#This is making me so upset
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ARGHHH I AVOIDED COVID FOR SO LONG.... genuinely so frustrating that my school has decided its not a problem anymore and reverted to pre-covid absence policies so half the damn class came in sick!!! keep other people safe and fail the class vs take the risk and pass. goddamn
#and of course lectures aren't recorded for students who miss :)))#this is making me so upset#i was hoping so badly it was the flu
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Shut up why is he so gorjus
#starkid#junior starship#starship starkid#this is making me so upset#grrrrr#brain holden#brolden#my beloved
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i apologize for bringing up evo but the last time jimmy was stuck in an empty town, he ended up working for the listeners and it drives me insane /pos
it was my 1st thought about tumble town being empty
Oh my GOD
NO YOURE RIGHT I.
head in hands ohmygod
#im going to start falling apart at the seams#thank you for pointing this out it's going to make me worse I think!#jimmy at his worse is vulnerable and lashes out and#what the heck#his vulnerability is going to make him willing to listen to anyone to get what he wants#WHICH IS JUST. BASIC HUMAN KINDNESS ACTUALLY#THIS IS MAKING ME SO UPSET#/Lh#/silly#ask#bordanbee
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Rp struggles
As a writer and someone who does RP, I hate it when I have a character that I love so much but I can't use her because she's a girl and my RP partner prefers male characters...
In this new RP I have three characters, two girls and one guy. It is very obvious he favors my male character. I have so much lore for the two girl characters and yes even for the male character, I don't discriminate while crafting my characters. My main thing is I put the character first, I don't care about the gender. However he sees my male characters and automatically is drawn to them first because they have d!cks. He's literally admitted that.
I just don't know what to do. I don't want to only make male characters but in order for them to have written screen time I feel like they have to be male. I am so proud of how I write my characters and I love writing my female characters, but he prefers my male characters. Honestly this male character so far has been so BORING for me to write because of this factor. I know the only reason he's liked is because he's a male character. I'm tired.
I guess I just don't understand why someone would prefer a character because of what's in their pants, probably because I'm asexual. I like a character based on their character, but he always likes a character first up because the character is a man.
I don't know what to do, I really don't and I feel like I've said that enough. I've tried to bring this up to him but he just brushes off my feelings, I don't know why. I try to always listen to him and honestly I wasn't even going to make a male character but I forced him in there because I know what he prefers. My first two designs for the RP were the two female characters, but then I got extremely anxious that he wouldn't want to RP if I didn't add a male character, so I forced myself to. Now he's overshining my other two characters, even though I'm convinced if one of my female characters was a male he'd be all over her. But no because she's a girl she gets side lined.
#Writing rambling#Writing vent#Writing rant#oc rp#roleplay#Roleplay struggle#RP struggle#I don't know how to fix this at all#This is making me so upset#I can't even look at her character without feeling so disappointed#I hate this male character so much but I'm forced to play him
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Thinking about the day I told myself I’d play guitar more then cut my finger so badly I can’t play anymore. Good times
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How to stop binge eating, no borax no glue
#merlucide’s rambles :>#this is making me so upset#I feel so huge ugh#and I’m scared I’m gonna die bc I don’t eat enough protein#anyone know how to get a eating disorder lmao /hj
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I think one of the hardest things is when I give so much of my time to listen to others talk about their interests, but they don't even have the decency to listen to me share even a little about mine.
Today, I was sitting with my sister. She was sharing about this new audio book she's been listening to. When she finished, I spoke up and wanted to share about the audio book I've been listening to recently. She just put her earbuds back in and didn't let me finish my sentence.
I want to be an empathetic person who listens to others, but it's so hard sometimes. Stuff like this really makes me want to be like, "you know, I don't actually care about this audiobook that you're listening to, and I'd rather not spend precious time listening to you tell me some long drawn out explanation of the plot and characters".
#original content#rant post#im sorry#this is making me so upset#i really just want someone to actually talk to about things
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fighting spirit
COMMISSIONS ARE NOW OPEN !!! check my pinned post for more details ⭐️
#why were they screwed over so bad#like#not caesar dying within the span of one part#and then joseph living till his 90s#my god bruh#they make me so upset#jjba fanart#jjba#art#jojo fanart#jojos bizarre adventure#joseph joestar#joseph joestar fanart#caesar zeppeli fanart#caesar zeppeli#caejose#battle tendency#jjba spoilers
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devastated abt champions tunic upgrade materials
#WHYYDDDD THEY MAKE ME SHOOT HER#WHY#totk spoilers#zelda#tears of the kingdom#totk#legend of zelda#zelink#consistency? i don’t know her#comic#dw im drawing them fr i'm on it#bro this is so upsetting though
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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my sweet old man who is genuinely too kind for the world he lives in :(
#decadentart#bloodborne#retired hunter djura#he makes me so sick hes actually so fucking sweet when i think about it#Yes i gave her a skirt. whenever i draw the people of old yharnam i slways give tbem little accesories :)#the colors are a bit wonky because i intially drew it Reeaaalllyy Dark also idk i picked out some weird ass colors for the pallete#every time you shoot him off that tower an angel looses its wings#legimitately got upset when i killed him for his set#made sure he didnt fall to his death though. thats called bullying when you knock him off btw#also yeah i hc that the beasts are chill w him . and slso he knows all of their names#first maintagged art on this blog. shudders. i hope the fans dont eat me alive im serious you guys scare me#the halo was necessary btw#so anxious…. SEND IT! RAHHH!!! MY AUTISM BLAST GO!
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rook falling asleep on the red couch in the lighthouse dining room while lucanis is making dinner....... they were helping out by keeping him company and peeling and chopping potatoes for a while there but then the potatoes are done and the room is so safe and warm and smells like coffee and good food and lucanis is trying to explain something to spite and his voice is low and soft and good to listen to and rook's eyes only slip closed for a moment. they'll get up to save the world again or whatever in a second just. one moment. while the world is warm and kind. and then they're being shaken gently awake an hour later because it's time to eat and everyone's starting to drift hopefully dinner-wards
#lucanis looking down at peacefully sleeping rook like '...I *have* to figure out more things I can do for them than kill or die#because that's a bit limited long-term and one of those will probably mostly make them really upset. (also you only get to do it once.#just not good value for the price as gestures of love go.)#but maker I WILL also do that' as he drapes a blanket over them. and maybe strokes their hair. don't look at me#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#do you guys ever yearn. are you filled with unspeakable longing. are you ever brought to your knees humbled and wrecked#before the altar of the mortifying simplicity and lack of grandeur of your own impossible desires. anyway#at one point rye is going to tell this man in a sort of bewilderment of joy and relief 'you make me feel so safe'#and he'll have to go 'you may be surprised to hear that that is not a sentiment a man in my profession gets to hear a lot usually'#'well get used to hearing it (bitch)(infinitely affectionate)'#and then they hug or something idk don't speak to me do not look at me
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they should work together idk guys
#‘what could’ve been’ pairings make me SO UPSET BUT ITS SO GOOD AND INSANE#need them to hold hands while solving cases together#if you’re gonna follow me you have to go through all my seven different art styles#literally every art I made for this pair are different like how did this happen at all#meronia#mellonear#mello#near#mihael keehl#nate river#death note#death note fanart#myart#hope y’all aren’t sick of me
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Your highness… I don’t feel so good
#I was literally getting the same feeling I got watching Jimmy’s empires 2 when I was watching scars stream from 2 days ago…#and then doc said THAT. full body chills. thanks#hermitcraft#hermitcraft s10#docm77#docm77 skyblock#hermitcraft skyblock#idk how to tag that man#art escapades#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#empires smp#empires s2#sheriff jimmy#tumble town#uhhhh idk what else to tag hopefully that covers it#idk… something about scar and Cleo and Joe all teasing him relentless despite the fact that he was obviously Actually upset#(‘I’m sure it’s actually fine but just. the vibes of someone who’s sick of getting messed with getting relentlessly messed with. yknow)#it makes me feel vaguely sick#again I’m sure they’re fine but idk man he sounded so mad#so naturally. whatever this is happened in my brain#I’m normal I just needed to get this out of my system <3#there’s some really interesting parallels happening here that I can’t quite put into worse#words*#so I put it into images instead… hopefully you’re getting my brain waves
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tf2 karaoke! 🎤🎶
(here's a list of the referenced+a couple extra songs)
#tf2#team fortress 2#if you are upset spy didnt sing...i do think if he tried it would be quite nice#maybe ne me quitte pas by jacques brel?#i think it would be like haunting and it would make everyone tear up even tho they dont know what he's saying#demo is sobbing.#soldier is also sobbing because he's not speaking english and he's so confused
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incorrect tweets pt 17/?
#guys I have officially surpassed 1k followers!!! actually insane thank you all#I’m gonna make a post about it and do a lil thing later but I have uni exams this month so we will see#911 abc#911 fandom#bucktommy#evan buck buckley#evan buckley#tommy kinard#lucy donato#chimney han#bobby nash#maddie buckley#eddie diaz#purple edit#incorrect tweets#911 incorrect quotes#incorrect 911 quotes#911 meme#911 show#911#also to the anon who sent me hate about the language used in my fake tweet yesterday and the way I spoke in the tags#I wasn’t going to answer because it upset me#but I will tell you that I’m a POC so does that change your critique of the words I used?#or does it make you dislike them more because I can’t tell
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