#UPSET ABOUT IT

[hexasart]

A

[ryonello]

HI i finally made an instagram if you want to find me there 💕

had to cave and add a little bastard underscore ........

[housewifebuck]

God I wish I could write

[irlactualhuman]

Got fully ghosted by a dude I was talking to for a solid week or two with no indication that it would happen and no reason why.

Like. Fair enough. Okay. Your right to decide you don't wanna talk to me anymore, but genuinely: *why* did you act like you were so into me up until the last second? Usually, there's some sort of decline to track or an inciting moment or incident.

Ugh. We played smash melee together with awful ping. That used to mean something.

[slimedblr]

NO THEY KILLED THE PREGNANCY BIT

[itchose]

laura asked me why i said vienna by ultravox playing in two different travis scenes is significant to his death and now i'm making it everyone's problem. there are a few songs that play twice in the series and both times it plays, there's a reason for it.

we first hear vienna when travis is revealed to be dead.

the second time we hear it, he can't find javi, it's dark and getting cold, and he's starting to panic. nat finds him, and she tries to calm him down, and he tells her "something happened last night." something happened to him, something he's refusing to process himself, and he's focusing all his energy on finding javi instead. because he can't change what happened to him, he likely can never truly get over what happened to him, but finding javi is something he can do.

he's dealing with a lot of (misplaced) shame over what happened to him the night before, and while nat is the only one he feels like he can trust, it's so scary to even try to open up to her or be vulnerable with her at all so he feels like his only option is to push her away. he feels like he has to. he chose to go with jackie, that inevitably made him a target for all the other girls, and he feels like he betrayed nat for it. after all that happened, he can't fathom why nat would want to help, so he tries to push her away just to protect himself from that inevitably rejection that he thinks he deserves anyway.

"i don't want your help, nat." "i know." "i don't want your fucking help, nat." "i know." "[...] i'm so sorry. i didn't want to. i fucking love you, natalie."

it's the way she doesn't argue and just accepts it that travis eventually gets to the place of allowing himself to open up. he's never revealed this side of himself before, always hiding his vulnerability with anger and attempted cruelty instead ('attempted' because even though he says what he says, he doesn't really say any of it in a way that makes you think he believes in what he's saying). he's not good at apologies which is why he mumbles it out, hesitates before he says anything, but he finds it necessary. she's not arguing with him and that grants her access to his breakdown and he needs her, he's finally willing to admit it, even though he's so guarded with everyone now.

this wilderness scene goes back and forth between travis and nat's conversation + nat cleaning up her motel room as she prepares for her suicide attempt - with the photos of travis's death in the forefront, obviously implying that that's what's leading her to this. the scene in the teen timeline gives us real insight into why his death affects her so heavily in the adult timeline, but it also heavily parallels what travis is going through, too.

travis's death is so tied into his belief of what's going on in the wilderness + javi. both of these things started that night, the day after doomcoming, after what was his most traumatizing experience and he was desperate to find some way to cope. he couldn't be an outsider anymore because it made him a target, so he tried to follow lottie instead, become a part of it + give in to the blessings because he thought that's how he would survive - and ultimately, she gave him hope that his brother was still out there, and he needed that.

as an adult, he wants to talk to It, he wants to feel something, and the only way he knows how is to die, even just for a few moments. what happened to him on doomcoming + what happened to javi are both his most traumatizing events and they go hand in hand, he blames himself for what happened that night and inevitably losing javi because of it, and he thinks he would still be alive if they hadn't gone through that.

"a voice reaching out in a piercing cry, it stays with you until the feeling has gone."

the song plays in the teen timeline and ultimately signifies his impending doom. at this point, we already know that he's going to die. he's dead before the narrative begins but this song playing at his death reveal and here tells us that this is the start of how he gets there. doomcoming is so significant to the downfall of his entire life and his inevitable death.

[majorbaby]

unexpected bj feelings tonight

[communist-hatsunemiku]

the way i used to like, have serious issues with shame and shit irt to liking anime titty, RIP in pieces to that version of myself, glad your dead tbh

[rafeandonlyrafe]

well 🧍‍♀️ as a reminder this blog is NOT a safe space for trump supporters but it IS a safe place for women, queers, trans ppl, people of color, undocumented people, and any marginalized group.

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

[chaichai-draws]

Personally I think that Telemachus permanently and irreversibly changed Athena for the better, more on that at twelve

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

Harrow: my deepest darkest trauma is that my parents killed a bunch of children in order to make me into a powerful necromancer. they died for me. their blood is on my hands.

Gideon: that sucks dude. anyways I'm going to sacrifice myself to save your life. you'll be an even more powerful necromancer. pretty sick, huh?

Gideon: why are you so upset about this

Gideon: is it because you don't like me

[rapidhighway]

the thing that caused me so much grief last night but now i feel better about it fdnghgdfggd

[star-anise]

I really wonder if trauma theorists who say things like "Humans are the only animal that will be in a fright state when physically safe" or "the rest of the animal kingdom doesn't get PTSD" have ever, like

Do you think they've actually ever met an animal?

[fallenangelblade]

mary winchester becomes a grandmother at age 30 when her sons, ages 38 and 34, adopt their dead 400 million-year-old best friend’s 22-year-old newborn son

[anna-scribbles]

emma dupain cheng on the brain😽🎀

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