#Today is fucking garbage
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Today has been a reslly awful day. My disability claim got denied, and repealing it isn't a worthwhile choice for me. I may have lost my therapist, I dont know yet. If my fiance and I get married- which we only put off bc of the disability- we lose our food stamps, I might lose my state insurance, and our marriage could get nullified by the government next week anyways. And! To top it all off! The wedding dress I have been lusting over for 2 or more years is fucking erased from the internet, because of trumps tariffs on China. The dress just doesnt exist anymore. It can't be bought in america.
Can people send me pet pictures please? Idc if you have a cat or a spider, just send pet pics...
#Oh and then i fucked up my miso soup#Today is fucking garbage#Im so sick and tired of knowing like nobody is ever coming to help any of us#There is only us#And we have to save eachother
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really disappointing that bunjywunjy had to be pestered twice just to quietly remove their reblog after using their huge platform to encourage garbage like raving about the lesbian estonian soviet flag and how 'new pride flag just dropped' so people could go 'ooh pretty' about a flag that was forced onto us by ppl who wanted our culture gone and oppressed us for about a century in total if not more.
to say nothing or not show anything of the truth about that flag and quietly remove the reblog felt more like it was done out of obligation (and you didn't agree) rather than care for the subject matter that is still a fresh wound in our country's memory. it's only been 33 years since it ended.
I'd rather you make the mistake about something you didn't know (eastern european history is easy for westeners to overlook, because we're not a big country like them, we're not england or france or spain or germany) and admit/apologize for said mistake or even just outright state that you don't actually care rather than say nothing and quietly remove something so that people would stop talking about it
#regardless of your opinions on communism the ussr was a tragedy for much of eastern europe#and we still suffer under its effects today#did you know that when the ussr occupied us that estonians couldn't even be the majority of the population in our own country?#they flooded in and tried to make our country like them#they arrested anyone who wore the colors of our flag#and all while they settled into our countries (it wasnt just estonia but amywhere they occupied) they forcefully deported us out of it#into moving steel boxes of the trains in the harsh winter#people packed in like anchovies with barely any room to die from the starvation#but nobody talks about that#nobody cares about eastern europe#nobody bothers#so i get american tankies telling me garbage like how im just reciting 'CIA propaganda'#as if i give a fuck about what some yankoid organization in some unrelated country says#our families lived that shit#at the time i was born the only people who couldve gotten an estonian birth certificate were still children#what do you think our mothers and fathers and grandmothers and grandfathers lived in?#people only care that a flag looks pretty#and not what the flag actually meant
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Mon Loup
Please send help, Wenclair has taken over my brain.
Per usual, do not reupload without credit/permission. Thanks folks!
(My ko-fi, should you wish!)
#never drawn a werewolf before#ok that's kind of a lie#I've never drawn a werewolf that I did not think was absolute garbage before#but this idea came to me and I simply could not do anything until I drew it#so today we learned how to draw a fuckin werewolf#kind of sort of it's like 60% of the body here but shush#also experimented with a couple new brushes which I am digging greatly#I feel like I'm cheating on RWBY not drawing bumbleby LMAO#but like same dynamic so#close enough for the regulars eh?#but yeah feel free to follow for more wenclair cause hoo boy the brainrot is beginning and it is hitting hard#(you can claw the bees from my cold dead hands tho dw they aren't going anywhere)#wenclair#wednesday netflix#wednesday#wednesday addams#enid sinclair#wednesday x enid#pov you fucked with the WRONG little goth#She'll kill you and so will her big golden retriever wolf gf#temp tats art
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danmarch 🐉💎
#honkai star rail#dan heng#march 7th#danmarch#fanart#hsr#what else do i tag. i have no idea#anyway. im breaking my VERY LONG oc art streak to post my one(1) contribution to star rail#i care them very much#ive been playing this game so religiously and they have not left my team#tragic past(emo) vs tragic past(girly pop)#theres NO WAY with marchs very teenage girl mind that she does not have a crush on the hot cool mysterious yet caring dragon guy#who stays in the room right next to her#and the fact that he teases her so much........#the whole ass belabog quest he throws in little harmless march roasts every so often#he fucking CARE her#i bets shes like a filipino mom with that camera. every oppertunity (picture!!!!)#and dan heng gets dragged into it#he is honing his photography skills against his will#any nice place? shes like (lemme pose can you get a photo of me?)#dan heng just sighs#they bond over silently judging stelle rummaging through the garbage#cast each other that best friend glance as half her body is sticking out of a trash bin#i like to think you see them hanging out on the train together#with dan heng reading some obscure 8th century book on civilization pattern and development#and march is humming and putting stickers and aesthetic shit in her scrapbook#taping a piece of antimatter legion loot in the middle of a page#and with bubbly handwriting (we beat some bad guys today!!! <333 so fun!!)
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Me: aaagh I have so much shit to do Sunday. Need to make sure I stay on track.
Me approximately 2 hours later: made a guy.
Made a snail yesterday too actually. Turns out it's very easy to make a terrible snail. His name is Snorbert (short for Snail Norbert, of course).
The sheep's name is southdown, for anyone curious, due to incredible resemblance between him and the southdown in my Fleece and Fiber Sourcebook.
Some baby pictures.
#snorberts a fucking mess ngl#handspun yarn#knitting#knit plushie#not done a single thing i need to do today before you ask#blocking him rn#my sister says he needs sninsides (snail insides) but sounds like an awful lot of work#the stuffing is just some rolags i hated and will never spin#actually a really good use for such wool#i have so much good nice wool and in the process have also acquired some garbage wool#so this guy is made of habdspun scrap and garbage wool
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Man, today was really rough and really bad and really long and and I just needed my son today. I really needed my son, you guys.
#my characters#oops i fell in love#its totally fine i just have probably cried for an hour total since i left work like 3 hours ago#its totally fine i am just super miserable rn and feeling like garbage but its fine i just have to go to sleep#and not leave the house tomorrow and ill be a lil better#it was just so bad today im exhausted i needed to see my son being happy#my lil anxiety incarnate trash can man guy deserves it#and in saying that youd THINK it would register that i also deserve some joy but nope ! off to be miserable and sleep#on a lighter note ig in regards to him in the silly dnd au he does in fact get a Magical Companion#and he gets to choose what it looks like (within reason aka the DM guy says no dragons)#and he is super happy to say he wants a raccoon companion and his best friend is just beaming internally#bc hes the one that made the comparison of right being like a raccoon with those bags under his eyes and garbage eating habits#so anyway i dont know how to animal which really sucks cause i didnt use a reference until coloring and so you know what#at least its INTENTIONALLY a magical companion so fuck it we ball close enough im done
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There's only one person I truly hate with all my being
#and its some random bitch from the internet#fuck you jackal#talking about how I started hating him would require TRIGGER WARNINGS.#he almost made me fail my freshman ELA class because I had to spend all hour comforting my friends who he hurt#then all was forgiven because “he's a kid! he can change!” i never forgave him and he never truly changed#he tried to tell lies about me to my friends#and. for context. this was on discord#it was a community where I was one of the 3 pillars of it. and I'm close with the other 2.#me C and H were the people people wanted to be friends with. or wanted to *be*. we were the top 3 of everyone! and im not being conceded.#twas a small community#I was known for being skilled! but also. people thought I was kind. (some people thought I was bossy because I was kinda strict)#< (strict being I don't tolerate bullying or slurs at any capacity.#but so. when Jackal lied to H. H knew it was bullshit.#anyways Jackal stuck around somehow even tho everyone KNEW. The Jackal Situation was an ARC in that server.#anyways C made Jackal a mod over a year later bc la-de-da-de-da people can change~ and he wasn't a dick. for about 5 minutes.#he got fired today and i was fucking ECSTATIC#I hate him#he thinks hes hot shit. he's hot garbage is what he is#he's so tone deaf and abused power constantly#i never stepped in because I have such a strong hatred that i can never be fair to him again#im permanently against him. he'll never ever gain any respect from me.#he lied. he baited us. he made my friends spend so many sleepless nights crying. he tried to make them die by saying theyd go together.#i saw through it.#anyways I like to believe I have a good judge of character bc he always made me uneasy#he gifted me nitro and was polite before baiting us. but i was like. ehhhh. what's wrong w him?#anyways he's a pissed off bastard now#anyways heres some previous life drama hooray
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Burying all my anxiety and fear and dread about today in gainer brain
No thoughts :) Just belly :)
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and FUCK THAT STUPID ASS CITY OF LOS ANGELES GOOD NIGHT
#i live here and it sucks#whole city smelled like garbage today#how fitting#fuck the dodgers point and laugh 🤣🤣🤣#sharks lb
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come talk to me while i clean my room <3
#caplan speaks#dear god please distract me#i feel like total garbage today#and im so fucking anxious
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Actually, last post regarding current events:
You won't see me talk about it further in my rp blogs. I do my fair amount of complaints and venting on my main - and, sidenote, im sorry for anyone who's around there today because I sure ain't feeling like being peppy and funny today.
This account is my way to escape reality. And it's likely going to be my way to release at least a little bit of. All of this.
I cant do anything but hope everyone, especially my dear friends and mutuals in the US, stay safe. Be kind to eachother, riot against this bullshit. Let yourself be heard.
Im going back at flipping angry burgers with a little too much toppings today.
#ooc#current events#work was garbage too today and i wish my higher ups a very go fuck yourself. im adding extra toppings to literally everyone#world's bleak. life's bleak. i guess we can just carry on tho.
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a cool thing to recognize when you get hung up on perfectionism in art: you don't have to show what you make to anyone. if the story is nonsense. if the drawing looks like trash. if you fuck up too many stitches, if you get all the colors wrong, if you finish the piece and truly do hate it--no one ever needs to know. it can go into a trunk or a drawer. it doesn't have to ever be seen.
but if you don't make it first, you won't know if it's worth sharing. if you don't make it, you don't get to decide how you feel about the finished product.
make the art. what do you really have to lose?
#make good art#or make shitty art#make art that feels shitty while you're making it and turns out to be rad as fuck in the long run#it's a process dude. trust it. and do the thing#i've been wanting to draw for weeks but been too freaked out about the potential for it looking tragic#and like. fuck it! i'm drawing today. if it's garbage no one else will ever know#it's worth doing either way
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#i feel so crappy today#what fucking moon is it this time??#just feeling so garbage about my latest fic#i feel like i shouldn't have posted it at all#the banner is the only thing i like about it#maybe i should give up on writing again#it's not even about the amount of notes i get anymore#im just thinking ive gotten so rusty#even rereading the Kinktober fics I've written and im appalled by how just...not good they are#having a time#how does one even stop having those feelings
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Honestly, now I know more about Florence and Tuscany, I'm devastated we just came for the day to see Carrara. Carrara was awesome, but I would've loved to see Lucca's paper mills, and Florence is so beautiful with so much history. Even Pisa was more than I expected. Already making plans to come back and just chart out 10 museums and half a dozen hikes to the top of the Alpen range. And just appreciate all the shit Medici money went into!
#ptxt#our mine tour was awesome too. bro and i still learned things and it was AWESOME to see the mine's active state#even though the workers werent running today. We also fucked around with the geology a bit and that was great too#Also Im genuinely obligated to say every time i stay at a hotel in europe and have breakfast#i get pissed off at the shit we get in the states. its really just garbage. they feed us garbage there#the fact the 'cheap stuff' here is eatable and varied and healthy AND tasty blows my mind#European m00ts you have it so good ;-;
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current self care is listening to anthony bourdain narrate kitchen confidential again for the third time
#when I tell you he is my favorite person who’s ever lived I fucking mean it. he makes me weep when he talks about the beauty of food#also today is so garbage …. so so garbage and I need the garbage to stop. I’m too tired#wurm.txt
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On one hand: AHHHHHHJH ITS FUCKING OCTOBER FUCKERS ITS SPOOKY SEASON BITCHESSSSS
Ont the other i have a test I will fail in four days please kindly stab me with a javelin until i wiggle on the ground and die like a trout
#I can’t even study because I the teacher has decided I don’t get to learn it at school and must figure it out at home#:(#after this week hopefully I’ll be done with her class forever#fucking hate science#my dumbass garbage brain doesn’t want to learn this useless garbage subject#it is soooo useless#anyway SPOOKY MOTHERFUCKING SEASON#spooky songs are gonna be on CONSTANTLY#im gonna fail an exam yippeee anyways feel free to javelin me I need to be dead by Friday#shit fantober starts today
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