#This took like longer than it should have I'm disappointed in myself

[inky-evergreen]

Inside The Mind Of Anthony Williams Chapter 1 part 1

[s1m0nth3swag]

More milkman x reader smut but can you do chubby reader?? Please

Yes ofc!

As a chubby guy myself, none of my stories are ever written with a certain body type in mind, BUT obviously, I'm gonna write smth when requested so yeah!

Also I hope its okay that I brought body issues into this because I just think it fit the situation and the idea I had was just immediately "Francis would just be the absolute sweetest when making sure his partner loved themselves as much as he loves them".

Thanks so much for the request, anon!

WARNINGS/ CONTENT INFO; Smut, more soft, GN!Reader, Chubby Reader, Francis being just a tiny bit obsessed, established relationship, mentions of insecurity/ body image issues, Francis being a sweetheart and showing Reader that he loves them no matter what ♡♡

NSFW UNDER THE CUT!!

Nothing annoyed you more than the days when you would feel like you didn't look good. You stared at the mirror, looking at your body with slight disgust and disappointment. You felt like you were too big in all the wrong places, and you can't help but hate yourself for it. You should work out, eat less, all that. Instead, you threw on a wide hoodie - one that belonged to your boyfriend Francis, hid your legs with loose fitting pants, and snuggled up on the couch, determined to ignore the thoughts you were having.

Francis was at work, so you were alone, and honestly, that wasn't helping one bit. You knew he'd help you, he always said that he loved you no matter what, not for your body but your soul, or something like that, but right now you doubted his words a little.

Once Francis returned, he found you on the couch still. You were focused on some random show you had put on to distract yourself, but he noticed the way you hugged your body uncomfortably. "You okay, love?" He asked, walking over and sitting down on the couch beside you. You nodded solemnly but didn't look at him. He immediately knew what was going on. He sighed, wrapped his arms around you, and pulled you onto his lap, cradling you softly. He placed kisses on your cheeks and neck, murmuring softly. "You know I love you, baby.. you're the absolute most perfect being on the planet for me." He tells you, but your insecurities have long taken over. You cling to him desperately, and even though deep down you knew he wasn't lying, you didn't fully trust his words.

After a few minutes of sitting together, Francis telling you that he loved you and peppering your face with kisses, he softly picked you up and carried you to the bedroom - for a simple milkman, Francis was stronger than he looked.

He muttered something along the lines of showing you that he was being honest before pulling the hoodie off of you. You protested, tried to keep the fabric covering your body, but Francis wouldn't let you. He didn't even give you the chance to say something. Instead, he held your hands over your head and placed soft kisses all over your upper body. He paid special attention to the areas he knew you hated most, muttering praises in between each kiss. You were a flustered mess, and though the feelings about your body didn't magically disappear, they definitely weren't your main focus anymore. The way Francis' lips felt against your now feverish skin was almost heavenly, and you swore he was probably an angel sent to you by God just to help you through life. It would explain a lot, actually.

Your boyfriend took his sweet time with you. He didn't pull off your pants before he was 100% sure that you didn't think about your body type anymore. Soft kisses against your thighs, his hand ghosting over the hem of your underwear as you practically begged him to finally take them off. "Promise you aren't thinking lowly of yourself anymore?" He hummed, grinning against your skin. You whined, pouting. "I promise, jus'.. please..?" You muttered, feeling your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. "Wouldn't be able to deny you any longer anyway." Francis chuckles, sliding your underwear down slowly, making you squirm impatiently. You hated that he was still fully clothed, so you did your best to tug at his shirt, mumbling something about unfairness. "Always so needy.." Your boyfriend hummed, but he gave in to your request, his shirt hitting the ground, his pants following soon after. The only thing separating the two of you were now his boxers - and of course, Francis had to be a dick about taking them off.

"You're so stunning... Do you know that baby?" He purred. "Tell me you know that." His hands slid over your thighs, squeezing lightly as he patiently waits for you to repeat his words. You wanted to protest, but at the same time, you knew he wouldn't let you get off easily. "I know.." You mumble, looking away from him. "Ah-ah. Look at me. Be honest." Francis smiles, placing a kiss against your thigh. You grumbled, looked at him, and repeated your words a little more strongly. "There you go." He hummed in answer, leaning up to press a kiss against your lips.

Francis made a point of giving you praise after every thrust. He refused to go faster since he wanted to make sure you fully understood. It didn't seem to bother him that you almost cried while begging him to move faster. He just kept dragging his hips slowly, mumbling a praise with a shaky voice and pressing kisses onto your cheeks or lips. While sure, it was really sweet, you couldn't help but genuinely want him to be a little rougher. You knew this was soft torture for him as well, since you could feel him twitch inside you, eager to chase after release. Francis only gave in after he had made sure that you knew he really wasn't playing around. He loved you. He didn't want you to feel bad about yourself just because of the way your body looked. You were more than attractive to him, after all.

You whined when he finally thrust into you properly, clenching around him as you gripped onto his back harshly. Francis let out a soft groan, snuggling his face against your neck as he finally allowed both of you to reach the high you had been begging for - and he had denied himself just to make sure you were focused. He didn't even care when he came inside you, too lazy to pull out in time as he pressed wet kisses against your neck.

"Promise you believe me, sweetheart?" He hums, resting against you. "Promise. For now." You chuckled, slightly tired after all that. Francis sighs and pouts, looking at you sternly. "Do I need to start all over again?" He asks, smiling as you shake your head and kiss him. "Just cuddling will do." You mumble against his lips.

[screamin-abt-haikyuu]

"Excuse me, you dropped this," you call after the boy, your voice slightly echoing in the vast Sendai City Gymnasium.

He turns, scanning the bustling crowd before realising it was you who spoke. As your eyes lock with his, the noise of the gym fades into a dull hum.

Kawaii

His eyes widen, and a light pink dusts across his cheeks, a mixture of surprise and confusion evident on his face.

Shit, did I say that out loud??

You realise you have also been gaping at him.

"Uhh I- I mean this. You dropped this. It's really cute," you say, extending your hand with the teddy bear eye mask.

He looks down at the familiar object. "Oh. I didn't realise. Thank you so much. I'm sorry for the trouble," he says, bowing. Twice.

"It was no trouble at all," you smile at him, "My name is Y/N. L/N Y/N."

"Asahi. Azumane Asahi," he responds. His voice is gentle yet deep. You notice how his long brown hair, tied into a low bun, frames his face perfectly.

"I gotta say, you have good taste, Asahi. I've seen cute eye masks before but none this cute. And it's crocheted too! If you don't mind me asking, where did you get it from?"

He seems a little taken aback by your... question? The fact that you are talking to him? You don't know.

"I- actually- I made this myself," he admits.

"You did? Oh my god that's so cool! That makes this a hundred times better!"

A shy, embarrassed smile graces his lips. It makes you want to keep this conversation going for just a little longer.

"Th-thank you so much. It was just a hobby I took up during the summer," he says, hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck.

"Oi! Asahi! Don't stand around to chit chat. We need to war-," the black-haired boy's call from the end of the corridor is cut short by a smack on the head from a grey-haired teammate. They both seem to be wearing the same black jacket Asahi is. Another black haired boy next to them seems to be struggling to restrain two boys from running in your direction.

"Ah, I'm sorry. I didn't realise I was keeping you. You should get back to your teammates. I need to get back to my friend's match as well. It was really nice meeting you, Asahi." You're a little disappointed but you think you manage to hide it well with your smile.

"It- It was really nice meeting you too," he says.

Oh well, that's that, I guess. You start walking away, feeling a pang of regret.

"W-wait!"

You stop in surprise. You turn to face him and see he is reaching into his bag.

"I- I want you to have this," you can hear the crinkle of paper as he pulls something out, "Don't worry, it's new. I haven't used it."

Your eyes widen as you realize it is another crocheted eye mask. It is tucked carefully away in a paper bag but you can see the design on it. The little blue penguin is even cuter than the teddy bear.

"Oh no no, I couldn't possibly accept that!"

"I can absolutely understand if- if you don't want to accept something from a stranger like me. Or is it the design? Do you like the bear better? I could make another-"

"No. That's not it. This design is really, really cute. In fact I love penguins. And this is so, so sweet of you to offer. I just feel like it wouldn't be right. You must have spent so much time making this and to just give it away like this? Plus you brought it here so I'm assuming you intended to use it."

"No no, I had just put it in my bag long ago in case I or my teammates needed it. I made three of these so I have another. Please don't worry. It would make me very happy if you accepted," he bows, both arms holding out the eye mask.

"I- well, at least let me pay you for it!"

He shakes his head. "No, please. It's a gift. From me to you," he says, determined. It is your turn to feel the heat in your cheeks.

You take the eye mask from his hands, your fingers lightly brushing against his.

"Thank you, Asahi. This is so precious. I promise to keep it safe," you say, smiling from ear to ear as you inspect the adorable little creation, "and since you won't let me pay you for this, will you at least let me buy you a cup of coffee after your game as a thank you? Please?"

His eyes widen in surprise. "A-a coffee? With you? Are you sure?"

You nod, "Of course. I'm sure."

He is clearly flustered but you can see a smile forming on his lips. "I'd really like that," he finally says, his voice soft.

"Great! It's a date then," you say, grinning when his blush returns in full force at the word 'date'.

"Kawaii," you say out loud this time, a little more confident.

Steam might have started coming out of his ears had his teammates not called for him again at that very moment. He quickly gives you his number and says his goodbyes, promising to meet up with you as soon as he can. The shy smile seems permanently stuck on his face as he jogs back to his team.

You watch him go, the little blue penguin eye mask clutched in your hands, a warm feeling spreading through your chest.

Before he enters the stadium, Asahi glances back one more time and flashes you the biggest smile that makes your insides feel like goop. It is too soon to say but, somehow, your gut tells you that this might be the start of something special.

Inspired by this manga panel. || Kofi

[anm3mi]

BAD HABIT ─ NETEYAM ⊹ ִֶָ

contents. fem!reader, hidden injury, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, confession

notes. this is crap, but i wanted to post something for my birthday as a gift to myself, also i didn't mean to do lo'ak so dirty in this, i'm sorry💀

the scene below rapidly evolved, full of fire, explosions, gun fire and loud war cries. harshly biting the inside of your cheek, you silently wish you could help your people in the fight, but you couldn't. you were ordered to only observe, not engage, and as a warrior, you had no other choice than to obey commands.

as the grip on your ikran tightened, you let out a shallow breath, soon interrupted from your thoughts by the duo on your side. "bro," lo'ak called out, his eyes switching between neteyam and you. the trio that was rarely seen apart. a few years ago, thanks to your own reckless behaviour, you quickly became friends with lo'ak, and soon neteyam came into the picture.

when the two of you were younger, you would often sneak out with lo'ak, messing around and causing trouble. but as you matured, you came to the realization that was not the way a warrior should behave. you realized you had people to protect, and with that, you begun to work on your behaviour, becoming less careless and more thoughtful about your actions. deep down, you were still a free-spirited child, curious to discover everything there was to, but you had people to depend on you and you couldn't disappoint them.

with your new mindset, you got into arguements with lo'ak more and more, as you became more like his brother, neteyam. always obeying the rules, being the perfect little warrior. you would no longer sneak out and mess around every night, instead, you would spend most of your time training.

neteyam took a notice of the obvious change between lo'ak and his friend. after witnessing one of your fights, neteyam carefully approached you, as you were more than glad to have somebody to rant to about the younger sully brother. from that moment, it didn't take long for the two of you to grew closer. it started with simple conversations about lo'ak, because even though he'll forever have a special place in your heart, he knew how to get on both your and neteyam's nerves.

after spending more time together, lo'ak was no longer the main topic of your conversations. you would talk about you interests, ideas, neteyam's duty as an older brother and your goal of becoming a warrior. and even though you were working on acting more mature, sometimes you needed at least a bit of freedom and to feel like a kid again, which lead you to talking neteyam into sneaking out. after reminding you countless times of how that was not a good idea, he gave in. but instead of running around the forest, causing trouble like neteyam expected, the two of you sat down on a patch of grass underneath a big tree and talked about the future.

after that night, you couldn't help but feel bad, as sneaking out to the woods in the middle of the night was your and lo'ak's thing, but you made sure to make it up for him. soon, the trio became less irritable when together. because even with all the heated arguments and disagreements, there were moments where the three of you would forget your differences. you adored those rare memories the most.

"we have to get down there!" lo'ak demanded. "no!" "no way, dad would skin us!" you and neteyam shouted over one another with clear disapprove written on your faces, as lo'ak glanced between the two of you once again, holding back a small smirk. you recognized the expression little too well. "lo'ak--" but before you could even finish your sentence, the younger brother was already descending towards the ground. without wasting a single second, the grip on your ikran tightened and you followed lo'ak, ignoring the now distant calls of your name coming from neteyam. even though you've tried to change - there were still moments where you wouldn't think before acting.

abandoning your ikran, you desperately looked around, clutching your bow close to your chest, after loosing sight of lo'ak. a lump formed inside your throat, but before you could let the uneasy feeling sink in, you gulped down and took a deep breath, letting out a war cry. you managed to catch the attention of a nearby human, who wasted no time, before pointing his weapon at you

but you were quicker.

within seconds, an arrow landed in the middle of the soldier's chest, causing him to drop on the ground with a thud. your chest was filled with pride, as you took out another arrow, scanning your surroundings. the sudden shout of your name caused you to snap your head around towards the source, your face lighting up at the sight of lo'ak, who had a huge grin on his face as he held a rifle and neteyam, who appeared almost relieved at the sight of you. running up to them, you let out a long breath you were holding, quickly throwing your arms around the two boys' head and bringing them closer.

your three heads butted against each other's. "we have to get out of here, before we get in more trouble." neteyam loudly announced over your loud surroundings, glaring at lo'ak. "we are already in trouble." shrugging your shoulders, you begun to back away, taking out one more of your arrows, grinning at the two brothers. the three of you were already disobeying the commands, so why not help your people while you were at it?

neteyam quickly followed, grabbing you by your forearm to stop you, almost sending you crashing into his chest, as you looked up to meet his eyes. before either of you could say anything, an explosion went off. your body harshly colliding with the ground was the last thing you felt, before everything went blank.

it didn't take long before you regained your senses. the first thing you noticed was the intense ringing in your ears, as you placed your hands on the hard earth, grounding yourself. harshly blinking your blurry vision away, you lifted yourself up from the ground way too quickly, causing you to stumble forward a bit, yet you managed to stay on your feet. a sudden way of pain coming from you lower abdomen caused you to let out a groan, but you choose to ignore it.

instead, you glanced around in a search of your weapon. you managed to find neteyam first. unconscious neteyam. with wide eyes, you let out a quick gasp, before stumbling to where his body laid. you fell down to your knees, ignoring your own pain, as you desperately scanned neteyam's entire body for any serious injuries. you let out a long shaky breath, when you didn't find any fatal ones.

gently placing your head on top of his chest in relief, you muttered his name, earning a low groan in response. your head shot up, noticing neteyam's eyes fluttering open. "hey, you're okay. you're okay..." you lifted your hands off his chest, muttering assuring words more to yourself than neteyam. opening your mouth to speak, you placed neteyam's arm over your shoulders as carefully as possible, but was soon interrupted.

"neteyam! y/n!" at the harsh loud call of your names, you looked towards the source of the sound, noticing jake quickly making his way towards the two of you. shit, you mentally cursed to yourself. "what the hell are you two doing here?!" kneeling down, jake eyed neteyam just like you did barely a minute ago, before taking him off you and throwing him over his shoulders. "i'm sorry- i'm sorry..." neteyam begun to mutter under his breath, yet got no response.

you quickly followed, but the burning sting on your stomach caused you to stop dead in your tracks. for the first time since you woke up, you decided to take a look at your injury. a hiss escaped your lips, when you noticed a long gash along your abdomen. placing your hand over the bleeding injury, hiding it, you bit your lower lip, almost drawing blood.

catching up with jake and neteyam, you were hit with a sudden realization. "where's lo'ak?!" you cried out, worry lacing your tone. "he's already on his way back." announcing, jake got on his ikran, still holding neteyam. you were able to swallow the lump forming in your throat, but what you weren't able to simply shake off was the uneasy feeling building up inside your stomach.

the last few minutes felt like a blur. there was fire everywhere, followed by constant war cries and shouting. you gulped down, as the adrenaline slowly, yet surely died down.

you called out for your ikran, one of your hands still on your stomach, while following behind jake and neteyam. you had no idea what to worry about first - lo'ak, neteyam or the fact all three of you were in huge trouble with jake, the toruk makto himself. the person that has been giving you orders for the past years and the person that took you under his wing, helping to raise you, when your parents weren't available, which happened quite often as they were busy with their own duties. to you the sully's were like your family you deeply cared for.

jumping off your ikran with a grunt, you patted the side of your ikran's head, before turning your attention towards the commotion. you awkwardly made your way towards jake, who was already scolding lo'ak and neteyam, with neytiri, kiri and tuk standing near them, ignoring how light-headed you felt. "you're supposed to be spotters!" angrily pointing his finger at neteyam, jake explained as lo'ak joined his brother's side, both of their eyes stuck on the ground.

"jesus, i let you three geniuses join a mission and you disobey direct orders!" you now stood beside lo'ak, your eyes switching between the ground, the brothers beside you and jake. eyes meeting neteyam's, you furrowed your brows - silently asking him if he was alright. in response, he sent a small nod your way, as you did the same to assure him. biting your tongue so hard you could taste metal inside your mouth, you were barely paying attention to what jake was saying, as you tried to stop your heavy eyelids from falling down. the pain started to become unbearable, as your knees were shaking.

"ma jake, your son is really bleeding." neytiri gave her mate a look. "mother, it's nothing--" shaking his head from side to side, neteyam stuttered. as he averted his gaze from his father, you managed to catch his eyes. his brows furrowed in confusion at the notice of your strange state, but before he could question it, jake begun to talk again.

"and you y/n," jake held back a sigh. "i expected this from lo'ak, but you? i'm disappointed." his words echoed inside your mind, as you looked at jake through your eyelashes. "i'm sorry, sir. i--" your words were slurred and before you could even finished your sentence, your head spun and you harshly fell to the ground.

the last thing you heard before blacking out was neteyam's call of your name. as you fell to the ground, your hand fell to the side, exposing the still bleeding injury. at the sight, jake's eyes widened. "get her inside!" he ordered, and neteyam wasted no time before picking you up as gently as possible, carrying you inside the healing hut, where his brother was already being healed.

"what happened?" with a worried expression, lo'ak called out. "she's loosing blood, she needs help. immediately. " jake explained, not taking his eyes off the your unconscious form. you were placed on the floor, as mo'at begun to take care of your wound. "is she going to be okay?" glancing at his grandma, neteyam demanded, but got no answer.

"bro," placing a hand on his shoulder, lo'ak murmured. neteyam glanced over his shoulder at lo'ak's unreadable expression. shaking his head from side to side, neteyam swiftly pushed his brother's hand away, "this is your fault." neteyam pointed his finger at lo'ak's chest, before storming off. "neteyam!" kiri shouted after him, but her calls fell on deaf ears. quickly picking up a few supplies, she hurried after her brother. after all, he was still injured and needed to be taken care of.

"she's going to be alright, i feel it." kiri softly announced, after finding her brother. he wasn't far from the hut, already feeling guilty for leaving your side. "she's strong." kiri added. "she followed him. she followed lo'ak down to the battlefield." trying to swallow the guilt, neteyam looked up at his younger sister. he only felt more guilty after realising she was hiding her injury from them. from him. "you know y/n, she doesn't want us to worry about her. always putting others first." kiri sat down next to her brother, nudging his side, thinking about your bad habit of putting needs of others first. "she's amazing, isn't she?" a smirk made its way onto kiri's face. "yeah," letting out a long breath, neteyam simply agreed. "she is."

"now let me help you." pulling her supplies closer, kiri announced, earning a quick nod from neteyam, as he turned his back to her. a hiss escaped his lips, when kiri harshly pressed on his wound. "sorry." she muttered, but neteyam knew she didn't really mean it. it was his sister's way of calling him stupid for obeying direct orders from their father.

"the first thing she did when we arrived was asking me, if i was okay. me." neteyam sharply inhaled at the burning sensation, as kiri smeared a paste along his injuries. "you should talk to her. i'm pretty sure y/n has something to say as well." shrugging her shoulders, kiri announced. silence fell over the two siblings, as kiri continued to mend his wound and neteyam sat in silence, confusion smeared across his face upon hearing kiri's words.

the day was long gone, as the stars now occupied the night sky. the village was quiet, everyone peacefully asleep in their homes - everyone except for neteyam. after kiri took care of his own wounds, he made a straight beeline towards the healing tent, as he was met with your unconscious body, your injury now stitched up and covered.

slowly, he sat down next to you, his grandmother's presence going unnoticed by him, until she decided to speak; "she needs to rest for two weeks. the cut was quite deep." mo'at suddenly explained, almost startling neteyam. he looked at her with widened eyes, as she continued to grind herbs together, before glancing back at you. "she won't like hearing that." neteyam admitted, earning a simple hum from his grandmother in response.

mo'at exited the tent in silence, leaving neteyam and you alone. carefully, neteyam took your hand and placed it in his lap, as his thumb caressed over your bruised knuckles. he was rarely seen like this - uneasy, lost deep in his own thoughts and neteyam was aware of the affect you had on him. the way his stomach would flutter with butterflies at your simple touch or the way his heart would beat hard against his ribcage when you were in danger. as much as neteyam preferred to be in denial about it, he knew he was head over heels for you.

and with how deeply he cared for you, he couldn't help, but be a bit angry. not only at lo'ak, but you as well. if you wouldn't have followed his brother into the battlefield, you wouldn't be injured - you wouldn't have to hide your injury, which was another thing that upset him. letting out a long shaky breath, neteyam gently placed his head on your thigh - the only part of your body that was uninjured, and with your hand still in his, he soon fell asleep.

the eclipse was near and his parents grew worried. they knew where their son was, but most importantly, they knew no matter the amount of pursuing, he wouldn't leave your side - not until you woke and the two of you could finally talk.

his slumber was interrupted by a murmur of his name, as he let out a small groan in response. "neteyam, i can't feel my leg." this time, you spoke more clearly, startling the boy awake. with wide eyes, neteyam looked down at you, before glancing towards your leg, where he managed to fall asleep. "y/n! i'm sorry--" "it's fine, just next time please don't use my legs as your personal pillow." your voice was hoarse, laced with sleepiness. leaning onto your elbows, you attempted to sit up, but neteyam's hands gently pushed you back down at the sound of a painful hiss coming from you. "you're on a bed rest. two weeks." he announced, earning a scoff in response from you. "yeah, no." you muttered, before rubbing your tired eyes. your whole body was sore and in pain, yet all you yearned to do was get up and properly stretch.

"neteyam?" raising a brow, you glanced to your side at the boy, who was staring at you with an unreadable expression. "neteyam, what is--" you opened your mouth to speak, but was interrupted: "you didn't tell me." he suddenly declared. "what?" you attempted to sit up once again, and this time there was no pair of hands stopping you, as neteyam held his hands back. "when we came back yesterday, you didn't tell me. you didn't tell any of us." neteyam continued to explain, while you carefully studied your bandaged injury. his was voice low, yet stern - almost emotionless.

"you could've died, y/n." upon hearing the sudden crack in his voice, you froze. finally, you peeled your eyes away from your body and met his eyes. tears were threatening to spill, yet neteyam used all his remaining strength to not let them. "you need to stop following lo'ak, because then it ends up with one of you being injured and me having to clean up the mess." neteyam blurted out, yet soon regret his words at the sight of your hurt expression.

"is this what this is about?" you insisted, fury lacing your tone. "i am not one of your responsibilities, neteyam." the way you said his name with such venom caused his stomach to tighten. "i didn't ask you to cover for me, i can take care of myself. as you can see - i am alive, so i don't see why you're still here--" ignoring the burning pain across your body, you continued to rant, irritated by your sore body, headache and the guilt you felt.

"because i care about you!" silence fell over the hut, as you could only hear the echo of his words. with glossy eyes, you stared into his, before biting your tongue. "yesterday, when you fell unconscious, for a second i thought you were going to die and-" neteyam begun to explain, his eyes switching between yours and the floor. you slowly realized this was the first time you saw neteyam almost nervous during a conversation, unable to keep eye contact and stammering. that was the affect you had on him - you made him nervous, in a good way, of course. but you also made him scared. scared of loosing you.

"-and i didn't know what to do. i felt so guilty for not trying harder to stop you from following lo'ak and i still do." your expression softened, as you felt your heart tug. "neteyam..." you softly whispered, as you reached to hesitantly cup his face with your hand. "i'm sorry for worrying you, i truly am." your eyes did not once leave his, as honesty laced each of your words. neteyam's eyes stared into yours, before bringing his hands up and placing it above yours that still caressed his face - his skin burning upon your comforting touch. "i care about you, too, you know?" you added, voice barely above a whisper.

without a word, neteyam slowly nodded in response. "never scare me like that again, please." pressing his forehead against yours, he whispered. biting the inside of your cheek, you mentally braced yourself, as your heart beated harshly against your ribcage - threating to escape any second. closing your eyes, you quickly pecked neteyam's lips. "i won't." opening your eyes, you were met with the sight of neteyam's flustered and shocked expression at what you couldn't help, but grin.

"do it again..." he whispered, slightly leaning closer, his hand sneaking towards the back of your neck. "what was that? i couldn't quite hear you, nete." you teased, your thumb caressing his cheek. "kiss me again, please." with determined, yet soft eyes - neteyam repeated his words. you let out a small chuckle, before leaning in once again. this time - it wasn't a simple peck. your shared kiss was filled with comforting warmth, as your stomach went crazy with butterflies, just as neteyam's.

as you pulled away, neteyam unconsciously chased after your lips, causing a heartfelt chuckle to rise from your throat. your geninue moment was interrupted by a sudden painful hiss. with wide eyes, neteyam's hands left your body with the worry of hurting you, before searching your body for any source of pain. using the palm of your hand, you covered your wound carefully, the harsh movement of your body disturbing in.

"i'm okay." eyes shot closed, you let out a shaky breath through gritted teeth, assuring neteyam, yet he didn't seem convinced. "you have to rest." neteyam announced, brushing a strand of hair out of your face. in response, you rolled your eyes and let out a small groan. "i don't know if i can just lay here for two weeks." you admitted, before laying down. neteyam followed, resting on his side next to you. "well, you have no choice." with a small smile, neteyam explained, as you suppressed another eye roll.

"promise you'll visit me?" looking at him through your eyelashes, you asked. "of course i will." neteyam assured, causing you to let out a small, relived breath. silence fell over the hut - but it wasn't uneasy, rather comforting, as you carefully studied neteyam's features up close, before you felt your eyelids become heavy. even with your eyes closed, you could sense neteyam's eyes glued to you and you could feel your face burning underneath his stare.

"i really like you, nete. you know that, right?" you muttered through a yawn. "i know, y/n, i like you too." shyly, neteyam admitted, softly caressing the top of your head. the corners of your lips tugged into small, as neteyam's expression mirrored yours. using one of his arms to support his head, his other one was lightly placed over you - the two of you asleep within minutes. you knew the next couple of weeks are going to be rough, you still had to scold lo'ak and apologize to the sully's for scaring them, but now, you could only savor the moment with neteyam you were in.

[itskattkm]

Day & Night | Part II

Mabel (finestkind) x G!P reader

Warnings: violence, bruises, mentions of blood, junkies, bad translation :)

A/N: I think it’s even going to be more parts now :) hope you guys enjoy as always

Part 1, Part 3

I sighed and looked beside me to see that the space was empty "sure" I said disappointed and took a deep breath before I exhaled. My hands found their places on my face when I tried to cover it.

It was to good to be true. I should have know better... or maybe if I'm being honest with myself... I knew the truth. Why should Mabel even choose my place for "help" it was so obvious but i was totally blind.

I rubbed slight my eyes and looked to my open bedroom door. I felt suddenly so lost again. Somehow like I was at a wrong place at the wrong time. But mostly I felt unwanted.

So why did Mabel do what she did? Why out of sudden? And why did she leave? Well I could have a good answer to the last question but why did she even sleep with me then? I didn't understand.

I pulled the blanket over my shoulders and tried to get a clear head.

At some point around 11:00 in the morning I woke up again. This time I left my bed and took a long shower. After the shower, I turned on the TV so that I didn't have to drown in this silence in my apartment.

I ate some cereal and went to the bar around 1:00 p.m. to work. The day felt slow. Outside it was cold and slightly foggy. My shift was over in the evening. I decided to go to the pier like almost every day.

Now I entered the middle of the bridge and ran up the scaffolding "hi Maria" I said kindly to the slightly older lady who had her shift today.

"Hi y/n" come in... Today it's very fresh.

So I went into the cabin and sat down at the other end of the room. Like that I could observe the sea and was able do watch it through the window, stay dry and warmed up.

I took out my laptop and watched one of the online videos of my studies. In between, my gaze fell on my cell phone. I hoped to get a message from Mabel, but in vain. I sighed loudly as I turned my phone over slightly pissed.

Maria turned around in her wheelchair and looked at y/n worried "is everything okay y/n? Today it seems to be one of the less good days again?"

I nodded silently without looking at her. But since it was getting dark very slowly outside, I could see her reflection in the window. And then I suddenly saw it. A light in the distance. It flashed twice. I had to smile and took one of the larger flashlights when I left the cabin and ran out to the site.

I tried to show the boys that I was here. After not even three flashlight signals, the horn of the finestkind echoed back.

"The boys are back..." a part of me was happy because this meant that there would be fun evenings again, but another part in me was worried. What about Charlie?

After twenty minutes I went down and greeted the boys. Laughing, they called me

"Y/N Lighthouse!" I shook my head and said "you are so stupid guys" after they had all solid land under their feet, I greeted everyone with a hug.

"This time you've been away for a really long time, why?" I asked curiously.

Charlie began to explain "we have found a new route that allows us to make stops at other yards... that's why we will be on the road longer than usual in the future" I nodded "that sounds hard".

Tom chuckled "it's business"

I left the harbor with the boys. Following Tom and Costa a little further back with Charlie.

"Have you seen Mabel?" He asked me calmly. My heart began to race when I tried to answer him "yes... last time yesterday" Charlie nodded and seemed to be deep in his thoughts "was she okay?" He asked.

In my steps, I stopped and looked crookedly at him "what's wrong Charlie?" He turned around and scratched the back of his head "we sort of broke up"

I looked at him with wide eyes and almost a open mouth. On the one hand I was shocked, on the other hand I already thought about it and accordingly did not feel so bad after sleeping with her.

"What do you mean by sort of?" I asked seriously. Charlie smiled nervously "well... we now have this new strategy while fishing and that means that we will be even less at home... and I didn't want to do that to Mabel"

I shook my head

"Charlie... I understand your thoughts behind it but that's Mabel... she... she is-" I began, almost starting praise Mabel and Charlie interrupted me smiling "I know..."

I sighed "how did she handle it?" I asked worried.

Charlie raised his shoulders "I'm not sure... she was a little angry... but understood the reason" I nodded.

A thousand questions went through my head. Did she love him? Was she sad? Was she angry? What went through her head? How did she feel?

"Maybe I should have a look at her," said Charlie. My stomach turned around. But I doubted that Mabel would say anything about us, because as it seemed to me, she didn't seem to be interested in what happened between us.

"Maybe" I repeated quietly and looked at him and the other boys.

Days passed and everyday life quickly became my usual old routine. Online lectures whenever I could.

Later shifts in the bar and hanging out at the harbor. I still haven't had a message from Mabel. I had also given up to be honest. Charlie seemed to have visited her. He doesn't told me anything and honestly I didn't ask either.

I didn't want to know what was between them because I wouldn't have a chance anyway.

"Y/N! Another round of beer for us please!" Called the boys at the other end of the bar.

I wiped the bar and grabbed three bottles of beer. I ran over to them and put them at the table "please slow down today for once," I said laughing. "I don't feel like cleaning behind you guys" I shouted to them as I ran back to the counter "boss I'll get new beer in the back" I said and went to the storage room.

I didn't know what was happening while I was gone, within a few minutes I heard the rattling of glass, falling furniture and something that sounded like a brawl.

I immediately reached for the baseball bat I had near my locker and ran back to the bar.

Within seconds I saw what and who the problem was "you fucking asshole!" I shouted angrily and jumped over the counter. Skeemo was back with his junkie friends and had beaten Tom, Charlie and Costa up. Skeemo was just choking Charlie. I ran towards him from behind and hit him on the back of the head "fuck you!" I shouted angrily.

Skeemo let go of Charlie, who was now coughing on the floor. He cleverly looked at me when he scanned the back of his head and saw blood on his fingers "you fucking bitch" Skeemo hissed and then I saw red.

I didn't remember what happened afterwards. I only knew that I was questioned by the police after a team of paramedics checked my wounds.

If there was a secret about me, it was my uncontrollable anger and aggression. It was hard to get me to this point... but if you succeeded, it was hard to stop me. After I saw Skeemo, it came over me. Not only was he the reason for Mabel's injuries at the back then, but he had also whistled the boys....

After all the interrogation and a small visit to the hospital, I wanted nothing more than to go home.

My face hurted. My fists were beaten bloody and my ribs were slightly broken. I held back the pain. Something I knew too well. Something that made me feel alive in dark times.

"Thank you Y/N... what you did today... you should not be underestimated," Tom said when he took me off at home.

I looked at him with hidden pain "Charlie... Costa?"

Tom smiled slightly "they will recover" I nodded and slowly opened the door of his car. In the end, I had tried to mess with each of the junkies. They beat me... but they had it much... much worse then me. The ambulance was not called for me or the boys. It was called for Skeemo and his new gang.

I hoped they would die. But the possibility that they would survive and later die of drugs was higher.

"Take care of yourself Y/N" Tom called after me before I disappeared into my apartment.

I slightly held my left side where my ribs were damaged and moved towards my couch in slow painful steps. I wouldn't make it to bed. I bit firmly on my teeth when I tried to sit down and suppressed screams of pain. I held my breath and leaned back carefully. I closed my eyes and a tear escaped me.

The bruises on my face hurted. Probably everything had already turned purple. My hands were shaking. They were full of bruises and dried blood.

When it knocked on my door, I cursed the person behind it. I breathed heavily with pain when I supported myself with a trembling arm and walked so slowly to the door that the person began to knock again more and more impatiently.

I leaned against the wall exhausted and held my side as I opened the door only one gap to be careful.

"Y/N... hey- oh my God what happened?!" The next moment Mabel stood in front of me and held my face very carefully in her hands with a worried look. I squeezed my eyes in pain and breathed heavily as the pressure of my ribs pressed on my lungs.

"I'll help you..." she said calmly and gave me the feeling of security. Carefully she put my right arm around her shoulder and took me to my bedroom.

She held my hand tightly as I slowly sat down, I could only weakly suppress a painful moan. Mabel's dark eyes scanned my face and every other injury on my body. It seemed like she was falling from the clouds.

"I heard about a brawl in the bar but..." she began and stopped when I closed my eyes exhausted and lowered my head.

She went to her knees in front of me while resting her hands on my knees when she looked up to me worried.

She carefully touched my chin and lifted it. I opened my eyes and was now forced to look at her pitch black ones.

"What happened?" She whispered so quietly that I got goose bumps. I swallowed hard "can you... help me?" I whispered and looked slightly to the side. I was too weak to say more, but Mabel seemed to understand what I needed.

She helped me to lie down.

As soon as I lay on my back, Mabel covered me a little with my blanket, turned off the lights in my apartment and only turned on the small night light on my bedside table.

She disappeared from my room and came back with a glass of water and a pill. She put both on my bedside table and took off her jacket before she sat down with me on the bed "drink that... it helps against the pain" she said gently.

I breathed heavily and took the pill from her hand, I swallowed it down with water and tried to find some recovery.

Next I heard the sound of a plastic bag "fuck..." I hissed when I felt the burning pain on my ankles. Mabel had previously moistened a swab with alcohol to disinfect my bruised and blood-dried ankles.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered worriedly and continued cautiously.

Why was she here? And why was she so caring? Was Mabel interested in something for me?

My heart began to beat faster again at this thought.

"Skeet was suddenly in the bar with his junkies... and it escalated" I explained weakly. Mabel nodded silently, the way she looked at me... she hadn't looked at me since the day we met like that. This time I knew... that she really looked at me and perceived me.

"As I know you... I assume that Skeet and the others look worse..." said Mabel with a grin that brought out her dimples.

A smile escaped me. Even if it hurt, it still felt good.

I put my head aside and watched Mabel carefully take care of my hands. Her touches felt so gentle and good... I almost felt safe.

"Feels like it was yesterday when you beat up the junkie because he wanted more drugs from me" Mabel began with a smile.

I had to laugh a little and closed my eyes when it hurt. "... yes I remember... that day I was looking for trouble... and this guy was just in the wrong place at the wrong time" Mabel grinned wider when she remembered.

At that time, as always, Mabel had to make the deals for her mother. It was New Years Eve and most people went crazy anyway. But when Mabel had just made a handover, the junkie wanted more from her and started going crazy. He grabbed her by the arms and yelled at her, high from the drugs he had taken before. Before the guy could get closer to her y/n came around and had boxed the guy so hard that he was immediately unconscious. That evening she was slightly drunk and was looking for a reason to hit someone. Luckily for her, she found Mabel and the junkie.

"You okay? Looked like you were in trouble" y/n had said at the time. Mabel looked impressed at the unconscious junkie.

Y/n grinned wide and held out her hand "I am y/n" Mabel was fascinated by her at the time. How could anyone be so harmless and at the same time too unpredictable. She laughed and shook her hand "Mabel... you always walk around and punch people like that?"

Y/n had a sparkle in her eyes that caught Mabel's attention right away "nope... but i was looking for some trouble today so..."

Mabel smirked seductive and said "then it's your luck... I'm always surrounded by trouble"

That's how they met. In the chaos of violence. A miracle.

"Where you ghosting me?" asked Mabel with a dirty grin as she held my hand in hers.

I looked at her seriously "you're joking, aren't you? I would rather say that you ghosted me..." I said seriously.

Even if she was here now and we shared a moment of the past... I was still disappointed and even a little angry.

Mabel continued to smile.

"Sorry..." she whispered and lay down next to me on the bed the next moment.

She watched my reactions and when I didn't show any, she supported herself against her arm and carefully stroked the bruises on my left cheek.

"You should rest now..." she whispered and gently stroked with her fingertips my jaw as she lay down closer to me.

I began to feel calmer, relaxed and more secure. The pain was not as strong as a few minutes before, probably the painkillers from Mabel had helped. Slowly she put her hand around my neck and began to scratch me.

I felt goose bumps all over my body and my eyelids slowly felt heavy. My head was lying to the right side and I slowly fell into an exhausted sleep.

After Y/N fell asleep, Mabel watched her calm face. The bruises had turned purple. What did you see in me? Mabel asked herself as she continued to caress her neck. She never thought to see y/n in such a state. It hurt... it really did badly and showed her what a bad friend she was. Y/n had always cared. She didn't cared what people said about others... she always made an impression on herself. She was never reproachful... she was always friendly, showed interest in others and was always there. But who was there for her? Who listened to her thoughts and worries? Who was interested in her? Who cared for her?

"Im right by your side" I whispered as I continued to stroke her neck and carefully gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek. Y/n had fallen asleep deeply and Mabel didn’t had planned to leave y/n side. She wouldn’t wake up alone this time.

[thesuperiorrobin]

Untitled

Pairing: Damian Wayne x Fem!reader

Word count: 1.0k

Warning: none

A/N: also reminder all my requests have been completely deleted after I had gotten a new phone. I’ll open up requests later I just don’t know when. I’m a bit disappointed in myself bc I didn’t get to them sooner. So again sorry if your requests won’t be done anytime soon.

You’re never the first to call.

Most of the time it’s Damian.

Damian needs something in his life that no one in his family could give him. They could, but it wouldn’t be the same if he got it from you. You’re in your room, it’s late. Too late where the streets of Gotham have gone silent—and that alone should say something. You're humming a song of your choice that plays in the background of your bedroom as you sew up a piece of your jacket that you had accidentally ripped when you were out during the day. The music cuts off as your phone beside you starts to ring. It’s a facetime call.

incoming call 🩷🗡️Damian🩷🗡️….:

You’re quick to answer it… pressing the green button as you propped up your phone up against a couple of books you had laying around on your small desk you sat at so he could get a better view of you. There’s a smile on your face when he shows up. I'm your view on the phone. He’s laying down on his bed looking tired and beaten. Damian had just gotten back from a night of patrol before he decided to call you.

“Hi!” You great, he greets you back with a quiet hello “what are you doing?”

“I could ask you the same thing” you hum as you focus back on your jacket.

“Well, my excuse is I took a nap— at like—I don’t know-five? Maybe six? Anyway I woke up not even an hour ago. So I’ll be up the entire night” you laugh at yourself softly “What about you? Why are you up?” He’s quiet for a moment, and that worries you. He says nothing for a few scones seconds, you look up and stare at your phone—staring at his reflection on the other side of your device. There’s something about him that you can’t read well. And that says something because you could usually read off his emotions based on his expression.

“Just got done with patrol” he finally speaks and you nod slowly “how was your day beloved?” A question that’s quick to get you.

Damian loves listening to you talk about your day, even if it was just you doing absolutely nothing. You are quick with your answer.

“I didn’t do much! I only went to the mall today with a friend and let me tell you—twenty-five dollars in this economy ain’t shit. I think I spend around one hundred dollars? I think and I only went to like three stores but I still have money left over. Also Victoria secret underwear is not for the weak at all. They’re cute but some of them are just eh—not made for wearing them all day—“ you stop yourself from saying anything else. You look at your phone to stare at Damian who says nothing. The more you look at him the more he looks exhausted.

“Damian?”

“Yeah?”

“Come over” a soft smile grazes your lips “‘my parents aren’t home. Away on a business trip or something like that”

“oh?” That seems to spike his interests “what’s the occasion?” You shrug as you think for a moment, your ripped jacket now forgotten and placed aside

“movie night? I was watching a scary movie on Max called Barbarian. I was watching it alone but ten minutes in I got scared” Damian let’s put a small laugh that warms your heart. He’s slowly coming down from whatever he was going through.

“So?”

“I’ll be there. Just give me a few minutes”

“yay. I’ll see you in a bit. My windows open so you can just come in whenever”

You say your goodbye before you hang up on each other.

When Damian finally comes round you’re in the kitchen standing in front of the microwave as you make popcorn. Too engrossed on your phone you don’t notice him until his reflection covers your screen. You're quick to turn around and greet him with a hug that lasts longer than usual. It had you wondering. It’s not until the sound of your microwave beeping, you two pull apart but not fully. Hands linger on his face longer, palms against his tan cheeks.

“You okay?” Softly, you ask and he nods against your hands—his own hands coming up and grasping yours bringing your palm closer to his lips. He kisses it softly before he nuzzles into them again.

“Yes, with you I’m always okay” you hum as you smile up at him.

“Okay….” The microwave beeps once more, a reminder that the popcorn is ready. You let go of Damian as you make your way towards it, opening it and taking out the hot and steaming bag. You place it on the counter as you go and retrieve a bowl.

“You can go sit on the couch if you want” you say dumping the popcorn into the bowl

“I’ll be there in a minute” he nods but you can’t see, you hear his footsteps disappear as he walks away. You spot Damian sitting on the couch waiting patiently, there’s no expression on his face as he stares blankly at your T.V. A frown paints your lips as you walk up to him and hand him the popcorn—he doesn’t say a word as he takes it from your hand and watches as you search for the remote. When you do find it you sit next to him draping a blanket that was placed over the arm of the couch. There’s a static silence between the two of you as you search for the movie. Damian drapes his arm over your shoulder—leaning down onto you.

“Tired?” You laugh slightly—hand coming up to ruffle his black hair as you press play on the movie. He shakes his head

“No. I’m never tired” he smiles

“Okay, whatever you say” rolling your eyes playfully you lean closer to him. The popcorn was now in your hands, placed on your lap. Damian arms were wrapped around you protectively. You two to engrossed in the movie you were watching

Damian was always okay. He just missed you. Today was the first time he’s been over your house in the past six months and talking to you through the phone wasn’t doing any justice to him. Missing you kinda gives him a home sick-y feeling.

Also I recommend watching Barbarian on MAX. It’s not really a jump scare kind of horror movie. It’s more like an uneasy kind of movie. 10/10. Although I do have to give a warning bc there is blood and gore and also mentions of rape and incest.

[kaelidascope]

Fandom and LGBTQ Hostility and My Experiences Trying to Exist in Both Spaces Online

I came into these spaces with a very strict rule that I would not react or do anything cancel-worthy out of an overabundance of caution. Digital footprints are dangerous. The things you say online will follow you around forever. I know that first hand. I’ve bottled up and stayed silent about a lot of things I’ve either witnessed first-hand or experienced because I was trying to maintain a clean online persona. I’m not an ‘airing out dirty laundry’ type person. 

In light of recent events however, it’s gotten so bad that I can no longer sit here and not say something about how I feel. I’m disappointed and frustrated with the experiences I’ve had both in fandom and LGBTQ+ spaces and I can’t be complacent. I’m tired of getting treated like this, I’m fed up and I’m not going to put up with it anymore. I feel it’s important I voice what I’ve been watching and what’s happened and how I’m not going to tolerate it anymore by calling it out first hand. 

This is a two-topic rant. They overlap in some instances, but it directly has to do with how fandoms behave in general towards each other on Twitter and Tumblr, and also how absolutely hostile LGBTQ+ individuals are nowadays to each other on the same platforms. 

I come from a different generation and a different social media platform. I wasn’t on Twitter and Tumblr until last year. I’m not dismissing the fact that I may have missed out on decades worth of culture and social expectation. The places where I come from aren’t exactly fantastic either, but at least here, more queer people are interacting with each other with shared interests much more widely than in places like DeviantArt. The amount of culture and information I’ve absorbed in one year is more than I ever had within the past twenty years. It should be a good thing, and I’m disappointed that it wasn’t. 

This is not the way I wanted to come out online to anyone. I’ve been figuring out where I sit on the gender and sexuality spectrum for a while now. I will not document a specific timeline for anyone because that’s nobody’s business but my own. Within the last year, I took a massive stride forward in exploring things I legally didn’t think I was allowed to. I expected backlash from cishets and the usual thing I see LGBTQ+ folks write essays over, about how the world hates us, but at least we have each other. Shockingly, the backlash didn’t come from straight people. It came from other queers. 

I am 27 years old and I am entirely self-sufficient. I’m mixed Puerto Rican living in a red state. English wasn’t even my first language. I don’t have a network, so I’m teaching myself these things. I'm asking questions. I'm reading materials and expressions of self-experience and self-identity through fanworks and other autobiographical content. I'm actively trying to seek community and support through transgender and non-binary individuals with shared interests and so far all I've been met with is hostility and assumptions. So much so that I've now been made to feel like I'm on a timeline to figure it out so I can have a well-practiced, short introduction to copy and paste to every person who comes across me. And the only reason I even need one is so that they can make the decision to pass judgement over whether or not I'm allowed to speak, write, draw, wear, act, breathe the things I do. I'm disappointed. I'm anxious. I honestly feel more shoved into the closet now than I ever did before and I shouldn't be. Nobody should be treated this way when trying to figure out who they are. I probably won't even get an apology for the things that were said to me, either. I pride myself on the extraordinary caution I take to be politically correct, vetted through reputable sources, and as close to authentic as possible. And yet somehow I’m still getting called things like terf, transmisogynistic, triggering, when I’m fucking trans myself and all of my content gets vetted/REQUESTED by trans individuals. I get promised up and down that people are kind and welcoming in these sorts of spaces and honey, they aren’t. The people you choose to be friends with aren't as inclusive and friendly as you think they are. You don’t even know me and what body parts I have. The fact that you need to know in order to decide whether or not to treat me with respect is telling of an internal issue that has nothing to do with me. 

I have no reference point. I live in a place where laws ban anything gender and trans. I have no local resources or community. I've barely met any LGBTQ people in person. If I have, they never came out publicly. Most of my queer exposure has been online, and the fact that I've seen nothing but angry, mean, exclusive and discriminating behavior without any sort of reasoning why other than selfish defensiveness, I don't know where else I'm supposed to go for support. Something a lot of you guys need to take into retrospect is anyone who identifies as LGBTQ gets shot where I live. We have sundown towns here. If you don’t even know what that is, good, but also that’s telling of your privilege that you need to consider when talking to others not from blue states. I didn’t grow up in an environment where we had these highly liberal culture points and the word ‘gay’ was never allowed to be said out loud. We did not have gay clubs in school. I'm about as fucking late to this as you possibly can get. The only reason I know anything about our history, representation, and barely anything about what's socially acceptable and what's not, is because of the internet. So many of you had the privilege of being exposed to this information as young as under the age of 10. I didn’t. Sue me for not immediately knowing what every gender label means right off the bat. Half that stuff isn’t even legal here. 

I can't believe it's boiled down to the fact that I have to somehow justify my existence on this Earth and give an explanation that fits into predetermined boxes just to do anything to engage with other people. I have no time or space to figure it out. I’m disorganized and overwhelmed because I can’t ask questions about ‘can butches do this?’ ‘How versatile is transmasc/transfem?’ ‘Am I more genderqueer or do I fit under the trans umbrella?’ Gender and identity is fluid and ever changing. I have actually seen people harp and attack individuals for "defaulting" or "detransitioning" when they change their mind after giving this big coming out speech. It’s like support on these platforms is entirely conditional and a one-time thing. Y'all really expect people to wear the first style of shirt they buy for the rest of their life? Are we not allowed to do anything unless we know for sure? How’s college working out for you, for those who believe this mindset?

The vocally aggressive ones who use big words that contradict their statements can do, say, and be whatever they want.  But people like me can't. The ones who have to straight pass in public to keep their jobs and maintain their life safely. Some of us have been on our own since 19 with no family support. Consider the environment someone lives in before assigning your harsh assumptions. I can’t just change myself on a whim without doing significant damage control. Half the jobs I work for don’t even allow unnatural hair colors. If we list our pronouns as anything other than our assigned sex at birth, it causes legality issues with taxes. The way I have to navigate how to explore my identity and also keep a roof over my head and my bills paid may seem highly conservative to most. It’s in no way shape or form meant to reflect disrespect on how others live and express themselves. I am doing the best with the environment I have. The way I do things is not meant to be read as a message of ‘you’re doing it wrong because you’re not doing it the way I do.’ None of us are wrong. That should not be the subliminal message here. 

You know someone actually challenged me on that? Saying I was being harmful for purposefully straight presenting in public? Please research your country and state specific laws before you say that to me. If I could afford to live somewhere safer and queer-friendly, this conversation would be different. I am working on getting the fuck out of this state. But I don’t have a partner or parents money to default on. I’m doing this by myself. It’s not impossible, just a slow process. 

I'm disappointed and fed up. I've reached my limit, and I don't really care anymore if someone uses this essay to try and cancel me 5 or 10 years from now when the world goes through another gender renaissance of terms and identities. I will not put up with being treated like this when you refuse to listen to anyone else other than the sound of your own voice. I’m trying my best to learn, adapt, and express myself. I do not need to be lectured or be called derogatory things just because you think I’m coming from a malicious place.  

It’s not just about the hostility and gate-keeping behavior exhibited in online queer spaces. The same exact thing happens in fandom spaces too. People get pissy about queer headcanons and presentations so much to the point of taking it upon themselves to police the fandom and scrub it clean of “impurities.” I’ve watched y’all go through people's social media pages for any type of ammunition for justification of a personal grievance. It shocks me how much hyperfixation gets put on specific and morally harmless things when there are people out there writing diabolical shit way worse than what I have to offer. And y’all happily support them too but bark at me about what I make cus that author fits your social criteria and you assumed I didn’t. Don't think I'm ignorant to every single scrap of hate mail and harassment I've gotten over the past year and a half in my inboxes. Including the passive aggressive posts about my work, vague tweets, and discussions about me in discord servers. Over what? Have you actually read my work? If it’s actually as problematic as you say it is, provide me with a modern and unbiased example why this particular scene and execution is harmful. And not because you got triggered or disliked the kink, or read the summary/tags and assumed it was something it’s not. I don’t know how much more caution tape, massive warnings, obvious clear-cut tags (that were provided to me by queer individuals to PUT on there in the first place) out of insane amounts of caution I can do. I have always been willing to provide spoilers and explicit details in case someone is unsure how they’ll be affected by something I make. If you already don’t like it based on my warnings, that’s always been more than okay! My work is not for everyone. I’m getting tired of politely and respectfully saying please move on, because the message seems to be getting lost in translation. So let me be clear; 

Get off my pages if you don’t like what I make. It’s not for you. It will never be for you. Dead dove. DO NOT EAT. PREFERRED DEMOGRAPHIC 25+ ADULT CONTENT RATED E FOR EXPLICIT. I can recommend so many other fantastic creators with better suited content for you! If I could hide my content behind a roped off section deliberately keeping you from seeing it, I would. BLOCK ME. 

If your response to this section is ‘well then just don’t write it’. Honey, there’s people out here in the RWBY fandom writing trans incest actively commenting on all your shit and you respond back. A magic grimm-goo strap and monster smut featuring a transfem character (again, requested by literally 3 trans people and WRITTEN by one) should be the least of your worries. 

I have actively chosen not to address the harassment and hate mail, because it's sad that half of you hate me so much you need to make a point of telling me so regularly. I sincerely hope moving on with your lives will grant you peace of mind. Truly.

This is why I barely interact with anyone. Nothing but hostility, harassment, and expectation to behave in ways I cannot emotionally commit to. I am exhausted, uninspired, and have such a bad taste in my mouth it's proving extremely difficult to want to do anything creative. It’s been worse with my recent exploration of my gender identity. Opening one door to write about certain things somehow, miraculously, closes ones I previously existed in. I’m practically getting kicked out if I’m not 100% one way or another. I don’t go out of my way to shove my content down your throats. Why you feel the need to come to me and tell me you dislike my existence because you read it, despite me stating this is not for everyone and probably not for you, doesn’t have anything to do with me. Idk what else I can do. Disappear off the face of the planet, I guess. That seems to be what the overall solution is when y’all find something you don’t like. I can't believe I witnessed grown adults in their mid twenties with self-proclaimed senses of rightness start a trend on Twitter to go through people's mutuals and their likes to see if they’re socially acceptable in Fandom spaces or not. That was fucking ridiculous. And especially not fair to those who had their private accounts leaked and put on blast when it was already behind an vetted follower wall. Believe it or not, people draw weird, lewd, diabolical shit. They’re actually being responsible by putting it behind a paywall, or some type of ‘proof of age before following’ requirement. It falls on the people who go on there, take screenshots, and post them publicly for minors and non-consenting individuals to see without filters what was previously hidden. It’s irresponsible and immature. 

For fear of getting canceled by the Fandom, I moved all 600+ accounts I was following onto a private alt. I don't interact with my main anymore. I went so far into hiding and didn’t dare share anything about liking content made by people I wasn’t allowed to like, because that’s how cruel it is out here. It's honestly stupid I even felt like I had to do that. For what? People glazed over the brief moment of drama within a few weeks and went right back to posting the same shit they always have. They find new things to gossip about on their privs. New enemies to cancel on Twitter. New things to deem problematic and attack. 

I will be heard with this letter. I don’t care to be associated with anyone who treats people like this. I don’t believe in it, I won’t support it, and I’d rather have a small circle of people who won’t be rude or attack other people for existing. I’m not going to sit here and take the abuse any longer. Leave me in peace. There is no reason any of this should be happening. 

This is not meant to undermine the support I have gotten from the few who know what I'm going through and have given me the space to figure it out. I appreciate every question answered and insight provided as much as your abilities allow. I'm so grateful for it. I just wish it wasn't 2 people while everyone else is an asshole.

[written-in-flowers]

Appreciated: Wooyoung x Fem!reader

Pairing: Wooyoung x fem!reader

Genre: smut, fluff, tiny bit of angst, romance

Word Count: 9k

Summary: After helping a friend out of her toxic relationship, her situation makes you appreciate your boyfriends even more than before. When Wooyoung makes a specific request, you indulge him.

Disclaimer: These works are completely fictitious and for entertainment purposes only. They are not meant to reflect or label the members of ATEEZ in any way. The events within never took place. Thank you.

Tags: established relationship, polyamory, poly relationship, free-use fantasy, free-use kink, oral sex (f. receiving), breast play, nipple play, pet names, multiple positions, mentions of toxic relationships/toxic partners, sad but with a happy ending, talks of suicide but super brief and nothing happens, members being absolute angels and simps

Previously on Idol Companion

***

You didn't feel like going out tonight. After having dates with San, Mingi, Yeosang and Hongjoong, your energy bar ran low. You know this is one of the downsides to your job, and you should suck it up and get dressed. Wooyoung deserves as much attention as the rest of the group; you didn’t want him to think you didn’t like being with him. Most clients would pout or make a remark about you not being worth the time anyways. Then again, your boyfriends aren't like any clients you've had before. Sitting up from Wooyoung’s bed, all the tiredness you’d gotten from the day washed back over you. Your morning consisted of gym time with Yunho and Mingi, a few dance classes with your toddler group, running last minute errands and then lunch with friends. You’d come to Wooyoung’s apartment and crash onto his bed before he even came home. 

You knew Wooyoung won’t be bothered, but you couldn’t help feeling the anxiousness. You hated being the person who brought down their smiles or disappointed them. Leaving his bedroom, you found Wooyoung already standing in the kitchen with a can of soda in his hand. Long black strands pulled back from his face, Wooyoung wore a black shirt with matching shorts. Personally, you loved your boyfriends barefaced and casual. Something about their natural beauty attracted you, and you couldn’t help looking him up and down when you saw them. He lifted his eyebrows in acknowledgement and took a sip from his drink.

"I wanted to ask you something," you said, getting your own drink from the fridge. 

You noticed he’d paused, studying your expression before saying. "I do too, but I think we're thinking the same thing so you go first."

"Staying in for tonight?"

"Yes, please," he slumped against the counter, "I'm glad you asked. I really didn't feel like putting myself together and going out."

"Me neither," you leaned on the counter beside him. You popped open your drink, then took a few gulps of it before continuing, "I went to the movies with Yeosang last night. I went to the festival with Hongjoong the night before. I went to a concert with Mingi and San the night before that. I went to the gym, had some toddler dance classes, and then ran errands. I'm just…wiped out," you sighed deeply. "I'm sorry."

He smiled, "Don't be. Our schedule has been super crazy and dance practice ran longer today so I'm all bleh." He wrapped you in his arms, "Take out and a movie?”

“I’m tired of eating out,” you said, “I’ll cook something and we can pick a drama to watch or whatever.”

“You sure?” you felt his hand rub the small of your back, “I know how tired you are.”

“I can make something simple and quick.”

“Then, I’ll help,” he concluded. “I think there’s some meat leftovers we can finish, and we’ll cut up some veggies and rice? Simple and easy?”

“Alright.”

Wooyoung went looking for meat and vegetables in the fridge, while you poured a few cups of rice from a holder. You smiled softly to yourself at the relief of a night inside. Having eight boyfriends can be challenging at times. You realized early on that you’d bitten off more than you could chew with Ateez. You found yourself stretched thin from all the tour traveling, kpop conventions, fan sign events, dance practices, recording sessions, and group and solo dates. You lived with only Yunho and Yeosang, but you regularly drifted between the three apartments to be with all of them. It became a lot sometimes, but thankfully, they understood and helped lighten the load for you. Dumping the cups into the rice cooker’s pot, you began washing the rice out when your phone vibrated in your pocket. Busy cooking, you didn’t answer immediately. 

“Any show in particular you want to watch?” Wooyoung asked as he brought a package of meat to the island counter. You always let him cut and cook meat since he was better at it. Rice and vegetables are your expertise. “I saw this new zombie drama on Netflix. We could give that a try if you want.” 

“I don’t know about a zombie one,” you said, finishing with the rice and putting it to cook. “Everything is about freaking zombies nowadays. I want something different.” Putting the rice on, you grabbed the various vegetables Wooyoung brought to start washing them thoroughly. “There’s a drama about a woman who’s like a double agent for a mafia guy and the police. Mihee told me about it and she said it was good. If we hate it, we can just watch another one.”

Wooyoung stayed quiet for a moment, then said, “Nah. Sounds like something I need to pay attention to, and my brain is mush right now.” 

“Then maybe I should cut the meat,” you joked, bringing your vegetables and cutting board over to the island counter. “Your mushy brain might slip up.”

“And have you cut your finger again? I’m good,” he laughed. “I like my food to not have human blood in it.” 

He cut the meat into thin slices, while you carefully chopped the onions, carrots and celery. “We can try this boxer drama I saw,” he said, side eyeing you with a smirk, “As long as you don’t drool over the leads.”

You rolled your eyes, “I do not drool over the leads.”

“Yes, you do,” he laughed, starting to season the meat on the cutting board. “I remember how obsessed you became with Lee Dohyun when we watched Sweet Home together. Then you did it again with Wi Jahoon after Squid Games. You watched everything you could find and got all excited when your friend told you she went on a date with Dohyun.” 

“I couldn’t believe it!” you exclaimed. “I didn’t see him as being the type for that kind of service. She was so lucky.”

“Hey,” Wooyoung said, offended. He took the meat from the counter to the stove, putting oil into a pan. “I’m right here, you know.”

You giggled when he poked your side, and then you gave an apology peck. “Oh, you know I’m all yours.”

Your phone buzzed in your pocket a second time, and you wiped your hands to at least see who called. Expecting your mother’s number, a pit of worry settled in your stomach when you saw the actual name. ‘Mihee’. Wooyoung focused on cooking the meat, so you answered her call. 

“Mihee-ah, what’s up?” you asked, making sure not to sound worried right off the bat. 

“YN-unnie,” you heard her soft-spoken voice squeak your name, and you frowned, “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

“What happened now, honey?” you kept your concern in your voice. “What’s wrong?”

“I just can’t handle this anymore. It’s too much,” she sobbed. “They’re so…I can’t be here anymore.”

“What did they do?” 

Lee Mihee, a short woman with bright eyes and a friendly smile, came up in the Companion industry beside you. Always bubbly and full of life, clients often noted her way of brightening up their day. She’d gotten into dating groups like you did, and did very well since she could mold herself to fit any personality. However, while you had ATEEZ, who were angels, she’d gotten with Galax1. You’d met them a handful of times at music bank shows and conventions and their vibe immediately threw you off. They’d been kind enough at first, since they doted and praised Mihee often, but from what she’s told you things changed over time. 

“Today was Chulsoon’s birthday,” she began, taking deep breaths to keep her voice steady, “And we all were going to go out for dinner.”

The name alone made you clench your jaw. Chulsoon was Galax1’s visual and main vocalist. A soft, fair-skinny boy with wide eyes and an angelic voice, he is the Yeosang equivalent. Except Yeosang is a real fairy prince, whereas Chulsoon is a goblin in disguise. He never fails to make a disparaging remark about Mihee, usually in a nonchalant tone. You nearly threw a shoe at him when he told Mihee she should lose some weight, since her dress was tight in the middle. 

“Yeseo was coming with us.”

You groaned at the mention of her name. It isn’t uncommon for groups to bring in more partners as they progress in their career. You knew groups that had three or four of them. However, the normal procedure is discussing a new partner with the group’s current partner. Mihee told you that Galax1 did not do that. They brought Yeseo home after a single meeting, and told Mihee that she’d be living with them. No discussion. No contract alterations. You advised her to go to the agency and renegotiate her contract, since they did not tell her they’d be adding a new girlfriend. However, you guessed she never did this due to the group’s leader talking her out of it. This situation might’ve been okay if Yeseo actually got along with Mihee, who is now the group’s Main Partner. Mihee told you she did not. She was spoiled, entitled, and demanded all the attention. 

“And she made a mess of things and embarrassed you?” you guessed ahead, dumping the vegetables into an oiled pan. Wooyoung scrunched his nose in a question, and you mouthed ‘Mihee’, which made him nod and continue cooking. 

“No, no, not that,” she said. “I get dressed to go to the restaurant with everyone, and Chulsoon sees me and-and says that I look too pretty and need to change because this is supposed to be Yeseo’s night. His parents are going to be there, and he wants to introduce them to her.”

Your jaw dropped, “He actually said that to you?”

“He-He did,” she replied in a sob. 

“Don’t tell me you actually changed?”

“I did. I didn’t want to ruin his birthday and Kwangmin told me that Chiwon’s mom was looking forward to seeing me.”

“Let me guess: Chiwon’s mom never said that?”

“No!”

Kwangmin was Galax1’s comedian who likes making jokes and is their mood-maker. Another skinny man with a dimpled smile, fans adored their ‘sunshine boy’. Little do they know, sometimes his “pranks” went too far and could be downright hurtful. Sadly, Mihee is usually his target. You hadn’t forgotten the time he’d pantsed her in public, her face beet red and tearful as the embarrassment filled her insides. Nor the time when he purposefully ruined her birthday party video by replacing all the nice photos with terribly altered ones. Each time he claimed it was a ‘joke’, but nobody was laughing. 

“I felt so stupid and humiliated,” she sobbed. “I almost did not go to the restaurant, but I’d already gotten dressed, so I went anyway. When I was…When I was…” you heard her take deep breaths. 

“When you did what?”

“When I was in the car, Yeseo kept complaining that I still looked too pretty and that she didn’t want me there,” she said. “She said me crying was just going to draw all the attention away from her.” 

“Ugh, that bitch.” You felt like going to their dorm and smacking the insipid bitch. “What happened then?”

“Chiwon told me to stop being a cry baby, and that not everything is about me.” 

Kwang Chiwon. You’d consider the group’s leader your worst enemy if you actually cared about him. In front of fans and cameras, he’s a hard working artist who cares about his younger members. Off camera, he proved to be a different guy; he tended to be Mihee’s worst tormentor. He could cut her down with a single remark. He’d break her things, then blame her for making him so mad that he did it. He never showed concern or care for her. You could tell how much he truly disliked Mihee. You guessed the Companion idea was not his doing, but his managers or his members. His cruelty hurt the most because Mihee had loved him the hardest. 

“I stayed in the car for a bit to calm myself down, but when I got inside the restaurant,” you heard her take more deep breaths before bursting into tears again. 

“Babe, babe, calm down and breathe, okay? Just breathe. Just breathe in and out.” You heard her breathing shakily, and she continued. 

“The host says my name isn’t on their party list and I couldn’t go inside.” 

“What?”

“Yeah, he said that it wasn’t there and I wasn’t allowed to go inside with them.”

“They did that shit on purpose,” you seethed, anger distracting you from the vegetables you’d put in the pan. Quickly, you put them into a plate before they burn up. “They never planned on you sitting with them. They did it to humiliate you, again. Mihee-ah, why do you stay with them? You can get out of your contract easily.”

“I can’t.”

“What do you mean ‘you can’t?”

“I don’t make enough from them to leave. They’re not as popular as your boyfriends. They don’t make a lot of money yet,” she said. 

A Companion’s pay is usually determined by the group’s budget. Since your boys make millions, you can live comfortably on your own, if you wish. Galax1 did not do so well. Hardly anybody really knew who they were, and you’re glad that karma turned back on them. 

“It’s so horrible here,” she sobbed. “They never think about me anymore. They make food, and if I’m not there with them, they don’t make enough for me.” 

This made you pause over your current meal. A meal you’re cooking with your loving boyfriend Wooyoung, who always made sure you ate well. You couldn’t picture them ever leaving you out of anything. Yeosang is incapable of being mean, and Yunho is too caring. Hongjoong, above them all, takes care of you as much as possible. 

“And I never told you about the time Kenny grabbed my arm hard and left a bruise.”

Kenny. The group’s ‘muscle pig’. You’d seen his muscles, and imagined him being capable of that. 

“They used to be so nice to me. I…I don’t know what I did wrong. I don’t know what happened.”

“You didn’t do anything. They’re the assholes. They’ve taken advantage of you too many times.”

You could never see Jongho making jokes at your expense, or San using his strength to physically harm you. 

“We used to all be so happy. I remember when Chulsoon used to make me pancakes after our date nights, and when Chiwon would let me sit in his studio with him to listen to his songs,” she lamented. “Kenny used to sing me to sleep when I had nightmares, and would take me out for coffee after our gym sessions. He doesn’t even want me going with him anymore. I don’t know what I did, Unnie. I don’t know where I went wrong or why they stopped caring about me. Everything is always my fault even when it’s not. I’m always the bad guy, the one in the wrong, the asshole. They hardly notice me or talk to me some days. They’re more concerned with their new pet than they are with me.”

“Then leave them and let her deal with their bullshit,” you told her. 

“Maybe I should terminate my contract.”

The words shocked you beyond belief. All thoughts of your night with Wooyoung went out the window in a single sentence. 

“No, Mihee-ah,” you said firmly. “Don’t say things like that.”

“It’s not like anyone would care!” she cried. 

“That’s not true, Mihee, and you know that. So many people would care,” you replied with a plea. “I’d care. Saehee, Jihye, and Sumi would care. Your parents and grandparents would care. Your sisters, who adore you, would care. Don’t say things like that.”

“It’s the only way I can get out!” 

“No, it is not.”

“I can’t afford to leave. My contract isn’t up for another year. I…I have to do it.”

“No, you do not,” you told her. 

There are only two ways a Companion can get out of their contract without paying: they’re dignosed with a terminal illness or they try committing suicide. You’d heard of Companions ending up in hospitals because they tried ending their lives. A few of them actually succeeded. The idea of Mihee, sweet and gentle Mihee who never hurt anyone, doing something like that brought tears to your eyes. 

“Where are you?” you asked her. “Mihee-ah, where are you?”

“I walked back home. I couldn’t stay there. I didn’t want them to come out and find me,” she said. “It hurt so much. Everything they do hurts. It’s like they don’t want me around. They treat me like I’m a nuisance to them…I’m a punching bag when they’re mad. I’m a joke to them.”

“There are other ways to get out of your situation, Mihee.” 

“How?!” 

As you stayed on the phone with Mihee, you texted another friend of yours: Jihye. She lived closer to Mihee, and would get to her faster than you could. 

You: MIHEE WANTS TO TERMINATE!! 

Jihye-babe: OMG WHERE IS SHE??

You: at her place. I’m trying to talk her down now. I’m too far away to get there in time.

Jihye-babe: omw don’t worry

“You can go to the agency dorms and get a room,” you said, “And tomorrow we’ll go Sungmi and she’ll find a way to help you out. They should have records from your medical appointments. If you tell the therapist what you’re thinking of doing-”

“-I haven’t been going to my appointments.”

“Why not?”

“Chiwon says I don’t need to go. He says I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. Mihee, please,” you sniffled. “Jihye is on her way to you.”

Mihee continued crying, and hearing her cries broke your heart further. Several awful visions went through your head as you listened. Not Mihee. You texted Sungmi, your agent. You told her everything Mihee said, and her response relieved you. 

Sungmi: I will get her a room in the residency building, and send someone to go pick her up. Jihye will be there?

You: Yes, she’ll be there. She can’t afford the fees right now, though. 

Sungmi: I’ll waive the dorm fees for now. I’ll arrange a payment plan with the bursar’s office tomorrow morning.

You: Thank you, Sungmi. 

“Sungmi is sending a van to come pick you up,” you told Mihee. “You can stay there for a while.”

“I can’t pay.”

“She’ll work that out later. We want you to be safe, babe. You’re going to be okay,” you comforted her. 

You felt so helpless. You felt useless. 

“They’ll come get me back anyways,” she sniffled. “They won’t let me go.”

“The agency will make them let you go.”

If there is one authority who could stop this, it’d be your agency. You’d joined The Eden Agency years ago when you saw their dedication to taking care of their employees and workers. You knew all the stipulations and restrictions they put into their contract clauses to keep everyone safe and happy. You couldn’t believe Galax1 somehow made it under the radar this long. Your hands clenched into fists as you stayed on the phone with Mihee, who gradually calmed down until you heard Jihye in the dorm. The savory scents of the food you’d cooked did not penetrate through your anger. How could they do this to her? You couldn’t fathom why someone would do this to a person they claimed to love.

“The van’s here,” Jihye’s voice came through Mihee’s phone. “I’ll go with her to make sure she’s settled in okay.”

“Keep me updated, yeah?”

“Totally.” She gave a sigh, “I can’t believe those assholes. Saehee and Sumi are gonna meet us at the agency. When can you be here?”

“In an hour,” you said, putting the vegetables on the counter with a concerned Wooyoung. “I’ll bring some food for her. She’ll be hungry and the cafeteria will be closed.”

“Good idea. I got a bottle of soju in my purse.”

You didn’t laugh, though you wanted to. “I’ll be there soon.”

“Alright, cool. See ya.”

Both of you hung up, and suddenly you did not feel hungry anymore. Wooyoung stood on the other side of the counter now, chopsticks in his hand as he picked up a bit of meat to put in a perilla leaf. 

“What’s wrong with Mihee?” he asked, with concern on his face. 

“She…” you couldn’t bring yourself to say it out loud. You felt as if saying it might embarrass Mihee. “She had a big fight with Chiwon, and he said a bunch of nasty things to her.” You picked up your own chopsticks, but only picked at the cooked vegetable sides. “She was having a panic attack, so I texted Jihye and Sungmi. She can’t keep living with them. They’re so terrible to her, and that new girlfriend of theirs is no help either.”

“I can’t believe she stayed with them this long,” Wooyoung told you after chewing his food. “I remember doing Kingdom with those guys, and they were so rude. They hated each other, and were hard to work with.” He snorted, “You should’ve heard the way they talked about you when you told that Kenny guy off.”

Yes, you remembered Kingdom. You also remembered Mihee doing her best to keep the six idiots happy. “What did they say?”

“He’d told San that we should keep a leash on our woman,” he snickered, “And that if we put your mouth to good use, it wouldn’t gab so much.”

You groaned, “Ugh, they’re so gross. What did you say?”

“San almost kicked his ass,” he said, eating his meat and leaf. “Hongjoong-hyung told him it wasn’t worth it and took him away.” He shook his head, “I felt bad for her. If they talk badly about other women, I can’t imagine the things they say about her.” 

“They’re so mean to her,” you told him. You picked at a bit of meat and rice, but barely tasted it. Your worry for Mihee ruined any taste you might’ve enjoyed. “I don’t know why a group would keep a Companion they obviously don’t care about anymore.”

You did, but you felt disgusted saying it in the open. So Wooyoung said it for you. 

“Because they want a free cook and maid,” he said, eating one of the sides you made with rice. “I’m sure they can be charming when they’re horny and want a quick fuck from her too.”

“Gosh, don’t say that. I don’t want to think about what that’s like for her.” You ate from each dish sparingly, “I don’t know what I’d do if you guys started treating me that way.”

“I do.”

“Oh?”

“You’d kick our asses,” he smirked and laughed before sipping from his Coke can. “We’d never fall out of love with you, babe. You’re stuck with us whether you like it or not.”

You smiled, “Even if I wanted to leave tomorrow?”

“Even then. I’d spend the rest of my life trying to win you back if you did that.” 

You believed him. Out of all the members, Wooyoung took to you the quickest and easiest. Yeosang joked he skipped a few steps in becoming friends with someone, since by the next time you saw him, he already kissed your cheek and called you ‘love’. You told Yeosang that Wooyoung is simply an affectionate person who likes talking to people. When their debut came and Wooyoung could put his name on your contract, he became the most physically affectionate of them all. It’d been his opinion you trusted whenever you met a new person, since he picked up on vibes and moods fairly quickly. 

“So, I’m assuming drama night is being postponed?” He did not say this in a disappointed voice, but a playful one. 

“At least for a little while,” you winced. “I’m sorry, Woo.” 

“It’s okay. I’m not mad,” he assured you. “Mihee is one of your closest friends, and she needs you right now. I’ll be here when you come back.” He stood up to grab an empty food container, “Take her some food so she’s not hungry. Home cooked food is the best when you’re feeling down.”

You gave his cheek a kiss, then began packing food and snacks for Mihee while he cleaned. When you finished, you turned to see him by the sink. Everything paused all of a sudden. Mihee spends portions of her day cooking for her “boyfriends” and is then left to clean it all up. Your boyfriends never let you do anything on your own. Every time you cooked, one of them offered to help as best as possible, even if it was being Designated Food Taster. They might talk over who cleans up afterwards, but they never bring your name into it, especially if you’re the one who cooked. You couldn’t imagine any of them treating you how Galax1 treated Mihee. 

“Wooyoungie,” you called him, “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything, angel.”

‘Angel’. A name so commonly given to you. What did Galax1 call Mihee? “If we all went out somewhere fancy together, would you make sure my name was on the list?”

“Psh, of course,” he put the last of the dishes in the dishwasher, “We’d make sure your name is the first on it.”

“And would you ever tell me to change my clothes because you didn’t want me to deflect attention from someone else?”

“No,” he squeezed some detergent into the washer, then said, “Is this about Mihee?”

“Yes.” 

“YN,” he closed the door and turned it on, “Never in a million years would we treat you that way. In fact,” he walked over to you and held you in his arms, “We do our best to put your happiness first. It only works out that you’re always doing the same for us.” He kissed you softly, then said, “I love you, YN. Not just because the sex is incredible and you’re insanely gorgeous either,” you both laughed together. “But, you’re a kind, compassionate, empathetic person who would drop all her plans to go help a friend who needs her.” He gently rubbed your arms, scanning over your features, “I’d never do anything to intentionally hurt you, you know that. I can’t believe you’re even asking these questions.” He kissed you again, and said, “I’ll be here when you get back.”

Hearing him say this warmed your heart, but also made it hurt for Mihee more. If anyone deserved to be happy, it was her. You slipped from his arms to grab your bag from the couch, and left out the door. 

Not before Wooyoung reminded you to take a jacket. 

***

They’d put Mihee in a room by the time you arrived at your agency building. The resident rooms are meant for the freelance Companions who only go on dates. Much like a university dorm, it came with a bed, desk, dresser, and a communal bathroom down the hall. With the cafeteria giving three meals a day, Companions could also get discounts at the agency cafe and on their health checkups. You’d enjoyed living there, since it brought you closer to people who did what you do and it helped you out during rough times. It’s why it’d been your first choice when considering refuge for Mihee, who’d been too distraught to think straight. Unfortunately, the dorm came with a fee that they’d take from every check you received. A fee Mihee could not afford immediately. 

“I’ll work something out with the bursar's office,” Sungmi told her as she settled into her new room. “You stay here and rest for a few days, alright? You’re in a safe space now.”

“Th-thank you, Sungmi-unnie.” 

Sungmi gave her a tight hug, patted her head, and said goodbye to you and the others. Jihye, tall with long blond hair, waited until Sungmi left to open her purse. “I brought soju,” she smirked, “We could all use a drink. You, especially,” she told Mihee and began searching for complimentary cups. 

“Have they contacted you at all?” Saehee, short and round-faced with a brown bob hair cut, took a seat on the bed beside Mihee. 

Mihee still wore the shimmery lavender dress she planned on wearing to the dinner. Her tears smudged most of her makeup, and her lip tint wore off and left her lip liner still there. You hated seeing her this way. You pulled out the makeup wipes you kept in your purse, and gave it to her to clean herself off. 

“No,” she shook her head, her voice still thick from sobs, as she pulled out a wipe, “I texted Chiwon, but he…”

“Left you on read?” Sumi asked reproachfully. She took a soju cup from Jihye. Sumin, tanned with medium length black hair, stood wearing her gym clothes still. Out of the five of you, Sumi worked out the most. “Ugh, he’s so disgusting. I don’t know why you’re so bummed. He’s not even that cute or that successful. I won’t be surprised if their group doesn’t disband in a year or so.”

“They embarrassed themselves with that last comeback,” Jihye snickered, handing you and Saehee a cup. You didn’t drink it. You didn’t think you could stomach anything else. “Like, that song of theirs. What was it called? ‘Dick Me Way’?”

You stifled a laugh, “I think it was called ‘Milky Way’.”

“Psh, could’ve fooled me. It did not sound like they were saying ‘Milky Way’.”

“I thought they might at least be curious as to where I went,” Mihee said to you. “They might not care, but I thought at least Josh would text me. He was always decent towards me.”

“Fuck Josh,” said Saehee, who downed her soju shot immediately. “He’s a dick too. I don’t care how nice he was to you. He still lets them treat you like garbage.”

You unpacked the food you’d brought for everyone to pick at while they talked. Mihee started extolling tales about the things her partners did off screen: how they preferred Yeseo over her, the mean remarks they made about her appearance, how angry they’d get if she made a mistake. It upset you far too much to keep on eating. You thought about what Wooyoung told you about your happiness being their first priority. If they commented on your appearance, it was out of concern and not maliciousness. 

Chiwon told Mihee she ate too much. Yunho would tell you that you didn’t eat enough sometimes, often bringing you snacks during shoots or water when he saw you didn’t drink enough. 

Kwangmin once gave Mihee an empty Gucci box as a present. Hongjoong took you to a fashion show where he made sure the designer had clothes for you to wear too. You’ll never forget his face when he saw you in the final outfit. 

Kenny once told her that she’d have to pay her own way to go with them on tour. Seonghwa always made sure you were included in tour plans because he didn’t want to leave you behind. You never paid a single cent. 

Her boyfriends did not care where she went, what she did or who she did it with. She texted their group chat hours ago, and none of them responded. If you go too long without contact, at least three or four of them will call to check on you. Mihee told you that they rarely spent time with her anymore. Your boyfriends would rather be with you than anywhere else. Mihee’s stories made every complaint you’ve ever made about your boyfriends miniscule and childish. So what if Yunho played games until late into the night? So what if Yeosang was a messy eater or Jongho did not always pick up after himself? They adored you. They loved you. They’d do anything you asked of them, and if they could not, they’d find a way to make you happy. You wished Mihee would find someone like them. 

You stayed with the girls in Mihee’s dorm until eleven o’clock when visiting hours ended. You put leftovers in Mihee’s mini fridge, kissed the top of her head and hugged her tightly. 

“Thank you, YN-unnie,” she said into your shoulder, her voice muffled by your jacket. “If you hadn’t done this for me…I don’t think I’d be here right now.” 

This made you hug her tighter. “I’ll come by tomorrow around two and we can go to your place together to get your stuff, okay? Get some rest.”

“I will,” she nodded.

With one last cheek kiss, you left Mihee’s room and met with Jihye and the others down the hall. In the elevator, she said, “Good on you to text me. When you told me she talked about ‘terminating…” she visibly shuddered, “I almost had a panic attack.”

“I was worried she might’ve already done it,” said Saehee, crossing her arms nervously. “I felt super sick thinking about it.”

“Me too,” Sumi agreed. “Is it messed up that it made me think about my own relationship? Like, I can’t see Yongbok or Changbin ever being cruel to me like that.”

“I don’t think so,” Saehee told her. “When she told me about Kenny almost hitting her once, I thought about Seokjin and how he can be sometimes. We might get into arguments, but he’d never try to hurt me or make me cry just to feel like he won.” 

“It makes me realize how lucky I am,” you said quietly as the elevator reached the bottom floor. “Yeah, it’s tough juggling eight guys on my own, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything else in the world.”

“Yeah, me too.” 

The four of you walked Saehee home first and then Sumi. Jihye went with you to the train station where you waited for the train to take you home. 

“Do you think Mihee will be okay?” asked Jihye. “I mean, they’re the first group she’s ever dated and she was so in love with them. What if they try to get her back or she can’t get out of her contract?”

“Sungmi will fix that,” you assured her. “If anything, I’ll pitch in some money to help her out. I’m sure Saehee will too, since her boyfriends are such big superstars now.”

“I’ll hand some over,” Jihye said. “I happen to know some cute clients who are into girls like Mihee, so if she ever has trouble getting on her feet again, I can slip their names to Sungmi.” 

You nodded at her suggestion, and put your hands in your pockets. “I just want her to be happy and safe. She deserves that.”

“She really does.” 

When the train arrived, you hugged her goodbye and went onboard. On the way home, you checked your phone for the first time since seeing Mihee. As expected, Wooyoung was the first to message you. 

WooWoo 🦊: Are you on your way home soon? It’s getting late. 

You: I’m on the train now. We lost track of time. 

You took a train selfie to appease him, but also because he’d ask for one anyways. 

WooWoo 🦊: Beautiful 😍 is she okay now?

You: Yeah, she’s settled into the dorm and I told her we’d go get more of her stuff tomorrow afternoon. Jihye only got the essentials, but she needs more clothes and stuff. 

WooWoo 🦊: I’m glad. I like Mihee. She’s sweet. Now, get home quickly. I have a surprise for you. 

This message prompted you to go into the group chat you shared with all the members. You mainly used it to discuss group dates or to idly talk about your days as a whole. Anything you had to tell them, you sent it there. As the train stopped at another station, you started typing:

You: My friend Mihee’s staying at the residency dorms at my agency because she talked about killing herself. She told me tonight all about how awful her boyfriends are to her and the terrible things they’ve done. It’s so disgusting it makes me sick. I feel so sorry for my friend because she’s a lovely person and very special to me, but her situation has made me realize how lucky I am. 

Tears started brimming your eyes as you continued. 

You: since the day we met, you’ve been nothing but good to me. Even when you had nothing to offer me, you still did your best to make me happy. You give me so much freedom, which a lot of Companions don’t always have. You don’t keep me on a strict diet. You don’t tell me what I can and can’t wear. You include me in everything you do, and never make me feel left out or unimportant. You never push past my boundaries and respect my privacy and space. When I’m with any of you, I feel safe. I know you’d never do anything to hurt me, and if you accidentally do, you make up for it and apologize. I feel special and beautiful and important when I’m with you. I love each of you so much, and I hope we’re together forever. 

The messages poured a few minutes after you wrote this. 

My Bear 🐻: you know we’d do anything for you, angel. You’re such a special person to me, I couldn’t live my life without you now that I have you. 

Yuyu 🐶: The last thing I’d ever do is hurt you. I love you too, baby ♥️

Hwa 🐰: why would I not include you in everything? You’re my angel, baby. 

Prince Yeosang 👑: I always want to be a person you feel safe with. I know you have your bad days, and I want to be someone who uplifts you. I love you, my princess ♥️♥️

Choi ⛰️: Noooo now I’m crying!! I love you so much, angel. I want us to be together forever too. 

Mingi 🦁: I love you too, angel. You’re the first person I think of when I’m down, because you know how to make me feel better. I don’t ever want to be without you ♥️

Choi ⛰️: we were so nervous when we first met you kekeke 

Joongie 🐱: you know I love you more than the air in my lungs. I could never hurt you, because hurting you would be like hurting myself. You’re a part of me. 

Hwa 🐰: waaaahhh hongjoong putting us all to shame!!

The one person who didn’t answer in the chat texted you privately instead. 

WooWoo 🦊: I’m sorry about your friend. I hope she is okay now. I saw what you put in the chat and I wanted to tell you something: 

WooWoo 🦊 : There was this book quote I read once that really stuck with me. “He is more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same”. It stuck with me because that’s how I feel about you, YN. I feel like if we met in a different lifetime, you and I would still fall in love because we’re the same. It’s why you’re in every music video, because we’d love you in every universe. I love you, YLN YN. I love love love love love you. Come home soon. I miss you. 

You wiped the tears trickling down your cheek as you reread their messages. San recounted the night you’d all met. 

Two weeks before their debut, the boys’ schedule was packed with dance practice, studio recordings, promoting themselves, singing and rapping lessons. They did not have much free time, but management set up a date between you and them. You’d been going through financial troubles from your previous relationship, which left you desperate for a good gig. While going on random dates helped in the short term, it was contracts Companions typically sought out. You decided on a trial-run with an eight-member group to see how things went, and if it worked out, you’d sign a contract with them. A one-year contract where you’d be the sole girlfriend sounded promising. You’d handled groups before now, and a year-long contract is a reasonable starting point; you worked out anything longer after a few dates. You’d seen photos and videos of ATEEZ that KQ sent you, since it’s only fair you see what they looked like. The ‘99 line had all been 18 or 19, and Jongho turned 18 right before then. Only Seonghwa and Hongjoong could be actual romantic partners for you. They’d been so young back then, you realized as the train passed another station. They’d seemed harmless enough, and you really needed a good job. 

You never expected to be with them this long. But, when you met them at the barbeque restaurant that night, you really enjoyed their general vibe. You saw their close-knit brotherhood right away, and the genuine care they had for one another. It was something you noticed in groups from smaller companies; they worked and lived together, which built up a natural love for one another. That love soon stretched over to you. Smiling to yourself, you recalled how shy they’d been around you that night. Wooyoung, Mingi, San, and Yunho did a majority of the talking despite their nerves. The other members revealed later on you’d been much prettier in person, and it intimidated them. 

Walking home from the train station, you thought about those days fondly. You’d often meet up with them at the Han River, where you’d go riding bikes and eating street food together in the spring. They didn’t have much money to spend on you, but that didn’t matter to you. Their company soon became enough for you. You remembered a night when you went to eat after dance practice, and you’d sat specifically with Yeosang because he thought you wouldn’t be interested in him. Shy and anxious, you managed to get him to open up to you like a clam, and his shyness melted away. Once, you went to a convenience store with San and Wooyoung after everyone went to sleep. The three of you played hide and seek down the street. 

It’d been under a street light on the corner that Wooyoung kissed you for the first time. 

“Wooyoung, I’m back,” you said into the apartment, knowing well Jongho is too busy gaming and Hongjoong is likely still in his studio. 

He appeared from his bedroom, smiling at the sight of you. He kissed you as easily as he’d kissed you that night on the street. Wooyoung had taken you gently by the waist, bringing you to him and kissing you passionately.

“Glad you’re home,” he said, taking your bag to put on the hook while you slipped out of your shoes. “I have a surprise for you.”

“As you said in your text,” you replied. You couldn’t help the nostalgic feeling inside your chest. Looking at the man in front of you, it dawned on you how much he’d grown up. “Where is it?” you asked him, getting into your house slippers. 

“Come with me.”

He took your hand and led you to his bedroom. You gasped when you saw what he’d done to his bed. Having taken one of his plain white sheets, he’d tied a string across the top so it created a canopy, then placed fake electric candles around his bed to add light. Blankets from the couch outside, plus several plush pillows added more comfort to his large bed. A laptop plugged into the wall sat on a tray with snacks and drinks in a cooler next to the bed. A blanket fort. 

"Wooyoung-ah," you smiled at his setup, "This is so cute."

"What you said got me thinking about our first time together," he said, bringing you to him as he closed the door. "When we made that pillow fort to watch movies and then we…got all hot and bothered?"

You noticed the seductive tone in his voice and let him kiss you. "Well, if I remember correctly, you were the hot one. I was perfectly fine with hanging out."

"I couldn't help it," he said, bringing you over to the bed where he let you climb on top of him. You mounted his hips, deepening the kiss as you remembered the first time. "You felt so nice against me like this," he gently pushed his hips into yours, "I really wanted to wait for a more romantic moment, but I couldn't wait anymore. And…" he pecked your lips as his hands went down your body, "It isn't like you tried stopping me." 

"Maybe I didn't want you to," you sneered, starting to grind into him. "I meant what I said though," you said, "It really makes me appreciate how good you are to me." A thought then occurred to you, "I wish there was a way I can show my appreciation for you."

Wooyoung picked up on it right away, holding you by the waist as he rolled you on your back. In between your legs, you could feel him right up against your center. His shorts made it much easier to feel him through them, and you couldn't resist grinding into him. Suddenly, Wooyoung drowned all your senses. The fresh scent of his shampoo still clung to his black strands, and to the smooth, supple skin under his shirt. His body heat warmed you against the chill seeping through the nearby windows. Your love for Jung Wooyoung blossomed the night he kissed you under that light. It flourished when you both made love in his blanket fort, soft and passionate and completely wrapped up in one another. Your hands stayed at his shoulders, the bones and muscles tensing under your touch before flexing against it. Everything became Wooyoung. Like the very first time, the small enclosure he created turned the world into one for two.

“There’s something I’ve always wanted to try,” he said, pressing his lips to your neck while your hands slipped under his shirt. “If you’re into trying new stuff tonight, that is.”

“I’ll do whatever you like,” you smiled, gyrating into him slowly so he groaned against your neck. “You’re always thinking of me when we do it. I think it’s only fair that I do things you like too.”

“I want you to watch TV while I fuck you.”

“What?”

“I saw this porn video the other night where the girl watched TV while the guy fucked her,” he explained, “And it was so hot. I want to try it with you.”

Free use. That is what he was talking about: partners having sex even if the other partner isn’t particularly horny. It’s in a consensual way, of course. “Oh?” you smiled, “But does it really count if I’m horny too?”

“You can pretend not to be,” he said. 

You considered it for a moment, then said, “Okay. I’ll give it a shot.” 

Wooyoung beamed and kissed you. He dragged the bed tray beside you, then put on a random movie he knew you liked. You supposed you’d simply lay there and let him do what he wanted while you focused on the movie. Spreading yourself out a bit more, Wooyoung laid on top of you as he kissed down your throat to the neckline of your shirt. The movie’s beginning credits started rolling right as he slid your shirt over your chest, and pulled your bra down under them. You tried keeping back the gasp when his warm mouth touched your skin, a wet tongue immediately circling your nipple. He kept your arms by your head as he flicked his tongue over each one, and you forced yourself to not grind into him. The tip grazed across the hard peaks once or twice before he suckled on them, a low groan emitting from his throat. You tried focusing on the film, a horror movie you enjoyed so you had something distracting you from the pleasure. But, it only just barely worked. As you watched young Drew Barrymore answer the phone while making popcorn, Wooyoung slid further down your body. 

You shifted around to let him pull down your leggings completely, leaving you in your panties and socks. When you felt him sliding off your panties next, you nearly gasped. He lifted your knees up to your stomach and started lightly swatting his tongue on your sex. You clutched the sheets, forcing yourself to focus on the teenage girl panicking as a killer plays cat-and-mouse with her. How did porn stars do this? Once you felt the flat of his tongue gingerly lick your pussy open, you moaned softly to yourself. Part of the free-use kink is that the other partner doesn’t react, but damn, Wooyoung’s mouth worked you so easily. So easily, in fact, you should be ashamed of it. Keeping hold of your thighs, Wooyoung focused his attention on the center of your clit where he rolled the tip around several times. 

“Name the killer in Friday the 13th,” said the killer on screen.

“Jason!”

‘No, you moron. It was his mom…’ you couldn’t help thinking. 

Right as Drew Barrymore is freaking out over her dead boyfriend, Wooyoung reached into his bedside drawer for something. You thought it must be the condom, since Wooyoung practiced so little patience when in the heat of his arousal. After a bit of fumbling around, a distinct hardness touched your entrance. 

“Which door am I at?”

‘Run, idiot. Get out of the hou-’

Wooyoung filled you right to the brim, and you couldn’t help giving a soft moan. Unlike San, who needed total silence to concentrate, Wooyoung had no problem focusing on you as the movie went onwards. Hands holding up your knees, he kept you in place while he pumped in and out of you. You looked over at him for a moment to see he’d removed his shirt and tugged down his shorts. He watched himself fuck you slowly, stretching your sex and filling you each time. You knew you weren’t supposed to acknowledge him, but you couldn’t stop yourself from whimpering. When he felt you looking at him, you turned your head to the laptop.

Two hands grabbed your chest, and he bent down to kiss and lick them while he kept his slow pace. You’d truly become a toy for him to fuck; a doll that fulfills his every whim. You loved it. Something about Wooyoung  having his fun with you while you remained indifferent to it turned you on. Soon, his hips snapped into yours quickly, his groans turning into grunts in each stroke. You tried not moaning, since you knew that was not part of this kink of his. You watched the movie, trying to pay attention to the parents finding their teenage daughter gutted and hanging from a tree. The movie moved onto Neve Campbell in her bedroom, typing at her old computer before her boyfriend came in through the window. 

Eventually, he withdrew and helped roll you onto your front. You wouldn’t lie: you quite enjoyed this position and they all knew that. They knew your body so well it was almost unfair. They never failed to pleasure you first during sex, and they knew they’d get a very nice favor in return each time. Straddling your thighs, Wooyoung spat on his tip and went back inside you. You nearly whined from how the new position had him touching your g-spot directly, and the force causing the bed to bump lightly against the wall. 

“Stay like that,” he huffed, returning to the same speed as before. “Just like that…”

You put your eyes on the laptop, but you barely paid attention to the screen. Wooyoung started bottoming up into you, and his weight kept you from pushing up to meet him. You purse your lips to keep back the mewls his long strokes created. How could he expect you to sit still while he took you this way? Your fingers dug into the soft pillow underneath you, clawing at the smooth fabric. You tried not showing any signs of pleasure, but you couldn’t help the need growing inside you. You badly wanted to push against him, pick up the speed and be the naughty, dirty slut he liked. But, this is what Wooyoung wanted, and you wanted him to enjoy himself too. 

In a few more thrusts, you felt Wooyoung stiffen against you. Falling forward, his forehead pressed right on the top of your head as he rode out his orgasm inside you. His damp breath tickled the back of your neck, and his moans drowned out any sounds from the film in front of you. Listening to him cum had your pussy clenching around him each time he sunk inside. Your need for release came almost painfully, the restraint being too much. When he dared to pull out, you immediately tackled him so he fell backwards on the opposite side of the fort. Wooyoung said nothing as you mounted him quickly and began riding him. 

“Someone couldn’t keep it together anymore, huh?” Wooyoung chuckled, holding onto your hips as you bounced on him. “My dick feels too good?”

“Way too good,” you whined, rolling your hips on him. You didn’t care if he’d already come, you knew he wouldn’t stop until you did too. “Play with my clit, Wooyoungie,” you said, “Make me cum, please?”

“Of course, angel.” 

Whirling his thumb around your clit and his tip prodding your g-spot again, you unraveled a few seconds later. Your body tensed in each orgasmic wave and you were soon clawing at Wooyoung’s chest from the force. Slowly, you fell from your climax as quickly as it arrived, and collapsed beside Wooyoung. A small pang of guilt made you frown. 

“Sorry,” you said to him. 

“About what?” he panted, looking over at you. 

“For not going through with the whole ‘free-use’ thing,” you replied. “I don’t know how porn stars do it, honestly.”

“You just need practice, baby,” he insisted. He rolled onto his side, and pecked your lips, “You still did so well. It’s not your fault you’re so…sensitive,” he smirked, pinching your nipple idly before kissing you again. “Trust me, I still loved it. Didn’t you?”

“I did,” you replied, turning on your side to face him. “We can always try it again later,” you suggested, “If you want to, that is.” 

“I wouldn’t be opposed to that,” he grinned, bringing you close to kiss you deeply. He paused for a moment, brushing your nose with his, and said, “I love you, YN.” 

“I love you too, WooWoo.” 

He chuckled at the nickname and you kissed once more. You briefly thought back to Mihee, who likely ended up alone after sex with her boyfriends. Not you. Your boyfriends would never leave you without smothering you in kisses first. 

They simply adored you too much. 

[lina-lovebug]

Tumultuous Waters

Ch.1

Orm Marius fanfic

Warnings: allusions to abuse and sexual assault

I have lived my life without love.

I never once felt affection for my husband, nor did I ever think what he held for me was pure.

He looked at me once and claimed me to be his, but my refusal came with denial. I was his from the moment he laid his eyes upon me, and no power on Olympus nor Earth could keep him from me.

Even when he lay with me, I prayed it would be over soon. I would watch above, hoping to be struck so that I wouldn't have to hear his grunts and feel his skin on mine.

This is the life of a wife to a God.

Yet I was able to find some happiness in our marriage.

I bore a son named Triton, who became King of the Seven Seas. He bore my eyes, which I took pride in. Of course I would never blame my son for the actions of his father, but I had sighed in relief when I saw that the only relation he held to Poseidon was his strength and hair color.

Then a daughter came, to whom I named Rhodos. I feared what Poseidon may do to a daughter of our own - which God's he would attempt to pawn her off to.

But she held a fire in her that he had burnt out within me long ago. Rhodos took charge of her love and future, and found happiness and love in Helios, the Sun God. When Aphrodite had cursed him to forget all of his lovers, including her, it was the first time I found myself marching up to her in rage.

And I punched the Goddess of Beauty.

I feared her retaliation, but instead, the Goddess laughed and smiled upon me. “Finally, someone who refuses to take my shit.”

We became great friends after she reversed the curse and Helios spent many centuries honoring my daughter.

But after my children made it clear that they now had their own lives, I was back to square one. I would spend days watching Poseidon drive his ego so far up his ass that he'd be grinning like he created the universe. Centuries seemed to be slow as I stopped fighting him, and became. . .lifeless.

I missed my family.

I missed the ocean.

But I was reminded that I'm not just Poseidon's wife. I'm a daughter of Nereus, and the third of fifty Nereids who created mermaids and sirens. We are shapeshifters and in the myths and legends for assisting sailors in their journeys across the ocean.

My son created Atlantis. He was proud of his kingdom, and was so delighted to show it to me. He had learnt from seeing his father that no one should rule a Kingdom on their own, but he elected a council to help him truly learn how to be a good ruler.

And he had children.

The Tritonides, similar to my sister's. Never once did a son come from his wife but he did not mind at all. I watched with pride as my son adored his daughters and doted on his wife, despite the lack of assistance and care from Poseidon.

Yet I could not stay in this kingdom.

For Poseidon commanded I return home.

For the next eight hundred years, I stayed in Olympus and found myself slipping again.

He was never faithful.

He was never kind.

He was cruel.

But he's a God.

And I can never be free of him.

I would only hear the news that my son's lineage had no longer been on the throne through Poseidon - who bragged about such a thing. He declared that a merman who had slain King Nero and Queen Athena had taken the crown because of corruption, and laughed.

Not only had our son's bloodline been slain, but his father dared to laugh.

I know I stand no chance in fighting him, but he was our son - our baby boy. So just as I had done to Aphrodite, I had punched him in the face and watched as his eyes turned sinister.

He hit me.

He didn't stop hitting me.

My eyes stared up at him as he prepared to take me, “you think this makes you a man? In all our years together, I have seen you as less than a spoiled boy. How disappointed our son would be if he could see this view.”

He left me with his limp excuse of a cock and I allowed my body to heal through the ocean water.

I had even hoped I would be able to drown.

But as the Queen Mother of the Seven Seas, I prepared myself. The puffy eyes and the bruises vanished as quickly as they appeared, and let Atlantis prepare themselves for their guest.

A permanent guest.

Taglist: @nanamiscunt @illegalcerebral @notasadgirlipromise @cozmicwonder

[maddiethedogstories]

Sarah's Playground - 6

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

As I looked up at my mother's smiling face, my lips rhythmically sucking without my consent, I was suddenly bombarded with a cascade of new memories of how my life was altered under the rules of Lidia's new reality.

I remembered...

Back when I was seventeen, I was so excited to get out of the house. My mother was always overbearing and overprotective. I wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. I wasn't allowed to go to sleepovers. I wasn't allowed to stay out past 9:00 pm. I wasn't even allowed to stay home by myself for extended periods of time. That's why Lidia became my long-term babysitter.

I had applied to colleges as far away as I could to get out from under my mother's thumb. I didn't want to be stuck at home under her tyrannical rules for longer than I could. Plus, under the new forced regression laws, I was more than a little afraid that my mom would concoct some story to have me demoted to being a perpetual middle schooler if I stuck around too long. Turns out, I should have been more worried.

I remember being ecstatic when I got into my first choice school, the Boston Institute of Technology. The school was prestigious, had the best engineering program in the country, and, best of all, was thousands of miles away from home. I'd be free to live my own life with my own rules.

When I told my mom, I could tell that she was less than pleased, but, like any good parent, did her best to pretend to be happy for me. She told me that despite as much as it was going to hurt to lose her baby, she couldn't help but be proud of how much I'd accomplished.

As my July birthday approached, things seemed to be proceeding as normal. We sent off my acceptance paperwork to BIT. We worked together to find the best dorm room. Mom was even there cheering for me at graduation where I was salutatorian. Everything was going great.

That was, until the weekend after my 18th birthday. Mom and I had a big celebration planned. We were going to get cake and balloons, decorate the house, then have a horror movie marathon, just the two of us. However, at the last minute, Mom had to cancel. There was, apparently, an emergency at work, and she had to fly to another state to deal with the fallout. I was disappointed, but understood. I let her know we'd just reschedule it for the next weekend. So, without a lot of fanfare, I helped Mom pack her travel bag and waved goodbye to her as she took off for the airport.

It was only 30 minutes later that I heard the knock on the door. I opened the door and, to my surprise, Lidia, my nemesis, was standing on the other side. She was carrying her pastel pink 'babysitting' bag, that I knew from experience contained everything she needed to force me to be her perfect little baby, on her shoulder.

"Hey squirt! Ready for a wonderful weekend with your fave babysitter?" She asked with that same dark smile she always had when she got a weekend alone with me.

"What? No! I am 18 years old, I don't need a babysitter. Fuck off!" I said, slamming the door in her face.

Lidia knocked again, but I refused to open the door. After a few minutes, I could hear Lidia on the phone with someone outside. Then, as Lidia's muffled voice went silent, my phone rang. I picked it up to see Mom was calling.

"Sarah Lynn Howard! What is this I hear about you slamming the door in that sweet girl Lidia's face and swearing at her? I thought you were almost an adult!" Mom immediately began tearing into me. I went on the defensive.

"Mom! She said she was here to **babysit** me. I'm 18 and heading to college across the country in a month and a half. I do NOT need a babysitter! I knew she had to be lying when she came over and said that!" I raged into the phone.

"Sweetie, she may not have needed to say it that way, but I am paying her to house sit and spend some time with you while I'm gone. You may be 18, but you're still living under my roof for now. I just don't trust that you'll be safe by yourself," Mom tried to reason with me. "Plus, I know how sad you were we had to cancel our party at the last minute, and I know you don't have a lot of friends. And you always seem to get along with Lidia so well. So I thought..."

"You thought what?" I asked, cutting my mom off, almost incoherently upset that my mom, who was so supportive and proud of me, STILL thought I couldn't be trusted by myself.

"I thought you could have a little party with her. I mean, I know Lidia isn't me, but, I couldn't stand the thought of you spending your birthday weekend alone baby girl," Mom said. She sounded so genuine and loving, so full of shame at bailing on me on my birthday, it cut right through my anger. I suddenly felt horrible.

"I'm sorry, Mom. Being 18, I'm just a little nervous about being, you know, demoted," I said, apologetically. "Hearing Lidia say she was here to babysit me just made me nervous, you know?"

"I understand baby girl. And you don't ever have to worry about demotion, love. I will always be here to protect and take care of you, you know that?" Mom said. I couldn't help but feel relieved at hearing those words.

"I know Momma," I responded, "I love you."

"I love you too baby, now, why don't you go let Lidia in. She is probably baking in the heat out there, and I am paying her to have a fun girl's weekend with you. You better go get the party started!" Mom instructed before saying goodbye and hanging up the phone.

I put my phone down, turned towards the door, and steeled my nerves before opening it. Lidia used to torture me as a kid, but I was an adult now. She wouldn't dare baby me like she used to, right?

I opened the door again to see Lidia leaning against the side of the house. At the sound of the door opening up, she stood up, took a step towards me, and cracked a disarming smile.

"Happy Birthday Kiddo! I knew you'd come around! Are you ready for a fabulous girl's weekend with your favorite... neighbor?" Lidia said, clearly stopping herself before saying babysitter again.

I plastered a fake smile on my face.

"Come on in! I'm sorry I was so rude. I am just sensitive about being demoted. It's happened to too many of my friends at school, you know?" I responded, ushering Lidia through the door.

"Oh, you're such a smart girl, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Plus, what were you always telling me back when you were a kid? You haven't wet the bed since you were thirteen," Lidia offered supportively.

I couldn't help but blush at being reminded of my bedwetting and, relatedly, my 'baby' weekends with Lidia. I closed the door as Lidia walked in.

"But, we're not here to think about you being a kid this weekend, we're supposed to celebrate your adulthood!" The 22-year-old beauty said.

I watched and flinched as she reached into her dreaded pink babysitting bag excitedly, expecting for her to pull out a dreaded giant diaper or pacifier. Instead, she pulled out two bottles of white wine. I could feel my eyes grow huge.

"Let's celebrate!" Lidia cheered.

NEXT CHAPTER

[imtrashraccoon]

The spicy chapter has arrived! I am not sorry for that one... I would classify this one as a sweet kind of spicy though, rather than a hot spicy if that makes sense.

@owl-bones

First Day, Previous Day, & Next Day.

Bad Sansuary: Horror - Pepper

Word Count: 2,201

"Okay, now we just need to add a teaspoon of pepper and combine everything," you said.

Axe nodded and went to rinse off his hands in the sink while you got the pepper container out of the cupboard.

For whatever reason, the lid was screwed on a lot tighter than you remembered and you struggled to get it off. Unfortunately, you applied a bit too much effort and the cap came off the jar suddenly. You fumbled the little glass jar and a bunch of pepper spilled out onto the countertop.

You couldn't help but sneeze, no doubt because of the mini explosion that sent the pepper into the air. Your nose was itchy and now your eyes were watering as well. So you tried to get away and back up a few steps, only to bump into Axe who was suddenly behind you. You gasped in surprise and he placed his hands on your shoulders to steady you.

"what was that?" he asked.

You wiped your eyes on your sleeve and sniffed to try and clear your nose again. "I accidentally inhaled some pepper and sneezed. I'm alright now though," you responded.

"that was adorable...do it again!"

You balked and glanced up at him in confusion. His singular red eyelight was at least twice the size it was normally and he looked absolutely enraptured right now.

"No? Sneezing isn't adorable, it's annoying at best..." you answered slowly.

He actually had the audacity to look disappointed that you couldn't sneeze on command. His eyelight returned to it's normal size pretty quickly though and you were momentarily fascinated by the implications of how that worked.

He sighed and let go of your shoulders. "too bad, it was small and cute...like you..." He had a bit of a mischievous look on his face all of the sudden and if you didn't like him, you would've gotten really annoyed that he had called you short, again.

You rolled your eyes and went to go clean up the pepper you'd accidentally spilled. "You're on thin ice, big guy..." you warned, although there was no real malice in your tone.

Axe didn't reply and you could feel him watching you while you measured out the required amount of pepper. Once you'd given the stew a quick stir and plopped the lid on, you turned on the pressure cooker so it would cook.

Turning to Axe, you placed your hands on your hips and smiled in satisfaction. "So, in a few hours, we'll have some amazing beef stew to eat. Thanks for your help by the way, it would've taken a lot longer by myself."

He nodded quietly but continued studying you. He kind of looked like he wanted to say something but wasn't sure if he should.

So, you decided to give him a little encouragement and placed your hand on his arm. "What's on your mind?" you asked gently.

He didn't say anything for a moment longer. His eyelight lingered on your hand before flicking back up to your face. Then, he took a step closer and practically scooped you up into his arms.

You let out a squeak of surprise and scrambled to steady yourself, with your hands finding purchase on his broad shoulders. Then, you realized that you were basically nose to nose with him and to your shame, you froze like a deer in the headlights.

He stared back at you and his permanent grin grew wider the longer he did so. The center slit in his eyelight expanded and contracted briefly until he seemed to make up his mind about something. He then proceeded to carry you into the living room and sat down on the couch with you in his lap.

You finally managed to recover and find your voice again. "Um, Axe...? What are you doing?" you asked in a small voice.

He blinked and his eyelight refocused on your face. He seemed to realize that you were a little uncomfortable and his cheekbones flickered with a cobalt blue glow.

He cleared his nonexistent throat and let go of you. "...sorry... i got carried away..." he murmured.

You sat back on your haunches slightly so you weren't as close and so you felt like you could breath easy again. "I'm not mad," you started to say. "You just scared me a little..."

His bonebrows furrowed with concern and he quickly looked away from you. "i didn't mean to scare ya... i just... i wanted to hold ya so bad..."

Well, now you were a bit torn. He looked so ashamed, like a dog caught stealing a bone, and you couldn't be actually upset with him. Still, he should've at least asked before just scooping you up like that.

You decided that you'd rather ignore how awkward this situation was and move on. He had apologized afterall and you didn't think he'd had any ulterior motives from what you could tell. There wasn't anything wrong with just holding someone you cared a lot about, as long as they actually wanted to at least. Well, you didn't mind snuggling up to him normally, so why not now?

"Did you want to cuddle then?" you asked.

Immediately, Axe's gaze locked with your own and he seemed to scan your face for any indication that you were messing with him. Finding none, he grinned and started to reach for you again, but hesitated.

"if you're sure?"

You rolled your eyes and decided to give him some more encouragement. Leaning in again, you wrapped your arms around his vertebrae and gave him a warm hug.

He barely hesitated for a second before encasing you in a bear hug of his own. You held each other for several long minutes before gradually relaxing your grip on each other.

At some point, Axe started to rake his claws very gently across your scalp. You let out a hum of contentment and nuzzled against his collarbone in response.

"your hair's really soft," he murmured. His phalanges ghosted over your shoulders before he added another small comment. "not quite as soft as your skin but still..."

"I guess so, at least compared to a guy like you who's made of bones," you remarked. "Although you make up for it since you're all soft on the inside."

"maybe..." He didn't sound like he fully believed you but he wasn't denying anything either.

Axe kept running his phalanges through your hair and softly scratching your scalp for several minutes. When he lost interest in that, he shifted you in his hold so that he could make eye contact with you again. After a few seconds of staring, he brought his hand up and gingerly ran his knuckles over your cheeks. He really did seem fascinated by the texture of your skin, how it seemed soft yet spongy at the same time, and how warm it was too.

"i... i really like ya..." he murmured.

You could feel your heart skip a beat and you blinked in surprise, wondering if you'd heard him correctly. He was staring intently into your eyes and had stopped touching you at the moment. You hadn't even known him long, maybe a few months at most, but it felt like you'd known each other for far longer.

You'd suspected for a while that he had feelings for you and now that you knew for sure, you felt rather hopeful. Maybe it was silly, but you'd started to wonder if the small crush you'd developed for him was something you should act on or not. The problem was that you were so different from each other, both physically and otherwise, and you knew there were things he hadn't told you about himself yet.

"You do?" you asked quietly.

He smiled and nodded, "yes, i have for a little while too."

You could feel your cheeks grow warmer the longer you retained eye contact with him but you didn't mind in the slightest.

"I really like you too..." You hesitated for a moment before asking, "Do you...like me like that?"

He tilted his skull in a questioning way and the corners of his smile twitched slightly. "like what?"

"Like..." Your blush grew more intense as you tried to figure out how to explain what you meant. "Sorry... Do you like me enough to...be interested in a relationship...?"

He chuckled quietly and moved some of your hair behind your ears before even trying to respond. "i am...although it's still a bit early for that, right?"

You knew he was right but you couldn't help wondering. Still, it was reassuring that he hadn't rejected the idea entirely. Maybe when you'd gotten to know each other better he'd reconsider.

"Ah, no, you're right..." you murmured and glanced away.

Axe hummed and leaned closer to you. When you looked up slightly, he pressed his skull against your forehead and wrapped his arms around you in a gentle embrace.

"you're a special human...but you'll have to forgive me for not sayin' yes right now. and i don't ever want to hurt ya...but there's some things i'm not quite ready to tell ya."

You slowly wrapped your arms around his shoulders and let him keep talking. It was disappointing, sure, but you were trying your best not to focus on his rejection too much right now. There was a first time for everything and being told "not yet" wasn't a bad thing considering everything you'd gone through.

"call me selfish all ya want, but i'd like to keep ya to myself and get to know ya a little while longer... i'm not used to domestic stuff like this, lil' chip..."

He finally pulled back slightly but continued maintaining eye contact with you. The edges of his single eyelight seemed fuzzy and his bonebrows were a little furrowed with concern.

You could feel the emotions he was going through just underneath the surface and for a moment, your own seemed rather insignificant in comparison. Here was a person who'd been through so much hardship and lost so many close friends to a tragedy he was powerless to prevent. Then there was you, a person who'd never actually struggled to have enough to eat and while you were certainly lonely, you'd never had to grieve over losing family or friends like he had many times over.

You would wait for him.

He was worth putting aside your selfish wants until he felt ready to say yes, however long that would take. You'd enjoyed his friendship so far anyways and you really hoped this conversation wouldn't make things awkward between you two. Spending time with him had become something you really looked forward to and helped you get through each boring work day. He was easily the best thing that had ever happened to you lately and there was no way in the world you were going to ruin this.

"In this instance, it's okay for you to be selfish, Axe. Besides, I wouldn't want to risk ruining this friendship by jumping into something before either of us are ready to. I'm glad I met you and I'm proud to count you as a good friend but if we decide anytime soon to become more than what we are now, I won't complain either."

He smiled and stroked your cheek in a tender way. "i'm glad i met ya too..." he murmured.

For a moment neither of you said anything else and just sat there studying each other. He seemed perfectly content to stare at you for hours and you wished you could know what went through his mind whenever he saw you. On the other hand, you generally hated maintaining eye contact for longer than a few seconds with people, but he was different. You really liked how expressive his eyelight was and how beautiful the deep red colour was.

"hey, uh, do you...?"

You made a questioning hum and tilted your head.

Axe seemed to get a little flustered and the blue glow grew darker while he struggled to find the words. "would you...? can we...?"

"You can just tell me what's on your mind, big guy..." you said.

"is it bad that i want to kiss you?" he finally asked.

You blinked in surprise and for a moment you didn't know what to do. You just knew you were blushing heavily the longer this moment went on but you needed to answer him.

"No? I don't mind if you do..."

He seemed surprised that you'd actually agreed and studied you for a moment. Then, he reached out and carefully cupped your left cheek, being mindful of his claws while doing so. He leaned closer and pressed his teeth against your lips in a careful but still tender kiss.

You hadn't known what to expect but it wasn't at all like kissing a human was like. It was gentle, simple, and kind of experimental. His bones were cool and dry to the touch, yet you could still feel the hum and warmth of his magic.

It was nice...

Axe pulled back slightly although he remained cupping your cheek for a moment longer. "you're really cute, ya know?" he hummed.

You chuckled softly, "You are too..."

[captain-mj]

Hear me out

Angel Graves being tempted by Demon Price :]

Hell yeah brethren, I can do that

This is rather short because I'm working on two longer things right now (both will be one part, they're just a bit longer and time consuming)

Price stared at his little prize, admiring the bright wings, the soft features and the plush looking ass. He shouldn't be so vulgar. Not with an angel at the very least. But how could it be helped when Graves walked around like that? In soft white robes that showed off way too much skin to be considered Godly. Price was in a nice suit at least, as proper for a demon.

Graves glowered down at him, wings up and defensive. "What are you doing?"

"Admiring you."

Graves scowled more and his wings quickly twisted to cover himself. "Your wretched eyes should not be gazing upon me."

"Then burn them out of my skull. I'll enjoy it." Price purred and Graves slapped him with one of his wings hard enough to wind him. Then he was gone with nothing more than a fluttering of feathers left behind. "Damn it."

They met again later. Graves had wandered on to Price trying to make a deal with a human and had cruelly prevented Price from doing so. It irritated him, making his tail twitch back and forth.

"You're evil. Taking advantage of that man." Graves pouted at him.

Price growled, watching the feathers start to stand on end. "It's my job. Something you should know about. Or do you just stand on clouds tempting mortals to the sin of lust."

Graves's face lit up gold and it took Price a moment to realize he was blushing. "I! I!! I do not tempt mortals to have lustful thoughts!"

"You certainly make me. Though, it's less a temptation and more of a need. The idea of losing myself in your flesh... Maybe it would make me more holy."

Graves disappeared again. Price could feel himself growing more irritated. He both wouldn't get a deal today (he wasn't even going to take the man's soul!!) and his angel left. Again.

Price was tenacious though. He tried again. He wore sluttier clothing with jewelry that hung around his neck and along his belt loops.

It caught Graves off guard to see him in such a state. The golden blush covered his face again. "What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're dressed differently."

"Yes. Different situations means different outfits."

Graves blushed brighter, face glowing ethereally. He raised a wing to cover Price right as it started to rain. "Ah. I do not see how this outfit is beneficial for this situation."

"I am tempting people to lust and covet. Shoving off my body does that easily."

"I felt the suits you wore did a perfectly good job showing off your body"

"So you looked?"

Graves went quiet, looking away. He kept them both from getting wet. "No."

Price laughed. "You did. It's okay. You're not sinning. Am I not also part of God's creation?"

"You're an abomination."

"Yes, but this body was crafted by God. Her loving hands."

Graves looked away, getting flustered. "I suppose."

"So it is not a crime for you to gaze upon me. I'd say it's encouraged."

Graves shook his head and continued to refuse to glance at Price.

"You know, how can you keep people from sinning if you have no clue what it feels like to indulge?"

"I do not need to know what it feels like to sin."

"But wouldn't it help you improve?"

Graves hesitated, looking at him cautiously. Then, he let his gaze wander over Price's body. He could see it. The beginnings of lust.

Water started to pour down on him when Graves disappeared. He looked around, trying to hide his disappointment. Reluctantly, Price went home.

Graves kept reappearing now. Never staying long. Just... lingering.

Price started to show off. Flirting with people. Exposing skin. Making himself more and more alluring.

Graves started to look more and more distracted. Until Price caught him off guard and managed to get his hands around him. His waist was perfect.

Graves gasped and his back arched. "Wait."

Price pulled him closer, the heat building between the two of them. "Give in to me. Let me pleasure you."

"I shouldn't."

"I know. But please. Let me be selfish."

"I... I can't I..." Graves broke off when Price brushed against his wings. He reached up and stroked them gently, causing pleasured shivers to run through him. Before Price could pull away, not wanting to do anything to Graves without consent, Graves pressed closer. "don't stop."

Price pressed back and started to tug gently at the feathers. More pleasure ran up Graves's body. He started to press against him more and continued to explore. Graves was deliciously reactive. Each brush and tug and press of his fingers breaking him down to nothing but sensations.

Price dragged him to the floor and put Graves's legs over his shoulders. While part of him would love to take his pleasure from Graves, to fuck him until he felt content, something about letting the angel just feel sounded enticing. He made sure his fingers were incredibly slick before he dared to try to press them into him. His mouth worked hard on Graves's cock, hollowing his cheeks and taking him all the way down until Graves squirmed and whined.

"Please. Please, sir."

Price moaned at the honorific, hips rolling against the floor as he pleasured himself.

Graves groaned and his back arched as he tried to get more. "Please. Oh, it's so good. So good."

Price hummed softly and felt Graves throb in his mouth right before he came.

He tasted sweet but it burned his mouth where it fell past his lips.

[its-a-dam-blue-brick]

Al Haitham x GN!Reader [hinted hanahaki au, slight angst to fluff]

"You're so mean, you know? If you hadn't looked at me like that, if you hadn't been so kind to me… to just me, maybe I could've kept on living unaware. Naive to this- this tightness in my throat, and swelling in my chest. You've always been so cold to everyone, but those small smiles you offer just me make my blood rush to my head. If I hadn't known your warmth, I could've kept my heart whole, but I can't. And I can't run away, either, because I love you, Haitham. My heart has chosen you to call its home. You are my home."

"I- can't," he choked, eyes wide with panic, "I just-"

"I know," they interrupted, a soft smile painted on their lips, "I'm just a little disappointed that I managed to delude myself to the point I actually thought you might like me back."

"I'm sorry," he raised his hand, stopping before he let himself cup his friend's tear-ridden cheek.

"Don't apologize," they stepped forward, pressing their forehead against his chest, hiding their tears from his sharp eyes, "that's not the type of person you are."

He let his outstretched hand drop gently onto their head, staring straight ahead.

"I almost wish you had been cold," a pitiful laugh, "it would have been easier. Though, I admit it would have hurt far more. I suppose I should thank you."

"Thank me?"

"For rejecting me so kindly. For giving me the chance to experience this wonderous feeling I used to ridicule. I'm happy I met you."

"Doctor?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Do you think, if I see him again, I could fall in love all over again?"

"Perhaps."

"How romantic."

"Are you ready?"

"As ever."

Al Haitham startled, after disappearing for two weeks, they'd suddenly reappeared in his path, humming along to a song only they could hear. It was a habit he hadn't even realized he had missed, the silence permeating his office more off-putting than it had ever been before. He called out, and they froze midstep, looking up like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

"Um... hi?" their voice pitched with nerves, "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

His eye twitched, and he decided to play along with their little game, "Of course, we're the best of friends after all. Don't tell me you've forgotten me so easily after all we've been through."

A blush tinted their ears pink, head sinking embarrassed into their shoulders, "Friend? Oh dear, I seem to have such an awful memory. This is so embarrassing."

He frowned, this was no longer just a joke, they had truly forgotten him completely. "No problem," he compartmentalized that upset for another time. Right now it was important he learn exactly what had happened in these past two weeks.

"Well," they hesitated, clearly trying to make up for their forgetfulness, "from your robes, I assume I know you from the Academiya. Are you a researcher?"

"Yes, that is how we met, however, I'm actually the Academiya's Scribe."

"Scribe?" His hands reached out on instinct to catch them, the shock of the revelation having caused them to trip over their own feet.

They chuckled nervously, pushing themselves off him gently, "Well, you can't blame me for making such a fool of myself. After all, I seem to have forgotten an attractive gentleman such as yourself."

"It can't be helped," he smiled wistfully, "you've always been quite a clutz."

"Have not," they grumbled, childishly. Then, turning back to him, "I'm actually quite graceful, it just so happens that beautiful people turn my knees to jelly."

"Well then," he held his elbow out for them to grab, "how about I take you to lunch so you can rest those jellied legs of yours."

"I think I'd quite enjoy that, old friend of mine," they took his arm, grinning widely, "and while we're at it, you can tell me how exhausting it must be to be such an important and gorgeous man."

"If you continue with this flattery, I may think you're only interested in my face."

"Not at all, your arms are quite nice, too."

Considering writing pt.2 of Al Haitham POV learning about the disease but I didn't even do very well on this part. The idea was much angstier in my head.

[luneariaa]

ღ || cigarett. { 𝐈 }

✰ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : lars alexandersson x reader.

✰ 𝐰. 𝐜. : 1k+

✰ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : due to the last failed mission, you got stressed out and is back to do one of your old habits. but then, lars gets into your view.

✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : not much proof-read. gn! reader, but having a female reader in mind. mentions of reader smoking due to stress ( i'm not a smoker myself so i hope i did this right somehow ); reader having a pretty troubled mind. but other than that, nothing much.

✰ 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 : this is supposed to be only a oneshot, but i got carried away, so i'm planning for this to have several more parts to come.

☁︎ : part 2.

. dividers by @/saradika !! 💫

Another failed mission. Just great. You already feel like you’ve messed it up– so much, lately. So often, in a way that causes you to consider leaving the rebel army for good.

Due to all of the mess, one of your bad habits just sticks with you, no matter how hard you try to fix yourself with it. It’s only been a few moments since you practically avoided the others; staying away completely from them as you tried to set your mind at ease, so you could at least manage to receive any proper scolding from the Commander that you knew yourself all too well. You deserve a good smack of words anyway.

But if he were to witness one of your bad habits right now– one that he has tried to nicely advise you back then–  he might get upset.

Fingers finding its way around the newly ignited cigarette, you gradually released the puff of smoke with a sigh.

That’s the thing. You weren’t supposed to smoke. If he were to find you in this state, he probably would be so disappointed, especially when you had made a promise with him that you’ll try to quit smoking.

The option to avoid him at all costs is more desirable the longer you stay out here.

Your head tilts slightly to the side, avoiding the smoke to come in contact with your eyes. Even being highly unaware that a certain, sandy brown-haired male has now set his gaze upon you from afar, mind full of thoughts. Perhaps, you were so busy, distracted within your own little world.

A light pull of your cigarette causes a startled gasp to elicit from you, breaking you out from your current muddled state of mind.

“That’s not healthy for you.. I thought you said you’d quit.”

And instead of an annoyed look whatsoever, his face is covered with gentle concern towards your wellbeing. Which is a tad bit unfair, from your perspective. Huffing under your breath once you regain your composure, you try your best to grab the cigarette back from his hand. “Hey, I almost finished that one..”

“And that’s why I took it away. It doesn’t matter if you’re close to finishing it, it’s still bad for you, regardless.” Lars sighs almost quietly, tossing the remaining used cigarette away somewhere on the ground, before stomping on it. “You should know that by now.”

You eventually just pout with pure disappointment painted upon your features, as he grabs the rest of the box away from you; swiftly avoiding any attempts of you trying to get it back.

“Don’t. I’m going to throw all of this away, for the sake of your whole being.” 

There’s a certain firmness in each of his words, yet there is also, in some way, a tone of care.

He means it well, you’re aware, so you have no choice but to accept his words and actions as it is.

Lars is so worried about you, and it makes you feel like a total ashamed failure yourself, even more when he sees you in this state. So, you mentally prepared yourself for anything that might happened next– 

Only for him to have his strong arms encircling around your form in a delicate, tender manner.

You were stunned for a few more moments, trying to comprehend everything that’s been happening within the span of short seconds. Somehow, he’s able to sense the sudden shift of emotion raging within you, even the way you decided to stay silent.

A soft sigh exhales out from him. “I know that you’re probably stressed over the latest mission, or even something else entirely. But know that you’re not alone, okay?” His hand finds its way to the back of your head, giving it a reassuring type of caress. 

“It’s not your fault, and people make mistakes. Me included.”

“No matter what anyone says, I’ll stay right here with you.”

The male didn’t expect you to give out any replies sometime soon, genuinely just wanted to offer you some comfort that you might have needed. He feels relieved once he feels that gradually, you return the gesture, keeping your face temporarily hidden on his chest.

“It’s kinda hard..” He hears you mumbling from his chest, holding onto him still.

“And that’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with experiencing those types of feelings, at least, for once in a while. But I never wanted you to keep it all to yourself if it ever becomes too much.”

“I just.. Don’t want to see you in a state like this.”

Lars tightened the hug ever so slightly, yet still tries to not cause any possible discomfort for you within his reassuring hold. “No matter how hard things may get, know that I’ll always be here for you.”

“You’re really willing to help me through this..?”

When he gradually released you from the hug, his eyes remained still on you– nodding firmly and with certainty. 

“Of course, I’m your friend, right? And it would hurt me whenever I see you like this.”

His fingers found its way to poke your forehead with an amused smirk, before you playfully swatted his hand away with a huff. “You’re lucky that I love you.” You mean it as a friend, cherishing each one of his given efforts and never getting tired of doing so. 

“And I almost forgot–” the Commander digs into his pocket to presumably grab something. “-- here. Chew this whenever you feel the need to smoke again. It should try to satisfy the urge, since the two are quite minty and fresh. Well– cigarettes aren’t that fresh though.”

You lightly chuckled at his words, not bothering to question on why he has the seemingly new and unopened pack of gum. You appreciated him, nonetheless. But it did leave him with an almost unreadable expression when your attention is not on him.

He asks within his mind. Do you ever notice the way your eyes light up whenever you speak with him; every time he tells you, or at least, attempts to joke with you? Do you ever know the way you smile is quite infectious to it, even when you can sometimes be so self-conscious about it? It’s always, and always the small details itself, and he’s proud to call you his work partner. His friend.

“You know..” His hand now gently pushes your head up to face him once more. “Your eyes are so pretty to look at. So, it would be a shame if all that smoking might damage them.”

You take your time with letting his words sink in, and giving him the further opportunity to add more to his words.

“I don’t know, but for me, eyes are one of the most attractive features that one can have. It’s the window to the soul; at least that’s what I kept hearing back then.”

“I never wish to see it being tainted in a way, the same goes to your whole being.”

It made you think for a split second. Out of the blue, you feel the sudden embarrassment beginning to creep in due to all of the eye contact; moving your head away elsewhere, trying your best to hide the smile from forming even further.

“You always have your own way with words.”

He laughs humorously, ruffling your hair with a small, yet apparent smirk. And you couldn’t help yourself, but to reciprocate the gesture as well.

Do you know how much he adores the way you laugh? You may not know or not notice anything, but he knows for sure– always so certain with his way of words to you.

“Lars, thank you, truly I do.”

“I won’t mess up our next mission. I’ll try my best with it, for you.”

But the promises fell short when the mission caused an even bigger mess than intended.

@luneariaa do not repost; reblogs are alright. all rights reserved.

[tia-amorosa]

🌴Lucky Palms🌴

Marisol & Clark - The News (Part 2)longer Part

Later. Clark drove home with Marisol. There were too many people in the park. When she arrived at his house, she greeted his bandmate Oscar, who was sitting in front of the TV with a stomach ache. then she followed Clark to his room. He closed the door behind them and took a few steps. "So, are you going to tell me now what's going on?".

Marisol was nervous, even on the drive to the house she hardly said a word "Maybe you should sit down first, okay? Like I said earlier, it's because of the this night, after the concert… at the motel"/ "hey, it's all o.k.,… Isn't it?". She shook her head and made a quick hand gesture. "Just sit down, okay?"

Clark walked slowly to his bed. Then he sat down on it without taking off his shoes, which he often did, and nobody got upset about it. "I know, it all got a bit out of hand that night, we were in a good mood… It was good to talk about old times again…".

She looked to the side and recalled the events of the evening .. "Yes, that was it… And there was a lot of melancholy and alcohol involved, I didn't really want to drink that much and go home after the concert… But you invited me backstage and I hadn't talked to the boys for a long time… The evening should have been different at all".

"Donnovan?". She nodded slightly and then looked to the other side. "Yes, he wanted to spend the evening with me." Clark took a deep breath . "Was he pissed off?"/ "No, he knew we hadn't seen each other for a while. But… Clark, we went too far.". He tilted his head and looked at her. "Sweetie, we had a nice evening with pleasant conversations… We got sentimental, we both got high on alcohol and the boys left early. Then one thing led to another…Did you tell him?".

"I wasn't actually planning on it and wanted to keep it to myself.". She smiled a little and her gaze was a little dreamy. "As you said, the conversations were pleasant, and so was your closeness. Yes, and then…". Clark cleared his throat briefly and then continued… "don't worry about it, okay? Nothing else happened… right?". She was silent for a moment. "Not quite… I'm pregnant, Clark…".

Clark looked at her, shocked and open-mouthed, "No…". She just nodded, no expression on her face. "shiit, and you think…"/ "There's no question about it, Don and I, we'd been paying extra attention because it was too early for kids…"/ "Crap…". Usually Clark always thought of condoms when there were women backstage after the gigs. "And now?".

Marisol sighed shakily. "I want to keep the baby, Clark. The only question is how you feel about it. I talked to Don about it yesterday"/ "I see… and what did he say?"/ "He's disappointed. But more about the fact that the child isn't his." Clark stroked his hair. "hh… Me and a father, you know I can't do this, and it is really bad timing…". Marisol rubbed her hands over her thighs "you're going on tour in a few days… I know"..

Clark looked at her a little desperately. "And otherwise… kids… I can't handle it… Really, I… It's too much right now…". Marisol looked at him with tears in her eyes and forced a smile. Clark had never intended to have children before. Then she stood up. "I know… I'll send you a picture, okay? You don't have to look at it now, but maybe later… I already knew what was coming. I'm not making any demands either…"/ "sweetie…"/ "I'd better go now…".

The two have often talked about how they each envision their future. And Clark often said that his career as a musician was important to him and that a relationship and children therefore had no place in his life. They were friendly, open conversations in which both made their points of view clear and the other showed understanding for them. Marisol got up and went to the door. "All good?"/ "mh… Yeah, sure, I'll be fine".

After she closed the door behind her, Clark dropped onto his bed. Because for him, the whole thing was more than just unexpected news…. "Shit, man… Why… why is this happening now of all times? Damn! You should have just said something right away, you idiot…" he said to himself.

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Later that night, just before two o'clock. Clark had to get up because his bladder was bothering him. When he came back, he didn't go straight back to bed. He looked out of the window, then his eyes went to his smartphone, which was lying on the bedside table. And he remembered that Marisol had sent a message. He took it, opened the message… "Oh… man…". It was a photo of Marisol's ultrasound scan.

Clark stared at the picture and realized how his throat suddenly went dry. All the liquid shot up into his eyes. "Shit, Marisol… What do I do now? You have… no idea at all. And the tour has been planned down to the last detail for months. I thought I needed this time out…".

Clark's thoughts were on a rollercoaster. "I wanted some distance… Now I'm not so sure if it's the right thing to do… Maybe a few days… Weeks… Until the most important things are done, and then… I really need to talk to Oscar and the others…"….

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@cozygirlsimmer😗😊

End of this Part…

Many thanks again to @nocturnalazure for the link to l-sims' poses :) they were very helpful and inspiring, I was even able to use more of them, many thanks also to l-sims for these great poses! (Unfortunately I don't know what your current Tumblr account is, otherwise I would have linked you 😊). Other poses by: @poses-by-bee , blams, and other creators whose names I unfortunately can't remember right now. Thank you for your work.^^

[strlingsav]

Alone: Three

– Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader

Against all reason and sound judgement, you agreed to meet Simon. A public place, a short conversation; nothing more. You'd told him that, that you didn't owe him anything and didn't want anything from him; even if your body betrayed you, even if your heartbeat picked up when you saw him, even if your stomach fluttered when he gave you a soft smile as he slid into the booth.

His eyes were shadowed beneath the dim, yellow hue of the overhead light, lifting to look at you.

The café was quiet, settling down as the sun began to set. You'd finished work, purposely choosing a spot in which you could safely and quickly return home in the event of disaster.

You weren't sure why you were so adamant that things were going to go wrong; your pessimistic outlook, maybe your previous experiences with unstable men. Regardless, you liked Simon. Genuinely. Johnny liked Simon. So, you gave him a shot- a fair shot.

"You have a good day?" He asked, hands clasped together, leaning back uncomfortably in his seat.

"It was alright," You answered. "What did you want to talk about?" You sipped the still-hot coffee you'd ordered, far too late in the evening.

Simon's brows furrowed, before he pursed his lips with understanding.

"I'm sorry."

"You've already said that," You raised your brows.

"I'm sayin' it again."

"I appreciate it."

"Think you should know, you scare the bloody piss out o' me."

You squinted your eyes, quirking a brow at his words.

"I scare you?"

He sighed, "How y'make me feel."

You nodded slowly, beginning to comprehend exactly what he was getting at.

"Was tryin' t'leave you alone," He leaned in. "But- Christ, I can't get you outta my head."

You sat back, your eyes searching his for even a flicker of dishonesty.

"Why were you trying to leave me alone?"

"I don't do this," He said, his gaze burning into you. "Haven't felt this, before," His head hung down, before he raised it to find your eyes. "The last thing I wanted was to fuck it up- t'hurt you. I'm fuckin' terrified I'd hurt you."

You were at a crossroads. You wanted to dive in headfirst and see where it took you, what kind of life you could have with him. But, you also wanted answers. More than what he'd offered you thus far.

"I can take care of myself, Simon."

"I know y'can- but Johnny's on my arse. Couldn't disappoint the both of you."

"And you know you'd disappoint me?"

He nearly chuckled, "I've got a way of fuckin' shite up."

"Sounds like an excuse."

He set his lips, firmly pressed together as he looked you over.

He sighed, "S'pose it does, but I didn't ask you here for that." He leaned in again, hands resting on the table. "Just can't forget about you. You're stuck in my fuckin' head."

Your eyes met his, your expression full of contemplation as you scanned his face.

"Thought it might be worth givin' a shot- if you'd have me."

You swallowed.

It had never been so tempting to climb into his lap and devour him, but you knew you couldn't give in so easily. He had to work for you, your time.

"One date," You said. "We'll see how that goes."

He leaned back, slow and satisfied. A short nod was all he gave, aside from a quiet, 'alright'. He was hiding the excitement, but not well enough- you noticed the curve of his lips.

—

He'd chosen a small, family-owned restaurant not far from your place. He'd met you at your door, and walked with you until you were seated across from each other in an isolated booth.

You'd ordered, made small talk, the usual routine of a first date. It was pleasant, but awkward- it wasn't like you hadn't spent time together before, but a romantic setting felt all too real. It was intentional, no longer something you could pass off for an 'in the moment' interaction.

"You're makin' me exhausted with the way you're thinkin'," He said finally, his hand around a pint of beer.

"Sorry," You smiled faintly. "Feeling a bit out of place, I guess."

He furrowed his brows, "Y'don't like it here?"

"No, no," You said, clearing your throat. "It's a nice place. But this feels forced, like you're punishing yourself for not calling." You couldn't meet his eyes, not when you were being so embarrassingly honest, giving up control of the situation.

"I was, still am," He said. Your eyes lifted to his, disappointed with his answer. "But I meant what I said."

"Which was?"

"I can't get you outta my head."

You inhaled deeply.

"Feel bad about it as is, but that ain't why I wanted to take you out."

"Why did you want to take me out?"

"Thought I told you," He quirked a brow, hunching his shoulders as he leaned in on his elbows.

"You did," You nodded. "I just like hearing it."

He pursed his lips, sniffing softly, before his eyes met yours with an unwavering intensity.

"I can't stop thinkin' about you."

Your cheeks must've been tinged-red as heat crept over you, washing away every ounce of your appetite and instead focusing in on him.

"That's it?"

He grinned. "And your arse."

You laughed, your head falling forward as you bit back a toothy smile.

"You're disgusting," You giggled.

"Think you like it," He answered, now smiling himself.

"Maybe," You shrugged. "But I'd never tell you."

"Don't have to, I can see it on your face."

"You're getting cocky," You bit your lip, falling back against the booth.

"You like that 'bout me, don't you?"

"Again- I'd never tell you."

He waved you off, sitting back to watch you. He liked you- liked your smile, your eyes. Liked that you didn't take his shit. You forced him to fix things, not for his sake but yours. You deserved better than what he'd done, and he wanted to give that to you. To at least try.

He hadn't expected to feel that connected, attached, already. From casual meetings to taking you on a date- which wasn't something he'd done since before joining the service- but he liked it. He liked ordinary life with you. Doing the things he thought he couldn't, with you.

He'd prod you with questions of your childhood, meeting Johnny, your work- standard conversation, but more natural, this time. Now that things were out on the open, it flowed well. Like you'd known each other for years. It was easy to talk to him, you didn't feel pressured to answer in a way you thought he'd understand.

He paid attention, didn't let his gaze leave you for even a minute, entertained you with stories of his own involving Johnny and the embarrassing antics he got up to when they'd been deployed together.

You genuinely enjoyed yourself, and were disappointed when dinner came to an end. You could see why Johnny spoke so highly of him. He was funny, kind- even if he'd left you in the dark for a day or two. You could forgive it, forgive him. You knew how difficult it could be to trust someone, to let yourself feel vulnerable with someone.

He walked with you back to your apartment, standing outside your door with his hands in his pockets, watching you unlock your front door.

You stopped just inside, holding it open, your heart pounding against your rib cage, your eyes lifting to meet his gaze.

"You wanna come in?"

Of course, he nodded. He accepted, without a trace of hesitation.