#Uncle Marco tells the best stories!

[mjrtaurus]

Marco overseeing Gabe when he's in the medical tent during the first stages of his treatment. The poor kid is scared and clammy, clutching his favorite stuffed alligator like a life ring and staining the sheets with his tears. So Marco distracts him with a story about the first time he treated Crocodile when they were apprentices on the Moby Dick. It was an experience that made Marco realize he might have what it takes to be a doctor, even long before he got his Devil Fruit.

If there’s anything to be known about Marco- aside from the whole phoenix thing- it’s that his bedside manner with kids is top notch. His storytelling skills are incredible, and in true bird fashion, he does amazing vocal impressions.

The first time he treated Crocodile was for a sprained ankle, and the story behind it was always a fond one.

He tells Gabe about how one of the islands they used to dock at had a type of marine iguana that got as big as mountain wolves, and how- when he was thirteen and Crocodile was fourteen- they tried to befriend one.

He gets on the foot of the bed and lays on it like the lizard had on the rocks that day, tells him about how it turned to look at Crocodile when he got too close… and- with a phoenix fire demonstration- snorted sea salt right in his face!

He drops off the end of the bed and to the floor, like Crocodile fell right on his butt in the shallows that day, his ankle turning wrong in the process.

Gabriel is shrieking with so much laughter that his feathers are all fluffed up.

[kmomof4]

A Swan Family Christmas: A Christmas Fic in the Universe of A Family Affair

We finally made it, y'all!!! Ohhhhhhh, I've been sooooo anxious and excited to share this fic with y'all!!! I hope you enjoy reading it half as much as I enjoyed writing it!!

If you are not familiar with the series, it was inspired by The O'Hurley's by Nora Roberts, which I then adapted to Once Upon a Time. A Family Affair features the family of Marco and Beverly Swan- their first born David and triplet daughters Regina, Emma, and Ruby.

Love Between the Pages tells the story of Emma and Killian Jones. Killian is a bestselling biographer and he arrives at Emma’s horse farm in rural Virginia to interview her for his biography on her late husband Neal Cassidy, NASCAR darling who died 5yrs ago on the track. Falling in love with her was not part of the plan.

Dance With the Gypsy tells the story of Broadway star Ruby and how she falls in love with Graham Humbert, the producer of her new show, Secrets.

Clipping an Angel's Wings tells the story of Hollywood star Regina and Robin Locksley, the PI she hires to protect her from an unstable fan.

And finally, A Spy Finds a Home, David and Mary Margaret’s story. Dr. Mary Margaret Blanchard hires David to find her parents, scientists who have been kidnapped by a terrorist group. Once all the dust settles, Mary Margaret brings David back to the family he left many years ago.

It's not necessary for you to have read the other fics in the series to enjoy this, but this fic does reference people and circumstances introduced in the other fics.

And now, to give credit where credit is due. All the love and thanks in the world to Joni and Marta, my FABULOUS betas. This fic wouldn't be here without them, so please give them a hand...👏🏻 And second to Kit, the creator of the INCREDIBLE artwork up above!! Isn't it AWESOME???!!!! I could stare at it FOREVER!!!! Thank you so SO much, babe!!!

Thank you all so much for reading!!!

Summary: A year after Regina and Robin's wedding, the entire Swan, Jones, and Humbert clan descend on Emma and Killian's Virginia farm for Christmas!

Rating: G Total Christmas fluff ahead!!

Words: 7100

On ao3, if that's your preference.

Tagging the usuals. Please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed.

@jrob64 @teamhook @winterbaby89 @hollyethecurious @artistic-writer @xarandomdreamx @undercaffinatednightmare @the-darkdragonfly @stahlop @superchocovian @pirateprincessofpizza @tiganasummertree @anmylica @cosette141 @motherkatereloyshipper @zaharadessert @jonesfandomfanatic @ultraluckycatnd @jennjenn615 @allons-y-to-hogwarts-713 @kymbersmith-90 @booksteaandtoomuchtv @wistfulcynic @mie779 @snowbellewells @lfh1226-linda @aprilqueen84 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @pirateherokillian @elfiola @ilovemesomekillianjones @justanother-unluckysoul @poptart-cat-78 @myfearless-love @goforlaunchcee @searchingwardrobes @gingerpolyglot @gingerchangeling @djlbg @cocohook38 @cs-rylie @thisonesatellite @donteattheappleshook @deckerstarblanche @veryverynotgoodwrites @wefoundloveunderthelight @fleurdepetite @alexa-fangirl-forever @bluewildcatfanatic @qualitycoffeethings

Under the cut, unless Tumblr ate it.

Christmas was just a couple of days away. Emma, Killian, and Henry were feverishly getting everything ready to host the entire extended Swan and Jones families. They were expecting a total of sixteen extra guests for the holiday and excitement was running very high. 

They didn’t usually have much snow in December, but this year, they were predicting around three inches on Christmas Eve. Henry had never seen a white Christmas, and with all his aunts, uncles, and cousins, in addition to his grandparents coming, this was sure to be the best Christmas ever!

Henry peeked into his baby sister’s bedroom, not surprised to see her awake and standing in her crib. Henry grinned and came in, followed closely by Shep.

“Eny, Eny,” Hope babbled as her big brother approached.

“Do you know what today is, Hope?” Henry asked his sister. “Everyone’s coming today! Mimi and Papaw, Aunt Ruby, Uncle Graham and Poppa, and you’ll get to meet your baby cousins in person, Aunt Regina and Uncle Robin, Aunt M’s and Uncle David, Aunt Elsa and Uncle Liam, Aaron and Dale, and Grandpa Nemo!”

Henry lowered the side of the crib and lifted Hope out, setting her on her feet on the floor. She wasn’t walking independently yet, but she was close and Henry just knew that she’d do it sometime in the next few days while everyone was here. He stood behind her and held onto her hands raised in the air as she started toward the door of her bedroom.

He followed along behind her as they toddled the short distance to their parents’ room. Once they reached the door, Henry knocked.

“Mom? Dad?” he asked, opening the door slightly. Shep pushed the door open the rest of the way with his nose.

“Mamamamamamamama,” Hope babbled. “Dadadadadadadada.” 

The lights were still off, but the sun was poking through the blinds. Their dad sat up, his mouth opening on a huge yawn and swung his legs off the side of the bed, motioning for them to be quiet.

“Mom’s still asleep,” he whispered. “Let’s let her sleep just a little more. Go downstairs with Hope, Henry, and I’ll be down in just a minute to get breakfast started.”

Henry nodded and turned Hope around, back toward the door of the bedroom. As soon as they were gone, Killian leaned over to Emma, pressing a kiss to her brow and whispering in her ear.

“You can sleep for a little while longer, babe. I’ll send Henry up to get you once breakfast is ready.”

All he got was a muffled Mmmph in reply. Killian chuckled and made his way to the bathroom. A few minutes later, he came down the stairs and entered the breakfast room to find Henry entertaining his sister in her high chair. Killian smiled and pulled out eggs and the pancake batter he’d whipped up the night before. It only took a few minutes to cook the eggs and start on the pancakes.

“Go wake your mom, Henry,” he said, plating up the first batch of pancakes. Shep sat very attentively and patiently at Killian’s feet as he cooked, waiting to see if his pleading gaze would get him a breakfast treat.

“Don’t even think about it,” he told him with a frown. When Shep’s tail started to wag, Killian sighed. “If there’s any left after Mom eats, I might let you have one.” Shep wagged his tail even harder and Killian rolled his eyes.

By the time Emma and Henry came back down, there was a full plate of pancakes on the table and Killian was cutting one up for Hope, who’d already started on the eggs on her plate.

“So what do we have to do today, Mom?” Henry asked before stuffing a huge bite of eggs in his mouth. Killian gave him a disapproving look.

“You’ve been a big help the last few days, Henry, so there’s really not that much left to do,” Emma said. “All the sheets need to be washed and the airbeds blown up. Oh, and we should make sure there are plenty of clean towels for everyone.” Emma sat back, her face a little stunned. “I still can’t believe everyone’s coming,” she breathed. “This will probably never happen again.” Her eyes sparkled with excitement as her gaze met Killian’s and Henry’s. “This is gonna be the best Christmas ever!”

Killian reached over and covered her hand with his. “Yes, it is,” he said, smiling. “I’m so glad Liam, Elsa, the boys, and Nemo could all come.”

Henry all but bounced in his seat. “When will they get here?”

“Let’s see,” Emma said, opening her phone and checking all the flight times. “Regina and Robin won’t be here until tonight. Their flight doesn’t leave for a couple more hours yet, and Mimi and Papaw are with them. Ruby, Graham, the twins, and Poppa should be here around three. David and M’s, and Liam, Elsa, the boys, and Grandpa Nemo are all getting in around two. You and Dad will go to the airport to pick everyone up, and Ruby and the rest should be here by the time you get back. Regina has a limo bringing them out.”

They finished their breakfast quickly, Henry chatting animatedly about all the adventures he, Aaron, and Dale would have while they were here. He’d met Liam, Elsa, their boys, and Grandpa Nemo almost two years ago when Killian had taken them to meet his family once he got his finished manuscript sent off to his publisher. The three boys were only a year apart, with Henry in the middle, and they hit it off wonderfully. They kept in touch with Facetime and visits during the summer, but Henry was excited for them to enjoy the farm in the winter, especially with the snow expected.

Once the kitchen was cleaned up, everyone went their separate ways, marching orders in hand. Hope had been deposited in her room to play until Henry was done blowing up the air mattresses for his cousins in his bedroom, and in the downstairs study for Uncle Liam and Aunt Elsa. Emma was in the old farmhouse collecting all the sheets off the beds and getting them in the laundry while Killian and Shep headed out to the barn just to check with Leroy that the farmhands and horses had everything they needed for the next few days. With all the company expected, not to mention the holiday itself, there wasn’t going to be time for him to be doing anything out in the barn.

The last book he’d written on Henry’s father, Neal Cassidy, had been his biggest bestseller yet. He’d enjoyed a relatively lucrative career up to that point, between being an investigative journalist for the Boston Globe for several years before turning to writing official biographies for a living. But his book on Cassidy had exceeded all expectations and had brought in a windfall that had allowed him and Emma to not only really fix up the old farmhouse, and hire full time farm hands with Leroy as part time manager, but also to build themselves a new house for their growing family. So now with two large houses on the farm, they could host their very large extended family for the holidays.

After talking with Leroy and seeing that everything was under control, not that he expected anything different, Killian returned to the house to get his white chicken chili in the two slow cookers before heading upstairs to get Hope dressed. It was going to be a long and busy day.

~*~*~

When Henry and Killian arrived home from the airport with David, Mary Margaret, Liam, Elsa, Aaron, Dale, and Grandpa Nemo in tow, true chaos descended. The boys immediately retreated to their shared bedroom, but were quickly summoned back to the family room and kitchen to greet Ruby, Graham, Maurice- who the kids called Poppa- and their new baby cousins, Hunter and Diana. Everyone was thrilled to see the babies, but the six-month-old twins didn’t hold the attention of the older boys very long, so after a round of hugs and making cute faces at the babies, they were off again.

Everyone else gathered in the kitchen, catching up with each other’s goings on in the last year since they’d all been together for Robin and Regina’s wedding. Liam and Elsa’s farm was flourishing, and they were thinking about branching into cattle farming. They already harvested corn for grain and hay, in addition to the apple orchard that was their main crop, and had one cow for milk for the family in addition to a few horses, but the income cattle farming would generate wasn’t anything to shake a stick at and could set the farm up for generations to come. 

Ruby was back on stage with Secrets after having the twins, and Graham was as busy as ever scouting for and signing new talent, as well as further expanding Humbert Records’ Broadway presence. 

Grandpa Nemo and Poppa were simply enjoying their retirement and spending lots of time with their respective grandchildren.

David and Mary Margaret had gotten married the previous summer in New York before moving to Chicago. David couldn’t bring himself to lie to his family about how he’d met Mary Margaret and how he’d come into possession of a very large estate outside of the Windy City. So, he told them the truth about what he did during the decade he was away from them, in the very vaguest of terms. They knew he was an American spy, and that the estate where they now lived had been left to him by his recruiter and mentor. He wanted to hold on to the last thing in existence that tied him to Lance, so once he and Mary Margaret tied the knot, they’d relocated there permanently. 

Now David was dipping his toes into the songwriting business, mostly due to Mary Margaret’s encouragement. Graham and Poppa’s ears both perked at that little tidbit, but David told them not to get their hopes up. He wasn’t interested in singing himself, but might be interested in partnering with someone. Graham told David to get in touch with him after the holidays and he’d see about finding a partner for him.

After getting her parents back, taking some very well deserved time off to plan her wedding, and the wedding itself, Mary Margaret had decided that she wasn’t interested in being sequestered in the laboratory again. Once they settled in Chicago, she’d accepted a teaching position at Northwestern and was loving every minute of it. She enjoyed engaging and challenging young minds in the principles of physics and had trouble seeing herself ever going back to the lab.

Once everyone was caught up, they called the boys down to the kitchen for dinner. With two large pots filled with Killian’s white chicken chili recipe, there was plenty to go around, as well as for their missing family members once they arrived in a couple of hours.

Dinner was loud and happy with about half a dozen different conversations going on at the same time. Killian caught Emma’s eye and wasn’t surprised to see the tears sparkling in the corner of them. He felt a surge of love and contentment inside him to be here right now with almost all of their loved ones beside them.

Killian smiled and mouthed I love you to his beloved. She smiled and mouthed the same thing right back to him.

~*~*~

The next day was Christmas Eve, and the weatherman might find himself unemployed, after his prediction of three inches was so far off from the actual snowfall the farm received overnight. Henry, Aaron, and Dale pressed their faces to the window in Henry’s room, their mouths hanging open and eyes wide as saucers at the blanket of white outside. 

The snow was high, and the distance to the old farmhouse was an unblemished carpet that the boys couldn’t wait to get into. After standing there stunned for several minutes, they all scrambled to get into their snow suits and downstairs into the drifts outside, not even bothering with breakfast, Shep hot on their heels.

An hour later, shouts from outside woke Robin in the other house. When Emma, Killian, Henry and Hope moved into the new house, the old farmhouse had undergone a full renovation, bringing it up to 21st century standards and making it company ready. So while all the children and their parents were in the new house, the rest of the family was in the old farmhouse. Robin looked over at Regina, still snoring softly. She was utterly breathtaking in the morning light, but Robin’s brow furrowed as he wondered how she was still asleep. Even when she was in between projects, she could never sleep past eight. He glanced at his phone on the nightstand and saw it was nearly 8:30 in the morning. It had been a very long and exhausting day yesterday, between the cross country flight and the late night spent with her sisters, so he wasn’t going to begrudge her sleeping in a bit.

He rose from the bed and went to the window to see the boys and the dog playing in the drifts that covered the front lawn. Robin grinned at their antics before grabbing his robe and heading down to the kitchen to start the coffee maker.

It was almost another thirty minutes later that Regina finally came down, yawning hugely. 

“There’s my Sleeping Beauty,” Robin said, rising from his seat at the bar, placing his hand on her waist and leaning in to kiss her cheek. “Did you sleep ok?”

“I did,” she said, “just not enough of it.” She made her way to the coffee maker as Robin shot a speculative look at Beverly, who simply raised her eyebrows at Regina’s comment.

“Where is everyone?” Regina asked, sitting down next to Robin at the bar and leaning her head against his shoulder.

“Mary Margaret, I believe, is in the new house getting things together for the gingerbread cookoff,” Beverly said as she cooked some eggs for Regina. “The men are all outside playing in the snow with the boys,” Beverly chuckled. 

“I wanted to wait until you woke up before heading outside myself,” Robin said, kissing Regina on the brow.

“Mmmm,” Regina hummed, eyes shut while taking a sip of her coffee. As soon as she did, she grimaced in distaste and opened her eyes. “Eww… What's wrong with this coffee? Does the Keurig need descaling or something?”

Robin turned confused eyes on his bride as Beverly brought a plate of scrambled eggs over.

“The coffee tastes fine to me,” he commented, taking another sip from his mug. “What does it taste like to you?”

Regina shook her head before speaking. “I don’t know,” she said, the grimace still on her face. “But I don’t like it, whatever it is.” She took a bite of the eggs her mother had made and had barely swallowed the first bite, when her hand flew to her mouth and she lunged for the half bath on the other side of the kitchen.

Beverly gave her a loving yet stern look after she came back out of the bathroom, followed closely by Robin.

“I think it’s time you took a pregnancy test, Regina,” she said.

The look on Regina’s face as she looked at Robin, nearly made Beverly’s heart break. The fear mixed with hope in her daughter’s eyes was mirrored by her husband, although much more hope than fear in his case, and Beverly lifted a silent prayer for them both and the potential addition to their family.

“Here, try this,” Beverly urged, placing some toast on the bar as they came back and sat down. “Might help settle your stomach.”

“Just the thought that I might be pregnant,” Regina murmured, “makes my stomach roll even more.” Robin sat down next to her and rubbed circles into her back as she took a bite. When she was able to swallow with no ill effects, Regina smiled. “Do you really think it’s possible?”

“You’ve slept more in the last week than I think I’ve ever seen you sleep,” Beverly observed, “plus the coffee tasting off and not being able to even take a bite of scrambled eggs without throwing it back up?” She shrugged. “It’s certainly suggestive.”

“She’s right, Regina,” Robin added.

“I don’t want to wait until after Christmas to take a test,” Regina said, softly. “Do you think Emma might have one?”

“Chances are probably decent,” Beverly said, nodding. “Finish eating that first and we can go over and ask.”

Regina hurriedly finished eating the toast- it really did help her stomach- and then they all trooped through the snow, carefully avoiding the gigantic snow fort and snowman the boys and men were busy building. The kitchen in the new house was a hive of activity, with Mary Margaret, Ruby, and Elsa helping Emma get all the ingredients out for the gingerbread bake-off happening later that morning and afternoon. The participants were separated by household, so there’d be five different gingerbread recipes being baked with Mimi, Papaw, Grandpa Nemo, and Poppa judging the results.

Regina made her way over to Emma and pulled her aside.

“Do you, uhhh,” Regina began, picking at the hem of the sweater she wore and not meeting Emma’s eyes, “have a pregnancy test that I could use?”

Emma’s eyes widened, and Regina blushed furiously.

“Really? Are you serious?” Emma asked incredulously before schooling her features. “Yes, I do, actually. Come on.” She grabbed her sister by the arm and motioned to Ruby to follow them upstairs.

They got to the master bath, and Emma and Ruby waited in the bedroom while Regina took the test. Once done, Regina came back into the room, taking a deep shaky breath.

She sat on the bed in between her sisters and looked down at her clasped hands.

“Mom said I’d been sleeping more than she’s ever seen,” Regina murmured. “The coffee this morning was awful, and I was sick when she cooked me plain scrambled eggs.” She shrugged. “So she said I should take a test.”

Emma placed her arm around Regina’s shoulders. “Are you late?” she asked.

“Not technically,” she replied with a shrug. “Not yet. My cycle’s never been exact, and a day or two off in either direction is normal.” She looked at her sisters. “So I wouldn’t have bothered for at least another week.” She took a deep breath, trying to keep her tumultuous feelings in check. She took both her sisters' hands in her own as they waited.

The timer went off, and Regina could feel the blood drain from her face. Ruby and Emma squeezed her hands in reassurance.

“You can do this, Regina,” Ruby encouraged her. “We’re right behind you.”

Regina rose on shaky legs and walked into the bathroom. A moment later, Emma and Ruby heard a loud sob and ran to their sister. She stood in front of the sink, holding on to the edge for dear life with the test in front of her, Pregnant showing clearly in the window. Ruby and Emma wrapped Regina in their arms, tears flowing freely from all three.

Emma was the first to get herself under control enough to speak. 

“Congratulations, Mom,” she hiccupped through her tears. 

The appellation made Regina dissolve into fresh tears.

“I never thought…” she gasped in between sobs. “Oh, God! Everything I took to get on the plane yesterday! What if…?”

“Do not even think about that, Regina,” Ruby urged her. “Do you know how many unsuspecting moms drink alcohol, or take medications, or do things that aren’t considered safe in pregnancy? And their babies turn out just fine. Your little one will be completely perfect. You mark my words.”

Regina nodded, tears still tracking down her face. She pulled out her phone and sent a text to Robin before hugging her sisters close again.

“Thank you,” she breathed. “I love you both so much.”

“Love you, too.”

“Love you, three.”

~*~*~

Robin felt a vibration in his pocket and pulled out his phone to see a 👶🏻 in a text from Regina. He surged to his feet and ran for the stairs. When Emma and Ruby had gone upstairs with Regina, he stayed behind to give the sisters the privacy he was sure Regina appreciated. He may be the potential father, but her sisters had been the ones who’d been with her through all of it and letting them be the first to know seemed like the least he could do. Especially since they were both mothers themselves and had been through this before.

He came into the bedroom to see the three of them caught up in a three way embrace, tears tracking down their faces, and beaming smiles on them all. His own smile broke through as they let go of one another. Regina ran for him. He caught her and swung her around as Emma and Ruby left them alone.

Robin set her back down and planted a hard kiss on her lips, even as delighted giggles spilled from his love’s mouth. He held her tightly, burying his face in the side of her neck. His face and neck were wet from where her tear-stained face had rubbed up against his, and Robin could feel the tears collecting in his own eyes. He pulled back just a bit and rested his forehead against hers.

“I assume it was positive,” he quipped drily.

A bark laugh escaped Regina. “Yes,” she confirmed. “It was positive.” 

Robin tightened his arms around her and kissed her gently. “So, when are you due?”

She pulled back completely and picked up her phone. Opening her period tracker app, she calculated her due date. 

“August 29th.” She caught her bottom lip with her teeth as she looked at him. He gathered her back in his arms, hugging her tightly.

“Oh, Regina,” he sighed. “I’m so happy.” He could feel her deep inhale as he held her, but she didn’t exhale right away. He pulled back again to look into her eyes. “What is it?”

She swallowed hard, and the tearful happiness in her eyes disappeared to be replaced by a nervousness he hadn’t seen since she’d told him about her history with Samdi Facillier.

“If… if something happens…” She tripped over her words and understanding came over him.

He met her gaze unflinchingly and tightened his arms around her.

“I told you when I asked you to marry me, that you were first. Always and forever,” he assured her. “That if we never had children, you were the only thing I needed. Everything else, we would take as it came.”

Another sob escaped her, and Robin gathered her close again, kissing her on the forehead. “I love you, Regina. And nothing will ever change that.”

~*~*~

The snowball war to end all snowball wars was going on outside with the vast majority of the family taking part. The babies were down for afternoon naps, and all the gingerbread was baked, cooled, and ready for decorating. Except for the gingerbread cake Elsa planned to bake while everyone else was decorating their creations. Regina, Beverly, and Emma were the only three members of the family who weren’t outside romping in the winter wonderland.

Emma suggested they get themselves cups of hot cocoa, and go sit in the gazebo that was part of the wraparound front porch to watch the shenanigans going on outside. The ladies agreed.

They bundled up, grabbed their mugs with the steaming hot beverages and emerged onto the front porch. They didn’t know who was keeping score, but it was obviously a free-for-all and every man for himself. 

All except the young boys. 

They seemed to be a well-oiled machine, taking cover behind the walls of the snow fort they’d spent that morning building right on the edge of the tree line so they couldn’t be ambushed from behind. 

The rest of their family was spread out over the no man's land between the two houses. From where the three women sat, they could see Henry, Aaron, and Dale’s heads pop up occasionally from their fort, sending their projectiles toward wherever their target had sought to hide. 

Ruby was behind the giant snowman, a pile of snowballs at her feet. They could see Elsa about ten feet away from the fort behind one of the tall pine trees that shielded the farm from the state highway. Poppa and Marco were on either side of the gazebo where the ladies sat. The porch and gazebo were too high off the ground for the grandpas to be able to see over them and target one another. 

Liam played baseball in high school and college and had been good enough to make a career of it, if his heart hadn’t laid squarely on the farm he grew up on and in the hands of his high school sweetheart. His pitching arm was still in very good shape though, so he took up his position on the corner of the old farmhouse, far out of reach of his adversaries, but not so far that he couldn’t reach them with his own arsenal of projectiles.

Mary Margaret crept around the corner of the garage and lobbed a snowball at Marco, catching him on the shoulder. She shouted in triumph before disappearing back around the corner as Marco shouted his indignation at being blindsided.

Grandpa Nemo and Graham were also hiding behind trees near the fort and were staying busy throwing snowballs at anyone who caught their eye while trying to evade the same, with varying degrees of success.

Killian, David, and Robin were nowhere to be seen. Emma sat up, as Killian suddenly emerged from the trees behind the fort, knelt for a moment, and grabbed Henry and Dale around the waist. He rose again, with both boys firmly under his arms and ran headlong into the no man’s land where he unceremoniously dropped them and then ran for cover on the other side of the front porch of the new house. As soon as the boys were on the ground, they were pummeled with snowballs from all sides. Having the protection of the fort, they’d been hit much less than the others. They howled as they hightailed it back to the fort, shouting threats of retribution at Killian for sneaking up on them the way he had.

As soon as they took cover, Robin and David both emerged from the trees in the same place Killian had only a minute before. The two were obviously working together as they held their snowballs aloft and flushed the boys out from the protection of the fort. The men chased the boys out into the middle of the yard, signaling to everyone else to come out of hiding and hit as many targets as possible.  It was a total knock-down-drag-out, with no one getting away scot free.

Henry emerged from the melee, shouting at Emma.

“Did you see me, Mom? I got Uncle David on the back of the head!” Emma rose from her seat in the gazebo and made her way to where Henry was climbing the steps to the porch.

“I did see,” she assured her son, a wide grin on her face. “I think it’s time for everyone to come inside and warm up. We have gingerbread to decorate, judge and eat, and Christmas movies to watch.”

The other boys were the first to come toward the porch and the promise of gingerbread, followed by the women and grandfathers. The men were still trying to best one another on the snowball field. Robin had taken up a position next to the gazebo, where Regina and Beverly still sat, enjoying their hot chocolate, and laughing at the men trying to one up each other. As they finished their drinks and rose from their seats to head inside, Robin could see David coming around the other side of the house and taking aim at Regina. Time seemed to slow down as Robin ran toward David, aiming his own snowball at him. David threw his snowball, Regina turning to the side to shield herself, as Robin hurled his own, taking a flying leap toward David. 

He just missed the snowball David threw, but his aim was true, catching David in the center of the chest. David’s snowball hit Regina on the hip, and Robin tackled David into the snow.

“Gotcha, sis!” David howled, even as Robin rose above him, grabbing the front of his coat. Robin was barely aware of Regina running across the porch and down the steps toward them as red colored his vision.

“What the hell, man?” he shouted at David. “You can’t target the porch! That was safe!” David turned his attention to Robin, his laughter turning into confusion and then anger as he pushed Robin off him and stood up.

“It was just a bit of fun!” he shouted. “It got her on the hip! What’s the big deal?”

Regina got between them, facing Robin. She cupped his face in her hands and begged him to look at her.

“It’s fine,” she said. “I’m fine. It didn’t even hurt. I promise.” 

Robin forced himself to focus on his wife. Her chocolate eyes were filled with worry. For him. He put his hands on her shoulders and matched his breathing with hers. Once he was calmed down, he turned his attention back to David, who stood watching them over to the side, a puzzled and brooding expression on his face.

“She’s pregnant,” Robin snapped, still a little hacked that David had targeted Regina. “She can’t…”

“So what?” David interrupted, confusion now all over his face. “So is Mary Margaret. That didn’t stop her.” 

“What?” Regina exclaimed, turning to her brother, surprised. 

David shrugged sheepishly. “Yeah,” he admitted. “We were gonna announce it tomorrow night at dinner.” Regina released Robin and turned to David, embracing him tightly.

“Congratulations!”

“Thanks,” he murmured, accepting her hug. “And you, too.” She pulled back and glanced at Robin. At his small nod, she turned back to her brother.

“I think Robin is just worried because I’ve had a miscarriage before.”

David’s brow furrowed. “You have? When?”

“Years ago,” she told him. “Not long after I first came to Hollywood.”

“I had no idea,” David murmured. “I’m sorry.”

“It was a long time ago. And I’m fine.” She turned back to Robin. “I do think you overreacted, though.”

Robin looked like he’d rather eat nails than apologize, but after a deep breath and hard swallow, he held his hand out to David who took it.

“Sorry I overreacted,” he said.

“No problem. I probably would have done the same.”

Regina smiled at them. “Let’s go in,” she said, looping her arm through her husband’s. “I need your help decorating the gingerbread house.” Looking back out over the lawn, she hollered for the rest of them to come in. “Come on, guys! It’s time for gingerbread!”

At her call, the other three started making their way to the house, still eyeing each other warily. Killian was the furthest away and couldn’t resist one more throw at his brother as he approached the steps to the house. He cackled as the missile found its target, and took off running toward the back of the house as Liam made himself one last snowball and followed. Regina, Robin, David, and Graham entered the front door to see Killian doing a dance in front of the sliding glass door in the kitchen, taunting Liam.

“I will have my revenge, little brother!” Liam called, an evil grin on his face. “The next time you come out here… revenge will be MINE!” He dropped his snowball into the drifts lining the back porch and climbed the steps as Killian opened the door for him.

“Good luck with that, brother,” he smirked. The brothers turned toward the kitchen where the gingerbread was all laid out on the island and some of the creations were being moved to the table, to give everyone room for decorating the tasty treats.

Elsa’s cake was already in the oven, and the smell was permeating the whole house.

Mary Margaret and David had gone for simple gingerbread boys and girls, and they were hard at work decorating them with royal icing.

Regina was getting their gingerbread house constructed while Robin was laying out the candies they’d soon be decorating with.

Graham joined Ruby in her construction of a gingerbread Christmas tree.

Liam moved into the family room where Elsa and all the grandparents were on babysitting duty, keeping the kids occupied while the others worked on their gingerbread creations. White Christmas played on the TV, and Liam sat on the sofa next to his wife. He put his arm around her and kissed her temple. 

“The cake smells delicious,” he said in her ear. Elsa smirked and looked at her phone. 

“It has about five more minutes. We’re sure to win. Nothing beats just an old fashioned gingerbread cake.” Liam hummed his agreement.

Killian moved to the other end of the island from Robin and Regina to help Emma get their gingerbread church put together. She’d found the pattern on Etsy and was determined to make it, no matter how complicated it might be.

Once everyone was done- well, almost everyone, anyway- Marco, Beverly, Maurice, and Grandpa Nemo came in from the family room. They gathered around Emma and Killian’s gingerbread… something…

“It was supposed to be a church,” Emma said surlily. The four walls were intact, but that was about it. The roof was very crooked and the steeple was completely missing, the required pieces scattered around the island. Everyone laughed good naturedly before Beverly took a bite.

“It tastes good, anyway,” she observed. “But considering it’s not decorated, or even fully constructed for that matter, I think it’s safe to say…” she looked at her grumpy daughter with an amused smile on her face, “y’all are not going to win.”

The judges moved to Elsa and Liam’s cake. It was still warm, having had about twenty minutes to cool, and topped with powdered sugar. They all had a small piece of the cake and declared it absolutely wonderful. Elsa and Liam exchanged smug smirks.

Ruby and Graham’s gingerbread Christmas tree was incredible. Very carefully constructed with royal icing, it was a full tree with every “branch” tipped with the white icing- including the star on the top of the tree- and decorated with red and green mini m&m’s.

“I don’t even want to try it!” Poppa exclaimed. “It’s too beautiful to eat!”

But they did eventually try it, after the requisite photos were taken, and found that it was delicious, as well.

Robin and Regina’s gingerbread house was fully constructed and decorated, but was rather sloppy. Icing was dripping in places, and the candy wasn’t staying on. It tasted good enough, but Regina still scowled as the judges ranked their creation in Fourth Place.

David and Mary Margaret’s gingerbread boys and girls were delicious and impeccably decorated. After unanimously being declared the winner of the bake-off, David spoke.

“It’s my secret ingredient to the gingerbread recipe,” he declared. “Nutmeg.”

Regina scoffed. “How can you call it a secret ingredient if you just told everyone what it was?”

“I didn’t say how much I used,” he said, smugly, crossing his arms over his chest. “So, it’s still a secret.”

After the judging was complete, all the ingredients for personal pizzas were pulled out of the fridge and everyone set to making their own dinner. The big meal would be enjoyed on Christmas Day.

Once dinner was eaten and the kitchen cleaned up, Marco pulled out his banjo and started picking out favorite Christmas carols. Regina sat down at the piano while Ruby, David, and Emma went to collect their violin, flute, and guitar, respectively.

Beverly felt the tears sting her eyes as her family made music together. It had been over a decade since this had last happened and she never realized how much she missed it. With David gone to the ends of the earth, literally, plus their schedule and how rarely they were able to visit with all three of their daughters, she’d had to bury that desire and longing for her entire family to be together in the depths of her heart. And now, the complete happiness and joy threatened to overflow. 

The musicians smoothly transitioned between songs, the chord progressions and accompaniment coming back as if they’d been practicing together for weeks. Beverly had to stop singing, the lump in her throat too big to overcome, and just listen to the blend of voices. Maurice sat beside her on the sofa, Hunter cradled in his arms, and leaned over to whisper in her ear.

“I know what Marco told me all those years ago,” he began, “but I would just about give my eye teeth to get all of you in a recording studio.” He moved away from her with a knowing and speculative gleam in his eye. Beverly laughed and patted him on the knee.

“I think you’d have an easier time setting up a recording studio right here in this room, than getting all these people together again.”

He looked back out over the crowded room. “Oh, I’m not so sure about that,” he mused.

“What do you mean?”

“Look at the smiles on everyone’s faces,” he said. “I know it’s hard to coordinate schedules between this many different families, but I have a feeling this is something everyone here is going to want to continue for many years to come.”

Beverly sighed. “I’d give anything…”

Maurice smiled gently at her and patted her knee. “So would I,” he assured her, his eyebrows rising. “Think about it.”

Taking a deep breath, Beverly joined her voice to the chorus of voices around her. The soft strands of Silent Night accompanied only by David on his flute and Ruby on her violin poured over her, and she closed her eyes and let herself drift on the music. She raised a prayer of thankfulness for this time together and determined to never take it for granted as the song came to an end.

Beverly opened her eyes and surveyed the scene in front of her. The babies were sound asleep in the arms of Maurice, Graham, and Killian, and Dale’s eyes were glazed over with exhaustion while Henry was in the middle of a jaw-popping yawn.

“I believe it’s time for bed, my loves,” Marco said quietly. The boys joined together in a disappointed awwww, but everyone else was smiling or nodding their agreement. Couples rose and joined together as parents gathered the children and began herding them off to bed.

“Christmas breakfast here at 9, and then presents after,” Emma told everyone. “We’ll see everyone in the morning.”

Murmurs of good night, see you in the morning, and Merry Christmas followed everyone out until the quiet of Christmas Eve and the snow-covered landscape outside enveloped both houses as everyone found their beds and fell into the dreams of home, the dreams of love, the dreams of family.

~*~*~

Christmas Day was everything Christmas dreams were made of. Snow still blanketed the ground, Christmas breakfast was delicious and plentiful, and the enormous pile of presents under the tree was utterly demolished- with everyone very pleased with the gifts received. Liam did get his revenge on Killian for his surreptitious ambush the day before when the men and boys engaged in another round of the snowball fight. Then the boys spent the rest of the afternoon engaging in an epic Nerf gun battle since they’d been gifted a veritable arsenal. Now it was time for Christmas dinner. Everyone gathered around the enormous dining room table for the blessing before loading up their plates with the feast that had been prepared by the ladies of the family.

“Before we have the blessing,” David said, standing from his place at the table, “we have an announcement to make.”

“So do we,” Robin said with a smile before nodding at David to continue. David looked down at Mary Margaret, whose cheeks were colored with a pretty blush as she looked at her husband and nodded. 

“Mary Margaret and I are excited to announce that we’re expecting…” Loud cheers from around the table interrupted his words, and David grinned widely before sitting down again and nodding at Robin across the table from him.

Robin rose to his feet as the cheering died down and asked the question everyone wanted to know.

“When are you due?”

“August 6th,” Mary Margaret said.

“Congratulations,” he said, sincerely before looking around the table at everyone gathered. “Regina and I have our own announcement, as well. We are also expecting.” More cheers interrupted his words, as Marco stood from his seat and moved around the table to hug Regina tightly. When the cheers died away again, Robin continued. “We’re due at the end of August,” he said, looking at David. “The 29th.”

Marco stayed where he was, his arm around Regina’s shoulders and asked everyone to bow their heads.

“Father in Heaven,” Marco began, “we thank You for the many blessings You’ve given this family. Material blessings, yes, but so much more. The blessings of how You’ve brought this family back together and expanded it is more than we ever hoped or dreamed. You’ve been so good to us, and we thank You for it. We thank You for the gift of Your Son, Whose birth we celebrate today. We pray that Your hand would continue to be upon us and all those we love. We pray for both these pregnancies, that You would keep Your hand on the mothers as well as the children they carry and bring them to a successful birth this summer. We pray that You will bring us all together again next year, if not before. Now, please bless this food that we are about to receive. May it nourish our bodies and spirits. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

As everyone trooped into the kitchen to dish up their plates, Marco looked over his family and felt like his heart would burst with the blessings that had been showered on him. He didn’t know what the future held, but with the love binding the Swan, Jones, and Humbert families together, there was no doubt the future was a bright and happy one.

The End

~*~*~

Thank you all so much for reading and sharing!!! Merry Christmas!!

[butterfrogmantis]

// Couple of suggestive pick up lines on doodle 5 djdk

Tuffy Foley was born along the coastal area of the Long Island section of NY, in a slightly run down neighbourhood. Once rumoured to have been a famous smugglers area for pirates, the summers were often overcrowded with tourists and the winter’s barren of much company. Tuffy was raised by his aunt and uncle, due to his biological parents having lost custody of him as a toddler. His aunt and uncle were kind folk and Tuffy trusted them whole heartedly – the same could not be said for the kids his age around the area. Tuffy was much younger, and much smaller than most of them, so he quickly became an easy target to their constant taunts and physical jabs.

Tuffy endured the black eyes and taste of gravel for far too long before someone stepped up to them. But someone did – Hefty Ortiz, a slightly older and braver kid than Tuffy, who’d had enough of the peers his age picking on the ‘poor guy’ and told them to back off. Hefty was not a kid to be messed with either, he was strong enough to easily hold his ground and the bullies knew he didn’t bluff. For Tuffy, he had found a new idol that day, and was forever in his debt.

Tuffy meet’s Hefty’s mom’s. X and Y Ortiz, a lesbian couple who had been raising their son into a compassionate and strong minded young man. X worked as the local sports coach, whilst Y was a social worker, so it was easy to see where Hefty’s strength and empathy came from. This was also Tuffy’s first positive representation of homosexuality – Tuffy had likely endured bigoted slurs from the bullies, despite being too young to know what the future had in store for him, and being around the Ortiz family has likely saved him from years of further denial.

Teenage Hefty discovered girls, Teenage Tuffy discovered Hefty. I mean, kid Tuffy looked up to Hefty but teenage Tuffy worshipped the very ground he walked on. It was an almost unhealthy obsession, and unfortunely this did start to strain his relationship with Hefty who found him to be broaching into slightly unhealthy co-dependency and imitation behaviour.

Hefty travels to Belgium. Tuffy, still lost in a fantasy parasocial relationship with him, follows. Ultimately, despite their adventures, his affections are never returned and it becomes obvious to Tuffy they never will.

A heartbroken but bitter Tuffy turns to … more unwarranted approaches and with his new found self-appointed freedom at no longer pursuing Hefty exclusively, Tuffy moves on … to his best friend, Handy Turner. When that doesn’t work, Tuffy decided to try a new outlook and attempts to attract the attention of a much older man, Wooly Sherman. That also does not work. Tuffy sulks and decides to give up for now. 

A few years later, Marco Spaziale is back in the village. His first trip away since the ‘incident’ in fact and what he’d really like now is a quiet night in the pub and a pint to relax. What he GETS is a sulking Tuffy who’s pissed about another failed rizz attempt. Marco is … bemused but annoyed. They exchange some banter and Marco tells some bone-chilling sea stories. Well, that gets Tuffy’s attention. Actually now that he thinks about it this Marco fella is sort of handsome in a very ruggish and badass way – Just Tuffy’s type. Those scars are pretty cool. Tuffy’s into it. He’s found a new object of his affections.

Marco suspects there may be a distant link between Tuffy and the weird skeleton dude walking around. Tuffy has concerns of his own.

It took some time but Marco warms back to Tuffy. He kind of originally viewed him as a sad little puppy, but like sad little puppies they have a way of warming your heart. Unlike his friend Dreamy who Marco tends to perceive as something akin to a little brother relationship with him, Marco’s never really had anything to do with Tuffy before and romantic feelings are eventually reciprocated. Marco is a bit older and more experienced about life in general whereas Tuffy has followed Hefty his whole life and is younger and a bit sheltered. Marco shows him some of the world. Tuffy discovers he has seasickness.

Tuffy and baby Vitriolic. Aww. He’s a good dad despite Vitty having er. Her own social issues djdjk

Tuffy, Hefty, Smurfette, Handy, Marina, Wooly, and Marco (c) The Smurfs

Hefty's moms, Skelly and Vitriolic are mine

[deans-baby-momma]

Law & Love Chapter 3

THEN

Y/N it's not what you think. Please call me (406)321-5879

NOW

I don’t call him when I clock out. I don't call him while I take a cab home. In fact, I don't call him at all. 

I am angry! Angry at myself for letting him in and angry at him for asking me out when he is clearly unavailable. 

I don't know how they do stuff here in Montana but I was raised to be faithful and true.  That's probably why I endured Eric's lack of attention and overlooked his cheating for so long.

Yes, I knew my boyfriend was out fucking anything with a vagina almost weekly. I discovered it when I found a hotel receipt in his pocket. 

I did a little amateur sleuthing and found out that he had used that certain hotel for years. He had an open account with the seedy fleabag accommodations; he paid after the use of their room, usually with cash that I still didn't know where it came from. So, I tolerated his cheating and laziness because that's what I was taught to do. 

But now? Now was different. I am not that same girl I was then. I was aware of the obscenity of the world and knew very few people abided by the 'old ways'.

So, I'm not about to let some philandering womanizer get the best of me. He cannot have his cake and eat it too! 

It’s been a few days since the sheriff and his girlfriend/wife/whatever had visited the diner and I was ever so grateful. I didn’t want to see his cheating, conniving face at all! Everytime I thought about the audacity he had to ask me out when he was clearly taken, my blood pressure skyrocketed. The nerve of him! The gall to manipulate the situation to his advantage was mind boggling. 

After the lunch rush was over, I set about getting the remaining tables and chairs back into their proper order when the bell rang and someone stepped in. I smile as I see who I know now is a regular at this time of the day, Joey. Joey would come in when the rush was over and keep Deb and I amused with his stories of different things. He seems to be a nice guy who lived alone and simply desired social interaction.

I smile at him as he walks to his usual spot and settles in. Deb writes up his normal order. As I pass by headed to the kitchen, Joey smiles and speaks. “You look nice today, Y/n.”

“Thanks Joey.”

Deb and I listen to Joey as he regales about the time his uncle took him and his cousins fishing at Park Lake Campground, southwest of town.

"So, here we were standing alongside the lake. We could practically see the fish swimming around, waiting for us to throw our lines in. Marco and Luis were baiting their hooks as ole Uncle Paul was sliding the earthworm onto mine.  He didn't trust me not to try to eat the lure." He pauses as Deb and I give him a look of disgust. He laughs and continues.

"Ladies, I was 4 years old okay! I probably would've tried to eat it," he laughs. "Anyway, he gets the hook ready and hands me the pole. I watch my cousins cast their line out into the water so I pull back and throw……hook, line, sinker and pole. It floats on the water for a second before it sinks. Uncle P starts yelling and running toward the water. No one caught anything that day."

The bell over the door rings and a woman walks in with a brown paper bag with handles. There is no writing on the nondescript back. She smiles at us and asks for Y/N. I groan as I realize exactly what that means.

The fucking sheriff has sent me another goddamn gift. I mask my irritation and I step forward with a smile and take the bag.

Inside is a stuffed animal. I pull it out to see it's a gray squirrel holding an acorn in its paws. On the acorn are the words "NUTS FOR YOU".

Yea, he's nuts if he thinks I'm going to keep accepting his little gifts and trinkets. Not when he's a two-timing jerk!

I stuff the stuffed animal back in the bag and take it in the back room, where we keep our personal items.

After my shift, I'm making a pitstop at the Sheriff's office and putting an end to his treacherous ways, once and for all!

The taxi driver can tell I’m on a mission as soon as I slide into the backseat and utter, “Take me to the sheriff’s office.”

As we pull up outside of Helena P.D. I can see the red truck that I know belongs to the sheriff sitting alongside the other cop cars in the lot. I can’t help but sneer at it as I pay the cabbie and exit the vehicle.

I open the door to the building and am met immediately with the smell of donuts and coffee. I want to laugh at  the plain and simple stereotype of it all but before I can even twitch my lips, I look through and see Sheriff Arlen and his companion through the glass that divides the front of the station with what is apparently his office. They are both smiling and talking and I see him throw his head back and laugh at what she just said.

“Can I help you?” 

I bring my focus back to the front to see the same officer that had come to collect the sheriff and his companion that day at the diner; the day I realized just what a swindler the man in charge is.

“I need to speak to the Sheriff, if you can pull the lovebirds apart,” I jeer. The man looks at me questioningly and goes to open his mouth but evidently Beau has noticed my presence and comes out of the room.

“Y/N?” he calls as he approaches, a smile on his face. What the fuck is he smiling for? Does he not realize I know what a fraud he is?  His ‘whatever she is’ is standing right there behind him, leaning against the door frame of his office. Her arms are crossed over her front and her head is sort of cocked to the side. Does she know who I am? Does she know he asked me out when he is obviously involved with her? Why is she not fuming? Why does she look as if she could care less?

Beau finally gets to the front desk and he nods at the officer who was still standing there. “I got this Popcorn.”

‘Popcorn’ nods and heads back to his desk.

“What’re you doing here?” the Sheriff asks. “Having more troubles?”

I clear my throat and straighten my stance as I pull the brown gift bag from my purse. I reach inside and grab the stuffed animal and remove it. I look at it one more time before I lift it and throw it right in his face. 

“I don’t want your stupid gifts! I don’t want anything to do with you! How dare you try to take advantage of me in my time of need! You’re a fucking asshole and a cheat! Fuck. You!”

I turn to leave but not before I notice the look of confusion on the sheriff’s face.  As I push the door open, I hear his voice. “Y/N! Wait!”

@lostinaseaoffictionalbliss @spnbaby-67 @tftumblin @sea040561 @delightfullykrispypeach @larajadeschmidt13 @atc74 @vicariouslythruspn @squirrelnotsam  @sandlee44 @blacktithe7 @hoboal87 @mogaruke @deanwanddamons @supraveng @deandreamernp @akshi8278 @lyarr24 @kazsrm67 @chriszgirl92 @fanfic-n-tabulous

[hypegirl1]

May the Evil rise again (Part 2)

Part 1 here

Summary:After Aurora finds out about her family,she's looking for real answers from them,but things don't go out as planned

Word count:1534

"Mom...destroyed the magic?"

"Oh she did,and your grandma and aunt helped her,and your mom was going to be the next queen of Mewni,but turns out that it wasn't as they expected"

"How do you know all this..."

"Aurora!"

I could hear my mom screaming in the background,I don't know where she was or how they found out I was here,but now I was in problems,and it wasn't good.I panicked and started running to some stairs that led to a big hall upstairs,but it was too late,my parents already found me.

"Aurora,we need to leave,this place is dangerous"

"No!I want answers!What was that woman talking about?You destroyed the magic?!And you were part of a royal family?!What were all those paintings?!"

"Aurora listen,we'll explain it to you outside,it's dangerous to stay here"

"But dad,I-"

I didn't knew what to say at this point,I exited the building with my parents and went home,the whole way back was very quiet,I was in very big trouble.When we arrived my parents made me sit on the couch,oh no,no no no.

"Aurora,we need to talk"

"Yes mom,I escaped to see the castle and scared you,grounded for 1 month?2 months?"

"What?No Aurora you´re not grounded"

"Oh"

"We...want to talk about what you saw there.Yes,we were part of the royal family,the Butterfly´s,I was the princess back then,and your grandparents were the king and queen of Mewni,then,Mina,one of Mewni´s biggest warriors kinda lost herself and decided that she wanted to destroy Eclipsa"

"Well not kinda,she was determined to destroy her at all costs and leave your grandma as the queen"

"She-she wanted to destroy aunt Eclipsa?why?"

"When your aunt became queen,she learned dark magic,and for everyone that was seen as evil and dangerous,even though she never commited any kind of crimes.Well maybe also the part that she fell in love with your uncle Globgor when she was supposed to be with Shastacan"

"I understand,so why did you destroyed the magic?"

"Because it was too powerful,we couldn´t destroy Mina with magic,so destroying the magic was the best choice"

"But- I´m sure there could have been a better choice! You´re telling me that if nothing like that ever happened,I would be a princess now,and you and dad would be the king and queen,and I could do magic and-"

"Aurora,no,I don´t want to hear anything about magic again,we almost died with it.Your aunt is now the queen,the crown is hers now"

"Marco,without magic we wouldn´t have met,do you remember?"

"Star! Aurora literally escaped the house and went to the castle,and now you´re saying that?"

"Sorry sorry,you´re so cute when you get mad"

Uhh,well,the situation was definitely scalating quickly.

"Fine,sorry for escaping,I just wanted answers,why did you hid this from me?"

"Because we wanted you to grow safe and sound,we didn´t wanted you to get hurt if you discovered all of this"

"But I´m safe,I´m mad that you hid our family history and the whole story about the magic!"

"Aurora,you have to understand that we did it for your own good"

Well,maybe they were right?But if aunt Eclipsa could do dark magic and also mom and grandma,what was the problem?

"I understand...sorry for escaping"

"Apologies accepted,but you´re grounded for 1 month"

"What?!"

"Marco!Don´t punish her,she just wanted answers,leave it for today"

"Alright...why do you have to be such a good person?"

"Let´s just forget this and continue with our lives,alright sweetie?Go to bed now,it´s late"

No,I wasn´t going to bed,I had to do something about it,they destroyed the magic because of some crazy girl? That´s stupid! There must be a way of bringing the magic back,but I don´t know it...

"If they destroyed the magic,it must have been with a spell?"

That´s when I had an idea,in mom and dad´s room there is a hidden compartiment in the closet that mom always told me to not open,maybe there is something related to the magic there...maybe she didn´t destroyed all the magic and saved a bit?But I couldn´t do nothing now,they both were asleep,I had to wait til next morning.

When I woke up next morning,it was 12 am,wow,how come I slept so much? I got out of bed and put one of my favorite dresses on,brushed my hair and went downstairs,my dad was on the kitchen table reading something

"Dad!Can I ask you something?"

"Don´t you say good morning to me now?"

"Sorry,good morning"

"Good,what did you wanted to ask?"

"Well,now that I know almost everything,there is no reason to hide the rest of the secrets right?"

"I guess you´re right...what do you want to know?"

"How did mom,grandma and auntie destroyed the magic?"

"I don´t know the details 100%,why don´t you go ask your auntie?Your mom is bussy"

"Alright,thank you I love you!"

"I love you too"

I went outside to find my mom doing some gardening

"Mom,uhm,can I ask you something quick?"

"Sure,what is it?"

"I´m going to auntie's Eclipsa´s place to ask her about how you destroyed the magic,can I?"

"Aurora I- sigh* yes,go ahead,maybe we went a little too far hiding this to you,you have all the rights to know about your family and their past,go honey,I´m sorry for what we´ve done"

"No mom don't say that,you just wanted to protect me,I understand,maybe I also went a little too far yesterday night"

"It´s alright,I´m glad you´re okay,go ahead,your auntie will ve bery happy to see you,tell her I said hi"

"Thank you mom,I love you,bye!"

I hugged my mom and went running to my aunt´s castle,there were a few guards around,but they knew me

"Hi Aurora!"

"Hi!"

I knocked on their door and waited for an answer,that´s when uncle Globgor opened the door

"Yes?Oh Aurora! Hi honey,what are you doing here alone?"

"I came for a visit and to ask auntie Eclipsa something,is she busy?"

"No,you can come in,I´m happy you always visit us"

"Yeah me too,I mean we live very close"

My uncle guided me through some rooms to my auntie´s garden,where she was resting

"Eclipsa,we have visitors"

"Oh? Aurora my baby! How are you doing? How come you came alone? Where are your parents?"

"They are at home,I came to visit you and to ask you something,can I?"

"Sure honey,anything"

"I´ll leave you girls alone then"

Uncle Globgor left the room,leaving me and auntie Eclipsa sitting on the soft grass

"What is it?"

"Well,uhm,yesterday I found out our family history and the past..."

"Oh...I´m sorry honey,we all thought it was better for the new generations to hide it..."

"No no it´s alright,I understand,but I wanted to ask,mom said you helped her and grandma Moon to destroy the magic,how did you do that?"

"Well,we casted a spell called The Whispering Spell in the magic dimenssion,it destroyed all the magic forever"

"Mhm,and what was the spell like?"

"I think it was something like break the bond,tear the fabric,cleave the stone,stop the magic,it was many years ago so maybe I´m wrong"

"Wow,that sounds very cool"

"It wasn´t cool at all..."

"Oh,sorry..."

"No it´s fine honey"

"And...how do you go to the magic dimenssion?"

"You had to enter through one of the waterfalls that were at the sanctuary"

"And where was the sanctuary?"

"Wow,you can tell that you´re Star´s daughter haha,it was close to the forest of certain death I think?The magic came from the magic dimenssion and to the sanctuary,I don´t remember very well Aurora sorry"

"No it´s fine!Thank you so much"

"You´re welcome sweetie,do you want to stay for lunch?"

"Sure!"

I stayed with my family for lunch,were me,uncle Globgor,auntie Eclipsa,and my cousin Meteora had a lot of fun.When I got back home I knew there would be something I had to do.

"Hi I´m back"

I entered the house running upstairs,I had no time,I had to search that sanctuary,I had to bring the magic back

Part 3 coming soon...

[nehswritesstuffs]

Baratie: Home to Chefs, Strays, and the Occasional Sword Goblin - Part 4

My apologies on this taking so damn long--a lot has gone down in the not-quite-month it’s taken to update. Some good, some bad, but hey... here’s some more cute af dopamine hits for ya.

First chapter on [tumblr] - [FFN] - [AO3]

Prior chapter on [tumblr] - [FFN] - [AO3]

As the kids all get on without a hitch, their adults acknowledge that there’s a lot more to this than they’d like to admit, not as though that’d change anything. [4590 words]

“So, you honestly had no idea he even existed until he showed up on the Baratie?” Usopp mused. He took a sip of his tea and glanced over at the kids, who were playing nearby. It was well after dinner and he and Zoro were getting the entire story from Sanji and Zeff up in their private residence while the kids were finally occupied after an afternoon and evening of being too attentive for Adult Talk.

“I mean, I won’t doubt it’s my sister’s kid,” Sanji scowled, “but I’m wondering how in the hell this even happened.”

“She slept with someone and didn’t think before or after until it was too late,” Zoro shrugged. Sanji backhanded his shoulder and scoffed.

“It’s not like my sister to not think and calculate out everything to at least five different eventualities,” he scolded. “She must have known Asido was a possibility from the start—before she even took the father to bed—and if he’s here, that means she wanted him… wanted to protect him…”

“What bothers me is that I thought your sperm donor was a medical field nutbag—wouldn’t he have discovered what was going on?” Zeff scoffed.

“Judge knows how to rape a woman until she’s pregnant, then what to do to change the Lineage Factor of her unborn children,” Sanji grimaced. “If it weren’t for the former, it wouldn’t surprise me if the bastard thinks a baby pops out of a woman’s navel and that she pisses from her vagina. My brothers are right up there with him, considering they wouldn’t know what a G-spot is if their unemotional lives depended on it.”

“Only if ‘G’ stands for ‘genocide’,” Usopp cringed. None of the other adults refuted that and he wasn’t entirely certain if it made him feel better or worse. “The offer to sic my wife on them still stands.”

“It’d pay to watch that,” Zoro chortled. “She’d tear them apart in thirty seconds, and that’s as a doctor and not as a hormonal mess. There’d be nothing left for Chopper.”

“…or Kureha, or Law, or Marco, or…”

“Yeah, yeah, we get it,” Sanji scoffed. He looked over at the kids again—the twins were now perched on the taller kids’ shoulders and slap-fighting—and felt a chill run down his spine. “Asido being here changes a lot of shit, doesn’t it?”

“Possibly,” Usopp shrugged. “Kids do have a way of shifting peoples’ priorities. Being a dad is weird as hell, but it’s rewarding when you boil it all down.”

“Usopp, you’re a dad—I’m just the kid’s uncle.”

“Then why’s he with you and not him, eh?” Zeff and Zoro both wisely pretended to take long droughts from their drinks, avoiding being dragged in. “If you had asked me when we first met if in less than ten years we’d be here now—the crew of the Pirate King—then I would have agreed. Had you asked if in the same amount of time I was going to be married to the gal of my dreams, waiting on Kid Number Four, putting aside being the Dread Captain Usopp for making sure that hair gets braided properly and skinned knees and hurt fingers get kisses as well as bandages? I would have laughed in your face, impressed by your lies!” He watched Sanji’s face fall as the blond seemed to go inwards towards his own thoughts. “Hey, Sanji, being a dad is great, even if it ends up being for a short while. At least you have one of the best babysitters in the East here now.”

“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask about that,” Zoro scowled. “You mean to tell me that you’re kicking me out? Already? Merry doesn’t have down her katas yet.”

“That’s part of what my wife wants to avoid,” Usopp deadpanned.

“Your wife can say that to my face.”

“You two are both fucking idiots,” Sanji groaned. He pinched the bridge of his nose, hoping that the oncoming headache wasn’t going to be a nasty one.

“Dad…?!” The four men all looked at Merry, who was standing rather still on the other side of the room despite the slap-fight that was still going on above her. “Why does Asido talk funny?”

“No I don’t!” Asido insisted. “You’re all the ones who talk funny!”

“You all talk funny,” Zoro shouted back at the child, not giving Usopp a chance to respond. “You all sound like a bunch of babies!”

“Asshole!” Merry shouted, sticking out her tongue. Zoro laughed, Sanji and Zeff stared, while Usopp immediately snapped into full-form.

“Merry! What did Mom say about grown-up words?!”

“Mom’s not here!”

“Yeah, and she’s still going to find out, and you want to know who’s going to get into trouble? Me! Not Uncle Sanji and his staff, not Mister Zeff, not the moron who taught you that word, but me! I don’t want to get into trouble!”

Merry pouted for a moment, then turned to Asido. “Just so you know: Dad’s a chicken-shit.”

“Merry!”

“It’s true!”

“That doesn’t mean you can always say it!” Usopp let his head fall to the table, where he wallowed in a mire of depression. “My own daughter… betraying me the first chance she gets…”

“At least they all get on,” Zeff mentioned. “When is Kaya due? We can have a sleepover for Asido and the girls, I think, to keep them from getting underfoot.”

“In about four months,” Usopp admitted. “Chopper already told me he was stopping by here first, then coming over to Syrup to stay until the baby’s born like he did with the others.” He paused and lifted his head so he could properly look at Sanji. “How long do you think you’ll have him here?”

“We aren’t talking about that yet,” Sanji said. He glanced over at Zoro, who seemed to be taking the statement in stride. “I think we can renegotiate once the geezer’s closer to being cleared by Chopper.”

“Fine by me,” the swordsman shrugged. “I’m not a fancy tutor, but I think I can keep him occupied.”

“How, I’ll never know,” Sanji deadpanned.

“Hey, don’t knock it,” Usopp said. “When I said he’s great with the girls, I meant it a hundred percent. You don’t have to worry about a thing. The lack of worry is probably part of why Kaya’s pregnant again, to be honest.”

“I think I like you better when you’re lying out your ass,” Zeff quipped. Sanji couldn’t help but snicker, while Zoro saw one of the twins yawn, taking that as his cue.

“Alright you gremlins—time to get ready for bed,” he said as he stood up. Montie and Lea both climbed down from their respective perches and bounced over to Zoro with their arms up. He snatched them both, one in each arm, before glancing over at Asido. “Lead the way, kid; you know where your room is.”

Asido looked at Sanji for permission and got a silent nod. “Y-Yeah. Okay.” He took Merry by the hand and led them out into the corridor. The door clicked shut and Usopp let out a sigh of relief.

“Let me help you clean up,” the long-nosed man said. Sanji tried to swat his hand away from the dishes, but he resisted, successfully able to grab the plates and carted them down after the chef as he brought the rest of the dishes on a tray into the kitchen. There was only a couple of the junior-level chefs left finishing the cleaning, though with their temporary boss there and looking rather irritated, they decided it was time to take their break.

“I did this all the time with the crew; I think I can handle it now,” Sanji said wearily. Usopp simply shook his head and grabbed a towel.

“Uh-huh—I’ll dry.”

“Fine.”

The pair worked in silence for a while, washing and drying in tandem, before Sanji let out a loud, long sigh.

“What the fuck is happening?” he asked, his voice betraying his weariness. “This is ridiculous.”

“Not as much as you’d might think,” Usopp shrugged. He accepted a rinsed plate and wiped it dry, placing it in the stack. “I… I know you and Zoro didn’t part on the best of terms, but…”

“…you should have told me.”

“You would have called it off.”

“I think I’d be within my rights.”

“What happened to having no room to be picky?”

Silence permeated the kitchen eerily.

“Listen: he told me what went down between the two of you.” More silence. “I don’t care about that—never have and never will—but you have to suck it up and move past it. What happens if Luffy comes back next week? Will the both of you still be able to function like you should?”

“If Luffy comes back next week, I’m going to have to tell him I have a kid now.”

“Luffy would kidnap you both if he thought it was the best solution.” Usopp finished the stack of dishes and placed them in the cupboard. “Maybe getting Asido was meant to be… you know… a way to get the two of you to find common ground again.”

“We won’t find common ground,” Sanji muttered. “We will, to a point, but then it will be the same old shit. Bringing your dad would have honestly been a better option.”

“Well, if anything he’ll at least be good for the kid,” Usopp shrugged. “I’m sure of that much.”

“…and why’s that?”

“If he’s good enough to handle my daughters, then he can handle your nephew. Give it a bit, alright? If he’s not working out by the time the girls come back for the sleepover, then we’ll take him back to Syrup to help with the baby.”

“Fine.” He heard the door open and the two junior chefs return from their break. “We’ll talk more about this in the morning.”

“If you say so,” Usopp shrugged. The pair went upstairs, arriving on their floor just as Zoro was quietly closing the door to Asido’s room. “They go down okay?”

“Like a dream.” The swordsman then looked at Sanji, his expression implacable. “Which room is mine again?”

“That one,” he said, pointing at the one directly next to Asido’s. “I’ll label it, if you need me to.”

“Fuck off.” Zoro disappeared behind the door, leaving Usopp to shake his head.

“Just… consider what I said,” the sniper tutted. He went into his room; now Sanji was alone. He pressed his ear to Asido’s door, hearing faint whispers. Opening it a crack, he listened to Asido and Merry think they were talking quietly.

“So it’s just you and Uncle Sanji?” Merry asked.

“Well, and my mom, but she’s not here.”

“Why?”

“I dunno.”

“What about your dad?”

“I think he’s dead—Mom doesn’t talk about him, and Uncle Sanji and Grandpa Zeff haven’t said anything.”

“…dead like Uncle Luffy…?”

“I thought you said Uncle Luffy was just missing.”

“The grown-ups all say he’s missing, but I don’t know. I feel like ‘missing’ is something that people say when they don’t want to tell the truth.” There was a small pause, where Montie let out a loud snore. “Maybe, that’s what we can do when we’re grown-ups.”

“What…?”

“Find out what happened to Uncle Luffy, of course! We can sail the seas like my dad and our aunts and uncles did! See new places and meet new people! And then, we can find Uncle Luffy! Maybe we can even find your dad!”

“What if Uncle Luffy comes back on his own? What if we can’t find anything?”

“We won’t know until we try!”

Sanji’s heart ached as he exhaled heavily and opened the door. The two children gasped and tried to hide under the blankets, though they didn’t fool him. “I thought I heard voices.” He sat on the edge of the bed and watched as the kids both smiled while pretending to sleep. “I guess no one in here needs goodnight kisses?”

“I do!” Asido insisted, immediately bolting upwards.

“I didn’t know you gave goodnight kisses!” Merry gasped at the same time.

“Then both of you lay down nice and try to get some sleep, hmm…?” Both children complied and Sanji gave them each a kiss on the forehead. “Better?”

“Uh-huh,” they both murmured.

“Now go to sleep, little ones,” he said gently. They both closed their eyes and he watched them for a few more minutes, all four children in the bed asleep by the time he walked out the door. It took all the energy he had to drag himself into his room and change into pajamas before flopping down on his bed in defeat.

How was he going to survive this?

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

In his dream, Zoro knew he was drowning.

He was nineteen again, having just challenged Mihawk and lost. After falling into the ocean, all he did was sink deeper, and deeper, and deeper. He looked to his left and saw that Wado Ichimonji had floated out of his hand. It was blurry, the white scabbard and hilt moving farther away.

‘I failed.’

The faint sound of splashing water reached his ears and before he realized it, he was being tugged upwards, towards the surface. Blond hair became an underwater halo, still hiding a piercing eye bluer than both the sea and sky. He didn’t register the fact that it had been two entirely different people hauling him up when these events had been real—in fact, for all he knew…

Waking up, Zoro found that he was not, in fact, nineteen again and drowning. He was still at the Baratie, but in a soft and comfortable bed. A toddler fell off his chest and into his lap as he sat up, giggling all the way.

“Lea, we’ve been through this,” he groaned. “No sitting on Zoro-oji while he’s sleeping.”

“It’s morning!” the girl stated, as though that absolved her.

“Uh-huh. And where’s your sisters? Your dad?”

“I dunno!”

“Well, let’s find them, alright?”

“Okay!”

The girl waited until the green-haired man swung his legs out of bed before she held up her hand, ready to go exploring. She pulled him along directly into the corridor, where there was not a soul to be seen. Something vaguely tickled the back of his brain about the kids being on the end of the corridor, so they started heading in that direction, only for Usopp to scare the bloody hell out of him as a door wildly swung open next to him.

“There you are!” he gasped, relieved. He scooped his daughter up and gave his crewmate a tired look. “I’m gonna miss the help corralling them, that’s for sure.”

“You’re the one who pimped me out to Curls,” Zoro reminded him.

He followed Usopp into the kids’ room to find that it was not a pleasant picture. Although Merry was attempting to instruct Asido in how to braid her hair, both children still in their pajamas and calm, it was Montie who decided that she was not going to wear clothes that day, and was running completely starkers around the room. Lea wiggled free from Usopp’s grasp and landed on the floor with a thud, and joined her twin in her reign of terror.

“Remember this when Kaya says something about how it’s good Merry’s no longer doing katas,” Zoro grumbled. He snatched the naked, wriggling toddler mid-stride, eventually holding her aloft by the ankles as he searched one-handed through their overnight bag. “You’re wearing clothes today, you little gremlin, whether you like it or not.”

“Zoro-oji mean!”

“Zoro-oji knows from experience that you need to wear clothes, or you’ll freeze and then die and then nothing will ever get done.” He then wrestled her into some clothes, which was admittedly not as difficult as it could have been, holding her up by the armpits once he was done. She was in a little dress, yet her hair was a giant mass of waves as she kicked her feet in desperation. “Are we doing a braid today?”

“I want all braids! Like Daddy!”

“Not until you learn how to sit still, young lady,” Usopp chided. He was already running a brush through Lea’s hair, the girl sitting calmly as her father sat crosslegged on the floor with her in his lap. “How are you two doing over there? Merry? Asido?”

“He’s not very good,” Merry said plainly. Asido’s face turned red.

“I don’t have long hair to do this with!” he defended. “Mom doesn’t have long hair either!”

“Your mom’s hair also is more like Montie’s than like Merry’s, so it behaves different in braids,” Zoro said idly. He held Montie in place with his legs and he brushed through her hair, smoothing it out before quickly putting it into a plait down her back. Once the ribbon was tied, she broke free, leaving the swordsman to beckon the eldest children over. “Come on—let a pro show you how it’s done.”

The two four-year-olds scrambled over to Zoro and Merry plopped herself directly in his lap, with Asido relinquishing the brush. Zoro then undid the bits of braid that the boy already did, his larger hands working quick to untangle the strands. Asido watched intently, making their adult chuckle.

“You’re very interested in this for someone who never has to do it,” he noted, voice gentle. Asido shrugged.

“It’s… different.”

“It is.” He glanced over at Usopp, who had an eyebrow raised. “Is that the only reason?”

“No—we heard you and the other adults talking about how we’re cousins now, and we’re gonna have a sleepover,” the boy said. “That means Merry would come over again, and then I can help her get ready, ‘cause she says her hair’s hard to do by herself.”

“It’s worse when your hands are little, yeah, but it’s not bad. I’ll still be here to help, so you won’t have to worry.”

“Zoro-oji’s almost as good as Mom and Dad!” Merry beamed.

“Only because I helped your dad so much when we were sailing together, right Usopp?” The other adult in the room shuddered as he put Lea’s hair in small puffs.

“Sanji and Robin were the best—you tugged too much.”

“Got all my practice in on you so now I’m excellent,” Zoro bragged.

“Yeah, yeah; you and your sausage-fingers.”

“Fuck off.” Usopp shot Zoro a glare and he chuckled. “You’re just trying to take advantage of the facts I’m still half asleep and swordless.”

“Maybe I should be glad I’m dumping you—be Sanji’s problem now.”

“You make me sound like an unwanted animal.” Merry and Asido both giggled. “See if I babysit for you again.”

“Uh-huh—one look at their pouts and you’re eating your words.”

Zoro did not respond to that, instead continuing to untangle Merry’s hair and divide it in half so he could give her twin braids. Once her hair was in place, he patted the top of her head and she gave him a hug before getting her clothes out of their bag. With hair done, Usopp and Zoro both grabbed a twin and left the older two to finish getting ready, each hauling their respective small child to Zeff’s room, where the elderly chef was already reading the paper as he sat at the table.

“There goes my peace and quiet,” he grumbled. He watched as they both sat the toddlers on their booster-seat-aided chairs, hoping they would stay still. “Sure you want to give the moss up?”

“If I come back with Zoro, after leaving while promising I was dropping Zoro off, I might not be allowed back into the house,” Usopp deadpanned. He accepted part of the newspaper and gave a warning glare to Lea, who was threatening to slide out of her chair. Once the girl straightened, he looked at the photo that dominated the page: Reiju and her new husband. “You want to know who’s probably having a field day with this?”

“I give up.”

“No idea.”

“Shakky.” Zoro stared emptily at him and he sighed. “You know? Ray’s wife? Bar owner? On Sabaody? The Queen of Information? You know she had Sanji figured out with one look.”

“That viper wouldn’t know good intel if it bit her on the tit,” Zeff bristled, fluffing out his portion of the paper in a huff. Usopp and Zoro both looked at him in shock.

“Do we even want to know?” Usopp cringed.

“Do we even want to know what?” They all looked over towards the door and thank fuck it was Sanji with breakfast. Merry and Asido ran in after him, rushing to their seats before the blond set the serving tray down.

“Zeff knows Shakky and doesn’t like that he does,” Zoro clarified. Sanji stared at his foster father and cringed.

“Okay, I really don’t want to know,” the blond shivered. He started doling out breakfasts—Thousand Sunny lion-face pancakes for the kids and the adults getting scrambled eggs mixed with all manner of cheese, veggies, and bacon, with a side of potatoes. He caught the photo on Usopp’s page of the paper before the other man folded it inwards and passed it back to Zeff. “Related to that, I take it?”

“Related to what?” Asido asked. “Who is Shakky? And Ray?”

“Dad says they’re kinda like Uncle Luffy’s grandparents, but I’ve never met Uncle Luffy, so I’ve never asked him,” Merry said.

“Who is Uncle Luffy anyhow? All I know is that he’s not here, but you talk like he should be.”

“Uncle Luffy is our captain,” Zoro stated. The other adults were quiet, letting Zoro take the lead. “Uncle Sanji, Uncle Usopp, and I all sailed with him and the rest of the crew well before you were born. He has a habit of disappearing.”

“When was the last time someone saw him?”

“At Uncle Usopp and Aunt Kaya’s wedding, before Merry was born.” He shoveled some food in his mouth and chewed, thinking. “That’s actually the last time we saw a lot of people.”

“Don’t remind me—I’m still getting grief from the villagers,” Usopp sighed.

“No one likes Granpappy,” Merry whispered loudly to Asido.

“Merry,” her father warned. “Be nice.”

“It’s true!”

“True isn’t always nice.”

“…but it’s true…”

“No talking about Granpappy at the table, alright?” Usopp knew it was more of an order, not a suggestion, but he also had to be firm with her. “We actually want you to be allowed back for that sleepover, and you won’t be if you don’t behave.”

“Fine,” the girl sighed dramatically before popping a bit of fruit into her mouth. Zeff tried not to laugh as he drank some of his coffee, giving Usopp a knowing look.

“Your eldest has got some spirit—reminds me of the eggplant when he was little,” he chuckled. “Watch out for that one.”

“That sounds like something I did not want to hear,” Usopp deadpanned. “Come on girls, hurry up or you won’t get to play some more before we head out.”

At that, all four children began to eat quickly, rushing out soon as their plates were cleared. Their adults all seemed to let out a collective sigh of not only relief, but of dread as well.

“You sure you want them back?” Usopp wondered. “There’s no shame in backing out.”

“A kid needs friends his own age or they’ll end up like this maladjusted shit,” Zeff said, gesturing at Sanji.

“I’m picking your fucking care home this afternoon, old man.”

“Considering how you’re handling this crisis, I’m willing to hedge my bets.”

Usopp and Zoro both avoided laughing as the two chefs continued sniping at one another, knowing that any amount of vitriol that passed between them was leagues weaker than whatever the fuck it was that kept them together. If there were any two that expressed their familial love with such levels of sarcasm and spite, it was Sanji and Zeff, and it wasn’t like the other two were going to point any of it out.

The rest of breakfast passed as such—it wasn’t as though things were going to change any time soon.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Merry was adamant that she didn’t want to leave her new cousin and super-best-friend. She was so adamant, in fact, that she decided to lay down on the back deck of the Baratie, refusing to move as her father loaded her sisters into their ship. Asido crouched down next to her, poking her shoulder, while Zoro and Sanji were helping secure the twins and pack their bentos, respectively.

“Been a while since she’s thrown a fit like that,” Zoro noted. He made sure that Montie’s backpack leash was securely fastened to the mast and let the toddler go, the child bouncing excitedly at the prospect of going home to see her mother. “Does the sprout do things like that?”

“Honestly? I haven’t had him long enough to know for sure.” Sanji watched the scene play out, wondering what his heart would do if his nephew were ever the one in Merry’s position. “I sure hope I don’t fuck this up.”

“Relax,” Usopp assured. “The kid’s in great hands. By the time the girls come back, you’ll have the hang of this, won’t he Zoro?”

“He’s as pissy as the geezer, so something tells me he’ll be fine,” the green-haired man replied. Sanji threw him an irritated glare and he laughed. “Hey, it’s why I’m here, right? In case shit goes down?”

“You wish.” Sanji then glanced towards the two children remaining on the deck and sighed. “I’ll get her.” He hopped onto the deck and walked over to the four-year-olds, his nephew looking up at him in concern.

“Is she okay?”

“She will be; now up you go.” Sanji tried to pick the girl up, but she resisted. “Whoa, whoa, whoa… you’re acting like I want to throw you overboard in a storm.”

“I wanna stay with Asido,” Merry pouted. “It’s fun having someone my size around.”

“You’ll be back to play before you realize it,” Sanji reminded her. She whimpered as she clung to Asido, giving him a tight hug. The boy did not really know how to respond and looked to his uncle for guidance. After watching the man nod, Asido hugged back, which seemed to placate Merry. “Now come on; time to go.”

“Okay…” Merry walked hand-in-hand with Asido as the three went over to the ship. Now on the deck, Zoro hefted her up and passed her to Usopp, who balanced her on his hip.

“Promise you’ll behave?” Zoro asked. Merry nodded with a sniffle. “Good girl.”

“Have a bunch of fun stories for our sleepover!” Asido insisted. Sanji picked him up and placed him on his shoulders, putting the children at nearly eye-level. The kids both reached for each other, locking their pinkies in a promise.

“I will if you will!” Merry replied. Usopp then pulled her back and placed her down on the deck.

“Time to go back to Mom. Go ahead and wave bye while I’m busy, okay?”

Taking her job seriously, Merry watched as her father let the sail unfurl and began to pull out of the dock. She waved as they sailed away, with Sanji, Asido, and Zoro doing the same from their spot. Once the small ship was out of sight, the two men looked at one another and frowned.

“Let’s get this over with, I guess,” Sanji scowled. Zoro flipped him the middle finger—yeah, just like old times.

[nerdyreaderpapi]

Oh how I missed my babies Adrien and Jade!

1) I absolutely love how Adrien calls Jade “baby love” and “moo” to me they’re such cute nicknames!

2) OMG MY BABY JADE!!! I’m so so so proud of her, and I’m so happy she has such supportive and loving people around her! I’m truly proud of how far she has come and her being nominated for her hard work is amazing! She deserves all the best! I love Adrien’s reaction to the news and I love how he always supports her!

3) Jen!! My baby, I love seeing her appear in chapters! And I’m so happy she found Mr. Right, truly she deserves all the happiness in the world. I truly hope she gets treated right in her marriage and wishing her tons of happiness and success! I’m so proud of her, and her support for Jade is so wholesome. They truly are like sisters!

4) “Dented wife you can handle, dented wallet not so much” that made me giggle 😭😂😂😂 I love how they can play around and joke with each other all the time! They have the moments where they need to be serious and they also hav e their goofy side and I love how you always being that side out of them! It’s truly beautiful!

5) ‘there’s no way in hell I’m letting you near my dick with those. No way. I’m already circumcised; I ain’t looking to lose any more.’ ADRIEN!! 😂😂😂 oh this man never fails to make me laugh, so I see Jade has some claws now that scare him!

6) Stevie and Reece! They’re so adorable and I love how they love their uncle Adrien, he seriously seems like the best uncle ever! Him picking them both up in his arms and his conversation with Reece and Stevie was adorable 🥰😭😭

7) BABY MAKING!!! Yay! I’m so happy for them, I can’t wait for when the times comes when they’re parents! They’re seriously going to be the best, I can’t wait to see that side of them and how they adapt to a new chapter of their lives!

8) I love that Jade and her sister can talk so openly and there isn’t this awkward wake up between them! I love seeing and reading sister relationships like that, where they can be open and spill things without it being weird! I love their bond so much, and Rachel giving Jade some advice was super sweet as well! I love them both so much

9) Marco is absolutely hilarious! Him wanting to know all the details and him flirting with Adrien is absolutely funny. I love their family bond!

10) Adrien telling Jade to buy that underwear in black and something else in red!! Oh boy it most definitely got hot in her, a few times throughout this chapter actually! But I absolutely love it!!

I love this story so much, I love the emotions, the happiness, the sadness, the worry, the scare, the anger you provide through these characters! Honestly it’s all beautiful and so so well written and you truly do feel every emotion coming from each character, and I love the relationship between Adrien and Jade and the relationship they have with each other’s families, it’s fantastic!

Thank you so much for your lovely work! I can’t wait to catch up and read more 💗💗

Sky Full of Stars - Chapter Twenty Two.

Previous chapters - One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Sixteen Seventeen Eighteen Nineteen Twenty Twenty One

Tag list - In the comments

Words - 3,944

Warnings - 18+ content throughout. Minors DNI!

January 23rd, 2016. Cleveland, NY. 

The soft patter of snow, the contented snorting of horses as they ate their breakfast and the clucking of hens. These were the only noises that reached Adrien’s ears as he enjoyed a peaceful morning in his studio, standing back from the large canvas he was working on, deciding where to begin as he drank his tea. Until he heard a third, the studio door opening behind him.  

“How’s Saxon’s hoof looking this morning, baby love?”  

Her beloved Friesian horse, a black giant with a mane that touched his shoulder, had been lame for a week. The root cause? An infected hoof that needed drawing with a poultice twice daily, the stench of the black gunk that ended up in the special hoof boot the foulest thing he’d ever smelled. Poor Mia. She was bereft without her playmate out there in the paddock with her, too, kicking up her heels in the snow with no buddy to charge around with since Saxon was on stable rest. 

“Jade?”  

Turning, he saw her moving towards him, her eyes glazed over, mouth hanging slightly agape. “Honey, you look a little...” he trailed off, trying to catch her eye. Nothing. It was as if somebody had reached in and removed her brain, replacing it with a slow-moving hamster on a wheel.  “Are you okay?”  

The lights were on, but Jade Brody was not home.  

“Moo, before I have to shake you?”  

As it turned out, she was capable of shaking herself. “Sorry, baby. I just... I’m...” 

He nodded, winding his hand in a circular motion. “Those are some words. Care to add a few more?” 

“I... I...” She was still partially stuck in daze mode, so stunned, she had truly been rendered speechless. “I just heard the Oscars nominations, and Five Marked Men more or less swept the board.” 

“It did?” he spoke, his face brightening. “Well, of course it fucking did. It’s an amazing movie!”  

“Yeah, yeah,” she continued, “best picture, best original score, best production design, best director, best actor nomination to Robert De Niro, and best actress in a supporting role nomination... to me.”  

His eyes almost fell out of his head. “Holy shit! Holy fucking shit, Jade! This is huge! Oh, my god, come here!” He threw his arms around her, lifting her up, laughing with utter delighted joy. “I’m so proud of you, Burtie!”  

Finally, she began to smile, but still looked to be in a state of shock. “How... how the hell did I do this? I can’t even... it isn’t processing!”  

He remembered that well. “It didn’t with me either. I remember hearing I’d been nominated and thinking they’d made a mistake, had the biggest case of imposter syndrome right up until I was actually walking towards the stage to accept the award.”  

“Yeah, yeah but you’re an amazing actor who had seventeen years of this behind him when he won! I’m just some bird from Tottenham who shouts a lot and decided to do this on a whim one day!” 

He raised an eyebrow. “One day about, hmm, seventeen years ago this year?” 

“Bloody hell.” 

“I am so proud of you, baby love,” he spoke, placing her back down and giving her a huge kiss. 

“Bloody hell!” 

“Are we stuck on bloody hell mode?” he teased, his wife’s mouth dropping open, closing, and then repeating all over again. 

“Bloody hell.” 

He couldn’t keep his laughter in, not able to remember a time he’d seen her look more stunned than she did right at that moment. “Burtie, your ass is ringing.”  

Shaking herself, she pulled her phone out, putting it on speaker. There wasn’t even chance to say hello before the verbal explosion hit her.  

“Skippy! You fucking superstar, oh my fucking god I am screaming!” 

“As I hear,” she just about got chance to say, Jen’s excitement vibrating the speaker of her iPhone.  

“Congratulations! I swear, you’ve won it, it’s you! You were perfect in that movie, made a tough ole’ boot like me cry, y’know? Made me feel all the damned emotions, so yeah, and I’m blabbing but I can’t think straight because my best fucking friend got nominated for an Oscar and oh my god!” 

“Jen, my ears, darlin’?” she was just about able to make out, the sound of a slightly deafened Nick in the background. “Jade! Congrats, babe! This one here hasnae been able to stop screaming about it yet!” 

“As I hear, mate!” she laughed, she and Adrien leaving the studio and walking back around to the house, hand in hand.  

“Ahh, well I’ll leave you and the missus to it, like. Gotta head out in all this bastard fucking snow and buy milk because my fucking wifey here cannae remember shite! Laters, hon.” 

Yes, a few things were different in her surrounding world, one of the main changes being that Jen had finally met Mr Right. Nick Anderson had come into her life as a brand-new drum tech two years prior, when the girls had embarked on another world tour back in twenty fourteen, the pair hitting it off so well that they’d ended up together quite quickly. Two impossibly energetic people with huge, lovely personalities who thrived on beating the hell out of a drumkit. They were perfect for one another and had married just eight months before right there at Stone Barn Castle.  

Originally hailing from the small skiing town of Aviemore in Scotland, he’d moved out to America ten years before with the first Mrs. Anderson, their marriage not lasting for long after the move. A number of factors had put the death knell upon it, the main one being what was actually a draw to Jen; he didn’t want children. Neither did she, no matter how much she genuinely adored small people, they just weren’t for her.  

Speaking of small people, Jade had to get moving pretty soon after entering the house and having another coffee, still reeling from the shock news but having a full day ahead of her. Her sister, her husband Chris and their two children were coming up to stay for a few days, Jade tasked with driving to Syracuse to collect them from the airport.  

While that coffee was sipped at, she was studied, Jade catching his eye across the island. “What?” 

“Are you going to be okay to drive? Because I know the snow isn’t too bad and the roads are clear and all that, but I’m kinda anxious you might space out and end up wrapping your car around a tree. I neither want a banged-up wife nor for her to smash the hell out of her new ride.” He’d rather she didn’t either, not just because he obviously didn’t want an injured wife on his hands, but damn, a custom detailed Audi Q7 did not come cheap. 

She paused, narrowing her eyes over the steam emitting her coffee cup. “You care more about the car than me, don't you? Dented wife you can handle. Dented wallet, not so much.” 

“Damn,” he fumed playfully, clicking his fingers, “she got me.” Lifting his chin, the entertainment played on his face, guffawing when he raised her middle finger. “Oh, don’t be like that, baby love. With your goddamned talons.” 

She’d decided to give herself a manicure, her own fairly short nails all hidden beneath the long, pointy claws glued on and painted a neutral shade of nude pink. “You didn’t complain about them when they were buried in your back last night.” 

“Nope, you know I like a little scratching. I’m still nervous about them coming near my junk, though.” Nervous was somewhat of an understatement. When she’d shown him her literal handiwork, the first words out of his mouth had been ‘there’s no way in hell I’m letting you near my dick with those. No way. I’m already circumcised; I ain’t looking to lose any more.’ She’d made sure to be very careful while handling the goods later the previous night, yet he’d still flinched a few times.  

At least the animals of the Brody household appreciated the fact that their mom now came with the best scratching implements, though, the cats thriving, the dogs enjoying an ear scratch, and Mia and Saxon both appreciating the scritches they’d received that morning as she’d groomed them both.  

Making a flexing motion with her hand, she aimed it at his crotch, walking around the island to him, Adrien reversing at speed. “Stop this, no, Jade!” 

“I can be gentle. See?” she spoke, grabbing his arm and gently raking her nails over the bulge in his jeans. “See? It’s all tickly on your balls. He likes. Look at the face!”  

He still looked a little uncomfortable, finally relaxing when he did realise it wasn’t unpleasant. “Mmm. Prefer your mouth.” Leaning to her, his lips met hers, grumbling happily as their tongues entwined, feeling his cock beginning to stir. “How much time do you have before you leave?” 

“Not enough for what you’re thinking, so you’re going to have to simmer, Mr. B.” 

He bit her lip with an annoyed growl. “Cock tease.” 

“Well, you knew this right from the moment we first met,” she reasoned, patting his abs and picking up her bag. “You can wait until later.” 

More growling. “Not even five minutes? There’s a lot a man can achieve in five minutes.”  

She paused, thoughtful, moving his hair and kissing the side of his neck. He’d grown it long, and god, how she loved it. “Save it for later.” Running her nails over his chest, she tickled his cock again, trailing them down to his thighs and then around to his bum before ascending his back once more, leaving him quivering. “Because later, I will follow everywhere my nails just went with my tongue.”  

Kissing him again, she left him standing there burning, muttering to himself. He had thought that perhaps the sexual magic of her might wane a little after just over six years together, but it truly showed no signs of abating. True, they weren’t all over one another quite as often as they had been right in the fledgling stages of their relationship, but mostly that was because of their careers putting distance between them.  

The fact that they couldn’t be together all of the time seemed to have kept the spark burning very brightly, he had to note. Even when she made his flicker and then walked away, just as she’d done that morning. He knew her game, though, getting him all amped up so it’d be in the back of his head all day. While she departed, he went down to the stables, a saddle and bridle in his arms, approaching a very happy looking Mia. 

“Yes, we’re going out. Come on, pretty face. Back up.” Moving her away from her stable door as he entered, he placed the saddle onto the door itself, putting her bridle on first. Between Jade herself and Bob when they were at their house in England, over the past few years he’d grown to become quite a competent horseman, even buying one for himself.  

Shamrock, also known as ‘that bastard animal’ lived over the other side of the pond in England, a huge, seventeen hands high former racehorse Adrien had found and loved, despite his predisposition to misbehave. He’d lost count of the number of times the nine-year-old steed had bolted with him, but if anything, it had made him a much more competent rider, having to get used to something so whip smart and predisposed to acting out.  

Riding Mia was a completely different ballgame, though, the horse more like a well-behaved sofa, as he often likened her. She was impeccably mannered and comfortable as hell to ride, Adrien jumping onto her back and gathering the reins, whistling for his dogs. It’d be a nice, sedate ride, not having to wonder about when the horse he was aboard was about to start huffing and puffing, jogging around or rearing up, all of which he did with Sham. Mia remained as much of a lamb as always. 

By the time his wife had returned, he was freshly showered and thawed out, coming into the kitchen as they were entering, having his favourite tiny person running for him as soon as she spotted him. 

“Uncle Adween!” At only fifteen months old, Stevie was still getting used to speech, some words beyond her grasp. Even her own name.  

“Beevs!” he laughed, lifting her into his arms and kissing her cheek, blowing a raspberry that had her squealing. She was commonly known at Beevs, Beevie or The Beev, being that she couldn’t pronounce Stevie. Jade she could say properly, but to her was aunt shouty, pronounced more as ‘showteeeee’. It still cracked him up. “How are you?” 

“Is cold and I no like it,” she told him, cuddling into his warmth as he greeted Chris with a one-armed hug.  

“Oh look, see look at this, being all cute for your uncle when you were a monster on the flight!” he spoke, shaking his head. 

“I no monsfer! I cute!” Oh yes, she was. Until she wasn’t. Until she was, as her father coined it, doing her best tiny Lucifer impersonation.  

“Kid, you are hell in a dress,” Rachel spoke, greeting Adrien with a big hug and kiss. “Look at this hair, bro! Woah! Suits you,” she then added, giving his curls a little comb with her fingers.  

“Thanks, Rach,” he replied, before having his ear bended by the incessant chatter of his tiny niece, his nephew Reece thumping against his leg after running for him, Adrien bending to lift him onto his other arm.  

“Can we go see the horses, uncle Adrien? Please?” At four, his speech was flawless, making his demands known in very good voice. “Please, please, please?” 

“Hey, quit nagging, tiny,” his mother advised, pinching his cheek, “we only just got here and already you’re starting with the overlord antics.” 

Reece looked thoughtful, cuddling his uncle, hiding beneath his hair. “But can we?” 

“And the chances of you shutting up until I say yes are?” he asked. 

The child made a tiny gap between his thumb and forefinger. “This much!” 

Replicating the gesture, he smiled, kissing his head. “Alright. Let’s go.” 

While her husband ventured back out with the kids, her sister and brother-in-law heading upstairs to get situated in one of the guest bedrooms, Jade made a start on lunch, chopping vegetables and taking the pre-shredded roasted chicken she’d cooked the previous night from the fridge, chicken noodle soup on the menu. Once they’d eaten, the kids were once again full of energy and soup, tearing around the garden with their daddy and uncle, Jade and Rachel watching from beside the fire in the kitchen.  

“He’s great with them,” the latter spoke, nodding at where Adrien was assisting with the building of a snowman. “He’ll make an amazing daddy someday.” 

Jade hummed, her mouth tilting upwards. “Hopefully sooner rather than later.” 

Oh, how she loved to just casually drop such news into conversation. “Oh my god, really? You didn’t tell me!” her sister cried, reaching to slap her knee playfully a few times. “Since when?” 

“Not long,” she confessed, sipping her latte. “I stopped taking my pill in October, but between not seeing him and never working out when I’m ovulating with any kind of accuracy, it hasn’t happened for us just yet.” 

“Don’t expect it to either,” Rachel warned lightly with a pointed finger, “I know we’re a fertile people, but still, it was seven months of trying for us before I got pregnant with Reece.” 

A fertile people was an understatement, with how fast their mother had become pregnant, and the rate their uncle’s had populated the family with their cousins, fifteen of them in total. Rachel herself had become pregnant with Stevie remarkably quickly, too. Well, it had been Stevie and her twin, but sadly the foetus had died at only a few weeks in. 

“Oh no, I’m not. We’re being fairly casual about it all, more like if it happens soon then great, but we’re not putting any pressure on ourselves.” Jade confirmed with a casual wave of her hand.  

While she and Adrien weren’t in a hurry, for years they’d been the focus of the public and media wondering why year after year passed and they hadn’t decided to have children. Truly, it was nobody else’s business, why they’d chosen to focus on their careers and their marriage before adding children to the equation, and that was the simple truth of the matter. People could think whatever the hell they liked, and usually it was a million miles from the truth.  

‘I will never understand why it is that society puts this enormous pressure upon couples to procreate within a certain time frame, or at all. It’s a perfectly valid choice to remain child free if that’s what you both want. My husband and I do want children one day, but us not starting a family yet is seen as something alien, that we desire to devote our time to each other and our careers. We’re both still young, we have plenty of time, yet our stance is seen as abnormal for some reason.’ 

Those were the words she gave in an interview just a year before when speaking with the journalist about the fact that they’d been child free for the duration of their five years, as it was at the time. The woman speaking with her was in staunch agreement, too, that the societal pressures for married couples to have children with an expected time frame was quite frankly ridiculous.  

“I have to say though, Rach,” Jade began, her eyebrows fluttering as a smile spread across her lips. “That baby making sex does hit different.” 

“Right?” her sister chimed, nodding vigorously. “Always does with men. Procreation horny is different, and I can’t explain why, but it is!” 

“Sends ‘em feral,” she agreed, looking out at Adrien approvingly. “All I have to say to him is, ‘get over here and put a baby in me’ and the speed he moves at,” she giggled, making a rapid motion with her finger coupled with a sharp whistle, Rachel in soft fits.  

“Oh, one thing, though? If you do start to seriously begin tracking your ovulation, don’t make it all about the baby making when you do have sex, because the novelty of it can wear off quickly and it becomes really focused on the procreation part, rather than the enjoyment. That put a dent in us for a while, back when we were trying to conceive Reece.” 

“Becomes a little mechanical, huh?” 

Rachel pointed, crossing her legs as she sat back in the armchair, Salem jumping onto her lap. “Yes, that’s exactly it and trust me, big sis. It dampens the spark as much as a few gallons of cold water.”  

Her advice was noted.  

“If you do want to go down that road, though, use an ovulation tracker app. Just put your details in, date of your last period, etc, and it calculates it all for you and then sends an alert when you start ovulating. Here, this is the one I used.”  

Taking her sister’s phone, she had a look at it, picking up her phone and downloading it before entering all of her info. “Oh blimey,” she exclaimed, resting a hand to her chest, “right now until tomorrow morning.” 

“Well, there you have it, but please, get those eggs fertilized quietly. I cannot with hearing the acoustics of my sister having sex. Not again.” 

Jade winked, flashing a grin of teeth. “I make no promises.” 

“Bleugh. Deviant.”  

“You have no idea,” she teased, Rachel’s eyes widening. 

“I fucking do! Mom told me all about the hook!” 

It might have happened five years ago, but god, how it still made her laugh. She couldn’t be in the kitchen pantry without having a little snort, remembering Adrien hiding in there after being stalked by her mother. “You have no idea how embarrassed he was. He’s so cute! He can be an absolute beast in the bedroom, and you just wouldn’t think it because he’s so quiet and nice.”  

“I’d rather not think of my brother-in-law like that at all.” she shuddered, sending her sister into another fit of giggles. Beyond a few little inquiries back when they first got together, Rachel was definitely more like her father where the topic of sex was concerned.  

Marco, on the other hand, had wanted to know everything. ‘So, what’s he packing? How many inches? Cut or uncut? Don’t you dare be holding out on me! I have to know the dick details! I’ve fantasised about this man!’ Yes, her brother had definitely been more uncouth at the time. He also flirted shamelessly with Adrien whenever he saw him, who took it all in his stride.  

Changing the subject, they instead talked more about their lives, Rachel once again relaying just how proud she was, that her beloved big sister had been nominated for an Oscar. Even hours after it had been announced, the news was still yet to sink in any further. Later that night, the house quiet, everyone in bed and Jade sitting up being her usual night owl self, it still hadn’t.  

“Baby love? You okay?”  

She had gone to bed, but that had been at 1am. After riding her husband into the bed and sending him into a deep sleep, she’d struggled dropping off at his side. Apparently, the sleep he’d found hadn’t been deep enough not to notice when she’d gotten up quietly half an hour later.  

“Yeah, gorgeous. Yeah, I’m fine. Just can’t seem to switch my brain off,” she replied, Adrien moving behind where she sat at the island on her laptop, wrapping his arms around her. “I’m still struggling to believe it’s real.” 

He could identify with that. “It’ll sink in, eventually. You have to know you’ve earned it, though, don’t you? Seriously, I’m not just saying it but I think it’s your best role to date. You deserve it.” Kissing her cheek, he rested her chin to his shoulder, looking at the screen. “Remember when I used to tell you, when we were going through never ending shit, how it’d get better? Well, better is here. It’ll be even better if you buy that underwear in black, too. Use my card.” 

In times of feeling a little out of sorts, whether good or bad, she shopped. On that particular night, it was the Bordelle website, her favourite lingerie brand. “It only comes in gold or dark blue. Which would you rather I’m wearing while you come in me?”  

Her dirty wit. How he loved it. “Definitely blue.” Reaching for the bowl of keys and general things to the side of the island, he grabbed his Amex card, handing it to her with a kiss. His eyes were then distracted by the next page. “Get those, too. Oh damn, and that.” 

“In red?” 

His smile widened. “Mm.”  

“Is this getting you all horny again?” 

Wrapping his arms around her again, she felt the evidence press against her spine. How the hell he was still so down to fuck at the drop of a hat – or the sight of sexy underwear, as it was – at nearly forty-two, she didn’t know. Okay, so he wasn’t exactly past it just yet, still young, but even still. He had the refresh rate of a guy half his age. She wasn’t averse to it, though. Obviously. 

After all, they had a baby to make.  

[cyborg-franky]

Hi Franky!!

Is it possible to see a head cannon of the straw hats or wbp’s as what they are like as an older brother/sister to the reader? I haven’t seen or found anything along these lines really and I think it would be really fun to read and connect to!

I will try my best <3

Franky - Big brother/uncle vibes as it is. - Would try and teach you so much - Would throw hands for you but also teach you how to fight too - Would want to impart all his wisdom onto you. Usopp - NERVOUS always nervous he'll mess up - Tells you so many stories - Wishes with all his heart you'll look up to him - Always tries to give the best advice, might not always work Nami - Acts annoyed all the time but really she adores you - Has always been the younger sibling so was a dynamic shift for her - Spoils you rotten because she loves you so much - Passes on her navigation skills - Will fight a bitch for you for any minor inconvenience. Jinbei - More of dad/uncle vibes but feels young and alive when seen as an older brother - Also good with advice - Never steers you wrong - tough love though - But is gentle when needed Luffy - Only ever been seen as the younger sibling - Shows you dumb and gross tricks - Takes nothing seriously and you guys just mess around and annoy the rest of the crew - Will help you fight your own battles and be there to fight them for you if needed. Zoro - Is the bad older brother who plys you with drink - you and Zoro bully Sanji as a team - He doesn't let you touch his swords but he will get you your own and you'll learn how to sword fight - More tough love but also encouragement. Sanji - GOD, HE TRIES SO HARD TO BE EVERYTHING HIS BROTHERS WEREN'T - perhaps tries to hard and becomes full on and maybe has toxic positvity - SO OVER PROTECTIVE - Does not think anyone is good enough for you ever Robin - You learn alot from Robin - good, kind, wonderful teacher - teaches you all the fun pranks - gives you valuable life skills Chopper - OH LORD, THE PRESSURE TO BE A BIG BROTHER - PLEASE DON'T PRAISE ME ASSHOLE - Teaches you first aid - TOO soft with you. Brook - Bad habits and good times - Lets you get away with alot - Is so touched you see him as an older brother - Just wants to be 'cool' and 'fun' though ------------------------------------- Izou - 'Do as I say not as I do' - Will teach you many things - Pretends to be annoyed all the time but is really proud of you - Shows you how to fight - Big found family vibes as well as having his own blood relation sibling. Ace - He is so used to being a 'big brother' that he falls into it so naturally - Shows you cool stuff - a little tough love when it comes to teaching you how to look after yourself - Teases you playfully - Always a shoulder to cry on Marco - Gives off too many uncle vibes to be a big brother - when he tries he kinda becomes too slack and an awkward role model - Just wants you to have fun and a good time - Shows you how to express yourself though - Always a good person to run to when your sad Thatch - FEELS YOUNG AND HAPPY YOU CONSIDER HIM AN OLDER SIBLING - Shows you how to cook - wants to impart all his wisdom even if you don't want to listen - "How you doing kiddo?" -WHACKS YOU ON THE BACK- - cries with you

TAG LIST:

@undercoverweeeb @acesmarigold @sugxrslushy @thatsprettycoolbro @kaizokuwritings @slut4animedilfs @sanjithesimp @fire-fist-ann @rivvd-art @angeltani @mimi-ya @aifozu @simp4ace @useless-potatho @iloveportgasdace @smoleeveewrites @strawhat-bast @gonuclear @secretsnailor @dxvilmanlev @saisei-no-hano @rae-vynn @childofblackmaria @rosiinante @donivanessdoodles @my-muses-in-op

[hiraya-rawr]

So I ask mom and mama (Grandma) who are they going to vote and they Marcos.

What are you thoughts on that I don't know anything about him so.. 🤔

03 tw: PH Politics

There's a reason why the vast majority of students and universities are against BB M4rcos :')) In fact, there's really a lot so I'll try to sum it up.

Aside from the post below, I highly encourage you to do research at reliable sources! (Like reports from the united nations, international news stations, etc.) Avoid opinion articles without references!

I know politics is really stressful and heavy, but let's carefully (and slowly) expose ourselves for the sake of awareness and our future!

(last part has my personal note to you!)

(From my logical side) His platform and political activity is underwhelming. He lacks a stand for environment, women, and territorial disputes. He also doesn't have a built campaign for education and agriculture (remember, our farmers and fishermen are vital for stable communities!).

(From my petty side as a human rights advocate) Imagine being the son of a dictator, with hundreds of survivors sharing their experiences and stories. More than 11,000 victims, 2,000 murders and missing people. Most of which were students and lawyers. Your own mother CONFIRMED the use of torture and military force, the international court also confirmed it, the United Nations Human Rights Council (UNHRC) also confirmed it — yet as you stand on stage to spread your campaign, you denied ever single one of their experience.

My own uncle was imprisoned as a student actually. They called him a terrorist and his acquaintances were beaten.

Whereas, the richer side of my family profited (shamefully). We were part of the "rich growing richer" and "the poor growing poorer". This is also why a part of my family supports him. It's called crony capitalism (his father's rule is a textbook example of it too!)

Things his diehard supporters need to know:

1. Why are you so adamant to defend someone who won't even show up on debates for you? All of the other candidates show up to defend and present themselves, spread their agenda, interact, etc.

2. Compared to his infamous dictator father, isn't he underwhelming? His ambition, as stated in a live interview, was that he went into politics for money. Isn't that clear enough?

3. He doesn't have a degree. He lied about his Oxford diploma to the point that Oxford released a formal statement denying him. Don't you dare tell me a "degree isn't everything" when so many people work hard to get a great education in this country. He is a candidate for presidency, why not have one with a degree.

4. Martial law was never the golden age. Check every international textbook, every peso-to-dollar exchange rate, we were dropping rapidly.

5. "A lot of infrastructure were built during his father's time!" Those were debt-driven reforms, meaning buildings were built through debts left unpaid. We still continue to pay them UNTIL NOW. There are court hearings demanding the money back but, well, justice systems are unfair.

6. The "achievements" of the father are not the achievements of the son. He needs to build himself, not use his last name.

7. Again with him supporting people that have a negative presence for women's rights, environment, and LGBTQ.

8. The world is watching. I have friends abroad asking "is your country really voting for a dictator's son?" and it's humiliating that theyre more aware than us :(

There's so much more I have to say and clarify but please do take the time to research. Especially if you're entering the voting age! I started delving into politics at grade 9 and I understand how heavy it can be, especially when we're dealing with stubborn family members, but for the sake of educating the people around us, let's do our best!

note: I don't want to be THAT person encouraging family fights, but please do try convincing your family :')) there's only a few days left and it's crazy how people choose so carelessly. Let them consider other candidates, like Leni or Ka Leody, Kiko, or senators in the pink party list.

I'm lucky that most of my family is Leni-Kiko, but I can no longer deal with the ignorance of my BBM family side, especially if it negatively impacts the future of others :( they don't even have actual reasons, they don't know a thing about his campaign etc, they love him for his father and it really gives me cult-mindset vibes. It's very closed minded and harmful for us, especially for the less privileged 😖

Politics stresses me and I wish I never have to campaign for something as basic as compassion hcjshdjdjhed

[kingfritzhater]

If they lived...

AOT headcanons of how different ships would live if they were still alive.

Manga Spoilers!!!

Eruri:

They move outside of Paradis, Erwin always wanted to know if there were humans outside the walls and now he wants to know how different their lives are from what he knows.

Once they settle down and Levi opens his teashop, Erwin offers to help but Levi won’t allow him as he thinks the tea he makes is horrendous, in the end, Erwin manages the money and Levi takes care of the rest. 

They still spend a lot of time with Gabi and Falco, Gabi always insists in moving Levi’s wheelchair (since Erwin is still missing an arm), and Falco adores listening to Erwin’s stories about the survey corps and life inside the walls.

Eremika:

They live hidden in Paradis, they built a little cottage in one of the giant tree forests outside of where the walls were and are very careful to stay hidden, Eren feels guilty that Mikasa has to live hiding like she was when her family was prosecuted by the government, but she doesn’t care, she still has him and their friends.

The remaining members of the alliance visit them pretty often, bringing them gifts from all around the world, Armin sends them books and pictures of the places they visit by mail every time he can. 

Many years go by, and Eren still can’t believe that this is his life, the day he notices some grey hairs and wrinkles in Mikasa’s face he starts crying from just the realisation of how happy he is to grow old together.

Levihan:

Hange is pretty sad when titans stop existing, so to make them happy Levi helps them get their hands on any scientific information that the outside world has developed, no matter how much it costs.

Hange switched their passion for titans to the works of the human body (and they almost fainted once they found out about germ theory), so Levi became their test subject for any time she wanted to test something that they read in some book.

Hange makes it their life purpose to find a way to make Levi be able to walk again, and after coming up with a pretty good prototipe some previous members of the military come asking for help for their missing limbs, so now they make prosthesis for free to anyone who needs it.

Nicosasha:

They open a restaurant in the countryside, Sasha plants a garden to get fruits and vegetables and hunts for the meat and Niccolo does the cooking.

When Niccolo decided to propose, he asked her father for his approval, what he did not expect was having to get the approval of Jean, Connie, Mikasa, Historia and Levi, the old captain was just as terrifying in a wheelchair as he was before.

They usually babysit Historia’s child since they live pretty close and they get along pretty well, the first name she learned how to say was hers, though it sounded more like “asha”, Sasha will always brag that she is the best aunt in the world.

Yumihisu/Yumikuri:

The baby still exists, but the farmer is just a way to keep Historia safe, yet Ymir still finds similarities between them and jokes about if Historia isn’t sure that she isn’t hers.

Ymir always remembers how she didn’t even have a name as a child, so now every achievement of their daughter is recorded, in fact, she asked Historia to get her a camera from the outside world to be more efficient in this task.

They both are the kind of parent that likes to show off their child to anyone who will listen, no matter how ashamed she gets.

Mobuhan:

They never settle down, both travel the world discovering new places and wonders, it started when Onyankopon invited them to his homeland and now they can’t stop, unintentionally they’ve done more for Paradis’s international relationships than anyone else just by making friends wherever they go.

Moblit proposes out of the blue, even taking Hange by surprise, they were visiting some place and Hange looked the happiest they’ve ever been and with the excuse of looking for something he left, Moblit ran to the nearest jewelry store and bought a ring, asking the question that night, Hange said yes in tears.

Their wedding is the biggest event Paradis has seen in recent years, even when the current military does not like them they can’t do anything without risking a major international conflict, specially with so many important figures present.

Reibert:

They move away from Libero, Bertholdt’s father had died, and Reiner’s mother being there hurt him too much, so they go back to Paradis, enjoying their lives away from the city.

As a way to silently pay back to the people of the island, and also due to Reiner’s love for children, they often volunteer in orphanages or help local schools and families, it does not take them long to adopt a boy and a girl.

Gabi and Falco visit them constantly, Gabi is the only way Reiner keeps contact with the rest of his family and she adores their children, Falco almost fainted when one of them called him uncle.

Jeanmarco:

Marco lost an eye in Trost, even then, they both join the survey corps as a way to honor their lost comrades, any time he sees Marco during a mission Jean worries that he won’t be as lucky this time, and that Marco might die that day.

They were horrified when he discovered how deep the corruption in the military police went, more Marco than Jean, so once Historia becomes the queen they offer all the advice they can give about reforms to the military.

Post rumbling, they both settle down in a nice house where once was wall Sina, now tired from the battle, the only missions they do are negotiations between Paradis and the rest of the world, they are the first to retire.

Kenuri:

Uri punches Kenny in the face when he discovered that he hid the fact that he had a nephew and abandoned him, it took a week of Kenny begging for Uri to talk to him again, now he adores Levi and finds it amusing how similar he is to Kenny.

They both love Historia and try to help her in any way they can with her labours as queen, Uri gives her advice and helps her to gain the trust of many important figures in Paradis and Kenny takes a more aggressive approach, threatening to kill anyone who questions her authority.

When Historia’s baby is born they go in full grandfather mode, once they met her they could not stop crying and at one point Uri had to try to take her away from Kennys arms, a pretty difficult task due to their height difference

Petruo/Auretra:

They've been together for years, but only told their families after the female titan arc, Petra’s father felt pretty embarrassed about his earlier conversation with Levi, but didn’t tell their comrades as they felt pretty shy about it.

After the battle of Shiganshina Auruo proposed to her in front of everyone, holding a ring that belonged to his mother and had been holding on to for months now, the only one that wasn’t surprised with this was Levi.

Petra asked Levi to make a small speech at their wedding, which he surprisingly agreed to do, when he did he talked about how he knew Auruo liked Petra from the moment he saw them and how jealous he would get, and would intentionally assign them to the same tasks together by themselves so one of them finally dared to confess, by the time he returned to his table, both of their faces were completely red.

Mikenana:

While Mike managed to hide from the best titan and come out unscarred, Nanaba was not so lucky, losing one of her legs at Utgard Castle and having to retire from the military.

During the uprising arc, Mike joined the new Levi squad and went into hiding, Nanaba became essential to collecting information behind the scenes, as she could easily go under the radar, so she stayed with Hange and Moblit.

When Mike returned from the battle of Shiganshina, Nanaba ran to him in her crutches and jumped into his arms as soon as she was close enough, and didn’t let go until she could convince herself that he really survived.

Hilow/Hitchmaru:

Seeing as her efforts to convince him to not join the survey corps were failing, Hitch just directly confessed her feelings to him as a last effort to save him, Marlowe told her he felt the same way, but he knew his destiny was with the scouts.

Both Marlowe and Floch survived the battle of Shiganshina, when Floch starts talking very sharply to the families of the deceased Marlowe shuts him up, when Hitch asks him why he is so determined to stop him he says “Imagine if I died and he said those things to you”.

Marlowe is captured by the jaegerists and couldn’t join the alliance, once Hitch manages to free him he expresses his frustration with not being able to go to battle, yet he is still happy that he does not have to leave Hitch one more time.

[itslieutenanthawkeye]

I Miss Him

Day 4 of Jeankasa Week 2021: Angst

AO3

The world is a cruel place, but also very beautiful.

Her mother hadn’t been the same for a while now. It wasn’t like her to become so nostalgic; his whole life, all he recalled was her sweet smiles, the kindness in her voice, that drive to live every moment to the fullest. Even as grandchildren kept piling around her, she smiled all the time. And now, she looked like a graying flower, sitting by herself by the window.

“Hey, little lady,” he said, placing a cup between her hands, kissing his mother on the forehead. She gave him a small smile, sighing into her cup. “You haven’t eaten at all today. Lily’s going to make you some toast, and we can dip that into your tea.”

“You…have a sweet daughter,” his mother replied in a tired voice. Sometimes Marco regretted deeply having waited so long to have children; he really wished Lily could’ve met his mother from the past. “You need to stop working yourself to death, Marco.”

“Mom,” he said, running a hand through her gray hair. “I’ve told you it won’t be for long. Eight months to build the military base up north, that’s all. I come here as much as I can. After that, I can come see you more.”

“I’m talking about you spending time with my granddaughter,” his mother said, shaking her head in a small, clumsy movement. She’d been so strong his whole life, that seeing her withering away in her little chair sent a wave of shock through him each time he came to visit. “Honey, your wife is going to have a child soon. Your father, he always—”

“I know, I know,” he said, his chest stinging slightly. “I’m trying to be like him. I want to provide for everyone, but it’s harder now. We don’t have a royal pension like you did back then, not since the monarchy was abolished.”

“I understand,” his mother said, taking a deep breath between ever word, dropping the matter as she often did the past few days. The strength had gone out from her, he knew. “Honey, I’m not going to be around for much longer.”

He sat next to her, taking her wrinkled little hand into his, his soul aching at the way years had gone through her. He’d seen pictures of her and his father from years ago. They’d both been soldiers, and she had been the greatest of them all, according to what his fathers and his uncles had told him. As a child, he’d always thought she was still the strongest woman alive, stronger than some of the weapons the island had begun to fabricate.

“Mom, don’t say that,” he said, kissing her hand. “Sasha’s coming later today with all of the kids, to plan Sora’s wedding with that boy, James. My Lily is barely ten. Don’t you want to see them all grow a little more?”

“You are a lot like your father, have I told you that? You look exactly like him.” his mother said, cradling his face while giving him that sweet, motherly smile he adored. She’d truly been the best mother; he couldn’t remember one occasion in which she didn’t give them all the love inside her heart. He couldn’t remember one occasion in which she’d looked at his father or at them with anything other than pure, unbridled love.

“Yes.” he said, smiling back at her.

“I miss him. I miss your father so much.” His mother said, her eyes becoming shiny with tears. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her. “It’s been a whole year since he left, and I still miss him.”

“I miss him too, mom.” He said, feeling his chest tightening at the memory of the day he’d returned to the news of the passing of his father. His mother had accepted his fate with a quiet sort of grief, trying her best to keep her strength to console her grandchildren, who had been just as devastated by the news.

A year had passed, and despite them being saddened by the memory of their grandfather, the children had moved on with their lives. With school, their friends, and whatever extracurricular activities they had, their grief had become a dull aching that came out during their quiet times, those hours when there was nothing else but contemplate life and its losses. And given her old age, most of his mother’s time was spent contemplating.

“The world is cruel,” she muttered, more to herself than to him. “I never thought I would lose two great loves in one lifetime. I never thought this second one would burn so much more.”

“It is also beautiful, though. We lived in a beautiful world while he was here. We still do, mom. We still all love you so much.” Marco replied in a quiet voice, to which his mother smiled.

“We had a happy life, didn’t we?” she said, her voice faint.

“Yes, mom, we had the happiest life.” He said, sighing deeply. Her childhood and adolescence have been rough; he’d known that since an incredibly young age, from the stories he’d heard, the rumors people told and the history books he’d picked up when nobody was watching. She didn’t like telling them details of the past, of the losses she and his father withstood. Despite the piles of trauma left behind by their first twenty years of life, the following years she had lived in an almost idyllic peace alongside his father, Marco and his two other sisters.

As all good things, it had been meant to end at a point. And it had ended with his father’s death.

“We fought for so long,” his mother said, closing her eyes. “For a moment back in my youth, I thought I would be content alone after the dust settled.”

Marco perked up at this. It was rare to hear her talk about her past. “Did you?”

His mother nodded. “I’m happy I got to love your father the way I did. I’m happy he loved me back, even after everything that happened,” she said, smiling once more. “I just hope that I was able to make him as happy and loved as he made me.”

“You did, mom,” he assured her, kissing her wrinkled face. “He had that huge crush on you right until the end, didn’t he?”

“Yes, he did. I miss him, Marco. I want to be with him again,” she said with a low giggle, then her face dropped, and a single tear ran down her face. She wiped it with the sleeve of her cardigan with a trembling hand, and then another fell across her skin. “I miss him.”

“I miss him too, mom.” He said, wiping her face with his thumbs. “But I swear you’re not alone. I swear you will see him again.”

“I miss him.” His mother sobbed softly.

“I know.” he said, hugging his mother quietly, certain there was not much else for him to do.

[lorenfangor]

For your fic meme! Jake/Cassie, Fairytale AU and Arranged Marriage. Also if you feel like it, Rachel/Tobias and Proposal Fic mashed with Poorly Timed Confession.

(I’ll eventually write that R/T, but Jake/Cassie is calling my name)

Jacob Berenson is a 24-year-old veteran of a faerie war; his older brother got kidnapped by the Night Court and he wound up joining up on the side of the Summer Court to save his family

He destroyed a majority of the realm of the Night Emperor by setting off a magic bomb crystal spell thing, ending the conflict but killing his brother and his parents and many civilians of the court in the process

the Emperor survived and cursed him; he’s living full-time as a tiger in a household with only a few brownies and house spirits trapped as enchanted servants, a single Summer Court noble named Menderash who’s trapped as a relief sculpture over a fireplace, and his equally-cursed best friend Marco, who’s stuck full-time as a lobster (sometimes he has a little tuxedo. he does actually genuinely enjoy being a lobster, he doesn’t think it sucks too much. most of that is making do with a sucky situation, though.)

Marco’s parents were also killed in the war; Jake is all he’s got left.

they’re all living in a ruined castle that used to be one of the binding points between the Faerie Realms and the mortal world; it was destroyed in the war and has formed a sort of pocket universe

Cassandra “Cassie” Harper and her friend Rachel have grown up in a village near the ruined castle hearing stories about it. Cassie’s betrothed to Rachel’s cousin Jake, who she was friends with as a kid, but doesn’t know what happened to him after he disappeared just after when he turned thirteen

Cassie vanishes into the ruined palace grounds one day when she’s chasing after an injured deer, and promptly gets caught by the curse, which entraps anyone who sets foot in the palace proper and prevents them from leaving. It can only be broken by reciprocated true love, by Jake falling in love with someone who loves him back.

Rachel, convinced she’s not crazy and her friend hasn’t run off to find her probably-dead fiancé like the townspeople thinkC starts watching the entrance where Cassie was last seen and gets noticed one day by a hawk, which she rescues from a really creepy looking very magical-seeming black crow thing

The hawk is a fae prince named Tobias, whose father and mother were killed by the still-missing Emperor - the war isn’t over, just in a period of long and restless waiting

Tobias tells Rachel everything, she realizes that the Jacob he keeps talking about is her cousin who vanished, and sets out to find a way to save both him and Cassie

He tells her that his uncle Aximili is trying unsuccessfully to rule their people in Elfangor’s stead, but is opposed by indolent and self-serving lords and ladies who don’t want anything to do with war and keep ignoring him.

He also tells her something crucial: they’re running out of time. The curse has a catch that Jake doesn’t know about - if he hits 25 years of age without breaking it, he becomes a real tiger and loses all of his humanity and self-awareness and will be magically driven to kill and maul anything he sees.

Rachel goes off to the Summer Court to try and find a way to break the curse; she and Tobias fall in love over the course of their B-plot while Cassie and Jake start falling for one another

Jake believes he’s a monster who can’t be saved or redeemed because of the war crimes he’s committed, and it’s this that makes him bitter and angry and hard to love or talk to. Cassie’s kindness and insistence that he’s capable of goodness starts to break through his pain, though, and she battles the feelings she has for this man that can’t be acknowledged due to her betrothal - she’s been insistent for years that her childhood friend can’t be dead, and honoring their vows

Marco and Menderash help her realize who he is - they can’t talk directly about the curse, but she’s smart, and they’ve become good friends and good at getting around the magical limitations, so they help her

When she does realize this tiger is the same boy she was in love with, she vows to find a way to save him, and she stops fighting their growing attraction. Jake starts wrestling with the idea that he can make some sort of restitution and find his way back to being a good person again, and Marco and Menderash encourage him to stop fighting his feelings - after all, they’re stuck here too, thanks to him

Menderash realizes about the catch of the curse just in time, and Cassie realizes what has to be done. She confesses her love to Jake, and despite being frightened of the future and loathing himself he admits he loves her too, and the curse breaks with only seconds to spare

Rachel, in bear form, transformed thanks to some magic of her own, batters down a gate with Ax and Tobias behind her, only to find Cassie and Jake happily kissing while Marco and Menderash and the freed house spirits look on

they all live happily ever after BUT! sequel hook! the Night Emperor isn’t dead, after all, and in our final pages we discover that his lieutenant had been living among the humans for years, disguised as Marco’s supposedly-dead mother. they’re waiting, watching, and biding their time.

[lehouxnap2]

SNK characters as world of warcraft players

Eren - Fury Warrior (Human, worgen)

Has 2 mains, human and worgen. Eren thinks human is the superior race even though everyone knows is the most boring. He's the typical alliance player that rages at you. "You horde scum" Not so good at first. Gets better at playing with time. Always in war mode.

Mikasa - Arms Warrior (Human)

Top dps and she's really good at pvp. Overall a natural good player. Eren always asks her do to duels and she always kicks his ass. Not interested at anything, just wants to play with Eren. Does RBGs with him.

Armin - Frost Mage (Human, Female Draenei)

Big nerd that knows all the lore and is pretty much always raid leader, he's really nice when players don't know the mechanics. Always trying to do achievements. Too scared to do pvp. Does freaky shit in rp moonguard.

Jean - Guardian Druid (Worgen)

Every worgen player i've met was a little bit of a simp im sorry. But Jean is genuinely a good guy, he just wanted to get a girlfriend when he was younger then grew out of it when older. Started as a feral until he realized being tank helps to queue faster in dungeons. It's raid leader when Armin can't make it. Main tank

Marco - Holy Priest (Draenei)

Think of the nicest player that ever helped you, that's Marco. He helps new players when they don't understand or get lost. Big patient fella, if you need gold he's gonna help you in that too. Top healer in raid. Sometimes switches to Shadow. Does random bgs with Jean just to have fun (doesn't like it much because it can get toxic)

Sasha - Marksmanship Hunter (Pandaren)

She used to be those hunters who ruined your day by tanking with her pet getting everyone wiped. But learned how to properly play and now she's top dps. She met Jean when he was tanking with his bear and raged at her in the whispers. They are besties now <3 Loves doing cooking proffesion, that's how she met Niccolo.

Connie - Enhancement Shaman (Dwarf)

He think dwarves are a funny looking race that's why he chosed them. Average player who just wants to have fun. Regardless of what he's doing pvp of pve he never rages. As a shaman he let's the elemental pets do all the work and gets overconfident, the reason why he loses. Fools around a lot with Sasha

Reiner - Protection Warrior (Orc)

Used to be Worgen and be part of the same guild as the rest but changed to Horde because of race benefit (everyone does that nowadays) He only did it because his friends did, so he feels sad about it. His new guild is called Marley. Top and main tank of the raid. Still talks with his past guild but Eren is pissed at him for leaving the Alliance and always attacks him when he has the chance.

Bertholdt - Fire Mage (Troll)

He likes trolls because they are tall and chill, just like him. Same story with Reiner. Being a Fire mage pretty much makes him top dps and someone you don't want to fuck with. He could be one of the best pvp players but prefers to keep it low and have fun. Does R Arenas with Reiner.

Annie - Windwalker Monk (Blood elf)

Same story with Bert and Reiner. She's one of the best pvp players, and does R.Arenas. A lone player, when not doing pvp she works in her proffesions and enjoys the beauty of WoW. Her dad showed her the game when she was young. Reiner and Bert asks her to do stuff together but she rejects them. Likes the company of Armin or Bertholdt alone.

Historia - Discipline Priest (Voild elf, Vulpera)

She has 2 mains. Void elf to be with her guild, and Vulpera to be with Ymir. She's always nice and helping other players but most of the time she wants to do achievements with Ymir and do holiday events. Has the BEST transmogs of them all. And pretty mounts.

Ymir - Affliction Warlock (Nightborne)

Amazing pvp player, but not a big fan of it. Specially because it can get really annoying and childish. At first she carried Hisu in dungeons because she was a "noob" giving her advice on how to properly play. Ymir when really bored likes to troll others and sometimes camp them until Historia tells her is enough.

Levi - Assassination Rogue (Gnome)

Known as one of the best players in WoW. Big fanbase. Kenny, his uncle, teached him since he was a kid to play the game and ever since then he mastered it. He chosed Gnome as his main because even though gnomes are always the butt of the jokes he thinks getting your ass kicked by one is satisfying. Used to play with his two friends until they quit the game, then had his own guild and they also quit the game. So he feels nostalgic sometimes.

Hange - Beast Mastery Hunter (Night elf)

Geek. Knows all about lore but also is really good at being BM hunter. You just can't escape their traps ;). Big big fan of WoW, you are not sure how long have they been playing this game. Never misses Blizzcon events. They are always with Moblit who remindes them to take a break from the game and go have some rest. They have a lot of rare objects and mounts. Likes to hang around with Levi.

Erwin - Retribution Paladin (Human)

Do I even have to say something? He's a human paladin. Guild Master of Survey Corps, used to be really active when younger but as he got older doesn't appear much. He did a lot of pvp, one of the best. Was raid leader along with Mike and Nile. Just like Eren he believes in the Alliance and knows a lot about lore. Ask him anything.

Porco - Feral Druid (Zandalari troll)

He thinks zandalari are the coolest race blizz has ever thought of. He's an average good player. Played a lot with his brother Marcel. Until the later quit the game to focus on other stuff. Used to make fun of Reiner for being bad at it, but now they play mythics+ together.

Pieck - Guardian Druid (Tauren)

Average good player, she's calm and trust her teammates in raids even when things might not look so good. Second tank. Loves being a druid because she can carry her party members in deer and bird form. At some point she met Jean and exchanged tips

Zeke - Elemental Shaman (Pandaren)

He's that player that frustrated you so much you wanted to throw your computer at the floor because he wasn't doing the mechanics right or in bgs. And you know he's doing it on purpose. That troll motherfucker that ganks you even when hours passes and you wonder why people like him exist. Has a monkey pet named as "Monke" that he takes everywhere. Has macros where he says weird shit before you kill him. But he's actually a really good player when serious. Raid leader of his guild. If there's one player Zeke won't fuck with, is Levi.

Falco - Restoration Druid (Tauren)

He and Gabi are new players but learn fast, Falco likes to enjoy the game slowly appreciating the stories, characters, and overall have a good time with his friends. Ends up stressed healing Gabi's ass since she keeps tanking without a care. Tells her she should listen to Reiner's advice as a tank.

Gabi - Protection Warrior (Orc)

She saw the way Reiner played and wanted to be just like him. Gabi levels up really fast with war mode and dungeons. Problems comes she lacks experience so she needs Falco by her side healing her. Eren once saw her in war mode not giving a crap she was a low level and ganked her.

Floch - Unholy Death Knight (Human)

Level 58 DK. That dude that all he does is complain in the chat. In bgs he shits at everyone for not doing their job while he has low dps. In trade chat you are always gonna see him having a discussion about how the game is dead, everything sucks, back in the day "when classic was good". Always joins Eren's RBGs.

Im sorry this was so much fun to do. I didnt plan this

[aphrodite-would-be-proud]

I just read aot 139 and well spoilers undercut.

This was the highlight of it. That's the whole chapter go home people.

Now for real tho, am i crying? Yes. Am i smiling? Yes.

Did i hate the ending? Yes. Did i love the ending? Yes.

Is eren a dumbass? Yes. Was he an interesting protagonist? Yes.

Was the fact that Bertolt wasn't meant to die at that time made me almost scream because it means there's a lot of fix it fics potential? Yes. Does that mean Armin literally outsmarted the flow of time space itself?...wut

I'm still bitter about the 80% of the world being stomped to death like it's nothing, the war still continuing between the countries under the yeagerist movement instead of the logic that they are truly free now, wanting to fight for the sake of fighting because that's all they ever knew.

Am i mad about founder Ymir reduced to being in "love" ? Yes.

Am i happy that Mikasa was the key to ending that? Yes.

Did the fact that everyone start thirsting after Eren with a one-liner after his death remind me of a harem anime protagonist? Yep.

Did Mikasa going alone to bury him made me weep like a baby? Mhm.

Do i still hate Reiner's mom especially the "i need you by my side" shit? Yeah.

Do i think Annie's father wasn't attempting to protect her here, but to protect the people from her because he knows she will kick their ass if he won't hold her back? Yes.

Like look at those eyes and tell me they don't spell murder.

Am i creeped by Reiner sniffing Historia's letter like it's her undies? Absolutely. Am i happy we got at least one final jean horse joke? Yep.

Jean is simping for Mikasa again, i feel meh about that.

I think by far Annie and Armin had the most character development that actually stayed after the war, Armin is more confident and assertive, Annie is more social and open about her emotions.

Do i absolutely adore the fact that Historia despite not getting pregnant by her own want, she still was a much better and attentive mother than her mom ever was? And the fact that farmer is still involved in her life as the father? Yes.

Reiner i love you but cut it out- it will never happen just let it go buddy.

And finally, this is the absolute best fucking group Levi could've ended with. He just said fuck it and left on retirement. The adventures of Grandpa Levi and uncle onyankopon and two really oblivious kids pinning after each other.

I can't believe my babies grew omfg what are they now? 17-16 something?? :"( i can't please it's too much...i wish Zofia and Udo would've joined them

Do i think all these small happy endings were just isayama distracting us like like offering candy to kids? Yeah.

Too many things weren't resolved and the things that were resolved weren't done in a clear or satisfying way. Not to mention the burn of seeing all the characters that died almost for nothing when this was going to be the end result not matter what.

Erwin, Hange, Miche, Moblit, Marco, Sasha, Colt, Udo, Zofia, Porco, Bertolt, Zeke, Ymir, Hannes, Nile, Nanaba, Isabel, Furlan, Petra, Kenny.

But do i care? Fuck no, most of us care about the characters not the story itself. That's why this ending feels satisfying because we don't have an emotional attachment to eldians insisting on war but we do have an emotional attachment to grandpa Levi getting his tea shop.

In conclusion: poopoo bird Eren peepee

[chaoticevilbean]

Voltron HC’s for my Humans Are Weird Lance-Centric Story

Lance became immune to most poisons because he wanted to be like Westley in The Princess Bride

Lance has worn heels, dresses, makeup, extensions, etc, multiple times His sisters and brothers helped him learn the skills

Lance has learned how to fix engines, along with other basic/simple engineering skills, because of his brother Marco

Lance is an amazing chemist and knows how to make an impromptu bomb with sweat, a bobby pin and something made of glass, because of his sister-in-law Bella

Lance speaks practically every language to communicate with his friends Lance can cook and bake relatively well because he helped his mother and grandmothers cook

Lance may not be Pidge’s level, but he is a white hat hacker who made money after being hired by multiple governments to make sure they weren’t vulnerable because his brother-in-law Theo dared he couldn’t

Lance knows how macgyver basically anything because of the many things he had happen with his cousins and siblings

Lance can use bows, throwing knives, darts, blowguns, and guns really well, as well as a sling and has a throwing arm of incredibly accuracy because of his father encouraging it (and a boomerang to honor his favorite character Sokka)

Lance knows juego de mani and limalama because Veronica told him to learn to protect himself without weapons and he wanted to make her proud

Lance can sew, knit, crochet, etc, because he wanted to help his mother and grandmothers and sisters

Lance is a disguise pro because of his sisters

Lance is amazing at acting and lie detecting because of his younger relatives and siblings

Lance can dance in practically every way, revealed through pole dancing and aerial silks, and Lance is so flexible Hunk insists he has no bones, all because he played Twister and limbo and refused to lose - and then took gymnastics and dancing classes when his aunt found out and paid

Lance has multiple service animals because his mind doesn’t work like others and he has various needs - each animal does something different

He had a boa constrictor for his anxiety, a parrot to tell him when he accidentally switched languages, a goose to make sure no one hurt his feelings (accidental or purposeful), and a small snake that they couldn’t identify that helps him focus

Therefore, Lance handles all animals extremely well and they automatically love him - several times, he comes back to the Castle with new animals that they can’t get rid of and have to take along

Lance has run and won three marathons so his older brother Phillipe would be motivated to exercise

Lance can swim, climb, and jump better than most people, including Pidge, Hunk, and Keith. He can only swim and jump better than Shiro - they’re matched for climbing, unless they’re in trees, in which Lance wins, because of siblings and relatives

Lance can eat Carolina Reapers without crying because of bets

Lance can sing and knows many styles, including opera - his voice is incredibly strong, and he is told to not sing opera unless there is something protecting other species from the volume - his family would sing together and he took lessons after his uncle started crying at his ‘angelic voice’

Lance is the best diplomat because he understands people and how to get them to loosen up and have fun, which causes them to accept his ‘pack-bonding’ and want to be his ally/friend - because everyone back home was family

Lance can storytell with the best of them because of his grandparents telling their own stories and him mimicking them as he told them about his day

Lance once broke his leg, sprained his wrist, dislocated his shoulder, and scraped himself up really badly because he fell down a steep hill on an island - a few friendly sharks and dolphins came together to help him make it back to home (Hunk’s home because he was visiting)

Caffeine does nothing to Lance - he can consume a gallon of pure espresso without dying or so much as twitching, and he won’t be affected at all. He cannot be addicted, and it’s because his uncle would give him coffee and soda as a little baby when his parents weren’t looking, but he came over semi-irregularly due to travel

Lance cannot get hungover and it takes a whole lot of alcohol to make him drunk. He’s gone to several open clubs, and gotten many drinks bought for him both normally and in a dress and heels - his family had competitions often and he participated from fifteen onwards and somehow was again immune for the most part

Lance can eat a whole pineapple on his own (it was a dare that he worked up to) Lance can whisper at many different volumes and in many ways. He can also throw off his voice. Hide-and-seek tag was fun, especially in the dark where you could freak out whoever was it

Lance can flip knives and screwdrivers and such. He can also throw simple objects with deadly accuracy (pencils) because his brother came out as gay and was bullied, so he learned to flip knives and transferred that to school items, which then transferred to bullies finding their backpacks pinned by a colored pencil that was thrown nearly hitting their necks.

Lance can make a fire easily due to bonfires on the beach. He has no fear for it, and knows minor blacksmithing because him and Veronica liked to make things out of stuff they found on the shore.

Lance has cute hiccups and sneezes, like a little kitten, but only Hunk knows. Whenever someone sneezes or hiccups, Hunk gives Lance a look, waiting for the moment when the cuteness comes. It hasn’t… yet

Lance can do a million what if’s and figure out deep theories for each because his family got bored easily

Lance can mimic practically anything due to a combo of games with siblings and survival skills - and learning to screech in his sister’s ear

Lance can make up a million different swears because they weren’t allowed to cuss around the younger kids. He knows how to come up with the so fast that Pidge wonders if it’s another language for him

Lance is the most protective - Hunk is the only one who’s truly seen what he looks like in a rage (the Galra see - and their ship goes down before they can tell anyone - thank you Black Lion) - Lance will never lose someone in a crowd, and no one can kidnap someone around him - he spent years herding kids in crowded areas and saving them from creeps. He will never lose someone.

Lance is so empathic that he befriends several Galra teams and those eventually join the Blades - he watched his younger relatives fall down and had to kiss lots of boo-boos

He had so many female relatives, Lance knows how to handle periods better than some girls

Lance goes calm when scared - he had to handle whatever danger there was before it could hurt or affect his family - he supercalculates and becomes a supersoldier/assassin

Lance has the best intuition and every human learns this - he knows when something is low quality, when something or someone cannot be trusted, when something is wrong, etc. - Hunk vouches the first time when it’s just humans, and the second time (outside of a battle or something), the Alteans are forced to listen when the four other humans insist Lance should be trusted - it helped him avoid danger

Lance handles stress so well, he barely feels it. His adrenaline is completely on beck and call. He never told anyone but his family because no one else he knows of has achieved a mental switch to the adrenaline rush. He can use hysterical strength on command, but he’s only done it once before. He just goes as calm as when scared if he gets too stressed or if everyone else is too stressed

Lance is the best at grooming - thank you sisters

Hunk and Lance have tattoos and pierced ears (Hunk has a large traditional tattoo on his back); Lance has several tattoos on his center back (flowers and skulls and leaves) with some spreading outwards (vines with more flowers and stuff growing out) and has band tattoos on his shins and biceps; Lance has many piercings in his ears that no one notices unless he’s wearing earrings - his siblings took him to get the tattoos and piercings, and his mother took him to get the first piercings and his father the first tattoo (a small flower on his shoulder blade)

Lance is best at child games like tag and hidenseek because of his family Sometimes, Lance speaks in such complex slang and metaphors that even Hunk barely understands him because he and his siblings and cousins wanted to speak to each other (gossip) without eavesdroppers

Lance cannot control his curiosity well because he had to explore things for and with his family and knew he could handle the situations if they went wrong

Lance loves cute things because of pets and nieces and nephews

Lance learned to talk backwards and can go silent for a long time without losing his voice because of dares

Lance has a high pain tolerance even if he hasn’t been hurt in a long time and it’s helped him (sharks and dolphin incident, saving Coran, just contributing to fight and help his family and friends even in pain) - however, he will likely be extremely dreamy when that happens

ONE DAY: Pidge makes a teleporter and manages to get a friend back on Earth to set up another. She also gets communications up. 

Shiro talks with Adam (this is Adashi and Alluratt), and gets sent some official medals to show he’s a General because of all he’s done and been through. 

Hunk’s mothers and sisters send him homegrown ingredients and some better tools. 

Pidge’s mother spends half the time telling Sam, Matt, and Pidge off for leaving and the other half asking if they’re okay and then sends them each a care package. 

Keith also talks with Adam and gets sent a knife “to remind you of home”. 

Lance’s family takes an hour just introducing themselves to Keith (who Lance insists stays with since he said he didn’t have family - “you can share mine then”) and then spends a good many more telling about what happened; they send over a bunch of shoes and clothes and sewing/knitting supplies and chemistry supplies and etc so he won’t get bored and then Veronica asks him if he can ask Pidge if the teleporter can do it with living things. 

She says it can, but don’t have anyone come because of the danger - Veronica sends Lance’s service animals and they all missed him so much and instantly like the team. 

Maverick is the goose (*tell dad that joke with a straight face*)

Princey is the boa constrictor

Alexander is the parrot 

Cleopatra is the unidentifiable snake

Maverick tries to peck Keith whenever he makes a rude comment on accident, so Keith starts learning what’s hurtful and how to rephrase his thoughts so they’re not as hurtful but still honest.

Princey loves Hunk and tries to hug everyone.

Alex imitates Coran’s voice and uses that from then on unless Coran is around then he’ll bark like a dog once to alert Lance that it’s the real deal - Alex knows that helping Lance is important and Coran helps Lance so using Coran’s voice helps a lot. 

Pidge wants to know what Cleo is, but Cleo doesn’t leave Lance’s side unless necessary because he ‘disappeared’ for the animals.

The other collected animal assortment learn how to help Lance from his service animals and soon he almost always (except battle) has at least three other creatures besides his service ones following him and helping.

Lance took drama class and was in the play put on by the class, but worked backstage as stage manager (was on the floor and used his intuition for lights and sound and stuff)

For the drama club play - he was the lead almost every time no matter how many times he suggested someone else might be better.The one time he wasn’t, he was the love interest (he was Mais Merian instead of Robin Hood)

He always got special recognition when backstage and that time as the interest despite him nominating literally everyone else

Lance has met Mothman - that’s all he tells Keith and co, but he used to get together every Saturday night for stargazing with Mothman and a lovely sasquatch, and they kept in touch when he left for the Garrison; Veronica helped them and let the cryptids know that Lance was okay after communicating with the Paladins.

Mothman was named Emilio by Lance and nicknamed Em. The sasquatch was named Alli.

Lance has been “adopted” by packs of wild animals several times and not always packs. He once was pushed by a bully over the edge of the crocodile enclosure at a zoo (bully just pushed, didn’t mean to make him go over) on a school field trip when he was twelve. They couldn’t get the crocs to give him back til his abuelita came over with a chancla and scolded them until they gave the boy back. 

He was allowed back into the zoo for free so long as he helped when the animals were cranky or needing shots because they were always calm around him. 

He befriended every animal. 

Rosa the gorilla was a lovely little lady who would sing with him and she would start singing the moment she heard/saw him. They had a special song just for the two of them to sing. 

Lance went viral, but not many recognize the twelve year old as him, especially because people stopped posting when it became clear he wasn’t going to stop and they got used to it. 

Keith remembers the hippo video and wishes he could’ve joined that boy. When it is eventually revealed that Lance is the Animal Tamer, he promises to get Keith his own hippo (his uncle bought the zoo when it started to close down a few years back -same people work there, just different ownership. Lance knows his uncle won’t mind) 

Keith is ecstatic and refuses to believe Lance is lying, and Shiro and Pidge worry and are shocked. Hunk knew.

Lance learned to hang upside down like a bat for long periods of time because his family had a huge vacation house with rafters but the house got crowded since everyone would come and Lance would stay in the rafters with Veronica to provide more room and both became known as the Bat Twins. 

Lance uses this to scare the Blades by telling Keith to tell Kolivan about vampires and then hanging from the vents and hissing at people while wearing black and dark red and a cape that he made. 

He also has fake fangs and red contacts so no one recognized him but the humans and now everyone is on the lookout for the vampire in the vents. 

Keith and Shiro never leave the team or disappear. The Blades approach the Paladins seeking an alliance.

Hunk and Lance were pen pals at three because of Lance’s aunt who knows one of Hunk’s moms, and they met at five when the aunt brought him back. 

He went every year for both short and long trips, and the island Hunk lived on accepted Lance into the community, so now he has traditional tattoos on his lower back and across his shoulders that meld with his previous tattoos easily. 

He got the lower back one when he was thirteen and the shoulders when he was fourteen. The bands are a combo of Cuban and Samoan culture in their styling.

Lance had worked on some of his relatives’ farm after school since he was seven. He knows how to milk a cow, herd flocks, lasso (probably lassos a thief at some point), hogtie, farm (plants), make animal calls and whistles, get chickens to obey, ride a horse and a bull, use a scythe like a pro (and terrify Pidge and Shiro on their makeshift Halloween while Keith attempts to figure out how a cryptid, a quiznacking GRIM REAPER, got aboard. Hunk just stands back to watch the chaos), bargain/barter like a pro, withstand extremely strong winds and other storm conditions without falling over (he can walk, make himself heard, and even run and jump and climb like normal), tell when something is sick or ready to be harvested/milked, tend to many animals, speak in farmer slang, and has memorized the planting requirements for many crops.

Lance can stand off in a growl/roaring match (baring teeth and trying to seem bigger) against bears, Alli the sasquatch, wolves, and several Galra soldiers. He came across many Earth predators and knew that his logical mind could overcome his primal instincts that would make him give in to a wild animal. 

Therefore, whenever Lance and co happened on one and needed to scare it off, he would do so by not giving in in the slightest, which eventually broke the other, especially since it was always obvious he was protecting his family. 

If it was two ‘mamas’ (Lance is ‘mama’), then both seemed to feel it and would stand down and head their separate ways.

The Galra found out when Lance stood off against a commander in a ground base and got the enemy to give in. Once the commander was submissive, the others gave in and the base was converted (secretly) to the Blades.

After all, Lance didn’t try to hurt them, simply continued on his way. And he was heard getting the others to not destroy the base because “these soldiers aren’t with the Empire. At least, not because they want to be. They’re with the Empire because it’s all they know. Let’s leave them be now.”

The Blades found out as a whole when a Blade tried to tell Keith off of going on a small reconnaissance mission because he was too small.

Lance came to the defense, and unbeknownst to the Paladins, Lance was then on known as the Caretaker of the group, a type of alpha that doesn’t lead, but is very protective of their pack and is willing to do whatever necessary to protect them. Shiro is the alpha, but even he will give in to the Caretaker if faced off with the alpha side of it.

Lance then finds himself taking less fire during battle, which helped him focus better on protecting his team, because the word got out and the Galra don’t attack Caretakers or kits because they’re the most important. Together they are the future.

Lance is both a kit and a Caretaker, attempting to protect his fellow kits, and that means that they are very hesitant to attack. They have to rethink strategies to avoid lethal offenses due to Lance’s willingness to take the hits and the fact that they are all kits.

There is one adult in their group and it’s a crazy middle-aged Altean.

Kolivan sees the Caretaker up close and personal when he ‘loses’ Keith. Before Lance can do more than growl and prepare to shout and cuss out the Blade for losing his teammate, Keith comes busting out of the vents spouting off about how he was training and then he was asked to go find the vampire and even though he knows the truth it was too good an opportunity, and then he thinks the Blades lost track of him and then he heard the Paladins boarding and it wasn’t Kolivan’s fault, it was an accident.

Lance immediately backs off and tells Keith to use the Castle’s training room. He seriously just got back from the reconnaissance mission, take a break.

Lance can handle many different temperatures because of the weather back home and his siblings often taking him out camping.

Back home, everyone was family to Lance. On Hunk’s island home, everyone around them was family or friends.

Lance and Hunk can walk, talk, sing, dance, and overall move in unison to the point where they seem telepathic. They can do so for a long time.

Their record is three days, where they woke up and went to sleep at the same time and helped each other make food and overall astounded their fellow Garrison cadets. Pidge was there and can vouch that it was terrifying.

Lance will always rescue someone in need. It gains them many allies from Galra, Empire supporters who only support it because it’s all they know, pirates, fauna, some flora, a few allies who were going to discuss the alliance until Lance helped a kid up or saved an animal without any incentive. They all saw a caring nature in a vicious predator and decided that was the perfect ally.

Lance celebrates Hanukkah, Christmas, Días Des Les Muertos (check spelling), a bunch of other holidays and a lot of birthdays because of his large family. He keeps it up in space by either putting up decorations in a few rooms (sometimes rooms that no one visits so they won’t be taken down) or going around saying something like “Happy Marco’s birthday!”

Lance has an incredible sense of smell because of diapers, cooking, identifying nature and other things so he can tell what is in something rather easily and can even track down stronger smelling things with relative ease.

Lance is the flower crown making champ and can make all sorts of styles since his nieces and nephews always wanted them

Lance and Hunk have the worst dark humor and it’s a major surprise, but it comes from being exposed to other people a lot and Lance had social media.

His Instagram is of animals and nature, his Twitter is of weather and the beach and more nature, his Facebook is his crafts and art and occasionally some songs (just audio clips and you can’t really identify him with his voice, he even did opera once), Reddit has theories and he’s incredibly respected for his ideas and theories especially because it’s just for fun and he says that, Tumblr is random stuff and everyone loves him (both the fandoms and the hipsters).

None of his accounts have his face or information, so he’s completely anonymous. Hunk learned from Lance.

Lance has wonderful rhythm because he had to get thirty kids to sing Cotton Eye Joe and do the dances at the same time

Lance never took ice skating lessons but is really good and has had several people offer to teach him or ask him to join an event/team

[popculturebuffet]

Star Vs: Stump Day Review or The Why Are You Booing Tom He’s Right Holiday Special

Before we start a special credit to @jess-the-vampire​ who I discussed the episode with during the writing process and brought up a LOT of good points that ended up going into this review. She clearly hates it as much as I do and had even more good reasons for it.  Happy Hanukah, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everybody! And today we got a big, fat, grotesque lump of coal to smash to pieces. And after a long, draining, if worth the effort scrooge review, and with this being something I needed to cross off my to do list this holiday season, I put this one here as I could use the cathariss of giving this steaming bowl of elephant piss a good thrashing. As you can tell unlike my usual reviews, I do not like this episode. This isn’t the FIRST i’ve not liked i’ve covered, but it is the first rather infamous one to me i’ve covered and not just a dead possum of an episode I ran into while reguarly covering an otherwise good show like “Quaraller’s Pass” or “Strife of the Party”. This one’s had it coming, making my top 8 worst christmas specials list last year, and while not the series worst outing, that’s a toss up between the finale and marco jr, it’s easily one of them. So while usually I like diving deeply into something good and picking apart while it’s good, if not ignoring any bad aspects, here i’m just going to take a hammer to this thing to explain why it dosen’t work and why it sucks dirty ass in thunderstorms. I might be overstating it a bit but probably not.  Nothing really new has happened since the last episode so the only new thing to cover is why i’m doing the episode here instead of after Monster Bash. And the simple reason is that like the Ducktales Halloween and Christmas specials, this episode clearly does not take place in the same time frame of the episode before or after it, with the next episode, The Bog Beast of Bogabah, taking place the day after Monster Bash. It’s most likely they simply held this episode over till Christmas and it dosen’t really fit in AFTER the huge game changer that is monster bash, especailly since the next three episodes after this all take place in rapid sucession, two on the same day one the day after them. So yeah i’m doing this one first and putting it ahead of monster bash on my episode guide for clarity’s sake. 

Good, so with all that settled, let’s unwrap this complete works of pauly shore shall we? We open on the titular Stump Day, essentially mewni’s christmas complete with Cocoa, carols and a gay couple and their equally adorable child. And Star, unsuprisingly is giddy for it as the actual chlidren, and wearing an adorable santaesque dress complete with horns on her santa hat. Seriously you cannot tell me tom didn’t get that for her. Fucking precious. Marco is more just confused and has his hood up and one of Star’s cousins asks uncle river to tell him the origin of stump day. River’s response.. is easily the best joke of the episode. 

“(in a jolly tone) ha ha, you don’t tell me what to do”

He does so anyway though: Basically when settlers arrived on Mewni they found themselves cold and griping with each other, and soon found a blizzard had struck.. but by huddling together under a magic stump, they all learned to get along or something like that and now once a year everyone gathers in warmth and camraderie.. or else. Before Marco can understandably question what “or else” means in this context, Star butts in when one of her cousins chastises the younger one who asked river the question for beliviing and says he’s real. It’s a nice touch as it fits star perfectly to still belivie in mewni’s horrifying version of santa. I forgot just how adorable and likeable the character was before the final season shot that to hell. How her energy could be infectious and how Eden Sher really brought her all to the performance, which is still the performance of her career and hopefully like Rider Strong she’ll do more voice acting eventually.  So that night as Star tucks in after wonderful  night of sleep, and to avoid her dad’s usual drunken chorus of Tom Jones “Sex Bomb”, and gets woken up by Marco who leads her to the dining hall because a windows broken to fix it with magic. Star entirely buys this flimsy story.. but as Jess pointed out, and as I missed hence the credit up top... she dosen’t bring her wand. She.. dosen’t bring her wand.. to go fix something with magic. Now i’ll grant next season shows she CAN fully do magic without it, and while not as powerful like her mom still has plenty of punch behind it.. especially when she does the rainbow fist thing. But it’s still.. weird she dosen’t think to grab it and feels out of character. While Star’s learned by this point not to rely on it, and as we’ll see gives it up entirely, one of the few bits of her character development that actually sticks, it still seems resonable she’d take it with her wherever she goes.. and usually SHE DOES. And her jammies, which are also adorable, seem to have pockets so the animators had no reason to not just stuff it in one. It would’ve made their job harder yes.. but then don’t have marco use an excuse that directly requires it then and draws attention to the fact the wand is missing, and the fact you blatantly just hoped we’d forget about it as it’d ruin the climax. 

It’s far from the worst thing in this episode..trust me we’re almost there. But this does bring me to a point.. so far the episode is GOOD. The comedy’s good, the setup for what’s about to happen is good, the holdiay setting is warm and inviting but weird enough to perfectly fit mewni, and River, much like his VA and homosexual talking boat portrayer Alan Tudyuk, is a national treasure as always. Whelp it’s all down hill from here bitches! Giddyup. 

So Marco announces a SUPRISE PARTY! And everyone’s there: Tom, Kelly, Ponyhead, Starfan14... oh yeah this is the first ep i’ve coverd with Starfan14 isn’t it? Starfan14 is star’s insane fangirl, voiced by series creator Derfron Nercy herself, who star happily tolerates despite clearly wanting to wear her skin. We’ve all been there. Also Jackie is transparently missing, though at least it’s SOMEWHAT reasonable as she and marco broke up a few .. months ago? I mean it is winter on mewni for this episode but the end of season 4 and the series is set at the start of summer, yet months still pass..... 

Confusing timeline aside, Jackie has every reason not to attend a party thrown by her ex for the girl who confesed she had feelings for said ex and it’s probably the only good decision Marco makes this entire episode that he wisely decided to give Jackie some space. And it says something a decision made entirely off screen that was probably because the creators genuinely forgot Jackie once she was out of the way so they could shift the love triangle stuff to Tom, Star and Marco instead of you know.. not doing that because most love triangles are annoying at best and utterly insufferable at worst. Case in point this episode but I can give out more about this aspect of things in a bit with more context. 

And to his credit, and as Jess backed me up on, Marco’s gesture is genuinely throughtful.. at least to start with. He got her a choclate fountain, brought all of her friends, and geninely just thought Star never celebrated her birthday on her birthday because it was you know the same day as christmas. As someone whose birthday is a week before christmas, December 16th if you were curious, I understand the pain of having your birthday in the same month as christmas. Of having all your presents clustered at once and of having to manuver around a very stressful season, though it does sometimes have perks like getting to celebrate your birthday and christmas, it also means your birthday is secondary and always will be to most people due to proximity. And Star has hers ON mewman christmas, so it’s even worse. So from Marco’s perspective, TO START, his best friend constantly had to share her birthday with her faviorite holiday and just wanted to do something nice. SO FAR, he’s done nothing wrong and just means well. That’s... about to end.  Star.. instead of being greatful.. starts muttering no before going on an manic rampage and destroying everything including hte band’s insturments. And apparnetly star’s gotten some flack for her behavior.. but I understand it. To her the stump is VERY real, and will be very angry if someone else celebrates so to her all she’s doing is saving her best friend from the holiday equilvent of the trees from evil dead, and when Marco asks about it she GENUINELY is sorry, getting he meant well, that he was being sweet, and that he did a lot of nice stuff for her.. she just can’t celebrate not because she loves the holiday but because again, from her persepctive, the stump will kill them all if they don’t support it. She is genuinly affraid for her friends lives and given she could go grab her wand and fight it, clearly thinks she, with all her CONSIDERABLE powers, cannot win this, and neither can tom whose powers are almost entirely fire based. Star is just trying to protect her friends from being horribly murdered. And she turns out to be entirely right about it so no, star was not a jerk here. A bit over the top, but she was not insensitive, she was not mean, she just didn’t want a party for understandable reasons.

So let’s get to actually insensitive shall we?! Marco’s reaction to this is at first confusion as he didn’t realize the stump was real, though Tom, Kelly and Pony are convinced it’s not. Also this episode implies Kelly is from mewni, but she turns out not to be so why she knows about the stump I genuinely don’t know. They think it’s just a baby thing.. though in Tom’s defense he dosen’t phrase it that way, thinks star still beliving is cute, which for a teenage boy finding out his girlfriend belivies in santa is very sweet and mature of him, and is trying to be nice about it even if he doesn’t believe.  But Marco.. his response to his friend having a good reason for not wanting to have the party.. is to complain about how much effort he put into it and try to guilt and bribe her into having it by mentoining he got her faviorite cake flavor, rainbow. Just.. WOW. I’ve seen some bad turns from characters, but WOWWWWWW. Holy shit.. I mean at least other jerkass marco episodes before this had SOME reasoning to them. Sophmore Slump had him clearly sublimating his feelings for star combined with the usual obnoxiousness of someone having gone abroard for the first time, which as Letterkenny recently went into, the only thing worse is Stillborn Puppies. Nothing else. 

And with Lint Catcher while he was presumptive and not blameless.. river still outright lied to him. Here? It’s clear star dosen’t want this, cake can be refigirated, he only takes a loss on the choclate fountain and he could still just let everyone have some and say it’s for stump day to appease her. He dosen’t have to take a loss on this finacially or morally and there would be no harm done. But that’s.. not what HE wanted, not waht HE set up and he wants what HE wanted, which was to impress star with a thoughtful gesture. But that’s the thing bud: Gestures aren’t about you or what you get. Their about doint something nice for another fucking person. It’s the whole point of christmas and birthdays: To just give someone something to be ncie and to celebrate the day and them respectively. If she dosen’t WANT your gift for understandable reasons and isn’t being rude about it you don’t have any leg to stand on you seflish twatwaffle. 

So already Marco is not coming off well.. and if you know this episode you know it gets worse. Oh god it gets worse. So first PONYHEAD of all people calls out Marco.. and for once, PONYHEAD, the most selfish, most unresonable and a character whose tolerablity varies on the episode, tells him he’s being selfish and is only pressing on because of his need to control things. So not only is Ponyhead right but the episode LIKELY wants you to feel she’s wrong because she’s pony which is not how this work as she knows star well and thus, while unaware she still belivied in the stump, which tracks as while it’s obvious she does Pony is so up her own whatever she has that functions as an ass, it’s understandable she’d miss some details. So no Pony’s right, and the fact PONY is one of the more resonable people in this episode is both a sign of the apocalypse, which is thankfully starting to recede, and a clear marker of just how bad Marco’s being if someone who torments him and disagrees with him out of principal is entirely right. 

Oh but it gets worse as next up, Tom steps in and tries to get Marco to back out, admitting he told him this was a bad idea. Now granted Tom did mess up by not stepping in to stop this a bit.. but he A) didn’t know how much his girlfriend genuinely belivied in the stump and B) Probably assumed Marco meant well, as would I before he whined about not getting his way, and decided it was worth a try. So he’s not that bad, and while it is a bit ehhh to try and take back credit for this when he participated, it’s still minor and Marco is still being a huge dick who refuses to help shut things down when it’s clear the party is only causing star to have a panic attack and assault some humble marachi players. He sees nothing good is coming from this and just wants what star wants. Also it paints Marco in a worse light as he was warned about this, and was so obssed with making it a suprise party because that’s how his plan went, he refused to just.. talk to her about it. Hell he could’ve just casually asked “Why do you never celebrate your birthday on your birthday”. It’s an easy question, dosen’t give the game away and allows him to gage if this is a good idea or not BEFORE baking a cake , hiring a band and getting a chocolate fountain. Instead he just went ahead with it.  And he did so.. because this ISN’T about making Star happy. This is abotu HIM making star happy. Him showing her how thoughtful, and considerate and sweet he is and how he’s always been there for her and how maybe she should be with him instead of Tom. I mean it just comes off that way.. he made it a suprise party because in his head that’s how it worked and she was super impresed and left tom that day to be with him in some elaborate fantasy. Granted the episode dosen’t say this.. but it sure as hell acccidently implies hte hell out of it by having marco act like a selfish ass who refuses to take what STAR wants into consideration, and just wants to get his fantasy back on track. What supports this to me is how he treats tom, you know one of his best friends: He, again, accuses him of forgetting.. then calls him a bad boyfriend.. a bad boyfriend for NOT wanting to force a celebration on his girlfriend she does not want, and for not forcing it on her. For you know GROWING AS A PERSON.  Beacuse here’s the pickle pumpernickle: This thing Marco’s doing? Is exactly the kind of thing a pre-character development TOM did, that was rightfully framed as bad. Being controlling, wanting things to go JUST a certain way instead of letting them flow naturally, not getting the hint star isn’t intrested, and not caring about what she wants and only what you want. Marco is doing the same thing Tom used to do. And for starters i’ts already bad because you know MARCO WAS THE ONE WHO FINALLY GOT IT THROUGH TO TOM THAT THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR WAS TOXIC AND SELFISH. But apparently when it’s Marco himself doing it it’s fine. If there was ever any clear evidence Marco regressed as a character, there it is.  Him actively unelarning a lesson he taught someone else and then getting combative when that person rightly tries to call him out. Marco is just insufferable in this episode: He’s being selfish, creepy and posseive and he’s apparenlty supposed to, at least on some level BE RIGHT.  But.. we will get to that. Consider a pin put in this rant. 

So Tom overreacts, and throws some fire at marco, which is genuinely wrong and Kelly’s right to call him out, and then headlocks him asking marco to say he’s a good boyfriend. Marco screams out ‘NEVVVEEEERRRR”

I just made this, by hapinstance, while watching the video I put up there. I.. I did not think i’d get to use this so soon but my god. Just my god that’s a terrible thing to say.  So the party soon breaks down elsewhere as Kelly is mad at tom for.. understandable reasons again the guy she has a crush on was just nearly set on fire, even if i’m still on Tom’s side overall here, it’s still not right. Janna points out it’s probably because she has a crush on marco, which while acurate dosen’t mean she was wrong and Tad pops out to be upset about that. Even though you know you two are broken up and as Kelly points out he needs to move out. Pony is mad she’s not getting any attention and Starfan is mad because star’s mad. Star results to desperate measures, opening the windows to try and repeate the act of the settlers.  She didn’t however count on the Janna factor as she throws the stump in the fire, which is in chracter. What’s not, and again I give Jess full credit for this one, is that everyone just starts.. warming around the stump and not caring like a bunch of jackasses not caring about their close friend, and in tom’s case, girlfriend’s feelings. Also tom and marco apparently stopped fighting just to be this stupid. 

But naturally burning the symbolic stump is a bad idea and the real one attacks. Protip: If you live in a world of magical nonsense, maybe don’t discount the magic stump. Everyone’s captured, including moon and river, with River also being suprised and replying to Star’s annoyance at him not beliving with “Sweetie it’s a stump!”. Alan Tudyk is a god and I feel you all should acknowleddge that. But yeah everything seemsm to be bad but everyone apologizes, if not for the right things in Marco’s case, and Tom says “I’m sorry i’m a bad boyfriend!”. You .. you aren’t. You did nothing wrong. I feel like this is tom for the last agrivating 6 minutes of the episode

He did SOME THINGS wrong but he is NOT a bad boyfriend. He is throughtful, kind and while he has flaws, SO DOES STAR. He is not a bad boyfriend for not wanting to repeat past abusive actions! GAH. Let’s just get on with it. They all hold hands, they thiunk this is what made the stump go away but Star is sure it was just going to kill them, Moon and River have a thousand yard stare as they realize they both have to get repairs for this room now and do an extra big stump day next year to make sure it dosen’t come back. And Marco apologizes to star.. for not beliving her. Not for forcing this on her, not for causing all of this, not at all to tom, but for not beliving her while star FUCKING APOLOGIZES TO HIM.  Pin removed, bullshit falling to the floor... Trunks if you would. 

Thank you. Star DID NOTHING WRONG. Tom DID LESS WRONG THAN MARCO. WHY ARE THEY APOLOGIZING. Why is this little shithead getting everything he wants as the party happens after all, if a day later, and he gets to dance with star, while everyone else is painted as being in the wrong? That’s what makes this special so putrid: that MARCO is apparently in the right for doing the same , if on a smaller scale, manipulative shit tom used to do before he grew as a person, yet the episode sides with him, props him up and teases Starco. If it’s Starco it’s okay apparently and that’s.. not okay. You can’t .. build a ship on a character acting like a jackass. That’s not how this works. Marco was wrong, he was bad and he should FEEL bad. Instead he’s just a creepy jerk this entire episode, being entitled, manipulating star, screaming at tom.. and gets REWARDED FOR IT. Fuck this episode. 

FINAL THOUGHTS: I believe I said Fuck this episode.  This is easily one of star vs’ worst episode and much like the season after this episode it gets worse the more you think about it. I put it on my worst holiday episodes list for a reason.. and frankly even with the decent first 4 mintues it should be higher. It’s an unplesant mess that throughly ruins Marco’s character and takes him from a kind, upstanding, polite and bright young man to a creepy manpiulative jackasss. Fuck this episode and have a happy holidays.