#Top Sin™

[thegreatyin]

mr spices and mr wines. also mr candles and mr veils.

have you ever seen that one tumblr post that's like. "i don't ship these characters i just think they belong in couples therapy together". yeah. that's pretty much my stance on most spacebat ships

[byuntrash101]

incubus: coming of age

fem!reader x incubus!san smut | mdni 11.3k being in love with your boss, doctor jeong yunho, is a nightmare. unlike this dream you're having right now of him gently kissing you in the middle of the night. but something feels off. doctor jeong doesn't quite sound like himself... nsfw tags under the cut

multiple smut scenes (2), demon!san (needs its own warning), the duality© of choi san he's cute and sweet then hot then even hotter, he's pouty and whiny and then a cocky little shit, monster cock!san (i mean he do be a demon tbh so don't expect realism), dirty talk (he's filthy), oral (f&m), eye contact>>>, breath play, overstim (f), multiple orgasms (he ain't no sex demon for nothing), slight dumbification, breeding kink, a sprinkle of spit play, explicitly asking for consent, pet names (kitten, baby, good girl), breath play, praising, begging™ (that's my brand baby), bulge kink, marking (in a quite literal sense), orgasm control, squirting, an ungodly amount of cum, cum play, lowkey wholesome ending <3 a/n: please enjoy this rework of an old fic of mine

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“Aaaah… Don’t stop” you huffed as you gripped on the bed sheets tightly “I’m cumming” you cry out through gritted teeth, furiously rubbing on your aching and throbbing nub. “F-fuck… Aaaah… Yunho…” You moaned, his name so naturally rolling off your tongue as you pushed yourself over the edge, finally grasping your orgasm and letting it wash over you in waves of heated bliss.

Once your sinful deeds accomplished, you sighed to yourself, lying wide awake in the dark bedroom, contemplating the blank ceiling as your bare chest heaved up and down. 

You did it again… You just couldn’t help yourself, you touched yourself to your handsome boss… Again!

You clicked your tongue, annoyed at your own lack of will.

Yunho was the head of the ophthalmology department at the KQ Medical Center where you worked. Doctor Jeong Yunho was everything a woman in her mid 20s, such as yourself, could desire. He was tall and well built, had strong broad shoulders that seemed like they could carry the weight of the entire world, he was unbelievably attractive with his big puppy eyes and a smile that could light up a room. And on top of that he was incredibly smart and a true gentleman, a wonderful listener, always considerate of his team and that smile! You thought again as you recalled how he looked fondly at you earlier today as you handed him yet another patient file.

As an ophthalmologist of said team, you worked directly under him. And God knew how much more you wanted to do under him…

You shook your head…You really had to stop dreaming about your married boss. Yes, he was married, happily married. And yes, your little thoughts and heart flutters were nothing more than that… dreams, just silly dreams.

You sighed and flipped to your side, tucking your head comfortably on the pillow to finally get some sleep. Not even taking the time to slip your panties back on. Simply buttoning your nightgown back up.

***

You have no idea how long you’ve slept for when you’re woken up by the sound of a pair of lips smacking and the feeling of the said lips attached to your bare shoulder. You blinked a few times, your blurry eyes adapting to the dark room solely illuminated by the rays of the full moon peeking through the blinds. Your eyes fell on the blonde tuft of hair occupied with gently nibbling on your collarbone.

“Hmmm… You finally woke up y/n?” The man lifted his head…

Dr Jeong?!?!

You flung yourself to the headboard, covering yourself with your blanket. Yunho was not at all startled by the sudden screech of terror you emitted and just casually joined you up the mattress. He leaned in and started to playfully lick around your ear. His tongue was surprisingly cool against your burning ear and the tickling sensation raised goosebumps on your skin.

���Aaah” A soft and unexpected moan seeped from your lips. You immediately clapped your hand over your traitorous mouth, refraining from moaning again. Your ears have always been your weak spot.

“Oh baby, you’re so sensitive” his deep voice resonated in your auditory, shivers running down your spine as you fought the urge to lean your head back to give him more access to your neck.

“Dr. Jeong,” you started, voice wavering before the tall blonde interrupted you. 

“Call me Yunho, darling” The pet name spoken in his soft sultry voice made arousal stir your guts around, the butterfly wings tickling your stomach as they took off by thousands.

“Y-Yunho, what are you doing?” You asked in a short breathed whisper, trying so hard not to whimper and, against all odds, succeeding. Yunho smirked, wet lips pressed against the thin skin of your neck.

“Come on baby… You know exactly what I’m doing” He marked a long pause to suck on your earlobe, compelling you to close your eyes. “I’m here to make your wildest dreams come true” Your eyes immediately shot open.

“How would you know about that?” You pushed him away to have a look at his face.

“I just do,” he shrugged nonchalantly before trying to go back to your neck, but you stopped him with a firm hand on his broad chest right between his pecs.

“There’s no way Doctor Jeong would know about that or even act like that at all… Who are you?” You asked, squinting as you grew suspicious. The man chuckled, incredulous.

“Y/n… It’s me Yunho your super sexy gynecologist boss”

Dread crept under your skin, you gasped loudly as you brought the covers further up your body… Doctor Jeong would never speak of himself as “super sexy” and above all else… He’s not a gynecologist!

“Who are you really?” you asked, tilting your head and frowning.

Soon the man dropped his shoulders and the fake reassuring smile, turning his face away from yours.

“Fine!” he spat, he got up from the bed and right there before your very eyes, red smoke started to form at the bottom of his feet, soon enveloping completely his big and tall figure. You rubbed your eyes, persuaded to still be in deep sleep, that was the only logical explanation.

When the smoke dissipated, Yunho was gone and there stood a boy. He had raven black locks of shiny hair perfectly sitting on top of his head, piercing and sharp dark brown orbs looking right into yours and pouty pink lips.

Well, a boy that is if you disregard the two obvious 10 cm (4in) tall horns that sprouted out of his forehead. And a just-as-obvious spade shaped black tail dangling behind him.

He was wearing an oversized black hoodie and a pair of denim shorts with thick white sneakers. He shoved his hands in his back pockets, looking annoyed.

“Who are you?” You asked again, this time more to yourself as you have trouble trusting your own eyes. The thing -for lack of a better word- runs his black stained fingertips through his hair.

“My name is San” he finally said.

“What are you?” you asked after clearing your throat trying not to squeal. San rolled his eyes and sighed deeply, his expression shifting from exasperated to defeated.

“I’m an incubus”

“A what?!” You nearly choked on your own saliva.

“A sex demon that-”

“I know what an incubus is!” you interrupted him, frustrated at the irrational scene taking place before your eyes.

“Well… At least I was supposed to become one” he looked down. You tilted your head in confusion. “Yeah… today is my exam… You’re my exam” You frowned your brows, the confusion thickening in your eyes.

“Your exam?” you echoed.

“Yeah, I was supposed to seduce you to pass…” Your heart jumped into your throat.

“Seduce me?!?” you said louder than intended, feeling yourself almost slipping into cardiac arrest.

“Are you going to repeat everything I say?” he snapped back with a biting tone. “Yeah… I kinda like… studied you and your preferences all semester just for today but it’s all for nothing… I’m going to fail anyway” he hung his head low, sulking cutely.

His words barely made any sense in your fuzzy mind. But then you took a closer look at him, he looked so sad, his cat-like eyes turned droopy, his lips forming an adorable pout as he nervously whipped his tail around. You immediately cursed your subconscious that decided to send you such a weird dream tonight. But the pouting incubus had you second guessing yourself.

“Well…I guess I can make an effort so you can pass your exam” His tail perked up and his eyes instantly lit up.

“Really?” 

You hesitated again.

“Y…yes” you dragged on the word, as if you were trying to keep the right of changing your mind for as long as possible.

“Oh, thank you so much!!!” he chirped, his lips stretching in the most adorable smile, making his sharp eyes turn into two small crescents. And you didn’t really know why but his happiness spread to you, you found yourself mirroring the beaming smile of the heart warming demon.

But something didn't sit right with you.

“Wait, an exam… how old are you?” you asked, uncertain again. San’s smile faded away as he tilted his head to think.

“Hm… You mean in demonic blood moon years or human sun years?” he asked dead serious. When you didn’t reply anything and only looked at him with round and confused eyes, he started mumbling to himself. “Yeah, how would she know what a blood moon year is…” he started counting on his fingers “I’ll be… One… Two… Ten… 19 years old in July” He said proudly puffing his chest.

“Oh my God! You’re only 18!!!” you nearly screamed, almost losing balance and falling off the bed. “I can’t I’m sorry, you’re way too young” San jumped to your side and grabbed both your hands pressing them into his black stained ones.

“Please y/n” he said, piercing cat-like eyes harpooning into yours and begging for your sympathy . “If I fail… I’ll be expelled from school and my parents will disown me… and…” he looked down at his feet, his grip slightly tightening around your hand, his voice quivering. “I’ll be prohibited from breeding, which is an incubus’ sole purpose” He hung his tails in defeat.

You didn’t know why or how but seeing him like that made your heart sink to the bottom of your stomach. You couldn’t possibly say “no” to such a face. You sighed again, it was your turn to feel defeated. 

“Fine…” you couldn’t help but to smile softly when you saw him wag his tail back. “What do you need to pass?” He looked to the side, recalling the instructions.

“For me to have just the passing grade I need to” he nervously licked his lips before looking back into your eyes “I need to successfully give you… one orgasm”.

You blinked your eyes twice, unsure of the information perceived by your ears. You started to shake your head slowly as the realization started to come clearer into mind. “Wait please y/n! We don’t actually have to have intercourse”

“Please don’t say it like that” you asked in a prolonged sigh, removing your hands from his to massage your temples, with knitted brows.

“Wait y/n! I mean… I could maybe… just…” he hesitated “go down on you?”. Silence fell for a second, but you started to shake your head again. “Please” he pleaded, getting on his knees at your side on the mattress, attacking with the damn irresistible eyes and pouty lips.

Silence again.

“OK…” you finally breathed out, getting up and pacing around the room. Once again, his tail cutely perked up. “If it’s a dream then I guess it’s ok…” you whispered to yourself this time your gaze drifting to the floor as you still have trouble processing what is going on.

Just a dream. You repeated to yourself.

“Oh my! Thank you! I promise I will make you feel good” your eyes shot back to him. It was almost imperceptible but the last two words sounded different. Something was different.

San took a step in your direction and you wanted to step back but the back of your legs hit the edge of the bed. You froze in your steps. He leaned into your ear and if you didn’t have your eyes to back up your ears on this one you would have sworn it wasn’t San speaking to you anymore. He took this deep, sultry, and alluring voice that only a demon could have.

“I promise you won’t regret it. Because I was trained for this.” You felt the unusually hot glide of his tongue on your ear as swarms of butterflies collectively took off inside your guts. “I was trained to please you… Only you.” Goosebumps ran across your skin as electricity sparked up in your core.

He went back to lick and suck on your ear you’re surprised how much surface his tongue can cover but you don’t pay that much attention to it, you’re too busy being gently laid back in your bed by San as he licked down your neck, leaving sloppy kisses and playful bites in his wake. His sharp teeth easily sunk into your skin and the pleasurable sting dragged a throaty moan out of your mouth. San briefly pulled away to look at you. He smirked at your flushed rosy cheeks.

“Baby, are you already feeling me?” Just as he said that he pushed his hips into yours and you had to keep yourself from loudly gasping when you felt… it. You haven’t seen it yet, but you just know it… That thing… was huge.

You let out a whimper and he unveiled his pointy teeth, the white pearls glistening under the moonlight. While San buried his face back in the crook of your neck you noticed how the buttons of your nightgown started to faintly glow red and in total stupor you understood they were undoing themselves. The straps swiftly slipped off your skin and you were left absolutely naked before San’s eyes.

He pulled away drinking in your most natural form while you laid on your back, thighs tightly pressed together.

“Baby you look this good, and you want me to behave?” he said in that voice again. He licked his lips, his tongue was different. It’s long and pointy, unnaturally red and… hot too… you recalled from the neck kisses. Your heart pounded in your chest.

He leans back again, and his disproportionately long tongue fully wrapped around your nipple. You moaned and bit your bottom lip. He lightly flicked his tongue. You gasped as it was gradually more difficult to resist.

He dipped down again, hot tongue gliding across your skin from your chest to your stomach and dangerously approaching your center. When he noticed you were keeping your legs tightly shut, he looked back up at you. Your eyes grew wide when you noticed the soft dark brown of his eyes was replaced by a glowing and ominous burgundy red.

“Baby, don’t make this harder than it has to be” San said, not parting his lips from your pubic bone still showering you with a thousand breathy kisses. Then with a flick of the wrist, your legs flew open, the magical force prying your legs open as if it were nothing, coercing you into unveiling yourself to the ravenous gaze of the demon. Before you could even realize it San was eyeing the most private part of you. 

And just like that the demon was at heaven's doors.

“Baby, it didn’t even start yet and you’re already this wet for me” his teasing made you squirm and it’s only then that you realized in what state the incubus has put you.

You were absolutely drenched. You never were this wet… Ever! Even in your wildest dream with Doctor Jeong. Without even proper touching, you soaked the sheets all the way through the mattress. You couldn’t see it, but you felt long strings of your juices linking your sopping center to the bed and coating your inner thighs.

When San approached his face very slowly, eyes focused on his target, licking his lips hungrily, when he’s right there, just a couple of centimeters away from your soaked slit he looked up at you. Sharp eyes glowing red and harboring a smirk that could only be described as downright evil.

“Oh, and y/n, one last thing. This is not a dream… It’s real… I’m real”

You didn’t have time to process the information before his tongue made contact with you, directly aiming for the clit. You gasped loudly, gripping the sheets. The sensation was unlike anything you’ve felt before. His tongue was uncommonly hot and wet, slimy even, like lubricated? It was also kind of rough, rugged, like a cat’s tongue. But strangely it was the best part about it, the little asperities were stimulating you in a novel way. You simply couldn’t hold back anymore. Frankly, you didn’t want to, you were giving in.

Your delighted moans filled the room, and your meek voice had San smirking, lips still tightly pressed to your folds.

“That’s it, kitten, moan for me.”

The pet name made you moan louder, your hand instinctively finding his head, fingers intertwining with the thick black hair between his horns and gripping it. His abnormally long tongue swirling around your clit, driving you to the verge of sanity. The pleasure rose steadily, and you felt the familiar build up form in your stomach.

He wrapped his lips around your swollen and very sensitive clit to give it a gentle suck. Another throaty moan slipped out your mouth which made you bite your lip right after. His sharp teeth grazed against you and you felt a small bite on your already aching bud. The sting was divine and made you scream out a moan. San felt you twitch under his tongue as you unconsciously buck your hips up and down, grinding your needy little cunt against his tongue.

“Kitten, are you gonna cum?” he asked with a mouth full.

You looked down at his dark red glowing eyes, his satisfied smirk, his pitch-black hair stuck to his forehead, his face smeared with your overflowing juices… Fuck why did he have to look so good?

You nodded, biting on your bottom lip so hard you could have drawn blood, feeling your walls flutter, inching so close to the edge, your peak within reach but San slowed down…

No… Please… 

You wanted to beg but you didn't.

You let out a desperate whimper that made San’s smirk grow even wider.

“Then tell me, Kitten. Tell me how good I’m making you feel. Tell me what you want.” he whispered in that deep voice again.

Fuck… How did he know you so well, the weak spot around your ear, the pet name, the dirty talk, the teasing? He knew about all the little things you fantasized about in the dead of night, all the details that drove you mad but never dared speak of out loud. All these secrets you kept for yourself until now. He knew your mind and your body. He had all the cards in hand and you were losing, giving up. But giving up never felt so good.

The agonizing slow flicks of his tongue on your throbbing pussy were killing you and you just wanted more. You needed more.

“Please, please San…” you whined. “Please, please let me cum. I-I need it so bad. Please”. you begged, your mind fogged up with lust. He chuckled in victory.

“Good girl” he praised before shoving his whole tongue in your clenching pussy. You didn't have the will (or the strength as a matter of fact) to control your voice anymore. You let your moans cascade off your tongue and crash heavily on the bedroom floor. The sounds were music to the demon's ear, the irrefutable sign you gave yourself up to him.

“Fuck… yessss…” you brought your second hand between the demon's horn to grip his hair too. Not realizing how harshly you're pulling at it, sting made San grunt against your heat.

“Beg me for it, Kitten”

“Please Sannie… aaah… Don’t stop… Please” you were pleading, you were so fucking close.

His tongue worked wonders going in and out of you at an astonishing speed, every time hitting your g spot dead on. Somehow, he managed to tongue fuck you while still give attention to your clit. Expertedly alternating between your fluttering and gushing hole and your touched deprived little bundle of nerves. 

“M’c-cumming” you whispered in a strangled breath.

“Yes, cum for me Kitten. Cum all over my mouth” San’s deep voice resonated in your ear as your eyes were closed shut. Your legs tensed up and your back arched as the knot finally ruptured, making you unravel at San’s touch. Juices flowing out into San’s open mouth. He sent you into an earth-shattering orgasm. The overwhelming sensation took over your entire body, making you shake uncontrollably as you screamed out his name. Never have you felt something like this. A simple human being would have never been capable of doing the things he had done to you.

San slowed down allowing you to ride off your high without hurry. When he parted his mouth from your quivering core you heard him swallow thickly then hum in satisfaction.

“Mmmmh… Delicious baby” he said wiping his glistening mouth and chin with the back of his hand, the glow in his eyes slowly fading to the original dark brown.

Your chest was heaving up and down and you still couldn’t believe what just happened. The things you felt you can’t really understand or even name them. All you knew was that you didn’t want to let them go.

San had already climbed off the bed when you let your heart speak. Or maybe the voice was coming from further south? 

“San…” he turned around “I-… hum…” you didn’t really say anything but San smirked. He clicked his tongue and shook his head.

“Is Kitten becoming greedy?” With that a red halo of light started to surround him and his clothes just simultaneously dropped to the floor.

You looked at him with round eyes and a hanging jaw. Who would have known he was hiding all this behind his boyish face? He looked absolutely stunning. You would have never suspected such broad shoulders underneath that oversized hoodie. He was toned and in shape. But the most impressive thing was without a doubt his masculine attributes…

His huge dick stood proud and tall. It was quite literally the size of your forearm and you just kept staring at it as it lightly twitched, precum shining and pearling at his slit.

You licked your lips as the sight made your mouth water. San picked up on your piqued interest right away.

He slipped back in bed with you and whispered in your ear again, planting kisses around your ear. He grabbed your face, squishing your cheeks in a firm grip, his black stained thumb tugging at your lips before he slipped his long tongue inside your mouth. Instantly the taste of your own cum spreaded on your tongue, lust clouding your mind. San continued to push his tongue inside, past the back of your mouth and until it was down your throat. Making your lips finally meet. Your eyes instinctively rolled to the back of your head, your mind slipping into some kind of half consciousness as you could only think of San’s plump lips on yours, only think of his tongue down your throat and the heat and the mess it was creating, both your saliva mixing and dripping on your chin. Goosebumps woke on your skin in the nape of your neck as his heavy breathing fanned your warm cheeks.

When he pulled out and you gasped for air, light headed from the burning oxygen in your lungs.

“I know you want more,” he said as he let go of your face to forcefully grab your wrist, placing your hand on his fat huge cock. The thing was so hard and hot, twitching under your fingers, you bit your lip trying to repress an embarrassingly needy moan and barely succeeding. San enfolded your fingers around his cock, making your hand appear so tiny in comparison to the huge cock inside of your clenched fist. He harshly thrusted himself in your small hand wrapped around his two big ones. You whimpered as San growled in your ear.

“Tell me what you want, kitten” San’s low grunts made you shiver, heat pulling in your stomach once more. He gave another powerful thrust in your fist.

“Please… San” you started with your lips trembling. “Fuck me” you finally said in a breath, barely above a whisper.

That was all that San needed. He left your side and kneeled right in front of you. He harshly pulled on your parted thighs to bring you closer. You let a whimper out as his member rubbed against your still very responsive clit.

He wiggled himself even closer and linked his hips with yours, his fat cock resting on your stomach.

“Look kitten, this is how full I’m going to make you” he chuckled, an evil smirk playing at his lips, slightly swaying his hips to rub on your nub. You bit your lip and lifted your head to take a look. You whimpered when you saw the angry red and leaking tip reach all the way up to your midriff.

It’s never going to fit…

He seized his thick member and started to rub the tip against your slit, gathering your wetness and coating himself with it. You bucked your hips up, impatient to be filled. But San gently took your chin in his black stained fingers and lifted your head up. Your eyes shoot back to his, the red glow was back.

“Look at me while I fill you up with this huge fucking cock” he whispered detaching every syllable of the three last words, eyes diving deep into yours. The smirk was gone, he was done playing.

Slowly and steadily, he pushed himself inside you. His girthy tip delightfully stretching your tight little cunt. You felt him progress inside you, surprisingly you didn’t feel any discomfort at all. Something of this length, of this girth, it should have hurt. But it just didn’t. Instead every centimeter felt like pure heaven as his glowing eyes locked into yours as he frowned and grunted.

Eventually he reached the deepest part of you and your hips linked again. You squeezed your eyes shut and your toes curled up… Because as crazy as it may sound just with this one slow stroke, he made you cum. You couldn’t explain it, there’s no logical explanation but you, a woman of science, you didn’t have a single thought anymore for logic. You only wanted more. More of this unholy pleasure. More of this demon, more of him.

You pressed your lips into a thin line to not moan. But San wasn’t fooled, he couldn’t possibly when your tight cunt was so desperately fluttering around him. He hunched his warm body over yours and leaned into your ear to whisper with the deep voice that you were starting to know.

“Oh Kitten,” he clicked his tongue with a patronizing tone. “You came with that?” He cooed as he slowly pulled out of your still throbbing cunt. “But I have so much more in stock just for you”

Then he stood back straight and took a bruising grip on both of your thighs to smash himself back into your dripping heat.

“Fuck” you yelled. Your eyes shot open as you cursed out loud, unable to resist the feeling. Your previous orgasm still hadn’t completely worn off and he was already forcing another one into you. Your eyes rolled back as your jaw fell open, shaking every time he thrusted his huge cock inside you.

San smirked when he felt the signature clenching and throbbing of your on coming high. But that didn’t stop him. As another orgasm washed over you, your legs shook uncontrollably as you moaned out his name.

“Aaaah… Sannnnn”

“Awww, you’re cumming again�� Kitten really has become greedy” he chuckled slowly, adapting his pace to allow you to breathe. Your high slowly wore off. Your eyes came back into focus and you caught San’s tail lazily waving behind him before they drift to his handsome (but evil) face.

“Oh Kitten, you’re back! I almost thought you were going to pass out with this one.” he chuckled again, still slowly pumping himself deep inside of you. “You’re not used to feeling this good, huh?” You couldn’t even reply anything, your brain couldn’t process just one useful coherent thought so you just laid there trying to process the feeling but San sped back up, going even faster. Right when you thought it couldn’t get better. Right when you thought he couldn’t possibly fuck you any better than this… he does exactly that.

Immediately you gripped the sheets again, arching your back. You were already back to screaming for him. He felt amazing inside you. The way each thrusted into you to deliciously spread your aching tiny little cunt, the way he rammed himself into you, rearranging your guts and shaping your hole to perfectly fit his fat cock… Frankly in this instant you couldn’t even remember your own name.

“Fuck… Aaaah…”

The sound of wet skin clashing reverberated against the walls of your room. Finally, you felt him dangerously twitch inside you. He was coming close to his release, and it showed in his dark red glowing eyes.

“I’m gonna cum inside you” he grunted lowly, tightening his grip on your thighs. This was definitely not a question. It was a statement.

You welcomed his demand as it meant salvation to you. You were exhausted, your pussy just couldn’t take another one of these intense orgasms. You felt like you were going to collapse as you laid there on your back while he furiously pounded into you, your eyes rolled back and your tongue hanging out of your mouth, flapping on your chin with every thrust.

“Yesh, pleash cum inshide me” you mumbled, not even bothering to slip your tongue back in.

“I’ll make you mine, kitten” he growled, making you shiver.

“Yesssshhhh” you huffed in a shaky breath.

Your own release was coming close, again. Your toes curled upward, and you arched your back, your tight pussy frantically throbbing and clenching around San as his cock pulsed and twitched inside you finally releasing his delicious piping hot cum.

“Fuckkkk” San breathed out through gritted teeth as you sunk your nails into his biceps.

Gallons of thick white sticky liquid gushed out inside you, adding on to the full feeling of San’s cock. You felt astronomical volumes of cum filling you to the brim until it had to flow out of you in a slimy river of gooey white spurts.

You both caught your breath for a good two minutes before you could even move. When San finally pulled out your mixed juices still linked him to you in long strings.

He was quicker to recover than you. Your chest was still heaving up and down when he magically popped his clothes back on.

He looked back at you and the change in attitude was blatant. The glow in his eyes was gone, his innocent boyish expression was back, the cat-like eyes had lost their sharpness and looked back at you with a kittenish expression, and his smile? just adorable. Even his tail was cutely wagging behind him. Suddenly there was nothing evil about him (once more, disregarding the demon horned of course).

“Thanks y/n! Imma have the best grade ever. I bet Hongjoong had to keep the illusion spell…” He smiled from ear to ear, the shiny brown irises completely disappearing to leave two cute crescents.

Completely drained out you barely managed to simply nod back at him and grinned from the corner of your mouth.

“Anyway, bye… Kitten” he said, a playful glint briefly passing his eyes while the red smoke engulfed him once more.

When the smoke cleared out you were almost - not almost - sad that he’s gone. You sighed deeply, cum still lazily dripping out of your broken-beyond-repair hole.

How  were you supposed to go back to a normal life after that?

***

Well in fact… you didn’t. It was over a year later and San never came back. Every night you were hoping that somehow, he would come visit you again. But every night you laid in your bed disappointed, actually, even worse: frustrated.

Because after that fateful night you never touched yourself to your handsome boss Doctor Jeong Yunho again. Actually, you completely lost interest in him. Sure, he was still very handsome and gentlemanly but you just… didn’t care anymore.

To be clear you didn’t touch yourself to Yunho, but you still did have intimate moments with yourself… Well, you tried at least. Because nothing, nothing came close to what you felt when San took care of you that night. Actually, you knew no human being, no simple mortal could possibly fuck you that way. It’s not something a being of flesh and blood can do… It’s something only an unholy creature could do, something only a demon could make you feel.

So every time you succumbed to the urge of relieving yourself by letting your fingers play with your folds it ended in either, a complete failure where you couldn’t even drive yourself to your peak or, a lukewarm, disappointing and frustrating orgasm.

A whole year…

A whole year spent fantasizing about a teenage demon that only used you to pass a stupid exam then vanished from your reality without failing to completely shatter your whole world.

So yeah… it sucked…

You sighed to yourself, staring at the same old ceiling of your room. It was one of those nights where the tension was just too much, but you didn’t feel like going through the hassle of actually pleasuring yourself knowing damn well it was going to be temporary and frankly dissatisfying.

You turned to your side, determined to chase off the frustration by getting some good sleep. Exhausted you drifted pretty quickly into a deep slumber.

But the sleep was anything but good… You found yourself covered in sweat, wrestling in your sheets, engrossed in a fever dream. Not much of it made sense but you felt hands were roaming your body, an usually warm embrace was enveloping your form, you felt rugged flesh lapping at your ear. You heard jerky breaths, lowly grunts, an unnaturally deep voice talking to you…

Missed me… Kitten?

“San?!” you shouted as you sat up in your bed, eyes snapping open.

You looked around in a slight panic, your night gown clamped to your sweaty skin and your chest heaving up and down.

“Fuck” you cursed yourself under your breath, disappointed when you realized your mind played tricks on you again. You were just here alone in your room, soaked in frustration… and arousal.

“God damn it” you cursed again as you slipped your nightgown over your head and kicked the covers off your heated skin. Leaving yourself naked on top of your bed. Immediately the cold air lifted goosebumps on your humid skin, hardening your nipples.

You let your fingers slip to the crux of the problem. You knew there was only one way to finally be able to chase away the memory of San, even if it was only for tonight.

The cold fingers on your drenched heat drew a sharp breath off your lips. You were so excited about this stupid fever dream, so excited about him that only a few rubs already had you with your toes curled up in pleasure, fisting the sheets tightly.

“Aaaah… San” you softly moaned his name. With eyes closed shut, you tried to recall the way he felt inside you, the way his eyes glowed red, the way his low voice sent shivers down your spine…

Awww Kittennn~…

It was like you could hear him… you gave no rest to your sensitive and throbbing nub.

“San, I’m gonna cum” you whispered to yourself. Pleasure slowly taking over your entire body. You slipped a finger inside your drenched heat to aid yourself to your peak a little quicker. Then another one. You aimed directly for your sensitive spot and you felt yourself tightly clenching around your fingers. You’re so close… so so close.

“Aren’t you going to wait for me?”

This time…There’s no doubt.

Your eyes snapped open again as you stopped what you were doing and you were met with San staring you down at the foot of the bed, licking his lips, eyes already wavering with a tint of red.

But for a second you doubted. Was it really him? You can’t help but to ask yourself. He looked so different. Sure, the spare shaped black tail still loosely dangled behind him but other than that his whole aura changed. The boyish features are completely gone. Instead, his eyes and jaw look sharper. He looks broader, more muscular. His plain black tee is tightly hugging his fit and toned body, making it easy for you to see abs peeking from underneath the constrictive fabric, abs you can’t recall from the previous visit. His arms muscles were thicker, and a lot more developed. Along with his pecs of which you could clearly see the outline of under the skin tight black tee. His matching jeans let you see through their rips his smooth silky skin and generous thighs.

But the most noticeable change is definitely his horns. The cute 10 cm (4in) tall skin-colored horns were replaced by huge 30cm (1ft) long ones. They were directly sprouting in a spiral from his forehead and stood proud on top of his head. Their base was black but as they went up it faded to a dark and deep blood red.

Overall, he looked much more mature.

He wasn’t a boy anymore… he was a man.

“San?” you started hesitantly as the demon already slipped beside you in bed. “Is that really you?” you couldn’t help but to ask.

“Yes, Kitten… It’s me” he whispered in the low voice you've missed so badly. Bringing his lips close to your ear and you felt his rough tongue lap at your sweet spot, the familiar sensation drew a shaky breath out of you. For a minute you didn't say anything, you were just there, under his spell as he played with you. In the midst of it all, you didn’t even notice you were stark naked, or maybe you just didn’t care. You didn’t want to protest quite frankly, you let him do, you let him gently nibble at your bare collarbones and plant gentle kisses on your neck. You let him because that’s what you’ve been waiting for… For a whole fucking year.

But then you shook your head, snapping out of it. You left his side and get off the bed taking the sheets to wrap around your naked body and get up, knowing that his soft kisses kept you from thinking rationally.

“San…” you turned your eyes back to him “you've… changed”. He chuckled and the red glow faded to slowly disappear as he got up.

“Yes… I know, a lot can change in 12 years…” he casually said while stepping closer to you.

Wait. What?

“What 12 years? No, it was just last year” you corrected him, and he took your hands in his slender black stained fingers.

“Maybe to you. But not to me” You suddenly recall the demonic blood moon years he had mentioned on his first visit. Maybe that’s what he meant. “I’ll be turning 30 this July.”

Your jaw dropped. How was that even possible? But then again, here you were questioning the passing of time for an incubus. So what's crazier really?

“You remember what I told you about breeding?” San’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts.

“Yes… that it is an incubus sole purpose, right?” you said absentmindedly, still having trouble wrapping your mind around the situation. But you were brought back to the present moment when San squeezed your hands tightly and dived in your gaze with his piercing dark brown orbs.

“Yes, I came back for that…” he leaned in and you instinctively leaned your head back giving him unconditional access to your neck. San’s voice went down an octave again, lips only millimeters away from your ear. “I came back for you…” he whispered before he licked around your sweet spot, making your heart loudly thump in your chest and your toes curl on the cold wooden floor of your bedroom. You bit your lip trying to restrain your voice.

“I’m going to breed you” his voice was hypnotizing, “You will bear my children and bring them into the world” You couldn’t even wrap your mind around what he was saying, “I chose you, y/n. I only want you” His voice was putting a spell on you. “I can fuck any women I want but…” his warm hand was now wrapped around your nape, and the other one gently pulled on the sheets wrapped around your nude body that you let fall to the ground without resistance.

“San what do you mean?” you asked in a jerky whisper, only focusing on his hot breath on your ear. He ignored your question.

“I need your approval to breed you, y/n” His blunt nails grazed against the naked skin of your lower back, you started to softly moan, you were wrapped around his fingers, completely bewitched by his cat-like eyes fixed into yours. 

“So, say yes, y/n… Say yes Kitten” he said before his large palms groped your ass and pulled you against him, closing in the last centimeters that were left between his clothed body and your naked one, sending radiating heat from your core to your entire body.

What were you supposed to reply? Were you supposed to say "no"? How could you do such a thing after waiting for him for a whole year, everyday growing a little more desperate, a little more frustrated… How could you possibly say no, when his hands were roaming your body like they have always known you. When he whispered with that voice in your ear. When minutes ago, you would have given anything to have another night with him…

You… just…

Couldn’t.

“Okay…” you whispered ever so quietly, barely audible even for your own ears.

You felt San’s cheek lift against yours as he smiled. When he pulled back, you can see his pointy teeth glistening under the full moon, like they did a year ago. He was wearing the same evil smirk that you knew so well, the same wicked and devious smirk that he burnt into your memory a year ago, making sure you could never forget about it.

Fuck…

Right there something snapped, something changed. When San looked back the red glow in his eyes was more intense than ever, his expression was wicked. Lust dancing in his dark orbs as he licked his lips with appetite.

You didn’t even notice the red glow around your naked form before you felt your feet being lifted from the ground. San smirked at the confusion plastered on your face. His magic made you levitate and harshly threw you on the bed, almost smashing your head on the headboard. You should have been stunned but the scene taking place right before your eyes kept you conscious and focused.

The red glow now circled San and in a fraction of second his clothes were gone. Not dropped to the floor, just gone. They completely vanished. And he stood right before you in all his glory. You couldn’t help but to let your eyes trail his body.

His intense gaze, his sharp jawline, long narrow neck, his collarbones. The large and sturdy muscular shoulders. The developed muscles of his pecs and arms moving and mesmerizing you. The dangling black tail. The toned abs, already lightly sparkling with sweat.

Then your eyes finally went below the waist line.

You do remember the enormous… thing – for lack of a better word – San fucked you with last time. How could you forget? You could never. That’s why you know for a fact that this thing right there in front of you, rock hard, lightly twitching and oozing precum at the slit, is actually bigger.

Your jaw dropped to the floor. The veiny and pulsing monstrous cock was as lengthy as your thigh and as thick as a soda can. When you looked more closely at it you realized it was beaded. Beads of different sizes were visible, forming bumps under his skin that progressed down the shaft. Your heart jumped in your chest. Because you knew that huge ass cock was made for pleasure. Tingles started to bubble in the pit of your stomach, and you unconsciously pressed your thighs together.

San couldn’t help but to smirk when he noticed fear and anticipation swim in your confused eyes.

He stepped closer to you.

“Oh Kitten” he started as he crawled in bed to you. The wicked smirk still dancing on his lips, red glowing eyes fixed on you. “We’re going to have so much fun~”

Then with the familiar flick of his wrist your legs flew open at his will. You gasped in surprise. And San’s smirk grew wider when he noticed how your folds glistened with your juices.

“Kitten look at you…” He said, gesturing his chin towards your most private part. “You’re always so wet for me” his low voice sent shivers down your spine as embarrassment rushed to your cheeks. But the spell maintained your legs nice and spread out for him.

San leaned in closer to your drenched heat, sharp teeth on display and tongue out.

You gasped loudly arching your back when you felt his rugged tongue aiming directly for your clit. Still very sensitive from almost cumming a few minutes ago.

“Mmmmh… Kitten you taste even better than last time” he purred, lips pressed to your core, the vibrations sending electricity in your body.

San took his sweet time gently lapping at and around your nub to tease you, while cascades of juices flowed out of your impatient center. You can’t endure the teasing anymore, not after all this time, not after a whole year. You unconsciously bucked your hips up, grinding your pussy on his tongue while a tiny pleading whimper escaped your lips.

San stopped in his tracks. You were taken aback when the glowing red pair of cat-like eyes looked back up at you as he shook his head fainting disappointment. But the smirk was quick to return.

“Baby” his warm breath fanned your delicate parts. “Don’t be so fucking greedy” he said before sinking his pointy white teeth in the sensitive little bud. The sting pulled a scream out of you while you gripped the sheets. Immediately after San’s tongue plunged inside your hungry little hole, reaching the deepest part right away. At an alluring speed, his long tongue came in and out of you, each time poking at your sweet spot. Your loud moans echoed through the empty night, the familiar knot, quick to tighten again after this much teasing.

“San don’t stop” you pleaded, feeling your release coming in. San’s red orbs still fixed in yours while his tail lazily dangled behind him.

The incessant stimulation of your g-spot got you clenching around his long and rugged tongue while you finally came, letting go of the knot. You screamed in absolute bliss.

That’s it… this feeling… The sensation you’ve been craving.

“Fuckkkk” You cried out.

San parted himself from your throbbing center for a moment, allowing you to ride out your high at your own pace. Your chest was heaving up and down, sweat was pearling between your breasts.

“Baby, don’t think it’s over just yet” he said, smirking again. “I have so much more in store for you…”

You didn't have time to fully recover yet but San dove down to your soaked folds again, this time his hot and wet tongue only focused on your swollen nub. You scream out in surprise and pleasure. Immediately your back arched again.

His tongue somehow felt like it vibrated, the feeling was intense and suffocating, and you knew you would soon be thrown into another strong orgasm again. Your hand instinctively flew to San’s hair, resting in between his two horns, fingers harshly pulling at his luscious raven black locks.

“Is Kitten cumming again?” he said with a mouthful.

You couldn’t even process an answer as the crushing orgasm washed over you again, excessive amounts of your arousal coating your tights and linking your center to the sheets. You moan out without restrain, not making any efforts whatsoever to keep your voice down.

When he was done San sat back up on the bed. You didn’t even notice how he stroked his huge monstrous pole in his fist.

“Kitten, I hope you’re not too tired yet…” you jumped when you felt the unnaturally hot tip glide against your folds. “Because it’s my turn now” he singsang.

He shimmied his way to your parted thighs. Like last time he rested his cock on your stomach to measure it up to you. Now there’s no doubt the thing is much much bigger than last time. A year ago, it reached to your midriff, now the red tip is comfortably placed between your breasts. In a sort of trance, you wrapped your hands around it, the both of them can barely circle the girth of his dick. It was huge… Abnormally long and terrifyingly thick… but you couldn’t wait to feel the thing inside you.

San smirked when he noticed you eyeing his member with burning desire. He pulled his hips back and aligned himself at your entrance. His tip teased you as you bit your lip, gathering your wetness for a smooth crossing.

“Look at me Kitten” your eyes shot back to San’s glowing orbs. “Look at me while I make you take my cock” You let a tiny whimper out when you feel him pushing himself inside you. The tip gently and slowly parting you. San grunted in your ear.

“Fuck Kitten, you’re so tight for me baby” he breathed out in his low voice.

With every centimeter it got better and better, you don’t feel any pain, only divine pleasure. You felt each one of the beads along his shaft, each one more pleasurable than the last. History repeats itself as with this one slow introductory stroke you found yourself coming undone for him again.

“I’m gonna cum” you whispered in a strangled breath, your eyes still locked with San’s. His smirk grew wider at your frowned brows and trembling lips. But he kept on steadily pushing his cock inside you, stretching you further and further.

“I know” he whispered before violently pushing the last few centimeters in. The unexpected and overwhelming pleasure washed over you as you sank your head back in the pillows, a long string of moans falling off your lips while your cunt twitched uncontrollably around San, a satisfied grin playing on his lips.

“Kitten” he said while pulling back slowly as you were still high from your climax. “I don’t think you’re ready for me” You peeled open one eye with difficulty to look at him and nodded to contradict him. San chuckled. “You think?” he asked, pulling his dick out of you while your walls desperately clenched around nothing.

“Y-yes” you whispered, squirming, craving for him to fill you up again. “Yes, I missed you so much” the words rolled so naturally off your tongue before you even realized they did. San lifted an eyebrow.

“Really Kitten? You missed me?” you nodded again. “Well… you only waited for a year” you gasped as his hot tip circled your aching little nub before going back to your entrance. “I waited for 12 years” he said in an unnaturally low grunt.

He slammed his hips into yours in one powerful and shattering thrust which set you right back to screaming again. His movements were fast and precise each time he sent his big cock smashing against your g-spot. The pleasurable feeling was unbearable.

“San… Aaaahh…” you moaned his name, as you got dangerously close to the edge again.

“Yes, moan for me Kitten” he said through gritted teeth. “Am I not a lot better than last time?” he panted.

You couldn’t believe it but it’s true. You didn’t think it was possible but yes. He got incredibly better at fucking you to the point that you were ready to pledge your pussy to him for eternity. For him only. You’d do anything to be fucked like this every day until your body eventually gave out from exhaustion.

“Yesss…. Aaaaah… fuck” You shouted closing your eyes under the pleasure. Your loud and unrestrained moans made San smirk.

“You’re mine” he growled continuously fucking you deep and hard. “Fucking look at me I told you” He planted his black nails at the side of your face, making you wince and also open your eyes. The red glow was brighter than ever. “Say that you’re mine” he commanded.

“I’m yours” you whined locking eyes with him as the clenching of your cunt warned San of how close you were.

“Kitten, are you gonna cum again?” he chuckled, eyes locked into yours, furiously pumping his abnormally large cock inside your now shapeless little hole.

“I’m gonna make you mine Kitten. I’m gonna pump you full of cum. Do you want that Kitten?”

“Yes please” You begged in a short breath, your release getting dangerously close.

“Good girl” He grunted getting close to your ear, his rugged tongue licking the shell of it. “Now cum. Cum around my big cock while I fill you up to the brink with hot cum.”

The low whispers were enough to rocket you over the edge. You screamed in absolute bliss, twitching around his huge cock as you felt the hot sticky liquid rushing into you and overflowing out. Just like last time the quantity was inhumane, testifying of San’s demonic nature.

When San finally slipped out of you, you felt your heat meekly clench around nothing, already missing the way San’s monstrous cock was making you feel so full.

You were left completely dazed, lying on the bed, eyes still rolled back in your head, focusing on the fading sensation of your peak.

You didn’t even notice when San stood by the bed and you also didn't notice how, contrary to last time, cumming had not calmed him down. The thing is still alive and lively. In other words, he’s far from done with you.

“Kitten, I’m gonna fuck your face now” he announced.

You didn’t have time to process the meaning of those words that you were being pulled by your arm. Your body was lying across the bed while your head was resting upside down on the edge of the mattress.

“Open wide Kitten” San’s hot and wet tip brushed against your lips. Almost out of instinct you opened your mouth.

San pressed himself inside your narrow mouth. The stretch was borderline unbearable, San’s cock was too big. Way too big for your tiny mouth and you barely managed to take the head of his dick inside your crowded wet hole. San grunted loudly, indulging in the feeling of stretching your lips to his convenience.

“Fuckkkk… y/n”

When he reached the back of your throat he started to slowly pull out, taking his cock completely out. You ceased the opportunity to take a deep breath. And that proved to be the right move, because seconds later San went back inside you but with much less tenderness. He placed both of his hands on your cheeks gripping your face tightly to aid himself with intruding your mouth.

He had no mercy for your poor sore throat, his powerful thrust silencing you except for the wet and sloppy sounds that your mouth emitted.

“How does your cum and mine taste like Kitten?”

His voice sent shivers across your skin, your eyes rolled back as your pained pried open jaw gradually went numb. You wanted to scream how good he tasted on your tongue but you couldn’t. You wanted more, more of this intoxicating taste taking over your mouth and clouding your mind.

“Fuckkkk… Kitten… You’re gonna make me cum” He whispered, his voice conveying the feeling of his incoming orgasm. “I’m gonna cum in your mouth baby. Want that Kitten?” You only produced a gargled moan and San knew how eager you truly were to taste more of him.

“Such a good girl for me”

Only instants after you felt the stream of his warm load shoot to the back of your throat, instantly filling your mouth. Squirts after squirts of cum crashed on the inside of your cheeks and on your tongue, some even slipped out of your mouth and lazily dripped down to your cheeks and forehead.. The bitter taste invades you and your entire body, making you dizzy, light headed.

When San pulled out you hurriedly swallowed a big mouthful of thick and hot cum before drawing a sharp -and much needed- breath.

San gently stroked your cum and spit covered cheeks.

“You’re such a good girl for me Kitten” he said before laying back on the bed, his back against the headboard. And your eyes went wide with stupor when you noticed that still. The monster has not calmed down. His cock is still hard, pumped full of burning blood, tip a shade of angry red and profusely leaking at the slit.

You felt exhausted and drained out by all the orgasms you failed to count. You couldn’t even lift a single muscle even if you tried.

But you didn’t have to because once again your body was enveloped by a red glowing light. With that you were lifted in the air. San’s magic spreading your legs into an impressive split, suspended in the air above him while he patiently waited for you to come down on him with his hands behind his head.

Beads of sweat formed on his chest and rolled down his toned abs. Sweat also stuck his bangs to his forehead and his horns. He was absolutely gorgeous, the kind of beauty that nobody would ever be able to turn down… and especially not you.

And unlike you, he looked everything but tired.

Slowly his magic lowered you down. You gasped when his hot tip brush against your drenched folds.

“I just need more of you, Kitten. Can you handle me?”

You wanted to respond but you were unable to think of anything coherent as, already, the steady descent had you stretched out around his girth and completely cock dumb. You only whimper meekly for a response. Slowly but surely San set you down on his cock, cunt perfectly angled with his huge dick. Each centimeter, each bead going inside you, making your body tense up with agonizing pleasure.

When you were halfway through the red light around your body went off and he dropped you to take the rest of him in one go. And it was just too much for you. The way his cock smashed into your sensitive sweet spot while San had his glowing red orbs fixed on the place your bodies met sent you into the abyss again. This time the pleasure was so intense that not only your needy cunt absolutely crushed San’s cock with a vice grip and uncontrollable spasms but also gushed out juices in powerful clear streams, drenching San’s muscular torso. San smirked as he clicked his tongue and shook his head.

“Kitten… You came again with the very first stroke” he said, fainting disappointment, taking pleasure in seeing you struggle above him, shaking uncontrollably, eyes rolled back, jaw hanging open and toes curled up.

Before you could even go back to your senses, you felt yourself getting lifted again and the red glow came back around your figure. You whimpered as you felt San slide out of you. But right before the tip popped out, he smashed you back onto him. You arched your back as a delighted long string of moans escaped your lips.

“Damn Kitten you’re so tight” San said through gritted teeth.

You couldn’t even say anything back as he’s already lifting you up with his magic. Each time he increased the pace until he had you jumping up and down his girth. The familiar knot tightened again.

“How good does my cock feel baby?” San asked his red eyes fixed on you as he made your breasts bounce on your chest with each back and forth.

“It’s the b-best…. San it’s the best thing ever. F-fuck! Wanna be fucked like this every day” you answered, struggling with your words, mushing them together. Visibly, it was what San wanted to hear as the evil twinkle in his eye intensified.

“Yeah Kitten? You want that, huh?” he grunted in the low voice you loved so much, sending swarms of butterflies flying in your stomach. He went faster again. The wet sounds of skin clashing bounced off the walls punctually interrupted by San’s and your moans.

“I’m gonna c-” You wanted to announce but San interrupted you.

“Not yet Kitten, this time you’ll cum with me and when I tell you to” He lifted you again, making you hover over his dick. Still, just above him. You squirmed only wanting to be filled again.

“Say what you want Kitten”

“Want your cock Sannie” he raised his eyebrow. “Pleasepleasepleaseplease” you begged, your pleas making him smirk again.

“Yeah baby? Is that what you want?” he said as he slipped the tip inside, the beaded shaft made you scream in bliss as San slowly lowered you on his cock, legs spread wide, offering him the best view on your cunt, your swollen clit hard and red and the shapeless entrance drooling and pulsing, aching to be filled again.

“Yessssss” you screamed while tears welled up in the corner of your eyes.

But then San’s spade shaped tail swiftly wrapped around your neck, the slick scales gliding on your skin send goosebumps in the nape of your neck. When the tail had made a full circle around your neck, San suddenly tightened the grip.

“Then fucking take it” he smashed you onto his huge cock.

You opened your mouth to scream but not a sound came out. You were completely silenced. Only the wet and lewd sounds of your pussy could be heard as San’s tip touched the deepest part of you, forming a visible bulge inside your stomach. Tears of pure joy rolled down your burning cheeks.

San then went back to this unforgiving rhythm. Every time angling you just right to smash your sensitive spot. Gradually your mind went blank as he fucked you furiously, your jaw hung open and your eyes rolled back into their orbit.

“Look at me” San whispered in his demonic low voice. Your eyes came back into focus and snapped to him. “I’m gonna cum inside you” he continued to whisper. You nodded vigorously, knowing it meant he’ll finally let you cum too. 

“With this one I’ll make you mine. I will pump you full of my seed and impregnate you. I’ll make your belly swell with my cum and have you bear my progeny” You nodded again, streams of tears wetting your heated cheeks. The restriction of blood to your brain fogged your vision with specks of white, making  you see stars as the pleasure rose again to an unbearable level.

“Now cum. Cum for me Kitten” San grunted.

You felt his cum flow into you, and that sent you over the edge into the most intense orgasm you ever felt, that’s including the ones San gave you in the past. This one was different. His big fat cock smashing into you, his glistening chest drenched with his sweat and your cum, the dirty talk, the pet name, the commanding tone, the low voice, the tail around your neck, the thick and hot cum filling you up. It was all too much.

Your spread out legs tensed up and shook uncontrollably as San led you to completion. Just as you were on the verge of losing consciousness due to the air restriction and the heavenly stimulation of your orgasm, San loosened his tail around your narrow neck. A strangled moan escaped free of your sore throat as you were finally able to vocally express the immense pleasure you felt.

“Yes, that’s it, baby” San purred. “Scream for me”. He kept you going up and down his length for a while longer.

You cried out a long moan as your head was thrown back and your tongue hung loose out of your mouth. San slowly decreased the pace until it came to a stop. He lifted you out one last time, as soon as his big member popped out of you, gallons of his cum flowed out of your tired and stretched out hole. San laid you down gently next to him. Before linking his lips with yours and shoving his long and rugged tongue inside your mouth while you didn’t notice the red glow marking you in the lower stomach region.

You laid there for you didn’t know how long, trying to gather your thoughts. You were completely drained, fucked beyond repair…

After a while San stood back up.

“In three weeks, the children will be born” you pelled open your eyes to look at him. “I’ll be back to take them… and you.”

What?!?

“Wait… me? Also babies? Plural?” so many questions shot through your mind.

“Yes” San said as he wiped himself with a piece of cloth he found. “I marked you as mine” It’s only now that you noticed the small obscure and cryptic symbol San engraved on the skin of your pubic bone with his demonic magic. The character seemed to be a language you can’t comprehend.

“What is this?” you asked, pointing to the tattoo.

“It means you are to be my wife”. Your eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets.

“WHAT?” 

“Yes, you know what a succubus is right, a female incubus? ” you noded, unable to speak one more word.

“Well, succubus aren’t born. Succubus are made. They are human women chosen by incubus to become their wife and bring their heirs to the underworld.”

You wanted to say something, but you only stuttered nonsense.

“Over the course of the next three weeks you will kiss your humanity goodbye. Horns will sprout out your forehead and you will grow a tail. Your magic energy will increase, and you will slowly be able to use different magic spells. In three weeks, I’ll bring you back to the underworld with me, where you will live with me. And serve me with your body…” San marked a silence “and heart.”

“But… you… I-” San sat next to you on the edge of the bed and cupped your cheeks to make your troubled eyes meet his.

“Isn’t that what you asked for?” He asked, there was nothing left of the deep voice, instead he spoke softly, his dark orbs fixed into your unsure gaze. He brushed his thumb over your bottom lip “Right, Kitten?”

“Yes…” you whispered, bewitched by his intense stare.

“Over the past year, your feelings for me bloomed, didn’t they?” You felt blood rushing to your cheeks as San’s gaze was unwavering, sharp cat-like eyes piercing right through you and touching your soul. 

You didn’t answer anything, but you didn’t have to. San knew exactly how to read you. His eyes started to glow again, along with the symbol marked on your skin. And you were enveloped in his light. You felt like your soul was being bound to this creature, almost morphing with him. The bond was pure and benevolent. And real. From now on you were his and he was yours.

He got back up and magically summoned more clothes from thin air. Red smoke started to appear at his feet, gradually growing around him.

“I’ll be back in three weeks. Wait for me, Kitten, okay?” He said with that adorable boyish smile you haven’t seen in a year, he winked at you before disappearing in the red smoke.

You rubbed over the tattoo and over your belly, where life had taken its domain. This time, you wouldn’t have to try to go back to your normal life.

It was impossible anyway… and frankly you didn’t want to.

IF U WANNA HELP ME PLEASE REBLOG WITHOUT USING THE COMMUNITY LABELS 🖤

taglist: @gummygowon @ateezstanforever @m3tavita @rainisawriter @roodles17 @krystal-a @sanniesbunnie @berryfiavoured @thegirlofmanyfandoms88 @sanhwalvr @shironi @bangchansbackohmygod

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a/n: so how was it? how was demon san? as a proud member of demon line i thought the concept suited him hehe. dont hesitate to tell me if you liked it. that would make me so happy <3

[crepesuzette2023]

Hi, I would love recs for mclennon fics dripping in sexual tension, like six hours in August by stonedlennon. It doesn't need to have explicit sexual content. Thank you!

Thank you so, so much for this ask—this is a category of fiction I personally enjoy *a lot* (imagine Paul's "I slept with John..." pronunciation).

Here are some favorites that came to my mind. Some have sex on the page, others do not; I remember all of these as having excellent Tension™. I hope you find something you like here! Young J/P:

Streets of Your Town (@with-eyes-closed): Sensual. The upheaval in young Paul's mind as he falls in love with music and John, without putting a name to it. As of yet unfinished, but it's so good I rec it anyway, because it's...[read to find out, take a fan]

All I Know Since Yesterday (RedheadAmongWolves): Paul and John's first kiss at Paul's, after long, sweet hours of trembling fear/excitement. Paul POV.

The Way Things Sometimes Are (@paisanas): Young John is troubled and pining for Paul. Paul is mesmerizing through his eyes.

now and then (there's a fool such as I) (@stonedlennon): The Nerk Twins take the bus to Caversham and share a bed. You can smell the summer grass and the sweaty leathers...

(Ain't no cure for the) summertime blues (orphan_account): John and Paul alone on a hot summer day.

The Photograph (thinkpink20): John finds a Photograph Mike took of Paul and notices...things.

Hamburg:

ageless children, animal sweat (eyeball2eyeball): Read this story to spend time in John's throbbing, unhinged Hamburg mind. No sex on the page, and yet. It's *everywhere*. For such a short story, it takes up a lot of room in my brain. The Paul in this story is one of my favorite Pauls.

Sinful City (thinkpink20). Days and Nights in Hamburg. Paul needs John, and stops questioning things.

In Margaret Asher's music room:

Tell You Something (@louiselux). Lennon and McCartney write "I Want to Hold Your Hand." The tension rises.

In or near Paul's Geodesic Dome:

shotgunning (@pauls1967moustache): John and Paul languidly try something new...

Chrysalis (cloudy_blue): Tension in 1967. Hypnotic and stylish, I love it.

Stop all the Clocks (@javelinbk): After Brian's death, John and Paul retreat to Scotland. Grief and awakening ensue...slowly and sweetly.

Greece:

Way Up Top (@boshemians). Snapshots of J/P desire and spiraling doubts, contained in the Beatles' trip to Greece to buy an island.

Nineteen Sixty-Eight:

Outro (bakerstreetafternoon). From the Summary: 'Had it been this tension that had kept them together? Had it always?'

Bad Luck to Talk (7intheevening): Paul chats with JohnandYoko at a party and follows them home for a cup of tea. What hurts more exquisitly than pining? Unacknowledged pining.

John I'm Only Dancing (@skylikeaflame): Amidst the insanity of the Mad Day Out, desire erupts relentlessly.

The 70's as they should have been:

Down on the Farm (RosalindBeatrice): Incredibly hot and realistic (and funny in just right amounts!). John visits Paul in Nashville; Paul shows off Wings and the family, John stays the night. Dot dot dot.

I can only speak my mind (@paisanas): John's diaries are leaked to the press and printed; Paul reads them. What follows is the sexual awakening of James Paul McCartney as he reads of John's feelings for him. First rate pining, past and present.

I still miss someone/ I know that I miss you, but I don't know where I stand/ close the door lightly when you go (RosalindBeatrice): John and Paul meet in 1976. There is a spark. Few and far between meetings follow.

The Other Eighties (John lives and experiences sexual tension with Paul):

and when broken bodies are washed ashore (who am i to ask for more) (wardo wedidit): John divorces Yoko and visits Paul in Scotland. Soul searching and relationship mending.

The Birthday Party (@merseydreams): John and Paul meet at Ringo's Birthday Party. There is only one bed.

Tension through the Years:

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes (@savageandwise). John is turned on by Paul smoking. 1958—1969.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

🤠 🫶 :

Oh my god….

And Kortac’s enemies don’t understand where The Terror™ went, what could possibly have taken down a monster like that…König’s been even more menacing and violent and awful for several months now, taking every mission possible like he’s determined to destroy and kill everything he can, and there’s rumors he’s started literally ripping his opponents in half on the battlefield, and now he’s just...gone? So oh god, is there something worse out there??? Who is this who got to THAT behemoth of all people?? The rumors! The suspense! The horror!

Quick camera pan to reader, just singing to herself as she bakes some goodies to take to the sweet giant Austrian soldier (lmao she’s too forgiving, maybe she chalked up the “cunt licking” incident to a fluke, she’ll just have to be even MORE careful about where she lets him touch, he seems to get too excited). She just wants to do something nice for him, the poor man has been holed up in his company’s sick bay with something (turns out having your brain, heart, and cock explode are not good for your health, but “Blue balled into oblivion” is not something you can actually get diagnosed with, so it’s like…blood pressure issues or something).

König really should be more mindful of his health, tsk tsk.  

Oh god this just gets better and better, she's worse than all his enemies combined, and she's baking for our poor broken soldier?! This is too cute 😭💞 (oh and 'tease mother'?? I want this to be my new middle name lol!)

Sweet innocent reader also heard König got into a weightlifting accident. On top of all the exploded body parts, dude sprained his back really bad trying to do a deadlift PR with all the 55 lbs plates he could stack on the bar.

Unfortunately the metal gave up before König, it broke in half in the middle of his lift, and rumours say the whole stunt was actually a cry for help, a suicide attempt, even… But no one will ever know because this man is not what you could exactly call a genius 🫡 So maybe it truly was an accident?

And of course sweet reader bakes him some yummy delicacies to cheer him up!

But oh uh. König almost cowers in his bed when he sees her. He goes completely still as sweet reader approaches him in her cutest outfit ever, smiling like an angel and with a box full of muffins in her hands.

She floats next to his bed like the most innocent butterfly ever, opens the lid so that the cozy scent of baked goodies fills the entire room. Then she picks the biggest, most plump chocolate chip muffin from that box and folds his mask over his nose to give him a taste.

Her movements are those of a ballet dancer as she brings the glorious treat to his lips… but it's her breasts his gaze falls to as she leans forward and gives him an abundant view of the two globes of pure sin, pressed together under the neckline far too wide for her usual wear.

Does this woman even know what she is doing to him...?

Is she fucking deliberately teasing him?

His mouth opens just for the sake of that mouthwatering view, and she takes it as a cue of him wanting her to stuff his mouth full of muffin.

"There we go," she says approvingly as he takes a bite while staring at her breasts, hovering there not even an arms length away. "I made them extra sweet for you…"

The ample view of her soft tits right there in front of him while his mouth is full of melting chocolate is truly a new plane of hell. Were she to turn around to look, she would see the tallest, most vicious tent forming there beside her as his cock juts up under the sheet in all it's glory.

The muffin is still warm, and she licks the extra grease from her fingers when she's done feeding him. He imagines she's licking his cum off of those fingers instead, and almost groans from the dull pain the mere vision sends to his crotch.

"Don't worry. I know you'll be up in no time, King," she chimes and gives him an exceptionally flirty smile. Whatever new torture methods are being used on him now, he hopes to all the gods that the sweet girl won't look behind her. He will just be shamed and scolded for being hard again.

It's absurd and kind of sad how much he has changed since he met her... He feels equal to the mighty Prometheus, bound to an invisible rock and being tortured night after night after night. It almost brings tears to his eyes.

"Oh. My sweet hero… Are you in pain?" She caresses his face through the mask with genuine pity and worry. A teary hiccup is trying to push up his throat, but he forces it down.

Plump breasts and overly sweet muffins and an innocent woman calling him 'King' and 'hero'? Fussing about his health, thinking it's his back that's giving him pain… A tiny little tear almost, almost escapes the corner of his eye as he gives her a tiny, miserable nod.

"Poor thing. You know, I've been thinking…" she bites her lip, takes a deep breath too, sending those breasts swell inside her shirt and giving his cock another demanding pull.

"I really like you," she continues. "And I've finally decided. I want you to be my first."

Was zur Hölle…

His eyes go wide, but otherwise, he's still. The girl dares to give him a peaceful smile while his mind goes slowly blank from the voiceless, internal scream.

What the fuck has he done to deserve this?

She's finally ready, and he has broken his back so profoundly that there will be no moving for weeks. No exercise, no sudden movements, certainly no pounding her sweet, wet virgin pussy to his heart's content.

"We just need to wait until you get better. Doctor's orders!" she chirps as she softly boops his nose.

[krirebr]

Relax

Pairing: Jake Jensen x f!Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: ~500 words

A/N: I watched The Losers this afternoon for the first time in years to try to combat the Migraine Sads™ and I immediately wanted to grab Jensen's hand and tell him, "Oh no, baby, just stop." So here that is. 😂

It was the middle of a Tuesday afternoon and the bar was predictably dead. A couple was finishing up an appetizer sampler in the corner booth and a man and a woman sat a few seats apart at the bar. That was it. You were working alone, busying yourself rolling silverware.

As you worked through your stack, you saw the man at the bar leave his seat and move down towards the woman. He was cute with spiky blonde hair and a goatee that was kind of dorky but worked on him. Most importantly, he was fucking built. That fact forgave a lot of follicular sins. The woman was pretty. Brunette with a soft round face. But she'd been nursing an Old Fashioned for the last hour and was giving real fuck-off vibes as she compulsively checked her phone. This wasn't going to go well, but you were bored and kind of wanted to watch the train wreck, so you moved down to their end of the bar as subtly as you could.

"So, uh, you come here often?" he asked her, then grimaced. You resumed your rolling, trying to act like you weren't paying attention. "Yeah, no," he continued when she didn't respond. "I've been here a few times." He nodded to her drink. "I also like drinking. It's fun." He scowled but didn't seem able to stop himself. "And good." He shifted his eyes to the corner of the ceiling, looking like he wanted to die. This poor baby. She shot him a glare and moved to one of the high tops on the far side of the room to finish her drink. He just nodded in response.

You filled a shot glass with top-shelf whiskey and placed it in front of him. "On the house," you said.

He took and drank it without looking up then put his face in his hands. "I'm so fucking embarrassing," he mumbled. "Why is it so hard to talk to chicks?"

"Well, my first piece of advice would be to not use the word 'chicks' so much."

He chuckled, still looking down at the bar. "Any other advice?" he asked.

"Yeah," you said. "You gotta relax, dude."

He huffed. "Yeah, easy for you to sa-" he looked up at your face and stopped mid-sentence. His mouth just hung open for a moment then he took a breath to say something you were sure would be horribly awkward.

"Relax," you said again and poured him another shot. "Can I let you in on a little secret?"

"Uh, sure," he said, taking the shot seemingly unconsciously.

"You're really hot," you said with a grin. "You don't need to try so hard."

You could see his brain short-circuit. "Uh, what?"

"You heard me," you smirked.

"Why does it feel like you're flirting with me?" he asked, adorably confused.

"Because that's exactly what I'm doing," you said. "I guess I like the awkward ones."

He blushed and ducked his head bashfully. "I'm Jake," he said, extending his hand to you. You took it and gave him your name.

You checked your watch. "Well, Jake, I'm done here in about two hours," you said with a significant look.

He gave you another cute, little confused look and then, "Oh! You mean-?" You just smiled at him and he matched it with a grin of his own that lit up his whole face. "Ok, two hours then."

Masterlist

Tag lists are open

@stargazingfangirl18 @drabblewithfrannybarnes @thezombieprostitute @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory

[yeyinde]

ATROPHY | Joel Miller x F!Reader

》 SUMMARY: It's her, him, and the beats in between. A slow simmer of sex to something more. Something he isn't quite ready for, yet knows he can't let go of.  》 WARNINGS: 18+ SMUT (mild); allusions to death, assault; female gendered reader, female gendered anatomy; minor game spoilers; Joel isn't bad at feelings – he just doesn't want them. Joel is tired™ 》 WORD COUNT: 10,9k

His grief, sorrow, the ones that he tries to shove into a box marked apathy, are worn in the crevasses that line his weathered face. Deep canyons make him look ages older than he is. He wonders if she can see them. If she can peel the divots back and uncover the festering sickness, the rot, that sits in the folds. 

It's his own fault, he thinks, for stuffing his grief in the same place he keeps his worry.

》 NOTES: I did something different with my writing. It's still a Reader insert, but. I tried third person instead of the usual second. also, how this ballooned up to nearly 10k is lost to me since it was just supposed to be smut?? I had this clear image of older Joel laying in bed, his guitar leaning against the wall, catching the light of the sun as you slowly rode him, and now? I don't even know. ⤑The gif is mine. Please don't take or repost without permission

MASTERLIST | FAQ | AO3

Complacency is a death sentence in a world like this. 

Lazy Sundays spent between the warm, damp sheets. Boredom. Afternoons strumming his guitar on the front porch. Sleeping in. Drinking at a saloon in town. Music. Laughter. 

It doesn't exist. 

Shouldn't. 

And yet—

His guitar sits, abandoned, in the corner of the bedroom. The wood still carries the heat from his thumb this morning when he played a song alone on the porch. Eyes bleary, full of sleep, of rest, as he took in the varicoloured dawn cresting through the indigo sky.

Those same weathered, beaten hands that strummed the chords to Hurt are now occupied again. One perched on her hip, skin sateen soft and plush, full and warm and clean from the shower last night as she bears down on top of him in a quiet cadence, a muted, languid dance. The other cups the swell of her breast in his palm, nipple still damp from his hungry mouth, and flushed red from his teeth. 

This should just be a fantasy. 

A dirty thing in the recess of his mind when he has a moment to himself breathe. A thought, a whim. Something to needle away at the last vestiges of his consciousness when he sees her in the wild—vibrant, young, and free—and then sullied in the back of his head when he leans against a tree, and thinks of the dirt on her skin, the blood on her delicate hands, and how they'd taste under his tongue.

But this isn't a dream.

When he sleeps, he dreams in black and white. The only colour that bleeds through is red. Blood red. Pulpy and vicious. Ugly. Garish. It splatters across the pavement where he laid Sarah down, where he lost Tess, and everyone else he never promised to save and still couldn't. 

He knows this isn't a dream when he blinks his eyes open, and she's there. Sitting atop him in a kaleidoscope of colour, drenched in ochre from the still rising sun. The only red is her blistered lips, the rough burn between her thighs from the scrape of his beard, and that sinful little tongue that slips between her teeth when he slides in deep. 

And then—his eyes drop to her side—that ugly wound that cuts her flesh, ripped over the seam of her ribs. 

He's awake. Lucid. 

She's much too heavy to be something carved from fantasy. 

He doesn't say this, of course—Joel isn't stupid, and for someone so considerably smaller than he is, she packs a hefty punch in those slender fingers that curl into a fist barely the size of an apple. The sharp jab of a rusted, blunt knife. Knows where to hit him, too. 

He tucks it away, and lets his hands explore, feeling the tangibility of her weight, her presence, under the tips of his bloodied fingers. 

(Broken on the same teeth that caused her to hurt.)

The knob of her hip bone juts out through her flesh, and he grazes it with his thumb, feeling the soft curve. 

Real, he thinks. Flesh and bone. 

He can feel the flutter of her racing pulse under his hand when he kneads her breast in his hand, and lets her nipple graze teasingly over the rough skin of his weathered palm.

The tight clench of her around him—pussy a perfect knot around the base of his cock, all pretty and tied tight like a bow—is another stroke of realism his dreams, nightmares, fantasies, could never imbue. 

It's a present he's sullied more times than he can count, each touch another tally to the neverending number of sins that pile higher than the hollow skyscrapers in Boston. 

Joel feels each breath that leaves her heaving chest. Each gasping hiccup of his name when she raises her full hips up, and then slide back down the length of him in a slow, languorous roll until he nudges against the seal of her womb, and steals the air in her lungs. 

It's real. 

A paradox, then. 

One of those things that shouldn't happen, but is. Like her, and him, and everything else in between.

He knows what the others in town say when they see her—pretty and soft with a ginger touch and a sweet curl of a voice when she whispers his name. It doesn't make sense for her to be all wrapped up in him, following along behind like a shadow to a man who's cut from ashlar, and reeking of rot. Ruin. 

He's calamity in ageing grey, and she's the ripe, forbidden fruit he's not allowed to bite. Poisoned apple. Cherry sweet. 

(He wonders if they'd recoil once they saw that her insides were gnarled; acrid and sour; bitter melon. Lemon drops.

That she is far more like him than they could ever dream.)

They glare at him from the corner of their eyes when she swells like a lighthouse in the midnight gloam at the sight of him wandering back from patrol, eyes all bright and beaming, and beautiful—Christ. 

She's a picture, he thinks. 

One of those pinup girls he'd find in dirty magazines as a kid. When he and Tommy would sneak a peek behind the barn, away from prying eyes. A portrait of lust. Desire in high gloss. 

A classical beauty—the type that would make men drown themselves at sea. A starlet in the golden age back when it mattered. 

Writers' muse, maybe: she would have been the girl everyone talked about—the one that eluded the tortured artist, made him pine. 

Hemingway would call her brutal. 

Cat in the Rain. 

(She liked his old, heavy face and big hands.)

He doesn't know much about poetry but he knows she's the type who could make a man want to stain his fingers in ink just to capture the curve of her lips when she smiled. 

A vixen. Hellion. Lilith. 

Her voice is a song when she says his name. A hymn. 

Dangerous. 

He doesn't know when this started. 

Maybe, when they brought her in with the rest of the group she was travelling with. Beaten down, hungry. Clinging to life with frostbitten fingers. 

Her eyes were flat; a stagnant pond. Lips a grim, blue line. Placid. Gone. She'd been out there for too long to ever find comfort behind walls, and he knows the feeling of trying to crawl out of your own skin when people stand too close. 

She scoffed at the idea of this place, of sanctuary. Resentful and derisive. He could see the distrust in her clenched jaw, balled fists. This world was a whim—evanescent—and what they gathered from the rest of the group, survival hadn't been easy outside of safe zones.

Wall after wall fell, she said, tone flat. Blank. Haunted by ghosts still lingering in the canyons of her eyes. Stopped believing in stuff like this after a while. 

Her eyes were stained—jaundiced and red, filled with burst blood vessels—and raw from how hard the edges of her knuckles had dug into the flesh of her eyelids. They spoke of sleepless nights. Ones interrupted by her own sense of survival, hyperarousal. 

He knows the feeling of jerking awake whenever his brain starts to lull, to slip into that dangerous facsimile of security. 

Pipe dreams. She wears her fatigue like its armour, wielding the brunt of her exhaustion like a shield. 

(Sleep often feels like a bad habit for people like her, like him.)

But like him, it waned slowly. 

The chips in her veneer cracked, split, and he saw the incipient filament start to seep in. Complacency. Comfort. 

A few months in, she stopped being so defensive when they invited her out for drinks, and when they talked about dinner parties, and birthday celebrations. Derision was still a heavy weight in her distant gaze, clutched in bleached knuckles like a claymore, when she looked at them, a touch incredulous. 

Joel understands the feeling. 

The itch in your guts, the discomfort in your chest. It festers, doesn't it? 

Children play close to the fences, making up games of tag, and hide and seek, as if those things with broken, pustulous faces weren't skulking within arm's reach just a breath away. 

This whole place is a vacuum. The interior is covered in thick molasses; stuck in stasis. They pretend that birthdays and holidays matter. Dance around the saloon at night with drinks in hand. Pale ale. Old booze. 

It's rigid in its structure: patrols that span the entirety of a day—from dusk to dusk in three shift increments—and daily checks of the fences, the gates. Trading with other communities. Rules. Regulations. 

It gives the idea of safety. Of security. 

(But the bruises on his hands and the gash in her side are proof that it's sometimes not enough.)

Slowly, though, as the days wore on and the fences stood proud and tall and secure, she softened. Tucked it away with a smile, and started saying, I'll think about it instead of clipped jerks of her chin, or nothing at all. 

Joel doesn't know if she ever really did think about it like she said she would. 

Broken promises carry a distinct sound. One he knows all too well. 

She never showed up despite the invitations. Never came to celebrate. 

She stood by the fence, and looked out, eyes wide, mouth flat. The coil in her shoulders, the tremble in her hands, reminded him of a trapped animal. Cornered, and tense. 

She'll bite someone eventually. 

(He just never expected it to be him.)

The tension didn't flee the crease of her eyes, but she tried to integrate herself into the fold, the community. Slowly. Slowly. 

He took stock of her in the same measure he does everyone new who wanders in. Assessing. Watching. Cautious. 

He could tell right away that she was a wildcard. A lit match slowly burning down the wick in a sea of gasoline.

Pretty, he finds, despite himself. Drawn in by her allure; a coruscating light in the middle of endless, unfathomable grey. 

He catches sight of the weathered face that blinks back at him from the frosted windows, hazy and thick with condensation that make the grey in his hair, his beard, look startlingly whiter than it was ten seconds ago. It's a jarring reminder of who he is. What he's done. 

It's not insecurity that keeps him from seeking her out, but self-preservation. Some people, he finds, just have this magnetism about them. A beacon. A light. A gravitational pull that drags you closer and closer. 

And hers is purely primal. Animalistic. She smells of sex and sin and makes him think of object permanence when everything around him had been clouded in the sharp shade of ephemeral grey. 

She's a fractured mirror. Medusa in the making. 

Joel's always avoided broken glass. 

(Ladders. Black cats. Cracks in the pavement. Pretty girls who swallow everything like a black hole—)

Too sweet, he finds. Forbidden fruit. Tart, ripe, and sugar dipped. 

(He never had much of a sweet tooth, anyway.)

Through his observations—necessary, he tells Tommy when he catches the way Joel's gaze follows her around when she moves; limbs ballerina lithe, swan songs after dark: just because we let them in, doesn't mean we can trust them—he finds out everything he needs to know. 

A rusted sign on the side of the road says, stay away. Danger in dulcet. Soft and sweet. A perfunctory bow in battle before the deadly blows come. 

He oscillates between finding her both too soft and too hard, and it's the unknown that makes him wary. 

She's a caged animal. Everyone is just kidding themselves if they think she's domesticated. 

Somewhere in the throng of people milling about, drinking and dancing like the world wasn't in shambles, she finds his gaze, matches his stare. 

Most people looked away. 

But she's not most people, is she? 

No, she's dangerous. Pretty in a way that's entirely too ethereal for the broken remnants of what remains. Left behind. Mouldering until death claims its victims. Until the spores released from the earth itself burrow in the rucked lines of your head, sprouting up like flowering buds. 

She makes men want. 

And while the pickings might have been slim, Joel knows there are several (and maybe a little more) above him in terms of desirability. He's older. Gruff. Rough around the edges without any whim of changing, or scouring himself down so that his jagged pieces don't pop something as tender and sweet as her. 

He doesn't put himself in the same bracket. Despite Maria's insistence, Tommy's needling, he isn't a bachelor. 

Hasn't made himself available.

And he isn't. 

Not since Tess. Not since—

None of that matters. He's too old to think about romance, about skin and sex, and warmth. And more.

The thought of it all leaves something sour twisting in the gnarled rot of what remains inside his chest. 

Despite that, or maybe in spite of it, she comes to him. 

(Somehow. Somehow.)

She asks him to dance, and the breathy tone of her voice tastes like a lit cigarette; it plumes nicotine in the air. Second-hand smoke. A contact high. 

He finds it disarming when she laughs after he says no. Firm. Hard. Dismissive. 

Not in your lifetime, sweetheart. 

The unspoken stay away rang clearer than the echo of her laughter. 

And that was that. 

But she came back. 

("If not a dance, then how about a drink?"

"Wastin' your time, sweetheart."

She grins, then, soft and coy. "Not much else to do with it these days besides chatting up a handsome stranger."

He pretends she didn't make him choke on his drink, and eyes her warily instead. Dangerous, he thinks. The type that just doesn't quit. One who is just small and malleable enough to slip inside the tiniest splinter.

Just like a raspberry, she'd rot fast. Festering. Clouded white and infectious. Worse, in many ways, than the parasites outside of the walls. 

"Just don't get your hopes up." He settles on after a moment, a lull, that makes her blood-red lips curl up like the curve of those stupid hearts dangling overhead. 

And hates that he doesn't really know if he's still just talking to her or the wandering eyes in his own skull when he says it.)

He doesn't know why she takes a liking to him of all people. Of all men. He might be out of touch with the reality they live in now, always on the fringes of waiting for things to buckle at the knee, and collapse into ash, but he isn't stupid. Oblivious. 

Joel sees the way she stares at him. Open, wanting. Curious. 

She shouldn't be. There's nothing in him—nothing left. His insides are polluted, gnarled. Ugly. A gurgling cesspit that doesn't know how to fix, only dissolve. Consume. He's acidic. Caustic. 

Bad for anyone's health. 

He can't keep anyone safe, and all he knows how to do anymore is push people away, and lie (and, lately, make Ellie so incensed with anger, she cuts him to the core and spills his choleric blood out onto the pavement where it hisses and sounds just like Tess). 

He's a patchwork mess of a man sewn together with a churlish hand. The broken pieces are borrowed and maligned, but they sometimes feel like they fit when he shifts, and spits enough contempt to keep everyone else from getting too close, and—

It's enough. 

(He likes it that way.)

But she—

His hands grip her tight sometimes—too tight—and the stains he leaves on her skin set his teeth on edge. It's too much like ownership. Possession. 

(And he finds the colour that blooms on her flesh to be too fucking pretty to ever sit comfortably in the gnarled pit of his guts.)

"Don't worry, Joel," she whispers when she catches him staring at the marks he left behind. Dark and ugly. Contrition tastes of old nickels. "You won't break me that easily." 

It's a bad decision. 

But he was never known for his good choices, and when she fluttered her eyes at him, hand pressed to his chest like she were allowed to touch him, he crumbled. 

She didn't give him much of a choice to fight back when all she asked for nothing but the warmth of his skin, and the taste of him on her tongue. 

Pleasures of the flesh. It's easy. Simple. He fucks her behind the saloon, rough and dirty, and swallows the sounds she makes against the brick like they're just for him. He takes her home, and knows that when he's nestled between her thighs, it's as close to heaven as a man like him will ever get. 

And then—it's over. She leaves. He pretends to sleep. 

Rinse. Repeat.

It carries on this way for nearly two years. Distant, cold. He can't remember the last time he had anyone warm his bed, but it takes the edge off, the stress and pain of Ellie's distance, her mistrust, and hatred, and she asks for nothing. 

She lets him grab her when he wants. Lets him bend her body into whichever shape suits him best, and says nothing about the fingerprints that he leaves behind, the astringent tang of rot when she slides out of his bed, his hands, and out the door. 

He lays back, the same hand he used to grip the back of her neck when he fucked her into the mattress now resting under his head, and he pretends doesn't feel colder now than he did before. 

There is no promise of forever. There's no promise of exclusivity, or monogamy, but he knows that she hasn't fucked anyone else since she got here, that those pretty thighs only ever parted for him, and he's too worn down to entice anyone else who wasn't looking for a sleazy fuck against a tree into his bed, anyway. 

Complacency begets comfort, security, wants.

They settle down in their borrowed homes, in their borrowed beds, and think about making the most of their borrowed time.

In that, they yearn. Family. Togetherness. Everything they had before they tried to drag into the now. Forcing a square through a round hole. A mismatched puzzle piece into the slot it wasn't made for.

Sometimes, they get lucky and it slips through. It distorts itself into something different, and new, just to fit through the preconstructed crack.

Joel doesn't think about then. He thinks about now. A broken world no closer to resolution, absolution, than it was thirteen, fourteen years ago. There is no roseate veil over his eyes; everyone else can see it. 

He isn't the type of man someone brings home. The one you push and push until he fits through the front door, and back into normalcy. Stagnancy. 

And she's not the type of woman who'd ever try. 

He likes that about her.

Poisoned candy apple. Pretty on the outside and rotted within. 

There is no future outside of the way he fits inside of her, and this is as permanent as the blemishes he leaves on her pretty skin. 

Then he dreams, and it's of her.

Lifeless, blue. The way her head splits open is beautiful in that macabre sort of way horrible things sometimes are. Flowers burst behind her eyes, petals budding out of the hollowed space that once made his chest stutter when the sun caught the crevasse of black that split from her pupil and bled into her iris. A small stream of ink. 

The canyons of gradient colours are now filled with blooms of enoki. Red amanita curls out from her ears. 

Where he once laid his palm over her chest is now a gaping hole flowering with a pulsing mass of candlesnuff and staghorn. 

Death cap where her heart once beat. 

Beautiful, he thinks, even as he howls her name.

He wakes up drenched in a cold sweat, and the curve of her name heavy on his tongue. His knuckles pop when he fists the damp sheets between his trembling fingers, but the ache feels good. The sting reminds him he's alive. Whole. 

He's awake, but the nightmare doesn't end. The sight of her body lingers in the back of his head when he strums his guitar and plays a song for the demons within. He thinks of her when he forks over the expired box of condoms he found on a run, and listens to Jesse ramble about how Ellie is doing in exchange for the loot. 

It's her he sees. 

She blinks at him, eyes that same shade that sometimes makes his breath hiss between his teeth, and then her crown caves in. Forehead splits down the middle. One half stands where it was as the other falls over on her shoulder. 

Fractals spill from the plumule that was once her brain stem until the two halves are bleached white like dead corals on a ruined reef. 

The flowering toadstool quivers. What was once her—wit, charm; that uncanny ability to make him feel like the ground beneath his feet was crumbling—is a mass of spores. Polluted. Rotted. 

Where she once stood is a puppet. Dead. Gone. 

Her head tips. Ink spills from the putrefying blood vessels, congealing in the air. It spools into a circle. A black hole. 

He lifts the gun, and feels nothing at all. 

Everything he could have felt, feels, is syphoned into the needlepoint of no return, the place where she once looked at him, and said, I don't want anything from you, Joel. I just want you.

He wakes before he can see the aftermath of pulling the trigger. 

A fluke, maybe. But it happens each night after that. 

He knows, then, that there's no turning back. 

Permanence doesn't belong in this borrowed home, but she somehow drags it through the foyer and into his bed, anyway. 

She stayed over last night. 

Joel doesn't think he tried to let go when he collapsed into the bed beside her, arms woven around her sweat-slicked back, locked tight like a pair of shackles that mean about as much as a prison or the law these days.

It was cold. Late. He didn't want her to walk back in the snow all alone. 

That's all. 

But Joel isn't a gentleman, and despite how much he wishes he wasn't, he's egregiously self-aware. 

He knows he's in trouble when it just makes sense to keep her close. When it's easier to have her within arm's reach than it is to meet at the front door, and let her in. 

(When he sleeps better if he can feel her burning skin on his.)

"You're thinking too much," she gasps, eyes lidded and heavy. Drinking him in. 

Joel doesn't know what a pretty thing like her sees in a man like him. 

He can't offer her anything except the cold comfort of a warm body, but even that is null. He knows there are younger men prowling outside her door, just itching for an opportunity to make her look their way. 

(She never does.)

"Yeah," he rasps, the word sticking to his teeth. "Never been much of a thinker."

"Really? Ain't that a surprise."

His hand slips from her hip, palm swatting at the soft flesh of her ass. The sting makes her tighten around him like a vice. 

"Watch your mouth."

The way she gasps his name, breathy and aching, makes him stifle a groan between clenched teeth, her voice rolling over him like warm sea breeze. 

She's a lot, he thinks, and yet—she asks for nothing. 

(Nothing but him. One of the things he can't give her. Won't.)

Still. 

Her nails press into his damp chest, catching on the smoked dusted patch of coarse charcoal hair. Bracing herself against the swell of his ribs, and slowly rocked back into him, taking him deeper and deeper into her soaked, tight cunt. 

The pulse in his neck throbs out of his skin, a tick she likes to press the flat of her tongue against and drink up the briny droplets of his sweat. He can see the want in her eyes when he catches her staring at the column of his throat, the way she bites her lip like it's a substitute for how badly she wants to sink those same teeth into his flesh. Mark him as her own. 

Possession. Ownership. 

Sometimes, he catches the glossy, rotund image of himself in the inky puddles of her pupils, blown wide with feverish desire, and he can see the same expression, the mien, captured in her startling hue. 

Mutual want. 

It's easier to give in sometimes. To let go. 

He can't, though, and selfishly, he knows she'll never ask. She will bite your lip, the inside of her cheeks, and your tongue until it's raw and bloody before she lets the words slip through the gap of her teeth. 

(He feels the rough, chewed ridges on velveteen flesh when he rolls his tongue between her ivory teeth, swiping over the insides of her cheeks; broken skin split and metallic—a testament to her own selfless desires.

He tastes it on his tongue long after she's gone. Wet pennies. Dandelion sour.)

It knots inside of him. She'd ruin herself before she asked him for more. 

Maybe somewhere in his avoidance, his distance, she knows he's ruining himself by just giving her this much. Nothing, and yet—

Everything to him. 

An impasse, then. Uncrossable when he's already two feet out the door. 

"Joel—"

"I know, sweetheart," he murmurs, low. Rucked gravel. Falling rocks. It jars him how easily he responds to her. She says his name, and he'll drop anything in his hands to get to her quickly enough. "I know." 

The wound on her side pulls taut when she moves. It draws his eye like a beacon. Makes him grind his teeth together until it sparks pain down his jaw, the enamel sawed to the raw nerve. 

His hand slides over her molten flesh, trailing over the soft curve of her waist, until his thumb brushes the seam that keeps her insides from spilling out. The swollen, bruised skin is warmer than the rest of her body. Glossy where it tugs against the black threads keeping her whole. 

Joel didn't go with her on this particular trade. She went with some new kid they'd picked up, all varsity grins and clean hands. He seemed so damned eager to get her attention in the pub. Her age, too. 

Made a pretty couple, Ron said. Fucking loud mouth Ron. 

He was supposed to go, but when the kid caught him in the corner, nursing a beer that sat in his guts like a stomach ache, and said, hey, man, can I take your spot? he didn't know how he was supposed to say no and still cling to the degrees of separation he wedged between himself and the world. 

So, he raised his mug to his mouth, and forced himself to drink, to nod. 

Knock yourself out. 

The flash of sadness that flickered over her face meant nothing at all—nothing—but he felt something churn inside of his rotted guts. Atrophy, he thinks. He isn't meant for this. Doesn't want it. Need it. 

She's a bigger liability the closer she gets. A slow-moving black hole consuming all of the counterscarps he dug until nothing is left but crossable rubble. 

It's better, then, to cut it at the root before it infects the rest. 

So, he does. 

Maybe, he expected something different. For her to call this thing what it was, and then demand more of him, yell and scream and beg for the things he wouldn't give her—if only so he could break her heart into pieces, and force her to let go. To stop. 

Force himself to do the same. 

But she doesn't 

It's a quiet acquiesce; a little more than a nod, and a grim line of her pretty mouth. Okay, it says. If that's what you want. 

And that's what she always says, isn't it? If that's what you want, Joel. Whatever you say, Joel. Sure, Joel. Okay, Joel. 

A spitfire in ochre. A bright lighthouse in the middle of the grey sea. 

(The only person she dims for is him.)

Joel doesn't see her off. Doesn't say be careful or come back safe because words like those don't fit between his teeth. They aren't meant for the nothing between them. The chasm of everything she can't pry from his gnarled fingers. 

She leaves with him. 

He drinks alone. 

Despite whatever nonsense Tommy says, spouted over rationed potatoes and deer meat stew, he isn't sulking. 

"Let your girl go out alone? Unlike you, brother."

The way the words sat in his chest felt like an anvil. 

"Ain't my girl," he muttered. He wanted to be angry but all he felt was numbness. "Ain't my anything."

It's Maria who gets under his skin when she scoffs.

"Joel Miller, you're the biggest dumbass I ever met, save for your damned brother. Gonna push a good thing away and die alone." 

"No one asked you." 

Maria tries to fill in the blanks of something that doesn't exist. 

It peels back the gossamer from his eyes, and he sees, then, the way they skirt around him and her like it's something. As if his name is permanently attached to hers. 

He pretends he doesn't feel the burn in Maria's glare when he doesn't see her off at the gate.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't. 

He isn't there when she comes back, and hates, even more, that he feels something prickle inside his chest when Maria catches him near the stables, and says, I expected more from you, Joel.

It doesn't feel good when he bites back, that's your problem, Maria. Shouldn't have gotten your hopes up. 

Joel lives in his vindication, in his pettily forced indifference. She hasn't come to see him, anyway, and he's sure that she and Varsity jacket are meeting at the pub for that date he'll never give her. 

Doesn't matter, he thinks. And then, if only to burn himself in the flames, he adds: better this way. 

She'll know when he's not there. She's smart like that. Know him in ways he doesn't think anyone else ever could. Ever wanted to. 

(He hates it, and her, sometimes, for it.)

She'll understand. She might corner him one day with that dry ire dripping from the corners of her mouth, patronising and grim, and she'll do what she does best when she strips him bare and leaves him to rot. 

Her eyes are cobra pits. Her teeth leak venom. 

But she won't push. 

It'll simmer out when she blinks, knowing that this is it, and she'll say: okay, Joel. 

Okay. 

He braces for it—hates that has to because that means something, something he isn't ready to acknowledge—and—

And it's all moot. 

She never shows up at the gate. 

It punctures something in his lungs when Tommy looks up at him, face ashen and worried, and says: "she didn't come back. They didn't come back."

It takes an hour to find her, left for dead and beaten within an inch of her life by the side of the road. A wound in her side—a gaping hole he swears he can see through. Milky bones poke through, drenched in red, and—

His heart doesn't stop, but a piece of it breaks off and lodges itself in his throat. He can't swallow. Can't breathe.

Something curls out from the moon-white line of her rib. 

A bud, he thinks. Distant. Warbled. A saprophyte. 

He has the image of her in his head. The same one he sees when he closes his eyes and falls into a fitful sleep. 

Beautiful even as the cordyceps split her skull into blooming monkshood in hideous grey and plum. Pale and lifeless; a marionette on toadstool strings. A puppet in fluorescence. 

"She's—"

Tommy's hand reaches down, fingers curling around the sprout. 

Don't— not Tommy, too—

He pulls back, and Joel catches the tremble in his joints, the whites of his knuckles, when he spreads his fingers. 

In the palm of his hand sits a leaf. 

A leaf. 

The bark that leaves his chest tears right through the clot in his throat. Rips him open from the inside out. 

"A fucking leaf—"

He carries her back, and doesn't let go until the doctor is there, urging him out of the room. 

"You'll get in the way." 

He sees the looks they give him when he passes, but Joel never cared what people think. 

Doesn't plan on starting now, either. 

He's on the wrong side of fifty, and has more blood on his hands than the looted bars of soap could ever scour clean. He knows who he is, and maybe, maybe, knows what he wants, and Ron's loud mouth never meant much to him, anyway. 

Joel gets a name when she's sleeping after surgery—lucky, he overhears, got there in the knick of time, any later and—and brings nothing with him when he leaves. He won't need it. Doesn't want it.

He finds them chatting over an open fire, and beats them to death with nothing but his bare hands. 

He doesn't burn them. Doesn't bury them. 

When he's finished, covered in blood and aching, and satisfied, he drives an ice pick through their skulls (the same thing, he finds, that caused the hole in her side), and leaves them to rot. 

They say nothing about the blood on his shirt, or the broken, mangled fingers of his hand. He's content to leave them. To feel the agony as his broken bones split through cracked skin.

(He thinks of her—broken, blue—and clenches his hands so tight, the pain makes him blackout.)

He only lets Maria patch him up when she hisses about infection, and blood poisoning. 

Says nothing at all about what he'd done, where he'd gone. 

She doesn't ask. 

When she's finished, she says: "woke up yesterday."

He knows. Still: "that right?" 

"Gonna go see her?"

"Don't need me crowding around her bed."

"Maybe she, for some reason, wants to see your ugly mug."

"She tell you that?" 

"Didn't ask about you, if that's what you're asking." She snorts. Shakes her head. "Both a'you are really perfect for each other, you know?"

"We ain't." 

Her brow raises. Something prickles across her expression. "Huh."

"What?"

"Nothing," she shakes her head with a small smirk. "Just… didn't know you knew the word we, is all." 

"We done here?"

He doesn't go to her. 

Stubborn as an ox, she comes to him. 

She says nothing about the bandages on his black and blue hands. Nothing about the way he can't make a fist through all the swelling. Her hands are soft, and warm, when they wrap around his. Small, delicate. A baby deer cupping the paws of a grizzly bear. 

His eyes flash with something that tastes of the same rotten satisfaction he felt gnarled inside of his chest when the man who left her for dead on the side of a road wheezed as Joel broke his nose, and then battered the broken bulb into a messy, mushy pulp. 

He didn't stop until grey matter leaked through the holes. 

She knows what he did. He feels it in the way she stares at the black, swollen mess of his fingers. Bones broke on teeth, on a fractured skull. 

He doesn't regret it. He doesn't even think he enjoyed it much, really. 

It had to be done. Had to. 

They took a life. Varsity Jack, she tells him. Stabbed in the heart when he tried to defend her with the same ice pick that ripped through her flesh. 

Her tone is flat. Empty. 

He sees bruises on her knuckles, those little fists were her only defence against them, and the red welt on the man's face makes sense now. 

He feels proud. 

She's not broken—battered, beaten, torn to pieces—but she still stands, whole, intact. Resilient. Strong. 

(A survivalist. The only time she ever alluded to more was to tell him that he was worrying for nothing. That, above all, she would survive. Outlive him, even.

"What are you so afraid of, old man?" A cheeky wink. Her tongue dips out, and touches the upper corner of her lip. "I'm gonna outlive you, anyway."

God, he thought, he really hopes she fucking does.)

It doesn't surprise him to see her eyes cloud with anger, arsenic white, when she brings his hands to her lips, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles. Anyone else might have asked why. Said thank you, even. 

She just murmurs, "I hope they suffered." 

Saccharine sweet. 

Rotten to the core. 

He saw the same shade of calamity in her eyes when she wandered in, grim and distant, as the one that stared back at him in the mirror. Her complicity in this doesn't surprise him. If anything, he wonders if she's angry he left nothing behind for her. 

The thought makes his lips quirk in a needle of something he hasn't felt in a long time. 

"They did."

The words are uttered like a promise. His busted pinky twitches, and it makes her smile. A bloom of petal pink flowering across her face. Soft and tender. The swell of a sea mark burgeoning out in the gloom of grey. 

And all for him.

Joel pulled her in close. Closer still. 

(Too close, maybe, because now he doesn't know how he'll sleep without her by his side)

His thumb slips over the tumid skin poking out from tight, black sutures. The threads are the only thing keeping her together. 

Beneath it is a bruise. Black. The tip of his thumb presses against the cresting peak. Knuckle to skin, it's a perfect fit. 

(In all the same ways he and she aren't.)

"I'm okay, Joel," she whispers, and the thick, dulcified tone of her voice shakes him from the labyrinth of his mind. 

His grief, sorrow, the ones that he tries to shove into a box marked apathy, are worn in the crevasses that line his weathered face. Deep canyons make him look ages older than he is. He wonders if she can see them. If she can peel the divots back and uncover the festering sickness, the rot, that sits in the folds. 

It's his own fault, he thinks, for stuffing his grief in the same place he keeps his worry. 

"Yeah," he intones, and he isn't sure if he's speaking to her, himself, or a god he hasn't spoken to since he was eighteen and Sarah got sick for the first time. Maybe everyone, all of them, all at once.

It makes her huff. "Am I losing you already, old man?"

"Ain't that old," he bites back, hips lifting when she slides down. It makes him nudge something that has her eyes fluttering, mouth dropping, slack. Her nails catch skin when they rake over his chest. 

Sex has always been an outlet. A comfort. It blankets that part of his head that never quiets—failures, failings—and offers a respite from it all. Her weight on his hips, chest, thighs doesn't dull it all but buffers it. 

White noise in his ears when her nails rake over his skin. The scent of her clings in the air around them—sex, kerosene, cinder, ash: the scent of a wet forest after a wildfire scorched the earth—and clots out the fetor of decay, of mildew, and moss, the earthy tang that reminds them of death. Of them. 

It's a distraction. Distance in skin, sweat, and heat. 

It's just sex, just—

"God, Joel," she gasps loud, sharp, when he pitches his hips into her, blunt and unforgiving, and hits deep. Carves out the shape of him in her soft, fluttering flesh, and tries not to get lost in the thick scent of her. 

It dusts over everything until he still smells her even when she isn't here. 

Temporary made permanent. 

It's the very thing he runs from finally catching up. He feels the graze of fingers ghosting over the nape of his neck when he looks at her, poised and centred above him. Aphrodite in flesh and bone. Her fingers prickle his skin with their sharp tips, and the indents left behind are soothed over when she gasps his name like it's something special. Meaningful. An orison murmured in the quiet box of a confessional booth. 

The curtain rustles. 

"Yeah," he grunts, low and filthy; the noise sticks in the back of his throat when he feels her tighten up around him. A little apple-sized fist of pleasure. He flexes his thighs, hands grasping her tight, and knows he's going to keep her here again tonight. "Fuck, sweetheart—"

The way she moves is liquid. Mercury. He watches, eagle-eyed and enraptured, as she squares her shoulders, and takes him to the root. The base. 

Her presence in his life atrophied his defences until they lay scattered on the sheets that reek of her. In the folds of his pillow where he rests his head at night. The featherlight wood of his guitar when she leans over his shoulder, and says, play me another one, Joel. 

He's a dog without an owner. A stray mutt on the outskirts of town, wandering through the city in search of sustenance. 

She's the one who keeps feeding him. Lays out a dish just for him, and scratches her nails behind his ears until the curl of his lips subsides. A slow broiled trust. He stops showing her his canines, his claws, when she shows him the vulnerable curve of her neck, and lets him mark her skin with his touch. 

Joel will mourn her the same way he does everyone else—achingly empty, and tearless—but he thinks, now, that he might think of her once, and then never again. He's selfish. Always has been. 

(Can't afford not to be when she looks better bearing his mark. When he sleeps easier with her breath in his ear.)

Just sex. The words are weak in the back of his head, and he feels the shaky resolve begin to crumble, chossy wobbling under unsteady feet, when her head falls back in a mockery of prayer, the utterance of his name heavier than the sins on his shoulders. Just sex. Just—

The grille falls, and shatters into smelted pig iron at their feet.

—it's just her, him, and the beats in between. A slow simmer of sex to something more. Something he isn't quite ready for, yet knows he can't let go of. Won't. Not now, not ever. He won't give her anything, nothing but the touch of his hands, and the weight of his body, but it's juxtaposed to the worry heavy in his chest, the anger still lacing the broken bones in his fingers when his thumb brushes the curve of her wound. 

It splits in her ardour. The bottom scab tugged too much, lifting from broken flesh. 

Ichor pebbles on the seam. It pools an angry merlot against the indigo scab, but when it slides down her flesh, it's Phlegethon red. 

His thumb catches it. It's warm, and sticky. He smears it over her quivering belly, and fights the urge to try and lick it clean. Knows, somehow, it would taste of Lethe. 

Joel's teeth ache when he grinds them together, tongue lashing across the ivory seal. He's thinking too much—abstracts, concretes; they blur together in a cacophony of want, take, run, hide—

Keep. 

"It's okay," she says again, as if all his secrets laid bare. As if the talons digging into his flesh somehow tapped a vein, an artery, that leads directly to his stem, and she's syphoning the thoughts in his head with the same ease that she steals the breath from his lungs. "It's okay, Joel. It's—"

She doesn't finish. Her words are shorn, bitten at the grain when he reaches up, holding her around the waist, and brutally fucks into her weeping cunt with the finesse of a starving man invited to a feast fit for a King. 

It jostles her. Breasts swaying, head bobbing back and forth as he nearly lifts her off the bed with the force of his thrusts. 

The brutality of it screams one shrill echo of it isn't. None of this is okay. None of it. 

She's chiselling him open until he's a raw wound exposed to the unforgiving air. Until he bleeds and thinks of her. Until the only sound that drowns out the terror raking across his synapses is her voice when she murmurs his name. 

"We're fine, Joel—," it carries the flavour of axiom. Aphorism when she says: "we'll be okay."

She trembles over him, muscles straining to keep up. This isn't her taking; despite being perched above him like a queen astride her throne, she gives. Lowers herself the way he likes. Circles her hips until he sees white behind his eyelids. 

The weight of her feels like an anvil. The heat is enough to liquefy his bones. 

"Keep goin'," he rasps the words out—a strange limbo of being both an encouragement and a demand. It lacks the bite it had before, when he'd bend her over and fuck her until he was satisfied, until the howling in his head, and the ache in his bones was eased with the soporific gossamer only sex could give him. "Just like that, pretty thing—"

It's a slip. An accident. 

Her rhythm stutters. Her ribs expand wide under his palms; ballooning up so much he wonders if she's trying to burst them at the seams or float away. Irrational, of course. Sex makes him stupid. Makes him hungry and needy, and has him feeling like he's almost, almost human, and—

He holds on a little tighter. 

Pretty thing. Her lips form the words in a soundless exhale. Pretty thing. She's used to him calling her all sorts of sobriquets smeared in a palpable stroke of derision. It's not contemptuous, but he makes his mockery of it clear with the flout in his tone. Sarcastic, caustic. 

Sure thing, beautiful. If that's what you want, sweetheart. Go on then, gorgeous. 

She always wore the same sour twist to her lips, the exaggerated eye roll. The heavy huff. 

It was never flirtatious, never complimentary. 

This—pretty thing—is the softest he'd ever regarded her. 

He watches her throat bob when she swallows, eyes tracing the nervous flutter as she struggles to grasp the concurrency of his words, the way he said them. Their meaning. It flickers through those depths that threaten consumption whenever they dust over the length of him. Thinking. Thinking. 

They were always abstract, but his words are concrete, and she isn't sure how to carry the heavy cinder he drops on her. Her fingers are used to the ephemeral weight of his scorn; the delineation of distance—unspoken but unignorable. Unequivocal in its separation. 

"Wow," she breathes, tremulous. She grasps at normalcy but he can see how much those two words have rattled her. She swallows again. Eyes narrowing. Viper pits. "Getting soft in your old age, huh?"

Joel isn't ready to acquiesce. 

He pitches his hips up, letting her feel the solid length of him—blunt, burning iron—and feels his chest flutter when she whines, head dropping back as he bludgeons into her core. 

"Fuck, Joel—"

He isn't soft. Isn't malleable. He's made of carbonised grief, anguish, despair. Reinforced with volcanic clinkers running rivets of apoplectic fury. 

He isn't soft. Isn't what she deserves, or needs, or should even want—

But the way she says his name is pyrolysing. 

Cinder. Soot. Ash. 

He spent so much time holding firm against the walls to keep her out, he never bothered to filter the air he breathed. She clots in his lungs. The scent of her builds. A mass forms. Metastasises inside of him. 

Her hands fall there, palms drawn to the steady thump of his beating heart. It drums under her skin, a stuttering rhythm that makes her own chest swell with her shaky inhale. 

His slide, rough skin scraping over her soft flesh. She burns hotter than the acorn stove in the corner of the room, and he feels the heat simmering in his veins. Scents the sulphur and volcanic ash in the air when she leans down, bending at the elbows to press her lips against his. It's chaste, as far as their usual kisses go. Biting and vitriolic. As if being sweet, tender, was forbidden. 

Maybe it was. He doesn't know what he'd have done if she kissed him like this back then. Honeyed rich, and molasses slow. It tastes like smoke but reminds him of the rock candy he'd make at home with Tommy when he was young. 

She moans into his mouth when his hands slip around her waist, her thigh. He holds her steady, and rocks up into her to the same tremulous beat as her clumsy, fragile kisses. The vibrations buzz on his bruised lips, and the tingle of her voice washing over him makes his cock twitch inside of her. 

The press of him, unyielding and firm, against her soft, soft walls makes him grunt. Another noise pulled into the cacophony of them. It's lower than anything he's ever made before. New. Novice. 

Fucking her now feels marginally different than it had only yesterday. It's raw. Vulnerable. 

He thinks of a slow burn. A candle wick. 

Wonders, then, if she feels it, too. This rawness that sits in his thundering chest; a scraped-out, hollow feeling that draws in more and more of her until the crater is filled with the essence of her sweat, the heavy breaths she tries to stifle in her throat to keep kissing him like she'll never get the chance to again. 

And that must be it. 

This isn't what he normally gives her—bruises and bites, beard burns over the delicate softness of her flesh; he leaves her kiss-bruised and drunk off of the taste of him, malt-heavy and whisky sour. 

Intimacy is saved for moments when she cums around him, tightening up like a strung bow in his archer's hold; when she squeezes herself into the nook of his shoulder, whimpering as he fucks her through her high, and chases his release in the spasming clutch of her willing body. When he cums, painting her stomach, her thighs, her ass, with the stain of his spend, the only physical proof he'd been inside of her, and smears the wet mixture of them on her heated flesh, still buzzing with the aftershocks of her orgasmic haze. 

It's reserved for the microcosm carved from their shared release, drenched in the glow of the chemical slurry that saturates their brains, releasing endorphins until they feel nothing but the buzz of each other. Skin to sweaty skin. Each breath a gasp. 

He lets her linger in these soft moments. This singular dissonance sits incongruously with everything else between them. But then she shifts. The microcosm that filmed around them bursts. 

She slips away after he does, slowly leaning over to pull on her discarded clothes, and wipe the stain of him from her body. 

His fingers itch for a cigarette when he watches her through lidded eyes as she stumbles around on fawn legs. 

She always hesitates for a moment. Joel often wonders if she's waiting for him to ask her to stay. 

He never does. She leaves. 

(Rinse. Repeat.)

But now—

"Easy, now," he murmurs, tongue slipping through the gap of her teeth to chase her taste. "Don't rush this, sweetheart."

Everything about this is unlike him, and she moans her disquietude into the scant space between them, brow knotting together when her stitches pull, and he leaves a bloodied trail across her waist, knuckles split and bleeding anew. 

They're both bloodied, he finds. Drenched in each other's sweat, spittle, and blood. 

It makes dizzy. Makes his fingers dig into her flesh, holding her closer to his heaving chest as he takes. His hips raise off the bed—a clumsy slant into her welcoming sex, and he feels her shudder when he hits deep, cock nudging that soft place inside of her that always makes her forehead crease. 

He can't see it when she leans down, peppering wet kisses across his grey beard, and painting hard through her nose when he presses the flat of his palm against the base of her spine and fucks into her with sharp, unrhythmical thrusts. 

"That's it, take it just like that—," he grinds the words off, and tastes the condescension in his tone. 

In response, she bites down on his pulse point. 

Another break in the routine. The rules lay scattered around them, smouldering embers of this incipient beginning to something neither of them is ready for. 

Her hands wiggle out from between their chests, bringing them closer together than before, and when she tangles her fingers in the damp curls behind his ears, he swears he can feel her heartbeat echoing through his ribs. 

He spears himself into her faster, seeking that place he knows will make her melt—

"Joel, oh—ah, fuck—"

—and once found, he cruelly angles the head of his cock into it, rasping out words of patronisation into her ear. 

Good girl, he says, and groans when her cunt tightens around him like a nautical bow. Taking me so good. Gonna cum for me? Gonna cum around my cock—

He can feel his release brimming up like a fever in his veins. White-hot and arctic cold. It sets his nerves on fire, and the pressure of her around him makes him see pure white. 

He thinks of church on Sundays when she chants his name like a hymnal—Joel, Joel, Joel—and finds nirvana when she sinks her teeth deeper into his flesh, unmarked and unclaimed until now. He'll have the perfect impression of her teeth embedded in his skin, and thought alone makes that gnarled spool inside of him loosen. 

Joel is taken by surprise when she cums—voice a shaky, shrill howl of his name, and the sound of it, the blood that stains his beard when she turns, baring her teeth and pressing them flat to his jaw, makes him grunt. It's raw. An oozing wound.

She flutters around him like the beat that echoes through his bones, and feels a hunger inside of him grow. 

The uncoiled knot inside of him rears, once dormant and dead to the world, now gnashing its jowls at the hands that prodded it from its slumber. Rapacious. A black hole when it yawns. 

The town knows she's his. Has since she sidled up to him, all soft smiles and viper eyes, and asked him to dance, for a drink, and what's a handsome man like you doing in a place like this? Got anyone I should worry about, Joel? Wanna dance? Wanna fuck—

And they know, now, that he's hers when he carries her in his arms, and knocked his forearm into the necks of anyone who tried to pry her from his clutch. 

They know. They know, but it's not enough. 

He wants to mark her, stain her. Leave her with the permanent smear of him on her pretty skin. 

Fuck—

This wasn't supposed to happen, but the keen awareness comes much too late. 

He fucks the frustration into the tight clutch of her willing, forgiving, body, and tries not to come apart at the seams when she mewls his name like he's just as much of a burden to her as she is to him. Bankrupt. Bereft of the walls and the rationale that kept him lightyears away from everyone else around him (until Ellie, the hospital—this place that reeks of stagnancy and burrowed into his marrow), he crumbles in her hold once more. 

His release hits him like a sucker punch to his gut, and the force of it makes him ache.

He doesn't pull out like he always, always, does despite the contraceptive she has, and spilling inside of her spasming cunt feels too much like heaven for him not to come apart at the seams. For him not to shatter into pieces when she pulls him closer, and murmurs, that's it, Joel. That's it—cum for me. Just let go, I got you—

And for the first time in a long time, he does.

It's an awkward assemblage of limbs that don't fit together, bodies that are too incompatible, but he tugs her down onto the mattress beside him, and makes it work. She rests the flat of her palm over his sweat-slicked chest, nails raking through the dusted grey smatter of hair on his chest. The inside of her thigh is wet with him, with her, them, when she slides it over his hip. 

Her head rests on soft tissue where his arm and shoulder meet, ear nestled into his armpit. His arm around her back, fingers resting on the curve of her elbow. It's then, when he finds his thumb brushing small circles into her dewy skin, that he realises what this is. 

Cuddling, he thinks, a touch derisively, in the apocalypse.

It was never a burning release, the aftermath of that intoxicating chemical bath of endorphins, oxytocin, and then a quick until next time. 

Being trade partners for most of the scheduled shifts—his brutality, and her knowledge of survival made them a perfect match outside of this clumsy moment of intimacy—meant that she often stayed for a few hours afterwards discussing plans, and who to barter with next or the places they haven't yet scavenged. Lying naked beside each other, shoulders sometimes brushing as they spoke—that was the extent of their post-sex ritual. 

This, he knows, is new. Different. 

It has the same cadence as last night when his massive hand swallowed her wrist in his palm, and he said, just sleep here, but it's a syncopation. Lighter, somehow, than the gruff way he demanded her company, the brutal divot between his brow. 

She moves, slow and languid, and for a moment he thinks about letting her leave. Repairing the chasm that crumbled between them into heaps of broken ruination and anguish, her hand brushes his when she pulls away, and he knows he won't. 

For such a massive presence, she's surprisingly small in his grasp. The bump of her wrist bone fits snug against the broken, swollen knuckle of his middle finger when he folds his hand around hers. 

The hitch in her breath, the rapid flutter of her pulse beating against his too rough, too worn palm are the only measure of her hesitation, her confusion. 

They're not themselves in this moment. 

The moor around him collapses. A sinkhole forms. 

He clings to her and drags her under with him.

The words won't form on his lips. His throat is bereft of what he feels in his marrow, unable to utter them aloud, to make them real. As if speaking his burgeoning desires is somehow worse than a death sentence. 

Wanting in this world is dangerous, and ruinous, but when Joel sees the dawning realisation buoying to the surface in those unfathomable black holes, he knows there's nothing more worrisome, more deadly, to him than her insatiable appetite. Her desire for more. 

More—

And just him. 

Something in her gaze splinters. Cracks. Her shoulder slump in something that tastes of the same defeat that taints the pinch in his brow. 

"You are getting softer, Joel Miller," she takes a stab at a joke but her hands shake too much for it to land properly. "Who'd have thought all it would take is old age and mortality—"

"Shut up," he grumbles, and fights the thrum of satisfaction that spumes in his veins when she lays back down beside him. "Didn't hear you complainin' this much five minutes ago."

"Yeah, well—" her hands settle on his chest, fingers carting through the damp, matted hair. "There's a reason I'm always on top, you know. Worried you might throw your back out." 

"You say that like I haven't already." 

Her chin scraps over the soft flesh where his bicep meets the curve of his shoulder, eyes bright in the morning sun that smears rays of ochre across the bridge of her nose.

She's pretty, he thinks, and feels that same gnawing in his guts, that same hunger, when she dips, and presses a kiss to his skin. 

"Poor baby," she coos, brows drawing together in mock sympathy. "I can't believe a little missionary ruined you so badly. Guess I should take better care of the elderly."

"Wasn't the missionary," he huffs. Her skin is soft, tacky, when he runs his fingers over her shoulder. "It was carrying your heavy ass home."

"Did my heavy ass snap your hips, too—"

"Christ," he bites out, but it lacks any heat. "You just never shut up, do you?" 

He hears the click in her throat when she swallows. 

"Guess you'll just have to shut me up, won't you, old—"

He presses his lips to hers, and steals the goading words from her quivering mouth. 

"Call me an old man again, and I'll spank your ass, little girl."

The condescending tone is thick, but where he expects her indignation over the same words spoken to her by everyone else when she said she wanted to go with him on runs—stay here where it's safe, little girl—it instead makes her suck in a sharp breath between her teeth. He feels the vacuum of it against his lips, and blinks up at her. 

"Did you like that—"

"No," she snaps, and drops her head to his chest. "God, Joel, you really know how to ruin a moment."

"Is that what this was? A moment?"

"Yes," she volleys back. "You don't think it was?"

He swallows down the tang of panic that salts his tongue, and presses his lips to her crown instead. 

"Ain't much of one, was it?"

"We'll make a better one," she murmurs, the lilt of a promise heavy in her words. 

When she settles in his fold, cheek laying flat against his chest—hiding her embarrassment he tones with a particular thrum of fondness so sweet it makes his teeth ache—he folds his arm over her shoulder, keeping her tucked into the bracket of his body. 

She's too small for him to ever be a perfect fit. Too hard inside that pretty little head for him to ever wiggle through. Too soft for him not to ruin her completely when he holds her too tight in his hands that overlap in a way that sometimes makes him dizzy, feverish with want, with fear. 

She doesn't click in the same way Tess does—did. 

A silent agreement of unspoken distance. Never ask for more, it hissed because you'll be brutally disappointed. Never hunger because you won't ever be satiated. Don't yearn. Don't want. Don't, don't, don't—

No, she doesn't click. She doesn't fit. Not with him. Not at all. 

(Tess left him whole. 

She devours.)

Consumes. 

Her eyes are black holes, and ever since she looked at him through the fanned ring of her lashes, and said: you won't break me that easily, he's been standing on the edge of her event horizon waiting for that perfect singularity to swallow him whole. 

(He thought her pull would happen quickly. Instantaneous. 

But she's been ripping him apart the entire time; morsel after morsel until all that remains is raw nerve. Scraps.)

A slow descent into comfort, kinship. 

She's on the same plane of existence as Tommy, Ellie. Maria, too, he supposes, a touch begrudgingly. His circle widens, expands. The bubble encompassing her, too, and he knows that he'd mourn her in the same hushed breath as the rest. 

I'll outlive you, old man. 

(He's never wanted something more in his life right now than for those words to come to fruition.)

For the first time since the walls reared, since the gunshot that still echoes in his ears like a reminder of his sins, his failures, Joel thinks of tomorrow. And the one after that. And after that. 

He thinks of her, and them, this, in the afternoon. Over old stew. Tommy's laughter. Maria's knowing glances. Ellie's anger. Her scorn. Distrust. 

Wasting the night away in the bar that's always several octaves too loud not to make him tense, antsy. Watching her dance around the room, ballerina nimble with a sprinter's pace. Listen to her joke and laugh with the men who look at her a touch too long, and a shade too intense, and—

Bringing her home after. Back here in this small house where he rots. Where he plays his guitar as if the chords of Hurt would ever be enough to drown out the bullets and the bloodshed. The clicks, the groans. The scent of moss, and fungus. 

Taking her to bed in the sheets that hasn't stopped smelling like her since he fucked her three times over Christmas until she sobbed into his pillow, and begged him for respite. When she brushed the grey hair from his temple with fingers that wouldn't stop trembling despite the ease in her grin, and the polynya in her eyes as she regarded him with more than just desire. More than just sex and sweat and the comfort that comes with losing yourself to the chemical high of another body tucked into the crevasse of your own. 

She doesn't fit. She doesn't belong. 

But fuck—

He knows he's gone when he can't imagine her anywhere else. 

"Sure," he says, and wonders when she let herself into his life, into the gnarled remanants of his chest. "Whatever you say, sweetheart."

(He only dreams in black and white, but when he closes his eyes and dreams of her, it's in a startling palette of browns, reds, and blues.)

[bougainvillea-and-saltwater]

WIP WEDNESDAY!

HELLO, many of my beloved mutuals tagged me in their snippets and WIP Wednesdays these days, and I can't thank you all enough for this, @kiir-do-faal-rahhe, @bostoniangirl21, @illumiera, @hircines-hunter, @skyrim-forever! 🧡 So, I thought it was the perfect chance to share something from chapter 22 of The Priest and the Dragoness...

Then, at the very crescendo of the fever, something strange happens. Instead of the howl of the wounded and rabid beast Jia was sure she’d cry as a devastated, furious rejoinder, Words of Power come out. They burst forth unbidden, unconscious from the shelter of her teeth, as though her very dragon soul has just equally enough and taken over without seeking the input of her reason, roaring through her human mouth. It’s like Solstheim all over again, but this time, it is not Storm Call that echoes from her depths. “TIID KLO!” The world stands still. Yet, as a newfound turn of her Voice’s reach, this stillness is not equally shared by all. Because the Second can feel everything with terrible clarity—time crawling as slowly as the rolling of a dewdrop on a mossy tree trunk, and the tapestry of space ripping out its yarns, leaving only a flimsy, dark shroud outstretching around him—a darkness of a familiar place nonetheless, for he’s been there before. Northwatch Keep. Hawk-swift, he whips his head around, left-right, left-right, left-right… and then—and then he sees her. At the end of the pitch-black corridor, with a lone sliver of light bathing her, a pure and pale aura shimmering in the gloaming, though beneath the purity, there is also something—something raw, bloody, with nerve endings hanging out all over the place, sharp and piercing like the most vicious fire straight from the bottomless pits of hell, and her eyes— —her eyes are bleached. Same as then, when he tortured her. Same as her father’s, when he tortured him. Pupils and irises there are not. Only two white moons. “You will not live to see the eye of your God.” She opens her mouth but her lips are unmoving and her voice… Auriel have mercy on him, her voice is dissonant and layered with someone—something?—else’s he’s dreaded to pinpoint. “Your heart burned. The fire seethed you from the inside. It crawls through your lungs before your breaths turn to ashes in your mouth. You blast inside out, and your maimed members scattered and melted. Until there is nothing left of you but bones.” His eyes widen. These… words! He—he recognizes them! He’s been—he’s been told before by— “You are dying.” She prophesies, weaving past, present, and future words like a myriad of astral spools of her mind. And for one time in this life of his, full of power and control, Caranthir feels fear for his sinful soul. “You died in the fire of your own veins and snow falls on top and covers you in a shroud of white. You did not run. You will not run. You cannot run.” He looks down— —his boots within a pool of blood; stuck, like trapped in quicksand. She laughs. “Shut up,” he whispers as he sinks. “S-Shut up, shut up, you witch!” And Elettra laughs harder.

There, Jia and her Beloathed Thalmor Enemy having a Real Moment™. Definitely inspired by Helaena's prophecy to Aemond from HotD—Jia's being Cassandra here...👀

I tag: @oblivions-dawn, @miraakulous-cloud-district, and @thequeenofthewinter and everyone who wishes to share something—don't forget to tag me back so I can see it! 🥰

[animezinglife]

ACOTAR Headcanons - Gym AU Edition

Some just-for-fun and weirdly specific headcanons based on my own very regular observations.

Feyre: Feyre is actually pretty typical in terms of gymgoing, who tends to fall into her own zone once she has her playlist up and running. She usually starts on the treadmill and people watches before fully getting into her own zone and opting for intuitive workouts that feel right for her at the time rather than going for strict programs or plans. She doesn't sweat. She glistens. She keeps her attire pretty practical with classic, neutral leggings and a tank top. Often shows up with Rhys even though they separate to do their own thing. Honestly, everyone kind of just likes Feyre even if they don't really know her.

Elain: The Soft Gym Girl™ aesthetic incarnate and the social butterfly who makes friends with everyone in her group fitness classes. Is adored by all the older ladies who work out there and knows them all on a first-name basis, and they bond over gardening. Always has her yoga mat and shows up in paler colors and can fearlessly rock a white 'fit, often with a light wrap sweater or cardigan over her workout clothes. She somehow still always looks put-together and perfect after a workout, a low ponytail with curls/waves still intact and hint of color on her cheeks that makes it look more like she's blushing and less like she's just worked out for an hour. Don't underestimate her, though: she can hold her own in any group fitness class and loves the way they leave her feeling.

Nesta: Don't Talk to Me™. Grandmaster of the RBF, who pulls her hair back tightly in a neat, low bun or severe braid so that no strands stray from their place. She will glare at anyone who tries to speak to her/distract her and will usually completely ignore anyone who makes that attempt without even taking off her headphones. Also looks crazy hot despite it all and opts for sleek, plainer, dark outfits (usually matching sets) in cuts that show off her lean, strong form. Only shows up when she feels like it but somehow doesn't lose strength or stamina.

Amren: The Small But Mighty™, who like Nesta falls a little more into the RBF category but also gains a lot of attention by the absolutely stupid amount of weight she moves for her small stature. She's also the one you never quite know what you'll see doing: she might be deadlifting the weight of two Cassians, or she might be pulling some calisthenics in the corner. Nobody knows much about her. Nobody asks. Has been witnessed talking to Nesta; so far the only time the regulars have seen the former smile.

Mor: Bold Gear Girl. She has no fear when it comes to her wardrobe and will wear anything from unforgiving red leggings, to a bodysuit, to a one-strap sports bra. She knows she looks good and isn't afraid to flaunt what she's got, but she also gets in her zone and can keep up with the best of them in just about any type of exercise. She likes taking classes with others and absolutely kills it in Zumba, but she'll just as easily kill it in kickboxing. Also much stronger than her feminine, curvy frame gives away. When that belt goes on (and it's definitely pink), it's game time.

Rhys: Despite being called "out of shape" by Cassian and Azriel, Rhys is anything but. Like Feyre, he tends to not stand out too much aside from his looks and presence, but definitely still gets noticed for his beauty and sensuality by all the women (and a few men). Definitely dressed head-to-toe in name brand gear that fits his body beautifully to the point of being sinful. The Pretty One™ that's caused at least one gym girlie to walk into a wall or trip over something while trying to watch him. Often shows up with Feyre even though they separate to do their own thing. Has big Married Man and Loyal energy. Wears his wedding ring through every single workout. Silently judges really bad gym 'fits with Feyre. The old ladies who work out there are convinced he's the guy from their sexy billionaire romance novels and they absolutely talk fantasies about him over lunch afterwards.

Cassian: The Fit Pro™. The Trainer, unofficial or otherwise who has the training and education to know exactly how to train his body and others' to maximize both efficiency and benefits. This man is Strong™. He's also built a social media following and has accidentally become something like an influencer because of his funny, easygoing personality and wicked smile. May or may not be hypped up on pre-workout. He will program the perfect workout to meet his friends' goals but is also excellent at improvising. Always willing to train his friends. Unironically and completely intentionally wearing The Sweatpants™. The only man brave enough to ask Nesta how many reps she has left or crazy enough to do so while grinning. Will not do yoga or Zumba. Is convinced both would cause him irreparable injury. Surprisingly agile and quick with rock climbing despite his size. Cannot be left unsupervised for too long. Is universally loved by all of the old ladies and hugs them. The old men really like him too and like to share "back in my day" stories when they used to lift a lot more weight, too. Got kicked out of Planet Fitness.

Azriel: The Strong and Silent Walking Sin™, who always has his headphones on, is always wearing all black, and considers muscle-up ring dips a normal part of his warm-up. This man shows up in layers of black gym gear and is peak V-shape aesthetic, with the kind of shoulder-waist ratio that makes other guys simultaneously jealous and question their sexuality. Nobody knows much of anything about him, but he never misses a workout and he's too many people's gym crush. When that hoodie/pump cover comes off, it's all over. Hits the mat with MMA guys or Cassian on occasion and forces a submission with the former fast. He always knows more about you than you know about him and has probably somehow overheard every conversation you never wanted him to.

Lucien: Simultaneously the Endurance Guy™ and the Social Butterfly™ with a well-rounded, smart training plan. Sure, he's not as big as Cassian or as intense as Azriel, but he's also no slouch when it comes to strength training and is regularly underestimated in it despite his strong, fit body. King of bodyweight exercises with crazy stamina. He's the guy who will overlap you ten times over on the track without breaking a sweat while you're dying. He isn't as quickly noticed when he walks in, but the ones who notice him do so thoroughly. Aesthetics are his middle name. Will kick your ass in a Spartan--only Azriel and Cassian can really compete with him there. Lucien's top of the line in terms of speed and overall agility. Knows everybody's business, but keeps it to himself. Will tease you a little, but will also help you out if you have a question. Likes to wrap things up by lounging by the pool during the warm seasons. Seems like he's spent a lot of time outdoors. Can also handle the rock wall and bouldering like a pro. The old ladies absolutely adore him and keep trying to set him up with their granddaughters.

Tamlin: Pretty, But Distant. Tamlin keeps to himself and focuses mostly on strength training through weightlifting. He's strong as hell but isn't necessarily pushing himself too hard for a new PR. Never asks for a spotter and takes a few seconds too many switching through songs on his playlist. He does genuinely look good, but currently isn't putting off the vibe of someone you could get close to. Not quite getting those revenge reps from his messy breakup in yet, but he's getting there. Raises an eyebrow and stares at grunters with a look of mild annoyance, then ends up moving far more weight with ease and in silence. Unclear if this is out of pettiness or not (but it's low-key funny af).

Ianthe: The Influencer™ with a full face of makeup, a one-strapped sports bra, and the up-the-ass bike shorts trying to get the perfect selfie. Is sitting on the equipment far too long and is starting to annoy people. Spends more time finding the perfect lighting, walking around the gym trying to pick up men, and somehow always being at the front of the weight room doing hip thrusts or bent-over rows with 2 lb. dumbbells. Makes eye contact on the hip abductor.

Jurian: Slightly loud and a little competitive, but also can usually back up his talk and what he's able to accomplish. This guy occasionally disappears at random, but is overall consistent and somehow knows everybody's business (and will bring it up). Probably the one grunting at the same amount of weight Amren's deadlifting.

Tarquin: The Fish™. This man is in the pool at 5:00 a.m. every day and swims a number of laps so smoothly and quickly that Ryan Lochte is nearly able to construct a coherent sentence. When he's not in the pool, he's quietly drifting around the weight room and resistance machines. King of the lat pull-downs. He's pretty sensible overall and doesn't stand out too much outside of the pool even though he looks amazing. Also a popular choice among the old lady crowd. Had to kick Cassian out of Planet Fitness.

Varian: Amren's shadow and designated spotter even though she doesn't need one. Nobody's entirely sure what he does. He kind of just hangs out.

Helion: Gym Daddy™. Helion brings as much knowledge to the floor as he brings swagger. It's hard not to notice him and he's strong af, but somehow makes everything he does look easy and like he's not even trying. Has definitely messed with Cassian at one point or another by "easily" moving a close-to-max weight while carrying on a conversation. Somehow makes everything look slightly sexual even if unintentionally. Keeps thorough records of his training sessions and almost always has a small notebook or notepad with him to do so.

Thesan: The Machines Guy. Thesan likes a workout where he can focus and get into his own zone, and he likes to do so a bit more quietly and on his own time. He's not competitive. He's just here for his health, but is polite if approached. He's fit but isn't the heavy lifter or endurance guy that some of the others are. Pretty generally well-liked; isn't sure how to answer the sweet old ladies' comments about them "having a granddaughter!" for him but is polite about it anyway.

Sorry, I don't know Eris, Emerie, Vassa, etc. enough yet to include them, so feel free to add on!

[naughtybg3confessions]

(Picture an 18th century-ish Priest!RaphaeI x Virgin!Tav scenario)

I wanna be a faithful, naive, good little girl ™ who has never done anything wrong in her life and goes to church every day to pray... only to find that there's a new devilishly handsome priest there.

I want Raphael to use that heavenly voice of his to seduce my pure soul into evil, first making me sin just a little -a lie here and there or the occasional overindulgence of alcohol- until I am absolutely thoroughly at his mercy.

Then to top it all of and make my soul his after all, bend me over a pew or the altar or whatever really and fuck me until I'm a whimpering overstimulated mess full of his seed.

When I discover I am pregnant with the devil's child, I get disowned and cast out by my family, leaving no me no choice but to come crawling back to Raphael and sell my soul in exchange for him protecting me from the rough life as a single woman with a kid out on the streets.

[conwise]

PART 1 OF AN UNECESSARY ART ANALYSIS:

I've seen people reblogging my FMA sins designs just saying they are SHAPES, which is true! They are all so SHAPED! On purpose!

I'm really happy people picked up on that because my intent going into these was to use shapes to build the character! Yes, I wanted to draw some FMA art, but I also really wanted to practice using shapes so heavily because I see people talk about it in the character design process. Plus all of the sins had such a distinct shape to me, like if Greed isn't a triangle, I've never been right about anything.

So I wanted to just do a little breakdown of them to talk a bit about the SHAPES (and because I'm kinda proud of these designs)

Gluttony is a circle, the roundest boy.

He's entirely just pretty much a circle here, not much to say. He was already pretty circular in the show so he was an easy one to figure out what shape to use. The circles are also a bit squashy because that adds some weight to him if that makes sense? Plus it makes him more adorable and he's honestly got some pretty wholesome moments which is why I love him

Lust is heart shaped because that's thematic and I was not gonna pass up on that opportunity. Also, I think it's a common thing that in cartoons the sexy lady™ character are heart shaped? I feel like I've definitely seen it before. Her body and top of her dress are the main hearts, but the rounded top part of the heart shape is echoed in her lips, hair, limbs, and shoes. I tried to keep most of her round to go with that

I LOVE Envy. What an icon. 10/10 amazing dinosaur.

The design I did for him was actually my second pass at it; I knew what I wanted from him but didn't quite get it the first time. I knew immediately he was gonna be a triangle (his hair was already so pointy) but I just pushed the shapes harder the second time, especially in the legs. I decided I wanted to use specifically a triangle with a point on the top since that's kinda already the way his hair was (it all comes back to the hair). Then I just repeated triangles in his face, ears, and clothes

So in conclusion:

I'll do another post covering the rest because designs 7 is a loooooong post

[bobfloydsbabe]

FIC REC FRIDAY | november 17th 2023

vibe check – @thedroneranger ↳ bob floyd x reader

WHY I LOVE IT

Jay’s contribution to the Bob Fucks™ agenda is a sinful and delicious fic that sees our beloved WSO get his freak on. It doesn’t try to be something it isn’t, and I appreciate it that immensely in a fic. We’re here to read smut and Jay delivers. Choosing to set this fic on an aircraft carrier was a stroke of genius because it raises the stakes and adds to the intimacy. It’s risky and hot. Bob walking in on Reader mid-masturbation made my head spin, and that they hold eye contact as she finishes made me feel warm all over. I love the inclusion of sex toys, first to self-pleasure and then Bob and Reader using it on each other. It’s not something you come across every day in fics, so I’m glad Jay added it. Bob starting out a little shy and unsure, but then growing in confidence created a nice balance, and it fit his character so well. Another thing I want to mention is the inclusion of consent. Bob asks Reader for permission to kiss them more than once. It’s a small thing, but I will always point it out because it’s important to include and it matters. I love that Bob gets a little cheeky, making small quips that give the story a feeling of lightness and ease. The smut was hot and delicious and I love the inclusion of different positions. Bob saying “a goodbye kiss for a pretty pussy” sent me over the edge–it’s funny and such a Bob thing to do. I loved how the ending shifted to Natasha's point of view, giving us a fresh perspective on Bob and Reader, and I adored that a tiny button was the way Natasha showed her approval.

TOP 3 REASONS YOU SHOULD READ IT TOO

➛ Bob Fucks. That's it. That's the reason.

➛ If you have an exhibitionism kink and like the inclusion of toys, this one's for you. It's great to see something different in fics than what we're used to.

➛ The inclusion of humor and lightness. Fics like this are supposed to be fun and easy, and Jay delivers on that point beautifully.

A NOTE ON THE PROCESS

fics are assigned a number. i then use a random generator and recommend you the fic corresponding to the number the tool picks. all recs are my personal favorites. if there's an author whose work you think i should check out, please reach out.

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[averageambivert]

GUILTY AS SIN? BUT WOLFSTAR

Okay so everytime I listen to this song, I imagine Remus and Sirius (the ATYD ones) singing it for each other. And I really need to get this out of my head so here we are:

Drowning in the Blue Nile He sent me 'Downtown Lights' I hadn't heard it in a while My boredom's bone deep This cage was once just fine

This whole part is Remus. It's literally about HIM. Him talking about his "cage" (i.e. St. Edmund's) , which he had accepted before Hogwarts, and even the Shrieking Shack before the other Marauders transformed into animagi and helped him. Before Sirius told him that he doesn't deserve to suffer alone.

Am I allowed to cry?

This line is TOO accurate for ATYD Remus, as he's always avoiding crying and sees it as a weakness.

I dream of cracking locks Throwing my life to the wolves

Basically him after he meets Livia. My guy was ready to leave Hogwarts before NEWTs to go to the pack and kill Greyback ASAP.

Or the ocean rocks Crashing into him tonight He's a paradox I'm seeing visions, am I bad? Or mad? Or wise?

"Ocean Rocks". Taylor, you're not doing anything to disprove that you're NOT MsKingBean89. I think of them having confessions at the beach in Cornwall. Remus yelling at Sirius on the same beach and spilling his thoughts out after the staying with the pack for a month. Him having an identity crisis and screaming "I don't know who I am anymore!". Later that night, Sirius telling him that he's his Moony.

What if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh Only in my mind? One slip and falling back into the hedge maze Oh what a way to die I keep recalling things we never did Messy top lip kiss How I long for our trysts

Them constantly fighting and then wanting for it to be over the next moment. Making up later.

Without ever touching his skin How can I be guilty as sin?

Now I think the next verse is from Sirius' perspective:-

I keep these longings locked In lowercase inside a vault

Sirius keeping his thoughts of Remus away from Walpurga. From the Dementors.

Someone told me There's no such thing as bad thoughts Only your actions talk

"Love is something you do"

These fatal fantasies Giving way to labored breath Taking all of me We've already done it in my head If it's make believe Why does it feel like a vow We'll both uphold somehow

Post Halloween 1976 Sirius thinking he's not gay and this is just his teenage hormones™, and wondering if HE has corrupted Remus.

What if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh Only in my mind? One slip and falling back into the hedge maze Oh what a way to die My bedsheets are ablaze I've screamed his name Building up like waves Crashing over my grave Without ever touching his skin How can I be guilty as sin?

Finally, the BRIDGE:-

What if I roll the stone away? They're gonna crucify me anyway What if the way you hold me Is actually what's holy?

I imagine this to be from Remus because of all the hate werewolves get. He's always thinking that at the end of everything, he'd still be hated for what he is.

If long suffering propriety Is what they want from me They don't know how you've haunted me So stunningly I choose you and me ... Religiously

This is Sirius because everyone thinks he's guilty immediately because of his family. He never got a trial and was sent to Azkaban. The internalised homophobia and his love for Remus scared him so much, so it can be said that Remus HAS haunted him.

So yeah, in conclusion, Taylor wrote this song about them. Thank you for reading my gibberish ily here's a cookie 🍪

[genshin-impact-updates]

Version 4.2 Quest Notices Compilation

"Animula Choragi Chapter" Story Quest Overview

Travelers who reach the required Adventure Rank and complete the prerequisite quests will be able to use a Story Key to unlock Furina's Story Quest "Animula Choragi Chapter."

The Story Quest feature is unlocked at Adventure Rank 26. Story Keys are obtained by claiming Daily Commission rewards (one Story Key is awarded for every eight Daily Commission rewards claimed).

〓Quest Start Time〓

Permanently available after the Version 4.2 update

〓Quest Unlock Criteria〓

Adventure Rank 40 or above

Complete Archon Quest Chapter IV: Act V "Masquerade of the Guilty"

New Story Unlocked - Archon Quest Chapter IV: Act V

What original sin does the God of Justice, who claims to judge the gods, herself bear... One cannot make an enemy of the divine. If the Heavenly Principles are not to be defied, the answer shouldn't be to bow one's head and wait for death. Instead, let there be a spin, a hop, and a skip. Then, let the "sinner" take a final bow.

After reaching the corresponding Adventure Rank and completing the prerequisite quests, Archon Quest Chapter IV: Act V "Masquerade of the Guilty" will appear in the Quest Menu.

(After these quests are unlocked, access the Quest Menu by: pressing "J" on PC (default settings); tapping the Quest Menu icon in the top-left corner on mobile; or pressing and holding L1 on PS5™ or PS4™ to open the shortcut wheel and select the Quest Menu icon.)

〓Quest Start Time〓

After the Version 4.2 update, Archon Quest Chapter IV: Act V "Masquerade of the Guilty" will be permanently available

〓Archon Quest Chapter IV: Act V "Masquerade of the Guilty" Unlock Criteria〓

• Reach Adventure Rank 40 or above

• Complete Archon Quest Chapter IV: Act IV "Cataclysm's Quickening"

"PlayStation", "PS5", "PS4", "DualSense", "DUALSHOCK" are registered trademarks or trademarks of Sony Interactive Entertainment Inc.

[ohmenai]

Bulky, Hulky and Oh! So chunky

...His hairy chest peeking out from a ratty, stained blue tank top, which he's gotten filthy—can't even tell if that's sweat, cum, or just the dirt of his day-to-day. It clung to his beefy frame fighting a losing battle against a belly that folded over the waistband. He lifted it, teasing, revealing that cock—fuck, fat as fuck even halfway to a lazy afternoon hard-on, thick as a Coke™  can and tempting as sin...

#aibara #aimen #aihunk #aihulk #aichunk #ailatinmen #aigayart #aigay #aimuscled #aiguys #aigayfantasy #aiayay #ohmenai #ohmenflex

[respectthepetty]

But what if Sand rejects Ray?!! I am gonna be devastated.

Anon,

SAND SHOULD REJECT RAY IF HE KNOWS WHAT IS GOOD FOR HIM!

Everyone is screaming at Nick to run far away from Boston, but this entire friend group is terrifying! I'm even yelling at cocky Top to back away from Mew before his entire life gets turned inside out. So if I'm praying Top comes to his slutty senses, know that I've already lit six candles for Sand to save himself from what Ray is about to do to him (I'm Catholic; we light candles and pray to saints. It's like speaking to a department manager for an issue instead of going directly to the supervisor).

Mew is a virginal slut (uses sex as a prize). Boston is a predatory slut (uses sex to feel superior). But Sand is dealing with a top level Slut for Christ, and we are the worst kind of slut.

We have that Christian Trauma™, so we invent new ways of sinning, then cope with it in the worst ways. The OG Slut for Christ, Cruel Intentions' Kathryn Merteuil, had a rosary with cocaine in the crucifix. We are NOT part of the problem. WE ARE THE WHOLE FUCKING PROBLEM!

We know we are messes, but we are too busy being attention whores to deal with those pesky feelings constantly gnawing at the inside of our brains telling us we are bad people.

Remember, Ray thought Sand had sex with him WHEN HE WAS DRUNK, and Ray was fine with that because when he evaluated the situation, at least Sand was attractive.

Ray thinks he deserves bad things to happen to him because he thinks he is a bad person, so being sexually assaulted by someone when he couldn't consent isn't that bad considering the guy was hot, right?

Ray doesn't think he deserves kindness. He doesn't think he deserves respect, and his friends don't give it to him. They make jokes at his expense, and call him a burden (because he is!). Which is why he hasn't gone after Mew. Mew is good. Mew is kind. Mew would never be with someone bad like Ray.

Which is why he will soak up all the love Sand is willing to give him,

just to throw it all back in Sand's face like the toxic bitch he is.

Because when you don't think you deserve good things, you will do everything to prove just how bad you are.

Ray has childhood trauma. He has Christian Trauma™. And he has money.

He is lethal.

So if y'all are upset at Dangerous Romance's Kanghan for being the biggest bully and the littlest bitch, know that Kanghan and Ray are BOTH Sluts for Christ. They have trauma, and they have money, and they will BOTH use that money to control people.

Because why else would someone hang out with a proven bad boy who has nothing going for him but his money if money wasn't involved? Ray followed Sand THREE TIMES, and each time, Sand was persuaded by money.

I haven't seen him take any money from Ray, but Sand has already set it up for Ray to believe that he can be bought, and Misery loves company, even if he has to pay for it.

And Ray will make Sand miserable.

It's the one thing we are good at.

[darthstitch]

Stork Delivery Service

Okay, so Matthew thinks he's got this whole Raven of the Dreaming business down pat, right?

What? It's been a hundred years. There was one harrowing moment where he thought that they were all gonna lose the Boss and end up with Daniel becoming the new Boss but that didn't happen, thank Christ and all His Angels (especially Michael) for that.

But hey, things worked out, right? The Boss is happily married to Hob Gadling and it's kinda sweet how those two had never seemed to have left the "honeymoon phase" what with all the cooing and flirting via poetry.

(It had the added benefit of sending Desire of the Endless into a total hissy fit because ewww not my brother ick ick ick nooooo and apparently there WAS such a thing as Brain Bleach™ which was just karma, in Matthew's considered opinion.)

Anyway!

There had been a few weird happenings in the Dreaming lately, what with Lucienne suddenly finding the Library completely upside down, for starters. Then, there was that day where everyone seemed to be suffering the worst Migraine in History and the Dreaming had collectively gone, "Yeah, nope, we're not going to be working today. Eurgh."

And then, there were a few nights where everyone just woke up craving all sorts of food. Like Matthew himself suddenly just wanted a pizza with all the toppings, including pineapple, for Chrissakes and pineapple was a mortal sin against pizza, worthy of being damned to the lowest pit of hell, okay?!

So Matthew just gets this strange compulsion, like he needed to check things out over by the Giant Rapunzel Patch™ - which, apparently, was in use by the more Fairy Tale-inclined dreams. Sure, whatever - Matthew wasn't exactly a big fan of eating his vegetables. Sorry, kids.

And he settles down by this utterly ginormous patch of rampion and finds... a baby.

A very familiar looking baby.

Look, the kid looked very much like a certain Lord of Dreams - what with the whole Snow White routine, right down to the rosebud lips in that Familiar Pout, protesting his current indignity with all his might.

Matthew manages to scrounge up the softest blanket he could find and wraps the kid up, a minor feat, what with the lack of opposable thumbs. But he did it and he flew off to the Castle with the baby, who calmed down immediately, much to Matthew's relief.

His Darkness was oddly unsurprised when Matthew deposited the kid into his arms, snuggling him close and greeting him with a: "Hello, my little love. Welcome home."

Look, Matthew could be forgiven for the incoherent: "Uh, Boss, how?!!! And what's his name?!"

Dream declined to answer the first question. But the answer to the second was, "His name is Oliver. His other father will be very glad to meet him."

Oliver, the little Prince of the Dreaming, was just as delighted to meet his Da, at least as far as they could tell with the happy gurgling and cooing.

-end-

Footnote the First: Dream is STILL refusing to explain how Oliver came to be, other than: "It is all very much my husband's fault."

Footnote the Second: Hob's only response to this is: "Welp, when two people love each other very much..."

Footnote the Third: Oliver's godparents include a Muse, one Really Old Guy, an Archangel, Death of the Endless and Rose Walker.

Footnote the Fourth: Oliver's first complete sentence was "Shaxbert yucky!" much to the delight of his other father. Look, if Dream wasn't singing him lullabies, he tended to fall asleep to Hob's infamous Shakespeare Rants™!