#and i will go back to writing and curating a soundtrack :)
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sad because it’s been awhile since i’ve written my fic (which i’m so excited for) but i never feel like i have enough time to actually write
#van der stoffels#vds#yes i’m still on this#yes i’m still obsessed#i think this is what happens when u move back home with ur parents for the summer#and have to work around their schedules#otherwise the fic wouod be done by now#and i’ve been oddly sad the last few days#i think i’m just having some mentally low days#it’s okay#it too shall pass#and i will go back to writing and curating a soundtrack :)#jens stoffels#lucas van der heijden#wtfock#skam nl#vds fic#ao3 fic
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a promise is a promise
summary: sliding into a stranger's dm's, nostalgia for your first date, and a promise sealed with a kiss + a little insta au at the end 💙
words: 1,071
a/n: my first time writing for mr. leclerc! thank you for the req, @headinthecloudssblog 🫶🏼 tagging @vamossainz55, @sainzcaleruega, @monzabee, @formulaforza, @thatsdemko, and @diorleclerc because i trust you all deeply. feedback is much appreciated as always. hugs and kisses!
Charles loved Adele and he sure wasn't shy about it. While the other racing drivers were hyping themselves up with rock, EDM, or rap, the Monegasque’s AirPods (which he often lost) were blaring “Someone Like You.” You, yourself, wondered how the powerful yet melancholy ballad could put him in the right headspace to drive at breathtaking speeds of up to 362 km/h.
You were nothing short of euphoric when it was announced that she would be extending her exclusive residency in Las Vegas. It would be a dream come true if you could see her live during the weekend of the Las Vegas Grand Prix. However, a bitter reality crept in when you discovered the final show was scheduled for November 4, a mere two weeks before the two of you would arrive stateside. Charles would be racing at Interlagos, while you would be stuck at a clinical genetics conference in St Andrews.
“I was going to get us tickets to thank you for your service in the Great War!” You huffed as you watched Charles tie the laces of his Puma running shoes, visibly let down by the news. All of your friends thought the racing driver had used his F1 connections to get you those coveted floor seats, but they couldn’t have been more wrong. Your boyfriend had spent 18 hours in a virtual queue on one of his few days off, using multiple of his sim racing monitors to secure tickets to the Eras Tour. Arthur had mocked his older brother about how “whipped” he was, joking that he was relieved someone else’s screen time was as horrific as his own.
With a light kiss on your neck, Charles wrapped his arms around you from behind, his voice filled with affection. "It’s like this, ma chérie. I'm going for a run with Andrea," he whispered. As he headed towards the door, his shoulders slumped and his AirPods in, it became clear today's run would be more of a recovery run, a moment for him to recharge physically but more so emotionally.
Determined to bring Charles closer to his idol, you swiftly grabbed your phone from the kitchen island and opened Adele's Instagram profile. Sliding into someone's DMs had never been your style, let alone that of a Grammy-winning artist, but you figured there was nothing to lose.
"Hi, this is Y/N. I know it's unlikely that you'll ever see this, but I'm taking a leap of faith for my boyfriend Charles, who is undoubtedly your biggest fan. Our first date perfectly encapsulates his essence," you began typing, a wave of nostalgia washing over you. "He took me on the most gorgeous twilight yacht ride, accompanied by a meticulously curated playlist of his favorite songs. Upbeat songs like 'A Sky Full of Stars,' 'Pepas,' and 'Feel So Close' filled the air. But then, out of nowhere, a hauntingly beautiful piano melody began to play."
Pausing for a moment, a reminiscent smile graced your face as the memory came roaring back to life. "'Is this Adele?'" you had asked, a glass of rosé in your hand. Charles looked so at peace compared to the tense expression he sometimes wore during race weekends. He had offered you his blue Ferrari sweatshirt to ward off the evening chill and confirmed that it was indeed Adele. Charles shared that he, unlike most, found comfort in what he deemed “depressive music.”
Since that fateful evening, the British songstress' music had become an integral part of your relationship. It served as the soundtrack to your road trips, where you took turns belting ‘Rolling in the Deep.’ It sparked heated debates about whether Adele’s ‘Daydreamer’ or Sade’s ‘By Your Side’ should be your first dance song. It even led to late nights, downing espresso shots just so you could listen to her latest album the second it dropped.
You reached for your phone once again. "That night ended with Charles’ hand resting on my thigh as he drove me home to 'Make You Feel My Love.’ Your music has been the soundtrack to so many of our most intimate moments, and it would mean the world if you could find some time to perform for him," you typed, pouring your heart into the message. You added, "I know this is a long shot, but I..." before eagerly hitting the "Send" button. With a growing sense of accomplishment, you decided to run to the grocery store to pick up some fresh salmon for dinner.
Unable to keep a secret to save your life, you shared what you’d been up to with Charles. "You DM'd the queen? Je t'aime, ma belle, but I highly doubt she'll reply," he playfully teased, rolling his eyes as he wiped the dish you had just handed him.
"What if she does?" you retorted, a hint of hope in your voice. "You know how I treasure you so much I don’t even trust myself to take you on a hot lap? We’ll do it in Las Vegas if and only if Adele responds." His devilish Leclerc wink accompanied the mischievous remark, leaving you to wonder how this crazy turn of events would unfold.
Weeks passed, and with each passing day, the likelihood of a reply dwindled. Charles was away in Qatar when the doorbell unexpectedly rang. A courier stood before you, holding a grand bouquet of white roses along with a message card. Assuming it was from him, your hands trembled as you read the sign-off on the ivory white card. There it was, unmistakably etched in the most elegant script. Five letters. Adele.
You snatched the card eagerly and read it over countless times, overcome with disbelief. It turned out that Adele's devoted fan base had made her very much aware of Charles' fanboying. She expressed her delight and confirmed that she would be more than happy to sing a few songs for you over dinner so long as she could score some “cool mom points” and bring her son Angelo to the race.
Your hands trembled with sheer excitement as you shared the spectacular news with Charles. He blamed his nonexistent allergies as tears welled up in his eyes, but you saw right through his lies.
"So, you'll be taking me on that hot lap, Leclerc?" you grinned, blissed out seeing him so happy. "Bah oui, une promesse est une promesse," he replied, sealing his vow with a well-earned kiss.
﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏
liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, and 61,616 others
yourusername: weekends with adele (and charles) 🎰🍸❤️
fan1: “it’s true that, after a bad day, if you listen to that, you cry. you don’t feel any better. but i like it. i like the mood of depressive music.” - chuck leclerc
charles_leclerc: i have the best girlfriend in the world! tu est simplement la meilleure ❤️
adele: she’s one of a kind! thank you for letting me bear witness to your love x
yourusername: you, sir, are the love of my life. thanks for tolerating my impulsivity!
fan2: i need a charles and adele collab and i need it NOW 😤
joris_trouche: he’ll never shut up about this
charles_leclerc: prepare to be sick of me! wait, you and @andferrari007 already are 🫣
scuderiaferrari: c² music challenge but adele songs only?
carlossainz55: why play when i don’t even stand a chance 🤨
#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x y/n#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc edit#charles leclerc#f1 x you#charles leclerc fluff#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fic#f1 instagram au#charles leclerc one shot#charles leclerc instagram edit#charles leclerc blurb#charles leclerc au#charles leclerc drabble
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BEAUTIFUL STRANGER
pairing: hwang hyunjin x gender neutral reader
description: a beautiful stranger shakes up your once boring and repetitive morning commute on the train.
word count: 3.4k
also available to read on my ao3 here
author’s note: hello! i’m no stranger to writing, but i’m definitely a stranger when it comes to writing for idols. this is the first time i’ve ever done so, and who better to write for than my ultimate bias hyunjin? stray kids is my favorite group, so i’d like to write more content for them in the future. thank you to my pookie wookie lills (YES, we unironically call each other pookie, it’s our thing) for beta reading, and i hope you enjoy <3
soundtrack: beautiful stranger, enchanted
tags: @solefleurs @heavenfilm @5sos-wdw @todorokiskitten @rylea08 @br3anna-nels0n @hyunjinloverrrr
taglist form here
you always found an array of characters during your morning commute on the paris metro. there’d always be locals, some on their way to work or home just like you. amongst the locals were tourists decked out in overpriced souvenirs specifically curated for suckers like them. at night, there were drunks who thankfully were smart enough not to drive. the reek of alcohol on them wasn’t that amusing, you must admit.
despite the variety of people you could see passing by on your commutes, it grew boring. always the same thing every single day. not even the music playing in your headphones or the book you brought with you that day could make time go faster. it’s not like it would be any better once you got off the train either. your life was incredibly dull and repetitive. if only something could serve as a change of pace.
to think that your life had become boring in a place like paris of all places. it’s the city of love, is it not? even if you were created out of love and born in a city all about that concept, you had none of it. maybe that’s why you felt this way. no matter how many times you pass the same streets or enter the same train station, you had yet to find the one thing everyone seemed to look for so easily here.
you had basically given up at this point, committed to living an empty life where all you did was work, eat, sleep, then repeat. it’s what most people do in other countries anyway, might as well join the party. the second you had fully lost all hope, however, was when you saw the most beautiful stranger on the train. you almost wanted to slap yourself for being so pessimistic before.
you walked onto the train with the expectation of just sitting around until you got to your stop. as you walked to your usual seat, that’s where you found your beautiful stranger, sitting in the seat right across from the one you sat in every single day without fail.
you knew you had never seen him before. you take this train almost every damn day, so who was he? had he just moved here? was he a tourist? where’s the “i love paris” shirt and the eiffel tower keychain made of shitty plastic? instead, he was dressed like someone meant to be on billboards and magazines. surely had the face to fit the bill too. he was undoubtedly breathtaking, and he ultimately captivated you upon first sight.
it was pathetic how you hesitated to sit down. he didn’t seem to waver, looking down at his phone. from the reflection of his sunglasses—yes, you were that curious—he seemed to be swiping through photos. you assumed they were ones he had taken around the city. paris was definitely filled with photo opportunities, so you couldn’t blame him for that one. it’ll look good on anyone’s instagram feed.
you try your best to make yourself look occupied. shuffling through your bag to find a book, the rummaging sounds catch the attention of your beautiful stranger. your eyes meet for a brief moment when you turn your body to lean back in your seat with a book in hand. despite how quick the moment was, you swore your heart dropped the second you caught his gaze.
oh god, was this the excitement you had been waiting for? you couldn’t mistake it as anything else. leave it up to you to fall for a stranger upon first sight, but who cares? finally, finally, your life had begun to be painted in color. even if it was just for a moment, you’d savor this one train ride that actually seemed worthwhile for once in your life.
you steal glances at him every so often, praying he wouldn’t catch you and make you feel embarrassed for staring. you just couldn’t help yourself, he was like a walking renaissance painting. actually, you don’t even think da vinci would be capable of capturing the essence of someone who looked like a real-life prince.
the moment you knew you had reached your stop, you wished you could glue yourself to your seat so you had no choice but to stay on the train with your beautiful stranger a little longer. as much as you wanted to, you simply couldn’t, having no choice but to say goodbye without actually saying a word at all.
it was silly to think a stranger on the train could change your life in an instant. still, you were grateful for the temporary change of pace. if only you could thank him somehow, but alas, you knew you had no chance of seeing him again.
•••
the next day, you found your beautiful stranger again, this time sketching down something in a sketchbook. you caught him looking at everyone who walked onto the train, and when it was finally your turn to step on, he actually smiled once he laid eyes on you. it all felt like you were dreaming. if this was cloud nine, then you had finally reached it.
when you walked over to your seat across from his, you noticed he clutched the sketchbook close to his chest, almost like he didn’t want you to see what he was drawing. you were too shy to speak up and spark a conversation with him anyway, so it wasn’t like you would pry. still, you were curious to know what was on the page.
it pained you knowing you lacked any courage. you found you were better off acting like you were interested in your book, on a random page as you were too in your head to actually start from where you left off and completely ignored the folded page that indicated that. what would happen if you said hello? would he say hi back? ask if you’d like to see what he’s drawing or ask about what you’re reading? the possibilities seemed to be endless, but the possibilities seemed safer as thoughts in your head rather than facing reality if you were to take a chance.
you can’t help but watch intently as his face scrunched from focusing on his sketch, his only tool a wooden pencil. did he plan to color it later? you can imagine trying to avoid rattling colored pencils leaving his possession due to the bumpiness of the train. he was quite brave for trying to draw in a place like this, you thought.
unnoticed by you, your beautiful stranger’s cheeks flushed and ears burned red as he could feel you watching him draw. the subject of his drawing still remained a mystery to you, however. tempting to spark up a conversation, yet so debilitatingly scary at the same time.
it seemed rude to stare for so long, so you put a stop to it immediately and busied yourself with your phone, catching up with texts you had missed since getting up for work. your phone was always blown up with texts from your friends, today being no different. if you didn’t silence your phone at night, you would never get any sleep.
they had been informed about your current saga, and the update would certainly excite them. it was hard to resist a smile as you texted them about the latest scoop, especially as the subject of said scoop was only a few meters away from you. maybe this should wait until later, otherwise they’d trying forcing you out of your comfort zone by talking to who was still a total stranger at the end of the day.
who knows though? for all you know, he could be a murderer. a stinking gorgeous one too. as if you need to be on the evening news. even so, those were just silly thoughts, all just an excuse to stop yourself from taking a chance at something for once in your life out of fear.
the second you reached your stop, you instantly regretted being so silent. would it have killed you to try? it felt like it would’ve, but you figured this morning was the last chance you’d have. if only you weren’t such a scaredy cat.
•••
after your shift, an unexpected reunion occurred on the evening commute. the train was quite crowded at this time of day, majority of the aboard trying to get home after a long day’s work, including you. the surplus of people made it quite difficult to find seating, but luckily for you, your beautiful stranger had a seat occupied by his bag, perfect for you to sit.
this was the extra chance you craved the second you got off the train earlier, cursing yourself throughout the day for not even attempting to just say hello. you were so thankful to see him again, it was almost like the universe blessed you for this very purpose. you were such a wuss this morning, but you refused to allow that reputation to continue now.
once you took a deep breath, you walked to where your beautiful stranger sat, trying to keep your balance as the train moved at rapid speed. in the midst of your struggle, the sound of your footsteps thumping on the ground caught his attention. he looked up in surprise, not expecting to see you, but thrilled nonetheless.
“hi.” you miraculously manage to speak out, your accent making an appearance during your pathetic english. it was agonizing how your heart raced a mile a minute just by uttering one word, so you tried your very best to calm yourself down. “is this seat taken?”
“no, no…” he replied to your question, picking up his bag and moving it to the floor by his feet so you could sit. “here.”
“thank you.” you say before taking the seat next to him.
god, your heart was thumping like the loudest drum ever created. to sit across from his was one thing, but right next to each other, shoulders brushing due to the lack of room? if only you could put a stop to this rapid percussion inside you. at least the sounds of the train rumbling against the tracks could serve as buffer for the unspoken tension between you and your beautiful stranger.
his sketchbook rested unopened on his lap. you recognized it as the one he had earlier, previously held close to his chest as if he were hiding secrets. what could someone as dashing as him be hiding in there, you wonder?
almost as if he were reading your mind, he suddenly opened up the sketchbook, flipping the pages—which revealed beautiful drawings in the split second you saw them—until he landed on a page of a finished sketch, one that you swore looked like you sitting on the train yesterday.
you look up and catch his eye. “is that me?”
“mhm.” he nodded with a soft grin.
his art style was something to be proud of, meant to be showcased in somewhere exquisite like the louvre. could this guy be any more perfect? drop dead gorgeous and talented? to see yourself captured in such a bewitching way was truly the greatest compliment one could ever receive.
the sound of the page ripping away from the binding of the sketchbook startled you. what was he doing? it was so perfect! why mess it all up? you couldn’t help but say something about it.
“what are you—”
“you can have it.” he interrupted you, holding the page in his hands, waiting for you to take it.
“oh…” your cheeks flush as your fingers accidentally grazed over his upon grabbing the sketch. “thank you.”
you almost felt bad holding this in your hands, afraid of ruining it just by the touch of your hand. how could he just let you have this without hesitation? even if this was a drawing of you, it felt like you didn’t deserve to have it.
you examine the drawing down to the details of the clouds behind you. you look for some sort of signature, assuming every artist had one in hopes to find a name. in the bottom corner, you see the name “hyunjin” written in cursive. you had finally put a name to your beautiful stranger.
“hyunjin?” you attempt to pronounce his name. your accent did you no favors, but you tried your best regardless. he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion until you pointed to where his signature was, then receiving a nod confirming that was his name.
“hwang hyunjin.” he said slowly. you repeat his name in full, speaking slower than him to make sure you were saying it correctly as you desperately didn’t want to screw it up. hyunjin, as you’ve now learned, gave you a nod of approval once you’ve won the battle with your accent.
“i’m y/n l/n.” you tell him. it would be awfully rude if he didn’t learn your name, after all. it seemed hyunjin didn’t seem to struggle at all when it came to pronouncing your name. his english was far better than yours, which wasn’t a shock as he seemed to be so insanely perfect in every aspect possible.
“are you an artist?” you ask, making an assumption based on the clues given to you the past two days. if he were anything else, you’d be surprised.
“i sing and dance.” hyunjin replied. you couldn’t believe his perfection could get any greater, but it just did. it would shock you if you learned your once beautiful stranger was a world famous one.
“well, your art is lovely.” you say.
“thank you.” he blushed shyly. to hyunjin, it felt so nice being treated like a normal person, appreciated for his art above all else. while there was no denying you found him to be the most breathtaking person you’d ever seen, there was more beneath the surface, and hyunjin was grateful to be seen for what he loves to do.
“is this your first time in paris?” you question, a chuckle escaping hyunjin’s lips over your pronunciation of your homeland. you were trying to get as much information out of him as possible before you were tortured with reaching your stop and leaving him once more. you had to take this chance while the universe let you have it.
“this is one of my favorite places to visit.” hyunjin said. truth be told, he always loved paris for its scenery and art, but yesterday he found one more reason to love it. is there any other place to love better than a city known all about that?
a visitor’s perspective was certainly different than the perspective of someone who’s lived here their whole life. there were so many reasons to love paris when you didn’t experience the greatest things about it everyday. to you, it was the same old thing. but to hyunjin, it was like a brand new experience each time in the rare event that he visited. but meeting each other allowed the both of you the ability to find something new to appreciate about this city.
“the eiffel tower gets old after a while.” you joke. hyunjin burst into a fit laughter, one more obnoxious than his calm chuckle from before. it infected you instantly, and you craved more of his laugh now that you’ve fully heard it.
hyunjin calmed himself down, letting out a sigh as he leaned his head back with his eyes closed and a grin on his face. he was truly the most beautiful person you had ever seen. “i hope i never get sick of this place.”
“i hope you never do.” you tell him, looking at his face as if he were a sculpture in a museum. “don’t wear it out.”
“i won’t.” he opened his eyes and responded to you, his smile not going away as you gazed into each other’s eyes.
you can’t help but stare at one another, almost like magnets pulling you together. was it normal to feel like this about someone you barely know? even so, it felt like you knew hyunjin before you ever met. such a thought would seem like insanity to someone else, but not to you, at least not in the moment.
your once unwavering stare was unfortunately interrupted by the sudden thrash of the train stopping. you look out the window and recognize it as your stop. if you were crazy enough, you’d stay on the train until they kicked you out, but you weren’t all that brave enough to try your luck. maybe you were better off savoring this moment for what it was; just a moment with a beautiful man who was once a stranger to you.
“ah, that’s my stop.” you say with a frown. hyunjin’s smile from before faded too. it was clear neither of you wanted this to end.
“oh, alright.” he replied. hyunjin watched as you quickly collected your things, not forgetting the drawing he gave you when you first sat next to him. you would cherish it as long as you could, and he could only hope that’s what you’ll do.
“maybe i’ll see you on the stage here someday, yeah?” you force a smile. you were actually sad to see this end, but if you keep a grin on your face, then maybe it’ll hurt a little less.
“yeah…” hyunjin nodded. “i hope you do.”
“bye, hyunjin.” you wave goodbye, hyunjin doing the same.
“thank you for making the train less boring for me.” you get those final words out before following the line of people exiting the train. hyunjin kept his eye on you for as long as he could, even staring out the window as you disappeared into the sea of people. if only he could have went with you.
“bye, y/n.” he said to himself, clutching the sketchbook that once held his masterpiece; a drawing of you, his beautiful stranger.
•••
on the third day, hyunjin was nowhere to be seen. you saw it coming, really. you knew last night was probably your final chance to ever see him again. still, a part of you hoped he’d magically appear on the train when you went to work the next morning.
the thrill you once had was no more. the spark lit aflame in your heart all gone. you weren’t sure if anyone would make you feel the same way hyunjin did. maybe meeting him was a lesson, something to teach you what the city of love was truly about, what you’ve failed at your entire life. at least now you were able to succeed, even if such a success was temporary.
you were thankful that your once black and white world finally had some saturation in it for once. if you were to meet hyunjin once again, no matter what the circumstance may be, the world would be in full bloom. you would look for him in everything you see, down to the bakeries you’ll eat at and sceneries you’d visit, for as long your thoughts echoed his name.
while your routine became repetitive once more, at least you had hyunjin’s image in your brain and his drawing in a picture frame on your shelf. if you were as talented as him, you’d try your hand at drawing him too, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to capture him like your eyes ever did. at least you have the memories.
hyunjin dreaded watching you leave, and he hated it even more when he left for the airport in the morning. he wondered if you thought about where he went, hoping you thought about him like he did now with you. you’d remain ingrained in his mind. whenever hyunjin thought about paris, a place he loved just as much as his hometown, he would think about you too.
he couldn’t explain this sadness inside him to anyone else. hyunjin couldn’t fathom anybody understanding the feeling of love at first sight like he did. a true romantic at heart, maybe you were the only one to be just as foolish as him when it came to romance. after all, you were instantly captivated by one another.
maybe, just maybe, hyunjin could write a song about this and sing it to the thousands of people he performed for like clockwork. but no matter what the days ahead held, hwang hyunjin, your beautiful stranger, was all that he would ever remain, and you would remain as his.
•••
(bonus)
@hynjinnnn: 파리에 있는 동안 기차에서 이 사람의 모습에 반해 그려보기로 결심했습니다. 나는 그들이 그것을 좋아했기를 바랍니다. 언젠가 다시 보고 싶습니다.
i was enthralled by this person on the train while in paris and decided to draw them. i hope they liked it. i'd love to see them again someday.
© plutoccult / 310802. please do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my content in or outside of tumblr. reblogs are appreciated <3
#stray kids#skz#hyunjin#hwang hyunjin#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#hyunjin x reader#hwang hyunjin x reader#pluto writes 📝
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You're Invited…
Event: Tankhun Theerapanyakul's 30th Birthday Extravaganza
Theme: Roaring 20s
Place: Hum Bar
Date: November 25th, 2022
The digitally curated invitation arrives as a group text on Kim's phone two weeks before the date in question. When it arrives, he is strumming a tune so melancholy that it makes him feel he isn't emotionally ready to put together lyrics for it yet. Kim isn't sure why he isn't ready. Writing sad songs over the last five months has been commonplace. So common that his agent has asked him several times if he is okay. Vice is more thoughtful than his record label. His record label has only asked if he could please just write a couple of happy bops for the new album, or at least one.
His answer to Vice?
Of course I'm okay. Why would you think otherwise?
As for his answer to his record label?
No.
Regardless, neither answer seems to please them. Not that he is used to pleasing people, at least not the people who matter to him in some capacity. It has been a habit since Ma died, likely developing as a way to rebel against and to agitate Pa, only to spread like a disease. Pa wants a guard on him? Order the guard to leave or run away if they don't obey. Pa wants him to work a mission at seventeen? Kill the shitty ally who pointed a gun to his head to make Kim comply with his demands at an event when he was thirteen, all while letting their enemy walk free. Kinn finds out the reason Kim made that decision and strongly suggests Pa add a therapist to the roster, even though Pa always said no to doing that for Khun? Make the therapist rush out of the room in tears during their first and only session, then distance himself from an extremely concerned, desperate, and apologetic Kinn.
Chay finds out Kim used him to figure out just how terrible his father is? Pretend like he isn’t bothered and leave Chay heartbroken, only to end up heartbroken himself.
While that last one left a terrible taste in his mouth, it is clearly a tactic that mostly works for him. Look at all the lonely, sad, but high-quality music he is producing. He is curating a great album for someone to play as they write a suicide note. While Kim doesn't condone that, he thinks every person should have the perfect soundtrack for any poignant life event.
Porsche: Looking forward to it! Kinn and I will go shopping for our outfits this week. 🙂
Kinn: Couple coordinated? ❤️❤️❤️
Porsche: You know it 😁❤️
Tankhun: 🤮
Kim has to agree, but keeps his own vomiting emojis to himself.
Tay: Time and I will be there too. Happy to celebrate with you!
Tem: I'll be there as well.
Tay: 😐
Jom: See you guys there!
Yok: Looking forward to decorating the bar and celebrating with you, Tankhun! 🙂💜🍾🥂
Kim isn't even sure how he got Tem's, Jom's, and Yok's numbers. He probably found them and added them to his contacts when he was obsessively researching Porsche's origins on a caffeine bender. Whatever. They are in his phone now.
Unknown Number: Okay.
Porsche: You can come, but no drinking!!!
Fuck. It's Chay's new number.
That has Kim going from passively watching the conversation on his phone to quickly picking it up to click on the group text list and go through everyone in the chat. He has all of them saved on his phone except for two numbers and the list isn't very long. Not surprising. Tankhun went from a popular boarding school student to a traumatized, agoraphobic shut-in who cut himself off from everyone outside of the family and his bodyguards. He is only coming back to himself - or developing a new version. It is a mix of the sharp, caring, and charismatic big brother he used to have and the eccentric and over-the-top persona he put on after the kidnapping. He is both recognizable and a complete stranger, and Kim has missed him so much.
Not that he will say that out loud.
But maybe he can show him. He can show him that he cares and that he loves him. Kim never stopped loving either of his brothers, despite the distance he put between himself and his family. He never wanted to distance himself from Tankhun. He would have taken Tankhun with him. Kim told him they could share an apartment, even when he knew Tankhun told Kinn about why he killed one of Pa’s allies. He never blamed Tankhun for that and he still doesn't. Tankhun had just wanted Kim to get the help he was denied, even though Kim clearly doesn’t need it. Kim had wanted (and still wants) his oldest brother with him so they could get away and put all their shit behind them.
And Tankhun wouldn't leave. So Kim left alone and he stayed that way. Alone.
But Kim can choose not to be alone, at least for one night. He didn't realize how alone he felt, not until he came to his senses and - unfortunately - Chay came to his senses too. Maybe a party will be good for him, even though parties are never good for him. Unless he is hired to perform at one, he doesn't want to be at them. Ever.
Apparently Chay does. Chay is going and Kim hasn't seen him in person for months. That means Kim is going too.
Kim: Count me in.
Tankhun: HE SPEAKS. 😱
Kim: Did you want me to ignore your invitation?
Tankhun: Of course I didn't. I just expected you to. You better dress up in a costume.
Kim: No.
Thankhun: 🙄 Fine. Just look nice. And ACT nice. Socialize. Do not stand in a corner all night. You deserve to have fun, believe it or not.
No. He doesn't. But he doesn't say that.
Kim: Okay.
Tankhun: …Is everything alright?
Kim stares at the text.
Kim: Why?
Tankhun: Because you are agreeing to come to a party.
Kim: I have attended parties before. It isn't that absurd of a concept.
Tankhun: Because you haven't come to the compound in months and skipped Pa's birthday dinner.
Kim: Why would I go to that?
Tankhun: Because he faked his death so Uncle Gun would force an attack and neither of them cared if their sons were killed in their violent feud. Because our father killed his brother. Because our cousin will likely never walk again.
Kim: Haven't you hated Vegas for years?
Tankhun: And yet I cry every time I think of how he must be feeling. Even though I hated him for years, I loved him for much longer.
Kim: Hm.
Tankhun: Kind of like you with Pa.
Kim: It's very different, but whatever.
Tankhun: Is that why you texted me privately to accept the invite? So Pa wouldn't see your text and be more likely to come too? I seriously doubt he will come, by the way. Hum Bar doesn't seem like his thing.
That isn't why. However, it is a plus.
Kim: Sure.
Tankhun: Are you actually okay? Something seems wrong.
It's a question from his agent that he regularly answers with lies. Why can't he text a lie to Tankhun? He should be able to text a one worded lie to his brother, yet his finger and thumb won't cooperate. Chay always playfully picked on him when it came to how he texted, with his left thumb and right index finger. Kim had pointed out that not all people game to the extent where using both thumbs to communicate as their go-to. Kim beat him at speed texting out the lyrics to some random song, and Chay beat him at Mortal Kombat in retaliation.
The memory makes Kim go lie down on the couch and stare at his reflection in the dark television screen, his phone left abandoned on the coffee table. An hour later, Tankhun lets himself into his apartment and Arm makes himself scarce by going into his kitchen to make dinner for the three of them.
Kim silently wishes him luck on that front. Other than some spices in the cabinet by the stove, coffee in the pantry, and a couple of takeout containers in the fridge from who knows how many days ago, he doesn't have much else to work with.
"Lift your head up," Tankhun says, urging him until he has enough room to sit down so that Kim's head is falling in his lap, "Let's watch a movie."
Whatever.
The movie in question deals with a couple gradually becoming more and more estranged. Of course it does. There is no happy ending in sight, so it is just like slowly watching tragedy unfold. Tankhun - predictably - cries his eyes out. Kim - not so predictably - cries too. But he's more subtle about it. He is actually so subtle that his brother probably doesn't even notice.
"Kim, what's going on with you?" Tankhun murmurs sadly as Kim's shoulders shake and he soaks Tankhun's pants leg with tears.
Fine. He does notice. But Kim still doesn't respond.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
He needs to look good for the party. The problem is, Kim always looks good. He isn't conceited, it's just a fact. Even when he was a child, everyone talked about how beautiful he was. Ma eventually tried to redirect those types of compliments by talking about his talent and how sweet he could be. But then Ma died and Khun had to take over on that front instead. And that's a hard responsibility to hold up when you're strapped to a gurney in the infirmary and being called crazy every other month. So Kinn got to be called the new heir, Khun got to be called crazy, and Kim had been left with pretty. It's probably the most preferable out of those three possibilities anyway.
But while Chay was likely attracted to his looks, he had been drawn in by Kim's talent. He hung off every word and piece of advice Kim gave him during their lessons. He had the courage to ask him to be his tutor. Chay looked at him with admiration and respect before he ever looked at him with hearts in his eyes, despite the pictures of Kim on his bedroom wall revealing that Chay found him at least somewhat attractive before they got close.
Chay probably tore those down. He doesn't want to look at Kim anymore. Kim knows that. If Kim were a better person, he would skip the party. It would make Chay happy, and honestly? It would be on brand for Kim.
But maybe Kim wants to go off brand for a while. Maybe his brand of being an aloof, mysterious, and loner musician is no longer doing him or anyone else favors. Maybe he is just tired of being him.
And maybe that's why he finds an outfit that actually complies with the roaring 20s theme. A three piece suit, complete with a stupidly expensive pocket watch.
He feels ridiculous. He doesn't feel like himself at all.
Good.
Except Kim got dressed too early. He doesn’t want to go back to his apartment like this. And part of him knows that once he goes back home, he may lose the gull to go back out. So maybe he will continue acting out of character. Going to Hum Bar early to help his brother decorate seems out of character.
So that's what he does.
"Kim?" Tankhun says as soon as he comes through the doors before his eyes widen, "What are you wearing?"
Kim looks down at his clothes, "Do you want me to get clothes from my car?"
"Nope, no need," Tankhun says, then comes over to put his arms around him, "You look very nice. Handsome, actually! What do you think of my tux?"
Kim gives his oldest brother a once over. Tankhun had strayed from his own personal norm even more than Kim did.
"It looks great," Kim tells him, causing Tankhun to beam brightly, "What do you need help with?"
"Well," Tankhun says, glancing behind him, "Arm and I are arranging the feather bouquets. Pol and Yok are stringing the black and gold ornaments together. Why don't you put together the placemats? We'll have dinner and cake first, then the fun can really begin. Thank you for coming."
"Wouldn't miss it," Kim says, even though that would normally be a lie. Tankhun hugs him again regardless, "Happy birthday, by the way."
Tankhun gives him a small smile, then takes a step back, "I hope it is. Now, come on! Let me introduce you to Yok."
Kim has a weird urge to let Tankhun know he knows a lot about Yok, both from Chay's fond comments about her and Kim's own research (disowned by her family, knows four languages, and has a childhood sweetheart who pointedly left the country with their son once Yok came to terms with her gender and decided to transition, which explains why she is so protective over Porsche and Chay and mothers them).
Instead, he just nods and tries to smile warmly. She seems like a nice person. She deserves warmth. She is kind to Tankhun and a very welcoming presence. Going by her interactions with his brother, Arm, and Pol, she has made friends with them. Right now, she's laughing at some joke Pol made that Kim doesn't really get but she clearly does.
Going by how closely Khun and Arm are talking, they seem closer too.
Weird. Although, Arm is now Khun's head guard, so maybe it isn't. Yet for some reason, watching them makes Kim feel out of place. But he snaps himself out of even attempting to analyze the situation further. Tankhun has often befriended his guards, a habit that could be heartbreaking for his brother, but beneficial because it is hard to make friends when you don’t leave the house. Maybe he is just closer to Arm than he has been to any other guard.
He feels alone.
When Pete walks through the door, Kim is actually relieved. Because as misplaced as Kim feels, Pete has to be feeling ten times worse.
"Pete?" Tankhun says hopefully, only having eyes for his ex-head guard as Pete cautiously walks into the bar, "You never texted back. I thought…We didn't know if…"
Pete breathes in and gives Tankhun a sad smile, "I just wanted to stop by to give you your gift and tell you happy birthday."
Tankhun nods, then glances down at the wrapped gift and cards once Pete hands them over, "You could stay, you know."
Pete just shrugs, keeping the sad smile on his face, causing Arm to step in.
"We miss you, Pete. So much," Arm tells him, coming to stand next to Tankhun, "Why don't you just stay for dinner?"
"...I can't," Pete says eventually, "Vegas and Macau are waiting in the car."
"...Oh," Arm says quietly, then says nothing else. What else could he say? Kim wouldn't know how to handle it. Vegas has been a sensitive topic for Tankhun for years. And after what happened, there is no way-
Tankhun lets out an unbothered sound, "That's fine! If you're worried about Macau being underage, Chay is coming too! Chay is just a year older than Macau and he needs a friend with everything going on. I am sure Macau is in a similar situation. They can chat. Get to know each other."
It's a shocking offer to hear coming out of Tankhun's mouth, even by Kim's standards. Going by Pol's and Arm's expressions, they are flabbergasted by it. But despite the thoughtfulness of the offer, Kim doesn't like it. He doesn't like the idea of competing with Macau for Chay's attention. He needs to figure out a way to talk to him, and Macau being there will give Chay a reason to ignore Kim in favor of pointedly focusing on a new potential friend. Because Chay is really great at that now. Ignoring Kim.
It is a selfish and stupid thought. Toxic too, because Tankhun is right. Chay deserves to have friends who understand what he is going through. But Kim is tired of trying to earn Chay's attention and he doesn't want to compete with Macau. He never did.
"Vegas is still in the car," Pete says, looking away from Tankhun.
Tankhun purses his lips, "This place is very accessible. No steps, wide doorways. Vegas should be fine to join us."
It's an even more shocking offer than inviting Macau. But it does show how desperate Tankhun is to have Pete here.
"He…" Pete starts, still looking off to the side, "Vegas is still getting used to things. He doesn't…The wheelchair is a sensitive topic for him. It is hard enough to get him to leave the house for appointments. I was lucky to get him to agree to his therapy intake this afternoon."
"Therapy intake?" Tankhun asks, his voice a murmur, "Porsche said Vegas has been in physical therapy since waking up from his coma. He said you told him Vegas goes on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays."
Pete nods, then clears his throat, "Not that kind of therapy."
Tankhun stares at him, then nods too, "Oh. That…That's good. He has probably needed that for a long time. And he probably especially needs it now."
"Probably so," Pete vaguely agrees, then glances down at the gifts, "One of those cards is from him. He…wanted to tell you happy birthday. Apologize. Get some things off his chest, I think. He had me read it to make sure it sounded okay. It's respectful. Heartfelt. Just…Make sure you read it with an open mind and when you are ready. Don't feel like you need to open it tonight. Enjoy your birthday. I know me showing up is probably stressful enough-"
“It’s not stressful, Pete,” Tankhun says, his voice strained, “It’s appreciated. I invited you because I wanted you here. Almost everyone I invited is someone I want in attendance. Almost. But believe me, you are not the exception.”
If anyone else in the room knows who it is, they don’t comment on it.
“Please stay?” Tankhun says, but Pete is already shaking his head, “Please?”
“...I’m sorry,” Pete tells him, his expression pained and guilty, “Maybe…Maybe I can call you soon? We can…We’ll catch up.”
Tankhun looks at Pete with teary eyes, then finally nods silently in agreement and accepts one last hug from him before Pete takes his leave.
“I just need a minute,” Tankhun mutters, then quickly walks to one of the bathrooms. Kim isn’t sure what to think when Arm only gives him two minutes before following him. A part of Kim wants to chew him out and tell him that his brother has a right to be alone if he needs it. But when Kim goes to the door to do just that, he overhears them.
“I know,” he hears Arm murmur as Tankhun cries, “I know you wanted him to come.”
“He doesn’t even answer my texts!” Tankhun sobs, “I thought he was my friend. He was my o-only friend for so long! And he won’t even TALK to me!”
“Khun, a lot has happened,” Arm says gently, weirdly referring to his brother personally, “It’s only been a few months. We’re all still raw from everything. That includes Pete. Give him some time. I know you miss him. I miss him too.”
“This is Pa’s fault! Pa did this! I just…I don’t…”
“I know,” Arm says again when Tankhun trails off.
And as much as he wants to see if his brother is okay, Kim lets Arm handle him and goes to pull out his phone.
Kim: How are you doing?
Macau: Why?
Kim: Idk.
Macau only responds thirty minutes later.
Macau: Horrible. Better than ever. I don’t know, man. P’Pete is a fucking saint though. I don’t care if we’re Buddhists. He has earned sainthood because he is a miracle worker who is somehow making Hia happy despite the circumstances.
A minute later.
Macau: How are you doing?
Kim just presses down on Macau’s message and reacts to it with an abacus emoji. It’s the most random one he can find. He expects Macau to be confused or tell him he’s the weirdest person he has ever known. Like he did before, back when their mothers were alive and their brothers liked each other.
Macau: That bad, huh?
Kim leaves him on read.
To read the rest of this one-shot, go to:
#kimchay#kinnporsche fanfic#kimchay fanfic#kimchay fic#kimchay fanfiction#kim theerapanyakul#porchay kittisawasd#kpts#implied ArmKhun#tw: depression#tw: implied abuse#tw: grief#heartbreak#getting back together#tw: eating issues#IWCCCIJLHWY#kinnporche the series#tankhun theerapanyakul#kinn theerapanyakul
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Fic Writer Q & A!
tagged by @voxofthevoid, took me a while i'm sorry ;;;
How many wips do you have currently?
a surprising amount!! four actively on the go at the moment, including one collab piece, and a solid 8 more besides that i am going to be trying to crack out over the next couple of weeks even if they're short and sweet. on top of that i have another 7 things planned for my main ship and another 2 or 3 from others!!
aka i am busy and my wips list is huge r i p
Which one are you finding the hardest to finish?
there's something i keep writing and flittering away from then coming back then flittering away from, and it's frustrating because it's a concept i adore and i've put a lot of worldbuilding thought into it, but it's also not my main ship so my brain is tripping a little bit on it because the brainrot is r e a l
What does it usually look like when inspiration strikes for you?
uh. sometimes it's a 2k fic in 2hrs. somethings it's 25k over 3 weeks and a 7 page planning doc. it really depends on what the inspo is jhgfghj
Do you curate playlists for each fic or is your process different?
i honestly.... don't really write to music? there's been one exception really, but if i do need something on i will either play a specific soundtrack-only playlist i have, or a heavy phonk playlist. i'm not really a music person, if i'm honest!
Do you go balls to the wall and write as you go or are you more organized?
it genuinely depends on the fic. like i said above, i have wips that have absolutely nothing planned (like most f my argenthill week prep, i've literally just got the prompt name lmao) and then i have a fic that has a literal 7 page (and running) planning doc mapping relationships, roles, chapters, and a hit-list of unordered scenes that me n my collab partner are ordering as we go
i don't know who's super active anymore hhh so if you see this and you write consider this me tagging you and tell me about your stuff (feel free to link me to your answers to i'd love to read em!!!)
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🍓🧃📚
🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?
I was a reader long before I was a writer - obsessed with reading fic for so many fandoms - Marvel, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Harry Potter, Kingsman . . . but it wasn't until I discovered the Glee/Klaine fandom that I started writing. I ended up meeting a few lovely people through that fandom who were as addicted to fan fiction as I was and we'd get together to read fics and dissect/discuss them. And on a whim one day I wanted to give them a gift so I tried writing my first one. They assured me it was good, encouraged me to share it with others and that fic ended up being the first ever fic I posted on A03. And I've kept up with the writing - and here we are :)
🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before
I'm not sure if they mean personal like about me . . or do they mean personal , like private stuff I've thought about any of my fics that I've never shared? 😂 I'll talk about the fics, because I'm not all that interesting myself ( and I can't really remember what I have or haven't shared about myself anyway - long term memory be damned) Not so much personal lore, but personal feelings . . . I really am enjoying hearing that folks have love the music I've been curating for If I Can Make Your Heart My Home. (You can hear the current playlist here - and it's still evolving ). This is the first time I've done this, had so much music (and recipes) tied in with a story. I hope it brings an added layer to the story for readers. It honestly feels very much like I'm scoring or selecting a soundtrack to the fic itself. I have to say I always loved classical music myself in the past, but have really discovered some exceptional cello players while doing this and cello covers. Thanks to my fic partner, @datshitrandom for introducing me to Nicholas Yee ( you'll see him and a number of talented cellists appear repeatedly in the play list). And who knew so many of Sara Bareliiles songs could go so well with a big angsty fic? 😂 ( I do love her work as well)
📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?
I actually don't use my notes app on my phone as much as I do write on Scrivener . . and I think the last thing I wrote on there was for the next chapter of Puppy Love:
“Done, and done, sweetheart, “ Alex said, as he deftly flicked the door locked. He turned back to Henry with a naughty glint in his eye. “Now . . where were we?”
****
Thanks for the ask, @tinyarmedtrex!💖
Writers Truth & Ask Game - To play click here
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on the beach at night alone (2017) dir by. hong sang-soo
the last time i watched this movie i was a few months younger and had to watch this film for an assignment. as a result, most of the things in the film i decided to skip and skim over, pausing only to note down the artistic choices of the setting, the camerawork, and anything else i could collect as useful tips for my work. today, i finished watching this film around 2 o’clock in the afternoon. subsequently, i was drained and i was sleepy. i took a nap - it lasted around 30 minutes, enough for me to have dozed off listening to the entirety of japanese breakfasts’ 2016 album, psychopomp. i woke up dishevelled and tired, and that's why i’m writing my review 5ish hours later.
the cinematography of this film is raw in the way that it is quite similar to the quality of the short film i made for my assignment. i don't mean this in a rude way, nor am i trying to say that the camera work is basic or too simple. rather, the way it is filmed - through the zooming in and out, and the partly unstable camera pans and movements - gives the audience the director's eye and his perspective, as if someone was following the main character around and spying on her. often, hong captures the raw moments of silence, of loneliness - both disappointing and contentful for the main character. the classical soundtrack in the back, and the sweet voice of kim min hee, make this movie soothing - to the point where i could (and did) fall asleep to it. kim minhee, who plays the main character, is so careful and graceful with the way she expresses emotion, that there is no exaggeration or cliche that exudes from her - it all feels natural, perfect.
if i were ever to recommend something to sleep to, i would recommend this movie. not because its boring, but rather, if you fall asleep and wake up in the middle of it, the next few scenes you watch will capture a perfectly curated depiction of loneliness, and the loneliness one feels although they may be surrounded by those who are meant to make them less lonely.
this movie feels like laughing on your birthday and crying an hour later, the emptiness you feel after going out, but also the comfort you feel lying in your bed after a long day.
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As a digital migrant rather than a native, I remember how amazing it felt to stumble my way around the internet in the 90s and early 00s, uncovering its unexpected nooks and crannies with astonishment and delight; it was an exciting and genuinely joyful time. Now I watch other people shout at each other, assailed by news of catastrophes and bombarded with adverts for horrible trousers and cryptocurrency for the further enrichment of billionaires. I scroll, jaded, trying to recapture that sense of wonder I used to feel. Thankfully, there are still off-the-beaten-path pockets of astonishment out there and I thought it might be nice to gather some of them together. So, here is a selection of online things I love, and that other people I asked love – old and new stuff that is fascinating, beautiful, edifying and, above all, fun. Maybe one or two of them might give you a bit of internet joy back, too.
Dogs in Elk
Do me a favour: Google “dogs in elk”. Perhaps one day this post on a long-defunct forum will vanish into the ether, or perhaps it’s sufficiently beloved to survive, but either way you need this hilarious shaggy (bloody) dog story in your life. It was written by Anne, whose dogs discovered an elk carcass, got inside it and refused to leave. Anne and I once exchanged emails, so I can assure you that she exists and that this really happened.
The Fish Doorbell
There is a dam in the Netherlands where migrating fish get stuck, since it rarely opens in spring. The solution: an underwater camera linked to a website where viewers can press a button when they spot fish. That notifies the lock operator, who can open it up and let the fish go on their way. Ooh, I have just seen two! Press the button!
@crescentshay
Shay Rose is an effervescent and endlessly inventive costume-maker who shares her projects on Instagram. Nothing is too bonkers for her: a “social distancing” dress that enveloped her in a 3.7 metre (12ft) circle of pink tulle, anime cosplay or a fancy-dress costume that turned her into a perfect lifesize version of one of those stocking-filler wiggly worms on a string.
Strange Flowers
In his Wordpress cabinet of human curiosities, the Australian academic James Conway writes potted biographies of daring, transgressive, dangerous-to-know eccentrics of the past 200 years. Choose at random and you are unlikely to be disappointed, but how about Violette Murat, the fin de siècle lesbian who kept a decommissioned submarine in which to smoke opium, or Marchesa Casati, who, naked beneath her fur coat, wore a necklace of live snakes and paraded a cheetah on a lead?
Radiooooo
Pick a country from the world map, pick a decade and Radiooooo plays you music from that time and place (refined to slow, fast or “weird”, if you want to be more specific). I am writing this to a soundtrack of 1960s Morocco and feeling more cosmopolitan than I have any right to: “Oh, you’re not familiar with Abdelwahab Agoumi? You should check him out.” More seriously, Radiooooo gives you that expansive feeling that the world is vast, various and infinitely creative. That’s nice.
Crime Pays, But Botany Doesn’t
This YouTube channel describes itself as “a low-brow, crass approach to plant ecology & evolution as muttered by a misanthropic Chicago Italian”. A gruff botanist called Tony tells you about esoteric plants, and it is exceptionally soothing.
Kottke
Sifting through the internet to provide a miscellany of interesting stuff is a real talent; Jason Kottke’s magpie eye has been reliably curating interesting stuff – short, long, funny, serious, totally out-there – since 1998. Recent highlights include the best visual illusions of the year competition, Japan’s decorated manhole covers and stunning photos of the Milky Way.
Weird Medieval Guys
Check out the titles of some of these Substack posts by the historian Olivia Swarthout and tell me you don’t want to read more: “What does a biblically accurate angel look like?”; “No, the king doesn’t own all the swans in Britain”; “Do you have less free time than a medieval peasant?” Clickbait, but medieval (and highly informative).
Mimi Smartypants
The consistently hilarious Chicago-based medical publisher Mimi Smartypants has been blogging since the internet was just fields of billowing unspoilt html and her riffs on whatever amuses or outrages her – public transport encounters and the general absurdity of life – are endlessly delightful. Her newest entry describing the deficiencies of linen sheets made me laugh out loud (“Would you like to take a nap on Nan Pierce?”).
Sandwiches of History
An American man called Barry delves into old recipe books and then taste-tests the sandwiches he finds in them on YouTube. They are usually an affront to God and man (ironed bread and mushroom soup, condensed milk, flour, egg and vinegar) but Barry gives each one a fair go and a generous assessment. We should all be more Barry.
Closer to Van Eyck
This incredible site is dedicated to Jan van Eyck’s much-stolen Ghent Altarpiece, featuring the 15th-century Flemish master’s deeply weird Adoration of the Mystic Lamb. Zoom in on every brushstroke and piece of craquelure, check out the X-ray and infrared imaging, delve deep into the strange history and iconography and pretend you are one of the posh experts on Fake or Fortune … hours of fun.
My80stv
Whatever year you are nostalgic for, scratch the itch here with a compendium of TV clips that you can channel-hop through as if you were watching telly in, say, 1989. It is very US-centric, but it gives me the time-travel feeling I crave. Other decade versions are also available.
David Rumsey’s Map Collection
Cartography enthusiast David Rumsey has put his entire collection of more than 150,000 maps online, from 16th to 21st century, terrestrial, maritime and celestial. It is the perfect place to get lost (sorry).
Found in a Library Book
The Oakland public library uploads the things people leave behind in library books (usually as bookmarks) to its website: it is a gripping, often touching collection of photos, drawings, sugar packets, letters, shopping lists and more.
Marine Traffic
There are a mind-boggling number of ships in the world and on this site you can watch them going about their business. They are colour-coded by type (cargo vessels, tankers, fishing boats) and you can find out where they have come from and where they are going.
Laura Ramoso
There is a lot of so-so observational comedy on the internet but Laura Ramoso’s Instagram and TikTok imitations of her German mother and Italian father have the ring of extremely funny truth.
The National Grid Live
Hear me out: this site lets you see how much power is being generated from different sources – watch as solar rises on a sunny day – and how much Great Britain is importing and exporting. It is weirdly compelling.
Tradle
Guess a place based on its exports: you get six chances, narrowing it down, thanks to information on how far off each wrong guess was. Warning: they are not all countries despite the game description: 77.3% “processed crustaceans” and 0.4% compasses is Saint Pierre et Miquelon, one of France’s semi-autonomous “overseas collectivities”. Nerdy but entertaining.
Forvo
A guide to pronouncing anything, including proper nouns and names in any language, Forvo has the power to save you significant embarrassment.
Lightning Maps
Follow storms erupting in real time. Yellow dots represent lightning strikes, and a white expanding circle shows the thunder sound movement. This is good for impressing kids, says a friend, because, like an omniscient weather god, you can “predict” when thunder is about to erupt.
Useless Farm
Karen the murderous emu, Brad, a furious fluffball cockerel, and several dopey alpacas live on this Canadian smallholding absolutely failing to earn their keep, other than on TikTok and Instagram. This kind of stuff can swiftly become annoying or samey, but useless animal wrangler Amanda has funny bones, and pretty much everything she posts is entertaining.
Messy Nessy Chic
I have no idea how Vanessa Grall comes up with the cabinet of art, design, fashion and historical wonders that have filled her website for the past 12 years; I just know she has better taste than I ever will. Dip in for the likes of a guide to Swedish islands, intimate Victorian portraiture by a viscountess or 1920s matchboxes.
Ridella
For Wordle addicts hungry for more once-daily stimulation, this site offers a riddle – the kind of thing a troll would make you solve to cross a bridge – one line at a time.
@dusttodigital
This Instagram music account is a celebration of the human desire to make sound in all its lovely diversity, from virtuoso to amateur and everything in between. I especially love the posts that showcase videos people send in of music they have encountered across the world, in the streets, in classrooms, rehearsal halls, fields …
Global Wind and Wave Patterns
You don’t have to have a clue what is going on to enjoy this site that lets you watch mesmerising animations of wind, wave and current patterns wherever you like on the globe.
The Worst Cat
This is a single-joke site – the joke being criticising baby hippos for being moist, ugly, frequently straw-covered cats – and has not been updated for years, but returning to it, I still laughed, again and again. It might work for you, too.
My Noise
My Noise feels like a gift to a fractious world: your choice of hundreds of customisable soundscapes, based on your needs (focus, sleep, stress, “pet comfort” and many more). There is an incredible variety – everything from “calm office”, to “European primeval forest” – and you can play around and mix your own blend based on whatever elements work best for you. My husband has found “rice field” with extra cicadas provides real relief from his tinnitus.
The Marginalian
The site formerly known as Brainpickings is a compendium of philosophy, poetry, visual arts, literature and other mediations on the business of being alive, collated by the author Maria Popova. Recently, I enjoyed 19th-century naturalist Jean-Baptiste Vérany’s chromographs of octopuses and Magritte’s exhortation to celebrate “joy for the eyes and the mind”.
One Zoom
Pick an animal, plant, or other living organism and, via this site, explore visually how it fits into the tree of life. Mesmerising.
Listen to the Clouds
On this dreamily weird site you can listen to live air traffic control chatter from a variety of airports across the world, against a background of ambient sound.
Library of Congress
The US Library of Congress has digitised big chunks of its collection – incredible photographs and early daguerrotypes, baseball cards, cartoons, maps and historical documents. It is overwhelming, but brilliant for a lunchtime browse.
How Many People Are in Space Right Now?
This site does exactly what it says on the tin (with details of who they are and a link to their Wikipedia page).
GeoGuessr
This quiz gives you a picture of somewhere and you have to put it on a map accurately. For an additional layer of complexity, try TimeGuessr, which asks you to identify the correct year as well as place for a photograph. I have just narrowed down a pic of an Edinburgh festival street performer to within 163 metres, but my guess of 2013 was four years out. Curses! Play again.
Martin Critchlow
The TikTok adventures of a scaffolder from King’s Lynn and his tiny mouse, Mr Jingles (the successor to Mrs Jingles, sadly deceased of natural causes). Mr Jingles really likes prawn crackers; Mr Critchlow really likes tiny harvest mice, I guess. Wholesome.
Explore webcams
There are an overwhelming number of wonderful wildlife cams out there but, for a sure bet, head to the “featured” camera on the Explore homepage. I just got bald eagles feeding their chicks, which proved very unhelpful for finishing this article.
The Lucyverse
I am torn about including writer Lucy Sweet’s brilliant newsletter because I’m sure she will end up getting my job, but I can’t in all conscience leave it out. Sweet reviews stuff: herbal teas, B&Q, Soreen mini loaves, Christmas decorations she finds in Home Bargains. The magic is in her forensically accurate skewerings. A taster: “Ugh, the Toast catalogue … Like a Guardian article on the dangers of foraging.” If you sign up, the newsletter arrives every Monday morning precisely when you most need a laugh.
If the Moon Were Only 1 Pixel
Space is terrifying – my tiny medieval peasant mind can’t begin to comprehend its vastness. This site, which describes itself as “a tediously accurate scale model of the solar system” is such a good way to understand the vastness, through scrolling – something I am very good at – with manageable little nuggets of info along the way.
Mondo Mascots
Japan’s mascot culture is a repository of intense oddness, and the British writer and illustrator Chris Carlier gives an enthusiastic account of them on his site (in more detail than on his laconic and equally unmissable Twitter account @mondomascots). Discover, among others, an extinct river otter with a bowl of noodles as a hat that represents Susaki City, an “armless, dancing character based an ancient roof tile” or “Colon-chan, an intestine-haired lady who encourages colon cancer screenings”.
Post Secret
Post Secret predated Fesshole, the popular Twitter feed where people confess their sins anonymously and receive internet absolution or condemnation (more likely both). It is a combination of confessional and art project, since contributors send in their contributions on a postcard, sometimes elaborately decorated. “The day I leave this city I’m asking Tim for a kiss”; “Somebody else’s 23andMe DNA test destroyed my life”: each one is a baby-shoes-length short story.
Wikiloc
Wherever you are in the world, find a user-tested walk or cycle route. You can filter for distance, difficulty and for circular walks only. It has taken me to some spectacular spots (and trudging along a few A-roads, too, but that is mainly my incompetence).
Kingdom of Loathing
I don’t really understand what is going on in this long-running gentle, funny game full of stick people yet, but on my first try, I apparently gained “the patience of a tortoise” and a “liver popsicle”. Tell me more.
The Deep Sea
Scroll down, down, down this metre-by metre graphic of the sea and discover all the weird stuff that lives at various levels, with cool facts along the way. It is a good site for a “tag yourself” game with the creatures you encounter: I think I’m a headless chicken fish.
The Met’s Artist Project
Take a couple of minutes to watch a contemporary artist react to pieces in the Metropolitan Museum’s incredibly eclectic collection. Edmund de Waal reflects on why a 500-year-old Chinese jug was left white and Kehinde Wiley discusses class in John Singer Sargent’s portraiture. There are 120 entries in total.
@museumoflostmemories
There’s something really poignant about this Instagram account, which seeks to reunite photos found in junk shops and flea markets with their subjects (or subjects’ descendants): so many forgotten smiles and poses. The hit rate is low, but if you click “Returned!” you can enjoy some really satisfying success stories.
Antipodes Map
A simple site to answer that perennial question: where would you end up if you tunnelled right through the Earth and came out the other side?
Kids Favourite Jams By Their Dads’ Favourite Bands
On TikTok, songwriter Kevin Scott Rhoads spins a wheel to choose a band (Mumford & Sons, Bon Iver, The National) and a nursery rhyme and then produces pitch-perfect parodies. I particularly enjoyed Baby Shark in the style of Radiohead.
xkcd
I don’t understand all of Randall Munroe’s often science and tech-themed stick-figure web comic (Munroe is a physicist who worked for Nasa), but the bits I do get tend to be clever and very funny.
Things Magazine
This densely packed, very plainly formatted compendium of links to interesting things was created by a group of writers and historians with an interest in objects and what they tell us about the world. That doesn’t exactly narrow their remit and it can feel overwhelming, but there is so much delight and interest packed into every post. The newest one has links to a playlist of classic tracks from 1994, royal doppelgangers and a Museum of Failure. Just let your eye wander and alight on whatever link catches your attention, you won’t be disappointed.
Surprised Eel Historian
You may never have thought “I’d like to know more about the history of eels”, but that was a mistake, as this Twitter account full of fascinating eel facts demonstrates.
Owl in a Box
I had to include this, the OG of internet angry birds. There is not much to it: six photographs of a great horned owl found by the side of the road, absolutely furious to be rescued. The photos, in which only one giant yellow eye is visible, glaring balefully through the flap of a cardboard box, make all the years I have wasted on the internet worthwhile. Sort of.
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Hi Jen!
First, I've been wanting to tell you that I think you were one of the first kudos I ever got on my first chaptered story come and take a walk on the wild side and that really made my day when it happened.
I was so new to the fandom at the time and it was so cool to see someone was interested in a story that was far out of my own writing comfort zone at the time.
Now, for Nice Ask Day, I have to ask:
If you could have a soundtrack made for any of your stories; which would it be, who's five artist that would be on it, and if you want, what would their songs be called?
omg really? I didn’t know that! I remember being super intrigued by the premise!
I’ll go with the universe that I have the most extensive playlist for which is the vampire universe (I’d link my playlist when I post the sequel, but I’d be revealing my whole name and I don’t want to go through the effort of making a new spotify account lol). Embarrassed to admit that yes, some of the twilight soundtrack is on this playlist.
I actually have so many scenes that when I write, I think about how awesome it would be to watch this scene play out with a particular song in the background, so I’ll give you an artist and then what song of theirs would play during which scene! (Side note: I had to take a theater appreciation class in college and I was in charge of sound design for our final project and I actually loved it! My professor recommended me to take more classes, but it was so far from my degree that those class didn’t fit into my carefully curated schedule. I will channel that energy here instead)
1. Noah Kahan
Maine (specifically the intro) would play in the beginning of as if you were a mythical thing. I’m picturing an overview of the town before zooming into Carlos on his run because duh, look at the title of the song.
2. Taylor Swift (the folklore/evermore type music)
Peace would play on the drive back from camping after Carlos finds out about TK. Picture the scenic backroads with both of them looking out the windows wondering what happens next
3. Bon Iver
Roslyn (hello twilight soundtrack) would play during the scene on the beach when TK tells Carlos about his parents
4. Hozier
I’m thinking Work Song would be a nice slow yet powerful, meaningful song for either tarlos’ first time or their last time with Carlos as a human (coming soon!)
5. Lord Huron
The Night We Met would play during the final scene of the sequel, which will make a lot more sense eventually!
As you can tell, the soundtrack for this very much matches the gloomy autumn woodsy mood of this universe!
I appreciate the creativity of the final part of the ask, but that is not my strong suit AJDHJA I already struggle to title my own work
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Glen Wilson/HBO
15 'Insecure' Sex Scenes That'll Make You Go Back For More
Let's take a walk down memory lane, shall we?
Sheriden Chanel
Jun. 17, 2022 03:00PM EST
It's been nearly half a year since the series finale of Insecureaired, and I'm still not over it. So much so, I've unapologetically binge-watched the series a couple of times since "Everything Gonna Be, Okay?!" had us shedding real tears as it was hard to say goodbye, okay?! The Issa Rae-created show offered a complex look into the normal lives of Black millennial women navigating adulthood. It was relatable, authentic, and easy for a lot of us to see ourselves at some point throughout the duration of the five-season run. Since its premiere in 2016, we've laughed, we've cried, and we've also taken a look in the mirror and challenged our own mirror selves to grow and leave comfort zones behind at times.
In addition to the subject matter, Insecure also struck a chord with its thoughtfully curated soundtrack and stunning visuals. And I can't be the only one who was a fan of the steamy sex scenes that often played out (of which my favorite were the ones that sort of popped up out of nowhere). Keep reading for an extensive list of all of the sex scenes in Insecure (excluding the finale season because they were few and far between and nobody has time for that).
Spoilers are most definitely ahead.
Season 1, Episode 5: Issa’s first time with Daniel
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Despite his chocolate skin and brilliant smile, I was never Team Daniel (Y’lan Noel). However, I could see the writing on the wall as the tension unfolded between episode 1 and episode 5 of Insecure’s first season leading to Issa (Issa Rae) cheating on her long-time love Lawrence (Jay Ellis) for the seemingly ambitious, charismatic Daniel who seemed like the one who got away. As soon as Daniel and Issa ended up running down a video of her on the internet and somehow ended up alone in the studio by the end of the episode, I knew what time it was. Plus sir told her things she thought she always wanted to hear from him, about being ready, so I knew the panties would drop shortly thereafter. And that they did.
Points for Issa trying to resist, but that kiss was only the beginning of a few things between Daniel King and Issa Dee. What unfolded was an indulgent gratuitous love scene that started on the couch, ended up on the floor, and also acted as the first sex scene we got on the show. For that reason, it rightfully earns this spot on our list.
Honorable Mention: The brief flashbacks we got of the scene in the episode that came after. Whew.
Season 2, Episode 1: Issa and Lawrence’s ex-sex
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The sophomore season of Insecure started off with a bang, literally. In a moment of high emotions and confusion, Lawerence and Issa engaged in 30 seconds of passion remembering what was between them sexually. The blue couch that saw no action in the first season suddenly got a taste of what could be again as Lawrence and Issa gave into their indulgences and made a messy breakup somewhat messier. I found the ex-sex slip-up to be very realistic, especially in situations where closure hasn’t happened yet and there’s still a desire to be together. Though not one of the steamier love scenes featured in the series, it still holds a lot of weight because it was so damn relatable.
Honorable Mention: Earlier in the episode, a brief spooning sex exchange played between Lawrence and Tasha. So good he had her saying “daddy with a ‘z.’”
Season 2, Episode 3: Issa has sex with Neighbor Bae
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Speaking of relatability, the very next sex scene between Issa and Neighbor Bae (Leon Thomas III) was also on point for that reason. Neighbor Bae, also known on the show as Eddie, made a couple of appearances before becoming a sometimes-y hookup for Issa and he was just what the doctor ordered in terms of helping her enter her “hoe phase” and get Lawrence’s recent dick-me-down out of sight and out of mind. During a somewhat lengthy scene, Issa and Eddie were able to work through the sometimes awkward reality of sex (especially first-time sex with someone new) by finding a position that worked for them and communicating along the way.
Sometimes the first new fuck after a breakup is the hardest. And what we saw was no-strings-attached sex between two consenting adults and it was great to see Issa get back in the game. As she exits his apartment, she receives a message from a dating app and reads it with a smile, showing the audience that she is single and officially ready to mingle. Dating roster and all.
Season 2, Episode 4: Lawrence has a threesome
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Yeah, no comment on the actual threesome, but I will say I really appreciate the moments throughout the series where I could see the contrast between the “masculinity” Lawrence was trying to portray to the world versus the man he wanted to be (also of note, he is also navigating his own version of getting over his breakup). With his homeboy Chad (Neil Brown Jr.), there were instances in the series where Lawrence would just do something to get his approval but not necessarily because it was something he would feel good about in the end. Case in point, this threesome. But it also took me back to a scene earlier in the season where they are looking for a place together and Chad expresses being excited that Lawrence is shedding his “good guy” ways. So that was an interesting continuation of that theme.
Season 2, Episode 5: Molly has sex with Dro
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In terms of what she wanted, Molly always had a hard time practicing what she preached in matters of the heart. That was no different in how she moved in her situationship with Dro (Sarunas J. Jackson). I knew from the minute they first interacted on-screen that she’d end up letting him in sexually and emotionally, especially because she was not feeling ole dude that was good on paper (Sterling K. Brown). When the illusion she had of her parents’ picture-perfect marriage shattered, it was only a matter of time before she’d stray from her checklist and find herself underneath a man with whom she had no future as an act of self-sabotage.
As soon as he walked her to the door, we knew what time it was. He tried to walk away but Molly grabbed him by the hand and gave him a look that asked him to stay. And underneath Dro is exactly where she found herself at the end of the episode, leading to a series of trysts between the two that would continue throughout the remainder of the season.
Season 2, Episode 6: Issa, Daniel, and the infamous facial
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I know the moment of the climax is the most talked-about aspect of this particular scene, but Daniel emitting that breathy moan when he first starts getting head? Yes. And him sinking into the couch before closing his eyes? Absolutely. And the attention to detail of holding her head closer to take more of “him” in when he is about to climax? Abso-fucking-lutely. To be frank, Issa’s dramatization following said unsolicited facial kind of killed what Daniel’s orgasm was doing for me, but still, I loved that we were able to get a sex scene where oral was more of the focus.
Honorable Mention: The intimate connection Molly and Dro have between them gets the visual treatment with a quick transition into them spooning.
Season 3, Episode 1: Boundaries are a thing
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Nothing super intense or indulgent played out in this episode as far as sex scenes go, instead, it seemed to be planting seeds and establishing dynamics based on where people were in their lives. Boundaries also seemed to be an important theme, as both Molly and Issa navigated situations with men who had feelings for them (and they too had feelings for) but men they also didn’t necessarily want to get themselves too caught up on because of the mess history alluded to be on the other side.
Honorable Mention(s): There is an opening scene where Daniel is attempting to make Issa jealous or at least painfully aware of what she’s missing out on by having loud sex with someone else. The slow pan across Daniel’s body was cinematography for the books. Also, loved that brief intermission of oral between Dro and Molly where she was sitting on the counter and he was nestled in between her legs, the emphasis was placed on her pleasure. I personally loved this scene because it felt like a parallel for where they were in their situationship. Molly was in a place where she was intent upon laying out her boundaries and as the episode played out (as well as the demise of their dealings), the two were fighting for control. And by the end, they both retreated and a white flag was raised.
Season 3, Episode 3: The Issa and Daniel sex scene that never came to be
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After a disappointing setback involving another producer, Daniel lashed out at Issa and called her out on some shit even though Issa’s line of questioning was perfectly on point. It resulted in a shutting down between both parties. Later that night though while laying together silently in bed, Daniel attempted to initiate sex with Issa. At first, she seemed to give in to his kisses and even seemed open to him eating her out, but instead of going backward with him again like we thought she would, Issa pumped the brakes and didn’t give in to the temptation because she knew the reality was, she couldn’t entertain Daniel in that way. The body is weak but the heart and mind were stronger.
Personally, I was relieved af. He’s fine but Daniel was one of the most emotionally immature men Issa had dealt with and I felt like their paths stopped and stalled so often for a reason.
Honorable Mention: The “good morning oral sex” fantasy Issa had with Daniel involved extra spicy Hot Cheetos and some diligent head game.
Season 3, Episode 5: Issa and Nathan on the Ferris wheel
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I felt the chemistry between Issa and Nathan (Kendrick Sampson) as soon as he dropped her taco earlier on in the season so when they reunited again during Coachella, I was like immediately yes. I never knew I would need a sex scene such as this, but everything from the cool-toned lighting to the Ferris wheel setting made this a contender for one of the best sex scenes on Insecure (for me). The lead-up conversation where Nathan made Issa feel seen and supported (another reason why I like him around for her character) added to how their first time played out. Issa pulled him in for a kiss, got onto his lap, and the rest was history.
I loved Nathan’s attention to her nipple (a detail we don’t often see, especially from the main actors) and when he told her to show him how much she wanted him, I understood why sis had no choice but to put her panties to the side and pull him into an impromptu ride.
Season 4, Episode 1: Issa and her TSA cut buddy
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After Nathan dropped the ball by turning into Ghost Bae, we are introduced to one of Issa’s next hookups at the beginning of the series’ fourth season. TSA Bae (Reggie Conquest) was putting in work and I lived for the thick fellas getting some love on the show and showing some nudity on top of that. Here for it! I also loved the nod to the sometimes underrated nature of how people look at missionary. As Issa classically said following their tryst, “Church is always in the answer.”
Honorable Mention: We got a glimpse into Lawrence and Condola’s (Christina Elmore) bedroom in this episode too, and I’ll just add it to the very short list of ways I felt did Lawrence and Condola wrong. The energy was just not…there.
Season 4, Episode 2: Issa and TSA Bae lose the condom
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TSA Bae gets another quickie in as Issa’s go-to cut buddy at the start of this season. I personally loved seeing such diversity in love interests in this show, from size to race, which is why some of the fourth season’s love scenes stand out to me. This orgasm-inducing scene between Issa and TSA Bae in particular even added some butt playto the mix. Initially, Issa is shown positioned over the side of the bed while TSA Bae is thrusting out Issa’s “stress.” After she orgasms, they switch to a modified missionary position so he can get his. Sir respectfully requests that Issa press his “button” during to intensify his climax. Here. For. It.
Honorable Mention: Take the cake Andrew (Alexander Hodge), take the cake. IYKYK.
Season 4, Episode 7: Andrew and Molly’s vacation sex
Merie W. Wallace/HBO
On their first couple’s baecation, Andrew and Molly prioritize experimenting. Our first taste of that was when Andrew snuck his hand beneath her blanket while in the air. An easy life hack for joining the Mile High Club without joining the Mile High Club. The conversation about what they like and want to explore continues when they enter their hotel room and bring out the toys they decided to try on the trip. Molly says she knows she likes the fingering sesh from on the plane and wants to try the balcony. They take it outside where Andrew thrusts into her while holding her neck and the beauty of Puerto Vallarta surrounds them.
Honorable Mention: Molly taps into her dominant side later when she slides that thang up to Andrew’s face while he’s blindfolded. She does this before instructing Andrew to eat her ass. He humbly obliges.
Season 4, Episode 8: Issa and Lawrence reunite for real, for real this time
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I felt this reunion in my soul. Even though it was a reunion I didn’t know I was going to get, the combination of the real conversations they had and the body-to-body connection they were able to reignite by the end of the episode was everything. Lawrence and Issa were introduced as a couple at the beginning of the series and lost their way due to Issa cheating on him with Daniel. It was great to see that down the road, both of them were able to make peace with their contributions to the demise of the relationship and take accountability for their actions. It was also beautiful to note that Condola was a catalyst in Lawrence seeing something through that he might have always had a question mark about since it was shown to viewers that he was ready to marry Issa back in the first season. From the second they kissed, it seemed that they were finally coming home to each other where they had become better people and were in a better place. Coming together after falling apart.
Honorable Mention(s): Technically, the Lawrence and Issa sex montage happens at the start of the next episode but due to it being the only sex scene in episode 9, I’ll just place it here. The fact that all of the sex between the couple happened on or against his couch was a nice nod to previous episodes where a couch has seemed central to their shared intimacy.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.https://www.xonecole.com/best-insecure-sex-scenes/season-1-episode-5-issas-first-time-with-daniel
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How does one get into TouHou enough to rp? I love the designs I just dk where to start
Okay so, this is going to be a long answer. I would like to say that it's a simple one, but it really isn't given just how old the Touhou series is and how much media there is surrounding it both official and fanmade. So hopefully I can help walk you through things.
More under the readmore.
So, you say that you like the character designs. Which one? I think this is an important question to ask first. Which character is it that draws your attention? Because if you can figure that out, then it'll become easier to get into the series.
Touhou is a 25 year old series with 20+ games under its belt, not to mention the manga, novels, and independent music soundtracks. While this sounds incredibly daunting, I promise you that getting into the series isn't that bad if you start small. And there's absolutely no rush to learn everything about the official lore before you start RP'ing.
See, Touhou is very much kept afloat by its fanbase that creates numerous types of fanworks ranging from doujinshi manga, games, fanfics, fanart, and just about anything else you can think of. Due to the vagueness of the writing in Touhou, this usually leads to the fans filling in those holes with their own headcanons which the creator ZUN, is 100% supportive of as long as you follow his guidelines.
(The guidelines are real simple. Just don't post video game endings, or create fanworks that depict stuff that could be considered illegal in a real life situation.)
Anyway, because a lot of fanmade Touhou content runs on fanon, it's perfectly fine if you can't get the character down to canon in your first RP experience. Touhou fans are usually laid back about that kind of stuff, and if they're not, ignore them. Explore Touhou in your own time and use your own judgement when creating your character.
So, now that I've told you all this I want to go back to my original question. Is there a character you like? Because if there is, then my best advice would be to hop on over to the Touhou Wiki to look them up and see what official sources they appear in.
Of course it never hurts to also look at fanworks for inspiration, but I must warn you. If you're new to the Touhou fandom and are coming from another Western fandom then you may be a bit shocked. Some people can be into some... things you may not like.
It's an unfortunate fact of being a Touhou fan that you're going to run into unfavorable stuff when searching for fanworks on image boards and the like. It may take some time to learn how to avoid them but it's really easy to figure it out and curate your own space.
The main thing to remember when you run into something that you think might be gross or uncomfortable is to stop, don't freak out, and click off the page.
In the end, Touhou is about creativity freedom and that pretty much extends to everyone who's interested in the series. So don't stress too much about trying to get the character 100% right on your first try. For the most part you can meet people will be supportive of your portrayal and continue to be as you improve.
I hope any or all of this helps! Happy RP'ing! o/
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head under water 5 and 13?
5. What part was hardest to write?
there were several parts in this fic that i had to write and re-write three or four times because they just did NOT feel right and i could not figure out how to fix them, but i think the part where i got the most stuck is the chunk from right after the new year's eve call through when they actually get onto matthew's bed following the next game. that sex scene came quite easily (the only sex scene i really struggled with is the one at the beginning of chapter 4, when matthew first goes to leon's house -- the correct vibes were weirdly hard to nail down) but that section between NYE and the postgame sex? woof, i struggled. spent SEVERAL phone calls with a pal stomping through the woods by my apartment building whining about how i was so stuck i would surely never figure it out. (spoiler: i did figure it out!!)
13. What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?
unlike most of my writing projects, i didn't have one go-to writing playlist for this one, just because my mood jumped around a lot throughout the writing process. i listened to a lot of pop punk (lots of taking back sunday and new found glory, a little wonder years and waterparks) for the first half and then kind of transitioned to some slightly softer feelingsy music (phoebe bridgers, kississippi, bleachers, rilo kiley, LOTS of tegan and sara, a lil jimmy eat world), and a couple of sex playlists for writing the pornography portions of the manuscript, although sometimes for those i would just put heat waves/i wanna be yours/fire for you on a three-song repeat for an hour, lol. the one constant song i kept listening to from inception to posting was "ruin my life" by zara larsson, which remains a foundational matthew/leon song for me.
i did make an "official" soundtrack, which is made of songs from the various playlists i used while writing it! i had to do some serious curating to get it to a reasonable length though 😅
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Fic Writer QnA
Took this from @spacebuck. Check out theirs here :)
How many wips do you have currently?
OK so if we take the definition of WIP to be "all the ideas I have a started something with but never finished" and include the ones i think i'm neevr going to do anything with, here's what we have: - 12 for BG3 with my Tav. Ranging across all 3 acts, just little scenarios and shenanigans. - 1 for Cyberpunk 2077, about the epilogue. - 10 for Genshin. Including, Aebedo, Kazuther, Yunluc, Kavetham, Diluc and the Mondstadt kids. - 1 for Hades 2. Icarus/Melinoe where Icarus goes back to the crossroads. Which makes a grand total of 24 ! Oh my fucking gods, I had never counted before gsdlfuih BONUS: if we also count the ideas where I created a word document but never actually wrote anything, we have 2 more, and they're both Genshin (xiaomiya, kazubedo).
Which one are you finding the hardest to finish?
WELL a lot of them were abandoned very early on and I will probably never come back to them,, ever. So I won't be counting those. From the ones I intend to come back to though, I'd say Diluc and the Mondstadt kids. It's been sitting for months, I just have a mental block somewhere. I love them dearly but I can't find the right way to portray what I want. (I'm not even sure what I want ;-;)
What does it usually look like when inspiration strikes for you?
I write non-stop, I just let it all out and don't even reread it or whatever I just pour it all out and will make it make sense later. I love those moments, I'm usually so hyped up when that happens. Ad if I'm not able to write, I just send myself a message to keep the ideas somewhere but it probably won't leave my mind until i come back home to my PC to write.
Do you curate playlists for each fic or is your process different?
Absolutely not, I just put on whatever. Or no music, that works best if I can't find something that fits the headspace I'm in. OR in specific cases, it's the same song on loop. For the first part of my fic Daisy, I actually listened to the HSR soundtrack Deep Within on loop for a few hours kdjfghs
Do you go balls to the wall and write as you go or are you more organized?
lmao balls to the wall! I generally have an idea of what I want to happen and then I let the keyboard do the talking. I'm not usually a long fic type of guy, so I can make it work. For my original novel tho, I have character sheets, I have folders full of references, pictures, charts, maps, relationship trees, fictional language dictionaries, lore dumps and outline of each region of the world the main crew's going to visit with what events occur there, etc. World building my beloved <3
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Are there any songs that remind you of your muse and/or get you into the mood to reply?
OUT OF WIDOW !!
there are songs that makes me think of natasha but not so much remind me of her in the "this is so natasha!" sense. the songs that make up the character playlist which can be found here are more so songs that movie soundtrack would have. so while listening to a song i try to imagine it being played during a specific comic scene or i just try to imagine natasha in a movie with it, if i can then i toss it into the playlist that it fits into. that's really is how i curate all of the playlists i have for her. and that's also the way i go about making my otp / ship playlists as well. i used to make otp playlists constantly but then the muns of said ships dropped me out of the blue so i stopped making playlists. i will admit, i feel like i have way too many playlists for natasha, comic runs and ships etc. i only just started getting back into adding music to them again and i once again realized how fun i find the whole thing. i also very recently got back into listening to music while writing replies, something i used to do a lot a few years ago. i've been struggling to connect my muse with words so it seems like music has helped with forming words and getting replies done. now the question is: how long will this last?
mun questions ➢ always accepting
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Soundtrack of My Life: 2020 (Mid-Year)
In my junior year of high school, I enrolled in a honors creative writing course called ‘Search for Self.’ The class helped students discover personal identity, meaning and purpose through a series of creative writing prompts and literature. A few solid reads that I recall from this class include A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, The Snows of Kilimanjaro and The Pearl. My favorite assignment that came out of this class was one called ‘Soundtrack of My Life.’ Each student was asked to curate a music album composed of 10 select songs and write a paragraph for each song about its context to your life. It was an assignment that really complemented my “ikigai” and I’ve made a conscious effort to continue doing this assignment periodically over the years. Music is one of the few constants in my life and best illustrates my mental health and headspace in that time and moment. After nearly a decade, it is refreshing to go back and review the different genres of songs I was feeling during that time in my life, as well as which songs have truly stayed with me and still remain in my ‘top 10.’
Bullet Train Fantasy by Ibrahim and Luvbird Considered as part of the “chillhop” lofi family, this song is perfect for one of those days when your head is in the clouds. It is very much a song that I can imagine myself listening to while riding the Shinkansen bullet train while casually eating a bento box and sipping an iced green tea. The past few months have all blurred together and sort of feels like riding a bullet train with no destination in sight (think Snowpiercer). The question in all of our minds is just when will the train stop and we’ll be finally let out to breathe?
“From Now On (앞으로)” by Kim Min Seung (김민승) When shelter-in-place first took place, it had me (along with many others I’m sure) spiral down into a dark rabbit hole of binge watching K-dramas. The first drama I binged was ‘Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo,’ which stars Lee Syung-Kung and Nam Joo Hyuk. Highly recommend this one to anybody looking for a lightweight drama as it is an innocently adorable, quirky and easily consumable slice of life series. “From Now On” was one of the drama’s main theme song that brought an upbeat and optimistic energy whatever scene it was overlaid over. I can confirm that my mood definitely perks whenever I hear it playing!
“Heartburn (Jarami Remix)” by Wafia Very few people know this about me but I actually suffered from constant heartburn during my adolescent years. I never had it diagnosed but my assumption was that the pulses were triggered by a poor diet and lack of exercise. It has since disappeared but was always a mystery to me growing up and I’d always ask myself, “Tell me, why does my heart burn this way?” That being said this time around the relapse is a different sort of heartburn.
“Yummy (Summer Walker Remix)” by Justin Bieber Seriously, don’t even bother asking. I am ashamed to say how weirdly obsessed I am with this song because it’s just so…damn… catchy. And yes, I am well aware that the lyrics are horrendous and the meaning behind the song is pretty disturbing. I do think I gain a few redemption points since I prefer the Summer Walker Remix over the original. Summer’s voice adds just a touch of sophistication and balances an otherwise repetitive song.
“Airplane Mode” by Younha I first heard this song in 2019 but it has since resurfaced. This song helped me build a deeper connection with a person who had a completely different taste in literally everything than me. It was truly a monumental moment to be able to identify commonality. I truly value the importance of turning on airplane mode both literally and figuratively. The song reminds me to disconnect from my phone which seems to be spewing nothing but bad news across the world recently as well as investing in self-care time. A minute detail, but I love how the intro to the song starts with the raw shutter sound of a DSLR camera.
“Crashin” by Saint Wknd & Dirty Radio If there was a song that gives me all the “start of summer” feels, it would be this one. This song had already convinced me that this summer was going to be an amazing one and surprisingly, it was! When I listen to this song, I feel as if I’m ready to go somewhere and gives me the confidence and swagger to go about my everyday routine. If you see me walking around with a bit more pep to my stride, chances are I’m probably listening to this song.
“Paper Hearts” by Tori Kelly I first heard of Tori Kelly from her “Rocketeer” cover with AJ Rafael way back in the day before her rise to fame. From that cover alone, I was sold and convinced that she would eventually blow up. I love Tori’s angelic voice and she’s one of the few artists that sound just as good live (if not better) as online. Last year, I organized at a dance series workshop and the choreographer chose this song which made me fall in love with it. The choreography felt very fitting with the lyrics and definitely challenged the class to “feel” the song more and be more interpretive with the movements.
“If You Were Here I’d be Okay” by David Choi This was one of those songs that I distinctly remember binge listening to in the car during my adolescent years. It would give me the energy to get me through the morning grind (clearly this was before I discovered coffee). I’ve recently been on a mission to clean out my files and just happened to stumble across this song amongst my old journal entries. To this day, I’m still shocked that this song didn’t blow and gain the recognition it deserved. The only live video I could find of David performing this song is here – check it out. (skip to 1:18)
“Less of You” by Keshi Yes, yet another lofi song has made my top 10 list! I love all of Keshi’s songs but this one in particular really captures the rawness of his voice which is complimented with the guitar instrumental. There is a sentimental quality to the undertones that really add to the “pain” of the song that is very relatable. I would also like to call out the looping gif on Spotify of this song because it’s truly a mood.
“The Space Between” by Cleopold I find myself more often than I’d like to admit “dancing in the space between” in my everyday life. It can be difficult to get out of and I find it a major blocker when it comes to decision making. Sometimes it works in my favor but other times it doesn’t. This song was perhaps one of the first songs that I started listening to towards the beginning of the year and it gets my juices flowing which is perfect for a good run outside of home workout.
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Getting through the second to last chapter of the wip! I started working inward from both ends today and although the middle is still pretty sketchy and I have a lot of decisions to make about the first unfinished section, I have a pretty good idea what my options are. Probably won't finish it tomorrow, the weekend seems more likely.
The last chapter still has one little gap which I'm intentionally not working on, both so I can stop myself from posting the last two chapters in rapid succession, and because it needs more thought.
Thinking of making a playlist to go with the last chapter but I haven't been thrilled with the platforms I've attempted to use for fandom playlists in the past. YouTube is clumsy and bothersome and you risk things disappearing due to copyright strike, and Spotify I have found lacking in the songs I want to include, especially anime soundtracks, but also just slightly obscure songs I would have thought they had.
I don't think Bandcamp has playlist functionality? I might check to be sure, but the best option might turn out to be a self curated list of links or something, so I can include different platforms, or I guess just a GDrive folder? Not sure if it will actually happen at all tbh.
Anyway I hope to complete the fic in the next couple weeks! After that I only have vague plans. Might write a timestamp for like a decade post-redemption or so, or get caught up by another surprise idea, or I might get called upon to be a pinch hitter for the exchange, or I might get my novel back! Only time will tell.
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