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demigodgooglesearches · 6 years ago

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"too young to be a 90s kid but close" (aka 00s kid) aesthetic:

-nyan cat, llams with hats

-owls. everybody loves owls--

-minecraft before the jungle biome. minecraft hunger game servers.

-slap bracelets

-long sleves under tank tops...jean skirts with... leggings.... dc shoes... shell shoes...

those 60 seconds multiplication tables. the big blocks with 100 squares, but the strips of ten squares, the single squares? also shape wooden blocks. yellow hexagons, green triangles, blue diamonds, youd make pictures with them.

-morning circle. playing 7 up at school. FOUR CORNERS

-u knew the cookout was lit when they had huggies those juice barrel drinks that u bite the top foil

-sillybands

-nintendogs on your grey ds plus cooking mama

-remembering vaguely having to use a cd player as a kid, then an mp3, than an ipod-

-zebra. print. everything.

-japanese erasers

-duct tape purses

-the justin bieber sounds like a girl debate

-yo danny phantom hE wAS JUST 14

-shark boy and lava girl. sky high. stewart little. minutemen. halloweentown. the thirteenth year (mermaid). smart house. spy kids. twitches. princess protection program (bonus points if you watched it live and counted how many times they said princess). lemonade mouth.

-staying up late enough to see george lopez start to play

- "mom how do you spell cartoonnetwork whats the website"

- that weird fosters home for imaginary friends mmo

- fucking TOONTOWN

- "disney!! three six five!!!!!"

- microsoft paint created MASTERPIECES

- was... was kidpix a thing

-bill nye the science guy and liberty kids

-alvin and the chipmunks covers.

- school store! get me a pencil grip for a quarter.

-crimp your hair bitch... or straighten it. or clip in feathers. or strands of dye-

-bakugan and tech decks

-wheezers 'beverly hills' on the playground. we will rock you on the bus.

-camp rock. highschool musical. epic disney crossovers.

-if you didnt have a blog on blogspot.com you weren't shit (with the extension where you could feed the fish)

-lisa frank folders or those folders with close up of dogs and cat faces

-having to learn the fucking recorder. hot crossed buns... hOt croSssED BUNS,,,,

-did anyone play that weird wizard typing quest

-SMENCILS

-clUb PENGUIN. wizard 101. pirates of the carribean online. webkinz.

-everything is not what it seems when u can get all you wanted in ur wildest dreams

-popular snacks at snack time,,,: gritz, gogurt, fruit roll ups tongue tattoos, zebra cakes, cheese dip crackers, those cookie crackers where u took the red stick and spread it... gushers

-in the wee hours of the night you could hear... hear the chia pets taunting you

-orbeez. monster gummies. hotwheels beat that. fur real friends. pillow pets. littlest pet shop. yugioh. bop it. floam. tamagotchis.

-iDog

-HAVING THE KICKASS SCOOTER THENN KNOCKING UR FUCKING KNEES OFF WITH IT FUCK THAT SHIT

- "HERE I AM IN UR LIFE... HERE U ARE IN MINE... YEAH WE GOT THE SWEET LIFE... MOSTT OF THE TIME"

-underdog. undeRDOG. UNDERDOG!

-when you were playing on the ps2 and u fucking lost the fucking MEMORY CARD

-SPYRO

-playing gta the one where the guy wears the blue shirt (liberty city? ) with the sound off... memorizing cheat codes... square circle square-

-the fucking wii... making miis for literally everyone in ur class and sending the ones you didnt like to the parade

-slap slap slap... clap clap clap... SLAP SLAP SLAP.... CLAP CLAP CLAP (i.e 3... 2... 1... BLAST OFF from here to the stars,)

-when the teacher rolled out the elmo projector and those transparent plastic papers

-megan, MEGAN! (i.e i ran over oprah.....)

-the dell computers took over

-bruh message me on msn... then skype

-making a facebook page. liking all the fucking dumb facebook pages you could

-pokemon

-Z̵͖͂Ô̶̘Ö̴͔́. ̵͉͊Z̷̭̊O̷̻͒Ô̸̟ ̴̛̞Z̸̭̕Ȏ̸̗O̴͎̊ ̴̡͑. P̵̧̈Ȃ̷͖L̴̞̚S̶̰̐

-okay those weird ass beads u always got for Christmas that you had to iron to make shapes

-the fortune tellers... pick a color... blue? okay b-l-u-e. OK now pick a number... ok ur gonna marry lindsay lohan and have 80 kids

-WHAT YHR FUCK ARE THOSE GHOST THEMED CEREALS CALLED??? BOOBERRY??? AH SHIT

-team edward vs team jacob determined your survival

-thE yEar tHree THOusAnD

-black eyed peas

-fucking angry birds and flappy bird murdered everyone

-HEELYS OH DEAR GOD HEELYS I ALMOST FELL AND SLIPPED INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION

-that rabits game... let them go to the moon

-THE PS2 SOUND UP NOISE. THE DOOOOOOOSH

-every dvd had that coming soon bullshit

-stealing ur cousins gameboy

-Sugar. Spice. And everything nice.

-that fucking monkey at some of some fucking tv shows what the fuck was that fucking- hi im paul,,

-asdf videos! (desmond the moon bear.. i like trians)

-if you didnt flip ur shit everytime u saw a yellow car and yell BUMBLEBEE

-when the phone rings in school "THE PHONE... THE PHONE IS RI N G ING"

-"WAZZZZUUPPP!!" "WHAZZAAAAHHP!!"

-kidz bop. wholet the dogs out... who who? who?

-We all want to forget .... annoying orange and fred but god wont let us..

-MY SHINY Teeth and ME.

-that weird ass spongebob half time episode where theyre in the dome... or the spongebob episode with wormy... or the spongebob episode with the hooks (dont touch the hooks) or david hasslehof in the spongebob movie...

-invader zim

-FLAPJACK THAT FUCKING NIGHTMARE SHOW. And chowder. Coraline gave me NIGHTMARES fuck!

- I LIke to move it move it...

-POPTROPICA

-where the sidewalk ends from the school library... with goosebumps and diary of a whimpy kid.. BOOK FAIRS

-leapfrog

-THOSE GYM SCOOTERS. FOUR SQUARE. KICKBALL. THE PARACHUTE THING.

-no one knew how to use a fucking green screen

-🎶 we the peoplee... in order to form a more perfect union...🎶 conjunction junction whats ur function 🎶 puff the magic dragon 🎶

THERES A HUNDRED AND FOUR DAYS OF SUMMER VACATION-

the original teen titans

teach me how to dougie. soldier boy. the hoedown throwdown. the hannah montana movie 3d they were giving 3d glasses away literally in walmart

bILLY MAYS AND SHAMWOW

#the bullshit 60 second math tables #2000s #nostalgia #00s kids will remember #fuck #this took forever #kms #i can do more #diary of a whimpy kid

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fmdjoosungarchive · 3 years ago

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restructuring task 1

+5 tracker points

1. assuming your muse has changed in some way, be it internally or as a result of a change of the external factors around them, how is your muse different? these can be as small as an opinion on a song they hadn’t released previously or as big as a major change in their background.

wc: 365

idk if i’ve said this on dash yet, but i’m treating new famed more or less like an au. in sung’s au, the defining change is that he was let go from gold star when he had his injury as a trainee. it was always my headcanon that they truly were close to cutting him loose anyway, so this is just the other side of that. he had his injury, got plastic surgery to try to appease them into keeping him, and they still let him go. when he went home his parents said alright u tried that now join the fam business n sung freaked bc he realized he doesnt want that for himself so he went to do smth he also hated, and joined the military. while there he still worked on his dance and vocals whenever he had a moment to do so, so that when he was discharged and started auditioning again, he wasn’t so rusty

he is a year younger in this world, just bc of quantum’s age range, not for any other reason. makes him a little less of a cradle robber in his relationship lol which, another change is that daisuke wouldn’t have been his first kiss, just first everything else

quantum is very different from old element and new element, but it’s very in line with what i liked about quicksilver (& has models from that) and he’s a leader! this is an idea ive toyed with a lot over the last three years tbh. at first i didn’t think sung suited a leader position, but he came to show me he’s just a different kind of leader. i liken him to jinki often in this regard. rather than lassoing members in, he supports them being however they are, and takes an intimate/emotional path to gaining their trust and leading them. and while he wasn’t suited for the full business life, what he learned from his father’s teachings helps him in dealing with the company as the group’s representative there (& he loves a good powerpoint presentation)

other timeline stuff for big events in his life are likely to shift but i’m not sure on specifics yet

2. what does your muse think of their company and their group?

wc: 260

as the child of a businessman, he’s never under the illusion that as a company entity, their first priority is their wellbeing. he knows that they are products, and that they’re treated as such. it’s a bit heavier with dimensions than gold star, since gold star makes a more active effort to pretend they care. however, once having accepted that, sung thinks himself and dimensions work well together. he does feel that for a company, they allow himself and his members to be a part of the creative process, as says their motto. he feels much more encouraged to write songs and choreograph under dimensions than he did under gold star, where it felt like he was constantly on his knees begging for the company to take him seriously

as for quantum, sung really loves what they’re about. he’s not a big fan of all (or most) of their songs, though he’s more loving towards a song written by another member even if it’s the same sound he dislikes, but he absolutely loves being focused on performance and concepts. his creative mind works very much on the basis of story and emotion that comes with it, and he feels like quantum’s concepts sometimes to often lean into his tastes. he’s always been a dancer first and foremost (god am i so glad to have his main dancer title back i MISSED u) so focusing on performance is v much up his alley, and his preferred style of dance is through storytelling. he feels the heart of dance is in that

3. is your muse on their first contract or their second? if they’ve renewed, what were their feelings around that at the time and what were their hopes for their second contract? if they haven’t renewed, what are their current thoughts on the end of their eventual first contract?

wc: 281

quantum’s on their first contract still, up for renewal in 2024. at the current moment, he would like to re-sign. however, unlike my others, his re-signing depends more heavily on the other members. if they were unhappy and wanted to leave, sung would want to follow suit, not because he can’t make his own decisions, but because if the reason the members want to leave is because of the company, not quantum, he’d want to try to help quantum continue to live. if that means all of the members leaving in order to rebrand under another company, so be it. he’d like to avoid lineup changes however he can, and ideally would like to be an idol for as long as possible

he himself feels alright about his treatment. he feels creatively stimulated, and appreciated for talents further than his face. if he were to try to negotiate different terms at their contract renewal, part of it would likely be wanting to give members a higher share of profits, especially on releases they’re creatively involved in. sung personally has no use for excessive money, but not all of his members have his background, and he feels more than just the money, it’s what’s fair. he’d also prefer to allow for more creative freedom. as a 7/8 year group by then, he’d think they should be allowed to take the reigns more heavily. and on his personal side of things, he would want dimensions to be more mindful of his schedule. sung enjoys working, but he’s only one person, who doesn’t want to be overworked. these are all just his current thoughts, though, and will probably change before contract renewal comes up

4. what are your muse’s goals and motivations?

wc: 294

his motivations to be ‘successful’ and/or achieve his goals are his family, namely being someone his nephew and niece can be proud of, and someone his parents can feel was worth letting go of. he feels closer to the latter than he did in old famed. his members motivate him to be a good leader, his desire to grow as a creator motivates him to write and choreograph

specific goals could be bigger like his desire for more public recognition. while quantum has a lot more recognition both in korea and abroad than element or quicksilver, sung wants the best for his group. he’d be happy if they stayed where they are with their loyal fandom, but he still aims for more

sung also wants to get better at standing up for himself. he’s best at standing up for others, because he can slap on a bit of bravado in order to help them out, but when it comes to himself, especially with his parents, he’s pretty awful at it

he’d also like to create more for quantum, and others. i/he have a goal for him to write a whole album for someone, so if anyone reads this far and could want sung writing for their muse, hit me up!

he’d like to get married and have children one day. that’s always been a dream of his, and while he knows his career doesn’t allow for that soon, it’s still on his docket

he wants to spend more time with his family, especially his nephew and niece. they’re so new to the world and learning everything, and sung wants to be a part of that. he doesnt want his part in their early lives to be ‘i don’t really remember seeing him back then’

5. what is one conflict, internal or external, that your muse is currently dealing with, has recently dealt with, or will need to deal with in the future?

wc: 291

at some point, this bitch is gonna have to admit he’s a homiesexual. in his previous version, it was a lot easier for him to ‘i pretend i do not see it’ when it came to that. sung’s very ignorant when it comes to the queer community in korea, so he’s not even really aware of terms beyond gay, maybe trans. but, terms aside, he always thought he was someone who liked women, and daisuke and a couple of others were just outliers. they were the Special ones outside of his jurisdiction that were just too good for him to not notice. aka he believed he was bi. and now, he still does, but i have less faith he’ll be able to hold that up until he dies like i did before, because he’s actually dated at least one woman before in this world. considering the plot has yet to be picked up, i don’t know the specifics, but i do think it’s harder to run away from when the way he treated a relationship with a woman and a relationship with a man were lightyears away from one another. it’s still possible for him to run away from the truth of the situation, but it’s also very possible that one day, his thoughts on it will shake, and everything will click into place (messily,, probably the messiest clicking ever) it would be a difficult thing for him to come to terms with, though i think it’s better for him in the longterm to truly know who he is, and why he acts the way he does, why he feels the way he does about women vs men. it’s also nice just to not live a lie, even if only privately

6. if your muse has established career claims, what are their thoughts on their career so far? if they do not, how do they feel about not having individual activities yet? what would they like to do in the future, if anything? if they don’t have ambitions for individual activities, explain why.

wc: 523

sung has a pretty filled history of individual activities. most are points claims with a focus on modelling, his radio, and music, though he’s dipped into pretty much ever facet of idoldom, some with more success than others. his ecp expenditures flesh that out a little more, and add a bit more realism, and/or make sense of the group changes. he had a one year modelling contract with the north face, and while official claims aren’t possible, i was inspired by a couple of things rowoon did with them. there was more of a push on an eco-friendly side of things, and there was a bit of dancing. playing into his group position with dancing i feel is fitting, but the eco friendly part i also feel could round out his image more as a good, kind boy who also can be sexy, whereas before, his earlier modelling claims focused a lot more on the sexy aspect, because it fit element and his trajectory there better. here, it makes him more dual sided from the beginning. north face is also just a nice, strong brand that i think is fitting for a pretty boi. i set it a bit after a year out from debut because i feel like that’s the most realistic, especially for a group like quantum that grew audience with each comeback

part of that first year being focusing only on the group ties into his creative claims as well! his first creative claim was with the bside love, lalala on the eternity ep. the nicest part of creative claims being unattached to positions is that all of sung’s claims are the songs in the discography most Him. so love lalala is very jazzy and smooth, and would have served as his first introduction to songwriting, as well as what made him interested in songwriting. then he was a choreographer on error, which is heavily story based, and about the members being a unit, and making beautiful pictures together. i hope to snag intro long journey and outro long journey from the beginning and end of the ateez sector, because they’re beautiful compositions that fit sung’s style, but also having him on both makes him feel like he’s a part of the concept’s creation in an intimate way, which fits with dms. then there’s aurora, which sung partially composed and partially choreographed. the choreography has contemporary flair to it, and the song is a flowing sound that matches that. then there’s partial production on sunrise, which i just love the robotic ass experimental production there, and comp for with u, which i believe ties back into sung’s rediscovering his love of piano. choreo for valkyrie is most similar to error in it’s pretty pictures way, and also has a bit of complex footwork, especially as its point dance, which is also p sung to want to include. and finally, some comp on stand by, which is like a mix of the appeal of aurora and with u methinks? listening to all of his written songs together i feel like really makes a picture of sung’s songwriting so i love that

#famedrstask1 #and the last q was me trying to keep it brief....... lol

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mc-doppomine · 4 years ago

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My Ranking of Matenrou Songs

All done in good fun and is just my silly opinion. Music is totally subjective and what I find to like may not be what you come to like. So take everything with a handful of salt. Includes all of their album songs. I’m not including the battles as that’s probably deserving its own listing. Will throw Wrap & Rap and Lesson in there for fun too.

Overall, I think Matenrou is sort of hit or ‘eh, it’s fine’ for me. It’s either such a bop, that’s all I’m listening to for weeks. Or it’s one that I might go seek out either for researching purposes or it’s just specific mood. No real in between. And that’s probably because of the major differences in their members. It’s clear they were formed because of Jakurai’s eccentricity and fondness of it. And with any of the crews, I tend to like the team ones. I just like hearing different voices coming together. Especially when theirs is made to sound nice together. So yeah.

13) Welcome U - It just didn’t feel like a Matenrou song for me. I’m sorry! I have no idea what Matenrou songs are but this just wasn’t it for me. I just didn’t vibe with it. Which is weird considering this was the first major song of Matenrou and technically my first since I did do the anime series first. But let’s put it like this, I can literally remember every other thing of the entire episode that featured this song...besides the song. Everything. But. The. Music. Of a series where the music is the focus. That’s not good. But to be fair, I more or less like one song from each team from the anime and Welcome U was not it for Matenrou.

12) Papillon - Mmm, I dunno. I like the song in theory since it is very much them just kicking back and that’s cute. In practice? I don’t know how it didn’t click for me. I don’t think it was because of the talking because that was done in Ohayo Ikebukuro and I like that one. And I do find it fun as it absolutely sounds like them talking in the car. Maybe it’s just which styles blended together? I really can’t place why I do not like this one as much. Don’t hate it, don’t love it.

11) Champagne Gold - I know! I know! I don’t know how we came to this considering I like Hifumi over Jakurai. But I just couldn’t get into this one! Maybe it was at a disadvantage because it was such a stark contrast with the others on the album. I have no idea. I do know I was a little put off by call back since it really just sounded like him in a higher pitch...which is fine but I’m pretty sure they just used a girl’s voice in an earlier part of the song and I just don’t get why didn’t use something like that for the call back. And too many champagnes. I am concerned for your liver, Hifumi.

10) The Champion - Poor frickin’ Hifumi. I’m sure he had to despair when he was looking through the verses of his teammates. Like do you guys know how to write a victory song??? Which is a shame because Hifumi’s verse and style was so suited for this sound. I honestly I don’t think it was the the verses so much as the chorus though? I know their voices generally sound deeper than most of the other divisions but felt like worked against them in this song.

9) Lesson - And I think this is the last of my ‘I probably wouldn’t look it up too often’ songs on this list. I honestly thought Ramuda took the show in this one but I mean it kinda makes sense since this was him teaching Jakurai and of course Jakurai is gonna sound clumsier than him. I find this one really cute. It also was fun listening to how the beat switched up for every lesson. I think it’s only lower because I don’t have a way to listen to it consistently. But I do think of Jakurai actually ‘putting up his white flag’ to Ramuda and Ramuda able to point out Jakurai’s strengths was also super cute and also super sad thinking about what came after this.

8) Party wo Tomenaide and You Are, Therefore I Am - Yes, I had a tie. Mainly because they have the same reasoning for being here. And that’s that they both have tripped me into their arms and not let me go. I wasn’t too into them before but both of them have grown on me. Ah, I think Party wo Tomenaide’s lyrics just ends up attacking my feels and it’s one of those pop songs that are actually sad and I don’t know, somehow that’s a subset of my music tastes. Meanwhile I wasn’t into the ‘being taken to church’ songs that are usual in hip-hop genre but I was really surprised by the content of the lyrics and it honestly sounds like Jakurai’s happy in this one.

7) Fallin’ - This may have a slight edge just because I just think of that entire frickin’ episode when I listen to that song. And I dunno, anyone else feel like this was like them testing out if Matenrou could do the pace for what would be Tomoshibi? That’s what I feel like with that one.

6) Labyrinth Wall - I feel like not a lot of people like this song. And I mean, I guess if I had think about the lyrics for a long time, I probably would be like ‘you okay over there Jakurai?’ But I dunno, the pace and the off-vocals? Banger. That swell into his chorus? Absolutely fucking great. Naaa...! Shindara doko ni--I chose this over frickin’ Tigridia for my ringtone for that part.

5) Tigridia - I originally had loved Tigridia first and that’s mainly because it was the first song I was listening to that used Doppo’s ‘natural’ voice all the way through. He has a nice voice! The sax is hella sexy in the background. Nice little bit of jazz. I’m surprised this wasn’t my friend’s favorite track tbh. But it eventually got beat out as my knowledge of hypmic grew.

4) Wrap & Rap - Look. Look you can judge me all you want but this is one of those songs that could be played while I’m at some of my worst and I can’t help but smile at it. It’s my Sugar Song and Bitter Step. It’s a dose of seretonin and has to be parsed out because I have to go looking for this song if I wanna listen to it.

3) Black or White - Yeah yeah, go ahead. Be unsurprised that my fave is at the top of the solos. But to be fair, I fell in love with Doppo’s verses and songs before I fell for him. Black and white ended up a hit for me with its vibe (although I admit I found a cover first and only realized when I going back through songs). When I learned the lyrics, I can’t help but smile and feel those words in my bones of miserable workdom. It makes my terrible shifts bearable.

2) Tomoshibi - I get so emotional over this song still. And it’s just. So. Vulnerable. I don’t know how to describe the feeling I get of actually thinking about the lyrics. And then just the music itself. It’s like a drive in the evening or early morning as it starts raining (I actually do often listen to this song on my morning drives). I’m never gonna stop getting got by the interjections of their teammates within their verses and how their tone changes after being picked up by that person. I can’t even with that--! It isn’t so slow it’s ballad-y but it’s not a dance thing. Which may be why it is just below my number 1.

1) Shinjuku Style ~ Don’t Make Us Laugh ~ - If it hasn’t occurred to y’all by now, I’m a being in love with vibe of let’s fuck shit up and being a bad bitch. And that’s all I got from this song. Like how no one heard this song and didn’t go for the throat with these bastards is anyone’s guess. Especially since that Hifumi’s best diss verse and he chose VIOLENCE. And they just? Had such strong boss energy??? I don’t know how to put it! I love the mania of Doppo’s verse and also I continually laugh because he and Jakurai literally call Doppo and Hifumi some psychopaths. Like you wouldn’t think that dealing with them. Then you meet them on the battleground and you know it’s not an idle threat. This is one of those songs that if I had to get pulled over, let it be while I’m peeling down the highway to this.

#song thoughts #matenrou

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sheismyteacher · 4 years ago

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hi loves,

im pretty sure ive alr done all old monthly challenges that used to be on here in 2017/2018 including my own lol but @baeby-tc made a new one and its once again 2am and im missing her so heres summ facts u might not know yet!!!

1. describe your tc’s physical appearance.

shes about my height so 5'7, she has a blonde pixie cut and bright blue eyes, n freckles!! and shes super skinny

2. what was the first thing you’ve ever said to your tc?

probably hi?? i honestly dont remember much from our first class

3. is your tc single or taken? or are you unsure? and are you single or taken?

single!! and im taken lol ive been dating my gf for a year n 11 months

4. is your tc more of the athletic type, the nerdy type or the artsy type?

nerdy looool

5. if you and your tc were in high school together, do you think you’d be friends?

honestly idk? we very well could have been because we were both kinda alt (me leaning towards goth, her leaning towards punk) but also both insanely private introverts lmfsjshhd so we might not even have approached each other

6. name one song that reminds you of your tc and explain why that song reminds you of them.

savannah by lp hehee we're both lp stans but she got me into her music and the first song we talked abt was savannah

7. is your tc fashionable or are they more of the simple type? what is one outfit you’d love to see them wear?

oh girl... 💀💀 i love her w my whole heart but if i see one more silver glimmery cardigan i might lose my mind. id love to see her in jeans and a crop top but shed Never so honestly i'll take anything that's not... horrible

8. would you be willing to become a teacher and teach your tc’s subject if it meant you two could be together?

haha funny cause... that's literally what im doing... going into my second year of uni... going to do my internship with her this year... ummmmmm.....

9. does your tc drink or smoke?

no!!!

10. name one item that is always on your tc’s desk.

her planner loool shes super organized

11. has your tc ever done anything that has either thrown you off, annoyed you, angered you or bothered you in any way? if so, what did they do?

yea i think I've only been pissed at her once?? i was really struggling with a situation and usually when i rant to her she fucks around and makes jokes n all and im fine with it i dont take myself that seriously but this time i was genuinely rly upset and she didnt rly notice i guess although i alr lowkey told her to stop n she kept making dumbass jokes so i was like "this is genuinely not funny like im being serious for once" and she did apologize which i appreciate but i genuinely think that's the only time ive been upset with her! and shes said things before that other people would see as shocking but has always apologised even when not necessary shes super respectful

12. does your tc have any past jobs that you know of, before becoming a teacher?

no actually!! she probably had a job in hs/uni??? but weve never talked abt that wow mayb i should ask her sometime

13. does your tc have kids or siblings? if so, how many?

both! she has one younger sister and two sons!

14. are you taking your tc’s class next year?

as i said ive graduated but im acc gonna b an english teacher as well now and imma do my 2nd yr internship w her!!!

15. has your tc ever met your parents? if you were there, what was the meeting like?

yes PLSJSJDJDJD at my school musical... and it was lowkey awkward cause i told her all abt how my father is lowkey terrifying so she was cautious as hell 😭😭

16. has your tc ever given you detention? if so, what was it like?

naw i never have her a reason to

17. has your tc ever failed you? if so, how did you react? if not, how would you react?

noo english has always been my best subject so she never had to.. but if she did i probably messed it up!! shes fair

18. what are your tc’s hobbies/interests? are they similar to yours?

help shes a dancer and i hate dancing w my entire heart so umm.. no

19. have you ever spoken on the phone with your tc? what did you talk about?

never actually!! we've texted so often but never called?? except if u count the time she (or her son?) called me on accident for about 6 seconds jdjdhd ion think she even knows that happened, i hung up and forgot to mention it again)

20. if you had your tc’s class during quarantine, what were your zoom calls like? if not, have you spoken to your tc since quarantine?

we've texted, but not as much as we used to and it's making me SAD but i feel like we just dont have a lot to say to each other

21. if you had the chance to go anywhere in the world with your tc, where would you go? what would you do?

she loves switzerland so let's go

22. does your tc have any nicknames for you?

she shortens my name sometimes heheh i loooove when people do that

23. have you ever cried in front of your tc? why? how did they react?

no, i don't cry that often, and ESPECIALLY not in public

24. have you ever walked/drove to/from school with your tc?

yeah we cycled together a few times! but usually were off on different times

25. do you know which teachers your tc is friends with at school? if so, do you like those teachers?

yea theres a couple she likes but shes not rlly *friends* with anyone, but we have the same opinions on most teachers

26. what does your tc’s voice sound like?

it's very soft, and not in volume but in vibes? and she has pretty sharp t's and her r's roll a little hehe

27. do you like your tc as a teacher? are they a good teacher?

oh yes 100%

28. does your tc prefer books, shows or movies?

im gonna go ahead and assume books, but she does have netflix as well

29. is your tc stern or easy going, in class?

pretty stern? i know a couple of people are lowkey scared of her but like shes not awful she just makes sure the class gets shit done

30. how would you describe you and your tc’s relationship?

like a friendship! i asked her abt it once (ages ago) and she said that she was tryna figure out how she felt abt me when it came to labels like 'friend' cause im also her ex student etc so she didn't rly wanna call me that yet?? but i think if we keep talking we'll get there. we trust each other immensely

31. do you address your tc by their first or last name?

firsttt since march 27th 2017 😌

#mine #tc #tcc #teacher crush #female tc #female teacher crush #teacher crush community #question tc #question tag #tc challenge #july challenge #facts #????

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cherr-e · 4 years ago

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𝗢𝗟𝗜𝗬𝗢𝗡𝗚 and their dynamics

hello! welcome back to cherry fawns over her two children, who she must protect with all her heart, in this episode we will be discussing OLIYONG. aka the softest duo of animal crossing nerds, one who tries and acts tough yet always fails at the sight of his tinier and softer boyfriend. their NSFW dynamics will be under ‘keep reading’ so any of the horny people can have a look down there....let us begin!

best songs to depict their relationship

sfw: one | two | three [honestly n.o 3 is the best] nsfw: one | two | three

the beginning of their relationship, the best meme to show their emotions is the “you lost homie?” “lost in ur eyes foo” [this is literally a summary of 3am]

theyre so cute and giddy sometimes, their friends are confused at how mushy and corny they get...however they act more like they despise each other, similar to a tom and jerry relationship

taeyong’s fans often sight oli with him shopping at designer places in the upper end of seoul, oliver spoiling him with designer is something he is Very proud of

oliver loves being little spoon, and the two struggle to share positions when cuddling...so the person who is most tired that day - deserves the little spoon position. he absolutely adores it when taeyong plays with his hair, it lulls him to sleep...

playing animal crossing is considered a date, esp when the quarantine started in korea - although taeyong was prepping for the punch comeback, he still spent loads of time on his switch playing with his bf while they tormented the villagers they dislike and oliver greeting taeyong onto his island with a sign that says “whore” on it

them vibing to K.K.’s house (and bubblegum by my main bitch isabelle) like it’s a personality trait, they act more like kids than bfs

“ay thROW IT BACK”

when they were trainees, oliver tricked taeyong into learning british swear words and lets just say taeyong smacked the living shit out of him when he found out

laughter is frequent in the oliyong house

their dates consist of staying inside, and when they do go out its to a restaurant or small business - but the cutest dates of all are the simple late evenings where taeyong doesn’t have that much of a tight schedule and they’re chilling in the aesthetic cat cafes in korea

oliver wants to adopt a cat with taeyong but taeyong is a dog man >:(

when taeyong is sad, oli must feed him with as much snacks as possible

softest shit is when theyre about to head to sleep and oli has a habit of saying “love u” while kissing his bf’s forehead like he is his baby. this is when taeyong is the small spoon, he’s just so tiny and fits perfectly in oliver’s arms

the studio is their first home and then it’s oli’s loft or taeyong’s dorm room - theyre hardworking boys who dedicate their love to music

when really bored, they make tiktoks together

when taeyong told oliver he’d be joining superm, it was oli’s job to teach him as much english as he can

oliver really is taeyong’s mentor despite being 2 years older

oliver’s corny romantic side really wants to gift taeyong an accessory where it solidifies their relationship - kind of like a promise ring or necklace

rather than being romantic dofooses (they save that to late nights) they really are just idiots that find something to cry laugh at for 10 mins straight

each other’s hypemen, every nct 127 comeback oliver posts stories where he’s streaming or watching their comeback stages. he often makes fun of taeyong’s face when paused at an awkward angle

always in each other’s arms, they love doing this when at home - taeyong would come out of the shower while oli is watching some korean variety show on tv...somehow the younger would find space on his lap or next to him

“you’re gonna wanna be my best friend baby”

“hyung we’re dating”

“...”

OLIVER HAS THE CUTEST NICKNAMES FOR HIS BOYFRIEND

“baby come here nOeW” “tyong” “yong (dragon in korean)” “tîi rák (dear/darling in thai)” “love” “idiot” corny boy i swear

he promises he’s the tougher one...LIES

tae really loves oliver’s family so much and has long conversations with them on facetime calls, despite oli being who they originally called for

NSFW below the cut!

so welcome to sin-mania where we explore OLIYONG’s sex lives, enjoy sinning and sex is something that should be consensual between two! don’t forget, and never forget to tell what ur likes n dislikes are during sex! remember to stay safe xoxo

when they first started their sexual endeavours, oliver was on the more vanilla side. didn’t mean he had his fair share of kinks, but he wanted to go soft on taeyong as he was experiencing sex with a man for the first time (oliver was taeyong’s firsts in many things, kiss, love, sexual partner, idiot etc.)

oliver had his experiences before meeting taeyong, he had a boyfriend called nathan when he was 19-21 and man that guy had a high sex drive

but oliver did enjoy majority of the shit they done - and that’s when he formulated his kinks

cigarettes after sex must be playing when they fucking! or zayn

anyways back to their lives, oliver overheard a conversation taeyong had with one of his close friends about how he struggles to get oliver to please him more in sex - if u haven’t seen taeyong’s sexual fantasies in whiplash or baby don’t like it....you won’t understand what he’s on about

anyways after hearing about taeyong’s hard kinks, oliver ordered a collar which had a rattle in it. it was black with a silver bell that had a rattle inside which made noise

after experiencing that collar in sex, the list began to grow...so let’s go

oliver likes praising taeyong a lot (good boy), he’s a soft dom with the tendency to slightly tease his sub, and taeyong is all for it.

taeyong likes when oliver takes his time in foreplay, prepping him up for his dick etc, he’s very putty in oliver’s hands

he melts and just his whole being is encased in pleasure

when oliver and taeyong are both in the mood, they like going rough and taeyong is a sucker for when he’s insulted and punished, but oliver instantly feels bad afterwards and smothers him in many kisses and sweet sweet aftercare (he turns into the puppy eyes emoji)

once oliver admitted that he used to have a lot of sex while high during his university days, he smoked weed often with his exes and taeyong was intrigued by the idea....oliver said that he loved for him to join but he doesn’t want his bf to experience being a hard stoner and getting in trouble with k-nets

but the idea has been floating in their minds for a while

some days, instead of kinky sex - they do prefer soft vanilla sex, oliver really spoils his baby den

aftercare is so soft and endearing

they do be best boys

let me know if you would like more OLIYONG dynamics, cause this ain’t half of it!

#kumokocnet #kpop oc #oliyong #oc kpop idol #idol oc #idol au #kpop scenarios #kpop smut #kpop fluff #taeyong #lee taeyong #taeyong fluff #taeyong smut #lee taeyong fluff #lee taeyong smut #kpop au #original kpop idol

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atlasfms · 5 years ago

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ok ok my lazy ass finaLLY decided to be productive so here’s an updated atlas intro which is probably mostly the same except a few lil deets & an fc & vc change ! ( 😈 ) but hennywa YS hey angels , i’m lina & this is atlas ! i’ve been writing this pain in the backside for almost two years now so if u would like to plot w him pl s like this & i will come to u , or hit up my discord 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐟𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫#0369 !

new york’s very own 𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐫𝐨 was spotted on broadway street in 𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐣𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐧 𝟏𝐬 . your resemblance to 𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒈𝒊𝒐 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒂𝒋𝒂𝒍 is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 - 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐝 birthday bash . while living in nyc , you’ve been labeled as being 𝒉𝒆𝒆𝒅𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔 , but also 𝒃𝒆𝒈𝒖𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 . i guess being a sagittarius explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be 𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐠𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐬 , 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬 , 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬 . & ( cismale & he / him ) + ( 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒂 , 𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒚 - 𝒐𝒏𝒆 , 𝒔𝒉𝒆 / 𝒉𝒆𝒓 , 𝒈𝒎𝒕 . )

TRIGGERS : DRUG OVERDOSE , DEATH & CANCER .

: // 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒 .

NAME : atlas ( to carry ) nathaniel ( gift of god ) arthur ( noble ; courageous ) deniro ( notably people with dark or black hair ) .

NICKNAMES : ace , atty , pain in the ass .

AGE : twenty - three .

BIRTHDAY : december third .

ZODIAC : sagittarius .

GENDER : male .

PRONOUNS : he & him .

NATIONALITY : american .

ETHNICITY : english , italian .

LABEL(S) : the jocular , the libertine , the lothario .

OCCUPATION : model , singer , socialite .

NETWORTH : 50 mill

PROS ; athletic , challenging , charming , curious , daring , debonair , faithful , forthright , fun - loving , humourous , invulnerable , passionate , perserverant , playful , protective , sociable , spontaneous , witty .

CONS : abrasive , arrogant , blunt , careless , clumsy , compulsive , conceited , deceitful , destructive , devious , disobedient , egocentric , greedy , ignorant , meddlesome , narcissistic , obnoxious , provocative , reckless , troublesome , unstable , vindictive .

: // 𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 .

aldo nathaniel arthur deniro was destined for greatness . everyone knew it ; hell , even the biggest ceo’s in new york were shaking in their boots at the thought of what this young man was capable of . he was a dead - ringer for his father , with his light hair & bright blue eyes , he had looks , charms , & a good head on his shoulders . & like his father , he knew what he wanted the family business . but first , he had to go to college . & only ivy league would do for the son of one of the world’s richest ceo’s .

columbia university was highly prestigious , private , & the fifth chartered institution of higher learning in the united states . besides , it’s business school was one of the oldest in the world , so what more could the future owner of the family company want ? in this instance , a girlfriend , but he didn’t know it yet . when nathaniel met scarlett baccouche , daughter of two british politicians , they didn’t exactly get off with the best start they hated each other , in fact . but what was once hate turned into an epic love story & after they graduated , they got married . not long after that , they had the twins .

the twins were stunning , born five minutes apart & kept in an incubator for a matter hours . everyone celebrated ; the family , friends , even supporters of the notorious family . his hair was fair & there were arguments over whether his eyes were his mother’s or his father’s . but since he was born , the main question was whether he’d follow in his father’s footsteps or his mother’s . would he give the family company a modern twist ? would he be this generation’s brad pitt & be the star of hit blockbusters in upcoming years ? people were excited , even more so when they had another baby , but atlas wasn’t . he was nowhere near it .

the deniro household had it’s challenges . they seemed like the perfect family unit , & perhaps they were , but aldo & scarlett had other ideas . they were quite strict in raising their children , teaching them to never slouch , to use your manners , to keep up a perfect reputation . it wasn’t the family name that was at stake , but also their future , because like everyone else in the world expected , they wanted their children to grow up & take over one of their careers , & they groomed them to do just that . atlas hated it .

he hated the daily tutors supplied by his father , lessons in business & the history of the family’s . he despised the acting classes his mother forced him to take , ones which he’d often skip out on but then would get into trouble once his parents found out . he felt trapped ; forced to do things he grew to loathe . to him , it was obvious that he could do neither of the things his parents wanted him to do . so the more they pushed , the more he pulled away . he started to feel less like their son but a puppet whose strings they kept pulling .

what he didn’t hate , though , was the feeling if his fingers on guitar strings , singing in the shower because that was the only place he could sing without his parents complaining about him making a noise . diane would often smile at him after they chastise him & quietly compliment him on his voice , telling him he’d do great things one day . of course , he already knew this . his music teacher told him once that he could sing the birds to silence .

school was enjoyable , as it goes . all deniro children were educated in a private school , & although he was close to his sisters , he made friends easily . he had a charming smile & witt that only few would understand , he was the sort of kid who got along with anyone , but he couldn’t consider any of them to be close friends . so whereas to them he looked happy , he was quite the opposite ; atlas eventually got tired of his parents controlling his life so instead of keeping up his otherwise impeccable reputation , he started to rebel .

he didn’t really do a lot at first . snuck out to a few parties , stayed out later than his curfew allowed him to . did the opposite of everything his parents wanted him to do , be that going to the classes they arranged for him or behave himself in general . he just wanted to live his own life , do what he wanted . he wanted to focus on his music & follow a path that he knew he would enjoy . so he decided he’d do just that , & for a while he felt a little glimpse of what being truly happy felt like .

however in high school , atlas got involved with the wrong crowd . they introduced him to a world he had yet to really experience ; a world full of alcohol , sex , drugs , & general trouble . he knew he shouldn’t have stuck around it , but it was addicting . it was so unlike the restrained life he grew up with , that he jumped right into it & found himself unable to get out of . there was more to it , though . the more he rebelled the more people started to notice him . how structured his jawline was , how illuminated his eyes were under any light .

atlas hadn’t really had an interest in social media before . of course , he had an instagram account that he barely used , & didn’t really start using until someone mentioned he should start modelling . sure , they were joking but avery actually considered it & started posting pictures of himself . his following plummeted , & in the november of his sophomore year he was scouted a modeling agency & became one of vogue’s most promising talents .

his career exploded from then on , & so did his popularity . he met people he would never have had the chance to meet otherwise , more specifically someone called jason . the pair quickly became good friends , they went to the same school so it was convenient . jason acted as a good influence on avery but atlas acted like a bad influence on him , dragging him into the world he found himself stuck in which is when things started going downhill . jason grew a little too accustomed to narcotics , but at first atlas didn’t notice . he wasn’t really one to talk , anyway .

one night the boys headed to los angeles to celebrate their upcoming graduation , & before going for a night out they decided to have pre - drinks in their hotel room & started popping pills . atlas didn’t really see how many jason took , but before he could warn him it was already too late . everything else from that night was a blur of blue flashing lights & a lot of strangers shouting out medical terms he didn’t understand . the only thing he really remembered from that night were the words ‘ he’s dead ’ . & an overwhelming feeling that it was his fault .

the tragedy of jason’s death left atlas in a state of seclusion . he spent three solid months alone in his room , blaming himself for what happened , but he didn’t stop the drugs . if anything , he used them as an escapism , & when his parents gave him an ultimatum : rehab or college , he chose the latter . he enrolled in columbia & took up the same business course his father did . for the first month , he was bitter , cold to everyone , would barely talk if he could help it .

but some of his old school friends went to the same college as him , & atlas started to feel more like himself again ( or a version of himself that felt similar to what he was before ) & tried to forget jason & everything that happened . his parents has covered up the death so avery wasn’t related to it , a cleverly articulated plan to keep it out of the papers . but that didn’t stop the questions , which avery would quickly divert in order to forget . he had to forget .

he didn’t . jason was his friend , & one of the few people who truly understood him . jason always believed in atlas’s music , so it only felt right that he returned to him . if not for himself , then for the memory of his late friend . so he dropped out of college , found himself a management & started writing songs , composing music . at first it was difficult ; every time he sang a song or played a tune , he’d remember jason . but after time he eased into it , dropped out of college , & has been working on his first album ever since .

atlas became an all together different person . he became manipulative , deceitful , partying every night to erase the memory of that night like it would somehow go away , but it didn’t . every time he’d close his eyes , he’d see his lifeless friend , so he’d stop closing them . he’d spend nights in a stranger’s bed , only to leave in the middle of the night . he’d drink away the pain & swallow down the guilt that was threatening to swallow him alive .

what atlas doesn’t know , though , is a secret his parents are keeping from him . in early january this year , his father was diagnosed with localised prostate . after the loss of jason , atlas became distant from his parents & they didn’t want to burden him with the news due to him only just getting back to his normal self after the trauma of losing his best friend .

: // 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 .

outwardly , atlas appears to be quite content . he can start a conversation with anyone , act like he’s interested but then three minutes later he’ll get bored & move onto the next thing that interests him . he likes staying busy & preoccupied , thinking that if he keeps his mind busy , he won’t think about the past . it’s for that reason that it’s hard to tell what he’s actually thinking , unless you know him really well or are good at reading people .

he can be very cynical , a trait that he’s carried since he was young but he was better at hiding it then , now he really does not care . at first it mattered to him what people thought , now he couldn’t care less . he does what he wants when he wants , often not thinking about the consequences of his actions & then dealing with them later . it’s for this reason that he can be quite manipulative , using his charms to get what he wants ( or who he wants ) to serve as a distraction .

he can be quite brutal about his opinions , learning a long time ago that holding your tongue won’t benefit you at all so he basically just says what he wants . but , he doesn’t really answer questions directly , especially if they’re personal . he’ll more likely change the subject or divert the question to someone else & act like he was the one who asked the question in the first place .

atlas is very reckless & will literally do anything for a good time , be that getting so drunk his face hits the floor , or so high he forgets his own name , or to even cliff diving so he can get some form a thrill . if someone tells him he can’t do something , he’ll go out of his way to prove them wrong . he’s incredibly stubborn & has a tendency to let people’s words go through one ear & out of the other .

: // 𝐅𝐔𝐍 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒 .

he’s honestly such a lil shit tbh ?? idk how else to describe him

he’s a vegetarian & has been since he was eight bc he watched this documentary once & was Distraught

his vc is lauv ( ily bazzi pls forgive me )

he has a dog called bloomer & he’s his literal son , like his actual child

he still lives in his huge ass penthouse so if anyone wants 2 be his roommate that’s a plot for u

atlas is literally ?? such a fuckboy ?? but he denies it & says he’s just charming , when rly he’s a lil bitch

a dramatic hoe who lives for drama but is 100% the sort who will run away if it gets too much bc he’s a mess

when he’s dedicated to something , be it a subject or a relationship , he’s completely faithful which is v surprising

adores his fans & will actually do anything for them , has been known to punch out a security guard or two so he can get to them

fun fact once he got arrested for racing on private property

another fun fact is he loves cars so pls do not touch his bbies thank u

he might seem all fine & dandy but he’s on the verge of a mental breakdown but won’t admit it

gets drunk , high , & hooks up with strangers on the regular

he’s fluent in italian & has a HUGE italian family

atlas can come across as being ignorant & self - absorbed , but he’s actually really observant & notices everything

is 100% the sort of ‘ fall in love with the moment & think you’re in love with the girl ’ type of guy but it lasts for like 2 seconds bc he’s fickle

speaking of fickle , he’s had many relationships that haven’t lasted that long bc he can’t decide what he wants from one minute to the next

: // 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐑𝐎𝐒 .

last time i didn’t do a summary of the deniros but honestly they’re apart of me just like atlas himself , so i wanted to do a few quick bullet points bc who doesn’t love a huge ass italian family !

obviously , the deniros come from an italian decent & let’s put it this way ... there’s a lot of them .

the deniros originate from florence , italy & although there’s an ever growing list of little additions & the fact that they , for the most part live in different parts of the world , they’re an incredibly tight - kint family .

the deniros are also very , very rich , like multi - billionaire rich which collectively brings the family’s net worth to obviously extortionate amounts .

there are multiple businesses which certain members of the family is responsible for , but atlas’s father has by far the most profited & therefore most stressful one . the company that literally brands the family is called ‘ allora ’ , & they’re a parent company for some very expensive & luxurious brands ( i.e. victoria’s secret , gucci , there’s more but like the failure i am i have Forgotten )

the deniros are a very proud & highly anticipated family , success meaning more to them than it does the average person

despite this however , they’re incredibly traditional & spend nearly every holiday together , as organised by nonno arnaldo & nonna corina .

atlas’s favourite uncle is by far his uncle toni ( i see u vi hitting up his ims )

there’s a long line of twins in the family , including atlas & his twin as well as their father , who is twins with their aunt camilla

they have kind of ..... a pattern w names sufjgjji they all match alphabetically in some way because their grandparents are obsessed with aesthetics

they have their own tv show coming up ! stay tuned for more

uhhh there’s probs more so i’ll come back to this

: // 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 : 𝐀𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝟏𝟑/ 𝟎𝟒/ 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟗 .

good god so much has happened since i first brought atlas to life agfkgjo so here’s a little update since i’m too lazy to write that huge ass biography all over again !

ok so he’s still a little bitch ... but it’s more now with the intention of being a little bitch than it is accidental

he’s released his first album ! it’s titled ‘ damage control ’ & has reached amazing success . his world tour starts in august & he’s incredibly excited !

he’s also had the opportunity to work with some incredible brands , & is very soon going to be the face of an incredibly successful brand that u’ll learn more about later probably

as for his modeling work , he’s the male ambassador of paco rabanne’s fragrance ‘ 1 million ’ , he has his own personalised clothing line collaboration with calvin klein , has been working with prada A LOT recently as well as some other brands i’m too lazy to think of

last year he won the fashion awards’ model of the year ! look at him popping !

it’s not all sunshine & rainbows though ( is it ever avdhgj ) because after a recent questioning at the police station ( there’s a self - para somewhere ) he’s been getting flashbacks of memories he’s been pushing back ever since jason died , but now they’re all coming back so he’s been resorting to drinking excessively & abusing drugs more than usual just to forget

in the same light , he’s also started racing again & starting fights with people for the heck of it

so basically ...... he’s a huge ass mess like a bigger mess than usual

BUT HE’LL GET BETTER !!! it just might take some time & some help to get there but he’ll be better

: // 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 : 𝐀𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝟎𝟗/𝟏𝟎/ 𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟗 .

atlas has had . . . a little bit of a wild ride the past few months fjdkgng

on the anniversary of jace’s passing , he was in a dark place & ended up overdosing , landing him in a three day coma

after That drama , he was slammed into therapy sessions & had to cancel his debut tour which he was not happy abt but 🤷🏼‍♀️ that’s what happens when u do stupid shit atlas

so yeah , he’s been going through it the past few months , facing his worst fears etc but eventually he’s getting BETTER

he was well enough to take part in fashion month so i’d say he’s doing good !

his relationship with his dad is improving ?? not Improved but after his overdose his dad stop being pushy & atlas realised that he’s been a dick to him too so they’re on the mend

they even struck a deal that i’ll tell y’all abt later

um ?? is that it ?? i think SFGKJDG WE’LL SEE

: // 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 .

𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱(𝘀) : the people except from his sisters who understand him perhaps better than he even understands himself . they’re like two peas in a pod , where one goes the other is soon to follow & there isn’t a lot that they wouldn’t do for each other . ( giovanni narciso , zion kang , open to more . )

𝗲𝘅𝗲𝘀 : ok so atlas has a lot of exes , either on good or bad terms , for a short period of time or a long period of time . this can either be angsty or where they broke up & are now friends ! ( open . )

𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 : basically his first girlfriend ! their parents are friends & basically set this up like parents sometimes do , thinking they know best & they dated for a good portion of their life ( think nate & blair ) but in high school , when atlas had a change of heart he wasn’t sure what he felt for her was real so he broke it off without any explanation like the dumbass he is . ( antonella cosmatos . )

𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀 : atlas’s penthouse is huge , too big for just one person to live in so it’s highly possible that he has a roommate or two ! ( alanna deniro . )

𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗲𝘀 : sometimes they like each other , sometimes they’re bickering like there’s no tomorrow . ( camilla benvenuto . )

𝗲𝘅 - 𝗳𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 : he doesn’t really do these anymore bc he’s 🥰 but he definitely has had a few of these in the past ! they never really put a label on anything , it was a bit of fun but then they decided to end it for whatever reason ! ( open . )

𝗲𝘅 - 𝖿𝗐𝖻 : before this bitch went & got himself a gf , he was the biggest hoe & probably had a few booty calls when he got a little too bored . ( open . )

𝘀𝗾𝘂𝗮𝗱 : i forgot what i was gonna type here djgkgjg but yes ! please ! ( open . )

𝗲𝘅 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 : there was a time where the pair were inseparable . they’d go everywhere together , do everything together & were as close as family . until one day one of them did something to hurt the other , & now they can’t stand each other . ( stellan alto , taylor perry . )

𝗰𝗮𝘀𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿 : they’re always bumping into each other . no matter the place , time , or reason why they’re there , these two are always finding company in each other in the strangest of places & now they have a strange friendship . ( kylie castillo . )

𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱 : they got drunk one night & ended it hooking up . it would’ve been fine , if atlas hadn’t left their apartment in the middle of the night without saying a word , so now it’s just awkward . ( donna marchesi . )

𝗯𝗮𝗱 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗻 : they work together on campaigns which often lead to long days , & atlas being atlas , is constantly trying to think of reasons to get drunk & this poor person is always being dragged into his bad habits . ( open . )

𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 : atlas is the sort of person who’s always making bad decisions & as a result can be quite pessimistic . despite him constantly trying to antagonize them , this person serves as a good influence on him so their friendship , however strangely surprising is something of a miracle . ( open . )

𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 : although atlas taking things seriously is sometimes a task in itself , when it comes to his friends he’ll go to the ends of the earth for them , especially for this person . he won’t see anything bad happen to them & will always have their back no matter what . ( vera bantini . )

𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 / 𝘄𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 : she knew his sisters first , & when they met for the first time at atlas’s parents yacht party in 2015 they developed some sort of flirtationship . over the years , what was once harmless flirting became something much more than that & it’s now at the point where they’re on the verge of dating but haven’t made it official yet . ( violet lennox . )

𝗿𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝗱𝗶𝗲 : be it racing or anything sporadically reckless , these pair do it together & have earned quite a name for themselves . whether they get caught or not , they’re in it for a good time not a long time & at the times that they find themselves behind jail cells , at least they have millions of dollars to bail them out . ( ellie flynn . )

𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗿𝘂𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 : this person dragged atlas into a world that he’s been stuck in since high school . he joined their group of friends in sophomore year & it was here where his reputation started to build . although he knows he shouldn’t , he feels grateful for them because it was at this time that he realised he should do what he wants & not give a damn about what anyone thinks . ( open . )

#wealthyhq:intro #did i just ?? cxopy & paste awhole intro #yea h #i'm lazy

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dizzyspellbook · 5 years ago

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answer from aries to 12th house. all of them. please.

oh my god ahahhhaaha WELL OKAY.

aries: what are you passionate about?

I am passionate about making art, connecting with people, and helping others the best that I can. when I can help teach someone something important or help them access their own tools, that’s such an amazing feeling!

taurus: name 3 of your favorite books.

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell, The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly, Circe by Madeline Miller, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. all ABSOLUTE bangers. also fuck u I work at a literature company I can put a fourth book if I want.

gemini: what was the last text you sent?

“i shifted how i was sitting and was like ‘oh stabby, cool’” my friends will know what this is about

cancer: if you could choose your child’s zodiac sign, what would it be?

n/a (don’t want kids)

leo: name something you love about yourself.

I LOVE. how creative I am. I mean I constantly bounce between like five different hobbies and I just love looking at the things I’ve created and feeling proud of myself and remembering how much fun I had making the thing! plus, my art has helped me connect with so many people and has helped so many people and that’s just. ahh. so rad!!

virgo: what’s your #1 pet peeve?

I HAVE TO NAME JUST ONE? LMAO. honestly i think i’ll have to say when people are not aware of their surroundings—whether that’s people walking too slowly in front of me or someone just standing like a dummy in the middle of the aisle/sidewalk like buddy come on people have to Go Here.

libra: describe your dream partner.

my dream partner is patient, funny, handsome, supportive, excited, and understanding! he also has been dating me for over five years. :^)

scorpio: do you trust easily?

this is an interesting one. I... don’t think so? and that’s not because I expect people to hurt me, I just have a lot of walls and a front I tend to put up until I’m close with someone. and scorpio is my dominant sign so hey that’s fitting. I can’t always rationally tell whether or not I’m vibing with someone, but if I notice myself struggling to be myself or behave like I normally would because of my protective walls, I know they’re not a good fit for me. (also this isn’t because I’m not friendly or outgoing, it just takes a minute for people to get to know me a bit deeper. asndgntdn i’m overexplaining lol)

sagittarius: if you could travel to any place in the world, where would it be?

bro uh. you know i see why people romanticize traveling a lot, it’s supposed to be this really revealing experience—and I did get to study abroad in college, and it was a powerful and introspective experience—but now that I’m older and have a job and medications and illnesses and disabilities I just don’t know how feasible traveling would be for me. THAT BEING SAID: it’s on my bucket list to spend a few nights to a week in a cabin with paints and books and just fucking chill.

capricorn: what’s your dream job?

currently my goal is to become an adolescent therapist, but if that doesn’t flesh out, something else in the realm of social work or accessibility. and obviously I want enough time and energy to keep making art!

aquarius: do you believe in aliens?

scientifically, yeah! there has got to be intelligent life out there. spiritually, yes! I tend to think of deities as higher-vibrational creatures that can interact with us—similar to spirits and ghosts.

pisces: describe someone you love.

my mom is nerdy and gets excited about small things, from glitter to videogames. she has almost as many tattoos as me, and almost all of them are geeky references. she and i are both traumatized and chronically ill in similar ways, which I think has strengthened our relationship in my adulthood. though, I was always close with her—she always made sure to support whoever we were as children and teens and give us the resources we needed to succeed. :’)

sun: describe yourself in 3 words.

kind, balanced, sensitive

moon: what’s your favorite song?

Such Great Heights by The Postal Service!!!! it’s been my fav song for like, fifteen years

rising/asc: how would you describe your style?

lazy nonbinary wearing nothing but sweaters as they wait for surgery lol

mars: are you easily angered?

no—and in fact, it took me some time and a fair amount of therapy to be able to access my own anger after leaving an abuser. (though I DO get annoyed easily, see the question about pet peeves lolol)

venus: what’s your aesthetic?

i..... what the fuck is my aesthetic outside of my style. what does this mean. raw art, forests, sunsets, rain, i guess???

mercury: what color do you talk in?

green. sometimes, orange! other times, deep sea blue. but usually green.

jupiter: what moral do you live by?

be the best version of you that you can be, listen to the messages the universe sends you, and enjoy your life. be kind to others.

saturn: what’s your biggest fear?

living a dull, unhappy life and not making the most out of the life I have. making decisions out of fear and not going anywhere.

uranus: are you rebellious?

ok so not needlessly so, but whenever it comes to rules I think are dumb as shit, yes. yes. I was the kid in high school who got straight A’s but talked back to the subs when they were being unreasonable lol. I just tend to think “well I’ll do this my own way” when I don’t like something.

neptune: share one of your dreams.

I want to live in a brick house. I think they are so cute. I want a window nook seat, and a tower/fun shaped attic where a library can be—I want a yard for my doggy and a space for me to paint.

pluto: what’s the biggest thing you’ve learned by far in your life?

people are healing.

lilith: do you have any guilty pleasures?

sure! I like to imbibe in some drink or smoke and zone into a dumb videogame every once in a while.

chiron: have you ever broken a bone?

i broke my nose as a child!

ceres: are you a momfriend?

I used to be, now I think of myself more as a mentor and friend than the mom friend. being the mom is exhausting.

pallas: do you have a good relationship with your parents?

my mom, yes!

juno: do you believe in soul mates?

of course! not just romantic soul mates—there are many different kinds.

1st house: are you confident?

yes! most of the time, lol. until i am outside and constantly looking over my shoulder because ptsd has eaten my brain

2nd house: if you could only keep one of your personal items, what would you choose?

probably my laptop because of all the stuff on it, art programs, etc.

3rd house: do you like to read?

yesss!! see above with my book suggestions. I’m working on Dune right now.

4th house: what does your bedroom look like?

cozy! half messy, half not. we still have boxes we need to unpack at the foot of our bed, but I’ve decorated my dresser with a lot of memorable items—my necklace tree, photos, instax, we have a couple plants, oh and my altar is in here too!

5th house: name your favorite movie or show.

Avatar: The Last Airbender for surreeee

6th house: do you participate in community service?

not currently—while I like the idea of it, I feel like I don’t have the time or battery level with commissions and art and working full time and working out and taking care of a dog.

7th house: if you could choose, what zodiac sign would you like your dream partner to be?

man I don’t like this one, every zodiac sign has its ups and downs and further, combinations of zodiac signs are what make people truly unique—not to mention peoples’ life experiences!

8th house: do you believe in reincarnation?

yes, absolutely!

9th house: what’s your favorite quote?

not to be boring but I don’t think I have one, and I don’t really want to pull one out of my ass for the sake of answering this question. :(

10th house: are you good at public speaking?

surprisingly yes! I’ve got a good blend of professional and cracking the occasional joke.

11th house: what sign(s) is your best friend/squad?

LET’S SEE. we’ve got a cap, a gem, a gem/cancer cusp, a cancer, a libra, and a pisces.

12th house: do you like to be alone?

lmao tonight i hung out with my partner and her date and after a movie i was like “i’m gonna be a party pooper and go to bed and by go to bed I mean get on my bed and draw while listening to music” so yes, I sure do like being alone.

#personal #Anonymous

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imnoexpertblog · 6 years ago

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Here's some stuff to do and listen to.

7/20/18

Are you ready to receive some suggestions to entertain your fine selves? ‘Cause I’m ready to give it.

For those who are local: My dad and brother run NYFO together for Green Bay. What’s NYFO? WELL. “NYFO 7on7 Football is the next generation of player development, no matter your skill set. NYFO is the NATIONAL GOVERNING BODY for 7on7 & Non-contact Football. Our leagues, camps, and training exist to ultimately transition better, safer, and more fundamentally sound knowledgeable players. NYFO is committed to helping every player in our program improve no matter their skill level. By doing so we will ultimately enhance the sport of football, from youth organizations through the NFL. NYFO is ‘Non-Contact’ For parents, ‘non-contact’ can be translated into ‘one-hand touch.’ Without the distraction of full-contact, players can focus on fundamentals. With so much negative media attention given to concussions and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), 7on7 offers parents a safer alternative for kids wanting to play football.” Quick additional info: They offer programs for age groups 8U, 10U, 13U, 15U, and 18U. Go to their website if you’re interested in signing your kids up! Okay but anyway, if you need something to do this Friday you should go to a Bullfrogs baseball game! Bullfrogs “Stars Of Tomorrow” fundraiser family & friend tickets are $18 and include your ticket (duh), a Bullfrogs hat, a hot dog, AND a soda! A damn steal if you ask me. It helps out NYFO and you’ll have something fun to do! All registered players from NYFO get in free with and a portion of the proceeds from family/friends tickets sales going to the NYFO by simply using code “NYFO7on7” at the point of purchase. Go to greenbaybullfrogs.com, click Buy Tickets Now in the top right corner, and enter the promo code (NYFO7on7). Gates open at 6:05pm and the game is at 7:05pm! See you at the diamond on July 20th! Give them a follow on Instagram! @greenbay.nyfo

I never really blog about music for how passionate I am about it. I have mentioned before that I sing, too. I’d love music even if I couldn’t sing though. Anyway, everyone loves finding new music, right? I’m gonna tell you my most listened to artists and songs on my Spotify. First, I’ll tell you how I found this data. I found this question forum on this link: https://www.quora.com/Is-there-a-way-to-see-my-most-played-artists-songs-in-Spotify. You’ll see in the answer that there’s Spotify.Me or there’s ManageMyMusic to see your most listened to stuff. Spotify.Me is intricate and gives you information like your favorites, streaming habits, and listening insights. Apparently, what I listen to the most is considered to be a bunch of different types of “pop.” I don’t know if I agree with that. They also tell me that “I know what I want” because 84% of my favorite artists are within my most-listened to genre. That I can agree with. It says I’m high energy lately in my streaming choices, but I don’t see it. I have been choosing really chill music, in my opinion. The other link in that question/answer forum is called ManageMyMusic and it gives you a ton of lists; Top artists and tracks for the “Short Term (4 weeks),” the “Medium Term (6 months),” and for the “Long Term (Years).” I’ll give you my top ten for each category, though I know there will be overlapping. I obviously love everything I am about to include so please give this stuff a listen. You’re about to get an intimate peek at my soul.

Top artists -- Short Term (4 weeks)

Jon Bellion

Drake

Milky Chance

Hozier

Andrew Belle

Bazzi

Aaron Carter

Roy Woods

dvsn

Troy Sivan

I didn’t realize that I listened to that much Jon Bellion lately. I mean, he is fantastic. I just didn’t realize I listened to so much of him in the last month.

Top artists -- Medium Term (6 months)

Drake

Blackbear

Tory Lanez

Marc E. Bassy

Jon Bellion

Bazzi

Post Malone

Hozier

Aaron Carter

Sam Smith

I can say for DAMN SURE that Baby has heavily influenced who I listened to these past 6 months. Drake has always been my man but I never listened to Blackbear, Tory Lanez, or Marc E. Bassy before I met him.

Top artists -- Long Term (years)

Drake

Sam Smith

Troye Sivan

Andrew Belle

Justin Bieber

Jon Bellion

The Weeknd

Jessie Ware

Hozier

Tove Lo

None of that even remotely surprises me.

Top tracks -- Short Term (4 weeks)

Jessie Ware, You & I (Forever)

Hozier, Jackie and Wilson

Sabrina Claudio, Orion's Belt

Jon Bellion, Overwhelming

Jon Bellion, 2 Rocking Chairs

Vance Joy, Mess Is Mine

The 1975, Somebody Else

Jon Bellion, The Good In Me

JAHKOY, Still In Love

Young the Giant, Cough Syrup

This is all very "me" lately.

Top tracks -- Medium Term (6 months)

Alina Baraz, Show Me

6LACK, Learn Ya

Tory Lanez, I Sip

Blackbear, moodz (feat. 24hrs)

Marc E. Bassy, 4am

Tory Lanez, Skrt Skrt

Ansel Elgort, Supernova

Bazzi, Mine

Post Malone, Psycho (feat. Ty Dolla $ign)

R I T U A L, Better By Now

This list is definitely Baby-approved.

Top tracks -- Long Term (years)

Justin Bieber, The Feeling

Troye Sivan, WILD

ZAYN, PILLOWTALK

Snakehips, All My Friends

Tatiana Manaois, Helplessly

Bryson Tiller, Don't

Chris Stapleton, Tennessee Whiskey

Sam Smith, Not In That Way

Hozier, Work Song

A R I Z O N A, Let Me Touch Your Fire

Honestly, the first 5 tracks do surprise me a little, but that was back when I had my music on constantly when I was single and home alone quite often. I remember keeping those on repeat for hours at times, so I’m not sure how accurate that actually is only because of that fact. This was all super cool to see, though. Some of it was expected, some unexpected. Either way, I hope I gave you some new stuff to listen to! And you should check out for own profiles. Nice opportunity to learn a little about yourself.

This past weekend, it was pretty warm out. Baby and I wanted to get Nugget a sprinkler so I took the little one with me to the store aaaaand they were sold out. Due to all the warmth. So I bought Nugget some water guns instead. We got 2 smaller ones and 2 larger ones for THIRTEEN DOLLARS, TOTAL. YEAH. This s’mom was shocked by that price, that’s for sure. We played and sprayed when we got home. Baby and Nugget had some fun together. The first thing Nugget did when we filled his gun though was spray me right in the (get ready) vagina. Yes. Then he yells, “I’M SPRAYING YOU IN THE PARTS.” I was like, “Uhhhhh, let’s not spray anyone’s parts and also let’s talk about anyone’s parts. It’s not polite and those are private” LOL. He’s never said anything to me about private parts or anything so that was new to me. He walks into my room when I’m changing a fair amount of the time and I know for a fact he’s seen more than I meant him to, but he has never asked questions, pointed anything out, etc. I think it’s important to set an example for your children in the sense to be comfortable with their bodies and such. This might be a whole new chapter with Nugget! We will see. Enough about my “parts” and back to the water guns. Baby said that on one of the weeks that we don’t have Nugget, that he wants to do a water gun race with me. I got 2 free beach balls from Sprint when I got a new phone last week (among a ton of other free shit, which I'll tell y'all about soon) and Baby said we should see whoever can get the beach ball across our backyard the fastest by spraying them with the water guns. I honestly think that sounds more fun than any idea I've ever had LOL. It reminds me of when I almost bought us both Nerf guns. So, if things are little mundane (or even if they’re not) maybe you and your love should find your inner children together! Get water-balloons and have a water-balloon fight, chalk up your driveway, set up obstacle courses, have a scavenger hunt! You can make it interesting by making fun deals. Whoever loses has to make dinner, for example. I think we will try all of these ideas eventually.

Speaking of shopping with Nugget, I am in the process of teaching him about not asking for toys every time we go. Baby went through a break up after a 3 year relationship before we was with me. He told me that he felt awful that Nugget no longer had two people raising him and Baby made up for that by buying Nugget toys every time they went to the store. I could tell there was a reason why Nugget would ask like clockwork what toy he would get every time we went shopping. I have been working on breaking Nugget of that expectation, as well as working on having him appreciate the things he has at home. I explain to him Daddy and I only have a certain amount of dollars and that its usually only enough to buy what we needed from the store in the first place. He actually understands this concept very well. He always asks why we are going to the store, so I always have the opportunity to tell him what we need to buy. When we went to buy the sprinkler he asked me, "Can we get a toy from here?" and I replied with, "Buddy, remember what we came here for?" He answered correctly about buying a sprinkler. I said in a very positive tone, "Yep and I'm pretty sure we only have enough dollars for a sprinkler. And you also have a bunch of toys at home that you love to play with." We walked by a few things that piqued his interest. As we walked by some bubble-guns, he goes, "Oooh, those look fun. But we only have dollars to get the sprinkler." I was so proud of him for making this connection and also proud of myself for explaining it to him so that he really does understand this. I was raised by people who didn't explain things. It was always a "because I said so" type of world and I learned to accept it. I won't put Nugget in that world, though. I want him to recognize reasoning and be able to grasp why things are the way they are. He is incredibly intelligent and capable of knowing this information. I also want him to trust me and be honest with me as we grow together, so the first step is me trusting him and being honest with him first. Just wanted to share my super proud s'mom moment of the week. I'll be back tomorrow with new recipes for you!

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svnmae · 6 years ago

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lalisa manoban, demi girl, she/her & they/them. — you know khun mae win, don’t you? they’re the twenty year old sophomore who’s studying elementary education & art and living in thayer hall. they used to be addie’s bullying target, but now they are feeling relieved that addie wont be around to hurt them anymore, though they feel guilty as well about that.

trigger warning for a car accident and teenage drinking.

khun mae is the youngest of three kids. they has an elder sister ( mayuree ) and a twin brother ( sakda ). while her and sakda are twins they can. it’s always playful and they try not to come off as a whiny brat. khun man and their sister are extremely close, as she is only two years older than the twins.

home life was fine as a kid, nothing to report about or worry about. both parents were present and loving, extremely supportive of their children and the varied interests they had. mayuree really loved music and started her talents early in life. sukda became the sports fan of the three and was on nearly every sports team that would have him in middle school and high school. he currently attends the university of michigan as a second string quarter back with a full ride.

khun mae found her passion in art and dance. painting really became her thing, soon spending as much money as was allowed on new supplies. they started winning awards for art and it really made her want to continue this as much as they could into adulthood. while they knew they might not be able to make a living off art all the time, she agreed to go to school for something to fall back on. so she started earning a teaching degree as well as her art degree in order to teach art to others, wanting to perhaps bring the same passion to kids.

her second love had always been dance and they were great at it. able to pick up steps almost instantly and follow through with a new idea until completion, kun mae was a force to recon with on the dance floor.

her life was always easy, her friends said. her siblings and her got on famously, her parents were amazing and not the least bit over bearing- until the accident. the accident was honestly her own doing, she was out late and making horrible decisions. “but what else are teenagers meant to do?” she asks herself, thinking there was no way she’d actually suffer for this.

until she was. her friend had lost control of the car, who shouldn’t have been driving in the first place. while they’d all had some to drink, the group figured he would be the best to drive them home safely from the party. sudka had stayed to close down the party and take his girlfriend of the time home later so khun mae got into the car.

she doesn’t remember much of the accident. the doctors said that wasn’t surprising with the amount of trauma she’d sustained. they were shocked she was conscious at all. days in the hospital turned to weeks turned to months when they learned the extent of what the car had done to her. unable to walk for months, khun mae still struggles on worse days. while most of the time they can walk without aid, they do have crutches as well in case.

they refused to walk the stage at her high school graduation, instead staying in the crowd to cheer on her brother. never once did her smile fade through her struggles, instead she internalized the struggles she faces so that no one else would have to suffer with her.

it took a lot of convincing for khun mae to think about college again, her admitting to mayuree and sakda one day she might not go now because she doesn’t want to be that person who struggles to get around campus now. while they couldn’t help her, they did convince her to try and she enrolled as a full time student.

Q U I C K F A C T S.

loves animals.

it’s really easy to tell their mood based on what they’re drawing at the time.

allergic to bananas.

enjoys kpop too much.

speaks both fluent english (first language) and thai (second language). learning japanese, would be considered conversationalist.

her mother is thai-candadian while her father immegrated from thailand. the two met in they want to revisit seoul one day.

attends physical therapy three times a week.

has partial paralysis of her left hand, causing a weak grip and inability to hold things for long.

loves makeup and considers it another form of art but personally wears very little.

once jumped out of plane on a dare.

favorite colors are purple, pink, and white.

hearing people talk about others making her embarrassed and gives her panic attacks.

wants to meet ariana grande in person.

vanilla coca-colas are their favorite.

has a guilty pleasure playlist of late 90s and early 2000s rap and hip hop.

hasn’t drank since the accident.

spyro is the only video game she’s ever owned.

favorite fruit is strawberries.

threatens to hit people with her crutches a lot.

she’s nice to a fault and tries to make friends with everyone.

oil and acrylic paints are her favorites.

bob ross videos are what started her passion for painting.

loves to eat limes like they’re oranges.

only 5′3″

can quote every line of mean girls.

has stayed up all night to finish a book a few times.

misses being able to sleep on a top bunk.

loves stars.

won a watermelon spitting contest in the 3rd grade.

thought about making a manga but hates any stories she makes.

owns too many stuffed animals.

terrified of clowns, to the point of crying at the sight of one.

loves the sounds of mechanical keyboards.

dislikes pie, prefers cheesecake or cobbler.

christmas is her favorite holiday.

hates using q-tips.

gets regular manicures.

blessed with synesthesia (seeing sound as colors), mostly related to music.

since the accident, suffers from really bad headaches as well.

loves to hand write letters.

yo !! message me to plot or like this thing here and i’ll slide in your messages. fair warning: i have no wcs in mind and im trash at plotting but i love doing it once we have a starting point.

also add my discord, i’m always mobile there and respond 10x faster.

#daringintro

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switchbladegoddess · 6 years ago

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Chapter 1 of naito’s autobiography

Although Naito was brought up in Adachi-ku from Adachi-ku, what kind of environment was born and raised around? Although it is said that it is said that "Adachi-ku is a Gala street" as a solitary island from a person, if it is from a prosperous local people, peaceful land around Uchi is quietly in a quiet place When I walked to the nearest station, it took about 30 minutes, so I was far from the area, and it seemed to be something.111 Same Ross · Ingo Berna Bless · de Hapon (hereinafter referred to as "Li. J ) BUSH is also from Adachi-ku, but also Adachi-ku is doing local talks, and this is pretty wide, which is personal, but in the middle, east and west north and south, 5 blogs in all (lol ) I was in the middle and BUSH! Was in the east so there is not much common topic in the same way, right ?. I said my mother is from Adachi-ku and is familiar with her maternal grandfather.The parents also live in the neighborhood So this land is from Asakusa in Taito Ward Speaking 28 er. Earn This is the place where there is A 11 Maru a a gym which I went through before the professional wrestling It is so it is so so it brought to Asakusa often to my father before entering the gym. With my acquaintance with my father, I came for a while. My father used to work for a tire maker of an automobile, although he seems to have had a lot of associations with people in various regions, but my father often bragged about what he was working at at the head office (laugh) I think that the mother was an up-and-coming person! Basically it was a full-time housewife, so my mother occasionally part-time! In addition, as a family composition there is a sister aged two years older, I remember even now, It seems that my older sister wanted to keep a dog at a young age, I wore a collar on me who did not go to kindergarten or not going to kindergarten, I put sandals on my limbs In short it is te, After having grown up in one wife, the line is a substitute for wesc kindergarten (bitter smile). After becoming an adult, my older sister said "I hated Tetsu in the old days" because you are an older sister " What I was told was From my sister, my mother seemed to be spoiled. Were you influenced by your older sister during childhood? Surprisingly it was not it. Every time I was on holiday, my father had taken me outside, so mostly it was a catch ball. Anyway my father loves baseball and professional wrestling, "I'm king, lol", Mr. Nagashima and Inoki CAPITULO.1 Pro wrestling boy. , Attar えと Inoki san. Master. Call on! Previously, it was said that my father was u ex, r Weekly Wrestling "in the article" Tetsuya was I was not a child, I was different from me (laugh) "was said. When I was living together, I did not think so, but recently my mother got into the media as a parent of Tetsuya Naito · "Why is not it me you taught me your wrestling? It is said (laugh). But, if I think now, I think the Naito family was free. When I entered junior high school, my father included "I decide what I want to do, but I can take responsibility by myself". It is like Naito's family's learning, and there is almost no memoir of getting angry with a laissez-faire anyway. My older sister was quite free (laugh). I will go abroad for months if a little money gets accumulated, and moreover by myself. I am working at a publishing company now (at the time of interview) and I think that I could study from a long time ago. Also freely yourself, 2 Mr. Fuji said that the motor nerve was good from early childhood. It seems that we started walking around 10 months after birth. My bicycle was suddenly able to ride on an auxiliary wheel when I was about 3 years old. There seems to be inheritance There seems to be mothers better than exercise about father. Business association at basketball I think that he was a family member who likes sports as he seems to have gone out as a supporter to the game. There were 170 postalities and I was playing volleyball and the first sports I played was football. My father thought that "Men are baseball!", But my mother did not seem to have a feeling of Sagger, so happened to be a soccer club in the kindergarten, and when I noticed it, I was engaged. Besides, when my father assembled one started to learn baseball when I was small 1 (lol, - since there was no baseball team looking at kindergarten, as soon as I got to elementary school I was put in a neighborhood team 41. 4 Takashi liked baseball more than football and I was pleased at the time.I had a batting center in my neighborhood and I was taken along well.When my high school age, my father is baseball As the likes increased, I started to teach the children as a coach with the team, since the entrance of my father, the number of cases in which a father like a cool boy in a team becomes a coach has increased, Just a little "I may be a person to say I (). 32 My hero is Muto Keiji - If he is good at sports, is he a girl too? Oh, I got a lot of chocolate at Valentine 's Day, I ran fast from the time of kindergarten, I was able to raise upside down in the air with a steel bar, because my motor nerve was good anyhow. I just could not get chocolate from my favorite stuff (bitter smile). Were you injured in the head this time? That's right! When I practiced a soccer club, I tried to jump over the wire mesh, climbing the wire gauze, thinking about having to go from jumping over the 2 meter virgin gold E that the ball is hitting the ground. Then at the moment of jumping, the pants caught on the wire mesh eagle hanging, suspended from it from the head and fell down to the ground from the head, it was full of blood and cried a dog, but I was conscious I remember having a panic at the hospital, it is the first vertical falling formula I was born. (Laugh) I heard that he was playing a game soccer We are watching a game of Suku 4 (Oh yeah yeah, it is a backward music at that time, it's my father's battle.) I remembered the day I went on the first day Today, I remember the summer "Summer 12th and 20th" Night fever: N Country skills. "On the first day Antonio Inoki and Saka Nomachi are the main attractions - you are a person Do not forget to remember the contents of do 4, but KEZita's co-op is awesome after 5 Well, 41 red, but 4 seconds when it comes down to a small quake 11 is football Pro wrestling small side be, "I do not even remember that my mother panicked at the hospital, it is the first vertical falling formula I was born. (Laugh). , And (laugh) "In the story of pro wrestling, Naito seems to have watched it with his father on television since he was small! Dad seems to have been watching the game of the first Tiger mask on TV by putting Naito-san on baby on the knee, is not it? At that time I would like to take you to the Korakuen Hall as well, but I certainly do not remember it. The first memory that I saw pro-wrestling with my father at the venue is the two-round battle of the two countries in the summer of 1987. I certainly remember going to the first day. It is r Summer Night Fever 1N Kokugikan of 111th and 19th and 20th of August. On the first day is a 5: 5 irritation match of Antonio Inoki and Naou Leader of Mr. Seiji Sakaguchi and New Leader of Fujinami Tatsuji (this "Tatsumi" player and Choshu Akimoto), which is an eyeball, Keiji) The players were put in the direction of the Now reader, right ?. I am still 5 years old, I do not remember the contents of the game, but the atmosphere of the venues of both the Kokugikan are very impressive. I still felt very wide, so I was surprised at the picture of the yokozun who had decorated tu many pieces above the venue, but when I get up to elementary school, I will be playing football on Saturday and baseball on Sunday CA Because I was doing, I have not gone there until the end of the week. I did it, but · at that time in Wushan, I caught ce cheat on red pants and I was keen. The way of joining is with fans. Ro - "in 1991 is mainly because the butterfly player snow" "to Muto players, and there was a note that was drunk. Did your mother like pro wrestling? : And, I was watching TV on my father and watching it on TV. However, mother's grandma, if you saw it from the original, esatteus liked professional wrestling very much. I was 84 in the middle of 3, when I passed away, 'a, when I saw a line at Adachi-ku gymnasium such as tr's in Ka-yama, I saw that I went to Yo-sr- + 4 . 4, 0, tiecaus did not like all my articles as filing hobbies, but it seems I am doing it as a debut. Results of all the matches since the original wrestling was done 4 Print out, and when it is filial pro wrestling properly and someday and someday. auni. + «It is WR It is because I think that there is the appearance because it is a lid in which the doorpreme is pro-wrestling so I am left in the impression most impressive 匁 years. -sis-- 1-1 \ No, it was a bit different from sn ?, wu anaanet, tiir, it was a bit different. (There was something strange to a heart-to-heart. Blesses boys 35 1111 pro wrestling! For the house it is said to be a son of filial piety. On the contrary it is Kotachi - Deee. Because I think that there is a present form because the Naito family had soil that I soaked in a pro-wrestling doppery. The most impressive thing in the old wrestling wrestling was the 1.4 Tokyo Dome Great Muta vs Butterfly in 1993. 11 w GP Heavy and NWA World <Haito Lariat where the double title match Muta is said, I was surprised that it was a fresh idea while I was a child. Muto Keiji was a childhood hero. Essentially I like pretty much like Hiroshima, like Hiroshima Carp for baseball, Yokohama Fluger for Suka 1, New Japan for wrestling. But, Muto is a little different about the players. The skill is brilliant, the body is cool, and there is something that can attract the child's mind. The dream of the future is an uncle of a gas station "- Is the elementary school that passed along in Adachi-ku? That's right, Adachi Ward Hirano Elementary School. I think that it was not such a big place because it is 2 classes in grade 1. Study s The grades were not so much. Anyway, I like exercise so much, I feel like I'm going to do my best in physical education. Since I was taking the initiative after school and playing football, it was like a male leader in class. Anyway, at that time I love to stand out in exercise, and I am from the gymnasium on the stage ru CA I was doing 36. From that time I was doing things like air killing. Several pro wrestling friends around me, so we gathered early in the morning and wrestled with sandbox. Although I did not get injured, when I was 6, I became a fight in the classroom and my head was locked to the other party, so I had KO done with the whole backflop (lol) "The other party has become a fluffy I'm glad I did not get caught now, but I have never hit or beaten a person until I go into a professional wrestling.It is almost impossible to play a fight, just backdrop is a pro wrestling game I was happy to decide it beautifully, and I was happy with it (laugh) .11 Have you been a centerpiece even for a baseball team that entered at the same time as you entered elementary school? I am doing it when I am a 6th grader , I think that it is known as a fan of the island Karp at the time of 5 years but at that time I was cheering for the giant, I love Tatsunori Hara and that influence of my father. Meeting at Suidobashi station. Also, my paternal grave is right next to Seibu baseball stadium and I went there. 11 What is the reason why I switched from a giant to a carp? It is probably the most reason for socching because it was graduated by one army gradually and retired at the time of senior high school gradually. So when my heart dangled a bit, my baseball using Carp 's feet looks really cool. At that time, Director Toshiyuki 111 village, No. 4 Satoshi Eto, player Takayasu Ogata and Tomokichi Maeda who is currently doing the director are active. Perhaps, I think that I wanted to be a professional baseball player when I was little. But, my kindergarten 's birthday card has my dream written on the petrol station "(laugh). There was a petrol station in the neighborhood of the house, but at that time I guess the old man of the gas station looked cool rather than the professional baseball player and the professional wrestler. Besides exercise, what are the lessons in elementary school days? I was attending an abacus class with my sister's influence. I was able to mental arithmetically with my abacus. I also won a top prize at the Adachi Ward competition. I'm extreme. It is a type that thoroughly does it if you are interested, Without feeling interested in like a point. Is there something you gathered in something like that in that era? By the influence of the surrounding friends, the ric Bikkurimanseiru "was collecting Meguha. Another carddust of "Dragon pole". That puts in 20 yen and it turns out, but it comes out two occasionally, manga read carddus in population. Originally, there is no custom to read manga itself. r Saint Seiya ", but it was also the main animation. Or, I think now, I have been almost at home since I was little. I went outside as soon as I got back from school and did not do much for dark video games or something. V I was doing soccer and baseball, so the J League started at 4 athletes, right? I liked flugers, but I was absorbed earlier by the Yokohama Marinos, but I liked the whole, but if it says strongly, I would like to say that if you are strong, Mr. Akihiko Mori and Mr. Atsuhiko Mori who wrapped the bandanna goal keeper anti- ^ ^^^^ thousand 11, are looking cool. My position at the time was so-called. It was an aggressive midfielder. What kind of characters did you go to get yourself or get assisted by your fellow? It was my 1111 class position, or I was trying hard to play around which I was calling, 47, I was unexpectedly demonstrating leadership.46 soccer high school days high school days Naito players No 2 months after Budokan, did you have the opportunity to receive a sign or receive a professional wrestler in the age of your fans? But - in June 1997 I basically do not have much desire to approach professional wrestlers. As I liked being only on the second day of the three consecutive warfare between the two countries, when I went to the shop at this time to see "GI", when I left the hall, it happened that I saw SAITO Akihito. Akihito 's match The first time I was born in a convention poster I bought a signature. However, it was not long before I went through with my wrestler as well as fan events. Although I first thought of becoming a professional wrestler, I joined a fan club in Shinnihon, but since I wanted more information about New Japan anyway, I was looking forward to the newsletter every time Keep it. Once a year, the original video was sent with membership benefits, but in the meantime there was a new Japan dormitory in the young era Mashabe Kanji (there was a video that the .tai player guided at that time. There is a memory that I saw many times, thinking that I am going in here. CAPITULO.1 Pro-wrestling boy 47 Although it is only interested in new books. I was not interested in that from the late 1990s to early eight years? Martial arts such as "K.1" and "P RIDE" were excited, but it was all, but when the professional wrestler lost to the IK family, it was a terrible disappointment, Ishizawa evil 1 Ake, 0 M players, etc. But I thought that Muto Keiji was the strongest, so I thought that I could win against Hixon Gracie by dragon screw from the fourth character (lol) Hashimoto was with Naori Ogawa I was thinking that if Muto was pushed by conflict, I was able to defeat Ogawa something "I was saving money in bytes when I was 2 and Iwaki Tenden (RIM) IWGP <Bee I went to see or something. 11 You were a follower Muto believer. Where is high school? Adachi East High School, sticking to Adachi Adachi (laugh). Because I did not want to take an examination examination, I consulted my teacher and entered with a designated school recommendation with only an interview. Well, it was a place where I can go on to the exam pears, which was full of bad though. There are seven classes in one year, but in the second year there are only six classes. In other words, more than one class of students are not quitting or retiring. The number of students in one class is also over 30 when it is one year, but in the end there were only about 20 people. 48 schools entered the football club - did not you proceed to the way of failure? However, it was full of cigarette cigarettes so that the floor in the club room can not be seen (lol) I was interested in practicing soccer club a week though. But at that time, the judo club was a school, so all the club activities worked at all, there were clear reasons and it was not irritated or simply interested. There were six days. At first I was thinking of entering the judo club for making a wrestler basis. Or, it was not as rough as local famous. It looks like it was not. No, I entered the football club the next day after the entrance ceremony but then I was alone by myself if no one came in. (Laugh) "So, I told friends who became friends" 11 Well, it is inevitable that only the football club was doing it? Well, that is inevitably inevitable, but everyone was doing it properly or saying it was hot like a lama, "Practice is also 6 Let's do "(laugh). You look like youth. It is a change that we changed in our generation. However, football was a group competition and it was only beginners, and it was not that sweet even if it became strong. How was the performance of football? It is not as a CAPITuLo.1 Broles 98 team, but I've got advice from the forerunner of one of the strongest schools to "ausa to Kimi 1" Lee 's advice, Tea goes on t1 after the tournament. I was told that "Mark only that number 6" ~ ~ Even in the game I lost by the big difference I got one point only After the game I was preached that the opponent team "was put in number 6" Well, it can not be better to win alone, so there was a part because it was basically 1 because I admired professional wrestling.11 So while talking, high school is hitting the buttocks of bad guys Everyone seems to be Yancha when I was a junior high school student, but my practice was done seriously, and my friends at that time would come to the venue ... Activities I never stopped because I felt like I was going out for classes and going to the club room or going to a convenience store to buy "Weekly Wrestling" or r Weekly Gong. Pro wrestling magazine was a substitute for textbooks (laugh) "To go club activities only I go to school for football by bicycle 4; high school is really important: I calculate the number of days attendant and I'm about to be able to progress gracefully Resting, with everyone going back to school Witnessing the debut of Hiroyasu Tanahashi 11 Does the high level of professional wrestling increase in high school days? The bite cost was almost gone wrestling. Originally there was no fashion or goddess, but the use of money was mostly professional wrestling, go to a spirit shop that was in Roppongi or Shibuya. At the time, there was a video series about 3000 - 4000 yen, r fighting spirit V special "and I bought it well. When buying a higher video, I suffered for hours in the store (laugh). After that, I came to go to the venue in Tokyo and so on at the beginning of January, so I can go even with mopeds if there is a venue there. "I was also visiting near the Kanto area. Soka is also in Saitama, because it is soon after crossing the river from Adachi Ward .... What is called Kuroba in Tochigi, Chiba Park gymnasium. I just do not want to taste the trip, I just want to see a wrestling. I also went to Sapporo by airplane in the high 2 summer. Sapporo Nakajima Sports Center often went. Kuki, Hasuda, Omiya, and it Kanagawa Yokohama, Fujisawa, supposed to be Sagamihara-Yamato is demolished, but it is do Shin Nihon & Co., did the last two races. On the first day Muto players and small CAPITULO.1 Pro wrestling boy Me (Do) (laugh) "I'm watching the debut of Hiroyasu Hirohashi, is not it? So yes, so the game was only for the Young Lion debut game. By the convention, I also played the game in the rural area at 99 Dora's ora's Korakuen, at that time the signing ceremony of the dome came to the main shelf bridge vs Mashiro and Shibata Katsuyasu vs Inoue Gutsuki Until then until then it was only seen in the center of the city of Bikku Maufuti, such as the two countries and the dome, but at such a tournament there were not many Young Lion games being organized, so at this time the young friends When I saw the game of "I wonder what this is!" I was shocked. Although there is no flashy technique, it is very interesting to put a sense of mind all over and compete for nuisance. Of course, I'm also interested in the game of the main players, but I feel like I want to see more of the Young Lion game, so I came to various competitions 5. It is interesting that Tanahashi player of the debut game was the trigger for me to spend hours on mopeds at local venues.Because at Ains Korakuen in Ainsakuen, I realized that Heng g Hiroyu shines best for 6 m. Pizza also took off the Yan Lion 94, did not he? It is six steps from the second, but since local competitions do not announce all cards in advance beforehand, after arriving at the venue, there were things like "what's the shelf bridge?" , I liked all the Young Lion games. - Young Lion at that time besides Tanahashi player Shibata player 0 - Inoue player, Masaya because of fainlessness, Mashira players, and the other is Refusal Yume A crying, Mr. Fukuda Masa 1 groove 0 -. KENSO (a_ 云木 9% made debut with rumor.) Athlete 2: It is a moment when the Tanahashi player loses Shibata player's cross-type Ha 4 - me & Krauti (lol) at that time I was thinking that that is the strongest technique I was contracting as a cause of becoming a Tanahashi fan, I have been temporarily away from New Japan.There are wrestlers that make me feel like my favorite flowers Or, at that time, I was already aiming for a wrestler, so it may have been caught as a familiar admiration and the thought is Great and Muta, where WCW and the target athletes are gone.

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wildflower8281 · 7 years ago

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#nunlife

A lot of people ask me what #nunlife was like and why I left. So I’m answering some of that here in various parts because #nunlife is so multi-faceted, happens in steps and in 8 years I experienced many sides of it! Also, the reasons why I left deserve some space, thought and clarity. 😊 While I do get saucy in various parts because lots of my #nunlife was kinda cray, I also would not change my time in the convent because it has brought me to where I am now, a space and a life that is full and bright. So even though I call out some of the bullshit antics here and in other places I’ve written, I also still hold much love for the actual humans who I grew up with there (I was age 22-30 in the convent, with many of the same) and who I know are still living that life with good intentions. Also, I know there are many former nuns who prefer not to revisit convent life or remember things, which I honor. For me, I have no problem sharing (really?!) any parts of it - the good, the bad and the ugly. And honestly, sharing has helped me to make others aware and also reap the wisdom from those years for my own life and spirit.

Below is everything from our insane schedule, sleeping on pieces of wood to chauffeuring the priests around. Also the cool stuff like traveling to the White Mountains of New Hampshire every summer, playing volleyball and getting a new name. Oh and why the sound of a bell is semi-ptsd for me!

In adjectives only, nun life was: fun, challenging, quiet, loud, sacrificial, routine, adventurous, exhausting, annoying, ignorant, blind, well-intended, broken and beautiful. Full of humanity, right?!

What order? I entered The Servants of the Lord & the Virgen of Matara (ssvm), they are the female branch of the larger Religious Family of the Incarnate Word, mostly a missionary catholic priesthood, originally founded in Mendoza, Argentina in 1984. (www.ive.org; www.iveamerica.org) The order has definitely had it’s fair share of shadiness that has recently come to light, but honestly none of that had any personal, major effects on my life or leaving. The sisters were founded in 1988, marking 30 years this year (www.ssvm.org; www.ssvmusa.org) They are a catholic missionary order and so when I met the ssvm while attending Catholic U. in DC, they had only been in the states for maybe a handful of years. They only had probably 7 American sisters, most of them still in formation. I think my class was probably only the 4th or 5th class here in this province (which now includes USA, Guyana, Surinam, Mexico & Canada!) Still to this day, the Novitiate formation houses for both the men and women resides in Maryland, very close to DC.

Entering the Convent: I entered at age 22, only 9 months after graduating college. I entered the Novitiate House/Convent, where both postulants and novices lived together. Postulancy is the stage upon entrance until a girl receives her habit & religious name. At this point, that is usually a year or longer. For me, back in the early days of SSVM in this province, it was only 11 months and for some of my classmates, it was only 1-4 months. The order did not have a certain level of church approval yet (it only had local ones or something,) so we didn’t yet have to follow canonical rules, which was fine and semi-normal.

When I entered, there was a novice class already living in the house that consisted of all Americans and 1 Philipina. They were about 8. My class that followed was also 8, but we were much more diverse: 3 Americans, a pair of Pakistani twins (truth), 1 Haitan, 1 Mexican and 1 Guatemalan. Of the 8 of us, only myself and the Mexican girl eventually left. Of the novice class before me, 4 remain and 4 left. The ones who remain have been and are still in various missions all over the world such as Italy, Tunis, France, and various places across the US.

My Religious Name: Technically now after about a year of postulancy, the sisters are given their religious names in a special, fancy ceremony and Mass. We were allowed to propose names, but also ultimately our superiors chose them for us. The name given to me was: Sr. Maria Lumen Christi, which is Latin for Sr. Mary, Light of Christ. I loved the name and really resonated with it. As all of us were named after Mary in some fashion, we went by the 2nd part, so I was Sr. Lumen, or just Lumen (as we called each other) for the next 8 years. (I still feel that my “calling” here is to Be Light, so that name still is most definitely a part of my being from all eternity.)

Novitiate Life – Koolaid Initiation: I spent about a year and ½ in this house and for the most part, it was pretty fun and I loved it. It was actually a house in a small Bowie, MD neighborhood that had been turned into a convent (which only meant that 1 room was created into a Chapel basically.) It had 4 bedrooms upstairs that were stocked with bunk beds (except for the Superior’s room,) a kitchen & dining room, a library room, a study/classroom, the chapel and a backyard where I played my first volleyball games. At our smallest, we were probably 8 or so, and at our largest in that house we were probably around 20, definitely more than allowed. The class who entered after me was large, to the point where we set up bunks in the library and in the garage that summer, until my class moved out to the Juniorate House in DC that Fall. It was community living at it’s best.

Everything in convent life was scheduled. We had a weekly schedule, divided into the days, divided into hours, marked by the bell ringer, which was an actual job. (To this day, whenever I hear a certain tone of bell, I am brought right back – it’s semi-ptsd and semi-nostalgic for me! Truly.) These years were basically learning how to live like a nun, how to live in community, as well as studying the catholic faith. A normal day in the Novitiate House might look like this:

Take a good, long look at that one!

If anyone ever gives me shit for being slightly cray about my personal time, tell them to go live that life for 8 years and get back to me!

Work duties consisted of various tasks to keep the house in order: cleaning, laundry, sacristy (taking care of the things in the chapel), cook (not cooking every meal, but meal planning for the house & coaching those of us who had never cooked in our lives!), librarian, liturgy (prepping all music & songs for Mass & prayer) etc. There were also sisters in charge of sports and recreational activities. There were also “drivers” – as some, but not all of us could drive. Picking and dropping of the priests for Mass (yes, that was a thing…don’t get me started) and various other things we needed them for was a daily task. In this house, there were only 2 showers, 1 phone line and maybe 1-2 computers. Needless to say, we all learned about community in very real ways.

While the novitiate years were mainly focused on community life and study, with some apostolic work on weekends (like teaching ccd, etc) once a sister left the novitiate, she entered the Juniorate House of Studies, where all of that only intensified & multiplied.

Below: the novitiate and juniorate houses present day. The superiors and lead sisters in these houses were girls I lived with for many years.

Juniorate House of Studies – A Whole Lotta Crazy: A sister usually would

spend 2-3 years here and begins her life in this house only after her first profession of temporary vows (poverty, chastity and obedience.) It was all the things above – including the hour by hour daily schedule complete with large bell ringing & everything - except everything was more – classes, responsibilities, hours awake, hours driving, cleaning, cooking for more, etc. It was meant to be a harder, more demanding lifestyle, in preparation for “missionary life.” The house was huge, there were 2-3 classes of sisters living together, usually over 20 of us, plus the superior and formators (older sisters who help the superior in various specific arenas like discipline & studies.) (Again, if ever anyone wonders why I revel in living alone…!!!!) Thankfully there were way more bathrooms and showers here, but sadly it was in SE DC, so there was not a yard to play in, but we had access to the school gym which is where we would play volleyball and basketball about once a week if we were lucky. Sleep here was less, despite the fact that work was more. We would rise at 6 I think, but usually were not in bed until 11pm. If you had to pick up Father, you were up at probably 515am. While there was still a siesta scheduled in the Juniorate, very often sisters would catch up on work or study during that hour because there was just not time enough in the day to keep ahead of the game. While it sounds like nun-studies might be an eye roll, the order is actually super academic and takes studies very seriously. We learned some high level philosophy, metaphysics, church history, roman history, not to mention Latin, Spanish and Italian studies. A shit ton of church documents, papal letters, names, dates, etc. It wasn’t just make sure you know the Saints and the 10 commandments. This order knows their Catholic doctrine, history and all of the Church documents really intensely. So, classes, studying and exams were very real and for some caused a great deal of stress.

Despite the demanding schedule and responsibilities, these years were probably the most fun and enjoyable for me, because I was not in charge and didn’t have enough time to realize how much I naturally disliked a lot of people and a lot of movement, ha! I was too busy people pleasing and trying to be a good, docile, generous nun! But honestly, a lot of us were around the same age – 18 to early 30s – and generally had a great time together. There were a shit ton of cultural differences that we all were challenged by and eventually learned to honor, as they all made us more open and wiser. Meals together, sports, road trips to other convents or shrines or holy sites, recreation and games, and religious feasts and celebrations were usually joyful & lively, with an abundance of good food, guitar playing and lots of songs. We celebrated the various represented cultures with feasts of ethnic food, drinks, music and ceremonies. Every summer, we would drive up to the White Mountains of New Hampshire for vacation. We would spend a month hiking those awesome mountains, swimming in lakes, camping, playing volleyball, barbecuing and singing around the campfires. Those were also pretty amazing times, despite the on-the-go routine and lack of sleep!

Things to notice about these years: the young ages, the lack of free unstructured time, the lack of sleep, the dozens of hours being taught by a superior or priest (read: Koolaid,) the lack of time alone, catering to the priests…Anyone who knows me, knows that I do think the life was and is a cult...I just never noticed it until years later. (Still wouldn’t change it though! lol!)

Deny Thyself: Penances, YAY!

Some things that are rarely brought up in conversations about #conventlife are the physical penances. As most people know, Catholics practice various forms of penance. Our order was and is very old school, orthodox Catholic and so the physical penances were very much a part of the spirituality and practice. This may be new or surprising or crazy to you, but for us it was pretty freaking normal and eventually not a big deal. I understand if you read this and think that we were like trying to live in the 1500s. It was like that sometimes!

o Fasting: every Friday of the year (except a few) it was encouraged to fast until dinner. This was always optional. There were all kinds of ways to fast, including removing sugar or milk from coffee, only eating bread or fruit, etc. There were a zillion ways to deny the palate & appetite and we were allowed to do whatever worked for us.

o Hair shirt: this was introduced in the Juniorate and we could wear it in accordance with what our spiritual director allowed. It was basically a lightweight chainlink belt that we wore around our waist, under our habit, as a penance – to remind us that we are sinners, or to remind us ‘what Christ suffered for our sins.’

o Self-flagellation: also a thing! In the juniorate, we were given a medium sized whip made of rope, I don’t remember the name. At least once a week, we would perform community self-flagellation, on our knees, at night before we all went to sleep, usually to the duration of a decade of the Rosary (a few minutes.) This may have increased during Lent, like 1 extra day a week. Since it was an obvious thing, it wasn’t easy to do it secretly. I’m sure many of us also performed this penance during silent retreat weeks and months.

o Sleeping on Wood: I discovered this option for penance at a visit to a NY convent, when I was still in the Juniorate. Girls would elect to remove their mattress and use a similar size piece of plywood to sleep on. I asked to do this my last year in the Juniorate and slept this way my 4 years in Harlem.

These are just the main forms I remember, and only physical penances. There were a zillion other ways we learned to “deny ourselves” throughout the day mentally, emotionally, etc. But I thought the physical was worth noting since I would guess most folks don’t think these types of penances still exist, except in some strict monastic convents maybe. Well, they do!

And on that fun note, I will end this post!

Up next: Sent to Spanish Harlem!

#myponderings #nunlife #catholic #catholiclife #catholicchurch #patriarchy #convent #conventlife #ssvm #ive #nuns #religious #sisters #novitiate #postconvent #exnun #penance #othodoxcatholic #ponderings

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rebelmeg · 7 years ago

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Let's Get Personal

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? Recently, it's been "Secret Love Song" by Little Mix, "Poison" by Rita Ora, "What Ifs" by Kane Brown and Lauren Alaina, "U and Ur Hand" by P!nk, "Perfect Matchup" by Kenny and London Holland, and The Greatest Showman soundtrack 2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Robert Downey Jr. 3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. “When was the last night or day you took time off?” 4: What do you think about most? Writing. A new idea, a current idea, something I need to jot down, something I need to fix, the one I want to read. 5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? I'm fine, unless you want the time. 6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? Underwear. 7: What’s your strangest talent? Personalizing or adding to things that probably do not need to be personalized. (The beige Calvin Klein purse was BORING so I defiled something expensive to make it more “me”.) 8: Finish the sentence. Girls… are strong; Boys… are allowed to be soft. 9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? Not that I know of. 10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? I'm not an air guitar person, I have a THING about looking stupid and I’m certain that I can’t pull off looking cool doing air guitar. 11: Do you have any strange phobias? Nah, just the regular ones. 12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? Don't think so? 13: What’s your religion? LDS 14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Walking to my car. 15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind, definitely. 16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? I do hate this question. I'll go with Queen, it's the first one that popped into my head. 17: What was the last lie you told? I don't recall. 18: Do you believe in karma? Eh, sorta 19: What does your URL mean? I am and have always been a little bit of a rebel. 20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? Weakness, personal motivation and time management. Strength, creativity. 21: Who is your celebrity crush? RDJ and Sebastian Stan 22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Yep. 23: How do you vent your anger? Stewing about it, venting to other people. 24: Do you have a collection of anything? Soooo many collections... I collect shot glasses as my travel souvenir. 25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Phone. 26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? For the most part. 27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? Permanent markers on cardboard boxes give me the heebie-jeebie shivers, the sound of a soda pop tab opening a can makes me swoon with happiness. 28: What’s your biggest “what if”? I'm not sure. Maybe what if I'd married someone else (not a desire at all, but something I've wondered about from time to time), my life would be entirely different from what it is now. 29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? No and yes, but not in the traditional sense. 30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. The chair next to me on the right, the child that is being clingy on the left. 31: Smell the air. What do you smell? My house and my perfume. 32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? A casino. 33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? I've never been to the East Coast, so I can't really say. 34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Oh geez, I don't know. 35: To you, what is the meaning of life? To do your best, be kind, and be happy. 36: Define Art. Life made viewable. 37: Do you believe in luck? Not really. 38: What’s the weather like right now? Rainstorm is heading this way. 39: What time is it? 9:31 am 40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? Yep and yep. Not a big crash, though, minor one. Fixed the alignment! 41: What was the last book you read? Currently reading "Blood Fury" by JR Ward 42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? Don't mind it as long as it's not too strong. 43: Do you have any nicknames? A fair slew. Meg, Megs, Rebel, Mom, Mama, and then standard endearments. 44: What was the last film you saw? Geostorm, I think. 45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Not sure if this counts as an injury, but I ended up in the hospital with a miscarriage that required surgery. If that doesn't count, I broke my foot falling out of a tree. 46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? Yep! I found one on the grass once during recess as a kid when it was raining, it was close to getting crushed by the other kids playing ball. I held it cupped in my hands so I could show my teacher, its wings dried while I held it, and it flew away while we all watched. 47: Do you have any obsessions right now? Fandom ones, heck yeah. 48: What’s your sexual orientation? Straight. 49: Ever had a rumor spread about you? Probably. 50: Do you believe in magic? Everyday magic, yes. 51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Yeah. 52: What is your astrological sign? Libra 53: Do you save money or spend it? I spend like it's burning a hole in my pocket. 54: What’s the last thing you purchased? Lunch last week. 55: Love or lust? Love 56: In a relationship? Yes 57: How many relationships have you had? Just one serious one. 58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Not quite. 59: Where were you yesterday? Home. 60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? My elbow is resting on a pair of my daughter's pink underwear. 61: Are you wearing socks right now? Yep, I love socks. 62: What’s your favorite animal? Bears, penguins, peacocks, owls, dogs. 63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? Being kind and friendly. 64: Where is your best friend? Teaching school. 65: Give me your top 5 favorite blogs on Tumblr. Oh geez, I can't narrow it down to just five! 66: What is your heritage? Mostly British, good mix of other UK and European ancestors, I’m a 2nd generation American. 67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? Watching Gilmore Girls and folding laundry. 68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? Don't think he has one. 69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? Of course. 70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? I hope so. 71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Save the dog quickly. 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? Yes, everyone. b) What do you do with your remaining days? Be as happy as possible and spend as much time with the people I love as possible. c) Would you be afraid? Heck yes. 73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. A huge part of love IS trust, so love. 74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Goody Goody by Julie Lavery, it's an upbeat, bouncy song. (Which is funny, because the lyrics tell a sad story) 75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? Nope, I use it as a passcode for stuff sometimes. 76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Humor, taking care of each other. 77: How can I win your heart? Interact with me. 78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? Yep. 79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? To start writing again. 80: What size shoes do you wear? 7 81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? *shrugs* Something nice. 82: What is your favorite word? Popcorn. I love the sound and the visual appearance of the way the letters are arranged. 83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Love, courage, strength. 84: What is a saying you say a lot? "Best thing ever!" 85: What’s the last song you listened to? "Hey Soul Sister" by Train 86: Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors? Purple! 87: What is your current desktop picture? Shamrocks 88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? I don't know enough to be able to make that decision. Also, too many corrupt world leaders to narrow it down, I think. 89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? I can think of many. 90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? "I am too tired for this nonsense, either sit down and chill or go downstairs and wait until morning." 91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Time manipulation without accelerated aging. I just want to be able to nap whenever I want and have time to catch up on my Netflix list... 92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? The first time my hubby and I held hands when we were dating. It was perfect and absolutely adorable. 93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Ugh, I'm not sure, there are two that immediately spring to mind that were pretty awful. 94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? I have no idea. 95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Europe. Anywhere in Europe, but particularly the UK. 96: Do you have any relatives in jail? I don't think so? 97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? I'm sure I did when I was a kid, but not that I can remember. 98: Ever been on a plane? Finally went on one for the first time a couple years ago! 99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? Be kind.

#let's get personal #about me

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dressed-to-keehl · 7 years ago

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Twenty Questions (DN fic)

Happy happy birthday to the amazing @themihaelkeehl <3 this one of a kind super rare gay has been in the world a whole year longer and tbh we should be thanking him for that. i love u stark, so i give to you all i have to offer: ANGST

MxM. One shot, post reunion. Just when you think you really know someone, they surprise you. If that person is particularly surprising, though, maybe that’s a sign you knew them all along. Matt and Mello never knew the hardest part would come after they found each other again. Ft. existential dread, light (also sad???) smut, the wrong way to clean out an ashtray, mario kart & the unbearable discomfort of relearning someone you used to love (and probably still do).

Touching reunions were great and all, but the last time Matt touched anyone it had been to steal their wallet.

“Why did you go?”

It was four A.M. and Matt knew the answer to that question, not in words but intuition. In the silence that came after he felt the answer spell itself out in goosebumps on the back of his neck. It was the kind of question that could only be asked at four A.M., only when the other person was sleeping. Mello wasn’t- at the moment or in general. Matt was realising this later than he should have (which was when he saw Mello again for the first time and counted without deciding to do so all the ways in which Mello had changed).

“Go to sleep,” Mello ordered from the pull-out mattress he’d demanded he take. Matt had offered him the bed. He hadn’t hoped they’d share it but he remembered when he had. Hope, however abstract, hinted at some actual belief. It was hard to believe Mello could bend him over and fuck him when he couldn’t sleep with a bedsheet touching his skin.

It was the burn. When Matt looked at Mello for the first time in years he’d seen the desperation in his eyes and the dark circles beneath them, the gaunt meanness that hadn’t been there before. He had seen the burn but hadn’t looked at it. Hadn’t processed it. Couldn’t.

“It’s just- how is that fair,” Matt muttered, lips sticking to his pillow. His back was turned to Mello and he looked to the alarm clock glowing through the room. If he looked back at Mello he would see him silhouetted in red like he might have been in so many night clubs, so many back alleys Matt would never go to or know about. The clock read 4:01. “I looked for you forever and you knew where I was the whole time. How is it fair that you got to show up whenever the hell you felt like it?”

“Go to sleep,” Mello said again. But he didn’t, and Matt didn’t.

II.

“Since when the fuck do you smoke?” Mello asked, hovering unsteadily in the doorway to the kitchen.

Matt had prepared for breakfast: removed bowl from sink, put cereal inside, told himself this would all be okay despite the weight of his certainty that things rarely were. Hence the state of his kitchen- the mouse shit in the corners, the takeaway cup and the moment it had become an ashtray. Hence this cigarette and the few that had already come before it. He had bought Cocoa Puffs, though. Mello might have been thanking him for that and years other things- his patience, for one.

But Matt didn’t want thanks. It had been years since he wanted anything at all.

“Thought you were a Catholic,” Matt said, dropping the cigarette in with all the others. It didn’t go out. “Since when did you become a Puritan?”

“I don’t mind,” Mello snapped, minding. “It was just a question.”

Matt looked at the ember still burning away in the cup, like the molten surface of a new planet or a very, very old one. Either just born or dying. “Is it the fire?”

“I said I don’t mind.”

Quickly, decisively, Matt poured what remained of the milk into the takeaway cup with a gurgle and a hiss.

“Fuck,” Mello gaped as the milk settled then turned grey. “Are you even going to throw that away?”

“Obviously,” Matt said, though it hadn’t been obvious at all. Mello would find worse in the place if he stayed long enough (and Matt hated thinking of Mello that way, as an if, but he’d forced himself to think that way for years now and he wasn’t about to undo all that progress).

(He had maybe five real skills and undoing progress was three of them).

Mello watched in horror as Matt chucked the thing, aimless and unlidded, into the bin without so much as a trash bag or a second look. But he let go of the doorframe and entered.

III.

Matt didn’t do much during the day but hack into savings accounts and masturbate, so he had a fair amount of time to teach Mello how to kick ass at Mario Kart.

Mello didn’t need to be taught much of anything, except sometimes A Lesson. But the silence was too much. It wasn’t that Mello was quiet. It’s that he was loud in all the wrong ways- banging around while he got ready (ready for what, Matt couldn’t determine, since he could barely walk around). Shouting obscenities whenever his flesh struck the most minute of obstacles. Putting on classical music while he took a shower just like back at Wammy’s. Fuck, breathing. But he didn’t say much. Matt didn’t say much either, but he figured he wasn’t the one who had to do all the explaining.

There were things that had changed about him over the years. One by one scars had accumulated, some long and thin, some raised and circular. He was an adult now, done with all the growing except aging. But sometimes he looked- really looked- at swaths of his bare skin for the first time in weeks. He saw the damage all at once and for all his stagnation, his sitting around in the quiet dark, he imagined himself changing shape. Sometimes after strung out nights he sat up to see his fisheye reflection in the old computer screen, face grey and shimmering like a mirage. He didn’t turn the computer on. He stared. When he could do anything he played video games. Working, talking, exercising: those were things people did to forget they were dying. Nothing else. Not to him.

Those were things he could not yet explain to himself.

“Second fucking place,” Mello grunted, tucking his knees beneath him as he leaned forward on the dingy couch. He chewed his lip and mashed the A button. P1 blinked in red on the screen. Matt was P2 underneath. The two of them again, rank and file. Listed in order. Festive music blared in the background and Mello smashed the button again.

“It’s not bad to be in second place for most of the race,” Matt said. “Mells. Wait a minute. You have to get to the scoreboards first- anyway. Sometimes it’s better to get there right at the end.”

“Yeah, only I didn’t.”

“Idiot, I mean you will.” Bowser’s Castle. The evil lair, the magma fire, the road laid out predetermined. A concrete and sudden ending. Matt felt cold. “I mean... when you’re in first place you don’t get any good items. And you’re a target. And there are some attacks that are only meant for you- blue shells. When you’re in second you can creep up without all those disadvantages. Sneak in.”

“Don’t get many items when you’re in second, either,” Mello said, and the countdown started. Mello had been ready the whole time and Matt was only just then leaning forward.

“But you get something,” Matt insisted, voice rising in panic before he had the chance to stop it. “And isn’t that...?”

3, 2, 1. Then there was only forward, only further away.

IV.

“Are we going to talk about it?” Matt asked when he found the bathroom redecorated with shards of glass, the mirror rearranged in gashes across the tile floor- and Mello, in the centre of it all, looking down with the lights turned off.

There was no answer, so he’d gotten his. He left Mello standing in the dark.

The next time he approached Mello, it was with caution and a handle of Pinnacle Chocolate Vodka. Mello never went anywhere unarmed and Matt was learning that neither should he.

“Wasn’t it your favourite?” Matt asked, almost indignant.

“It was. When I was thirteen and we slept in bunk beds.”

“Bunk bed,” Matt said. “You refused to sleep on the top.”

“So did you,” Mello accused.

“Yeah, but you were assigned to the top. And instead...”

And instead of speaking Matt remembered why he so often didn’t. He remembered that and other things- Mello curled up with his hair falling over his eyes, mouth soft and breathing slow. Matt knew theoretically that Mello often shared his bed, but most nights at Wammy’s Mello was awake when Matt went to sleep. He was awake when Matt woke up. If he ever set an alarm Matt didn’t hear it. He was an alarm- loud and existing in a constant state of anticipation. And then Mello downed half a bottle of the trashiest vodka the local degenerates could buy them and Matt saw him calm. Matt saw him still. And sure he’d spent the whole night raking his hands through his hair, ranting about Near, speaking in some Slavic language Matt couldn’t identify through the molten accent of liquor. But now-

Matt had turned away, closed his eyes and felt Mello’s chest expand against his back and shrink away. It was too private a moment to witness even as he inhabited it. But he remembered the way Mello looked. And now-

“Let’s give this another go,” Mello said, scar tissue whitening on the neck of the bottle.

Hours passed. The bottle was half-empty and then gone, in a moment, like so many things had been. Mello, for starters. Gone before Matt ever noticed him leaving. And Matt had smoked fourteen cigarettes with his torso and arms all the way out the window and Mello had unlaced the leather pants he insisted on wearing even though he could barely make it from the kitchen to the mattress. And the Game Cube controller was ripped off its cord and Matt had discovered the reason he loved video games in the first place- that they were a competition like the ones he disliked so much in the real world but in a video game what you worked for, you got. If you solved the puzzle, you won. If you beat the level, you moved forward. In video games everything was correct and in this world the love of his life couldn’t sleep with the sheets over his arms or tell him the truth, apparently. Video games were fair.

And Matt, of course, was drunk.

“How’d you get involved with the mafia in the first place?” he asked, sliding the window shut behind him. “Mean- I understand we got a particular set of skills. Didn’t exactly run away from Winchester to snag a part time at a Starbucks. I get how you got involved with them. How'd they get involved with you?”

“Same way anything else happens,” Mello said, sighing back into the cushions. He threw his legs up over the armrest. Matt hoped it was a sign of comfort but suspected it had more to do with the liquor. “With persistence. And persuasion.”

“Persistence. Persuasion.” Matt threw himself down on the couch, watching Mello’s hair rustle with the slight disturbance. “That supposed to be an answer?”

“No.”

“What, then?”

Mello flopped his head down then, hair spilling onto Matt’s thighs. Matt sucked in a gasp, face going red- willing his body, or parts of it, not to do what it very well might. Touching reunions were great and all, but the last time Matt had touched anyone it had been the steal their wallet. He was not in control of any potential hard-ons any more than he was in control of the rest of his life. Given the circumstance, that was to say, not at all. Whiskey dick was real but chocolate vodka dick had never stopped anyone in a night club bathroom, and it wouldn’t here. So he held his breath and ignored the swelling warmth inside him until Mello breathed again.

It was a long sigh. Matt looked down; Mello was looking up. Not at him or at anyone else. Matt could see all the places the shrapnel had entered his face and his eyes were clear and smooth like sea glass- crushed into form by every breaking wave.

“All I’ve got,” Mello said simply.

And Matt went cold. ‘What did they make you do?”

VI.

“Do you like that?” Mello asked in a language Matt couldn’t comprehend.

All Matt knew now were shape and colour, pressure and temperature, his chin dragging back and forth across the blanket as he felt Mello inside him in a different way from usual. Less metaphor. More handcuffs. The saliva on his lips. Mello’s fingernails cutting into his hips and the metal clinking behind his back. Again. Again. Himself, grinding against the comforter in unconscious defiance.

Mello drew in closer then, fingernails digging in so hard Matt felt the skin split. When he thrusted he felt the sting, the cold of the handcuffs now smashed into his flesh and the heat of Mello’s body all up and down his own. Mello’s hair on the back of his neck. Then one hand let go and Mello was pulling on his wrists, on the handcuffs. Matt’s shoulders jerked back and he let out a cry of pain and of wonder. Mello was right there and he was falling into the warmth building inside him.

His shoulders drew further and further back until his body was shaking from the effort of the exertion, from the pain running up and down his arms and from Mello’s other hand, moving down to this thigh and squeezing til the skin purpled. Matt moved against the blankets and Mello’s fingernails drew blood.

“What the fuck did I tell you?” Mello asked

“M-Mels?”

“I said don’t.”

VII.

And then unspoken as they showered, Mello holding his hair up and spitting curses when Matt rubbed the soap into his neck: did they ask or did you offer?

“It’s been a long time,” Matt said, as Mello’s hair flopped back down onto his skin. It was wet now and so heavy, not like what it really was- softer than air. And Matt saw now as he had every fucking time before that Mello was like air too, always moving higher and higher until there was absolutely nothing left. Pressing up against the edge of a vacuum. Mello spat as a stream of water trickled into his mouth and Matt wondered if he knew he looked too beautiful to be dangerous. It was exactly what made him so. “We’ve both done things we’re not proud of.”

“Not me,” Mello said, and turned the faucet off. Matt slid his arms around the clearest part of his stomach and in the quiet, tapwater slapped against the acrylic.

VIII.

“Mels?” Matt asked in the morning, staring down at an empty mattress.

He was up in a second in a panic, ripping off the covers Mello hadn’t used anyway when he heard the shower drumming away through the bullshit imitation of a living room wall. And the where are you? he’d almost said hung on his lips even though you didn’t need to ask questions to people who were already gone.

You didn’t need to, but he had.

He took a minute to breathe, sliding down between his bed and the mattress on the floor. If Mello was there right now he’d be staring right at him, but he wasn’t. Already taking showers on his own. Not only bearing the pain alone but preferring it. And here was Matt, annihilating a cigarette ass naked staring at his ex-and-current everything’s pillow-

There did appear to be something under it, though. He lifted it up.

On one side: never mention this note is you forgive me.

The other: never mention this note if you’re willing to let me stay.

Matt handled it the way he did most things: thoughtlessly, and with dead certainty. He stood up and he walked to the window, where rain was hammering against the glass. He held the note out until the paper melted against his skin. Until the words blurred into liquid.

The shower turned off, and Matt heard footsteps.

He hoped Mello wasn’t wearing a towel.

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paytonspassport · 7 years ago

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A Freudian Trip: Day 8

Oh boy. Buckle up. This was a wonderful but very busy Friday. Since we had stayed up talking, I slept in a bit, then I met Crystal at the Karlsplatz U bahn station so we could find the Albertina museum. It took us a little while to find it but once we did, we realized it was about three blocks over from our school center. We’d passed by it many times before without even recognizing it. At least on the way back we knew where we were. The Albertina is museum with a huge collection that spans across a wide variety of artists, periods, and styles. Their crown jewels are Monet’s “Water Lily Pond,” Degas' “Dancers” and Renoir's “Girl” and a whole room full of Picasso, in addition to dozens of other names Crystal recognized from a high school art history class. I recognized like, 3 or 4 other names. They currently have exhibits on Egon Schiele, an Austrian painter who was Klimt’s protege and had a unique (and really weird and morbid) style, Maria Lassnig, a more modern Austrian artist who really lost us after the first two pieces, and Eduard Angeli, another Austrian artist whose more minimal art we both actually enjoyed very much.

Schiele’s least weird piece.

Crystal staring in confusion at Lassnig’s work.

One of my two favorite pieces by Angeli.

Crystal and the Waterlilies.

This one reminds me of a print in my Grandma Sue’s house!

I’m worried about my future museum excursions because at this point, my feet were tired. I definitely need to work on my standing stamina if I’m going to survive first Sunday of the month free museum day. They also had some of the Hapsburg family’s furniture and rooms, as the Albertina was their largest residential palace. Those people had a lot of money and definitely spared no expense in their decoration.

I went home to make lunch, and then took a shower to get ready for the Concordia Ball. Olivia and I were not sure if anyone in Vienna takes photos before a ball but we decided we didn’t care and wanted photos anyways. We had dinner then took the tram to the city center, which was a hilarious ride. If we stood out as tourists when we were lost or speaking English, we definitely stood out in our prom dresses. We went to the Volksgarten rose garden by the Imperial Palace and took photos then met our friends at the city hall where the ball would be held. We took more photos there, and next door at the gorgeous parliament building.

Dresses on the tram...

We were grateful people were mostly staring at the flowers and not at us...

We showed up to city hall right when the doors opened at 9 and filed in with the rest of the fabulously dressed ballgoers. There were so many people ranging from our age to retired, all dressed in their best and ready to dance. We entered and walked up red carpeted stairs until we reached the ball room and were wowed by the beauty and hugeness of the space, and with how much our feet already hurt from standing and our shoes.

The opening ceremony started at 10 with several performances. There were beautiful dancers from a dance school in Vienna, and because this ball was themed “Come Dance With Me,” the title of an Indian movie, the ball was also Bollywood themed and featured several very talented Bollywood dance groups both from Vienna and from India. From there, it was open dancing with live music. If you found yourself there without a date, or happened to have a date who had a drink to finish when you wanted to keep dancing, they have a brilliant system called Taxitanzen. Tanzen means “to dance,” and the whole system is there are a dozen men ranging from about 20 and up who are excellent dancers and are wearing sashes, marking them as people who will dance with you if you’re there alone and will do their best to teach you. I partook in this Taxitanzen system to dance a tango (the word dance is used loosely, my partner was very patient and probably grateful he was wearing close toed shoes). While I was waiting in the Taxitanzen area for my roommate to come back from dancing with one of the sashed fellows, an older Austrian gentleman (who wasn’t creepy, but very sweet, and wasn’t part of the taxitanzen system) asked me to dance and although he couldn’t speak English, I couldn’t dance, and neither of us could remember which foot to start on, tried to teach me to waltz. It was funny and embarrassing, but I’m sure I’ll get it down by my next Viennese ball.

Around midnight, the quadrille started. We struggled our way through, and to be fair, most other people did too, even though the master of ceremonies was singing out the instructions. This little dance lasted till 12:30, which was when I ducked out for a snack and met an Austrian government worker who had been to 17 balls this year. Goals. Around 2, things opened up to other rooms: a jazz room down the hall and a “disco tech” in the courtyard where they were playing a variety of German, American, Indian, and Spanish music and teaching Bollywood style dances to the crowd. My friends and I went down there since our sashed partners were free of their duty for the evening and danced until our feet hurt. Olivia and I ended up going home around 3:30, collecting little party favors with rolls, tea, and advertisements from the ball’s sponsors, and walked the last stretch to our apartment in the early dawn light to bird song. After some google translating the next morning, we decided they were essentially hangover cure packs, and we were super grateful we didn’t need them for that.

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