#To be understanding but still retain who I am and what I believe | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

shiny-jr · 1 year ago

Text

from DIASOMNIA

- Warning: Yes, this is still a yandere thing. You have been warned. Gender-neutral reader.

- Characters: Malleus Draconia, Lilia Vanrouge, Silver, Sebek Zigvolt.

- Summary: (Continuation, after this “we just got a letter, wonder where it’s from”) You have barred them from entering the safety of Ramshackle Dorm, but they are determined to make their words reach you. Which is why the letters begin arriving at your doorstep.

- Note: This is just the first part, only with Diasomnia. I’ll post the rest later once its written. For now, I hope you enjoy this part! Oh, and this was inspired by the mention of letters @qierxing‘s fic inspired by the whole imposter au idea. So yeah. Hopefully I caught all the mistakes in this post because I am not rereading all that again.

Diasomnia | Ignihyde

Among the first letters you pick is carefully sealed in a black envelope. You found it peculiar that Grim, who had offered to use his claws to open the envelopes, hadn’t been able to cause the slightest tear as if it were being protected by some magic. But it opened with ease during your first attempt to rip it open.

You didn’t care much for the wax family crest that had sealed it, or the black envelope itself. Maybe it would feel liberating to just set them all ablaze as soon as you finished skimming over the carefully written words.

To my dearest human,

I understand the pain I have caused you.

Ever since that moment I betrayed you, all I have seen in my vision and in my mind is your expression of terror. It tortures me. Your terror spurred by my actions and my very own hands. I am your most beloved and loyalest of companions in this world, and yet, had my retainers behind those doors not intervened, you would have been gone forever. And it would have been all my doing, all my fault.

I write this letter to apologize, but as I write this, I realize that there is no forgiving what has been done. Ever. No matter how I plead or what comes from my lips. But I will say this: there are no amount of words that can truly convey how sorry I am. This will haunt me for the remainder of my centuries of life.

Agonizing thoughts plague my mind and torment me at all hours of the day and night, at every and each moment. Even now, I reflect on everything I had done to harm you. While, the time I believed in those falsehoods was minuscule compared to the days others knew and acted upon it, the fact still stands that I was too easily deceived by mere rumors alone. I was blinded by my rage when I heard that someone dared to impersonate you and had been the probable cause of your vessel’s malfunction, that I did not even take a brief respite to consider the validity of the information that reached my ears.

Believe me, although I realize you have no reason to hold even a shred of faith in a single word I say and for that I would not blame you, but I will atone for the crimes I have committed. In any way possible. Even if it takes my entire lifetime, I will continue forward until I have achieved this goal and you may smile upon me once again. There is a human saying, which if I recall correctly I believe goes something like, forgive but never forget. Well, I would beg for forgiveness, while knowing full well that my misdeeds will never truly be forgotten. The harm I inflicted will leave scars that will never fully fade.

For every scratch my nails left on your delicate flesh, you may drive vines of the sharpest thorns against my own skin until blood pools all around me. For every bruise from my hand that tainted you, I would hand you an iron sword to use as you wish against me until you believe I’ve had enough. If it pleased you, I would even utilize my magic to transform into a figure with wings, which I would then proceed to sever the wings by my own hand and offer them to you on a silver platter.

Any punishment you can think of, I would readily accept.

Although living with the guilt of my mistakes and knowledge of the weight of my actions against you, is by far the most painful torture I’ve ever known.

If I do not receive word from you soon, I fear I may go insane with my own guilt. Yet I know I bring this upon myself. And if I were to go insane, if I was not insane this entire time already, you are all that would be in my thoughts. You are all that would remain in the part of my mind that is intact. You are currently and have been all that I think of, so perhaps my sanity is already long gone.

I would venture into the deepest crevices of hell and back, just to prove my worth to you. Even if I must be punished for the rest of my life, so be it. But I implore you to allow me to redeem myself, let yourself bear witness to the incredible feats I may accomplish in your name. Redemption... The thought of perhaps one day receiving the blessing of your smile and your grace once more in the near or distant future, is the light at the end of the tunnel in this dark period of my existence. I am yours. Whether you still desire me or not, I will forever be yours, and I will brave through trials of fire to demonstrate my eternal devotion to you.

Just know that I will do everything in my power to please you. Whether it be to fulfill the judgement you cast upon me, to demonstrate my worth and determination to achieve redemption, or simply because you command it so, it shall be done.

For now, I will wait on your response and deliberate over my next course of action. Should you desire anything, anything at all, wether it be something as simple as traveling to the store for a purchase, you have a moment of recluse and desire company, or if you command me to move the island or clear the very heavens, all you must do is speak my name. Then, consider it done. Once my name is upon your lips, I will be there as the last syllable leaves your tongue.

I will await the moment I am summoned.

Forever yours,

Malleus Draconia

That was... unnerving. Your hand unconsciously drifted up to the slight puncture wounds on your neck. They had long since dried, but you vividly remember feeling the thin trail of crimson being drawn and dripping down like a steady stream.

You could remember the way Malleus withdrew as soon as he realized the truth, like he had been burned with his hands on you in that fashion. The blood, your blood, staining his sharpened nails. The red was deeper than any nail polish or ink.

You were nearly sent spiraling, until you felt a tap and the texture of paper against your arm. When you glance down, you see Grim pressing his paws with another crumpled letter onto you. The ink on this letter is red, but the feline’s wide curious eyes are a glowing blue.

“You okay? What’s so interesting about that wall you’re lookin’ at? You’re kinda just staring off into nothing there.”

Offering a grateful nod to Grim who frowned worriedly, you accept the already opened envelope while tossing aside the letter from Malleus. “I’m good. Just... thinking.”

Lifting a hand, you place your palm against his head and scratch the spot behind his ears. Grim lets out a content purr and holds a bag of junk food, which he probably found among the mountain of gifts, and curls up beside you. You continue the slow and soothing scratches as you use your freehand to unravel the letter Grim brought you from the towering stacks.

This envelope was already cut open. It was a light brown and more square-shaped as thin rope kept it tied together. It had a mash of colorful strings that formed a messy bow to top it off. At least, you assumed it was meant to be a bow, but it looked more like a messy knot that would be impossible to untangle. Good thing it was already partially cut by Grim’s claws earlier.

As mentioned, the ink was red, an interesting choice. While the handwriting was not as elegant as Malleus’ letter. Some words were written neatly, before falling off the line and blending with other words. Making it a bit difficult to read, but you managed.

If you’re reading this,

This means that I am not irredeemable in your eyes.

Had I been beyond redemption, you would have not even opened this letter. If this was a lost cause, a merry dance, this paper would’ve been tossed into the trash without a second thought. But, my words have reached you. You’re reading this right now, aren’t you? It’s why I decided to write this. I could predict the actions you’d take. You are different from your vessel, but it’s only natural that you would act similarly to the silly little doll you controlled, the same doll that sparked this whole fiasco.

I truly am so sorry if I frightened you. While I will admit, it was my intention to strike fear into your heart and use you to serve for another dubious purpose, that was when I hadn’t recognized you. Although, I know this doesn’t mean much to you, I figured I should be entirely honest to you. It’s the least I can do. I’m such a fool for being quick to believe the rumors like some sort of senseless child.

All I can do now, is remain true and offer up my loyalty. It’s nothing compared to the mistakes I made, and I’ve made plenty, but I know an apology will never suffice. So, even if you’re still uncertain about redemption, I’ll remain loyal. Among all the beings and creatures I’ve met in my lifetime, you remain an enigma. You’re human, but at the same time, you’re different. There continues to be so much I do not know of you. I wonder, could you hear me whenever I spoke to your plaything? Do you recall the stories I told, of my time as a reckless youth? Foolhardy, wild, that I was. But I was also fiercely loyal. For the Draconias, I razed down all foes like wheat in a field.

Now that I consider it, perhaps it's best if you hadn’t heard me recount those tales. While I had been eager to share with you my experiences and act out my thrilling adventures, perhaps my story telling was much too graphic. I wouldn’t want the vivid details of bloodshed to be cause for alarm as our most recent encounter was far from pleasant. You have to forgive me, sometimes I get carried away when narrating my accomplishments and exploits. I’ll share more light-hearted memories with you the next time we meet.

Our first meeting with your true self really went abysmally, didn’t it? I know that things never really go as planned, so I don’t bother planning such things in advance. But, I had pictured it to be a lovely moment. Silver and Sebek would look at you with shining eyes and proclaim their loyalty as they had practiced vows over and over again for such an occasion, I would get to embrace your true form and unlock your secrets, and of course Malleus would be truly content for once as he finally received the company he deserved.

But, as expected, things didn’t go accordingly.

Those three youths are miserable, thinking of the proper words to pen, a way to apologize for the suffering they’ve caused. But now, we are the ones suffering because we hurt you.

They write and write, but tear their letters over and over again as they believe no words they’ve written so far are adequate. Soon they’ll realize that no words will ever be sufficient for an apology. Even if they were to create new words that are unheard of by any dictionary, it would not come close to being enough. That’s why I’ve decided to stick with this single attempt, because I already know that nothing I ever write will measure up to being acceptable.

There is something about you that always leaves me bemused. Your grace left me feeling dizzy and giddy, like I was experiencing a little crush again, although this was much more intense than any crush. The truth about your vessel controlled by you, had me perplexed as I had never heard of such a thing. And well, the disastrous chase that followed your arrival... you know that part well and could assume how I feel about that from what I’ve told you. At present, all I can do is remain loyal, for what my loyalty is worth to you. Beyond that, despite having an abundance of experiences, there is no such situation that could have prepared me for this moment.

Genuinely, I am stumped once again. I cannot even envision what can be done with my own two hands, that can be worthy of your attention once again and earn me redemption. But, you can be certain of one thing, and that is: my loyalty is undying. I still have a few years left in these old bones of mine, and I will use the rest of my life to serve you.

Whether you want me or not. If you still want me, I will be of use to you. Whatever you are in need of, a soldier, a plaything, a companion, or even someone to take out your anger on. I shall be it. If you don’t want me, I will still be there. I will always be there to smile and lift your spirits like you once did for me through your doll.

I eagerly wait for word from you.

Until we meet again soon,

Lilia Vanrouge

None of these letters were comforting in the slightest. In fact, they only placed you further on edge. For a moment, you considered stopping it here after only two and getting rid of the rest.

Grim by now had settled in your lap, and looked up at you with those watchful blue eyes. Had he been staring at you the entire time?

“Let me guess, they’re not taking it well?”

“No, not at all.” You answer with a grimace. If this was how they were like now, you didn’t even want to know how they acted when they found out your vessel stopped working over a week ago.

“Huh, sucks for them.” The feline stretched out, his claws poking out for a moment before quickly retracting as he plopped back down on his back with his stomach up. Maybe it was his own attempts to fill the silence, or to let you know you weren’t alone, but he eventually groaned. “Hey, read me one. I wanna know what they say.”

Unable to say no to your companion, you nodded slowly and smiled weakly, “Alright, alright, let’s see what we have here...”

You plucked out a random letter with neat packaging. However, just because the exterior was pretty, didn’t mean the interior message would be. You learned that already from the last two letters you had read.

This envelope looked somewhat similar to the last one, square-shaped and tied closed with string. However, instead of the knot of ribbons on it, it held a simpler gift. The brown rope around it was tied in a neat bow, and between the string were lavender stems with a small branch of wild berries.

Grim immediately indulged in the berries and the flowers, staining his little fangs and whiskers with the sweet sticky juice and purple petals. All the while exclaiming, “Oh, oh! I remember this letter. Some bird came to drop it and it flew away just before I could catch it...”

A short laugh escaped your lips as you hear him. “So that’s why you were grumbling this morning.”

Not wanting to be reminded again, he swat his paw at your nose as the feline hissed, “Shh! Just read already!”

Dear player,

I truly am deeply remorseful and I offer my sincerest apologies.

I was to be a knight, that has been something I have strived for ever since I was a child. A knight not just to serve Malleus but to protect others, and eventually I discovered my purpose was to serve you as well. But... all I did was stand idly by and watch the torment. Shortly after meeting your vessel, I had promised to shield you from all danger. I broke that promise.

I cannot imagine how frightened you must have been. Had just one person stop and thought things through, they may have realized the horrible mistake that was being made. Had I acted as soon as I felt the tug on my heart when I saw you weakened and on the dirt, I may have saved you from anymore pain.

Those eyes, your eyes, I see them in my sleep. You were scared, and through your gaze you were pleading for help, were you not? I see it every time I close my eyes. You witnessed it yourself, the very moment when I had failed you. You were right there, so close I could have extended a helping hand. But my grief rendered me sightless, all I could think of in that moment is how my heart ached and how I longed to see you again. Even if it was through your vessel. The rumors didn’t quite make any sense to me, as I wondered how could anyone possibly be so cruel as to tear you away from us?

Father had said that it would all be over soon. That capturing the imposter and bringing them to their knees, would make everything better. But when I saw you on the ground before we learned of your identity, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was alright. Would the player have wanted this? Would they have scorned upon witnessing the scene? Would this undoubtedly end the throbbing pain I felt in my heart? The pain was becoming unbearable, and I was not the only one to feel it. The news made little sense to me. Sebek insisted that it was true, and Father seemed to believe so as well. However, that is no excuse for how I went along as if it were okay.

You were innocent and helpless, you, the player, not only witnessed the scene but were the victim. I’m so sorry, I should have done something... If it were the only way to gain your forgiveness, I would spend every moment of my waking hours writing letters of apology. To do so I would keep myself awake for as long as humanely possible. If asked, I would use every moment to pen these letters, each different from the last. Although after several attempts in redoing this single letter, I realize that it would be a pointless endeavor.

After reflecting, the only way to make up for what I have do is be patient.

Be patient and await for word from you. I cannot force you, I cannot pressure you, I can only pause and prepare myself to do whatever I must in order to earn back your grace.

Please, do not keep me waiting too long. I know I have no right to ask you this. I’m willing to wait years if needed, but part of me has this fear that I will never regain a spot near your heart until I’m frail and feeble with age. Rest assured, even in old age, I would be willing to be your knight. Even if my bones ached, I would raise my sword and shield. If I couldn’t use my weakened legs, I would call upon a horse to be my steed. And if I were to become magicless, I would use the remainder of my physical strength to serve you.

If I may be honest with you? I have no idea what to do. Yes, I said I would wait, but what else can I do? What can I do to eventually secure a place beside you, if it were possible? In times of trouble I normally turn to Lilia and Malleus for advice, however, I am a bit unsettled by their approach to this delicate matter. Truthfully, I am anxious, but while they share the sentiment, they are oddly confident that things will turn out alright in the end. I am unsure how they can muster the self-assurance to quell their fears. Maybe they know something that I do not, and have decided not to share this secret for now...

Nevertheless, for now I’ll eagerly anticipate the day we can reunite just as I have dreamed. I greatly look forward to the second where not only I can see you smile once again and your eyes might finally look at me with content, but also the moment where all those I know might get the opportunity to be in your peaceful grace.

I’ve dragged this letter on for too long. If you were to take something away from this letter, let it be this: I will carry out your wishes. No matter what you may think of me, whether it be a positive or negative image in your mind, I will continue forward in your name. Even if you think me unfit for the title of knight, then consider me a humble servant instead. Nothing will shake my commitment, and I will do whatever it is you ask.

This is a pledge that will not be broken.

Cordially,

Silver

This letter felt a bit lighter than the others. Still, it was slightly intense in its own way, but it was nowhere near as extreme as the previous two were. And, maybe you had a better opinion on Silver, not because he was gentle with his words but because he was one of the very few who hadn’t threatened you, directly harmed you, or treated you cruelly.

But! He didn’t get a free pass just because of that. Yes, he may not have directly caused any harm, but he didn’t exactly help you either.

Grim had taken the letter from you, and inspected the paper in his paws. He held it above his head, scrunching up his nose a bit as he looked it over. “I dunno... he’s okay.”

At that, you roll your eyes a bit as a smirk crept up from the corner of your mouth. “You’re not just saying that because his letter came with a snack?”

“No! You think me easy to bribe? I think not! It would take a whole bucket full of berries just to get me to even discuss it. Then, I’d turn them down and take the berries anyways!” The feline proclaimed his brilliant plan should that situation ever arise. Maybe the gifts you allowed him to take were starting to get to his head. “But... he could be worse. Silver, as dumb as he was like everyone else, he did hear me out after they separated us.”

Silver did that? If that were true, it’s possible that he wasn’t as bad as the others who had wronged you.

“That’s... good to know.” You murmur as you pluck up another random envelope from the pile.

The last envelope you pick up before you planned to take a break was surprisingly plain. It was just that. A plain white envelope, sealed by green wax with what looked like a family crest that depicted a creature with fangs and scales. One of the corners was crinkled, as if it was gripped too tightly there.

As soon as you slid out the folded letter, you were bombarded by the ink. Whoever had wrote this, seemed like they applied too much force. This caused certain parts of some letters to be too round and heavy with ink that made those bits feel damp and stain your fingers the slightest bit. Like whoever wrote this, placed just as much pressure with their hands on the pen gliding across the page, as much pressure as they felt weighing on their mind.

Great Player,

As I pen this, I am on my hands and knees.

I have prepared a multitude of letters which I will send daily, so that now and in the future you will continue to hear my apology and know I truly mean it. One admission of regret is not enough. An apology is only an acknowledgment of an offense, it does not absolve one of their wrongdoings. I know this! So, I, Sebek Zigvolt, will atone by any means necessary!

To you, the player who I wronged and deserves nothing but happiness and perfection, I give my deepest sincerest profuse apology. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m SORRY. Right now when I look at my hands that I use to write, I’m reminded of the vicious way I grabbed you like some... heathen! These hands sullied your flawless self, and for that alone I will never forgive myself!

Had it not been for the wise words of Master Lilia and the bothersome yet logical reasoning from Silver, I would have been at your door everyday, every hour, begging for a second chance. In the midst of brainstorming, I presented my idea of crawling on hands and knees, from Diasomnia to the Ramshackle Dorm, to deliver the letter myself. Then, I would display whatever cuts or bruises formed on my palms and knees which I would receive from the rocky roads or thorns, that way you may see my devotion was true and no lengths are too great when it comes to you! No matter the pain or burden! The idea seems to appeal to Lord Malleus, but I was told that it comes off as too extreme...

But! I beg to differ!! I only consider it so that you may understand what I feel, so that you might comprehend the things I would do for you, and receive me back in your good graces! Additionally, delivering the letter in this manner would cause me as much or more physical pain than I caused you! It is a shame that things have come to this. I had wished so much for our first proper meeting to be one of joy where you might accept me as your knight! In spite of that, I will not falter in shame! If I were to deliver the following letters in that method I had detailed earlier, I would wear the scars proudly! It would be physical proof of my faithfulness towards you!

I am sorry, and I will continue to say it. Perhaps, this may be presumptuous of me, but if you consider it, Diasomnia did not torment you nearly as long as any other insolent dorm had! And! We retainers accompanied Lord Malleus every day to check on the wellbeing of your vessel, and watch over it while investigating various possible approaches on how to revive Yuu. We diligently did this until the moment we encountered your true self!

I swear to you, no one shall harm you from this moment forth!

From now on, I’ll march forward and see to it that you are never hurt ever again! This is something I know that my fellow dormmates will tirelessly work toward as well.

Have you realized that we have been guarding you and the serenity of your dorm in the past days? Have you not thought it strange that none have come to needlessly pester you? Yes, that is all thanks to the efforts of those in Diasomnia! Even when you do not realize it, we are insuring your welfare and the tranquility you require to recover! Of course, as much as I desperately want to inform you of the details, I will not. It is best you don’t know.

Now, I must be honest with you. Originally, I had planned this letter to be much longer and have contents that would have been much different than what you are currently reading. I aimed to be honest in my feelings! But before I could sign off on the original draft, I realized that the others may be in the right. It is possible that our devotion, my devotion, may come off as disquieting if I were completely sincere. I’ve had to restrain myself on many occasions, reminding myself to at least appear collected and controlled. That is not as easy as it sounds!

How could it be, when the one I must suppress my emotions and actions for, is you? That’s as if asking to repress part of my very soul and heart! I absolutely detest hiding it!! But when I remember this is for you and your own comfort, it becomes bearable. I can only hope that soon, very soon, I might be able to unveil my true sentiments towards you! As intense and extreme as they may be!

It seems that I’m nearing the word limit that they imposed. Once again, I apologize. I’ll have to contemplate new ways to write ‘sorry.’ I wish I could write a million more words for you! But even a million words wouldn’t be anywhere near a satisfactory amount for me to detail how much I revere you! And it would take more than another million words for me to write a full apology, but even then I wouldn’t be satisfied! No single letter is adequate enough, so be prepared to receive the rest I have written!

I will make sure they are delivered posthaste!

Faithfully,

Sebek Zigvolt

Great... you’re back to being unnerved again.

There was something about them all being so weirdly obsessed, but in vary different ways. Malleus and Lilia puzzled you, they had you feeling the most uneasy by far. Maybe it had to do with the fact that they were both not human, they were arcane beings with enigmatic personalities and objectives that were incomprehensible to you.

Out of the four, Silver was the only one that was fully human like yourself, but even he was a bit of a mystery as he was raised by the fae. It was hard to be wary of him, which was probably because your distrust and fear of him wasn’t as intense as it was towards the others due to his good nature and lack of actions he took during the whole disaster.

As for Sebek, well, he was unnerving in his own right but it was nowhere near on the level that Malleus and Lilia were on. At the very least he wasn’t a complete mystery to you. It was easy to figure out his intentions, because he either said them or wore them on his sleeve.

Your mind was spinning as you looked over the four letters, filled with lines upon lines and more lines of pages. In that moment your breath quickened as you noticed the cloudy sky outside. For a brief second, you feared you would see that familiar flash of green lightning, taking you back to that dark day when you nearly died. It’s like you could feel Sebek’s hands tightly gripping the back of your skull that forced you against the earth, you saw Silver’s sorrowful gaze that spoke a thousand words you didn’t yet understand, you heard Lilia’s words hinting to a doomed fate of becoming some lifeless doll, and god, you couldn’t forget him even if you wanted to. Malleus. He was the worst of all. You felt his nails and fingers constricting around your neck and squeezing out all the air, you saw his haunting green eyes with those slit pupils as he glowered at you with such anger and hate, and you heard what you had thought would be the last words you ever heard come from his lips––

“Hey!”

You were torn out of those dark thoughts by the feline in your lap. A concerned frown tugged at Grim’s lips, but once he saw he had your attention, he mustered a slight grin as he held up what looked like an armful of snacks. At least, as much as he could carry in his small paws. From his grin, you could see his little fangs still covered in the remnants of the berries and flower petals.

“Look, I found your favorite! This is getting boring, so let’s just take a break!”

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jaal-ama-daravv · 8 days ago

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dissecting the Emmrich graveyard scene below for how down bad they are for eachother

dissecting the alternate romance path dissecting the argument scene (lich path) dissecting the emmrich romance scene (lich path) emmrich x rook cinematic

find my original post here

we begin -

"I would hate to lose you whilst I am still mortal"

this line is directly after Rook questioning all the flirting and what that means for them should he become a lich. which Emmrich responds witht he above. this is a tough one for me to break down as either way Emmrich retains his soul, emotions, and thoughts if he becomes a lich. I believe this line is tied to the fact of being afraid Rook will not want him anymore once he explains his desire to be a lich, as alluded to throughout the rest of the scene.

this one is kind of self explanatory. Emmrich states that nothing will change if he becomes a lich, apart form the no death thing, but would still consider Rook in the decision.

then we are met with a sigh - this is a sigh of desperation. 'how do i choose my words so carefully that Rook see's my desire and doesn't shun me for it' - hence Emmrich goes on to explain what being a lich would mean in hopes rook will still desire him. (this becomes a big factor throughout the rest of the lich romance - desire)

'considerations'

as above, and again now with considering rook. now the first conversation cuts out after this. it is my belief that these considerations are considering Rook and their perspective, whilst also including the fact that it is later revealed that Emmrich might die during the rite, therefore losing Rook whilst still mortal. I believe this line is both a statement of care for Rook, and his fear od death.

throughout the quest, Rook asks Emmrich a bunch of questions, more so just filler content so Rook can understand lichdom and the process.

then Emmrich shows you something that is probably the closest thing to his heart before Rook. his parents graves. keep in mind that Emmrich had these made, and he engraved 'they walk eternity hand in hand'. Then the next shot is Rook and Emmrich walking side by side to the shrine.

walking eternity hand in hand is also mentioned in the lich romance scene,"find you in another world" aka the fade. this man has believed in soulmates for decades.

subtle conversation tactic of, 'what would you want me to be, rook'. here you either say happy with someone who cares about him, or break up with him (i do nOT reccommend).

simple to the point, emmrich is looking for subtle validation here for rooks feelings

and the fact that there is only one correct option is wild too.

If you choose, "Whatever you want", you reply by saying Happy. which very close to the romance committment line of "Happy with someone who cares for you."

Emmrich is looking for that connection so so badly, hence why only one option

Emmrich's gaze towards Rook as he asks them what shes wants, and baring his soul to her.

after committing - Emmrich does not look away from rook once.

rook is fucked. rook is head over heels in love and smitten with this man. keep in mind that throughout the rest of the game, there are conversations with companions where Emmrich will straight up shut them down when pressed about them 'moving too fast' or 'do you know what you are doing'. Emmrich is very clearly defensive about these things, which is so hot.

in my playthrough, they are necromancers, well aware of how short life is, especially facing the apocolypse. ofc they are going all in.

this man is gonna go home and jump up and down on his bed

do i need to explain this? the shrine of passion and devotion, the ETERNAL SHRINE.

anyway im really, really down bad for this dynamic and them. im also in love with my rook so that doesnt help.

ill most likely do a break down of each scene

#dragon age #dragon age veilguard #datv #datv spoilers #emmrich #emmrich romance #dragon age emmrich #emmrich volkarin #dav #da4 #da4 emmrich #maeve ingellvar #rook ingellvar #emmrook #rook x emmrich #emmrich dragon age #emmrich x rook

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nalgenewhore · 7 months ago

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give her his onliness

elide x lorcan, canon-divergence/circus era, NSFW + feelings, shifting allegiances, word count: 5347

It’s hot, and the smoke in the air mixes with the humidity to form this oppressive fog.

Lorcan feels like he hasn’t had a full lungful of air in days. The weather tightens the lead on his temper, and he’s forced to bite back a snappish remark every other minute.

He’s laying on the riverbank now, his shirt, boots, and socks discarded beside him. Once the sun goes down, he’ll be forced to put on that sticky, dust-collecting oil and go back on that pathetic stage to entertain the peasant masses. He is not a gifted nor humble performer, but that doesn’t deter the bold and foolish few who proposition him after.

As if he could want any of them.

He knows now what it means to really desire someone, and not only as a means for his pleasurable ends. Since that night in the oracle’s tent, he thinks of one thing only, dreams of one thing only.

There's rustling in the trees across the river. He slits open his eyes, making no other movement, to find the subject of his desire.

Elide puts her hands on her hips. His lips twitch - she’s so wondrously stubborn, a trait he would loathe in anyone else. She actually bared her blunt teeth at him once, the brave little thing.

“I know you’re awake,” she accuses him. “We have work to do, you know.”

Lorcan shuts his eyes again. “I am not eager to return,” he says. “If you are, feel free to go.”

The next thing he hears is a soft splashing, and then she’s standing over him. Elide drops her skirts. “What are you doing?”

“I believe it’s called relaxing.”

She nudges him with her foot, and faster than she can react, he captures her ankle. She gasps, hopping slightly to retain her balance. Lorcan lets go when she stumbles so he can catch her falling. Elide glares at him. “You did that on purpose, you brute.” Her small palms are pressed into the muscles of his chest.

“Sit,” he says. “Relax.” He sets her down on the rocks beside him. “We have time.”

Elide huffs a humourless chuckle at that. They don’t, really. They can pretend they do, they can carve it out of stone. He sees the tension around her eyes melt; she relents in silent agreement.

She exhales a sigh that’s too weathered. Lorcan reclines once more and reaches out to press his hand against her back. It may seem casual to an outside view, but the touches between them are never casual. She relaxes when he strokes her spine with his thumb. “It’s too hot,” she complains.

“Take off your clothes.”

“Lorcan!” she snaps, twisting to glare at him. The heat makes her irritable.

He lifts his hands. “I won’t be anything less than a gentleman.”

“You don’t know the meaning of the word.”

He chuckles, “I am not propositioning you. It’s hot, and the river is cool. Bathe in it.” Her eyes are still narrowed. “I won’t look.”

For some reason, that doesn’t eliminate the irritation lining her face; it switches to something else, equally bothered. Lorcan shuts his eyes, too tired to decipher whatever that means. He listens to her stand, and then articles of clothing drop onto the stones, something landing on his chest.

He keeps his eyes shut as she walks away, her steps uneven. Lorcan sends out a little strand of his magic to brace her ankle. Elide hums a bit, and the water splashes as she runs forward with a laugh he seldom hears.

It makes a crooked smile appear on his face. Her joy, to him, is something precious, which he doesn’t fully understand. For the first time in a while, not knowing something doesn’t bother him; he lets it be as it is.

“Lorcan,” she calls him.

“Hmm?”

She clicks her tongue, “Lorcan.”

She wants something, his attention maybe, and he knows it. He smirks to himself. “Yes?”

Next, she does something he doesn’t expect and splashes him. Lorcan sits up with a raised brow. Elide looks back at him with a coy smile, delight shining in her eyes. She moves her hands to splash him again, and he warns her, “Don’t you dare.”

Elide cocks her head to the side. “No?” She pushes the water harder, some of it hitting his torso.

Lorcan stands up, fully ready to charge her and make her regret it, but something tears her gaze from his. She backs away, but not from him, with wide eyes. “Lorcan,” she whispers. He turns and sees that snivelling man, Nik, skulking in the brush.

Anger rolls through him, and no small amount of fear - how did not sense another’s presence? Lorcan moves in front of the mortal man, his lips curling back from his teeth. “What do you think you’re doing?” He looms over Nik, ready to wrench the man off his feet, but Elide as his ever-present observer curbs his murderous urge. “Spying on another man’s wife while she bathes?”

“I- I--”

He reaches down anyway and pulls him to his feet so he can shove him backwards. “Leave, or I will rip your eyes from your skull,” Lorcan seethes. He lowers his voice so Elide can’t hear. “Do not push me, boy. If you think you’ve learned what pain is, I guarantee I can prove you wrong.”

Nik scrambles away, and the scent of his fear makes Lorcan’s nose wrinkle. He watches the man until he’s gone, then faces Elide.

She’s coming out of the river now, stumbling because her arms are wrapped around herself. Lorcan goes to help her. “Elide.”

She shakes her head and lets him pull her close till their bodies press together. Elide won’t look up at him.

“You’re alright,” he tells her.

She doesn’t respond.

Lorcan loosely holds the side of her neck, his thumb brushing her jaw. “Look at me,” he says softly. With a roll of her eyes, she does what he says. He strokes her jaw again. “You’re alright. I’ll always make sure of that.”

Slowly, she nods, her hand lifting to hold his wrist. “I know.” It seems like she means her words.

Whatever peace they found in this oasis has been ruined, and they won’t stay here anymore. He hands her his shirt to dry herself with, but Elide ends up donning it. Lorcan doesn’t let his surprise show as she folds back the sleeves.

He collects the water pails and doesn’t let her carry anything. They’re silent as they return back to camp. Nik avoids them, the only smart thing he’s done today.

Lorcan has no time to talk with her more because Ombriel steals her away to dress her in that ridiculous costume and Molly snaps commands at him.

✵✵✵✵✵

Outside, Molly rings the big bell to signal the end of the night’s show.

Elide wears a brittle smile as she ushers her last customers out of the tent. The minute the fabric doors fall back into place, she rips the gods-forsaken headdress off. She hobbles towards the back where she stashed a jug of water and some cloths. The thick make-up she wears feels like a mask.

She wets a rag and drags it over her cheek, scrubbing at the white paste. She has no idea how something can be both oily and tacky at the same time.

She’s so wrapped up in her need to feel clean that she doesn’t notice the figure approaching from behind.

A hand lands on her shoulder, and she nearly jumps out of her skin.

Elide whirls around with a soft shout, her hand dropping to the knife stashed in her waistband.

“Woah,” Lorcan says, realising his mistake. He backs away with his hands raised. “It’s me, just me.”

Her eyes fall shut. She sighs and reaches out to push his stomach. “Don’t do that.” Elide steps closer to him, needing a refuge. When Lorcan backs away, shirking her presence, she gives him a hurt look.

He shakes his head, explaining, “I’m covered in oil and sweat.” He rolls his shoulders. “I need to clean myself.”

“Here,” she passes him a few cloths and a jug of water.

They work side by side in tandem, cleaning themselves as best they can. Elide wipes at her face until no more white paste comes off. There’s probably more, but she’s too tired to care. She sits down at the table and stares into nothing while Lorcan finishes up.

He joins her a little while later, his long legs stretched out. He’s looking at her, but his gaze is just a little bit off-centred.

“What?”

“You have some more,” he says. Lorcan reaches under her chair to tug it closer; Elide gasps through her nose at the display of strength. “Let me get it.”

She indeed lets him. He’s gentle with the rag, softly wiping the spot behind her jaw and her ears.

He watches her face, depthless eyes tracking every emotion even in their absence. “What’re you thinking about?”

She rouses slightly. Her gaze meets his, hopeless and flat. “I can’t stay here,” she tells him in a hushed tone. “I have to leave.” Elide rubs her sternum with the flat of her palm. “I feel it - in here. I’m not safe.”

“Because of him?”

“It’s not just- today.”

“Where will you go?”

Elide swallows. “Anywhere. I’ll make it work, I’ll find another way.” She lowers her voice even more but knows that he’ll hear it just fine. “They look at us like we’re commodities, Lorcan. They’ll sell us out to the highest bidder.”

“So you’re going?”

“As soon as I can,” she vows.

Lorcan looks at her with heavy eyes, saying something she can’t quite decipher. He puts the cloth down. “It’s late. Bed?”

Her lips quirk with an appreciative smile.

They stand up to leave together, and Elide slips her hand in his elbow. As they walk out, she realises belatedly that her companion is still shirtless. It wrinkles her brow. She asks, “Where is your shirt?”

“Sold it. Got a silver piece this time.”

“Look at you,” she teases, her worry lifted for a moment. “What ever will they do without you?”

Lorcan glowers at the straggling circus-goers that stare at him. They’re shameless, barely even noticing the male’s supposed wife hanging off his arm. His nostrils flare when he sees a familiar piece of black linen clutched against some blushing farm girl’s chest. “Do they have any shame?”

“No, none,” Elide shakes her head.

He mutters something about manners, and she stifles her laughter against his arm. Who would’ve thought that Lorcan Salvaterre could say anything about other people’s propriety? He shrugs off her touch so he can wrap his arm around her. She allows a smirk to show.

They stroll past the caravan and go further, their tent near the forest line.

Just as they’re almost out of ear shot, someone stops them. “Where’s your earnings? We settle every night.”

Lorcan looks over his shoulder with flat eyes. “You’ve had my wife working since sunup, and now we will rest. You’ll get your cut in the morning.” He’s almost daring Molly to say something.

Elide tugs on his belt.

He shifts his eyes to her, and she softly shakes her head, telling him to let it go. He lets out a long suffering sigh. She pulls him along with her, too tired for any more conflict.

Once they’re in the tent, Lorcan puts up a shield of his magic so that it will block any sound or signs of movement from outside even when the candles are lit.

He takes off his boots and pants before reclining on the thick bedroll. Lorcan stretches his arm over his eyes, listening to Elide undress.

She lets out a long breath as she kneels. She swaps her heavy skirts for his buttoned shirt, bare beneath it. Next Elide begins the painstaking process of taking down her hair. The one kind thing Ombriel has done for her is give her a little bag of pins. She pats her coiled braids to find each little metal twine and pulls them out.

Once she’s sure they’re all out, she tries to uncoil her braid, but it holds fast. Elide tips her head back in exhausted frustration, groaning.

She senses more than hears her companion sit up. He passes his hand up her back till it braces the back of her head. Elide mumbles as she turns into him, “Do it for me.”

Lorcan doesn’t say a word as he looks over her scalp, picking out every pin she missed. Which, as it turns out, is quite a few. She thinks he’s going to stop now, but he also undos her braid. Elide leans her cheek against his chest. They sit in a comfortable silence, and he starts to stroke her hair. It’s slightly awkward at first, like he’s petting something, but it becomes more natural soon enough.

He asks when she hasn’t moved for a while, “‘lide? Are you asleep?”

She hums, “Not yet.” She lifts her head up. “Are you tired, Lorcan?” He raises a brow. “Because I am. I feel like I’ve been tired all my life.”

It’s wrong, he thinks, for someone her age to be wearied. He should not feel that her soul mirrors his. “Lie down,” he says. “I’ll let you sleep.”

They both know that’s not the kind of exhaustion she speaks of. His side prickles, cold now that she’s moving away. He returns to his spot and watches her when she reclines, about a foot of space between them. She curls on her side, facing him. Lorcan reaches out, “C’mere.”

Elide’s eyes open quickly. She looks surprised as she eyes his outstretched arm, the space he’s providing for her on his bedroll. She goes to the protection he’s offering.

Despite the difference in their size, they fit together so well. The dip between his shoulder and torso provides the perfect crook for her cheek. She hesitates slightly, not sure where to put her arms. Lorcan drags his fingers up her forearm till their hands meet.

They remain silent now. Elide looks up at his face. The flickering candlelight casts shadows across his harshly hewn features. His cheekbones jut out, just as proud as the aquiline ridge of his nose. She swallows when she stares at his lips, full and round.

She wants to feel them against hers once more.

Elide moves a hand up to his jaw and turns his face towards hers. His eyes open, just a bit, a question in them. Before he can ask it, she kisses him. It’s a little off - she’s still new at this, unfamiliar with the mechanics of it all.

Lorcan responds slowly, guiding the embrace into something smoother, less choppy. Elide feels herself sinking into it. She cups his face as he pulls her closer. He shifts onto his side so there’s more room for her to be pressed against him.

The hand that held hers moulds to her waist.

Her breath comes faster when he forces them to part. He stays close, though, and they share the same air. “What do you want?”

“You.”

He rubs her side. “Like how you wanted me the other night?”

She nods, drawing her bottom lip between her teeth.

“D’you want to fuck, Elide?”

She recoils at the term, denying its aggression. “No,” she says. Her eyes search his. “I want to be with you,” she presses her palm over his heart, feeling its thunderous beat. “I want you .”

His face softens. Lorcan brings her back to him for a gentle kiss. She doesn’t know why he does that. It’s like he’s trying to force her back by being too harsh.

Elide lets those thoughts float away. She parts her mouth when his tongue slides over her lips.

His tongue against hers makes that tight, expectant feeling return to her belly and lower. He slopes a hand down her spine to her backside. She inhales through her nose, exhaling with a soft moan.

When Lorcan pulls his mouth from hers, she lets out a disappointed sound that he quickly soothes, kissing her jaw instead. She tips her head up for further access, her hand curling around the back of his neck. “Yes,” she sighs, biting her lip as he sucks at her skin.

He teases her with the edge of his teeth and finds that one sensitive spot. She shudders slightly.

Lorcan hums against her throat.

That spark blooms in her centre, making her twist her hips for relief. His hand moves to her thigh so he can bring her leg over his hips. Elide swallows, her breath faster. Slowly, she rocks her hips against him. She could cry at the reprieve it gives her.

“That’s it,” he murmurs. “Take what you want.”

It’s not enough.

She realises she spoke aloud when he lifts his head, now helping her movements. “Is that what you need?”

Elide shakes her head, chasing his lips. “More,” she mumbles against them. The feeling of his shirt against her skin is too warm now, she wants to feel his flesh instead. She scrapes her fingers down his chest, following the dark hair that trails beneath his waistband.

Lorcan catches her hand. In a quick motion, he’s got her flat on her back, wrist pressed against the padded ground. “I can give you more,” he swears. “I can give you everything.”

She nods, wanting that. She thinks he’s going to kiss her again, but he props himself up on an elbow. Elide waits in anticipation.

He fingers one of the buttons on his shirt, asking her permission. Elide nods again, battling against the urge to rut her hips against his thigh.

As the shirt falls from her body, the cool air makes her shiver. His gaze falls to her chest, as he’s wont to do. She smiles to herself, slightly smug. Unlike the other times that people gawk at her body, she likes seeing the desire force the black of his pupils to overtake his iris.

Lorcan drags the backs of his fingers up her stomach till he can grasp her breast. She curves her spine into his touch, a gasp falling from her lips when his thumb circles the peak. He lowers his mouth to the other one, lapping at it before pressing it against his teeth.

Elide moans loudly before slapping her hand over her mouth.

He looks up, then softly draws her hand away. “They can’t hear,” he promises. “The shield blocks it.” A strand of his magic snakes up her leg from her ankle. It feels cool against her hot skin. The inherent danger behind it makes her grow wet like last time.

She squirms a bit. He kisses the heavy underside of her breast and then tracks his lips lower, to the cradle of her hips. Elide pushes herself up onto her elbows, “Whatareyoudoing?”

His thumb strokes the inside of her thigh, soothing. “Do you trust me, Elide?”

She nods choppily because she does, but she has no idea what he’s trying to do now, nor why he’s so far down. Lorcan presses his lips to the hollow of her hip, making her head tip back. “Oh.”

“Last time,” he murmurs, brushing kisses across her pelvis to the other hip. “I used my hand, remember?” She huffs a laugh - how could she not? He grins against her skin, then nips at the delicate flesh stretched over her hipbone. “I want to use my mouth this time.”

“People do that?” she asks, purely curious. “You would put-” she gestures, “down there? How?”

“With my tongue,” he says, then drags it over the junction between her leg and centre. “Or my teeth,” he bites her and sucks to create a little mark. “And my lips.” He kisses her then, hands sloping to the undersides of her thighs.

“But… why?” Elide feels her cheeks growing red. She’s had it in her head her whole life that her own body is something to shy away from, an unfortunate embarrassment to deal with.

“I like making you feel good. And it will, I promise.”

Elide nods as she breathes hard. “Yes.” She crashes onto her back, her arms giving up. He guides her legs over his shoulders, and when she doesn’t know where to put her hands, he guides them to his hair.

She grips the silken strands with a hum.

Her eyes fly open when his thumb splits down her slit, his tongue lapping at that spot. She moans a bit, eager to watch him.

She tries to pay attention as he uses his mouth on her, but with every moment, that arousal within her heightens till he’s stroking her towards that end - the climax.

His tongue dips inside her, curling against the front for a second. Then, he’s pressing sloppy kisses against her cunt. Lorcan’s hum vibrates through her. Elide gasps, not quite sure she’s breathing properly.

Apparently she’s moving too much since he bars a corded forearm across her lower stomach. She tries to push her hips against it, but he holds her fast.

Lorcan sucks on that little bundle of nerves, flicks the tip of his tongue against it.

She starts babbling, saying all sorts of stuff but what comes out are repetitions of his name and ragged breaths.

Her release catches her by surprise, so much quicker than before. She feels her body tightening again and she stops breathing for a second. Elide pushes up on his arm without realising how tight her legs are around his head. Her fingers find purchase in his hair to pull ; she needs something to keep her on this earth.

“Oh, my gods,” she cries out. “Lorcan, Lor…”

He rises above her, and her legs fall to his hips, calves lying across his backside. Lorcan joins slowly, busy with tracking kisses up her torso. She slips her hands to the sides of his neck when he presses his lips to hers.

Elide blushes, realising she can taste herself. She notices a second or two later that she doesn’t mind it, actually.

She opens her legs to let his body fit between them. One of his arms slips under her body and he winds his fingers in her hair. Their bodies grind together. She can feel that hardness beneath his undershorts. It makes her bite his bottom lip.

Lorcan chuckles, “Vicious.”

She grins against his mouth. Feeling bold, she trails her hand down his stomach. She relishes the way his body shudders, his head bending to watch her hand. Elide scrapes her teeth against his jaw and pushes her hand lower.

He groans, pressing into the contact. “Lochan,” he bites out, his voice rough. “I, fuck…”

Elide nods even though he hasn’t asked her anything. “Please,” she says.

They part so they can both rid themselves of all clothes.

When they come back together, he kisses her deeply. Elide holds his shoulders, relishing in the way his weight bears on her.

Lorcan fists himself to slowly drag his cock up and down her sex. Small noises fall from her lips, muffled by his, as he teases her. She moves her pelvis in time with him. “Please,” she repeats. “I want it.”

He hums, notching the head of his length inside her. Elide swallows. “You want it?”

She nods and is rewarded by another inch. “You want me?” he asks.

“Yes.” The word escapes her throat, desperate.

He continues like that, teasing her with a slow entrance while he asks her questions, only moving when she answers.

Elide feels like her lungs are in her chest when she’s taken all of him. She can feel him in her, and the walls of her sex flutter errantly. She puffs out some air, her eyes unable to focus on anything.

“Breathe,” he tells her, stroking her side. “Elide, breathe.” He inhales and exhales dramatically until she starts to copy him, her gaze locking on him. “Look at me, just me.”

She exhales shakily as he pulls out to thrust back in. Elide swears she’s trying to focus on him, but with every roll of his hips, her eyelids flutter. She wants to lose herself to this feeling. Whatever moment of peace they can steal away, she wants to stay in it.

“Lor,” she moans out.

He slips his arm under her knee and pushes it closer to her chest. He hits deeper now, each stroke rubbing against that spot inside of her. “Elide,” he pants, “Elide, Elide, Elide, darling.”

His breath is ragged and his head bows to press their brows together. Elide arches her back with a moan when he thrusts into her, her hands squeezing his shoulders.

“‘lide, I promised to keep you safe,” whispers Lorcan, panting. “Elide, don’t go, don’t fucking leave me.” His voice is that of a broken person. It sounds like he’s on his knees before her. The most feared male throughout the kingdom begging her to stay. “I—“ he cuts himself off with a pleasured groan, his hand sliding down from her waist to grab her thigh, “I want—“

She presses her lips to his, hoping her answer was clear through her kiss. It’s hungry and deep like she’s trying to meld them into one being. Lorcan responds similarly, stilling inside of her with his hips pressed tightly against hers. A lump of emotions form in her throat and her eyes sting with tears. No one has ever wanted her to stay, no one has ever pleaded for her the way he does. Nobody, nobody, nobody, in her whole life.

Tears leak past her lashes, trickling down her temples. He must realise because he draws back with a sharp inhale. Elide makes a sound of protest, wanting to tell him to ignore it, it’s not the time—

“Darling…” he murmurs. He hangs his head in defeat. “Don’t tell me. If you’re going, don’t tell me.”

She blinks up at him, her hands cupping the sides of his face. “Look at me,” Elide says softly.

Lorcan shakes his head, mumbling something indistinctive. He tries to shift, to pull out of her, but Elide tightens her thighs around his hips.

“Look at me,” she repeats.

He slowly drags his gaze up to hers.

“You are stupid,” Elide says. His brows draw together and she runs her finger over the crease that forms. “You are the stupidest male that has ever existed if you think that I-“ her voice catches and she sniffles, “would leave you .” He raises his head, stricken with wordless surprise. She rolls her eyes, clicking her tongue. “Och, you’re making me cry.”

A small smile glimmers on his lips, and Lorcan dips his face to kiss her soft skin. “Forgive me, darling.” She hums neutrally and he slowly rolls his hips, pulling out and filling her again.

Elide gasps wetly, still tearful. Her hands immediately grab his shoulders once more as she squeezes her thighs around his hips. She lets out a low moan, her head falling back, “Oh…”

Her arms wrap around his neck to pull him closer. In this new position, she’s barely giving him any room to move, but he makes do. Elide thinks that the last time they did this, her first time ever, it was pleasurable and he satisfied her, but now, this is something else entirely.

She sighs into his ear, then bites the lobe. Lorcan’s teeth press into her neck, long canines almost breaking the skin. It makes her tip her head back again; she wants him to do it. Instead, he simply kisses her pulse and whispers, “Not yet.”

A moan breaks from her throat, maybe it’s the implicit promise or his touch, but whatever it is, Elide wants more. She tries to squeeze her legs tighter, wanting him closer, wanting him deeper. “Lorcan,” she pants. She makes a frustrated sound.

“Mm, what? What d’you need?”

“More.” She swallows. “You, I need you.”

Lorcan swears to her, “You have me.” He’ll give her anything she asks for, go to any length to preserve her contentment. He’ll bleed out to see her happy smile, one she wears in utter serenity. Just to stop himself from telling her, he kisses her.

Elide arches into him as she inhales sharply. She slides the pink tip of her tongue across his lips, which part on an exhale. Their embrace grows deeper and brings them even closer.

His weight bears on her when he grinds his hips against her pelvis. Elide shudders a bit, feeling it float out there - it’s so close. She whimpers softly and pulls away to stare up at him. His laboured breaths fan over her cheek.

An attempt is made to tell him, needing someone to ground her. Her mouth won’t form the words, though, and it gets harder to think, her mind fuzzy.

Lorcan nods. He understands her. “I know,” he murmurs. “Just feel it, it’s alright, darling.” He fucks into her a little harder, losing his control, and she moans, a wild and loud sound. “Let it come, ‘lide.”

She shuts her eyes when her body starts to tighten. Air doesn’t leave her chest as easily, and she thinks she’s about to faint. “Please,” she sighs. “I,” she swallows, “I want it…”

Elide cries out his name as she finishes. He bites her at the peak and lets his canines break skin. She holds the back of his neck so tight her nails make crescents. Through it, his hips don’t still, which both prolongs her pleasure and overwhelms her scrambled mind.

She gasps when he reaches his own end, pulling out quickly. Lorcan cums with his face in her shoulder, his fingers digging into her hard. Elide blushes when she feels his spend smearing across her stomach.

The tent fills with the sounds of their uneven breathing. They lie together as sweat and his release cools rapidly.

Goosebumps appear on the sides of her thighs. She grunts softly, nudging Lorcan. His hand rubs the outside of her leg. “What is it?”

“I’m cold.”

He presses his lips to the purpling skin where he dug his teeth in. He whispers an apology that she shakes her head and pulls his face up to kiss. “Don’t, I wanted it.”

He groans with some frustration. They exchange soft pecks until she knows they must part. Elide hated this part last time. She felt alone the second his back turned, even though he was only fetching her a shirt and a cloth to clean her with.

This time, she still feels off but doesn’t fear being abandoned. Her body sinks into the thick bedroll, and she hugs her arms over her chest to stave off the chill. She lets her eyes fall shut; they’re begging for it. If she tries, she still might not move at all.

“Darling,” he says softly. Her heart warms at the term, and she lets him pull her up. Lorcan tosses a scrap of fabric into the corner after wiping her stomach clean. Elide feels sluggish as he helps her into his shirt once more, a different one this time. He smooths her hair back.

She smiles a bit, then pitches herself against him. “Sleep?”

Lorcan hums in agreement and they lie down once more. She curls against his side. He’s never been one for intimacy post-coitus, but with her he wraps her in his arms so she’s pressed into his chest. A blanket covers them and could offer her sufficient warmth, yet he endeavours to keep her close. His hand fits in the cradle of her waist.

Elide idly traces the line of his collarbone, tiredness forcing her words to slur. “Will you come with me?”

“I will.”

“For how long?”

“However long you want,” he murmurs, a vow.

She wonders outloud, “What if I want you forever?”

“I will be with you always.”

She smiles against his hot skin and drifts off with a warm feeling in her chest. When they wake to steal away before the sun, she’ll realise that it’s hope.

✵✵✵✵✵

an: ive had the last scene rolling around my head for a while but didnt know where to fit it, so im pretty happy abt finishing this! we'll see if this writing/posting thing continues but i am headed into finals soon soooo boo!

tag list: @sassyhobbits @empress-ofbloodshed @celestialend @the-regal-warrior @shyvioletcat @icecream52 @elentiyawhitethorn @goddess-aelin @julemmaes @sunshinebingo (lmk if u want to be added/removed)

#elorcan #elide x lorcan #elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #nalgenewhore #isa writes

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onshrike · 9 months ago

Text

my full comic from @neverturnbackzine

my core pitch for the zine was a comic focusing on shadow's uncertain identity and the power of suggestion.

"If he says he knows the truth about who I am...then like it or not, I have to believe him."

with this comic i wanted to explore how the semi-dark route feels like a storyline where shadow gets manipulated by black doom (of course, the pure dark route also carries this feeling, but semi-dark feels a bit heavier to me personally). he's fed just enough information to keep him following along and open up his mind to black doom's ideals, but he still retains the ability to question things... until he doesn't.

"That's right. This will remind you what the humans did to you. Never forget that horrifying image!"

in the end, shadow's story ends the way black doom wants it to.

the majority of the dialogue in my comic is comprised of quotes from the game (cutscenes & level dialogue) either directly or altered. it's been a few months so i wasn't able to track down all of them again (most are general sentiments across multiple routes anyway), but here are a few i could find in order of appearance in the comic. used or altered lines are in bold:

Page 1

SHADOW: Who are you? BLACK DOOM: You don't remember anything, do you? But you will... In time. But now, there's no time to waste here.

Page 2

SHADOW: ("Shadow the Hedgehog"... Why does that name haunt me? It's the only thing I can remember. And that gruesome image...)

Page 3

BLACK DOOM: Those vile soldiers are still defiling our precious home.

BLACK DOOM: What a pathetic sight. Shadow, follow them. Make sure they understand their situation.

MARIA: Don't worry, Grandfather. Shadow and I will protect this planet. Right, Shadow?

Page 4

SHADOW: ("Shadow the Hedgehog"... Why does that name haunt me? It's the only thing I can remember. And that gruesome image...)

there's one line of level dialogue i wrote down that i originally wanted to open the comic with if i had been assigned to the Neutral route. it's "Are you awake, Shadow?". i don't know why it stuck in my head so badly. there's just something so... heavy about it. Black Doom's level dialogue in Glyphic Canyon was the main influence for the tone of my comic. once i started paying really close attention to what BD was saying, i couldn't un-hear the ill intent i got out of it.

#zines #shadow the hedgehog #black doom #sonic #comics #2023 #undescribed

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the-meat-machine · 9 months ago

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In Defense of Ultimate Dirk

I am going to be honest: I have a hard time understanding why people think Ultimate Dirk is out of character. Because if there is one character I can believe would willingly take on the role of the villain if he thought it meant saving everything he held dear, it's Dirk.

See, Ultimate Dirk isn't Dirk just randomly becoming a villain. He's not suddenly acting mean for no reason. It's not even that he was destined to be a villain (though Dirk believes he was, and that plays into it). Ultimate Dirk is Dirk deliberately playing up his own worst traits in order to make himself the villain because that's the only path forward he can see -- not just for himself, but for everyone.

The way I see it, in the post-canon, Dirk's growing powers make him uncomfortably aware of several massive problems.

Problem 1

Dirk is a fictional character. All of his friends are fictional characters. And the story he's from is over. Without more canon coming out, Dirk is convinced that everyone and everything he loves is doomed to a slow slide into irrelevance. They will fade out of the public consciousness. Everyone will forget about them. And outside of the minds of the creator and the audience, Dirk et al. have no existence. Without more stories about them, there is no more of them. In Dirk's view, the end of canon is tantamount to death -- and not just for him. For everyone he cares about. This is the fundamental problem driving Ultimate Dirk. Nothing could be more important than ensuring that his friends' stories get to continue.

Problem 2

Dirk's growing Heart powers mean he is becoming intimately familiar with his friends' internal lives. More familiar than anyone would reasonably want to be. More familiar than anyone can be while retaining their own sanity and their respect for their friends. Dirk sees all the ways they're failing to live up to their potential. In fact, he can't NOT see all their little flaws, all the mistakes they make, all the bad decisions they justify to themselves, all the ways they could be more than they are but fail to live up to. To someone like Dirk, who feels intensely driven to guide his friends toward self-improvement, this must be absolutely maddening.

Problem 3

Dirk knows that his splinters are a Problem. Ultimate Dirk is the sum total of all Dirks, and that means that his consciousness now includes such luminaries as Bro Strider, Doc Scratch, Lord English, and Lil Cal. Ultimate Dirk knows intimately what his influence has wrought on Paradox Space, and it's not great! Splinters of his have had a hand in pretty much every awful thing that happens in Homestuck and in particular have deeply harmed Dave, the person who is perhaps most important to him in the universe. And now those splinters are part of him. He understands how they thought, why they did what they did. There are parts of him that feel that they were justified, even as he hates himself for it, hates himself for everything that he feels that he is. Everything he can see is pointing to him fundamentally being a callous, sadistic puppeteer. He's drowning in his own dismal persona and can't see any way to escape from it.

(One thing I'd like to note here is that Dirk's abilities as a fully realized Ultimate Prince of Heart, though extremely powerful, still have limitations. In particular, he cannot see the future. He can see what other versions of himself became, but he cannot see what he is going to become. But I don't think he notices that there's actually nothing that destines him to have to repeat his splinters' mistakes. His powers make him feel as though he already knows everything there is to know about himself. They make him inclined to see the Self as an immutable whole. It doesn't occur to him that the actions of his splinters don't have to dictate what he becomes. It doesn't occur to him that he could change.)

The "Solution"

So. Here is what I think is going on with Ultimate Dirk:

Dirk needs there to be more Homestuck. He wants his friends to live up to their potential. Forcing them to do so would be villainous… but a new villain is exactly what the story needs in order to continue. So, why not kill two birds with one stone? He can embrace the villainy he thinks he's destined to fall into anyway, puppeteer his friends to drag them in the directions he thinks they should go, and thereby spark a conflict that will kick off new stories and make his friends into even greater heroes. Really, he has the power to save his friends from oblivion. What sort of dick would he be if he didn't?

And if the course Dirk is planning ends with his own Just death at Dave's hands, well, it's only what he deserves... isn't it?

#homestuck post-canon #ultimate dirk #meatmeta #there. i summarized the point of the post-canon dirk wip i'll probably never finish for you. you're welcome

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108garys · 7 days ago

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The Clarkes haunting the narrative is THE point

The following was a response to the idea that the prologue and end hold little hope back that ended up being way longer than intended, no shade on the person who said that I just realised that I didn't want to drop a whole essay on them, so without any more preamble:

Truthfully I am completely disinterested in making Little Hope more palatable to people who require the story's soul to be torn out to enjoy it because that's what the beginning and ending is. The broken heart of little hope.

That said I very much love the middle too but the Clarke family's story is the heart and soul of little hope and the whole point, otherwise why does anything in the town matter? Vince? Just some dude, the subplot of the town falling apart, being in the literal wreckage of 1970s era Little Hope? Random set dressing because a straight up three century old ruin of a town would just lack the infrastructure required to have the facade of searching for help in town… So many of the secrets are about them, you straight up spend a good chunk of the runtime passively learning about the individual family members both in private and public and even though I think some people choose the shallowest reading out of spite it is very deliberately stated that there is an element of choice in interpretation, the curator says so at the start. The more praised facets would be greatly diminished without the Clarkes, the subtextual nature of overcoming your demons gives meaning to the outright textual fighting of demonic monsters and the parallels would not be as strong between the 2020 and 1692 eras alone.

It is a common mistake that there are better or worse versions of the characters but it's simply not true as they are all different aspects and much like a triangle needs three points the cast of little hope needs all three points of reference to fully appreciate their stories. My earliest read of Little Hope centred on Anthony recontextualising his family in two divergent ways, 1692 where they are presented as victims of circumstance and 2020 where they are more deliberately flawed people who must overcome their demons because the truth is that both things are true of the Clarkes and so they are separated out into their different aspects and analysed accordingly.

Angela's characterisation doesn't work exclusively compared to Amy, her story of fighting for her agency doesn't land the same without Anne, Amy on paper is a woman who did everything right bar being too harsh to a child and was killed for it, Angela is a woman burnt by her past yet soldering on and still retains the same flaw of blaming the child, where as Anne being a snowed under house wife who struggles with keeping her family together and feels like she has zero agency in her situation and all the while fails to understand the perspectives of the very people she feels responsible for is the context between Amy the beloved wife who is wrongfully accused and uses her one bit of agency to place mistaken blame on Mary and Angela who refuses to rely on or believe in anyone or anything, the fact that she's divorced and starting over in her late forties does not work when only compared to the wholesome yet tragic Lamberts who's marriage is never depicted in the negative to justify Angela's divorce. She'd appear as a nearly fully different person for no reason without Anne to bridge the gap and make their depictions consistent, without the 1970s it just looks like she's angry at her husband for failing to save her despite his best efforts and that severely damages her character and arc.

Connected to that, J places his trust in the wrong places, delegates, blame shifts and runs from facing the bigger problem, the alcoholism is emblematic of this but the refusal to see the truth about M's innocence and place responsibility at the feet of the proper authority because he'd have to confront his misplaced faith requires all three, Joseph failing to his dying breath to understand Mary's innocence and James getting blackout drunk over the stress of problems he finds insurmountable are necessary context to John's sobriety and further arc and John being a recovering alcoholic would just be flavour text without the harsh sting of how addiction colours James.

Daylor wouldn't lose its questionable reading if they were only siblings in 50% of other eras instead of two thirds but Dennis expressing his frustration at Tanya pulling away contextualises their codependency and mutual need to be needed in a way that is incomplete, you see a couple in the early stages of dating and siblings who got killed three hundred years prior, the 70s contextualise T's need for stability and dependability and her survival instincts pushing her to flee and D's arrested development in the way he struggles to function when they aren't a unit, beyond that David and Tabitha care for Mary together in Amy's trial scene and after her death he doesn't even fight his own execution, not even to continue the task of raising his only remaining orphand sister alone, this isn't to say David doesn't love Mary as he blatantly shows care for her in not wanting her to be traumatised by his death but he simply falls apart without Tabitha and Dennis being the way he is when Tanya is pulling away from the family shows a lower stakes, longer depiction of that breaking down but she's still physically there so it isn't collapsing in grief, it's the simmering resentment of feeling like a person you care for isn't prioritising you reciprocally, these feelings aren't wrong in of themselves but they aren't pretty and Daniel's outbursts and more negative dialogue choices and David's quiet grief don't capture the way that feeling of being stabbed a million times over everything time you aren't the first choice but the other person didn't wrong you by choosing differently so there is no proper way to get that out feels. D is often mistaken as a shallow generically decent guy with a random angry iteration that doesn't fit into a boring whole but it's simply not the case, him proving he can be reliable in 2020, his fight against his various insecurities is something he needs to do for himself as much as T, the others aren't better adjusted or better people compared to Dennis, their circumstances just present entirely differently.

Furthermore Taylor feeling like an outsider doesn't work alone with Tabitha being part of a family unit, I've seen it misinterpreted as Taylor being less proactive than her counterparts but the truth is that T's behaviour is characterised by survival instinct and a need for stability, Tabitha realises something is wrong after the first death and attempts to protect Mary but counsels keeping their heads down, Taylor being vocally in favour of staying put and Tanya's quiet desperation to get away from everything are not opposite but different flavors of the same base needs, Tanya legitimately being a practising witch adds a layer between the other two versions, Tanya appears very conventional despite her secret unconventional beliefs and Taylor is the inverse being visually the most nonconforming member of the cast while her desire for a knight in shining armour is very traditional in its own way, pair this with the straight forward trial of Tabitha and you get an exploration of not going with the first assumptions that blankets the rest of the narrative.

Carver is a great antagonist all his own but without 1972 there is no broader context, and even if you still have that era but not the Clarkes it would just be "this guy's bloodline remained assholes for centuries" and not the direct parallel to Carson, there is no canonical 2020 equivalent to his character yet he haunts the narrative beyond himself, judge wyman intentionally mirrors the passing neighbour who immediately demanded to know what Anthony had done when the matchbox is revealed, the accusatory paranoid hysteria of puritan little hope and Anthony's poor treatment after the death of his family are directly connected and that's the point, Melissa is there to bring the conversation about the little girl's guilt or innocence to the forefront in a way that makes it a present plotline that goes beyond Mary and brings in the nature that the past is reflected in other eras and without Megan you lose a lot, Melissa requires her context in a way that Mary alone doesn't achieve and Abraham and Andrew's decision on the matter is in fact a question over Anthony's guilt and his internal struggle between blaming himself and blaming Megan and the further grief around this unresolved guilt to the point where he was psychologically unable to process the death of his family for nearly fifty years is the point, the whole point, of the 1692 reframing.

the Clarke family haunts every aspect of Little Hope and without the ending it would be pointless, the way their deaths hang over everything to the point where the puritan versions are doomed to die in the same way they were already depicted as dying and the way an engaged person would quickly catch on that 1972 death=1692 death and therefore 2020 character faces the same fate, it would be meaningless without the Clarke tragedy, it would simply be shock value that builds towards nothing without the ending and the ending doesn't make the game any less about the other eras because they are one and the same in every way that matters.

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venteas · 1 year ago

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now my life is sweet like cinnamon, like a fuckin' dream i'm living in - genshin fic

ft. yae miko, ei, zhongli, jean, neuvilette

summary: they've left the universe, but are still watching you from above <3 (letters from them to you after they're gone, take that as you will, but it is heavily implied that they are dead)

YAE MIKO! my dearest yn, i have so much to tell you. there's so much i've seen here, and i wish with all my heart that you could be here with me. don't get me wrong, little one, i do believe you should stay a little longer, just to experience the whole of teyvat (and please send me all your stories, i just love reading them over fried tofu), but it'd be nice to have someone here with me to experience these wonderful things. i've met some old friends now, and we've caught up on so much. who knew a few hundred years could change someone so drastically, yet retain their essence? i wonder when you journey here, will you still be the same? oh, it'd be interesting, don't you think? it'd make a terrific novel. 'world-renowned traveller traverses the afterlife, how do they fare?', a fine title for an article, isn't that right? well, i should probably get going now. there's so much to do, and so much to see. do tell ei to write me back sometime, it would be lovely to hear from her again. and you, little one, should write to me too. hehe, the stories from your travels are always amusing, after all. with love, fried tofu with all the frills

EI! dear yn, how have you been? it must be awfully tiring, travelling around. i do hope you get the proper rest you need. there's always desserts in inazuma, feel free to stop by and help yourself to some. oh, and how is little paimon doing? i remember she quite enjoyed the sweets we shared on a number of our walks. frankly, it's been rather relaxing here. i enjoy it very much. it would be a great pleasure if you could visit one day, but that'd mean your journey would come to an end, and i know you have your sibling to find. i am regretful that i am unable to provide much information on her, but i've heard stories of a traveller very much like you, from centuries ago. they say that the traveller was brave, valiant and kind-hearted, much like you. it is at times like these that i realise i have missed so much, meditating in the plane of euthymia. i dearly wish that i had more time with my people, and you, of course, to truly understand the wonders of this world. do that for me, won't you? live your life out to the fullest. do not leave behind any regrets. and when we meet again, you will tell me all about your adventures. oh, and bring some desserts for me, please. thank you. yours sincerely, ei

ZHONGLI! yn, it has been a while since we last corresponded. how have you been doing? i heard that you are currently in fontaine. it is a beautiful place, i must admit. one full of history and culture and stories. if we have time, let us sit down with osmanthus wine and i shall tell you the stories i've heard. there's a story told in liyue, of a man who plays the guqin and another, a lumberjack, who understood his playing. it is said that the guqin player and the lumberjack agreed to meet at the very place they met a year later. tragically, the lumberjack met his end before he could fulfill this promise. wrecked with grief, the guqin player vowed to never touch even a string again, destroying his instrument, for what use would there be if there was no one else who would understand him? hearing this story again, it reminded me of you. who else had such empathy that they could understand the will of the divine? that said, you do have many other nations in teyvat to explore. throughout your journey, you will meet gods in disguise, and mortals disguised as gods. you will meet the soft-hearted, and the cruel. and you will survive it all, for you are an adventurer, above gods and deities, above the Heavenly Principles. please do visit me when you have time. i'd love to have a drink or two with you someday. and if you could, do check up on liyue sometime. i know they are well, but as a mortal, i never got the chance to experience it fully. it would mean a lot if you could do it in my stead. childe should have enough funds, should you need any. yours, zhongli

JEAN! my lovely yn, i heard you are doing well. that's good to hear, really. your job as an adventurer comes with its risks, and though they may not show it, but the knights of favonius often worry about your safety. haha, on more than one occasion, i've caught a few of them in the tavern wondering about you. do visit mondstadt more often to put their mind at ease, yeah? speaking of mondstadt, how are things over there? i left in such a rush that i wonder if things are frenzied. oh, i know i shouldn't worry, but i don't want everyone to pick up after me. you know how lisa hates doing work. kaeya's often busy too, travelling to sumeru and whatnot. albedo and sucrose are often busy with their experiments too, so i doubt they'd have time. and amber! how is she? poor girl, i heard her father passed on recently. she will get through it, i'm sure. and little klee, oh, i hope someone's able to keep her company. ah, am i rambling too much? i apologise, i've just been so worried over them. if you don't mind me asking, how has barbara been? i was her only family, since she isn't that close to the ragndinvr brothers, but i was always swamped with work. i do hope she's doing better. i never did get the chance to say i'm proud of all that she's accomplished now, did i? in that sense, i think i've failed terribly. enough about me, though. where has the wind taken you to? what else have you seen? and paimon, she's still with you, isn't she? take care of each other, both of you. come back to mondstadt when you need a break, its doors are always open for you. i hope to see you again, dear yn. may the wind bless your travels. best regards, jean gunnhildr NEUVILETTE! dear yn, ahem, is that how you start an informal letter? i apologise in advance, i am unused to sending such letters. now that you have left fontaine, things have strangely been a little duller. i often find myself looking up from my desk, waiting to see your face as you hand over a bottle of water from yet another one of your travel destinations. i thought i had sampled water from all over, but alas, you have once again proven me wrong. it was always a delight, however, to watch your expressions as i comment on the taste. i think, in some ways, it has helped me identify the subtle cues of humans. for example, when you lean in just a little when i speak, it shows your interest in my opinion. conversely, when your fingers start fidgeting, i know i've overstepped. i do not wish to bore you with an incredibly long letter, so i shall keep this as concise as possible. as you travel across teyvat, you will face victories and defeat. i know that your fairy companion will, sooner or later, tell you this, but you need to know that you are a traveller unlike any other. you are stronger than most, kinder than most. your strengths are built from your weaknesses, so one loss is just another stepping stone. with that said, i wish you all the best in your travels. when the time comes, let us sit down and have a meal, my treat. warmest regards, neuvilette

a/n: the story mentioned in zhongli's part is actually true! it's about 伯牙, a guqin player who wrote 水仙操 and 钟子期, a woodcutter. their story is more about their devotion towards each other as friends despite the staggering difference in class. you can read about them here.

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #yae miko x reader #raiden shogun x reader #ei x reader #raiden ei x reader #zhongli x reader #jean x reader #neuvilette x reader #yae miko #raiden shogun #raiden ei #zhongli #jean #neuvilette #angst

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atierrorian · 2 years ago

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Hi!! If requests are still open, could I request headcanons of Sebek, Riddle, Vil and Jamil with an s/o who makes them a bento box 🍱 because they love them oh so much? TYSM!!

Sure! I am so sorry for not responding or doing this requests!

Thank you so much for requesting tho!

tw: Nothing just you making and giving them a bento box! Fluff, ooc

-So how do I write this man

-Ah I know!

-Now we all now Sebek is uh quite hard headed, let's say, but your his s/o so you get soft moments with him!

-The price for that is that you have to hear him scream every. single. time.

-Okay maybe not every time but you know what I mean

-You did noticed that Sebek was a little bit more busy than usual (I wonder why) and decided "you know what? Let's go make him a bento!" and because you love Sebek so much and see his efforts even if some people find him annoying most of the time

-So while Sebek was doing what he always does, you decide to make a bento for him for all his hard work and his efforts and because you appreciate him!

-And after all that hard work you were very proud of your own work and decided to give it to Sebek once you found him! (Which didn't take too much time considering he always tries to find you if he isn't trying to find Waka sama)

-He saw you and he ran to you

-Now some people may underestimate Sebek because of how loud he is and yata yata but believe me he can be pretty observant as he is one of Malleus retainers

-Sebek noticed you hid both your hands behind your back while you smiled at him

-Sebek was going to question you what you had behind your hands until you interrupted him and brought both your hands to his face like one of those cliche anime scenes if yk what I mean

-Safe to say Sebek was surprise, and the tsundere he is, he started to stammer his words and like those cliche anime scenes once again, turned his head around and crossed his arms while his face was beet red

-You laugh of course and just told him to take it

-He did btw

-His face still obviously red but nonetheless grateful for the bento box and the more he looked at it the more his face turned red

-It could possibly rival Riddle's hair color

-The next day Sebek tells you to gift him more bento box because it's your food that you made and he admits, it's delicious! (Listen even if you suck at cooking or baking, Sebek will still love it nonetheless)

-RIDDLE OGJISESDBG

-Anyways ignore that and we'll get back on to our main topic thank you very much

-Now, Riddle is always so busy being the housewarden and dealing with rule breakers and you decided, "hey why not make him a bento?" Because he deserves it and because you noticed more lately that he seems a little bit more tired than usual

-And because you love him dearly too

-So the plan was set!

-While Riddle was dealing with the Rule breakers and doing his duties as the house warden, you made a bento in the kitchen of Heartslabyul

-It wasn't the best, but it wasn't the worst too!

-The Adeuce, Trey and Cater know what your doing and they teased you lightly for making a bento for their house warden but told you good luck

-If you were being honest, you were quite nervous to see how this would turn out

-But you suck it up and decided to just give it to him!

-You just really hope he really really likes it!

-And he did

-So here's how it went. Riddle had a break from all his duties and decided to be in the Garden where the hedgehogs were and played with them, keeping them entertained (Sevens above if someone besides you saw it they would lose their head)

-And you being the s/o of Riddle, of course knew where he was! It was technically part of the rules too so it was natural for him to follow

-you went to the Garden and went out to find Riddle with the hedgehogs and decided to sneak up on him

-It was not a good idea

-He understandably flinched and yelled out "OFF WITH YOUR HEAD"

-You knew what was coming but you wanted to the pay the price for the reaction

-Riddle saw that it was just you and decided to remove the collar and apologized to you while some of the hedgehogs went to your side

-Riddle asked you why you were here and you said you wanted to give him something

-And you gave him a bento

-To say the least, he was surprise, it took him a minute to process what was happening, but once he did, his face was all red that was even redder than his hair!

-But he thanked you nonetheless and gave you a quick small peck on the cheeck

-Safe to say it turned out great!

-And now every now and then, you make him a bento and got better overtime!

-VIL TOO EOIHFEWF

-Uh okay anyways

-Ah the infamous model, Vil Schoenheit, where do I begin with this?

-Vil is the most busiest of them all, so he doesn't really spend time much with you sadly, but whenever he has the chance he does spend time with you

-And since Vil was going to have one of his rare breaks, you decided for the day to make him a bento! And because you love him very much

-It took lots attempts trying to perfect it, and how it would fit Vil's diet

-You skimmed through recipe books for the perfect bento food and found the one! You immediately started working on it and tried to perfect it no matter how many attempts

-You were very determined to perfect this!

-Now normally you wouldn't try to be very determined to do this kinds of things, but this was Vil we were talking about! Your literal boyfriend, plus considered as a perfect and beautiful model too

-You didn't want to mess it up now!

-After awhile you finally perfected the bento and carefully molded the food in the bento and closed it with the lid

-You really hope Vil would like it

-As I said before, Vil's schedule is so busy it's insane, but today was his break so he decided to try and find you to spend time with him

-But he hasn't seen you much lately..

-He asked Rook if he knew where you went, Rook said that you were planning something special and that he would like to keep it a secret from him

-Vil was curious but didn't press any further as he wanted to see what you have planned today

-Rook simply smiled at him and told him to meet you at the spot you guys met. Vil turned around and went to where you were

-Or where you guys met

-He saw you sitting on a bench while holding something. He took a step closer trying to see what it was

-You noticed him and waved at him and you stand up and gave Vil the bento you made

-Vil was surprise but regained quickly his composure

-He took it from you and you smiled at him, and from the rest of the day the both of you held hands together and smiled at each other, Vil btw also loves the food or bento that you made and appreciate that you tried to do it in a similar way of his diet

-Rook is also watching you guys btw

-HELP I'M RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS

-Now Jamil is also very busy, with having to babysit Kalim and cleaning up after kalim is just really tiring and exhausted

-You felt bad and decided to make a bento for Jamil and tell him to take a break once in awhile, and this is your way of saying I love you to him

-So you quickly went to it

-Finding some recipes and stuff yk the same

-And some time later yata yata still the same, you finished the bento

-Jamil relieved a sigh of breath since he finally managed to get a break from Kalim

-Jamil was sitting on his bed when all of the sudden, you busted down the door and approach Jamil while he jumped from the sudden violence against his door

-Jamil looked at you, curious to know what you did now

-He was about to scold you as well and ask you why you were here when suddenly you gave him the bento and ask him to take care of himself and left the room

-with a note

-Jamil looked at the box, and then at the letter, and it went back and forth. Before he really started to read the letter

-"Dear Jamil, I want you to take care of yourself and take a break once in awhile, let someone else deal with Kalim for a little, maybe at least 5 minutes or 10 minutes or so? But that's all I have to say in this letter and I love you- [name]"

-Jamil slowly closed the letter and started to blush and was grateful for your efforts

-Jamil promised to you and himself that he would take care of himself better and take a few breaks, just for you

-He put the letter on top of his drawer and ate the food in the bento while smiling to himself

I just realized, most of my headcannons are related to food or most of you guys requests foods.

Btw you can really really tell I started running out of ideas

Well hope you guys enjoyed this fanfic and thank you for requesting!

#atier's works✎#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #sebek x reader #riddle x reader #vil x reader #jamil #sebek zigvolt x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #vil shoenheit x reader #jamil viper x reader

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dearweirdme · 5 months ago

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I was just curious about you and other followers and supporters of Taekook, how we’ve all felt about their relationship the further in we’ve gotten from the beginning of their enlistment. To put into context: despite Paris and T*ennie and everything, 2023 really did come close to convincing me 100% of Taekook, though most days I still tried to retain a healthy sense of skepticism about them.

These days though, we haven’t seen them in a while, so now I feel probably closer to 60-70% that they are SOMETHING more than friends. Like I almost ask myself each day, could they really be that? Isn’t that a little impossible? And if they are… can they manage to make it through this difficult period of extended separation? What would they even be like when they come out of the military?

It’s not like I’m having doubts, but it does just seem too good to be true the further away we get from seeing them in the present time.

I wonder if you or your other followers are feeling this way…

Hi anon!

My feelings and ideas about them haven’t changed. My expectations about seeing them together or hearing about them together during enlistment were very low even before they left last december. To me this is a period of time in which we will most likely get nothing to base our understanding of the current state of their relationship on. My state of mind going through this period is basically that I believe they were probably together before they enlisted, I am aware of the possibility of them not making it through this, but I have high hopes that they will. I think a possible breakup will be noticeable when BTS reunites.. and in the meantime all we can do is base our thoughts on whatever we might get to see.

I’ve seen comments about them having broken up because Tae hasn’t posted Jk yet and on them having not seen each other yet. To me those things mean nothing. Would it surprise me if Tae posted Jk at one point.. no, but at the same time I’m never expecting him to. Even last year, though it was a great Tkk year, we probably saw them together way less than they actually were. Just like all members probably saw each other more than we were aware of. They choose when to post about each other, they do not only post about each other when they actually meet. People will call me an idiot for this probably, but Jk doesn’t seem to want to be seen at the moment.. and I think all members would probably be aware of how the others want to be present in fandom right now.

It’s a hard time for those who like to have reassurances every now and then. Selfdoubt is a thing and it very often occurs when looking back at things. It does not surprise me that Tkk fandom has become a bit.. quiet lately. It is something we have to deal with though, because I truly think we won’t get much realtime Tkk for another year. Personally I’m not bothered much, because I always deal well with not knowing everything. I did not become a Tkkr without looking into things extensively first, and my ideas about everything I’ve seen have not changed. To me all the Tkkry from the past is still as valid as it was before enlistment.

I always kinda wonder about the ‘good to be true’ aspect I see sometimes (and I’m not wanting to be critical here, I just truly wonder), because to me that seems like people think Tae and Jk are this magical fairytale come to life. If we are correct about them I do feel we are seeing something unique, but to me it does not carry much of the magical fairytale. I think what we have spotted is the very cruel treatment of two boys/men in love. Sure, they are rich and famous and handsome and their love ia of the greatest kind, but a lot of the things we have spotted is actually signs of closeting, of two sensitive boys having to hide their feelings. While I do get the romantic side of seeing Tae and Jk together (obviously I do 🥰🥰🥰), I have at times thought that maybe if I were wrong about them it wouldn’t be a bad thing.. because that would mean that they didn’t go through some of the hard stuff I think they went through.

#taekook #fandom shenanigans

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writerswhy · 5 months ago

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do you think hinamori can forgive aizen? he manipulated and used her from the beginning. i dont see why she has to forgive.

Disclaimer: none of this is meant to be apologia, nor am I trying to speak for others. I work in medical, adjacent to law enforcement/legal, and have personally experienced intimate violence. Just trying to let you guys know where I’m coming from. Thank you <3

Also, this is technically part 2 to anon’s question. I feel like I did a better job at elaborating on Hinamori’s character here.

You know, this comes up a lot in both fandom and real-life—this talk of forgiveness and redemption, getting “over” it—and it’s not something that necessarily interests me because of how it’s typically presented. I think it’s pretty reflective of the space and language we lack to explore conversations outside this model of punitive justice and its by-products.

I like to think that for someone like Hinamori who has a solid moral code and tends to shoulder responsibility for a lot of things—her people, her position, her friends, even the work she does for the academy—she’d subscribe to models like transformative justice or restorative justice.

I think she believes that Soul Society can one day be a better place but also acknowledge that the expression of it is imperfect and not a one-size-fits-all solution. As someone who actually puts in the work, a path forward can manifest in two ways: one for Lieutenant Hinamori and the other for Hinamori Momo.

Hinamori plays an active role in the institution. She’s on the inside of this whole thing. In the aforementioned post I said that Hinamori can choose to bury her head in the sand, rage and follow in Aizen’s footsteps, grow bitter and alienate parts of herself, or hold onto this moral vision of hers and learn to work in and outside the Seireitei for a better Soul Society. We’ve seen her reclaim her lieutenancy on her terms, so I don’t think she’ll have much trouble there. And we know she has no problem challenging authority. I think she can learn to make the system work for her and her cause. I imagine that on the outside she would start some community outreach program to improve the lives of the Rukongai denizens.

Internally though, it’s complicated. I’m not going to get into it here but I think Hinamori and Aizen have a lot more in common than either would admit and I think a big part of their relationship was almost like a response to the roles they both had to play within the Seireitei, roles they didn’t necessarily agree with.

While writing this I kept thinking: who would Hinamori be if she had not joined the gotei (and if Soul Society had other avenues for souls like hers)? I think she would still retain her moral compass and ambition, but what would that look like on the outside? Maybe in direct opposition to the Seireitei, participating in or even leading an upheaval? And that’s a hard pill to swallow, that if circumstances were just a little different, she could find herself on the other side. (Not in the same way though, for obvious reasons.)

I think Hinamori would agree with the following: that violence has history, and crime—instead of a law broken—can be seen as a relationship that has been damaged. A relationship between people, between communities, between systems, a relationship of trust. (I mean, isn’t that what the Soul Society arc was about? Isn’t that what Aizen preyed on?)

I think Hinamori knows that the cause of Aizen and co’s defection was rooted in the history of the underbelly of the system they uphold. I think this goes back to how they lack the language and space to acknowledge this reality and engage in meaningful and productive dialogue to the betterment of the institution, the perpetrators (because they are and have to be a part of this conversation), the victims and community.

So, do I think Hinamori could forgive Aizen? As lieutenant, I think she would have to come to terms with and understand the greater “why” of his defection to proceed responsibly. For models like restorative and transformative justice, the victim has to be the one to initiate the conversation and it has to be mutually agreed upon. Interestingly, she was not given that choice when the Wandenreich invaded. It may sound defeatist, but I think this is something that must be continuously processed: for as long as she works for the gotei, Aizen becomes more a concept than a person. Every once in a while, when a new enemy rises or when she hears the whisper of a wandering ghost, she’ll remember his words.

For Hinamori Momo, someone who feels deeply and values greatly, I don’t think it’s as simple as to forgive or not forgive (maybe it’s something beyond that). Aizen had a great impact on her and I’m sure some of the knowledge she gained she still believes in and incorporates into her work. I don’t want to take that away from her, nor do I think that means she’s still holding out hope to one day pick up where they left off. It’s not denying his violence or solely championing the good times, it’s about recognizing that in some ways she valued his mentorship and guidance. That he took up a major space in her life that cannot be taken up by another nor can she wave it away like it never happened. It’s a transformative process, taking something and crafting it into your image, and sometimes that’s the hardest path to take.

But like I said, I don’t think their society has the tools to facilitate this type of conversation without alienating another (like, I don’t think the gotei questions her being there, but maybe every once in a while, when she messes up on something they’ll attribute it to her trauma, which can be pretty damaging. It’s a cycle—she’s off her game for whatever reason —> they’ll think it’s because of Aizen —> that makes her even more anxious and resentful because is it? How is she to know if no one wants to openly talk —> so on and so forth). I said I see Hinamori as someone who is always asking herself “am I feeling this right?” and this is definitely one of those instances.

-----------

I don’t think this answers your question, anon, but I hope you see where I’m coming from! Thank you so much for the ask. I had a lot of fun thinking it through<33

#I’m definitely going to have to follow up on this post lol #hinamori momo #aizen sosuke #bleach

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yumeinati · 11 months ago

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Seeing what my sister knows about the Mechanisms - Spoilers: Not enough

I love my sister, I do. She lets me rant to her about the Mechanisms 24/7. But the real question is whether or not she pays attention to what I say. I decided to quiz her and see how much she retains from our conversations <3

DTTM Spoilers/Talk

Starting off with everyone's favorite Captain First Mate!

Name: Jonny d'Ville | Mechanism: Blood | Role: Master at Arms

"He's cool I guess"

Not really surprised by her response to him, nor am I shocked she got his Mechanism wrong since when I first asked her to do this, she was like "I only know three of them. Jonny d'Ville, Nastya Rasputina, and Jonny Sims" and I had to remind her that two of those were the same person. Speaking of Nastya Rasputina!

Name: Nastya Rasputina | Mechanism: Lungs | Role: Pilot

"My favorite" Proceeded to give a thumbs up.

As I taught her, Nastya is best girl and deserves the whole world. I am rather shocked she got her Mechanism wrong as I once word vomited to her about mercury poisoning when I was plotting for a Nastya-centric fic, but its okay. Next up is Ashes!

Name: Ashes O'Reilly | Mechanism: Eyes | Role: Quartermaster

"They're cool, I like them"

Used the wrong pronouns but immediately realized and corrected herself before I had to so that's a win that she paid attention there. (We stan an ally <3) I talk about Ashes so much so I'm surprised that she got their Mechanism wrong but its okay, I still love her. Now to an Archivist who actually knows how to do her job (this is S1 Jon Sims slander, I am not sorry, he did not know what he was doing)

Name: Ivy Alexandria | Mechanism: Brain | Role: ????

"I don't really know...Ivy I guess is cool."

I don't talk about Ivy as much as I should, which I really should change because Ivy is amazing. When asked about why she was '????' she just went "I don't know...she has those vibes." which is 100% understandable. Time for the drumbot himself!

Name: Drumbot Brian | Mechanism: All but Heart | Role: Engineer

"Cool."

How does she not have more to say about him? He's been the focus of my rants since I got home from Uni on Sunday and all she has to say is 'cool'. Engineer is at least the closest she could get to Pilot, but I'm still a bit disappointed she didn't get all the answers right. On to her...absolute favorite, TS.

Name: Toy Soldier | Mechanism: All but Voice | Role: Archivist

"The Toy Soldier is the best character and there's no doubt about that."

Her answer came so quickly after I asked her how she felt about TS, I honestly can't say I'm surprised though. She thinks it's a silly little creature. Now to the man that I'm like 100% sure she has a love/hate relationship with, Tim.

Name: Gunpowder Tim | Mechanism: Heart | Role: First Mate

"Cool."

Once again, really confused about how she doesn't have more to say about him. He's literally carrying a huge gun so like, a tad confused on my she didn't think he was Master at Arms, but its alright. Funnily enough, she got the next two completely right, starting with Marius.

Name: Marius von Raum | Mechanism: Arm | Role: Doctor

"His arm is cool."

Applause for her getting everything correct. I force her to listen to The Wassailant in the car. There is no surprise she got his stuff right because I talk about Kofi, and by default Marius, so often. And finally, last but not least, Raphaella <3

Name: Raphaella la Cognizi | Mechanism: Wings | Role: Science Officer

"Just take off the wings and she'd be cooler. Just saying."

The disappointment when she said that was at its peak. I cannot believe that she would say that about the Raphaella la Cognizi and I will be making sure she changes her ways.

I'm not too surprised with Nastya and TS being her favorites, seeing as I talked about them most when I first got into Mechs, but the Raph slander was absolutely uncalled for </3

I also asked her some lore questions.

Q: What is the ship’s name? | A: Aurora

Q: Who is dating the starship, The Aurora? | A: Jonny

Q: Which Mechanism Mechanized themself? | A: Nastya

Q: Who was the first Mechanism? | A: Jonny

Q: Who were the last two Mechanisms to join the crew? | A: Marius and Ivy

Q: Who was the first Mechanism to die/leave the crew? | A: Tim

Q: Who was the last Mechanism to die, timeline-wise? | A: Jonny

Q: Which Mechanism died by death by Octokittens? | A: Brian

Q: Which Mechanism has a morality switch? | A: Brian

Q: Who had a ‘best friend’ named Bertie? | A: Jonny

Q: Which one is an arsonist? | A: Raphaella

Q: Which one blew up the moon? | A: Tim

Q: Which one is a cannibal? | A: Marius

All in all, somewhat disappointed in my ability to get this cemented into her brain </3 Glad she at least was able to match names to faces so I'm at least showing her enough photos of them, but I will definitely start talking to her about Mechs lore more because she needs to know and understand it all.

I will still say that a success is convincing her and my mom to do matching Life360 photos with the most iconic sibling duo and their mother <3

#the mechanisms #the mechs #jonny dville #nastya rasputina #ashes o'reilly #ivy alexandria #drumbot brian #the toy soldier #gunpowder tim #marius von raum #raphaella la cognizi

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belit0 · 1 year ago

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Can I request a uchiha family like madara obito Itachi and the rest of them who have long names that I struggle to remember but can I request some head canons on how they would react to finding out that their s/o is like undertaker from black butle? That or their s/o having the biggest anger issues hehe

I am quick to anger

Like the other day my little brother was making weird sounds for like 5 seconds and I put a hole in the wall 😅

Sorry this was long

Have a good day or night

The "rest of them who have long names that I struggle to remember" broke my heart😭💔😭.

I didn't watch black butler, so I don't know who that character is, but I will work with the anger situation.

Indra

- Nope, not with him. He will be quick to put her in her place, and if he has to use violence to do so, he will have no problem. He doesn't need reactions from (Y/N), neither for her to think, act, or feel, just for her to be his wonderful, submissive wife. He won't have the best of reactions, and it will probably end very badly for her.

Madara

- I mean... relatable, but chill, girl. Madara also has a complicated temperament, short patience, and an inability to deal with bullshit, so he knows well how to handle someone just like him. He'll let her vent her anger, her rage, and help her calm down afterward. Expert in these things.

Izuna

- Boring. Izuna is a very calm person, even if he doesn't look like it. He likes to enjoy life and not have any problems, staying away from anything that does not suit his tastes. For dealing with explosive anger, he already has his older brother, he doesn't need more of that, and if so, he also has Tobirama.

Obito

- Confused. He doesn't think he deserves an outburst like that, nor to be the victim of (Y/N)'s anger, but he also went through something similar and can understand it. He won't like it one bit and will feel completely vulnerable about the situation, but he hopes he can talk it over with her once she calms down.

Shisui

- He doesn't have time for this. Shisui went through terrible problems, survived the worst, and yet still retains his cheerful and calm personality. He doesn't need negative influences in his circle, and if (Y/N) can't control herself, then he will say goodbye. He will have just enough patience for her, but will not put up with her unreasonable blowups.

Itachi

- He lets her deal with it alone. It may seem unfair or mean, but he believes it won't do any good to be around her when it happens, knowing her anger will be directed at him for no reason. He'd rather she calm down, take a breath, and then talk about it, understand what triggered her like that.

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sflow-er · 9 months ago

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To August anon 2

Sorry it's taken me so long to reply! I don't know if you'll even see this as I've decided not to risk the backlash of putting it on the main tag, but I hope you do.

[Earlier posts: August anon 1, August anon 2]

I want to curate the discussion a bit now that you've shifted part of the focus on Sara. I don't share your position of liking both her and August for being 'morally dark' people, and I fear it may be a bit jarring to any Sara fans reading this. So I've decided to screenshot your message and put it under the cut instead of replying directly.

We disagree on some fundamental things when it comes to August's and especially Sara's characterisation, and I doubt we're going to reach consensus. But that's okay! I'm just going to explain some parts of my POV below, and then we can agree to disagree. There are also a few areas where we seem to be getting our wires crossed (e.g. what we mean by 'understanding' the consequences) so I want to clear those up.

Most of this rambling essay was written before the S3 trailer came out, so I'm not focusing much on the glimpses we see of them in the trailer. But I am still using the spoiler tags just to be safe.

CW: negative take on Sara (but the anon actually likes her); couple of suicide mentions

Okay so... I'm going to start by clarifying a couple of things:

Understanding vs. understanding

Infantilising vs. taking young age into account

When I talk about August and the consequences, I'm not saying he lacks the intellect or analytical thinking to know/predict them. I'm saying he lacks the empathy and relevant frames of reference to understand them. I think we're just using the word 'understand' to mean different things - maybe internalise, empathise or relate would be a better choice for what I mean by it?

To revisit my previous example, August as an incredibly privileged member of the elite cannot understand i.e. relate to Simon's experience as someone whose ability to make his own reputation and get by on his own merit has been permanently affected by the video. As a very confidently straight man, he also cannot relate to Wille's experience as someone whose non-straight sexuality, a deeply personal and private thing that he wasn't even done figuring out, has suddenly been exposed to the world and potentially even some homophobic hate.

I'm not saying this to infantilise, defend, or excuse August. I'm saying it because to me, it partly explains why it's so easy for him to dismiss the harm to Simon and see his betrayal of Wille as just a matter of loyalty - the only moral code he knows - instead of something that would've been wrong no matter who the victim was. It's a thought pattern that stems from his upbringing and worldview, and it would have to be dismantled for him to feel proper remorse. Which I think would probably take professional help at this point.

(I agree with you that August would be extremely prejudiced against Boris. A glimpse of him googling therapy providers or booking an appointment for after graduation might feel more realistic to me - but I guess it depends on what the writers want to do with him. We already saw very quick progress with Wille in S2 so it's safe to say they can take some liberties.)

I still believe that August will lose his social status in S3, likely towards the end. But it's fair that you don't, and the trailer is certainly edited to support your position. If he retains his status, then you may be right about him remaining the same old asshole! If he does lose it, then my original point about him likely not being resilient enough to cope with the consequences still stands. He is very much the kind of person to whom suicide is the "proud" way out compared to the shame of losing everything.

Now, the age thing.

Respectfully, I think you may be ascribing too much meaning to August and Sara being of age in S2 (note that Sara was still 17 when she made the deal with August in S1). Eighteen is the age of legal adulthood, yes, but it doesn't make them fully grown and mature adults in the (neuro)biological, psychological or social sense.

[This feels like a good point to say that I am not going to try to account for Sara's neurodivergence here. I definitely don't have the insight, so if anything I've written below is in any way inaccurate or offensive to persons with AuDHD, please let me know!!]

Firstly, it's important to note that that the human brain matures gradually and unevenly. The prefrontal cortex i.e. the 'reasoning centre' only matures in the mid-to-late 20s, while parts that handle things like right/wrong, risk/reward, and emotional responses (e.g. the amygdala) mature earlier. This can cause teens and young adults to struggle with things like impulse control, assessing the long-term consequences of their actions, understanding others' emotions, and rational decision-making in situations that trigger a strong emotional response. Reason can get overtaken by emotion on a chemical level; sometimes the young person can't even fully explain afterwards why they did something they rationally knew was wrong all along.

[I don't think August was in a particularly analytical state of mind when he decided to post the video. He was an intelligent but emotionally unstable and empathically challenged 18-year-old who felt like he had nothing left to lose and the only moral code he knew (i.e. loyalty) was obsolete. He was also still stewing in the emotional turmoil of his humiliation and likely stuck in a negative feedback loop. It feels very plausible to me that he could be in a very bad place for a pretty long time and still function enough to plan his revenge (more on the revenge part below).]

Secondly, both August and Sara have also had some pretty traumatic experiences (Sara's bullying, August's dad's suicide, the influence of both their dads while they were still in their lives). These may have impacted their emotional and psychological development in various ways and created some thought patterns. Not to play arm-chair psychologist, but I don't think it's a coincidence August's decision to post the video is related to his family estate and legacy, while Sara's decision to make a deal with August is related to the threat of being sent back to Marieberg.

[This feels particularly relevant for Sara, whose bullying was brutal and long-term enough for her to have to repeat a year. The negative attention on Simon after the video probably seemed less severe in comparison, and also like a 'first incident' (in fact, she might have even felt like Linda was applying a different standard to Simon's ordeal compared to hers by immediately wanting to take them both out of Hillerska).]

[I vehemently disagree with Sara's idea that the damage to Simon was already done and it wouldn't have made a difference whether he knew who was responsible, but I think it matters to some extent that she didn't know the history between Simon and August. To her, the video probably seemed like something that was mostly between August and Wille. That idea was likely reinforced by August consistently dismissing Simon's side of it - and also by Simon seemingly moving on with Marcus and no longer being the talk of the school after Christmas. This kind of rationalisation may have even made Sara feel better about pursuing a relationship with August in S2.]

[I also think Sara probably felt like she had the right to be selfish after everything she'd been through. Simon's support during her bullying wasn't conditional; she didn't feel like she "owed him" any sacrifices. It was clearly Simon's idea to follow Sara to Hillerska, and she may have even felt like he was hovering a bit (I doubt S1E1 was her first time saying she was fine now and he didn't have to be there). Then, Simon started to keep secrets and even see Micke for reasons Sara didn't know, altering the terms of their relationship, while Sara was finally daring to dream of things she'd been denied for so long. Friends, a better future, even romance. To her, it felt extremely unfair to have to give all that up and go back to a school that was a nightmare to her but not to Simon. Especially when her and Simon's lives weren't as intertwined anymore and she finally felt like she was gaining some agency in her own.]

Thirdly (circling back to the point about maturity), it's good to keep in mind that both August and Sara are still in the high-school phase of life. A phase when most people are a bit selfish, and their past and current dramas and dreams for the future are everything to them. They haven't really acquired much experience or long-term perspective yet. So I really don't think we can call them that much more mature in the social sense than, say, Wilhelm and Simon. They are still messy teens living their messy teen lives, shaped by their upbringing and limited life experience, all the while thinking they are basically grown adults.

So am I saying all this to infantilise August and Sara and excuse their actions? I'm sure it sounds that way; hence, not putting this on the main tag.

But the way I see it, to infantilise them would be to say they weren't responsible for their actions or didn't know what they're doing. They are responsible, and they do know. All the factors laid out above (and also in my previous August posts) explain their reasoning and actions to some extent, but they do not excuse them. The fact still remains that they both applied their best judgment and deliberately chose to do the thing that they knew was wrong.

You're right that they took time to consider their decisions in S1, although I don't think we can know for sure exactly how long August takes. The timeline is a mess at that point; he is still at the Palace wearing the same outfit when the others make their statement, and I doubt he could've been there overnight. But he does take several hours in any case, and although he isn't thinking rationally at that point, he still knows what he's doing is wrong. In fact, he does it with the sole intention of hurting others, which makes it all the more reprehensible.

I just want to caution against labelling him as some evil, fundamentally unfeeling mastermind. He's just a very selfish and immature young man with a very warped view of the world, who needs to see some consequences for his own sake as much as his victims'. I think part of the reason we saw him turn so soft with Sara in S2 was to underline that he is capable of empathy and caring; it's just a matter of unlocking those emotions. They haven't exactly been nurtured growing up, so he is only applying them to the people he deems "worthy", instead of all his fellow human beings. That selective empathy is another thing he seriously needs to work on, alongside the lack of accountability.

As for Sara, she takes several days to consider what to do about the video, which makes her betrayal of Simon more severe. But as explained above, it's so much more nuanced than her not caring about him. (Or indeed her being some poor victim who didn't know what she was doing and fell in love with The Devil! Don't get me wrong, August definitely let her believe she was guiding him in a better direction, which may have even pushed some Micke buttons in her subconscious and/or memories of Simon's insistence that everyone deserves a second chance... But she still made her own decisions and is responsible for them.)

It's easy to forget that we do in fact see Sara aware that her actions are wrong even before the end of S2. She looks conflicted/unsure when she and August make out in S1E6, cries when Simon earnestly proclaims "I like you when you are you" and "I'm trying to be your friend again because I need you" after she has just betrayed him, and again looks conflicted when the siblings talk about loving the "wrong person" in S2E5. She did some very selfish things and hid them for much too long, yes, but I believe her regret is genuine. It will take some skilful writing to make her and Simon reconcile in a way that makes sense, doesn't feel rushed or reduce her to an archetype, and doesn't just magic away her leftover feelings for August (as those will probably take some time to clear out). But I do have faith it can be done.

So I think that just about covers what I wanted to say. This isn't a comprehensive essay by any means, and I'm sure it won't go down well with everyone. I also don't expect it to change your mind about these characters, anon, and that's okay!

I mostly just wanted to push back on the notion that Sara and August being 18 means all their bad decisions are now on par with bad decisions taken by fully grown adults and their character development is now set in stone. I highly doubt the show will end with them both proudly standing behind their poor choices - I can certainly see August doing that if he doesn't see any repercussions, but not Sara.

In any case, thank you for taking the time to explain your point of view on these characters, and sorry again for taking so long to respond!

#yr but doesn't need to go in the tag #august horn #sara eriksson #sargust #august horn of årnäs #august anon discourse #yr analysis #young royals spoilers #yr spoilers #young royals speculation #yr speculation #young royals season 3 #young royals season three #yr s3 #yrs3 #young royals season 3 spoilers #yr s3 spoilers #yrs3 spoilers #tw suicide mention

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