#VD's Fics

[creativemessbyvd]

'I'm in love with a Jedi' Support Group - One Shot

Happy May 4th! In honor of this day, have the full one-shot of this post that still makes the rounds here and people seem to find fun! All mistakes are mine, I just finished and it is 1:50 am for me! But I will clean it up and post it to Ao3 later today. Enjoy!

Now on AO3!

Read on if you like Anidala, Codywan, Dinluke, Hanleia, Quinfox, Kesett, Blyala, Kanera, alongside Grogu being cute and getting too many cookies!

Description: Din gets jumped on the way back home and wakes to find he has been welcomed into a 'secret club' made for those who fell for Jedi and now have to deal with Force Osik.

A Star Wars May 4th One-Shot

Din was no idiot. He had clocked the people following him since he had been halfway through his market run. But they were good at hiding themselves. He knew at least four people were keeping a close eye on him. But every time he had tried to look more closely, they had hidden themselves among the crowd. It was a Sunday at 10 am, which meant that the market was especially packed. Part of the reason he had decided to leave Grogu and Luke at home, big crowds left them more tired. It was fun, they definitely enjoyed their time out and about, but by the end of it, both would be tired the rest of the day. Considering they would have visitors later tonight, he and Luke had agreed that it was better that he took care of the shopping so they would all have the energy to host later tonight.

And now he was even more glad he had left them at home. He did not need Luke and Grogu exposed to someone looking for a fight. Din was 70% sure these people were looking for the Darksaber. Most of the time, challengers came alone, but more than once some random Mandalorian would come with their clan to try to intimidate him as he was challenged. It could also have been just someone who wanted Din's armor, but that they were good at evading him made him consider this was no mere group of criminals looking to jump him.

Still, Din kept on and finished his purchases. No need for them to know he knew they were there. He hoped as soon as he got done with the Challenge for the tittle of Mand'alor (which he still did not want, at all), he would be free to grab his stuff and get home in time to give Grogu his cookies before naptime. The kid would not be happy if he didn't give him the cookies before. Otherwise, after naptime it would be too close to lunch time for a snack. Grogu loved those blue cookies. He would rather avoid having his child give him a cold shoulder, Din would prefer going against another Krayt Dragon.

Saying goodbye to a regular vendor that delighted in spoiling Grogu with his favorite cookies, Din made his way seemingly towards home. He tried to shake his tail, he would fight if necessary, but he would rather just go home and deal with this idiots on another day. But, they were good and he couldn't shake them. Din had to admit that getting to let off some steam from his nerves about tonight's dinner would not be a bad thing. He took a couple of more turns, and quickly dived into a hidden alley. As he settled in the shadow of the entrance, expecting to jump whoever came lookign for him, he did not expect the blow to the back of his head.

It was never good to be knocked out, but at least they had placed him in a comfortable chair. He made sure not to move or change his deep breathing. His helmet was still on, and he could feel the Darksaber still on his hip. He could not see yet all that clearly, but the tranquilizer was fast working and already leaving his system. He could still not hear, but his vision was now good enough that he could see he was in front of a window. What was he doing in the only building in their town that was so high up to see over the whole market? As he pondered this, trying to remember what the building was (a Hotel he was sure), his hearing finally returned enough to hear the heavy steps coming towards him from the left. He tensed as he heard a familiar voice, which immediately overrode his instinct to pretend to still be knocked out beacause he knew that voice.

"You can stop pretending, I know you are awake." Commander Fox had now sat down next to him on a couch, in what as he gazed around, he could clearly tell was indeed a Hotel room. Fox was holding a beer on one hand and another he offered to Din, who on auto took it. As Fox opened his, the door opened and more surprised entered.

Leading the group, was Luke's mother, Padme Skywalker, holding some bags clearly also from the market. Han Solo came next, also carrying more bags. Both headed straight for the little kitchen to the left of the front door. After Han, Hera Syndulla and Commander Bly enter next, deep in conversation. They sit at the bar that separetes the kitchen from the sitting area as Padme directs Han to put away the food they had brought. The last to enter are Commander Cody and Boba Fett, both sporting matching scowls directed towards Din.

Din might still be under the influence of the drug, he can only stare open-mouthed while holding a beer on one hand as everyone else (who were suppossed to arrive for dinner in the evening) moves around like Din hadn't been knocked out and brought here.

As he opens his mouth, willing to ask what was going, Cody and Boba approach them and now he can see their piercing gazes are not for Din, but rather, for Fox.

"Fox, drugging him was not the plan!" Despite having only known the man for a few years, and already as an adult, Din still felt like a misbehaving ad whenever Cody used his "Commander Voice" (as Luke called it) around him.

"This is a secret meeting, we have done the same for every single one of the members. Besides, needed to test how well he could avoid us."

"He is a trained Mandalorian and the current Mand'alor! You already know how good he is!"

"What if it had been an imposter posing as him? Couldn't risk it."

"Fox, are you listening to yourself!"

As Cody continued to fight with his brother, Boba grabbed Din and gotten him to his feet, taking the beer off his hand and directing him to the bar. Hera had now moved to help in the kitchen with Han as Padme directed them in chopping various things. Bly had moved as Boba and Din approached to also join in the scolding of Fox, all three now almost screaming at each other.

"Did I hear that right? Din, are you okay honey? C'mon, grab a seat, and have some water." Padme motioned to the stools and Boba directed a still dumbstruck Din to seat. He also gave him a water bottle and padded his arm. Din finally managed to stop pretending to be a fish and removed his helmet. He tried to get his hair in some order before drinking the whole bottle. He turned to Boba finally asked what was going on.

"Welcome to the club, cousin. The plan wasn't to knock you out, that was all Fox. He insists on doing that to 'preserve our secrets' or some osik like that."

"Club?"

"It's more of a support group."

"Support for what?"

"The Force."

"What?"

"Boba, you are confusing him more!" That was Cody, who had left Bly to deal with Fox.

"Then you come and explain it then!"

"Boys, boys, keep it calm please! Here Din, I think you will need this." Hera had opened up some wine and had given him the first glass. As she continued to pass them about, Han and Padme, who were still chopping and now putting stuff to cook at the stove, took pity on the confused face Din was sporting to explain more.

"Back in the Clone Wars, I stumbled upon Cody, Fox and Bly lamenting on the fact that they were in secret relationships with Force Users and it was too much sometimes when none understood anything about the Force. Considering that my own marriage back then had been a secret, I offered to host some get togethers to just unwind and tell each other our woes when it came to the things we encountered with our significant others." Padme finally deemed everything ready let it cook on its own and grabbed the final wine glass Hera passed to her. Cody, Boba, Bly and Fox had come around now to listen to her explanation.

"And as more of us got together with our partners, we were 'kidnapped' and brought into the club, so don't take it personally." Han was hard at work as he added some herbs to the boiling pot at the stove, under Padme's watchful eye. Din was surprised to see how confident Han was in the kitchen and with his mother-in-law. Din had seen him be on edge when in the same room as Anakin Skywalker, so this was a true change of character. But Din understood, Padme had that way of being that made you be calm in her presence. Din knew that Luke share that trait with her, always so quick to make both Grogu and Din be at ease in his presence. Oh no.

"Luke and Grogu!" How could he be so stupid as to forget? As he stood up, Cody got next to him and forced him to settle him down back in the chair.

"Easy there, don't worry. Luke knows that you are safe, and we made sure that those groceries you were carrying got home to them. It's been taken care of." Din could breath easier at that, finally taking a small sip of the wine as he let the adrenaline go. Hera offered to refill it and he accepted, as Fox crossed his arms and shot his brother a scowl from the other end of the bar.

"You better not have given our position or meeting away, Cody!"

"Not very secretive to be in the only Hotel in town, Fox."

"Fox still thinks we should keep these meetings as secret as possible, as if by now, over 20 years after the fact, the whole Galaxy was not aware of our relationships." Bly offered, sitting next to Din and blocking a fuming Fox.

"Those security measures kept us safe, Bly! What do you think would have happened had Palpatine figured it out?"

"Death most certainly but he has been dead for decades Fox! If we want to hang out, we can do so like normal people!" Bly had turned now to address Fox and they continued squabbling.

"Now, its more about keeping it secret from our partners, or rather, Fox's." Hera offered, as she helped Padme with some sandwhiches and passed those around too.

"IF VOS FINDS OUT HE WILL CRASH OUR MEETINGS!" This seemed to be a common phrase from Fox, as Din saw Bly, who had turned his back to Fox to face Din, mimic his sentence in an exaggerated manner for everyone's amusement. Fox still noticed though and tackled Bly to the ground, but no one batted an eye to this or stopped them either.

Din remembered then that everyone here was supposed to be at his and Luke's home later in teh evening and couldn't fathom how they were keeping it all a secret. He was sure that Luke would have asked after his whereabouts, regardless of Cody being the one to explain Din was safe.

"What exactly does Luke think I am doing?"

"Told him I needed your Bounty Hunter expertise for something. Obi Wan knew I had some last minute business and that I would arrive earlier to get your input, he should still be on his way with Anakin and Leia, we still have that congratulary dinner to get to at your place tonight after all."

"And everyone else?" He turned to Han and Hera. Han answered first, finally getting away from the stove. He took the sandwich Padme offered and leaned against the fridge.

"I was already with Padme on some business, so I offered to bring her with me. As far as Leia knows, we are still on our way." He dove into the food as Hera explained next.

"Kanan thinks I'm wrapping up some business too, he was dropping off Jacen and we will meet at your place."

"I'm on my way from Tatooine and Cal should still be on route from Coruscant." Boba had already finsihed his own sandwich as Din was barely on his first bite. His cousin was grabbing onto Bly's plate when Padme wacked him with a spatula. She motioned for him to make his second sandwich himself as she turned to the two still on the floor.

"Fox, Bly! Stop playing and come get your sandwich or I'm giving them to Boba!"

That got them both off the floor quick. Padme smiled and nodded as she saw them take their plates, finally diving into their own. Din was still confused on one thing though, which he couldn't help but voice.

"Why bring me in now? Because we invited you today?"

"Oh no, we were just waiting for you and Luke to finally admit it to each other." Hera explained.

"We … didn't want to push you into something you might not actually want." Bly offered sheepishly.

"Even if it was very painfully obvious. OW!" Han had smacked in the stomach by Padme, who just smiled serenely towards Din as if nothing had happened.

"Even if you hadn't actually gotten with Luke we had a backup plan, you still have a child who is force sensitive, I know what that feels like, and so does Hera." Both mothers looked at each other and then to Din, who felt better about all of this.

"It always better when you know you have people in your corner who understand the realities of having Force users around." Cody's tone was full of wisdom, gaze momentarily lost in the past and in his own insecurities when he first started seeing Obi Wan.

"Yeah, the realities that they will pull the craziest osik and blame it all on the Force." Boba chirped in, and Cody had to agree. Both had more than once compared notes and guessed that like with orange tookas, red-headed Jedi were some of the most unexpected types of Jedi in terms of what they would try to pull and then blame it all on 'the will of the Force'.

"Seriously, Din, we aren't just saying it, if you ever need anything, you can come to any of us." Bly had finished his sandwich and proceeded to the kitchen to wash the dishes, patting Din's shoulder as he went.

"Or if you just need to vent, we got a group chat that is only for documenting the wild Force osik of every day life." Han had started it, and he was very proud of the secret shots of the craziest things he had caught Leia doing.

He didn't know what to say, but he felt he would make a fool of himself if he tried to speak pass the lump in his throat and preferred to keep quiet. He had been apprehensive in hosting the big dinner tonight, he knew everyone here, most were his family, and many others', family to Luke. As Hera and Fox got close to add him to the various chats, he considered that this was definitely a good surprise.

As Padme asked after Grogu, Din was encouraged to share as many crazy stories as he wanted, and he felt good once he got going and found all the others sharing in similar stories. Padme and Hera, as the other parents to Force Sensitive Children, gave him tips on how to Force proof the upper cabinets to stop Grogu from getting cookies whenever he wanted. So far, Din and Luke had hidden them, but Grogu was good at catching Luke in the act of getting the snacks and then going back for more. He also learned that Obi Wan was, like Luke, very likely to set things floating if left too long to his mediation. Cody had to force his husband to communicate when he would do longer meditation sessions on harder days, so that Cody could be prepared to time him and have food and water ready for the drop after. He also caught snippets of Fox talking to Boba on their own Jedi's particular brand of abilities, Boba sharing some recent incident that had left Cal very distraught on some memories on old Jedi texts he found on a mission. Fox had his own stories and offered to share some of the tea that helped calm down Quinlan when he had tough visions.

Upon hearing the word tea, Han had to intervene saying that he felt that the last tea Cody had recommended to calm Leia's excessive energy had done the opposite of calming her down. At that, Padme and Bly interjected on how to best burn that energy when meditation didn't really work on their own Jedi. From what Din understood, not all Jedi could calm down by simply mediating, like Luke, Obi Wan and Kanan preferred traditional meditation. Some, like Cal and Quinlan, would need to tire themselves out first before meditating; while Anakin, Leia and Aayla would be the kind who any sort of calm meditation would leave them more cranky than relaxed. Din could understand that, Grogu was more manageable if he was allowed to play first, otherwise he would not accept quiet, sitting meditation. Jacen, Hera mentioned, was much the same, and from what Padme shared, it was common for young Force users to be the same way. As children, neither Leia or Luke had wanted to stay still in meditation, Anakin and Obi Wan had to tire them out first so they could properly have a calm mind. On the other hand, Cody mentioned, Obi Wan had a very hard time with a young Anakin, who had never taken to meditating as a young boy. Obi Wan had instead opted for moving meditation, which left Anakin more calm and collected than forcing him to sit down in the traditional way. Hera felt that maybe she would bring it up to Kanan for their son, and Cody told her that Obi Wan would love nothing else than to talk on his tips on raising the "Choosen One".

Topics changed quickly and everyone was in more than one conversation with some other little group, and Din sat and took it all in. He noticed Padme by the stove and helped her in checking for salt as she was too short for the big pot. She was going to bring it for tonight's dinner and Din was grateful to have her do most of the talking. He loved that soon, Fox had taken out more beer and everyone was relaxed and happy, and Din felt content. He felt better and he didn't even know he had felt in any distress before. It was not how his day was planned but he already knew his life was anything but normal. He hadn't realized he might need someone to ask whenever something that Luke taught Grogu left him confused but also made him feel stupid for not knowing, scared to ask. But those around him understood him, and that left him strangely comforted. He felt happy, and couldn't wait to get home to Luke and Grogu, to share this precious moments with his new family.

-----

On the other side of the town, on the outskirts, Luke felt a small disturbance as he and Grogu meditated. The Force wasn't warning him of any danger, but rather seemed to be … amused. Then, his door was thrown open, and Quinlan Vos barged in with a bunch of bags, most of beverages if the clanking was anything to go by. Behind him, all of his guests for the evening also entered, the loudest being his father and sister. For a moment, Luke panicked in thinking that he had somehow gotten too lost in mediation again and that the time for the dinner was upon them already. But then he saw the sun shining through the window, still high up in the sky signaling it was still before midday.

His father quickly grabbed him into a tight hug and lifted him from the ground, as Leia picked up Grogu. Quinlan was already making a ruckus in the kitchen and thankfully he saw Aayla follow to babysit her old Master. As Luke was losing breath in his lungs, his Uncle Obi Wan finally rescued him, but Anakin still held onto him, using him as a head rest. Neither him or Leia had grown as tall as Anakin and he delighted in reminding them about it.

Freed of his father's embrace, Luke also spotted Cal and Kanan now sat at the living room, cooing at Grogu who had been given some cookies by Leia and had run to be picked up by Cal. Grogu loved visiting Cal and Boba and their pet rankor, which left Din a bundle of nerves but Luke knew it was good for Grogu to have the chance to interact with all manner of creatures. As he was about to try to get away from Anakin for a moment to close the door, his trusty Artoo wheeled in, bickering with Threepio as the golden robot carried some more bags. Almost tripping Threepio was a small, white and red blur that went straight for Grogu. Luke recognized it as Cal's robot BD-1. Then, an orange and louder robotic voice hailed the entrance of Chopper, who also gave commentary on whatever Artoo was fighting Threepio about, for which the golden protocol droid took great offense as Chopper, Artoo and Anakin laughed. Finally, Ahsoka and Rex came in and close the door, his father's Padawan finally able to pull Luke away from Anakin to give him their own hugs.

"Not that I am not happy to see everyone, but the dinner was later in the evening wasn't it? I didn't mess up the invite?"

"Not at all, my little Sunburst! We just decided to take advantage of the other early get-together to come keep you company!" Anakin grabbed him again from Rex's side, leaving the Commander to roll his eyes and go say hello to Grogu in the living room.

"Get together?" Luke was very confused.

"The "In Love with a Jedi Support Group." Cal offered as he bounced Grogu up and down, BD cooing from his shoulder as the toodler happily babbled away at them.

"The-what?"

"Luke, we are going to need more wine glasses! You only have 4!" Quinlan shouted from the kitchen, sticking his head out.

"Uhm, Din went out to the market, he should be back soon with some more-"

"Ehhhh, actually, he was kidnapped so he'll be kinda late." Anakin said, going to try to take Grogu from Cal. The little one instead floated himself to Kanan, leaving a pouting Anakin, who mimed himself crying and dropping to the floor. Luke would have found it hilarious that Grogu was always a little mean towards Anakin for some reason whenever they met but was still worried that his boyfriend was kidnapped and no one around was at all worried.

"Kidnapped!?"

"I have the items he bought Master Luke! Not to worry!" Now looking closely, Grogu could see the bags were the ones Din had taken to the market with him, inside all the items they had been missing for their dinner. Aayla heard him and called out from the kitchen herself.

"Bring them here to the kitchen, Threepio!" Ahsoka helped him with one of the bags, but as they passed by the fake-crying Anakin who was still sobbing loudly for Grogu, she tossed and hit him in the head with a packet of cookies. Anakin immediately changed his tune and was easily the toddler's favorite from then on out. Rex, Cal, Leia and Kanan took turns in giving Grogu a cookie.

"Quin, it's too early for wine. Leave that for the evening dinner." Obi Wan had gone to help out in the kitchen, his voice carrying easily. Luke still felt rooted to the spot by the breakfast nook that was cleared for morning meditation. He walked towards his father, who was now again grumpy that someone else had Grogu's attention, Leia sticking her tongue out at him over Grogu's head.

"Dad, what do you mean Din was kidnapped?"

"It's never too early for wine, I say you open the bottle Quin." Anakin, forever happy to do and say the opposite of his old Master, gave a thumbs up to Quinlan who wasted no time, despite Obi Wan's clear annoyed look. Ahsoka and Aayla simply shared a laugh, both drinking water but accepting glasses of wine nonetheless.

"Dad!"

"He is safe Luke, he is with the others." Anakin offered, not all bother by his son's rising panic.

"What others?" Luke felt like he was going crazy. Finally, Ahsoka took pity on him and came by to direct him to the open spot on the sofa, giving everyone else a glass of wine except Anakin.

"Ok, ok, let me explain kiddo. During the Clone Wars, Cody, Fox and Bly where stumped in their secret relationships to Jedi so they formed a little club." She said. Anakin swipped her glass and took a big gulp, then yelped when a pillow was thrown at his face and the glass taken out of his hands. Grogu found great joy in that and attempted to do the same, encouraged by Cal and Leia.

"My sweet Angel found out and joined in to impart her wisdom." Anakin was so distracted by the mention of his wife, he never saw the 4 pillows coming straight for his head.

"A blessing, I was tired of them venting when we went out in between campaigns." Rex had no need for the Force, he just straight hit Anakin in teh back of the head with his own pillow, then gestured to Ahsoka who was behind Anakin. She directed two more pillows and both hit Anakin when Rex ducked down.

"But you said he got kidnapped?" Luke was still weary, they had yet to be attacked by people looking for the Darksaber here in their peaceful home, but both him and Din knew the leftover Death Watch members were relentless. He wasn't as panicked, if Din was with Cody, Fox and Bly, he could breath easier at least. His uncles were the most capable men he knew.

"Oh, don't worry, that's Fox trying to keep it all 'secret' because I tried to catch him the first few times way back when." Quinlan had finally come around, Aayla with him. She was carrying Anakin's glass with her, which he thank her. "It was a game between us. He still thinks that I don't know and will crash their party if I found out. Jokes on him, when I got wind of it, I just went for Obes and Aayla and we got our own club starte to gossip."

"Once your mother joined them, I got Anakin and we have been recruiting every time they do." Obi Wan sat down beside him, giving Grogu a sippy cup with blue milk and more cookies, which the baby squealed at and then proceeded to use the older man's lap as his seat to enjoy his snacks. Luke could only hope Grogu would take his lunch without much fuzz later on.

"It was nice, if a little weird when I teased Bly and he tried to keep it a secret." Aayla shared, leading to others to chuckle as well. Bly was a terrible liar, and it was funny to picture him trying.

"Yeah, no one but Fox is keeping it 'secret', Boba told me the minute he was on route when Fox tried to get him. Gave me updates all the way until he was sure it was just his brother being weird." Cal was now holding onto BD, who was trying to draw Grogu's attention. Chopper however, was taking all the attention as he showed Grogu some of the coloring pages he stored.

"Paranoid, you mean. But yeah, Fox gets all new members kidnapped to 'test them', or so Hera has said." Kanan was watching his droid closely, making sure he wouldn't take out the flamethrower to boast about it to Artoo, who also had coloring books and crayons for Grogu, each droid very competative if left un supervised.

"So, why not just let them know you all know about it?" Luke could not understand on keeping it a secret. Quinlan quickly shook his hands, laughing a little.

"No no, that's the fun part! Fox pretends that I don't know and gets to relieve some adrenaline from the old Guard mission days."

"Din is fine Luke, Cody assured me he was given the quick neutralizer when he passed me the bags." Obi Wan was as serene as ever, even if Luke's stomach dropped. But he had to admit that his uncle was right. Din would be in no danger, if by his calculations, Fox, Cody, Bly, Boba, Hera, Han and his own mother were with him.

"But, why now?" He had a feeling on the reason it had just happened, considering Din had been someone known to most of them for years.

"Because you finally got off you ass and confessed, little brother." Leia smirked and Luke had to resist the urge to stick his tongue out when he noticed that Grogu was looking at him. He still glared towards his twin.

"Language!" Obi Wan, Kanan and Anakin all shouted.

"I'm older than you!" Luke couldn't resist firing back, though.

"By a minute!"

"As if this little tyke didn't hear worse from Boba." Cal commented to the room at large, leading most to either nod or roll their eyes. Boba Fett had always been very expressive with his language, regardless of who was present, despite his older siblings attempts to get him to stop swearing so much.

"Cal, do not encourage this." Kanan lamented, knowing it was impossible that his son wouldn't have heard such language from Chopper, who just laughed as if he knew what the Jedi was thinking.

"I'm just saying. He doesn't mind, right little frog terrorizer?" Grogu had hopped down from Obi Wan's lap, dodged Anakin's attempts to pick him up and aksed Cal instead, who gladly took him.

"Patu!"

"How about some lunch?"Ahsoka offered, standing up and stretching her back.

"Yes, Quin only brought alcohol." Aayla mentioned, as Quinlan looked offended.

"It was a priority! I know they are drinking too!"

"I was going to go and get some takeout." Luke said, remembering his plan to surprise Din with food when he arrived.

"No need, we'll get it. C'mon Rexy. From that Alderaanian place Luke?" Ahsoka was often at their place and she knew all the best spots by now for takeout.

"Yeah." Luke said, standing up to get the menu from the kitchen.

"Gotcha, you guys look over the menu and let us know. Should only take us 10 minutes to get there." Ahsoka grabbed Grogu from Cal's lap, ignoring the huff from the red head and his attempts to retrieve the toddler, who was happy to be so high up.

"Grogu you're coming with us! Droids! We are rolling out! C'mon!"

"Right behind you Miss Ahsoka!"

"I could go with you-" Luke started to offer, before he was pull back by Obi Wan and Anakin.

"No no, you stay and unwind, talk about your boyfriend with the others and we'll handle the food. As honorary members of both 'secret' clubs, we are here to get you what you need. We'll also pop in after to check on the others, make sure Fox hasn't taken it too hard with the bets." Rex mentioned, following after his partner in crime behind the line of droids now headed for the door. He was glad Anakin had repaired Threepio so he was much faster now and less clunky when walking.

"Honorary members?"

"Ahsoka and Rex hang out in both groups for the entertainment, or so they say." Cal said, arms still crossed as both his droid and his favorite toddler left him.

"We like being informed and getting all the gossip. And taking care of the little ones and droids too. It's too bad Jacen couldn't make it this time." Ahsoka remarked, bouncing Grogu, who wanted to ride on top of Artoo. She let him, but kept close.

"He has been pestering us about going to visit Mace for months now, we had no idea Din would be drafted so soon. My bet was till the end of the year. I'll make sure to bring him next time." Kanan remarked, and then blanched when he realized his slip. He took a big gulp of his wine as Luke turned to him in suspicion.

"Shh, Kanan!" Aayla said, but it was too late.

"What bet?"

"No bet, nothing at all!" Anakin tried to stall, avoiding his son's stare as he tried to gather the secrets of the Force on his wine.

"That reminds me! Luke, I lost so many credits! That rat of Ohnaka got the biggest cut! You really couldn't wait two more weeks?" Quinlan whined, as he got pillows to the face now.

"Or been quicker by like 3 days?" Cal mentioned.

"I think the way they finally got together is very cute!" Aayle had also betted, but she wasn't going to add more fuel to the fire, unlike Anaking who chirped next.

"You didn't have so many credits riding on this, Aayla!"

"Dad! Not you as well!" Luke couldn't believe his family would bet on him and Din. Then he thought about for ten seconds and found out he could, actually, believe it.

"I think it was cute too." Obi Wan said, the picture of poise, until Leia called him out.

"Uncle, you also got a big cut, don't think I didn't find out!"

"Obi Wan!" Luke should have expected it.

"Obes!" Quinlan was not expecting it seemed.

"You liar! You told me you hadn't betted!" Anakin laughed, as Ahsoka and Rex stood by the door, watching as Artoo got farther away with a toddler on top of him.

"Yeah, ooook! Don't forget to look at that menu! Bye!" With that, they closed the door and left the bickering behind them. They were glad that there was forest all around, it sounded like Luke was now going full Padme on Anakin and the others.

"Who do you think Luke will go for first?" Rex wondered, as they caught up with the droids. Threepio had taken to watching over Grogu to make sure he didn't fall.

"Not Luke, Anakin and Quin will definitely get to Obi Wan before Luke even thinks about it."

"Hmm yeah. So, should we get our own lunch and then ask for their order?"

"Oh you bet, afterwards we should see how the others are doing. Cody wanted to make sure they wouldn't miss the dinner." Ahsoka remarked, smiling down at Grogu, who was having so much fun riding Artoo.

"Padme and Hera are there, how crazy could it get with them? Also, you know Din is responsible enough he won't forget." Rex said, but Ahsoka just scoffed.

"You forget that time they got Han to join, Padme was the one who had the idea of going to the zoo and Hera encouraged it." That had been a meeting they had spend with the Non-Sensitives, and it had been a crazy night. They were glad that Padme how covered up, otherwise the papers would have had a field day. Ahsoka had known that Padme and Anakin fit so well precisely because they shared a unique brand of crazy, that their children had ten-fold.

"I forget Anakin's craziness is contagious. Alright, how about it, Grogu? Want to eat something and then get to see your uncle Boba?" Rex had gotten Grogu up and placed him on his shoulders, to the toddler's delight.

"Patu!"

An hour later, everyone's comms went off when the Holo news started reporting of a bunch of Death Watch who had attemped to kidnapped Grogu and had been taken down by two flamethrowing droids, a Jedi Knight, a Clone Commander, a golden protocol droid who fretted about and a tiny BD droid. Ahsoka and Rex had attemped to get Grogu out of the fight, but BD-1 had electrocuted someone and almost been trampled, so Grogu had jumped in, which prompted Artoo and Chopper to start blasting everyone around. Threepio had panicked and sent the massive message right before the news had gone live and that's how everyone got to meet up earlier than expected back at Din and Luke's.

No one mentioned either 'secret' meeting, but they did enjoy their time together very much. Especially when Grogu got fed more blue cookies than he ever had, given that everyone kept slipping them when no one else was looking. Any he didn't eat once full, BD gave to Chopper to store. Artoo didn't do it because he would be the obvious choice and he kept Threepio occupied as he was 'worried for the sugar intake of the infant'. Kanan still caught them but Grogu had already passed out by then, leaving the adults to their own devices. Din and Luke kept shooting each other looks, each thinking how lucky they were to have such a loving family to have their back.

Thank you for reading till the end! May the Force be with You!

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

they’re buffoons actually. like so stupid. absolute clowns. sillybillies even.

[if-music-be-the-food-of-love]

Heated Rivalry

A Sobbe story by Beulaugh

Cover art by @polarisartworks 💖

Beta’d by the amazing @claire.loves.booksandhockey 📚🏒❤️

Written for the SKAM BIG BANG 2024 🎉

***

Robbe/Sander, side VDS and Elippo | Rivals to Lovers, Classical Musician AU, Fuck Buddies?, Slow Burn | 3/12 | Explicit | ~90k total

Summary:

Rival French Horn players, Robbe and Sander, meet when they are in high school and immediately dislike one another; however, at a summer music camp they learn that they don’t have to like one another to take advantage of the spark that ignites whenever they’re alone. Cue a years-long clandestine, secret…something. Can they call themselves fuck buddies if they’re not actually friends?

How do these two rival musicians weather their non-relationship as their lives interweave and change, as they make choices that take them far from one another? Is it only convenient, or is it something more?

READ HERE

***

Fic posts every Tuesday til September 10

Current chapter count: 3/12

Check out @skambigbang for all the other amazing fics in the event ❤️❤️❤️

[mstrota]

army-issued condoms and bucky used all of it on gale (even used gale’s when he ran out) man is Very Educated on this. totally a two per week kinda guy (monogamously as the army intended) gale who mistakenly took out his condom tin case instead of his toothpicks bc how often he switches between the two. don’t get me started on lube—

for more info because this website is phenomenal since they’re a fellow fanfic reader as well

[witchhazelevesque]

I’m considering the next part of my angelon series and looking over the tags on ao3 where I was like: Nico thinks they’re in an epistolary romance and Leo’s fighting for his soul in a cosmic horror-tragedy and that’s really really true but!

I do actually have an old wip where they in fact ARE in an epistolary love story and here’s a preview:

The next one Reyna finds. The jump messed with their positions around Athena, and she comes through the shadows clinging to the goddess’s outstretched hand. When she climbs down, she’s trying to shake some yellow from her palm.

“How strong are these sticky notes, anyway?” she frowns, finally getting it free, only to have it stick to her fingertips. “He must have used some Hephaestus grade glue.”

Nico takes the note, against common sense, to test the stickiness for himself. Reyna doesn’t seem bothered by the chill of his skin as he helps her peel the paper from her hand.

This note makes a little more sense, and also much less sense than the first one. Nico never studied physics in his limited schooling, but he thinks that’s what the diagrams are about. He doesn’t understand what it’s saying, but that’s not what’s confusing him. 

One of the diagrams, something to do with the weight of the ship, he thinks, because Leo’s drawn a rendition of the Argo and one of the few legible words is “weight”. The weird part is that he drew in the rest of the seven standing on the deck of the ship. 

They’re just stick figures, but he can easily make out who is who. Piper has a little cat with a bow on her shirt, which Nico has seen her wear.  Hedge barely clears the deck railing and has a little speech bubble with random punctuation to show cursing. Hazel has her calvary sword drawn, and he can tell it’s that sword because it’s longer than the one Jason holds. There’s a bow and quiver of arrows peeking out from behind Frank’s shoulder and little badges on his shirt. And-

And Annabeth and Percy are holding hands.

Nico shoves the note into his pocket and moves on with his business.

It’s not until later that he thinks about it again. About why Leo would bother with so many useless details on a throw away note. About how he’d had to have written that note between the time he first started to examine the statue and the time Nico left with it. 

A time when neither Percy or Annabeth were on the ship. 

And then he realizes that Leo himself wasn’t in the drawing. And neither was-

He takes the note out again, and looks more closely. It’s then that he notices the eyes peeking out from the top of the crows nest, under a mess of cowlick hair. There’s a hand on the edge of the nest with a skull on one finger.

And-

And Nico doesn’t know what that means. That Leo had always believed that Percy and Annabeth would survive Tartarus? Or that he expected Nico to still be there when they came back aboard?

That thought makes him feel weird. That someone was expecting his presence, even if just for weight calculation on a boat. 

He doesn’t let Coach eat this one either.

[last-smoke]

“Didn’t think you could entirely escape, now, did you?” Francis arches one brow. “And you being the captain and everything. Neptune must be appeased, James.”

soft rossier au of the au for @explorersaremadeofhope‘s fic careful compliance (ao3 · tumblr post) 🍊

[linagram]

the wildest thing to say as a prisoner who literally has hunger as her theme

[kohakhearts]

[through tears] yeah, this oneshot fic is going great

[sirpercevaleclerc]

Your honor i love them so much my babies 🩷💛

Bonus: Tony commented under Alonso’s instagram post is everything to me 🫶🏼

[creativemessbyvd]

FIC IDEA VAULT #17 - RadioApple Hercules AU

@fanby-fckry is an enabler XD Their post about their idea for a Little Mermaid AU forced my hand to actually write down this idea! Originally I had the inspiration from this Tiktok!

So, this is an inspired by Disney's Hercules AU, we will follow cannon for season 1 loosely and then we take off from there, and yes, the tiktok scene will be there! I have lots of ideas already down, including a general idea of how each chapter will go. So far, aiming for 8 (?) chapters, which will have not only Alastor's POV but also Lucifer's and others as they become relevant. I want to incorporate the ideas I already have for my own Hellaverse (which I will also use for my Alastor centric fic) which include the Sins being ride or dies for Lucifer, Roo as the main villain, lots of bonding amongst the cast and some cameos by the Helluva Boss crew! I don't plan to make this be straight romance, I want them to be friends first before Alastor starts caring more for Luci, and I'm also trying to keep him as faithful as I can be to his Ace Identity (which is a spectrum! Please, no harrasment over this, but if anyone would like to help me out to make sure I don't screw Al or offend anyone, please let me know! I would really appreciate the help!)

I am swarmed by work, and this has been the worst week for me in a while, I can feel the depressing thoughts around, but talking about my aus, or any of my fandoms always helps! I hope to work on this and publish soon, but I do want to have some chapter written before posting to Ao3. So, without further ado, I leave you with the main summary and two snippets from chapter one! I'm sorry for the errors, I will fix them up for publishin the full story on Ao3! Enjoy!

At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love (Hercules Radioapple AU) by Vesta Dragon

Tasked with getting closer to the King of Hell after the last extermination, Alastor the Radio Demon tries his best to show the king the attention which is plain to see the fallen angel craves. But as they spend time getting to know each other in the most antagonistic and less romantic way possible for Alastor's peace of mind, he finds his mission shifting when shown what a capable ruler Lucifer can be, alongside his softer side that still shows the angel he never stopped being. Lucifer knows that getting along with Alastor will keep Charlie happy, and keep one less headache away from him as he takes the reigns of his kingdom back with the help of his closest friend, Satan, who is now on a mission to make sure both him and Charlie are in top shape for any upcoming battle Heaven will surely start. His heart will be his doom, as he feels himself growing closer to Alastor, but will their love be enough to stop the threat lurking far below Hell? Or will her millennia-old plans finally come to fruition, so the Root of All Evil can finally rule it all as the planets align?

Chapter One Teaser under the cut!

God was created to bring balance to the Universe, and he in turn created Angels, his first and most beloved was Lucifer Morningstar… The story of the Garden of Eden is one I'm sure you are all familiar with, but what you probably didn't know was that it skipped over a lot of details. Lucifer always thought that keeping Humans always happy and in the dark, meant they would never get to their full potential. He befriended Lilith, the first Woman, and they fell into a quick and deep love.

Charlie Morningstar was interrrupted by the loud entrance of Angel Dust, the spider demon carrying around a cooler from which he passed around beverages to the visitors sitting in front of the princess in the Hotel's second entertainment room.

"Boooooriiiiing! Charlie, I swear if you tell us the detailed history of all of creation, I'm taking everyone on a tour of my favorite clubs!"

Finished with his task, he took the main couch, sitting for once, not splayed out but definitely confidently enough that it drew some curious eyes, though they quickly turned away as he swept his gaze around. He took from the cooler two extra waters and passed one to Charlie, who accepted despite looking scandalized at his suggestion.

"Angel, you wouldn't dare!" "Oh, but I would! Who wants to go dancing?" At the raised (albeit nervous) hands that went up, he smirked at the princess who huffed and rolled her eyes.

"Well, what's wrong with giving them all the details?" Charlie shuddered to think were her charges would end up, so she admited that maybe her story would need to be told differently than to how she prefered to remember it. "For one, it would take us way too fucking long to go over everything. Let's go for the more fun version! You gotta know when to give the right details." He made sure to wink at a couple of people, the majority laughing as he riled the princess up.

"We are not sharing anything explicit!" That would be worse than the clubs, as she was about to continue her point, she was interrupted again.

"Is Charlie going to tell the Story? I wanna help!" Nifty had jumped from behind the couch Angel sat at, no one having heard her skittering around until she had made herself known. She proceeded to jump over the couch, landing on Angel and kicking him slightly before settling in beside him.

"Ouch, Nifty! Careful with my arms!"

"Hehe, sorry Angel!"

"Oh, this will be fun." Vaggie had come due to all the shouting, wanting to make sure everyone was being civil. She had known Charlie had plans to share the story, and she was glad she wasn't the only one who knew the princess had to be watched so avoid her rambling to their guests for 5 hours. She loved her, but she knew Charlie tended to go overboard, especially with this.

"Hi sweetie! Come sit here with me, we can share the loveseat." Charlie relaxed upon seeing Vaggie, and made sure to give her a kiss as soon as the fallen angel sat down beside her.

"Can you two stop with the lovey-dovey public displays, let me get my coffee in first." Yet another interrupting, this time from the resident bartender, who was carrying two takeout cups of coffee, one of which he gave to Angel, despite Nifty's attempts to snag it.

"Husk, I'm surprised that you aren't drinking a beer." Vaggie smirked, knowing that usually, the stoic bartender tended to leave the tours to the others and kept to the quiet of the bar. But it was obvious why he had come, as Angel patted his legs.

"Oooh Husky, my lap is open if you want a seat."

"I'll take the floor, otherwise we won't get to the end of the story."

"C'mon you two! Seriously?!" Vaggie was infurated now, she had hoped they had at least some decurum to save it for after the tour was done.

"I meant he would loose circulation on his legs, I ain't as light as Nifty over there." Husk laughed softly, winking at Angel as he took a seat between his legs on the floor.

"Can I sit on your lap, Angel?"

"Sure, Nift."

"Oooooookaaaay, is everyone settled? Can I continue?" Charlie was more aware now of the time constraints, but she was glad to have the company. It was always more enjoyable to have the story be told with input from everyone.

"Yes, but keep it light on the start, we want to get to the good part this century!"

After their fall from Heaven and Earth, Lilith and Lucifer began working on making their prison more comfortable. As others, like the Sins and the Ars Goetia, slowly filled Hell, as they newly appointed King and Queen, they held a party. And someone new arrived to them. She was lovely, yet she was no former angel. Her power left everyone speechless. Her name was Roo. She welcomed everyone, but especially the new King. She had seen it all, and she had to thank him for letting her be born. She was evil personified and she had a proposition. She could help them get revenge upon eveyone who had forsaken them. And while some saw this as a great opportunity, Lucifer refused.

"Fighting Heaven will bring us nothing! I prefer to make the best of this here, were I have my freedom, despite being in my own prison. Let them deal with it all, I thank you for the consideration, but it would be foolish for us to go to war when we know we will lose." Roo smiled, she tried again to entice him, but he wouldn't move. His powers, which he knew she craved, he would not give her. Roo bid them farewell, making sure they knew she could be found at the deepest part, where the river of souls ran, if they ever changed their minds.

She returned to her domain, deep into Hell, to the parts that no one had ever ventured to. She stood now in her home, a castle of darkness that towered over everything. She climbed until she came to her work room, on its center a stone basin filled with a clear swirling liquid. From it she could see the present, past and future. She had used this to her advantage to make sure her influence had sparked the first sin of man. The free will of the humans meant that she now was present up on Earth, but it also crippled her once vast power. Her future vision would never be as it once was, nor could she force the fallen who now ruled Hell to make her biding. She needed more if she was to wreck havoc as she was promised, gazing into the hazy future in which she ruled it all. She could be patient, someday she would have her revenge.

| Line break |

Alastor the Radio Demon could tell that he was utterly fucked, and he could count on one hand his whole life's (and afterlife's) regrets. Babysitting an overexcited and touchy princess and her entourage was something he deeply regretted, as he watched Vaggie run around trying to film the Hotel an annoying television commercial. He honestly thought his own was pretty favorable, but the Princess thought otherwise. As she went to her meeting, her girlfriend now scrambled to put something together with no experience. He could let her keep on trying, ultimately failing but he needed to keep the Princess as happy as possible, and this was something he would have to endure.

After all of that work only for the commercial to be cut off to the news that Heaven was going to come back earlier? He knew his boss was laughing at him. The next few months brought little change. After this, he saw Charlie welcome in another patron, Sir Pentious had tried to be a thorn at Alastor's side, but like the television demon he took orders from, neither could actually cause any harm; like a toy knife, both were only mildly threatening in appearance. His meeting with the Overlords helped him be closer to his end goal. The months flew by, and still, nothing was going the Princess' way, and she was forced to call her father.

And Lucifer Morningstar ended up coming. To HIS HOTEL. The former Angel went so far as to compare him to a bellhop and Alastor was so close to unleashing everything on the pompous asshole. Thankfully, he managed to take his anger out on the loan sharks Mimzy brought, but he still had to dismiss her, more forcefully than he would have if he hadn't already been so on edge. He was fuming by the end of the day, not only had he been humiliated by Lucifer, Husk knew of him being on a leash, and Heaven would soon come. He unleashed his anger once in his room, thankful for the small mercy that his room opened into his own private bayou and no one would be aware of his (frankly childish) tantrum, and suddenly he felt it in the sudden stillness of the air, and deep among the trees, the one who owned his sould appeared.

Roo was not that taller than Charlie, yet the front was just to spite him. he knew, seeing he still towered over her but she held all the power to bring him to his knees, like she did now.

"Alastor, sweetheart! Interesting day?" She sat on a tree stump that formed into a throne. Alastor hated every minute of it but he obediently knelt by her feet, levelling her with his worst glare.

"Roo, you said he wouldn't leave his isolated hole." She laughed and smiled almost as wide as him.

"I said he wouldn't come out without proper reason, Charlotte finally reaching out to him I guess gave him the strength to try for the first time in years." She was looking at her nails, utterly unbothered by this. Her ability to see aspects of the future irked him when she kept information like this from him.

"The fucking Devil will unravel everything I have worked for here." He seethed but Roo just laughed, a shrill sound that hurt his sensitive ears.

"Oh, Al, don't be so pessimistic, darling. I need you to trust me." She reached out to take his face in her hand, squishing as he growled, static becoming more prominent around him. "This is needed, taking out that pompous asshole up in Heaven will leave my darling Lilith in the perfect spot to worm her way in, you have to trust me."

"Charlie will draw a target on her back if she goes to Heaven, and it will lead the Hotel to be in danger." All his hard work, gone if Adam himself lead the charge to the Hotel.

"Well, that's why you are here, correct? Al, trust me, everything is going according to plan. Make sure to use our little golden ticket to make a deal with the Princess, I will need her to complete my plan." He avoided yelping in pain as she dug her fingers into his face, her other hand making sure to spread his smile wider, to the point it hurt more than usual. Her tone grew dark, and suddenly Alastor could feel the chain around his neck tighten as her voice echoed everywhere in the bayou. "And don't lose your temper with Lucifer again, I don't have the time to get another puppet if he decides to smite you."

With that, she threw him to the floor and as soon as his head had stopped spinning, he looked up to find her gone.

[good-beans]

*thinking about Double a normal amount*

[mittensmorgul]

all day i was rushing under the impression there was a new episode of the winchesters on tonight, and i’ve just discovered there isn’t... so i guess i have to figure out something else to do with the next few hours now lololol

[infiniteiram]

sad because it’s been awhile since i’ve written my fic (which i’m so excited for) but i never feel like i have enough time to actually write

[ashes-in-a-jar]

The rest of the fans: I can make him worse <3

People with library, archiving and information science degrees who are fans of The Magnus Archives: I could fix him (the archives)

[witchhazelevesque]

A snippet of a time travel fix it fic I’m working on:

As Leo cautiously moves to the upper deck, he recalls that Nico had mentioned that he'd been having more nightmares than usual about Jason. 

But his nightmares about Jason didn't normally take place on the Argo anymore. Aside from the stab wound Michael Varus had inflicted and the fucking turtle incident, his memories aboard the ship with his friend were mostly pleasant. 

It was the dreams his mind conjured up at Camp Jupiter and in California that were the trouble. 

He sees sunlight spilling in on the staircase leading to the deck, and the sound of voices, and Leo takes the steps one by one, the voices getting clearer. 

It feels like his heart is expanding too large for his ribcage as he steps into the light, blinking until his vision adjusts and-

There's Jason. 

Jason.

Leo feels his face break into a wild grin, his eyes fill with tears and he launches himself at his lost friend. 

Jason is surprised, catching him but stumbling back a step before regaining his balance. 

"Hey," Jason says, laughter in his voice. "What's with you?"

Leo tightens his arms around Jason's shoulders and murmurs something about a bad dream. 

He hears footsteps approach them and turns his head to find a fifteen-year-old Piper looking at them with a confused smile on her face. 

"Piper!" Leo exclaims, reaching an arm out to pull her into the embrace. She comes willingly, but repeats some version of Jason's earlier question. But he hasn't seen her in person in months, and will take any chance to hug her, even if this is just a dream.  He revels in having his best friends close, feeling them warm and breathing. 

He doesn't know why he was granted such a sweet reprieve from his usual dreams, but he sends a silent thank you to whoever might be listening.

Jason lets out another laugh, and damn, Leo's missed the sound so much, and begins to extract himself from their arms, but Leo doesn't loosen his grip. "Come on, I have to go check the lines."

"Nope," Leo says, pressing his cheek against Jason's shoulder. "It can wait."

He feels Jason's hand run over his arm and hears him say softly, "That must have been one hell of a dream."

"You have no idea," Leo murmurs.

"Is it something we should worry about?" Piper asks. 

Leo shakes his head, because this isn't the time or place to worry about anything. They may just be images his brain created, but he can't bring himself to unload his grief and pain on them when they could have this moment in the sun with each other. 

Besides, he's already been to Jason's memorial and told him so many times how much he misses him. Leo blinks to clear the tears threatening to spill over. 

"Okay," Jason says, not sounding convinced. "But I really should get back to work."

"It doesn't matter," Leo tells him. 

"Leo Valdez, saying that the state of his ship doesn't matter?" Piper asks in mock incredulity. "The world might end, but I wasn't expecting this horseman of the apocalypse."

"Shut up," Leo says, with absolutely no heat in his voice as he bumps her shoulder then pulls her closer. 

Jason pulls away eventually, letting Piper take over the hugging before she too has to get back to work and Leo relents, and watches the two of them, working together, in such vivid detail. His dreams, unless prophetic or traumatic, are never this clear, but he can think about that later. From what Piper has told him, she and Jason's friendship was strained at best when he died. Leo never thought he'd get to see them joking and laughing and easy with each other again. Maybe his mind is giving him what he wants to see most. 

Which doesn't make sense. Maybe he's in some kind of dream prison, designed to make him want to stay, like the one Gaea offered Hazel once. 

He gets more support for this theory when a dark shape comes through the corner of his vision, and it doesn't really matter if this is a trap, because Jesus Christ, there's the younger version of Nico, before his growth spurt when they were still the same height, with his sweetly curling hair and oversized jacket. As if sensing eyes on him, Nico's face turns to Leo, whose own breaks out into a probably stupid looking grin, because this little Nico looks so cute, which he really shouldn't because he's underweight and sleep deprived, but love is blind, isn't it?

Leo bounds down from the helm and over to him, and it's only the frozen expression of confusion and near fear on Nico's face that makes Leo skid to a stop in front of him instead of crashing into him with a hug like he wanted to. 

"Sorry!" Leo exclaims breathlessly. "I forgot you didn't like to be touched."

If possible, Nico's eyes get wider, and they begin to dart around as if he's looking for an escape route. Leo feels a pang of guilt, because dream or not, the last thing Leo wants is to make him uncomfortable. He takes a big step back and raises his hands to show he means no harm. "Sorry, I just got carried away."

Nico stares at him uncomprehendingly. 

Leo takes another step back in the hopes that will help. "Sorry, I just- had a really weird dream?" Leo says, thinking that might work via dream logic, because he is in a dream, and compared to this time in space, reality would seem like a really fucking weird dream. "I think I'm still recalibrating."

Nico's still frozen.

"Shit," Leo sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. "I really am sorry, I will- uh, I'll just sit here, several yards away, and look in a different direction, if that helps."

Leo does as he says, plopping onto the staircase leading to the helm and glancing out at the water. 

After a moment of very pain-stakingly not darting his gaze back to see if Nico's face has regained what little color it normally has, he hears the other boy say, "Okay." very quietly and then the shadow in the corner of his eye gets darker for a moment, a sign that Nico's slipped into it. 

"Not your best call, Valdez," Leo tells himself, rubbing the back of his neck. 

[fohatic]

(manip by me, original poster by art chantry)

welp there's a (short!) fic now 😏

for the "kink: condoms are fun!" square of my @cap-ironman stony bingo round 2 card, 1.5k, rated E:

Like so many 21st-century notions that most modern folks took for granted, getting Steve Rogers onboard with the idea of condoms for gay sex was yet another concept that required some getting used to. As ever, Tony was more than willing to help him adjust to it -- was particularly eager, in fact, to demonstrate it for him. 

So he took Steve’s hesitant objections in stride. Though he conceded that STDs weren't actually an issue between them, Tony still felt obligated to get Steve up-to-date on one of the primary functions of using protection. He didn’t blame the poor guy for assuming that “VD” was only something that men contracted from women, given how the sex-ed propaganda of Steve’s time pointedly ignored the existence of homosexuals at every turn (yes, Tony had become quite the WWII-era culture buff ever since he and Steve got together). “Rubbers,” ergo, were only used to prevent pregnancy and war effort-undermining cooties from ‘loose women,’ as far as Steve was concerned.

He hadn’t yet learned about the AIDS epidemic. He hadn’t learned anything at all, really, about homosexuality, aside from what little he’d gleaned from his limited exposure to different cultures and social norms during his stint as a soldier. Just getting him to come out of his internalized-homophobic shell even a little bit after Tony had finally figured out that the tension between them stemmed from a sex thing rather than the other kind of dick-versus-asshole thing was a huge challenge all on its own; one which Tony had only persevered through because he was already way too far-gone on the guy by then to consider giving up. 

But now— after way too much dithering and denial and a gradually-dawning acceptance of the earth-shattering truth of the matter— they were finally fucking each other. Enthusiastically, and often. Tony’s patience had won out big time, and his rewards just kept on coming. And coming. And coming.

Turns out, Steve has a refractory period that’s basically non-existent. One of the many benefits of being serum-enhanced. Truly, Tony has no complaints on that score, considering his own notoriously rabid sex drive. Match made in heaven, in all honesty. It would seem that Steve is intent on making up for lost time, and Tony is only too happy to oblige him at every opportunity—

—which is where the condom thing comes in. Tony doesn’t mind that they’re fucking like rabbits now. It’s great! Amazing! Best thing that’s ever happened to him, really! But honestly— it can get kinda messy, given how Steve seems determined to fuck on every conceivable surface he can think of -- and often during moments that might not be entirely convenient, such as in the immediate aftermath of a mission; be that during touchdown at SHIELD headquarters when he and Tony are still suited up, or even on the freshly-vacated Quinjet on a number of occasions... -- occasions which their teammates definitely weren’t as oblivious to as Steve had been quick to assume in his lust-clouded fever (Tony had seen Nat’s knowing look after Steve had asserted his captain’s voice to tell him, “Stark: hang back a moment. There’s something I need to discuss with you in private.”) He was so disastrously conspicuous sometimes, but Tony wasn't bothered by it. He just found it ridiculously charming. 

So Tony’s started carrying condoms around with him at all times now, knowing that Steve’s delightfully unhinged libido could strike at any moment. It's his privilege to always be ready for him. 

The first time Tony fished one of these out of his pocket and pressed it against Steve’s big, warm chest during a heated make-out session in the locker room, Steve frowned down at the little packet with the most adorably confused expression Tony had ever seen on a full-grown human. 

“...A rubber?”

“Uh huh,” Tony had breathed out, eagerly rolling his hips against the massive thigh still shoved between his legs. 

“What for?”

It was actually really funny, just how nonplussed his face looked in that moment. Tony bit back his reaction to laugh, though, knowing how sensitive Steve could be when he thought Tony was laughing at him. 

“For sex,” Tony grinned, deliberately pressing his hard-on against the larger man and feeling a little giddy with how much he wanted exactly that, pronto. “What else?”

“We’re both fellas, though,” Steve needlessly pointed out, getting that deep furrow between his brows as a particularly splotchy flush spread over his face -- Tony knew by now that these together were more of an indication of embarrassment than arousal. Uh oh. 

It was sometimes a bit of a tightrope walk, maintaining a modern homosexual relationship with a man as complicated as Steve Rogers. Tony was still learning how to navigate his changeable moods and specific triggers, but it was a task he was surprised to find himself more than willing to put up with. It was actually kind of thrilling, the way he was always keeping Tony on his toes.

So that first, clumsy attempt in the locker room hadn’t convinced Steve that condoms were a convenient means of mitigating the messier aspects of assfucking, which in retrospect was Tony’s bad: Steve wasn’t wrong when he'd pointed out that the showers were right there.

Then later that week, when Tony tried again by attempting to argue that condoms were actually “fun,” Steve had gotten a bit petulant when he'd mistakenly jumped to the very erroneous conclusion that Tony didn’t actually like getting pumped full of an unholy amount of hot supersoldier jizz on the regular. On the contrary, it was something he often enjoyed with a zeal that bordered on some kind of perversion… Only, there was a time and place for indulging in what basically amounted to a serious cum-inflation kink, which—in his modest opinion—was best enjoyed in the comfort of an actual bedroom. 

Later, ensconced in the privacy of said bedroom, he explained this to Steve. In so much detail. He made sure to be very clear about what he liked and when/where he liked it, ensuring that there would be no doubt as to how sincerely he meant it by encouraging Steve to properly fill him up right there on his oversized bed. Then—just because Steve seemed to really appreciate these sorts of practical demonstrations—Tony made it very clear what occurred afterwards, illustrating this by strutting naked around the bedroom and letting Steve’s jizz drip down between his legs while he continued to elaborate on the pros and cons of letting Steve put him in such a state while out in public. He definitely had Steve’s rapt attention, this time.

Still, he didn’t fully sell his argument until the following weekend, when they’d been out together at that gala all night in their well-tailored formalwear, making eyes at each other in between all the endless schmoozing and sipping from champagne flutes and munching on canapes. 

Steve found a little secluded balcony that wasn’t in use, because of course he did. Say what you will about him being a late bloomer; there was no denying that the guy had quite the aptitude for arranging semi-covert assignations at a moment’s notice. 

He wasn’t wearing his utility belt, though, which meant that he didn’t have his handy dandy lube tube that he’d taken to carrying around these days. So when Tony caught him trying to spit on his fingers after getting a hand down Tony's pants and squeezing Tony’s ass in a signal he’d come to recognize as Steve’s signature “I wanna fuck you right now” move, he intercepted him just in time to demonstrate the magic of 21st-century lubricated condoms.

Getting to bend Tony over the railing like that and have at him at the drop of his $3000 pants with no prep required—then coming profusely into Tony’s grateful ass without spilling a single drop of superspunk on either of their very nice garments—was something of an eye-opening experience for Steve Rogers. 

He could admit, afterwards— as they righted their clothing and kissed like they’d been waiting all night to get their mouths on each other in order to finally breathe properly— that Tony might’ve actually had a point about the “rubbers.” 

“They’re fun, aren’t they?” Tony smirked as he smoothed his hands down the fine weave of Steve’s black dinner jacket, continually enamored with the way that all that broadness narrowed down to such a grabbable little waist. “...Anytime, anywhere.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed, looking at Tony with a fondness that couldn’t possibly have just been about the whole condom thing. Sometimes when Steve looked at him like that, it felt like his insides were melting; like Steve could reduce him to literal goo with just a look. Quite the superpower, that one. 

Steve’s eyes did that funny thing where they grew impossibly warmer as he reached to fix Tony’s hair with gentle fingers, telling him, “I think I’m coming around to the idea.”

♡