#and i will go back to writing and curating a soundtrack :)
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sad because it’s been awhile since i’ve written my fic (which i’m so excited for) but i never feel like i have enough time to actually write
#van der stoffels#vds#yes i’m still on this#yes i’m still obsessed#i think this is what happens when u move back home with ur parents for the summer#and have to work around their schedules#otherwise the fic wouod be done by now#and i’ve been oddly sad the last few days#i think i’m just having some mentally low days#it’s okay#it too shall pass#and i will go back to writing and curating a soundtrack :)#jens stoffels#lucas van der heijden#wtfock#skam nl#vds fic#ao3 fic
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ninjamuffin newgrounds post!
tl;dr
fuck ads!! use adblocker whenever you can!!
the crew tries to make fnf as ad-free as possible, not just the game but where you download it- it's why it's on itch/newgrounds and not anywhere that offers ad revenue
that being said, fnf mobile will likely have a free version which... will have ads. they will try not to make the ads too obnoxious
(there will be an ad-free paid version too!)
extra note from me, not the post: if you're an android user you totally shouldn't use youtube revanced and purpletv or anything for mobile youtube and twitch adblockers. it would be such a hindrance to the advertisers. ha ha
full post copied below ⬇️
greetings and merry xmas newgrounds
on my brain for a very long time has been advertisements. Something about ads that stick in my brain ever since I came across this little thing from Lichess.
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In due time, unfortunately this post will become a bit hypocritical, as we will eventually publish FNF onto mobile, and that will very likely have a free ad supported version. Hopefully that doesn't undermine my thoughts too much, however FNF is more than just me and my brain! Not everything I say goes in terms of FNF decisions! So with all that being said, let me begin shouting about everything I hate about ads.
I use adblocker on everything, and you should too. UBlock Origin has been my reliable go to. Online ads are especially an insidious breed. I'll try not to be some tinfoil hat, but I do often wonder what the internet would look like if the online ad model *wasn't* fruitful back in the early days of the internet. Would Facebook, Google, etc. have an arms race to the bottom to get infinite amounts of data on every single person ever? Would social media algorithms optimize for a different experience other than *spend as much time as possible on our site*? Ads have existed before Youtube, Google, internet though. They exist on TV, on subways and buses, on radio, in newspapers. I think for the most part my deep hatred of ads is for online kind, I do think there can be "irl" ads that I find very unpleasant. Going on a subway or sitting at a bus stop, I think people deserve more dignity from their city public transit than to have something sold to them! I don't think an ad free life should be only reserved for those who can pay for spotify premium, youtube red, etc. I think everyone should be entitled to that DIGNITY.
X (the everything app, formerly Twitter ) has a Premium subscription that costs 10$/month (CAD), and they will only give you *half* the ads in your feed. How generous of them. I will be dramatic, and say that I look at ads with disgust. I hope to think I'm somewhat justified, as most ads look like dogshit, and are pretty worthless.
For a very long time (and currently, as of writing/posting) FNF has been entirely ad free. We did stand up to putting it on other web portals that offer ads and ad payments/rev share, because we do somewhat want to be part of the change we'd like to see in the world. We want to believe in a world where someone can put out a free game on itch/newgrounds, and have the development be supported purely off donations (which FNF was supported by that in the early days / first 6 months of development!). We definitely could have made much MUCH more money if we put FNF on websites that offer ad rev share, but we didn't, and I hope that doesn't fall on deaf ears.
However we do promote our own things from within the game, Kickstarter, merch, etc. I suppose I'm less upset or even thinking about that, I think there's a big difference if we had a lil Kickstarter trailer in-game that played, opposed to having an in-game advertisement for some fuckass mobile game or some cosmetics or somethin. We specifically are still curating what we are putting in the game with our lil links to merch, kickstarter, etc.
We also provide the soundtrack on Spotify / streaming services, which do indeed get money from ads. I think I'm so detatched from Spotify ads and being angry at them, since I've been spotify premium user even at the brokest poorest in my life... i need them album downloads!!! I do think that's an aspect where there is an adfree alternative, which is Bandcmap, where you can listen to the FNF OST as much as you want, and if you pay some coin, you can download it in high quality!
My thoughts on FNF mobile with ads is that they will make me very unhappy and deeply sad. I do sincerely apologize to those of you who would be unable to play FNF on anything other than a mobile device, and aren't able to get the full mobile version, so you become punished with ads. We do hope to not be obnoxious with mobile ads. If you have a computer, even a shitty busted one that runs slow, I personally hope you end up compiling the mobile version yourself to get past ads. The thought of that lets me rest easier just a little bit. The FNF will be proudly open source forever.
There will also be a paid version of FNF mobile, that will have no ads. Pay for that one if you please.
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a promise is a promise
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summary: sliding into a stranger's dm's, nostalgia for your first date, and a promise sealed with a kiss + a little insta au at the end 💙
words: 1,071
a/n: my first time writing for mr. leclerc! thank you for the req, @headinthecloudssblog 🫶🏼 tagging @vamossainz55, @sainzcaleruega, @monzabee, @formulaforza, @thatsdemko, and @diorleclerc because i trust you all deeply. feedback is much appreciated as always. hugs and kisses!
Charles loved Adele and he sure wasn't shy about it. While the other racing drivers were hyping themselves up with rock, EDM, or rap, the Monegasque’s AirPods (which he often lost) were blaring “Someone Like You.” You, yourself, wondered how the powerful yet melancholy ballad could put him in the right headspace to drive at breathtaking speeds of up to 362 km/h.
You were nothing short of euphoric when it was announced that she would be extending her exclusive residency in Las Vegas. It would be a dream come true if you could see her live during the weekend of the Las Vegas Grand Prix. However, a bitter reality crept in when you discovered the final show was scheduled for November 4, a mere two weeks before the two of you would arrive stateside. Charles would be racing at Interlagos, while you would be stuck at a clinical genetics conference in St Andrews.
“I was going to get us tickets to thank you for your service in the Great War!” You huffed as you watched Charles tie the laces of his Puma running shoes, visibly let down by the news. All of your friends thought the racing driver had used his F1 connections to get you those coveted floor seats, but they couldn’t have been more wrong. Your boyfriend had spent 18 hours in a virtual queue on one of his few days off, using multiple of his sim racing monitors to secure tickets to the Eras Tour. Arthur had mocked his older brother about how “whipped” he was, joking that he was relieved someone else’s screen time was as horrific as his own.
With a light kiss on your neck, Charles wrapped his arms around you from behind, his voice filled with affection. "It’s like this, ma chérie. I'm going for a run with Andrea," he whispered. As he headed towards the door, his shoulders slumped and his AirPods in, it became clear today's run would be more of a recovery run, a moment for him to recharge physically but more so emotionally.
Determined to bring Charles closer to his idol, you swiftly grabbed your phone from the kitchen island and opened Adele's Instagram profile. Sliding into someone's DMs had never been your style, let alone that of a Grammy-winning artist, but you figured there was nothing to lose.
"Hi, this is Y/N. I know it's unlikely that you'll ever see this, but I'm taking a leap of faith for my boyfriend Charles, who is undoubtedly your biggest fan. Our first date perfectly encapsulates his essence," you began typing, a wave of nostalgia washing over you. "He took me on the most gorgeous twilight yacht ride, accompanied by a meticulously curated playlist of his favorite songs. Upbeat songs like 'A Sky Full of Stars,' 'Pepas,' and 'Feel So Close' filled the air. But then, out of nowhere, a hauntingly beautiful piano melody began to play."
Pausing for a moment, a reminiscent smile graced your face as the memory came roaring back to life. "'Is this Adele?'" you had asked, a glass of rosé in your hand. Charles looked so at peace compared to the tense expression he sometimes wore during race weekends. He had offered you his blue Ferrari sweatshirt to ward off the evening chill and confirmed that it was indeed Adele. Charles shared that he, unlike most, found comfort in what he deemed “depressive music.”
Since that fateful evening, the British songstress' music had become an integral part of your relationship. It served as the soundtrack to your road trips, where you took turns belting ‘Rolling in the Deep.’ It sparked heated debates about whether Adele’s ‘Daydreamer’ or Sade’s ‘By Your Side’ should be your first dance song. It even led to late nights, downing espresso shots just so you could listen to her latest album the second it dropped.
You reached for your phone once again. "That night ended with Charles’ hand resting on my thigh as he drove me home to 'Make You Feel My Love.’ Your music has been the soundtrack to so many of our most intimate moments, and it would mean the world if you could find some time to perform for him," you typed, pouring your heart into the message. You added, "I know this is a long shot, but I..." before eagerly hitting the "Send" button. With a growing sense of accomplishment, you decided to run to the grocery store to pick up some fresh salmon for dinner.
Unable to keep a secret to save your life, you shared what you’d been up to with Charles. "You DM'd the queen? Je t'aime, ma belle, but I highly doubt she'll reply," he playfully teased, rolling his eyes as he wiped the dish you had just handed him.
"What if she does?" you retorted, a hint of hope in your voice. "You know how I treasure you so much I don’t even trust myself to take you on a hot lap? We’ll do it in Las Vegas if and only if Adele responds." His devilish Leclerc wink accompanied the mischievous remark, leaving you to wonder how this crazy turn of events would unfold.
Weeks passed, and with each passing day, the likelihood of a reply dwindled. Charles was away in Qatar when the doorbell unexpectedly rang. A courier stood before you, holding a grand bouquet of white roses along with a message card. Assuming it was from him, your hands trembled as you read the sign-off on the ivory white card. There it was, unmistakably etched in the most elegant script. Five letters. Adele.
You snatched the card eagerly and read it over countless times, overcome with disbelief. It turned out that Adele's devoted fan base had made her very much aware of Charles' fanboying. She expressed her delight and confirmed that she would be more than happy to sing a few songs for you over dinner so long as she could score some “cool mom points” and bring her son Angelo to the race.
Your hands trembled with sheer excitement as you shared the spectacular news with Charles. He blamed his nonexistent allergies as tears welled up in his eyes, but you saw right through his lies.
"So, you'll be taking me on that hot lap, Leclerc?" you grinned, blissed out seeing him so happy. "Bah oui, une promesse est une promesse," he replied, sealing his vow with a well-earned kiss.
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liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, and 61,616 others
yourusername: weekends with adele (and charles) 🎰🍸❤️
fan1: “it’s true that, after a bad day, if you listen to that, you cry. you don’t feel any better. but i like it. i like the mood of depressive music.” - chuck leclerc
charles_leclerc: i have the best girlfriend in the world! tu est simplement la meilleure ❤️
adele: she’s one of a kind! thank you for letting me bear witness to your love x
yourusername: you, sir, are the love of my life. thanks for tolerating my impulsivity!
fan2: i need a charles and adele collab and i need it NOW 😤
joris_trouche: he’ll never shut up about this
charles_leclerc: prepare to be sick of me! wait, you and @andferrari007 already are 🫣
scuderiaferrari: c² music challenge but adele songs only?
carlossainz55: why play when i don’t even stand a chance 🤨
#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x y/n#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc edit#charles leclerc#f1 x you#charles leclerc fluff#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fic#f1 instagram au#charles leclerc one shot#charles leclerc instagram edit#charles leclerc blurb#charles leclerc au#charles leclerc drabble
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BEAUTIFUL STRANGER
pairing: hwang hyunjin x gender neutral reader
description: a beautiful stranger shakes up your once boring and repetitive morning commute on the train.
word count: 3.4k
also available to read on my ao3 here
author’s note: hello! i’m no stranger to writing, but i’m definitely a stranger when it comes to writing for idols. this is the first time i’ve ever done so, and who better to write for than my ultimate bias hyunjin? stray kids is my favorite group, so i’d like to write more content for them in the future. thank you to my pookie wookie lills (YES, we unironically call each other pookie, it’s our thing) for beta reading, and i hope you enjoy <3
soundtrack: beautiful stranger, enchanted
tags: @solefleurs @heavenfilm @5sos-wdw @todorokiskitten @rylea08 @br3anna-nels0n @hyunjinloverrrr
taglist form here
you always found an array of characters during your morning commute on the paris metro. there’d always be locals, some on their way to work or home just like you. amongst the locals were tourists decked out in overpriced souvenirs specifically curated for suckers like them. at night, there were drunks who thankfully were smart enough not to drive. the reek of alcohol on them wasn’t that amusing, you must admit.
despite the variety of people you could see passing by on your commutes, it grew boring. always the same thing every single day. not even the music playing in your headphones or the book you brought with you that day could make time go faster. it’s not like it would be any better once you got off the train either. your life was incredibly dull and repetitive. if only something could serve as a change of pace.
to think that your life had become boring in a place like paris of all places. it’s the city of love, is it not? even if you were created out of love and born in a city all about that concept, you had none of it. maybe that’s why you felt this way. no matter how many times you pass the same streets or enter the same train station, you had yet to find the one thing everyone seemed to look for so easily here.
you had basically given up at this point, committed to living an empty life where all you did was work, eat, sleep, then repeat. it’s what most people do in other countries anyway, might as well join the party. the second you had fully lost all hope, however, was when you saw the most beautiful stranger on the train. you almost wanted to slap yourself for being so pessimistic before.
you walked onto the train with the expectation of just sitting around until you got to your stop. as you walked to your usual seat, that’s where you found your beautiful stranger, sitting in the seat right across from the one you sat in every single day without fail.
you knew you had never seen him before. you take this train almost every damn day, so who was he? had he just moved here? was he a tourist? where’s the “i love paris” shirt and the eiffel tower keychain made of shitty plastic? instead, he was dressed like someone meant to be on billboards and magazines. surely had the face to fit the bill too. he was undoubtedly breathtaking, and he ultimately captivated you upon first sight.
it was pathetic how you hesitated to sit down. he didn’t seem to waver, looking down at his phone. from the reflection of his sunglasses—yes, you were that curious—he seemed to be swiping through photos. you assumed they were ones he had taken around the city. paris was definitely filled with photo opportunities, so you couldn’t blame him for that one. it’ll look good on anyone’s instagram feed.
you try your best to make yourself look occupied. shuffling through your bag to find a book, the rummaging sounds catch the attention of your beautiful stranger. your eyes meet for a brief moment when you turn your body to lean back in your seat with a book in hand. despite how quick the moment was, you swore your heart dropped the second you caught his gaze.
oh god, was this the excitement you had been waiting for? you couldn’t mistake it as anything else. leave it up to you to fall for a stranger upon first sight, but who cares? finally, finally, your life had begun to be painted in color. even if it was just for a moment, you’d savor this one train ride that actually seemed worthwhile for once in your life.
you steal glances at him every so often, praying he wouldn’t catch you and make you feel embarrassed for staring. you just couldn’t help yourself, he was like a walking renaissance painting. actually, you don’t even think da vinci would be capable of capturing the essence of someone who looked like a real-life prince.
the moment you knew you had reached your stop, you wished you could glue yourself to your seat so you had no choice but to stay on the train with your beautiful stranger a little longer. as much as you wanted to, you simply couldn’t, having no choice but to say goodbye without actually saying a word at all.
it was silly to think a stranger on the train could change your life in an instant. still, you were grateful for the temporary change of pace. if only you could thank him somehow, but alas, you knew you had no chance of seeing him again.
•••
the next day, you found your beautiful stranger again, this time sketching down something in a sketchbook. you caught him looking at everyone who walked onto the train, and when it was finally your turn to step on, he actually smiled once he laid eyes on you. it all felt like you were dreaming. if this was cloud nine, then you had finally reached it.
when you walked over to your seat across from his, you noticed he clutched the sketchbook close to his chest, almost like he didn’t want you to see what he was drawing. you were too shy to speak up and spark a conversation with him anyway, so it wasn’t like you would pry. still, you were curious to know what was on the page.
it pained you knowing you lacked any courage. you found you were better off acting like you were interested in your book, on a random page as you were too in your head to actually start from where you left off and completely ignored the folded page that indicated that. what would happen if you said hello? would he say hi back? ask if you’d like to see what he’s drawing or ask about what you’re reading? the possibilities seemed to be endless, but the possibilities seemed safer as thoughts in your head rather than facing reality if you were to take a chance.
you can’t help but watch intently as his face scrunched from focusing on his sketch, his only tool a wooden pencil. did he plan to color it later? you can imagine trying to avoid rattling colored pencils leaving his possession due to the bumpiness of the train. he was quite brave for trying to draw in a place like this, you thought.
unnoticed by you, your beautiful stranger’s cheeks flushed and ears burned red as he could feel you watching him draw. the subject of his drawing still remained a mystery to you, however. tempting to spark up a conversation, yet so debilitatingly scary at the same time.
it seemed rude to stare for so long, so you put a stop to it immediately and busied yourself with your phone, catching up with texts you had missed since getting up for work. your phone was always blown up with texts from your friends, today being no different. if you didn’t silence your phone at night, you would never get any sleep.
they had been informed about your current saga, and the update would certainly excite them. it was hard to resist a smile as you texted them about the latest scoop, especially as the subject of said scoop was only a few meters away from you. maybe this should wait until later, otherwise they’d trying forcing you out of your comfort zone by talking to who was still a total stranger at the end of the day.
who knows though? for all you know, he could be a murderer. a stinking gorgeous one too. as if you need to be on the evening news. even so, those were just silly thoughts, all just an excuse to stop yourself from taking a chance at something for once in your life out of fear.
the second you reached your stop, you instantly regretted being so silent. would it have killed you to try? it felt like it would’ve, but you figured this morning was the last chance you’d have. if only you weren’t such a scaredy cat.
•••
after your shift, an unexpected reunion occurred on the evening commute. the train was quite crowded at this time of day, majority of the aboard trying to get home after a long day’s work, including you. the surplus of people made it quite difficult to find seating, but luckily for you, your beautiful stranger had a seat occupied by his bag, perfect for you to sit.
this was the extra chance you craved the second you got off the train earlier, cursing yourself throughout the day for not even attempting to just say hello. you were so thankful to see him again, it was almost like the universe blessed you for this very purpose. you were such a wuss this morning, but you refused to allow that reputation to continue now.
once you took a deep breath, you walked to where your beautiful stranger sat, trying to keep your balance as the train moved at rapid speed. in the midst of your struggle, the sound of your footsteps thumping on the ground caught his attention. he looked up in surprise, not expecting to see you, but thrilled nonetheless.
“hi.” you miraculously manage to speak out, your accent making an appearance during your pathetic english. it was agonizing how your heart raced a mile a minute just by uttering one word, so you tried your very best to calm yourself down. “is this seat taken?”
“no, no…” he replied to your question, picking up his bag and moving it to the floor by his feet so you could sit. “here.”
“thank you.” you say before taking the seat next to him.
god, your heart was thumping like the loudest drum ever created. to sit across from his was one thing, but right next to each other, shoulders brushing due to the lack of room? if only you could put a stop to this rapid percussion inside you. at least the sounds of the train rumbling against the tracks could serve as buffer for the unspoken tension between you and your beautiful stranger.
his sketchbook rested unopened on his lap. you recognized it as the one he had earlier, previously held close to his chest as if he were hiding secrets. what could someone as dashing as him be hiding in there, you wonder?
almost as if he were reading your mind, he suddenly opened up the sketchbook, flipping the pages—which revealed beautiful drawings in the split second you saw them—until he landed on a page of a finished sketch, one that you swore looked like you sitting on the train yesterday.
you look up and catch his eye. “is that me?”
“mhm.” he nodded with a soft grin.
his art style was something to be proud of, meant to be showcased in somewhere exquisite like the louvre. could this guy be any more perfect? drop dead gorgeous and talented? to see yourself captured in such a bewitching way was truly the greatest compliment one could ever receive.
the sound of the page ripping away from the binding of the sketchbook startled you. what was he doing? it was so perfect! why mess it all up? you couldn’t help but say something about it.
“what are you—”
“you can have it.” he interrupted you, holding the page in his hands, waiting for you to take it.
“oh…” your cheeks flush as your fingers accidentally grazed over his upon grabbing the sketch. “thank you.”
you almost felt bad holding this in your hands, afraid of ruining it just by the touch of your hand. how could he just let you have this without hesitation? even if this was a drawing of you, it felt like you didn’t deserve to have it.
you examine the drawing down to the details of the clouds behind you. you look for some sort of signature, assuming every artist had one in hopes to find a name. in the bottom corner, you see the name “hyunjin” written in cursive. you had finally put a name to your beautiful stranger.
“hyunjin?” you attempt to pronounce his name. your accent did you no favors, but you tried your best regardless. he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion until you pointed to where his signature was, then receiving a nod confirming that was his name.
“hwang hyunjin.” he said slowly. you repeat his name in full, speaking slower than him to make sure you were saying it correctly as you desperately didn’t want to screw it up. hyunjin, as you’ve now learned, gave you a nod of approval once you’ve won the battle with your accent.
“i’m y/n l/n.” you tell him. it would be awfully rude if he didn’t learn your name, after all. it seemed hyunjin didn’t seem to struggle at all when it came to pronouncing your name. his english was far better than yours, which wasn’t a shock as he seemed to be so insanely perfect in every aspect possible.
“are you an artist?” you ask, making an assumption based on the clues given to you the past two days. if he were anything else, you’d be surprised.
“i sing and dance.” hyunjin replied. you couldn’t believe his perfection could get any greater, but it just did. it would shock you if you learned your once beautiful stranger was a world famous one.
“well, your art is lovely.” you say.
“thank you.” he blushed shyly. to hyunjin, it felt so nice being treated like a normal person, appreciated for his art above all else. while there was no denying you found him to be the most breathtaking person you’d ever seen, there was more beneath the surface, and hyunjin was grateful to be seen for what he loves to do.
“is this your first time in paris?” you question, a chuckle escaping hyunjin’s lips over your pronunciation of your homeland. you were trying to get as much information out of him as possible before you were tortured with reaching your stop and leaving him once more. you had to take this chance while the universe let you have it.
“this is one of my favorite places to visit.” hyunjin said. truth be told, he always loved paris for its scenery and art, but yesterday he found one more reason to love it. is there any other place to love better than a city known all about that?
a visitor’s perspective was certainly different than the perspective of someone who’s lived here their whole life. there were so many reasons to love paris when you didn’t experience the greatest things about it everyday. to you, it was the same old thing. but to hyunjin, it was like a brand new experience each time in the rare event that he visited. but meeting each other allowed the both of you the ability to find something new to appreciate about this city.
“the eiffel tower gets old after a while.” you joke. hyunjin burst into a fit laughter, one more obnoxious than his calm chuckle from before. it infected you instantly, and you craved more of his laugh now that you’ve fully heard it.
hyunjin calmed himself down, letting out a sigh as he leaned his head back with his eyes closed and a grin on his face. he was truly the most beautiful person you had ever seen. “i hope i never get sick of this place.”
“i hope you never do.” you tell him, looking at his face as if he were a sculpture in a museum. “don’t wear it out.”
“i won’t.” he opened his eyes and responded to you, his smile not going away as you gazed into each other’s eyes.
you can’t help but stare at one another, almost like magnets pulling you together. was it normal to feel like this about someone you barely know? even so, it felt like you knew hyunjin before you ever met. such a thought would seem like insanity to someone else, but not to you, at least not in the moment.
your once unwavering stare was unfortunately interrupted by the sudden thrash of the train stopping. you look out the window and recognize it as your stop. if you were crazy enough, you’d stay on the train until they kicked you out, but you weren’t all that brave enough to try your luck. maybe you were better off savoring this moment for what it was; just a moment with a beautiful man who was once a stranger to you.
“ah, that’s my stop.” you say with a frown. hyunjin’s smile from before faded too. it was clear neither of you wanted this to end.
“oh, alright.” he replied. hyunjin watched as you quickly collected your things, not forgetting the drawing he gave you when you first sat next to him. you would cherish it as long as you could, and he could only hope that’s what you’ll do.
“maybe i’ll see you on the stage here someday, yeah?” you force a smile. you were actually sad to see this end, but if you keep a grin on your face, then maybe it’ll hurt a little less.
“yeah…” hyunjin nodded. “i hope you do.”
“bye, hyunjin.” you wave goodbye, hyunjin doing the same.
“thank you for making the train less boring for me.” you get those final words out before following the line of people exiting the train. hyunjin kept his eye on you for as long as he could, even staring out the window as you disappeared into the sea of people. if only he could have went with you.
“bye, y/n.” he said to himself, clutching the sketchbook that once held his masterpiece; a drawing of you, his beautiful stranger.
•••
on the third day, hyunjin was nowhere to be seen. you saw it coming, really. you knew last night was probably your final chance to ever see him again. still, a part of you hoped he’d magically appear on the train when you went to work the next morning.
the thrill you once had was no more. the spark lit aflame in your heart all gone. you weren’t sure if anyone would make you feel the same way hyunjin did. maybe meeting him was a lesson, something to teach you what the city of love was truly about, what you’ve failed at your entire life. at least now you were able to succeed, even if such a success was temporary.
you were thankful that your once black and white world finally had some saturation in it for once. if you were to meet hyunjin once again, no matter what the circumstance may be, the world would be in full bloom. you would look for him in everything you see, down to the bakeries you’ll eat at and sceneries you’d visit, for as long your thoughts echoed his name.
while your routine became repetitive once more, at least you had hyunjin’s image in your brain and his drawing in a picture frame on your shelf. if you were as talented as him, you’d try your hand at drawing him too, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to capture him like your eyes ever did. at least you have the memories.
hyunjin dreaded watching you leave, and he hated it even more when he left for the airport in the morning. he wondered if you thought about where he went, hoping you thought about him like he did now with you. you’d remain ingrained in his mind. whenever hyunjin thought about paris, a place he loved just as much as his hometown, he would think about you too.
he couldn’t explain this sadness inside him to anyone else. hyunjin couldn’t fathom anybody understanding the feeling of love at first sight like he did. a true romantic at heart, maybe you were the only one to be just as foolish as him when it came to romance. after all, you were instantly captivated by one another.
maybe, just maybe, hyunjin could write a song about this and sing it to the thousands of people he performed for like clockwork. but no matter what the days ahead held, hwang hyunjin, your beautiful stranger, was all that he would ever remain, and you would remain as his.
•••
(bonus)
@hynjinnnn: 파리에 있는 동안 기차에서 이 사람의 모습에 반해 그려보기로 결심했습니다. 나는 그들이 그것을 좋아했기를 바랍니다. 언젠가 다시 보고 싶습니다.
i was enthralled by this person on the train while in paris and decided to draw them. i hope they liked it. i'd love to see them again someday.
© plutoccult / 310802. please do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my content in or outside of tumblr. reblogs are appreciated <3
#stray kids#skz#hyunjin#hwang hyunjin#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#hyunjin x reader#hwang hyunjin x reader#pluto writes 📝
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AO3 Wrapped [writer’s edition]
thank you for tagging me @lisbeth-kk
1. Biggest surprise while writing this year?
That it’s been a really shitty year for me at work and health wise and I’ve still somehow done so much writing, unexpectedly. It’s something I consistently make space for no matter what and I’m genuinely surprised that people read them and leave me such lovely comments which really keeps me going. It’s made my year bearable. So I appreciate that. From all of you 💜 And I’ve enjoyed doing it more again.
2. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?
In the midst of writing part three of our seasons of love trilogy and editing part two with @fuck-off-watson-rp
And we have a killer plan for something new after that’s complete too!
You can read part 1 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59341804
I’ve actually lost track but I think I may have finished most of my other WIPs! Aside from a dream plan with @strange_Johnlock
For our Sehnenfäden sequel which may come eventually…
3. Your favorite character to write this year?
I really enjoyed writing conductor/musician Sherlock living in my home town and surrounding myself in the location for my FTH prep for @lisbeth-kk
Show Me Your Flaws
https://archiveofourown.org/works/58090684
4. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?
Trying to put myself in 1895 Holmes was my biggest challenge.
Homecoming
https://archiveofourown.org/works/59170702
5. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?
I don’t think I am planning on tackling any new pairings… yet, just different settings for now but you never know what will appear!
6. Did you receive any gifts this year?
Gifts this year? Working with @helloliriels
on an FTH and never having really interacted much before that, it was lovely to get to know each other better - that was a gift.
The Part of You That Stays
https://archiveofourown.org/works/58354519
I got the gift of an FTH from my angst queen companion @bluebuell33
Handbook for Unrequited Love
https://archiveofourown.org/works/60788200
And some lovely voice memo podfics which I always love from @lisbeth-kk which always cheers me up.
And my lovely friends who keep an eye on me and make sure I look after myself. You know who you all are 💜
7. Did you do any collaborative works this year?
My RP fics with @fuck-off-watson-rp
honestly keep me going and we both missed each other terribly when it became busy and hard to keep it going for a while there. So we’re back at it!
8. What do you listen to while writing?
I listen to a lot of soundtrack music I’ve curated on Spotify into moody angsty tracks that don’t distedgt too much. A lot of Max Richter. I’m excited to be seeing him live in Feb! I may need to take a notebook in case inspo strikes mid concert!
9. Favourite line/passage you wrote this year?
Oh god. I can never remember these!
Actually, I think one of them is coming up in my December prompt posts on Tumblr:
“You’ve never needed this.”
You’ll have to wait until the end of December to see what that’s about…!
I can’t think of any other specific lines but I do love when readers put them in their comments to tell me what has resonated with them.
Tagging @khorazir @bluebuell33 @helloliriels @peanitbear @fuck-off-watson-rp @totallysilvergirl
No pressure to join in 💜
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You're Invited…
Event: Tankhun Theerapanyakul's 30th Birthday Extravaganza
Theme: Roaring 20s
Place: Hum Bar
Date: November 25th, 2022
The digitally curated invitation arrives as a group text on Kim's phone two weeks before the date in question. When it arrives, he is strumming a tune so melancholy that it makes him feel he isn't emotionally ready to put together lyrics for it yet. Kim isn't sure why he isn't ready. Writing sad songs over the last five months has been commonplace. So common that his agent has asked him several times if he is okay. Vice is more thoughtful than his record label. His record label has only asked if he could please just write a couple of happy bops for the new album, or at least one.
His answer to Vice?
Of course I'm okay. Why would you think otherwise?
As for his answer to his record label?
No.
Regardless, neither answer seems to please them. Not that he is used to pleasing people, at least not the people who matter to him in some capacity. It has been a habit since Ma died, likely developing as a way to rebel against and to agitate Pa, only to spread like a disease. Pa wants a guard on him? Order the guard to leave or run away if they don't obey. Pa wants him to work a mission at seventeen? Kill the shitty ally who pointed a gun to his head to make Kim comply with his demands at an event when he was thirteen, all while letting their enemy walk free. Kinn finds out the reason Kim made that decision and strongly suggests Pa add a therapist to the roster, even though Pa always said no to doing that for Khun? Make the therapist rush out of the room in tears during their first and only session, then distance himself from an extremely concerned, desperate, and apologetic Kinn.
Chay finds out Kim used him to figure out just how terrible his father is? Pretend like he isn’t bothered and leave Chay heartbroken, only to end up heartbroken himself.
While that last one left a terrible taste in his mouth, it is clearly a tactic that mostly works for him. Look at all the lonely, sad, but high-quality music he is producing. He is curating a great album for someone to play as they write a suicide note. While Kim doesn't condone that, he thinks every person should have the perfect soundtrack for any poignant life event.
Porsche: Looking forward to it! Kinn and I will go shopping for our outfits this week. 🙂
Kinn: Couple coordinated? ❤️❤️❤️
Porsche: You know it 😁❤️
Tankhun: 🤮
Kim has to agree, but keeps his own vomiting emojis to himself.
Tay: Time and I will be there too. Happy to celebrate with you!
Tem: I'll be there as well.
Tay: 😐
Jom: See you guys there!
Yok: Looking forward to decorating the bar and celebrating with you, Tankhun! 🙂💜🍾🥂
Kim isn't even sure how he got Tem's, Jom's, and Yok's numbers. He probably found them and added them to his contacts when he was obsessively researching Porsche's origins on a caffeine bender. Whatever. They are in his phone now.
Unknown Number: Okay.
Porsche: You can come, but no drinking!!!
Fuck. It's Chay's new number.
That has Kim going from passively watching the conversation on his phone to quickly picking it up to click on the group text list and go through everyone in the chat. He has all of them saved on his phone except for two numbers and the list isn't very long. Not surprising. Tankhun went from a popular boarding school student to a traumatized, agoraphobic shut-in who cut himself off from everyone outside of the family and his bodyguards. He is only coming back to himself - or developing a new version. It is a mix of the sharp, caring, and charismatic big brother he used to have and the eccentric and over-the-top persona he put on after the kidnapping. He is both recognizable and a complete stranger, and Kim has missed him so much.
Not that he will say that out loud.
But maybe he can show him. He can show him that he cares and that he loves him. Kim never stopped loving either of his brothers, despite the distance he put between himself and his family. He never wanted to distance himself from Tankhun. He would have taken Tankhun with him. Kim told him they could share an apartment, even when he knew Tankhun told Kinn about why he killed one of Pa’s allies. He never blamed Tankhun for that and he still doesn't. Tankhun had just wanted Kim to get the help he was denied, even though Kim clearly doesn’t need it. Kim had wanted (and still wants) his oldest brother with him so they could get away and put all their shit behind them.
And Tankhun wouldn't leave. So Kim left alone and he stayed that way. Alone.
But Kim can choose not to be alone, at least for one night. He didn't realize how alone he felt, not until he came to his senses and - unfortunately - Chay came to his senses too. Maybe a party will be good for him, even though parties are never good for him. Unless he is hired to perform at one, he doesn't want to be at them. Ever.
Apparently Chay does. Chay is going and Kim hasn't seen him in person for months. That means Kim is going too.
Kim: Count me in.
Tankhun: HE SPEAKS. ����
Kim: Did you want me to ignore your invitation?
Tankhun: Of course I didn't. I just expected you to. You better dress up in a costume.
Kim: No.
Thankhun: 🙄 Fine. Just look nice. And ACT nice. Socialize. Do not stand in a corner all night. You deserve to have fun, believe it or not.
No. He doesn't. But he doesn't say that.
Kim: Okay.
Tankhun: …Is everything alright?
Kim stares at the text.
Kim: Why?
Tankhun: Because you are agreeing to come to a party.
Kim: I have attended parties before. It isn't that absurd of a concept.
Tankhun: Because you haven't come to the compound in months and skipped Pa's birthday dinner.
Kim: Why would I go to that?
Tankhun: Because he faked his death so Uncle Gun would force an attack and neither of them cared if their sons were killed in their violent feud. Because our father killed his brother. Because our cousin will likely never walk again.
Kim: Haven't you hated Vegas for years?
Tankhun: And yet I cry every time I think of how he must be feeling. Even though I hated him for years, I loved him for much longer.
Kim: Hm.
Tankhun: Kind of like you with Pa.
Kim: It's very different, but whatever.
Tankhun: Is that why you texted me privately to accept the invite? So Pa wouldn't see your text and be more likely to come too? I seriously doubt he will come, by the way. Hum Bar doesn't seem like his thing.
That isn't why. However, it is a plus.
Kim: Sure.
Tankhun: Are you actually okay? Something seems wrong.
It's a question from his agent that he regularly answers with lies. Why can't he text a lie to Tankhun? He should be able to text a one worded lie to his brother, yet his finger and thumb won't cooperate. Chay always playfully picked on him when it came to how he texted, with his left thumb and right index finger. Kim had pointed out that not all people game to the extent where using both thumbs to communicate as their go-to. Kim beat him at speed texting out the lyrics to some random song, and Chay beat him at Mortal Kombat in retaliation.
The memory makes Kim go lie down on the couch and stare at his reflection in the dark television screen, his phone left abandoned on the coffee table. An hour later, Tankhun lets himself into his apartment and Arm makes himself scarce by going into his kitchen to make dinner for the three of them.
Kim silently wishes him luck on that front. Other than some spices in the cabinet by the stove, coffee in the pantry, and a couple of takeout containers in the fridge from who knows how many days ago, he doesn't have much else to work with.
"Lift your head up," Tankhun says, urging him until he has enough room to sit down so that Kim's head is falling in his lap, "Let's watch a movie."
Whatever.
The movie in question deals with a couple gradually becoming more and more estranged. Of course it does. There is no happy ending in sight, so it is just like slowly watching tragedy unfold. Tankhun - predictably - cries his eyes out. Kim - not so predictably - cries too. But he's more subtle about it. He is actually so subtle that his brother probably doesn't even notice.
"Kim, what's going on with you?" Tankhun murmurs sadly as Kim's shoulders shake and he soaks Tankhun's pants leg with tears.
Fine. He does notice. But Kim still doesn't respond.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
He needs to look good for the party. The problem is, Kim always looks good. He isn't conceited, it's just a fact. Even when he was a child, everyone talked about how beautiful he was. Ma eventually tried to redirect those types of compliments by talking about his talent and how sweet he could be. But then Ma died and Khun had to take over on that front instead. And that's a hard responsibility to hold up when you're strapped to a gurney in the infirmary and being called crazy every other month. So Kinn got to be called the new heir, Khun got to be called crazy, and Kim had been left with pretty. It's probably the most preferable out of those three possibilities anyway.
But while Chay was likely attracted to his looks, he had been drawn in by Kim's talent. He hung off every word and piece of advice Kim gave him during their lessons. He had the courage to ask him to be his tutor. Chay looked at him with admiration and respect before he ever looked at him with hearts in his eyes, despite the pictures of Kim on his bedroom wall revealing that Chay found him at least somewhat attractive before they got close.
Chay probably tore those down. He doesn't want to look at Kim anymore. Kim knows that. If Kim were a better person, he would skip the party. It would make Chay happy, and honestly? It would be on brand for Kim.
But maybe Kim wants to go off brand for a while. Maybe his brand of being an aloof, mysterious, and loner musician is no longer doing him or anyone else favors. Maybe he is just tired of being him.
And maybe that's why he finds an outfit that actually complies with the roaring 20s theme. A three piece suit, complete with a stupidly expensive pocket watch.
He feels ridiculous. He doesn't feel like himself at all.
Good.
Except Kim got dressed too early. He doesn’t want to go back to his apartment like this. And part of him knows that once he goes back home, he may lose the gull to go back out. So maybe he will continue acting out of character. Going to Hum Bar early to help his brother decorate seems out of character.
So that's what he does.
"Kim?" Tankhun says as soon as he comes through the doors before his eyes widen, "What are you wearing?"
Kim looks down at his clothes, "Do you want me to get clothes from my car?"
"Nope, no need," Tankhun says, then comes over to put his arms around him, "You look very nice. Handsome, actually! What do you think of my tux?"
Kim gives his oldest brother a once over. Tankhun had strayed from his own personal norm even more than Kim did.
"It looks great," Kim tells him, causing Tankhun to beam brightly, "What do you need help with?"
"Well," Tankhun says, glancing behind him, "Arm and I are arranging the feather bouquets. Pol and Yok are stringing the black and gold ornaments together. Why don't you put together the placemats? We'll have dinner and cake first, then the fun can really begin. Thank you for coming."
"Wouldn't miss it," Kim says, even though that would normally be a lie. Tankhun hugs him again regardless, "Happy birthday, by the way."
Tankhun gives him a small smile, then takes a step back, "I hope it is. Now, come on! Let me introduce you to Yok."
Kim has a weird urge to let Tankhun know he knows a lot about Yok, both from Chay's fond comments about her and Kim's own research (disowned by her family, knows four languages, and has a childhood sweetheart who pointedly left the country with their son once Yok came to terms with her gender and decided to transition, which explains why she is so protective over Porsche and Chay and mothers them).
Instead, he just nods and tries to smile warmly. She seems like a nice person. She deserves warmth. She is kind to Tankhun and a very welcoming presence. Going by her interactions with his brother, Arm, and Pol, she has made friends with them. Right now, she's laughing at some joke Pol made that Kim doesn't really get but she clearly does.
Going by how closely Khun and Arm are talking, they seem closer too.
Weird. Although, Arm is now Khun's head guard, so maybe it isn't. Yet for some reason, watching them makes Kim feel out of place. But he snaps himself out of even attempting to analyze the situation further. Tankhun has often befriended his guards, a habit that could be heartbreaking for his brother, but beneficial because it is hard to make friends when you don’t leave the house. Maybe he is just closer to Arm than he has been to any other guard.
He feels alone.
When Pete walks through the door, Kim is actually relieved. Because as misplaced as Kim feels, Pete has to be feeling ten times worse.
"Pete?" Tankhun says hopefully, only having eyes for his ex-head guard as Pete cautiously walks into the bar, "You never texted back. I thought…We didn't know if…"
Pete breathes in and gives Tankhun a sad smile, "I just wanted to stop by to give you your gift and tell you happy birthday."
Tankhun nods, then glances down at the wrapped gift and cards once Pete hands them over, "You could stay, you know."
Pete just shrugs, keeping the sad smile on his face, causing Arm to step in.
"We miss you, Pete. So much," Arm tells him, coming to stand next to Tankhun, "Why don't you just stay for dinner?"
"...I can't," Pete says eventually, "Vegas and Macau are waiting in the car."
"...Oh," Arm says quietly, then says nothing else. What else could he say? Kim wouldn't know how to handle it. Vegas has been a sensitive topic for Tankhun for years. And after what happened, there is no way-
Tankhun lets out an unbothered sound, "That's fine! If you're worried about Macau being underage, Chay is coming too! Chay is just a year older than Macau and he needs a friend with everything going on. I am sure Macau is in a similar situation. They can chat. Get to know each other."
It's a shocking offer to hear coming out of Tankhun's mouth, even by Kim's standards. Going by Pol's and Arm's expressions, they are flabbergasted by it. But despite the thoughtfulness of the offer, Kim doesn't like it. He doesn't like the idea of competing with Macau for Chay's attention. He needs to figure out a way to talk to him, and Macau being there will give Chay a reason to ignore Kim in favor of pointedly focusing on a new potential friend. Because Chay is really great at that now. Ignoring Kim.
It is a selfish and stupid thought. Toxic too, because Tankhun is right. Chay deserves to have friends who understand what he is going through. But Kim is tired of trying to earn Chay's attention and he doesn't want to compete with Macau. He never did.
"Vegas is still in the car," Pete says, looking away from Tankhun.
Tankhun purses his lips, "This place is very accessible. No steps, wide doorways. Vegas should be fine to join us."
It's an even more shocking offer than inviting Macau. But it does show how desperate Tankhun is to have Pete here.
"He…" Pete starts, still looking off to the side, "Vegas is still getting used to things. He doesn't…The wheelchair is a sensitive topic for him. It is hard enough to get him to leave the house for appointments. I was lucky to get him to agree to his therapy intake this afternoon."
"Therapy intake?" Tankhun asks, his voice a murmur, "Porsche said Vegas has been in physical therapy since waking up from his coma. He said you told him Vegas goes on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays."
Pete nods, then clears his throat, "Not that kind of therapy."
Tankhun stares at him, then nods too, "Oh. That…That's good. He has probably needed that for a long time. And he probably especially needs it now."
"Probably so," Pete vaguely agrees, then glances down at the gifts, "One of those cards is from him. He…wanted to tell you happy birthday. Apologize. Get some things off his chest, I think. He had me read it to make sure it sounded okay. It's respectful. Heartfelt. Just…Make sure you read it with an open mind and when you are ready. Don't feel like you need to open it tonight. Enjoy your birthday. I know me showing up is probably stressful enough-"
“It’s not stressful, Pete,” Tankhun says, his voice strained, “It’s appreciated. I invited you because I wanted you here. Almost everyone I invited is someone I want in attendance. Almost. But believe me, you are not the exception.”
If anyone else in the room knows who it is, they don’t comment on it.
“Please stay?” Tankhun says, but Pete is already shaking his head, “Please?”
“...I’m sorry,” Pete tells him, his expression pained and guilty, “Maybe…Maybe I can call you soon? We can…We’ll catch up.”
Tankhun looks at Pete with teary eyes, then finally nods silently in agreement and accepts one last hug from him before Pete takes his leave.
“I just need a minute,” Tankhun mutters, then quickly walks to one of the bathrooms. Kim isn’t sure what to think when Arm only gives him two minutes before following him. A part of Kim wants to chew him out and tell him that his brother has a right to be alone if he needs it. But when Kim goes to the door to do just that, he overhears them.
“I know,” he hears Arm murmur as Tankhun cries, “I know you wanted him to come.”
“He doesn’t even answer my texts!” Tankhun sobs, “I thought he was my friend. He was my o-only friend for so long! And he won’t even TALK to me!”
“Khun, a lot has happened,” Arm says gently, weirdly referring to his brother personally, “It’s only been a few months. We’re all still raw from everything. That includes Pete. Give him some time. I know you miss him. I miss him too.”
“This is Pa’s fault! Pa did this! I just…I don’t…”
“I know,” Arm says again when Tankhun trails off.
And as much as he wants to see if his brother is okay, Kim lets Arm handle him and goes to pull out his phone.
Kim: How are you doing?
Macau: Why?
Kim: Idk.
Macau only responds thirty minutes later.
Macau: Horrible. Better than ever. I don’t know, man. P’Pete is a fucking saint though. I don’t care if we’re Buddhists. He has earned sainthood because he is a miracle worker who is somehow making Hia happy despite the circumstances.
A minute later.
Macau: How are you doing?
Kim just presses down on Macau’s message and reacts to it with an abacus emoji. It’s the most random one he can find. He expects Macau to be confused or tell him he’s the weirdest person he has ever known. Like he did before, back when their mothers were alive and their brothers liked each other.
Macau: That bad, huh?
Kim leaves him on read.
To read the rest of this one-shot, go to:
#kimchay#kinnporsche fanfic#kimchay fanfic#kimchay fic#kimchay fanfiction#kim theerapanyakul#porchay kittisawasd#kpts#implied ArmKhun#tw: depression#tw: implied abuse#tw: grief#heartbreak#getting back together#tw: eating issues#IWCCCIJLHWY#kinnporche the series#tankhun theerapanyakul#kinn theerapanyakul
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hello hello hello!! this is the yap session anon again (maybe i should like give myself a name or something haha) but thank you for the response!! i hope you feel better soon <3 and i love the long rambles!! uhm i did also yap a lot so be prepared hahaha (you 100% don't have to read all of this!!) yap session: it's really hard to explain why i love criminology but i love the sort of puzzle solving that criminology involves? like it gets me using parts of my brain and searching for clues and etc and that just makes my brain go brrr. learning everything about cases and investigations and also the whole detective thing has always been so interesting to me. i've always wanted to help people in some sort of way and criminology was perfect in my eyes. i guess if i had to explain why i love criminology i would just have to say that it makes my brain go brrr HAHAHA. and omg for your criminology-related classes that final project is such a good one!! cause that stuff (looks, personality, etc) definitely has and still affects the justice system. back to your english major stuff, i will definitely let you know if i find any classes similar to the ones you discussed :) and i wasn't able to find "i'm afraid of men" in my local bookstores sadly :( but i did order it!!! i'm also south asian (mixed though) so it will be interesting to read!! and finally, the writing zone is so real because i literally cannot write unless i'm in a certain mood :') i annoy my friends so much complaining about that hahah does it happen in a season?: sunburn is actually on my wish list!! hearing that being one of the inspirations for "does it happen in a season?" is so cool i might order it right now haha. seeing lee in the growing stage of her life was so interesting to read and it was sort of like an explanation for why she is like she is (as an adult)!! i also LOVE your exploration of lee and ruth's relationship it was so fascinating to read. "does it happen in a season?" felt so tender and intimate and i loved how you showed that alongside the complexities of life. i felt like each chapter was organized so well and it was super easy to read and understand and it all flowed really well! plus the soundtrack was so perfectly chosen it was like a curated playlist for the fic (i love it when authors put songs that they listened to while writing or relate to the story and stuff). also THE PARALLELS MWAH I LOVE <3 i definitely didn't notice a few of them but now that you talked about them i see them and oh my gosh i love that so much. parallels in romance are literally the best things ever i love seeing those. the ending felt so perfect and the little notes you added at the end had me literally kicking my feet and giggling it made me so happy. gosh this is probably organized so horribly because i just kept on yapping HAHAH but once again thank you for responding again and i hope you feel better soon!! - criminology anon 📕(maybe this will be what i call myself?? feel free to pick something honestly hahah)
#THIS IS SOOOOO DELAYED OMFG IM SO SORRY#I literally recorded this like the day after you sent the ask (which is why it's so funny for me to listen to it now bc I'm HACKING in it)#BUT I MISSED TALKING TO YOU SOOOOO MUCH#I took so long bc my phone (which is on its LAST leg) wasn't letting my upload my audios to my drive#so last night I cleared more space to see if it'd help bc it's v hit or miss but thankfully it FINALLY worked#gonna try to see if I can record on my ipad or laptop in the future#BUT I MISSED YOU SMMM I HOPE YOU'RE STILL CHECKING FOR THIS RESPONSE BC I WANNA HEAR FROM YOU <333#criminology anon 📕#s.audio
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Fic Writer Q & A!
tagged by @voxofthevoid, took me a while i'm sorry ;;;
How many wips do you have currently?
a surprising amount!! four actively on the go at the moment, including one collab piece, and a solid 8 more besides that i am going to be trying to crack out over the next couple of weeks even if they're short and sweet. on top of that i have another 7 things planned for my main ship and another 2 or 3 from others!!
aka i am busy and my wips list is huge r i p
Which one are you finding the hardest to finish?
there's something i keep writing and flittering away from then coming back then flittering away from, and it's frustrating because it's a concept i adore and i've put a lot of worldbuilding thought into it, but it's also not my main ship so my brain is tripping a little bit on it because the brainrot is r e a l
What does it usually look like when inspiration strikes for you?
uh. sometimes it's a 2k fic in 2hrs. somethings it's 25k over 3 weeks and a 7 page planning doc. it really depends on what the inspo is jhgfghj
Do you curate playlists for each fic or is your process different?
i honestly.... don't really write to music? there's been one exception really, but if i do need something on i will either play a specific soundtrack-only playlist i have, or a heavy phonk playlist. i'm not really a music person, if i'm honest!
Do you go balls to the wall and write as you go or are you more organized?
it genuinely depends on the fic. like i said above, i have wips that have absolutely nothing planned (like most f my argenthill week prep, i've literally just got the prompt name lmao) and then i have a fic that has a literal 7 page (and running) planning doc mapping relationships, roles, chapters, and a hit-list of unordered scenes that me n my collab partner are ordering as we go
i don't know who's super active anymore hhh so if you see this and you write consider this me tagging you and tell me about your stuff (feel free to link me to your answers to i'd love to read em!!!)
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🍓🧃📚
🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?
I was a reader long before I was a writer - obsessed with reading fic for so many fandoms - Marvel, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Harry Potter, Kingsman . . . but it wasn't until I discovered the Glee/Klaine fandom that I started writing. I ended up meeting a few lovely people through that fandom who were as addicted to fan fiction as I was and we'd get together to read fics and dissect/discuss them. And on a whim one day I wanted to give them a gift so I tried writing my first one. They assured me it was good, encouraged me to share it with others and that fic ended up being the first ever fic I posted on A03. And I've kept up with the writing - and here we are :)
🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before
I'm not sure if they mean personal like about me . . or do they mean personal , like private stuff I've thought about any of my fics that I've never shared? 😂 I'll talk about the fics, because I'm not all that interesting myself ( and I can't really remember what I have or haven't shared about myself anyway - long term memory be damned) Not so much personal lore, but personal feelings . . . I really am enjoying hearing that folks have love the music I've been curating for If I Can Make Your Heart My Home. (You can hear the current playlist here - and it's still evolving ). This is the first time I've done this, had so much music (and recipes) tied in with a story. I hope it brings an added layer to the story for readers. It honestly feels very much like I'm scoring or selecting a soundtrack to the fic itself. I have to say I always loved classical music myself in the past, but have really discovered some exceptional cello players while doing this and cello covers. Thanks to my fic partner, @datshitrandom for introducing me to Nicholas Yee ( you'll see him and a number of talented cellists appear repeatedly in the play list). And who knew so many of Sara Bareliiles songs could go so well with a big angsty fic? 😂 ( I do love her work as well)
📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?
I actually don't use my notes app on my phone as much as I do write on Scrivener . . and I think the last thing I wrote on there was for the next chapter of Puppy Love:
“Done, and done, sweetheart, “ Alex said, as he deftly flicked the door locked. He turned back to Henry with a naughty glint in his eye. “Now . . where were we?”
****
Thanks for the ask, @tinyarmedtrex!💖
Writers Truth & Ask Game - To play click here
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Hi Jen!
First, I've been wanting to tell you that I think you were one of the first kudos I ever got on my first chaptered story come and take a walk on the wild side and that really made my day when it happened.
I was so new to the fandom at the time and it was so cool to see someone was interested in a story that was far out of my own writing comfort zone at the time.
Now, for Nice Ask Day, I have to ask:
If you could have a soundtrack made for any of your stories; which would it be, who's five artist that would be on it, and if you want, what would their songs be called?
omg really? I didn’t know that! I remember being super intrigued by the premise!
I’ll go with the universe that I have the most extensive playlist for which is the vampire universe (I’d link my playlist when I post the sequel, but I’d be revealing my whole name and I don’t want to go through the effort of making a new spotify account lol). Embarrassed to admit that yes, some of the twilight soundtrack is on this playlist.
I actually have so many scenes that when I write, I think about how awesome it would be to watch this scene play out with a particular song in the background, so I’ll give you an artist and then what song of theirs would play during which scene! (Side note: I had to take a theater appreciation class in college and I was in charge of sound design for our final project and I actually loved it! My professor recommended me to take more classes, but it was so far from my degree that those class didn’t fit into my carefully curated schedule. I will channel that energy here instead)
1. Noah Kahan
Maine (specifically the intro) would play in the beginning of as if you were a mythical thing. I’m picturing an overview of the town before zooming into Carlos on his run because duh, look at the title of the song.
2. Taylor Swift (the folklore/evermore type music)
Peace would play on the drive back from camping after Carlos finds out about TK. Picture the scenic backroads with both of them looking out the windows wondering what happens next
3. Bon Iver
Roslyn (hello twilight soundtrack) would play during the scene on the beach when TK tells Carlos about his parents
4. Hozier
I’m thinking Work Song would be a nice slow yet powerful, meaningful song for either tarlos’ first time or their last time with Carlos as a human (coming soon!)
5. Lord Huron
The Night We Met would play during the final scene of the sequel, which will make a lot more sense eventually!
As you can tell, the soundtrack for this very much matches the gloomy autumn woodsy mood of this universe!
I appreciate the creativity of the final part of the ask, but that is not my strong suit AJDHJA I already struggle to title my own work
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How does one get into TouHou enough to rp? I love the designs I just dk where to start
Okay so, this is going to be a long answer. I would like to say that it's a simple one, but it really isn't given just how old the Touhou series is and how much media there is surrounding it both official and fanmade. So hopefully I can help walk you through things.
More under the readmore.
So, you say that you like the character designs. Which one? I think this is an important question to ask first. Which character is it that draws your attention? Because if you can figure that out, then it'll become easier to get into the series.
Touhou is a 25 year old series with 20+ games under its belt, not to mention the manga, novels, and independent music soundtracks. While this sounds incredibly daunting, I promise you that getting into the series isn't that bad if you start small. And there's absolutely no rush to learn everything about the official lore before you start RP'ing.
See, Touhou is very much kept afloat by its fanbase that creates numerous types of fanworks ranging from doujinshi manga, games, fanfics, fanart, and just about anything else you can think of. Due to the vagueness of the writing in Touhou, this usually leads to the fans filling in those holes with their own headcanons which the creator ZUN, is 100% supportive of as long as you follow his guidelines.
(The guidelines are real simple. Just don't post video game endings, or create fanworks that depict stuff that could be considered illegal in a real life situation.)
Anyway, because a lot of fanmade Touhou content runs on fanon, it's perfectly fine if you can't get the character down to canon in your first RP experience. Touhou fans are usually laid back about that kind of stuff, and if they're not, ignore them. Explore Touhou in your own time and use your own judgement when creating your character.
So, now that I've told you all this I want to go back to my original question. Is there a character you like? Because if there is, then my best advice would be to hop on over to the Touhou Wiki to look them up and see what official sources they appear in.
Of course it never hurts to also look at fanworks for inspiration, but I must warn you. If you're new to the Touhou fandom and are coming from another Western fandom then you may be a bit shocked. Some people can be into some... things you may not like.
It's an unfortunate fact of being a Touhou fan that you're going to run into unfavorable stuff when searching for fanworks on image boards and the like. It may take some time to learn how to avoid them but it's really easy to figure it out and curate your own space.
The main thing to remember when you run into something that you think might be gross or uncomfortable is to stop, don't freak out, and click off the page.
In the end, Touhou is about creativity freedom and that pretty much extends to everyone who's interested in the series. So don't stress too much about trying to get the character 100% right on your first try. For the most part you can meet people will be supportive of your portrayal and continue to be as you improve.
I hope any or all of this helps! Happy RP'ing! o/
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Day 8: Coming to Stay
Writing Prompt: A character can relive a memory, but it’s not as perfect as they remember.
“Welcome to the afterlife.”
Cora felt her body stiffen as the deep voice reverberated against her chest. She slowly turned around, and found herself faced with a tall, built, hooded figure. It gave her the creeps keeping her eye on its face, which was hard to see with the big hood. In the figure’s hand was a scythe that made her insides writhe; all she wanted to do was scurry away from it.
“You have one chance to relive a single memory for a chance of resuscitation.”
She blinked, her mind a whirl as she processed the piece of information.
“I can go back? Why?”
“It’s the rules of the afterlife. Your soul may have separated from your body, but everyone is given the chance to try at life again.”
The hooded man lowered the scythe so that the tip lay pointed on the floor. “It is your decision to make. If you’re content with your death, you can stay for the next cycle of life.”
Cora combed through her memories, mouth biting her fingernails. “Okay. I got it. What do I do now?”
“Envision it with every inch of your soul. Let it fill you. The rest will happen on its own.”
Her first solo trip to the Seine came to her mind, and she focused all her senses on curating the image of it in her mind. She had been holding onto a big baguette like a true tourist, which had garnered her some peculiar looks, but she paid them no mind. Cora fell deeper into the memory.
Then she was there. She was sitting by the Seine with a piece of baguette in her hand. Finding it hard to believe this was all real, Cora took a bite of her baguette, eyes watering with amazement as the taste of it filled her mouth. This was all real. She had come back. Somehow. The inner workings of this phenomenon was still hard to wrap her mind around because there was no rationale behind it, but she was not going to complain. She had one chance to live her life again. Her mind traced the hooded figure’s words. A chance of resuscitation? Cora wondered how that would be given.
She had missed this life. The one that came before corporate life. It was so easy to overlook moments like these for the money she earned in office. There had been so many logistical things she had to get out of the way, which, in hindsight, hadn’t been worth it. As Cora looked at the people walking, dancing, eating together by the Seine, a part of her came to regret the way she prioritized others' perception of her. She should have dedicated more time exposing herself to new sights to clear her mind and take better care of her people.
Someone started playing the violin, and Cora recognized it as a soundtrack from her favorite animation movie: How To Train Your Dragon. A pang of nostalgia hit her. She could see herself bouncing up from bed to open Christmas presents from her parents. Her first plushie would be of Toothless. As the strings vibrated their tune, she thought about all the times she turned to the movie for comfort on her rough days. Hearing it here was a new experience, and Cora realized that something was different about the memory. It wasn’t the perfect way she remembered it–things were changing. It was as if the new experience had a different chess player. What used to be her “perfect rendition” of her experience no longer was so, instead, it was a new one. She didn’t really mind, though. There was something nice about viewing everything from her thirties’. Well, legally, she was still twenty-two-years-old, but that's besides the point.
Putting her baguette beside her, she found her eyes settling on a lone man twirling a rose in his hands while putting his arms on the railings by the water. His hooked nose was sharp, and provided a nice balance with his hooded eyes. They were so bright and glazed with thought, Cora found it hard to look away. He looked to be in his mid twenties, wearing a dark grey slim-cut blazer over a ivory-colored crisp button-down shirt. This was paired with black trousers that complimented his tall figure. He wore the same white sneakers that she was wearing, which surprised her. The possibilities of that happening was slim, especially when she knew how hidden this brand was. She looked at the rose in his hands and wondered what story he had in him, waiting to be told. Looking down at her gold watch, she figured she had nothing to lose. If the hooded figure allowed one full day of reliving her memory, she was going to make the most out of it by being bold.
She was just about hyping herself to head to the man when she saw a group of girls flocking over to him. Cora paused, assessing the sight in front of her. The man had a polite smile on his face, and humored them, the rose now held on his right hand as he gestured with his left. Taking deep breaths, Cora closed her eyes, praying that she was not going to make a stupid mistake and strode over to them, her baguette hugged close to her chest. She was being so rash, it drove her heart crazy.
“Honey, did you wait long for me?” Cora confidently asked, brown eyes meeting green as she silently begged the beings above to be on her side. The group of girls stopped their conversation and parted to give her a cold look. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it in time. I tried to get here as fast as I could, but I got held up trying to pick the right outfit.” She was rambling by this point, but she pushed herself to keep going: “You look dashing as always.” That was the truth. A part of her hoped that he wasn’t taken or that his partner wasn’t due for arrival because this was going to go down as the most embarrassing moment of her life.
“Do we know you?” A girl from the group asked, a trace of ice in her tone.
“Yes, I’m Cora Vuet.” The girl continued to stare. Cora gazed to see the man looking at her with curiosity and amusement, and she looked away, back at the girl. “I haven’t seen you around before. Are you acquainted with my boyfriend?”
The man’s eyes twinkled, and Cora willed her eyes to ignore it from her peripheral vision.
“We thought he was single and wanted his number. Guess we can’t.” With a scoff and groan, the girls dispersed and left the two alone. Cora sighed, hands loosening around her baguette and leaned against the railing.
Thank goodness.
“Why so late, darling?” A velvety voice teased.
Cora looked up. “I was getting a baguette?” She weakly offered.
The man laughed. It was a nice sound. “Wasn’t aware that I had a girlfriend.”
“Then why the rose in your hand?” She asked with a smile.
“I was gifted one. Just didn’t know what to do with it.” He shrugged.
“So, Cora.” The man turned so that his face was facing her while his back was now against the railing. “What brought on the sudden interaction?”
Cora wondered how much of this was real. Did memories disappear for the person if she failed to satisfy the criteria for a new life? Not for the first time, she wished she had time to ask the hooded figure how exactly all of this was supposed to work. Cora bit her lip. But if she had known, she wouldn’t have made these choices.
“I have a day to live this life.” Cora honestly told him. He looked shocked and stopped twirling the rose stem around with his fingers. “There wasn’t anything worse to lose than my life, so I figured I’d just give a stab there.” Cora bit into her baguette, chewing thoughtfully. After swallowing, she asked, “What’s your name? Honey boo?”
The man wrinkled his nose with his eyes narrowed, but didn’t look offended. “The name is Liam Delacroix babe.” Cora laughed hearing his drawn out term of endearment. His look then resembled concern, “Why do you have one day to live? I hope you don’t mind me asking this.”
“It’s a deal I made with the people up there.” Cora pointed towards the sky. “It likely sounds crazy, but I’m actually already dead. My memory doesn’t tell me much, but I am pretty sure I passed away at a young age. I’ve just been given a chance to relive my favorite memory, which was my time in France. I figured if I come back, I could enjoy all the small things that made me happy to leave with no regrets. There are ways for me to permanently come back, but I don’t have much information about that. Thank you for allowing me to humor you. This was not as difficult as I thought it would be.” She smiled softly.
A hand on her shoulder shocked Cora enough to tilt her head up to meet Liam’s eyes. “I’m glad I met you.”
Liam looked away, an uncertain look in his eyes, “Could I treat you to dinner? Consider this a symbol of trust between us. I promise to bring you back here before it’s too late.”
Cora nodded, and Liam beamed, sliding an arm into hers to lead the way. Cora enjoyed it more than she should have. Already, she was filled with apprehension. Somehow she had caught feelings for this guy. A person that wouldn’t remember she existed once she left. She pushed the emotions down. Things were moving too fast for her to say this was a crush. There was barely anything she knew about Liam, but the unexplainable feeling of safety that enveloped her as she kept her arms by his side perturbed her. It felt right. Liam matched her pace as he led her to a cozy restaurant a couple blocks away. She left the menu up to him, and she watched the way he interacted with everyone around him. It was a plus to see him using fluent French.
“Do you come here often?” Cora asked.
“I used to come here with my family when I was younger.” Liam smiled. He let out a nervous smile before proceeding, “It was an anniversary event kind of thing.”
Cora sensed a but following the sentence, but wasn’t sure if she had the right to ask. Liam seemed to see the turmoil in her eyes because he nodded gently to affirm her suspicions true. Cora felt the corner of her mouth turn down, and she reached for his arm on the table, patting it. Liam placed his hand on hers, and she savored the warmth radiating off of his palms. Words weren’t needed for a while until food was served.
This was the most fun Cora had on a solo trip. She barely remembered how she spent the last one by herself. Liam was a gentleman, which she already knew. No man would have held a rose by the Seine river.
“That’s why you stood out to me, you know?” Cora admitted. A hand supported her cheek. She’s also had a couple of wines, which made her feel tipsy. It tempted her to become more vulnerable. The candle that the servers lit as the sun set set a more ambient atmosphere, and she felt more alone with Liam, even though she was surrounded by other tables.
“You looked like you had a story to tell with those eyes and red rose in your fingers.” Cora reached out to trace Liam’s eyes in the air. “It mesmerized me.” Her fingers landed close to his lips, and she heard Liam take in a shaky breath. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this openly smitten by anyone in a long while.”
That was the truth. Being in her thirties hasn't provided her with more time to pursue people. She always needed more time to herself so that she could grow her career. How silly had she been. Cora smiled bittersweetly, her hands cupping Liam’s jaw. Her thumb tracing circles on his cheeks.
“I wish I had more time with you,” she confessed, pulling her hand away from his face. Liam was quick to keep her hand in place so that he was now supporting her limp hand.
“Me too,” Liam whispered. His eyes desperately peered into hers, “I wish I had more time to spend with you, too. I’ve never wanted a family or a partner, Cora.” To Cora’s surprise, tears had sprung into his eyes. “Losing my parents scarred me from all of that. You’re the first woman that I feel safe around.” Cora wiped his tears away before they fell. She sniffled. “I can actually imagine a lifetime with you. I don’t want to lose you. Call me crazy for feeling this much for a woman I just met a couple hours ago, but I can’t lose you.”
“Liam…” Cora trailed off, unsure of what to say. She didn’t want to give him false promises of a future with her, but she could tell him this: “All I know is that you won’t remember me after tonight. You’ll find someone like me and do everything you want with me with her. I trust that you will find happiness with someone else.” At Liam’s insistent denial, her eyes softened, “You will find love again, Liam. I promise. This dream will just show you the possibility of falling in love. It will be a goal you seek for in life once I’m gone.” She reached forward to caress the other side of his face, and she leaned forward to press a light kiss on his forehead. Sitting back down, it melted her heart when she saw him looking back, awestruck. She lightly smudged away traces of her lip gloss with a smile, and asked for the check from the server.
Once outside, Cora knew she had to take her leave soon. Though she was unsure whether or not she would be able to come back to the same life, she didn’t want to risk letting herself hope. So when she pressed a kiss onto Liam’s lips, she gave her all into it, the knowledge of this being their last weighing her down. Her fingers dug into his hair as she pressed herself into him, giving him all signals that she was as reluctant and unwilling as he was. He tilted his head to deepen his kiss into her, and she felt her knees buckle.
“Liam. Liam.” She moaned in between his kisses. He groaned as he peppered kisses down her neck.
“Liam, I have to go now.” She let out weakly. Liam responded by tightening his hold around her waist.
“I don’t want to.”
“Liam.” Cora felt tears accumulating in her eyes. “I can’t promise you that I’ll be back, but I want to thank you for tonight. You are wonderful.” Liam paused, his eyes burning a hole into hers as he brought his face into the crook of her neck so that he was burrowed into her.
“Thank you, too.” Liam whispered. “You changed me tonight. I really hope to see you again.” He left another kiss on her mouth and loosened his hold around her. She gently stepped out of it, brushing her sleeves and tucking loose strands behind her ear.
“Me too, Liam.”
With a gasp, Cora felt her soul elevating back. With a blink of an eye, she was back, facing the hooded figure. She couldn’t help the tears that flowed down her cheeks and the raw hurt in her heart as the reality of her situation set in again.
“I failed, didn’t I.”
The hooded figure looked at her wordlessly.
She shifted, clasping her hands together. “Can you say something?”
A long silence followed.
“I’m sending you back.”
Cora felt her eyes widen.
“Back? Back to Liam?”
Too many questions were swirling in her head.
“Does this mean I can live? I passed the test? Wait–I don’t understand. What did I do to pass?”
When she blinked next, she found herself back in Liam’s house. Precisely, in his bedroom.
She let out a gasp, hands shaking as she pulled out her phone. It read 9 a.m.
Muffling her cries of joy, Cora thanked the hooded figure for allowing her to stay, and watched the man she met last night sleep.
He was overjoyed to realize it wasn’t a dream. Word Count: 2773
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Fic Writer QnA
Took this from @spacebuck. Check out theirs here :)
How many wips do you have currently?
OK so if we take the definition of WIP to be "all the ideas I have a started something with but never finished" and include the ones i think i'm neevr going to do anything with, here's what we have: - 12 for BG3 with my Tav. Ranging across all 3 acts, just little scenarios and shenanigans. - 1 for Cyberpunk 2077, about the epilogue. - 10 for Genshin. Including, Aebedo, Kazuther, Yunluc, Kavetham, Diluc and the Mondstadt kids. - 1 for Hades 2. Icarus/Melinoe where Icarus goes back to the crossroads. Which makes a grand total of 24 ! Oh my fucking gods, I had never counted before gsdlfuih BONUS: if we also count the ideas where I created a word document but never actually wrote anything, we have 2 more, and they're both Genshin (xiaomiya, kazubedo).
Which one are you finding the hardest to finish?
WELL a lot of them were abandoned very early on and I will probably never come back to them,, ever. So I won't be counting those. From the ones I intend to come back to though, I'd say Diluc and the Mondstadt kids. It's been sitting for months, I just have a mental block somewhere. I love them dearly but I can't find the right way to portray what I want. (I'm not even sure what I want ;-;)
What does it usually look like when inspiration strikes for you?
I write non-stop, I just let it all out and don't even reread it or whatever I just pour it all out and will make it make sense later. I love those moments, I'm usually so hyped up when that happens. Ad if I'm not able to write, I just send myself a message to keep the ideas somewhere but it probably won't leave my mind until i come back home to my PC to write.
Do you curate playlists for each fic or is your process different?
Absolutely not, I just put on whatever. Or no music, that works best if I can't find something that fits the headspace I'm in. OR in specific cases, it's the same song on loop. For the first part of my fic Daisy, I actually listened to the HSR soundtrack Deep Within on loop for a few hours kdjfghs
Do you go balls to the wall and write as you go or are you more organized?
lmao balls to the wall! I generally have an idea of what I want to happen and then I let the keyboard do the talking. I'm not usually a long fic type of guy, so I can make it work. For my original novel tho, I have character sheets, I have folders full of references, pictures, charts, maps, relationship trees, fictional language dictionaries, lore dumps and outline of each region of the world the main crew's going to visit with what events occur there, etc. World building my beloved <3
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Rainy Dawg's Favorite Smash Hits
Our tireless Blawg team recently put their heads together and parsed out their favorite radio smash hits ever.
DJ Willem Dafoe and Chat GPT
Katy Perry - “California Gurls”
In the trenches of the great recession, Katy Perry knew what she had to do when she dropped California Gurls off her album Teenage Dream. With 84,000 downloads and 14.9 million plays on American radio, she single handedly stimulated the American economy back to greatness. The catchy chorus, integral Snoop Dogg feature, and shiny synthetic wig changed the course of pop stardom.
California Gurls is pop at its finest. Right off the bat, Katy shines with her vocals. The whole song is so iconic from start to finish that in her 2016 Super Bowl performance she goes “I know a place..SING IT” and the audience sings back “Where the grass is really greener.” Who else can command a crowd like that???? There is no other time and song where there would be shark mascots dancing offbeat. Left shark, I will never forget about you. Katy has such mastery over creating catchy songs and summer vibes. The song captures the essence of summer with its lyrics about California, beaches, sunshine, and carefree fun. It evokes a sense of warmth, relaxation, and freedom, making it a popular choice for summer playlists. The Snoop Dogg verse also elevates the song to great heights. His line “toned, tan, fit, and ready. Turn it up 'cause it's gettin' heavy.” Those are my nightly prayers I recite before bed to be honest. Katy Kat Forever!
Other considerations why California Gurls is The Mega Hit of All Time.
I ordered a sex on the beach at the bar because of this song and it was pretty good.
The Glee Cast Performance
The Candy Land visuals
Kira
“Jessie’s Girl” - Rick Springfield
There are quite a few things I have inherited from my father, among them: light hair, affinity for chocolate, and a love of 80s music. One of my earliest memories of music was downloading the song “Jessie’s Girl” on the iPod classic my parents let me use at the tender age of 5. While my other musical escapades at the time were limited to the pop songs on the radio, “Jessie’s Girl” introduced me to the rock genre and its powerful guitar riffs and infectious drum rhythms. The dog on the album cover was a plus too. Though this song and its stellar reception was probably a nightmare for poor Jessie, it will always sound sweet and youthful to me. This song will always remind me of my dad jamming in the late evening while washing dishes. Also as a society we need to bring back little guitar solo bridges.
Steven
Sade - “Smooth Operator"
After 3 bars of the most memorable percussive intro you have ever heard in your entire life, it is mandatory to audibly sing the bass fill going into the intro saxophone riff. Sade’s voice immediately swells and fills absolutely so much space over the simplistic and smooth bossa-nova-esque beat, with backup secondary backing harmonies filling even more space. The first verse finally cuts into a beat of silence before going back into the initial groove of the song with the song’s hook. This song is an absolute song-writing clinic. “License to love, insurance to hold” is an insane line to throw into a song. My favorite part about the music video was the intermittent cutting between the main antagonist cheating on the protagonist (Sade) and a dude ripping a saxophone solo.
Ben
Snoop Dogg, Pharell Williams - “Drop It Like It’s Hot"
It is the summer of 2015 and you and your brother have recently been given a PS4 and a copy of 2K15. The soundtrack has been curated by Pharell. It is the peak of his power hat phase. You will spend countless hours being blown out by those using Steph Curry and wired internet connections. You will grip the controllers so tightly that you can still smell the sweat on them (sorry). “Drop It Like It’s Hot” will come up on the shuffle more often than any other song and you and your brother will end up memorizing the lyrics through pure rote exposure. You will imitate the instrumental with tongue clicks and lackluster hand drumming. And watch the music video many many times. You will lose to Steph Curry again.
Emi
Blondie - “One Way Or Another” off Parallel Lines (1978)
I’ve had this Blondie poster hanging in my room since my freshman year of high school; its moved with me through about 4 bedrooms. Moms everywhere love Blondie and mine is no exception. She was still pissed when I bleached my hair to copy Debbie Harry, though.
I think Debbie Harry is one of my favorite icons ever. So I kind of have to pick one of my favorite Blondie signs for this post. “One Way Or Another'' is about an ex-boyfriend-turned-stalker that Debbie Harry had while living in New Jersey, reaching number 24 in 1978 on the Billboard Hot 100. While most all of Blondie songs are fun, this one seems especially whacky, with its guitar and bass doing weird riffs going down by half-steps and threatening vocals that’ll make anyone wish Debbie Harry would stalk them. I want to sing this song so badly right now really really loud but I can’t, so I’m going to leave and go somewhere else where I can. You should do the same!
Zola
Nelly Furtado, Timbaland - "Promiscuous"
There's a clip of Timbaland in the studio playing Jay Z the beat for what would become ‘Dirt off your shoulder”, where you can just tell Timbaland knows he has a hit on his hands. He’s got a gallon of water, and a smash hit. Timbaland ran the music industry in the 2000’s like nobody else. Cranking out hit after hit. The songs he had a hand in making would go on to become huge successes. Think Sexyback, Cry me a river, Apologize . In 2006, Nelly Furtado, and Timbaland came together to create promiscuous. The song which features a back and forth between two individuals’ both insisting on the promiscuity of the other. The song would go on to be a smash hit. In the United States, it went 7x platinum, and hit #1 on the Billboard hot 100, where it stayed for six weeks, until it was eventually dethroned by Fergie’s “London Bridge”. The song even inspired a line in the song “Give it to me”, another Timbaland song, featuring both Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake, in which Furtado takes a swing at Fergie (I seen you to try switch it up, but girl, you ain't that dope), after a line in Fergalicious that she interpreted as a diss towards her (Fergalicious (So delicious) But, I ain't promiscuous) (I'm pretty sure Fergie just needed a word that would rhyme with fergalicious). Promiscuous continues to stay relevant, various remixes and sections of the song continue to trend on tiktok. I continue to listen to it weekly. It continues to be played at 70% of the parties I attend. Might be one of the best songs ever cooked up by Timbaland, which is saying alot, considering hes also responsible for Big pimpin’ and 4 minutes.
Sofia
Dexys Midnight Runners - “Come On Eileen," Too Rye Ay I mean, has there ever been a better song to dance to! Kevin Rowland’s desperate vocals with the violin and accordion that were far from the norm at the time plus the slow-to-fast chant give this song its folksy charm. This song had the number one spot on the Billboard Hot 100 charts in the U.S. during a week in April 1983, and it was Britain’s best-selling single of 1982; despite all that acclaim, hardly anyone knows who the artist is or that this song is about Rowland’s feelings of Catholic guilt and shame about feeling “dirty” after growing up religious. This song’s been following me my whole life, and nothing beats hearing “Come On Eileen” at a party and forcing your friends to get up.
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Soundtrack of My Life: 2020 (Mid-Year)
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In my junior year of high school, I enrolled in a honors creative writing course called ‘Search for Self.’ The class helped students discover personal identity, meaning and purpose through a series of creative writing prompts and literature. A few solid reads that I recall from this class include A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, The Snows of Kilimanjaro and The Pearl. My favorite assignment that came out of this class was one called ‘Soundtrack of My Life.’ Each student was asked to curate a music album composed of 10 select songs and write a paragraph for each song about its context to your life. It was an assignment that really complemented my “ikigai” and I’ve made a conscious effort to continue doing this assignment periodically over the years. Music is one of the few constants in my life and best illustrates my mental health and headspace in that time and moment. After nearly a decade, it is refreshing to go back and review the different genres of songs I was feeling during that time in my life, as well as which songs have truly stayed with me and still remain in my ‘top 10.’
Bullet Train Fantasy by Ibrahim and Luvbird Considered as part of the “chillhop” lofi family, this song is perfect for one of those days when your head is in the clouds. It is very much a song that I can imagine myself listening to while riding the Shinkansen bullet train while casually eating a bento box and sipping an iced green tea. The past few months have all blurred together and sort of feels like riding a bullet train with no destination in sight (think Snowpiercer). The question in all of our minds is just when will the train stop and we’ll be finally let out to breathe?
“From Now On (앞으로)” by Kim Min Seung (김민승) When shelter-in-place first took place, it had me (along with many others I’m sure) spiral down into a dark rabbit hole of binge watching K-dramas. The first drama I binged was ‘Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo,’ which stars Lee Syung-Kung and Nam Joo Hyuk. Highly recommend this one to anybody looking for a lightweight drama as it is an innocently adorable, quirky and easily consumable slice of life series. “From Now On” was one of the drama’s main theme song that brought an upbeat and optimistic energy whatever scene it was overlaid over. I can confirm that my mood definitely perks whenever I hear it playing!
“Heartburn (Jarami Remix)” by Wafia Very few people know this about me but I actually suffered from constant heartburn during my adolescent years. I never had it diagnosed but my assumption was that the pulses were triggered by a poor diet and lack of exercise. It has since disappeared but was always a mystery to me growing up and I’d always ask myself, “Tell me, why does my heart burn this way?” That being said this time around the relapse is a different sort of heartburn.
“Yummy (Summer Walker Remix)” by Justin Bieber Seriously, don’t even bother asking. I am ashamed to say how weirdly obsessed I am with this song because it’s just so…damn… catchy. And yes, I am well aware that the lyrics are horrendous and the meaning behind the song is pretty disturbing. I do think I gain a few redemption points since I prefer the Summer Walker Remix over the original. Summer’s voice adds just a touch of sophistication and balances an otherwise repetitive song.
“Airplane Mode” by Younha I first heard this song in 2019 but it has since resurfaced. This song helped me build a deeper connection with a person who had a completely different taste in literally everything than me. It was truly a monumental moment to be able to identify commonality. I truly value the importance of turning on airplane mode both literally and figuratively. The song reminds me to disconnect from my phone which seems to be spewing nothing but bad news across the world recently as well as investing in self-care time. A minute detail, but I love how the intro to the song starts with the raw shutter sound of a DSLR camera.
“Crashin” by Saint Wknd & Dirty Radio If there was a song that gives me all the “start of summer” feels, it would be this one. This song had already convinced me that this summer was going to be an amazing one and surprisingly, it was! When I listen to this song, I feel as if I’m ready to go somewhere and gives me the confidence and swagger to go about my everyday routine. If you see me walking around with a bit more pep to my stride, chances are I’m probably listening to this song.
“Paper Hearts” by Tori Kelly I first heard of Tori Kelly from her “Rocketeer” cover with AJ Rafael way back in the day before her rise to fame. From that cover alone, I was sold and convinced that she would eventually blow up. I love Tori’s angelic voice and she’s one of the few artists that sound just as good live (if not better) as online. Last year, I organized at a dance series workshop and the choreographer chose this song which made me fall in love with it. The choreography felt very fitting with the lyrics and definitely challenged the class to “feel” the song more and be more interpretive with the movements.
“If You Were Here I’d be Okay” by David Choi This was one of those songs that I distinctly remember binge listening to in the car during my adolescent years. It would give me the energy to get me through the morning grind (clearly this was before I discovered coffee). I’ve recently been on a mission to clean out my files and just happened to stumble across this song amongst my old journal entries. To this day, I’m still shocked that this song didn’t blow and gain the recognition it deserved. The only live video I could find of David performing this song is here – check it out. (skip to 1:18)
“Less of You” by Keshi Yes, yet another lofi song has made my top 10 list! I love all of Keshi’s songs but this one in particular really captures the rawness of his voice which is complimented with the guitar instrumental. There is a sentimental quality to the undertones that really add to the “pain” of the song that is very relatable. I would also like to call out the looping gif on Spotify of this song because it’s truly a mood.
“The Space Between” by Cleopold I find myself more often than I’d like to admit “dancing in the space between” in my everyday life. It can be difficult to get out of and I find it a major blocker when it comes to decision making. Sometimes it works in my favor but other times it doesn’t. This song was perhaps one of the first songs that I started listening to towards the beginning of the year and it gets my juices flowing which is perfect for a good run outside of home workout.
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Getting through the second to last chapter of the wip! I started working inward from both ends today and although the middle is still pretty sketchy and I have a lot of decisions to make about the first unfinished section, I have a pretty good idea what my options are. Probably won't finish it tomorrow, the weekend seems more likely.
The last chapter still has one little gap which I'm intentionally not working on, both so I can stop myself from posting the last two chapters in rapid succession, and because it needs more thought.
Thinking of making a playlist to go with the last chapter but I haven't been thrilled with the platforms I've attempted to use for fandom playlists in the past. YouTube is clumsy and bothersome and you risk things disappearing due to copyright strike, and Spotify I have found lacking in the songs I want to include, especially anime soundtracks, but also just slightly obscure songs I would have thought they had.
I don't think Bandcamp has playlist functionality? I might check to be sure, but the best option might turn out to be a self curated list of links or something, so I can include different platforms, or I guess just a GDrive folder? Not sure if it will actually happen at all tbh.
Anyway I hope to complete the fic in the next couple weeks! After that I only have vague plans. Might write a timestamp for like a decade post-redemption or so, or get caught up by another surprise idea, or I might get called upon to be a pinch hitter for the exchange, or I might get my novel back! Only time will tell.
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