#Throw it on the pile of difficulties

[goodjobjacqueline]

Okay.

Just listened to

And, for real, people with autism are way too relatable. I even took a few online adult autism tests and it appears that I have some things to discuss with my psychologist o_O

[gloomwitchwrites]

Missed Hints

King Thorin Oakenshield x Female Reader

Content & Warnings (per the warnings MDNI): fluff, light angst, humor, pregnancy, suggestive themes, fade to black, established relationship

Word Count: 1.8k

With the pregnancy confirmed, you decide to drop little hints until Thorin makes the connections.

A/N: for @protosslady

ao3 // taglist // main masterlist

“You’re pregnant, your majesty.”

Those two little words are enough to make time freeze. You are cold, a bit hesitant, and completely unbelieving of what you’re hearing.

“Are you sure?” you ask slowly, needing to know if you’ve heard her correctly.

The midwife, Lena, smiles broadly. “As sure as the sun rises in the morning. I’ve been doing this for close to thirty summers now. Rarely am I ever wrong.”

Lena’s assistant, Petal, matches Lena’s smile with one of her own. It is radiant and sunny, a stark difference from your sudden anxiousness. “This is wonderful news,” she exclaims. “King Thorin will be so pleased.”

“Indeed,” agrees Lena. “And so will the people when it’s formally announced.”

Both women sigh at the same time, but you are not nearly as excited as they are.

You and Thorin did try for a child many times in the beginning of your marriage. It was enthusiastic—and constant—but nothing ever came of it. While it bothered you, Thorin never seemed to care. He told you that all he wanted was you and that anything else was a bonus.

That is still true. Thorin loves you.

But Thorin is being pulled in a different direction. Erebor needs attention, and Thorin throws himself into service attempting to tackle every obstacle and difficulty on his own. Most nights, he comes to bed late—usually when you’re already asleep. When you wake, he is usually gone, off to take care of his abundant duties. They are piling up, becoming a burden. Thorin does too much, and while you admire him for his dedication, you miss him.

To know that you’re pregnant is a surprise. It’s not that you and Thorin haven’t been intimate, it’s just that it hasn’t been nearly as frequent as in the past. While Thorin is gone, you have your own duties and responsibilities. When the two of you do have quiet time together, intimacy is brief but passionate and almost always followed by the two of you falling asleep in each other’s arms.

“How far along?” you ask, trying to place exactly when it might have taken.

When your cycle never came, you didn’t think much of it. That happens sometimes. But then didn’t occur during the next expected timeframe. With its absence came irritability and random bouts of sudden crying you couldn’t explain. Certain foods smelt odd, and while you weren’t emptying the contents of your stomach, constant nausea made it difficult to complete daily tasks. You knew then that something was different. And now the midwife has confirmed it.

But even with an answer, you’re not sure how you feel.

“I’d place you at about ten weeks. Perhaps eleven,” answers Lena with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

“That far?” you squeak, wincing immediately with how upset you sound.

Lena and Petal’s smiles start to diminish. Their enthusiasm melts away, replaced with furrowed brows and soft lines of concern.

“Is everything all right? You look a bit faint?” Lena places her hand on your shoulder.

“Yes,” you reply, though it sounds like you’re gasping for air. “Surprised is all.”

Their smiles return but it’s subdued.

This is supposed to be a happy occasion. A child means an heir, and it also gives the people hope for the future. Much of Erebor is still in pieces from Smaug’s habitation. That doesn’t even begin to include all the damage and death from the battle. Dale, which was once abandoned and forgotten, is starting to see life again as well. The races of Men are returning to it, hoping to rekindle its long-extinguished flame.

A royal child is a symbol of hope. It’s a moment of celebration for everyone.

“I think a bit of rest for the remainder of the day will do you some good,” says Lena softly. “We will prepare some ointments that you can use to relieve any aches or pains. Bloating is likely, and as the body makes room for the little one, you’ll have some discomfort.” Lena taps her bottom lip and then turns to Petal. “We’ll need to prepare some liquid supplements to take with meals.”

“Of course,” nods Petal. She begins packing up their supplies.

Lena squeezes your shoulder before letting go. “I’ll come check on you in a few days. Bring a few things with me. We’ll talk more then, preferably with the father present.”

“Yes,” you reply, absently rubbing your belly. “That would be best.”

The two women bow and depart quickly, leaving you alone in the royal bedchambers. The room is quiet and your breathing sounds too loud in such a large space. With hands clasped, you twist them over and over again in agitation, needing to move but unsure of how to quell the anxiousness. It’s stubborn like the deep roots of a tree that refuse to give up the dirt.

How are you to tell Thorin? How do you approach this when you rarely see him. It’s just one more thing to burden him with. Perhaps, if you dropped a few hints? Covertly toss the pregnancy in his direction and see if he picks it up?

You know deep in your gut that you shouldn’t worry over this. Thorin will be happy. He will be.

You spend the rest of the day as Lena instructs. Reclining, resting, and reading. Thorin is supposed to return tonight for evening meal. Whenever he promises an early arrival, Thorin means it. Rarely does he make promises he cannot keep.

As dinner is brought in, and the table is set, Thorin walks through the door. There is a bit of soot on his cheek like he’s been in the mines, and his cheeks are slightly flushed. When he notices you, he beams, and there is so much love there that you simply want to melt into a puddle on the floor.

“My love,” he says, moving toward you swiftly. The embrace nearly sweeps you off your feet. He plants a kiss on your forehead and draws back.

“You’re filthy,” you laugh, looking him over. Thorin has been in the mines.

Thorin shrugs sheepishly. “I had to help dig. Structural issues.”

“Wash your hands at least,” you playfully tease.

“Not interested in eating a bit of dirt?” he asks with a laugh.

“Go,” you giggle, pushing away from him.

Thorin disappears and you take a seat at the table. He reappears a few minutes later, face and hands clean. The clothes he wore before are also gone, replaced with simple, fresh attire. He takes a seat next to you, gaze darting over the spread.

“I’m starving,” you begin because it’s true even though you’ve been consistently snacking all day. “It’s like I’m eating for two.”

First hint dropped.

Thorin laughs, and the sound is sweet like honey cake. “I promise, love. You couldn’t eat for me. My appetite is insatiable.” When Thorin says insatiable, he pointedly glances at you with a heated stare.

You perfectly understand his meaning.

You attempt a different angle. “I’ve also been having the oddest cravings,” you say, starting to load your plate.

“What do you mean?” asks Thorin before he pops a chunk of bread into his mouth.

“Different foods. Things I’d never eat together otherwise.” It is common knowledge that pregnant women will often crave highly specific foods and food combinations.

But Thorin doesn’t appear to pick up on the hint. He frowns, then shrugs, continuing to eat without making a comment.

Sighing, you pick up one the freshly made rolls. “I think these buns need a bit more time in the oven.” You stare hard at Thorin, mentally sending message after message. “What do you think?”

Thorin glances up at you then down at his own plate that has five of them. “I think they’re perfect but if you’d like them more done, I’ll let the kitchen know in the morning.”

“Thorin,” you say flatly.

“Yes, my love?” His head slightly tilts, and his gaze becomes pointed. He’s starting to pick up on your agitation. You don’t mean to be cross, but you were hoping that he’d figure it out so you wouldn’t have to tell him outright.

Setting the roll down on your plate, you promptly divert the conversation to a different hint. “We’ve never talked about where we’d put the nursery.”

Thorin’s brow rises toward his hairline. “I didn’t think you wanted to discuss that until we crossed that hurdle?”

Does he hear himself? Does he understand the context of what’s coming out of his mouth?

“You’re right, Thorin. I didn’t want to discuss it until we needed to.” You repeat his words back to him, slightly leaning toward him as you speak to emphasize the point.

Still, it brushes right over his head.

“Some of the advisory council members have brought up financial concerns. Rebuilding Erebor is important but the needs of the people are pressing. Food. Proper housing.” Thorin begins slicing into the chunk of roast on his plate.

Maybe you are going to have to say it outright.

Licking your lips, you ignore Thorin’s change in conversation. “I did receive a few inquiries about baby clothes. Offers to knit a few items,” you shrug.

“That’s kind of them,” says Thorin slowly. “But why—” he pauses, “you’re not—"

Thorin’s features suddenly shift, becoming almost unreadable. His jovial expression is gone, replaced with a stern consideration.

Are you going to have to shout it at the top of your lungs?

Thorin’s lips part. Promptly shuts. Opens again. “Are you…” he begins but does not finish.

You start to nod, urging him on.

Finally, like light igniting in the dark, Thorin’s face transforms into one of shock, then pure joy.

“Truly?”

“Found out just this morning.”

Thorin abruptly stands, pushing himself and his chair away from the table. He is moving toward you, grasping your hands, bringing them to his mouth to kiss your fingers.

“Why not say anything?” he asks.

“I did,” you laugh. “Many times.”

Thorin momentarily frowns before his mouth turns up into a soft smile. “Clever.”

“You’ve been busy and I was unsure of how to tell you.”

Thorin’s thumbs rub little circles over your knuckles. “You can always tell me anything. Whatever is happening. Whatever is on your mind. I wish to hear it.” He kisses the tops of your hands. “Especially something like this.”

“Are you happy?” you ask, voice cracking at the end.

“Happiest I’ve ever been.”

Thorin pulls you up from your chair, his large, muscled arm sliding behind your waist. He drags you to him, his eyelids lowering seductively, all gentleness leaving him to be replaced with desire.

“Are you up for a bit of celebrating?” he asks.

“What kind of celebrating?”

“The kind that landed us here.”

“Thorin,” you gasp, lightly slapping his chest. He snatches your wrist, kisses the pulse point there.

“The food can wait,” and his voice ends on a soft growl.

“Thorin,” you repeat, this time with a rasp to your tone.

He seizes it, draws you even closer. “The food can wait?”

You nod. “It can wait.”

taglist:

@foxxy-126 @glassgulls @km-ffluv @sweetbutpsychobutsweet @singleteapot @glitterypirateduck @tiredmetalenthusiast @protosslady @childofyuggoth @coffeecaketornado @cherryofdeath @mrsdurin @therealbloom @ninman82 @thewulf @ferns-fics @beebeechaos

[spicyspiders]

could i request a bottom male reader whom uses that trending pheromone perfume to seduce miguel, and because his (miguel’s) power comes from him splicing his dna w a spider’s he goes absolutely crazy for it? won’t leave reader alone which leads to smut? love your works and would understand if you’re not feeling this <3

Thank you! I've never heard of that perfume, but I hope this story did it justice.

If anyone asked, you did your best to try and keep your room clean and tidy. You were okay with small piles, but those messes were always quick to overwhelm you so you would try and keep your space clean. 

This could mean that there were times that you had difficulty finding certain things in your room if they were lost in those piles. If it could be difficult for you, you couldn’t imagine how difficult it would be for someone unfamiliar with your space. 

That’s why it confused you to come into your room to see Miguel throwing things around, obviously looking for something. 

“Miguel?” You asked and watched as his back stiffened. 

He turned to face you in a flash, frustration evident by not only his stiff posture, but the intense look in his red eyes.  “What’re you doing?”

“What am I doing? I should be asking what you are doing, because it looks like you’re trashing my room!”

Somehow even quicker than he had turned to face you, he had your body pressed up against the door, holding you by the arms in a tight grip. 

“Do you know what you’ve been doing to me?” Miguel asked, a wild look in his eyes. He leaned down and dragged his nose up the column of your neck. 

You knew Miguel wasn’t necessarily a vampire, but it felt like that rumor was always spreading at least every few months. You knew it wasn’t true, it was just a silly rumor after all, but right now, you were beginning to second guess. 

“I thought it was the injections at first, but then when I would take another dosage, I learned that you had locked me in this cycle,” Miguel said, pulling his face from your neck when he was done talking. Up close, you could see that his red eyes were nearly black, his pupils nearly swallowing up all of the color. 

“Cycle? What’re you talking about?” You questioned, trying to loosen your way out of his grip. 

Miguel’s fingers only tightened around your arms, his claws digging into the skin, “your smell,” he growled. “I nearly wore down the soles of my suit trying to track down where it was coming from. 

“It’s the cologne I bought,” you tried again to wrestle out of his grip, but your efforts were in vain, “I can go wash it off-”

Miguel cuts you off by pressing his lips to yours in a heated kiss. The hot press of his lips catches you off guard, making you gasp, which gives Miguel the perfect opportunity to push his tongue into your mouth. 

“I’m going to fuck you, and then I’m going to fuck you in the shower until that cologne is gone from your skin.”

You nod quickly, feeling a small shiver go through your body at the dark look that falls over Miguel’s face. “The only thing you’re going to smell like is me. Like you’re mine.” Miguel says, his fingers finding the zipper of your suit all too easily. 

Once Miguel has the top half of your suit joining one of the piles on your floor, his hands are running a warm path over the skin. His fingers find your nipples to tug and tease until they’re hard and sensitive. 

You let out a whine when one of his claws gets dangerously close to one of the nubs. Fortunately, Miguel’s fingers leave so they can continue their path down your body. 

When you’re down to your underwear, Miguel still hasn’t shed any of his suit. It’s something that you try to open your mouth and protest about, but you find yourself with his lips on top of yours, halting whatever you were going to say. 

Miguel’s tongue finds yours as it licks into your mouth. It maps over the space, from the roof of your mouth to your back teeth. He breaks the kiss after backing you up until the back of your knees meets the edge of your mattress. 

Flat on your back on your bed, Miguel still isn’t naked, but you’re down to your underwear, your hard cock straining against the fabric. Your mind goes blank when Miguel makes his way between your legs and grinds his hips down, and you can feel that Miguel is just as hard as you are. 

You gasp into his mouth when he presses his lips to yours again, this time you bring a hand to his hair so you can hold him steady and push your tongue past his lips. Just from looking at them, you knew his fangs were sharp, so you take extra care when running your tongue over them. The action makes Miguel whimper, the noise going straight to your cock. 

Your eyes fly open when sharp claws find their way to the last article of clothing you have on and shred the material enough that they can join the pile your suit made. You always found yourself throwing something away from the piles when you would finally clean your room, and this time, the underwear would join whatever else you would throw away. 

With your neck craned over to look at once was the underwear you just had on, Miguel took that time to kiss and nip with his lips and teeth at the sensitive skin of your neck. He made sure to soothe over the skin his teeth went over afterward, no doubt leaving a mark that you both knew would heal quickly. 

When you turned your head back to face Miguel, the sight of his naked body was what greeted you. His suit left both little to the imagination as well as a craving for more. There was no doubt that Miguel was attractive both in and out of his suit. What once covered his broad frame was now all gone, leaving you with the difficult choice of when you wanted to put your hands first. 

Your hand left his hair, leaving it messy as your hands made the short path down until your reached his broad shoulders. The skin underneath your fingers was warm, making a comfortably warm path down his arms. The valley of his abs was one you hoped to find yourself familiar with as you went there next. Starting from the hairs below his belly button, you made your way up his chest. 

Just like he did with you, you tease at his nipples. Whereas he only used his fingers, you had your tongue and teeth to the mix. You nip at one bud before running your tongue over the hardened skin. Once you’ve moved on to the other, Miguel is panting, and when you pull back and open your eyes, you see his have gone half-lidded and dark from the pleasure. 

“Tell me you’ve got lube,” Miguel groans, grinding his hips down so your hard naked cocks can rub together. 

It’s one of the things you knew the exact spot of in your room. You don’t want to move away, but you knew the few seconds of distance would all be worth it. 

Your stomach jumps in anticipation and fear when one of his lubed-up fingers makes its way between your cheeks when you come back to the mattress. Thankfully, his nails are now smooth, perfect to get you ready. 

You don’t know how many kisses are exchanged as he prepares you. They vary in intensity based on what you need. When one of his fingers brushes against your prostate, the kiss that accompanies it is wet and messy. When a second and third join to get you open, Miguel showers your face in soft kisses as you occasionally let out little noises of discomfort from the thickness of his fingers. 

“Please,” you beg over the noise of his three fingers pumping in and out wetly. You aren’t really sure what you’re begging for, but you’re pretty sure it could be an end to the intense pleasure he’s giving you. For Miguel to finally push you over into orgasm with his fingers. Or it could be for his cock, the sight of it you’ve caught glimpses of ever since his suit was gone. 

Just the sight of it was intimidating, but you still let out a punched out noise when Miguel nearly folded your body in half so he could rub the head of his wet cock against your hole. 

You wrapped your legs around his waist tightly, digging your heels into his back to try and spur him on. Your head fell back onto the bed when he finally pushed inside, Miguel’s hips falling forward until he was all the way inside.

You felt impossibly full, the thickness and length of his cock carving out a space deep within your body. 

You raised your head from the bed, feeling sweat drip down your neck. Miguel’s tongue followed the bead of moisture, panting wetly against the heated skin of your neck. He tried to kiss you, but all you could give back was drawn-out moans that he chased with his tongue.  

Opening your eyes after the kiss was done, Miguel watched you with an expression full of lust, his red eyes nearly black. Strands of his hair stuck to his forehead from sweat, sweat that was threatening to cause the grip of your legs to loosen from his hips.

When your legs began to actually fall, Miguel caught your legs, holding you down to the bed with a tight grip on your thighs. He kept his eyes on your face, watching as your expression morphed from discomfort to bliss as he pulled out and began a steady pace. 

Holding you down, Miguel thrust forward, again and again, your noises of pleasure being pulled from your body as his cock nailed your prostate. His heavy balls smacked against your skin, the noise of the motion filling the room as your sweaty skin made contact over and over. 

Your cock leaked against your stomach, making a messy puddle of sweat and precum. Your body felt tight like a bowstring, like your cock was ready to spill and coat the rest of your stomach with your cum. You knew you were close, not only from that feeling, but also the physical sensation in your gut, a warmth that was steadily spreading as your orgasm approached. 

“Gonna pump you so full, everyone will know what we’ve done. You’ll fucking reek of me, of my cum.” Miguel said, his voice gruff and deep, full of an intensity that you knew only he could deliver. 

The words sent you over orgasm, your back arching off the bed. Over and over the aftershocks ran through your body, sending sparks of pleasure from the tips of your toes to the crown of your head. 

Afterward, you could only lay there as Miguel used you for his pleasure. He held you in a bruising grip to create the perfect channel for his cock to fuck into. It was almost too much, stars of overstimulation bursting behind your eyes when he finally came after a few stuttered thrusts. 

You knew the ache in your body wouldn’t last, but you still couldn’t help the whimper that came from your throat when Miguel let your legs go. He maneuvered you around until his softening cock could slip free and he was able to wrap his body around yours. 

“You’re throwing that cologne away after I fuck you in the shower when we wake up,” Miguel said, and though he was tired, his voice was still full of the command that you were used to. 

“Maybe I should keep it know what it-”

Miguel runs his sharp fangs over the back of your neck, his claws once again making their presence known where his arms are wrapped around your waist. The prick of them cut off your words, but you can’t help the snicker that comes out. 

Nearly on the edge of sleep, Miguel pulls you out, “did you buy it on purpose?”

You let out a yawn before responding, “I wasn’t trying to seduce you, Miguel, I just liked the way it smelled,” you said, hoping that he wasn’t able to hear how your heartbeat stuttered from the lie. 

[st-danger]

Dew fuckin Rain real good right before a show but their timing is off and neither of them get to cum so they're just hard and wet and suffering on stage :(((((

It's their own fault, really. Their decision, their bad decision, and they can hardly be upset that their actions have consequences. However, they've always been overachievers, so- they find a way to be upset. Unbelievable to think something as unfair as this could happen to ghouls as wonderful as them. Life on Earth: full of woe and toil cruelly handed to ghouls as wonderful as them.

On the floor of the dressing room, on rough and cheap low pile carpet, Rain burns his knees while someone knocks on the door. Two sharp raps that make both Dew and Rain startle, throwing off the cadence of Dew's hips for a moment.

"Five minutes, you degenerates," comes the muffled voice from the hallway. Swiss, he thinks, though it doesn't actually matter who it is, since they'll dismiss it anyway. Dew especially can ignore anyone at any time.

"Yeah, we know," Dew huffs to Rain between thrusts, and begins to give it harder, faster.

Rain hangs his head, dropping down to his elbows because he can brace himself better against the rhythm that way. And then, to the door, "Five, yeah, got it," and there's a degree of clear difficulty with which the words are spoken, though he's sure that the messenger (who should be shot for messing up the rhythm earlier) has already stalked off. Voice obviously strained, but Dew has no shame about this, and it isn't like Swiss hadn't figured it out already. His hands tighten on Rain's slim hips, and he works towards pulling Rain back onto him to meet each roll of his hips. "C'mon," he urges, "touch yourself, we gotta- we gotta hurry up." He listens, adjusts so he braces himself fully on his left arm to free up his right, and reaches down, in between, pulling in time with what Dew gives him.

He's relentless, just this side of too much. Easier to slide in when he'd had Rain a few hours prior, though he hadn't been particularly nice then and there's an ache that accompanies the way he moves now. Not enough to wince, but enough to know he's going to feel it when he tucks himself into bed tonight. For now, the angle is good, his hand is slippery as it moves over himself, and-

Dew adjusts behind him, gets a hand in Rain's curls and gets one of his legs up, planting his foot so he has greater leverage. A part of Rain's mind goes utterly blank as the heat on his knees continues to burn, pulling on himself harder. Faster. Needier, the way Dew is acting. The backs of his knees are sweaty, and his hairline, too. The big regret will be that they've no option to shower or clean up properly, about to spent well over an hour sweating further under stage lamps and smelling of sex. A blessing, if you will, that the masks and uniform will cover the messy hair and pink, debauched faces. The uniforms are still hanging up, neat and unrumpled because they're considerate. Rain moans into the crook of his arm, fleeting thoughts about the shirt he'll need to sacrifice to get them both as presentable as possible drifting around the sharp shocks of pleasure every time Dew slams in, every flourish of his wrist around his head.

"They're gonna smell it on you," Dew grunts, getting a tighter grip of hair. Not quite mean, but far from nice. "Everyone's gonna know, aren't they? Yeah? Pretty little slut like you-" his voice breaks just for a moment before he's about to recover, and continues, "Couldn't wait, could you? Just had to have it? Wanted it this bad."

"Th'swas your idea," Rain slurs, and if he weren't so lost in it all, if he weren't as close as he is, it might have sounded more amused than petulant. "You're the one-"

"Can't help yourself," Dew continues, blatantly ignoring the opportunity to take ownership of his actions. Running his mouth, in his own little world. Talking more for his own benefit, more to work himself up further than it is to get Rain that much more keyed up. "Made for this, huh Rain? Make it worth my while now and, fuck, be good and maybe you'll get more of me later-"

A knock. Another one. And not just that, but a rattling of the doorknob as well.

"Hey, jackasses," comes Cirrus's voice. She's the only one able to sound that stern. "You better be dressed, we're supposed to be backstage already."

Much like waking up having missed an alarm, the shock of realizing just how quickly they've run out of time cascades down their collective spines like the worst, most needed cold shower. Panic, while sometimes a thrill, is most often a more efficient way to temper flames.

Dressing is a harried, awful disaster, with Dew pulling out quick enough they both cringe. Fingers fumbling on snaps and laces, cocks tucked awkwardly under waistbands because they're not yet soft enough to sit normal in their trousers anyway. Rain's knees are sore, Dew looks wild, and the dash to stage is as uncomfortable as it is embarrassing.

"Two hours," he says over the swell of music and the roar of the crowd, sliding a hand up Rain's chest to grab his throat while the stage is bathed in red light. Behind his bass, Rain aches.

[icyg4l]

PAC: September 2024 Predictions

Hello beautiful people! I am finally back and I feel wonderful! I hope you all do too! I am just getting settled into school and I feel very confident about what's to come! It has been a long time coming but I feel ready to launch into this new fall era! I hope you all are too! My booking site is officially open so I will link it here in order for you all to have access to it. I will be taking readings starting Friday. So without further ado, please select the photo that aligns with you and don't forget to tell your friends about me! I hope that you all enjoy!

Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-4)

Pile One: You are in a bit of a pickle, I can tell. Just remember this: the choice is always yours. You can choose what reality you want to make yours. I am channeling the movie ‘Look Both Ways’ starring Lili Reinhart and Danny Ramirez. You will have difficulties coming to a decision. Watching this movie can help with your indecision quite a bit. It also feels as though you need to cut certain things out. I am especially picking up on overspending and overeating. You also need to cut down on screen time and any other distractions that may be capturing your attention. For those of you that are attracted to men, you should stop hooking up with them. A potential pregnancy/STD scare could occur. Overall, it seems that you should be working on improving your health. Virgo energy is significant. By the end of October, you should see the results that you want to see. I am also channeling the movie ‘The Princess Diaries’ starring Anne Hathaway. You are on the brink of transformation. There is a reason why your body is not digesting foods properly at this time. There is a reason why you feel out of place at the moment socially. Your body is rejecting your current environment because you are being prepared for a new one. You may meet someone who you aspire to be like. They will help you get aligned with your goals (personal, career, financial, etc). Do not be afraid to use your connections. Networking will be helpful for you to do. Remember, a closed mouth never gets fed and plan accordingly for your upcoming journey. You know what to do. 

Cards Used: Page of Swords, 7 of Cups, 2 of Discs, The Hanged Man, Queen of Swords, 9 of Swords, The Magician, The Chariot, Princess of Discs 

extras: cutting out certain foods. resisting temptation. random dancing. struggling with internalized fatphobia/homophobia. halloween costume. myriad.

PIle Two: I feel like this pile works with older women or have the tendency to surround themselves with older women. Perhaps, you get along with them better? You are wise beyond your years. Seeking knowledge from them about a situation that deeply concerns you will not hurt. This month will be all about retribution. Some of you want to learn more about casting spells. Others of you could be trying to seek justice in the courts. Some of you want to perform street justice. However, you should weigh out the pros and cons. Does your idea of punishment match the actions of the person that has harmed you? This is exactly why you will need to reach out to someone older than you. This month, you may be spending more time with a mother figure especially if she is sick. During this time, you may find that your support system isn’t as supportive as you thought they were. It’s time to cut them loose. Also, if you’ve been lurking on their page hoping for an apology, you will not get it. It is best that you move forward so that you do not go crazy. Be prepared to take extra precautions this month so that you don’t get sick. Hydrate and moisturize. Take Vitamin C. Go for a light jog or a walk after you eat so that you can avoid throwing up. Also, you should go out to the city more often to admire the sights. Lastly, some of you will be getting pulled over by the police this month. I also heard “search warrant”. If you’re doing something that is questionable, nothing will be found. If you just get pulled over, you will be free to go. I suggest paying off any parking tickets like now though, just to be safe. 

Cards Used: The Empress, 10 of Cups, The Moon, The Hermit, 6 of Discs, 8 of Cups, Princess of Swords, 6 of Cups, 4 of Discs 

extras: fast track. appreciation day. MLK boulevard. sweet sixteen. i declare thumb war. swear jar. every kiss begins with kay. beauty queen. travesty. marshawn lynch. salty cravings. that time of the month.

Pile Three: Smiling through the pain, huh, lovely? You might not understand the significance of what you’re going through right now but you will get it later. For those of you who are in on/off again situations/romantic relationships in general, you need to know that communication is key! It’s so cliche to say but knowing that you have someone to depend on when things get rough can be what grounds us. You need to trust that whatever you are going through, you will get through this; the both of you. For those of you that are single, you have to be open to the process of getting to know other people. You are about to be in a soulmate connection but in order for you to meet them, you have to let them in! There is a reason why you are meeting them now. They will serve their purpose. No time will be wasted here. You are a very logical/analytical person, but there is no reason why you should be locking yourself in your room all the time. You need to be out with other humans. It’s a very good time for you to go out to clubs, restaurants, bars, clubs, jazz lounges, sip and paints, speakeasies, poetry slams, etc. Allow yourself to exist in the moment so that you don’t have to think about your problems. Be an escapist for once, and this brings me to my last point! You need to balance out your realism and your imagination. There is something that you have wanted since you were a child, but you are suppressing it. It could be wanting to try out a certain food, wanting to go to a different country, wanting to go to a specific artist’s concert, but you have been too busy to do so. You need to spoil yourself! Allow your inner child to be healed by actually listening to them. You can get your work done while also being fun! What’s the point in living if you don’t actually live, babe?

Cards Used: 6 of Cups, 3 of Cups, The Tower, The Lovers, The Star, The Hierophant, The Hanged Man, The Chariot, 8 of Pentacles 

extras: kitchen salon. ass-kisser. por favor. typing up papers. graphs. mathematics major. public health/public relations/humanities major. sour candy.

Pile Four: There are so many opportunities for you to market yourself, Pile Four. If you’ve been trying to expand your market/business, there will be plenty of opportunities coming toward you. If you have been trying to get a fellowship/grant/scholarship/loan, there will be an opportunity that fits you perfectly. But before you get involved with anyone, be sure that you read any contracts fully before signing so that you do not get involved in anything you don’t want to. I feel like right now, you may be experiencing boredom or a “cool down” period. That is fine, but prepare yourself to actually get up and take action. You will not be sitting for much longer. If there is a situation where you are looking for the resolution to play out in your favor, it will. It could be a familial/friend fight. It could be someone admitting to their wrongdoings. It could be a simple miscommunication being resolved in person instead of over the phone. Make sure that you have all of your ducks in a row so that no one can call you out on being neglectful. I feel like this pile needs to spend more time with their family members as well, lol. September will be the month for you to do that especially if it’s Grandma’s birthday. If you wish to quit your job, don’t. It will set you up for the future. You could potentially meet a client or a business partner at your job, so don’t blow it off just yet. You could also connect with someone who you will look forward to seeing everyday as well very soon. 

Cards Used: The Magician, 2 of Wands, 10 of Discs, Princess of Discs, 4 of Cups, Justice, Temperance, 8 of Wands, King of Cups, The Hermit.

extras: resistance. princess diana. dragonfruit. time tables. shifting gears. gta 6. pomegranate. pizza. oopsie daisy. thin veil. rising gas prices. california.

[cyb3rtarot]

Pick a Pile: Your Archetype & Career

Disclaimer: readings are not replacements for professional advice. Take what confirms, not confuses. You make your own life, not a reading. I’ll be looking at what traits you embody when working and what kind of work may fulfill that!

Help a Palestinian family!: 1 2 3 4 5

pile 1 🔗 pile 2 pile 3 🔗 pile 4

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Pile 1

Your archetype [High Priestess, Ace of Pentacles]: hi pile one! You guys do things from an intuitive place, naturally getting ideas of improvement. This is helpful to a group dynamic, the person that invents, creates, or comes up with the next venture. You may not know where this inspiration comes from, but this is your intuition or senses bringing things subconsciously perceived to the forefront of your mind. For example, you may have good pattern recognition with trends, or you may be able to blend many influences from others into an original style. If you’re spiritual, your inspiration may come from your practice. The ideas you come up with can be very fruitful; you know what will work. You could contribute a lot of plans to something you just joined even if you aren’t familiar with it. Whereas some are driven by passion or desire, the quality of what you produce doesn’t necessarily depend on whether you’re “into it” or not, because your intuition helps you rather than conscious thought or emotion. This inspiration may also guide you directly towards opportunities when you need them. You might be much more into the initial thinking process rather than the work itself. You can easily give ideas to others, but you yourself could take a long time or not be interested in implementing your own good thoughts and advice. Like offering others the seeds because you prefer not to grow them yourself. This could manifest as roles where you delegate a lot, give someone a concept to make reality, or provide the beginning material to a project. You may struggle communicating ideas though, whether this is difficulty being understood or a desire to withdraw. A lot of chaos you experience happens once you bring other people into the equation. It’s like you produce these amazing blueprints, but when you've had to share them, have conversations at work, or begun working with others, things have gone awry. You may have a cycle of negative experiences working with others. Something about the whole process keeps you trying to make it work, but still having some kind of burn or crash at the end. So, some of you may job hop or do more eccentric work.

What kind of work might fulfill this part of you?: It’s important for you to rest and not force yourself to be one way or the other. There’s opposite energy, where your ideas provide promising routes to take, but your sensitive & intuitive self suffers when you throw all your energy in. There may be a strong urge to isolate or work at unconventional hours. You may find success in supporting these parts of yourself, such as through remote or hybrid jobs. You could enjoy working at night or in another environment where the amount of people around decreases, including but not necessarily working by yourself. This doesn’t have to be your own home. Working with others through private consultation or in their home may be an option, or being something like a digital nomad. Anything with more intimate, cozy, or peaceful feelings. That doesn’t mean working in an office is out, but struggles in communication or processing ideas may improve in personal settings, or when you speak with consideration to emotion. Work that’s emotionally satisfying or requires a bit of sympathy may be fulfilling. When working with others, you may over-compromise or offer too much which leaves you drained, since you offer things that come from your deeper, intuitive self rather than passing thoughts or emotions. Work that can be done with less contact (for example, less big groups and more individual interaction), or work that can often be done at your own pace both may address this. Many of you may really enjoy physically making things; I see someone making pottery. You’re able to physically create things that are healing, or this process could be healing to you, even as a hobby. In general, jobs that require physical effort versus just mental effort get you out of your head. They allow you to work on tasks that depend on effort rather than navigating mental and social demands or office politics. Even being a healer, especially someone who goes to others’ homes and provides personal care, or working with medical equipment, could be one application of this. Contract work—something with a definite start and end—or something that guarantees work within a specific time may be compatible. This could also be presenting or writing contracts for others. Some of you could find fulfillment working with the government or an organization, especially something that requires you to physically go do work (like working inside and then working in the field or going to meet people), or something with a quiet environment. You may excel in giving others ideas or tasks and supporting them as they work on it, giving ideas for businesses, giving prompts of some kind or ghostwriting. You may also heal outside of the physical; some of you could feel fulfilled in helping people start a new phase of life. This could be coaching, social, or community work; I get personal vibes. If you’re religious, you may enjoy working at a place of worship or religious organization. Even providing religious or spiritual services from your home, bringing these to others, or providing support in a place of worship.

Extra Details: the moon/full moon (Capricorn full moon may be significant), hermit/isolation/shut in, late night, yellow, orange, space interest, gaming, Mercury/ Mars in difficult aspect to Sun/Saturn, natal oppositions, heavy Cancer or Capricorn placements, Earth stellium, 4th & 10th house, social/speech difficulties, cycles of burn out or broken partnerships, worked with (relationship) partners, working in fields you have no passion but no conflict with. If you don’t merge work & interests, you may have success incorporating more emotionally satisfying things into work—you guys should acknowledge emotional whims. You may divorce yourself from pleasure and ignore what you like. Balance is needed. If something like work takes up a lot of time, create reminders or pieces of space/time where you can engage with something that brings you joy/amusement, especially if you sacrifice satisfaction for others. Check in with your logic + emotions more, as intuition is just one part of the picture. Spiritual counseling or business, less traditional medical jobs (again I see something with med equipment such as hospice, or care for conditions that require devices), neurodivergence, sacrificing self to support a partner/ team (burn out!), (potential) catalyst for societal change, mothering tendencies. If you already felt drawn to pile 2, it may resonate

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Pile 2

Your Archetype [7 of cups rx, Queen of Swords rx]: hello pile two! You’re adept at making important & deep judgements. You get to the root of the matter and cut through BS. You have a sharp, investigative mind or are very knowledgeable in your fields of interest, and that allows you to see things others can’t always see, to evaluate, research, and bring clarity. You could excel in teaching or training. Your mental abilities also suit roles with objective judgements, such as a researcher, investigator, lawyer, or a decision maker. You could be someone who always knows things can be far better even when it seems like a far possibility (though some of you struggle with excessive pessimism), and from this you can create a real plan. You may enjoy presenting facts or ideas more than completing the project. These are not just academic or professional roles, but also you as a person. There’s air and water, logic & emotion, but rather than combine them I think you use logic to cut through emotion. You might be the friend who people complain to and you give simple advice on how they can fix their issue, but they just wanted to complain lol. The Queen of Swords is reversed like the 7 of cups, able to see things how the cups figure does, however the figure is still turned towards the many dreams in the cups. She can’t really offer her sword of truth because they can’t see her. You may struggle to communicate what you know or make connections due to finding it difficult to meet people where they are in their emotions or knowledge level. Some of you may have physical difficulties communicating like language barriers or speech disorders. Some of you are also pursuing something but hit a wall, for example, struggling to continue studies, or relationship stagnation, so it’s your own dreams that feel out of reach. There’s energy of being unable to accept something, though ironically you may dislike this trait in others. You have all the knowledge and skill to bring order in whatever role you pursue, but you need to ground yourself mentally. Give yourself space to process emotion in conjunction with thoughts instead of always handling them separately, especially if you know you’re not being honest with yourself. Try to imagine things from others’ perspectives. All the sense, fact, or skill in the world cannot get through a stubborn emotional wall. Many people are looking at things from feelings rather than objectivity, so if you want to communicate with them through the latter, try identifying what may be on their mind or how emotion could impact their judgment. It’s not that you’re invalid when trying to communicate, this just may help you handle emotion more smoothly. And, the same applies for logic. We have to accept when people aren’t ready to face something, grow, or learn; we cannot chase after them forever hoping they’ll change. You may feel yourself to be the one in reality while they’re lost in illusion, but by continuously chasing someone with words when they’re not listening, you have also placed yourself in illusion. Knowing logically something can change or knowing facts does not mean that's what will play out in reality, and reality does not always bend to our sense of what's right.

Your details remind me of pile 1, if you already felt drawn.

What kind of work might fulfill this part of you?: you may excel in working with children, families, married, and vulnerable people. You may find this confusing if you struggle with connecting to others’ emotions, but your mental nature may help you. Because, specifically I see a role where you solve issues. This could be being a teacher like I said, especially someone who teaches fundamentals, like a teacher to young students who helps them get a grasp on the world, or a tutor. You could show people what's possible after issues or stagnation, reintroducing people to life, giving a “new lease on life.” As one example, helping to overcome trauma. You may feel fulfilled in helping to give new starts through government, social work, or especially the adoption/foster care system. Some of you may be really good matchmakers or good at matching children to appropriate homes & schools. You’re capable of showing people a bright future through overcoming, introducing new phases, starting new things, or pointing people to resources. If you're interested in medical work, this also reminds me of rehab (any kind of rehab, including physical), and some of you may enjoy medical work that involves children or fertility. If you’re interested in legal, you could find jobs where you investigate and brings things to a close, such as finding missing people or helping people get away from abuse. There’s an emotional aspect to things that fulfill you, but rather than needing your emotions to make it work, more so you’d find fulfillment where people would appreciate you or you create a lot of hope for them, because these situations would require your intellect. There’s an energy of making promises and this could be contracts, such as a teacher’s contract, or I’m not sure exactly what this is but you may present contracts to people. And this is something I picked up in your archetype—you may drift into roles where you have the power to “let” people into an organization or unit. So, you may decide on others and see what places they’re suited for, whether this is organizing students, children, or some kind of recruiter, evaluator. Essentially, the work that seems fulfilling to you requires problem-solving skills and passing judgements for improvements, especially for those who don’t have anyone else who can do this for them. 

For many of you there’s already something specific that’ll bring you a lot of emotional fulfillment but you're resisting it because of the difficulties I mentioned above, or because your family is trying to turn you away from it, and this seems to be some kind of passion project, hobby, or business you want to run (something about food or nature)? You either need to sit with yourself and separate your thoughts and plans from family, or try to approach it from a new angle, such as taking a non-traditional route rather than what you’ve already tried. It’s okay to decide not to, but it should be your decision. For others, if that doesn’t resonate, you could find success in running your own business, but especially if you incorporate a hobby or passion into it, even if it’s not traditionally how it would be done. This pile may find more success if you allow yourself to go towards things that make you feel good rather than just what logically makes sense.

If you really struggle working closely with others, you may like offering remote services. For example, chatting with people or sending emails—rather than speaking face to face where you may be uncomfortable relating emotionally & spontaneously.

Extra details: internal work like meditation or therapy, hard time mentally accepting something or mental dishonesty, neurodivergent, stubbornness, something about academic dishonesty—I feel you would be able to discern when someone’s work is not authentic or you’d be good test proctors or something. Farming, culinary, cafes. Neurodivergence. Helping people who are separated from reality, or finding yourself in that situation even though you were careful. Uncanny intuition and/or divination. Blueberries and/or the color blue is significant, blue moon?

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Pile 3

Your Archetype [Strength rx, 5 of pentacles]: hello pile 3! You have amazing strength and courage, but it’s hard for you to feel this for what it is. At your healthiest expression, your archetype shows up as no BS. You have the ability to remove yourself from harmful situations even if it means enduring loneliness or hard times. You’re not the one who is going to self-sacrifice constantly hoping to turn the situation around with the power of light and friendship, you’re the one that says I’m out of here lol. “My ride’s comin I’m leavin’ 🤨.” In less healthy expressions, you feel disconnected from your own bravery, feeling weak or cowardly. You may flip extremes, running away from anything a little scary, to clinging onto actually scary things & people for a sense of security.

There’s two different main groups in this pile. Some of you became this way because you had to already endure or leave a messed up situation. For a lot of you, I’m seeing someone played games with your mind or exploited your friendship, or innocence? I get this hopelessly in love energy from a lot of you and I think you learned a hard lesson through relationships, especially some of you mixed work and relationship (which is not always bad but always potentially messy). So, you’re currently in a vulnerable energy and that reflects in how you express yourself in all areas. If some kind of work or passion starts to sting, you may retreat quickly and move to the next thing even if it seemed promising. The other group needs to hear a message about moving on. This is for those of you who know you’re being mistreated or in a harmful situation, even sacrificing material stability and peace to have someone by your side. Of course, that’s going to reflect in the reality you manifest. On the top of the deck I saw the Devil and 6 of pentacles, but the Sun was behind the 6 of pentacles. It’s like you’re purposefully feeding something to hurt you, knowing it will hurt you, and then expecting a different outcome. Why? You’ve seen the result; initiate the choices needed if you truly want something different. Whatever vice or harm you’re allowing towards yourself is very tied to stagnant financial energy or lack of ambition you may be experiencing. The larger message for everyone is to believe in your own strength. Being in 5 of pentacles energy is not all bad; the lights behind the travelers remind us help is closer than we accept. But, you don’t have to take every shiny pentacle that rolls your way; it’s fine to endure a journey to find what’s right for you. Maybe you feel you’re not that strong because you don’t endure things other people do, or you haven’t gone through certain things, made certain choices. Even feeling childish. But there's vibrant strength radiating from you like the Sun. And if you do feel more child-like than your peers, that’s one of the good qualities of The Sun, not a bad one. It takes a lot of courage to choose less convenient paths. And if you have stuff poking holes in your energy, that impacts your life negatively! If only you don’t give your Sun away to things that leech off you; your energy is a lot stronger and more organized than you think. 

What kind of work might fulfill this part of you?: I'm getting a message rather than specific jobs. The work that fulfills you will be more apparent as you do more inner work. This work (that fulfills you) is a marriage of your shadow side with your tranquil side. There’s a need to go deep into your pain & shadow, and to accept or show compassion to these. I’m not sure if there’s a disconnect between your conscious mind or external life and your pain, for example, maybe you have a lot of trauma you’ve not really reflected on or have only scratched the surface of. Maybe you aren’t really sure how to reconcile your agony and hard times with other parts of your life and self. There’s two polarities, and your message is about bringing these in union, meaning not fully merged as one. It’s okay if your shadow side, trauma, agony, pain, or dark emotions don’t fully make sense or can’t be perfectly merged with other parts of yourself right now. When people do shadow work, a lot are trying to eradicate their shadow because it’s associated with pain. We see shadow work as our way to triumph our trauma, to destroy it. When we speak of healing, people usually mean controlling their shadow, to get rid of it through merging it or turning it into light. I believe we’ll all keep running into the same problems collectively until we stop trying to kill the shadow. The shadow is not pain, it forms in response to pain. It’s a proof of existence, of an experience having happened, but not the experience itself. Work that fulfills you will come out of allowing this shadow side to exist with the creative, productive, enlightened etc parts of yourselves. By doing this, things you produce will naturally speak to others, or your impact will be farther reaching. For example, if you worked in the medical field, you’d excel in providing true comfort to patients, especially as some kind of doula or even a death doula. If you created art, your art would really speak to people since you could incorporate your shadow instead of only light & fun. If you did spiritual work, you could relate more or provide more accurate service. Basically, acknowledgement of your own shadow gives a platform for the same to happen in others, and in this process lies something that speaks to your soul.

A lot of you are struggling in mental anguish, or a feeling like never waking up from a bad dream. I understand how you feel, and I wish I had a better answer for you. No matter how much we speak about inner peace or life advice, real life and brain chemistry is not that simple usually. In spiritual communities, I think we’ve regressed in accepting the shadow, partially due to ideologies that rely on never acknowledging what we don’t want to be true. I think you should feel whatever negative emotions you have without self judgment. Even without mental judgment; try not to extrapolate your pain, like saying your life will always be terrible because you’re in pain now and have been. Even if you think that, try to let the emotions pass through without telling them what they must mean or be, like a passing stranger you’re observing. Pain tends to blur clarity, but we think this is not true for mental pain even though that can be the most confusing kind. I’m not saying doing this will fix your life problems, but someone needed to hear that. I always encourage you to take advantage of mental health resources that are accessible if needed.

There’s also a repeating theme about awareness or alertness. Pain is pushing you into an unalert phase? You’re encouraged to not over-analyze your pain or anything else. You may benefit a lot from an activity or routine that forces you to be wholly present or engrossed for an amount of time. Something physically engaging or a sensory experience especially, even just making yourself stand in the Sun for longer than you normally would (and wear sunscreen lol) ((although I’m really talking about something even more engaging, something that fully takes you out of your head like a martial art? Physically crafting something, walking outside, etc. Stuff like standing in the Sun is okay, but the point is to not be in your head or on devices for a set amount of time. Mental activities or devices may keep you too close to your thoughts and not as aware)).

Extra details: work relationship or friends with benefits, relationship or feelings for childhood friend, or a childhood friend going through relationship troubles, love triangle or 3-person relationship. Varied job interests or no specific interest in one field. Bright eyes, beautiful eyes, or intriguing gaze. Need for inner child work or acknowledgment, especially if having issues with peers from childhood. Spiritual art, or the process of exerting effort can be a spiritual experience for you, even exercising, anything you throw yourself into. For some of you, creating art that makes you feel nostalgic or is based in your nostalgia might be rewarding. Dark circles or lines under eyes, tiredness on face, financial struggle.

Thank you for reading!—Tip Link  |  Paid Reading Info in Pinned Post!

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Pile 4

Your Archetype [9 of cups, the Magician]: hi pile 4! Your archetype gives self-assured or self-reliant energy. I’m not saying this is your personality, but these parts of yourself shine through energetically when working towards something meaningful to you, and these are the personalities of the figures in the cards (so, this may be an energy you're developing if you currently feel like the opposite). There’s a sense you hold yourself responsible for your fate, or that by your own hands you can create your success. The Magician is not waiting for someone to come and give him something—in Magician energy, you yourself bring the magic. Maybe it’s been necessary to be self-reliant as there was no one coming to hand you a pentacle or comfort, and the cards on top of the deck suggest this has been a difficult life for many of you (6 of wands rx, Chariot rx..). There’s a sense of taking something within yourself and using that to create more of what you want, though I’m not sure if this is using your talents or just being resourceful. You could be very skilled in emotional alchemy, taking your own struggles and turning it into another situation, though due to lack of support it can be difficult for many of you to reap your just rewards of this effort. I feel intuitively called to say that anything worth having begins in yourself; I feel your life demonstrates this. You’re able to enjoy what you have or what results bloom because of your inner nature, because there’s fullness in you that allows you to project that externally. It’s the opposite energy of someone who can't appreciate or multiply a blessing because of feeling fragmented inside, so they keep getting more things to fill the fragmentation. Rather, you’re able to take what you have inside and make something from scratch. You yourself are enough to make rewards, and you can recognize a blessing when it comes. This pile also loves to have a good time or indulge a bit, so you may be drawn to work where you can keep your fun-loving energy going, for example many of you may enjoy an environment where coworkers regularly go out after work, or you may like mixing social life with work.

What kind of work might fulfill this part of you?: you may find a lot of fulfillment in community work. Rather than being the boss or someone who has control over others, you may enjoy being on the same level as those you’re working with, forming connections directly rather than operating within hierarchy. This pile has very social & communicative energy. That may help you find enjoyment in people-based work, or people will find a lot of enjoyment in you. Earlier when I was pulling my homemade oracle, “spiritual protector” came out. I thought maybe it wasn’t relevant to your reading, but I see you guys are spiritual protectors for the collective. Some of you exude energy that makes people want to run to you or be comforted by you? Or the way you are when socializing is pleasant or life-changing for those in your energy. You guys may particularly find fulfillment in work that deals with messier parts of life. There’s elements of pain, sorrow, hurt, but not from you. I think you may find fulfillment in working with vulnerable people, such as the homeless or people with addictions. I noticed this in other piles too, but for you guys it’s the most direct as your work may find or bring people who are in the midst of that pain. Whereas other piles seemed to offer care after the trauma, your cards suggest not necessarily giving rebuilding material, but meeting them in the storm so they can get to the other side, like a rescue. You may like working with people who just lost everything or were exploited—reaching these people when the hurt is still new may be meaningful to you, or even literally going to them while these situations are taking place such as disaster rescue. What stood out to me is when I read your archetype, the 6 of wands was reversed on the top of the deck. But for this part, the 6 of wands is upright on the bottom of the other deck. You might be motivated to help others directly because of hardships you went through. But also, the support you’ve lacked may be found through those you meet in work, hobbies, or those you help. It reminds me of the typical story we enjoy—the hero is rejected by their origin, but is loved by the community they find and save. I’m not saying you need to save anyone to be loved, but you may find a lot of the social and emotional fulfillment that was withheld from you through your continued efforts or passions. This process may be healing or bring enjoyment—and definitely could be healing to whoever gets to know or support you. You could be a literal protector—you may find fulfillment in work where you help people not make bad decisions, avoid a wrong turn in life, or just offer a helping hand and shoulder to cry on. Even physical protection or aid. You would be that person who shows life is not so bad, and even when it is, it’s not hopeless. You'd be the school counselor that makes a difference in a student’s life. If you did any kind of counseling, your office would be a safe haven. This does not have to be the literal job itself; this is a role you could embody in any environment. Community, social, or volunteer work may just be the most obvious application. I see some of you would enjoy being bartenders or working in a similar environment, one that will listen to patrons and be a kind face. You could have this effect through whatever you create; some of you may enjoy gardening or working with plants? With that example, the effect you had on the environment, or the artistry you create would then create joy and healing in others. Your energy shines through what you produce even if you’re not physically present.

There’s a lot of bold energy, but I pick up on feeling like it’s a facade, or a nagging feeling that you’re of lesser value. The things said throughout your life to oppress and demean you are not a reflection of you, and neither is the nagging voice. Your emotions alone don’t have the means to show you all that you are, so don’t rely on just feelings to measure your self worth.

Extra details: found family, a lot of drinking especially something blue? Or going out with friends a lot, hanging around water like a stream, gin, birds, very chatty personalities! Mercury may be a prominent planet in natal or solar return charts. Bullied in school or by family, or both at the same time. I heard salsa, not sure if the food or dance is significant. Partier. Gardening, farming, working with the natural environment may be significant, including water, some of you could enjoy or benefit from cleaning up locally for example, or spending more time near flowing water and lots of vegetation if you don’t already. You may find some kind of inspiration, or being near flowing water may help you to think through things, have a eureka.

Thank you for reading!—Tip Link  |  Paid Reading Info in Pinned Post!

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[hard-core-super-star]

caught myself [K.Bishop]

pairing: kate bishop x reader

summary: kate's competitiveness gets in the way of her seeing you for who you truly are.

warnings: technically none?; idiots in love; kate technically does knock R on their ass but no one gets hurt; yelena being an awful wingman; kate's sad puppy dog eyes; me feeling rusty af after writing so many serious essays

wordcount: 1.6k

a/n: me writing something else instead of focusing on the large pile of requests i still haven't gotten to? yeah, it's more likely than you think. i'll try to get into a somewhat normal posting schedule at some point if uni ever stops kicking my butt BUT FOR NOW, enjoy what was supposed to be a valentine's day special. also, don't worry, kissing in the crossfire part two WILL be happening!

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You’re not sure what’s worse, being the newest member of the Young Avengers or being the member with the most obvious crush possible. It’s like the universe didn’t think you had enough difficulties getting used to life with your new team, it also thought you needed to juggle having the biggest crush on one of your teammates simultaneously.

Because fighting criminals daily isn’t hard enough, right?

You had tried your hardest to keep your massive crush on a certain purple-loving archer a secret but your plan had gone out the window the second Yelena figured out the hidden feelings behind your lingering stares. To say she didn’t understand your fascination with Kate Bishop would be an understatement but at least she tried to help…in her own, weirdly aggressive, way.

Her help mainly included making ridiculous comments at your expense. Comments that went completely over Kate’s head every single time and only led to awkward silences and unanswerable questions.

You thought the Russian was on her way to giving up and letting you handle your love life problems on your own but of course, when has Yelena given up an opportunity to embarrass someone she cares about?

It’s exactly Yelena’s love of embarrassing you that’s forced you into a situation you wouldn’t be able to get out of if you tried: sparring with the purple archer herself.

Training in the same room as Kate is already bad enough, especially considering her habit of wearing gray sweatpants and a tight purple cropped shirt, but having to spar with her? While she looks that good? And she has that stupid smirk on her face because she knows she’s going to win?

Nothing you could do could stop you from looking like a goddamn fool.

And that’s exactly what you look like right now.

It’s not bad enough that you can’t concentrate enough to anticipate her punches, you also don’t even know where to look because all of her is so damn attractive. It’s impressive and annoying all at the same time and it’s unfortunately taking up too much of your brain space right now.

You’re acutely aware of Yelena’s disapproving looks but you’re even more aware of the constant glares Kate throws in between rapid punches. Your brain may not be working well enough for you to spar correctly but if there’s one thing you can do, it’s dodge…which only infuriates the archer.

“Will you quit moving?” She huffs, only barely stopping her lips from forming a frustrated pout.

“What else am I supposed to do? Let you punch me?” You reply.

“That’d be a good start, yeah.”

“Ladies, quit chattering!”

You know Yelena is being annoying on purpose to get on your nerves but that doesn’t stop you from turning to glare at her. Your mouth barely begins to form around the complaints you want to hurl at her when Kate takes her opportunity.

It’s technically cheating, and it’s incredibly advantageous, but she’s not thinking about any of that. All she wants is to win and she doesn’t think twice. She swipes her leg under both of yours, catching you by surprise and instantly sending you crashing down onto the hard ground.

You don’t get a second to react before the back of your head makes contact with the floor. Large black spots fill your vision as Yelena starts throwing out curses at the startled archer. You barely make out the outline of Kate’s worried face before your eyes slip shut and darkness overcomes you.

You don’t know how much time goes by, or how many times Kate gets scolded in increasingly more aggressive Russian, all you know is that when you wake up…you’re not alone.

Your first instinct when your eyes open again is to sit up but a gentle hand pushes you back down before you get too far. “Don’t try to move, you’re gonna get a killer headache. Trust me.”

“Oh, I’m supposed to trust you after you knocked me on my ass?” You huff. It makes you sound more like a kid throwing a tantrum than an angry Avenger but you don’t really care.

“We were sparring, what else was I supposed to do?”

You don't notice the small grin that accompanies her recycled words, too upset and embarrassed about getting your ass handed to you by someone who's too lost in her own world to notice how much you like her.

“What else was I supposed to do?” You mock her. “Did you try not being a jerk?”

“That’s not fair. You’re the one who ignores me all the time but I’m the jerk here?”

Her words don’t catch you as off guard as the look on her face. You’re expecting to see flashes of the arrogant archer most of your teammates claim exists behind the usual warmth Kate so easily radiates. Instead of anger or arrogance, though, you come face to face with the most overdramatic pout you’ve ever seen.

And you suddenly understand why people say there’s a fine line between love and hate. Because it would be easy to think Kate Bishop is the most annoying person in the world if you didn’t also think she’s the most adorable person you’ve ever met…despite the constant ease with which she turns everything into an argument.

“What are you even talking about?”

“You don’t like me! And you don’t even try to hide it!”

All you can do is stare at her and wonder how the world’s greatest archer also happens to be the world’s most oblivious person. “You’re an idiot, Katherine.”

Her eyebrows crinkle in disgust but you’re pretty sure it has more to do with your use of her legal first name than the insult you push her way. “You sound like my mom.”

“You’re not helping your case.”

She opens her mouth to reply in an instant, a half-formed stupid sentence already forming on the tip of her tongue. You’re expecting yet another unnecessary argument to break out. Yet another reason for you to give up on all your attempts to build a bridge of thoughtful actions and sweet words that will lead you to who Kate truly is under the mask she so effortlessly wears around everyone else.

You’ve learned to expect anything from Kate Bishop. Especially the unexpected.

“I know. I’m sorry.” She adds the tiniest smile and most awkward shrug you’ve ever seen to her soft-spoken apology.

“What did you just say?” You ask, wondering if you hit your head hard enough to be imagining this whole interaction.

“You heard me,” she replies but her tone carries more traces of embarrassment than the cockiness you’re used to. “You’re right, I’m an idiot.”

You’re left dumbstruck, waiting for the other shoe to drop. There’s no way the archer can say those words without some sort of snarky comment coming after it. So you wait. Watching her with curious eyes that only fuel the nervousness bubbling underneath her carefree posture.

It’s strange to realize how little you genuinely know about her. Having a crush on her has ironically been the easiest part of everything. Sure, it’s awkward and annoying and ridiculous but believing you understand her is easier than accepting the fact that Kate’s never let you in.

So why would she start now?

“Are you going to say something?” The subtle crack in her voice reveals the truth she’s trying to hide behind her usual smirk.

There are so many things you want to say but you’re still a little lightheaded and the sudden change in her attitude toward you isn’t helping you keep yourself in check. “I like your smile.”

“Oh.”

You could easily dismiss her reaction as indifferent if it weren’t for the pink hue emerging across her cheeks. It’s subtle and warm and…real. Like her. And it suddenly dawns on you that you’ve never seen Kate Bishop flustered before.

Especially not from one of your compliments. It’s different…and you really like it.

“Can I ask you something, Kate?”

She looks away from you for a second, almost as if she’s scared of what you might say. Of the possibilities that lie in your unspoken feelings. “Sure, yeah, go ahead.”

Your mouth begins to form one of the many questions you’ve wanted to ask the archer since you met her but then her eyes find yours again and you get a glimpse into the fear-filled storm inside their depths.

It’s subtle but the armor made from cocky grins and imperfectly timed jokes begins to crack.

Which means there’s no way you’re going to spring such a loaded question on her just yet. As much as you’d love an answer to the one thing that’s been haunting you since you realized your true feelings for her, there’s no way you’d force her when it’s clear it’s been far too long since she’s let herself be vulnerable around someone.

So, you settle for the only thing you need right now: her.

“Can you stay with me?” You do your best to ignore the warmth that spreads along your face as the words slip out of your mouth. “Yelena doesn’t have the best bedside manner.”

A beat of silence goes by before her lips form a genuine smile. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Her eyes nervously flick around the room in search of somewhere to sit. You watch her for a few seconds before putting her out of her anxious misery.

“Kate…” You trail off, doing your best to hold in your laughter as you pat the empty space beside you. “You can sit here, I won’t bite.”

Your words are all it takes for her nervousness to turn back into her usual goofiness. “Really? That’s not what I’ve heard…”

“So you do talk shit about me!”

[atzaurora]

빨다-𝒔𝒖𝒄𝒌

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✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

ᥕ᥆rk ძіs𝗍rᥲᥴ𝗍і᥆ᥒs

𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓: Mingi

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: fem!reader x idol!mingi

𝒕𝒚𝒑𝒆𝒔: imagine (smut)

𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑: dating

.ᐟ.ᐟ𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔.ᐟ.ᐟ: 18+/smut/suggestive content, MDNI!!! giving head, swallowing

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: inspiration || Mingi was too occupied with work the whole day, making Y/N needy for him, so she decides to give him a little break from work.

𝒘/𝒄: 936

𝒂/𝒏: I had this idea immediately when I saw his live so here you gooo! if you have any ideas or wishes let me know, requests are open

here's my 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕!

𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕 here!

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You had him in your eye all day. He was working on song lyrics, practicing choreos and doing all kinds of stuff. Except you. He wasn't even looking at you the whole time, his eyes being too focused on the pile of sheets in front of him. But you knew a way to get his attention. One of many ways of course, but this was definitely the one you wanted to go for today.

Mingi was sitting at his desk, head resting in his palms as he scribbled some words down. You stepped through the door, shutting it, his eyes lingering on you for a second just to see who it was. "Hello, baby." He greeted you, but his eyes met the paper after a few seconds again. "Hey" you responded, not happy with the fact that his attention was still not on you. "What are you doing?" You asked, acting rather casual, knowing you were not gonna keep this conversation casual. "Still working, love." He shortly answered. You nod, walking closer up behind him, leaning your body against his back. "Can you take a break, please?" You tried getting him to stop working for god's sake but he wouldn't budge. "No, we can do whatever later." You shake your head "No, I need you now." He frowned at you, "In what sense, love?" You shrug your shoulders, "Whatever you want, but to be honest I need you now, in that sense." You saw him chuckle immediately, laying down the pen and turning his chair around so he was facing you. "A little break won't hurt, huh?" He winks at you and you knew you'd won. You had him and his full attention.

You wasted no time climbing up onto his lap, straddling him as your fingers wrap around the back of his head and neck, keeping him in place as you worked your lips against his. Your kisses grew more passionate each passing second, the sound of them starting to fill the room. "Oh~ baby" Mingi moans into the kiss, as you bite down on his lower lip. You let out a small giggle, your hands trailing down from his neck, over his chest. You could already feel his toned body even through the fabric of his clothes. Your hands travelled lower, till you reached his trousers. Palming him through the heavy fabric was already enough for him to throw his head back, his hips jerking up into your touch.

"Fuck~ you're so responsive." You mumbled through your lips, opening the button on his pants. The only response you got was a low groan and his hands tightening on your waist. He eyed you, his head still positioned against the back of his chair, but he still followed your movements.

You didn't take long to open his pants, his hard erection already showing a bulge in his boxers. He lifted up his hips, even though you added extra weight to it, he moved up with no difficulty, allowing you to slide the fabric off his waist. He almost whined, once your hands were back on his dick. You chuckled at how needy he had become all of a sudden. "Shut up-" He groaned, noticing your amused face at his actions. You shrugged, tucking your fingers under the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down.

His cock already leaked pre cum and was standing straight against his stomach. Each time you were amazed at how big he actually was. "You like what you see?" He teased, his hands, massaging your boobs through your shirt. You nod, not even trying to hide the fact that you were staring.

You began stroking him, pumping him up and down. He liked it, which was obvious due to how many sounds he made. "I wanna fill you up so badly, princess~" He moaned yet again. "I know, but I have something better in mind." You smirked up at him, leaving a confused expression on his face.

You climbed down from his lap, kneeling down in front of him. He immediately understood where this was going. Mingi took all of your hair in his fist, holding it up behind your head. You took his length into your fist, beginning to stroke him again. He threw his head back again, whimpering at your touch. You licked his tip, collecting all of the pre cum he was leaking. "Good boy." You mumble before taking him all the way in your mouth. You took him in, till his cock hit the back of your throat and the rest you couldn't fit, you took into your hand. "Oh fuck~" He groaned as your lips wrap around him, "That's it, baby." He praised, keeping his head back and jerking his hips up, 'helping' you with what you're doing.

You started sucking and swirling your tongue around him, occasionally sucking in your cheeks as well, to wrap around his member tighter. Mingi couldn't stop moving his hips, but you didn't really mind and just let him continue. You continued sucking and licking till you felt him twitch inside your mouth. "Oh~ I'm close, princess." He moaned and after one last pumping with your fist, you felt his hot load shoot to the back of your throat. You waited till he emptied everything out, releasing him out of your mouth. "Swallow." Mingi said, looking down at you. You did as he said, swallowing every drop of his cum and sticking out your tongue, to show him you swallowed. "Good girl." He praised you, giving you a heated kiss on the lips. "Now let me fill you up, love."

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[marvelstoriesepic]

Paranoia

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Bucky comes home to an unlocked door - his mind convinces him something horrible happened to you

Word count: 1.4k

Warnings: angst, fluff

author‘s note: Y‘all this is my first fic. So excited to get this all started!!

Masterlist

It had long gone dark as Bucky made his way home to you. A mission in Vienna occupied him for the last couple of days and he couldn’t wait to hold you in his arms again, breathe you in, and smoother you with kisses. Communication outside of the headquarters was denied much to Bucky’s dismay so instead of your melancholy voice he only got to hear annoying and unhelpful remarks from Sam through his com, who was tasked to watch his six.

He weaved his bike through the mostly empty streets, definitely faster than he was supposed to but eager to see you.

Walking up the steps to your shared apartment he couldn’t resist the giddy feeling welling up inside his chest, warmth spreading throughout his body. You and Bucky moved in together one year and three months into your relationship. Although it was his place too - you reminded him several times - he let you decorate it the way you wanted it, only throwing in a remark here and there.

He just loved the feeling of being surrounded by you - by the things you chose to include in the life you had with him. The couch, where you would cuddle up together, bundled in a blanket, limbs interlinked, watching a show together. The curtains, you would drag across the window to shield Bucky and you from the world outside. The flower pots littering your small balcony where you showed him how to take care of the plants after he drowned the azaleas last spring. Even the shoe rack where your sandals and sneakers were lined up right next to his boots reminding him of the life you shared. That this was real. That he had you and you wanted him as much as he wanted you.

That giddy feeling though left his body in an instant, with no resemblance of it ever being there. His heart sank to his shoes, even further but his brain couldn’t follow. He was feeling hot all of a sudden but nothing like the warmth that took hold of his heart just moments earlier. His mind was going haywire, wild eyes staring at his hand, which unbeknownst to him started shaking already. His key was still in his hand, ready to turn in the deadbolt of the lock, but all it took was a small push to open the door.

He didn’t realize he may be overreacting. Didn’t consider you could have just forgotten to lock the door. No. Unwillingly, his thoughts were clouded with the worst his mind could conjure up. This was New York after all. And he was the goddamn Winter Soldier for crying out loud. He did his best to make amends, trying to demonstrate that he isn’t the person people know him as but there will always be a few seeing him as the man Hydra trained him to be. He still got funny looks while walking the street, someone crossing the street when he approached and he noticed the sympathetic smiles people throw your way because they couldn’t seem to wrap their mind around how someone as sweet, compassionate, and gleeful can be with someone as him. He had trouble understanding that too.

So while it could have been a small mistake on your part Bucky was reeling at the easy access to your apartment. He shouldered his way into your home scanning the room and calling your name, a waver in his voice.

Nothing looked out of place, no evidence of a break-in. The fluffy white blanket was folded over the armrest of the couch. Piles of books were neatly placed in the bookshelf you built up together. Well, Bucky did, while you read chapter after chapter of the current book you were reading aloud. It took him two hours to build that shelf but not because he had difficulties. He just was afraid you‘d stop reading to him when he finished. Everything looked as it was supposed to but the nagging feeling didn’t let up and he chased down the corridor.

“Doll? Come on baby, where are you?”

He stalked into your bedroom, hoping to see you wrapped up in a warm blanket and reading a book or taking a nap waiting for him but he was met with the empty sheets arranged neatly. Through his panicked thoughts, he couldn’t make out the quiet creak of the door to your laundry room further down the hall and rushed footsteps coming his way.

“Y/n!”

He was shouting at this point, sheer panic lacing his voice and turning on his heels to check the other rooms.

“Buck-”

Bodys colliding, a yelp, Buckys arms shot out to steady you. You found your balance again shooting a concerned albeit bewildered look up at him.

“Buck, what’s going on?”

“Oh thank god,” he breathed out while enclosing his arms around you, tugging you against him. Relief flooded his body and he swayed you both a little still feeling wobbly on his legs and squeezing his eyes shut for a moment while taking a big breath, filled with your scents. His hands roamed your body searching for anything that could indicate discomfort or pain.

You let him hold you for a few moments, feeling his chest heave with deep breaths, and only lightened your hold on him when his heartbeat evened out again. Without letting go completely you lifted your head and tilted backwards to study him better.

“What happened Buck?”

Your whispered concern got Bucky out of his mind and he opened his eyes to look down at you, the hold on you never faltering. He looked a little sheepish now, shaking his head in a small movement, and took a shuddering breath.

“The door wasn’t locked,” it came out with a rasp and he cleared his throat, eyes shifting a little before they met yours.

You furrowed your brows and turned your head in the direction of the door. A couple of seconds later it hit you. You got some groceries earlier today and got distracted by the beeping of the washing machine when entering the apartment. You just shut the door, put the groceries down, and moved Bucky's clothes to the dryer. You wanted them to be clean and dry for when he came back. Walking back you went straight for the groceries to store them away without sparing another glance at the door.

“Shit Buck, I forgot,” It was your turn to look sheepish. You grimaced, moving to meet his eyes again.

“Figures,” he chuckled, placing a kiss on your forehead, lingering there longer than needed, and caught your eyes again, sporting a serious expression this time.

“I’m not scolding you for forgetting baby, it happens, but I need you to lock that door,” he voiced in a whisper, blue orbs intently focused on you.

You sigh, breaking his eye contact, and nod heavily.

“I know Buck, I’m sorry,”

He shook his head, his flesh hand reaching up to caress your cheek and tilting your head to meet his eyes again. His lips met your nose, then your forehead, lingering there again, before holding your gaze and speaking softly.

“Don’t apologize doll, I just…,” He closed his eyes, hanging his head, trying to compose himself so as not to fall back into franticness.

“Hey,” Your soft voice and touch calmed him in an instant. Glossed-over blues met yours again and you brushed your lips over his in a sweet kiss. “I get it. I’m sorry I got you worried baby, won’t happen again. I promise!”

He leaned in to kiss you again angling your head to deepen it. It was slow and soft and you rested your forehead against his after pulling away.

“I missed you!”

He pulled you closer even though it was impossible, nuzzling his head against yours. His lips spread into a smile.

“I missed you too baby! So much.”

Your smile matched his. “You kill Sam yet?”

He chuckled lightheartedly, his body relaxing against yours, the tension in his shoulders leaving completely. He knew you tried to distract him and it worked. It’ll always work because you’re the only one able to ease his mind when his paranoia gets the better of him.

“All beauty has a little tragedy”

- Bridgett Devoue

[dailyadventureprompts]

Homebrew Mechanic: Battles of Attrition

I think we can all agree that there’s something a little wonky with how d&d’s combat system changes between the early and mid/late game. Heroes go from being rightfully cautious about danger to being outright banal about it, confident that their accumulated power will be enough to dispatch all but the most outstanding foes.  The traditional solution is to put them up against stronger enemies but in my experience these mismatched encounters are a failing proposition: combat just gets more swingy and there’s only so many high level threats I can throw at them in a short period of time before it begins to strain credulity.   

While a lot of folks (Especially the OSR crowd) have taken the stance that 5e is broken because of how much it empowers players, I think the real fault lays with the lack of systems that exist to provide challenge outside of anything related to the damage based tug-of-war that is combat.  I think a lot of those systems were part of the non existent “exploration” pillar of the game before Hasbro realized they could make easy money selling the game in its unfinished state and gutted it along with the development team. 

Thankfully, I and other homebrewers are around to do what the megacorporations cant, namely have some original thoughts and try and figure out a way to add challenge back to the game without resenting those playing it for having fun. 

TLDR:  Trying to make our games challenging by upping damage numbers in combat is a losing proposition, in no small part because that part of the game is DESIGNED around the heroes winning. Instead, we up the overall difficulty by making them temporarily weaker with systems like sickness, stress, exhaustion, & item degradation. All of which I have details and guidelines on below the cut. 

First and foremost let me state some of my goals for these “attrition systems”, so we can all be on the same page. Whenever I make homebrew rules I try for something that’s going to require little to no paperwork on behalf of the players and can be seamlessly implemented into my DMing style. It’s not about realism, it’s not about punishing players, this is a way for me to add mechanical depth without bogging down the machine entirely. 

Attrition should be largely non-permanent.  The 5e audience invests a lot in their characters both emotionally and mechanically, so it won’t do to pile on debilitating debuff after debuff to the point of making a character useless. 

There should be an inverse relationship between the severity of the affliction and how long it lasts. Think in term of encounters, days, or weeks, (with the understanding that an attrition that goes on for long enough becomes a questhook in itself) 

The exception to this rule is if someone hits 0 hitpoints. I’m outspoken in my stance that characters should only die when it’s alternatively appropriate, but the dm is at liberty to inflict thematically devastating setbacks in the unlikely event that the party DOES suffer losses in the damage tug of war. 

We want to be sparing with how much attrition we throw at the party at once, so as to not create a “death spiral” where failures compound upon one another and make getting through the adventure impossible. 

In most cases suffering Attrition should be something the party is able to avoid by being fast/lucky/cautious/clever or whatever else the encounter requires. It’s there to add weight and consequence to their actions, and as a factor for DMs to build scenarios around. 

Exhaustion:  Unlike a lot of the other changes made in Oned&d, I actually quite like the overhaul of “each point of exhaustion is a cumulative -1 to all d20 rolls and spell dc, beyond 10 is death” as it allows us to play with exhaustion far more readily as an attrition. 

Every night you don’t rest in a haven (a safe comfortable place)  you need to make a con save or take a point of exhaustion, with the ruggedness of the environment determining the DC. Characters with the survival skill or natural explorer feat don’t have to make this roll. Only rest in a haven removes exhaustion at the rate of one point per night (though spaces like a luxury inn or a peaceful glade watched over by friendly fey may restore more)  

Hitting 0 hp and then being healed gives you a point of exhaustion. Nothing’s going to tire you out like getting magically defibulated so now everyone can stop complaining about healing word spam. 

Poison:  For our purposes, the “poisoned” condition as written  is too severe. Disadvantage on all attacks and ability checks is downright punishing for anything other than a single battle. Instead we’re going to make it work like charmed, where there’s a baseline effect for the purposes of resistance, but the status of each poison is dependant on the source.  

Poison falls in the “ short term big effect” side of attrition, specifically undermining a player’s ability to do most things since most effects end on a successful save or at the end of an encounter. Long lasting poisons should have more minor effects than the default poisoned condition, only applying to a few types of rolls or having a bane-like effect that makes judging the odds just a little bit more difficult.  

This makes poison great to use for dungeons and short-ranging exploration where the party is likely to face multiple encounters in one day. 

Diseases:  4e aced the design of these maladies by treating them as a contained skill challenge with their own CR  with various stages: stage 0: you were cured, stage 1: you suffered the initial effect, stage 2 or 3: you suffered a severe effect, with the final stage (3-4) being some effect that made the disease permanent.  When you got a disease it was usually stage 1, and you (usually) saved for it at the start of each day. Beating the DC by 5 or more meant you went down a stage (closer to 0), where as simply succeeding meant it stayed as bad as it was. Failing meant you got sicker, meaning a character could bounce up and down in wellness as an adventure went on. 

Diseases are best for longterm adventures, and often undermine one particular aspect of a character ( healing, actions assosiated with a particular stat).  Counterpoint to poisons, diseases should start out fairly gentle and then get worse the longer they’re left alone, leading to eventually devastating effects.  

Curses:  While borrowing the mechanics of diseases, I’d have curses be specifically weirder in their effects. The sort of thing that can make up the central hook or b-plot of a whole adventure.  This should also mean that curses are the hardest for the party to stumble into, but also the hardest to shake. 

Item Degradation: Detailed in a previous post HERE, the long and short of it is that item degradation is a form of player driven attrition that gently curbs their overall power level. If they go too hard, use their best items recklessly, get involved in needless fights, then they’re going to be in worse shape by the time they reach the final challenge. This was supposed be the idea behind HP/limited class abilities per day, but attrition systems cover that better IMO. 

Stress:  The psychological counterpoint to exhaustion,  I’ve already talked about Stress HERE. I tend to only use stress in horror themed adventures and campaigns, as it builds upon 5e’s optional “madness” system which fits the theme when gothic terrors and eldritch abominations but less so with the game’s usual heroic fare. 

Hunger & Supply:  I made a super lightweight system based off this idea of “depletion die” for potions and other consumables, check it out, it’s lightweight and fantastic.  Using this kind of system gives us another avenue to challenge our party, lengthening or shortening their lifeline as they lose supplies and seek out new caches. 

Thinking environmentally:  Part of the fantasy of being an adventurer is travelling to dangerous places and living to tell the tale.  We’re denying our party that fantasy if we don’t follow through on the threat the idea of these places imply.  You should risk sickness if you go into a swamp, sewer, or jungle, thirst should be a factor in desert exploration, just like freezing is for mountain and winter expeditions.  That’s to say nothing of magical hazards; cursed landscapes that drain your will to live dead marshes style, alchemical smog in a steampunk industrial zone, fading into nothingness as you approach the edge of existence.  

Figure out the natural hazards, make your party aware of the danger, and then build your adventure around the fact that they’ll need to save against the hazard each time they take a long rest.. Do they take a detour if it means having a safe place to camp? Is there a resource they need to manage along the way? Could encounters expose them to further dangers or make their current exposure worse? Keeping these ideas in mind especially when you’re planning a wilderness exploration adventure should give you lots of ideas to fill up those encounter tables. 

Adding insult to injury:  Giving enemies the ability to inflict attrition in various forms makes otherwise trivial  enemies a credible threat even to a seasoned adventuring party. As an example,  A party might breeze through a fight with some monstrous spiders ( or even ONE regular sized spider, if you can imagine) , but that spider encounter doesn’t need to be the most dangerous thing ever if their next encounter is a navigation challenge fording a river and a few of the heroes are still groggy thanks to the slow acting poison in their systems.  

In this way you can use attrition based battles to soften your party up for greater challenges, long after their HP totals and healing ability have outpaced the damage a single trap/encounter can do. 

Artist

[star-neo-love]

Always, Forever

☆ summary: the triplets and you are childhood best friends, and next-door neighbours. on one of your frequent sleepovers, you watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch in a big cuddle pile.

☆ tags: fluff, sweet and soft, childhood best friends reader and triplets, platonic/no pairing, just cute and sweet!! ☆ cw: none!! totally sfw

☆ word count: 1010 words [short and sweet!]

☆ hope you guys enjoy!! ☆

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“Hi! I’m Y/N, wanna be friends?”

That was the first thing you’d ever said to the three nearly identical boys who were bound to become your best friends.

Three identical sets of wide eyes turned to you, before one boy you would learn was Chris grinned and looked over at his brothers, who nodded to each other in silent conversation before tentatively allowing you into their circle.

The four of you had gotten on and clicked instantly, and you had never been seen separate at school since that day. You meshed seamlessly with their dynamic, and you were content with that, though of course, you could never quite beat that patent triplet bond they had.

You’d had a little difficulty with their names at first, but once you got closer, it was impossible to mix them up anymore.

And so the mini nightmare of four tiny terrors was released on the world.

You had a perfect bond, one that only grew when moved in right next door to you. Sleepovers were practically every day since that.

Flash forward to today, you were all in your senior year of highschool, and you were currently over at their house. The sight of you rummaging through the fridge, cooking at the stove, or flopped on the couch, was natural, expected, almost, with how often you were around.

You walk into the living room, carrying various bottles of drinks, setting them down.

“Ugh Chris get off me!” Matt whined, shoving at Chris, who was sprawled over him on the couch.

You laugh, sitting beside the two and opening your arms to Chris, who pouts playfully and snickers as he pinches Matt’s cheek and retreats into the safety of your arms, snuggling with you happily. You reach a hand up to absently run through his hair, and he grins at you, eyes squeezing closed as he leans into your touch.

“Oh poor, Chris, Matt's rejecting your love again huh?” You tease him, prompting a laugh from Matt, who rolls his eyes at Chris’ nod and dramatic pout.

Nick walks in, carrying a large bowl of popcorn, setting it down in the middle of your makeshift circle beside the drinks you had brought over earlier.

“Alright, are we gonna get this movie night started, or is Chris being a big baby again?” Nick snickers as he drops down on the couch beside you and looks over at the way Chris is half draped over you and half on Matt.

“Baby it is then.” he mutters, making Chris reach over and smack him as Matt and you laugh.

The attack devolves into chaos, and instantly the living room is filled with the noise of Chris and Nick screaming at each other and tousling. In his effort to get at Nick, Chris’ limbs fly with reckless abandon, and you and Math both groan at his weight, complaining loudly as bony elbows and knees jab into you.

“Jesus fucking christ Chris, are your elbows made of knives?” You groan, winded as one of the aforementioned elbows digs into your side.

Finally, the chaos ends as Nick shoves Chris off of him, sending the boy tumbling onto the floor with a soft 'oof'.

Matt laughs down at his brother, who glares up at all three of us, but still accepts the hand Matt reaches down, getting up and settling between you and Matt. He instantly shifts to lean against Matt, and then throws a leg over your lap, getting comfortable.

Rolling his eyes, leans forward and fishes the remote out, opening Disney plus and scrolling through.

“So, what do we wanna watch?” Nick asks, sending your small group into noisy chaos once more as all four of you fight vehemently for your favourite movies.

In the end, you win, grinning smugly as Black Panther starts.

“I can’t believe your favourite thing to watch is fucking Marvel, god you’re so basic eugh.” Nick groans and complains as the intro plays.

You roll your eyes, shushing him and grinning as he smacks your arm in retaliation.

You all settle in for the movie, and you lean forward to grab the popcorn bowl when Chris wordlessly stretches his hand out, passing it to him and setting it down in his lap. You grab your drink as well as everyone else’s passing it to Matt and Nick, who nod and murmur a quiet “thanks”.

A cosy, comfortable silence descends over the four of you, warm and companionable. As the movie plays on, Chris grows slightly restless, but settles down easily enough when Matt huffs and threads his fingers through his brother’s soft hair.

All of you have seen this movie time and time again, and it fades into a pleasant drone in the background when the food and drinks run out, and the jokes and restless chatter die down. You could feel yourself growing sleepy as time wore on, and a lazy look around the circle showed the triplets in much the same state, Chris’s eyes already shut as Matt’s steady and soothing motions through his hair seemed to have lulled him to sleep.

You look over at Matt and exchange soft smiles, and when you turn over to Nick, he has a sleepy, but bright grin on his face as he watches.

By the time the movie’s end credits roll, all four of you have fallen asleep in various positions on the couch, sprawled over each other and tangled in a big cuddle pile. You knew you’d wake up sore and stiff tomorrow, but as you fell asleep, it was with a soft smile, and you found yourself oddly content with it, consequences be damned.

“Good night guys...” You murmur, voice barely a whisper as you speak into the silence.

“G’night...” Two quiet, sleepy voices replied.

“Mmm...” A muffled mumble sounded.

It was worth it, for all the moaning, groaning, and bitching that would no doubt star the next day, and the warmth and love surrounding you was something you were endlessly grateful for every day, no matter how often it happened.

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thanks for reading, hope you liked it 🥰!! sorry if this was bad, I was rushing😭😭 ik it's late for their bday, but in my defence, I started this during school today, so... [i'll be dropping a nick x reader fic next, hopefully in the next few days 😁😁]

[cepheustarot]

Message to yourself from the future

Paid Readings

Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur. You build your own life and destiny.

Pick a pile. Choose one or more pictures. Trust your intuition.

Pile 1: Your future is presented in gloomy colors, here the solution of some problem has dragged on for so long that you have neither the strength nor the resources to deal with it, you are very emotionally exhausted here. Perhaps someone is already in such a state that there is literally no strength for anything, you feel tired, it is difficult for you to return to the usual rhythm. However, this period ends here and you find a way out of this situation, so it's not so bad! you find the strength and get out of it, well done! Allso, you from the future wants to warn you not to get involved with one person, he may be a gemini, libra or aquarius, he may also be younger than you. Even if these facts are not about him, rely on characters traits, the person himself is quite windy, does not know what he wants, he is one of those who first does and then thinks. He can also aggravate the situation, start a conflict or a dispute and at the same time get away with it, leaving the guilty one who is in fact not guilty of anything. He also does not keep his promises, shifts responsibility for his actions to another person, so be careful! The advice to you from the future says, you do not need to give up, keep moving, even if it will be small steps, you will still deal with all the difficulties of life, remember that you are stronger than you think!

Pile 2: Here your future is significantly different from what is happening to you now, your life has changed, you have changed it yourself! Perhaps you didn't have the courage or the resources, or you didn't have the opportunity to change something in your life, but you finally take everything into your own hands, and as soon as you did, doors with opportunities opened up in front of you! In other words, here is a new stage of life, something new and it can be anything from a change of activity to a change of residence, a new social circle, appearance, in general, everything that you have long wanted to bring to life. A warning to you from the future says, you should not refuse the opportunity, one person will offer you his help, according to the zodiac sign he is capricorn, virgo, taurus, but it is not necessary that the zodiac sign coincides, look at his character! by himself, a person is active, achieves his goals, knows what he wants, he has plans for life, he has already outlined a path to achieve his dreams there and is now following it, he is also financially stable, he always has money and he spends it wisely, he is also smart enough and erudite. If you refuse, you will greatly regret it and will be sad for a long time about the missed opportunity. Perhaps this person is you yourself and then you should not throw everything halfway, you need to keep moving towards what you want. Advice to you from the future: you should know your limits and understand that you can't jump over your head, don't overdo it and don't overestimate yourself too much. everything will come to you in time!

Pile 3: In general terms, your love sphere is radically changing, and your status is changing, perhaps you will marry someone or vice versa get divorced. There is a chance that you will create a family business and develop it in the future, or you will find a good partner with whom a successful transaction will take place and it will bring you a lot of money.  Warning: if talking about business, then you will face a lot of competition, and in general this may concern not only business, but any area where competition is possible in one way or another. If you get married or get divorced, then many people, your acquaintances, friends, parents or someone from your partner's side will be against this or that decision, they will put pressure on you and try to force you to change your mind, reconsider decisions.  Advice to you from the future: do not listen to anyone and do as you see fit! You need to listen to yourself, your desires, thoughts, priorities, only you know how to build your life

[soraviie]

coming home tired.txt

━ type: bts x gn! reader   ━ navigation

━ about: fluff! (maybe some angst you all know how it is)

━  pictures taken from Pinterest

━ lmao I don't like this. Anyway, Ice Age 1 and 2 absolutely peak entertainment

NAMJOON | The second the slippers are on your feet, you trudge to the bed and toss yourself face first into the mattress. With a bit of luck, you could suffocate yourself like this. A low whistle rises from up behind you and squinting with one eye open, you spot a sympathetic looking Namjoon standing in the doorway.

“That bad, huh?” he drawls and you groan at the mere mention of it.

“Don’t even remind me,” you plop your face back into a pillow where your voice can only barely be heard as a muffled whisper. “I’m seriously thinking of quitting.”

“You say that all the time,” he rolls his eyes to which you take some offence. With narrowed stare, you glare back at him, cringing at how palpable the sweat on your back is. 

“You’re supposed to be my boyfriend-”

“Supposed to be,” Namjoon scoffs just as if not more offended. “I am your boyfriend.”

“And boyfriends are supposed to be comforting when their partners are feeling down,” you scorned. “Not be snide. I swear you treat me as bad as Monie. We should both leave.”

“I treat you both well!” the volume of Namjoon's voice suddenly rises and you cannot help but wince as it hits against the pounding baseline of an oncoming migraine. Immediately, he forces his voice to a much quieter tone, a sound no more than a vague whisper whilst an indisputable shade of concern appearing in his eyes. 

“Is it that bad? Do you need to go on a sick leave?”

“No, no,” you wave him off, crawling off the bed with no meagre amount of difficulty. It wouldn’t exactly be the first time when “after a bit” has grown to be you drooling in deep sleep on the pillow, still fully dressed only to then wake up at 2 am incredibly hungry. “I’m just a bit tired, that's all.”

“You be careful, alright?”

Namjoon’s face still has a sort of worried film to it as though he’s caught between two possible options of how to make everything better and knowing him, he probably was.

“Do you want me to read to you?” 

“You hate it.”

“But I like you so…”

You try not to, however, a small smile still stubbornly worms its place onto your lips and it’s soon echoed on Namjoon's own expression. He outstretches his hand and it isn't long before you grasp it.

“Come on,” he throws his head towards that god awful hellscape of a seat that you detest so much but had no heart to tell as Namjoon had grown fond of it. “Let’s get your mind off things.”

Though there is a wolf-like whistle as you change out of the work clothes for which he gets a shirt thrown into his face, largely the evening is spent in civil spirits.

“How about we eat before?”

Instantly, your blood curdles and from where you’re perched on the end of the grey sofa, you throw Namjoon a deeply, deeply anxious glance. He doesn’t miss it and after once again rolling his eyes because damned if Kim Namjoon wasn’t a passive aggressive bastard, he wraps a precarious hand over your shoulders and grumbles —

“I didn’t cook anything myself. Don’t worry.”

“Thank god,” you sigh and get pinched in the side. 

Some would say it’s simple, almost boring but time with Namjoon, wanted or not, fair or unfair, was limited. Moments like these — with your back pressed against his side as you curl up onto the sofa, a leftover pizza laying in front was a luxury. He was rarely if ever at home and it seems that even he gathers as much as his lips seek out his beloved spot on the side of your temple and press a feathery kiss. Simple — yes but precious all the same and you couldn’t thank him enough for just being here. 

“Now where were we…” you mutter to yourself, haphazardly sorting through the pile of books laid like a fallout rubble on every surface nearby. Taking advantage of the bared skin of your back, the tips of his fingers softly graze along your spine, mutely inviting you to return into his hold.

"Why do you check out so many books if you never read them?" he grumbles.

"Why would I read them if I can have you do that for me?"

"Tyrant."

"I know you are but what am I?"

The sheer volume of his exasperated sigh is almost enough to wipe your tired state clean off.

"Behave," Namjoon warns lowly, letting his head fall back on the headrest. "Otherwise, I'll just put you to bed."

You give him an angelic smile but comply, offering the book of choice only to frown when he is too eager to grasp it. There's even a twinkle to his eye.

“A cliche of story,” you grouse underneath your breath, mocking the same words Namjoon had said after forcefully reading or as he insisted “surviving” the first chapter. “My ass.”

Nonetheless, save for a few laughs, there is not much that you talk about. There’s no need to share a conversation, just the feeling of his warm skin is enough to sate the void his absence left behind.  And with it, the stress slowly abates, unclenching its grip from you, sentence by sentence as Namjoon's voice cruises through the evening.

YOONGI | You don’t quite know how your jaw has not yet unhinged off your face, stretched to its absolute limits by the snake-like yawns but you’re thankful for it anyhow. Another one breaks out the second you’re over the threshold and that is what greets Yoongi instead of a smile or a single, coherent greeting. 

“You’re home early,” you point out, withering out quickly. So much so for reading a book or watching a movie, or tackling any amount of apparently never-ending chores.

“Yeah,” he shrugs off, seemingly unconcerned but those slanted, all too observant eyes track the slope of your tired back — the way you collapse into yourself, unable to fully stand neither still nor straight — and with it his lips purse into a thin, displeased line. 

“I’m fine Yoon, don’t worry about it,” you call out with a shake of the hand. You don’t think he buys it. 

“I’m sure,” he replies simply, tone aggravatingly pleasant, not a hitch, not a crumble for you to catch onto his motives. “Let’s get you into something cozier.”

Peeling off the layers of those impersonal, pretentious clothes makes you cringe. The sweat that had been subtly building under the material is sticky and for a second you almost wish Yoongi would be at the studio like usual. Not much of a looker — sweaty and as appealing as worm splattered underneath the car’s wheel. 

“Cute,” you hear a mutter behind you and turning around, you find Yoongi standing before you, chin in hands, almost appraising you the way an art critic would a rare painting. 

“I’m not cute right now,” you grouse. Yoongi was never one to sugar coat things, so why begin now?

“You’ll always be cute.”

There is an audible offence in his tone and something in it makes you wanna tease him and almost begrudgingly you have to admit that yet again his master plans proved to be fruitful — the accumulated tension was slowly dissolving in the air around you. 

“Even if I’m 90 and all my teeth are gone?”

“Well then I’ll be just as old and we can expire together.”

You shake your head with a barely suppressed smile and suddenly the home feels that much warmer. Not just four walls with a buzzing fridge, droning of the vapid TV and somewhat unsettling emptiness but an actual home. 

“Always the romantic Yoon.”

“I drew you a bath,” he throws his head towards the closed bathroom doors. “Get in.” 

There’s not a space left in that statement for you to argue and thinking about it, you didn’t want to. The water is in perfect temperature, betraying the amount of time you’ve been together and seeing the purple foam sitting atop of the scented waterline as candles laid around hobbled on the nearby surfaces,  tears rush to your eyes. 

Sometimes it was good to cry, be it out of joy, sadness or just as a way to release things and while for some it might seem bizarre to hear your cries in the bath, even somewhat disconcerting but Yoongi knew better and he knew when to simply give you space. 

By the time you get out of the bath, pruned almost to the bone, your head feels hazy — emptier but soft at the edges. The second you see Yoongi setting up the table, you nuzzle into him, practically melting against his frame. For a second he freezes, out of the corner of the eye you glimpse how his features widen in a shock-stricken expression but once the moment inevitably passes, he plays it cool, pretending that there isn’t a pink blush nestling prettily on top of his cheekbones. 

“My, my, you really are tired,” he calls out, gingerly prying your hands away, largely to sit you in the nearby chair. Yet another sign of the sheer exposure you've had with each other over the years — when you clung, you clung, more than once lazing atop of Yoongi as though he was your own personal body pillow. He put up with it like he did with most of you — possessing endless kindness and patience. 

"Some soup, nothing fancy," he explains, sliding a spoon your way. "It'll fill you up but won't give indigestion."

"Thank you. You're the best."

He doesn't respond to the compliment with anything credible, just something whined softly through a pout. The dinner passes by in a blur as you try to listen to Yoongi's day. The guilt gnaws with sharpened teeth - at your own inability to focus on what he's saying -but the haze spindles its spidery web too tight around your body and quickly enough, you sink into the mattresses absolutely boneless. 

"This just needs one thing," you hear Yoongi muttering overhead and after a beat during which you might as well have fallen into some form of micro sleep, he returns back, paddling quietly across the plush carpet carrying none other than an extremely sleepy and confused Min Holly. The poodle sniffs slightly, veering as he suddenly finds himself put on the bed but then simply decides to snuggle up the pillow next to you — an arrangement that often resulted in Yoongi putting up a fuss over being exiled from his own bed. Though tonight there is no tantrum and quietly you dream of soft hands caressing your head before inviting dark embraces you whole.

JIN | "So you don't want to come out?" 

The blanket shakes in a definitive no, pulling from him a deep, deep sigh. "Alright but just text if you need me."

For a second, more so out of instinct than anything, he thinks of leaning down, brushing away this ridiculous blanket you've cocooned yourself in and planting a kiss on your forehead - like he always does- but something in the way you're so obstinately clinging to it stops him and instead he lays his lips atop of it, allowing you to hide away from the world. When the ends of your ears perk at the sound of the closing doors, you slowly push the blanket onto the floor, gulping down large breaths of fresh air. 

Jin was nice, you liked Jin, obviously as you lived together, but sometimes…sometimes a person just needed to be on their own. The way you move throughout the house is largely mindless. Something is playing in the background, what - you don't know. You don't put much focus on what passes between your hands - the vacuum, the window cleaner — it's just a motion. A motion required so that the tension doesn't flay you whole. It's not like you particularly want to do so — the lower back pain surely is a sign you don't want to but it is needed. The nagging thoughts of something being not done in the house will just nag you on and coupled with the stress from work, you didn't put it past your body to become the first person on the planet whose head popped from their shoulders and become airborne. 

It is when you're in the middle of battling one very annoying corner of the front entrance when Jin comes home. All too soon you hear the code pressed on the outside and you greet him as such, standing and staring like a deer in headlights with vacuum in one hand and a wet wipe in another. For a passing moment, Jin simply takes you in, a wrinkle of thorough confusion marking his face. Then as if to come to a foregone conclusion, he sighs, places the many, many takeaway boxes that tower dangerously all together in a green plastic bag on the console nearby and struts forward. You almost go in to defend yourself be it verbally or with a vacuum cleaner but he simply disregards it and places a palm right over your forehead. 

“As I thought,” he mumbles solemnly. “You’re running a fever.”

Immediately you check yourself, in the hurry almost letting the vacuum hit the ground had Jin not caught it at the last second.

“No, I’m not,” you protest but deep down you've grasped that your hand is sweaty and that your head feels…heated, somehow. “I don’t want to take a sick leave!”

Jin was often an easy-going man, never a joke missing when he was around, never a moment weighing too heavily but he was still an adult and sometimes…sometimes he put his foot down. 

“But you are,” he insists with a deadpan tone. Both of your hands are forcibly freed from the items in them as you’re spun around and pushed towards the bed, your socks providing no grip to fight the movement. “Better one sick day today than a whole month later. Remember November?”

“I remember November,” you huff begrudgingly. “But it’s not that bad.”

“_________,” the sound of your name falling from his mouth with not a lick of usual laughter or any form of fond exasperation rings like a cannon shot through your ears, making you shrink smaller. “You’re tired. Just rest. Everything else will fall into place.”

You grow limp under his touch and let yourself be carded back into bed, no huff, no puff. Vaguely it’s reminiscent of Jin’s own temper tantrums as he battled a cold two months ago. You’d chided him then for acting like a spoiled child with a silver spoon both in his mouth and up his ass and you know now that it was merely an act of the infamous pot calling the egregious kettle black. There is a twinkle of vindication in Jin’s eyes even if he does not say it out loud. The session of being made fun of was simply postponed due to the pitifulness of your state alas not entirely avoided.

“Now, let your boyfriend take care of you,” bright is Jin’s smile as he beams down upon you from one ear to the next but the pat on your head dours the cheesy sentiment if he even had any to begin with.

“I’m not a dog,” you gruff, wrenching his hand away but as Jin saunters away, dignified as ever, “could have fooled me” is tossed casually over his shoulder. 

HOSEOK | “You don’t have any plans later in the evening?” 

Because it was 6:30 of a quiet Monday morning and you had assumed that Hoseok hadn’t come home at all, given how you’d gone to sleep alone and woke up as such, the question poised from a poked-in head, partially hidden by a steam of running shower, it came as a no surprise you were scared shitless. Nursing the elbow that was so rudely slammed against the tiled wall, you replied that no, you did not have any plans. 

“Great! Love you!” 

The only thing you heard after were quick, running footsteps and then — silence. 

“Love you too,” you muttered to the empty air. “Whatever that was.”

But Hoseok did sometimes do odd things and so as the work day reared its vicious Hydra head you forgot all about it, too submerged in the rising pile of problems. 

By the time you shuffle out of the work doors, there is a deadpan expression upon your face and even more upon your soul. You’re tired and the outlook of coming  back — yet again! — tomorrow makes it all the more draining. As you drudge your way down the main street there is only one dream floating almost palpable before your eyes and that is your bed. The very thought of immediately propelling yourself underneath the fluffy duvet and dozing off to a good music is a piece of private heaven you’re salivating after and all that was needed was to go home.

If only it would be that easy. 

A sleek, black car rolls in front of you, so crudely that only by the last pinch of your nerves you do not curse the driver out then and there. It’s a blessing you do not as the window rolls down and you find none other than your boyfriend sitting joyfully on the other side. 

“Are you abducting me, good sir?” you call out and Hoseok opens the doors from the inside, invitingly patting the seat next to him.

“Yes, now get in. This is not legal parking.”

At first, you hum happily along to the song playing on the radio. Sure, Hoseok makes a weird turn — it definitely does not belong to the usual route but maybe that was him trying to evade the congested traffic. A second one? Your hum falters but still you persist. You were still going in the correct general direction and if anything you should be grateful about being rescued from the overcrowded hell that is public transport in a rush hour. But once the third turn is taken and you no longer recognize the area, the soft happiness blossoming in your body freezes and for a fact refuses to thaw. 

“Uhh…Hoseok?”

“Hmm?”

“Where are we going?”

“To the mall.”

If feasible, your brain would make a sound similar to a record being pulled under the needle of the player. And then smashed against the fucking wall. 

“The mall?” you echo slowly, however Hoseok remains blissfully oblivious and smiles as your dream of bed and rotting rest shatters into unmendable pieces. 

“Yeah! You’ve been working so hard! You definitely need some new gifts. Name whatever you want, I’ll get!”

Get me home, is what flashes through your mind but even thinking about it feels ungrateful of sorts. Thus,  you bite your teeth into a pained smile.

“Yay,” though you try to sound enthusiastic it comes out more like a squeaking cry of a dying animal. 

Having three bodyguards flickering in and out of your periphery as blinding mall lights blare overhead was not your idea of fun in the best of days but even less so after the dogshit that was work on this particular Monday. 

Suddenly Hoseok shoves a string of pearls underneath your noise, with an overeager “try this!”. You oblige but something in the look does not please him and quickly the pearls are swapped for another, a tad more delicate piece.  

The longer you trail after him, the more your eyes droop downward. It becomes too difficult to even properly focus on walking let alone on what Hoseok is saying. Covertly, you try to slump against him while on the escalator and once more Hoseok misinterprets this as an expression of affection, cooing at it. 

You do not have the heart to tell him you were seconds away from crawling into the bathroom and sleeping there.  

“Which shoes do you like better? These ones or these ones?” 

Strategically, you position yourself on the plush albeit hard chair of the shoe shop.

“They’re both good,” you mutter and the next time you open your eyes, a muted darkness stands before you. For a second, your heart leaps, dry spit curls up at the back of your throat but as the second passes, so does the fear. The dark slowly abates and the familiar feeling and smell of your comforter drags you back into the peace.

You’re home. 

There is a vague clattering coming from the closed bedroom doors and as you drop back onto the pillows with a sigh of deep relief, it stops only for someone to move closer. 

As Hoseok opens the doors, he stands in them for a while wearing a gentle but knowing smile. 

“If you didn’t want to go, you could have just said so.”

You screw your eyes shut, feeling the end of a headache coming back up from behind the eye sockets.

“Did you drag me back?” you groan, sinking deeper into the mattress as though it could possibly save you in any way.

“With some help,” Hoseok nods, throwing a towel to rest over his shoulder. “You were out of it.”

“I’m  sorry,” you glance at him from the covers, turning your voice much more earnest. The feelings of ungratefulness cling to your chest, creating a heavy, pressing sensation. How much time really did you have with Hoseok? Hours,  minutes? Versus the days that he was entrenched deep into work or worse on tour. You ought to spend every moment with him, radiating nothing but happiness but it was just…

You were just too tired. 

“I really am.”

“Don’t stress about it. But really just tell me next time that you don’t want to go and would rather sleep instead. Trust me, I would understand.”

You nod along to his words, giving a mute promise though it's one he accepts. 

“Besides there’s always online shopping,” he supplies lightly before his smile warps to cut a  bit too deep into cheek and too devious in its hue. “And I can always spoil you in other ways.”

JIMIN | The second your aching feet drag over the warm threshold, you don’t even let Jimin finish his greeting, instead propelling yourself tiredly into his chest, self-indulgently wrapping your arms around his waist. 

“What’s this?” he chuckles softly, placing one cheek upon the top of your head — you could feel the weight of his motion. It rests on you like a heavy blanket, relaxing yet not caging. “Since when are you so nice to me?”

“Oh, shut it,” you hiss meagerly, cheek still ruffling against the thin material of his grey t-shirt.  “I’ve always been nice to you.”

“Debatable,” he laughs but it quickly sizzles into a low hum. “Long day?” 

“Felt like it would never end.”

Dinner is eaten quickly, with you mostly scarfing down whatever is put down before you and Jimin occasionally throwing a worried glance though he chooses not to give these concerns a voice. You’re grateful for the silence — too exhausted in your own right to dwell on what should soon turn into a hazy, near non-existent memory. 

The sofa underneath your back is pliant enough and slinking onto the too small decorative pillows, the same ones Jimin had sworn would be perfect as you had stood in IKEA checkout line, you feel your eyes fall downward — not slow and steady, but definitive and pointed like a crash of a rock.

Jimin’s voice floats above the cotton-candy haze that circles the ends of your eyes and maybe vaguely you catch the tail of a sentence. 

“...movie?” is all you hear and deeply not caring, you nod along, still partially clinging to his arm. 

“Something you like…” Jimin mutters under his breath. “The Notebook is always great.”

“I literally have never liked that movie.”

He lets his mouth open in truly horrendous offence, placing a palm over his chest as though you’ve just stabbed him with a kitchen knife. 

“Blasphemy! And in my own home too!”

Imperiously, you make a grab at him, settling yourself to lay partially on his torso. 

“It’s our home, you menace.”

“Ah, and there they are! So I thought you being nice earlier was suspicious.”

But even as he’s saying it, there’s a lingering presence of suppressed smile etched across his lips. 

“Just play something,” you mutter, not even bothering to maintain the appearance of  wakefulness. 

“What about “cold eyes”?” he suggests, switching contemplatively between the select options, each one playing an annoying loud 

“That’s still your favourite movie. I like “The Lighthouse”.”

As expected an immediate wrinkle of distaste curls up his nose as he regards your suggestion. Apparently taking in a noir coloured fever dream seeped in oceanic nightmares had not been his favourite way to spend an evening and though he endured it once, more thanks to his apparently endless love for you than patience, you doubted the chances of him laying his eyes on the production ever again.

“A compromise,” he suggests, by now only barely able to move as you melt into him, your tired bones demanding a rest. How could even one’s inner thigh muscles hurt you did not know but such was the reality. 

“Ice age.”

“Deal.”

It’s not even five minutes into the movie that the warm colours flashing on the screen, not to mention the rub of Jimin’s fingers tenderly grazing against your scrap, lulls you into deep, exhausted sleep. Jimin doesn't wake you.

TAEHYUNG | Though the headphones squeeze on your ears in a manner that manages to somehow be both painful and itching, you pour all of your focus into the pot of soup boiling on the counter. The sensory hell that is extractor hood whirrs overhead and while you hate both the steam making everything just a touch too hot and the noise being a touch too grading, it does the trick. It completely overwhelms your mind and with it the piled up anxiety. The sudden light touch, light yes but unmistakably belonging to a human hand, forces some form of primal scream out from your throat and you’re met face to face with equally wide-eyed, equally frightened Kim Taehyung. Who is in your house. 

You almost ready the ladle as a weapon of sorts but the fleeting voice of reason reminds you, he is in your home because this is the home you share.

Because you’re dating, it goes to supply and you’re thankful that it does otherwise you would have just slammed your boyfriend into the kitchen ground with the aforementioned ladle. 

He attempts to speak or at least so you assume from the way his mouth moves.

“Just give me a sec!” you point at your earphones in the still lingering confusion momentarily forgetting to how to turn off the blasting music that just a second ago was mind numbing in a pleasant way but now has grown to be an auditory guillotine.

At last you manage the Bluetooth connected mess and pushing back the hair from your face, you huff, trying to sound light and miserably failing in one fell swoop.

“Why-why are you home so early?” 

Taehyung quirks his head to the side and those soulful, terribly wary eyes glide over your face in suspicion. 

“Was I not supposed to?” 

You almost don’t stammer when answering “no”. Taehyung hums but it doesn’t feel either like a response or the final sentence in the otherwise lackluster conversation. If anything it’s a wordless noise of suspicion and you begin to sweat under its weight. 

“You look like you haven’t slept a week,” he points out, not overtly trying to be accusing outright but similarly failing as well. At first your mind leaps and bounds to white lies, some smaller some bigger but as his gaze grows more expressive, more analytic you wither and simply confess like a child would after eating too much candy from a jar that was specifically left for guests.

“That’s because I haven’t.”

Taehyung nods, clearly having suspected as much. 

“And I assume the reason why you were unpleasantly surprised by my arrival is that like any other night, you wanted to make something quick, then sit yourself in front of three devices all playing different things and then letting yourself rot in an unmade bed?”

You twiddle with your thumbs. 

“Yes. Are you mad?” 

He looks mad, however because this was Taehyung the next second his face blooms with pity and you find yourself surrounded by two arms and what feels like a cashmere sweater. 

“Oh my baby.”

The beginnings of what feels like straying tears rush forward but still for now you force them down. Disconnecting, for the first time you look Taehyung properly over. What initially seemed like nothing but put-together pillars of stability when compared to your crumbling statue ebbs away and in the muted light of the kitchen you see. The downturned corners of his mouth, the eye bags obstinately clinging to his face, the hair that hangs over said eyes, clearly unkempt, obviously trying to hide something he deemed too personal to share with the rest of the world.

Other than you that is.

Once again it rips out of you without much consent or thorough planning of the brain:

“You’re tired.”

He laughs but the sound, alike the atmosphere, falls strained. 

“Yeah I am. Can’t sleep much without you.”

The soft ends of his voice, clipping into an exhausted drawl, makes your heart bleed both in pink and red. 

“I’ve been worried about you,” he adds with a deep sigh. “And it seems not entirely without reason.” 

“It’ll be alright,” you try to brush off but without knowing whom you tried to convince more — Taehyung or indeed yourself. He doesn’t much say of anything, merely gives one truly solemn nod and clutches your hand in his grip — ladle and all. 

JUNGKOOK | The second you feel the familiar walls of your home swallow you whole, the full effect of a thoroughly draining day kicks you in the chest. You feel its weight knead at your muscles, turning every strain of it into an over-taut strings of deepened ache. You breathe a weary, albeit content sigh as one sweaty article of clothing is shed after the next. It’s a quiet retaliation — to toss them into the hamper for laundry tomorrow. Thank god for your laundry fairy. 

You hear someone at the door and momentarily the ache disappears in the surge of sheer adrenaline but as the familiar sounds of dog’s nails scraping against the floor reach your ears, you relax once more. 

“Babe?” comes an inquiring voice just seconds before Bam rounds the corner, gleefully wagging his tail at your presence. 

“You’re wet,” you complain but since much like Jungkook, it was impossible to be mad at him, all the dog hears is the pleased sound of your voice so without any inhibitions whatsoever, he noses at your shin, leaking rainwater onto the beige bedroom carpet. Jungkook pokes one head in and you’re not surprised to see that he’s much in the same state.

“And you’re wet as well,” you point out, monotonous, as he shrugs in response. 

“Forgot to take my umbrella.”

You don’t chide him, having honestly no strength to do so. Instead, you plop down onto the bed, stifling  another monstrous yawn, not entirely missing the faint wrinkle of concern carving its way in the space between Jungkook’s eyebrows but choosing to not remark upon it. He was already too worried these last few weeks. Still Jungkook remains Jungkook and not a second after, from his spot in the doorway comes gentle but somewhat of a sternly voiced question. 

“Are you okay? You look…I’m sorry tired is not the word. Drained of your very soul.”

You offer him a mirthless laugh, running a palm over your face. 

“Is it that obvious?” you try to joke but the hint of frailty betrays you. Its note might be faint but for Jungkook with his musical pitch, its laid out bare on a desolate cliff. He doesn’t speak but there’s no need to. His face says it all. 

“It’s just I’ve never not…known things,” you admit, a sense of frustration immediately clutching at your chest. “I’ve always been quick to adapt. A month, two months tops and I’d be like a fish in water but…” the end of the sentence trails off into a frustrated sigh.   

“It’s not your fault they’re not training you properly,” he objects but even so remembers to be quiet. There was no use in shouting and that was the rule you both agreed upon. 

“I know it’s not my fault,” you mumble underneath your nose but even you yourself can hear the disheartened nature of that statement. For long dragging stretches of time, you simply stare at Bam, reaching out to pat him ever so slightly. 

“I’m just…tired, Koo,” at last you state, the final walls breaking down in one, finite statement. 

“I get it,” he echoes somberly, the shared faraway glint in both of your eyes reminding you both of the many, many tired late evening, early mornings and the middle of the nights. Jungkook rouses himself out the soured memory lane first. He shakes his head and paddles over, sitting on the bed beside you, the mattress dipping under his weight. 

“You want a shoulder massage?” he offers and as his touch settles upon your skin, you wince, prompting a hissing curse from his lips. 

“It’s like a rock, baby,” Jungkook whines in your ear. You try to shrug the sentence away however the flare of unexpected pain puts a firm stop to it. 

“And I don’t think you’ll make it better,” you sigh, trying, in a last ditch attempt, to sound a tad playful. You think it somewhat works as Jungkook pressed a preemptively apologetic kiss to the back of your head. 

tagging: @pinkcherrybombs; @sukunabitch; @btsiguess-kpop; @belladaises; @halesandy; @seok-jinnies; @themochiverse; @cuteipat; @ratherbefangirling; @manchuria; @dreamamubarak; @anti-social-mochi267; @back2bluesidex; @silverliningsandstorms; @ahewlett

[television-overload]

of our own making

(an X-Files fanfic)

Oh hey, look, it's that massive story I've been working on since January! I'm so thankful to everyone who has shown interest in the concept of this fic and the little snippets I've posted. You've been more help than you know. Without that support, I don't think this would have ever gotten finished.

A special thanks to @numinousmysteries who kindly beta read for me and did a fantastic job. I wanted to make sure I got this right, and she was a great help!

And now I can't wait to share this with you all! New chapters posted daily!

[Read on AO3]

Chapter 1/34 - ink and paper

How long has he been thinking about this, she wonders. What exactly is he thinking? Her mind races, trying to reconcile this Mulder whose deepest desires are spilled out here in ink on worn and crinkled brochures with the one she’s spent nearly every day with these past several months.

She'd never have guessed...

Find out if adoption is right for you! Visit us at 8080 Meadowlark Ln. Annapolis, MD “A Home for Every Child!”

Scully stares down at the brochure on the desk. One of many, which are half buried underneath a pile of paperwork from their current case. Certain words and phrases are circled in pen, underlined, annotated in the margins in the familiar scrawl she knows almost better than her own.

stability – less travel? change in division? discuss with Scully

loving home – ask Frohike for real estate agent #

The word “family” is circled three times.

She swallows with some difficulty, finding—to her dismay—that her hands are shaking. Mulder will be arriving any second, and here she is, frozen like a statue.

How long has he been thinking about this, she wonders. What exactly is he thinking? Her mind races, trying to reconcile this Mulder whose deepest desires are spilled out here in ink on worn and crinkled brochures with the one she’s spent nearly every day with these past several months.

She’d never have guessed…

“Morning, partner,” his voice calls out, and she jolts in surprise. She hears the door snick shut behind him, but she can’t bring herself to turn around. With deft fingers, she pushes the brochure back under the stack of papers where she found it, only the colorful corner of the page visible.

“Morning, Mulder,” she tries, clearing her throat. It comes out strained, but she hopes he doesn’t notice. She hides her trembling hands in her lap under the desk.

He looks down at her, half amused, half concerned. “You okay? You're not getting that stomach bug that's been going around, are you?”

“I'm fine,” she answers defensively, warning him to back off. She grabs a file off the desk in front of her with a little more force than necessary, plopping it open.

‘Okayyy,’ he mouths exaggeratedly, eyebrows raised. He sits down at his desk and leafs through some papers sitting on top, arranging them into neater stacks. When he uncovers the brochures, his eyes widen and he clears his throat, hurriedly covering them with other papers and trying to act natural.

Scully thinks about letting it go and pretending she doesn’t know what he’s hiding, but she knows she won’t be able to sleep until she finds out what’s been going on in that ridiculous head of his. 

She idly flips to the next page of the file in her hand, displaying a confidence she doesn’t feel in the firm set of her shoulders

“Doing some light reading, Mulder?” she asks, attempting to look disinterested.

His head shoots up, a look of alarm on his face. For a second he thinks she might be talking about something else, that she couldn’t possibly know, but one look at her throws that theory right out the window. He glances back and forth between her and the papers on the desk a few times before dropping his shoulders in defeat.

“I’m sorry, Scully, you weren’t supposed to see those,” he says, shuffling all the brochures into a pile while carefully avoiding eye contact. “I was working here late last night. I must have forgotten to put them away.” As he speaks, he opens the top drawer of his desk and shoves them inside, then takes a seat at his desk. His nose is buried in a file before she can even respond.

She watches him now. He is a curiosity, determinedly feigning concentration on a case she knows he finds disinteresting and a waste of time.

Typical.

“You're really not going to say anything?” she asks, arms crossed in front of her.

That rankles him. “What do you want me to say?” he asks, indignation boiling below the surface.

She looks at him incredulously, the file in front of her all but forgotten.

“You're thinking of adoption? When were you planning to share this with me?”

He sighs and shakes his head, pleading silently with her. “It's too soon, Scully. I didn't think you'd want to hear it yet.”

“But you're looking into it because…”

“It's just been on my mind, that's all.”

She stares at him, brows furrowed.

“Since when?”

Since when… Images flash of a life he didn’t recognize. His sister, alive and grown up. A quiet suburban neighborhood. Cancer Man living just down the street. A wife and kids, but not the right ones. It was wrong, all of it was wrong.

“A hallucinatory trip into an alternate universe tends to make you think,” he answers simply.

He’s looking at her now, deadly serious despite the joking tone. She doesn’t respond. Can’t respond.

“I'm sorry, I didn't want to bring all this up,” he continues. “I know it's a sore spot for you.”

It takes her a moment to conjure words from her mouth, her lips moving but no sound coming out. “I just wasn't expecting…”

“For all I know, this isn't even something you'd want.”

What does she say to that? Is she interested? 

“I– I'm not sure. I've never really considered it before.”

He waits, his eyes assessing her for some hidden meaning, some insight into her state of mind. He gets nothing. She’s totally blank.

“Well… what do you want?” He thought the question was innocuous enough, safer territory than straight up asking her if she wants to adopt, but apparently not.

She shuts her folder, abruptly standing and slinging her purse over her shoulder. “I'm going back to the crime scene,” she declares, changing the subject. “I want to see if there's anything we missed.”

“Scully…” he tries.

“Not now, Mulder.” Without even taking the time to put her coat on, she flees, leaving the door partially open in her rush to get away. Cursing under his breath, Mulder grabs his coat from its hook and hurries after her.

The elevator doors are almost all the way closed by the time he catches up, but in this case, he figures it’s worth the potential loss of a limb. He throws his hand between the closing gap in the metal doors, and it bounces back open to allow him entrance, to the extreme displeasure of one Dana Scully. He wisely stays silent in the elevator, stealing glances at her every few seconds out of the corner of his eye as they ascend. He can feel the frigid air coming off her in waves. It’s been a while since he’s seen her this annoyed with him, this eager to get away.

He won’t let her. Not this time. He’s learned from his mistakes.

In the parking garage, she's walking briskly, heels clicking on the concrete, and he has to pick up the pace to keep up with surprisingly agile little legs.

He didn’t want this confrontation. There was a reason he was keeping his research a secret. This is exactly what he was hoping to avoid, at least until the time was right to carefully drop some hints here and there. But now? There’s no carefully about it. No option to wait and let this blow over. There’s only one way out of this at this point, and unfortunately, that way is through.

He picks up the pace.

“You're the one who brought this up, Scully, I was perfectly happy throwing those brochures in my drawer and not saying a word.” 

His voice echoes in the concrete parking structure, sounding harsh even to his own ears. As frustrated as he is with her, that isn’t his intent. He only wants to know what he can do to help her, how he can help her fulfill her dreams. He lets out a breath, and with it, releases his selfish frustration. She’s still walking away at a breakneck pace, and he doesn’t know how he can get her to stop and face this. 

“If you want to talk about it, let's talk about it,” he says, pleading. “I can't help you if I don't know what you want. You want me to shut up, never mention the subject again?” he shouts, throwing his hands in the air, “Fine, just tell me. What do you want, Scully?”

“I just want to be a mom, okay?” she yells, whirling around to face him. Her words instantly silence him, and he watches stone-faced as tears spring in her eyes. “I see all these other moms out there and think… I could do that too. Why can’t I do that too?”

Well, mission accomplished. The truth is finally out there. Part of him feels bad for pushing her, but the other part knows that it was doing her no good to keep her feelings bottled up inside to deal with by herself. He reaches out a hand, intending to comfort her, his eyes softening in sympathy. 

“You could. Scully, you’d be the best mom.”

She flinches away, stepping out of his reach. “You don’t know that, Mulder. I can’t even—even my body is even telling me no. Over and over.” She resumes her brisk walk to her car, and he thinks he sees her brush angrily at her face, no doubt wiping away the evidence of the stubborn tears that have managed to escape.

He rushes to get in front of her, walking backwards so he can keep her in his sight. 

“When has that ever stopped you?” he asks. “You had cancer, and you kept fighting. You’re alive today because you refused to give up when your body quit on you. What about that?” He stops abruptly, forcing her to come to a halt before she crashes into him.

There’s no way out of this, is there? Her shoulders slump in defeat.

“You saved me, Mulder,” she admits quietly, shaking her head. “You’re the one who didn’t give up. Not me. It was only because you were with me that I survived.”

This time, when she goes to walk away, he stops her, placing a hand on her shoulder. The simple touch causes her to freeze, hardly breathing, and when he steps closer, she stays. His hands slide down her shoulders, holding her securely in place to ensure that his next words come through loud and clear.

“I’m gonna be with you here on this too, I promise.” His thumbs brush back and forth on the fabric of her sleeves, for his comfort or hers, she’s not sure. “You can still be a mother, Scully. I’ll help you.”

She shakes her head, her heart feeling like it has been ripped to shreds. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can.” He gives her a little shake for emphasis. She still won’t look at him. “You’ve kept me alive all these years, how much harder could a baby be?”

That gets a breathy chuckle from her, and her head falls to her chest. Groaning with the agony of this burden on her heart, she stops fighting it and leans into him. Without hesitation, he wraps an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his embrace.

Her hand comes up to find purchase on his suit jacket, relishing in the comfort only he can provide. She’s past caring if anyone sees them like this here. Let them talk. They already do, anyway.

“Well, at least when you wake me up in the middle of the night, you’re not crying,” she speaks into his chest.

She feels him shrug, and can almost see the goofy smile she knows she put on his lips.

“Usually.”

She looks up at him with her chin on his sternum before taking a deep breath and pulling away.

“It's raining,” he says softly, glancing down at her and brushing a strand of hair out of her face. “We can go back to the crime scene later.” She nods, unsure what else to say. She allows herself to be led, his ever-present hand brushing against her back as they start toward the basement.

“Adoption,” Scully mutters to herself, shaking her head in disbelief. “I don’t know, Mulder. This—this is different than IVF. With that, all I was asking for was your…” her eyes dart around, looking anywhere but at him, “genetic material. This is something entirely different.”

He’s pleased she’s at least considering it, but she doesn’t get it at all, if that’s what she thinks.

“How? ‘Cause from where I’m standing, the process of getting a baby is a little different, but in the long run, the result is the same.”

She pauses, looking at him in confusion. “What– what are you saying?”

He runs a hand awkwardly through his hair, suddenly taking a unique interest in his shoes and the floor of the parking structure.

“Yeah, we probably should have talked about this before…”

“Talked about what?”

He sighs and guides her into a stairwell. It’s stuffy and poorly-lit with a flickering lightbulb, but here, there’s less of a chance they’ll be overheard.

“Look, Scully, I don’t know what you had in mind for my involvement beyond contributing to half the baby’s DNA when you first asked me to help you get pregnant,” he starts, fighting hard to meet her eyes instead of shying away. “But, I– I had hoped it would be a little more than ‘Say hi to Uncle Mulder,’ every couple of months.”

She blinks back at him, speechless.

“I’m sorry if that’s overstepping, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable with all this, I just—” He takes in a breath. “I guess I got to thinking of what it might be like to have a family again.” His bout of honesty is met with a blank stare, and his nervous smile drops. “I completely misread the situation, didn’t I?” he asks, self-loathing waiting on standby. “Got ahead of myself…”

She stops him by catching his coat sleeve. “No—uh. No, you didn’t.” She collects herself, willing herself to offer him some reassurance. Her fingers release the fabric of his coat, shifting her grasp instead to his hand. “I didn’t realize you felt that way.”

He glances down at where she holds tightly to him, and his lips curl into some semblance of a smile.

“I guess they might have had a point with all those communication seminars we’ve skipped, huh?”

She chuckles softly.

“I don’t think this is exactly what they had in mind…”

With a gentle tug, Mulder leads her down the stairs, committed to holding her hand as long as she’ll let him. The air is stagnant and silent, only the rhythmic echo of their shoes clicking on the concrete steps as they make their way to the bottom floor.

She’s thinking. What she knows now, it changes everything. 

She had asked him to leave. Hid her grief from him as much as possible after her initial lapse into weakness when she came home with the news. She had almost kissed him, then, unsure of what else she had to live for. She knew she was hurting him by folding inward on herself in the weeks that followed, but that didn’t stop her from doing it. She was in a dark place, hardly able to see what was right in front of her. What she couldn’t see was that his hurt wasn’t just for her, born of some misguided sense of guilt or pity. It was his own, too.

“Mulder, all those months, after it failed—” There’s something like fear in her voice as she utters these words, or maybe regret.

“I was just worried about you.”

She squeezes his hand, feeling tears well in her eyes once more. “No, you were grieving like I was, and I didn’t notice. I pushed you away…”

“Dana…” He turns, a couple steps ahead of her, so for once it’s him who has to look up to meet her eyes. Her lip wobbles as she looks down at him, and he brushes his thumb tenderly over her knuckles. “You had to deal with it on your own, I understood that. I don’t blame you for anything.”

Those eyes. So open and honest and sad. She wonders how anyone could hurt him, could bear to break this man’s heart. How could she? 

Choking back a sob, she falls into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding tight. His arms encircle her back, supporting her weight, and she feels herself being lifted as he goes up a step, closing the distance between them.

His hand climbs up to the back of her head, stroking her hair soothingly.

“I just wanted to be there for you,” he mumbles into her neck.

“You were, Mulder,” she gasps between bouts of tears, finding comfort in the feel of his soft hair between her fingers. “You’ve always been there.”

He pulls back, lifting his hands to cup her face and wiping away the tears he finds there with the pads of his thumbs. 

“You don’t have to give an answer now,” he says, reassuring, “This is… a big commitment, I know, and I don’t want you to say yes just because I suggested it. I just wanted you to know it’s an option, and if you want to have a baby, I’m in. However you want to go about it, I’ll be as involved as you want. Just– let me know, anytime. Okay?”

He’s looking at her now, head ducked so those sad, puppy-dog eyes can get his message across.

She nods, holding tight to the wrists that so tenderly cup her face.

“Okay.”

~~~

Lovely tag list ♡: [if you would like to be added or removed, let me know!]

@today-in-fic @ao3feed-msr @agent-troi @angegova @baronessblixen @bby-got-books @calimanc @captainsolocide @cutemothman @danasculls @deathsbestgirl @edierone @enigmaticxbee @figureofdismay @frogsmulder @hippocampouts @invidiosa @monaiargancoconutsoy @mulderscully @oofubad @p34chi @primrose19 @randomfoggytiger @skelavender @skylarksong @slippinmickeys @stephy-gold @teenie-xf @the-redhead-in-a-dress @vincentsleftear @whovianderson

[siddyyyyyyyy]

No, I didn't.

Pairing: Father figure!Price (x reader) (PLATONIC)

wc: 1.8 kwarnings: daddy issueswhat, military stuff but i dont have much knowledge, no y/n used, no angst, don't worry

Summary: Captain is similiar to being your father figure and you accidentally call him "dad"!!!!!!!!!!!

a/n: (this thing has been rotting in my notes app for a while) there's no romantic plot in this one, just some thoughts I've had about Price and him being the 'dad' figure or something, enjoy

Working with the TaskForce141 is definitely a lot of work and needs a lot of training, being able to cope and deal with high stress situations. It's all not a big deal for you, since you've been training for this a long time anyway and have probably seen it all by now. From a pile of dead bodies to difficult decision making in order to save people. All this doesn't exactly affect you, at least not as hard as the very first time you experienced these things. After years and years of experience it started to just be another day at work, which doesn't mean it got boring. It's definitely not boring, and if you were honest with yourself for once, it feels like the team you're in makes it easier to get along with missions and makes them less stressful.

Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick is about the same age as you, if not only a few months older. He's mostly calm and respectful but won't let anyone disrespect anyone else or himself, always making sure to get his opinion straight and be open-minded for anything. It's great to talk to him, him having a smooth voice and being one of the pretty faces you've seen around. Your other teammate, Johnny 'Soap' McTavish is a pretty interesting person himself. A loyal soldier and a strong one at that aswell, his arms looking like he could rip a tree in half if he wanted to. His scottish accent always comes out thicker whenever he's angry or got a beer too much. But besides that, he is also a pretty good person to talk to, especially when needing some advice for relationships and other topics.

Simon 'Ghost' Riley must be one of the most mysterious people you've seen around. You know pretty much nothing about him, besides him liking his earl grey tea and silly little army jokes. He holds a lot to himself and keeps quiet almost always and looks like he could tear you apart if you breath the wrong way. But he actually wouldn't, being his teammate is safer than to be his enemy. Besides his cold nature and brutal way of handling things, he actually tries to care for his team in his own way too. Checking up on you from time to time on a difficult mission, mostly just to make sure you don't fuck it up. You're not the type to have a favorite in a group, but if you needed to decide, it would probably be John Price. Your very own Captian. He's cold, if not the coldest person you know, always being fast in decision making and not letting anyone get in his way, no matter what. Price always makes sure to be there for his team too, cracking a few small 'dad jokes' then and there if the time is right.

Now, you're all waiting in the middle of a desert for a vehicle to pick you up after another successful mission. It was a mission that went on for several days but it was great, with minor difficulties. As your sitting on the sand, while making sure the sun doesn't give you a stroke, the others are talking about the mission. Well, just the few funny or minor mistakes they did while on mission. Soap is telling about how he accidentally let his magazine fall to the ground while reloading and almost slipped on a rock while doing so. But he got up and continued with the mission as usual, so it wasn't serious and just something to laugh about. After a few chuckles and jokes, Price spoke up and mentioned you, doing something similar.

»I saw you once throw a magazine out instead of a granade. Just giving out free ammunition like that.«

He teased you a little about it while mostly just Johnny and Kyle laughed about it with Price, lightheartedly teasing you about it some more. After another one of the Captains typical dad jokes, you finally speak up as you got enough of them.

»Okay, stop it dad.« You scoff lightly with a slight headshake, realizing only a few seconds later what you actually said. You're met with silence for a moment before Johnny cracks up and chuckles, not able to hold it back in.

»Did I hear you right, there? Did you just call him-«

»Enough. I didn't say anything.« You interrupt and stand up from your sitting spot on the sand, dusting your pants off. The truck arrives just in time, sparring you from any more embarrassing stuff happening to you for now. Price is genuinely suprised about you calling him that, not having thought anyone from his team could see him as something like a father figure. He doesn't mind that much anyway but also thinks he isn't that old. Eventually, he doesn't bring it up, not wanting to make you uncomfortable and he doesn't really think too much of it at the end of the day.

⋇⋆✦⋆⋇

　Something similar happens another time, two or three months after the first 'incident', how you call it. The moment since you accidentally called your Captain dad, you promised to focus way more on what you say as if you didn't already do that all the time.

Once in the mess hall to eat dinner, you couldn't help but feel more tired than usual. Probably because you didn't catch much sleep last night or maybe because you had a lot of paperwork that day, either way you felt rather tired but nothing too bad for you to handle. You're sitting at the right corner of the table while eating with the rest at one of the tables, eating peacefully while listening to the conversations around you. Sometimes listening to the small drama from a table across or just trying to see who else is eating dinner in the mess hall aswell. The food is nothing special, just the usual mashed potatoes, some sauce and meat to it. Salad is also there for everyone. Even though the food isn't bad, you can't help but want more salt in it, feeling like it hasn't got enough of it. Glancing up from your food, you see that Price is sitting closest to the salt shaker. Without much thinking you speak up, looking at him while asking.

»Dad, could you pass me the salt?« You ask casually and wait for him to hand you the salt shaker, not having realized yet what you really said for now. He shrugs and hands it over to you over the table, keeping a straight face as if nothing's wrong.

»Sure, kiddo.« It's a bit strange for him to call you 'kiddo' right now, but you don't question it and pour some salt into your food. Price continues to eat his own food, but you can't help but notice how silent it became around the table for some reason. Before you could look up again, Johnny chimes in.

»Didn't know you were his kid.« He nudges your shoulder softly and waits for your reaction, carefully watching how you react. You're a bit confused and look to him next to you, the gears in your head finally turning. Kyle can't help but smirk slightly at this whole thing as he tries to continue eating, turning his head away a bit.

»No- it's.... I didn't- what?« You stumble over your words while trying to explain this, eventually getting frustrated with yourself. Your back leans back against your chair while sighing out, being ready to gaslight them about this slip up. »It's alright. Happens.« Price reassures you even though he has a very faint smirk on his own lips about the situation, just not addressing it as much as Johnny.

»It's not the first time this happened, right?« Kyle's the one to tease you this time, looking over to you at the table all the while you're hiding your face a bit again.

»No, nothing never happened.« You shake your head and just continue eating your food more quickly, so you can escape this situation as fast as possible.

The conversations around the table return to its usual after a moment, no one addressing it anymore afterwards. Ghost was always just observing your reactions and the situation itself in both times it happened, having noticed a few things.

For example that it happened when you looked tired or when you were seemingly relaxed, speaking from your body language. Or how your ears become increasingly more red the moment you realise what happened, making it more amusing for him to watch your reaction. But of course he wouldn't mention any of those things, especially not to the whole group since it could come off a bit weird. He keeps it to himself but still can't help but tease you subtly about it during a round of joking in the team, mostly just addressing how easily something can embarrass you.

But to say he's the only who noticed that, is wrong. Price was probably the first person to notice those things about you, finding it also amusing in a way. He doesn't exactly mind you calling him 'dad' sometimes by accident but when it happens, he mostly thinks about why you do it. Probably having no proper father figure in your life or maybe he just reminds you of your own father. Maybe it's just the personality he gives off, making it seem like he's the fatherly one in the team. Either way, he finds it mostly wholesome, knowing he makes his team feel comfortable around him. But he keeps quiet about it, not wanting to embarass you even though he finds it oddly amusing to see how you act once something embarrassing or humbling happens to you.

But you on the other hand, you don't find it amusing at all. You're ready to launch at them the moment something remotely humbling happens in front of them, ready to gaslight them if it means they'll forget about one small thing. But you don't do it, considering they're your team mates and you're all almost equally strong. But even though they don't make seriously fun of you and tell you it's all jokes at the end of the day, you still can't help but feel even a little embarrassed about it. It's like having a small crisis to yourself, not sure what others think about you now or how you should act from now on around them. But that's just you being dramatic. Mostly.

[haza8877]

What are your strengths?

Hello everyone, I've been quite busy these past few days to update my new reading. I'm back today and I'm going to give you a short reading, hopefully you'll enjoy it. 

Pile 1 -> Pile 2 -> Pile 3

Pile 1

(the hermit)

The strength of Pile 1 is independence and maturity. I have a feeling you'd rather work alone than collaborate with others. You have depth and love to immerse yourself in your inner world. This helps you have a high self-awareness. You don't like crowded places, you don't like parties, you're autonomous and you like to spend time alone studying things. That's why you're somewhat more mature than your peers. I feel like you are always trusted by people around you and asked for advice. 

What do you need to do to develop your strengths? 

(8 of swords)

The advice for you to develop your strengths is to expand your safety zone. Because you're independent people who like to work alone, you live in your own world and think that your judgment-based judgments are right. I feel like sometimes you're "stuck" with your thoughts or fears that haunt you. The advice is to look at the world outside, not just live inside, balance between inside and outside. You're like a hibernating bear, now is the time to "wake up" to welcome spring and see the world. 

Pile 2

(2 of pentacles)

Your strength is the flexible change in every situation in life. You always know what's important to choose at different times. It makes it easier for you to adapt to changes. You are an easy person to integrate in new environments. When you encounter ups and downs in life, you know when to move on and when to stop. I have a feeling you might enjoy overcoming challenges? It's like you just take a potato out of the oven and it's hot, and you take it with your bare hands and juggle it back and forth, not put it down, and as the potato cools down, you enjoy it.  

 What do you need to do to develop your strengths? 

(page of swords)

The advice for pile 2 is to learn from the difficult situations and problems that you encounter in life. Because you already have flexibility and adaptability, you also need to develop more ability to learn from difficult circumstances. Sometimes you're "throwed" at problems and challenges, but don't worry, that's the training the universe wants you to overcome. Always ask questions." What am I going to learn from this situation?" "Why is it happening?" "How am I going to deal with it?". Also, use your mind to assess and analyze those problems. 

Pile 3

(5 of wands)

I see that you in Pile 3 are very competitive people, which is also your strength. Competitiveness can help you constantly try and grow in life and especially work.  However, you know, too competitive sometimes makes people around you feel you are too eager to win and selfish. So. Use this strength wisely and appropriately. In addition, I also feel that you will learn and grow well in a competitive environment. You know what you'll learn from it. 

What do you need to do to develop your strengths? 

(wheel of fortune)

Hmmm, the advice for pile 3 to develop strength is to always broaden your horizons. Whether you're a competitive person or are often faced with competing or conflicting situations, that advice is to broaden your horizons in such situations. Look at the problem as a whole to understand why it happens, simply because it needs to happen. Also, understand that difficulties or unexpected things happen for a reason. Maybe it's destined to perfect your path ahead. Maybe at a difficult time, you won't be able to see the overall picture the universe is creating for you, but always believe in the future and the universe. 

Thank you for your interest in my readings. Your support has motivated me to release more posts. If you have any interesting topics, please recommend for me. Thank you again and love you allllll 🌸🌸❤️❤️❤️💐💐