#UNLESS. unless it is done for the gag. for the funny.

[good-wine-and-cheese]

I know a lot of peoples big AU hates are like soulmate AU or coffee shop AU but I gotta say actor AU is the worst of them for me

[jeneveuxrein]

safety net [2/2] (BLACKPINK Rosé)

word count: 25.8K

part 1 (14.8K) | part 2 (11K)

(yeah, lol)

Self-loathing has always been something you’ve done. It was likely the result of never being good enough for your parents even when you delivered on every single expectation they’ve had for you. 

At this current point in your life, you hate yourself for the situation you blindly agreed to. 

It’s been about a month since Rosie disturbed your peace in the library, asking if you’d teach her how to have sex, which translates into having sex with her. 

You haven’t had sex yet, but you’ve done everything else a lot. Rosie has been eager to finally do it, but there’s something that always stops you. She gets frustrated, but you eat her out, quickly bringing her to an orgasm, and all is forgotten until next time. You sense her getting impatient, but you’re scared that once you finally do, that’ll be it. 

And it’s been nice spending all this time with her. You see her pretty much every day. The only times you don’t is if she has to finish a project or if she has a date with Soohyun. When it’s the latter, you get all broody, but your mood immediately changes when she messages you as soon as she’s home. 

Rosie doesn’t tell you much about the dates unless you ask. She has shared that they’ve exchanged a couple kisses here and there, but she often compares Soohyun to you—too much teeth, too aggressive, too… everything she’s not used to. It goes straight to your ego because how could it not. 

The physical aspect of your relationship aside, you two are actually getting along. You still bicker, but it doesn’t end with her yelling anymore. 

Rosie’s a catch, which is understandable based on the amount of people that want to be with her. She’s funny. She’s kind. She’s driven. She’s sometimes in her own world, that you often get lost with her when she rambles on about her day. She’s someone you could see yourself with if it was under different circumstances. 

You hear your name being called, breaking you out of your thoughts as you stare at your computer screen. You see Rosie approaching you with Jisoo, waving as the other woman looks bored already. 

“Hey Rosie,” You greet affectionately. “Jisoo.” 

Jisoo gives you a wave, smiling, as Rosie walks behind your chair. 

“Whatcha working on?” Rosie peeks over your shoulder. 

It’s an expense report that your father sent you to look over, but you’ve been swamped with exams coming up. 

“Just work stuff,” You answer, stretching your arms and letting out a yawn. “Are you done with your project?” 

“Yeah, Jisoo and I were going to grab dinner but I wanted to find you before we left,” Rosie ruffles your hair. “I’ll come by after though?” 

Jisoo makes a gagging sound, earning a glare from the woman behind you. 

“Sure, I’ll be home around 8. I have a game today,” You inform her, checking the time. 

“Oh what? You should’ve told me, I would’ve came,” Rosie sounds disappointed. 

“It’s alright, I probably won’t play that much anyways,” You send her an easy smile. “I’ll see you later.” 

Rosie nods, blowing you a kiss that has you blushing while Jisoo makes the sound again. She grunts when Rosie hits her arm, a quick bye before getting dragged away. 

You watch their figures get smaller, suddenly missing Rosie that you can’t focus anymore on work. You sigh, shaking your head, deciding that you’ll just shoot around before your game. 

--

“Why,” Rosie tears her lips away from yours, tilting her head back that you attack her neck. “Won’t you have sex with me?” She pants when you suck on her skin, careful to not leave a mark because he might see it. 

“Are you in a rush?” You murmur, hand sneaking underneath her blouse to palm her breast. 

“Well—no,” She gasps when you gently pinch her nipple. “I just think I’m ready. We’ve done a lot and I—fuck.”

“You what?” You continue your ministrations on her chest, massaging each breast with equal attention. 

“I’ve been thinking about how you’d feel inside me,” You stop and she squirms underneath you. 

If you weren’t hard enough before, you’re about ready to bust through your briefs. 

You pull back, staring at her. Your mind’s going a mile a minute because you weren’t expecting to actually follow through tonight. 

“I want this with you,” Rosie whispers, sitting up slightly to kiss you on the lips. “If anything hurts, I’ll tell you.” 

Fuck fuck okay. It’s go time and you couldn’t talk yourself out of this. 

“Okay,” You nod, kissing her forehead. “Are you sure?” You have to ask one more time. 

“Yes,” Rosie tugs her blouse over her head, leaving her completely nude. “You’re overthinking this.” 

You are, but for reasons she doesn’t know. You don’t even know yourself. You’re acting as if it’s your first time. 

“Kiss me,” And you do, resting your weight on top of her. 

It’s slow and sensual, her lips soft on your as you trail your hand between her legs. You swipe a finger in between her folds to check and she’s wet. She moans at the contact, rolling her hips for more contact. You repeat the movement just to be sure. You’ve been told that you’re above average in the size department, and you don’t want her to be in any pain. 

Rosie gets impatient, tugging your waistband down to free your cock. You groan when her hand wraps around you, stroking you gently as you kick the material off. 

When you deem her wet enough, you meet her hand with yours, guiding your cock in between her lips. Your body screams at you to enter her, but instead with your control quickly slipping, you run your length in between, moaning at the first contact of her pussy. 

“Stop teasing,” Rosie pants, body trembling beneath you as you rock your hips. 

“I’m sorry,” You’re really not. You don’t know what comes over you, but you lean back, spreading her legs wider as you grip your cock, spreading the precum over. “I need to get a condom.” You reach over to your nightstand, but she stops you. 

“Have you had sex with anyone since?”

“No,” You’ve been too wrapped up in her that any woman that you’ve seen at a party or hooked up with previously hasn’t been on your mind. 

“Then no condom, I’m on the pill,” Rosie says softly. 

You stare at her for a moment, heart pounding against your chest at what she’s offering. Rationale goes out the window because even though you’ve had a condom rule for the past year, you’d love to feel her without one. 

“Trust me?” Rosie bites her lip, nodding, eyes locked at your cock as you rest the head at her entrance. “Tell me if it’s too much.” 

You take a breath, more for your sake, as your cock slowly enters her. Her hands shoot to your hip, stopping your movement instantly. 

You’ve barely made any headway, but from what you’re feeling so far is too much for you to handle. She’s warm, wet, and tight as her body tenses at the intrusion. You keep reminding yourself to go slow because this is still her first time and going at the pace your body is telling you to would not be fair to her. 

“Holy shit,” Rosie gasps as her hands move to grip your arms. “Keep going,” She breathes slowly, catching her breath as you press your hips slightly forward. 

Her heat envelops you, applying a delicious pressure the deeper you go. You glance down at where your bodies are joined and you’re barely halfway there. 

What you want to do is snap your hips forward, completely, but you’re aware of Rosie’s breathing and expressions for any signs of discomfort. 

Though that awareness is quickly getting lost. 

“Are you all the way?” Rosie asks weakly, eyes scrunched closed. 

“Uh, almost?” You’re able to say as you gently rock back and forth to get your cock inside more. “How are you feeling?” 

“It’s—fuck—not bad, but there’s just a lot of pressure,” Rosie breathes out. 

Tell me about it. 

You distract her by kissing her all over, keeping your rhythm as her body relaxes to take more of you in. Her nails scratch at your arms, but you’d take a little bit of pain any day. 

You don’t realize it, but in no time, you’re fully sheathed by her heat, letting out a whimper when you see your cock disappear inside her. 

“You doing okay?” You grunt, burying your face into her neck to keep yourself from cumming right then and there. 

“Yeah,” Rosie sighs, experimenting by squeezing her inner walls around you. 

“You’re so hot,” You murmur, trailing kisses along her neck. “Your pussy feels so good around me, you’re taking me so well.” Her body responds to your words—interesting—as she spreads her legs wider to take you in. “You like hearing how you make me feel, huh?” Rosie can only nod, tipping her head back.

You lean back, slowly pulling your hips back, and watch, entranced, as your cock slides out. It’s covered in her slick, and you’ve never seen anything hotter. You let out a sigh as you feel her contract around the tip. She moans and something snaps inside you that you suddenly thrust back in. 

Rosie screams at the pressure, letting out a filthy moan that has you groaning. Your body moves on its own accord, slowly pumping your cock in and out of her pussy that has you seeing stars. 

“Fuck, baby,” She moans, pants, as she starts to babble nonsense as her walls accommodate to your girth. “You feel so good.”

You try not to pay attention to the pet name, but it only spurs you on more.

Her walls rhythmically squeeze every time you bottom out. It doesn’t stop you. It makes you chase the feeling, an addiction that you wouldn’t mind having. 

You lose yourself in her body, watching her bite her lip and lose her breath as she grabs onto the sheets. Hearing your name fall from her lips wakes something up in you.The sounds she makes drive you to thrust into her, and when you hit a certain spot inside, she demands you don’t stop. You don’t break rhythm as she squirms. You grab her hips, letting out groans of your own as you feel your orgasm coming. 

“Chaeng,” Your hips falter as her pussy contracts after a particularly hard thrust, “I’m gonna cum.” 

“Inside,” Rosie locks eyes with you, “Cum inside me.” 

Your resolve snaps as you thrust wildly into her, chasing your orgasm as you feel the start of hers, walls squeezing your cocks so tightly you feel lightheaded. You feel her nails digging into your skin, holding onto like her life depends on it.

“Yes, yes,” Rosie chants like a song as her head snaps back, showing her neck as her body is wracked with pleasure.

Cum shoots from your cock inside her, painting her inner walls white, groaning as you rut into her. Your brain shuts off as you fall on top of her. She doesn’t seem to mind as she wraps her arms around you, placing soft kisses all over your face. You hear a contented sigh from her as you gasp for air. 

When you come to your senses, you automatically kiss Rosie on the lips—a simple, sweet one—as you catch her breath against your lips. She tries to deepen it, but you pull away, smiling softly as you fully take her in. Your heart has never felt so loud. 

“Hi,” You say quietly. 

“Hey yourself,” Rosie returns your smile. 

“You okay?” You glance down where you’re still connecting, hoping—praying—you weren’t too rough. 

“A little sore, but never better.” 

“ I wasn’t too rough right?”

“Nope,” Rosie shakes her head. 

You gently pull out, watching her face wince, but she lets out a quiet moan when your softened cock brushes against her clit. 

“Sorry!” You rush out, falling next to her as she chuckles. 

“Stop,” Rosie lightly slaps your arm, bringing it to rest on her stomach. 

“Sorry,” You mumble again. 

“I feel it leaking,” Rosie states simply, sitting up to look in between her legs. You join her and see a dribble of your cum peak through her folds. “That’s kind of hot.”

“Chaeng,” You groan, the image of what’s between her legs etched in your mind forever. 

“It is,” Rosie nudges your shoulder, laughing. “I’m exhausted. I hope I’m not too sore tomorrow, I have to carry a bunch of things to the studio.”

“I’ll help you.”

“Like actually?” Rosie sinks back into the pillow, turning to face you. 

You nod. 

“You don’t even have classes tomorrow?” 

“I know, but I’ll take you to school with all your stuff,” You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t help her, knowing that she’ll likely be sore because of you. That wouldn’t sit well with you. 

Rosie kisses you on the cheek, smiling before snuggling into you. It all feels very relationship-y, spiking your anxiety because you’re more attached to her than you ever intended. 

And that scares you the most. 

--

“Thanks Eunbi,” You send a grateful smile to the girl sitting across from you as you’re finishing up the group project that completely slipped your mind. 

“It’s fine oppa,” Eunbi laughs. “It’s a low-stakes project anyways.”

“Still,” You roll your eyes, annoyed with yourself more than anything. “I would’ve literally forgotten about it if you didn’t say anything.” 

You and Eunbi were assigned as partners for a project that wasn’t worth much towards your grade, but it was supposed to help with the semester project that was worth your entire grade. Eunbi was someone you interacted with frequently, sharing the same classes, but spending the past couple days with her has kept your mind off a certain someone (who you’ve been actively avoiding for the past few days)z

The day after you and Rosie had sex, you did drop her off at school, carrying all her things to the studio so she wouldn’t have to lift a finger. Naturally, people saw you together, creating a small rumor about you dating. It freaked you out because everyone is aware of her and Soohyun that you needed to distance yourself from her. 

Of course, without her realizing what you’re doing. But Rosie was perceptive, so sooner or later, she’ll confront you. 

“Are you doing anything right now?” Eunbi asks after she finished packing her belongings. 

“Uh no?” 

“Did you want to get dinner?” 

“Sure why not,” You shrug because you’re not doing anything wrong, but why did you suddenly feel a weight on your shoulders? 

Eunbi smiles, and she’s pretty. She knows it too, but she doesn’t let that get to her head. She is someone you haven’t gone out with or slept with, so it couldn’t hurt to spend a little bit more time with her outside of school work. 

Right?

Wrong. 

The universe has a funny way of making things happen. 

As you’re exiting the library, Rosie’s outside. You try to avoid her, but she looks up at the right moment, eyes narrowing, and stomps her way over to you. 

“Seriously?” Is all she says, glancing behind you to see who you’re with. 

“What?” Your wall’s up, especially with people passing by. You pray to a higher being that she doesn’t make a scene. 

“You know what,” Rosie huffs, crossing her arms. 

“Uh, oppa,” Eunbi says before you could respond to the woman seething in front of you. “We can have dinner another time.” 

You turn your head, and Eunbi has an understanding smile on her face, nodding encouragingly while you feel the metaphorical daggers stabbing the side of your face. 

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll see you around okay?” Eunbi’s eyes crinkle, nodding politely at Rosie before walking away. 

Once Eunbi’s a good few meters away, Rosie tugs on your arm, “Seriously, what the fuck? You’ve been avoiding me.” 

Okay so maybe you haven’t been handling this the best. You’ve intentionally missed her phone calls and blatantly ignored her messages. You don’t know if it’s because of how you feel towards her, which you’re still trying to figure out, or if it’s because you thought that it was a one-time thing. 

“Can we not do this here?” You offer weakly, and her jaw noticeably clenches. 

“Fine,” Rosie relents, shaking her head, cursing you under her breath before walking towards the parking lot.

--

You’re sitting on the couch, watching Rosie pace back and forth across your living room. She didn’t say much to you on the car ride over except that she was playing music. She grunted a thanks when you opened the door for her, opting to change into more comfortable clothes, leaving her some on your bed in case she wanted to change. 

Other than that, she hasn’t said anything else. 

“Did you want me to cook something?”

No response, the sound of Rosie’s feet continues to shuffle on the hardwood. 

“You know,” Rosie stops in front of the window, back towards you as she looks out at the night city skyline, “I spent the last three days wracking my brain over why you weren’t talking to me.” 

“I can–” Rosie shakes her head, prompting you to not say anything more. 

“I thought everything between us was going well. Yeah we still bicker, but we aren’t arguing like we used to. We had sex. I thought it was great aside from the expected soreness, but then you just ghost me,” Thankfully she doesn’t see you wince. “I was like there’s no way he’s going to treat me like I’m one of his usual fucks, right? He has to have more respect for me.” Rosie turns around, eyes narrowed as she walks towards you. 

“Rosie–”

“I thought about it more and I even talked about it with Lisa and Jennie because I needed someone, anyone really, to make sure I wasn’t going crazy,” Rosie stands in between your legs, crossing her arms. “Lisa being Lisa said that I was overthinking it too much, but do you want to know what Jennie said?” 

“What?” You gulp, gaze locked on hers. 

“Since you and Jennie had a fling, or whatever,” You detect something off in her tone when she says that, but if you point it out, she’ll yell at you. “She said that maybe you had feelings for me.”

Fucking Jennie. 

“I called it absurd because it’s you and me. We set the rules, which for what it’s worth, we broke a couple of them, but that’s the one we absolutely couldn’t break,” Rosie’s eyes narrow, searching your face for truth. You hoped you weren’t giving anything away, but you weren’t too sure. 

Sentences weren’t forming under her intense gaze, so you could only nod. 

“I have to ask, do you have feelings for me?” Rosie asks point blank. 

Yes is the short answer. 

The long answer is much more complicated for you to put into words because you’re admitting to yourself that you do, and that’s what’s fucking you up more. 

“No.”

“No? Then why were you avoiding me? I called. I texted. I had half the mind of just coming over here to curse you out, but Jennie stopped me,” Her shoulders drop, defeated, as the hurt breaks through her façade. 

“I figured you were done with me,” You say softly. 

“Why would you think that?” Rosie kneels in between your legs, resting her hands on your thighs. Your brain short circuits because it’s a very familiar position that your body has become very conditioned to. 

“We had sex, isn’t that what you wanted? To just get it over with?” 

“Well yeah,” Rosie folds her arms, cradling her face in her hands as she stares at you. “But I still want to do more things with you. Soohyun and I have gone on a few dates, but we aren’t anything official.” 

“When he asks you out, that’s when this,” You gesture between your bodies, “Will be over?” 

Rosie nods, “It would make the most sense right? I would be cheating on him if we continued doing things and I called him my boyfriend.”

It stings to hear that more than you thought it would, but you swallow that, pushing it deep down. 

“That’s true. You’ll tell me when that happens?” You ask. You need to prepare yourself for a heartbreak you weren’t expecting. 

“You’ll be the first to know when he asks me out,” Rosie moves, straddling your lap. “But for now, I want to do things with you,” She grounds her hips down, showing you exactly what she wants to do. 

“Yeah?” Your cock starts to awaken, hardening as your hands grip her thighs. “Like what?” 

“Ride you,” Rosie brings her lips to yours, murmuring, “I’m not sore anymore.” 

You groan, mind clouded with her body bouncing on your cock—a very imminent reality as she pulls her top over her head, leaving her completely nude from the waist up.

“Go ahead, Chaeng,” You whisper against her lips, letting her take control of the night. 

And you know you’ll be absolutely fucked out by the end of it. 

--

--

Your hand contacts the flesh of her thigh, a loud smack rings through your room. 

“Fuck baby,” Rosie moans loudly, rolling her hips back, trying to get your cock where she needs you most. 

“Do you deserve it?” You bend forward, kissing her neck sweetly. 

“Yes,” She pants, nodding obediently, squirming in your grip as she continues her movement, brushing your cock in between her lower lips. 

Another loud smack echoes as Rosie nearly screams when you aim your cock at her opening, entering her in one swift thrust.

“Good girl,” You whisper, leaning back before watching your cock pull out just enough where your tip stays within her warmth. 

“Please,” Rosie turns her head around, biting her lip, nodding that she’s more than okay. You feel her walls contract on your tip, a groan falling from your lips before you thrust back in. 

You start off slow, wanting to savor this because whether Rosie knows it or not, this is the last time for this to happen. 

Another month has gone by and Soohyun still hasn’t asked her out. Everyone knows they’re an item, but it hasn’t happened—yet. 

Though everyone—besides her friends—doesn’t know that you fuck her every time after their dates. 

The universe still never works in your favor, so you just happened to be in line to get coffee behind Soohyun and one of his friends before you had class. They spoke loud enough for you to hear his friend ask Soohyun when he was going to ask Rosie to be his girlfriend officially. Curiosity got the best of you, and when Soohyun said tomorrow after dinner, you knew you had to see her tonight. 

It wasn’t out of the routine for you to see Rosie after school, but it was out of the routine for you to ask. You hardly initiated it because you didn’t want to assume, but the few times you did, it was because of your parents’ pressuring you to join them on an overseas trip to Japan to meet with the Nakamuras. You were overly stressed out and Rosie conditioned you to go to her to release any frustrations you had. 

Was she surprised when you walked up to her in front of her roommates? No, because you were friends with them too. Was she surprised when you asked if she wanted to come over tonight? You weren’t sure, but you saw her head tilt, questioning before answering sure. You ignored the smirks that formed on their faces. 

Rosie knew something was up the moment you pushed her against the front door as soon as it shut, dragging your lips across her neck. 

“Everything okay?” Rosie asked in between breaths, letting out a squeak when you grabbed one of her legs, wrapping it around your waist. 

“Yeah,” You answered, ignoring your thoughts as you grounded your hips over hers. 

She didn’t ask anything else, moaning softly as you sucked on her collarbone, lifting her other leg to carry her to your room.

Rosie’s inner walls tighten along your cock on every pull out, and she moans, chest heaving as she takes your cock. Her body quivers in your hands as you saw yourself in and out, in and out. 

“Baby,” The pet name falls from her lips. She only calls you it when your balls deep in her, and it spurs you on every single time. “You feel so good.”

“You’re a good girl,” You murmured, pressing your chest against her back. You stop your movements, leaving your length fully sheathed inside, “Show me what good girls do.”

Rosie lets out a small whine, squirming as she moves her body along your cock. Her hips gyrating on yours has you seeing stars, moaning in her ear. Her pussy tightens, rubbing itself over and over, and you scoff, knowing she found the special spot inside of her. 

One hand slaps her ass, and she stops. 

You’ve learned a lot about Rosie this past month. She may mouth off at you a lot in public, but behind closed doors, she’s obedient as ever, tapping into a side of you you hadn’t been since Nayeon. You both soon realized, after a particularly long night together, that it was something you both enjoyed with each other. Whenever she was particularly bratty, especially with her friends there, it would rile you up a lot. 

“Good girls don’t cum first,” You say flatly. “Guess we stop now.” You slowly pull out before her hand reaches for yours, stopping your exit. 

“No no no,” Rosie whines, vigorously shaking her head. “I’m sorry, you just feel too good.”

“Selfish,” You click your tongue, shaking your head. 

“Baby please,” Rosie begs. She squeezes her inner walls on what’s remaining inside her, a dangerous trick she learned quickly, that has you groaning, slipping your length back inside. “Oh shit,” She moans at being filled.

“Fuck fine,” You relent, but you had other plans for her. You stand upright. You reach for her long blonde hair, tugging with enough force to pull her back against your chest. “But I’m fucking your pussy. This,” You snap your hips against hers, “Is mine. Right?”

Eyes widening, Rosie nods enthusiastically, “Yes baby yes.” 

“Mine?” You snap your hips again, watching her breasts bounce. 

“Yes,” She moans. 

“Say it.” 

Her hand turns your head towards her, bringing you in for a lustful kiss, tongues dancing as she moans, yours, into your mouth. 

You suddenly drop the grip on her hair, her body falling onto the bed, taking you with her. You fall on top of her prone form and start hammering into her pussy. 

You hope her screaming doesn’t get you a noise complaint, but if it does, you don’t give a flying fuck. Especially with the pressure her pussy is, squeezing your cock for all you have. 

“Fuck you’re so good,” Rosie bites into her lip, eyes rolling back as she grips the sheets, crumpling in her hand. “So fucking good,” She repeats in between moans.

“You’re being good for me,” Her pussy tightens at the praise. “Keep being good for me.”

Your hands grip her ass, drilling your cock into her, and something snaps inside of you when she screams. 

“Fuck this pussy’s mine,” You groan against her tangled hair. 

“Yours, yours, yours—oh fuck,” Rosie chants, eyes shooting open as her orgasm surprises you both. 

You feel your cock get pushed out as Rosie begins to squirt against your body, and she fucking gushes.

You’ve never made a girl squirt before, and Rosie has never had such a bodily reaction. You feel a streak of possessiveness rolls through your body. You shove your cock through her wetness, and you feel another rush of liquid as you wildly thrust in and out of her body.

“Fuck Chaeng,” You moan, your mind screaming mine mine, as your orgasm hits, shooting your load deep inside her. It must’ve triggered another orgasm because her pussy tightens again, knocking the air from your lungs, as your hips stutter erratically. 

“Jesus fuck,” Rosie pants from underneath you, her body still quivering from her orgasm. Your chest heaves, hands slipping underneath her waist to hold her tightly. “That was…I don’t even know.”

“Yeah,” You grunt, kissing her hair before gently pulling your cock out. You don’t know either because you’ve taken Rosie roughly before, but never like this. She lets out a quiet moan, sighing, as you glance down to the mess between you. Quite a mess indeed. 

Your body collapses next to Rosie as exhaustion takes over, but she quickly snuggles into you, wrapping an arm over your back. 

“Are you okay?” Rosie mumbles into your ear, chin resting on your shoulder. 

“Are you?” You turn your head to face her. The guilt washing in after you realize how hard you were on her. 

“Well I know for a fact I’ll be sore tomorrow, but I’m great,” Rosie kisses your skin, mumbling out, “But seriously, are you okay?” 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” You ask quietly. 

Rosie stares at you, peeking her head over to search for an answer you’re scared she’ll find. She looks beautiful, and you’d love to tell her, but with the way she’s looking at you, something else might slip out. 

“You called me mine,” Rosie says softly, bringing her fingers to comb through your hair. 

“Sorry,” You bury your face into your pillow, embarrassed. “Heat of the moment,” You lie, knowing damn well it wasn’t. 

“Don’t be shy,” Rosie scratches your head. “It was cute,” Giggling softly before adding, “Being yours sounds nice.”

--

You’re at a bar with a few of your friends—Jennie and Lisa included. It’s a normal night out with your friends to celebrate making it another week. You couldn’t really enjoy it like you normally would because you’ve been checking your phone every couple minutes, waiting for a message you know is coming your way. 

“Oppa, pay attention to us,” Lisa whines next to you as Jennie chuckles on her lap. 

“If you want to have a threesome, just ask,” That comment earns you a hard smack on the arm from Jennie, huffing in her now-girlfriend’s lap. 

“Oh fuck off,” Jennie spits out, muttering to Lisa about how much of an asshole you are and why she ever slept with you. 

You check your phone for any notifications and your heart drops when you see one from Rosie. You casually glance to make sure neither of the girls are peering over your shoulder, while you hear them talking to Ryujin on their other side. 

You take a breath, tapping the screen to read the message. 

Soohyun asked me to be his girlfriend. 

You already knew it was coming, so why did it still hurt?

You lock your phone, shaking your head, as you try to process your emotions. 

The time you’ve been spending with Rosie is over, and you couldn’t help but feel sad over it. It feels like when you and Nayeon broke up, but a thousand times worse. It’s not like you two were actually a couple, mere fuck buddies that spent hours together watching shows, eating out with, and a lot of other things in between. 

But then why does it feel like it was more than a fuck? 

You were aware that you were growing attached to Rosie, but you feigned it off that it was just because of how much you saw each other. She became part of your routine, that you couldn’t remember the time when she wasn’t. 

Your attachment clearly was more because you developed feelings, actual feelings that weren’t revolving around lust. So yeah, you like Rosie, hell, you may even be in love with her at this point, but you lost your shot. 

And there probably won’t ever be another. 

You groan, slamming your hand on the table loud enough that it jolts the girls next to you. 

“Oppa, what the fuck?” Jennie asks, concerned with your sudden outburst. 

“I gotta go,” Your voice cracks, walking away before you break down completely.

“Wait!” Lisa yells after you, spurring you to move quicker through the crowd. 

You turn your head before you exit, but you can’t pinpoint their face in the sea of people. You let out a sigh of relief, knowing you lost them, before the thought of Rosie seeps back into your mind. 

You need something—anything—to get your thoughts and feelings off of her. An idea quickly comes to you, one that you regret having, but it’s your only option. 

You pull your phone out, scrolling through your contact list before hitting call. 

The line rings once before a concerned voice answers. 

“Book me a flight to Osaka.”

--

--

It’s been two weeks since you received a message that shattered you. 

It’s also been two weeks since you left for Osaka abruptly, deciding to join your parents to meet with the Nakamuras for another business formality. 

Your parents were surprised that you wanted to join, especially since the last discussion you had with your father had your mother having to step in between before either of you slammed the other into the wall. Your father was excited the moment you showed up at your childhood home straight after the club while your mother looked concerned. She asked if everything was alright, but you brushed her off, not wanting to get into it with her. 

Regardless, they were still happy you joined them. Your father more so as he made the off comment that it would be good to spend some time with Kazuha. 

Which you did, and with Satoshi. 

You gave Kazuha the heads up that you’d be arriving with your parents. She was another person surprised, but she welcomed you nonetheless. You also met her boyfriend, who you quickly became close to, much to Kazuha’s dismay. She’d tell anyone that she was the third wheel by how much you and Satoshi spoke. 

It was only meant to be a weeklong trip, but Kazuha and Satoshi invited you to stay for their school break, to visit Tokyo and Hiroshima. You jumped at the opportunity. Anything that kept you away from seeing Rosie and Soohyun holding hands on campus was what you wanted. 

Satoshi brought his younger sister along too, Kasumi. You thought she was a bit of a hothead, but she was pretty and you were in another country trying to get over someone. 

When it came down to actually hooking up, you couldn’t. Your body physically shut down from anything you two alluded to. Making out had no effect on you. Her rubbing her hand over your crotch felt nice, but not enough for you to get hard. You felt bad, but you explained that you just couldn’t because you weren’t in the right headspace for it. You were so caught up in your feelings with Rosie that you couldn’t perform, no matter how much Kasumi was interested. 

She understood, chuckling because she figured there was someone else, but she thought you were cute so she wanted to at least try. There weren’t any hard feelings, leaving Japan with two great friends. And Kazuha too, you guess. 

You hear your mother call your name out from across the aisle, motioning for you to sit next to her as the plane starts its descent. 

“How are you doing?” Your mother asks once you buckle your seatbelt. 

“I’m fine,” An automated response whenever either of your parents ask, but the difference between them is that your mother has a tendency to prod. 

“How was Tokyo?” 

“It was fun. Kazuha and Satoshi took me around,” You answer vaguely, knowing that if you shared actual details about what you did, she would have a heart attack. 

“That’s great,” Your mother nods, smiling. “How’s Chaeyoung?” 

You freeze. You knew your mothers spoke often, but she had rarely ever asked you about her. 

“I saw Alice a few weeks ago as I was coming home. She mentioned you and Chaeyoung had been spending some time together,” Your mother continues, noticing your sudden apprehension. 

Oh. 

That’s news to you because you didn’t think Rosie mentioned you to Alice of all people. The siblings were close, like really close, so if she talked about you, it probably meant something. But you were trying to get over her, and thinking about what it could mean would drive you crazy. 

“Oh, uh, Rosie’s doing well. I think she’s going abroad for her internship this summer, she just has to decide where she wants to go,” You say. Rosie had been bouncing ideas off you since she heard back. You were there when she received a couple emails, watching her shock and excitement paint her face. She nearly ripped your clothes off when she got accepted into the one she really wanted. 

“Fashion right? Chaeyoung always had an eye for that,” Your mother answers pensively. 

You’re inclined to say something else, but another question is thrown your way before you could. 

“Are you two dating?” 

“Mother,” You roll your eyes. 

“That’s not a no,” She quips, chuckling at your expense. “It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me. You’ve always been fond of her ever since you were kids. We, her mother and I, have talked about it before.”

“What’re you even talking about?” You sigh, shaking your head. This conversation has taken a turn for the worse. You thought your mother wanted you to marry Kazuha, but apparently, she has been talking to Rosie’s mother about you two for years. 

“You don’t remember? You used to come home frustrated with Rosie, whining and grumbling about why she wouldn’t talk to you,” Her words unlock a box you kept hidden away. “It wasn’t until you hit high school where you pretty much gave up trying to be her friend. Even at that point, Rosie would talk to you, or maybe more antagonize you is a better description. You were beaming after those weekly dinners with the Parks.”

You didn’t comment as thoughts and feelings rushed to the surface. 

“Regardless, we thought you two would date at some point,” Your mother shrugged as if what she just said had no impact on you. 

Your mother doesn’t say anything else, opening one of her latest novels, signaling that the conversation is over. 

It really didn’t matter how you felt before, but then why does it feel like it’s making it a hundred times harder to get over her? 

--

You drop your duffel bag on the floor, kicking the door shut, as you’re finally home after two weeks. You plop your body on the couch, yawning from the flight. You have to go to campus tomorrow, which you weren’t entirely excited about. The chances of you seeing her were high, but you didn’t know what she was going to do. 

You’ve been avoiding all messages she sent you, which were a lot. She called you too, leaving a few voicemails that you couldn’t bring yourself to listen to. Kazuha caught you staring at your phone one night and made you promise not to open any messages that could derail your trip. It didn’t help Satoshi agreed, saying that it would be like a reset. 

You decide that now was the time to check them. 

Where are you? 

Can you answer the phone? 

I’m coming over. 

I’m outside, can you open the door? 

Fuck it, I know your code. 

Where the hell are you? 

Did you go to Osaka?

All those messages were from the day after Soohyun asked her to be his girlfriend. You saw she texted you everyday for a week asking if you could call her, but her last message broke you. 

I can only assume you went to Osaka. I hope everything’s okay. 

It takes everything in you to not reply now. If you do, you’d just be an asshole to her for no contact for two weeks. You’re an asshole either way, but it would rub salt in the wound. 

You check your other messages and see a few from Jennie, who rightfully curses you out for being a dick and to just respond so Rosie knows you're alive. Lisa sent one too, asking you where you are, but no threats. Jisoo’s message made you chuckle, a simple reply to her or else, was clear enough.

You sigh, locking your phone and tossing it on the coffee table. 

You’ll deal with everything tomorrow. 

--

The first person that approaches you on campus is Jennie. She shoves you, letting her when you know you could overpower her. 

“You’re a fucking ass,” Jennie pushes you again, enough force to lose your balance. 

“What did I do?” You stupidly ask, avoiding her piercing gaze. 

“You know what the hell you did, you better fucking talk to her,” Jennie says firmly, poking your shoulder. 

“If I see her,” You mumble, rubbing the spot. 

“You better,” You wait for her to say more, but the sound of her walking away brings your gaze to her retreating figure. 

Sighing as this isn’t how you want to start your day, you decide to be early for class.

The universe doesn’t even want you to be early because Nayeon stops you along the way.

“Hey I need a favor,” Nayeon asks, standing in front of you. 

“What?” You didn’t mean to sound irritated, but blame Jennie.

“Can you do this photoshoot for Mina and Sana? Their original photographer flaked, and they’re out of options,” Nayeon explains and you know she’s telling the truth. 

“Why me?” 

“I suggested you. I remember you taking photographs,” Nayeon smiles softly. “It’s a project that’s worth half their grade and their professor wants quality pictures.”

“What class is it for?” You prod, adding, “I’ve never done a modeling kind of shoot.”

“Their visual concepts class, I think. I don’t know. All I know is that they texted the group chat, stressing out,” Nayeon explains, shrugging since she was a film major. 

“Fine,” Nayeon claps happily, “Are you going to be there?” You had to ask, needing the time to mentally prepare yourself to spend, most likely, the whole day with her. 

“What? No,” Nayeon shakes her head. “I’ll be in Busan this weekend. Why did you want to hang out with me?” She wiggles her eyebrows. 

“Absolutely not,” You say firmly and her shoulders drop. 

“Fine whatever,” Nayeon huffs, hiking her bag on her shoulder. “Anyways, I’ll text you the details about it later. It’s tomorrow. I don’t think you need to bring anything, but bring your camera stuff just in case.” 

You nod, thinking about your schedule for tomorrow, which thankfully nothing was planned. 

“Oh,” Nayeon turns her head, adding one last detail before walking away, “Chaeyoung will be there too. She’s styling them.” 

Nayeon doesn’t wait for you to reply, leaving you speechless and even more irritated. 

Fucker. 

--

--

“Let’s take a break,” You announce after checking the shots you just took, satisfied with the outcome. “Fifteen?”

“Oh thank god,” Sana sinks to the ground as Mina chuckles next to her. “If we weren’t desperate, I wouldn’t have said yes.”

“Be thankful I care about this, or your project would be shit,” You answer, flicking through the pictures and thinking of how to change the lighting. 

“Thanks again for doing this, oppa,” Mina squeezes your arm before walking off to sit with Momo. 

You grumble a reply, turning without even thinking, and you accidentally bump into someone. 

“Shit sorry,” You look up to see Rosie five seconds away from losing the grip on the clothes she’s carrying. You immediately drop the camera against your chest, reaching for the items and taking it out of her hands. 

“It’s fine,” Rosie grabs the clothes back without another word, walking towards Mina. 

You sigh, shaking your head, trying not to lose focus on why you’re here. 

When you arrived this morning at one of the parks at the Han River, most of the crew was already present, setting up. You greeted everyone before seeing Rosie with Dahyun, discussing the outfits and concepts. 

“Hey good morning,” You greeted softly as you stood in front of them. 

Dahyun gave you a bright smile while Rosie forced hers, the smile not quite reaching her eyes. 

“Morning oppa!” Dahyun was as cheerful as ever at eight in the morning on a Saturday. “You could use the school’s equipment if you want,” She nods towards the table with the camera and lenses, “But feel free to use yours, whichever you feel comfortable with.” 

Another woman walked up to Dahyun, asking her to come with her to make sure they were correctly set up. Dahyun excused herself, leaving you alone with Rosie. 

“Chaeng—”

“Now you want to talk?” Rosie’s words cut sharply. “I don’t have anything to say to you right now, can we just get through today?” 

“Okay,” Was all you could say, nodding. You knew she had a lot to say, but neither of you could exactly hash it out with all these people around. 

“Okay,” Rosie nodded, grabbing whatever was near her, and walked away. 

Once Sana and Mina arrived, you quickly switched gears. You pushed whatever thoughts and feelings you had for Rosie aside, and went straight into work mode. 

You had zero experience taking photographs like this. Sure you’ve taken photos of your friends, and Nayeon would force you to take pictures of her whenever you went out. The last person you took a photo of was Rosie when you walked through the streets of Myeongdong a few weeks back. 

That was about as close as you got to taking pictures of people, but working like this was exhilarating.

You and Rosie worked well together too. It made you a lot more comfortable with directing with how seamlessly it went. You asked her opinion on what lighting should be used and she gave feedback that had the shots coming out great. Other than suggestions, your conversations had been minimal.

“You know,” Sana joins you in the empty seat next to you as you sift through the photos on the laptop, “You’re an asshole right?” 

“Okay what the fuck,” You break your attention away from the screen to a smirk on Sana’s face. 

“Chaeyoung-ah talks to us, and she sort of filled us in about this guy, who wasn’t Soohyun, that she had been seeing,” Sana sinks into the chair, glancing at the picture of her and Mina on the screen. “It wasn’t really hard to put two and two together about who she was referring to, and Nayeon confirmed something was going on between you.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” You brush the woman off, rolling your eyes as you delete one of the blurry shots. 

“Sure you don’t,” Sana chuckles, “But regardless of whatever was going on between you two, you should know—if you don’t already—Rosie didn’t say yes to Soohyun when he asked her out.”

You don’t let her words faze you as you continue to delete shots you don’t deem worthy. 

“One could only wonder right?” Sana goes on, oblivious to your inner turmoil. “Soohyun’s a good-looking guy, nice enough, and spent a fair amount of time courting her, just for him to be rejected.”

“What are you getting at Sana?” You stop what you were doing, turning to face her. 

“Just wanted to figure out why Rosie said no,” Sana shrugs as Dahyun passes by, informing her that it’s time for the next outfit change. “Anyways, Rosie wouldn’t say, but it’s obvious why.”

“And why is that?” You take the bait, preparing yourself for whatever’s going to come out of Sana’s mouth next. 

“Because of you,” Sana stands, letting out a small yawn. “Anyways, let’s get this over with. I’m ready to drink. Don’t be a dick.” 

You aren’t sure if Sana was referring to herself or to Rosie, and you couldn’t ask since she left to go change into the next outfit. 

--

The rest of the photo shoot goes without a hitch. You tried your best to not let the conversation with Sana bleed into your work, and you hoped no one noticed. It was slightly harder than it was already to work with Rosie, but you maintained some sense of professionalism. 

There was a minor issue with the zipper breaking on Sana’s dress, but Rosie was quick to fix the problem by throwing a blazer over her. Other than that, everything went well. You thanked everyone for their help today, realizing it was a long day, which everyone was happy to hit the bar once everything was packed up. 

You offered to edit the pictures for them, since you didn’t exactly want to go out. Mina said you didn’t have to, but you were adamant about it. Sana shrugged, indifferent if you joined or not. 

You see Rosie talking to Momo and swallow your pride as you make your way to them. 

“Come on Chaeng,” You catch Momo say as you get closer. “It’ll be fun!” 

“I don’t think so Momo,” Rosie shakes her head. “I just want to stay in tonight.”

“One drink?” Momo begs as you stand next to the women. 

“Sorry Momo,” Rosie smiles, eyes falling on you before her smile slowly fades. 

“Oppa, convince her to go,” Momo pouts. 

“I’m with her on this one Momo,” She frowns, shaking her head, muttering something in Japanese that makes you laugh. “I understand, you know that right?” 

Momo’s eyes widened, cheeks starting to turn red before walking away. 

Once Momo’s a good distance away, you turn to Rosie, a sad smile forming on your face as she looks everywhere but at you. 

“Can we talk?” You ask quietly. 

“So talk,” Rosie crosses her arms. 

“Like in private? Please.”

Rosie relents, sighing. “Let’s just finish with cleaning up and we can go for a walk okay?” 

“Okay,” You nod, grateful that she’s giving you the time of day. 

You have to be honest with her, and if she rejects you completely, at least you can say you tried. 

—

Rosie shivers next to you, the chill of the sunset creeping in. You shrug your coat off, wrapping it around her shoulders. 

“Thanks,” Rosie mumbles out as you continue walking along the river. 

There are a few people out as well, mostly couples huddled together. It almost makes you want to wrap an arm around her to keep her warm. You won’t though because it’s awkward. 

Rosie walks into the convenience store without saying anything, which you follow her into. She grabs an instant coffee before turning to you, asking if you wanted anything. You shake your head, even though the bottle of soju behind the glass screams your name. 

When she goes to pay, you quickly swipe your card before she could say no. She scoffs, shaking her head, as she walks out. You follow her, keeping a small distance as you watch her take small sips with every step. She stops, leaning on the railing, and stares out to the river. 

Naturally you join her, letting the background noise fill the silence. 

After a few minutes, Rosie says, “You wanted to talk, so go ahead.” 

“First off, I’m sorry,” You say quietly. You apologize for not replying, and most likely worrying her. You explain that going to Osaka was an impulsive choice, but that doesn’t excuse your behavior. 

“Well why? Did I do something?” Rosie turns to face you, lip quivering. You notice her eyes suddenly glossy, and it pangs you to see her like this. 

“No, no,” You shake your head firmly, closing your eyes as you choose your next words carefully. “When I got that text about Soohyun, I finally accepted something.” 

“What?” 

You slowly open your eyes, staring at her features, completely enamored by her. Like you always have been. 

“I’m in love with you,” You admit for the first time out loud, and you’re happy it’s to her. 

Rosie’s eyes widen, gaze looking away as her whole body shifts to face the water again. 

“You’re an asshole, you know that right?” Rosie says quietly. “And an idiot.” She adds, huffing. 

Not the response you were expecting, but before you could ask what she means, she tells you anyway. 

“I’ve spent mostly every day with you for the past month, then we have a really intense night of sex where you fucking claimed me,” You wince at her words, “Then you just leave for two weeks without any contact to come back and say you’re in love with me because of a text of someone asking me out?” 

“Well when you put—”

“I’m not finished,” Rosie huffs, facing you once again. “I’m in love with you, too dumbass. After that last night, I realized that as much as you piss me off, as much as you’re so fucking stubborn, that the idea of being yours felt real. I couldn’t say yes to Soohyun when I unknowingly said yes to you.” 

“You want to be with me?” You stare at her, dumbfounded. 

“If that wasn’t clear enough, yes,” Rosie rolls her eyes. “We’ve basically already been dating, so if you’d just stop running away after and just talk to—whoa,” She gasps when your arm snakes around her waist, pulling her into you, tilting her head up. 

“Say it,” You ghost your lips against hers, moving as she misses. 

“See, stubborn,” There’s a sharp inhale when you kiss her sweetly. 

“Say it,” You mumble, dipping your tongue in as she lets out a moan. 

“Yours,” Rosie wraps her arms around your neck, melting into you as the kiss deepens. 

“I love you,” You detach your lips, resting your forehead against hers. 

“I love you too,” Tracing her fingers along your neck, “Even though you’ve been a jerk these past two weeks. How are you going to make it up to me?” 

“I can think of a few ways.”

--

--

Rosie slams the door behind you, wincing at the frames rattling against the wall. She kicks her shoes off aggressively, barely sparing you a glance as she walks to your room. That door also slams. 

She’s pissed. 

Maybe it was your fault. Okay so it was your fault, but you didn’t mean for it to happen. 

You met up with a few of your friends to celebrate the end of exams and the school year. It was also a small farewell to you and Rosie as you were going to Paris together for the summer. Rosie took the internship at YSL and she was able to get you one too after she sneakily sent over the portfolio from the project. 

Your parents didn’t mind, figuring it would be good for you to take this time before you graduate into the real world. They were supportive that if you decided to do it for real, they’d be more than okay with it. That surprised you, but you couldn’t complain. Though the teasing from your mother was enough. 

You were at the bar, waiting to get your order when Ryujin sat in your lap. You couldn’t do anything as her weight pressed you down. 

“What the hell Ryujin?” You try to get her off you. 

“Oppa, come on. When are you going to ditch Chaeyoung and get back to bed with me?” Ryujin grounds her hips over your crotch, stealing a moan from you as the movement catches you off guard. 

“I’m not going to,” You grit out as she repeats the movement. 

“What the fuck?” You hear Rosie’s voice behind you, gathering the strength to push the woman off your lap. 

“I can explain!” You turn to face her, hands up. 

“Come on Chaeyoung, share him,” Ryujin trails a finger up your chest. “I miss him.” 

“Oh you fucking—” You step out of Ryujin’s hold, lungeing for your girlfriend before she mauls the other woman. 

“Let’s go,” You nearly carry Rosie out as she squirms against your hold. A few people stare as you walk by, but she was about five seconds away from causing a bigger scene, that you couldn’t care less. 

Once you got outside, Rosie ripped into you. She called you every name in the book for doing that. When you explained that you were pushing her off, she called you an idiot for even allowing it. You had no response, knowing it was a lost cause. 

Officially dating Rosie for the past few months, you learned a lot, especially the type of girlfriend she was. She’s more affectionate, tender, soft when it’s just you or with her closest friends. She does a lot for you without even realizing you need help. She acts indifferent to the public about things, but tells you how she feels and what she thinks in private. She shows you in more ways than one just how much she loves you. 

But she’s still the same too. 

She still argues with you over anything and everything. She mouths off whenever she doesn’t get her way (you give in anyways). She relentlessly teases you any chance she gets. 

She’s also very possessive of you. She hates when any girls glance your way. She especially despises any of your past flings (except Jennie) as they boldly ask you to hook up with her right there. She can’t stand it when you say she’s jealous because she’s not. But her use of mine is repeated multiple times as she fucks you to remind you who you belonged to, like you could forget. 

She’s still the biggest pain in your ass, but you love her anyway. 

You open your room door, surprised to see Rosie already changed for bed. She’s adorable dressed in your clothes, the size just a tad too big on her body. You quietly close the door, ignoring her movements as you grab clothes from the dresser. 

When you join her in bed, sliding under the covers, you lay on your side, staring at her scroll through her phone. 

“Chaeng,” You pout as she continues scrolling. “Come on, you know I didn’t do anything.” 

“Why’d you let her sit on your lap then?” Rosie says sarcastically. 

“I didn’t. She just sat there,” You reason, rolling your eyes at her pettiness. 

“Cause you just keep your lap available for anyone to sit on?” 

“Jesus christ, you know I don’t. You’re acting like a brat,” You huff, rolling onto your back. 

“I’m acting like a brat?” Rosie raises her voice, her phone tossed on the nightstand. She hovers over you, eyes narrowing, “I’m not the one letting girls openly sit on my lap when I’m clearly in a relationship.”

“Believe me, everyone knows that I am,” You glare, deciding right then and there you’re going to taunt her. “Not my fault my dick’s just that good they miss me.” 

“You’re fucking unbelievable,” Rosie scoffs, “It’s not even that good.” 

“What do you have to compare it to? You’ve only slept with me and clearly aren’t going after anyone else’s dick,” It’s a low blow, but she’s starting to piss you off. 

In a flurry of movements, Rosie swings her leg over you, cupping your chin rather aggressively before whispering, “Did you want me to? I’m sure there’s still a line of guys dying to get inside of me.”

Your temper flares, hands gripping her waist before flipping her over. 

Now if Rosie’s possessive of you, naturally you’re possessive of her. Probably worse. 

You find your hands underneath your shirt, and she shivers at your touch. 

“Is that a no?” Rosie moans when you pinch her nipples. 

You remove your hands, reaching for the hem of your shirt before throwing it somewhere off to the side. You rip the shirt off her body before slotting yourself in between her legs, pressing most of your weight on top of her. 

“I guess I have to ask,” You start peppering her jaw with kisses, “Do you want to be disappointed?” 

Rosie moans as you gently suck on her sweet spot, smirking against her skin as her hips roll against your crotch. Your cock twitches, but you don’t let your control slip that easily. 

“How-how would I be disappointed?” Rosie tilts her head back, granting you more access as you continue leaving marks along her neck. 

“You’d be comparing them to me,” You thrust against her, just so she could feel what she’s doing to you. 

“Doubtful,” Rosie’s hand slips underneath your waistband, taking hold of your cock as she strokes you. 

“I know you would,” You whisper against her ear, “You wouldn’t cum, I know that for sure.”

“What makes you so confident?” Her grip tightens, a groan falling from your lips. 

“Maybe cause you’re mine,” You nip at her ear, grounding your hips against hers. Her legs wrap around your waist, an all too familiar move that has you rutting into her, mimicking exactly what you were going to do to her. 

“Yours?” 

“Mine,” You tear the shirt over her head, whimpering at her hand leaving you. You tug her shorts down to see her bare pussy, wet and glistening under the low light of your room. You salivate, but tuck those thoughts away for later because you need to get inside her more than anything right now. 

“Better remind me,” Rosie sighs, breath stuttering, as she stares at the obvious bulge in between her legs. “I could probably walk outside and someone would wanna fuck me.”

Your control snaps, shoving your sweats to free your cock. You miss the gasp falling from her lips, but you hone in as you aim your cock at her entrance. 

“Absolutely not,” You snap your hips forward, giving her no time to adjust to the ruthless pace you set on her body. “Only I could do this.”

You spread her legs wider, watching her eyes roll back. Her hips meet every thrust, taking you just like she knows how to. Her long drawn out moans quickly turn into high pitched screams that ring in your ears. 

“Baby,” Rosie brings one hand in between her legs, furiously rubbing her clit as her walls clamp onto your length. “You fuck me so—fuck.” 

Your earlier irritation bleeds away, suddenly feeling the need to make sure Rosie doesn’t forget exactly who makes her feel this good. 

You fill her to the hilt, groaning into the crook of her neck as her pussy contracts around your cock. 

“Baby,” Rosie pants, chest heaving against yours as she tries to move. Your hips have her pinned against the bed, so it’s futile as she writhes underneath you. “Don’t stop, please.” She breathes out, her hand still moving in between you, creating a delicious friction. 

You want her to beg, but with the way she’s squeezing your cock like her life depended on it has you giving in 

“Tell me.”

“Yours-please, please,” Rosie shakes her head, the pressure in between her legs growing. 

“Mine?” You draw your hips back, leaving the head of your cock in. 

“Fuck, yours,” Rosie screams when you slam into her body, hooking her legs over your shoulders as you resume fucking her with everything you’ve got. 

You’re usually not this rough, but a more primal, baser, need takes over. She yelled at you for something that was completely out of your control. Could you have handled it differently? Sure, but she could have handled it differently too. 

You’ve spent enough time with Rosie to know she acts like this to rile you up. You honestly have no problem putting her in her place, especially if it’s in between her legs. 

Rosie’s orgasm rips through her body, back arching suddenly as her hands hold you close. Her nails dig into your skin, nails scratching down your back, which you know will leave marks. 

“Again,” You command, fucking her thoroughly as her pussy spasms around your cock. 

Rosie’s mouth opens, but no sound comes out as her lips form a perfect ‘O’ before a gush of wetness drenches you. 

You pull out quickly, deciding that she doesn’t get to feel you cum inside her—at least right now. It takes you no more than four pumps of your cock before you explode over her body. You aim in between her lower lips, making a bigger mess of her as your mind shuts off. 

You’re both gasping for air, but your eyes fixate on the rise and fall of Rosie’s chest. Moving on impulse alone, you lower yourself, peppering her chest with your lips. One hand lazily drapes over your neck, scratching softly as quiet moans leave her body. 

“Okay,” Rosie mumbles after a couple minutes, gently tugging you off. “You made your point. I don’t want anyone else to fuck me.”

“Good,” You roll off of her, but quickly pull her body into yours. 

“No one else can fuck you either,” Rosie musters out as threatening as possible. It falls short because she’s still trying to catch her breath, exhausted. 

“I know,” You kiss her temple. “Only want you anyways.” 

“Good,” She snuggles into your side, slotting a leg in between yours. 

You offer to clean up, but she pulls you tighter, telling you five more minutes. You chuckle, knowing her body well enough that she’s going to pass out. 

“Love you,” You murmur, lips on her skin again because you couldn’t get enough of her. 

“I love you,” Rosie sighs dreamily. 

You hear light snores after a minute, eyes rolling fondly. You sink into the embrace, closing your eyes as well. 

You’ll clean later, content with the woman in your arms, who will—if you had to bet—want to go again. 

--

--

--

[choso-uncertain]

Choso NSFW

Fingering, back shots, cumming, squirting, drooling, crazy sex, deep love making, voyeurism, binding, unhinged Choso, candles, wax play, blood manipulation, relentless sex, head (Blowjobs), car sex, pool sex, and phone sex, Cunnilingus.

Daddy Choso; would finger you until you cry, he wouldn't stop even after you came or squirted on the bed. when you tried to run, he would grab you by your hips and rub your clit furiously making your legs go jelly.

Daddy Choso; Dick you down until you're shaking and begging him to stop. He wouldn't listen, instead he'd grab your hair and push you back into an arch that would leave you sore for a couple of days. He enjoyed the noises you made, and how you drooled out your mouth and down your neck.

Daddy Choso; put your legs behind your head and kiss you while pounding you like a slut. Legs would feel like jelly and you'd try to put them down. but, his grip was a vice, and he would grab them, forcing them back up with a groan, "Don't put them down unless I ask! You got that shit? Huh!? Say yes daddy! Don't fucking stare at me like that. you know I love that; makes me want to fuck you harder."

Daddy Choso; hold your head down while you give him head in the front seat of his car. He wouldn't stop until you were gagging and he could feel your throat opening and closing around his dick. Even then, he wouldn't let up until you were clawing with freshly done nails and trying to pick your head up. His calloused vein filled hand held onto your hair. "No, not until I feel you deserve to breathe.", he would say. But, when your fight got weak, he would let you up and smile at your slutted out face.

Daddy Choso; Ate your pussy like it was a meal. Before and after a long day. He'd wake you up with his head under the sheets and his tongue deep in your folds, licking away at you like a melting ice cream cone. You'd be gripping the sheets and panting out of breath. He'd use his free hands to rub and squeeze your breasts. you'd wake up almost cumming and out of breath.

Daddy Choso; His dick print was always evident when he came near you or even in front of you. He'd walk in front of you while you were watching TV and would stand there, no matter how much you tried to move or maneuver around him. He would step in front of you each and every time. when he got tired of you ignoring him, he'd step closer to you and grab your head, rubbing it against his boxers. you found it cute and funny, you'd ask what he wanted and he'd tell you, "I wanna fuck on the balcony."

Daddy Choso; As soon as he lights the candles on the balcony and has the mood right, he'd bend you over the couch and watch over the balcony at the wonderful view with your moans fueling his background. You would try to stuff your face into the pillows that were there, but it would make him angry. He would turn you on your back and spread your legs wide, forcing you to look at him. He'd be covered in sweat, looking down at you with bedroom eyes. When you felt yourself about to cum, he started pounding you until the couch began to move back and forth against the rails. He didn't care about the neighboring balconies catching the show, he cared about you and your eyes rolling back like bowling balls and you cumming like a maniac.

Daddy Choso; Binding you with blood manipulation and holding you up by your wrists while he gave you a relentless pounding against the bedroom walls. The neighbors banged and yelled, but your moaning and screaming were getting to his head, and he honestly liked it.

Daddy Choso; who would watch you crawl on your hands and knees back up the stairs, where he laid you before asking you in a deep voice, "Where you going baby~ C'mere, no I'm not done. C'mere~", dragging you by your legs and pushing them up into doggy style. "Come on mama, you got time."

Daddy Choso; while your cooking, wouldn't stop putting his hands on your body, rubbing it, kissing it, getting close to it at any chance he could. He would make sure you were in loose clothing that he could pull off. But, you always wore nightgowns and muumuu's (For my black girlies)

Daddy Choso; held both of your hands in either of his hands while he kissed you passionately and pushed himself inside you gradually speeding up and sloppily kissing you as he went. When he got to the peak, you were begging and praying and screaming words that he couldn't understand. He started biting at your lips, while you were trying to pull your hands out of his.

Daddy Choso; held you down by your neck, occasionally tightening his grip while he pounded you under the sheets. "Daddy~ pl-please~", but he didn't listen, "No, no, you don't make rules girl~ don't start that. you can breathe baby." watching you shift and let out breathy moans.

Daddy Choso; Scratching his back while he punched your G-spot like a maniac. He was groaning and morning into your neck, biting to keep his loud groans down. But, the way you scratched his back had him weak. He was dragging his nails against the wall while he pounded into you like a crazy man. Hearing you not moan, not scream, but lose your absolute mind while he was inside of you, was heaven. his sat up to where he was over your body, eyes half lidded and groaning, rolling his shoulders while his nails dig into the paint of your walls. Your legs where jolting like crazy, screaming words that just made him wanna fuck you inhumanly harder.

Daddy Choso; who would quietly but lazily, finger you while you laid on your stomach with your legs apart, back arched and his fingers deep in you. the pool was opened to the public, but no one came by and you had your umbrella pointed in a way that concealed you.

Daddy Choso; who after a good hour of making you see God, would run you a nice warm shower with Dr.Teals bath salts and when you got in, he'd rub you down from top to bottom, making sure to rub and massage your aching thighs that he brutally abused and gave you kisses, praising you for how good you were to him and how you let him abuse and harass your body constantly.

Daddy choso; who'd wrapped you up in a blanket and cuddled you, whispering in your ear while you cuddled up to him and slept quietly. choso, kissed all over your body, sweet and simple.

First time writing, please be nice to me I cry mane, if there's something or someone that you want me to write about, let me know.

[thattimdrakeguy]

I HAVE BEEN READING ZDARSKY BATMAN, AND I HAVE DECLARED: I FREAKING LOVE IT!!

I'm reading the Batman Zdarsky run in reverse. That way if I see any bull I can back out at anytime: and to be honest--besides a few things. I really enjoy it

LIKE YO, THAT IS JUST STRAIGHT UP TIM DRAKE RIGHT THERE. It knows who he is as a character. his motives, it's great.

Screw the people complaining "oh why is tim still robin :((", THIS IS WHY HE IS STILL ROBIN. Because this is when he's at his BEST. When he gets to hit his character purpose, WHEN HE GETS TO BE HIM AT HIS MOST HIM. It's FANTASTIC.

Reading in reverse because I know I hated the first story, it was so contrived and ridiculous.

But this--this is some good shit.

Tim being an underdog fighter, having to use his wits to win the fight? MY DAWG, MY DUDE, MY GUYS, MY GALS, MY THEMS, MY THEYS, THIS IS SO TIMMY DRAKE. This is so damn Tim Drake, guys. Oh, my gosh, I am loving this so far.

Dick has his temper back? And trust me, he isn't normally like this. But he's hitting a limit AND IT'S SOMETHING NEW, NOT JUST A REFERENCE. HE'S ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING HE'D DO, 'CAUSE HE'S AT HIS LIMIT. That's wonderful, man. That is so wonderful.

Plus Tim is the heart of the Bat-Family again? This feels like someone actually went back to read these characters before writing it. I'm not saying everything is perfect of course, but these high marks are exceeding all my expectations. And I STOPPED reading comics because of how the beginning of this run destroyed any hope I had.

You guys have no idea how much I'm enjoying the few issues I've read. Besides the cussing (I remember after a bit they decided Tim was someone who used funny words instead of proper cusses), this feels like the Tim I know and love during the era I especially loved him.

Tim comparing himself to his predecessors? Tim not being a natural? A WRITER REMEMBERING THAT?? It's been so long since I've seen that! Most writers treat him like he was another prodigy when he wasn't. AND THIS GUY REMEMBERED THAT!

I shouldn't be so happy at just seeing Tim do Tim things, and serving his character purpose. BUT YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE A WRITER KNEW WHAT TIM WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE.

Only complaints I have is that Jason feels like a typical Bat-Family member, and not the sketchy outsider that he is. Making him so close makes his character more bland in my opinion. And Steph is--also generic af unless she's wacky quirky...which is a characterization I hate for her, because she started off so damn interesting, but they made her a freaking trope instead, which is such a disservice to her, but she barely does anything so far, so whatever I guess. Doesn't mean much.

--

This is the first honest thing I've seen that I hated.

No

Not this

This isn't the Bat-Family

This is a sitcom world the fandom wants to be the Bat-Family and some comply with

They're not a sitcom. The conflicts, and uniqueness of the characters is what makes things feel alive and well.

This stuff is cheap fanservice for the fanon demographic that doesn't buy comics to begin with.

Fanon doesn't belong in canon.

--

I mean sure Tim could be drawn smaller, the gag of him looking 12 when he's nearly 18 doesn't work when he's bigger than Damian who is 15 (and contrary to some bullshit comics isn't meant to be small. that was a random thing added for writers who aren't clever to write better humor. it actually contradicts things that were already established).

Don't see the big deal though for most of this.

Can't wait to find it, though. Oh boy.

This whole obsession with Zur Batman, is way over done though. So--I wouldn't be shocked if that was the problem, because my golly does that plot point not seem to be stopping--and it was there from the start and part of the reason why I didn't read it 'til now.

Good Tim tho, at least. So heehee, yey for that--I think--I guess.

Oh, well.

It let me peak at a pseudo-version of an AU I made up years ago. So that's pretty freaking cool.

Always a plus.

And redoing Red Robin story beats but better? Normally I'd hate references to Red Robin, 'cause that changed the perception of so many characters for the worst, but ayy, a bit of redemption isn't bad.

Man, just seeing simple stuff like Tim and Bruce being good ol' classic Batman and Robin warms my heart. It's been so long since Batman and Robin has acted like a proper classic Batman and Robin. It's dynamic that's been sorely missed by many.

OH, MY GOSH, WHY DID THE FIRST STORY HAVE TO STINK SO BAD. THIS STUFF IS GREAT.

Like, DUDE, this is such a Tim thing for him to do!!

And he's showing emotion?? He's crying like how he does?? Because he's not a typical Bat-Family member who just angsts his way through?? THEY'RE MAKING HIM STAND-OUT AGAIN BY MAKING HIM, HIM??

WHY DID THE FIRST STORY HAVE TO SUCK SO BAD?? THIS IS GOOD SHIT.

Like this part is why I originally stopped reading, not because Bruce should think Tim is his soldier, and not his son, THE FREAKING OPPOSITE.

But because the original story has Bruce acting weird when unneeded, just to say this was so unneeded, and adding in all these stupid corny Bat-Family moments was so groan worthy.

This run started off with a story that was a total turn off for me.

To end up being a run that could've kept me enjoying DC, rather than running away from it from as far as I have.

Chip Zdarsky started off awful, but really, he ended up great.

And I've seen people complain about his run, and TRUST ME, there's stuff to complain about. But I have only ever seen the stuff worth complaining about, or stuff I WOULD complain about.

WHEN MOST OF THE RUN IS GOOD

At least when Tim is around.

Go figure.

Maybe I should've paid sole attention to how he wrote Tim and nothing else at the very least for that first story.

'Cause even in the first story, Tim was well-written--it's how cheap the rest of the story telling was in that first story that turned me off--and the weird knew about the movie plans that I am still fully judging harshly. (Love the new Superman film suit, though)

[sparkbeast20]

Do you doubt the devils affection?

I find it funny that some will doubt the devils for their affection to you and only seeing you as Solomon's descendant or a rare human.

When they have the right to ask you "You doubt us, but what about you? We devils don't doubt, but you humans do. My question is, do you know us in depth? And not just see us for our body?"

Devils in WHB, with few exception can't doubt (which are Leviathan and Orias who were experimented and done horrible things on them that yeah, they would fucking learned how to doubt and not trust others)

The way I see it, the devils are more honest with their feelings than us humans, and people mistake it as them only objectifying MC just for sex.

But there are moments with in the main story where MC ask them directly "Do like me just because I'm Solomon's descendant?" Satan said yeah, that's the starting point but in turned more than that, Mammon said it that He fell in love with us at first sight in his H scene, and Leraye told us that he wants to move on, and when the war is over. He would like to walk down the street of Gehenna, hold each others hands.

Not to mention what happens in the L card stories (Looks at Beelzebub's card stories) and see that, these devils does care for MC.

Back to Satan, he literally said to Solomon in Ch 1

What more do others want?

And with Sitri, I would have a problem if not for that fact that most of the other characters points out his Delusion. Which makes it as a running gag and a quirk with him. (Unless we will come back to that later for his development down the line)

I had to make this cause I saw this one post here on tumblr about MC's insecurities of whether or not the devils do see us more than Solomon's descendant or only goes to them for sex.

[genericpuff]

STAY OFF MY TERRITORY - Time Travel in Lore Olympus (feat. Springlock, our resident time traveller)

AH YES. TIME TRAVEL. BUILDING COFFEE TABLES FROM IKEA. BOTH A MESS, BOTH SOMETHING YOU SHOULD NEVER ATTEMPT EVEN AS A GAG.

THERE WILL BE FASTPASS SPOILERS IN THIS ANALYTICAL DISSECTION OF LORE OLYMPUS' TIME TRAVEL !!!

Let's establish the "time travel" in LO first of all - it's briefly introduced by Hecate, who says that Hades isn't in a 'where' but a 'when' , hahahaha i so love time travel jokes /s THIS ISN'T A LAUGHING MATTER-

We had already covered this in the criticisms that Kronos' 'dream comas' would have been better allocated to his time travel abilities, and it seems now Rachel is trying to make that a reality at the last possible minute. I'm going to completely tear apart that reality to present to you why it doesn't work in LO.

Aw, Kronos' time abilities are finite? Get on my level, sir.

The caveat is the existential toll that time travel takes on the jumper, and the fact that in most cases, it's impossible to perform due to paradoxes. And Lore Olympus' time travel presents a lot of paradoxes. No wonder Kronos went crazy, I'm going crazy just thinking about everything that's wrong with this.

So Hades is trapped 'somewhere' in time. This isn't something I haven't seen before, but the issue it presents is getting someone back to their present time, as it presents the first paradox -

PARADOX #1 - There are no accidents. If someone is to jump into a timeline outside of their own, even if by 'accident', that would still have to be predestined by the timeline itself. This is in line with the grandfather paradox, which I will let the almighty Google define for us all to keep things brief:

You cannot travel back in time 'by accident'. If you were to travel back in time, it would have been written into the script of reality already, so any effects caused by your jumping would be purposeful, even if they seem like 'accidents' to you - such as becoming your own grandfather, Philip J Fry.

Moving on, in the most recent FastPass episode, Melinoe reveals that she was taken from her timeline by Kronos.

PARADOX #2 - Which version of Kronos took her? Was it the present version travelling into the future to take her from her timeline into his present? Or was it some future version of Kronos who has escaped yet again at some point in the future and then travelled back into the past to interfere with the events of the current present, possibly in an attempt to rewrite the script? If it's the latter, this means that Hera and Persephone can't feasibly stop Kronos indefinitely, as to stop Kronos would mean that he wouldn't exist in the future to take Melinoe from her future timeline and thus this present timeline of events would cease to exist. If we want to get even more granular with it, 'present' Kronos is still 'past' Kronos as it's the Kronos from ten years ago who got his hands on a deity to help him mess with people's dreams, and that deity has been revealed to be Melinoe, who would have had to be ripped from some point in their future timeline. This falls in line with a temporal paradox, or as most people know it, the 'kill baby Hitler' paradox, which designates that one cannot go back in time to kill baby Hitler, as killing baby Hitler would remove all the subsequent events that would lead up to you deciding to build a time machine and go back in time to kill baby Hitler.

Melinoe claims she's only been here a few days. That would be all well and good, as time is funny like that - I've done my fair share of jumps into the distant past only to return a few minutes later - but what doesn't line up is the present timeline of events that would only work unless she's actually been trapped for longer than a few days.

PARADOX #3 - So it's only been a few days, but Hades and Persephone have known about this child trapped in Tartarus for weeks, and we know Kronos has had her since the dream diving arc back near the end of S2. So unless Kronos is simply jumping to different points in time to cause shenanigans - which leads to even MORE paradoxes as you feasibly cannot travel to your own past to change it due to it creating a different future - then it can't have only been a 'few days' for Melinoe, it would have been at least a few weeks, giving some wiggle room to the past events of her appearing before Hades in his dreams due to her being the goddess of nightmares. Kronos escaping Tartarus after using Melinoe to put people to sleep and possess them was not something that happened in a pocket dimension, it was very real and very present.

Hades commits an even bigger sin, however, and the biggest issue with this 'time travel' plotline:

PARADOX #4 - I truly hope 'home' means 'home point in her timeline' and not their literal home. Hades and Persephone cannot take Melinoe, for two reasons: they haven't had their daughter yet, and the future timeline versions of Hades and Persephone need their daughter back. If Hades and Persephone were to adopt this version of Melinoe in their present timeline, it would create a clone paradox, as they would have a duplicate Melinoe from the future, OR it would create the grandfather paradox if they opted not to try for a child knowing they already have Melinoe which would erase the whole sequence of events that led to future Melinoe's birth in the first place.

Ultimately Lore Olympus' time travel suffers from the same issue many time travel stories suffer from - not having consistent rules. It is choosing now , near the finale of the series, to introduce time travel, rather than establishing it back in Season 1 when Kronos was first hinted at. It's also still not clear in what Hades' role is in this, as him being taken to a 'when' could still be read as a dream sequence rather than actual time travel. After all, Kronos supposedly "exhausted" his time travelling powers centuries ago - surely as a way for Rachel to have her cake and cover for the fact that she's had Kronos in the series since S1 and never actually had him do what he's known for - but now she's trying to eat it too by just giving him his time travel powers again for no reason besides rewriting the dream diving finale from S2 but with ambiguous time travel instead.

It's all a huge mess and the best thing I can do for myself is simply not let it keep me up at night. I have enough time travelling problems to worry about as it is. I will be sticking to the Austin Powers method -

(I am not enjoying myself.)

[harlowsbby]

Stick With Me

lil summary, this is a fic based off Jack’s character Scalvo from The Instigators 💓

“Alright yeah, yeah I told you I’ll meet you at the docks later… alright see you soon.” You frowned as Scalvo got off the phone with Richie.

“What does he want?” Scalvo tossed his phone on the other side of the couch before looking down at you. “Well if you must know little miss nosey.” Scalvo flicked the tip of your nose lightly making you laugh.

“He wants me to meet with him tonight along Casey and some new guy I guess his name is Rory.” You rolled your eyes and shook your head at him.

“I thought you were done with Richie and Mr. Besegai I told you they don’t mean you any well and they don’t treat you right.” You quickly removed yourself from his lap and made your way into the kitchen.

“They treat you like shit babe and yet whenever they come knocking you go and answer every single time.” You spat.

Scalvo groaned but nonetheless followed after you because he hated arguing with you and he hated being the reason you were upset.

“I know baby but look I promise this will be my last job with them and I promise after this I’m done.” Scalvo wasn’t necessarily a big softy but when it came to you he was like putty in your hands.

“You said that last time Scalvo.” You snapped causing him to winch at you using his name. Usually you’d call him babe or baby but you never addressed him by his first name unless you were really upset.

You hated that Scalvo worked with Richie and Mr. Besegai you know they were trouble and treated Scalvo like he was less than. You didn’t agree with what Scalvo did for work.

On the other hand you also knew this was the only lifestyle he knew so it was hard for him to just change and cut that all off over night.

“And now you got some new guy coming into your little gang.” He chuckled at the word gang making you glare at him. “It isn’t funny babe I worry about you okay? I promised you we’re done with this shit.”

You knew he’d never be done because working for Richie and Besegai was quick and easy money something Scalvo liked. He figured what was the point of waiting two weeks for a pay check when you can get money in less than 24 hours.

He sighed and made his way around the kitchen island making his way to you. Once he was close enough he leaned his back against the counter and made grabby hands to you.

Signaling he wanted you to come to him which you did.

Your arms wrapped around his neck as you leaned forward and rested your head on his chest. His head dipped down a bit so it was resting on top of yours.

“Look babe you don’t have anything to worry about okay? I promise I’ll be safe and after this I’m done with them completely he just needs my help.” You mentally rolled your eyes because you knew this wouldn’t be the last time.

“Fine, but please call me when you’re on the way home yeah? You know I’ll miss you.”

You always had him call you after he did a mission for Richie and Besegai. You just wanted to be able to hear him and to know he was safe.

“I promise I will baby now give me a kiss.” You smiled as you reached up on your tippy toes to give Scalvo a kiss a quick peck on the lips.

You went to pull away but he wasn’t having it he quickly deepened the kiss and grabbed ahold of your ass and squeezed it tightly. “Scalvo!” You gasped making him grin.

“What? You know I love doing that now give me some more sugar.” You chuckled and leaned in again giving him another kiss which quickly got heated.

The two of you were so wrapped up into one another that you didn’t even notice Cobby walk in with a box of donuts in one hand and your iced coffee in another.

His jaw flew open and he gagged the minute he saw the two of you.

“Hey, hey come on now can you two little fuckers not fuck where we eat?! That’s fucking disgusting.” Cobby gagged. “Honestly do you have no home training?”

He immediately grabbed the Clorox wipes and started wiping the counter where the two of you were. “Relax all we did was kiss.” Scalvo stated as he shoved Cobby out the way.

“And? Take that shit upstairs.” Scalvo smirked before grabbing ahold of your hand. “Better make sure you cover your ears then.” Cobby rolled his eyes as Scalvo led you upstairs.

“I can’t stand that little piece of shit.” Cobby muttered but nonetheless made sure he was out the house the minute he heard the bedroom door shut.

(first lil fic in a minuteeeeeeee I promise ima get back to posting some Jack fics soon! I got one coming out later this month! 💓)

[a-twistedheartslonging]

also, but what would be their opinion on this kind of thing, you know, if they would like this way of showing affection or find it strange (most likely they would be greedy about it and the poor reader would have to remind them that they need to breathe)

I'm too lazy to do all the boys but...

I would think many would like how...gentle your way of affection feels. Your lips are warm and soft, they feel so nice against his own and when you gently brush them against the skin of his face.

For many of them, it turns into-

but with much bigger creatures.

So, for face kisses...

Malleus is needy and isn't ashamed of it nor will he try to hide. You once joked that the scales on his forehead were to let you know where to smooch and he takes it very seriously and even moves his bangs out of his face when around you, expecting those soft human kisses.

As for mouth kisses, he has a similar issue that the eel twins do...accidentally choking you with his long-forked tongue. He really doesn't mean to, but it doesn't help that your mouth is smaller than his and it's so easy to gag you.

Leona is also needy and clingy, won't admit it, has his own way of demanding them, and loves to have you on his lap, claws lightly digging into your hips and you pepper his face with them. His kisses get sloppy and a bit wet, especially since he'll switch from making out to just licking your face suddenly. Jack has a similar habit.

Riddle is funnily more flustered about the kisses than he is about giving your face little grooming/affection licks and little bites. It just feels more intimate to put your mouths together like that.

Idia was kind of surprised that you wanted to be anywhere near his mouth giving the sharp teeth and mandibles. He knows people find bug features... unpleasant. Unlike the beasts that will lick and try grooming you with their mouths, he uses his mandibles to help you groom. Gently brushing them against your face and using them to mess with your hair. He sort of does it uncourteously when you're cuddling and close to his face and without thinking they help hold your face in place when kissing. Kisses are already intimate but if you place little kisses on his mandibles too. Oh, he's done for.

Jack well actually whines and gets huffy if you try keeping your lips sealed when he tries giving you one of his "kisses". Hey, he's trying to show you his love and respect here! And check on your health...and make sure you ate....and...

Wolves have a few reasons for doing it, really. Can't say he's not a fan of those human kisses though. He does everything to keep his face neutral, but his tail always gives him away when he leans down to your height to receive those sweet kisses.

Now that I think about it, you probably shouldn't wear flavored chapstick unless you're cool with one of them actually trying to lick it off. Especially the ones like Floyd...and no for the record neither he nor Jade would be sorry about gagging you with their tongues and there are admittedly times when they'll do it on purpose.

They think it's funny/amusing how your little mouth and throat can't handle them, and it admittedly gives them...more thoughts. You can try biting them during but with how they are it would probably be viewed as "playing" and not hurt them like you think it would.

[thecountesstribe]

HOTD Ep 2x7 Spoilers and review.

So this was one of my favorite episodes this season and also one of the coolest imo.

Seasmoke being protective of Addam and looking proud he terrorized Addam into being his rider was too funny. I love that dragon 😂. Come through Addam the Loyal, all Rhaenyra had to say was she's queen and he immediately acknowledged her and bent the knee, I loved that. He's really about to become my other favorite boy.

Corlys being shook and acting like he doesn't know Addam, like sir if you don't tell the truth already. He's never gonna beat the deadbeat allegations. Although when he told him “Well done” I did whoop a little. I would've kicked his ass had I been Addam though.

Oscar Tully! That's it. That's the fuckin post. He gagged Daemon and stood on business. I love to see young kids bullying arrogant adults, he reminded me of the OG lil boss Lyanna Mormont. That's my lil nephew now.

Daemon didn't take the crown. We saw him hallucinating again, this time with the sick version of Viserys and Viserys holding the crown which he didn't take. I mean anybody with a brain could summarize that he never wanted the crown, we didn't need to spend so much time in his delusions in Harrenhal to tell us that. We certainly didn't need a scene of him feasting on his mom to tell us that, yuck. For all his faults he really was about his family. He went about it the wrong way but that's Daemon for you. His stupid self destructive ass.

We had an unnecessary scene of Alicent running about the woods after leaving King's Landing. Chile anyways. Larys is totally protecting Aegon now and he's essentially crippled atp. I fear for Baela's storyline.

Rhaena is looking for Sheepstealer. Her and Jeyne are still tussling but they waited until the final 2 episodes to give her something, Baela had no lines besides looking pretty and staring at Jace. I fuckin hate it here. Could we bully HBO AND THE WRITERS SOME MORE. WTF!!

Vermithor and SilverWing looked so cool. What did that old bum feed Vermithor though? He's big asf. SilverWing just might be the coolest looking dragon. I can't rank them anymore cause I like them all 😭. Literally my favorite thing about the episode. Like the directors cooked. The dragons are funny asf 😂😭😭😭. There were a lot of parentage reveals, I don't believe for a second Saera sired that ugly man but anyways. RhaeRhae led those people to their deaths. Rhaenyra deadass gave this big ass pep talk, she reminded me of Erwin before he led the scouts out on what would be their suicide mission except she didn't stay to see the outcome or participate in it. Vermithor saw an opportunity for a buffet and took it, Hugh claimed him. Fuckin cinema. Still gonna hate his bitchass but I can't lie that was badass. SilverWing was bullying Ulf. Why do people I hate always win sometimes?! Ulf literally failed upwards. Can't be mad at it. I mean if I was a dragon I would've done the same shit. How dare mediocre specimens come before me who is essentially the next best thing after the Gods!

We got Rhaenyra speaking High Valyrian. She had her dragon squad quit on her though and gave her a warning (foreshadowing). Her also being able to calm Vermithor, that's the Dragon Queen of her era y'all. We saw a little movement with her and her protective spoiled cat Syrax too 😍.

Not people hating on Jace now. Listen that argument has been brewing since season 1. He just finally let it out of his brooding body. I don't think many people understand the implications that argument meant. He sounded classist and maybe he was, highly doubt he is but he's being realistic and in the future he was proven right (unless they scrap the book canon). Rhaenyra paralleled Viserys in that entire scene. She really is her father's child in some ways. She did to Jace what Viserys essentially did to her. The one thing that could've upheld his ascension to the throne was him having a dragon and she essentially gave a free pass to anybody to do the same, the same thing was done to Rhaenyra when Viserys decided to marry Alicent and sire more children when he knew damn well that if he had a son, her claim to the throne would've been compromised. Jace knows he's a “bastard”, a legitimate one but a “bastard” ntl (I'm not calling him a bastard in a derogatory sense either, he isn't. Laenor claimed them as his sons and that's the end of it to me) , it shouldn't matter considering the throne is not passing from his father's side but his mother's. Sure his last name would've changed the minute he was named heir and ascended as stated by Viserys but what weight does that hold now? They briefly touched on it when he spoke to Baela about his fathers but he had always been insecure about his parentage. No he didn't call his mother a whore, he's been fighting that battle all his life, she just made it worse. In the dire situation they're in, the sacrifice had to be made but I could understand why he's angry and hurt over it again. She literally just made him illegitimate in the eyes of the realm. His anger is valid. Was his tone harsh yes, try dealing with the whispers and the jeers and everything else for the past 16 years of your entire life and seeing the same proof of what everybody else sees everyday and tell me that you wouldn't hold some kind of resentment towards it. I liked how Rhaenyra was patient with him though, just wished it wasn't as rushed as the scene felt.

The last shot of the episode was fuckin brilliant. Aemond turning his bitchass around knowing he can't handle that kinda pressure. Also Vhagar and Aemond's bond may not be as strong as it should be. She clearly does not listen to him sometimes. He's still responsible for Lucerys death IDC what y'all got to say. The episode got a 4/5 stars from me just for the dragons. I'm here for Jace, Baela, Addam and the Dragons!

Until next week guys for the finale. We're going to see Tessarion and Sheepstealer next week. I'm so excited.

[moongoopy]

The Fingernail Issue

c: gojo wasn't told of toji having a sibling leading him to wonder what kind of brother toji fushiguro was

c/w: Reader is adopted here, modern au, fluff, Toji's family are not a bunch of assholes, Reader is Toji's adoptive sibling, platonic and crack and humour ig

a/n: thought about this while making potato chips

"You have a sibling!? Why haven't you told us?"

"There was no need."

Toji slurped his noodles, ignoring the groan that he got from Gojo Satoru. Being in the same club with Gojo Satoru and a few other extras proved to be quite fun. He thought joining the basketball club with egocentric people would be infuriating but in this little group he managed to make friends suprisingly. He let Sukuna take his shrimp while he shrugs, right now; Gojo was quite adamant on getting to know his kid sibling that was in the same school as him, just two grades lower than him.

Geto slips in a joke if he wanted to court them or something since the white haired male next to him who was currently miming a camera with his two hands. Just the thought of another Fushiguro gave him the heebie jeebies, he was already offputting with how crass his personality was, his sibling would probably be the same. He gagged to Geto's comment, his hand on his chin when he thought about it.

"Unless, your sibling isn't a carbon copy of you and is way more better than you.."

Sukuna waved his hand to deny that sentence with a smirk and it received a nudge from Toji, they had this whispering thing they had going on to keep secrets away from Gojo and they giggle like two middle schoolers finding out about a dirty secret.

"Oh so you've met them, Ryoumen?" Nanami sipped his coffee, he had his notebook infront of him, consistently taking notes since he'd miss a day of school and its already biting him in the ass. The pink haired male shrugged, copying the same move as his friend that made Gojo click his tongue to.

"If you don't like them, why are you even curious?"

Gojo defended himself, "Its not that I dont like them, I barely met them. Its just that.."

Without noticing he painted an image of you even before seeing you in the flesh so maybe you weren't that bad. Gojo just cant imagine Toji having a sibling, would he be a doting brother? A strict one? Geto had stated stuff about dating and he barely batted an eye so it looked like to Gojo that Toji didnt really care about you but the next words that Toji said irked him.

"You look like you have a lot on your mind, Gojo. Mind sharing?"

Toji finished his noodles but thought of leaving some of the soup at the bottom, thats where all the seasonings sink to. Knocking his chopsticks into the bowl, he leaned forward to hear what Gojo had say. Gojo was the type to walk past the obvious and it was funny. Seeing THE Gojo Satoru struggle was entertaining.

"Nah, I'm good, I'll just see them myself." He bit on his lollipop, crunching up the last bits down his throat.

"Good luck finding them then," The black haired man got up from his seat with his tray and Gojo gasped. He hasn't even finished asking questions but knowing him, he loved avoiding questions like some personal torture he lets people go through.

"I'm bringing my mom to the clinic so I gotta run," Toji gruffly said, grabbing his jacket and he was so fast to slip away.

"Hey! Are you sure you're not using that as an excuse again? Me and Suguru legit saw Mrs. Fushiguro doing laps the other day!"

"Even did some cardio too.." Geto chuckled, remembering how Toji's mom proudly confessed how she had done a lot of stuff in one day. It made him smile while Gojo was sulking like a poodle beside him. Sukuna cleared his throat from eating and cleaned his plates up. He glanced at Gojo mischeviously.

"Well.. if you want to know one thing.." Sukuna dragged the silence a little longer before chuckling. "They're a bit of the same."

Sukuna too walks away, waving slyly to meet up for practise soon and Gojo scoffed. That sleazy bastard thought that information on you was new.

"That was sooo lame."

-------------

Toji had his hands on the wheel, listening to his mother talk about what should they have for dinner. In between talking about your favourites and if his dad was gonna come home, she recalled the days where you first came home.

Mama Fushiguro liked recalling this a lot and when many people were bored by this tale by now, Toji showed interest. He didn't admit though when he finally had a kid sibling in his house, he was actually pretty elated. The house was quiet on its own with himself but with you, it was like he had a friend.

When you are adopted, his peace wasn't disrupted at all but it was like yours was. You were in a completely new environment but not unfamiliar. You had been fostered before but he didn't pry into your past, there was no need to he thinks. It was normal for you to be distant even if his parents try to pry you out your shell like a cat with its nails stuck on the walls. You claw back to your comfort and wasn't all that talkative.

He didn't force you to talk or advise you on anything because it was clear you could handle yourself, you just like to keep to yourself more than his parents. But knowing this doesn't make the bond between you and him all the more stumped. He did attempted to eventhough his mother would nag about how it was barely anything; calling you down for dinner wasn't talking and hell, task dividing either!

Going to the same college didn't made you two any closer. He thought asking you about school was corny and didn't bother, he didn't really think much of it. By the tired look in your face, it was more than enough to know what you've been through but he was sure you stayed out of trouble because he made sure of that.

He took his usual route back to the car but realise you were a bit late. You weren't usually tardy, he was and even so you would still wait for him out of courtesy. He spun back around and thought of fetching you in an instant. Maybe now was the time he would open his mouth and talk to you.

There was a bit of a ruckus in one of the classrooms. If he didn't had sharp ears then he would've walked right past but that was one of the subject classes you attend and peeped in.

It was horrid.

He saw a bunch of hooligans messing up your notebooks and scraping it against the ground with their shoes. He recognized some of them as they squat at your level and taunt you.

It was some people in his fan club or whatever and he heard bits of how someone this puny couldn't be his sibling. You were clutching onto a bag and it wasn't just your bag that you were concerned of, the laptop that his parents gave were in it and the bag slides clean off and you were only protecting the laptop with your life. You didn't mind your keychains being ripped off and tossed about but amongst the stomping, the laptop was clutched tightly in your arms.

"Hey!"

His shout boomed across the room, shocking even you. You looked up to see your brother and he looked about ready to rip into the bullies with his bare hands. The group turned pale when they saw that their idol had caught them in the act of tormenting his little sibling and bit their tongue as their knees wobble.

The details of the lecture/threat of Toji wasn't heard as your ears buzz with fear. His touch made you snap back to reality, his rough hands helping you up gently and you wobble in your place.

"Holy shit.." You exclaimed in a huff to which he looked at you in an instant.

"You're really fucking loud when you're mad."

Silence settled to which the both of you laughed at in few seconds. This was the first time you didn't feel akward and commented so honestly. He patted your back and pick up your stuff, though soiled; atleast you were only shaken but unharmed.

The walk back to the car came naturally albeit a bit of limping in your step, you had twisted your ankle while running to catch the laptop before the others did and it sparked hellfire in Toji. His main priority now is atleast offering a crumb of comfort and heard out your reasoning for portecting a device rather than your skull.

"We could always buy you a new laptop,"

"I like the one now."

"Its not worth it breaking your skull in to protect it though."

To be honest, it wasn't about liking it. Just the big smiles on your adoptive parents' faces when they urged you to open the gift they bought you, it made your eyes all teary.

You weren't adopted before but you had to go through mean foster parents that had too much on their hands and that led to negliance to your needs. That led to several arguments and got you sent to the adoption center and it broke you, just the thought of connecting with another family made you numb.

But this family was so gentle with you. Even when you showed that there was no need for such kindness yet it wasn't that they coaxed you out of your shell but that they were so tender through their actions.

Toji notices the tears and scratches the back of his neck, he didn't read this in the big brother dummy book to know what to do if his little sibling cries. You had a distant look in your eyes before you realised you had reached the car with him.

Thankfully, both parents didn't notice the missing schoolbag or the agitated state that you're in. They were all smiles and Mamaguro was powdering on her face so it meant a family outing tonight.

You couldn't help but panic when you try to think of an explanation of your missing bag but Toji butted in on his parents conversations.

"Hey, Y/N wanted some ice cream before dinner, is that okay?"

Toji blurted out all of a sudden and you so badly wanted to deny it but he dug a deeper hole for you when the two agreed so quickly. They were excited that you finally requested something in a while and the car swerved to the nearest convenience store. Your brother adjusted himself in his seat, taking out his earphones and leaned a bit closer so the two infront won't hear.

"No worries, there's a store that sells bags beside the convenience store."

You huffed out a breath, your mouth feeling so dry and nodded to his words. He was a life saver.

Toji remembered how jittery you were when he suddenly made up some shit about you wanting ice cream that he couldn't help but chuckle outloud. The light from your eyes almost dimmed when you thought he would snitch on you. He parked close to the clinic, turning his back to grab an umbrella incase it rained. His mom pouted to his sudden chuckle and sighed.

"What are you laughing for? You're not ditching practise, yknow? You're going after you send me off at the clinic."

"Huh?" His mom showed a text conversation between her and Geto and scoffed. The lengths that man bun would go to have him show up at practise. That damn milf hunter-

-----------

"Hands up if your name is Y/N Fushiguro!!!" The class erupted in some noise upon seeing the popular duo stand near the doors of their class. When you heard your name being called, you reluctantly raised your hand; recognising who these two were.

The duo's faces fell for a moment, choking. Oh, you were adopted? Not in an offensive way obviously but Gojo might've heaved a sigh of relief. Atleast you weren't a splitting reflection of your brother, that would give him nightmares! Geto on the other hand realised why Toji would hide such a fact, an element of suprise if you will. He thought the two of them wouldn't find you out in an instant, did Toji thought so low of them? You raised a brow, wondering what they wanted.

They watched you walk out the classroom and Gojo adjusted his glasses. The graphic t-shirt and the style you had was a sublte influence from your brother.

"Well, well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?"

You had the exact relaxed expression like your brother except you slowly turn weirded out, why were they ogling you like this?

You took time to observe them head to toe subtly while Gojo yapped about the tale of how Toji didn't reveal that he had a younger sibling, they were lean and muscular and they had this obvious good cop bad cop duo energy. The white haired man sounded visibly upset that you were kept as a secret from the rest, was this some kind of facade to get to know you better? You shifted to one foot to another, stopping the music playing in your earpods and cleared your throat.

"Do you want to get with my brother or something orrr...?" Gojo didn't get to the point so you went straight in but due to their reactions, you might've miscalculated. Tilting your head, you pointed at Geto's painted nails and the earrings he had.

"And you.. are you two like gay or something?" You put your hands in defense, talking quickly before they get the wrong idea, "Hey, I don't discriminate. I just barely had any fans of my brother be male sooo..."

For once in their lives, Gojo was speechless and Geto had his eyes wide open like crazy.

One thing was for sure, anyting that was the apart of the Fushiguro family was a complete nightmare.

[stinkysam]

Vinsmoke Sanji - A date ?!

Warning : none

Genre : fluff

Synopsis : "sanji with a boyfriend who's just as flirty and equaly down bad for him? for once his man is the one giving him flowers, inviting him out on dates and he's the one getting flirted on (u can take this as a continuation of sanji realizing he likes a man) ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა" - @vainillacookie

Reader : male (you/yours)

A/N : Part ONE

Sanji couldn't believe he had a date planned with you.

He couldn’t believe he had a date at all. Because all the flirting he's done never resulted in anything. At most, he'd get a giggle and a compliment, or a tip but not… a date. Un rendez vous galant, you see ? Can you believe it ?!

So he was excited. For once, his feelings were reciprocated and not just seen as a joke. You were hearing him and willing to listen more.

The date went, oh, so well. He had gained in confidence and was more sure of himself although he was still a bit nervous, not wanting to fuck up. But with the way you looked it him, it seemed like he couldn't fuck up, even if he tried. It had his heart skip many beats because of the way your eyes stared at him. So loving and admiring, he couldn't believe it.

The only downside -or upside, depends how you see it- is that you're actually a total flirt. Worse than him. And this is bad because it keeps making his heart jump and sparkle in his chest. If it continues like this, he might have heart problems.

His cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing so much as well. But he can't stop. Unless you leave the table, but he doesn't want you to do that. Please don't.

"What do you say we do that each time we reach a new island ? A little date just between us two." You said with a wink, leaning on the table, grabbing his hand.

OH MY GOD. You're holding his hand !! Touching him ! So gently ! So warmly ! And what does he hear ? You want more of this ? More dates with him ? To each island ? He's stopping himself from chewing on his napkin like a madman.

He almost forgets to answer, already thinking of the other wonderful dates to come.

"I say I can't wait to spend 'em with you."

You're both so happy and pleased you might jump and bounce on the walls. But you try to stay civilized and appropriately. Sitting in your chair calmly.

He thought he could get a moment of rest after the date, but oh, he was wrong. You did not stop flirting. You even brought him flowers before leaving the island. Zoro can't stop staring apathetically at the two of you, lovebirds. He even made a gagging sound once while Luffy laughed. He's not sure why he gagged, but that was funny.

The second date came and as promised you took him out to a nice little restaurant. Kissing the top of his hand before holding it firmly in yours. It had him mentally squeal, his heart pounding as if trying to get out. What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what-

He can't help but smile back at you, beaming at the thought of spending more time with you. He doesn't know you feel the same, just as excited and happy to be with him.

Then a third date came, a fourth, a fifth… Each time it got better. You even went to a restaurant in the sky !

You always brought him something, new clothes, some jewelry or even some flowers.

He loved it all, but he had a preference for when you cooked for him as it was handmade by you. And you always tried to surprise him with new dishes. Although he is the cook and likes to bake, he finds it nice to have someone ready to make food for him while he relaxes. Or cook next to you for the rest of the crew.

He doesn't know how but you always make his heart swell when you look at him, unaware he has the same effect on you.

He can't understand you love him this much. He just can't. So your gifts, attention, words, and love are everything to him.

[theloveinc]

bf deku who's a little creepy with his love for u..

in a good way ... or a bad way?👁️👁️

Anywayyyyyy yeah. Yeah. You think it's just the honeymoon stage at first, cuz I mean, you feel the same and think it's all very sweet... but suddenly it's your year and six month anniversary and you realize none of his """"wacky"""" behavior has ever really stopped or changed.

But it is... cute? Sweet, at least, the way he's a lil overbearing about things. Always trying to feed you, whether at home or out in public... little bits of his lunch he breaks off to give you when you're sitting on his lap, to watch you eat and make sure you smile about.

(Or the ones he comes into the room just to give you, like he was specifically thinking about you when he ordered a bento at the cafe, spoon in hand loaded with all your favorite things. you glare, cheekily, cuz you always tell him to order what HE wants, but no, never. he'd rather split everything with you than have anything of his own, and if he had his way, he always would.)

Even shower time, cuz if he's not in the water with you (big hands always peeling the soap and loofa and shampoo out of your grasp so he can wash you for you, big hands doing other things to your body that you enjoy but definitely do not include what you're supposed to be doing)... he's sitting on the toilet right next to you, playing on his phone while he waits for you to get out, OR even sitting against the door outside, after jiggling the handle and whining about you not letting him in.

(i saw a funny tik tok that was like, "whenever they say they're showering" and it was the guy running across the house naked LMFAO to get in with her... that's deku.)

And when you get mad at him, lock him out of the bedroom cuz he won't stop weeping and apologizing... he'll lay down on the floor outside and stick his fingers underneath the door to wiggle them at you, his nose too, like it will make you less angry, like he couldn't just bust the whole thing down if he REALLY wanted to (which he doesn't really, not unless you were in danger, not including the time you accidentally locked him out and he came home from patrol so exhausted that he popped the knob right off it's handle accidentally slamming it into the wall trying to get into bed with you).

LOOOOL and you go to his agency one day for some reason (he always wants to see you, his favorite days are when you visit for any reason), and while he's packing up to take a break with you, his computer backgrounds and screensavers are literally all just pictures of you. literally. every single one you've ever taken practically, even the gag photos you send your friends, with your hair all done for bed and face shiny from moisturizer...

It's almost like he snuck onto your phone once or twice to download everything onto his... which like. hmmmmmmmm. LOL. okay. Not to mention the fact that he has locations on and texts you whenever you go ANYWHERE. Even to the konbini across the street. Like he's constantly looking.

Bakugo def adores u for keeping deku out of his hair, but lowkey also has a little beef with you, too, for being practically the only other thing he talks about aside from work and business lksdfjadksljf.

and tbh? i'd feel bad for him, too.

[distort-opia]

I'm wracking my brain with what Joker would do in an established situation, like how would he keep those homicidal urges at bay (sex and intimacy can only go so far I imagine) and also there's so much unacknowledged mental health concerns. Bruce would just have to always be ready to pick up the pieces I feel like (God these two are a tragic mess). I don't think normalcy is possible but I don't think their relationship is built for that anyway (I've been writing notes down for a story for days and it's just been consuming me)

An actual relationship between Bruce and Joker is a very complicated thing to imagine, yeah. I agree with you that normalcy is entirely out of the question-- as in, a typical "healthy" relationship. What I think they could have is something that works, but not something that most people would understand or approve of. If you're writing a story, I would say it depends on how they got into the relationship a lot, and if Bruce is compromising as much as Joker perceives he is. For instance, a rehabilitation scenario inherently implies a power imbalance, which Joker would resent and Bruce would not be able to help not taking advantage of. This would not end up working out, in my opinion, unless they got back on equal footing somehow. So a scenario with them an equal footing is what I will be rambling about.

Joker's homicidal urges and mental health issues are indeed a big obstacle. It'd take a whole lot for him to even agree to try for a relationship that involves something other than violence, but this denotes a willingness to compromise from the start. It means he cares about Bruce enough to risk opening the door to his humanity, something that he's very keen on eradicating. Joker can allow himself to love Batman as long as love equals destruction; but once love begins to mean more tender things, things that only people and not monsters can feel... it's a threat to his very identity, to his very core. Hence, just the fact that Joker is in an established relationship means that he's accepted, one way or another, that he's a human being.

Human beings don't need to kill people. Monsters do. It's relevant to note that Joker has an incredible capacity to reshape himself. He's done so multiple times in canon, and always in relation to what he perceived Batman needed. He was murderous when he emerged, but after Robin appeared on the scene he went for funny silly gags, and then he recreated himself back into a horrific threat... In his head, Batman -- the drive to see meaning in all life, to fight for sense in one's existence -- is the force of nature that he's the opposite of. Joker molded himself as the force of chaos: he kills carelessly, sometimes almost joylessly, because he believes he's embodying the true way the world works (though he's shown signs he'd like to be convinced otherwise).

After all, like his fall in the acid and the trauma he went through proved, catastrophe is random. It doesn't matter if you're good or evil, if you've got a family or if you're alone, if you've contributed to society or not. You can get run over by a bus, you can have a heart attack, you can mix the wrong medications, you can get shot in the head by a madman because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. My point with this is that Joker sees himself as an agent of the cruel randomness of existence, and him killing people is very much part of it. So if he stopped seeing himself as an inhuman force for chaos, I think killing would not be a necessity anymore.

That's not to say he wouldn't think of other people's lives as worthless or that he wouldn't instinctually want to kill someone because they're inconveniencing him as some kind of fly buzzing around, but it does mean he wouldn't need to do it. Being with Bruce undermines the very point of being Joker, it means being a person instead of raging at the world. In an established relationship, he'd need to once again reshape himself, figure out who he can be. It'd be very difficult, if you add Bruce's controlling tendencies in the mix. You mentioned Bruce always having to pick up the pieces, but the thing is, Bruce would want to. He'd want to do that too much, he would enjoy seeing Joker be vulnerable, because afterwards... Bruce would be able to put those pieces back together the way he wants them to be. And Joker would be rightly afraid of that, and Bruce himself would be afraid of his own need to do just that, and it'd be a constant push and pull. That's basically what I think it'd be like for a while, before Joker figured out who exactly he's comfortable being, and if he can trust Bruce to still be there when boundaries are being pushed. It'd be a lot of "make me" even in the context of intimacy, until Joker initiates something that doesn't hurt on his own and like... Bruce doesn't move a muscle as if he might spook a wild animal or something. And then Joker snaps at him to stop making it weird, hah.

I'm going to stop here to avoid turning this into a Batjokes relationship essay, but I hope this helped inspire you, Anon! We can always use more Batjokes stories, excited to eventually read yours.

[yourlocalmikankinnie]

♤sleeping witch♤

an: hi! I'm so sorry for the wait on this.. I hope it's to your liking! I have not been skilled in making long fanfics or oneshots *coughs as you can tell coughs* I know it's not very "fancy talking" or elegant but I still hope it's presentable 💗

request details: "Can you do kind of a gothic type sleeping beauty for Celeste, and g/n reader does the whole “kiss to wake up” thing??"

slight warning!: LOTS of uses of "you" and I sneaked in some tiny brainrot

tag: @canweseethepictures <3

It was so secret that everybody was expecting the downfall of the noble witch. She was a cruel and greedy person. She was a liar, a cheat, everything under the sun. So there was no surprise when someone had eventually cursed her like she had done to so many before.

The witch was put to sleep, never to wake up unless given something so small as a kiss. the only problem? nobody wanted to give her one. not even her pathetic servants. funny right?

oh well, she'll never wake up anyways.

right?

「 ✦ seems like this is where

you come in isn't it? ✦ 」

'—-

You weren't exactly the richest or well known person ever, but you made a living as a baker a year ago in the town if you'd call it that. everything seemed laid back and calm, the opposite of what you had heard from travelers before coming there.

So your interest and curiosity was caught when you overheard some townsfolk talking about something strange, for people who were supposed to be whispering, they were doing a shit job at it..

"has anyone tried to wake her yet?" One villager asked the next. "not to any of our knowledge, last person who tried was taken away right?" Another spoke. "yeah... poor fool." a snarky Noble snickered.

it wasn't really eavesdropping if they were out in the open talking was it? pfff no! with the information you've gathered from that, there was clearly some girl who was sleeping and they obviously just didn't want anyone to wake her up. Sounds pretty stupid if you ask me.

you decide to ask customers about this mysterious lady, turns out the girl is a wicked witch. for people so adamant on keeping it some kind of secret or disclosed thing, they sure do talk an ear off.

After managing to collect more information and details, you think about it for the next few days. on one hand, it seems like the witch being cursed is a good thing for the townsfolk, on the other hand, it really seemed like the witch was skilled... which is useful for certain situations.

Weighing your options, you decide to sleep on it again. in your thoughts however, a voice calls for you distantly even outside of the dream, which leads you to now. Right infront of the "heavily guarded manor" It was infact NOT guarded. it wasn't really a problem getting inside, but you can't really be careful, there could possibly be traps or this whole thing could be a trap. You never know.

Just to be safe, you start inspect the manor carefully. after inspecting, the "journey" up to where the room the witch was at didn't take long, they had quite literally not moved her. She was infact still laying face down on the floor with a tea cup spilt and shattered on the floor, the tea all moldy by now, causing a slight gag at the stench.

"God damn the towns people really hate you don't they" and with that, you grab her pale slender hand, grimacing at the sticky red tea on it and pull her over somewhere so that she was not on the dirty ass floor.

Almost forgetting what you came here for, you spend a minute thinking, making sure this was the right decision or not but not wanting to take too long to where whoever was supposed to be "heavily guarding" this place does their job.

you finally come to a decision and lean in, grimacing at the bitter, gross, moldy smell and taste of the old tea on her lips.. it was really gross

You waited a little bit, wiping your mouth with your sleeve "nobody said I had to enjoy the kiss so that's a positive at least.."

a rustle and groan caught your attention as you watched the Black haired witch open her eyes, the piercing red eyes starring into your soul that's what seemed like atleast..

"who are you. And are you the one who has awoken me?" her heavy fake accent hit your ears. you replied, not wanting her to take her anger out on the only person with her. "yes ma'am"

she stayed silent for a while, looking lost in thought, you didn't really put it past her since she has just woken up from who knows long.

"So it seems you have received my call after all.. hm. pleasant. I am Celestia Ludenberg, the Witch."

"awsomesauce"

After spending some while talking to the which, you find out more about her, what she's done. a large part of it is frightening, being in the same room as her but it sounds fucking awsome being a witch.. aside from the whole "being hated and set on fire" stuff.

"So... you aren't gonna curse me are you? You practically told me uh.. everything."

"Hm? You foolish baker.. I might do just that! would you like me to?" the tone in her voice was playfully mocking with hint of seriousness.

"erm.. what the sigma" your face flushed a bit as you pulled your collar, you couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or being flustered.

"What? Would you perhaps rather receive a kiss than a curse?"

"Brush your teeth first and I'll think about that.." you shiver a bit as she laughs.

"I'm serious by the way"

"oh. I knew that."

thank you so much for requesting! I'm so sorry I have not been active as of lately, lots of crazy stuff going on

will be trying to get all requests I have done by next week!

[heliads]

don't ask too many questions - hayconroland

Hayden wants Connor. Connor clearly doesn't want Hayden, but he does want Hayden to stop hanging around Roland. Or maybe he just doesn't want them to be together when he's not there.

masterlist

Hayden Upchurch is seventeen years old and sick of himself when he realizes he’s in love with his best friend. The one who’s dating his other best friend, that is. The one who would never, ever, fall for someone like Hayden. 

He’s had a problem with daydreaming, always has. Feels like the worst part of his heritage– two actor parents, of course he’d come up with a fantasy, everyone around him with a part to play to secure his happy ending. Hayden wants to believe that the world revolves around him and so he does. Even when his parents split. Even when they give him up to be dismembered. Even when he comes in contact with the one boy who finally might put him first, and then doesn’t.

But then again, who hasn’t wanted to be in love with Connor Lassiter? Hayden hasn’t met a single soul in the Graveyard who hasn’t contemplated it at some point. Sure, some make a point of pretending they’d never go there, but they would. They all would. Even Hayden. That’s kind of why this aches so bad. Connor has his pick of anyone in the world, even if he hasn’t put that together yet. He could have anyone, and he doesn’t want Hayden.

The worst part is, Hayden’s pretty sure he could have made it happen were it not for the fact that the good story has already started to play out. Connor chose Risa. Of course he would. It’s a match made in heaven, if there’s any bit of heaven reserved for the bits-and-pieces Unwinds even a mother couldn’t love. Pretty people fall in love with pretty people. Risa’s smart and Connor’s brave. Hayden knew it was over for him the second they showed up together, and with a baby no less. God, it’s like they’re already jumpstarting their iconic unwind celebrity family.

It makes him want to gag, and he probably would, if it weren’t for the fact that he feels more like sobbing instead. Technically, Connor and Risa haven’t announced anything, or done anything for that matter, but they don’t have to. Hayden’s seen enough lovesick glances to know a crush when it’s right in front of his face.

It was one thing when he could hide from the truth of it, tucked away in the darkness of the antique store basement. In the shadows, Hayden could convince himself of anything, even that the Akron Awol might find him hot. And– it’s stupid, right? Hayden knows he’s hot. The PR agent his parents hired for him since the age of five has made sure of that. Yet all it takes is one (honestly, average) teenage outlaw and Hayden’s wondering if his hair has somehow lost its luster or if his eyes are starting to bleach out their blue. Maybe his jokes are falling flat. Maybe he was never funny in the first place. Maybe that’s why Connor wouldn’t look at him unless his feet were on fire or something.

Trapped in the Graveyard, there’s no hiding from the truth. Stuck labeling boxes and unpacking crates, Hayden has the perfect view as Connor and Risa make more excuses to find each other. He’s organizing canned food now, slamming each box down with unnecessary force so he doesn’t punch somebody instead. He has the perfect view through the bars of the storage caddy as Connor benefits from another excuse to visit the medical wing.

Connor has just emerged from the med bay, grinning ear to ear. He shakes his head foolishly as he heads back into the sunlight, as if unable to believe himself. Hayden can’t believe it, either. He certainly can’t believe that he’s still letting himself feel so terrible over the proud smirk on Connor’s face, the pride that certainly means he’s not holding himself back the way Hayden is.

He can’t do this anymore. Slumped against a wall of crates, Hayden’s eye catches a flicker of pink amongst the scores of labels. It’s a heart, part of a logo of some company. Filled with a sudden, irrational burst of anger, he lunges forward and tears the heart away, piece by piece, until blood wells up underneath the edges of his fingertips. He sucks on his index finger to take the sharp prick of pain away, cursing both the can and himself. He could go to medical to get it cleaned up, of course, but then he’d have to see Risa, and that’s out of the question.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

A sudden voice nearly makes Hayden jump out of his skin. He bangs his head against one of the shelves, and straightens up, swearing, to get a good look at whoever’s just surprised him. Oddly enough, it’s Roland. He doesn’t usually bother Hayden, opting instead to save himself the nuisance of Hayden’s endless barbs and digs at his expense, but apparently Hayden’s done something today to warrant the visit. Lovely.

“Jesus,” Hayden mutters under his breath, rubbing the sore spot on his head, “Where’d you come from? Don’t tell me you’ve taken to spawning out of the shadows now.”

Roland just chuckles, face completely deadpan. “I’ll consider it. Why do you look like you just got hit by a bus? I want to know who beat me to it.”

Hayden rolls his eyes. He barely has the strength to deal with his own thoughts. Roland is so far from what Hayden can deal with, it’s not even funny. “Can you just– just fuck off, will you? Go bother one of the little kids and leave me alone.”

He tries to storm off, but there isn’t much room tucked in amongst the crates, so Hayden is only able to stomp a few feet away and stand with his back to Roland, glowering at the jars of green olives in front of him. He can just make out Roland’s reflection behind him in the watery sheen of the glass, the confused furrow of his brow.

“What’s gotten into you?” Roland asks, genuinely curious.

Hayden doesn’t even bother to answer. He reaches out, uselessly straightening the rows of olives in the hopes that Roland will get bored and leave him alone. Strangely enough, Roland doesn’t, and walks closer to Hayden until they’re shoulder to shoulder again.

“Seriously,” Roland says. “I’ve never known anything that could make you shut up. I’m kind of jealous.”

Against his will, Hayden’s gaze betrays him and flits through the gaps in the crates to where Connor still idles near the medical bay. Roland turns his head to follow Hayden’s line of breath and he sucks in a breath as he puts the pieces together far too quickly.

“Oh,” Roland says, voice strangely deep. “Oh, shit.”

Hayden feels as if all the blood in his body has suddenly rushed to his feet. His face must be like bone, stripped of any sign of light. “You shut the fuck up,” he says unsteadily, “You shut the fuck up, I swear to God, I’ll kill you, I swear it. I’ll fucking kill you. I’ll hit you so bad you won’t even walk. Don’t you say a damn thing.”

They both know it’s bullshit, Roland could kick Hayden’s ass in a second. This close, practically breathing down each other’s throats, Hayden can sense all that muscle, vibrating with nerves. Everything in Roland is electric, ready to pounce, but instead, he says raggedly, “I can help with that.”

Hayden blinks in surprise. “You want to help me kill you?”

Roland shakes his head disgustedly. “No, dumbass. I can help you with Connor.”

Hayden just stares. “Why the fuck would you do that?”

Something like a muscle twitch pulls the corner of Roland’s lips up into a half-smirk. “I like getting under his skin. Maybe under his shirt, at least.”

A flash of white-hot courses through Hayden in an instant. He waits for Roland to start laughing, or start swinging, to tell him that he’d been joking, or messing with him, or something, anything, for this situation to make sense. Instead, Roland leans a little closer, expectant, and Hayden realizes that he’s not joking around at all.

“Alright,” Hayden says at last. “What did you have in mind?”

Roland’s teeth bare in a full grin. “I was hoping you’d ask. See, I’ve noticed something about our mutual friend. Connor doesn’t do very well with jealousy.”

Hayden laughs derisively before he can stop himself. “Problem with that one, Roland. Connor isn’t jealous of either of us.”

Roland doesn’t look remotely fazed by this. “Want to bet?”

They both turn as one again to look over at Connor. Stupid, reckless Connor, who’s straightened up to look back at them, who may be seeing two silhouettes behind the storage crates where there should just be one. Connor doesn’t look quite so carefree anymore. In fact, although it may be reaching, Hayden would go so far as to say that he looks quite worried indeed.

Hayden lets out a low whistle. “You actually might be right about that one.”

Roland scoffs. “I’m usually right. You just don’t pay attention.”

Hayden fights the urge to roll his eyes again and only mostly succeeds. “How’d you know?”

Roland initiates an elaborate shrug. “I know what to do when a boy doesn’t give me what I want.”

He’s really close right now, Hayden realizes. He’s not sure when Roland got that close, but Hayden can either stay here or back up, and this closed in surrender doesn’t really seem like an option, so he stays. Roland’s breath is hot on his mouth. They’re still so damn close. This might be what heatstroke feels like. Insanity may set in soon, if it hasn’t already.

“Alright,” Hayden stumbles. “Let’s make him jealous, then.”

Roland’s grin really is sharklike, Hayden decides, but he can’t tell if he’s the prey or Connor. Maybe both. “Great choice.”

Before Hayden can do or say something stupid, Connor appears around the stack of crates, peering at both of them dubiously. “What are you two doing?”

Roland reacts immediately, like he was waiting for it. Probably salivating over their moment of discovery, too, like a dog with the premise of a bone. “Talking, Connor. You’re familiar with it?”

He claps his hand down on Hayden’s shoulder, and Hayden does his best not to startle. He feels like he’s hyper aware of everything going on with his bicep, down to the slightest shuffle of Roland’s fingers against the fabric of Hayden’s shirt, or the heaviness of Roland’s breathing despite doing his best to pretend as if nothing were the matter.

Connor seems to notice it too. His eyes are glued to Roland’s hand on Hayden, and it seems to take him considerable effort to swallow harshly and say, “That true, Hayden?”

Hayden can practically feel Roland’s gaze boring down on him, demanding that he play along. Well, Hayden’s perfectly fine with playing along. It’s supposed to be in his genes, isn’t it? “All good, Connor. Just fucking around on duty. You going to report us to the Admiral?”

He manages to force a chuckle as he says it, and Roland nods along, clearly pleased. Connor swallows again. “Just– get back to work, will you?”

“So bossy, isn’t he?” Roland muses, and it seems like an inside joke between him and Hayden. Hayden laughs because he can, because he should. Connor looks like he’s stopped being able to understand the language they’re speaking.

Roland lets the moment sit a second longer, then tears his hand from Hayden at last and sweeps away, purposely bumping into Connor as he goes. Both Hayden and Connor watch him disappear. Connor turns back to Hayden once Roland is out of view, and says hoarsely, “What was that?”

Hayden can’t answer.

Everything feels different, and does for hours after. Days, even. At meals, Roland appears to drag Hayden away by the arm, and they eat alone together, tucked in a corner of the room where no one else can reach them. They’re always touching, somehow– a shin against a shin, a hand on an arm, fingers grasping the back of Hayden’s neck like the scruff of a dog. He’s going to explode with the force of something great and terrible, but Connor first, because Connor has to see all this happen and not feel it, too, not like Hayden. Hayden gets to feel it all, because Roland asked him, not Connor. It feels fucking fantastic.

It all comes to a head about a week later. Connor’s been strumming with the rage of not being the first choice for several days now. Hayden wants to tell him that he’s being really selfish– how long had Hayden put up with the same thing, anyway, several weeks? Months? Longer than this, at least. Hayden could take it if their situations were reversed. Probably.

Connor’s been trying to talk to Hayden all day, but Hayden keeps dodging him, claiming to be busy or something. At last, when night falls, Connor tracks him down and Hayden runs out of excuses.

“It’s dark,” he tries to claim, Connor’s hand thick and strong on the sleeve of his jacket, “People are trying to sleep, Connor. We can’t disturb them.”

“Fine,” Connor says icily, and all but drags him to one of the grounded planes. 

Roland meets them halfway there. Maybe the scent of Hayden’s fear carries across the whole damn Graveyard. Sure feels that way, at least. He says not a word but walks with them, opens the door of the plane. Locks it behind them.

Then they’re all standing in a rough circle, Connor’s hand still stuck on Hayden’s jacket sleeve. “I want to know what this is about,” he says roughly. “And don’t try to bullshit me. You’re doing something.”

Roland folds his arms across his chest, all casual. “We’re doing something, alright.”

Connor almost growls with irritation. “You’re trying to bother me. I get it, I’ve been snapping at everybody. Fine. It’s dangerous out there, I wanted to keep us safe. Sue me, but talk to me, instead of doing this.”

Roland grins. Sharklike again. Like he doesn’t know how to smile any other way. “What are we doing, Connor? You tell us.”

“Us,” Connor seethes. “There’s never been an us. This is what I’m talking about. You keep playing up this– this thing between the two of you. You’re trying to get to me, I don’t know why, but I’m sick of it. Can’t you be normal for once in your lives?”

Hayden can sense the power thrumming through the room, turning the air thick and hot with imbalance, but for once, it’s not on Connor’s side. It feels good to be the one in charge, he has to say. Hayden doesn’t usually like it, but he does now.

“Why would us talking bother you, Connor?” He says, relaxed as anything. “I don’t see what could possibly be the problem. We’re just talking.”

Connor rounds on him. “You’re not just talking, though. I know you aren’t. Maybe you’re trying to get me out or something. I don’t know what you’re doing.”

Roland stalks closer. “It bothers you, doesn’t it? Not knowing what we’re up to.”

“That’s what I just said,” Connor spits out, but he doesn’t sound as self-righteous as he did before. In fact, his voice wobbles slightly on the last syllable, just like it had when he’d caught them the first time.

“I don’t know why it would bother you,” Hayden says matter-of-factly. “To be honest, if you’ve got anything wrong with it, I think you should prove it. Otherwise, I mean, how would we know what you want?”

It’s a good move, Hayden’s proud of it. Even Roland’s grinning, the two of them in on another joke. Connor chafes against that exclusion like a dog at a bit, foaming at the mouth at the thought of them having anything without him.

“What I want,” Connor says slowly, voice thick with it, “is for you two to stop fucking around like this. Stop looking at me like I’m the odd one out. You two hate each other, anyway.”

Roland stalks closer. The way he’s eying Connor is downright predatory. “I think I’m confused. Do you want us to stop, or do you want to be a part of it?”

“I don’t even know what it is,” Connor tries to say, but his voice drops away into nothingness the closer Roland gets to him. Hayden can understand the feeling. He still feels like the floor of the plane isn’t all too steady anymore.

“I think you do,” Roland says. He looms over them both now, less in stature and more in spirit. The span of him could last forever. Enough for Connor and Hayden to share, and a little left over too.

Hayden’s jacket is on the floor, and he only knows it happens at all because of the quick flash of Connor’s hands ripping it off of him in the corner of Hayden’s vision. Roland doesn’t even react to the motion. He just keeps staring at the two of them, grinning, waiting. Then he moves, is on them in an instant, and there’s nothing any of them could have done after that.

Hayden honestly doesn’t know if Connor was there to stop them or join. In the end, it doesn’t matter. Hayden knows how that would-be intervention ended, and it didn’t really seem like Connor was that keen on any of them stopping, for that matter.

He has no idea what’s going to happen after this. Roland’s plan really only went so far as getting Connor to snap, no continuity for the fallout. For once, though, Hayden doesn’t think he needs a plan for how to act, what to do. Maybe he can just make it up as he goes along. Roland and Connor would be down, and nothing else really matters. Everything is business as usual and he feels good. Really good, actually, and if Hayden’s voice is oddly hoarse the next morning, most people have the good sense not to ask why.

Most people, that is. Risa sidles up to Hayden later that day. He’s pretending to organize some cans of food, although he starts pretending extra hard when he notices the suspicious look on her face. 

“The windows on one of the planes were quite fogged up this morning,” Risa remarks. 

“Planes do that sometimes,” Hayden replies calmly. “I wouldn’t worry about it.”

Risa casts him a sidelong glance, but when Hayden refuses to extrapolate on that absolute failure of a sentence, she sighs so deeply he’s pretty sure the Admiral could hear it from his office. She looks like she’s going to call him out on this obvious bit of bullshit, but then she spots something across the tarmac and straightens up a little. 

“Never mind,” she says, “I think I’ve answered my own question.”

Risa starts to walk away, then pauses as if she’s just thought of something important and turns back to him. “Don’t do anything stupid, Hayden. Or anything else stupid.”

With those inspiring words of wisdom, Risa heads back the way she’d come. Hayden frowns, confused, then tries to figure out what she’d been looking at to change her mind so quickly. 

It doesn’t take long to figure it out. Shaded by the metal underbelly of one of the Graveyard’s many planes, two figures stand close together, their shoulders brushing as they whisper. Roland and Connor. Two people who supposedly hate each other, who did hate each other or were at least good at pretending until last night. Now, instead of trying to kill each other, they’re muttering back and forth, all the while both eyeing Hayden with identical, bloodthirsty grins. Like they knew exactly what prey they wanted. Like they already knew it was twitching under their claws. 

Oh, Hayden is so fucked. But hasn’t that always been true?

unwind tag list: @reinekes-fox, @sirofreak, @locke-writes

all tags list: @wordsarelife

[yowyowyaoi]

Kakuzu’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki

From Tobi

I paid already!

I didn’t break it that was Senpai!

Please Kakuzu-san come look at it, that plant made my arms so itchy 😓

If Itachi can have one why can’t I ?!

How old do YOU think I am 🤪

Don’t worry I didn’t buy it I “borrowed” it 

You don’t need to get so mad, I know how to fix it!

From Zetsu

Please inform your partner that it’s MY job to dispose of the bodies, and I don’t appreciate him interfering with my meals.

I did the scouting, he’s in that small village with the lake in the middle, house with a red roof.

You keep the money, I’m only interested in his head.

YOU try talking to her when she’s in one of her moods!

I truly appreciate your “finding” that artificial sun lamp for me. The winter should be much more bearable now.

From Konan

No more excuses. I made your favorite and you WILL come and eat.

Oh he did? Funny how this is the FOURTH time he’s made this “mistake” this month. 

I need a bigger budget than that. Have you not seen how much these guys eat?? 😒

All three of them? Together? Are you sure that’s wise? 

No more recruits unless absolutely necessary. Money aside I simply cannot “adjust” to one more person in this organization.

“Grandfather” is a bit exaggerated; you’re much too handsome for that, my friend 😏

Of course I appreciate the help but you did NOT have to kill him! 

Please come and join us. It’s a documentary but I know you’ll like it.

I’ve tried to be patient but I’m done asking. My next warning will be paper-cuts to their jugulars. 😡

From Sasori

Overexertion and poor nutrition isn’t doing a man your age any favors.

He said *I* started it? Tell him to watch himself before I decide to END it as well.

Boyfriends or babysitters? 😂

I finished the first two volumes, I highlighted the parts I thought you’d find most useful.

He needed it tightened so I’ll be sending him to you when you have a moment.

If you truly wanted one I could work on building one for you. It would be a version of my Hiroku.

Why would I contribute to that? I don’t eat.

From Itachi

I think I need a new prescription, everything is blurry again.

Thank you, I appreciate the advice.

You were sleeping so I slid the money under your door.

If he does it again I’m using my eyes and tormenting him for 72 hours 😡

Borrow it any time you like. I think we have the same hair type so mine should work great for you.

What meowing? 👀

It wasn’t that much blood don’t worry.

Kisame’s carrying him, I have Deidara.

Not really. It’s a spectrum, right?

Honestly? No. He’ll probably shred it with that scythe of his.

From Nagato

Did you pay the electric bill?

Did you pay the heating bill?

Did you pay the water bill?

You didn’t kill the bill collector did you ?

If they caused the damage, it comes from their checks.

If he feeds it himself I don’t mind.

The eye drops help a lot, thanks.

No we’ve discussed this. Anyone else, fine. But Konan NEVER sees a single bill. Understood?

If the punishment is within reason, yes. Don’t go overboard; remember they’re not immortal like you.

From Deidara

That wasn’t my fault, it was Tobi!!

My clay is an important part of my job so you should pay for it.

Can’t you gag him? I’m legit having nightmares over the sounds he makes 😣

It was only once and I didn’t break anything!

Can I get the money to you next week?

Hidan broke that guys arms and made him scream! THAT’S what got us caught, NOT my bombs 😡

He’s lying I wasn’t even in the room!

Please can you tighten the stitching? Sasori won’t do it because he’s mad I was “reckless”.

Can you just come help me pick one out? I have no idea what kind of medical books he likes.

I swear I’ll fix it before she notices, pls don’t tell her she hits so hard 😢

From Kisame

You wanna do the weights or the jog first?

Please make him think it was your idea. If he knows I sent him to you he’ll get upset.

You can eat it. I don’t want to insult his cooking but I truly dislike liver.

No, Samehada is trained better than that. 

We ate there last week. Itachi loved it but I’m not sure it’s Hidan’s type of place 🤔

From Hidan

Don’t overeat last time you got that cramp remember?

You sure didn’t seem to mind it last night …

There’s literally no point it just gets all bloody again at some point anyway right?

Wtf? No. That was completely blondie and the orange dumbass.

I’m not complaining but damn you’re a freaky old bastard aren’t you 😏🤤

Damn you just go rest. That fucking bounty can WAIT you asshole you’re gonna kill yourself 😡

Ffs Uchiha doesn’t need to come we don’t need a babysitter we’re both grown!!

Yeah but you never say No so what’s that say about YOU? 

Stop fucking with me don’t think I won’t turn this entire house inside out until I get that necklace back 😒

If I say Yes am I in more trouble or less? 🤔

If I tell her the truth she’s just gonna tear my head off and really that’s just more work for YOU.

Gay. But same 🖤