#This is why I have like 5 bajillion hours in this game

[ragnar0c]

I open up EO3 every once and a while just to look at my blorbos

I wasn’t kidding about Enid’s busted ass stats (They are the equivalent of about 3 retires I think)

Even without the stacking medals, their attack is around 670 which is higher than Alope's and Tank's.

It's worse bc ... I don't really use them for offense. I only maxed out fist skills so they can try to land curse or paralysis. (Instead of buffing all the time) You know,, to pair with Hana's maxed wolf howl. Alope and Tank maxed Crushing blow and Smoke Bomb... But ailments don't always last long... so Enid got some!

I... can't help but imagine... Enid breathing heavily behind Tank and Alope who get the limelight. Enid is one Gladiator/Zodiac subclass from killing everyone. But... it's not like they can't now.

[dulce-pjm]

30 Questions Tag Game

tagged by @softbobamilktae​ my beloved <3333333

name/nickname: call me naomi !! 

star sign: capricorn

height: 5′8″ (and getting closer to chim every day muhaha)

birthday: january 15!

favorite band: ummm bts, txt, twice, every day lol (and like any musical theatre cast ever lol)

time: 8:35 pm 

favorite solo artist: taeyeon, baekhyun, agust d, jhope, rm 

song stuck in your head: signal by twice :))

last movie you watched: the princess diaries !! iconic

free space!: hmmmm i’m giving you a big hug can you feel it !!!!

last show: the great british bake off (paul f*cking hollywood i hate him but i love the show)

when i created this blog: february 2021 (i think?)

what i post: bts fics and weird not quite shitposts?

last thing i googled: huening kai side profile (i was texting a friend it was relevant uh yeah)

other blogs: @naomis-library​ for fic recs !

do i get asks?: sometimes!! and i treasure every single one you guys make my day <3

why i chose my url?: @kidcoredreamz came up with it !! i explained a bit in this tag game

following: 43 blogs :)

followers: more than i deserve !!!

average hours of sleep: um like  5-7? but then i’ll make up for it once a week and sleep like 10 hours lol

lucky number: hmm 7, 10, 15

what am i wearing?: a hoodie and pajama shorts lol (i was dressed cute earlier though haha)

dream job: oh gosh i don’t know still figuring that out lol

favorite food: just one ????? probably my grandma’s cavatelli (alternatively cold pad thai i don’t know i don’t know)

tea or coffee: oh my gosh don’t make me choose >.< i guess tea bc it won’t give me the jitters?

nationality: american 

favorite song: seesaw !!!

top three fictional universes i would like to live in: ugh okay before i decide this is so annoying bc to me my motivation is more the characters and friendships and relationships but i feel like this has to purely like the universe itself so i’m gonna do that and probably explain why for each lol (but also all the worlds seem so scary if you aren’t connected right ahhh !!)

1. harry potter obvs i have always wanted to be a wandmaker !!! i have a fic in the works (she says, having like a bajillion wips and ideas lol) kinda about that but i just think it’s such a cool career and it sounds so rewarding !!! i also just love kids and helping people so i think i’d love it someone pls hire me as a wandmaker 

2. the mcu i guess ??? but i’d spend most of my time wandering nyc looking for a radioactive spider LOL having superpowers is the actual fun part (idk if i wanna be an avenger though that’s a lot of responsibility !!! i like the friendly neighborhood role a lot more i’ll take over for peter parker lol)

3. steven universe !!!! i really hope i could be involved with the gems but like even if not the whole show makes every scene and landscape and location look so gorgeous !!!! i’d love to explore that world if i could, but i’d also be just as content to hang with sadie at the donut shop <3 (but i’d very much like to move in with lapis and peridot at the farm LOL)

okay i went way too in depth with the last question but it was important and my answers would be different if i could like choose my life and friends and stuff haha (i ramble a bit more in the tags lol)

anyway~~~ i’ll tag @hyungieyoongi (sorry if you’ve done it already) and @kidcoredreamz my love <33

[scottymcgeesterwrites]

Final Fantasy XV Review

Year: 2016

Original Platform: PlayStation 4

Also available on: PC (Steam), XBox One

Version I Played: PlayStation 4

Here we go. The final Final Fantasy review of the main single-player games. I just want to say, first off, we’ve been waiting for this game since 2006. It took them ten damn years to finally release this game. I clearly remember the teaser trailer they released when it was called Final Fantasy XIII Versus, and my next-door neighbor and I were so hyped for this game when we were freaking teenagers. After years of delays, Square Enix revamped it into Final Fantasy XV.

Did it live up to the wait? Well, read and find out.

Synopsis:

Noctis Lucis Caelum is the heir to the throne of the kingdom of Lucis. On his birthday, he sets off with his three best friends and bodyguards (Ignis, Prompto, Gladio) to marry his betrothed, Lunafreya. The marriage is supposed to be a political one, though Noct and Lunafreya had grown up together and become fond of each other. But peace turns to war as the empire of Niflheim betrays Insomnia and invades. Noct, now on the run, has to reclaim his right to the throne by collecting the necessary family heirlooms which will banish the darkness.  

Gameplay:

Open-world Final Fantasy.

That is the big selling point for this game. 

A MASSIVE step up from Final Fantasy XIII’s gameplay, Final Fantasy XV has you roaming around and attacking enemies on the field in real time. The battle system returns to something slightly more conventional by having you cast spells and use items. It seems like this is what Square really intended to do after Final Fantasy XII. Looking back, Final Fantasy XIII feels like some prototype before Final Fantasy XII, so it really becomes apparent that Final Fantasy XIII’s gameplay comes off as a huge mistake.

This game’s major’s strength comes from the player engaging with a massive world. You camp. You take on hunts. You take on a bajillion sidequests. You run across the world. You drive across the world. You can ride a chocobo across the world.

However, the dip in the gameplay comes from how easily accessible these sidequests are. The map tells you exactly where you go 24/7. I started to have an existential crisis around my 50th sidequest in a row. Why am I doing this? What’s the point? I go here to kill a thing, or go there to help someone by giving a potion or taking a picture. You start to realize that a good bulk of sidequests are either hunting daemons or fetching an item. You start to deconstruct the meaning of playing a video game as you think to yourself, “Why do I play video games?” while also thinking “But wait, one more and then I swear I’m done.”.

I get it, not everyone has the time nowadays to figure out a huge game like this. I get it, video games are now marketed to everyone for ease. At the same time, I personally love a good challenge. I mean, I’m the guy who has Dark Souls as one of his favorite video games of all time, so my opinion on the matter might definitely be skewered compared to most. I generally want to feel like I actually figured something out by myself rather than following a tracker on the screen and walking from task to task and then saying, “Okay done. Next.”.

Too much of that and playing a video game starts to feel like a 9 to 5 job to me. This game is great to play during quarantine, but at one point I saw playing this game as feeling like an actual job. Wake up, eat breakfast, time to hunt some daemons.

This is the growing conflict some people have with story-driven games versus open-world games. I see the argument focused too much on words like “linear”, but in reality we should be talking about “automation”. If a video game is too automated, then did you really play a video game? Or did you watch a movie that allows you to control the camera angle? At first, the idea of driving around an open-world Final Fantasy game sounds amazing. Isn’t that what fans always dreamed of? In reality, you don’t really drive around at your leisure. Even when you have the car set to “manual”, you can’t speed up, drive off-road, or pull off a sick drift like in The Fast and the Furious. Your car still automatically stays on the road wherever you’re going. It’s not so much “manual” as it is “I can control where and when to stop and which road to take”. Riding chocobos at your leisure is much more fun, but becomes increasingly impractical as you can just fast-travel to necessary locations in your car.

The sights and sounds of the fictional world of Eos are enough to gloss over these shortcomings though. It IS still fun to roam around and fight monsters and save the day. My bottom line is, “You don’t think about just how mindless the tasks are unless you keep playing for many days straight.”. And I poured hours into this game day after day because of the 2020 pandemic quarantine.

Graphics:

Obviously the best thus far. However, in-game facial expressions on the NPCs are still quite stilted and awkward. This game made me realize that we’ve yet to jump a hurdle when it comes to in-game graphics. The game is so polished but there are still limitations when it comes to giving the characters natural movements, both in body and lips. So an NPC could be shouting “WOW THAT’S AMAZING!” but have a straight face jumping up and down, despite the fact that the character model is the most realistic we’ve created so far in a video game. I was looking back at in-game cutscenes of Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, and found it ironic that they can portray body movements so much better, but that’s the trade-off. Less graphics power to portray realistic bodies, but the graphics power can then be allocated to focus on natural movements. Nowadays, all the graphics power is focused on making things look good, but that hardly leaves room for making things move naturally.

Story:

After the overly-complicated plotline of Final Fantasy XIII, Final Fantasy XV feels like a breath of fresh air. On the surface, it’s a straightforward tale of a boy seeking to become a king after his father is brutally murdered by enemy forces. The bromance between the young king and his bodyguards is endearing. Each character feels distinct and genuinely makes you laugh. The setup sounds like prime real estate for an emotionally charged storyline.

Unfortunately, it falls apart somewhere around the last quarter. What should have been a strong and straightforward story turned into a rushed, hasty mess by the final act.

The story started SO strong, they practically had it in the bag, but then it became apparent that many important elements were glossed over - especially when it came to the main villain. I realized that some things required me to read between the lines, or even were only explained in character dossiers in the archive section of the menu. Supposedly, the movie Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV explains more, but do you really expect me to have to watch a separate movie to understand the actual game? The final quarter of the story feels like someone was trying to finish NaNoWriMo, realized they were running out of time, and quickly jumped from scene to scene to reach that 50k word goal. The ten-year time-skip is a joke. The final chapter is sorely disappointing.

The ending was appropriate though, and even beautiful. However, the overall story didn’t have the necessary emotional weight to really make me feel anything. I thought to myself, “I feel like I should be tearing up but instead I feel nothing.”. Even Final Fantasy XII, which lacked a romance, had me swelling up at the end. Final Fantasy XV didn’t make me swell up until literally the last few seconds of the post-credits scene.

People complained about the advertising (Coleman, Cup Noodles) but that didn’t bother me.

What does bother me is the lack of variety in the main cast, and in numerous ways. There were so many interesting side characters that didn’t receive much screen time, or use at all in the story. The strong focus on only the four male leads made it a sausagefest. I was craving more out of Aranea Highwind and Iris Amicitia. They are important but don’t get any screen time at all in the final chapter, nor do we ever hear from them ever again after the time-skip. Aranea Highwind was such a cool character, but once again ends up being wasted potential.

The main cast lacked distinctive styles. When I first saw the main cast, I had a hard time telling them apart. They looked like a k-pop band. Compare the main cast of Final Fantasy XV to literally any other Final Fantasy main cast and you can immediately spot the difference.

The four main leads do have distinct personalities, and I quite loved hearing their comments and banter. It felt realistic, but at times it became ridiculous. I rolled my eyes when Prompto would say things like, “Hashtag sorry not sorry.” That was a bit too on the nose, and came off as Square trying to pander to the current generation.

But what really rubbed me the wrong way is the incredible lack of non-white characters in the entire game. Lestallum feels so wrong to me as a Hispanic. Lestallum is supposed to be modeled after Havana, Cuba.

Its music, its buildings, its activities. It has a tropical climate, and yet every single denizen is pale white. Every. Single. One. I am not exaggerating. It feels so absolutely wrong walking around that city and not seeing anyone with the slightest shade of brown. This isn’t some uncalled-for SJW rant, it’s a simple fact. Tropical climates breed tanner skins. My brain naturally did a double-take when seeing the all-white population, saying, “Hmmm, something’s wrong here.”. For God’s sake, Final Fantasy XII, made over a decade earlier, did a better job at displaying the various nuances in skin tones, and that was on the PlayStation 2! Final Fantasy X, even older, seemed to properly portray tropical beach populations, inspired by the Philippines, with the character Wakka.

I noticed that they really took the time to incorporate elements from virtually every single Final Fantasy game. Aside from the crystals, the modern settings, and other obvious elements, four male leads are reminiscent of Final Fantasy III, the sinister chancellor hearkens back to Kefka from Final Fantasy VI, the enemy Yojimbo resembles Final Fantasy X’s version of Yojimbo, a certain boss battle reminded me of Cid Raines from Final Fantasy XIII.

Also, there’s Dino. Quite possibly the most annoying Final Fantasy NPC ever.

The overly obnoxious Italian stereotype made me want to punch his face, and also took me out of the experience of the fictional world. Every time you spoke with him he's all like "HEY HOW YOU DOIN WELCOME TO OLIVE GARDEN YOU TALKIN TO ME BADA BING BADA BOOM SPICY PIECE OF MEATBALL CAPISCE? AMIRITE??"

Square seemed to treat this game as a milestone in the series, alluding to everything the series ever did. It’s a shame that the story itself wasn’t quite up to snuff to be held in such regard.

Music:           

The game’s major lyrical song is copyrighted, which is a first for a Final Fantasy game. It makes sense why they chose the song “Stand by Me”, both in literal and figurative terms of the story.             

The score to this game is quite fantastic. The series has its first female composer, Yoko Shimomura. I have absolutely no complaints about the music. Nobuo Uematsu didn’t even pop into my head during the entire game. It’s the first time since Uematsu’s departure that I felt immersed in the score. The motifs are distinct and strong. The battle music is vibrant and an orchestral orgasm to listen to.    

Notable Theme:            

“Somnus”  

The main theme of the game. It plays right away in the main menu. I love how it is incorporated into the rest of the score, and my brain kept wanting to hear it to its completion.   

Direct Sequel?           

Nope. However, there is downloadable content that fills in the gap of events within the game. Supposedly, Final Fantasy XV is loosely connected to Final Fantasy XIII and Final Fantasy Type-O, all sharing common themes and possibly set in the same universe. You can also watch the prequel movie, Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV.

Did it Live up to the Hype?           

Eh.           

Yes, and no.            

It was cool to play around, but the rest is a flaccid attempt at being a notable entry in the series “for fans and first-timers”, as the words proudly display every time you load the game. It’s not the worst in the series, but certainly not the best. It’s somewhere in the mid-to-low tier.

[claitea]

may i please see the 3 hour seminar on dragalia lost i too am starving for content

OH GOD. I. UH. I DID NOT EXPECT ANYONE TO ACTUALLY ASK I CANT ACTUALLY RAMBLE ABOUT ANYTHING I LIKE FOR EVEN A MINUTE ESPECIALLY WHEN ASKED OUT OF THE BLUE YEVDIVDJFBFK

i'm just gonna. spill every thought i have about dragalia the second it pops into my head for as long as i am able bc i really do love talking about this game and i WILL shove it in people's faces

so. dragalia lost. uh. i'm already clueless about what to say

for the 99.9% of people who didnt follow me for dl, its a mobile gacha game. you play as euden, a scion to the alberian throne, who possesses dragonblood, a special power inherited that allows him to make pacts with dragons and shapeshift into them. for a free gacha game its really, really good?? good rates, lots of free stuff, SO MUCH INGAME CONTENT, FLAWLESS soundtrack, ten bajillion characters, and dragons as the title implies and that automatically makes the game a thousand times better.

when i say good rates i mean GOOD like. every gala dragalia banner i swear i get like 2-3 five stars every second tenfold. and the safety net of you being able to pick a certain five star after 300 rolls... aauaghh this is why i love dragalia way more than idk ge/nshin which is so awfully frustrating by comparison or pok/emon masters which i quit after like two months. i have almost every character i want and got them pretty easily! (despite these good rates i still dont have summer norwin COME HOME YOU--)

there's so much lore and stories to look at when you're not playing! all the events are so so good, my favorites are forgetten truths, accursed archives and caged desire! (caged desire was the per/sona 5 crossover event which i am. still reeling from. out of all the crossovers to happen with this little obscure gacha game it was P5?? AND SO WELL WRITTEN?? AND NOW I CAN PLAY AS THE JOKER REN AMAMIYA AKIRA KURUSU LIKE HE IS IN MY PARTY STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO ALBERIUS CLEO AND IEYASU RIGHT NOW AS WE SPEAK--) every character comes with their own 20 minuteish story which i love and then theres also so much wyrmprint/weapon flavor text to read which i love even MORE, i cannot EMPHASIZE HOW MUCH I LOVE FLAVOR TEXT!! the wyrmprint art is also top quality,, off the top of my head prints like valiant crown and the high dragon res set are GORGEOUS. they stopped doing it recently iirc but a few early wyrmprints and stuff would hint at other things? like dueling dancers featured orsem before orsem was even released, there was a mention of the syndicate in another print but they weren't put into a playable story until the scars of the syndicate event in the game's second year. it was so neat how they used to do that can they do that again please.... with a blade print maybe oh my god release a wyrmprint for blades already you already gave STAVES a SKILL DAMAGE PRINT the weapon for HEALERS who DONT DEAL SKILL DAMAGE WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

i so adore the dragalia life comic strip waaaaaa look at it its so cute,, a couple issues actually made me laugh out loud. my favorite is uhhhh,,, i'm too lazy to look up the number rn but its one with lathna and curran and he keeps tripping over his words as usual its adorable

the SOUNDTRACK,,,, i'm actually listening to force your way rn but when i started typing this i put on we are the lights and then it played because of you and oh force your way just ended and now its notte's slumber shot theme ekdvdjfhjf. its got a huge variety of songs, even if you havent or wont play dragalia at least listen to some of the songs included with it, i linked them for a reason go go go!! we are the lights is my personal favorite, its so satisfying to be able to fight [ SPOILERS ] to this song and you land the final hit at the very climax of the song WAAAA ITS MY FAVORITE FIGHT IN THE WHOLE GAME

as a gacha game ofc it has a huge cast of characters, and while most of them have literally NO relevance to the main plot they're all still so fun and unique and aaaa i love so many of them... as the current icon and one of my previous urls will imply my favorite is orsem! honestly though the range of characters is so funny sometimes like you have the main character, a prince who has inherited the dragonblood which allows him to shapeshift into dragons he's made pacts with, and there's apostles from the north linked to angels who set out to resolve problems concerning demons, three characters linked to unspeakable eldritch horrors, there's all sorts of determined fighters and ex-royalty and very serious characters with tragic backstories and then there's also like. a pirate who can be an opera singer. an opera singer who can be a phantom thief. two clowns. some dancers. a dnd player. gay cowboy. the same gay cowboy but they gave him a gun. the mystical ascended warrior dons a swimsuit and goes surfing with cats on his board. its a fantasy game but there are androids???

i ADORE the character design in this game i will never shut up about how much i love so many of these... three of my favorites: fritz, heinwald and alex

i think fritz is my actual favorite design i mean just look,,,, i normally don't reeeeally like the whole circus/fairgrounds kind of look but like he and annelie? hits a perfect balance. flawless. i automatically adore big wizard cloaks so heinwald was an easy pick. alex is? i dont really know what to pinpoint on her outfit that i likei just like it. the flowy thing on the back is very neat. other honorable mentions are mascula, laxi, mordecai, vixel, sylas, ieyasu and norwin. i want sylas's coat so bad can i commission someone to make it for me or something

on the story side of things though,, i'd say my favorite character stories were sylas and ramiel's. chapter 11 (android anguish), sylas and valerio's stories were the only ones to make me cry,,, ramiel's came close. they were so. aaaauuuugghh i have not stopped thinking about these stories since i read them. i wont say anything more because of spoilers but they're all so...

I ALMOST FORGOT TO SHOW OFF THE DRAGONS IN DRAGALIA LOST I'M A FOOL. here's midgardsormr he's cool as hell. i also want to mention mercury, prometheus and epimetheus but i hit the image limit. sad

i think the last thing i have to say here is uh. i adore euden as a protag. he may not be my no. 1 favorite character in the game but i'm gonna give him his own paragraph because he deserves it. i ofc cant say too much because of spoilers but the fact that this guy goes through SO MUCH but is still so, so, SO supportive and kind and determined to help others,,, but not overly perfect all the time? i saw him as too much of a generic Nice(tm) protag at first but actually he's so good?? he goes from the benevolent and powerful King of New Alberia, Defender of the People, The One Destined To Bring Peace To Graestea Once More to "Oh yeah. Totes. (People say totes, right?)" <- direct quote (or at least how i remember it). he's silly. i love euden

tl;dr: dragalia lost good. play it. please.

[berestweys]

TAGGED BY @annadream

i never do these things but i am here at this moment with a purrball on my lap trapping me so why not. (thank you for tagging me anna! i love being tagged even when i never do things.)

1. What is the colour of your hairbrush? i have a black comb

2. Name a food you never eat. lamb

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? too warm. i have never been cold once in my life. i would make an excellent citizen of greenland.

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? making food to take for lunches at work this week, while texting with @queenofattolia

5. What’s your favourite candy bar? i don’t like candybars much but i like those salted nut rolls with the nougat in them

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? several seattle mariners baseball games, against my will. more college football games than you can shake a stick at, all against my will.

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? 10 minutes ago: "who’s my cute little purr monster? who is it? who’s the fluffiest floof?”

8. What is your favourite ice cream? praline pecan, and strawberry - the kind that’s vanilla with chunks of strawberry, not the pink kind with little tiny bits of strawberry

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? ice water

10. Do you like your wallet? it’s fine? it’s a wallet

11. What is the last thing you ate? brussel sprouts and bacon

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? yes i bought a “boyfriend cardigan” which apparently means a cardigan for women but the buttons and pockets are bigger.

13. What’s the last sporting event you watched? a video of two of my nephews racing down a hill on snowboards

14. What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? real butter and salt, nothing fancy

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? lauren

16. Ever been camping? every weekend of my childhood. now you couldn’t pay me to go camping. i need a thick mattress and a deep bathtub at my disposal at all times.

17. Do you take vitamins? a few! i take a prescription vitamin D pill once a week because i’m a tall white woman who lives in northwest usa. i take magnesium and biotin when i remember.

18. Do you regularly attend a place of worship? no

19. Do you have a tan? i hate the sun; i will fight the sun. i’m a fairly uniform fish-belly white all over.

20. Do you prefer chinese or pizza? thai

21. Do you drink your soda through a straw? i don’t care for soda

22. What colour socks do you usually wear? grey or black gym socks and i have several pairs with a sort of fair isle pattern on them in different colors

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? yes on the freeway. not in town.

24. What terrifies you? walking alone at night in the city

25. Look to your left, what do you see? my coffee table, on which sits a stack of unfinished holiday cards 

26. What chore do you hate most? mopping

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? directions - my siri is an australian dude and he tells me every turn i need to take

28. What’s your favourite soda? again, no thank you to soda. i’ll have an iced tea.

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? no fast food for this lady. i cook!

30. What’s your favourite number? 2

31. Who’s the last person you talked to? ......like via phone/in person? the scheduler at my doctor’s office this morning

32. Favourite meat? beef

33. Last song you listened to? babe is born - liz story (it’s winter playlist hours)

34. Last book you read? solutions and other problems by allie brosh. 8 bajillion words’ worth of mdzs fanfic.

35. Favourite day of the week? saturday

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? maybe if i tried really hard but why

37. How do you like your coffee? either black drip or an americano with a little cream

38. Favourite pair of shoes? my sneakers because they’re so comfortable and bouncy

39. Time you normally get up? i’m always up by 5, usually just before. very occasionally i’ll really splurge and sleep until 5:30.

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? sunsets

41. How many blankets on your bed? 3 quilts. i need to be weighed down

42. Describe your kitchen plates. white stoneware

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment. a few dishes in the sink and there’s oil splattered on the stove

44. Do you have a favourite alcoholic drink? a glass of good red wine or if it’s a mixed drink a vodka tonic with lime

45. Do you play cards? i’m a wiz at uno and phase10. regular playing cards? no.

46. What colour is your car? brown

47. Can you change a tyre? under duress and with a lot of crying

48. Your favourite state or province? my favorite city is vancouver bc, so i suppose british columbia

49. Favourite job you’ve had? my current job! hopefully i’ll retire from it someday

tagging without any pressure at all: @becca-barnes, @nothingatallnice @schmetterlinq, @queenofattolia, @fulltimehabibti @ruthseriouslydothis, @shineyma

[westannatasharomanoff]

THG AU Chapter 24

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3     Chapter 4    Chapter 5    Chapter 6 Chapter 7   Chapter 8   Chapter 9  Chapter 10   Chapter 11 Chapter 12  Chapter 13 Chapter 14  Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17  Chapter 18 Chapter 19   Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22  Chapter 23  

*Natasha, Maria, Wanda, Pietro, Alexei, Melina, Liho, and Fury were on the train to The Capitol. *

Pietro: This is so cool! Was it like this for you the first time you left 12?

Wanda: No. I was terrified. But the train ride home was mesmerizing. 

Pietro: If the wedding is anything near as beautiful as this train ride, it’s going to be amazing. 

Melina: I can’t believe my little girl is actually getting married! It seems like just yesterday that we found you in the snow while packing up the old house!

Alexei: Tomorrow is a big day! Are you ready? 

Natasha: I’m a little nervous. 

Maria: You’ll be fine. 

*Meanwhile, Bruce, Vision, Tony, Pepper, and Morgan had arrived in The Capitol several hours before. *

Tony: You are going to love married life. Tying the knot was the best decision I ever made. 

Bruce: I’m just so nervous. 

Tony: I was nervous too, but it was so worth it.  *a train arrives* Hey, look, a train! Do you think that’s her?

Bruce: No. That train has the District 5 emblem. Thor’s here!

Tony: Who? 

Thor: Greetings. I’m Thor. *shaking everyone’s hand*  

Vision: I’m Vision.

Tony: Tony. Tony Stark. 

Pepper: I’m Virginia, but you can call me Pepper. *points at Morgan* And this is Morgan, she’s our two year old daughter. 

*They all talked for a bit longer, but once the train got there from 12, everyone was rushed to their rooms to get ready for the rehearsal dinner.* 

Gamora: *pulling out a floor length, A- line black dress* Since you are wearing white tomorrow, it is customary that you wear black to the rehearsal tonight. Your dress tomorrow is a ball gown, so it might be harder to walk in.

Natasha: Don’t worry about me, I’m pretty agile. I just wish I had some say in any of this. I haven’t even heard of half of these traditions. 

Gamora: Well, at least your father isn’t forcing you to design dresses and marry President Snow’s nephew. 

Natasha: That’s rough. Anyway, what is a rehearsal dinner? Nobody has explained it yet 

Gamora: Oh! Everyone practices walking down the aisle and then you have a big fancy dinner.

Natasha: How fancy?

Gamora: Formal wear, place settings, proper etiquette, 5 courses, and like a bajillion forks.

Natasha: That sounds really over the top. 

Gamora: Just wait until tomorrow! Cameras, a big poofy dress, uncomfortable shoes, flowers, high class guests who you’ve probably never met, crazy fancy decorations, a dinner ten times fancier than the one tonight, and a big party with music and *shudders* dancing. 

Natasha: What’s wrong with dancing?

Gamora: I just don’t like it. I once embarrassed myself while dancing by tripping in front of everyone and dancing brings back all of those memories. 

Natasha: Dancing might be the only tolerable thing about all of this. Besides, you know, being married to Bruce.

Gamora: I’m glad you’re excited.

*The rehearsal dinner went pretty well. Natasha and Bruce had to give speeches because of a Capitol traditions, but they were very heartfelt. That night, Natasha had a really bad nightmare. When she woke up, she felt like she couldn’t move. It wasn’t until after Wanda and Maria burst into her room that she realized she was screaming. *

Maria: What?! What is it?!

Wanda: Did you have another nightmare?!

Natasha: Yes! It was a bad one! I can’t- I need- I-. *sigh* I need some air.

 * She ran out onto her balcony and looked up. Back in District 12 she could usually see a whole sky of stars, but in The Capitol that night, only one was visible. She just wanted to go home. *

*The next morning*

Wedding planner: Wake up! Rise and shine! Today is the big day!

Gamora: I’m sorry to bother you so early, but guess who’s doing your hair, nails, and makeup. *Peter, Drax, and Mantis wave* Remember these guys?

Natasha: Oh, it is so great to see you all again! What have you been up to? 

Drax: I got promoted again. I do makeup for District 5 now. 

Mantis: My girlfriend and I went to the carnival last week and it was awesome! Oh I love saying that word! Girlfriend. *bounces up and down happily*

Gamora: *whispering to Natasha* She means my sister.

Peter: I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. Maybe I’ll try to be an ambassador to the districts like Gamora. No, that sounds boring

Gamora:  Anyway, Natasha, here’s your dress. *She pulls out a poofy white ball gown with spiderweb lace on the top and a tulle skirt*

Mantis: Go put it on!

*Natasha put on the dress. Mantis curled her hair and put in a veil with red flowers adorning it and held in place by a small tiara. Her lipstick was blood red, just like the bridesmaids dresses. her shoes were also white and her nails were red.* 

Natasha: Whoa. I look like-

Mantis: A cupcake?

Drax: A fashion icon?

Peter: A bride?

Gamora: A murder princess? 

Natasha: No. I look like I’m missing something. *puts on the locket Bruce gave her before her games* Wait, What do you mean “murder princess?”

Gamora: You know, like a princess from an old fairy tale, but less helpless. Which reminds me, here. *hands her an ornamental dagger* Put this in your garter. 

Natasha: Thanks! 

* Bruce was also getting ready. His suit was black and his groomsmen were wearing dark grey. * 

Bruce: I can’t believe today is the big day! I love her so much. What if I mess this up?

Tony: You’ll be fine. Now come on! You need to finish getting ready!

*The ceremony was perfect and they got married. Although, Natasha couldn’t help but feel like something wasn’t right. There were so many cameras watching them. The dinner was fantastic. It was the best food most of the wedding party had ever eaten. The wedding just didn’t feel right for them. All of that was forgotten when they got to the reception. Bruce and Natasha shared the first dance, and then Tony and Wanda gave their speeches. The party was a lot of fun, and Wanda danced with Vision pretty much the whole night.  Natasha and Bruce were exhausted that night. They fell asleep cuddled together and it was really hard for them to go their separate ways in the morning, but they managed it. The train left for District 3 very early.Two hours later, as everyone was getting on the train back to 12, President Snow himself pulled Wanda and Natasha aside.*

Snow: Did you know that District 3 and District 12 are the two furthest districts from each other in Panem? People from 3 and 12 are never meant to meet. *showing photos of Bruce and Natasha as well as photos of Wanda and Vision* Imagine the surprise the people of Panem would feel if they saw not one, but two couples between people from the two least united districts in our great country. Fortunately, we’re solving that problem.

Natasha: What do you mean? 

Snow: Why don’t you check the news once you get home? In the meantime, *hands each of them a wilting white rose* just remember that nothing truly beautiful is ever meant to last. 

* Meanwhile in District 3, Tony is helping Bruce pack his things.*

Tony: *crying* I can’t believe you’re moving to District 12! I’m going to miss you so much!

Bruce: I know, I’ll miss you too. The thing is, I love Natasha and this is really exciting for us. I can’t wait to spend every day with her and have a family and *BOOM* What was that?

Tony: I have no idea. *sirens start going off* Are those... air raid sirens?

Bruce: They are! Get to the storage room!

*Tony and Bruce run into the basement storage room of the lab, huddle under a table, and close their eyes. *

*BOOM*

[lessattitudemorealtitude]

Quarantine ask meme

I was tagged by @silentsaebyeok, thanks~

1. How’s your day been?

Day’s been short so far. I’m actually in a Zoom meeting with my advisor and fellow grad students right now reporting on our progress in our research. I’m looking at my peers in awe because they all have 30 minute discussions about what they’ve been working on and I just have... basically nothing. I’ve barely had the wherewithal to play video games, let alone my actual work. 

2. What’s the last thing that made you smile?

I hung out with my undergrad friends last night over Zoom. That’s always a fun time. 

3. What’s keeping you entertained these days?

I don’t know who @theoceanismyinkwell is, but their answer is an absolute mood.

“Reminding myself of the bajillion things I have to do and then sitting there in complete executive dysfunction for hours stressing about the bajillion things I still haven’t done and need the exact moment of hyperfocus to do (turns out I have adhd)”

Although for me it’s not adhd, it’s autism. And just general depression, yay /s

But in all seriousness, Animal Crossing

4. If you are in some kind of quarantine/self isolation: is there anything you’d like to achieve in this time?

Ugh, god, so many things. I want to make good progress on my thesis. I should probably start applying for jobs...

5. Post a selfie! (If you are comfortable with that.)

I’ve posted selfies on here before, so why not?

6. Last but not least: send this to some mutuals to keep the game going!

Okay, I’ll tag: anyone else who wants to get in on the fun

[lavellenchanted]

11 Questions Meme

Tagged a bajillion years ago by @bleden-mark​, thanaks Sophia!! ✨

Rules: Answer the questions of the person who tagged you, come up with 11 new ones, and tag 11 new people some people! Tagging: @jedbartlet​, @otherpens​, @ardatli​, @isabel-archer​, @roboticonography​, @iriswestallenn​ and of course my partner-in-memeing @theawkwardterrier​! 

1. What fictional universe would you like to live in? Mmm, I always find this a tough one because most of the fictional universes I have are going through some serious shit if it’s set in canon, but look if I could live out my life as a hobbit contentedly enjoying the sunshine in my garden in the shire or as an elf reading in the tranquillity of Rivendell I absolutely would

2. If you could spend a day with a favourite character of yours, who would it be?  I think a day with Luna Lovegood would be fun and adventurous and not be likely to get me killed so let’s say Luna 

3. Recommend a non-English song! (Not a question but I’m looking for new music fhghd)  In all honesty I don’t have a lot of non English songs that I listen to, so I’mma cheat a little and rec a song that is part English, part French - In the Mood for L’Amour by Claire Denamur

4. Can you play any instruments? If so, which? If not, would you like to? I learned to play the flute, but it’s been a long time since I played so how well I still can is very much debatable. 

5. Three facts for your favourite ship. I didn’t ship Harry and Luna the first time I read Order of the Phoenix, but on subsequent re-reads before Half-Blood Prince came out it grew on me and I really started hoping for it. I wasn’t really involved in online fandom much as a teenager, so it’s really only in the last few years on tumblr that I’ve connected with other Lunarry shippers - it’s nice to feel I’m not so alone in my tugboat any more! That said, it is in fact the first ship I ever posted fanfic online for. 

6. What’s your OC-creating process like? What do you come up with first? (name, appearance, personality, aesthetic etc) It varies, but usually I have a character type/archetype in mind that I want to build off that I start with, and from there I flesh out backstory and personality. Usually as I do that I can visualise them and get an idea of how they look and what their aesthetic is. Name is always last - I find names difficult, and will spend ages trying out names until I find one that fits. By the time they’re fleshed out and I have a picture, I usually have an idea of what the name should sound like or maybe have a letter in mind for the first initial, but sometimes it’s just scrolling through name databases until one jumps out.

7. A picture of an outfit you don’t own but wish you did? I’m not so good with fashion but if I could wear Clare Dane’s glow-in-the-dark princess gown I would:

8. If you could pet any animal in the world, which would you choose? I’ve read that petting a wolf is a real experience because their fur is so thick so I’d love to try that.

9. Sun or moon? The moon

10. Your most-played game? In terms of sheer number of hours put in, probably Dragon Age: Inquistion or Horizon Zero Dawn. In terms of number of times played and completed, Tomb Raider: Underworld. 

11. What fantasy/supernatural creature would you like to be? MERMAID, always.

My questions:

1. What was the last book you read that you couldn’t put down? 2. What hobby have you always wanted to pick up but never been able to/gotten around to? 3. What colour is your room painted?  4. Do you have any family heirlooms? What are they? 5. What song do you currently have on repeat? 6. If you could instantaneously transport yourself anywhere in the world, where would you go and why? 7. Do you think you have a type when it comes to shipping? If so, what is it? 8. Do you have a favourite myth or legend?  9. Preferred type of pen? Blue or black ink? 10. If you could master any skill immediately, what would it be? 11. Do you collect anything?

[valkyrieofsmut]

21 Questions

I was tagged by @omnomsauruswrites in this a long time ago... and finally had a chance to get to it!

Rules: Answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people who you want to get to know better. (I’m super socially awkward, so I will be skipping that part, however, go ahead and do this tagging me as your tagger lol)

Nickname: Val, Lallers (Lahll (sounds like Sally) -er-s), Alries (Al-re-s), Face, Little Key (short for Kitty) (last ones by my husband only)

Zodiac: Cancer

Height: Used to be 6′ even, but two discs in my back slipped, and now it’s 5′ 10″

Last movie I saw: Um... Going to see the new How to train your dragon at work Today (Tuesday), I’m really looking forward to seeing Happy Deathday 2U if it’s ever on at a time that I can (here they don’t put scary movies on at a time that school kids could “go by themselves”... yay. Porn is also a health crisis... *huge eye roll*)

Last thing googled: A bunch of games, trying to find them around me, and prices...

Favorite musician: hmmm... You know, I know all the words to like, a bajillion songs, but I don’t know the titles, or artists of any of them... But I could always go with a few of the faves that I do know; Beatles, Daft Punk... Yeah?

Song stuck in my head: 😂 Bassline junkie by Dizzee Rascal (link) it’s explicit, so watch who you’re around, and the video is hilarious, too.

Other blogs: That on here or anywhere? I have some things on a few websites, but not on here.

Do I get asks: Sometimes, not often, though.

Following: About 36... I’m really terrible about following people; social anxiety. Basically I follow a few big ones, and most of the good stuff shows up on my dash... lol

Amount of sleep: That I like? A lot. That I get? Like, 4 or so hours a day... Fucking Insomnia

Lucky number: 23, maybe? Don’t know that I actually have one...

What I’m wearing: Pajamas; fuzzy (grey with penguins) pants, tank top.

Dream job: I’ve always wanted a few different things; first choice has always been most things having to do with animals, especially vet, or zoo keeper, zoologist, second choice was writer, editor, librarian, mostly things where I can get paid to read lol.

Dream trip: Ireland, Germany, or Japan

Favorite food: Bread! Also pizza and ice cream, but I can’t eat those, unfortunately...

Play any instruments: Violin, clarinet, vocal harp (singing lol), kinda cello, bass, learning occerania, electric guitar, was learning keyboard...

Languages: English, Germlish, Japalish, and parts of a few other languages.

Random fact: I was called walking dictionary in elementary school & people have the strange habit of asking me every random question as though I know the answer to everything... I always ask them why they ask me, and I usually get, I just thought you’d know...

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: they’re a bit in depth

Fields in thunderstorms, 

camping in the beauty of nature (where there aren’t many luxuries like toilets and not pumped water... lol), 

fields in the middle of night in winter with bare trees covered in snow when the light reflects and you can see everything in the bright shadows and can hear the light sound of snow falling, 

trees in summer with lush greenery around them... 

[super-lemon-sama]

Tag game! 

Tagged by the Speedmeme herself: @yarewagon

 Rules: Answer 30 questions. Tag 10 blogs you want to get to know better.

Nickname(s): Lemon and Marie. 

Like 90% of all my self inserts are named Marie (sometimes marina or mariana) so sometimes I forget that it isnt actually my real name  

Occasionally people will call me Preuss and it always make me feel so cool B’)

there’s also RiRi (RyeRye), but only my mom calls me that, so dont (ง •̀_•́)ง

 Gender: Female (But I’m down with any pronouns bc I’m pretty fluid 👍)

 Sign: Libra (Yeah I am was a dirty homestuck, fight me)

 Height: 5″4 (162 cm) 

((but I feel like I’m 2 ft bc my brother is 6″4, friggen titan lookin ass...)

 Current time: 2:02 PM

 Favourite band(s): 

(( I like a bajillion bands and 90% of them are super edgy, dont judge me  ;w;))

The edgy bands I usually listen to (mostly while drawing or animating): mother mother,  Perfect Circle, mindless self indulgence, glass animals, sickkick, mutemath, getscared, highly suspect, celldweller, creature feature, angelspit, In this moment,  Mac Demarco, Crywank, andrew jackson jihad, Yungblud,  arctic monkeys, twenty one pilots,  the neighborhood, weathers, nicole dollanganger

Sweeter bands:  Cavetown, gregory and the hawk, jukebox the ghost, fun

The bands that I've been a fan of for so long that I have listen to all their albums at least a billion time:  Paramore, Panic at the disco, the hoosiers, mumford and sons,  Perfect Circle, mindless self indulgence, creature feature

Also all the bands Yarewagon listed: Gorillaz, Franz Ferdinand, Studio Killers, Florence + The Machine, Daft Punk (these are 10/10, good choice op)

 Favourite solo artist(s): hhhhh my monkey brain is too simple for this tbh, if you make music you are a band, that’s just how it is. ;w;

 Song stuck in my head: 

I have at least five songs stuck in my head at all times  bc I’m constantly listening to music, singing and doing animations to music

Some In my head rn are: Cavetown- Lemon boy, Flyleaf- I’m so sick, Glass Animals- Pork soda

 Last movie I saw: Black panther (?)

 Last show I watched: JOJO 

 When did I create my blog: April 2013 HOLY SHIT

 What do I post: It’s changed A LOT the past few years but I’ve always tried to mainly post my art 

my first posts were like minecraft hetalia and mlp posts and rebloged a lot of “haha lel teh random” shit (￣︶￣;)

then it’s been back and forth with mlp, fallout, homestuck, and dont starve

but now im a JOJO blog  ☆*~ ⸂⸂⸜(രᴗര๑)⸝⸃⸃ ~*☆

(I might still post homestuck stuff occasionally tho hhh)

Last thing I googled: Emoticons ＼(・ω・)/

 Do I have any other blogs: Yes... a lot. actually

but the only ones I ever really use are-

@agreatbountyofshame which is my self insert blog 

and

@koji-motion-clone-commotion which is a blog that’s a total mess to explain but basically I revamped some super old characters of mine and decided to make it like an osomatsu-san boot-leg 

I also technically has a NSFW blog but It’s horrible and I almost never post there so ://///

I have like two mlp ask blogs but they’re dead, rest in piss you tiny anime horses.

Do I get asks: Ehhh, that depends on the blog.

I used to get asks for my dont starve blog occasionally, but I kinda lost interest and didnt answer them as often, My Koji-Motion blog gets some but they usually come from Deviant art,

my pony blogs were flooded, pony blogs get so much attention Y’all, I die.

I super love getting asks though! 

So if you have a spare second or two please send any random ask to either of my other blogs, (or even this one, though this isnt really an ask blog)

I’d love you forever, thanks

Why did I choose my URL: Bc I super vibe with Okuyasu and bein gay

(also I made a long list of jojo character names but fused with another word and I figgin loved this one)

 Following: 332

 Followed by: 366 and I love all of you thank you so much, you fill me with so much heart feel good energy.

 Average hours of sleep: Either 12, 4, or 0. sleep is wack Y’all

 Lucky number: 7 but I also like 5 and all even numbers. they’re reliable number

 Instruments: In order of most to least experience- Piano, recorder, and Guitar

 What am I wearing: “a t-shirt and shorts a true fashion icon” SAAAAAAME

Dream job: “Animator or a concept artist would be rad”  YASS QUEEN OH MY GOD, But I’d also kill to be a story board artist, jghsdkgfk

 Favourite food: hhhh all? all foods? I have a super sweet tooth tho so I guess baked foods and candy

 Nationality: American (The rest of my family is hella German tho so I’m exotic white bread ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  )

 Favourite song: n-no. I cant. Pwease (*T▽T*) there are to many

 Last book I read: Oh jesus who knows. I’m to busy listening to people read for me to ACTUALLY read, lmao.

 Top 3 fictional universes I wanna join: 

#1: JOJO, but only if I had a stand, otherwise what’s even the point ┐(￣ー￣)┌

#2: Homestuck but only if I was a player duh. who wouldnt want the chance to have an amazing adventure even at the risk of horrible death? ... Okay actually when I put it that way-

#3: uhhh Maybe the Oblivion/skyrim universe bc magic and adventure but also you can explore and just gather shit if you want. (not a big fan of the whole cival war thing tho, ghfdghdfg )

otherwise I guess the pokemon universeor an anime universe where I have any sort of powers ヽ/❀o ل͜ o\ﾉ

I’ll tag some of my “biggest fans” and some other wonderful people:

@chernobylfailureter @ask-treats-sweets @happyeffect @okuyasustolemyheart @gingerweed-man

[greenishbucket]

Something About You

The bottom line is Larissa could theoretically approach Camilla and something could happen. 1.9k, also on ao3.

For Day 5 of OMGCheckPlease! Women Week 2017: Gender/Sexuality Identities

It's not like Larissa has a real crush on Camilla Collins, not like she did on Raj in junior year of high school.

They'd been art buddies since second week of freshman year and he developed some of the worst acne Larissa'd ever seen, like, for real, but she'd still got flustered around him and his hair had been thick enough to lose a hand in. Not that she'd ever done that, or thought about it at length. And he'd been kind about her art when she forgot how to draw limbs or complete a clean block print for like a whole fucking month straight outta nowhere, as well as crazy good at physics which Larissa appreciated because she needed his notes to pass. He'd liked all of her updates on FB; still did, last being an arty pic Claire had taken of Lake Quad and Larissa had deemed worthy. He'd sat with her and her other friends at lunch sometimes and there had probs been some mutual crushing going on in hindsight.

Whatever Larissa's feeling around Camilla is something for sure but it doesn't have the familiarity of Raj. It’s a crush from afar. Larissa feels her face burning whenever Camilla’s near even though they’ve never really spoken, her eyes catching on Camilla’s arms and the curl of her hair and lame ass butterflies erupting in her stomach whenever Camilla laughs. Sure, she also imagines what it'd be like to go over and talk to her and what their first date could be like but it's not the same.

It’s kinda weird for a girl to be attainable, for one thing. Like, Larissa’s had crushes on girls before but their sexuality had always been an unknown, keeping the whole possibility of approaching a distant idea and something she’d played around with but not legit considered. Camilla goes to the same LGBT events that Larissa drops in on and is loud and proud about being bi in a way Larissa feels but doesn’t think she can replicate, busy still thinking too long before she talks; Camilla’s bright and friendly and possible and it draws Larissa in. Larissa thinks her crush is pretty reasonable by all standards, maybe even a rite of passage. Frosh Experience no. 38: Get crush on Camilla Collins.

The bottom line is Larissa could theoretically approach Camilla and something could happen. It’s wild.

She feels over-warm with the potential of it the first half of the semester, stuck between the desire to never do anything with the feeling and the fear that if she doesn’t she’ll regret it. Her art friends give her some shit about it - chirp, chirp, she thinks, thinking back to Shitty’s hockey guys she’d been introduced to the other day - and it’s chill but it kinda blows a little, how much they push it even when Larissa feels a little fragile about what to do with it. Not that she says anything because that’s not her style but still. Beyond that, nothing really happens until they’re all at a nice but a little try-hard party and Camilla is there, looking for a beer pong partner.

Larissa knows she’s a fucking pro at beer pong and so do all of her art friends with her (in spite of the intense angsty persona she’s carefully cultivating to project with them). They all turn to look at her when one of the tennis girls lifts Camilla’s arm, advertising her as ‘pretty fucking solid, wrist game off the charts, someone claim this lovely lady and become a legend!’. Next thing she knows she’s marching up to Camilla Collins - Camilla Collins - and offering to pair up, a couple of ‘get it!’ hoots just audible over the noise. Larissa can feel sweat in a nasty layer all along her back as she speaks and she can see now where Camilla’s smudged her mascara at some point in the night which, to be honest, only makes Larissa more nervous because smudged mascara has never looked more appealing.

“’Sup, I’m Larissa,” she says. She’s resisting the instinct to stick her hand out.

“Camilla,” says Camilla like Larissa doesn’t already know. “You think we could win this thing together?” She looks Larissa up and down like she’s calculating and its a commitment to competitiveness that Larissa admires.

“Chyeah,” Larissa says, because her heart might be beating a bajillion beats a minute but chyeah.

It seems enough to convince Camilla. She gives a slightly sloppy high five that Larissa just manages to meet and then the game is on.

Despite more than a few drinks between them, they more than hold their own. It’s like they can’t miss the cups put in front of them and the other pair across the table knock over so many that it starts to get ridiculous. Camilla’s arms are tight and toned around Larissa when she pulls her into a hug after a particularly slick manoeuvre and Larissa feels dizzy with it all, floating off her feet like none of it is quite real. It’s probably the alcohol but she can’t ignore how much of it is the anxiety-exhilaration of something could really happen here.  

The alcohol is what Larissa chooses to blame when Camilla drags her to the kitchen for water, laughing and talking fast over the music about how amazing they both were, and Larissa can’t stop staring at the strength in her hands as she does the most mundane of all fucking tasks in getting them two plastic cups of water. The way that with how close they’re standing despite the relative emptiness of the kitchen, Larissa can smell how Camilla’s perfume is mixed with clean sweat and she nearly tips the whole cup down her face she’s so distracted.

The alcohol is definitely what Larissa chooses to blame when she chucks all her usual reserve and caution out the window and leans in to kiss Camilla the second they’ve both put their water down.

Larissa knows she isn’t bad at kissing, she had practice with some guys here and there in high school, but she can only assume Camilla must be some kind of expert because it feels pretty fucking stellar. Warm and a little wet and sending so many signals all over the place Larissa feels like her mind’s blanking out. She can’t believe she’s kissing a girl, that’s it’s something that’s really happening and - she knows it’s stupid, she understands sexuality all right - that it’s ridiculously hot, her heart racing and stomach hot, and she’s really bi, she isn’t imagining it or faking it.

She realises half a second later that she needs to pull back a moment, that the reality that she’s kissing Camilla Collins and she’s a girl and they’re surrounded by people at a party is suddenly way heavy on her shoulders. Larissa thinks she could probably kiss Camilla for a few more hours at least just for the physicality of it (because shouldn’t there be something else? It feels amazing, it's just where’s the fizz of a crush-fantasy made real?) but right now she needs a moment.

The kitchen feels set adift from the party in the aftermath of the kiss. Larissa keeps her eyes on the sticky-looking floor, breathing deep. She can’t look at Camilla quite yet, even as Camilla’s hand is still on the small of her back.

“Larissa...” Camilla starts and Larissa knows that tone of voice. Gentle, cautious, getting Larissa’s back up immediately because she’s not fucking delicate.

That is, she feels pretty delicate at the moment actually but she doesn’t need Camilla to recognise that. Probs would prefer this entire exchange was just skipped straight over until she felt a lot less delicate, actually.

She looks away from the sticky floor and up at Camilla whose mascara is still smudged and whose eyes are still hazy with alcohol but who also looks concerned and unsure, softly apologetic. It's not anything Larissa ever wanted to see from her.

“Yeah?” she says because not replying would probably just make it worse.

“You seem like an awesome, awesome girl and, like, I’d love for us to be friends or something,” Camilla says, hand still on Larissa’s back and body still so close, “and I’d love for us to play beer pong again but I don’t know that we should do this. It’s not- I mean- it’s just- you get it, right?”

Larissa doesn’t get it. She has a lot of questions. Why did Camilla kiss her back for so long? Why has Larissa’s crush become suddenly 2D and finite, rather than exploding with the satisfaction of a really great kiss? What’s wrong with Larissa in Camilla’s eyes that even a kiss is too far - is she too shy? Not pretty enough? Too eager? Why did all her friends push them together like this and why did Larissa let herself get pulled along?

Maybe Camilla can tell Larissa doesn’t know what she’s doing yet, that she’s got an obvious crush that increasingly seems to be probs because, what? Because Camilla is the first girl Larissa’s found attractive that could find her attractive back, the first girl she could look at and think that could really happen the way she did with Raj? Not even like with Raj, who she knew. With Camilla, who really is hot and would probably be an amazing friend but, now she's staring it in the face, what is Larissa's crush really actually about? Larissa hardly knows Camilla enough to have a crush on her. Not the kind of thinking-of-the-future crush her mind had been skirting around lately; they've spoken, like, twice before today.

And, fuck, there's nothing wrong with just liking someone physically but if that's the deal with her and Camilla then why had she pushed so many feelings into it? To make it all more legit, more I'm-not-faking-to-be-hot? Like a girl can't just find another girl hot and then find some other girl hot and want all the romance stuff and have those both be legit? That's bullshit and Larissa knows it is and she just wants to be passed all of this being a baby bi shit already - she thought she already was - and have all the kinds of experience with girls, none of this shitty confusion.

And Camilla has had a front row to this mess, been pulled into it unknowingly. This kind of uncertainty isn't something Larissa is ever gonna want anyone to see. She is more embarrassed than she can put into words, feels prickly and awful all over.

“Yeah, I get it,” she says. “No problem.”

They both take a step back, putting the space of the sink between them.

“Well, I guess I should go,” Camilla says after a beat, gesturing back towards the party. “Thanks for the beer pong.”

She looks awkward and still apologetic and she’s still pretty enough Larissa finds it hard to look straight at her without blushing but she’d really prefer if she left. The lingering elation and mixing with humiliation and uncomfortable vulnerability makes for a horrible feeling in her chest that she’d rather be alone with.

Larissa stays in the kitchen a little longer once Camilla goes. Her hair feels too close and hot around her face, messed a little where Camilla’s hand might have been in it for a second, and she resists the impulsive urge to chop it all off. She ties it back in a painfully tight pony tail and returns to the party.

[5hfanfiction]

Hard Feelings/Loveless

* * *

“Three years, loved you every single day, made me weak, it was real for me.”

* * *

“We’re not doing this here.”

“Well it can’t be done anywhere else, clearly, since you can’t even reply to my texts anymore!”

“Have you ever thought that maybe I just don’t want to fucking talk to you?”

“Dinah-“

“No, like, seriously? I dread every hour expecting some whiny-ass text message from you about your bullshit love life and your stress with this Bruno Mars tour.”

Okay. Camila stops running after that. Ouch. She stands blindly in the backstage area, Dinah a few feet away behind crew members. She digs into a cooler for what Camila supposes is water, but the dark-skinned girl instead retrieves a beer. A beer.

“Dinah-“

“You know what, Mila? I really don’t care what you have to say. Give it up.”

Camila grumbles out of frustration, shimmying her way through the tech crew’s crowd. Her hand latches onto Dinah’s beer, but Dinah pulls it away before Camila can do anything more, her eyes flaring a warning.

“Di,” Camila’s voice is lower now. “Just let me speak for five seconds, please?”

Dinah rolls her eyes, and Camila takes it as a cue. “I didn’t mean for the livestream to happen. I didn’t mean for…for any of this to happen, okay? It just all exploded in my face and-“

“Intentions or not, your actions have unwarranted outcomes.” Dinah takes a swig of her beer. “Or did you not learn that on the 7/27 tour?”

Okay, ouch again. Camila doesn’t have to guess; she knows exactly what Dinah means by that. Little things throughout the tour, innocent intentions with negative outcomes; like one night, the crowd had held up signs for Normani, signs lit in bright blue that rightfully claimed Normani your black is beautiful. Camila had pointed out a sign from some girls who had traveled all the way from Cuba just to see the show. See what I mean? Innocent intentions, but terrible outcomes. 

Camila takes a breath. “I’m sorry-“

“I’m not Lauren, okay? I’m not going to accept your apology just because we had a past relationship- a past friendship- or some shit. You didn’t talk to me the days leading up to the livestream, so why should I talk to you now?”

Dinah’s right, Camila acknowledges. She’s been a shitty friend to Dinah, the girl who’s been breaking her back and risking her relationships with the other members of Fifth Harmony just for Camila’s sake. 

There’s nothing left to say.

“I’m in love with her, Dinah.” Camila’s voice shakes, and her face is blood red as even the tech crew break their necks twisting around to watch the two girls. She realizes they could leak this argument, confess to a magazine in exchange for money. But honestly? Camila doesn’t care anymore. She isn’t afraid to take risks anymore.

Lauren gave her that.

“I know you don’t want to hear this, and I know I promised you I wouldn’t let my feelings get in the way but-“

Camila barely manages to finish her sentence before being pulled into the bathroom, away from the crew and the rest of Fifth Harmony’s team. Dinah slams her back against the bathroom’s door, making sure no one else can interrupt the two. She crosses her arms.

Finally, Dinah simply frowns and looks at Camila with watery eyes.

“You think I don’t know you love her, Mila?”

Okay. Ouch times three.

“You think I don’t notice the way you look at her, or the way you avoid looking at her? You think I don’t know what it means when you’re purposefully avoiding her and she’s complaining about it 24/7? I know you love her, Camila. I knew it the moment you called me two weeks ago.”

Dinah sighs. “I’m not mad that your feelings for her exist- I’m mad that they got in the way when you promised me they wouldn’t. I’m mad that I had to find out you love her by myself; you didn’t tell me! This lack of communication? It’s what almost broke up our group when you left nearly a fucking a year ago! And you two-“ Dinah’s tearing up now, her voice growing chalky and rough. “You two keep jeopardizing this group when it’s the only fucking thing that makes me happy. Your selfishness is constantly putting us at risk and it’s like, no one even cares anymore! No one cares except me.”

Dinah is full-on crying now, and Camila so badly wants to hug her, so badly wants to hug her best friend. But she still sees the flash of anger in her eyes, and she pulls her arms back, balling her hands into fists. All she can do is shake her head, shaming herself, and mutter softly, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah,” Dinah chuckles dryly through her tears. “You’re sorry, Lauren’s sorry, Ally and Normani are fucking sorry. But you know what? I’m not. I’m not fucking sorry for still giving a damn about Fifth Harmony!”

Camila feels sick. Like, seriously sick, like maybe she should go, sick. So she apologizes again, says she should go, reaches for the door handle-

But Dinah stops her. She sniffs, wipes a hand over her face and says, “Wait.”

And Camila does.

“I’m mad, Camila. I’m really fucking mad, but…” Dinah sighs again. “I don’t blame you. If we’re being honest, I blame Lauren for being so impulsive. What’s happened is done, and I can’t do anything to change it. I’m so fucking scared, Mila, you have no idea. I don’t want to lose this group. We were supposed to be the girl group that actually made it, you know?”

Even Camila is tearing up now.

“But I’ll get over it, like I always do when shit like this happens-“

“You shouldn’t have to get over it, Dinah.” Camila puts a hand over her chest. “You’re right. We’ve been selfish and-“

“I want Fifth Harmony to succeed. I can’t make that happen if Laur, Mani or Ally doesn’t want to. I can’t force them to stop being so…lax about things. But our label didn’t yell at us, like I thought they would. We’re still cleared to continue as a group. It just…hurts, okay? It really hurts.” There’s a brief moment of silence, and then:

“But I forgive you. You confronted me in person like you should have, and I’ll be bitter for another day or two, but I forgive you.”

Camila sighs with relief. She opens her arms to pull Dinah in for a hug-

“On one condition.”

Shit. There’s always a fucking condition, isn’t there? Camila deflates, raising a brow worriedly.

“Do you see yourself marrying her, Mila?”

Camila chokes on her own saliva. She laughs fakely, trying to lighten the question. “Dinah-“

“I’m serious. I’m not going to put up with the on-and-off bullshit. So let me ask you again, do you see yourself marrying her?”

Camila considers it seriously for a second. Marrying Lauren. Now that’s a thought. Of course, the two girls are barely in their twenties, somehow more teenager than they are adults, so marriage really wouldn’t be like, a real concern until they reach their mid-twenties at least but also that’s like, in six or so years and then who knows if they’ll even still be together by then-

Okay. Camila breathes, trying to piece together a single coherent thought. Marrying Lauren would mean a lot of things-

Upon visualizing marrying the girl who was once (and probably still is) your best friend:

1.) her smile will be the biggest, most unfathomably beautiful thing you’ll ever see in your entire life when you propose, for one thing.

2.) It will mean being with her nearly every waking moment of your life, waking up and falling asleep and eating dinner and breakfast and lunch with her. She will punctuate both the beginning and end to all of your days.

3.) It won’t mean the end of struggle or arguments between the both of you, but it will mean that the dedication and promise to worth through said struggle and arguments will never fade.

4.) It will mean knowing you’re loved by the one person you’ve only ever wanted all this time.

5.) It will mean feeling complete.

Camila only realizes she’s tearing up when Dinah’s hand-waving in front of Camila’s face-goes blurry. She shakes her head, blinking a bajillion times to clear her vision without showing how red her eyes are growing. 

“Yeah,” Camila says, biting her lip shyly. Her single word comes out choked, so she clears her throat and tries again, her voice stronger now. 

“Yeah, I would marry her.” She nods eagerly. “In a heartbeat.”

Dinah nods curtly, her eyes brightening. She uncrosses her arms and pulls Camila into a suffocating embrace, purposefully squeezing the life out of the girl. 

“Then stop being so fucking stupid,” She says. “And tell the damn girl, already!”

“That’s um, the thing, um-“

Dinah takes Camila’s stuttering as a sign to let go. 

“Like, I kind of maybe just asked her out to dinner? But like, as a friend like she doesn’t like…We didn’t confirm it was a real date and I mean why would it be if she’s with Ty-“

“But she said yes?”

Camila blinks. “Well, y-yeah but-“

Dinah sighs, tilting her head in confusion. “I don’t know what her game is. I know for a fact she’s still with Ty, but from what we walked into the day of the livestream, she was definitely about to kiss you-“

Camila spaces out.

“…And saying yes to this, date? I don’t know…Mila?”

“Yes? Sorry, sorry I-“

“Anxiety bubbling up again?”

Ouch times four. Camila nods solemnly.

“Look, I’ll talk to her. I won’t tell her you like her or anything, but just…get some more details about what she exactly thinks the dinner is, okay?”

“Ok.”

“Hey,” Dinah squeezes Camila’s shoulders with both hands. “It’ll be fine. Lauren’s a smart girl, you know.”

As Camila nods and forces a smile, there’s only one thought running through her mind again. Why the hell does everyone keep saying that?!

* * *

Camila doesn’t remember much after her conversation with Dinah. She knows she definitely greeted Ally, which surprisingly went really well. She knows she said goodbye to Lauren, a warm hug promising something more. She remembers blushing pink from Normani’s constant winks and suggestive shrugs.

Most of all, though, she remembers receiving a text from Lauren just as she was walking out of the shower.

From: Lauren Jauregui

Hey.

To: Lauren Jauregui

Hey (:

So um. I kind of have some bad news.

Camila remembers her heart dropping in this moment. Should I be nervous?

Maybe?

Camila remembers not responding for a minute, prompting Lauren to continue.

It’s Ty.

He doesn’t want me to go.

He’s convinced it’ll be like, a date or something. After the livestream and everything he’s been really protective.

Oh.

I’m sorry, Camz. In any other situation I’d ignore him, but lately things have been really rocky between us and I really don’t want to ruin what we have. You understand, right?

Sure. No worries.

I’m really sorry.

Don’t be

You sure you’re okay with this?

Yup

Camz.

I’m serious. If I was fighting with my partner and they wanted me to prove my loyalty, I guess I’d do the same. Even if it meant hurting one of my best friends.

Camila, I’m sorry, okay? What else do you want me to say? 

Nothing. 

That’s the whole fucking point.

I gotta go.

Please don’t text me for a while, okay?

Camila.

Don’t be like that.

Camila?

Seriously?

Fine. Don’t reply. Whatever. 

Camila remembers crying herself to sleep that night. She remembers thinking about how everyone told her Lauren is a smart girl, most of the time. And yet, every time Camila thinks she’s doing the right thing in forgiving Lauren, in letting her in, in risking everything for her-

It blows up in her face, every single fucking time.

Lauren’s a smart girl. Camila remembers laughing dryly through her tears. When she wants to be, I guess.

[purplesurveys]

199

Have you ever read the Hunger Games series? No I never got into both the book and film series. I wish I did read the books though...oh well, it’s never too late to start on them. When was the last time you ran into something? There’s so many things I could run into though haha. I guess the frog that I met while I was taking some trash out a couple of days ago? Do you enjoy dressing up? Sure. I love parties. Do you live in the city or a rural area? In the middle. I literally live right before the city and right before the more province-y part of town. Would you say you have a sense of style? Yeah, my friends have pointed it out occasionally. It’s never intentional and I never wanted to project a certain image, but whatever.

What's your biggest fear? These surveys have made me realize that aside from cockroaches, I am also very terrified of fire. :-( Have you ever been bitten by a wild animal? Not bitten, although I got pecked by this huge bird in a mini-safari because it caught me taking a picture of it when I was 12. Are you close to any of your cousins? I’m close with one. We’re quite older, and everyone else is much younger so I can’t really build the close and personal relationship that I would want to have with them. Have you ever been lost in the woods? Nope I wouldn’t want to do anything that will put me in that situation. Where did you last travel? I was in Vigan last September. Do you enjoy driving? I love the independence aspect of it–my mom can’t ever say no to my plans now because I’ll always have the capability to drive anyway. But that’s the only advantage, really. Driving is exciting for the first few months but then you realize Manila traffic takes out at least four hours of your day everyday just weaving in and out of traffic. It’s ultimately tiring. What song did you last listen to? Tell Me How by Paramore. If you have a job, how often do you work? No job. What time do you normally go to sleep at night? I can’t give you an exact time but it’s usually between 9 PM and 1 AM. Do you watch a lot of movies? I used to but I’ve temporarily lost my muse for it. Hopefully the upcoming awards season will rouse my interest again. Do you like Tom Petty? Never listened to his music. Would you rather have snow or rain? I mean just because I’ve never seen it, snow. Do you own a lot of sweaters? Nope. I only have one and it isn’t even mine, technically. It’s too hot to wear sweaters any time of the year, so why spend several hundred bucks on something I doubt I’ll be able to wear more than twice a year? Have you ever tried rock-climbing? Oh man I always wanted to but was always lazy when there’s an opportunity hahaha. Ever ridden in a police car? No. Favorite decade of music? I don’t have one. I have favorite genres and they encompass various decades instead. Have any of your best friends been your best friend longer than a year? Yes. For longer than a decade, really. The only best friend I had who wasn’t able to hang on was Sofie, but even that had been longer than a year. Ever witnessed a murder? No. I’ve seen my loved ones getting murdered in my dreams, but never one in real life. Do you care what people think of you? My friends, yes. Anyone else, I don’t see why it should concern me. Does your room have a ceiling fan? No, I find it too old-fashioned for my room. Would you consider yourself poised? I have my moods, and that’s all thanks to my Classic Hollywood phase hahaha. I learned all of my etiquette from Audrey Hepburn. Have you ever tried blogging? Yes. I made a bajillion Blogger accounts but only made one entry with each of them. I had a lot because I would forget my username and password as soon as I made my first post and proceeded to abandon them. Favorite television channel? I don’t watch TV. Have you ever lied under oath? No. I’ve never even been under oath. What are your religious views? I don’t have any other than I never agreed with anything that’s ever come out of Catholicism, and that’s coming from 17 years of experience. Are you a romantic person? I’m super sweet in private. Otherwise, in a public setting, I’m hesitant to be showy. Just because I know it would annoy me if I saw a couple who’s a little into their PDA. Would you consider yourself a flirt? No. I never had the opportunity to find out for myself. At what age do you plan to be married? 27-29 should be fine. Do you eat a lot of junk food? Hah.  When did you last go on vacation? September. Are you resilient? I can be. It will ultimately depend on the situation at hand. Have you ever failed a subject before? No. I’ve failed tests, but never a class. If so, what was the class? Do you wear more bright or dull colors? Dull. Wearing bright colors would be very out of character for me. Do you know anyone who has attempted suicide? Yes. What's your favorite quote? I give different answers to this question all the time. Right now it’s, “Next time you point a finger, I might have to bend it back or break it off / Next time you point a finger, I’ll point you to the mirror.” from Paramore’s Playing God. Would you consider yourself mature? Yeah, at least more mature than the wild party animals that are the business students in my school. How many clocks are in your house? Several. I can’t be bothered to visualize and start counting right now. Do you play any sports? Yes. I play table tennis. What is your biggest life regret? This isn’t my doing and it’s not really a regret, but I’ve always wanted to see the person I would have turned out to be if I wasn’t raised in the detrimental environment I was raised in. Like, who would I be if my mom didn’t put me down mentally and emotionally every single day? What kind of outlook would I have if I had parents who had jobs that allowed them to be constantly at home and thus would be able to actually build a connection with us? How happier would I have been if I didn’t have to spend every time wondering if my relatives would nearly attack each other to death, intoxicated? It’s really saddening and I apologize to myself every day for not being given something better, even though I don’t even know who to blame it on. Have you ever been injured in a car accident? No, I’ve been in veeeery minor ones. If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be? I’d love to be in a museum right at this moment. Have you ever had highlights in your hair? Never did like highlights. Favorite fast food restaurant? Jollibee. In what country were you born? Born and raised in the Philippines. Are your eyes more than one color? Nope. Have you ever caught something on fire? NOOOOPE. I’m scared of fire so when I do have to deal with it, I’m careful as all hell. What would you consider your biggest flaw? I’m way too sensitive. If someone takes even the slightest, most innocent dig at me, rest assured that it will stay with me and could change the way I look at myself. What do you think your best quality is? I’m fiercely protective of and loyal to my loved ones. I’d put them first before me any day. Some have noticed that I kind of sacrifice too much in order to benefit the other, but I’ve never seen that as a bad thing. My specialty, really, has always been being there for people. Do you enjoy listening to others' problems? I don’t enjoy the fact that they have a problem. I do enjoy that they trust me enough to tell me all about what they are going through and went to me for either support or advice. Do you keep any plants in your house? Yup, we have several in the living room. What is your mother's occupation? I have no clue. Last time I bothered to ask, she was some kind of secretary in one of the departments of the hotel she works in. Do any of your friends like your musical style? I don’t have a distinct musical style, that belongs to my other friends who give more attention to the aesthetic they put out haha. But none of them enjoy my punk rock taste, definitely.  What are you most looking forward to? Our field trip for our art studies class next Saturday. What was your favorite television show as a child? My first-ever favorite was The Wild Thornberries and Hi-5 with the original cast. Then I moved on to Spongebob, Fairly OddParents, Drake and Josh, and The Suite Life as I got older. Are you afraid of insects? Completely. Are you cold-natured? I’m not sure what this wants to refer to. How old were you when you got your first pet? I may have been 5 when I got my first goldfish. Did you/do you enjoy high school? For the most part, yes. I went through a lot, but the reward from it is that I learned so much about myself in return. I gained a lot of friends, finally knew which types of people I want to build connections with, and I also grew a lot closer with my batch that I will never stop referring to as my sisters. I never viewed my academics as very important since I figured early on that it isn’t going to matter in the real world and in the long run, so I didn’t stress myself out on them as much as everyone else did. My only enemy was the Catholic vision of the school. What would you say was your favorite age? 16 was my happiest age. What annoys you most about social networking? I hate that homophobic, transphobic, and racist people are allowed to have accounts. Are you the center of attention most of the time? Definitely not. What are you currently reading? I’m not reading anything but after this I hope to start on my readings for history class that I’ve been putting off for ages hahaha. When did you last go to the library? I have no clue. April? Are you ill at the moment? Far from it. Do people tease you about anything? Nope. How late did you stay up last night and why? Around 10 PM. No reason. I wanted to sleep earlier but couldn’t, so I watched videos and read articles to make myself feel sleepy. Have you ever written poetry? Only when I had to for English.  Curtains or shades? I have shades, but prefer curtains. How many people have you spoken to in the last hour? Two. Do you tend to text a lot? Yes, but the only person I text is Gab hahaha since everyone else is reachable on Messenger. Still, I text a lot. Ever lost a great best friend? Yes. Losing Sofie was kind of sad, but I got over it quickly. I also lost Gabie for a while. What is your favorite kind of flower? Answered this before. I love all flowers except anthuriums. I’m not sure about other countries, but in the Philippines that’s the go-to flowers for cemeteries and I’ve since grown to hate how it looks. How tall are you? 5′1″ or 5′2″. Haven’t checked in a while so it could be either one. Do you own any guns? No. I don’t have a reason to own one. What would you say is your favorite book of all-time? I’m afraid a book hasn’t had that much of an impact on me yet. Do you think you're living a good life? No. What's your least favorite part of the day? The afternoon when the weather is at its most humid :( Plus everyone just seems to be a little more dead at that time of the day. Are you an over-achiever? Hahahaha, no. No matter how well I perform there’s always someone else that makes me achievements almost laughable in comparison. Have you ever won an award for a speech? No. I’ve gained recognition, but not an actual award. Do you tend to curse a lot? Yes. Have you ever played on the Ouija board? No. Always been fascinated with it. Do you sleepwalk? I don’t. Have you ever slept on the floor before? Yes, I’ve had to several times. Are you a fan of public displays of affection? Fan is a creepy way to put it. I don’t mind PDA, people are allowed to hold hands and hold each other by the waist and such. It becomes meh when it goes too far like excessive cuddling, but thankfully I rarely witness that. I do remember one couple openly making out in Universal Studios in Singapore though. In a line for a ride. Filled with families. I wanted to make gagging noises so bad ugh. When did you last attend a yard sale? Years ago. Do you wish your life were simpler or more interesting? More interesting, of course. What goals do you wish to accomplish tomorrow? I want to get started on a homework for my major, and get more readings done. When is your birthday? April 21st. Which is worse: going blind or deaf? Bad question. What was the best part of today? Eh, it’s been pretty slow today. Nothing so far, really. Do you attempt to stay away from drama? Ugh for fucking sure, yes. I know some people who are still obsessed with high school level drama. It’s fun to watch it from afar.

What liquid did you last drink? Water. Do you ever prefer to be alone? Majority of the time. Have you ever had a deadly animal as a pet? No. My mom wouldn’t let that pass. Favorite Disney movie? Toy Story or Tangled. Have you ever been to the beach? Many times. If you have, how many times have you been? ^ What was your dream occupation at age ten? I wanted to be an author at the time, so not really far off from my present aspirations to work in mass communication. Are you terrified at the idea of weight-gain? No. I actually want to gain a little so that I can fit (nicely) into clothes that I do want to wear. I’m naturally thin and something that people tend to skim over about being skinny is that very few articles of clothing can complement your figure. Do you drink a lot of water? Yes. Love water. I’m responsible for finishing up the pitchers in the fridge all the time. Does your room have carpet or hard-wood floors? Hardwood. Do you take naps daily? Most of the time I can’t, since I spend the whole day in school. Who were you named after? I was told that I was named after the Swedish singer also named Robyn, but my parents’ versions change EVERY TIME I bring the question up. I have no idea why they can’t give me a straight answer. Do you plan on traveling this spring or summer? Yes if my dad happens to be home at that time of the year. Do you know anyone who is colorblind? I don’t think so. Have you ever been a teacher's pet? Ugh no. I stay away from that particular spotlight. What is your absolute favorite hobby? Exploring museums and other cultural sites :) I also love watching movies. How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Once. Twice at most. Ever been to a tanning bed before? No. I have no use for one and I don’t even know how to operate them, and I’ve seen the tanning bed part from Final Destination 3 enough times to know not to mess with them haha. Are you satisfied with your financial stability? I’m alright with my parents’ financial stability. Who is your favorite actor/actress? Kristen Stewart. I also like Kate Winslet but she’s in my shit list for now because she defended Woody Allen.

Are your nails painted? They aren’t. What's the meanest thing you've ever said to someone? When I was a kid, around 9, I used to tell my siblings all the time that I wish they were never born and that I were an only child instead, since I was always fighting with them for attention. I wasn’t raised a brat and I hate that I ever said that, and it’s really because of the environment I was raised in. I heard those words from my relatives and other people, and I just mimicked it because I thought it was an alright thing to say. Do you ever accidentally talk to inanimate objects? Yeah I say sorry ALL THE TIME to inanimate objects I bump into. What's your favorite flavor of ice cream? Cookies and cream and any flavor with an unusual concept. I tried spicy chocolate ice cream before, best thing ever. Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender? I would prefer to kiss somone of the same gender. Do you receive any hate mail? No. I got hate stuff on my Ask.fm once and since I don’t tolerate negativity on any of my social media, I went ahead and deleted my profile altogether. Have you ever sent a letter in the mail? Nope. If you could, would you have a pen pal? That seems sweet, but no. What color are the pants you're wearing? My shorts are blue. Have you ever had a stalker? I haven’t. What is your life philosophy? People don’t have to be blood to be family. Who last sent you a goodnight text message? My girlfriend. Do you own any clothes that are your favorite color? I have lots of black clothes; but as much as I love pastel pink, I have nothing of that color. Have you ever been in a hot tub before? Of course. What's your favorite comedy movie? White Chicks hahahahahahah.

[divinitions]

Bajillion Questions Meme!

Rules: Answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions!

Tagged by @finasol​! Thank you for tagging me! 

1. Coke or Pepsi: I don’t drink sodas, but I guess Coke

2. Disney or DreamWorks: Both!

3. Coffee or Tea: Tea! I can’t really stand coffee ;^;

4. Books or Movies: Definitely books

5. Windows or Mac: Oh, God, Windows hands down. It runs better and is a lot more versatile, and I don’t want my Mac to come crashing down to smoke if it runs any games (which happened to my friend’s acquaintance)

6. DC or Marvel: None, because I’m not a huge fan, but if I must pick, Marvel

7. Xbox or Playstation: Xbox is the one I play more, but I’ve got a good game for PS that I really like

8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: Uh, both, I suppose. DA2, DAO and the original ME trilogy, but I did not finish DAI (because I found the quests especially redundant, sorry) and ME:A (because I don’t have an Xbox One)

9. Night Owl or Early Rise: More night owl, but I’ve slept for an hour and felt fine, so there’s that

10. Cards or Chess: Cards, because I’ve never learnt how to play chess properly

11. Chocolate or Vanilla: Both, because food

12. Vans or Converse: Converse. I’ve never worn Vans in my life

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar: Lavellan, because let’s face it, you get an egg boyfriend

14. Fluff or Angst: ANGST! Angst all the way! I eat, drink, write, read and breathe angst! ANGST IS LIFE!

16. Dogs or Cats: Both, because why not?

17. Clear Skies or Rain: Rain, because it’s soothing and I have a reason to procrastinate, albeit a weak one.

18. Cooking or Eating Out: Homemade food is good, so cooking is preferable. Eating out is great too, I just have to be more careful.

19. Spicy Food or Mild Food: Spicy food. I grew up on spicy food so if I eat stuff that isn’t spicy, it’s not flavourful enough sometimes ._.

20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: Christmas, I guess. I don’t really pay attention to both

21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: Hot, because I’m used to it

22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be: Control and read minds, because it’d be nice to know what they’re pondering about. Otherwise, time manipulation, because I just wanna slow down and chill

23. Animation or Live Action: Animation

24. Paragon or Renegade: Paragon. I always go for diplomatic/persuasive options more than intimidation.

25. Baths or Showers: Showers, much more convenient and efficient, but a good bath once in a while to destress in is good

26. Team Cap or Team Iron Man: Neither, but if I had to choose, Iron Man. 

27. Fantasy or Sci-fi: Fantasy

28. Do you have three or four favorite quotes? If so, what are they?

“Nothing is true, everything is permitted.”

“Stop right there, criminal scum!”

“The Dragon awaits.”

“In the end, you return to the Gods as nothing (Omne reme a di re na).” -iirc, a translation of a line from the DA2 song Mage Pride

I need to remember all this stuff better

29. YouTube or Netflix: Youtube, because I don’t have Netflix where I am

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: None. HP is too black-white for me and while I did like PJ series, it wore down and I got too tired :/ 

31. When Do You Feel Accomplished: Uh, when I BS my way through a paper and get good grades :D

32. Star Wars or Star Trek: Not a big fan of both because I don’t follow them

33. Paperback Books or Hardback Books: Paperback because it’s generally cheaper. But hardback books are prettier.

34. Handwriting or Typing: Both, really. Handwriting when it comes down to writing quotes and typography, but typing for writing my fics.

35. Velvet or Satin: Satin

36. Video Games or Movies: LMAO I think this one is obvious enough

37. Would you rather be the dragon or own the dragon: If I am a dragon, the Dovahkiin can still kill me. But I’m THE Dovahkiin, so I’d own the dragon

38. Sunrise or Sunset: Sunrise, but I’d pick sunset for Skyrim because c’mon, the auroras are stunning :0

39. What’s your favorite song: Currently Troye Sivan’s “There For You”, but I listen to a multitude and they’ll change soon enough. KARD and Dean have great songs too tho, hnnng.

40. Horror Movies, yes or no: Um, I’ll pass.

41. Long or Short Hair: Long. I like it better that way even tho it’s a pain to deal with

42. Opera or Theatre: I’ve never exactly seen any of these so :/

43. Assuming the multiverse theory is true and that every story ever told has really happened somewhere, which one of the movie/book/tv show/game/etc worlds would you pick to travel to first: The Elder Scrolls universe would be great, mainly because I would like to travel across Tamriel, despite the draugrs and wolves, snow bears and mudcrabs. If not, Assassin’s Creed.

44. If you had to eat only one thing for the rest of your life what would it be: Eh, granola. Or salmon.

45. Older guys or young guys: Older guys. I know this is a generalisation, but most are more mature and responsible. Plus, I just can’t see myself with a younger man.

46. If you could erase any show from TV history, what would it be: No opinion on this

47. Singing or Dancing: Both.

48. Instagram or Twitter: I’ve got insta, but tumblr, really.

49. Lord of the Rings or The Hobbit: Lord of the Rings. I liked it better, though I am very partial to it.

50. If you could create either a sequel or bring back any tv show/movie, what would you choose: Eh, none.

51. Who is your movie/tv show character that you are looking up to and why?: None, if it’s TV/movie, but if it’s a game, then the guards in TES IV: Oblivion. They pop up everywhere, anytime, even when nobody’s there. C’mon, that deserves a reward.

52. If you were ever convicted of a crime, what would it be?: Shoplifting a gaming console, the games or taking money from the cash register. Pickpocketing, maybe?

53. Anime- subbed or dubbed?: Subbed, but I like listening to hilarious dubbed ones. Free! for example.

54. City or countryside?: Countryside, especially to those that are very lavish in nature and are situated in terrains that resemble those of Iceland, Alaska or Norway.

55. What book have you read over and over?: Colourless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami and The Book Thief by Markus Zusak 

56. What is your personality type?: You see, here’s the thing: I don’t know. The tests chuck back different results. Most likely ISFP but the tests keep saying ISTP - T

57. Would you rather change a moment in time or have a glimpse into the future?: Change a moment in time.

58.) Would you rather have an ex that you hate start dating your best friend, or have an ex that you’re still attached to hook up with someone you revile?: I’d rather just have the latter. I gotta let the ex go someday and it might just be much easier. Not exactly my problem anymore anyway :/

My Question:

59. Oblivion or Skyrim?: Oblivion has better immersion, better thought out quest lines generally (Companion quest in Skyrim was ??????) but Skyrim’s gameplay is great ( + Thieves Guild is a great questline)

Tagging @dxsturbxa, @damnlettuce and @198cm-of-vetra-nyx

[maliwarm]

Get to Know Me Meme

Tagged by: @supernovatype2 AAAAY THANKS FRIENDO!! 👈🏻🌝👈🏻

Rules: Tag 20 blogs you’d like to get to know better. 2 many 5 me. Denied. I’ll tag like. 5 people, tops.

Nickname: Jaz(za), Bite, Bark, and Mali!

Zodiac sign: Sagittarius!

Height: 168 cm, according to my license, tho I’d like to think (hope) I’ve grown a liiiiiiittle bit taller since I first got it 2(?) years ago. ;w;

Last Thing You Googled: The HTML for inserting links for mobile posts. :,,v

Favourite Music Artists: Akira Yamaoka, System of a Down, Sleigh Bells, The Living End… Also, Ashley Barrett’s voice makes me Weak, and Halsey’s pretty bloody neat too.

Song Stuck In My Head: A/0, Lewis Legend, and Castle. That’s more than one but Idc.

Last Movie you watched: Pretty sure the last time I watched a Full movie was Batman Vs Superman with dad maybe? P,,,,,; But (this probably only counts as a technicality), I saw a little bit of A Series of Unfortunate Events a couple of nights ago.

What are you wearing right now: One of my fav shirts (it’s comfy and loose and has GET LOST printed on it in massive letters lmfao) and pairs of stripy sort-of boardshorts. Which are also comfy.

Why did you choose your URL: My previous URL was waaaaaay too massive and I was smack-bang in the middle of a Bordorklands kick. So I chose one of my fav in-game gun manufacturers and edited it a little because I’m a “warm” sort of person, and also, some of their guns set enemies on fire. :y

Do you have any other blogs: O yah. I’ve got a few RP blogs - 3 in Battleborb fandom (but I’m thinking of deleting two cuz I’ve lost my muses for them…) - and I’m slowly working on a K’ blog atm. Then I have a small pile of hoarded URLs because I have no self-control but also might actually use some of them.

What did your last relationship teach you: That he was a Bad and slobbery kisser. 😂😂 Also maybe to like…. speak up with future partners about certain things they do (Bad and unexpected -UNWANTED - tongue kisses in that instance 👀) that I’m not comfortable with. Maybe even learning how to pluck up the courage to say: “hey. this isn’t working out; sorry” instead of letting my partner break it off for me (after cheating while we were still dating 🙄).

Religious or spiritual: Nope. Kinda wish I could believe in that stuff tho…. Might’ve made me less terrified of the thought of dying.

Favourite color: I frigging love pretty much any shade of blue. Similar colours like turquoise are gr9 too.

Average hours of sleep: *sweats* Like…. 11 or 12, generally, unless I’ve actually got stuff to do. Then it’ll kinda fluctuate anywhere between 3 to 8 or 9 hours, depending on how early I have to be up and how late I called it a night.

Lucky Number: I don’t actually have one. :,L I do have a preference for even numbers tho, so there’s that I guess?

Favourite Characters: *plucks K’, Maxima, Whip, Kula, Reyna Valeria, Shayne (and Aurox), Sub-Zero and Smoke out of a massive-ass bag of favs* There’s like a bajillion other characters I call my favs and we’d be here forever if I listed them all lmao.

How many blankets do you sleep with: One until winter hits. Then I tend to bust out two or three cuz I’m a cold-hating weenie. It kinda depends on the fluffiness/warmth and size of the blankets tho.

Dream Job: Probably a pastry chef or something similar? I just LOVE making desserts!! Being an accomplished author would be nice too, but tbh, I feel I’m too mediocre of a writer to achieve that ahaha… ^_^;;

People I want to get to know better: @lordoftheghostking28, @dxrkblaze, @caizero, @cosmicaces, @tacticianlyra

[doberbutts]

I'm not a dogblr (actually not really an anything-blr, just lurking and liking) and I don't post or reblog anything (for various reasons) but I'd just like to apologize for immediately taking sides in that whole shitstorm earlier-I read a few replies and vagueblogs about you and others without actually reading the original post/responses and jumped to a conclusion (which I find is unfortunately common here tbh). After reading everything later I realized that my view of the situation was (1/2)

(2/2) limited and unfairly biased and that you hadn’t actually done any of the things you were being accused of. I really respect and admire you and am glad I wasn’t a complete ignorant shitstain and ended up reading everything that went down, because I look up to you both as a dogblr as well as a person and I would hate for something silly (and unfounded) like that to screw with that. (I also learned that I’m a lazy piece of shit who needs to look at all the facts and not just angry vagueblogs)

I have quite a few followers with empty blogs that lurk and like- hello to you too!

Thank you for that. I’m still not really sure why everything went down the way it did. The entire situation was blown way out of proportion by a handful of people that I don’t even interact with and I don’t think ever have outside of maybe answering a few ask games, so it’s strange to me how they could claim they have some sort of intimate knowledge of my personal history or of my personality. And then people who I have spoken to, made nice with and chatted about dogs, join in saying how I am always mean and elitist and rude and they’ve been waiting to run me off tumblr for a while- that’s cool I guess it’s great knowing that I can’t trust anyone on this site.

Also I like the handful of anons who were going around saying they knew me from another site where I was always rude and mean- let’s see, the only other site you would “know me” from is chickensmoothie, and the people on there that don’t like me include:

the chick who has a bajillion animals in absolutely filthy cages that she’s incapable of caring for and so several of them have died from completely preventable things (told her to improve her husbandry before getting more animals)

the chick who bred a crippled hideous ambully to another crippled hideous ambully that died at a year old and kept two puppies with severe cleft palates for breeding (doesn’t like that I disapprove of breeding a dog with no health testing to a dog with crippling swayback, or that breeding deformed puppies is probably bad)

the chick with the dogs that keep killing her livestock that keeps getting more livestock that her dogs keep killing (maybe don’t let your dogs interact with your livestock and I’ll stop saying that it’s a bad idea?)

the chick with the “registered service dog” patterdale/APBT that keeps calling her mutt a purebred because she’s more game than any pure APBT and registration ID cards make things easier for her so she doesn’t care it makes things harder for literally everyone else (because both APBT and SD teams have things hard enough as it is)

the chick in a country where “pit bulls” and all bully breeds are banned claiming that her unpapered off color bbms are purebred APBT (your blue and blue brindle BBMs are mutts that are very illegal for you to have and you don’t sound at all knowledgeable to claim them as pure)

and maybe one of my exes and their ex gf (messy breakup, messier breakup)

oh yeah and the like 5 whiny white people who were mad that I told them that they didn’t get to sit there and tell a black person what is and isn’t racism, and the one otherkin kid that tried to convince me they have it worse because being otherkin is just like being trans except they’ll never be an animal and I can have a surgery to make me a dude, and the one white vegan that said she hoped my ancestors knew I betrayed them by making Creed into a slave- but I doubt they did anything with dogblr

All of whom I haven’t spoken to for close to a year or more now because I got tired of that site’s drama and left. Yes. Wonderful judges of character, wouldn’t you say?

But it really bothers me because I know you aren’t the only person who had this reaction, and this defamation of character + harassment + betrayal was a little too out of control over two sentences, an apology, and a “hey btw could you not register your dog”. Especially not considering only a few hours earlier I’d chased an actual neo-nazi off my blog with a lot more respect than that, and if my recent “punch all nazis” posts are anything for you to go by then you’d know that I have absolutely no respect for that shit. Somehow a gay, disabled, black dude was able to handle telling a nazi to fuck off a lot better than dogblr was able to handle a situation that didn’t need to explode but it’s cool it’s fine I’m good everything’s peachy.

Because you know it’s not like we didn’t have a ~educate, don’t hate~ and ~don’t send anon hate it’s mean~ kick going on but I guess that only matters for some blogs.

And the absolute kicker in all this is that one of the folks who started the shenanigans followed me a week after I turned my blog back on and occasionally reblogs or likes my things, but never offered an apology. So I guess I’m a rude elitist mean asshole when it suits their public narrative but when it comes down to it they think they’re entitled to interact with my blog as though nothing’s wrong with absolutely no “hey so that was pretty uncalled for”. Funny that.

I apologize- I’m sure you didn’t mean to unleash the torrent of salt but I am quite bitter and am reminded of how bitter I am about this every time I see that url pop up in my notifications or sit there in my recent followers.