#Those look like hamburger buns

[angiestown]

[worldlxvlys]

Can you write a fic based on Wednesdays video and we notice he not wearing underwear and it’s visible -don’t know how to explain it well🫣

distracted

chris sturniolo x reader

warnings: smutttt, p in v, cream pie, unprotected sex, fantasizing, choking, oral (male receiving), handjob, degradation

a/n: @sophssturn also requested something very similar but my dumbass accidentally deleted the request 😭

hope you enjoy !!

i swear i wasn’t looking on purpose.

ok, that’s a straight lie.

but it’s almost as though he wanted me to look, he knew exactly what he was doing.

he wore those grey sweats, which he knew made me go crazy.

and to top it off, he decided not to wear any underwear ? what a slut.

he knew good and damn well that he was too big to be walking around without any boxers on.

and to do it while he was filming ? when he knew there was nothing i could say or do about it ? yeah, he knew exactly what he was doing.

i was sitting behind the camera, watching as he cooked burgers for everyone.

every time he moved just a little too quickly, his dick would press against his light-colored sweatpants, the outline of his bulge showing.

of course i was aware of how big he was, but that didn’t mean the entire internet need to know too.

as i continued to stare at him, my eyes scanned over his entire body, imagining him in a completely different scenario.

instead of his wrists flicking with every flip of a burger, they were straining against a restraint, and i was watching him squirm desperately under me.

his pretty mouth was being suffocated under the weight of my body, while my aching heat was shoved in his face.

instead of the oil from the cooked meat dripping down his hands, it was a layer of my arousal decorating his long fingers.

when he threw his head back, moaning at the taste of the hamburger, i imagined him moaning my name while i bounced on his-

“helloooo? did you hear me?” chris asked, pulling me back to reality.

“oh, sorry. i was distracted” i answered, now realizing that everything was cleaned up, and matt and nick had already went off to do whatever.

in front of me sat a hamburger, placed perfectly between two buns on a plate.

“distracted by what?” he asked as he watched me take a bite of the food.

i took a minute to finish chewing before answering, “what do you think?” i deadpanned, watching as he looked at me in confusion.

“you seriously don’t know?” i asked, continuing to eat the burger.

when i finished, he pointed to my mouth, “you have a little..” he trailed off as he collected a bit of juice that dribbled down my lips from the meat.

before he could do anything else, i grabbed his finger, looking up at him as i licked the small bit of liquid from his finger.

he stared at me with his mouth hanging open slightly, before i let go of his hand.

“ tastes good” i spoke to him, making him whine in response.

i reached forward, palming him through his sweats, making him moan out in surprise.

“tell me, what did you think was gonna happen?” i asked as my hand made its way into his sweatpants.

“i- fuck, i don’t know” his head fell back as he whispered, hands gripping my waist.

“yes, you do chris. you did it for a reason, what is it ?” i asked as i left a light kiss to the shell of his ear.

i didn’t get an answer as i began to stroke his length.

i squeezed his base lightly, making him groan in response.

“answer me or i’ll make you cum in your pants out here like the dirty slut you are”

“shit” he breathed out raggedly, attempting to compose himself, “i wanted you to fuck me”

“you could’ve just asked baby”

“but i-“ he shuddered the feeling of my hands continuously squeezing him, “i need it rougher”

at those words, i pulled my hand from his pants, “say fucking less” i spoke as i grabbed his hand, pulling him to his room.

when we got there, i closed and locked the door behind us, before pushing him into it roughly.

“talk to me chris. tell me what you want” i spoke.

“ i told you already, i-” i brought my hand to his throat, squeezing it slightly.

“excuse me?” i asked him, eyebrows raised.

his eyes widened slightly, his gaze dropping to my lips. “try that again” i told him.

“i need you to fuck me” he whispered. “louder” i spoke.

“need you to fuck me” he spoke, his voice slightly raised.

“louder”

“they’re gonna hear-” he started before i cut him off, “i don’t really give a fuck. you wanna act like a little bitch in heat ? i’ll treat you like one, say it louder”

“please, please fuck me. need you to fuck me so bad” he spoke up, whining desperately.

“was that so hard?” i asked, tilting my head to the side.

i slid my hand up to grab his jaw, pulling his face toward mine into a heated kiss.

my hands wove into his hair, harshly tugging on his brown locks while his found their way around my waist.

i swallowed his moans as my lips danced along his greedily.

i ran my hands down his clothed chest, letting my fingertips toy with the hem of his shirt.

he took the hint, pulling away for a second to pull his shirt off, before his lips found their way back to mine.

my hands explored the new skin, running along his chest before stopping at his waistband.

i teasingly rubbed his stomach, fingers brushing the waistband but never moving past it.

he pulled away to speak, his mouth slightly open, “don’t tease”

i raised my eyebrows at him, grabbing him by his arm and guiding him to sit on the bed.

“maybe if you weren’t walking around without any underwear on, i’d listen to you” i spoke as i sunk down to my knees in front of him.

his eyes widened slightly as i left a kiss to his clothed dick.

he looked down at me with hooded eyes, watching as i slowly pulled his sweatpants down.

his hard dick slapped his stomach, pre-cum dripping onto his abs.

chris’s breathing sped up in anticipation, his hands clutching the sheets underneath him.

i placed my hands on his thighs, keeping them pulled apart while i leaned forward, collecting his arousal with my tongue.

i started at his stomach, licking at the small beads of arousal, before swirling my tongue around his tip.

“fuck” he breathed out, his head instantly flying back.

“talk to me, baby. you feeling good ?” i asked him.

CHRIS’S POV

“yes, feels so good” i whispered, brows furrowing as she teased me.

she brought the palm of her hand to my tip, rubbing me in quick, circular motions.

my hips jerked up at the feeling, my mind growing fuzzy at the amount of pleasure that coursed through me.

“you think you deserve to cum ?” she asked, looking up at me through her lashes.

she pulled her hand off of me suddenly, deciding to tease me more.

my mouth hung open, but i was unable to form any words as my mind was consumed with her.

her hands, running up my thighs, but always stopping just before her fingers could graze my dick.

her face, glaring up at me with that look in her eyes that told me i was going to be gone by the end of tonight.

her lips, so plump, curved to fit around my dick perfectly.

“please, i need your mouth” i whined as she moved her face closer to me, her breath tickling my painfully hard cock.

“yeah? well i need you to learn how to listen” she spoke, moving away from me.

if there was one thing she loved to do, it was tease me. she wanted to push me to my limits until i lost it.

and she knew exactly how to get me there.

“ok, ok, i’m sorry. please, please, i need your mouth so bad”

ignoring my pleas, she pulled her shirt over her head.

“you never answered my question earlier, chris” she spoke.

her words went in one ear and out the other, however, when i saw what she was wearing underneath her clothes.

“fuck” i groaned out at the site of the black lace that adorned her skin.

the bra had a low cut, her tits sitting perfectly in the cups.

the bottom left little to the imagination, the lips of her pussy hugging the small string of fabric that barely covered it.

“do you deserve to cum?” she repeated her question from earlier, tilting her head at me.

“yes” i spoke quickly, desperate to have her in any way i could.

“i don’t know, you didn’t answer me the first time” she spoke, moving to straddle my waist.

“guess i’ll take that as a no” she spoke as my hands found their was to her hips.

“cum before i tell you and i swear to god i’ll edge you until you start crying” she spoke firmly as she lined herself up with my dick.

“f-fuck” i groaned at the feeling of her pussy sucking up my sensitive tip.

i held her close to me while she continued to take me inch by inch, until her hips met mine.

when i bottomed out, we both let out moans of content.

she began to roll her hips into mine slowly, before bouncing on my cock.

i watched as her covered tits bounced in my face with every one of her harsh movements on top of me.

i squeezed her hips tightly, needing something to grab onto as she found her rhythm.

her tight pussy continued to squeeze me, each pull of her hips pushing me deeper and deeper into a euphoric state.

“g-god, feels so good” i groaned out, watching her eyes light up at the praise.

“yeah?” she asked, grabbing my jaw to pull my face closer to hers.

“fuck yes, you’re so good to me baby” i spoke against her lips.

she ground her hips down against mine as she pressed a fervent kiss to my lips, her fingers finding their way back to my hair.

when i pulled away, i left kisses on her neck, making my way down to her boobs.

“so beautiful” i whispered up to her.

“hmm, so sweet to me” she spoke, “but i’m still not letting you cum” she pushed my chest, making me fall back onto the bed.

she laid her hands on my chest, using it as leverage to increase her speed on top of me.

“you look so good on top of me like this” i groaned out.

i was barely holding it together, something about the way she took control made me lose my mind.

“i’m so close” i whined as the sounds of our skin slapping against each other’s filled the room.

“well that sucks for you then, huh ?” she asked as she brought her hand to my throat, lightly choking me.

my eyes rolled into the back of my head at the action, my fingers digging into her thighs.

“i- please, i need it, need it so bad” i struggled to form a logical sentence as she leaned back, placing her hands on my thighs.

“oh my g-god” i moaned, desperately trying to hold back my orgasm.

“wait until i tell you” she spoke, moving my head to look at her.

i glanced down to where our bodies met, getting lost in the way her glistening pussy engulfed my dick.

i could’ve came from the sight alone.

“please, please, please” i repeated the word like it was a chant, knowing i wouldn’t be able to hold off for much longer.

“i’m almost there, baby. so close, just hold on a little bit longer for me”

my head flew back when she clenched around me, eliciting a loud moan from me.

“fuck, let go for me chris. let it all out” she moaned as she continued to clench around me.

i sat up to close the distance between us, wrapping my arms around her waist to hold her close to me.

my legs began to shake, my abdominal muscles tightening as i was hit with a shockwave of pleasure.

my hips bucked up into her, making her moan while i shot my load into her weeping hole.

“fuck chris, right there ! right there” she cried out as i unintentionally thrusted into her, my cock buried as deep as it could go inside of her.

she let out one last moan as i felt her release all over me, my dick coated in her pleasure.

my body went limp underneath her, letting her take control as she worked us through our highs.

once we both calmed down, she lifted herself off of me slowly, before making her way to my bathroom.

when she returned, she held two towels in either hand; one wet and one dry.

she gently rubbed the wet towel against my skin, cleaning up the sticky substance that resided from our previous orgasms.

“are you ok my love? did i hurt you?” she asked me while she continued to clean me up.

she took the second towel, drying my wet skin while i answered, “no baby. i’m ok” i smiled lightly at her.

“good” she answered before finishing up, and doing the same for herself.

she discarded the towels in the hamper before coming back over to me.

“wanna take a shower?” she asked as her hands found their way to my waist, rubbing light circles into it.

“yeah” i spoke as i went to stand up, immediately halting my movements when it felt like my legs were going to give out.

“what’s wrong?” she asked, noticing the way i quickly sat back down.

“my legs are…” i trailed off, searching for a word that wouldn’t make the effect she had on me so obvious.

i didn’t need to feed her ego any more than i already had.

it was no use, though, as she picked up on what was happening.

“you can’t walk ?” she asked, a smug grin growing on her face.

“shut up” i spoke, shaking my head at her.

“awww, it’s ok baby, i’ll take care of you” she spoke, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

she went to help me up before pausing, “want me to pick you up?” she teased.

🦢🦢🦢🦢

masterlist

tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @chrisstopherfilmed @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @sturniolololover @meg-sturniolo @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07 @breeloveschris @evieolo @riasturns @sturnssmuts @nicksmainbitch @luverboychris

[dailyfoodlovers]

All I'm saying is the 18+ food porn channel is in total disarray since we let that "cannibalism is the ultimate act of love" couple into the server. And If I see his unbleached asshole shoved between two hamburger buns spread out and marked up with sharpie under one of my famous "these fried eggs look like boobs with a nipple" posts im banning everyone from MY server and I'm calling the FBI on those death obsessed dog boys

[drama-glob]

Just some of the funny highlights from Ragatha working her last hour at Spudsy's. ;) Those hamburger buns do look comfortable to lay on. ;)

It's certainly sad though seeing Gangle be a statue as she's stuck in her own thoughts and feelings while the hijinks of Ragatha being high/drunk continue. :( I love that Zooble shows genuine concern for both of them but especially Gangle as they leave. <3<3<3

I must admit though:

I do have some concerns that Ragatha may abuse that stupid sauce since it appears she took that bottle of it back to the circus and the effects are certainly long-lasting and likely addictive given the NPC's comment. O_O It'd also be interesting if it winds up being needed to save the day like if Caine glitches out real bad or if it's to subdue someone that may abstract. :/

[meggannn]

if you are a famous pizza joint and over the years you cook me several pizzas I fall in love with, and then over time you suddenly rebrand to only make hamburgers, I like hamburgers on occasion, but it’s weird if you still call it a pizza

I didn’t get used to coming to your store for hamburgers. in fact your previous owners established a really good reputation for making pizza and I don’t necessarily believe you can make good hamburgers cause you don’t have the best track record with rebranding to other things. you tried to make conveyor belt sushi that one time and it sent some people to the hospital so I get very nervous when you start experimenting.

then your chefs take to social media and start saying “those old critically acclaimed pizzas of ours that you loved so much always had some bad flavors, so in our new hamburgers, we actually tried hard to make the tomatoes taste good. these hamburgers are the Best We’ve Ever Done, You Should Preorder Our Hamburgers”

you are now boasting about how delicious your patties are. now I tried your sliders one time a few years ago out of boredom and they were fine, it wasn’t really for me, but whatever. and now I notice how the first people in line for your hamburgers today are talking about how they can’t wait to rip off the buns and all the other toppings and lick their patty’s bald head till it says “oooh I never should've left you, vhenan, oooh.” i’m mostly a vegetarian these days anyway. please stop talking about patties. I don’t fucking care you brought over the same plates and wallpaper and fishtank when you redesigned your restaurant. for $60 I want to eat a good pizza. even a pizza-flavored hamburger. is there anything on this menu that will suit me?

then I go online to see if anyone else feels the same nervousness. and I meet several other people who say yeah, this is not pizza, the only good pizza they’ve ever made was back when they made only margherita; some others who say yeah it’s weird, but I like hamburgers so it’s whatever; several other critics are just bigots who stand outside the store lobbing feces at the windows because this store also serves rainbow-colored pizza-hamburgers; and several others who say removing the cheese from the pizza-hamburger isn’t actually that big a deal, and neither is removing the tomatoes, or the bread, or the sauce, because enjoying pizza is about the Experience and the Ambiance, so they’re going to love this hamburger anyway because come on, it’s the pizza joint! the classic pizza joint! don’t you miss eating their classic pizzas?? now I have never straight-up told anyone to not buy the hamburgers, and yet when I or anyone else mentions missing when this place served pizza, I get alluded to as a pizza tourist with intentions on par with the aforementioned poo-slingers.

if I then see reviews have come out with video footage they even the tomatoes, which are a commonly agreed element in both pizza and hamburgers, are no longer is up to the quality of any acceptable hamburger joint much less this pizzeria in its heyday, it’s gonna ruin my appetite for your hamburgers entirely, much less anything else that comes out of that kitchen. that was the ONE connective tissue between pizza and hamburgers that I cared about; the one thing that everyone looks forward to from you, specifically, even. and if some folks say “hey, even if this is a hamburger joint, it’s a bad sign that these tomatoes look like they’ve been dug out of the garbage and cut by a nine-year-old, and I worry because I don’t want to see you on the internet later complaining about food poisoning, god forbid, or worse, telling people that mild food poisoning is part of the experience,” I think it’s baffling that people shoot back with “why don’t you buy the hamburger before judging if it has food poisoning for yourself?” as if you and I don't deserve better for sixty goddamn dollars than to have to guess whether a hamburger with a dead fly in it is going to ruin our weekend.

look, even if I weren’t very bitter about my favorite pizza joint changing, I think that people who like hamburgers also deserve a better foodie experience for their time and money, no matter what it is, and we are lying to ourselves if we say all the basic ingredients of pizza never really mattered and everything was just window dressing for like, all those decorative background plates and wallpaper that one guy designed 20 years ago. that one guy is still arguing with fans of his old pizzeria on twitter ten years after he even left the place, so I don’t really care what he thinks.

this restaurant’s menu items, whether pizza or hamburger, costs $60 and take several dozens of hours to sit at your restaurant and enjoy. now I have signed up for your dinner experience in the past despite my wariness and been proven wrong, because enjoying your enormous, delicious pizza for hours has been a highlight of my food experiences since I even started calling myself an #eater. even if I dislike how you’ve used some anchovies or chicken bbq toppings in the past, I actually enjoyed when you changed my other favorite menu item into tacos earlier, even if the taco’s faces looked kinda funny.

and I’m sure your staff worked very hard on these hamburgers under extreme conditions; maybe you had Jeremy Allen White screaming HANDS HAIRSTYLES in your ear back there for 10+ years, and that sucks. while I have not forgotten that you axed several of your line cooks (who designed the recipes you’re now serving) just before the finish line, I am sympathetic that this is a make-or-break moment for your restaurant. you’ve borrowed too much money from Uncle Jimmy and if this doesn’t work, we might not see you stay open for long. I do not want that to happen.

but i do not owe this place my patronage just because they still call themselves a pizza joint. they changed too many menu items. I am no longer their ideal clientele. I don’t have all the time and money in the world to waste on hamburgers I know will make me unhappy and I’m tired of being alluded to as a “tourist” for sharing my concerns about the future of one of my favorite restaurants.

so with a very heavy heart, I realized that I’ve kind of... outgrown this pizza-hamburger joint. I don’t care if the hamburger patty gets redeemed anymore. just across the street, supergiant’s gyro truck is putting out ten times the quality that I see from your hamburgers while also providing excellent weekly menu changes based on customer feedback, and metaphor refantazio’s pizzeria is just standing there as a quiet restaurant of the year contender, and oh hey, is lego horizon adventures opening next month? and literally any of those are looking like a wonderful palate cleanser to all of... this.

[katzkinder]

Put too much dijon on my burger (again) so now you get burger headcanons. Yeah. I know.

Mahiru: simple and classic hamburger. Rare instance where he prefers premade over doing it himself because a pound of ground chuck makes So Many Patties and he’s just one person. This changes though when he has more people over than ever, especially because it means he can tailor the fat content and ingredients to Misono’s more delicate body so his friend can enjoy a good old burger too. LOVES the Alicein cookouts for giving him access to a fancy outdoor grill.

Kuro: children’s Cheeseburger from WacDonald’s because the onions come pre diced lmao. His only request is that they hold the mustard. The type of person who likes to open his burger up and stuff french fries on it

Sakuya: bacon cheeseburger. He used to get a fried egg on top but one time Belkia said it looked like a pimple ready to be popped and Sakuya can no longer eat it that way. It’s for the best; he never managed to not be messy with the yolk

Tsubaki: veggie burger with avocado and grilled onion. Yes he’s picky about it. Yes he’s a pain in the ass about it too. Yes, Shamrock will make it from scratch for him

Belkia: Meat! meat! Meat! Wagyu beef or bust! Swiss cheese and mushrooms cooked in the beef fat are a must!

Otogiri: you ever seen those crazy burgers with stir fried noodles piled on top? Yeah

Mikuni: eats fast food with surprising regularity. He likes Wanda’s* when it comes to chains, but mom and pop diners always serve the best of the best he’s ever had. They’re so greasy though…

Jeje: Does not like to eat burgers. Will steal mikuni’s fries or onion rings, though

Ildio: do I even need to say it. Bigger is better and the more toppings the more he loves it. Frankly, though, he’s learning to actually enjoy his food instead of inhaling it. Give him time to figure out what he actually likes.

Nicco: like Mahiru, wants to keep it simple. Loves heirloom tomatoes and bread and butter pickles.

Lawless: prosciutto and avocado on a fresh ground patty cooked medium rare. Roasted tomato slice, garlic pepper, and a focaccia bun. Did you expect anything less?

Licht: Basic and familiar WacDonald’s is his go to. Reminds him of late night concerts and the satisfaction of a job well done

Anyone else have some ideas??

*Wanda’s, the servamp equivalent of Wendy’s

[midnightsunnyday]

Asmodeus's (very short) Dilemma

Mammon: Asmo. Asmo. Hey, Asmo.

Asmodeus: huh?

Mammon: you've been staring down into your coffee all morning.

Asmodeus: really? Hmmm.

Mammon, older sibling mode activated: ok, what's wrong? Tell your big bro all about it.

Asmodeus: oh, Mammon, what should I do? I'm the Avatar of Lust. People are suppose to be infatuated with me, not the other way around!

Mammon: uh...say what now?

Asmodeus: I thought I could deal with it, you know? But I can't stand it! I won't stand it! Why am I just the friend? I'm everything that anyone could ever want. My looks. My figure. My inviting personality. Yet I'm relegated to the side like...like...last seasons Bath and Body candles!

Lucifer: Asmo, it's seven in the morning. Please cease with your insistent whining.

Asmodeus: but I'm saaaaad. 

Lucifer: *sighs*

Belphegor: so that's who sounds like a dying cat.

Satan: couldn't you have chosen a different comparison? Now I'm sad.

Beelzebub: what's wrong, Asmo? Did the Ducci store run out of spider silk sweaters?

Asmodeus: no, it's even worse. I think....I think...I think I might be in love.

Leviathan: with someone else?

Asmodeus: yes!

Mammon: did ya look in the mirror today?

Asmodeus: I did. Even at my saddest, I'm still gorgeous.

Lucifer: did you take your ritual morning selfie?

Asmodeus: uh-huh. And it's just as amazing as the last one.

Beelzebub: ...want me to slap you? 

Asmodeus: what?

Beelzebub: the quickest way to get over someone is to have someone slap you. It brings you back to your senses. At least that's what they do on TV.

Belphegor: Beel, for the last time, those are actors. They're suppose to be dramatic. Asmo, on the other hand...

Asmodeus: and ruin my perfect cheeks? Absolutely not!

Lucifer: this is ridiculous. Asmo, there's nothing wrong with the way you feel. The fact that you're even feeling it means you've matured. Honestly, I never thought I'd see the day. 

Asmodeus: I'm losing my touch.

Beelzebub: well, you know what they say, to get over someone you gotta get on top of someone else.

Satan: how do you...do you even know what that means, Beel?

Beelzebub: getting on top of someone else...like a bun, right? A hamburger bun...

Belphegor: and we lost him.

Asmodeus: no, Beel is right. I think. How could I've been so silly? Here I am crying when I should just be honest with myself and go after what I want. Naturally, of course.

MC: hey guys. What's going--

Asmodeus: MC, I love you. Go out with me.

MC: hmmm, ok.

Everyone: WHAT?

Asmodeus: yay!

[timechange]

MCFLY JULY ‘24 — campfire.

NOVEMBER 9, 1985

The forest is full of music.

There’s a bird somewhere, singing— a nightingale? Maybe a mockingbird?— over the steady lapping of the lake. A few frogs croak out some kind of harmony alongside the snapping and popping of the wood from the campfire.

As the smoke curls around her, Jennifer sits in a hoodie that used to be his, her chocolate brown hair draped over her shoulder, her half-lidded eyes sparkling in the starlight as hums and strums a rendition of “Annie’s Song.” Her hand squeaks the fretboard and neck of her guitar as she shifts chords and Marty doesn’t think he’s ever heard a sweeter sound.

He doesn’t take his eyes off her as he breathes in the coolness of damp earth and leaf mulch and the warm heat of the smoke. He breathes out, wishing the weight he’s been carrying around would fall away as easily and as softly as lakewater running off his shoulders.

At least out here, surrounded by what feels like a million stars and a million trees in the place he loves maybe more than anywhere else (other than Doc’s garage, or at least what it used to be, and that little used to be rips a huge, gaping hole straight through his chest), everything seems a little more faraway.

The forest is full of memories, too.

Dave throwing him in the lake, how summer always smelled like Dad burning the hamburger buns, jumping off the rope swing with Linda, Mom bursting out laughing when he put the pail on his head as a hat when he was really little and she was helping him build a sandcastle. Midnight kick the can and manhunt with the guys, scaring themselves stupid with ghost stories.

As vivid and real as they seem now, he imagines them all fading away just like the fire’s dimming embers. He’ll try to keep them burning as long as he can, stirring them into life, putting more kindling on and hoping a flame catches, but he’s the only one who remembers anymore. What’ll happen after?

“Hey,” Jennifer calls softly, and he looks up from the ground to see her watching him. “What’re you thinking about?”

“…Nothin’, really,” Marty says with a shrug and a small smile. “Just… I love you, Jen. Y’know?”

“I know,” she smiles, scooching closer to lean her head on his shoulder. “And I love you.”

He wraps an arm around her and sighs.

“It’s gonna be okay, Marty,” she tells him, softly. “I know it.”

He doesn’t even stop to wonder how she sees right through him. It’s one of those Jennifer Elizabeth Parker things he’s long since accepted.

“What, did Doc take you on a joyride without me?” he jokes instead.

She giggles.

“No. But I know you, and I know me. It’s gonna be okay. Alright?”

“…Alright.”

[sfarticles]

Get creative with veggie burgers

Check out my latest column

The unofficial start of summer passed last weekend, which means grilling season has begun, at least it has here in the Northeast.

Baked Falafel Burgers. You’ll be amazed at how vibrant the flavors are, how the parsley and lemon shine through. (Photo by Evi Abeler)

A juicy hamburger, a perfectly cooked steak, ribs, BBQ chicken or grilled hot dogs come to mind most often when one thinks of grilling or barbecue. However, if you have guests who are vegetarian or vegan, these menu items simply won’t do. A mass-produced packaged veggie burger is what most of us think is all that’s available to serve them.

With plant-based diets on the rise, we need to be creative in what to offer at a barbecue get-together. There are freshly made options available at the ready food counter at markets, and there is a bounty of delectable recipes to prepare at home.

As I have been trying to incorporate more vegetables in my diet, when dining out, trying chef-driven innovative varieties of veggie burgers is part of the fun. Those that don’t make the mark are when the restaurant purchases them ready-made and frozen. The times I have really enjoyed one, the chef put creative thought into the dish.

I am always on the lookout for tasty recipes for veggie burgers. When I saw the front cover of “Veggie Burgers Every Which Way: Fresh, Flavorful & Healthy Plant-Based Burgers” by Lucas Volger (2023, The Experiment, $25.95), I got hungry looking at the beautiful and hearty burger.

What also caught my attention was the back cover that says, “Veggie burgers for veggie lovers and curious carnivores alike.”

In his preface the author writes, “I’ve never been very excited about a veggie burger that tastes like meat. My perspective in this book was, and continues to be, that veggie burgers should be creative expressions of vegetables.”

Interestingly, the vegans I know are not interested nor excited about Beyond or Impossible burgers because they, too, aren’t looking for the texture and taste of  meat. On the other hand, there are carnivores that choose to go meatless every so often and replace a meat burger with something that closely replicates it.

Once considered a hippie food … where did the creation begin? As with most food items or dishes, there are a few claims as to its founding. There’s one that was mentioned several times in my research.

It was in London in 1982 when Gregory Sams, a nutritionist, invented the first commercially made veggie burger he called VegeBurger. It was a dry mix packet. Fast-forward several decades, and the humble veggie burger has been elevated.

Volger’s book, with unique, delicious recipes tailored to a variety of diets (over half are vegan and/or gluten free), will excite each palate and suit every craving at this summer’s barbecues. The book is all-encompassing, with chapters on bean and grain burgers; vegetable burgers; tofu, seitan and TVP burgers; burger buns; sides; salads and fries; condiments and toppings. Volger also shares his universally fail-safe cooking methods.

So, move over freezer patties and faux meats and welcome Baked Falafel Burgers (recipe below); Spicy Peanut and Carrot Burgers (recipe below); Quinoa, Red Bean and Walnut Burgers (recipe at  https://bit.ly/3Vipgo4); Sesame Sweet Potato and Cabbage Burgers; Corn Burgers With Sun-Dried Tomatoes and Goat Cheese; Tofu and Chard Burgers; and Tortilla-Crusted Stuffed Portobello Burgers.

Baked Falafel Burgers

Vegan, gluten free

Makes four 4-inch burgers

The headnote says: “In this falafel method, the chickpeas are soaked overnight but not cooked. (If we were deep-frying the burgers rather than baking them, this would be the traditional falafel method.) Store-bought falafel mixes — many of which are wonderful — use ground, unsoaked dried beans, but I find that the soaking makes for a significantly less dense, more tender falafel. The mixture is a bit more delicate than other burgers in this book, but you’ll be amazed at how vibrant the flavors are, how the parsley and lemon shine through. Serve with Cucumber Yogurt Sauce, Tahini Yogurt Sauce or plain tahini along with a squirt of sriracha, as a nod to the street food that fed me throughout my college years. Unfortunately, cooked chickpeas will not work in this recipe; there will be too much liquid and the burgers will fall apart as they cook.”

Ingredients:

1 cup dried chickpeas, rinsed thoroughly

1 onion, roughly chopped

2 garlic cloves

½ cup roughly chopped fresh parsley

Zest of 1 lemon plus juice of ½

1 tablespoon toasted cumin seeds

½ teaspoon baking soda (GF)

¾ teaspoon salt

½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper

1 tablespoon chickpea or all-purpose flour, if needed

Olive oil, for greasing

Directions:

Cover the chickpeas with 4 to 5 inches of water in a bowl and let stand for 24 hours. Drain thoroughly. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

Combine the chickpeas, onion, garlic, parsley, lemon zest and juice, cumin, baking soda, salt, pepper and cayenne in a food processor. Pulse until coarsely combined. If the mixture is struggling to come together, add a bit of water, but no more than 2 tablespoons. (The burgers will fall apart when cooking if there’s too much liquid.) If water is added, stir in the chickpea flour. Adjust seasonings. Shape into 6 patties, about 1/3 cup each. It will be a fairly wet dough.

Liberally oil a baking sheet. Transfer the patties to the baking sheet and place in the oven. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, flipping them once halfway through, until golden and firm. Serve warm.

Spicy Peanut and Carrot Burgers. Peanut butter and a few fragrant aromatics serve to amplify and enhance the carrot, making this another one of those veggie burgers that’s all about the vegetables. (Photo by Christina Heaston)

Spicy Peanut and Carrot Burgers

Makes four 6-inch burgers

The headnote says: “This recipe helped me realize that coarsely shredding hardy vegetables, like carrots, is the secret to creating a vegetable-centric veggie burger — it preserves more of a vegetable’s texture than, say, roasting and puréeing it, and moreover it gives an interesting and varied texture to the finished burger. Peanut butter and a few fragrant aromatics serve to amplify and enhance the carrot, making this another one of those veggie burgers that’s all about the vegetables. A natural peanut butter will deliver a clean peanut flavor, whereas a processed one that has added sugar will be kind of cloying here. I love these paired with a zesty cabbage slaw or some shredded cabbage that’s tossed with a bit of salt and lime juice.”

Ingredients:

3 tablespoons olive oil

4 scallions, green and white parts, thinly sliced

3 garlic cloves, minced

1 tablespoon finely grated fresh ginger

1 serrano chile pepper, finely chopped (and seeded, if desired)

4 cups grated carrots (about 8 medium carrots)

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon ground coriander

¾ teaspoon ground turmeric

½ teaspoon ground cinnamon

1 egg

2 tablespoons natural peanut butter

Zest of 1 lime and juice of ½

¼ cup roughly chopped cilantro

½ cup panko or coarse bread crumbs

Directions:

Heat 1 tablespoon of the oil in a large, lidded sauté pan over medium heat. Add the scallions and cook until they just begin to soften, about 2 minutes. Add the garlic, ginger, and chile and stir for 30 seconds, until fragrant. Stir in the carrots, salt, coriander, turmeric, and cinnamon. Cover and cook for 6 to 8 minutes, until the carrots are soft but not mushy.

In a mixing bowl, whisk together the egg, peanut butter, lime zest and juice. Stir in the carrot mixture and the cilantro. Fold in the panko. Let stand for about 10 minutes, so the panko soaks up some of the moisture. Adjust seasonings. Shape into 4 patties, about 1/3 cup each.

To cook, warm a wide skillet over medium heat, then add the remaining oil. Add as many burgers as will fit comfortably without crowding the pan (usually 3 burgers will fit into a 10-inch, and cook until browned and crisped on the bottom, 5 to 7 minutes, then flip and repeat on the other side. The burgers will firm up a bit as they cook, and further once they’re removed from the heat and have cooled slightly. Serve warm.

Watermelon and Citrus Salad. Make this salad when watermelon is at its peak, sugar-sweet and juicy. (Photo by Evi Abeler)

Watermelon and Citrus Salad

Vegan, gluten free

Makes 4 servings

The headnote says: “Make this salad when watermelon is at its peak, sugar-sweet and juicy. I prefer basil to the fresh mint typically used in watermelon salad, but feel free to use mint instead.”

Ingredients:

Vinaigrette:

¼ cup fresh orange juice

Juice of 1 lime

1 tablespoon red or white wine vinegar

Mustard

1 shallot, sliced into rings

¼ teaspoon salt

¼ teaspoon ground white pepper

Directions:

To make the vinaigrette, combine the orange juice, lime juice, vinegar, mustard, shallot, salt and pepper in a small bowl or jar. Let stand for 10 minutes.

Salad:

2 oranges

6 cups watermelon, cut into 1-inch cubes

¾ cup thinly sliced fresh basil

½ cup toasted sliced or slivered almonds

½ cup crumbled feta cheese (optional)

Olive oil, for drizzling

Directions:

Slice off the top and bottom ends of the oranges and place the flat bottom on a cutting board. With a sharp chef ’s knife, cut off the peel in strips all the way around the orange, following the curve of the fruit. Slice the oranges into ¼-inch-thick rounds.

Arrange the watermelon and orange over a platter, then drizzle with the vinaigrette. Just before serving, garnish with the basil, almonds and feta cheese, if using, and drizzle with olive oil.

Recipes from “Veggie Burgers Every Which Way, Second Edition: Fresh, Flavorful, and Healthy Plant-Based Burgers — Plus Toppings, Sides, Buns, and More” by Lukas Volger, 2010, 2023. Reprinted by permission of the publisher, The Experiment. Available everywhere books are sold. Website: theexperimentpublishing.com.

Stephen Fries is professor emeritus and former coordinator of the Hospitality Management Programs at Gateway Community College in New Haven, Conn. He has been a food and culinary travel columnist for the past 16 years and is co-founder of and host of “Worth Tasting,” a culinary walking tour of downtown New Haven. He is a board member of the International Association of Culinary Professionals. Email him at Stephen@stephenfries.com. For more, go to stephenfries.com.

[vindieselsfacebook-blog]

Ranking 7 photos algorithmically served to me attempting to aesthetically stage a Gilmore Girls rewatch

7. Coming in dead last is this disgustingly tragic and confusing combination of frozen mini pizzas and what appears to be a stemless wine glass full of orange juice??? positively hanging on for dear life to a thin, cracked cutting board that looks like it started its life in the Target dollar spot. I can't imagine a more nightmarish stain on my bland white sheets or frustrating debris to try and drain from my laptop keyboard than the pukey combination of marinara sauce and sticky juice, nor can I imagine a more depressing excuse for a comfort meal. Praying this person is a 12 year old trying to feel fancy by stealing a stemless wine glass from their mom while they were distracted by an episode of The Bachelor. Also, can we not find a single vibey Ikea lamp to turn on? Not cropping out the cable in the top right corner is an extra ominous choice. Bonus point for the gay sounding caption caught on screen though. 1/10

6. All I can think of looking at this cursed image is innocently uncrossing my legs and flipping the entire set-up over, spilling sugary milky foamy pumpkin coffee all over my twee cotton sheets, crushing burnt cookie crumbs all up in my grill, poopy melted chocolate chip stains everywhere, and setting my fluffy synthetic pillows ablaze. Making sure the food items are resting unwisely on your laptop but straight up nestling two Glade clearance candles right on your bed is extremely unwell behavior. 2/10

5. These cookies look like hamburger buns with jam and I hate thinking of the texture of them in my mouth but at least the hearts are trying and the waffle knit of the blanket looks cozy. The plate looks like it's resting on crossed legs rather than an actual bed this time. Good job with no open flames!!! 3/10

4. This looks like a second attempt from #6 - these cookies look like an upgrade, even down to the cutesy plate. They're livin' on the wild side with black coffee directly on the bed this time, but I guess that's less insane than multiple lit candles. I'm imagining this poor girl applying lipstick to kiss her list of things she loves which include "2000's movies", "stars/moon", and "pretty clothe" and I realize I am mocking a very lonely little girl and now I feel bad. Keep on binging GG, friend, you need it!!! 4/10

3. First off, trying to post ~aesthetic GG content with tea instead of coffee? Who are you, Luke Danes??? Points subtracted immediately. You're expecting me to think you're just casually whipping up a batch of cinnamon rolls, watching GG AND reading a novel? You're either watching or reading, doll, I simply refuse to accept both. That book is stressing me out. Get a bookmark! 4/10

2. I had to really study this one and decide if it was the same person as the previous photo. It may be, but this one features some important upgrades - that mug may possibly be coffee, the gray sweater looks fuzzy and comforting, cute manicure, and the cinnamon rolls are positively drowning in icing which I respect. I am once again judging your casually open book you fucking liar, but I enjoy the natural lighting and practical desktop surface. I refuse to entertain the thought that a GG rewatch can hit even a little bit on a tiny propped up iPad though. Give me a big TV and a couch/bed or nothing. 5/10

Now this is what I'm fucking talking about!!! Commit to the bit, people. This person put their whole pussy into making that delightful looking drink and stuck to the pumpkin theme. There's some pleasant mood lighting going on and I buy that this could be a tablescape rather than a crowded obstacle course on a twin bed. I am actually curious to try one of those cookies and the sweater weather candle is no doubt contributing positive vibes to the room. All precarious items are safely crowded onto a tray. Still hate the iPad but whatever. 8/10

[cvbullshit]

Incorrect Quotes with the Aurora Brumbley AU

Aurora: Why does Jr look so sad?

Draco: He took one of those "Which Character Are You?" quizzes.

Aurora: And...?

Draco: He got Neville.

Aurora: Yo, is Neville sleeping or dead?

Barty Crouch Jr: Hopefully dead, I hated his guts.

Draco: Yeah, so did I.

Neville: Okay, first of all, fuck you-

*The squad is having dinner together*

Vince: Gregory, can you pass the salt?

Goyle: *Throws Connor across the table*

Goyle: I really like this 'good guy, bad guy' thing you guys have going on.

Connor: It's not an act, it's just that I'm mean and Vince isn't.

Goyle, going over Connor's resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you’re creative. Connor: Yes Goyle: Okay... may I know what you create? Connor: Problems.

Goyle: Guys… the headmaster just called— Abby: It was Colin! Colin: It was Ian! Ian: It was Kaylee! Kaylee: It was me!

Goyle: Time for plan G. Abby: Don't you mean plan B? Goyle: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. Ian: What about plan D? Goyle: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. Colin: What about plan E? Goyle: I'm hoping not to use it. Kaylee dies in plan E. Kaylee: I like plan E.

Goyle: What does “take out” mean? Colin: Food. Abby: Dating. Kaylee: Murder. Ian: It can be all three if you're brave enough.

Barty Crouch Jr: Watcha got there..? Aurora: petting a ostrich A smoothie.

Aurora: They don't make them like me no more. I'm the last of my kind. Barty Crouch Jr: Thank god.

Aurora: Go to Hell Barty Crouch Jr, tearing up: I wish I could

Aurora: God, give me patience. Barty Crouch Jr: I think you mean 'give me strength'. Aurora: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

Pansy: Look at the buns on that guy! Barty Crouch Jr: lying on the floor, covered in hamburger buns Goyle:: This is the comedy police! The joke's too funny! Pansy:: I'm not going back to jail!

Pansy: In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity? Barty Crouch Jr: * turning to Goyle* How tall are you?

Pansy: Barty Crouch Jr, I am questioning your sanity… Goyle: I never questioned it, I knew his sanity was missing from the start.

Pansy: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything? Barty Crouch Jr: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital. Pansy: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you. Barty Crouch Jr: But I heard a siren. Moaning Myrtle: That was Peeves. Peeves: Sorry, I got nervous.

Pansy: You're smiling. What happened? Moaning Myrtle: What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it? Peeves: Barty Crouch Jr tripped and fell down the stairs today.

Pansy, about Barty Crouch Jr: Apparently we're getting someone new in the group. Moaning Myrtle: Are we stealing him? Peeves: New or used? Pansy: Wonderful responses, both of you.

Pansy: Screams Barty Crouch Jr: * Screams louder to assert dominance* Moaning Myrtle: Should we do something?! Peeves, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.

Pansy: Count me in! Barty Crouch Jr: Who the hell are you?! Pansy: Oh, you know my sister! She worked at Wendy's. Barty Crouch Jr: Oh yeah, Moaning Myrtle! How is she doing? Pansy: Oh yeah, not too good. She's been dead for the past month. Peeves: What the hell, she didn't tell us!

Pansy: Can I be frank with you guys? Barty Crouch Jr: Sure, but I don't see how changing your name is gonna help. Moaning Myrtle: Can I still be Moaning Myrtle? Peeves: Shh, let Frank speak.

[odder-oddish]

Final October Bingo - Trick or Treat

One last submission. It's still October for me, so it counts for the challenge, at least in my mind.

Summary:

It's Halloween, and not even a silly little fight can get Ace's spirits down. He's exactly where he wants to be.

Nothing but fluff for the final work, based off a silly little idea I had and wanted to make a short fic off of. And for this one, I've decided to include it under the cut, as well as adding the link to the AO3!

Thanks to everyone for sharing their talents this month and @dweetwise for putting the event together. I hope everyone had a great Halloween!

Ace genuinely thinks this might be it for his relationship. Five years in The Fog with Felix, three of those officially together, then two chaotic years since, adjusting to their normal lives, and Felix making the move from Germany to the United States. They've had their ups and downs, disagreements and rough nights like any other couple, but this? This is just unforgivable.

"I can't believe you!" he says, trying to stay calm as he braces both his hands on the kitchen chair, trying not to let his emotions get out of hand. "Like, this is just sick."

Felix stands across the table, arms crossed. He looks equally intense, not willing to back down either. "Ace, you're completely overreacting. It's my decision, not yours. This isn't your problem."

"Look, I get it, it's your choice, but there are just some things that I won't stand for!" he fires back with a huff. "You know, I thought between the two of us, you were the one with good taste."

"And maybe I am. Have you ever considered that maybe, I'm the one who's actually right?"

Ace laughs at that, a cold, emotionless laugh. "About this? No, that's messed up, Felix." He pauses, swaying back and forth on his feet. "I want a divorce."

"We're not even married!"

"And whose fault is that?"

"Are you guys okay?" Jeff's inquisitive tone interrupts their argument, but not for long.

"No, Jeff. Things are terrible. See, Felix here thinks that that-" he gestures wildly at the table. "Is an appropriate Halloween snack."

Jeff follows his pointing hand to the table. Sitting in the center of the kitchen is the culprit of the argument… a half empty bag of candy corn. "So are you two actually fighting?" he asks. Felix responds by shaking his head while Ace responds with an empathic "Yes!"

"You're the one who bought them for me," Felix says, but his tone is much lighter now.

Ace's words still have the same bite to them, but the dramatic flair with which he throws his hands in the air gives away his light-hearted tone. "Because you asked why they were called candy corn, so I showed you how to stack them, not so you'd actually eat them!"

They're interrupted again, this time by two steps of footsteps coming in from the kitchen. It's Elodie with Jonah in tow. "Are you guys still going at it?" he asks, reaching over the table and popping a couple pieces of of candy corn into his mouth. Ace grasps his chest in mock anger as he does.

"Nah, candy corn rocks," Jonah says confidently, and Jeff nods in agreement. Ace scowls at them. He can't believe it. Are all of his friends just… insane now? Did the Entity affect some of them worse than expected?

"What the hell are you talking about? That stuff's disgusting. It's just sugar and food dye," Elodie argues back, and Ace breathes out a sigh of relief. At least one of his friends still has some common sense.

"I don't think this compares to any of the dozens of other weird things you've made me try since I moved here," Felix says.

"Like what?"

"Like at the state fair this summer. You didn't have a problem eating deep fried butter or… or a hamburger with a doughnut for a bun, but candy corn is where you draw the line?"

"Okay, you know what-"

"Felix, wanna go get the fire pit started with me now?" Jonah asks, interrupting Ace and gesturing to the front door.

Ace watches his boyfriend walk out the front of the house before turning back to the kitchen. "I'll get drinks," he says to no one in particular. He opens the fridge, finding the hard ciders that he'd bought when he last went to the store, the same trip where he'd made the mistake of buying Felix candy corn.

Ace is in the process of sliding the drinks into can covers when Jeff comes in to the room to grab the massive bowls of candy that have been waiting for tonight.

"You and Felix aren't actually fighting, right?" Jeff asks, sounding most amused, but slightly concerned.

"Nah, we're all good, just foolin' around," Ace says with an easy smile. "And even if we were, if candy corn is the biggest problem we're having, I'm happy."

Jeff shares in his smile, leaning against the kitchen counter. "I'm glad. I'm happy for all of us, getting out of there, but what the two of you have is special. Real special."

"Yeah, I know."

Ace's slight smile lingers as he finishes getting the drinks out, then he and Jeff join the other three outside. Their driveway has been transformed into a cozy setup. Lawn chairs surround a small fire pit, with carved pumpkins and fake cobwebs adding to the scenery. The five of them decided to do Halloween together this year, preferring each other's company to sitting inside alone and waiting for kids to hand out candy to come by. Last year, Felix and Ace hadn't celebrated Halloween, still too caught up in trying to adjust to the real world after years in the Entity's realm.

Ace considers everyone he lived with in that time family, but the five of them here tonight, they're just a little bit closer. After their escape, they got in contact. Felix had already planned on moving to the States and Elodie, feeling lonely after their escape, followed soon after. They'd settled near where Jonah already was, and Jeff's career as an artist allowed him to live just about anywhere. They'd been ecstatic when he joined them from Canada, their small little circle from the Fog finally complete.

Half an hour before it truly gets dark, the youngest of trick-or-treaters set out, their parents nearby. From toddlers in animal costumes being carried by their parents to younger kids dressed like the different super heroes or witches or other classic costumes, there's a more relaxed vibe to the early evening air.

But as Ace puts candy into the basket of the sixth Disney princess of the night (at least he thinks) he realizes something. Just how many of these costumes he doesn't recognize. It hits him by surprise, the realization on just how much time he's missed out on in this world. Not that he'd paid attention to children's movies, but there are already so many costumes he doesn't quite understand that he would have had his life stayed intact.

It's a feeling that was extremely hard to get over when Ace first returned. He'd been gone for nine years. It wasn't just movies, but sports, politics, music that he'd been behind on. Hell, Ac had missed a damn pandemic, apparently. It had been a strange sort of culture shock, returning to his own home after being so long. Hell, he'd had to learn what a smart fridge is, and was hopelessly behind on technology. It's gotten easier since then, but some things just keep reminding him.

"You alright?" Felix asks from the chair next to him, a warm hand covering Ace's wrist. And suddenly, Ace is much better.

"Yeah, I'm great. Just thinking, we ought to have a movie marathon this weekend, watch a bunch of the stuff we missed while we were…" he stumbles over his words. "Gone."

In a moment, Felix understands. His smile twitches at the corner, growing sympathetic. He squeezes Ace's wrist, saying, "Thinking about what we missed again?" Ace nods, feeling a little numb to it all, but Felix doesn't let go of him. "I know it hurts, sometimes. Try to take it easy on yourself."

"Easier said than done," Ace mutters.

Felix pauses. They've talked about this almost.a hundred times; there's no point in doing it again. Not now. So Felix just smiles and says, "A movie night sounds great."

It takes time, but Ace manages to shake out of his melancholy. It's Halloween, after all, they ought to focus on something else.

Like the absolutely ridiculous, inflatable dinosaur costumes headed their way. Beside them, Jonah barks out a laugh as three people, older kids, from the looks of it, waddle up to get candy. The rest of them share in his laughter as one of them turns around a little too quickly, the costumes tail completely knocking over the bowl of candy on Elodie's lap. The kid is super apologetic, but Elodie waves her off, clutching her sides, laughing, as the kid tries to awkwardly reach down and help scoop up the fallen chocolate bars.

"Don't worry about it," Elodie assures her. "I'll grab them."

The rest of the night goes more easily. As the moon comes out, older kids start to take to the streets. Jeff plays a game with them, throwing pieces of candy into their baskets from long-distance. He starts by throwing them to the sidewalk, then out in the street, then even further. People are happy and laughing.

It's a side of Jeff, really of all of them that Ace never thought he'd see. While they'd always talked about leaving together, spending late nights talking about the first foods they'd have back in the real world, the vacations they'd go on, it had always felt like wishful thinking. Ace had assumed he'd spend the rest of his life… or until he went insane in Trials, in the Fog. But now, now he gets to watch Jeff throw treats at teenagers and argue about candy with Felix. All the mundane stuff he'd never thought he'd care about before the Entity took them. But now, he realizes just how much he needed.

"I'm going to go get another drink," Felix says, holding up his empty can. "Do you want one?"

"I'm good," Ace says, managing to only blush a little when Felix kisses him on the temple before leaving to go inside.

Jeff watches him, with a small smile on his face. "I'm glad to see you happy," he says simply. And Ace appreciates it. Before Felix had arrived in the Entity's realm, Jeff had been the one Ace was drawn to the most. They were the ones who kept each other sane, confided in each other.

Ace looks at the ground for a moment. Thinks about the ring box that's been hidden at the bottom of his sock drawer for a month now, waiting for the right time. "You know, between you and me," he says. "getting taken by the Entity in the first place, I think it was worth it."

Jeff nods, not looking the least bit surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah. If I had to choose between the life I had before, and the one I've got now, after going through all that again, I'd do it in a heartbeat."

Jeff doesn't answer, and he doesn't need to, sharing in Ace's happiness. Ace's smile turns into a dramatic scowl, however, when Felix returns, a new drink in one hand, and the half-full bag of candy corn in the other.

"I take back any nice thing I've said about you. Ever," Ace says dramatically as Felix sits back down, popping the colorful pieces into his mouth. Felix responds extraordinarily maturely, sticking out his tongue at Ace.

They share a laugh, and Felix's hand is back on his wrist. Ace looks down at where they're touching, and wonders what it would look like, seeing a ring on his finger. Soon, he tells himself.

The trick-or-treaters slowly disperse, and eventually, Jonah puts out the fire, and their friends say goodbye. But there's no rush for him or Felix to get up, just continuing to enjoy each other's company. "You know, I wouldn't mind a few more dozen Halloweens, just like this," Ace says, finally breaking the silence.

Felix looks back at him with an easy smile that Ace has only seen since they escaped. He hopes he gets to see it for the rest of his life.

"I'm looking forward to it."

[deada55]

Under the Hood

crossposting: none (gonna see if I like it)

synopsis: Murderface has a little too much fun trying to recognize his bandmates by their bodies (teen and up-style. No porn.)

for kloktober day 3: Mordhaus Costume Ball

It sure is a costume event, it sure is a ball, and it's sure in Mordhaus, but it's a little creative.

Toki’s latest seasonal exploit was convincing everybody to blend in with the hooded masses during an industry cocktail hour they dipped out of for a “planning meeting.” The third time Charles asked what the “planning meeting” was for, Murderface “farted” and had to leave the room… and Charles didn’t ask any more questions.

All five of the band members suited up in hoods and black working clothes and split up across the grounds with the stated objective of finding one another. If you’re found, you have to follow the person or group of people who found you and become part of their “team.” (Toki had found that idea from a pink spiral-bound book of “Just Girly Games” from the thrift store. On second thought, the “hot potato” chant when passing a shot glass would make a great drinking game.) Murderface, with his hair held back with an accordion headband, was hooded and on the hunt, starting with the klokateers doing valet parking. 

They faced out into the receiving area, which was a black canvas tent surrounded by Bentleys, Geneses, and Lambos. William’s eyes tracked from bumper to bumper, rims to the bottom edge of hairy asscheeks in black pants, from paint jobs to picturing what it’d be like to have the workers’ knuckled, black-gloved hands grab more than just keys. The deep black night sky, smooth from the light pollution of Mordhaus’ grounds, made every hood ornament and rugged arm hair sparkle. His beltline got wet from the sweat on his back and he retreated back towards the house. If one of them was Toki, he’d take the L over getting caught staring with a boner trying to bore through his fly. 

In the corridors behind the main reception area, pointed hoods ducked and bobbed in swarms trying to arrange aperitifs and balance garnishes on the poshest bloody red shooters on God’s metal earth. The height of the ceilings made the flocks of heads look even shorter; the flapping of black tablecloths over serving carts slipped above the murmuring and the laughter teeming through the double doors before the main hall. He was silent as Klokateers bumped into his shoulders with mumbled, “Comin’ through”s and “Excuse me”s to keep his anonymity. Looking for the tallest people made the search easier… about thirty feet away from him was a guy who had to be standing around in Nathan and Skwisgaar’s altitude.

But how to know if it was Skwisgaar? He was thin enough, but maybe just a little more svelte vs slight. His back was toned and carved into smooth lines… his shoulder blades stretched his shirt over their corners while he assembled a chocolate fountain. His waist was so sincere and suggestive under that black muscle shirt, begging to be pulled forward or slammed back. This guy’s ass was a little flat to be Skwisgaar’s… or maybe it was too plush? It didn’t look quite right for him, but it was probably handsome, like two paninis made out of exceptionally rectangular White Castle hamburgers, with that sour, gamey smell and the taste that won’t leave your mouth alone… if only he could get a little lick, maybe right where his back turned into those buns, maybe right to the middle looking for a little beef, a little muscle–

William didn’t hear the guy trying to tell him to look out until there was a pyramid of tiny cups of gourmet barbeque sauce coming down on and over him. Stepping back only sent him to the floor in the mess, rolling around like a little piggy until he heard a familiar chuff.

“Dude, are you fucking hard right now?”

Holding an entire tray of stuffed buns in the shape of coiled snakes (with black sesame seeds embedded as scales), Nathan, unhooded, stepped forward out of the crowd of grumbling Klokateers scrambling to save the cups that remained on the cart. 

“What the fuck, man!”

“They said I couldn’t have any if I was working so I just showed them I wasn’t working. But you, Murderface, Jesus Christ… You look like that Stephen King movie with the ginger and the fucking tampons.”

William slid up from the mess and onto his hands and knees, but kept slipping in the sauce until two Klokateers took him by the arms and wouldn’t give in to his fighting. “At least I have Halloween spirit, Nathan! Halloween’s fucking brutal and scary and all that schit!”

“C’mon. Pickles gave up. Skwisgaar probably isn’t playing, and I don’t know what Toki’s doing-”

“Found yous!” One of the Klokateers that had been holding William up snatched his hood off and immediately got strands of his hair stuck to Murderface’s saucy shoulder like a spiderweb.

“Aw, fucking Toki! I could’ve fucking won this game!”

“Dildos! You didn’tst, but you found Nathans! Want to finds Pickle in the kegs room?”

[lostcybertronian]

Egotober - Day 14

Prompt: Time

Prompts by @tracobuttons

---

It was the same, day in, day out. The lights came on at six; if you weren’t quick out of bed for head count, the guards would bang on the bars with their nightsticks and scream at whatever unlucky prisoner resigned within. Headcount was shortly after, around six-fifteen. No one dared miss it.

Except Yancy, of course. The guards had a certain fondness for him. He’d been at Happy Trails Penitentiary for longer than many of them had worked there, and would likely be there after they were gone. He was a model prisoner, the poster boy for rehabilitative justice. So if he was a minute or two late to headcount, the guards would often look the other way. Many of them had no idea why he was there.

Seven AM was breakfast, usually consisting of fake scrambled eggs, freezer-burnt sausage patties and, if you were lucky, a tiny box of watery apple juice. Yancy said thank you to the sagging lunch lady, complimenting her recent hairdo, which was the same as it had been every other time. He smiled at the guards. He waved at his fellow inmates. Then he sat alone.

From seven-thirty to ten was yard-time or, if it was the third Sunday of the month, visitation hours. He waited for you the entire time.

At ten was another headcount. At eleven was lunch; boiled, unseasoned chicken breasts and squishy lumps of rice. Maybe a carton of lukewarm milk or cup of chocolate pudding. Those were the best days. Yancy said thank you to the sagging lunch lady– a different one this time, the other one only worked weekday mornings– and asked her how her grandkids were. He smiled at the guards. He waved at his fellow inmates. Then, again, he sat alone.

They were let out to the yard again in the afternoons if it wasn’t raining. They’d stay in if it was. Either way, what usually went on involved gambling, cigarettes, and fighting. If it was a really good day, a guard got shanked. But not by Yancy.

Five was dinner, this time soggy hamburger patties with no buns, overcooked broccoli, and microwaved crinkle fries. For the last time that night, Yancy said thank you to the sagging lunch lady. He smiled at the guards. He waved at his fellow inmates. And he sat alone.

The final headcount of the day was at five-thirty.

“Yo, Yance,” one of the guards– a newbie, he’d started the previous day– said as he came by with a clipboard, noting Yancy’s cell block and inmate number. “Why the hell are you doin’ time, man? You’re so . . .” he waved his pen, unable to think of a word. “Innocent, I guess?”

Yancy laughed. The rest of the inmates shifted, exchanging uneasy glances. “I killed my parents when I was five.”

The guard’s knuckles turned white around his pen. A visible shudder passed through his body. He was silent during the rest of headcount.

[mossyivy]

I can’t with all of these videos on this Instagram account because it’s LITERALLY CHRIS AND HIS WIFE’S MARRIAGE!!! And oh my goodness, THE LAST VIDEO IS SO THEM!!! Chris is like the scary mean dog and his wife is just a cute little sweet bunny.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6dzB0arNje/?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

This account is so them…Literally their marriage. His wife could be doing anything…ANYTHING. And Chris would walk past and smack her ass. We already know he’s an ass man, literally rubs them like hamburger buns.

Maybe his wife would just be bending down to stuff the laundry he’d just whistle while walking by and smack her ass. Having her yell out her tiny little cute screams, giggling and getting all flustered as Chris walked away.

Oh god—and when she’s wearing those jeans that hug her ass? He’d go feral. Especially if she’s wearing them with heels, hand in her back pocket while she walks. Giving her buns a squeeze in the middle of the grocery store when no one’s looking.

- Anon! 🎀

I feel like it become a game of keep away with his wife's ass. She constantly be smacking his hands away whenever she catches him creeping up on her.

[kid-az]

Random Omori Hc 1: Kel

Kel, despite popular belief, does have more interests than just basketball and sports.

One of these is astronomy, specifically stargazing. Indeed, on some nights, Kel goes outside and towards the hangout spot, and just lays down on the grass to watch the stars, maybe take a few pieces of paper with him to draw constellations or the patterns. Sometime after the good ending, Kel would buy a telescope, and use it to look closer at the stars and moon. This interest was spawned by Kel’s love for the Spaceboy comics.

Another interest of his is Bug catching, specifically, catching bugs and either releasing them, or taking care of them as pets. Some bugs he has taken care of include over a dozen caterpillars and then releasing them as moths, several species of spiders, one or two stag beetles, and he even once tried to keep an ant colony! (Albeit, that colony escaped, forcing his parents to call an exterminator) This activity was picked up due to Kel hanging out with Mari, as she would bring him to the forest to catch bugs, so as to prank Hero.

One activity he has also picked up is cooking, specifically, on making burgers and soups/stews. Kel is actually very good at making those types of food, and he often tries many different recipes and ingredients… some of them unconventional. For example, mixing potato chips into a hamburger bun, or even harvesting wild, edible flowers and mushrooms in the making of soup. In fact, one time when he and the gang were hanging out (good ending btw) he accidentally put hallucinogenic mushrooms into a soup recipe, which was… very, VERY, interesting for the friends. Thank goodness Aubrey doesn’t like mushrooms, or trust Kel’s cooking, or it would’ve been a disaster.