#Ugh. I don't know.
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fourfuckinghorsemen · 2 years ago
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Really is lonely sometimes.
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brcakablc-mind · 9 months ago
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I'm doing a little better but I'm still... frustrated.
Like. Yeah. I'm sorry I hurt you by saying that having friends doesn't mean they'll stick around.
You know what hurts just about as bad?
Gettin' tied to the back of a truck that someone's drivin' and gettin' kicked around and shot at and then told to face my death with dignity and smile for them.
After rescuing someone who I kinda saw as like a daughter.
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technically-human · 3 months ago
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Bisexual crisis Crystal edition
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notherpuppet · 9 months ago
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Someone asked if I was adding more to "Buckshot"
...and then I accidentally posted it before I was done answering LOL. Anyway, here was the answer:
I have some ideas that I just haven't fleshed out yet. But I really like that AU and I want to return to it.
As for the Buckshot specific "chapter"...I do have some 'deleted scenes' that I just didn't feel like drawing (laziness) but hmm maybe i'll get the motivation to sketch them out eventually.
Some deleted scenes:
Scene 1.5 [Lucifer looks at Alastor's wounds as he's changing his bandages and clothes. Alastor's covered in severe scars exhibiting many different kinds of injuries.] Lucifer: "So many scars...I wonder what he's been through..." [Lucifer glances at Alastor's face, which somehow still has a faint, but visible smile.] Lucifer (incredulous and annoyed): "Yet he always keeps that smile on his face..." CUT TO FLASHBACK MONTAGE: Lucifer, Alastor, and Charlie playing in the park, eating dinner altogether, and singing backup for Charlie while Alastor plays the piano. [Lucifer smiles softly and turns up the corners of Alastor's sleeping smile.] Charlie: "I thought Al needed to sleep!" >:-0 [Lucifer draws his hands back suddenly, embarrassed.] Lucifer: "Where did you--" [Charlie climbs onto Alastor's rest bed. She haphazardly reaches for Alastor's face.] Charlie: "My turn or it's not fair!" >:-D Lucifer: "Charlie, no!" --- Scene 4.5 (happens at the dinner party, in Lucifer's room, after Alastor bleeds through his shirt) [Lucifer quickly changed into a red tuxedo. Alastor is lagging, due to his pain and need to clean his wound with a soft cloth.] Lucifer: "Let me help you--" Alastor: "I can handle this." Lucifer: "Would you stop being so stubborn? You're drugged up, drunk, and moving slow as hell. You want to arouse more suspicion or do you wanna get this over with?" [Alastor rolls his eyes and rudely tosses the cloth at Lucifer's face. Lucifer's quick reflexes catch the cloth effortlessly.] Lucifer: "That's what I thought." [Lucifer begins to clean Al's wound. Alastor has a pained expression. He winces and grabs Lucifer's wrist forcefully.] Alastor: "You're being a brute." [Alastor guides Lucifer's hand gently and drops his hand once Lucifer adapts. Lucifer helps bandage Alastor back up and get dressed. They're now both in new tuxedos, sans bow ties. Before Lucifer can grab his bowtie, Alastor snatches it.] Alastor: "Allow me." Lucifer: "I can tie my own bow tie." Alastor: "Did you not say we were in a hurry? I think we both know it will go faster if I just tie it." [Lucifer rolls his eyes but resigns. Alastor ties the bowtie swiftly and perfectly.] Lucifer: "Ugh, how do you do this so easily? Aren't you high?" Alastor: "As a kite." [There is a beat and they both share a laugh. Suddenly they hear a distant voice yelling:] Adam (distant): "So much for a quickie!" Alastor: "We should go."
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teaboot · 2 months ago
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Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
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madbalalaika · 10 months ago
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masastiy · 4 days ago
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A compilation of Manfred during the final battle.
Everyone is so serious and stoic, then tensely sneaking around... while Manfred just rattles his bones along to the best of his abilities.
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Bonus video: Manfred being a helpful little egg during the fight against the Venatori. The startled tiny "ah!" one of them lets out when Manfred jumps onto him is priceless.
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hansoeii · 1 year ago
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fem presenting loki!
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silusvesuius · 5 months ago
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baby👶 drawings. these are very dear to me rn.. 2nd pic is my Nelavis with @barvin0k's Varonur 🩵 last one is a baby bosmer and snow elf, hairiest of them all. although the bosmer was meant to be my girl Barletta too lols
#tes#skyrim#my art#oc#nelavis#barletta#😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔 babies are so sweetum ugh my heart is crumbling rn#referenced some anne g*ddes stuff for dis#i call them snow elves instead of falmer like g*lebor would want me to#i never really get to talk about my elf anatomies at length cus i'm lazy but i sprinkled some info in the first pic#altmer society is EugenicsLand so you could only tell if your child has 'good' traits when they hit puberty#ex. height and shoulder width is something very important to them#if you don't have those traits ur pretty much a failure#other elves have it easier 🤓#idk i still might make some kinda infographic for the way i picture them but umm maybe not who knows#on snow elves and bosmer the fur is still 'confused' when they're in baby stage and is pretty much everywhere#it evens out w/ age and stays on the back; neck; sides of face the most and in places where human body hair wud be#idk ummm..and i think all elves grow their nails out unless they're very intertwined with humans in their life#ex. my snelf elisif; she has her nails trimmed to be regarded as more human i guess#nails are most important to altmer tho and might be a status symbol of some kind... they like using them in combat too#it's shameful for an altmer to not have long nails for any reason but there can be exceptions#like my el*nwen that can't physically grow nails out because of burn injury#so she has fake ones on her combat gloves#it's cute#elf nails aren't as frail as human nails and are more like an animals claws (corny) but bosmers' are the sturdiest#and their nails are curved in shape. for U know. Climbing and stuff#cause dunmer and altmer etc. have straight nails. they can hit the nail salon
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secriden · 18 days ago
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Just going to cry again (see: my previous post about the parallels between the storage room scene and the abandoned factory scene) about parallels and juxtapositions in the store room scene vs the one in Styles bedroom:
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Both these scenes have such a tone of desperation and are characterised by an overflowing of emotions, but in drastically opposite directions.
(Note, some of what I say in this post directly relates to concepts and themes I talked about here, so it may not wholly make sense without that context.)
The scene in the storeroom is filled with frustrated desire. Fadel kisses Style because he wants Style's body and also wants to take his frustrations at Style out on his body. He doesn't need to look Style in the eye (and in fact very intentionally only does so only in small snatches) because this isn't about a connection as much as it is about a release. Fadel's kisses come fast, hard, and are intended to bruise more than to adore.
But episode 5's scene is filled with much more quiet and tender sort of desire. Style is kissing Fadel so much more slowly and purposefully. He keeps looking back at Fadel, checking in to see how he feels and whether Fadel is enjoying it. Everything Style wanted in Episode 3, he now gives to Fadel here, pours the secrets of his knowing and choosing Fadel anyway into the way he presses his lips onto Fadel's skin. His kisses linger, they carry a weight but are not gentle, and contain meaning that Fadel's kisses couldn't in Episode 3 because in all honesty they were relative strangers back then.
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There's also the way there's such a ferocity and carelessness in the way Fadel starts the encounter in episode 3 that is juxtaposed beautifully by the slow, tender, almost hesitant way Style slides his lips onto Fadel's. Both of them are in such different headspaces, between these episodes and its especially evident in the way they care so much more about the other person's comfort and how intentionally they showed that to the audience.
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There's hunger present in both scenes but what this hunger is focused on is so drastically different. In the storeroom, they're both mainly focused on a physical release; its primal and visceral but lacked emotional resonance. Fadel gives Style what he knows Style wants (that hint of danger, with the hand on his neck), but its not because he really cares about what Style wants on anything more than a physical level. In Style's bedroom, however, Fadel is drunk (intentionally and by his own design) and desperate to open himself up to Style on an emotional level. Meanwhile, Style wants that desperately too, but knows that Fadel shouldn't because of his own terrible secret. So this kiss is what they both will allow themselves - an honesty and a hunger for this deeper connection they can only share in act but not in words.
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In the storeroom, Style wants Fadel to want more than his body but knows (or thinks) he can't push for it yet, so he remains passive, lets Fadel do whatever he wants, lets him turn and shove and place Style how he wants because at this point, this is all Fadel will give him. Here, Style is passive in spite of what he wants. But in the bedroom, Fadel is passive because it's what he wants; he wants to let Style do whatever he desires to and with Fadel's body. He wants to lay himself as bare as he possibly can, which is only physical, and so he does.
And because the encounter in Episode 3 lacked that emotional connection, the focus is merely their respective releases. There's a sense of two people trying to find pleasure and 'finish' while remaining emotionally disconnected despite actively having sex with each other. Because in some ways, they didn't really need each other in that moment to get there (there's actually a lot of truth in what Fadel says about it being easier to just jerk off alone). In sharp contrast, the scene in Episode 5 isn't focused on the destination but on the journey. Style is taking his time and Fadel is letting him - Style is choosing to worship Fadel's body, with his fingers, with his lips, to respond to his vulnerability with gentleness and tenderness and adoration. The goal has stopped being about finding a release, it's about allowing both these men to revel in the giving and receiving of pleasure.
The point of these scenes is to show to us the ways in which Fadel and Style have grown to care for and, dare I say it, love each other in ways that are so purposefully portrayed by showing the nature of their physical connection. Because the ways in which these scenes are the same and yet so wholly different showcases how their touches are now no longer merely tied to their senses any longer, but also to their hearts as well.
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grabyourpillow · 5 days ago
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Another thing I love is how everytime Lawrence and Benítez are on screen together, Lawrence somehow ends up telling Benítez things you can tell he never expected to share with someone outside of his circle of confidants, et encore. His difficulties with prayer when they walk together, his views on Tremblay, his outburst "I don't want your vote!". He always looks surprised at himself afterwards, like he can't quite comprehend where it came from. And it's like, that's just the effect Benítez has on people. Because he watches, and most of all, he listens so deeply it's disarming.
Which is also how he ends up defeating Tedesco, whose rather empty words falter when faced with someone who listens closely and hears how untethered to reality they sound.
He makes such a fine pope.
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fourfuckinghorsemen · 2 years ago
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I'm so skinny.
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cosmicdreamgrl · 4 months ago
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bangtan gif challenge by @kth1 ☆ ↳ a concept that you cannot forget -> mots: 7 ver. 1, 2 & 3 [ cr: namuspromised ]
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heckitall · 1 year ago
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Same As It Never Will Be
Part 1 - Part 2
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it's been a hot minute since i drew the 2k3 boys. gotta say, it was v refreshing and nostalgic
i'm hoping to have a friday update schedule :)
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meep-meep-richie · 9 months ago
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��´ You already know that i´m interested. ´´
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thebroccolination · 1 month ago
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BLITZ TRIED TO USE THE CRYSTAL!!!
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I haven't seen anyone mention it yet but on my three-hundredth rewatch I finally noticed the crystal blazing red.
He was doing everything he possibly could to get to Stolas.
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