#Um. I think is a crisis

[cupcakesmoothie]

[tippenfunkaport]

That viral post that's going around about how people who write "book quality" mlm fic are too "normal" to publish and have real jobs so only "weird" people publish their "shitty" fanfic is so completely out of touch with reality and I am giving a massive side eye to everyone reblogging it.

Not only is it completely, easily verifiably untrue (you cannot enter any professional writing space without tripping over a dozen grizzled scifi writers who got their start by filing off the serial numbers and publishing their Star Trek fanfic even going back decades ago??? it's a whole thing?? plus how can you look at the mlm category on Amazon right now and say with a straight face that people aren't publishing shitty Spirk and Stucky fanfic??? Oh, honey...) it's also the perfect example of this kind of sneering elitism that true artists would never sully themselves by seeking profit, they do it only for the purity of the thing that always somehow leads back to, "no one should be paid to make art, actually."

The only reason you're seeing more published fanfic right now has nothing to do with the idealistic purity of your hypothetical government employee written smut of the past vs the debased scribbles of those awful straights of today and everything to do with the fact that a) self-publishing has created a voracious readership that wants a ton of content so it's become a viable, flexible income stream for many, especially disabled people b) anyone can publish now with self-publishing tools so there are less gatekeepers and c) lockdown got a lot of people into fandom and therefore writing who never tried it before.

And if you really think there's no "shitty" published mlm and no "book-quality" m/f writing out there that started as fanfic, then you are clearly not a reader so why are you even talking about this?

[heroesriseandfall]

Teen Titans/Outsiders Secret Files (2003) — Roy leaving voicemails for Dick after Donna Troy’s death

Identity Crisis (2004) #7 — Dick leaving voicemails for Tim after Jack Drake’s death

[menlove]

I just think that if more ppl hadn't given up after amy and rory left the show we could've had more people being horny over peter capaldi and michelle gomez like yes yes david tennant and billie piper hot bisexual crisis etc but you're telling me you don't want to see the milf and dilf of the entire show prance around being hot? they make out. come on.

[paintpanic]

Malevolent gods

Are better than none

[redyrmes]

something i did for bird app

[mango-mya]

Yes that's Shakespeare please leave me alone

[kazumahashimoto]

ooo girl you're gonna be receiving one of his famous lectures after this one

[catboyidia]

well… out of rufus and the turks we definitely know who squares favorites are… because tseng and rude look fine! and surprisingly cute!

… and then there’s reno and rufus… what did they ever do to square enix?! what’s their grudge against these two 😭 renos isn’t THAT bad but… rufus… rufus my love… what did they do to you… they massacred my boy

[blue-rose-soul]

Hi, I am here to say I love your Devil’s Bastard au. It’s so fun to read and funny to see those two fumble around their relationship.

Here an idea branch for the AU: What if Alastor was born later? Like wayyy later, during Lilith 7 year absence. Lucifer will feel super depressed at that time and try to cheer himself up by going up to earth. There was a Marci Gras where he met Alastor’s mother and well you know the rest.

Alastor was born and is around two years old when he and his mother were caught in a major car accident that killed them both. His mother is in heaven but because he his Lucifer son, he ended up in hell even though he is a 2 year old toddler.

Luckily for him, he end up in front of The Happy Hotel right after Charlie’s pilot interview. Charlie heard a noise outside and found this tiny little toddler at her doorstep and immediately took him in without knowing him being her half brother.

There will be a lot of crapfest when the truth is revealed, but for know let’s enjoy a wacky adventure with a baby on the side

Charlie with this random two year old that showed up on her doorstep:

This sounds like an AU with a lot of comedic potential, but it would also pretty drastically change things up in Hell. Alastor took down a lot of Overlords when he arrived in Hell and, it's implied, helped others rise to power. Would Husk still be an Overlord or would he have fallen to someone else? Would Vox have been able to reach Overlord status without his friendship with Alastor? Would Valentino and Velvette have become Overlords without Vox? How would the Overlords Alastor had taken out be running things? Where is Niffty!?

But Charlie's not worried about that, she's more occupied with the shadow tentacles ripping apart her parlor while the child in her arm is bawling his eyes out. Eventually they manage to get him calmed down and settled in for a nap, but they still need to figure out what to do with him.

Vaggie: We can't keep him, Charlie. Charlie: Pleeeeeease Vaggie? Look at his little hoovsies! Vaggie: [Looks at his little hoovsies.] Vaggie:

Plus, as Charlie points out, there really isn't anywhere to send this child to. There aren't any orphanages or daycares in the Pentagram, except maybe in Imp City. But those ones are still meant for Hellborns, not sinners. What Hellborn is going to adopt a toddler that will never grow up? They're stuck with him.

On top of which, there's something deeply disturbing about the fact that Heaven rejected someone so young and Charlie's determined to figure it out.

Charlie ends up calling the only person she knows who has any experience with children; her dad. He sounds a little spacey and it sounds like he was only half-paying attention to her but she does manage to get him to agree to come over. Charlie's proven right that he wasn't fully listening when Lucifer sees the baby and freezes in shock as though she didn't tell him exactly what she needed his help with over the phone.

Cue the King of Hell bringing over boxes and boxes of Charlie's old baby things to help set up a nursery in the Happy Hotel.

[fleshdyk3]

god i fucking hate my dad

[crimeronan]

RE Last post of Hunter's Grimwalker parenting plan

Like they're all in their 20s and all four of them together and as settled as they can be, de-emperoring the isles is a work in progress but solidly all together and things are about as stable as can be, people are comfortable about raising the idea to the point actual logistics are being discussed.

Enough logistics and thinking seriously about the horrors of actually having to carry and birth a child that Hunter slightly frustrated can't just take on the horrors for everyone else (no implications to be drawn about the origins of this frustration) and seeks a work around for it and then finds it and he's just oh so proud of himself for it, he sets up the presentation, Willow helps it's all great.

Sure they'll have to break some endangered protections species laws Luz instituted a few years back, and Galderstone's are gonna be a problme, and whoever the orets are gonna be will have to decide what their least favorite bone is... but like, that's infintely superior to nine months of suffering

I'm just imagining Hunter being oh so positive and genuinely excited about the whole thing, and then Luz just faints Amity glares at him to stop being in denial and talk about this with Luz whilst not opening her mouth and betraying the fact that the totally 'knows' even if he refuses to acknowledge that he knows, even to himself or assimilate the idea to any of these obvious facts into his thinking.

Meanwhile Hunter, miles deep into not thinking about this, is certain that its the poaching of endangered species that's the problem and starts looking for a a solution to that problem, and not the actual problem...

hunter is like "amity, you're full of shit. if i was a grimwalker i'd know because obviously someone would have just told me. why wouldn't they" and luz immediately faints again. hunter is like no hey i think we can probably bargain with the selkiedomus instead of slaying it we don't have to commit TOTAL ecological destruction. .....not sure what we're gonna do about the stonesleeper lungs tho.

[ndostairlyrium]

Right back at you! >:D

How did Ankh take the news "Hi the gods you believed in are taking a walk up North and leaving Blight in their wake"? (also some snippets of her and Ellie-bimbo-bellissimo please?)

Oh nooo, toccherà rispondere! Ma che seccatura :C (GRASIE <33)

Long boi ahead :'D will cut it after a couple of paragraphs, no worries!

-

She's pissed off and mad about it.

Mainly for the same reason as Aisling's. Everyone would blame it on the elves and after all the work she's done to secure a place for them at the table, that's a débâcle.

The most infuriating part is that she knows she's part of the problem, as in: she was the Inquisitor, one of the most influential players in southern Thedas for a while, a dangerous rival to queens, religious leaders and emperors, even the ones who she contributed to put in a position of power.

Since the first weeks in Haven, she's known that every mistake she'd make could endanger her people further, because no matter how much good she would bring to the world, for those in power she's just a knife-ear, and every single one of her moves is going to be twisted in favor of political convenience.

And now she's partially responsible for what's going on because she sheltered the guy who allowed the gods, her gods, to roam free and unleash chaos. And that does not only fall onto her shoulders, it falls onto her people's, as if they aren't suffering enough as it is.

Her first thought when she meets with the other leaders of the south after the Blight starts is "We'll never win. We'll never survive in this world, no matter how hard we try"

She tried to reason with Solas, she left messages begging him to consider the impact that his actions would have on their people, to honor their friendship by giving her the benefit of the doubt, but did he listen?

She promised to reedem him but when she sees the Blight, she second guesses herself. What's redeemable then? Not only did he fail, he doomed the world. How does one begin to fix *gestures wildly* the woman has four arms, man. FOUR. And the power of the plague. Ankh has one hand left, a degree (del CEPU) in engineering, and politics. No fucking chance she can win this.

Again, she's left with Solas' failures to clean up and, again, she has to sacrifice part of her soul to cope. Redemption for Solas at this point seems childish, and fucking disrespectul for those he hurt, herself included.

In this, she's trying so hard to respect Varric's last wish to trust Rook, but she doesn't know the kid, even if he has Harding's endorsement - she's family, her husband's maid of honor.

But the moment she reaches for Ellie, to reassure him that the south is in good hands so that he can focus on the important tasks ahead, she gets blamed for the "mess" she's made. By another elf. One that should know how precarious her position is.

I haven't got to define the logistics yet, but I think she just stops Harding mid sentence when she begins to defend her, and reads Ellie to filth. "That's cute. Harding, let us discuss the situation. The boy can wait outside." lol

-

Now, for the religious aspect. She's disappointed but not surprised about the gods' identity; she's fucking livid that she can't be on the first lines to kick their ass flat.

Her mystical crisis started in the Arbor Wilds (she's still processing the "pools of blood" thing) and now all those suspicions that she carried upon her gods being frauds are confirmed.

The moment she felt the most empowered in her adolescence, dealing with abandonment, was to entrust herself, her soul, to a god that she was absolutely certain wouldn't abandon his people willingly. She felt a connection with him, and she felt like she needed to take on his duties and be this kind of follower: a guide in life (a hunter) and death (a carrier of last words). Kind and compassionate as him, who loved his people altruistically, so much that he accompanied them wherever he knew they would get lost.

...and then, 20 years later, one of her best friends goes "guy's a tyrant" Ankh: "can you elaborate?" Solas: "can it wait for a bit? I'm in the middle of some chiaroscuro"

Left alone with more questions than answers, she researches Falon'Din, then the others, until she speaks with Mythal and oh boy, she sucks. Hard. The holier than thou attitude? Nope. Let's keep everything we could salvage from the ye olde days and just ditch the worshipping. Maybe Solas was right.

Anyway she starts comparing notes with Shaan and all the Keepers she can find about lore and legends. The sum she makes of all the parts she could gather is that there's a 90% chance that her gods are some crazy egocentric power-hungry assholes, identical to those people in power she despises but she has to deal with on a daily. And they marked their people like cattle - Mythal included.

I do have the thing written so I'll just sum it up briefly: when she finds out that Solas can remove her Vallaslin, she fully goes for it. Doing so, she entrusts another big shot with her faith in a very fragile moment. Ironic, I would say, but she doesn't regret her decision.

Sometimes her face itches, as if something was gently pulling her skin where her Vallaslin were.

Anyway! Back to the hic et nunc:

When Ankh finds out about the gods' escape, they have to physically keep her from jumping through Morrigan's eluvian as she wants to take the matter onto her hands. Especially after Harding (hurt during the ritual) sends in the first reports.

She manages to calm down when all the allies that she managed to gather during the events of Inquisition turn to her for advice. Realizing that she's needed the most in the south (and that she's acting not so logical), she decides to trust Harding's judgment and focus on what matters the most.

Thank goodness Falon'Din isn't involved. That would have broken her for good :'D nobody would stop her if he was the one causing havoc.

And also, she can give it to Ghilan'nain because yeah, she's deranged, but she doesn't need a mask or excuses to doing whatever the fuck she's doing. She asks Harding to relay this message to Solas.

...

I um, don't think she's reacting very well to the situation.

[oathtorn]

// sometimes I think about how many times in bg3 you get conflicts that don't have an objectively "best" outcome. I think about freeing the 7000 vampires, for example. Freeing them is the ethical thing to do, because they are all innocent victims, but it remains true that leaving thousands of vampires loose, even in the underdark, is a bad bad idea. Not only are they traumatized people, but they're predators who have only their instincts to help them survive in an unfamiliar land that isn't exactly bountiful in terms of wildlife. If they don't do well, they'll die or be slaughtered, and if they do they'll ruin entire communities or ecosystems, depending on whether they feed on people or animals.

[deus-ex-mona]

series i’m gatekeeping from my family vs series i’m ✨ok✨ with my family knowing i’m into:

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

wait did my dad call me "goose" when I was a kid because... ? hang on.... was that.......?