#Tom doesn’t hate it

[devdevlin]

A brief (and inappropriate) retelling of Hermione's polyjuice incident.

DON'T ASK. I don't know where this came from, ok? Ok. My pregnancy brain is fried and apparently, I don't know what shame is anymore, so here you go, have an odd and uncalled for drabble. I'd say don't judge me... but tbh, I probably deserve it 🤷‍♀️

"Ahh!"

At the distant, high-pitched scream, Tom slowly lowered his newspaper.

There was a concerning stretch of silence, until a quiet shuffling from upstairs started; hurried, panicked footsteps, ones that told him he needn't get up. Whatever the problem was, it would undoubtedly come to him.

Tom resumed his reading.

Sure enough, not even five minutes later, and the footsteps gradually pattered their way down the stairs.

"...Tom?" he soon heard echoing in from the other room.

"...Yes?"

"Can you... I think I need your..."

Hermione, he knew, would rather eat her own pants than come to him for help, and so, properly intrigued, Tom folded his paper and put it aside. "What's wrong?"

There was another pause and some more shuffling from the doorway, before a quiet, "do you promise not to laugh?"

Tom laughed. "That will depend on what you're about to say."

"Tom!"

"Tell me what's wrong."

"Promise you won't laugh!"

"Fine, fine, I won't laugh," he promised, leaning forward eagerly in his chair. "Just come out. You're starting to worry me."

Another stretch of quiet. But then, right as Tom was about to get up and force her out—

Hermione stepped into the room.

Tom prided himself on his self-control. It was one of his best qualities, one that set him far apart from the rest of his peers, but even he wasn't above snorting at the sight of her.

She immediately turned and walked back out.

Tom, at a complete loss, covered his mouth and muffled his chortling as he got up and followed after her. "I'm sorry," he called out. "Wait, really— I'm sorry. It just wasn't what I was expecting, that's all."

He caught her in the kitchen, where she whirled back and glared at him. "You promised!"

"I did, I know. I'm sorry," he said, but he wasn't really. Because with a pair of ginger ears and a squashed nose, with her pants riding low enough on her hips for a long, bushy tail to poke out the top, she looked... hilariously...

Cute.

"Are you going to help me or not?!" she snapped, gesturing to herself.

Tom looked her down and up, taking her all in. Huh. She had claws, too. "How did this happen?"

"I... a little bit of polyjuice, is all. But I must've added the wrong hair..."

"It would seem so," he said. "Whatever were you playing with polyjuice for?"

"I... well... I just wanted to... surprise you," she admitted. "I know you don't like to celebrate, but I thought... it's your thirtieth. I had to do something, and I thought this might be a way to do it that you'd be okay with."

"You thought I'd like it if your gift... was yourself in the form of a cat?"

"No! No, not a cat..."

"Who were you supposed to be, then?" he asked suspiciously.

"...N-no one."

"Hermione."

"I..." she sighed, and then grudgingly muttered, "I was trying to turn myself into you."

This time, he tried—he really did—but his laugh couldn't be helped.

"Tom!"

"Sorry, sorry," he repeated, "I'm sorry. But, honestly, why would you—"

"I have another batch upstairs," she said, flushing. "Once I was you, I was going to come down and offer you the other batch, so that you could turn into me, and then... I thought we could... you know."

Slowly, as her words sunk in, Tom grinned a wide, involuntary grin. "Actually... now that you say that... I'm not quite sure I do know," he said, stepping towards her. "Why don't you tell me more?"

Hermione crossed her arms. "This is humiliating enough without you rubbing it in! You know what I mean!"

"Do I?"

Her ears flattened.

"Well..." he said, pressing his lips together to keep from laughing again as he closed further in. "As unfortunate as this all is... it doesn't all have to be for nought. Maybe we can still... make this work."

"...I beg your pardon?"

"Just me... you..." He leaned into her and reached around to trail his hand along her thigh, until he reached the base of her tail at her waistband. He gently gripped the base. "...and your tail..."

He slipped his fingers down the length of it, over the silken, ginger fur, until she swatted him off.

"No! I— stop that!"

"Why?" he said. "It'll take hours to wear off. I can think of several good uses for all this until then."

"Absolutely not!" she snapped, pushing back from him. "Wh-what do you mean, good uses?"

"What do you think I mean?"

"I... I think that if you can't help me, then I'd rather not know about—ahh!"

As she'd turned to storm off, Tom took hold of her tail and pulled, hard enough that she stumbled back, her back colliding flush against his front.

"Something like this, I think," he murmured low in her ear, keeping his grip on her tail tight, holding her in place.

"Tom, that—ow, that hurts."

"Good."

She tugged to free herself, but Tom didn't let go, and twisted them to shove her forward, pinning her between himself and the counter.

"Ow, I mean it!" she hissed.

"So do I," he drawled, and now that he had her pinned, he took her tail in his other hand too, and sliding it up, right to the base, and stroking down its length firmly. "Tell me... what does it feel like?"

The tip of her tail twitched against his leg at his touch. "It's... ah, um," she squeaked. "Sensitive."

"Is it? Well, why don't we find out just how sensitive it is..."

"Tom—"

"Shh, shh," he shushed, slipping his fingers around the tail and down, down beneath the waistband of her pants to where the fur ended and the smooth patch of skin just below it started.

He felt it as she shivered and a tremor jolted up her spine, joined by a quiet, gentle—

"Oh," he breathed, "you can purr?"

"I... I didn't know... I didn't mean to..."

Tom laughed into her neck. She sounded mortified.

"It's all right," he told her, stroking even lower, brushing right against where the skin became silky and started to pucker. "I don't mind, but... now that you mention it, I do wonder how it'd feel if you purred with my dick in your—"

"Tom!"

"I'm just curious. It is my birthday, after all..."

[unlawfulchaos]

Ice: Hey kiddo, breakfast is ready.

Baby Bradley: Thanks. Should I give the old bitch some, too? I think he's upstairs.

Ice: We've already talked about this. Slider called Mav that ONCE in the heat of an argument and you are NOT supposed to repeat it.

Ice: Also, yes.

[lovebeatriceplz]

Thinking about! Severus Snape, who was truly alone. If you haven’t read the books, they confirmed that his father was a drunken bastard, and he did come from a broken home. Lily was the first person in his life to love him, and he unintentionally pushed her away, and held her cold stiff body as the life left her eyes. I also believe that he sees Dumbledore as a friend, yes, he swore to follow Albus after lily’s death, but a part of that loyalty came from the heart. Dumbledore has many flaws and has done some questionable things, but he did indeed love Severus as well. So in his entire thirty something years, two people truly loved him, Lily was killed by Voldemort, and he was forced to kill Albus himself. Now, Harry could have loved him to, every time I enter this phase again I’m overwhelmed by the feeling that a friendship could have developed between the two, but when Snape looked at Harry he saw James, he just couldn’t let go of that bitterness (which is not his fault that’s a human emotion). It’s not until he’s on his deathbed, when he tell Harry “you have your mother’s eyes”, that’s him acknowledging and accepting that a piece of Lily was always with him, a piece of someone who loved him was always there. In this essay I will-

[punch-love]

tom holland’s spider-man ruined fandom perception of the character in 9000 ways but the worst is making people think that peter is nice and a sweetheart when really he’s an asshole who people find immensely hard to be around

[calkale]

not to bring this up AGAIN but i cant believe they did that to ilsa

[saintsir4n]

— there are some things I want to say, many of which are regarding race!

The fact that Francesca Amewudah-Rivers is receiving hate the fact she’s playing Juliet is not surprising, since people do not need reasons to hate black women. She’s a dark-skinned pretty woman but of course, because she has prominent black features she’s seen as manly and shouldn’t be playing alongside someone like Tom Holland. I’m not one to put down people but Tom Holland is not God’s gift, and neither is he publicly defending his co-star, a matter that I won’t get into as the focus is Francesca. The role of Juliet is one that was originally played by a man, and since then has been played by people of different ethnicities, some being black women. The fact people are using her appearance or the fact she’s deemed as “not conventionally attractive” is disgusting as if that’s an excuse. I’m glad that over 800 black actors signed a letter in solidarity because of the racial abuse as well as the production company who issued their own statement.

POCs especially darker-skinned women are constantly the target of racial abuse even over things that don’t exist and yes I am talking about fan-casts, especially tangled. I haven’t watched the film but I know the source material isn’t from Brothers Grimm but a Persian poem written in the 10th century by Ferdowsi, 8 centuries before it was turned into a “German folklore.” It’s hilarious how micro-aggressions and racism come out when people think white characters aren’t at the centre of it all. People crying about how their younger selves Would hate to see a stunning South Asian actress in the place of a blonde hair, blue-eyed ADAPTION of an original when brown and black girls had little to no representation at all. “Why can’t we stick to the originals?” Please look up what the original is before you start with your insults specifically those who are crying on TikTok or trolling on Avantika Vandanapu’s Instagram.

And lastly, stop bringing Tiana into it. She’s based on a real person just like Pocahontas, their race is important to their stories, black and indigenous, it’s tiring and also just foolish to post edits of “if they can have an Asian Rapunzel why can’t we have a white Tiana” when it’s clear that missed the plot of the princess and the frog, blind to/ ignoring its micro-aggressions (that are written in solely for a black character) and are just showing their bias all in defence of a film that doesn’t even exist.

And before anyone starts on “Why don’t you just invent your own characters?” Many have tried and the movie itself wasn’t watched, had little to no promotion or has been whitewashed but of course that gets little backlash.

And don’t get me started on wish…

So just to conclude, stop attacking us!

[invisiblearsonist]

I could’ve told everyone on the planet that coriolanus snow was gonna break down and go nuts just from the fact that he gets a buzzcut. never ever trust a buzzcut.

[anythingbyadriannelenker]

hello, would you like some tea? i’ll put a kettle on. please have a seat. hey, i was wondering, dear friend, if peeta jackson had been cool and decided to include Tom Bombadil in fellowship of the ring, who would he have cast? i’m not necessarily asking for a fan cast but rather which medium-famous late 90s actor (á la cate blanchett or hugo weaving) would have been cast by pete jacket and fran walsh themselves. also, who would have played Goldberry? cream or sugar?

[mangora]

Disventure Camp AU where Aiden’s house is haunted and Riya’s a poltergeist who is actively trying to kill him meanwhile Jake is just some regular ghost who hates him and he keeps doing mildly annoying things like leaving his fridge slightly ajar or taking the cap off of his toothpaste so it’s a little dry in the morning

[halliserres]

watching iwtv 1994 when ur fully sam reid-pilled is so painful

[chuluoyi]

Snow lands on top… SNOW lands on top?? Chu don’t tell me it’s TBOSAS and Coriolanus Snow?!

ahaha you’re so right!!😋 i have a thing for murderous white haired man i’m afraid :’))

[rivercule]

Also shiv’s decision wasn’t purely altruistic or selfish. it’s genuinely a good thing that she gave her brothers an out, even if it was forceful, even if Ken doesn’t see it that way. But by letting her husband get crowned king she gets that much closer to the throne herself.

[gregmarriage]

god, i love tom wambsgans and his disaster of a love life.

first, he married shiv, knowing she’d cheated on him. she asks him for a open marriage on their wedding night. she can’t love him the way he wants her to. she’s so traumatised by her childhood and the roy life that she treats him like shit (i personally don’t think this is intentional. i think shiv hates herself for hurting tom, but she can’t stop. she just keeps doing it. she has a really warped view of love. she is NOT as evil as some people make her out to be) and he gets used as a doormat by her and her entire family.

then, there’s greg. who gives him attention where shiv doesn’t. who is tom’s emotional, and occasionally literal, punching bag. he’s to tom what tom is to shiv. at first. because you can see tom actually begin to care about greg pretty fast. but to his own detriment. he protects greg, even though, he doesn’t have to. even though, he should just treat him as expendable as he once said he was. but greg manages to lodge himself in tom’s heart and tom hates him for it. he’s married. greg is shiv’s cousin. they work together. it’s gonna ruin everything tom has worked to build. but the lines are way passed blurred by now. tom has fallen out of love with shiv, and into it with greg. but he doesn’t know if greg even loves him back. if he’s not just using him. will he stay? they’re supposed to be nero and sporus. the waystar two. greg made a deal with the devil, and sold his soul to tom. but is all that real? or has tom fallen for someone else who’s just gonna break his heart?

[zarophod]

the only character in succession who looks good in a turtleneck is Stewy. and also Shiv. and literally anyone else that isn’t Tom i fucking hate Tom Wambsgans in a turtleneck omg

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

my dad loves cousin Greg so much he blows all the tumblrinas outta the water

[lilnasxvevo]

I have to say something. Why does every man on Succession either have a homoerotic obsession with another guy or have a guy who is homoerotically obsessed with him