#UGH IDKKKKK
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if i dont finally get my c5 bennett while wishing for cyno im gonna snap 💀
#my collei and barbara are both c6 but my bennett is only c2 ⚰️ it is my great pain in this game#idk what to do if i get his c6 tho. i would love to activate it for xl and the exclamation point forever being there#would annoy me so much and also make it hard to see if something else is causing the exclamation point too#but no matter how small theres still the chance that dottore will be a physical carry :')#and hes my main goal in this game so idk if i can activate the c6 before i know which will probably be years from now#ugh idkkkkk
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AGAIN i will word this better at a different time my thoughts are very disjointed right now but i think what's so scary about the soap opera scene to Me is that while their communication is far from ideal, BDUBS is the one whos making an attempt to start it, hes the one putting forth the conflict resolution, and hes the one telling etho exactly what he wants and needs and how to approach it. and etho is only able to engage with that so much before he gets flustered and falls apart but. That, after secret life, is so telling to me how much character growth bdubs has had in the last few seasons. He's still flighty and rash and emotional but he's aware now, he said it himself he came to him with open arms! And looking at that conversation compared to their attempts at communicating in last life is like night and day. So for Etho, who has long relied on being the sensible one of the two, who has just went through the start of some growth of his own re: his alliance in sl.. that must be sort of fucking terrifying lol
#mine#sorry this is genuinely messing with me so bad i forgot how much this series fucks me up when its good#GO BACK TO BEING MID PLEAAASE#does this make sense idkkkkk. UGH
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TODAY ON NEVERMORE: LITTLE GUY GOES THROUGH THE HORRORS
#Nevermore#Nevermore Webtoon#Webtoon#WOW WHAT AN EP#LENORE WAS 👏🏻 POPPIN’ 👏🏻 OFF#HER VOICE WHILE ANGRY IS SO DELICIOUS I’LL TELL YOU#Although like this harshness idkkkkk how much it’s called for I know you’re angry Lenore but maybe just have him take you to Duke and you#can sort it out from there#But it’s understandable#MONTY NO I’M NOT DOING ANYTHINGGGGG#Lenore’s not in my room hahahahhahaha#Darn Monty you’re so not cool#Lenore is so cool#“Ugh are they a couple now?” Hahahaha yeah Lenore it sucks#That compilation of all the times Monty was mean to him so good like Will just look 👀#He don’t treat you right#PLUTO BANGING THE WALL SO SADDDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAA#Lenore where did you get the chisel from#You’re making him nervous Lenore stoppppp!!!#HER RANT OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHE ANGYYYYYYY#“A STAIN IN A HUMAN SHAPE” BRUHHHHHH#HE DOESN’T KNOW WHO HE ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS#JUST LIKE HIS STORYYYYY#I DO LIKE IT WHEN LENORE CALLS PEOPLE OLD-TIMEY NICKNAMES#FESTERING TATTERDEMALION IMBECILIC LITTLE PANTY-WAIST 😂#BUT LENORE DON’T BE SO MEANNNNNNN#NOOOO MONTY ADA Y’ALL GET OUT OF HERE#HE HAS A KNIFE TOO I HOPE HE DOESN'T USE IT#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NEVERMORE
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last day of spotify for meeeee what music service should I switch to from tomorrow
#fuck spotify#my premium subscription ends tomorrow thank fuck#it's a pity i was really looking forward to using the students discount in college but spotify fucking sucks so#idk what should i go to#youtube? gaana? jiosaavn??#liveblogging.pdf#ugh i have to move all my playlists too#bulbul? blackhole?#idkkkkk man help#pipepipe!!!
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really hits me how disabled i am when people start suggesting handicap parking passes and mobility aids like a rollator /:
#hikey#disabled lyfe#like yes they would be helpful .... but if i buy one i feel like i'm relinquishing and accepting a lower level of ability#when my ability isn't permanently stuck so low it's just that i'm deconditioned rn and need to physically train my body#idkkkkk mannn#i dunno if i need the looks and shit either#but i did have a breakdown last night bc i was so terrified of going to a concert and fainting ..#idk dude being disabled is ugh#not k|nky
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I’ve been getting so much x-men movies content on my fyp lately and it reminded me how much I prefer the x-men movies over avengers 😭😭😭
#they were just so….so much BETTER quality wise#(not including dark phoenix and apocalypse idk what that shitshow was)#but first class and dofp were my FAVOURITE movies growing up#specially dofp#I remember watching that in the cinema and being obsessed#like the cast bounced off each other sooo well#and were suxh good actors#James mcavoy / fassbender / jackman / Jennifer Lawrence / Nick hoult etc#and ofc Patrick Stewart and Ian Mckellan#also Evan peters#justtttt UGH till this day I think dofp is the perfect superhero film and nothing else comes close#the dialogue is so snappy and funny and good#but then also so dramatic when it needs to be#also the sentinels in the future timeline used to legit scare me to death hahaha#so yall know when I say I’ve never really fully watched that many marvel movies#ITS BC I WAS WATCHING THE X MEN MOVIES#and the marvel movies always seemed not as good in comparison quality wise lol#idkkkkk they just did!!!#my thoughts 💭
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i feel so empty I WISH I DIDNT FEEL SO EMPTY
#of course this is my OPINION#but i dont like the extra pages#cant a story end open-ended and still feel like the end of a story should? fulfilling rewarding#even a tragic end should all in all feel that way#but it rly feels like.... we followed these characters and their lives and rooted for their beliefs and fights.. for nothing#idk.#i rly do understand what its supposed to mean thematically#but the narrative feels like it just died with a whimper#IDK.#ugh some more closure wouldve been nice#IDKKKKK#kane reads#aot#aot spoilers#snk spoilers
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icb it's the last month without jin !!!!
#my baby i miss him im so excited for him to be back#but also been feeling very ugh about everything bc hybe i hate u zionists i hate u#its a little scary i feel the same love for the boys always always always but ive been feeling kinda disengaged w the actual content#so idkkkkk#I'm just glad hes FREEEEEEE i hope he jas the nicest few weeks back of just chilling
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I took off work today just to make it a long weekend but i should have taken off NEXT Friday so i could stay up to watch pressure cooker play out
#guess I’m working next Friday on 0 hours of sleep 😭#i could just take off next Friday too but i hate taking vacation time so close together IDKKKKK#UGH#bb25
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.... i'd need to save 3.5-4k a month to reach my goal by july......
#.1 am#ok i was scared bc it says ive saved 2k december#but i think from mid november to now i've saved around 4k?#but like i keep saying im working double hours with peak season pay#idkkkkk im looking at seasonal part time jobs i dont want a second job but ugh
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Cw: Harry Potter
My manager has been listening to the Harry Potter audiobooks as we work in the back, without headphones, which I told her I didn’t mind, and I don’t, mostly because I know she’s going through a very rough time in her personal life and I think the books are comforting her and as much as I’ve tried to move on from HP there’s always going to be a part of me that loves it and so I really don’t mind. And it’s kind of funny—both her and I must have loved HP in similarly intense ways as kids bc we have similar favorite book-only parts and lines that we can quote and it’s just. It’s such an odd feeling. We were talking about how you can tell which spells are from Latin and Greek and all that and I said casually, oh yeah it’s bc JKR did linguistics in undergrad, and my manager was like, oh I didn’t know that, and I was like, yeah I did a biography report on her in middle school and I still remember. I still remember she did linguistics and what university she went to and that she used to work for Amnesty fucking International before she turned into what she is today. Idk. Just. The love I used to have. And now it’s all just grief
#idk man i just. ugh.#idkkkkk it feels like all the knowledge you retain from an ex or a friend who’s no longer a friend#like where are you supposed to put all of that
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need to start working but . I Dont Want To....
#i need to finish this chapter but also its kinda making me feel like i should bash my head into the wall#cause i added a bunch of scenes like. flashback scenes in the middle of the Event mainly to reach word count cause this chapter was way too#short but partially to like. idk i guess it fits storywise but idkkkkk like it could very much be taken as dissociation bc its pretty awful#but idkkkk if it fits with pacing wise...ugh well whatever just gotta write it and worst case on my reread if its trash ill just take it ou#but first i got to write it . kms
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First time having soul crushing writers block when I finally have a fandom I been writing consistently for.
#:) *👹👹👹*#it happens I know! but why me!#yap yap yap#atleast I have one fic that’s ready to go#UGH I have this one fic… but idkkkkk#also I have a damn autobiography to write😭#UR GIRL IS LOSING IT!!!
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Okay so I usually have Issues™ with Conan's singles. But. Huh. That was. Truly something.
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#sexcapades#tag talk#ugh gender. I'm slowly narrowing in on it like a target that I have to fire far too many range-finding shots on#unfortunately I'm missing so many shots. each one gives me more information on the heading but it's still annoying work.#I like occasional she/her as a reminder that I'm not cis but I am absolutely not your fucking princess.#I say that because I literally woke up to a text that said “hope you slept well princess” which like. eyeachgh.#I hate good morning texts and I have just discovered I hate being called princess#gender goal is “girl who nobody even notices is a girl because she's one of the boys”#the one who everyone goes “but not you. you're like.. a guy”#ugh. I really do vibe with the “secret third gender” vibe. I made that joke forever ago about my gender being whatever those yaoi boys have#and I stand by it. neither a man nor woman but a secret third thing (he/they anime uke)#anyway. thank you dude last night for the science but I do not think I will be pursuing my studies with you any further.#I've never felt the need to change my pronouns because like. I'm a dude. I like she/her sometimes because it validates my gnc vibes#but like. fashionably she/her but functionally he/they. Idkkkkk I hate gender is annoying#being viewed as 100% woman feels definitely worse than being viewed as 100% man though. that's for damn sure.#gender is “guy who has a suspiciously large chest and narrow waist”#I got questions about spelling my name Robin not Robyn cause apparently Robin is typically the male spelling. and like. that feels right.#skirts feel weird. I'll die before I wear a dress. gender is “teenage girl who will punch you if you can her girly”#thanks for calling me she/her like I asked but unfortunately you have now misgendered me.#plus I don't think I'm kinky enough for him. at least not in the “punish the bad girl” way. which like. there's a gendered dynamic there.#idk. sex and gender are wild and results are still being determined#I envy people who know what they want when they're younger. not all of us are fortunate enough to have that 🙄
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reo or sae plssss omg or rin idk these three r driving me crazy 😭😭
i’ll give you the plot i have so far cuz i think it’s hilarious:
basically you’re dating somebody but you start developing a crush on someone else and instead of doing the normal thing and just not acknowledging it you tell your partner and ask them to help you win over your crush ☠️☠️☠️
it’s like amore mio aiutami (watch it btw it’s so good)
but idk which two characters to use
#if anyone wants to write this feel free to cuz idk if i’ll ever be able to 😦😦😦😭#what do you think anon#also sae and rin would be rlly funny but also#not#so#idkkkkk#ugh this is so hard#what do you think anon 💔💔💔#(✉️) — anon
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