#This one hit me like a TRUCK

[dizzybizz]

trailblazer makes a wikihow on how to become a raccoon

they commission gepard to do the art

[mickdalena]

john lennon jesus binder 'met god. she ships rpf.'

[holybananaoafshoe]

 ✨Team Dynamics✨

Tired Cyro Dads 4.5/8

🥛🍪

I don't know why I didn't think of this earlier when I wrote up the boxing lessons, but here's some last minute brain rot about Kayea teaching Wrio how to sword fight.

Honestly, it’s kinda the same with boxing BUT (big but) Kaeya is definitely the more flirtatious of the two and the best teacher

Wrio’s teaching is based on showing the fundamentals and once that’s done he throws you in the ring because “What’s better than learning on your feet?” 

That’s how he learned anyway

Kaeya on the other hand, he’s trained several knights and adventurers 

I personally headcanon that he has trained Benny and Noelle (at the very least) and helped train Razor and Fischl

You know what, while we’re here, let’s throw in a handful of greenhorn knights too 

WhIlE We’Re At iT I’m going to loosely throw in Mika and Klee.

 Klee because she hangs out with him, he’s basically a second big brother to her, so of course he and Albedo have taught her how to take care of herself. 

Mika because, come on, kid is anxious. I like to think Kaeya helps him when he can while Mika is in Mondstadt….Mika is definitely the little brother Kaeya never had.

Anyway, they definitely don’t use their visions because it could get very dangerous and Kaeya wants this to be a learning opportunity and not a future hospital visit (he’d rather not relive the night he was kicked out of the manor, thanks)

He’s carefully taking Wrio through all the moves and helping him correct his stances, it takes a long time before they move from practicing swings in the air with wooden swords to practicing the movements of a spar, to going through the movements with a real sword

Kaeya is a good teacher: gently correcting Wrio’s wrong moves and softly placing his hands over his to guide him through a swing Wrio just can’t seem to get right.

Everytime Kaeya is behind Wrio, his gentle voice in his ears and his hands on his, butterflies are bouncing in his stomach and the tips of his ears get red

He can barely hear what Kaeya is saying, but he’s making an effort to remember how movement feels 

For Wrio’s credit, he’s a good learner

He’s not one to get frustrated easily when Kaeya corrects his form for the nth time 

Instead he takes the correction in stride and tries to keep it in mind while he moves through the next set of exercises

When they switch to sparing, they take it slow to make sure Wrio gets used to the weight of a sword in his hand

Hey, Kaeya wasn’t about to make Wrio into a kebab, okay?

Wrio is incredibly awkward: super stiff movements and jerky with the sword

Almost takes Kaeya’s other eye out

Kaeya was just fast enough to tilt his head to avoid the worst of it, honestly it was truly just a scratch on his cheek, just below his eye

Wrio is a m e s  s

Absolutely falling over himself to apologize, whipping out the ointment he keeps on him to dab onto Kaeya’s cheek before placing a bandage over it

It takes a little while before they resume, Kaeya reassuring Wrio that he knows it was just an accident all the while

Soon enough, Wrio is kind of getting a hang of this sword fighting thing

Just good enough to start getting cocky

As the fights speed up, Wrio keeps taunting Kaeya 

“That all you got, Cap? I could take you in my sleep.”

“Not so fast with a sword in your hand, huh? I think I might best you yet.”

At one point he does knock Kaeya’s sword out of his hand

He wasn’t really expecting how hard Wrio can hit with a sword damn

He was a little impressed, not that he would tell Wrio that though because he was already starting to boast about the win

Kaeya smirks, shakes his hand a little, and picks up his sword. “Well, if you’re confident in your skills, perhaps we can take it up a notch?”

Wrio, full of confidence from his win, is bouncing on the balls of his feet and ready to go for a round two: “You sure I didn’t hurt your hand with that last round?”

Like, he knows Kaeya is going easy on him, but he’s just so giddy from winning that he can’t help himself

Kaeya is sooo used to the trainees doing this, and the next part is always his favorite

So, he shakes his head, something sharp in in his grin, and tightens his gloves before grabbing his sword: “Then let’s see how you hold up, Duke.”

Wow is Wrio in deep shit

He figured that out pretty fast lol

Like when Kaeya just stood there until he blocked the attack, fuck, it was like hitting a wall 

For someone who got their sword knocked out of their hand from an unexpected heavy hitting, arm-numbing, teeth-rattling, swing just a few minutes ago, Wrio was absolutely shocked to see that Kaeya didn’t budge a single inch when Wrio swung his sword down with all the force he could muster

Kaeya said he could take it after all and, well, he certainly did 

Kaeya tilts his head, a slightly unhinged air surrounding them, and deflects Wrio’s sword up, leaving his torso fully exposed

Kaeya sends Wrio stumbling with a kick and from there, Wrio is absolutely on the defensive

There goes Wrio’s strategy: just hitting Kaeya with full force attacks until he lost his grip again 

Now Wrio was barely keeping up with Kaeya’s relentless onslaught

At one point Kaeya deflects a blow and just disappears and reappears behind Wrio

Wrio did not screech, thank you

He only lasted like, five minutes before Kaeya swiftly knocked Wrio’s feet out from under him--Wrio’s sword slipped out of his hand as he fell--and pinned him to the ground, sword hovering above Wrio’s neck

They both stayed like that--Kaeya sitting on top of Wrio and Wrio laying on the ground--panting from the spar

Kaeya breaks the silence by setting his sword to the side and leaning on Wrio’s chest with his forearms, his blue hair dangling over his shoulder and tickling Wrio’s cheek

“I’m impressed, not many trainees last that long.”

“I’m not any other trainee,” Wrio breathlessly tells Kaeya. 

He’s freaking out internally, because Kaeya is so close right now

Keaye smiles gently, knocks their foreheads together, and whispers: “Well, if you win the next round you may just earn a prize.”

“And what’s that?”

Keaya just grins and slowly sits up, he boops Wrio’s nose and just tells him he’d have to win to find out

It takes maybe three days before Wrio finds out, he was determined damn it 

(he may have gotten Lynette to help him)

(and Freminate too. Claymore, sword, it’s all the same, right?)

Color Kaeya surprised? He wasn’t expecting that? Here he was, teasing Wrio and suddenly he was knocked on his ass and on the ground with Wrio pinning his arms above his head.

“How about that prize, Captain?”

Kaeya starts laughing softly, he wiggles a hand free and cups Wrio’s face: “If I knew you’d be this determined, I would have pinned you down sooner.”

“Oh?”

Kaeya doesn’t say anything after that, he’s looking a Wrio with such a soft, caring gaze that melts Wrio’s heart

Kaeya wiggles his other hand free, Wrio swears he doesn’t breath as Kaeya gently guides him down for a kiss

Their first kiss!!! (we made it!)

It was short, sweet, and wonderful

Wrio just rolls off Kaeya and they lay next to each other, looking at the sky and the sword lesson forgotten 

Both absolutely smitten

At one point they look over at each other and just smile

A strand of hair that had come loose from Kaeya’s low ponytail falls onto his face, landing just above his nose in front of his eye patch

Wrio, gently brushes it back behind Kaeya’s ear

They walk back home, hand in hand

[hinamie]

there's no furbish word for dilf :( sad :(

[dead-girl-tells-stories]

Not Blue, Black

Everyone always assumes that Danny's eyes are blue. He’s shown pictures of his family before and his dad’s eyes are blue, and so are his twin brother’s and his daughter’s, and his big sister’s. So his must be too! Well, his mom seemed to have this weird purple thing going on so no one was too sure. And no one seemed to care either way, especially not Danny. Besides, why would anyone care about eye color when they had such an amazing young man working alongside them?

Danny was the perfect intern. He’s always on time, never giving trouble, always giving helpful suggestions, and good at not only his job but everyone else’s too, making it handy to have him around the office. He was also the workplace hottie, with many guys and girls hovering around him, desperately trying to make him theirs despite him announcing himself happily married the first day he got here. (Everyone knew who his husband and wife were since he couldn’t help but show them off every chance he got. Everyone knows they’ve got no chance, but one can dream.)

He also seems to light up just about whatever room he happens to be in. Just his presence alone made even their shittiest days in the office seem like just tiny inconveniences in the eyes of the universe. Unless he himself was pissed, which didn’t happen too often. But when he was, everyone felt it and knew to avoid him like the plague. But, other than that, Danny was an all-around good guy and was for sure going to get the job after he graduated from Gotham U. 

You, on the other hand, weren’t too sure about your position in the company, as you were Danny’s antithesis, everything he was not. You were always late for reasons no one cared to understand. Just about every issue in the office was pinned on you whether you were involved or not. You couldn’t ever think about helpful suggestions and just rode off the backs of others. And compared to everyone else's good looks, you were the workplace monster. 

You had a scar on your face and body you got as a kid. You got it in an accident and it deformed your right side quite a bit. It was challenging to adjust to yes, but over time you learned to live with and accept it. Others not so much. The stares you got almost daily, from everyone in the office to school, even random strangers on the street. All of them made you feel scared and sick. Like you wanted to dig off your skin and rip off your flesh and replace it all with something newer, better, more normal. But you couldn’t and had to live like this for the rest of your life. You had to live with the stares for the rest of your life.

Your only saving grace was this job, the one you were assigned to when you first got the internship. You were awful at it at first, resulting in many scoldings from the manager. But throughout the year you were here at this company, you dedicated your time and effort to be good at at least this one thing. And now you were proud to say that you were damn good at it. The best even! So good in fact that everyone decided that they would drop their workload onto you and let you handle it even if it meant extremely late nights at the office.

And that’s how you got to be here, on the company roof at 1 a.m., debating whether or not going home to actually sleep and eat would be worth the scolding you would get from the manager when you arrive to work ‘late’ again..., among other things.

You know having these kinds of thoughts was bad for your mental health (your therapist grilled it into you every time you even mentioned them to her), but it was freeing in a sick sort of way every time you thought of each scenario that could play out if you just-

“Hey!”

Jumping back to your senses, you turned around and saw none other than Danny Fenton standing right behind you. You two were never all that close in proximity before now so you only knew that he was big. You weren’t expecting the absolute unit that was standing behind you. You knew you were short but having to crane your neck to look at his face only put shit into perspective.

“Another late night?”

You only nod dumbly as he moves from behind to stand next to you, looking down at the bustling city below. A deep sigh came from him as he pulled a candy from his back pocket and popped it into his mouth. He was always eating candy. Did he have low blood sugar or just a sweet tooth?

“Same. It’s like we can never go home, huh?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at Mr. Perfect’s suffering just a bit until you realized what he meant. You scoffed and rolled your eyes. 

“Come on Fenton, just because you’ve done a few late nights doesn’t mean you ‘never get to go home’.”

You settled next to him, also looking down on the city as well. He was on his phone now, the blue light illuminating his features.

“She really never sleeps does she?”  He says laughing to himself.

You were kinda pissed off now. Who was he, Mr. Perfect Intern, Daniel Fenton, to compare his suffering to yours? You practically lived at this job now, once you weren’t busy with school or something else! You even bet that after this he’s gonna go home to his nice apartment and be met by a wrapped-up dinner on the table made by either his husband or wife. (HE HAS A FREAKING HUSBAND AND WIFE FOR FUCKS SAKE!) He was probably talking about his little girl just now, and how she’s up waiting for him. Maybe she was half asleep on the couch with the TV on since she was so determined to see her Dad come home. It’s Friday after all of course she’d get to stay up way past her bedtime. He’s gonna get a hot bath and wash off dirt and grim of work, and-

Danny’s laugh was low and deep, rumbling through the air, sending chills down your spine. He turned to you and smiled his pearly whites glimmer-  Wait were those fangs?

“Dude you know you mumble out loud… right?”

There was silence between you two until a bright red crept up your neck, and ever so slowly engulfed your face. Shame flooded your entire being as you cradled your face in your hands. You sighed, feeling like more air wanted to come out but your very human lungs were empty and in need of oxygen. So sucking in a breath, you looked him in the face (why can't you see his eyes?). He was still smiling, his fangs (he has freaking fangs how had you never noticed before!) poking his bottom lips making little dimples.

“I’m so sorry, I’ve been stuck here for three days doing everyone else's work. I haven’t slept or eaten or taken a shower. I-”

“I know, I know. You’ve been busting your ass for a while now so of course you’d be grumpy.”

You don’t think grumpy is the word you’d use but it was close enough. 

“So how long have you been here Fenton?”

“A week.” He replied cooly, popping yet another sweet in his mouth. (Okay he needed to stop, at this rate, diabetes would be the next one to put a ring on his finger) But you were surprised nonetheless.

You’re sure you would’ve noticed if he was here for the entire week. He must have been playing games with you.

“Am not.”

Okay, you needed to stop thinking out loud.

“Look, just trust and believe that if I didn’t want you to notice me, you wouldn’t have. But I did so…” He shrugged and looked off into the distance once more.

You think that what he said is impossible, everyone notices Danny Fenton. But the office was pretty small compared to bigger companies. And if he really was there for the entire week you should have noticed him at some point of the three days you were here. You didn’t hear him coming up behind you a few moments ago either. So maybe there is some merit to his words.

“What’s got you here for so long anyways Fenton?”

He sighed, his face looking more tired than before. 

“You know the project that my group has, the one we got two months ago?” You nod and he continues, 

“Well, it was fine at first. Everyone was pulling their weight, excited to get it done. But then it started, again, with ‘Hey Danny, I’ve got something important to do this afternoon, can you finish this for me?’. Then, ‘Danny I'm not coming in today, do this for me? Thanks!’. And ‘Hey, Danny’s good at this let him do it!’. ‘Danny I need help! Wait no…, I actually meant that I want you to do this for me.’ 

Danny’ll do this, Danny can do that, don’t worry Danny’s on it! Danny, you’ll finish the project… right?

That along with the other workloads that are trusted upon me by the managers and other employees, ON TOP OF MY OWN ASSINGED WORK!”

By the time he was done, you had already recognized that voice all too well. Danny was struggling, right on the edge of his line, using the shirt on his back the make just a little more. Danny was breaking and just barely holding it together, just like you were. You never realized it before, but you notice now that, Danny’s fucking tired. Just like you.

A wet laugh broke your train of thought. His face was a bit wet, his eyes (?) red from held-back tears.

“People think that I’ve got no flaws-” A pang of guilt shoots through you as you were one of those people, “- but I do. Metric shit ton in fact. One of them is that I can’t help but to help people, even if it’s detrimental to myself. And if my sister finds out about this she’s gonna slap me upside and force me to stay home for a month!”

Another laugh rang through the air, sounding just a bit too crazy for your liking. Even so, you couldn’t help but wonder, you just needed to ask-

“Why are you telling me this?”

His laughter stopped and he turned to look at you. Like really look at you. You realize that Danny’s eyes weren’t blue like you and everyone else were assuming. His eyes were black. So black. Blacker than the night sky and deeper than any ocean. And within those oceans swam thousands of bright lights, each burning 10x brighter than the earth’s own sun! Yet they could never shine through that great abyss. It was beautiful. Danny’s eyes were so beautiful. 

“Because I’m gonna quit.”

“What?” Well, you weren’t expecting that.

“Yeah, I’m going to quit. And as your good friend-” Good friend? Since when!? “-I’m going to advise you to quit as well! I predict that this shabby ass company is gonna collapse in a few months and I DO NOT want to be there for that shit show, doubt you want to be there either.”

You feel conflicted. This is the first time that you and Danny Fenton have actually spoken to each other and after basically trauma dumping on you he tells you to quit! This has to be a prank! Some sick twisted joke!

“It’s not.”

CURSE YOUR BLOODY LIPS!

Danny smiled. He looked noticeably less human now that you could see fangs and eyes, and were his ears always pointy? Dear lord is he a part of the Fae!?

“Close but not quite.” 

At this point, you were pretty sure you weren’t speaking out loud and he was just straight-up reading your mind. He handed you a piece of paper and clasped his hand over yours.

“Just think about it ok? The first one is my number, so just call when you need a friend to talk to. The second is my brother’s, he thinks you’re cute.”

“What?” You look up only to see him gone as if he was never there. Looking back down you expect to see the paper gone too. But it was still there, the flirtatious message next to the second number making the tips of your ears turn red. Once again you remember that, Danny if a fucking giant, one who was now gone without a trace…

“What have I gotten myself into?”

You decided to quit the next day.

Three months later the company ends up in a scandal so bad, that even the bats are investigating it.

You decide to give Danny a call.

All I wanted to do was write a prompt about Danny's eyes... The fuck!?!?!?

[pockettgcf]

SLAMS THE DESK

REVERSE ROLES AU WITH CALMITY XIE LIAN RULING OVER GHOST CITY AS TAIZI DIANXIA AND HE IS EXTREMELY PROTECTIVE OVER HIS CITIZENS BECAUSE HE ISN'T GOING TO LET THEM GET HURT LIKE THE PEOPLE OF XIANLE

[eff-plays]

Is this your remorseful and selfless and uncorruptible meow meow.

[localgardenweed]

They are taking over

[lunar-wandering]

do y'all think Macaque is falling back into the role that Azure and the others put on him by remaining on the outskirts of the group because he thinks his input/presence is unwanted (and yeah his presence isn't really wanted by MK and the others BUT. something about the fact Macaque is placing himself at the edge of the group, the edge that Azure and the others pushed him to, doesn't really sit well)

[noonaracha]

LEE KNOW :: '락(樂)' Music Bank 231110

[suntails]

a toast to your coffin

[basilacademia]

I have NO idea if I'll come back to either of these, so take these Willow's from today!

[waitineedaname]

I've received a sudden influx of followers because of an entirely unrelated textpost from several years ago, which means all of you legally have to read my current interest in order to understand my blog. ooooh you wanna read scum villain's self-saving system so bad (Anna's archive link since the internet archive is down)

some quotes to further persuade you:

also read my fanfiction. hi.

[lorelune]

aventurine with a reader who is his handler. your primary job? risk analysis. you were an intelligentsia guild member-- once, before your talent for mental statistical computations were fully discovered. being quietly brilliant was much easier than being loudly so. where you could once toil away on private research on the ipc's dime, you now trail behind aventurine, attempting to mitigate all the damage that ripples around him.

(this is particularly difficult as aventurine is a man cursed with luck so good that it's a statistical anomaly. prediction is useless. calculations must be made on the fly and you must pray you are accurate, lest the strategic investment department end up in some amount of personal of fiscal debt themselves.)

aventurine had assured you initially that you didn't need to keep such a close eye on him. and at first, you'd believed him. he is one of the ten stonehearts, and well-regarded despite the rumors and brand on his neck. it's-- it's not your business anyway. to pry. you trust him.

and truthfully, he does keep a good handle on himself. he gets out of all of his gambles in one-- piece. sort of. he either skirts disaster with no room to spare or he takes on the disaster with his own two hands and grit and fucking wins.

and truthfully, if that was the only thing you had to analyze about aventurine, your job would be quite easy. he's lucky. he wins.

however-- there's just so much more to it than that. factors and variables that aren't affected by aventurine's uniquely good fortune. there always is. but what is and what isn't is hard to suss out. it-- it all constantly changes and hence you have to be in aventurine's shadow and hope that your mind is fast enough to deduce and calculate at the speed that aventurine cuts typical odds down to aventurine odds.

which is to say, that exhaustion follows in your shadow.

aventurine isn't a horrible boss. as much as you're his handler, he's yours. there's a semi-silent, mutual duty you both carry. aventurine makes sure you stay in his shadow, just out of sight and out of danger (so, he can position himself in front of any bullets, stray or otherwise. because they will never hit him.) and you make sure that he does not inadvertently cause a firestorm half a galaxy away.

it works. it's tenuous, most of the time. because aventurine thinks getting close to you is his greatest gamble (one cannot use luck to mend a broken heart). and because you recognize that, for all of your risk analysis and statistical understanding of the universe at large, at some point, you will be in aventurine's wake at the wrong time. and your luck, in conjunction to his endless luck, will run out.

it's a statistical inevitability.

[jerreeeeeee]

no villain speech has ever stuck with me like robert moses’ short manifesto from his conversation with kingston. people think they make choices. they think they’re gonna steer left, or steer right. but they didn’t build the roads. the big choices already got made for them, a long time ago.

because he’s RIGHT. not about his takeaway, obviously, which is just “and that’s how it should be.” but the statement itself is true. they DIDN’T build the roads. people are told over and over that because they “make choices” the outcomes of those choices are their responsibility, and that it’s freedom, even. they think they’re gonna choose to steer left, and then they crash. they choose which auto insurance they have. they choose what new car to buy. and that’s freedom. but they didn’t choose to be required to drive a dangerous vehicle an hour away to work their life away at a job they don’t care about just to keep themselves alive. they can only live their lives in a narrow framework, a structure sustained by a threat of imprisonment and violence. they didn’t build the system. they didn’t build the country, or even the concept of a country. they didn’t build the laws, they didn’t build the city, and they sure as hell didn’t build the roads.

[majimasleftasscheek]

a different kind of trauma