#Tyler is totally dorky enough to do it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blurry-fics · 5 years

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Chapter Twenty One

Where Did We Go | Series Masterlist

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2083

Author’s Note: This is mentioned in the chapter, but I just want to make sure it’s super clear that there’s a time jump! This is a little more than a year after the last chapter, aka the night before the wedding. I hope you enjoy this chapter! :) (picture credit)

You grabbed one of the boxes off the top shelf and passed it down to Tyler, who was standing near your hip. He took it from you and set it down among the others, fanning away some of the dust as he did so. Since tomorrow was your wedding, you and Tyler had decided to pull down all your old boxes of memories and look at some of the things that you had decided to keep throughout the course of your relationship before you started a new chapter together.

“I think that’s everything,” you said, feeling around the shelf one more time to make sure nothing was hidden in a dark corner.

“I didn’t realize you had so many of these,” Tyler said, looking around the small pile at his feet. “We have a lot to go through.”

“We don’t have to look through everything, just the important stuff.”

Tyler held a hand out to you and helped you jump down from the chair you had been standing on. Together, you carried the boxes downstairs. Now that summer had finally come again, you often found yourselves in the living room with the windows open, enjoying the warm breeze and each other’s company. The last couple months since the hiatus began had been peaceful, to say the least.

“Where do we even start?” Tyler asked. He was now sitting cross legged on the floor across from you, his hands rested on his knees.

“Wherever you want. You know all of my deepest, darkest secrets now, so not much is off limits.”

Tyler’s mouth slowly grew into a smile. You watched him for a moment, wondering if he had some sort of plan, but he simply said, “Ok.”

You grabbed a box near you and slowly took the top off. Based on the things you could see on the top of the pile inside, it held memories from a few years ago, right around the time that Tyler had been working on writing Blurryface.

“Hey, look at this!” Tyler said, grabbing a photo from the box he was looking in. “We’re so small.”

He passed the photo over to you. It was of you and Tyler at one of his basketball games, most likely taken by either his mom or sister. The two of you were sitting on the sidelines, evidently before a game had started based on the lack of sweat on Tyler’s face. Tyler had one arm around you and you were both smiling, but you could tell by your expression that you were trying to hide how excited you were about snuggling up next to Tyler.

“Look at my face,” you laughed. “My smile is so dorky.”

“Your smile is so dorky? Look at mine!”

“You look cute! I look like I’m trying not to pass out from excitement.”

“Maybe we were both just dorks in high school,” Tyler said, taking the picture back from you.

“Would you ever have thought that those dorky kids would end up getting married?”

“I think there were a couple people that thought it might happen, but I thought I was always going to be too scared to tell you how I feel.”

“Was putting your arm around me your way of trying to hint at it?”

“Maybe,” Tyler laughed.

You turned back to your box of things and started to dig through it. There were all sorts of things in there, ranging from pictures of Max when he was a newborn to bits of Tyler’s lyrics that you had held on to.

“Wait, look at this,” you smiled, grabbing a piece of plastic from inside the box. “It’s my pass for when I came along on the Quiet is Violent tour.”

“And then we had to rush home from Mexico because Marenna was starting to go into labor?”

“Yes,” you laughed. “I think that was the most stressful day of my life.”

Tyler reached out and grabbed the pass from you and looked over it. “Do you keep all of your passes?”

“Of course I do. I keep everything, Ty.”

“I knew that,” he smiled. “I just didn’t know if it was deemed important enough for the box.”

“It’s my fiancé’s tour! Obviously it’s going to go in the box.”

“Soon to be husband.”

“I know, I can hardly believe it.”

Tyler handed the pass back to you and you carefully tucked it away into the box among the rest of the things. You continued to look for other interesting trinkets, but didn’t come up with much. Tyler, on the other hand, seemed to be finding all sorts of treasures.

“Wait, I remember this!” he grinned, pulling a crumpled piece of notebook paper out of one of the boxes. Your handwriting on the front was unmistakable.

“Oh no.”

“Will you finally read it to me now?”

“Let me look at it first. Just because we’re getting married now doesn’t mean this is any less embarrassing.”

Tyler reluctantly passed the letter off to you. You gently unfolded it and scanned the first paragraph, unable to hold back a shy smile as you did so. Although your feelings hadn’t changed since you wrote the letter - if anything, they had grown stronger - there was still a tinge of embarrassment as you remembered what things had been like when you were fifteen.

“Are you going to read it to me?”

“Ok, ok, I’ll read it.” You cleared your throat and glanced at Tyler once more before you began to read. “Dear Tyler, I’m writing this letter to you because there’s something very important that I have to tell you. I’ve been trying to find the right way to say this, and after a lot of thinking I’ve decided that the best way is to tell you through writing, because every time I want to tell you in person, I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

“Did you actually?” he asked.

“Yes, do you remember that time that we were hanging out in your backyard and I told you I needed to tell you something and then said that my stomach hurt?”

“That sounds familiar.”

“That’s why,” you laughed. “Anyway, continuing on. Tyler, I like you. I like like you. I don’t know if you’ll even believe me because you’re my best friend and I know we joke around with one another a lot, but I mean this completely seriously. I’ll even pinky promise you if you ask. And in case you still aren’t convinced, I made a list down below of twenty reasons I think you’re the coolest and cutest guy on Earth.”

“Yes, this is my favorite part,” Tyler grinned.

“Number one: good at basketball. Number two: fluffy hair. Number three: pretty eyes.”

“Do you still think my eyes are pretty?”

“I still believe everything that I wrote on this list,” you smiled. Tyler’s cheeks quickly flushed red. “Do you want me to keep going?”

“Yes, I’ve been waiting years to hear the rest of this list.”

“Number four: luscious lips, with a heart next to it, no less. Number five: a really cute smile. And dimples. Number six: really nice laugh. Number seven: the best singing, and talking, voice I’ve ever heard. Number eight: good dance moves. Number nine: you always tell the best jokes. Number ten: you never fail to make me smile. Oh no, this is where it starts to get really sappy.”

“You said you would read it to me,” he pouted, sticking out his lower lip.

“I will! I just might get a little emotional,” you laughed.

Tyler scooted closer so that he could rest a hand on your knee, gently rubbing his thumb along it. You looked up at him and smiled.

“Alright. Number eleven: you always seem to know when I’m feeling down and can cheer me right back up again. Number twelve: you always let me play the music I like when we hang out, even if it’s not your favorite. Number thirteen: I know you’ll always have my back. Number fourteen: I feel like the most important person in the room when you’re around. Number fifteen: you’ve never once turned your back on me, even if we get in an argument. Number sixteen: you sing to me when I’m sad. Number seventeen: you didn’t ditch me, even when you got on varsity basketball and became popular. Number eighteen: you allow me to totally be myself when we hang out, even if I’m kind of dorky. Number nineteen: you’re somehow super attractive and super cool. Number twenty: you’re genuinely the funniest, sweetest, most supportive guy that I’ve ever met and I would be stupid not to have a crush on you.” This was when you really started to get emotional. Tears started to brim in your eyes, threatening to spill over. Tyler took notice, but let you finish speaking before saying anything. “So, Tyler, that’s why I have a crush on you. I know we agreed that we would always be friends, but unfortunately you’re too cool and I ended up having feelings for you. Even if you don’t return them, hopefully this doesn’t ruin our friendship and we can just pretend this never happened. Love, Y/N.”

“I don’t think that was embarrassing at all,” Tyler said, pulling you closer as you folded up the paper. “Fifteen year old Tyler would have been happy to read that. Why are you crying?”

“They’re happy tears,” you explained, wiping one away with the back of your finger. “It’s just… I remember sitting at my desk and writing this out when I was younger. I was already pretty sure that I wasn’t going to give it to you because I knew you didn’t feel the same, but a small part of me still wanted to just to test it out. I never did, obviously, and as time went on I started to lose hope and then the truth or dare incident happened, which confirmed my fears, and when you dropped out of college, I really thought that was going to be the end for us. Never in a million years did I expect to be sitting here with you, on the night before our wedding in our house, looking over these letters and realizing that everything I dreamt of came true.”

Tyler pulled you even closer so that your knees were pressed together. He took the paper from you, setting it back in its proper box, and then took hold of your hands. You looked up at him, feeling a bit embarrassed about the fact that you were crying.

“I’m sorry that I ever made you feel that way, and let me tell you, I wish every day that I had just ignored the things my head was telling me and told you how I felt the very first day that I realized I was in love with you. I never, ever want to make you feel like that again.”

You shook your head, “It’s ok, Ty. The past is the past, and all that matters is that we’re together now.”

“I love you so much, Y/N. I swear I could spend hours talking about you.”

“Save it for tomorrow, Joseph.”

“Maybe I will, Y/L/N.”

“Can’t call me that for long,” you grinned.

“I know.”

Tyler rested a hand on the side of your face and pulled you towards him until your lips met in the middle. All of your worries were quickly forgotten as the world faded away until nothing was left but you and Tyler.

He finally pulled away, resting his forehead against yours. You took a moment to admire his chocolate brown eyes up close. It was something you would never get tired of.

“Do you think I should finish writing my vows?” Tyler whispered.

“Ty!” you smiled, leaning back. “Have you not finished writing?”

“I’m kidding! I finished them last week. It was easy once I realized all I had to do was talk about how much I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“I can’t believe we’re actually getting married tomorrow,” he said, idly playing with your hands.

“I know, it doesn’t feel like it’s actually happening.”

“But it is,” he smiled.

His eyes slowly met yours, instantly bringing heat to your cheeks. Every day you found yourself wondering how you had been lucky enough to fall in love with someone like Tyler. There was nobody else you would rather spend the rest of your life with.

“I can’t wait to marry you.”

* * * * *

Taglist

@tylersheavydirtysoul @faceofcontvsions @ohprettyweeper @shaytwentyonep @tyler-josephs-floof @angelicopioid @topownsmyheart @harishaanne @addictwithaheavydirtycheetah @somethingboutyou1 @boiled-onionrings @heythereitm3 @gaysludge @breadbinishigh @5secondsofmoxley @patdsinner33 @littlerachelbee @royal-avengers

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twoidiotwriters1 · 5 years

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Starcrossed Losers XII (Josh Wheeler xReader)

A/N: We get some growth over here, we also get awkward interaction between crushes but overall I really like this chapter :’)

Words: 4,661

Warnings: Cursing and tons of stupid.

Previous chapter // Next chapter

To say I was busy the next day was an understatement. Apparently, the word had spread that I was the one who knew how to treat injuries and kids would bring me their friends so I could cure them.

What.

Yeah, I know. Do I look like a fucking doctor? Exactly. Yet, if I was fair with them we didn’t have plenty of choices, so I decided to do my best.

I was not alone in my duties, Alex had joined (probably to compensate all of our awkward moments and maybe cause he’d seen the deathly stare Maya sent my way) and whenever I needed something I could just ask him to bring me things and he would. To be honest, it was sort of fun.

I just had to treat a few scratches and infections (nothing as wild as Josh’s though) and made sure to give everyone a toothbrush (I had my own and always made sure to brush my teeth after every meal. What? I won’t lose my teeth before I turn twenty!) I had also listened to Josh’s advice and started writing easy D-I-Y treatments on the notebook he got for me in case I was gone... you know, just in case.

My hand was still unable to move but for most things, I only had to say “Rub this on the cut” or, “Here, take this cough syrup” so it wasn’t like I actually needed my hands.

Then at some point in the afternoon, the weird shit started to show up. You know how kids get bored and do stupid things? Well, in the apocalypse it’s the same, only by a thousand.

“You tried to do, WHAT?”

“He’d always wanted to try to stick his hand up the vending machine to see if he could reach the snack for free,” Says his friend, blushing in embarrassment, “I tried to warn him...”

“For free?” I ask in exasperation, “Everything is free now, idiot! You could’ve, I don’t know, break the glass and take the food”

His friend is sitting on the chair in front of me, holding his hand up, He has a huge cut that goes from his pinky to his wrist, it could need stitches.

“Alex,” I turn to look at the boy, who seems to be struggling to not laugh, “could you get me antiseptic and bandaids?”

“Uh, sure,” He nods, starting to walk away, “I’m on it”

“And you... sorry, what was your name?”

“Tyler”

“Tyler. Be a sweetheart and put your hand here,” I point to the sink on my left and Tyler does as I ask, I push the button with my left hand and he winces, “I know it burns but we have to clean it before we cure it. Maybe you’ll think twice before doing something stupid again. C’mon, wash it well”

Alex comes back moments after and I take the stuff, he watches me carefully as I work together with Tyler’s friend to disinfect the cut and put one of those squared bandaids on it.

“There it is,” I smile politely, “good as new. If the cut has troubles to heal you’re gonna need stitches, so pray for this thing to work. You, Tyler’s friend, keep an eye on him and if it doesn’t heal you tell me okay? Tyler, If I see you even remotely close to a vending machine again, I’ll kick your ass”

The boy yelps but nods, his friend gets him out of the restroom.

We wait a minute or two to see if anyone else appears, it seems like the accidents and wounds have stopped for the day.

“Let’s go get something to eat,” I grab the spare material we didn’t use and put it all inside the backpack I have with me at all times, “if I stay here for the rest of the day I’ll be dreaming about toilets tonight”

Alex chuckles, following me out.

“You know, you really look different,” He walks beside me, “in a good way, like you’re comfortable on your own skin. The last time I saw you this way was probably that time when you did the presentation on Da Vinci”

“I was fourteen back then,” I grimace, “that doesn’t sound good”

“What thing?”

“That it’s been so long since I looked happy”

“I never said ‘happy’ I said comfortable in your own skin,” He states, “you always looked happy. Not always looked so careless, though. I don’t know if you get it.”

“I don’t know. Maybe,” I shrug, “I’m just okay with how my life is going right now, I could’ve died back with Triumph but Josh saved us. I’m just enjoying that I didn’t.”

“Josh seems to be a good guy,” He says, looking intently at me, “and he seems to be good friends with you”

“Well, he’s a friendly guy,” I agree, not understanding what he’s trying to say, “and he always tries his best, it’s hard to not like him”

“So, you like him a lot?”

I look at him from the corner of my eye. So that’s where this is heading.

“Yes, I like him.”

I don’t try to be more specific or care about calming his suspicions. If he wants to know, he’ll have to ask directly.

Unfortunately (luckily for me) he doesn’t get the chance cause Wesley intercepts us.

“Hey sis, heard you’ve been working all morning,” He extends one long package of cookies, “I think you deserve some recognition”

“Yes!” I grab the package and give a quick hug to Wesley, “Are you a guardian angel?”

“You’re welcome,” He crosses his arms. Wesley notices Alex standing awkwardly beside me and speaks up, “I know you, from where do I know you?”

“He used to go to our school,” I reply, stuffing my mouth with two cookies, “he’s an old friend... Alex”

“Murphy,” Alex shakes Wesley’s hand, “I think you know me from history class?”

“Murphy!” He claps, “you’re the bi dude that dated my girl Amy back in junior high, right?”

“That’s also me.”

“Sweet, she used to talk wonders about you,” Wes nods, “I think she got eaten by Ghoulies like a week after all of this started, though”

“Oh, sorry dude...”

“No worries, we stopped being friends when we started Highschool”

I watch their interaction as I keep eating, it’s weird how my two worlds, the old and the new could collapse and mix people together, not caring whether or not I want it. Yet, the world never actually collapsed, just mutated, and I was still standing in the middle of this chaos in one piece.

One absolute, badass piece.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“I asked if you didn’t mind if I go and take a nap,” Says Alex, pointing towards the mattress store, “I think I’m still not fully recovered from my time with Triumph”

“Oh, yeah go ahead”

I smile politely as I watch him go, not noticing Wesley until he speaks again.

“So, that’s your guy”

I jump, cursing under my breath.

“Jesus, Wesley. Don’t do that...” I scowl, “What do you mean with ‘my guy’?”

“The one you told me about?” He continues, “you said you had a friend named Alex and that you two were a team but then he left?”

“Right,” I had totally forgotten about our conversation, “this Alex is the same Alex from that story”

“You must be happy right now,” He raises a brow, “you got your buddy back”

“Not so much,” I squint, “he’s back but... I kind of wish he wasn’t”

“Why?” He grins, “What, you like someone else now?”

“I never said I liked him,” I reply a little too fast.

“You don’t have to.”

“Whatever,” I roll my eyes.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” He grabs my shoulders, “Who is it? Is it one of the new kids? Is it one of us?”

“Wes...”

“If it’s me I have to warn you I’m gay,” He gives me a pointed look, “you’re cute and all, but I just don’t play for that team. Sorry.”

“Is not you cause I don’t like anybody, Wesley!” I hiss, pushing his hands away, “Let it go!”

“Y/N,” He pleads, following me as I walk fast to the main hall, “I swear I will keep it a secret!”

“No, you won’t,” I groan, "it would only be a matter of time before Angelica finds out as well and then I wouldn’t hear the end of it”

“Is it Eli?” He continues without bugging, “it’s that why you think Angelia and I would tease you? I mean, kid’s kinda weird but I’d rather see you dating him than him kissing that ‘Mavis’ doll.”

“Please, stop,” I sit on a bench, the same place where few hours before, Wesley and Josh had trained, “I don’t like Eli”

“Then it’s Josh,” He states, sitting beside me.

When I give him one exasperated look but don’t speak against him, Wesley covers his mouth in shock and starts kicking the air in excitement.

“Yes, girl! Go get it!” He laughs, “Shit, you have to make a move. You and Josh desperately need to get laid”

“Wesley!” I exclaim, putting the cookies away since my appetite has been brutally murdered, “I don’t want to sleep with Josh!”

“Why not?” Wesley shrugs, “you two are good together, always hyping each other up and being the dorky duo that led us to success”

“You’re hallucinating,” I shake my head, “and forgetting an important issue”

“Which is?”

“Sam’s been dead for like, four days tops?” I cross my arms, “Now that’s some insensitive shit”

“Oh,” His smile disappears abruptly, “That. Right.”

“Right”

“Okay, but what if...” Before he ends the phrase, he shakes his head, “no nevermind”

“What?” I frown.

“Nothing,” He shrugs, “is not important.”

“What are you thinking?” The boy stays silent for a second, then his eyes light up and smiles like something just came up to him.

“I was thinking, what if this whole apocalypse shit hadn’t happened,” He leans against the bench, “and we were still normal kids, you know homecoming dance was close?”

“Yes,” I tilt my head, “what about it?”

“If he and Sam would’ve broken up before the dance... I mean, you already knew him, right? If that would’ve been the case, you would have tried?”

“To what?” I grin, “Ask him out?”

“Yeah”

“Don’t think so,” I reply with honesty, “I think I would’ve asked Alex, but only as friends you know? Cause it was better. Or I would’ve gone to the dance alone.”

“Really?”

“Yes, Josh wasn’t on my radar during those days. I knew him and all, he just was in a whole different world. Out of reach and far from being on my list”

“I see,” He squints his eyes, “You know what? I think we should have that dance”

“What?” I laugh louder this time, looking around for my cookies, “there’s no way we can do that here...”

“Why not?”

“It’s a mall”

“So what? We have enough kids, we have plenty of drinks and food, a wide space where we can show our best moves?” He stretches his arms as to prove his point, “I think I can make it work”

“I think it’ll be a total failure,” I reply, finally finding the package and eating a whole cookie.

“Bet?”

“Sure,” I mumble, “what do you wanna bet?”

“If I win, you’ll ask Josh for a date, or you know, you’ll give it a try,” He comments, “if it turns out you don’t like him then I’ll stop”

“And If I win you won’t force me to try shit,” I reach out to hold his hand and he takes it.

“Deal.”

To be honest, I think maybe Katie was right. I can be a little overdramatic sometimes, people can get tired of that. When I first came to this mall I was desperate to live, afraid that my calm and easy routine would be affected by the wishes of these losers. Which it did, but it was for the best, I think.

I also thought that if I ever saw Alex again my heart would stop instantly and I would die cause it was too much to handle, or that we would have this huge fight where both of us ended killing the other or something. It isn’t like that at all. Sure it is awkward and a bit weird, but we’re making it work. I think.

That noon we’re in the pharmacy, making the inventory in a small notebook that I carry around (the one that I had before I met Josh, not the one that he gave me) and we’re not talking much, only saying the names of the medicines we have and where we should put them. I don’t know what exactly do most of these medicines do, but I trust that Angelica might know, so I’ll ask her before we go to bed.

“Y/N?”

“What?” I look over my shoulder to see Alex holding a box of pills, we move to the next shelf and we start putting them in line.

“So,” He starts, “we haven’t seen each other in three months, I’m sure something must have happened while I was gone”

“Meh, not really. The majority of those three months I spent it alone, in my old house,” I shrug, “collecting food and things, then this pug attacked my place (I’m sure you’ve seen it, it’s huge) so I had to move again. In the middle of that Josh crashed into me and sort of dragged me to this mall.”

Alex smiles lightly.

“You’re still taking care of your people?”

“I think that’s clear,” I shake one of the bottles and smile tiredly, “I didn’t choose to do this, though. I was just the one with weird knowledge about severed fingers and they just assumed my knowledge is enough to cure all kinds of sufferings”

“I think it kind of is,” He shrugs, “who’s the heroic one now, huh?”

“Shut up,” I whine, though I’m smiling, “I’m just being helpful, that’s all”

“You always are”

Alex and I stop to look at each other. I can feel a sensation in my stomach but is not butterflies, it’s comfort. I’m glad to have him and I’m happy that he exists, but that’s all. The euphoria of the ‘What if’ is long gone since I discovered that the ‘what if’ wasn’t for us.

Holy shit. Did I stop crushing on him because of all that happened?

Or did it stop because I met Josh?

“We need to talk about it,” He says, catching me off guard.

I accidentally kick a box behind me trying to step back. I knew this was coming, and I knew he was waiting for us to be mostly alone so we could talk about it in peace, I just wasn’t expecting it to be so soon.

“Do we?” I squint.

“Last time we didn’t talk about it and it ended on us fighting and going our separate ways,” He replies, “and I missed you, Y/N. I won’t let it happen again.”

“Listen,” I sigh, taking the box and setting it on the floor, signaling towards the counter so we go sit, “ I know I said awful things to you I shouldn’t have, you were the only person I had left and I pushed you away. I was scared, I thought you were going to leave me. So I figured that if I was the one leaving first then you’d forget me and things would be okay.”

“I asked you to come with me so we could start again,” He frowns, “how did that make you think I was leaving you? How could you even think you’d be that easy to forget?”

It’s funny that he says that, cause Josh kinda told me the same thing. How I’m not easy to forget.

I don’t want that, I want to be easy. I want to be able to have my freedom and know I can go at any time as soon as I feel like it, without feeling guilty about leaving people behind. If I’m wrong and people will still miss me no matter how fast I leave... well, let’s just say it doesn’t help my goal.

“I thought that if I decided to go with you, there was fifty percent of chances that we would stop being friends, and I’m a dumbass so there’s no way I would’ve survived on my own outside Glendale”

I thought he would get upset, instead, Alex laughs.

“That makes me feel so optimistic about our future, then. We’ll never leave Glendale but hey, at least we’ll grow old.”

“That’s the dream,” I nudge his arm playfully.

We stay silent for a couple of seconds, then he speaks up again.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you that one time,” His voice is full of regret.

I stop my movements altogether and look at him.

“I’m sorry about that too. I was hurt for a while, but then I kinda realized... it was for the best. I mean, maybe you kind of had a crush on me but it was better this way, right?”

He gives me an apologetic look. I’ve seen that expression thousands of times before, I know that he’s about to get deadly honest.

“No,” Alex grimaces, “I didn’t have a crush on you.”

“Oh,” I reply, genuinely speechless, “I-uh... I”

“Listen,” He jumps off from the counter and stands in front of me, “here’s the thing... Maya told me one day when we started Highschool that you, uh, had a crush on me. And at first, I didn’t believe her cause well, you’re my best friend”

“Then why did you kiss me?” I ask, maybe a little too loud.

“Cause then she started to implant all these ideas in my head, and she kept saying to ‘watch how you acted around me’ and how ‘you were super nice to me and dull with every other boy’”

“Rude,” I frown.

“...The point is that I believed her. I was all paranoid cause I thought I was giving the wrong vibes, and I didn’t want to hurt you-”

“Then why, did you KISS ME?” I ask again.

“Shhhh!” His eyes widen, stepping closer and putting a hand on my mouth, “I’m getting there!”

“Hmph-” I slap his hand away from my mouth, “then get there already!”

“That day at the mall,” Alex continues anxiously, “you were all sweet and kind to me, and gave me compliments and bought me Icecream... like, shit Y/N you were being so cute and I thought ‘Hey, what if I’m in love with her too but I’m in denial?”

“Dude,” I frown, “that’s... I mean, I was just being a good friend that one time, honest.”

“So you never had a crush on me?”

“I mean... I did? Sort of...I had one but then you kissed me and...”

“And nothing, right?” He asks with hope, “you’re with me on this, there wasn’t, like, that kind of feelings involved?”

“I-yeah,” I nod, “after we kissed I just feel tainted and guilty cause you were dating Stuart”

“Ugh, don’t even get me started on Stuart,” He covers his face with one hand, “when I told him about what had happened I broke his heart, we broke up soon after”

“You told him?!”

“Of course I did, I loved him!” He exclaims, “I cared about him, so I had to be honest. I told him I got all confused and mixed things up, that I kissed you but you seemed not into it and of course neither was I and that I was sorry... He was just too upset and felt like I didn’t respect him, so he dumped me.”

“I am so, so sorry, Al,” I stand up, we have always been the same height, so we’re now face to face, “I mean, it was you who kissed me but... I should’ve talked to you sooner.”

“For what?” He huffs, “is not like we both knew what was going on”

“But we’re best friends, we’re supposed to trust each other, right? Then why we didn’t?”

“I guess... we just lost control.”

“We listened to the wrong person,” I correct, “I’m sure Maya got all entertained with our misunderstanding. Jesus, I bet she must have figured it out before us but she never said anything to stop us.”

“Be honest, would you have listened to her?”

“No?” I scoff, “but this just proves that she’s evil.”

“I saw the way she was looking at you today,” He crosses his arms, “I’m guessing you finally snapped.”

“Not entirely,” I defend, “I just rejected her offer. The one about starting a tribe.”

“You still want to be on your own?”

“No, I don’t want to be with Maya,” I reply, “we’re good here, don’t you think?”

“Yeah...” He looks around, “I wanted to see the world and all but... is not the same thing, and is not the same thing alone either”

“Sorry that your dream got busted” I pat his shoulder.

“It’s alright,” He shrugs, “sorry your loner life got ruined.”

“It wasn’t that cool”

“So...” He grabs the hand that’s on his shoulder without moving it from the place, “we’re cool now? Can we go back to being friends?”

“Yes, please,” My hold gets a bit tighter, “if I’m gonna keep treating the wounds that kids cause on themselves stupidly, I’m gonna need my best friend beside me...”

We shake hands and grin, it feels like all the weight just disappeared from our shoulders.

“Hey, Y/N do you-” Josh stops at the entrance and stays really quiet, watching the scene in front of him.

I’m still holding onto Alex’s hand, Alex casually smiles at him.

“Oh, hey Josh what’s up?”

“Hi,” I try to look just as casual as my friend when I let go of him, “uh-Josh.”

“Sorry, you’re busy”

Josh mumbles and tries to walk away from the store. I quickly walk around the counter and call his name.

“Wait!” He stops and looks at me, “we were just finishing up here, tell us what you need”

“I, uh... my bandages,” When he speaks his voice is lower, it reminds me of the drowsy way he talked when he woke up from cutting his finger. Disoriented, drained out of energy, “I need a new set. This one’s got ruined from going outside and fighting with Triumph.”

“Okay,” I look over at Alex, “first shelf on your right”

The boy looks over and soon enough he throws me a package, I catch it mid-air and then I ask Josh:

“You need help?”

“I... uhm,” His eyes go from me to Alex and for some reason, I can tell he feels uncomfortable with us. Maybe he thinks Alex and I are still fighting, I should tell him I’m not upset anymore, otherwise he’ll keep acting like this, “is not a big deal, I can do it on my own...”

I look over at my best friend with an expression that I hope it reads like ‘can you leave us alone for a moment?’

“Alex..?”

“I think I’ll look around for food,” He picks up the message immediately, giving me a pointed look, “I’ll leave you to it”

“Thanks,” I smile politely. When he’s gone I make Josh sit on the counter and unwrap his old bandages.

He’s deadly quiet. Again, a bad sign that something is going on inside his head. I try to make some light conversation so he feels better.

“Have you heard Wesley’s new bright idea-?”

“Did you talk to Alex?”

Okay then, pretty straightforward.

“Yes,” I smile, trying to look as happy and relaxed as possible, “it’s all good between us now, like the old times”

“Good,” For some reason, my answer only seems to make things worse, I try to add more.

“I know you think I’m upset. But I think this was exactly what I was waiting for, I’m finally okay with Alex, I owe it all to you so you can add that to the list of things you’ve done for me.”

“...Great!” He tries to smile for a moment, but it dies as soon as it appears.

My mind tries to figure it out, What’s happening? What’s upsetting him? We succeded! Even better, he reunited old friends, gave them a...

That’s it, the reunion. He’s upset that I got Alex back and he doesn’t have Sam.

“I’m sorry, Josh,” I say as soon as I realize, “oh my god, I thought...”

“It’s fine,” He replies, avoiding to look at me, “I mean, I knew you had feelings for someone-”

“Sam,” I say, not really listening to what he was saying, “Jeez I’m so stupid...”

“What?” He stops.

“You’re upset because I got to see Alex again and apologize, but you and Sam...”

I’m too embarrassed to continue, so I just give him an apologetic look that he doesn’t seem to fully understand. I watch as he stares at me startled, mouth open and a deep frown. Only then I consider that I might have fucked it up again.

“Or if that wasn’t what had you upset then I’m sorry I didn’t-”

“No! Uh, yes. Sure, I-uh...” He scratches the back of his head, “yeah I guess all this had me a bit sensitive. What was that about you and Alex?”

“I...” I’m a bit surprised by his sudden change of subject, but I don’t take it personal since I guess he feels like he gave too much information about him and Sam the last time we talked about it, “I talked to him and said I was sorry. Then he said he was sorry and now we’re friends again.”

“Friends?” He’s got his full attention on me, now seemingly interested in my story.

“Friends,” I smile.

“Didn’t you liked him?”

“I told you it was a long story,” I shake my head, finishing his bandages “tp make it short, he used to be my crush, then after he left things just got different and...”

Then I met you.

“Well I don’t feel that way anymore, so we’re cool now”

“Really?” He asks, “That’s great!”

He gets up and hugs me tightly, even lifting me up a few inches in the air. I let out a short squeal, caught off guard.

“You’re the type of friend that gets excited with their friends’ success, right?” I laugh once he puts me down.

“Totally,” Josh smirks, “this is a win for all, right? He gets a safe place to stay, you get your friend back and I...” He clears his throat, “I can get that notebook filled with medical tips”

“You sure need them,” I chuckle, “you klutz”

“Don’t be rude,” He kicks my foot lightly, “by the way, what was that thing you were saying about Wesley at first?”

“Wes,” I say excitedly, “he said he’ll plan a homecoming dance for us”

“What?”Josh laughs, “No way!”

“I know, right?” I grin, “that’s cra-”

“That’s so cool!” He interrupts me, “How long has he been planning this? Do you think he needs help?”

“I-I don’t know,” I stutter taken by surprise, “he just thought of that today, so I guess he does? but-”

“Let’s go see if he needs help!” Josh takes my healthy hand and drags us out from the pharmacy, looking for Wesley.

I know that if I help Wesley there’s a big chance I will lose the bet but what did you expect me to do? I can’t tell Josh I’m not going to help cause I made a bet about asking him out. That’s embarrassing.

Instead, I follow him to where Wesley is and while Josh tells him he thinks his idea of making a dance is great, I have to stand there and watch the shit-eating grin on Wesley’s face while he nods along to Josh’s ideas.

Taglist.

@letsbloodmagic @slythermyg

#daybreak fanfic #twoidiots writing #eli cardashyan #daybreak #josh wheeler #josh wheeler xreader #angelica green #ms crumble #wesley fists #netflix

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xxfanfiction-emo-trinityxx · 6 years

Text

Dec 14

Words: 1 909

A/N: Part 15, which would be due tomorrow, is going to be late, since I am out of town for most the weekend. I’ll upload it together with Part 16 on Sunday!

You were sitting on the big sofa in Pete’s house, squeezed in between Patrick and Tyler, and nervously watched how Andy pulled in a coaster wagon filled with wrapped presents. This year, just like the past three years as well, Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, and Twenty One Pilots were having their own little Secret Santa party, somewhat in the middle of December. After the Save Rock and Roll tour, the bands had decided to meet up at least once a year, and a small Christmas party had seemed like the perfect opportunity. You, being somewhat a permanent touring member of Fall Out Boy, were invited as well, all the men agreeing that without touring members like yourself, bands would be totally helpless, and therefore were just as much part of the band as the official members.

Andy adjusted the red Santa hat, and pulled out the first package. This year it had been his turn to collect the different presents, and later get them to the right people. You barely payed attention as Andy called out Joe’s name who jumped up excitedly and ripped away the paper. Instead your eyes were fixed on Brendon, who sat a few seats away. He seemed very concentrated on the main action, demanding Joe should guess who had gotten him his little present. You were about to look away from the handsome lead singer, when he turned his head, and looked straight at you. For a moment it felt like he was checking in with you, but then his expression changed and a grin spread over his face. It felt like your heart skipped a few beats for the time that he was locking eyes with you, and only when he looked away again, you dared exhaling the breath you had held in subconsciously. The crush you had been having on Brendon since he first talked to you was your private, little secret. His enthusiasm in everything he did, the passion for his music, and his dorkiness had drawn you in from the first moment on.

“Brendon,” Andy called, holding up the box that you had wrapped in red and golden wrapping paper. You vividly remembered the feeling of both excitement and dread flooding you when you had pulled the paper with Brendon’s name from the Patrick’s hat in which you had mixed the names.

Brendon jumped up from the armchair in which he had been seated, and walked over to Andy, taking the box out of the bearded man’s hands. Back at his place, he ripped open the paper unceremoniously and unfolded the flaps of the carton. Nervously you held your breath, hoping he would at least be amused over what you had gotten him.

To your relief his eyes widened in surprise, and a smile lit up his face as he inspected the contents of the box.

“Someone really knows me,” he laughed.

“What’d you get,” Pete asked excitedly, standing up so he could peer into the carton.

“It’s like… a set of different wines and whiskeys,” he explained, “and they’re all in these tiny bottles!”

He pulled out one of the bottles, to show it around, earning laughs from the others at its size.

“Guess who got you that one,” Patrick suggested.

You could not help but tense up. There were a few rules when it came to guessing who had gotten you the gift.

First: everyone had three tries.

Second: if someone guessed right, the giver had to admit it.

Third: if after the last guess the recipient still had not guessed correctly, the giver had to be kept a secret by everyone who might know.

Somehow you could not decide whether or not you wanted Brendon to guess right. Was it embarrassing that you had found something that he enjoyed so much?

“I guess… Pete,” Brendon grinned, but Pete shook his head. “Josh?” Josh, too, shook his head.

“Last guess,” Andy reminded.

Brendon tapped his index finger against his lips, looking into the many faces around him.

“Joe.”

“Nope, not me, mate,” Joe grinned.

Brendon furrowed his brows in confusion, and you could have sworn that for a moment his gaze flickered over to you, but you could not be sure.

The next few minutes Andy read out more names, but you continued watching Brendon. He seemed to pay attention to Andy and the gifts that got discovered, but sometimes he looked down on the box with the tiny bottles, his fingers running over the carton, as if that would tell him who had gotten this for him.

Then your name got called. It took you a moment until the information got progressed before you quickly jumped to your feet. You scooted past Tyler, and hurried over to Andy who handed you a shapeless package, wrapped in golden sparkly wrapping paper. You took the present, and sat back down again before you carefully pulled away the paper. The first thing that tumbled into your lap was a cube and for a second you thought it was a Rubik’s cube, but then you noticed the numbers on the wooden toy.

“What’s that,” Josh asked interested as you turned the cube in your hand.

“A Sudoku cube, I believe,” you answered, throwing the cube over to him, who caught it skillfully. “and…” you pulled a bag of sweets out of the golden, foil like paper, “ chocolate coated popcorn. Uh, someone knows my vices,” you joked, gently placing the bag aside.

Just when you wanted to crumble the wrapping paper to a ball to kick it aside, you felt something hard inside, so you checked. It turned out that there was one last, tiny gift in there that you almost had missed.

“A wind-up toy,” you asked surprised as you inspected the sheet metal toy.

It seemed to be old, like something that your parents would have played with when they had been children. The metal was a little rusty at the edges, but the colors with which it was painted were still vibrant. Amazed you wound up the toy, gently holding it in your hands before you placed it on the glass table in front of you. With a quiet humming the toy started hopping over the table.

You had loved these toys when you had been a child, especially the really old looking ones, like the one that only slowly came back to rest on the table in front of you. Who could have known that? Was it a coincidence?

“Guess,” Tyler asked, gently nudging you with his elbow.

You shook your head trying to find back into the present. Who would get you sweets, a Sudoku cube and a wind-up toy? Maybe Patrick? Out of all the people in the room he was the closest to you. But when you said his name he shook his head, mumbling ‘I wish I knew you this well’. Your second guess was Andy, since he always had a very good intuition what people liked. But he too shook his head no. Just like Brendon earlier you looked around wondering who would get you these things. Your eyes stopped at him, like always, but now it was because he was nervously fumbling with his fingers.

“Brendon,” you asked, making him look up at you with wide eyes.

For a moment he stared at you, then he grinned and nodded, but his hands were still tensely wrapped together in his lap.

Andy immediately continued reading out the next name, not giving you a chance to thank Brendon, but leaving you a lot of time to think about it.

The evening continued slowly. Pete brought snacks and eggnog, and hot apple juice with cinnamon. There was banter and laughter, and you hardly noticed how the time passed.

Only when the big grandfather clock in the hallway rang two o’clock in the morning, you realized that it was time for you to leave, since you had planned on doing some Christmas shopping in the morning. Everyone whined when you got up, saying your good byes, but they did not try to make you stay. They knew you well enough to let you have it your way.

“I’m leaving too,” Brendon suddenly spoke, getting up from the sofa as well. “Need to catch up on some sleep.”

He yawned as if to underline his words and followed you into the hallway after he had said good night to everyone.

In silence you put on your coats, and Brendon held the door open for you. The air outside was cool, as you walked towards the gate of the property.

“It was you, wasn’t it,” Brendon suddenly asked.

“Your secret Santa,” you asked back, wanting to be sure you were thinking about the same thing.

“Yes.”

Brendon stopped, and when you stopped too, to look at him, he watched you with gentle eyes.

“How did you know I was your secret Santa,” he wanted to know.

“Truthfully, you were fidgeting with your hands, as if you were nervous,” you confessed. “How did you know that I always wanted one of these old wind-up toys?”

Brendon chuckled softly and continued walking.

“You told me,” he answered, “the same evening I found you riddling over a Sudoku, the same evening we went to that midnight market or whatever that was, where we got chocolate coated popcorn.”

This time it was you who stopped in their tracks. You furrowed your eyes and looked at Brendon who was standing a few steps away from you.

“That was years ago,” you stated, “and you still remember that?”

Brendon chuckled again, but this time it sounded almost sad.

“I remember every moment I spent with you.”

For a few seconds it felt as if the world stood still. Your heart was hammering in your chest, as you tried to tell yourself that this meant nothing, but you failed. Slowly you reached your hand out and brushed your cool fingers over Brendon’s cheek, who closed his eyes at the sensation.

Hesitantly you stepped closer, leaning towards him, whose eyes fluttered open again when he felt your breath fanning over his skin. For a moment you stood like that, staring at each other, trying to deny what was so painfully obvious now. And then Brendon could not take the tension any longer. He had suffered through this tension for five years now and enough was enough. So he leant in, and crashed his lips against yours. Without a second thought you answered the kiss, wrapping your arm around his neck, while he pulled you closer by the waist. His lips were soft and cool from the freezing air, he smelled like vanilla and cinnamon and you wished you could just cuddle against him and fall asleep like that.

When you pulled away, swollen lips and blushing cheeks, he smiled triumphantly.

“No offence, but this was a better gift than the alc,” he grinned, his hand taking hold of yours, intertwining your fingers.

You shook your head with a smile, rolling your eyes at him.

“Wasn’t ‘secret’ Santa though,” you reminded him, and he giggled.

“I still very much enjoyed it,” he confessed, making you blush more than you already were.

“Whatever,” you laughed, and started walking again, still holding his hand.

Brendon followed you down the moon light lit street, a dreamy look on his face, wondering, what he could say to make you kiss him again as soon as possible.

Picture

#brendon urie x reader #brendon urie fluff #brendon urie #brendon urie x reader fluff #cute #fluff #fluffy #secret santa #christmas #25 days of christmas #25 days of writing challange #fanfiction #fanfic #advent #advent calendar

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danfanciesphil · 7 years

Text

Give Me A Try (New Chapter)

Gay Instagram Model/Bartender Phan AU Part 3

(Part One)

(Part Two)

(Read on Ao3!)

Dan’s in the middle of his break, scrolling through his phone, when a text notification appears at the top of his screen. He drops his bagel into his lap, cursing.

The text is from Phil. He doesn’t know any other Phil’s, so it has to be AmazingPhil, texting him, inexplicably.

He clicks the notification, eyes wide, simultaneously scooping up the bagel bits that have fallen onto his knees.

From: Phil To: Dan im in makeup for a weird photoshoot for some korean clothing brand and they just put loads of silver goo in my hair to make it chromey

As Dan is reading the message, searching between the lines for a reason Phil might be telling him this information, another text pings through.

From: Phil To: Dan whoops, i kinda meant to send that to PJ. but hey, if you’re interested, here’s a pic of me with ‘Kpop Idol Silver Hair Paste’ in lol xx

From: Phil To: Dan [image]

The phone slips from Dan’s fingers, clattering through his legs to the floor of the staff room. Phil has sent him a selfie. An un-edited, un-Instagrammed photo of his breathtaking face, up close. Sure, there’s a weird silvery goop in his usually raven hair, but still. Gingerly, Dan retrieves the phone, a small, strangled sound escaping from his throat as he surveys the image in front of him.

It makes a little more sense now that Phil has informed him that he had actually mistakenly texted the original message, but did the guy really have to follow up with a photo? He must, surely, be aware of Dan’s crush. He witnessed the brunt of Dan’s obsessive stalking in person on his phone, after all.

Bagel entirely forgotten, Dan just stares down into the pixelated blue of Phil Lester’s eyes, wondering how to respond, and if he even should. Deciding eventually that it would be rude not to, Dan shakily types out something he hopes is vaguely witty.

From: Dan To: Phil hahaha wow :’) kpop? more like kpoop. (it looks like bird poop, sorry dude.) x

From: Phil To: Dan hahaha it does ur so right. and if you think thats bad you should see the outfits… xx

Settling back into his chair, Dan bites his lip. As he thinks of a potential response, his eyes wander over to the spot, just to the right of him, where he and Phil had stood not long ago, when it had seemed like maybe, possibly, Phil might’ve…

But obviously that’s absurd.

Dan’s wishful thinking had clearly driven him to the point of hallucination, because the very notion that Phil Lester, AmazingPhil, the famous Instagram model, would ever have looked at Dan as anything more than a random bartender, is laughable.

Dan sighs to himself, then smirks. Well, just because he has no chance, doesn’t mean he can’t utilise his semi-connection to the celebrity to get some behind-the-scenes footage of his fave.

From: Dan To: Phil well now i have to see x

There’s a noticeable pause, and Dan wonders, panicking vaguely, if he may have pushed too far. Is it a little much to ask this of Phil? Maybe he just won’t respond, and Dan will have to quit his job forever, or maybe just spend his shifts on red alert that Phil will wander into the bar, and hide from him if he does-

He texts back.

From: Phil To: Dan [image]

From: Phil To: Dan hot, right? xx

For two long, uninterrupted minutes, Dan is frozen. Then, he lets out a muffled groan of frustration. The photo Phil sent is a full body shot taken by someone else; he’s dressed in an asymmetrical long white t-shirt with several long rips through the chest, some bright pink camouflage trousers, and a shiny silver puffer jacket with a black fur-lined hood. The outfit is a complete disaster, but it doesn’t matter in the slightest. His chest is visible through the slits in the tee; having seen it twice now IRL, Dan is drawn to the slivers he can see. The trousers make his eyes pop, and the jacket matches the silver streaked through his hair.

His pose is casual, feet apart, smirking at the camera, with his hands gesturing to his body as if to say ‘see what i mean?’. If he’d posted this on his Instagram, Dan gets the feeling he’d have saved it to his camera roll anyway, maybe even made it his phone background.

Dan’s done that with a few of his favourite photos of Phil in the past. He won’t even dwell on the time when Phil posted a photo of himself in the bath and Dan, in a semi-sleep-deprived fit of insanity, printed the photo out and stuck it on his wall.

Tyler came over once, weeks later, saw the photo taped above Dan’s bed, and tore the thing down. He’d told Dan, quite rightly, to stop being such a creep and keep his crazed obsessive behaviour to social media like everyone else.

“Who even has physical photos these days?? You’re like a fucking serial killer!”

Dan chuckles at this memory. He’s glad for Tyler, sometimes, even if he’s only good for keeping Dan’s stalkerish behaviour within the realms of normalcy.

Belatedly, he realises it’s been over five minutes and he still hasn’t responded to Phil. Also, his break is close to being over.

From: Dan To: Phil woww. please, phil of the future, tell me what life is like in 2087 x

From: Phil To: Dan stawwp. i keep laughing out loud at what ur saying and now the designer is sending me death glares :’’’D xx

Trying hard to ignore the fact that his dorky jokes are apparently literally making Phil ‘lol’, Dan checks the time, and sighs, typing out another message.

From: Dan To: Phil is the designer a martian? or maybe secretly one of those reptile-people? maybe skin him just to be safe. also my break is over so i gtg. have fun on set of NASA’s moonlanding recreation x

From: Phil To: Dan aww ur at work too? that sux. i forgot that u work at night lol. hope u stay dry this evening ;) xx

From: Dan To: Phil speaking of… why are u at work? isnt it kind of late for a photoshoot? x

From: Phil To: Dan well its 8am here so no haha xx

From: Dan To: Phil where are you? x

From: Phil To: Dan seoul :) hence the… unusual fashion lol xx

Dan’s eyebrows shoot up his forehead. He stands from his chair, throws his half eaten bagel in the trash, and looks around himself. He’s in the staff room - a small, dusty space with a row of falling apart lockers, a couple of chairs and a small table. There’s a hook on the wall which holds a load of unused aprons, and a rusty heater for when it’s especially cold.

He’s about to go back out to serve a load of rowdy customers some overpriced cocktails, then mop a dancefloor sticky with sweat, alcohol, and whatever other liquids might have found their way there. Then, he’s going to go back to his crummy flat way across in Kemptown, unfold his sofabed, and fall asleep to Netflix.

Phil, on the other side of the world in Korea, is having his hair, makeup and wardrobe done by professionals. He’s being treated like a celebrity, no doubt, and pampered excessively. Later, he’ll receive high-definition, professional photographs of himself looking gorgeous, and post them to his Instagram, where millions of people will tell him how stunning he looks.

Dan sighs to himself. How the other half lives.

The following day, Dan wakes up to find that Phil has updated his Instagram story, and posted the photo with the silver goo in his hair. The same one he’d sent to Dan. The caption reads:

Not sure silver hair was a good idea! The designer was going for Kpop, but ended up with Kpoop… can’t wait to show you guys the photos from this shoot! xx

Two things cross Dan’s mind.

First, Dan can now officially state that he had a sneak-peek at an official AmazingPhil photo before it was posted.

Second, the bitch totally stole his joke.

He smiles to himself ruefully, then decides to leave a comment. There’s no way that Phil will even see it - he’s never seen any of Dan’s others, or at least Dan sincerely hopes he hasn’t, as they’re mostly things like ‘choke me’ or ‘slap me round the face with your yaoi hands dad’.

Okay, maybe he tends to leave those sorts of comments when he’s less than sober.

This time, Dan just taps out a simple:

danisnotonfire: joke stealing is a low form of theft phil smh ;)

Still smiling to himself, Dan rolls over onto his side, and settles in to watch Phil’s story. The stories are usually long, silly, and full of adorable clips of Phil being clumsy and cute. As expected, this one is no exception. It’s a tour of Phil’s hotel room in Seoul, which is very posh.

Phil exclaims over the origami hand towels on his bed, the robe provided for him in the wardrobe, and the multiple options on the ‘disco shower’ as he calls it. Just as Dan is marvelling at the panoramic shot Phil has filmed of his view from the balcony, a notification pings at the top of his screen.

amazingphil replied to your comment: joke stealing is…

Dan sits bolt upright in bed, the sheets falling off him. He runs a hand through his messy hair, eyes wide. He clicks the notification before it disappears, heart pounding.

Oh no, oh no, oh no. Dan hadn’t intended for him to actually see. What if Phil thinks he’s being rude? He doesn’t actually mind Phil stealing his stupid joke about the hair goo. It’s an honour, if anything, that Phil finds his dumb joke good enough to post as a caption millions of people will read.

Heart thrumming, Dan finds the response Phil left.

danisnotonfire: joke stealing is a low form of theft phil smh ;)

amazingphil: @danisnotonfire aha i was kinda hoping you wouldn’t see ;D

Another notification pings at the top of his screen.

amazingphil started following you

“Holy shit,” Dan says to nobody.

amazingphil liked your photo

“Fuck,” Dan squeaks, clutching his pillow for support. “Stop it Phil, I’m gonna have a heart attack.”

Curious, Dan clicks the last notification, wondering which photo it was that Phil pressed the little heart for. To his surprise, it’s a selfie, one he took at work around a month ago. He took it during a lull between serving, if he remembers correctly. The lighting hadn’t been awful when he was doing his hourly fringe check in his phone camera, so he’d snapped a pic. It’s nothing special, just a moody expression and a wash of pink lighting across one half of his face.

amazingphil commented on your photo

amazingphil: nice pout ;) xx

Dan falls back into the pillows, mind obliterating itself into a thousand, tiny pieces.

Over the next few weeks, Dan has several text conversations with Phil. They’re usually started by Phil himself, who will - out of what Dan assumes is boredom - sometimes send him a random meme, a musing about his surroundings, or a selfie. For obvious reasons, Dan prefers the latter.

No matter how many times Phil reaches out via text, the surreality of it never fails to send Dan’s mind freewheeling. It always knocks the wind out of his lungs, it always makes him stop dead in his tracks, and it always leaves him struggling to recover for the next few hours. Whenever this happens at work, Tyler never fails to tease him mercilessly.

“Whoops! Please excuse him, sir, his mind has been blended by a single text from his crush,” Tyler tells a customer the fifth time Dan drops a glass behind the bar.

Dan scowls at his friend, but doesn’t try to defend himself. It’s true, after all. One text from Phil has him behaving like a moron. He becomes physically inept, unable to make the simplest drink.

One night, after the bar has closed, Dan and Tyler are cleaning up.

“So when’s he gonna stop torturing you over text and come sweep you off your beer-drenched tootsies?”

Dan rolls his eyes at this. “He’s not, Ty. He’s a rich and famous superstar, and I’m clearing up puke for the third day in a row.”

Dan wrinkles his nose as he continues mopping up the patch of vomit. He’s suspicious at this point; three days in a row is unusual. Is the same person coming in each night and spewing their guts all over the dance floor out of spite? Perhaps it’s some sort of hate crime.

“It’s like a Cinderella story!” Ty exclaims, pirouetting around his broom. “Except it’s gay, which makes it even better.”

Dan scoffs at him. “I’m pretty sure fairytales don’t involve stalking someone over social media and having them find out. He’s just taking pity on me because he saw that first night that I’m a fan.” Dan dunks the mop back in the bucket, turning to Tyler. “Besides, I’m pretty sure he has a boyfriend.”

Tyler sucks in a scandalised breath. “What! Who?”

Dragging the mop back to the supply closet, Dan laughs. “Remember the drunk guy he came with? The one who gave me a lovely Rainforest shower?”

“Him?”

Dan sighs, locks the cupboard, and nods. He digs into his pocket for his phone, and brings it over to show Tyler the photo of Phil and Charlie kissing. Matt, the security guard wanders over to see as well, letting out a low whistle.

“He’s a nonce if he thinks that guy’s behaviour was attractive,” Matt says. “He puked ‘soon as I got him out the door that night. All over the pavement.”

Dan looks at Matt, tilting his head in interest. “He did?”

Tyler plucks the phone out of Dan’s hand, zooming into the photo to have a better look, a frown on his face.

“Yep, your friend there came out, called him an Uber and sent him off,” Matt says. “Doubt pukey there would’ve made it home without him.”

“Nice guy,” Dan mutters, cheeks warm.

“This is staged,” Tyler announces abruptly.

“What?”

“Look,” he says, bringing the phone back over for Dan to see.

He zooms in on the crux of the kiss, right onto Phil’s face. Dan grimaces.

“Ty, I don’t want to see-”

“Shut up and look at his face,” Tyler interrupts, grabbing Dan’s chin and angling it towards the phone. “See how his lips are puckered? All stiff and pointed, like he’s kissing his grandma. And his eyes are open.”

“He’s looking at the camera!”

“Nah, Tyler’s right mate,” Matt says. The gum he’s chewing is making gross squishy sounds right in Dan’s ear as he leans over to look. “He looks awkward as hell.”

Dan narrows his eyes at the photo, trying to see what the others see.

“Besides, didn’t you say he hated that guy?” Tyler asks, clicking off the photo.

Dan tuts, snatching his phone back. “Well, apparently he was just being nice to compensate for the fact his kissing buddy covered me in sugary cocktail.”

He makes the smart decision to step away from this preposterous conversation before he does something stupid. Like allow either of these morons to give him hope that Phil is actually single.

Not that Phil being single would even matter.

“Or he was making it clear that he’s available!” Tyler calls after him as Dan stalks over to the staff room. “He whipped his shirt off for you twice and gave you his number. Do you think he’d do that if he had a boyfriend?”

“Drop it, Ty!” Dan calls back, shutting the staff room door behind him.

He will not let himself fall into the trap of daring to believe he could get someone as gorgeous, as hilarious, as pure and… amazing, as Phil Lester.

He won’t.

This is a good philosophy, in theory.

In practise, it turns out to be a lot more difficult. Dan finds this out to his cost when Phil strolls into Habenero the following Friday with Charlie Hickory at his side. Dan’s stomach sinks as soon as he sees the pair, the butterflies that appear each time Phil so much as acknowledges exploding into dust the moment he registers who Phil is here with.

Phil makes a beeline for the bar, a big smile on his face as he sees Dan. Warily, Dan smiles back, very aware that he is not exactly Charlie’s biggest fan.

“Dan!” Phil sings, chipper as ever.

Blushing already, Dan waves an awkward hand. He will never, he’s sure, get used to hearing his name on Phil Lester’s lips. “Hi. You’re back.”

“Of course! This is my local hangout now,” Phil says, winking. “Great cocktails, cute bar staff, crazy Bingo nights… this place has got it all.”

“Some people might not agree with you about the cocktails,” Dan can’t help himself saying, glancing at Charlie.

Charlie shuffles awkwardly on the spot. “Right,” he says, casting a look at Phil. They share a look that seems loaded with something Dan is not privy to, and then Charlie sighs, turning to Dan. “I wanted to, uh, apologise. About last time. Totally not cool of me to… tell you off like that. I was wasted.”

For an awkward moment, Dan waits for the actual word ‘sorry’ to leave Charlie’s mouth. It becomes obvious fairly swiftly that the dude feels he’s already said enough, so Dan just gives him a tight smile, and clears his throat.

“Oh, yeah man,” he says. “Let’s just… move on, I guess.”

If Charlie won’t say sorry, then Dan’s sure as hell not going to say he forgives him.

“So, drinks?” Phil asks, seeming to sense the taut atmosphere. “Maybe not cocktails?”

Dan can’t help the splutter of laughter, but Charlie shoots a dagger-like glare Phil’s way. It makes Dan’s lip curl; how could anyone be angry with Phil, of all people?

“Maybe some beers?” Dan suggests, teeth clenched. “We have a load of craft beers, or if you’re more into spirits I could make you guys a-”

“I’ll have a vodka and light tonic, no ice,” Charlie interrupts. “A double. If you use regular tonic, I will know.”

“Charlie,” Phil hisses under his breath.

They exchange another loaded look, and again Charlie sighs, turning to Dan with a fake smile. “Please.”

Swallowing the urge to roll his eyes, Dan nods, then gladly turns his attention to Phil. “And for you?”

“Oh,” Phil says, like it’s only just occurred to him that he needs to order as well. “God, I’m so bad at deciding, err…”

As he’s dithering, Charlie sighs. “Are you cool to get these, Phil? I’m gonna go find us a table.”

“You don’t wanna dance?”

“Not in the mood.”

Phil nods, obviously disappointed. “Okay, yeah, I’ll meet you in the back.”

With that, Charlie is gone, slipping into the crowd. The look of distaste must be more evident on Dan’s face than he thinks, because Phil laughs at it.

“I know,” Phil says. “But he does have a few… marginally amiable qualities.”

‘Why have you chosen to be with someone that’s marginally amiable when you’re so great,’ is what Dan wants to ask. Instead, he simply shrugs, deciding to change the subject.

“Have you decided on a drink yet? I’d better get on with making his low-cal dishwater.”

Phil laughs a little, then leans forwards, his smile deepening as he leans across the bar. “Surprise me.”

Something sparks a roman candle in Dan’s stomach, and his skin prickles with the heat it creates. He drags his eyes free of Phil’s with some difficulty, nodding, and turns to make the drinks.

He prepares Phil a ‘PopQueen’ cocktail, which is one of their most popular. It’s inspired by popcorn, along with the trio of Pop Queens that rule the gay music scene: Gaga, RiRi, and Bey. The moscato vodka base is made from Italian grapes to represent Gaga’s heritage, the spiced rum is a shoutout to Bey’s favourite drink, and Riri comes in in the form of a smoky splash of passion fruit bitter. The rest is topped up with popcorn syrup, lemonade, a sprinkle of caramel popcorn kernels, and as many sparkly cocktail sticks as Dan can fit in.

He explains the whole concoction to Phil as he presents it, a little smug because he knows this is an impressive looking cocktail. It’s probably his favourite one to make; the Viniq shimmery moscato vodka makes the drink swirl and shimmer - always exceptionally pretty.

Sure enough, Phil’s mouth drops open at the sight of it. “Okay wow,” Phil says, chuckling. “I’m gonna get drunk tonight, aren’t I?”

“If that’s your plan, this should definitely help you on your way,” Dan says, laughing too. “I wouldn’t recommend having a second if you want to remember your evening.”

Phil leans forwards to take a sip of the PopQueen, moaning around the straw, much to Dan’s dismay. He plucks one of the popcorn pieces off and eats it, eyes closed. In related news, Dan struggles not to fall to the floor. “Dan, you are an artiste,” Phil says. “Popcorn is my all time favourite food.”

“Oh, wow, that’s... lucky, I guess,” Dan stammers, a swell of pride surging up into his chest. “Glad you like it.”

“So, how much?”

“Oh, on the house.” Dan smiles, sliding the cocktail across the bar along with Charlie’s vodka tonic. “I feel bad for not letting you in on the forfeit for Bingo last time.”

The look on Phil’s face softens into something so sweet Dan can taste sugar on his tongue.

“You don’t have to do that,” Phil says softly.

“It’s fine, really,” Dan assures him, all but sliding his elbows across the bar towards him. “I insist.”

A twitch in the corner of Phil’s mouth, and then he’s leaning across the bar. It happens slowly, but Dan still manages to be caught off guard. One moment, he’s watching, bemused, as Phil inches towards him, and the next there’s a light press of paper-soft lips to his cheek. A scratch of stubble grazes over Dan’s skin as Phil leans away.

“Thanks,” Phil tells him, smiling. “You’re sweet, Dan.”

And then he’s turning away, drinks in hand, slipping into the mass of people.

For the next few hours, Dan hopes for Phil to return to the bar for another round. He waits, eagerly, for this moment to come. Instead, Charlie is the one who brings his and Phil’s glasses back over, and waves to flag down Dan’s attention.

He nods in acknowledgement, finishing up the drinks order he’s in the middle of, and sidling over to Charlie. He forces a strained smile.

“Same again?”

“Yeah,” Charlie says, digging out his phone. “And a couple of vodka shots.”

He says nothing else, eyes glued to his phone screen. Dan waits for a moment before moving off, eyes stuck to Charlie’s face. He’s the kind of gorgeous that shouldn’t exist in real life. Unblemished, tanned skin. Clean, dark stubble, lacing his perfect, razorblade jawline. His hair is a swoop of glossy mahogany; even the cut of it looks expensive.

Charlie’s eyes flick up to Dan’s, obviously questioning why he’s staring, so Dan nods, embarrassed, and hurries to make the drinks. From a superficial standpoint, it’s obvious why Phil is with Charlie. Obviously, in Dan’s eyes, Phil is the most attractive man on the planet, but that’s just because he’s Dan’s type. Even he can tell that Charlie is objectively a beautiful human being.

It’s just a shame about everything below the surface level.

Dan pours the two shots Charlie ordered. “All together it’s twenty pounds, please.”

Charlie snorts, then pockets his phone at last. “Figures you’d give Phil the discount.”

He pulls out a twenty and slaps it on the counter.

“Sorry, I can’t give you guys free drinks all night.”

Charlie just stares back at him, a faint, knowing smile caught on his dusty pink lips. One of this thick eyebrows is slightly quirked, sliding an irritation under Dan’s skin. “Listen, Danny, is it?”

“Dan,” he grits.

“Dan,” Charlie says, leaning across the bar. “A little advice, yeah? Don’t be so transparent. It just comes across as pathetic.”

He downs both the shots in quick succession, baffling Dan, who is frozen, mortified, to the spot. Before his brain can thaw enough to stammer out some witty rebuttal, Charlie has swept the drinks off the counter, and is moving away.

Cheeks burning, Dan turns around, trying to calm his boiling blood. He squeezes his fists together, counting to ten, the way he makes himself after all encounters with dickhead customers.

“Hey, sweetcheeks, can we get some drinks over here, please?”

With a deep sigh, Dan unclenches his fists, and turns to the next customer.

At around one in the morning, Dan runs to the bathroom for a minute, and on his way, he sees Charlie. He’s against the wall of the club, near the DJ booth. There’s a muscular, dark-skinned man pressing him there; their faces are close. Dan can’t stop, he’s left Tyler and Dodie to the mercy of the drunks in their worst state - things get rowdy an hour before closing - and he needs to get back there. So, instead, he simply tucks the image away in his mind, to think about later on.

That man, leant against Charlie in a less-than-innocent seeming stance, was certainly not Phil, after all. As he exits the bathroom, he notices that Charlie is gone, as is whoever was with him.

At 1:55am, the lights come on. As usual, an enormous groan chants out of the crowd of patrons on the dance floor, followed by a few pairs awkwardly stepping out of the shadows, some squinting and eye-covering, and the slow, jelly-legged walk to the coat-check area.

“I think I just saw some guy getting up off his knees in the corner,” Tyler says despondently. “Shotgun not mopping the floor tonight.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Dan sighs. “On the dance floor? Really? Why can’t they suck each other off in the bathroom like normal people?”

“Oh, there were definitely people doing that in one of the stalls about an hour ago,” someone says to Dan’s right. The voice, for some reason, sends the hairs up on the back of Dan’s neck.

He turns, wondering when Matt’s voice got so low, only to find that Phil has perched himself on one of the bar stools, the dregs of his cocktail still in a glass in front of him. For a moment, Dan is too stunned at the sight of him to reply. Then, he registers that the lights are on, and cringes, knowing he likely looks frightful. Phil, of course, looks radiant as ever even under the harsh fluorescents, apart from a faint tiredness, visible in the dark circles underneath his eyes.

“You’re still here,” Dan comments. “I thought you guys had gone.”

“Charlie left,” Phil says, looking away from Dan. “Or I assume he did.”

Out of sight, Tyler catches Dan’s eye, making an obscene gesture with his hands before snickering and running off in the direction of the supply closet. Dan just glares after him, pink-cheeked, and turns back to Phil.

“Wait, he left without telling you?”

One of Phil’s shoulders moves towards his neck, then falls. “He does that.”

“Wow that’s… kind of shitty.”

As soon as the words are out, Dan regrets them. He can’t help but think of Charlie’s comment from earlier; it rings in his ears as if the guy had screamed it at him.

Don’t be so transparent. It just comes across as pathetic.

He was right, probably, though Dan had hated hearing it. He should stop being such a suck-up. It must be awkward and cringey for Phil to see Dan so obviously smitten.

Still, Phil throws him a faint smile. “It’s cool. He’s just a flaky guy. A bit of a princess. He grew up rich, so he’s always been a bit superficial. I’m trying to wring the bourgeoisie out of his blue blood.”

Dan snorts with laughter. “In my experience, you can’t filter the dickishness out of people very easily.”

There’s a silence, then. Phil regards him with a faintly curious expression.

“Maybe I’m wrong,” Dan says once the silence gets too uncomfortable. He shrugs, grabbing the rag from his back pocket and starting to wipe down the bar. “I don’t know the guy, really. I’ve just had a couple of unfortunate experiences with him.”

“Oh no,” Phil says, face falling. “What did he do this time?”

Dan laughs, bitterly. “Don’t worry about it. He’s just a little mouthy, is all.”

“Ugh, I’m sorry.”

“Nothing I can’t handle.”

“So, when do you get to leave this place?” Phil asks, playing with his glass. He still hasn’t drunk the remainder of his cocktail. “Or do you sleep here?”

“On weekdays, the bar closes at two, so I get out of here at around two-thirty.”

“Christ,” Phil mutters. “And I thought my job was long hours.”

A laugh bursts out of Dan’s throat, but he covers it as best he can with a cough, turning away. Busying himself with ‘dusting’ some liquor bottles, Dan tries to compose a straight face. Is Phil honestly going to try and argue that his job is difficult? When was the last time that guy ever grabbed a broom, or handled someone’s sticky change?

In a minute, Dan is going to go into the corner of the dance floor, get down on his knees, and clean up some randomer’s come. A few weeks ago he saw Phil swanning about a five-star hotel in Korea. If AmazingPhil’s worst complaint is that he had to have a few questionable outfit choices put on him, and some silvery goo in his hair, then he needs a reality check.

Nevertheless, Dan knows that he can’t say any of this. Not only would he never dream of insulting Phil Lester, but it’s pointless to try and explain the differences between classes to someone in a privileged position. They’ve usually forgotten how to understand.

“Are you close by, at least?” Phil asks, interrupting Dan’s thoughts.

Dan turns back to him. “Kemptown. It’s half an hour’s walk, more or less.”

“You walk?” Phil asks, eyebrows skyrocketing towards his quiff. “At two in the morning?”

“Five in the morning on weekends,” Dan confirms, hiding a smile at Phil’s surprise. “It’s okay, you get used to it. Besides, it’s mostly just drunk idiots chugging cans of cider and threatening to run into the sea. Not too scary.”

Despite Dan’s reassurance, the look of pity and concern on Phil’s face doesn’t subside. After a while, Dan turns from it, feeling awkward. He busies himself with clearing away the last of the empty glasses, yawning into the crook of his elbow. Tonight was rough.

“You should crash at mine,” Phil blurts.

Sure he must have misheard, Dan faces Phil slowly. “Um, what?”

“If you’re exhausted, I mean.” Phil fidgets, fingers tapping against his glass. “Like, on the nights you can’t face walking all the way home, you can totally just sleep on my sofa.”

Speechless, Dan simply stares.

“The couch is pretty comfy,” Phil continues in a ramble, not meeting Dan’s eye. “And my flat is just up the road, literally like a minute away. I’m not saying, y’know, come over every night, ‘cause obviously… that might be an issue, but you can absolutely stay round on, say, Saturday nights when you finish later. That wouldn’t be a problem.”

He’s just being nice. That’s Dan’s only explanation. Phil Lester is a sweetheart of a person, and he got so worried about the hypothetical danger involved in Dan’s walks home, that he offered something big, even though he didn’t really mean it.

Dan is a stranger to him. He needs to decline the polite offer, and let Phil off the hook he accidentally created to string himself up on.

So, Dan forces out a small chuckle, and says: “Oh, no, it’s really fine. Thanks for the offer, that’s really good of you, but I quite like the walk. It’s a nice come down after a busy night.”

Phil nods, chewing his lip. He looks unconvinced. “I’m not just saying it, though.” His voice has dropped to a lower tone. “Like tonight… you’re so tired, I can see it. Just grab some sleep at mine before you head back across town.”

As soon as Phil mentions it, the quilt of his own exhaustion flops around his shoulders, dragging Dan’s bones towards the floor. He tries to picture the stumble back to his crummy flat in Kemptown, loathing each imaginary step.

“You barely know me,” Dan says - one last attempt at refusal.

Sensing he’s won, Phil smiles very slightly, then downs the rest of his cocktail at last. “I don’t know if it’s just me, Dan, but I have this feeling that we’re going to be good friends.”

(Part 4!)

#phan #phanfic #bartender au #phanfiction

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kevinjamesisagiantpeach · 4 years

Text

The Zookeeper- Ryan & Susie in Conversation

Susie: So Ryan, what do you remember about the Zookeeper two weeks later? What immediately jumps out to you about it?

Ryan: “Show her your puddin’ cup!” jumps out at me.

S: How did I forget about that part? I was thinking about the sad gorilla cake. My number one thing about that movie was that heinous gorilla costume. It was on my top five list of topics “bad gorilla costume” and Kevin James just sitting in the gorilla pen talking to the gorilla. Am I remembering wrong or was that half of the movie?

R: There was a lot of time spent in the gorilla pen. I feel like we have hit both extremes of animal movies. We hit the animal movie where they were making the animals do too many things that ended up being too much and too creepy, like dancing and singing and CGI wiggling… stuff...

S: Wearing pants

R: Yes! Wearing pants and stuff. So, we hit that extreme and then in The Zookeeper, we sort of hit the extreme where animals were just acting like boring people.

S: Like standing around A LOT, like a ton of animal loitering. The zoo would close, the animals would loiter. They’d confer about Kevin James, decide to take action but their action was to circle around Kevin James.

R: Yeah. You know what is funny? There were no animal-related hijinx, other than the gorilla going to TGI Friday’s which is also really boring.

S: It’s truly boring but when I tell you there are so many clips of it on Youtube. People love that scene where he is the van listening to the Apple Bottom Jeans song with the gorilla. I was searching…I have to say there are parts of The Zookeeper that I like. I have to say that Rosario Dawson was a champ throughout this film. I don’t feel like we have seen, to date, sort of Kevin James love interest that has been as game as she has for the ridiculous hijinks and pratfalls. She made the most sense so far.

R: Yeah. She was good, actually, and I think because they worked together and sort of had a friendship through work, when they got together, you weren’t like, “Oh, how did that happen?”

S: Like Paul Blart and the hair extensions woman.

R: Yeah. No. That was weird. That was not appropriate.

S: So forced and then Salma Hayek who seemed to genuinely hate his character in Here Comes the Boom. Or not even hate but sort of..but yea, revile. She definitely wasn’t a fan.

R: Definitely not respect. I do not know why she ended up jumping on that train, but I have a feeling it was nothing to do with his personality.

S: It was because he saved just the music teacher’s job. At the end of the movie, the shocking part is… not to talk about Here Comes the Boom again, but I could, forever… it’s not saving the school’s budget, it’s just saving a teacher. In the same way, that in the Zookeeper he stops selling cars to save the gorilla? Is that right? The gorilla, there’s nothing even happening with the gorilla? That was sort of a red herring?The one guy bullied the gorilla but nothing ever came of it?

R: Well, the one guy bullied the gorilla, which I feel like could have been solved by reporting that guy to their boss.

S: Instead of just kicking him

R: Yeah, he just sort of killed that guy, I guess. I don’t know.

S: He got murdered

R: Yeah, that guy got murdered. But [Griffon] knew about it before then. I feel like if [Griffon said something along the lines of, “I suspect [Shane] is abusing the gorilla. I think we should put a camera in there.” That probably would have solved that problem. I feel like he never went to Step A before he went to killing that guy.

S: And also, it’s like the zoo wanted to punish the gorilla, when again, it’s an animal, it’s a wild animal, not even a domesticated animal. So they were like… he kinda, I don’t even think he bit the guy, so he doesn’t get a nice cage anymore, we put him in a shitty cage. This is not a moral thing that the zoo is doing. So that is my other question, why is no one ever at the zoo? Did they spend all the money on wedding extras and TGIFridays extras. But that zoo feels closed all of the time. No one is there but the employees and that’s why the animals loiter so much.

R: That’s true. There is definitely a financial crisis happening with that zoo.

S: And we never figured out what city it was in, we conjectured San Francisco

R: Didn’t we eventually think they were in Boston?

S: Oh yea, we Googled it

R: We eventually find out it’s in Boston, and that is also the final song of the movie is [by the band] Boston.

S: I think it’s so weird to have a movie set in Boston and then not have anything Boston related at all. They could have been anywhere. They might have been anywhere. Probably filmed in Quebec.

R: I do wonder if people from Boston would recognize that zoo somehow, if it’s iconic enough that if you actually had been to the zoo in Boston, you would be like, “Oh, I know exactly where that is.”

S: I don’t even feel like we even see that much of it The pudding cup scene that you mentioned where he pisses all over the place. I feel like we’re in the pen a lot, the aforementioned gorilla pen we’re in all the time, we see the eagles, we see Rosario Dawson’s lab but I would be hard pressed to tell you more of that zzo. I can’t even placed in the geography of the zoo where the engagement party was.

R: It also seemed like that zoo was just one very small area. It felt like everything was very clos to everything else

S: Basically the animals were stacked somehow.

R: This was a strange movie. I feel like we were supposed to think that Paul Blart was very committed and saving the animals--

S: Paul Blart? I love that this is basically Paul Blart, reconfigured, reconstituted

R: What is his name in the movie, again? It begins with a “G.” He’s got a strange name.

S: Gordon? I don’t remember

R: No, it’s not Gordon. I’ll look it up. I think it is definitely worth knowing his name because it is so odd.

S: I feel like I can never hold on to the names of Kevin James’s characters because it’s always shades of Kevin James. I’ve started talking about Kevin James in casual conversation at this point. Where I say things like “I think Kevin James is really happy with his life.” And different aspects of his acting.

R: I feel like he does have his shit together. *frantically typing and having computer trouble*

S: In the bloopers in the credits where he just, I guess it was in between takes, he just turns to the camera and says all of America hates me right now. I think its funny to think about, Adam Sandler is so mad that people don’t like his movies. Kevin James knows and doesn’t give a fuck. And it reminds me of when Tyler Perry was on Black AF and he’s talking about how people hate his movies and he’s like guess what, I sell a lot of tickets and I’m making movies that are true to my heart. If people don’t like that then fuck that because this is what I’m doing. And that’s why they’re all over the place because Kevin James is a complicated man.

R: Well, I think, like Tyler Perry-- I am actually glad you brought up his name because now I am enjoying this connection-- I feel like you can either relate to it or you can’t. If you can relate to Tyler Perry’s movies, then they’re funny. You’re like, “Yes. I get that. I enjoy this. This feels real to me.” I feel like Kevin James is a little bit like that, too. It’s easy to watch it and go, “Who would ever watch this?” But then when you actually think about it, it’s like-- no-- this is probably funny if you find something relatable in this situation.

R: I guess the running joke is that Kevin James is a squat, fat guy who is extremely dorky and awkward and falls in love with every woman he meets and in every movie, he is doomed to be that person, and if that is what you feel like in your life, it is probably funny to watch it.

S: He’s a millionaire so it’s the total bright side of that. Sure he might be all these things but he’s married to a beautiful woman and has this family and life that seems pretty fulfilling and what we have learned from his shorts is he is a legitimately good actor. He could just be a good actor which I could not get over. Why don’t we see more of this? Why doesn’t this show up in his movies? Is it because the writing is so bizarre?

R: I think the writing is one of the main culprits. We watch these movies and hit those points when Kevin James is funny. The fact that we’ve seen it is proof that [the problem] is not his ability to land a joke. It’s more the script. The script is just too flat in a lot of these movies. In Zookeeper, the script was-- it was hard to grab on to why you care what is happening.

S: Yes

R: His name is Griffin, by the way.

S: Oh, o yea, it’s like a last name first name

R: It’s probably because it’s an animal name.

S: I feel the Zookeeper suffers from what most of the movies he’s in suffers from which is tonal confusion. At first we’re like ok we have this guy who loves his job, total Kevin James thing, loves rules, total Kevin James thing, and is hopelessly in love with a woman who is not going to love him back to the same degree, total Kevin James thing. But then all of a sudden of all these red pill MRA shit themes start coming in. And we’re like who is this? This is not my Kevin James. And the thing is that those parts of the film feel icky. Like that part of the film feels so much more Grown Ups than anything else we’ve seen him in. Where I’m like David Spade would someone totally do this. Like you could see this showing up on his Twitter feed like “make a woman feel bad about herself”

R: I think that is one of the things that I find most troubling about Kevin James movies. I don’t want Kevin James movies to be low key sexist or high key sexist. It’s hard to tell where on the spectrum these movies fall.

S: Because of the tonal confusion

R: Yes because of the tonal confusion. It’s a weird combination of he’s putting these women on a pedestal and sometimes he’s forming genuine relationships that you can appreciate with these women. They are always strong. They are not really vapid in these movies. These are smart capable women. These characters in the are interesting people who you are like, yes, I respect this person. And then I think where it falls apart is the way he actually gets women. That’s when it starts to become creepy. So, if you learn how to manipulate women, you can just get them?

S: There’s no seeing him stick the landing. There’s no reason that the relationship goes from kind of contentious to they’re making fun of each other and there’s no real chemistry like in Here Comes the Boom, the connection between him and Salma Hayek, I’m honestly can’t remember if they actually got together or not but I know the movie was trying to take us by the hand. And I’m like we don’t need this. This can just be about his super intense friendship with Henry Winkler, Henry Winkler’s unorthodox home life and then finding himself through MMA fighting. I don’t need this romantic relationship shoe horned in. Almost in the same way as Paul Blart, the end game in Paul Blart did not need to be a woman and then it wasn’t in the second one but they kinda wanted us to want it to be. That whole plot thread with him, the hotel manager, and the security guard, what was that? I know this isn’t Zookeeper and we keep getting off subject but I think this is relevant,

R: I’m just saying, Paul Blart had a threesome with those people. I’m throwing it out there.

S: Oh 1000%

S: He’s negging them! It makes sense that he would end up with them. I predicted this. I knew this would happen. I orchestrated the whole thing. Are we then supposed to believe that Griffin also became awakened to this sort of pick up artist technique?

R: He didn’t use it on Rosario Dawson. They actually did the opposite. They had a rip roaring good time at that wedding and that’s why they got together. I think that is why this is the most painless Kevin James romantic interest matchup because when they get together you’re like, Yeah, I get that. You got invited to this wedding as a friend. You had an awesome time. You both acted ridiculous, probably destroyed this wedding, but enjoyed yourselves, and after that, you decided to be more than friends. That is actually an understandable sequence of events.

R: The negging thing-- I think we were supposed to be made to understand that it worked on Leslie Bibb because she is a shallow gold digger and those are the only types of guys that she goes out with, specifically.

S: Ok which is a perfect transtition to why is Joe Rogan in this movie? Are they BFFs why is Joe Rogan in these fucking movies?

R: I would say I think he just likes playing a douchebag in Kevin James movies, but I don’t know. It’s hard to say.

S: I am not under the impression that he is part of the Adam Sandler cabal so we have determined that Kevin James puts his brothers and his friends in all of his films.

R: And his wife.

S: And his wife. So he is the light side to Adam Sandler’s dark side. Does that then mean, that Joe Rogan is part of the Kevin James posse? Cause I really feel like we are coming onto something here.

R: Well, they must be friends, somehow.

S: We don’t see the reoccurrence of actors in these movies unless they’re friends. Because once you’re in a Zookeeper or Here Comes the Boom, you only need to be in one of these. You can just sort of live off residuals. Unless there is a different draw, you don’t really need to be in another.

R: Here is a Joe Rogan tweet from October 11, 2012, promoting Here Comes the Boom:

https://twitter.com/joerogan/status/256578871380549633?s=20

S: So this is definitely a branding thing

R: I wonder if it started with Here Comes the Boom, where Joe Rogan was in that movie because it was an Ultimate Fighter Movie, I guess.

S: Yes

R: And then maybe they did become friends because of that and decided to do more movies after that?

S: And then Joe Rogan’s podcast only took off later like he didn’t become the podcast guy until maybe 2015.

R: So, yeah, I guess that would kind of make sense is they would come up in their careers together through Kevin James movies, in part.

S: That’s so interesting though because that puts Kevin James in the power position in his friendship with Joe Rogan.

R: Yes. I actually did find an article. If you Google, “Kevin James Joe Rogan Friendship.”

S: As I do, every night before I go to bed but go ahead and tell me.

R: I don’t know what sherdog.com is. I don’t know what it is. It’s the global authority on mixed martial arts website.

S: I’m so glad this is going to be on your web history, your browser history. John’s going to be like “Ryan, are you ok?’

R: So, this is an article from October 11, 2012, entitled “Kevin James’ Friendship with Bas Rutten, Joe Rogan, Inspired Here Comes the Boom”

S: So they were already friends then went and wrote a movie?

R: Supposedly, they interviewed Kevin James. Oh, look-- you can listen to the full interview.

Interesting

R: So, they went on Sherdog Radio Network’s Beatdown Show

S: I love these words

R: And then they asked him where he got the idea for an MMA comedy and he said It really came from Joe Rogan and I talking. I’ve always wanted to try to incorporate some mixed martial arts into a movie, and Joe and I were talking about how we could make it a comedy. It seems difficult to do without making it goofy and jokey … . The challenge was just kind of getting a blend of real comedy and real moments and also infusing that with realistic MMA.”

S: So that makes so much more sense why Here Comes the Boom was so confusing. They were trying to do a lot. I think this whole project is going to lead me to listening to a ton of Kevin James interviews to just try to figure out what was the kernel that this bizarre movie started as and how the fuck did it end up where it is. And I’m going to definitely look up what lead to the Zookeeper because if this is what led to Here Comes the Boom that means the Zookeeper was Kevin James was a at a zoo and thought what if the animals could talk and give me love advice.

R: It sounds like he and Joe Rogan are friends just because they are both comedians.

S: So Joe Rogan is big at the Comedy Store and I wonder if Kevin James used to do stand up there? Cause Joe Rogan one of THE people on the LA comedy scene. I feel like we’re going to end up writing a book about Kevin James someday.

R: I would be fine with that. Could you imagine if we actually got the opportunity to interview Kevin James?

S: I would love that. I feel like… and I’m going to take a big swing right now…he is the connective tissue that holds Hollywood together. But for real, we’re finding out that he low key has just been…and long term fans would think I’m ridiculous for saying this, I feel like he’s been kinda flying under the radar in a way that I’m unaware of. But think about how few actors get to act as long as he’s been acting. He’s been around since the early 2000s that’s like longevity stuff and it seems like he’s always trying stuff.

R: I actually wish that I had known about Here Comes the Boom before I watched Here Comes the Boom. I would love to know the conversation that sparked the Zookeeper. I wish that I was there for the making of before I saw the final product. I think if I knew more about the material beforehand, I would have a different relationship with the movie.

S: No that definitely makes sense because the thing we’re always questioning is intention. Like ok, so what exactly were we supposed to get out that scene? Or why would they have the characters do that? And I feel like from the little bit that I know about how the formulation of these things happened. They’re just trying stuff. Like we’re seeing what would now be relegated to a Youtube skit or a web series but they got to make a full Hollywood movie. Similar to Kevin Smith, being like I talked about the concept for Tusk on my podcast and then I went and made it. And it seems like Kevin James and his friends are doing that all the time. Like we were sitting around in our rich man’s houses and decided to make this film. By then he was flush with King of Queens money and Adam Sandler money so why not try some shit? And the studios keep signing off on it so he must be good money right? Or was that a Happy Madison Production?

R: I think that was a Happy Madison Production???? [EDIT: Yes, it is a Happy Madison Production.]

S: Cause that’s the other part if your best friend is going to cosign on your projects very little is risked

R: Let me see. At one point, I thought this was supposed to be a kid’s movie that their parents could watch with them.

S: Like a family film but so much of it centers around materialism and the compromise that happens when you’re with the wrong person. Even the hokey animal stuff like “show her your pudding cup” and “mark your territory”, I don’t even know how funny kids would think that was.

R: I mean, I’m trying to think back to when I was a kid, if I would have thought it was funny that he was peeing on a tree in front of actual children.

S: I think I would have felt uncomfortable because I would be like “an adult’s not supposed to do that” like stranger danger stuff.

R: One thing that struck me in the movie is how suggestible Griffin is. You could tell Griffin to do anything and he would just do it. I guess his character was like that because otherwise you wouldn’t have any jokes in the movie. So, like, he is peeing at this party. I feel like in a lot of other movies, they would create some scenario or misunderstanding that would make that happen, but in this movie, he just decided to pee at this party.

S: And the maitre d is way too understanding about it. Instead of ejecting him from the party, he’s like “hey you know have bathrooms right?” And Kevin James is like “yea” and then the subject is never revisited. And I’m sort of like that is not how that would have happened, the police would have been called. And like imagine being those other diners? So like you’re not going to kick him out? You’re just going to talk to him? Okkk

R: It also didn’t give him a private place to do that. I feel like in another movie, they would have given him a place to do that out of view and then he would have been caught, but he was just out in the open, peeing.

S: He was in the center of the restaurant, pissing in a planter. It was so, that’s the other part, that makes these movies so unbelievable. Kevin James as the main character is almost never the one acting most outrageously. Like he’s acting outrageously but so is everyone else here so it make it feel like it’s taking place in a crazy world. In the same way and I keep thinking about and I don’t know why this keeps coming up for me, the moment in Grown Ups where they’re at the water park. I’m having an issue phasing in and out of these movies at this point because they all have the same problems. But when they’re at the water park and everyone’s acting bananas. Where they have that weird scene where they sneaking onto the water slide the wrong way, and they keep going on the water slide and Steve Buscemi is there for no reason and Kevin James steals that kids milk and no one is behaving properly. So are we to believe that this is just a world where no one behaves properly or is the main characters behavior setting everyone else off like a domino effect?

R: I feel like it also diminishes some of the humor of what’s happening. I feel like if everyone thinks it’s normal to pee in a restaurant, where’s the joke?

S:I completely agree. With no juxtaposition, without a straight man, where’s the joke? It’s just like everyone acting like an asshole and I just think I’m glad I’m not there. Once the lose of decorum is normalized, it’s no longer funny. It’s just like oh, we’re in a gross out world.

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steaktalk · 7 years

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seems like you chilled out on alcohol quite a bit. was that just a natural consequence of rearranging friendships or conscious choice? schedule's filling up, thinking it might be time.. any tips?

I quit drinking because it was getting in the way of what I wanted to do

And because alcoholics and coke heads around me were fucking up my life

And because it started to gross me out when I looked at people around me and myself

Theres just a point when the fact that I could keep up drinking with all the dudes just became gross to me because when I saw those dudes in the day light they all looked like pickled shit. It was hard because being one of the dudes was a solid part of my identity for almost my entire life and that came with it.

but at 30 if youre at the bar more than youre stacking your money theres a problem. Have you been watching any of the epicly latereds? I suggest those. Theyre inspiring for sobriety and also for business owners. Even if you arent an alcoholic. Theyre inspiring for clarity.

When I met and became very good friends ( and now business partners) with erik ellington who was my idol growing up and who was newly sober at the time it really changed a lot of things for me. Because I was worried that being sober would make me weird or uncool. And then i slowly figured out a lot of the people i really love have been sober for a long time. Mostly people I really respect and people who put out fuckign COOL stuff.

A lot of the baker boys, skip_class, julian from stray rats, paloma, natalia, niki takesh, matty matheson, geno from lurk hard, tyler.. all of these people Ive been totally admiring forever in my friend group are sober and fucking cool and they remind me every day you dont have to be at the club with everyone until 4 am to get jobs or look cool. They have more time to work, and be authentic to themselves.

I live in a big city, with a lot of creatives, and alcohol is so easy and sort of common place that its so easy to trick yourself into being fine with it.. but i dunno.. I think i just started feeling like it was dorky. Hang overs are dorky. I wanted to make more money and get serious about everything. and I am.

And the emotional impact it has on people on their lives isnt worth me ever risking for my own. I have terrible anxiety issues, and alcohol truly amplifies stress and anxiety.

An easy way to keep yourself away from it is to remind yourself that probably most of the arguements or stresses youve had in yourlife someone has probably been drinking.. even just a few glasses of wine. Problems with alcohol doesnt always mean you have an “alcohol problem”.

I just didnt want to contribute to that or waste anymore time being hung over.

Another easy way is to see photos of urself drunk lol.. that was enough for me.

I go into other areas of drinking in the book im writing, so there are still a lot of thoughts on it that im processing. I hope this is clear enough until then.

Tips would be A LOT OF CLEAR SODAS. I truly believe sober people keep la criox in business (before it become cool on instagram) and to find a friend to do the first 30 days with you.. call it a cleanse. It seems less committal and it makes peer pressure back off when people think ur on a fad diet

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blurry-fics · 5 years

Text

Saturday

A Weekend at the Josephs | Series Masterlist

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3057

Author’s Note: I hope all of you are enjoying this miniseries so far. I know it’s a little different than what I usually post! I hope you like the chapter :) (picture credit)

Sun was shining down on my legs as I sat on the front steps, waiting for Sav and Josh to come and pick me up. A light wind was rustling the trees and knocking the first few orange leaves from their branches onto the pavement below. Inside, I could just barely make out Zack and Jay having an argument.

Sav’s Jeep came into view around the corner and I stood up to meet them at the end of the driveway. She had all of the windows rolled down, revealing Josh and his bright blue hair hanging out the back. He called out to me once I was within earshot.

“I gave you shotgun! Sav told me you’ve been stressed.”

I turned and looked towards the front door, paranoid that one of the kids had opened it and overheard what Josh said. Nobody was there, as should have been expected.

“Thanks, Josh,” I said as I climbed into the passenger seat. Sav turned down the music she had been blasting and smiled at me.

“How are you doing?”

“I’m exhausted,” I explained. “Tyler kept me up until nearly three playing video games and then I had to wake up at nine so that I would be ready for breakfast. I’m not used to being on a schedule like this.”

“At least you and Tyler are getting along!”

“Yeah, you definitely have a point.”

Sav pulled away from the curb and used one of the neighbor’s driveways to turn around and head back for the main road. She had still yet to fill me in on what the final plan for the day was.

“Did you ever talk about him ditching you?”

“He was actually the first one to bring it up, which was nice because I’m not so sure I would have been able to go through with it. He apologized for how he’s been acting and said he really wants to work on being better.”

“That’s awesome!”

“Yeah, I’m just hoping that he means it, you know?”

“I’m sure he does.”

“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

Sav didn’t say anything after that, so I turned and looked out the window. Josh started to tell a story soon after, which I half paid attention to.

Mostly, my mind was just on Tyler.

* * *

As I soon found out, the established plan was to get smoothies and sit outside the small shop in what little bit of summer we had left before fall started to set in. I was on one side of the table facing Josh and Sav, who were sitting closer in their metal chairs than I thought was possible for two humans to sit. One of Josh’s arms was slung casually over the back of Sav’s chair, the other busy holding his smoothie.

“Do you work tomorrow?” Sav asked, turning her head towards Josh. She was currently pushing her straw through her smoothie, trying to get it to flow a little better.

“Yeah, I have a shift in the morning.”

“Kae.”

“Yeah?”

“You want to come over tomorrow morning? We can hang out with Paul.”

I smiled at the mention of Sav’s bearded dragon. Any opportunity to hang out with him - and Sav - was a good one.

“Yeah, that would be cool. Can you pick me up?”

“Yep.”

“Ok, awesome.”

I turned out towards the parking lot. There was a group of teenagers standing outside one car, obviously in the middle of some sort of heated argument. One of them was waving their arms wildly in the air.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?”

I didn’t realize Sav’s statement was directed at me until it was met with silence. I turned my gaze away from the group of teenagers and looked down at my smoothie, which was starting to need a stir of its own.

“What’s up?”

“Do you still like Tyler?”

My eyes snapped to hers. Josh was looking between the two of us, as if this wasn’t a possibility that he had considered before. I could tell by the way that she was looking at me that it was a genuine question, not something meant to lay all my secrets out in front of Josh.

“Um, yeah. I do.”

“How did I not pick up on that?” Josh sighed.

“I try not to talk about it often,” I laughed. “The less people know that I have a huge crush on my best friend, the better it is for all of us.”

“How long have you liked him?”

“A few months or so. It started developing during spring break, but by the time summer rolled around and we started to spend more time together, there was no going back.”

“Does he know how you feel?”

“No, I try not to hint at it.”

Josh’s eyebrows furrowed, “Why not?”

“It’s awkward, I guess, and I never really got the vibe that he felt the same.”

Josh shifted a little so that now both of his elbows were rested on his knees. He and I had never been that close, mostly due to the fact that he and Sav had only been dating for just under a year and I had been hesitant to get close to him until I knew it was serious, so I was surprised by his level of investment in my love life.

“What if he’s just as scared as you to hint at his feelings?”

I fiddled with the plastic rim of my smoothie cup lid. “I guess I had never thought of it that way before.”

Josh leaned back in his chair and put his arm back where it had been behind Sav. After a long sip of his smoothie, he continued talking.

“Sometimes you have to take risks when it comes to feelings. I wasn’t sure that Sav felt the same way I did, but I asked her on a date anyway and now look where we are.”

Josh turned to Sav with a dorky grin, but she was looking at him with a confused expression.

“Josh, I came into Guitar Center like three times a week. How could you think I wasn’t into you?”

“For awhile there I thought you were just really into drums!”

“Yes, because you worked with the drums, dummy,” Sav laughed, leaning into Josh’s shoulder.

“Ok, yeah, maybe I should have picked up on that,” he said. He moved his arm forward so that it was now resting on Sav’s shoulders rather than the chair. “Anyway, my point is, it might not be such a bad idea for you to start hinting at your feelings.”

“And how do I do that?” I asked. Flirting had never really been a skill of mine.

“Go into Guitar Center three times a week,” Sav snorted.

“Or just make little forms of physical affection, like touching his arm or something.”

“But if he’s my best friend, isn’t he going to think that’s normal?”

“Yeah, they kind of already act like a couple,” Sav interjected.

“What?” I asked.

“Oh, come on. You always sit next to one another and get your legs all tangled up and Tyler laughs at all your jokes and you tease him all the time. If I didn’t know any better, I would think you two were already together.”

“So what I’m hearing is that they both like one another but are too afraid to admit it?” Josh asked.

“Pretty much.”

“That’s not the case,” I frowned.

My phone buzzed against the metal table, allowing me a temporary escape from Josh and Sav grilling me. I flipped it over and checked the notifications. Among a few from Tumblr, there was a text from Tyler.

Tyler: are you at the house?

Kae: no. sav and josh came and picked me up to get smoothies and hang out for awhile. why do you ask?

“Who is that?” Sav asked.

“Tyler,” I said, knowing that answer definitely wasn’t going to help my case.

“What did he say?”

“He asked if I was at the house.”

“Why?”

“Um, because…”

Tyler: i’m at band practice and we were debating going a little longer, but i would rather come home and hang out with you if that was a possibility.

“...he was trying to decide if he should keep practicing with the band or come home early to hang out with me instead.”

Sav immediately threw her hands in the air. “What did I tell you?”

I was too busy typing out a text to respond to her immediately.

Kae: oh yeah, i’m not at the house. i’ll be home for dinner though, so we can hang out after that :)

“He probably just wants to make sure I’m not bored out of my mind or stuck with his family.”

“Uh huh, totally,” Sav said, shooting me a look. “Not because he genuinely wants to spend time with you or anything.”

Tyler: perfect :)

“Shut up,” I laughed, setting my phone back down on the table.

“I’m just saying,” Sav shrugged. “There could be something there.”

* * *

I ended up getting back to the house earlier than intended, although I was pretty sure part of that was Sav’s doing. She claimed that her mom needed her and Josh back to their house by four, even though she had claimed they were free until I had to get back when they had initially picked me up. Not that I minded, I was looking forward to spending more time with Tyler.

“There you are!” he grinned as I opened the door. He had been sprawled out on the couch when I walked in the door, but in a matter of seconds he had gotten up and joined me in the entryway. “I’ve been bored out of my mind.”

“You know it’s not my job to entertain you, even if I’m staying here,” I laughed as I kicked off my shoes. “Besides, weren’t you at band practice until a little while ago?”

“Yeah, but that’s been stressful lately because of Chris and Nick wanting to leave and stuff.”

“Well, my plan is to just sit around on my laptop until dinner is ready, but you’re free to join me in doing that.”

“Sure, that sounds fun.”

That wasn’t the answer I had been expecting from Tyler, but I was happy to hear it nonetheless.

“You want to race up the stairs?” Tyler asked, raising one of his eyebrows.

“Always.”

Together, we made an unnecessary amount of noise as we ran up the stairs to the guest room and launched ourselves onto the bed. Tyler beat me by a fraction of a second, but only because I forgot which direction to go at the top of the stairs in my rush to beat him. He laughed as I crashed down next to him.

“Ten bucks my mom makes a comment about us running down the stairs when she comes to get us for dinner.”

“You think that will happen?”

“Definitely.”

“Then I would be dumb to take that bet,” I laughed.

I sat up so that I could grab my laptop from the nightstand and shifted so that my back was against the headboard. Tyler stayed laying down for a moment longer before he sat up and scooted close enough that our arms brushed against one another every time I slid my fingers across the trackpad.

“Hey, speaking of band stuff,” I said as I began to pull up Tumblr. “Sav’s boyfriend is a drummer and a really cool guy. If you need someone to take Chris’ place, he might not be a bad option.”

“It’s starting to look like that might be the case,” he sighed. “I’d love to meet him though, even if we just end up being friends.”

“For sure.”

I began to scroll through Tumblr, catching up on the things that I had missed while I was out with Sav and Josh. Tyler watched over my shoulder, occasionally asking questions about things that popped up. It was nice hanging out with Tyler like this again, just doing something completely mundane but managing to make the most out of it. No wonder him ditching me had been so upsetting, there weren’t many other people in my life that were able to make the most of any situation like Tyler could.

“Who is that again?” he asked, pointing to a photoset that was on the screen.

“For the third time, that is Brendon Urie,” I laughed.

“And what does he do?”

“He’s a musician! Panic! At The Disco? My favorite band?”

“Right, right. I remember now.”

“If you ask about him again, I’m not going to answer.”

“Ok.”

I had scrolled maybe two posts down when another picture of Brendon popped up. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the evil grin that was plastered on Tyler’s face.

“Who is that?” he asked, pointing to the picture that he very obviously recognized.

Although I was smiling, I was determined to stay true to my promise to not answer Tyler if he asked about him again. Tyler, of course, wasn’t planning to make this easy.

“Kae, come on,” he said, drawing out the end. “Who is that?”

I shook my head.

“I’m just trying to recognize the people you like!”

An eye roll.

“Kae,” he whined, leaning his head onto my shoulder.

My smile was wiped in an instant, replaced with panic. I took a deep breath - though not deep enough that Tyler would be able to tell I was intentionally taking a deep breath - and continued to scroll. Tyler and I did stuff like this all the time, so it was no big deal, right?

That is, until I remembered what Sav had said.

“Is it Brendon Urie?” he asked.

“Yes, Ty, it’s Brendon Urie.”

“Ha! I got you to say it.”

I expected Tyler to move his head after he got the answer that he wanted out of me, but instead he continued to lean on me as I scrolled through Tumblr. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I really liked having him this close to me. It was tempting to tilt my head just a little so that it was resting on top of his, but I decided against it. That seemed a little too obvious for my liking.

We stayed like that for at least twenty minutes, just scrolling through my Tumblr with Tyler making occasional comments. Neither of us commented on the fact that he was leaning on me, but neither of us did anything to stop it either. If you asked me, it was a pretty good summary of how our relationship had been up until this point.

“Hey, can I talk to you about something?” Tyler asked.

“Sure,” I said, removing my hand from my laptop. “What’s going on?”

“There's something that I’ve been meaning to tell you for awhile now.”

I sincerely hoped that Tyler couldn’t tell how hard my heart was pounding from where he was laying.

“What is that?”

“So, um, I-”

Tyler was interrupted by his mom knocking on the door. He pulled away from me so fast that he nearly overshot his landing and ended up on the floor on the far side of the bed, but he managed to catch himself just in time to prevent that from happening. I was barely able to contain my laughter from his escapades paired with the panicked look on his face.

“Dinner is ready,” his mom smiled.

“Thanks, we’ll be down soon,” Tyler answered.

His mom closed the door, none the wiser to what had just been happening. I was sure my cheeks were bright red just from the amount of heat I could feel burning within them and I was glad she hadn’t decided to ask any questions about it.

“Should we go?” he asked, pointing a finger towards the door.

I briefly debated asking Tyler what he was about to say, but decided it was better left unsaid if he hadn’t brought it up a second time. Besides, I wasn’t about to risk making things awkward when he was my only savior during family dinners.

“Yeah, let’s do it.”

* * *

I scooped the last bit of melted ice cream from the bottom of my bowl and brought it to my mouth, making obnoxious slurping sounds that I knew would bother Tyler. He looked up from his keyboard and shot me a look, which only made me giggle and nearly get ice cream all over my - well, Tyler’s - sweatshirt.

“If you do that one more time I’m going to smack that spoon out of your hands,” Tyler laughed.

“Lucky for you, that was the last little bit of ice cream I had.”

Tyler mouthed a quiet thank you in the ceiling’s direction before looking back down at his keyboard with a smile. I set my bowl on the desk and scooted further into the middle of the room, giving me room to swing idly from side to side. He watched me for a moment before grabbing a pencil and scribbling some words down.

“Hey, Ty?”

“Yeah?”

“What were you going to ask me earlier?”

Tyler pursed his lips for a moment and drew in a deep breath. After a moment, he reached up and pulled his headphones completely off, letting them hang around his neck.

“It was, um, just something.”

“Just something? Didn’t you say you’ve been meaning to tell me for awhile?”

His nose scrunched up as he scratched at his eyebrow. “Uh, yeah, I did say that.”

“So are you going to tell me?”

“Not tonight.”

I swallowed down the frustration that was starting to bubble in my chest. “Then when?”

“I don’t know. Tomorrow, maybe?”

“And you can’t tell me now because..?”

He smiled to himself, “You’re going to hate me for saying this, but it just doesn’t feel right.”

“And how do you know tomorrow will?”

“I don’t.”

“Tyler.”

“What?”

“Just tell me.”

“I’m not going to do that.”

I pursed my lips and leaned back into the chair, letting my head tilt back until I was looking up at the ceiling. Starting an argument was tempting, but I didn’t want to ruin what little chance there was of Tyler telling me, well, whatever this was before I had to go back home on Monday morning.

“It’ll be worth the wait, Kae. I promise.”

#ks youau wc #tyler x kae #a weekend at the josephs #awatj #blurry-fics

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