#Though the family is obviously toxic and dysfunctional

[multifandom-nerds-blog]

Not Klaus getting buried alive wtf.

No. Actually. I'm surprised this wasn't done sooner. What better way to torment an immortal character with trauma induced claustrophobia who can see ghosts than to burrie him alive on a cemetery.

[stanfordsweater]

hello i'm new to the supernatural fandom and you have been in my recommendeds for a while, reasons to ship wincest???

i thought for a long time about how to respond to this so imma link catherine tosenberger's excellent analysis of the first few seasons where "the most resistive aspect of Wincest fan fiction is that it gives the main characters a lasting happiness that the series eternally defers."

to begin with, there are a lot of people who will argue for the toxic codependency and i love them and also love it but the reason i've been here for well over a decade is because of the way that wincest offers you two paths: you can follow the path of those who write endless meta about how one or the other brother is abusive and how toxic it is and eventually brainwash yourself into being unable to ship it, or you can follow the path of love and light and perspective and recognize 1. these are fictional characters and b. there are no two characters in genre tv who are as devoted to each other as sam and dean. there is no plotline that follows through fifteen seasons of being obsessed with each other.

by choosing the incest pill, you grant yourself access to fifteen seasons of generally good tv ABOUT YOUR SHIP EXCLUSIVELY. sam and dean are the main characters and you will always know, opening up an episode, that they will be there, doing their weird-ass jealous obsessiveness, and you will never despair about not having them present, together, even if they're fighting or struggling or depressed. that is a very special thing!

now, beyond that, assuming you've watched the show, there's many reasons to cross the incest line. FIRSTLY, everyone involved was well aware of what they were doing. we have a few choice quotes i've collected below about their relationship that ramps up the intensity:

--

"Ultimately, they are pathologically dishonest with each other because John Winchester was pathologically elusive to them," consulting producer Ben Edlund says. "They learned that the truth is this dangerous thing, and that you shouldn't speak it. He even taught them to keep secrets from each other for strategic purposes." With all of the supernatural, apocalyptic, tragic drama woven into the show, Sam and Dean's relationship is rooted in human emotion. "When you look at the dysfunction that they show to each other, it comes directly from how they were brought up, and that's a kind of dysfunction that people in this world continue to face. 'Why didn't my dad tell me that he loved me yesterday?' We're just people sharing the same kind of thing," Edlund says.

--

"Why do you think Dean has had such a hard time forgiving Cas when he did forgive Sam for a similar betrayal?"

I think the easy answer is blood, I think the easy answer is family, even though if there was a family in this show it would include Bobby, it would include Cas, it would include these-- these-- kind of, broken war-torn heroes we've come to know, and you know, Bobby has that famous line, "family don't end with blood," but it is his brother, at the end of the day, that's the closest he has to a companion, and has had for a companion for many years, so I think with Cas there was always, "he's unnatural, he's an angel," and I think that for Dean, relating to someone like that, it's tricky, relating to monsters, relating to anything supernatural, his brother is flesh and blood, it's tangible, he can touch that.

--

Obviously the relationship between Sam and Dean is central to our show but we’ve been building this rift between Sam and Dean all season, so that led to the idea of having this young male character that sort of idolizes Dean and does all the cool stuff that Sam won’t do, and that’s Dean’s perfect mate.

(the thing sam won't do is literally swapping spit with him. tell me i'm lying)

--

in the hunt, page 37

--

Not all fans are content simply to attend conventions. Some of them want to take a hand in the story, and their fan fiction can explore areas mostly untouched on the show, like the latent homoerotic suggestiveness of the Winchesters’ intense relationship.

-THE NEW YORK TIMES

--

"eyefuck" became a well-known script shorthand because of how intense j2 looked at each other as sam and dean

--

it's a terrible life draft script:

Note B) They are supposed to be together

Note C) each been all alone in separate life finally found kindred spirit

--

in the hunt, page 158

--

i haven't included any eric kripke quotes because he has so much wrong with him that i don't want to enable it. this is a compliment. it is one of the highest i can give.

SO-- what these quotes tell us:

sam and dean are relatable because their relationship is intensely human

sam and dean have shared secrets they cannot voice to one another but that nonetheless make them inseparable

people have been writing motherfucking essays about sam and dean's homoeroticism since the show aired

within the mythology of the show, sam and dean are meant to be together above all other relationships

...oh, you need more? i didn't think i'd get this far. um... okay... look at them???

if you choose to walk this path you will find yourself crying and taking screenshots every time they look at each other or touch each other or hold each other and you will thank the lord in heaven that we were granted this intensely wild and beautiful homoerotic relationship back in 2005 and praise jesus that you can always return to their raw sexual chemistry-- "In fact, much like the early X-Files, the show is fueled past its failings almost entirely by the chemistry between the two principals, the boys who, like Mulder and Scully, generate enough sexual tension to power a small city" as quoted by whitney cox in 2006 in an article that otherwise fails to bring anything to the table, sorry if you love it for your meta but also literally just go read the catherine tosenberger essay

you still need more????? jesus, what have you shipped prior to this? well, go watch the pilot and enjoy the fact that the first scene these two have together they are wrestling on the floor (sexually) and getting all romantically silhouetted against this beautiful lighting

and then go watch a few fanvids like this or this and then watch the pilot and watch this and then read this post about how supernatural happily wields incest as a tool of horror and as comedy and then scroll through my entire family horror show tag to understand more and then watch this immaculate video that deals with the whole thing and think about how all these things were happening in 2005 and remember the fact that sam and dean are the main characters of the universe... and then maybe just watch the show and please do not become an annoying shit poster who just talks about how they hate it🙏

[pumpkinpie59]

“the 2012 family isn’t abusive” and “the 2012 family all have toxic traits that can affect each other badly” are both takes that can coexist

i think out of all the tmnt shows (except maybe rise, but i could go back on that if i think about it for more than two seconds; this post isn’t about them tho), 2012 has the most dysfunctional family.

this is not a criticism tho. it’s an observation and it can lead to interesting storytelling.

splinter in 2012 suffers from ptsd and it affects how he teaches his children and how he views the world.

he’s been through a lot and was lead to believe he lost his first child.

so yes it’s not shocking that he’d make bad decisions as a parent.

he’s not a bad person by any means, but his attitude about strangers, enemies, and relationships are off. he shows favoritism towards leo, though that’s not his intention. he fails to give his other children the attention they need. etc etc

so it’s not that surprising that his children also gained flaws that affect each other negatively.

leo is dedicated to his training, which isn’t bad but it gave him an ego. he believes he’s the good example, that he’s better skilled than his brothers. he has good skills that make him the best choice as leader, but sometimes his ego and his authority make him downplay his brothers’ opinions and chastise their choices.

it’s mostly seen in his arguments with raphael and donatello. raphael is stubborn, but he values his family like leo does. their opinions on how to protect their family and do the right thing aren’t always on the right page, which frustrates them. raphael goes through growth that makes him a lot more patient with leonardo, but he still calls leo out when leo makes bad decisions, and leo often refuses to listen to him bc he’s the leader. he’s in charge. why should he listen? which is not what a leader should be and he needs to learn that over the course of the series (he,, rlly doesn’t but i digress).

as for donatello and leonardo. donatello is smart and leonardo knows that and ends up using that to his advantage. he puts a lot of pressure on donnie and overworks him. donatello is smart so he has to be the one to track things down, fix mutations, learn what is going wrong. and when donatello’s attempts go wrong, leonardo gets frustrated and orders donatello to just. do better. keep working on it. since donatello struggles with insecurities, this is just added to it and he is super hard on himself when he fails.

having so much pressure put on him by splinter certainly doesn’t help his attitude either.

is he hard on michelangelo? eh not rlly but mikey’s a nothing character so moving on

raphael very obviously has his temper. he’s probably the most criticized of the team so his faults are kinda obvious. he has the most growth in the show tho so i’m not gonna go into too much depth.

obviously his temper and habit to get violent when he’s angry affects his brothers negatively. tho he’s mostly physically violent with leonardo or michelangelo. with donatello they usually are more verbal ig? when raphael is rough with donatello, it’s usually playful. idk

also his temper affects his focus and skills so he’s often chastised by splinter, which comes across to him like leo is so much better and splinter likes him more.

donatello’s turn. this guy has his heart on his sleeve and ik i mention his insecurities constantly but it does affect him more than anything else. he’s insecure about being a mutant, he’s insecure about his weapon and fighting skills, he’s insecure about his feelings for april, he’s insecure about whether he’s smart enough, he’s insecure PERIOD. he has so much going on in that brain so ofc it’s gonna affect his brothers

he snaps at people all the time. he lets his insecurities affect the way he interacts with other people (see: casey jones).

even the pride he does have about his scientific accomplishments can be easily crushed when they’re ruined or criticized in some way.

he isolates very often and sometimes when he is confident it comes across as rude.

and when he acts out of concern for april, he goes about it wrong and ends up being creepy.

it doesn’t help that splinter hardly corrects any of his behavior. plus he doesn’t get the affirmation he needs.

as for michelangelo he’s a bad interpretation of someone with adhd— oh wait no that’s not what i’m trying to talk about hold on—

so michelangelo is playful and naïve and fails to take many things seriously, which frustrates his brothers a lot so it’s hard for them to take him seriously when he is being genuine.

and for karai, we already see how flawed and rebellious she is, and it rubs off on her brothers often, particularly leo.

this family is just a wreck but that’s why they’re so interesting to explore and see them grow. it’s why i wanted more from the series. their dynamics have positive parts as well and it’s nice seeing them talk through things. but the series sacrifices a lot of that for plots that don’t rlly matter tbh (most of season 5 <3)

they are not abusive at all but they are extremely flawed and that’s okay

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for thinking I'm not TA?

I (16 afab) and my sister (14F) have a kind of weird relationship. I love her a ton and would stand up for her in any situation, but she gets on my nerves and I get on hers and sometimes it feels like I can't say anything around her without it turning into a whole thing (Ex: she discounts my opinions because of how I'm on my phone a lot, she takes random shit I say and doesn't let it go, and a favorite line of hers is "well you're the one who [bla bla bla]".). And sometimes she brings up our past, and there's nothing I can say to go against that! I just feel so frustrated sometimes because I wish I could be friends with her, and I don't know if she still holds things against me because we never communicate, or maybe she just doesn't love me like I love her. Like, I'm ride or die for her. Even though we butt heads in every conversation!!!!!!!!

Context: When we were younger, around my primary school age (2nd grade to 5th) (oh and i skipped a grade if that means anything) I had severe behavioral problems as a result of brain inflammation. Honestly, I still don't know a ton about my medical history from then, because the reason for my behavior seems to change every time I ask my mom. And I can't really self-diagnose because I think my brain's either blocked out all of that unconsciously or just?? didn't remember?? I was actually really awful. I treated everyone like crap, especially my little sister. I was physically violent and really shitty in general.

However, I do not remember any of this. I try to justify feeling detachment for any kind of responsibility by saying that I was really young, had no control over my impulses (ADHD + autism + weird?? brain sickness??) and that that person doesn't feel like me anymore, since all my memories from that time are third-hand. I feel like that's shitty though!! because my actions obviously affected my little sister. And my mom doesn't really believe in therapy since it didn't work for me when I was younger (maybe because I hated my therapist but idk) and my sister kind of explodes when I try to work with her, so I don't know how to fix things. My family is wildly dysfunctional (we're better than we used to be I think) and I want to get along with people. But I also think I might have a toxic personality trait like thinking I'm always in the right!! I don't want to be that kind of person.

TLDR; weird relationship with my little sister that I avoid responsibility for in my brain.

What are these acronyms?

[that-ari-blogger]

What is the point of the Horde? Part 1

Ok. So, why does She Ra and the Princesses of Power begin in the horde? Why go through all the trouble if in the second episode, Adora switches sides? What is the point?

Obviously, the in-universe answer is "Adora was raised in the horde, so she starts the story in the horde" and that's a perfectly fine reason. But I'd like to delve into the thematic significance of that choice. What does Adora's connection to the horde do to the story?

SPOILERS AHEAD

I'm going to start by establishing some themes, so if you disagree with my takeaway, here is where it went wrong. In my understanding, She-Ra is about family, morality, freedom, and trauma.

So, what does the horde represent?

The horde is a dysfunctional family unit. The mother figure is manipulative, the father is distant and uncaring, and the children are used as weapons. Even if you don't read this as a family unit, this isn't the healthiest of dynamics in any situation.

In Shadowweaver's first scene, we get this shot, which is a fantastic visual metaphor for Shadowweaver's influence, the shadows claw at Catra's face, covering one eye and distorting her vision as a result. Interestingly, the shadows don't directly touch Adora, but the general dimness that Shadowweaver gives off does, and her expression makes it clear that Shadowweaver's influence does have consequences on her as well by proxy.

This is a neat representation of the rest of the series. My reading of this story was as an escape from abuse story. Adora gets away physically, but Shadowweaver follows her, while Catra can't leave.

"She's just bitter that she doesn't have any real power that doesn't have any real power that doesn't come from Hoardack, and everyone knows it."

The above quote is from Catra talking about Shadowweaver and I'd like to take it apart.

Niccolò Machiavelli is the namesake for the word Machiavellian in reference to a manipulator or schemer. A lot of people cast him as a historical villainous character, and while that isn't entirely true, the reason for this word is primarily a book called The Prince. In it, he poses the idea that "It is much safer for the prince to be feared than loved, though he should avoid making himself hated." Shadowweaver embodies this mindset.

Catra is wrong here. Shadowweaver does have power, and its being demonstrated right here in this single shot. Shadowweaver has the same power that certain people in real life have, she can control people. In this case, she can turn best friends against each other with barely a thought.

Shadowweaver has cultivated fear in her children, but she has taken care to not distance herself from Adora too far. She considers one of her children superior and diverts all of her affection into that child while shunning and demeaning the other to no end.

Interestingly, Shadowweaver's approach to love is also toxic. When Adora questions her judgement even slightly, Shadowweaver's immediate response is two things. I took you in and you want this. This is emotionally manipulative, she's making Adora feel guilty for wanting her friend to be recognised, and she's telling Adora what she wants, imposing her own will and ambition onto her.

Here's the kicker, The Prince was a satire. It was a callout to the leadership of the time that their actions were unjust and unkind. It was a statement that this method of leadership, while effective to this point, was doomed to fall.

So, why does She-Ra begin in the horde?

I think it's to show the trauma more acutely. It's to show the effect that Shadowweaver has on Adora and Catra and to explain, thematically, what this story is about. This isn't just a story about good and evil, but freedom, and love, and the story is going out of its way to show what the characters are running from. To show what, despite their best efforts, the characters cannot escape from, and will not escape from, until the final episode.

Part 2 is going to discuss episode 2 in detail and why Catra can't leave. It'll be an interesting discussion, I hope.

Next

[purpleheartskies]

(These are general thoughts and not directed at anyone in particular.)

Since s5, it's weird how much people actively dismiss storytelling techniques, characterizations, body language in acting, and basically any aspect of storytelling or filmmaking that depicts how toxic and dysfunctional the blended "family" is, and this includes the nuances of Robby's and other characters' behaviors, the use of the pregnancy as an obvious negative plot device, and the ongoing and worsening trauma Johnny has been subjecting Robby to. It's been hard keeping up with the fandom's moving goal posts about what counts as storytelling.

There's also something to be said about the notion that Cobra Kai, being a "comedy", won't explore trauma, mental health, and dysfunctional relationships, although it's clearly exploring these topics. Comedy comes in many forms, some of which are dark or sardonic in nature. The writers have also called Cobra Kai a "dramedy", which is an equal blend of comedy and drama (aka "tragicomedy"). This is what the show has always been. Comedy can also be done at different levels in storytelling. s5e4 is a great example of this. People got a good laugh out of Johnny's antics during the uber scenes, though this is also a comedic yet sad portrayal of how unhealthy Johnny's behavior is. But what is also "funny" about the episode is that it starts with Carmen's dream family with her dream version of Johnny who is put together and mature, but the rest of the episode depicts how Johnny really is: the mess that he's been throughout the series. That meta storytelling took place over the whole episode, and that's also "comedy". The prom episode in s4 had a similar format. Robby had been left out of the "happy" "family" photo early in the episode, and for the rest of the episode, pretty much everyone in the photo had a crappy night while Robby had the best night out of all them (sadly, one of the few episodes that Robby actually "won" compared to the others). Johnny's silly antics are "comedy", while Carmen's "dream Johnny" in s5e4 and the "happy" "family" image in s4e8 being unraveled by exposing the ugly truths is "comedy" too. In fact, there are some comedies in which the overall "joke"/lesson of the story is not only on certain characters as they come to some profound realizations at one point, but on the audience as well. In general, it makes no sense when people claim that this is a "comedy" and "not that type of show" so trauma won't explored in the show. Trauma is fair game in comedy and has always been in play in this show.

Trauma is not only a significant part of Robby's characterization and character journey, but trauma is also part of Johnny's, Kreese's, Silver's, Daniel's, Sam's, Tory's, Hawk's, Kenny's, etc characterizations and character journeys. All of them are characterized to have preexisting traumas and/or experience traumas during the series that drive their behaviors and stories. The story also explores what happens when characters adopt Cobra Kai's / Eagle Fang's aggressive mentality to cope with their traumas. Are people really going to deny that trauma is explored in the story, just so that they can, for example, enjoy the toxic blended family as wholesome despite seeing how dysfunctional it is in all its parts? Johnny and Robby's relationship as well as Miguel and Robby's "rivalry" aren't the only unhealthy aspects of the blended family. Johnny's relationships with Carmen and with Miguel are also dysfunctional. Johnny is an emotionally immature alcoholic who is incapable of keeping down a job, something that Carmen willfully ignores while she parents him. Johnny is also unhealth​i​ly obsessed with Miguel, not only risking Robby's well-being for him but also getting impotent over him spending time with another sensei. Nothing about the blended family is good, and that's the point. Johnny isn't capable of having healthy relationships, and Carmen obviously isn't inclined to healthy relationships either. She's an enabler. She enables Johnny's unhealthy behavior with Miguel by making Johnny feel responsible for Miguel's bad behvaior, and she only corrects Johnny's behavior that she views as a problem for her family while ignoring his other faults. She also enables Miguel's selfish and entitled behavior, like how she's never held him accountable throughout the series and how she didn't even discipline him for running away and endangering all of them like he had. Miguel also feels a sense of entitlement over Johnny. Miguel admit to Hawk and Demetri that he wouldn't "let" Robby being with Johnny "get to him", as Miguel believes that he has a right to be upset about Johnny spending time with his own son. People choose to ignore these aspects of Johnny's, Carmen's, and Miguel's characterizations. People especially ignore Johnny's unhealthy behavior in his relationships even though it's a very important and obvious part of Johnny's characterization due to his traumas.

In s5, Johnny's whole arc with the plot device baby was about how his past traumas continue to negatively impact him, especially his inability to properly be a father to Robby. Johnny was fixated on using the baby as yet another "chance" to make up for his failures with Robby, while continuing to fail with Robby. The baby is such an obvious plot device that was used in a toxic way for both Johnny's and Robby's character journeys. In fact, the baby was used as a negative plot device to worsen Johnny's relationship with Robby in s5 just like how the Diazs have always been negative plot devices to worsen Johnny's relationship with Robby since s1.

Johnny's also still an alcoholic, who hasn't gotten his shit together. He started out the series commiting assault while drunk, and he ended s5 committing assault while drunk. It's funny that people say that Johnny has grown just because he himself claims he has (by quoting Rocky, no less), even though he's clearly portrayed as not having grown. So, people think that Johnny has "grown" even though Johnny's still a deadbeat alcoholic with poor mental health who continues to treat his kid like shit, commit crimes and assaults, and give self-centered, self-pitying speeches, while people also think Robby has "grown" because he suddenly seems to no longer have the years of trauma he's been characterized with and that has been worsening since the start of the series? There's a double standard and lack of logic in this thinking. Even the last line spoken about the baby by another character was Silver's words to Johnny: "at least you won't be around to screw up another kid." A line that not only acknowledges what a continued mess Johnny is (given what he did that night), but also acknowledges that Robby is "screwed up" because of Johnny.

Oh, and I'll say it. Even "comedies" have baby plotlines that end in a miscarriage. King of Queens is an example of a sitcom that had a pregnancy/miscarriage arc. Another goal post that people move is that the show isn't "that dark". Are people gonna say that King of Queens was a "dark" show or went "too dark" because they included a miscarriage plotline in it? People act like the obviously toxic blended family is the immutable endgame. But it's not immutable, and as far as storytelling goes, it's been written to fall apart.

Storytelling in shows/films involves characterization, dialogue, cinematography, music, and other audio and visual elements. I know I'm stating the obvious, but from what I've seen people have been purposely picking and choosing what they want to ignore from these things when it comes to the story. For example, it makes no sense when people say that the body language in the Robby scenes in s5 doesn't matter, even though body language is so key in film. Animations for example make sure to include body language for the characters. More recently, the actors in The Mandalorian said they have to exaggerate their non-facial body language when they have their helmets on. Actors also hire body language coaches to help them with their roles sometimes, like Ke Huy Quan did for EEOAO. This isn't to say that the story or production in Cobra Kai doesn't have flaws here and there, but people really, and I mean really, act like the story is a mindless thought dump that is only there to appease fans of Johnny's and Miguel's characters, even though (1) these two haven't been as relevant to the main dojo war plot of Cobra Kai vs Miyagi-Do for these past few seasons and (2) they have two of the worst characterizations and journeys of the "good guy" characters: minimal to no growth, uncaring and unempathetic towards their loved ones, and pretty self-serving (even their relationship is self-serving for each of them), to name a few things. Meanwhile, Robby is still at the center of the dojo war, through his connections with the other characters, and Robby has some of the best character traits. It seems like people in general are choosing to fundamentally misunderstand the story because they still want to believe it's the "Johnny and Miguel show". (I guess, Daniel, Silver, and Chozen's whole dynamic and storyline this season was less important than Miguel running off to find his dad and literally nothing coming of that, as he just went back to focusing on his obsession with Sam soon after he returned. /s)

It also seems that people want "realistic" characterizations, but when they're given that, they complain. They move that goal post too: "Make it realistic... but in the way I want it to be." The thing is trauma and dysfunctional relationship behaviors aren't "black and white". They're not straightforward. They're messy and complicated. And sadly, many trauma survivors, especially those with cptsd, can behave how Robby did in s5: fawning / people pleasing to an unhealthy degree to feel safe and accepted. I've mentioned this in many recent posts. I've also seen others acknowledge that Robby acts like a "chameleon" when he needs to, as seen in previous seasons. Robby's cptsd has been worsening throughout the series, and Johnny and Miguel have played huge roles in it. This continues to be the case in s5. They're essentially the "bad guys" in Robby's story, moreso than even Kreese and Silver are, despite these two being the main "bad guys" of the series. This is an example of how the show continues to be gray. Kreese and Silver haven't hurt Robby to the extent that Johnny, Miguel, Daniel, and Sam have. One person's "good guy" can be another person's "bad guy". Why would Robby like and praise Johnny and Miguel the way their fans do? In s5, Robby was in unsafe situations with them, and he did what he needed to to appease them, especially Johnny.

Wrt the other characters' journeys and their traumas in s5: Kreese had a whole arc with a therapist this season that added more insight into his character. Sam keeps trying to find ways to control the people and situations around her to feel in control and safe as she copes with her trauma from the school fight, which was worsened by the house fight. Daniel was totally paranoid and off balance, especially the first half of the season, because of his trauma from Silver in kk3. Kenny was also still affected by all the bullying he'd endured, and he felt empowered by CK to act on his anger towards Anthony. (Also, Kenny's arc is unique to the others because he only bullied his bully, not random people and his former best friend (like Hawk did) and not some random person he'd felt slighted by (like Miguel still does and like Tory did). Not to mention, Robby had taught Kenny the "right way", but Kreese and Silver's Cobra Kai teachings won out.)

Overall, it makes no sense to look at the whole story and say, "Well, everyone's traumas are still a part of the story... except for Robby's." Another thing about many nuanced "comedies" is that they're meant to be thought provoking. Instead of ignoring important details to cheer on the toxic blended family, maybe we the audience should be paying attention to all the consistent details and calling out the toxic blended family. Even the writers have confirmed (in their recent CKK interview) that (1) they didn't rush the story ending in s5 because they knew they would be renewed (they only rushed production because Netflix ordered the season early to fill a slot in their Fall lineup) and (2) all the "feelings" that the characters had are all still there.

[saturnskyline]

i was rewatching hospital scene, our beloved, and realized that for someone who lost everything, vegas actually won the most in the end. his father is dead, he is free from doing the job he hated, he has pete and macau, and a happy hospital ending. he can build a new life, read books, learn to cook and spend time with his family, and heal from the abuse.

meanwhile we have unhappy kim and chay, porsche who became everything he hated in some ways (he did found his mom and kinn at least), and as far from his beach bar dream as possible, kinn who is still just a chessboard piece (got porsche though) and not that happy about his job either if episode 6 tells us anything. so in the end "the villain" got the best outcome? kinnporsche is insane?

nonnie you are SO RIGHT. the way that vegas hits rock bottom and still sorta wins in the end?? very not normal about it 😭 i also really love the nuance of the ending overall. kinnporsche slaying as Mafia Boyfriends™, but ultimately trapped by korn (always emo about the beach bar.. just terrible), kimchay being miserable with their unresolved issues, despite being the couple that arguably has the least baggage (? i mean it's still a lot though) .... meanwhile beloved hospital family, dysfunctional as it is, gets to end on a pretty positive note! vegas is alive, for one, and as you pointed out, he has pete and macau and is free from his horrible father! so yeah, lots of unexpectedly good stuff going on there <333

now, obviously our dear family's situation isn't perfect - vegas still has to cope with his life being turned upside down, and while they're supposedly "out" of the mafia, it's hard to know what korn has planned for these three in the future. and sure, all of them have LOADS of trauma to work through, what with the torture and the abusive fathers, etc. but what i really love about the happy moments throughout the series is how they exist in spite of all the darkness. against all odds, these people have survived and gotten to spend, at the very least, a peaceful moment with each other. the "antagonist" of the story (if kinn is to be read as the "protagonist", that is) gets the chance to start anew with the people he loves most. and wow, isn't that just something?

one more thing, since i'm incapable of shutting up about this: i will never be over just how completely the show sold me on vegaspete. all the pieces just came together, and by the time we got to the finale, it was insane how cathartic and satisfying that hospital scene really was. so much has been said about this already, but i still can't believe the extent to which i fell in love with these freaks... and by that i mean occasionally disregarding the main couple (the literal name of the show????) in the second half of their arc and wanting to skip back to the deeply toxic, painful, walking-daddy-issues-in-a-trenchcoat pairing. (not like kp doesn't have any problems.. but c'mon lol.) anyway, i guess what i'm trying to say is that, while i never anticipated this, i'm really quite happy to be here 😅😅

[whosedidi]

I write fanfic now

I’m making one shots of Chris’ Redfields childhood all the way to S.T.A.R.S. This’ll include internalized homophobia, alcoholism, toxic masculinity and a dysfunctional family

Here’s a sneak peak ^^

It was a warm summer afternoon firefly’s could be heard. Chris and Kevin were giggling their asses off playing with their cars.

Chris did an impression of a car exploding,“Kaboom!!” He crashed his car into Kevin’s.

Their combination could cause the grumpiest of people to perk up. Not a care in the world for them.

“Christopher!! it’s time for supper!!” His mom called out from the back door of the house.

Chris looked down at his cars sadly knowing it was time to eat.

“Bye Kevin.. See you tomorrow” Chris smiled somberly at Kevin.

Kevin hugged Chris. The two boys were inseparable since forever.

“Bye Chris!” Kevin said.

Kevin grabbed his bike; which still had its training wheels attached.

Chris’ mom lead him inside.

“Jeez after supper i’m going to have to bathe you again.” She mumbled to herself. “I told you to not get that dirty”

She looked dissatisfied at the dirt and scratched on his knees.

“I’m sorry mama” He said while twiddling his tiny thumbs.

She wasn’t able to stay mad for long though,”It’s okay sweet pea, just don’t let it happen again”

Chris nodded then walked all perky to the dinner table knowing he got off scotch free. Chris could hear the familiar voice of Hawkeye coming from the TV. He knew his father was watching M*A*S*H again.. His mom never let him watch it. But his dad secretly let him watch it. Saying it would turn him into a ‘Real man’. To Chris his father was the epitome of a real man. He idolized him. Whenever his mom would mumble mean things about him he’d feel angry. He rarely felt angry.

“James it’s time for dinner!!” His mom yelled as she served a plate of meatloaf in front of Chris. Mr. Redfield walked to the table and sat silently. The silence obviously meant that Mrs and Mr. Redfield had fought before. Chris noticed this and his mood soured as he picked at his meatloaf as if it were a foreign object.

Mr. Redfield noticed his son’s mood and started to conversate.

He asked,“What’s this?”

“Meatloaf” Ms. Redfield stated.

“It looks like someone threw up in my plate” He had said this joke many times and it never seemed to get old for Chris.

Chris started giggling as Ms. Redfield rolled her eyes. Chris noticed the lack of laughter coming from his mother and thought she just didn’t understand humor.

“If my cooking is that bad how bout you cook? James.” She said.

Oh no.. another argument was going to transpire. Chris just wanted to run to Kevin’s house. He hated being in the crossfire of these situations.

“Well that’s your job” Chris’ dad said.

Her anger started to rise. Chris could’ve sworn he saw a vein emerge out of his mother’s forehead. “Oh I have a fucking job. Says the one who got laid off!” She yelled back.

This really hit the spot this was just hand sanitizer to Mr. Redfield’s wound.

After that Chris started to block out the obscenity being thrown at eachother. Just focusing on his food. During this he started to think about the little things. Like how many times did he chew his food before swallowing it. Or the space of time between each beep from the AC. Trying to distract himself from his family situation. He found himself blinking back tears and trying to swallow the lump in his throat. Before he knew it he heard his mother slamming the door to her bedroom and Chris’ dad watching TV while drinking beer. Chris’ dad patted a seat next to him. Chris hopped onto the seat next to him.

“Dad.?” Chris mumbled.

“Yes Christopher” He said while having his undivided attention on the colored TV; Which had spent months saving up for.

“Why do you argue with momma so much.?” Chris asked seriously.

“Well, she’s a crazy broad” He said to Chris like there was supposed to be a laughing track over that. Chris just wanted real answers. Even though he was 5 he was old enough to understand that he lived in a messed up family and it would not be fixed. Chris knew that was the only and we he’d get from his father knowing he didn’t take him seriously. He sat next to him watching M*A*S*H. He listened to his father complain about inaccuracies.

“They turned war into a drama about phonies playing footsies!!” He complained to Chris. “Like I didn’t get shot at and watch my friends die just to watch this shit..” He mumbled. Even though he always complained about the show he still continuously stayed tune for new episodes. The show was like this middle aged man’s Holy Grail. He took a sip from his beer his eyes being glued to his TV instead of acknowledging his own son. Chris sometimes wondered what was so good about beer that his father seemed to drink it every night.

“Is beer good?” Chris asked.

His father looked over to him and answered somberly, “No. But it makes you feel numb”

“Oh” Chris responded. This was the most serious his father had ever treated him. Chris’ father wrapped his arm around him and continued to watch the show. After a while Chris started to feel sleepy and rested his head on his father’s shoulder.

“Goodnight papa” He yawned and closed his eyes.

His father carried Chris to his small room.

[roamwithahungryheart]

What about Ted’s toxic positivity? He pressured Michelle into doing things she didn’t want. We only see things from Ted’s perspective and he never once acknowledged what he put Michelle through. Imagine the nightmare of loving someone who refuses to acknowledge their own pain and the pain of those around them.

Ted is just as toxic and manipulative as Michelle is. Just because she no longer wanted to be married to a man who didn’t respect her enough to let go of the fact that he was hurting her, doesn’t mean she was abusive. Ted needs to hold himself accountable for dismissing Michelle and the suffering he put her through. How can he be a good father if he can’t even be a good partner?

Ted's toxic positivity comes from a place of trauma - after his Dad's death he obviously spent years being a caregiver and repressing his emotions because 'men don't cry'. He needed to be tough. He was the man of the house.

He's spent decades putting everyone else's needs above his own. So when it comes to relationships, he's a pushover. He's Mr. Fix-It. He's experienced loss and blamed himself for it, and can't help but keep putting himself in that place over and over again.

Michelle tells him she doesn't love him any more, she can't keep trying to love him, and that's all we know about the split. We only know what she wants.

Ted's coping mechanism is humor and optimism - he's been conditioned to pretend everything's fine and to shrug things off. Like I mentioned in the similar ask below, his only relationship model has been an unhealthy one built around guilt and emotional repression. His unresolved childhood trauma seeped into his marriage and he felt like a failure because he couldn't fix it. He couldn't stop something bad from happening.

Even if they'd both made mistakes in the marriage, ultimately Ted blames himself. And Michelle doesn't exactly refute that. It's hurtful to hear your partner blame you for the end of your relationship when you don't even know what you've done wrong.

It's hurtful when your partner doesn't stand by you and try to understand your own trauma. Only one partner wanted to work on the marriage. Michelle decided it was dead long before Ted even knew she wanted out, and continued to behave as though they were already over. She blindsided him. She didn't give him time to come to terms with the marriage ending. That's a pretty inconsiderate thing to do.

'How can he be a good father if he can’t even be a good partner?'

I think he wrestles with that throughout the show - and we're seeing it even more now - he doesn't feel like a good father, he doesn't feel like a successful parent or partner - he thinks he let them both down because he wasn't what they needed him to be. Or rather what Michelle wanted him to be. Henry still loves his Dad no matter what. He thinks he's a great father. Michelle's the one who cuts and runs and finds a partner that suits her needs at that moment in time. Ted wants to do what's best for everyone, because he's spent his entire life trying to do what's best for his dysfunctional, broken family.

[evaglass]

Part 2 talking about Karai and her arc in the 2012 series

To start off where I left, Karai is starting to obviously a dark path and mindset, it is shown when she attacks April.

Yet when April mentions that she lost her mother, Karai stops in her tracks and empathizes with her. Obviously, growing up without her has had a negative impact on her, even worse when Karai knows Tang Shen was murder, but not by the man she thought.

Rightfully so, April uses this moment where Karai is distracted to shove her down the stairs and escape. But look at Karai's face, it says so much from probably, "How could I fall for that?" to "What am I doing?" She doesn't even go after April when she gets up when she easily can. She must've been really conflicted, I mean, she's only 16, and she probably had to grow up really quickly living with the Shredder.

Karai is shown to be very impulsive as well as emotional even when trying to repress it. However, Karai still greatly values Honor. Of course, there was no honor in attacking a girl with less experience than her, same with when she puts April's dad under mind control in the Showdown part 1 so that she could give April to the Kraang, and attacking April again in Target: April O'Neil.

However, she did stop Shredder from ending Splinter's life in an unhonorable way while he was poisoned, she stopped Tiger Claw from hurting a defenseless blind guy, and when the turtles come to save Leo from her in Follow the Leader she tells them it's nothing too personal against them and they are just bait for Splinter. Maybe that's what April was along for her bait, maybe she knew the turtles would come in rescue her while the Shredder and her would attempt to finish Splinter off.

Most of her anger was towards Splinter and Leo because she believed one of them killed her mother, and the other one betrayed her trust. Although Raph, Donnie, and Mikey were also in the plan to assassinate the Shredder, she mostly blames Leo because he's the leader and believes they were acting on his accords.

I think Karai just wanted to achieve her vengeance as soon as possible at that point. She probably wanted everything taken care of before she possibly lost her father. When she tells Splinter he ruined her family, I can't help but feel really sorry for her. Her mother being absent from life and being solely raised by the Shredder has really sacred her. Maybe she pictured her life would be very different if her mother was still alive, more normal, where Shredder is probably a warmer and kinder father, where she didn't have to mostly be raised a soldier. It is possible that Karai was a bit jealous of April because even if she doesn't have her mom, she has a very loving father.

Going into the relationship between Karai and Shredder, I do believe Karai loved him before she found out the truth and maybe a little bit after she found. I also think the Shredder loved Karai as well, but it was absolutely toxic and dysfunctional. I mean, look at Karai's face when she asked if he wouldn't let the footbots finish her off, and he deflects the question. All he responds with is, "I'm leaving, don't do anything while I'm gone, or you'll be punished." No answer, not even an "I love you" before he leaves.

It's shown that even though Karai loved the man she thought was her father, she was still very afraid of him, like when he playfully sassed him and he raised his voice and walked towards her. You can tell she was afraid as she bowed again to him.

When Karai finds out the truth, I honestly can see why she would go after the Shredder alone.

He kidnapped her as baby

stripped her of her name

raised her as a soldier

Killed her mother

Made her believe her actual father killed her mother

Had her participate in the plot to attempt to murder her actual father

Very likely raised her in a dysfunctional home where the love he showed must've been very limited or presented in a very unhealthy manner

1, 3, 4

[wefallforever]

Spoilers for episode 6 of the bear below!

The first thing I have to say after finishing this episode: 🗣️🗣️Natalie "Sugar" Berzatto has never done anything wrong in her life EVEN ONCE!! (Can you tell I'm an eldest "daughter" LMAO 🥲)

But for real though this episode was so fucking intense. I'm personally a christmas lover but ep. 6 is the perfect example of why people hate the holidays. All the family bunched up together in one space and the dynamics get so chaotic so fast.

Ugh the wounds in this family! You can see the horrors of addiction and toxic dysfunction reverberating in all their actions. Of course we try to cover it up, pretend things are normal, that things are comfortable. Meanwhile the air in the room feels too tight and the demons/scared inner children we hold within are screaming for attention. "I AM IN PAIN! I FEEL UNLOVED! I AM ANGRY! WHY DOESN'T ANYONE CARE! PAY ATTENTION TO ME NOTICE ME!"

The sibling pep talk at the beginning felt sooo familiar. "Make a plan to keep our unstable mom in check. It is doomed to fail, but we are trying anyways!" Desperately doing everything you can to help her while she screams that you don't care-threatens to die, to go away, because we are all so cruel to her. Ultimately we cannot actually stop her from going away and being closed off to us, no matter how much broken glass we sweep up off the floor. (No amount of bleeding and tears and begging and pleading can change her. As much as we would like).

OOF and that deep dissociation we see from Carmy and Sugar at the end?!!! Brutal as fuck! My consciousness damn near left my body too. Had to remind myself out loud I wasn't in actual danger. And poor Mikey screaming at his mom to open the door over and over, to let him help over and over, while she just laughed and laughed and laughed? Definitely the kind of thing you have to unpack in a 12 step meeting.

The last thing I will say is Uncle Lee deserved that third spoon!!! Obviously Mikey was being a dick with the first two but Lee kept provoking him when he should have just shut the fuck up and left. Then when he made that unkind comment about Donna who is clearly suffering from mental illness!!! I was like "do what you gotta do Mikey fuck him up!" That could be the aries rising talking but I'm not sure.

Very excited to finish the last three episodes over the weekend!

[collymore]

Why sycophantically fawn over people you really don't know and never will, beats me!

By Stanley Collymore

Rather self-evidently, conscionable concern is clearly needed for the Windsor children being raised with these distinctly poor values they're being imbued with! Other than that too, anyone with rather a minimum amount of common sense, let alone any viable Intelligence, can clearly see, simply by looking at these unquestionably really asinine and distinctly equally, fatuous photos that this is irrefutably actually a clearly truly basically dysfunctional family unit, literally ensconced within a similarly larger, evident family. One, that obviously, doesn't make any real sense in a truly modern environment; and bluntly rather offensive basically considering the literally unwarranted status that they're accorded, and the society over which they undoubtedly evidently have, this unelected status over, are cynically crucially unasked, clearly offensively so, either for their permission in that regard or actually to evidently, have to obligatorily fork out such inordinate, sums of money to these distinctly financial leeches! And, wouldn't it at least be honest if the voters had that relevant, decent option to effectively choose, whom their national wealth simply should or could essentially be squandered in this discernibly farcical fashion?

(C) Stanley V. Collymore 16 June 2024.

Author's Remarks: My guess is that those who undeniably, evidently run, and similarly control this distinctly inequitable system, obviously in tandem with those who significantly, massively profit from it; quite evidently apart from literally feathering their own financial nests and enhancing, as well, their own social climbing ambitions, do generally know, that deeply embedded sycophantic serfs are customarily very used to these sorts of things, and since Britain is still in reality very undoubtedly still a firm feudal entity, in this the 21st Century, even though pretending, to be a genuinely modern democracy, while in essence, disadvantage too oneself literally on behalf a bunch of fatuous, basically lowlife, toxically verminous morons that are so immersed in their quite rampant stupidity, that there's no way they would ever thank you for what you're evidently doing on their behalf  these discernibly masochistic and intensely proud of it, feudal mind-set, monarchical serfs who carry on infesting British society clearly with their presence. And the Windsors know this quite well; and obviously so, wholly capitalize on it!  

[vampire-exgirlfriend]

I love Nesta and she's easily the best most complex character there is. The first book shows her an bitch ™ without any depth but your points about her doing women's work etc are incorrect. I've enclosed a link

https://www.reddit.com/r/acotar/comments/15gt23t/spoilers_the_unseen_labor_done_in_the_cabin/#:~:text=Papa%20Archeron%20%2D%20cooked%20and%2For,Feyre%20%2D%20hunt%20and%20trade.

No hate just some enlightenment

I don't think my points are incorrect, but okay, I'll bite.

"Though Nesta had awoken at dawn to chop wood" ACOTAR ch 3

"Nesta picked at her long, neat nails. 'I hate chopping wood. I always get splinters.'" ACOTAR ch 3

To equate Feyre skinning the deer, which is knowledge she gained via doing the hunting, with her handling the cooking is incorrect. It's noted in ACOMAF that it's her sister's doing the cleaning (ch 24). And also noted in ACOMAF that Feyre can't cook (ch 54). She states in ACOTAR that they were eating stews and pies to use up the meat her and her father didn't dry into jerky (ch 1). So who cooked those meals?

Look, this family is toxic and dysfunctional. Nesta is a bitch, Elain is infantilized beyond belief, and their father is basically useless. They were not kind to Feyre. But Feyre very obviously holds her contributions to the household as above her sisters, likely because her sisters take after their mother and learned more at her side than Feyre did, so it's no wonder we don't see what it was that Nesta and Elaine brought to the table, because Feyre doesn't value those things as much and as such, doesn't mention them often.

[alliluyevas]

speaking of joffrey,do you think he might turn out differently and less rotten with jaime for a mother- is he just an avg spoilt prince and not a budding serial kille

hi!!! I saw this yesterday morning but I was traveling yesterday so I'll get to it now.

Thank you for asking me an au development question! I've thought a lot about how the change in circumstances might impact Joffrey, though obviously for much of the fic he is only a baby. I very much did not want to act like having a different mother would fix Joffrey, because it feels sort of sexist to book!Cersei and also because it definitely isn't accurate to how I see the characters and scenarios. I think a lot of readers sort of think Cersei is the primary influence on how Joffrey turns out, but I think Robert's influence is often kind of underplayed because Joffrey clearly idolizes his father and looks up to him and deliberately emulates him to some extent and....that is not a good position to me in.

So in this AU, Robert is obviously still part of the picture, and though his marriage with Jaime is different it's still pretty toxic and he's still not a great role model for a young boy and I think Joffrey is still picking up some very skeevy messages about how to treat women/people in general.

I also think Jaime, while more empathetic and nurturing than Cersei, is also in many ways not a great mother. She's young, overwhelmed, has a lot of kids close together in two different dysfunctional relationships, and is not the most responsible. She's also someone who tends to deal with difficult situations by repressing her feelings, ignoring the issue, and trying to be a people pleaser, which I think might tend towards her being a bit of an enabler when it comes to poor behavior on the part of Robert and Cerion, and both that behavior and her reactions are going to affect the children. Again, like I think she loves her children, she doesn't have issues showing them affection, she can be very caring, but she does not have the tools to deal with the conflict in her family.

Joffrey also has another parental figure in his uncle/father, because I think Cerion is going to be a lot more involved with Jaime's kids (the ones that are his, anyway) than Jaime is in canon, and that is not necessarily going to be the best influence either (though obviously very different circumstances and relationship than Cersei-as-mother in canon). I think there is going to be a lot of weird hinky back and forth between the fact that his somewhat-absent-but-very-much-admired legal father and his involved-but-not-very-consistent uncle/father figure/bio father clearly have weird beef that Joffrey won't entirely understand and he's sort of torn between those male influences, plus any existing sibling rivalry between him and his sibs is going to be exacerbated and sort of twisted by the fact that there's this very very clear if unexplained favoritism by Cerion for the kids who "look like him" over the kids who look like Robert. And even if he doesn't consciously understand that they're not all full siblings there is definitely going to be a weird dynamic because of that.

[hello-nichya-here]

Why Zuko sided with Azula over Iroh in Ba Sing Se (and why he was somewhat "right" to do so)

One of the "twists" in Avatar that make more and more sense the more I think about it, was Zuko betraying his uncle when Azula gives him a chance to come home - and it is also one of my favorite parallels in the narrative.

In "Avatar State" we see Azula suddenly coming back into Zuko and Iroh's life, telling her brother the very lie he wanted so desperately to convince himself was true (that Ozai was genuinely sorry and wanted him around), while Iroh was trying to snap him out of it.

However, as the season went on, we see that dynamic start to shift, and Iroh is the one who is clearly struggling to see the obvious: that Zuko would never be truly happy leading that simple, honest, good life they had in Ba Sing Se (at least not without getting some kind of closure/truly understanding just how badly his father hurt him).

Iroh wanted the best for Zuko, and he genuinely loved him, but he was seeing only the good in him, which made Zuko vulnerable to his most toxic traits (impatience, entitlement, selfishness, exagerated pride and anger). He was ignoring the simple facts that:

1 - Even though Iroh obviously like a father to him, and Zuko loved him dearly, he still loved Ozai and wanted his love as well.

2 - No matter how great of a life he was offered in Ba Sing Se, Zuko did not chose it, but was forced into it in a very traumatic way, losing his family, his home, his country,and literally everything he knew, and being thrown in enemy territory, having to either keep chasing an "impossible" goal of capturing someone who was "dead", or to just accept that the life he knew before was over and that he would never even see his father again, let alone be able to reconciliate with him OR call him out for his abuse.

Iroh was keeping Zuko safe and trying to help him make the best out of a bad situation. He was also ignoring his emotional needs. And when Zuko gave in and started acting like the son he thought Iroh wanted (that was so completely un-zuko-like that it was almost disturbing to watch), Iroh didn't recognize how false and unhealthy that was.

Then Azula comes back, and just seeing her, just having one small bit of his old life back immediately makes the real Zuko come back.

Unlike their uncle, Azula did not choose to see only one side of her brother. She knew very well that, despite of everything he had gone through and how much he had changed, he was still the proud prince of the Fire Nation (something Zuko himself says out loud in "Zuko Alone" right after remembering his mother telling him "Never forget who you are") and that he was still the loyal son that wanted nothing but to be someone his father would love and be proud of.

There's also one thing that people forget that Azula was implicitly offering to her brother on that moment: her approval. Their relationship was a train-wreck, but Zuko had always (reluctantly) admired Azula, and on that moment she was honest with him. She promised she'd take him home if he helped her, and she did. She said he restored his own honor that night, and she meant it. On "The Headband" she told him she was looking out for him despite gaining nothing by doing so and she was telling the truth. On "The Beach" she knew he was upset, knew where to find him, and tried to cheer him up (in a unhealthy way, but this ain't the point). Zuko's relationship with sister is much more complicated than Iroh realized, and they did care about each other, in their own weird, dysfunctional way - which was another factor on Zuko's betrayal, after all, he only joined the fight when Azula was being cornered by Aang and Katara.

But most important of all, she did something Iroh thought he was doing for him, but wasn't able to truly put into practice: allowing Zuko to choose. "Who are you? And what do you want?" Really important questions that Zuko needed to figure out the answers to, and that Iroh convinced himself he already knew. Zuko wanted to do right, and he didn't want any innocents to suffer, but he never stopped wanting the throne and the approval of his family. Only by truly seeing the appalling things his father, his sister, and his entire nation were willing to do to the rest of the world (and with Iroh no longer coddling him, but instead holding him accountable) did he finally understand that he could either be a good person, or he could keep supporting them out of blind loyalty. He would never be able to do both.

Azula allowed her brother to do one of the worst things he could have ever done and to reach his lowest point - and that allowed him to choose right, not be forced into acting a certtain way. Ironically, she, the perfect Fire Nation soldier, Ozai's "evil" daughter and favorite weapon, was the one who saved Zuko - or rather, showed him the way to save himself.

(Too bad those goddamn comics chose to have Zuko abuse her while she was at her most vulnerable instead of trying to do the same for her)

[cimerran-714]

An imaginary conversation between the members of the Golden Trio and JKR ;)

Note: Given the apparent ire that this post has triggered among some (toxic) Canon Shippers, I'd like to clarify something: It's not meant to be disrespectful towards any other pairings (especially R/Hr). I'd included the 'Ron Weasley' tag by mistake, and it'd remain there until I figure out how to do away with it. I won't be removing this disclaimer, though.

In the meantime, keep a civil head in your tongue if you'd like to comment. If 'Harmony' isn't your thing, then simply don't read it.

*After the events that unfolded in the fifth book (Order of the Phoenix), Harry decides to give J.K Rowling a piece of his mind*

Harry: Hey, I think of Ginny as a sister

JKR: Wait, no! That will never do. I was planning on making you love her.

Harry: I'd have thought me and Hermione have got a better chemistry together, actually...

JKR: Yes, but Ginny's an athlete, Harry. And as all the Romione shippers have claimed, you obviously can't find a girl like Hermione attractive.

Harry: That's not true. I like her very much. I mean, it was Hermione who hugged me for the first time when we tried to save the Philosopher's stone.

JKR: Yes, but-

Harry: Why didn't Ron accompany us to rescue Sirius from the North Tower?

JKR: Well, that was just-

Harry: Ron thought I was lying, that I was trying to earn myself a bit more fame by entering myself for the Triwizard tournament. She believed me, though.

JKR: Yes, but-

Harry: And I was a bit "thrilled" when Krum considered me a true rival.

JKR: Yes, but-

Harry: You made sure that she had "snow in her face", and that her cheeks were "pink with cold", didn't you?

JKR: Yes, but-

Harry: Why was she so interested in knowing where I sleep, anyway?

JKR: Well-

Harry: I remember being careful enough to make sure that I'd pinched my own leg while we were closeted in that cupboard. I mean, it ruled out the possibility that I was dreaming about... well, being in close quarters with her.

JKR: Yes, but-

Harry: She dragged me away from a date with Cho Chang. Hmm...

JKR: Yes, but-

Harry: I didn't really care what she said about Cho, anyway. My first reaction was to claim that she is not ugly. And she isn't. Like, didn't you see Hermione's... er, figure in that blue dress?

JKR: Yes, but-

Harry: I only wish we'd cuddled after rescuing Sirius-

Hermione: Oh, Harry-

JKR: But-

Harry: Ever bothered to count the times when you made her "whisper" and "breath" in my ear?

JKR: Yes, but... you consider her a sibling, don't you?

Harry: Do I?

JKR: ...

Harry: ...

Hermione: ...

*Much later, a disgruntled Ron joins their midst*

Harry: So... you're pairing me with Ginny in the sixth book, after all. What a bummer.

Ron: Tough luck, mate.

JKR: I am. Sorry for the disappointment, but I do think you'd fit better in some ways-

Ron: Well... I'd end up with Hermione, I reckon. Won't I, Rowling?

JKR: Mrs. Rowling, Ronald. And yes, you will.

Ron: That's a relief.

Harry: Yeah, so long as there are no cringey chest monsters or anything...

Ron: Of course not. That's so unrealistic, everyone knows that.

JKR: (sips some more tea)

Hermione: I wonder at what point we'd snog. After a Quidditch match, I suppose. I mean, it makes so much sense for me to be appreciative of Ron's talents, now that you've made him win the Cup last time-

JKR: You've jumped the gun. No one said you'd be snogging.

Harry: But you said they'd be togeth-

JKR: In a manner of speaking. You'd spend at least half the book arguing, though.

Ron: What!? You've got to make her say I'm fanciable or something, it's been five bloody years! At least let me tell a teacher that she's the best in our year! I'd defended Hermione against Snape, after all.

JKR: You aren't the only Gryffindor sixth-year, Ron. What do you think Harry's there for?

Harry: She... she'll tell me that I'm fanciable?

JKR: Yes.

Ron: 'Platonically', of course.

JKR: Correct. As we all know, young Harry thinks of her like a-

Harry: Don't you dare fuel that lie again.

Hermione: Then when are we kissing?

JKR: Near the end of the last book. You'd be in the middle of a... well, I'd rather not give away any spoilers. But it'd basically consist of you and Ron helping Harry out with something.

Hermione: Obviously.

Ron: Yeah, I wouldn't ever ditch my best friend.

JKR: Er.... you will, though. You'd have a row. Don't worry, I'm not planning to polish you off or anything.

Hermione: That makes sense. And I'd pine for Ron, won't I? I'm sure Harry and I would be totally dysfunctional together, that should give you an opening to-

JKR: In the beginning. Actually, both of you would adjust just fine after a while. Just make sure you don't trip on the kissing gate, dear.

Ron: ...

Harry: (stares incredulously at the woman who made him live in a cupboard for years)

Ron: You're so partial to Fred and George, though... they're raking in Galleons.

JKR: Ah, yes, I'm glad you mentioned the rest of your family. Hermione, I want you to twist around in your seat and smile at Harry, all right? While the three of you are at Bill and Fleur's wedding, I mean. A sparkle of tears in your eyes won't go amiss, either. Ron, you'd better be seated between them.

Hermione (squeals): T-twist around and beam at Harry? During a wedding!?

Ron: No way, my girlfriend would never do that! You can't make her!

Harry: You sure you aren't hitching us together?

Ron: Yeah, your writing's getting so predictable now.

Hermione: It'd be such a surprise if-

JKR: ... if the text doesn't give the impression that Harry's held your hand after exiting Dumbledore's office, yes