#To print Jehovah's Witness stuff.

[pepperpatrol]

I fall into a deep burnout depression every year in November until about the middle of January like clock work bc strangers berate me, physically threaten me, throw shit at me, scream about how I'm ruining christmas etc etc all coinciding with the time of year that the sun starts going down at 3PM, a moratorium on sickdays and vacation time and hundreds of stupid fucking boxes every day but I don't get to send any of them to jail for 15 years.

[deeisace]

sig 6 complete - Numbers is halfway through sig 7, and I hope to concentrate enough to get 7 and 8 at least finished today

[disease-danger-darkness-silence]

Okay, I can afford food, condiments, and possibly drinks for Raven's birthday party!

Raven grew up a Jehovah's Witness. They've never made a big deal of their birthday. Yesterday they kinda forgot it was their birthday. They've never asked for anything. Even their Amazon Wishlist is more a shopping list for them. (Linking in case anyone wants a looksie about Raven and their interests. They're a weird and diverse gal and I love them for it.)

So when Raven asked for a "Nerf War" for their birthday I was DETERMINED to make it happen. They've been wanting to Nerf fight my niece Madison (aka the Angry Prune, only 11 years old now) for years. This will also be the day my granddaughter makes her Dart Gun Debut, with a full discussion on gun safety.

Info about maybe helping out under the cut.

We don't actually buy Nerf products (unless they're secondhand or on clearance) because they're owned by Hasbro and we are boycotting them, but Adventure Force, Dartzone, X-Shot, and Air Warriors are all actually pretty damn good. Dartzone is known for making competition-level guns for Dart Sports (a real thing!).

So the thing is, plenty of people want to come. Not all of them have dart guns. We have some spares but idk that they're gonna be enough. But Walmart has some decent Adventure Force stuff.

Ideal goal would be to get two of the single pistols, one of the double, and one of the spare darts. So, roughly $21 after tax.

I'm gonna TRY to 3D print some guns. I have STLs for it. I just don't know how successful I'll be, and if I'll be able to get it done before this Saturday. I need hardware for them that I'm unsure I own, even though I'm a hoarder of hardware, and I definitely don't have the springs. 🙃

I'd also like to make some goodie bags, because I'm tired of society saying we shouldn't give adults fun goodie bags. It'd probably be candy, spare darts, 3D printed alternate dart tips, and a few other assorted things. That I can mostly do with dollar store stuff, but I expect I'd need another $10-$15 or so. I'd SUPER like to be able to provide eye protection. But...

They ain't that cheap. So I've asked everyone to bring some for themselves. Hopefully they listen.

So! If anyone wants to help get some fun stuff for Raven's birthday (There is a theme incoming):

Cashapp: $NovasPrime

Paypal: @NovasPrime

ChimeSign: $NovasPrime

Ko-Fi: NovasPrime

If not, it's cool. I super get it! But feel free to send a birthday wish to Raven via my inbox (they don't use tumblr) so I can show them that yes, their birthday IS important, because we get to celebrate them existing. They are so used to being overlooked on their birthday and it's upsetting to me.

(Also, I'm gonna try my hand at drawing my idea of their Hazbin Hotel demonsona. I cannot draw. I will post results here.)

[somedaytakethetime]

In the vein of writing my lost chapters of the Old Testament and just.. I don't know ranting about things I'm interested in or on my mind but I try not to bother my friends with because this is uninteresting, I'm using this mess as a personal diary again. After the jump that is, I'm still kind, you know?

So, in case anyone is reading this, which I doubt, and you're unaware I'm nearly 30 and thus lots and lots of introspect are happening lately. One of the things that has been most heavy on my mind is my wardrobe and how I dress. Yes, I know that's vain, but guess what? I'm vain. Also I don't want to look sloppy, I'm technically a grown woman even if I still feel like a child 😭😭

I've been thinking about comfort and practicality, not just trendy stuff that I like the look of but won't ever wear. I'm trying to wear things that make me look decent and possibly if everyone has been drinking even pretty. I've been hyper obsessed with the whole seasonal theory thing, and Kibbe body types, trying to figure out what I actually look like in terms of proportions and colouring, etc. I started years ago, actually, but I've been extra on it lately because I really want to create some sort of capsule wardrobe if you will.

Over the years I've acquired a few nifty talents: my mother taught me how to sew and I taught myself how to pattern draft a few years ago, she also taught me how to cross stitch and embroider, knit and crochet. I improved knitting and crocheting on my own over the years with the help of the internet, and books, and recently I've been trying to teach myself to pattern draft for knitted garments. The concept of drafting a pattern that will fit your body is almost the same in every medium you can use, but knitting up fabric is a tad different than cutting it out so there's a lot more maths, trial and error, involved. BUT with these skills in mind I've essentially gotten to point where I don't need to buy clothes at all, I can make everything I want or need, and embellish it accordingly.

I've narrowed down a few things: I won't ever wear low waisted things again. I lived through the 2000s, we had our 🍑 crack on show from how low waisted those jeans were... I don't ever want a low waist or a mid waist again because I'm only 1,57m (5'2'' I think, if that's your style) and I've convinced myself I have a long waist (I don't even know, the bottom of my ribs are nearly glued to the top of my hips but I still don't think I look short waisted..) so I don't want my legs to look even shorter. I also don't enjoy super tightly fitted clothes anymore. Not a fan of a skinny jean, not a fan of a top that's so tight I can't breathe (been there, done that), not a fan of tight dresses either because I don't love the way my body looks. I don't accessorise a ton anymore, a very simple thin chain necklace or two and very small earrings are the most I do. I have sausage fingers and wearing rings starts to get on my nerves after a while, bracelets are a no go except if I'm dressing up. But for dressing up I still keep things to the minimal of just metal jewellery. I'm not a high heels girl anymore, I'm also not really a ballet flats girl anymore. I prefer a trainer or a loafer because I'm still an old man at heart. Not a huge fan of a ton of ruffles, floof and huge prints anymore. My tops need to be cropped or at least only a fraction longer than waist length, because that's full length on me, everything I wear is high waisted. I sort of hate my legs but I've noticed they actually look better if I wear short skirts and shorts (mid thigh) vs if I wear midi length skirts. I look like a Jehovah's witness.. I think in order to combat that I need to keep the longer skirts to more fancy stuff and just wear short ones for daily wear. Possibly add a low back or a v neck with a long skirt, makes it less Catholic schoolgirl which was my mode of operation before...

As for colours I've noticed that I gravitate towards navy blue and greys a lot more than any other colour. I wear black, brown, jewel tones and even autumnal colours (which makes sense because if I'm doing it correctly I'm a dark autumn) but I tend to like navy blue and grey most. I barely own anything cream, beige or white... I don't look super good in bright white, for me it needs to be off white. Beige, taupe, cream, coffee and latte I can look decent in. Depends on the saturation. And so I need to fix the lack of lighter tones in my wardrobe because spring and summer are also seasons... and I'm not Scandinavian (no shade to their style at all, I take inspiration from them), I'm not super fond of wearing all black in the summer, it's hot as balls here and I would melt outside like that 😭

I've been clearing out my clothes and essentially stockpiling almost everything I own to donate to people that will want it and wear it, because I need to create a lot more things that I will wear instead of just having stuff hanging in my closet. So far I've reviewed some of my clothes, gone through all of my shoes. I need to go through all my accessories and bags, and look over the fix and mend pile of clothes that I have, to see what I actually want to keep and will realistically wear. I prefer trousers for daily wear, I need house clothes that are comfortable, loose and stretchy, and I'll add a few skirts, shorts and maybe a "fancy" dress or two in the mix for a more formal activity I might need to go to. I should probably make some summer dresses, realistically that's the season when I might gravitate towards them most because they're easier and a no brainer outfit. I still think I own too many coats because honestly? In the dead of winter I only really wear my big brown coat. It has a lining that's like... I don't know a skinned teddy bear... I think it's an imitation of sheep wool, at least it looks that way, and it's extra large on me which is perfect for the dozens of layers I wear. I need to dye my denim jacket, I don't like how light it is anymore, it looks dated to me now. I have two old lady oversized blazers, one in a posh 'I go hunting on the weekends' tweed (got it from a family friend and it's probably from like the 90s but I like the look of it) and one in black that I need to fix the length of. I'm keeping these even though I don't wear blazers... I feel like they might come in handy for something that's I might need to look put together for. Got a basic trench that swamps me a little and I'm unsure if I should keep, a grey teddy bear coat that I don't like the length of and I'm wondering if I should shorten it because it would probably get more wear that way, my Nancy Wheeler burgundy jacket (not like her actual jacket but it looks really close to it and I love it, bought it just because of that, it's staying 😤) and a short 80s fur short coat that a friend gifted my mum.. in the 80s. I'm don't support the fur business but I love that coat and I feel bad tossing it knowing animals died for it. There is no such thing as fur recycling or donation stores here, I know the US has things like that but here we don't, so the coat stays where it's been too even if it's a more rare wear for me because I feel like it's so.. over the top. I have a weird hung up on trying not to be too over the top now, I've been that for years.. 😅

I still have beef with my sweater collection. I have LOADS of yarn to knit up a few sweaters in the upcoming months using source images on pinterest (I'll address that in another post) and thus it's making me ponder the sweaters that I already own. I kept quite a few of them after the clear out but I'm still wondering if realistically I'm going to wear them or if I'm just saving them because I've grown attached to them... I barely have any trousers, I mean.. I have a few pairs, but they don't fit properly and I've been so lazy to fix them. I need to fix that in the upcoming months too if I'm going to have clothes to wear. I saved buttons ups and I'm still pondering why I'm saving some of them, two of them are EXTRA LARGE on me, but they belonged to my grandfather, who's died now, and I sort of like that connection to him.. I just need to find a way to style them that won't make me feel sloppy I guess... WHY DO WE CREATE EMOTIONAL BONDS WITH OBJECTS!? WHY??? THIS IS SICK!

Also.. WHY IS THIS ALL SO COMPLICATED ACTUALLY!??!? REALISTICALLY HOW MANY CLOTHES DO I EVEN NEED?? AND HOW MANY SHOES??? WHY DO I OWN SO MUCH CRAP!??!? I WANT TO THROW OUT EVERYTHING I OWN IN RAGE BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I EVEN HAVE SOME OF THIS STUFF!??? CENTURIES AGO PEOPLE OWN LIKED3 TO 5 CHEMISES, 3 OR SO KIRTLES, PROBABLY ONLY 1 OR 2 SURCOATS AND THAT WAS IT! THEY HAD LIKE TWO PAIRS OF SHOES: ONE FOR SPRING AND SUMMER AND ONE FOR AUTUMN AND WINTER!! AND GUESS WHAT?? NO ONE WAS NAKED! I HAVE ONE (1) BODY AND TWO (2) FEET WHY DO I NEED ENOUGH CLOTHES TO DRESS A SMALL VILLAGE!?? I SHOULD JUST MOVE TO A NUDIST COLONY AND LIVE LIKE THAT! EVERYTHING IS BUY BUY BUY 'MUST ITEMS THAT YOU NEED FOR THE SUMMER OF 2023' 'TOP 20 PIECES YOU NEED TO HAVE IN YOUR CLOSET' '25 PIECES A GIRL CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT AND YOU MUST BUY RIGHT NOW' I HATE EVERYONE AND ABOVE ALL I HATE MYSELF. And.. exhale. That's out now. I need to do that one, it was festering in me... ANYWAY! That's the intro I guess, I'll go over inspiration images and plotting in the next post.. whenever the next post happens.. I still have A LOT to clear out and to go over in my wardrobe 😅

[weaselbeaselpants]

That Krispy Cat: A Warning, part 3

The last of the images cause I don’t want this bitch on my computer anymore. 

Knowing tumblr I kept the images hidden JUUUUST in case no one reads the fine print and can’t tell I’m being critical of this and gets me in trouble.

VVV ((Just in case you thought the JewishGriffon piece assured everyone that Crispy couldn’t POSSIBLY hate people of color, some of her earliest Nazi art had her character Klaus beating up Amigo Bear. She also made Amigo into a liberal strawman. )) VVV

((Dialogue to one of her TROLLARIOUS pictures that featured Amigo:

Amigo Bear: *muttering* "Your leader was a !@#$% little #@%^!@$^*!, you fascist feather duster..." General Klaus: "Fräulein, Ich vant you to cover your ears und shut your eyes as tight as you can." Crispy: "How come, General?" General Klaus: "Klaus ist about to say und do very bad sings zhat he does not vant his little Edelweiß to see or hear." Crispy: "Alrighty!" General Klaus: "WHO SAID ZHAT ABOUT DER FÜHRER? WER DIE FICK GESAGT? WHO'S ZUH SCHLEIMIG LITTLE COMMUNIST-SCHEISS SCHWANZLUTSCHER DOWN ZHERE, WHO JUST SIGNED HIS OWN DEATH VARRANT? NIEMAND?! GOTTVERDAMMT STALIN SAID IT! HERVORRAGEND! VHICH VUN OF YOU VANTS TO BE ZUH FIRST TO FIND OUT ZUH HARD VAY VHY MEIN FEINDE CALLED MIR DER BUTCHER BIRD?" ))

^^^ ((BUTOPHERARTISGOODSOYOUCAN’TCOMPLAIN

also the disc. for this pic before it was deleted had a ‘joke’ about cooking Jews in ovens. Oh and yes, that IS Hitler she’s giving that ugly ass cupcake too.))

^^^ (( - Thanks dA I never would have known I had a notifications unless eclipse blah -

This is one of her rants about how #Triggered she is that Starlight be compared to the Nazis when she runs a communist cult. Because A) that’s the real problem here and B) I too get upset when people say my OC is based on Jeffrey Dahmer when he’s so CLEARLY based on Ed Gein, Bwwwaaaah D> D> D> !)) ^^^

VVV ((Ugly art of her friend’s awful OCs.)) ^^^

VVV ((Crispy showing off why no one wants to be a patriot in our country.)) VVV

((FYI, Crisp, that attitude will make the Hamilton fans stronger so just keep that SJW-flinging coming you little SJW.

WHAT?! Social Justice is a broad term and as Crispy’s plainly demonstrated, you can circle it around and make a majority-class sound like the real underprivledged if you have enough fancy frou frou know-how and furries. Also, if a Social Justice Warrior constitutes someone who takes their cause soooo seriously that they’re annoying/petting/cruel/stupid about it....idk I think Crispy qualified.))

^^^ ((Crispy and her friend muse about what other races occupy the world of MLP in her headcanon. This, more than any other dA disc. and picture shows you her brand of “Segregationist-Nationalism is OKAY” thinking, cuz the art of these different races isn’t super offensive or cruel and neither are the characters. BUT if you scratch under the surface you’ll find that Crispy really likes these different people staying in their place and not in “someone else’s” country.

THEN, this same kind of thinking is used to convince you any mix of cultures is just cultural appropriation, again acting like she and her Nazi-stans are the only ones standing up to actual bigotry.)) VVV

^^^ ((Crispy makes the world a worse place by bringing up actual decent points; like how Americans dress Thanksgiving up as progressive and for the natives when we all know that’s not true...all to better her worldview.

fyi, GET OUT whenever you see a selfproclaimed Nazi fawn over Native Americans, because: Nazi Germany had a deep fascination with American Indians and used their struggles about their land being taken away from them to justify their eugenic genocide.)) ^^^

^^^ (( Crispy laughing it up on Furaffinity how she couldn’t be banned from her Furaffinity and then mysteriously never using her site there wowie.)) ^^^

^^^ (( Crispy complaining about SOPA cause her freedom of speech and blahblahblah.

Freedom of Speech is important. Unfortunately what people like Crispy don’t understand or care for is there’s no freedom of consequence. )) vvv

VVV ((LOL Joseph Mengele was such a stinkah let’s tell blithe jokes about him. At least WE AREN’T LIKE HIM!!!)) VVVV

VVV ((Early onset eugenic BS from her Spyro stuff that would be easy to miss if you didn’t know what this woman was talking about)) VVV

((Crispy admitting she thinks gays are pointless cuz they don’t reproduce but apparently loves them anyway. Also big shock Crispy’s seen Hetalia.)) VVV

VVV ((Crispy probably wanting Weeaboos to attack her cuz aren’t Japan’s animations so laaaaaaazy?!!?!? GUUdd think’ I’m a naziaboo! Germany’s never made any shitty animation evah. You know what, I lied. She doesn’t deserve Hetalia. She just doesn’t.)) VVVV

VVV ((Crispy dragging Brazil down with her as the apparent “Best South American Country”. Yikes.)) VVV

VVV ((More “it’s trolling ergo it’s not harmful” shit. Bulgarians probably do deserve their own Care Bears, but they certainly don’t want yours Crispy.)) VVV

VVV ((Disc. for her Richard Spencer bear art)) VVV

------

I know, I know...this isn’t what you wanted to read today, guys. I know it’s offensive and I’m sorry if it made you ill. I also know I’m putting my own blog under fire by showing these images here but I think that should say something about dA’s bad policies that this art gets a filter slapped on it and nothing more when the artist is blatantly pro-fascist.

Crispy resonates with me so much - and no it’s not cause I DARED to be “triggered”.

It’s because, for one, she was talented. I MEAN I HAVE EYES! That’s some nicely drawn digital stuff I’m not gonna deny. She had some cool rewrites and sequel ideas that, had it come from someone else I would have eaten up and faved to hell and back onceupona2012. But I didn’t, where a ton of MLP and furry fans did because they undervalued their own talents and would say “well it’s pretty who cares about the message?” 

Unlike so many commercial+published artists, it’s REALLY hard to separate the art from the artist here because the artist is so connected and a part of her art and storytelling. If you fav her art, even if you didn’t like her, that was telling Crispy she’d won. It’s so defeating to have other artists say their gonna ignore their gut for the sake of prettypretty-Don-Bluth style art. And yes, that stigma DOES affect my view on 2D purists btw.

Crispy was so holier than thou’, and that attitude also was appealing to dA folks, not to mention her knowledge of art history by the time she dropped off the radar. Crispy was the kind of person who’d make long, detailed, justified rants against the design and color choices in Hazbin Hotel and then a bunch of antis would eat her redesigns up only to learn the awful truth later and embarrass themselves cuz they were so taken up by the craft they didn’t know they were reblogging a fucking Nazi.

Not to underplay Viv’s wrongdoings of course, but I’m sorry; the two aren’t comparable on the problematic artist meter. THAT’S HOW BAD CRISPY WAS.

If this somehow was just a faze and she’s come to her senses or doesn’t really think this shite she preaches...I don’t care. She said some vile shit and fuck no I’m not forgiving her. It’s like KenDraw or Shadman. You’ve changed your life around and realized you’ve done/drawn nasty shit that’s done real harm? Cool....I’m still not talking or ever promoting you, ya dingbat. You ain’t no Roman Polanski or Doug Tennaple. You’re a singular internet artist and any support of the project has to go to you - and you suck!

ThisCrispyKat was a wakeup call that showed me these people not only still exist but will be allowed to get away with it. I was very touchy bout this kind of thing back in the day. Fuck, I STILL AM TOUCHY. The rabbit holes I found thanks to Crispy opened up to reveal communities where people think my hair color’s going extinct. People would detail how much they wanted to rape me - a natural blonde - and kill my friends and family for not looking like me. That they want to jerk off in my naturally curly hair and see me in glowy German princess gowns preparing them dinner.

Crispy and other Nazistans would look at me; a blond-haired blue eyed Polish/German American woman and think I need to be “fixed” because I DARE to repeat propaganda that the Nazis were bad. They’d call me a traitor for thinking that celebrating the Nazi party ISN’T German pride.

HOW DARE YOU TELL ME THAT’S GERMAN PRIDE! I’LL SHOW YOU GERMAN PRIDE YOU EGOSTROKING-LIMPDICKED ATTENTION WHORES.

People like Crispy make it 1000x harder to actually show interest in German things. Because I AM interested in German shit btw.

Like for real: it’s a country I’d love to visit one day (at least the black forest, which is where my mom’s fam comes from). I love German art and German fairytales slap. I really do want to explore my heritage through art and stuff.

But guess what? Much as Crispy would argue to the contrary I DO know my WWII history and beyond and FUCK YOU if you honestly think jerking it to cuddly Nazi-furs is empowering or just “showing your interest in history”. Take your own advice and read a god-damn book.

TL;DR: I DO NOT have to be proud of Nazis to enjoy German culture and if you think otherwise, FUCK YOU. It’s a slap in the face to everyone even if you are ‘just trolling’ and it in no way values actual German’s feeling on the matter. It’s annoying how people undervalue real people just for the sake of fan art.

The Nazis were evil. They were racist, eugenic-genocidal idiots who killed over six million Jewish people, Romani, Slavs, Jehovahs Witnesses, disabled people, Poles, homosexuals and prisoners of war. They would have killed my dad’s side of the family if they were in Poland at the time. They made bullshit tanks that killed the people making them and didn’t work on the battlefield. Their leader was a fat, farting one-testicaled bastard who preferred animals to people.

They ruined everything for everyone and then took the easy way out, leaving the Germans that were left in the hands of the also-genocidal Soviets and Americans. Germany is still paying their war debts and now, 70-80 years later everyone else wants to laugh off this dark period of history with memes and forget what they did, and as such, are forgetting the victims of the genocide.

I have 0 tolerance for Nazi things for the sake of HUMANITY, let alone the individual groups they target. I don’t have to have German ancestry or know a single Jewish person to tell you any of this. It’s fucking history.

Eat shit.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Have you always known what you've wanted to do with your life, career-wise?  I thought I did. My freshman year in high school I learned what psychology was after having a health and psychology class and decided then it was something I wanted to pursue. Prior to that I knew I wanted to help people, but I was thinking like a counselor. I was always the friend people came to if they needed advice or just someone to talk to. In middle school I remember going on those AOL teen message boards and offering advice there. I loved trying to help people and being the one to lend an ear. In college I majored in psych and obtained my BA. And then that was it.  I have no plans or interest in pursuing anything further, so obviously a psychologist isn’t in the cards anymore.  I honestly have no idea what I want to do career wise. 

If you found out you couldn't bear children, would you be willing to adopt? I can’t have kids, but I also don’t want any.

Would you stay at a haunted hotel? Nope.

Could you live without the Internet? I mean yeah, the world would keep on spinning, but I quite enjoy my internet and would like to keep it.

Do you always remember to bring a towel? I always set out a towel before getting into the shower.

Spiders: Kill them or let 'em go? Well, I don’t do anything. Noooo way. I get someone else to get rid of them!

How do you feel about Paris Hilton? I don’t care. I very rarely hear about her anymore.

When drunk, are you: violent, crazy, clingy, talkative, or depressed? I got talkative and the word vomit liked to come out. I usually also ended up feeling depressed and lonely by the end of the night.

Do you know who is on the $5000 bill? (yes, it does exist!) James Madison. They don’t make ‘em anymore, though.

What is the best HAND-MADE present you've ever received? A quilt a friend of my grandma’s made for me when I was a kid during one of my hospital stays. 

Do you Yahoo? My email is Yahoo.

Have you ever gotten pizza delivered to your house that you didn't order? Nope.

What's the most disgusting thing you've ever encountered while at a hotel? I haven’t had a bad hotel experience, thankfully.

What would you do if Hugh Hefner hit on you? He died a few years ago, but anyway he wouldn’t have been interested in me. Which is perfectly fine haha I don’t want some pervy old man hitting on me.

Is the price always right? No.

Do you smell what the Rock is cookin'!?!? Nope. (And yes I know that was his wrestling tagline or whatever back in the day).

Are you gullible? I’m a pretty skeptical person. 

What's the craziest rumor you've heard about Marilyn Manson? That he was the kid from The Wonder Years lol. The friend to Fred Savage’s character. I have no idea how or why that rumor got started.

(Insert random song lyric of your choice here): “Cause I’m one step closer to the edge, and I’m about to break.”

Does unneccessary punctuation annoy you? It’s unnecessary. 

Do you know anyone who was born on leap year? Nope.

Do you follow a 5-second rule after dropping food on the floor? Ew, nooo. Once it hits the floor it’s trash.

Do you think that only unclean people get head lice? Nope, major misconception.

Are you skilled with balls? (like basketball or baseball, you perv!)  Nope.

Did you take Flintstone vitamins or any others as a child?  Blech, yes. Those were so gross.

What types of things do you think the government is hiding from us?  I know a lot of people think there’s something going on given current events. I’ve seen those comments.

What would you do if the Kool-Aid man busted through your wall? If something just randomly burst through my wall it would scare the shit out of me omg.

Have you ever been to an art museum? Yeah, a few.

How do you like your soda: Glass bottle is best, followed by fountain soda, but can and plastic bottle are fine, too. I used to love soda, but I don’t drink it anymore apart from when I take my medicine. 

Do you recycle? Yeah, we recycle cans and plastic bottles.

Can one person really make a difference? Yes.

Which is worse: elevators or escalators? Well, all I can take are elevators, so. The thought of being stuck in one scares me.

Are you gonna make your momma proud? I feel like such a huge disappointment. 

Ring the bell for service or wait patiently for a minute first? I’d wait a bit first.

Boomerang or Cartoon Network? Boomerang is cool cause it shows old stuff from my childhood. 

Have you learned anything valuable today? Not so far.

What's your favorite kind of Doritos?  Nacho Cheese and Cool Ranch. Back when I could eat spicy food; though, I would have picked the Spicy Nacho ones. They have Flamin’ Hot Doritos now, which I’m sad I never got to try.

Do your parents have MySpace pages? No. They weren’t into social media stuff back then. They have a Facebook, though. 

If you had a time machine, would you go to the past or to the future? I’ve always wanted to go back in the past, but now there’s a big part of me curious to see past this coronavirus stuff. Like when will it end? Will it? That could also be terrifying, though. The future could end up looking even worse...

What if Darth Vader was YOUR father? So I could be a jedi? Sweet.

Do you honestly know how to play Monopoly or just make up rules as you go? I think I’ve played it the right way. For the most part, anyway.

Be honest...ever peed in the pool?  Nooo.

Do you ever fathom the amount of words in the English language? It’s pretty wild.

Have you ever pulled a fire alarm? Nope.

Do brain teasers tickle, confuse, or fascinate your brain? They definitely are often confusing, but I like them. 

You're hungry. All there is to eat is stale chips. Eat 'em or not? Mehhh probably not. 

Have you had your tonsils removed?  No.

If Ashton Kutcher punk'd you, would you feel the need to punch him?  No, but depending on the prank I might be upset or pissed off. I loved watching that show back in the day, though. I also had a crush on Ashton Kutcher at the time, ha.

Have you ever fallen off of a treadmill while walking/running?  I’ve never been on a treadmill.

Do you drink milk right from the bottle/carton, or pour yourself a glass? I don’t drink milk at all.

Isn't Chef Boyardee awesome? I wouldn’t say it’s awesome, but I do like Spaghetti O’s. 

Do you like marshmellows in your hot cocoa? Marshmallows are a must.

What reality show has been taken WAY too far? I’m just wondering why The Bachelor is still on. That’s one I never got into.

If you were going on a trip, would you Mapquest the directions first? I used Mapquest back in the day, like when you still had to print out directions. Now I just use Google Maps on my phone. 

Do you hide when Jehovah's Witnesses knock on your door? We just don’t answer the door.

Did you ever think any of your teachers were HOT?  Nope.

If you farted in front of your significant other, would he/she care? I’m single.

White Castle: nasty or absolutely yummy?!  I’ve never a fresh White Castle from the actual place, just the kind you can get in the frozen food section at the store haha. Those are good, though.

Must you grab a souvenir from almost everywhere you go?  Haha I’m a keychain gal. I also like getting a shirt or hoodie.

Have you ever walked out on a movie at the theater? Which one?  I remember doing that once, but I don’t remember what the movie was.

Did you enjoy making things out of Play-Doh as a child? Yeah, I loved Play-Doh. If I ever happen to be around Play-Doh and get a whiff of it, it instantly takes me back to childhood. It’s such a nostalgic smell.

[too-many-plants]

An Incomplete List of Familial Shenanigans

1. My dad once used his nun-chucks to probably break some guys knee. The only reason my dad owns and knows how to use nun-chucks is because he was a fan of teenage mutant ninja turtles and liked the turtle that had nun-chucks.

2. My mom has been to the supermax prison in colorado about six separate times for her job.

3. I have an uncle who lives in a hill. No, literally, it’s a hollowed out hill with windows that are equipped with steel shutters and solar panels so that he can remain off-the-grid in case of the apocalypse. 

4. My aunt (married to the uncle above) has worms in her basement for composting. She refers to her husband as her “mate”. And she believes she met my dad - whom she is not related to - in a past life. On a different planet. Where he was a prince. 

5. My dad went spelunking a bunch, but one time he did it impulsively without telling anyone where he was going or when he should be back - before the age of cellphones (not that phones would help in a cave) - with a guy who turned out to have a conviction for manslaughter. My dad only discovered this when they were well into the cave already. 

6. I have a great uncle who really deserves his own post, as his shenanigans include, but are not limited to, laundering money, a racket scheme involving selling cars, probably printing counterfeit, and maybe involved in a mafia hit

7. My mom works as a court reporter and, honestly, the amount of crazy stuff she’s been privy to via the legal system borders on absurd. One time, she had to take Santa’s deposition. Yes, a man who works as one of the mall Santa was being sued because he ran one of those train things kids can ride on during the summer. 

8. The Demon Car: the original (parental version) and The Demon Car: back for revenge (my version)

9. That one time my dad almost fought a bunch of Jehovah's Witnesses with some of his coworkers from mcdonald’s

10. That time when a guy was stealing a lot of money from mcdonald’s and was giving my mom hush money for unknown reasons, but then she accidentally snitched to the manager, who is my dad, and the dude got fired. 

11. When my mom and dad were draining their waterbed they used to have when they were still living in an apartment and may have flooded someone’s apartment on the floor below.

[jw-horror-stories]

This is not meant to sound confrontational or anything. I was wondering what your opinion is on feminism? I'm what I like to think of as a real feminist. Equality across the board. I feel men have disadvantages sometimes. For example, help for single dads, custody battles, cases of abuse, ect. I disagree with the whole women are superior mentality but also with the women are emotional and men have no feelings. I believe all that is social conditioning. We're all people at the end of the day.

FEMINISM SUCKS.

There are a number of tenets of feminism that I can truly get behind (equality of the two genders, etc.). However, recent developments within the feminist movement has left me, shall we say, disappointed.

Feminism, and by extension this “Social Justice” movement, has gone too far with attempting to police everyone’s behaviour. For example, the concept of “micro-aggressions”. I’ve seen it all become less about being excellent to each other and more about being so scared to be “sexist” that I swear everyone’s got OCD or something.

Then there’s the black-and-white morality I’ve noticed with modern day feminism. I’ve been accused countless times of being a “sexist” or a “Trump supporter” for telling everyone to calm down and talk things out. It just reeks of black-and-white morality.

Then there’s the concept of “Patriarchy”. In many cases, if you replace “Patriarchy” with “This System of Things”, you get an eerily similar political narrative as that of Jehovah’s Witnesses. For example, all the talk about oppression because of The “Patriarchy/TSoT”, and that only “Feminism/Jehovah” can truly combat this, etc. It reduces all the actual problems in this world into a simple narrative of “Good vs Evil”. You just can’t do that. This clip from Steven Universe aptly describes what the world actually is like, and it’s good to remember when you’re starting to get out of any cult mindset.

There’s also the fact that there are things are simply factually wrong. The “75 cents per Dollar” narrative, for example, is actually the result of a general trend of women generally taking lower-paying jobs (exceptions do in fact exist). Rape culture doesn’t exist, and rape is treated very, very seriously.

And, for some reason, modern feminists really, really dislike gun ownership. Even if it’s about as far removed from the topic at hand. And, as mentioned before, disagreeing with them will mark you as a “sexist”.

Really my reasoning boils down to “I disagree with a lot of the fine print stuff”.

-Mod Degurechaff, ex-feminist.

[aion-rsa]

Watchmen Episode 5 Easter Eggs Explained

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Detective Looking Glass' origin story is revealed, and Adrian Veidt's plan becomes more clear in Watchmen episode 5.

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This episode contains Watchmen episode 5 spoilers.

About halfway through Watchmen episode 5 "Little Fear of Lightning," you should know that we've officially hit and surpassed the midpoint of the series. HBO's Watchmen only consists of nine episodes (not twelve), so it's time for the pieces to start falling into place and for some mysteries to be revealed. In this case, the mystery is why Wade Tillman/Det. Looking Glass is such an odd guy and why he behaves the way he does, while we also take giant steps towards untangling the mystery of Adrian Veidt/Ozymandias and whatever the Rorschach-influenced 7th Kavalry have been getting up to. If you spotted something I missed, let me know in the comments or hit me up on Twitter, and if it checks out, we'll get this updated.

Now, let's get to work. The clock is ticking...

HOBOKEN

- The episode opens in Hoboken, N.J. minutes before midnight on Nov. 1, 1985. You can hear a radio broadcast announce that the Doomsday Clock has been set to 1 minute to midnight, just as it was by this point in the book.

- Hoboken is located across the Hudson River from Manhattan and lines up almost exactly where the giant squid materialized, died, and detonated a psychic shockwave that killed millions. Hoboken’s proximity to Manhattan means it would be right in the path of that blastwave, just as residents of that city can often see and smell fires on the big island.

read more: Why Does it Rain Squid on HBO's Watchmen?

- Overall, this looks like a reasonable forgery of Hoboken in the 1980s, the buildings are all roughly the same height, and it feels like they’re roughly halfway up Washington St. As the camera pulls back from the carnage at the fair, you can spot Frank Sinatra Drive. Hoboken was the birthplace of Frank Sinatra, and his music features prominently throughout this episode.

- Hoboken was a haven for record shops back in the day, but I’m not sure if ZigZag Records ever existed there. However, the sign for that record shop here bears a strong resemblance to the defunct, departed, but beloved ZigZag Records that used to be located at Brooklyn...two rivers away.

- The pseudo-punks we see in Hoboken (and who terrorize poor young Wade) are the Knot-Tops subculture who featured in the book. One of them is wearing a shirt that says “katies” a reference to the street name for a drug called KT-28 which was used by many members of the gang. I guess they couldn’t get tickets to see Pale Horse at Madison Square Garden that night...not that it did them any good.

- You can spot a poster for the Pink Triangle benefit concert that was also hung on the side of the newsstand in the book.

- The bus that drops off the crew of young Jehovah’s Witnesses, including young Wade Tillman (the future Det. Looking Glass), is #486, but I’m having trouble finding any significance to that number or the numerals it consists of. Similarly there’s a license plate that reads BHS463, but I don’t see any greater significance there.

LOOKING GLASS

- As quickly becomes apparent, this episode is the origin story for Detective Looking Glass. That’s young Wade Tillman (played by Philip Labes) who gets humiliated in the funhouse hall of mirrors right before experiencing an excruciatingly traumatic psychic tragedy. It’s no wonder he’s a little bit off back in the present. His mask is more than just a convenient affectation, it’s made of something apparently called “reflectatine,” a material believed (probably just by crackpots) to protect from psychic blasts. It explains why we’ve seen him eating with his mask on at home. It’s also revealed that he lines his baseball cap with the stuff. It’s basically a “tinfoil hat.”

- Wade’s trauma has informed every aspect of his life, and keeps an alert system from a company called “Extra Dimensional Security.” Incidentally, the fact that they still deliver comprehensive print catalogs is another fun little reminder that the internet isn’t a thing in this world.

- Looking Glass is fond of eating cold baked beans right out of the can with his mask half rolled up, a habit he shares with Rorschach.

- Wade’s ex is named Cynthia Bennett, but she is an original creation for the show. Their relationship lasted seven years, and Wade makes the obvious mirror joke.

- Wade runs a support group for survivors dealing with trauma after the squid attack (there’s a pamphlet called EDA and You, presumably that stands for ExtraDimensional Anxiety). He greets new members by asking if they’re a “friend of Nemo.” Captain Nemo was a creation of seminal science fiction author Jules Verne and appeared in the novels 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and The Mysterious Island. He was notorious for doing battle with giant squid. 

- It sure seems like Wade is probably gonna be taking ye olde dirt nap after this episode, but we’ll have to wait to find out. But we do hear the ominous ticking of a clock during the part of the episode when he’s exploring the warehouse, and we last heard that in the leadup to Judd Crawford’s death. So it might be a tell that if you hear the clock ticking, someone’s gonna die.

- Is anyone able to make out the newspaper headline on the wall of Wade’s bunker? It seems like it has to do with 11/2 and Manhattan, but I can't quite nail the specifics of it.

ADRIAN VEIDT

- On the streets of Hoboken at the start of the episode you can spot someone reading a copy of Tales of the Black Freighter (presumably the same one the kid is reading all through the book), and on the back of it you can see an advertisement for “The Veidt Method.” The Veidt Method was a self-help program “for physical fitness and self-improvement” launched in the ‘80s by Adrian Veidt that was dedicated to “creating a new you” by combining mail away exercise, nutrition, and bodybuilding techniques with philosophy and new age thinking. The letter that greeted applicants contained Veidt’s “all best wishes and encouragement” sign off we heard him use in the letter to the Game Warden in episode three.

- As we see several times throughout the episode, Veidt’s philosophy about getting the world to believe there was a greater threat absolutely worked. It’s brought up in casual conversation, and you can see it in the philosophy espoused at the EDA support group, where they take the squid attack as proof that there are other dimensions.

- Veidt’s “confession” video was recorded on Nov. 1, 1985, minutes or hours before he unleashed the squid attack on New York City (and Hoboken). Redford was shown this video on Jan. 21, 1983, the day after his inauguration (which lines up with the day Bill Clinton was inaugurated in 1993 as well). HBO’s Peteypedia supplemental materials revealed that Veidt was also a major public player in the election of President Robert Redford, although the knowledge of his role in the squid attack never caught on publicly, despite the publication of Rorschach’s Journal.

- Within that video, Veidt refers to using “fear” as a weapon and says “and I am its architect.” This is more than a mere turn of phrase. “The Architects of Fear” was an episode of sci-fi anthology series The Outer Limits. It’s basic story? Scientists decide that the only way to prevent nuclear apocalypse is to convince humanity that we have a common enemy from another world and thus need to put aside our differences. Sound familiar? This story was the source of great friction between Watchmen series editor Len Wein and writer/co-creator Alan Moore, as Wein felt it was too similar to what Moore delivered in the book. The book, however, does reference the intro to The Outer Limits at one point, perhaps as Moore’s way of paying homage to the source.

read more - Watchmen: Jeremy Irons on the Mystery of Adrian Veidt and Ozymandias

Veidt also confesses that he has engineered “additional small scale extradimensional events” to keep up the illusion. In other words, the squid rain we first saw in episode one and that has been referenced throughout the series now has an official explanation.

- Veidt appears to be wearing the hieroglyph for the Eye of Horus on his makeshift spacesuit, a symbol of both protection and power.

- Is Veidt (and his prison) on a moon of Mars or Jupiter? While Mars is the obvious choice, there appears to be ice on the surface of that moon, and neither of Mars' moons (Phobos and Deimos) have them. On the other hand, two of Jupiter's moons, Io and Europa contain both oxygen and water in sufficient quantities that you could imagine Dr. Manhattan successfully synthesizing the environment necessary to create life. The music playing during his little lunar adventure is Claude De Bussy's "Clair de Lune."

- Veidt appears to write “Save Me” or “Save Me D” using the bodies of his servants. “Save Me Dr.” perhaps?

- The “memory pills” are called Nostalgia, which was also the name of a perfume line by Veidt in the 1980s. Are these a later creation by Trieu Industries rather than Veidt?

DR. MANHATTAN

If there’s any doubt lingering in your mind, it almost certainly appears that the bizarre environment Veidt has been imprisoned in is something of Dr. Manhattan’s creation. His outburst (and the Game Warden’s agreement) that “your god has abandoned you” would seem to be a reference to that. Specifically, right before he left Ozymandias (and our plane of existence, seemingly) in the book, Dr. Manhattan speculated on the possibility of creating life of his own.

RORSCHACH AND THE 7TH KAVALRY

- That giant red eye symbol we see painted on the wall of the warehouse that Wade explores will probably be significant later on, but it does also kind of resemble the squid eye in the book, doesn’t it?

- When Senator Joe Keene talks about being taken aside and shown a tape that reveals the truth about the world (in this case Adrian Veidt’s “confession” to President Redford), it feels like a bit that legendary comedian Bill Hicks used to do about the Kennedy assassination. OK, to be fair, Hicks did LOTS of bits about the Kennedy Assassination but this one from his Rant in E-Minor album is the most relevant…

“I have this feeling that whoever is elected president...when you win, you go into this smoke filled room with the 12 industrialist capitalist scumfucks who got you there. And you're in this smokey room, and this little film screen comes down ... and a big guy with a cigar goes, "Roll the film." And it's a shot of the Kennedy assassination from an angle you've never seen before ... that looks suspiciously like it's from the grassy knoll. And then the screen goes up and the lights come up, and they go to the new president, 'Any questions?' 'Uhhh...just what my agenda is.'"

- It would appear that Judd Crawford was legitimately involved with whatever nonsense was going on with 7th Kavalary based on his relationship with Joe Keene. But neither he nor Keene seem to actually be part of the 7th Kavalry nor their generally racist mission statement. But also note that we learned from HBO’s supplemental materials that the painting in the Crawford home was actually gifted to Judd’s grandfather as a token of esteem within the order (from an ancestor of Senator Keene's it would appear), so it’s still possible that the hood and robe discovered at the conclusion of episode two belonged to his grandfather.

read more: HBO's Watchmen, Rorschach, and the 7th Kavalary Connection

- The Kavalry are experimenting with teleportation, which uses some of the same energy that Dr. Manhattan gives off, hence the blue glow you see when basketballs materialize. They’re using a CX924 Teleportation Window from The Institute for Transdimensional Studies, also referenced in the book.

- Anyone else think our actual real world President thinks it’s called “squid pro quo?”

- Can anyone name the country song in the bar? This isn't trivia, I'm seriously asking.

HOODED JUSTICE

This week’s episode of American Hero Story: Minutemen offers a graphic depiction of the romantic relationship between Hooded Justice and Captain Metropolis. The pair were indeed lovers in the "real" world of Watchmen.

MISCELLANEOUS STUFF

- That’s HBO’s The Sopranos star Michael Imperioli in the New York City tourism company’s “Why We Came Back” commercial. We haven’t heard much about what happened to NYC after a disaster with a body count the size of ten 9/11s (and it’s worth noting that throughout the episode the squid event is referred to as “11/2”). Needless to say, it seems to have not yet recovered, even 30 years later. It does make me wonder how different a show like the New Jersey-set The Sopranos would be in this world.

Within that commercial you can see folks waxing about Broadway shows while holding a Playbill for something called “Oppenheimer.” J. Robert Oppenheimer was a key figure in the development and design of the atomic bomb. I wonder if Oppenheimer is the Watchmen universe’s Hamilton.

- Another product being focus grouped at the company Wade works as cover is a breakfast cereal called “Happy Harry’s Smiley-O’s.” Happy Harry was the proprietor of Happy Harry’s Bar and Grill, a dive by any standards and one frequented by members of the underworld. It was a favorite place for Rorschach to beat information out of suspects and their associates.

- What is the name of the genetics company? Their slogan is something about offering “the splice of life” which is hilarious. And of course, the field of genetic experimentation was greatly advanced by Adrian Veidt in the book, as evidenced by his super-pet, a genetically engineered lynx named Bubastis.

- In this world, Steven Spielberg won Oscars for a movie called Pale Horse, about the tragedy in New York City on 11/2 and its aftermath. The scene described, with the little girl in the bright red coat in a movie that was otherwise filmed in black and white, means that this may have replaced Schindler’s List in Spielberg’s filmography in the Watchmen universe.

- Each episode gives us another little glimpse at what happens when every liberal hobbyhorse policy is enacted. To that end, tobacco is now contraband in this world.

- This isn’t a reference to anything in particular, but it’s worth pointing out that Red Scare eats Cheetos with a fork. On the surface, this may seem ridiculous, but if you don’t want to get orange powder all over your fingers and everything else, it makes perfect sense. I once saw someone eating Doritos out of the bag with a pair of chopsticks on a New York City subway, and that all makes so much more sense now. 

- Panda is overheard saying that churches are “basically all the same.” This could be another sign about the low regard religion is held in the Watchmen universe, similar to the casual atheism Cal displayed in episode four.

Mike Cecchini is the Editor in Chief of Den of Geek. You can read more of his work here. Follow him on Twitter @wayoutstuff.

Read and download the Den of Geek NYCC 2019 Special Edition Magazine right here!

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Feature

Books

Mike Cecchini

Nov 17, 2019

Watchmen

HBO

from Books https://ift.tt/2OpDobD

[thestudvanira]

So I just woke up from a nightmare Prepare for personal stuff and pointless rambling I drove my partner to work at 5 and went back home to sleep a little more and silly me I forgot that anytime i go for a one or two our sleep I have vivid nightmares. So this time the dream, mostly nonesenical, was about my family. In this dream I had long her black hair and a gray beard. Which was really rad and I loved it but people kept calling my a girl. I remember in the dream trying to decide if it was the hair or just because my family is transphobic. We were at the kingdomhall which is the religious building my mother's religion uses (Jehovah witness) but it was the old building, the one I used to go to as a kid that is gone now. Converted to a daycare. My grandmother was crying and hiding behind my dad because she didn't know who i was. She was wearing her favorite cream church suit with her little cheetah print pumps. I loved that outfit on her. This was kind of realistic because she has trouble remembering things especially me because I don't look like the person she remembers and it's confusing for her. I felt awful and I tried to hug her and tell her it was okay but she screamed. So I backed away and went to talk to my nephew who was really disinterested in talking to me. I was looking through his drawings and he was rolling his eyes and pouting so I gave them back and tried to walk over to a different group of family members and I over heard my grandmother saying that the room I was staying in was for (deadname) not for me because she didn't understand we are the same person. My dad agreed with her though which made me mad because he SHOULD understand. At this point I was so defeated I felt so outcast that I decided to just wander off but before I could I woke up. All together it was a really shitty dream. Not a night terror this time I didn't thrash or physically cry in my sleep or any of that but it was certainly a nightmare. I've been avoiding my family. Only interacting with one of my brothers because even though he was the most abusive when I was a kid he is also the only person in the whole family who has ever admitted that he made mistakes and attempted to change his behavior. My sister tried adding me on Facebook with a new account she made just for family and I waited like 2 weeks before finally accepting it. Now though everytime her posts come up it just feels like a punch to the chest. I hate it. I don't want to cold shoulder her out of my life because she is supportive of me being trans but shes also completely toxic. Shes insulting, inflamitory, she exists by a series of double standards where in everything she does is excusable and nothing I do is. She is either completely self deprecating or viciously attacking people. Shes just not healthy and has never been healthy. I'm hesitant to call my family abusive. It seems unfair to people who have been kicked out, people who have been truly and horribly abused by their families. Yet I can FEEL myself regressing to this awful mental state when ever I'm around them. All these defense mechanisms come out and I run. In any normal situation im known for being the loud mouth friend that will NOT take anyones shit. Ill say ehatever im thinking ill call people out. I dont ket people treat me badly at all. Except family I feel so powerless around them and I cower and I hate that part of my self that just wants to crawl under the table and wait for the telling to stop. Even when they are being nice I'm just panicking waiting for the other shoe to drop and if they get mildly annoyed that's enough to send me into a complete panic. I ran out of Christmas towing my partner behind me, claiming we had other family to visit because my sister yelled at me for getting a friend of hers name wrong. (She used to be kerrie she got married and changed it to vanya) I haven t seen her since before the name thing and obviously I'm sensitive to that but she was vicious about it. I dunno this all such shit.

[houstonlocalus-blog]

What Are Your Super Powers and How Did You Get Them?: An Interview with Jon Read

Artwork by Jon Read. Courtesy of the artist.

  Houston artist Jon Read, who also performs as the crazed��noise rock of The Wiggins, has crafted a magical universe of his very own. Read has created an array of work centered on vibrantly hued comic superheroes and villains in painted cutouts, boards, works on paper and prints, conceived on the perceptions of good and evil. Prior to his solo exhibition at Bill’s Junk on Friday, Read spoke to Free Press Houston about the concepts behind the show, his comic book and the characters he’s imagined.

  Free Press Houston: Can you tell me about the concept behind the exhibition?

Jon Read: When I started grad school, I sort of rebooted and was doing a lot of religious-based work. I didn’t really know why at that point. When I wrote about it, what I liked about religion as an artist was that people can really get stupid with it. It’s like an accepted insanity. People can say, “I don’t want a blood transfusion because I’m a Jehovah’s Witness.” God says you can’t do that.” People can really go against logic, and we accept that as a culture. I was working a lot in a graphic novel class and was trying to make a comic. A lot of my artwork was based on dreams, so when I did a comic, I wanted to base it on this dream I had. I had this fantastic dream where I was in love with three robot girls, superheroes, I was just me, and my stepdad was the super villain, and I had a crush on the superhero. I thought it was such a cool, different take on superheroes. As I was doing it, I was thinking a lot about superheroes, 1989, when the culture wars happened, and that then was also the birth of the cinematic superhero. This was when the country started to be really divided. It was kind of the rebirth of the McCarthy era mindset. Then I was thinking about divisions and how superheroes are always divided, good and evil. It was also this talk about Batman years ago that a friend of mine said he liked Batman because he had no powers except that he was dressed up. It has a lot to do with where we draw strength from and going back to how Superman draws his power from science and how the villains draw their strength from God. I didn’t really follow suit with that at all. I was interested in the concept of where we draw our strength from in general, and also how superheroes always have an origin and a weakness, so I just created my own super-universe. I kind of played with that and made toys out of them. [laughs] I have one five-page comic that I created and the characters are back-characters, characters for me to interact with and that I really wanted to make my entire Justice League and Legion of Doom.

  Artwork by Jon Read. Courtesy of the artist.

  FPH: How did you decide to make a comic book?

Read: I guess it was just how I got into art in general. My mom is an artist and she encouraged us quite a bit to get us not to steal shit or beat each other up. [laughs] So we were always drawing and my friends got really into comics and started drawing them. Once I got to a certain age, I really got more into music, I was still making art, drawing a lot, but I never really thought about telling a story that way. I think that was a big thing, that I had never really formally approached it. I like what comics do, I like what they stood for, the allegories. One of the creators of Superman went to my high school and Superman was born in [my hometown of] Cleveland. Harvey Pekar of American Splendor also went to my high school. I grew up when he was around, just this weird guy. He’d have comic book shows and he always looked pissed off. I wouldn’t talk to him. I tried doing cartoons with the How I Met Your Mother team. They wanted to do a cartoon within the show so I started doing concept art for that. I really like creating characters. With the How I Met Your Mother stuff, it was more personal since I was the basis for one of the characters and friends of mine are back characters. But the cartoon never went anywhere, and it probably shouldn’t have. We had fun working on it, but I don’t know how the world would have reacted to my life intersecting with beloved sitcoms. [laughs] As a pop artist, it was really cool to be able to work on the tackiest, gaudiest sitcom of the modern world. I like developing the characters and expressions, almost like screen tests, but it was never a complete product. I had made a book before, like a children’s book for adults, nothing sexual, but mature themes in a children’s book style, and I was having a lot of difficulty getting that published. I wanted to make something really linear and readable and when you look at it you know it’s a comic book.

  Artwork by Jon Read. Courtesy of the artist.

  FPH: So how do you come up with the ideas for each character?

Read: I don’t know. One is just a giant baby. Really strong and invincible, but mentally not quite there. That more comes from our president, I guess. These are the main characters of my comic, these three girls. I didn’t really think about it, but I had this dream about them and it’s like this vision of them as if in a movie theatre, hovering over it. It was beautiful. As I was working on it, thinking about 1989, they really are Heathers. They really are. They’re just Heathers.

I thought a lot about what a super villain would be like and how they actually have their own Legion of Doom kind of compound. They’re super, they can do whatever they want. They don’t just walk around. It seems like that’s what they do in our world. They don’t hide at all. They don’t need to since there’s lawyers and laws to protect them. I think the political climate had a lot to do with it.

I was talking to one of the kids in my comic book class and he said I was doing it all wrong and that superheroes have to be in all primary colors and the villains are in secondary colors. I said, “I’m really glad you told me that, but now that I know that, I don’t know if I really care, and I don’t know if these are really the ‘good guys’ or just perceived as them.” It’s like politics where Hilary Clinton couldn’t present herself as a good guy for whatever reason. She tried and tried and she’s up against a really terrible guy who’s open about it and it just didn’t work. She was framed as a villain and she couldn’t switch. It was an interesting dynamic and very much a comic book story playing out in front of our eyes. I really do view the Democrats as the good guys, but I also hear people say that they’re “the lesser of two evils.” I mean, they probably think they’re good at times. I’m sure Trump thinks he’s a good guy. [laughs] So that’s interesting to me as well, our perceived image and our actual image and how much that plays with superheroes. Batman has bad PR, Spiderman had bad PR. They perceive themselves as heroes, but the media didn’t. So this is the whole relationship with people who are elevated above the masses and the masses themselves, that’s really interesting to me.

As an artist, you have to promote yourself and show why you stand out among other artists. I have to be this other identity in some ways in any kind of creative avenue. With music that comes up quite a bit. People have told me they think I’m one way from my music and say, “When you get up on stage, you just switch.” I say, “No, I’m singing a song.” If we were having a conversation, you wouldn’t like it if I started dancing and screaming. [laughs] It wouldn’t make sense. It’s still me. It’s strange when people know me in one way and come to my shows and it just becomes this weird Hulk transformation that’s perceived. It’s just the song.

  Jon Read’s exhibition “What Are Your Super Powers And How Did You Get Them?” opens at Bill’s Junk (1125 E. 11th) from 6 to 9 pm on Friday, April 21. The exhibition will be on view Saturday from 12 to 5 pm and by appointment through April 28.

What Are Your Super Powers and How Did You Get Them?: An Interview with Jon Read this is a repost

[some-jw-things]

Hi there, I know that somebody at work is a Jehova's Witness (I'm in Germany) and I wonder: Are there ways in which JWs will interact differently with jobs? I already noticed that he's cut his hours recently (the job is full hours if an employee doesn't ask for something else) and that he always needs several weeks advance notice if there's to be any chance of him participating in an after-work-event. What are the demands on JWs who earn money in a secular job?

The Society (Watchtower Bible and Tract Society, also called the Org) does have a fair amount of rules on how you work. Ideally, all JWs would be working part-time jobs and dedicating a bigger chunk of their time to the ministry, or some other form of free work for the Org. But that just isn’t realistic, so instead JWs are told to just work as little possible, make sure their schedule doesn’t conflict with meetings/service (church attendance and preaching), and not to befriend their coworkers

JWs in general aren’t supposed to take high-pressure or overly time consuming jobs, or anything that they might become more emotionally or mentally invested in than they are in the cult. They tell “heart-warming stories” of Olympic-track athletes who gave up their sport altogether, stuff like that. If you have a useful talent or skill, you’re encouraged to find a way to put it to work for the Society. Artists can go to Bethel (JW headquarters) and live on the compound and do free work all day every day, translators and construction workers are always desperately needed, the Org has its own lawyers who work just for them and I think they also use volunteers for the printing presses but I’m not sure on that one. And if nothing else, Bethel needs people to clean the toilets

Going there is considered an honor no matter what you do. That and certain types of ministry will require Witnesses to quit their jobs. “Elite” Witness preachers tend to live off the charity of whatever congregation they’re with, and Bethel is self-sustaining, but burnout gets people fast— it’s considered a young person’s thing, that can only be done for a few years, max

Witnesses are constantly being encouraged to sell all their assets, donate the money to the Org, quit their jobs and pioneer (meaning preach full time). Additionally, Witnesses are strongly discouraged from going to college and told to “simplify their lives” as much as possible

With having no choice but to work a JW is supposed to keep the job in its place and as an extremely minor aspect of life. You can’t accept jobs/promotions that would prevent you from doing cult activities. Jehovah’s Witnesses have three assemblies and one holiday each year— if you can’t get time off for those, then you are required to quit. They can’t befriend coworkers and are supposed to keep them constantly distant so as not to be influenced by sinful worldly thinking. No matter how friendly you are to a JW coworker, you will never be more than a casual acquaintance unless you let them preach to you a lot. Unless they secretly disagree with the religion/have doubts, their end goal will always be to convert you

The example you gave of your coworker is a JW doing things exactly how they’re supposed to. Contact with non-JWs (worldly people) is supposed to be kept as minimal as possible, if it can’t be avoided completely. If this man has responsibilities in the congregation, he may have had to cut back his hours or give up his rank. That is an absolute last resort for JWs. With the after work events, I can almost guarantee you he will try to get out of them as much as possible, and will skip entirely if they interfere with meeting/family study night. For a JW who’s very involved with it, it won’t matter what the professional consequences are, no matter how extreme they end up being