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#This is like the short version of all that I could write
kykyonthemoon · 1 day
Note
Hello, i've read your work recently and i'm in love with your writing! If you mind can i ask where the reader somehow remember their past life and saying sorry to the love and deepspace character? I wonder about their reaction where mc feels really guilty at them. Thank you <3
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Dear lonely-dreamer,
Thank you so much for the request. It took awhile but I finally managed to finish it. Since we know too little about Sylus (or even Caleb), I wrote for only the 3 first MLs. I might write something else for Sylus and Caleb later :3
Hope you like this piece. Have a wonderful day!
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Lost. Found.
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When you suddenly find the memories of the past lives, which you once lived with him.
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── .✦ Character x Female Reader|MC
Included parts in order: Rafayel, Xavier, Zayne.
♡︎. Tags: angst, hurt/comfort, short, myths related.
♡︎. Word count: 2k1
── .✦ Masterlist ♡ Request a fic - currently closed.
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Roam on, my love
down life's
long road
we will
be lost
and found
a thousand times
before
we meet again.
— ATTICUS.
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Rafayel
Talia came to find Rafayel in the middle of the night, while you were still half asleep, feeling his warmth slowly fade from the space next to you in bed. You sensed a major event had happened, which was why Talia hurried here alone at such a dark hour, looking so terrified. 
You had intended to go downstairs and make some tea for the guest. But as soon as you reached the stairs, Talia's voice echoed through the half-open door. 
"He will not be the last Lemurian to be slain... You know that, don't you, Rafayel? That we don't have any time left..."
Your bare feet paused. The cold air from the stone stairway touched your palm, waking you up. Yes, you were no longer dreaming. This was real. As real as everything you had seen since touching that protocore. During a mission last month, you happened to resonate with a strange protocore. It caused you to perceive illusions, but not quite so. They were like recollections from your past lives, fragmented and sewn together in front of your eyes.  The feud between you and Rafayel from a long, long time ago.
So you were aware that your tale and what Talia had said were related. Rafayel’s silence made her even more impatient. She added:
“They want her, Rafayel. They will come for you. I can’t convince them anymore… They will find her sooner or later. You already know the price…”
Time passed slowly in the dark corridor. You understood everything Talia had said, that the girl was you. What the Lemurians desired was inside your chest. You remembered, not everything, but vivid dreams told you what you had done to the Lemurians, to Rafayel.
But it wasn’t you. It was a completely unfamiliar version of you. 
A moment after Talia left, you entered the room. The warm firelight from the enormous fireplace filled the room and illuminated Rafayel's slumped back. When he heard your footsteps, he turned around with a feeble smile and asked: 
“Why are you out here, my princess? Did I and our unexpected guest awaken you?” 
You gazed at him for a brief moment. After all, you understood that every time he called you princess, it was not just a loving pet name.
You moved closer and hugged Rafayel. You had not told him about your dreams or what you had recalled. That night, you were determined to tell him everything.
Rafayel was astonished. The warm firelight in his eyes blurred, and pure white pearls began to tumble to the floor.
“I’m sorry… Rafayel… I’m so sorry…”
Rafayel seized your hands, drew them closer, and kissed them with his lips.
"To be loved, it's not a sin."
His fingers tenderly wiped the tears from your face. He had waited so long for you to discover who you really were, and at the same time he hoped you would never know. That way you could live your days freely, not bound by the hatred of the past. Yet you still remembered everything.
Your breathing became heavy with each sob. You said: 
“Rafayel… If you want my heart…”
"I want it to stay there," Rafayel said. "Within your chest. It's yours. Across the past, present, and future. I have never once regretted giving it to you. If you remember, you know I always try to rewrite our story, right?”
“But the Lemurians…”
“They are losing faith in me. I understand. But all I need is your faith. We will get through this and never be apart again. Do you understand?”
You did not dare to believe that there might truly be a happy ending for you and Rafayel. But in that moment, as you gazed into his resolute eyes, you realized that you would do everything just to stay with him.
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Xavier 
Lately, you had a hunch that Xavier was going to leave. 
Ever since you returned from that mission, there appeared to be an unseen divide between you two. You knew it was not him, it was you. The mysterious protocore you accidentally came into contact with during the mission caused you to see things. The dreams were fractured, with no beginning or end. However, you comprehended them as if they were recollections from your former lives.
You kept it hidden from Xavier. He merely thought you were acting odd since you returned, but he would not compel you to say anything against your will. You secretly searched for evidence to back up what you suspected. And you found it.
You knew about the Backtracker fleet. You knew about Philos. And you knew about Lumiere.
Xavier kept everything hidden for your safety. And yet, you kept this a secret because you did not wish for him to suffer. Again.
You still did not know what to say to him, or how to compensate for his loss. He had sacrificed so much, for you. But somewhere inside, you still felt a little resentful that he had left you all alone. You knew he was ready to make the same decision as when he abandoned you at Philos.
“Go to bed early.” Xavier stroked your head gently. “In a few days, when you wake up, I’ll be by your side.”
Lie.
“Do you really have to go?” You hesitated. “I mean… You could have refused this mission.”
You could have stayed. You could have told me the truth.
"I have to go." Xavier responded. He gently squeezed your cheek. "But I'll be back shortly. Do not worry too much. Remember to eat well and skip any meals. Don't stay awake too late. It's getting colder; remember to stay warm. If you are bored and miss me, you may play the video games I recently purchased or watch the unfinished movies..."
It sounds like you're not coming back! You held back the tears and replied:
“If you don’t come back soon, I might have to watch them all by myself.”
“Then I’ll have to ask you to tell me the plots.” Xavier smiled. He lightly kissed your forehead. “I’ll leave now.”
You sat on the sofa, listening to his footsteps as they slowly walked away. A slight "click" was heard as the door closed.
His mission was only an excuse. A few days back, you overheard him and Jeremiah talking. He intended to use this expedition to stage a phony "missing case" to distract those who had betrayed him. With Jeremiah, he would lead them away from Linkon, away from you.
He chose to leave you. Again.
Warm tears streamed down your cheeks.  All alone, what should you do? You recalled the scene in the past, in which you sat on the throne with the blessings of so many people, yet absolutely on your own. You had counted every star waiting for the day Xavier would return to you as promised. But he had completely disappeared.
This time, he pledged to return to you. This time, he would also break his promise.
You brushed the tears away. You had been thinking a lot in the last several days. You still blamed Xavier, but you understood why he had done so. And you had distanced yourself from him since you were unsure how to confront him. But, at this point, none of that mattered when you might lose Xavier again. Forever.
You raced out of the home. You did not care about the past. You had no concern what the future held. The most important thing to you right that moment was Xavier alone.
Unable to wait for the elevator, you decided to run. You caught Xavier standing outside, likely waiting for Jeremiah. You hurried over to embrace his back. To Xavier's amazement and your weeping, you stated:
“Don’t go… Xavier… Don’t leave me alone again… I’m sorry that I assumed you left me to find your true star… I’m sorry for not telling you sooner, that ever since I touched that protocore, I started remembering what happened in Philos… I know who you are. Who I am… So don’t think you can fool me again… This time, I’ll go wherever you go. Let me face it with you, okay?…”
Xavier did not have time to respond. You could feel his entire body shudder as a burning tear fell onto your hand, which he had just squeezed so tightly.
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Zayne 
"Doctor Zayne is out of danger. You can come in." Greyson's voice sounded out. Yvonne stood alongside him, relieved. You nodded at each of them and entered the hospital ward.
How strange, since in all the previous cases, it was Zayne standing here, and you were the one lying on the bed.
There was an attack on the outskirts of Linkon. You were sent to investigate, and Zayne had accompanied his team from Akso Hospital to treat the injured. While fighting the Wanderers, you encountered a peculiar protocore. It had drawn you into a bizarre realm where you appeared to glimpse the lives you had once lived, with Zayne.
You were not sure how long you had been there. It was like a dream, with no sense of time or who you were. You were lost down there, so deep that Zayne had given up everything to find you. The real Zayne, yours, in this timeline. 
The price of bringing you back was him lying there, fighting for every breath, body covered in wounds and almost completely frozen. 
The price of bringing you back was him laying there, battling for every breath, his body covered in wounds and almost frozen. 
You lightly stroke his frigid hand. Zayne did not respond but his heartbeat remained steady. He would live. That was what Greyson told you, and it was all you held on to that moment. 
Hope.
You stayed by his bedside all night, breathing life and all of your love into Zayne’s hands. When the first rays of the morning light woke you and the warmth returned to him, his eyes fluttered and gradually opened. You squeezed his hand.
“Zayne… Zayne… You're here!…” You cried out. You called for him and not completely him, but the Zayne of all the lives you had found.
Tears began to trickle down your pale cheeks. Zayne carefully wiped them away.
“Why are you crying?… I… did not go anywhere…”
You grabbed his hand and pressed your face against it. You kissed his hand aggressively, as if you were scared he would disappear again. 
“I don’t believe you anymore… You lied… You always said that I would live a happy life in the end… But then, you vanished without a trace… Did you think you could fool me again this time?” 
Zayne’s pupils widened. In an instant, his reaction shifted from astonishment to joy, then despair.
“I…”
"You know, right?" You dried your tears, halting whatever he was about to say. “You know that we don’t have just this one life. Right? You know that you disappeared in front of me in the jasmine field… You left me seeking for you among mountains and hills… This time, you really intended to leave me again… Do you believe that I could really live happily in a world without you?” You let out all your pent-up emotions through each word, each tear. Zayne stared at you with a mix of anguish and joy. You were aware of the same thing he was.
"I'm sorry…" Zayne spoke softly. His fingers cradled your chin and softly elevated your face. 
“Why should you apologize?… After all… The one who is most at fault is me… Because of meeting me, Zayne…” 
You trailed off. Choking. Your entire body trembled as emotions came to the surface. Zayne struggled to sit up, then drew you into his arms and embraced you hard. 
“Because of meeting you, I learned what it means to love someone. Because of meeting you, my world is no longer lost in ice and snow… I chose you. It will always be you…”
You let out another sob. You clutched to Zayne. “I’m sorry… I’m really… I’m sorry…” 
Zayne's weight was resting on your head as he kissed your hair. He rubbed your back to soothe you, like he always did. 
“It's alright now… It’s alright… When I came to find you and get you out of the protofield, I thought I wouldn’t have the strength to go back anymore… Yet I heard you calling my name all night long… You helped me find my way back. You found me. You saved me… This time, I have no intention of letting you go ever again.”
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brickmvster · 2 days
Text
An Old Flame (Leon Kennedy x Reader)
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Synopsis: After getting hammered at a club in attempts to repair a broken heart, in your drunken stupor, you call the one person you were trying to get over. He takes you back to his place, taking care of you, and it's then you realize that your feelings for him never quite dissipated.
Tags: breaking up and making up/exes to lovers, angst, fluff, a little bit of emotional hurt/comfort that goes both ways, reconciliation
Warnings: Drinking, mentions of alcohol consumption
Word Count: 6,309
Author's Note: I'm alive 😭 writer's block sucks, but I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things, I think. I hope you guys enjoy this!! Notes and reblogs are appreciated of course. This has been proofread, but if any mistakes still managed to slip by me, apologies in advance, they're all mine.
I imagined RE4R Leon while writing this but please feel free to imagine any version of him you'd like!
(Read on AO3)
Sobbing in a dirty bathroom stall was definitely not how you envisioned your Friday night going.
The fact that you were also considerably drunk and could feel the liquid sloshing around inside of your belly, threatening to come up your throat and all over the floor, certainly didn't make matters any better.
You had come to the club with a group of friends who were all far more enthusiastic than you to be there. You never considered yourself much of a party person; and if you were going to attend a party, it was always a small one with people that you knew or were at least acquaintances with. At a dingy nightclub, you were surrounded by hundreds of sweaty strangers, and the music was so loud that you were sure you were going to be temporarily deaf for a while. To make the long story short – you weren't looking forward to coming here, but you regrettably let your friends drag you out of the comfort of your home.
The stupid leather pants your friends insisted you wore were feeling too tight. The bathroom was so stuffy and unbearably hot. There were two individuals in the stall next to you engaging in… a certain activity that you really didn't want to be around to hear. And the awful, terrible smell of puke was probably one of the worst things you've ever smelled in your entire life. It was all too much, every single one of your five senses being mercilessly attacked.
You shouldn't have let yourself get wasted; you knew that, and you mentally cursed yourself for such reckless behavior. But the longer you sat at the bar, completely by yourself and with your friends nowhere in sight, it was like no one was there to stop you. You still missed him and you thought alcohol would be better at numbing the pain than a tub of ice cream. Both were terrible items for getting over a heartbreak because they both only made you want to vomit, which is something you always learned the hard way.
That's how you ended up in a stall, tears freely running down your cheeks in a drunken haze. Your friends were on your mind, but more than anything you just wanted to be carried out of here. You grabbed your phone out of your bag and opened up your contacts. But for some reason, instead of clicking on one of your friend's names, you kept scrolling further down, subconsciously searching for that specific name that you knew you should've just deleted a long time ago.
You clicked on the little phone icon, and listened attentively to the ringing on the other end. It rang and rang and rang, and it went on for so long that it almost snapped you out of the very stupid thing you were doing, but then–
"Hello?"
Leon actually answered. And even after all this time, his voice was still the most soothing sound in the world. You cleared your throat before attempting to put together a sentence in response.
"Hey… I'm… I'm, uh, in a gross bathroom at, um… fuck, what was the name of this place…" you trailed off, your cheeks heating up out of embarrassment. You rubbed your forehead, trying to think despite how hard it was to do.
Leon was silent for a bit on the other end before speaking up.
"___? Are you okay? It's… really late."
You chuckled, a burp coming out alongside the sound. "I know, right? What the fuck am I even doing here?"
"___, listen to me. Are you alright? Why did you call?" Leon asked. You could just faintly hear shuffling on the other end, and the unmistakable sound of keys jingling, as if he was already gathering his things before you even told him the location. Your heart fluttered at that and even more warmth was sent to your cheeks.
"No. No, I'm not alright. I feel really fucking sick right now and I don't know where my friends are and I fucking hate being here and-"
"Slow down, sweetheart," Leon said. If the alcohol didn't kill you, the pet name that Leon apparently still liked using for you would.
Leon fell quiet on the line, almost as if suddenly realizing the word that had slipped from his mouth.
"Sorry, I mean– look, tell me where you are. Do you want me to come and get you?"
There was a voice in your head screaming at you to just say no. Your friends were a text message away. If they saw the state you were in they'd take you home in a heartbeat. You knew the right thing to do was apologize to Leon, hang up, and get your ass out of the bathroom stall to find your group. But the alcohol was clouding your judgment, and the rational part of you simply didn't exist right now. Going back to Leon's apartment was like reopening a wound that had just healed. But you couldn't deny how much you needed him in this moment, no matter how pathetic it sounded. He had been on your mind the entire time you were at the club, and hell, even if you had been sober you probably would have ended up back at his place anyway. Because you simply didn't know how to stay away from things that you walked away from.
"Yes. Please come and get me." You replied softly, your words shaky with sorrow and guilt, your voice cracking.
"On my way. Stay put, okay?"
____
"___?"
Your eyes opened slowly. The side of your mouth felt wet with drool. Your brows furrowed as you took in your surroundings.
"___, are you in here?"
Your eyes widened a bit more upon registering whose voice was calling for you. You immediately sat up, trying to adjust your hair and straighten your shirt – before quickly giving up, because you knew no amount of adjusting would make you look like less of a hot mess.
"In here," you called out, not bothering to get up and open the door as your legs felt like they didn't work and any small movement would've caused you to expel your breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
You saw two feet stop right in front of the door. You recognized those boots anywhere. They were your favorite pair.
"Are you… decent? Can I open the door?" Leon asked. You nodded, before quickly realizing he can't hear the movement of your head.
"Yeah," you replied weakly. Leon did just that, opening the stall door slowly.
God, you wanted the ground to swallow you up right then and there. You knew you looked terrible, disgusting even. Your ex, on the other hand, still looked as gorgeous as ever, with his dirty blonde hair slightly longer than the last time you saw it and prettily falling into his deep blue eyes. He was wearing a form fitting black shirt that left nothing to the imagination with a pair of blue jeans and his expensive brown coat.
You averted your gaze out of pure embarrassment. Leon had never seen you in this state and you wish he hadn't. You wished you could turn back time and call your friends instead of him.
Leon kneeled in front of you in the cramped space, gently lifting your chin and making you look him in the eyes. The action only made you feel smaller.
"Hey, let me see you," he started, his gaze softening as he observed you.
"What happened? Nobody-" his jaw clenched. "Nobody did anything to you, right?"
You shook your head. You didn't trust your voice enough to speak.
"Okay, good. You just drank too much?"
You nodded that time.
Leon seemed physically relieved, his shoulders relaxing a bit as he stood back up. He held out his hand.
"Can you stand?" He asked. You muttered out something that sounded like a "yes," taking his hand and slowly rising off the toilet seat. You almost toppled over, but Leon was there to steady you.
"Put your arm around my shoulder." He instructed, but he was already moving your arm for you. You gladly took ahold of his shoulder as his hand held your wrist; his other arm was wrapped around your waist, holding you firmly. The two of you walked out of the bathroom together, ignoring the stares from other club goers.
The both of you made outside, and the cool air was a pleasant sensation to your extremely warm body. Leon helped you into your car, handling you like you were made of glass, before getting into the driver's side himself. He buckled you up first, leaning over you to pull the strap across your chest. His breath was fanning across your face, and you felt your heart rate skyrocket. You gazed at him with tired eyes, and he returned the eye contact briefly, his eyes mostly unreadable, but definitely filled with concern no less.
Once he was buckled up himself, he took off, and you just closed your eyes, hoping and praying that the motion of the car wouldn't cause any sudden hurling.
The car ride was mostly silent; aside from the radio that Leon had turned up slightly, playing some rock song, you were far too exhausted to say anything. You didn't even know what to say, anyway, and it seemed like Leon didn't either.
Eventually, when he stopped at a light, he spoke for the first time in several long minutes. "Your friends – did they abandon you?"
You shook your head. "No… I was the one who split from them. Told them I wanted to be alone."
"But they didn't even check on you?"
You glanced at him and noticed his tense jaw had returned, and his grip on the steering wheel tightened.
"They're all probably shit-faced, too." You replied dryly.
Leon sighed. "I… sure, I guess. Then that brings me to my next question… Why did you go over your limit? You could've put yourself in danger."
You shrugged, gazing out the window.
"I really don't know," you lied.
"God, ___, don't do something like this again. Please." Leon replied.
"I'm… sorry." You said. What you were apologizing for exactly, you weren't sure. For worrying him? For making him come all the way out here to save you like a damsel in distress? The more you thought about it, the more you leaned toward all of the above.
Leon seemed to relax again upon hearing your soft-spoken apology. "There's no need for that, I just…" a sigh. "You should rest. We're almost home."
Home.
You let your eyes slowly drift closed again. The last thing you saw was the sight of Leon driving with one hand, still wearing that unreadable expression.
____
Leon was quick to help you out the car after finding a parking spot. He guided you up the steps to the second floor of the complex, walking to his door. You leaned against him while he fiddled with his keys.
He eventually got the door open, helping you walk through the door. As he walked you through his living room to the bathroom, rather slowly as your feet were slightly dragging across the floor, you took in the familiar space around you. Leon's apartment was, of course, just how you remembered it. He had few decorations, most of them put up by you. His raggedy, but deceptively comfortable couch was somehow still standing strong. His place looked well lived-in; not terribly disorganized, just slightly cluttered. Given the nature of his career and how often he was away, he was never home long enough to let huge messes pile up anyway. You felt a smile tug at your lips as memories crawled back into your mind.
You remembered shopping with Leon for his decorations shortly after you moved in. He pretended to be indifferent, but you'll never forget the grin on his face as he helped you hang up some abstract paintings with poorly hidden amusement. That very couch was often where you spent your time resting your head on Leon's shoulders, or sometimes his head on your lap. The kitchen was where you and Leon made huge messes together, doing more kissing than cooking.
But your smile slightly faded as memories of the tail end of your relationship tainted your mind. Waiting alone for Leon to return home for a mission, worrying yourself sick. Sometimes Leon was distant, going from attentive and caring to cold and unresponsive in a heartbeat. You knew his trauma made it difficult for him to be fully present in the relationship – but sometimes you acted harshly anyway, both out of frustration and out of concern. His career was eating away at you, too.
The sound of running water pulled you out of your thoughts. You quickly registered that Leon had sat you down on his toilet. After wetting a washcloth, he leaned down in front of you again.
"I'm just gonna wipe your face, alright?" He said. You nodded, closing your eyes.
Leon wiped your face with the washcloth ever so gently, dabbing away dried drool and removing the light sweat that had formed across your forehead. He even went as far as to brush your teeth for you, thoroughly reaching every inch of your mouth to the best of his ability. Somehow, even during this, you found yourself dozing off a few times.
"You don't have to wash up now if you're too tired." Leon said once he had finished a portion of your nighttime routine for you. He stood in front of you while you were still seated, waiting for your next move.
You wanted nothing more than to wish the stink of the nightclub off your skin, but your eyelids were getting heavier by the second.
"Take me to bed, Leon." You muttered, wrapping your hands around his waist and leaning against his torso.
Leon found himself grinning at how much of a koala you became when sleepy and drunk. With one hand, he played with your hair for a bit as you continued holding him. You sighed contently as you felt yourself slip away in the sensation. Leon looked down at you, feeling something tug at his heart strings at how vulnerable you looked like this. The warmth from your arms around his waist brought Leon to a painful realization – that he missed your touch more than he thought.
Leon tried to store that thought away. You'd be gone by the morning, right? He couldn't allow himself to open up to you after all this time. You had made the choice to walk away and as far as he knew, you hadn't changed your mind.
He gently tapped your arms, causing you to stir a bit.
"If you want me to take you to bed, you have to get up first." He said teasingly. You groaned, but reluctantly did what he asked. Even while standing, your eyes were barely open.
"Do you wanna change?” He asked.
“Into what?” You said sleepily, words slurring together.
“I can give you one of my shirts and a pair of my pants. I don't mind.”
You just nodded, leaning into Leon's side, your head falling onto his shoulder.
Leon walked you to his bedroom, grabbing some clothes for you as you stood there patiently, your eyes half open. He gave you an old shirt of his and some gray sweatpants.
You began stepping out of your gross nightclub clothes right in front of Leon, who didn't seem to mind – he helped keep you from stumbling as you got dressed.
“This is so much better.” You said, feeling free and unconstrained now that you were out of those awful leather pants. Leon found himself holding back a grin at the way you were happily rubbing at the fabric of his shirt.
“Let's get you to bed.” He spoke.
He assisted you in getting cozy under the large comforter, even going as far as to tuck you in.
Leon's scent washed over you as you sunk into the softness of his mattress. You almost instantly succumbed to slumber, subconsciously burying your head into Leon's pillow.
For a long time, Leon just stared.
You were safe now, finally out of that awful nightclub and resting comfortably. He felt the tension leave his body, and he could finally go about his nightly routine at ease knowing you were taken care of.
Seeing you in his bed like this reminded him of the nights he came home late. Those nights, he'd crawl into bed next to you, holding you close as if you'd disappear into thin air. Strangely, despite the fact that he was looking directly at you, this was another moment where he felt like you'd cease to exist if he so much as looked away.
But he eventually forced himself to look away, sighing to himself as he went back to the bathroom to freshen up himself. He decided to sleep on the couch, falling asleep with you in his mind and still feeling the phantom touch of your arms around his waist.
____
Upon slowly opening your eyes, squinting slightly at the sunlight filtering through the room, it didn't take you long to notice the splitting headache that pulsated uncomfortably right behind your eyes. You also took note of the fact that you were clad in Leon's clothing.
You pinched the bridge of your nose, your face bunching up in pain at your awful hangover. You were mentally chastising yourself, as you knew that this terrible headache could've been easily avoided had you not gone past your limit the night before. It was at the moment, as you were lying on your back and staring at the familiar sight of Leon's apartment ceiling, that all of the memories from last night came rushing back to you.
You felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment, feeling a sense of shame wash over you. You barely remember anything from last night, but you knew that when you were shit-faced you turned into a giant child, and you were already feeling apologetic for putting Leon through your drunken antics. You didn't even want to get out of bed and face the man.
So, you did just that; you lied there for a few extra minutes, absolutely dreading the moment when you would have to get up eventually. You sighed, rolling over on your side, facing the closed bedroom door. It was then that you noticed the tall glass of water and bottle of painkillers on the bedside table.
You sat up slowly, feeling your heart warm at Leon's thoughtfulness. You took one pill from the bottle, swallowing it down in one large gulp of water.
You also noticed your phone on the table. Curiously, you checked to see if your phone was even alive – which it was, much to your surprise, but the battery was low. You saw numerous text messages from your acquaintances last night. Some of them were just talking about how much fun they had and thanking you for coming out. Others seem concerned about where you had gone. You didn't feel like replying to any of them, so you promptly shut your phone off. You needed to save your battery, anyway, as you didn't have a charger. You left your phone in its place on the table.
You sat in Leon's bed for a little longer after that, sighing to yourself, before getting up to go find where he was.
You didn't have to look very far after opening the door; there Leon stood in the kitchen, occupied with making breakfast. It seemed like he didn't notice your presence at first, so you took that opportunity to gaze at him, grinning softly at the concentrated look on his face as he flipped over a pancake, his hair falling into his eyes. He looked cuter than ever, clad in his well-loved plaid pajama pants and a loose black shirt. It felt strange, seeing him like this again after so many months.
“Morning, sleepyhead.” Leon suddenly spoke, still turned away from you. You were slightly startled, quickly averting your gaze.
“Morning,” you said softly. “Did you know I was standing here the whole time?”
“Of course I did,” Leon replied, finally turning to you with a pretty smile on his face, one that you couldn't help but immediately return. “Government training helped me with my awareness, y'know.”
You chuckled at that, making your way over to the dining table and taking a seat. Resting your chin in your hand, you watched Leon lovingly, a comfortable silence settling between you.
“Need a hand with anything?” you asked.
“Nah, it's alright. I'm almost done, anyway.” Leon replied. “By the way, how did you sleep?”
“Like a baby. I forgot how comfortable your bed was.” you said.
Leon grinned. “That's good. And your head?”
“It's feeling better. Thanks for the medicine, by the way.”
“Of course.” Leon replied.
Eventually, he carried to the table two plates of food, along with two tall glasses of orange juice. It was a simple breakfast, consisting of just pancakes, but it was totally fine by you. They looked fluffy and perfectly cooked and you didn't hesitate to dive in.
Leon just watched you eat in silence, a small grin on his face as he watched you do a little happy dance upon taking a bite. He wasn't really showing it, but he was very pleased with himself; not just because he made you a decent plate of pancakes but because you were here with him, out of that grimy nightclub, content and being taken care of. Leon felt a tug at his heartstrings as he realized just how much he missed taking care of you.
“Leon. Are you gonna eat?” you said with a chuckle, nearly done with your food. Leon seemed to snap out of whatever trance you had put him in, quickly glancing at his untouched plate of food.
“Yeah. Sorry.” He said in a slightly bashful way that made you swoon. He finally had begun eating, thoughtfully chewing, taking his time.
You leaned back in your chair, feeling completely satiated. For a while, the two of you just sat in comfortable silence. It dawned on you that eventually you'd have to leave, sadness beginning to wash over you like waves.
“What's the matter?” Leon suddenly spoke. “Be honest, were the pancakes actually terrible?” He said jokingly. That got you smiling again, and you let out a small, half-hearted laugh.
“Leon, they were fucking amazing,” you replied sincerely. You smiled then faltered a bit. “I just… I still feel bad.”
Leon, who was also sitting lax in his chair, had straightened up, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as he gazed warmly at you.
“About?” He inquired.
You sighed, looking down at your lap. Suddenly eye contact was too much right now.
“For last night. I know I've already apologized but… seriously, I'm really sorry for making you drive all the way out there. And for worrying you.”
Leon shook his head, looking at you with an expression that could only be read as sympathetic.
“I've said it before and I'll say it again – you don't have to apologize, okay? If anything, I'm glad you called me. It meant that you trusted me to ensure your safety; and that made me feel good.”
You felt your heart warm at that. You continued to stare down at your lap, twiddling your thumbs, still hesitant to let him into your gaze.
“Can you look at me? Please?” Leon said ever so softly. The gentle, almost desperate tone of voice was enough to get you to finally raise your head and meet his eyes.
“There you are,” he said fondly. “I want you to know that you can always call me. For anything. And if you need me, I'll be there. We're not… together anymore but that doesn't mean I'm just gonna step out of your life, okay? I still care about you. Always will.”
You were effectively silenced, so deeply touched by Leon's words that you couldn't even produce any of your own. Suddenly your vision began to blur and your bottom lip was quivering.
Your friends – really, just your co-workers – who had practically forgotten about you at that club? They probably didn't care about you all like they claimed to. But if there was one person that would always stand up for you, help you, tend to your needs – it was Leon. It had always been him.
With a shaky voice, you responded, “Thank you, Leon. I… still care about you, too. So much. I totally owe you after last night.” you said with a playful smile, although you were honestly very serious.
“No, it's okay. You don't owe me anything. I was just doing what a good friend is supposed to do.”
Friend.
You brushed the word off, ignoring the pang of disappointment that hit you. You simply smiled at him.
Clearing your throat, you started another topic. “So, um… I guess since I'm here, we should catch up a bit. It's been so long since I've last spoken to you.”
Leon shrugged. “Honestly? I don't have much to catch you up on. I've just been doing what I always do, lounging around, working, occasionally going out with Claire and Chris. You know me, I'm a boring guy.”
“You are not at all boring, Kennedy,” you said teasingly.
“You know, it's okay to admit it.” He replied, and you could only shake your head, laughing quietly to yourself.
“You're literally a government agent. That's the opposite of boring.”
“Well, what a lot of people don't know is that being a government agent also comes with a shit-ton of paperwork.”
“I suppose,” you said with a completely playful roll of your eyes. “Anyway, Claire and her brother doing well?”
“They're doing great. They're always asking about you.”
You felt guilt begin to rear its ugly head at Leon's comment. “I haven't spoken to them in a while too… God, I'm terrible.” You said.
“Hey, don't make it a huge deal. They know how busy you are. They still care about you too. You could go a thousand years without speaking to them and they'd still be excited to hear from you.”
“That's nice to know.” You replied. You made it a mental note to get in contact with them soon.
The dining table fell quiet again. There was this undeniable tension in the air, one that the two of you couldn't shake. As much as you hated to admit it, you had missed sitting at Leon's dining table, sitting across from him specifically, sharing peaceful mornings together. You knew that eventually you'd have to leave; you'd part ways with Leon once more. You wish you could say that'd be easy to do.
Leon pulled you out of the recesses of your mind when he suddenly stood up, grabbing the two plates and cups. You silently watched as he went over to the sink, turning on the faucet.
Without even thinking, you stood up as well, joining him in the kitchen.
“Let me help you,” you said, not even giving him the choice.
Leon shook his head, like you knew he would. “It's alright, I got it. I know you've probably got things to do, so I understand if you need to go-”
“Things to do? Like what?” You interrupted with a playful grin. “I want to help, Leon, please.”
“It's only a few dishes.”
“I know– look, stop being so stubborn and let me help. Please.” You said, taking a plate out of his hand and grabbing a washcloth to help with drying. Leon just chuckled, having paused his washing for a bit to admire you.
“You haven't changed.” He spoke.
“What do you mean?” You asked as you put the plate back in its respective cabinet. You didn't even need to ask where it went – it was muscle memory for you.
“I mean… always wanting to help with stuff. It's what I've always liked about you.” Leon replied, handing you a newly washed cup. You took it, slowly, still processing his words. You felt a certain warmth throughout your body, trying to distract yourself from the feeling by rather furiously drying the glass.
“That's just how I am. Can't help it.” You replied shyly, your voice coming out small.
“I know. You should consider being an agent since you like helping so much.” Leon teased. You were putting the glass up when he had said that and weren't looking directly at him, but you could hear the smirk in his voice. It made you smile.
“Absolutely not.” You replied immediately, to which the both of you broke out into laughter, the sound filling the kitchen.
The two of you finished doing the dishes fairly quickly, falling into an easy rhythm. It all felt too familiar. The both of you fell into your usual banter so easily, and it was almost like you two hadn't just spent months apart.
You ended up helping Leon clean his entire kitchen after the dishes, chatting with him every second and moving around each other with the sort of ease you can only get when you've spent enough time in one place to memorize everything. You told Leon that you didn't mind helping him knock out a few chores, which was true; you knew how busy he was and how he was usually too tired to take care of things like this himself. But deep down, the true reason why you were still here was because you just didn't want to leave. But you kept that part buried within you. It was difficult coming to terms with what that meant and you didn't want to think about it.
“Does anything else need tidying?” You asked him once you finished wiping the kitchen counter. Leon looked around, seemingly thinking for a moment, before shaking his head.
“Nah, it's all good. But I appreciate it.”
Your grin faltered a bit. You knew you had to go. You had been here for hours now.
“Ah, okay,” you said, trying to hide the dejection in your voice. “Well, um… I guess I should get out of your hair then.”
Leon perked up at that. “You don't have to leave.” He said quickly. He then cleared his throat, looking away. “I mean, uh– if you don't want to, you can stay as long as you want.”
You wanted to more than anything else. But the right thing would be to leave, even though that went against your heart's desires. Who knows what you'd end up saying– or doing– if you stayed. Whatever it'd be, you'd probably regret it.
“I should really go.” You said quietly. Leon just silently nodded. His expression was unreadable yet again.
After making sure you had all your belongings, and unfortunately having to change back into your cursed club outfit for the time being, you now stood in front of the door. Leon had changed out of his pajamas too, looking as handsome as ever in a simple pair of jeans, a black shirt, and boots.
Since your friends had driven you to the club, and Leon drove you to his place, he'd have to drive you back. You were waiting for him after he had said he had to find his keys. You took one long, final glance around his house as you stood there with a heavy heart.
Quite a bit of time had passed, though, and you were about to call out to Leon, as you noticed he seemed to be taking longer than you expected. You figured he just needed help searching for his keys, so you jogged over to his bedroom, where you saw him enter.
When you walked in, he was kneeling in front of a cardboard box. His closet door was open, so you presumed that's where the box came from. Your brows pinched together in confusion.
“Leon? I can help with finding your keys-”
“Oh, I have my keys. I just, um… suddenly remembered something.” He said, a bit cryptically.
You were still visibly puzzled. “Remembered what?” you asked, walking a bit closer to see the contents of the box. And then you realized.
In the box was some jewelry of yours, one of your shirts, and a bottle of perfume that you had forgotten at his home ages ago.
Your heart warmed at the fact that Leon kept them safe and tucked away in his closet, almost as if he was waiting for the day to return them to you.
“I completely forgot about these,” he said, standing up to face you. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry. I've been meaning to give these back.”
You just smiled, feeling so incredibly touched and endeared.
“It's okay, Leon. I didn't even realize I was missing these items.” You said with a chuckle. You kneeled down yourself, sifting through the contents of the box and reminiscing. The perfume especially reminded you of so many date nights and all the times Leon told you how nice you smelled.
“You know, that reminds me,” You began, feeling the cotton of your old, worn t-shirt that lay perfectly folded in the box. “I think I still have one of your sweatshirts. The old RPD one.”
You knew you did. It was still in your closet, hidden away. Not forgotten, just out of sight.
“You can keep it.” Leon said. “You looked better in it anyway.”
You felt that familiar heat rush to your face again. Even after all this time, his words still affected you.
“Well, um… thanks.” You replied.
“It's nothing.”
You stood up, holding the box, and the two of you walked back to the door. Every step felt heavier than the last.
You watched as Leon was about to open the door for you. But in that moment, as he was about to turn the knob, something within you snapped.
“Wait.” You said.
Leon paused, turning to look at you. “Did– did you forget something?” He asked.
You shook your head. You slowly put the box down on the floor, gently kicking it aside.
“I don't wanna leave, Leon.”
Leon still seemed perplexed. “I told you, you can stay as long as you-”
“No, I mean… I'm not leaving… again.”
It didn't take long for the realization to hit Leon. He was silent for a bit, unsure of how to proceed, or what to say.
“I need you to be more clear.” He said simply.
You stepped closer to him. You nearly reached your hand out, wanting to gently stroke his hair like you always used to do, but you weren't sure if he was ready to jump back into physical affection like that. You restrained yourself.
“I want to try again, Leon. I'm so sorry for how I treated you. At the time, I didn't understand your trauma – I failed to accommodate you. When I left… I realized how shitty I had been. How much I had missed you. I dated other people and none of them gave me what you did. You were too good to me and I was too selfish. I'm sorry, and I want you to know that I've grown. I will try my best to meet you where you are from now on if you just let me back in.”
You said all of this while staring directly into Leon's captivating eyes, sincerity in your tone and in the way you gazed at him. You hoped Leon could feel your guilt. Your remorse.
Leon just stared back, stunned into silence. You could tell his mind was racing, searching for what to say, processing everything you had told him. You were prepared for him to say no. You were bracing for the heartbreak. You wouldn't be upset, no. You'd be understanding. You were ready to leave for good if that's what he wanted.
But heartbreak isn't what you got.
“Thank you. For apologizing.” Leon said. “I should, too. I wasn't being totally honest about my line of work. And dating a government agent isn't necessarily an easy thing to handle. It was probably traumatic for you, too, seeing me come home so damaged, physically and mentally.
“And for the record, I don't think you were being selfish. You wanted to help, I know you did, you just didn't know how and it was frustrating.”
You felt a stinging sensation in your eyes, your emotions nearly meeting their boiling point, tears threatening to spill. Deep down, you didn't think Leon had anything to apologize for, considering everything he's been through and seen, but you were appreciative of his apology nonetheless. It warmed your heart to know that he never resented you when you were together, like you always thought he did.
“So… should we try this again?” you said, a playful glint in your watery eyes.
Leon grinned. “We should.”
At that, you couldn't hold back any longer. You went in for a hug, wrapping your arms around his neck snugly. He wasted no time in wrapping his around your waist. Being back in his arms again felt like a dream.
You brought a hand up to his hair, running your fingers through it. You felt Leon relax even more at the soft touch.
With your lips close to his ear, you whispered:
“I never stopped loving you.”
Leon pulled away a bit, his hands just lightly resting on your waist.
“Neither did I.”
A pause. You felt his breath fan across your face.
“Can I kiss you?” You asked, already grinning like a lovesick teenager.
“Please.” Was all Leon said before you leaned in, your lips finding purchase on top of his, bodies pressed close together.
You had a hunch that making yourself at home again wouldn't be difficult at all.
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eastern-lights · 3 days
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I honestly think reducing the amount of choices from the previous games was a good thing. Or necessary, at least.
It doesn't mean that your choices don't matter. Majority of the epilogues from Origins are never mentioned again, does that mean they don't matter? Of course not. We need to start enjoying choices for what they do in their own game, not for some distant hope of a future cameo.
Frankly, the branches of the story were becoming too sprawling. Reducing their number was the only way to ensure all of us are still playing the same game.
It's been 10 years in game. Most consequences of your actions aren't that far reaching. It is extremely likely the political situation in the South would have stabilized itself eventually no matter who the Inquisitor supported.
As for who rules Ferelden and Orlais, it just isn't going to be relevant in Veilguard. The only way it could be would be if they wanted to shoehorn in an awkward shoutout or a cameo that has no real purpose in the story (looking at you, Alistair randomly showing up in Kirkwall).
Who sat on which throne mattered in DAI because it was a political game. Moreover, it was a culmination of the political uproar set up by the previous games.
But that's been resolved and we as Rook have more important matters to attend to. Why should a rando in Tevinter care who rules Ferelden (or that Morrigan has a kid for that matter) when the world is ending?
Your choces do matter. They're just not relevant to Rook at this point in time.
(As for the Well, there is a very good lore-friendly reason why it ultimately matters little - the short version is that Morrigan, not Solas now wields that part of Mythal's power and she values independence above all else - she would never enslave Inky.)
It is impossible to write a good story if you have to make it work for like 30 different world states. It would have been bland and generic. If Bioware has found a world state that all previous ones logically converge on, more power to them, because they could have just as easily simply declared the "Bioware canon" the only canonical world state.
We got the best outcome of a bad situation.
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nemaliwrites · 3 days
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happened upon this article today, and damn if it didn't get me thinking
i've wondered a lot before about how the same story can be told through different mediums [which primarily can be seen through adaptations] but one thing i don't spend enough time thinking about is how the same story can be told through different word counts
i know people always are like 'a story is as long as it needs to be' but...is it?
i've technically run this experiment a few years ago, with Regrowth at exactly 100 words and Reduce, Reuse, Regrow at over 6000. honestly, it was kind of a fascinating experiment because....are they the same story? really? i guess at their core, you could argue that the plot is the exact same. tldr: giorno turns drug dealers into flowers. and that happens in both versions.
but there is no character in the drabble version, for the OCs and others. we don't get a sense of who giorno is in this story and why he's doing this - all we have to go off of is who he is in canon. we have no idea who tf marco [is that his name? i'm not rereading that to find out LOL] is - versus in the longer version we know about his connection to his family, his botanical garden, the plants he grows, etc. we know about his crush on Sofia. we know that mista saves him, which means giorno thinks he's someone worthy of being saved.
same thing for the police - they don't even get names in the drabble, compared to the names and personalities they're awarded in the longer version.
so...are they the same story?
i've been wondering [and by been wondering i mean i literally thought of this like an hour ago hehe] about how that can apply to other things as well, and this article is a terrific starting point. if you write your longfic as a oneshot, you have to pare down everything that 'doesn't matter' - which i'm using loosely, because as we've established, there are things important to a story that aren't just plot events. but you get such a clear distinction: what are the subplots vs the main plot? who are the side characters vs the main characters? if you have multiple antagonists, who is the one who drives the story primarily? without whom the story cannot exist any longer?
i wonder too if this, in a way, can kind of call back to the snowflake method - which i admittedly have never used but can see how it would be helpful. if you start small, let's say you write your story as a drabble. double it, and double it again. a few more times, and you have something short story length. then novella length. then novel length.
it could also be a way to literally build your story up piece by piece. okay, so you need a couple thousand more words. sure, you could just add a bunch of fluff or 'filler' - or, you could add in a subplot. you could add in a character that is integral to the story. and if you go the other way - from novel to drabble - and can't write a short story without that character, then you know how important they are.
in this way, you can kind of pare everything down to its barest bones, actually. character motivations, stakes, setting.....everything is tied together, which means changing one changes them all.
maybe at some point, you literally get to a point where you can't add anything else - and maybe that's where the story is as long as it needs to be. vice versa, too.
i will run this experiment a few more times and report back o7
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Dissecting "Nancy won't Settle Down," Nedcy versus Traditional Marriage, and Ned versus Hypermasculinity versus the Hardy Boys because it's 3 AM (very long meta)
I don't exactly how to phrase this, but there's something that really bothers me about the way that people say that "Nancy's never going to settle down"
Who said she had to?
Like it just feels like continuing this weird expectation of how either men or women have to be in a marriage and then also a weak attempt to be against it at the same time for something that literally doesn't have to happen.
idk it's just like....performative. saying that feels performative.
Marriage will never actually be a part of the equation of Nancy's life as long as people respect the reason her character is designed the way that it is. Which they won't, but that's another post.
But, hypothetically,
why would Ned, who many of you describe as a doormat, force Nancy into a position that she does not suit because that's how marriage is "traditionally" supposed to be?
Or even why would Nancy, a woman with a strong sense of identity, force herself into a position that she does not suit because that's how marriage is "traditionally" supposed to be?
It doesn't make sense to me.
Why if they got married would it have to be a traditional marriage? Cause a lot fo you seem to be implying that needs to happen if they got married. She has to be forced into a quiet and calm life when that doesn't even have to be an option.
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Additionally, I'm not sure who failed some of you in this department, but there are so many bad takes assigned to either of their personalities with this phrase.
And I'm not saying this to force any nonnedcy shipper into shipping nedcy, I'm saying this to help people understand how it fits in canon.
In that personality post that I never expanded upon even though I said I would, I said that Ned's personality complements Nancy's. Which is true. He complements her because he represented the things she needed, and not just to shut sexist people up. That was just bonus.
He understands her without having the exact same personality/dreams/goals as she does. He's a scientist. He has an investigative mind that grew in a different way. He's charismatic. He's strong. He's safe.
She needed safety, understanding, compassion, strength, intelligence, and a strong right hook.
She has a weird life and she needed someone who was well along for the ride, because before Ned she didn't have that. She dated guys who basically belittled or never truly took her interests into consideration. In defense of some, they just couldn't because of how their own lives were. But Ned could. And he did. He likes how weird is life is because of her.
There's a whole speech in a Files book I could use, but I much prefer the Sapphire Spider where Ned is kidnapped and missed finals and he is more worried about finals than the kidnapping which he basically takes as an "it happens" sort of thing. I feel like that has the same energy if he's just accepted that that's his life now with seemingly little-to-no difficulties.
That's the most basic of it.
Without pulling everything up, whenever Ned has talked about his future, he's never decided anything about her future. which is what she really loved about him. If he ever actually forced her into doing anything it was stopping her from dying. He never told her what her future was going to be, he just knew he wants her in it.
If you think that all men, no matter what their personalities are, would force their wives, no matter what their personalities are, to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen at all times, then that sounds like a totally different problem than disliking a character or ship.
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This also bleeds into something I've been feeling for a long time that I've never really said, but I'm not sure how progressive this fandom actually is compared to what it acts like it is.
The people doing the "settle down thing" seem weirdly opposed to a less-than-traditional relationship at times. Like if they got married, they would never do the breadwinner husband or housewife thing. That's not their personality. I don't think they would have even done it in the past, because there are Stratemayer books that didn't really do that. They would probably both work. And not even in the "neotraditional" household where the wife has a job just still does all the childcare. Ned is too loving. He would never just make kids to ignore them and complain about "slaving away all day to put food in their mouths." That's not their personalities either.
If any "type" of marriage would better describe what would be suitable for them is a partnership marriage. A partnership marriage is a far more gender-neutral model of marriage based on an equal division of labor that is suitable for both parties. They are unique to every couple and are based on a shared decision on what they think is best. Overall, the couple lives life as they find suitable and they don't need anyone telling them how well they think their relationship should be. This much better reflects modern views on marriage.
She could maintain her jet-setting ways, and be a wife and mother. But is that too weird for some of y'all because it puts a woman in a position where she is not at all times accessible to her children and a man in a more accessible caregiver position? Be honest. It's fine. It's necessary to unpack this stuff.
Not all of you are Hardy Boys fans, but there are some people who are seemingly more comfortable with Fenton and Laura who have been in a similar relationship for years but the genders reversed and do not see the similarities. For this argument, I am including when Laura is not just a housewife (I'm not entirely convinced this has ever truly been the case but another time). Because for many, it's easier to digest when a man neglects his marriage and childrearing duties to work and travel than when a woman does it.
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Continuing on the feminism train. This also reminds me of this concept I learned that honestly does apply very well to how many people here treat Ned (and maybe others). A very unprogressive concept in which people are uncomfortable with a man who does not display the "traditionally masculine traits" of ambition, restraint, independence, or just simply being happy and comfortable being in a position similar to a SAHD or making less than their female spouse.
Sometimes the way that people talk about or straight up just insult Ned reminds me of this concept of people being apprehensive with men that are seemingly not comfortable with being the best/the manliest/the most superior. For example, there was once this children's librarian who was berated, laughed at, and bullied by his coworkers (male and female) for not wanting to be the library director. He did not want to be at the top of his field (to them more of a man/more masculine), so he was ridiculed for already achieving his dream of being a children's librarian. You might not think this fully applies to him, but keep reading this novel of a post and you'll see the connection.
Now, this idea came to me from the book Gender: ideas, interactions, institutions. There are honestly so many different concepts of masculinity, femininity, and androgyny in this book that I could apply to any character. But for now a little taste with just Ned.
There are many people in this fandom who have a problem with the way that he does gender. The same thing actually happens with George, Nancy, Frank, Joe, and Bess in their own ways. But Ned has always been my main example of seeing this. He does not "do gender or perform his gender in a way that people are usually comfortable with men doing. There are ways that he breaks gender rules.
In the way that he is more comfortable with being at least semi-stationary while is globetrotting girlfriend lives up to that alliteration is a problem in the way that he performs his masculinity in society's perferred method.
Ned is a love interest to an Action Girlfriend aka a female character that acts as "the hero," which means he is put into a position that leans towards a more feminized area in fiction. Remember that he has existed since 1932. There are more male love interests in a similar position now then there have been for the entirety of his existence. He is the damsel in distress at times and he's alright with that, mostly because he knows that Nancy will save him. If you actually look in the Distressed Dude section in TVTropes, Ned is there.
Besties with Lois Lane and Olive Oyl /j
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------However, as I briefly mentioned, the love interest position is not the only thing that causes this type of reaction that I'm seeing. Even if many don't realize gendered thinking and the gender binary are so ingrained in socialization that people often police or enforce gender when they don't even realize this.
This often comes in the form of criticism or expectation. The criticizing is obviously focused more on someone who is not currently performing the preferred behaviors of their gender while the expectation is similar, but this form of disliking someone's gender performance comes with the expectation that they will fulfill it even when they've given the person no reason to believe that they will with their behavior.
Some of these critiques or even expectations that I've seen of Ned (and other male characters) often associate with hypermasculinity being enforced.
The type of characteristics we can see with hypermasculine behavior is
aggression
ambition
combative
dominant
hypersexual
unempathetic
restrained (emotionally)
impulsive
violent
unkind
contentious
brutal
strong
confident
physical
abrasive
assertive (bossy)
possessive
Some of those might be synonyms, but you get the idea. These are things that are socially enforced and accepted as the ideal display of masculinity. If a man fails to perform all of these in association with each other, he opens himself up to being targeted, harassed, harmed, or ostracized. They will be seen as lesser men.
Again, this concept is something that people will even enforce without realizing it because society ingrains the expectation of upholding the gender binary in our minds.
How many of the words in the list really describe Ned? Like sure he's strong, occasionally confident, and he has his ambitions....but the other ones. They don't really suit him.
He is rather emotional, and empathetic, and thinks things through for the most part. He is not typically possessive, violent, aggressive, abrasive, or assertive. Helping Nancy and being "at the beck and call" puts him in a more subordinate position compared to her leadership and dominance.
Ignoring the fact that Ned is getting his degree to obtain his career, he is not actively pursuing his career. At least in the way we see Nancy, Frank, and Joe. This is something that is enforced and encouraged in androcentrism (favoring masculine traits aka ambition). In the games specifically, his ambition is not actively shown. The internship is close, but we don't see that.
Ned is put in a less ambitious, less stereotypically masculine position. He is the housewife. He is making dinner and cleaning up the kids before the breadwinner (Nancy) comes homes and gives him 20 bucks to buy himself something pretty.
Now some people who have a well-filled pool of information of the Nancy Drew franchise might try to point out that there are times when Ned performs hypermasculinity. There definitely are. But let me point this out from the Nancy Drew Scrapbook.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
These traits may exist. But they are inconsistent. They honestly do not always exist. Any amount of aggression that exists in one book is absent in the next. Same thing with jealousy, some people try to portray him as an aggressively possessive monster. At most, that is another inconsistent trait that often appears in books heavily criticized for their poor writing, excessive cliche attempts at drama, and mischaracterization of everyone. Files is a constant example of this.
Sidenote: Ned's relationship with jealousy is weird and also often misunderstood in my opinion so someone remind me to discuss that further. (THINK SEA or CAP)
Comparatively, even if you use the most hypermasculine examples from any part of the franchise, Ned doesn't really do gender in the same way the Hardy Boys do. It has actually been a long-standing critique that Fenton, Frank, and Joe are constantly upholding the ideals of "traditional American masculinity" as they often display all of these traits. Some level of variance of course, but they're there.
And I saw it. I even see it in the ways that they are praised over Ned. It's because they're more driven, active, independent, and confident. They are more masculine than he is. They perform masculinity better than he does. The masculine traits they have in common, they are better at them. Therefore, they are better men.
It's no secret that many people here openly put down Ned to uplift Frank. Even if some of you pretend that it isn't true, you're about as subtle as a bull in a china shop. "Nancy really needs someone more like her. Nancy needs someone who can challenge her. Nancy needs someone who displays more hypermasculine traits and better fits society's mold of what a 'real man.' is." The last one is an exaggeration, but it also isn't.
I love all three of them. However, I'm also not afraid to critique the pitfalls of the more hypermasculine or toxically masculine ways that the Hardy Boys are boys. They do not have the same level of healthy masculinity as Ned.
(They are better in the games, I will give them that, but there is a notable difference in the games being marketed towards girls and the Hardy Boys franchise being marketed towards boys.)
And I am going to define it as healthy masculinity because the ways that the difference between healthy and toxic have been defined lean closer to Ned's behavior rather than the Hardy Boys.
Masculinity is a spectrum along with feminity and androgeny. There are many ways that a man is a man or masculine because they are separate concepts. Remembering that is vital in unpacking the ways that binary is enforced. Even policing the behaviors and displays of gender in fictional characters is a part of enforcing the binary.
Do not get fanon mixed up with canon here. Because the games may lead people to misunderstand how these characters have been portrayed with their associations of masculinity over the years. Along with Tumblr and turning Frank Hardy into the ideal YA Fiction Love Interest over his actual personality. But that's a whole different topic that might get too personal.
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Anyway, I've spent a lot of time unpacking my relationship with gender. I barely have one. So this is a topic I am comfortable with discussing randomly at 3-6 O'Clock in the morning.
This is not an attack on anyone or calling anyone sexist or close-minded for falling into socialized gender norms. Pretty much all of us were raised on this cisheteronormitive bullshit and it takes a lot to undo that damage.
Like I said earlier this type of policing or enforcing of gender rules can often happen without someone realizing it. Gender rules are beaten into the minds of many and take a long time to truly, fully alter your mind away from societal expectations. There's a strong possibility that many of you are actually policing Ned's gender without even realizing it. In the same way, using Frank or both of the Hardy Boys enforce gender.
The same way that "Nancy settling down" oddly circles back to the oxymoronic enforcement of traditional gender rules in relationships. Because they don't fit them as well, there's no way that a relationship could work.
At its' best, the Nancy Drew franchise displays an interesting relationship with gender concerning all of the main characters. Bess and George are the most obvious because of their foiled nature with their femininity and masculinity being so central to their characters. But honestly, Ned and Nancy have their own relationships with the gender that are equally interesting and go against cisheteronormative ideals in their own ways.
I wish I could say the Hardy Boys have an interesting relationship with gender or display it without it coming out in a sarcastic and resentful tone. I'll save that for next time.
To sum up
Nancy can get married without compromising her identity (not nedcy specific)
She can marry Ned without either of them compromising their values or identity (nedcy specific)
I am questioning the clue crew's relationship with tradition, progressiveness, performativeness, and masculinity
Many critiques in Ned seem to actually be rooted in gendered thinking and gendered policing. Men irl are critiqued in similar ways when they do not perform the most socially accepted behaviors associated with masculinity.
I hate how the Hardy Boys franchise portrays women 95% of the time.
Gendered thinking is everywhere, even when you think it isn't there.
I should make this a thesis.
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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hanzajesthanza · 2 months
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dandelion is indeed the worst but if he’s not present in the next book i would legitimately be sorrowful as the whole thing will become a slog . you basically cannot have the “short stories” era-of-the-timeline iteration of geralt without dandelion, it would be like eating unbuttered bread.
though it’s not like season of storms did them dirty, i wasn’t disappointed with it (… with regards to them), but since it’s literally been over 20 years since the saga was finished i’m trying to prepare for any potential reality
#however i will accept an absence of dandelion IN THE CASE OF we get to see geralt and yennefer living together in vengerberg#but if it’s regular geralt day in the life then if dandelion’s not there it’s gonna suuuuuccckk#i mean as in geralt’s life sucks without him. badly#and it also? sucks with him. good-ly.#it’s august and we don’t have a title yetttt 🥲 and they said 2024 … hmhm sure#i just feel like rupaul ‘and don’t fuck it up’.gif#like i’m excited but also wtf? new witcher book? are we on punk’d?#it’s not going to be the best but i’m hoping it will be at least as good as season of storms. not a high bar ok!#this from the person who was optimistic about the n*tflix show. don’t trust me i like to believe in the future#i was going to say ‘and i trust sapkowski more than i trust n*tflix’ and then i laughed.#i don’t trust him—i don’t even trust the version of him from the 90s and 00s!#one side of me can’t believe i’m still here after the guardswomen of kerack. and the ‘well i’m only gay for clout’ villain motivations#the other side of me is intensely curious wtf geralt will get up to this time and how witcher could maybe even denigrate further#but season of storms ending was actually good and = well it’s not like sapkowski forgot what it was about#then again it’s been 10 years and a bad adaptation since then so im biting my nails#all i ask : please stick with the naming convention of the other books. i don’t want to write an absurdly long or short name or acronym out#sooooo weird that in a few months i will be saying: there are 9 witcher books.#actually rn i just say there’s 7 and discount season of storms as a legitimate heir but mention it as footnote lol#i just hope i can survive until this new book and until its translation LOLLLL#they said translation in 2025 but you know the track record#new book: *releases winter 2024* | english translation: coming 2045!#jk i think they finally figured out that witcher is a money printer so they will be eager to translate it now and not waffle around#they kicked their butts into gear with the hussite trilogy so ! and they made new hardcovers.#the elbow-high diaries#new book 2024
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lokilysolbitch · 24 days
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me autistic and with chronic dissociation and light processing issues especially with glare, white paper and black text, using an online textbook, copy and pasting my chapter into google docs, changing the font and it's size, making it double spaced, changing the font color, highlighting the text in a different color, putting my glasses on, changing my screen brightness, and TURNING OFF EVERY OTHER LIGHT IN THE ROOM to reduce glare, rocking and using blankets that don't make me want to exit my skin: okay reading time
me: hm it's not making sense still,,,,,
me:
me: oh the author is just refusing to make the topic easy to understand. oh. oh okay. yeah okay cool great cool
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puppyeared · 1 year
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footnotes arent enough I need you to talk to me like im fucking Amelia Bedelia
#this isn’t about anything in particular btw. I just have to add a lot of memos when I’m doing things because some things are done a certain#way and it isn’t explained well in the instructions. like my mom has instructions on her baking recipes right#but when it says stuff like add dry ingredients to wet ingredients it also means you don’t dump it in one go you add it slowly by portion#this is probably why I find videos and demonstrations the most helpful when I learn something. like I almost always ask someone to show me#how they do it because there could be something they do that’s already second nature and wouldn’t really be considered in an explanation yk#I don’t think I’m an exception either. when the rice is done cooking I divide it into 4 quarters to bless it#but there are a million ways to divide rice and it makes me think that one persons way of doing it or not doing it all is just as valid#theres also technically no wrong way to divide rice afaik. this means either all ways of dividing rice is safe or valid until we find some#universally terrible way of dividing rice. until that happens nobody really thinks about specifying HOW you divide the rice#source: I have anxiety starting and doing things for the first time because I got way too many people yell at me NONONO WHAT ARE YOU DOING#THATS WRONG while I’m in the middle of doing the thing. I would rather have people think I’m either very stupid or overly specific#than go thru the panic inducing fear of ‘YOURE DOING THIS WRONG OMG WHY DIDNT YOU ASK AHEAD OF TIME THIS WILL BE FUCKED UP FOREVER’ 🧍#nothing wrong if you don’t give something a second thought because you’re so used to it. but I can and will ask about it and I don’t think I#really should feel bad about it if I don’t know enough to dispute it. idk#the other way around I try to be as specific as possible and word things in a way that people who might not get where I’m coming from will#understand. but the problem with that is my explanations tend to be lengthy and I lose them either way 🗿#Im. trying to work on that using examples and stuff because they seem to work the best#but if I could write everything down on a word doc and beam it into your melon that would save both of us time and embarassment#im rambling the short version is I have adhd#yapping
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tardis--dreams · 8 months
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The amount of energy and motivation my adhd meds give me these days is truly unmatched. Would be great if it lasted longer than 2 hours but i sure write a lot of stuff on my to do list when they kick in
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septembersghost · 2 years
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me watching any piece of media ever made: how can i make the thesis here about the wondrous, fulfilling, frightening, destroying, restorative, glimmering thrall of, and tragic inevitability of grief within, any and every form of love?
elvis (2022): *very first thing we hear* oh, let our love survive... *later*: love song i've known since childhood used in a dark, ominous way and a desperately tender one: some things are meant to be. take my hand, take my whole life too, for i can't help falling in love... *later still*: it was love. *last*: i need your love...
ah. okay. so you just made my job too easy. i don't even have to search for it. thank you. guess i'll go insane.
#if you need the short explanation#joanna newsom: a little shade of grief comes in when love is its most real version.#then it contains death inside of it and then that death contains love inside of it.#i want to write so much but 99% of you are not here for this and think i have well and truly lost it and that's fair#what's so funny is it's exactly what happened with moulin rouge two decades ago#christian: a story about a time; a story about a place; a story about the people.#but above all things: a story about love. a love that will live forever.#younger me: thank you. guess i'll go insane!#and it predates that considerably. i have countless examples. it's so funny HOW predictable i am and have been since the age of about seven#okay i have to go to bed i'm destroying my body with sleep deprivation 😭 i'll be back for more derangement later#elvis#i was a dreamer#sail on silver girl; sail on by#it starts as OUR love because it's already telling us it's shared. we're a part of this now#and then can't help falling is like: do we find what we love or does it find us? is this fate or could one thing have been different#if one thing had been different would everything be different today#does it matter even though it's already done? (yes) if you reach out your hand to the sense of that love how does it affect your life?#(and on a personal level for me: you heard but you didn't listen carefully enough. the door was always open)#i'll be coming home. *wait* for me.#then the conclusion is it's love it was always love. but from the person who doesn't even understand that#so we have to take it to heart differently. time goes by so slowly and TIME CAN DO SO MUCH. are you still mine?#time transforms and time provides distance but time can also give clarity#and then it's an entreaty and a prayer: i need your *love*. i *need* your love. godspeed your love to me.#it's never not needed and it's never not valuable and it's never not new and it's never not fate and grief and light and spirit.#you can run and run and always land back home. you can hurt and triumph and break and always find your love. even if it's yours alone.#it's yours baby and no one can take it away from you#put me in the heart locket i'm done
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fourteenfifteen · 1 year
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i want. to write a novel. one day
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It sucks having like 5 different very distinct versions of what at its core is basically the same story swirling around inside your head . Im putting these guys in Situations
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yuujispinkhair · 3 months
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CollegeBoy!Sukuna accidentally knocking you up – Part 2 B
-> Option B: "Let's have a baby!"
You can read Part 1 here.
I decided to write two different versions of Part 2 (both are comforting). Option A: The Reader has an abortion Option B: The Reader decides to have the baby(s).
Modern!Sukuna x Reader (female). Fluff + Smut. 18+. Light angst with a happy end. 7K words. Unplanned pregnancy, Reader decides to have the baby. There's a short moment of worry during the pregnancy, but nothing bad happens. Pregnancy sex, praise, slight lactation kink. All characters are of age. Minors don't interact. Divider@/plutism + dollsciples + benkeibear
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The first night after finding out your college sweetheart accidentally knocked you up is a sleepless one for you. You're lying in Sukuna's arms, staring at the wall while your mind whirls, refusing to let you find any rest. You are grateful that Sukuna is here. At first, you had tried weakly to tell him that you wouldn't be mad if he needed some time to himself. But he just huffed and rolled his pretty eyes before pulling his t-shirt over his head and dropping it to the floor before his hands went to his jeans, unbuttoning them and pushing them down while telling you in that low, stern voice,
"You think I am going to leave you alone after this? Absolutely not. Now get your pretty ass into bed, princess. I am staying."
And now he is lying behind you, snoring softly against your neck after he, too, struggled to fall asleep for over an hour. And you can't help but snuggle against Sukuna's warm, muscular body. His presence is reassuring, and his strong body and soft breath on your neck stop you from spiraling, even though you still can't find any rest.
You are busy making a pro and con list in your mind. Could you really make it work if you decide to have the baby? Could you handle going to college and being a mom? Wouldn't an abortion be the more sensible thing to do? On the other hand, would you be ok with the what-ifs haunting you after deciding against the baby? It's the most challenging decision you've ever had to make.
But if you are honest with yourself, your heart already knows what it wants.
The idea of having your own little family with Sukuna makes you smile. The mental image of Sukuna going to class with your little one in a baby carrier won't leave your mind. And you tear up a little when you imagine how sweet a life like that could be.
But you try to give your head a chance, too. It's not hard to find reasons why you shouldn't have a baby at this stage of life. Yet, any argument that speaks against a baby also leads to an excuse as to why it can still work. And after all, you know you won't be alone. Because there is Sukuna. Sukuna, who didn't run when he found out he knocked you up. Sukuna who told you he will support you no matter what you decide. Sukuna, who told you he will make sure you and the baby have it good if you choose to have it.
And now, one of his large hands is resting on your belly, long fingers sprawling possessively and lovingly over it, and it's a touch that fills you with longing. It's a touch that makes you see a future in which you and Sukuna are young parents and live together in domestic bliss.
It's that thought that finally makes you drift off to sleep, too.
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"Kuna?"
You gnaw on your lip nervously as you turn around in your boyfriend's arms and look at him, about to tell him your decision. Sleepy maroon eyes meet yours, and a lazy smirk spreads over Sukuna's tattooed face.
"Hmm?"
You always love how soft he looks right after waking up, with his pink hair ruffled and his voice even lower than usual, his gaze unguarded and warm. You reach down to take one of his large hands in yours, holding it with both of your smaller hands as you say the words that will change your and Sukuna's life forever,
"I think I want to have the baby."
It's, at the same time, the most terrifying and most beautiful thing you ever said. You gulp nervously, watching Sukuna's face carefully. He blinks, and the smirk vanishes from his face. Instead, he looks at you with a serious expression in his beautiful maroon eyes. He nods, never breaking eye contact as he says,
"Then we'll be a family from now on."
You still stare at him with wide eyes, clutching his hand tightly, and Sukuna laughs softly, leaning closer to nuzzle his nose against your forehead,
"Hey, don't look so worried, princess. I meant everything I said yesterday. Every word. I won't run. We'll make this work. You and our baby will have it good. I will make sure of that. I love you. I won't leave."
Your heart flutters at the reassurance, and when Sukuna wraps an arm around you, you snuggle against him gratefully, sighing softly as you push your face against his warm, buff chest. You can hear his too-fast heartbeat, which gives away how nervous Sukuna is, too. About the pregnancy and the prospect of being a dad at such a young age. But Sukuna doesn't show it. You know he is being strong for you, so he can be your safe place. It makes you press a tender kiss to one of the tattoos on his naked chest while mumbling a soft, "I love you, too."
You believe Sukuna when he says the two of you can make it work. You have a feeling that with Sukuna by your side, you can do anything.
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You get an official pregnancy test done at your doctor's office only two days later, followed by the first ultrasound examination, which you come out of with ringing ears after your doctor beamed at you and congratulated you on a twin pregnancy.
You walk over to Sukuna, who is waiting for you in the waiting room and wordlessly press the ultrasound picture against his chest. You wait a few seconds, barely able to keep silent while Sukuna examines the small picture with narrowed eyes until he finally is like,
"What am I supposed to see here? Wait a moment...why are there two?"
And you burst out laughing, looking at him, unable to stop grinning as the realization settles over Sukuna's face, and the corners of his mouth twitch until he bursts out laughing too,
"I should have known! Of course, I knocked you up with twins!"
There's a certain pride in his voice, and it makes you laugh even more. The first shock of finding out that you will have not only one but two babies to look after is lessened by the humor of it all.
Sukuna brings the picture closer to his face,
"Those little peas are supposed to be my children? Did you see how fucking small they are? Well, little ones, you have a lot of growing to do if you want to be as big and strong as your daddy!"
You chuckle and hug him, overcome with emotions at hearing Sukuna talk like that, already so naturally slipping into the role of the soon-to-be daddy.
"I will probably not be able to move at all with your two huge, heavy babies in my belly. Why do you have to be so big, Kuna?"
Sukuna flashes you a proud grin while wrapping an arm around you and pulling you closer,
"Oh, don't act like you aren't crazily into it. And yeah, us Itadoris are big babies, so you better be prepared."
You open your mouth to whine, but Sukuna places a finger on your lips, smirking at you,
"Stop complaining, princess. You know that you have me. I'll make sure to feed you well when my brats make you hungry. And I'll get you everything you need. We both know that you won't have to lift a single finger."
You know he is right, and he already proves it to you when you get home again, and Sukuna gently pushes you onto the couch, telling you that you have to rest.
"I'm gonna make lunch now, and no, you aren't allowed to help! Be a good girl and just chill."
And so you sit there, with a hand lightly rubbing your belly, the ultrasound picture lying next to you, looking at the TV that is showing some game show. But you don't really register what is happening on the screen because you are too busy getting accustomed to the fact that you are really going to be a mom.
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As the weeks pass, a small bump begins to show on your belly, and neither you nor Sukuna can stop touching it and staring at it in fascination. It still feels unreal that there are supposedly really two babies growing inside you. The little pea-sized spots you could see on the first ultrasound didn't look like little humans at all. But the small bulge tells you that there is truly something happening inside your belly.
You have several doctor's appointments, and Sukuna drives you to all of them. He always comes up with you to the waiting room and sits there, holding your hand, a reassuring presence by your side. He always lets you know he is there for you. That he isn't running from the responsibility.
Your doctor informs you that you can bring your partner with you to the next ultrasound so he can see the babies, too, if he wants, and when you tell Sukuna about it, he agrees immediately.
"Of course, I'm coming with you! I need to see what my brats are doing."
It makes your chest feel warm. Sukuna isn't just enduring all of this. He doesn't just play the dad because he feels like he has to. He is truly interested in your little family, which is growing in your belly.
You can tell that Sukuna is nervous on the day of the ultrasound. You catch him patting the pocket of his leather jacket as if to grab his cigarettes, only to let his hand drop again when he remembers that he threw all of his cigarettes away on the day you told him you wanted to have the babies.
It's cute to see your tall, muscular boyfriend with his piercings and intimidating-looking tattoos, sitting in the waiting room, playing nervously with his tongue piercing and grabbing your hand so tightly that it's a bit painful.
He is playing it cool in front of the doctor, though, his usual arrogant smirk perfectly in place. Joking around and oozing confidence. Until the screen fills with the ultrasound images, and Sukuna suddenly becomes completely silent.
The "peas" have grown quite a bit and they actually resemble tiny human beings with small arms and legs. Even though you can't feel it yet, they move around wildly, doing somersaults as if to show their daddy that they are just as athletic as he is.
You turn your head to look at Sukuna, and your heart clenches when you see the thunderstruck expression on his tattooed face. He stares at the screen in awe while his lips tremble ever so slightly.
You reach out to touch his arm, gently caressing his tattooed biceps, and Sukuna looks at you with his maroon eyes glittering suspiciously. Your bad boy who always acts so tough, but here he is fighting tears upon seeing his babies in action for the first time on a flickering ultrasound screen.
It makes tears well up in your eyes, too, your chest filling with almost overwhelming love. And suddenly, everything feels even more real. This is really happening! You are having Sukuna's babies! Sukuna and you will be parents!
And as if he read your mind, Sukuna's low voice is in your ear suddenly, sounding solemn and shocked and in complete awe,
"Those are our little brats."
You can only nod wildly in response as tears glitter in your eyes.
The two (or four) of you leave the doctor's office in a daze. Sukuna's arm is wrapped tightly around your waist, and you feel him pull you closer to his tall body anytime you walk past someone, protecting you from any possible danger. Sukuna even drives much slower than usual. It makes you smile to yourself, filled with love and gratitude for the man by your side.
The man who didn't run, the man who took responsibility, the man who turns to look at you at a red light with his eyes full of love.
Sukuna parks in front of your apartment and sprints to your side of the car to open the door for you and offer you a strong arm. He doesn't leave your side all the way to your apartment, making sure you won't fall on the stairs or slip in the hallway. And you can't help but grin to yourself. It makes your body buzz with excitement, knowing this tall, strong man is so protective over you and the babies that are growing in your belly. His babies.
Somehow, it makes Sukuna even more attractive, even though you never thought he could get any hotter than he already is. It makes you lean against him and smile toothily up at him once you enter your apartment. You put your hands on Sukuna's defined pecs, feeling him up through his thin t-shirt as you get on your tiptoes to kiss him sweetly. Murmuring against his lips,
"You're already such a good daddy."
Sukuna laughs and pulls you closer, smirking his sexy smirk against your lips before he pushes his tongue into your mouth, kissing you thoroughly before he carefully picks you up princess style to carry you to the bedroom and continue what you started.
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"Oh my god, what!? I am going to be an uncle?"
You are convinced the whole dorm hears Yuuji's excited scream as he pulls his brother into a bone-crushing hug, and Sukuna's low laughter fills the room.
You smile as you watch the brothers high-fiving each other and grinning like two madmen. Sukuna announced the big news to Yuuji in his usually blunt manner. He pulled you against his side and put one large hand over your belly while smirking at his brother and telling him,
"You'll soon have serious competition for the title of Biggest Itadori Brat. We're pregnant with twins. Two boys, just like you and me."
By now, Yuuji has let go of his brother and comes over to you, smiling from ear to ear and telling you how happy he is for you and Sukuna. There is no sign of disapproval or judgment, only genuine joy. And it makes relief wash over you. You hope that more people will react nicely once your baby bump is big enough so you won't be able to hide your pregnancy anymore.
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You once heard someone say that no pregnancy goes by without a big scare.
And you get your scare when you get up one morning to use the toilet only to discover a bloodstain in your panties.
"K... Kuna..."
You say his name instinctively, needing him by your side as the fear makes your pulse race. And Sukuna is by your side in lightspeed, running into the bathroom only wearing his boxer briefs, hair messy and ruffled from sleep, with wide eyes and worry written all over his handsome face.
"What's wrong, baby?"
Your voice trembles when you explain,
"There is... there is blood."
The first tears run down your cheeks as you press a hand over your mouth. You are scared out of your mind. Scared that this means you lost the babies. Scared that something went wrong, and now your happy little family will never be.
You almost scream at the irony. This pregnancy wasn't planned. Not so long ago, you contemplated getting an abortion. But now, the thought of losing your babies makes you spiral!
It's Sukuna's low voice that pulls you out of the panic attack.
"Don't worry too much, princess. It's not a lot of blood, ok? We'll get it checked. But I am sure it's nothing bad. Come here, sweetheart."
He gently pulls you into his arms, holding you tightly while his lips press little soothing kisses to your temple and cheek. So surprisingly soft for a guy with such a bad boy reputation.
You can tell by Sukuna's posture and the tenseness in his muscles that he is worried, too, but he stays strong for you, and that is exactly what you need at that moment. He is your big, strong boyfriend, someone you can lean on and who knows what to do because he always knows everything.
Sukuna is gentle with you. He helps you get dressed and carefully carries you down to his car. He talks to you on the whole drive to the hospital to distract you. He stays by your side when you are told to take a seat in the waiting area, holding your hand the whole time until a nurse picks you up and leads you to an examination room. The last thing you see before turning the corner is Sukuna's soft, reassuring smile, even while his wide gaze gives away how scared he is, too.
Ten minutes later, you return to Sukuna with a relieved smile on your lips. You can see the breath he lets out, the way the tenseness leaves his broad shoulders and the way his hands unclench.
"The babies are fine. They were as active as ever. The doctor said everything is as it should be. The bleeding could have been caused by all kinds of things, but it's nothing bad. I should just try to avoid stress and rest a bit more."
And Sukuna wraps you in his strong arms, hugging you a bit too tightly, clinging to you as you feel him exhale shakily.
"I'm glad the three of you are fine. Promise me you will really rest more."
"Of course I will. I want the babies, too, Kuna. I won't do anything that could put them at risk."
To your surprise, you feel Sukuna tense up again, and then he pulls away just enough to look at you with a scowl on his beautiful face and worry in his eyes,
"I am not just worried about the babies. I am worried about you, too. Always about you. Fuck, I love you. I need you to take good care of yourself. I can't lose you, princess!"
And you almost melt into a puddle right then and there, feeling tears well up in your eyes again, this time because you are so touched, and so relieved, and so in love with the boy in front of you.
"I love you too. Thank you for being there for me, baby."
"Always, princess."
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Your belly is constantly growing, and by now, you aren't able to hide your pregnancy anymore. You get several curious glances on campus. Some people approach you directly. Others whisper when you walk past.
But those whispers stop the moment Sukuna joins your side, walking next to you like some bodyguard, one strong, tattooed arm casually thrown over your shoulder. He leans down to kiss your temple while his cat-like maroon eyes watch the people in the hallway, smirking his most dangerous smirk at them, daring them to make a mean comment and suffer the consequences.
Sukuna places one large hand on your swollen belly, sprawling his tattooed fingers possessively over it as he sneers at the group of girls who are known to be the biggest gossips of the whole campus,
"Those babies are mine. You can let everyone know that. And if anyone has a problem with it, they can come to me and say it to my face."
And you can't help but laugh and lift your head proudly, too, grinning from ear to ear, glad that you are dating the campus bad boy and won't have to endure any bullying because you managed to get knocked up by your college sweetheart. No one dares make any snide comments after finding out who the father of your babies is
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You're sitting on the couch reading a book when there's a sudden movement in your belly. You gasp and stare at your baby bump.
"Oh my god, Kuna! Come quick!"
Your loud squeal is one of excitement this time, but there is still alarm written all over Sukuna's tattooed face when he hurries into the living room, cooking spoon still in his hand,
"Fuck! What's wrong?"
But you are quick to chase his worry away, meeting him halfway, walking toward him with a broad smile on your face and your hands cupping your swollen belly.
"It's the twins! I can feel them move! Come here so you can feel them, too!"
And Sukuna looks at you with wide eyes, dropping the spoon he was holding and rushing over to you. He stops in front of you, his gaze traveling down to your baby bump.
You laugh and grab his large hands, placing them firmly on your swollen belly. It takes barely a second, and then Sukuna's gaze snaps to yours,
"Our little brats are kicking me!"
You giggle and nod,
"Yeah, it's so cool, right? I just hope they won't get too wild."
And Sukuna grins and looks at you with an amused and super proud sparkle in his maroon eyes,
"Oh, I know they will be wild. Don't get your hopes up, princess. They are strong, just like their daddy. Right, my little gremlins?"
Sukuna's voice is amused but also tender, making your heart feel full. You know that he already loves his little ones. You can hear it in his voice and see it in the soft look on his face.
Sukuna drops to his knees right in front of you, hugging you and resting his head gently against your baby bump, a tender smile on his face.
A display of such pure devotion and love that it makes you tear up a bit. Sukuna grins as he pulls up your shirt, and then he presses two soft lingering kisses onto your swollen belly. You can feel his smile against your skin just a second before you feel another strong kick from one of the twins, or maybe both of them. As if they want to greet their daddy and show him how strong they already are.
Sukuna laughs, putting his hands on your belly again, grinning as he feels his sons move around,
"Hey, listen up, little brats. Daddy is proud of you for being such strong ones, but be nice to your mommy, ok? Don't kick her too much."
You chuckle and put a hand on Sukuna's head, gently petting his pink hair and running your fingers through the silky strands as you smile down at him. You are sure that you must have heart eyes because Sukuna looks so good kneeling before you, hugging you, and kissing your baby bump while talking to his babies in your belly.
Every last sliver of doubt you might have ever had about this pregnancy dissolves at that moment as you watch your man being so loving and cute. So excited about the development of your babies.
He grins up at you, that boyish grin that always gives you butterflies, and you catch yourself thinking that you really hope your little boys will have the same grin one day.
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Of course, you heard about pregnancy cravings, but you couldn't imagine how intense that would be. Now you know it.
You're having a lazy evening on the couch, watching TV with Sukuna, when a commercial for a specific yogurt starts playing, and suddenly, it is all you can think about. You need that yogurt! Right now!
You whine about it like some five-year-old, and Sukuna laughs and pulls out his phone, filming you, telling you that he always wants to remember these epic moments of your pregnancy lunacy. And you huff dramatically and roll your eyes at him and hit his biceps playfully while pouting at him,
"But Kuna, please. You want your babies to become big and strong, right? I am sure they need dairy products right now, and that's why I crave that yogurt! It's them! It's your twins! They make me want that yogurt so bad! Please get it for me, baby, will you?"
You bat your lashes at him, and Sukuna grins at you, reaching out to cup your chin and gently press your cheeks together. His grin grows as he slowly leans closer.
"Stop it, princess. You already know full well that I will buy you that fucking yogurt. If my girl wants that yogurt, she will get that yogurt."
He presses a quick kiss to your pouty lips before he gets up from the couch and is on his way to the door. He looks over his broad shoulders, winking at you. And a second later, your boyfriend is already out the door on his mission to get you all the yogurt you crave.
He returns 20 minutes later, carrying a whole pallet of the desired yogurt, walking toward you with a proud expression on his handsome tattooed face.
"See, princess. You have me to get you everything you need. Now give me a kiss, and I will give you a yogurt."
Sukuna grins that beautiful boyish grin at you, his eyes filled with warmth and tenderness, and you laugh and grab his jaw, giving him a loud, wet smack on his tattooed cheek and then a sweet, slow kiss on his lips.
"Thank you, baby. You are the best."
And you feel him smile against your lips as his large hand cups the back of your head to hold you in place so he can kiss you some more before you can pull away to indulge in your newfound yogurt addiction.
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You catch Sukuna standing in the twins' room in your new apartment, paintbrush in hand, his naked chest heaving, sweat mingling with the paint stains on his skin next to the tattoos adorning his muscular body. And it's one of the sexiest sights you have ever seen. Your man building a nest for your babies.
Money is tight, so you could only afford an old and rather shabby apartment. But Sukuna is very determined to turn it into a nice home for his little family. He told you that you don't need to hire any professional craftsmen. Sukuna will do it all by himself (and with the help of his brother). He will make sure you and your babies have a clean and pretty place to live in!
And he keeps his word.
Only a short time later, the apartment is ready to move into, and it looks amazing. A cozy little place for you and Sukuna and your little boys.
Living together with Sukuna feels incredibly nice. You have already been spending all your time together ever since you were pregnant, but knowing that you are actually living together now makes things feel different. Sweeter somehow. Domestic. Just like you dreamed it would be.
This is Sukuna's and your place. Your shared home. It is where you will raise your babies, where you will laugh and cry, eat together, make love, and celebrate the twins' birthdays.
Sukuna's favorite part of the apartment is the kitchen. He spends a lot of time in there, cooking and baking for you, claiming that he needs to feed you well so you get all the nutrients you need right now.
He is stern when it comes to your health, watching you with hawk eyes when you eat and shaking his head when you push some food to the side,
"Uh uh. I looked it up, princess. Those are essential during pregnancy. You will eat them."
As annoying as it can be, you can't be mad at Sukuna. He is just trying his best to take good care of you, after all. And in the end, you always hug him and kiss him and tell him he is the sweetest, which makes Sukuna look very pleased while he announces,
"My girl will always have it good with me."
He is right, and you are very happy about it. Sukuna is super protective of you, even more so now that you are pregnant with his babies. He doesn't let you lift a single finger, insisting that you aren't to carry anything heavy and that you shouldn't do the laundry or clean the apartment.
You laugh when you come home from class and find Sukuna and Yuuji deep cleaning the kitchen together, both sweaty and bitching at each other but motivated like hell to get everything shiny and clean.
"Brat, you missed a spot there! Get your lazy ass up and keep scrubbing my fucking sink! This is for your nephews, you little shit! You don't want them to get all kinds of infections, do you?"
"No, of course not! But Kuna! Grandpa never had a clean house, and you and I lived too! You are such an asshole, oh my god!"
You clap a hand over your mouth to stifle your laughter, feeling bad for Yuuji but also filled with love at seeing Sukuna so aggressively motivated about your domestic life. So eager to prepare everything for the twins.
Sukuna is a good man for you. Tough on the outside but caring on the inside. And you already know that he will be a wonderful father.
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Your pregnancy progresses without any complications. But you are not immune to the emotional rollercoaster of the pregnancy hormones raging in your body. You cry more easily, sometimes without even really knowing why. You get anxious over the smallest things. And sometimes, everything is too much, and self-doubts fill your mind.
It's those moments that make you suddenly cry and hug yourself, unable to regulate your emotions, hiccuping from all the tears,
"I can't do this! I have no idea how any of this works! I suck at everything I do! I will be such a terrible mom!"
But Sukuna is there for you each and every time, catching you anytime you fall. He wraps you in his strong arms, comforts you, pulls you against his muscular body, and lets you use his broad chest as your pillow, not caring at all that your tears and snot soak his t-shirt. He strokes your hair soothingly, cuddles you, and talks to you in that low, velvety voice. All soft and sweet, murmuring reassurance to you while he pets your hair,
"Shhh, it's ok, baby. You can do it. You'll be an amazing mommy. And even on the days when you can't do it, there will still be me who can do it for you. I won't let you down, ever. You aren't alone in this, princess. You will always have me."
It makes you cry even more. But the tears turn into tears of joy, affection, and love. Sukuna is your rock. To everyone else, he may seem like a superficial troublemaker who only wants to have fun, but you know a different side of him. The accidental pregnancy showed you that Sukuna is so much more than meets the eye. You know you can always count on your bad boy with the face tattoos and the pink hair. You know he will keep his word.
You snuggle gratefully against him in those moments, crying until you fall asleep on his chest, feeling safe and loved and knowing that when you wake up a few hours later, things will look better again.
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You talk to your doctor and schedule a planned c-section after seeing how big the twins are already at this point, making you freak out at the thought of trying a natural birth.
Your doctor laughs and tells you that it's no wonder they are big after seeing their daddy, and somehow, it gives you butterflies and makes you smile like an idiot, even as you nod and agree that, yes, Sukuna is really tall and big.
When you tell Sukuna the news, he is, on the one hand, proud that his brats are growing so healthily and seem to turn out just like him, but on the other hand, he is worried about you.
"I will be with you during the c-section. You better know that, princess."
"Of course, I know that, baby. But I am ok, really. I am not scared of the surgery. I am actually glad I don't have to try pressing those big boys out the natural way!"
You look at Sukuna, and his lips twitch, and then you both burst out laughing at the same time before he pulls you against him and hugs you loosely, careful not to squish your swollen belly too much.
Your baby bump is huge by now. You can't see your feet. You can't bend over. You can't move the way you want to. Your belly is heavy and in the way all the time now, and it's a bit annoying at this point.
But Sukuna always manages to make you feel better about it.
He constantly walks up to you, stands behind you, and reaches around you, cupping your swollen belly with both hands, joking about how it is exactly like the basketball he is used to from practice, only prettier.
And you laugh and complain playfully and turn around in his arms, kissing him while still smiling. And he smirks at you and informs you,
"I told you that you have me to take care of you, princess. Stop whining, and just come to me when you need help. It's really that easy."
He is right.
You tell Sukuna you are having trouble putting on your shoes, and Sukuna is instantly by your side. He makes you sit down again, takes your legs into his hands, puts your shoes on for you, and ties the shoelaces.
He is there when you need to pick up something. He is there to do the laundry for you and carry groceries and even your bag when he walks you to your classes. He is there to remind you that you should lie down and rest. And if you don't listen to him, Sukuna can still easily pick you up and just carry you to the bed or couch.
And as much as you are starting to get annoyed by your baby bump and your heavy breasts and swollen face and legs, Sukuna absolutely loves your pregnant body.
There are moments when you are close to tears and feel insecure about your new body shape, missing the way you used to look before, but Sukuna won't let you talk yourself down. He leaves no doubt about how attracted he is to you.
"Stop it, baby. You are so fucking sexy. You think you don't make my dick hard anymore? I'll show you how wrong you are about that, princess."
He walks up to you, making you gulp hard when you feel him stop behind you, his husky voice in your ear, hot breath on your neck sending shivers down your spine.
He presses his tall body against you while his large hands wander lovingly over your body, cupping your plump breasts, caressing your swollen belly, squeezing your squishy hips and thighs while hot, wet kisses trail up and down your neck and Sukuna rubs his rock-hard erection against your back, letting you feel how hard you still make him.
"If you weren't already round and swollen with my twins, I would fuck a baby into you right this second. But just because I can't knock you up again right now doesn't mean I can't fuck you."
Sukuna is careful to put you in positions that are comfortable for you and won't hurt the babies. And his thrusts are a bit gentler than usual, but his hips still roll against you with that perfect, sexy pace, dicking you down so good that it makes you sob his name and forget all about the insecurities you felt earlier.
You are lying on your side, and Sukuna is spooning you, fucking you from behind with those slow, deep strokes that make your head spin. His strong arms are wrapped tightly around your body, his hands squeezing your breasts, and he growls in your ear when a few droplets of milk already spill from your swollen tits.
You mewl when Sukuna doesn't wipe his hands on the sheets but licks your sticky milk off his fingers, groaning as if it's a sweet treat, telling you how good you taste.
He flicks his thumb over your puffy clit, making you scream with how good and intense everything feels with the pregnancy hormones and the increased blood flow in your body. Forgetting all about the insecurities you felt earlier as you give yourself to Sukuna and let him worship your pregnant body.
One of his hands is holding your swollen belly, while the other is between your thighs, spoiling your pussy with his loving caresses. And all the time, he praises you with that low, sexy voice, telling you how crazy you drive him.
You squeal loudly when your pleasure peaks, and you clench so hard around Sukuna's cock, that you take him with you over the edge, making him groan loudly against your neck while his large hands sprawl over your pregnant belly, holding it firmly as he ruts into you and spills his hot cum into you.
Sukuna is always sweet to you after sex, but even more so now that you are pregnant. You get cleaned, you get cuddled, you get praised, you get offered snacks, which makes you laugh softly and pull Sukuna into a deep kiss, telling him that the only snack you want right now is him.
All of this helps you accept the changes in your body and even appreciate them. Sukuna makes you feel desired and sexy, even when your legs and face are swollen, and your big baby bump makes it impossible for you to move the way you used to.
Sukuna loves your baby bump.
And not just during sex but all the time. He can't keep his hands off it. A large tattooed hand always rests on your swollen belly when you snuggle on the couch together, watching your favorite shows. Or at night, when you lie in bed, and Sukuna hugs you from behind. He even does it in public, proudly showing you and your baby bump off.
It makes you smile, thinking that just a few months ago, you and Sukuna were both freaking out about him accidentally knocking you up, but now you are both so at peace with how things are. Even happy and excited to share this new chapter of your life with each other.
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You are standing in the baby room section of Ikea three weeks before your due date, a hand resting gently on your swollen belly, smiling when you feel your babies' occasional kicks.
Their daddy is busy picking out a changing table while looking completely out of place with his black clothes and intimidating-looking tattoos amidst all the white and pastel-colored furniture surrounding him.
He is sticking his tongue out in concentration, his tongue piercing glittering in the artificial light as he takes measurements with a measuring tape to determine which changing table fits better into the kid's room. And your chest fills with warmth as you watch him.
He is so focused, so invested. This is important to him. Your babies are important to him. You are important to him.
Before you even know it, you are standing behind Sukuna and wrap your arms around him, hugging him and snuggling against his broad back, at least as much as your huge baby bump allows.
Sukuna looks over his shoulder with that boyish grin on his tattooed face, looking so good that the sensation of your babies kicking you isn't the only fluttery feeling in your stomach.
"Do you want the blue changing mat or the yellow one, princess?"
You chuckle, unable to stop the broad smile spreading over your face,
"You are so sexy, daddy."
Sukuna's smirk grows bigger, and he lifts one eyebrow,
"You think this is sexy? Just wait until you see me giving our brats the bottle or changing their diapers."
"I'll probably faint from all the sexiness!"
You both start laughing at the same time. And Sukuna turns around to steal a few kisses before he wraps his strong arms around you and tells you about all the sexy dad things he will do when his brats are here.
And you both laugh as you stand there hugging and joking and flirting in the middle of Ikea, feeling as if you are in your own little bubble. And you kind of are, aren't you? This is your little family. Sukuna and you and the babies in your swollen belly.
And you realize that you can't wait for the little ones to finally be here. You can't wait to finally see Sukuna holding them, carrying them around in his tattooed arms, hearing him sing them to sleep with that sexy low voice, and seeing him be the proud daddy that you know he will be.
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I WANT THAT SEXY DADDY IN MY LIFE AAAHHH 😭💗 This story became so much longer than I thought, but I just couldn't stop writing. I found so much comfort in this whole series. Our fave bad boy becoming all mature and responsible 💗
I hope you enjoyed Option B and that it could make you smile, too!! Thank you so much for all the sweet comments and tags on Part 1 and Option A. It was such a nice journey with y'all!!
Comments and reblogs would be very sweet 💗
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puthyflapps · 1 year
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baby stop teasing us with fics 😩
I mean I could expand upon my ideas a little bit if you were like into that sort of thing
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#ask#I have a time travel shoni au outlined in my google docs#I have a canon shoni relationship reveal au outlined in google docs#I have these three really long drabbles I wrote like a year ago saved in my tumblr drafts#one is a follow up to my shoni unrequited love au the other is a band au and the other is like hard to describe in short way but Toni sells#drugs in it 🫶🏻🫶🏻 it’s like an alternate version of a post I wrote about a secret relationship au where I mention Shelby getting left at a bu#station by Toni – they were supposed to skip town together but Dave caught wind of it and ruined everything#I have another au thot about canon shoni where Toni reveals in response to Rachel talking about becoming a carpenter that her favorite class#in school is woodshop and one of Marty’s cousins owns a construction company and in the summers they let Toni work with them which is all to#say that Shelby asks if Toni would ever build her something and I mean we’re talking about the biggest chest puffer ever so ofc she says yes#and then Shelby all coyly asks if Toni would ever build her a house and the insinuation is obviously it would be their house and that theyd#have a future off the island and Toni is all in and tells her she’ll build her the best house she’s ever seen–way better than those Texas#McMansions she’s used to and so it kinda becomes their thing when their alone with one another to talk about what they want their house to#look like ya know they’re cuddling after sex and Shelby says she’s always wanted a garden so Toni tells her that’d be easy–she could build#some planters and a trellis. another time it’s night time and they’re stargazing when Shelby says she wants their house to have a big front#porch and maybe a white picket fence but she’s not sure about that one yet#also I had this other thot one time that I made a post about where I said I was gonna write a one shot about Toni finding a pearl on the#island and using scrap airplane parts manages to make a ring for Shelby#that’s all I can remember off the top of the dome
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radicalrascals · 1 year
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Headcanon: Nick Silva
How Nick became a werewolf.
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tw: death, violence, drugs, alcohol
Nicolau may not have been your typical troubled teen, though he certainly was anything but well-behaved; school work took a back seat when he could instead have a fun night out. Or two. Or a long weekend.
When he was seventeen, he skipped school to instead undertake a wild seven-hour car ride with his friends to the coast and hit the party-epicentre of the nation: Rio de Janeiro.
That fateful night started out remarkably unremarkable. Just another party. Loud music, carefree people, the one terribly good looking guy for whom you need to empty at least one glass of cachaça before you can muster the courage to talk to him.
A solid plan that he should never put into action. Nico hadn't quite made it to the bar yet when he heard the bloodcurdling howling and the harrowing screams. It all happened so fast. Panicked people running. Soon he was running too, but he didn't get far. Something tore at his clothes, shattered his bones with its sheer force and dug its claws and fangs into his flesh.
He tapped in and out of reality. Every time he came to it got a little more quiet around him. The gunshots died down first. Then the screams faded out. No more howling either, except for the howling of an ambulance siren.
Five people were taken to hospital. Four of them would die over the course of the following weeks. And for the longest time it would seem that Nico would join them. After two weeks his condition rapidly improved out of nowhere and after another week he was eventually released from the hospital.
O único sobrevivente - the sole survivor of the massacre had come to national fame. And whilst he was still struggling to grasp that his friends, that good looking guy he was to shy to talk to, everyone at the party, was no longer alive, the media was eager to get his statement.
They had already made up their minds about what had happened: Drugs. Gangs. The usual. And Nico gladly took their money for parroting their lies. After another week had passed the media's interest turned to the next catastrophe, and Nico went back home to his father in Belo Horizonte.
Irrationally irate, Nico provoked a fight with his father that night he returned and was only stopped by an unprecedented devouring pain overtaking him when the full moon rose. And then everything went black.
When he came to he was naked and found himself in the pantry, buried under smashed shelves and spilled food. Every muscle in his body ached. And so did his arm that he could tell was broken. Confusion and panic and anger fought inside his heart for supremacy.
His gaze fell on his father who was sitting beside him, stoically, wearing bandages and holding a camcorder in his hand. The tape, he was adamant about, was something Nico had to watch immediately.
And when he did, reluctantly so, he saw a monster. Just like those from the party. It was lashing out. No. Not lashing out. Not anymore. It was writhing in pain and soon there was no more monster, only a man; it was Nico. And if what he had seen would not have been enough, his father made sure to spell out for him what he had become:
"Você é um licantropo. Um monstro. Nenhum filho meu." - You are a lycanthrope. A monster. No son of mine.
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