#To be clear: I felt the same way even when Buddie was the only ship in town

[userautumn]

Easily the most bizarre thing to happen in the 9-1-1 fandom this year was the ship war making it to the mainstream press with obvious Buddie biased writers promoting their viewpoints using their legitimate, paid journalism jobs. Not discourse (or if it is, I don't know about it because I have the 9-1-1 tag filtered), I've just never seen so many people en masse decide they want to fandomify their careers as a gotcha in a ship war. Totally fuckin odd.

[inawickedlittletown]

No Queerbaiting Here

A long time ago…I’m talking May of 2021, I wrote a meta post about queerbaiting. Essentially an essay. I wrote it right before the S4 finale of 9-1-1 aired because I was frustrated by Buddie fans calling Queerbait entirely like the boy that cried wolf. I still stand by it. Sort of. 

Now, even back then I was pretty clear about how 50/50 I was on Buddie ever going canon. (Maybe not in that post but certainly elsewhere) But, I shipped Buddie then and wrote a lot of fic and meta and participated in fandom. I never said it couldn’t happen…I just would never be bothered if it didn’t.

Where we stand now: It’s not going to happen. 

And where I stand now: fully immersed in Bucktommy. And what’s more, I am more than perfectly happy about Buck and Tommy staying together and going the long-run. Although I can still look at Buddie and think it’s a cute ship, I just don’t want it in canon. I would not be satisfied if the show went that way. But what’s more if Buck and Tommy don’t work out, that would be disappointing, but I’d be okay as long as they got to be happy. There is, after all, always fanfiction. 

So, I wanted to revisit this concept a bit now that Buck has been confirmed as Bisexual and now that he is in a relationship with a man. Not Eddie. Tommy. And somehow, some Buddie fans are still crying queerbait because their ship is not canon. That’s not how it works. Also…shipping works outside of canon, that’s the whole point of shipping. 

To reiterate from my original post on queerbaiting, here’s the definition from wikipedia:

“Queerbaiting is a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then do not actually depict, same-sex romance or other LGBTQ representation. They do so to attract a queer or straight ally audience with the suggestion of relationships or characters that appeal to them, while at the same time attempting to avoid alienating other consumers.” 

Here’s where I stand: Buddie was abandoned a long time ago. If it was ever a real possibility, we won’t ever know. What we do know is that Oliver was aware that at one point he had given them the go-ahead to make Buck Bi. Whether this was by putting Buck and Eddie together or having Buck realize this another way, we just don’t know that. We don’t have that information and nor will it probably ever be provided to us. Narratively, I know that a lot of fans figured the timing of it fit with S4 and that particular finale but we really just don’t know despite what happened in the finale.

I found that interesting looking back at my own post from back then and the discussion that followed where some fans felt that the way the finale went would determine if Buddie would be another queerbait ship. (I think most people agreed after the will scene that it wasn’t queerbait because it did leave a kernel of hope that Buddie might still happen). 

And yeah, I guess you could argue that the network deciding not to go the route of a queer storyline points to missed opportunity. That doesn’t then mean that any queerbaiting occurred or that any fans are owed anything just because something that was set up or that the writers were writing towards was then scrapped by the network. Is it a shame that it didn’t happen in whatever way they wanted to play it out, sure, but only because Buck would have been confirmed queer earlier. In the same vein isn’t it nice that we have a confirmed Bisexual Buck now? That the show managed to bring it back to that.

A Buck that is happy and free and that has realized something so monumental about himself? Isn’t it nice that all the queer coding that Buck as a character has received since the start of the show is actually finally not just queer coding but full on character development? That we can look back at the show and see all the things Buck did around other men for exactly what they were. 

When Tommy first returned to 9-1-1 in S7, I think a lot of us were excited by the spoilers about Buck and Tommy because of Bi Buck, but also because this was the thing that could lead to Buddie. 

And then…then Tommy was actually on my screen and I doubted it. I actually thought maybe the spoilers were wrong and this was about Eddie and Tommy? That episode flipped things in such an expertly way that by the time Tommy and Buck were sharing a kiss for the first time I was right there with Buck. On a second watch, it is all there. Buck was never jealous because his friend was ignoring him. He was jealous because his best friend had the attention of the guy whose attention he wanted for himself. The writing on that was perfect and no amount of twisting it can change what happened on screen. 

Buck was not jealous because of Eddie. Tommy was never interested in more than friendship with Eddie. And Buck and Tommy have nothing to do with Buddie. Tommy is not a stepping stone, a way for Buck to be ready to then embark on a relationship with Eddie. That’s both disrespectful to Tommy and Buck, but just not what the story being told on the show is doing. 

The storyline is monumental. Having a big strong guy, a firefighter, figure out his sexuality in his thirties is such good storytelling and add to that Tommy. Someone that we already know, who already works as a first responder, and who can show up and wow Buck in such a way that he realizes something about himself? This is what I’ve always wanted. Because guess what, Buck never questioned his sexuality before this. Not when he met Eddie and not when he met anyone else, not until Tommy. 

Going into the new season we know a few things and one of those is that Buck and Tommy are thriving. The media coverage talks about them as a solid couple, it talks about Buck having someone to turn to and complain to. It talks about how they are still in the getting to know each other phase and I love that for them. I love how they are being treated and described and I can’t wait to see what plays out for them and how much of the build up of their relationship we may get to actually see. 

Do you know what the media and the show never talked about outwardly like this? Buddie. Whenever it came up it was always brushed aside in a way that was respectful to fans and what they saw, but without ever confirming or hinting that the show would ever go there. They never queerbaited anyone with Buddie, what they have done is say “yeah…we know what you see” and then turned around and given us a Buck and Eddie friendship and Buck kissing Tommy, going on a date with Tommy, and thriving with Tommy. 

So, no queerbaiting here on the show where half of the major canon pairings are queer. It’s actually more like some fans baiting other fans with theories and headcanons that just don’t fit.

[buddiebeginz]

I'm thankful for the Buddie scenes we got in this episode even though I wish we could have gotten so much more. In some ways I'm even thankful for the B/T scene we got because it creates a really stark contrast between the two ships.

It's clear that Buck's heart and soul are with Eddie and Chris. That while he might be attracted to T*mmy that relationship isn't about anything deeper. There's so much more they could have done with B/T in this episode if they wanted them to matter.

They could have actually defined if they’re in a relationship for one. Buck went the whole season without ever even saying boyfriend. They could have had T*mmy at the hospital with Buck yet they didn't. They could have used the dinner scene as a way for Buck and the audience to get to know Tommy more. For us to see him be supportive of Buck. He’s always just snippy or sarcastic and this scene didn’t help that. Instead of showing empathy for what Buck had been through, for his real fear of losing the only father figure Buck has known T*mmy was again dismissive (like we've seen from him with Buck multiple times before). His response to Buck talking about how he thought he almost lost Bobby this time is, “your father's alive." Worse he decides to be weirdly sexually in a conversation that really didn't warrant it in my opinion. And I have nothing against being kinky (99% of the fics I read are smut) but like there's a time and a place. Maybe when your date is talking about their dad almost dying isn't the best time to talk about your daddy kink. Just a thought.

I do wish Tim would have given us more of a signal where things are going with Buddie. I feel like there has been way to much use of Buddie to get people to watch (especially in the interviews) for them to not be a little more clear.

Also I feel like you can't make an episode like 704 where Buck clearly wanted Eddie's attention to not pick that back up even in a small way at the end of the season. We should have at least had hug between them and a moment. Nothing major. it didn't have to be an oh moment or an almost kiss but something a little more than what we got from the hug in 705. Just enough to let us know this is the direction things are moving it.

I've been really sure Buddie is in the plans (and I still believe that) but at the same time I also feel unsure of when that's going to happen. I felt certain Tim was going to give us some clue in the finale. Like I said I loved what we did get but at this point we deserve more. I know Buck only just came out and I know they had a short season. Obviously they weren't going to have both Buck and Eddie come out in the same season, still Tim knows how popular Buddie is and that many people watch just for them he needs to stop dragging his feet and pick a clear direction.

[eruhamster]

heya i'm thinking of reading tgcf and was wondering is beefleaf canon? i wasn't sure going by the fandom stuff i've seen so far but your post says it is? whcih would be great, I'd love two romances in one book!!

Ah, sorry for leading you on. So it's not officially canon, but it's heavily implied that He Xuan harbors feelings for SQX and doesn't want to admit it. It's in the same vein as Pei Ming and the Rain Master; you can get a good feeling of what is likely going on in the characters' heads, but Xie Lian has a tendency to not really pay attention to the romantic lives of the people around him (and -that- is canonical and he even laments being too stuck in his own brain to notice Feng Xin was courting someone).

If you don't mind spoilers:

He Xuan's true self comes through every once in a while in the text and you can usually tell when it's his true feelings or thoughts based on his tone or if he's interacting directly with Hua Cheng. His real self is very heavy; Xie Lian notes sometimes that his tone and words are very oppressive and dark, and every time in those instances it's who He Xuan really seems to be. An example of this is when Xie Lian feeds them both stew that was already awful because he made it, but also poisoned further by Hua Cheng:

Not stomach; heart. The true He Xuan tells him his heart is overtaken by demons. And when you think about this as to who he is as a character - he has hung around SQX for hundreds of years, buddy-buddy with him, even transforming as a girl with him just because SQX asks him to. They're clearly very close, and even once He Xuan has easy chances to kill him in the midst of him taking revenge, he doesn't bother and actively protects SQX from harm. He saves SQX life a few times. He actively tries to keep him from Shi Wudu and gets angry when he picks his brother over him. He even tells SQX he was giving him chances.

And still, he keeps SQX alive. He doesn't even take his fate back. And in fact, he repairs SQX's broken fan and gives it back. If you parse through every interaction they have, every single instance of He Xuan saying anything, it becomes fairly clear that he only bears ill will toward Shi Wudu, and seems to be furious both at himself for not having the heart to hate SQX (and perhaps thinks it's because of all the ghosts he's eaten, and thus why he thinks he needs an exorcism?), and furious at SQX for not siding entirely with him. And with that push-and-pull game comes the parallel of He Xuan losing his sister and fiancee, and seemingly playing into that trauma during his revenge by chaining SQX up and letting him get felt up by a bunch of beggars in front of Shi Wudu - so he is giving Shi Wudu the taste of having his little brother/sister, often depicted as his wife by mortals, get the same sort of treatment that his sister and fiancee had been given. I think it's very purposeful that it was written that way - that He Xuan lost a fiancee, and Shi Wudu is depicted by mortals as having SQX as a wife. And He Xuan is jealous of SQX picking Shi Wudu over him, quite clearly in the text. There's a million instances of it, but here's one:

And if you dissect further, it seems that he may have specifically been trying to enact a plan to get revenge on Shi Wudu in a way where he could still hang around SQX as Ming Yi; he actively keeps them separated till the last moment and seems panicked or angry every time Xie Lian gets closer to revealing him, and all the work he -tried- to do to reveal the truth to SQX was through things like shadow ghosts or while dressed as a ghost in a ghost mask.

And even once it's over and he shows up again, he acts the same as he always did toward SQX; grumpy, but sarcastically so, and with no real menacing aura. Even when he hits him, in the text it's clear he doesn't actually hurt SQX at all, and later, he even laughs:

So while Beefleaf is a popular ship that isn't canon, I think at least He Xuan's infatuation with him is like... Borderline canon. It seems heavily implied. Particularly since it mirrors Hua Cheng so well. And I do not think, honestly, that Hua Cheng would work so closely with a ghost so outwardly venomous. It's made pretty clear in the story that the ghosts Hua Cheng surrounds himself with are decent people, and sometimes just want a bit of revenge that Hua Cheng would deem fair.

And I think specifically there's a lot of room for it that makes it clear it really could be a matter of Xie Lian being oblivious to others' love lives like he has in the past. I mean, he keeps thinking Pei Ming's obsession with Rain Master is purely not wanting to be upstaged by a woman when that's -clearly- not the case. There's tons of instances where SQX is clearly not giving Xie Lian the whole truth of what happened between him and He Xuan, and I think there's a lot to grapple with about why that would be so. But I would definitely say it's like... Like to say "He Xuan falls in love with SQX" is not just headcanon, it is a very easy interpretation of what's going on, and specifically due to the parallels in the story (two ghosts obsessed with two gods so thoroughly they become supremes, one's obsession from love and one's obsession from hatred), and the relevance of wife/fiancee and SQX's genderfluidity, I think that it's likely intentionally set up this way.

TL;DR it's sort of in the same vein as like... Yeah technically Bert and Ernie aren't married but you'd be an idiot to not see what's right in front of you. It's that kind of 'not actually canon.'

[schrijverr]

I Didn’t Mean to Say I Do, but I Do. I Do. 28

Chapter 28 out of 50

Secret marriage of convenience buddie slow burn AU, where Buck and Eddie have been married for years so Buck could adopt Chris and no one at the 118 knows.

In this chapter, Eddie struggles with missing Buck while he is staying with Maddie. He is forced to confront the reality that some day, he’ll have to do it alone, while they’re out on calls without C.A.D. to direct them.

On AO3.

Ships: Buddie (slow burn)

Warnings: internalized misogyny, internalized homophobia, insecurity, injury, near death experience

~~~

Chapter 28: Damn Sure Not Ready

Buck has been living in Maddie’s dining room for three weeks already. It felt weird to just let him go like that, but Eddie wasn’t going to stop him from helping his sister. He knew he had to do it, just like he knew in that hospital. Explaining to Chris was a little harder, but he has a big heart and he is used to them not being there for a while to help people.

For the past week, Maddie has been gearing up to go back to work and she keeps saying that she is ready to get back out there and wants to pick up her life again. However, she never tells Buck to go, so he is still staying.

But last shift Buck informed Eddie that he’ll be going home soon, since she has a redo of her first date after her first day back at work.

It’s clear he’s a little anxious about how she’s handling it, but he is letting her go. Eddie tries to be supportive, saying he can always go back if he feels she needs it, but he is also encouraging him to let her have her space again. To at least let her try.

Part of it is because he genuinely wants Maddie to be able to move on and have the life she deserves now that Doug is definitively behind her. However, he can also admit that another part of it is because he wants to have Buck back.

Naturally, it’s not as if Buck disappeared. The two of them work together for fifty or so hours every week, which means that Eddie can’t call himself deprived of Buck’s presence. Yet, there is no denying that he’s been spoiled for his best friend’s company. He’s way too used to spending 24/7 together and he never realized how much he liked it until Buck wasn’t there.

And it’s also not that he can say that he didn’t see Buck outside of work at all. Buck made sure he was home for a day each weekend they were off to take Chris to do something fun. Plus, he convinced Maddie he takes walks after dinner by himself, which he used as a cover to call Chris to do bedtime each night he wasn’t working, so he wouldn’t miss out. This probably made it easier for Chris that he wasn’t there all the time for a bit.

In fact, when Eddie thinks about it, Buck made a great effort to be present, even when he couldn’t physically be there.

Yet, Eddie feels his absence so heavily. It should be worrying. Hell, it is worrying. It’s not as if he’s struggling. Carla the saint helps with meal prepping and Buck makes sure there are left overs when he’s there, plus they go and visit tía Pepa, who cooks and gives them food to take home. So, they’re set on the food front.

And taking care of Chris is easy. He and Buck work same hours and carpool, so they have a system to bring Chris to school that he can just do by himself, while Buck drives to work from Maddie’s place.

Bedtime also isn’t a problem, he loves tucking in Chris, even if Buck is better at doing the voices when reading to Chris. And Buck is there on the phone too. So, it’s close to how it usually is.

Homework is a little bit of a struggle, since he doesn’t dive into topics like Buck does and he’s only a high school graduate, who forgot almost everything he learned. He’s never been good at school and Chris has the misfortune of inheriting his skills in subjects, so he struggles with the same things Eddie struggled with. That’s not great. But Chris isn’t at too high a level yet, so it’s only a minor problem for now.

All in all, it’s not that much harder than doing it with Buck. Despite being a little nervous, since he’s never truly been solely responsible for Chris, it goes well. Eddie lives.

So, Buck being gone shouldn’t be such a big deal. He sees him plenty at work and his world at home doesn’t crash and burn without him, even if it’s a lot at times. Eddie really shouldn’t be missing him as much as he does. Shouldn’t feel his absence the way he does.

However, he does. He so does.

He misses Buck so much and it’s at the weirdest times too. Mostly when it’s late at night and Chris is already in bed and he is sitting on the couch, watching his shows without having a mock argument about it. Or when he’s brushing his teeth by himself in the empty bathroom. Or when it’s morning after a long shift and Chris is at school, so he’s sitting by himself at the counter, eating some cereal.

But it’s also when Chris is home. When he’s trying to heat up the food, keep the house a bit tidy and clean, but Chris needs help with homework or wants to finish what he’s doing before dinner, but Eddie needs to know what to pack in his bag for the next day, or chores have piled up and suddenly it’s overwhelming and he wishes for a second pair of hands. For Buck.

Eddie knows logically that he can do it alone. He’s been coping just fine these past three weeks, which have proven as much. However, he can’t help but feel slightly inadequate. As if Buck would have done it better. Probably did do better when Eddie was in Afghanistan.

He tries not to get too hung up on it, in fact, he tries to ignore how much he misses Buck, but he’s still excited for today. When Buck is coming home with him at the end, instead of awkwardly saying goodbye, both reveling in how weird it is, without being able to comment on it, because they’re not supposed to be living together.

His good mood is boosted by Harry’s class being there. He himself isn’t too big on kids that aren’t Chris, but Buck adores them and it’s clear on his face. Plus, despite not being too big on them, it is kind of fun to see their awed faces when he shows them the trucks.

Then the message comes through that C.A.D. is down, which sucks. It means a long day for all of them and emergencies that might be harder to get to.

For the first part it’s just annoying. The rig isn’t that comfortable and is prone to swaying, so their asses are wood about half an hour in and they keep arriving on calls where others are already helping or arriving at addresses that aren’t right.

That is before Sonya.

She is far from the first geriatric birth they’ve been called to, but they are later than they would have liked and she is definitely not making it to the hospital on time. It’s going to be a birth in the lobby of her apartment complex.

Eddie grimaces internally, hoping she has a good relationship with the neighbors, because a good chunk of them are about to get real familiar with her vagina with how they’re all standing there and watching. Then the thought gets washed away as they all focus on helping her.

She gives birth to a beautiful baby boy and they all let out a relieved breath as they gently hold the baby, successfully parted from his mother. Eddie can’t help but smile as the dad takes in his son, automatically thinking back to the day Chris was born, the best day of his life.

He is pulled from his thoughts by Hen freaking out, Sonya had gone into shock and is crashing hard. They have to get her and the baby to a hospital as fast as they can, but they only have one ambulance.

With no time to wait, Eddie finds himself in the truck, sitting across from the father and Buck, who is hovering to make sure the baby is okay.

It’s a little trippy, watching Buck like that. He never saw Buck with a baby, barely saw him with a toddler, since Chris was already four by the time Eddie met Buck. With how chaotic this birth is, he can’t help but think of Shannon and how scared he’d been for both her and Chris when all the doctors started to swoop in.

Watching Buck now, he wonders how he would have fared had he been there, then wonders why he’s even thinking about that, before pushing it down. It’s not the time.

They arrive at the hospital and Buck and Eddie help father and son out of the truck as fast as they can, so the two can join Sonya as she is wheeled to the OR.

Instead, they find her unmoving, the doctors not rushing to save her. It doesn’t take long to realize what must have happened on the way there, one glance at Hen, who is already starting to break down in the back of the ambulance, only confirms it. They lost Sonya.

Roger, the husband, looks dazed as he practically stumbles towards his wife, the shock of just losing his loved on not yet settling in. He strokes her hair, before he chokes out: “You were right. He’s perfect.” Tears start to well up as he goes on: “I wish you could see him. I know I was scared and worried that we weren’t ready for this, and I am damn sure not ready to do this without you, but I will. I’m gonna figure it out.”

His words hit them all in the solar plexus as they watch him lay their son on her chest, so she can at least hold him one time. Just the one time.

Eddie wants to reach out to him, tell him it’s going to be okay, even if it feels devastating and impossible right now. He could tell him about Shannon, about getting those papers in the Afghan desert or finding them on his coffee table with her gone. That’s how he is supposed to relate to him, what he is supposed to think off.

But that isn’t what comes to mind first, instead he thinks of the last three weeks. Of how impossible doing it alone felt, even when he let Buck go. How he managed anyway, even if it wasn’t the same, wasn’t as easy or as fun as it would have been with him.

The whole route his thoughts take trips him up and he is glad that he can push them all down and focus on something else when the heart monitor kicks on again. He feels Sonya’s neck and loudly declares: “She got a pulse,” as around him a flurry of motion starts up.

Doctors starts wheeling Sonya in and Roger barely has time to turn around and thank them, even if none of them feel like they helped.

Eddie is still trying to comprehend how they got from A to B and he finds himself saying: “That- that was amazing.”

“No, that was a miracle,” Buck tells him, his voice is closer than Eddie would have thought as he leans in.

The familiar voice so close to his ear somehow sends a shiver down his spine, which isn’t normal and he doesn’t know what to do with it. He tries to reason with himself that it’s just because they went through something pretty intense and he wasn’t expecting him so close. He merely got startled, that’s it. He isn’t used to Buck so close after three weeks of him not being home.

Deep down he knows it’s all nonsense and he hates that he can’t fully push it away as he looks out of the truck window while they drive around aimlessly through the streets of LA.

He can’t help but think of Roger’s words. He can relate, he knows that he for sure wasn’t ready for Chris, him running for the hills immediately proved as much, no matter the fact that he came back again.

However, it’s not that, which his brain has decided to loop. Instead, it keeps repeating: ‘I am damn sure not ready to do this without you, but I will,’ over and over again.

And Eddie’s stupid brain keeps dragging him back to the difficult parts of the last three weeks, completely erasing everything that went right. He also wasn’t ready to do it alone, much like the first time his co-parent suddenly had to leave. But last time Buck stepped in, this time it was Buck who had to go.

Of course he still had Carla and tía Pepa, but it wasn’t the same. He can figure it out, but it’s not what he planned. They’re not the person he wants to count on. But he will. He had to. Because he is now suddenly confronted with the reminder that some day Buck will find someone he loves and they’ll divorce like they’d always said and Eddie will have to do it alone. And he’s not ready for that.

The knowledge sits uncomfortably on his skin and he feels jittery, wanting to get it out. When Chim directs them to a call from the news that no one is responding to, he feels almost relieved that he can direct his nervous energy somewhere else than internally.

Then they discover just how rough and difficult this call will be and it is Buck, who gets send on the ladder, since Eddie is the probationary firefighter between them.

He doesn’t begrudge him, even if he would have liked to do something more than knock on doors, before watching Buck save the kid. He never does well when kids close to Chris’s age are in danger and this is no exception. With the way he was feeling before the call, his hands are just itching to do something.

His adrenaline spikes again, when the ladder suddenly gives out under Buck and he falls, barely managing to catch himself. He’s lucky he’s close enough to the ground that he can just drop down, because they are already low on resources.

Eddie’s first instinct is to run towards Buck, see if he’s okay so they can figure out together what the next step is.

Immediately he’s annoyed with himself. Buck is clearly fine. He shouldn’t let himself revolve his life around the other so much, it’s not what he’s supposed to be doing and it’s not going to be his life forever anyway.

Besides, he can do things just fine without Buck. Without anyone. He’s going to have to do things by himself at some point, it’s not like he’s a helpless baby. And the kid is still in danger. Eddie needs to get him out. The kid should be his priority.

So when Bobby goes to check on Buck like Eddie wants to do, he turns to run to the truck and gathers the stuff he needs, already halfway up the pipe by the time anyone realizes what he’s doing.

He’s just working on instinct alone, driven by the adrenaline and need to be doing something, to prove to that part of his brain, which sounds annoyingly close to his papi, that he can do this. That he is enough by himself. That he can help this kid, just like he can help Chris. That he won’t drag him down with him.

Meanwhile Buck’s heart is lurching to his throat as he watches Eddie balance on top of the roof of the burning house without anyone to spot him. Without Buck spotting him, specifically. He’s just up there, ready to fall to his death – or a critical injury – at any time.

He reminds himself that Eddie is an army medic, who probably did crazier stuff while Buck was at home trying to convince Chris that broccoli is a nice vegetable. He is going to be fine. He’s done stupid shit on the clock with Buck there before, this isn’t anything new. Even if those times Buck was holding his safety rope, assured in the fact he was keeping Eddie safe.

Bobby is beside him, also watching Eddie go. Buck quickly covers his anxiety through deflecting by commenting: “I feel like if I ever did that, you would yell at me.”

Buck doesn’t get a response beyond a look that tells him he’s right. He didn’t expect much and, in a way, it is soothing. Bobby believes in Eddie and thinks he’s going to make it out, enough to be out here talking casually to him, before sending him to check if everyone made it out.

This is confirmed when Eddie’s voice comes over the radio: “Cap, I got him. Alive but unconscious. I’m prepping for evac.”

But it seems the universe loves to fuck with Buck, because there is an explosion immediately after, rocking the house. Then they hear Eddie radio: “Cap! Negative on evac. Pinned down, south side of the house.”

“I’m gonna take an extinguisher! If I can make that jump, I can help Eddie!” Buck is ready to get into action, who cares if he can break his legs, Eddie is in there and he’s pinned. He needs help and it is Buck’s job to go help him.

He almost fights Bobby off, only the sound of the planes stopping him. Inside, Eddie is a little annoyed at the news, knowing he’s going to get doused and it will suck. From their respective hiding spots, both hold their breath as they brace for impact.

The moment it’s safe to move, Buck is crawling out from under the truck and moving towards the house, ready to go get Eddie wherever he might be. Before he can make it in, however, Eddie is already coming out, Alex in his arms, seemingly haloed by light like an angel.

His appearance takes Buck’s breath away, even when he’s all covered in soot and for a split second, he knows all his emotions are on his face. Fortunately he manages to push them away by the time they’ve established Alex is okay, clapping Eddie on the back as he hides behind his jokes like always. “So, uh, what’s up with the Spider-man routine?”

Eddie is coming down from the adrenaline high, exhaustion setting in as he catches his breath, mindlessly answering: “I don’t know. I just did it. And prayed a lot.”

Bobby’s hand comes down on his back too for a second as he says: “Yeah, it looks like someone was listening,” before he walks off to deal with the final fall out of the call.

Slowly reality comes filtering back in and he catches Buck’s eyes as he is looking him over. Looking for injuries, Eddie realizes. Guilt creeps in as he realized just how stupid his little stunt had been, how worried Buck must have been.

They do stupid shit every day, but they usually have each other’s backs. They promised to have each other’s backs. Today Eddie went off on his own like a wild card, leaving Buck behind. He must have been worried out of his mind.

“Are you okay?” Buck asks, his eyes big with concern.

“I’m fine,” Eddie bristles, his emotions taking yet another turn. He was fine on his own, Buck doesn’t need to hover like he’s incompetent. He will leave one day and Eddie will have to do it alone anyway. Why bother now?

Buck rears back a little, before he frowns: “You sure? Irritability can be a symptom of low blood sugar, that rescue must have hit you in the carb storage. I have a snack somewhere in the truck, I think.”

And the comment is even more babying, which rubs Eddie in all the wrong ways, but it’s also Buck, who is saying it. Buck never sounds judgmental, instead he sounds worried, yet lighthearted and joking. It’s just Buck, who is worried, so he’s cracking jokes and trying to coax him into getting some care. Buck isn’t his father, he won’t just up and leave and he doesn’t judge Eddie.

Fondly Eddie rolls his eyes, threatening: “If you pull out one of your stupid green juice pouches, I’m going to kick you.”

“Oeh, how violent,” Buck heckles back. “You sure you didn’t run into a rat in there, we might have to get you a rabies shot.”

“Oh shut up and get me a snack.”

“Bossy, bossy,” Buck tuts, but he doesn’t seem to mind, his normal smile back on his face.

The snack he has, as it turns out, is a Paw Patrol fruit bar that they got for Chris, even though he is too old for it. It doesn’t have any added sugars on Buck’s insistence, which Eddie finds a shame, even if it’s a pretty nice thing to munch on. Though, Eddie must admit, he feels a little bit like an idiot when eating it.

Eddie nods off on the drive back. C.A.D. is back up and running and their shift is thankfully nearly done. Buck’s shoulder is covered in soot when they get at the firehouse. Eddie finds himself glaring at the dark smudge for reasons he doesn’t understand, before he tears himself away to take a shower and get all the soot off himself.

They don’t have any calls for their final hour and Eddie naps on the couch some more. He misses Chris and wants to go home, but he’s also nervous about going home.

No, not nervous. He just feels weird. He doesn’t like that he’s feeling weird. This morning, he was excited to go home, but today has been confusing and awful and now he’s being weird about Buck being home instead.

He is a little glad they couldn’t carpool this morning and blasts his music as loud as he can over the speakers in the hope it will help.

The two of them pull up at about the same time and Eddie follows Buck onto their porch. Usually, he’d let Buck unlock the door, too lazy and tired to grab his own keys, but today, he feels the need to do it himself, ignoring Buck’s brows at the action.

Chris is waiting with Carla, cheering excitedly when they return. He has been missing Buck a little these past three weeks, so he jumps in his arms first.

Despite not wanting to, Eddie feels a little resentful that he doesn’t get to hug Chris first after the call they had today. He needs to be sure Chris is okay. It’s irrational, but it always happens after calls like these.

When Buck hands Chris over to him, because he also knows that, Eddie feels slightly guilty for feeling that, even though he’s mostly distracted by hugging Chris.

They say their goodbyes to Carla and Buck starts up dinner as Eddie and Chris sit at the table. He has a worksheet for science that is about biology, which means Eddie is perfectly equipped to help him and check his answers. It’s nice and cozy, just the two of them at the table, while Buck is puttering in the background and there is not a whole household to worry about.

Eddie and Chris knock out the worksheet before dinner, then all of them eat together. It’s mostly Buck and Chris, who talk. Eddie has always preferred to listen.

He feared that the weird feeling would chase him even further into the evening, but listening to them – as Buck’s explanation about C.A.D. and what Maddie told him about what they used instead delves further and further into weird details until they’ve left it behind them and it has devolved into a conversation about morse code and flag communication – settles something in his bones.

This feels good. It feels right.

Eddie can just shove all those weird feelings into a box and forget about it as he writes it off as just having a weird day. Who can blame him? Their whole usual system had been thrown off, of course he’d feel a little out of it. He’s fine now. It’s all fine.

Everything is as normal, no need to think about the future and it’s uncertainty when Chris is right there leaning against him, Buck’s arm thrown over the back of the couch as the three of them watch Tarzan, because the talk about different communication systems went to learning languages to animals learning languages to gorillas and then to Tarzan.

And when Eddie nods off, because he’s had a long rough day, he’s woken by Chris’s giggles and Buck’s muffled laughter. Familiar, comforting. Even if he has to give them a bleary glare over it, because he has a reputation to uphold.

That night they all brush their teeth together. Buck drooling toothpaste everywhere, because he’s trying to multitask brushing Chris’s teeth with his own. As payback for laughing at him for nodding off, Eddie lets him struggle while he finishes brushing his own teeth, before taking over, because doing it like this won’t do.

Buck is excited about getting to tuck Chris in properly again after three weeks over the phone and Eddie feels nothing but fond. He’s glad for it. Glad that he can officially leave the weirdness behind him.

He sleeps very well and deep, snuggled under the covers with the knowledge that he doesn’t have an alarm for the next morning and it’s definitely Buck’s turn to do the laundry this weekend.

The following morning, he’s woken up by Chris clambering into his bed. It’s a pretty usual morning greeting, so he’s not even startled by it, only half opening his eyes as Chris says: “Daddy, you gotta wake up now. You’ve been sleeping for like forever and there is breakfast.”

Eddie rubs his eyes tiredly with one hand, the other one ruffling Chris’s bedhead without much coordination as he mumbles: “I’m coming, mijo. I’m coming.”

Chris clearly doesn’t believe him. He huffs: “I’m eating your bacon if you’re not there,” before climbing out of the bed again.

A grin creeps up Eddie’s face; yeah, it’s definitely back to normal again.

~~

A/N:

I am sad, because next chapter, I’m going to have to cut Ocean’s 9-1-1, since I do not think you can have that episode without everyone finding out that they’re married and it won’t work with my plot that way, so it’s gotta go. I might write an AUAU about it, but I make no promises, because it has a lot of parts and at its core it’s a Hen and Athena episode where Hen gets racially profiled.

If you're asking yourself right now, why is this chapter early? The answer is that tomorrow (or well, later today for me), I have to hand in my thesis that will decide if they're giving me my Master degree, which is kinda important, so I wanted to clear the whole day for checking it all over. It's 74 pages total, because no one ever stops me from doing all that lmao, so it's gonna take a while xp

[elthadriel]

hi im here to cause problems 😌

💛🖤

any of the ships in the terrible horrible no good polycule (echofivestupdogmaslick+)

Despite his best efforts Tup can’t quite manage to tear his eyes away from where Fives is trying to eat Echo’s face. He wrinkles his nose. It wasn’t every day that your dead partner came back to life, but did they have to celebrate so loudly?

“I think this might be good for us,” he says.

“Really?” Dogma asks hopefully.

“Really?” Slick is less optimistic.

“Really.” Across the landing bay Fives gropes clumsily at Echo’s ass. Tup can hear them moaning from here. Is Five that loud with him? He hopes not. “I met Echo before he died—”

“Before he went missing,” Dogma interrupts.

“Before he went missing. And Fives talked about him all the time. He seems sensible.” They could use another level head around here.

Echo pulls at Fives’ hair with his remaining hand. Their mouths are open so wide they might as well be licking each other.

Slick hums in a way that makes people want to punch him. “By ‘met’ do you mean drooled at him working out in his ARC gear across the gym?”

“No! I mean I had a conversation with him.” He’d also drooled at him across the gym, but who hadn’t?

“Look, kid,” Slick says, as though Tup hadn’t ended up serving longer than he had, even if he’d been decanted first.

“Don’t call him kid,” Dogma says. He doesn’t look at Slick either, eyes locked on the two ARCs. He’d been drooling right next to Tup.

Slick rolls his eyes, but bows to Dogma’s wishes in a way he refuses to for anyone else. “I just think we should all keep in mind that Echo and Fives were already members of the 501st when I was arrested.”

A sort of dread that is usually reserved for when Fives and Slick really get into it pools in Tup’s gut. And maybe a little lower. It wasn’t going to happen, but that didn’t mean that Slick and Fives fighting wasn’t hot. What would adding Echo to the mix even—

Tup needs to get laid. He has two actual partners and a sort of partner in the form of Slick. How is it he never seems to manage more than jerking off in the tiny shared fresher?

“Did he know you?” Dogma asks. “If he…” he trails off, eyes widening in an expression that Tup is familiar with. Sure enough, Fives has shoved up Fives shirt, showing off his broad back.

The landing bay is empty except for them, but there’s no guarantee it’ll stay that way. They’re supposed to be laying low. Fugitives of the Republic and all that.

How had Echo even found them? Tup files away the question for when Echo’s mouth isn’t occupied trying to deep throat Fives’ tongue.

Slick cocks his head at the display, but doesn’t lose focus. “Nah, I didn’t interact much with the 501st if I could help it. But I bet I got some of their little buddies killed.”

Fives wedges a leg between Echo’s and Echo’s civvies don’t hide enough to for Tup to even pretend that Echo isn’t humping it. Echo’s lost the built ARC that Tup jerked off to a couple of times before he died—it had felt morbid after—but he still holds himself with a straight-backed confidence that hits very nicely despite the circumstances.

So Echo won’t like Slick. Fine. What’s new?

“Yeah, but no one likes you, Slick,” Tup says.

“We do,” Dogma points out, which is only true on a technicality.

 Slick lounges back against their ship looking so very pleased with himself. “Yeah, I’m sure he and Dogma will be the very best of friends.”

Dogma pales. “Fives and I have moved on,” he says very quickly.

“Sure you have, kid.” Slick says. “But you arranged for a firing squad to shoot Echo’s favourite lay. How do you think he’s going to feel about you? Even if said lay has decided to stop bringing it up.”

Dogma’s face makes it very clear he’s come to the exact same conclusion as Tup. So much for getting to fuck two ARCs at once he supposes.

“He’ll probably like you,” Dogma says to Tup, dejected misery having fully consumed any optimism.

“Yeah, trooper. You’re just everyone’s favourite.” At least Slick sounds happy.

“Lucky me,” Tup mutters.

They lapse into several seconds of blissful silence, interrupted only by the wet activities happening across from them.

Slick straightens up. “Huh. Those limbs are more dexterous than I’d have imagined.”

“Okay!” Tup slaps Dogma and Slick on the shoulder. “We’re waiting inside the ship!”

[nightwingshero]

Just A Drink - Chris Redfield x Leon Kennedy

This is my gift for @a-thousand-lives-lost-for-peace for the My Bloody Valentine's Day Exchange! I hope you like it, it was my first time writing for this ship, but I loved exploring it!!! It was a pleasure creating for you!!!

Of course a shout out to @carlosoliveiraa for making this all happen, you're amazing and I always enjoy these when you do them!!!

“Vacation time again, huh?”

“You owe me a bottle at the very least, Redfield.”

The bar was just a hole in the wall in a random town that really only had two traffic lights. Somewhere out of the way, but not so far off from civilization. Not while they were both so damn busy and at beck and call for whatever disaster came next. It would happen eventually, like it always did, like they had talked about before. Chaos breaks out, they save the day, it gets covered up as needed—rinse and repeat. Neither of them wanted to dwell on that, not when they had just saved Rebecca’s life, only moments to spare before they had lost her forever. But what happened stayed in the past where it belonged, along with the rest of the skeletons and close calls.

It didn’t escape Leon, the irony of the situation, where it was Chris drinking in a bar with Leon seeking him out. The last time it had happened, Chris and Rebecca needed Leon’s help. But as Leon took a seat with Chris, it was clear that Leon didn’t share the same intentions that Chris had—he was content with indulging. He ordered a glass of whiskey on the rocks as opposed to the beer his drinking buddy seemed fond of.

Chris chuckled lightly as he shrugged, inclining the neck of his bottle towards Leon’s short glass, a slight toast in silent promise between them. The smile was a bit short lived as the longer Chris stared at his bottle, the more his smile fell, losing the light and warmth it typically held. Leon noticed, of course there wasn’t much Leon didn’t notice in general, but his attention to detail seemed to heighten when around this guy—despite never wanting to really admit it. A few more moments of silence, a few more heartbeats, and Chris said something that fell under the noise of loud country music blaring from old, worn-out speakers. “You know…if you hadn’t showed up when you did, who knows where we’d all be.”

“Told you, had to take the stairs.” Leon tapped his fingers against his glass, partly avoiding the heavy conversation. It wasn’t that he didn’t have the capability, he just wasn’t sure if he had the capacity. So much weighed on his shoulders and he wasn’t ignorant enough to think Chris was better off. Guilt and regret held a strong grasp on Leon’s mind, the squad he lost, their close call with Rebecca, and just the things that had all led to this, including Raccoon City—where everything had started. It was strange, the more either of them thought about it, to see how their fates seemed intertwined from the beginning, without even realizing it at the time. “Not exactly vacation talk, Redfield.”

“I just…wanted to say thanks. I know that…well, you were going through your own thing when we caught up with you.” Chris replied, taking a sip of his beer. “I am sorry about your squad, Leon.”

A few more taps on his glass and Leon still didn’t know quite what to say. He still felt that anger, that regret and guilt. But if anyone could understand that, it was Chris Redfield. And while he was pissed at Chris at the time he had asked for help, even if he was still so disenchanted with the impact their actions had—or the lack thereof—he was still somewhat grateful to have gone with them. If anything because of Rebecca’s sake, but if he was honest with himself, it was more than that. Leon wasn’t sure if there ever would be a moment where he wouldn’t have Chris’ back, hated the version of himself that ever had to go against him—something he’s been forced to do before.

“That’s why you’re making it up to me, Redfield.” It was these moments that helped bring him back down to earth, a breath of fresh air before diving right back in again. Chris laughed again, nodding as the air between them remained heavy with things left unsaid, thoughts that were shoved aside and buried. Whatever it was, they didn’t talk about it. Or the way their eyes just kind of caught before Chris smiled, holding his beer bottle up in mock salute.

“Well, let’s get you that bottle I owe you then, see if we can get to the bottom of it.”

[mayxthexforce]

Meet Me Halfway || Myles & Jango

Plotted starter for @galaccias

If he closed his eyes long enough, Myles could still feel the arid winds of Mandalore on his skin, the smell of the sporadic storms in his nostrils, and the warmth of another's body against his own. That'd been so long ago. His life before slavery felt like a dream– a beautiful dream that kept him sane through all the hardships he faced in the Zygerrian arena. Zygerria wasn't Mandalore, it might share the type of hot and dry climate, but it was not his home. Myles refused to die anywhere but in his home, and then, once he managed to flee, he refused to die altogether. He had a man to find.

Jango Fett had made quite a name for himself.

The best bounty hunter in the galaxy, that's what people called him. Myles didn't doubt that was the truth, he'd heard plenty of stories, but most importantly, he heard about what happened on Galidraan when he paid a visit to the Governor, intending to retrieve his armor, only to find out —through a cathartically violent interrogation— that it'd been stolen from the Governor years ago by Jango himself.

He briefly returned to the Mandalore System to get a new set of armor, painting it the same as he did his old one, and soon, he became The Copycat. It was ironic. The armor Jango now wore was Myles' first, the color pattern was of his own making and yet, HE was the copycat. If it wasn't for the fact that it was Jango, Myles would really mind the misunderstanding, he would have killed his copycat– and Jango would have, too. That's why Myles' plan would work. Just like the stories about the great Jango Fett spread like wildfire, the stories about Jango Fett's copycat travelled through the galaxy faster than any ship thanks to holos and comms.

All Myles had to do was stay on one planet, and let it be known he was staying on that planet. But he wasn't always in the same place– he was a Mandalorian, a slave on the run, and there were more people than Jango after him.

Nar Shaddaa had a lot to offer when it came to hiding in plain sight and entertainment. Few people stood out there, and those who did did so in a way that told others not to mess with them. That is what Myles believes without a shadow of a doubt– or he did, until he came across the CHILD while walking around the crowded streets full of eye-sore inducing holos and neon lights.

At first, Myles was certain he was hallucinating. Then, as he watched people knock into the kid and it became clear that was a tangible, REAL child, he began blaming his age, the thousands of lights, even entertained the possibility of not being as mentally sound as he believed himself to be because that child looked exactly like Jango when Myles met him. To the point it caused what Myles could only describe a whiplash-like effect on a mental and emotional level. However, it didn't last long, because the kid was in trouble and every pinch of Mandalorian DNA in Myles' veins burned with rage as he watched some thugs shove the kid around.

He approached with the quiet yet intense stride of a seasoned hunter, shoved past one and grabbed the one closest to the child, punching the guy in the throat and shoving him towards his buddies. Myles' blaster was out in a moment, aimed with one hand, while the other went to grab at the kid's arm so he wouldn't run off. He might not be okay with strangers roughing up a child, but he needed answers.

"The kid's with me," he said. "And I don't take kindly to strangers putting their hands on my kid."

Whether it was because of the very real threat of the blaster or because they, like many others, fell for the idea that he was Jango Fett, they stepped back. Myles didn't care. Either option worked for him, because they stepped back and dragged their still recovering idiot away with them. Myles' expressionless visor remained on them until he lost sight of them. Then, and only then, did he turn his gaze to the child.

"Are you okay?"

[maya-matlin]

Hi! I'd love to hear more about why you prefer varchie to barchie because same. i know you said you would go with neither right now but i still think varchie is a much better ship than barchie despite not expecting to feel that way. so please elaborate on why varchie > barchie if you want to! i always thought barchie was a lot more popular but have seen polls lately where varchie keeps winning so maybe we're not the minority opinion anymore?

Hi! Thanks for the ask. First things first, Riverdale did a much better job at writing romantic relationships during seasons 1-4. I acknowledge that some of the writing could be wonky at times because it's literally Riverdale, but ultimately I feel that the original ships had something special because they were given the space to thrive. This includes Archie's relationship with Veronica. At first, it seemed as though RAS wanted to go against the usual comics' story line where Archie was forever bouncing between Betty and Veronica and instead committed to having Archie all in with Veronica while Betty was truly happy and content with Jughead. Relationship wise, Archie was much more selfless pre-cheating in season 4 and a lot more open to compromise in contrast to now where he's basically subtly "my way or the highway" but in a gentle sort of way? Like, Archie is never aggressive about it. But since the time jump and especially at the end of season 5 and beyond, he has wanted to basically emulate his father. He has to have marriage and babies. He has to grow old in his childhood home. The dude cannot face any sort of challenges or opposition without Betty being the one to cave. I always thought it was somewhat unrealistic that Archie and Veronica could be so fundamentally different as people to the point of being in drastically different story lines following the second season all the while maintaining a stable relationship. But somehow, it worked for them, and they appeared to balance each other out. I believe that meeting and falling for Veronica changed Archie's life. In his own words, he saw his entire future when they met and basically never deviated from that path until the confusion with Betty. Seven years after their breakup, Archie still loved Veronica and only went to Betty because Veronica was married to another man. Right down the line, Betty is Archie's second choice. Archie has never chosen her over Veronica when he was aware Veronica was an option.

To be honest, Archie's relationship with Betty is a joke to me. Don't get me wrong. It had the potential to be a great ship. The series started off with the premise that they'd been BFFs since childhood and that Betty had always harbored feelings for Archie. But then, Archie made it clear he'd never felt what we was supposed to feel with Betty. Not long after, Betty fell in love with Jughead and kind of never looked back. The writers had many opportunities to delve back into BA, including when they kissed in the second season, but instead decided to make it clear Archie and Betty wanted to be with their actual partners and had no interest in a romance. Worst of all, their friendship was barely a thing prior to the cheating. It was rarely given any significant screen time. But because the writers wanted a shake up, they decided to do the cheating arc. Even during their big cheating moment, the only flashbacks shown were from the first two episodes and then of their kiss in 209. Like, that's all this ship had prior to the cheating. Some fans can view them as a "slow burn" or interpret occasional three second glances as something more, but I can't agree. It was very poorly set up, and it was only marginally better following the time jump. So they became fuck buddies, but Archie had zero interest in being a support system for Betty and ran back to Veronica yet again. Much like in previous seasons where BA is only relevant when their romance is being teased, they had very few scenes prior to season 5's finale where they unofficially got together with no set up - following another Varchie breakup. Season 6 was basically.. everything is all about Archie all the time. They fuck and drink beers together. Sometimes the writers gave them unearned milestones such as saying I love you, becoming a couple, moving in together, and then getting engaged. It felt more like boxes were being checked than a couple in love organically arriving there. Mostly, Betty becomes an extremely watered down version of herself in order to become Archie's perfect match. Because Betty feels that she's "dark" and "damaged", she pushes down anything that isn't pure and good and allows Archie to validate her. The character is pretty much unrecognizable.

It's hard to know what's most popular. Social media seems to skew towards BA because that's literally all that's left these days. But the massive ratings decline and fandom engagement doesn't lie. The change in ships can't be entirely blamed, but the way everything played out along with the timing was a major contributing factor.

[god-i-hope-so]

New watcher here! Binged-watched everything up to S7E5 like 2 weeks ago. I have no definite preference whatever happens, though I'm currently 200% for Bucktommy... because that's where Buck's journey is at, because Tommy seems safe and good for Buck, because he seems like the right person at this moment in Buck's life. If the story had made Buddie canon, then I'd have been 200% for it all the same.

But I honestly also don't see Buddie as a thing, not with their current dynamic. No hate against people who ship them, I'm from the old school of fandom etiquette: like what you like. I don't care. I see Buck and Eddie as very close friends, the closest you can be. Though binge-watching really made 2 things very clear to me (and it's my interpretation, of course):

Buck has always been queer. He just never had the opportunity to "know" it himself before. I think he just loves to be loved, whoever it is, but social norms being what they are, he never really let himself explore other possibilities and just went for very feminine women because he likes women and he never struggle to find a partner. Every time I felt like the vibe changed between him and Eddie was because Buck was being sort of playful in a way that could be read as ambiguous.

Eddie is aspec but I'm not sure about him being queer. I'm not saying he's not and will never be, but maybe he doesn't even know it himself (yet?). I'm sure it's not a popular take on this character but look. He married his first love not because they planned it for years, but because it was just like that and they were kids. Then when she left, he just focused on Chris and life moved on. After Shannon, all his relationships were dull. The only moments we see him really happy are when he's single, living with his son and having fun with his friends and family. And by aspec, I mean really aspec, not ace/aro. He definitely enjoys having a lover, but he doesn't need it. He doesn't even look for it. When he's with someone, it's always because he "can't stay single". Why? Why not just let the guy live his life being a happy single dad and see what life will put on his way one day without pushing and forcing it? If the endgame is him being with Buck, then so be it if it's genuine. I'm all for it! But it has to make sense for me and right now it doesn't. It could have been a thing a lot earlier in the show, some lines were also ambiguous, but now that we're at season 7? No. if it happens later, they better write a very, very convincing turn of events.

So to me it's not Bucktommy vs Buddie. It never was. They are two completely different relationships on two different paths. All I ask for, now that Buck's character took a big new direction, is that whatever happens makes sense. That's all. Don't butcher Buck's queer awakening, don't butcher beautiful friendships, don't butcher a nice group of friends with unnecessary internal drama.

Why is it Buck/Tommy vs. Buck/Eddie?

And that's a genuine question, not an attack on anyone.

Are BT fans newer to the show? Have they not seen Buck and Eddie building a relationship? Or is that they don't see them as having that romantic connection? Or is it that they don't like the character of Eddie?

I like Tommy as a first relationship for Buck. I think he's safe, and as the actor himself said, Tommy is a good partner for Buck to start out with, whereas if he started with Eddie, their friendship might suffer if their relationship didn't work out. Tommy is gentle and, I think, takes his cues from Buck. Their chemistry is new and exciting.

Endgame, I would like to see Buck and Eddie together. For their friendship to build into something so strong and stable is kind of what we all look for, I would think. Buck and Eddie's relationship has had years to grow, and there was definitely something there from the get-go, a spark, if you will. From the flirting to the will to the reaction if the other is in danger.... those are solid beams in which to build a house.

I'm here for both. I think all three actors are embracing this character arc, and the possibilities really are endless. I know what I'd like my end pairing to be but it's still a fun ride.

[grippingbeskar]

The Element of Surprise | Part 8

Chapter Eight: The Stranger

mando x fem!reader

series masterlist here

warnings: slight sexual context, mentions of violence, swearing i think? i can’t remember i think so lmao

word count: 4.9k

a/n. : pls excuse any mistakes i just wanna post this chapter but i’ve been super busy w school and shit but enjoy pls!! thanks for all the luv ❤️ also it might take me a few days to write the next chapter, i’ve got a lot of shit to day but hopefully will have it finished on sunday!! oxoxoxox okay bye

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

“Hey. Focus.” You keep your eyes closed as you try to get Grogu to put his mind on the task at hand. The excitement that you felt when he showed you images of food through the Force has worn off now, as that is all he sends, even after being fed more than he should have.

You admit you are not entirely focused either, but how could you be after the events of mere hours ago happened, not meters from where you now sit with the child.

The Mandalorian didn’t say much after the little green demon jumped out of his chamber that you hoped to God was soundproof. He just picked up helmet, slid off your blindfold with delicate movements, and walked up the ladder. That was about three hours ago, and hes been flying ever since. You weren’t sure if its just because hes the Mandalorian, and he doesn’t talk much at the best of times, and you also weren’t exactly sure what you would say to him even if he did come down here. You definitely weren’t going up there. So, you got the kid and started doing what you were technically hired to do – teach.

This lesson was going about how you expected – bad. Grogu feeds off whatever energy you put out, and there was no way you could focus your mind enough to produce the clear, concise messages that were necessary for him to latch on to when your mind was up the ladder and in the pilots chair. Grogu looked at you, giant eyes filled with guilt, and you realised you had been short with him.

“Oh, I’m really sorry buddy. C’mere.” You open your arms and he waddles into them, happily gurgling when he realises you’re not angry at him. “I’m the one who needs to focus.”

Deciding to try a different approach, you fetch the tiny ball that Grogu has snatched off some gear stick in the cockpit, and motion for him to levitate it. Immediately it flies into his hand and the baby laughs, his little teeth showing as he does. You pull it back from him, slowly floating it through the air.

This requires minimal focus for you, it’s one of the first things you could truly master. You father said the way you ground yourself to the Force is the reason you can move objects so easily – you connect to every part of every thing around you, inanimate or not, and that makes you able to feel and manipulate even the smallest of wavelengths. You let it drift higher, and then lower as your hands stay behind your back – the ball moving only with the instructions of the thoughts in your head. You let it drift down to the floor and step back, wanting Grogu to try.

He strains, and you can feel him focusing all of his energy on the ball in front of him. The more you train with him, the more aware you are becoming of your own abilities, and you feel that now, even as you train your thoughts on the baby, you can feel the Mandalorian upstairs, his energy wafting through the ship almost akin to radiation – unavoidable and burns your skin. Its also through this awareness that you know he gets out of his chair and is heading towards the ladder. At the same time, the baby, trying to keep the ball in the air, loses control and flings it sideways, and it makes a ‘ping’ sound as it bounces off the Mandalorian’s beskar covered head.

Both you and Grogu look at each other, him thinking it’s the funniest thing in the world and you just trying to avoid the intensity of his stare.

“Hes never going to stop doing that now.” The modulator vibrates through the baby’s laughter, and you see him picking up the ball and aiming it, ready for round two. As unsure as you are about what’s going to happen next, Grogu never fails to make you smile.

“Well, the point of the lesson was to take aim, so if he can hit you in the head again, he gets an A.” You motion your hand at him and he lets it fly, hitting the helmet straight between the eyes. He erupts into laughter again, and so do you as an emotionless mask stands there, his shoulders shaking slightly, maybe with laughter.

“A+ little guy.” He bends down to pick up the baby, and he almost instantly falls asleep in his arms. You forgot that before you, it was just the two of them, but seeing how they interact makes you want to imagine all the time they spent together. It almost makes you a little sad, thinking of how he was alone out here, not even able to communicate between the two of them. They didn’t seem to mind though, a bond between the Mandalorian and the baby dead asleep in his arms evident and strong.

The baby is placed gently back into his crib, and it shuts on its own. It is then you notice the bag slung over the Mandalorian’s shoulder.

“You going out?”

“Yes. We are.” We? You nearly squeak out of surprise and excitement and nerves, but you remain as collected as possible. “Usually Id bring him too, but he seems pretty tired.” His head flicks to the baby’s closed crib and you nod.

“What are we doing?” you bend to pick up your backpack that had laid abandoned on the ship floor for the past week – still not entirely sure of its contents but swinging it over your shoulder, nevertheless.

“Out of tracking fobs, remember?” You think back to the guy he shot on one of your first nights here, and you remember a conversation about him needing to get a new job, but honestly anything before he made you finish in his hand in the same spot hes standing now has flown out of your memory.

“Right. Sure.” You have no idea how to act around him, and if he didn’t make you nervous before, the way he walks toward you and takes the bag off your shoulder, swinging it over his own makes your heart jump out of your throat. You blink up at him, and for once hes not looking at you, instead opening the door to the planet you have somehow landed on. “Wait. Where are we?” There hasn’t been a single time you’ve landed where you’ve known where you’re going, but you’re starting to like the thrill of the adventure.

“Nevarro.” You nod. You have no idea where that is, and he could tell. “Volcanic planet in the Outer Rim. Home of the Guild.”

“I knew that.”

“Of course you did.” He steps off the ramp, and turns back slightly to make sure your following, and you are.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Following him into the cantina, once again you are reminded how feared he actually is. People from planets all over move out of his way, eyes trail you and whispers follow as he motions you into a booth, sitting next to you rather than opposite.

The booth is small, which means his body is pressing you into the wall beside you, but it also means he is pressing into you, so you are not about to complain. You begin to think about why he may of chosen this particular seating arrangement when he speaks.

“We will be quick. I just have to pick up a couple tracking fobs, then we can pick up some supplies on the way back to the ship. Try to let me talk, okay?” you nod, happy to let him take the lead in this.

He was a professional, after all, and unless you had to steal the fobs off whoever you were meeting with, you were sure he could do a better job than you. His hand slides under the table, coming to rest on your thigh, and you aren’t sure if you should tense up completely or relax under his touch, your body fighting to do both.

“Are we- are you okay?” You nod rapidly, trying to signal you are very okay with where his hand is right now, and subconsciously trying to tell him you were also okay with where his hand was this morning, but any further attempts are halted when you are joined by a man who sits opposite you.

“Mando. It’s been too long, my friend.” He slides a drink in front of him, and the Mandalorian slides it towards you. You look up and take the drink, making eye contact with the smiling stranger, who is now staring right at you. “You always did have a thing for picking up strays.” He gives the man beside you a pointed stare, and then looks back at you. “And what might your name be?” you resist the urge to look at the Mandalorian before answering and tell him your full name.

The strangers’ eyebrows cross together, and the man beside you straightens.

“What?” comes a modulated voice, full of concern.

“I know that name. Your father was a fierce fighter. I was sorry to see him go, my dear. Greef Karga.” He extends a hand to you, and you shake it. Your father’s death happened long ago, and as much as you loved him, hearing his name mentioned doesn’t affect you as much as it used you, but hearing it from this man more than piques your interest.

“You knew him?” You know the Mandalorian said to let him do the talking, but you can’t let this go.

“In my time as a magistrate, yes. But that was long ago. I’ve… changed career paths.” You knew your father did diplomatic work, so there’s no surprises there. For a second you thought he might have been affiliated with the Guild. You just nod, shrinking back a little with the drink that you now realise is alcoholic, sipping it lightly and allowing the two men to talk.

When you say talk, you mean mostly Greef talking and the Mandalorian nodding, extending a hand and taking four trackers, sliding them into his bag.

“So talkative, this one.” Greef says to you after the business deal seems to be over. You smile as the man besides you stifles a grunt. “Well, it was lovely to meet you. Hopefully this whole grump act doesn’t dampen your time here on Nevarro. Stay, have a meal, on me.” He smiles, and your stomach grumbles at the thought of an actual cooked meal.

“That would be incredible. I’m starving.” You smile, and the Mandalorian looks over at you. Even with the helmet on you can tell hes not happy about it.

“Perfect. Ill have it sent over. Enjoy your night.” He winks as he leaves, and the silver helmet watches him leave before he turns to you, seeing you finish the drink he slid you before he speaks.

“What happened to letting me do the talking?” His words are slightly harsh, and its obvious he doesn’t want to be here.

“He knew my dad. I had to-“

“Not that. The staying part. For dinner. You’re not doing that.”

“Yes. We are.” You repeat his earlier words to him. “Its your fault anyways.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. If you had a single thing on that ship to eat rather than portion bread and nails, I wouldn’t be practically starving to death.” You can see food heading towards you, and as the waitress lays it on the table, steaming hot, the smell fills your senses, making your mouth water. 

You start eating immediately. You do feel slightly guilty that he can’t eat with you, but he doesn’t seem to mind, more pissed off with the fact he has to be on this planet longer than three seconds. 

“Don’t look at me like that.” You say to him, staring straight into the black slit in his helmet. The warmth from the alcohol you are drinking spreads through you; not drunk but feeling something.

“How would you know how I’m looking at you?”

“I can just tell. You’re looking at me like ‘can this idiot hurry up so we can get off this planet which I hate as much as the rest of the planets so we can go to the next planet I hate’.”

“Hmm.” He says lowly, and you expected a lighter tone from him, so you question it.

“No? Then please, tell me. Why are you looking at me like that?”

He goes quiet, and even though its normal for you two to sit in silence, this one feels… different. Uncomfortable? Not exactly, but definitely not easy. You shift in your seat, impossible to move at all without touching him. You feel bolder than usual, the second drink you’re currently finishing helping with the confidence boost.

You’ve got – what? A few weeks at the least stuck in close quarters with this man, maybe months – who knows how long? You can’t blast past the fact that he was literally inside of you a few hours ago, and you don’t want to move on either. There’s no way you can deny how he makes you feel any longer, and you won’t give him the opportunity to do the same

“Why did you leave before?” You don’t look at him and instead focusing on taking the third drink a waitress hands you, immediately downing half of it. He stills, not even his chest moves to indicate hes breathing.

“I thought you’d want to be alone.” Hes unsure of himself, speaking low.

“Well, I didn’t. Also, leaving without saying anything? At all? For hours? Kind of a dick move.” His head moves back slightly, you can see the gears turning in his head, thinking about how to respond. You have no idea what’s come over you but staring at the three empty glasses on the table, you think that might have something to do with your sudden outburst of confidence.

There’re a few moments of silence. The cantina buzzes around you, low voices speak in the few booths in front and behind you, but you can’t listen for any voice apart from his. Did you take that too far? It was true, you’d been left feeling alone and kind of stupid when he just walked back up the ladder, leaving you with your pants around your thighs and your self-esteem fractured slightly.

Playing the silent game with the Mandalorian is a game you don’t think you will win, but damn him if you wouldn’t try. He should say something. Explain himself at least. Even if he was to tell you it was a mistake and won’t happen again (though your pretty sure your heart couldn’t handle it) it would be better than hanging in this weird in between phase.

He clears his throat, and it’s the first time you’ve heard him do so. You look down and see his hand balled up; hes nervous. You can’t decide if you find that adorable or irritating, considering his confidence just hours ago.

“Im- I’m sorry. I didn’t really know what to say. I don’t usually do… that. I didn’t mean to be a-” You resist the urge to reach out and hug him, his gentle tone softening you instantly. “A dick.”

A small laugh escapes you, only because hearing him say that sounds so foreign coming from him.

“Its okay.”

“Really. I’m sorry, I wanted to but I –“you reach a hand out to him, placing it lightly on his thigh next to his own, and he stops talking.

“Its fine. Next time, stay though.”

“Next time?” he says, and you nearly get whiplash from how fast his demeanour changes. He moves the hand resting beside you to ever so slightly brush your opposite shoulder, giving you shivers.

“Mhmm” the warmth from the alcohol and his touch mix in your lower stomach, and you haven’t forgotten about the hand that currently rests on his thigh. You slide it upwards, only an inch, and his head drops to watch your movement. “Besides, there’s another reason I didn’t want you to leave so fast.”

You move it up again, just another inch, stretching your pinkie finger towards the top of his leg. His head shoots behind him, making sure no one is looking, and you take this opportunity to lean over to where you’re pretty sure his ear is, though your vision is slightly askew, and you end up just leaning your forehead on his helmet, and you forget what you were going to say as his arm drops around you, nearly pulling you onto his lap.

“Tell me. I want to hear it.” You swallow, trying to think back to five seconds ago when you had all that extra confidence. “Don’t get shy now. Tell me what you wanted to do.” This is a thing then. Who would have guessed the Mandalorian liked to talk?

“Am I interrupting something?” Greef says from the end of your table. Fucking hell. You cant catch a break. You slide back to your side of the booth, but the Mandalorian keeps his arm around you. “Just wanted to give you this, Mando. Think of it as a gift for your friend here.” The Mandalorian takes the tiny piece of metal you know to be a tracking fob.

Didn’t he already give him the four? The device lights up, showing the hologram of the bounty. Wait – you’ve seen this man before… but where?

“I thought you might recognise him.” Greef chuckles, snapping your attention to him. “Part of the crew that are responsible for your father’s untimely demise. Take it if you want, don’t if you don’t, but I had a feeling you might be the type interested in a little revenge.” You reach out to take the fob from the Mandalorian’s gloved hand, but he closes a fist and just shoves it in his bag.

“Were leaving.” He pulls you out of the booth, not even giving you a chance to ask any questions as Greefs figure disappears into the crowd of the cantina and you are pulled back into the city of Nevarro.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“No.”

“No? Who are you to tell me what to do?”

“Just – I’m not telling you what to do. I’m trying to keep you from walking into a trap.” You had started arguing with him as soon as you left Greef Kargas cantina, and now, as you walk through the small market place, carrying two bags of fruit and packaged food, you are not going to give up now.

“A trap? Not because you already got your four bounties? Or is it because you don’t think I can-“you are suddenly pulled into a side alley, the Mandalorian’s chest pressing you into hard brick.

“Stop.” He commands and you listen. “Its not because I doubt that your capable, nor do I care how far away it is from the other trackers – which it is. But, I know Karga. Hes dirty, and he never does anything out of kindness. Giving this to me – to us, just proves that hes got something else at play.”

“How?” He doesn’t sigh like you expect, his patience with you never wearing thin, even when you would have snapped three arguments ago.

“Why give this to me now? In front of you? If he needed this guy in that bad, he would of gave it to me weeks ago. He knows I’m the best chance to bring them in, so why now?”

You consider this, and after a whole five seconds of reflection you know hes right.

“Because he wanted me to see it.” He nods, and releases you from his hold. “But why? He didn’t even know I was there until just before.”

“He must know who you are.” The rest of his sentence hangs in the air, because if he knew your father, and knows you, chances are he also knows about your connection to the Force. “We should get going.”

The Mandalorians concern for you makes you feel guilty instantly. Of course he’s right.

“Hey. I’m sorry. Its just - when he said that about my father, I never knew exactly what happened to him, why it happened. I guess I wanted to jump at the first sign of an answer. I should have let you handle it.” You remember your mother telling you your father was dead and getting on the first ship you could find and taking off, never looking back. Your exit was hasty, your mother shoving you off planet within the same conversation. You knew you had to leave, and she was worried they would come for you next, but it left a whole lot of questions unanswered.

“Its okay. I get why you would.” He looks out to the crowd of people passing by, and you see the sun setting in the distance.

“Do you think someone’s following us?” This is the second time you’ve caught him scanning the place, and for someone who’s usually observant without trying, it makes you worry about the fact that you left the kid in the ship alone.

“I don’t think so. We should go either way, we’ve got enough food to feed an army in there.” He flicks his head to the bags hung around his shoulders, and you look down at the ones your holding, remembering how fast you had to grab the small bag before he did so you could at least feel like you’re doing some of the lifting, him still carrying your backpack underneath the mountain of food.

“With the way your kid eats I wouldn’t be surprised if he chews a hole in the side of the ship by the time we get there.” He laughs, and you realise how much you missed the sound of it.

He leads you out of the alley, weaving his way through the crowd, a testament to how well he knows this city, not even having to look up to know when to turn.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

It feels like you’ve walked for miles by the time the ship comes into view, the effects of the alcohol wearing off, the long walk doing your mind wonders. The Mandalorian scoops up the baby, who, halfway through his third serving of fruit, is starting to fall asleep while eating. He says something to him, and places him in the cot. Its only then that you realise how late it is, the only light streaming down from the open latch between the main hull and the cockpit, practically lighting a path.

With the kid safely tucked away, you hear the metallic clank of boots on the ladder, and you see a small flash as the helmet turns to look back at you, illuminating him.

“Come on. We should get a head start.”

“I thought you said no one was following us?

“Id rather not stick around to find out.”

You nod, and you can’t control how your feet skip slightly as they head to ascend the ladder.  Sliding through the small walkway you step into the cockpit, the Mandalorian already flicking switches and releasing levers, and when the ship pulls off, the motion sends you back into the chair with a soft thud.

You don’t think you’ll ever get sick of this, watching the night sky appear in front of you, surrounded by the tiny white lights coming from all directions. You used to dream of when you would be able to be in space again, not so much for the flying, but what it represented. The freedom to go wherever you wanted, and flying around from planet to planet while also getting to help a cute baby and his hot dad? Pretty much the closest to freedom you ever thought you’d get.

“Hes doing ok, right?” he tilts his head and takes his hands off the switchboard, having brought the ship to a cruising speed.

“Hes amazing. Seriously, what he did this morning usually takes at least a couple weeks of focus for a complete beginner. Took me even longer.”

“Really?” Of course, hes curious about it, its his kid. But the way his voice raises slightly, framing it more as a question makes you think he might be curious about you, too.

You nod before continuing. “Really. Hes gonna kick some serious Jedi ass when you find someone to take him on.” The thought of that inevitable end to your journey makes you sadder than you thought. You know it will come, and by the strength this kid has shown you in the past week, you wouldn’t be surprised if a Jedi walked through the door tomorrow.

“Thankyou. For helping him.” You resist the urge to laugh, only because of the sincerity in his tone. Has he forgotten why you’re here? If anything, you should be the one thanking him.

“it’s the least I can do, after -you know.”

“Shooting me.”

“It was more of a graze.” You meet his stare.

“And trying to steal from me.”

“Yeah. You get that one.” A deep laugh vibrates through the room, and you grin in response. “But really, I want to help. Hes great.” A small ‘hmm’ leaves him, and its clear he agrees, not just in his response but in all his behaviours you’ve observed between him and the baby. Always making sure hes eaten before him, bringing him everywhere he can, only leaving him on the ship when absolutely necessary. Even the way he speaks about him, you can tell there’s a strong bond between them, and that he genuinely cares. “Helping him has actually been helping me too, so I can’t take all the credit.”

“How so?” You take a deep breath before answering. Considering your previous conversations, it’s safe to say you can trust him, and seeing as you’re going to be flying all night, if hes not going to fill up that time with a particular kind of conversation, you might as well take a chance.

“The longer I went without using it – my connection faded. When we left Tatooine, what I had was barely a shadow of what I was able to do when I trained. Even being around him makes me better. Hes stronger than me too, even untrained. This last week I’ve felt stronger than I have in years.”

“Stronger than you?”

“Then I was when I started, definitely. I don’t know where you found him, but that kind of power doesn’t come without a seriously strong bloodline.” You realise you have no idea where he actually came from, but it’s the truth, nonetheless.

“He was a bounty, at first. I tracked him down on Arvarla-7. Couldn’t find it in myself to turn him in, and hes been with me ever since.” Of all the stories you had heard of the Mandalorian, you would never have guessed they had a soft spot for babies, and it sent a warmth straight through your body to think of him, ready to fight or kill whatever he found, only to come home with a tiny green infant in his bag. “He saved my life, too.”

“What?!” You nearly jump out of your chair, your exclamation shattering the calm energy of the dark room. He chuckles warmly, as if fond of the memory.

“I was trying to get an egg from a cave for the Jawas –“the memory of those grimy little dudes makes your skin crawl “- turns out it was a Mudhorn cave. I would have died if he hadn’t floated the thing into the air. Another second and it would have broken my armour and killed me.”

“Holy shit.”

“Exactly.” Your smiling, unsure if this is from the realisation of how much potential Grogu really has, or the fact that the Mandalorian finally opened up to you. “Don’t start using that against me.” He probably says this because he can see you trying to picture how a tiny little baby could take down a giant Mudhorn while he got his ass kicked. “It was huge.”

“Oh, I’m sure it was.”

He sits up slightly. “It was. Angry, too.”

“Mhmm.” You’re still smiling at him, almost smugly.

“Still killed it.” He mumbles and you bust out laughing. Not that you could say you would stand a chance against an animal that big, but his defensive words as he tried to prove his position did nothing but make you giggle.

You close your eyes, enjoying the feeling. You are happy here, you think, and you can only hope that you can make yourself useful for long enough that he doesn’t decide to kick you to the curb as soon as he finds an actual trainer. Your eyes are still closed, so you don’t notice until you finally open them that the Mandalorian now stands in front of you, somehow fitting in the small space left between the controls board and the end of your chair, the way your legs are folded underneath you providing just enough space.

“I want to show you something.” He says, offering you a hand, and when you take it, he pulls you, so the chair swings sideways, and then leads you out of the room. In the pitch black of the hallway, you think he must be taking you downstairs, but he instead turns to the right. You know there’s nothing there, the number of times you’ve come up and down the ladder all you’ve ever seen was a blank panel. “This is what I was doing. When I came up this morning.”

A door opens, and a tiny flickering light emerges from the dark. It doesn’t take any effort for him to lead you into the room, the door swinging shut softly behind.

----- 

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[matan4il]

I was the anti shipper, and yes, just to be very clear, it wasn't homophobia. Yes, I am straight, and I ship both straight and queer couples. It's chemistry. But I am always more confident in straight couples because I know if the fans react, the showrunners will too. See Green Arrow. Not to use the tired catchphrase, but if either of them were women and shared the Ryan and Oliver chemistry, I have no doubt they would have changed it. You know, even if it was supposed to be Taylor and Anna or Shannon end game. That's the part that made me so annoyed.

S2 and S3 you could not go an episode that didn't have some ship worthy content. Then, in S4 and S5, it was the fact that they grew so much more emotionally intimately that they had to pull back being physically affectionate. I often see them compared to McDanno, and to me, it's like no. The difference is McDanno never pulled back or acted weird when in a relationship. They embraced the codependent/buddy cop/bro work husband of it. If anyone currently, they are more like Tim and Lucy in The Rookie.

So yes I was mostly annoyed because I felt like they wouldn't be brave enough to shift the story. I really believe that Buddie is just an important representation. All LBGTQ content is, but theirs is yes a little different when you can explore the ways you come at it, their professions, backgrounds, potential repression, mid life gay panic. And of course their adorable son!

So thanks for understanding my point so well and not assuming I was no homo, you know!!

Lovely, you have nothing to thank me for! I thought your ask was AWESOME, I understood immediately where you were coming from, and it had the exact desired effect, it filled me with joy!

And I agree with you, I’m a hopeless romantic which means even as a kid, I shipped to my heart’s content. I was incapable of watching any show without finding a couple who I loved and cheered for. And without a doubt, even though I pick up on similar chemistry and tropes when I ship opposite sex couples who aren’t together yet as when I ship same sex ones, the former will almost ALWAYS get together (or at least be acknowledged by the show in some way... for example as a one-sided love, it’s happened maybe twice, but it’s still a recognition of what the viewers see), even if they may not be endgame, but the same cannot be said for the latter. So yeah, when I ship two guys who aren’t together canonically, I walk into that with my eyes fully open. And it is frustrating sometimes because of precisely what you point out. If Buck and Eddie were an opposite sex couple and had everything they have now (not just the chemistry, but the build up and intimacy and emotional intensity, plus tropes like the shooting arc at the end of s4), we’d all know it’s just a matter of time before they got together. It wouldn’t even be a question.

I never watched Hawaii 5-0, but I did always assume that the genre dictated that McDanno would never get together, but they would def tease (I hate using this term now since it has become such a dividing term but yeah, I assumed they were queerbaiting) to get that extra slice of viewership from McDanno shippers. So I kind of... am not surprised that they preserved the same kind of dynamic without change throughout the show’s run. Because the only REAL change that they could have provided without losing the shippers is getting them together, right? And like I said, I never thought they would do that.

I don’t watch The Rookie either (listen, there is just TOO MUCH out there, I can’t keep up with everything *sobs*), but I gather Tim and Lucy have gone canon? Semi-canon? IDK, but that’s what gifsets on my dash have led me to believe. But that says it all, if Chenford are that comparable to Buddie!

And once again, fully agreed. Buddie matter so much! In terms of being able to offer us the first REAL mlm slow burn, the fact that they work in such “masculine” professions (break that stereotype even more, 911! I will give you my kidney), their age (coming to realize who they are or how to be in a same sex r/s at a later stage in life), the fact that they’re basically co-parenting (there are not enough mlm couples CHOOSING to raise kids together on our screen), all of it could make Buddie groundbreaking.

Thank you again, it’s been a delight chatting to you! As always, here’s my ask tag. xoxox

[buddiebeginz]

I been trying to put into words some feelings I been having over the new ep and fandoms reaction. And look this is just me venting so please don’t sent hate.

First and foremost I can’t begin to tell you as someone who is bi how important this storyline and that ep with Buck is. How important them making Buck canonically bi is. There was a part of me that thought they’re not gonna do it but they did. My journey hasn’t been the same as Buck but in some ways I figured stuff out about my sexuality later in life too. When I was a kid I knew something was different but ultimately thought I was straight, and then as an older teen I came out as a gay, and only in my 30s did I realize I was bi. Not the same exactly as Buck or of other people who don’t realize or can’t except that part of themselves at all until later in life but still a journey. And I think it's so important for everyone lgbtq and straight to see that sexuality isn't this rigid box it's a part of us that can grow and change as we do.

I feel very personally connected to Buck and his storyline so I’m not trying to hate on it or him. And no matter who that kiss was with I’m glad Buck wanted it and he was happy and it awakened parts of him he’s likely not wanted to face or known how to face before now.

I also know Buck being bi exists separately from Buddie and is incredibly important whether Buddie were to happen or not. I have tremendous faith Buddie is going to happen eventually especially with how the storyline has been going and how the actors and Tim have talked about it. I also know Tommy isn’t sticking around. I guess I’m just missing our boys together. That episode was tough to watch in some ways because Buck felt like he couldn’t get Eddie’s attention (which is to be clear whose attention he actually wanted) and so right now we’re seeing the guys a bit disjointed which will continue it seems for some of the next ep.

Plus I’ve been seeing Buck/Tommy all over my dash and everywhere else online and it’s like again I get why I’m not telling anyone not to be excited over this ep. I am too.

I think part of it is I’m not a multishipper. Buddie is one of my favorite ships ever and I don’t like thinking of them with anyone else. I think it’s possible to be excited and happy about Buck coming out and about 911 finally doing this storyline while also wishing the guy he was kissing was Eddie. Again I know Buddie has to take time to happen it’s a slow burn and all that but we’ve also waited years.

It’s hard watching people love how Tommy kisses Buck or calls him Evan (which tbh I hate) or wondering what their ship name is. I've even seen people say they want Tommy to stay for awhile and some have even said they don't care if Buddie even happens now. I’m also starting to see Tommy/Buck fics clutter up the Buddie tag on ao3. People are even making gifsets comparing Buddie and Buck and Tommy basically saying Tommy treats Buck better.

I know the ep just aired and I know everyone is just enjoying how momentous this is and celebrating that it’s finally canon what we saw in Buck all along, still it feels like some people are already forgetting about Buddie.

And I know it's better that Buck has his first queer experience with someone else and gets to know himself better before Buddie happens officially. I know neither he or Eddie are ready for their relationship to move into that space just yet. I just love them and want to see them together finally. I don't want to see people forget about the amazing relationship we've watched grow over six years because whatever Tommy and Buck will share it won't compare to that. Eddie is Buck’s person and vice versa and I can’t wait for the day these two idiots figure that out.

[i-like-eyes]

Ah yes, duos! Lemme just pull out a duo that hasn't been used yet....ahah! Kirby and Gooey! Those two! What's your opinion on it, if I may ask?

I feel similarly on the 3 so they share a Bingo board.

Out of all of Kirby’s “best friends” Gooey is my favorite. The fact that he’s made of the goopey evil stuff but is still a Kirby equiv can say so much. I don’t mean as like, a deep dive into these sphere’s mindsets, but it says so much about the themes. Anything can be made into a power for good with love and friendship, even the off spawn of evil incarnate can become as good as Kirby! Cheesey as hell but it’s great. The two would share one braincell together, and get into all sorts of trouble without realizing it. The fact they are roommates is so slept on omg. I know y’all love having characters adopt Kirby, but he’s an independent with his own house and should be recognized for meeting such a feat. I want to see the two discuss who’s doing house chores as they eat candy for breakfast. I want to see Kirby explain to Gooey that he’s gonna half to pay more in rent (they pay in Pokemon cards) if the hellish ecosystem Gooey spawned under Kirby’s bed for his nappy time starts to take over the rest of the house.

Kirby and Ribbon in comparison have a more distant relationship going on. Ribbon sees the Popstar guys less often than even Ado does, but they keep in touch through brick-shaped phones. Most people can handle Kirby’s rambles only so much, but Ribbon loves to listen and can rival his rambles in length. Ribbon has duties at the kingdom, so Kirby visits her often to hang out or help. I like to think Ribbon is another one of Kirby’s many besties, like he really likes Ado too but some of his friends make for better play dates than others. I don’t think there’s anything deep to it, after one adventure they sorta just *get* each other and share a lot of the same hobbies. I think their mutual crushes are cute, but I don’t find shipping characters that act 5 to be all that engaging so I can’t say I actively ship it. IDK, I hc plenty of crushes that go absolutely nowhere; either because I think the characters would like each other but I’m just not interested in further exploring the pair, or it’s just for the lulz. Kirby and Ribbon are just cutsey friends in my book.

Ribbon and Gooey, that’s more missed potential. I’d like to see any character that’s been harmed by Dark Matter react to Gooey. Perhaps Ribbon is especially hesitant to go near him because she has history his extended family. Gooey ofc means no harm and Ribbon is the type of character to get over her prejudice in the length of a sitcom episode. But Kirby would love for all his friends to get along and immediately introduce every house guest to the blob living under his bed. He would be so eager to introduce everyone he would forget the whole Dark Matter taking over the galaxy thing. After the initial debacle is clear Ribbon and Gooey would get along great, with some hiccups along the way. Share the same interests, but have to deal with the occasional culture clash.

It’s weird, I don’t love Shimomura’s characters individually but in terms of who Kirby interacts with those guys are who I want to see come back the most. The Dark Matter trilogy group of buddies always felt so genuine in their friendship. When one off characters like Taranza or Susie or whoever disappear forever, I’m upset I don’t see them again because I think they have potential to expand their character or at least make for fun stories. When the Animal Friends or other Shimo characters disappear now it’s like, nooooooo they were Kirby’s besties why are you tearing them apart!!!!!!! The DM trilogy guys by being reduced to cameos in current games, it unintentionally weakens the best friend status they had in their titles, and that’s a shame. Kirby would be emotionally and literally closer to his roommate Gooey than the likes of MK even. They have to explain why Magolor is not dead, or have Daroach reintroduce himself to Kirby for the sake of the player who might of missed SqSq and has no idea who this mouse man is. But the DM guys are just kinda chill like. Yup this Rick. He’s clearly a hamster. That’s it that’s his whole character. Point is I think DM trilogy dudes being more involved with main line stories would be much less intrusive than other characters. But I get they want the new characters to stand out, and have made the DM trilogy guys the mascots of their own games and can’t take that identity away.

[alpineglowx]

Proposition | Din Djarin x Reader

Pairing: Din Djarin x Reader

Wordcount: 3K

Warnings: None except some sweet fluff and mutual pining!

Summary: You've been pining after the Mandalorian for months, and a quiet night under the stars might just be the night that changes everything.

Part 2: Placid

Part 3: Promise

***

“Where have you been?”

Glancing up, you could see the Mandalorian’s visor looking out at you from the opening of the Razor Crest. You blinked steadily, coming to a complete halt at the bottom of the drop ramp, unable to move any further. He watched you carefully, unmoving as even Grogu waddled to the edge of the ramp. The kid’s ears twitched as he caught sight of you, and you could even hear his soft murmurs from this far off.

Seeing them in the fading sunlight, safe and sound in the place that you had begun to call home the past few months, made tears well in your eyes. The Mandalorian had hired you as more of a mechanic-caretaker for the kid-scavenger for the better part of several months, but you couldn’t help the pull of being close to him. Mando was more of a compassionate soul then you had thought when you had first seen him on Coruscant, a hulking piece of metal with weapons at every reach. He had almost frightened you then, with his immense height and great reputation.... Until you had seen the kid. The little child that Mando seemed to adore so greatly, the one with floppy green ears and wide, beaming eyes. Mando always held him with such gentleness, the same gentleness that you sometimes found yourself being shown. It may have been a small comment of praise on your work, or a passing touch of the shoulder... Regardless, it had made the walls around your heart start to crumble and fade away, revealing a new affection for them both underneath.

But you hadn’t tried to relish in it, or take it too seriously. He probably only needed your work for a little while longer, and especially after he returned the kid and completed his mission, he wouldn’t need your assistance any more. You would go your separate ways... And he would forget you.

“Hey,” his soft voice came again, tearing you from your thoughts. You blinked, focusing on Mando. “You alright?”

Breathing deeply, you shrugged one shoulder, trying to blink away your tears. “Yeah, I’m fine. I, uh... I went into town to see if there was anything I could trade. I got some fruit... That was about it.”

“Good,” was all the Mandalorian said. “Come on. We’ve got to keep moving.”

You took a deep breath again, looking out into the ocean of trees and the sunset fading around you. You longed to spend more than a few hours or days on one planet, especially one as beautiful as this.

So, plucking up your courage, you turned to him and the kid, waiting for you on the Crest.

“I have a proposition.”

The Mandalorian settled one hand on his belt, shifting to rest his weight on one leg. “Alright.”

“Let’s stay here, just for one more night,” you said. “I’ll build the fire, and get the supplies, and everything. You can even sleep on the ship with the kid, I don’t mind.”

“... what are you proposing?” The Mandalorian asked, sounding mildly curious.

“I’ve always wanted to sleep under the stars... Even if just for one night.”

“Alright,” came Mando’s surprisingly fast response, making your heart beam with joy.

. . . .

“See that one? I think it looks like a womp-rat, what do you think, kid?”

You peeked at Grogu from where he was leaned against your shoulder, curled in the crook of your arm as you leaned against your pack, warm on the blanket you had spread out in the tall grass. Mando sat a few feet from you, one leg outstretched and the other bent at the knee, his arm hanging over it loosely. He looked more relaxed than you had ever seen him; he had even removed the jetpack and the cape.

You couldn’t deny your attraction to him, despite never having seen his face. He carried himself with such confidence, with his broad shoulders and slim waist and form that could easily crush you. He could have killed you, easily... You had seen others die by his hands before.

But he had never been anything else but gentle with you. Not the typical warm, motherly-kind of gentle, but a compassion and attentiveness that existed beyond just words. It was wordlessly offering you a blanket when you shivered, letting you have a spare blaster, or simply handing the kid off to you during times spent on the Crest.

Grogu cooed softly beside you, and you peeked to see his eyelids drooping.

“Oh,” you whispered. “Are you sleepy, buddy? You ready for bed?”

At his soft murmur, you gathered him up in a small blanket, gently rising on your knees and tucking him away in the pram that lay next to the blanket. Grogu held tightly to your thumb, resisting your pulling, so you let him hold it until you had pressed him snug into the pram, bundled up in the mass of blankets until the softness screw him away. As soon as his eyes fell, you smiled, gazing down at the kid whom you had come to adore so greatly.

You hadn’t even realized Mando had been watching you until you turned, going back to your original position but spotting the gaze of the visor locked on your face. You flinched, surprised to see him so eagerly staring back at you, not even moving when he realized you had caught him. In the silence, you shut the pram closed and placed your hands back in your lap, swallowing heavily. Mando’s gaze still didn’t waver, and you couldn’t help but admire the soft starlight beaming like silver on his Beskar.

“You’re smiling,” he said suddenly, his voice soft but cutting off your train of daydreams. You shook your head a bit, just to clear your throat and sit back down again, leaning against your pack. You stared at the stars again, trying to calm your thundering heartbeat. You couldn’t admit - although you desperately wanted to - that you were smiling because of him. It was all too much. He was too much, with all his hidden expressions under the mask and the not-so-cocky attitude he possessed most of the time.

“The kid likes you.”

You cocked a brow in his direction, slightly disappointed to see that he was facing away again, back towards the tree line.

“He’s not too bad,” you replied, smirking. “I like him, too.”

The Mandalorian’s shoulders lifted, just the smallest but, signifying the small laugh he would sometimes give in your presence. It made your stomach flip when he did that, knowing you had been the one to make him feel that way.

“Why were you smiling earlier?” He asked, making your stomach plummet.

You could feel your mouth go dry even before your lips had opened, but suddenly the words came tumbling out - and your mind was going a hundred parsecs per second - urging you on and on until you finally...

“You were looking at me, and I-I don’t know, you make me nervous sometimes, okay? Not like the, ‘oh, I’m so scared that you’re going to kill me’ kind of nervous... like you look at me and you’re all that I see and whatever’s going on just kind of fades into the background. And I feel like you’re the first and only person in this whole galaxy to actually see me, as I really am, and you don’t kick me out or push me away. You’ve let me stay on, and I could never thank you enough.”

You finally stopped speaking, folding your hands over your stomach as you dared not another look in Mando’s direction. You only stared at the stars, practically in awe of yourself and everything that you had revealed. You very well might have told him that you loved him.

He stayed silent for a long time, maybe five minutes, maybe more.

“... You’ve been more than a loyal asset,” he said simply, his voice soft.

You expected him to say more, but he stayed silent, letting you mull over his words.

“I’d like you to be more,” he said in a quiet voice. “If you want that.”

You blinked, your heart soaring at his words. Yes, yes, yes, a million times yes. You make me feel safe and wanted and I want to be with you too and help you feel safe -“

“I’d like that,” was all you managed to say without throwing up from nerves.

Suddenly he did move; you heard the shuffle of the blanket and the clank of metal as he shifted. Your gaze flickered for one moment, catching the gleam of Beskar in starlight as he suddenly hovered over you. Your heart pounded - so loud in your chest you swore he could hear it - as the masked man looked down at you, incredibly close. But he didn’t move, his hands didn’t even twitch as he simply gazed down at you... Admiring you?

Your lips parted to speak, but his hand shot up, his gloved thumb caressing the front of your hairline. You shuddered, blinking fast as the back of his knuckle moved down your face. It slid down from your temple, over your cheekbone, and past your jaw in one smooth take. You couldn’t help it - your hands shot upwards, holding your palms flat against the indents in his helmet. Mando flinched, going to grasp your wrists as quick as he could, but the grasp wasn’t tight, just secure, keeping you from lifting your hands.

Your face flushed, realizing your mistake. “I-I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to remove it. I-I just wanted to touch you.”

“It’s alright,” Mando said, his fingers sliding softly down your wrists. Moving your hands, he guided them down to his own hands, gently curling his fingers in between yours and holding warmly.

You couldn’t help it, the sudden rush of emotions coming full speed at you from every direction - relief, security, happiness, joy... Love.

“ Ka’ra,” Mando said in the most gentle tone you had ever heard from him. You blinked, focusing back on the helmet and dark T-visor as you felt warmth streaming down your face. You were crying, and he had noticed before you, saying some word in Mando’a you weren’t familiar with.

“I’ve hurt you,” he said, starting to lean back and sit on his knees, withdrawing his hands.

“No-“ you started, sitting up and going to grasp his hands, pulling him back. “You-you didn’t.”

He stared back at you for a long moment. “You’re crying.”

Your lips parted, and your mouth slowly transformed into a smile, and suddenly you were giggling, throwing a hand over your mouth to stifle the laughs and hide how badly you were blushing. Mando just stared back at you, unmoving, tilting his head just once.

“I’m... I’m really happy,” you admitted through tears. “I thought you didn’t like me at all... Not like how I like you.”

His shoulders dropped, and even the helmet sagged a bit on his head. “Can you... Can you close your eyes?”

Your brows shot up at the request, wondering his intentions. But you nodded anyway, shutting your eyes and sitting on your knees, hands in your lap. You fidgeted nervously with the belt loops on your pants, listening for any sound from Mando. He didn’t move for several long moments, but eventually you heard the small shuffle of material being removed, and a sudden warm touch on your face. You flinched, inhaling sharply as his bare hand caressed your face, knuckles moving down your cheek.

“Mando-“ you murmured, worried for him, for the Creed.

“It’s alright,” he assured through the mask, knowing your thoughts by the anxious tone in your voice. His hand was slow, his thumb swiping away your tears but suddenly moving to brush against your bottom lip. You shuddered, wanting to shrink away, but his touch was soft, secure, and you felt like melting into him.

“What’s that word you called me earlier?” You asked as his second hand rose, cupping your cheek.

“Star.”

Love expounded in your heart for him, and before you could stop yourself, you threw your arms around his shoulders, tugging yourself forward right into him. He grunted as you hugged him, squeezing tight into the patches of flightsuit beneath the Beskar. But something was off; you had never hugged him before, but you could feel scratchy patches of hair and warm skin against your cheek. Gasping, you pulled yourself away, throwing a hand over your eyes.

“What are you doing?” You spluttered. “Where’s your helmet? Put-put it back on!”

He laughed, actually laughed, and the undistorted sound of his voice was better than you had ever imagined, deep, raspy, but with twinges of softness as well.

“It’s fine as long as you don’t look,” he said, assuring the nerves in your chest. You slumped, still keeping your hand over your eyes, but you could feel him reaching for your free one.

“Mando?”

“Touch me here,” he said, guiding your hand upwards until your fingertips touched his skin, his cheek. He released your hand, hesitantly letting you follow the softness of his skin, your fingers prickling against what you assumed was stubble. You shifted on your knees slightly, using your other hand to press against his jaw, and when you finally did cup his cheek, holding his face, he shuddered, releasing a heavy breath. His head lolled slightly, and you tightened your arms to hold him, letting him relax in your grasp.

“It’s... Been a long time, hasn’t it?” You asked, not wanting to embarrass him.

“Yes,” was all he said, and his hands were back on your face, brushing over your lips for a second time. You shivered, allowing your hands to rise a little higher, brushing against the soft, wispy hair on his head.

You chuckled under your breath. “I’m glad you have hair.”

“Why?”

“Not really a fan of bald guys, Mando, I’ll be honest.”

He laughed, breathing deeply so you felt him exhale onto your skin. “ Ka’ra?”

“Yes?”

“... Call me Din.”

And suddenly you couldn’t breathe, because soft, slightly chapped lips were pressing hesitantly against yours, and your mind couldn’t function right because his bare face, the face you had been wishing to see for months, was pressed right up against yours - his nose smushed into the apple of your cheek as he cupped your face in his hands, tugging your chin up the slightest bit just to be able to reach you. You could feel wisps of brushing against your forehead, and stubble grinding against your upper lip and chin. Did he have a mustache, or a beard? What color was his hair? Why did he suddenly smell so nice, not just like the wafts of smoke from blaster fire or cold, hard metal?

You couldn’t even respond to the kiss before he pulled away, brushing the bridge of his nose into your cheek as he relaxed against you. He was breathing heavily, hot breath washing over your face like billows of clouds. His hand stayed glued to your face, and you had just realized how tight your fingers were digging into his shoulders. You relaxed your grip, ducking your head and feeling the heat on your face from the sudden kiss.

“ Dank Farrik,” he whispered under his breath. “T-that was bad, I’m sorry.”

You giggled, pressing the crown of your head into his chest. “First time for everyone, right?”

“I guess so.”

Taking a deep breath, you rose again, keeping your eyes closed as your hands rose to his face, mapping his features. He was shaking slightly, sweat forming on the hairline brushing up against his ears. Kriff - he was nervous, shaking like a teenage boy.

Feeling deep sympathy that mirrored your own nervousness, you leaned in close again, running your fingers over the hooked bridge of his nose, the tenseness of his brow, feeling his eyelashes tickle your knuckles. You ran your hand over his hair once, trying to calm him, lightly running your fingers through his hair. His whole body shuddered and moved forward, one hand sliding up to grasp your shoulder firmly.

“Din,” you whispered, remembering his name. You heard his sharp intake of breath, the tremor that wracked his back as you held onto him. You tried to smile, but tears only built in your eyes again, and after you had moved to wipe them away, you cupped Din’s face.

“ Din.”

Swiping a finger over his lips, trying to figure out where to kiss him, Din whispered back, “Keep saying that and I may just have to extend your lease.”

Your heart soared, and you laughed out loud, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. “Din.” Then to his nose. “Din.” And the corner of his mouth. “ Din.”

He took your jaw with one hand, pulling you forward and back to his mouth. You could kiss him back this time, moving your lips in time with his as his hands found your back, pressing him flat against his chest. Your hands tangled in his hair, fingers digging tight into his scalp to keep him as close as possible to you. He made a small, desperate sound when your hand pressed down flat on the back of his neck, making goosebumps race up your arms. He was everywhere, hands moving down your back and lips leaving you breathless. He was invading all your senses, every dark corner of your mind where fear and doubt had only resided. Din was there instead, sweeping you up into his arms and keeping you close to his heart.

When you pulled away to breathe, both panting against each other’s face, you only allowed yourself four seconds before you kissed him again, surprising him and making him flinch. But he was becoming more and more soft by the second, melting into you. The Mandalorian you had been pining after for months, the one person you could imagine yourself with, was better than you could have ever pictured.

“I wish I could see you,” you murmured when he finally pulled away.

He pressed his forehead against yours. “You will, some day... I promise.”

[flying-elliska]

So idk if you still watch 911 but I’m feeling some type of way about it lol. So I’ve always been on the camp that buck and eddie are 100% queer coded but I never really thought the show would take it there because that’s the tale as old as time lol. But it’s never changed the fact that I definitely see a romantic quality to them. More so than other ships in shows that are canon 😂. But one of the peeps in charge basically said something along the lines of: it was never intentional on our part but when it goes out into the world people can interpret it how they want. People will see what they want to see and I’m not gonna tell them they’re wrong. And then she kind of proceeded to justify why people who see buck and Eddie has romantic as wrong 😂😂 what do you feel about them as a pair? I’d thought I’d lost any hope but what she said made me so mad. Not just buddie not being a thing or whatever, but more so what she said felt triggering in the sense that people across time have always told queer people that they read too much into things that aren’t there. When they are! And queer ppl are made to feel like they’re crazy. Idk it’s gotten me down that this shit is still happening. I’m glad that a show like that show you’re now reblogging about a lot exists. Not only pirates but gay ones. Subtle but the context is that they’re into each other. No reading subtext “wrong”. It’s refreshing lol

hello anon ! sorry that you're feeling down, let's see if I can lift your mood with one of my customary rambles lmao

I wasn't impressed with 911's last half season but I will probably catch up at some point. Anyway, I am also a Buddie shipper but I've always tried to keep my expectations low, because I've been there before.

Like, some of my first OTPs were a lot like this, and possibly worse (Destiel/Supernatural or Stucky/Marvel, for instance) - two badass dudes who'd go to hell and back for each other, closer relationship than with any female love interest, high levels of chemistry and subtext, would 100% be seen as romantic if it was a man and a woman, massive queer following writing meta and fic with more depth than canon ever had...and creators who kept insisting again and again and again that it was entirely straight. I got really tired of it, honestly. I know how it feels to get super hyped and to really see it and to end up feeling delusional. It's a waste of emotional and creative energy for me these days, so I'd rather invest in actual canon queer pairings - or keep my expectations very low.

I think it comes down to the same thing : heteronormativity. See, I think the creators are telling the truth - they didn't intend it as romantic. But sometimes stories get away from their writers, they end up writing something they didn't intend ; the question is, are they flexible enough to go with the flow, or are they going to stick to their first idea even though the characters might have evolved beyond it ?

I think there is very much a generational gap here. Most of the showrunners and writers involved in this grew up in the old school world where queer stories were almost inexistant, and the queer stories that did make it were firmly segregated - queer characters existed in this sort of contained ghetto where they were clear stereotypes, doomed to be tragic, evil, unhappy, etc - still at the very best there was always this very clear line between gay and straight people (and simply forget about bi/trans/nb/etc characters). Viewers had to be told right away who was gay and who was straight, otherwise it was uncomfortable. And generally if a character came out it would immediately become their entire story. You had Gay Stories TM - it was a genre in itself. The best version is where the gay character exists to carry a message, teach a lesson, or Provide Good Representation TM - but they still have to be Gay for a Purpose. There is this belief that there is a deep and fundamental division between straight and gay people. There's a reason why the rare bisexual in this model is almost always an evil slut - because they threaten this strict division, so their sexuality has to be attributed to their lack of morals or mental instability. Now, in these more progressive times, a lot of older people want to do better, but I think these writers still have this line in their head that separates gay from straight characters and it's impossible to cross. Even if they're queer themselves.

Meanwhile you have a newer generation of writers and audiences that are getting increasingly used to better, more explicit representation, where queer people are just people with complex stories that are just as rich and diverse, where the queerness is an explicit part of who they are that's not shoved under the rug but not the entirety of who they are either. Boundaries are more fluid, some characters experiment with gender and sexuality and it's less and less of a big deal, some people don't feel a need for boxes. Queer culture is acknowledged, queer identity is uplifted and analyzed in its full richness and nuance, it's part of the humor, there's obvious flirting, joy, playfulness - we delight in queerness, it's not just An Issue TM. A macho macho guy might turn out to be gay after several seasons and it's not considered absurd or weird. There is no longer this belief that that somebody's gayness has to be visible from outer space, or that there is something fundamentally distinct about men and women, or about m/f or m/m or f/f relationships - in fact some people might be neither or both and that's also great. Queerness bleeds into the mainstream instead of just seeking to assimilate. Some characters start out not written as queer but then the writers realize that wait, actually, this character being queer or these two characters being in love might greatly expand the story in incredible ways, so why not seize the opportunity and make queer fans really happy on the way ? And this is also a new language of love in general, based more on equal partnership, intimacy, wonder, mutual respect and support, transformative love, or even in more toxic dynamics, a mutual level of change and impact, etc - rather than an old fashioned thing with the strict gender roles where the dude is the savior/protector/etc and the girl is the prize/damsel in distress.

So, let's go back to the old school generation of writers. Under the heteronormative model, you write m-m and f-m relationships very differently (this is also the logic behind 'men and women can't be friends' - and lazy straight romance that assumes you will see a m/f pairing as romantic simply bc they stare at each other for too long). A m-f set of characters's default is romantic and a m-m pairing is platonic by default. So the same scene - for instance, a charged, long stare - is going to be seen as romantic for the m-f pairing and platonic for the m-m couple. This is what the writers assumed the audience would see. If you want a m-m pairing to be seen as romantic you have to explicitly label it as gay (generally with a lot of angsting, clichés and Lessons etc to signal to your straight audience that this is a Gay Story TM so they can prepare mentally and distance themselves without having to question their assumptions)

But our dear new generation doesn't fucking get that. They think it's absurd, and for good reason. Why should the same gesture be interpreted so differently depending on the gender of the people involved ? So then you have this m/m type of ship. The shippers are going to see the same language generally used in straight romances - heart to hearts, life or death situations, agonized looks, sacrifices for the other, symbolic parallels, commitments, long gazes, teasing, emotional intimacy, etc etc...and read it as also romantic, without the heteronormative lens that prevents the older generation from seeing this potential queerness.

Ok but - what happened in the writing room for us to get there ? Why do old school writers do use those tropes so damn much for their male characters ? Why are so many modern stories centered around 'bromances' ? Well, they're popular, for one. But another thing : homosociality is at the core of traditional masculinity, which is build by excluding anything female/feminine. And yeah, that's kind of gay, actually. But straight people have been raised to ignore that as hard as possible. And to go one further : queerness is one of the pillars of traditional masculinity - but straight people don't see it. Not just because this masculinity constructs itself with queerness as a boundary, as an other of 'what you should not be' (but end up being anyway because the ideal is impossible. under the regime of idealized toxic masculinity any man is always on the edge of falling into queerness. it's a regime of perpetual threat that always needs to be enforced harder and harder. lmaoo gay) Historically a lot of the typical, glorified spaces of masculine socialization and action hero icons - rugged cowboys, sailors, pirates, adventurers, soldiers, etc etc - tended to attract a lot of queer people, and so the same stories that serve to codify ideal masculinity are actually deeply queer in their fabric. Also there has been this tradition of idealizing these deep, 'brotherly' bonds between men, who tended to play a big role in idealized male socialization, as more noble and true and free than the utilitarian relationships between men and women that are limited by the constrained ideal of marriage, reproduction, family and home life. And these supposedly platonic male relationships are ultimately closer to the modern ideal of romantic love based on equality and partnership and emotional intimacy.

So you have your old school writer setting out to write a tough, cool action hero. He needs to get the girl to be cool but he can't get too close or emotionally involved with the girl or see her as an equal, because that's not cool. So any kind of deep relationship by default ends up being with men. Second step, your old school writer is going to use lots of macho very masculine tropes without realizing they're actually pulling on queer culture. One of the text book examples of this is SPN's Dean Winchester, whose creator, Eric Kripke, said he was inspired by Dean Moriarty from the beat novel On the Road. Now, Dean Moriarty is inspired by a real guy, Neal Cassidy, who was bisexual in real life, and there's actually an uncensored version of On the Road that is a lot more explicitly queer. Did Eric Kripke know this ? No, probably not. He pulled from On the Road because he wanted to allude to that sort of drifter, unattached, adventurous masculinity, he wanted that macho glory for his character - without knowing that in real life, a lot of those guys were, obviously queer as hell - makes sense for queer men to congregate at the margins of society, to need that freedom and that wilderness of the road, just as it makes sense for fans to read Dean Winchester, living on the margins, always fighting his demons and that heavy masculinity imposed on him by his father, as queer. The delusional ones here are not the fans ; really the problem, I would say, are the heteronormative blinders and lack of culture of the old school writers. They are using a slowly fading (but still annoyingly persistent) language, that of this willful ignorance that allows the heteronormative illusion to persist, this idea that the relationships between people can be arranged in neat little boxes.

I think when it comes to the 911 writers, they're obviously trying to be more progressive and enlightened than anything SPN ever did, but it's still a mainstream American procedural show, and I think they still have a lot of those old boxes in their heads. I don't think they intended it as queer and yet it's kind of crazy to me nobody realized the gay vibes of Eddie's introduction to the show and his rivalry with Buck at the start lmao like that gym staring scene ???? can you imagine if Eddie or Buck was a woman how that would have been read ? That's some heteronormative blinders right there, damn

And there's a reason why a lot of these controversies tend to happen around pairings of two tough, action hero, hyper-masculine characters. They're the last great bastion of heteronormativity. For a long time intimacy btw men was only shown in the context of death and violence, to mitigate any accusation of softness. Can you imagine how incredibly threatening it would be for your average straight dudebro viewer if this cool action hero guy they identified with turned out to be gay 'out of nowhere' ? (ie, without the usual Gay Story ahead please disidentify warning signs). The 911 writers know this, and they wouldn't risk it because I don't think they have either the guts or the creative leeway. On the other hand they know that the gay reading is popular with another viewer segment that is younger, more queer and female, so they keep playing up the vagueness and the allusions a little, which for me is the more reprehensible aspect of it all. This is how you get queerbaiting.

Anyway, what is my point ? Well, you're not delusional, darling anon. But I would also advise you to guard your heart a little, and maybe feed yourself with more explicitly queer stories, who do deserve your investment more with their courage. But I don't blame you for wanting more from these big mainstream stories that everyone watches on prime time TV. You deserve more, we all do.

I think we need to keep talking about heteronormativity and double standards and old hat narratives. The conversation around these ships frustrate me so much because they often, to me, focus on the wrong things - about what the creators secret intentions are or aren't. I think we should take them at their word when they say they didn't intend to make it queer, and then we should keep talking about how it is, anyway, and if they didn't intend that, that's their problem, not ours. We need to keep talking about the lazy, flimsy straight instalove story lines that are somehow held up as more valid romances than these really intense and intimate connections between men - why ? We also need more super tough macho guys to be revealed to be queer after a whole season at least of them kicking ass (did you see Black Sails yet lmfao best heterobaiting in history)

Now with Buddie I do have to add a caveat - there is this argument that because Buck and Eddie are basically co-parenting Chris, they have to be in love. I don't like that - I deeply believe in the importance of showing more platonic, friendship centered family arrangements and stuff that deviates from the nuclear family ideal, gay or straight. Like, some of my parents' friends basically helped raise me, they weren't in love with my parents lol. That said, this didn't convince me Buddie were not in love either. But my point is, I would find this story of platonic family bonds more interesting and revolutionary if it was actually a man and a woman helping each other raise a child without ever being romantically involved, just as friends. I want more stories that center the importance of friendship too, but I think it should be about m-f dynamics first. It's only fair lmao, because this whole 'they're just friends' thing has been used for way too long to dismantle queer readings of closeness.