#UGGGGH NEED
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gagging screaming crying choking sliding down the wall banging my fists against the floor when will i be this domestic and sweet with din
pap u really hammered this one out wtf. and it’s a BANGER. everyone go read rn 🫡🤎
Pink In The Night
Pairing: Din Djarin x f! reader
Minors DNI with my work please!!!
A/N: this came to me in a moment of insanity. I love him so much. This was supposed to be less than 1k words, but I truly got carried away. Thank you to my lovely beta reader @carlynkurin! This is semi dedicated to @joeloverture bc vetty did not let me add it to the WIP folder and somehow I finished it in a day so that's neat Once again sticking with the song lyric as the title brand, it is Pink in the Night by Mitski this time LOL. As always, peace and love on the planet Earth from me, and I hope y'all enjoy !!!!
Tags: smut, idiots in love, devotion, oral (f receiving), reader’s skin is called tan and reader has a bush, no other description, semi subby Din, tit worship, lots of semi-religious metaphors, pet names (sweet/pretty girl, my moon, my sun) Din worships reader, reader worships him, soft, established relationship, tooth rottingly sweet, no use of y/n, 18+ Word count: 3.7k
Summary: A night’s serenity with Din has you enveloped in each other.
There was a moment of peace you found yourself in tonight, the sun was low in the sky, not quite setting but it had started to move west. Your toes were dipping in the small creek just beside your home, ripples ebbing and flowing with every movement you made. You could hear the coos of Grogu behind you as Din kept a watchful eye on your son. You laugh softly as Grogu falls to the ground with an unrefined oomph probably exhausted from being allowed to run around all day. You glance at Din with a smile, and he feels like he suddenly can't breathe.
God. that smile of yours. It always gets him and he can't explain why. You just felt like home to him. He moves to sit beside you, armored shoulder bumping your bare one, a refreshing contrast to the warmth of the day “Hey you,” you grin, toes wiggling in the water as you move to lean against him a little more. His arm moves to wrap around you, the leather of his glove somehow rough but soft against your skin simultaneously.
“Hey pretty girl,” he hums, voice still tender even through the modulator. His fingers run aimlessly over your shoulder, feeling the warmth of your skin. “You’re gonna catch a burn” he mumbles, moving his hand to brush a stray lock of your hair off your neck to get a better view.
You snort at him slightly, letting your eyes close in contentment as he touches your skin. “I don't burn, just get tanned” You can feel his unamused gaze, even through the helmet. You knew the look he was giving you. It was the same one he gave you when you refused to sit down when your feet hurt, or when he asked if you had eaten anything when your head ached.
“Your skin is warm to the touch, meshla” he states, leaving absolutely no room for argument. His hand trails over the curve of your neck and traces the outline of your jaw softly, relishing in how soft you are compared to him. He wanted to memorize every curve of your body, never to be allowed a moment to forget them. “Let’s just go inside, the womp rat is already asleep on the blanket anyway” You both glance back at Grogu who sure enough, had tuckered himself out all day and was now curled up on the small blanket you had set up for him. You make a small noise of affirmation and let Din scoop him up, before you bring your feet out of the water, letting them dry slightly on the ground before walking in after Din, and shutting the door softly. You watch with a small smile as Din tucks Grogu into his bed, relishing in the domesticity of it all; being in your home, watching your husband tuck your son into bed after you spent the day in the sun with the both of them. It was something you would never get over.
Din steps out of Grogu’s room, helmet discarded by the main door, and finds his eyes locked on your figure. There was so much love in those eyes, so much pain, and hardness, but when you saw them all you could feel was warmth. The chocolate brown of his eyes, deeper than any ocean, warmer than any fire, felt like home to you. He raises his now gloveless hand to skim the skin of your shoulder, brows wrinkling together a little as he feels the skin still warm under him. “Meshla you’re still warm” his touch was so soft, almost like he thought you would break if he was any firmer.
You give him a light-hearted roll of your eyes as he ushers you into your bedroom, backing you onto your bed with an ungraceful thump “Din it’s not a burn-” you laugh softly at his insistence, but he wasn't having it. He makes quick work of removing his armor, the sound of beskar soothing to your ears before he turns back to face you.
“Take off your shirt” The bluntness of his words catches you off guard for a moment, your mouth opening and closing with a lack of words.
You can see him biting back a smirk at your falter “Baby what-?” you gape at him. It wasn't that you didn't want to, you were just absolutely baffled.
“Take. Off. your. shirt,” he repeats himself, emphasizing every word. “I'm gonna put lotion on you, you’re too warm.” and there’s that smirk. You roll your eyes at him tossing off the soft tank top and throwing it in his direction before laying down on the bed on your stomach.
Din could die a happy man right now. He thinks that if the maker struck him down, right this instant, he would be okay with it. The sight of you, relaxed on his bed, wearing nothing but a pair of loose shorts, waiting for him to use his hands on you was almost too much for him to bear. He moves to sit behind you on the bed, essentially straddling the backs of your legs, and grazes your back softly. Mapping out the freckles and dips of your skin, tracing the soft tan lines, just in awe of you every single time.
He lets out a shaky exhale before taking a bit of the lotion into his hands and massaging it softly into your back, feeling your body instantly relax at the coolness of it “Is that okay pretty girl?” he whispers, hands pressing gently down your back and shoulders, feeling the curve of your spine. You nod your head, face resting on a pillow, and peek up at him with a small content smile.
“Yeah.. yeah it's nice Din..” you murmur at him, voice low and solace. You felt him continue the motions on your back, hands almost reverent against your skin, almost as if you were the beads of a rosary he was slipping between his fingers. His hands slip to your lower back and brush the waist of your shorts, a silent plea hanging in his touch. You lift your hips slightly, letting him tug them off with a touch much too delicate for someone who has been hunting bounties for years.
You coo slightly when his hands rub lotion onto your ass, his touch featherlight and tentative. “Is this okay?” you hear him ask, your response coming out in the form of a silent nod, eyes closed enjoying the feeling of his hands on you. “You’re always so soft. So perfect..” his hands continue their tender movements, hands slipping between your legs and grazing your thighs but never touching your heated core, he was going to drag this out for you. “Stars…” he admires “you’re so... perfect... so beautiful…” his words are less for your ears and more just his internal dialogue being voiced. His hands continue down your legs to your ankles and then back up, tapping your hip to get you to roll over.
You turn over, body laid bare for him. The evening sun peering through the window had your skin bathed in warmth. You looked up at him with half-lidded eyes, a lazy smile at the sight of him. Your hand reached up to cup his cheek, the feeling of his beard coarse against the smooth skin of your palm. He immediately leans into your caress, seeking more of you, wanting to envelop himself in you completely, to give himself up to you as much as he can. His eyes gaze over the sight of you laid out under him, the way your breasts rise and fall with each breath, the tan lines on your skin, the curves and dips of your body. He was going to memorize you, to be yours completely. “Can I touch you?”
“Always Din..” your murmur leaves no room for argument and sends his head reeling. He shifts so his clothed hips are pressed against you, and his face is nestled under the curve of your breast. You sigh as his warm breaths hit your skin, just watching him admire you. His hands trace the curve of your waist and his lips dip to the valley between your breasts. He licks a small stripe between them, eyes drifting shut, relishing the way you taste. Your eyes are slightly hazy, overwhelmed with the sight of him practically revering you. His lips move to press kisses over one of your breasts, lips tentative and gentle before he takes your nipple between your lips, a pleased sigh leaving your throat.
He feels a jolt of electricity rack through him at the sounds you make, the sounds he makes you make. His lips leave your nipple, moving to the other one. He hums around it, your back arching at the sensation. His tongue swirls and flicks at the sensitive peak in his mouth, his hand softly tweaking and kneading the other breast. “Maker above” he groans, pulling off of you with a pop, “I love these so much. Stars you’re perfect” his hands go to massage both of them, thumbs sliding over your nipples making your breathing tremble slightly
“Feels so good Din..” his hands haven’t stopped their ministrations, moving softly and gently as ever, taking his time to make you feel good. He grins at your words, the praise going straight to his cock, but that could wait. He just wanted to make you feel good today.
“Yeah cyare? You like my hands on you?” his hands don’t still as he asks, his face pressed against the soft of your stomach, peering up at you.
Your back arches again as he presses a few kisses under your breasts and across your ribs. “Yeah baby” you sigh “like when you’re soft with me..”
He thinks his brain short-circuits for a minute. Din was not known to be soft. He was the hardened bounty hunter turned marshal of Nevarro, a stone-cold killer, nearly undefeated. But not to you. He was the man who rubbed the bottom of your feet when you had been standing too long, a caring father, the love of your life. He was softest when he was with you when he was in the presence of someone who made him forget what his legacy was and allowed him to be himself.
“I’ll be soft..” his words are barely audible with his face pressed into your chest “I am yours..” he keeps his lips pressed against the skin of your ribs, his hands still cupping your breasts. “Always yours,” he mumbles as his lips find your nipple again, taking the pebbled nub into his mouth and letting his tongue swirl around it. Your hands fist in his hair, not pulling, just grounding him and yourself in each others’ touch “My perfect girl... my everything..” his words were slightly slurred, getting drunk on you. “Stars.. I want to taste you” he looks up at you, his pupils dark and blown, lost in his ecstasy. His hips grind down slowly against yours, his need taking over involuntarily.
Your lazy sighs and moans fill the room, mingling with the sounds of the bugs and townspeople outside of your window. His lips trace their way down your chest, following the path down your abdomen, licking small stripes against your skin as he goes. “So good to me din..” you sigh, lips parting and eyes fluttering as you glance down at him.
He lets out an uneven breath, his brown eyes drinking your body in. He sits up slightly between your legs and swallows roughly, as he takes in the sight of you. The sun was practically making you glow, casting a halo of gold around you, your lips were parted and red from biting at them. “You’re so beautiful my sun… so so beautiful” You feel your skin warm at his words, despite how often he praises you it never ceases to make you melt like putty in his hands. He can see the reaction on your face, the slight flush of your skin stirring something possessive and needy inside of him. “Kriff-” he makes a sound somewhere between a moan and a whimper, “kriff i need you, i need you my sun,”
You huff out a warm laugh and he thinks that it was warmer than the heat of any sun he had been in the presence of. You were his sun, you were his entire galaxy. “Go on in, I want you too my moon,” your words are soft, gentler than he thinks he deserves, but you never use anything other than that soft voice with him.
“You’re sure..?” his hands trace over your thigh. Despite being fully bare and needy in front of him, Din is always sure to ask, never wanting to overstep, never wanting to hurt you even if by accident. His eyes are searching yours, looking for any sign of second guesses or hesitance, but are only met with utter devotion and need
“I’m always sure” you whisper gently, looking up at him like he had personally set every star in the galaxy out there for you, like your entire heart and soul were his, and his were yours. He didn’t need to be told a second time, his lips finding your skin once again, tracing the same path down your body, licking over the ticklish skin of your belly button, nipping gently at the skin of your hip, until he’s hovering right above the coarse curls nestled on your body. You twitch slightly at the brush of his stubble against your stomach, your hand stroking through his hair absentmindedly.
He lets out a small rumble of affection as he watches your chest rise and fall from his place between your legs. His mouth moves down to the curls just above your aching cunt and presses soft kisses into them, breathing in the smell of you. “You smell so kriffing good stars-” he practically whimpers at you, your breath catching as your hips jerk up inadvertently, yearning to catch some of his touch.
“Maker I love these” his lips continue to press kisses at the hairs on your mound, your skin heating at the praise, before his lips move slowly down, teasingly slow, before they press down over your slick folds. His nose nudges you open softly, and you cry out hands tightening in his hair, when it bumps your clit. “Smell so fucking good, bet you taste so perfect for me too ” he whines as his tongue lays a flat stripe against you.
There was that filthy mouth of his. Somehow managing to be both incredibly sweet and debauched at the same time in ways that made your head spin. His tongue laps at you, gentle kitten licks at first, before it starts to work in lazy circles against your clit. He lets out a hum of laughter when your hand tightens in the sheets, a moan breaking out of your chest when his lips kiss and suck on that bundle of nerves. “Taste better every single time, Sun” he murmurs, collecting your slick on his tongue.
“Stars-” your voice breaks in a whimpered moan, the feeling of his lips pressing open-mouthed kisses over your cunt making you writhe in his touch. His tongue darts out to lap at the slick that practically drools out of you eagerly like he was getting ambrosia straight from the gods. You tasted heavenly, and he simply could never get enough. He moans into your skin every so often, the vibrations sending shocks that go down your spine.
The hand that wasn’t holding your hip was entangled with yours, his fingers rubbing your knuckles in a tender caress. The soothing motion is almost second nature to the two of you, one you use during any moment you can spare. “Maker” you cry out when his beard scratches the soft skin of your pussy, “all for you din, I’m all yours.” your words send a rush of possession through his body, his tongue lapping at you faster, almost like he was claiming you as his.
His tongue goes back to dart at your dripping hole, pushing past your entrance and moaning at the taste of you. He flicks his tongue in you a few times, your back arching in response before he pulls off of you. He looks ragged with his mouth covered in your wetness and his hair clinging to his forehead, while sweat drips down his skin. “Maker above you taste so fucking sweet.. my sweet girl.”
He moves back down, lips fervently attached to your clit, pulling moan after moan from your mouth. Your legs tremble as his mouth focuses on its new target, and you feel the coil inside you tightening, bringing you to that peak.
“Oh, shit-” you cry out as your legs tighten around his head, a hoarse moan leaving his mouth at the feeling. “Din, baby fuck, I'm gonna cum-” Your breathing is unsteady, coming out in sharp pants and gasps.
“That's it sweet girl” he hums into your skin, tongue never stopping its rapid movements “cum on my tongue baby, let me taste you, sweet girl” Your cunt pulses as you cum for him, his tongue working you through the high of your orgasm. Your sounds are like a choir in his ears, and if lack of air between your legs killed him he wouldn't mind, it would be an honor to die like that. The combination of those, coupled with how damn sweet you taste, had him rolling his hips into the mattress searching for any sort of relief for his aching cock.
Your eyes are hazy as you come down from your climax, your legs going limp on the bed. You can see Din rutting into the mattress, a new burst of arousal flooding you. “Din.. baby… I want you..” you practically purr at him, voice dripping with almost as much need as your cunt. Your words raise a guttural whine to leave his chest, his breathing labored.
“Please,” the tone of his voice is almost one of supplication, begging you for salvation “Please, I need to be inside you, please-” your hands are already making quick work of undoing his belt, your need for him primal.
His belt comes off with a click and you can feel yourself drooling at the sound, almost Pavlovian how quickly you react “Din, please please I want you, baby put it in I can't wait,” your own pleas match his in desperation. Both of you yearned for each other in ways that were incomprehensible, in ways that could keep you whole for the rest of time simply if you could bask in the shadow of the other.
Din pulls his pants off, throwing them somewhere across the room, and you finally see him. Thick and pretty as ever, dripping pre-cum, practically throbbing and aching to be inside your warmth. You shuffle your hips down so he can line up with you, shaky exhales leaving both your lips when he drags the heavy weight of him over your sensitive heat. He gathers some of your wetness on his cock, coating it before he slips into you, curses flying out of both of your mouths. “Fuck Din,” you cry out as his tip pushes into you, the familiar stretch of him making you ache for more. He pushes into you further, making your toes curl and one of your hands grabs at your breast.
“So good for me,” he groans out, pushing himself further, almost lost in how good you felt around him. Tight and wet, molding around him like you were made for each other. He pushes himself in all the way, buried inside you to the hilt, and it was like a puzzle piece. You were crafted just for him, and he was for you. There was nobody else for either of you.
Din sinks down on the bed, his hips flush against yours, only propped up on an elbow to keep from crushing you under him. “My perfect girl..” he sighs, not thrusting but simply rocking against you. “My perfect fucking girl... I love you I love you I love you” he nestles his head on your shoulder, pressing kisses on your collarbone and neck. He snakes one hand around your waist, pulling you up to his body, chests pressed together, and you cling to each other.
“Your girl..” you sigh, your hips moving gently, the friction of his coarse hair against your clit giving you enough stimulation to feel that familiar peak building slowly “Your girl.. Yours..” his lips move against your skin, his touch and presence engulfing you the way that you craved with him.
His hips move a little faster, his need for you evident in the way his fingers grip you. “So kriffing beautiful like this.” he cries out, biting your collar gently “So perfect… so good under me like this..” you can feel his hips growing a tinge frantic, his orgasm building after who knows how long of staving it off to focus on you. You let one of your hands drift to your clit, not even needing to move your hand, just needing a slight bit of extra pressure while he moves inside of you.
“I love you, Din. I love you so much, I love you,” you cry out as his movements turn to shallow shaky thrusts, his lips parted against your skin in silent prayers to you. “Cum with me, please I want to feel you, I want you in me, I want to be yours Din.” your fingers move gently, pushing you over the edge towards your climax.
The feeling of your walls clamping down around him pushes him over with you. His cock twitched inside of you with groans and cries of pleasure leaving his mouth as his cum fills you. “Perfect fucking girl,” his words are blubbering sounds, mostly coming out between gasps and moans “Take me so well, made for me.”
Din rolls you on top of him, letting you both catch your breaths while you cling to each other like it would be physically painful to be separated. His hand strokes up and down your back, skin warm to the touch but not for reasons he could think to criticize. Your eyes droop, the pleasure and feeling of domesticity seeping into your bones. “I love you, my moon.” you coo at him, sleep taking over your body.
“I love you too, my sun..” he replies, his own body beginning to doze off, his hands still wrapped around your body.
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thinking about this kaishin magazine cover like
kaishin dressing up together. kaishin naked together. (they could've dressed up in different rooms tho? IDC THEY DRESSED UP TOGETHER)
kaito in the kid suit but without the hat and monocle like that's really all just kaito there and similarly shinichi putting on the bowtie reminiscent of conan but it's all just shinichi there. then again it could also mean kid and conan will always be part of who they are
KAITO WITH NO GLOVES OH GOD OH FUCK
KAITO LEANING ON SHINICHI??? WHAT THE FUCK
KAITO LEANING ON SHINICHI WITH NO GLOVES????? OH FUCK WHAT THE GOD OH FUCK
that shinichi fit, the toned down blue and red from his originally bright colored suit and bowtie......😳
kaito with his hip jutted out like that??? SIR.
shinichi's background are books and kaito's is what seems to be a jewelry box oooohh the big brainery happening behind them
me seeing their reflection on the mirror thinking about how easy it would be for kaito to just slip his hand around shinichi's waist and tuck his chin on shinichi's shoulder, watch shinichi attempt to fix his bow on the mirror and kaito inevitably fixing it for him, looking up at shinichi with the biggest grin and shinichi pressing his lips against his as a thank you
me seeing the inside of kaito's suit thinking how easy it would be for shinichi to let his hand slip and explore around kaito's body, trying to avoid activating his little gadgets like it's a game, holding kaito's gaze with a smirk on his face, moving forward to carefully remove kaito's suit jacket off, his neck right in front of kaito who licks and leaves a mark on his bare skin just cause he can
also maybe the mirror symbolizes that they're mirror images of each other?????
KAITO AND SHINICHI. IN ONE FRAME. TOGETHER. RAAAAHHHHHH
implied, they've seen each other's face. implied, they're not hostile therefore they must have talked and have come to an understanding. implied, they know each other's identity. implied, inevitably they will be making out after this i don't make the rules they just will.
#kaishin#kuroba kaito#kudou shinichi#dcmk#detective conan#dc prattles#I KEEP STARING AT THIS#LIKE THEY'RE REALLY TOGETHER. KAITO AND SHINICHI. NOT KID AND CONAN. IN ONE FRAME.#I LOOK AND DIE A THOUSAND DEATHS#I LOOK AGAIN AND THEY RESURRECT ME FOR ANOTHER THOUSAND LIVES#RAAAAAAAHHHHHH#god i love kaishin in formal attire#theyre so stupid sexy handsome#i need them to kiss each other silly and make each other laugh so bad uggggh i love them ;-;#thank you anan mag 🙏
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“Do you SEE me now ‘father’ ? Bigger. Better. Stronger.”
“Magnificent”
“. . .”
(headcanon) Part 1 Part2
Without the lighting:
#uggggh#frothing in the mouth i need more dadfrey#fromsoft pls#platonic angst#proud dadfrey moment#look all i am saying is Mohg doesn’t need crucible spells that last 3 seconds for his wings#they are the REAL DEAL#and i think Godfrey would fucking love that#Mohg does his bleed attacks and Godfrey just struts around like a very happy professor#mohg the lord of blood#godfrey the first elden lord#hoarah loux#elden ring#elden ring headcanon
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For this pride month I will think about fucking that old man twice as much ^_^
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man i really should fix up the roach head/mask i made years ago. Ill have to check if i still have the cowl-backing that i had to take off to repaint it. it would look soooo fucking cool with my necromancer coat....
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I have finally hit 30k on my current book draft and this section is roughly outlined to my liking and I have worked out a number of later plot kinks in the process and truly, if I can get through this and the next section before the New Year, I might actually stand a chance of finishing this thing with some efficiency. And thank FUCK.
#really the trouble is gonna be when class starts up again. but that's for later megs to deal with.#however if I can miraculously get through three next THREE sections before the new year I'll be done like two weeks into January.#wouldn't THAT be a miracle#megs is writing#for real this time!!!#it's wild too cuz like... this feels like a first draft but technically it's a fourth#so it's possible I won't even need to do THAT much editing once it's done#we'll see but#the farther I go the more I'm like. okay okay okay.#while simultaneously being convinced I'm gonna fuck it up on the next scene but#also the more text that i know doesn't have to be tossed entirely the easier it is to also be like 'okay but rewriting one scene is fine'#ANYWAY i am once again overachieving on writing goals but i am also once again feeling like overachieving is REALISTIC#and what a miracle that is after this fucking year#uggggh i also gotta start learning python tho FUCK
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tonight i’m thinking about a fucked out baby bucky and his daddy that still wants to hear that baby’s praise
there’s nothing sweeter than that blessed filth that comes out of bucky’s mouth when he gets floaty, when he gets messy, when he gets filled up to the brim with cock, and Daddy wants to hear it, even when bucky’s brain gets silly because his little hole is so full
so he’ll say shit like, “Go on, tell Daddy how good it feels,” and “Daddy’s cock is so big, isn’t it?” and bucky has no choice but to moan and whine and uh uh uh and stupidly repeat after Daddy
“It’s so good, Daddy. Feels so good, so fucking good” and “S’big, it’s such a big cock, how does it even fit?”
and Daddy eats that shit up, can get exactly what he wants to hear as long as he helps his baby get there, gives him those little questions and commands to get the hiccups and moans and whimpers and sweet sweet baby talk he wants to hear in return
“That good for you, sugar? You like it when Daddy’s a little rough with you? When it hurts a little?”
“Make it hurt, Daddy! Make it hurt so good, I love it, I love it, more…”
#k is thinking#daddy steve and baby bucky#I’m just so HOT for them tonight#I can’t get Bucky’s baby talk out of my head can you tell uggggh#I’m having filthy stevie thoughts too UGH#😵💫🥴😵💫🥴😵💫🥴😵💫#I need to go jerk off or something lol
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There is a few different things I want to write after the newest audio...gonna hide under a cut, just in case
The first one is DUMP raiding the building, Sunshine and Scorpius being found during the 'memory wipe' and escorted out of the building. They're waiting a few blocks down, not wanting to be in the way but still wanting to know what happens. It's been hours but neither can bring themselves to leave.
Elliot arrives with Aaron and Smart-ass, rushing to embrace Sunshine. The two share a tear filled embrace, not wanting to let the other go because if they do, if they can't feel their love in their arms, at their fingertips, they might just vanish.
Eventually, they notice a commotion at the building as paramedics wheel out a gurney and a body covered with a tarp that gets blown away just enough to confirm who it was covering.
Elliot only held Sunshine closer as he saw Blake's body, the hatred in his eyes only matched by the venom in his voice as he muttered "Good fucking riddance"
Sunshine's grip on his arm made his gaze return to them, seeing their gaze on a person that was in the crowd, a person they'd only seen once before in a dream.
The two reunited loves watch as the person jolts free from the paralysis that had held them, their steps faltering before they were rushing to the gurney to pull away the tarp, confirming their worst fear before a mangled sob tears through their throat. Their body crumpling to the ground as they weep and scream for the childhood friend, the newly rekindled love, that was just torn away from them.
Elliot jolted as Sunshine slipped from his arms, his hand outstretched to them as they walked over to Blake's grieving love. Sunshine put their hand on their shoulder, trying to be a grounding force for them, trying to convey to them that they weren't alone... they couldn't find it in themselves to blame them for what their captor had done...they knew what desperation to protect the person you loved could make you do.
"He...he really loved you....all he wanted was to keep you safe."
✶⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⊷❍⊶⊷⊶⊷⊷⊶⊷✶
And then this keeps going through my mind because of the Blake=Hush theory
"Who's 'Blake'?"
Doc ground their teeth together at Hush's question, biting back various responses that were on the tip of their tongue. You! How can you not remember who you used to be?! What happened after...after the Shade?
They knew the first night that they'd had their fateful encounter with Hush that he didn't recognize them...didn't remember who he used to be... but they knew it was him. His body had changed some...it'd been years since they saw him and who knows what had happened after Blake had...had died. But they could never forget him, they could hear bits of his voice when Hush spoke...could see it in the way he smiled when he looked at them. The way their core ached and felt whole again after feeling so empty after his death...
"Sorry, Hush... he's...he was...someone very dear to me... you remind me of him a lot..." Doc's voice shook a bit before they cleared it, turning away from those inquisitive eyes to clean up the remnants of the meal they had just shown Hush to make...a meal Blake had made for them often.
They tried to see if he'd remember...any of it. But food didn't work, or the pictures they showed him of the places they'd gone together. He didn't even respond when they brought up that damm cult in passing. Maybe his memories were gone completely, not buried under whatever had been done to him? They couldn't stop the tears that slipped free at the thought that the Blake they knew...was well and truly gone.
They jumped as gentle fingertips traced along their cheek, catching a few tears before they dropped. Hush looked panicked, and they couldn't help but remember that it was an almost identical expression to the time Blake had when they'd cried over the loss of their first pet to him. They'd both been so young, Blake hadn't known what to do when they had erupted into tears and babbling sobs.
"Doc...please don't cry...I don't know how to help you...what do I do? Why...why do you hurt so much? How do I make it stop? I don't want you to hurt" his hands cupped each side of their face, thumbs wiping away their tears like if he could stop the tears, they'd feel better. It made a wobbly smile curl their lips as they covered his hand with theirs, pressing it closer as they sniffed.
"I'll be okay Hush...just...can you stay like this for a bit?" He gave them a quick nod and fell into an unnatural stillness that they still weren't used to.
"Just tell me what to do, Doc"
Tell me what happened? How did you come to be? Are you Blake? Or am I just deluding myself? How can I find the answers? Who has the answers?
The only thing that came to mind sent a shiver down their spine. The only connection that Blake and Hush shared...was the so called Weavers, the Sovereigns. Even then it was a long shot, the gods that Closeknit had been so invested in...they'd thought it was just legend, myths...until Hush had said he was going to free them...but if they were gods...wouldn't they have the answers? Gods were omnipotent, right? And it was their only connection, as flimsy as it was...
Maybe if they helped Hush free them, they could ask...
#redacted asmr#redacted audio#uggggh i need sleep#sorry these are probably a mess to read#but if i dont get it out my brain wont shut up#might expand on these#but for now have some rambles
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Pray for me I start a new job today 😩
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Hi hello that Loki ending had me feeling so emotionally devastated I don’t know what to do anymore
#thanks for coming to my Ted talk#Loki spoilers#why was it beautiful#and devastating?#loki was always meant to be burdened with glorious purpose I guess#he said he just didn’t want to be alone#and now??????#and the tree????#I’m crying again it’s as beautiful and so devastating#I need to read so many fanfics#loki#please I just can’t handle this#mobius was so sad#and so worried#and uggggh#he knew something was up the whole time#and was loki listening to them at then end???#is it saying he’s watching over them even though he can’t be with them#I need to leave#I do love his character arc tho#loki just loves them all so much he does what’s necessary to give them a chance#and that’s so beautiful to me I really can’t get over this ending#I’m gonna rewatch the show now cuz I still haven’t processed this fully
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This better not be in his future.
#(AGAIN THEY DON'T EXIST YET BUT HE'S CRINGING)#(DON'T TRY TO SET HIM UP WITH ANYBODY LOL)#dash commentary [it's the latest gossip!]#musings [lore and ideas]#(i need to makes tags for this fucker also uggggh)
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Me: has a conversation about hard things, it goes really well, you both try to be kind.
Me: feels physically ill and like I never want to talk or think again
#uggggh#trauma wounds#and#triggering#are so freaking hard#perfectionism#unlearning old patterns#relationships#mental health#emotional health#trying to say I don’t need to be#perfect…#I’m allowed to take up space#even imperfectly#with changing opinions and not having all the answers#trying to tell myself#good relationships#include uncomfortable conversations#uggggj#why is humaning so hard#and when will I not#feel traumatized by it?#ocd#neurological Lyme disease#my rambles
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Chanting to myself, as uni results and my degree classification are being published in 5 minutes: *your grades do not define your worth. Your grades do not define your worth. Your grades repensent such a tiny thing of who you are and your skills*
#I don’t really believe they define me and I care a whole lot less#but still#being brought up to think they care makes it difficult to shake off#I don’t even need them for my job#uggggh I hate it#questwithambition#it’s two minutes now#studyblr#univeristy#rambles
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currently feeling catastrophically bored (like, the only thing i can do is stare at the ceiling levels of bored) so i've decided to try and dig up more completely forgotten kids in the hall related media. not even because i need it for the buddy cole doc just bc i'm in the mood for a rabbit hole lmao
#this is probably gonna be all scott-related bc my starting point is the pdfs i have of old interviews for the buddy cole doc#i'm gonna read until he mentions some project i never looked into and then google that and go from there if it links to another thing#nine days until i'm back in toronto. one month until i'm back in school. uggggh i feel like i'm in storage rn i need enrichment
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// THESE NEW MOVES/REWORKS FOR MY MAIN FFXIV CLASSES. I'M DROOLIN', SQUARE ENIX!!!
#[ DANCER + RED MAGE + NINJA LOOK SO GOOOOD AHHHH#dragoon too but... slightly less impressive lmfao#UGGGGH I NEED DAWNTRAIL YESTERDAAAAAY ]#ooc ; out of character
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starting another duolingo course like "this one will fix me"
#it won't but at least I'll be able to read welsh#i really should stop doing this and finish the fucking Italian one but#uggggh it goes so slowly by the end and i really just need to start reading Italian more#cuz at this point I'm really inhibited by a lack of context
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