#This one took longer than my other ones lol.
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would you be open to doing bf headcanons for hamzah? they could be sfw and nsfw or just sfw. love ur writing :). <3
BF Headcanons _♡
SFW
i’m a very opinionated person, so asking me about my hamzah headcanons is a FIELD DAY for me
I’ve always said this but I feel like hamzah (in the beginning of the relationship) is very shy? Not in the way of “ignore any possible interaction between you and him” but more of a “ignores eye contact after a kiss” or “blushes when you call him a nickname for the first time”
He acts like he hates when you baby him but behind closed doors… BIGGEST BABY EVERRRR
It took him a while to hold your hand in public, not because he's embarrassed but again because he gets too flustered when you run your thumb up and down against the back of his hand,,, or when you play with his hands in general.
I MENTIONED THIS BEFORE IN FIC BUT HAMZAH IS AN EAR BLUSHER AND HE'S SO CUTE WAA
If you get on his lap and play with his hair while talking about random stuff, and you kiss him out of nowhere HE’LL SMILE THIS BIG SMILE AND COVER HIS EARS IM CRYINGGGGG HES SO CUTE
Speaking of kissing lololol
Hamzah’s kisses are SENSUAL, he takes his time and really makes sure you feel his love
Contrary to popular belief i feel like if you’re with hamzah for long enough his love language becomes physical touch
And i dont say that and mean ONLY kisses but hes such a cuddly person. HE NEEDS THAT TLC HES A BIG BOY
BUT. Big but! He is not the type of person to show affection publicly IM SORRYYY
Holding hands and hugging is fine but i think more intimate things he’d rather do in private…
Not because hes embarrassed as i said, he gets shy at other people perceiving that version of him especially since he isn’t ‘acting’ or ‘joking’
Also he feels like only you deserve to see him like this hehehe
His love language is quality time. Like actually.
His head on your chest, playing stardew valley on his ipad. You watching TV or reading while playing with his curls.
Another form of this is that he’ll ask you to be him and martins cameraman just to have you there with him
Or he’ll ask if you want to try a new coffee shop that opened down the street
He’s a man that likes to be around you 24/7
ALSO ALSO ALSO OMG OMG
HE WOULD SO FORCE YOU TO DO BACKGROUND VOCALS FOR SOME OF HIS MUSIC LIKE THE RAPPERS HE LIKES LMFAO
I dont wanna go on too long with this but one thing is for sure
You’re his princess for REAL treats you like ROYALTY lol
If you guys get into an argument. Even if you’re wrong, he ends up apologizing
“I shouldn’t have let it boil over to this anyway.”
10/10 boyfriend. Totally recommend.
NSFW
SISTA. I HAVE NEVER EVER THOUGHT I’D HAVE THE PLATFORM TO SHARE THESE THOUGHTS BUT I HAVE TO MAKE SURE YALL UNDERSTAND ONE THING!!!!
Hamzah is NAWT a boob or ass guy. HE LIKES BOTH EQUALLY. (He is secretly is ass-leaning tho LMFAO)
This is so funny but he totally is the type to smack your ass randomly when he walks by.
Do you get mad? Yes. Do you tell him to stop it? Yes. Does he stop? No. Do you secretly think it's kinda…? WELL YESSS
TWO WORDS. Boob squeezer.
I think from what we can understand so far. is that Hamzah is the handsy man. HIS HANDS ALWAYS SOMEWHERE LOL
sex drive is for sure high. and when i say high… ITS HIGHHH
Contrary to popular belief AGAIN.
Hamzah doesn’t partake in dirty talk much… not that he doesn't like it—he just wouldn’t in my opinion? It's not that he wouldn’t talk at all, but he is more of a heavy breathing, whimpering, moaning guy—pretty much more noises than actual words
Though as i said, he would talk sometimes, especially if he’s feeling really good, or his stamina is lasting him longer than he thought… he starts getting a little cocky
On the topic of dirty talk, if he does talk, 99.9% of it would be praising, i don't see him enjoying degrading unless you ask him to.. but he’ll be a little awkward about it LMFAOOO
Something like: “fuck, baby you’re taking me so good.”
(Unironically starts actually using good girl after a while of making it a joke btw)
Someone sent a request a few days ago and said “i feel like hamzah has a breeding kink” and why was i gagged?! NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT BUT YES, i feel like hes more into the thought filling u with *** then the thought of impregnating you if that makes any sense
Im talking too much… digital footprint go hard.
(A/N): this isnt proofread, i kinda braindumped but i had fun doing this!! Thank u anon for the request I HOPE U LOVE THIS CUTIE MWAAAAHH
#hamzahthefantastic#slushy noobz#hamzah fluff#hamzah x reader#hamzah x y/n#deer’s reqs!#hamzah smut#hamzah the fantastic
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sugarcoated brain [teaser]
⏯ teaser word count: 723 | full fic: 13.7k ⏯ genre: punk band frontman!shotaro, venue manager!reader, shotaro is whipped, reader is emotionally unavailable, is it a slowish burn or is it angst?, whatever it is ur reading a starlightkun fic so there’s a happy ending :), ft. eunseok/sungchan/wonbin as shotaro’s bandmates welcome back boys & wayv as reader’s coworkers ⏯ warnings: not necessarily a warning but since i do generally avoid describing the reader’s appearance in my fics, i wanted to give a heads up—reader works at a punk/alternative concert venue and is generally in/around that scene. reader is mentioned and/or implied to have some tattoos and piercings (other than earlobes) ⏯ extra info: set in the same universe as filler episodes, but u don’t need to read that in order to understand this one, filler eps!sungchan and sugarcoated!shotaro r just in the same band! also the title is from a 5sos song lol ⏯ estimated release: saturday, november 16, 2024 3:00 p.m. eastern time
“Is that sanitary?” Eunseok’s voice announced Roses for Eyes’ arrival that particular afternoon, as you sat atop the bar counter, scrolling on your phone in one of your few moments of peace and quiet around Venue:Hell.
“Kiss my ass, Eunseok,” you replied without even looking up.
“Yeah, I’ll get in line,” he retorted, making Sungchan and Wonbin laugh.
That finally prompted you to slide your gaze up, just in time to see the three of them laughing over by the stage as Shotaro flipped them all off over his shoulder, making his way towards you. He had two cups in one hand, one with a bright green straw in it, and the other without a straw, and you saw that the other three band members each had a plastic cup with a straw sticking out of them as well. You silently watched Shotaro approach, raising an eyebrow at him once he’d stopped in front of you.
“We were getting boba on our way here, and thought we’d grab you one, too.” His cheeks were a bright pink as he held the unopened cup out to you, and fished a packaged purple straw out from the front pocket of his black jean jacket.
“Who’s this ‘we’ that you’re talking about?” You asked humorously. “They all apparently think getting me boba is kissing my ass.”
Shotaro straightened up, puffing his chest out. “Actually, yeah. Fuck ‘em. I got you one because I thought it’d be nice to get you one too since you do so much for us every week. It’s uh-It’s honey milk tea, because I didn’t know what flavor you liked.”
“Thank you, Shotaro.” You accepted the cup and straw from him graciously, to a chorus of snickers from the spectators on the other side of the floor. “Honey milk tea is more than acceptable.”
“But it’s not your favorite?”
“I don’t have a favorite.” You set the cup on the bartop beside you to stab the straw into it.
“You—Hey, are those mine?” He seemed to have finally noticed the sunglasses perched atop your head.
“What? These?” You teased, tapping the plastic accessory arm on one side of your head.
“I was looking for those today!”
You took them off, offering them out towards him. “You left them here last week.”
Shotaro took the glasses just to turn them right back around, take a step closer to you, and place them back on your head, a fond smile on his face as he did so. “I think you look better in them, actually. You can hold onto them for a little longer.”
You swallowed, your chest suddenly feeling too tight for your heart, and six eyes suddenly feeling like way too many to be in the room with you two right now. You chuckled, trying to keep up the congenial tone as you once more pulled them off. This time, you folded the arms and tucked the sunglasses into Shotaro’s jacket pocket for him. “Thanks, Shotaro, but I can’t take your sunglasses. They’re really rockstar sunglasses anyway, not for someone like me.”
At that moment, you grabbed your boba tea and hopped off the bar, scooting out from between him and the counter. You avoided looking at the others, beelining for the back office.
When Shotaro had to come get his in-ears from you just a few minutes later, you gave him the same pleasant smile as usual, handing him the case. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.” He tapped the case against his palm, the sound dampened by the fingerless gloves he was wearing that day. “What did you mean? When you said someone like you.”
“Wh—About the sunglasses?” You’d hardly expected him to confront you about that comment at all, much less alone now, just you and him in the office, no peanut gallery. While six eyes had felt like too many, this felt far too intimate. You somehow felt more exposed than before. “Like I said—They’re cool rockstar sunglasses, that’s what you are. You should wear them you know, up on stage, being all cool and stuff. I’m crew; no point in me wearing them while I’m sitting back here where nobody can see them.”
He frowned, but thankfully didn’t try to give them to you again. “I think you’re cool, Y/N.”
With that, he left the office.
⤷ masterlist
#shotaro x reader#riize x reader#shotaro#shotaro imagine#riize imagine#nct x reader#riize#osaki shotaro#shotaro imagines#riize imagines#nct imagine#nct imagines#i: shotaro#f: sugarcoated brain#scb: teaser#writing#text#mine#taro
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Fred Jones Stimboard
☁︎ ☁︎ ☁︎ || ☁︎ ☁︎ ☁︎ || ☁︎ ☁︎ ☁︎
#scooby doo#mystery incorporated#fred jones#my boards#sensory#stim board#cloth stim#water stim#glitter stim#fidget#hands#orange stim#yellow stim#white stim#liquid stim#stimming#stim blog#stimmy#stim gifs#This one took longer than my other ones lol.
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misc doodles
#in stars and time#isat#my favorite one of these i drew while tipsy#guess which one lol#does anyone else like. draw Way Faster while in some way inebriated#like. is it an inhibitions thing#like. none of these are BAD but some of them took WAY LONGER THAN OTHERS#HM#okay back to art fight prep#doodles
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dooooodles
#31st art#papyrus#undertale#undertale fanart#flowey#not tagging the others since i didnèt draw them much#augh. gotta change my keyboard language from canada to the US#the one where hes sitting at the tree took longer than id like to admit LOL
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There's a lot of talk about Heiji's tendency to drop everything and go to Tokyo to help—or even just to see!—Shinichi, and rightfully so. It's something Heiji unabashedly admits to (Episode 278, Magic File 5)...
Heiji: If any other suspicious persons show up, just call me! I'll run right over!
Ran: Hattori-kun saw that incident on the news and rushed over because he was worried about you, Conan-kun. Heiji: Grabbed the first bullet train in the mornin'!
And I still can hardly believe that Heiji's canon, actual, real-deal reaction to a request to put his life on the line and impersonate Shinichi... is an immediate "OK" composed out of heart emojis (Episode 345).
Seriously. That happened. Heiji couldn't not help.
Heiji (internally): I had no choice. After all, Kudo e-mailed me asking me to do this.
But in Shinichi's first appearance since being poisoned (Episode 49), after seemingly refusing to show his face to Ran or Inspector Megure or anyone else in town for who knows how long, he unabashedly claims that he dropped everything to meet Heiji. He smiles about it!
And of course it's a lie, but there's a smidgen of truth to it, too. Conan did accompany Heiji, despite feeling terribly sick and harboring zero interest in the (apparently) non-murderous case, because he was intrigued. Because he was impressed with what Heiji had uncovered about him already and was nervous about what else his so-called "rival" could reveal.
Conan (internally): I don't wanna go, but there's no telling what this guy might say!
But even without that context, Shinichi's easy, immediate cover story gets to me. He really, truly, unhesitatingly asserts that meeting Heiji was important enough to jump right on a train to get there.
It reminds me of Shinichi's excitement when he first learns of Heiji (File 520), and his grin when he thinks of meeting Heiji for real one day (File 522):
Shinichi: Really? Then he's just like me!
Shinichi (internally): We'll meet each other again... on that mysterious stage...
I think I could totally buy that Shinichi actually would have done exactly what he claims in the clip. He is interested in other detectives like himself, and with the pain of the antidote wearing off in Episode 49, that smile's gotta be genuine.
Finally, while it's Not That Deep, there's maybe something to be said about how Heiji is symbolically the key to Shinichi's true self, since it's Heiji's alcohol that transforms Conan back into Shinichi. With this clip, Shinichi underlines the same idea. It's Heiji who brought him back after so long. It's because of Heiji Hattori that Shinichi Kudo makes his first appearance after vanishing.
And I love how forthright Shinichi is about it.
#detective conan#case closed#shinichi kudo#heiji hattori#ramblings#long post#video#funimation english dub script#because i've devoted a lot of time and effort into mixing my german blu-ray footage with my funimation dvd english dub audio#and everyone needs to look at it lol#(really though it's a lot easier now that i know to change the 'fps' of the audio but it's still a lot of work...)#(i match up the japanese audio track from the blu-ray with the japanese audio track from the dvd and copy any cuts needed to the eng audio)#(not hard just tedious... i'm dying for an official hd english dub release so that i don't have to do this lol)#(but any official english video releases for this show at all would be great...)#(i don't want to use bilibili screencaps anymore because there's a big watermark now)#(so i spent a whole lot of time timing bilibili subs to my ep 345 blu-ray here for those caps 😩)#(more tedious than other eps because bilibili splits up multi-part specials so i had to string together four different .srts)#(gosh i do *the most* lol plz official releases i'm dying)#anyway just was thinking about this because of my hd english dub project! he really says this#wanted to post this before the end of the year for one more essay but alas... took way longer to write than i thought ^^;#as per usual amirite ^^; ^^;
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Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...
#Definitely not going to be able to stick with it just due to like... being realistic about my energy levels and etc. ESPECIALLY as we#enter the Evil Summer and it becomes hot all the time. But... one can attempt.. at least...#I'm also a very slow writer since I tend to re-read and edit while I write. and only move onto the next section once what I'm writing#seems okay. Which is easy for visual novel type stuff. since ''sections'' of a conversation are more clearly marked (like if you#have a menu option with 5 different dialogue choices. finish the character's response for choice 1 before moving onto 2. etc.)#Especially since when I'm done with a whole quest I always follow it up by playing through it and picking every option and making sure it#actually all works okay and etc. So I am already going to see it all a second time. Then I can go back and reorder a few words or remove#certain sentences that don't sound natural when I read them out loud (I always read it all outloud to myself since it is... just peple#talking.. it should sound like natural dialogue in their voice. etc). But my ''first draft'' is kind of not as first drafty since I pause t#edit a lot as I go along. So it also takes longer probably than it would take other people who I think treat a first draft as more#of a loose guideline or something. AANYWAY...#80F in my bedroom right now again... huzzah... I did end up finishing and recording that sims build video before the heat wave (or is#it really a heat wave if it's just summer..?? lol) came in.. but now... augh.. the editing... plus the costume photos and all else... Much#to do as always.. Often such a long todo list.. a giant scroll hung upon the walls of the evil hermit wizard tower..#Anyhow.. I hope I can finish getting ready for bed early in time to reward myself with a game of tripeaks solitaire whilst I snack on#cheddar cheese and some of those preserved artichokes in a jar. hrgm... I actually have nasturtiums (ultimate best flower) on the#deck again this year but I had to move them all into a corner today because the leaves were getting burnt by the sun lol.. Also am now more#cautiously weaving through social media to ignore all dragon age news. NOT bc of spoilers (I actually love spoilers/literally never play#any game until there's full guides on it I can read to plan my entire playthrough based on knowing exactly what I want to happen lol + mods#and etc.) but just because I'm so busy with my ownprojects I simply do not have the brainspace to dedicate... Yes I love to think#about elves and fictional universe lore. but no.. I pretend I do not see it. Does not exist to me actually. ghgj.. OHH also took som#cool pictures of flowers in the garden section of a store and I wanted to do like.. character designs based on the colors of the flowers o#something. but that might just be another unnecessary project to add to the pile.. I want to commit to the daunting task of dyeing my#hair again some time.. hrm.. this is all of the updates I can think of. As if a bunch of random tags make up for never posting anything for#weeks on end lol.. alas.. too warm to think properly I suppose.. .. I neeeeeed a long lost relative to leave me some million dollar#estate in their will so I can have the resources to move to a colder climate or something ..augh#.. but for now.. I shall toil away in my little wizard tower trying to write 2000 something words a day whilst sweating and such ghbj
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I also made a card for him (Patreon)
#My art#SCII#Damned#DAX#Don't look at me lol#I considered making one from my bad batch of printouts but nah I have other uses for them still :P#Besides I get to use full colour here! And he deserves it ♥#DAX's cute expressions through Dex's cute face <3#A lot of the details initially started as guesswork but I feel a teensy bit more confident in them now that I've done some looking around ♪#Heights are still undefined tho lol! Max is 5'9'' and Dexter looks to be at least a good few inches taller than he is so#It's pointed at that Dex is ~6 years older than Max - I put him at 8 years older but I'm happy to move their ages closer in my mind <3#More than that I'm happy to have been so close! :D#It's most likely that he's actually 30 by this point but if Max took a two year rather than a four year college course fjdslafd#My thoughts around DAX's age have shifted a little as well bringing in the consideration that VUX have longer lifespans than humans :0#What does 10 years age difference look like when that's proportionally less for VUX than humans!#Speculation for another time lol#I probably could've added more names in his ''Knows'' section but I stuck with the ones I've seen drawings of haha#He probably wouldn't know DOX...#If I'd thought about it for a moment I would've drawn his eyes reverse-open-closed - I like the idea of him and ZEX mirroring each other <3#Well they can both switch hehe#No matter how many of these I make it's so fun to fill out the Personality section hehe - single-word descriptors are very fun!#Seeing how many simple words I can think of to describe someone hehe <3 With minimal overlap and considering connotation! It's fun!!#I love DAX <3 And I love Dex haha it's the same with Max/ZEX! I love them all ♪♫
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Basically mine and @qxs’s reaction when watching the new ep + bonus Stan
#skyy's art#South Park#Stan marsh#Randy marsh#sp stan#sp randy#s26#I don’t think I even need to tag spoilers there’s no spoilers here lmao#hope you don’t mind this my riv I just. I HAD TO#throughout the ep river and I just. we increasingly got more pissed off at Randy#AAGH#keeping up my tradition of a meme redraw per ep and here’s this episode’s one#took me longer than I’d like to admit#I included Stan because he’s also fed up with Randy okay he never stopped being fed up#I’m outta here 🏃🏻#I hope I got your colours right btw riv 🥺👉👈#my outfit is pretty much exact to what I was wearing when we watched it except I was wearing a Stan beanie and wasn’t wearing my necklace#so I removed one added the other lol#idk ab riv but. he looks good in black so it’s okay ❤️
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dip pen ink comm second round for in order R. Burry, @sega-bass-kissing, and Solaris
#bakuspecial#commission art#and thats round 2 concluded!#once again sorry it took a Lot longer than round 1 lol#its just. sometimes there are things up here#which is why (mentioning this again in an actually relevant post lol) I'm gonna leave my next week off from this!#round 3 will open sometimes AFTER this sunday. my rest of the week will be for other business I gotta take care of#tbh what I'm doing with ink here is kind of the equivalent of like. picking up someone's dog and running off#nobody knows whats going on or is gonna happen. but I am doing it nonetheless#now tho. maybe I should nap for a bit more. itd help#thank you again to folks who've bought a slot thus far! hope everyone's enjoying whatever the hells Im doing dskjfhdsjfh#I sure am uh. figuring it out. it is fun but then I'm the one with the dog in my arms#have a good night! maybe u should have an animal of choice in ur arms too. would recommend
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#fashion#nails#nail polish#I like doing 2 different colors one for each hand#rn ive got orange and black they look nice#I always pick it off tho even if I try not to rip#I go longer than I used to#took me a long time to drop my fragile masculinity and paint my nails LOL#would NOT from ages 7-15 deadass#Its fun#I wasn't like other girls I had problems#poll#polls#anyway#fun
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Jesus getting interviewed for a Major Job is crazy is it always like this?????
#all non gig jobs ive worked have been retail and by far the one that took the longest was my very first#all other jobs i got immediately either getting contacted within 24 hours of applying or just straight up getting hired without an intervie#Nearly all were retail but even my current job as a clinic secretary was a relatively simple and fast process#but either this place is just very thorough OR all of my jobs have just been kinda trashdoodoo (very likely) this is longer than im used to#fingies crossed ig? Im close with all my references so nobody gonna shittalk me i THINK. Never had anyone actually contact refs before#im not too hopeful for getting this. Very little goes right for me lately LOL
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30 Day Fictionkind Challenge Day 14
Q: What are shifts like?
A: Before I begin, I'm strictly speaking about my personal experience here, and in no way does this post serve as a universal definition. Think of this like a diary entry, not an encyclopedia entry.
Anyway, what they're like can vary wildly based on several factors. Two big ones are the kintype in question, and what prompted the shift. Generally though, a shift almost always comes with strong feelings attached, and in its own way, each shift feels like coming home.
Because this blog is for discussing my identity as Luca, I'll focus on that kintype. However, it's a bit hard for me to describe, because more often than not I'm in a Luca shift. I consider it more of a "default" state of being, for lack of a better term.
Anyway, how a Luca shift feels depends on what prompted it. In my personal experience, kinshifts are always prompted by something, and never come randomly.
Most of the time, shifts are prompted by music. Sometimes it's music that resonates with me lyrically — the words metaphorically "bring me back" to my source. Other times, it resonates with me melodically. The sound scratches my brain in a "Luca" way, and/or is a song I would've liked in-source. Sometimes, both the lyrics and the melody take me back.
Other common triggers include (but aren't limited to):
Lore drops (particularly about my backstory or time at the manor)
Any other official drops that I consider relevant to me
Fanart that aligns with my memories/noemata or otherwise touches me in some way
Analysis of my source that aligns with my own perception, or that prompts new introspection
Unrelated creative works that resonate with me from a Luca perspective
Random posts/memes on the internet I find relatable or that cater to my sense of humor
A common denominator among all of these potential triggers is that they are all callbacks to my memories and noemata. For example, my birthday reveal prompted a Luca shift, because it affirmed my suspicions about what my interests, likes, and dislikes were.
Another example of something that has happened to me several times is finding a song that reminds me of someone important to me, so I ruminate on my feelings and memories about that person, which prompts a Luca shift.
A final example I'll give is coming across a post on my dash that I feel captures my "essence" as Luca, so I sit and think about it and any specific memories or noemata it may have reminded me of. Or maybe I just find it relatable (or funny!) without necessarily being reminded of specific aspects of my source. Both cases can prompt a shift.
My response to the shift and how it feels depends on how I feel about the memories and stuff attached to it (positively or negatively). Generally speaking, whether my feelings are positive or negative, I'll probably feel pretty intensely going into it regardless, and spend the next while dwelling on it.
My negative memories/noemata associated with this kintype hold a lot of resentment and anger, so those are the most common emotions I feel during a shift prompted by stuff like that. I may also feel sadness for what I've lost or what I've been through. Or, I can feel frustration at what I didn't know then and don't know now. Feelings like hate, obsession, and grief are no strangers during these shifts.
Shifts fueled by negative emotions can feel like a stab in the chest, or sometimes it can get especially bad and feel like I'm burning from the inside. Either way, I like to make use of outlets so I'm not just stewing in it. Music is my main outlet, but I may also draw, write, or talk it out if I feel up for it. Redirecting my focus to something else entirely also helps.
From the outside, I might appear withdrawn and low-energy so as to not needlessly dump my problems on others, or misdirect my feelings. If it's nothing too serious though, I probably don't seem any different. Just preoccupied at worst.
My positive memories/noemata associated with this kintype...can honestly be few and far between (having a horror source is great /sarcasm). But, they still exist, and can still prompt shifts just like negative noemata can. Most of the time, shifts prompted by positive emotions are fueled by my love for the people I was close to in my canon (or even just amicable acquaintances with). There's not a lot about this source I can be wholeheartedly happy about outside of my cherished interpersonal relationships, so I can't think of any examples of purely positive shifts off the top of my head that don't revolve around my friends and peers. Maybe I'll come back and try to think of some sometime.
Shifts fueled by positive emotions can feel like a flower blossoming in my chest; it feels full, yet ticklish, like the petals are gently brushing against my flesh. It's comparable to the feeling you get when you're about to laugh. It can also feel like a spurt of energy too big to let out all at once, or simply a tranquil, warm fondness. Usually, I don't feel the need to make use of any outlets, and prefer to sit and enjoy the feeling. If I do use any outlets, though, they're the same ones I use to process negative emotions.
From the outside, I have no idea whether or not being preoccupied with positive noemata affects my behavior. I imagine I don't act differently, but if I do, it can't be anything bad. Perhaps the worst that can happen is that I become a bit more chatty.
Then, there's the grey area between positive and negative: nostalgia. It fits there perfectly, like a puzzle piece linking the two together. Nostalgia is a very common trigger for kinshifts for me, and feels like a potent mix of both pleasant and sour emotions. There's no way for me to describe it concisely. It's deserving of its own post, honestly.
I guess it's just a mix of the positive and negative, period. I feel nostalgia when something reminds me of or when I think about the places, people, and things I loved in my canon. Things I took pride in, as well. It's bittersweet, because while the love I hold is still just as strong today, the key difference between then and now is that what I love doesn't exist in this world. Not to mention the things I loved and lost in my canon, not just the things I lost when I began the life I live now.
Both kin and non-kin alike are familiar with nostalgia, so it feels redundant to explain or describe, but for the sake of consistency and archiving my thoughts I'll do it anyway. Shifts brought about by nostalgia feel like something twisting and wrenching in my chest. Like an itch that can never be scratched, or reaching for something that feels so close, but never so much as brushes against your hand. It's a love for something that no longer exists how I knew it. It's either forever altered, or gone altogether.
Nothing stays in perfect stasis for eternity, as much as I like to deny it. Places and times changing and ceasing to exist altogether are inevitable, so it's inevitable that your love will change, too. Don't get me wrong, it brings me great joy to reflect on the things I love, but the longing comes with the love. It's a package deal.
I suppose that's all I can say on the subject for now. I'll ruminate on this a bit more, and see what else I can write about the subject in the future. Hopefully this is coherent to anyone other than me, and isn't too redundant/repetitive.
Honestly, I went on much longer than I expected to. I thought I'd be in and out, but ended up rambling a bunch. It almost made me give up altogether with how long it dragged out for, but I powered through! If you read this long, thank you for taking the time to listen, and if you wish to share your own experience or want to ask me questions, my notes and inbox are always open. Take care!
#fictionkin#30 day fictionkind challenge#kin stuff#kin shifts#idk how many non kin follow me but i imagine the word “kinshift” rings a few bells for most people on tumblr LOL?#basically (at least for me) it's a period of time (long or short) where one's connection to a certain kintype and/or its memories/noemata#feels extra strong. and/or stronger than other kintypes one might have#for example if i say “i'm in a luca shift” it just means i'm luca as always but like. at the moment i'm really in tune with that kintype.#but i'm sure the definition varies based on who you ask. that's just my experience#may 2024 tags:#JESUS. i was stuck on this draft for months and months because it was longer than i expected#because it went on for so long i started to dislike it + second guess myself and took multiple breaks from writing it#decided fuck it and finished it just now. huzzah#anyway yeah here. hopefully this coherent because i don't have the attention span to proofread and edit more than i already have
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Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 7: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression
(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)
The winning option of yesterday's poll was that the adventurer should go on a 5 day journey to find the Innkeeper's weird brother who studies animals, and show him the Suspicious Egg….
~
The next morning he wakes early, buzzing with renewed purpose, and also minor back pain from sleeping on old potato sacks.. After a meager breakfast of more free leftover scraps, the Innkeeper stops him before he leaves, giving him a few extra supplies for the long journey, as she can tell he doesn't have much. He packs up and sets out onto the road once again, crumpled sketchy map in hand...
He has a fairly uneventful journey for the first day - waving at the occasional other travelers as they pass, cleaning his boots in a nearby pond, stopping to eat some dumplings whilst watching the sunset, and finally setting up a small tent a short ways off the main path, resting with his cat by a dim campfire until they both fall asleep......
The second day, however, does not start as smoothly.. Only a few hours further down the road, he's met with a large barricade, guarded by a group of what seems like elven soldiers from one of the larger surrounding cities of the area. Practicing his confidence, he puts on his best "brave face" (which to others, appears more as some sort of pained wince, like he might have something in his eye), shakily striding right up to the authority figures he is definitely not afraid of.
"Halt, traveler! You cannot pass."
He sways slightly, struggling to keep his wobbly legs under control, "OH, y-yEAH, ssorry, I was-, hh, I was just walking, ~o-out for a stroooll~, haha, so I .. uh.. o-okay. That's.. okay. But, uh.. could, can.. euh.. C-can I ask why? like... why the, uh... blocking off.. of ... the um.. the-"
"Unfortunately, we are not at liberty to disclose any information on the nature of this current road closure. Our sole duty is to maintain security of the barrier."
"hhHeh, ye.. eAh, for sure, I-I get that.. Duty is.. really so... important in ... today's world.. gotta, um.. do the duties.. or, uh.. .. yeah, but.. so, uhhh... wh-Do you know.. maybe, uh... H-how long you'll, like... be here? guarding... and such...??"
"We'll be here as long as we need to be here."
"...O-okay.. but, like.. uh... any,,.... time estimate? hahahehhh?? like, uh.. a day, or... two, or um...??"
"This matter does not concern you, traveler. Move along."
"Aoh, yeahgh, I.. totally.. totally.. it, uh.. Well.. but it kind of does though,, right? B-because I do, in fact, actually have to go down that road at some p-point sssoo, um,... uh.. I-"
"I said move along."
The guard abruptly takes a step forward, causing The Adventurer to yelp as if he'd been hit, tripping over his own feet and scrambling off on hands and knees, lunging into bushes near the rocky roadside.. After exchanging a confused glance, the guards both shrug, resuming their stoic positions at the barrier.
The Adventurer watches from the uncomfortable safety of some berry brambles, surveying the area at a distance and desperately trying to work out how he can still get where he's trying to go. The map given to him by the Innkeeper is pretty straightforward, not showing alternate paths. Based on his primary map, he could maybe think of a few detours, but he's anxiously unfamiliar with the area... How should he proceed?
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Additional Details - (I decided whenever he gets new items or goals or something, I'll list them at the end just to keep track)
items + to inventory (from the Innkeeper): 2 lunchboxes of vegetable dumplings, 2 canteens of water, a box of tea, one rope, 1 pouch of dried meat, 4 candles, a hand-drawn map
main goal: get to the abandoned castle ruins to see the rare animal specialist about the egg
#paventure posting#polls#choose your own adventure#SORRY this took so long. I still want to do this daily or every other day lol. I just had a lot going on the past few days#the story tidbit of this one is slightly longer again because you need spaces to break up dialogue and etc. but much shorter#than the other one still and pretty concise. I tried to leave out a lot of detail and just give the bare minimum again lol#Hopefully his speaking style isn't too grating also ghbjhb.. I'm more familiar with writing dialogue for like.. people to say out loud so#to me I'm always trying to hear it in my head and write eveything exactly how it would be spoken. and to me it sounds fine#if you act it in the exact voice I'm envisioning and have a distinct speaking style where you pause or drag#out words in a specific way - like with particualr cadence and comedic timing - it sounds fine#I'm just not sure if that translates to text as well lol#But he doesn't actually talk often. the past two times have been exceptions since he keeps running into people#And he'll have to talk if he ever actally makes it to the Innkeeper's brother. But most obstacles on the road#are probably prettyy easily dialogue free#ANYWAY...#Love his dramatics.. Imagine if you just take one step towards someone and they scream and throw themselves#onto the ground and run away gjhhjbj#the cat just leisurely trotting over to catch up with him because they're not actually scared#anyway.. ! day 7.. that's like a whole week! except it's been over a week since sometimes it takes me like 2 days lol
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look at my web weave boy
#actually more careful selection than my last one even tho that one took longer technically bc it was sitting in my drafts for months#bc i was more intentional with he flow of color and the pairing of quotes this time#and idk. there are lots of things that speak to suburban fear but i was trying to weed out stuff about the fear of the other or the intrude#bc those are key suburban fears but my focus was more on what was exemplified by no surprises once in a lifetime and his n hers#( < all music. lol)#the specific sadness of getting what you've always wanted but it being sad and frightening and dull and frighteningly dull#heart full up like a landfill etc#warlock wartalks
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backing shit up from my old PC to switch to the other one I'm using is... Really bittersweet I wont lie
#👁️ | navi speaks#;; Im doing it rn and man#;; imagining this would happen after like#;; 1 to 2 years or so of using it is wild#;; rlly wild lol#;; this one is faster though thankfully#;; the other is like. very old lol#;; i remember that my mom told me before that I shouldnt download any games in there and I went 'lol bet'#;; and i didnt do it because ik its dumb#;; but i still downloaded shit that i can do on the side like Ps and whatnot#;; its really nice to move to smth faster but man#;; im gonna miss using that pc#;; cause for what its worth#;; it was a champ and took on me with my online lesson shenanigans and whatnot for uh#;; years practically#;; anyways thats enough im gonna#;; go through backing it up now#;; o7 i pray that this one lasts longer than the other one fr
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