#VAT Bill

[darrenwalleyconsultancy]

UK Streets are littered with Tax Bills

Photo by nattanan23 What do I mean by the “UK streets are littered with tax bills?” Last week we looked at the obvious taxes around income and the cost of living. This was written hoping that the people planning to come to the UK thinking going from zero to hero will be easy are made aware that it is so far from the truth. Here is something that I read on Facebook that, to be honest, sums up…

[gelarshiesprofruitboarder]

i have like one lemon demon song liked and at this point i probably gotta not have it be that anymore cause. Theyre. in it for like two seconds and any mention of them makes me ill

[arttsuka]

I want to get the book of bill now. Right now. Give it to me

[volfoss]

one of the really good parts about being a golden age comics nerd is like... you will start from the beginning with a super popular hero that is known for being really good and doesnt kill. and then in the golden age they are just killing 0 remorse

[acquisory]

E-Way Bill — A new Opportunity for Easy Transit

In the meeting of the GST Council it was decided and recommended that the e-way bill shall be introduced in a staggered manner from 1st January, 2018, and will be rolled out nationwide from 1st April, 2018.

E-way bill was also the part of VAT regime wherein it was created under the name of Delivery Note. This delivery note was carried along with the goods which provide the proof that goods being carried are already uploaded on the server of the department and hence no evasion of tax. The above system used to be manual system wherein the Delivery Notes were collected from the VAT department and later on its utilization statement is submitted.

Under GST, one system is being developed for the generation; cancellation etc. of E-way bill. If different states had separate systems for generation of E-way bill it would have resulted in difficulty to cross-verify of such E-way bill and also result in hindrance of movement of goods and free trade from one state to another.

“ E-Way Bill is an electronic way bill for movement of…

Read more: https://www.acquisory.com/ArticleDetails/65/E-Way-Bill-%E2%80%93-A-new-Opportunity-for-Easy-Transit

[fvckwithmefamo]

A Guide to Paying VAT to HMRC

Welcome to my guide on paying VAT to HMRC! In this article, I will provide you with all the necessary information and steps to ensure that you fulfil your VAT obligations correctly and on time. From understanding VAT registration and calculating VAT to making payments online through your HMRC online account, I’ve got you covered. Let’s make the process of paying VAT as simple and stress-free as…

[distort-opia]

What kind of non lethal crimes do you think Joker would pivot to in a relationship with Bruce? I'm thinking about your REMS characterization. Also thinking about a line from Joker in the last chapter, about not throwing his career down the shitter and killing to defend himself. What would a career look like for him being with Bruce? Surely he would still be incredibly silly about them, with varying levels of violence that *just* teeters the edge. Love your work!

Glad you like my work, thank you! Hmm, what I had in mind when writing that in REMS (or for a sequel) was Joker's penchant for... well, breaking people and exposing hypocrisy, but minus the murder. With his love of drama and performance sprinkled on top, of course; as you say, he'd never stop being silly.

He usually kills indiscriminately, yes, because he considers himself as just playing into the cruel meaninglessness of the world. But the reason why Joker fixated on Batman, and why his M.O. includes using a gas that basically forces people to see the world like he does right before they die, is Joker's need to prove a point. He wants people to admit that there's no order to life and that tragedy can strike at any time; he wants Gotham to realize how arbitrary rules are, and Batman happens to be the perfect embodiment of that.

So I think that a Joker who won't murder anymore would basically create situations in which people's darkest sides are exposed, to various degrees of seriousness and violence. And not only that-- he would do things that would expose the ridiculousness and heinousness of the world people live in. Capitalism and its self-cannibalizing focus on profit, the skewed interests of the government, the suffering of the poor... Joker's already done this sort of thing, it's not much of a stretch. For example, seeing how many people we're being hurt as a result of superhero fights, one time Joker promised to pay the medical bills of each Gothamite that posted a video on the DC equivalent of Facebook... but only if they shouted the word "Balyushka" and then did something ridiculous to make him laugh:

Batman: Gotham Nights #6 ("Balyushka!")

And he keeps his word! But of course, this creates utter chaos, because people are doing fucking crazy shit to get that money. And the thing is, he doesn't do this just for funsies. He has a point, and Bruce can't help but admit it:

Batman: Gotham Nights #6 ("Balyushka!")

Joker exposed the problems that Batman could not tackle with fists, and then Bruce listened. He actually used his money and influence to help.

Ironically, again, it's not the first time Joker did something that made Bruce go "Hmm, maybe I should look into the systemic corruption":

Batman: Gotham Nights #4 ("The Dragnet")

I won't go into too much detail, but Joker paid Harleen Quinzell's tuition without much prompting, he went and helped (in his own way) a child who wrote to him and was clearly being abused... it's about the cases he can empathize with. And they're all connected to his own life-ruining trauma. Red Hood fell into the vat most of all because of poverty. Because he had no choice except to turn to crime-- otherwise him and his family would not have had food to put on the table. So of course he hates the society he lives in, one that had no safety nets or mercy for people like him who were drowning.

This is a very long-winded way to say that I imagine a non-lethal Joker being a mix of this and... stupid ass pranks on a massive scale, because let's be honest, he wouldn't give them up. He just wouldn't kill people at the end (because it'd make his boyfriend sad).

fanfic writer ask game - director's commentary

[rosalette-roxburgh]

Wanted to make my own version

[ithinkabouttzu]

hello!

can i request a bob headcannon about the gn!reader having a cat that doesn't like the boys :)? feel free to skip this if you don't feel like writing it!

Easy co. reacting to their s/o having a cat that doesn’t like them!

a/n: Thank you for request love! i hope you enjoy!! 💗

genre: fluff!

warnings: swearing, a little jealousy?

description: Some of men from Easy reacting to their gn s/o having a cat that doesn’t like them!

taglist: @executethyself35 @linhkhanhcps @1waveshortofashipwreck @grumpy-liebgott @barbeygirl @samwinchesterslostshoe @ronsenthal @sweetxvanixlla @mstiemountainhop (If you want to be on this list, let me know!! :))

BoB masterlist

Dick Winters: Every time he’s at your place, he would just simply try to avoid your cat as much as possible. Like knowing that your cat doesn’t like him one bit, he’s not going to try and make friends with the little guy/girl. Maybe every once and while he’d buy your pet toys or treats for special occasions.

Lewis Nixon: It’s kinda pathetic how desperate he is to make your cat like him. Not because he likes cats a whole lot or anything but mostly because he wants to impress you. I could def see him whispering to your cat while you’re out of the room like, “hey you little fucker, why don’t you like me, huh?” He makes sure to get them a custom-made vat 69 chew toy.

Carwood Lipton: “Hey, you don’t have to be scared.” Unlike Winters he IS going to try and make friends with the little critter even after it’s been made clear that they don’t like him one bit lol. Everytime that he is over at your place he always greets your cat and immediately gets rejected by a hiss lol. He would sweetly talk to them when you’re sleeping like, “Your parent is the best person I know, you be good to them alright?”

Joe Toye: The feeling is surely mutual. You would probably think the feud between them two is hilarious. Like if your cat gives Joe that side eye look (that one all cats give) you better believe Joe is giving one right back to them. “Something is wrong with your cat, I think he/she’s plotting something evil.”

Joe Liebgott: He tries a good bit to be friends with your cat at first, but after a while he just learns to keep his distance after a good scratch on his arm. Even after that though you will always see Joe coming back to your place with treats, food, or toys. “I know you like me. You’re just trying to put up a front cuz’ i’m with your parent.”

Bill Guarnere: He has SERIOUS beef with your cat. Like the moment your cat even GLANCES at him he’s gonna say some dumb shit like, “Babe get your cat before he catches these hands” Lmaoo he’d never actually hurt your cat but he talks a big game to them alllll the time. Bill and your cat “act” like they don't like each other but then you’d see them secretly cuddling while you’re not paying attention.

George Luz: He’s kinda like Lip, willingly trying to play with your cat when they are just OVER it. Whenever the cat and him are alone it literally looks like the cat is babysitting Luz lmao. He would buy your cat a bunch of little fake rats and feather toys in hopes they would play with him. “Oh c’monn! You can’t act like you hate me forever!”

Bull Randleman: He’s gonna stay as far from the cat as possible. In all honesty, and he probably wouldn’t say this to you because he wouldn’t want you to get mad, but he HATES cats. 1. Because he’s allergic, 2. Because they’re always grumpy (In his words not mine.) He might pet cat a few times but that's about it.

Eugene Roe: “Don’t be afraid, I won’t hurt you I promise.” He’s so patient with your cat, it’s so freaking sweet. He doesn’t want to make your cat nervous or uncomfortable so he wouldn’t try pushing to play with him/her especially knowing that they don’t like him.

Floyd Talbert: He’s definitely gonna sit there and bribe your cat with treats for sure. Also saying shit like “You gotta start liking me someday, i’m gonna be your new dad soon” LMFAO. I have a feeling he would get oddly jealous over your cat if you were cuddling them and not him. “If you kiss them, you gotta kiss me too, yk?”

Skip muck: When you warn him that your cat isn’t very friendly and might get territorial his exact words are, “No way! I’m amazing with animals, practically a cat whisperer.” Pan to him a couple hours later keeping a three feet distance from your cat because it bit the shit out of his ankle and now he’s genuinely afraid of your cat. Let’s just say he’d keep his distance after that.

Don Malarkey: He would try being as friendly as possible with your cat (despite him being a very big dog person) at first, but once he realizes how much your cat actually hates him he gets kind of offended not gonna lie. “Honey, I’ve done almost everything to socialize with them, am I doing something wrong?”

Babe Heffron: He sneezes every time he’s around your cat soo much and he swears to you that he isn’t allergic. The beef all starts when he starts sneezing super hard around your place and it scares the fuck out of your cat. He doesn’t mean to antagonize them, but it just comes off that way with the loud ass sneezes, will buy a couple toys for them tho.

Shifty Powers: This man is the actual male version of snow white, so when you tell him your cat is a bit reactive and probably won’t like him he understands, but at the same time when he meets your cat he’s going to spend the rest of his night trying to get them to like him. (And it obviously works somehow because he’s an animal whisperer.)

Frank Perconte: “If that cat bites me or claws me, I'm swingin’.” Right from the moment he meets your cat he’s giving them the dirtiest looks EVER. Sometimes he feels like he’s definitely fighting for your attention whenever the cat is around. He might act like he’s your cat's biggest hater but in all honesty he loves them to death.

Ronald Speirs: He is ODDLY quiet around the cat. The only way I can describe the relationship is Brennan and Dale from Stepbrothers. They love each other, can't stand each other, but are also seen being together all the time? Both him and the cat will act like they don’t like eachother but they do.

Johnny Martin: He’s very willing to push for a relationship with your cat, even if they absolutely hate him. Mostly to make you happy and comfortable with them two being around each other. Whenever the cat hisses at him he loves to say that “they’re just warming up to me.” And it’s literally been 5 months LMAO.

Skinny Sisk: “Aw, aren’t you a little cutie?” The hate is so one-sided it’s horrible. He will desperately try to hangout with your cat while they actually want to bite his eyes out. “Here, let me feed them, maybe they’ll like me more if I do it.” Sweet baby is COMMITTED to making your cat like him.

Chuck Grant: Whenever he is at your place and sees your cat, he acts simply invisible. His reasoning is, if he acts like he isn't there then he practically is. He won’t go as far as to even look your cat in the eye. He might pet them once or twice but other than that he likes to keep his distance.

David Webster: He probably wants to read you an article on reactive cats and the proper way to fix the aggression coming from them of course. He wants to make sure your cat doesn't hate him for long. He would try playing a lot of calming music for animals and stuff like that when they are hanging out.

Buck Compton: He’s probably going to go out of his way to buy your cat all kinds of stuff like toys and treats but as far as interacting goes he doesn’t like to be around them for too long (especially when you aren’t there with him too lmao) he’s scared of your cat but definitely won’t admit that to you haha.

Again, thank you for requesting! If you enjoyed, make sure to like or reblog!! 💗

[yourlocaltreesimp]

All Chained Up

ACU masterlist

Last Chapter (n/a) ੈ✩‧₊˚ Next chapter

Tw: None

Chapter 1: Days drift past

At the beginning of every good story, there’s two key things. The first being nothing, the way of simplistic sleepy life that days drift past in a haze. Small things like running around with your friends as children, staining your pants with grass as you tumble through weedy fields or stacks of work and the cramp in your wrist as you write… minute things that fill up time. But then comes something that disrupts the simplicity. Something that holds your comfort captive. It hangs over the characters in whatever book read or game played until the issue is resolved with a fitting amount of fighting. You supposed your life was much the same, at least half of it. Days slipped past your fingers in paperwork and assignments, unable to break from the chains you found yourself wrapped in. Bills needed to be paid and there were fewer ways to do that. At some point, you stopped waiting for something to change. You stopped waiting for some villain to make themselves known. You stopped waiting for your story to begin. The tired sigh that racked your body was one you were well acquainted with. The cycle of burnout and exhaustion never truly left- if there was anything hanging over your head, it’d be that, not some petty villain. The thought almost made you laugh, the exhale you let out amused. You got into bed, knowing that the next day you’d be met with the same things and the same people. The same lines and patterns of your days. You always felt out of place, like some bird trapped in a cage, that you were one of a kind. But surely if you had that thought, you couldn’t be that different… but that nagging feeling gnawed at your ribs like carnal fear. Something you’d forgotten- something you yourself couldn’t rectify.

You were not met with your bedroom when you woke up. In fact, you weren’t sure if you were met with much of anything. The world before you was blank and cool. An endless expanse of darkness that nothing could cut through. Your joints were stiff as you moved them, grasping at the empty space in front of you.

“What?” Your voice was quiet, as if the sound did not reflect. It felt like you were moving through water to look around you, resistance meeting your movements. You searched for anything aside from yourself, but when you turned, you weren’t met with much. More darkness and a small ball of light, no larger than a marble, dimly glowing. It hummed quietly when you held it in your hands, something familiar that you couldn’t quite recall. But you weren’t given the time to consider it. Instead, you heard voices. Small whispering chitters- overlapping one another in a wave of sound you couldn’t decipher.

“They’re here! I cant bel- We’ve missed you. W- You won’t leave again wil- The King. Get the King.” The voices cut after the final utter, and you were left with far more questions than ideal. They hissed and whispered, so close to being legible and yet so muffled. The whispers only increased in frequency and volume until one cold voice cut across them all.

“Quiet.” His voice was that of such authority that you yourself felt small in comparison. It pierced through you, cracking your ribs and heading straight to where you were most vulnerable. His voice crackled like static, something so unnatural. The symphony of little voices fell quiet as asked. You turned to face this man, the one who they called ‘the King’. His hair was a snow white fluffy as tufts of it brushed past his cheekbones, skin that of a pale grey. His face was sharp, as if carved from marble, perfect and smooth. His eyes were what caught you. For they held no sclera and were instead glowing vats of red. The kind that put roses to shame for their redness, and yet were just as captivating. He examined you as you did him, though his expression was that of utter reverence, as though he was looking at god themself. The sharpness you saw softened, his lips parting and angular eyebrows furrowing in something of concern. He stepped forward but you stepped back.

“It really is you.” His voice no longer hissed, instead it was clear and quiet- a secret shared between the two of you. You and this man you did not know. You and this man who has chosen to show himself as a threat.

This man who called out to you so wholly that it was terrifying. They say animals will most often not understand nor recognize themselves when met with a reflection, so perhaps this was the inverse.

“You’ve returned to me” He sounds relieved, albeit crazed. The glint in his eyes the same as an addict awaiting their next hit, and you fear he’s found it in you.

“What do you…” Your voice fails you and you trail off, caught off guard as he takes another step forward.

“Oh my dearest… You can’t have forgotten me, can you?” He smirks, his voice curling in a way that has you questioning if he was taunting you. But the amusement fades when his examination sees that you do not look upon him with the same familiarity. You’re scared. A deer caught in a trap with no way to escape, only to await the inevitable. “No matter. You will remember soon.” He returns to half talking to himself and you, nodding to comfort himself. He fiddles with something in his hands, marbles, you think. They faintly glow as he rolls them from palm to palm with a stretching smile, baring his teeth. They vary in colour slightly, from magenta, to lime, to cerulean, each humming a slightly different tune, winding to make a harmony. You count 9 marbles, each clearly meant to mean more than what they currently are… but the number holds no significance.

“I kept them safe for you my dear… But I will admit I've had my fun. Don’t fret, I haven't caused too much harm… yet.” He smiles, a sly grin as he holds them out to you, along with your own small one you disregarded until now. And as they pile into your hand, you feel you slip past yourself, and away from your own body.

[kerosene-in-a-blender]

With the most recent Midst episode, I'm stuck by how much the Trust just eats its young.

Lark was 13 and already working in testing at Loxlee Lights when Maximilian Loxlee killed her mom/she killed Maximilian Loxlee, and the way she talked about it makes it sound like she'd already been there for a while, long enough to notice the patterns in Maximilian's visits and how he interacted with her mother. Meaning that she was at most a preteen and already pushed into the workforce (in an environment with open vats of Fold concentrate), presumably to work off a Caenum debt. Backpack also falls into this as she's a teenager and also already working as Pom's media intern.

Phineas tells us about how the Unlifts and other children taken in by the Family were presented with a bill at the end of every day detailing how much they "owed" society for their care, while knowing that the biggest debt they could possibly accrue was already on their accounts. These children were also constantly pushed and tested and interviewed to find out what they were good at, how best society could use them once they got pushed out into the world with their debts.

Even Spahr, who was, presumably, born with Valor, most likely joined the Company in his mid-teens, based on him already being Prime Adsecla when he Unlifted Phineas, and him having been appointed Prime Consector at about age 25. Spahr, 30ish now, gave half his life (and the half where you're figuring out who you are to boot), to an institution that readily hung him out to dry that moment it would take any heat off of them. And s3e3 showed how badly this effected Spahr.

Something about the way the Trust is organized and how it conceptualizes of the ideas of Valor and Caenum, and debt and wealth incentivizes society (or at least those on top of it) to drive their young people into the ground.

[thefruitbin]

Im gunna be real I prefer jokers backstory to not be known. I personally dont see the ace chemicals backstory as canon, nor do i see joker killing jason todd as canon (since.. people literally voted to kill a child instead of a literal murderer 😭 joker himself would find this ironic like what)

Idk i dont like how DC keeps trying to de-mystify joker, or make him rlly gritty and edgy (same with batman, bats is meant to be compassionate, not an asshole!!!) like wtf happened to jokers clown schtick, hes ripping his face off and its like. Why is that actually boring? The writers keep trying to one up each other in who can make joker do the “darkest” shit and its so predictable and boring. Where is the funny clown. The funny idiot smart genius clown weirdo villain. The guy who curates his appearance and crimes?

The creators themselves say there isn’t a definitive backstory, which i much rather prefer. idk why but the vat of chemicals story being seen as his origin story just doesnt sit right with me. I like a joker who deadass has to put on his makeup, or fuck it id rather not know why he has pale skin. I like the idea that hes as human as batman (i always thought it cool that they both dont use powers! Especially since batman is so adamant on preferring not to have powers anyway). Ppl say “oh but hes scarier if hes kinda inhuman or just a killer” or somn and its like, isnt it scarier that he is human? killers in the real world are human, and so is joker. U cant change that. even if joker himself loathes the idea that hes fallible. Isnt it scarier to think wow. That rlly hes as human as any of us and yet he does the things he does? That the range of humanity extends to cruelty?

“They've given many origins of the Joker, how he came to be. That doesn't seem to matter—just how he is now. I never intended to give a reason for his appearance. We discussed that and Bill [Finger] and I never wanted to change it at that time. I thought—and he agreed—that it takes away some of the essential mystery."

– Jerry Robinson, the Joker's creator

[lenisoldi]

heeey! could you do headcanons of Doc Roe, Webster and Malarkey with a short girl? 🫶🏻

Heyy thx for your request!

I don’t really know what you expect but I tried. Hope you like it 💕

Web and Malark are at the end

Love ya💕

BoB HCs with a short fem!reader

Masterlist

Doc:

Our sweet Gene would never complain or joke about you height

Loves to rest his head on your while you are cuddling

Wrapped his arms around your shoulders while standing anywhere like drying a meeting or something

Toye:

Joe is much taller than you and he always reminds you of that

„You know that I love you, right, little one?!”

Will rest his head on yours, just to annoy you

Loves when you two are holding hands so he can see how small you hand actually is

Bill:

He’s always the big spoon

Bill is always lifting you up and carrying you around, he loves telling you how light you are

Loves to annoy you by putting things everywhere so you can’t reach them

Like Joe Toye he is teasing you for your shortness

Winters:

Gives you kissed on you forehead or your hairline every time he says goodbye

Is placing his head on you head while cooking

Loves when you’re watering his military jacket, which his way to big for you

Calls you „little one” or „my little sweetheart”

Nix:

Hides his Vat 69 everywhere where you can’t reach it which results a lot of fighting once you find it

Just lifts you up and takes you to his bedroom when there is too much fighting to let off his anger in the form of sex

Calls you „dwarf” or „little princess”

Will probably complain about your shortness while he’s drunk but would regret everything he said when he’s sober again

Luz:

Makes jokes about ‘you being easy to pick up’ or that ‘everyone could steal you by picking you up’

Calls you “shorty”, “munchkin” or “shortcake”

Comments your height every time he get something for you from a high spot you can’t reach

Lieb:

“My little doll”

Like Bill he loves to lift you up and carry you around even if you don’t really want it

Also loves to lift you from the ground while hugging or cuddling

He WILL use you as an armrest

Pulls you into his lap easily to cuddle even if you fight against it

Web:

Loves to you while you lie snuggled up to his chest

Lifts you up and throws you over his shoulder when you two are fighting and he’s had enough (like Nix) (does not happen often)

Always calls you “little shark” or “little fish”

Likes to see the differences between your hand and his hand

Malark:

Lifts you up and whirls you around for now reason when he’s bored

Keeps calling you “little bear” or “my little unicorn”

Buys you a big teddy to cuddle with while he’s not home

[idontknowreallywhy]

An Eyebrow-Razing Incident?

Part 3

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Part 1 here

Part 2 here

Virgil may have gone to the dark side…

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Admittedly leaving the broken apart kiln open to the elements while he ran back to the villa to announce that The Barbecue would be today, at lunchtime and then not returning to it until after his flight to the mainland for urgent meat supplies was… a tactical error.

One of their frequent three-minute tropical rainstorms had dumped its load on the island in his absence. Perhaps he’d have made it back in time if he hadn’t made a detour to pick up a vat of heavy duty antihistamine cream for his itchy, well, Everything.

As it was, the beautiful black gold was more than a little dampened by the experience and for several minutes, so was its creator.

To add further insult, the devilish little creature, or creatures had even snacked on the skin beneath his eyebrows and ever since desperately rubbing the cream into those the hairs just weren’t lying flat as they should. And that made him itch almost as much as the bites did.

After precisely applying the Jeff Tracy fix to the errant pile of fuel and getting black dust all over his TBTwo-green bootlaces, Virgil got a grip of himself.

Even damp fuel could be persuaded into flame with enough accelerant. The show would go on and nobody need know.

He loaded up a sack of coal and hefted it to his shoulder like a particularly miserly Santa.

It had to be a food grade accelerant, though. Rocket fuel had a certain… tang…to it that even that spray on taste-bud torturer wouldn’t conceal. Grandma would be on to him quick as a flash.

No. He had to be cunning about this. What would Grandpa have done?

Ethanol was flammable…

At high enough concentration anyway, about 80% should do it. Pity none of them were habitual vodka drinkers. Well, maybe only for current purposes.

The craft beer wasn’t strong enough. And Virgil had plans for that which didn’t involve throwing it on a fire.

Gordon’s tropical-flavoured rum collection was more sugar and water than alcohol. Similar story re Alan’s alcopops.

Scott… Scott had whisky. Cask strength. Expensive.

Very expensive.

But also very flammable…

He deposited the sack next to the newly constructed, gas-free, poolside barbecue.

It was a terrible idea. Big brother would kill him if he found out.

But Grandma’s disappointed face would kill him more slowly and painfully.

His heart told him she would forgive him in time and that he should just come clean.

His itchy eyebrows said BURN IT ALL.

He scratched at them again. Three perfect dark hairs came off on his fingertips.

Horrified, he applied more cream then stashed the tub back in his pocket before strolling casually into the house, grabbed a large bottle of cola from the kitchen and sauntered past the rest of his beloved family who were huddled together in the lounge bickering over a notebook of some kind.

So focussed was Virgil on appearing natural he didn’t realise until after he was halfway up the stairs that Gordon had slammed the notebook closed as he’d entered, and had had a look of intense innocence on his face.

And Scott… his bestest big bro Scooter, who had been a fraction slower to achieve the nothing-to-see-here expression, had been clutching a fistful of hundred dollar bills.

Those only ever made an appearance for two reasons:

Either Virgil was missing an 11am poker session, or Gordon was taking bets on whether he was going to pull this off.

And Scott was betting against him.

Virgil wasn’t offended in the slightest. But his eyebrows screamed for vengeance.

Virgil waited for the bickering to recommence before quietly doubling back and sneaking his way into his way into Dad’s office. That was where Scott hid the really good stuff.

Sure enough, in a small cabinet in the corner were four beautifully sculpted glass bottles. Only the smallest amount missing from the first, it didn’t come out often, and so it wasn’t safe to take that one. Instead he eased the bottle from the very back and studied it. It whispered to him in numbers with too many zeros.

Pffft, Mr Billionaire of the Year could afford another when he eventually noticed.

But if Virgil walked past with the ornate bottle he’d notice rather too soon.

He had a plan for that though.

Unfortunately there was no sink in here so Virgil downed one and a half litres of sickly sweet caffeine before inflicting the last quarter on a slightly dry-looking pot plant.

Bleugh.

The speed and steadiness with which he decanted the whisky would have earned him a surgical scholarship on the spot.

The glass bottle was returned to the cabinet. The cola bottle was stripped of its paper label and a new one proclaiming “Bessie’s Artisinal All-Natural BBQ lighter fluid” in a somewhat hurried calligraphic script was stuck in its place.

The Perfect Crime.

Next Step: The Perfect Barbecue.

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