforting tone.

“No…” You paused thinking about what she said. “You are right! I am going to tell him how I feel about his fucking games!” An angsty confidence washes over you. You turn to walk out the door.

“Slow your roll hot rod! Can we get back to Nashville before we have any emotional relationship discussions? We will all be trapped in a car together for 9 hours if this goes south.” Nora said half jokingly. You agreed to wait until you were back home. You both finish collecting your bags and meet Josh outside of his room. He shoots you his usual toothy grin as you catch his eye. You all walk to the Jeep together finding your usual spots. Nora in the back and you in the passenger seat.

The ride was unremarkable for the first few hours. You and Josh carried on like normal while Nora slept. Josh rambled on about tour and how amazing the new stage set up was going to be. You gave your best attempted at paying attention. You were chomping at the bit to tell him how you were feeling. When you heard Nora begin to snore you figured it was a safe time to redirect the conversation.

“We started working with a new costume designer as well. She does some really astonishing work. I can not wait for you to see my jumpsuits.” Josh said flashing you another smile.

“That’s awesome.” You say half heartedly as your attention drifts to the sites seen through the passenger window.

“I can tell your mind has been elsewhere today.” He says quietly as he laces his fingers through yours.

“I love you Josh. You tell me you love me but then can’t commit to anything! You say there are no more rules but then make a new rule! You said it yourself, these games we play get tiring. Do you ever consider what I want?” You whisper displeased.

“I know. I have not been fair and I am sorry. I wanted to talk to you this morning before we were so rudely interrupted.” He says as he rolls his eyes playfully attempting to make you laugh. It works. A small smile creeps up the corners of your mouth. “I am yours Honey. If you will have me.” He says placing a delicate kiss on top of your hand.

You feel the tears filling your eyes. “That is all I want.” You say wiping them away before they can spill over.

“But I want to court you properly! I want to do this right. I want to give you everything you deserve.” He says all to excited by the ideas buzzing around in his head.

You crumble at his words. The joyful tears flow faster than you can keep up with. Nora hears you crying and instantly wakes up to comfort you. She reaches around the seat hugging you above your shoulders.

“Shit, Josh what did you do?” Nora asked ready to attack. Josh throws his hands up in defense.

“Happy tears Nora.” You correct her as you collect yourself.

“What the fuck happened to waiting until we got back to Nashville?” She jests as she offers you a slap to the arm before returning to her nap.

February 14th 2022

Since returning from Michigan Josh had been incredibly busy with tour prep. If you weren’t on a date or sleeping together he was almost unreachable. Occasionally surprising you with a late night FaceTime that would end up feeling more like a booty call. A new space had grown between you two but you had hoped it would shrink as you figured out how to navigate your situation-ship during tour.

You decided to treat yourself tonight since Josh apparently was not going to. You ordered food from your favorite sushi restaurant and even splurged on a nice bottle of wine. Once you got back to the apartment you took a quick shower before slipping into your favorite oversized band tee and satin undies. You lit a candle and found a new show on Netflix. As you snuggled into the couch you saw a FaceTime coming through from Josh. You stared at your phone on the coffee table for a minute before deciding to answer.

“When were you planning on telling me that today is Valentines Day?!” He questions in his usual theatrical manner. You couldn’t help but giggle at his dumbfounded look. “Honey, I got caught up at the studio. Let me make it up to you. I can pick up your favorite sushi!” He says looking rather pleased with his idea.

“Already done.” You laugh as you show him your dinner.

“Shit! How about a bottle of wine?” He says stroking his chin hairs.

“Got that too.” You say as you hold up the bottle.

“Well I for one will not bend to society’s rules! I can celebrate my Valentine when ever I so choose!” He declares puffing out his chest. “Jake is out of town for a few days so the house is all ours. Come over tomorrow and we will have our Saint Valentines celebration!”

Just like that all of your sorrows seemed to drift away. Every time you would begin to worry about your relationship you would see his face or hear his voice and he would melt them all.

“You have some serious ass kissing to do this time Kiszka!” You tease him.

“Hmmm I think you can find better uses for my mouth.” He said shooting you a wink.

“Oh I plan on it!” You fire back causing him to blush.

Your call carry’s on while you finish eating. The two of you could find so little time to talk now a days you take in every minute you can get. Josh could tell you were being to doze off.

“Is someone falling asleep?” He laughs at the image of you on his screen. You were sitting up on the couch with your head hanging to one side and your eyes closed shut.

“Mmm I am just resting my eyes.” You hum back.

“Goodnight Honey, I love you. I am sorry for screwing things up today.”

“I love you.” You say as you end the call falling asleep on the couch.

You wake up the next morning still on the couch. Normally Nora would wake you up and you would move to your bed. The apartment was quiet. You stretch your arms over your head feeling a soreness in your neck. The price of sleeping on your cheap couch. You tip toe around your place, Nora was nowhere to be found. In the past you would have text her to make sure she was okay but with how things had been recently you decided to leave it be. She was probably safe and sound with Danny.

Knowing Josh would not be up for a few more hours. You decide to take your time getting ready. You pack up a bag, unsure of what Josh had planned you brought a variety. Debbie gifted you a nice bottle of tequila for Christmas, you bring it with just in case. It was an uncharacteristically warm February day. Most likely you would be spending the rest of the day in bed so you kept your outfit simple. Throwing on a black sports bra with an oversized flannel and black cotton shorts. You left your hair down and held off on any make up. You left a note on the counter for Nora to find. Slipping on your favorite Birkenstocks you grabbed your bags and headed to your truck. Josh’s favorite cafe was along the way so you swung by and ordered the usual.

“Honey I’m home!” You sing playfully as you walk through the front door.

“Hey, thats my line!” Josh said meeting you with a kiss, reaching out to help carry your bags.

“Jez what did you pack in this thing? Rocks?” He teased. You rolled your eyes at his cliche joke and gave him a swat to the ass. Causing him to jump comically as he walked into his room. You stepped into the kitchen to set down the lunch and tea you had picked up. He joined you in the kitchen the bags of food catching his eye. “I was supposed to be treating you today! Not the other way around.” He says coming up behind you and wrapping his hands around your waist. His head resting on your shoulder.

“I only have so many days left to spoil you. I plan on taking full advantage of them!” You say through a giggle while he threatens to tickle you.

“No more today! Today is about you!”

“Yes sir!” You spin around pretending to salute him.

“Ooo sir?” He says cocking an eyebrow, with a naughty smirk across his face.

“Can we at least eat first?” You ask taking his face into your hands and placing a quick peck on his lips.

You settle in at the table and unbox all of the delicious food. He hands you your tea as he joins in.

“You really are too good for me.” He coos as he takes a bite.

Unsure of how to take his comment you choose to ignore it.

“So what were you working on in the studio yesterday that had you so distracted?”

“Oh.. umm… Just tour stuff.” He uncharacteristically gave you a short answer.

“Well what do you have planned to make it up to me?” You ask excited to hear his ideas.

“I thought we could go for a walk down memory lane, literally. I want to take you back to the trail we went walking at when we first meet. Then I thought we could go to the bar where we decided to be ‘just friends’.” He said while doing air quotes. “Finishing off the night with cocktails made by yours truly and possibly a movie, your choice of course.”

“Wow Sugar! I am impressed! That all sounds lovely.” You respond pleasantly as you clear the table.

First stop was the park. You hadn’t been back since the first time Josh had taken you here. The trees were bare from the winter cold, and leaves littered the dried grass. You walked hand in hand around the trail as you had done many months ago.

“Remember the fan we ran into that day?” You ask.

“Oh yeah! She said she had tickets for some of the upcoming shows. I am surprised I didn’t see her on barricade!”

“I was so in awe of how sweet you were to her. I think that is when I started to fall in love with you.”

He paused his stride and pulled you into him. His arms wrapping inside of your open shirt and finding themselves in the small of your back. He placed a kiss on your forehead. You stood there for a few moments as he just looked over the features of your face. With small smile on his lips the entire time.

“What?” You ask playfully.

“Just thinking back on how badly I wanted to kiss you last time we were here.”

“What are you waiting for?” You say leaning in to meet his lips.

You walk around a little longer, Josh was quieter than usual. Assuming it was nothing more than pre-tour nerves you joined in his silence as he drove you back to his place. You had both planned on showering and getting ready before heading to the bar. Josh received a call from the bands manager just as you were walking back into the house.

“This can’t wait until tomorrow?” He asked clearly annoyed by the conversation. “Well I guess I will head that way now.” He says ending the call.

“Change of plans?” You ask attempting to hide your disappointment.

“Honey, I am so sorry. I have got to head to the studio to look over a few final details. Apparently ‘It absolutely can not wait another day!’” He said imitating his manager. “Do you want to ride with me? It shouldn’t take long.”

“Hmmm…” You mulled it over in your head. Sitting in an office with business men while Josh looks over documents or watching The Office cuddled up on the couch? “I think I will pass on this one. I will be right here when you get back!” You say as you get comfortable on the couch.

“I will be back as soon as I can!” He says placing a kiss on the top of your head before running out the door.

You settle in watching your show. An hour passes and you decide to take a nap. As soon as you fell asleep you were startled awake by a car door shutting outside. Pleasantly surprised by Josh’s efficiency you hop up to greet him at the door.

“That was quick!” You chirp as the door opens.

“What was?” Sam asked walking through the door, alone.

“I thought you were Josh.”

“Sorry to disappoint. Where did he run off to?”

“Your manager called and said he needed to look over some finishing touches or something. He left a little over an hour ago.” You pause. “Do you not need to be there?”

“I looked over that stuff last night with the other two.” Sam explained.

“Oh, why didn’t Josh look over it last night as well?” You asked.

“He wasn’t at the studio last night.” Sam stated confused by your question. You knew for a fact Josh had told you he was there last night. He even used it as his excuse for as to why he forgot Valentine’s Day.

“I must have gotten my days confused.” You attempt to hide your growing concern. “Was Danny excited for his date with Nora?” You try and redirect the conversation.

“Danny? Nora was with Josh last night. Danny told me he was staying home alone in protest of Valentines Day.” Sam said looking even more lost than you did.

“Nora was with Josh?” That was all you could manage to say as your brain was doing mental gymnastics to understand the situation.

“Yeah, Jake told me yesterday that they have been on a few dates. Apparently no body knows yet. Well expect Jake. It must be a twin thing.” Sam said shrugging off the situation. “You know I always thought he would end up with you, but I guess you guys really just are friends.”

You starred at him blankly while you tried to wrap your head around what he was saying. It couldn’t be true. But then again they had both lied to you about where they were last night. And they both seemed to be busy with things other than you over the past month. Nora claimed to be with friends you had never meet. Josh didn’t even offered explanations for where he was. Where you so blind to not put two and two together?

“Jake told you this?” Your voice shaking as you asked.

“Straight from the horses mouth! I couldn’t believe it either!” Sam said unbothered, walking into kitchen, noticing the bottle of tequila you had brought over. “Ohh do you want to make me a margarita?” He said completely oblivious to your emotional state.

“No I don’t want to make you a margarita Sam!” You mumble as you walk into Josh’s room to grab your bags. “You are telling me the man I love is dating my fucking sister and you think I want to make you a drink?!” You continue as you grab your phone and your keys.

“What do you want me to tell Josh when he gets back?” He shouts after you as you head out the door.

“Tell him what ever the fuck you want!” You yell as you slam the door shut.

Hot tears stream down your face as you drive back to your apartment. You throw your bags down as you stumble through the front door.

“You are back sooner than expected!” Nora says sitting at the table working on her laptop.

“Do you have anything you want to tell me?” You ask harshly.

“What happened? What are you talking about?” She asks as she stands up to walk towards you.

“Cut the shit Nora! I know everything. You were really going to hide this from me?”

“Fuck, who told you?” She asks knowing she had been caught.

“Sam, and Jake. I guess everyone knew but me!” You shout throwing your hands up.

“I wanted to be the one to tell you. We just weren’t ready!” She says taking a step forward. You motion for her to stay where she is.

“How does Danny feel about all of this?” The tears threatening to flood your vision again.

“I think he is pretty happy?” She says confused.

“Oh well thats just great! I am so glad everyone is fucking happy!” You walk into your room slamming the door and locking it behind you.

“Y/N Please come out and talk to me.” She says jiggling the door handle.

“Just leave me alone Nora.” You say as you crawl into bed. You hear her pacing outside your door.

“I have to leave for my shift but we are fucking talking about this when I get back.” She says as she grabs her keys and heads out the door.

How could she do this to you? You repeatedly asked yourself as you sobbed into your pillow. Eventually drifting off to sleep.

You woke up to a dark room, the sun having set. You check your phone to see the time and find 16 missed calls from Josh. You slump into the bathroom to wash your face and put up your hair. Just as you finish another call comes through. You answer quickly still in a fit of rage.

“What the fuck do you want?” You spit as you accept the call.

“I just need you to listen!” Josh says desperately on the other end.

“Oh so you can lie to me some more? Where were you last night? Cause I know you weren’t at the fucking studio!”

“I… I was with Nora…”

“Yeah I already figured that one out! So why are you calling me?” You say interrupting him.

“It’s not what you think Y/N! Please just stop for a second and listen!”

“Nora already confirmed everything Josh, so just leave me to lick my wounds.”

“I just spoke with Nora, this whole thing is a mess. Can I come over please?” He begged hopelessly.

You hang up on him unable to tell him no. You turned off your phone and stepped into the living room. Finding the book you were currently reading you sat on the couch and tried to distract yourself from everything going on. You read the same page over and over as your brain replayed the conversations you had that evening. A knock at the door removed you from your trance.

“Josh if thats you I swear to god…” You howl as you stomp over to the door.

“It’s just me!” You hear Sam announce from the other side.

“What do you want Sam?” You ask harshly as you open the door.

“So I am afraid I have made quite a messy situation. And I owe you a big apology!” He says sheepishly as he walks through the front door.

“Actually I should be thanking you! You were the only one telling me the fucking truth!” You say still pissed off.

“Well funny story… and trust me we are all going to have a good laugh about this in the future…”

“I seriously doubt that!” You interrupt.

“I promised Josh I would let him explain, considering I have done enough damage.”

“Is Josh here?” You ask shooting daggers at Sam.

“He is. Well he is waiting in the car. I thought I would test the waters before he came in.”

“And how is the ‘water’?”

“It is boiling! And I know that is my fault. Again just remember one day this will be a funny memory. Please just listen to Josh. I will be waiting in the car. Whenever you want him to leave I will take him home. Just listen.” He attempts to offer you a hug which you deny, still far too angry. “Fair enough.” He says as he walks to the Jeep to trade places with Josh. You can see Josh’s figure get out of the car. His somber eyes meet yours. You turn back inside unable to continue to look at him. You find your place back on the couch with the blanket wrapped around you. You hold yourself for comfort as you brace for him to enter the apartment.

“Honey?” He says gently as he opens the door. Looking for consent before walking in further.

“In here.” You say holding back tears.

He finds you on the couch and rushes over to you. He hates seeing you hurt. Kneeling in front of the couch he pulls you into his chest as the tears trail down your cheeks.

Tag list:

@gretnavannfleet @dammittjanet @jessicafg03

[jessamine-rose]

˚✧˳⁎ Si vis amari ama ⁎˳✧˚

“If you want to be loved, love.” -Seneca

♡ Jessamine’s Twisted Wonderland masterlist

♡ Italics for nsfw/ suggestive themes!!

✿ LEONA KINGSCHOLAR ✿

♡ Reasons Why I am a Dirty Rag for Leona Kingscholar and Why You Should Consider Being One Too!!

♡ Leona Kingscholar’s Ideal Romantic Partner

✿ SEBEK ZIGVOLT ✿

♡ Sebek Zigvolt’s Fae-Human Identity and Why He Deserves All the Love in the World

♡ Zigvolt Family Theory + Headcanons:: Did Sebek Hatch From an Egg??

♡ Is Sebek’s favorite food a reference to the Grimms’ version of Sleeping Beauty??

♡ Househusband! Twst AU:: Heartslabyul ๑ Diasomnia ๑ Ignihyde ๑ Octavinelle ๑ Scarabia ๑ Savanaclaw ๑ Pomefiore

♡ Beastman headcanons - Leona, Jade, Floyd, Sebek, Rook

♡ Happy Pocky Day!! - Pocky kiss with Sebek

♡ I’m Wishing for the One I Love - NeigeVil

♡ Tunnel of Love - Valentine’s gift from Kalim

♡ Campus Tour - Student! Divus Crewel

♡ Lilia Sings at Malleus x Leona’s Wedding

♡ Jade Leech’s Guide to Fungi Cultivation

♡ Hello, Beastie - how Malleus and Sebek’s families took care of their eggs, pre-birth

♡ Once Upon a Dream - Yandere! Silver’s UM

♡ Courting the one and only Sebek Zigvolt

♡ Platonic! Yandere Ortho - Idia’s #1 wingman

♡ The Great Gwim-sama!! - Yuu’s kid and Grim

✿ LEONA KINGSCHOLAR ✿

♡ Yandere! Leona tutors his kouhai

♡ God! Leona Kingscholar + part 2 (f! reader)

♡ Incubus! Leona Kingscholar

♡ Yandere! Automaton Leona

♡ Leona’s child gives Malleus a nickname

✿ YUU DOESN’T DREAM OF A BUNNY BOY ✿

♡ Yuu Does Not Dream of a Bunny Boy Beastman - Bunny Boy! Leona

♡ Yuu Does Not Dream of a Sea Bunny Boy - Bunny Boy! Octavinelle

♡ Yuu Does Not Dream of a Night Bunny College - Cater, Jamil, Vil, Sebek, Chenya

✿ YANDERE! NEIGE X VIL SAGA ✿

♡ Yandere! Neige x Vil

♡ Rook’s involvement and Vil’s confrontation

♡ Neige’s reaction to Vil’s failed poison

♡ Vil finds out about Neige’s feelings

♡ Story climax/ Happily never after

♡ What if Vil is secretly dating Leona??

♡ Neige sees another side of Vil on Halloween

✿ TRADITIONAL ART ✿

♡ Baby Malleus Wears a Fawn Onesie

♡ Bunny Boy! Epel Felmier

♡ Twst Ship Week 2021:: Sebek x Yuu ๑ RookVil ๑ IdiAzu ๑ Cater x Yuu ๑ LeoYuu ๑ Jamikari ๑ LeoYuu

✿ TWST OCS ✿

♡ Other Blogs’ OCs:: Raven ๑ Mac ๑  Lily  ๑ Ai

♡ Raven x Jade, Mac x Vil, Lily x Epel chibis:: 08/02/20 ๑ 11/12/20

♡ Jade and Floyd Read Their Birthday Letters

[azurlaneincorrectquotes]

I've come to notice something looking through voice lines. Amagi isn't all that loving of a sister. Hell, here's all the lines where she brings her up

"Akagi turned out… a bit differently from what I expected" idle secretary 3

"Akagi, follow the commander's orders, okay?" When sortied with akagi

"If you'd like to take a nap afterward, my lap is always available for you. …this feels like the old days, back when I used to do this for Akagi… hehe" Valentine's 2021

"I made a promise to both you and Akagi that I would be mindful of my health" Serene Lotus skin acquisition

"is there anything I would like to tell Akagi? Of course, I have many things I'd like to impart with her, but perhaps it would be more appropriate that she hears those words from you, commander" Serene Lotus skin details

"Akagi has her own charming points~" Serene Lotus skin idle secretary 1.

"would a light meal be to your liking, commander? Kaga, Akagi and I worked together to make this" Serene Lotus skin idle secretary 3

"I'm not going anywhere, commander. That's what you and Akagi wished for, after all" Serene Lotus skin touch

Of these skins, very few seemed to portray a genuine sisterly love. Even when she has the chance to speak her mind to Akagi, she instead shoulders the burden to you, refusing to speak to her directly.

Compared to someone like Zuikaku, where each line that mentions Shoukaku oozes admiration and praise

"Shoukaku is so cute when she's embarrassed!"

"I'm fearless, so long as my sister is with me!"

Perhaps part of Akagi's obsessive and partly hateful nature is because her sister was always so distant from her, lacking the true emotional bond