#This way I can keep some free time at home to continue my OS

[evaskjew]

When we have time because our classes are on work experience (long live the vocational lycée), we keep busy as best we can 😅

[klbwriting]

Unexpected Allies - Chapter 1

Fandom: Six of Crows/Shadow and Bone

Pairing: eventually will be Kaz/female!Reader but for now nothing

Warnings: I mean, Kaz Brekker is involved, someone is getting maimed

Summary:  The Darkling won the Ravka civil war, defeating the Sun Summoner and taking command of Ravka. Then he went looking for ways to make his Grisha more powerful. Kaz Brekker knew this but took the job at the Ice Court anyway, getting himself and Jesper Fahey thrown into a Ravkan prison for his efforts. After getting broken out by the Darkling's second in command the trio has to find their way to the Permafrost and the resistance gathering there. And then Kaz has to figure out a way to get his crew out of this whole mess. But how can he get himself out of the mess of feelings he has for the Grisha with all the powers?

Note: Hello!  I am alive!  I have found motivation for something else!  As much as I loved the Shadow and Bone show I have found more love in the Six of Crows books so this fic is an AU based on both.  In this the Darkling won out over Alina and then Six of Crows happened like it does, except the Darkling showed up to ruin things as he does. Also going to address the Inej sized elephant in the room, in this Kaz’s feelings were less strong towards her because I ship the fuck out of Kaz and Inej but I also ship the shit out of Kaz and myself too and I needed some self-insert.  I hope you like it, I missed writing and I’m glad to find some inspiration again.  

Kaz Brekker was known even in prison as the guy who didn't need a reason. He wanted his infamy to spread even behind bars, the better to keep those looking for a pigeon to harass away. On his first day in this hellscape he had stolen a fork from the dining hall and used it when his cellmate attempted to take the makeshift cane that he had been provided from his hand. Now he no longer had a cellmate and his old cellmate no longer had his eyes, and word spread quick of the young man willing to kill to be left alone. That had given him the time and space to start to plan his escape.

First, get Jesper as his cellmate. That was accomplished with ease. Anyone else they put in with him would be blind or deaf or crippled within 24 hours so it came down the guards asking him straight out who he wouldn't maim. He said Jesper Fahey and they allowed it if only to have a night's peace. Jesper didn't look like he was faring well. In a cell at Hellgate Jesper would have been alright but here in a West Ravkan prison near Os Alta where his Zemeni features made him stand out he had become a target. When he entered Kaz's cell rage filled the young crime lord. Jesper was thinner than ever, dark circles under his eyes and hands fidgeting constantly, almost like he needed a drug but Kaz knew it was just because he couldn't focus his energy.

"Jesper," Kaz whispered after the guard had left and his sharpshooter sat on the cot. "What do you need?" Jesper looked at him slowly and gave half a smile.

"Just my friend, s'all ok now," he said. Kaz felt the side of his mouth twitch up just a little. "But I could also use a way out of this damned place." Kaz nodded, gripping the wooden walking stick a little tighter. He wanted to put a comforting hand on Jesper's shoulder but he could not, Jordie's body, cold and wet and dead flooded his mind, and he couldn't bring himself to reach out. He hated that this place seemed to be tearing his friend apart slowly. It was even taking a toll on him. Everyday was the same, waked up with the sun, eat a breakfast of stodgy porridge and soggy bread, washed down with possibly the grimiest coffee ever made. The prisoners were then sent outside to work on either the large farm for the prison and surrounding towns or they were forced to be target practice for the Grisha guards. Normally only the worst of the worst were reserved for practice, or those that pissed off the guards. Kaz had avoided this so far but he knew Jesper had run his mouth one day, getting snarky with the yard guard and he had almost been drowned by a Tidemaker the next morning. Lunches were non-existant most days. They were shuffled from work to 'free time' which meant sitting in the hot afternoon sun either playing cards, or, if they were lucky, sitting under one of the shady trees that scattered the yard. Evening was the only decent time at this hellhole, it was dinner, and then back to the cells. Kaz enjoyed this time, he was normally alone to plan, and now that Jesper was here they could plan together. He had the beginning, how to get out of the cell, but the rest he was still working on.

"I have been planning this since we got in here, you were the first part of my plan," Kaz said, watching as another set of guards walked by. He checked the small window above their heads. "She's coming any minute now." Jesper looked at him confused for a moment before the cell door opened and a guard told Kaz to get up. Kaz nodded and stood, Jesper rising as well.

"This one should come too, he was at the Ice Court with me on that night," Kaz said to the guard. The guard looked between them and shrugged, motioning for another guard, a Grisha Corpolaki judging from the kefta he wore. They led Kaz and Jesper out of the cells and into one of the small interrogation rooms. Kaz was familiar with the room at this point, having been there several times in the past few months speaking with the Grisha Infernei who was seated at one of the two chairs in the room. She looked up as they entered and he noticed that she seemed relieved, something she hadn't shown before.

"Are there anymore of your comrades from the Ice Court in this prison?" she asked, motioning for another chair to be brought in. Jesper sat down hard while Kaz stood still, leaning on the walking stick and once again studying the Infernei. She wore a red kefta with black stitching, something different from the others and he was still not sure why. He supposed it was because she was high in the ranks. After the Darkling defeated Alina Starkov and her followers he had gone back to using his true name, Aleksander Morosova, and became king of Ravka. He used the power that he had sucked from the Sun Summoner to control the Fold now, moving and reshaping it to whatever he needed and on the night of Kaz's jurda parem heist he apparently needed the jurda parem also. Kaz and Jesper had been taken but the others had escaped.

"No, no more of us, just we two were involved," he said. The Grisha looked between them, assessing them. Kaz took another moment to look over her while she studied Jesper. He always liked to measure who he was up against, and he didn't mind studying her. She was curvy, seeming to like waffles more than Nina did, with hair a deep auburn and eyes the color of dark chocolate. The first time he saw them they reminded him of Inej's eyes except her's were more hopeful than he had ever seen Inej. This Grisha fully believed that something good could still happen in the world. Kaz was almost jealous of this, but of course, this Grisha had seen her side win the Ravka civil war. His eyes now met hers and he saw that while he was studying her she had been doing the same to him. He could tell she knew he was lying but he didn't care. He had spent the last 4 months keeping his answers vague, giving just enough information so that she would feed him information back about the current situation at the Little Palace, now the true royal home since the Grand Palace lay in ruin. King Aleksander left it as a reminder to those who would attempt to assassinate him, bodies still left scattered around the rubble, Alina Starkov's kefta in tatters on the front steps. Kaz hadn't seen it but from the way this Grisha described it, he believed it was terrifying.

"Mr. Brekker, we both know the heist you were attempting could never be accomplished with just two people," she said, a knowing smile on her face. This seeming infatuation the Grisha had with him was a plus for Kaz. He often wondered if he could possibly seduce his way out of the situation but his mind couldn't fathom the interactions involved, so he would wait. Perhaps this woman had a inclination towards criminals, she might be seduced by anyone, Jesper could do it easily, Kaz just had to get the ball rolling so to speak.

"I don't know, I think Jesper and I can accomplish anything we put out mind to," he answered, bringing himself to nudge his partner in crime with his elbow. The Grisha nodded and opened her notebook as she did at every meeting and began to write.

Y/N had noticed the look on Kaz Brekker's face when he elbowed Jesper Fahey. She could see his hesitation, she noticed the look in his storm gray eyes. He was bracing himself for impact as if the touch would somehow hurt him. Jesper's face was surprised at the touch, and he physically turned towards Kaz with shock. She opened her notebook and pretended to jot down something important as she did every day, but she mentally notated this interaction. She had been listening to others in the prison and despite his limp Kaz never let anyone see him as weak, however, this aversion to touch was never mentioned. He hid it well out in the general population but she could see something about touch bothered him immensely, that information could be useful later. Kaz Brekker was a tough nut to crack she had to admit, but eventually she would get to where she needed to be with him, hopefully sooner rather than later. Aleksander was having a tough time buying her excuses and she had to become even more convincing for him, continuing to keep his trust after the betrayal of the Sun Summoner was an arduous task. She hoped soon she could drop her facade and begin her true purpose, breaking Kaz Brekker and his cohorts out of this prison and find the gathering resistance in the Permafrost.

"Alright Mr. Brekker, we left off yesterday with you explaining to me how you came to know about jurda parem and what the Fjerdans were doing with Bo Yul-Bayor and his son Kuwei?" she said. It had taken months for Kaz to even start explaining anything to her. She had hoped that agreeing to allow his friend to be his cellmate would open him up. Luckily the gamble had worked at their last interrogation. His answers had still been too vague to really make an impact but it was a start. She hated to make him desperate but she needed the information, something to feed to Aleksander and send him on a chase for more jurda parem. Kuwei Yol-Bo had escaped from the Ice Court and that knowledge was keeping Bo from cooperating with the Second Army. He had recreated exactly one vial of jurda parem and refused to create another until his son was returned safely to him. Kaz Brekker and Jesper Fahey had been the last people to see Kuwei alive and she needed something to tell Aleksander before he decided to come here and do the interrogations himself.

"Yes, I believe I told you that a rumor had gone around Ketterdam and that I just happened to hear it," he said, making sure he was as convincing as he could be. Once again Y/N pretended to write something down, pretending to believe his lie. He was a very good liar, she could see that in the way his eyes held truth, his body language said honest, even his pulse was calm, however, the blood in his veins moved just a milisecond faster during his falsehoods. It had taken nearly a month to figure out the tell in his body but she had done it and now she used this against him.

"Must have been quite a rumor to make you put your friends in the line of fire of Fjerdans and of King Aleksander," she said, keeping her voice light, leaning a little closer to him. She couldn't lie, she was enraptured by the young man from the Barrel of Ketterdam, but she wasn't foolish enough to believe that he would ever see her as anything other than another Ravkan Grisha blindly serving her king, but she could pretend that she hoped to lure him in, get him feeling confident about her.

"Jesper will tell you, he was eager to join me to find this new drug, imagine the kruge we could make from such a thing," Kaz said, standing suddenly and poking Jesper towards Y/N with his cane. He moved towards the wall, leaning against it. Y/N watched him for a few moments before turning her attention to Jesper. He wanted to push someone else at her? Why? She could tell he liked the attention she gave him, maybe not in a way most men did, but he liked it all the same. Jesper barked a laugh.

"Eager? You came back and acted like we were going to be rolling in kruge, become kings of Kerch," Jesper said. He was also a practiced liar, following the lead of his boss as it were. Y/N smiled at Jesper then, making sure her brown eyes looked intrigued and enraptured. She noticed the Zemeni man leaned back in his chair then, clearly not interested in the attentions of a Grisha like herself. "But ya, I mean, I wanted the kruge and I was having a good run that night at the tables, felt lady luck was on my side." She saw him fidgeting near his waist, where his guns should be. She had those stored in her private quarters, along with a certain crow headed cane, waiting for the right moment. She had been watching Kaz and Jesper since they arrived, having her spies give her information on them. They were the only link she had to Kuwei and Inej Ghafa and she needed to know all she could before she continued her plan.

She tried to pry more out of the two for several minutes before one of her people, a young Squallor entered.

"The hour is late Korovsa, the king is finished waiting," she whispered. Y/N’s jaw tightened. Her eyes flashed to Kaz and she saw him take notice of the slight change in her features. Her fears were starting to come to pass. She needed to end this charade now.

"Guard, please escort Mr. Fahey back to his new cell. Mr. Brekker and I have more to discuss," she ordered. The guard grabbed Jesper's arm, hauling him from the seat. Y/N wanted to say something, tell them to lay off the guy, but knew she couldn't appear as if she cared. Once he was gone she made a motion for Kaz to sit. He still stood. "Sit, now," she insisted, hoping he heard the urgency in her voice. He eyed for another moment before he moved to sit. She leaned closer, all of her coy attitude gone.

"What's happened?" Kaz asked casually, working the top of the walking stick with his hands, the only sign of his concern. Y/N let out a breath.

"My time is up, tomorrow night expect there to be a riot, stay in your cell with Jesper, don't leave until you hear 2 bells, then leave the cell and go to your left, the door will be ajar due to the last guard through it mistakenly knocking over mop. Once you are in the corridor go right and follow it to the deserted morgue. I will join you and lead you and Jesper out, do not leave without me," she said.

"Why should I believe any of this? That you're just going to help up walk out of there?" Kaz asked, trying to read her, seeing if she was lying. She groaned annoyed. Why was it that her only hope was as distrustful as her current king?

"Because I want to see the king's body burn before he destroys all of us," she whispered, voice dripping with venom. Kaz looked a little surprised at her viciousness and he nodded. She sat back, knowing that by now the guard had returned.

"Well Mr. Brekker, you've once again been no help, tomorrow the king will be coming to personally interrogate you, I hope you are looking forward to it," she said. "Guard take him back to his cell." The guard nodded and yanked him out of the chair. "Careful, the king won't like it if he can't inflict the pain himself," she warned, more to Kaz than the guard. She hoped Kaz believed her enough, that she had shown her hand to him enough that he would do as she asked. If he didn't they were all screwed.

[letstalkaboutfandomsbaby]

Hey Sunny.........I am having a major burnout.....just full on academic frustration and I want to cry because I did my second and third exam for the sem finals so terribly. I have never ever written an exam this bad.....I was the topper of my class throughout 11th and 12th grade and now I feel like I am being stretched in all directions and I feel so fucking hopeless sometimes. Lots of things happened to me last year and well.....I wasn't given time to process....to grieve or mourn or just fucking cry out loud at all.......I am just feeling so fucking sad and I feel so dejected at myself. As much as I wanna ask for help, I feel weak because the culture that surrounds me bashes a person who dares to ask for help in the first place. I just want someone to hold me and let me cry until I just fall asleep from crying because God knows how long I have been just repressing all sadness in me just so I can be seen as the 'jovial' kid. I am so frustrated and mad at myself because I feel like I will never recover for whatever has happened to me and that I will never get to live my life the way I want......ya know be queer and free and live as such. Sorry for the rant, I just didn't know who to talk to.

- ❤️ anon

Hey bub 💕 first off, you have no reason to apologize. I always love when you show up in mg inbox :) im sorry that you're going through such a rough time rn. It seems like a lot of stuff is happening at once which os making it difficult for you to cope and function, and i am so sorry for that. I'm not the best at giving advice, but hopefully my past experiences can ease your pain:

I was depressed throughout college. I was away from home, i was living in the basement of my conservative aunt and uncle's house, i lived off campus so i didn't make any friends or join any clubs. I was so unbearably lonely and sad that i often cried once i was alone. Ofc there were happy times, but it was a very stressful three years of my life. It's not easy, there's a lot going on that can cause burnout, but it's important for you to prioritize your health over your grades. Ik it's easier said than done but you have to do it. Turn off and put away all school related items. Take some time to breathe and just let yourself meditate and clear your mind. Take a nap if you want to. Your brain is struggling to keep up with everything, you have to let it rest. Make a recipe that reminds you of the past and brings back happy memories. Watch a comfort show. Talk to family or friends that make you feel better. Just gove yourself some time to decompress bc you will not be able to continue studying if you are still overwhelmed.

I'm gonna let you in on a secret: it doesn't matter if you fail. It doesn't matter if you do terribly on your exams and fail a class bc you can always take it again. The funny thing about university is that it feels very important but it's similar to high school in that no one cares about your grades as long as you have a degree. There was one class i took that i got a 1.5 GPA on, and the only reason i passed the 1.0 GPA requirement for it was bc covid made learning remote so i was essentially able to cheat on my last exam sksksk. But i never think about that class a year after graduation. It has no effect on my day to day life. It will never affect me in the future. I have my bachelor's degree and i have a plan for the future. Life moves on.

But maybe you're just scared of the idea of failure in general, but everything happens for a reason. I was devastated when all of my vet school applications wete rejected. I felt like a failure and that i wasn't good enough and never would be good enough, but if that had never happened then i wouldn't have all the experiences i have today. I wouldn't have a new job that i love and i may not have made improvements in my life. Your failures give you opportunities to learn and grow, and you can make more informed decisions with your newfound knowledge. It's still scary bc you still fear failure, but now you have experience to look back on and reference when in a similar situation. Think about what worked and didn't work for you on your exams. Is there any way to talk to your professor about them? Perhaps you could go over your strengths and weaknesses to find out what you need to work on for your next tests. Idk what country you're in but many professors enjoy when students are passionate about improving upon their grades, so it wouldn't hurt to reach out and ask for help.

Ik it's hard, but you need to allow yourself to be weak. You need to allow yourself to cry until you're exhausted. Crying helps the body release excess chemicals, including those that stress you out like cortisol. Ik it's difficult, but you need to let this biological process happen so that your body can rebalance itself and function properly. The longer you push it down, the harder it will be on your brain and body. So just cry. In your pillow, in the shower, in public: wherever you want. Just let it out. Let yourself feel those feelings. Here's a good graphic to help you do that:

If it's any consolation, I've felt the way you have before. I've felt hopeless and awful and i convinced myself i would never be happy. Just last year i believed people who called me a narcissist, manipulative, a psycho, pathetic, a gaslighter, etc etc. I hung onto those words and convinced myself that i would never be happy bc i didn't deserve it.

Well guess fucking what, i am happy skskks. Im lucky enough to be able to attend therapy and i worked on things with a therapist and with this hard work and time gone by, im better. Im happy. I felt hopeless but i kept on living and now im experiencing so many new an wonderful things! I would've never guessed i would've been this happy a year or two ago, but i am. Sometimes it just takes time. Life will continue despite how stuck you feel, and you will move past these life events and you will smile and you will laugh and you will be able to breathe without struggling not to cry. You need to allow yourself time to heal and grow. Be patient with yourself. You are not perfect, you are human, which is much more exciting than perfection in my humble opinion. If i was there i would give you the biggest hug, squeeze you tight and rock you side to side and let you cry. And once you've gotten it out of your system, I'll make you some food. Maybe broccoli cheddar soup with toasted sourdough. Ooo and apple pie for dessert, with vanilla ice cream. Something yummy that's definitely self indulgent sksksk.

I hope you feel better soon bubby. I hope my words help in some way and if not i apologize. If you want to talk in private, my dms are always open 💕

[peachyteez]

mint chocolate chip ice cream ≫ DAY ONE, FOUND?

this abandoned, shy bunny hybrid loves hanging around the open field area of the recovery facility. one day, with the help of jungkook, another bunny hybrid, jiyu meets mingi. after days of mingi being too shy and running away from her, a bag of carrots and mint chocolate ice chip cream was all it took to seal the deal.

PART OF THE HEAVEN SERIES.

✧ taglist: @defsoul15, @jaeminpeachy, @joongiebug, @sunsethw4, @t-tbinnie, @chanyeolol, @danibookmarks, @hello-its-ya-boi, @murralyn, @alienmashup, @panini, @moon8894, @koasworld, @taetae123094, @luv3rxcha, @treasure-hwa, @etherealbyeol, @hwaseongzzz, @lovely-sanie, @orbitiiny, @deep-ocean-dweller, @babydolljo, @ms-starlight, @everrrlasting, @bls-luv-me, @atzgiggle

feel free to let me know if you would like to be added to the list!

✧ notes: mingi can be my bestfriend any day :)

next。

“i wonder how mingi’s doing...” yunho mumbled during breakfast. 

hongjoong peered up at him from his cereal. “who?”

yunho’s ears and tails perked up at the thought of his bunny hybrid friend that he usually saw everyday. “mingi. he was a bunny hybrid that i often met up with when i was still a stray. i wonder how he’s doing now...i haven’t seen him since you took me in. he had red hair the last time i saw him”

jiyu felt a wave of guilt crash into her. she didn’t realize that she took yunho away from his friend when she adopted him. stirring her cereal around, she mumbled a quiet sorry to the golden-retriever hybrid. 

yunho’s eyes widened when he realized what he had done. “no, no! don’t worry about it. really! we’ve always talked bout what would happen if one of us were to find a home so i think he’s figured it out by now. plus i went to the park where we usually hung out and i haven't seem him around so...i think he’s doing okay, too. he’s a strong bunny,” he reassured as seonghwa rubbed her back.

“if you say so...” jiyu dejectedly mumbled before shoving the last spoonfuls of her cereal into her mouth. she glanced at the clock. “oops, i need to go,” she said as she put her bowl in the sink. “sorry guys, i promise i’ll do the dishes when i come home!” she shouted as she ran up the stairs to grab her necessities. 

the three hybrids snorted at her child-like declaration. “that’s what she said three days ago and she fell asleep when she came home,” seonghwa chuckled.

“you say that as if you hate cleaning,” hongjoong retorted. “heck, you even told us to leave the dishes so you could clean them yourself.” yunho chuckled at the memory of the wolf hybrid double cleaning the plates, bowls, and utensils. it took him practically triple the time it usually takes to wash dishes. 

“alright guys, i gotta go.” flying down he stairs and quickly putting her shoes on, she opened her arms for the three of them. “come here,” she smiled. three bodies crashed into her smaller frame, making her slightly grunt at the impact. rubbing their heads, she peered at yunho’s face. “if you want, we can go to the park when i come home from work today to see if your friend’s there,” she offered. 

yunho’s eyes sparkled in excitement. “okay!” he grinned, his tail a clear indication of how elated he was at her offer. 

slightly chuckling, she gave a salute to hongjoong. “you know the drill, joong.” she laughed at his dramatic sigh as he glanced at the other two. 

“don’t worry, i’ll make sure they won’t burn the apartment down and that we’re alive by the time you come back,” he joked, a smile threatening to appear. 

jiyu chuckled. “alright, i’m off then.” 

coming into the office, jiyu fell into her seat and stretched her arms above her head as a yawn ripped through her mouth. 

“pretty big yawn there, buddy,” yeonjun commented, his eyes not budging from his monitor as his fingers flew across the keyboard. “did you sleep?”

“yeah, hongjoong’s nightmares have been getting better, so i’ve been getting more sleep.” unfortunately for hongjoong, he still had a tidbit of psychological trauma from his past, so his sleep was often plagued with nightmares about waking up back in the basement cell he was so used to. it was heartbreaking for jiyu, so there were nights she stayed up with hongjoong as they talked about every and anything. luckily, he’s been slowly recovering. 

“that’s good to hear,” yeonjun genuinely commented. “oh yeah,” he stated before turning to face her. “i think there's a stray somewhere in the field.”

jiyu furrowed her eyebrows at his comment. “how do you know?”

“i took one of the hybrids out for their morning outside time and they started acting pretty strange when we reached the bushy part of the field. i thought they were just adjusting to the outside but they kept wary of this one area so i assumed they picked up the scent of another hybrid.”

jiyu hummed in acknowledgement as she stood up with her clipboard to make her morning rounds. “okay, i’ll keep that in mind,” she said as she left the offices and headed towards the hybrids’ ward. 

softly knocking on one of the doors, she heard a small hum from the other side. “hey buddy, it’s me,” she gently called out, knowing how sensitive some of the newer hybrids were, “can i come in?” hearing a small “yes”, she entered the passcode and the door automatically opened. she smiled seeing the bunny hybrid sitting up in the bed as if he was waiting for her. “hey, there,” she greeted with a smile. 

jungkook was a bunny hybrid that had been admitted a while back, but he was still pretty sensitive to his surroundings and people. 

“wanna go outside today? i know you didn’t go yet this week,” she asked. 

jungkook’s bunny ears perked up in interest. “can i really go outside?” he asked, his eyes full of enthusiasm and excitement. 

jiyu nodded, a part of her saddened by his excitement to just go outside. “of course, let’s go.”

leading the bunny hybrid to the elevator, jungkook kept a strong hold on her white coat sleeve as they passed by multiple people. he looked nervous and shy to even look at them. once they made it to the field, however, it was like he discovered a newfound burst of energy as he ran around the area, sniffed the flowers, and even pet a squirrel that had come down from the tree.

suddenly, his ears stood up in full alert as he quickly scanned his surroundings. jiyu looked around as well and realized where they were. the bushy area where yeonjun told her about the potential stray. she glanced at jungkook and found his nose cutely twitching as he focused his gaze at the bushes.

“hey, jungkook,” she whispered, “is there...someone else there?” she pointed to the bush.

jungkook nodded before leaning down to her height and whispered back. “i smell another bunny. and he seems scared, too.”

taking a better look at the bush, she realized that it was moving—as if the unknown hybrid was trembling. a small frown pulled at her lips. who was it? was it a bunny hybrid like jungkook said? why were they scared?

quietly tip-toeing closer to the ever-so-slightly shaking bush, she squatted down a safe distance away from it with jungkook clutching the back of her coat as he followed her actions. “h-hello?” she quietly and gently called out to the bush. “are you okay?”

suddenly, the bush stopped shaking. before jiyu could process, she noticed a pair of white bunny ears peeking up from over the bush. she let out a small gasp. “are you—”

before she could finish her sentence, the hybrid stood up to his full height, making jiyu’s eyes practically bulge out of her head. he's as tall as yunho...if not taller!

unlike his towering height, the look he had on his face made jiyu slightly frown in sadness. he looked terrified as he stared at jiyu and jungkook. despite seeing that jungkook was just like him, he was extremely wary of jiyu. taking a closer look at him, jiyu realized that the bunny hybrid had bright, red hair. she remembered yunho’s words from earlier that morning. 

he had red hair the last time i saw him.

“no way...are you—”

whish

as a little squeak came out os his mouth, the unknown bunny hybrid turned around and quickly ran away from the two. climbing the fence, he deftly landed on the other side and continued running

“h-hey!” she called out after him, but it was no use. the hybrid had no intentions of looking back or stopping.

she frowned. “poor guy, i wonder what happened to him...”

jungkook also frowned at seeing the bunny disappear. “i smelled fear on him...and it was strong...” he mumbled as he looked in the direction the red-haired bunny ran off to. 

jiyu was lost in her thoughts. was that yunho’s friend...? nah, there's a lot of bunny hybrids out there. but he had red hair...is it common for bunny hybrids to have red hair?

“miss jiyu!” being brought back to reality, she looked over and was met with jungkook’s anxious look. “sorry, i didn’t mean to yell, but you weren’t responding so...” he meekly explained. 

jiyu softly chuckled before gently rubbing his downcast head. “don’t worry, bunny. you didn't do anything wrong,” she reassured. “i told you, you’re safe here, right?”

finding comfort in her words, a small smile crossed his lips before he gave a small nod. “okay...”

“now...who’s in the mood for some carrots?” she teasingly asked, laughing when jungkook excitedly raised his arm as he hopped. his ears twitched in happiness and his eyes were filled with sparkles as he chanted “me!”.

after giving jungkook his daily intake of carrots and making sure he was comfy in his room, jiyu trudged back to the offices. she couldn’t take her mind off of the unknown bunny hybrid. could he be yunho’s friend?

as much as she wanted to tell and ask yunho, she didn’t want to get his hopes up on finding his stray friend. if it wasn't him, jiyu could only imagine the sadness yunho would experience. 

maybe he’ll come back tomorrow. she hoped, completely unaware of the pair of eyes on her from outside.

[shittystockholmstyles]

Una Sorpresa || Oscar Diaz

Summary: Steph learns some shocking information about Oscar.

Warnings: Angst, Language, Smut

Word Count: 3,292

A/N: this took a lot longer to write than I thought it would but it’s done. Hope you like it! Check out parts 1, 2, and 3 if you haven’t yet!

It had been 2 months since that night Oscar had showed up at Steph’s house, needing her help. Since that night the two of them had grown closer, gone out on a few dates, and stayed in, which is how Steph had learned Oscar was a pretty great cook. They spent many nights staying up late to talk about their interests and goals and Steph began to see a side of Oscar that she suspected he didn’t show many people. It was nights like that when Steph almost forgot that Oscar was known by most people as Spooky, the scary leader of the Santos, forgot that he had done time in prison.

Steph thought back to the night they spent at the beach. Oscar had asked her if she was scared of him. After some time she slowly answered no. He had asked her why not and she’d explained saying that even though she knew what he was capable of doing, had done in the past, and knew he had a short temper she couldn’t imagine him hurting her so there was no reason to be afraid of him. Oscar had pulled her in and pressed a kiss to her lips. Things had quickly heated up as Oscar pulled her onto his lap, his hands sliding under her swim coverup to grab her ass...

“Aye what’s got your face so red, chica?” Leti’s voice cut through Steph’s thoughts and she looked down feeling her cheeks heat up.

“Nada, chica” Steph responded “did you find the detergent? I’m ready to get out of here” the two girls had stopped by the store to pick up a few groceries.

“Si, and I picked this up for you” Leti said as she threw a pink box in the basket Steph was holding.

Steph glanced down and read the words First Response on the box. Her eyebrows drew together as she looked up Leti “a pregnancy test? Why would I need that?”

Leti laughed and started to walk away “para nada, que era una broma, a joke. But it wouldn’t hurt to keep one handy just in case. Since you are you know fucking Spooky”

“Aye callete Leti, the whole store doesn’t need to know my business” Steph said, her head spinning as she tried to remember the last time she had her period. It couldn’t have been too long ago. She shrugged, she’d check her calendar at home, and finished paying for the groceries.

The girls made it back to Steph’s house to find Maria hanging out on the porch.

“Took you guys long enough. It’s too hot to be sitting out here” she said fanning herself.

“Stop complaining and move out of the way so I can open the door” Steph replied as she pulled her keys out of her bag.

The three of them hurried into the heavily air conditioned house. Steph put away her groceries as Maria and Leti gossiped while making lunch. The girls spent most of the afternoon just talking. It had been a while since they had just hung out; she had been spending so much time with Oscar.

After her friends had left Steph decided to text Oscar and see if he wanted to come over. Hey, you busy? No response. She shrugged and went to clean up her kitchen. Steph knew by now that if he didn’t respond right away he was dealing with important shit. She grabbed a bag full of toiletries and walked to the bathroom. As she began putting the contents of the bag away she came across the pregnancy test and stood staring at it frozen. A cold fear came over her as again she was reminded that she couldn’t remember the last time she’d had her period. Steph shook her head, it couldn’t be possible. But it wouldn’t hurt to be sure; she unboxed the test and sat down on the toilet.

After the difficult task of peeing on the stick Steph waited for what felt like forever for her timer to go off. The loud beeping of her alarm startled her and she reached a shaky hand toward the test. Steph took a deep calming breath, there was no way the test would be possible. Steph brought the test toward her and looked down at the double lines visible on the screen. She stared, unable to comprehend the result. She grabbed the box the test had come in and reread the instructions, there in bold print it stated that double lines meant pregnant, but that couldn’t be right. She grabbed another test stick out of the box and tried again, she waited the excruciatingly long 3 minutes for the result to show up and again it showed double lines.

“I’m pregnant?” She said out loud, her tone questioning.

Steph sat on the floor of her bathroom staring at the wall until she lost the feeling in her legs. Her head spinning trying to figure out what to do next. Taking a deep breath she stood up and looked at herself in the mirror; her eyes were slightly puffy, her nose pink, and tears stained her cheeks. She splashed cold water on her face and made up her mind, she’d go talk to Oscar, they would figure things out together. Looking at her phone, there was still no response from Oscar, she typed out a quick message I’m heading over, hope you’re home. With that she slipped on her shoes and headed out the door.

As Steph got closer to Oscar’s house she could hear rap music blaring down the street. Soon she was standing across the street, several Santos sat around the front yard drinking. Her eyes scanned their faces, looking for Oscar, he wasn’t in the front but he had to be around somewhere because his cherry red Impala was parked in the driveway. She did see one familiar face sitting on the couch, Marco.

“Hey Steph!” He said, standing to give her a hug as soon as she reached him “ain’t seen you here in a minute”

She gave him a small smile “yeah it’s been a while. Have you seen Os- Spooky around?” She asked using his nickname

Marco shrugged “uh yeah I think he’s in the back.”

“Thanks” Steph turned to head towards the back. She felt Marco start walking next to her.

“I’ll head back with you, I need a refill” he said holding an empty beer bottle up

Once in the backyard Steph looked around searching the crowd for Oscar. She found him sitting in the same spot he had been the night they first met only this time a blonde woman in a short red dress sat on his lap. Steph stopped walking, shocked at the scene in front of her. Oscar had a hand wrapped around her waist as she leaned back against his chest.

“Hey Spooky someone’s looking for you” Marco called from beside Steph.

Suddenly all eyes were on her, but all she could do was stare at Oscar as his gaze met hers from across the yard. His eyes widened in shock and the hand he had on the girl’s waist fell to his side. Steph backed away, turning to walk back the way she’d come. She felt her eyes begin to burn but she refused to cry in front of the Santos. She heard Oscar’s voice call out her name from behind her but that only caused her to pick up her pace as she crossed the street. Steph had made it down the block and was close to her house by the time Oscar caught up to her, grabbing her wrist to force her to face him.

“Let me go Oscar” she said glaring at him

“It’s not like it looked Mamas” he said loosening his grip but not letting go

“Oh? It’s not?” She laughed “I know what I saw Oscar” she yanked her hand away and continued walking towards her home.

Oscar followed behind “would you just let me explain”

“Explain? You mean come up with an excuse? A lie? Tell me I didn’t see what a thought I saw?” Steph asked, rolling her eyes “no, no soy una idiota” she was so close to her home only 2 more houses away.

“Look you weren’t even supposed to be there so just let me fucking explain”

His words caused her to stop, she turned around to face home, eyes blazing with anger “so you can cheat on me because I wasn’t invited to your party? It’s my fault this is happening?” She asked as she placed her hands on his chest and shoved him “you’re a fucking piece of shit”

Anger flashed across Oscar’s face when Steph pushed him. He grabbed her wrists pinning her to him. His chest was rising and falling at a rapid pace as he tried to control his breathing.

“Look I’m not denying what you saw but you’re gonna fucking listen to what I have to say” he said

Steph glared at him as she struggled to free her wrists from his grasp. She could feel her eyes blurring with tears and she wouldn’t let him see her cry.

“I’ll let you go once you agree to let me talk” Oscar said, staring down at her.

Steph bit her lip, considering the offer, she’d never get out of his grasp if he didn’t want to let her go. She nodded her head, moving her gaze to the ground.

Oscar let out a sign and released her wrists “let’s go inside and talk”

Steph lead the way up to her front door and walked inside. She turned to face Oscar.

“Listen Mamas” he started

“Don’t, don’t call me that” she said breaking eye contact as she felt her vision begin to blur again.

Oscar let out a sigh and began pacing the floor, his hands clenched at his sides.

“You said you wanted to talk so talk” Steph said, “tell me all about how it’s not that serious; you fucking other girls while I sit at home waiting for you to text me back”

At that Oscar moved to stand in front of her. He brought a hand up to Steph’s face but dropped it back down to his side as she moved back a step.

“Fuck Steph, I’m not fucking anyone else. She was just sitting on my lap”

Steph rolled her eyes “the point is that she shouldn’t have been sitting on your lap in the first place pendejo, how do you think that makes me look?”

Oscar ran a hand over his face “look I only let her sit on my lap to get the guys to shut up”

“What do you mean? That doesn’t even make sense”

“Joker and Oso kept talking shit about how I don’t pay attention to any of the hynas hanging around so when Ana came passing out beers I pulled her into my lap to shut them up.”

Steph scoffed, crossing her arms “because that’s easier than just saying you have a girlfriend? Or is it that you don’t consider me your girlfriend?” Her voice cracked at the end. “God I am an idiot, this whole time I thought you were serious about me, about us. But this was never about more than sex was it?” The tears had began to fall down her cheeks and she wiped at them angrily, not wanting to cry in front of Oscar.

Oscar’s face softened and he pulled Steph against his chest, wrapping his arms around her. Steph struggled at first, pushing against his chest, but she gave up realizing it was pointless; Oscar was a lot stronger than her.

“Mamas, I am serious about us” his voice was quiet, barely above a whisper, “ you have no idea how important you are to me”

“Because you never tell me” Steph interrupted

“You know talking about feelings isn’t my thing” he replied “but I do care about you, about us”

“Then why all the secrecy? Why not invite me to your party? You were the one that said I was always welcome at your place Oscar” Steph tilted her head back to look at his face, he was already staring at her and his jaw clenched slightly at her questions.

“I know what I said but that was before, before I got to know you and started feeling the way I do about you and I don’t want you around all the gang shit that goes down around my place”

“I’ve grown up in Freeridge, I’ve lived around gang shit all my life. It’s nothing new to me Oscar” Steph said

Oscar’s lips tightened into a thin line “I know that Mamas but I don’t want that to be your life anymore and I like having you just to myself”

“You mean you like keeping this a secret, I won’t be kept a secret Oscar, that’s bullshit and you know it” Steph said “if you don’t want people to know about us then there won’t be an us for people to find out about”

Oscar’s body tensed at her words “don’t say that baby. I need you in my life.”

Steph looked at Oscar and noticed tears welling in his eyes. The thought of him crying tugged at her heart. She brought her arms up, linking her hands behind his neck, “then make it official. Let people know I’m yours, that I’m your ruca, Oscar”

Oscar nodded his head and brought his face down to hers “okay” he whispered against her lips before kissing her, tightening his arms around her. He stepped backwards until his legs hit the couch and sat down, pulling Steph onto his lap.

Steph let out a small squeal as she was pulled down but didn’t break their kiss. Oscar’s hand came up to caress the back of her neck, deepening the kiss. She gasped as his other hand came down to unbutton her shorts, his fingers making contact with her exposed stomach.

She began to move her hips grinding against Oscar. He let out a groan against her lips then moved his mouth kissing gently along her jawline and down her neck. Suddenly he turned, moving to lay Steph down on the couch. He gripped the the edge of her top and pulled it over her head then did the same to his shirt. His lips continued to trail kisses from her neck down to her breast, still partially covered by her bra. He gently sucked on the exposed skin as his hand reached under her to undo the clasp of her bra. Steph slid the straps down her arm and watched as Oscar threw her bra on the floor with their shirts.

Oscar leaned down, pressing their bare chests together as his lips met Steph’s. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip and her lips parted in response allowing him to explore her mouth with his tongue. Oscar’s hand moved down to grab her thigh as she moved to hook it around his waist, drawing him in closer.

“Let me show you how much you mean to me baby” Oscar said breaking the kiss and moving down to take her right nipple into his mouth. She gasped at the contact and he smirked bringing his hand up to play with her left nipple. Steph arched her back, pressing into his touch and began to rock her hips against him. She could feel Oscar’s growing excitement against her thigh.

Oscar kissed his way down her stomach until he got to the waistband of her shorts. He hooked his fingers into the waistband and pulled her shorts down her legs, bringing her underwear down with them. She laid there completely naked feeling a blush creep over her skin under his heated gaze. Oscar bit his bottom lip as he stared down at her, letting his fingertips lazily run up her thighs. He gently pushed her thighs apart exposing her wetness. His fingers teased her inner thighs, bringing them close to her center and then back down.

“Oscar please” Steph moaned, her eyes meeting his. Her cheeks were flushed and her body shivered under his touch. Oscar leaned back down, placing a kiss on on each hip before moving down farther and kissing her inner thigh. He left a trail off kisses on one thigh then moved to repeat his actions on her other thigh before moving to her pussy.

Oscar brought his hand up and ran a finger against her folds “you’re already so wet Mami and I’ve barely touched you” his eyes darkened, “tell me how much you want to feel me touch you”

Steph moaned at his words “Please Oscar touch me” her words coming out in soft moans “I need you papi”

With that Oscar brought his face down and placed a kiss on her clit. He began to flick his tongue across her clit in slow motions. Steph let out a gasp as she felt him push a finger inside her, slowly pumping in and out as his tongue continued moving in slow circles. Oscar’s pace quickened as he heard her breathing hitch, moving his tongue and finger in sync. Steph felt her stomach tighten with pressure and rocked her hips against Oscar’s face, her thighs tightening around his head. He continued his movements until he heard Steph screaming a stream of curse words.

He quickly stood removing his shorts and was back between her legs, his cock pressed against her entrance. “You’re mine Mamas. All mine” he said as he pressed into her.

“Fuck papi” Steph moaned as he entered her, moving in long slow strokes. Digging her nails into his back she smiled and kissed him. “All yours” she whispered against his lips. Oscar groaned and picked up his pace. Steph hooked her legs around his waist drawing him in closer to her as he rocked back and forth. “Fuck right there papi, just like that” she said between moans.

Steph felt her stomach tighten again as she grew closer to her second orgasm and rocked her hips up to meet Oscar’s. Her nails dug deeper into his back as her release came. Her legs shook and she tightened around him as he continued his strokes until the feel of her around him was too much for him to hold on. He let go, his climax coming over him as he came inside her.

Breathing hard, Oscar pushed himself up looking down at Steph. He leaned down and kissed her “mine”

“I was serious, you need to let me come around and people need to know you have a girlfriend” Steph said. They had moved to her room and laid together, Steph’s head on Oscar’s chest, their bare legs tangled together.

Oscar’s hand stilled where it had been rubbing circles on her hip. “I know Mamas. I told you I would and I meant that”

“And no more secret parties, from now on I want to be the one sitting on your lap” she lifted her head to look at him.

Oscar smiled “whatever you want”

Steph laid her head back on his chest and the two of them were silent for a while.

“Oscar?” Steph said feeling nervous

“Hmm” he responded quietly

“There’s something else we should talk about”

“Hmm”

Steph was quiet trying to think of how to say the words she knew she had to say. Taking a deep breath she blurted out “I’m pregnant”

She waited for a response, a shocked gasp, Oscar sitting up, but nothing came. She looked up at his face to find his eyes closed, a calm expression on his face. He’d fallen asleep. Steph sighed, laying her head back down “I guess I’ll try again tomorrow”

[buckmecaptain]

With Two Os

So, I did a thing for @just-one-ordinary-fangirl​ ‘s #JOOF500Challenge , and I miiiiight have gone a little overboard with the prompts.  Maybe.  Kinda.  Sorta...uhh... I did them all.  (I tried to make sure I bolded them all in this post)

This is silly fluff -falls just short of a crack fic- Steve X (barely described) OC (she has a name and nickname, but that’s about it), with a hint of her having a bit of a thing for Bucky, and even Thor (mentioned).  Semi-oblivious Steve, Natasha as the voice of reason, overdramatic OC who might just be kind of a dumbass.  Pining, mentions of the rest of the team.  Obviously, this story ignores canon and everyone is happily living in the tower. :) Warnings:  A few naughty words, suggestive situations, so much dumbassery

Image is from knowyourmeme.com

-   ---  --   -  ---  -- -   ---  -- ---

 She pushed her long messy braid over her shoulder, then looked down at the table and sniffled, slowly stroking her fingertips over the glossy surface.  “So it's over, then.  We're finished.”

“Roxy,” Steve began, reaching for her, “I'm sorry, I-”

She flinched away from his touch.  “No. You're gonna have to give me some time.  This relationship... it isn't what I thought it was going to be.”  She wiped her hand over her face and sighed heavily.

“I said I was- wait, what?  It isn't?”  His eyebrows were knit tightly together, raised comically high,  shoulders hunched like he was trying to make himself smaller.

Turning to face the Captain, her lower lip trembled and eyes were wide.  “It was meant to be us.  Me and you, Roxanne and Steve, until death do us part.  And now you've destroyed that.”

“Seriously?”

She gasped and flung herself backwards onto the overstuffed sofa, one arm thrown across her eyes.  “Yes, seriously.  You left an undefended gap and the Empire blew up our base!” she whined, gesturing toward the tabletop game with her free hand.

Across the way, Wanda turned to Sam and asked, “If she's this dramatic when she loses a game, what happens when she wins?”

The Falcon chuckled.  “Well, let's just say she puts on a show.  Dancing tends to happen.”

Steve shook his head at Roxanne's antics.  “Well, that's enough Star Wars: Rebellion for tonight. What's next?”  He clapped his hands together and they began placing the game pieces back into the box.

“Are Thor and Bucky here?  If so, I volunteer for naked Twister,” Roxanne offered.

The Captain whipped his head around and gave her the Eyebrows of Disappointment.

She peeked at him from under her arm. “Hey, a girl can dream, right?”

“Let me guess.  It's game night and Roxanne's team lost, right?”

“ 'Tashaaaaa!”  Roxanne made grabby hands at the redhead.  “So glad you're home!  It's been forever and I miss waking up next to you every morning.”

Sam, Wanda, and Steve all did sitcom-worthy double-takes as Natasha snorted.

“Well, if you would set your damn alarm at night, I wouldn't have to come drag your ass out of bed in the mornings for training.”  She looked around at the other three people in the room.  “What?  She's like a sloth.  Or maybe a koala. Whatever, she sleeps incredibly soundly and clings, even when dragged out of bed by the ankles.”

Roxanne sat up and crossed her arms, pouting.  “So?  I need my rest.  It takes a minimum of eight hours of sleep for me to look this good.”

Natasha turned to Steve and smirked. “You guys lost pretty badly, huh?  Little Miss Queen-of-the-sore-losers is in a snit.”

Roxanne grumbled and dug out her phone from the couch cushions.  “Fine.  I'mma text Bucky.  He'll sympathize.  Or, wait... Nat, do you have Thor's number?”

Steve's hands clenched into fists at his side and he grit his teeth.  Natasha noticed, of course, but didn't react.  “He doesn't have a phone, Rox.”

“Really?” she sat up, wide-eyed, “Who doesn't have a phone these days?” she glanced back down at her screen.  “Aw, man.  They're canceling my favorite zombie drama. That's stupid with two Os,” she muttered as she ambled out of the room.

Natasha watched her leave, then whirled to face the fuming Captain.  “Really?  You're still pining over her?  When are you going to nut up and say something?” she prodded, glancing at his white-knuckled fists.

A muscle in his jaw twitched.  “It's pretty obvious she prefers Buck.  Or Thor.  Or both, you heard her,” he shrugged and looked toward the doorway, then sighed.  “I'm not going to chase after a rejection.”

She chuckled and shook her head. “Methinks you might be stupid with two Os.  That woman has had the hots for you since she joined the team, and she's pretty much made a fool of herself for you for the last year.”

He groaned and dragged a hand over his face.   “Why is dealing with women so difficult?  It's just-just impossible,” he complained.

“Steve, you deal with aliens, terrorists, and murderous lunatics on a near-daily basis.  After all that, you still think women are difficult?”

He sighed and placed his hands on his hips.  “Bad guys can be dispatched, arrested, or otherwise stopped. Dealing with women takes finesse, and I don't have any of that. Or experience.  Give me a murderous lunatic any day of the week. I'd much prefer that.  The serum doesn't help with this one,” he grimaced.

Natasha's eyebrows raised.  “Okay, Captain Wuss,” she teased.

“That's the first time I've been called that,” he mumbled, “at least, to my face.”  The only reply was the Black Widow's signature smirk, so he hung his head and huffed.  “Sure feels like I'm being ganged up on around here.” He went in search of the rest of the team in an effort to continue game night, following the sound of cheering and whooping to the media room.

Apparently a high-stakes game of Mario Kart was the cause of the cacaphony.  The team was gathered on the plush seating, with Wanda, Sam, Clint, and Bucky playing while Vision and Roxanne watched and cheered them on.  

Steve squinted when he saw Roxanne was seated on the back of the couch behind Bucky.  He was wedged between her legs and she was running her fingers through his hair, detangling it as she encouraged him to “Kick their asses, Buckaroo!”

Disappointed, Steve frowned and turned to leave, almost crashing into Natasha in the process.

She glared up at him, silently stamped her foot, and pointed forcefully at Roxanne.

Steve shook his head and gestured with his thumb over his shoulder, then crossed his arms over his chest.

Natasha squinted.

He shook his head again.

She raised a finger and circled it in the air, then pointed again at Roxanne.

Steve shook his head again.

Natasha placed both hands on his chest and shoved, making him stagger back a step, then jutted her chin toward Roxanne.

He rolled his eyes, but the redhead poked his chest so hard, he coughed.   While he was distracted she took him by the shoulders and spun him around, then shoved.  He stumbled forward a couple of steps, then glared at her over his shoulder.

Natasha placed her hands on her hips and tapped her foot.

“Oh what the hell?” he thought, and marched over to Roxanne, standing directly behind her.  She didn't notice because of the game noise, so he leaned down to her ear and loudly asked, “How's it going?”

In the blink of an eye, Steve found himself flat on his back with Roxanne on top of him holding a wickedly-sharp blade to his throat, wide-eyed and panting.

“Sorry!  I didn't mean to scare- Put the knife down.  Please,” he pleaded.  “Roxy?”

Roxanne tossed the knife aside and scrambled off of him, then ran out the door.

Steve lay there splayed out like a starfish, staring at the ceiling and wondering why fuckery kept finding its way to him, as his team mates gathered around.  They peered down at him curiously, barely-concealed amusement on each face.

“Hey Steve, you dead?”  Bucky asked, his lips twitching in an effort to keep laughter at bay.

Clint snickered.  “Dead from embarrassment, maybe.  Rox is crazy fast!”

Groaning, Steve pressed his palms into his eyes.  “You should go talk to her, Buck.”

“Huh?  Why me?”

Sitting up, the Captain eyeballed his best friend and snorted.  “Obvious reasons.”

Bucky blinked, then looked from Steve to Natasha.  “The fuck is he talkin' about?”

She shrugged.  “He thinks Rox has a thing for you.”

“Oh.  Oh!  Really?” Bucky hummed. “I should go talk to her.”  

Steve made a strangled moan as Bucky headed out the door, then stood and straightened his clothing.  “See you guys later,” he grunted and left the room as his team mates watched, helpless and confused.

*  *  *  *

Roxanne was seated at a window and brooding when she heard the tentative knocks at her door.  Ignoring the first few was easy, but it became more difficult when the knocks turned to loud booms. Grumbling, she made her way across the floor. “Okay, gimme a second.”  She yanked open the door to find Bucky on the other side.  “Oh, hey.  Come in.”   She went back to her window seat while he stood there shifting from one foot to the other. “Close the door, and sit down.”

He complied and took a seat on the overstuffed armchair.  “Everything okay, doll?  You kinda took off in a hurry earlier.”

She didn't bother to look at him, her gaze still fixed outside and fingertips trailing over the weave of the curtains.  “I pulled a knife on Steve, Buck.  Steve!”

“Yeah.  It's not the first time that's happened to him.  Won't be the last.”

“First for me.  He's my Captain.  My friend.  My very dear friend!” she insisted, “You don't hold a knife to your friend's throat!”

Bucky smirked and scoffed.  “I've done that.  And shot him.  Stabbed him, beat the hell out of him... and he's been my closest friend for eighty years.”

Roxanne pinched the bridge of her nose and grimaced.  “That is an entirely different situation...uh, entirely, and you know it.  He's never gonna forgive me for this, and even if he does, I won't forgive me.”  She slammed her fists down on the wooden window sill with bruising force, a resounding crack echoing through the room.

 Bucky was across the floor in an instant, taking her trembling wrists in his hands. “Doll, you're scaring me.  Please, just, calm down.”  They stayed like that until Roxanne's breathing slowed and the shaking stopped.    Finally he released her wrists and wrapped his arms around her as she leaned against his chest, swaying them back and forth.

“Ohh, I feel better already.  You're really warm.” She snuffled at his shirt.  “And you smell good,” she complimented, resting her hands on his sides.

He flinched.  “Thanks.”

Roxanne curled her fingers and he flinched again.  “Oh, Bucky... you're so...” she curled her fingers again, “Ticklish!”  She attacked his sides in earnest as he tried to fend her off carefully.

“Doll,” he squirmed, trying to back away from her, “Woman!  You'd better stop,” he warned.

She narrowed her eyes and smirked.  “Or what, Buckaroo?”  Snaking a hand into each of his armpits, she unleashed tickle hell.  “No mercy!”

Bucky bit his lower lip, trying to stifle his laughter.  “Okay, girly,” he snorted, “You've messed with the wrong person.”  He twisted away from her and crouched.

Roxanne backed up and her eyes went wide.  “Oh shit.  I've triggered the Big Bad Wolf!”  She giggled crazily and sprinted across the room, vaulting over the couch.

The chase was on.  Roxanne had the advantage of knowing the living space like the back of her hand, but Bucky was the superior tactician, so she she managed to keep out of his reach by the skin of her teeth.  He finally cornered her in the bedroom, where she'd ended up standing on the far side of her bed, plastered against the wall.

“I've got you!” he laughed, and leaped onto the bed with a victory shout, planting both feet in front of her.

Roxanne squealed and Bucky's fingers contacted her ribs, then they heard a small cracking sound.  “Uh oh,” she whispered as the bed tilted precariously and slammed to the floor.  They both lie there in a heap for a moment before disentangling from one another and jumping apart, Roxanne at the foot of the bed, Bucky at the up-tilted side.  They looked from the crazily leaning mattress to each other and back again, then burst into laughter.

“Not exactly the way I pictured us breaking my bed,” Roxanne quipped, waggling her eyebrows as she pulled the bed away from the wall and surveyed the damage.

Bucky's face flushed deep red and dared to glance at her.  “So, uh...” he trailed off.

“Hm?  I think I have something I can use to prop this up until tomorrow,” she murmured distractedly from the low side of the mattress.  “No big deal.  I was ready for something new anyway.”  The mattress shifted hard and she looked up to see Bucky was perched on the high side.  She held up a hand, forbidding him to continue.  “Sir, that slide is for children only.”

Bucky snorted and slid across the surface anyway, landing neatly beside her.  “Lemme see.”  He raised the mattress and box spring with one hand and peered at the broken side rail, then grimaced.  “Yep, snapped right in half. I'll hold this up while you get the blocks or whatever,” he offered.

When it was all put right, Roxanne hugged Bucky, thanking him for helping.  If they held on a little longer than friends do, neither mentioned it.  “Wanna watch a movie?” she offered, breaking the sudden tension, “You can choose.”

He agreed and she hustled off to take a quick shower while he searched through the titles for the new horror flick she'd been excited to see for a while.

When she returned she shimmied under the covers next to him and sighed happily.  “You found it!  Been waiting for this one.”

“Uh huh.  You're gonna fall asleep, you know.”

“No way.  I've been looking forward to this movie for months!”

“Right, sure.  Wanna bet on that?”

She growled playfully at him.  “All I want to do right now is cuddle with you in bed... is that too much to ask?”

Bucky waggled his eyebrows at her. “That's all?  You sure, doll?”

“Well,” she turned to him and trailed her fingers over his chest. “I also want you to take off your pants.”

He blinked.

“You gonna?”

He blinked again.

“Earth to Bucky.”

“Uh, sure, okay.”  He pulled off his sweatpants and tossed them carelessly to the floor.

“See?  Isn't that more comfortable? Oh,” she squinted at him, “You are wearing underpants, right?”

He blushed furiously.  “Roxy!  Of course I am!”

“Okay, geez.  Those sweats are pilly and scratchy.  Ugh, how can you wear those?  Get comfy and let's watch this flick.”I've been looking forward to this movie for months!”

They joked and snarked at the movie as it played – it really was written poorly – and generally laughed so much, they missed half of the dialogue.

“Are you kidding me?” Bucky snorted as the main characters made yet another idiotic mistake in the haunted estate.  “This would never happen if it was you and me in their place, doll.”

Roxanne nodded.  “Right? I'd freakin' lose it, I'd be all up in your face like, 'How could you lose our children in our own house?'  Bah!”

They made it through to the end and put on a dumb comedy afterward, but they were both fading fast.  Yawning widely, Roxanne squeezed the arm Bucky had wrapped around her waist.  “Thanks for helping me feel better, Buckaroo.  You're awesome.”

“I sure am,” he chuckled. “Anytime, Roxy-girl.”

They nodded off halfway or so through the movie, warm and comfortable in the temporarily-repaired bed. Bucky awoke somewhere around two o'clock and eased his way out of her quarters, still in his t-shirt and boxers, sweatpants in his hand.  As he quietly closed the door and made his way to his room, he failed to notice he was being observed by his best friend.

Steve stood at the corner, watching Bucky leave his girl's room, sadness and jealousy bubbling in his gut.  He scoffed at himself for calling Roxanne “his” in his own head and spun around to hit the gym again... only to come face-to-face with Natasha.

“Seems like I'm always catching you running away from Rox,” she quipped, and folded her arms across her chest.

He sighed.  “Not running away. Leaving.  She's already had, uh, company.”

“Who, Barnes?” she snorted, “I have it on good authority that she didn't bang him.”

The Captain raised a brow.  “Oh yeah? How's that, spycams in her bedroom?”

“Careful, Rogers,” she warned. “Because you're hurting, I'll let that one slide.  Here.”  She tapped at her phone a few times and handed it over, open to a messaging app.

Rox:  Natty!  I need HELLLLLLLP! Please!!!

-What's the matter?  Who do I have to murder?

Rox:  NAT

-No, really.  I will.

Rox:  Nothing like that.  I freaked out after almost stabbing Steve and Bucky came to check on me and long story short I asked him to snuggle in bed with me.   Did I fuck up????????

-…

Rox:  Hurry Natty!  Need answers I'm in the bathroom and need to leave!

-There's nothing wrong with you SNUGGLING with Bucky.  

Rox:  that's all we're gonna do I swear.  He's super hot but we're not there yet ya know???

Rox: gotta go thnx I love you!!!!

Steve read and re-read the manic message exchange a few times, letting it sink in.  He gave Natasha her phone back and dragged a hand over his face.  “Dammit.”

“Uh huh.”

He stood straighter, hands on hips, and cocked his head at her.  “That still doesn't mean they didn't... fondue.   Going by the timestamp on the messages, they had plenty of time for that.”

Natasha huffed and slapped him hard on the arm.  “If Rox had been planning on doing Barnes, she would have asked for wildly different advice.”

With a look, he urged her to continue.

“Oh dear God, you just might be stupid with two Os.  She's asked me for sex advice before, obviously.”

Steve frowned.  “I don't need to hear this.”

“Actually, I think you do.  Remember when you watched 'The Wizard of Oz' with her in your room and she took an oddly long time to bring the popcorn?”

His jaw dropped.

“She asked me how it was possible for you to be such an adorable puppy and so smokin' hot at the same time.”

His face went scarlet.  “She asked you that?”

“Yep,” she nodded.  “Compared you to a giant yellow labrador retriever puppy.  She was hopeful, but it didn't happen.  I mean, obviously.”

“I have-  I need to-  I've gotta go. Thanks, Natasha.” He stepped around her and jogged toward the elevator.

She watched him go, shaking her head and muttering, “All the men in this tower share the same brain cell, I swear.”

Roxanne was dreaming peacefully, quietly snoring into her pillow and curled up burrito-style in her blankets, when she was rudely jolted awake by a loud thumping. Snorting in a completely unladylike manner, she forced herself out of bed and across the floor.  

She slumped against the wall and snarled, “It's four in the morning, what do you want?”

Shuffling sounds came from the other side of the door.  “It's, uh, it's me.  Steve.  May I come in?”

“Oh.  Yeah- yes, please.”   She swung the door open wide to allow him inside.

“Are you okay?  You were so upset when you left, and I- I thought you might still be... sad?”

“Really?”

He nodded quickly.  “Yeah, so I thought I'd bring something to cheer you up.”  He produced a plush yellow Labrador puppy from behind his back and thrust it toward her.

Blinking, she gently took the stuffed toy.  “So you thought I was sad, because of...earlier.”

“Yes.”

“And you really thought buying me a puppy was going to cure my sadness?”

His expression mirrored the stuffed pup's exactly and she smiled fondly at him.

“Well... you were right.   Thank you!”  She tucked the gift under one arm and hugged Steve with the other before gasping and jumping away from him.  “I'm sorry!”

“Wait, what?  Why are you apologizing?”

Eyes glassy with tears that were about to spill over, she blurted, “You must hate me!  I put a knife to your throat, Steve.  That's not something you just brush off.  We're- we're f-friends.  Close.  You're my Captain!”  there was no stopping the word vomit now, as mortified as she was.  Might as well rip off the Band-aid.  “And you're amazing and smokin' hot and I've had the biggest damn crush on you for so long and all I want to do is kiss your stupidly handsome face, and...  Oh no,” she whined and covered her face with both hands.  “On a scale from one to ten how much do you want to punch me right now?”  She asked quietly, peeking at him between her fingers.

Concerned, Steve placed his hands on her shoulders and gently squeezed.  “Sweetheart, slow down.  Just breathe for me, okay?” he soothed.  “First of all... No, I don't hate you.  We're not there just yet.  You'd have to do a hell of a lot worse than pouncing on me with a knife to make me hate you,” he grinned at her.

Roxanne winced.  “I- I don't-”

“Are you saying you're plotting my demise as we speak, doll?”

“Steve!  I would never, and you know it,” she denied.

He laughed heartily at her distress. “Okay, okay, sorry.  Just giving you a little grief.  I'll let you get back to sleep.”  He turned to the door.

“Yeah, like I'm gonna be able to knock out again after all of this.”

Steve sighed.  “Want me to go get Buck for you?  Maybe he can help.”

Roxanne rolled her eyes and tossed the stuffed dog onto the sofa.  “Steve Rogers, you big, gorgeous idiot!”

He blinked.  “Um.  I'll take that as a compliment...I guess.”

She flung herself at him and wrapped her arms around his neck.  “I've been mooning over you for a year now and- and I didn't know how to- didn't think I should say anything.  It's not my place and...”

He held her close and smiled.  “I've done my share of pining, too, sweetheart.”

“I have an idea,” she said, then leaned forward and pressed her lips to his for a short and sweet kiss.  “Wanna go stargazing and cuddle under the moonlight?  What's left of it, that is,” she suggested.

“On one condition.  Call me your ‘Captain’ again.”

Trailing her fingertips over his chest, she fluttered her eyelashes and in a breathy voice, asked, “Would my Captain like to go up on the rooftop with me?”

Steve’s chest rumbled and his eyes darkened.  “Yes ma’am, I’d like that very much.”

Later, bundled up together on one of the rooftop chaise lounges, Steve and Roxanne weren't doing much stargazing.  Caught up in the closeness, the newness, instead they spent the pre-dawn time making out and murmuring sweet nothings, as lovers do, until Steve's phone alarm sounding at half-past six pulled them from their serotonin haze, and they both groaned in irritation.

“We probably should have gotten some sleep, sweetheart.”

“I was sleeping soundly until somebody pounded on my door,” she teased, and poked his chin.

“Uh huh.  Was it worth it?”

“I dunno... I was really comfortable, and I need my beauty sleep or I wake up looking like sea hag.”

He tutted and kissed her forehead. “Aw, I'm sorry, doll.  How can I make it up to you?”

Tapping her lips with her fingers, she pretended to consider his words.  “How about... another cuddle session?  Longer this time and with more kissing.”

“I think I can manage that,” he grinned.

“Oh, and bring Bucky.”

He gasped and tickled her mercilessly.

“Okay, okay!  Enough!”  She kissed him soundly, then they untangled from the blankets and headed for the door, hand in hand.

Steve sighed wistfully.  “We wasted so much time, you know.”

“Yeah,  maybe we really are stupid with two Os,” she teased, nudging him with an elbow.

He chuckled and opened the door for her.  “Maybe so, darlin'.  Maybe so.”

She passed him and sauntered toward the residential area, calling back over her shoulder, “About bringing Bucky along, though-”

Thundering footfalls sounded behind her as she squealed and ran for her life, giggling madly all the way.

[kanraandchrome]

*chirp* 11, 20, 21, 24 and 39 ? '^'

Hey baby bro ! This has been sitting in my asks for way too long and I have a lil' bit of free time, so let's brighten your day when you'll wake up ♪ Thank you so much for asking, I luv u :maw:

11. How do you come up with your fic titles?

That's an easy one : I usually ask people for one or two word(s) prompts or give myself one, so it becomes the title most of the time (Complicité, Curtains, Home). And like 10% of the time, it's a sentence that encompasses the mood of the fic or OS, but I tend to use this type of title when I have no idea of what I wrote or if I need a title. (Do you think I plan stuff ? I don't).

20. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

Advertising my fic on every social media I own. I'd say proofreading ! Because I can just marvel at some sentences I wrote and cringe at others, change a few things, realise I misgendered my own character (sometimes, I'm tired) or wrote a sentence in Japanese in the middle of my English OS because it sounded better :mdr:. Proofreading is fun, and is usually the moment when I really get serious and smooth everything so I can offer something neat and clean (Après l'Automne... had 8 proofreading sessions for example, and it's not the most I did. I just want it to be perfect).

21. What’s your least favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

Writing ? *sob* Kidding, actually the least favorite part for me is when I'm writing, it's all flowing naturally and suddenly I have to STOP to do an emergency research to be sure the rest of what I have planned to write won't go in the wrong direction lore-wise. It's long to do, it's annoying, and when I come back it disrupted my focus so sometimes I forget what I wanted to write. And no I can't continue to write and then check afterwards, because I know I'm wrong most of the time and will have to erase what I planned to write.

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write?

Oooooh that one is hard ! I'm the kind of perso to look at something and say "Well, it's not my jam so I'll block this tag/character" and call it a day, just because I want to keep my searches neat and tidy (hi, you can call me the Haul of fictions) so it's really hard to think about something... If I have to answer though, I'd have to say real people. It irks me out I'm sorry, I just can't write fictions about real people, and even less read them it's just NOPE. Its not really a trope (or I think RPF would count then ?) but just ... these stuff with One Direction or BTS or... ? I'm sorry, but no, I can't. Let's say "real people as characters" ! (But as I said, it's not my thing and that's ok, please continue to write what you want to write people, internet would be a sad place otherwise !)

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

Hehehehehe... honestly, my descriptions. Especially for sceneries ! I'm really proud when someone says to me "I could picture it perfectly down to the littlest detail it was wow !". This comment sparks joy ! I know they can be too lengthy or boring or factuals or who cares if there is a stain close to the desk... but I love to vividly gives these details so the picture is clear in mind ! And it also helps me better reenact actions and how people will move in the described space (that's something else I'm proud of, but less than my sceneries).

[yuvon-writes-letters]

Hey guys :)

Maybe I'm going chronological for one time, so I can sort my thoughts easier.

Yeah, Goldie's much mire active than I would've thought, too. But they did all those things to keep me alive and kind of save, since we still don't know who they are exactly working against. (I mean, we don't know who Goldie exactly is either, but you get my point)

Honestly, I am pretty sure the TSB timeline is continuing, at least if my theory that Goldie just set me back in an alternate timeline is true. In this case I feel sorry for TSB, though..Extremely sorry. He still was 'my' Jake back then, even though he acted weird in the end (maybe was manipulated by entities). I mean, if what he wrote was true he went with authorities. And in the end..this could've been his downfall.

And yeah, maybe I'm not exactly safe, but I just have to go back. If I go, and if I lose my job, I have some things to sort out. And Jake luckily agreed with me that clearing up my desk isn't the worst thing I can do before leaving. We're still thinking about a location, which I could luckily deside myself. Max agreed on that. Even though he still has some doubts. (I mean, of course...His cousin opened the door with bruises all over her face.) He did promise to not ask any questions until I feel ready, though. That gives myself and Jake some time to figure that out.

And also, Jake is right! We have three Jakes and three smart people. YUVON. And of course Goldie, like you said Yu :) And some information about the previous timeline. (And that was it with being chronological)

So yeah, like I said, Max and I'll go. And I also think we can be pretty certain now that the message came from Goldie not the MWAF (which is relieving). I saw the messages and they didn't make Jake the bad guy. I honestly just don't think I can quote them yet. (They're too good, but I probably start daydreaming if I do) But they talk about Jake being an important part of my life and my heart and Max protecting me when he cannot. My dear cousin jumped to conclusions when he saw my bruised face. About Max' phone...I'll probably throw it in a river or something if he brings it with him. I told him not to, also because of Jake (he's not only worried about the MWAF apparently...He didn't exactly say it out loud, but I think it's pretty obvious) but he loves this device.

And I emphasize with you about the being kidnapped thing, you'll manage it, I know it :) And if I need to jump dimensions and box some sense into your Crow-Crew xD

No but for real, you can do that. I know it :)

Jake, find a good point in time to talk to her. But do it :)

Otherwise, I still think the 'underlying desire' theory is a possibility! But, like always in the moment, we could be wrong.

As for my stasis, I really do not wish to talk to more people who think I've been kidnapped. And I am a bit scared that could somehow lead to either them or me being in more danger again. But for now we have to wait.

I for now will pack some important things and paper & pens xD I don't want to leave y'all behind :P

Liska🐾🔥

[A screenshot is glued to the back of the letter and the quick sentence "Jake wants to talk to Jake" is written above]

Hello Jake, it is a pleasure to meet you. I am not quite sure in which way Liska will handle giving you my message, but she promised me to not read it for now.

I don't know whether she told you before or not, but as far as I am concerned she realised I am not only worried about the MWAF chasing her.

With me breaking out of this stasis I am sure that my followers aren't that far behind. And I know you can't do anything from where you are, but cross checking way to protect her doesn't seem to bad to me. Especially since we are similar but still fairly different from each other. At least it seems like that from what I have read.

For my part, I recently improved and updated Nym-OS which allows me access to Liskas whereabouts. If Yuvon should read this, she knows and agrees to it.

Still I am yet stuck on one little detail: I am trying to help Nym-OS in counterattacking. So, even though I am sure you already knoe this yourself, Nym-OS gets the ability to access location of the people attacking Liskas phone. I am almost done with that, so we are able to see a bit easier if and where people are that could be a danger.

Do you have any other ideas for ways I could help? Or even improve what I am doing momentarily. I wouldn't normally ask this since I know and trust my skills, but I think that this is fairly different from a 'normal situation'.

~ Jake

Lis,

Um. I don't know if you've seen the newest person to send in a letter, but we now have an issue.

Jessy, if you're reading this, I was sort of trying to avoid talking about this right away but I'm sort of trapped in a weird place, and Jake's here too because I'm a dumbass. I did not, so you know, let him read your letter or my reply. I figured you wouldn't want that. Sorry for dancing around the issue earlier :/ But at least you can get a good sample of the complete insanity we go through on the regular now!

Yeah... you're getting thrown into the deep end right now, aren't you. Sorry. There's no way to ease into this. You should probably either stop reading these entirely or start reading the letters from the beginning, so this will all at least make some sense. The first letter should start with the words "To whoever reads this," just so you know you get the right one.

Back to you, Lis. Yeah, I feel pretty bad for TSB Jake too. I honestly can't imagine being in his position right now.

Alright. So, you can choose the place. Great! There's way less chance of you being caught that way...

Tragedies just seem to be happening to all us Duskwood detectives, recently, don't they? Rai is chronically overworked and barely has time to sleep, I'm stuck in this hellhole and I've been forgotten by most everyone, you were shot, and poor Matt died and... well.

I never knew him, but I feel really bad for him :(

You could give Max half the truth. Tell him you have a stalker, and he's starting to get physical. Jake has been trying to help you get away from the asshole. It's not even a lie, just... not the full truth. Because. You know. The whole truth is completely fucking insane.

Writing to Jessy just put into perspective how insane everything is, I think. Gimme a sec.

Oh, fuck. My Jessy just texted me. Great timing.

Jeez that whole thing with me leaving myself out was just a joke XD If I knew you and Jake would take it so seriously, I'd never have said anything. I'll steer clear from now on.

Yeah, okay, definitely Goldie. That makes way more sense. I don't think you have to be quite so drastic as destroying the phone. Just get him to leave it at home for the trip.

Ahaha, thanks. I don't think that's necessary, though. Actually, seeing future!Jessy's perspective has caused a bit of a paradigm shift. I think I might need to reconsider what all to tell and not to tell the Crow Crew. I just sort of default to keeping things secret, now, but you've seen how well that worked for me with you and Rai, and with Jake.

Again, you probably should wait for them to contact you first, but you WILL need to talk to them when that happens. What you say to them and what you don't is up to you.

Pack a couple different pens XD We're all a bit long-winded.

That's all from me :)

(The handwriting changes to Jake's.) Hallo, Lis.

Yuvon refuses to tell me what precisely she means about Jessica. Was she somehow contacted by an alternate version of Jessica? If so, how?

I am glad it was Goldie who contacted Max. Yuvon's suggestion for an excuse seems a good one, as there are far less things to remember that way. You simply need to oversimplify everything.

I do not, unfortunately, entirely believe that Yuvon was joking when she made that comment, based on previous comments and her ongoing guilt. I can't understand sometimes why she feels the need to lie so much. It is difficult for me to read people, much less her.

I will speak to her eventually. Early tomorrow, perhaps, if nothing else rears its head. Yuvon looks tired, and I am also admittedly not at my peak. I sincerely hope she does not wake up as early as she does every single day. It may get somewhat taxing, what with the lack of coffee here.

I think that is all from me to you, Lis. If you would kindly find a way to send the next section to my counterpart without looking at it, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you :)

—Jake and Yuvon

Jake,

It is a pleasure to meet you as well, despite the unusual circumstances.

That our pursuers may be freed from the stasis is a logical conclusion. Seeing as the last known location I had on them in my universe was approximately five hundred miles from Duskwood, they will likely be some of the first to free themselves from the stasis. I do not believe I need to warn you that time is of the essence.

It seems as if I am a small distance ahead of you in the development of countermeasures, perhaps because I have had more linear time to develop them. If you are where I think you are at in the development, you likely have or will soon hit a bug you cannot pin down that makes the pinpointing mechanism simply refuse to work at all. Presuming your and my version of NYM-0S are similar enough, the issue should lie in the public bool set in line 132 of the third part of the targeting script, the script that decides what constitutes a target; you have it defaulted to "false" where it should default to "true".

As for additional countermeasures: I was attempting to work on a rudimentary automated system of pattern detection when I was brought here. Essentially, its function would be such that it would be able to triangulate using the locator features already installed to find a rough estimate of where their headquarters might be. However, I have not found any way thus far to eliminate outliers, and as such the feature is currently next to useless. I am no longer able to work on the code, but perhaps you will have more luck than I did.

That is all I can think of for the moment on that subject. However, I have an odd theory on what may be part of the reason we vary so. If you have a moment to spare, please answer me this:

When I was very young, back when Mother was still around, she took me to a doctor for odd behaviors. This included not looking people in the eyes, but there was a list. I was given a diagnosis; if you had the same experience, you should likely know which one.

Did you have this experience? If so, please prove it by stating what the diagnosis was.

Do not worry if you do not know what I am talking about; I would rather you did not guess. Simply state that you don't know. It will confirm my theory.

Good luck with your pursuers.

—Jake

(The letter tucks itself in the paper clip with the others.)

[clothingblog35]

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1. Causes of WD My Passport not readable on Mac error

2. How to fix 'WD My Passport unreadable' on Mac error?

3. Conclusion

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Causes of WD My Passport not readable on Mac error

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If the error still exists, you have no choice but erase the WD My Passport. But keep in mind that you will lose all data store on this disk. If you didn't back up important data, you should get lost data back with free Online data recovery software at first.

Step 1: Recover lost data from the unreadable WD My Password on Mac

If you are not sure which data recovery tool you can trust, iBoysoft Data Recovery for Mac is highly recommended to recover lost data from the unreadable or corrupted WD My Passport. This free Mac data recovery can scan and recover lost data from unreadable SD cards, internal Macintosh hard drives, external hard drives, USB flash drives, etc. iBoysoft Data Recovery for Mac provides a complete Mac data recovery solution even if your Mac won't boot/turn on, your device is failing, inaccessible or has lost a partition.

Moreover, iBoysoft Data Recovery for Mac can also recover recently or permanently deleted files, recover lost data from formatted hard drives, recover lost data from unmountable hard drives, and recover lost data from inaccessible drives, etc. This software supports recovering documents, photos, videos, emails, and music files. It's fully compatible with macOS Big Sur 11/Catalina 10.15/Mojave 10.14/High Sierra 10.13/Sierra 10.12 and Mac OS X 10.11/10.10/10.9/10.8/10.7.

1. Download and install iBoysoft Data Recovery for Mac on Mac.

2. Launch iBoysoft Data Recovery for Mac.

3. Select the unreadable WD My Passport and click 'Next' to search for lost files.

4. Preview the searching results, choose those you want and click 'Recover' to get them back.

5. Go over to ensure all lost files have been successfully restored.

Step 2: Erase the unreadable WD My Password in Disk Utility

After you get files off the WD My passport hard drive, you are safe to erase this external hard drive to make it work again. Reformatting will fix the unreadable error and the drive can be ready to use. Then you can copy the recovered data back.

• How to format external hard drive on Mac?

Solution 7: Ask data recovery service for help

However, if the solutions above don't fix the WD My Passport unreadable issue for you, or your WD My Passport even won't show up on Mac, it's probably the drive has been physically damaged. In that case, you should send it to a local data recovery service or replace it with a new one.

Wd My Passport Ultra Software

Wd My Passport Ultra Software Download Mac Version

Conclusion

Wd Passport Ultra Software Download

Hope these solutions have helped you fix the WD My Passport corrupted or unreadable issue. If you have any question about this article, stay in touch with us for further assistance. Specifically, we'd love to hear if you have other solutions for this issue.

[inside-of-a-fangirls-mind]

The White Wolf’s Dance; Chapter 2

Request; Still none but I needed a little action and angst. Hope you guys enjoy.

Words;2,753

Warnings; Minor Character deaths, Family deaths, Blood and Gore. Trying to save a life. Reader passed out from wounds after a fight. 

Pairing; Defintley more Geralt x Reader ish. IF you squint. 

Note; So I dunno where I really went with this chapter. Just wanted to give some background info on reader mainly. And show how freaking powerful she is and how much Geralt lowkey cares about her already. Maybe one day Geralt will train her to become even better? Idk. 

——————————————————————————————————

{I don’t own any gifs or witcher content!}

Tag List;

@yuminyg​ @andyl394​

If you wish to be on the tag list comment below!

                *Chapter 2; The Girl Behind the Mask*

Geralt and Jaskier stood away a bit from you, Jaskier just staring at you the whole time. “She’s a bit peculiar isn’t she?” Jaskier whispered to Geralt as he watched the girl. “Maybe I can get her in a talking mood. It seems she knows loads about us and we know nothing of her.” Before Geralt can say a word Jaskier walks over and pulls a log up to sit by the fire as well.

“Y/N,” He hums softly setting his lute down beside him “That’s your name right?” Jaskier offers a smile to you but you don’t open your eyes. Just giving him a slight nod which he would have missed if he wasn’t staring at you.

“Why’d you try to go after the harpy yourself? Surely you could have just put out a contract on it like anyone else?” He watches you before his attention goes to the fire. You peek an eye open to look at him before a soft smile tugs at your lips.

“I’ve killed many a monster before. Didn’t think one with wings would be too different. That’s where I was wrong. Unlike your friend,” You glance over to where Geralt is pulling up a log to sit at the fire as well. “I haven’t had years of training or been enhanced in any way. I just try my best and out of sear will I make it.” You look across the fire and catch his amber eyes looking back at you for a second before you sigh loudly. “Well, I’m sure you have more questions. Let me hear them. I’ll answer all I see fit.”

“Why’d you start killing monsters?” Geralt’s rough voice shocked you for a second, you didn’t expect a word out of him. His tone didn’t seem truly interested in the answer just trying to make conversation.

“Well the basic sob story, my village was attacked, my people killed. My father went off to fight and never returned. I was the oldest so someone had to take care of the family. Mom couldn’t do it all alone. Soon I was hunting, small animals. But one day something attacked my little sister. Tore her leg clear off, I picked up my first sword that day and I did what I had to, to save my sister. Just luck has it be, life wasn’t easy. Ma got sick, sister healed but couldn’t walk. My brother and I had to provide. I took to towns betting mostly, I’m pretty good at Gwent if I say so. Come across a bit of oren. My brother was the monster hunter. They attacked our village often because of the smell of death each grave gave off. Once ma died I decided I would protect everything I knew too.” You shrug and glance up at the small patch of sky through the tree line.

“And your sister? Where is she now?” Jaskier asked leaning in for the story. He was very interested in the new travel companion, Geralt was never this talkative.

“Dead.” You speak softly, before throwing more sticks on the fire. “Brother was all I had left after she passed last winter. Part of me hoping he’s still alive somehow. Though I know he isn’t.” You stretch over your head before letting out a yawn. You had all but blocked out emotions from your family matters. It had been a while and you were better off on your own anyway. No one to care about or miss.

“I’m sorry,” Jaskier whispered before putting a hand on your shoulder. You stare at it for a moment before shrugging it off. He didn’t take it the wrong way, moving his hand back to his lap.

“It’s fine. All the more reason to kill the creatures.” You hum, you had been numb for a while to all this. Not like they would understand anyway. Not like they knew what you really were. Most of the story had been true, though the monsters at first. They weren’t beasts like the one you hunt now. They were humans, mostly men. See what your hired monster killers didn’t know is that you were an elf. You hid it will. Passing off as a sorceress explained your magick and a simple concealing spell hid your ears. Soon you could go back to your home and live out the rest of your days avoiding humans. Just had to stop that harpy first.

“Where’d you learn magick?” Jaskier asked then followed up with “And why’d you use it on me in the first place?“ He wasn’t used to having magic used on him. Geralt knew some but never once used it on him. Yennefer had to heal him but that was a whole didn’t story.

You chuckled at first before looking over at him. “The brotherhood,” You lied easily before smirking. “You weren’t my first choice. I was looking for The Witcher. Though he was suspicious of me, weren’t you?” Your eyes turn to Geralt as you offer a charming smile.

“No normal lady buys free drinks for strangers, especially without speaking first.” His rough voice was almost like music to your ears however you didn’t let it phase you. Sure he was big and handsome. But Witchers have no feelings, they only care about money.

“Well If you hadn’t left the party so soon I would have gladly explained my job to both of you. But Jaskier had other intentions didn’t you?” You smirk looking over the bard before winking.

“Hey! You came on to me! She came on to me Geralt!” Jaskier tries to explain looking to his friend. Although he did play a part in everything. She had made the first move.

“Hmm,” Geralt grunts with an eye roll.

You chuckle softly before smirking. “Relax. I just wanted to make sure you got some needed sleep before this journey. Though looking back. You’re not much of a monster hunter are you?”

“Uh..no.” Jaskier looked away before faking a yawn. “I’m going to bed have fun you two.” And with that, he was heading a bit away from the fire to sleep.

Not much was said for a while. Just glances at each other before he spoke. “Just don’t get killed. I want to get paid.” The Witcher grumbled.

“That’s the plan. You don’t get killed either. Don’t wanna be known as the one who got a Witcher killed.” You glance at him through the flame as it flickered quickly before you looked away. Okay, maybe the Witcher was pretty hot but still. You needed to get a grip. Not like the two of you would ride off into the sunset on his horse. Your dream of finding someone died with most of your people.

“Don’t worry.” He stood up before looking down at you and at this moment you felt incredibly small. “Get some rest. I’ll take the first watch. I know that’s on your mind.”

You don’t say a word as you stand up and look at him in a different light. Before nodding and then glancing at where Jaskier was laying down. “But I’m not sleeping with him.” You smirk before heading to a nearby tree and leaning against it. Suddenly your eyes feel heavy and you’re quickly drifting off into sleep.

Geralt keeps watching overnight. Though he is mostly watching you. The way your flowing H/C locks frame your face. The soft steady beat of your heart. And your willingness to run off and try and slay this monster yourself. For a human you had guts and he couldn’t wait to see you with a sword.

He already thought he was going soft because of Jaskier. Now another human he could grow to care about? What was all this becoming? He did his best not to think of it as he watched the fire dance in the night. A few hours later you woke up and noticed Geralt was gone. You feared he had runoff. You quickly checked your pockets but nothing had been stolen and as you focused your gaze pass the fire you saw Jaskier still laying on the ground sound asleep.

Suddenly a hand on your shoulder made you jump. Quickly another flew to your mouth before your eyes met familiar Amber ones. “Didn’t mean to startle you.” But the smirk on his face said otherwise.

You pulled his hand from your mouth and rolled your eyes. “a simple hello wouldn’t have done that.” You lean back against the tree noticing the softness of the black night sky. “Sun’s rising soon. We best be on the way. Not much further.” You stood up and brushed yourself off.

“Jaskier will wait here with Roach. We will continue on our own.” He spoke before going to wake his friend and tell him.

As soon as you two were getting ready to leave you walked over to Jaskier and placed a hand on his forehead. “Beri- na- os- cin.” You whisper as a soft blue light admits from your hand.

“Geralt…?” Jaskier whispers looking to his friend who didn’t seem alarmed.

“Relax. It’s a spell to hide you and protect you from everything else in this forest. Do not worry though. I’d bet my life on that spell. And have many times.” You pat his cheek roughly before strapping your sword to your hip and bow to your back.

“Stay here Jaskier. And don’t make too much noise. We will be back come nightfall.” Geralt’s rough time warned him before starting up the rocky trail to the mountain top.

You followed behind not saying a word. Just fiddling with the handle on your sword.

“Hope you got silver.” His voice was softer and surprised you.

“Yeah. Forged from my mas old jewelry. Made her myself.” You pat your sword on your hip smiling slightly. You were quite proud of that. But soon nothing stood between you and the top of the mountain but an area of trees.

“Hell, we go. Right past these trees. She’ll be there hopefully asleep.” You whisper as you draw your bow ready for anything. Geralt draws his sword and you both creep out of the trees and up the small trail to the nest. Only when on top do you both realize the mistake you made.

Not only was there the harpy sound asleep but two more. Three in total and they were twice the size of you both. This was going to be a lot harder than you thought. Geralt glances to you before motioning you to creep to one side as he did to the other. Taking out two while they slept making the third easy.

Though what you didn’t expect was a soft wheezing sound from the far side of the Harpy’s nest. And a weak “help.” You crept along to see who or what was making noise and upon laying eyes on your brother he screamed for your help. The Harpy’s shot up just as Gerald was slashing at one of them.

You notched your arrow and fired but the harpy moved out-of-the-way just in time. Soon the two of you were standing in their nest back to back as they circled you. “well this wasn’t planned.” Geralt spoke to you and you nodded. You had to stay focused.

Geralt was soon caught in a slashing fight with a harpy before you could respond. You notched arrow after arrow firing at the two that still flew around you two. That was until your brother cried out as one of the Harpy’s was trying to pick him up in her claws.

“GET AWAY FROM HIM YOU BITCH,” Yout shouted sword now drawn as you ran towards it. Swinging your blade at it with pose and slicing off one of its wings. It recoiled in pain and shrieked at you.

While being distracted the other swooped in and gashed your arm and thigh with its huge claws. You cried out in pain and dropped your sword. Geralt had managed to kick back the harpy before running over to you. “Get out of here kid. I got this.” He growled before knocking the already wounded Harpy’s head off.

“No!” You shouted picking up your sword in your other hand and standing with your back to your bother. “COME AT ME, YOU SORRY BITCHES.” You cried out sword pointed to the sky. Another harpy swooped and you swung at it missing. Tears covered your cheeks as your brother screamed for you to leave him.

Geralt managed to fight one-off giving it a gash on its foot before backing up towards you. “Kid leave now. I don’t get paid if you die, remember?” He yelled at you his amber eyes were something furious now.

You shook your head no and swung your sword again but the Harpy’s claws hit your shoulder with another gash. You cried out in pain and dropped to your knees.

Geralt turned towards you and got surprise-attacked by the one he had wounded. Pinned to the ground as the harpy tried to sink her claws into him. The other heading for your brother again. This was it. Your last few seconds and you had to make it count.

You dropped your sword, “GET OUT OF HERE KID.” Geralt yelled as he tried to hold off the harpy.

You got to your feet and slowly lifted your damaged arm and other. Both palms to the sky as you screamed out “Rost naur!!” And fire shot out of your palms as you screamed. Your hair coming undone and falling against your shoulders. Your eyes shut as you merged the flames into a dome and let them burn the harpy above you to dust. Then with one quick move, you shot your hand out at the one on top of Geralt and screamed “Torth- -o cín faer!!” And ripped the harpy in two.

Blood crashing down and drenching Geralt. He got up and watched as you were about to drop. And was there to catch you as your legs gave out. “Easy now.” He whispered.

You rested against his chest for a moment before a surge of power ran through you and left to the sky in blazing orange light. Your appearance slightly changing. Your eyes turning a soft orange your ears returning to their familiar pointed ones and your body covered in glowing light blue tattoos. You take one look at your hands before up at him.

“I have a job to finish.” You whisper and push out of his arms before he can say a word. You fall to your hands and knees crawling to your brother. Only then does he notice you and your brother’s features.

You’re face stained with tears and blood you take his hand and smile. “I never thought I’d see you again.” You whisper holding it close. Your brother smiles slightly, “Y/N, my Luna. I need you to follow through with our promise.” His voice was rough as he coughed up blood. At this point, you could see one of his arms was missing. His legs ripped opened and a hole in his midsection. Tears streamed down your face as you nodded.

“I love you, Rydel. Say hi to ma, pa, and Nuala for me.” You smile before caressing his face once more than going to your hip and pulling out your dagger and slicing his throat. Your hands going to the blood and drawing a symbol on his forehead before chanting “N- with mín kin in mán a faer.” Then setting your hands on his chest as a shooting solid blue light goes through his body. You fall backward everything going dark as his body burns in soft blue flames, the ashes dancing to the sky.

Geralt quickly grabs you in his arms looking over your wounds before carrying you down the mountain back to Jaskier without a word. Once Jaskier sees the two of you he freaks out. He runs over following the two of you like a lost puppy.

“Y/N!! She’s an elf!?” He nearly shouts as Geralt lays her almost lifeless body on the ground. Jaskier instantly puts a hand to your cheek, he was just starting to get used to you around.

“Doesn’t matter. Get my bag.” He spoke softly as he moved your hair and ripped your shirt off your shoulder, stitching you up the best he could at the moment. At least you wouldn’t bleed to death. But it was going to be a long trip back.

Chapter 3

[addierose444]

Back to Campus: Spring 2021

It has been 10 long months since I last stepped foot on the Smith College campus (or out of my home state for that matter). I am now officially back! Hooray! As I said in a recent post, I was prioritized for early arrival due to my job in ResLife as a Community Advisor. As I only just got here and am far from being settled in, this post is mostly just about the process. Hopefully this year I will actually post a room tour of sorts! (Last year, I literally only posted a photo of my emptied out room).  

Back in mid-December, I signed up for an arrival slot (2:00 on Friday the 22nd of January). I was so excited about returning to campus that I started packing quite a while ago. To make the packing process easier in the future, I created an extensive packing list. To read my college essentials guide, click here. On Friday, my dad drove me to Smith. Before returning to campus, we stopped by the house of some family friends to grab the rest of my dorm essentials. Since Massachusetts considers my state (Vermont) high-risk, I wasn’t allowed to move directly into my spring housing. At this point in time, Massachusetts and Hawaii are the only states with low-risk status. 

My house, Parsons, has been using Discord for our virtual house community. You can read about the other apps I use in (remote) college here. As I was the first one on campus, I decided to keep my residents updated on the check-in and quarantine process. This was not part of my job in ResLife, but it definitely felt relevant to that work. Even though I am a returning student and in ResLife, I didn’t fully know what to expect and figured others would appreciate a student’s perspective. I was already planning on writing this blog post but decided to just compile my updates here. For starters, I didn’t see the need for a total rewrite. I also thought it would be a fun and different post style. Lastly, I think there is value in knowing what people are thinking in the moment rather than just reflectively. Note that my updates are written to my Parsons residents and weren’t edited to reflect the audience of this blog. I did add some additional images to this blog post, but most were also sent via Discord.

Friday @ 1:19

Parsons in real life! 

Friday @ 4:07

Just a quick update. I have moved into my quarantine location and thought I would let you all know a little more about the check-in process from a student's perspective. All official information can be found in an email titled "IMPORTANT ARRIVAL INFORMATION". You basically just enter the CC, present your OneCard (unless you are a new student in which case you will receive yours), follow the arrows, and do what you are told. The whole process is quick and easy. The COVID test is painless (you can feel it though) as the swab doesn't need to go super deep into your nose like with other tests. While I strongly advise showing up at your scheduled time, if you are a little bit early, you may be able to check-in anyway. (I checked-in about 20 minutes early without an issue). The only hiccup I had was that I got the wrong room key (my correct room number but for Park House). As it's hard to hear people with masks on, be sure to check the envelope containing your room key and bracelet before leaving the ResLife table (to avoid going around the CC for a second time like I had to). I think check-in will only get better and even going around twice was still very quick and easy. If you have concerns and would like to talk to me about them, feel free to send me an email or direct message me here on Discord. As for moving things into Parsons, it was exhausting as no one was allowed to help me. When you arrive at Parsons, someone (possibly me) should be there to greet you (and make sure you don't stay over an hour). (Some of you may also meet me in the CC as I will be helping distribute keys). See you soon! 

Friday @ 5:02

As for the quarantine location, I am currently quarantined in the Ellery Inn. The other location is the Fairfield Inn & Suites. You can get to either location by way of a free shuttle. (Your ticket is the bracelet you receive at check-in). Students sit far apart with masks, but I personally felt more comfortable having my dad drop me off at the hotel. It is also worth noting that both hotels are within walking distance. The bracelet is also important so that staff in the house know you are allowed to be there. (If you have approved guests (low-risk state), I think they also get bracelets). I haven't learned the whole color-coding system, but my bracelet is red and lists my Parsons and Ellery rooms. My quarantine room is actually really nice. I have a comfortable king-sized bed and my own bathroom. When you arrive you get a bag with a few snacks, water, activities from OSE, and general information (including the wifi password). I will keep you posted on the food situation as dinner is yet to arrive. I will momentarily post the menu that was in my welcome bag. Hopefully, these updates are somewhat helpful or interesting. Let me know if you have specific questions.  

Friday at 5:15

Still waiting on dinner (to be delivered before 7), but here are the aforementioned snacks.

Friday @ 5:34

Dinner! Will let you know how it is soon, but my roommate from last year has said "The chicken is very tender!". Basically what happens is the people delivering the food knock loudly on the door, announce "dinner" and leave paper bags outside your room. Breakfast for tomorrow was also delivered.

Friday @ 6:18

I was initially quite worried about the food situation (during quarantine) as I am a picky eater and didn't get to choose the meal. (It's all based on the food preference form). The first dinner was much better than I feared. The chicken had flavor, was tender, and was fully cooked. The greens were also tasty. The potatoes could have used some ketchup but were pretty good when eaten with the chicken. I don't really like beets, so I just ate a few to try them. They didn't have much flavor but were well cooked. As for the cookies, they had good flavor but were very hard. Overall, I was unnecessarily worried about the food situation but am definitely excited to get out of quarantine to pick my own food among other things.

Friday @ 6:26

Tomorrow's breakfast! Looks pretty good other than the fact I hate bananas. I am most excited about the vanilla soy milk. I just don't get why we get plastic bottled water at each meal.

Saturday @ 11:51

Lunch for day two in quarantine has arrived. Another gripe that I have is that we get a new full set of plastic silverware at each meal. It's the compostable kind, but I don't think it's going to be composted. So far quarantine is boring, but not that bad. There is a TV in the room with cable and Roku. Make sure you pack your quarantine bag carefully as you cannot leave your room until you get an official release email from ResLife. The rooms (at least mine) have a mini-fridge, so if you have food or medications that require refrigeration, not to worry. We got an email today saying that we will be released on Monday at the latest. I initially had the impression we'd get out on Sunday and yesterday it sounded like we may get out today. I am obviously hoping to get out sooner rather than later, but I'll just have to wait and see.

Saturday @ 5:57

Dinner day two. Even though I have been busy with a French essay, I am definitely getting restless here in quarantine.

Saturday @ 6:38

Yesterday's dinner was better than today's, but this one wasn't too bad. The tortillas were dry, so the meal was better and less messy without them. My main critique is that while the beef had good flavor, it was tough. I also think yesterday's greens were a little bit better. Here's what I got for tomorrow's breakfast. I am hoping to be released from quarantine tomorrow, but it could be as late as Monday. Quarantine releases are at noon or 4 pm.

Sunday @ 9:15

I passed my initial COVID screening! (Still waiting on my official release email from ResLife). Just for a reference point, I took my test a little before 2 pm on Friday and got the results email at around 11 last night. (Basically, you get an email letting you know that the lab results are available and are given a registration code to set up your account).

Sunday @ 11:45

Well, I am still in quarantine, but at least lunch has arrived. Noon is fast approaching, so I might not be getting released until 4.

Sunday @ 12:33

I finally received the official release email from ResLife!!! I can leave as soon as 1 pm and must be moved out by 4 pm. Like with arrival, there are shuttles every half hour. Starting tonight I will be ordering my food through the Grubhub app and picking it up myself. I also have another COVID test scheduled for tomorrow.

Sunday @ 1:17

I am officially back at Parsons! (I decided to walk instead of taking the shuttle). Feel free to continue asking questions, but I think this is the end of my arrival updates. See you soon!

[puddygeeks]

Wᴇ Cᴏᴍᴇ Rᴜɴɴɪɴɢ - Tʜᴇ 100 Bᴇʟʟᴀᴍʏ x OC - Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 63 - Eʏᴇ Oғ Tʜᴇ Sᴛᴏʀᴍ

Masterlist

Episode: Wanheda: Part One

Rating: Mature

Summary: During her time in the Skybox, Indigo formed a precious friendship with fellow outcast Octavia Blake, the girl under the floor. At first they thought their departure from the oppression of the Ark was a blessing, but quickly came to rely on Indigo's keen survival instincts. The 100 struggle to meet the challenges of Earth whilst Bellamy strives to lead the wavering teenagers and his irresponsible attitude fuels constant conflict with Indigo. Their only shared interest is in protecting Octavia and Indigo beings to suspect that there is a deeper cause to Bellamy's seemingly irrational choices. As the consequences of his actions mount up around him, he finally begins to confide in her and she discovers more than she ever bargained for.

Fandom: CW’s The 100

Pairing: OC x Bellamy Blake

LONG TERM ONGOING PROJECT :)

My writing is entirely fuelled by coffee! If you enjoy my work, feel free to donate toward my caffeine dependency: will work for coffee

Warnings: Mature content. Non-consent, language, sex, self harm, suicide, anxiety, helplessness, torture, captivity/confinement, alcohol/drug use.

Chapter Sixty-Three

The ride home was tense and silent, as we pushed the horses to their limits and I kept prompting Jasper to ensure that he remained conscious. It was difficult to keep my mind from wandering in the time that our journey took and I couldn’t help fretting over what kind of threat Bellamy and the boys could have been pulled into now. 

As the gates came into view, I slapped the reins one last time, desperate to reach Abby whilst Jasper remained clinging to me and was unreliably frustrated to find them still closed as we arrived.

“Open the gates!” Raven yelled from the horse barely seconds ahead of me and I could hear the gears of the mechanism clanking.

“We told them to be ready for us! We don’t have the time for this.” I growled, fidgeting impatiently on the horse and I felt Jasper begin to slide to one side, as if he were about to fall. I leaned around just in time to catch him and struggled to reposition him with my hands behind my back. 

“Hold on! We’re almost there. Just a few minutes longer, Jasper. Please.” I bargained, willing him to fight the exhaustion that I knew his blood loss would be causing and he groaned in return. The moment that there was a large enough gap to fit through, I rushed inside with the girls close on my tail and Octavia immediately hopped off her horse to untie Jasper.

“Jasper’s hurt. What took you so long?!” Octavia yelled furiously as she supported him to the ground with some strain and I quickly slid down to assist. Together, we managed to keep him upright for long enough to lean him against the fence for stability and I almost burst into tears in relief as I noticed Abby and Jackson running over to meet us.  Abby wasted no time in peeling back the shoddy bandaging that I had managed to wrap around Jasper’s neck to examine the damage and grimaced at the wound beneath it.

��Oh! What happened?” She breathed, her face growing pale at the sight of the depth of the injury and Octavia and I glanced at each other awkwardly, silently attempting to decide who would explain. Abby tapped her foot impatiently as she fixed us with a firm stare and Octavia cleared her throat to take responsibility for relaying events.

“Ice Nation.” She answered quietly and Abby’s brows shot up in shock at the mention of them. The doctor returned her gaze to Jasper’s neck attentively and I furrowed my brows at Octavia in accusation. I had expected her to provide a full report, or at least some minimal details on Jaspers outrageous behaviour today, but instead she simply shook her head at me subtly. Though I could understand that this wasn’t the best time for it, I was tired of covering up the issues that he caused and could easily have launched into a full rundown of the events of the day, with recommendations on possible consequences for the incredible risks that were taken. Before I had the chance, Jackson rushed to Abby’s side and she began handing Jasper over to him.

“Get him to Medical.” She instructed, holding his throat with a concerned grip and Jackson wrapped one arm over his shoulder to steady him. 

“I got you. Keep pressure on it.” He advised nervously, before flashing me a reassuring smile as he guided him away and I felt comforted by knowing that Jasper was in safe hands. Although I was immeasurably angry with him for his careless choices, my heart ached at the sight of him in such a dangerous condition and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to fully calm myself down until Jackson or Abby told me that he would be fine. Abby approached me with a hint of hope in her eyes and I prepared myself for the question that I knew was coming. 

“Clarke?” She asked in a small, hopeful voice and I felt guilt crushing my chest. Though I’d known what was coming, it was still challenging to hear and I gulped as I prepared myself to answer.

“I’m sorry. Not today.” I revealed in a gentle tone and I watched as her face fell in disappointment. It had become a painful routine for her to ask every time that we returned home whether we’d made any headway in finding Clarke and though I understood her need to check, I hated the way that delivering the bad news each time made me feel. 

“We’ll find her, Abby. Eventually, we will.” I added encouragingly, placing a hand on her arm and she managed a strained smile in response. In truth, I wasn’t sure that we would be able to deliver on this promise to seek out her missing daughter. Clarke was unlikely to allow us to seek her out unless she was ready to be found, but I’d come to care for Abby and that meant that if there was anything that I could do for her, I would. Bellamy seemed similarly affected by her desperation to find her daughter and I was beginning to struggle to tell whether his determination to complete this mission was truly for Abby, or for his own peace of mind. There was still a niggling doubt in the back of my mind that he was hiding something from me and his comment about guilt in our recent argument continued to trouble me.

“Os oukou.” [Nice jacket] Octavia’s sharp voice pulled me from my thoughts and I turned to face her with confusion. I followed her line of sight to Lincoln, who was wearing the guard jacket that Bellamy had gifted him this morning and grimaced at his choice. I hadn’t even noticed him approaching amid the chaos and as I brought my gaze back to Octavia, I realised that she wore a hurt expression, as if she’d been deeply betrayed. She turned away from Lincoln without another word and I flashed him a sympathetic smile. 

“You want me to take them?” She called over to Raven as she grasped the reins of her horse and it was clear from the sharpness of her movements that she had no intention of discussing her feelings at the moment. I sighed as I racked my mind for a way to keep the peace between the couple and whilst I struggled to produce any ideas, Raven shook her head hastily in response to Octavia’s offer of help.

“It’s okay. I’ll-I’ll bring her in.” Raven grumbled in a delicate but determined voice and my focus remained closely on Octavia as I tried to catch her arm before she could storm away.

“Oktaivia, hod op.” [Octavia, wait] I blurted in an attempt to prevent her from leaving things unspoken, but she pulled her arm quickly from my reach to march the horse back to the stable and I glanced back at Lincoln with a shrug. Though I wanted to help, I had to acknowledge that their relationship wasn’t mine to maintain and I had already given my advice this morning, which he had clearly chosen to ignore.

“You can’t get down. Can you?” 

I jumped at Abby’s words, whipping away from watching Octavia’s back as she stalked toward the stable and thinned my eyes at Raven just in time to find her subtly shaking her head. As she confirmed her dilemma, I was almost crushed under the weight of my shame for not noticing and wasted no time in joining Abby in assisting her to the ground. She groaned as her leg bent up in an unnatural angle from the restriction to her flexibility caused by her brace and I knew that Abby had noticed it too. 

“Thanks.” She muttered bitterly, hardly able to get the word out through her will to be independent and I could hardly contain the sympathy that filled my face. I knew that she would be furious if she noticed it, but I had been deeply worried about her health for months and I couldn’t bury it no longer.

“Raven-”

“I’m good.” She asserted in a gritty tone, cutting off Abby’s worried speech before she could even get past her name and I felt a pang in my chest as she turned to take the horse stubbornly. After studying her closely for months, I could recognise that there was a more significant limp to her gait now that there had been when we were first reunited and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Abby examining her movements. I was torn between all of my loved ones, as they rapidly spiralled all around me, but before I could make a decision on who to follow, Abby turned to face me with a scrutinising look and I gulped under the intensity of her stare. 

“She’s in pain. Isn’t she?” She interrogated, studying me with a perceptiveness that I knew was impossible to escape and I felt conflicted between my loyalty for Raven and my commitment to her best interests. After chewing my lip in silent deliberation for a few moments, I sighed thoughtfully.

“Yes. For at least a few weeks now, but I suspect that it’s closer to a month or two.” I confessed reluctantly and Abby cursed under her breath. 

“That girl is too stubborn for her own good.” She muttered and I nodded in agreement, a fond smile spreading across my lips at the accuracy of her statement. Abby placed her hands on her hips in frustration and I couldn’t help sympathising for her predicament. “Well, I suppose I’d better help Jackson with my next difficult patient.” She sighed as she stepped toward the Ark entrance and I fell into step beside her without a second thought. 

“Can I join you?” The question fell from my mouth before I had even considered it and she glanced over at me in confusion. “Jasper might be an ass, but he’s family. I’d feel better being nearby. I promise that I’ll stay out of your way.” I rambled, wringing my hands together nervously and Abby easily noticed my distress. 

With the remainder of our squad out of camp and heading into the unknown, paired with the struggles of the rest of my family, I was particularly on edge. I could feel anxiety seeping into every one of my movements and Abby smiled sympathetically as she nodded at me. I knew she understood that Bellamy was my stabilising element and that without him, I was struggling to keep myself from crumbling under the stress.

She paused on the spot to take my hand in hers and I widened my eyes at the sudden contact.

“Bellamy will be fine. He’s a very capable young man and he’s with Marcus. They’ll come home. You just wait and see.” She advised soothingly and I smiled at her in appreciation. I had to remind myself of the new techniques that I’d learned from Arlo and gave my independent nature a much needed kickstart. “Now, as long as you promise not to make things any more difficult than they undoubtedly will be already, you can stay with me whilst I get your other troublemaker patched up.” She commented playfully and I remained on her heels as we navigated our way to medical. 

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙』── ✦ ── ❖

Abby relegated me to the waiting area after I kept pacing around the cubicle and instead of relaxing, I’d begun circling a dent into the flooring here. The patients that were waiting to be seen were also becoming frustrated with my nervous behaviour and I avoided meeting their eyes, feeling unable to leave the unit until I could be assured that Jasper was safe.

I’d lost track of how many times Jackson had given me a judgemental look for my continued presence as he called through the next patients and when he appeared in the cramped space again, he finally cracked a smile.

“Indigo? You’re next.” He announced with an exasperated sigh and though my brows furrowed with confusion, I followed him obediently. I stepped into an empty cubicle and my stomach lurched in dread, whipping around to face Jackson with my hands trembling. “If you’re going to insist on staying, you may as well let me change your implant whilst you’re here.” He explained with an air of efficiency and I released a breath that I didn’t even realise I had been holding. For a few heart-breaking moments, I feared that he was about to deliver news that would change my life forever and I could hardly even process his words through my relief. “It’s been about three months since Abby administered it. You must be due a replacement anyway.” He added as he began preparing supplies and I rolled my eyes at his eagerness. Though I liked Jackson, everytime that I saw him seemed to result in some kind of procedure or another, even if I hadn’t sought him out myself.

“You know, it feels like every time that I see you, you want to stab me with a needle. How come we never just hang out?” I teased with a wry smile and he shook his head at me with a chuckle. He gestured for me to sit on the gurney in the centre of the room and I shuffled awkwardly on the spot. “Come on, Jackson. I hate having these things.” I groaned, fidgeting further away from him in apprehension and he paused in the middle of his preparations to glance up at me with amusement.

“Believe me. You’ll hate having a baby on Earth much more, especially considering the state that this planet is in.” He stated in a manner that seemed as if he had used this excuse to convince many other young people and I sighed, remaining stubbornly stood up. “That risk is particularly high considering how much you and Bellamy are at it. From what I’ve heard-”

“Okay!” I blurted, waving my hands manically to halt him as my face glowed gloriously red and my skin could almost blend in with my hair. “Okay.” I mumbled as I slid into the seat and Jackson smiled smugly at me. It was a low blow, even if completely effective and I despised knowing that there was still gossip circulating around camp about Bellamy and I. By now, I would’ve expected people to have lost interest in our relationship, but I suspected that my absence had refuelled the curiosity of many girls in camp who were all too keen to replace me.

“It’s impossible to live in this camp and not know who’s involved with each other. Although, you two do tend to be the most commonly discussed pairing.” Jackson remarked with a barely contained devious attitude and I was amazed at his ability to gossip and work at the same time. After my many invasive conversations with Monty, I was beginning to realise that it was always the quiet ones who traded information like fishwives and I could hardly withstand another meddling man in my business.

“It’s hard not to draw attention when you’re involved with someone who has a dedicated fan club who are all praying for your downfall.” I commented bitterly, tired of the speculation and judgement that seemed to follow me everywhere, and Jackson quirked a brow at me. “I’m honestly just waiting for the day that one of these bitches tries to take me out.” I added, scrunching my nose up playfully and Jackson cackled in delight at my cattiness.

“Well. Bellamy’s not the only one with a waiting list, you know.” He divulged with mischief glittering in his eyes and I stared at him in utter disbelief, waiting for the punchline. When he didn’t deliver one, I spluttered at the ridiculousness of the thought and couldn’t help feeling as if I were being lured into some kind of trap. 

“Oh, please! Who the hell is waiting around for me?! Other than maybe some of the old men who’d just love any young bit of stuff desperate enough to take them.” I remarked dismissively and Jackson frowned at my words. “I’m more likely to have a queue of people waiting to kick the shit out of me for running my mouth than anything else.” I added with a raw insecurity that I hadn’t meant to reveal and Jackson placed down his tools to fix me with a serious, offended stare.

“You are a beautiful woman, Indigo. I won’t stand here whilst you berate yourself. Bellamy is very lucky to have you. He’d better realise that.” He asserted, maintaining a suffocating eye contact the entire time and I squirmed in discomfort at his compliment. Seeming content that he’d shared his thoughts, he resumed his work and I kept my gaze trained on my hands. “Besides, I happen to know that there are several others who would be pleased to take you off his hands if he doesn’t.” He added with a cheeky wink and my gaze shot back up to him with shock. At this point, I was unsure if he was simply attempting to embarrass me in order to distract me from the squeamish task of changing my implant, or if he was genuinely being truthful, and I was unsure if I actually wanted to know either way.

“You’re so full of crap.” I grumbled, fidgeting in place and he slapped my knee gently to scold me for moving whilst he tried to work. 

“I’m absolutely not, but I’m afraid that I can’t name any names. I’m not the type to kiss and tell.” He remarked in a low voice and I chuckled, shaking my head at him to indicate that I didn’t believe his excuses. A few moments of silence passed whilst he finished up the task and placed down the equipment. “All I can say is that one of them shares your charming hair colour.” He hinted and I felt my stomach flip at this clue. Monroe’s nervous face filled my mind, smiling at me shyly and I felt a rosy blush spread across my cheeks. “You’re all done. I’m just going to grab a dressing from the supply cupboard. Stay there.” He instructed, before rushing from the room and leaving me to obsess over the new information.

The more that I considered what Jackson had told me, the more sense it made for him to have been referring to Monroe and I was intensely uncomfortable with this knowledge. I knew that the next time I saw the girl would likely be unbearably awkward as a result and I resolved not to mention this to anyone else, unwilling to fuel the rumour mill any further. 

There was a commotion from outside and I waited obediently for a few moments, before Jackson’s voice made my heart skip a beat.

“Jasper, wait!”

I shot to my feet and although every ounce of my body wished to run out to investigate, I wobbled on the spot with lightheaded-ness. The very minor procedure had caused my legs to shake and I scolded myself for being so sensitive. After all of the blood and wounds that I had seen down here, it was ridiculous to get this sick over a simple implant and by the time that my vision cleared enough for me to move, Jackson entered the cubicle in a fluster.

“Oh, not you too. Does anyone here listen to me?” He muttered, attempting to usher me back to the gurney but I held my ground sternly. “Alright. Let me just pop this on before you go bulldozing out there.” He conceded, busying himself with placing the dressing on my upper arm and I tapped my foot impatiently. “He’s already left anyway. Abby made him promise to come back in the morning. I should really check your ribs too before you go.” He informed, but the moment that he finished pressing the adhesive into place I tore out into the hall. Unfortunately, he was right that I had missed Jasper and instead I stumbled into a rather tense conversation between Raven and Abby.

“Maybe if you weren’t so busy being Chancellor and doctor to avoid your own pain, you’d realise that you suck at both jobs.” Raven spat as I emerged and Abby’s expression fell to one of hurt, as she was lost for any words to use in response. I paused awkwardly just out of their sight and though I felt guilty for eavesdropping, I wanted to check whether Raven would finally confide in her about the medical needs that she was currently burying. Without warning, she glanced to her side to notice me waiting for Abby and adjusted the bag on her shoulder with aggravation. “Good talk.” She drawled, before storming away and leaving Abby staring into the distance solemnly. I cleared my throat to make her aware of my presence and she quickly attempted to compose herself, before gesturing to me to approach.

“Jasper will need to attend a check-up in the morning. Think you can make sure that he comes?” She asked and I nodded back vigorously. “Good. Provided he doesn’t get an infection, he should make a full recovery.” She explained hurriedly, as if attempting to rush me away and I smiled at her sympathetically.

“I know that it’s hard, but try not to take it personally. She attacks everyone nowadays. Admitting weakness is a struggle for her, you know?” I advised , ensuring that I smiled at her supportively and as the words left my mouth, I realised that I was able to understand Raven so well because of our similarly poor methods of managing our problems. “And you don’t suck. I’m proud of the changes you’ve made to how we do things. You add some much needed compassion to the Chancellor’s role. You’re just...overworked. Let me know if I can do anything to help.” I added soothingly and was glad when her shoulders dropped some of the tension caused by the dual pronged attack of Raven and Jasper.

It took awhile for me to track Raven when I finally left the unit, checking all of her usual haunts with no success and I was about to resort to asking Gina when I noticed her heading into a backroom of engineering. I promptly followed her inside and flinched as she began noisily unpacking tools. I cleared my throat as I entered and she turned to roll her eyes over her shoulder at my timid smile. 

“Oh, great. You next in line to tell me how obvious it is that I’m not managing? Cause I’m pretty over my quota for concerned conversations for the day.” She muttered bitterly, aggression radiating off of her in waves and though I hadn’t expected to find her in a positive mood, I was unsettled by how furious she still seemed. I had intended to investigate the cause of her outburst with Abby, but quickly decided to attempt to distract her instead of directly confronting the issue when she was this wound up.

“No, actually. I’m here to discuss a mutual problem of ours. You saw the way that Jasper reacted to being held hostage earlier, right?” I presented, genuinely needing to discuss the events of the day anyway to confirm that I hadn’t imagined them and decided that this might be a simpler way to ease her into honesty. Usually, I could depend on her to share a similar opinion to mine, planning to prompt her to turn her reflections of Jasper on herself and in defiance of all my expectations, she seemed to be only further frustrated by this tactic.

“Fuck Jasper.” She growled, making her best attempt to seem thoroughly disinterested in the topic that I’d offered and I raised my brows at her cold response. “I mean, he’s not the only person in camp with a hard life, you know. I get that Mount Weather was shitty for you all and I’ve obviously worked out that he cared about this Maya girl, but he only knew her for a couple of weeks. I was with Finn for basically my whole life and now he’s gone. You don’t see me attacking everyone.” She ranted, throwing tools around as she spoke and I couldn’t contain a judgemental expression from filling my face at her hypocritical statement.

“Funny that you should say that when you just went pretty hard on Abby back there.” I commented carefully and she turned to view me with a severe scowl.

“Wow. You’re so right. All my problems are solved by your incredible insight, Indie. Thanks!” She cheered in an uncomfortably sarcastic tone and I shuffled on the spot. The temper that burned in her eyes was a clear warning that I needed to tread carefully, but her words pushed my thoughts out of my mouth regardless.

“You’re suffering. We get it. But like you said, you’re not the only one, Raven. It doesn’t give you the right to treat everyone else like shit!” I scolded, crossing my arms with annoyance and she kicked a nearby workbench in anger. A heavy silence fell upon us, whilst deep breaths caused her chest to rise and fall dramatically and I could tell that she was considering my words as she paused from attacking. I chewed my lip as I attempted to think of something to say and forced myself to regain control, unwilling to be ruled by my emotions as I had been in the past. “You know, it’s okay if you ever want to talk about Finn. He was a big part of your life and now-”

“No. I don’t want to talk about it! Talking isn’t gonna bring him back, so what’s the point?!” She yelled, lashing out with her limbs in a fiery display of rage and I stepped back out of her reach. She tugged at her hair in stress and I was taken aback by how quickly our conversation had descended into chaos. “Everyone thinks that if they just say the right thing, or give the right advice then it’ll all be okay, but it’s not okay. Everything is fucked and we’re just stuck with it. So, what’s the point in complaining? We just have to drag ourselves through life until we eventually die.” She exclaimed, before turning to view me with her hands on her hips and it was clear that she was awaiting a response. I could feel my temper burning in my chest, but I pushed it down and refused to allow her to bait me into an argument.

“I don’t have the answers for you, Raven. Like everyone else, all I can do is be here for you.” I stated in an even tone and she scoffed loudly, shaking her head in annoyance as if my words were merely a copout. Though I could easily have gone head to head with her, tearing down her defences until she was forced to address the issue that she was hiding behind hurtful words, I knew that it would not be beneficial to either of us and instead I strived to deal with this matter as I felt Arlo would. “Speaking of everyone else, I think that you need to apologise to Abby.” I revealed, forcing my voice into a firmer tone as she examined me with a sense of disbelief and I held my ground, even though I felt as if I could wither under her gaze.

“Are you serious right now?” She spat, running her hands through her hair and I nodded back slowly, being careful not to further aggravate her with my movements when I knew that my words were already likely to do so. Despite knowing that she could be about to explode, I held my ground and continued to fight my anger away from the forefront of my mind.

“Yes. What you said was hurtful, especially considering how much she cares for you. Like you said with Jasper, we’ve all got our own shit going on and Abby is just doing the best that she can in these shitty circumstances.” I clarified, maintaining eye contact despite the fact that the rage in her deep brown irises made me squirm and her face grew dark as she absorbed my points.

“Get down off your high horse, Indigo. Who are you to tell anyone how to behave?” She spat, her anger bubbling into her words and I gritted my teeth with rage. Thoughts rushed through my mind at lightning speed, with cutting words preparing themselves to wander out of my mouth and it took all of my self control to remind myself that Raven was not truly deserving of receiving the brunt of my pent up emotions. I took a long, deep breath to calm myself and held my hands up in surrender.

“Look. I just came to let you know that I still have your back, even if you don’t want me to. That’s my opinion and you can take it or leave it. Just remember this: only your best friends will tell you when you’re being a bitch and right now, you are.” I added with a significant look, before turning on the spot to leave her alone before she could lead me into an attack that I would later regret.

❖ ── ✦ ──『✙』── ✦ ── ❖

The sky grew dark hours ago with no signs of the remaining boys that we had left on patrol, nor Kane, and we hadn’t heard anything over our comms to explain their absence. The room that I sat in was buzzing with activity, as people sorted through the most recent haul from Mount Weather and I nursed a drink with a rapidly growing feeling of anxiety. The conversation that I’d had with Bellamy this morning replayed in my mind and I began to realise that he would be unlikely to be home to read me to sleep tonight.

There was a deep sense of disappointment in my chest, as this wasn’t the first time recently that Bellamy had promised we would spend time together, only for him to get caught up with guard work. Though I understood his need to contribute to our new settlement, I wished that he could have developed an interest in growing food or implementing technology for camp, instead of fulfilling a role that put him at constant risk. It was less the unreliability of his position that bothered me, but rather the fact that I knew how badly things could go wrong outside of our walls and I hated being left to imagine what kind of misfortune could have befallen him this time.

I’d been told many times that the best way to deal with a burden like this was to share it and at many times in the past I had even reminded others of this advice, but I didn’t feel able to lean on anyone else at the moment. At least for the time being, I felt like a mother that was desperately clinging to her delicate family in an attempt to hold them together and I kept my focus firmly set on their needs, rather than tending to my own. 

Raven seemed to have calmed from our earlier talk, as she chatted to Gina and I was once again thankful for her steadying influence. As I watched her settling the anger that had earlier been thrown at me with a well practiced skill, I could still sense my own frustration bubbling away from the earlier comments and sipped at my drink in an attempt to quash it. Arlo’s techniques had enabled me to behave in a far more reasonable manner on the whole, but with so many conflicting emotions overwhelming my mind, it was difficult to manage them as I had been taught and I knew that on the inside, I was simply bottling them. All that I could do was pray that no one pushed me to the point that the bottle would smash and cause them to be drowned in it’s contents.

I watched as Abby wandered over to join Raven at the table and felt some of my stress melt away as they seemed to be having an amicable conversation over their drinks, under Gina's attentive guard. Glancing back down at my own beverage, I swilled the whisky in the cup and the deep hue of the fluid reminded me of Bellamy’s eyes. I sighed with worry, battling to keep the trauma of the past from creating nightmare hypothetical situations for me to obsess over, before downing the rest of it.

As I placed the empty cup back on the table, I noticed that Jasper had entered the space and was now barely being contained by Raven. I had intended to return to my quarters for the night, but as I witnessed the rage that burned in his face, my stomach flipped and I began to make my way over to them with a feeling of dread. As I neared, he escaped Raven’s grasp and pushed another young man who was assisting to inventory clothing.

“These belonged to people.” He spat as he snatched the fabric out of his hands and waved it in front of his face aggressively. He then threw it back at him, before turning his attention to the piano that Macallan was playing. “So did that piano.” He growled as he pointed to it in determination and before I could grasp him to keep him from making any rash moves, he charged towards it. “Grave robbers!”

He tackled Macallan from the seat with a wild amount of force, pinning him to the ground with his weight and I pushed my way past Raven to intervene. Macallan quickly threw him off, with Jasper's constant state of intoxication slowing his reflexes and as he struggled to his feet, his opponent pulled back his arm in preparation to strike. I dove between them and pushed the other boy back with a temper that pulsed from my core.

“Don’t even think about it!” I warned, gritting my teeth as I squared up to him and he hesitated for a moment as he considered me. The rage earlier bubbled up in my chest and although Jasper had been the cause of the confrontation, my protective nature overtook any reasonable part of my brain “You lay a single finger on him and I will paste you, shithead! Walk away while your legs still work.” I growled, startling even myself at the intensity of my words and Macallan looked as if he might faint from my threat. I could hardly believe that something this barbaric had fallen from my lips in response to such a minor scuffle and this allowed me to realise how deeply I still cared for Jasper, despite all of his shortcomings.

“Enough!” Abby yelled, staring between the boys with authority before her disappointed gaze landed on me. “Indie, calm yourself down and take your friend with you.” She instructed, giving me the chance to throw one final glare at the terrified boy, before I turned to find an older resident manhandling Jasper to contain him. I pushed him off of my friend without a single word and as Jasper met my eyes, his anger dissolved into apprehension.

“Walk. Now.” I spat in obvious frustration and for the first time in many months he didn’t challenge me, simply turning to stumble from the room with me closely behind to escort him. 

[indianarenew812]

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Buying Lightroom used to be simple. All you had to do was buy the full version of the program, and upgrade (if you wished) every time a new version came out. But ever since Adobe announced the Creative Cloud subscription service, photographers have been faced with two choices. You can still go for the standalone version, or you can buy Lightroom as part of a Creative Cloud monthly membership. But how do you know which is the best option for you? Read on to find out.

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Creative Cloud is announced

Adobe’s initial announcement of the Creative Cloud licensing concept was somewhat controversial as the price for a subscription to Photoshop ran at $20 a month (all prices in this article are in US dollars). For photographers who had already purchased the full version of Photoshop this represented a significant price increase. Not only was subscribing more expensive in the long run, compared to upgrading Photoshop regularly, but the license to use the software expired once monthly payments stopped.

There’s little doubt this was a raw deal, but Adobe listened and introduced a new package for photographers – a subscription to both Lightroom and Photoshop CC for $9.99 a month (or $119.88 per year).

Read about this on forums and photography websites and you will still come across a lot of negativity towards the Creative Cloud subscription model, especially from Photoshop users upset at the loss of a perpetual licence. But today, I aim to cut through this negativity and take an objective look at the differences between the two options.

Two types of Lightroom users

To start, we have to acknowledge that there are two types of Lightroom users.

The first uses Lightroom in conjunction with Photoshop and wants access to both programs. For this user, the Creative Cloud option is the only choice if you want the latest version of Photoshop CC. Alternatively, if you own a version of Photoshop CS and are not bothered about upgrading to Photoshop CC, you can buy the standalone version of Lightroom and use them together.

The second type of user carries out the bulk of their image processing in Lightroom. For tasks Lightroom can’t handle, they may use an older version of Photoshop, a less powerful program like Photoshop Elements, or a plug-in such as the Nik Collection or Perfect Photo Suite 9. These users may be wondering whether to continue using the standalone version of the software or to subscribe.

Financial considerations

If you are on a budget, and don’t need Photoshop CC, then it is definitely less expensive to buy the standalone version of Lightroom. At the moment a new version of Lightroom comes out approximately every 18 months. At $9.99 a month, the subscription service would cost you $179.82 over that period. If you are new to Lightroom, the full version (priced at $149 from the Adobe website) saves you money, and if you already own Lightroom, then the upgrade (priced at $79) is even less, saving you a little over $100 over the same time period.

As a standalone version user you get free upgrades until a full new version comes out. So, if you upgraded to Lightroom 5.0 when it first came out, you can upgrade to the latest version (5.7) for free, taking advantage of new features introduced since then. But when Lightroom 6 comes out, you will need to pay the upgrade fee to use it. Upgrading isn’t compulsory, and you can continue to use your earlier version of Lightroom as long as you want.

Adobe have stressed their commitment to continuing the standalone version of Lightroom for the foreseeable future.

Note:The standalone version of Lightroom is a little hard to find on Adobe’s website. You can get there by going to Adobe’s home page and clicking the Menu option at the top. Click the All Products button at the bottom, scroll down to Lightroom and click Buy. Or you can also find it here on Amazon.

What the Creative Cloud subscription gives you

The Creative Cloud subscription is more expensive, so what do you get for that extra money? The two headline features are Photoshop CC, a powerful image editing program that you are likely familiar with, plus access to Lightroom Mobile, a mobile version of Lightroom that works with iPads and iPhones (but not currently with devices using the Android or Windows operating systems).

There are several additional features that may interest some people, such as 2GB of online storage space, access to Lightroom Web and the ability to use Photoshop CC and Lightroom on multiple machines (although not at the same time).

What happens when the Creative Cloud license ends?

If you stop paying your subscription fee you no longer have the right to use the full versions of Photoshop CC and Lightroom. Photoshop will stop working completely (or at least until you renew the subscription).

But Lightroom is different. Bear in mind that with Lightroom your Raw files are untouched. The edits you make are stored in the Catalog. If you lose access to the Catalog, you lose access to all the edits you have made to your images, including all post-processing.

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Adobe doesn’t want that to happen, so it gives you partial access to Lightroom even if you cancel your Creative Cloud subscription. You have full access to the Library, Book, Print, Slideshow and Web modules. The Develop module is severely restricted (you can’t make any adjustments using the right-hand panels) and there is no access to the Map module.

Your Catalog remains intact, including any Collections you’re created and any changes to metadata, including ratings and keywords. So does your post-processing, and the ability to make basic edits to photo files using the Quick Develop panel. You can also export your photos any time you want.

You need to have Lightroom Version 5.5 or later installed for this to work.

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Conclusion

Hopefully you are now clearer about how the two ways of buying Lightroom differ, and which is best for you. If you want to use the most up to date version of Photoshop CC, or Lightroom Mobile, then the Creative Cloud subscription service is the choice for you.

However, if you don’t require the latest version of Photoshop CC, or Lightroom Mobile, then buying the standalone version is the least expensive way to go.

What do you think? Have Adobe got it right with the price and services offered for the Creative Cloud Photography plan? Do you use the Creative Cloud version of Lightroom or the standalone version? Please let us know in the comments.

Mastering Lightroom: Book Five – The Other Modules

My new ebook Mastering Lightroom: Book Five – The Other Modulesshows you how to use Lightroom’s powerful features to create fun and interesting projects using the Map, Book, Slide show, Print and Web modules. Whether it’s geotagging, putting together a photo book, printing your best photos or creating web galleries all the information (and inspiration) you require is right here.

[writinginstardust]

Taste of You

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Warnings: it’s a smutty one, oh and Nikolai says fuck

A/N: Fictober day 9, prompt “there is a certain taste to it”. Nikolai does not say that about what you might be thinking, I promise. I could not bring myself to even consider it. Anyway yeah, some mostly plotless Nikolai smut for you. It’s weird that I’v actually spent a lot of time writing smut about Nikolai but this is only the second smut fic for him I’ve published so far. I’ll get the rest of it done sometime...

Word Count: 1243

*

Two weeks we’d been at sea and I’d hated every minute of it. The rocking of the ship on the waves was nauseating at the best of times, let alone when a storm hit. It was cold, windy, smelly and wet. Safe to say I was not having a good time. I found myself wondering often why exactly I’d agreed to come with Nikolai on this ridiculous ‘quest’ of his, turning down the option to stay home and look after things in the comfort of Os Alta. Sure the paperwork and meetings would be boring but at least I’d be on dry land.

I was gazing out at the seemingly endless expanse of ocean when I felt a familiar presence slide up beside me. Warmth brushed against my side and I leaned into it. How was Nikolai still warm out here? 

“Enjoying the fresh air?” He asked.

“No. The air out here is disgusting. I can’t believe you spent years doing this.”

“I suppose there is a certain taste to it.”

“That taste is called danger and you are addicted.”

“I wouldn’t say addicted…” Nikolai tried to defend.

“I would,” Tamar called from across the deck. There were murmurs of agreement from everyone around.

“You see what you do (Y/N)? You turn my whole crew against me.”

“Oh don’t be so dramatic.” I leaned up and kissed him quickly. He didn’t let me pull away like I’d planned to though, wrapping his arms tight around me and kissing me more deeply. That was why I’d agreed to come with him, I remembered. Nikolai could be very persuasive and a couple of months without him had been a rather unpleasant thought.

“Are you bossing me around again?” He asked when he finally pulled away again.

“When am I not?”

“Well I can think of some times when the roles are reversed.” I knew exactly what he meant from the look on his face and felt heat flood my cheeks as he let his hands slip down slightly from my waist.

“If you’re planning to continue that, please go inside,” Tamar said in disgust as she walked past us.

“That sounds like an excellent idea to me,” Nikolai said with a smirk. “After all, it’s much too cold out here to do what I’ve got planned.” 

I shivered, not just from the cold on deck, and Nikolai’s expression turned smug. He took my hand and pulled me inside, walking hastily and purposefully to our quarters. The door had barely closed before he had me pressed up against it, his lips on my neck, hands pulling my hips flush against his. I tried to suppress the gasps as he worked his way up my neck and over my jaw, pausing when he reached my lips. Only for a moment though as his own impatience won out and his lips crashed down onto mine. He didn’t waste time and deepened the kiss almost immediately, sliding his tongue against mine and drawing a moan from me. I could feel him grow hard against me at the sound.

Hands slid from my hips to the button of my trousers and Nikolai deftly popped it open before letting a hand slip inside. I ripped my mouth away with a gasp, head knocking back against the door with a thud. Nikolai grinned, I could feel it where his mouth rested against my neck. He left kisses on every inch of skin he could reach while he worked his fingers against me, spurred on by the sounds I couldn’t keep contained. Soon enough though, he removed them again and I bit back a petulant whine. He could tell though and his smile was far to self-satisfied.

When he dropped to his knees before me, however, I felt any complaints I might have had die on my lips. He pulled my trousers and underwear down quickly and I kicked them off, allowing Nikolai to hook a leg over his shoulder at the same time. I thought he might tease, he usually did after all, so I was unprepared when his tongue flicked out against me. My moans couldn’t be stopped and my hands flew to his hair as control over my own body slipped from my grasp. It was okay though. Nikolai was there to support me.

He was unfairly good at this and he knew it. Within a couple of minutes I came with a choked-off scream of his name. I slumped back against the door as Nikolai slowly stood again and kissed me. I could taste myself on his tongue but it didn’t bother me at all anymore, especially when I could feel him undoing his own trousers. I swatted his hands away and finished off the job myself, wrapping my hand around him and enjoying the groan he let out in response. 

With his hands now free, he brought them to rest on my ass, squeezing in retaliation and making me gasp. They travelled further, gripping my thighs now.

“Jump,” he ordered in a low voice that shot lightning through me. I did and he pinned my back against the door as I wrapped my legs around his waist. Every inch of him pressed against me and it was overwhelming heat. I was all out of patience. I needed him. Shifting my hips, I lined up and slowly sank down on him. The stretch was perfect and we both let out moans when our hips met and I stilled for a moment.

“Fuck,” Nikolai breathed against my mouth before he closed the gap and kissed me. 

His first few thrusts were slow and made my head spin but before long he picked up the pace and turned me into a gasping mess. I clung to him and bit my lip to stifle the loud moans that wanted to escape when he changed the angle and made me see stars.

“No darling,” he whispered when he noticed my attempts. “I want to hear you.”

“But...the others...might hear,” I panted, interrupted by a couple of moans.

“I don’t care. Let them hear.” I did as he asked, I always would. His own moans and ragged breaths soon joined mine and the air became thick with them. It was a lustful melody that sang along to the rhythm of my heart and pulsed through my veins. It was too much. The symphony built to a crescendo and I cried out at the peak, feeling a sudden warmth and calm spread through me as everything crashed around me and I collapsed into Nikolai’s arms.

When I came back to myself, it was to the feeling of Nikolai’s heavy breaths against my skin and warm hands running idly up my sides. He moved and then I was being layed gently on the bed, still out of breath and barely registering anything as he settled beside me. A kiss was placed to my temple and, after a little blind fumbling, I took Nikolai’s hand and twined our fingers together. I grinned as a thought occurred to me.

“I thought you were going to boss me around?” I heard him shift and turned my head to meet his eyes.

“Oh we’re getting there. Round two?” I raised an eyebrow at his smug smile.

“Already?”

“Yes.”

“Well that’s impressive.”

“I always am. You ready to go?”

“Always am.” He grinned and shifted over me to kiss me again. I was in for quite the night.

*

Tag Lists: (send an ask if you want to be added!)

Everything: @wonderfilledness @writingbychelle @ad-astraaaa

Grishaverse: @chiefqueenenthusiast

[overplannedbutunnamednpc]

Ecstasy: 4, 31 Legacy: 13, 22 Zephyr: 19, 26!

Ecstasy

4. Things you said instead of “I love you”

“Where’re you getting off to so quickly, darling?”

It wasn’t as if Raini had never stayed the night before. Rather, Ecstasy was hoping that it had become something of a routine. Or if it wasn’t, Ecstasy was big enough to admit that she certainly wanted it to be. Not even for the reason of morning sex - though she did have to admit that there is something very gratifying about how good a mood Raini’s in one hour after waking versus one minute after waking.

“Motherfuckers,” comes the reply, which isn’t actually very surprising.

Ecstasy lies back down, her interest in waking up waning now that she’s got no real reason to stay in bed. “What do they have you doing, then, angel?”

Raini waves her hand vaguely. “The usual. Danger for the reason of doing good.”

“Mm. Classified, huh?” Ecstasy opens her eyes to watch Raini getting dressed, and finds herself sitting up. There’s a scar on her back, angry red, the kind of thing that healing magic was only able to patch up superficially, relying on Raini’s body to do the rest of the work while it went on its merry way to help out with the other deep cuts and breaks that would also have been life-threatening.

She finds herself reaching out to touch it, only interrupted by the curtain of fabric as Raini tugs her robes over her head. Ecstasy blinks, the image of the scar curdling her good humor as Raini pops the cork on the healing potion Ecstasy has so kindly left out on the vanity, Raini taking a few sips every time she comes over to clear away the hickies Ecstasy leaves every time. She imagines that it clears some of the redness of the scar, as well, but finds that her mood is still sour about the whole thing.

Regardless, Raini is responding, in the infuriatingly blasé way that Raini can respond when something either matters a lot or not at all. “And dangerous. I’d never bring you into it. Safer that way, etcetera. Plus Lent would hate it if you interfered.”

Ecstasy has to remind herself not to pout about this. Something about “danger” and “Raini” going together has started to ruffle her feathers, and seeing the physical evidence of that when Raini was meant to be staying way back and being protected by her party -

Well. Anyway.

“You wound me, princess,” Ecstasy says, and lets Raini get her put-upon sigh out of the way before continuing, “Sure you can’t be a few minutes - well, maybe a few hours late?”

She watches Raini turn around, probably intending to give a very clear negative, but then again, Ecstasy cuts a pretty nice figure sprawled across the bed, naked with her tail flicking in something Raini doesn’t have to know is frustration at the ‘danger’ part of this situation. So as soon as there’s a flicker of considering on the wizard’s face, Ecstasy pounces.

“C’mon, cupcake. I’ll be gentle with you.”

And it gets her a scoff and an eye roll, of course.

But it also gets her a kiss before she makes her way out.

31. Things you said that you wouldn’t have if it were light out

It’s absolutely on Ecstasy, the fact that Raini’s sound asleep and she’s not. It’s not that she doesn’t want to be, it’s just that she’d gone out to piss after everything and Raini had fallen fast asleep in the two or three minutes she’d been gone.

Ecstasy unwraps the robe she’d donned to keep the crew from being alternatively intrigued or affronted by her naked body, thanks her lucky stars that she has hooves and doesn’t have to worry about putting on and taking off her boots for a trek like that, and, however illogically, doesn’t lay down yet. Instead, she sits on the edge of the bed, the slight movement making Raini stir but not bother waking up yet, and she cocks her head down at the wizard.

“Angel,” she tries, wondering.

Raini barely reacts. Hm.

Ecstasy’s already put out her lamp, so her wizard’s face is all shades of gray with her darkvision. Still, she can imagine every color that lights itself on Raini’s face usually - the pink of her cheeks, the gray-blue of her eyes, the slight glow of the arcane sometimes buzzing around her. It’s probably good that it’s dark, though, because Ecstasy doesn’t think she’d be doing this if it wasn’t.

Not sure what “this” is, exactly, but it culminates in her brushing Raini’s hair back, shushing the discontented mutter it gets her, and pulling the sheet up over her bare shoulder.

Hm.

Ecstasy rolls her eyes at herself and crosses back over to her side of the bed, pulling the sheets down and joining Raini, slotting her body against Raini’s back. Raini’s pulled herself into a ball, but she’s still expressed that she likes Ecstasy’s warmth (“So you really like how hot I am, huh?” “Would you shut up?”) so, spooning it is.

Ecstasy, even as she makes fun of herself for doing so, moves Raini’s hair out of the way and presses a kiss to the side of her head. “Sweet dreams, firefly,” she says, relishing in the lack of a response. That’s better, for her. “See you in the morning.”

And then she settles in to sleep, herself.

Legacy

13. Things you said that were important to you

It’s kind of more what she doesn’t say. The conversation is already moving on without them, but Legacy is caught, just a bit, in Frey’s gaze.

She has the sudden feeling that Frey Holt is the kind of good that makes just about everyone figure out just how bad they are.

It twists something in her stomach, and Legacy’s lips press together when Frey tells her, “Kindness is free, even to people it’s easy to be unkind to.”

GD and their new friends are talking about dinner, so Legacy doesn’t say, “Kindness is never free. Especially not to people who are unkind to you. It’s not even free to people who are.”

She doubts that Frey would agree with her, first and foremost, and more than that she doesn’t know what, exactly, her argument would be. Coming from Legacy, the argument would be rich - hypocritical, considering she’s spent part of her life lying to strangers for money. But it isn’t free. If Legacy were more inclined to be shitty towards Frey she’d probably give a jab about how Frey doesn’t even know how banks work, how should she know what’s free and what’s not?

Frey’s kindness isn’t free. She can’t really think it is. Frey’s kindness, at least the kindness that Legacy’s seen, is turning herself into the smallest dog possible because GD is scared of her, even when it’s obvious how much she likes being large and wolfish and wild. Frey’s kindness is hurricanes and lightning storms in the middle of a city, just to keep people safe, people she met only a few days prior. Less than a few, even. Frey’s kindness is sinking a spell into nothing more than a scrape. Maybe Frey means that her kindness doesn’t put someone in debt to her for it, but there’s still a sunk cost. It’s still not free.

And it’s not naivete, either, Legacy doesn’t think, because she’s seen other types of kindness, too, even just from the few people she’s interacted with so far in the city.

GD’s kindness is letting herself feel the fear when Frey transforms, just so Frey can be that dog or wolf. Sunk cost. Cardea’s kindness is sitting for an hour listening to flutes so she can make sure a criminal is at rest. Sunk cost. Wén Xuěliàng and Yáo Jìngwǎn approached a couple of people talking about murder just to put a ghost to rest, Arianell gave a protective contract to a bunch of basically-nobodies because they’d done a good job and agreed in good faith not to hurt anyone unnecessarily, Klymene granted a random wizard protection just because they’d asked. Sunk cost, sunk cost, sunk cost. None of it is free.

And that’s all to people they like. To people they have no reason to be unkind to. If Frey thinks she’s taking nothing from herself to apologize to a man who only doesn’t want her dead because his people fled in thirty seconds, she’s lying to herself, and she’s certainly lying to Legacy.

But she doesn’t say any of this. And the rest of them are already walking, talking, insisting on paying for dinner.

(More kindness. More sunk cost. Gratitude, sure, but kindness, and still - not free. Quite literally, in this case.)

Legacy wonders how much of that Frey can read off of her, as she starts walking, too, leaving Legacy a little lost.

She stomps a hoof on the ground, once, casts her eyes upward, and walks a bit faster to catch up.

22. Things you said after making a bad decision

(for my dnd party, just to be clear: bad decision is HEAVILY in quotation marks. i love party coherency and so does legacy. but also aren’t all bad party decisions (and there by definition have to be Many) precipitated by One decision, the one to BECOME a party? i rest my case.)

There’s a scream on the docks, which isn’t really a new thing because the crush of the Os Kvelya docks are always loud and there’s always someone screaming at someone else.

But this is a scream. Proper, horrified.

Much more interesting than a walk home, anyway. Legacy alters her course immediately.

She’s not the only one. None of them are city guards, or anything, but there’s three - creatures, considering one of them is a large white wolf - and a clearly distressed human woman, pale as anything and probably the reason for the screaming. The other three, wolf included, seem to have “inspecting the body” down, so Legacy focuses on the woman instead. Having a possible witness passing out on them won’t do anyone any favors.

She keeps an eye on the investigation, though. After a minute, she decides to involve herself. The woman-who-was-a-wolf gives her findings first: “He got stabbed! With a big knife. In his ribs.”

And Legacy replies, invested: “You hate to see it. Do any of you three know him? I'm assuming not.”

Considering the screaming woman is the only one who looks with any fear towards the corpse, and no one else seems to be taking time from their investigation to grieve quietly, sob loudly, or beat their chests in misdirected anger, Legacy has to assume.

It takes her on a bit of a whirlwind, too. Stabbing on a dock leads to necromancy leads to a boat to brunch then to a criminal court, and so on and so forth to a fight with a necromancer. It’s about there that Legacy realizes that she should regret this. Chalk up the whole thing as a bad decision and get back on the road after a few more days in the city.

Except.

She finds herself in a bathhouse with them later, her wounds healed, instead of bandaged like they would have been if she were alone, scrubbing grime off of her and enjoying easy conversation with the two women who aren’t deep in their own heads right now.

The bard, GD (whatever that may stand for), says, “It’s nice to be among friends, if you all would like to stick around.”

And Legacy finds herself not minding the idea. It’s only hours after they meet, with Legacy only half-trying to keep her eyes off a very pretty set of tits, and she says, “GD, I think I'd like to stick around. Those who solve a murder together stay together, etcetera.”

And that, despite what she intellectually knows, the fact that necromancers and Reveries and Asmodeus and going after them all are generally considered bad decisions - well, she’ll just see what happens. She’s got a good feeling about it nonetheless.

Zephyr

19. Things you said when nothing bigger concerned you

“Sir Gentry,” Zephyr coos, chuffing him under his chin. “Pretty boy.”

He chirps at them and blinks, and Zephyr grins. “Okay. Off the desk. I have to study and you’re not very conducive to that.”

They pick him up and set him down, turning back to the spellbook she’d used the Academy funds to buy. Before this it was a shitty three-copper notebook that she took great pains to conceal, but this is a proper spellbook, with thick pages and a pretty purple leather cover. It’s the most luxurious thing Zephyr’s ever owned, and smells a little bit like lavender.

“All I have to do is impress them,” Zephyr tells themself, though she’s not sure exactly who “they” are yet, and don’t yet know how to impress. Their innate magic is very different from the spells they’ve been able to grasp so far - where Zephyr can remember the sparkling feeling of accidentally casting dancing lights or faerie fire on herself, this is nothing of the sort.

This is memorization, more, going over and over incantation and effect and intent and theory in their mind until they have magic concentrated like a beating heart and mind together in their body, just waiting to be released.

It’s the way they’ve learned to make it work. Their professors describe something different, but Zephyr has felt the welling feeling of possibility on the tip of their tongue, and can’t imagine any other way of casting. They’re no longer casting with her joy, but they’re still casting with everything of herself she can throw into it. Today, they’re content.

They open their spellbook proper, the lines on their face hardening as they concentrate. They know how to do this, or something like this. Like they’d said, all she has to do is impress. They’ll start breathing magic.

That’s plenty impressive.

26. Things you said while lying about yourself

“Zephyranthes Mirimm,” she says, holding out her hand.

Lona Mirimm looks at her with vague distrust in her eyes. Zephyr tries not to make it seem like it matters to her.

“I’ve never heard of you,” Lona says.

Zephyr waves that off. It’s easy to rebut, that. She’s practiced it a thousand times, preparing for this. “I doubt you would have. I’m not one of the generational Mirimms like I expect you are - my parents aren’t even Rosohnans. I’m from Asarius, originally. It’s so nice to meet you!”

She gives Lona a wide smile that they hope isn’t going to be seen through, and Lona finally takes her hand, then. “It’s nice to meet you, too.”

One Mirimm down, Zephyr thinks to themself. Hopefully no more to go.

They’re not sure how far their pedigree will actually stretch, though she’s sure that when she does better than good in the Academy, no one will think to check.

She looks over her shoulder as she leaves Lona, accidentally catching her gaze. Zephyr blinks, jerks her head back to the front, and focuses on the tap-click of her new heels as she hurries down the hall.

[aurora-daily]

A free bird

Interview: AURORA for Dagbladet Magazine (June 25th, 2019). Translated by fromthespaceamundo.

Anyone who loves Aurora Aksnes (23) will always come in second place.

THE FREEDOM OF FREEDOM: As a child, the record-breaking Aurora Aksnes (23) felt differently from other children. As an adult, she experiences the differentness as her greatest strength.

«It's art that keeps me up. And hunger. It's an eternal hunger.» says Aurora Aksnes.

From a red velvet sofa in a secluded corner of the Hotel Bristol, the pop artist has an overview of the buzzing room. Her third album A Different Kind of Human (Step 2) came on June 7, which got a 5 stars rating on Dagbladet and by Aftenposten was characterized as Aurora's most complete release so far. After the tour in South America, she is ready for festival summer and Norwegian tour. On June 28, she played at the Glastonbury Festival for her warriors & weirdos, the nickname she has given to her fans.

Since her artistic debut in 2014 and international breakthrough with a cover version of the Oasis song «Half the World Away», the 23-year-old has marked herself with self-written pop and distinctive talent for creating her own universe. She is acclaimed by artists like Katy Perry and has 570,000 followers on Instagram. The music press often portrays her as a kind of eccentric child, which is supported by the fact that Aurora appears barefoot in TV interviews, and privately has a fascination for moths and algae balls.

But she does not drink more than one beer, the concentration and strength of her blue gaze in combination with a low-pitched, clear voice, is more striking than her narrow sense of interest. Ever since she, as a 9-year-old, discovered the magic sounds that could be created with an old electronic keyboard she found on her parents' attic, Aurora has known the meaning of life:

«I could sacrifice all contact with others if I had to. I could sacrifice everything. I don't need anything else but to make music. Then I understand why I'm here.»

Aurora's lyrical universe is a lot about exclusion, but even though she writes about everything, from loneliness to suicide, outsiders are made into insiders in her songs, while the insiders appear as outsiders. On the title song, «A Different Kind of Human», she sings:

«We have come here for you, and we're coming in peace Mothership will take you higher, higher»

Is your own mothership hungry?

«In a way. Because hunger takes me where I am going to be.»

A different kind of human, what is that?

«Many people think that it is me because I have often felt different, but the lyrics have nothing to do with that. I ask people to make a choice and remind them that they can choose to be a different kind of human. If everybody had chosen it, the world would be a good place to live in.»

Have you chosen it yourself?

«Long ago.» Aurora responds calmly.

When did you choose it?

«When I realized I had a choice. I was a smart kid, so I noticed quickly that I am in place with people similar to me, but different. I had other dreams, interests and questions compared to the other kids. I remember thinking, ‘I don't belong here.’ At that time it felt negative, but I made a choice not to suppress it. I quickly removed the need to be understood and found the peace of mind that being alone is okay.»

At home, in the small town of Drange in the municipality of Os, the parents gave the youngest daughter room to be herself. Older sisters Miranda (32) and Viktoria Aksnes (29) were for some time afraid that the individualistic little sister, who used cut socks as arm warmers and make her own outfits, would be bullied. The problem was rather that the friends wanted more time with Aurora than she managed to give. After school, she was often out in the woods until her parents called her home for dinner with a bell.

«Mom and dad helped me be free. I was introverted as a kid, I was not so interested in people. I could sit alone for hours and thought it was great. I often chose to be alone rather than being with friends.»

When the family was to adopt a kitten from the Animal Protection Agency, Aurora had to choose. High up on a refrigerator, meowing alone, lay an old, a big and gray cat.

«I remember the first day of school. The kittens were like the other kids in the schoolyard with a lot of noise and nonsense. I recognized myself in Tulla.»

For the rest of her cat life, Tulla went to school bus stop daily to wait for Aurora and follow her through the forest towards home. It seemed that cats knew when she would show up, even though the schedule varied. Tulla never missed the moment.

«She didn't really like to be a tamed cat, but we had a strong connection.»

WAR OF WOMEN: Aurora Aksnes will give her fans, all the «warriors & weirdos», strength and acceptance to be themselves. Photo: Agnete Brun.

CURRENTLY:

•  Known under the artist name AURORA.  •  Newcomer of the year during the Spellemann Prize of 2015. Won the Spellemann Prize of 2016 in the best pop soloist category and also took the prize for best music video. •  Currently with the album «A Different Kind of Human (Step 2)». Sings on the Frozen 2 trailer. The film will premiere this fall.

One morning the Easter Bunny glowed from the couch in the living room, the next day it had found its way to the top of the roof. But when the rabbit joined Aurora Aksnes to the school and she entertained her classmates with colorful stories, a sudden sense of concern emerged in the classroom.

«The teachers thought I didn't understand the difference between reality and imagination,» recalls Aurora.

«They were worried about me. Then mom said, ’No, that's how she should be. And it's going to be her strength.’» The sense of alienation was lifted by her.

«It was very defining. It was the first time anyone was really up to me. I stood up for myself a lot, I never asked for help either. But at that time my mother stood up for me, and I have never forgotten that.»

To date, her mother's words work like a compass. Aurora stretches her flimsy arms out in front of her and slightly twists her wrists. Her glance glides at a beautiful, solid chandelier before returning.

«I knew there was a reason why I should cultivate a friendship with myself. I was going to need it. It is important that anyone who feels out of place gets a chance to see what understanding is for them in the world.»

She is most frightened to find that people do not understand what she means. She often meets a lack of understanding in depth. For Aurora, whose name means «the goddess of dawn», sunset and sunrise are not only a «a nice thing.» They are nature's short-lived works of art. Beautiful, but perishable, they give her both intense joy and sorrow.

«I think it is scary to perhaps never be fully understood. But maybe there is no real insider. Everyone experiences being an outsider, some just more than others. Acceptance is important in my world. And music... music is a healing instrument.»

CHILD PICTURE: A young Aurora Aksnes. Photo: Private.

NEWBORN: Dad Jan Øystein Aksnes with baby Aurora. Photo: Private.

REMEMBER THE TIME: Mom May Britt Aksnes works as a midwife and has encouraged her daughters to choose what feels right for themselves, rather than listening to others. Aurora herself feels like an alternative health worker: «Music is a healing instrument.» Photo: Private.

Ideally, she would have started rolling over the vacant floor space of the Bristol Library Bar, or asked someone to lift her up to be able to touch the crystals of the huge chandelier, but such impulses Aurora has learned to suppress. Guests are not allowed to put their feet on the tables.

«I have learned that the impulses can be unpleasant for people, but I have also learned when to give in to them. They can escalate if I feel insecure, but if it happens I consciously use them when there is something I do not want to talk about, or when I want to divert.»

FESTIVAL: A graduation-dressed mom May Britt, sisters Miranda, Aurora and Viktoria, as well as dad Jan Øystein Aksnes. Photo: Private.

This is how the 23-year-old makes twice as old music professionals listen. However, the leap from a natural western upbringing to the demands of an international artist was the toughest part. The NRK documentary Once Aurora (2018) reveals how Aurora has previously felt pressured to release music she does not care for and struggles to find the balance between closeness and distance to fans. She was discovered by chance when a friend posted a school video of a singing Aurora on Facebook.

«I never really wanted to become an artist. It just happened. There was a lot of pressure, a lot of sounds, a lot of work and a too much people for someone like me, who really likes the opposite. Then it helps if I have a meaning greater than myself, to see that I can help others. Making good music gives me a very special feeling. I get a sense of security in myself. I know why I'm here, what to fill the time with, and I have something to run after all the time. Something to look for that is inside me.»

Aurora puts a narrow hand on her chest and pauses a little before she continues with diligence:

«It is absolutely magical to have such a meaning in life. I never get completely unhappy when I have it. Suddenly I have people who listen, and I have a meaning in my lyrics, in who I am on stage, in that I suddenly want to write political stuff, not only emotional stuff.»

Aurora's message is: Help yourself before helping others. Stand on your own power. Be yourself.

«I learned this the hard way in a period when I was having a hard time. I struggled with panic anxiety when I was like 18-19 years old and saw how little functional I was, how little I was able to create, how little I could help others.»

The fact that she comes from a family where mental illness appears in several parts of the father's family, while artistic talent exists on both sides of the family, Aurora regards it as a strength. Her sister, Viktoria Aksnes, was diagnosed with bipolarity type 2 in the summer of 2016, and describes Aurora as one of the strongest people she knows and a great supporter.

«I learned early to be strong for others. And then I've learned a lot from my own journey in the world. I have traveled alone since I was 16. I have known grief and need, and the importance of being true to yourself,» says Aurora.

How did you get on your feet when you had panic anxiety?

«By giving myself time, not putting pressure on myself. Being kind to myself, I made sure I got what I needed to work on. You can't do anything for others until you are your perfect self. And this is not when you have many shadows.»

What were your shadows?

«They have been different things. But the biggest shadow was probably the shadow of my own success in 2016, which I didn't understand and didn't quite accept. I felt trapped in the reality that this is now a job. You're not your own secret anymore, you have to share yourself with the world, and that's the way it is.»

She stretches her arms, which are slightly clad in a cropped top under a mesh top that matches the tulle skirt over green harem pants. Aurora has mastered the art of looking simple and intricate at the same time. All her styling is done in collaboration with her older sisters: Miranda Aksnes — who she lives with in Bergen and who is often on tour with her — takes care of her makeup, while designer-educated Viktoria sews the stage attire.

«I'm stubborn and always making my own things. Magazines will often try to style me, but then I just say that I want what I like. I don't like people touching my face, only Miranda is allowed to. I do my hair myself, I do not like when people touch my hair either.»

What happens then?

«I can get really hot and then I get angry. I don't like being caught on that much. Hugging is hard. I need freedom and space. But I love people holding my hands, or taking my arm.»

Was that why you studied sign language as an elective?

Aurora, who dreamed of being a researcher in molecular biology, but dropped out from high school to spend full time on making music after the second grade, bursts into a vibrant laugh.

«Yes. I also liked the sign language because I stuttered a little. When I'm excited and girded, I still stutter, but the worst was when I had German, which is a choppy language.»

The stuttering started when Joop, a Dutch family friend and Aurora's confidant, died on Christmas Eve. During the Christmas service, the Aksnes family found out that he had died, and the funeral was held in the Christmas room. 11-year-old Aurora felt both her own sadness and the sadness of everyone around. It became so overwhelming and intense that she threw up afterwards.

«It was when I learned that funerals are not for me. It was absolutely awful Singing is easier than sitting on the benches and feeling your own and everyone else's pain. No, I do not like funerals, I get nothing out of them. Especially if the dead are young.»

They are many. When Aurora went to junior high school, her sister Viktoria lost a close friend. He was a 18 years old and died in bed by an undetected heart defect. At high school, Aurora's friend from the sign language class died in a traffic accident.

«I sang at my friend's funeral. She was kind, it was heavy.»

There was someone who committed suicide too?

«Yes, a friend of ours from Os. He was good, very good. And then I had one tho whom I was very close who died in Utøya. A boy I was in love with. He was lovely.»

Was he your boyfriend?

«We probably were, even though I was very young back then. I was 15 when he passed away. He was 17.»

The buzz in the room is increasing, but in Aurora's corner it is quiet. Suddenly she says:

«Eight days after someone I had been fond of passed away, I felt a presence. On every eight day it is if they were still here, and then no more. That's why track eight is always the title track on my albums. There is something magical about the number eight.»

You said you'd like to release eight albums?

«Yes. Even numbers are special to me: Eight is sad, eleven gives me more hope. My first album came out on the 11th. I can only have eleven songs on the album. And then track number eight is the most important one, always. I can't explain why, it's just like that and must be that way. You can find out a lot about me if you know that I love even numbers.»

She is also a warrior of love. Songs like «Queendom» have caused the LGBT community to embrace her music. The love society, Aurora calls it, who is open about her relationship with both men and women. The freedom to not define sexuality she feels is greater in her generation than among the elderly.

«I am very proud of that, because we put a label on everything. I think it is so lovely that we let love be love. Sometimes you need labels because you belong to a place, but I don't need it myself. I just feel that I am one of the many endorsers of love.»

Have you always known that you could fall for women?

«No, but I noticed that I could be captivated by them. Falling for a woman is different than falling in love with a man. A kind of mutual admiration. Something more intellectual.»

A sort of recognition?

«Yes, some kind of strength and admiration. I want to learn something from the women I fall for. With men it is perhaps a little more sexual. It is interesting to note that there is a difference.»

AURORA AKSNES

•  Born: June 15, 1996. •  Family: Mother, father and two sisters. I don't want to say I'm single, but I don't have a boyfriend. I'm in love. •  Best feature: Independence. •  Worst feature: I can be stubborn. But the best and the worst is that I am very emotional. •  Reads: Only fantasy. •  Listens to: Enya and heavy metal. I often fall asleep to heavy metal. It's heavy and delicious to listen to. •  Watching: Ghibli films, from Japan. Spirited Away. If I need to cry, I watch The Grave of the Fireflies. It's sad. •  Being provoked by: Injustice. •  Admires: People's ability to cope with the invisible obstacles. •  Afraid of: Dying before I have made eight albums. I'm very afraid of that, because I have to do that. •  Dream destination: Moon. •  To do in ten years: Maybe album number eight.

«I sang at my friend's funeral. It was heavy.»

- Aurora Aksnes (23), artist.

How are those you fall for? Do they also have algae in the fridge?

Aurora laughs at the hint of the algae ball Igor Septimus, who recently passed away in a glass of water because she had forgotten to place him in the cool and the apartment became too hot and dry for five weeks of absence.

«No, but there are often people who are free too. I like strong, stubborn ladies. I love the world to have such ladies, and I treat myself to have such a lady in my life. It is an extra spiritual thing with women that creates curiosity.

That you are hungry and can do without anything other than art? How are you at loving others?

«I think I'm hard to love. It must be difficult learning to be loved a little less than to be hungry. You always come in second place.»

Are you honest about this with those you have been with?

«I have been.»

How have they taken it?

«I haven't had so many lovers in my life so far. I love a lot and can fall fast. But then it fades over quickly because nothing can match what I feel when I make music.»

Aurora is looking for the words that can describe the indescribable.

«It is the closest thing I have to anything divine, I think. I can only find a lover who understands it. One who has passion. One who also knows what it means to create something. One with the same hunger. That can be the weird art of appreciating oneself. And they must know that music is under number one. Everything else comes afterwards. Even if I had children.»

Then the children would be...

«...number two. I know that. I have a lot of love in me, and I think I could be a good mother. I want a child who can inherit the house at Drange, which my father has built, and we, the daughters, will surely take over. That's what I'm thinking of. I don't know if that is good enough reason», she comments.

«But I had probably struggled with the conscience because I haven't managed to take a break from the studio during the whole day. It's a nice feeling that I want to give my mom and dad a grandchild, but for the time being I have no room for anything but music.»

To keep control, Aurora has learned to play various instruments and started producing her own music. The toughest thing she has had to realize is that she can not totally reproduce her own visions.

«I hear sounds that do not exist yet. So it is not entirely possible to reproduce what I have inside me, and I have accepted that. But I'm going to work a whole life to make it happen.»

FUTURE DREAM: «I dream of buying and living on my own island in Hordaland. There I will have cats, chickens and wild sheep and make music.» says Aurora. Photo: Agnete Bun.

«Falling for a woman is different than falling in love with a man.» «I'm hard to love. You always come in second place»

- Aurora Aksnes

Translator's Note: special credits for agenahadar from the Warriors and Weirdos forum for sharing the original article in Norwegian language.