#Totally legit recap

[howlingday]

Sun: Hey, Jaune! Want a hug~?

Jaune: Yes... Please...

Sun: Ha! I'm just kidding! Get fucked!

Jaune: THAT'S NOT FAIR!

Sun: Whatever! I'm the best blond dick, and there's no way you're gonna beat me in any sort of popularity contest!

Yang: Suck my dick, Sun!

Sun: Whip it out, bitch; I'll make you wanna marry me~.

[str8aura-no-not-that-one]

filed under 'scenes from abridged series i am literally always thinking about'

[imjusthereforironwood]

Featuring a wacky group of side characters like tired cyborg dad, a Clockwork Orange cosplayer, an edgy dead Chick Fil A mascot, the mom who went out for milk, and a living ice cream bar.

Sometimes a family is a girl who laser-beams monsters with her eyeballs, a class traitor, a rebel cat princess, the concept of California beaches made flesh, a support main who moonlights as a criminal, the pink goddess of thunder, a dead cereal mascot, an invisibility cloak of emotions, a 5000 year old farmboy, and a depressed bird.

[silelda]

Price: *walks in on 141 arguing* So...what's going on?

Ghost: You want the long version or the short version?

Price: The short one, I guess?

Ghost: Shit's fucked.

[tf2incorrectquotes]

Scout: You know, Ma, I finally realized something. I am an asshole! But it's okay, because I've found my people.

[welcomehomeincorrectquotes]

Narrator: Meanwhile, Jax is super satisfied with himself because he's tricked Wally into regaling Caine and Bubbles with tales of his friend's exploits instead of supervising this episodes' lesson.

Jax: *laying back and smugly eating popcorn*

Wally: *casually without changing his tone* ...that's how we managed to build a ladder to the moon, befriended the Moon Princess and saved the world so that Jax here could learn about friendship.

Jax: *pauses mid-bite as Wally turns to look at him, a knowing look in his eyes*

Wally: *leans towards Jax's ear, whispering* Now let's go, you *HONK*ing amateur.

Jax: *is so shocked by the tonal whiplash that he lets himself be dragged away*

Narrator: Jax doesn't realise it yet, but Wally has spent his entire life with Home and all his crazy friends. His Bull-*HONK* Detector is more finely honed than your katana.

[emmikay]

Ed: So… what’s going on?

Mustang: You want the long version or the short version?

Al: The short one, I guess?

Mustang: Shit’s fucked.

Ed: Oh. Well, yeah, that’s definitely not an optimal situation.

[uptillion]

Josh: I hope you learned something from that story Chris. Chris: I sure did. I learned that sometimes, people wont listen no matter how you might present your side of the argument, and at that point, the only thing you can do is stay out of the way or.... your own best friend might ....saw your wiener off??? Josh: I forgot what I was trying to teach you, but... that sounds about right.

[incorrect-starbula]

Peter: The great thing about alcohol is it’s cheap, everyone likes it and it makes all your problems go away. And you can share it with all your friends!

Adam: That sounds amazing! But there must be a catch, right?

Peter: The only catch is that you can never, ever stop drinking, or all the problems will come back and they’ll be even worse now because you didn’t deal with them when you should have.

Adam: That’s it?

Peter: That’s it.

Nebula, in the background: Liver damage.

[angelhareincorrectquotes]

Segan: You know, I finally realized something. I am an asshole! But it’s okay, because I’ve found my people.

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Gamzee: i’Ve GoTtA pIcK uP a FeW pArTy SuPpLiEs

Karkat: NO SLIME, GAMZEE.

Gamzee: BuT i WaNt It! :O(

[howlingday]

Jaune: Guess the series is over now, huh?

Blake: Mhm, though I can't say I saw the ending coming the way it did.

Jaune: Kinda wish there was a big bang finale at the end.

Yang: Those bombs made a pretty big bang, especially when The Brothers showed up.

Jaune: Yeah, but I thought maybe you guys would be fighting and struggling at the end there, and you'd start getting beaten down, but then I'd show up at the end to help and cut off Salem's hand, freeing you and allowing you the time I gave you to use the power of teamwork and a simple soul to seal her away for good.

Jaune: (Sighs) I could have been a good character for once...

Weiss: Jaune, what are you talking about? You already did that! Don't get me wrong, that finale does spund fucking dope and probably would have been the best fucking climactic showdown of the entire series, but it still would have just been a big flashy metaphor for something you've already done.

Ruby: We've all fucked up, Jaune. I was suffering from depression while Weiss fought cartoon physics and Blake and Yang got... either hooked up or fucked or something?

Weiss: (Coughs) Fuckingfinally (Coughs)

Ruby: The fate of the world was literally at stake and not once did you break under the weight of it all, never did you turn your back on your friends, and despite all the hate people might still have for you even after all how much you've proven yourself, and you have proven yourself, YOU were still the one who hung on to the end, Jaune. I fucking cracked, and in my darkest hour, YOU were the light that helped guide our friends to me simply by being the voice of reason and compassion. And sure, quiet fortitude might not be as entertaining as over the top anime showdowns to the most butt-rock of songs, but most people can't have those things anyway.

Ruby: But they can be like you, though, and I hope they try because there's no place in this life where humility, self-reflection, and resilience won't serve you well. You're a top-tier character, Jaune Arc,

AND YOU FUCKING EARNED THIS

[str8aura-no-not-that-one]

its that time of year again: Time for the Totally Legit Recap christmas special, and one of my favorite scenes from the entire series

(og episode)

[incorrectcultofthelambquotes]

Ratau: So... what’s goin’ on?

Lamb: You want the long version or the short version?

Ratau, hesitantly: The short one, I suppose?

Lamb: Shit’s fucked.

Ratau: Oh. Well, yeah, that’s definitely not an optimal situation.

[silelda]

Ghost: One thing I love about Price is that he understands the value of a good bitch slap. He's very courteous, he always try to talk sense into people first. But the Captain here clearly recognizes that sometimes people don't listen to reason and you just gotta smack 'em around a little bit.

[youjustwaitsunshine]

i have a homework due today and ive barely started but its christmas season so i will follow my beloved lecturers (not the one who gave the homework) advice from his uni days, drink a glass of red wine and then write it all in one go