#This was very experimental and way out of my comfort zone

[catullansparrowlet]

The walls are a strange off-white and the floor has a sickeningly green-brown colour. There’s no place you’d rather not be and in the echoes of your faltering footsteps in the seemingly endless corridor you hear soft whispers that you don’t belong here, that you should turn and run while it’s still possible. You don’t run, however, and opt to clutch the handle of your too-big black suitcase a little harder instead. The person who walks a little in front of you suddenly stops, and opens a blue door, to reveal a pastel green room, furnished with light-wooden colours. They stop talking- and you just realise they must’ve been talking to you all the way here. There’s a question hanging in the air and even though every fibre of your being screams it’s wrong, that you don’t belong here, you nod and thus admit yourself to a psychiatric ward.

You’ve been here long enough to realise you’re lost, but not long enough to know how to get out of this maze of greens, browns and yellows. As you’re turning around for the umptieth time, trying to spot a way out of this small clearing, the wind that blows through multicoloured  leaves whispers that you don’t belong and you shiver as brown, misshapen leaves rain down upon you. You know you’re not supposed to be here, but where are you supposed to be?  You whirl around and, upon glimpsing the path that brought you here, you set out in that direction. How lost can one really be when there are only so many possible paths one can take?

The room you meet the doctor in is grey, so is the man himself and so are his questions, undefinable, seemingly absorbed by the very greyness that dwells in the room. Your words are swallowed by the grey curtains, who answer the doctor with answers of their own and you start to feel lost in the hungry greyness that swallows you whole. Grey is ubiquitous, you realise with a start, and the thought calms you down. Everything is grey and in grey you belong. That fragile peace of mind is shattered however when you hear the cushions of the seats whisper that you don’t belong, not here.

Making everything white was a horrible idea on the designer’s part, you think, as you fascinatedly watch a red stain form and grow on what was previously a white surface. You smack your hand in the middle of the red puddle and watch red droplets soil even more of the white surface and you find it delights you, so you repeat the motion, not unlike a toddler that has discovered the fun of ruining perfect things. More and more white gives way to different shades of red, until blue makes it stop. Confused, you sit back and ponder over the change. Red you know and are familiar with, as if it were an old lover of yours, and grey, in all its unfathomable haziness, holds no more secrets for you anymore either, but blue? Blue’s an old enemy you haven’t faced in years, one you’ve chosen to ignore- and it has decided to return. You protest, it doesn’t belong here!  And then realisation kicks in.

Neither of you belong- and that makes you belong.

[meanbossart]

I do love how Astarion, lovingly, tells DU Drow to stfu about his breeding kink lol

Astarion, for the first time in two hundred years can have sex the way he likes. Do you have any headcanons about him and DU Drow discovering what he actually likes?

(I'm pretty positive this was in reference to this, (un)fortunately my inbox is a little hard to keep up with so I must have missed this one at the time)

Kind of! I try not to overthink his internal processing of sex following everything that has happened, as I feel like that runs the risk of setting too clear a line between good and bad recovery and experimentation - y'know, that concept I have delved into a few times by now about how I assume he continues to do things that make him uncomfortable/that he doesn't necessarily wants to do, not to self-harm but simply because he doesn't want to be held back by by his experiences and (mostly) has the ability to deal with the emotional consequences of it, as long as it was a choice he made of his own free will.

Which is to say that I think Astarion was willing to try a lot of things with his partner. Especially after "vanilla" sex became normalized between them past the end of the campaign (as they weren't really fucking during it at all) and things like putting small fantasies of his own the table started to feel like a strange, but tempting excursion. This is a trigger for the both of them to be much more blatant about their desires with each other, especially once DU drow gets over his perception of Astarion as some kind of wounded bird who needs to be handled with kid gloves.

While Astarion doesn't strike me as someone who'd ever get into wizard sex inflation or whatever gimp parties the Loviatar people are throwing, I do think he likes it when sex is injected with a degree of weirdness, even awkwardness. Keeps him from the temptation of defaulting back to a script like he used to do - even if whatever they got up to wasn't particularly titillating, at least he was present all throughout it, which would be a priority. I think it will take decades for Astarion to figure out what he's actually into into.

In the meantime, he is very fond of his partner's body, his general behavior in bed and of taking his time, also a bit of an oral fixation. Unless purposefully leaving his comfort zone, Astarion prioritizes his own fun and enjoyment because he knows DU drow gets off on being the source of it. This is a very body-worshippy couple overall, but Astarion is the main perpetrator since it is an invigorating experience to not be in the role of the Desired after having his identity revolve around that very concept for so long. Naturally, DU drow lets him do whatever the hell he wants to him and doesn't even demand that he finishes, or that it escalates to actual sex at all. It works out well for them.

[dallaji]

Control Freak.

♡ bada lee x reader / NSFW❗❗❗

SUMMARY: Your girlfriend doesn’t like giving up the reins, but perhaps with some gentle urging she will finally let loose. Even if it's just for a little bit.

WORD COUNT: 4.7k

CW: PORN WITHOUT PLOT (like leech rallay NO plot), established relationship, reader is a power bottom and bada is perplexed!! befuddled!!11, bada with a strap, toys.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: please don't kill me for not releasing a request. (〃´▽`〃) this has been in my drafts for a while, so i decided to finish it. kind of experimental / out of my comfort zone, but hopefully still enjoyable!!1 not proofread yet btw.

————— ୨୧ —————

Bada always needed to be in control.

You had noticed when you first met her.

That particular club had never been on your radar before, but your friends dragged you along and the crowd and music were decent enough. It had only taken fifteen minutes of you dancing around strangers, the heavy bass of the music controlling the sway of your body, until a pair of magnetic eyes met yours from across the room. 

Something about her beckoned you, the anticipation blooming in your stomach. Even when her arm had snaked around your lower back, signaling to any passersby that she had staked her claim, Bada couldn’t help but glance over to her friends every once in a while; making sure they weren’t going overboard with drinking. Before she took you to her place she checked in on each and every one of them, her hand never leaving your lower back.

When Bada had invited you to watch one of her dance classes, you immediately picked up on her ability to command the room. When her students performed the taught choreo back to her, Bada's eagle-like eyes searched for any out-of-place formations or unsharp movements. If anyone was off the beat, she would make them redo the entire routine start to finish. Not in a draconian way, but with words of encouragement, only ever wanting to see them give their very best.

You noticed again on one of your first dates. After offering to cook for her that evening, Bada insisted on tagging along with you to the grocery store. She had wricked the basket from your hand straight away with a half smile. Without even needing to, she reached any tall shelf regardless. 

Once settled in your small one bedroom apartment, Bada had lurked over your shoulder with curious eyes like a patient puppy, watching you prepare the meal. Before you could even ask, she handed you whichever utensils or ingredients were needed. All that despite your constant urging to have her sit back and relax.

Instead, Bada shook her head with a bashful smile: “I want to help.” Is what she had said.

You noticed in more private settings, too. 

Whenever she made you orgasm, she would lock your legs in place and deliberately hold down the thrashing of your limbs. Bada wanted to feel you lose yourself to her, and never make you forget who got you to that point.

Her hungry gaze didn't leave your face, as if she needed to commit every expression to memory. “That’s it, baby,” She’d coax, “So good for me.”

When she wore the familiar harness with her strap-on, she immediately had you bent over in a perfect angle; a hand on the back of your neck to keep you exactly where she wanted you as she pistoned her hips against you. As soon as you got close, she would pull out with a giggle, only to move you onto your back; hoisting your legs over her shoulders to see how far she could edge you along.

Sometimes you wanted to return the favor: “Let me make you feel good,” You would whisper against her lips, Bada panting underneath you as her hands found purchase on your hips. 

Despite her unwavering dedication in keeping you pliant, you were desperate to give back to her. So you would throw a leg over her waist in a foolhardy attempt to lock her into place, and Bada followed your every motion with a lovestruck expression.

However, once your fingers pressed into her, half-lidded eyes meeting yours, her hand would curl around your wrist: sometimes dictating your motions, and sometimes just to keep a tight hold on you. A silent reminder of who is in charge.

And despite this clear-cut dynamic in the bedroom, neither of you ever cared for strict roles. It wasn’t something you had ever explicitly discussed. You worked her up just as much as she did you. Some days you were both desperate for it, one shoving the other against a wall after a long week of barely getting to see each other; other days the two of you giggled under the sheets, the early morning rise peeking through the blinds as soft pants filled the room. 

Yet the outcome was always the same. Completely surrendering yourself to her as she, almost obsessively, found new ways to have you exactly the way she wanted you.

You didn’t mind, though, as it was so inherently Bada. Soft, yet capable; kind, but forthright; sometimes shy, though always poised.

But sometimes, you wondered.

After a particularly stressful day, she would lay you down on the bed and put on her strap without you even imploring her to do so. Wearing her harness, she could sometimes come from just watching your eyes roll back as she fucked into you, the suction on the back of the strap rubbing against her mound at just the right angle. 

Other times, you pushed your hand down her harness, fingers circling her folds in an attempt to keep up with the unforgiving pace of her hips. 

But most of the time, she would hold your hands over your head or against your back, and intently watch you come undone, not paying attention to her own pleasure whatsoever. 

It almost seemed to be cathartic for her, having such a control over you when her grueling schedule was something she simply underwent. When her professional life had become hectic, she barely found the energy to say ‘no’ to things. She would come to your place with tense muscles and a tired smile, but never too tired to pull you into the bedroom with a meaningful look in her eyes. You were more than willing to give her that release. What were you if not at her disposal?

But you still wondered. You believed that, from time to time, it was healthy to let go of the reins. Perhaps finding a way to relinquish at least a little bit, allowing herself to unravel in your hold, could help her blow off steam too. 

You had an idea, and what better time to try it than today?

Bada had started her day with an early photoshoot and ended it with a filmed interview. Once she had reached your apartment, you already had takeout food laid out on the table for her. She greeted you with a warm embrace, pressing a tender kiss on your lips before digging in.

With a mouthful of fried rice, she complained about unfriendly hairstylists and bad traffic, rubbing at her temples to will away a commencing headache. You listened intently before sharing your own frustrations with a project at work; Bada squeezed your hand, urging you to take a break from time to time. You chuckled at the irony. Look who’s talking.

“I have a day off tomorrow,” Bada said nonchalantly, scooping some leftover slices of beef into her bowl.

“Good thing I changed my sheets today.” You replied teasingly, stealing some of her beef.

Bada looked up at you with a mischievous grin.

Soon after you were on your bed entirely naked, panting and sensitive all over, as Bada hunched over you in nothing but her underwear. She had been teasing you relentlessly, dragging her fingernails up and down your thighs as she scattered hickeys across your skin, tonguing at each bruise she created.

"Tell me what you want, princess." She mouthed against the soft skin of your inner thigh, before her teeth pressed down in a lovebite. 

"Want to get fucked," You managed to rasp, your fingers tangling into the locks of her hair.

She hummed thoughtfully, as if she was deciding on what to eat for dinner, and you felt the reverberations against your skin: "It has been a while, hasn't it?" Her tongue licked a long stripe along the area where your cunt and thigh met, her fingertips squeezing into your quivering legs; holding them still.

It was difficult to stay focused with Bada winding you up as much as she did, but you managed to find a stable enough voice to speak: "I- I want to try something new, though..."

"Oh?” She glanced up at you from in between your legs, her mouth slick from the kisses she had left all over you.

You nodded timidly, slowly moving to sit up. Bada followed suit, watching you curiously with her hands resting atop your thighs.

From your bedside drawer you pulled a small box, quickly opening it and placing the contents on the bed. Bada raised her eyebrows.

It was a small pink bullet vibrator, and a remote.

You watched Bada do the math in her head.

“Do you want to have both…?” You almost choked on your spit, flustering not only at her suggestion but the way she seemed incredibly interested in the prospect.

“No! I want you to… wear this, while also wearing your strap,” You muttered, feeling more embarrassed by the second. Bada’s mouth formed a small ‘o’, and you continued hurriedly: “I think it would feel good, for the both of us.”

The way Bada smiled was almost cheshire-like, and she slowly pushed you down on the bed again, a newfound eagerness in her ministrations that let you breathe a sigh of relief. “Does my baby think she can handle it?” She spoke with a cloyingly sweet lilt to her voice, and you had to swallow the bratty remark on the tip of your tongue. 

Of course Bada could not conceive of herself not being able to handle it- she was still under the impression that you would be the main receiver here.

Before you could think of something to respond, Bada placed the remote and the vibrator in your hand, pressing her lips into the crook of your neck.

“Go ahead. Put it in.” She whispered, and all you could do was obey with an eagerness that left you mortified.

As her lips parted against the sensitive skin of your neck, the tip of her tongue drawing circles, your hand moved into her underwear; you rolled the bullet along the front of her heat, fingers reaching to feel the wetness of her folds. Bada hummed encouragingly, her own hands clinging onto your hips. 

You moved further down, coating the bullet with her wetness and letting it aid you when you slowly pushed it into her entrance with the tip of your finger. It earned you a soft moan from Bada, who let out a shuddered breath against your collarbones.

Before you retreated your hand, you made sure to cup her into the palm of your hand, fingers gliding along her folds. You loved how wet she got, and so fast at that. 

She sucked in a breath at your lingering touches, the sound turning into a mocking giggle. “Are you trying to tease me?”

You shuddered at the silent threat that hid behind her words, and shook your head bashfully. You promptly removed your hand, and Bada clicked her tongue in feigned indignance; but her eyes were still glazed with affection.

It was part of the game the both of you played, but you were still intent on reversing the roles at least a little bit.

Her hand came up to grab a tight hold on your face, fingertips digging into your cheeks as she forced you to meet her in a kiss. You made a desperate noise, immediately parting your lips for her as she kissed your breath away, tongue prodding against yours. 

But she ended the kiss much too soon for your liking, and you chased after her mouth. The taller girl chuckled, pushing you flat against the bed a second time by the grip she had on your face. “Patience” is all she said before moving off the bed and rummaging through the drawer for something familiar.

The strap is a similar bright pink as the bullet, and your shuddered in anticipation. You were always mesmerized from the way Bada stepped into the harness. Everything about her body language alluded to how often she wore it; she hoisted it up and expertly tightened the belts around her hips. Bada was lean, yet soft in all the right places, and the way the straps of the harness hugged around her figure complimented the subtle formation of her abs.

Nothing was ever lost on her, so Bada shot you a lopsided grin when she noticed your hungry stare. She stalked back over to you, much too patient for your liking, and climbed back to her rightful spot between your legs. You held your breath as Bada sat up on her knees, her hands curling under your thighs before she tugged you closer to her with an almost predatory look in her eyes.

She manhandled you in place, and you leaned back on your elbows in surrender. 

Her eyes raked along your figure underneath her and she leaned closer; the cold strap pressing against your navel. You subconsciously ground against it, but Bada was just beyond reach for there to be any satisfying friction.

She tilted her head playfully, a hand coming up to cradle the side of your face: “Do you want my fingers first, or can you take it?” 

You sucked in your lower lip, bringing your hands to the firmness of her stomach. “I can take it,” You responded confidently.

She hummed quietly: “Of course you can,” The look Bada gave you almost turned you into putty, and she pulled your leg around her waist, tilting her hips in such a way that the near end of the strap pressed to your folds. You wanted to rub yourself against it, but you knew better than to defy Bada in a moment like this.

Her other hand moved in between the two of you and she felt at your wetness, just as you had done to her prior. Bada, however, didn’t hesitate before drawing circles against you, your head lolling to the side with a sharp breath. She brought the strap lower on purpose, digging it between your folds before coating it with your arousal, slicking it up. 

You tried to stay still, but every slight roll of her hips had you jump at the sensitivity and you squeezed your eyes shut. That only made it worse however, as Bada took the opportunity to begin gliding the strap up and down against you, relishing in the shudders of your body. You weren’t looking, but you knew she was smiling.

She pressed a wet kiss to your collarbones and brought her hand to the base of her strap, angling her hips at your entrance. Teasingly, she prodded the tip of the strap against you and you were almost certain she was going to drag this out until she hoisted your hips onto her lap; pushing into you without a warning. 

You gasped, clutching onto her waist as you felt the strap stretch your walls. The glide was familiar enough but you couldn’t help but feel full already. You loved the way she stuffed you.

With murmurs of encouragement, Bada grabbed a hold of your hip to push in all the way to the hilt with a sharp jerk, and the movement punched a moan out of you. You clutched onto the sheets as you spread your legs further apart, and Bada greedily crowded over you.

She pulled out until just the head of the strap was still buried in you, and gave you barely a second to breathe before slamming back inside. You dug your nails into the skin of her waist with a drawn-out whine.

The pace she set was immediately ruthless; a slow retreat before punching into you, her hip bones knocking against the back of your thighs with a slapping sound. Soon you became slack jawed, almost feeling drunk on pleasure. Bada’s hands had found purchase atop your breasts, squeezing them as her hips fucked into you, your nipples peeking from between her slender fingers. 

“You take it so well,” Bada groaned, teeth gritting as she accelerated her thrusts. “It’s fucking amazing.” 

If you hadn’t initiated this with a clear plan in mind, you could feel yourself come incredibly fast this way: Bada dominating you, who was so open and willing. Your head lolled to the side as the sound of skin on skin got louder.

Through the daze of pleasure coursing through your body, your hand managed to find the remote belonging to the bullet buried inside Bada. The taller girl didn’t notice what you were reaching for, much more focused on fucking you faster and harder. 

Your fingers somehow managed to find the ‘on’-button, your body rocking back and forth as Bada fucked you, and you pressed on the first setting without warning.

Bada faltered with a curse on her lips as she felt the vibrator set off, hips momentarily freezing. She was still buried deep inside you, and you gasped. You could feel the light pulsing of the vibrating as well, and the thought made you lightheaded. 

Bada found her footing again fast enough, an incredulous laugh falling from her lips. She brusquely grabbed a hold of your face, forcing you to look at her as she stared down with fiery eyes. She slipped back into her previously unforgiven pace, almost as if she didn’t feel the vibrator at all: “You do want to— tease me.” She stated, cooing, but almost interrupting her own words with a moan as the vibrator pulsed inside of her.

You shook your head despite the grip she had on your face: “No,” You moaned breathlessly, fighting the urge to meet her thrusts because it would surely get you to your orgasm much too fast. “Jus’ wanna see you come…”

Bada groaned at your words, leaning down to meet your lips in a messy kiss that was more tongue than anything else. She angled her hips sideways, hitting into a spot that she knew could drive you crazy, this time being no different. You moaned into her mouth and she swallowed greedily, the pace of her thrusts turning faster as you felt the vibrations through her strap.

It felt so good it was dizzying, but Bada still clearly had the upper hand here, and that was not how you wanted this to go.

You moved the vibrator one setting higher. 

Bada almost keeled over at that, pressing the palms of her hands at either side of your head as her lips parted in a silent gasp. Once again her hips stuttered against you. The vibrations were stronger now: you felt it well enough through the strap buried deep inside of you. 

You watched her intently through half-lidded eyes, hands moving to her hips with the remote still in your hold, tenderly caressing along her sides. Her eyes fell shut and she wetted her lips, hips jerking in small motions as she zoned in on the pleasure. Soft gasps were slipping from you at the shallow thrusts, but you did not dare to make her go faster or deeper. The sight hanging above you was much too beautiful.

Bada snapped out of a daze, as if she could read your mind, wild eyes meeting yours. With a tight hold on your thighs, she tugged you impossibly closer to her; her body falling on top of yours, chest to chest, and then she forced her strap deeper into you with a sharp thrust of her hips. You let out a shocked gasp, ankles crossing over her lower back as she hit the spot that made your toes curl. You could feel the vibrations even stronger now, and it seemed Bada was well aware.

“Should I make you come like this? With me staying still?” There was bite to her tone, and you mentally cursed yourself for the lewd moan that fell from your lips as she gave another thrust. You had to actively fight the urge of grinding down on the strap. You knew that, if you did, you would lose this game.

Bada rested her forehead against yours as she remained frozen, watching your every expression, but you noticed her breathing growing heavier by the second.

It was the sign you needed to press the button again, activating the second-to-last highest setting of the bullet.

“FUCK!” She hissed, burying her face in the crook of your neck as her hips flinched immediately. 

You could hear her whine, a sound you rarely ever heard from her, and your mouth went dry. 

You brought a hand to the back of her head, keeping her in place as your legs remained tight around her waist, heels digging into her lower back. The vibrating was maddening for you too, already feeling a red hot tension building up in your lower stomach, and you knew well enough from alone time how strong the third setting on the remote was. 

You could tell she was still actively trying to take charge, but the soft pants against your neck betrayed her true state. Bada began thrusting in small motions, trying to get back to fucking you, but she was so clearly oversensitive from the bullet between her legs that every motion came with stutters.  

While rubbing soothing circles into her scalp, you felt her thighs clench together. Bada’s hands gripped onto the sheets, and the messiness of her thrusts became all the more apparent.

Still, you wanted to push her further.

With the hold your legs had on her, you maneuvered Bada onto her back in one swift motion. She gasped in surprise and you groaned when the strap hit deeper into you, the buzzing of the vibrator sending chills along your spine.

You sat up with an arched back and looked down at her. In turn, Bada was already staring up at you with wide, frantic eyes; her face entirely red and bangs sticking to her forehead. Her lips were parted, and even though she was entirely bewildered, the adoration was easy to read from her expression. She was looking at you as if you were the only person in the universe, almost all her bite from earlier gone.

In a last ditch effort, her hands came to grab a hold of your hips but before she could start thrusting up into you, you turned on the final and highest setting before dropping the remote next to you. 

You could see her eyes roll back, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. She was gritting her teeth, and from the way you pressed down on top of her you could feel the vibrations even clearer. With your palms pressed right above her breasts, you began to fuck yourself on her strap, your back arching even further as the pleasure ran through your body. 

Bada squeezed her eyes shut, uncharacteristically motionless under you and still hiding her moans under her palm. You promptly wrenched her hand away from her face, pinning it next to her head and you didn’t know her pupils managed to become impossibly bigger.

“Let me hear you,” You whispered on top of her, and with a particularly hard thrust you dropped your hips down on her, making Bada’s body shake.

With that encouragement, you opened her floodgates. Her thighs squeezed together below you, and the moans that began spilling from her lips were completely obscene. She was jerking her hips once again, but no longer in an attempt to fuck you into submission; instead, she was frantically chasing after the unbearable pleasure. 

Bada did not know what to do with her hands, one of them clutching onto your hip for dear life as the other balled into a fist next to her head. You angled your hips a bit differently to reach the spot that spurred you on, deftly bouncing on the strap and fucking yourself to completion.

Bada was no longer closing her eyes, staring up at you half lidded as if she never wanted to forget the sight of you on top of her. You, similarly, found her completely irresistible. Bringing your hand to her chin, you pressed your thumb to her lower lip and Bada immediately took your digit inside her mouth. 

She was clearly in a daze, intoxicated from her ecstasy, because she was barely able to suck; instead dragging her tongue messily along your finger through short moans. You dug your thumb into the hollow of her cheek, and with that Bada involuntarily jerked her hips with a groan, punching up into you. It felt as if electricity ran down your spine, and you almost felt yourself orgasm right then and there.

Her hand came up to curl around your wrist, keeping your hand in place as her eyes threatened to fall shut at how overwhelmed she felt; the buzzing of the vibrator seemingly getting louder and louder as the both of you got closer to your release. The redness of her cheeks had cascaded down to her collarbones and her eyes were uncharacteristically wet.

You pulled your thumb away, Bada whining at that once again, but you instead grabbed a hold of her face; your wet thumb smearing her own saliva across her cheek, keeping your pace on the strap steady.

“You wanna come?” You asked softly, the delicateness in your voice betraying how much of a novice you were to this dynamic.

Bada, who still seemed to be coming to terms with the switch of your positions, could only nod, though her eyes said it all: she was completely desperate.

You began gyrating your hips at that, spurring yourself closer and closer to your orgasm with heavy pants. You were feeling the familiar coil in your lower stomach, and your body was begging for release.

“Come with me,” You pleaded, and Bada tightened her hold on your wrist as she took your index- and middle finger into her mouth, moaning deeply around your digits.

Something about that sight did you in. With a few more hard drops of your hips, the sound of your ass slamming down onto the top of her thighs filling the room, you came hard. 

You dropped your head with a loud moan, fireworks coursing through your body and thighs shaking from the exertion of keeping yourself steady on top of her. In tandem with your orgasm, you felt Bada jerk violently underneath you.

She threw her head back, a silent moan stuck on her lips as your fingers slipped out of her mouth, but her grip on your wrist only tightened. Her knees came off the bed, and soon enough she was panting from the overstimulation of the vibrator still pulsing inside of her, while you were still grinding out your orgasm on her strap. 

You had half a mind to grab the remote, your own motions coming to a halt when the sensitivity became too much, and turned off the bullet.

With a lot of effort, you managed to hoist yourself off the strap; hissing at the loss of fullness. Then, you dropped yourself next to Bada, who was trying to catch her breath, thighs absentmindedly rubbing together as she could still feel the phantom sensations of the violent vibrations from the bullet.

Bada turned her head to look at you, and before you could say anything she leaned over to kiss you deeply; head tilted and lips parted. Your hand came up to cradle the side of her face as her own arms circled around your waist, pulling you close to her.

“Thank you,” She muttered against your lips, her voice laced with something deeper as she scattered lazy kisses along your jaw, and you hummed in contentment. 

���How are you feeling?” You asked, your fingers blindly searching for the belts of her harness. 

“Tired…” She murmured, and you had to bite back a laugh. Now she knew how you felt after each time she had her way with you. 

Finally, you found the straps of her harness and began to unbuckle them, helping her slip out of it. Subsequently, you lowered your hand down her panties and Bada huffed a breath, still sensitive. 

You promptly removed the bullet and fixed her underwear back in place with a pat right on her crotch, purposefully forcing a reaction from her. She gasped once again, playfully glaring at you- or at least, attempting to do so. The taller girl was already on the brink of dozing off by the looks of it.

“Go to sleep,” You whispered, enveloping the both of you in a blanket with a final peck to her mouth; Bada pursing her lips a beat too late.

“You’ve got something else waiting for you in the morning…” Bada slurred with her eyes already shut.

[tackytigerfic]

tacky! if you’re not fed up with talking about it: what was your macro process for first watch of the night, soup to nuts? wondering about how you broke down outlining, drafting, editing. was it different in scope from your ordinary process, or just scaled up?

soup to nuts, baby (i had to google that, it is one of those delightful phrases that we don't use here and i'm hopelessly charmed by it).

thanks for the ask, pal. i'm always interested in people's processes myself, particularly since I came to writing so late (late 30s) and have never approached it formally. i do read an awful lot and that i think is my main influence and teacher (less so in recent years but am trying to get back to incessant reading). i have also been trying to read more works in translation and to revisit classics too, as well as try more formally inventive works. this i struggle with as i'm a bit basic when it comes to reading, i like the segue 'twixt page and brain to be seamless so it's like i'm absorbing it rather than thinking about it, while ofc a more experimental style does often necessitate thinking about it. My partner (approvingly) described my original work as a 'stylistic blank' (the cleaner the better i say) and that's exactly what i like best to read - though it's always a pleasure to be dragged by the throat out of my comfort zone too.

I would always have described myself as a pantser - I never outline, never do writing exercises or character work or beat sheets or whatever (i'm quite resistant to a very structured formal approach). every fic i ever write starts with the germ of one very specific idea - a cameraflash-quick image of a scene, a piece of dialogue... whatever it is. and then i usually start to write at the start and then work my way through.

This one was fairly similar in approach, initially. I opened one doc for loose note-taking — it's where i jot down any ideas i had for scenes, any snippets of dialogue, anything I'd need to remember. I then started writing the fic itself - in this case, I actually skipped through and wrote out of order, not that I knew what order things were going to go in, as such - but I just wrote any scenes I had thought of that felt interesting to me, and skipped a lot of the world-buildingy scenes or the sort of "texture" scenes, the ones that construct a sense of the world they're in and the relationships they have. I then found myself in the position of having to go back and write those bridging scenes, and make the connections (which in some cases did not naturally fall into place) - it was not easy, and I wish i had taken a more linear approach to the writing, in retrospect.

So by the end, some scenes in this fic were written in 2021 and some in late 2024, which means that when I finally finished the rough first draft, the writing quality was patchy, the pacing was off, and some plotty stuff really didn't make sense. That's when the real hard work started.

A few people had looked over very early scenes, but the bulk of the fic was written with no input from anyone else - just three years of writing it into a vacuum without any sense of perspective. Showing it to my alpha/beta people was so nerve-wracking. they read it at different times, which was great as i could concentrate on their feedback one by one, and all three of them had different suggestions (as well as lots of overlap ofc). It was extremely helpful to see what made sense to them, and what they liked - but more significantly, what bits they went 'what the fuck' at, or which bits all three of them had issue with (i'm thinking of the ending here, i really had to kill some darlings there when all three were unanimously just like... tacky no). i had different docs for all three of them, and i worked off one master doc, deciding which changes i wanted to incorporate and how i wanted to approach them. plot stuff was a HUGE issue. the writing quality could be smoothed out - but i'm not a plotty writer and sadly this fic has A LOT of plot. so i needed to work on that. i also have some wolfstar (including a sex scene) which i was nervous about, as i have never read any wolfstar.

Once i finished all the edits, i then did one more read-through myself. I've never edited on such a significant level before. my other two longer fics were written for fests, usually in a scramble to get them done on time — this felt expansive in a way i couldn't have imagined allowing myself to be before i was in it, but as i was working it didn't feel necessary to try to force myself into speed i couldn't hope to achieve or maintain.

@sweet-s0rr0w and i had a really happy morning organising the chapter breaks, and then i had to decide on a title and write a summary. tagging was easier as i had my friends to advise.

another big difference to previous processes is the posting schedule. now i'm posting a chapter every two days, i spend the day between posts working on the upcoming chapter one more time. in all but one chapter i have made quite a few changes immediately prior to posting, which just goes to show that the work is shaping itself as it goes. It's been fascinating to me how putting the fic out into the world is giving me a sense of perspective, creative distance, and dare i say a tighter control over the narrative now that it's not just in my head anymore? so i do think any tiny remaining wrinkles are more satisfyingly flattened than i could have ever hoped for.

so in short, this work is different in scale, ambition, and process in almost every way to anything i've ever written. I can't imagine i'm likely to be able to pour myself into something so profoundly ever again, tbh. it took me by surprise, but it's been the most creatively satisfying thing i've ever done. having people finally reading it (and so generously too) is like getting a very special gift.

Regrets? Being the slowest writer in the world, being too perfectionist (not that i think it's perfect in any way, just i wanted it to be the best i could make it, when it probably would have been grand if it was ehhh fine, you know?) Also, i think i could probably have refined the pacing a bit more. We're on chapter 7 now and six months have passed, so basically the last three months of the fic take place over the last 14 chapters 🙈 But that's because this is where most of the romance and plot develops, so it makes sense that it would take up more space. And i do firmly believe that fics should be a bit self-inulgent, so why not stretch out in the parts i'm most interested in writing?

tagging @citrusses @maesterchill and @sweet-s0rr0w who i can never thank enough for the work they did to get me to this point. everyone already knows what brilliant writers all three are - what a lucky bastard i am to have had their insights and advice.

[evansbby]

Quick update on Cruel Summer (Wicked Games 5)

I’ve been slowly working on it but I really want it to be extra good, I’m spending my time carefully on it bc it’s probably going to be the most ambitious and experimental thing I’ve written (coming from someone who mostly writes quite safely and within my comfort zones)

The word count is currently 5000 words which I know isn’t a lot but I’m really trying. I am aiming for this chapter to be 40,000 words long which is doable for me and the only way I can fit all the story and plot points and conclusion in, in a satisfying way.

I made a start on one of the flashback scenes yesterday. I’d previously written out a whole flashback scene then deleted the whole thing because it just wasn’t good, and I was having trouble writing it and I’d imagined it so perfectly in my head that I wanted to do it justice. Well, yesterday I feel like I really made some progress with it and I’m happy! (If you don’t already know, WG 5 will have a few flashback scenes littered across the chapter to better understand what exactly happened with Ari/Steve/Kira etc in the past)

For all of those who keep asking when WG 5 will come out: please understand that 1) I never know when ANY of my fics will be updated bc this is something I simply can’t predict. And 2) Again, I want this chapter to be PERFECT and it’s going to be long. 40,000 words is a lot to write, it’ll at least take me a couple of months. I also have a job and other commitments that keep me busy but I’m still very very inspired and determined to write and complete the story of Ari, reader and Steve!

I guess all I’m saying is, please be patient with me🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🥺🥺 I will update this fic, but it’ll be some time before I do. In the meantime, I’d love to keep it alive with drabbles and discussions — I’m always open to that! But please don’t lose interest just because it’ll be awhile before I update! 🥺

Thank you 🥺🥺🫶🏼🫶🏼🩷🩷🥹🥹

[tadpolesonalgae]

So, I saw @acoazlove do this, and I thought it would be fun way of recapping this year of fanfiction! Also maybe a fun thing to come back to at the beginning of 2026!

These are the questions in an easily copy-able format if anyone else wants to join in!

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024? 2. How many fics did you complete this year? 3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year? 4. What was your favourite thing you wrote? 5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style? 6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or reception? 7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved and went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!) 8. Who is an artist that inspired you? 9. Who is an author that inspired you? 10. Who is a new author you discovered? 11. Did you start any collaborations? How did you start it? 12. What accomplishments are you proudest of? 13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year? 14. What is your advice? 15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

Absolutely zero. I don't know how it works but I will eventually learn. Just not today.

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

Around 80 I think! But that's including all those cbmthy chapters and additional parts to series, none of which are technically completed :')

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

If we're only counting the ones from this year, then I'm pretty sure it's only The Other Woman! (Maybe The Painter and The Prostitute, The Wrong Side of History, and The High Lord's Whore? Idk if those are going to be ongoing things or not though!) I think all my other ongoing fics were started either in '22 or '23! So not that bad!

4. What was your favourite thing you wrote?

This is such a difficult question </3 The Other Woman was a big piece for me in terms of the emotion that fuelled it, but I also loved cbmthy chapter 24, and Stalking Through The Underbrush! (But also Degraded for Nesta, and Shared Camomile for Elain)

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

I think maybe Blood-borne for Az, or To Old Gods for Tamlin? Blood-borne is a fic where I was really trying for atmosphere, and trying to build a scene to set up the story, and it was a similar case with To Old Gods with kind of writing fanfiction in a way I haven't tried before? I generally imagine Prythian to be a lovely place because of all the wonder magic can bring about, but Blood-borne was a little on the sinister side, and To Old Gods felt more Celtic/medieval than the kind of magic I generally think of being most prevalent throughout Prythian?

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or reception?

I think the Dark!Feysand, Tag, You're It series startled me since it's getting some plot? When it began as almost entirely smut. Also chapter 16 of cbmthy - I thought it was the worst chapter I'd written when I posted it but then some people were so kind about it and it's now one of my favourite chapters of the whole series! And as usual The Other Woman - that fic was definitely a step out of my comfort zone so hearing some people want more of her (the reader, her life, and her revenge), and being able to relate to some aspects of her anger, and hatred, was very personal and soothing to me.

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved and went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

I find this a hard question to answer because I'm not sure how to gauge it? I'm always happy that anyone is reading my writing and enjoying it, so in that sense there isn't a single piece I've written that I felt 'went under the radar'. That being said, if there was a fic I'd be particularly giddy if someone took interest in, it would probably be Messy Breakups and Messier Bedsheets for Cassian's day of acotar-omegaverse-week! Since there's only one part out currently there's not much to go on, but I'm planning for it to be a very fun and messy series, with some light-hearted angst that's more appropriate for a TV drama or something! :)

8. Who is an artist that inspired you?

A music artist would probably be Sofia Isella? I've been listening to her since before 2024 so I'm not sure if she counts but she's definitely put some ideas in my head for fic writing! Also Enya. And electronic music.

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

For fanfiction and general writing style: @azrielhours , @whisperingmidnights , and @throneofsapphics

Rags has a way of writing like she's sticking her hand right into my chest and soothing my heart. The way she captures softness and intimacy always blows me away and if I'm ever in a bit of a foul mood, or feeling generally disappointed in the world, her writing will always cheer me up without fail. It's genuinely so impressive just how intense her stories make me feel (pleasantly), and how perfectly she articulates special feelings relating to tenderness (Take Care; Lessons on Relief), and love of one's home. (Captured; Domestic) August has an incredibly vivid way of writing. I adore how she writes Rhysand in Heart of Velaris, and also how she writes Feysand, both in her Sunday Morning series and in Something Wicked <3 She also has some relatively niche interests (like her Helion x reader x Azriel fics - Sunlight & Shadow) but she writes them SO PASSIONATELY. Seriously, something just being kind of niche doesn't stop August from enjoying it which is lovely to see, both in her enjoyment of Gwynlain, and the pieces she's written for Gwyn and Rhys <3 Irene has written so much it's astonishing (I was so excited and overwhelmed when I first saw how much I'd get to read from her). I have such lovely memories of reading through Have Your Little Girlfriend, and Old Faces, over the summer when having breakfast, and I'm fairly confident I've devoured ever single smutty piece of hers that I can get my hands on (Pretty Girl? Passed out. Against The Contract? Jaw-dropping). I also usually despise angst but Irene does it too well. I can't resist. And it's also so cathartic in getting to read her angsty pieces then expressing sorrow either in the comments, or through an ask. <3

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

@secret-third-thing

STT I only found earlier this year (2024) but her writing style is so impressive. I'm frequently left feeling deeply anguished after reading her writing - she has a way of expression/articulation that has you understanding the environment she's writing in. She uses words I either don't know or have never heard of (yay, vocabulary expansion!), and creates settings and sceneries that are so incredibly immersive straight from the get go in a way I haven't read before. I'm sometimes left feeling a little disgruntled because her work feels so much further developed than my own writing style, but I think she's studied a lot more, read more, and worked to become a better writer. I find I admire how serious and meticulous she is about continuing to improve.

11. Did you start any collaborations? How did you start it?

Umm, I didn't initiate it, but @readychilledwine has been astonishing with organising the @thehouseofvanserra collaboration. She's the one who offered up dates for when to have fics ready by, checking with the writers involved whether the times would suit us, and has also been so understanding with writers who were unsure of whether they'll be able to overcome a block by then. She organised the majority of the collab, put the blog together, came up with cool designs (tested different fonts, different backgrounds, offered ideas on how to make the collaboration as fun for the writers and as many readers as possible, and has taken on the role of managing the blog), and has made the whole process run so smoothly - so I wanted to say a thank you for all the work she's put in so far for the sake of the collaboration <3

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

They're not really my accomplishments since I didn’t do the reaching out (The Scary Part), but I feel like I’ve made some more friends within the fandom, which is very nice.

@sarawritestories has been so kind and welcoming. She’s always so sweet and such a great listener, and seems to genuinely care about people and want the best for them! Not to mention I love Come Here, Sweetheart! 🧡💛 @ninthcircleofprythian is someone I look up to in how steadfast she is. I really admire her humour, even if I’m initially startled for a few moments 🤨 I think she’s strong willed and an amazing writer 🧡💛 (Stuck In The Middle With You? So sweet; so quintessentially Ninth) @pit-and-the-pen I love your music taste and your Az fics, and how encouraging you are whenever new ideas for fics are mentioned 🧡💛. (Please go to sleep. was so heartwarming—it’s such a comfort!) @daycourtofficial you’re always there to hype people up and you have such a charming sense of humour, not to mention I love all the bug facts! (And getting to talk about knitting. I love getting to talk about knitting) (And Falling In Love On The Fourth Floor - I love that fic!) 🧡💛 @readychilledwine I love your fluffy pieces, I love your smutty pieces, and you're such a kind, caring person to be around and talk to - there's nothing not to love! (Size kink with Az frequently sends me to heaven - amazing) 🧡💛 @dawneternal not only can you draw beautifully, but you’re also a wonderfully compelling writer! I love your characterisation of LoA/Edana in The Benevolent, and you’re such a joy to talk to 🧡💛 @nocasdatsgay you’re so sweet and so supportive 🧡💛 (I also started reading Neapolitan Bonds after you mentioned it maybe a week or so ago and it has sunk its CLAWS into my brain.) (cannot wait to read more you don’t understand!!) (thank you for writing it) @lady-of-tearshed you're the sweetest ball of fire I've ever met. I can always count on you to have some witty retort queued and at the ready <3 Also the beginning lines in Temporary made me so emotional. Stop. I'm not usually an Azris girlie but my horizons are being begrudgingly expanded 🧡💛 @tsunami-of-tears I LOVE YOUR DIVIDERS (obviously). The Seasonal and Solar Court ones in particular are so handy for specific acotar themes, and the halloween dividers you did were so cute (the pink ones specifically made me squeal) 🧡💛

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

Sometimes I just don’t feel like writing. I don’t yet know what causes it because honestly there could be so many reasons, and so many variables that I’m not - at this stage - interested in trying to figure out what they are.

14. What is your advice?

Just try and be happy with what you have. You can aim for more, you can be overwhelmed with how much you’ve achieved, but I think if you’re unhappy with where you are (in the context of sharing fanfiction specifically 😅) then it’s more difficult to enjoy the process. But I think that might be something you just have to learn through experience and not something that one can really have told to them.

15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

I want to tie up a few loose ends. I’ve accumulated quite a few short series for a few characters, and I would like to experience the satisfaction of finishing one off 🫠

[linnetagain]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤️

Aaaah I love this concept!! I feel like it's the default to put yourself down about your work and your art and I don't want to do that. I'm not going to claim that it's perfect or some kind of other ridiculous standard because it's not, but I have put my heart and soul and occasionally my entire ass into my writing and being depreciative about it feels like being deprecating of myself. I hadn't written for fun in so long, so to have found that again and to have made so many wonderful people happy along the way is more than I ever could have dreamed of just over a year ago. I refuse to not be proud of what I've created!

Anyway so

First Light will always be something I'm proud of. If I wrote it again now there'd be so many things I'd change, but it was the first thing I'd written in so long and it was so much fun.

(Cheating but I'm also really proud of some of the world building, plotting and dialogue in the post-game sequel - aside from the embarrassment that it will likely never get finished now)

I loved writing What Fools because it was something totally different from what I'd usually do. I needed a brain break from the intensity of other projects and I was literally just fucking around in my favourite setting with my favourite tropes like 'oooh and what if'. It's also kind of experimental structurally and I'm proud of the way it turned out. My weird little regency fae pride and prejudice meets midsummer night's dream meets bloodweave fic with a sentient house. So, thank you @gewhanaa for being the reason I wrote that.

I love A Good Heart because it's the fluffiest fucking thing I've EVER written, and it's proof that I CAN write short, dammit!! I CAN!!! Also it's about bloodweave being cat dads and Tara and Astarion being dubious allies and not at all friends

Good Men and Monsters is the exact opposite lol, I fully started it thinking it would be done in a week and it's not, but fuck it I've been having so much fun doing The Most Creepiest Victorian Gothic ~~ooooh~~. It's the furthest I've ever written outside of my comfort zone and I'm proud of what I've done with it. I'm still working on the ending of this one because it hates me but I'm proud of the theming, the stylistics, the references and the depth of thought in the imagery. It's one of my least popular fics statistically but the readers who do love it are so vocal it's become very special to me. I love it because it represents a challenge that I still haven't quite overcome, the writer that I'm still working on being, and I'm hopeful and excited about finishing it.

And finally, though I hate it as much as I love it sometimes, it has to be Season. It started out as something so different from what it's become, but the past year of writing it has been incredible on so many levels. To have been rejected by the publishing industry for so long, to let go of all of that and write something that would NEVER work as a conventionally published novel, that lives in a way fanfic can that physical novels can't, and means so much to so many readers, has been an utterly indescribable experience. I've written so much about things that I wasn't even really emotionally equipped to address when I started, and I genuinely feel like writing it has been a growing and healing process. It's not perfect by a long way, and I'm working on accepting that it doesn't have to be. That it can't be, really (what is perfect anyway??? It's fanfic we write for fun and for free for the love of the thing, and that's enough). Part of what I've learned is that not everyone will like everything you write and that's okay! That doesn't mean it's bad or I'm a bad writer, it just means it's not for them. That was an important lesson, I think, because it's made it easier to move on from a decade of rejections. Oh structurally and technically there are things I would probably change if I could, but I'm so proud of myself for writing it at all, and it's still a project that is teaching me every day. That's something special. And even if I totally flub the ending, I'll always be the person that this fic and the community I found through it have made me. And I'll forever be grateful for that.

So thank you for the lovely ask my friend 💕 I will be sure to pass on the love!!

[cabezadeperro]

2024 in review

I wasn't actually going to do this this year, but what the hell.

2024 has been--weird. I think it's the year I've written the least since 2020, word-wise; it also saw me writing something non-Star Wars related for the first time in four years. These two things may or may not be connected.

Anyhow, this is a pretty short list with five fics that for whatever reason I find the most interesting. They aren't my favourites, they're not the best; but they were hard to write, or I learned something writing them, or I had fun, etc.

half agony, half hope. 34k, codex, T, also known as the persuasion AU though it's more of a homage to one of my favourite novels ever. it was extremely hard to write and it took me a while to get out of my own way and just do it.

you'll like it if you enjoy pining and yearning, smart and competent people so deep inside their own asses they can't see what's right in front of them, the agonies of being 20 and responsible for the lives of millions of people and a clone trooper, jane austen, cody being fucking stupid.

home alone. 2.9k, jango fett/obi-wan kenobi, E. part of my daredevil AU. I don't think it's a very good fic, and I feel too self-conscious to reread it and find out if it's actually bad, but that's okay. The fact that I wrote something like this (that is, something that's quite a bit of my comfort zone for a couple reasons) is good enough imo.

you'll like it if you enjoy fics that are pwp but a bit to the left, trans jango fett, obi-wan being the annoying kind of service top, established relationships and domesticity, superhero AUs that aren't actually about superheroing.

islands. 9.4k, codex + anakin & rex, T. The Force Sensitive Rex fic. I am very proud of this fic. I think it does exactly what I wanted it to do, and I had a lot of fun writing it. I loooove writing these three in different combinations, and I really enjoyed having them interact in such a weird scenario.

you'll like it if you enjoy shrimp emotions, Force Stuff TM, force sensitive clones, fics where there's no Anakin bashing that acknowledge that there is something very wrong with him (affectionate), cody and rex being obsessed with each other, rex being a messed up lil guy.

smoke signals and code. 3.5k, jason todd/tim drake, T. This fic was my return to Batman comics and to this ship after a decade. I think it's kind of rough, but I'm still pretty proud of it, and I had so much fun writing them again and coming back to this world and these characters. In a lot of ways it was very much like coming home.

you'll like it if you enjoy unresolved sexual tension, calculated violence, characters who are too clever for their own good, that very specific brand of fucked-up-ness you find in late 90s/early 00s batman comics, ships that take the trope "enemies to lovers" as a challenge.

irradiated. 1.5k, vader/rex/cody, E. I wrote this as a gift for a friend. It's the kind of fic that is only supposed to be liked by one person--if anyone else enjoys it, that's great, but it is very much tailored for one person's tastes. In this case, that means it is weird as hell. There's a POV change half-way through, it's more of a character/relationship study, it actually doesn't have a plot, it sits right on the border between experimental and presumptuous, I'm not that sure it works. And I had a lot of fun writing it (and my friend liked it ❤️).

you'll like it if you enjoy second person point of view, Vader being weird, a bit of body horror in your not quite smut, open/ambiguous everything, Imperial Era stuff, weird style choices.

[solarwynd]

just a rant lmfao, but if jimin didn't release sgmb as a pre-release, would tumblr pjms be writing think pieces on his musical ability and lack of getting out of his comfort zone or nah? would they even think that if they heard when the album released instead of as a prerelease? it's so warped because people are now attributing sgmb as like a failure of his musical identity and how he needs to experiment when sgmb is pure experimental for jimin in terms of a sound he never gravitated to before in his music.

I watched this conversation unfold and it really had me scratching my head. I’m always very open to differing takes and POV but I was real 👎🏾 on that one. Jimin doesn’t have a comfort zone to begin with. No set style or sound and I prefer that from him because I love his range of musical variety. Just because he doesn’t pigeonhole himself into a specific sound does not make him “aimless” or mean he lacks identity. Nor does it mean his music isn’t cohesive. Because when has all the tracks on an album sounding similar mean it’s more cohesive? Sonically sure, but cohesion is not limited to sound. FACE was extremely cohesive because of the flow of storyline with the songs sounding completely different from each other.

Jimin’s already experimenting. There’s no two songs in his discography that sound the same. The only thing left for him to do is try out new music genres which he’s doing. So yea I do think that people’s lack of enthusiasm with SGMB (and CTT) has them feeling like he needs to settle into one thing so they know more or less what to expect. Had it been a bside that we didn’t hear until release day, I don’t think the takes would be as critical on the direction of his music. it probably would’ve just ended up a lesser liked one or maybe for some (and like myself now) come to appreciate it more thematically with the album. I still acknowledge that there are still people who don’t like it as a song, but in no way do I think that SGMB should be the draw point where people start trying to put Jimin in a box. (Even if it’s not a strict one) I just don’t think that’s fair to him and I hope he never does that to himself.

[tinkerjink]

I'll be honest your art sends me right back to when I was 11, watching tailsmo AMVs on my dad's computer. It makes me happy that people keep cosmo alive through their art. What are some things you like most about the ship?

Well, honestly there's plenty of things. First being their designs. I feel both are quite appealing, the orange and green side by side. Their dynamic in X was quite the change even if it turned sour at the end. Tails gathering courage, protecting a girl from harm. Standing up against someone who could beat him senseless yet not caring about the consequences one bit. That's true love and devotion. She even returned his kindness by tending to his wounds, delivering food, and just speaking to him as he rambled on.

I personally put more personality into these characters that may not be actually there. It's a way to make them human and more lively. Like how they look, Tails is more rough and messy. Cosmo is neater and pristine yet carefree in styles. My version of Cosmo is still shy under certain circumstances, but not as much. She's bolder, bubbly, very touchy, and flirty. While Tails is reserved, awkward and tense. Only really acting out when initiated. His love language is mostly his hard work, his presence, and gifts. While Cosmo love language is pretty much anything under the sun, more so experimental. Trying to force the poor fox out of his comfort zone. Eventually he might.

I just really like them, I'm probably rambling on now haha. They're cute, sweet, and I adore them a lot. I regret putting the ship on hold. I missed it. Over all I believe they're a great example of actual love.

[seventeenlovesthree]

@izumikoushiroweek: Day 2 - What are your Koushirou headcanons?

I probably have way too many headcanons for him to count, so I thought I'd be talking about 12, relating to each of the other Chosen Children and his Digimon partner.

Tentomon: As implied in this art, Tentomon has to remind Koushirou to not only use his PC set-up for work at times, but to get in touch with the outside world as well, including calling his parents. They maintain having a very loving bond and Koushirou actually enjoys talking to his family, even if he has that tendency to get lost in Chosen Children duty, thus pulling way too many allnighters in his office. Tentomon helps practicing to "talk about feelings" and such and since he was always integrated in almost all of Koushirou's activities as emotional support or "personal assistant" (aside from occasionally getting back into the server realm or Digital World to "recharge"), their bond has never vanished. (Practicing also includes hugs. Tentomon loves them dearly. Koushirou does too.)

Taichi: I probably have a million different headcanons when it comes to their bond, but I think one of the things I am particularly fond of is the idea that Taichi easily picked up on Koushirou's quirks and habits over the years - and that's why he notices stuff others don't realize that quickly. He is very particular about what exact brands of oolong tea Koushirou likes, that he cannot stand coffee or doesn't take alcohol very well. They also have tons of insiders and catchphrases other people just give them weird looks over. They're basically on each other's speed dial, especially considering they're working together as adults. And, last but not least, I think Taichi would be the very first human friend who learns about Koushirou's adoption history, being incredibly supportive about it. (One time, Yuuko probably said something along the lines of "If I could, I would already have adopted Koushirou-kun into our family" and Taichi almost flipped because of the wording, but Koushirou told him it was fine, since he knew she meant it well. They both get along with each other's moms very well by the way.)

Yamato: After they returned from the Digital World for the first time, Yamato actually fulfilled his (PSP game only) promise and showed Koushirou how to cook a few easy recipes (besides how to boil the perfect egg). While Koushirou will probably never be a master cook and prefers stuff that is easy to make/get and eat - and while working -, food is actually something they occasionally bond over. They may not be as passionate about it as Mimi and Daisuke, but they'd absolutely surprise the others with their very own curry creations.

Sora: I've probably mentioned this a million times already, but in my mind, they're destined to become "fashion (and texting) buddies". Takeru - as well as Mimi or Miyako - may be a hundred times more comfortable in being experimental, but these two definitely have to figure themselves out first and foremost, breaking some gender stereotypes in the meantime and would 100% be there for each other (while moping and bonding over Taichi's and Yamato's antics). Let Sora help Koushirou to find his own personal wardrobe while he would support her in getting her designs going digitally - once the time is right.

Mimi: Since Mimi slowly but steadily becomes more acquainted with technology through the years, it shouldn't be surprising that they're becoming "calling buddies". Mimi always preferred calling over typing and since Koushirou is helping her to set up her online business, they also end up chatting for hours without end about literally everything - and they absolutely suck at ending their calls. Mimi keeps telling Koushirou to rest, but she's terrible at just saying "Bye then!". Time zone differences make this even more of an issue and it often happens that one of them just falls asleep while the other rambles.

Jyou: Gomamon and Tentomon forced them to become "coffee shop buddies". I'm not kidding. They were so fed up with them burying themselves in uni/regular work that they ended up making them have "Go outside for a change, let's grab something to eat!!!" meetings once a month (at minimum, since Gomamon was done with cooking and wanted to get treats too and Tentomon loved the idea; occasionally they pull Sora and/or Taichi with them too). Since Jyou never felt intimidated by Koushirou's intellect but knows his struggles with "keeping his mental health together", they have an easy time blowing off some steam.

Takeru: Koushirou and Takeru actually grew closer with each other during "transition years" between middle and high school. With Taichi, Yamato and Sora facing high school entrance exams and eventually leaving middle school, Koushirou was more likely to spend time after school with "the 02 squad" for a while (and the two of them and Hikari would definitely have study sessions together at this point in time). Takeru is also among those who's more skilled with computers, which is why he's easily third admin of the Chosen Children network (with Miyako being second), but also likes to ask Koushirou for advice - who happily rambles along (and they're also "meme buddies", sending each other random stuff in the middle of the night they came across and thought the other would find interesting). Takeru will also be among the first who gets to hear about his adoption history in more detail and he'll absolutely feel more attached to Koushirou because of it.

Hikari: Aside from me being convinced that he is archiving all the photos she's been taking in the Digital World for years (while also helping her to set up her own digital photobooks), one of my favourite headcanons is that Hikari's the main reason why Koushirou turned out to be "a cat person"; he has been around the Yagami residence way too many times in his life and probably thought he couldn't really "get along" with cats in general. But Miko, after having been reluctant at first, warmed up to him rather quickly after Hikari kept her around in the same room as them. So the cat would just end up resting next to him while he was typing away on his laptop. (Sometimes he watches Tentomon curling into a ball when falling asleep next to him and Koushirou cannot help but feel reminded of a cat as well and he finds it adorable.)

Daisuke: Despite Ken being the closest person to him overall, Daisuke has had a hard time talking to Koushirou for YEARS, still having a tendency of wanting to appear extra smart in front of him. It was a lot easier when Taichi, Ken or Mimi were around, he could talk normally then, but even worse when Takeru was there too, because he felt double-intimidated. Koushirou noted that behaviour, didn't get it though, so Taichi had to explain it to him in a sense of "Imagine being the new kid in football club that thinks he can't kick a ball if the ace striker is watching him", to which Koushirou just nodded. They absolutely met for a football match a few days later - and that's how Koushirou ended up in goal, Daisuke, who scored numerous goals against him, started to act a lot less tense afterwards.

Ken: Imagining a scenario in which Menoa gets redeemed (and maybe after they find a way to get their partners back), I could see Koushirou and Ken being very keen to make her realize that she should also rather invest her intellect in improving the infrastructure between the worlds instead of harbouring feelings of vengeance and bitterness... They're all smart muffins with bug babies after all. (And Koushirou would definitely be interested in figuring out why both Ken and Menoa were so prone to "getting corrupted" while he himself was mostly spared... They're not exactly prone to trauma dumping, Ken in particular struggles with it a lot, but that's another case of "once he knows Koushirou's back story, it gets easier to open up.")

Miyako: Miyako pretends that she's bothered by Chosen Children Network duty a lot, and it maaaay be a bit bothersome at times, but the truth is that she felt intimidated by all the effort Koushirou put into it. Aside from Iori, she always looked up to him as senpai the most and didn't want to appear incapable in comparison. If Koushirou didn't know he could entrust it to her, he would have given it to Takeru first, but despite her spunky, sometimes unpredictable nature, he trusted in her judgement and communicative skills from the start without a doubt.

Iori: By the start of his uni life, Iori really values the privacy of Koushirou's office to use it as study space - especially because he's getting resources there for law school he wouldn't easily get access to without spending horrendous amounts of money. And because they just enjoy each other's company, being a lot more grounded than the rest of their friends. Just like in middle school, they end up having study sessions, often joined by Takeru, but also occasionally by Ken, going through several of their study subjects - sometimes they even go for outside activities (because Koushirou is most likely not used to those anymore and needs to keep up on physical training too - when they get the opportunity, they take Jyou with them too).

[alterousuggestion]

I'm very new to alterous attraction. It's very hard for me to really... Get a grasp on, honestly? If you could try to explain it would be very appreciated. I hear it spoken about like a truly wonderful thing, but I don't even know what it means besides "the secret third thing" and beyond the platonic/romantic/sexual/aesthetic model I used

hi screaming-cricket !! if i’m being honest, i don’t really know how to explain it either, ahaha. i know that’s not very helpful, but it truly is something that is in a gray zone for myself and a lot of other people (although not all). to me, alterous attraction is something that is very distinctly it’s own thing: it doesn’t feel like something i would typically associate with platonic friendships, but they do not feel inherently romantic either. in fact, calling them romantic or forcing them into the romantic category makes me so uncomfortable. there is overlap though, for example, whenever i experience alterous or platonic attraction, i feel these things in both cases:

wanting to talk/call/video call with them 

looking forward to hang outs

thinking about how we both consider each other a friend is something that makes me happy 

happy after seeing them, sad when they are upset, wanting to see them grow and achieve their dreams and be the best version of themselves 

but there are also noticeable differences:

the level of emotional intimacy i want to achieve with an alterous ‘crush’ is different compared to platonic friendships. i want to know them inside out, and i want them to know me inside out too. i want to be the first person they turn to for support, and i want them to be that for me too. 

calling them my ‘best friend’ is amazing, but it doesn’t seem to fully encompass all i feel for them. calling them my boyfriend/girlfriend/etc., also doesn’t feel accurate, and in a lot of ways, it feels limiting and really uncomfortable. like i do care for them platonically, but that doesn’t feel right, but romantic doesn’t feel right either. 

the level of physical intimacy is also different. i want to be close to them, i imagine taking naps with them. i want to hold their hand. maybe, if i knew they thought about me in the same way, i’d be open to kissing them too. warning for sexual themes in the indented bulletpoints:

when it comes to someone i am alterously attracted to, i am more comfortable with experimentation sexually. that does not mean i am sexually attracted to them (i am also ace), but it’s more like... they make me feel comfortable to try to do those things purely for enjoyment or to feel closer to someone, as long as it’s taken the same way by both parties. 

there is also a desire for a more involved future: i wish they would stay with me in a committed partnership, i want to share a living space with them in the way traditional romantic partners do. i want to share my life in general with them more intimately. 

think of it like... i walk alongside my friends and even though we take different paths, we still converge. for those i am alterously attracted to, i want to do life with them, but hand in hand. i want to go where they go (metaphorically). i want to take those steps with them. now that doesnt mean i want to abandon my own goals, or expect (or want) them to do that for me, but i want the path we take to be closer than others. 

i know that a lot of people might take a look at these things and go ‘i’m okay with doing that with people i am platonically attracted to’ or ‘this is what i want when i am romantically attracted to someone’ and that’s okay !!! relationships are not ‘one size fits all’. all relationships look different. for me, this is as close as i can explain what it feels/means to me. to me, it is something completely outside the platonic/sexual/aesthetic/etc models. alterous is it’s own thing. and it’s confusing to explain but it all boils down to those different feelings. and if you’re wondering whether or not you feel this, i think i would suggest taking a deep breath and maybe even a step back. make a list, if that helps, about what you’d do with a friend vs a romantic partner, and try to make the boundaries as clear as possible. and then think ‘ have i done things that are a mix of both with someone? did our relationship feel different in a way i couldn’t quite pin down? something that is there but also seems not there at the same time?’. if so, you might be dealing with alterous attraction. 

this reply is getting really long, but i guess what i mean to say that it if people are vague about what it feels like, it’s because it is a vague feeling. it’s unique. by listen to your mind and body: does it feel right calling something alterous? does it make you feel happy, and relieved? that’s how i started when i was questioning and then the boundaries and stuff like that became more clear to me after that :3

[in-every-reality]

Hi! I hope your doing well!

I feel like we are particularly parched when it comes to Tam x reader (Or any Kotlc x reader) especially on Tumblr so I was wondering if I could request a Tam (Kotlc) x f!reader where reader is also a flasher and is a little jealous of Rayni. Not in a way where she hates Rayni but more like she feels like Rayni would be so much more perfect for Tam. Also reader being Keefe's sister and while Gisela was giving Rayni a home, she was neglecting her actual kids and so reader never really feels like she deserves to be loved. Maybe she was kind of like a backup in case Keefe messed up and Gisela tested a lot of things on her like she was an experiment. Reader feels really guilty because she does like Rayni and she feels like she's in the way and very out of place. I know guilt can be really serious within the lost cities so its like shes trying to push it out of her mind and just stop feeling. Maybe she ends up breaking down in front of Tam and he comforts her.

I really hope I made sense here because I'm super bad at this and its my first time requesting something, haha. Thank you and I hope you have a great day! :)

(Trope: Hurt/comfort w/ established romantic relationship)

A/N: Thank you so much for the request! Sorry it took me so long to finish this 😭 I started writing it a week after I got it and it took me a week to finish (no excuse there). I’ve missed writing for my favorite boy <3 I took some creative liberties with this request (majorly self-indulgent… my bad) :

reader is a flasher, but has some other abilities as well due to experimentation

reader was taken to the Neverseen with Tam during Flashback/ Legacy, but they didn’t have much time together and their experiences were pretty different.

Reader wasn’t raised with Keefe, despite being Gisela’s daughter — and Cassius is NOT her father (though no other clear parents are outlined in this work).

Hope you all had a great Christmas (or any holidays you celebrate around this time) and Happy New Year! My requests are open <3

CW: use of y/n, angst, mentions of breakup/leaving (doesn’t happen), forms of SH (overworking to the point of pain), blood, death mentioned, torture mentioned, violence, ability malfunction, kissing (nothing too heavy), language (f#ck is said once).

Nothing.

You could find absolutely nothing to hate about Rayni Aria.

Sure, she had her flaws — she was vague, had an attitude, had bound you and Tam with ethertine and forced you both into Keefe’s “transformation,” and was part of the terrorist group that had been trying to kill your friends for years.

But you just… couldn’t hate her.

Her shiny, black hair that seemed to float before her face as she spoke, her petite build adding to her angelic beauty, and her pale blue eyes that stood in stark contrast to her bronze skin — they all worked to make Glimmer absolutely stunning.

You were sure your boyfriend had noticed the same; you couldn’t help but wonder how he stayed with you when she was right there.

No. You wouldn’t let yourself think like that, not when Tam had always assured you of his loyalty to you; not when Rayni had helped you through living with the Neverseen just like him (albeit your relationship was more awkward with Gisela in consideration); and definitely not when you had so many greater issues to worry about.

“[Y/N].”

You were pulled from your thoughts as a voice called your name, and only then did you realize you had zoned out. “Sorry, what was that?”

Rayni pursed her lips. “I just asked if you were down for lunch.” She paused, a look as close as she could get to concern across her face. “You alright? You’ve been… spacey, recently.”

“Yeah — I mean, yeah, I’m fine. But I’m… not hungry. Thanks, though.” You walked over to where she and your boyfriend stood, picking up your Imparter from the coffee table between them and pressing an absent-minded kiss to Tam’s cheek. “I’m gonna get out of here for a little while.”

He tilted his head into the contact, but it was gone all too soon. He looked down at you, slightly puzzled. “You sure?”

Rayni raised an eyebrow, her gaze flitting between you and Tam — but she kept quiet.

You nodded, though your smile definitely looked forced. “I’m sure. I’ve been meaning to get some training in. Just need some time to think, yeah?” You laced your fingers with his, giving his hand a light squeeze before pulling back.

“Yeah, okay,” he muttered. His touch lingered on yours for a heartbeat longer, but he didn’t push.

Rayni looked you up and down for a moment, but she didn’t seem interested enough to press further either. “…Okay, then. Catch you later?”

“Later,” you muttered, though you were already halfway out the door.

<>

You flexed your palms, energizing and dimming the multicolored orb before you. After the ethertine had blocked your umbrakinesis for a while, you’d had some time to focus on your other abilities — specifically Flashing.

Not that you were making much progress. You had to keep it small, and you couldn’t control anything “experiment-worthy;” you were probably on par with Wylie. The last time you’d tried something bigger, you’d ended up blind for two hours and the strobe rays were visible from Eternalia. It was the one ability you couldn’t seem to get some control over.

Deep down, part of you couldn’t help but stop yourself before you could do anything substantial. Even so many days after you’d been freed, you still felt the freezing burn of the ethertine bonds at your wrists, the flashes at your eyes when you were using your other abilities without orders. You weren’t sure you’d ever truly recover your relationship with the light. Maybe you’d never be able to use it properly.

Unlike Glimmer.

Were you even useful as a Flasher anyway? The team already had Wylie and Elwin, and Rayni’s mastery had rendered yours practically obsolete.

You closed your fist, the orb vanishing. This wasn’t going anywhere.

Maybe it was time to move onto something else, something you were confident in.

If there was one thing you were good for, it was fighting.

<>

Eighteen. Your hands were growing sore.

Nineteen. That’s when your knuckles began to sting.

Twenty. You let your hands drop to your sides, rubbing at the crescent indents in the heels of your hands from your knuckles digging into your palms. The cloth hand wraps were coming loose, but you couldn’t be bothered to fix them.

With each breath, your chest heaved. Your forearm came up to rest against the leather of the punching bag, forehead following in suit as you closed your eyes and took a minute to breathe.

That was set three… out of ten.

With one final groan, you took a step back and shook out your hands. Raising your fists again, you braced for set four.

One.

Damn, this hurt.

Two.

What other choice did you have?

Three.

This was all you were made for.

Four.

Hit after hit.

Five.

Punch after punch.

Six.

Strike first.

Seven.

Or take it.

Ei—

“[Y/N].” Tam stood at the entrance, arms folded over his chest as he crossed the room to you.

Your fist paused, lowering back to your side as you looked to the doorway of your training gym. You visibly relaxed, turning to face him with the closest thing to a smile you could muster. “Hi,” you said breathlessly. “You doing okay?”

“I should be asking you,” Tam deadpanned, stopping before you. “I haven’t seen you in over an hour, you haven’t eaten in six — what’s going on with you lately?”

Oh. So, you hadn’t been that subtle. “It’s nothing. Just… felt like clearing my head.” You turned back to the punching bag, fists up once again.

“What’s on your mind, love? I can’t help if you’re not telling me anything.”

You felt a pang of guilt at the love in his voice, the concern etched between his features. “I don’t even know myself. Everyone has enough on their plate. Guess I’m just… feeling a little guilty for this whole thing, you know?” You sent another punch, avoiding eye contact. “Got everybody so worked up over us being gone—” Hit. “—but I’m not really that useful while I’m here, either.”

Eight. Nine. Your hits grew erratic. You lost track of the counts in your head, knuckles landing harder and harder.

You heard him draw in a breath, letting out a low sigh as he stepped closer, holding the bag still. “Stop that. You know how dangerous guilt is. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Ten. Eleven. You had everything to be sorry for. Countless times you had lost control, distracted everybody by almost getting yourself killed.

Twelve. You’d gotten the Black Swan a few victories, sure. You were a good fighter; but you couldn’t fight yourself long. You were fast. You couldn’t outrun the truth, though. You were powerful; yet you couldn’t overtake your own head when it really mattered.

Thirteen. “I know.” Lie. “Not something I can really control, is it?”

His hand caught your next punch, wrapping over your knuckles. “[Y/N].”

You forced yourself to glance up, stomach dropping. Tam’s eyes were narrowed, but you caught purely calculating worry in the way he looked over you.

He took your hand into both of his. “You’re bleeding.” You could do nothing but watch his movements as he carefully removed the wrappings on your knuckles, stepping so close you could feel his breath against your neck.

It felt like a lifetime before he finally dropped your hands — though he didn’t let go. “You’ve been so distant since we came back. I know everyone deals with things differently, but I’m worried about you.” With two fingers on your chin, he tilted your face up to really look at him. “Talk to me.”

Maybe it was the softness of his voice. Maybe it was the gentle touch on the back of your hand. Whatever it was, something about his actions made you fall apart.

You felt your eyes begin to burn, tears blurring your vision and threatening to spill over. You managed a whisper, guilt gripping at your throat.

“It’s not about us coming back.”

Tam cocked his head, lips pursed in confusion.

“I mean, it is, a little.” Your eyes dropped to the side. “Feels like… maybe I shouldn’t have. Like everyone would’ve been better off.” Your voice got thick, and you could feel Tam tense at your side.

“And what the hell would lead you to think that?”

The solemnity of his voice destroyed you, and before you knew it, you had resorted to punching again. “I’m being replaced anyway. I can’t keep up with what I’m needed for, anymore. I might be powerful, but I don’t have enough else going to keep being a priority.” At this point, you were talking to yourself. It was as if he wasn’t even there, your words taking over your own thoughts. The only thing grounding you to your surroundings was your damp, stinging knuckles slamming into cold, rough leather.

You swallowed your cries, blinking furiously as your vision clouded. Yet, you couldn’t stop yourself from continuing.

“[Y/N], please. What are you talking about?”

“I know she’s better than me. You know it, the group knows it, my own mother knows it—” Your words caught in your throat, tears finally spilling over. You laughed. It was a sound without humor, a sound of hysteria, mixing terribly with your broken sentences. Your punches stopped, arms wrapping around the punching bag as you slide to your knees.

Tam instantly crouched down beside you, an arm wrapping around your waist to hold you up. His other hand guided your head into the crook of his neck as his thumb ran over your jaw. Realization settled into him like wading into cold water — he wanted to step back, back to where it was more comfortable, back to where he didn’t have to acknowledge his own wrongs.

But for you, he stepped forward.

“…This is about Glimmer.” His voice was soft; no judgement, no impatience.

You forced yourself to pull your face from the warmth of his shoulder, staring up at him. You hated realizing how pathetic this must seem. You hated being seen like this, so immature in your jealousy.

“It’s not her fault,” you whispered. “But… ever since she came back with us, I haven’t mattered. I don’t know if I ever really have. Gisela chose her. All those years I didn’t even know I was hers, never had any acknowledgement her blood ran through my veins, and she was out there raising Rayni like her own perfect daughter. And I know–I know that’s not fair, I know Gisela mistreated her, too, but… why not me? All that work into making me the perfect weapon, and she tossed me aside. But that’s not… Glimmer’s fault.”

Tam held your gaze, a hand on your shoulder keeping you steady. “And… you’re going to trust the infamously manipulative terrorist leader’s judgement? [Y/N]. Gisela didn’t choose you because she knew she couldn’t control you. She’s quite possibly the worst person to have approval from. And you — you’re strong, yes. You’re powerful, yes. But you’re so much more than that to all of us, okay? You’re so much more than that to me. However, I know you, which means I know there’s something else to this. You said Rayni was better than you. You said… ‘everyone knows it.’ Do you—do you think I think that?” His voice was still calm, but a little worry seeped in.

You wanted to give him the good answer. The right answer. You tried to assure yourself, to assure him, you really did.

“Of course not. It’s just… I’ve seen the way everyone looks at her. You’re not quite the same, but it’s close. She’s just so… so beautiful. Fuck, she’s amazing. No matter how much everyone wants to hate her, I know they all see it. I know you see it. And it feels like I left everything worth loving about me in the Neverseen. I don’t have it in me to be beautiful anymore.”

He blinked slowly, letting out a sigh. His grip tightened gradually as he tugged you onto his lap, his heartbeat against yours.

“[Y/N]. Please. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry that I haven’t made sure you know that. To tell you the truth… I have been talking to Rayni more; and I have been talking to you less. But… Sources, I—the issue was never you. And it was never that I preferred Rayni. I was scared, love. I was scared that I lost what was worth loving; that I wouldn’t be enough for you after what the Neverseen took from us, from me. I spent more time with Rayni because it was easier to face her and know she’d done worse, to know I’m on her level at least… than to be with you, and know I may never deserve you; to know I’m not the light you need.”

You cupped your hands around his neck, about to speak, but he stopped you.

“But this isn’t about me right now. Because I know better. I know, even if I don’t deserve it, I’ll always be yours. This is about you. The point is, I haven’t done nearly as well as I should have at making you feel loved.” Tam paused, brushing your hair out of your face. “You are loved. Not just by me… but especially by me.” You smiled at that, and some of the remorse in his heart eased.

“I love you,” he whispered. “It will always be you.”

You two stayed like that for a while.

Just him and you.

<>

Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed <3

[brambletakato]

Des(cole And/Or mond)

uhh,, ruh oh (prequel spoilers)

To be honest like 50% of my brainrot comes from both my campaign Des and the backstory for such which is VERY far removed from canon, but that doesn't mean I'm NOT insane about this man looking at him from the canon PL angle. Like I don't really know where to start?? Uhh

I think he's literally the perfect guy to analyze psychologically. Leon is a fucking nightmare to try and figure out, meanwhile Des has so many interesting twists and turns and themes to interpret (even if his character slightly gets a bit off-balanced in Eternal Diva)

Descole presents himself as calculative, cunning, smug, mysterious, and strong-willed. Within a presence, he keeps up his persona with an honestly charming dramatic flair that nobody asked for, which is already on the chart for what makes a character a viable blorbo for me

But when you take a look of who he was, who wanted to be, and who he could be, he quickly becomes such a morally complicated character.

Like really quickly I'm going to get this out of the way; I have a MASSIVE pet peeve to those that say Descole did nothing wrong. He did do a lot of fucked up shit, and I'm not excusing any of that. Removing the responsibility of his consequences would make his character bland imo. He's not morally purely black or white, but he's in a dark gray zone where, while he had a strict no-kill rule, he still inflicted harm on the people in his way and the homes they resided in. He isn't afraid to dabble into even human experimentation if it means to get to his goals, even if he has the greater good in interest.

So about the lighter morals of him, he still has a string of humanity in him. He isn't completely lost to corruption unlike Leon, but he isn't completely recovered like Layton. He still sets off on a self-destructive path to revenge, but he only allows himself to get set ablaze (in his pov, not in the outsider's perspective).

A friend said that he's still the little boy that ultimately wants his family back, whether that's his parents or his wife and daughter, and that AAAUGHHRHRA OUUUUGH :((( RGRR :CCCCCC

Speaking of, Desmond. Desmond was never meant to exist.

In his eyes, it would only be Hershel Bronev that died, and whatever comes later would be the host of his vengeance. But Desmond was soon given a meaning, a light elsewhere, tender hands and a fond gaze that said that they loved him. Suddenly he was somebody else. He was somebody else that started putting down books, that started to wish for something other than revenge.

And the fact that, even if once, he was a man that has felt what hope is like fucking KILLS ME... Sometimes I wonder if he even felt fearful of the thought when he realized he was starting to focus less on revenge. Suddenly, there was somebody that he was starting to care about, somebody that was there for him emotionally and physically, somebody that he so dearly wanted to lean on their shoulder and ask if everything will be okay. And the only time he felt that was with his previous family. The ones that were taken away.

He's almost shy to feel that sense of longing again, like a neglected dog feeling a gentle hand brush their head for the first time. It's intoxicating. It's fearful. It's so, so comforting. He wants more. But he is scared of being hurt again. Scared of losing somebody again. He's scared. Scared, fearful. It's all that controlled him. Fear and hate.

But he still tries, despite everything he sees, there's a part of him that still wanted to live, to experience, to love. There's a part of him that wants to break out of such a wretched life and to start anew, to finally lay rest of his woes. And he does, for a little while.

And the worst part was that he was right in the end. They too would be ripped away. And there was no more hope, no more Sycamore.

I'm an extreme advocate that Descole has existed for longer, not right after the death of his wife and daughter. He existed ever since his parents were kidnapped, ever since he lost Theodore. Descole never had a name, but he was there in concept. He was only put at the full front in full blast when he had truly lost everything.

This also means he can never be fully Desmond again by the end of Azran Legacy, if at all. He can never fully be Descole either, because there's nothing he can fuel on. He's just nothing. He's an empty husk. He says that a new adventure awaits, but what is there really? There is no point, no promise. He is aimless from then on. Perhaps his adventure is to find a purpose once more.

This is also why I REALLY want him to return in NWOS one day. Maybe his search for a purpose leads him right back to the person that was there when his life crumbled for the first time; Layton. Maybe despite his fear of loss, he still internally wants something to cling onto, because an aimless life would probably drive him to insanity or extreme biting mental torment. Or maybe he feels indebted to Layton in some way? Perhaps for his betrayal, perhaps for hiding their relation, perhaps for everything he has done.

He still did terrible things. Would Layton even accept him back into his life, especially after all of that? He is deserving to nobody. Eventually the consequences of what he has done will catch up in a terrible mental form. I really think that his self-esteem has been low, but it would ESPECIALLY plummet after everything.

(ahem uhh. side note if flora comes back in nwos, the two should come as a package deal and des should be the cool uncle that unofficially adopted her from layton, i think these two would benefit each-other in both a character and a psychological way COUGH COUGH also we need flora fencing COUGH COUGH)

I can ramble so much about the other little things like his thoughts about his parents (especially his mother), raymond, the brief and scary visit of familiar warmth when he was getting comfortable with the bostonius gang, etc etc but this post would be so god damn long

anyway so he's more-so a special interest than a hyperfixa--//dragged away

[babsvibes]

Happy 2024 to one of the biggest hypemen in the Burger fandom (you!!).

I just wanted to let you know how invaluable you have been/are to the creatives within this community. You've definitely inspired myself and several other illustrators at the very least! Providing us with material/content that many of us may have otherwise left unnoticed! You've definitely helped pioneer to keep the fandom full of fresh or engaging ideas. Even if divisive, your ideas make an impression and get the community talking, and ain't that half the battle? 👉😎👉 (Jack Conway ref for the eagle eyed folks lmao). And for that I/we are very grateful for your role in the Burger collective!!

So my ask Is;

Is there anything new/experimental you want to branch into this year? Anything outside the comfort zone you're wanting to try?

My love 🥺🥺💕 this means the world to me, thank you! People can be nervous sharing their thoughts, so if all it takes is one person asking about it then I can be that person. You put love out and you see it spread, you know? Me being divisive is kinda funny because 3/4 of the time I’m trying to get folks to connect or play games. But unfortunately 1/4 of the time I have my own interests 😭😭 What can you do except keep trying to build the good up!

For branching out, I’m not good at art/design, but I might try to organize a zine, maybe? That’s a huuuge undertaking that is way outside of my comfort zone though. For now I’ll stick to ship/appreciation weeks. Can @seemoreseymoursbay count as experimental? I’m going to be seeing ships and characters I don’t think about as often, so it’ll be like a new thing… sort of 😅

Thank you so much for the ask and for being so sweet! I’m glad I can poke creatives like you and see the community thrive in return!

[deetalksastro]

✧࿓☾⋆ ˚｡⋆˚ feb 6, 2023 - feb 12, 2023 astro transits

©deetalksastro ✦ All rights reserved. //don’t claim it as your own and/or repost it on other platforms.//

‼️ disclaimer: this is my personal interpretation based on my understanding. remember, this is an overview. for specifics, a person's chart needs to be analyzed. therefore, you might or might not relate to this.

┖ reblogs are very much appreciated💜

TRANSITS OVERVIEW

⭐―― MERCURY CONJUNCT PLUTO On February 10, Mercury will conjunct Pluto (approx 8 days). This can bring lots of enthusiasm when it comes to sharing opinions, thoughts, and ideas, with an emphasis on these being most likely in the taboo zone. There might be an urge to dig deeper into different topics, especially the topics that you find mentally stimulating. This is really a time when your mind feels more intense than usual, but it can be very good for gathering and analyzing information that you're interested in. What you need to be careful with is to not become too engrossed with your own mind and also to not over-estimate yourself. note: this one is quick to become an "out of sign" conjunction so its effects might be watered down. ⭐―― MERCURY ENTERS AQUARIUS On February 11, Mercury will leave Capricorn, enter Aquarius and stay there for the next 21 days approx. This fits quite well with "Mercury conjunct Pluto" since Aquarius' energy will bring mental freedom. You might feel more comfortable with ideas that don't have a solid foundation yet but have the potential to be innovative.

RISING SIGNS

♈︎ ―― ARIES RISING (10th and 11th house): mind focused on improving career. making plans and organizing things in such a way that will ensure that your goals/ambitions benefit from them. a more experimental approach than practical. involving your friends or them involving themselves. meeting and/or joining new social groups.

♉︎ ―― TAURUS RISING (9th and 10th house): mind focused on expanding knowledge. learning from others, but also teaching others. the information obtained might be helpful in pushing goals further (if we speak career, it can benefit from said information). traveling for knowledge. more inclined to share what you know, especially if that's not your thing usually.

♊︎ ―― GEMINI RISING (8th and 9th house): intense experiences that might affect your mind. opportunity to delve deeper into your thoughts and better understand yourself. dealing with issues involving what you share with others (it might be something that has been bugging you for a while, but you didn't feel like you have the mental power to deal with it). these intense experiences might broaden your horizons, and open your mind to new ideas, beliefs and knowledge.

♋︎ ―― CANCER RISING (7th and 8th house): looking deeper into the relationships you have. if you've had something on your mind regarding one or multiple relationships, this might be the time when you speak up about it, making it clear that you're serious and not joking around. finding new ways in dealing with your resources.

♌︎ ―― LEO RISING (6th and 7th house): analyzing your current lifestyle/routine. mental focus on improving your daily life (you might start learning about things that can help you with improving). good time to openly communicate with people that you have a relationship with, especially if there are lingering issues that haven't been solved yet.

♍︎ ―― VIRGO RISING (5th and 6th house): fun activities that stimulate your mind (be it for entertainment only or for educational purposes). opportunity to make creative ideas a reality. you might get out of your norm when planning things in advance regarding your daily life or work.

♎︎ ―― LIBRA RISING (4th and 5th house): focus on understanding better what makes you feel safe and what brings you peace of mind. you might share with who you see as a family your deeper thoughts. thinking of the past. looking for new ways to entertain and relax your mind. if you had to deal with an issue, you might feel like your mind has been freed from something that weighted heavily.

♏︎ ―― SCORPIO RISING (3rd and 4th house): very active in communication. you might feel like your mind is never taking a break. great time to just gather information and analyze it. might feel mentally exhausted (this might happen when mercury enters Aquarius, therefore your 4th house). looking back on your past with a more open mind and perhaps, with different eyes.

♐︎ ―― SAGITTARIUS RISING (2nd and 3rd house): taking a more in-depth look at your values and/or financial situation. emphasis on material affairs though (perhaps you're making plans to purchase something or you're in the process of purchasing something; more inclined to negotiate). finding new ways to communicate.

♑︎ ―― CAPRICORN RISING (1st and 2nd house): increased objectivity. you might jump from one thing to another. need to travel (short distance usually). you might find it easier to express your views to others. putting mental energy into "projects" you find useful and can bring you benefits, especially if it's money-related.

♒︎ ―― AQUARIUS RISING (1st and 12th house): tendency to blurt out your thoughts (you might not want to share what you think, but you end up doing it anyways, without realizing it even). focus on abstract concepts and ideas. avoiding confrontations. great opportunity to research.

♓︎ ―― PISCES RISING (12th and 11th house): you might hesitate to say what needs to be said to others, but not when it comes to your friends with which you might have very open discussions. meeting new people, perhaps through people that are already part of your social circle. taking a closer look at what your social standards are.