#This mirrors Johan and Anna

[theartifxce]

Through the Eyes of a Stranger

FROM THE JUICY ANON RP PROMPT HERE: (sorry this took so long) 

The Copycat Killer

-

There was a man in the mirror - but the reflection wasn’t his; down to the hair that fell over the scar on his right temple. The pale layered blonde strands, the perfect bridge of his nose, the v-shaped structure of his face along with his sharp jawline – none of it was truly his.  

Like clockwork, he got up every morning and greeted this stranger trapped in the glass with a grimace, burning his eyes upon the reflection that was his – but wasn’t really his.

His expression was always detached and mechanical as he stared into the eyes of a stranger. A rising hostility crawled along his skin at the sight of this invader.

His name was Elias Reinhardt.

He hated him.

But he could never destroy him.

Because he was him.

But he also wasn’t really him either.

While ignoring this broad shoulders and prominent muscular form – he saw the man in the marble he was meant to become. It had been etched upon his soul for as long as he could remember, drilled into him through every burn, bruise and drop of blood.

Carving up and mutilating his body wasn’t enough.

There were minor imperfections he corrected through mediocre means; like speech therapy and language studies and philosophy.

He had to play the part, perfect his craft for when the curtains fell.

Not only for his creator – but for the world.

‘He is me and I am him.” Elias reassured, drilling and reminding the ghosts of doubt that haunted at the back of his head.

Through the cracks in the mirror, he carefully put in his bright blue eye contacts, blinking out the tears before he gleefully witnessed the parts of himself he hated were concealed with little effort. Swiftly, he lifted his eyeliner to the outer corners of his upper lash-line and gently swiped its black ink with feather strokes in order to keep the look as natural as possible.

 He took his ring finger and lightly dabbed at the darker earthly eye shadow tones and applied the shading just at the inner corner of his eyelid and outer corner of his lash line to give his eyes the appearance of depth. Finally, he dabbed some concealer to hide the beauty mark from beneath his right eye and set it with powder.

Once again he looked in the mirror and was washed with a wave of relief – it was funny how a little bit of make-up could really bring out one’s true features. He curled his lashes and applied very light mascara to bring out his boyish charm. It was only then, did he have the courage to gaze down at the photo tucked in-between the wooden frame of the mirror.

Johan Liebert.

This was the only photo he had of his graven image; the beautiful devilish angel he was meant to become from the moment he was born. Elias held it up alongside the reflection of himself, comparing every aspect of Johan’s features to his own and was soothed by the realization that he could actually pass as his twin brother. 

 But there was still a gaping hole inside of him.

He could look like the man himself – but what of his thoughts that plagued him during the night?

What song of lamentations cantillated within his heart?

It wasn’t enough to merely look the part – he had to become down to the fibers of his being.

His father’s words haunted him in the back of his mind, the constant teaching and lashings that had been scarred upon his mind and skin were now whispers that simply wouldn’t leave. He dropped the photo in a rush to place his hands over his ears, desperate to drown out his father’s unhallowed voice.

“IT’S ALL WRONG. HE SMILED – HE SMILED AND YOU’RE CRYING?!”

A child forced to kill in order to give birth to a Monster he never wanted to greet. The image gnawed at the back of his mind – the beating he had received for crying over the deaths of his friends; the heart he was forced to throw away.

 “AH!!!!!!!!” He screamed in agony as he brought his fists against the mirror, shattering the image of that stranger along with it. He panted heavily, blood and shards of glass coating his pale skin. He looked up and saw only the broken appearance through the remnants of the mirror – and it was insane how at this small angle, he truly thought he looked like him.

But it wasn’t enough.

Of course, it wasn’t enough.

Because the cruel divine angel that spawned from the Red Rose actually had someone he held dear. The media soon learned that the Monster known as “J” had a twin sister. It took some coaxing through means of torture and blackmail; but Elias learned all about her; the one Johan Liebert was lost without. 

The blind old veteran was quite the chatterbox. According to the old man, ‘the one who the little boy loved more than all – was his sister.’  It didn’t take much to bash his head in with his own kettle to cover up his trail. But the information he gave is what spawned his new obsession – Anna Liebert, or better known as, Nina Fortner.

Without his other half – he would never be complete.

That’s why he never felt comfortable in his own skin.

But there was one thing that simply did not sit right with him upon making this new discovery.

Johan Liebert was a formidable darkness in the underworld; the mere mentioning of his name would shake the most despicable criminals down to the bone. The demon with the boyish charm haunted in shadows in corners of the room he never stepped foot in.

How could such a Monster be capable of something as unreasonable as love?

She was described by others as the apple of Johan’s eye - but for what reason?

What hold did she have over him?

Elias’ father was never made aware of the existence of Johan’s younger twin sister. Johan, even at a young age, was always ten steps ahead of the world. He concealed the identity of his sister because of what she meant to him.

 But what was she to him exactly? 

Did he value her solely because she was the proof of his existence? 

Was she just the extension of his identity?

The Nameless Monster of the West?

Was that the extent of his so-called ‘love?’

Could there be any other reason?

Elias could never truly understand Johan and become him down to the fibers of his being without understanding the core of all of his evil schemes that upon closer inspection, seemed to center around his sister. But Elias needed more information to draw his conclusions; details that would never be made public due to the government’s gag order on the infamous case of “J”. 

The only one who knew Johan better than anyone - was Nina Fortner.

And so he danced along the cobblestone streets, admiring her from afar at first; the way her sun kissed hair danced along the gentle winds; her lustrous pink lips, the tenderness warmth of her voice whenever she spoke, down to the sky blues that was of her eyes – she was like an angel.

Her mere existence and presence felt magnetic, the radiance surrounding her pulling him in with the desire to get closer. He felt almost desperate to get noticed by her – to feel her soft eyes resting on him and only him. But there was another part of him that left trails of goosebumps upon his skin at the thought of what her screams sounded like. Imagining that gentle face twisting into that of bloodlust solely for him filled him with the same level of excitement.

Was it the Johan inside that stirred these emotions?

Or was it…him?

He acted as phantom, purposely meeting her eyes from a distance only to disappear before she’d approach him. Each time he did this, he placed himself closer and closer to her.  The temptation was like a drug – what started out as a hard coded plan was now more like a game he enjoyed playing. He found the patterns to her habits; her coffee was 3 sugars and equal parts milk, a morning jog and how she worked herself to sleep over her desk late at night.

He had broken into her home many times before; never leaving a trace of his presence as he observed the little things that left the imprint of herself upon her home. She had plenty of photos with her friends, her late mother and father – but none of Johan. He laid in her bed and took in her scent, resting his head on her pillow only to open his eyes and imagine drowning in her deep blues as she laid next to him.

He caught himself half into the idea and sat up, coughing up the choke that welled in his throat from the emotions that creeped in. He tugged at the soft fabric of his black turtle neck as if it was responsible for his inability to breathe normally.

Finding out the existence of Johan’s one and only weakness did not bring him the solace he thought he would have. Instead, he felt even more lost and confused. Being her shadow was not enough. He wanted to understand in its rawest form, why a man of the underworld was chained down by such a dainty and impractical woman like her.

If he found out its truth, would it set him free?

He dressed in Johan’s attire, down to the length of his dark brown coat and waited for her arrival. The door opened and shut and he felt a tinge of excitement crawl up his skin as he stood, composed with his back to her as he peered out the window with his arms wrapped behind his back.

“Hello Nina.” He spoke her name with a refined soft tongue.

“It’s been a long time.” The words fell from his pale red lips like a caress before he turned, the shadows hugging his form in order to perfectly conceal his act. He witnessed from her expression how she was shocked to see not Elias but the ghost of Johan Liebert.

@xxxangeleyesxxx​

[deiscension]

﹄ ◇ ; @dernarrleid / left a prayer — white oleander, pt. 2.

sometimes attention hurts more than it helps. (johan)

       ⌜◈⌟    ▌ ── 𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐦, tottering in too-tall heels and focusing on not dropping the uncapped bottle of water trying its utmost to slip through her fingers. Her motivations are laughably simple: everyone was inside partying 'til they dropped, he was outside instead, and that seemed awful lonely. So with water in hand just in case he wasn't feeling well, she had slipped from the din of music and out the quiet street.

    𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫. Is he someone's friend from college or work? Childhood friend? Boyfriend? Ex? Agent? Each role feels less likely than the next. With a shrug meant more to keep her coat on than to dismiss the thought, she decides it's better to find out organically.

   𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝. Likely she's introduced herself ('Shi Qingxuan, although most people here know me by my online alias!'), promised she wasn't drunk ('Just tipsy! It takes way more than what I've had for me to get plastered.' Not drunk, just bubbly and loose and weightless, the way she wants to be now and forever), asked if he needs water or a smoke or both. If she's given him any time to answer, it's all melted into the comfortable if not disorienting warmth of insobriety pumping through her veins.

    𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭, and she slips off the tightrope separating from reality. Not even all the alcohol in the world could buoy her back up to cloud nine.

    𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞. Recollection dampened by the across her brain and eroding childhood memories, she can't quite grasp what the circumstances calling for such an ill portent had been, nor if it had been delivered to her or the parents who had failed to heed it. Maybe she's making it up. Confabulation. That's what the trauma therapist at the hospital had called it when she had insisted something (something, not someone) had caused the accident and left her alive on purpose, that it had been following her since before she could even walk, just ask my brother, he'll tell you. Funny how she's able to remember something she'd been told at fourteen while high off a cocktail of painkillers and fear and not why such a simple statement makes her feel the need to run away.

     𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧. This is now. The two events are unrelated, and he probably just wants her out of his space without having to be too mean.

    "𝐖𝐨𝐰, 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐭𝐨𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐛𝐮𝐳𝐳𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥!" she laughs, the sound as ebullient as a springtime breeze. "You can be more forward if you want me to scram. I've got thick skin." That, and she finds she's not ready to leave his company just yet. She can't put her finger on why. A silly whim, more likely than not. But if there's one thing it is, it's stubborn. So with a sigh, she makes herself comfortable on the curbside while adding, "I'm not saying you're wrong; I just think it's way too pessimisstic." She pauses to waterfall some of the now-lukewarm water into her dry mouth, then holds it up. "Want some? It's the good stuff."

[arendelle-archives]

Who's in the portrait from Frozen - The Broadway musical?

A quick recap: in the original Broadway production of Frozen, during "For the first time in forever", Anna is seen next to the portrait of some unknown gentleman. Who is he?

I initially thought (incorrectly) this was a portrait of a young King Karl XIV Johan who was the king of Sweden and Norway (where he was known as Karl III Johan) during the years 1818-1844, i.e. during the time Frozen takes place!

Portrait of crown prince Karl Johan by François Gérard 1811 (cropped).

It could have been a cool easter egg to have him appear in the musical but unfortunately (for me) it was not the case!

My friend @bigfrozenfan suggested (correctly) that the uniform of the man in the Frozen portrait was borrowed from a painting of the Russian prince and military commander Pyotr Mikhailovich Volkonsky (1776-1852):

Portrait by English artist George Dawe circa 1823.

Unfortunately, this only gave us half the Broadway painting. We still needed the guy's face. Browsing image results on google, this painting of Russian politician and military commander Pavel Alexandrovich Stroganov (1774-1817) popped up, and it was a perfect match!

Portrait by George Dawe from some time before 1825.

Once we mirrored the picture...

Broadway on the left and original to the right.

Now, why Pavel decided to borrow his countryman Pyotr's uniform in the Frozenverse we can only speculate. What we do know is that they were both long dead when Frozen takes place.

Why were these portraits chosen by the set designers? Why not just use one portrait and call it a day? Why mane an edit? Probably just for fun. Maybe to confuse see if someone would figure out what it was based off of! 😄

It should also be mentioned that something strange is going on with the left epaulette. Compared to the original (right below), some elements of it has been copied and pasted in the Broadway version (left below). I have no idea why. maybe to save space in the picture. Other than that, the uniform appears to be completely unaltered.

I hope you learned something! 😁

Summary:

[princessgarnetxvi]

II. Johan always knew that Anna was the one who went to the Red Rose Mansion.

I’d like to thank those who left comments and showed support on my first post. Consider this essay a part two of the original concept: Everything Johan did was for Anna.  I want to explore another notion I briefly touched upon in my first post that was requested by some and also presented to me by my own twin brother. 

The theory we are going to explore is: Was Johan aware from the beginning that Anna was the one who went to the Red Rose Mansion?

Yes.

And that brings us to another facet on what Johan’s intentions were – and that was to make sure Nina/Anna never remembered what happened to her. In reference to the Nameless Monster book, Johan consumed the other Nameless Monster who went West and was the only one left standing with no one left to call him by his name. This mirrors Johan/Anna because he left Anna with the Fortner’s under a completely different identity - a real name with real attachments as Nina Fortner knowing she would forget him. He was the ONLY one who knew his sister for who she truly was

This was his act of love

His goal was to make the world believe he was “The Chosen One” to not only lead their plans astray but to ensure that Anna would not be targeted by “The Monster.” He wanted to erase all traces of the experiment, of the horrific experiences she endured and of those who remembered them as a pair – and this also included himself.

This theory is heavily reinforced in Another Monster in this passage.

(This passage from Another Monster reinforces Johan's intention behind trying to make Nina forget her past as Anna - an act of love. Naoki made it a point to tell us "this is just like Johan.")

We will break this discussion into parts since it will be a lot of information to dissect:

I.  Peter Capek and Johan’s discussion

The one question I ALWAYS asked was why Johan left Peter Capek for Anna/Nina to kill? If we run with the consensus that Johan took on Anna’s memories of the Red Rose mansion experiment out of guilt or because of Kinderheim, why would he leave it up to Anna/Nina to kill Capek?

 Why would she feel the need to kill him?

It didn’t make any sense to me. So I revisited the episode again and it dawned on me - the meaning behind Johan’s words

“What am I? The monster inside of me isn’t inside of me, it was outside.”

He was revealing to Capek right there that he was not the “experimental monster” when asked why Johan was suddenly going against “THEIR PLANS.” Because Johan had corrupted their initial plan from the very start when he masqueraded as “The Chosen One.”  that the eugenics/red rose mansion experiments created.  (Which in its own right is deviously genius.)

it seems farfetched right?

So then, why was Capek in the next scene questioning whether he took the brother or the sister?

What made Capek question himself on something he did over 10 years prior if Johan wasn’t the one who forced him wonder?

The last person he spoke to was Johan.  And if Johan induced this thought process, then that simply means that Johan knew from the start that he was not the one who was kidnapped and brought to the Red Rose Mansion.

To put it simply, if Johan was certain that HE was taken instead of Anna, their conversation would NOT have lead Capek to wonder if he took Johan or Anna. Johan would have killed him instead.

And then Capek CONCLUDED RIGHT HERE:

Johan tells Capek where to bring Anna and this is where Johan, for the first and only time, attempts to manipulate Anna/Nina and the fragments of her memories to complete his plan on ensuring Anna did not remember what happened to her at the mansion. He tells the story as his own, using specific words on purpose: “It’s MINE to tell. My own experiences of what I endured and told YOU about.” 

Why else would he bring up this incident? It seemed so random to me at first that he started telling her his experiences about the Red Rose Mansion when they had PLENTY of other things to discuss. But he set up his plan from the moment he opened his mouth by bringing up how she welcomed him home after he returned from the Red Rose Mansion, as if that had been the ONE and only time she ever said those words to him despite living together after being adopted. He controlled the room as he had a goal he needed to achieve. 

Out of all the times Johan successfully manipulated everyone he’s met, this was the only time he did it without any malicious intent and it is also the only time he fails.

Following his extensive plan, Johan makes sure Tenma knows where to go in the event that Nina has a mental breakdown. It’s safe to assume that if Johan succeeded in concealing the truth from his sister, he was prepared to die by the hands of Nina or Tenma as well.

But that doesn’t happen. Johan’s plan fails and it’s almost as if, everything he tried to achieve was for nothing.

“He was smiling but it looked as though, he was crying too.”

I always wondered why Johan’s expressions were so different compared to all the other scenes we’ve seen him. As always, in front of Anna/Nina – Johan appeared the most human.

With his failure, all that was left to do is kill the Monster responsible for it all – and them finally, himself.

II.  The Tape Recording:

When Johan found the tape recording of his "interview" during his time at Kinderheim 511, he tells the interviewer that he was reading a picture book while waiting for Anna to come home. Johan remembered who gave him that book the moment he read it at the library and collapsed - it is what triggered the memory into finally recalling who exactly the Monster was by name and face; not just voice. If Johan truly did mixed up his memories about who went to the Red Rose, then hearing that part of the recording would have revealed to him that he was the one who welcomed Anna home, not the other way around. But this revelation doesn't hit him, because he always knew who went and who stayed at the 3 Frogs.

III.    Explaining all of Johan’s other actions.

How does the rest of Johan’s actions play a part in this grand scheme?

1.   Johan will wipe his existence, taking with him the dirty lie that he was the “Monster in the making” to lead the country:  So he kills all of his foster parents. He tells Tenma from the start: “You must never know about the twins (he doesn’t say HIM but the twins) or the murdered couples” and this says a lot. He wants to make sure there isn’t a trace of a twin to the monster he masqueraded himself to be. No ties that Anna was a sibling to him. I wouldn’t be surprised if Johan gave the Fortners the idea to rename her. After all, when they were adopted by the Lieberts they retained both of their “original names” but when the Fortners took Anna in, they changed her name entirely and then Johan left.

2.   Killing The Fortners: The author purposely shows her parents outside, talking aloud that they will tell Nina the truth – that she was adopted. Which would eventually lead Nina to question her true identity and I am sure they were aware of some parts of her origins. Anna appeared on tv with the Lieberts and their murder was a big fiasco all over the paper. (The drs also took, or tried to take a photo of the twins to put in the paper/media so I am certain they covered the twin’s story on the news after the incident.)  Johan couldn’t have that because their truth would have ignited an uncontrollable flame in Nina into finding out her past. But then the author shows the pair deciding against it in the comfort of their own home. But it was too late. They had to die. I always questioned this because why would Johan leave Nina for 10 years to heal only to throw her back into the same hell?

3.  Johan having Nina meet him at the castle: Since there were already a handful of people aware of how important Anna was to Johan, he simply wanted to take her and put her somewhere safe from those who would pursue her. The other points in this list will help reinforce who these people are. But throughout the show, Nina is constantly pursued and even held captive, despite her going to the Mansion on her own volition. The Baby revealed to Tenma that after they had no use for her they were going to dispose of her or worse. Which is why Johan takes the bait and meets with Geidlitz FINALLY, only to eliminate them all.

4.    Opening the black markets and underground banks: Money is power. Money leads you to people in power. Johan not only needed money for his plans but he also needed to draw out the dirty, corrupted party he was after. Capek and the Baby discuss Johan’s methods in cleaning up loose ends concerning the banks so it’s evident that they operated with Johan. Now Johan was conspiring with those who lead the experiments at the Red Rose Mansion, somehow making them believe he was the one created for their “master plan.” The seed had been planted.

5.    General Wulf: he was truly the catalyst to it all. Johan, instead of killing him; destroyed his credibility by taking out everyone who knew him. A man is only worth as much as his word. With everyone around Wulf who respected him and knew him dead Wulf will eventually become more of a myth than a person who actually exists. Did Johan perhaps “spare” him because he saved him and Anna’s life? Ultimately, it was General Wulf who told the others like Professor Geidlitz just how important Anna was to Johan. I don’t see how else Geidlitz, the Baby etc. got this information. Johan isn’t the type to divulge anything about himself to anyone. So, who else would have relayed this information to HIS party if not for the man who found them both on the border? I just think Wulf in general would hold a lot of merit towards Johan’s existence so he had to kill all those who knew him, so that his words became less and less of the truth.

6.  Attempting to kill Shuwald: This boils down to destroying the economy that created the Red Rose. Shuwald was the backbone of the country’s economy/power. Killing him would have plunged the country into a weakened state and ignited war. But if war was something Johan wanted to achieve, then he could have easily worked with the Right winged secret police who sought for this in the first place – and would have helped him achieve this. With Shuwald being the center of the country’s economy, then it would make sense that some of his financial activities would include funding most if not all of the country’s experiments/government operated orphanages. The Red Rose mansion experiments were continuing. Killing Shuwald would plunge his enemies and their plans into the ground. The library incident was him initially attempting to claim Germany’s economy to restructure the country to be a place safe for Anna, as potentially waging war would destroy the plan set up for Anna/Nina when she was dragged to the mansion. Meaning, if Johan took the spot as the backbone of the country, he would have completed his façade of being “the chosen one” by those who conducted the experiments, there would have no longer been a need to pursue her or the truth should it came to light. (Was he going to let Christoff take his place after he died?) But after remembering Bonaparte, he sets out to kill him instead. I also believe he spared Shuwald after hearing Carl's story but that would have to be explored in another essay.

Johan erased everyone who was aware of the twins; those who knew Anna existed. If his goal was to become a ghost, why was Hartmann left alive – a man who was rather OBSESSED with Johan?

Before arriving in Kinderheim 511, the only one who knew about the twins was General Wulf. Hartmann never mentions her and neither does Christoff. I believe Johan kept his sister a secret up until the tape recording.

I found it contradicting that Johan never bothered to kill Hartmann. He very clearly deserved to get put down after all the horrible things he did. But, Johan was not out for revenge. None of this was for him but for Anna. After all, Hartmann never once acknowledged that Johan had a sister. The tape recording was done and left in the hands of the first head administrator. And what does Johan do? Johan goes all the way to Czech and kills him because not only did he know Johan’s one weakness, but he knew about Anna’s existence.

Johan then proceeds to, for some reason, kill everyone who is trying to get the tape. Why? If they knew what was the most important to him, then it would be used against him. Johan records over the rest of the tape that perhaps showed him admitting his guilt over Anna going to the Red Rose Mansion. The start of the tape has him saying “Everyone died there.” And Johan probably told the interviewer where she was taken from. Johan finally figured out “where he needed to go.” And then he burns down the Red Rose Mansion before Anna could piece anything together.

Which brings me to my next point.

I believe after reading the Nameless Monster, a book Boneparte gave to him the day he kidnapped his mother and sister, Johan remembered the identity of “The Monster.” and his plans shifted. Yes, he killed the Lieberts because of the monster. But Johan did not SEE Boneparte that night, he only heard him. And the sound of a voice from someone you fear is more than enough to trigger a fight or flight response. Johan knew he was the monster by his voice not his face and reacted.  When he panicked and cried at the library, it was because he recalled his most painful memory, which we are shown in the final moments of the last episode. It was not Johan being dragged, but Anna being thrown away. I believe remembering that his mother was the one who made a choice AND HESITATED as well as the “Monster’s “ identity is what swayed the path of his plans.

I say this because we don’t truly know what memories were stripped from Johan after Kinderheim 511 and being shot in the head. Despite Kinderheim, Johan still retained the memories of his sister. Quite an admirable feat. We’re only assuming that Johan mixed up Anna’s story about who went to the Red Rose Mansion because Anna thinks she was responsible for making Johan who he was. Other than that, there is nothing else that points us to this concept.

( In some aspect, what she says is true*. Johan took on the role of the Monster to save her from becoming what she was tortured into being. )*

Reflecting on these points, I’d like to conclude that Johan sacrificed himself and chose Anna/Nina every single time. Every choice he made was calculated for Anna’s safety; down to killing that old couple out on the field. “I have plan.” He wanted to start over in a new country where no one would know of them. He had to kill the old couple before leaving for the border so that there wasn’t a trail for the monster; no one to tell authorities they saw a pair of beautiful blonde twins. Yet much to Johan’s shock/fear – Boneparte finds them at the Lieberts and that was the ONLY time he acted irrationality out of his own apprehension.

Was this martyrdom mentality spawned from his mother choice to throw Anna away? To the point where not even his own existence mattered? He took on the role of being her shadow, the monster in her reflection instead of allowing Anna to see herself as the beast in the mirror.

Nothing he did was ever within his own personal vendetta. 

Looking at Johan from this perspective still retains the absolute horror of his actions, but also implements a tragedy that he was self sacrificing. A quote struck me after thinking it over in this light:

"A hero would sacrifice you to save the world but a villain would sacrifice the world to save you "

[suusoh]

Im so conflicted!!! Anna’s such a delicious concept but i’m so salty about Nina being insufficiently explored in monster and i feel guilty for enjoying Anna so much. I mean by all means Nina should’ve had plenty of her own batshit moments given her trauma and the fact that she doesn’t is a disservice to her and to us all. Ughhhhhhhhhhh

Look I love monster and naoki urusawa's writing. But if there's one thing. ONE thing I could criticize about it. It would be not expounding on Nina more. Like she honestly should have been the main character in my eyes. There were some characters who I've thought shouldn't have had screen time and it should have went to Nina instead. Like that's literally????? the other twin??????? like you're gonna drop a mirror analogy, make a theme about the effects of nature vs nurture, and then not- i don't know, SHOW MORE OF IT? OF NINA? If Johan shows the possibility of what could have happened to anna given certain circumstances, THEN NINA IS ALSO THE POSSIBILITY OF WHAT JOHAN COULD HAVE BEEN TOO. LIKE WHY DID THEY NOT PUT ATTENTION TO THAT.

Like it's fine if they don't want to make her main character, but it's a sin they didn't give her much... dare I say, depth. I feel like the fandom gives way more depth to nina than the actual source material. I know what they were trying to accomplish in that Czechoslovakia arc, but I still can't help but feel how repetitive their treatment with Nina was in making her just moan in pain and anguish over and over again. She really shined so much in that turkish district arc, that one episode dedicated to just her, and rurenheim.

I love dr tenma but I really do think that some moments of his could have easily just been given to Nina instead. And I do think some characters screen time could have easily been replaced with Nina time instead.

And to think the only glimpse we have of the monster "anna liebert" is just that one therapy session ARHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Like it may not be a fair comparison, but sometimes I can't help but think of Vash the stampede from trigun. Vash and Nai. Like that's what could have been for Nina!!!

Her character was so under utilized that I just wanna slump into my bed and weep.

[vuldarian]

anna & johan liebert… james jr & barbara gordon.

the war of vaslav nijinsky, frank bidart / batman: the black mirror / naoki ursawa’s monster / after abel, dante emile / batgirl issue #49 / famous blue raincoat, leonard cohen / a brother named gethsemane, natalie diaz

[leovoid]

More I think about it, there isn't proof that Kinderheim messed Johan up. Right? Despite his fears on the tape, he never forgets Anna or the they being pursued. He never forgot the moms Betrayal (acorn game) so like why did we all think that Johan was destroyed by Kinderheim when all else proved he rose above it like an untouchable devil? Hmmm

Honestly, I think its people jumping to conclusions and the narratives execution wrapped around subtlety. Alot of what happens in Kinderheim is within smoke and mirrors, so we can only assume what has transpired and how it affected Johan, but I believe that Johan was not affected personally, he rose to the top and became its master. Most people watch it once and give out their thoughts, so its understandable that there would be inconsistencies within those thoughts. Perhaps that sounded pretentious haha I guess what I am trying to say, is that a lot of people tend to express their opinion after watching something once, and thats fair, not everyone will want to watch a series more than once unless they really like it But for a series like Monster, it HAS to be watched twice to pick up on little things that one may have missed.

[asfixiafloral]

So let's say you DO get a boyfriend?

You're a freshman in high school. How would Johan take the news?

A drabble perhaps?

(🦋WINDSWEPT AU with @theartifxce/ HIGHSCHOOL 🦋)

Johan gently knocks on her door to announce his presence, "Come in..." Anna is too busy to look up from the mirror, she doesn't want to make a mistake while applying her eyeliner, once she's done she turns her head and smiles at him "How do I look? Do you think it's too much?" Johan steps inside her bedroom and locks the door behind him, he approaches her to take a good look at her face and feels his heart do a little jump, "You look beautiful..." He glances at her desk, there's make up products scattered all around, she usually doesn't wear any of it, but seeing her right now, getting ready for a date makes the pain in his chest grow.

"Thank you..." She looks away to stare at herself in the mirror, she can't handle the sad look Johan is giving her right now, and she won't question him either, it hurts just as much to think about it. She starts to put everything away inside her drawer and grab her brush to figure out what she's going to do with her hair. Johan walks away from beside her to sit in her bed, next to the knee length dress she's planning on wearing "Are you... really going?" There it is, she really didn't want to deal with this.

"Yes, of course I am... I can't just bail out on him... he's so nice to me, it would be rude of me to-" She quickly gets interrupted though, this one is harder to answer, "Do you want to go? Be with him?" Anna takes a deep breath as she brushes her bangs, "I am going" It's all she can say. She likes the guy, but she finds it hard to find a romantic connection with him. It's possible though, if she tries hard enough.

"Anna, you don't like him" This gets her to put her brush down and spin around in her chair to face him, "If I didn't like him, I would've rejected his confession Johan, I wouldn't be wasting my time getting ready if I-"

"But you don't, Anna" Johan says calmly, but she can tell he's slowly losing his temper "You're forcing yourself into something you do not want... why?" He stands now, walking a few steps until he's towering over her "I thought you weren't interested in dating, or going out with anybody... you told me that night we-"

"Johan" It's her turn to rudely interrupt him, she stands too, and even then he's still taller than her "What do you want from me?"

Johan freezes at the question, he hesitates and remains silent for a few moments before finally opening his mouth, "Don't go" He's not ready to tell her the whole truth right now, but he'll at least try to be honest right now "Let me take you out, your time getting ready won't be wasted then," It's hard for him to say the next few words, he hates how he struggles to speak his true feelings in front of the only person he cares about in this world "I can't stand the thought of... someone else taking you out"

"That's selfish of you" Anna frowns, but the she can't hide the heat on her cheeks, "But I..." Should she reject him? She won't be able to handle the broken look on his face if she does. Does she want to go out with him? Yes, but their relationship can't go on like this. It's wrong. But it doesn't feel wrong. Nobody is able to make her feel the way he does after all.

"Can't... I'm sorry, brother" She looks away immediately, "Can you please leave my room? I need to change now, or I'll be late" She crosses her arms, staring down at her feet to avoid seeing his face.

"Fine" He says, "Call us when you're done... and, be safe Anna"

"Thank you, I will be"

OoOoO

Johan sits on his bed next to his night stand, he stares out the window as his anger and jealousy boils in his blood. He picks up his phone and makes a call, "Hello" He says coldly, and there's a determined look on his face "Yes, she is going" Silence, "Yes, you already have your instructions... yes, call me when it's done" He hangs up, and lays down on his bed, hands resting on his chest.

"I'm sorry Anna... at least, this will make your first date memorable" Johan closes his eyes and waits.

🦋

[sinemoras09]

His footsteps echo on the pavement as he walks, the cold night air seeping through his clothes despite his thick sweater and jacket. He puts his hands in his pockets and reflexively remembers Czechoslovakia again, Anna's cold skin and her hand in his.

It's only when he passes a storefront that he realizes he's no longer smiling. Johan stops. In the darkness, the glass shows his reflection like a mirror, and he can see his true face. Tired eyes, a mouth that's set in a tighter and tighter line. He remembers reaching out a hand to his sister only to be met with screaming. The other half of himself that's still missing.

I want to be whole again. He stares at his reflection. His eyes widen slightly as he pictures Anna's eyes in the window pane staring back at him.

“How can I rest, when my soul is split in two pieces?” He touches the glass, his fingertips sliding on the cool surface.

-Excerpt from the fic, Shatter. Monster from Johan’s POV. Gen. Johan-centric, one-sided Johan/Nina.

[aspoonofsugar]

Johan, Tenma and Nina: “I am You and You are Me”

Hello anon!

Thank you for the ask!

In order to properly analyze Johan though, rather than focusing only on his relationship with Tenma, I think it is important to explore his relationship and foiling with Nina as well, so I hope you won’t mind if in this meta I explore her too.

As a matter of fact, I would say that Tenma, Nina and Johan are the three main characters of Monster and Nina and Tenma’s respective relationships with Johan are equally important to the final outcome and to define who Johan is.

I would also add that it has been a while since I read Monster and even if I will reread some parts for the meta, I am sure I’ll forget many details and subplots which might have added something to this analysis.

This meta will be divided into four sections.

- The first will explore the relationship between Johan and Nina/Tenma and how the picture books convey it.

-The second will say what Johan’s symbolical meaning is within the story.

-The third will be an analysis on who Johan really is (at least a hypothesis).

-The fourth will be a conclusion.

PICTURE BOOKS: TENMA AND NINA’S RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MONSTER

In order to better flash out the relationships between Johan and others I will use the picture books mentioned in the story. I have already talked a little of these books in this meta:

The pictures books which are shown in the series are all pretty important both for the themes and for describing the relationships among the three main characters.

When it comes to Nina and Johan’s relationship, the book which mostly describes it is The Nameless Monster.

In this book there are two nameless monsters who represent the twins. They go in different directions searching for a name i.e. an identity or who they are. This symbolizes how the twins have lost their memories and don’t have strong senses of identity because of their past. However, they reach two opposite solutions. On one hand, the monster of the East who symbolizes Johan possesses a young boy and takes his name. However, in order to stay into the boy’s body he starts killing all the people close to the boy. Basically he creates a situation where, despite him having a name, nobody can use it. This is because the monster’s identity doesn’t lie in a name, but in him accepting his lack of a name (so Johan must accept his past) and in building relationships with others. On the other hand the monster of the West who symbolizes Nina accepts that he is just a nameless monster. This fits with the fact that, ironically, while Johan is always called Johan by the other characters, Nina is called either Nina or Anna and both names are true. What is important is that Nina doesn’t let her past define herself as much as Johan and that she finally accepts it and is able to forgive Johan because of it. Interestingly, the parallels between the twins and the monsters stop when it comes to the ending. As a matter of fact in the book the boy kills the other monster and so he effectively becomes a nameless monster since he lost the only person who truly knew him. However, in the series Johan never kills Nina. She and Tenma become two people he ends up not killing and so they end up saving his life and they give him a personhood by the virtue of simply knowing Johan.

Other than the Nameless Monster, three other picture books are mentioned. They are The Man with Big Eyes and the Man with the Big Mouth, The God of Peace and A Peaceful Home.

In the current meta I will not consider the last one which is mostly about Bonaparta’s redemption (it is the one about an evil magician who goes to a village to steal from the people, but ends up helping them) and is thematically linked to the idea that humans can change. I will instead focus on the other three.

I have already shared some thoughts on the book The Nameless Monster above, so I will now focus on The God of Peace.

While The Nameless Monster is important for Nina and Johan’s foiling, The God of Peace is important for Tenma and Johan’s relationship.

It is clear that the plot of the story calls back to what happened to Tenma.

The God of Peace is a deity who tries his best to make everyone happy. What is more, he is characterized as a father figure since he gives names to the children:

However, at one point a kid called Johan gives the God a hat and the God uses a mirror for the first time. This leads to him seeing that his own reflection is a devil. He realizes that there can’t be peace with such a Devil and kills it and, in this way, kills himself as well.

This is a metaphorical representation of what happened to Tenma. As a matter of fact the story starts with this question:

Tenma decides that all lives are equal and this is why he saves Johan instead of the VIP he was ordered to operate. The result of this is literally Tenma’s rebirth as a doctor. He is glad of what he has done and with time he is able to build a hospital without corruption where lives are treated as equals. After ten years from the operation Tenma lives in a blessed world where everyone is happy and where acting in the right way only delivers good results. His second meeting with Johan destroys this illusion and shows that Tenma’s currently idyllic situation came at the cost of many lives, that his superiors died because he wished they did in front of a sleepy Johan and that if he had just gave in to the corruption of his superiors a “monster” would have died.

In other words, Johan forces Tenma to realize reality is more complex than what he would like and starts Tenma’s existential crisis. This crisis leads Tenma to doubt his own ideals (is it really true that all lives are equal? Wouldn’t Johan’s death mean a lot of others will be saved?) and to try to kill Johan multiple times. Symbolically Tenma killing Johan would mean that he gives up on his ethical code and on his mission as a doctor. It would mean that together with Johan Tenma would be killing a part of himself as well and it is this specific part of himself that has been helping so many people. In order to kill the Devil Tenma must also kill the God of Peace.

In other words, Tenma finds himself facing an impossible dilemma and in this dilemma lies the main theme of the series which is conveyed through the third picture book.

In The Man with Big Eyes and the Man with the Big Mouth, two men are offered to make a deal with the devil. The man with the big mouth accepts, while the man with the big eyes refuses. As a result, the man with the big mouth has a very enjoyable life, but towards the end of it he realizes his mistake and regrets his deal with the devil. Now, usually one would expect that the man with big eyes has the opposite destiny. He might struggle in life, but will finally be rewarded in the end. However, this is not what happens and in the end the man with big eyes is just as miserable as the man with the big mouth. He regrets not having made a deal with the devil and it is by that point that the devil returns:

After Nina hears this story she is asked this:

This is not by chance because this short-story perfectly conveys the apparently dead-end the characters are all facing.

They can either refuse to buy into the ideology that different lives have different values or accept it. If they accept it, they end up corrupted in a world which is sad and dark. However, even if they refuse it they must accept the existence of someone like Johan who openly challenges the ideas of justice and of empathy. So, what should they do? What does the story mean? What is the solution?

The short story conveys a pessimistic moral. There is no way out and in the end everyone will surrender to the devil and lose hope.

This vision is a nihilistic one and nihilism is linked to this:

It is the “vision of the doomsday” Johan keeps talking about. This scenery comes up numerous times:

The first scene is the scene you asked about. There Johan looks Schuwald in the eyes and asks him what he sees. In this scene the scenery of the doomsday does not directly appear, but Johan invokes it with his words since he describes a reality of solitude where only he and Nina existed and had no names. This is a reference to their lives starting with the Red Rose Mansion incident up until when they were found by Wolf. By this point the reader knows nothing and probably Johan too has fragmented memories, but he is talking about the Three Frogs incident where their mother gave Nina up to Bonaparta (a town out of a fairy-tale), the Red Rose Mansion massacre (many people died) and Nina and Johan’s journey towards the border (my other self and I held hands and walked...we were the only two people in the world...and we had no names). All of these experiences end up being summarized and artisticly conveyed in other moments through the imagery of the vision of the doomsday which represents the absolute end and nothingness.

Wolf (in the second scene) sees it before dying and calls it the land of the nameless.Having a name in the story is symbolic of having an identity and this means mostly that someone knows you. If nobody can’t call your name, then you do not really exist and there is no proof of your existence. Relationships with others define the person to an extent and the land of the nameless is a dimension where all these relationships are lost and the individual is alone in front of nothing. It is a place full of solitude. This landscape is symbolic of Johan’s mind and of his vision of the world.

Before going on, I will like to highlight one last thing about the picture books. I have mentioned that the book A Nameless Monster seems to be a reference to Johan and Nina’s relationship, while The God of Peace is a reference to the bond between Johan and Tenma. This is true and especially evident, but what is said in both books is true for both Nina and Tenma.

As stated above, for example, in the end Johan is saved because of his relationship with both Nina and Tenma and not just because of the one he has with his sister.

At the same time, what is said in The God of Peace is true also for Nina and not only for Tenma. After all, there is this:

Johan repeats the Devil’s gesture to both his sister and Tenma in different moments. Nina also states this:

This is a direct reference to what happens in the story since Nina claims she will kill Johan and then herself. How does the story of The God of Peace fit Nina and Johan?

It has to do with their opposite coping mechanisms.

On one hand Nina removes her most painful memories. This is why she has forgotten about the Red Rose Mansion and later on she forgets about Johan and her attempted murder of him. In this way she protects herself and her idea of being “pure” and “righteous” somehow.

This is coherent with Nina’s initial strictness about justice I have discussed here:

Basically, she goes from an idea of justice which is extremely strict and merciless to an idea of justice which is intertwined with empathy and which refuses death penalty. She is also a character who starts out not believing that a person can be redeemed and ends her arc by forgiving her brother and believing that even he can find redemption. This is her arc in a nut-shell and the chapter the Fifth Spoonful of Sugar touches all of these ideas.

And it is made clear in scenes like this:

Nina is scared that remembering her trauma will make her a monster. She needs to believe that she did not assist to any massacre and that, if she did, the event left no scar on her. This is obviously impossible and this is why when she remembers what happened she showcases an unusual violent side and even presents suicide tendencies.

On the other hand Johan attaches himself to the few memories he has and, because of his own frail identity, ends up accepting as his own even Nina’s past. Basically, Johan is so scared of losing that little sense of self that he has that he has made Nina’s memories his own.

It is telling that in the beginning both twins are so sure of their respective roles in the Red Rose Mansion case that they barely question them. Johan is sure to be the one who saw people die, while Nina is sure that she is the child who waited for Johan safely at home. This can suggest that the two siblings had developed specific roles in their dynamic and that, to be more precise, Johan was the one who took upon himself the role of protecting his sister and the role of a devil, while Nina took upon herself the role of victim and of being “pure”. In short, they have both uncounsciously embraced a narrative in order to survive. However, these roles are clearly too simplicistic to describe the complexity of the situation and of both siblings and Nina’s journey is also about realizing this.

In summary, Nina has been using a coping mechanism thanks to which she has been able to repress everything negative that happened to her. Her brother is the link to these events, so her quest to find him and to understand him leads to her uncovering her lost memories.

This is why the metaphor of the God of Peace and of the Devil fits Nina and Johan as it does Tenma and Johan. Both Nina and Tenma were able to live peaceful lives at the price of forgetting or not realizing the truth about Johan. Johan is in other words a Jungian Shadow to the both of them and this is why they can’t kill him without self-destroying.

To finish this section, let’s underline that the three picture books we discussed have all grim endings and that all these endings were negated or subverted by the main story. In the end Johan did not kill Tenma and Nina and so he could continue to exist and did not become a nameless monster. Nina and Tenma did not kill Johan and so they did not kill themselves. Finally the Devil’s tempation was avoided.

AN UNINTELLIGIBLE DEVIL: JOHAN AS AN UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH

I don’t think that your struggle to understand Johan is by chance because all in all I don’t think Johan is a character made to be completely understood. Rather he is a character written to challenge both the readers and the characters to understand him. After all, the essence of Monster is the search for Johan. By this, I mean both the physical search for Johan since he needs to be stopped, but also the search of what made Johan Johan. Why is Johan the way he is? What motivates him? Was he born a monster or did he become one? And why?

The point of Johan is that there is no answer or maybe there are so many answers that it is difficult to find a definite one. This is why both Nina and Tenma in their investigations keep discovering things and offering answers only for those answers to be readily subverted.

For example, when Tenma discovers about Kinderheim 511 he believes that Johan has become who he is because of the ruthless mistreatment he received there. However, he soon realizes that even before that place Johan had already killed. That said, this does not mean that Kinderheim 511 had no effect on Johan whatsoever or that he is not a victim of that place. Johan is a victim, but the way he acts can’t be explained or excused with his victimhood.

Later on, Nina suspects that her brother has a double personality who forces him to commit crimes. However, this turns out to be false as well. This does not mean, though, that the lines Nina has read and which say “Look at me! Look at me! The monster inside of me has gotten stronger” are not true for Johan. They are and, even if Johan does not have any double personality, he still has an identity problem which is at the root of his behaviour.

Finally, both Nina and Tenma think that the root of Johan’s trauma is that he was given by his mother to Bonaparta, was brought to the Red Rose Mansion and assisted at the deaths of many people. However, even this explanation turns out to be false since it was Nina and not Johan the one who saw the massacre. That said, even in this case, their mother’s choice and the massacre at the mansion have had a huge impact on Johan, but not in the way everyone expects. What is more, even in that case, his behaviour can’t be excused and can’t be completely explained since Nina went through similar experiences and reacted differently.

In other words, to quote a character from another franchise:

In short, what is upsetting about Johan is that he does not let the characters or the readers find simple solutions and his presence brings up distressing truths. What is “evil”? How do you behave in front of someone who embodies the essence of evilness?

This is why Johan is clearly associated throughout the narrative to the idea of the Devil, while Tenma is clearly associated to the idea of God. Where Johan kills and destroys, Tenma helps and cures.

This is why their fight is symbolic of the battle between good and evil and at the same time, it can’t be solved with one killing the other. As a matter of fact Johan does not want to kill Tenma, but wants to kill what Tenma believes in. At the same time, Tenma killing Johan would mean the defeat of his ideals.

Basically, Johan is not a character easy to empathize with. Don’t get me wrong, people will surely empathize, but even in that case, I think they will mostly empathize with fragments of his story, rather than with the entirety of it and with all its contradictions. This is because he is written in a way which makes him difficult to process.

Maybe it is because of this that, in the end, the fact Nina and Tenma are finally able to empathize with Johan is something which turns out incredibly important for their development and the focus stays on them in those moments to the point that we never get to properly see Johan’s POV and how he reacts to this empathy. To be honest, we can’t even be sure that Nina and Tenma are right in their conclusions even if the story highly implies so. As a matter of fact Nina and Tenma’s moments of realization are moments which present Johan filtered through their own eyes and them finally understanding the “monster” lets them finally understand themselves.

In Nina’s case:

She arrives at the conclusion that if she had just forgiven her brother back then and probably seeked help, she could have avoided everything that happened later. She reaches the conclusion after seeing Bonaparta’s drawings, remembering the man’s words and remembering Johan’s tears in the past and imagining his present ones.

Once she reaches this understanding of her brother she is ready to forgive him and she actually wants to. Nina’s arc is great because it shows that forgiveness does not equal redemption. Sometimes there is redemption without forgiveness (like in Bonaparta’s case since it is implied Johan has not forgiven him), while sometimes there is forgiveness without redemption (Johan has done nothing to amend, but Nina still forgives him).

In Tenma’s case, his final understanding of Johan comes in the very last chapter and it is this:

I would like to highlight that this scene in itself is ambiguous. Is Tenma dreaming? Or is Johan truly talking with him? It is not clear, but in the first case we can say Tenma has finally understood the truth behind the mystery Johan is, while in the second case we have Johan finally opening up about what hurt him the most.

In both Nina and Tenma’s cases, it is important that their understanding of Johan is radicated in their understanding of themselves. Nina is Johan’s sister and so she must understand him as a sister, she must untie and solve all the ambiguities and misunderstanding of their relationship and uncover the past they share. Tenma is the doctor who saved Johan’s life and clearly Johan has laced on him as to a father figure, even if in a twisted way. Because of this, it makes sense that in the end he is the one who realizes how much his mother’s choice has affected Johan.

In other words, Johan is a mirror of both Nina and Tenma and his elusive nature is what keeps the story together thematically. The story asks what a monster is and if the answer were simple the story would not be so captivating.

In the end both Tenma and Nina “defeat” the devil, but they do so not by killing him, but by refusing his nihilistic logic. They have managed to free themselves from the devil’s constant tempation. Even if the life of the man with big eyes is difficult the only hope lies in fighting against evilness and injustice through a correct behaviour. If one leaves that path they will only suffer and lose themselves.

This is also why the final image is so powerful:

Johan disappears once again and we, as readers, can only hope he will use the second chance he was given in a positive way and not to start another cycle. That said, this is something we can’t be completely sure of as we can’t be sure of evilness completely disappearing from the world. What we can be sure of is that it is necessary to resist it.

“LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! THE MONSTER INSIDE OF ME IS GETTING STRONGER!”: THE EMPTINESS BEHIND THE SCARY MONSTER

Let’s consider this:

This scene shows Wolf giving Johan his name and how he indeed was inspired by the Picture Book the boy had with him.

This is important because it shows how Johan’s identity ends up being strictly intertwined with those picture books. In a sense, Johan is the fruit of those books since he ends taking the name “Johan” used by different characters in those books, repeats the books’ lines in an obsessive way and even ends up unconsciously reproducing the stories in the real life. He does so by repeating specific lines and latching onto situations which resemble the ones he read in the books. For example, he identifies with the nameless monster of the books and tries to cope with the emptiness he feels inside by joining different families only to leave them and discard them once they are not able to fill the emptiness he feels. He identifies Nina as his other self, just like the Devil and the God of Peace of the books and repeats the devil’s lines to her. Once he finds Tenma aka an incredibly altruistic and selfless person who ends up saving his life he starts unconsciously replicating the same dynamic with him. He tempts people and manipulates them like the Devil of The Man with Big Eyes and the Man with the Big Mouth. It is actually interesting that Johan ends up always identifying with the devil instead than with other characters, but this can be partially explained by the fact that devils and monsters are the most recurrent characters in the books. This might be why Johan aka a child with a very frail sense of self ended up projecting on them specifically as characters appearing often and being constant. This might also be why he specifically latched on the name Johan which is often used in the books. In general, he develops a vision of the world which is pessimistic and nihilistic and which is the one conveyed by the book he was taught to study and to read.

This is important because in this way Johan becomes the heir of Bonaparta’s vision before his change of heart, while Nina who was shown a glimpse of love and of hope becomes the heir of Bonaparta’s ideals conveyed in A Peaceful Home.

What is interesting is that Johan’s emulation of the picture books became so severe specifically because of him not having a strong enough sense of self hence his necessity to latch on to things and to other people to define himself.

This is made clear since when his mother had to choose one of her children over the other. In the end, one of the reasons why his mother’s choice left such a huge impact on him was because he was not sure that his mother really intended to save him instead of his sister. Behind this doubt hides the fear of not really existing as an individual and of simply being a part of a set to the point that even his own mother is not able to distinguish him from his sister. This is a feeling which could probably be born because of the horrific childhood he and Nina had. As a matter of fact they were not given names and were treated like weapons by the people around them. What is more, the twins only had each other when it came to important relationships between peers.

This frail sense of self combined with the very strong bond Johan has with his sister leads to him confusing her memories for his. When it comes to that, this is interesting:

This is a glimpse of what used to happen in Kinderheim 511 and it is shown that some experiments there damaged people’s memories. This might be why Johan lost his memories and why in an attempt not to forget his sister he ended up making her past his. All in all, it is not clear when exactly Johan started confusing his memories with hers and it might have been before Kinderheim 511, during it or even after Nina shot him. The point is that the scene above shows Johan’s strong wish not to forget the person whom he defined himself through and how this wish is at the root of him twisting his memories.

What is interesting is that throughout the years Johan started reproducing a series of crimes which can be connected to his own trauma and to Nina’s one. On one hand he started killing parental figures and eliminated all the people who cared for the siblings through their journey. This is a response to the betrayal he felt towards his mother who gave up on one of her children and later on left them both behind. On the other hand he started organizing massacres to emulate what happened at the Red Rose Mansion.

These repetitive actions give birth to a pattern Johan himself is unable to leave. He is trapped in his own past and so he keeps reproducing it together with the fairy tales he used to read as a child.

This behaviour underlines a contradiction Johan has. On one hand he wants to develop relationships with others and this is why he keeps searching for new parental figures. On the other hand he is not able to properly have relationships which are not manipulative or exploitative. All in all he is never able to make “the monster inside of him” rest. This restless monster who keeps getting stronger is not really his violent side, as Nina thinks at first, but it is nothing more than the emptiness he feels because he does not really understand who he is. He can’t give any meaning to his life and so he keeps searching for one, does not find it, accepts nihilism and repeats. In a sense, he fails in his search because he has already given up on it before starting it. He has already accepted the vision of the doomsday.

CONCLUSION: GOD, DEVIL AND HUMAN

This analysis showed how Tenma, Johan and Nina are all connected and how there is a constant foiling among all three of them.

1) Tenma and Johan represent respectively the “God” and the “Devil” meaning that their respective philosophies challenge each other and embody “goodness” and “evilness”.

2) Nina and Johan embody two opposite reactions to a traumatic past. Nina completely removed the bad things, while Johan stayed attached to them to the point that he made his even Nina’s. None of these reactions is completely correct and this is why Nina went through a painful journey of self-discovery to retrieve her memories.

3) Finally Nina and Tenma are two people who start parallel journeys to find Johan and end up saving each other in these journeys.

As a matter of fact Tenma saves Nina in the beginning when he saves Johan and prevents Nina from becoming a murderer, while Nina saves Tenma from the same fate at the end when she stops Tenma from shooting and encourages him to save her brother.

All in all, it is interesting that throughout their journey they both try to kill Johan, but are against the other doing it as if they could see clearly that this action would negatively affect them:

So, in a sense Nina and Tenma too are mirrors and they can see their own pain and confusion in the other.

This last point is interesting also when it comes to the teological motif concerning Tenma. As a matter of fact Tenma represents God within the story, but at the same time his struggle and indeciveness are incredibly human. He never loses himself, but he is about to many times. So Tenma is both “god” and “human”. We can also say that he is a specific ideal incarnated in a human who has to face the fact that this ideal is not so easy to follow and to apply in the human world with all its contradictions. This is also true because of society incarnated by Lunge (a justice blind to the truth) and Eva (the corruption within society). It is not by chance that because of these two characters Tenma ends up becoming a suspect and is persecuted by society when he himself is trying to protect it. In a sense, Johan is able to act so freely precisely because he acts in Tenma’s shadow. Tenma ends up being Johan’s opposite when it comes to his relationship with others because while in the end very few people are left knowing about Johan, a lot of people know Tenma’s name. These relationships (or lack of in Johan’s case) are for both characters double edged swords. On one hand Tenma is initially suspected because of his relationships with others. For example his relationship with his superiors and with Eva puts him in a bad light. He is a man with positive and negative bonds and this is why he can be suspected of a crime, while Johan can’t and avoids imprisonment because of this. On the other hand Tenma’s relationships are also what saves him multiple times and in the end bonds are also what defeats Johan (the bond between a father and a son) and what saves him (Nina and Tenma’s bond with him).

In short, Tenma is a God made human, while Johan is a victim turned into a devil. Then who exactly is Nina? As @hamliet​ commented, Nina is humanity who must choose between the two ideologies offered to her. This is why, while both Johan and Tenma remain loyal to their respective philosophies from the beginning of the story to the end, she changes.

Comparing the beginning with the end makes it clear. The story starts and ends with Johan asking a person to shoot him in the head and with Tenma operating and saving Johan. The variable is Nina who starts the story shooting her brother and ends it by encouraging Tenma to save him. This is particularly beautiful because in the end it is thanks to the “human” aka Nina that “god” aka Tenma does not lose himself and wins. In the end the fight between these two forces is decided not by who is stronger, but by the people each one of them is able to influence.

Thank you for the ask! I am sorry for this very long ramble and I hope it is clear enough!

[wandering-bard-from-the-id]

Daughters of Arendelle - Chapter 46

Chapter 46 - Part III

Chapters 1 - 45 available at FF.net

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12222767/1/Daughters-of-Arendelle

See, I told you there was a part III. Sorry for the delay.

Chapter 46

September 15, 1840

Kai pulled back on the reins, easing the wagon to a stop. Before him a low wall of stones stretched between two boulders, blocking the path.

Birds chirped at the intruders from branches laden with autumn colored leaves.

“Are you sure this is the right place?” Olsen called from the rear wagon, eying the stone barrier.

“According to the map, it is.” It should be.

“Hello! I’m Olaf!”

Several small birds startled into flight as the cheery call echoed through the trees.  

“Olaf!” Tension eased in Kai’s shoulders. The dancing little snowman had never been a more welcome sight.

Bouncing from stone to stone, said snowman landed on a rock near Kai. “Kristoff is waiting for you. Come on!” He sprang into the air, spun and landed several feet beyond the rock wall.

Kai and Olsen scrambled off the wagons. It took them a little more effort to climb over the rocks. Beyond the barrier, they found themselves in a clearing. Steam vents kept the morning chill from the air.

Blanketed men lay spread around the area, close enough to the vents to keep them warm.

“Sir!” Huddled by one of the vents, Corporal Smyth dropped a wooden spoon into the soup pot, he’d been stirring. He snapped to attention, with a sharp salute.

“At ease, Corporal.” Olsen returned the salute with a half wave. “Where is Lieutenant Nickolas?”

“Over here, Johan.” Nickolas waved from his place, propped against a boulder.

“Axel!” Rushing across the clearing, Olsen dropped to a knee at Nickolas’s side.

“It’s good to see you, Johan.” Nickolas caught an offered hand, pulling his friend in for a back slap.

“And you.” Olsen grinned from ear to ear.

Laughter, back slapping and teasing, revealed the unspoken relief they shared at finding the other alive.

Olsen pushed back to arm’s length, taking close assessment of his friend’s bloody clothes. “How bad is it?”

“Not as bad as it looks. The bullet passed through my thigh, missing the bone. Thanks to Smyth and the trolls, I’ll get to keep it.”

“Trolls?” Olsen’s eyes narrowed, searching Nickolas for signs of a head wound.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Nickolas said. “I know it sounds mad, but, I promise you, they’re real.”

“Kai!”

With an arm draped over Sven’s neck, Kristoff stumbled into the clearing.

The Chamberlain noted Sven was adjusting his pace to keep his friend upright. Blood stains covered the young man’s tunic. His free arm hung from a made-shift sling.

“Master Kristoff, I’m glad to see you up and about.” Kai dipped his head in greeting.

 “Is Anna alright?”

 “When I saw her last, the Princess was sleeping peacefully.”

 “When you saw her last? How long ago was that?”

 “Please, Kai, give the boy some piece of mind before he drives us all mad.” Nickolas stole a teasing wink at Olsen. “He’s been pacing like a caged wolf since the Queen’s message arrived.”

There was something in the young man’s eyes. Concern. Fear. The boy does have it bad for her. Kai tucked the thought away for later.

“She and the Queen suffered some injuries during the battle.” Kai said. No need to frighten him with details, not till he can see her for himself. “Doctor Engen believes the Princess will make a full recovery. She and the Queen were sleeping when we left.”

Kristoff allowed his weight to shift against Sven. “Okay. Good.” He looked to Kai. “That’s good, right?”

“Yes, that’s good.” Kai offered him what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

Brown eyes narrowed, as something clicked. “Wait, Elsa’s hurt too?”

“Yes,” said Olsen. “she and the prince had a go of it. After that Princess Anna carved him up like a Christmas goose.” There was a hint of amusement on his lips. “I suspect he’s wishing he’d never heard of Arendelle.” His features darkened. “Queen Elsa made short work of his navy. I’ve no doubt, she’d have taken him out sooner if not for the wounds she suffered during the ambush.”

“Ambush?” Nickolas bristled. “What ambush?”

“Tollak sent a couple of traitor scouts to murder the Queen.” Olsen said.

“That traitor, bastard!” Nickolas growled through clenched teeth. “Hanging will be to good for him.”

“Yes,” Olsen nodded in agreement. “Though I’m looking forward to seeing him and that Southern Isles dog dancing at the end of a rope.”

“Where is Hans now?” Knuckles cracked as Kristoff’s fist tightened. He straightened, swaying before reaching once more for Sven.

“Rotting in the castle dungeon.” Olsen replied. “You’ve no need to worry about him. Even if he survives till his execution, he’s in no condition to cause trouble.”

“The enemy fleet has surrendered.” Kai said. “Most of the traitors have either been killed or captured. Thanks to the Queen and Princess, Arendelle is safe.”

“How many did we lose?” Nickolas looked to Olsen.

“Too many.” Unable to meet his gaze, Olsen focused on a patch of dirt. “We don’t know the exact numbers yet.”

Silence settled over the clearing, lingering for several heartbeats.

“Master Kristoff,” Kai pulled a bundle from his jacket pocket. “I have need of your family’s assistance. I believe they may be able to identify this.” He pushed aside the cloth covering the disk.

Kristoff touched a finger to the metal, jerking it back as if burnt. “Where did you get this?”

“Prince Hans brought it to attack Queen Elsa.”

“Grand Pabbi!” Kristoff didn’t take his eyes from the disk. “I need to speak with you. Now!”

There was a pause, rocks surrounding the clearing began to shake, rolling toward them. One stopped before Kristoff, forming into a troll. The others took their true form, encircling the men.

“Sweet Mother Mary!” Olsen jumped, reaching for his sword.

Nickolas caught his arm staying it. “It’s alright Johan. You get use to them after a while.”

Olsen relaxed, keeping a weary eye on the stone creatures.

“There is strange magic in the air.” Grand Pabbi held out a hand.

Kai placed the disk in the outstretched palm.

“Do you know what it is?” Kristoff took a half step back as the red gem pulsed.

Turning the disk, Grand Pabbi studied it from all angles. Thick brows furrowed till they almost touched. “Ancient magic, from far away. It does not belong in a land of ice and snow.”

“Who created it?” Kristoff leaned in for another look, careful to keep his distance.

“One of the ancient tribes of man. They sought to harness the power of the sun. Their ways have long been lost to the world.” He draped the cloth over the stone, holding it out to Kai. “Any who wield this would be a great threat. You said, the prince attempted to harm Queen Elsa with it?”

“Yes.” Kai took the disk, wrapping the cloth tighter. “He tried several times to kill her with it.”

Grand Pabbie’s head bobbed up and down. “She is lucky not to have been struck.”

“Begging your pardon, sir, but she was struck.” Kai slipped the disk into his jacket pocket.

Grand Pabbie’s head snapped up. “Was it a glancing blow?”

“No. A direct hit.”

“And she lives?” Bulda leaned in from behind Kristoff.

“Yes.” Fear flickered in Kai’s chest at the troll’s outburst. “Though we are concerned about her.”

“As you should be.” There was no comfort in the ancient troll’s words.

Olsen looked to Nicholas. “Cussed thing blasted a hole through our fleet, sending two ships to the ocean floor before they could fire a shot. It turned two men to ash with one blast.”

“Which is what it would have done to Queen Elsa, were it not for her magic.” Stone fingers rubbed at Grand Pabbie’s chin, his gaze focused on something only he could see. “That she survived is a testament to her great power. Did you notice anything strange about her magic after she was struck?”

Kai felt an uncomfortable shiver up his spine. “She was having trouble recalling her magic, though that could have been from fatigue.”

“She was hot.”

All eyes turned to Olaf. He rocked back and forth oblivious to the attention.

“What do you mean, she was hot?” Kristoff’s voice carried a touch of the dread they all felt.

“Last night, she was feeling hot. She didn’t like it.”

Concerned looks passed among the group.

“Olaf,” Kristoff paused till he had the snowman’s attention. “do you know if she’s feeling hot now?”

His head tilted to one side, dipping low enough to be comical had the situation been different. “Huh, she’s not feeling anything.” He began to hum, rocking back and forth.

Kai stepped in, taking a turn. “Olaf, is it normal for you not to be able to sense what Her Majesty is feeling?”

“No, why?”

Grand Pabbie broke the deafening silence hovering over the clearing. “It would seem her magic was strained by the attack. Perhaps even pushed to its limits.”

“Limits?” Olsen scoffed, looking over the group. “What limits? She held the entire kingdom in a three-day blizzard without breaking a sweat.”

“That was different.” Grand Pabbie brushed away the remark with a wave of his hand. “The blizzard was Elsa’s magic stretching after being held back for so long. This, was an attack. Defending against it would have pushed her magic to great limits.”

“How could it hurt her magic?” Unconvinced Olsen frowned at the troll.

“As I said, the disk draws power from the sun. One of the greatest forces in nature. Just, as a sword can strike at her flesh, the disk struck at her magic.”

“Is there anything you can do for her?” Kristoff said.

Kai noted the pleading look in the mountain man’s eyes. It mirrored his own.

“I’m sorry, Kristoff.” The old troll sighed. “This is beyond my powers. She must fight this battle alone.”

“What can we do?” Kai pushed down the dread creeping over him.

“Wait.” The simple answer solved nothing.

Few things drove Kai to anger or frustration, yet, somehow, the troll was doing just that.

“There has to be something else?” Olsen looked to the others for help.

“If you were to lose an arm or a leg, you could survive.” Grand Pabbie said. “Queen Elsa’s magic is more ingrained, it would be as if her lungs or heart were damaged.”

“Will it heal?” The weight on Kai’s shoulders grew heavier.

“Perhaps, with time.”

“And if it can’t heal?” There was an ever so slight quiver in Kristoff’s voice.

“Her magic could be lost or damaged for good.” The ancient troll looked up at him. “And if the damage is severe enough, she will leave this world for the next.”

Dread settled over the group with a crushing weight.

“I’m sorry, Kristoff.” Grand Pabbi, patted his grandson’s leg. “There is nothing I can do.”

“Thank you, for your assistance.” Kai bowed, his face betraying none of the emotions stirring beneath the surface. This will break Anna’s heart. What of Gerda? His blood ran cold at the toll such a loss would take on his wife. The weight pressed harder on his shoulders. “Gentlemen, we need to load the wounded and get back.”

No words were spoken as they set about their work.

0000

Grand Pabbie and Bulda gave a final wave to Kristoff as the wagons rumbled away.

“Have you heard of anyone surviving such an attack?” Bulda didn’t look away as the wagons disappeared into the thick woods.

“No.” Grand Pabbie didn’t face her.

“She is strong.”

“The strongest I’ve ever seen.” He said.

“Have you seen any signs?”

“Her fate is undecided.”

“Then there is hope.”

“Hope? You sound like a human, Bulda.” His brow arched as their eyes met.

She shrugged. “After a thousand years, they start to rub off on you.”

Grand Pabbie answered with a soft chuckle.

“What if she passes?”

“Then it will be another thousand years before we see her like again.” He grew solemn. “It will be a great loss for the world…and a sad day.” Not waiting for an answer, he curled into himself, rolling away.

Bulda continued to stare at the empty woods. “Not just for the world.”

0000

Checking his pocket watch against the grandfather clock across the room, Kai noted both were in perfect sync. Satisfied he clicked the watch closed, slipping it back into his vest pocket.

“Princess Anna?” There was no response. Not that one had been expected. He began arranging the serving tray, each item laid out in its proper place. Just because they had suffered a war was no reason to forgo proper manners.

“Princess Anna, it’s time to wake up.” His voice rose an octave.

She snuggled deeper into the bedding with a faint grumble.

There was a comforting sense of normality in the routine they’d shared for years. Somethings never change. His gaze caught on the blackish blue marks covering her face and neck. And yet, they have.

Thoughts of throttling Tollak and that bastard prince brought an anger he hadn’t felt in years. He shook it off. There would be time to deal with them later. For now, there were others more deserving of his attention.

“Your Highness, it’s time to eat.”

“Just…five more…min…utes…” She drooled into the pillow.

Leaning closer, he called in the booming voice usually reserved for court announcements. “It’s time to wake up, ma’am.”

Anna stirred, groaning as she rolled onto her back. One eye cracked open taking a moment to focus on him. Something akin to a grunt croaked from her lips.

“Good evening, Milady.” Kai’s warm smile widened. “It’s time to eat and take your medicine.” Dishes clinked as he arranged a cup and saucer.

“Kai?” She croaked through parched lips. “…thirsty…” Rumblings from her stomach almost drown out the request.

“Of course, ma’am.” He filled a glass from the pitcher on the nightstand.

She struggled to sit up, arms trembling under the strain. Halfway up, she yelped, collapsing onto the pillows.

“Princess Anna!” Kai sat the glass aside, easing onto the edge of the bed. “Are you alright?” He placed a hand on her arm. Muscles beneath his palm quivered with tension and pain.

“Muscles…hurt….” Eyes squeezed shut, she drew several quick, short breaths. It took a moment, for her to slow it down.

“I’m afraid you’re going to be sore for a few days. You took quite a beating.

She chuckled relaxing into the bed. “Yeah, but…you should see…the other guy.”

“I have seen him, ma’am. You were definitely on the winning side of the fight.”

Laughter filled the room.

Anna groaned, pressing a hand to her side. “Oh, don’t…make me…laugh.”

“Sorry, milady.” He patted her arm, reaching for the glass. “Here, let me help you.” Slipping a hand under her head, he raised her, pressing the cup to her lips. She looks so small, so helpless. He pushed away the thought. “Easy, don’t gulp.”

Gasping for air, she pulled away. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” He sat the glass on the nightstand. “Cook made one of your favorites for dinner this evening.”

“I’ve already had dinner.” She rubbed sleep from her eyes, flinching in pain with the movement.

“That was last night, ma’am.” He stood, making the final arrangements on the tray. “You need to eat something today.”  

“Wait, what? How long have I been asleep?”

“Since last night. You’ve slept through most of the day.”

“I have?” Her brows arched, causing her to grimace. She reached up, gingerly touching the bandage around her head. “Kai? Why are you here?”

“I’m trying to serve you dinner, ma’am.”

“No, I mean, why are you here? Where’s Gerda?”

“Gerda is getting some much-needed rest, and Alma is watching over Queen Elsa, while she sleeps.”

“Why does Elsa need to be watched? What’s wrong with her?” Stiff, sore muscles slowed her down enough for Kai to stop her from throwing off the blankets.

With a firm, yet, gentle grip, he stayed her hand. Leaning down he held her gaze.

“They are watching over her for any signs of fever, just as I was watching over you. We thought it best to limit the number of people with access to you and the Queen, while the Admiral sorts out some security issues.”

“Security issues?” Her eyes narrowed. “Are there still traitors in the castle?”

“No, I don’t believe so.” He released her, turning once more to the tray. “With the heavy losses suffered by the Guardsmen and Queen’s Shield, the Admiral and Captain Olsen wished to have the best qualified men assigned to guard duty.”

“Heavy losses.”

Kai almost missed the whispered words. He noted the pain flash across her face. It wasn’t from her wounds.

Her eyes squeezed shut, trying to shake away some unwanted thought. The movement brought on a grimace.

“So, the Admiral is in charge?”

“Yes. He’ll be happy to hear you’re awake. I don’t think he is enjoying the task of Regent.” Kai said.

“What about the townspeople and the wounded?”

“The Admiral and Bishop Solberg have the situation well in hand. I assure you, milady, everyone is being seen to.”

“Good.” She relaxed, her eyes drifting closed.

“Let’s get you propped up, so you can eat.” Hands held out, he waited for permission to touch her.

“Okay.” She reached for him.

He eased onto the bed, letting her arms slip around him. With great care he lifted her.

“Awww!”

Kai froze. “Are you alright?”

“Yes.” She managed a weak smile, leaning into him.

He eased her up.

Her head came to rest on his shoulder.

He felt her face press against his neck. There was a shudder coupled with a muffled sob.

“Your Highness?”

Slender arms tightened around him.  

“Milady?”

Tears stained his collar. It had been sometime since he’d seen her cry so. Rubbing small circles over her back, he pulled her in closer. “It’s alright, Princess.” Spoken with soft assurance, the title carried more of an endearment than a rank. “You’re safe now.”

She curled into the protective embrace, as she had done since childhood. “I’m…sorry…”

“For what?”

“Pushing…you away. Not…your fault…manacles…”

“Shhh, there’s no need to cry over that.” He cupped the back of her head, tucking her under his chin.

She shook with a sob. “Almost lost…you…and Gerda.”

“It’s alright, Anna. I’m here. The worst is over. Your sister, Master Kristoff and Gerda are safe now.” Don’t lie to her, warned a whisper. He prayed it would not become one.

“Kristoff?” She leaned back. “He’s here?” A tear streaked down her cheek.

Kai wiped it away with a gloved finger. There was still so much of the child he knew in the bright eyes staring up at him. “Yes, Captain Olsen, and I, brought him and the others back this morning.”

“He’s not in the stables, is he?” She wiped a hand over her eyes, smearing tears across flushed cheeks.

“No.” Kai chuckled, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket, and handing it to her. “He’s in the guest room Queen Elsa assigned him.”

“Good. Thank you for bringing him home.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I want to see him.” Anna wiped at her eyes and cheeks.

“He’s sleeping, as is Queen Elsa. Besides, it’s time for you to eat.” He held her gaze, making it clear there would be no room for further argument.

“Fine.” Her shoulders slumped as she handed back the handkerchief. “But I want to see them, soon.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He supported her with one arm as he arranged the pillows, lowering her onto the pile.

She caught his arm with both hands, holding him in place. “Kai, I…I’m glad you’re okay. I’ve missed you.”

His eyes misted at the revelation. “I’ve missed you too, milady.” Afraid his own tears would escape, Kai patted her hands, freeing himself. “You need to eat before your food gets cold.”

He stood, taking a napkin from the tray. In one fluid motion he snapped it open, draping it over Anna’s chest. While he turned to the tray, she tucked a corner of the linen cloth into her nightgown collar.

Careful of her leg, he placed the tray over her lap. He pulled away the plate cover, revealing large portions of roast beef, roasted potatoes, vegetables and fresh warm bread.

Anna’s eyes widened with delight. “That smells amazing.”

“It was one of Cook’s better efforts. The roast is quite tender.” He sat the cover aside, and poured a cup of tea, adding milk and sugar to Anna’s liking.

“I’m never going to be able to eat all of this.” Pain crossed her face as she raised a forkful of roast beef. Several pieces of it slipped from the fork, dropping onto the plate. With some effort, she managed a bite without spilling the rest on herself. She hummed through a mouthful of food. “Wonderful.”

Chuckling Kai placed the teacup on the tray. “I’ll let Cook know you are pleased.” He sat in the chair near the edge of the bed, watching her work through the meal.

Only a few pieces ended up on the napkin, fortunately, none landed on the bedding.

She drained the teacup in two large gulps.

Kai took it. He opened a bottle sitting on the nightstand and spooned in two teaspoons of amber liquid, mixing it into the tea before placing it on the tray.

Anna’s eyes narrowed. “What did you put in my tea?”

“Doctor Engen wants you to take a dose of medicine. He said, it will help with the pain.”

“Is it that horrible stuff from last night?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“Hump.” She took a large bite of bread chewing on it.

Kai settled into the chair. “How is your leg?”

“It hurts. So do my ribs, both arms and my head.” Bread crumbs tumbled from her lips onto the napkin. “I think the only place that doesn’t hurt is my left pinky toe.” She paused to glare at the blankets. There was a bit of movement beneath the covers. She grimaced. “No, that hurts too.”

Relieved by her antics, Kai settled back in the chair with a hearty laugh. Watching her struggle with the fork, his humor faded. “You took a nasty fall, among other things.” He shook away the image of her falling under a hail of bullets. “I suspect you’ll be sore for some time. Tomorrow, we should get you up and moving around. It will help.”

“M’kay.” She lifted the cup to him. “Skoal.” With a deep breath, she downed it in one go. The last of it splattered over the napkin, as she broke into a coughing fit.

“Are you alright?” He leaned forward, reaching for her.

“Yes.” She managed to gasp between coughs. Winded she flopped back on the pillows, groaning at the action. “That’s stuff is awful.” She held the empty cup out to him.

“Hopefully, you won’t have to take it much longer.” Offering a sympathetic smile, he took the cup, and refilled it with tea. He placed it on the tray.

Resisting the urge to stroke her hair, he settled for a hand on her shoulder.

Cheeks stuffed with food, she managed to grin at him.

The world would be a darker place without her. Pained by the thought, he gave her shoulder a gentle pat, reassured by the warmth beneath his hand.

He settled into the chair, content to watch her work through the mound of food.

It wasn’t long before she started to show signs of slowing. Several bites later she placed the half-eaten bread on the plate, pulled the napkin free, wiping at her hands and face. “I can’t eat anymore.”

Tossing the napkin on the tray, she leaned back against the pillows. Both hands wrapped around the tea cup.

“You made a good go of it.” He removed the tray, placing it on the nightstand.

She downed the tea in several gulps, handing him an empty cup.

“Would you like to lay down?”

“I want to see Elsa and Kristoff.”

“And you shall, later, but for now, it would be best to let them sleep. The last few days have been very, taxing, for the Queen, Master Kristoff, and yourself.”

Teal eyes narrowed, amusement danced within them. “You have a gift for understatement, Kai. Okay, I’ll let her sleep, for now.” She wagged a finger at him. “But, I want to see her, soon.” Her mouth opened with a wide yawn. She made a halfhearted attempt to cover it with a hand. “And Kristoff, I want to see him too.”

“And you will, I promise.” He removed several of the pillows, easing her down.

She snuggled into the blankets. “Kai?”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“Are they really okay?”

Catching the pleading eyes staring up at him, his mouth snapped shut on a gentle lie. “Master Kristoff’s wound is healing well. He was up and about when we arrived at the troll’s valley. He’ll not be ice harvesting for a while, but, by the spring, he should be tossing ice blocks with ease once more.”

“Good.” Anna’s eyes crinkled with a smile. “What about Elsa?”

Another lie hung on the tip of his tongue. Years of deflecting her questions had made it all too easy to attempt to deceive her. No more lies. “She is sleeping. Dr. Engen is keeping a close watch on her. He is certain the wound in her side is not fatal.”

“But?”

“But, she hasn’t woken since she passed out last night.”

“Passed out?” Anna started to raise.

He caught her shoulders, gently pushing her down. “She was exhausted, and Dr. Engen gave her a large dose of medicine.”

Anna settled into the pillows with a heavy sigh.

He watched her fight to stay focused. The medicine’s kicking in.

“There’s more, isn’t there?”

She always been more observant than people give her credit for. He felt a twinge of pride. “There is a chance, the disk caused her more harm than we realized.”

“What? No.” She fumbled with the blankets, unable to toss them aside.

“Anna.” Catching her hands, he sat on the bed. “Listen to me, there is nothing you can do for her tonight. Tomorrow, when you’re stronger, I’ll take you to see her, and Kristoff.”

“She needs me.”  

How many times had he seen that desperate look in her eyes? Heard the longing in her cries for an absent sister. More than a decade of unanswered cries. He shook off the thought.

“Yes, she does need you. Now more than ever.” He placed her hands under the blanket, pulling it up to cover her shoulders. “Which is why you need to rest. There will be much to do in the coming days. Your sister will need you to be strong.”

He felt her tense and braced himself for a struggle.

Whatever battle was raging within her surrendered to the effects of the medication. She relaxed, heavy eyelids fluttered, struggling to stay open.

“Promise, you’ll take me to see her in the morning.”

He placed a palm over his heart. “You have my word, Your Highness.”

Her eyes closed. “Good.”

Slipping deeper into sleep, her head rolled to one side.

Kai watched the steady rise and fall of the blanket, each breath a reassurance she was safe. Were it not for the bandages and bruises, one would might never guess she’d been in a life or death battle. No, there were other signs. Even in sleep there was a troubled crease to her brow.

One so young should not have to carry such burdens. He thought of Elsa looking so frail when he saw her last. The troll’s words haunted him. What if we lose her?

He’d watched her suffer through her parent’s lose, the toll it had taken. He shuddered at what Elsa’s lose would do to her.

No, we wouldn’t lose her. We can’t. Placing a kiss upon two fingertips, he touched them to Anna’s temple. “Sweet dreams, Princess.”

Moving to the chair, he pulled out a handkerchief, wiping at his eyes, before tucking it back into a jacket pocket.

Across the room, the grandfather clock began to chime the hour. It would be two more before Margit relieved him. Opening the book, he settled in. His attention remained divided between reading and the soft snores coming from the bed. It was a beautiful sound.

[theartifxce]

wassup akiiii, gutto morninggg

how are you doing today ? hope you had enough rest

ah, i noticed the prompt post, can i request this two ?

‘ try me. ’

‘ don’t push my buttons. ’

thank you, stay healthy akiiii

-Sincerely, dead-but-still living, Asami

OutofChara ; My insomnia's been pretty bad actually! I get a total of 3-4 hours a sleep a day. whooohooooo!!!!! Thank you for the best and thoughtful wishes!

Imma answer the first one as kid Johan cause...to be honest...he’s my favorite to write...AND I NEVER GET THE CHANCE TO WRITE HIM. If it is okay imma skip the second prompt cause I couldn’t come up with anything clever!!! 

‘ try me. ’

Anna was mad at him again. He couldn’t expect her to understand how Kinderheim 511 had changed him; how it worsened his distaste for physical touch and affection. So when he rejected her embrace without thinking, he had to pay the price for the angry tears that glossed in her beautiful marble eyes. She had given him the cold shoulder – not knowing that treating him like he did not exist was the most painful thing she could ever do. But Johan was unable to express his hurt outwardly – and that made the situation worse for him.  

When he found her sitting on the garden bench, he revealed from behind him a beautiful tulip as an apology. She was able to understand his gesture without the need for words. Her smile relieved him as she took the flower from his hand. But she still pouted when he went to sit beside her. “…Do you forgive me, Anna?” He asked softly, his eyes weighed to his hands that rested upon his knees. “Of course I do – you’re my brother! I can never stay mad at you.” She protested as she shared a glance in his direction. “But, why do you do this, Johan?” She continued and he would only freeze up as she carried on the conversation to areas he did not want to explore. 

“One moment you treat me like you hate me being around you and the next moment you’re so nice to me.” His eyebrows furrowed; because he knew the explanation would never be easy enough for her to swallow.  “I could never hate you, Anna…” His voice sounded defeated. That was when she fully turned his way and placed a soft hand on his pale one. “I know that – I want to know why you act like that sometimes.” She reassured but it did not make him feel better. 

“I don’t think you can understand, little sister.” He prompted his head and said while boldly looking into her eyes. That was when she mirrored his courage and said sternly, “Try me.”

@asfixiafloral

[nanshe-of-nina]

History Articles Masterpost

I was going the files on my external hard drive today and found a bunch of journal articles and dissertations I downloaded and decided to upload them for people who are interested. They're mostly about the Middle Ages, women's history, troubadours, the Soviet Union, and/or historical figures I find interesting because ... that's just how I roll. MEDIEVAL HISTORY — GENERAL

The Armagnac Faction: New Patterns of Political Violence in Late Medieval France – Timur R. Pollack-Lagushenko

Exemplar King and Doting Parent: Examining the Role of Fatherhood in the Life of Edward III, c.  1320-1377 – Nicole Harding

Harold of England: The Romantic Revision of the Last Anglo-Saxon King – María José Gómez

Jews and Cathari in Medieval France – John M. O’Brien

King Henry III and Saint Edward the Confessor: The Origins of the Cult – D.A. Carpenter

Memory and Collective Identity in Occitanie: The Cathars in History and Popular Culture – Emily McCaffrey

Murder, Mayhem, and a Very Small Penis: Motives for Revenge in the 1375 Murder of William Cantilupe – Frederik Pedersen

The “Sale” of Carcassonne to the Counts of Barcelona (1067-1070) and the Rise of the Trencavels – Fredric L. Cheyette

Stephen of Blois, Count of Mortain and Boulogne – Edmund King

MEDIEVAL HISTORY — WOMEN

The Anglo-Norman Card of Adela of Blois – Kimberly A. LoPrete

The Campaigns of Matilda of Tuscany – Valerie Eads

“Désirant tout, envahissant tout, ne connaissant le prix de rien”: Materiality in the Queenship of Isabeau of Bavaria – Yen M. Duong

Gender and the Language of Politics in Thirteenth‐Century Queens’ Letters – Anaïs Waag

Heavy Is the Head That Wears the Crown: Contemporary Reputations and Historical Representations of Queens Regent – Jessica Donovan

Isabeau of Bavaria, Queen of France (1385-1422): The Creation of an Historical Villainess – Rachel Gibbons

Negotiating Princely Power in Late Medieval France: Jeanne de Penthièvre, Duchess of Brittany (c.1325-1384) – Erika Maëlan Graham-Goering

The Piety, Power, and Patronage of the Latin Kingdom of Jerusalem’s Queen Melisende – Helen A. Gaudette

The Politics of Queen Philippa’s Mottoes: Five English Words – Melissa Furrow

The Reputation of the Queen and Public Opinion: The Case of Isabeau of Bavaria – Tracy Adams and Glenn Rechtschaffen

Studies in the History of Queen Melisende of Jerusalem – Hans Eberhard Mayer

Valentina Visconti, Charles VI, and the Politics of Witchcraft – Tracy Adams

The War of the Two Jeannes: Rulership in the Fourteenth Century – Katrin Sjursen

MEDIEVAL CULTURE

The Autumn of the Middle Ages by Johan Huizinga (review) – Max Staples

The Avatars of Orable-Guibourc from French chanson de geste to Italian romanzo cavalleresco. A Persistent Multiple Alterity – Philip E. Bennett, Krupina Zarker Morgan

Critical Analysis of the Roles of Women in the Lais of Marie de France – Jeri S. Guthrie

A Distant Mirror: The Calamitous 14th Century by Barbara W. Tuchman (review) – Bernard S. Bachrach

Managing Medieval Misogyny – M. Wendy Hennequin

The Minor Trobairitz: An Edition with Translation and Commentary – Deborah Perkal-Balinsky

Poetry of Exclusion: A Feminist Reading of Some Troubadour Lyrics – Simon Gaunt

Private Desire and Public Identity in Trobairitz Poetry – Laurel Amtower

Writing Beneath the Shadow of Heresy: The Historia Albigensis of Brother Pierre des Vaux-de-Cernay – Christopher M. Kurpiewski

BYZANTINE HISTORY AND RUSSIAN HISTORY — MEDIEVAL AND TSARIST

Attacking the Empire’s Achilles Heels: Railroads and Terrorism in Tsarist Russia – Frithjof Benjamin Schenk

Kinship and the Distribution of Power in Komnenian Byzantium – Peter Frankopan

Lamentation, History, and Female Authorship in Anna Komnene’s Alexiad – Leonora Neville

Muscovy and the Mongols : What's What and What's Maybe – David M. Goldfrank

The Revolutionary, His Wife, the Party, and the Sympathizer: The Role of Family Members and Party Supporters in the Release of Revolutionary Prisoners – Katy Turton

RUSSIAN HISTORY — SOVIET

Agency and Terror: Evdokimov and Mass Killing in Stalin’s Great Terror – S. Wheatcroft

Between Right and Left: G. Ia. Sokolnikov and the Development of the Soviet State, 1921-1929 – Samuel A. Oppenheim

Bukharin and the Social Study of Science – Constantine D. Skordoulis

Did Stalin Kill Kirov and Does It Matter? – Matt Lenoe

First Russian Biographies of Trotsky: A Review Article – Ian D. Thatcher

“A Grand Bloodbath”: The Western Reaction to Joseph Stalin’s 1930s Show Trials as Foreign Policy – Jeffrey L. Achterhof

The Legacy of Lunacharsky and Artistic Freedom in the USSR – Howard R. Holter

Lunacharsky, the “Poet-Commissar” – A. L. Tait

Lunacharsky and the Rescue of Soviet Theatre – John J. Von Szeliski

Maria Spiridonova’s “Last Testament” – Alexander Rabinowitch

Marketing for Socialism: Soviet Cosmetics in the 1930s – Olga Kravets and Özlem Sandikçi

On the “Letter of an Old Bolshevik” as an Historical Document – Robert C. Tucker

Patronage and Betrayal in the Post-Stalin Succession: The Case of Kruglov and Serov – Timothy K. Blauvelt

“Socialism of Science” versus “Socialism of Feelings”: Bogdanov and Lunacharsky – Georgii D. Gloveli, John Biggart

Stalin and the Politics of Kinship: Practices of Collective Punishment, 1920s-1940s – Golfo Alexopoulos

Stalin’s Falsification of History: The Case of the Brest-Litovsk Treaty – Sydney D. Bailey

The Terrorist and the Master Spy: The Political Partnership of Boris Savinkov and Sidney Reilly, 1918-25 – Richard B. Spence

Trotsky’s Interpretation of Stalin – Robert H. McNeal

Tukhachevsky in Leningrad: Military Politics and Exile, 1928-31 – David R. Stone

Zinoviev: Populist Leninist – Lars T. Lih

Zinoviev’s Revolutionary Tactics in 1917 – Myron W. Hedlin

HISTORY — MISC.

Dark Religion? Aztec Perspectives on Human Sacrifice – Ray Kerkhove

The Empress Elisabeth of Austria and Her “Untidy” Collection – Beth Muellner

Isotta Nogarola: The Beginning of Gender Equality in Europe – Luka Borsic and Ivana Skuhala Karasman

Love (and Marriage) Between Women – Alan Cameron

Pari Khan Khanum: A Masterful Safavid Princess – Shohreh Gholsorkhi

[snarkyoracle]

Best Drama *WINNER “Game of Thrones” (HBO) “Better Call Saul” (AMC) “Bodyguard” (Netflix) “Killing Eve” (AMC/BBC America) “Ozark” (Netflix) “Pose” (FX) “Succession” (HBO) “This Is Us” (NBC)

Lead Actress, Drama *WINNER Jodie Comer, “Killing Eve” Emilia Clarke, “Game of Thrones” Viola Davis, “How To Get Away With Murder” Laura Linney, “Ozark” Mandy Moore, “This Is Us” Sandra Oh, “Killing Eve” Robin Wright, “House of Cards”

Directing for a Drama Series *WINNER Jason Bateman, “Ozark” Lisa Brühlmann, “Killing Eve” David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, “Game of Thrones” (“The Iron Throne”) Adam McKay, “Succession” David Nutter, “Game of Thrones”(The Last of the Starks”) Daina Reid, “The Handmaid’s Tale” Miguel Sapochnik, “Game of Thrones” (“The Long Night”)

Lead Actor, Drama *WINNER Billy Porter, “Pose” Jason Bateman, “Ozark” Sterling K. Brown, “This Is Us” Kit Harington, “Game of Thrones” Bob Odenkirk, “Better Call Saul” Milo Ventimiglia, “This Is Us”

Supporting Actress, Drama *WINNER Julia Garner, “Ozark” Gwendoline Christie, “Game of Thrones” Lena Headey, “Game of Thrones” Fiona Shaw, “Killing Eve” Sophie Turner, “Game of Thrones” Maisie Williams, “Game of Thrones”

Writing for a Drama Series *WINNER Jesse Armstrong, “Succession” David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, “Game of Thrones” Emerald Fennell, “Killing Eve” Peter Gould and Thomas Schnauz, “Better Call Saul” Jed Mercurio, “Bodyguard” Bruce Miller and Kira Snyder, “The Handmaid’s Tale”

Supporting Actor, Drama *WINNER Peter Dinklage, “Game of Thrones” Alfie Allen, “Game Of Thrones” Jonathan Banks, “Better Call Saul” Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, “Game of Thrones” Giancarlo Esposito, “Better Call Saul” Michael Kelly, “House of Cards” Chris Sullivan, “This Is Us”

Variety Talk Series *WINNER “Last Week Tonight With John Oliver” (HBO) “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” (Comedy Central) “Full Frontal With Samantha Bee” (TBS) “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” (ABC) “Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS) “Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS)

Director for a Variety Series *WINNER Don Roy King, “Saturday Night Live” Alex Buono and Rhys Thomas, “Documentary Now!” Derek Waters, “Drunk History” Paul Pennolino, “Last Week Tonight With John Oliver” Jim Hoskinson, “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” Sacha Baron Cohen, Nathan Fielder, Daniel Gray Longino and Dan Mazer, “Who Is America?”

Variety Sketch Series *WINNER “Saturday Night Live” (NBC) “At Home With Amy Sedaris (TruTV) “Documentary Now!” (IFC) “Drunk History” (Comedy Central) “I Love You, America With Sarah Silverman” (Hulu) “Who Is America?” (Showtime)

Writing for a Variety Series *WINNER “Last Week Tonight With John Oliver” “Documentary Now!” “Full Frontal With Samantha Bee” “Late Night With Seth Meyers” “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” “Saturday Night Live”

Best Limited Series *WINNER “Chernobyl” (HBO) “Escape at Dannemora” (Showtime) “Fosse/Verdon” (FX) “Sharp Objects” (HBO) “When They See Us” (Netflix)

Lead Actress, Limited Series or TV Movie *WINNER Michelle Williams, “Fosse/Verdon” Amy Adams, “Sharp Objects” Patricia Arquette, “Escape at Dannemora” Aunjanue Ellis, “When They See Us” Joey King, “The Act” Niecy Nash, “When They See Us”

Television Movie *WINNER “Black Mirror: Bandersnatch” (Netflix) “Brexit” (HBO) “Deadwood: The Movie” (HBO) “King Lear” (Amazon Prime) “My Dinner With Hervé” (HBO)

Lead Actor, Limited Series or TV Movie *WINNER Jharrel Jerome, “When They See Us” Mahershala Ali, “True Detective” Benicio Del Toro, “Escape at Dannemora” Hugh Grant, “A Very English Scandal” Jared Harris, “Chernobyl” Sam Rockwell, “Fosse/Verdon”

SEE ALSO

Jharrel Jerome dedicates first Emmy win to ‘Exonerated Five’ Writing for a Limited Series, Movie or Drama *WINNER Craig Mazin, “Chernobyl” Russell T Davies, “A Very English Scandal” Ava DuVernay and Michael Starrbury, “When They See Us” Brett Johnson and Michael Tolkin, “Escape at Dannemora” (“Episode 7”) Brett Johnson, Michael Tolkin and Jerry Stahl, “Escape at Dannemora” (“Episode 6”) Steven Levenson and Joel Fields, “Fosse/Verdon”

Supporting Actor, Limited Series or TV Movie *WINNER Ben Whishaw, “A Very English Scandal” Asante Blackk, “When They See Us” Paul Dano, “Escape at Dannemora” John Leguizamo, “When They See Us” Stellan Skarsgård, “Chernobyl” Michael K. Williams, “When They See Us”

Directing for a Limited Series *WINNER Johan Renck, “Chernobyl” Ava DuVernay, “When They See Us” Thomas Kail, “Fosse/Verdon” (“Who’s Got the Pain”) Stephen Frears, “A Very English Scandal” Ben Stiller, “Escape at Dannemora” Jessica Yu, “Fosse/Verdon” (“Glory”)

Supporting Actress, Limited Series or TV Movie *WINNER Patricia Arquette, “The Act” Marsha Stephanie Blake, “When They See Us” Patricia Clarkson, “Sharp Objects” Vera Farmiga, “When They See Us” Margaret Qualley, “Fosse/Verdon” Emily Watson, “Chernobyl”

Reality Competition Program *WINNER “RuPaul’s Drag Race” (VH1) “The Amazing Race” (CBS) “American Ninja Warrior” (NBC) “Nailed It!” (Netflix) “Top Chef” (Bravo) “The Voice” (NBC)

Lead Actress, Comedy *WINNER Phoebe Waller-Bridge, “Fleabag” Christina Applegate, “Dead to Me” Rachel Brosnahan, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” Julia Louis-Dreyfus, “Veep” Natasha Lyonne, “Russian Doll” Catherine O’Hara, “Schitt’s Creek”

Lead Actor, Comedy *WINNER Bill Hader, “Barry” Anthony Anderson, “Black-ish” Don Cheadle, “Black Monday” Ted Danson, “The Good Place” Michael Douglas, “The Kominsky Method” Eugene Levy, “Schitt’s Creek”

Director for a Comedy Series *WINNER Harry Bradbeer, “Fleabag” Alec Berg, “Barry” (“The Audition”) Mark Cendrowski, “The Big Bang Theory” Bill Hader, “Barry” (“ronny/lily”) Daniel Palladino, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” (“We’re Going to the Catskills!”) Amy Sherman-Palladino, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” (“All Alone”)

Writing for a Comedy Series *WINNER Phoebe Waller-Bridge, “Fleabag” Alec Berg and Bill Hader, “Barry” Maya Erskine, Anna Konkle and Stacy Osei-Kuffour, “Pen15” Leslye Headland, Natasha Lyonne and Amy Poehler, “Russian Doll” (“Nothing in This World Is Easy”) David Mandel, “Veep” Josh Siegal and Dylan Morgan, “The Good Place” Allison Silverman, “Russian Doll” (“A Warm Body”)

Supporting Actress, Comedy *WINNER Alex Borstein, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” Sarah Goldberg, “Barry” Sian Clifford, “Fleabag” Olivia Colman, “Fleabag” Kate McKinnon, “Saturday Night Live” Betty Gilpin, “GLOW” Marin Hinkle, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” Anna Chlumsky, “Veep”

Supporting Actor, Comedy *WINNER Tony Shalhoub, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” Alan Arkin, “The Kominsky Method” Henry Winkler, “Barry” Tony Hale, “Veep” Anthony Carrigan, “Barry” Stephen Root, “Barry”

Guest Actor, Comedy *WINNER Luke Kirby, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” Matt Damon, “Saturday Night Live” Robert De Niro, “Saturday Night Live” Peter MacNicol, “Veep” John Mulaney, “Saturday Night Live” Adam Sandler, “Saturday Night Live” Rufus Sewell, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”

Guest Actress, Comedy *WINNER Jane Lynch, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” Sandra Oh, “Saturday Night Live” Maya Rudolph, “The Good Place” Kristin Scott Thomas, “Fleabag” Fiona Shaw, “Fleabag” Emma Thompson, “Saturday Night Live”

Best Comedy *WINNER “Fleabag” (Amazon Prime) “Barry” (HBO) “The Good Place” (NBC) “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” (Amazon Prime) “Russian Doll” (Netflix) “Schitt’s Creek” (Pop) “Veep” (HBO)

Guest Actor, Drama *WINNER Bradley Whitford, “The Handmaid’s Tale” Michael Angarano, “This Is Us” Ron Cephas Jones, “This Is Us” Michael McKean, “Better Call Saul” Kumail Nanjiani, “The Twilight Zone” Glynn Turman, “How To Get Away With Murder”

Guest Actress, Drama *WINNER Cherry Jones, “The Handmaid’s Tale” Laverne Cox, “Orange Is the New Black” Jessica Lange, “American Horror Story: Apocalypse” Phylicia Rashad, “This Is Us” Cicely Tyson, “How To Get Away With Murder” Carice van Houten, “Game of Thrones”

Structured Reality Program

*WINNER “Queer Eye” (Netflix) “Antiques Roadshow” (PBS) “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” (Food Network) “Shark Tank” (ABC) “Tidying Up With Marie Kondo” (Netflix) “Who Do You Think You Are?” (TLC)

Unstructured Reality Program *WINNER “United Shades Of America with Kamau Bell” (CNN) “Born This Way” (A&E) “Deadliest Catch” (Discovery Channel) “Life Below Zero” (National Geographic) “RuPaul’s Drag Race: Untucked” (VH1) “Somebody Feed Phil” (Netflix)

Reality Host *WINNER RuPaul, “RuPaul’s Drag Race” James Corden, “The World’s Best” Ellen DeGeneres, “Ellen’s Game of Games” Marie Kondo, “Tidying Up With Marie Kondo” Amy Poehler and Nick Offerman, “Making It”

Variety special (live) *WINNER “Live in Front of a Studio Audience: Norman Lear”(ABC) “The 76th Annual Golden Globe Awards” (NBC) “The 61st Grammy Awards” (CBS) “The Oscars” (ABC) “RENT” (FOX) “72nd Annual Tony Awards” (CBS)

Variety Special (taped) *WINNER “Carpool Karaoke: When Corden Met McCartney Live From Liverpool” (CBS) “Hannah Gadsby: Nanette” (Netflix) “Homecoming: A Film by Beyoncé” (Netflix) “Springsteen On Broadway” (Netflix) “Wanda Sykes: Not Normal” (Netflix)

Informational Series or Special *WINNER “Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown,” (CNN) “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee” (Netflix) “Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath” (A&E) “My Next Guest Needs No Introduction With David Letterman” (Netflix) “Surviving R. Kelly” (Lifetime)

Directing for a Reality Program *WINNER Hisham Abed, “Queer Eye” Patrick McManus, “American Ninja Warrior” Nick Murray, “RuPaul’s Drag Race” Ken Fuchs, “Shark Tank” Bertram van Munster, “The Amazing Race”

Best Short Form Comedy or Drama Series *WINNER “State of the Union” “An Emmy for Megan” “Hack Into Broad City” “It’s Bruno” “Special”

Outstanding Actor, Short Form Comedy or Drama Series *WINNER Chris O’Dowd, “State of the Union” Patton Oswalt, “An Emmy for Megan” Jimmy Fallon, “Beto Breaks the Internet” Ed Begley Jr., “Ctrl Alt Delete” Ryan O’Connell, “Special”

Outstanding Actress, Short Form Comedy or Drama Series *WINNER Rosamund Pike, “State of the Union” Ilana Glazer, “Hack Into Broad City” Abbi Jacobson, “Hack Into Broad City” Jessica Hecht, “Special” Punam Patel, “Special”

Short Form Nonfiction or Reality Series *WINNER “Creating Saturday Night Live” “Fosse/Verdon (Inside Look)” “Pose: Identity, Family, Community (Inside Look)” “RuPaul’s Drag Race’s: Out of the Closet” “RuPaul’s Drag Race’s: Portrait of a Queen”

Short Form Variety Series *WINNER “Carpool Karaoke: The Series” “Billy on the Street” “Gay of Thrones” “Honest Trailers” “The Randy Rainbow Show”

Directing for a Variety Special *WINNER Thom Zimny, “Springsteen on Broadway” Ben Winston, “Carpool Karaoke: When Corden Met McCartney Live From Liverpool” Beyoncé Knowles-Carter and Ed Burke, “Homecoming: A Film By Beyoncé” James Burrows and Andy Fisher, “Live in Front of a Studio Audience: Norman Lear’s ‘All in the Family’ and ‘The Jeffersons’” Glenn Weiss, “The Oscars”

Writing for a Variety Special *WINNER Hannah Gadsby, “Hannah Gadsby: Nanette” Adam Sandler, “Adam Sandler: 100% Fresh” Amy Schumer, “Amy Schumer: Growing” Matt Roberts, “Carpool Karaoke: When Corden Met McCartney Live From Liverpool” Beyoncé Knowles-Carter, “Homecoming: A Film By Beyoncé” Wanda Sykes, “Wanda Sykes: Not Normal”

The complete list of 2019 Emmy winners Best Drama *WINNER “Game of Thrones” (HBO) “Better Call Saul” (AMC) “Bodyguard” (Netflix) “Killing Eve” (AMC/BBC America)

[cinema-tv-etc]

A Viewer's Guide to The White Crow, Ralph Fiennes' Rudolf Nureyev Biopic    

I caught a preview screening of The White Crow earlier this week at New York City's 92Y, and I have to say: Even with a solid grasp of dance history and a smattering of film studies knowledge, I had some questions when the credits rolled. The Ralph Fiennes–directed Rudolf Nureyev biopic dramatizes the events leading up to the ballet star's famous defection from the Soviet Union, touching on incidents from his childhood and his years at the Leningrad Choreographic School.

The meaning of the film's enigmatic title, The White Crow, is explained straightaway. It's a Russian term for someone "unusual, extraordinary, not like others, an outsider." (Aside: Has anyone else noticed Hollywood's tendency to name ballet-adjacent movies with a color and a type of bird? Black Swan, Red Sparrow, The White Crow...)

The film unfolds across three intertwined timelines

The triple-timeline structure utilized by Fiennes and screenwriter David Hare (who is admittedly fond of the device) means that we as a viewer have to work a bit harder to piece together what's happening. There are three different time periods in play: Nureyev's childhood, which stretches from his birth on a train in 1938 through his mother dropping him off at his first ballet school; the Leningrad years, 1955–61; and the weeks in Paris leading up to his defection on June 16, 1961.

Even as the film intertwines the three strands, each one unfolds chronologically (with the exception of the bookended opening scene, which features the interrogation of Alexander Pushkin, played by Fiennes, after Nureyev's defection).

The triple-timeline structure utilized by Fiennes and screenwriter David Hare (who is admittedly fond of the device) means that we as a viewer have to work a bit harder to piece together what's happening. There are three different time periods in play: Nureyev's childhood, which stretches from his birth on a train in 1938 through his mother dropping him off at his first ballet school; the Leningrad years, 1955–61; and the weeks in Paris leading up to his defection on June 16, 1961.

Even as the film intertwines the three strands, each one unfolds chronologically (with the exception of the bookended opening scene, which features the interrogation of Alexander Pushkin, played by Fiennes, after Nureyev's defection).

Who was Alexander Pushkin? A black and white photograph of a young Rudolf Nureyev and his teacher, Alexander Pushkin, here smiling and wearing a suit and tie. Rudolf Nureyev with Alexander Pushkin

Fiennes pulled double duty on the film, not only directing but also playing legendary ballet teacher Alexander Pushkin (not to be confused with the famed Russian writer). As a teacher at the Leningrad Choreographic School (as the Vaganova Ballet Academy was then known), Pushkin shaped the leading male dancers of the Kirov for decades—and Nureyev wasn't his only famous student. Mikhail Baryshnikov, who, like Nureyev, ultimately defected from the Soviet Union (in 1974), also trained under the master teacher. "This man made me as a dancer," Baryshnikov once said.

In a scene from The White Crow, Rudolf Nureyev stands at attention in a ballet uniform as his teacher, Alexander Pushkin, considers him. Behind them is a mirror, in which other male ballet students are standing at attention at the barre and an accompanist awaits instructions at his piano.

Nureyev (Ivenko) joins the class taught by Alexander Pushkin (Ralph Fiennes) in The White Crow.

Fiennes' depiction of Pushkin's approach aligns with his students' accounts. It was "a delicate way of teaching," Fiennes said at the screening, in which Pushkin would suggest ideas or simply ask a dancer to stop and repeat what they'd done to allow them to find and fix their own errors. Baryshnikov described Pushkin as "a very quiet man. A father figure, to us."

If the dance sequences look great (which mostly, they do), it's because of a former Royal Ballet star. In The White Crow, Rudolf Nureyev, costumed in a gold costume and tights, prepares to turn during a performance.

"I don't have any interest in ballet," Fiennes said at the screening, going on to say that he was drawn to the story by Nureyev's "ferocious sense of destiny" rather than his dancing. "I'm way out of my comfort zone," he added. Though he watched hours of archival footage of Nureyev's performances in preparation for filming, the director found himself frustrated by the way all of the footage only used wide angles to show the full body, and was eager to play with camera angles and close-ups during The White Crow's dance sequences.

However, Johan Kobborg, who was brought onto the film as both dance consultant and choreographer, convinced him that the scenes needed to be shot to show the dancers' full bodies, and that the camera should respect the "front" of the choreography. "The dancers are very sensitive to how they're being filmed," Fiennes said. "Johan Kobborg said to me, 'Well, it's okay, but it looks ugly to me because I'm showing you a specific angle.' " They ultimately reshot several of the dance sequences.

Who is the older ballerina who requests Nureyev as her partner? In the White Crow, Natalia Dudinskaya, an older, blonde ballerina, and Rudolf Nureyev rehearse in the studio. Both wear practice clothes and are posed in releve, arms in fourth position.

Natalia Dudinskaya (Anna Urban, née Polikarpova) and Nureyev (Ivenko) rehearse in a still from The White Crow.

Unless you just so happen to already know this key bit of Nureyev's Kirov career, it's unfortunately all too easy to miss this detail. When Nureyev graduated from the Leningrad Choreographic School, he got multiple contract offers but ultimately went to the Kirov, where he made his debut dancing opposite star ballerina Natalia Dudinskaya. She was in her late 40s and within a couple years of her official retirement; Nureyev was a 21-year-old fresh out of the academy.

In The White Crow, Nureyev asks Dudinskaya (portrayed by Anna Urban, née Polikarpova) why she requested to dance with him. "I'll make you look talented, you'll make me look young," is her wry reply. (We couldn't help but think that this comment was also meant as a nod to Nureyev's later famed partnership with Dame Margot Fonteyn.)

Yes, the actor playing Nureyev is a real dancer. As quickly becomes obvious during the film's dance sequences, the actor playing Nureyev is also an accomplished ballet dancer. His name is Oleg Ivenko, and he's a leading dancer at the Musa Dzhalil Tatar State Academic Opera and Ballet Theatre Company. Much of Nureyev's technical prowess and pyrotechnics are considered par for the course for today's male dancers, but we were quite impressed by Ivenko's attention to detail—he even managed to recreate Nureyev's distinctive arabesque line. He might not have quite managed the peculiar alchemy that made Nureyev such an explosive performer, (who could?) but he did capture the famed dancer's "mischievous hauteur" (as Fiennes put it) in his interactions with the other characters.

In fact, there are lots of dancers playing dancers. In addition to Ivenko and Urban (who enjoyed an extensive career at Hamburg Ballet and now teaches at the company's affiliated school), the cast also includes Sergei Polunin (before his most recent spate of social media nastiness), Bolshoi soloist Anastasia Meskova and Belgrade National Theater first soloist Margaryta Cheremukhina.

Did Nureyev really have an affair with his teacher's wife? There are rumors that Nureyev and Xenia, Pushkin's wife, herself a former dancer, had an affair after the Pushkins invited the young Rudi to live with them. The affair is shown in the film, and while Hare is convinced that they did, it's impossible to prove or disprove.

It is worth noting that similar rumors dogged Nureyev's friendship with Fonteyn, and there is some strangeness in the fact that the film is more preoccupied with this alleged affair than it is with its nods to Nureyev's burgeoning awareness of his homosexuality. The film does seem to assert, however, that the realization of his own sexual orientation may have been one motivation for Nureyev to leave his situation with the Pushkins.

"Are you always this rude?" Clara Saint (Adèle Exarchopoulos), the French socialite who helped orchestrate Nureyev's defection, asks him this question in the film. The answer: quite often, yes, as demonstrated in multiple scenes in the film, and worse. Nureyev had a notorious temper—Dame Beryl Grey, who overlapped with him at The Royal Ballet, made headlines two years ago when her memoir detailed instances of the dancer behaving threateningly or violently toward dancers who displeased him. On the flip side, he could be incredibly charming and sweet—like everyone else, Nureyev contained multitudes.

Easter egg: Natalia Makarova's name appears on a casting sheet. It's a there-and-gone moment near the beginning of the film: Nureyev checks the opening night casting sheet in Paris to find his name not listed. But a few lines down? There's Natalia Makarova. Though she sadly does not appear as a character in the film, we love that the filmmakers included a nod to the ballerina—especially since she defected nearly a decade after Nureyev and landed at American Ballet Theatre.

https://www.dancemagazine.com/white-crow-nureyev-biopic-guide-2635456679.html?rebelltitem=1#rebelltitem1

[randomnotesofmyown]

Urasawa’s Monster (55-56)

Episode 55 - (Or, can I trust you?) 

Temma went into a bar where Eva frequented and asked for her address, then left taking away someone else's coat.

He called the hotel she stayed at, the receptionist put him through Eva's room. No answer. Temma then asked for Eva's room number and got to that in person.

Reichwein and Vardaman in a conversation, during which the counselor asked if the lawyer believed in Temma.

Vardaman's decision to continue representing Temma made his firm a hot target for interviews by reporters. And Lunge even entered his office waiting for him.

Temma went to Eva's room and found that she was no longer there.

Vardaman and Lunge in a conversation. After telling the inspector he had no information on Temma's escape, the lawyer said he had no time to socialize and asked Lunge to leave. Lunge, ignoring Vardaman’s request that he leave, took out that nameless monster picture book and talked about its author, who used many pen names, one of those, Klaus Poppe, was a German name. And Lunge's investigation of that name led him to a discovery that Vardaman's father was an acquaintance of Poppe.

Lunge went on to tell Vardaman his discovery: Poppe would hold meetings with Vardaman's father at the Red Rose Mansion instead of his other usual meeting places, and Poppe used that mansion under the name Franz Bonaparte, a big boss in the secret police force of Czechoslovakia.

Taking Lunge's words as an implication that his father was a spy, Vardaman became agitated. Lunge reiterated that he only wanted to know about Franz Bonaparte, and left.

Vardaman got a call from his wife and was going to pick her up. As the lawyer started his car, Temma entered, pointing a gun at Vardaman and demanded to know where he took Eva and what they had done to her.

Clueless, Vardaman asked Temma what he meant by "you guys". Temma said he knew their plan to kill Eva, he and Baul worked together, and Baul was the person he shot in Munich.

Vardaman stopped the car, and asked if he could trust Temma, he then talked about his father, who was imprisoned for spy charges, got vindicated after he passed away, and turned out to really have been a spy. He found out about that while studying in college. In his father's notebook was all the details that proved his father was a spy, and he was a son of a spy. The details included coded text, records of communication with the Czechoslovakia secret police, and information of people like Franz Bonaparte...

"Did he mention the Red Rose Mansion?" Temma asked.

Temma then guessed Roberto must have wanted the notebook.

Vardaman was ransacked. There was a letter addressed to Temma, asking him to go to the Red Rose Mansion. And Vardaman found the notebook safe inside the sound disc cover and passed it to Temma, saying he no longer needed it.

Outside his home, Vardaman asked if he could trust Temma. The doctor replied, "You shouldn't trust people..."

And he walked away with heavy steps. Vardaman said to himself that he wanted to believe Temma.

Vardaman arrived at the hospital, cuddled his baby and left the hospital with his wife.

End of episode 55

Episode 56 - the never ending journey (Or, blending dark fairy tales with real life)

Temma started reading the notebook. He hitch-hiked a truck and said he wanted to go to Czech border, and the driver agreed to take him. Then he handed Temma a hamburger, saying if he didn't eat it, he wouldn't make it through the long journey. Temma thought to himself, "I need to end this journey already..."

Vardaman told Reichwein he would go to the Red Rose Mansion, and the two decided to get there together.

Nina remained in Prague, still trying to recover the suppressed memories. She walked around, saw a weather vane. Wind blew. 

And she found her way to the Red Rose Mansion.

Together with Dieter, who tagged along, Nina went inside the mansion.

They walked to the room behind that dismantled wall, she pushed the door open. The memory of people died in that room returned.

Vividly.

Nina fainted.

A puppet show on the street. A protagonist killed a demon. No viewer was interested in that show. The man got home, and asked how Nina felt today.

After some casual talks, the man, Mr. Lipsky, said it was time he went to work. Nina said there was something she meant to ask him. Three months ago after she collapsed in the mansion, he found her and took her to a hospital. Why was he there?

Lipsky muttered something along the line he went there to get ideas for his puppet shows and then left.

After work, Lipsky was in his room making a new puppet. Nina knocked and walked in. She asked Lipsky what his puppet show was about.

"It's the story of a devil. A devil who leaves to find the dragon that threatens to destroy this world but almost dies in the middle of his journey. A young man passing by saves his life, though. When the young man learns the true identity of the one he saved, he goes after the devil. And at the end of his journey, the young man finds the devil, and with a knife in his hand, slays the devil."

Nina voiced her thoughts about what she would do and that she wouldn't let him do that. As a human, one would save the devil, she said.

Lipsky said he thought the story would be deemed interesting by him. The author of the picture books on his shelf.

Lipsky mentioned the name Franz Bonaparte and Nina had a flashback:

Lipsky continued talking. He mentioned the book readings at the mansion. Bonaparte would read a book to children, like, "'A deal! Let's make a deal!' said the devil. 'No! Absolutely not!' said the man with big eyes. 'Yes! Let's make a deal!' said the man with a big mouth. The man with a big mouth's yard became a flower garden. The man with big eyes became destitute and starved. The man with a big mouth was cheerful every day. He was full from all his ripened fruit. That is why he did not notice his flower garden was wilting away. In the garden where no flower would ever bloom again, the man with a big mouth cried and muttered, 'I should never have made a deal with the devil.' The man with big eyes was so hungry that he thought he would die. Shedding tears, he muttered, 'I should have made a deal with the devil.' 'A deal! Let's make a deal!' said the devil. --The man with big eyes, the man with a big mouth, by Jakub Farobek."

The book readings took place every Friday, Lipsky went on. And after finished reading a book to the children gathered there, Bonaparte would ask them if they understood the meaning of the story.

After the children got it, Bonaparte would take out another book, a book titled The God of Peace by Klaus Poppe, and said "Let's read this next".

Johan got inside the mansion and went into that room, saying to himself that all the memories came together and there he disposed of his disguise as Anna.

Lipsky continued reading The God of Peace. "The God of Peace is always busy. He is too busy to look in a mirror, and blows his horn every day. The God of Peace's horn makes everyone happy. The God of Peace is always busy. He is too busy to look in a mirror and scatter magical water. The magical water creates green mountains, ripens crops, and makes flower gardens grow. The God of Peace is always busy. He is too busy to look in a mirror, and gives everyone a name. 'Your name is Otto.' 'Your name is Hans.' 'Your name is Thomas' 'Your name is Johan.' Johan gave his hat to the god as a gift in return. The god was very happy. Because he wanted to see himself wearing the hat, he stood in front of a mirror for the first time. However, what he saw in the mirror was a devil. The devil spoke to him. 'I am you, and you are me.' 'Oh no! No one can live in peace with a devil like this! What should I do? What should I do?' So the troubled God..."

"I figured that out."

In a turtleneck (he wore one when he killed Junkers and again when Richard Braun died), Johan stood in front of the oil painting of his mother and said, "We finally meet. I'm home. Welcome back. It's me, mother. I don't think even you could have told us apart, mother. I am her, and she is me. I am you, and you are me. I understand everything now. Where we came from, and where we are heading. The weather outside is wonderful, mother."

He poured gasoline onto the floor, and lit a match. 

Fire started. He left the mansion.

Nina replied to Lipsky's question. "I understood. The god...pointed the gun at his forehead!"

Flashback of Johan pointing at his forehead.

"Shoot me."

End of episode 56.

Comment. Can't really think of anything to comment on episode 55, some rough thoughts for episode 56 though.

Johan deemed himself not worthy of living, and became so fixated with this thought that he would burn down the places he once was, and kill the people who knew him, except Anna and Dr. Temma.

And it seemed that his way of thinking was heavily influenced by the picture books Bonaparte read to him. Questions for this 56th episode, what was the relationship between Johan's mother and Bonaparte? What made her decide to flee? Did she find those dark fairy tales too creepy and she wanted her children free from that world view?

For some reasons, this character of Johan increasingly reminds me of the Andreas Lubitz, the pilot who committed suicide by crashing a plane into a mountain, taking with him the lives of 144 passengers and 6 crew members.