#Tony deserves to have Morgan

[night-night-stories-before-bed]

In exchange for two drops of blood

Warning ⚠️; Spoiler for Agatha All Along I guess. Magical baby 👶

Pairing; Tony Stark/Cult Leader!Male!Reader

Summary; You need something from Agatha and Billy, but what you have to offer in exchange makes it impossible for them to say no.

Note; listen, I am in denial okay? Give me back my coven! They all deserve to be brought back to life and live happily together as a chaotic coven!

~~~~~~~~~~~

The Witches’ Road was as you remembered it. A forest, a path and the feeling of dread filling you as you know you weren't alone. By your side, holding your hand, Tony looked around him with fascination. Ever since you introduced him to your Cult, the man had been curious about everything as it was in his nature. You loved him more just for that.

You stared at him, gaze soft and loving as Tony pointed at something with a big smile on his lips. You pulled his hand to your lips, kissing his fingers.

The duo of witches in front of you stayed silent, studying you. Agatha had pushed Billy behind her, ready to protect the last member of her coven with her life. What a broken soul. Four hundred years of pain, misery and mistakes before being given a loving coven only to lose it all before the end of the road.

Which was perfect for you.

Behind her, Billy looked at you with big curious eyes, his hands grabbing Agatha’s clothes, ready to pull her with him if he decided to run away. What a beautiful sight. Mentor and protegee ready to fight and protect each other.

- “Agatha Harkness, what a pleasure to see you once more. I see that the centuries have left you unchanged.” You said, tilting your head as the teen behind hear leaned a bit more, trying to see you better. “Well, except you found yourself a protegee.”

- “What are you doing here with Stark? I thought he was supposed to be dead.” Agatha replied, pushing back Billy behind her.

- “Ah! As if I would allow Death to keep my beloved away from me. You know me better than that, Agatha. I have bested Rio more time than any mortal can count.”

You saw something flash in her eyes. Jealousy, anger, sorrow… after all, Agatha has lost so much to Death and could never gain the power to win them back.

Your words picked Billy’s curiosity as he looked between you and Agatha. He tried to move again, but Agatha kept him behind her. You could see her hands shaking in fear which pleased you.

- “You know him? Who is he?” Billy asked, chin on her shoulder.

- “Something worse than Rio. A monster that shouldn't exist, an abomination against nature and life itself.” She replied, voice low and filled with disgust. “What do you want?”

- “Two drops of yours and Billy’s blood.”

It is Tony who answers the question, his attention now turned to the duo. His eyes are envious, possessing and you know he desires their blood more than anything else as of now. And what Tony wants, you'll give it to him. Well, you'll give him what he wants after using the blood.

- “I beg your pardon?” Agatha’s voice sounds offended while she stares at you angrily. “If that's a joke, it's not funny.”

- “It is no joke. I cannot use my blood for obvious reasons, Agatha, and I need magical blood.” You told her, raising your hand to stop her from talking. “And I come to offer you something in exchange, something neither you nor Billy can say no to. In my change for two drops of blood each I will bring back your coven, your son and Tommy.”

Your revelation left the duo in shock. Agatha was staring at you, wondering if you were lying or serious while Billy’s mouth hung open and his eyes filled with hope and joy. For only two drops of blood, they could win back all that was lost.

It was too beautiful to be true, and yet it was.

As murderous and cruel as you could be, you never lied or broke a deal. It was in your powers to undo Death and Fate’s will, even tho it would leave you magically drained. But for Tony’s happiness? It was all worth it.

You shared a look with Tony. The genius seemed so hopeful and you knew you weren't leaving without the blood. No. Tony was going to have what he wanted, no matter the price.

- “You can do that?” Billy’s voice breaks the silence.

- “Yes. I've already started the procedure to bring them back, I just need you to fill out your part of the deal.”

Agatha doesn't give the teen any chance to speak and grabs him by the collar before pulling him away. The boy fights back until she whispers something and he caves, following her. You can only watch them speak, sometimes they would stare at you.

By your side Tony grew nervous and you calmed him with soft kissed on his head and whispers of promised that no matter what, you'll get their blood. You'll give him what he desires the most.

Its something you can't give him any more, all the magic and rituals you did taking it away from you. Agatha was right, you are an abomination against Nature. That is why you cannot die or reproduce.

That why you cannot give life.

That is why you cannot give Tony the child he so desires.

After what felt like an hour, Agatha and Billy walked back toward you. They didn't need to speak, you could see it on their face that they were agreeing with your deal. After collecting their blood, Tony held the phial against his chest as you filled your part of the deal. The tears in Billy's eyes, as you began chanting, told you you were doing the right thing.

You almost collapsed as you summoned their dead loved one back to life. But you didn't. Tony’s arm wrapped around your waist helped you stay on your feet as you watched the reunion. Billy and Tommy hugged tightly as the rest of the coven did. Agatha was crying, holding her son tightly in her arms. You could hear and see them laugh and cry as they embraced each other. They were sisters in the craft after all, their found family one once more.

Silently, you and Tony walked away, allowing the witches to celebrate their reunion only for you to collapse the second you were home.

You woke up naked, arms wrapped around Tony’s waist and your nose buried against his side. Above your head, you heard the soft cooing of a baby. Blinking, you listened as Tony whispered sweet words to the baby he cradled against his chest, his free hand caressing your back.

- “Tony?” You called, voice harsh and mind heavy. How long have you been out? When did you give Tony that baby? “What… when…”

You sighed as soft fingers brushed your neck and you looked up, seeing Tony stare at you tenderly as if you had hung up the moon and the stars for him.

- “You are back, finally. You've been out of your mind for the past week, as you thought. You got me worried, you know? While I can never thank you enough for Morgan, I didn't want to lose you.”

You groaned as you sat in bed, resting your cheek on Tony’s shoulder. In his arm, a newborn baby. She was looking at you two with big blue eyes, the same eyes as Tony. She also had his hair.

Yes.

A daughter. You remembered now, gifting him what he had dreamed so much about. You suspected Tony had dream-walked and saw his other self with a baby, but your man had wanted one so much, convinced you'll give him one somehow.

And you did.

- “Morgan… she is perfect. She looks just like you, Tony, and she will break many hearts.” You whispered, raising a finger and stroking her cheek.

The baby cooed again with what seemed like a smile. She was beautiful and healthy.

- “Yes, she is. Thank you. Thank you for everything.” Tony told you, kissing your forehead and face. “I love you two 3000.”

You chuckled softly. Tony loved saying that recently, maybe something he heard in his dreams. You closed your eyes after telling him you loved him too and sighed as you felt his cheek resting on top of your head. After everything, you were happy and felt fulfilled. You had Tony by your side and now you formed a happy family. A family you'll protect no matter the price.

[hurtspideyparker]

Thinking about restless spirit Tony Stark who just can't move on to the after life.

The first thing he does once he realizes he's an apparition is check on Pepper and Morgan. True to their word, they're okay. He watches them for a bit but feels this deep unrest pulling him away from the quaint home he yearns for.

There's a deep wrongness within him, some unfinished business that draws him back to New York.

He fears for a moment that it's Peter- but no, it can't be him. He'll be in Massachusetts right now, attending MIT as a freshman. There isn't a doubt in Tony's mind that his little genius is already making his mark.

Still, he follows the pull of his spirit to some dingy Queens' apartment he's never been to before.

It's deep in the night yet the apartment is empty. He looks around a bit, his body phasing through anything he attempts to touch.

It's small and dirty. There's old coffee cups on the desk, alongside a couple GED manuals. Great, the universe thinks he has unfinished business with some broke high school dropout.

He's pondering how he must have screwed up this kid's life; was it the Avengers, Stark Industries? Maybe his old playboy lifestyle is finally coming to bite him in the ass.

His contemplation is cut short by the sound of the window cracking open.

It strikes Tony for a moment that maybe he's stuck on Earth to be a guardian angel, Iron Man living on as some invisible protector against whatever creep is sneaking into people's windows. It doesn't make much sense considering the whole non-corporeal thing, but he still stiffens like he's ready for a fight.

He sees a man- no, a thing? A creature maybe, or an alien. Even in death Tony can't escape being one of Earth's mightiest heroes.

The creature is shrouded in darkness, something slick and bald crawling inside the room with terrifying grace and silence. It shuts the window with a soft kssssh as the seal is formed.

And then it pulls off its mask.

There, with the click of a table lamp, glows the face of Peter Parker.

He's definitely older now; sturdier shoulders, a rugged set of his jaw, hair tamed to something semi-professional. Still present, though, are those gentle brown eyes.

Nothing makes sense right now. Why is his kid here, in this apartment? Surely May wouldn't allow this. How many tenant laws does this place break? Where are his little sidekick friends? And on what planet would Peter Parker ever need a GED?

Tony's getting angry now, watching Peter move around the tiny space. He changes out of his costume and into pajamas. That spider suit isn't Tony's suit, it looks like cheap craft store fabric.

The kid opens a small freezer and pulls out the singular bag of peas that reside in there, pressing it against his ribs while he goes to pop some bread into a toaster.

Tony takes note of every glimpse he gains into Peter's life. Empty cabinets when he reaches for a jar of peanut butter. A fridge housing nothing but condiments and energy drinks when he goes to grab jam. A drawer with two spoons, no forks, and a paring knife which he pulls out and sticks into the strawberry jam jar just as the toast pops.

This is all so wrong.

Tony's outrage is coming to a rolling boil. Peter deserves the world- he was gonna give him the world. He couldn't wait to send Peter to MIT and show him off as his protégé. Tony was gonna fund his projects, tease him about pretty girls, maybe even see him step back from Spider-Man and act like a normal college kid. He wanted to see him flourish and grow up. It was all he could think about when Peter turned to dust between his fingers; he should be goofing off with his friends at a mathletes meeting, or building Legos, not fighting an intergalactic war.

Tony couldn't even conceive how much went wrong to end up here.

Alone. Broke. No school. He didn't even have his Stark suit to protect him. Everything that made him him has been stripped, leaving him in this shallow box with scuffed paint and hollow cabinets.

Tony can feel the violent rage burn deep in his spirit as he thinks about it.

This is why he's here. He can't let his boy live like this, wasting his potential to be some villain's punching bag. Where is everyone? Does no one care enough to stop this? The fury that builds in Tony is dangerous, wondering why a dead man is the only one who cares about the teen's life right now.

Without thinking Tony's hand reaches for the GED textbook, a mocking piece of work that laughs in his face, and throws it at the stupid little kitchenette that's mere feet from the bed.

It sails across the room with surprising speed before it's met with a thunk against Peter's palm, hand reaching out to catch it from the air before it collided with the toaster.

Oh.

Peter sets the book down and immediately picks up his web shooters, eyes darting furiously to every corner of the tiny apartment.

"Who's there?"

Tony steps a little closer but Peter's eyes just look right past him.

"C'mon Pete, c'mon. I'm here, I'm right here."

Tony looks for something else to grab. He swats at a hopefully empty coffee cup on the wooden desk, but his hand just passes right through it.

"Shit," the hope Tony felt waivers slightly and he tries again.

Nothing.

Peter is searching his apartment now, making sure the window is secure and feeling around every crevice, bookshelves, under the bed, in the top corners of the room. Searching for something nefarious, tech maybe.

Tony hits the cup, again and again, frustration building up and up and up till-

The cup flies across the room, Tony and Peter's eyes track its movements as it bounces against the ground and rolls to a stop.

"Shit," Peter breathes out.

Tony walks up to Peter now, standing before him.

"Figure it out. Think kid, you've met aliens, gods, magicians, surely ghosts aren't too far fetched."

Peter closes his eyes. His posture straightens, Tony watches him take a deep breath in as the hairs on his bare arms stand on end.

Peter's eyes blink open, and they're looking directly at Tony.

Tony smirks, "that's it."

Peter turns around and picks the cup off the ground, running to his desk with it and ripping a piece of lined paper out of a notebook and scribbling furiously on it.

Tony walks over as Peter places the cup in the center of the paper.

On the left is the word YES in bold print, NO on the right.

"Okay, okay okay. So, move the cup if, if you wanna talk. Um, is there someone in the room right now?"

Tony reaches for the cup, an intense glare as his fingertips graze it gently. It shifts minutely towards the YES.

"Shit! Shit. Sorry, whew. Okay. Are you friendly?"

Tony moves it to YES again.

"Are you a, um. Person? Like not an alien?"

YES.

"Are you wearing tech, invisibility suit or your molecules are uncalibrated or maybe it's a portal thing like, multiverse shit is happening again, a mirror universe! Oh, maybe a..."

Tony let's a frustrated sign. The kid is too practical, logical. He needs to think like a non-genius.

"... could be. Or, or maybe you're just a ghost-"

Tony perks up and immediately swats the cup, causing it to fly off the desk towards the YES.

"Oh. Oh that's... kinda normal. Or maybe really weird? I mean... I certainly have some ghosts in my past."

Peter picks the cup up and puts it back on the desk.

"Do I know you?"

YES.

"You said you were friendly, and I'm not getting any danger tingles from you. I'm gonna start with people I know are dead, cuz I just really hope you're not a... new ghost. Um. M-May?"

The boy's voice cracks on the word and Tony freezes. May is dead? Tony starts to fear that things are a lot more wrong than he previously thought.

Peter's breath catches and Tony realizes he's waiting, dying for an answer, and quickly pokes the cup towards NO.

Peter's shoulders sag.

"Uncle Ben?"

NO.

"T- Mr. Stark?"

Tony grins, "now we're getting somewhere!"

YES.

Tony is going to have his work cut out for him, but being here with Peter just feels right.

Peter breaks out into a matching smile.

"Wow, okay. I think I'm gonna need more paper," he says as the boy gets to work making a more complex system than YES and NO.

Tony watches on proudly, reminiscing about all the great Peter was and all the great he still is, despite his situation. Whatever this is, they'll figure it out.

Together.

[idk-bruh-20]

Tony: Once upon a time you went to bed. The end.

Morgan, who has her third eye opened: That's a horrible story.

Russos:

THAT'S A HORRIBLE STORY. DID YOU NOT HEAR HER? SHE SAID-

AVENGERS ENDGAME 2019 | dir. Anthony Russo; Joe Russo

[critters-crossing]

The forgotten child

Pairing's : fem! reader x peter parker, tony stark daughter! x tony stark, tony stark daughter! x peter parker

Warnings: really sad angst, jealousy, daddy issues, neglect, lmk if i missed anything! :)

Summary: dad of the year award? surely isn't going too him

a/n : I know the gif doesn't really match the theme of this story I just really liked it. I did not reread this so please ignore any grammar mistakes. Also, I'm not sure if i wrote a panic attack correctly but I wrote based on what their like for me. hope you all enjoy!

you really tried not to become the forgotten child, always tried you're very hardest to live up to your father expectations, trying to make him proud in hope's he'd show some form of attention.

always studying to get straight a's even through countless anxiety attacks from fear of failing and disappointing your father.

all you ever wanted was reassurance, and if you ever got lucky enough a "You did a good job" after getting a high score on a test.

but it never came, it would forever be something you longed to hear. he would usually just mumble a small, quiet "congrats" as his mind stayed focused on his work and his eyes stuck to the blueprint laid out on the table Infront of him.

you always tried you're best not to feel jealous whenever your father held morgan, you had no ressentiment towards morgan whatsoever, in fact she was the one that kept you smiling most days. although you couldn't help but feel your heart tighten from jealousy as you watched them have daddy daughter time

you really did try you're best to be happy for your younger sister, but you couldn't ignore that aching feeling. all you wanted was the attention she had that your heart ached so desperately for, but it never came despite your countless attempts.

you we're astound to hear a new avenger had been recruited, you always enjoyed meeting new people. mainly because they gave you attention they didn't even know you craved.

you always seeked to see the best in people, no matter what the circumstances we're. including peter parker, there was nothing wrong with him, he wasn't a bad person in fact quite a good one, and if you weren't so envious of him you possibly could have been friends with the boy. but you watched how peter and your father clicked so easily becoming like father and son.

it made the knots in your stomach tighten as you watched them spend time together, it made you feel as if something was wrong with you, like maybe if you tried harder or changed, he'd give you the attention you deserved.

your mother, pepper always said he loved you just as much as he loved morgan or even peter, but you knew the truth as much as you ignored it you knew. but oh, how you wish he did.

"Mom, I'm home" you called out knowing if father was home, he wouldn't answer you. after not receiving an answer, you decided to look through the house in search of your mother, after a couple of minutes searching you still hadn't found her and decided she probably went out and took morgan with her. you heard talking but it sounded like your father, and peter?? "what's peter doing here?" you wondered. you decided to peak you're head through the door and saw peter and tony standing with their backs faced away from you, working on some upgrades for peter's suit.

"you're a pretty great kid peter" tony told him as he smiled at him patting his shoulder. a wave of jealously hit your chest as you watched them, your throat tightening. "Thank you, Mr. stark," peter smiled cheekily as your fingers clenched into a fist at your side.

"Becoming like my son."

once those words left Tony's lips, your mouth went dry, your head aching as you backed away from the door as quietly as possible, you're breathing picking up rapidly. you quickly made your way to your room, tears forming in your eyes, you walked into your room and shut the door softly as your hands started shaking as you paced around your room quickly, trying to stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks. you never liked crying, it made you feel weak.

you're breathing came out in heavy gasp as you struggled to breathe. you leaned against the wall coughing as you squeezed your eyes shut as you tried to stop the words from replaying in your mind.

"Becoming like my son" continuously echoed through your head as soft sobs left your lips, you didn't want to feel this way, envious of what your father and peter had. it's not peter's fault about what your father feels about you so why hold him accountable. he'll never love you, at least not like he loves peter. you can't figure out why? you always tried you're best to impress him, but nothing seemed to be enough for him, it's like he didn't even care about your existence.

you stumbled over to your bed, taking deep breathes as your body grew exhausted from crying. you plopped down on your bed tiredly as you snuggled up against your blanket that was where your pillows we're supposed to be, you grabbed a pillow and hugged it too sleep.

you didn't want to put the blame on peter because it wasn't his fault, but a little piece of your heart blamed peter parker.

a/n: CLIFFHANGER!?!? I decided to leave it for now because I haven't come up with an ending that I thought fit the way I wanted so if you guys have ideas, please let me know. reblog's are highly appreciated, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!

[muddyorbsblr]

gestures & rain checks

See my full list of works here!

pre-story author's note: Yes I am very aware that it's been a solid month since Valentine's Day. Yes I am still posting this 🫡

Summary: It feels like your friends are getting plucked away from you one by one as their respective (or in Nat's case prospective) partners make grand gestures to ask them to be their Valentine.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 4.8k

Warning/s: language (nope still not sorry, Rogers); mentions of alcohol; tooth-rotting fluff; gun use [let me know if I missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: Morgan being a precious beb; himbo!Thor hours; lowkey sad Reader hours; chaotic group chat vibes in the end

You always had a distaste for this day. Valentine's Day. To you, it was the one day a year that you would do everything in your power not to step outside because it reeked of flowers and chocolate marked up to the heavens for merchants to take advantage of last minute gift shoppers hoping to make a gesture big enough that their crush would let them score at the end of the night. Or guys buying extravagant and ridiculously large arrangements to make amends for wronging their partner as if a 10-foot tall teddy bear was gonna magically press some Undo button of him going on Hinge or Tinder and talking up a dozen other girls on the side.

There was one year that you let slip around Nat and Wanda that this day "smelled like a cemetery" with all the bouquets that bombarded you the second you exited the perimeter of the Compound. Hell, the second you left the main section that housed you and the rest of the Avengers. And you stood by that opinion stubbornly, mostly because you'd only ever witnessed flowers being given when someone was desperately trying to glue back together the pieces of a severely damaged relationship.

And also because no one had ever given you flowers in your entire life. Or chocolates. Or a teddy bear. All your past relationships were with men who were still mentally and emotionally boys that believed emojis and gifs sufficed and were as good as the real thing. Nary a single soul had ever actually spent a lick of time or effort to give you something that told you they deserved your time and effort in turn.

And after so many years of being barely an afterthought, the day just felt like this entity that you resented to an irrational degree, where all you wanted was to lay in bed and wait it out until the clock struck 12 and it was February 15th. Then you could go on a hunt for all the overpriced chocolate that suddenly got their prices slashed by 50% or more.

That was the plan again for this year, had it not been for both Nat and Wanda barging in to your apartment and practically dressing you up like you were their own life-sized definitely seen some better days Barbie doll. "Come on, we can go and have a Galentine's Day 2. Maybe hit up a club and get some free drinks…" the assassin trailed off, zipping up your dress and playfully swatting your ass to nudge you forward. "March on, soldier."

The common area was nearly bare and eerily quiet when you all got there, which made perfect sense considering that most of your teammates who were happily committed to someone were off spending their day together, probably executing their own personal twists on those cliched gestures of adoration. Knowing Tony, that would probably consist of a two-storey tall stuffed bunny or a lavish new vacation house as a nice private little getaway spot for him and Pepper when they wanted to have a date night.

Only Morgan and Shaun were at the big dining table by the kitchen, the little girl working on bracelets with the martial artist nursing a cup of coffee while he handed her beads to add to her work. "Whaddup, Ten Rings…Baby Stark," you greeted them, ruffling his hair and pressing a kiss to the top of your goddaughter's head. "What're you two up to this fine completely ordinary day?"

"Oof, I take it you're gonna be spending the day watching a bunch of couples be all extra lovey dovey just like me?" You threw him a look, squinting your eyes at him that had him throwing his hands in the air in surrender. "No need to mentally squish my head, Y/N, we're on the same side, I swear," he chuckled, scooting over to the other seat so you could sit next to Morgan. "How about this, karaoke later tonight? Just us and anyone else that doesn't have a date with dinner and co--" You swatted his arm to get him to stop talking, not so subtly signaling in the little girl's direction. "I mean…adult balloons?"

"Wait how come you have special balloons?" Morgan asked, looking up from her activity book and earning barely stifled chortles from both Nat and Wanda. "Why can't I play with them? I like balloons."

You leaned back in your seat, making a motion with your hands as if you were wiping them clean of the whole conversation. "I'm not helping you out of this one, buddy."

He scratched the back of his head, obviously backed into the corner with his own words. "Eeeeeh…put a pin in that and ask me again when you can order a beer, Baby Stark."

The child pouted at both of you, slumping down in her place at the table and slipping back on her princess pink headphones before focusing all her attention on her activity book again, grumbling something about how grownups shouldn't have conversations around her if they didn't want her to ask questions. Valid enough point, but you still weren't going to be the one to give her her first lesson in Sex Ed class a good decade ahead of time.

"Anyways…" Shaun poked at your side, calling your attention back to him. "Karaoke, ladies? We can pick up Katy and Wong before we head over and sing some Disney duets and gorging ourselves on shots and nachos--"

"Hold up, Wong?" You all turned your attention to Stephen, who'd just walked in to the common area. "This I gotta see. You guys have room for one more?"

"Sure thing, as long as you use your sling ring to help us get into Tony's private stash," you quipped, taking a sip of your coffee. "There's no way I'm getting through this day stone-cold sober."

"Or we could go for the really hard stuff and break into Thor's stash of mead from Asgard before he depletes his supply." He showcased the ring in question with a wiggle of his fingers. "Just a portal away."

"I like the way you think, Strange."

"You can all cease your scheming to pilfer my liquor, my friends," Thor's voice boomed into the area, a bounce in his step as he made his way to the coffee pot. "I would happily supply you all with two barrels if that would be enough for your gathering?"

"That's perfect, Thunder. Thanks." You started to tuck into the breakfast plate served by the Compound kitchen staff, mumbling your next question to the blond god. "What've you got planned with Jane for today?"

"Ah." A wide grin stretched across his face at the mention of his girlfriend, the sight both warming your heart and pinching it at the same time. A bittersweet reminder that in the midst of romantic plans with sentimental or grand gestures, your plans involved getting shit-faced with your fellow single friends. Plus Wanda and probably Vision. "Well, I have employed the aid of Wilson to order an ornate bouquet of Jane's favorite flowers which should arrive this morning. Then for lunch I shall prepare her a meal."

"Lunch?" Wanda questioned, tilting her head to the side. "Forgive me if I overstep, my friend, but aren't the romantic plans usually made for dinner?"

"Well, yes…but Jane has graciously agreed to adjusting our schedule for this day so that I may spend the time after lunch aiding my brother in a gesture of his own." A lump formed in your throat at the words. "It seems he wishes to get into the spirit of the holiday, and I am simply ecstatic that he came to me asking for a helping hand."

"I asked nothing of you, you over-muscled oaf," you heard the raven-haired god call out from the main entrance, two large packages hovering a few inches above the ground blanketed with a glow of green from his magic. "You volunteered when you imposed yourself in my space and hovered over my phone."

"Pfft, semantics," Thor waved off, already making his way over to Loki so that he could do some more apparently unnecessary volunteer work. "Are the flowers in one of your parcels?"

"I like flowers!" Morgan chirped from her seat, bouncing in place with bright excited eyes. "Prince Loki, can I help? Please?"

He let out an exaggerated sigh, a trace of a fond, amused smile betraying his facade. "Very well, little Stark. Come along."

Your goddaughter squealed, skipping over to Thor and placing her tiny hand in his. "Uncle Barbie, tell me who his princess is?" He leaned down to whisper the answer in her ear, making her sprint in place with even more excitement. "I promise I won't say a word."

"Barbie? Like your doll, little Lady Stark?" You could practically see the wheels turning in Loki's head from learning about the nickname.

Morgan nodded her head vigorously. "Auntie Y/N came up with it. She calls him Macho Barbie." She proceeded to talk about how you came to give the blond Asgardian the nickname that bizarrely stuck to him more than "Point Break" ever did, said god looking like he already dreaded the coming days -- maybe even years -- now that his brother knew that little tidbit of information.

Once they'd all made their way up the stairs and you could no longer hear the little girl's chipper tone, realization sat heavy in your heart from her reaction to whatever Thor whispered to her just a few seconds ago. Whoever it was that Loki was going to make this grand gesture for, it was someone that Morgan knew enough to the point that she couldn't contain her excitement finding out who the woman was.

It was someone in SHIELD. Maybe even someone in the Compound.

"You good, Babes?" Nat's tone was cautious, approaching you like you were a wounded animal, teeth bared and ready to pounce if she so much as breathed wrong.

You answered with a terse nod of your head. "There is absolutely no fucking way I'm getting through today sober."

"Y/N, dude, I'm sor--"

Bang

"What the fuck?" All eyes grew wide at the sound, your body stiffening as another shot rang out, reverberating throughout the common area. "FRIDAY? Threat assessment," you called out, already readying yourself for combat once whoever was outside made their way to you in the compound.

"No threats have been detected," the AI answered simply. "There seems to be no living target for the gunman."

You could only manage to repeat your words. "What the fuck?" Shot after shot rang out, an interval of three to five seconds between them. Each deafening bang making you flinch, your head spinning with possible explanations on why FRIDAY didn't deem the supposed attacker as a threat. "Where's the target then?"

"Shots are being fired at the training area, by the track field, Agent Y/L/N." You all started to make your way to the area, everyone still on high alert despite FRIDAY's findings.

"Y/N?!" You shared a look with everyone else in the room at the sound of Loki's voice calling out for you, the god looking frantic as he appeared at the top of the main staircase, a sigh of relief escaping him once he saw you standing at the bottom. "You're alright," he exhaled, hurriedly making his way down. The quickening pace of the gunshots had him squaring his shoulders, stepping in front of you and marching toward the sound.

"We've handled way worse than gunfire, Laufeyson, you don't have to lead the defense," you told him with a touch more bite to your tone than you intended, irrational jealousy coursing through you knowing what he was preparing for before he started charging down the stairs. You sidestepped him and started walking toward the training area, brows furrowing together when you saw that from where you stood, the marks from the bullets digging into the ground where forming some sort of shape.

"It's a message…" Wanda mused, angling her head to and fro to see if she could get the whole picture from the ground. "I'm going up, I wanna see what's worth risking Pepper's wrath with all the lawn work she has to commission now." She held her hand out to you, wordlessly offering to take you up with her, an offer that you gladly took, clapping your hand over hers, both of you giggling as your feet lifted off the ground.

Once you two had risen high enough, it was clear what the message was. The shots had been positioned so that the markings would take on the shape of a heart, and the ongoing shots were creating initials. "N…" you read along, barely able to contain your excitement when you saw that the next letter was an R. "Natasha Romanoff!" you yelled out, the assassin's eyes lighting up with a mix of giddiness and curiosity as she tried to look at where the gunshots could've been coming from.

You did your best to turn your head, trying to see who was behind the gesture, kicking your feet in the air once you saw the gunman. "What? Who is it, Y/N?"

"It's Barnes," you squeaked, giving Rogers a reckless wave when you caught sight of him jogging toward all of you with a megaphone in hand.

"Natasha Romanoff," Bucky's voice boomed through the speaker system, making the usually cool and collected former Russian spy put a hand over her mouth to hide the way she was steadily turning pink from how flustered she was. "I know I have a long way to go to make up for how we first met, but I think you're swell and I'd like to try starting it off with maybe dinner tonight?" Both you and Wanda squealed and held each other tight mid-air watching her nod her answer, running over to her once your feet touched the ground again.

"You two won't be pissed if I take a rain check for tonight, will you?" she cautioned, still a wistful tone in her voice from processing what was happening.

"Absolutely not, you go enjoy your date. More drinks to go around and all that," you told her with the biggest smile. "But tomorrow night we're all staying at my place and you're giving us a full report."

"And remember to wear the red lacy underwear," Wanda teased with a comical wiggle of her eyebrows, earning her a poke to the ribs from both of you.

Nat pulled away from the two of you, walking back toward the indoor gym with Steve walking alongside her, starting to talk about how his best friend had been trying to work up the nerve to ask her out since he got sworn in to the team nearly a year ago. From the sound of the conversation, it seemed that Rogers was divulging some information that Barnes probably swore him to secrecy not so long ago.

"And then there were seven," Shaun spoke up, walking toward  you and the sorceress and clapping a hand on each of your shoulders. "Thor came through and left the barrels in the kitchen for us."

You were about to start talking about the food arrangements when the sight of Wanda's husband flying toward you all with a bouquet of camellias and hydrangeas in his hand. "Wanda, my love, I owe you my deepest apologies."

"Whatever for, Vis?" She broke away from you and Shaun to greet the synthezoid, placing her hands on his upper arms as he pulled her in for a chaste kiss.

"It did not occur to me that you might have wanted to make plans for today until Mr Stark had gone into detail of his own itinerary today for his wife," he explained, handing her the bouquet. "Unfortunately I cannot procure a reservation for us tonight, but I still wish to do something for you. Would you allow me the honor of making you a meal and perhaps watching a movie in the private theater?"

You and Shaun gripped each other's hands like you were high schoolers watching their best friend get asked out on their first big date, shaking and pushing each other over the sweetness of the gesture. "I don't need fancy restaurants or pretty flowers, Vis. Getting to spend time with you, especially after everything that's happened to us, is more than enough. I just need you."

The Sokovian turned back to face you and Shaun, a touch of guilt in her expression. "Rain check? I'll bring extra snacks tomorrow night to make up for it?"

"Don't worry about it, Babes," you reassured her, both you and the martial artist waving off her worries. "Enjoy your evening."

The couple have you a curt nod and a smile before happily flying away hand in hand back to their apartment.

"And then there were five," you and Shaun said in unison, walking back to the common area to load up those barrels that Thor left for tonight's 'festivities'. When you got to the kitchen area, Morgan was adorably sitting atop one of the barrels in question, feet happily swinging in the air with a big smile on her face.

"Off the goods, little Stark, we're not risking you getting drunk your dad's gonna kill us," Shaun said in a panic, already lifting the little girl up and off the barrel and making her squeal and giggle as she giddily exclaimed "I'm flying!".

"If you really think that she can get drunk from osmosis, we have a lot to talk about, sweet little summer child," you joked, walking up to one barrel and starting to push it toward the garage. "Think you can use that ancient mystical ring magic for makeshift wheels so we don't bust out our lungs lugging this all the way to your truck?"

"I can assist you, darling." Your skin bristled at the sound of Loki's voice, taking every ounce of strength you had to not stiffen or recoil at his use of the word. He was only saying it out of habit. Probably a remnant of his upbringing as a prince on Asgard.

He didn't mean it the way you wanted -- more than anything -- for him to mean it.

"No need, Laufeyson, I've got it from here," Strange butted in, conjuring an energy shield with his magic that he slid under the barrels, starting to wheel them toward the garage. "Carry on. Oh and friendly advice, man to god? Your future girlfriend, you know, the one you're making this big gesture for? She might not appreciate you calling other women 'darling', so I highly recommend kicking the habit while it's still early. Avoiding future battles and all."

The god sucked his teeth, the action causing his jaw to clench and sending your thoughts someplace they had no business being. You had no business thinking about another woman's man that way, no matter how hot he was.

"I will remember that. Thank you, Strange," he said softly, making his way back up the stairs.

"Thanks for the save," you muttered, opening the door to the garage for the sorcerer to guide the barrels through. "Don't think I could've gotten away with being on Bitch Mode with him a second time today. Not like I can help it, though. Some lucky Midgardian bitch is gonna be his by the end of the night."

"Pretty sure you're the only woman I know that considers being Laufeyson's girlfriend a good thing."

"Yeah, Y/N, like I know he's on our side and everything but most days he still has me on edge. Like passing him on a bad day's gonna get me a stab in the ribs, not a death glare like normal people," Shaun concurred, nudging your shoulder to hopefully stop your lamenting before you got in too deep. Again.

"I'm really down bad, huh," you sighed, letting out a little yip when a portal to the dark dimension appeared just a few feet in front of you. "The fuck--"

"Hey Strange," a reverberating ethereal voice called out from the portal, and then a tall woman with platinum hair with beauty that you could only describe as 'dark celestial' stepped out. Her eyes trained on the sorcerer next to you. "Heard that today's something of a holiday in this dimension. Figured it might be a good idea to stop by and maybe you could show me around your uh…" She turned to you and Shaun, both your jaws slack on the ground. "What's this place called again?"

"Avengers Compound?" Shaun said at the same time that you blurted out, "New York?"

"Compound York?" She raised an eyebrow at the two of you, amusement coloring her face as she gave you both a once over.

"Eherm…no," you answered her, chuckling nervously and shifting your weight between your feet. "This structure here is Avengers Compound, which is in Upstate New York. New York is a city, but also a region…and a state…?" you drifted off, already feeling a pinch in your head from trying to explain the best you could. You looked over to Shaun. "The more I try finding the words to explain, the more I realize how complicated it actually is. Save me."

Stephen stepped forward. "How about I just take you on a tour around New York, then?" His face stretched out into a wide grin, clearly unable to hide his giddiness over the knowledge that she crossed dimensions to be with him today.

"Is that…New York the city, the region, or the state?"

"The city. New York, New York. There's a whole song about it and everything I can play it for you in the car." He proceeded to drape his arm around the dark sorceress, leading her to his car further down the expansive garage.

"Your little human friend is right, things here are complicated. Downright confusing." She looked back at you and Shaun again as they walked away, hand in hand. "It was nice meeting you both! Stephen speaks highly of you all," she called out, her majestic voice echoing throughout the area.

"You're really pretty!" you blurted out in response, causing her voice to melt into a chuckle, telling her partner how she found you 'adorable'. You threw your head back and groaned toward the ceiling. "I'm a fucking dork."

"At least you're an adorable dork," Shaun shot back, nudging your shoulder and lightly touching the back of your head to get you facing forward again. His phone chimed with a text notification. "Katy. Her shift's over, she said she'll get us a room for eight. I'm texting her now to get a smaller one." He held up his hand, palm facing you. "And then there were four?"

You sighed, clapping your hand against his, your friend giving you a reassuring squeeze once you did. "And then there were four." You jerked your head toward the apartments. "I'll just go change into something that involves 'eating pants' and I'll meet you down here in ten."

The walk back up to your apartment wasn't that long, but it still felt like it with how quickly you slipped back into your lamenting over how your friends had such an eventful day today. Nat had her very public grand gesture. Wanda had her husband trying to cook human food in the name of spending time with her. Strange had his girlfriend literally rip a hole between dimensions to get here.

"And all I have waiting for me are two barrels of mead and karaoke microphones," you muttered, walking through your front door and begrudgingly unzipping your dress from the back. You were just about to half-stomp your way to your closet when something on your bed caught your eye.

Three shiny roses lined with gold, tied together with a gold ribbon at the foot of the bed. A large heart-shaped box of chocolates at the center. And a little teddy bear dressed as a bee with red antennas that had hearts at the end, at its fluffy little feet was an embroidered message. "Bee mine".

"What theeeee fu--"

"Y/N," an all too familiar voice called out from behind you. The air left your lungs at the sight of Loki in a form-fitting forest green button-down tucked into onyx black slacks, tucking his hair behind his ears before smoothing his hands over his shirt. "You're early--"

"What're you doing--Was this you?" you babbled, gesturing at the gifts on your bed. For a second, your heart beat erratically, the thought that maybe this was for you, before reality and logic sunk in. "Okay I think I know what's happening…"

"You do?"

"Yeah, you got the wrong apartment. Gimme a minute to change and I can help you move all this over to--"

The rest of your words died in a little squeak at the back of your throat, the god closing the distance between you two with a few long strides, framing your face in his hands and placing a tender fleeting kiss to your lips.

"Those tokens of my affection are exactly where they belong, little mortal," he murmured against you, tracing up the bridge of your nose with his lips until he pressed a kiss to your forehead. "As am I."

You let out a shaky breath, fighting against the urge to melt in the god's embrace as he snaked his hands around your waist. "The gesture your brother mentioned this morning…this?" He proceeded to press kisses down the side of your face, his warm exhale as he whispered 'yes' into your skin making you light-headed. "This is for me?" you gasped out, whatever was remaining of your logical brain smacking the rest of you with how stupid a question that was.

"Who else would it be for, darling?" He pressed a kiss to your jaw, tightening his arms around you and pressing your body against his. "There is no other in this or any other Realm that could have captured my heart so completely." He kissed the corner of your jaw, making his way down the side of your neck, holding you tighter to keep you up when your knees finally buckled from the sensation. "I did this for you, because I wish to ask something of you. That you become mine as much as I am yours."

"M-Mine?" you stammered. "Y-You're mine?" Since when? How come you didn't get this particular memo? Could've saved you a lot of turmoil and nights spent alone staring up at the ceiling trying and failing to hypnotize yourself out of being into him.

He kissed the tip of your nose, resting his forehead against yours. "I have always been yours, darling."

Your hands traveled up the length of his arms, like you were grounding yourself and trying to tell yourself that this was real. He was really here and he was telling you the words you wanted more than anything to hear for who even knew how long at this point.

He's here, you thought to yourself. And he's mine.

There was only one word that you could muster up in that moment. "Yes." I've always been yours, too.

Karaoke Dreamin' on Such a Winter's Day group chat

myfirstnameisagent: Don't kill me but…rain check?

busboy10: Are you kidding me, Y/N?? You said you'd be down in 5 minutes tops and we're gonna meet up with Katy.

nromanoff: Sweet, now you're gonna have a story to tell tomorrow night, too.

myfirstnameisagent: Actually about that…rain check on tomorrow night, too? I'm kinda not there right now…

busboy10: There?? What do you mean "There"?? How'd you get out the Compound without me seeing you? Or whoever the hot date you're ditching me for is?

imjustwong: Where is everybody? We ordered nachos.

myfirstnameisagent: Yeah…I'm not in the Compound…or in New York…any of the "New York"s. Might not be for the next week. Maybe more. The three of you better not drink all the mead in one go.

busboy10: ??????

thevision: Agent Y/L/N, my wife is showing many signs of distress over her inability to contact you. Your phone seems to be going straight to voicemail.

thewanda: Y/N WHERE ARE YOU I HEARD A BANG FROM YOUR APARTMENT ARE YOU OKAY??

myfirstnameisagent: Babes, I'm fine. That was just the Bifrost.

thewanda: EXCUSE ME??

nromanoff: BABES WHAT--

pointbreakbarbie: My friends, I heard the Bifrost be summoned near Lady Y/N's abode. Is there an emergency? Must I make my way to Asgard to assist?

myfirstnameisagent: Thor your brother said if he finds you here I have permission to stab you, don't even fucking think about it.

thewanda: I REPEAT. EXCUSE ME???

busboy10: Y/N are you in Asgard?? With Loki??

myfirstnameisagent: Yes. And yes. See you in two weeks.

thewanda: He better use that healing magic on your legs so you don't walk funny.

A/N: It took me a whole month to write this because real life was trying TKO me in the work department and also I got sucked in to the worlds of Hello Kitty Island Adventure, Disney Dreamlight Valley, and Delicious World and I've been too weak to even attempt time management 🤣

I'm working on stuff tho I swear it 🫡 Horny bitches cuts are in progress, stories are in progress…lots of progress 😅😅

Also for reference, this was the lil stuffed bear that Loki gave Reader:

and the roses looked like this:

'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @lovingchoices14 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th  @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog @peaky-marvel @lokiified @tom-hlover @dryyoursaltyoceantears

[13uswntimagines]

13 Eras of Us Era 2: It’s The First Kiss, It’s Flawless, Really Something, It’s Fearless (Taylor Swift X Morgan!Reader)

13 Eras of us Era 1

This is the Era where R and Taylor finally get together. There is a little spice (very clearly marked). R and Alex start to work on their issues, and we learn a little bit more about R's past... situationships. The team learns about "burrito girl" and Kelley saves the day and keeps things on track.

August 2016

And isn’t it just so pretty to think 

All along there was some invisible string

While August was turning out slightly better than July, it was still weird. 

It was weird being at camp when you weren’t on the roster. Weird being around the people you called friends when most of them weren’t talking to you. 

But what made matters worse was that you had been called in hours before camp started. You had blindly thrown random clothing into a suitcase, rushing to not miss the flight Christen, Alyssa, and JJ were on, all while calling your teammates to find one willing to watch your dogs on such late notice. 

Part of you even considered calling Tony, the bodyguard who had strangely stayed in town despite Taylor’s departure, hoping that maybe he could at least check on them until you could guilt one of your teammates into taking them. 

The older couple that lived next to you would let him in, you knew. 

You had given Mr. And Mrs. Rossi keys two days after you had moved in when they brought over a pan of ravioli and introduced themselves. 

You were just lucky that Niki Stanton had answered you just before you boarded the plane with a yes, so you hadn’t had to ask. 

You didn’t want to bug Taylor more than you had to. You didn’t want to assume that Tony would want to help you. 

You sighed, tugging the special 3rd knot on your cleats to make sure it was tight. 

It wasn’t like you would actually be training with the team. You would be there to partner for drills. To make sure that everyone else was prepared to face Ireland. 

The only problem was that it seemed like no one wanted you to partner with them.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. 

Rose and Emily had sent you regretful smiles as Jill directed you to pair with one of the forwards for a passing drill. Alex had already been claimed by Lindsey and Tobin and Christen had chosen each other. 

It left you on the bench, trying to pretend like it didn’t hurt that the rest of the team had lost so much faith in your abilities that they wouldn’t even look in your direction. 

You blew out another breach, checking your left cleat again. 

“Can I partner with you?” Mal asked sheepishly, blocking the beating sun from your face. 

You squinted up at her, your lips twitched into a ghost of a smile. “Don’t know if you wanna risk my bad luck rubbing off on you,”

“You don’t have bad luck,” She said, her lips also lifting. “But I will take some of your magic if you’re offering,” 

“You never could get enough,” You wiggled your eyebrows. 

“You’re too much,” Mal chuckled, shaking her head. 

There was a glint in her eyes, one that reminded you of long summers at U15 camp flirting over ice cream cones, and talking about what the future held. It reminded you of an easier time before you had been crushed by expectations. Before there were any expectations. 

You weren’t sure if the feelings you had harbored were real, or just a figment created by excitement and feeling free for the first time. What you did know was that while your feelings had long since mellowed into platonic, the comfort her friendship brought you was still as strong as it ever had been. 

If you couldn’t be on the pitch, you would make damn sure she had the debut of her lifetime. 

She deserved that, and hopefully, you would prove yourself to the coaching staff and be allowed to rejoin the team. 

She grabbed your arm, and dragged you to your feet.“Come on, I don’t want to be late for my first practice,” 

You made a low noise of agreement, trudging after her. 

“Don’t look so glum,” Tobin said, nudging your arm as you stepped into line beside her, across from Mal. “It doesn’t suit your sunny personality,” 

You pulled a face at her, catching the ball with your right cleat as Mal sent it your way, and you tapped it to your left foot and sent it back. “I think a majority of my energy has been sapped by all of my friends hating me,” 

“They don’t,” Christen said simply, flicking her own ball back towards Tobin. 

“We could never hate you,” Alex chimed in, catching a pass from Lindsey. 

“Cause I’m really feeling the love,” You grumbled back, staring at the ball instead of meeting your sister's eyes. 

You could feel their gazes glued to you, and you could imagine the looks on their faces. 

You didn’t need to see it. 

“Alright ladies,” Jill clapped her hands, drawing the group's attention. “Let’s start with passing drills. Midfielders will pass to their forwards, and forwards will attempt to score while the defenders will try to stop you,” 

She gestured towards the line of waiting defenders on one side of the goalpost, and the 3 keepers waiting by the other. “If you score, you get to keep the point. If you don’t, the defense keeps it. The side with the most points at the end will get to skip 2 laps on the conditioning run at the end of practice,” 

Your eyebrows furrowed. 

Jill didn’t usually run drills like this. This was something reminiscent of one of Roary’s drills. 

She couldn’t have been talking to him, but if she was... If she listened to his opinion, then maybe what he said was true. 

Maybe he really did have the power to make or break you. 

It sent an unpleasant shiver down your spine. 

You didn’t want to think about the… thank you you might owe him. Or how his suggestion of extra sessions might actually help. 

“Likewise, the keepers will also try to stop you so select the best shot, not just the easiest,” Jill continued, and you blinked back to yourself. “Questions?”

You shook your head along with the group. 

It didn’t matter who had come up with it. All that mattered was that you showed Jill that you belonged on the roster. That you made her regret not including you. 

“Ready to put on a show?” Mal bumped you as Lindsey and Alex started the drill. 

Alex easily outpaced Becky to get into position, but Lindsey had a harder time faking out Kelley, taking an extra second to make the defender step before she sent a perfect through ball into Alex’s path. 

“Always,” You breathed out as the ball left Alex’s foot, sailing through the air before pinging off of the crossbar. She ran a frustrated hand through her hair, and you dragged your eyes away to look at Mal. “Don't miss,” 

A devilish grin took over Mal’s features. “Don’t worry Ducky, I can’t miss with your magic,” 

She winked at you, and you rolled your eyes. 

You hated that nickname. Not as much as others you had been given. Not enough to ask Mal to get rid of it, not when she liked it so much. 

You stepped up to the ball and focused on Emily across from you as Mal did the same with Abby. 

Nicknames could wait until after you had shown them all why you belonged. 

OoOoOoO

You let out a long breath, standing over the ball as you stared at goal. 

You could hear your teammates behind you, chatting as they packed up their gear, but you did your best to tune them out. 

It didn’t matter to you that practice had ended nearly 15 minutes ago. All that you cared about was scoring from the spot. All you cared about was making sure you never missed another penalty again.

You took three steps back, your eyes flickering to the ball and then back towards goal. The back netting fluttered gently in the wind, like waving hands in the stands. 

You blew out one more breath and leaned into your run, counting down in your head. 

Your eyes never left the net as you took your three-step run up and blasted the ball toward the top right corner. 

It hit the net with a satisfying woosh, sending ripples through the material and rattling the woodwork. 

“Not bad,” 

You blinked at the approaching voice, turning to face the new number-one keeper of the USWNT. 

“Oh, thanks,” You nodded, blushing slightly and running a hand through your hair. You headed towards the goal to collect your ball and shoot again. 

You didn’t really interact with Alyssa, even in Chicago. Her quiet confidence always intimidated you. 

“Mind if I stand in goal for you?” She asked, trailing after you. “I wanna get some reps in,”

You paused, blinking at her. “You don’t have to do that for me,” 

She sent you a small smile. “I know. I want to,” 

You swallowed, flicking the ball up to your hands and tossing it towards her. “If you really want to,” 

“I do,” Alyssa caught it easily, looking at you for a long second. “When you send balls to the top right corner, you tilt your hips to the left in your run-up. It gives you away,” 

Your eyebrows furrowed. You didn’t know you were doing that. 

“Try to stay square,” She continued. “It’ll make it harder to read you,” 

You hummed, biting the inside of your lip as you stepped back towards the spot. 

She rolled the ball towards you, and you carefully positioned it where you wanted it, and took three big steps back. 

You twisted your hips, trying to remember to keep them square as you did your run-up. 

Your eyes fell to the ball, and you let out a long breath, doing the countdown on your head as you dragged your gaze to meet Alyssa’s in goal. 

You leaned onto your toes, doing your run-up and forcing your hips to remain parallel. 

Now that you were in step, you could feel what Alyssa was talking back in the way you wanted to pull to your left for the windup. 

Your foot contacted the ball, and you watched as it flew much more slowly towards Alyssa’s outstretched fingertips. It brushed past her, landing in the net with a much less satisfying swish. 

“I just feel like I don’t have as much power,” You said, watching as Alyssa got back to her feet and fished the ball out of the back of the net. 

“I save goals, I don’t make them,” Alyssa shrugged, rolling the ball back in your direction. “You could ask maybe Pino or your sister,”

Your nose scrunched at the options. 

You would rather gargle thumbtacks than do either considering Pino was still pretending that you didn’t exist and Alex was… too much. 

She was trying too hard, pushing too much and it made you suspicious. Why did she care now when she hadn’t before? When she had been ignoring you since the ball left your foot in Rio? 

When the two of you had been at odds since she left for Berkeley?

“It was just a suggestion,” Alyssa said quickly as you tapped the ball back towards the spot. 

“I know,” You mumbled, repositioning the ball with your hands. “I’ll probably ask Mal later. She’s always been better at PKs anyway,” 

Alyssa hummed in agreement. She didn’t know you well enough to argue, and you seemed pretty close with the new striker. You had perked up considerably after partnering with her during practice, and the two of you had been unstoppable in the new set of drills Jill wanted to try(even if Jill made you sit the scrimmage out). 

She hoped that helping you with your PKs would only add to the good mood you had been riding. She hoped it would help to alleviate the dark cloud that had been following you since the Olympics. 

You were young and under more pressure than anyone your age should ever be placed under. As the captain of your club team, she felt it was her duty to actually do something about it. If that meant standing for a million of your PKs until you felt comfortable, then that’s exactly what she would do. 

You lined up behind the ball, squinting at it. She noticed how you tilted your hips back and forth trying to figure out the mechanics of your kick. 

It amazed her how easily you could adjust, and how smooth you made it look. 

If you could get rid of your little tells, you would be deadly in front of the net. Just as deadly as you were during normal play. 

She watched as you leaned forward on your toes, your feet shuffling as you prepared to kick. 

“Hey you two, we’re going to leave soon,” Alyssa blinked up at Kelley’s voice, just as the ball left your foot. 

She missed your kick, and the ball sailed easily into the net to her left. “We were just finishing up,”

Your shoulders rolled, and it looked like you wanted to argue, but no words left your lips. 

It worried her how much you sunk into yourself at Kelley’s appearance. How your good mood vanished in a second. 

She shared a look with Kelley over your shoulder, noting the worry in the defender's eyes. 

At least someone else saw it too. 

“Come on, you can sit by me at lunch,” Alyssa said, wrapping an arm over your shoulder and guiding you towards the bench with your gear. “We can talk more about ball placement,” 

You made a low noise and allowed her to pull you back towards the team. 

You would take any help you could get. 

 *****

“Where’s Ducky?” Mal asked as she set her plate down on the table beside Lindsey’s, leaving an empty chair on her other side for you. 

She thought practice had gone well, and the good mood you gained through practice stayed with you to the weight and film sessions that followed it. You seemed excited about dinner, hyping up Chef Teron’s cooking and promising that you would join her after you took a shower. 

“Ducky?” Kelley frowned, taking the seat opposite of her. 

“Y/n,” Mal said, glancing up at the defender.  “She found a baby duck at our first camp together,”

It was the truth, even if it wasn’t the entire story. Kelley didn’t need to know exactly how the nickname had been earned anyway. Mal was sure she wouldn’t want to know…

Lindsey shot her a look. A warning of sorts that while Kelley didn’t know the story, the full extent of Mal’s relationship with you, Lindsey definitely did. 

“Em’s not here either. I’m sure they’re just late. You know how they get when they’re together,” Lindsey said, dragging her eyes away from Mal to look at Kelley. 

Kelley shrugged. “It’s entirely possible,” 

You and Emily were known to get into trouble when the two of you were together. 

“What’s possible?” Emily asked, appearing through the meal room door alone. 

“That you and Y/n are late because you two are nuts when you’re together,” Lindsey said, stabbing a piece of her chicken. “It's why Paul banned it at u20 camp,” 

Mal rolled her eyes. “No. He stopped putting them together after Y/n was up for three nights straight because she lost a bet,” 

“That’s true,” Emily shrugged. “She was on the phone with the mysterious Taylor when I left. I didn’t want to wait for her anymore,” 

Kelley’s eyebrows furrowed. “Who?”

She had never heard of Taylor before. 

Emily's shoulders lifted and fell again. “The girl that Y/n isn’t dating but pretty much is,” 

“I’m not dating her,” You grumbled, finally joining the table. 

Mal frowned when you took the seat between Kelley and Emily instead of the seat she had saved for you. She slid the plate she had made for you across the table nonetheless, and you nodded in thanks. 

Emily rolled her eyes, ignoring the way you glared at the side of her head. “She flew to your apartment because she was worried about you, and then went to a shitty game that you only played in for 22 minutes,” 

“I scored a hat trick,” You muttered, stabbing at the pasta Mal had grabbed for you. “It wasn’t that shitty,” 

“I’m sorry, what?” Kelley blinked at you. 

She was usually the first person you told things to, despite how… strained things were between you and your sister at times. It felt very strange to her to be out of the loop. 

You let out a suffering sigh. “It’s nothing. Emily is just blowing everything out of proportion,” 

“Am I?” Emily asked incredulously. “Let me repeat, a girl flew across the country to see you because you were sad,” 

“She’s my friend,” You muttered. 

“Ok,” Kelley said, holding up her hand to stop whatever retort Emily was about to make. “It was very nice of your friend to visit,” 

You hummed, seemingly mollified. “It was. She got to try her first burrito,” 

“What kind of person has never had a burrito?” Lindsey snorted. 

And your shoulders lifted and fell. “She’s from Pennsylvania. I don’t think they’re popular there. Or in Nashville,” 

Emily opened her mouth like she was going to protest, but a sharp look from Kelley had her closing it again. 

The way to get information out of you was to drop the pressure, and let you share what you felt comfortable with, even if it wasn’t the juicy details that anyone really wanted. 

“Does she live in Nashville now?” Kelley asked, pretending like she wasn’t invested in the answer. 

Your nose scrunched, and you chewed your food thoughtfully. You had only visited her in Nashville so far, but you knew she spent a larger amount of time in New York. 

 “At least part-time,” You said, stabbing another set of noodles. “She splits her time between there, LA and New York,”  

“Nice, kid,” Kelley hummed. 

“It’s good to make friends,” Mal added, swallowing the sudden lump in her throat, as you smiled brilliantly at her. 

She would believe you when you said that this… Taylor was your friend. After all, she was just your friend too. 

“What about friends?” Alex asked, appearing at the table, and placing her plate down next to Mal. 

“We were just talking about Y/n’s new friend,” Emily said, waggling her eyebrows. “Apparently she never had a burrito before she met your sister,” 

A disgusted look crossed Alex's face. “If that’s a sex thing, then I really don’t want to know about it,” 

“It’s not,” You huffed. “I think about more than just sex you know,” 

“You do? I’m shocked,” Alex deadpanned, and the table burst into bemused laughter. 

“You forgot that she thinks about soccer,” Emily cackled, nudging you. “And the dogs,” 

“Ah yes, the pack of mythological creatures,” Alex said, rolling her eyes. 

“So dogs, soccer, and sex. Seems pretty reasonable to me,” Kelley flicked the side of your head, and you jerked away from her. 

“I fucking hate you guys,” You ground out, stabbing another piece of your chicken, more bitterness than you meant leaking into your tone.

Mal’s head tilted to the side, as the comment only earned more laughter from the table. She noticed something she couldn’t place in Alex’s expression as the giggles died down. 

“I think she thinks a lot about penalty kicks too,” Lindsey added, chuckling. “It was all her and Alyssa would talk about at lunch,” 

Your face twisted into a grimace, and Mal knew at once that you didn’t find it funny. She saw Kelley’s arm shift next to you like a hand was placed on your leg to keep you from pushing yourself out of your seat. 

Alex’s eyebrows furrowed at the comment, and she leaned forward in her chair. 

“Your hips twist to the left when you aim for the top right corner,” She said, her voice going oddly gentle. “If you twist your plant foot outward, it’ll counter it so you can keep your hips square and still have the same power,” 

You froze, your forks halfway to your lips, and your back went rigid. 

It was one thing for Alyssa to offer her help, and another for your sister to do it. 

You bit back your retort that Alex had missed her kick too, that she was no better than you, and forced your fork to your mouth. 

You weren’t in a position to deny help. Even if you didn’t really want it. 

“I can show you later if you want,” Alex continued, seeming unphased by your stiffness. 

“Sure,” Your voice squeaked as you agreed, your eyes dipping. 

Alex’s smile was blinding. “Awesome. We can do it after dinner and before movie night,” 

Your chin barely moved as you nodded in agreement, chewing on your bite. 

Taking pointers from Alex was not a top thing on your to-do list. 

*****

“I just feel like it cuts my power in half,” You sighed, running a frustrated hand through your hair and turning away from the little goal the staff had set up for you. 

“You just need to find the right foot angle so your hips can get around it,” Alex positioned her hands as she explained it. “Just play with it for a bit. I’m sure you’ll get it,” 

You could feel her eyes on you like you were a specimen under a microscope, but you didn’t look up to meet her eyes. 

You couldn’t meet her eyes. 

It reminded you too much of when you were young. Of the hours the two of you would spend in the backyard, critiquing each other play after play. Of the summers you spent under the hot sun, practicing skill after skill until you could take out every other player you faced. 

It reminded you that Alex was more than a teammate. And that was too much. 

“Y/n,” Alex said, her voice going very soft, her hand landing warm and grounding on your shoulder. 

You sucked in a shaky breath. The two of you hadn’t been this close since she left for college. You hadn’t let her this close to you. 

“I’m fine, Alex,” You muttered, trying to shrug her hand off, but she didn’t let you. 

“You’re not,” Her fingers tightened on your shoulder. “And part of that is my fault,” 

Your jaw clenched. “You didn’t sky your penalty,” 

While Alex’s kick hadn’t gone in, it hadn’t been taken nearly as badly as yours was. The keeper had beaten her, while you had simply beaten yourself. 

“No,” She agreed softly. “But I also didn’t make sure you were ok afterward,” 

No. Afterward, everyone split off into different directions to handle their grief. Alex didn’t even say goodbye to you before flying out of Rio. 

“You don’t need to worry about me. I’m an adult,” You said, finally looking up to meet her eyes. The eyes were a near-perfect replica of yours. “I’m fine. I’m playing well, and I’m showing everyone that I deserve to be here,” 

Alex nodded. 

She couldn’t disagree that you had been on fire since camp started. That the connection you and Mal had on the pitch was proving to be lethal, and that she was sure Jill regretted that you wouldn’t be eligible for the game against Australia. 

But she could see that you were not fine. 

She wished you trusted her enough to admit it. 

“You might be an adult, but you’re still my little sister,” Alex said, her voice still soft, but determined as she squeezed your shoulder again. “And I want to be there for you,” 

“Now you want to be here for me. Now that everyone is watching you care. Now when it’s convenient,” You muttered, finally pulling yourself free of her hand. 

Her eyes snapped towards you, and the bitterness in your tone. “What?”

You paced towards the ball, taking extra time to fish it out of the back of the net, watching it as you directed it back towards the penalty spot. 

“You care now because that’s what you think is expected of you,” You said finally, your voice barely above a whisper. “You care because it’s convenient for you now that we’re in the same place. When I go back to Chicago, you’re going to go back to not giving a fuck,” 

“Let’s get one thing straight,” Alex growled, catching your wrist, and whipping you around to face her. “I have never not given a fuck,” 

Your jaw worked like you were contemplating the next words to come out of your mouth, and you slowly looked up to meet her eyes. 

They weren’t the icy stone that she expected or the cold blue that she had become accustomed to. 

They were a deep turquoise, vibrant, and… open. Vulnerable in a way they hadn’t been since you were 9 years old. 

“You just left me,” You said. “And then I was alone,”

Something dark lingered under your words. Something that she knew you weren’t saying. Something that she had a feeling was far deeper than what happened after the Olympics. 

“You have never been alone,” Alex grit out, the hand on your arm tightening. 

You rolled your eyes, ripping away from her grasp for the second time. “Whatever Alex,” 

Alex opened her mouth, a scathing retort on the tip of her tongue, but she didn’t let it fly. She paused, watching the way you focused back on the ball. You flicked it up onto your toe box, juggling it a few times before you let it fall perfectly on the penalty spot. 

She recognized the movement. It was the same one you used when you were young, and you felt too vulnerable to talk. When you needed to control your emotions. 

She let out a long breath, calming the agitation still simmering in her chest. 

You wouldn’t respond to anger and harsh retorts. No. She had to take a more gentle approach. One that wouldn’t threaten your vulnerability. 

“I shouldn’t have left right after the game in Rio,” She said softly, taking a very slow step toward you. “I’m sorry that I didn’t stay to make sure you were alright,” 

Your shoulders rolled, and you positioned yourself to take another kick. “I didn’t need you to stay,” 

“I also should have checked on you after we got back, instead of just assuming that you were fine,” She pushed on as if you hadn’t spoken.

A strange sort of grimace flashed across your features. One you tried to smother as you did your signature run-up, keeping your hips square (and turning your foot out slightly wider) as you took your kick.

The net swished as the ball made contact, banging into the top right corner with a satisfying rattle. 

It was still amazing to her how quickly you could make adjustments. How easy it was for you to figure out the body mechanics to make a slight change work. 

She took another step towards you. “I know I haven’t been there for you, but I want to be. Not because I think it’s what’s expected of me, but because you’re my sister and I love you,”

She wanted to reach out and catch your shoulder again. To force you to look at her, but she knew that wouldn’t help. 

All she could do was watch as the words filtered through your brain; as you worked them over in your head; as you realized that she wasn’t looking for a fight or defend herself and your posture very slowly relaxed. 

“There’s an app,” Alex continued, taking the last step towards you, getting so close that she was nearly brushing your back. “It tracks miles, and fitness, and calories, and I think it could help us reconnect if you want to try it,” 

She could see the way your jaw worked, as you stepped away from her to collect the ball from the net again like you were chewing on her both words and her offer. 

The offer she meant to make while the two of you were still in Rio. 

She waited as you rolled the ball out of the net, flipping it between your feet for a long minute before you finally looked up and met her eyes. “Ok,” 

She nodded, more to herself than to you, just thankful that you had responded at all. She hadn’t expected even that. 

“I love you,” She repeated softly, reaching out and catching your hand and squeezing in 3 slow pulses. 

You squeezed it in return. “I love you too,” 

The slight reluctance in your tone bothered her, but she would take what she could get with you. It was more than she had gotten in a very long time. 

You cleared your throat, breaking the comforting silence that stretched between you. “When I want to kick it left, would I just angle my plant foot in the opposite direction?”

She blinked, once, twice, 3 times. “Yeah. It’ll help you prevent your hips from telegraphing,” 

You hummed, turning away. 

She should have known that you wouldn’t comment further. That you would turn back to football as soon as you could. She knew it wasn’t personal. 

But she wished it didn’t sting as much. 

******

You glanced down at the new addition to your right wrist, shaking your hand and testing how much the little watch slid with the movement. You had been playing with it since Kelley passed it to you at breakfast. 

You didn’t know that Alex’s app required a stupid piece of jewelry, but you hadn’t had the heart to take it off yet. Not when she was actually trying. 

It was still irritating to you, and you worried that it would get in the way during your afternoon practice and lift session, even if you wouldn’t be allowed to join their walkthrough. 

You didn’t want to break it before you really got to use it. You didn’t think that your Red Stars salary would stretch enough to cover a new one. Not when you were planning extra trips to New York. 

You sighed, grabbing your cup of green juice and taking a large sip. 

You were probably going to have to budget more as it was. Flights weren’t cheap, and neither was food, or a hotel (even if Taylor insisted you could stay with her. As her best friend).

“Hey kid,” Jill said, knocking on the Hotel lobby table. “Got a second?”

You gulped down the liquid and gestured towards the empty couch across from you. “Always coach,”

She smiled and settled into the seat. You leaned forward in your own, your drink landing on the table with a thunk. 

“We’re placing you on the active roster for the game against Canada,” Jill said. “Roary said that you had been making slow improvements, but I wanted to see for myself. You’ve proven that you deserve the spot,” 

“I…-“ You blinked at her. “Thank you. I will not let you down,” 

She waved you off. “I’d like to see some nice linking with Mallory and your sister. I want to really push Trancredi and Chapman,” 

“I can do that,” You nodded seriously. You knew you could get balls to Alex and Mal. You knew you could stretch the defense. 

You were a menace on the pitch, especially when you had something to prove. 

You had everything to prove. 

“I know,” Her lips ticked up and she reached across the table to pat your knee as she stood. “Go eat. You’ll be joining full team practice after lunch, and dawn will have my head if you pass out,”

You matched her smile. “Yes, coach. Thank you,” 

“You’ve earned it,” She said, turning and heading off towards the meal room, but she paused before she exited the lobby. “And stop hiding from your friends,” 

You blushed but nodded in agreement anyway. She winked as she left, and you couldn’t help the bubbling laugh that left your lips, undeterred by her request to stop icing out the team. 

She invited you because she wanted to see your progress herself. She wanted to see if you were progressing as slowly as Roary said you were, and you had proven that you weren’t. You had proven you were an asset. 

You had proven them wrong. 

The elation filled your chest, like champagne in a shaken bottle and all you wanted was to let it out. You wanted to tell someone. 

Well, not someone. You wanted to tell Taylor. 

She was the one who convinced them that you could prove them wrong after all. The one who had been there for you, even before you took the penalty kick in Rio. 

You grabbed your green juice from the table and pushed yourself up from the armchair, pulling your phone out of your pocket as you hung a left down a side hallway by the meal room so you could have some privacy before you faced the rest of the team. 

You easily flicked through your contacts, pausing over the one you had recently changed from blondie to Athena after the goddess of wisdom, and pressing it gently. 

“Hey, what’s up,” Taylor’s smiling face met you after the second ring. “Everything ok?” 

“Better than ok,” You nodded excitedly, flashing her a brilliant grin. “Jill added me to the active squad, and I’m playing in the game on Saturday against Canada,” 

Her eyes lit up. “Oh my god! That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you!”

Red leaked into your cheeks. “Thanks,” 

She hummed, her smile shifting into something softer, silence stretching between you for a long second. 

“What time?” She asked, and your eyebrows pulled tightly together. “What?” 

“The game,” She said, the soft look never leaving her eyes. “What time is it on?”

“6ish I think?” Your voice tilted up in question. 

The truth was you didn’t actually know what time the game was on. You didn’t know what time you needed to be on the bus, or when warmups started. 

It was the nice thing about camp. 

You never had to think about a schedule. You just went with the flow.

“I’ll look on the USWNT website,” Taylor rolled her eyes affectionately at you. 

“Good plan,” You said, your head bobbing. 

You opened your mouth to add a quip, but the sound of your name interrupted you. 

You blinked up at the new voice, suddenly realizing that your side hallway wasn’t as private as you thought it was. 

“You’re going to miss lunch,” Mal said, and you wondered how long she had been standing there. How long had she listened in? 

You waved her off. “Just save me a plate,”

You could eat after you were finished with your call. 

“No,” Mal glared at the phone in your hand.  “come on,” 

“You’ve gotta go,” Taylor interjected softly before you could send whatever whippy retort was on your tongue towards Mal, pulling your attention back to the screen. “We’ll talk later, I promise,”  

“I’ll see you later,” You sighed, waving towards Taylor before hanging up, a millisecond before Mal peeked at the screen. 

“That was rude,” You grumbled, slapping her arm when she was close enough. “I was having a conversation,” 

“Well, you were late,” Mal said, rolling her eyes and hooking her arm through yours to pull you tightly to her as she dragged you towards the meal room. “And you get grumpy when you don’t eat,” 

You got more grumpy when you didn’t get to talk to Taylor, but you didn’t voice that thought. 

You didn’t need anyone else questioning your relationship with Taylor, not when she was very firmly your friend. 

OoOoOoO

September 2016

Is it cool that I said all that?

Is it too soon to do this yet?

Cause I know that it’s delicate

The craziness that was August simmered down considerably as soon as September started. It was like the sudden chill in the air was a balm to the insanity that always accompanied the stretch to the playoffs.

With Chicago at the very bottom of the table, well besides Orlando, you knew that your season would likely end in 4 games. It should have made you feel bad, but it didn’t. All you could muster was a strange sense of… blaséness. 

You didn't have it in you to care after the loss of the Olympics. Not in a league that didn’t matter. 

It wasn’t like you were playing for Arsenal. 

What you did care about was that you had earned your national team spot back. 

With 2 assists and a goal yourself against Canada, you had solidified why you deserved your callup. That was before you found out that Taylor was there. 

Things only got better when you got to see her after the game. When you got to hug her and hear her say how proud she was of you. When you got to solidify your plans to see her when you played against Sky Blue. 

Nothing could dampen your… excitement, not even Mal (drunkenly) hanging off of you during the post-game dinner celebration. 

That carried over into your upset win over Portland with Chicago, and the week of practice you had between them and your game in New York. 

And now, sitting in the back of a dark dive bar in Tribeca, trying to ignore your drunk friends (teammates and foes) celebrating, your excitement. Your happiness was nearly palpable. 

Taylor was going to swing by before you left, and the two of you were set to hang out tomorrow too.  

But still, you couldn’t get rid of the nagging feeling in the back of your mind. Of the butterflies that fluttered in your chest each time you so much as thought about Taylor. 

You tried to slam a lid on it. To shove it into a little box, because you knew that if you let it out, you would fuck up your friendship. 

It was how you saved your friendship with Mal after all wasn't it?

You had swallowed the lump in your throat, and taken the little piece of her that she gave you. You had even listened to her talk about him while the two of you cuddled. 

But it was different because you weren’t sleeping with Taylor. 

“Hey, sorry I’m kinda late,” Taylor said, just as a hand landed very gently on your shoulder. 

Your lips instantly ticked up at Taylor’s voice and you turned towards the back of the bar to greet her (slightly surprised she hadn’t come in the front). “Hey, no worries,”

You pushed yourself to your feet and pulled her into a tight hug. Your nose pressed against her neck, and you tried not to think about how the scent of lavender and something so innately Taylor put your swirling thoughts at ease. 

You leaned back with a genuine grin, and slid her the drink you had ordered for her “Old fashion right?”

She frowned but took the drink anyway. “How did you order this? You’re not 21 yet,” 

You shrugged and slid back onto your stool. “I didn’t have to order it,” 

She took the stool next to you, her eyebrows lifting. 

“Really I didn’t,” You said, reaching for your own glass. “The losing team always buys the first round at least,” 

She eyed it warily as you brought it to your lips, taking a sip of her own.

“It’s water,” You said before she could ask. “Because Kelley and Christen strongly disapprove of underage drinking,”

“I do too,” Taylor hummed, leaning closer to you so she could hear you over the bar noise. 

“I know,” You said, sending her a cheeky smile. “How was the studio? Cooking up something good?”

She took a sip of her drink. “I think so. I can show you some of them tomorrow,”

“That would be cool,” You nodded, your eyes flickering towards your teammates. “There’s also a cool little brunch spot in TriBeCa. It’s called the bus stop,”

“I’ve heard about it,” Taylor hummed. “It’s like two blocks from my apartment,” 

“I can pick you up tomorrow and we can go,” You said, watching Taylor carefully. “Roary gets upset when I skip out early,” 

You didn’t want to be too… forward. 

You didn’t want to tip the hand on your feelings when you knew she didn’t feel the same. 

“That should work,” Taylor agreed, without even blinking. “I’ll let Jason know you’re coming and I’ll text you directions to the back entrance,” 

“Jason?” You smirked, trying to keep your voice neutral, and wiggled your eyebrows to complete the effect. “Have a boyfriend you’re not telling me about?”

She was your friend you reminded yourself. You weren’t allowed to feel upset if she was dating someone. She probably wasn’t even interested. 

“No,” Taylor chuckled around a sip of her drink. “Jason is my head of security. He’ll let the team know that you’re not just some random fan,”

“Have many of them knock on your door?” You asked, your smirk widening into something that reminded her of a Cheshire Cat grin as you nudged her shoulder gently. 

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” She sighed heavily and a dark look crossed over her features (making you instantly regret the joking tone you had used). “It’s only gotten worse lately, especially since the video came out,”

You grimaced, your nose scrunching adorably. 

You thought the entire handling of the situation by Kanye’s camp was fucking disgusting. You thought he was a total narcissistic creeper and a douche. 

You had already gotten your national team teammates to agree not to listen to it. 

“If he’s ever at a game, I’ll put a price on who can peg him in the head more times,” You Promised with a short nod, and it earned you the desired effect of her giggle. “But seriously I think it’s fucking gross and that he needs to get a life,” 

“I appreciate that, but I don’t need you to fight for me,”  She said, laying a hand on your shoulder. 

“I know,” You nodded. “But I will anyway. A man should know how to treat people,” 

You would always be willing to defend her honor, just like you would defend Mal or any of your teammates. 

Well, maybe this wasn’t like Mal. You didn’t crave Mal’s soft smile or… praise like you did Taylor’s. You didn’t need Mal to acknowledge your bravery like you wanted Taylor to…

God you were really starting to lose the plot. 

Taylor was your friend. 

“I appreciate it,” She said, red coloring her cheeks. “Anyway, what are your other plans for tonight?”

“I’m going to help Christen drag the team back to the hotel, and then I’ll probably crash,” You shrugged, gesturing towards where Christen and Kelley were dancing with Huerta and Sam Kerr. “This way I’m actually awake to hang out with you tomorrow,” 

Taylor’s lips quirked up into a teasing grin. “I do prefer you conscious,” 

You wiggled your eyebrows, shifting on your stool to block Taylor from the view of your teammates when you caught Christen's eye. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t trust them, you just wanted to keep Taylor to yourself. You didn’t want to have to share her. 

“I didn’t know you owned anything other than sweatpants,” Taylor continued, gesturing towards the dark blue jeans you had accented with a pair of Batman Nikes.

You took a sip of your water to cover the light pink that dusted your cheeks. Maybe you had dressed up because you knew you were meeting her at the bar. “We won, so I had to wear something other than warm-up gear. Christen picked them,” 

Christen had helped you because you didn’t actually know how to put an outfit together. You wore sweats because they went with everything. You didn’t have to think about things matching. 

So by the 3rd try, the forward had taken pity on you. Picking a Manchester City jersey to go with your dark pants and your Nike kicks. 

Taylor hummed, smiling very gently at you like she was reading your mind. 

Really, she was fighting to keep her eyes from tracing your arms where you had rolled the jersey sleeves, and from dipping down to where your jeans hugged your ass. 

“Will you be back to your normal style tomorrow, or is she going to pick your outfit again?”

You rolled your eyes at the playful question. “Depends, do I get anything if I dress up?”

“I’ll buy you breakfast,” She smirked and you chuckled, more red bleeding into your cheeks. “Or brunch,” 

“I think that sounds like a fair trade,” You chuckled, nodding along. She giggled at you, and it was like music to your ears, even against the backdrop of the noisy bar. 

It made your smile broaden, just like it always did. It shouldn’t fill your chest with so much pride that you were the reason she was giggling. 

You really needed to get a handle on yourself before you did something stupid that pushed her away. 

You needed to make sure you wouldn’t ruin your friendship. 

You didn’t know what you would do if you lost Taylor. 

********

“I don’t think words can describe how adorable she is,” Taylor sighed towards her phone, taking a sip of her red wine. “I swear she blushes every time I so much as look at her,” 

It wasn’t her first glass of the night. It wasn’t even her second. 

She had opened the bottle as soon as she had gotten back from the bar, and now it was verging on halfway gone. 

She could feel the effects starting to take place, the way it loosened up her muscles and tongue. The way she couldn’t stop gushing about everything that had happened with you up to this point, not that her best friend was in the dark. She had been telling Selena about you for months, recounting each interaction the two of you had from the texting to the pillow fort cuddles. 

Selena hummed, taking a sip of her own wine on the other side of the phone. “I’m surprised considering how… fierce she was on the field. She almost murdered someone today,”

Taylor rolled her eyes. 

You had gotten in a defender's face after a bad tackle just outside of the box, turning angrily towards the reff when no yellow card followed the challenge. 

“That was a bad call and the reff knew it. The defender came in studs up and ruined a good through ball opportunity,” She said. 

Selena raised an eyebrow. “You know you sound like you’re speaking a different language right?”

It was something that had been happening more frequently. Taylor explaining soccer plays and referring to teams using phrases that Selena had never heard before. With all the time the singer had been spending with you, it shouldn’t have been surprising that Taylor would pick up on the dialect that was always on your lips. 

That didn’t mean that Taylor’s best friend couldn’t tease her for it. 

“Y/n was right to get upset. The defender could have hurt her,” Taylor reiterated seriously. 

“I’m sure,” Selena’s tone dripped with sarcasm as she studied her for a long moment. “When are you going to admit that your sudden interest in soccer is because you’re interested in her,”

Deep red immediately bled into Taylor’s cheeks, setting her face aflame.

 “I've already admitted that,” She muttered, hiding behind a sip. 

“Let me rephrase then,” Selena said, a trading smirk on her lips. “When are you going to admit it to her, because no offense, but she obviously hasn’t gotten the message yet, even after you continue to fly out to her games,”

Taylor choked on her wine, “I thought she finally understood tonight. She saved me a spot away from her teammates so we could have privacy, but then she said something about us being best friends when she walked me to the car,” 

“You’re going to have to be more direct,” Selena said, as Taylor took the last sip from her glass. 

“It’s just…” Taylor sighed, setting the empty glass down. “She’s still so young. She just turned 19. I don’t want to… I don’t know, pressure her into something,”

“I don’t think you are,” Selena said slowly, her lips pursing. “You’re both adults who can consent, and even though you’re older, I don’t think there's an unfair power dynamic happening. You’re her sister’s age right?”

“Yes,” Taylor nodded. 

Her and Alex were both born in 1989, and actually, your sister was older than her by almost 6 months, and you were very much an adult. She had made sure of that, refusing to even pursue a friendship until you were 18. 

“Then it’s not like you're some older woman trying to take advantage of her,” 

“No, I’m not. I would never,” Taylor immediately agreed. 

She would do anything to make sure you weren’t being taken advantage of. She knew how powerful existing dynamics could be, and she did her best to avoid their effects. 

You had to consent at every stage, even your friendship. 

“Then there you go,” Selena shrugged, wiggling her fingers at the screen. “Now can you please stop with the pining and make an actual move? It’s less fun than it was before,” 

Taylor threw her head back with a groan. “But how,” 

She had literary flown across the country because you had been added to the starting lineup for the national team and you still didn’t catch the message. 

Selena chuckled. “You’ve literally written a song about it,”

Taylor groaned again. 

She knew the song that Taylor was talking about. She could hear How you get the girl ringing in her head. 

But this was different. 

You didn’t even know about the pressure that had driven them apart. The demands that her management had of her. The complications of her… profession made it impossible for them to be together in the way that she wanted. 

And she hadn’t communicated that nearly as well as she wanted to. 

“That was different. I fucked up and Diana wouldn’t talk to me,” She said softly, 

“But you know the basics. It’s even raining,” Selena shrugged for a 3rd time, smiling impishly at her. “It doesn’t have to be complicated,” 

Taylor bit her lip. 

Selena made it sound simple, but maybe it was. 

“You’re right,” Taylor hummed, a plan forming in her mind. “I'll call you later. After,” 

Selena smirked. “Good luck with lover girl, but I don’t think you’ll need it,” 

“Thanks,” 

******

Taylor shouldn’t have been shocked by how easy it was to get into the hotel that the team was staying at. She shouldn’t have been surprised that the teenager behind the front desk gave her a room number with very little persuading. 

There also hadn’t been any security on the elevator. Or on the floor, your room was on. 

It was a little scary that she could get to you with literally no one stepping in, but considering your frequently snarky comments about how little people actually cared about you and the league, she should’ve expected it. 

If you said yes. If you started a relationship with her, she would have to do something to put a barrier between you and the fans. 

You probably wouldn’t like the idea of someone trailing you around, like Jason and her team trailed her, but it would be necessary. She would have to talk to Jason about it. Maybe Tony would be up for the job, you seemed to like him anyway. 

Finding your door was as easy as getting the number from the receptionist. 

But she paused in front of the ugly red door, her heart pounding on her chest. 

She swallowed hard, lifting her hand and knocking three times on the door. 

She had no reason to be nervous. You loved seeing her, and it wasn’t like you could bring one of your… conquests to a hotel room you shared with a teammate. 

It would just be your sleepy smile that would meet her. The one where your eyes crinkled and you ran a hand through your ever-unruly curls. 

But it wasn’t your tired smile that met her. 

Instead, it was Christen’s Press’ wide smirk, as the older forward opened the door. 

“So you’re the mystery girl from the bar,” Christen’s chin tilted towards her as she leaned against the doorframe. “I thought I recognized you,”

Taylor’s fingers wound into her cardigan, and she swallowed trying to get some moisture in her suddenly dry throat. 

“Is Y/n here?” 

Her voice came out shaky, horse. 

Christen bit her lip, watching Taylor closely like she was a specimen under a microscope. 

“She is not,” She said finally, her arms crossing over her chest, almost defensively. 

“Oh,” 

Taylor’s whole being deflated. 

If you weren’t here, then where were you? Who were you with?

Christen glanced into the room behind her. “She should be back soon though. Wicked started at 8, and she swore it was only a 3-hour show with a thirty-minute intermission,” 

Taylor’s eyebrows furrowed. “She’s on Broadway?” 

You insisted that you hated anything with a plot, but Broadway musicals had a plot. You had also told her that you were just going to hang out at the hotel with your friends. 

Why had you lied? 

Taylor could see the pity in her eyes, and she hated it. 

“Yeah,” Christen nodded once. “She sees at least one show every time she’s in New York. It’s like her 8th time seeing Wicked, but it’s her favorite,” 

“Oh,” Taylor breathed out. 

A pained look crossed Christen’s face, and she shifted on the door frame. 

“I’m sure you’ve heard about y/n’s reputation. I just…,” Christen’s voice was soft, hesitant even. “If… you woke up alone… or if she promised you something…”

Taylor frowned immediately shaking her head. “We didn’t-. She didn’t-. I wanted to talk to her about our plans for tomorrow,” 

Relief washed across Christen’s face. “Good. The two of you looked adorable in the bar, and she wouldn’t shut up about you. She has a habit of ruining things she thinks she doesn’t deserve,” 

Taylor’s eyebrows furrowed. 

What did Christen mean? What did you ruin? 

“You said she’s seeing Wicked tonight?” Taylor asked, her head tilting. 

Jason should be able to get her close to the theater before they let out. Maybe she could catch you. 

Christen nodded, sensing that Taylor was already forming another plan. “Yes. Jackie Burns is playing Elphaba and she’s one of y/n’s favorites,” 

“Thanks,” 

Taylor was already turning away from her, phone in hand. 

Christen caught her arm before she could retreat down the hall, and Taylor met her deep green eyes. “Just… treat her right, ok?”

“I will,” 

Both women felt the weight of the words. The promise. 

“There will be a hoard of angry footballers with a bounty on your head if you don’t,” Christen’s lips cracked into a smile as she released the singer. “Y/n doesn’t just let anyone close to her,”

“I know,” Taylor matched her grin. 

Taylor had already gotten close to you. Closer than you had let nearly everyone before her. Now she just had to actually get you to agree that your relationship was more.

She would, and then she would protect your relationship and you with everything she had. 

******

Sometimes, being a professional soccer player was… strange. 

Strange because you played on a well-known team, but that you could easily disappear into a crowd. Strange because strangers on the internet all so many opinions about you, but none of them actually knew you. 

They didn’t know how much you loved musicals because it let you escape the truth of your own reality for a few hours. They didn’t know how much you loved the way the skyscrapers were accented against the star-dotted sky. How the billboards lit up the sidewalk and the pedicabs and taxis when you stepped out of a show. 

How the rain made the lights twinkle like the street was covered in fairy dust. 

How the cool October air filled your lungs as you shoved your hands deeper into your pockets as you left the Gershwin Theater. 

You would stay and stand at the stage door, but it was already nearing midnight. You promised Christen you wouldn’t be back too late, and the dollar pizza guy around the corner from the hotel closed at 1. You would not be missing out on a greasy one-dollar slice. It was tradition after all, and you already had Jackie Burns’ signature on a framed shirt. 

Plus the rain made anything but finding the subway entrance something you wholeheartedly didn’t want to do. 

“Y/n,” 

You dipped your head at the call of your name, slipping further into the crowd and leaving the theater. 

You didn’t think that anyone would recognize you. They rarely ever did, but then again your face had been plastered all over the place since Rio. 

You weren’t in the mood to deal with fans anyway, even after a solid win over Sky Blue. Not while you were getting soaked. 

“Y/n, wait!” 

You pulled your hood over your head, ignoring the way it pressed into your damp curls, and hunched your shoulders in an attempt to make yourself disappear. 

You just needed to get around the corner of the Barclay building and cut between the hotdog cart and Juniors and you would be safe in the subway station. Away from prying eyes and the drenching rain, and back towards the team hotel in SoHo. 

“Y/n,” 

The voice was even closer, and a hand caught your arm just as you made it to the corner, pulling you to a dead stop. You let out a long, weary breath, painting a million-dollar smile on your face as you turned. 

Yelling at a fan wouldn’t go over well. 

But it melted as soon as you saw exactly who had grabbed you. 

“Taylor?” Her hair was plastered to her head, her dark gray cardigan soaked through, and her blue eyes accented by running makeup. “Where is your coat? What are you doing here?” 

“I need to talk to you,” 

“We need to get you out of this rain,” You muttered, ignoring her. You yanked your zipper down, and tugged your arms out of your jacket, tucking it around her shoulders and pulling the hood over her head. “You’re going to get sick,” 

You caught her hand after you zipped the coat around her and began to drag her towards the subway. 

At least the 51st station was heated. 

“Y/n wait,” 

Her slippery fingers tugged on yours, trying to slow you down. Trying to stop you. 

“No. It’s like 50 degrees out here and raining,” You grumbled, not even looking at her. 

How had she found you? Why was she out in the rain looking for you? What if she got Pneumonia because she chased after you without a coat?

You were trying to remember what Alex and Kelley always said about rain and cold, after rain games. You were trying to remember how Alex would get you warmed up when you were young. 

“Y/n, stop,” Taylor tugged at your hand again, and you glanced over your shoulder at her, still refusing to stop pulling her towards the subway. 

“What? I don’t want you to get sick and die,” You bit back, as the rain got harder, bouncing off Taylor’s hood in large, heavy drops. “Why would you come out here without a raincoat or an umbrella? Or-,”

Taylor jerked you towards her before you could finish, and before you could process what was happening, her lips met yours, stealing the end of your sentence. 

You blinked, your lips frozen for a long second, taking in the feeling of Taylor’s warm lips accented by the cool drops of rain. 

It was like your brain had short-circuited. 

You couldn’t kiss back, or pull away (even though you didn’t want you). All you could do was stand here, mouth halfway open, blinking owlishly at her. 

Her thumb brushed against your cheek as she leaned back, her eyebrows furrowed with worry that she had crossed a line. “Y/n,” 

You blinked again, water dripping off your lashes. 

Taylor kissed you. 

She kissed you in the rain. 

Taylor liked you. 

But she hadn’t said that. She hadn’t said anything. 

You blinked for a third time, tilting your chin up and leaning forward to connect your lips again.

 Taylor sucked in a breath before gently returning the kiss. 

Your lips moved together like they were made for each other. It was slow and warm, and… wet, accented by the rain dripping down your faces. 

Your hands found her waist, your fingers squeezing her hips, and hers tangled in the soaked baby hairs at the back of your neck. 

It was a perfect first kiss. Something out of a fairytale, or one of Taylor’s songs. 

You finally pulled away, breathing heavily through your nose, almost like you had run a full 90. 

“It’s raining, and I don’t want you to get sick,” You mumbled, leaning in and pecking her lips again. 

“Jason and the car are that way,” She said, gesturing back toward the theater.

You lifted your head in that direction, noting the sleek, black Escalade among the yellow cabs. You couldn’t see who was inside, but you knew that that would be true even if it wasn’t nighttime and pouring with the blacked-out windows. 

It had to be worth more than pretty much everything you owned, and you were soaked through. 

It would ruin the interior, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to afford fixing it.

Taylor shivered though, and you sighed, nodding. “Let’s get you warmed up,” 

“You need to get warm too,” Taylor hummed, trailing her hand down your bare arm and catching your fingers. “I have towels in the car,” 

You squeezed her hand, letting her lead you towards the car. The door was open by the time you got to it, the back seat already littered with black towels and a blanket. 

Taylor slid in first, and you followed after her, wiping your curls out of your eyes, and allowing her to wrap a towel around you, even though you didn’t feel cold. 

“Back to your apartment?” The bulky blonde man in the front seat asked, turning to look at Taylor. 

“I have to go back to the team hotel,” You said before she could answer him. “I’ll get in trouble with the coaching staff if I don’t go back, and it’ll upset my teammates,” 

Taylor’s hand landed on your thigh, squeezing gently like she was telling you that she would take care of it. 

“The hotel it is,” The man smiled, turning back towards the steering wheel, and flicking one of the buttons near the center console. More heat began to flood the car, as it inched forward. “Traffic is pretty bad with this rain, so it’ll be a bit,”

“Thanks, Jay,” Taylor sighed, grabbing the blanket and tossing it over the two of you. “We’re not in a hurry,” 

He glanced up at you in the rearview mirror. “Would you like me to put up the privacy curtain?”

Taylor’s lips curved into a playful smile, and she squeezed your thigh again. “No. Not tonight,” 

You raised an eyebrow at her. 

Did she do this often? This couldn’t have been the first time she was with someone in the back of the car. 

The thought made your stomach tumble.

Maybe the kiss wasn’t because she wanted something more, but because she wanted… sex. It wouldn’t be a shocker with your reputation. You were easy, always up for a lay. She just wanted to blow off some steam. 

You shut down that thought. 

It didn’t matter. 

“Are you warm enough?” Taylor asked, and your eyes snapped up to meet hers. 

“Hm?” your eyebrows furrowed deeper. 

You didn’t feel cold. 

She reached up very slowly, brushing a stray curl from your forehead and laying a thumb very gently on your lips. “Your lips are still trembling,” 

You leaned into the warmth of her hand, unable to stop yourself. “Oh, I’m ok. I’ve had to play in the rain before. This isn’t that bad,” 

She looked unconvinced, her other hand adjusting your towel so it covered more of your frame. “You shouldn’t have given me your jacket,”

“You shouldn’t have been out in that without one,” You shrugged, earning an eye roll. 

“I had important things to talk to you about,” She said, her thumb dragging from your lips to brush your cheek. 

Your lips tilted into a teasing smirk. “I don’t think we actually talked,”

“But I think you got the message,” She murmured, completing the circuit with her thumb back towards your lips. 

“Did I?” Your eyebrow quirked up at her. 

She tapped your lips, before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to them. You couldn’t help the way you leaned into her, and kissed back, even if it had warning sirens blaring in your head. 

You would ignore the gnawing feeling that this would ruin your friendship and that Taylor would leave when she was done with you 

“You did,” She hummed as she pulled away, her thumb gliding across your cheek again. 

She sounded so sure of herself. Far more sure than you felt. 

Maybe Emily was right. 

Maybe you should just go with it.

OoOoOoO

You let out a long breath, leaning your forehead against the cool, hotel room door, watching as little water droplets slid down the smooth, red surface. Your hand rested on the handle, but you had no intention of opening it.

Not yet. 

Not while your head still felt like it was in a blender. 

Not while you were still reeling from the feeling of Taylor’s soft lips pressed into yours. Of her thumb making circuits from your cheek to your lips and back. Of her blue eyes staring at you like she could see beneath your skin like she wanted you more than she wanted anything else. 

But she couldn’t want you. 

She probably just wanted to… experiment, and your reputation made you an easy choice. 

You blew out another breath, hoping that the feeling of it leaving your lungs would help steady the shakiness in your knees. 

It was embarrassing, but you had been fantasizing about what her lips would feel like, how she would taste, for a long time. And now that you had actually tasted them, well, it was a craving you weren’t sure you’d ever be able to satiate. It would be so much worse when she decided she didn’t want you. 

You watched a water droplet slide down the door, lazily making its way around a chip in the paint. 

But maybe she did want you. 

You had chased you down in the rain, without a jacket, after all, and kissed you in the street like she didn’t care who was looking. 

You let out one more breath, fishing the key card out of your back pocket and pressing it against the lock until it clicked. You let your forehead push the door open, only lifting it after you had stepped inside the hotel room. 

You weren’t surprised to see that the lights were still on, and Christen was still sitting up in bed a book in her hand and her reading glasses still firmly in place. 

“I was about to send out a search party,” She hummed, catching her bookmark from the nightstand and carefully placing it into the book. It was only then that she looked up at you, a frown pulling at her lips. “Why are you all wet? Where is your jacket?”

You had the decency to send her a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry. I got distracted and then Tony’s pizza stand was closed so I had to go to the corner slice in Tribeca. I lost my jacket somewhere along the way,” 

You pulled your sodden Manchester City jersey over your head. “Do you think it can be saved?” 

Christen rolled her eyes and pushed herself to stand, crossing the room to the small closet and pulling out a hanger. “Let’s hang dry it, and we’ll see,” 

You followed after her towards the bathroom, turning it the right way out and gingerly sliding it onto the hanger. “It has to be ok. Bronze is my favorite and my parents finally got a name right,” 

She took it from you and hooked it around the shower curtain rail. “A true miracle that I’m sure Alex had nothing to do with,” 

Alex couldn’t have had anything to do with it. You never told her that you liked Bronze. You had only told Rosie. 

Though you weren’t sure how your parents had picked the right one…

She turned back to you, her eyes flickering to the skin just above your lips. A smirk broke across her face and she reached up to brush her thumb over your cheek. “Is that lipstick?”

You jerked your head away from her. “No,” 

There was no way Taylor’s lipstick could be on your soaking-wet skin. Not with the way the rain had drenched the two of you. 

Except… 

your eyes closed. 

Taylor had kissed your cheek before you exited the car. You slipped out of the Escalade under the awning of the hotel, safe from the rain. 

“Let’s get the not lipstick off of you then,” Christen hummed noncommittally, pulling you closer to the sink. “How did you get so soaked?”

You waited until she turned away from you to dig into her makeup bag to answer, contemplating the words that you would say. 

Surely her advice would help too, but then her girlfriend would probably tell your sister. 

It would be easier if you just kept it all to yourself. If you just followed Emily’s advice and went with it. 

“I got distracted and the corner slice doesn’t have indoor seating,” you said, eying the bottles she was pulling from her bag, dabbing a cotton ball on the top. “What’s that?” 

“Makeup remover,” She hummed, her fingers catching your chin and tilting it so she had a better view of the offending red on your lips. “It must be waterproof, so this is the only thing that will get it off unless you want to dye the sheets red,”

Your nose scrunched at the acrid smell on the cotton ball as she very gently began to swipe it against your lips. You let your eyes slide closed, trying to ignore how small it made you feel. Trying to ignore how much it reminded you of when you were little. 

But it was too late.

You could feel the ghosts of her hands drawing across your cheeks in quick, practiced movements, and practically hear Alex’s “hold still little monkey,” ringing in your ears. You could see the soft smile that always played at her lips and the way her blue eyes focused as she helped you. 

“Hold still little monkey, I’ll be quick. I promise,” 

They were memories you didn’t want to remember. They brought a warm, protected feeling to your chest that you wanted to forget. 

The betrayal that followed would hurt less if you forgot if you didn’t remember the safety and care that had never been a question before it. The feelings that you were searching for in one bed or another. The feelings that you were convinced you would never feel again.

But then you met Taylor, and she made you want to believe you were wrong. 

“You’re good to go,” Christen said, pulling you back to reality. 

Your eyes blinked open, and you sent her a charming smile as you pulled away. “Thanks,”

She nodded back at you, watching you for a long minute like she wanted to say something she wasn’t sure about. 

“What?”

“Your hair is sticking up,” Christen quirked a small smile at you, and your eyes flickered toward the mirror, frowning.

You were sure that’s now what she was going to say, but you were grateful that she didn’t voice whatever thought she had.

But she was right. Amongst the mop of curls you had been letting grow since the undercut disaster of the 2015 World Cup, several were sticking up at strange angles. The one at the crown of your head standing straight up in a semi-hilarious impression of alfalfa from the little rascals. It was probably due to the water and wax that you always wore on game days to keep it out of your eyes mixing. 

They would be a bitch to fix in the morning if they dried like that. Maybe you would just wear a beanie over them instead of putting in the effort to fix them. Or maybe you would just chop them all off again.  

You reached for one of the small white hand towels, tossing it over your wild, tangled, soaked curls and dropping your pants with the other in a fluid motion. “I should dry off,”

Christen rolled her eyes, entirely used to your antics after spending a season in a locker room with you, and many more of being on the national team. She was just thankful you had a bra and boxers on. “And maybe get rid of the sex hair so the media doesn’t have a field day,” 

You wiggled your eyebrows at her, pushing her towards the bathroom door. “Well, what would they do with my reputation then,” 

Realize you’re not what you present yourself as Christen thought wryly. 

She wondered if Taylor had figured that out yet too. That you hid your sunshiney personality under a brash and untrusting exterior. 

The girl had gone chasing after you in the rain after all, so maybe, just maybe, she saw you for what you really were. And hopefully, she was prepared to give you what you needed. 

What you clearly didn’t feel you had the right to crave. 

******

November 2016

Windows flung right open, autumn air, 

Jacket ‘round my shoulders is yours

It was a strange feeling, being on the East Coast and it feeling like home. 

You had been raised on the West Coast. You spent the majority of your time in the center of the country, but somehow, you found yourself craving the crisp autumn air that only existed in the east. 

There was the possibility that you were just drawn to the city. That you were addicted to how into the game fans got, starting up chants for you even though you were on the opposing team. But there was also the slight chance that your new-found love of the city was directly tied to one of its most beloved inhabitants. 

You and Taylor had only grown impossibly closer in the time since the kiss. The flirty texts between the two of you were more frequent as were the half-dressed locker room photos and videos of you dancing at practice. The calls had also increased to the point where you almost always fell asleep listening to her slow breathing, and woke up to a good morning. 

But despite your increasing closeness, the two of you hadn’t defined what you were. And you had absolutely no clue where you stood. 

You pulled your knee closer to your chest, resting your cleat-covered foot on the bench next to you, and undoing the three special knots you always put in your custom red laces. 

You were thankful that camp was over. That you would get to spend some time in the city after the win. 

“Is there a reason you were terrorizing Colombia? Or was it just for fun?” Emily smirked, appearing on the bench next to you. 

You raised your eyebrows at her, a cocky smile pulling at your lips. “Do I need to have a reason to play well?”

“No,” Emily shrugged. 

It wasn’t your fault that their entire back line had crumbled under your and Alex’s pressure. It wasn’t your fault that Christen had cut through them collecting the balls you sent her way. 

It wasn’t your fault that the keeper had missed the chance to save 4 of your shots. 

“The crowd certainly enjoyed the display,” Rose added, sitting on your other side, effectively trapping you between them. “Just seems like your celebrations were a little too on the nose for you not to be… directing them at someone,” 

You rolled your eyes. Just because you blew a kiss towards a section of the stands after your 3rd goal, didn’t mean that it had been directed. And just because the chanting of your name only got louder after that didn’t mean it had been for them. 

Well, it didn’t have to mean it was directed, even if you did have a person in mind to receive it. 

No one else had to know that. 

“It was the section who did the Morgan magic chant,” You mumbled, pulling off your cleat and lining it next to the fancy pair of Vans you had chosen for tonight. 

“Got a hot date?” Emily asked, nudging your shoulder with her own as Rose turned from the two of you and became engrossed in a conversation with Sam. 

“Something like that,” You mumbled, moving on to your other cleat. “I’m still not sure… where I stand. With my friend.”

“The one you’ve been sending half-naked photos to?” Emily wiggled her eyebrows at you. 

You would never live down the after-training snapshots you had taken or the pictures from the weight room that you had sent off. 

You nodded reluctantly. “We’ve been more flirty since September,”

“Since the kiss?” She asked, watching as you shed your game shorts and grabbed a pair of jeans instead of your usual post-game sweats. 

“Yes,” You nodded, pausing for a second and biting your lip. “But I just… I’m going to fuck this up,” 

You ran a hand through your messy hair, still damp from the post-game shower. 

“You’re not,” Emily rolled her eyes, and she stole your shirt from your locker before you could pull it over your head, forcing you to look at her. “You’re doing pretty well so far. Just don’t make it complicated,” 

You met her eyes, swallowing hard. 

“Just go with it,” You repeated her own advice back to her. 

You were just having dinner and a movie night with Taylor. It would be familiar. Easy. 

It didn’t have to be complicated. 

“Exactly,” She agreed, tossing your shirt at you. “You seem to be going with the flow pretty well,” 

You pulled the green material over your head, reaching into your locker for your trusty hair wax, rubbing it between your hands, and trying to smooth out your hair. 

You glanced down at your phone when it buzzed. “Speaking of going with it, I’ve gotta go,” 

You slid the device into your pocket along with your wallet and hooked your fancy watch on your wrist. You shoved your feet into your Vans and sending a wink towards Sonnett. 

“I’ll make sure your bag makes it to Kelley. Tell Taylor I said hello,” She smirked, patting your back as you headed towards the locker room door. 

You looked over your shoulder at her. “No,” 

Before slamming the locker room door shut. 

You turned the corner, finding a quiet place in the hall, and leaned against the cool brick of the stadium, hoping no one would see you. 

Maybe you had directed your hat trick kiss towards where you knew a specific person was watching. 

You pulled your phone out of your pocket and opened your messages. 

You loved Emily, and Rose. You really did, but their propensity for butting in while you were texting had been particularly grating after they found out who you were sending messages to. 

They had already gotten a hold of your phone twice. Once they tried to call her and the second they sent a string of cryptic texts that had Taylor convinced you had gotten hurt at practice. It took you almost 3 hours to convince her that you were actually fine. You had even had to put her on the phone with Luke from the physical therapy staff to convince her that she didn’t need to fly in from Nashville early. After that, you stopped texting around them altogether and changed your password to a 37-digit code. 

Plus, Mal glared at you whenever you were on your phone. 

Athena 👸🏼: Tony and Jason are taking me to the back tunnel by the car. Do you want to meet us there, or do you want us to meet you somewhere else?

Your eyebrows pulled tightly together and you looked away from your phone and down the long hallway. 

You certainly didn’t want her to be anywhere near the locker room where your sister and your nosey teammates were. You weren’t ready to… share Taylor with them yet. You weren’t ready to answer questions when you weren’t even sure where you stood with her. 

Your relationship felt… fragile… and you weren’t ready to mess that up yet. 

Soccer hottie ⚽️: Stay put, I’ll meet you there. 

You pushed yourself off the wall, turning to your left and strolling down the maze of hallways. You didn’t need to look at the signs to know which way to go, you had been to Red Bull (and snuck out of it with company you wanted to keep away from prying eyes) enough that you had the layout memorized. 

“Hey hotshot,” 

“Hey,” You smiled widely as you rounded the corner and Tony came into view. 

You had been seeing him far more frequently since the kiss. Part of you thought it was because he just lived near you in Chicago. He liked the same smoothie place you did and frequented the same restaurants. 

But a smaller part of you wondered if Taylor had something to do with it. 

“I thought you would be waiting with Tay,” You said as he squeezed your arm, pulling your overnight bag from your shoulder and slinging it over his own. 

“She sent me to come find you,” Tony said, a teasing smirk pulling at his features. 

You knew it wasn’t you he was teasing. 

“I don’t need a babysitter,” You sighed, running a hand through your still-damp hair, brushing the unruly curls from in front of your eyes. 

“She was impatient,” He shrugged, unbothered by (or entirely used to) your protest, gesturing to the barely noticeable clear earpiece in his right ear. “I offered to find you and give her an eta,” 

The wire disappeared down the back of his shirt where you were sure it connected to a radio. You rolled your eyes. 

Maybe you should be flattered that she wanted live updates of your whereabouts, but you couldn’t help the sinking feeling in your chest that she didn’t think you were capable of making it to the car tunnel on your own. 

“I told her I was on my way like 2 minutes ago,” You huffed, glancing behind you. 

You hadn’t taken long after the game to exit the field. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. You finished the obligatory lap and then stayed to sign autographs for the fans that had cheered for you all game. 

You rushed through the showers after Vlatko’s post-game droning and changed quickly. 

“I know,” Tony agreed, falling into step beside you as you continued down the corridor. “She’s just excited to see you. You put on quite the show,” 

You wiggled your eyebrows. “The crowd got into it and that made scoring and setting up my friends more fun,” 

Tony made a low humming noise as he stepped in front of you, pushing open the double doors that led to the private car tunnel so you didn’t have to. 

You barely stepped through before a body collided with yours. 

Your hands caught Taylor’s hips as you stumbled, and she wrapped you in a very tight hug. 

“I missed you,” She mumbled, and you felt a hand on your back to steady the two of you. 

You hummed, tucking your nose into her collarbone and squeezing her. “I missed you too,” 

It was true. 

It had only been six weeks since the last time you saw her in person, and you talked at least once a day, but it was a feeling of longing that saturated your being. Her presence was a deep… need that seeped into your bones. 

It was a little alarming how… dependent you felt.

The two of you embraced for another long moment, and you let the smell of coconut and lavender from her perfume wash over your senses and soothe the post-game dip that always prickled your brain. 

“You played so so well,” She said, pulling away, a wide smile radiating off of her.

You let your own cocky grin pull across your features. “Thanks, I like to get the crowd fired up,” 

“They were electric,” She hummed, letting her hand trail down your arm and landing lightly on your stomach. 

You opened your mouth to respond, but Your stomach ruined the moment with a loud rumble. 

Taylor frowned. “Have you eaten today?” 

“Not really. I had lunch and then just a protein bar and a veggie shake,” You shrugged, sending a guilty look her way. “I don’t like to have a lot in my stomach during games,” 

It was a bad habit you had picked up in highschool after a very hot game in August ended up with your pasta lunch making a reappearance in a sideline trash can. 

“There’s a fantastic Italian place by mine?” Taylor offered, almost shyly as your stomach rumbled again against her hand. 

You leaned in and pressed a very sweet kiss to her lips, unable to resist, and enjoying the light red that dusted her cheeks. 

Your hand slipped into her back pocket, and you sent her a cheeky smile. “Lead the way then,”

OoOoOoO

Dinner with Taylor was absolutely incredible. Well, confusing for you, but amazing nonetheless. 

The restaurant she had chosen was small, intimate, and expensive. You looked through the entire menu, choosing the cheapest pasta you could find, even though you fucking hated pesto because it was the only dish that wouldn’t mean you would have to raid the Chicago locker room for snacks when you got back. 

It hadn’t mattered because Taylor paid anyway. 

Conversation flowed between the two of you like water. It was so easy to talk to Taylor, and you were slowly growing addicted to making her laugh. 

It was exactly like it had been before the two of you shared the kiss(s) until you got back into the car. 

She had been very… handsey in the ride back. And you had been handsey too, your fingers dipping past her skirt to squeeze her ass at every opportunity. 

Things hadn't slowed down in the elevator, and you had attacked her neck as she fished out the key to her apartment. 

You were growing addicted to the taste of her skin as well. 

She pressed you into the island, her lips dragging down your neck and towards your collarbone as soon as you were through the door. 

That’s when the anxiety clenched in your stomach, thinking of the way your heart pounded in your ears when you walked out of the tunnel and into a stadium, your eyes trained on the jersey numbers in front of you. 

You needed a way to slow her down. To… delay the inevitable. 

You saw your pale, terrified face in the reflection of her sliding glass door, and it felt like a lightbulb flashing in your brain. 

“Want to go swimming?” You asked suddenly, and her hands paused on your waist as her lips ghosting just over your pulse point. 

“What?”

You felt her lips curl into a frown against your skin.  

“I didn’t take my post-game ice bath,” You said, pulling away, so you could meet her eyes and gesturing towards the city lights glinting off of her infinity pool. “and your pool should be cold enough,” 

Her eyebrows knitted tightly together. “You want to go swimming in October, in New York? Wouldn’t you rather continue this?”

You shrugged, painting a charming smile across your face (hoping she wouldn’t see through it).  “When else will we be able to enjoy a view like this,”

Her lips turned even further down, and your heart beat a little bit faster. 

You didn’t want her to think you were rejecting her. You weren’t. You just…

“You don’t even have a bathing suit,” She said softly, and you could hear the hesitation in her voice. The concern. 

You needed to redirect her. To make her think that everything was ok so you didn’t lose her. 

“I don’t need one,” You wiggled your eyebrows and caught her fingers, tugging her towards the sliding glass door. “Come on,”

The view was even better from outside, the lights of the city twinkling in time with the stars and reflecting off of the pool back at you. 

“Let me at least turn on the pool lights,” She grumbled, reaching for a small remote on one of the lounge chairs. “Wouldn’t want you to miss the edge and get hurt before the end of the season,” 

You smirked, releasing her while she squinted at the clicker. 

***SECTION CONTAINING SLIGHT SMUT***

You easily slipped out of your shorts and pulled your shirt over your head, leaving you in a pair of boxers and your sports bra as you stepped towards the infinity pool. “Don’t mess with it for too long,” 

You didn’t wait for her to respond before diving into the icy water. 

It immediately prickled at your skin like a million tiny needles, pulling the air from your lungs and giving you the sensation of the world's worst brain freeze. You kept your eyes closed, forcing yourself to relax against the painful assault, letting yourself sink to the glacial blue tiles on the bottom of her pool. 

You could visualize the heat seeping out of you and into the shimmering floor, and you allowed yourself to give in to the sensation. To imagine it was the tension in your muscles, the aches that always came after a game, slowly leaching into your frigid surroundings. 

Letting the water numb your anxious mind until all that was left was a serene sense of calm. 

It felt familiar. Good in a masochistic sort of way that you couldn’t accurately put into words. 

Your brain absentmindedly reached its countdown from 45, and you pushed yourself off of the bottom. 

You let out a long breath as your head broke the surface, wiping your curls out of your eyes, and turning towards Taylor. 

She was at the edge of the pool, the remote hanging loosely in her hand, her wide eyes glinting off of the fairy lights strung along the balcony and over the pool. 

“You coming?” You asked, plastering a playful smirk across your lips. “Or are you just going to stare?”

Her mouth opened and closed, reminding you of a fish. 

You rolled your eyes, gilded towards her, stopping at her feet and looking up at her through your lashes. 

You dragged your fingers along the seam in the tiles and gently laid your hand on her foot, trying not to smirk at the shiver that ran down her spine. “It’s kinda lonely in here,” 

She blinked at you, slowly pulling her shirt over her head and dropping it behind her. 

You couldn’t help the way your eyes dragged down the newly exposed skin of her collarbone, between her breasts, and down to the waistband of her jeans where she was thumbing the button there. 

All of your attention was glued to her as she slid the material down her long legs, revealing creamy skin that made your mouth water accented by the deep blue material of her underwear. 

It stirred butterflies in your chest like the sight of no other woman had. You wanted her like you had never wanted anyone. 

Not even Mal. 

“It’s unfair how hot you are,” Taylor mumbled, settling on the edge of the pool, her legs bracketing you as she slid them into the frigid water. 

You ran your fingers up her calves and onto her thighs. “You’re not bad yourself,” 

She rolled her eyes, reaching down and smoothing your curls off of your forehead, dragging her hands down your face to cup your cheeks. Her bottom lip disappeared between her teeth. “It’s criminal how much you show your abs during games,” 

You shrugged, floating closer to her and letting your thumb toy with the elastic on her underwear. “Sweat burns when it’s in my eyes. Plus the fans like it, and so do you,”

Taylor made a low noise, drawing you closer to her, so you could feel her breath on your lips. “You’re a tease you know?” 

“You dig it,” You smirked, leaning in the final centimeter to connect your lips in a slow kiss. 

You couldn’t help the low sound that came out of the back of your throat as her tongue gently pressed against your lips, and you opened them to meet her. 

She tasted like red wine and strawberries and something that was so… Taylor. 

It was sweet and spicy and addictive. 

And it made you want her. 

You pulled away when air became an issue, trailing down her cheek to her neck, under her chin, and lavishing the skin you found down by her pulse point with your tongue. You enjoyed the way you could feel her heartbeat, how you could feel it quicken under your ministrations. 

You tried to keep your mind focused as you made your way down her neck, to her chest. You tried to focus on the softness of her skin and to memorize the way it tasted. To imprint in your mind how your tongue glided in velvet skin. 

You tried not to let your thoughts drift towards how a soccer ball felt at your feet. How you were still working on how to twist your hips to not give away which direction you were going to kick. How you needed to point your toes to perform the newest trick you were learning. 

Her fingers tangled in your hair, weaving through the wet curls close to your scalp and pulling you impossibly closer. 

You mouthed the edge of her bra, placing feather light kisses in a line between her breasts (paying special attention to the barely visible freckle you found there), ghosting down her stomach, and landing on the elastic of her underwear, letting her hand guide you where she wanted you. 

You looked up at her, meeting her hazy blue eyes. “Are you sure?” 

Her fingers tightened, pleasantly scratching your scalp. “I’ve never been more sure,” 

Your lips tilted into a devilish grin, your body sipping lower into the frigid water. “As you wish,” 

*****

Taylor panted heavily against you, each breath warming your neck as you spun in slow circles in the cold water. Her legs wrapped tightly around your waist, and your hand worked slowly between your bodies, bringing her down from her orgasm. 

You had lost track of what number she was on. Actually, you had lost track of pretty much everything after her underwear came off. 

It didn’t matter how hard you fought to stay present, you couldn’t help the way your brain slipped away. How your thoughts slid from Taylor the second you were level with her center. How the all-encompassing butterflies in your stomach fluttered away and you faded into familiar sensations and your thoughts turned to soccer. 

You knew it was weird to be working through a double-pivot formation while you were having sex. It was weird for you to be thinking about ball rotations and through passes or lineups for upcoming games while you were getting a girl off. 

Except it’s where your mind always went. 

Taylor made a low noise against your throat, and your fingers stopped gliding through her velvety folds. Your other arm tightened around her as you pulled your hand away, bringing it to your lips and lightly sucking your fingers. 

You sighed at the taste, sweet, salty, and a little tangy, happy that Taylor's pool was salt water instead of chlorine. It would have made this entire experience much less enjoyable. 

“Don’t do that,” Taylor said, her nose nudging the space under your chin. 

“Hm?” You hummed around your finger, your abs flexing as she shifted. 

She reached for your wrist, pulling your finger from your lips. “I need a minute before I can go again, and you make it hard to wait,”

You leaned in and connected your lips, your tongue probing at her bottom lip and gently slid your tongue in when she parted her lips. Her hips rolled and you flexed your abs to give her a better surface. 

“I can’t help it,” You smirked as you pulled away. “You just taste so good,”

She shivered against you, but you weren’t sure if it was from overstimulation or the cold. 

“Come on, let’s get cleaned up,” You said, walking towards the pool stairs. “And you can recover,” 

Her legs tightened around you as you carried her up the steps, and her head rested on your shoulder. “I forgot how strong you are,” 

You made a low noise, focusing on your feet so you didn’t slip and send you both back into the freezing pool. 

“Where is your bathroom?” You asked, carefully sliding her glass door open and stepping into her apartment. “I don’t want to get water everywhere,” 

“Down the hall to the left,” She said, lifting an arm to gesture down the hallway, but not moving her head from its safe space between your neck and shoulder. “It’s through my bedroom,”

You nodded, easily making your way through the hallway, across the dark carpet of her bedroom, and into the massive master bathroom. 

You set her down on the Marble counter you found there, placing a light kiss on her head before you turned away towards the giant bathtub, and began fiddling with the golden faucets. 

It took you a second to make the water a good temperature and to flick the drain plug before you returned to her, slotting between her legs again.

“Do you want a drink or something?” You asked as she pulled you back in for another kiss.

“I’d love one,” She breathed against your lips. “I have wine in the fridge,” 

“I’ll go get it,” You hummed. “You just stay here and look pretty,” 

Her mouth curved against yours, and you finally pulled away, kissing her nose before you padded off toward the kitchen (ignoring how she tapped your ass as you left). 

It felt like a weight left your chest as you exited her bedroom, and you took a long breath as you made it to the kitchen. 

There had to be something fucking wrong with you. 

You had a naked woman two rooms over. A woman who had gone skinny dipping with you. A woman who was recovering so you could give her another orgasm. And here you were, doing your best to stall. Trying to quell the growing dread in your stomach. 

You shook your head, going to the wine fridge and pulling out the half-full bottle of red you were sure was the one Taylor wanted. You also grabbed two water bottles and found a wine glass in the cabinet. 

Just because you had hooked up with her… were actively hooking up with her… didn’t mean that she wanted your relationship to change. 

You took another deep breath. 

Being weird about any of this would just make it worse. 

You could be normal. 

You could save your friendship. 

You turned from the kitchen, slowly making your way back to the bathroom. 

Taylor smiled softly at you when you returned, holding out her arms to you. “I can’t believe you never took your clothing off,” 

You painted an easy smirk on your lips, setting the bottles and glass down on the counter before, letting her wrap her arms around you. “You were distracted,” 

She hummed. “You’re… very good with your hands,” 

You wiggled your eyebrows, leaning in to peck her lips before you turned away. You turned off the water in the tub and held your hand out for her. “Get in first. I’ll pour you some wine and join you. This way I can show you the other things my hands are good at,” 

She rolled her eyes, but let you guide her into the tub, sighing as she immersed herself in the warm water. 

You waited for her to get settled before you poured her half a glass of wine and passed it her way, and you grabbed a bottle of water for yourself, cracking it open and taking a very long sip. 

Taylor made another low sound, and you felt her eyes on you, following every movement. You flexed your arm and abs for effect as you finished off the bottle. 

You smirked at her as you pulled it away from your Lips, setting it on the counter. “Lean forward so I can get into the tub,” 

She eyed you, shaking her head. “This is a clothing-free zone,” 

“Is it?” You asked, cocking your head to the side. 

She hummed. “It is. I can’t believe you still have boxers and a bra on,” 

“You were distracted,” You shrugged smirking devilishly at her, placing the bottle on the counter and easily slipping out of your soaked boxers. “Something about the water being too cold,” 

“Try freezing,” She huffed, her eyes tracing the newly exposed skin of your thighs (your muscles standing out because of the cold), up towards your hips, taking a large sip of her wine. “But you warmed me up,”

“I’m good at that,” You murmured, pulling your bra over your head and stepping towards the tub. “Please lean forward so I can get in,” you 

“You are,” She breathed out as you slid into the tub behind her. She shifted so your thighs could encapsulate hers. 

Your arms wrapped gently around her middle, your palm laying flat on her stomach and your chin resting on her shoulder. 

You would have laughed at Taylor being the little spoon (because you were the shorter of the two of you), but you liked holding her. You also liked that the only places she could reach were your arms and legs. 

Safe territory. 

Territory that put you in control of the pace. 

“It’s unfair how you look so good, and how good you are,” She let out another breath, wiggling so her back was pressed more tightly against your front. 

You made a low sound, rubbing your hand up and down her stomach, your fingers just barely brushing her pelvic bone on each pass. 

You didn’t like how… pronounced they were. It was something you knew you would have to address at some point but now did not feel like the right time. 

“You’re pretty gorgeous yourself,” You murmured into her neck, kissing behind her ear, and letting your lips travel lower to the special spot you had found near her pulse point. 

Her head tilted to give you more room, and her hands fell to where your knees were bracketing hers just below the steamy water. She pressed very gently into a dark bruise forming on your calf from a mistimed tackle. “You have no idea what you do to me. How much those stupid videos your teammates are always taking make me want you,”

You smirked against the soft skin of her neck, letting your tongue linger for a long second as your left hand dipped even lower on her stomach. 

You knew the videos she was talking about. The ones that always seemed to catch you with your shirt off because you preferred to train that way. You hated when the damp material of your training top clung to you, so you normally forgoed one unless the media team was filming some behind-the-scenes stuff. 

“I’ll have to send you my own videos now that I know you like them,” You said, dragging your lips up her neck towards her ear, and very gently letting your teeth close around the soft tissue. 

She released a shakier breath as your fingers found her clit, and began rubbing very gentle circles. “I’d like that,” 

“You got it,” You hummed, pressing a little harder, and dipping down towards the heat that had nothing to do with the bath water while your other hand sliding up to her chest to toy with her nipple 

You smirked when her wine glass shook dangerously, the red liquid tipping out of the top as your fingers curled, pressing into the very special patch inside her. 

It reminded you of when a ball tipped off of a keeper's fingers. How it bobbled before landing back on the grass. How you always held your breath to see if it would land on the right side of the goal line. 

It was the perk of playing in Chicago, you supposed, that you had Alyssa as your starting keeper. You always felt like the ball was safe in her hands. You felt comfortable taking chances because you knew she was capable of cleaning up any messes you made. That her and JJ would protect the goal well enough that you could push forward. 

Taylor tensed around your fingers, and the glass finally fell, landing thankfully in the water instead of crashing to the ground outside of the tub. 

You kept your pace as she rode out her orgasm, your eyes focused on the red dissipating into the water until she finally relaxed against you. You finally pulled away when you were sure she was finished, kissing behind her ear and listening to her labored breathing as she came down. 

Her head turned, and you laid a kiss on her cheek. “You made me spill my wine,” 

“Oops,” You chuckled, not at all sorry, tweaking her nipple again before letting go and resting your hands on her stomach. 

She giggled in response, swatting your knee and then soothing her hand over a large bruise forming just below it. “Behave,” 

“I’m not known for behaving,” You said as she reached over and grabbed the fallen glass before either of you could accidentally break it. “It’s why the equipment staff are always following me around with extra shirts,” 

“Try for me?” She asked, her lips curving into a smile you hadn’t seen her send to anyone else, making you melt. “I don’t think I have any more orgasms into me tonight,” 

“Whatever you want,” You agreed, laying another kiss on her cheek. 

She hummed, leaning back into you, and you tightened your arms around her. 

You wondered if you should suggest that the two of you clean up and get ready for bed, but you didn’t even know if she wanted you to stay. You didn’t know if you would be welcome now that the two of you were done. 

You had never not snuck out after. You didn’t know how any of this worked, and you were too afraid to ask. 

“Just give me a few minutes and I’ll return the favor,” She mumbled. “You deserve it,” 

You shook your head, tucking your nose in the space between her neck and shoulder. “I’m good. I got enough watching you,” 

She sucked in a breath.“Are you sure?” 

You hummed, kissing the junction where her neck and shoulder met. “I’m good. I’m with you,” 

It was the truth. 

It was easier this way. You knew how to deal with things this way. 

She made a low noise of agreement. “Let’s just sit for a bit then, and then we can get cleaned up and go to bed,”

“Whatever you want,” You placed another kiss on her velvety skin, content to follow her lead. 

Maybe you would get to keep your friendship after all. 

***END OF SLIGHT SMUT***

OoOoOoO

Mornings were always your favorite. 

You loved the way soft light fluttered through curtains, casting a candle-like glow on the room around you. The way the oranges and yellows melted into brilliant white, chasing away the darkness like lanterns in a cavern.

It reminded you of when you were little, cuddled up to Alex after a nightmare. She would run a hand through your hair, and tell you stories into the early hours of the morning, insisting that tales of Knights and Princesses could chase away the monsters that haunted your dreams. 

“Just close your eyes monkey. I’ll protect you. Always,”

She made you feel safe. The rise and fall of her chest allowing your restless mind to relax.

It was no different here in Taylor’s bed, wrapped in perfect white sheets, her arm draped around your middle, her head resting on your shoulders, and her soft breaths tickling your neck at each exhale. Your bodies were pressed together, and you could feel her bare legs tangled with yours. 

She made you feel safe and warm and like you mattered and that fucking terrified you. 

It kept you up long after Taylor’s breathing turned deep and heavy, staring at the ceiling like it would give you the answers you were searching for. 

You kept your arm wrapped around her, your fingers playing with the very tips of her hair and drawing shapes on the skin of her bare back. 

You had to fight the urge to flee as soon as you were sure she was asleep. The urge that you had always indulged with your hookups. The one that meant you would never have to face the consequences of a hookup. 

But Taylor wasn’t a hookup. 

Even if she didn’t want a relationship, if you got to hold her like this, then you would accept whatever little part of herself she was willing to give you. And that terrified you too. 

You promised yourself you wouldn’t do this again after-. 

You let out a long breath from your nose. 

It wasn’t fair for you to think about that… relationship. If you could call it that. 

You should go before Taylor woke up. Escape before you ruined this like you ruined that. 

“I can feel you thinking,” Taylor mumbled against your neck, her lips tickling your skin. 

“Sorry,” You murmured, running your fingers very gently over the skin of her back and laying a kiss on the top of her head. “Go back to sleep, it’s still early,” 

She shifted against your shoulder, tired blue eyes peering up at you. “What time is it?”

You squinted at the clock on her bedside table. “Just after 6,” 

She groaned. “Why are you awake?”

“Habit,” You said, looking back up at her ceiling, ending the debate in your brain. “I have to go to team recovery?”

It wasn’t a total lie. You did have to pick up your kit bag from the hotel, and you liked to do morning jogs after games to work out your muscles, but really, you needed… separation to quell the monster threatening to rip your lungs into pieces. 

You didn’t know how to not ruin your friendship. How to navigate your feelings without losing her. 

You needed to go for a run, to feel the ache in your chest and your legs to help you figure out what the fuck you were supposed to do. But at the same time, you didn’t want to leave. 

You refused to let her become another hookup. You would just run for a few hours and then return. 

You weren’t running like you did with the others. You were just… catching your breath. You were just getting your head straight. 

“The cold plunge you took last night wasn’t recovery enough?” Taylor asked, smirking up at you. 

You let your lips pull to match her expression. “Unfortunately no, but I can bring lunch back here when I’m done?” 

“I think that sounds like a fair trade,” She said, leaning up on her arm and pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. 

“Does it?” You wiggled your eyebrows at her. 

“Hmm,” She made a low sound, connecting your lips again. “Do you have time for a shower before you go?”

You chased her lips with a teasing smirk as she pulled away. “I think that can be arranged,” 

OoOoOoO

“Is there a reason you’re running a one-woman marathon, or are you just trying to make it impossible for Al to beat you this week?” Kelley’s voice cut through the running commentary in your head, and you blinked up at her from where she stood on the steps next to a big Chelsea market sign. 

You glanced down at the smartwatch on your wrist. You didn’t remember putting it on. It had become such a normal part of your morning routine that you didn’t think about putting it on anymore. You had honestly forgotten that Alex was getting alerts about your run until Kelley mentioned it. 

You tried not to think about the connection it had to your sister. You only paid attention to the stupid app when it alerted you that you were losing anyway. 

“Is that why you decided to join me?”

“I know you like the Chelsea market and running the high line,” Kelley said too casually, falling into step beside you. “I joined you because you and your sister only run long distances when something is bothering you, and I thought you would prefer me over Alex,”

You glanced at her, but she adamantly kept her eyes ahead of her. It felt purposeful like she didn’t want you to know she was watching you. 

You were very glad that Alex hadn’t decided to come herself, or that she had been talked out of it. 

“And you thought I’d want to talk,” 

Kelley shook her head. “No, but I do have a way with Morgan women, and I figured I’d support you,”

“Hmm,” You hummed, unable to stop the slight smile that cracked across your face. 

She would never let it go that she was basically your celebrity crush before you met her. You had been obsessed with college soccer when you were young, and Stanford had always been your favorite team. 

While things had changed significantly since her and your sister started dating (and you actually met her), she thought it was hilarious that both of you had been in love with her at some point. She also thought it was hilarious that she was you quote-unquote gay awakening, but you really didn’t like to think about that. 

You let out a long breath as the two of you jogged another few blocks, enjoying the sounds of the city around you. It was strange, but you already associated the city with Taylor. 

“There’s a girl that I really like,” You mumbled, as you both passed a dumpling stand. “I stayed the night,”

Kelley made a low sound next to you. They all knew you met up with someone, but no one knew exactly how that night turned out. And you staying was kind of unheard of. “And you two slept together?” 

You opened your mouth to answer but closed it quickly. Did it count if you never took your clothes off? Did it count if you didn’t let her touch you?

“You got her off like with the others?” Kelley amended, after a quick glance your way. 

“Yes. Then I stayed, and we cuddled,” You admitted, your voice going very soft. “All night,” 

You felt like you were in a weird dichotomy. Sex with Taylor was supposed to feel different because you felt so deeply for her. 

You thought it would because the before was so romantic. You thought it would because you wanted her like you had never wanted anyone before. 

But the act itself had felt… almost routine. It was like you were on autopilot. It was the same as it had been with every other girl you had been with. 

Her body responded the same way theirs had, and it had been so easy to get lost in your own head. 

It was only when she pulled you to her chest afterward. When she kissed your cheek and let you wash her hair before you got out of the bath. When she held you for the entire night, you ran your fingers down the line of her spine. 

It proved that she wasn’t like the others, and you let yourself enjoy the intimacy. It was why you stayed. 

She was still your friend. 

You spat the word in your mind. 

You didn’t want to end up in the no man’s land between friend and more than friend. Not again, the first time nearly ended in disaster, saved only by your mutual love of soccer and the goal of winning the World Cup.

You and Taylor didn’t share the same… uniting factor. 

And with the feelings bubbling in your chest, you knew you would never have the strength to walk away if that's what she asked of you. 

“So this is more than a one-nighter?” Kelley asked though she was already sure of the answer. 

“I think?” You nodded. “I’ve never…I don’t know how to do this, so I called Emily for advice,” 

Kelley’s nose scrunched. She knew how close you and the blonde defender were, especially since the two of you had been going to youth camps together since she could remember. She also knew that Emily knew more about the mysterious Taylor than she did. 

“This is the hypothetical friend that you didn’t think you were dating who had never had a burrito?” 

You hummed again, smiling at one of the dollar slice guys as you passed his little alcove. “I don't want to fuck this up, and I thought Emily would help. She didn’t,” 

“What did Emily say?” Kelley pushed. 

Your shoulders lifted and fell. “To just go with it,” 

Kelley couldn’t help her frown. That had to be the worst advice known to man, and Sonnett should have known. “So you slept with her, even when you weren’t sure you wanted to?”

“I wanted to,” You said, your voice going very soft. “I just…-“

You didn’t know how to explain that you got so caught up in your head that the experience felt like every other. That it was robotic and routine and expected. 

“It felt… generic…when I did it to her. It’s not supposed to be routine when I do it to her.” 

Kelley caught your arm and pulled you to a stop. 

“Sex isn’t something you do to someone. It’s something you do with them,” She said seriously, brown eyes boring into yours like she was trying to read your mind. “It’s a mutual activity,” 

It was a terrifying prospect that you didn’t know that, and it sent red flags twirling in Kelley’s head, especially when you shrugged it off. 

“I like her, so it was supposed to feel different,” You muttered, pulling your arm out of her grasp when the crosswalk sign came on. 

It was supposed to be emotional and you were supposed to feel connected. You should have been so hyper-focused on every movement, every twitch of her body that the world faded into nonexistence. 

You shouldn’t have had to stop yourself from running through lineups in your head halfway through. You shouldn’t have felt like the only important part of the experience was the finish. 

What the fuck was wrong with you?

She sighed but followed after you as you jogged across the street. “And it didn’t?”

“Before did,” You said, keeping your eyes focused on the sidewalk in front of you. “And so did after,” 

“But the middle?” She asked. 

You shook your head, unwilling to put into words that you were too defective for it to be anything more than a quick fuck. 

Taylor deserved better, especially since the way she held you made you feel so… safe. The way she cuddled into you made you feel loved. More loved than your tongue could ever make her feel. 

“And that freaked you out?” Kelley asked, as you finally slowed your jog to a walk. 

You scratched the back of your neck, noting the annoying way your hair rubbed against the skin there. You really needed to get it cut. 

It wasn’t the connection that freaked you out, it was the prospect that you could now lose it. That you were fumbling around with no clue how to move forward, liable to fuck up something that had just started. 

You weren’t even sure if it was something. You had no clue where you stood. 

She looked at you like you weren’t a broken toy, and one misstep could prove her wrong and send her running. 

“I don’t know how to do this. It’s why I avoided sleeping with her in the first place. I was doing the friend thing well, and now… I have no idea what’s next,” You murmured, barely above a whisper. So quietly that you weren’t sure if Kelley heard you until her hand found your arm and gently pulled you to a stop yet again. 

“I think we can agree that Emily’s advice wasn’t great,” She started, making eye contact with you, and squeezing your arm gently. “I think what you should focus on are the things you do like to do with this girl. Do those take slow steps, and communicate with her. It’s a relationship, not a race,” 

“Slow steps,” You repeated, turning the words over in your mind. 

“Yes, and communication about what you like or don’t like and what you want or don’t want. Figuring out if you’re friends or more than friends would be a good place to start too,” The defender reiterated with a nod, emphasizing the back half of her sentence. 

She knew how much of a people pleaser you were, and how often you set aside your own feelings to make other people happy. If it happened with simple things like you refusing to stop Emily, Rose, and Lindsey’s teasing when it became too much because they were “still having fun” then she feared what other things you were willing to let go. 

You swallowed hard and matched her nod. 

You could do slow steps. 

You ran a hand through your sweaty hair, glancing around you. At least your slight crisis had landed you in Mulberry Street. 

“Do you wanna grab a snack before I head back? I told her I would bring her something for lunch after team recovery,” You asked, gesturing towards one of the many Italian restaurants surrounding you. 

Kelley raised an eyebrow at you. “You told this girl that you had training the day after a game and she believed you?” 

“I don’t think she knows that much about footy,” You shrugged. “She’s more of an American football fan,” 

Even if Taylor had played when she was young, you knew her knowledge was pretty limited. 

Kelley cracked a smile at you and nodded toward the restaurant you had pointed out. “As long as she’s not an Eagles fan, we’ll be fine then,”

You made a low sound of agreement knowing Kelley wasn’t as serious about Football teams as she was about premier league teams. Her main concern was that you were treated well after all anyway. 

OoOoOoO

You had calmed down significantly by the time you made it back to Taylor’s apartment, but Kelley had always had that effect on you. 

She had been the one who helped you breathe before your first cap (along with Alex, though you hated talking about it). She was the one who talked you down after you tore your Achilles during the World Cup. 

She always knew exactly what to say, and this was no different. She made you laugh and slipped in little pieces of advice without forcing you to ruminate on the situation. She made you believe that you could talk to Taylor and it would work. 

And as you sat across from Taylor while she snacked on the penne à la vodka you had picked up for her, your confidence didn’t waver. 

Kelley swore it would only take 5 seconds of bravery. 

“Are we dating now?”

Taylor paused, chewing her bite and swallowing as a perfect eyebrow arched in amusement. “Do you want us to be dating?”

You frowned, you hadn’t been expecting a question back. You thought it would be just a simple yes or no. 

“I think so,” You said slowly, meeting her eyes.  “I don’t know how to date,”

Her head cocked to the side. “You’ve never dated?” 

“Not really,” You shook your head, scratching the newly shortened hair at the back of your neck. “Besides a weird situationship, it’s all been one-nighters, so I’m not sure how any of this is supposed to work,” 

Taylor put her fork down, and she leaned a little closer to you, frowning. “Hold on, your realest relationship was a situationship?” 

“Yes,” You said sheepishly, your fingers digging more harshly into the back of your neck as you felt heat crawl up your cheeks all the way to your ears. 

“Why?”

It was asked with a giggle, but it didn’t rub you the wrong way. Taylor wasn’t making fun of you. 

You cleared your throat, eyes flickering away from her and back. “She was straight, and one of my friends,” 

It was a hard thing to admit, that you had fallen into a friends-with-benefits relationship with one of your closest friends, and that you hadn’t been able to keep your feelings locked away in a little box. You let things go too far. You let yourself believe that your favorite striker would leave her perfect boyfriend. 

You let yourself believe that she would return your feelings and pick you. 

She didn’t, and you had sworn off relationships after that. 

Why would you get involved when everyone always left?

“We were under a lot of pressure in the U20s and it was a good way to blow off steam,” You continued, your voice going soft. “Things just… went too far and ended messily,”

“Situationships usually do,” Taylor said gently, reaching across the island to place a careful hand on your arm. 

“We stayed friends though. We had to, because of the team” You murmured. “Eventually I just got over it,” 

Taylor hummed, her thumb lingering on a thick scar on the inside of your elbow. 

It seemed to her that a lot of your stories ended with you just getting over things. She wondered if you ever actually processed them, or if you just enjoyed pretending it never happened. 

“And now we link up really well,” You finished with a shrug, an easy smile returning to your features. “Anyway, back to the question. Are we dating?” 

Taylor felt her lips tilt up in return. “Again I’ll ask, do you want to be?”

“We’re going in circles,” You sighed, dragging your hand from the back of your neck up through your newly trimmed curls, thankful Kelley had stopped with you to get it cut on the way back to Taylor’s apartment. 

Taylor rolled her eyes. “Just answer the question,” 

Your nose scrunched. Had you not just explained that you didn’t know how to date? You didn’t even know what it entailed. 

How would things change? What would she expect? 

But she was looking at you with so much softness, so much… understanding. It made something tug in your chest. 

If you were going to try dating anyone, you wanted it to be her. 

“Yes,” You breathed out, fighting to keep your voice even and steady. 

“Then we’re dating,” Taylor shrugged, picking up her fork. “Easy,” 

“Easy,” You mimicked, trying to ignore Emily’s voice ringing in your head. 

It didn’t have to be complicated. 

[scarltzwitch]

CROSSING WORLDS, MEETING HEARTS — LOGAN HOWLETT.

❥ Summary: On what seemed like an ordinary night, Logan Howlett and Elena Stark meet by chance in a bar. After Logan steps in to protect Elena from a stranger, an unexpected connection forms between them. As they start seeing each other more often, their relationship catches the attention of the Avengers, who are surprised to learn that Logan is not only from another universe but also has extraordinary abilities and has won the heart of Tony Stark's daughter.

❥ Genre: Logan Howlett x Elena Stark ( Fem!OC )

The bar was full of life on a Saturday night, with laughter and the sound of clinking glasses filling the air. Logan was in a corner, his gaze fixed on the drink in front of him when everything changed. It wasn't the first time Wade had convinced him to go out with his group of friends to places like this, but this time, fate had something in store for him.

Elena was a beautiful young woman, of medium height, with her chestnut hair cascading down her back. Her oval face, delicate jawline, and defined cheekbones were on display. The young Stark was looking for a breather with her friends and her father after a day full of chaos. The world had been hard to recover after Thanos' attack, but it wasn’t impossible, and the Avengers deserved a great rest after saving the Planet and the Universe. Wade Wilson and his group of friends also needed a break after their exhausting battle against Cassandra.

After a few drinks, the Avengers, along with Tony and Pepper—Elena’s mother and now Tony's wife, also known as Morgan's mother, who was Elena’s younger sister—had decided to retire to their respective rooms, leaving the brunette alone, as she had decided to stay a little longer. She loved the place her father had chosen.

Half an hour later, the young Stark decided it was time to go home. She got up from her seat to head to the counter and pay, but unexpectedly, a man approached her with the intention of bothering her and ruining her evening. After trying to make the guy leave, Elena felt cornered. She had drunk a bit too much, but she was still aware of what was happening. Logan, without hesitation, decided to intervene and with his characteristic growl, managed to pull the young woman away from the man who was harassing her.

“She said to back off,” Logan warned as he grabbed the man by the neck, but that didn’t stop him from throwing a punch at the guy's face, scaring him off.

Elena, moved by the situation, clutched her purse tightly and looked at the man who had helped her. She decided to make the first move. “Thank you, you didn’t have to do that, but thank you,” she said with a slight smile, admiring the man who had come to her rescue. He was quite attractive, almost too good to be true. Logan merely nodded in response. After that silent exchange, Logan started to leave, but Elena stopped him.

“Would you like to stay a little longer?” Elena asked with a sincere smile. “I don’t usually invite strangers, but you just saved me from a pretty uncomfortable situation, and I feel like I owe you. So, what do you say?” she asked hopefully. Logan looked at her for a moment, as if weighing whether he should accept the offer. He usually didn’t get involved with others, especially someone much younger than him and from a world so different from his own. They returned to the bar, where Elena ordered some beers and a few snacks to accompany them. The atmosphere of the place was still lively, but now, with the company of the man who had saved her, everything seemed much calmer for her. They sat together at a table, and while they drank what the young woman had ordered, Elena couldn’t help but study him discreetly. He seemed tough, with an imposing presence, but there was a softness in his eyes that intrigued her.

“So... Do you come to places like this often?” Elena asked, trying to start a conversation. Logan took a sip of his beer while watching Elena, noticing the interest in her eyes. “Not much,” he replied in his characteristic gruff tone. “Only when Wade convinces me to go out.”

Elena smiled, surprised by the simplicity of his answer. “Wade? The weird guy I saw you come in with earlier?”

Logan shrugged. “Just needed a change of scenery. What about you? What made you stay after your family left?” Elena took a sip of her drink before answering. “I love this place. My father used to bring me here, and it brings back good memories. After everything we’ve been through, I needed a moment of peace.”

They shared a comfortable silence, interrupted only by the noise of the bar. Elena noticed how Logan’s hardened expression softened slightly. “Thanks again for stepping in,” Elena finally said. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t been there.” Logan looked up and, for the first time that night, gave a faint smile. “It’s nothing. I’m glad I could help.”

Elena leaned forward a bit, showing genuine interest. “Would you like to tell me more about yourself? I have a feeling you have some interesting stories to tell.” Logan looked at her, considering whether he should open up a bit more. The sincerity in her eyes and the warmth of her smile made him feel more at ease. “Maybe. Though I won’t make a habit of it.” Elena smiled broadly, accepting the challenge. “That’s fine. Sometimes, it’s nice to have an unexpected conversation with someone new.”

As Logan and Elena started to see each other more often, it wasn’t long before the news reached Tony. Although Elena tried to keep their relationship discreet, her father always had a way of finding things out, and soon, the word that she was dating someone began to circulate among the Avengers.

One day, while the group was gathered in Stark Tower, Tony, with his characteristic flair, casually mentioned, “So, it seems Elena has a new friend... a certain Logan Howlett.” The mention of the name caught everyone’s attention in the room. Natasha raised an eyebrow, Steve stopped reviewing his reports, and Thor, with his hammer in hand, let out a hearty laugh: “And who is this bold man who dares to court Stark’s daughter?”

Tony, with a mischievous smile, responded, “That’s the interesting part. Apparently, he’s not from our universe according to her. And... he has metal claws. He’s some sort of mutant, I think, like Wanda and Pietro.”

The room fell silent. Wanda was the first to speak, her tone one of genuine surprise: “Metal claws? You mean like a mutant?” Tony nodded, and before they could delve further into the matter, Wade Wilson, who had apparently been eavesdropping on the conversation from the hallway, burst into the room with a mischievous grin. “Oh, this is going to be fun! I’ve been waiting for this moment since I found out.”

Before anyone could comment further, the young Stark walked in with Logan, who was hooked to her, his arm linked with hers as the rest of her friends followed. “Sorry, sorry. He can be a bit... odd,” Elena apologized with a smile. Wanda didn’t hesitate to be the first to hug her, but the rest of the room’s attention turned to the man accompanying her, surprised.

“Excuse me? Who are you, and what are you doing with my daughter?” Tony asked, surprised, with a glass of whiskey in his right hand and his other arm around Pepper.

“Tony, honey. Let him introduce himself, please? You’re Logan, right?” Pepper asked with a slight smile, trying to lighten the tension. Elena murmured a thank you in gratitude, to which the blonde nodded.

Logan nodded without saying much, standing firm. Thor was the first to break the tension by approaching them and giving the mutant a friendly slap on the back. “So... I’ve heard you’re a warrior from another world with much more experience. It seems I have competition—and with claws, I hear. Strange, but interesting. I think you and I will get along well.” Logan barely reacted, but Elena noticed how his lips curved slightly upward.

Steve, for his part, crossed his arms and looked at Logan with a mixture of respect and curiosity. “So, you’re a veteran? Not many can say that in this room.”

Feeling a bit nervous, Elena stepped forward, holding Logan’s hand. “He’s different, but I think he’ll fit in well with us. And well, he’s... important to me.”

Before anyone could respond, Wade interjected with his usual humor: “Of course he’ll fit in! Plus, it was about time this team had someone with a bit more claw—and, by the way, a delightful loudmouth mercenary like me!” Everyone, even Logan, couldn’t help but laugh at the comment.

With the tension now eased, the Avengers, along with Elena and Logan’s group, sat down to chat and get to know each other better, sharing stories and jokes. The initial surprise quickly faded, and while they knew Logan wasn’t what they expected for Elena, they also recognized that he was someone they could trust, especially if he shared a close relationship with Tony’s daughter.

@welcometochilis585

Hi! I'm so sorry for the delay, but I wanted to do my best with this one-shot. It's a way for me to practice with writing, thank you so much for trusting me with your idea. I loved it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

— Lily. 💜

[gunsandspaceships]

Death Wishes

In psychiatry, a death wish is a conscious or unconscious desire for one's own death or for the death of another person.

Here we have Yinsen and Tony. One had a death wish because his family died. He wanted to die because he believed in an afterlife where he would meet them.

Another had a death wish because of survivor's guilt. He believed (not without reason) that his survival was a miracle, that he did not deserve to live, and that at some point he would have to give his life in service to people.

Years passed, but he was lucky, despite the fact that he was on the verge of death many times and was ready to give his life.

At some point it would seem that this is it, but no, the lives of half the universe were given for his life.

Morgan was born and he seemed to have resigned himself to living for her sake, despite the universal sorrow and guilt in his heart.

And then Death came for him.

[juxtaposed-nerd]

aapi heritage month headcanons pt. 3 !!!

just in time for s3 of dndads, let’s get into it! this one will probs be a lot but so much has happened in the past year 😭

- taylor LOVES chinese new year, he looks forward to it every year as the favorite (only) child and he eats all the dumplings he could ever eat and gets tons of red envelopes

- cassandra and morgan become best friends/mother-daughter relationship vibes post-doodler, like they are the most badass and cool women in the world and i do think taylor grows to love morgan so much and even though his relationships with nick/glenn are strained, at least he has the best mom and grandma

- as a voice actor for anime/cartoons i think cassandra really did fall in love w the art of anime and i’d love for her to guest at a con (make her the j michael tatum of her world PLEASE) and taylor gets a free ticket to weeb out as much as he wants <3

- in my heart glenn is trying his best, like he really wants that closeness (haha) and i think now post-doodler it's like literally what started as a father/son duo of him and nick now is genuinely a huge (kinda fucked up) family that is trying to mend itself and i do think it starts with chinese takeout !!!

- sidenote i think the close/foster/swifts etc are a great example of how freddie has subverted asian stereotypes fr and also how a family stuck in an absent/neglectful cycle has the ability to come together again

- the mending includes hermie too, hermie definitely deserves something more in his life and the chance get to be a kid w a home in the form of a big family w his bio dads (his normal parents are invited too) (and i also love the idea of normal being like 'grandpa henry! this is the guy!' and hermie being an honorary oak would be so cute 😭)

- hermie went and saw joy ride (2023) bc it was marketed as a comedy and came out bawling his eyes out from that one scene y’all adoptees know what im talking about

- tbh thinking about taylor's closeness w his mom and francis's w kimon wan literally asian moms are holding this show together

- the farnsworth’s are thai and german and they came to peachyville at a young age to give their newborn son a better life very starting nuclear family vibes, ed definitely learned thai for her, and now their son is a bowling champ!

- francis farnsworth and taylor swift are lowkey the spectrum of asian upbringing where it's like midwest asians vs socal asians 😳🤭 they live in different worlds

- kimon wan is an immigrant mom just trying to raise her family and her damn son wont stop being a loser 🤦‍♀️ literally milf w a shotgun (ed is a lucky man FR) (sorry anthony burch)

- when francis is having a really tough day then kimon wan will leave a plate of cut up fruit at his door so he knows he's still supported

- luo's golden wok is the first and only chinese restaurant in peachyville and they have to have the best pepper steak ever im calling it now

- tony collette would love and hate both jodie and glenn i think for different reasons but instead of calling them formosans he’d call them orientals 💀

- also tony collette is 0.0001% asian (chinese) and tyrus luo either DEFINITELY knows which is why he puts up w all the bullshit tony does or tony is determined to make sure that tyrus NEVER finds out ever

- they have a 'throwback' silent movie night at the drive-in and they show a meryl streep film and literally everyone falls in love w him 🥰

- billion millions was a crazy rich asian and he was an icon

- once again they mean the world to me! might end up posting more at some point who knows lol

-

checkout past headcanons: 2022! 2023!

[wandagcre]

Heya!!! If you were still doing the gif requests, may I ask for a fluffy top wanda one with this pleassee. Thank you

it's date night but it wasn't the one where you two had reigns to decide—it lacked total freedom and privacy. it was a miracle enough that wanda let you accompany her as she meets her stylists for the night event; a fundraising gala held by the no-longer little morgan stark, now of age to handle the business. she reminded you of as a perfect mix of personality between tony and pepper. moreso, there was a definite surprise from wanda thinks she's no longer that hero. apparently, morgan insisted, and reassured that the world thinks otherwise as there had been cover-ups from some of her past wrong doings.

upon the invitation, you were ecstatic for your wife — how her journey has far come to this. how beneficial her presence would be at that event. you also knew how her mind is clouded with doubts, so you insisted that if you weren't to be her plus-one for safety purposes.

"c'mon, honey. i deserve to see you get dressed and glammed up, don't you think?" you give her best impression of your puppy eyes. wanda can feel the excitement coursing through you that it makes your smile so infectious.

you knew she had soften up. "fine. you can accompany me, detka."

"yes! i'm your unofficial plus-one," when you pump your fist in the air, celebrating, her giggling resonated beautifully in the room.

you were new to this world. still under the care of the starks, you were greeted by their warmth and their extravagant and lavish place. the glass that acted as top to bottom walls and viewpoint surrounded the place. you did the math and it could fit at least for you to throw a party from one room alone.

you held wanda's hand, squeezing it from time to time to reassure the woman somehow that you're there with her — for her. your wife looked small before you sat with her in the spacious bed. did you had the urge to tackle her? yes. did you succumb to that urge? also yes. it was a fit of laughter as you both enjoyed the comfortable silence.

"do you have any clue what you'll be wearing?" you ponder while your head was close to wanda, laying down.

"no, not really." wanda answers. "they only took my measurements and i reminded pepper to give me something of a natural look. nothing too over the top,"

you hold her by the wrist, your thumb soothing over it.

"whatever it is, i'm sure you'll look stunning. i won't be able to take your eyes off you." you admit honestly. wanda blushes beside you because she feels the truth behind your words.

"you're a real charmer,"

soon, you both hear the card tapping and doors sliding in. it was the makeup team, both of you greeted them and you sat patiently by the edge of the bed, how the team worked fast and efficiently.

it didn't take long for them and you saw how the sun was soon setting by the wide windows. wanda finally got into another room to put on the dress and you insisted on closing your eyes before seeing the final reveal.

"that's only for weddings you dummy."

you humurously scoffed. "i'm not taking my chances. besides, i want to be surprised."

when you two were left alone, wanda finally gave you the cue to look, per your instructions, and she was even more breathtaking than in the mirror reflection and the partial look you had beforehand.

she's right infront of you, giving you a shy twirl.

"wow. that's— okay. i have to process this beauty for at least three business days," your eyes fluttered, you feel heated up, and you had to tug on the collar of your shirt.

"don't be dramatic now, detka."

"i'm serious! i feel like a giggly teen over my crush right now. you don't understand... i hope you understand."

wanda rolled her eyes. your compliment was appreciated though, she held your words in high regard — always. wanda's back faced you again this time for her to do her last touch ups.

she turned around once again to your direction and you sauntered over your wife. you made her inch closer for you to inspect her pretty face.

your heartbeat picked up immensely.

"how do i look?" wanda whispers. she's hopeless as you were.

"gorgeous. the best among them all."

you're rewarded with her pearly teeth smile and beautiful green eyes gleaming at your response — contorting into ease and happiness. it didn't help your beating heart, but it was more than satisfying.

if she ever experienced teenage dating like in the movies filled of unstoppable fluttering of feelings, wanda is certain that it feels something as this — all with you, because of you.

[stonyinspiration]

People in this fandom usually depict Tony as the one that’s apprehensive about fatherhood, while fatherhood comes naturally for Steve.

I respectfully disagree with this.

Here are my reasons for coming to this conclusion:

Even without Morgan, Tony has this naturally nurturing side that comes out with the people he loves. He’s definitely the paternal figure to his team; he pays for everything, personally makes them healthy smoothes, stacks the fridge with all their favorite foods, builds and repairs their costumes and weapons, and gets frustrated when they don’t follow the simple house rules (coffee grinds in the sink). Not only do his teammates sometimes act like children that need to be cared for, but he also has the bots to care for. He cares so much about everyone because he knows what it feels like to be unloved, and helping others also keeps his own emotional demons at bay. He suffers from anxiety and suffers from feelings of inadequacy, so he’s gonna initial freak over having his own child. Once the child is born though, he will see how naturally fatherhood comes to him Domestically itself feels like a reprieve from his chaotic life and for once he’s not constantly worrying about the future. After yearning for his father’s love for so long, he can finally heal his inner child by giving his own child unconditional love.

Steve originally wanted to marry and have children solely because that was expected for everyone when he was growing up. Then he found his own family in The Avengers and gradually started moving away from the idea of a traditional family. Tony’s self-destruction was much more noticeable, while Steve’s self-destruction is quieter and doesn’t get the attention it deserves, which doesn’t allow him to seek help for it. While Tony starts to heal, Steve only seems to get worse in the sense that he is ready to die without a moments hesitation. Steve is also younger and has had so much of his life stolen from him that he wouldn’t see the appeal of being tied down at least before his 40’s. He’s a romantic at heart but it doesn’t coincide with the way he lives his life. He has a big, loving heart but he’s also afraid of letting people in. As the team’s leader he is responsible for their safety, which of course weighs heavily on his shoulders; his alone time is vital for him to decompress and helps him go on pretending to be their unflappable leader. I picture fatherhood either being thrust upon him or him having a child when he is older and more settled down. If it’s thrust upon him when he’s younger, then he’s definitely gonna struggle with it in terms of how it pertains to his identity. He would step up to the responsibility and adore his child more than anything in the world, but fatherhood won’t come as naturally at first. Even if he eases himself into it, he can’t help but feel out of place in a domestic setting, which would lead to feelings of guilt that will turn into depression. Either way he will end up being an amazing father but not without struggle and inner turmoil.

[romanoffs-widow]

Sorry for everything

Sum: Nat takes out her anger on you after a stressful couple of weeks.

Warnings ⚠️ : Shouting, arguing, and split up?

A/N: Thank you very much to @bobisek96 for requesting this fic, I hope it's okay 😭 and tysm to everyone for all the love on my (not actually first) first fic! I appreciate you all sm ❤️

(I promise there is eventual fluff 😅)

Happy reading! 😊

NATASHA POV:

Everyone thinks being an Avenger is so easy. All you gotta do is a couple of fights and interviews, and that's it, right? Wrong. These last couple of weeks have had me exhausted and honestly drained.

Steve and Tony keep arguing about useless crap, Lena accidentally stained the couch with red wine and didn't even tell me, so I sat in it and stained my favourite sweatpants and I've had to do 6 different interviews because Tony had a cold and couldn't do them, and on top of all that, Morgan has clung to me like a magnet since her dad has been sick. I love kids, and I really do, but not when I'm exhausted and keep having nightmares, leaving me sleepless almost every other night.

"Hey Natty," she says with that smile I love so much. I don't know what it is, but even y/n/n can't cheer me up today. Too tired to respond, I just give her a nod. Hopefully, she can see I don't want to talk right now.

I went to change into comfier clothes. I feel a pair of hands wrap around my waist. I shrug her off, getting annoyed. "Are you okay, baby?" I roll my eyes as I put my top over my head. "I'm fine." Maybe now she'll get it? "You know if you don't want to talk to me, just say." She says it with a tone that tips me ove rather edge.

"You know what? Maybe I don't want to talk to you. Maybe all I want to do is lay down in our bed and try my very best to relax! I have had such a hard couple weeks, and all you do is bug me because you're a pathetic childish wench that wants my attention all the time! If you knew what I go through every single day as an Avenger, maybe you'd at least try to understand how hard my job is! So please just shut your whiny mouth up and get out. I don't want to see your face EVER AGAIN!"

Y/N POV:

My vision is beyond blurry as I feel the endless stream of tears rolling down my cheeks. My hands are shaking, and anxiety is sitting heavy on top of my chest. "Alright. O-okay." I get up, and without saying anymore, I grab my backpack and start shoving a bunch of clothing into it. I go into the bathroom and grab my toothbrush, as well as the other necessities that belonged to me.

With my bag and arms full with items, I give the redhead one last look. Her face is still red from all the shouting she did as she stared at the floor, in the same spot she'd been in for a couple of minutes. I give her a small nod, sniffling as I close the door. I am fully aware the whole compound heard all of that, and honestly, they should. I don't deserve to be treated like that.

I'm going to miss this place. The past 9 years of my life have been spent living here, getting to know all of the amazing people within. I had so many memories here, one of the first being when Morgan was born. She had a head full of hair and a smile that looked just like her fathers'.

As I walked out of the tower, I went to the first person I could think of. Wanda Maximoff, my best friend of 5 years. She does live in the compound, but she also owns an apartment on the other side of the city for emergencies. She gave me a spare key when she got it. Thankfully, I'd never used it before, so I'd never seen the interior of the four walls.

Memories, good and bad swirls around in my head, as I twist the bronze key into the lock. It took me an hour to get here, with the bus and all. I get settled in, as I know I'll be staying here for a while. I started getting myself a snack when I heard the door swing open. I look at it to see the red magic I'd come to know very well.

"Y/n/n honey? Are you in here?" As soon as I hear her voice, I run over to her, the flow of tears starting up again. "Oh my god, are you okay? She didn't hurt you, did she?" I shake my head, unable to speak. "Oh, my poor baby. I'm so sorry I didn't find you sooner. Everyone is out looking for you. I'd better call Pietro and tell him to tell everyone you're safe."

I just hug her tighter. "E-e-even...?" She looks at me with guilt in her eyes. "We all heard what she said to you, and F.R.I.D.A.Y said that you'd left, so we all went looking for you. None of us have heard from her since." By now, I've soaked her hoodie with my never-ending tears.

"Shhhh, it's okay, you're okay." Wanda whispers as she rubs my back to calm me down.

1 MONTH LATER...

I hear a knock at the door. Wanda only left, and she had her own key, so it definitely wasn't her, and i haven't ordered any packages. Deciding i dont care, I go to open it. I see nothing but a white teddy bear holding an envelope sitting on the welcome mat. There is no sign of anyone being here, as the halls are silent. I pick up the toy and bring it inside, closing the door. I go and put it on the counter, taking the red letter from its paws. It had my first initial on the front.

Our place, 2 pm?

- N xx

I roll my eyes. Even if I was very upset with her, she always knew how to make me smile. I check the clock, seeing it's already 1pm, so I decide to start getting ready.

I step into the shop and immediately see Natasha. As I get closer, I can see that she has bags under her eyes, and I see that her knuckles are all red and sore. She's probably been training to get her mind off us. "Hey," She goes to hug me, and I let her. "Hi." She ordered both our favourite drinks.

"How have you been?" I scoff. "What kind of a question is that? My girlfriend of 9 years kicked me out because she was having a rough couple of weeks and hasn't even bothered talking to me for a whole month, and you think I'm okay?" She looks down with guilt filled eyes. "...no. Sorry."

I sip from my cup. "Are you gonna give me some pathetic excuse as for why you made me leave like that, or what?" She nods her head, and takes a Depp breath.

"What I said was really messed up. I shouldn't have called you any of those rude names or said any of that to you. I was having a hard couple of weeks, and I just wanted some quiet. Which I got. But by all means, that's no excuse to take my anger out on you. I don't know if you even want to talk to me anymore after what I did, and I know I don't deserve your forgiveness or anything remotely close but I really am sorry y/n/n. These past 9 years have meant so much to me, and I don't want them to go down the drain because of my stupid actions."

She pauses for a while. Waiting for me to give her some sort of response. "Thank you. I'm sorry for bothering you so much, but it would be very helpful if you communicated how you feel to me, so I know when you need space. I haven't forgiven you. That's going to take a long time, but if you're willing to work on this, so am I. Okay?" She puts her hand on top of mine. "Okay."

6 MONTHS LATER...

Everything had been going actually quite well with y/n, and I. I've been working on my communication, and she's been helping me to recognise when I feel like I need space. She's moved back into the compound, and as of recently, she's started staying in our room again.

"Hey baby." I forgot how much I love her voice. "Hi malysh. Cuddles?" She nods her head and wraps herself around me on the couch. We quickly get sucked into our newfound favourite show, Greys Anatomy. "Meredith really is gorgeous, but not as gorgeous as you!" I say as I give her a kiss on the cheek. "I'm nothing compared to McDreamy." I laugh, knowing she loves Derek too much.

"Sorry...for everything." She turns to look at me with her eyebrows furrowed, abandoning our show. "I know. It's okay." She adjusts herself so she can kiss my lips. "I love you." She snuggled back onto me, sucking back into the show.

[irondad-creator-awards]

2024 Irondad Creator Awards Categories

Story Categories  

Best Multi-Chapter

A story which kept you up all night or calling in sick for work so you were free to read. Who’s the culprit?

Best One-shot

Some writers can cram more greatness into less words than a 100k monster. What’s the one-shot (standalone story of one chapter) that did it for you?

Best Drabble

A drabble (under 1k) can pack in all the goodness that you need in a coffee break read. What’s that story for you?

Best Plot Twist

A story which had a plot twist you didn’t see coming. Something that caught you so off guard that you had to stop a minute and take a breath before devouring the rest. What’s the story for you?

Best Biodad

Some of the greatest stories flip canon and make Tony Peter’s biological father. Be it baby Peter taking his first steps or Tony dealing with the fact his son is following in his superhero footsteps as Spider-Man, which is the one you loved most of all?

Best World's Colliding

Is it the ever-popular Field Trip Trope or Tony arriving at Midtown as Peter’s emergency contact? Which story mixes Spider-Man’s superhero life and friends with Peter Parker the student and decathlon team member?

Best Hurt/Comfort

Another massively popular Irondad trope is hurt/comfort, and there’s some amazing stuff out there. Which is the one that you love most of all?

Best Homeless

There’s some wonderful homeless Peter stories out there, so which is the one you were blown away by?

Best Adoption

Who doesn’t love an adopted Peter story? The magic when they sign those papers is just… aww. What’s the story that has that second-chance-home for you?

Best Fix-it Fic

There are some incredible fix-it fics inn the Irondad fandom. From the wonderful Tony Lives™ to the Accords Dealt With By Simple Discussion, what’s the story that fixes things just right for you?

Best 5+1

Irondad has some of the best five-time plus-one stories and we want to know your favorite. 

Best Identity Reveal

Identity reveals are soooo much fun. Which story had the reveal that wins for you?

Best Kidnapping

A popular trope is Kidnapped Peter and/or Tony. Which story has them working together or alone to make it home best for you?

Best Bonus Bond

We all love Irondad, but some stories come with bonus bonds that give us just as much. Do you have a surprise Peter & Bucky bond, or a particularly cute Peter & Morgan?

Best Humor

Irondad is open to so much humor. Which story is the one that has you laughing like an emoji?

Best Wild Card Story

The story that does (or doesn’t) fit into the above categories but you believe deserves the prize. Which one is that for you?

Best AU

There’s lots of imaginative AUs in Irondad fic. Whether it’s Steve and Tony as baseball players or Pepper being Peter’s mom, which one is your number one?

Best Series

Some of us love to go on a long ride with a series, so which is the world of multiple stories that you binged or waited anxiously for each update?

The All-Time Favorite

Which story or series is your favorite, independent of all categories above and independent of the time constraints? Be it a 2024 piece or all the way back to the roots of Irondad.

The 2023/2024 Favorite

Which story from the Awards Era is your favorite, independent of the categories above?

Writer Catagories

THE PROLIFIC WRITER AWARD

Irondad has some amazingly prolific writers. Which are the ones you’ve subscribed to get at that fic-wonder goodness with 10 works or more?

THE NEWBIE

New writers are joining the fandom all the time. Who’s the newbie (posting for 12 months or less) that’s delivering the good stuff for you?

THE OG

Who’s the writer that’s been around for a while (12 months or more) that keeps you captivated?

Art Catagories

BEST DIGITAL FANART

Who has those digital programming skills?

BEST IRON FAMILY FANART

Who can create those feeling of Ironfam with their art? Who captures the characters we love in that iconic family.

MOST HEARTBREAKING FANART

Art can move us to tears. Who captures those moments and brings tears to your eyes?

BEST SKETCHES — THE PENCIL AND PAPER ONE

Who has the skills with the original medium of art? Whose pencil can create the characters we love best? The Irondad artists are so of the most talented in the world, and it’s time to share the love.

BEST CARTOON DRAWING

Chibis, Manga, Anime, who can create the very best?

BEST FIC ART

Art inspired by a scene or cover art of a fanfic.

FAVORITE CANON REDRAW

Art that reproduces a canon moment in another medium.

BEST MOOD BOARD

What mood board fits a fic or creates an atmosphere with only a few images.

THE WILD CARD ART

The art that does (or doesn’t) fit into the above categories but you believe deserves the prize. Which one is that for you?

[v-67]

Alright so, I stopped watching most of the Marvel after endgame because they were screwing some of it up and nothing felt right

I did watch Moon knight, and ofcourse the Spiderman movies, and the latest, the Deadpool and Wolverine movie.

The whole introduction of TVA frustrated me.

And the implication that Deadpool's universe was going to be doomed, but later on as he saves a bunch of multiverse he somehow manages to save his universe from getting broken.

And the people who are supposedly managing the TVA are surprised as well.

So does that in any way signify. That out of those gazillion fucking universes, and of every possibility everywhere, that Tony stark could've somehow made it out alive. The one which was in our universe.

If there's even a slight possibility, which was somehow not considered because of any stupid reasons. Then it kinda breaks my heart.

I mean, I'm not really complaining because it was a definitive end to an amazing timeline, and an absolutely amazing character. But a part of me always hoped that Tony got to live a long life, with Potts and Morgan. And that he saw Morgan grow up. And also that he got to spend some time with Peter.

He deserved to live you know.

Also this multiple timeline shit is super annoying.

Dr. Doom. As much as it frustrates me, and as much as I'm annoyed, I'm also just 0.001 percent intrigued.

The possibility of how Tony, the saviour in one universe ends up as Dr. Doom in another.

I have really mixed feelings regarding the whole multiverse thing.

But TVA? I hate that. So much. Some beings managing or overlooking these numerous universes gives me the whole matrix vibes. And it's just : Nope.

Second post because I had made two notes so eh. Here it goes.

[wandabear]

EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY [CH 5] - WANDA MAXIMOFF X F!READER

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Summary:   Y/N proposes to Wanda and she says… no. That’s when things get complicated, too much.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x f!reader | Natasha Romanoff x oc ㅤㅤㅤ   

CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO  CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR CHAPTER FIVE CHAPTER SIX - finale

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Warning:  Somewhat graphic MCU violence, death, ANGST and FLUFF. Mentions about abuse. As you know me: Jules is portrayed by Adelaide Kane. This mcu style is my own, Natasha Romanoff will not die here. She deserves to be happy.

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Songs for you: Ivy Willow

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤCHAPTER FIVE

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“Thank you, auntie Y/N.” Morgan Stark said with the most adorable smile as she walked hand in hand with y/n.

Y/N took care of the kid that day and together they toured the Compound while Tony finished signing some papers and chatted with Steve, trying to keep things at peace.

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After eating together one of the most delicious cheeseburgers and fries -Morgan's favorites-, she walked with her to the entrance where Tony and Steve were waiting for them.

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“Aw. You're welcome, sweetie.” The inhuman smiled and leaned in to receive little Morgan's hug. “Thank you for keeping me company today. I couldn't have done it without you.”

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“I love you, auntie Y/N. See you later!” Morgan smiled and ran over to her dad, who helped the kid get into the car and fasten the seatbelt. Steve stepped forward to go inside the compound, it was going to rain soon.

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Y/N smiled at Tony. “That girl is getting bigger and smarter, Tony. She's soon going to take our jobs.”

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“What can I say? I was part of the creation of this masterpiece.” Stark joked and both laughed.

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Here they were, years later, Tony became one of the few people left in her life. All the grudges of the past had been left behind.

Y/N kept hands in the pockets of her coat, watching the trees moving slowly.  This time it wasn't Y/N who summoned the storm.

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“You okay?” Tony took off his glasses, he seemed quite worried.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ “Yeah.”  Y/N sighed and shrugged. “Just tired, there are too many problems on this planet and universe to deal with.”

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“Well, that is now YOUR problem, but… You should eat better, kid, I see you a little pale.” Tony patted her shoulder and smiled, but still looked a bit worried.  “I'll tell Pepper and she's going to scold you. She will send you a cook to follow you everywhere, reminding you to eat.”

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Y/N giggled tiredly and nodded slowly. “Take care, Tony. Take care of them, you deserve it.”

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“If you need something…” He tried.

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“I'll work it out with Steve, Yelena or Bruce. You rest.”

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All these years Y/N had been practicing her powers with Jules, Bruce also helped her to understand herself a bit more. Over time she learned to control it almost perfectly.

Y/N possessed the ability of atmokinesis, one of the most powerful abilities in existence, where one can control and manipulate the various forms and aspects of the weather itself.

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Thor used to say that he was happy with the news, now he could share something so beautiful with a warrior like her. Summoning the most powerful lightning they have ever seen.

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Jules possessed the ability of nature manipulation, another of the most important powers. Although she mostly had developed much more control over plants and some living beings. According to her, they used to whisper to her. Y/N smiled when she remembered that moment, in that same place a few years ago. She used to tease Jules saying she was crazy, because the brunette once said that a sparrow insulted her.

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“Y/N… I swear, that bird called me a ‘shameless slut’ and he then flew away!” 

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“Yeah, sure, I will definitely never believe that.”

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Together, they were invincible. They could make total chaos as well as something very beautiful for this planet. Y/N's idea was to protect this world that was left, while Jules... well, remained a prisoner of her suffering.

Y/N went back into the Compound, stopping to look at that mural in front of her, mural recognizing those who had fallen.

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NATASHA ROMANOFF WANDA MAXIMOFF JAMES BUCHANAN ‘BUCKY’ BARNES CLINT BARTONSAMUEL WILSON

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Y/N stood still looking at the names, thinking about everything that happened all this time. She covered her face with her hands, the stress that Y/N felt lately was overwhelming.

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“So, Stark stopped by to say hi?”  Yelena walked over, this time she wasn't wearing her Black Widow outfit. She always knew how to dress in style, maybe she was coming back from visiting Kate who lived in New York now.

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“He came to tell us that Avengers Tower was going to be sold.” Y/N smiled sadly. “And that if we needed something, we could always count on him. He’s going to retire to take care of Morgan and Pepper.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The blonde nodded. Those names made Y/N shed a tear that quickly dried up.

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“I miss her so much, you know?” Y/N swallowed hard and closed her eyes, trying to stay strong but it was so hard lately. Especially when the memories grew heavier in her heart. “She’s the love of my life, how come I'm still doing all this? Why am I still alive?”

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Y/N couldn't help but wept, feeling Yelena's arms surround her.

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“There are days where I don't know how to go on without Wanda.” The agent sobbed in anguish, she always tried to be positive and strong but she no longer knew how to keep going. Especially with some of the remaining Avengers spread across the world. “I- I just… I make myself some tea and I just start crying, and I cry until the tea gets cold, a-and then I have to make another one.”

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Yelena pursed her lips trying not to cry, but tears welled up in those green eyes. Both tried to be strong for each other.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ "Sometimes… I repeat to myself over and over again: what was the scent... what did her hair smell like? Because I remember it was raspberries but what if I forget? What if... I can't remember anymore?" Y/N smiled sadly. “I feel like I'm missing three pieces of my heart, and the only one that holds everything is you.”

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“I know, Y/N/N. I miss Natasha too.” The russian cooed, hugging her tightly. “It hurts me so much… Sometimes I talk to her, whistle to her... but she doesn't answer. I’ve loved her so much.”

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Now she was the one who broke down crying.

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“I’m sorry.” Y/N looked down to see how Yelena hid her face in that hug, and just kissed her forehead, both consoling each other in a big hug at that moment.

Yelena wasn’t the kind of person who shows her feelings easily. No. Fuck, she used to just growl and roll her eyes at her but all this time... all this pain, she could only show it with Y/N.

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“Do you think they're okay? Wherever they are.” Yelena sniffled.

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“I dunno, blondie.” Y/N sighed. “But I hope so.”

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That beautiful moment lasted for a while until Steve quickly led, with a rather worried and confused face.

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“Y/N, Yelena… You two need to see who's at the compound gate now.”

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And when they heard the whole story that Scott Lang had to tell them, they were even more confused and perhaps… deep down, hopeful.

The noise of breaking glass and shots was all that could be heard, besides desperate screams of the members of that gang.

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“It’s her! She’s after Javier!” One of the gang members yelled in Spanish and fired his machine gun into a dark corner of the street. A few seconds later, that same man was thrown into the air and hit the wall with such force that he died on impact.

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The female figure of a black-haired woman stepped out of the darkness, a proud smile and brown eyes filled with a desire for revenge.

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“Todos van a morir, pero ahora solo quiero a Javier. Entréguenmelo y podrán irse. [You all going to die, but right now I only want Javier. Give it to me, and you can go.]” The brunette ordered willing to let go, for now. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

None seemed to obey, in fact some of them laughed and looked at each other.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Good, your choice.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

That woman raised her hands and killed several of those criminals, using vines to catch them, she took one and attracted one using him as a shield.

Jules smiled coquettishly then blew some spores into the man's face, like a poisonous kiss. The man's horrified look changed to a more relaxed one, the irises of his eyes turning green. “You want to protect me, and now… You’re going to kill all of your friends, then yourself.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Exactly as she said, the man fired at his own people and then shot himself. Jules sighed and walked to the second floor of that building, where another group of thugs fired at her. One by one, she took it upon herself to clear the path.

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“What do you want?! I didn’t do anything to you!” The leader of the gang asked, walking backwards. There was nothing left but to give up.

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“You’ve survived.” Jules said as she slowly walked towards him. “Half of the planet didn’t.”

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Even though it was her, that was no longer the same Julia from before. Those five years changed a lot in her mind and her heart.

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“They got Thanos… you get me.” Jules cocked her head, biting her lower lip playfully.

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Javier knelt down ready to beg for his life, even if his pride said otherwise.  “I'll give you what you want, but please, don't kill me.”

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“What I want? You can't give it to me.” Jules whispered venomously. Step by step, it was a death sentence. The vines and the ivy were moved like snakes, searching for their prey.

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“Por favor, güerita no me mates… Please, please don't kill me.”

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She just raised her hand and one of the vines wrapped around Javier's neck, lifting him into the air. He began to move her legs, desperate.

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“Julia, stop.”

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Her best friend's voice made Jules turn to look at the door, perhaps with all the noise of shots and screams she hadn't heard the sound of the storm approaching.

Y/N slowly entered that warehouse.

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“Oh, hey sis. Long time no see.”  Jules smiled casually, but didn't let the guy get away.  “Did you finally come to join the party?”

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“I came to save you.” Y/N swallowed, noticing how the vines moved around her as if they had a life of their own, even if Jules controlled them. “Let him go.”

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“No.” her response was blunt, it even made the vine tighten his neck more. “You... tell her... tell her what you've done.”

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 “Please, don’t do this. You’re… not a killer.” Javier could barely say.

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“Oh, look around you, I already am.”

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“Jules, stop.” Y/N begged.

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“Tell my friend what you did and I'll let you live.” Jules jaw clenched, making the vines tighten around the man's neck. He found it difficult to speak, he barely gasped like a fish out of water.

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“What are you saying? I can’t hear you-” She said with an adorable smile but ended up shouting: “SPEAK LOUDER!”

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“Julia, THAT'S ENOUGH!” Y/N took a step forward but Jules raised her hand, stopping her with the vines. Jules looked at her seriously, forcing Y/N to stay still and then turned to see the man again.

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“You took that little one, didn't you? A little girl in Morelos. You did these despicable things to her.”  She hissed angrily, her gaze locked with the man's, who was struggling to breathe. “A child, and not just one...”

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The man just closed his eyes and after a moment, nodded desperately hoping that she would let him go.

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“See, Y/N? This happens when you’re soft like we used to be. When justice forgets what it really means.” Jules felt a huge pain inside her, her hands trembled but she was determined to go for it.   “No matter how much you fight to be better and let go your past, to redeem yourself…”  She thought of Natasha. “…You will die snapped and a rapist son of a bitch will be left alive on this planet.”

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Y/N nodded, trying to reason with her. “You're right, he deserves to face justice.”

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“Justice?!” Jules laughed wryly.  “There’s no justice! Especially when the jury released him because he didn't penetrate one of his victims with his penis… Oh no! He did it with his fingers and tongue, and that to them meant: letting him go!” The brunette screamed, the vines squeezed him enough for him to start turning purple.

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“Justice. That's what that girl didn't have.” Jules took a shaky breath, those brown eyes no longer showed that warmth, patience and tenderness as before.  “But I'll give it to her. To all of them.”

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Without waiting any longer, Jules moved her hand and the vines broke the nasty guy's neck, letting the lifeless body fall to the ground.

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“One less, many to go.” Jules sighed looking at that man's body and then turned around willing to leave that place ignoring her friend.  “You shouldn't be here.”

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“Neither should you.” Y/N followed her.

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“I've got a job to do, you're making it more difficult.” Jules heard the police sirens in the distance, so she decided to go back and take the back exit of that warehouse.

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“Is that what you're calling this?” Y/N walked after her, leaving through the back door of the warehouse. Jules took it upon herself to remove some of the surveillance cameras with ivy before they could capture her. “Killing all these people isn't gonna bring Natasha back.”

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Y/N tried to take her arm.

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“They are not people! They are infections corroding this Earth.”  Jules turned, breaking free of her grasp.  “The little that remains of this world at least.”

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“You are not the one to decide that.”

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“Neither are you.” Jules snapped.

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“Natasha wouldn't want this.” Sadness was reflected in Y/N's eyes, who saw her friend as a poor shadow of what she used to be.

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“She's not here to decide, is she?”

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“But she could… if you come with me.” Y/N she released the best bait that she could to catch the biggest fish in the river. Hoping that was enough to get the brunette's attention.

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And she did it. Jules turned to look at her, this time in a very different way. This time, a small light of hope was born in those brown eyes or maybe it was the anger she felt if Y/N played with it.

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“Don’t do that. Don't play with it.”

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“We found something.” Y/N sighed as she moved closer to her. “A chance, maybe.”

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“That’s impossible.” Jules narrowed her eyes, not understanding.  “You just want to trick me to go back.”

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“No! I swear… There’s a possibility. Just one. But you have to make a decision now, because the police are coming and the quinjet is three fucking blocks away.”

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Now the concern was reflected in Jules face, there was no way to achieve what she said.  “You can't bring anyone back to life, not even I can go that far. Nature wouldn’t allow it.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“It is not about playing with nature.”  Y/N walked in a hurry escaping from the sirens.  “It's about going back… Do you love her enough to give it a try?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The raven-haired woman looked thoughtful. “Are you sure of that?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Pretty sure it could work.” Y/N looked at who was her friend for so long, for a moment she believed that the sparkle in those eyes had returned.  “But we need you.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Don’t.” Jules said barely, like a sigh.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Don't what?” She stopped, making Y/N turn to look at her. The neon signs reflected their faces, like the most beautiful work of art.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Please, don’t give me hope.” Jules pleaded.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

And for the first time, Y/N's serious look turned into a softer one.  “I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you sooner.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

They spent days trying to plan everything they had to do perfectly. Each of the stones they had to 'borrow' and then return. A time heist. Each of them had a plan, but that wasn't what mattered right now.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Tomorrow, we will be saving the ones we love the most.” Y/N took the beer and toasted against the brunette's, who was only watching through the big window.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Tomorrow.” Jules sighed, her heart skipped a beat at the thought. “Do you think they will understand?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I think so… Yeah, I'm not going to be the one to tell Wanda that her favorite band split up two years ago.” Y/N said making her friend laugh again, missed that nice sound so much. “But fuck, I'm going to tell her that Britney won the damn lawsuit.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N laughed and then brushed a few crumbs off her shirt, making the ring she was wearing as a pendant to bounce.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Still carrying that thing?” Jules smiled tenderly looking at the ring.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N looked at it got lost in memories. The ring with which she proposed to Wanda so long ago. “And I will forever.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She smiled at her friend, who understood perfectly. The raven-haired woman nodded slowly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“If I had married someone... it would definitely have been Nat. She would say ‘No, thank you!’, of course, but at least I would have tried.” Jules said with a broody smile. Natasha Romanoff left a hole in her heart, taken it away forever.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Wanda wanted us to get married when we got back from Wakanda.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Maybe you guys can get it right this time. You know that Wanda loved you deeply, right?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I know… I loved her so much, so much that part of me is no longer mine but hers.” She sighed. “And I'm going to keep this.” Y/N looked at that ring with sadness but also hope.  “Until I see her again, this is it, Jules. This is how we get them.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I hope so. I don't know what I'll do otherwise.” Jules looked down, feeling the full weight of her actions.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

At that moment Yelena walked through the living room door, heading straight for Jules. Of course Yelena hadn't been there those days, she was trying to help Steve to convince Tony to help them.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Yelena, wait-” Y/N got up seeing the anger on the blonde's face and remembering that she hadn't had the courage to tell her that Jules was back.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“No, let her do it.” Jules got up from her seat, clearing her throat uncomfortably. “I know you might hate me but-”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Without further ado, Yelena hit the brunette's face making her face to turn around, Jules noticed blood dripping from her lip. And if that hadn't surprised her too much, after the punch the blonde came to hug her tightly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m glad you’re here.” Yelena murmured staying in that embrace for a while. “We're family. I don't want to lose any more sisters... I missed the three of us.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

And how not to do it? Ever since Y/N and Jules had their separate ways, Yelena always felt in between. With no big sister, feeling like a child with her parents divorced, she didn't know which of them to turn to.

Jules looked up at Y//N and just stroked Yelena's blonde hair slowly. They both looked at each other and nodded. They were all Yelena had left, and none of them had given her a thought.

“Tell me again, why did you bring her?” Tony asked again, narrowing his eyes at the brunette. “She could kill us in a flash.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jules chuckled.  “Yeah, I'm not that fast, Stark.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Isn't that what we need? We need people willing to give everything.” Y/N she sighed, running a hand over her face. It was the third time she'd answered that all damn day.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Steve…”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Steve, who was there with his arms crossed, just stared at them seriously.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We all deserve a second chance. We can all regret what we have done, and then do better.” Steve nodded solemnly. If Jules was going to bring something good to that mission and she was going to keep someone from dying, then she was welcome.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jules arched an amused brow. “Yeah, I'm not sorry for what I did... I’m just here to help, that’s it.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Shut up, Julia. You're not helping.” Y/N growled.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Between twists and turns, everyone managed to resolve their differences before keep going with the plan. Each of them had to follow the 'time heist' plan and bring the gems.

And they all made it, making it back alive for the big test. Of course, Y/N kept saying how great it was to see the first S.H.I.E.L.D. base in 1970. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Now, Bruce was ready to snap and change everything. Around him were all of the avengers, who watched him as if in his hands kept the most precious treasure in the Universe. And it was. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Are you sure, Bruce?” Steve asked one more time. “I can do it too.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“No, I was made for this.” Bruce sighed deeply and after taking courage, he settled the gauntlet on his arm.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Slowly, the power of the gauntlet was consuming him, making him scream in pain. They all walked away in surprise, but they couldn't interfere even if they wanted to.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Bruce, remember, everyone Thanos snapped away five years ago...” Y/N explained carefully, watching the gauntlet light up when the big guy put it on. “You're just bringing them back to now, today. Don't change anything from the last five years.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ “Please.” Tony added.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Got it.” Bruce growled.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

One.

Two.

Three.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Snap.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Bruce knelt in pain and the way the power of the gauntlet burned his arm made everyone shocked.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Did it work, Bruce Banner?” Yelena asked curiously.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone looked at each other for a moment, their phones started ringing instantly and that brought a smile to everyone. Y/N took her phone and watched that something that she hadn’t seen for a long time, now was shown on the screen.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

'INCOMING CALL WANDA MAXIMOFF ...'

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N smiled widely and answered the call.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Wands?” ㅤㅤㅤㅤ But the call ended.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

And they wish they had time to celebrate or answer; one of Thanos' ships stood behind the Compound. And the first thing he did was bombard the quinjets, taking away their chance to use them.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone managed to stay safe, while the team tried to fight Thanos hand to hand, others tried to take the gauntlet and escape with it so that the titan wouldn’t have it again.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The powerful triad of the Avengers faced him, Thor, Tony and Steve. But he also faced Y/N, Jules, and the Hulk in an epic battle. They didn’t expect that attack, much less in such a treacherous way.

And although they thought that everything would end in the worst way, not just one but several portals opened on that battlefield.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ Each of their friends passed through the portal, returning to their side, ready to once again face that enemy, together.

Y/N sighed and tried not to cry when she saw how Wanda ran towards her and melted into the strongest and most needed hug of their lives. Closed her eyes and let herself be carried away by her scent, giggling happily at the scent of Wanda’s hair.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Oh, raspberries.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

A small tear escaped from her eyes.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Strange told us.” Wanda cupped Y/N's face in her hands. She looked so… same and different. Y/N's face looked different, not much but small details that she noticed. “Five years, right?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah.” Y/N closed her eyes, getting lost in the feeling for a moment.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Five years, wow…h-how are you? Are you okay?” Wanda asked really worried.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Can we talk about that later?” Natasha arched an eyebrow, nodding as Thanos's army regrouped on the horizon.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N breathed deeply watching that terrifying landscape, but despite the fear, Wanda's hand taking hers made her smile. Of course they could against this. They had survived the worst, they could against everything.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

And both armies finally met. Y/N rose into the air and used her powers, making a hurricane to get rid of some enemies. This time there was no doubt using those powers, it was a perfect execution.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You are…” Wanda exclaimed in surprise. They both made an incredible team up now.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Total control, huh!” Y/N smirked and then rose up.  “You should see this!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Her eyes turned white for a moment, and the sky roared like never before. Several lightning bolts fell towards her and towards her enemies. Without stopping, they both fought to protect Peter Parker who stole the gauntlet, getting it as far away from Thanos as possible. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I already saw the boy, he's coming your way, Strange!” Natasha said through her earpiece and fired at one of the aliens, killing him.  But someone worse stood a few meters in front of her, showing that big spear.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Not this bitch again.” Natasha complained, seeing how Proxima smiled creepily.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The black widow prepared herself for the attack, she was ready to face her when some huge vines opened up the earth and took Proxima, getting rid of her.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey.” Jules smiled at her and stoodnext to her, surprising the redhead. Then raised her hand, making some thorny vines to grab many aliens and completely destroy them.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You-” Nat opened her mouth but didn't know what to say, just smiled back.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Pretty badass, don't you think?” Jules nodded watching as the earth swallowed them.  “They will be a good fertilizer for the soil.”

ㅤㅤㅤ “That wasn't fair, I was about to finish her off.” Natasha teased, smirking.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ “Sucks to be you... But by the way: You’re my whole world, Romanoff. I want you to know that.” Without further ado, the brunette approached to kiss Natasha's lips, just a peck. “’kay, gotta go. Don’t die this time!”  

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The redhead just smiled and shook her head, running in the opposite direction.

And despite the losses that are always to be expected in a war, they did it well. Except for Carol, who was still recovering after she'd snapped. She was powerful, sure, but that was a very potent amount of energy.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ The corridors of the Avengers Compound were full of people coming and going. The medical room was being occupied by everyone who was badly injured, Dr. Cho was crowded but thanked the civilian medical staff who offered to help them.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N kept her arms crossed, watching and making sure everyone was okay. Her tired eyes showed how she felt, beside being in pain. Several cuts and bruises in her face and body showed it.

She turned on her heels to leave for a moment, nodding to Steve who was chatting with Tony, Maria Hill and Nick Fury about everything that had happened.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Now everyone was back and despite the fact that it was a great joy, the world was once again in chaos.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Agent Y/L/N.” Nick turned around so she could shake hands with her.  “Here they have told me the great job you have done trying to keep us standing.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Thank you, sir. I only did what I have been taught in S.H.I.E.L.D.” Y/N smiled and nodded kindly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I taught you well then.” Maria Hill said under her breath and they both laughed. Y/N patted the Maria's shoulder and kept walking, looking for that special someone.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She searched the living area, the lounge, and the medical wing but couldn't find Wanda anywhere.

Not until she saw how a brown haired lady escaping from her, walking quickly towards the main entrance hall.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Wanda.” Y/N called out to her loud enough to make her stop.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda turned around slowly, she looked like she had been crying, because her eyes were a bit puffy and red. She looked quite nervous, looking towards the door as if she wanted to get out.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Why are you avoiding me?” That sounded sadder than she expected. You could tell the pain in Y/N's voice, and the obvious confusion.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“No, why do you say that?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m not stupid.” Y/N chuckled sadly.  “I haven't seen you since we were separated in the Med wing. I've been looking for you for a long time.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah… I needed some air.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N approached her, both watched the outskirts of the compound with longing. “Are you okay?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Five years, right?” Wanda swallowed, unable to look at her. Couldn't or she would break. ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N sighed. “Yeah.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I think… I think I'm not ready for this.” The brunette looked down, playing with her rings.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N cocked her head to see her. “Ready for what?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“To do this, Y/N.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Wow, no ‘detka’ this time.” Y/N gave a sad and ironic giggle. She didn't understand what the hell was happening now. “I don't understand.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Y/N, it's been five years.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah, five fucking years go by and the first thing you do is walk away and ignore me.” Y/N she said a bit annoyed and hurt. “Would you please tell me why?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Because I'm not ready to know how you moved on!” Wanda finally snapped. “I'm not ready to…” Wanda cleared her throat, trying to be strong and not cry but it was so hard. “I'm not ready to see how you've moved on from me or met someone else.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N frowned and thought about stopping her, but she had every right to express her feelings. She wanted to know how Wanda felt.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“While for you it was five years, for me it was just... minutes.” The sokovian began pacing back and forth, finally letting go of everything she kept inside. “And I come back and I see you... so different and at the same time the same. Don't get me wrong, you look as beautiful as ever but I feel like... I've missed so much.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

"You have… you have a scar there, on your eyebrow, and I- I don't know how you got it! And and I feel so… I left you." Wanda began to cry, and although Y/N wanted to hug her, she only reached out her hand to take Wanda's and gently pull her.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“How do you think it feels to know that? I've abandoned you for years. God!”  Wanda approached to surround her in a hug, hiding her face in Y/N's chest.  “The things you've experienced and I wasn't there. You were alone.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I wasn’t alone.” It was the first thing Y/N said as she stroked her back.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“That's why... Maybe you've met someone.” Wanda looked up and tried to get away from her. “I'm not ready to know that you don't love me anymore.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I wasn't alone, I had my friends.” Y / N smiled tenderly and gently caressed Wanda's cheek. “Wanda... I haven't stopped thinking about you, I never stopped doing it.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She took her beloved's chin to look into those green eyes. A heart that found its other side again, finally, their souls were entwined once more.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I love you. I have loved you these five years... where I didn’t stop thinking about you, loving you, needing you.” Y/N she whimpered and wiped away the tears that began to fall. “I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. You don't know how horrible it was to live without you, you don't know how difficult it is. Cause it wasn't 'living'. You have no idea how gray the world is without you.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Tears began to escape from Wanda's eyes and she didn't stop them. They both needed this, they needed to heal.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Please, don't walk away.” Y/N begged, feeling Wanda cradle her face in her hands. “I only know that I survived because I had to, because I couldn't leave them alone... because I don't want to be without you anymore. I just can’t. I can’t do it.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The sokovian hugged her tightly, allowing them both to release into a healing cry. Feeling the warmth of the other's body, all the pain could finally be left behind.

All those sad dates, all those lonely birthdays, all those cold nights.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I love you, Wanda.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I love you so much, detka. I'm so sorry...” She put her forehead against Y/N's, getting lost in that beautiful feeling. “We won't be apart again. Promise we won't.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Nothing will separate us again, my love.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jules lowered her gaze and hurried her step in that hallway, trying to get out of that place as soon as possible. Her heart was heavy but she had to do the right thing.

At least this time.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She was about to walk out of the Compound when a figure crossed in front of her, so fast. There was no doubt that this woman was one of the best spies in the world.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Aw! Not even a hug? I see you're not a fan of goodbyes.” Natasha watched her out of the corner of her eye, crossing her arms.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jules swallowed, this was what she least wanted.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Everyone is there with their loved ones but you… you’re running away without even saying goodbye to me.” Natasha stood idly by, quite hurt.  Although the first thing she did was make sure Yelena was safe, Natasha had not forgotten Jules. “Running away like a quiet and scared mouse.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m not a scared mouse.” Jules narrowed her eyes. Those words made Natasha raise an eyebrow, Jules would never have spoken like that.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I don't even deserve that? I understand that five years have passed for you, you must… you must have formed another more important bond or whatever…. Or maybe you just stopped loving me, but I am not even worthy of a goodbye?” The redhead scoffed.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Nat-” Jules tried.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I would like an explanation, because the last thing I remember is that we were... in love.” She wasn't going to deny that it hurt her deeply. “I understand. I wasn't very direct with that, I admit it... besides that a lot of time has passed and we didn't get to make it official, but that didn't mean I didn’t loved you! I did! I DO!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Nat…” Jules came over, trying to calm me down. She just cradled Nat's face in those soft hands. “It's not that.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jules sighed deeply, she didn't have time to explain.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I love you, more than my own life.” The raven-haired girl placed her forehead against hers.  “I would give everything for you, I gave everything for you to be here.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Then tell me what's going on...” Natasha pleaded in a whisper, those beautiful eyes sparkling. This was one of the few times that she could see Nat being herself, opening her heart.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jules leaned in and kissed her lips, losing herself in them. Didn’t care more than to relive that feeling, that warmth. Nat was alive, she was next to her. As soon as they parted from the kiss, the inhuman hugged Natasha tightly.

Her biggest fear was losing her again.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I just didn't want you to see it…” Jules swallowed. “I didn't want them to do it in front of you.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Natasha looked at her with confusion and concern. “Do what? Who?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I did some really fucked up things this time where you weren't, Nat... I- I don't expect you to understand me, I just... maybe one day I can explain. They will tell you many things about me, most of them are true... others not so much. And I’m sorry.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

At that time, General Ross entered with a group of US marshalls and surrounded them. Of course they left Natasha aside, they only came to handcuff Jules who didn't object. Her gaze stayed on Nat's. Sure they had technology strong enough to weaken her, but Jules wasn't going to run away. Not this time.

In fact, it was obvious that she knew perfectly well that this would happen, because Jules never resisted or tried to escape.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Ross, what are you doing?” Natasha asked but one of the Marshalls pushed her back.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“My job, Ms. Romanoff. Just my job.” Ross nodded and they walked carrying Jules, although the arrival of the others Avengers made them stop.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“What’s going on here?” Steve frowned. “Ross, we can't go through this now.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

At that moment Y/N arrived, pushing whoever had to to face Ross.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You can't do that, she's an avenger.” Y/N tried to intercede adn take her friend, but was stopped by the Marshalls. “Take your hands off me.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Julia Hale, you're under arrest for mass murder in several countries including the United States of America, eco-terrorism, mass property damage, conspiracy, torture, assault, kidnapping… You have the right… to not much at all after that, to be fair.” He sneered. “Do you have anything to say in your defense?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Jules glanced sideways at Ross, who seemed quite pleased.  “They were bad people.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Ross… She saved half of the universe with us.” Tony stepped forward, ready to intercede too. “There's still fresh blood on her face, look at her! She just saved the world with all of us! Let her go… for now.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I know, Stark, but it's not up to me. It will depend on U.S. Goverment.”  General Ross started walking towards the entrance, where the SUV's were ready to go.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s okay, I knew this would happen. We made a deal.” Jules looked back, seeing Y/N but was pushed forward.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N frowned.  “A deal?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“They let me help you if I agreed to go with them, for good.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Where are you going to take her?” Wanda asked, feeling the same indignation as her beloved. She hated seeing her like that.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“The Raft, until it's time for her to have a fair trial at the Capitol.” Ross nodded and the Marshalls loaded Jules into the SUV.  “It's not up to me to give her a pardon, it's up to them.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Don't worry, I have a cousin who is a very good lawyer!” The huge Bruce smiled and held up his phone, which made her smile.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Everyone was quite upset and outraged, Tony was talking to Pepper to find a good 'lawyer' to help them with this, besides calling the necessary contacts he had at the Capitol. Wanda took Y/N's hand, who stood watching her friend being taken away and couldn't do anything.

Even if she wanted to, she couldn't make it worse.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

But the one who seemed most devastated was Natasha, who watched everything without knowing what to say. She had no idea what was happening, the redhead just went to the car’s door to see her one last time.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m sorry.” Jules moved her lips, watching Natasha, before the truck moved away from the place. Leaving the redhead more confused than ever.

“So…” Wanda murmured entering the room, looking around. Everything felt so new. Y/N invited Wanda to sleep with her in her room.  “It was hell.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Yeah.” Y/N sighed as she slowly removed her suit, the wounds making her hiss. “The first year we were together, Yelena kept us here. We couldn't leave her alone, we had all lost something.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The sokovian sat on the bed, watching as Y/N changed. Her gaze fell on the new scars on Y/N’s body, thinking about everything Y/N went through, without her. She couldn't protect her. Maybe if she was there, those wounds wouldn't have happened.

After taking a nice shower, they both lay down on the bed so they could snuggle together.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I started going to some meetings, you know which ones. About loss.” Y/N took some of her big shirts and handed one to her girlfriend, putting one on as well.  “It didn't help me much but it kept me standing, enough to keep me going for a while longer.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda hugged the side of her body, caressing her belly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“But not Jules. She said that wasn't helping her, then she started to feel… angry.” Y/N was somewhat thoughtful.  “As she learned more about her powers, Jules began to feel everything even more. She has a great connection with nature and that… that made her take a different path.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N frowned and swallowed.  “I tried to make her stay with us but we couldn't. She didn't want to be here, brought back too many memories... About Nat and that, and we couldn't force her.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“We lost contact for a few months until... we started receiving some weird cases. They were all bad people, that person was targeting criminals, murderers, cartel people, hunters.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I’m so sorry, detka. Really.” Wanda whispered.  She felt so helpless and angry. Thanos took everything from her. “I'm so sorry about that. I'm sorry I left you alone.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“It’s okay now.” She smiled at Wanda, leaving a small kiss on her forehead. She closed her eyes feeling that perfume once more. Yes, everything was back to normal.  “I’m so happy you’re here, that's all that matters now.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Do you want to sleep?” Wanda asked as she gently caressed her beloved's face, removing some strands of hair.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I'm exhausted, I would sleep for weeks, but I don't want to stop looking at you.” Y/N muttered, her voice slightly scratchy. Her body ached too much, feeling a stabbing pain in muscles that she didn't even know existed.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Wanda smiled tenderly, kissing her chin.  “I promise to be here in the morning.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Pinky promise?” She brought her pinky so they could intertwine.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Pinky promise, detka.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

They both laughed and snuggled again when Y/N turned off the lights on the nightstand. They were silent for a moment, sharing only the beat of their hearts, until Wanda spoke:

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ “How did you get this one?” The Sokovian traced her fingers over one of the scars on Y/N's stomach, slowly.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I stumbled across a turtle.” Y/N bit her lip trying not to laugh, but Wanda just laughed and patted her.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Come on, you dork. Tell me.”

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“I was bitten by a beaver.”

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“Y/N!” Wanda complained and Y/N burst out laughing.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Wanda?” Y/N bit her lower lip.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Mhm?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Taylor Swift released two albums in a single year… and they are very cottage core.” Y/N couldn't help but say it, knowing that it was one of her beloved's favorites.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Oh God. How good is to be back!” Wanda chuckled amusedly, leaning in to look at her.  “Which is your favorite?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Y/N bit her lower lip, forgetting her tiredness for a moment and took one of her headphones from the nightstand, she kept one and gave one to Wanda.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Friday? Please, could you play 'Willow'?”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

‘Of course, Ms. Y/L/N.’

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

 “This one is for you.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

'Willow' started to play, making them both smile as they listened to the song.

Tears fell down Wanda's cheeks upon hearing such beautiful words, tears that Y/N tenderly wiped away.

They spent some time looking into each other's eyes, listening some songs and exchanging smiles until sleep came over them.

✨✨ Yeah, I was thinking about the finale... until @imnotasuperhero wanted a bit more. ✨✨ Don't hate me, hate her, poking the bear is never the answer. I'll bite.🐻 (kidding, i don't bite... yet.) here goes some amazing and lovely people tags   ✨  : @wandsmxmff​,  lonewalker17,  tsmeanobody,  dark-hunter16,  lattayhottay16,  natashaswifeu,  silverockmusic,  kacka84,  emeraldevan! @sunsol-22 @dparker0 @imnotasuperhero @pawiie

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ

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[boasamishipper]

tagged by @film-in-my-soul and @icemankazansky - thanks guys!! ❤️❤️❤️

Everyone deserves to toot their own horn and be proud of their work! So, this tag game is fairly simple.

Promote 5 works that you're really proud of and share a little about why you're so proud of them! Then tag as many people as you like. You can reblog this post and add on to it (why not create a giant reclist to throw around?) or steal this header (and border if you like) and make your own post.

tagging @bornforastorm @lookforanewangle @apartmentsmoke @maverickcalf @saltyfilmmajor @hacash @academicgangster @onekisstotakewithme and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it

Make A Wrong One Right

Top Gun, Iceman Kazansky/Maverick Mitchell, Goose Bradshaw & Maverick Mitchell

Maverick makes a wish and wakes up thirty years in the past. He reacts accordingly.

I've written a lot of Top Gun fics (sixty-three, to be precise, which is insane all on its own) but this fic is far and away the one I'm most proud of. Not only did I get to throw in all my favorite things (angst with a happy ending!! time travel!! magical realism!! back to the future references!!), I got the chance to explore in a more subtle way just how much Mav loves Ice, and tackle fun existential questions like, Would you change the past if it meant you might lose the future you love? And I feel like I balanced all of the above and stuck the landing really well! (Honestly, the whole story was worth writing just for the bit in chapter three where Mav calls Ice 'baby' without thinking and Ice bluescreens so hard he drops what he's holding.)

there's a raging fire in my heart tonight

Top Gun&MCU, Iceman Kazansky/Maverick Mitchell, Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau, Carol Danvers & Iceman Kazansky, Iceman Kazansky & Tony Stark, MCU/Coherent Storytelling

“Carol, you can’t bring a civilian into this—” “Civilian?” The temperature in the room seems to drop twenty degrees as Ice steps forward, flinty-eyed and deadly serious. “I’m a captain. And I earned my rank, which is more than I can say for you, Rogers. Thanos killed my husband. You want to stop me from helping you out, you’re going to have to shoot me.” Silence stretches out, long and fraught with tension. Then Stark laughs out loud, and everyone turns to look at him. “What?” he says. “I like this guy.”

This was the first Top Gun fic I ever published, and the first Top Gun fic I wrote on my own. (At the time, I was working on baby, baby, i'd get down on my knees for you with the fantastic @academicgangster, without whom I never would have gotten into Top Gun or on the Tom Cruise train at all.) Naturally my first foray into this fandom ended up being this chaotic, complicated beast of a fic, where I wrote my faves Iceman Kazansky and Tony Stark and Carol Danvers side by side, fixed all my issues with Avengers: Endgame, and gave everyone the happy ending they deserved (especially after all the additional angst I put them through). I had a blast writing this fic and rambling about all the details with Cain (without her support this fic would never have left our tumblr DMs). There were a lot of plot points to juggle, and I managed to juggle them all. So though I've definitely grown as a writer in the (oh god) five years since, I still look back on this fic very fondly, and very proudly. And who knows, maybe someday I'll go back to this series and write more of Ice accidentally acquiring a son in Tony Stark and a granddaughter in Morgan. (Famous last words, I know.)

Judge Leon AU

Night Court (1984) / Night Court (2023), Dan Fielding/Harry Stone, Dan Fielding & Leon, Olivia Moore/Donna "Gurgs" Gurganous, Neil Valluri/Gabby

When his court-assigned public defender quits on his first night as an arraignment judge at Manhattan Criminal Court, Leon decides to reach out to his old foster father, Harry Stone, for advice. He finds Harry's widower, Dan Fielding, instead.

shot:

chaser:

I could not tell you for the life of me why the hands down angstiest fics I've ever written ended up being for an 80s sitcom whose plotlines include a ventriloquist's dummy committing suicide and my blorbo getting so horny he had to fuck a firehose about it, but here we are!! Over sixty-four thousand words later!!

In all seriousness, though, I'm extremely proud of this series. I have a lot of issues with New Night Court (I have a post in my drafts about that), namely that it lacks the edge and darkness that made the original so good, and this series gave me the opportunity to restore that edge and really make us feel Harry's loss, as well as the loss of almost all the other main cast members. I get to be goofy (a man holds the gang hostage on the advice of members of his favorite subreddit) and I get to be angsty (delve deeply into Dan's low self-worth and depression and grief post-Harry's death) and in all the spaces between, I get to write about how much Harry and Dan loved each other (and develop Leon and Dan's growing bond), and I do it all very, very well. (Certainly better than the NNC writers. Let me into the writers' room, guys!! Help me help you!!)

Austin Alone

9-1-1 Lone Star, Billy Tyson/Owen Strand

After the reopening of the 126, Billy and Owen give being friends with benefits a try. Inconvenient feelings ensue. / Season 3 AU, Owen-centric.

I co-wrote this fic with the lovely @lilalbatross while season 3 was still airing, and not only were we so in tune with the characters and the show that our fic accidentally predicted the future (exploration of Owen's abandonment issues! Owen getting trapped in a collapsed building!), but this fic set my standards so high that now the show can no longer reach it. (To be fair, this is largely because Lone Star decided to become the Tarlos and Wyatt Show above all else, but that's a rant for another day.) I'm proud as hell of this fic for a lot of reasons - I got Billy and Owen's voices down pat, put them in mortal peril that was realistic to the show, and wrote some banger lines of dialogue and prose that made me take honest to god victory laps around my house. The entirety of (the very long) chapter 6 might be some of my best work of all time.

For A Minute There I Lost Myself

Ted Lasso, Nathan Shelley & Original Male Character(s), Nathan Shelley & Ted Lasso, Nathan Shelley & Rupert Mannion

Nathan Shelley and the road to redemption.

[sigh] Really it's such a shame that Ted Lasso never got a season three and so we never got to see Nate grow and thrive at West Ham and bond with his players and stand up to Rupert and become more confident in himself and his ability as a coach and apologize to Ted and just in general have a redemption arc that was not centered on some random one-dimensional mean waitress or his ability to play the violin. But at least we have this fic!

I wrote FAMTILM for Yuletide in 2021. I'd never written Nate's POV before - all my Ted Lasso fics up to this point were about Sam and Dani - so I'm proud of myself for being able to capture the nuances of Nate's voice and write the slow growth of Nate's self-esteem and realization that he was in the wrong and his affection for his players (particularly Višnjić and Roubeni, who are in my top ten favorite OCs I've ever created). I'm also very proud of myself for taking what could have been a 30k word story and telling it just as well in under 8k, and writing a full Natedemption arc in less than a month that turned out to be ten times better than what Sudeikis and co accomplished in twelve bloated episodes.