#This one has the sad angst aplenty

[adelha-mathilde]

I just had the most devastating thoughts for Trigun fanfiction. Where Vash and Adelha end up adopting children after they wed. Under a read more because this gets really sad and does not let up.

Imagine. They take in a few babies with terminal illnesses. Ones who need special care for whatever few months they get.

Vash would love each little bundle with his whole being. Like that kind of love where he just will not put this baby down for any reason. Vash hoarders every single second of time he will get with this precious baby. Adelha right there with him to comfort them both when the tears fall and the pain hits.

When they have to say goodbye to their darling baby, it destroys Vash. Like all the life and light just get snuffed out for him to be too out of it to even stand. But Adelha understands and always handles things. Placing Vash in a bed or rocking chair as her extended family rallies around their grief. Many of them are able to give thanks or praise over the joy that was found. Tender kindness given as Vash mourns this perfect soul that he would never have had enough time with.

It takes a lot of gentle words and abiding love from his friends, family, and beloved wife. But Vash does find a way to say his goodbye to that priceless baby. So when Adelha believes the time has come to adopt again, Vash has a long moment with his wife.

Then the cycle begins anew. Another darling babe who needs love for what time they have. With Vash giving all of himself once more. Promising himself and all the little angels they love and lose he will never regret being their papa

[seabirdtxt]

man idk why but i just kinda want to make creator! reader's backstory SAD like they were tortured (?) just to keep the rest of humanity/teyvat safe.. like i am a SUCKER for sad/traumatic backstories!! just a little brainrot i need to get out!!

i'll keep this short and sweet i told myself. lmao. i forgot i'm a sucker for easy angst

Blood of God

Notes: Sagau cult au, cut-based injuries, blood sacrifice. bunch of fun stuff. Reader is the Creator, golden blood, etc. read at your own discretion

WC. 976

----- ⚘ -----

When you first descended into Teyvat, You were initially met with praise and celebration. Countless festivals were held in Your name. Your beloved characters, Your acolytes, were the first ones in line to beg for Your blessings.

That's when everything started to go downhill.

With the realization that Your physical presence in the world meant no more divine guidance, Your acolytes grew desperate for Your blessings. Blessings that You, as a mortal human being, could not grant. Not to the same degree that You used to, when You played the game and bestowed buffs and upgrades aplenty to all Your teams, and generously ascended even those You didn’t have plans for.

But now, even as You stand before them in flesh and blood, Your godlike abilities have been reduced to mere party tricks. You spoke to the animals, and twisted the breeze. You made flames dance with a single gesture, and grew pretty flowers in your footsteps. None of this helped the acolytes, though.

Interest in Your well-being, in You, dwindled. Your acolytes wished You well, the rare few even questioning Your divinity, and sent You on your merry way.

Abandoned and unarmed in a world full of hostile creatures, You took up jobs with the Adventurers Guild. First, it was fetching and delivering goods for the city citizens. Then, it was carrying messages across the countryside from town to town. Lastly, it was picking off monster camps that strayed too close to civilization.

This is where a few of your acolytes found You, injured and bleeding brass-coloured ichor into the dirt and swinging wildly with Your adventurer’s sword.

Deity or not, Your acolytes were not ones to stand idle while another was put in harm’s way. Into the fray they jumped, and fought by Your side despite their reservations about You.

In the heat of the battle, the acolytes noticed something strange. Those sprayed with Your blood were given increased strength and capability for a short while, until the stain dried and wore off.

Encouraged, they investigated further. Using some of Your blood as war paints extended the duration of the blessing by nearly double, coating their weapons with it would increase the effectiveness of their strikes, and a brave few discovered that ingesting it would boost them all-around for the entirety of the day.

Harken, and rejoice! For irrefutable proof of the Creator’s benevolent presence has been revealed! And You, desperate for their love and acceptance, gave it to them without question.

A beautiful, elaborate temple was built in Your honour, with ceremonial blades scattered throughout the decor and deep channels filled with ever-flowing ambrosia running across the floor. As Your holy blood continued to be spilled, the hue of it began to run a shimmering gold.

Those who sought Your blessings need only visit you in Your temple, bringing offerings of kill trophies and unearthed relics. Then, they would partake of Your divinity by their choice of method, dipping their reverent hands in the rivers of ichor that pulse across the temple grounds.

You haven’t stopped bleeding in months.

It was bearable at first, when the first time the channels were filled You were pleased to discover that they would not run dry for some time. When the acolytes came for lessings, you would only need to refill the trenches every few days.

You asked if they could bring You softer offerings, of sweet foods and thoughtful bouquets. Such shows of softness were dismissed with a laugh. What need did you have for plants, when the strength you gave them could afford you even the rarest and most difficult trophies to obtain?

But the Abyss came. Celestia’s wrathful gaze descended. Your acolytes were fighting a war on two fronts.

They came on their hands and knees, emptying your stores quicker than you could refill them. Eventually, you took to sitting in the golden throne with your preferred blade, sluggishly carving yourself open to ensure the continued survival of your beloved acolytes.

It wasn’t enough.

Please, they begged. Give us the strength You once were able to grant. Show us the stars in your eyes and in your blood once more, that we might fight and win in Your name.

Filled with fear, and hurt, and love, you gave them everything you had left.

Their lips and teeth stained with brilliant auric gore, they took to the fields once again. The Abyss fell before them, the cursed beasts of the land fell into disarray and fled into the winds. Celestia conceded victory.

The acolytes cheered and danced in the aftermath of their slaughter. Eager to show their renewed devotion, they returned home to You.

But Your temple had crumbled, and the deep wells that once held Your pulse have turned to dust. Your blessing was but glittering sand in their mouths as they sort through the rubble to find any traces of You.

There was no way to know who broke first. Your acolytes realized too late the price for Your continued generosity, and squandered Your love on chasing strength and war.

Your temple was rebuilt with petals replacing every blade. The grooves filled with the soil that was steeped with the blood of the fallen, and flowers of all shades of vibrant, terribly human red grew there.

Dendrobium and Mourning flowers. Even the azure Sea ganoderma bloomed in rare patches where water pooled deeper.

Had they loved You as a human and not as a seemingly bottomless resource, would You have stayed? The thought of such a question shamed them. You asked for their love and they’d given You their blades. You asked for sweets and they’d brought you the bones of their enemies.

And yet, You wanted to stay. Even as they literally bled You dry, You had only ever wanted their happiness, no matter the cost.

And heavy was the cost.

[freneticfloetry]

playlist: when a thing is over

me, apropos of nothing: the opening to “your ex-lover is dead” is tk strand’s breakup thesis. when there’s nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire.

because i’m unhinged, may i present the soundtrack to my neuroses: when a thing is over, the breakup era playlist that got me through writing the second chapter of to build a home.

(randomly, i have to write in total silence or i get distracted. but this was inspiration aplenty.)

some songs have direct ties to certain scenes, some are just here for the vibes. and much like the fic, the playlist is angst with a happy ending.

listen here

full tracklist under the cut.

Broken :: Lifehouse i'm falling apart, i'm barely breathing / with a broken heart that's still beating

Mine Again :: Black Lab every day, i will wait 'til you're mine again / i will die every day, 'til you're mine again

Strangers Again :: Ari Hest i want yesterday to come back again, nothing is as simple as i once knew / why can't everything be the way it was, before the day that i lost you

The Night We Met :: Lord Huron i had all and then most of you, some and now none of you / take me back to the night we met

Palace :: Sam Smith i'm gonna miss you, i'm still there / sometimes i wish we'd never built this palace, but real love is never a waste of time

Where I Stood :: Missy Higgins there were sounds in my head, little voices whispering / that i should go, and this should end, oh and i found myself listening

Death By A Thousand Cuts :: Taylor Swift you said it was a great love, one for the ages / but if the story's over, why am i still writing pages

Breathe Again :: Sara Bareilles all i have, all i need, he's the air i would kill to breathe / holds my love in his hands, still i'm searching for something

Not as We :: Alanis Morissette for now i’m faking it, 'til i’m pseudo making it / from scratch, begin again, but this time i as i, and not as we

Before You Go :: Lewis Capaldi our every moment, i start to replace / 'cause now that they're gone, all i hear are the words that i needed to say

Someone You Loved :: Lewis Capaldi now the day bleeds into nightfall, and you're not here to get me through it all / i let my guard down, and then you pulled the rug, i was getting kinda used to being someone you loved

Jealous :: Labrinth but i always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was heartbreak and misery / it's hard for me to say, i'm jealous of the way you're happy without me

Fly Before You Fall :: Cynthia Erivo your resistance to sadness is futile but you're a fighter, can't stand defeat / you're a magician at hiding the hurt from you, but i see and i hear you, loud as a bomb, wanting a shoulder to cry on

I'll Never Love Again :: Lady Gaga don't wanna feel another touch, don't wanna start another fire / don't wanna know another kiss, no other name falling off my lips

Stars :: Grace Potter & The Nocturnals i lit a fire with the love you left behind, and it burned wild and crept up the mountainside / i followed your ashes into outer space, i can't look out the window, i can't look at this place

Rivers & Roads :: The Head And The Heart nothing is as it has been, and i miss your face like hell / and i guess it's just as well, but i miss your face like hell

Echo :: Jason Walker i don't wanna be an island, i just wanna feel alive and get to see your face again / but 'til then, just my echo, my shadow, you're my only friend

Say Something :: A Great Big World and I am feeling so small / it was over my head, i know nothing at all

Not Over You :: Gavin DeGraw if you ask me how I'm doing, i would say I'm doing just fine / i would lie and say that you're not on my mind

Better :: Ben Platt i'm not good at pretending that i'm happy to be alone, part of me is a question, can't answer it on my own / 'cause i lost part of me when i lost all of you, now i'm lost

The Fear You Won’t Fall :: Joshua Radin it hasn’t felt like this before, it hasn’t felt like home before you / and i know it’s easy to say, but it’s harder to feel this way, and i miss you more than i should, than i thought i could, can’t get my mind off you

The Weight of Us :: Sanders Bohlke i'm not ready, i’m not ready / for the weight of us, for the weight of all of us

Every Little Thing :: Dishwalla don’t give me up, don’t give me up tonight / or soon nothing will be right at all, salvation / when you find out who you are, it’s too late to change

Collide :: Dishwalla when the cold comes crashing down, and the fight lost what it's about, i could tell that you had left / and it's a shame what we've become, when we hurt the ones we love, and it's a place i cannot go anymore

All I Want :: Kodaline when you said your last goodbye, i died a little bit inside, i lay in tears in bed all night, alone without you by my side / but if you loved me, why'd you leave me

Your Ex-Lover Is Dead :: Stars there's one thing i want to say so I'll be brave, you were what i wanted, i gave what i gave / i'm not sorry i met you, i'm not sorry it's over, i'm not sorry there's nothing to save

Afterglow :: Taylor Swift hey, it's all me, in my head, i'm the one who burned us down / but it's not what i meant, sorry that i hurt you

Come Home :: OneRepublic & Sara Bareilles come home, come home, 'cause i've been waiting for you for so long, for so long / and right now there's a war between the vanities, but all i see is you and me, and the fight for you is all i've ever known

Ghosts That We Knew :: Mumford & Sons so give me hope in the darkness that i will see the light, 'cause oh, they gave me such a fright / but i will hold as long as you like, just promise me we'll be alright

[winningwithlaughter]

Playing Games

I've often heard the expression "don't play games with me." It's an unusual expression that I understand, but don't vibe with, as it gives game playing a bad rap.

Games are meant to be playful, not manipulative, and the intent is to bring joy, excitement and even healthy competition to the moment.  It’s a departure from the grind, an energy shift into presence and the lightness of being. A game can serve to be a bonding, taking a group of individuals and giving them a group purpose. It’s an opportunity to focus, removing us from the cacophony of noises that pound on the daily into our senses. 

The word “playful” derives its meaning from the word “play,�� meaning that we’re filled (full) with play and joy.  No stressors exist from work or financial dealings. We’re in the moment, and that moment is anxiety free.  Unless, of course, the angst is from being competitive-about-stupid-shit like I am. I treat some games like the Super Bowl, even pulling a hamstring playing Charades.  Ever trying acting out “whole thing” of Titanic? Daddy went down with the ship, literally! 

One affirmation/confirmation I’ve heard many times is that I’m a good dad.  I would humbly agree.  Contrary to what kind of an ass I can be to adults, my four kids get a devoted and loving father 24/7. No matter what difficult circumstances are thrown this way, the centered ground of being a great parent cannot be tumbled. Fumbled, yes, tumbled, no.  The committed roots of love are too strong.  One thing my children will never grow up to work out in therapy is - “I was raised with no laughs by a boring man who never smiled.”  Ha!

Not having a dad in my life as a child reinforces the yearning to be an active, loving and supportive father to the four Shoemaker kids. I give them all I longed for as a boy.  

One thing that stayed with me, and inspires me aways to heal, is missing what the other kids had - playing with their pops.  I recall being so resentful of my neighbors, who had a large family unit, all referring to events as “my dad” this and “my dad” that.  I sarcastically called the oldest boy next door, “my dad,” acting as if he was trying to make me jealous, when indeed he was simply spelling out his activity that day.  “My dad is taking us to Phillies game.” Grrrr.  It would send me to envy and sadness, knowing I could never utter those words. 

One Father’s Day 18 years ago, my son Justin cued up the scene from Field of Dreams, where Kevin Costner’s character, Roy Kinsella, asks his ghost father, “do you want to have a catch?” With a devilish look on his face, Justin pressed play, and watched me bawl my eyes out, while begging him to stop the video.  

That classic film is all based in the world of the game of baseball, metaphoric meanings aplenty, with family love at the core.  All walks of life, varying goals and agendas, are all brought together by a game some have never even played.  They found bliss on a field created from dreams. We can do the same in our lives, creating a personal world that’s not so dark and serious, abundant with emotional freedom. 

My children thrive when we engage in games. Before bed I give them choices of invented family customs we play out.  Most often they choose trivia we call, “Keyser Soze,” where my knowledge nudgers are spawned from looking around the room, like Keyser Soze made up his story in the film, The Unusual Suspects.  For instance, I spy the vertical window blinds and ask, “what blind singer sang Georgia?” 

We laugh a lot, even if it’s making fun of me for asking a dumb question.  I’ll trip on a banana peel for them.  Laughter is the greatest form of intimate unity.  

I say we humans pull away from the evil triad of fear, doubt and worry, and jump on the train of love, light and laughter.  If happiness is the goal, then there will be less “mind games” to worry about.  You get to create your own energetic space, and the mean folks will go away when your vibe is about fun.  

What kind of games do you play with your loved ones and friends? Share that.  It’s better than sharing a photo of your ass in a thong at a beach we’re not at! 

Oh. Gotta go. My kids have a Frisbee, waiting for their dad to play…on the sand…in front of our luxury hotel…in sunny Maui…where you’re not.  

Hahaha.  Just playing with you.  Have a fun day, wherever you’re playing your games! 

[vickyvicarious]

Headcanon ask: Nate Ford

Headcanon A:  realistic

Back when he and Sterling worked together and were more openly friends, there were subtle mind games aplenty. The whole thing had less weight behind it, but there was still a lot of elements that we saw in their relationship in the show. The biggest one I can think of is when Nate basically forced Sterling to play Hot and Cold with him to get the clue... that sort of thing, but both of them. Obviously they were constrained by professionalism and affection but they absolutely had subtle prank wars or messed with one another all the time. It was the kind of thing that from the outside may have made some other people in the office think they hated one another, but honestly they were just playing together. There was still rivalry of course, but since both were internally 100% convinced that they were better than the other and would prove it eventually, there weren’t super hard feelings about it or anything. The main problem was that they didn’t get openly sincere with one another, and so more personal stuff like what was going on with Sam, or Sterling’s own messy family issues with his daughter/divorce just never really got brought up in conversation. This is one of the main reasons they drifted apart, because Nate was not in a place to interact the way he had before, and Sterling didn’t know how to bridge that gap and support him, especially while he had his own stuff going on.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Nate’s section of the con dress-up closet is by far the largest. You would think it’s Sophie, but you’d be wrong. Nate has a lot of WEIRD outfits that take up a lot of space and he chooses them all himself thank you very much. Hardison and Tara laughed at Eliot’s look in the Runway job but Nate came prepared for that too with that absolutely bonkers look, all on his own. He has like at least ten other distinctly loud and awful Jimmy Papadokolis suits. He also has a gigantic collection of hats and every single one has its own hatbox. Some of the weirdest elements of the other team members’ costumes actually were stolen from Nate’s section.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

(This started lighthearted as the realistic headcanon, but I moved it down here after the rabbithole took me to some sad thought.) Nate was a really dorky dad. Like this or this, but basically all the time. He and Maggie didn’t have a perfect relationship, and he wasn’t exactly a beacon of optimism and joy at any point, but his family meant so so much to him. Especially Sam, and the relationship he had with him. Nate lived in a somewhat constant state of amazement that he got to be a dad, that he got to have a kid who loved him and liked spending time with him. He got super excited to do “dad things” - especially when they were far removed from his memories of his own dad. There was definitely angst about not being a good dad, but while it recurred even later on, he mostly got over it when Sam was still really young, because he felt that he had so tangibly “gotten out.” When Sam got sick, Nate soon started getting pretty manic and scary. He’d be praying/cursing out God, goofing around with Sam, verbally tearing people to shreds, putting together a well-reasoned and very impassioned proposal for his boss to help him out, seeking comfort with Maggie, lashing out at Maggie, solving a fraud case in an unusually reckless way... all in the same day. However, he did a really good job even till the very end of keeping a mostly brave/reassuring face up around Sam, of indulging him and managing to seem relatively lighthearted and reassuring. After Sam died Nate physically destroyed a lot of little projects they’d done together and that sort of thing in a fit of drunken rage and grief, and the drawing we see that one time is one of the few things left. That was actually the first big schism between him and Maggie, because Nate was taking away her mementos as well. The very few times Nate ever visited Sam’s grave, he never was able to let down his goofy dad facade and face up to his grief, as though Sam could still hear him and needed the reassurance of dumb jokes or whatever. Every time he left, he went straight to a bar to get drunk.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

NATE DIDN’T HYPNOTIZE HARDISON.

Nate, in fact, eventually was able to find it in himself to have more genuine fatherly moments with Hardison. He was avoiding doing so for a long time, because it was easy to see Hardison kind of seeking that from him and it just brought back memories of Sam far too much. But being able to step into that role with Parker was easier since she wasn’t asking it of him in the same way, and the idea of a ‘daughter’ didn’t have the same kind of baggage, etc. Eventually this made it easier to support Hardison when he needed it, or even to reach out first. He stopped being so abrasive in his advice or corrections and gave Hardison more genuine compliments and support. Not all the time, but definitely more often, and he stepped up for him when he saw he needed it. I think this was implied by Redemption calling Nate Hardison’s father that one time, but I don’t think canon earned that really enough to say it that way. In my head, they did more so, although I still don’t think Nate would ever openly describe their relationship that way.

.

send me a character and I’ll answer with 4 headcanons

[sesskagarchive]

I'm sorry to bother you, but I've read a couple of widower!kagome fics, but I can't the one I'm looking for. I was wondering if you would be willing to compile a rec list for a widowed Kagome, since I would love to see if I can find that fic I read, and maybe find some new ones too. The one I'm looking for had Kagome marry Seehomaru after Inuyasha died, because Reasons (reasons mostly being they were single parents). But I'd be open to just about anything along those lines.

Thank you for your time. I appreciate it! ♡♡♡

No bother at all, my dear! Here’s some that I could find and so sorry to have kept you waiting for so long, RL has been busy!

- Admin Chie & Admin Sage

By the Sword by Miss Kagura

Posted on: Dokuga, FFnet Rating: MA Summary: Live by the sword, die by the sword." After Inuyasha's untimely death at   Sesshoumaru's hand, Kagome is forced to embrace a lifestyle she never   wanted, only to find a future and a goal she wants more than anything.   SessKag. Status: Abandoned

Duty of the Heart  by Goddess of the Moonlit Sky

Posted on: FFnet Rating: K+ Summary: Alternate Universe: He knew what he had to do. His brother was now gone  leaving behind his grieving widow. So Sesshomaru did his duty and  married his brother's wife. But he never expected to love her. 

Even Angels Fall by MoonliteCrescndo

Posted on: Spark, FFnet Rating: NC17 Summary: After the death of her lover, Kagome must enlist the help of her   personal bodyguard, Sesshomaru, to solve the mystery of why anyone would   want to attempt to murder her father. With danger afoot and mystery   aplenty, can romance ensue?

Family Ties by Fluffy’s Lady

Posted on: Spark Rating: MA Summary: Inuyasha loved Kagome, Kagome loved Inuyasha.  Both of them loved their   daughter.  What will happen when Inuyasha dies and Sesshomaru comes to   take care of Kagome and her daughter out of family duty?  Only time will  tell... Status: Abandoned

Flower, Bird, Wind, Moon by thetroll  

Posted on: AO3, Dokuga, FFnet Rating: MA Summary: After InuYasha's untimely demise, Sesshomaru finds himself saddled with  more problems than he cares to deal with. But duty and honor hold him  firm in the new path his life has taken, even though it means that he  must find a way to restore the wife InuYasha left behind back to life  after she has retreated so far within herself that no other can reach  her. Six-shot because evidently I can't stick to the four-shot I'd  intended.

Forbidden Child by inumaru_rapture

Posted on: Spark Rating: E Summary: After the war with Naraku... Kagome is alone, traveling the Feudal Era  with no will to survive--save for the child growing in her... Rated for   death/angst Status: One Shot

Honor Bound by NomDePlume

Posted on: AO3, Dokuga, FFnet Rating: MA Summary: Kagome is faced with a harsh reality after Inuyasha dies unexpectedly,   leaving her alone to defend their small child. Without any options left,  she is forced to seek Sesshoumaru's aid Status: Hiatus

I Will Never Forget by Lady Fae

Posted on: Dokuga Rating: T Summary: The death of a loved one can be a cause to much sadness and pain. Her   decision in returning to the future ends when the well is magic-less,   and the one to help her is the Lord of the West. Even as a relationship of some sort is starting to form, can he deal with the fact that she   cannot forget her first love? Can she adapt with him and learn to forget  InuYasha? Read & find out! Status: Abandoned

In My Brother's House by Yabou

Posted on: Dokuga Rating: T Summary: Widowed once, Kagome is bound to an estranged husband with little chance  at love. With a few lessons in love, can Sesshoumaru hope to conquer  her weary heart? Status: One Shot

Life After Loss by Chie

Posted on: AO3, Dokuga, FFnet Rating: MA Summary: This was not the happily ever after Kagome had always dreamt about. This   could not be happening to her, not after everything they had gone   through... She never knew that her whole world could screech to a  complete halt in a blink of an eye.

Nothing Worth Having by CaliforniaCougar

Posted on: FFnet Rating: T Summary: 10 years after the death of Naraku and 8 years after the death of   Inuyasha, Kagome goes to the Castle of the West in search of happiness. What she gets is an assassination attempt, a plot to destroy the Western  Lands, and... romance? One thing is for sure: nothing worth having ever  comes easy. SessKag Status: Abandoned

Of the Mourning by Kagome Yuki Niwa

Posted on: Dokuga Rating: T Summary: With  the death of Inuyasha she was losing her sanity and possibly her  life  and the life of the child growing within her womb. Left with little   choice, her friends call upon the most unlikely of saviors and hope   that he can prevent further tragedy by completely disregarding the   consequences of his aid. A story told in snippets Status: Abandoned

Out of the Ashes  by  Lynn  

Posted on: Dokuga Rating: MA Summary:  Sesshoumaru gives Kagome back her life when she is killed. With everyone  else gone, the well is closed, and the only one she has is InuYasha's  son and his brother what will the miko do? Status: Abandoned

Sesshomaru and His Love by Kimberly Morris  

Posted on: Dokuga Rating: MA Summary: Kagome is now a widow. Sesshomaru vowed to Inuyasha that if something  would happen to him that he would take care of Kagome, since she is his   sister-in-law. He would had an obligation to her anyway. Will love   bloom? Or will they stay apart? Also there's also an unexpected surprise  for Sesshomaru. There'll be a new foe to contend with. Who is it? Why is it after them? Read and find out!

The Fall of the House of Taisho by Kanna37

Posted on: Dokuga, FFnet Rating: M Summary: After a few moments, he murmured, "We are the last, Kagome. I felt it  were best if we went together, rather than singly, and alone. Was I  wrong in this belief? Would you have preferred to die alone?" 3rd Best  Darkfic Dokuga 4th quarter 2010.

Whiskey Lullabye by Sesshoumaru's Fiend

Posted on: Spark Rating: PG13 Summary: *{Edited}* Brad Paisley and Allison Kraus Song: Whiskey Lullaby [Song Fic] Rated PG-13 For Suicide Status: One Shot

YASHAHIME!  A Palatable Option by susie 

Posted on: AO3, Dokuga, FFnet Rating: T Summary: This is me working through my sequel anxieties with my fantasy version   given the info we have received thus far.  For SESSKAG week 2020, day 5:  horror.  (and later, days 6 & 7 will be added!!)  enjoy...

You and I by Reira   

Posted on: Dokuga Rating: M Summary: It's been thirteen long years since the well closed. Suddenly Kagome is widowed and her life is turned upside down when a Mr Taisho offers her a job. A grieving Kagome must suddenly face familiar faces she thought she would never see again. Status: One Shot

[silvysartfulness]

I got tagged by @ameliarating and @veliseraptor to do this writer meme thing!

How many works do you have on AO3?

Six. I only started posting fic on AO3 last year. Before that, many long years ago, I used my own websites and LiveJounal.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

177481. The absolute majority of which is of course Heaven Has A Road.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

On AO3, only The Untamed.

But before that, I've written for Disney Afternoon's Aladdin, Slayers, Kingdom Hearts, Assassin's Creed, and one-shot fics for my own original verses as well as my friends'.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Heaven Has A Road But No One Walks It at 1194, unsurprisingly. It's my magnum opus on AO3.

Blanket Statement at 302. The first fic I wrote for the Untamed, and the first thing I posted on AO3 (Thank you, Lise, for holding my hand and walking me through it!)

And To Many More at 169

High Noon In Deserted City at 96, which is sort of funny, since it's just a picture and about 1000 words. But the premise is fun! Still hoping for some hungry writer to adopt it and write something for it. :)

Self-Inflicted at 75.

Which checks out, I guess – the longest fic with the most readers comes first, then the fluff, then the funny and finally the angsty and fucked up. XD

I still suspect The Plotbunny of Doom / The Renegades for Kingdom Hearts would score as my all time highest, though, if LJ likes and comments translated to the AO3 format. That fic took me and two friends three whole years to write together, was 104 chapters long and over 300k.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I really try! Comments mean everything to me, and I want to reply to them all! But when I'm low on spoons (which is unfortunately often) I fall hopelessly behind, and then the catching up becomes an impossible-looking chore in and of itself.

I should really set some time aside every day to catch up on the last few chapters' worth of comments... I do love the interaction and discussion a good comment can spawn!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hm... I write a ton of angst, but only a few actually have sad endings. I'd say Eaten counts, as does Self-Inflicted, I guess. TPBoD had a very open ending that was still definitely on the somewhat hopeless side.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Mm, it's not usually my favourite genre (though I mean, the whole Kingdom Hearts verse is a crossover in and of itself) but it depends a lot on the source material. I guess TPBoD might soft-count, since we tossed in a bunch of non-canon references with all the world-jumping.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not as such? Oh yeah, I do recall getting a very upset comment on a non-con fic I wrote back in the KH days, by someone who couldn't conceive how you could claim to love a character and then write such horrible things happening to them. But you get those occasionally. Look, crushing my favourite characters is therapy. Doesn't mean I don't love them.

The Russian fandom are loudly aggressive in their comments on some chapters of Heaven Has A Road, but that's more focused on the characters, not me personally.

On the whole, I've been pretty spared. But then, there's little point in sending hate; I just block.

Do you write smut? if so what kind?

Oh, absolutely. Haven't really gotten to that point in the posted chapters of Heaven Has A Road yet, but we're about to unleash it aplenty in the upcoming ones.

What kind? Most kinds, I guess? Soft and fluffy, aggressive and snarly, consensual, dubcon, non-con. Mostly mlm but I've written het, too. Can't remember if I've written wlw, but I've certainly headcanoned/drawn it. A bit of kink is nice.

I prefer focusing on the chemistry and sensations when I write porn, rather than detailed physical smacking and squelching and body fluids, but that's just my personal preference and writing style.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of? Not that I can remember? I have my art stolen regularly, and I've had my online identity stolen, but I don't think anyone's stolen anything I've written...

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Heaven Has A Road is being translated into Russian, and I'm insanely honoured and flattered!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes – TPBoD aka The Plot Bunny of Doom, aka The Renegades, for Kingdom Hearts. I wrote it over ten years ago together with a friend and my now wife. It was a monster of a fic, I think about 320k, and the fact that we were three people helping and pushing and encouraging each other really helped keep it going!

I don't know if I would have the focus for something like it now, but it was an amazing experience I'll always treasure.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Oh man, that changes with each hyperfixation... I may have to say Marluxia/Vexen for Kingdom Hearts, simply because it's a ship that's been around in my life for so long. I still occasionally go back to read favourite bits of the fics I wrote for them, including TPBoD.

Currently it's SongXueXiao from The Untamed, of course, and a very strong contender overall! I've dabbled a bit in poly ships before, but this is the first time I have one as my main, and I'm love them.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Uh. I don’t really have any? Because of my burnout-brain, I can only really focus on one major project at a time, and that's currently heaven has A Road. And I'm really, really hoping I will be able to finish it!

It's all plotted out, I just need to write the stupid thing. Working on it.

What are your writing strengths?

Hm, I'd say that I've developed a voice/prose over the years that I'm actually quite happy with! And I'm good at conveying/invoking emotion, if going solely by how many people comment that I've made them cry. :D

I enjoy writing dialogue, and I love working with layers of symbolism.

What are your writing weaknesses?

The actual writing process. 🙄 I'm extremely uneven and unstructured in getting the actual words down. Also convoluted and inflated text at times - sometimes I write a lot of words without actually saying anything. And English is my second language, so just nailing the correct phrasing and grammar can be a headache at times.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If it impacts the plot – like the POV character not understanding it, then maybe. And using terms that can't be translated, absolutely! Other than that, there's little point in making a text harder for the reader to grasp by tossing in whole sections in another language for clout. Is my personal view, at least, of course other writers may disagree.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

My first online fandom that I wrote fic for was Disney Afternoon's Aladdin show. Before that, I wrote original fic. And before that, before the internet was A Thing, I'd write and draw for stories that captivated me, just for my own entertainment. If you count that, I'd probably say Phantom of the Opera was my first – I had a whole ”everyone is a horse because that's what I know how to draw” AU when I was about 10 or so, that I'd draw lots of pictures for. When I was even younger, I used to make up stories for my younger brothers, based on movies and series we had watched together. I've always been a storyteller, one way or another, if only in my own head. I wouldn't know how not to.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I would have to say Heaven Has A Road, even though it's still unfinished. It's the first work of that sheer scope I have ever attempted by myself, and I'm honestly insanely proud of myself for what I have accomplished already!

Second would be TPBoD – The Renegades. Even though that was a shared effort, it's a very long fic that we managed to bring all the way to its intended conclusion, and I'm very proud of that, too!

Plus there are bits of both these fics I really like, and that I will go back and read for my own enjoyment occasionally.

tagging: @orodrethsgeek, @ebonykain, @fromaliminalspace, @chigrima, @soawen

[whirlybirbs]

;   NIGHTFALL & DAYBREAK   ---   1 OF 2.

summary: you’ve grown close to obi-wan kenobi in his time warring with the trade federation upon naboo. but, as his time spent upon diplomacy comes to an end with the death of his master and knighting, you must say goodbye to the man you’ve come to care for.  ;   ---   read part two here! pairing: handmaiden!reader x padawan!obi-wan, established in a few drabbles of mine that can be read here. wordcount: 1.8k warnings: none, just a lotta angst & tenderness.  a/n: i was sad about obi, ok?

Qui-Gon is laid to rest at nightfall.

In that small, royal chapel overlooking the lake country and vast waterfalls surrounding the Theed palace, the Jedi Master finds peace. Under the glow of moonlight, his soul joins the well of the Force in the afterlife – his mortal body forgotten in a bath of flames.

Your eyes can hardly leave the face of the now-Jedi Knight across the room – Obi-Wan is standing tall, hood pulled over his head and eyes set on the sight of his Master’s laying-to-rest before him. The gaze there is hollow, lacking his usual vivaciousness, and his mouth is pulled into a tight grimace.

He does not cry. He will not.

Not in front of the Royal Court.

Not in front of Anakin.

Shoulder to shoulder with the other handmaidens, your heart aches to cross the room and hold him; you wish for nothing more than to soothe the grief set so firmly across his face with a kiss. But, instead, you stay rooted in your place, throat tight with worry and mourning, as a good handmaiden would. You are simply that – not the woman the Jedi Knight has come to care for. You serve the Queen, and he serves the Force, and after this… well, he will be tasked with training Anakin and the likelihood that you may never see him again is one you’ve tried to avoid confronting.

Your heartstrings snap violently at the thought; enough to make you sick.

That night, you’re one of the last to leave – paying your respects to the Jedi Master, you bow in prayer, before touching the altar and finding Obi-Wan’s eyes. He’s staring, far-off from this moment, but softens at the sight of you.

You retire early – finding yourself drowning in the despair that hangs over the palace; your balcony doors are open, welcoming the warm summer breeze as you swipe at stray tears. Curled in a tight ball upon your sheets, you try to calm yourself down. It’s to no avail. Your satin nightgown, dark as the night-sky, clings to you as you try your best to swallow your all-encompassing grief and knot your fingers in your hair. You worry the tresses. You try to breathe.

Obi-Wan would want you to be strong – you need to be. For him.

You’re about to gather a robe and set out to find him when there’s a faint knock upon your door; you know it’s him, just from the rhythmic peck of his knuckles against the wood. It’s his staple, slower now and weighed down with exhaustion.

The moment you fling the door open, you’re greeted by his tear-stained face in the dimly lit hall. The warm light from your bedroom swallows him completely  and shows his pain, clear-as-day, strewn across his face. His eyes are raw, swollen and tired. His robes hang off him, sleeves stretched and worried.

Upon the sight of you, equally as heartbroken as himself, he chokes a sob.

Quickly, you usher him into an embrace – it’s tight, the kind where he wraps his arms around your ribs and buries his face into your neck; his chest quakes, suddenly, and you push fingers through his hair as he muffles another cry into your skin.

Your heart aches. Shatters, nearly. The sound is horrifying.

You urge him up, fingers falling along his jaw to wipe away the falling tears. You can’t help your own sadness, now flowing across your cheeks – you whisper softly:

“Come lay down.”

He obeys wordlessly, nodding shakily as you close the doors to your bedroom behind him. He’s on the edge of the bed, knees bouncing and chest shaking – his face is in his hands, tears staining the dark wool of his robes – when you return to him.

You fall beside Obi-Wan, wiping your own tears away, as you croak out a soft apology.

“I’m sorry,” you breathe, hands finding his shoulders, “I’m so sorry, Obi –”

He shakes his head, swallowing his grief for a moment as he looks up at you; his face is soft, echoes of appreciation set in the tiredness of his blue-green eyes. “He was… He was one of my closest friends. He taught me all that I know and –”

Obi’s voice cracks, splintering into shards of heartbreak that he tries to catch in his open palms.

It hurts. You feel it drive straight through your chest.

You rub his back, turned completely to him on the bed – your other hand moves to steal his, knotting eager fingers in his hold. He squeezes them tightly as he speaks.

“I’m scared.”

You exhale softly, leaning to take his face into your hands. He lets you guide his gaze, face within inches of yours as you speak kindly.

“Obi-Wan… You have nothing to be afraid of,” you murmur, thumb gracing his cheek, “You are kind and loving and strong and… You are ready for whatever the Jedi Council wills. I know that – as do you, deep down. Master Qui-Gon knew as much as well. And Anakin –”

He winces, trying to pull away. You, however, don’t let him. You hold his face a bit tighter.

“Anakin is lucky to have you in his life.”

He’s quiet for a while, lips moving to try and find some words to explain how he’s feeling, but… the longer you hold him, face wrought with worry, the more he sense you may be right, and perhaps fearing fear itself is what his mind has begun to do. A vicious cycle, Master Yoda had once said.

He exhales slowly, turning on the bed to encompass your hand with his own upon his cheek. Obi-Wan turns, kissing your palm gently and letting his eyes slip shut.

You sigh. He kisses your fingertips, one by one.

It’s when he opens his eyes that you know you cannot live life without him. That look – one warm, kind look – spells out the love that has grown between you both in the last handful of weeks.

You wonder what your life was like before he waltzed into it, lightsaber in hand and charm aplenty.

…You find you can’t remember. Nor do you want to.

“Obi-Wan, I –”

“– I will not forget about you,” he breathes, “I… I don’t believe I could if I tried.”

You wonder if he’s reading your mind.

Certainly not, he could never – you’re not weak-minded. You’re strong and radiant and glowing in his heart with the same centeredness that the Force creates; he feels no fear when you’re present, only calm and only love. More love than he knows what to do with.

“I return to Coruscant tomorrow evening,” Obi-Wan continues, noting the way you turn your gaze from him. Through your skin he can feel the discomfort at the idea ripple around you like a roaring river within the Force. It drives a great cavernous divide between his words, the hurt striking him in the lungs and robbing him of his composure, “I-I’m sorry – it is my duty –”

His voice wavers. You swipe at the tears welling quickly, nodding.

“I understand,” you manage, letting him move to dart a slow kiss across your cheek, “You are sworn to the Jedi. It is selfish of me to want you for myself.”

His chest aches. Gentle eyes roam your face, his hands now cradling yours.

“If you asked,” he mutters, gaze falling to your lips, “I would leave the Jedi Order.”

You recoil. “Obi-Wan –”

“Utter it once and I will; you have… you have stolen my heart,” he exhales slowly, a small smile coming to his face, “I tell you that because I know –”

“I would never ask that of you.”

You finish his sentence with your protesting, all without even realizing it.

A slow smile creeps onto his face that reminds you of home. “Exactly.”

You manage a laugh – cheeks glistening with tears and lids swollen with heartache – and duck your face when he runs his fingers through the hair along your temples. He urges forward, sandy brows raised.

“I mean it.”

“I know you do.”

“Visit me,” he breathes, “On Coruscant.”

“…Will you write?”

Obi-Wan’s heart nearly melts with the quiet hesitancy that you ask – he’s putty in your hands, leaning into a kiss that is warm with love and reassurance; you smile at that, happily pulling away as his hands cradle your cheeks and chase the question with his affections.

“Of course!” he lands another kiss on the corner of your mouth, then another on your jaw as you squirm, “You need not to ask –”

“You are a Jedi Knight now!” you cry quietly, in good humor, “You may not have time for a simple handmaiden from Naboo…”

He pulls away, eyes shining with an emotion that makes your heart feel like it’s finally anchored after a storm.

“You are the most beautiful woman in the galaxy. The stars are jealous of your beauty; you outshine the moon, and the twin suns on Tatooine chase your wonder across the sky everyday – I promise you that I will always have time for you.”

The sob that escapes you startles not only yourself, but Obi-Wan.

You find his arms easily, burying your face into his chest as you both fall to the sheets. He’s quick to coo, hands rubbing along the bare dip of your spine, and mutter words of apology – you cling to his robes tightly.

“Stay tonight,” you breathe between sniffles, raising your head to eye him sprawled against the pillows, “Beside me.”

He doesn’t protest. Just kisses you sweetly, and nods, nose brushing yours as you prop yourself up on his chest – the Jedi Knight’s gaze is heavy with adoration as you do, swiping at the tears along your cheeks.

“You mean the world to me,” he says.

“And you to me.”

As the moon wanes in the sky, you fall asleep in the arms of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Come morning break, everything will be different.

You try your best to pretend sunrise will never come. You hardly sleep, waking to kiss him a hundred times throughout the night. He does the same, trying his best to remember the dips of your body, the curve of your smile, the color of your eyes. Sleep is restless and unwanted. Both of you evade it in favor of each other.

But morning comes as it always does, and after breakfast, Obi-Wan leaves on a Senate transport – Anakin’s hand in his.

The last you see of Obi-Wan Kenobi is a sad smile as the ramp closes with a hiss. The last he sees of you is a tearful smile, hidden beneath a pale pink hood, as you stay rooted beside the Queen of Naboo.  

Until two years later.

[naturepointstheway]

Feeling sad? Love Beauty and the Beast? Want fluffy kid fics? Let me brighten your day with warmth and sunshine.

I have fluffy Beauty and the Beast kid!fics aplenty, for your enjoyment. I know how much a lot of the BatB squad (especially @batbobsession and @lumiereswig) love my little Adam or Chip fics, so here they are, all in one place.

@morgaine2005 @rose-of-the-underworld @astudyinchocolate @tinydooms @sweetfayetanner @dand3l1on-fluff et al.

ETA: Wow, thought I had more fluffy stuff in there esp with tiny Adam, but no most are angst. Dammit, I need to step up on the kid!fic fluff for once.

Tiny Prince Adam:

https://naturepointstheway.tumblr.com/post/178616392736/apples-and-summer

Plumette teaches Adam how to climb a tree!

http://naturepointstheway.tumblr.com/post/169785191746/knitting-the-sunset

Four-year-old old Prince Adam comes across Mrs Potts sitting on a bench, deep in a knitting project. Mrs Potts invites him to join her and asks him to help her knit the sunset into the wool.

http://naturepointstheway.tumblr.com/post/178893973296/secret-library-batb-2017-fanfic

Plumette and Lumiere show Adam a literary surprise discovered in a nook of the castle. Pre-curse.

http://naturepointstheway.tumblr.com/post/164767992376/scarce-to-be-counted-beauty-and-the-beast

Determined to prove to his mother he can count all the stars, little prince Adam tries to do just that, with the help of Plumette and Lumiere.

http://naturepointstheway.tumblr.com/post/165448920766/wordlessly-breathtaking-beauty-and-the-beast

Plumette shows young Prince Adam a beautiful view through a telescope.

http://naturepointstheway.tumblr.com/post/166808498246/day-2130-of-batb-lines-prompts-the-greatest

Young Prince Adam is very adept at hunting down lions. I mean dandelions. Not actual lions.

https://naturepointstheway.tumblr.com/post/185979308553/opera-batb14fics

Prince Adam writes an opera for Lumiere for the latter’s birthday.

https://naturepointstheway.tumblr.com/post/186315835881/rouge-batb14fics

A toddler-age Prince Adam discovers his mother’s stash of makeup and decides to be his own makeup artist.

Chip Potts is chipper and cute!

http://naturepointstheway.tumblr.com/post/175412418631/he-exits-pursued-by-a-bear-batb-post-curse

Adam is attacked by a pint-sized lion that looks a lot like Chip.

http://naturepointstheway.tumblr.com/post/166423589511/day-1230-batb-line-prompts-i-havent-performed

Adam and Chip convince Lumiere to redo the “Be Our Guest” performance at dinner. 

http://naturepointstheway.tumblr.com/post/165980698881/day-230-of-batb-lines-prompts-pouf-pouf

Chip has found a new kitten and wants the prince to help him give it a name. Post-curse.

https://naturepointstheway.tumblr.com/post/182020533976/adventure

Chip and Adam discover that the Atlas can take them to the moon itself (with built in protection from the airless environs of course, thanks to Agathe’s forward thinking.)

[sierranovembr]

Top 5 Favorite Fics That Unapologetically Obliterate Canon

#5: Bitter and Sweet by nightwalker

Bucky's having a rough night. Fortunately he's got a coping mechanism. And good friends.

Stony; 1k.  This fic is SO sweet.  I hope it’s canon somewhere out in the multiverse, but for the MCU, this much fluff and love really does obliterate canon.

#4: Like Running Water Slipping Through My Fingers by gncurrier, IndigoNight, reena_jenkins

In the end, they don't find the Winter Soldier. They find Bucky Barnes, knocking on a door in Brooklyn and wondering why his Ma won't let him inside.

Stuckony; 38k. A fifty first dates-ish AU with angst aplenty for all three boys, but a beautiful, rewarding ending.

#3: December 19, 1991 by Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar)

It is December 19, 1991 and Tony Stark is sleeping. This is significant for several reasons. For a start, this is the first he’s slept since sometime early on December 16th. He’s gone without sleep for longer—both with and without the intervention of illegal stimulants—so it isn’t so much that as it is the fact that his parents haven’t been alive since December 16th.

Winteriron; 4k. I must have read this fic and its sequel a million times and it still strikes me as creative, sad, and sweet.

#2: Imperceptions and Assumptions by NarutoRox

Afterward, Bucky would look back on their first meeting with fondness and a healthy dose of amusement. At the time, though, he’d mostly been confused - and more than a little embarrassed.

Winteriron; 16k.  A gender-bent, identity-porn, Winteriron retelling of IM3.  What’s not to love?  Poor Bucky has some fantastic conversations with Steve, Toni, and Iron Man on his way to their happy ending.

#1: You Only Live Twice by Amethystina

When Tony meets Sergeant James Barnes, he knows his life will never be the same again. Falling in love is dangerous while in the middle of a war, especially when society refuses to accept love between two men, but they're helplessly drawn to each other. Every second they share is precious beyond words, even more so because Tony knows that Bucky might not return to him one day. Tony isn't sure if he'll survive losing Bucky.

When Bucky falls, Tony feels like he dies with him. What point is there to keep on living when Bucky isn't there? But, despite the loss and grief, Tony does survive. He's not sure why he soldiers on, year after year, considering how pointless it feels. He knows he'll never get to see Bucky again.

Until one day, seventy years into the future, he does.

Winteriron; 23k.  I love the romance between Tony and Bucky, and the beautiful, painful angst of Tony’s long life after the war.  Big fan of Tony and Steve’s friendship here too.  One of my very favorite fics.

[deilands]

Authenticity in Transition

“Some writers confuse authenticity, which they ought always to aim at, with originality, which they should never bother about.” – W.H. Auden

I’ve written a lot over the past month or so. Some of it has been fiery and some of it has been contemplative. Recently I’ve been called to task by someone important to me about a few things. The best way I can summarize these things seems to be wrapped up in the questions of authenticity.  

“Tone: Think of all the ways you strived for being better and more and higher and devout-er as a Christian… you seem to be doing all of those same behaviors, same stilted language. For whom?” –anon

I have this problem. I’ve described it before as transitional fire. Whenever I am moving away from one thing to another or whenever I am changing from someone to someone else I tend to blaze away. I become like the incredible (or not-so-incredible) hulk and I write in language and patterns that suggest anger and rage and disgust.

I can go back to my old journals and blogs and find my transitionary phases. I can find the places when I change from one thing to another – whether by logical choice or by emotional movement – and I can find in those places some of this same fire. Seventeen or so years ago, I was in one of these places. My Christianity was firmly intact and I was for the time angry at what I viewed as the overall hypocrisy of the church. I find it amusing now, looking back, how close I was and how far I was from who I am today.

I will never claim to be a poet – really. Sometimes I write poetry. Most of the time it’s horrible stuff with a rhyme and meter that’s not even remotely fun. In this previous of time, I was expressing myself in blogs and poetry aplenty and I want to post one that got me into trouble back then. It’s not long and it may give proof to what I mean by this transitory problem that I have.

Tattered Dresses - 3/25/2003

All the bells were silent Except the one to toll the funeral Of the murdered Sons of I The bloody corpse of Am The bridesmaid's dresses a tattered remnant Of her casket gleaming brown Never let it be said that she, the bride, While losing breath to putrid kisses Should breathe the rotting stench of life Holding in air of the earth The flower-girl hanging from the tree of life Her dress ripped from her body's smiling face There were ten virgins met by rapists Ended that line bitter quick Taking their oil with slapstick faces While the former asked for more And found their flasks then broken The Maid of Honor against the wall Beauty's dress a remnant of lingerie from prying eyes Can it be said that the steeple Of our churches reveal our nude form While praying piously from the pews of bitter wood We call ourselves the bride of I The lover's call of Am goes forth But we still mend our dress before the marriage Of the man we've engaged then lost to earth When will life return?

See what I mean? I have other stuff that is much more contemplative much like this entry is interspersed with this odd disgust or rage at where perhaps I viewed myself being mere months before. And so I come to the point of this post.

I’m not sure what authenticity looks like. A very dear friend of mine used to say to me that I tend to make excuses for my own feelings. I still find myself doing this. I say how I feel and then I create the reasons that I feel that way instead of letting the feelings simply be what they are. I get hurt or angry or sad or depressed and if it is due to someone else I look for ways to absolve them even while I at times work against them.

This transition for me is different than others. In the past, I always had this concept of Jesus the Christ who wanted things to be right but was looking for mankind to get their shit together. Here – in this place – it’s almost like I’ve realized that it is God who never got his shit together. Worse – he vacated the premises a long time ago. The great I am simply never was. And all of my railing and anger and desire and hope and feeling of chosen-ness was simply my own internal stuff.

I was listening to a podcast today and something was mentioned that did strike home. We don’t suddenly change when we lose faith. We stay the same people. We care the same. We love the same. We value the same things. I still show a lot of angst when it comes to the things that I believe or stop believing in. I still use harsh language while I’m processing because in some ways I’m still convincing myself.

It would be a lie if I said that I don’t pray anymore or don’t somehow get the feeling that there is a grander narrative to my life. Sometimes I still get that feeling like I’m being watched over my shoulder and wonder if I turn around fast enough will I see Him there – divine hiddenness and all. I’m like a smoker who is sticking things in my mouth because of the habit. I grasp onto mystical straws at times because I don’t want to lose the mysticism that formed my entire life.

So to those of you who think that I’m covering my eyes and ears and eyes and not seeing that I’m railing against the things that I say I don’t believe in. . . I see it. And for those who think that all of this is cerebral – it is. . . and it isn’t.

I had to give the eulogy beside the casket of a student once. Draped in his robotics attire and with students and adults alike – his parents and younger brother and all of my team. I didn’t cry. I gave a speech with all of the gravitas that I could muster. I looked at his parents and stayed strong not because I was hiding my emotions but because I process them differently.

God died. Or – my belief in him did. And I’m still writing his eulogy and doing so in front of a crowd of people of my own making. Because it seems fit that I shouldn’t let this thing that made up so much of my life to go without eulogizing it’s worth and worthlessness.

I don’t know if I’m being authentic in my transition or not. I do know that I’m trying. I apologize for those times that I come across as overly angry or snarky or ridiculous. Maybe that’s just processing. Regardless, I don’t ever want to become the person that spends his time hanging onto old relationships that have died.

I hope this brings a bit of clarity to the reader.

Goodnight.  

[writingwife-83]

The Queen’s Man part 4

I know these updates are all pretty short, but I figure maybe you guys don’t mind so much since I’m throwing them at you in pretty quick succession. Because clearly I can’t stop at the moment and I’m having way too much fun loading on the pining and angst lol. Also, my apologies because although this one has feels aplenty, there’s no direct Sherlolly interaction. I promise some next time! 😘 

Read from the beginning on AO3

Sherlock strolled slowly along the path in the garden, hands clasped tightly behind his back, just close enough to observe but far enough not to disturb the conversation between the Queen and her visitor Lord Thomas.

How he loathed the man.

Not to say there was anything particularly terribly about him. If there was, it would be all too easy. Safety would be a convenient excuse to send the man away. But sadly, there was no such excuse to be found. He was pleasant enough, kind enough, just barely intelligent enough, and even seemed to genuinely care for her.

“Good day,” Sir John greeted, entering through a side path.

Sherlock merely made a small grunt in answer, keeping his eyes fixed ahead and on the Queen.

John looked back and forth between Sherlock and his visual target for a moment before speaking.

“I do beg you to be cautious,” he said, keeping his voice low.

Sherlock whipped his head round to briefly shook him a look. “I am cautious in all things, John, that is hardly necessary advice. Trust me, I am keeping close watch on the man.”

“I mean you!”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. You and the Queen! The bond between you is obvious to anyone with eyes.”

“Pff, I am her protector,” Sherlock scoffed. “That is my job! How do you expect us to act like strangers?”

“Do not play ignorant, you know exactly the sort of bond I speak of.” John halted, grasping Sherlock’s arm to make him do the same and giving him a hard stare. “I say again...be cautious. You risk your well being and hers if you allow feelings to take root and grow. Especially if she is to be promised to another! Think of that- of her- if concern for yourself is not enough to restrain you.”

Sherlock stared silently back at him for a moment before answering, quiet but firm. “Believe me, my friend, you say nothing that I have not already told myself at least a dozen times every single day.”

John regarded him with sadness then, clearly seeing the tragic truth of Sherlock’s words in his eyes. But Sherlock did not give him time for another reply. He quickly turned away again, gave his gloves a tightening tug, and marched on.

“Good day to you, John,” he stated quickly while already walking.

His friend wished him a good day in return, but Sherlock only heard it in passing. He could not stop, could not rest, especially not now. He desperately needed to press on in his duties. At least he could still pour all his strength and focus into his professional service to the Queen, giving her his best in every way in which he was allowed. Staying busy always was the best hope for his peculiar sort of mind.

And in this case, he could only pray that it would also offer some comfort to his aching heart.

[stickystarspectrumtroll-ocs]

Took this quiz for a few of my characters

If you were a character, how would the audience perceive you?

Luna’s result: edgy step on me. it’s You. you’re the edgy character with combat boots that everyone wants to step on them ( depending on what your gender is. ) you probably have a very cool style, and you’re also absolutely gorgeous in a way that average people just ... aren’t. you might be a little bit of an ***hole, but that’s ok. you get a pass because you’re extremely attractive. you radiate some sort of energy that i can’t describe. i’m not sure you’re a real person honestly.

Jewel’s result: ): you deserve better. people literally never shut up about how you deserve better. i mean if you get this i personally also think you deserve better do you want a hug or something?? you’re probably super underrated. the majority probably only tweet about you to say that you need more attention. you genuinely do deserve more attention, too, BUT people overlook you very easily just because they’re ***holes. otherwise, when you’re brought up, they’re just very upset that you’re sad so much.

Allets’s result: the baby. everyone is absolutely soft for you. there’s probably one or two people out there who say you’re overrated, but that’s probably just because they want to act quirky and push another character onto people. there’s probably a **** ton of soft edits of you with that banana clip audio that was really popular last year. someone out there is running a soft stan twt account where they write countless headcanons of you. also there’s probably unfortunately a handful of 12 year olds who call you a soft bean, but you win some you lose some i guess.

Eliote’s result: topic of argument. well. you’re a very complex character and you probably have at least one mental illness ( or trauma ) which may just make you a little mean sometimes; rather it be accidental or not. this means that you have certain fans that absolutely adore you more than anything and constantly talk about how complex you are and you developed you become over the course of your story .... while others, mostly locals, have really no comprehension on your struggles and probably view you surface level which means their opinions aren’t the nicest. don’t worry though, people on stan twt probably argue with them constantly about how complex and realistic your character actually is.

.

How accurate is all this?

Well...I feel like Jewel and Allets results should really be swapped. JEWEL would absolutely be “the baby” to everycreature, she tends to be the most sweet and innocent and naive of the bunch, definitely enough for the fandom to fawn over her for it and take it up to eleven in the fan content. And ALLETS would probably be the one everycreature always says deserves better, her parents’ conditioning has given her some serious issues and there’s angst aplenty.

Luna’s result seems plausible enough. You could say she’s edgy, and I guess I do imagine she’s kind of pretty. And that she definitely has a kind of aura of mystery and mischief about her. I can see people having this kind of reaction to her. But more than that, I feel like she actually fits Eliote’s result. Better than Eliote does. Eliote definitely does have some trauma and is definitely a tsundere because of it. But I don’t feel like people would argue a lot about how complex and realistic she is, and I don’t think any would hate her based on the surface level. I think she might just be another character people would constantly say deserves better.  Luna, though? Luna’s the most morally gray character of the bunch, and I think any morally gray character is bound to be a subject of argument, with a lot of people misinterpreting them and thinking they’re either totally innocent or a complete dirtbag when in reality they’re neither or both or somewhere in between and there’s a bunch of layers and stuff.

[imsfire2]

Some more rebelcaptain fic recs

I did this once before and thought it was about time I did another.  This is just a selection of the top-notch fic this ship has given rise to in the last couple of months.  I’m putting notes and summaries below a read-more as the list on its own turned out quite long.

Hearts of kyber by rcmsw http://archiveofourown.org/works/10552890/chapters/23308910

As the fates unwind by Jaxin http://archiveofourown.org/works/9642863/chapters/21784796

Baby, you need to come home by aewgliriel http://archiveofourown.org/works/10988304/chapters/24471792

Over the edge by jplus http://archiveofourown.org/works/11047776/chapters/24628950

Inevitable by cellorocket http://archiveofourown.org/works/8945566/chapters/21612137

Death in the time of the Empire by Deputychairman http://archiveofourown.org/works/9023386

Die with your darlings by thelovelies http://archiveofourown.org/works/11128509

Been to the mountaintop by biclaras http://archiveofourown.org/works/8892652

To ashes and stardust by wandering_scavenger http://archiveofourown.org/works/8862787

We don’t know everything by Disneybrony http://archiveofourown.org/works/11018907

Happy endings (are just stories that haven’t finished yet) by guineapiggie http://archiveofourown.org/series/650546

A pile of bones by Not_So_Secretly_A_Spaceship and Wolf_Storm http://archiveofourown.org/series/647381

This is a rebellion, isn’t it? By aMassiveDisappointment (BadOldWest) http://archiveofourown.org/works/11041638/chapters/24613062

Back to the night by AlexOblivion http://archiveofourown.org/works/11095485

Kill the lights (and kiss my eyes) by ohstardustgirl http://archiveofourown.org/works/11055027

Truth spoke in whispers (will tear you apart) by guineapiggie http://archiveofourown.org/works/11014866

You can’t hide (your lyin’ eyes) by NewLeeland http://archiveofourown.org/works/11057235

Cassian Andor’s guide to cohabitation by brahe http://archiveofourown.org/series/609082

Priorities by RapidashPatronus http://archiveofourown.org/works/10974750

After by scoundrelhan http://archiveofourown.org/works/9046658

Lullaby by Tigersmeleth http://archiveofourown.org/works/10021151/chapters/22337249

It’s only ever been by NeonDaisies http://archiveofourown.org/works/9637268/chapters/21770894

The art in the lie by Jaded http://archiveofourown.org/works/11143644/chapters/24860889

The remembrance of pain (time will explain) also by Jaded http://archiveofourown.org/works/9984434/chapters/22302065

The soul magicians by porcelainsimplicity http://archiveofourown.org/works/10914591/chapters/24270999

For a good time call by Jormaperalta http://archiveofourown.org/works/10530072/chapters/23247126

Anything can happen by stargirl428 http://archiveofourown.org/works/10572375/chapters/23360664

Killer Queen by ohmytheon http://archiveofourown.org/works/10892349?view_full_work=true

Heaven’s not far away (and I’m not going to leave you here) by Irelando http://archiveofourown.org/works/10859979/chapters/24118608

Rogues of the lost Ark by NewLeeland http://archiveofourown.org/works/10947519/chapters/24362628

Floating, sinking by shuofthewind http://archiveofourown.org/works/9053302/chapters/20596522

Resistance is built on hope by ChronicOlicity http://archiveofourown.org/works/9079141/chapters/20644807

Completed chapter fics, regular Rogue One setting, fix-it theme

Hearts of kyber by rcmsw http://archiveofourown.org/works/10552890/chapters/23308910

Just completed; a post-Scarif they-survive story with a lot of angst on the way but a happy ending at last. The character writing is simply beautiful and there are some really heart-stopping moments of emotion in this excellent mid-length chapter fic.

As the fates unwind by Jaxin http://archiveofourown.org/works/9642863/chapters/21784796

A completed mid-length chapter fic that goes right back to the beginning of the film narrative and posits an interesting (and all-too-rare) what-if; what if Lyra had not died on Lah’mu but survived and joined the partisans with her young daughter?  Lyra is beautifully written, a real lioness of a mother, and the alternative plot is excellent.  

WIP chapter fics, regular Rogue One setting, fix-it theme

Baby, you need to come home by aewgliriel http://archiveofourown.org/works/10988304/chapters/24471792

Exciting and emotional, a post-Scarif they-survive story with Jyn having a daughter after a one-night stand six years earlier with an incognito Cassian.  WIP.

Over the edge by jplus http://archiveofourown.org/works/11047776/chapters/24628950

This is terrific!  Jyn and Cassian survive mysteriously.  The world-building is fantastic and there’s a great alien race with a culture and social rules of their own; bonus points for a wonderful Bodhi characterisation, a cracking opening and a sympathetic treatment of Draven. WIP.

Inevitable by cellorocket http://archiveofourown.org/works/8945566/chapters/21612137

A good solid post-Scarif they-survive fic with one of the best re-writes of the battle to destroy the Death Star I’ve come across, featuring Bodhi piloting an X-wing and a terrific rolling tension maintained right through a long scene.  In fact it’s such a good piece of writing that my link above is to that specific chapter.  It’s absolutely gripping.  WIP.

Now: You want angst?  This ship does angst.  Boy does it do angst.

Death in the time of the Empire by Deputychairman http://archiveofourown.org/works/9023386

One-shot; canon compliant and pretty angsty character study for Cassian; heart-breaking imagined backstory and buckets of feels.

Die with your darlings by thelovelies http://archiveofourown.org/works/11128509

Canon-compliant one-shot, Cassian’s POV, horribly sad.

Been to the mountaintop by biclaras http://archiveofourown.org/works/8892652

Oh shit.  Short and sweet, and heart-breaking.

To ashes and stardust by wandering_scavenger http://archiveofourown.org/works/8862787

Ow ow ow.  Canon-compliant one-shot, Jyn’s POV; realisation coming too late.  A weepy.

We don’t know everything by Disneybrony http://archiveofourown.org/works/11018907

Jyn and Cassian are seriously injured (by the looks of it fatally) and Bodhi tries to help their young son.  A sad, dark, painful read.

Happy endings (are just stories that haven’t finished yet) by guineapiggie http://archiveofourown.org/series/650546

A series of one-shots and a chapter fic; the latter is still a WIP.  A painfully angsty modern dress AU, this deals with addiction among other things and is pretty hard-hitting on that subject, with all the unintentional emotional cruelty and anguished heart-break you’d expect.  I think the chapter fic part is heading towards a moderately happy resolution but wouldn’t like to swear to it. Beautifully written.

A pile of bones by Not_So_Secretly_A_Spaceship and Wolf_Storm http://archiveofourown.org/series/647381

A series of chapter fics and one-shots, some of them pretty hard-hitting (lot of medical detail including operations and PTSD by the bucketload, so NB do not read if you can’t handle descriptions of gore).  Post-Scarif they-survive stories, plus some background stories; drama and tension, great OCs and bonus points for a really likeable characterisation of Draven.  

You want smut?  This ship does smut.  Oh yeah.

This is a rebellion, isn’t it? By aMassiveDisappointment (BadOldWest) http://archiveofourown.org/works/11041638/chapters/24613062

This is a collection of drabbles and one-shots, some in-canon and some AU.  And some of it is very smutty indeed, gloriously, unashamedly so.

Back to the night by AlexOblivion http://archiveofourown.org/works/11095485

Smutty and romantic with plenty of feels as well.  Always a good mixture.

Kill the lights (and kiss my eyes) by ohstardustgirl http://archiveofourown.org/works/11055027

Really gorgeous bit of porn-with-plot and feels galore.

You want more feels?  We got feels, people, we got so many feels; feels and fluff too…

Truth spoke in whispers (will tear you apart) by guineapiggie http://archiveofourown.org/works/11014866

And its companion piece

You can’t hide (your lyin’ eyes) by NewLeeland http://archiveofourown.org/works/11057235

Paired modern-dress one-shots to give you a lump in the throat; bittersweet and emotional, all the feels.

Cassian Andor’s guide to cohabitation by brahe http://archiveofourown.org/series/609082

Two paired one-shots that give us bed-sharing, hurt/comfort, the First Kiss and so much emotion…

Priorities by RapidashPatronus http://archiveofourown.org/works/10974750

Baby fics are not usually my thing - they can so easily be horribly out of character, not to mention hyper-fluffy and unrealistic (given the realities of childbirth and life with babies) but this one is great; messy (there’s vomiting) and credible, and very touching.

After by scoundrelhan http://archiveofourown.org/works/9046658

A fix-it one shot of Jyn trying to come to terms with her feelings about staying in the rebellion, and about Cassian.  Emotionally truthful and true to character.  Quietly implies that both of them have mild PTSD but they are doing their best to deal with it (no graphic descriptions though).  Heartfelt and packed with feels.

Soulmates?  We can do soulmates.

Lullaby by Tigersmeleth http://archiveofourown.org/works/10021151/chapters/22337249

A really haunting soulmates chapter fic where child Jyn and child Cassian meet in their dreams and try to support one another through what are still very difficult childhoods. WIP.

It’s only ever been by NeonDaisies http://archiveofourown.org/works/9637268/chapters/21770894

Another soulmates chapter fic, this one using the trope that you can communicate with your soulmate by writing on your arm.  The world-building is superb in this and it is tremendously angsty; really emotional stuff. WIP.

AUs – yep, we have those aplenty, too.  

I’ve tended to be baffled by a lot of AUs in the past – I just don’t get why you’d want to, a lot of the time.  So often in AU territory what we have is people with the same names as our heroes but wildly OOC; not my cup of tea at all.  But such is the quality of the Rogue One fandom writers that we are getting some absolute crackers.

The art in the lie by Jaded http://archiveofourown.org/works/11143644/chapters/24860889

This is being expanded from a series of headcanon drabbles on tumblr, and it’s looking really good so far. Modern-dress AU in which Jyn and Cassian are film actors obliged to undertake a fake relationship as part of their contract when they get the chance to work with reclusive Kubrick-like director Davits Draven…  Lots of feels and some very nice carrying-over of the characters.  WIP.

By the same author: The remembrance of pain (time will explain) http://archiveofourown.org/works/9984434/chapters/22302065

Something I would not have expected to work, but it does.  And then some.  Rogue One mashed up with Jane Austen.  Persuasion, to be precise. Yes, honestly, take my word for it. Packed with feels.  WIP.  And yes, I know this is the third thing I’ve recommended by this writer; but Jaded is good.

The soul magicians by porcelainsimplicity http://archiveofourown.org/works/10914591/chapters/24270999

A “Cassian is a pop star and Jyn is a girl he falls for” AU set in a universe with a twist; heterosexuality is illegal, and they are straight.  Perhaps rather more tangential to the Star Wars themes than usual but I have to recommend this as it’s such a gorgeous romance, making beautiful use of that classic trope, forbidden love.  WIP.

For a good time call by Jormaperalta http://archiveofourown.org/works/10530072/chapters/23247126

The modern-dress AU I would never have expected to like.  Seriously, I’ve never bothered to read anything tagged “college AU” and I would have said “and I never will” until I started reading this one rainy Sunday. Like “The soul magicians” the plot is completely tangential to the Star Wars plotlines; but it’s sweet, romantic and very, very funny, and has a delightful human K-2SO.  Like a perfect Saturday night sappy rom-com.  WIP (but I think the author is getting near to the end).

Anything can happen by stargirl428 http://archiveofourown.org/works/10572375/chapters/23360664

Another modern-dress rom-com AU I would not have expected to like but am thoroughly enjoying; holiday house-swap with a bit of coffee shop thrown in.  Utterly sweet and fluffy.  But be warned, Jyn’s ex is Krennic in this, which is a bit yucky.  WIP.

Killer Queen by ohmytheon http://archiveofourown.org/works/10892349?view_full_work=true

Another modern-dress AU that has grabbed me unexpectedly; believe it or not, this one is Rogue One plus Miss Congeniality.  It’s sweet and very funny.  WIP

Heaven’s not far away (and I’m not going to leave you here) by Irelando http://archiveofourown.org/works/10859979/chapters/24118608

Another cross-over AU that works quite brilliantly.  Rogue One/Pacific Rim mash-up.  Jyn is the Raleigh Beckett character, Cassian is Mako Mori, Draven is Pentecost.  The POV starts off with Jyn and is about to move to Cassian; both their voices are tremendously well captured.  Irelando writes very economically and has a knack for the single perfect word to convey a ton of feeling by the most minimal of means. WIP.  (I must confess to a bias here as I have the privilege of beta-ing this lovely piece of work).  

Rogues of the lost Ark by NewLeeland http://archiveofourown.org/works/10947519/chapters/24362628

This is looking really good so far!  As you can probably guess from the title, it’s a Rogue One/Raiders of the Lost Ark mash-up. The fusion works really well, Cassian makes an excellent Indiana Jones and the whole thing is set fair to be thoroughly exciting.  WIP.

And finally, repeat recommendations for two of the best bits of fanfic I’ve ever read:

Floating, sinking by shuofthewind http://archiveofourown.org/works/9053302/chapters/20596522

Cracking good, v long chapter fic that takes our Rogue One team on into the events of A New Hope. Complex skilful plotting and high drama, and lots of gut-wrenching emotions.  WIP (but very nearly finished by the looks of it).

And

Resistance is built on hope by chronicolicity http://archiveofourown.org/works/9079141/chapters/20644807

Best WW2 AU ever and possibly the best human Kay as well.  Brilliantly characterised with a beautiful period setting; completely gripping and moving. WIP.

[secretcodelyokan]

Another tag Meme! Yay!

Tagged by @roch6103

A- Age - 1*bzzz bzzz*4

B- Biggest Fear - Eh...the Dark. And dying.

C- Current Time - 16:49

D- Last Drink You Had - Water. Still tap water to be exact.

E- Every Day Starts with - School Day: Me waking up at past 6 am and dragging my sorry self to the living room to eat. Weekend: It’s 12 AM and I’m trying to go to sleep/write this thing/finish this drawing.

F- Favorite Song - Oh crap...eehhh...right now, Echo by Jason Walker.

G- Ghosts, Are They Real? - I guess? Who can tell, really?

H- Hometown - The not-so lovely Italy

I- In Love With - ...Are we seriously going there? *pulls out the Fictional Crushes list* There, take it.

J- Jealous Of - I hate to say it, but...pretty much what Roch said: some artists which are really really good and I just stare at them, sometimes clutching my heart, like “Excuse me!”. But other than that? Hmmm...I’m pretty jealous of a couple of fictional characters, if not all I know...

K- Killed Someone - ...fanfics and ocs don’t count...riiiiight? Pfft, it’s not like I have a criminal record for multiple fictional character and oc murder or anything, hahaha...Do games count? Other than that, I killed mosquitoes aplenty, but not an actual human being...yet.

L- Last Time I Cried - Lemme think...Oh shoot, this morning I shed some tears...ye.

M- Middle Name - Ha! I have none!

N- Number of Siblings - Siblings? What are those?

O- One Wish - FREE ME FROM SCHOOOOOOOOOOOL

P- Person You Called or Texted - Uh, well...last person I called was my mum, just after I left swimming; last person I texted was a friend of mine whom I had just spilled most of my lovely angst AU ideas.

Q- Questions You’ve Always Asked - HOW IS GZTALE SO FCKING SAD AND WHY DID I LAUGH THAT TIME I WAS WRITIN CHAOTIC SCREAMS *insert the usual “What are we? Who would I be if I wasn’t me? Etc.” questions*

R- Reason to Smile - People who love and care about me, unaware of my past “sins” Alphys much? XD

S- Song Last Sang - oh, it was just a few mins ago. I was singing the “Servant Of Evil” Parody, “Brother Of Evil”. I’m planning to cover it with my crappy equipment.

T- Time you woke up - 7:15 am, approx.

U- Underwear Color - Yeeaaaah, lol, not telling you that.

V- Vacation Destination - We still don’t know yet.

W- Worst Habit - I...I pick on my nose; as in, not picking it, just...torturing my poor nose...(not in a self-harm way, don’t worry)

X- X-rays Taken - Eh, I think two or three, for my teeth...

Y- Your Favorite Football Teams - What is this Football thing that you speak of?

Z- Zodiac Sign - The great Taurus

Tagging: hmmm... @universehopperforlyfe @cezlovesart (if you haven’t already done it, that is XD) @everyone who wants to do it

[theao3feed-bughead]

in the end (running out of time)

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2xZrm0j

by PrincessAuroraSnow

Riverdale, a small town that seems like every other small town, quiet, normal. Truthfully, Riverdale has some strange happenings. It was built on magical land, land that was endowed with six powers.

Light, Dark, Water, Fire, Ice, Nature.

Words: 1424, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Riverdale (TV 2017)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M

Characters: Betty Cooper, Jughead Jones, Archie Andrews, Veronica Lodge, Cheryl Blossom, Toni Topaz, Kevin Keller, Fangs Fogarty, Sweet Pea, Alice Cooper, Hal Cooper, Hiram Lodge, Hermione Lodge, Fred Andrews, Malachai, FP Jones, Jellybean Jones, Gladys Jones, Clifford Blossom, Penelope Blossom, Jason Blossom, Moose Mason, Reggie Mantle, Josie McCoy, Valerie Brown, Melody Valentine, Trev Brown

Relationships: Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones, Archie Andrews/Veronica Lodge, Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz, Fangs Fogarty/Kevin Keller

Additional Tags: tw: parental abuse, Angst Aplenty, too much angst, a lot of people die, no one main but a lot of people, I took canon out back and shot it, everyone I didn't want in the story got killed by Hal, Hal Cooper is garbage, classic enemies-to-friends-to-lovers between Bughead, the Blossom parents should just fall off a cliff honestly, Gladys was a good mother, FP doesn't drink, basically I destroyed canon, maybe some OOC moments, the Serpents are respected, a lot of death grief and sadness, A lot of comfort, y'all I got some soft Bughead moments too just wait, all the other relationships are background but still sweet, no Falice, everyone bonds over their loss, some sort of showdown somewhere, the Serpent tattoos are special, TW: suicidal thoughts, TW: Self Harm, probably

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2xZrm0j