#This is not a cry for help I promise :)
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I saw a spider in my house today. He is ugly and doesn’t belong here.
I let him be because if that is reason enough to kill him, I’ll have to break a promise to myself and I can’t stand to make my mother cry.
#spilled ink#spilled poetry#spilled thoughts#mental illness#words#poetry#spilled words#family#im actually fine#this is not a cry for help i promise#zaphs#zaphslostcat
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mmm thoughts of private executioner!blade, who is high priestess!kafka's bodyguard. well, more like her guard dog, as many fearfully seem to think.
he is aloof and gruff and rough around the edges, his name capturing it perfectly. when in the eyes of the public he either keeps to himself or stands ready by kafka's side, but when out he lurks in the shadows ready and waiting to carry out her death orders.
you, yourself, haven't had very many pleasant encounters with him... if you can even call them that. that being said, you haven't had many pleasant encounters with anyone. notorious for your... less than pleasant disposition, for a lack of better words, you have more people who'd rather see you run through than those you can call a friend.
in a dog-eat-dog world, you had no choice but to protect yourself. that, however, ultimately became your demise.
"oh? so you're the one sent to kill me. can't say i'm all that surprised."
standing before you is the feared executioner. his sword is tucked inside the sheath attached to his hip, that ever-present dark swirl of an aura stifling the air. he doesn't say anything, instead opting to silently stare down at your slumped and worn-out form. you find that his gaze doesn't bother you; rather, it's oddly comforting knowing someone will see you in your last moments.
"i've never asked you for a favour before, so this will be my first and last request for you." in all honesty, you're not sure where this chattiness stems from. considering you're currently in a holding cell under the crime of attempted murder towards kafka (a poisoned wine you were most definitely framed for, though you can't say you were surprised) and are awaiting for your turn to be under the guillotine for your public execution, you probably should be a little desperate towards the private executioner in front of you.
and yet, your mind is nothing if not peaceful.
with a huff, you relay your request, "can you make sure it's quick? painless, preferably, but i'd rather you just get it over and done with."
silence blankets the cold chambers. moisture accumulated along the cobble ceiling drip in a steady rhythm, like a clock ticking away the seconds. it's unnerving, almost, how there is not a single sound other than your impending countdown.
"why?" comes his low mutter, effectively causing a ripple within the stagnant air. you almost think you misheard him, but his following words cease the thought, "why won't you ask me for help?"
had it not been for the abrupt shuffle and clanging against the metal bars, you would have never looked up to see him in your last moments.
his scarred hands gripping the metal until his knuckles turn a ghastly white and blood dripping from his palms is what greets your sight. as your gaze slowly trails up, you almost let loose a laugh of disbelief; who would have thought blade, the infamous guard dog of the high priestess, could make such a desperate expression? one looking as though his whole world crumbled before him, in which he can do nothing but sit and watch.
(you will never know of the anger and desperation which coursed through his veins the moment he heard of your predicament. had it been anyone else, he wouldn't have cared. but you're not anyone else; you're you — unapologetically, wholeheartedly. it didn't take him long to hunt down those behind it, cutting them down without thought and putting an end to their miserable lives. he rushed as soon as he could when kafka gave him the order, no thoughts other than you, you, you, occupying his mind.
you will never know of the anguish which overcame him when he found you in such a state, your once healthy complexion and defiant gaze reduced to nothing but a tiredness which had always sat quietly behind your disposition. he's almost positive the muscle which unwillingly keeps him alive tore at the seams from your request, the acceptance in which you displayed causing his mind to go astray. even as he damn-near begs you to rely on him for help — to run away with him to some place no one knows of you and start anew there — you merely smile, resigned and peaceful.
you will never know of how much blade is willing to put on the line for you, for you never made it to see the complete and utter carnage he wrecked in your name.)
#what was initially a teehee shower thought became an ueue scenario#this was going somewhere and and then it got longer and longer and then took a severely angsty turn wtf#originally was going to keep this on the blog but then i cried at the end and decided it had to be let free <//3#im sorry blade i love u i really do but that just means i need to put u through the emotional wringer haha... ha... a....#oh and also blade is kafkas bodyguard bc she promised to help find a way to cure him of his curse#(<- the mara/immortality equivalent wow we love unneeded lore !)#and yeah. this is me saying i have too many ideas and aus and idk what to do with myself so im blurting them out here#this is yet another cry for help 🥹#sophie talks : concepts <3#blade x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#blade x you#honkai star rail x you#hsr x you#honkai star rail imagines#hsr imagines
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im tired
#kib art#elizabeth was unintentionally singled out regarding the sprites#oopsie#artists on tumblr#digital artist#digital art#fnaf#fnaf 4#fnaf 4 crying child#elizabeth afton#micheal afton#cassidy afton#the crying child#crying child#five nights at freddy's#lotta color symbolism here#so much color symbolism#you cant convince me micheal WOULDNT wear socks w sandals#i might draw william and ms afton sometime#no promises#question for the tag readers; why do people think CCs name is garrett#im so sleepy#its 2 am#help
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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GUYS THERE'S A JAYVIK SONG OH MY GOSHDJDH
#Currently playing this on repeat#GUYS HELLO?!?!??? HELLO?!?!????!! IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS#thank you marcus skeen for your glorious service#IM NOT CRYING YOU ARE#jayvik#IM NOT NORMAL#guys help me#currently walking through school hallways with this banger#arcane#IM SO NOT NORMAL#GUYS LISTEN TO THIS SONG RIGHT NOW FOR ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE#I'm sry I'll draw more transformers i promise#idc what others say this ship is canon to me#fight me#Spotify
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You're telling me. You're telling me. That David Lister. DAVE LISTER. stopped Rimmer from committing suicide. (Because that's LITERALLY WHAT THAT WAS. HE WAS GONNA UNPLUG HIMSELF and DIE.) he stopped him from committing suicide by. Comparing him to moonlight. Fucking MOONLIGHT. what the fuck what the fuck‽‽‽‽‽‽ AND IT WORKED‽‽‽‽‽
#sorry im just floored right now i need a minute#been thinking about this all day and i still cant comprehend#red dwarf#arnold rimmer#david lister#arnold j rimmer#whats their ship name i forgot someone help me out#rimmer x lister#the promised land#red dwarf the promised land#red dwarf spoilers#moonlight#omfg what the fuck i just thought about it again#thats such a normal dude bro thing to say to a guy that you definatly dont like at all man#jesus#christ#im CRYING#blorbos#blorbo#if they werent blorbos before they sure as hell are now#red dwarf fandom#tw sui talk#tw cursing
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maybe if i just put these screenshots together youll understand why i think their relationship just Works so well as it pertains to the characters and themes of S4 in general
neither of them know what theyre doing, but theyre figuring it out Together. the old ways are dead. and together theyll build a new future thats worth fighting for
#twdg#violentine#clems “i dont know” paired with violets “lets figure it out together”. screaming crying throwing up#clem never knew what she was doing!! she was just trying her best!! and now shes tired as SHIT!!! she wants a break 😭!!!#vi helps take that weight off by supporting her as much as she does (which is A LOT!! and clem supports her in return. they grow together)#that bit in the woods where instead of getting grossed out by the guts vi crouches down to ajs level and keeps the situation calm#and she looks up to clem and gives her a little smile. and clem just relaxes and smiles back !! DO YOU UNDERSTAND !!!#clem being anxious about her reaction. violet putting her at ease. clem getting to Relax for 2 seconds. they help each other CHILL 😭#ALSO why their walk home talking about ericson and renaming it and imagining what they could add to it is just so good narratively#they turned that prison into their HOME!! a place worth fighting for!!!#tenn wanting to help rebuild. vi saying Everyone will :') its a home for ALL OF THEM 😭 its about the COMMUNITY !!!#this is also why i think the friends route still works but theres just even more Juice with the romance. even ignoring minnie#violets “you better not disappear on me”. friended clems “ok” to romanced clems “i promise”#in a season about building a home and a family that second one just hits harder you know? and like above with the learning to dance#i just feel like their romantic relationship specifically fits into the overall themes of the game the strongest and elevates it#me talking at the wall (tumblr drafts)#all of my friends who have played twdg are too normie so i gotta make posts like this instead. or i'll die#wont somebody analyze narrative with me#it speaks
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I hate hyperfixating on a character. I'm like losing my shit that Tim's birthday is Friday. Like I've canceled plans to celebrate his birthday instead. Like all the fics that will come out? All the art?
I'm baking cupcakes.
But like, I can't explain this to my friends and family. Like oh, yeah, sorry, I'm not coming to your dance recital (it's 45 fucking dances and he's in 2 of them) because I would much rather stay home giggling and kicking my feet because the character I've obsessed over for 14 straight months is aging another year into his neverending teen hood. I'm still like stupidly excited though. Like it's his birthday, holy shit I love him I am him he's my blorbo God damn it and I'm going to cherish his day. And then I sit there and look at myself in the mirror and say "he's a goddamm comic book character, get a hold of yourself"
#And then I'll sit and cry over birthday whump first#And I'll love it#i'm normal about him#I promise#But like he gives me the good brain itch#I need some fucking help#tim drake#red robin#robin#dc comics#batfamily#batman
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i need to stop thinking about when jason and leo realized that the to storm or fire line of the prophecy probably meant one of them was going to die, this was jasons reaction:
"As much as Jason loved his life, he couldn't let his friend die for his sake. He could never live with the guilt."
And then that choice was taken from him, meaning, he was absolutely riddled with guilt. And then he was given another prophecy where it was him or a friend fated to die. and he was not going to let that choice be taken from him again.
At least they let him know Leo was okay right before he died. Even though they didn't get the chance to see each other again, he was able to make the choice and sacrifice himself for a friend with all his guilt lifted.
#like he was probably even more sure in that moment#because he was like well#one of us was supposed to die#and if leo came back and jason wasnt the one who died in this prophecy?#him or leo would be targeted by the fates in some other way#he was completing his story#and possibly helping keep TWO of his friends alive#okay i need to stop now before i start crying sdjfklsnjnklfsn#im writing this when im supposed to be working but#the jason thoughts#theyre nonstop rn guys#prepare for the ace jason grace essay that is coming soon i promise#jason grace#toa spoilers#percy jackon and the olympians#heroes of olympus#trials of apollo#leo valdez#piper mclean#the lost trio#pjo
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Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
…
Why did you ..
#sadnees#can you hear me#you broke my heart#this is a cry for help#heart been broke so many times#i still love you#the day i loved you#i loved you#i am in pain#heart break#you broke my fucking heart#heartbreak#heartbroken#please#please please please#please help#denial#hopelessly devoted to you#greif#you’re losing me#losing myself#did you miss me?#i miss him#did you go and make promises you can't keep?#how could i do this to myself#don’t let me down#just why#whyyyy#emotional wounds#spilled emotions
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nutcracker prince au alastor is cursed into his nutcracker form, unable to be anything but a toy for others to use and discard. charlie is the lonely daughter of rich socialite parents given the nutcracker as a gift, which she loves immensely and takes great care of. adam is the rat king trying to kill the nutcracker and alastor comes to life to protect charlie. husk is probably also there as the town drunk.
#charlastor#text#sorry to beat this au into the ground it’s all I think about#also sorry for making the same husk joke over and over i promise to do better#just not right now#hand to the window i LOVED the nutcracker prince as a kid it made me want to be a ballerina#TEN YEARS OF BALLET because that movie had a chokehold on me#the pas a deux STILL makes me cry idc!!!#also alastor might be a nutcracker but he still has the sharp teeth some things never change#god him transforming back into his toy form unable to help charlie HMMMMMM
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[PUT INTO PLACE, TIED DOWN AND ARRANGED, AND IS NEVER THE SAME, AGAIN.]<-listen to my favorite songs. VAMPIRES ARE WONDERFUL ARENT THEY. THE FLESH IS SO MUCH MORE DURABLE. SO MUCH STRETCHIER THAN HUMANS. THE STRESS DOESNT KILL A VAMPIRE THE SAME WAY IT DOES A HUMAN. YOU CAN TAKE THEM APART THREAD BY THREAD AND LEAVE THEM WIDE AWAKE WITHOUT WORRY OF THE BRAINMATTER SPOILING UNDER VINEGARY AGONY.
#cw gore#WEEEE WHIPPING OUT ALL MY BELOVED PIXEL HORROR GAME SOUNDTRACKS FOR THIS ONE#STILL A WIP#SORTA. FORKSFORKSFORKS INSPIRED ME TO START WORKIN AT IT AGAIN. AND NOW IT LIVES. IT LIIIVEESS!!!#MOSLT.Y ATLEAST. I MIGHT MESS W IT MORE LATER. WE SHALL SEE. ANYWAY GABRIEL MONTEZ HUH. WOW POOR GUY#THERES A FASCINATING FEELING THAT COMES WITH BEING ON A OPERATING TABLE.AND BEING IN IMMENSE PAIN#ONE OF MY FONDEST MEMORIES IS LAYING ON A DENTIST CHAIR. SHAKING AND INVOLUNTARILY CRYING AFTER MANY MANY#NEEDLES TO MY THE MOUTH. I METABOLIZE THE NUMBING STUFF QUICKLY APPARENTLY. THEY NEEDED ALOT OF NUMBING SHOTS#BUT I WASNT AFRAID OR DISTRESSED. THE DENTIST WAS VERYVERY NICE AND ALSO UH. PRETTY. BUT THATS BESIDE THE POINT#THE POINT IS. THAT IT WAS FASCINATING TO REALIZE MY PHYSICAL RESPONSE TO PAIN UNDER A CONTROLLED ENVIRONMENT#I DIDNT KNOW HOW EASY IT WAS TO SHAKE AND TO CRY PRYVIOUS TO THAT EXPERIENCE.MY DENTAL ADVENTURES CONTINUE#THEY CONTINUE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHAT ITS LIKE FOR PAIN TO BOIL AWAY THE TIME. TO DISTORT THE PASSING HOURS AND CONSUME EVERY THOUGHT#DO YOU REMEMBER PAIN? THE MOST SEVERE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE? NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE RED LIGHTS? RED LIGHTS AND SHIFTING FIGURES#NOW WILL YOU IMAGINE PAIN UNRELENTING.PAIN WORLD SHATTERING.PAIN IMMORTAL.CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING PULLED APART#THE HUMAN MIND CAN ONLY WITHSTAND SO MUCH PAIN BEFORE IT SHUTS DOWN AND HIDES.IT NEEDS TO PROTECT ITSELF AFTERALL. PAIN CAN ALTER#PAIN SHIFTS THE CHEMISTY OF THE MIND OF THE FLESH OF THE SOUL. FOR HUMANS ATLEAST. BUT YOU ARE NO LONGER HUMAN#YOU CHOSE OTHERWISE DIDNT YOU BOY.BECAUSE YOU WANTED MORE.STATUS.POWER.APPROVAL.SECURITY.SAFET.Y.#OHHH YOU CAN WITHSTAND THE PAIN FOR THAT. FOR ALL THAT. YOU WERENT TOLD THERE WOULD BE PAIN BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WERE PROMISED.#ITS ALL WORTH IT IN THE END. NOW LETS JUST HOPE SOME BLONDE TWERP DOESNT PROVE TO BE STRONGER THAN THE STRONGEST PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE#LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. LETS HOPE NO ONE FUCKS THIS UP. I LOST MY TRAIN O THOUGHT#anyway dawww poorr gabeee that shit probably huuurrrrtttss but so much time has passed that your body got tired of screaming and squirming#why havnt you passed out yet? maybe you might as well have at this point. like sleeping with your eyes open and your nerves awake#OH HEY FUNFACT ABT THE ART. I FOUGHT W IT ALOT. TOOK A LONG WHILE FOR ME TO BE REMOTELY HAPPY W THIS.#i was thinking abt pixel horror video games when i made it.just as i do with all great things ofc ofc#i love you pixel horror game i love yooouuuuu.i struggled so much w the colors for so LONNGG UHGHGHGH but im finally happy...im finally fre
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Only got a couple of weeks left of classes before my final papers are due! Their development is going along smoothly and I'm handling my current workload well. Anyways, completely unrelated, have some bits from the description of Rimmer's revision process
#This is not a cry for help I promise :)#Red Dwarf#Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers#Original Post#Praying to a god he doesn't believe in for a miracle that couldn't happen: a vibe
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Sebastian Vettel featured during Day 2 of the LA Sail GP 2023.
X
#sebastian vettel#ahhhhhhh#PLEASE#loml#bbygworl is thrivin having fun glowin’#pretty guardian sailor seb#✨majestic✨#he’s so cute please send help#mint sebtent just keeps coming and I keep crying#😭😍😭😍😭😍#sopping wet kitten I want to wrap in a warm blanket#promising rn I’m never getting over any of this#a little guy that is so interesting#they are happy to have him#sail GP showing him off loudly#we stan#sailgp#2023#seb
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i have some closeted friends online, and one of them just had something bad happen (not going into any specifics at all because of privacy) but like... THAT is why KOSA scares me. how are they supposed to get help? how are they supposed to feel safe ever? if the government can so blatantly try and censor LGBTQ+ identities, and neurodivergent people, and FUCKING GENOCIDE what's next?
and i don't really have to be scared like others. even though i am neurodivergent, it is not super severe, and i am cis straight white dude, i have life on easy mode. i hate when people have to hide and i want to help but i can't. i can't even hug them. the closest i can get is typing on my screen and hoping it reaches them safely and that they haven't died.
im not scared of KOSA because of what it would do to me, but because of what it will do to my friends, and people who are suffering like my friends, and people who are suffering in ways i can't begin to fathom. it's a very hard feeling to describe.
now the government wants to take that link away from me, from my friends who supported me in my times of need, and, hopefully, who i supported well too. it is a feeling of desperation and depression and anger.
im really just typing at this point, and im probably not making a whole lot of sense, but it basically boils down to this, and im directing this at YOU Senators and Representatives of the U.S.A:
Stop KOSA, keep our friendships intact, and ACTUALLY do something to protect kids you fucking inept dumbasses.
sincerely, a minor KOSA will not be protecting.
#stop kosa#kosa#kosa bill#fuck kosa#lgbtq#lgbtqia#box is fucking losing it#i want to help people#but helping over the internet is hard#but it is better than no help#so i'll try my best#i have to fight as best i can#we have to fight as best as we can#because failure will mean death for so many#...sory if im getting weirdly existential or high horse-y#but i don't know how else to say it#this is a promise to help you guys and gals and invetweens however i can#and i even if it fails#even if we do lose#at least i had you in my life#even if our time will be cut short#i hope i was something#a light or friend or something else#i hope i could make your day better#even if only slightly#god i wanna cry
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aug h .
#I am. So normal about Any Dark Cacao Update to kingdom ever#DEVSISTERS ENOYGJ OF THE BEATS LITERALLY JUST GIVE DARK CHOCO HIS TRAVELLERS FIT AS A XOSTUME AND MY LIFE IT YOURS#and pitaya’s. plea se#where was he devsis you gave hon some screen time in the trailer and then he VANISHED#beast yeast spoilers#but like#I know he was helping create that cure for the pale ailment but WE DIDNT HET TO SEE HOM MUCH ON SCREEN#only in mystic flour cookie’s thing she showed to dark cacao about how his kingdom would be fine without him#btw that king dark choco fit FUCKS I need to spin it like weird cat#but other than those two instances he was GONE#and when I saw the bit titled “the reunion” I really thought they were gonna meet again but NOPE#I WAS right about the deaths being fake ours and also i definitely didn’t cry from relief when I saw crunchy chip cookie was okay#I promise#anyway. where was he#dark choco cookie
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