#This song reminds me that the universe is as awesome and beautiful as it is scary and ruthless.

[crybabydraws]

Space is Cool, that Markiplier remix by Shmoyoho, has given me such joy on this lovely night. The world is good. The universe is good. People are good. I feel home.

[shy-sapphic-ace]

List of queer books I read, loved & recommend!

(There isn't any particular order, I wrote these as I remembered them)

Master Of One - Jaida Jones & Dani Bennett (mlm, fantasy, very cool worldbuilding and magic system, funny, cool characters)

Legends & Lattes - Travis Baldree (wlw, fantasy, very soft & chill vibes)

The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon (wlw, high fantasy, cool worldbuilding, kinda reminds me of LOTR but with more dragons and feminism and lesbians)

Even Though I Knew The End - C.L. Polk (wlw, supernatural noir, cool 1930s detective story with angels & demons, I loved this one!)

The Love Interest - Cale Dietrich (mlm, science fiction, very cool concept)

The Darkest Part Of The Forest - Holly Black (side mlm, fantasy, cool fae lore)

The Weight Of The Stars - K. Ancrum (wlw, not quite science fiction but space stuff is involved, lovely and complex characters)

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe - Benjamin Alire Sáenz (mlm, fiction, very nice in general, there is also a sequel)

The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue - Mackenzi Lee (mlm, historical and vaguely fantasy, nice story but I preferred the sequel honestly)

The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy - Mackenzi Lee (wlw, the sequel to the one before, more fantasy elements than the first, asexual main character!!)

Gallant - V.E. Schwab (no romance, but in the background one of the characters(?) uses they/them pronouns, very cool dark fantasy vibe)

Stranger Than Fanfiction - Chris Colfer (gay main character, trans main character, coming-of-age, nice book)

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda (yes it's the Love, Simon book, mlm, fiction, pretty nice)

They Both Die At The End - Adam Silvera (mlm, sci-fi ish but mostly fiction, cool ideas, but the ending is sad! Very amazing book though, I haven't read the prequel yet)

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - Taylor Jenkins Reid (wlw, bi main character, historical fiction, cool story, just a neat book in general)

This Is How You Lose The Time War - Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone (wlw, sci-fi, very cool time travel stuff!! and very beautiful, it felt like reading poetry most of the time)

One Last Stop - Casey McQuinston (wlw, background trans & pan & queer characters, sci-fi or fantasy idk, but time travel, I loooved this book, great)

The House In The Cerulean Sea - TJ Klune (mlm, fantasy, THIS BOOK oh my gosh you should read it!!, just cute and lovely and good)

Under The Whispering Door - TJ Klune (mlm, fantasy, this book is also sooo amazing, great character development and awesome relationships and stuff, it's been a while since I read it but it was so good)

In the Lives of Puppets - TJ Klune (mlm, ace main character!!, sci-fi, now THIS is found family, oughh feelings. argh, tj klune you’ve done it again, a human and his family of funky robots… I love them)

And They Lived... - Steven Salvatore (nblm, fiction, about gender identity and learning to love yourself, read it a while ago but it was very nice)

I Wish You All The Best - Mason Deaver (nblm, fiction, about finding your identity and people who care about you, very cute and sweet)

The Song Of Achilles - Madeleine Miller (mlm, historical, very good in general)

Carry On - Rainbow Rowell (mlm, background wlw in the third book, fantasy, it's a trilogy, basically Harry Potter if it was gay and also better)

Silver In The Wood - Emily Tesh (mlm, fantasy, very pretty, lots of fae stuff and lovely descriptions, it has a really good sequel too)

Pretty much anything by Alice Oseman (all cute and lovely and great, though I've only read Radio Silence so far I hear only good things, Solitaire is on my to-read list)

I Kissed Shara Wheeler - Casey McQuinston (wlw, fiction, it's been a while but I liked this book)

The Falling In Love Montage - Ciara Smyth (wlw, fiction, this book was so cute and funny and deeply emotional it made me Feel way too many things, I'd definitely recommend it)

What Big Teeth - Rose Szabo (a bit of queerness all around, fantasy, werewolves and monsters, this one was pretty cool!, lots of original ideas for the world/character building)

His Quiet Agent - Ada Maria Soto (mlm, asexual, fiction, about like spies but this book was so gentle and sweet I wanted to cry in the best way possible)

Some By Virtue Fall - Alexandra Rowland (wlw, historical fiction(?), theatre drama!! rival romance!! duels!!, a very good read in general)

Don’t Want You Like a Best Friend - Emma R. Alban (wlw, historical fiction, I’m not usually one for regency romances, but I really liked this!!, very cute and lots of drama, and there’s a sequel coming out soon!)

[mgnifique-tion]

— worlds apart.

summary || ``sometimes, genuine love isn’t enough for two to let things stay the same.``

pairing: 2012-2013!loki x gn!scientist!reader song recommendations: love you with all my heart – crush lowercase is intended… » part 1 | part 2

— themes and warning/s: angst yet slightly happy ending (?) somewhere in the middle, forbidden love, thorki happy ending (brotherly,, i can't believe i have to put brotherly in this one)

— a/n: finally, the last part is finished! this took me a while to post bc haha, i graduated and got a job (GOAT fr) 🎓 and idk, i'm not really awesome w the time management (un-GOATified) and i also wasn't happy with my first draft of this so i had to write a whole new second half 😭 but ig if you guys want the other - much happier ending, you can boost this up to 20 reblogs (that would be very great!! thx!! 🤘) and i'll post it right away bc it's already written anyway!!

— edit: check out the song rec,,, it’s magnificent. idk what koreans ate to make good OST 😭 + there's a noticeable timeskip from when loki returned to asgard and his imprisonment there + it was also before frigga's passing :(

[ total words: 2.5k ]

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───── ❝ ❞ ─────

loki left...

but at what cost?

now, you were standing in front of him while he was locked away in the cell provided by s.h.i.e.l.d. and he glared at you coldly, just like how he looked at you the first time. but right now, loki’s mind couldn’t unwrap around the fact that you had turned him in… or at least, that’s what he thought happened since he’s known betrayal far worse than everyone else, not even thor.

“loki.” you placed your palm against the glass as he looked away, a frown plastered over his face as a scowl escaped his lips. he really thought you were set apart from all the humans who were terrified of him, the humans who had surrounded him, and the humans who fired weapons stronger than bullets at him.

but in the end, you were still human… and he hated it badly. “you betrayed me,” loki spoke out, “... you don’t know the extent of your power, do you?”

and those first three words he uttered broke you. how could he think you betrayed him? for god’s sake, you’ve kissed him without thinking twice! you’ve followed his rules without complaining! you’ve eaten a midnight meal with him on the top of a mountain and talked to him about the little girl you failed to save… your little sister.

why on earth would he think that you, out of all people, have turned into a traitor?

“loki,” you said his name once more but in a softer manner, “look, you’re not seeing this right. i would never turn you in–”

“i am seeing it clearly.” he grunted, still not looking at you. he couldn’t dare to look at you after that godforsaken kiss; so heavenly to feel but so hellish to remember. “y/n, i–,” he had to cut himself off, knowing that he’s just called you by your name. the name that every friend would address you by. the name that would remind him that there was this closeness between both of you at one point.

for a short amount of time, he’d want to spend more with you but the universe had told him it was too big of a risk. “... i shouldn’t have set you free… i never expected you to be in front of me right now,” he solemnly whispered, now knowing the consequences of falling for a human. after all, how unethical would it be for a god to fall for some earthly creature? 

he found you beautiful in so many ways that he just couldn’t let himself not feel your lips, his mind overly consumed by the imagination of just taking you, claiming his place in you, and turning you as the right hand to his throne.

having you by his side; that was his fantasy. an everlasting one. 

and this fueled his rage even more against his older brother, who could love a human while he had to be kept in this cage, desperately reaching his hands out to you while the windows shielded you from him as if he was some beast; only allowed to watch but never touch. “you’re mine!” he growled loudly, now staring into your eyes while his fist banged against the glass, making you flinch. “... you were supposed to be mine.” 

as selfish and ridiculous as he may have sounded, saying those words broke him. it shattered him. the truth will always shatter the wall of lies he’s made for himself.

when you thought this situation couldn’t get any worse, you heard thundering footsteps from behind, almost as if it was approaching you. on the other side of the glass, loki’s eyes darkened, a familiar smirk creeping up his face like he’s worn a mask. “... so, you’ve taken l/n away from me as well? how generous.” the god of mischief’s voice was mixed with bitterness and disguised wrath as you turned around and saw the storm’s mighty warrior. 

“listen, brother,” thor called his name with a hint of hope, “that doctor did not turn you in, they just wanted to pay you a visit.”

of course loki didn’t believe him. in fact, loki couldn't; the god of mischief had been lied to many times before he turned his back against those same liars. “if they hadn’t turn me in, then why am i here? why are they not with me? why are they standing next to you outside of this room!?” jealousy seeped into the cracks of his mask, the reality of his emotions destroying himself.

he couldn’t bear seeing his brother standing next to you. “because you’re a criminal,” you spoke up, breaking the silence after loki just shouted at thor’s face. taking another step closer to the glass, you stated, “loki, you’ve taken me hostage and you kissed me–”

“no, you kissed me,” loki claimed.

“because you told me to!” you clarified.

“and you desired it.” he insisted.

while both of you fought, thor stood right beside you with a rather awkward stance, forced to listen to his younger, fucked in the head brother express how much he wanted you to be his. needless to say, it was an unpleasant discussion to witness all in real-time. “enough!” roared the mighty god of thunder, catching both of your attention at the speed of lightning.

but the argument didn’t stop there. “you tell me that i left an effect on you but you’re so full of yourself that you wouldn’t let this go.” and anger found you at that moment, showing loki all the consequences of his actions; what world domination led him to. 

“... my god, loki,” you uttered hopelessly, “you know you don’t have to do this. it never had to be like this.”

in those hours you’ve been around him, you knew that you weren’t the only one controlled by such power. his every move had to be right – had to make the plan progress or else, all things fail and by now, you’ve already noticed that loki so despised it.

loki so desperately didn’t want to bring the whole order down.

“please, your brother is willing to give us a chance–”

“if this is an attempt to persuade me to stop, you’re not doing so well at all.”

of course loki wasn’t quite fond on hearing about what his brother thought about the two of you. he couldn’t care less about him anymore; whether he truly wanted it or not, the plan will push through. 

this world will be molded in his hands and his horns will be everyone’s crucifix. 

so, you tried one more time. “... you already have power over me,” you admitted, your voice trembling in shame and pride. thor, who now stood behind you, couldn’t bear listening to this but he couldn’t help but think that his brother was turning you down over his ruling despite needing clarity that all he needed was love. “is that not enough?”

and there was coldness after the fire, filling in the entire room as you waited. there wasn’t enough patience for loki anymore but you kept on holding on because you had to. if this was the only way you could persuade him to stop all of this, then you had to do it.

if you couldn’t save her before, maybe you could save the people she’s left behind.

but there was no response as the alarms had gone off. agents from around the area had already told the rest of the avengers that dr. banner had turned into the emerald beast and you just had to be kept away from loki’s cell to prevent further damage yet what they didn’t know was that loki had given you a promise: that not even a finger from him would leave a bruise on your skin.

a promise that he continued to stand by even if it’s too late.

“forgive me, doctor.” he closed his eyes for a moment, letting his sorrow sink deeper into his hardened heart. soon, his irises stared into his open palm, determination floating above his guilt. 

“but this can’t be stopped.”

not even an hour later, his cell opened and chaos ensued in the rest of manhattan. creatures from other worlds led, buildings – new and old – fell, and the six were united and formed to defend the planet while the people genuinely thought that the end of the world had come for them; all because of the god with that damn scepter.

unfortunately, he ended up receiving a sentence from his father.

“you have a visitor.” the gentle voice of the woman who stood next to you called onto him. the god was facing away from the window, which exposed him to the other prisoners. those who have been imprisoned just like him no longer treated him with respect; after all, how could the son of odin do such a thing?

yet that was the entire problem: he was not odin’s son. not anymore. “a visitor?” he laughed at the idea of it, believing that no one would dare to visit him at this point. even for him, it was a surprise that his mother was doing that exact thing now after everything that happened.

he never meant to make it this far.

all he wanted was to end his pain but in return, he brought it to everyone.

“and who would that be, mother?”

“... a friend of yours. from midgard.”

the moment that damned planet was mentioned, he lifted his head from the floor, slowly turning around. his pupils dilated at the sight of you standing next to his mother as hundreds of questions broke into his mind. but one question remained unanswered: how on earth did you reach asgard?

“... you.” his gaze, voice, and demeanor softened. the idea of you visiting him in an outer space prison was weakening his cold heart on the spot. 

his mother stared at her son before shifting her gaze at you, giving you a small nod. “i’ll leave you both alone. thank you for visiting him…” she thanked you, taking the steps further away from you, the glass, and her imprisoned son after you returned her with a smile. it was the first time in months that loki had actually looked at someone with vulnerability showing in every crevice of his whole being.

carefully, you went up the short steps of the stairs in front of the glass, walking closer to him as you watched him do the same. “... your brother allowed me to pay you a visit,” you spoke, earning yet another one of those sarcastic laughs he always had. 

“oh, i don’t believe you,” he stated blatantly, “thor would never allow such a thing–”

“it was because he found me crying… about you.” you interrupted him, which silenced him right away. after his sentence had been announced around the headquarters, it felt as if a piece of your heart went missing, a void just forming right there. you never planned to visit him; what he did to manhattan was horrible, the entire world could’ve been put at stake if the black order continued.

but thor insisted after hearing you cry alone in your respective office.

“... well.” he shrugged, chuckling at the thought of it. “it’s unsurprising that he wanted you to see me like this,” he expressed as he looked at how much of a mess he was already, his palms resting against each other before placing them both behind his back. “... was it to embarrass me? in front of you?”

you shook your head and told him sternly, “no.”

he was yet taken aback once more, tilting his head to the side in confusion. he’s always believed his brother would only allow things to interact with him if it’ll shame him to the fullest. shame him for all the things he’s done. all the harm he’s caused.

“are you…” he paused, his throat drying up in anxiety. “... are you ashamed of me?”

it was rare for the god to ever ask someone that question. loki’s already made up his mind: he’s unloved, uncared for. a cunning, manipulative being who played with his subjects, leaving no room for regret in his heart.

but for the first time, he felt afraid of what you felt about him.

because all he wanted to be was to be next to you. to feel you. 

to hold the soft palms of your hands in his and never let them go ever again.

and again, you shook your head and placed your palm over the glass. “i could never be ashamed of you even if i wanted to,” you responded softly as loki’s breath hitched. “... but the things you did– they are… just… wrong...” you didn’t dare to say more as you watched how despair filled his gaze, his approaching hand further away from the glass as if he couldn’t see himself being with you. loki, in this very moment, was forced to swallow and embrace the truth – that the idea of you and him will always remain an idea because of what he did.

so, you’ve lowered your palm, too.

loki turned his back and walked away, his mind taken over by regret. if only he had met you differently, things wouldn’t have been like this. if only he hadn’t been so angry at his known family for keeping such a secret from him, you would’ve been his. if only things had been different, you could’ve been in his embrace right at this very moment.

but he knew that none of those would matter. “you should go.” the god denied himself of this privilege, which was something you didn’t want as you shook your head. you swore to never leave him; not in this state at least.

“and please,” he begged breathlessly as he kept his head down. “... live happily for me.” 

and the entire hall fell silent again. even the others seemed tense, listening to the words exchanged by both you and the god. 

“but i want to stay… i still love you.” those were the only words that could come out of your mouth at the moment, protesting hopelessly. 

“... it’s too late.” his voice trembled at the mention of it and before you could say anything back, his brother entered, catching your attention. with a single nod from him, you knew that it was best to follow the avenger instead of staying longer. after all, you were not part of their world… and neither should loki be a part of yours.

the god’s gaze lingered on you as the moment you were gone, he closed his eyes shut for a while until he realized that thor watched him. “what? are you glad that this happened? glad that i pushed them away for them to be finally free from this? for them to be happy?” loki snapped, scoffing at his brother’s observant glare. in response, thor just sighed deeply, slightly leaning against the glass.

“you do truly love them… if you want, i'll watch them for you. i’ve never expected you to love a human since you weren’t fond of the idea.” it took loki a long pause before he knew that his older brother really was willing to protect you from danger as long as he’s in prison because somehow, they both knew that he’ll escape someday. 

and for the first time, his lips curled into a tiny smile. “thank you… brother.”

[rise-my-angel]

No but like. You have a point with the credits. It just comes off as lazy. My guy, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer spinoff had it's own opening and probably didn't have a crumb of budget compared to hotd

Oh my god that comparison is perfect to what my point was, you are a genius

The theme song to Angel is so good, it's not as much of a banger as Buffy the Vampire Slayer's, but it is great on it's own, and it has it's own unique identity that feels appropriate for the different vibe of the show. So, I really was expecting a different theme song for hotd.

I mean, think of Game of Thrones. The music for Dany's scenes all had a different sort of vibe to it, only twinged slightly depending on whatever city in Essos she was near that had a different culture to explore. And her music was already really good, and I liked that it was very different then say the Stark music or the Lannister music. It made it stand out when you hear it, giving the Targaryean character's music it's own audible Targaryean identity.

I was sort of expecting something along those lines, not just, the same one as the other show. I mean I get it, by using the same theme it connects the two shows together, but like you said, Angel had a different theme then Buffy and it was awesome and I never needed to hear the Buffy theme to remember that I wasn't watching Buffy. I knew it was set in the same universe without the same theme song, because the musical team on that show understood that I was not a one year old who still slaps my hand into my food instead of eating it.

I just really love analyzing the music for Game of Thrones, I think Ramin Djawadi put so much thought and passion into making the music so memorable and distinct. I mean when the Stark theme started to play at the season 2 opener of hotd, I immediately got hit with those feelings because the Starks music is so distinct and holds such an emotion value. So it worked in a very small dose like that to introduce us to the setting we found ourselves suddenly in, but it didn't overstay it's welcome where it got to be too key jangling. It knew there when to pull back, but still, that was the show using Game of Throne's music to it's advantage, it was nothing unique to hotd.

But I really struggle with the music for House of the Dragon. Not a lot of it feels distinct, and I know that most of the story takes place in the same locations with very similar people who do not need distinct music, but there feels like a lack of individuality here. It doesn't stand out, it's not memorable.

The music that plays in season 1 episode 2, when Jon is saying goodbye to Bran at his bedside in front of Catelyn, is actually one of my favourite scores of all time since the first time I ever heard it. It is beautiful and it reminds me of that scene and the Starks everytime I listen to it.

I just think the lack of a unique opening theme for House of the Dragon is indicitive of the show's lack of a musical identity, in comparison to Game of Thrones, which used it's musical scores in such a brilliant way that is rare for a television show.

Also, again to end on a petty note for bad comedy, I still watch seasons 1 through 5 of Game of Thrones and the theme song still makes me excited because the show attached is still up to that music's quality (season 5s quality is only held up by the Jon plot and the Cersei plot I will admit that though).

House of the Dragon is a chore for me to get through, but I'm trying to rewatch season one to be able to better have references directly for some of my future criticsms of the show, and hearing that theme song before these episodes is like, no.

Go get your own theme song, this one doesn't belong to you.

[argentnoelle]

Joker 2 was really well done (kind of reminded me of bicycle thieves) and I liked it without liking it? if that makes sense? It was really glum the whole way through & I thought the songs—except for the last song—could be better. (the last song, where he sang to Harley through the phone, but she didn't pick up, absolutely awesome). I did hope there would be more dancing than there was and am not a huge courtroom drama fan. But it was a really tightly-written movie that knew exactly what it was doing the whole time & did it well, + continued his character arc in a way that made sense, + he finally got to "speak for himself" at the end after spending the entire first part of the movie caught between people who are insisting either that he wasn't responsible for his own actions/completely making up issues he doesn't have or trying to paint him as "Joker (the concept)" which is actually not something a real person can be, because it was a collective fantasy made up by the public after they saw what he did on the Murray show.

Ironically enough not only a good take on Arthur Fleck, but a good, nuanced take on Joker (the comic book character) that gets into his relationship with his stage persona + sense of guilt (reminds me of the comic where, after killing Robin, Joker spends an unspecified amount of time holed up in a dingy apartment having nightmares and only decides to "play" Joker again when he sees another guy being a copycat and "stealing his act"). (other notable Joker comics it brings to mind: Going Sane; also, It's Joker Time! [premise of It's Joker Time is Joker horrifically treated in Arkham, ends up getting kidnapped to a reality TV show, gives clues so Batman can save him, and Batman finds the clues/saves him while *still not realizing* that Joker isn't there of his free will/isn't plotting/isn't in control.) that's the entire thing with Joker! Even for comic book Joker, he has a stage persona! He constantly tries to convince everyone else that he's far more one-note/cohesive/pure ideology than he actually is! He'd rather be a story full of fear, a monster, than face up to his own humanity. So yeah, once Arthur faces up to himself, he *can't be* Joker anymore. By definition. Even for (comic book) Joker, The Joker is a coping mechanism & an act he's selling. So yeah, while Joker 1 didn't have much "Joker" in it, I felt like Joker 2 actually had *so much* Joker in it.

Also really respect the portrayal of Harley! It called back to her original BTAS origin and took a distinct look at how she relates to him/why she fell love with him (there's literally a comic where Joker is "cured" and Harley hates the un-Joker him so much she comes up with supervillain plans to trick him into becoming Joker again.)

The saddest part is that [spoiler] since Arthur is now dead I can't see what kind of Batman & Joker movie the director would've made. I mean, it wouldn't have worked anyway with the realist direction of this universe, no "Batman"/Batman comics-verse so you don't get the cyclical nature that underpins Batman & Joker. But. If somehow there *could've* been a Batman & Joker movie in this 'verse, I am super interested to know what it would've been like. Because I came away from the movie thinking that it actually spent a lot of time looking at the comics, at the nature of the characters and their relationships to each other, and boiling that down... it knew what it was doing! it didn't just "use the names" (which was the impression I had a bit after watching Joker 1) but actually dug into the medium, the conceit, and the idea of the characters and how we as readers/watchers relate to them. + the animated sequences! the BTAS skyline!

So I don't think I'd watch it again but I'm glad I watched it. Beautiful acting as usual, beautiful cinematography and it's always a pleasure to watch a well-made film even if it made me feel bad, you know?

[radiomagdalene]

OUT OF CURIOSITY do u have any killjoy playlists... songs that remind u of them etc....

FUCKIN BOY DO I!!!!!!!

Okay listen. One thing about me is that my playlists are the fucking best .LIST OF IMPORTANT SONGS THAT MAKE ME SCREAM:

Don't Stop by Bad Nerves. IT'S ALRIGHT. EVERYTHING IS OKAY. I GOT YOU AND YOU GOT ME. ALSO Television off their new album is very very Mike Milligram. Beautiful song beautiful band,

Peacemaker by Green Day. I AM A KILLJOY.... FROM DETROIT..... I DRINK FROM A WELL OF RAGE...... The entire 21st Century Breakdown album is brilliant for Danger Days and wow ,wow. I like the part in Christian's Inferno where he says I AM THE ATOM BOMB I AM YOUR CHOSEN ONE for obvious reasons. Another song I want everyone to think about for the rest of time is Last of the American Girls WHY?? PARTY POISON!! THAT'S WHY!!!!! SHE PUTS HER MAKEUP ON LIKE GRAFITTI ON THE WALLS OF THE HEARTLAND!!!!!

Audrey, Start the Revolution! by Anberlin. If this isn't love then this is the closest I've ever been. Dude. Dude. The streetlights sing on Audrey's song. Dude

Death of an Executioner by Pierce the Veil. Now this one.... the lyrics are awesome it's a great song BUT ALSO if you mute the SING music video and play this over the top it fits perfectly. The breakdown lines up with the shoot out and his scream lines up with the Girl's. WOW...!

Faces by Scary Kids Scaring Kids. WHAT A FUCKING SONG!11 Dude I won't believe the horror that I've seen is more than your poison inside me. Dude we can save ourselves you can't stop us we can save ourselves we don't need your help... WOAH....

Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition by Kay Kyser. It's this brilliant 40s composition and in theory it was meant to be a patriotic war song but I can't help but read it as a lament. It;s satirical it's bitter and most of all it's BRILLIANT. I think there was at least one shitty punk band cover of it after the bombs dropped.

Ribbonhead by the Forgetters. I love robots,.......

Two for one deal with this one baby. Palo Alto AND Decks Dark by Radiohead. Both for Battery City. Wow. Wow. Radiohead. I think a lot about that part in Weird Fishes/Arpeggi where he says WHY SHOULD I STAY HERE? WHY SHOULD I STAY? I'D BE CRAZY NOT TO FOLLOW YOU. Because it can be read as staying within the City but also as the blind love and trust in others necessary for survival out in the desert.

And obviously all of the Danger Days and Conventional Weapons albums. I think CW is INEXTRICABLE from the DD universe. Mostly because of Burn Bright and Make Room and Kiss the Ring and Tomorrow's Money and all of it really. Holy mother of god......

[music-my-beloved]

With The Beatles: A 16yo's (horrible) album review pt.2 !!

It Won't Be Long 🚆: Erm, the guitar is just *mwah* chef's kiss it really carries the song, she's the backbone. She's like, duh do do duh do and it's so cute. The background vocals are eating so good !! This song I think was the most prominent to me because I remember it from Across the Universe (incredible movie btw) . Really love this song, she's like a sister to me.

All I've Gotta Do !: Honestly would have done numbers in the 2010s because I feel like it has really good "call and response" potential !! Like, uh that one song,,,, I can't remember uhh oh Ain't No Mountain High Enough . I know I keep saying this but this song IS cute ! Also so far I've noticed they're utilizing back up vocals more which is much appreciated, I hope I hear it in the rest of the tracks on this album.

All My Loving 💗: Yay! More background vocals !! I go feral for them. The guitar is also SO good. If It Won't Be Long is a sister to me this song is my brother. Heard this one a lot growing up as well. Background vocals are heavenly the little , "ooooooos" in the background are so dreamy !!

Don't Bother Me 😔: okay first initial listen it reminded me of when my I would lose my mom in the store 😭😭 my forever "lost mom in the store" anthem !! Uhm, didn't quite jive with the rhythm but that's alright !! But it is a good song!! The dude's a little bit too dependent on that lady maybe her leaving was a good thing ??? idk I'm only guessing 😭

Little Child 🚸: uhm, I'm scared. girl they're gonna catch a case !! If a grown men in their 20s sang this to me I'd be like ,"Oh okay I'm gonna groove with y'all 'cause the beat is funky but the lyrics are concerning so idk might wanna work on that"

Till There Was You 🫵: oh. em. gee. La Vie En Rose who???? Girl this song is swoonworthy !! If a guy was like, "I used to never hear the birds singing before I met you, now that's all I hear" I'd cry OMG 😭😭 also it's just paul singing and like, omg it's so simple but it's simplicity totally makes it amazing !! It feels more personal that way !!! EDIT: OMG IM INJECTING THIS IN MY BLOODSTREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's so amazingly awesome oh em gee I'm actually addicted it's not funny ! Oh my god I'm gonna explode!! Dopamine is real and I'm experiencing the effects, the world beautiful again !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please Mister Postman ✉️: this is a pretty good cover. Background vocals are once again in the spotlight they're just too good. The iconic beatles sound really starts to take shape in this album I've noticed !! Ringo did a good job on drums too !! Total rock and roll vibe. I was gonna compare it to another band it felt weird because it's like saying the parent sounds like the child and like no wdym the kid sounds like the parent !! I forget how much The Beatles really pioneered music !!!

Roll Over Beethoven 🎹: whaaaaa. man this track was a doozy ! They're cocky and it's workin'. Totally can see enthusiastic young couples totally jammin' to this it's so great ! Really loved the energy !!! Also that guitar solo is the beginning was AMAZEBALLS

Hold Me Tight 🥺: Whoa. This song is my second sister. This track was THE song at the beginning of my Beatles beginning when I was but a wee little girl lolll it's just so addictive. Makes me bop my head and smile everytime I hear it. The endorphins swarmed this one guys sorry 😔

You Really Got A Hold On Me 💕: Contradictions left and right !! Rhythm was a gentle little ebb and flow that was kinda refreshing to hear !! Liked the song.

I Wanna Be Your Man ♂️: whoa. Straightforward!! Some girls might like that in a man but uhm, idk the chanting of "I wanna be your man, I wanna be your lover" with the stark black and white of their faces on the album cover got me scared 😭😭 idk it was nightmare fuel I felt like someone was watching me. Uh but overall it was a high energy song maybe a bit too high energy for me 'cause I'm tired while writing this review but it wasn't really my preferred choice in music but I totally see me liking it like, a month from now !!

Devil In Her Heart ❤️: Maracas ?? 🤨whaarrrrr but uhm this one just felt like another song honestly. As I'm writing this review it's like, my 10th listen in the span of 3 days she's just not clicking 😭😭

Not A Second Time ⏰: Honestly the first few listens she felt bland like unseasoned chicken but now that I'm really listening it's got a simple little jive to her and I'm here for it !! It's got these vocal runs that I don't think I've heard before it's so unique!! Overall really liked her.

Money 💰: uh pink floyd who ???? But seriously this song rocks. Not the catchiest but it's true, she's REAL. I need MONEY

More album reviews on the way, next up: A Hard Days Night...

[a-moth-to-the-light]

Most-Listened of August 2023

(via stats.fm/spotistats)

[last month]

1. Deacon Blues -- Steely Dan (i may be depressed... bottom text. but also this song is GORGEOUS!! i've been singing the chorus to myself over and over again all month)

2. Gay Frogs (Alex Jones Remix) -- Placeboing, Alex Jones (this was in the #1 spot for most of the month, but luckily it got replaced before the 31st. i would like to issue a formal apology for my taste in music...)

3. Moonlight Mile -- The Rolling Stones (soundtrack for moving back to university, which i did earlier this month)

4. Quiet Night -- Oohyo (i love the feeling of falling asleep, and "quiet night" reminds me of that feeling!)

5. People -- Libianca (this is such a good-texture song! i can honestly see it being on my most-listened lists for the rest of the year??)

6. Maybe You Saved Me -- Bad Suns, PVRIS (PLEASE don't let this be the first bad suns song you listen to it's literally not that good, especially compared to their other stuff. i can't explain why i like it so much, it is literally the boringest of boring pop songs i think i've just been pavlov'ed into becoming obsessed with everything christo bowman sings)

7. Glasses -- IU (i have no idea how this got here, but yay IU!!! "zezé" from that album is WAY better tho)

8. bad idea right? -- Olivia Rodrigo (OH MY GOD THIS SONG IS SO FUN. INSTANT! FUCKING! CLASSIC! i wish the barbie movie soundtrack made me feel as obnoxiously teenage-girl-y as this song does)

9. Time Difference -- Infinite (i very love this production!!! i feel like i can get lost in it, it's beautiful)

10. Get It Together -- Genshin (found this on someone's rnb study playlist a few weeks ago, and i've been leaving it on repeat all the time since then)

11. Los Cuerpos -- Alba Reche, Fuel Fandango (this song would have been on this list even if it was just a 3-minute version of that acappella intro, it's SO good)

12. Delicate -- Taylor Swift (you've seen all the aesthetic, good-texture music on this list. is this really a surprise?)

13. Lay Low -- YooA (speaking of good-texture music--crunchy song!!)

14. None of My Business -- Itzy (i would NOT have expected this to be my favorite song from their latest album, but i'm down BAD)

15. Hard Times -- Paramore (will i get bullied off tumblr if i say this is my favorite paramore?)

Other Notable Most-Listened Songs:

#16: Lemon Black Tea -- Jo Yuri (probably my favorite release from this month, definitely my favorite kpop release from this month!)

#25: Canciones de Amor a Ti -- Rigoberta Bandini (tell me you watched red white & royal blue without telling me you watched red white and royal blue... btw i thought the movie was terrible, especially compared to how awesome the book was, but at least this song is great!!)

#26: Air Force One -- Odd Eye Circle (OH I GET THIS ONE NOW.)

#39: Madeline -- Limelight (another favorite release from this month! look, I'M not over tropical house even if you are)

[rosecoloredknight]

the way that you very obviously send yourself anons makes me giggle

the last 4 or 5 asks except the "what's my type", and "selfie" where from me. I found it interesting that I could send myself asks instead of . As pathetic as it is, I needed to talk myself out of the last two stressful days. These are the ones I asked myself.

-

-

-

I needed to vent so I asked these three questions for myself because my goodness, did I want to cry all day today and do nothing but wait till they were going to help me. I don't like feeling like I have to depend on people and wait until they find it fitting to do so. Even if it was just going to be me waiting till 2pm to replace the battery. I wanted to feel useful and so I took the battery out myself and walked to Walmart auto shop and boom. I'm really glad I did that. I got triggered when they told me that. It took me back to the year I stopped relying on them and just walked everywhere. Did you see how much I rambled and made a big deal out of nothing? Who else was going to accept my rant!?

—

This one was more of an internal question because of current circumstances and although time has and continues to pass, my affinity towards them will remain. I do stand by tagging them as such because that's honestly how I see them. But it's not because of their body? How do I explain myself without revealing anything but my admiration? Aghh— okay so, obviously they're SEXY AS FUCK ❤️‍🔥. Their body is super adorable with a cute, soft, and gradable tummy/back/hips 💕, their amazing bonkers (sorry if this offended you - but it's true) 💝, thighs to drown in 💘, with a hot juicy ass 💓, and their décolletage/collarbones/shoulders will always have me smitten... But again, that's not why I referred to them as such — To me, they will never be just some sexy body, a "piece of meat", sexual object (ALTHOUGH, I have sexualized about them a bit 😅😐), or an ordinary lewd Tumblr post. Yes, she's a work of art, like sunsets, and reminds of that Bruno Mars locked out of heaven song. However, I've been able to experience just how amazingly awesome they are and see how they are this, as they deal with that and this, and all while being THAT, which to me is one of, if not the most important role? How they're able to deal with all of that makes them a gorgeous hot mess, and despite all of it, they still remain endearing, making them the most beautiful girl out there. sigh, I feel as though I can write about them until the universe dies out. And I'll keep writing afterwards. Anyways, That's why I tag them that way. That being said, because of circumstances, it did make me feel rude and creepy hyping them up yesterday since I don't know if it's okay to do so. I was actually scared and worried about receiving a "cease and desist" dm. So that's why I sent myself that ask: is it okay for me to still hype and woo over? Am I doing this wrong? I hope this made sense.

That being said, that's me 👇🏽 every time I see their sexy pics and I'm not one bit ashamed to admit it.

The Washington ask is just me being excited but having no one else to express my excitement about. I should have just posted an update on it, I just got hooked up with the whole "wait, I can send myself asks?" Thing. Anyways, I am excited and scared about my visit over there. A lot of cars are going to be honking at me and I might be stopped by the popo because I'll most likely be driving too slow :/

—

It feels so refreshing to be honest about this. Yes, I'm extremely pathetic for doing so, but I'd rather talk to myself into madness than bother anyone.

I'm embarrassed, but glad to see you got amused by me being a loser. I was going to stop sending myself asks now that I got caught, but I'll keep it going here and there just to keep you giggling 👍🏽 It feels like you know me well enough to know which are the ones I'll send myself ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (not anytime soon tho)

Okay, take care anon 😊😊

[streetlights-all-turn-blue]

The way you described Overs made me realize one thing I really like about Paul Simon's music. He really does write great relationship songs. Some writers are just really good at taking a moment and making some great art around it. If that makes any sense.

I'm sorry I didn't send a message yesterday; I was a little swamped with finishing up the semester. But all the papers and exams are done now, yay!

I know a lot of people are probably re-obsessing with the Beatles lately because of Now & Then, but honestly, a few weeks before that song came out I was starting to watch more videos about them on YouTube and listen to them more. I guess I was expecting something big to happen, hehe. I've been really into them for most of my life.

How did you end up getting into Simon & Garfunkel? I always like hearing how people discovered their favorite music.

See you tomorrow! Hope it's been a good weekend.

🌼

Congratulations on being done with your semester!!! Awesome work - and of course no worries about not writing.

I do know what you mean about Paul’s writing particularly about relationships. I don’t know really whether he’s unsuccessful with them or successful with them or just thinks about them in interesting ways, but he’s said a lot of things through his songs that feel true? If that makes any sense at all. Like he’s picked up on something relatable and universal - that there’s no laughs left because we laughed them all in a very short time, just ugh. Yes.

I got into Simon & Garfunkel at a young age actually! I was maybe 5? My parents had a turntable in our basement and I used to go down and look through my dad’s record collection and put on records to listen to. He had the Sounds of Silence album with that beautiful cover of Art and Paul walking on the trail. I was really captivated by the look of that album cover and the sad nature of their songs (even back then I had a touch of melancholy I think - like being super into sad nursery rhymes). I was too young to know what it was that I found so captivating but I think I have just always felt a strong pull to their sound on certain songs, that darkly romantic sound of Scarborough Fair and April Come She Will which kind of reminds me of a sad nursery rhyme. I honestly did think I was gonna marry Paul Simon when I was in high school too! Sorry this is so super long aaaahhh!!!!

So cool that you started rewatching videos of the Beatles before the release of Now and Then. Do you have a favorite era or album?

Thanks so much for indulging my long S&G story!!!

[mee-the-people]

PAC #5: What Makes You Beautiful

Today’s reading will be based on the One Direction song, “What Makes You Beautiful.” Honestly, it’s been years since I listened to that song, but I still remember all the lyrics as vividly as when it was all over the radio haha. The main idea of this reading is pretty straightforward: what makes you beautiful! We’re all beautiful in our own ways- don’t let society make you think otherwise! Beauty doesn’t just have to be physical- it can be the qualities and quirks that make you shine inside and out. Please pick one of the four earrings laid out with the first earring being the orange flower. I’ll use my Oracle deck (which I’m loving so far!) and my Kawaii tarot deck to channel some insights and let you know… what makes you beautiful!

Disclaimer: I am NOT a psychic or medium, and I’m still relatively new to the tarot sphere. Each reading gives me the chance to hone my skills, so if these readings don’t resonate (as can be the case with general readings), I’m glad you were here and I hope you have a great rest of your day :) Additionally, I am not a licensed therapist, so please do not treat these readings as therapy. 

***If this reading resonates with you, please like, comment, reblog and spread the word!

Pile One: 6 of Wands Reversed, 7 of Swords Reversed, Knight of Cups, Mirror, Throne, Raindrops

So immediately, pile one, I see with the Throne and Mirror, you have endless potential. You may have been feeling self-conscious of your beauty recently, but the cards are telling me that you have to learn to love the body you have and the spirit that resides in it. You may have struggled with positive body image and self-image when you were younger but I see that you are a long way away from that person you used to be. Even if you feel like you aren’t as far along on your positive body image journey as you want to be, you are definitely a long way from where you were. Your beauty lies in your ability to cultivate healthy mindsets and boundaries regarding your body and your health. While beauty standards vary by country and culture, the universal symbol of beauty, physical or otherwise, is health. When you’re physically healthy, you have a fit and strong body and when you’re mentally healthy, your positive energy radiates from within. You accept yourself as you are rather than what society tells you to be and that’s awesome, pile one! You may be a bit of a contradiction, pile one, being both kind and strong, idealistic and realistic. The reason you may be this way is because you’ve walked through hell and back, so you are strong as hell, but you are kind enough to not let anyone else suffer through what you’ve been through. You know those people who suffer through something, but they feel like they have to make everyone else suffer in the same way or even worse? That’s not you, pile one, and everyone around you appreciates that about you! With the six of wands in reverse, I see that you may have had a tendency to take on too much in the past which is why you are cautious about whatever comes your way- while it is good to be discerning, don’t let that interfere with taking charge when you have to! And finally, with the Knight of Cups, I see your loved ones acknowledge your sweet, caring, gentle, and romantic side.

That’s all I have for you, pile one! Please leave a comment, like, and reblog if the message resonates. And do let me know of any ideas for future PACs :)

Pile Two: 8 of Cups Reversed, Page of Swords, 6 of Wands, Sundress, Thorns, Bitch-Fire

Wow, pile two, such badass cards! So I can automatically tell with the Page of Swords, you have an unending curiosity that has to be quenched. You always have a question for everything, and that’s beautiful. There’s a little scientist in you that wants to know everything about how the world works and more. It reminds me of the theme Input from the CliftonStrengths dominant themes personality test. (If you don’t know much about this personality test or the theme Input, I highly recommend you look it up!) With the 6 of Wands card, I see that you garner success and recognition everywhere you go. You may not consider yourself to be a traditionally popular person, but everyone around you sees you that way. And it’s no wonder they do! With the Thorns card, the message says, “weave together the crown you deserve.” You work hard, you’re self-sufficient and you weave your own crown, and seeing this independent aura you emanate is beautiful, pile two. You don’t depend on anybody to make you happy and that is a skill which takes years to master for most people. You stand up for yourself and whatever you pursue, you do it for you, first and foremost. That’s NOT to say you are selfish- it’s not selfish to put yourself first sometimes! What these cards tell me is that you’re not afraid to go against the grain and shake things up. Society needs movers and shakers like you, pile two, to question the status quo and put some changes in place. You’re not afraid to get loud and speak up when you have something to say. Even if you’re more introverted, you still speak your mind and won’t keep quiet when you see injustice happening. You make things happen, pile two, and you have a community of people who recognize your light and cheer you on. Sounds like you have a bit of a fan club haha. And finally, with some cups energy in the mix, I see you have a softer and more emotional side that only your close family and friends can see, and they love you for it. You may even have a nostalgic side behind the scenes despite your futuristic ideas.

That’s all I have for you, pile two! Please leave a comment, like, and reblog if the message resonates. And do let me know of any ideas for future PACs :)

Pile Three: High Priestess Reversed, 5 of Pentacles, 8 of Pentacles, Lighthouse, Phoenix, Garden

So, I see a lot of Pentacles energy for you, pile three, so you could be an Earth sign or have a lot of Earth in your natal chart. Pentacles is often associated with Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn in western astrology, so if this is you, please take this reading as extra confirmation. With the five of pentacles, I see you are a bit stingy with money, but I don’t see this as a bad thing! Even though the five of pentacles is not seen as a great card in tarot, for the purposes of this reading, I see it as having come from almost nothing but you’re making something of yourself. The Phoenix card perfectly reflects this because you are determined to creating your own happily ever after without a Prince/Princess Charming, and like pile two, your independence is beautiful. I also see with the Garden oracle card and the eight of pentacles, you’re allowing your craftsmanship in your skills to flourish just like how plants flourish in a garden with proper sunlight and water (see what I did there;) You’re careful with money because you may not have had enough growing up and you’re always fearful that it can go in the blink of an eye. You have a good head on your shoulders, pile three, and that’s what makes you beautiful, but I see sometimes you have a tendency to be too nitpicky with money. No need to be a Scrooge McDuck, pile three! It’s okay to treat yourself every once in a while, but don’t make it a habit out of it. 

I’ve noticed that with all of my piles so far, there’s a hidden side of you that’s the opposite of what you show to the world, and I see that your spirituality is what makes you beautiful to the people close to you. While pentacles and earth energy is certainly materialistic, your spiritual side with the High Priestess card, even though it’s in reverse, can point to having a strong intuition, but because of the nature of reversed cards, I see that you may not trust your intuition when it comes to career and business. While that’s a good, practical mindset to have, sometimes, trusting your intuition can take you places where you never even saw yourself before which is a beautiful thing. I see with the Lighthouse card, pile three, that you have a tendency to doubt whether you’re enough because of the financial circumstances you grew up in, but you must remember to champion yourself. If you’re independent enough to stand on your own two feet after hardship, you can absolutely remind yourself that you’re always enough and that your financial situation doesn’t determine your worth. Even if you have to write “I am enough” on a post-it note and add it to your mirror or repeat it to yourself every morning, that little bit of self-care can go a long way!

That’s all I have for you, pile three! Please leave a comment, like, and reblog if the message resonates. And do let me know of any ideas for future PACs :)

Pile Four: Star Reversed, 9 of Cups, Two of Cups, Voyage, Tree, Mural

***Apologies for the low-res image, pile four! My hand got shaky taking that picture haha

Are you a water sign or a Jupiter Dominant, pile four? Or perhaps you have your Moon or Jupiter or both in the ninth house? If you answered “yes” to one or more of these placements, pile four, please take this reading as extra confirmation. So I see with the Star reversed card, you are a shining light, but because this card is in reverse, you have a tendency to dim your light because you put others first (with the cups energy). It’s beautiful that you put others first, pile four, but don’t forget to put yourself first sometimes! You don’t want to end up like the Giving Tree that gave everything it had until it became a stump and even then, the boy wasn’t appreciative of all that the Giving Tree did for him. Your soft heart and generous spirit is beautiful, pile four, but don’t let people take advantage of you! No matter how genuinely good you are, there will always be people out there who will want to take advantage of your goodness for their own personal gain without acknowledging what you’ve done for them. Stay as far away from these energy vampires as possible, pile four! You do NOT need them in your life and they don’t deserve you. 

I also get the vibe that you are wise, and especially if you are young, you might be wise beyond your years. Your wisdom is beautiful, pile four, and you value rich, deep relationships whether they are platonic or romantic. You are a present moment kind of person, always enjoying the life in front of you instead of worrying about the future (as so many of us tend to do!) or getting held up by your past. You may be a free spirit with the Voyage card, and if you have your Moon in the ninth house or you’re a Jupiter dominant, this doubles or triples your confirmation (depending on your placements). You may be artistic, because I see in the Mural card imagery, the girl is painting on her wall with her materials (and her cat!) in front of her. Even if you don’t paint, you may be artistic in other ways- through music, dance, writing, tarot (hehe;), whatever it is, you were born to create something beautiful in this world. You are also beautiful because you let things go- whether it’s regrets, past mistakes, relationships that didn’t work out, or friendships where you were left behind in the dust. Whatever doesn’t serve you, you let it fly, and that’s a beautiful quality to have, pile four. Most people spend lifetimes caught up on people and situations that didn’t work out, but you don’t hesitate to move on regardless of whether you get closure or not. The world could learn a thing or two from you, pile four! 

That’s all I have for you, pile four! Please leave a comment, like, and reblog if the message resonates. And do let me know of any ideas for future PACs :)

[egg-emperor]

Why is no one talking about the music video crushing 30 eggman's design is amazing

Anyways I want to hear you gush about it

I have no idea because it's fantastic, it deserves a lot more talk and attention! Fortunately it's getting there in views now at a million, but there still isn't enough people talking about the awesome stuff that the video gave us! There's a lot of great things about the song and music video but of course on my blog I'm here to gush about Eggman specifically, so of course he's what I'm going to focus on here heheh. I appreciate that you're interested in my thoughts on it!

AND I COME WITH GIFS!

I love the X vibes of the animation! Bringing back the similar style and some of Eggman's common quirks from it is a nostalgic delight to see and he looks so beautiful I wanna give him a big smooch 🥰💕💜💖 I love how he still has all of his classic mannerisms and energy because I don't think he'll ever lose it. He's still dealing with defeat after defeat from Sonic like always but he still knows how to have fun as his same handsome self and for that, he's better off than some of the other characters in this video XD

I was so overjoyed to see him enter his EGG CASINO. I always love Eggman + casinos, the look and atmosphere is wonderful and the Egg Pawn esque designs are great!!

It's cute that he got a little stuck for a moment in the door there. I noticed that cheeky monitor saying 'LOL' tsk tsk XD

That's one strong little stool to be sturdy enough not to break when he sits on it but it still wasn't enough to hold this heavy man without it sinking so much that the pole bended and got scrunched up! With these details and the way his outfit doesn't seem to be the best fitting, it appears that he too has gained a bit more weight over time, just like his arch nemesis has in this video.

You know how I feel about my Eggs in casinos as I have a whole Casino AU dedicated to a version that's main focus is all his casinos. The concept of main universe Eggman actually focusing more on casinos in the future like this video seems to imply, likely because of how much of a highly reliable source of income they are to help keep his operations going for so many years, is fantastic and right up my alley! I immediately felt total adoration for the design and this was the cherry on top, I'm absolutely obsessed now!

Honestly, it's very rare that I find myself enjoying fan or even official redesigns of Eggman, I can be very picky with them because a lot of them tend to take away things I love most about his design. But this ticks all the right boxes for me and only enhances his already existing beauty and appeal, it doesn't change too much about his physical appearance and style so he still has his true essence but it changes enough for it to feel new, which is exactly how a future Eggman should be. And he's as handsome as ever, I can't stop admiring him 😍💜💕💘💖

It surprisingly suits a bunch of my exact tastes and headcanons of mine for future Eggman! Most notably the casino stuff, sexy older Eggman, and the idea that he gains more weight with time and age and keeps it. Slimming him down in redesigns is a crime but I'm all for him plumping up a bit more instead, it would make much more sense. It appears he stopped trying to bother to zip up his jacket because of that and it looks too short now, so he can't button it down either. I love how his jacket and undershirt ride up, I always treasure a peek at the precious tum 🥰

Also can we please acknowledge the cake on this man because I'm so in love fjsbfjsndngmg

His outfit appears to take some inspiration from the Sonic Prime concept art design with the open jacket and white undershirt but in my opinion, they improved on it way more and made me realize that it could be super appealing if presented in the right way. The added shoulder pads, cape, and more royal regal look with the crowned egg on the back gives it so much more style! Reminds me of one of the Boom concept art Eggman outfits blended in a bit too, especially with the yellow gloves. That might just be intentional!

I love everything about the Eggman in this video just from the few glorious moments of screentime! It really makes me wish this was actually a small series of sorts, where we could see what a future Eggman would get up to with what would change and what would stay the same, it's super interesting stuff! And if modern Eggman had to get a permanent redesign, this is the exact kind of design that I would accept and embrace wholeheartedly! :D 💕

To anyone that hasn't seen the video- please check it out because it's brilliant!

[springstarfangirl]

The Truth About King JJ

Okay, so while listening to the Theme of King JJ for the umpteenth time, I figured something out about this song. We've all been treating it like it's an extension of JJ's ego, just a song about how awesome he is. But what if it's not? What if it's not an extension of his ego, but a coping mechanism for societal pressure and anxiety that's as bad as Yuuri's?

First off, we need to look at the song itself. It sounds a touch off, doesn't it? There's something weird about the lyrics. What if I told you that the reason is that for the most part, the person singing is not JJ?

I know it sounds wild, but hear me out. We've all been reading the first line of the chorus as though it's JJ calling out to the world to follow him, but the grammar is weird. But add two commas, and look what it becomes: "I can rule the world, JJ, just follow me." Someone else is calling out to JJ, telling him to just follow the singer.

Next part: JJ is still singing in this song, but not the parts you might expect.

Now I rule the world

And the starry skies

Spreading above

That's the singer I mentioned earlier, the one who's speaking to JJ. Encouraging him.

I'll never give up even if the night should fall

Always do my best

I look in the mirror, the king looks back at me

This is JJ singing. He's scared, under pressure, but he's going to fight anyway.

I can rule the world, JJ, just follow me

I will break the walls, now look at me

Fools or even wise aren't the enemies

This is who I am, just remember me

I'm the king, JJ, no one defeats me

This is who I am, baby

Just follow me

This is the other singer again. He's proud, he's confident, he knows that JJ can't defeat him, but he invites him to follow him and learn from him.

He's on the top

And all the beauty's in his hands

This is JJ singing again. He admits to his weakness.

Now I can reach the stars

And I will show you how

Whenever you feel all alone, never shed a tear

If you always hide your pain, you'll make it through the rain

This is the other singer again, and, seeing how JJ has accepted his weakness, he gives JJ some advice. Not exactly good advice, to be fair- to hide his emotions and his pain could wreck his psyche. Which it eventually does.

I'll never give in how high the mountains rise

Keep looking ahead

I look in the mirror, the king looks back at me

This is JJ again. He's taken the advice, he's determined- but it's the kind of determination that will run him ragged if he doesn't stop at some point to reconsider.

I can rule the world, JJ, just follow me

Catch me if you can and look at me

We're back to this singer, and he's now challenging JJ. He's no longer encouraging, he's challenging JJ to become more than his expectations.

I'm brave enough to fight the enemies

This is who I am, just remember me

These two lines are a duet, both JJ and the other singer singing together as a challenge to the world.

I'm the king, JJ, no one defeats me

This is who I am, baby

Just follow me

Back to the singer, solo. He repeats his lines from earlier in the song, reminding JJ that whatever he's playing at is not going to last.

He's on the top

And all the whole universe

JJ is sinking in these lines. The other person rejected him, he's got nowhere to go.

Now I can be the star

And I will show you how

But the singer flips around again, offering reassurance and support. He can be the star, but he's going to show JJ how to be the star.

I'll never give up even if the night should fall

Always do my best

I look in the mirror, the king smiles at me

These final lines are JJ alone, finally receiving approval from the other singer, and being able to continue onward.

Now, if that's how one reads this song, and not as the catchy ego trip that it sounds like on first listen, you start to realize that JJ, despite his cocky attitude, has as many problems in his life as Yuuri. But, unlike Yuuri, who attempts to close himself off from the world, thus receiving others' attention and support, JJ pretends that he thinks he's worth something. He pretends that he has any measure of self-worth, and inflates it. By doing this, though, he's pushing off other people who could be his friends. They see it as being self-centered, and that's what they tell others. It's hard to fight a first impression.

But then that all comes crashing down at the Grand Prix Final in Barcelona, where, after two gold medals in the lead up to the final, JJ crashes and burns. He has an anxiety attack on the ice. Who knows how the other skaters' perspective on JJ will shift after that?

My thanks to @sapphieissleepy for allowing me to ramble about the Theme of King JJ in her dms. This actually came about after I mentioned that JJ was probably going to have an anxiety attack right before their show (ballet au) and Yuuri would know exactly what to do because of his own experience with anxiety. Then I realized what the song actually meant, and I couldn't help myself.

[witch-hazels-musings]

Hey Hazel! Hope you have / had a wonderful day 😌

Now let me introduce you to a thought I can’t get out of my mind for a few days now (and I hope sharing it with you is fine!)

It is canon, as far as I am aware, that Venti is super fond of Diluc, because Diluc reminds him of someone from his past. And all I can think about is- Venti just wants Diluc to be happy. So when someday the Anemo-Archon in disguise notices a slight shift in Dilucs behaviour when he talks with a certain someone (a reader character if you will), the mischievous side of Venti decides to play a prank on him help that poor fool in love to express his feelings. I just feel like Venti would be an in-universe shipper. He’d try to not be that obvious about it as a bard, though he would definitely tease Diluc about it some nights at angels share, especially if the reader was just there (which gets him cut off from dandelion wine for a few days). As the archon he would create scenarios so Diluc was forced to see the person of his affection, from whom he tries to keep a healthy distance so his feelings don’t grow too strong, by the ways Venti just makes use of his powers as an archon. Oh dear, the sky was just so clear and full of stars, but suddenly a storm approached and the reader just came back from an very exhausting commission. Thank the archons that they are near the Dawn Winery, they can definitely find shelter there until the sky cleared up again. Or what’s this? The reader walks down the stairs of Mondstadt, but suddenly there was a gust of wind and they lose balance? Thank Barbatos that Diluc was just there to catch you before you could fall. Diluc just opening the window of his office because he needed some fresh air, but swoosh! The wind takes the important documents out of the window, making him sprint after them (cursing that tone deaf bard, Paimons nickname just sticks, under his breath), but oh what a lucky coincidence, you were close and picked up his paperwork, giving it to him with such a bright and warm smile, it could’ve even melted the entire Dragonspine. (The possibilities of so many different scenarios that could lead to cute moments between Diluc and the reader or just totally embarrassing ones, it seems endless haha).

Diluc picks up after the first few incidents that it was probably Barbatos work that stuff like that happened over and over again, but Venti would vehemently deny it. “What Master Diluc, how do you believe that it was me? The winds just have a mind on their own, they act on their own accord because you see, nothing is more free than the winds itself. And who am I, a simple bard with his lyre, to be able to cause such trouble to you? Did you have too much of your own wine perhaps?” Only time where Venti, who knows that Diluc knows, keeps denying that he’s Barbatos.

Ventis teasing and behaviour though would definitely worsen when the Windblume Festival was around the corner. Even composing a ballad of a Dark Knight Hero, who’s inner fire was put out from past losses, from all the tears he cried, but the fire was miraculously ignited again when he met a fair maiden. When Venti premiered this piece in Angles Share Diluc was very close to kick him out, Kaeya sitting at bar trying not laugh to hard because he definitely knows what Venti implies with the song and just finds it funny how much Diluc hates it, but the reader, bless them and that they had no idea it was about them and Diluc, would love Ventis new ballad and oh well… after a few times hearing that song Diluc can’t deny that it is pleasant on the ears, if it weren’t for the damn lyrics. And on nights Venti didn’t perform, he would try to convince Diluc to take love letter writing classes. Of course Venti would be the teacher and the fee was just the best Dandelion wine he Winery had to offer. Nonetheless to say that Diluc would always refuse that offer, but the thought of writing the feelings he felt for you out didn’t leave his mind.

And so one sleepless night, the last night of the festival, Diluc sits down and just writes his feelings down. How much he loved to be around the reader, their company, their laugh. The way how they show everyone kindness, even to those for whom Diluc can not muster up any at all. How he secretly admires their ability to still be so happy and cheerful, even after all that happened in their past (which only applies if you HC a reader with a tragic past but oh I’m a sucker for that). You know, it’s gonna be a long, sappy and beautiful letter written by a love sick fool who never planned for the reader to see the letter.

Buuuuuuut I wouldn’t be writing this totally way too long ask if it weren’t for Venti and him being a little shit. And I just imagine Diluc not thinking about closing that window before he sat down to write that letter, before he put it in an envelope with his wax seal on top of it… wanting to burn it into ashes with his Vision and in that very moment it flies out of his hand, out of the window. His face just turning pale as snow, knowing exactly what that cursed alcoholic bard is planning to do.

If it weren’t for exam season and me having to write several papers I’d try my own luck with writing out a plot driven Diluc x reader fan fiction with those ideas, but I don’t have the time and energy so I just want to put this idea out into the world (and into your ask box), because I just really want to talk about it. And I needed to get this out at least once so I can maybe concentrate on Uni for now 😭

Omggg!! I love this and there is so much adorable going on I'm melting 🤩🤩

Venti being the world's best shipper is awesome, and he knows how important it is to actually love someone, even if those moments are fleeting and troublesome; venti honestly wants people to live their fullest and best life which is why he doesn't stop people from doing things - why the windblume festival is so important and represents so many different things with no real answer

This is awesome and you're awesome and I hope if you find some time you will get inspired to write this story - you already have so much !!

(bless you for sharing, this was so warm 😭🤗🌼)

[thefloorisbalaclava]

Hello lovely! So a friend and I have been talking about Frankie lately and how damn adorable it would be if he were his kids little league baseball coach. Like, he passes down his old mitt to them from high school days (even though it’s comically too big for them) because it gave him good luck, and of course all the guys would come to support them (possibly Benny or Santi even trying to hit on the single moms because of course they would LOL) could possibly be in the neighbor!frankie universe with Gabi in their future some time? We just thought you’d be perfect to write these random ideas into something beautiful. If you have time or even like the idea of course!! ❤️❤️❤️

I hope you don’t mind me putting this in the mechanic!frankie AU! I think it’s a great way for reader and Frankie to bond a little more!

A/N: You run into your favorite mechanic while out running errands.

[mechanic!frankie masterlist]

You wandered aimlessly down the aisle of the store, randomly grabbing a box of cereal to throw into your cart as you whistled along to the song playing in your ear. As you rounded the corner, you ran into someone else’s cart. You quickly removed your earbuds to apologize.

“Oh! I am so- Frankie?!” It came out a little louder than you expected, making a few heads turn.

“I thought I was Frankie,” he joked and you rolled your eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“Just picking up a few things.” You looked at his cart. “You look like you’re picking up enough to feed a small army.”

“I kinda am.” He held his jacket open to show you his baseball jersey. “Got a game tonight and we’re gonna have a party after--win or lose. You’d be surprised how much those kids can eat.”

“Wait, are you telling me you coach little league?”

“I do, yeah.” He smiled proudly. “I used my own money to get the league started. I buy the uniforms and everything.”

“You didn’t tell me this last night.”

“Well, I was focused on other things,” he said and you giggled like a schoolgirl. “I had fun.”

“Me too and the food was delicious. Remember, next time I’m cooking for you,” you told him.

“Are you doing anything later?” he asked.

“Oh, wow, trying to get me to cook for you already, huh?” you teased.

“No,” he chuckled, “I was wondering if you’d like to come out and watch the game. Cheer us on a little.”

“I’ll be there. Where is it?” you asked and he told you. “Coach Frankie...it fits you.”

“Thanks.” He stood there silently for a moment. “Why is it always so hard to say goodbye to you?”

“I was just wondering the same thing. How about this? We won’t say goodbye just...see you later.”

“Okay then. See you later.”

“See ya, Coach Frankie.” You winked and pushed your cart past him and he watched until you were out of sight.

It was a nice day out so you decided to walk. The game was already underway by the time you got there, and you didn’t know it but Frankie had been scanning the bleachers for you. This time when he looked up and spotted you, he beamed and waved then turned back to all the kids that surrounded him. Once he was done, he walked over to the fence and waved you down.

“You made it,” he said.

“Yeah, sorry I’m late. I walked,” you told him.

“No umbrella?” he asked then looked up at the sky. “It’s gonna rain, you know. Can’t you smell it?”

“The weatherman said nothing about rain today.”

“He could be wrong...” Someone called his name and he turned. “I’ll see you after the game, okay? Don’t sit alone. My friends are up there.” He nodded to the group of guys sitting at the very top of the bleachers.

“Okay. Good luck, Coach.” You smiled and made your way up the bleachers.

“So you’re Frankie’s girl, huh?” one of the men asked. “I’m Benny, by the way.”

“Hi Benny. And I’ve met you, Santiago...right?” Santiago nodded and shook your hand.

“This is my brother William,” Benny said. You shook his hand too then sat down to watch the game. It made you smile to see Frankie enjoying himself, surrounded by children who obviously hung on every word he said. You didn’t hear him shout once aside from cheering for his team. At one point you got so into it that you stood up and cheered louder than anyone else. The guys snickered as you cleared your throat and sat back down.

They ended up winning the game and you all went down to congratulate them.

“What a win, Coach Frankie,” you said, giving him a high five.

“I think I might have had a good luck charm out there in the crowd,” he said and you looked down shyly. The guys came over and you stood back while they talked to him. Afterwards, Frankie reminded everyone of the little party he had put together in the park for them so you all walked over and enjoyed pizza and snacks with the team and their parents.

Frankie told you that you didn’t have to help clean but you wanted to. You weren’t exactly ready to say goodnight just yet. His friends said their goodbyes and his players all gave him a high five and a hug before leaving with their families.

When the last of the mess was thrown away, Frankie turned to you, lifting his cap to scratch at his head. “You mind if I walk you home?” he asked.

“I don’t mind at all.”

“Oops...almost forgot my umbrella.” He sprinted over to where he left it then made his way back to your side.

“You really brought an umbrella? It’s not going to rain,” you repeated.

“Yeah, it is. Here...let me show you. This is what my dad taught me.” He led you over to a tree. “You see when the wind blows and the backs of the leaves show? That means rain.”

“I see but...” You felt a raindrop on your head and Frankie shrugged.

“Told ya. Come on.” 

You two walked slowly through the park, taking the longer way around. “Maybe it won’t rain too bad.” No sooner had you said that than the skies opened up. You squealed and Frankie opened his umbrella as quickly as he could, pulling you under there with him.

“Think we can make it to the bridge?” he asked over the rain.

“I don’t know...” Suddenly he took your hand and pulled you along as he ran under the bridge then leaned against the stones to catch his breath.

“I...told...you,” he teased.

“Don’t rub it in,” you breathed. You smiled at him and he smiled back. He took his hat off and slicked his hair back before replacing it.

“At least it waited until after the game,” he said. He saw you hugging yourself and shrugged his jacket off before draping it over your shoulders. “There.”

“Thanks.” You pulled it around you tighter and were hit with a delightful smell. You closed your eyes and let yourself be surrounded by it. “Sandalwood,” you said out loud.

“Hm?”

“Your jacket...it smells like sandalwood,” you said.

“Oh yeah. One of my favorite scents,” he told you.

“Fits you. Very earthy and...” Your breath hitched as you noticed how close he was to you. “...you.”

“Very earthy and me?”

“Y-Yeah.” You two just stared at each other for awhile and you felt yourself being drawn to him, your body leaning towards his.

“Looks like it’s letting up,” he said suddenly, breaking the spell you were under.

“Oh...yeah, it does.” You tried to hide your slight disappointment.

“Shall we, my lady?” He offered his arm while he used the other to hold the umbrella. “Not my lady,” he amended, “I meant like...”

“I know what you meant. Let’s go.” You took his arm and moved as close as you could to get under the umbrella with him.

“I’m not used to this, you know,” he said after a few moments of silence. “I haven’t walked through the park like this since my wife died...” His words trailed off.

“Thank you for sharing something so special with me, Frankie.”

By the time he got you home, the rain had stopped and the sun had started to go down.

“Thank you for letting me walk you home.”

“Thank you for walking me home,” you countered and he chuckled.

“Can I call you tonight?” he asked.

“Of course. You can call whenever you like.”

“Great...awesome.” He walked backwards down the path. “Talk to you soon,” he said before turning away. As he walked along, he noticed he had started whistling I’m Singing in the Rain. He twirled his umbrella playfully and purposely jumped in a puddle.

“What a glorious feeling, and I’m happy again...” he sang to himself.

frankie taglist: @fakenoods @oldstuffnewstuff @the-bird-suit @lestrange2703 @findhimfives @windfallss @rach7 @surfsup666 @theghostwiththemost-babe @marshmallow–3 @mrschiltoncat @aplaceofpeace @josepedropascal @mitchi-c @jeeperky @allthingsnarcos @laymegentlytorest @stanfordscrush @fangirlingss @nathan-bateman @darthdumbasss @helga1031 @master-obi-wan-kenboneme @heythere80sbaby @deserttastesbitter @dindjstarin @mandodjarinn @frankie-stein18 @funkylittlebisexuall @16boyfriends-and-me @marvelousmermaid @slugbuggie @ladyblogger-margie @queenbbarnes @dodgerandevans @terrormonster55 @queridopascal @hells-bells-x @allmahfeels @elizabeth-von-winken-universe @blackberries45 @darnitdraco @nemo-my-name-forevermore @dindjarinneedsahug

permanent taglist: @magicsuperheroes @feelmyroarrrr @the-dazzling-urbanite @phoenixhalliwell @liveloudwriteloud @tumblogbykarapaloma @jaime1110 @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @pascal-isaac @dazedrhapsody @pascalisthepunkest @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa @tiffdawg @freak-of-nature2002 @kingpascals @saltywintersoldat @theocatkov @mandilflorian @cyaredindjarin @themarcusmoreno @the-feckless-wonder @loki-098 @arabellathorne @dindisneydjarin @punkpascal @opheliaelysia @takens-world @huliabitch @stardelic @kandomeresbitch @havenforafrazzledmind @thisis-theway @stardust-galaxies @mrsparknuts @jedi-mando @frankiemorales @edencherries @lilkermit14 @virtualxjournality @thirstworldproblemss @emesispo @heresathreebee @tangledlove27 @marvgrrl @hayley-the-comet @insoucianttt @witchyavenger @coaaster @starless-eyes-remain @wanderlustmags @wonderfulfluffer @lv7867 @pedropasscals @pedroepascal @wigwitch @seasonschange-butpeopledont @theoria850 @roxypeanut @autumnleaves1991-blog @kenedyybrooklin @artsymaddie @dindjareen @silverfish-kingdom @heyitmelexie @gredandfeorgesgirl @mandaloriandindjarin @moonlight-prose @rosiefridayrogersunday @ssppoorrkk @amalie-buch @lucifer- @mstgsmy @randomness501 @darthadeline @youarenewformetoo @thehippiequilter @whovian-gurl @neverlandlibrarian @chibi-liz05 @dragons-of-the-usa @over300books @borderlinedindjarin @mudhornchronicles @cosmoschick @linkpk88 @lovingramsey @djvrins @escapedthesarlacc @coni-martina @pedrospunk @burrshottfirstt @jitterbugs927 @xserenax-13 @anatanotegami @doin-stuff @djarinsruni @aerolanya @icanbeyourjedi @bison-writes @strangelittlenobody @dinsbeskar @sarahjkl82-blog @neontiiger @houseofthirst @intu-witch-tion @ennuiandthebourgeoisie @littlebopper96 @boxdyeblonde @empressamidala @myheart-pedro @mtjoi @purplepascal042 @goalkeepernerd @rebelliouscat @leaiorganas @eternallyvenus @mandocrest @kellyozz @the-wishmonger @maythxthirstbxwithyou @andiebell2023 @moonlightburned @videogamesandpoorlifechoices @leonieb @freeshavocadoooo @auroraariza @kalimont83 @notabotiswear @martellthemandalor @beesting77 @medeasmiles @diaryofkali @mando-amando @venusdjarin @mystical-934 @blackmarketmummy @hauntedmama @mamacitapascal @insomniamamma @pedro4ever @greeneyedblondie44

i hope everyone is where they want to be! let me know if you want to be changed around! join a taglist here!

[thomaslightwood]

“What if Paris was the first time we’d met?” || Thomastair University AU

I wrote this because 1) anxiety and 2) the idea of what would happen if Thomas and Alastair had met for the first time in Paris is killing my soul so here you go

•

Thomas closed his notebook with a sigh.

“I know you want to say it,” Thomas grounded.

Lucie looked at him with big innocent eyes. “Say what?”

Thomas rolled his eyes.

Lucie smiled at him and while they both stood up, she said with a grin, “Okay, I will say it. I told you not to drink last night. I told you.”

Thomas signed again. “Yeah, you did. In my defense, that guy was cute and I was nervous!”

“No excuses!”

“Mr. Lightwood.”

Thomas stopped on the exit and looked at the professor. “Yes, Mrs. Jahanshah?”

Sona Jahanshah handed him a list. “Your paper. I wished to give it to you yesterday but well.” You weren't here was left unsaid but they both knew what she meant.

Thomas felt ashamed. His Farsi class was his favorite and Mrs. Jahanshah was an awesome woman. Strict and rarely allowing compromises but amazing teacher. Thomas didn't want to let her down by missing her classes to get drunk. Especially on the second day of the new semester.

He hesitatingly took the paper and looked at it. A small smile appeared on his face.

“Thank you Mrs. Jahanshah,” he said. He hurried to Lucie who was waiting for him at the door.

“Well?” she raised an eyebrow.

Thomas grinned but only said, “Nothing.”

“Come on, let me see!”

“Nope.”

Lucie tried to grab it from him but she was too small compared to him. And in general. In the end she gave up but said this wasn't the end.

“One day I will read your work, Thomas Alexander Lightwood, remember my words.”

“Yeah, of course,” he said with a smile.

Together they left the university and went to the near coffee shop where they were supposed to meet with Lucie's friend, Cordelia.

Thomas was a little jealous how Lucie could find a soulmate so fast. It has never been so easy to Thomas. It will never be. Maybe he was just too awkward. Sometimes he felt like his insecurities were written all over his face.

Lucie's smile widened. “There she is. It seems her brother is also here.”

•

“I have work,” Alastair said.

“We all have,” Cordelia said.

“Okay, I have a lot of work.”

“Come on,” Cordelia arched an eyebrow. “You should take a rest from time to time. Or else your brain would explode.”

“Sure,” Alastair said sarcastically. “Tell me again, why am I here? To rest? By meeting people?”

“It's just Lucie! And one of her friends, Thomas, who is a really adorable guy. It would be fine!”

Alastair wasn't convinced but didn't say anything. Cordelia was determined to make him talk with people for some reason.

“Oh, I see Lucie. She's right there.”

Alastair followed his sister's look. He spotted her friend, Lucie Herondale, a small but lively girl. They have spoken a few times but Alastair didn't really know anything about her except the things Cordelia told him.

Next to Lucie was a tall, broad-shouldered guy with a shy smile that was laughing at something Lucie said.

Alastair felt like someone kicked him in the stomach.

“Fuck,” he breathed. “You didn't tell me your friend is so cute.”

Cordelia blinked at him and smiled playfully. “I didn't know he is your type.”

“He is now,” Alastair stated.

Cordelia couldn't help but grin.

“Fuck,” Alastair said again looking at Thomas.

•

Thomas and Lucie sat on the table with Cordelia and Alastair. He was introduced to the Cordelia's brother and Thomas got worried he'd do something stupid and would make fool of himself in front of the beautiful guy next to him and-

Thomas forced himself not to space out too much but to listen to what the rest were talking about. He did his best to join the conversation but it wasn't easy to concentrate.

At some point Alastair said he's going to the bathroom and Cordelia went to ask for more coffee. Thomas breathed out and turned to Lucie.

“Why didn't you tell me your friend's brother is so cute? You know I don't know how to act around cute guys!”

“You are doing just fine,” Lucie said, trying to calm him down.

“Well, I was drowning in anxiety. But... I think it was sort of... the normal anxiety?”

“You mean...”

At this moment Cordelia returned to the table and Lucie didn't finish her sentence. Thomas was grateful. He was diagnosed with social anxiety and didn't feel comfortable talking about it in front of strangers. Only a few close to him people knew and Thomas did not want too many people to find out about it. It made him, well, anxious.

When Alastair got back he said he should hurry up for his next lecture and said goodbye. Thomas was a little disappointed.

Cordelia, Lucie and he had almost an hour until their next class so they remained in the cafe. Thomas wanted to know more about Alastair Carstairs but he thought asking Cordelia may look creepy and out of place. He may ask Lucie to do it. Or he himself to ask. Some day.

•

Thomas was nervous. It was his first time in a new class where he didn't know anyone (he didn't know many people in the university as a whole but still).

As he entered the room he tried to calm down. Took a deep breath. His anxiety was still there but after Thomas took his seat he felt like he wouldn't get an anxiety attack in front of the whole class and will survive this. Probably.

He prepared to take notes, took out a few pens (just in case) and tried to breath normally. He reminded himself no one was paying attention to him. There were a lot of people in the room, he was just another guy in it. It was going to be fine.

“Hey, can I sit here?”

Thomas turned to the person talking to him and blinked. Alastair Carstrais.

“Sure,” Thomas said after a second.

Alastair smiled a little and Thomas couldn't help it - he returned the smile.

“The room is just so full. I was worried there weren't any left seats.”

The room was indeed full. Thomas was happy he got here early so he could sit at a place he liked.

“Cordelia didn't mention you like history.”

“Cordelia is awesome but I'm not very close with her,” Thomas said. “And I'm a little bit of history buff,” he admitted.

“Enough history buff to take a class for it, it seems,” Alastair said with a small smile.

Thomas laughed. “Yes, apparently.”

The professor walked into the room and it got quiet.

Thomas listened with interest to the lecture, taking detailed notes. But he was also excited because of the person sitting next to him.

•

Thomas wasn't sure how much time had passed but he knew he was hungry.

“Hey,” Thomas turned to Alastair who had a little strange expression as he said this. “Wanna, like- I mean if you're not busy, to have lunch with me? Or even just coffee if you don't have a lot of time?”

Thomas' stomach did a flip but it was a good kind of flip, nervous and excited.

“I would be happy to have lunch together.”

Alastair smiled. It was a real, warm smile. “Okay.”

They went out of the university and Alastair said he knew a good place in the area. Thomas followed, careful to remember the way to it. He may need to come here again, hopefully.

As they sat, menus appeared in front of them almost immediately. Thomas ordered tea, Alastair - coffee until they waited for the food.

They talked about the lecture. It was about the history of the Ancient Near East. Alastair was half Persian and Thomas was fascinated to hear a few curious history facts about the Persian culture from him.

“I admit,” Alastair said. “My love of the Persian stories and songs is influenced by my mother. Sometimes she says it's her duty as a teacher to tell us, Cordelia and I, as much as she could about our heritage. Which of course has nothing to do with her profession but we don't say anything," Alastair laughed a little.

“Your mother is a teacher?” Thomas said curiously.

“Yes, for a few years now. She's a professor here.”

Thomas' eyes widened. “Wait, your mother is Sona Jahanshah?”

“The same,” Alastair said before drinking from his coffee.

“Whoa,” Thomas said with a smile. “I should have thought about it earlier. You have the same eyes.”

Alastair's eyes sparkled at this. He looked amused. “Most people would say we share the same temper not eyes.”

“This too,” Thomas laughed.

The conversation went in different directions a few times. They found out they share a great love for music. That Alastair's favorite book is The Prince by Machiavelli. Thomas in returned said his is Rubaíyat́ of Omar Khayyaḿ. They promised to read each other's favorite books because they haven't read it before. Thomas found out Alastair can play a piano and sing. Thomas wanted to hear him.

“What made you choose to come to France?” Thomas asked at some point.

“It's mainly because me and Cordelia wanted to study here. Paris is one of the cities where we were the happiest. So we moved here.”

Thomas wanted to ask about his father but he knew from Lucie Cordelia and Alastair's father was a sensitive topic so Thomas decides to leave it alone.

“How about you? Are you a big fan of France?”

“Not exactly,” Thomas laughed nervously. “Actually, coming to France doesn't seem very wise. My father wanted me to go study in Spain or Wales. Which would be logical because I know Spanish and Welsh. My father has connections in Spain and Lucie's father is Welsh. I started to learn French only a year ago. But...” Thomas tried his best to explained it. When he was saying it out aloud it sounded like a stupid decision but it makes sense Thomas' head. “It's about the university. The history of this city. I admire it. Lucie and I talked about it and our parents let us study here only because they know we're together.”

The waiter came to serve them the food and Thomas paused. He even didn't remember ordering a second time.

“You probably think I'm silly," Thomas said, feeling stupid.

“No, no," Alastair shook his head. “Not at all. I think I understand.”

Thomas looked at his eyes. He believed him.

“Also, you speak Spanish, Welsh and learn Farsi and French? I'm impressed.”

Thomas smiled a little shyly at that. He didn't mind compliments but coming from Alastair felt different.

The time was passing and they barely noticed. They both missed their lectures but as much as it was unusual for Thomas he barely cared. He did not regret the time spent with Alastair.

They exchanged numbers and social media. Alastair promised to send him more book recommendations. Thomas kept smiling the whole day.

•

the tree: sorry luce i can't have lunch with you today

small bean: ooooh, and why is this, little john?

the tree: i'm just not hungry

small bean: yeah yeah and i'm cinderella

small bean: are you seeing someone? someone dark haired maybe?? 👀

Thomas blushed a little and put his phone back into the pocket without answering.

“Ready to go?”

“Yep,” Thomas followed Alastair through the exit and together left the university.

They sat in the same place as the last time. Even on the same table. Thomas liked that.

“Okay, I suggest not to miss our lecturers this time,” Alastair said.

“Agreed,” Thomas said, laughing. “I can't survive this class only on Lucie's notes.”

They talked about books. They both have read each other's favorite book now and had thoughts to share. Alastair passionately talked about one quatrains of Rubaíyat́ of Omar Khayyaḿ while Thomas was eating from his toast. Since he left London he has forgotten the pleasure of talking about books with someone who was as much investigated in it as Thomas.

Same as the last time the conversation went in different directions. They talked a little about themselves.

“I miss my friends and family,” Thomas admitted. “We were always together, very close to each other. It was weird at first when I came here, without them being around.”

“Tell me about them.”

With almost every other person Thomas would think they were trying to make small talk. Alastair though, Thomas knew, didn't speak things he doesn't mean.

So Thomas told him. He told him about his sisters but not much about Barbara who had passed away because he felt like this was too personal. About the Merry Thieves and a little bit about how they're families were friends.

In return Alastair told him about the cities he had traveled to and what he likes about them, which places were beautiful, the history of them. After his parents' divorce when Alastair was almost 18, he, Cordelia and Sona moved to Paris because the siblings wanted to study here.

They could talk for many more hours but an alarm sharply interrupted them. It was Alastair's phone. He shut it down.

“This is for me. My lecture starts after ten minutes.”

“Oh,” Thomas couldn't hide his disappointment. “Okay.”

“Hey, do you want... to meet tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow is Saturday?” Thomas said, confused. “We don't have classes.”

“I know,” a strange look appeared on Alastair's face. Thomas in shock realized it was nervousness. “Actually, I... I’m asking you to go on a date with me.”

Thomas' heart skipped a beat. It was impossible to stop the smile on his face.

“Okay.”

•

“You're nervous.”

“I am not,” Alastair said defensively. Cordelia arched an eyebrow. “Okay, maybe a little bit.”

“Try not to freak out too much. He's just a guy.”

“A guy with a cute smile.”

“Yeah,” Cordelia laughed. “But you're cute too.”

Alastair frowned at her. “Don't you have homework?”

“I have,” she admitted. “But I also have a brother who has a date.”

Alastair sighed. “He is far from the first guy I have a date with.”

“But he's the first after you-know-who.”

Alastair shook his head. “His name is not a trigger. You can say it. And it doesn't matter. It was a long time ago.”

It wasn't too long ago and Alastair maybe wasn't too happy about his situation with Charles but Cordelia didn't need to know this.

Alastair out on his shoes and coat. The weather wasn't too chilly.

“Actually, I meant... Doesn't matter,” Cordelia said. “Just have fun, remember he is just a guy as nervous as you and don't break his heart because he's Lucie's friend and I like her.”

Alastair couldn't help it but smile. He kissed his sister's forehead and went out.

•

Thomas saw Alastair coming and tried not to look too anxious or look if his clothes were okay. 

And he tried his best not to stare at the gorgeous view Alastair was.

Alastair led them on the way to the place he had in mind. It was far from the center, in a small alley that had one beautiful fountain. As they entered the small restaurant Alastair said a few words to the staff member and she immediately led them to their table.

It wasn't what Thomas imagined. They went upstairs. This floor was definitely emptier than the first one - the tables were farther from one another, with only a couple of people on them.

Their table was on the balcony. Thomas' breath stopped when he saw the view. He barely noticed as they sat and the waiter put menus in front of them.

Paris was beautiful during the night. The city of lights. The Eiffel Tower stood gold and sparkling.

“It's beautiful,” Thomas said and turned to Alastair. He caught him staring at Thomas with a smile on his lips. 

“It really is,” Alastair said and also looked at the view before opening his menu. “I got lucky to reserve a table here. Part of which was that my mother and the owner are good friends,” Alastair laughed.

Thomas smiled and also opened his menu. “So. What do you recommend?”

Alastair carefully scanned the page he was on. “The toast is awesome. And the desserts are unique. Here is the best tiramisu in Paris.”

“You really like coffee, don't you?” Thomas said with a smile.

“Yes,” Alastair said. “I admit, I do love coffee a hella lot.”

Soon the waiter came to take their orders. After he left, Thomas said, “I'm curious about something. How did you come out? Wait, are you out to your family? Is this a sensitive topic? Oh god, I'm so-”

“It's okay,” Alastair laughed. “Do you always ask every guy such questions on the first date?” he teased.

Thomas blushed a little. “Well. Sometimes,” he cleared throat. “Anyway! Answer my question. Or don't if you don't want to.”

“I'll answer,” Alastair said, trying to hide a smile.“I came out to Cordelia first, a few years ago. Then she convinced me that coming out to Mâmân wouldn't be a disaster. And she was right. It was difficult at first. But it's mostly fine right now.”

The waiter came with their drinks - ginger beer for Thomas and black decaffeinated coffee for Alastair. 

“How about you?” Alastair asked after they were alone again. “Are you out?”

“I am kind of out to my family and friends too, yes.”

“Kind of?” Alastair arched the eyebrow.

“It's a funny story actually,” Thomas said. “At first, one of my cousins, Anna, came out as non-binary lesbian. Not long after this Matthew, one of my best friends, came out as bi. And you see, in some way they cleared the path for me. When I came out no one was even surprised. I think they kind of expected everyone to come out as gay at some point,” Thomas laughed.

He didn't mention how sickly anxious he was to come out because he was worried his parents would react bad. Or how he worried his friends and sisters won't understand. Or the irrational, freezing fear to let even one person know something so personal about him. 

They talked more about London. Alastair said he was there only once but would like to visit again. They joked that Lucie would drag Cordelia there for the first holiday that appears.

At some point they started to talk about Paris. Which museums they have visited so far. Alastair was scandalized Thomas hasn't visited the Louvre yet. They agreed they should go to one museum together some day.

It was a beautiful night, warm, with a nice breeze. They talked for long, so long they were the only ones left in the restaurant. In another time, in another life the same was happening. They were both different people, with different pasts and so different memories, unsaid words and broken hearts. But as the city of light was watching over them tonight they had this sweet memory, echoing through the centuries.