#This post was meant to be a couple sentences long where did all these paragraphs come from

[dollarstorevampyre]

Something that I think about every so often is the fact that Merrick has a last name. A last name that we only hear once. That we only hear in the FINAL EPISODE of all places and it’s never touched on again. Like, ok, up until that point it was kinda assumed that Animaria wasn’t really a society that had last names; given its existence being placed 3000 years ago, it was presumable that it wouldn’t have been a present cultural thing since last names as a common practice didn’t properly start in the West until around the medieval period. (Though to be completely fr the geographic location of Animaria is pretty spotty; I say west because iirc one of the show runners wanted to give this fictional ancient civilization a “Celtic aesthetic”. But I digress)

The only other Animarians we know about are Princess Shayla and Pardolis (that ancient warrior who’s namedropped in ep6); neither of whom are given last names. But you know what? Fine okay. Shayla is royalty, who typically aren’t referred to with surnames (usually at least; there’s often a presence of family, dynasty, or “house” names, but we’re going to assume Animaria society might not have been that complex). And Pardolis, well, we only hear his name in one episode. It’s possible he could have had a a surname and they just didn’t mention it. We didn’t hear the names of any of the other ancient warriors after all.

also the origin of Merrick’s last name??

Like, the first time I heard it I thought it was French. I swear to god I heard Phillip Andrew pronouncing the name with a silent n and my mind jumped to French. But a quick online search yields the result that it’s apparently FILIPINO in origin?? (Well, one website guessed that it came from a Spanish word so I guess it’s Spanish in origin[?])

…This might have opened more cans of worms than I thought it would….

Given the Gaelic roots of the names Shayla and Merrick and the pseudo Latin thing they have going on with “Pardolis,” plus the whole “Celtic aesthetic” of Animaria, I had initially assumed they were implying the kingdom was located somewhere in Europe. But then there’s the whole thing with the Animarium lifting into the sky and leaving behind Turtle Lake (And Turtle Cove is supposed to be in Colorado? Apparently? Someone correct me please), as well as the whole thing with traces of Animaria being found in the Amazon rainforest that led to Cole’s parents embarking there. Like I said earlier, the exact location of Animaria is spotty. So really, geographic location is no help in trying to understand naming conventions or the exact language system they would use for determining names.

But just to temporarily segue back to Merrick having a last name at all; they really just threw that in there at the end as if this was knowledge we all had this entire time? It just throws me for a fucking loop to hear everyone saying their name against Master Org in the final battle and Merrick just calls out this surname that had never been mentioned beforehand. Why does he get a last name? What did last names mean in Animaria society? Does it denote a noble status? Or the opposite, that last names were only used amongst the common people? Does this connect in any way to Merrick’s inferiority complex; is having a surname a hint that he came from the lower classes and that adds on to why he feels so unworthy of being in a romantic relationship with Princess Shayla? What the fuck does his last name even mean?? Was the rest of the team aware of his last name and that’s why none of them had the reaction I’m having during the final battle? Did he tell it to them offscreen? How soon after meeting them? Does this man tell his teammates anything? Did Shayla tell it to them? Why does he have a last name?

[thetruthaboutlovecomesat3am]

i’m OBSESSED with your work😍😍😍😍 all your avalance fics are incredible!!! i’d love to see some jealous!sara if it’s possible?? 🥺🥺 thank you for sharing your masterpiece with us

Hi anon, thank you so much! I don't really do short stories for Avalance, and I don't think I'll post to ao3 again soon (if ever).

That said, I love to talk about my writing and as I've mentioned one of my current WIPs is a cyrano/half of it AU, there is a jealous!Sara paragraph which I think fits but I have to warn you there is no real ending as this is an extract from a random chapter!

If you want a sneak peek here it is!!

Ava’s the designated driver to the victory party at Kenny’s – one of the seniors – house. They get to the Jiwe’s to pick up Amaya and Charlie, while Ray is picking up Zari, Berhad and Sara.

Ava’s mostly silent, but luckily Nate and Amaya fill the silence with their flirting. She parks Nate’s car outside and they head in and she’s just happy she doesn’t have to listen to her cousin trying to woo Amaya.

They last ten seconds before she turns around and realizes she’s alone. Great.

She picks up a glass and fills it with water so nobody will insist on bringing her a drink. She makes a beeline for the couch and plops down beside Berhad.

“Hey, did you already lose everyone too?”

“Yeah, Sara saw her sister, Ray had to make a phone call, and Zari said she needed to find someone-”

“Charlie said the same,” Ava rolls her eyes. “Do they think they’re sneaky?”

“Right?! I thought I was going crazy,” he whispers-yell, turning to her more. “I mean, my sister has always filled my ears with boy-talk, but since a couple months ago… puff!” He makes a vanishing motion.

She scoots closer to him. “Not to gossip but they avoid each other in class an awful lot for two people who are always together,” Ava raises her eyebrows playfully and chuckles.

He smiles back. A moment later they’re pushed apart by Sara sitting down between them. Ava frowns and scoots back, Behrad just rolls his eyes, used to her antics.

“Hey, watcha guys talking about?” She sips her drink casually.

“Love, dude,” Behrad nods solemnly. “Speaking of which, I’m going to step outside for a minute.”

Ava watches him go, a little baffled. “What was that?” She asks Sara after a second.

“Oh, he’s just going to smoke,” Sara chuckles. That is not what Ava meant, and she suspects Sara knows it. Ava gives her an unimpressed look. “I’m sorry, did I interrupt something?” She asks, feigning innocence.

“Yes, I was talking to my friend, and you obviously wanted to meddle,” Ava rolls her eyes.

Sara shrugs. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Ava looks at her pointedly, making Sara roll her eyes.

“Do you like B, or something?”

“What?! No!” Ava frowns. “Do you?”

“No,” Sara says just as harshly.

“Really, because you almost…” Ava’s sentence fades out when she sees Sara isn’t paying attention anymore. She follows Sara’s eyes to the windows on the front yard, where Oliver and Laurel seems to be arguing, until she shakes her head and walks away, whilst Oliver walks back towards the house. She swallows, turning back to Sara. “Are you-”

“I’m fine,” Sara says, getting up without looking at Ava. “Have fun with B.”

[...]

“I’m sorry about earlier. It’s cool if you like B, he’s an amazing guy.”

“Behrad and I are just friends, Sara.” Ava reiterates. “I like talking to him, but if there’s something between you, I don’t want to get in the middle of it, I’m not interested in him that way.”

“Me neither,” Sara mumbles. She opens her eyes, turns her head to look at Ava. “My life’d be easier if I was,” she chuckles at a joke that she’s the only one privy to. Ava’s expression must be confused and a little hurt, because Sara turns serious again, scooting over and leaning her head on Ava’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. For being rude.”

Ava lets out a long breath, trying to calm her pounding heart. “I don’t get you. You opened up to me, I did the same, you calmed me down during the game. I thought we were getting along and then a second later you don’t want me talking to your friends.”

“It’s not- you can- it’s just,” she presses her forhead to Ava’s shoulder more firmly. “Can’t you talk to me?”

Ava is just so confused. She’s talking to Sara right now. Not that it’s going great, or even decently, but she’s trying. She is. “Okay,” she agrees without understanding, chalking it up to Sara’s drunken state. “What do you want to talk about?”

Sara is silent for a long moment. “What was your go-to song, the last time you were brokenhearted?”

Ava’s blood freezes in her veins. The letter. Does Sara know? That it was her?

“For me it was ‘I Found’, by Amber Run. Listened to it until I hated it. What was yours?” Sara asks again.

No, of course, she can’t know. It’s just a question to pass the time, it’s a question she’s read in the letter and that she remembered by chance. “’Mine’, by Taylor Swift.”

“Aw, that’s cute, Aves,” she chuckles, low and sweet. “What did Nora say when you told her you were in love for the first time?”

Ava remembers, of course. It’s why she’s put the question in the letter in the first place. “That I was the last one to know.”

Sara snorts. “I can see that happening. Zari said that I was an idiot and Amaya told me it would end very poorly, both of them were right, obviously.” She’s closer to Ava, now, and her hand goes to clutch Ava’s shirt, when she asks: “What’s your favorite color?”

“Blue. What’s yours?”

“Black, duh,” Sara answers but her voice is sleepy and her head feels heavier on Ava’s shoulder. Sure enough, a few seconds later, she’s lightly snoring.

[h0n3yk1tt3n]

7 8 10

Ahhh the joys of reblogging multiple ask games with numbered questions within a day and not being able to tell which one is the current subject <3 (this just means you're getting the answers to six questions instead of three! Plus I'm bored and I don't mind lol)

7. Share a line or paragraph that you don't think will ever actually be posted in anything! (Or, if you don't hoard cut sentences and paragraphs like I do, share anything you want that has yet to see the light of day!)

Prefacing this by saying I know that Jake is implicitly an only child in canon. Counter argument, shut up /j oldest child syndrome made worse by absent parents. My defense:

Alana kept her voice as level as she could, despite her frustration. "Can you be an adult for just a couple minutes, please?"

A fist hit the table. "I've had to be the adult since I was thirteen!"

Alana startled at the harsh constriction in Jake's voice, his once casual and flippant demeanor turning so fast that it just about gave her whiplash.

A mirthless laugh choked Jake as he threw a hand out. "Criminal parents fucking off to who knows where all the time meant that someone needed to grow up! Someone needed to be responsible and make sure that the kids were happy and safe! And sometimes-"

His voice wavered, breath shaking as he looked off at the wall instead of at Alana.

"Maybe sometimes I just wanna be a kid. Get excited about Kiddie Land. Go down a Giant Slide. Just," he gave a hopeless shrug, "pretend things aren't so fucked up, at least for a little while. Long enough to not... burn out on being the adult, right when I really need to be."

—Tales From the Lagniappe

This is really rough atm but hopefully it gets the point across dbdjebdh

8. Is there a story idea that you would love if it could appear fully realized but that you do not think you'll ever write yourself?

Halo au would be fun. I say, as if I have a real Story in mind for it besides a couple scenes and Vibes lmao. I have so many Concept stories that I just never actually touch in any meaningful way, hell it's a miracle if I ever doodle anything for them.

10. If you could banish a single trope to live at the bottom of the ocean, never to be seen by any human eyes (or at least your own), which trope would that be?

The simple fact that I don't know by virtue of not reading super often goes to show that I don't feel strong negative emotions about any particular trope (and that im not adventurous lmao /hj.) Anything can be executed beautifully or terribly.

I once criticized coffee shop and adjacent aus for being nothing burgers by (generally, i can think of at least one exception) ending after character A gives B their number, but like? I don't have enough vitriol to cast such aus into the ocean lol, they can stay

7. A fic of yours you think is underrated?

Besides my 4 year old coping-with-quarantine project that spiraled into almost 330k words of length and became So Personal, probably Joyride. I blame its lack of attention on the fact that I just shat out a one-sentence summary and assumed that would be enough for those that had already read Weakness lol (hi becca)

8. What's the best summary you've come up with?

The fact that the L2C summary was so long that it wouldn't fit into ao3's character limit (but that it wasn't long enough/was too summarizey to be its own chapter or part of the prologue) and had to be broken into the summary and beginning notes goes to show how much I cared about making it Perfect™️ lol

10. Do you read your own fics for fun?

Not super often but yeah! Usually as a post-upload riding the high ya know? Swallow Up Your Heart of Gold actually keeps popping into my brain and I gotta get a hit of that sweet sweet hurt/comfort <3

In fact I would often reread rps that a friend and I did so get that same hit

I'm lonely and touch starved I bet you couldn't tell

[traibm1]

Eighth Class

Our eights Fundimentals Class surrounded Adobe InDesign. This software is very good for page design, which is what we learnt about in this lesson. Firstly, we opened it up, and learnt about columns. We split our page into two columns, and then filled it up with filler text. The filler text is all in latin, so I have no idea what any of it meant. We then changed the font to arial, to make it simpler to use.

We then edited the paragraphs within the text. Inside of InDesign, a paragraph is defined as the text from when you press enter at the end of a previous paragraph, to where you press enter and the end of the current paragraph. Because of this, you can have individual "Paragraph Styles" for each paragraph. We needed to get rid of "Widows" and "Orphans" at the end of paragraphs. Widows and Orphans are the name for one or two words respectively that may be hanging off the bottom of a paragraph, so we edited paragraphs individually to make them look a bit cleaner. We also learnt specific buttons for more precise text highlighting, which are in my notes at the end of this post.

With Widow Without Widow

We then got rid of hyphenation in our text, meaning when a word is too long for a sentence, so it gets split onto the next line with a hyphenation. Getting rid of this makes the text much easier to read, and much cleaner to look at overall. After getting rid of Hyphenation, we added headings to sections of our text. We bolded the headings to make them stand out, and then appropriately spaced them from each section of the text. We did all this by creating a new Paragraph Style specifically for headings, and applying it to all the text we wanted to have as headings.

Next we added a section with Bullet Points. Bullet Points are used to list. We did this again with the Paragraph Style menu, by making a new paragraph style specifically for the sections we wanted to bullet points. We then tweaked our paragraph style to make sure the bullet points fit in properly with the rest of the text.

We then went onto text styles. This allowed us to make styles like the paragraph styles, but for specific sections of text, like a couple of words. We did this with Italics, which are the slanted words. We also made them bold just to make them easier to see within the text, just for this example.

Next we learnt about images inside of InDesign. The first thing we learnt was a space saving technique, which summed up is to pretty much never copy and paste images into things, but rather download the image and then open it inside of the programme we use. This saves space, and also means when you edit the image in another software, the edits show up in every other software. This is shown in the images below. We demonstrated this with Photoshop and InDesign.

Continued in Part 2...

[iwadori]

Atsumu dating Kita's younger sister (their manager). That's it. That's the request. Hope you like this prompt 🤞😅

Dating your brothers teammate (Atsumu)

Part One Part Two Part Three

Word count: 1.6K

Genre: angst, fluff

ATSUMU

You and Atsumu started dating a month after Kita introduced you in your first year

You’re now in your second year and still going strong

However, no ones knows about your relationship since Atsumu said you being the manager and him being the setter it will affect the team dynamic?

You start the day off, seeing a message from your boyfriend,

‘Tsumu: Mornning babe, can’t wait to see you today!

You don’t respond, you are Atsumu have been at odds for the past few weeks as you feel like you guys should make your relationship public. Not even public per se, but you definitely feel it shouldn’t be hidden away especially with it being nearly two years of you being together.

Of course, Atsumu disagreed. He felt like at this moment you and him revealing your relationship to the team will just mess up the ‘dynamics’ or whatever that’s supposed to mean.

You get ready for school eating the breakfast your grandma made you and conversing with her and Kita before you both headed off to school together meeting Aran on the way.

You had an early morning practice and you didn’t mind it. To be honest, you love being around the team you were all a little family, you having a good relationship with all the guys.

This morning, the guys were all practicing different sorts of skills Kita was helping some of the gives with dives and receives and the rest doing other things. You were helping Osamu, Suna and Atsumu with there serves. 

Regardless of your public or private relationship status with Atsumu, you the twins and Suna were all good friends. You did have a slight inclination that Osamu and Suna knew of the relationship with you and Suna but just didn’t bring it up.

At the end of practice, the usual fan club was there waiting for the twins and the other guys to flirt and talk with them. As you are their manager, you did get some slight hate and jealousy from the other girls in your year but you didn’t pay no mind to it. 

When leaving practice, Atsumu (who usually walks with you to your class) gets stopped by a girl who seems to have something important to say so you politely step to the side (still in ear shot though.) 

“Miya-san” she said a bit nervous as her finger were shaking “I have this letter I would like for you to read.” 

He took the letter and said “Thank you, and you can just call me Atsumu” he smile at her.

“Thank you Atsumu, I hope to hear a response to you soon” she says about to walk away “Also, just to clarify you are single right?”

“Yes yes of course” he assures quickly making you annoyed “Why did you ask?”

“I assumed you were dating your manager, you seem pretty close”

“Oh her” he laughs and you already start to walk to your lesson leaving him behind “we’re just friends”

This makes the girl smile as she leaves, Atsumu turns to where you were standing shocked that you were completely vanished. He did think back to the conversation you had a week ago about your relationship status which did make him kind of sad for you since he did understand your reasoning he just wanted to you atleast wait it out till nationals is done.

He finds you at lunch, and to him it seems you don’t have a problem with him at all as you were being your usual smiley self interacting with him and all of your friends. So he assumed everything was fine (which it wasn’t of course.)

The next day at practice, when it ended the same girl came back again this time with friends and instead of approaching Atsumu they decided to approach you.

“Hi you’re the manager right?” one of them asks.

“Yup I have been for the past couple years.” you say 

“Oh and you’re definitely not dating any of the guys on the team right?”

“I don’t see why it’s any of your business, but no i’m not.” it pained you to say this but you did agree with Atsumu to say you weren’t dating to people and as much as it pained you to say this you couldn’t break your ‘agreement.’

Once the girls leave, you start to softly cry because you don’t want to have to hide your relationship anymore. Atsumu enters the corridor and sees you upset and rushes towards you, “Hey babe what’s wrong with you?” he asks 

“Nothing ‘tsumu just go back to practice” you murmur 

“No i’m not going until you tell me whats wrong?”

“it’s just that girl that confessed to you yesterday and her friends approached me about if I was dating anyone and i-”

“what did you say, he told them no right?” he interrupts

“Is that all you care about? Wether I keep our relationship secret or not ..” you say slightly raising your voice 

“Well I would appreciate if you don’t go round telling the world that you’re dating me gosh Y/N” he shouts a bit 

“I’m not even fucking doing that, I havent told a soul and that’s all because of YOU” 

You’re screaming match has alerted the team (who you didn’t notice) and they all stood around you watching before Kita steps in “Y/N are you okay??”

“yeah i’m fine bro” you say preparing to leave with tears still in your eyes “I just got into an argument with a friend” 

Before you leave the corridor you look back at Atsumu and catch all the guys attention when you say “Also Atsumu, happy anniversay ‘babe’”

“I KNEW IT!” shouts Osamu but Suna nudges him telling him to ‘read the room.’ Kita slowly approaches Atsumu and punches him in the face “I don’t care what you did but you made my sister cry so you better go fix it you dick”

Atsumu nodded and clutched his face, “Also I think it was pretty evident that you guys were dating.”

“Wait they were dating?” said Aran

You were in your room, scrolling through old pictures of you and Atsumu and looking at the presents he was going to give him for your anniversary still crying. You hear a knock on your door “Granny, I’m not hungry right now” you shout. But the door opens anyways “Granny I said I wasn-” you pause when you see a bruised Atsumu ‘Kita’ you think making yourself smile at the thought of your brother coming to your defence.

“Y/N, i’m sorry baby for trying to hide our relationship and not seeing how wrong it was until it was knocked into me... literally” he says cautiously sitting on your bed “ I’ve always wanted to be able to show off to the world but I just couldn’t cause I thought Kita would be mad and I genuinely thought it would mess up the team dynamic, however I’d rather have Kita be mad at me and the team loosing nationals if it meant getting to date you”

His words make you swoon and to add on to your fawning he whips out a wrapped up box giving it to you. When you open it, you see it’s a necklace with both your initials on it “ Happy anniversay babe, this has been one of the best years of my life.”

You silently hand him your presents, murmuring a quiet “Happy anniversary.” After seeing your presents, he gives you a big deep hug whispering mutiple thank yous and compliments into your neck making you smile.

“So does this mean we’re in a public relationship? right?” you ask making sure you were on the same page.

“Of course!” he exclaims “Also check your phone”

You look down at your phone seeing a bunch of notifications all tagging you in one post that was from Atsumu on instagram. It was 8 pictures of him and you and a caption that read *insert long romantic sappy paragraph that I’m too lazy too write since its 3 am :3* 

Your heart was overwhelmed with love for Atsumu, you spent the rest of your night cuddling and watching movies and before you went to sleep you told him you loved him.

Waking up the next morning, you thought it was all a dream to be honest. Because there was no way that Atsumu did all that right? You go downstairs and are shocked at the sight you see, Atsumu and Kita both sitting down eating breakfast together “What are you doing with my boyfr-” you stop yourself from finishing that sentence,

“Its okay Y/N you can say boyfriend, I have given your boyfriend the talk I just had to make sure that he knows that if he was ever to lay a finger on you that he would definitely get a bi-”

“Ughh nii-chan you’re being so embarrasing” you say pulling Atsumu back upstairs hearing Kita’s laughter in the backround.

You and Atsumu, stay together and it wasn’t much of a suprise when your relationship was public to the rest of the school and that girl that wanted Atsumu she ended up with Osamu anyways (it does makes sense since they do have the same face afterall.) Kita enjoys his days embarassing the both of you whenever you’re at your house. But you don’t care since you can finally show off to the world how great your boyfriend is.

Authors Notes: I don’t know if you wanted it to have angst in it but I hope you enjoy? Might make this a series so if you want anymore characters Request them and I’ll write for them too 

[steelycunt]

ridi ridi hiiii !!! how are youuu how was yr dayyy i started mine off by rereading yr otiofad ficc did you know every sentence in it is a masterpiece did you know every word is like worthy of an auditoriumesque applause now yk i wanted to ask you to talk about that particular bit tho (if you wouldn't mind ofc !!) where sirius slams the book shut on an insect bc it's sooo like it's sooo !! it reads like premonition and also like r can't help but be wary of s and s can't help but be just like capable of harm regardless of intention & carelessly and i think it's sooo genius I think yr soooo genius for that and if you have more to say abt what that bit meant to youu + process of writing it + foreshadowing you wanted to get across w it etc. etc. i would be vv interested to hear <333 mwah love you loads xx

hello my lovely omg!!! my day was GOOD actually surprisingly good i am recovering from my illnesses and i played badminton and ate tangerines it was a very content day!! how was yours!! also warning you now in advance i wrote way too long a reply to this. like WAY too long NOBODY needed this im so sorry!! the very final paragraph provides like a little tl;dr you DO NOT need to read the essay that is under the cut!! im so sorry!!

okay firstly the idea that someone would not only read one of my little stories but read it more than once?? crazy actually!! insane!! so glad that it could be a part of ur morning n i would love to talk abt it!! hang on opening it in a new tab rn let me remember what it was i actually wrote huh lol

firstly with the flashback scenes in otiofad in general they had to serve two different purposes. they obviously needed to show the intense love and intimacy between the boys prior to The Incident, in order to juxtapose the post-prank scenes and serve as a marker for measuring the size of the rift in their relationship that its caused (which is why theres lots of kissing and cuddling and cloying monologues in the flashback scenes), but at the same time they had to demonstrate the little parts of their relationship which are a little bit fucked! a little bit unhealthy and obsessive. and they had to portray sirius as a person who has the capacity to do what he ends up doing. i didnt want to accidentally work against myself by over-idealizing their relationship to the point where it became difficult to believe sirius could be so thoughtless as to do what he does. like if ive just made you read fifteen hundred words of him being the Best Boyfriend Ever and then switch to him begging forgiveness for an attempted murder, his character becomes a little disjointed, and i really wanted it to feel like you're consistently reading the same people, just in very different circumstances. so the flashbacks very much needed to stress their intensity rather than their health as a couple.

im definitely roaming beyond the parameters of your question (but i promise it all circles back xx) but some of the sort of. i dont want to say red flag as much as cause for concern moments that i tried to include especially in the flashbacks include for instance: [Sirius says that sort of thing often, and with a confidence that Remus cannot ever fathom. Good god, how he would like to ask Sirius, them or me, that or me, and never fear the answer.] in the first scene, because i think remus' low self-esteem and his insecurity definitely affects their relationship + how he perceives it, which isn't anyone's fault as much as it is just them being young and imperfect like. theyre like sixteen here nobody had it together when they were sixteen right :-/ you have sirius utterly utterly obsessed with being in love with remus declaring that he doesnt want anything else from life and he's. sixteen years old. he's got no idea. like its that sort of rashness and impulsivity when he's speaking and acting which ends up fucking him over :-/

TO GET BACK to the bit you actually asked about (im so sorry for how long this is <3) the part where he closes the book on the spider. i mean honestly ur interpretation in the ask is pretty spot on!! its another one of the little stitches in the flashback scenes that sort of...slightly changes/sobers/brings the tone back down the reality a little, after theyve spent most of the scene cuddling and kissing etc. i'd already sort of tried (and i want to emphasise try at every point in this answer sfdghsh because i am not necessarily claiming that any of this was necessarily successful lol) to show sirius' capacity for being rash and obsessive, and the spider moment was just this tiny act of unnecessary, arguably cruel? violence that was meant to be jarring against the very over-sweet and gentle affection he's just shown remus. and although theyre acts of violence on such different scales, he gives just as much thought to sending snape to the willow as he does to squashing the spider. one of the things about sirius that i love soooo much is his relationship with violence and the way his anger translates into violence and cruelty (which remus mentions in the final scene when he says “You’ve got to stop being the kind of person who hurts people when they’re angry.”). its why hes SO fun to write angry because his anger is so distinctive lol. so the spider moment is just meant to serve as a little reminder of this random, mindless aggression that sirius carries around with him and that exists in tandem with all the affection we've seen him show remus, who starts in surprise when sirius slams the book shut. (i'll let u in on a super little fun (or not) fact that in my head when i was writing it i always drew a little parallel between the twitching insect leg thats left on the page and the similarly uncomfortable sensation of the eyelash that remus feels scratching his own eye immediately afterwards. thats not necessarily meant to come across n i expect it doesnt because i didnt develope the idea...at all...but in my head they were always a little linked teehee like even sirius' smallest acts of violence still have an effect on remus somehow xx)

but yeah!! apologies i didnt think this would be such a long explanation for a simple question fbhsdfhs im very embarrassed by this but like!! in short the spider was another little jarring moment designed to tether the version of sirius you get in the flashback to the version you get in the post-prank scenes, because ultimately he's the same guy with the same flaws both before and after the prank!! there was no reason for him to kill the spider like that and thats why hes so fucked. it was just his instinctive response to seeing it there.

[duckprintspress]

How can I write quickly?

I (hi, I’m @unforth) have been asked frequently over the years how I write a lot quickly. I’m a pretty fast writer - for example, I wrote the 5600 words of my May Trope Mayhem fill from yesterday in under 2.5 hours. 

First, a little of my personal history for context. I’ve always written, starting from when I was able to string letters into (very poorly spelled) words and (horrible un-grammatical) sentences. When I started trying my hand at serious, professional-level fiction writing, I joined a community called novel_in_90, which was founded by the author Elizabeth Bear. The purpose of novel_in_90 was “to be NaNoWriMo but more realistic.” Instead of 50,000 words in 31 days, it was 67,500 words in 90 days, or 750 words a day. I participated in multiple rounds of novel_in_90 starting in mid-2005, and in 2007 I completed my first (godawful) novel. When I started, even writing a couple hundred words of day took me forever, but it got easier with time. 

During those same years, I also got a job that required I do professional writing on a deadline: I was a grant writer, and I only got paid when the grants won. That often meant working fast under high pressure, culminating in the weekend I wrote and edited an entire 40 pages grant that was due on Monday. I think, if I hadn’t had a solid foundation of “regular daily plodding writing,” I’d not have been able to marathon when the moment came...and it came because I had to, not because I wanted to. However, I learned a valuable lesson: I could. Subsequently, I found that, when I had the time and space and was rested enough to use my brain, I could bust out a huge amount. Like, I wrote an entire 150,000 word novel in 17 days.

My personal record is about 200,000 words in one month (it was the month I wrote that novel; I wasn’t tracking when I did that so I don’t know exactly), 25,000 words in a day, and I’ve topped out around 3,000 words an hour. I do know people who can do more...but not many.

Not everyone will be able to do this. Flat out, I MUST preface the rest of this post by saying that. Some people will find that writing fast fits their brain, and for others, it just won’t, and that’s okay. Fast doesn’t equal better, and it isn’t inherently “good” to write fast. Furthermore, even for those who can write fast, not everyone will find the same strategies helpful. I can share what works for me. Try out one item, some items, or all of these - if writing faster is something you want to be able to do, which it certainly never has to be. Use what works for you, and discard the rest.

Sit in your chair, put your fingers on your keyboard or touch screen, and write. You can’t write 1,000 words in half an hour until you write one word, however long that one word takes. I know saying this is obvious, but I’ve been asked “how can I write fast” by people who struggle to write at all...fast can’t be your priority until you’ve got a foundation of just writing. (Honestly...fast should never be your priority, but it might be helpful to you regardless, which can make it worth learning.)

Start small. Set an achievable goal, and make yourself meet that goal (daily, weekly, whatever) come hell or high water, no matter how long it takes you. Keep the goal small at first; you’re not trying to torture yourself, you’re trying to build a skill. If you set the goal high enough that you consistently fail, you’re not teaching yourself anything. And, if you find the goal IS too high...lower it. There’s no shame in working within your limits. Think of it like starting a new work out regimen: you wouldn’t try to run a 10k at a record time if you can’t run a mile slow. Treat your fingers and your brain the same way you’d treat your legs and joints. Give them time to grow, learn, and improve before you try to push yourself.

Trying to write daily is worthwhile if you want to work on your writing speed, because you’ll be forced to try to fit it in as you’re able - that might be ten minutes in your morning, or an hour in your evening, and it might vary from day to day, but making it daily means you have to fit it in somewhere.

Building skills takes time and isn’t easy. For some people, it will come easier than for others, and even when you’re fast, going from “I can write words fast” to “I can write damn good words fast” takes practice and dedication and accepting constructive criticism - speed alone will never be worth more than writing well.

Having a community can help. Ya’ll will check in on each other, cheer each other on, remind each other that missing a day or a goal isn’t the end of the world, and keep each other’s spirits up. If you don’t know other writerly folks online, I recommend Weekend Writing Marathon ( @weekendwritingmarathon ) as a good place to start (I used to be a mod there). Once you’re trying to work up to larger word counts in a day, remember that even writing fast will take minutes or hours. You can’t write 2,500 words in an hour if you don’t set an hour aside. Make sure you’re giving yourself the room and time you need to succeed.

You will probably never be able to do high, rapid word counts every day, every week, every month. The best runners in the world don’t run marathons every day. Set realistic long term goals.

Work on projects where you have a clear idea of where you’re going. I’m not saying “pantsers” can’t write fast, because of course they can, but if you want to write fast, and well, and coherently, to create a first draft that’s in pretty good shape, you’ll do better if you have a good sense of what you’re trying to accomplish with your story. That doesn’t mean you need to do all your world building up front, or have a complete outline (I never have either). All you really need is what happens next. I tend to plan projects - and write them - one full scene at a time, with only a vague idea what’s going to come after. (I’m personally a “plantser,” and the strategies in this post will likely be most effective to other plantsers.)

Visualize ahead of time what you’d like to write...but don’t get too attached to what you visualize. When I go to bed, I plan the next scene I’m going to compose, often to the least detail. I then forget all of it overnight, at least all the specifics, and I’m left with a general sense and shape of what’s to come. You’ll never be able to replicate the “perfect” dialog you pre-conceive, so give up on trying to. Instead, play through the scene and think about the emotional beats you want to hit and plot points you want to forward. If you keep that in mind, you’ll be able to get the words out faster than if you’re agonizing over every word or regretting the “oh-so-great” idea that you’ve since forgotten. 

Practice different work styles. If writing every day doesn’t work for you, try instead saying, “this is my writing day each week,” and aim for a lot that specific day, and write little or nothing other days. Try writing at different times of day and on different days, fitting it into your schedule. If you’re beating yourself up for not writing when you “should,” it’ll be that much harder to succeed, so instead, as I said for point 2 - set a reasonable goal that fits your life and working style, fitting it around your other responsibilities, and push yourself within that framework, instead of trying to shoehorn into a style that you “think you should” use to succeed. 

Track your word counts, and take notes on how much you did and what project you were working on. If you’re also experimenting with different times of day and different days, make sure you note that too. I personally use a simple Excel sheet (well, Google Sheets, now) - column one is the date, column 2 is “starting word count,” column 3 is “ending word count,” column 4 is “=column 3 - column 2”, column 5 is notes. Pay attention to when you succeed at writing faster, and when you don’t, and consider what factors might have played into your success...and then try to replicate those factors next time you’re doing a sprint. Control as many variables as you can while you’re “training.”

If you find social media distracting, trying getting a web browser extension that prevents you from connecting to websites for a set period of time.

If you find you tend to dither before starting, I find it helpful to run through everything that I might do to procrastinate (check my social media! grab a snack! make some tea! set up my playlist! check my social media again! finish making the tea! check my social media for what I swear will be the last time!), and when I’m done, it’s like, well, I’ve done all those things, I’ve got no choice left, time to write, no excuses left.

If you find you struggle with picking up a WIP, try leaving off in the middle of a sentence at the end of a session, one where you know exactly how it ends - or, leave off mid-paragraph, or when you are positive you know what happens next (and I mean literally next, as in the very next sentence.) It’s much easier to “pick back up” when your first words are super clear. (Do not do this if you think there’s any chance you’ll forget or end up in a situation where you won’t return to your WIP for months!) 

If you find you struggle to maintain continuity across multiple writing sessions, try rereading what you wrote the previous day before you proceed. Resist the urge to edit it!

Avoid stopping when you get stuck, even to do research. Don’t know a fact? Add a comment to your manuscript flagging the relevant text, “LOOK THIS UP LATER.” Can’t think of a word? Put in something you can use the “find” function on easily (I personally use “XX” since there are no words that have a double x in them) and so you can come back later, search for your chosen placeholder, and fill in the blanks. Not sure how a scene ends but know the next scene? Jump ahead.

That said, if you really don’t know what happens next, you don’t do yourself any favors by pressing on. As I’ve said previously, speed alone should never be your writing object. It’s better to slow down, consider your plot, figure out where you’re going, and then write, than to just plow ahead - or at least, that’s better if you want a manuscript you’ll actually be able to use for something at a later point. If you’re truly just practicing, you can also say “screw it, who needs coherence?” and keep going. I’d personally never have finished my first novel if I’d spent a lot of time worrying about making the pieces fit together and yeah, it’s a mess, but it’s a mess I wrote instead of a mess I got stuck on and never completed.

Don’t move the finish line. If you’ve set the goal of 500 words a day, don’t beat yourself up if you get 550 because you think you think you could have done more. If you say you’ll write five days a week, don’t get mad because you DID have time the sixth day but chose to use it on something else. If you make yourself feel like shit when you succeed, what’ll happen when you fail? And when you’re comfortable and really think you’re ready, change the goal - reassess every month, say, and up your goals. While working for speed, trying upping your word count goal without changing the amount of time you allot for working.

Your need to adhere to the above suggestions will change over time. Once, I always had an outline; now I often don’t need one. Once, I wouldn’t let myself stop even to use a thesaurus; now, I find I can look up words without breaking my flow or significantly slowing myself down. This is not an “all or nothing” prospect, nor is it a “do things the same way forever once you’ve found one (1) thing that works” prospect - you’ll experiment, and find strategies that work for you, and then at some point, your needs will change, and you’ll experiment more, and find new strategies that work for you, on and on, as your skills grow. 

To reiterate: writing fast should never be your objective in and of itself! Greater writing speed will come with practice and as a general side effect of improving your craft. Simply being able to write fast is useless; being able to write fast and well will enable you to get more of your ideas out there, so if that’s something you’d like to accomplish, focus on building your general skills and training yourself to be able to use those skills rapidly and in tandem with each other to produce decent writing, in a first draft, at a decent speed.

Once you try, you may find none of this works for you! That’s okay. That’s good! You tried, which means you learned something about yourself and your own writing style, and that too will help you to improve. Keep experimenting, keep learning, and find what does work for you - and accept that no two writers will ever be the same, and one of those differences will be writing speed. Some writers will never write fast, and that’s doesn’t make them any less awesome or valid. And some writers will always write fast, and that doesn’t make them inherently awesome or valid. Only with a suite of skills that suit your individual life, personality, work style, writing capabilities, goals, etc., will you succeed as a writer (for various, personalized definitions of the word “success”); speed is only one of those potential skills, and not one that’s particularly important in my opinion...yet I still get asked about it fairly often, so here we are, these are my suggestions

Go forth, and write some words! <3

[myhoneststudyblr]

i received an ask from @sunset-study asking me how to annotate texts so i thought i would do a post giving some of my tips! as an English literature student, i spend a lot of my time doing annotations on loads of different types of texts so i think i have some good advice that i can give. i hope that you will find this helpful and if you have any other questions, please feel free to send me an ask!

disclaimer: these are my personal tips and experiences and i’m sure that there are many more that are relevant. i have tried to do a little bit of research to get some other ideas which hopefully will make this a useful post but as always i appreciate others adding their opinions and advice in the comments!

[Estimated Reading Time: 7 minutes]

What is covered:

General Tips

Things to look for

Specific Tips for Annotating Novels

Specific Tips for Annotating Plays

Specific Tips for Annotating Poetry

Other resources

General Tips

don't just highlight. this is very passive and often you will not really be taking in what is important. 

pencils are great for annotating. if you are anything like me, when you are annotating, you often are doing it as the thoughts come into your mind so a pencil allows you some leeway to erase and refine ideas. also when you are writing in a book, i personally do not have enough confidence to write in pen.

don’t annotate extensively the first time you read. often on a first read, you don't see the recurring imagery or features because you don't have the whole context so don't annotate deeply the first time you read something. that said, it can often be good to jot some questions in the margins that you have because these can be useful to remind you of your thoughts when you reread. 

think of some symbols to indicate important or interesting parts. for example, if it is a dramatic section, i will box it off and put a big exclamation mark. or if something is confusing or unclear, use a question mark. i tend to put a star for a section that is important. you could think of symbols for humour, foreshadowing, particular themes or characters etc.

actually respond to the text. this seems like an obvious one but a lot of the time, because we are taught in schools all these fancy techniques, when we see one of them in a text we just highlight them and note that its a metaphor or simile or foreshadowing. what you should try to do is explain - briefly - why that is important and its effect. also if you have any personal reaction to it, note that down as well because this can be really helpful when writing essays because it shows that you’ve actually engaged with the text. 

practice, practice, practice. annotation is a skill and honestly it can be quite difficult because you need to often read between the lines and summarise, while also analysing. so take some time to focus on this skill and create your own method and shorthand.

Things to look for:

structure. are the paragraphs long? is sentence varied or does it remain quite consistent? are there any repeated words or phrases? what is the overall shape of the text? where does the narrative start? does the focus shift anywhere? 

language. what are the literary devices used in the text? if so, what is their effect? has the author used a particular semantic field? are there any usual words? are there repeated words? are there any individual words that stand out to you? what are the connotations of these words? are there any words that you don’t know? if so, what do they mean? is there any unusual syntax? 

characterisation and voice. who is speaking in the text? if it is third person, how ‘close’ or ‘distant’ are we to the character? can we trust the character? are they an unreliable narrator? what are their key features? do any of these features link to key themes? if so, where is that shown in the text? is the author using a particular voice in order to get a specific reaction?

themes. what themes is the author exploring? where does the author explore these themes? are particular opinions (either by a character or perhaps the implied opinion of the author) expressed on the themes? are there any words or phrases that link closely to this theme?

Specific Tips for Annotating Novels

SUMMARISE REGULARLY

a novel is often long and there is a lot of stuff to cover throughout it so it is really important to keep making sure that you understand what is going on. summarising will also help you when revising.

for example, after each chapter quickly summarise the key points in a few sentences - which characters were important, did the plot move forward in any important ways, what themes were explored.

you could either do this on a post it note or if you have space on the last page of the chapter. make sure that it is not too long. a few sentences is absolutely fine.

KEEP A LIST OF CHARACTERS 

characters are obviously very important in a novel so make sure you know who’s who and where they come into the book. you could write the list of characters or a little character map on the inside cover of the book, which you can refer to if necessary.

COLOUR CODE

i personally don't colour code that often when annotating. i usually only do it in important scenes and moments where there is a lot going on and things can get very confusing. that said, colour coding can be particularly useful to keep track of themes in the novel.

there are many different ways that you can do this. for example you could have a particular highlighter colour for each theme. you could also put coloured sticky tabs on the page so you can quickly find the themes throughout the novel. 

Specific Tips for Annotating Plays

This is mostly the same for novels so take all of the tips above and apply them to the play you are studying with two main - VERY IMPORTANT - additions:

NOTE THE DRAMATIC FUNCTION

a play is written to be performed and this has a huge impact on the text, because it can affect how we interpret a particular character, theme or scene. 

so it is SO SO important that you remember that it is being performed and think about the different ways that it could be acted and how the audience could respond to it. 

on that note, remember that every performance, actor and audience is different so try to think of ALL the ways it could be played and how our interpretation could differ

PAY ATTENTION TO STAGE DIRECTIONS

this is a related point to the one above. my GCSE English teacher used to go on about this all. the. time. because it is so easy to overlook them and not consider them a real part of the text. BUT they are such a key part because they can give hints to performance as well as the atmosphere which might otherwise be difficult to discern just by reading the dialogue. they can also be good ways to demonstrate character traits

Specific Tips for Annotating Poetry

NOTE GENERAL FEATURES (STRUCTURE, RHYMING, METER, CONTEXT, THEMES, ETC.) SOMEWHERE SEPARATE 

poems are obviously much shorter than plays and novels so they are often packed full of interesting language points to annotate. therefore if you try to add in all of this other stuff in your annotations using arrows, it is likely that it is going to get very full and confusing. 

therefore, i would suggest only directly annotating language features for the poem and writing your notes on the more general features of the poem elsewhere - for example on a post-it note, or if there is a bunch of white-space under the poem. then it is easy to find and refer to but won't mix with your annotations and make it confusing so that you feel that you need to rewrite more notes on the whole poem 

if there is a particular word or phrase that is important for the above features (for example, links significantly with the context or has unusual - and therefore probably significant - meter) you can notes this on the text using arrows but keep it specific and short. you can expand on it in more depth in your general notes

IDENTIFY THE TONE AND MOOD OF THE POEM

this is good to identify because it can help you focus on the language that is important and helps you to interpret the meaning. 

THINK ABOUT THE SOUND OF THE POEM

poems are usually meant to be lyrical and rhythmic in some way and read aloud. so think about how these words sound when you read it (are they harsh or soft) and consider the rhythm that the poet creates through punctuation. it could be helpful to consider a poem like the lyrics of a song and imagine what it would sound like if it were set to music 

rhyming is an important part of this and you could note - just for your own reference - the rhyme scheme (if there is one) using letters at the end of the line. but again, referring back to tip one of this section, talk about the rhyme scheme in greater depth elsewhere so as not to clutter your notes 

Other Resources

there are so many resources that you can find on the internet about annotation but here are just a couple that i thought were useful:

Annotation Guide Produced for AP Language Students

BBC Bitesize GCSE Revision Page on Annotating Texts

General How to Annotate Guide (Note: this is not just for literature but also for textbooks but has some great tips)

Annotating Poetry Guide

[currywaifu]

𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: mutuals 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: miyoshi kazunari/reader 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: sfw 𝐰𝐜: 1.9k words, 2 images

𝐚𝐧: me? back w/ fluff? it’s expected at this point! his speech is hard for me to replicate, but I rly do love Kazunari so I hope I did this scenario justice! I, uh, got too excited at the prospect of “insta mutuals” oops~ hope you don’t mind the additional media TT

The Insta notification that popped up on the top of your screen distracted you from the game you were playing. Normally you’d flick the notif away, but as soon as you realised what it was about, you rushed to finish the rest of the stage.

You and Kazunari have been Insta Mutuals for nearly a year now, ever since he hit you with a follow and you proceeded to stalk his readily-available socials. 

The two of you had been liking and commenting on each others’ posts for weeks on end, starting off with you praising his most recent graphic design work to him sending a paragraph of heart emojis on the most recent fan art you drew.

Somewhere in between following each others’ spam accounts to tagging each other on Insta story games, he finally slid into your DMs and the rest was history. Sort of.

You knew what people said about online dating, or even just long distance relationships in general, but try as you might it was hard not to fall for Kazunari.

The more you talked to him, the less he stayed as your “funny artist mutual” and soon enough he progressed into the “still funny but also really sweet and cute artist online friend, 10/10 would date if asked” category.

You didn’t bother stifling your laugh as you looked at the message he sent you, immediately liking his selfie before saving it on your phone.

Okay, no. He can’t just hit you with an “I do wanna meet u already” and then take it back but not fully commit to it!

You waited for him to respond through text, but instead got hit by your ringtone blaring loudly at such an ungodly hour. At the sight of your contact nickname for him, you eagerly answered his call. You rushed to get the first word in, him doing the same unbeknownst to you.

“Kazu-“

“Babe, I-“

The both of you paused, his eventual laughter easing up your tension as you let out a giggle of your own. You mentally told yourself not to be so nervous— Kazunari and you would have this conversation eventually anyway; besides, it wasn’t as if you didn’t want to see him in person. It was quite the opposite, actually. You just figured that conversations like this needed to happen in call, at least.

“Shoot, should probs shut up so Mukkun doesn’t wake up,” Kazunari commented, his voice volume already lowered, “do you wanna go first?” He asked.

“Yeah,” you replied with resolve. You gathered up your thoughts, formulating the next set of sentences that would leave your mouth, before ultimately deciding on one question. “I just need to know first… how serious were you about meeting up irl?”

“I mean, that wasn’t what I meant when I sent the message? But like, it’s still valid, you know?” he paused, but when you didn’t say anything he decided to continue, “it’s not the first time I’ve thought about meeting you. I think about it a lot, actually.”

It was a bit of a shame the two of you chose to voice call instead of video call. You would’ve loved to see your boyfriend’s face just about now, though you supposed it wouldn’t be a good idea to have a heart attack a quarter to 4 in the morning.

Plus, you weren’t sure you could handle him teasing and throwing compliments at you due to your clearly visible elation, if the upwards stretch of your lips was anything to go by.

“Babe? You still there? Did you pass out, or…” In reality it had only been a few seconds, but still you didn’t want to leave him hanging. Not when the two of you were talking about something that meant taking the next step in your relationship.

“I’m still here, Kazu,” you reassured him. Your voice shook slightly, a sliver of your excitement slipping through the cracks. “I’m the same. Like, no lie I was shocked we brought it up like this, but, um… I’m ready, and if you’re ready, too, I want to meet up with you.”

“Wait, wait, wait— hol’ up! So we’re finally going—“ he laughed for the second time tonight, a fuzzy-wuzzy warmth escaping as its sound equivalent. “Wahh! Of course I’m ready! Can’t wait to finally see what a cutie you are irl♪ Hngg, how am I supposed to sleep now? I’m too hyped up!”

You rolled your eyes, despite understanding exactly how he felt. His infectious cheerfulness amplified the blossoming commotion occurring inside your brain. Despite not making any official plans yet, the prospect of finally meeting up had you frenzied.

Still, one of you had to be at least slightly responsible. While you wouldn’t claim to know his daily schedule, if Veludo Arts was anything like your university, he should be as swamped with workload as you were. Actually, maybe that was the reason he was up so late? That’s how it was for you, anyway excluding the fact that you took a break to stamina clear.

“It’s nearly 4 am… do you wanna continue planning this tomorrow? Err, rather, in a couple hours? After our lectures end, maybe?” You asked, though by the tiny whine Kazunari let out you had a feeling he wasn’t going to agree so quickly.

“Ehh? Why don’t we do it now? I have so many ideas about where we could go, and what we could do… oh! I could introduce you to everyone in Mankai! I’m sure they’d love-“

“I’d love to meet them too,” you cut him off, tone as firm as you could manage at this time, “and I want to hear your ideas, really, but I just know if I let you keep talking the sun will rise before we’ve even decided on a date.”

You chuckled as Kazunari let out a sound of protest, though you had a feeling he knew you weren’t wrong about your assessment. “Zuzu~ Let’s go to sleep now, okay?”

His phone microphone picked up on an audible gasp. “Ehh, how come you rarely call me Zuzu? It’s cute when you say it!”

“Because it sounds like a nickname you’d give to a Pokemon!”

“Uwu, maybe I’ll get Itarun to lend me a copy? Then I’ll catch the cutest Pokemon and name it after you~” you nearly groaned at how fluffy he was being. Seriously, he was distracting you from your agenda of going to sleep!

“Kazu! Stop flirting with me at 4 am or we might not fall asleep!”

Though you couldn’t see him, you were 200% sure he had a wide grin plastered on his face right now. “Me? Using tactics to get you to keep talking with me? Never,” he claimed, professing his false innocence.

“Well, I’m not falling for it! I may not be able to physically tuck you in bed right now, but I can in spirit!”

“Oh!? Then can you give me a goodnight kiss in spirit, too?”

At this point, you were sure that even with just a poke on the cheek you’d be able to feel the heat beginning to envelop your face.

As Kazunari finished laughing, you let the quiet lull of the night seep in the conversation for a few moments before gently breaking it.

“I’d rather give you a kiss irl, though.”

And just like that, you claimed victory over the game he started. With how Kazunari sputtered, a part of you worried that he’d disturb his roommate’s slumber. Still, an even bigger part of you was smug to have him speechless for that much of a duration.

“Babeeeee,” he drawled, “you’re so, so, so unfair… I, like, really want to hold you tight right now…” he murmured, the rustle of his bedsheets discernible through the call. You found yourself nestling onto your bed, too, snuggling up to a soft pillow.

“Soon,” you suddenly yawned, your tiredness seeming to have settled in the comfier you got on the bed. “We’ll have a lot of time to plan tomorrow and the days after, yeah?”

Kazunari let out a hum in agreement, a comfortable silence following suit.

“Kazu?” You muttered quietly, careful not to disturb your peaceful atmosphere.

“Yeah?”

“I love you. Good night,” you said, heart aflutter as you heard his response.

“I love you, too, cutie~ sweet dreams♪” he said in an unbelievably soft tone, before ending the call.

After quickly connecting your phone to a charger, you fell back atop your bed and hugged your pillow tight, already anticipating the day you’d be able to hold Kazunari in your arms, and you in his.

…

Morning come, you hastily prepared for class as you always did. You fell into your usual routine— as soon as you were out of the bathroom, you selected an outfit and went over the things you needed to bring to uni today.

You stopped for a minute; taking a quick selfie to post on your story and emphasise your exhaustion to your close friends, before making yourself some breakfast. Within less than 5 minutes, your phone pinged— a recorded message from one of your favourite people this early in the morning.

"Mornin' piko☆ You're looking cute as always today♪”

There was no way you would admit to how many times you replayed it to Kazunari, but even so it was a good way to keep you positive for the rest of the day.

You don’t remember Veludo Way being this rowdy, though it was hard to trust your memory when it’s probably been years since you’ve last visited. Somehow, it was not tough to imagine Kazunari walking around and performing here— the liveliness of the streets difficult to not associate with one of the liveliest people you knew.

While the original plan was to meet up at a cute and trendy cafe you saw all over people’s SNS, the two of you agreed to meet up somewhere less crowded and more meaningful to him— the theatre which he’d performed at multiple times in the past.

As you saw the building from a distance, you wondered when you’d be able to see him on stage, too.

A shout of your name pulled you out of your thoughts, and you couldn’t help yourself from running over to meet up faster with the figure that was jumping and waving around in your direction.

Had you any sense left, you probably would have told him that you didn’t want him embarrassing himself in public, but in reality it was quite apparent that you were just as excited to finally see him in person.

“Kazunari!” you can’t help the little shriek you let out as you finally embrace him, only joyous laughter and each others’ names escaping the both of your lips. When you finally got a good look at Kazunari, you nearly wanted to bury yourself into his shirt again.

Everything still seemed so unbelievable. That this was real. That it was finally happening. It almost felt like the dreams you’ve had of this moment many times before.

“How are you so beautiful in person, too?! It’s totes like I’m falling in love with you again♪” Kazunari exclaimed, squeezing you one more time before finally settling on holding hands with you. “Ahh! I super, duper love you!”

Except it wasn’t. There was nothing imaginary about his warmth, and the way his words made you feel, and the beaming sunshine of a smile he aimed at you.

“I love you, too!”

want to order again?

[purplebass]

Alastair Carstairs and Charles Fairchild: Uneven Love

In this essay I will try to be as brief as I can about what it meant to be part of the LGBTQ+ community at the beginning of the XX century and a few points on why Charles and Alastair were an uneven/unbalanced couple. Have a nice read!

Being gay in Victorian/Edwardian London

Legality of Charlastair’s relationship

Uneven relationship

Before I start delving into this topic, I just wanted to tell you a few things about what it meant being part of the LGBTQ+ community at the beginning of the XX century. I will briefly tell you about Great Britain specifically because the story is set in London, but you have to understand each country has its movements of emancipation and its laws, so there are a few things which may differ. I will also just mention about homosexual relationships at this time.

Being a gay man in London at the beginning of XX century wasn’t easy, because if two men were caught together in compromising positions, they could be arrested and detained and accused of buggery or attempted buggery. There was a law passed in 1885 which condemned public indecency between males, and such law won’t be abolished until the 60’s of the XX century. The only places gay men were allowed to be themselves were the Molly Houses. Those places were like modern taverns, pubs, coffeehouses where they could meet and engage in sexual activities with other gay men. Speaking of Charles and Alastair, I do wonder if they met in such a place, although since the former is so obsessed with keeping the appearances, maybe not. Or maybe he went in secret, but let’s not forget that in 1902 Alastair was 17. 

Why is Charles so obsessed with his image?

For one, homosexuality was the opposite of the idea of “manliness” in Victorian/Edwardian age. During this period, what counted the most to British people was their image, how they appeared in public, and being gay was considered as a deviant act, an immortal act which was the evidence of a corrupt morality. A Victorian family had to be presentable, impeccable - the public sphere had to be pristine even if the private sphere was not. Charles Fairchild is a man of the public sphere because he’s sort of a politician’s figure who was born during the highest point Victorian mentality. It’s no wonder he is concerned with how others perceive him, and he sees his sexuality as a threat to his preferred career, which is all about “manliness”. Remember before Charlotte became Consul? Even there we saw the sexism of the Inquisitor and other members solely because Charlotte was not a man, hence, she couldn’t be “manly”. Charles would be regarded the same way, this is why he decided not to be openly gay. But mark my words, sooner or later he will because that is an inner conflict he has which is at war with his outer goal. 

I’ve seen people say that one of the first reasons why Alastair and Charles’ relationship was not appropriate is because Alastair was 16 and Charles was 22. Of course I agree. I wanted to check whether it was legal or not in the XX century, and I discovered that after the Criminal Law Amendment Act passed in 1885, the age of consent was 16, which meant that as much as I find it repulsing, Alastair and Charles could have a relationship and they wouldn’t be breaking the law except for the not so little detail that they were homosexual. Like I said above, homosexuals could risk a prison sentence. 

I want to tell you more about this topic but I don’t want to derail from the purpose of this essay.

First and foremost, from the interactions we had of them, you could tell Charles seemed to have promised things to Alastair, because when they speak in Chapter 11 of CoG, the latter is pained and all of his hopes are destroyed. “But you said - I thought” that is what Alastair says. That is the realization that he believed in Charles and what they shared in Paris. Charles says he doesn’t make “false promises”, which means that he may have already thought that their relationship could not be more than what it was - a secret affair. Secret because the act was illegal at the time, and affair because it’s clear Charles might have used Alastair’s affection to fuel his own ego.

I’m convinced that Charles may have an inferiority complex. His mother Charlotte is Consul, the first female Consul. I believe he admires her because despite being a woman, she could get this post because she is also very able with her job. Charlotte is someone Charles looks up to and wants to emulate, but as we see through CoG, Charles’ regent job is laughable. He slanders James, he seems to side with Tatiana whenever he is concerned without having evidence (you see, Tatiana may have manipulated Charles into doing what she wants). This is not what a promising Consul does, and Charles probably knows it. 

Then why Alastair?

Why, you say? For one, Alastair also likes politics. I hope he likes politics because he wasn’t influenced by Charles, but I’m convinced that is what Charles and Alastair bonded on; politics. I could see Alastair also getting into politics, by the way, but this is a chat for another time. 

Alastair, 17 year old Alastair, felt confident of baring his soul to Charles when they started getting acquainted. He was also very young, I think Charles was the first person that he recognized also loved men like he did. He lived in an age were homosexuality was punished, the majority of gay men tried to hide their sexuality not to be deemed immoral and deviant. I think Alastair was ecstatic that he had found someone he could like and who could like him back, and this is why he decided to be with Charles. We don’t know when this relationship started, but probably after 1899 and the Academy. Maybe Paris in 1902 was the first encounter they had because they couldn’t see each other all the time, maybe they had been together longer… I don’t know. I hate that we don’t know the exact timeline, but we may get it in the future.

I was saying. In Chapter 11 of CoG when Charles goes to Alastair’s house, he reveals that he loves him. “I have loved you since Paris,” Alastair says, which, like I said above, makes it impossible to define if they just had Paris and Alastair fell for him from that only moment of connection (because they might have had sexual interactions there, maybe Alastair lost his virginity to Charles - these are just my assumptions, I have no idea if I’m right).

The Paris affair also makes me think about: “We’ll always have Paris”, which is a famous line from Casablanca. What does it mean? The only thing the protagonists of that movie can hold onto is Paris, since WWII broke and they can only have the memory of what happened in Paris because they can’t be together/won’t be reunited. Rings a bell? 

Before I also add how prophetic it was for Alastair to find Thomas in Paris at the same moment he was waiting to spend time with Charles - because it was indeed a coincidence, but also how tricky fate is. Alastair was probably already attracted to Thomas in Paris, but he was loyal to Charles, otherwise… but this is also a chat for another essay.

Then Alastair and Charles kiss. The way Charles treats Alastair is very controlling: he doesn’t just reply “You know I do” when A tells him he loves him, he leads the moment and draws Alastair towards him for a kiss. Then they end up on the sofa, Charles on top and Alastair under him - which isn’t very casual, is also a way for Charles to control everything, because he knows fine well Alastair loves him and he’s indulging into the moment because he doesn’t dislike A, but he also doesn’t love him. Alastair gives Charles the validation he isn’t getting in his political sphere. (See a few paragraphs above).

Sex is also a way to exert power. We don’t know Alastair’s and Charles’s private lives in detail, but from the ways this scene is written, I can tell Alastair is the type who bares himself for the one he loves. Now that his heart was broken I don’t know what to expect. 

Then they stop. Alastair is in pain because he longed for Charles. Of all the things he could ask Charles, what does he ask?

“What is wrong, Charles?” he said, his voice husky and rough. “If this is not what you came for, then why are you here?”

I mean, what? Do you know the heaviness of this sentence? It means that most of Alastair and Charles’ interactions as a couple might have been lead by sex or by making out. Why do I think this? Because otherwise Alastair wouldn’t say that - he’s basically implying that most of the occurrences between them started because of something sexual…

 “IF THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU CAME FOR…” 

It makes me so mad. So mad. Because it is clear to me that after the Academy, Alastair was devastated and also regretful of his actions towards the other guys. He also had to take care of his family. He also points out how he managed his household when his father was “sick”, how Alastair has been a brother and a father and the head of the Carstairs family for longer than we can imagine. I understand why meeting Charles could have changed his life, but Alastair is a giver, he gives a lot to those he cares about, meanwhile Charles is a seeker, he also wants to feel loved but he can’t exchange the affection the same way. 

We can consider Charles and Alastair’s relationship dead and gone, anyway. Not only because Alastair said he was done and understood that Charles just wanted to matter (his words, not mine) and that he only cares about his career. In the scene I mentioned above, we also know that the reason why Charles came to Alastair’s was to inform him that Barbara Lightwood had died. Metaphorically speaking, her death could also signify the death of Charlastair and the moment in which Thomastair’s door was truly open to explore. 

Now to conclude my thoughts - which I hope weren’t too jumbled - I’ll just say that as much as he unnerves me, I do think Charles could have a nice arc if played well. But, my dears, without Alastair. This is for sure.

Footnote: If you want to know more this, especially concerning gender, you can read What is Gender History? By Sonya O. Rose which treats different topics.

[thebreakfastgenie]

ik i already said chianti was my favorite, but please talk abt writing emergency room!!!

thank you for indulging my obvious fishing you're a real one <3 I did not expect this to get this long I'm so sorry I'm gonna put it under a cut

The Emergency Room is the only one of my "renaissance" fics I spent a lot of time on or really... worked at. Chianti, The Apple, and Campfire all came easily and unexpectedly. Normally I think I do some of my best writing that way and I am pleased with the writing on all of those but I do think The Emergency Room benefitted from the amount of time and attention it got.

I started writing Emergency Room on Christmas. It might have been Christmas Eve or the day after but I'm pretty sure it was Christmas itself, because I was trying very hard to finish a new draft of a Christmas themed WIP six years in the making (I failed. I'll try again this year.) and this other thing kept wanting to be written instead. So I was like, fine. So technically Emergency Room predates Chianti, at least everything up through the waiting room scene because those were all written first and then edited only a little later. I was on a role and I was so excited to get to the scene with the doctor and then when I got there it became impossible to write. I still don't know why this happened, but it did, so I had to stop writing it for a while.

But I never really stopped because I was thinking about that scene all the time and working on phrases and sentences. The way I write, a lot of the process is invisible. I work out full sentences and sometimes paragraphs in my head and then I write them down. (Most of the first half of Campfire was written in my head while I was in the woods and I was so anxious I would forget it before I got to my phone to write it down.) I do make changes at this point, but it's rare for them to be significant. I basically use my WIPs as my daydream scenarios for any time I need something to think about. I also write in chronological order, so this scene I was stuck on became my mental backdrop for months. I really wasn't planning to pick it back up when I did, I was supposed to be working on a different WIP, but it happened.

The conversation with the doctor is one of my favorite parts, but the farthest I had gotten during these months of rumination was this part:

“I thought your name sounded familiar,” she sounded apologetic, almost embarrassed. “I’m sorry. I need to pick my metaphors more carefully.”

“Don’t be,” Josh shook his head. “You’re the first doctor I’ve seen in months that hasn’t opened with it. It’s... kind of nice.”

The next line, where she talks about the patient's role in surgery, was unplanned, but it ended up being pivotal to my understanding of this scene. The subtext of

“But there’s something else, something intangible, that comes from the patient. For all our scientific advancements, there’s still a lot we don’t understand about the body,” she paused, then added, “and the mind.”

is you lived because you wanted to live.

I actually worked out this subtext and I had a sentence that I thought sounded nice, but I didn't write it down because I knew I wasn't going to use it, and what I recall doesn't sound quite as nice, but it was basically "You were teetering on the brink of life and death. Dying had never been easier. If you wanted to die you would have done it then."

It's supposed to be a counterpoint to "He could have died happy," from the previous scene.

So, I hope someone picked up on that.

One of the things I knew about that scene all along is that when Josh tells the doctor what happened to his hand he's really telling Donna. Hopefully saying it to her shoes got that across adequately, lol. That moment was painful to write because I had already way, way committed to past tense but that one little line sounded so much better in present tense and there was nothing I could do about it. I still like the sound of:

"I broke a window," he tells Donna's shoes.

but there's nothing I can do about it!!! I'm not going to rerelease the Special Present Tense Edition although that sounds kinda fun, I have no desire to rewrite the rest of it in present tense.

Also I forgot about this when I was being annoying about wanting people to pick up on my favorite parts, but the thing about comparing the innards of the chair in the waiting room to organs is something I (surprise, surprise) thought of while looking at a cracked chair and I still adore the concept but I'm satisfied but not thrilled with the execution.

It's worth noting that even during the literal months I was stewing over the doctor scene, everything that comes after that was planned in excruciating detail. I even had specific phrases; the hug and

"I'll be right here when you get back." "Promise?" "I promise."

were one of the first scenes I thought of and anchored this fic the whole time I was writing it. That moment is the companion to

"I am very glad that you're alive." "Me too." "You are?"

in Fortune Cookie Wisdom.

Because that's the other thing about this fic. From the beginning, I was envisioning it as the night before Fortune Cookie Wisdom. This caused me a few minor wrinkles, like the space heater. I was writing along assuming it was already there, when I went back and checked and realized that I established that Donna was the one who put it in the bedroom, so I came up with a compromise. I also deliberately avoided saying what time it was throughout Emergency Room so we can all convince ourselves Josh got a few hours of sleep before already being awake at 7:30 AM in Fortune Cookie Wisdom.

But the biggest influence from Fortune Cookie Wisdom is the phone call in K-Mart. I had established that Donna got a last-minute flight home for Christmas and that Josh arranged it with Leo's help, and I knew I wanted the scene where he convinces her to go. But I had to figure out when and how he actually managed to pull it off and so the mysterious K-Mart phone call was born. I got a kick out of an AO3 comment that highlighted finding out who Josh was on the phone with because it meant that part actually worked.

And then there was the ending. At this point it was 2 AM, I had been agonizing over this fic nonstop for the last couple days and intermittently for months, and I wanted it to be done so I could post it. The ending was torture. I kept writing and deleting things. I kept staring at it trying to get the perfect last line, trying to convey the same general vibe as the end of Noël itself. I'm still not sure I didn't need one more sentence of buildup before putting the button on it, but everyone seemed to really like and respond to it, so I'm happy!

If you actually read this whole post congratulations we're friends now.

Also if you've read both I'd be very curious to hear how anyone thinks Emergency Room and Fortune Cookie Wisdom work together because I wrote them three years apart and the style is very different.

[meikuree]

if i can be sentimental here for a minute, i’m feeling pretty emotional about finally putting up the fic i linked in my previous post, for a couple of reasons. the process of slowly editing it and plucking up the courage to do so over the past couple weeks is one that’s been intertwined with some of my lowest points in my writing enterprise, and the fact that i finally felt like i was in a decent enough place to share it publicly is a bit of an event to me. It’s also one that’s coincided with me finally reaching a relatively stable place with self-confidence, and I want to talk a bit about how I got to that place.

musings put under a readmore because they’re rather long.

some background: for various reasons, that particular fic was meant to be one of those wips I would never publish, and simply abandon to private obscurity. i wrote it three months ago at a time when i was feeling very self-conscious and Very Bad about my usual/natural writing style (which features lots of long sentences dense with not-always-straightforward implication, a tendency to opt for an introspective, stream-of-consciousness style, and liberal/indulgent use of descriptors and metaphors). my insecurity wasn’t the fault of any specific person/event-- it was something that stemmed from my perception that my writing differed (too) highly from fandom conventions i had observed surrounding style, tone, and content, and some personal weirdness around that. but the end result, regardless, was that when i finished the first draft of that fic i quickly looked back and came to the kneejerk verdict that it was terrible, unfixable, unworthy, etc. etc.  

nobody had told me it was terrible; i was simply on a self-critical bender, and did the work of convincing myself that it was so. but it was a blow because it was a piece i’d spent a good bit of time writing, and poured lots of emotional/mental energy into, and to sit there and feel as if it was abysmal and thus had to be abandoned didn’t do any favours for my writing esteem. that was also the time i stopped writing, aside from one other piece, because i believed there was something fundamentally lacking about my writing.

about a month ago i revisited the abandoned wip with fresh eyes, having forgotten most of what i’d written. and — to my complete surprise— i found that it wasn’t at all as bad. it was decent, even, and there were some lyrical turns of phrases/paragraphs i was proud of, and i enjoyed reading it. I basically wept as i read it, because suddenly I wasn’t sure why I’d convinced myself it was irredeemably bad, all those months ago, or why I’d been so harsh to myself.

(around the same time, my partner also told me something that stuck with me— “your writing is good. full stop”— which was a revelation because I’d always thought of my writing more along the lines of “it’ll only hit that mark labeled Good if you do XYZ”. my self-opinion on my writing was essentially contingent upon many arbitrary and constantly changing conditions, which was exhausting. so that was liberating. i realised that if I could just be slightly more confident and go in knowing I was good at some things, already, it would make my writing process a lot more enjoyable and smooth because I’d waste less energy fretting about whether I was hitting those arbitrary standards of Goodness.)

I was convinced my writing was Inherently Bad based on a few arbitrary conclusions (my style differs from what i usually see in X fandom space; therefore it is automatically bad), when more objectively my style was a mix of good and bad. i.e. i do some things well, and some things not as well. which is ultimately natural and common, and nothing to be ashamed of. put very simply, the issue was also that i was giving one too many fucks about mainstream validation. the issue wasn’t necessarily that I wasn’t getting any feedback/response either—I’d gotten a good amount of positive feedback in the past. it was something more endemic, and had to do with how I was so convinced internally of my writing’s low worth that there wasn’t much that external praise could do until I addressed it at the root.

i tried to approach this piece differently, with these issues in mind. I focused on polishing it until I was reasonably happy with it, not until it’d hit some mythic and unattainable standard of perfection. I realized I didn’t care how much quantified reception I got any more (bookmarks, kudos, etc.) because I was simply more excited about Getting It Out There and finally finishing something. I also knew that while it wouldn't necessarily be universally Extremely Amazing, it was decent, and that was good enough for me— and besides, as I was trying to internalize from what my partner had been emphasizing to me, my writing was good regardless of all those external factors (!!). it also felt much, much better to get heartfelt, in-depth feedback from a tiny group of fellow fans whose opinions I valued than to have mainstream approval. my fics (and this one fic I just published) will never be the sort that get 100+ kudos, because I write primarily for f/f rarepairs, but I did send that fic to a few very kind people who offered to read it and their feedback was infinitely more heartening and uplifting than a static kudo.

that leaves me where I am now in terms of my relationship with the fanfic economy and writing. these days, I’m mostly channeling Fiona Apple levels of “I no longer give a shit about reviews”, because attaching myself too firmly to the headwinds of ao3 approval briefly destroyed me. I give significantly less of a damn about mass reception now— even if, or especially because my tastes seem to differ from the fandom’s in terms of writing style and content. i’m more intent on having fun and doing whatever i want. if you’re someone who wants to aim for mass appeal and quantifiable metrics, that’s totally fine— none of this is meant to be a slight against how you approach writing. I simply think it’s a losing game if you’re in as insecure a place as I was previously, and that it was tremendously unhealthy for me.

I’m also moving these days towards cultivating greater community/communality in my fandom endeavours. it takes work and active participation but makes for a far more rewarding fandom experience, I’ve found. what’s more crucial to me-- over asynchronous, one-way and ultimately slightly superficial validation in the form of kudos/likes-- is reciprocity and communal conversation with other fans. and i’m very lucky that in the past few weeks, i’ve gotten a lot closer to a bunch of like-minded fans, with whom i can exchange detailed feedback and enter into meaning conversations about canon/our favourite characters. I write these days less to appeal to some imaginary, amorphous public and more for the enjoyment of friends/other kindred acquaintances whose minds i respect and admire far more. if you only ever receive one-way echoes, that’s extremely lonely-- but if you get to hear that echo turn back, get to hear some other input building upon what you said and not simply replicating it, that becomes something generative. and life-giving.

TLDR: the real fandom was the friendships, community and stable self-worth we forged along the way, not the superficial metrics of glancing validation. 

TLDR 2: i’m learning that there are many acceptable valences between the extremes of “this writing fucking sucks” and “this is my magnum opus which i’ve sweat a blood transfusion for”, that are okay for one’s writing to occupy.

[lalahbug]

Snapped!Canada x Reader

Fandom: Hetalia Word Count: 1,805 My Masterlist Warnings/disclaim: general Some sexual themes, I kept it pretty PG-13 though. Author’s Note: (continued under story) Originally posted on DeviantArt, under the same username, on 11/05/2012. Revamped/edited in 2020. ___ is a blank for your name/oc/whatever you prefer Written in 3rd person Line/header is to separate paragraphs to indicate time skips, as Tumblr hates my formatting. Story under cut

          "Why don't you just shut up, you bloody frog!" England screamed at France.  

          "Why don't you make me?" He replied childishly, sticking out his tongue.  

          Somehow at every world meeting, they got into a fight. ___ had been coming with England for a while because he asked her to after she had found out he was a nation. She wasn’t really big on world issues and usually tried to avoid then, because she was secretly a nation too.  

          She didn’t want anyone to know though so she had been avoiding these meetings for years, but once Arthur told her he represented England she was forced to come. Arthur wanted her there to support him, but she never really did. Once she noticed how much Arthur yelled at the meeting, she would sit far away from him and next to Matthew, he represents Canada. He’s a quiet guy and very sweet, although no one really ever saw him.  

          ___ and Matt would talk in and out of the meetings, for a few years. Eventually, ___ got to know Matt very well and started developing feelings for the cute Canadian. She would defend him whenever she could, especially when people tried to sit on him. Even though a lot of people didn’t see him, ___ always did.  

          "Hey, Russia!" ___ shouted at the tall man, he gave her a childish evil glare, that usually scared everyone. But she wouldn’t be scared of him especially if it meant protecting Matthew.  

          "Please, call me Ivan."  

          "Ivan, don't sit on Matthew."  

          "Who?"  

          "The seat you’re about to sit in, Matt is already in it!" He stared at her blankly, making her sigh. ___ stood up and pulled Ivan to her seat. "Here just have my seat." She really just didn't want the Russian to hurt Matt.  

          "Oh, why thank you, ____."  

          "No problem, I was doing it for Matt-”  

          Two strong arms wrapped around her waist, cutting her sentence off, the arms pulled her into some hard. It was Ivan's chest and his arms were locked around her waist. "Why don't we share your seat?"  

          "Ivan you're drunk, your breath reeks of vodka."  

          "I am not drunk; I just simply have been drinking."  

          "Whatever, let me go!"  

          "You're not scared of me that is why I like you."  

          "Let me g-" She was cut off by two strong lips pressing against hers. ___ squeaked and immediately tried to push him off of her. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Matthew get up and run off. ___ hit Ivan on the chest and struggled against him even more as she heard Alfred call after his brother. Finally, Ivan let her go. ___ quickly ran after Matt but couldn't find him. Soon after that Germany called attention to the meeting and got issues resolved. Everyone was soon dismissed and England gave her a ride home.

          A couple of weeks had passed since ___ had talked to the Canadian; he wouldn't reply to any of her messages nor showed up to the meetings. So once again, she called him and waited nervously as the phone seemed to ring forever.  

          "What?" A groggy and rude voice demanded.  

          "Alfred, give Matt his phone! I really need to talk to him." Any happiness she had when the phone stopped ringing was replaced with annoyance for the American answering Matt’s phone.  

          "What makes you think he wants to talk to you?"  

          "Alfred F. Jones! Give Matthew his phone! What happened to you? I thought you wanted me to talk to Matt and tell him what I should have before,” she almost whispered the last part because her embarrassment kicked in remembering Alfred telling her to confess to Matthew.  

          "Just come over if it's so important to you then." Then he hung up and ___’s embarrassment was quickly replaced with annoyance once again. She quickly grabbed a long thick jacket that went to her knees and her snow boots. Collecting her purse and keys, she stormed out the door and trudged into the knee-deep snow.  

          The cold air just made her calm down, making her think more clearly. But before she worked out the flaws to this plan she was already to Matt's house. She knocked on the door and quickly stuffed your hands back into her pockets. Then Matt opened the door, his clothes were baggy and disheveled and his hair was uncombed.  

          Matt just stared at ___ with her hood and hair flaked with snow. Her beautiful face had been pinched red from the cold wind. Her (h/l)(h/c) hair was a mess from the wind and clear signs of her pulling her hood back up many times. Matthew then felt a very cold embrace from ___.  

          "I was so worried about you!" ___ hugged him tightly, then looked up at him with watery tears, she had missed him so much.  

          "Would you stop that? It's really annoying. No one ever asked you to worry about me." His voice was level and mean.  

          "W-what are you talking about?" She looked at him with dismay. "Was it you on the phone?" He just nodded. "What is wrong with you, Matthew?"  

          "Nothing is wrong, what's wrong with you?" ___ grumbled before pushing away from Matt and going inside. "Well, just come on in why don't you." Matthew spat at her slamming the door.  

          "I will, it's freezing out there!" She took off her jacket and kicked off her boots. ___ looked around at the place and it was a mess. Normally, Matt had a clean organized place, now, looked like a tornado had ripped through his home.  

          "What the hell do you want, ___."  

          "What do you mean what do I want?! I haven't seen you in weeks. You were ignoring my messages and you never showed up to the meetings!" She let her voice raise a bit.  

          "What does it matter to you? Go kiss your boyfriend because I sure as hell won't be kissing an ugly girl like you." ___ just stood there staring at the Canadian. He was not the Matt she had grown to love and she was becoming worried and scared. She did what her body would let her do, without freezing up, she smacked him as hard as she could. He just laughed, it wasn't like funny laugh; it was a crazy laugh. She grabbed him by his shirt.  

          "What have you done with my Matthew?!"  

          "I was never yours!" He growled at her.  

          "I defended him! I talked to him!"  

          "That doesn't make me yours!"  

          "I love him and I want him to be mine so where the hell is he? Tell me because you surely aren't the same man I love and that used to shyly compliment me. My Matt would have never called me ugly." She started to break down. "I thought you loved me too!" She yelled at him before starting to sob. She gripped the front of his shirt while crying before pounding on his chest. "You are my Matt, and no matter what you do I am going to love you! So call me ugly all you want. It will never change the fact that I lo-"  

          Suddenly the world was blurry and her head was hurting. Her wrists were pinned against the wall and there was a pair of soft and firm lips against hers. Matt had pinned her against the wall and was picking her up off the ground now. Wrapping her legs around his waist and forcefully shoving his tongue into her mouth. There was nothing planned or polite about this. It was a spur of the moment and very passionate. His tongue wrestled with hers and quickly won and started uncovering any secrets in her mouth. Matthew's hands were roaming her body and started to pull up her shirt. Before he could get off any of her clothing, he broke the kiss. Air was stinging her lungs as it entered once again and it wasn't easy getting it back into her system though. As they both panted sharing the small area of air.  

          "I love you," Matthew said once his breath returned and he laid his forehead on hers. His hands started to fumble with the buttons on her shirt.  

          "I love you too. We don't have to do this now, Matt."  

          "No, we do need to. I have been waiting long enough and you're not going to make me wait any longer." With that he ripped her shirt open, buttons flying everywhere. She gasped and saw the look in his eye as his hands started rubbing on her sides. He wasn't going to take no for an answer knowing that she loved him.  

          "May I request a bed then?"  

          The sexual gleam in his eyes flickered and a slow sexy smile graced his handsome features. "As long as I don't have to stop anything I am doing on the way."  

          ___ woke up in the dark by herself, she got up and found one of Canada's hockey shirts and pulled it on. She walked through the house looking for her Canadian lover. Finding him on the couch in his boxers watching TV. She smirked at him before walking over and sitting on his stomach, clearly pulling him out his reverie, making him jump a bit.  

          "Of course not." With the last words the Canadian's mouth attached to the (s/c) skin on her neck and started to bite and suck meanly. ___ moaned and arched her back slightly. He hugged her body close to his so he could start walking to his room.

          "Hello, my dear." She smiled sweetly at him.  

          "Hey. Sleep well?" He turned his gaze to her, giving her a soft smirk.  

          "Yeah, why weren't you there when I woke up?"  

          "I needed to think." He then seemed to notice, all she was wearing was one of his hockey shirts. "Are you trying to start a round two?"  

          She giggled. "Depends. Can I have the sweet side of you this time? Because I have a few bruises that are going to take a bit to heal."  

          "No. You’ll know when he's back by the cleanliness of the house." ___ looked around, still a disaster zone.  

          "I guess he's gone?"  

          "Well, now I’m a bit aroused and still angry at Russia, so yeah, he's gone."

          "Well, I am okay with whatever side you have Matt. I love you. Dark or not, although the dark side is a bit of a bonus sometimes,” she winked at him.  

          "Oh shut up already and let's get busy."  

          "Don't tell me wha-" He cut her off with a rough kiss and pulled off the shirt.  

          “You're mine. I will do what I want with you, problem?"  

          She kissed him back gently. "As long as you love me and care for me. Then never."

Author’s Note: Continued On dA, I put this as a 2P!Canada, but someone told me it’s more Snapped!Canada, which now with editing this again, I agree on. So here it’ll be Snapped!Canada, on dA I’ll leave it as 2P!

[archaeopter-ace]

Fic Writer Tag Gam

Tagged by @eurazba​ and @im-the-king-of-the-ocean​, thanks!

Fandoms: (I’m going to name all the ones that were ever Major Fandoms to me, past and present. As in, have I sought out at least one 40k+ fanfic for it? Usually these sorts of tag games will ask for my top ten or something, and I never get to lay them all out. Or at least as many as I can remember. Bolded my current interests)

Danny Phantom, Detective Conan, Doctor Who, Smallville, BBC Merlin, Bleach, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, Lois & Clark: the New Adventures of Superman, Buffy the Vampire Slayer*, Good Omens, White Collar, The Dresden Files, Stargate SG-1, Rurouni Kenshin, Spider-Man, MCU, Marvel 616, Loki: Agent of Asgard, Supernatural, Young Justice, Blue Exorcist, Star Wars, Avatar the Last Airbender, Rise of the Guardians, The Flash, Welcome to Night Vale, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, Gravity Falls, Lucifer, Detroit: Become Human, Sherlock, Tales of Arcadia

* Once upon a time I read a lot of Buffy crossovers, and then moved on to straight Buffy fics, without ever having seen any of the show. I did eventually see some episodes, but the vast bulk of my knowledge comes purely from fanfic

Where you post: Sometimes here on tumblr, though I don’t think I have it all unified under one tag, since my-writing is also used for meta talking about my writing...

AO3 is the best place to find the most up-to-date versions of my stuff. It’s a pain to correct typos on ffnet so I generally don’t, though there’s a couple of older fics there that I haven’t crossposted because they are incomplete.

Most popular multi-chapter fic: Internal Affairs with 7593 hits. It is the most-bookmarked Barry Allen & David Singh fic on AO3, whoot! It’s niche, but it’s a good niche

Favorite story you’ve written so far: Hard to say between Autoeponym and Metamorphosis. They’re both part of the same AU, and I’m just really excited about it :D

Fic you were nervous to post: Relative Truth. It was the first work I ever posted that was meant to be taken seriously (as opposed to cracky 100 word crossover drabbles), and it was my first plotty, multichaptered fic. Who knows, some day I might even finish it! ;P It’s only been eight years...

How you choose your titles: If the show has a particular pattern of naming, I try to match that if I can. So since White Collar has double-meaning titles, I went with Relative Truth, playing on the fact that truths are revealed about Neal’s family tree. 

Otherwise, I gravitate towards one-word titles (perhaps a result of the fact that I first started really paying attention to episode titles with Smallville). I further have a fondness for somewhat obscure and/or sciency terms, so Keraunopathy, Inertia, Philae, Autoeponym, Metamorphosis - but in the case of chapter titles in a one-shot collection, it might just be the topic or central thing that inspired it (Ice Cream, Chickenpox, Awake, Slumber, Cockroaches). 

More rarely, I’ll use a longer phrase or pull from an idiom - Cisco Answers the Phone, Henry Allen Has Never Been Rick-Rolled, The Girl in the Mirror, Where There’s a Will.

Do you outline: Yes, to varying degrees. Sometimes I treat it like writing an essay and just lay out my ‘topic sentences’ in order, so I know what happens in each paragraph, and then I have a place to ‘file’ whatever bits of writing I do. Sometimes for something more plotty I’ll have it organized more like a typical outline with different levels, although what usually ends up happening is I’ll start and stop several different outline attempts, and then stitch together what bits I can into a Frankenstein outline that may or may not actually be followed.

Right now, for Don’t Listen to Kafka, I’m attempting my most ambitious, color-coded storyboard to date

Complete: Inertia, my Flash one-shot collection, has finally been marked complete since the odds are quite low that I’ll ever return to that fandom, but the whims of my attentions have surprised me before, so who’s to say. Internal Affairs, the Singh spin-off of that one, has likewise been marked completed. The Haunting of Harrison Wells was successfully written on a deadline, for an event.

More recently, The Girl in the Mirror, Autoeponym, Metamorphosis, Mohs Scale, and I Was a Teenage Troll are call complete, though all but the first are part of in-progress series, so...

In progress: The aforementioned Relative Truth, though at some point I should probably just admit it’s a dead!fic. It’s just really hard to let go completely. 

As-yet-untitled next work in Don’t Listen to Kafka. While Claire might know about trolls, there’s still a gaping baby-brother-shaped hole in her knowledge. Somebody should do something about that...

The bit-after-the-next-bit-which-might-be-its-own-bit-or-might-be-a-separate-fic: Jim’s transformation continues! Barbara knows krav maga! Plans are made! Haemerythrin, the oxygen-binding pigment of marine worms, becomes a relevant analogy!

Some more one-shots in I Was A Teenage Troll AU, because I have a lot of backstory that I haven’t used yet. 

Coming soon/not yet started:

As long was we understand ‘soon’ to be highly subjective and subject to change:

A Gravity Falls x Trollhunters crossover. Man, I love reading crossovers but I haven’t written that many...

The Garage. Told from a Changeling’s POV, who was able to keep working as a mechanic at his garage even after he lost his human form when the Familiars were rescued (because he’d already been outed as a troll years before). The story begins when Jim shows up at the garage with a message for Craig Dunlin.

Hey Brother. What I call the Vermont Half-Brother AU. Written entirely in epistolary form, because I’ve never used a groupchatting app in my life and I don’t think I could write a chatfic between two people convincingly. On the other hand, it’s hard to justify writing letters back and forth when both of them have cell phones...

Do you accept prompts: I like the idea of prompts but I know for a fact that I would not be able to fill them. I’m not a very prolific writer at the best of times, imagining I could fill a prompt in any sort of timely manner is sheer fantasy.

Upcoming story you are most excited to write: Don’t Listen to Kafka. My outline is almost solid enough that I feel like I have enough of a framework to start working on details, and I love working on details.

I tag:

 @rockymountainvixen​ @luvtheheaven​ @kalajorn​

[glitchkilldelphinixdj]

Mild Discourse: Of All the Things (Thesis of Anger)

Foreward: This is usually to point out discrepancies of what some things were called out to me by a different individual whose name shall not be stated upon this. This was nearly a month ago when this shit ass "barring" happened to me on three places on a famous app which I will never mention also. I had cried in frustration upon after this shit issue.

I will only mention what the discrepancies are, since I have been noticing after screenshotting of the reasons I saw, were either a bit correct at some parts or incorrect. I'm not gonna show the screenshot either since it's best to not get any criticism. I will point out my own truth in reaction to the statements seen in the screenshot privately. Each one quoted sentence is of the said problematic thing about me, and the paragraph is how I am actually answering and reacting to the said problem as honest and fair as possible.

1 "My family is on the spectrum and doesn't act like you."

That's one thing that infuriated me the most because I am a high func autie with ADHD, but each individual with autism with and/or without comorbidities has a different personality and family background, depending on where they're from. I came from a family who had a military background, specifically the Greek Navy from my dad, plus my maternal grandfather worked as a naval CB in Korea during the Cold War for the United States, prior to his death in Janurary 2019. This sometimes explain my rough, coarse, militaristic personality (henceforth why Heavenly/Monster Triangle Sciences exist and Hellspire Sciences exist, two different military factions) a bit. Plus, being in a rural community in the Southeast United States, there's not much opportunity to socialize in real life, so I pretty much veer to the Internet for socialization since there's not many local individuals who I trust.

2 "You are self-serving and arrogant"

The only times I get into self-reliance is when stuff goes into dire situations. The arrogance is from all the bullies I had encountered in the past in school times when I was a kid. I had tried to play nice with others at least and try to thicken the plot of the HTS and HSS factions during my times here, henceforth a little of the militaristic behavior I have involving order. I also pretty much had faked some of my happiness or empathy because I am trying not to put in any facade of sadness within. I somehow come up obnoxious and rude at times because I'm trying to be nice, but it goes the opposite direction of what is intended.

3 "You need to see a therapist."

Not when the 'Rona is around. The only last time I ever saw a therapist was in Georgetown of last year in Spring once over to see what I have: Autism with ADHD and some instances of paranoia. Only people who have very serious problems would usually seek therapeutic help and interventions to improve themselves and I am not one of those individuals. I've only been to speech and occupational therapy in school as a kid until I was 12, so don't assume things out of the blue that I haven't even been to a therapist. I've taken Adderall to relieve of my ADHD issues before in school, but it made my mentality so fucked up and losing my creativity, so post-school, I had to find ways to regain my creativity where I lost it in school. That's why I made a lot more OCs than what others usually made because my creativity levels amped up after I graduated from high school, away from the bad chaos, some of them were remakes of my old OCs I did in middle school (Jamine being one of my bare examples), but the Adderall overtook me of my creativity.

4 "Why would a couple of characters do self-harm on a budding f/f relationship?" (trigger warning)

Do you mean that budding m/m relationship of two different male characters, the self destructive behavior clinged by it involving with the use my two female OCs, Munphine and Jamine (pronounced Juh-mine, Jamie for short)? Listen here, I already had pretty much stopped that shit a few weeks prior to the barring and several weeks after the barring cos it was getting a bit too boring and a bit out of context, so that shit is quitted out. Both these characters had bits of dark backgrounds, pretty much involving both of their families (Jamie, involved with the death of her father and also her mother Ryuke being buried alive in a metal coffin, Munphine, whose parents whose faces were beautiful had shamed her for having an ugly facial appearance and kicked her from her town, so to cover her mouth from others to see, she uses bandages to cope that.), in general. Or do you mean the one involving my stable B8 Ghost Variant Yellow Missingno OC, Vesparada, and some other female character a few months ago? If it's already stopped weeks and/or months ago, it's already stopped. Period.

5 "You bragged about treatment of a physical problem I had."

What I was meant to say was that a medicine is suppose to help the problem, not actually treat it altogether, though with some side effects. It was an unintentionally misspoken statement, because my mind was in dire thought mode and accidentally typed too fast. I shouldn't have stated about a said medicine in the first place. I wished I thought and knew better about that. I'll leave that behind.

6 "You had guilt tripped in someone's place multiple times."

Most of the guilt tripping was unintentional at most because it's either me trying to come up with at least a statement/sentence and/or if it was a dire situation involving a decision. Some auties, like me, do have some problems making decisions, and at times, I unintentionally chose the wrong decision without thinking twice, though I do mostly think twice before I speak at some non-dire times. Sometimes I usually am impatient to my peers because I'm just excited over certain fun things coming up within my sight. I mostly never intentionally guilt tripped, lest if it's anyone I hate to be fair. I do have occasional preconditions that sometimes come in also.

7 "You had shrugged shoulders on a relationship with two different individuals."

This is me after being told at to stop and the mild shrugging of my shoulders is usually saying a way of, "Okay, I will stop digging into the nitty gritty of a certain relationship and let them do their thing." , as per se. By the words of ebony and ivory, that means I drop my guard of thought and accept it. It's been hard and rough for me to have at least a bit of attention during an RP story. I know that was nearly a couple months ago and it's best not to bring that up, since that is just an old thing. I'm a person whom does go by the cross a bit, being Greek Orthodox and all, but I'm trying my best not to scare anyone from advancing their creativity.

8 "You have been playing around with a victim."

Could you at least please elaborate this said victim and who it was? I didn't know I ever even played around with a victim nor I would recall it. It would be better for me to acknowledge who it is. I cannot fully understand certain things sometimes, lest if it's fully elaborated and stated to me. Who was this victim and how long? That's one thing that I am asking of.

Conclusion: Here on out, after the barring, I have been playing about in my garden, taking care of my own pets and whatnot to live my fullest life. It's been a bit of zen away of what happened. At least I am honestly covering what had been said and stated to me why have I been nixed from these places to others, and telling my actual side to what they had said with my utmost, undivided attention. I pretty much rest my case what I am telling my side of the actual allegations against me. There is no cover-ups or lies whatsoever of what had I said. I am literally straight-up speaking this in my own words. This ends the conclusion.

[quickspinner]

WIP Report 4/22/20

So just a heads up (I know, I gotta stop starting sentences with so, it’s a bad habit) on how things are going and what you can expect to see soon and slightly less soon! Here’s a quick rundown on what’s in progress ‘round these parts.

Sorry, this is long because y’all ought to know by now I’m a wordy bitch! So (I did it again) buckle up I’m about to ramble.

Backlog - I still have some works to crosspost here from AO3, so you’ll still see some of my older work pop up in the evenings for the rest of the month. I’m going to do some of my older one shots for the rest of this week, and then Sunday will be the college AU multichapter I did for the first week of Lukanette Month last year (not Hey Gorgeous but a different college AU I did before that). Again if you’ve already read my AO3 stories and you don’t want to see them again here you can use the ‘backlog’ tag to filter. 

Weekly Prompts - I’m still doing them, although I missed last week’s and I may actually miss this week’s (or it may inspire one of the kiss prompts) just because I’m so behind. But I’ll still be doing those, they’re fun and they help me from getting tunnel vision on a project too badly. As a reminder the @mlweeklyprompts is open to anybody and is any ML ship allowed, no ship required, just check the rules and tag the blog so that you can be reblogged. And if you don’t feel like following the rules, there’s no prompt police, so you can do what you want, it just won’t be reblogged if it’s outside of the guidelines. 

Beautiful Dreams - I’m so thankful for the people who’ve let me know they enjoyed the first chapter. Now that I’ve started posting this will be my absolute priority until it’s finished. I love this fic, I’ve been working on it a long time, and I’m really excited for it. I know it’s a little heavier than my usual fare but it’ll still have happy endings all around so I hope you’ll stick with me. I’m expecting about a week to a week and a half between updates. The first four chapters are mostly written so there will be some editing and polishing that has to happen (I’m still debating about exactly where to to put the break between chapters two and three) and I will also be working on the last two chapters so that hopefully by the time the first four chapters are up, the last two chapters will also be mostly done so there won’t be a huge delay there. These are long chapters compared to my previous stories, so there’s that too. Chapter 1 was the shortest by quite a couple thousand words so far. 

Gamer AU - Also high up on the list. I’m actually debating making this a separate story from the rest of I’ll Never Not Know You and splitting it into chapters because it’s getting to be kind of a monster to do all in one bite. But, even if I do that, because I write terribly out of order I don’t have a part 1 to put up yet. I was thinking I could finish this week but I just got so behind last week that I don’t think it’s going to happen, I’m still catching up on the have to do list and I haven’t even had a chance to touch this yet.

April Kisses - I’ll keep this going if I can get some short ones up over the next couple of days to give me some breathing room; I hate to give up so close to the end - there’s only 9 days left (8 because I wrote a short cute one for tomorrow already). They’re not really worth delaying the other projects over, though, so I’ll just have to play it by ear and see where I’m at.

The Soulmate AU - I hear you guys that want this, I love it a lot and once I get through the rest of Beautiful Dreams I really want to focus on this and toss some ideas with my writing buddies and see if I can really get this one rolling again. I have a beginning, I have an end that I love, I just...have to figure out what happens in between and I haven’t had a lot of time to focus on it. If I decide that I just can’t make it work as a full length story, I promise you will get what I’ve already got. If worst comes to worst, I can write about a paragraph to connect the end and the beginning and you’ll just miss out on the long distance stuff. 

I’ll Never Not Know You - I still have some things that people requested that I haven’t done yet, and they’re still on the list, but again these will be backburnered a bit while I focus on Beautiful Dreams, and to be honest, I think it will be a good thing. I won’t say I’m burned out on first meetings, I don’t think it’s that extreme, but these were originally meant to be fun and short and they’ve started turning into these huge monsters, which isn’t a bad thing necessarily because I like the pieces I’ve done, but they’re work, when they were meant to be just quick, fun little pieces to go between the longer stories. 

Other Stuff - I still have a list of ideas for Across All Realms, I’m still planning on a part 2 (and possibly 3) for Man’s Best Fang, I’ve got five or six other things in various stages of writing, some of them AU’s that I’m really excited about (Although WHY I keep writing AUs involving stuff that I know NOTHING ABOUT is really beyond me, but then again if I stuck to what I know that would be like...knitting. It would be a knitting AU. Knitting and dogs.) As we get closer to the end of Beautiful Dreams you might start seeing some of this stuff in WIP Wednesdays or SSS as I start looking ahead.

A quick note on WIP Wed/SSS - I just want to thank everybody who likes or reblogs those WIP Wed and SSS posts and/or tells me that you’re excited for a particular thing, that’s actually both super encouraging and really helpful because it helps me prioritize, and while I absolutely try to write what I like and the things that are important to me, your excitement gets me excited. 

So thanks for sticking around and reading through all this mess! I hope that gives any of you who might want to know a rough picture of the plan going forward.