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sammysstolenbirks · 2 months

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silver storm

chapter II

I'm really enjoying writing this so far so i might just speed run it atp 💀 also there might be some typos, I've been righting bits and peices at like 3am but I'm trying

WARNINGS

angst, swearing, mention and uses of drugs and alcohol, mentions of mental health issues, death, smut (eventually)

JOSH POV

i wake up to the sound of my alarm blasting in my ear. i quickly shut the annoying sound off and check the time. 6:30. perfect. i get up and stretch before heading to the bathroom. unsurprisingly sam is already in there, no doubt styling his hair. and they call me a diva. i bang on the door "Cmon sam other people live here too"

Sam yells through the door "i got here first, you can't wait 10 minutes?"

"We both know your gonna spend an hour in there. Hurry your ass up."

I hear Sam yell something else but its too late for me to hear as i walk back to my room to check my phone. I smile as I see a text from y/n.

𝐲/𝐧 ☀

𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐢 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐢 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐬 𝐢 𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐥. 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥?

𝐉𝐨𝐬𝐡

𝐇𝐞𝐲 𝐧𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭. 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐤?

𝐲/𝐧 ☀

𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 :)

i smile at my phone before hearing Sam finally getting out of the bathroom. I run to it before he has a chance to change his mind and take another 40 minutes. I finish up my morning routine which consists of showering, personal hygiene things, getting dressed and grabbing all of my stuff before walking downstairs. Im just about ready to leave when I hear Sam behind me.

"Hey Josh? Can I catch a ride to school? Jake took my car to see valerie again and he's not back yet, surprise surprise.

I consider telling him no, as I'm sure he doesn't want to see y/n this early, but that thought is quickly replaced with the possibility of them getting along.

"Yeah sure Sam let's go"

Y/n would never come if she knew Sam was invited, and Sam would try to find another ride if he knew where I was going. So I decided not to tell either of them. Maybe they could put their differences aside for one morning, and maybe that could turn into a couple mornings, and before I know it I'll be an uncle. Okay maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, but it would be nice for them to be friends at least.

Sam and I get into the car and drive. I see his confusion through my peripheral vision as were not driving on the road we normally go to school on.

"Uh Josh? Where are we going?"

"Oh did I not tell you? Were getting coffee this morning... With y/n." I try to fight off the grin creeping onto my face, but just let it take over. Sam looks at me like I just shit in his Cheerios. He scoffs writhes in his seat like a toddler. Typical sammy

"Are you kidding Josh? Yeah I think you forgot to mention that. Asshole."

I chuckle "youll thank me one day"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean"

I simply shrug my shoulders and smile. as we pull into the parking lot I see y/n through the window of the tiny shop on her phone. i smile at the sight, while I'm sure Sam had a completely opposite expression. I park and have to bribe sam with a free coffee to get him to go inside with me. We make it inside and make our way to y/n, whos jaw clenches as she sees sam dragging his feet behind me. I say a silent prayer that this won't go nuclear, But knowing them, this will be world war three.

Y/N POV

As I see Josh come around the corner, i smile widely. but as he closes the gap between us, i see the raven haired boy strolling behind him. There goes my hope for a good morning. i get up to greet Josh, pulling him in a hug, also preparing to reprimand him for bringing Satan himself.

"Hey kid" Josh says, searching my face for a reaction.

"Hey" i lean up into his ear to whisper, "why is he here?"

"He needed a ride since jake still has his car, seeing you know who"

I nod and feel my eye twitch "can he stay in the car"

Josh chuckles "itll be fine y/n, who knows, maybe you'll enjoy it"

I roll my eyes and chuckle. We sit down and a waitress comes to take our order with a smile

"good morning guys, what can I get y'all?"

Josh answers first, reading the lady's name tag, "good morning to you too, 𝘚𝘢𝘣𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘢, Could I get a chai tea latte please?"

"Of course," she says smiling at him, clearly charmed by him already. Josh always had that affect on people. "And how about you guys?"

"Matcha latte" "Matcha latte, please" Sam and I say at nearly the same time. We look at each other, both of our muscles tensing, making a cloud of tension overcome the quiet little corner of the shop. we stay like this until he clears his throat, "actually just a coffee. Black" he says as he fixes his gaze onto his interlaced hands resting on the table. Sabrina nods, clearly confused. She smiles and says "yeah I'll be right back with those" Josh sends her an apologetic look which she smiles at and walks away to the counter.

Josh chooses to ignore what just happened, turning to me and starting up a conversation. Every so often I would catch myself looking at Sam from the corner of my eye, finding him in the same position as before. I think about why he decided to change his order. he was probably just being childish, not wanting to have anything in common with me. I laughed internally at it, but a part of me was slightly hurt, and I didn't understand why.

Sabrina eventually came by with our drinks, and from the corner of my eye, I swore I saw Josh pass her a napkin, but when I gave him a confused look, he only offered a shrug and a smile.

When it was time to go, we cleaned up the table the best we could and made our way to our cars.

"See you in a bit kid" Josh says as he smiles at me with a wave

"See you" you return his smile and we all drive to school.

The morning classes went pretty normally as most do, apart from the lingering thoughts of this morning swirling in your head. Why did it upset me? Sam is just an asshole, i should expect these types of things from him. Whatever.

Lunch finally rolls around as i sit at my table with my friends, well, acquaintances, making sure to keep an open seat for Josh like I promised. I finally see Josh roll in, about 10 minutes late (shocker) and he makes his way over to me. he reaches the table and smiles and sighs as he sits down.

"Who knew being an assistant could be so stressful?" He chuckles

"Well you know who our director is, shes crazy. shes going to drive you crazy too."

"Yeah.. I guess I shouldve known, Mrs. Vanderbilt is.... yeah"

"I bet you're doing great though. What are you doing for the play so far?"

"Well right now shes focused on making sure we have plans for the set, doesnt want to make the same mistake as last year"

Josh laughs as he refers to last year's play, where in the middle of the most heart wrenching scene, a wall fell down, making everyone break character and it was a mess.

I laugh and nod and I continue listening to him tall about his new duties. As he finishes up, he adds a comment that makes me jaw clench.

"So have you thought at all about your audition?"

"Not really.. Ive never really done plays before, well aside from little kid ones. But never ones like this. I don't even know what I should prepare, what I should wear.. " i feel my mind start to spiral, but Josh quickly puts a stop to it.

"Well consider yourself lucky, you have a man on the inside who knows exactly what she's looking for" Josh says as he smiles widely at me, "besides I can always bribe her too, she's weirdly obsessed with subway" Josh says with a wink.

I smile and try to listen to his advice. Maybe I really could get the lead. And maybe this would just be the beginning. The push I need to finally put myself out there. Maybe.

JOSH POV

After helping y/n with her audition, I finish up the rest of my assistant duties and head home for the day. I see jake sitting on the couch as I walk in the front door.

"Hey Jake, finally home I see"

He rolls his eyes at me and smiles "Valerie wanted to hang out longer, I couldn't say no"

I sigh and laugh "yeah I get that, but next time, get your car fixed and don't take Sam's. I had to take him to get coffee with me and y/n this morning."

"Oh man, how was that?"

"Wasnt as bad as I thought it was going to be actually. Who knows, maybe they'll finally get along soon"

"We can only hope" Jake says with a laugh. I nod and laugh as well before heading upstairs to my room

The rest of my afternoon is filled with editing some lyrics to show to the boys later. This song has been in the making for many, many years, y/n being the muse. I wrote this so when we eventually have to leave each other to go to college, or in my case travel the world, hopefully, she can always come back to it and it would remind her she's never alone, no matter how it may seem. This song also helps remind me that home is where ever the people you love are, and I hope she interperates it the same.

as I'm finishing up, I hear the front door open. 3:13.

I hear shuffling up the stairs and I open my door to investigate. I see sam basically dragging himself up the stairs. He notices my presence and looks up at me. On his face I see a purple tinted bruise protruding around his eye. He looks pissed.

"Hey what's up, you look like hell"

"Dont fucking talk to me right now."

I stop him with my arm before he has a chance to walk by me

"Hey, im here for you, you know that right? Talk to me. What's going on?"

He sighs, accepting defeat, "I got in a fight."

"Yeah I gathered that" I laugh "why? What happened?"

"Just some kid I had to put in his place"

"Okay, did they call mom"

"Yeah, she said they made an arrangement so I wouldnt get suspended or something like that. I dont know. She said she was gonna call me tonight and let me know what they thought"

"Okay, that's good. It doesn't sound like it'll be too bad" I sigh with relief and put my hand on his shoulder, "if I can help you out with it, I will okay?"

He looks at me and offers me a small smile, "Yeah, thanks josh"

"No worries, little brother" I say as I ruffle his hair. He laughs a little before pushing me away softly and going to his room and shutting the door.

I continue on with writing before I see the time and decide I should make some food.

I go down stairs and start on my signature dish, chicken alfredo. As im draining my noodles, I see my phone light up, its y/n

𝐲/𝐧 ☀

𝐡𝐞𝐲, 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧?

𝐉𝐨𝐬𝐡

𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐡 𝐈 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐢𝐭.

I exit messages and google Romeo and Juliet. I scroll for a bit before finding the perfect one. Mrs. Vanderbilt's favourite scene.

𝐋𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝟒 𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐞 𝟑. 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝. 𝐌𝐫𝐬. 𝐕 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨 😉

𝐲/𝐧 ☀

𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐣𝐨𝐬𝐡 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐮

𝐉𝐨𝐬𝐡

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐤𝐢𝐝

I smile as I shut my phone off and finish up my dinner. I yell at everyone in the house that its ready, and my twin and sister come barreling down the stairs.

Jake is the first to say anything "hey thanks, 𝘮𝘰𝘮"

"Yeah whatever asshole, you wouldn't be eating this good if I wasn't here so shut up and grab a plate" I laugh at Jake and see Ronnie comming up to me

"Thanks J, im starving"

"Yeah of course, wheres Sam?"

"He should be comming? Im sure he heard you, how could he not, you probably scared the whole neighborhood" she says as I lightly shove her head away on my way upstairs.

I reach Sam's door and lightly knock, "hey dude I made dinner, you hungry?"

"Hey no, but could you come in here for a minute"

I walk in to see Sam sitting at his desk with his head in his hands

"Hey what's up? Are you okay?"

He sighs before looking at me "mom called."

"Yeah? What, is it bad? Theyre not sending you to boarding school are they?" I laugh, trying to cheer him up

"No, worse."

"Tell me already Sam, what?"

"Theyre making me do the fucking play."

My jaw drops as I fight a smile from creeping onto my face

"Oh. Well, i mean that's definitely not the worse thing that could happen. Why are they having you do that though? That doesn't seem like a punishment"

"Well yeah to you it wouldn't."

"That's fair. What are they having you do? Stage crew or something?"

"No. I have to be fucking Romeo. This is all your fault. She said that no other guys fit the role and they thought since im your brother I 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 be as 𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘻𝘪𝘯𝘨 as you. Do you have any idea how embarrassing this is? My friends will have a fucking field day with this."

"Sam it'll be okay, Ill help you out, im helping y/n too. Maybe you guys could work together?" I regret the words as soon as they come out of my mouth. That'll just make this worse right now. My thoughts are proven to be correct as he speaks again "just get out. I need to sleep or something"

"Okay, are you sure you dont want any good? Its alfredo."

"I said no, just get the fuck out dude okay?"

I sigh and nod as I walk out and shut the door behind me. I walk downstairs and give a look at Jake, who immediately understands to not say anything to me right now. He strikes up a conversation with Ronnie to get the attention off me as I take my plate and head up to my room. I eat and think about my interaction with Sam. This can't be that bad, hes just being dramatic. Who knows? He might end up enjoying it or getting something out of it. Same with y/n. I know they both can really benefit from this. I just have to show them.

My thoughts are interrupted by my phone lighting up, I smile as soon as I see the notification.

☕️

𝐇𝐢, 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐣𝐨𝐬𝐡?

A WEEK LATER

AUDITION DAY

Y/N POV

Ive been dreading this all day. What if im not good enough? What if all this staying up late, memorizing a huge monologue was all for nothing? No. Josh said it would be fine. It'll all work out. I step into the auditorium, immediately searching for josh, who I see on stage giving pointers to some helpless freshman who looks absolutely petrified. That's gonna be what I look like up there. I make my way down to the seats, taking an aisle one about 5 rows away from the stage. There's a good amount of people in the room, some doing vocal warmups, some doing last minute read throughs just to make sure they have everything memorized. Every one except one person. a boy, slumped into his chair, hood up, sitting on his phone. I studied him for a minute, wondering who it was before my curiosity was satisfied. The boy sits up in his seat, looking around the room to see everyone who showed up, before his eyes stopped on me. I see Sam in an auditorium. No, that can't be right, I do a double take before realizing that it is, in fact, Sam.

He notices my double take before smugly smiling at me and returning to his phone. I roll my eyes and revert my focus back to Josh, he sees me and basically jumps off the stage and runs to me

"Hey kid, are you excited?" He says with the biggest smile

"Trying to be" I say, forcing a smile which he notices

"Hey, it'll be great. I know how much you practiced and Mrs. V would be an idiot to not cast you. Maybe don't tell her I said that.. I don't want to end up dead by tomorrow." He laughs and hugs me "I have to go but I'll see you up there! Remember, you can do anything you set your mind to" he says with a wink

I smile back and repeat his advice over and over in my head. I can do this. Josh will be here and even if I don't get cast, I can say I tried. More than I could've said 5 years ago.

As the time grows closer for my audition, I feel my hands get sweaty and my breathing increasing. Why is this so hard? It's just reciting a paragraph and moving my arms as I speak. It shouldn't be this nerve wracking. My mind continues to spin and I barely notice the presence stepping up behind me

"Y'know I can hear you breathing from across the room right?"

I turn around to see Sam, once again

"Well sorry if my breathing annoys you sam. Not my fault I need to to live."

He rolls his eyes "your just being dramatic about this. It'll be fine."

"Shut up I didn't ask you for advice. What are you even doing here"

He starts to speak before he is interrupted by my name being shouted across the room. I turn around to see Josh and Mrs V waving me over. It's time. I take a deep breath and wipe my hands on the front of my jeans before making my way onto the stage. I am immediately blinded by the big lights, making this experience feel more real and terrifying.

"Whenever youre ready y/n" Mrs V says with a smile. I look over to josh, sitting next to her, for one final boost of confidence. He smiles at me and blows me a kiss. I smile and take one more breath before starting

"God knows when we shall meet again. I have a faint cold fear thrills through my veins, That almost freezes up the heat of life.... "

I go through the motions of what I imagine Juliet to look like, giving looks of desperation, throwing my hands up in defeat, stumbling to my knees. I start to get a little emotional as I finish up my last line

"Romeo! I come! This do I drink to thee"

I bow my head, signifying her death, as I wait to be excused from the stage. Instead I am met with silence. I dare to look up and see Josh, his jaw slightly dropped, and Mrs. V with tears in her eyes.

"My stars, Y/n. Who is this new person? That was absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much dear." She says, smiling wide.

I blink in disbelief. I did it. And they seemed to like it. I sigh with content and make my way to the seats. I trip over my own feet coming down the stairs and try to protect my head from the impact of the floor. But to my surprise, it never comes. Instead, I am met with the feeling of something holding me up, maybe my guardian angel, probably Josh. I open my eyes to see Sam looking down at me, his face softened. I look back at him and blush a little bit before straightening myself back up and looking to the floor before my attention is drawn back to the front row, where Mrs V and Josh are sat. I hear her say "So you've met our Romeo I see". My head whips to Sam, who has a sour expression on his face, obviously not happy about it either. I chuckle involuntarily, and it only grows as he gives me a dirty look, rolling his eyes.

"Wow... Acting? I could never imagine you doing that"

"Yeah well I couldn't imagine me doing it either, but here we are. Actually, I could never imagine you doing this either. Thought for sure you'd choke up there and go running back into the arms of your precious little Josh. Oh well, it's not too late. Maybe it'll happen on opening night" he says with a fake smile, obviously trying to upset me. I glare at him, trying to speak, but nothing is comming out. "What's wrong? Nothing to say?"

I sigh with frustration and start, "listen, asshole. Unlike you, I actually tried to get a role instead of just sitting back and it falling into my lap."

"Yeah well this wasn't my first choice, believe me."

"Oh of course. Sam Kiszka always has more important things going on. Thank you so much for gracing us with your presence. Y'know I feel bad for whoever Juliet will be, they'll have to put up with you all the time"

He glares at me before leaning towards me, making me walk back and hit my back on the ledge of the stage, "Oh yeah? Luckily for both of us, you'll never be Juliet."

That stung a little. But it's Sam, he has no idea what he's talking about

"Fuck off"

I say as I storm past him, shedding off the burden of our conversation in my trail. I decide to just head home. I'll see Josh in the morning and we can talk about everything then

Right now I need a break.

SAM POV

I don't know why I'm forced to sit in this godforsaken auditorium watching all these girls audition for a part they're most likely never going to get, except for the 𝘭𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘺 girl who does. She'll get so excited over something so miniscule as a couple lines in a mediocre high school production of a Shakespeare play.

They're all so desperate.

I think back to my conversation, well, argument, with Y/n. I don't know how Josh ever got her to do this. Her audition wasn't even that good, yet Josh and Mrs V seemed to be eating it up. I mean, sure, she spoke clearly... and slowly... beautifully- I shake my head before my thoughts go too far. Its only beautiful because Shakespeare is beautiful, Not a compliment to y/n. She probably won't even get the part anyway, so this was just a waste of time for her. She's lucky not to be given a part. This is going to be torture.

Hours and hours of rehearsals, my friends inevitably calling me names in the hallway, trying to create chemistry with whoever my love interest is..

This is my own personal hell

And it could've all been so easily avoided.

That fight was ridiculous. Why did I care so much what he said? It's not like it's anything I haven't said before. My mind starts re-enacting the scene in my head,

"𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘩 𝘥𝘶𝘥𝘦, 𝘺/𝘯'𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘦, 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘦𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘑𝘰𝘴𝘩 𝘬𝘪𝘥. 𝘞𝘦𝘪𝘳𝘥. 𝘋𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨? 𝘗𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘤."

𝘔𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘱𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘺/𝘯'𝘴 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦. 𝘐 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘺𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘐 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘢 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵, 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦. 𝘉𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘵, 𝘐'𝘮 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦, 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥. 𝘞𝘦 𝘨𝘰 𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘸 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘐'𝘮 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘢𝘭, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘤𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘳.

I bring my mind back to reality and shake my head. It's all 𝘩𝘦𝘳 fault. Why does she constantly plague me and my thoughts even though I resent her?

Still,

Why do I care about her?

Taglist! (Idk if I'm doing this right)

@fleetingjake

#greta van fleet #sam kiszka #sam kiszka smut #josh kiszka #sam kiszka fic #jake kiszka #sam kiszka fanfiction

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filipinosamflynn · 4 months

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It took me a few months, but I finally finished Iron Gold! Let me burn the kitchen down as I cook!

Note: I'm not the American education system, so I consider a 6/10 a good score. 6/10 to me means it's good but I don't think I want to read it again until years in the future.

Total Score: 8/10 - hard to read at the beginning, but phenomenonal second half. The multiple perspectives are fun, but kind of jarring to get into, some of the perspective shifts can get enfuriating by creating cliff hangers. That's obviously the intention, but come on, nobody's favorite part about a show are its cliffhangers.

Below is my tier list of all the characters:

Spoilers, unstructured thoughts, word vomit, and objectively incorrect opinions ahead. This review is based on my experience reading the book, the quality of it is obviously amazing.

Characters: 9.5/10 - Everybody is still amazing, and almost all of the new characters are so fun and well characterized! I would have given this 10/10 if not for Harmony not showing up at all in this book. I think the last time she was physically present is in Golden Son, then she is mentioned to have started the Red Hand in Morning Star but she does not show up, then when the Red Hand DOES show up in Iron Gold, she somehow still isn't there. HUH???? WASN'T THAT LYRIA'S WHOLE THING BEFORE THE TELEMANUS ADVENTURES AND THE FUNNY KIDNAPPING???? But ignoring that red bitch (and dano too, fuck that guy), Lyria is a surprising stand out to me, I love her so much and that's what surprises me. Literally all she does is be a victim, and honestly I'm here for it. It's so easy to root for an underdog character, and that's the reason why I wanted to read Red Rising in the first place, to watch an underdog character fight through their circumstances. Also, FUCKING HELL WHY DOES HER STORY END LIKE THAT???? SHE'S FUCKING INNOCENT GIVE MY GIRL A FUCKING BREAK 😭😭😭😭

Ephraim took like 70% of the book for me to like, but once the perspectives crossed over, we saw more development from him outside of his drug addiction, and him being ✨️GAY✨️ without it being the sole focus of his story being extremely awesome. Gay media doesn't get me, sometimes I just wanna see a dude who happens to be gay fuck shit up. He just needed to be more than just "the gruff mercenary", and him struggling to kill Lyria made me finally like him. I do wish we had moments of him being likable earlier, I mean I get we needed to establish him being grumpy, but I really wish we had scenes of Ephraim and Volga being friends earlier in the book. I was expecting them to be this fuck ass father daughter duo when I first started reading, but I guess not. I do love their bond a lot though, and him going through hell and back for Pax & Electra was everything I needed out of this character. Also as a side tangent, the Cyra being a spy plot just happens then goes nowhere? I mean, HUH????? I was so confused, I looked her up online, and nobody talks about Cyra. She just... exists to die and be a useless plot reveal? Unless I'm missing something, she feels like one of the most useless deaths in the series. Oh well, back to Ephraim. Yeah, I liked him a whole lot more after I realized he's into Japanese army men and footjobs.

Here's an obvious one: Darrow becomes slightly unlikable! Yeah, I didn't expect it, I still love him, but sometimes while reading this dude do war shit and ignore his wife makes me want to football kick him into a therapy chair. And then he teams up with Apollonius and, it's so fucking obvious him and Tharsus are gonna betray Darrow and curb stomp his ass. Darrow, you bitch ass motherfucker, just be with your god damn son you son of a bitch. 💀 His ending though, man you can really FEEL his absolute despair. It's not an exciting despair like at the ending of Golden Son, it's a slow, harsh, burning one you have to sit with. "It was all useless" is SUCH an awesome trope, I simply adore it. Poor Sevro.

Now onto our pathetic bitch boy of the hour: Lysander. I've known about his reputation amongst fans since I started the series, and I've been so excited to see this little shit fuck shit up and...! He's so pathetic. I'm a little disappointed by how pathetic he is compared to my expectations of him being this evil little shit. However, he turned out to be my favorite perspective. Just watching this little man who I know becomes horrible just grovel in himself, slowly rising to power, then avoiding almost every single action of good he can take is awesome. My enjoyment is also added by all of the Raas being so fun, especially Dido. This bitch... serve cunt and be evil is her motto and I love it 💅✨️

Perspectives Ranked: Lysander is my favorite perspective, him rising to power in the Rim from nothing is just satisfying, and excites me for what hell is to come in Dark Ages. I love a good villain.

Lyria is my second favorite, I just love underdogs, what can I say?

Third favorite is Ephraim. I didn't like him nor get what his deal was at the first half. I didn't know where his story would go, and I didn't give a shit about whatever the Duke of Hands wanted. Only when we got development did he become a very fun character.

Fourth favorite is Darrow. His perspective isn't bad, but it was just kind of disheartening to see my boy do all this shit and accidentally make the wrong decisions. Of course, his perspective is far from bad, it was just hard to root for him.

Personal Enjoyment: 7/10 - This was a hard book to get through in the beginning. They have to re-establish the world and you're forced to try and get through 4 different characters' perspectives. Establishing the new world, the characters, and their reason for being important is rather slow for a series with such a breakneck pace, so it was annoying to get through to be honest. Not to mention that the perspective shifts can be rough or annoying in that "TV Show cliffhanger" style. Another personal thing, because of all the re-establishing and the perspective shifting, I forgot a lot of plot points and motivations. I didn't know why Ephraim was speaking with the Duke of Hands nor what his purpose or deal was for quite a while, like I didn't know what Holiday had to do with Ephraim until the 2nd half when they said Trigg was Ephraim's fiance. I didn't even know Ephraim was going to steal until he kidnapped Pax & Electra. The story is great, but this is the first time I've read a book with multiple story lines in different perspectives, and added onto the complex web of connections and all sorts of other story bullshit, it's easy to see why I got lost and had to drop the book for a few months. However once I finally got used to everything in the 2nd half, it was an EXTREMELY fun read that made up for the hard to understand and read through first half. This is feels like a book I only appreciate on the prospect of a re-read where I know what happens since the blind read was, uh, annoying.

Plot: 8/10 - As I said, the beginning was kind of annoying to get through and I can't for the life of me remember anything that happened to Ephraim at the start, and 25% of Darrow's & Lysander's plotline. It's just a me thing. The story as a whole is extremely fun, all the twists and events are a blast to read (except for Ephraim's moping at the start of the book, if he even moped because as I said before, I can't remember shit about Ephraim from part 1 except that he has a fancy gun and the Duke of Hands wanted to cut off his hand if he didn't do the thing). Lyria's story was the most engaging for me from start to finish, so that's a plus. Really, my opinion on this book is kind of being carried by the 2nd half, which sucks because this is still a really great book! I just had a hard time following it. But the plot was great, and (obviously) the action scenes are a highlight. The Cassius kills a bunch of dudes and says his honor remains scene is badass as all hell, Lyria's desperate escape from the Red Hand + its aftermath is so visceral and everything I love about the series, Ephraim saving the kids is the best scene in the book in my opinion, and the realization of "it was all for nothing" upon the Ash Lord's reveal was just UGH 😭 I LOVE THAT SHIT!

My Expectations Heading Into Dark Ages:

• Cassius isn't dead, it's too obvious. Not only did we pull that shit off with Dancer and Uncle Narol, but we didn't see a body, and his death just felt weirdly unsatisfying for a series like Red Rising. Cassius didn't even get to talk to Pytha or his frot buddy Darrow once, so yeah, not dead.

• Victra is going to be this fuck ass antihero doing the wrong things for the right reason of finding her daughter. I can feel her getting a character arc in Dark Ages.

• Mustang's perspective is coming up in Dark Ages and OOOOOHHHHHHH IM SO FUCKING EXCITED TO READ THROUGH THEM, Mustang has remained strong of my favorite character in the series. Sevro is a very close 2nd favorite, but Mustang is the Beyonce of Red Rising.

• I know Darrow gets absolutely FUCKED in Dark Ages. Good. Let me whump.

• I have no clue what will happen with Lyria & Ephraim, but hopefully they don't die! I think Lyria doesn't get a perspective in Dark Ages so *i am scared*.

• Lysander will be so fucking fun to read through now that he's no longer just a pathetic hacky sack getting kicked around. I wanna finally despise and hate this little shit for fun, he looks like he's gonna have the same fuck ass stage presence as the Jackal. Just a feeling on the vibes Lysander will hold.

• I know Dark Ages will destroy me, so I already have Lightbringer ready as my detox, and a box of tissues bought for when I start.

• Harmony BETTER show up. She has literally done nothing since Golden Son (yeah she technically started Red Hand in Morning Star but RH literally did nothing there, and Harmony herself hasn't shown up for 2 straight books).

#sam flynn reads red rising #red rising #iron gold #review #tier list #book review

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singeart · 22 days

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11, 18, and 20 plz!!!!!!! :3

11. How long, on average, do you spend on one piece of artwork?

This took me a few hours, maybe 2-3?

More complex pieces like this one always take at least 10 to line and render and that doesn't count the sketch phase which can involve many do-overs and which I haven't kept track of before because it would make me sad lol 🥲

18. How many WIPs do you currently have?

I'm actively working on:

7 drawings

2 fics

💀

20. Any advice for artists working through burnout or an art block?

When I'm feeling uninspired after finishing a big piece I've found it helps to just watch a couple of movies completely unrelated to the shows I make fanart for. Usually afterwards I feel refreshed and ready to get back into things so my advice would be to engage in media outside your usual genre (or medium), then rinse and repeat until something sparks inspiration 👏

Thank you!! ❤️

#would love to get faster bc i have one (1) million ideas i want to draw but #idk what im doing 😂#ask #the amount of times ive been like its so over ill never draw again and then i watch some random movie from the 50s and the next day #im like i want to draw so bad #ig half the battle of art making is Thinking About The Thing so its mentally taxing??#also when i dont feel like drawing sometimes- ill write- then i get sick of writing and want to draw so do a diff craft for a while? idk 😂

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binarybitex · 6 months

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monday, 04/08/2024

below the cut: updates on Heart Hollow, a snippet from today's writing, as well as a little peek into my busy body kind of day :-)

genuinely such a productive day. I slept for like 14 hours, had some wacky dreams, and woke up feeling completely revitalized !!

I wanted to get some writing done this morning but ahhh kinda stressed out. this week I have a lot of responsibilities to tend to. so I decided to just get a bunch of chores done and brainstorm out loud to myself as I tidied up. and wow what a motivation tactic! I have so much fun just spit balling while doing mindless tasks like cleaning that I just... kept cleaning!

I went to the grocery store too, and made chocolate chip cookies for me and my partner. took a shower to wash off all the cleaning chemicals I felt lingering on my skin. yucky. thinking about it, all I had to eat today was a coke zero and a chocolate chip cookies. no wonder my stomach hurts lmao

I wrote down some of the ideas I've had over the weekend. I'm reworking the structures of books 2 and 3. it's hard not to get too ahead of myself... I still have a first book to finish!! ahhh.... I just think book 2 is going to be a lot of fun to write. I just love writing romance so much.

around sundown I decided to actually sit down and open up Heart Hollow. the past week or so I've been aching to rework what I have for chapter 10. like I've been saying, this chapter has been killing me for months. I think I finally got it down though.... I really needed to consider what lewis was feeling after certain events in the upcoming chapter Boss Babysitter. (so hard to talk about it without spoiling !!)

i wrote until a quarter till midnight and now I'm finally laying down in bed ..... had to force myself bc my document was starting to look like a jumbled mess to my tired eyes lmao... oh and I guess bc I have time sensitive responsibilities tomorrow too.... whatever tho 🙄 lol

and, from today's writing burst, a little snippet. the only snippet I could share that doesn't flat out spoil anything aaagghh.......

eeeeek I can't wait for boss babysitters release. I know I keep saying that I JUST want to be prepared before I send it out into the world. id like to have more writing on deck so I don't leave y'all hanging on ANOTHER cliff hanger for months ...... sorry about that btw. I know the mirror break is a fat fucking ball to drop and leave off on..... lmao 💀

#when will i get to be a stay at home boywife that writes novels in between tending to the house. WHEN.#its unfair that i have to make money. bc i raise you: i HAVE to write heart hollow!!!#i had a moment today where i was reading my work and i was like.... bro wtf i wrote this??#it was like an out of body experience but for my own writing.#writing hh just comes so naturally to me. like the story lives up in my brain and im just the vessel its chosen to get it out into the world #its crazy for me to say that but its honest to god the truth. yes i labor over it but its purely out of love and admiration #ok i guess its bed time... ooooh yippee i get to deliberate over hh before i go to bed!!#heart hollow #max speaks #writing update #wip update #novel update #indie project #indie novel #book update #indie books #oc #original characters #oc writing #original writing #tumblr writers #ocs #heart hollow update

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allowshe · 2 years

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OoOO 👻👹 It’s the devils hour || 3:00am || and I am praying to the angels 😇 to allow me to wake up in the morning with a new mind set , new outlook on life , and a new perspective on my life .

TWP 🛑⚠️

Hi , I’m Charliee . Long story long my background story starts when I was just 6 years old . One of my earliest memories was being in ballet 🩰 , and another girl my age with a Dora the explorer hair cut with red hair said in front of the entire class “ Look 👇🏼, Charliee stomach goes out like this |) <—— . I remember feeling so embarrassed , and ashamed of myself . At just 6 years old my self esteem plummeted . I would look in the mirror 🪞, and cry 😭 telling myself I was so ugly !

Fast forward 4 years I am 10 years old . That’s when my depression , and anxiety truly kicked in full force . At just 10 years old I was self harming . I hated myself . I hated the way I looked , I hated my personality , I hated my life . As the years went on it didn’t get much better . I joined high school to eventually drop out , and got my GED . Although my self harming came to an end I still was drowning in an ocean of depression . I joined cosmetology school ✂️ 💅 to finish all the hours that were required of me only to not take my state boards test , and never graduated , because I thought I was in love , and took the opportunity to move out of my parents home at the age of 18 to only find out I didn’t finish what was needed of me for a good career path to a emotionally, verbally , and sometimes physically abusive boyfriend who cheated on me repeatedly 😞 .

This relationship lasted 3 years until I said enough was enough . I packed my bags 💼, and moved in with my brother , his lady at the time , and their two children . It was the smallest town I ever lived in , and so meeting people felt nearly impossible so I introduced Tinder into my life.

As I’m scrolling through the app I see one specific person . He catches my eyes 👀 above the rest . I swipe right ➡️, and to my surprise we matched . We got to talking for months , but eventually stopped . One night my ex calls , and we get to talking . Mind you it has been months since I’ve seen this man . He apologizes for all the pain he caused me , and asked if I’d like to see each other again to which I agree . It was a weekend night he drives 30 minutes to pick me up , and take me back to the town he lived in to go see a movie . After the movie 🍿 we stop at a gas station ⛽️. We go in , and he decided he wanted to get a red box movie so I sit in the car and wait for him to decide . As I’m waiting I look inside to notice this guy checking out . I think he’s cute , whatever . But as I take a second glance I realize he is the guy from the Tinder profile I use to talk to before we lost communication. I wanted to make sure it really was him so I check to see if I still had his number , which I did so I gave it a call 📱 . As I’m calling I see that he is reaching for his phone out of his pocket , and I got scared and hung up ! I end up getting a text message saying “Hey was that you at the gas station?” To which I reply “ Yes 😂 “ He asked me how I knew the guy I was with (my ex) and he later explained that (my ex) was his brothers wife’s brother . LOL 💀 .

Well he ended up inviting my ex , and I over that night to hang out . Which to my surprise my ex was down to go so we do . As we are there I instantly just am so attracted to this new guy . My ex even told me later on in life that he saw the way I looked at new guy and he realized he had completely lost me . After that night I officially moved on from my ex boyfriend completely, and started hanging out with new guy 🔥.

When I started hanging out with new guy it didn’t take me long to fall head over heels with this man ❤️. He was everything I ever wanted . He treated me so much better than my ex . He gave me such a natural euphoria that I was straight up addicted to . We ended up living together , and I wanted to do everything for this person to ensure I was making him as happy as I could , but I eventually found out that was actually impossible 🚫 . I started to realize he had some issues , but it felt too late to back out of . I was SO in love . He was an alcoholic 🍺 , who had been cheated on and hurt in the past by his ex wife , and unfortunately I was just his rebound that lasted for almost 4 years 💔 . I completely lost myself in that relationship because he too cheated . Was emotionally abusive , and emotionally absent . This was the first person I truly fell in love with , and the first love that truly broke me the most . 💔💔💔

My depression was at an all time high . My self hatred was maxed out . I moved back in with my parents at the age of 22 , and was at my lowest of lows . At this point I was looking for a job , and my neighbor across the street offered me one , and told me to go to an interview the following week . As I’m waiting for that time to come my brother tells me he can get me a job with him at a bar 🥂 and grill 🍱 to which I replied no , because I had worked with him in the past , and it didn’t really pan out like I had thought it would 😂. Finally when the day arrives for my interview something inside of me told me not to go , and to take the job with my brother . I fought the idea , but gave in . I ended up getting hired , and on my second day my brother asked if I could pick up one of our co workers I’d never met before and take them to work since I was working and he wasn’t . He told me not to worry , because the co worker lived a few blocks down from where I was living , and it was less than a 1 min drive . I had no interest in having to pick a guy up to drive 40 mins to work , but I agreed . My brother shoots me his number , and I text my new co worker “ I’m on my way “ 🚘

As I roll up to my new co workers house I pray that he isn’t some weirdo that is going to make me feel so uncomfortable . I text him “I’m here” 🏠 and he walks out … 6’4 , pompadour hair cut , dark brown hair , dressed in black slacks , and a black dress shirt . 👀 wow I thought he was gorgeous, but I was so heartbroken 💔 from my ex that meeting him didn’t even make me nervous , and most certainly did not make me want to take any interest in him . As we are driving to work we get to chatting , and we both realize how our conversations would just flow . I felt so comfortable with him , and felt like I could completely be myself 😊. Ever since that day we would always hang out everyday at work , and after . We ended up becoming so close that we went from strangers to best friends very quickly . A year goes by of friendship, and he tells me he loves me ❤️ . I was so afraid of getting my heart broken for a third time . I was so afraid of getting cheated on . I was so afraid of ending up in another toxic relationship that I ended up trying to push him away . ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🔥❤️‍🩹

I’m telling you , I tried my hardest to push him away , but for some reason he kept coming back . He never gave up , and I eventually gave in❤️‍🩹❤️ . Fast forward to now ( 2 years later ) we have a beautiful 2 month old daughter 👶🏽 , and live together as a family . 3 years In total of knowing this man he is the first person who put in the work , who has never gave up on us , who fights for our relationship, and loves me right . Of course we have our problems from time to time , but he’s someone I can trust , love , and be my absolute self with . He has shown me it’s okay to love myself , and it’s okay to be myself 100% around him without feeling anything negative. He makes me feel good , beautiful , and accepted unlike any of my exes ever did from past . 🦋🦋🦋

As I look back at my life I feel as though all these events have led me to where I am now for a beautiful reason . All these events tore up my self esteem , self love , and self care , but I have realized that is my past . I am no longer that broken person . I can’t be . I love my life partner , and I love my daughter more than life itself , and it’s time to fully allow myself to love myself , and at least try to become my best version for both of them , but most importantly myself . ✨

I hope that one day as I travel this journey back to myself through self love , and self care I too can inspire my daughter , and others to want to do the same . I want to help my daughter , and others to allow themselves to have the confidence to be who they want to be , and love themselves for it . 🐛🦋

This is Allowshe . 🪴

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thoughtfulmagazinepaper · 3 years

Text

Unusual encounters Pt. 4

"our old friend, death."

Thanks to recent engagement, chapters will be getting much longer; Thank you guys! I appreciate the 11 likes LMAO 💀 but let's get to it.

Words: 3953

Summary: Hawk experiences a bump in the road for the cartel shipment.

Warnings: Fire, murder

We had arrived at the dress store, loading up dresses full of keys. I was one of the people counting the keys and dresses, along with Riz and Atlas. The entire place smelled dusty, not in a heroin way, but just.. nasty. I looked around to see the clouded air, full of dust.

"Hawk, focus." Bishop corrected, of course I zoned back in and began counting. I glanced over to see Atlas mocking Bishop, which made me smile a bit.

Once that was finished, we loaded up two trucks with dresses, 10 in each. I was one of the people in the back guarding the dresses, right alongside Angel and Atlas. We had AK-47's and grenades incase anything went south, along with our usual pistols stuffed in our waistband. It was so. Fucking. Hot. in that truck. I read along my reports, making sure I had all 10 keys I was assigned to.

"Hawk, Don't look so nervous." Atlas Insisted. "You look about ready to murder someone right now." I didn't respond, I just fixed my hair- which was in a braid wrapped into a bun- and glared at him. He scoffed in response.

"Yo Hawk- didn't your charter before this work with Galindo too?" Angel asked. I took a sip of my water and gave him a cautious glance.

"yeah, but I didn't go on runs very often. I was one of the talkers. I'd talk with Galindo- usually over the phone due to distance- and make sure to set up the days we shipped our stuff closer to the border."

"So.... Galindo knows who you are?" Angel asked, giving me a glance.

"Yeah... is that an issue?" I questioned. "I mean me and Galindo have only spoken in person once when I went to see family in Mexicali, Other than that he just had men in Yucatan deliver messages for him. I was like the inside guy, the brains- because I sure as hell didn't have any combat skills back then." I added, Angel making a faint "ohhh" sound and lighting a cigarette.

We had walkie talkies incase anything needed to be communicated quickly, and mine went off.

"Yo, its Coco, you've got a tail. Just get ready."

"Aight." Angel answered. "We got it."

He nodded towards me, I looked at Atlas, who gave me a "go ahead." look. I looked out the back window carefully. There were two cars, one tailing Coco's van and one tailing ours. They pulled guns out and stuck them out their windows,

"GET DOWN!" I yelled, pushing Angel's shoulders down because he was right behind me.

All I heard were gunshots. Me and Angel nodded at each other, I looked at Atlas.

"You good Hawk?" He asked. I nodded.

"Atlas I want you to open the door on your side when I say go. as soon as you open the door, I want you to step out in the open and go full auto. full fucking auto. got it?" there was an intensity in my voice that I didn't know existed. He nodded, and as soon as I heard a pause in their fire, I shouted.

"GO!"

we each opened one of the doors to the back of the van and began going full auto on these assholes. My ears were ringing, I was sweating, I could feel the gunpowder stinging my eyes and sticking to my skin. Angel was to my left, Atlas was to my right, I was right in the middle.

Boom.

A grenade exploded near the front of the vehicle, sending all of us flying. We fell onto the road, rolling due to the speed we were going at. Me and Angel groaned, I stayed in a daze for what felt like hours.

"Hawk! Angel! GET UP! HURRY!" I felt someone practically drag me to my feet.

"...Riz?" I asked. I rubbed my eyes, taking a look at myself.

"No, its Taza. Riz is helping Angel. Are you okay?"

suddenly everything felt real again, I brushed myself off and took a look at myself.

I had cuts all down my arms, along with burns from the road. I looked up, seeing our truck had gone up in flames.

"where's Atlas?" I asked, Taza looked around.

"I don't know son." he answered.

"Shit." I huffed, brushing myself off and looking towards Angel to see if he was okay. He was snapping out of it, and I looked towards a barn near where we crashed. I could see the ambushers running into the barn, dresses in hand. However, I also saw Atlas chasing after them. I took off running in that direction.

Quickly, the other guys noticed what I was doing; They ran with me. All I could hear was my own heartbeat and my shallow breathing, along with my aching body screaming at me to stop. But I persisted. I knew that if we lost this shipment, Galindo would kill one of our men. Or worse. So, we burst into the doors of the barn. They all started shooting at us. One of them threw a grenade, landing at my feet. Angel tackled me to safety before I could even comprehend what was happening. The ringing in my ears shook my soul. I crawled out of our space to see all of our guys running out of the barn.

What the fuck are you all doing? I wanted to yell, but my voice failed me.

The next things I saw were me being in a barn going up in flames. I stood up, still dazed and registering what to do. I couldn't think. I looked for Angel, but he was nowhere to be seen. I heard a door shut, my eyes snapped to that direction.

They had left one of their men with the dresses to die while they were safe from the flames in whatever place they had crawled into. I'm assuming an underground shelter or tunnel system. Y'know what they also left? The dresses.

The guy attacked me, and before I knew it, my arm was being shoved into a red-hot metal rod in the barn. I screamed bloody murder, staring at the blazing wood inches from my face. I elbowed him in the face, getting on top of him and beating him mercilessly. He hit his gun on the side of my face, causing me to lose my bearing for a moment.

"GET THE FUCK OFF OF HIM YOU ASSHOLE!" I heard a muffled yell. I saw two hands pry the guy off of me, those same two hands bringing me to my feet.

The enemy then lunged at Atlas, to which I tackled him. I kneed him in the stomach, got on top of him, wrestled his gun away from him and shot him 3 times in the head, chest and throat.

I knew we had to get out of there. My ears were still ringing, I had cuts and burns all over my body, and I was choking in the smoke. The only thought in my mind though, was "Grab the fucking dresses."

And I did just that. All 10 dresses were on my shoulders while I used one as a filter over my face. I grabbed the gun I had just used to kill a man and threw it at a window, smashing it.

Suddenly, one of the other ambushers climbed out of their safety compartment and tried to attack me. Atlas tackled him. I tried to help, but Atlas yelled "GO! GET THE DRESSES AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" and so, I did.

I climbed 3 crates to reach the window, threw the dresses as far as I could out of it, and fell out of the small window myself.

I tumbled to the ground, shaking as my weak, damaged arms tried to support me. I still had two dresses in my hands. I adjusted into a kneeling position and threw the dresses with the keys in them towards the rest of the guys. I picked myself up, getting on my feet before lifting my hands off the ground; I stumbled, nearly falling forward trying to keep my balance at first.

I caught myself, barely standing as everything went hazy.

My eyes landed on Bishop, and as my vision focused, he was crying.

My eyes landed on Angel, he had a look on his face I couldn't quite place. Sadness? Relief? Not sure.

I blew a section of tangled, frizzy hair out of my face. My entire body was covered in patches of soot. My body burned and stung. My throat was on fire. I stared for what felt like ages. Then, I started walking towards them. I got about 5 steps in when my body gave out. I stumbled towards them; Angel immediately ran towards me.

I looked at EZ. "go, please save him- Atlas is in there." My vision blurred, I got dizzy, and everything went black. The last thing I felt and heard was two strong arms breaking my fall and Angel yelling "FUCKING DO SOMETHING! GET HIM TO THE CLUBHOUSE!"

Then I blacked out.

When I woke up, I was stretched out on a Gurney. The first thing I heard was Taza saying something about how bad my cuts were. I sat there for a second, gathering my senses. Then the pain hit.

My whole body felt like I just went to war. My mouth was royally dry, my throat burned, so I gasped. I immediately felt someone lay their hand on my chest. I squinted, it was Bishop.

"You awake son?" He asked, he immediately went teary eyed, but blinked them away.

"Yea-" I started violently coughing, gasping for air and Taza yelling at EZ to get me some water.

EZ was back in seconds. I drank the full bottle of water in about 30 seconds, Bishop watching me with worry.

"hey, kid." someone from my side spoke in a raspy tone. Atlas was next to me, stretched out on another Gurney. he looked worse than me, but he was alive. there were IVs in his arm, and Hank was sanitizing a burn on his leg. I waved, he threw up a peace sign. "glad you're okay." he said with a weak smile, I didn't respond, I just turned my head to the ceiling.

"You risked your life back there, Hawk. You've earned my respect. You stayed back despite everyone else leaving to save the dresses, to be honest, I thought you were dead as soon as I heard that god damn scream from inside the barn. Was that you or whoever you fought off?" He asked, I could see the guys starting to file into the room me and Atlas were in.

"It was me, just because he did this." I lifted up my right arm, showing him the singed on my upper arm.

He mumbled "ouch, and I tried to laugh but it hurt too bad.

So, what's the damage? I asked, his face painted with stress.

"Nothing broken, you're really lucky for that because of how you flew out of the van. But, you have a lot of burns and cuts on your body; The worst one is on your thigh and on your face, plus that burn on your arm." He clarified.

"and Atlas?" I asked, rolling my eyes. He laughed a bit.

"just about as bad as you. he has a few more burns on his legs, but EZ got him out quickly as soon as you said he was in the barn.

"Yeah. EZ's got a crush on meeeee..." Atlas coughed out, a bit out of it from pain meds. Bishop payed no mind to him.

"We have you hooked up to an IV to make sure you're not in too much pai-"

"Well I'm still in a lot of pain. Got some edibles?"

The room erupted with laughter, but I learned my lesson from the first time. Angel gave me a cookie from his back pocket and winked at me. I winked back, eating it in about two bites.

"Suddenly, everything's better." I remarked, hissing in pain from Taza stitching up a cut on my stomach. Then, I really noticed how patched up I was. There's definitely gonna be a lot more scars on my body after these heal.

I noticed someone fixed my hairstyle- it was ruined by the time I got out of the barn, but it was a little better than before.

"who...?" I asked, pointing at my hair with my good arm.

"Angel, he insisted to do it once Atlas said you'd be mad it was messed up once you woke up." Taza answered, I sighed in response. "hm? what's wrong?" Atlas looked at me. "I hate people touching my hair Atlas." I warned, he stuck his tongue out at me.

"Also, we identified who ambushed us. It was the Samoans again." I heard Angel confirm from behind me.

"War?" I questioned.

"War."

"You aren't gonna kill me for this going sour right?" I asked.

Bishop laughed. "Why the hell would I be angry with you if you saved our lives? Galindo would fucking crush us if we lost another shipment."

"Fair enough."

Eventually, I fell back asleep, letting Taza stitch me up. I was just glad to be alive. Sometimes I wonder how my life would be if I didn't become a Mayan, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

#angel reyes #mayans #m!mc #mayans headcannons #mayans imagine #mayans mc #sons of anarchy #angel reyes imagine #angel reyes fanfic

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