#This is dumb and it’s super late for me rn | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

c0la-queen · 11 months ago

Note

RAGHHHHHHHHH

Could you ever so kind and provide some general dating Headcannons for all the four boys?? 🥺👉👈

Maybe some extra with red leader or someone else if you’re fine with that??? 🥺💜

Mwah mwah you have amazing work <3 /p

Oh my gods I am SO sorry that this is so late!! For some reason, Mr. Tumblr decided not to notify me about your ask?? And then I was at my bestie's house this weekend, so I haven't checked my inbox until now. Begging for your forgiveness rn Anon!!

Also literally kissing you for asking for Red Leader!! Mwah, mwah!!

---

Edd

If you are dating Edd... girlie I am so sorry for your sanity.

Don't get me wrong, I love Edd! He was my first Eddsworld love, my pookie bear for real! But he's the biggest bastard of the entire gang and I stand by that.

Calls you dumb pet names to try and make you laugh. Sugar Tits (regardless of gender or lack thereof, might I add), Baby Doll, Sexy.

He WILL grab/slap your ass all the time. Even in public. Only grins when you glare at him.

This man is a horrible influence. It will be so hard to get your shit done if he has decided that you need to be spending time with him. Why worry about work or chores when you could be all cuddled up with him and Ringo on the couch?

Will sulk if you reject his attempts.

If he's trying to get shit done and you're pestering him for attention? He will drop his basket of laundry or the dishes in his hands in a millisecond.

If he's working on a commission or animation, he'll let you sit in his lap in his chair, let you sit all pretty for him while he works. When he finishes, if you've fallen asleep by then -which you usually do - then he'll carefully move you both to his bed and snuggle up to you and take a nap with you.

Speaking of cuddling, he does naturally run hot. Comes with being a big boy <3 But if you don't enjoy that, then he'll use his powers to cool down his skin for you. Anything to keep cuddling!

He also uses his powers whenever possible. Will abuse them without shame. He puts things on the highest shelf, just so you have to him for help. He'll put patches of ice on the floor under your feet, just so he can catch you before you fall (he'll never let you actually get hurt), and uses his super strength to scoop you up randomly and carry you around.

You cannot show your text messages to ANYONE. He will say filthy things, just to fluster you. Horny Bastard. Finds ways to turn even the most mundane conversations into teasing.

He'd do cute couple things with you, like painting together and swapping canvases every 5 minutes. His favorite is going to cat cafes. The cats literally love him, its like he's made of catnip with how they swarm him.

Physical affection is a huge thing with him. Even little touches throughout the day, like ruffling your hair as he passes by, or a big hug from behind while you fix food.

Overall, big teddy bear that just likes to see his darling blush.

Tom

As I've stated in previous works, Tom is a secret romantic.

He's not a traditional romantic like Matt, but he's romantic in his own way.

Likes parallel play a lot. Finds it relaxing to just sit in his room, testing new songs on his bass while you lay on his bed reading a book. Or in your room, lounging on one of your plush beanbag and organizing his Spotify playlists while you fold your laundry.

Dates with him consist of record stores, concerts, and late night walks.

He'll sing for you if you ask him to.

Very down to earth, both as a person and as a boyfriend. If you have problems, he'll listen patiently until you're done, then help you brainstorm solutions. He doesn't downplay or ignore your feelings, but he doesn't jump to emotions like others might.

He tends to sleep in late on his nights off, since he's more of a night owl than anything. You know that, so you've made it a little tradition to fix him coffee around 11. You know exactly how he takes it, and he always thanks you with a kiss on the cheek and a sleepy, mumbled "you're the best."

Very caring. He'll make sure you've eaten and had water. Will usher you to bed if he can see that you're tired, or do your chores for you if you can't do them for whatever reason. If you can't sleep, he'll make you a mug of chamomile tea and sing you a little lullaby.

When it comes to his monster tendencies, he tries to keep you away from it all. He's bitter about what he is, and he thinks that you're better off separated from that side of him.

At the start of relationship, he'd get angry if you tried to push it. He'd snap at you, distance himself, not talk to you for maybe a couple of days. Further on in the relationship, though, if you push the issue and reassure him that you love every side of him, even the monstrous one, then he'd be more willing. Willing to let you in, to let you see that part of him. He'd be nervous about it, but he'd do it because he loves you.

Matt

He is a traditional romantic! His Mama raised him right, and he drinks his Respect Juice.

Makes sure you two have date night at least once every week. Dressing up nice, going out to dinner or a play, taking a walk through the town to wind down the night. Heading back into the house, changing back into comfortable clothes. He'd wipe your makeup off for you, if you wear it.

Absolutely the kind of guy to get down on his knees in front of you and unbuckle/untie your shoes or high heels for you. He's just so devotional.

If, for whatever reason, you guys are unable to have your date night, he'll make it up to you in some way. A bouquet of your favorite flowers sitting on your bed with a little note. A passionate kiss before one of you has to leave the house. A heartfelt love letter sealed with wax.

Makes sure to text you throughout the day with sweet messages. Compliments, "I love you"s, selfies, updates on what is happening at work. Or just reminders that he's thinking of you. Misses you.

Likes to cook meals for you if its just the two of you at home. Breakfast is his forte, but he's not the worst at following a recipe.

Always amazing for advice. He'll let you talk to him while he hugs you from behind. If it's something sad, he might cry. Just the idea of you going through something negative makes him sad, too.

If he doesn't have advice for you, he'd do anything in his power to find someone who does. One of the other roommates, or even his mother, if you're comfortable with it.

Speaking of his mother, she absolutely adores you. Since Matt has such a good relationship with her, he's already told her so much about you. She thinks its wonderful that her baby has fallen in love. After a while, Matt will even bring you along to his lunches with his mother. You two hit it off instantly.

If you're okay with it, then Matt would love to show you off on his social media. He thinks you're so gorgeous, the entire world should know that he managed to land you. Its never anything invasive, and he always gets your permission before he posts things. Blocks any weird or gross comments.

Loves going on shopping dates with you. Most of the time, its at the mall or a mall in a different town, because he loves walking around and window shopping. Occasionally, he'll take you to more expensive stores. It doesn't bother him, he loves spoiling you. No matter where you two are, he'll buy you anything that you want. If you are adamant to spend your own money, he won't put up too much of a fuss, though he does prefer to pay for you.

He'll do that couples trend with you where you find nail polish that matches the other's eye color.

Gift giving is just one of his love languages in general. It makes him so happy to give his loved one things that he bought. For you specifically, he'll also throw in hand made gifts. He may not be the most talented artistically, but he'll stay awake late into the night, sitting on the floor with a YouTube tutorial playing, paper and cardboard scattered around, a pencil between his teeth, paint on his hands and smeared on his cheek. The end result may look a little crude, but he'll still present it to you with pride. And, of course, you always love it.

Tord

Tord is probably the most romantically stunted of the four. Its not that he doesn't love you, far from it really. He just grew up in an environment where love wasn't freely given, and was often limited for appearances.

His father, as the Red Leader, insisted that he keep a professional and feared image. So, Tord never saw him being affectionate with his mother.

It might be hard at first. You'll struggle. You two may fight. But you'll always make up in the end. He'll listen to you, try to understand your point of view.

He's not against physical affection, but he's able to live without it. Will indulge you whenever you ask. If he's busy, which he usually is, he'll let you drape yourself over him from behind while he sits in his chair, letting you rest your cheek on the top of his head and watch him work.

More than anything, his love language is words of affirmation. Despite being a man of few words, he'll always give you praise. He'll make sure you know that you are his, he is yours, and he loves you. Nothing will change that.

Scary dog privilege. He'll always walk just behind you in public, keeping a guiding hand on the small of your back. Stays alert of you surroundings and the people around, so that you don't have to. You don't even have to worry about people approaching you in public. One piercing glare from Tord is enough to deter anyone.

Not the best at giving advice to problems. He'll listen, but sometimes he can't quite understand why something is an issue. Doesn't invalidate your feelings on purpose, it just happens inadvertently at times. Always, ALWAYS apologizes and holds you close when he realizes what he did.

His preferred dates are nights in at home. Cuddled up on the couch with takeout watching shitty rom-coms. Cooking food that he ate growing up in Norway while you sit at the kitchen table watching. Going to the convenience store at midnight to get Ben and Jerry's in the middle of anime binges.

You become his crutch. When he's having bad paranoia on nights that are too quiet, he'll seek you out. Just having you lay in bed with him, warm and solid and breathing, always calms him down.

He will never let you meet his parents. You are one of the very few good things in his life, and he wants to keep that away from his fucked up home life. Might let you meet his little sister, but not for a long time.

Surprisingly, he does tend to talk more when its just the two of you. He allows you into his head, verbalizing his thoughts to you. He'll ramble about his projects, tell you about the history behind his culture, or rant about things that annoy him. Denies it vehemently in front of others.

He is a huge tease, second only to Edd. What's dangerous is how casual he is about it. Loves making you squirm, and he'll never even change his expression. Sometimes he won't even be looking at you, but rest assured that he is swimming in satisfaction over how flustered you are.

Red Leader

I have so many thoughts about him. Oh my lord.

This is going off the scenario where Reader is a Red Army soldier and met him through the army, after the events of The End.

I want to clarify that this is NOT following the events of TBATF!!! This is my own Red Army timeline, what I refer to in my Eddsworld bubble as "The Bad End"

There are two ways that you'd be able to catch Red Leader's attention. Either you are an extremely talented soldier that does well among your peers, enough to earn the praise of your superior officers and eventually Red Leader himself. Or, you were assigned as his personal assistant to help with paperwork and meetings, but you were so good at handling his temper and attitude that he found himself surprised.

The latter of the two is my favorite, so I'll be working under that one.

Before you, Red Leader had been through several assistants. None of them lasted more than a month. By nature, he was a moody, temperamental man. The stress of the army and oncoming war only made that worse. He saw those previous assistants as nuisances, only getting in his way. He would yell at them, berate them, drive them to the brink until they beg Paul and Pat to transfer them.

When they assigned you to him, they expected the same thing to happen. The two even made bets on how long you'd last. On your first day, Red Leader was nasty to you. Gruff and rude. But... you bit back. That took him by surprise. Instead of taking the insult and shuffling out like a puppy with its tail between its legs, you pursed your lips and gave him a stern look and talked to him in a way that nobody dared to. He should've been angry. Should have screamed at you, discharged you from the army in a heartbeat.

Instead, he found that he quite enjoyed it. He enjoyed your spitfire. Not that he'd let you know. He only gave you a noncommittal hum and dismissed you with a wave of his hand. But... he kept you around. Even found excuses for you to come into his office more than necessary. His penchant for teasing came back full force. He'd poke and prod, finding ways to make you react with that fire he so loved.

It takes a long time for him to finally make a move. Probably takes a near-death experience for him, or an injury to you for him to realize that he wants this. He wants a future with you.

At first, he may seem a little cold in public. Not to the degree that his father was - he promised himself that he would never be like his father. Simply a more... professional air about the entire thing. It was more out of anxiety than anything. He didn't want to make you a target, didn't want to cause you to get hurt. As his army grows more powerful and takes over more and more countries, he grows more comfortable with PDA. He knows that when he is the most powerful man in the world, he doesn't have to worry about anyone hurting you.

He would probably treat you more like a spouse than a girlfriend/boyfriend right off the bat. He's older now, thinking more about the future than the present. He already knows that he wants to be with you forever, so why go through the formalities and hassle of dating?

Always makes time for you whenever he can. If he's in a meeting with his generals or another world leader, he'll sneak text messages to you. Doesn't give a shit if he's caught. What are they going to do to him, Red Leader?

If he's cooped up in his office all day, his door is always open to you. Loves having you drop by unannounced to bring him food or coffee. He'll let you climb into his lap while he works, or sit behind him in his chair and cling to him. Even if you're just sitting in a separate chair nearby, working on your own stuff. He's happy.

If you want to continue being a soldier, or his assistant, he'll let you. But he's also perfectly happy to have you simply be his partner and not have a care in the world. You could sit all pretty in his quarters waiting for him to get off duty, or use the time to pursue your own hobbies and interests. As long as you're happy and cared for, it's okay with him.

Spoils you rotten. You're Red Leader's, so of course you only deserve the best things. Anything in the world you want, you only have to ask for it. It's yours. He would raze entire cities just to see you smile.

He does enjoy taking you out on dates. While also spending time with you, he sees it as a way to show you off to the world. Dressing you up in the finest clothes that he got you, the prettiest jewelry that he bought. Taking you to restaurants and operas where everyone can see you hanging on his arm. It makes him puff up with pride.

When the two of you are alone, he's so adoring. Loves snuggling. It's a struggle to convince him to let you out of bed in the mornings, he'll just be clinging to you. If you do somehow manage to escape his grasp, he'll catch you around the waist and drag you back to bed. Won't stop until Paul or Pat message him to get his ass out of bed. He always grumbles about how "it's my damn army, I should get to sleep in as long as I want".

Sometimes, at night, he has pains in his right shoulder, the side where he's burned and amputated. It can range from a dull ache to excruciating pain. On nights that it hurts too much to move, you'll scramble out of bed and get his medication from his nightstand, gently coaxing him to take it. You'll hold him and comfort him until the pain subsides and he falls back asleep.

He doesn't like to talk about it, really. It feels weird, letting anyone see this part of his life. Letting you see his vulnerability. Letting you see him.

But he does.

#eddsworld #eddsworld x reader #eddsworld tom #eddsworld tord #eddsworld matt #eddsworld tom x reader #eddsworld tord x reader #eddsworld edd #eddsworld matt x reader #eddsworld edd x reader #requested #eddsworld red leader #eddsworld red leader x reader

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stars-and-the-min · 10 months ago

Text

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (5) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n formula 1's 'newest' WAG makes her race debut and gives her cousin a headache

i did actually screech like a parrot watching this race and then immediately adjusted some of my predictive writings

masterlist | last part | part 5 | next part

TWITTER

F1 WAGS @f1wagnews · 3h Selina Bui spotted around the paddock!

pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h the royal couple of australia (i don't make the rules 🤷‍♀️)

↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 2h why... did she wear blue...? she knows basic color theory... right??? ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h i completely missed that... SILENA??? ↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 2h HER ASS IS NOT ENDING UP IN THE PAPAYA GARAGE IN THAT DRESS 😭 SHE'S NOT THAT DUMB IS SHE???

MANIFESTED OSCALINA | LONDON N3 @12m0red4ys · 26m SCREECHING RN we used to dream of these days

↳ lina bui x2 grammy winner @urdaisea · 25m '2-time grammy award winner' HELL YEAH SHE IS ↳ MANIFESTED OSCALINA | LONDON N3 @12m0red4ys · 26m the most employed wag in formula 1 🫶 (lily is a close 2nd)

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 13m HELP HAS ANYONE ELSE SEEN THAT CLIP OF LINA AND THE CHINESE INTERVIEWER 😭 ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 13m [translation] interviewer: this is your cousin's 3rd f1 season, how come you've never come support him? lina: he said he doesn't like my nagging interviewer: then will you be supporting zhou guanyu in shanghai? his home race could use some family support lina: even if he asked me to visit, there's nothing i can do, i'm in shenzhen performing a sold-out concert ↳ clovie @ luvyouvie · 7m she's so done lmao what can she do if zhou doesn't want her there ↳ emme @flowersforcami · 5m lina: i'm fucking busy too, have you considered that??

INSTAGRAM

selinabui just posted to their story

(translation: Brother Yu [Zhou Guanyu], come and save me)

TWITTER

rubyyy @piastriworld · 2h oh wait shit she's cute as fuck what ↳ rubyyy @piastriworld · 2h fyi this is abt lina bui ↳ rubyyy @piastriworld · 2h i was kinda expecting a full-on rockstar but she's super soft???

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 1h the same woman not even 12hrs later

clara @ zgy24 · 37m i do actually think it's insane we got an 'oscar piastri's partner' graphic before we got a 'zhou guanyu's cousin' graphic ↳ clara @ zgy24 · 37m selina dear, we know you can't stand him but we're sure he'd appreciate it if you popped by the kick garage on your way over 🫶 ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 17m you sound like my mother but i'll have you know he sent me this:

很油腻 directly translates to 'very greasy' but it basically means 'ew' or 'cringe'

↳ clara @ zgy24 · 15m LMAO OH MY BAD ↳ xixi²⁴ ⁴⁴ @grandegrid · 14m the sheer amount of info you get from these two ss 😭 like ofc they use wechat, zhou guanyu sounds like an annoying older brother, she calls him 鱼哥, she trolls the emperor nickname, THE PURE SIBLING DYNAMIC IS EVERYTHING ↳ ZG24 future WDC · @zhoupdates · 14m zhou cousins crumbs 💚

lina !!! @EB_selina · 29m mistakes were made, the blue dress and orange-- sorry, PAPAYA headphones are not a look 💀 ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 28m wonder if it's too late to sneak into the sauber garage... ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 12m i'm actually wheezing at this bc that's EXACTLY what my oomf said when ur pics first dropped ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 10m well i wish ur oomf gave me a heads-up before i left the hotel

INSTAGRAM

selinabui

liked by zhouguanyu24 and 112,385 others

selinabui went on a tour around the paddock (finally visited the man racing with my number 🫶) tagged: zhouguanyu24 and logansargeant

pi4str1 babygirl, i think you wandered the wrong way

pastry81 oscar's girlfriend meeting oscar's boyfriend

zhouguanyu24 我给了你一个愿望 trans: i gave you one job/i had one wish ↳ selinabui @ zhouguanyu24 你是不是我的亲表哥！ trans: are you even my cousin!

logansargeant This feels like an achievement ↳ selinabui @ logansargeant it is, stay slaying cap, so glad to see you race today 🫶

no2argeant logan getting a double feature over her cousin mhm those are mutuals via oscar frfr (loscar and oscalina and... lolina?) ↳ selinabui @no2argeant we use selogan but lolina is 100x cuter

TWITTER

piaa⁸¹ @papayaeightyone · 3h HELP SHE ACTUALLY SNUCK INTO THE SAUBER GARAGE

xixi²⁴ ⁴⁴ @grandegrid · 2h both cousins are equally unserious bc why did i remember the 'who's the most famous person in ur contacts' thing kick sauber did and why did zhou say jj lin when his very famous GRAMMY WINNING cousin seems to regularly bug him on the daily ↳ pookie piastri @op81ln4 · 2h he probably forgot lmao it's like she's not famous in his eyes "oh lina? u mean my annoying little cousin? oh right, she's a rockstar or smth"

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 2h ok i'm convinced she's gonna stay in the williams garage now like it's almost guaranteed she's not headed back to mclaren ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 2h oscar, honey, come over and remove ur girlfriend from the williams garage, she's yapping with logan ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 8m I JUST SAW LINA'S POST 💀💀 y'know she's right, lolina is cuter than selogan but now i need to know how much logan's been 3rd wheeling

kayla @luna_apocolypse · 16m oscar checking his socials and it's his fans debating on the best ship name for his girlfriend and bestie

MESSAGES

from the phone of selina bui

TWITTER

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 1h realising that lina being at the race means we're probably not gonna get her entertaining af f1 live-tweets

↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 1h no joke, we missed out on aus gp live-tweets bc she was flying to jakarta but the saudi gp tweets gave me LIFE

INSTAGRAM/MESSAGES

from the phone of logan sargeant

TWITTER

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 39m red flag??? already??? we just started??? ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 34m they cut to lina in the mclaren garage and i'm wheezing she looks so amused by the turn of events 😭

jess @OPIXSTRI · 3m oh they knew what they were doing cutting to selina bui after zhou guanyu retired ↳ jess @OPIXSTRI · 3m new f1 reaction pic just dropped guys, perfectly summarises the kick sauber saga

↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 2m obsessed with her refusal to wear the orange headphones genuinely think she would rather go deaf than have those pictures circulate the internet

xixi²⁴ ⁴⁴ @grandegrid · 5m we got the zhou guanyu's cousin graphic but at what cost

↳ Stake F1 Team KICK Sauber @stakef1team_ks · 18m We're sorry to let you down 😔 ↳ lina !!! @EB_selina · 17m i don't care which long-suffering intern this is. get out. ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 20m lmao lina's sauber pit stop tweets vs oscar's f3 drs tweets, fight 🤣

INSTAGRAM

selinabui Suzuka, Japan

liked by eb_jonno and 200,371 others

selinabui loved the experience, will not be going to another one bc i'm 94% sure i jinxed EVERYONE i hold dear in this sport - stay safe out there 👍 see y'all in seoul in 2-3 business days <3 tagged: mclaren and oscarpiastri

logansargeant You did *not* jinx anyone ↳ selinabui @ logansargeant logan, honey, i'm a bit depressed about you but sure man, whatever you say :'(

ninisf1diary how'd you find your first ever live race? ↳ selinabui @ninisf1diary very fun, loved the bit where oscar got to hop back into the garage after the first lap

mclaren Are we still gonna see you in Imola 🥺 ↳ selinabui @ mclaren i think oscar is gonna drag me over kicking and screaming but i guess i'll be there

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification

#f1 #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x oc #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri fanfic #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri smau #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 smau #f1 fic #f1 smau #f1 imagine #f1 social media au

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leclercvsx · 1 year ago

Text

I miss your facts | TEXTING AU

LANDO NORRIS

pairings: lando x reader

summary: y/n and lando are bestfriends, y/n liking lando. She introduces him to one of her bestfriends, he forgets about her and only realises what he missed when it’s too late

warnings: mentions of suicide!

y/n <3

did you know that some sharks can’t stop swimming otherwise they’ll die?

Lan <3

that’s useful, thanks

y/n <3

EXACTLY! i knew i was needed

Lan <3

you’re always needed

11:23am | thursday

y/n <3

i miss you, can you come over after training?

Lan <3

i will, might be a little while though

y/n <3

don’t take tooo long

14:56pm | Tuesday

y/n <3

did you know that there’s over 500 different species of sharks?

Lan <3

i didn’t know that, no. cool

y/n <3

OH ALSO

there’s a new girl at my work, she’s super nice

you should come meet her!

Lan <3

i might

10:35am | Saturday

Lan <3

you were right, Taylor is actually really nice

y/n <3

SEE? I TOLD YOU

me and her are gonna hang out on tuesday if you wanna come

Lan <3

sure

16:45pm | Wednesday

y/n <3

australia is wider than the moon

you should tell Oscar that

Lan <3

Taylor told me that

y/n <3

oh really? wow she really knows her facts!

Lan <3

yeah, she’s pretty smart

18:18pm | Saturday

y/n <3

do you wanna hang out?

i’m bored

Lan <3

i’m with Taylor rn

y/n <3

oh, nevermind then😊

12:25pm | Sunday

y/n <3

human teeth are the only body part that cannot heal themselves

Lan <3

i know, Taylor told me

y/n <3

it’s illegal to own just ONE guinea pig in switzerland

Lan <3

Taylor’s from Switzerland, she told me

17:34pm | Tuesday

y/n <3

the heart of the shrimp is located in the head!

Lan <3

the shrimps heart is located in the head

y/n <3

haha, we said the same thing!!

Lan <3

Taylor told me the fact, haha

y/n <3

ohh

9:27am | Thursday

y/n <3

do you have time? i really wanna talk about something

Lan <3

i’m with Taylor right now, but what’s up?

y/n <3

oh okay, nevermind then :)

17:26pm | Monday

Lan <3

octopuses are so weird, they’re cool looking though

y/n <3

i thought you hated octopuses?

Lan <3

i did before.

but Taylor told me some cool facts about them

y/n <3

i did that with sharks🙃

14:27pm | Friday

y/n <3

you’ve been hanging out with Taylor a lot

Lan <3

anything wrong?

y/n <3

nothings wrong, i just miss you

Lan <3

i’m not leaving you though.

y/n <3

no, i know

13:45pm | Wednesday

y/n <3

hiiii! do you wanna hang out?

hello?

read

16:56pm | Wednesday

Lan <3

sorry i was hanging out with Taylor

y/n <3

i know.

Lan <3

why are you mad?

y/n <3

i’m not?

Lan <3

why is it so wrong that i’m hanging out with her?

18:34pm | Sunday

y/n <3

you’re forgetting me.

lando

i’m not though?

hello?

answer me.

i’m not forgetting you.

14:30pm | Wednesday

y/n <3

you’re all i have, had.

lando

why are you using dots? don’t scare me

y/n <3

is Taylor all you needed?

lando

stop.

17:25pm | Tuesday

y/n <3

i’m sorry

lando

for what?

stop leaving me on read, please.

stop scaring me.

you’re not funny.

18:45pm | Thursday

lando

i miss you

i was dumb

i’m really sorry

Venus is the only planet to spin clockwise

i really wanted to tell you, i miss your facts. i love you. i hope one day we meet again

you could’ve told me about Taylor. i reread our messages, i saw that you needed me

i’m sorry

12:34pm | Sunday

lando

you looked really pretty at your funeral today

i miss you

pez candles were made for you, so you could stop smoking

i could smell it on you before, now i miss it.

3:34am | Tuesday

lando

sharks skin feels like sandpaper.

7:17am | Wednesday

lando

sharks are one of the oldest living species on the earth.

but you knew that, right?

——————————

this made me sob writing it😭

ib: this tiktok

masterlist | request page

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luffyvace · 10 months ago

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Akutagawa as your boyfriend ☀︎

Umm happy late b day Aku…😭 I’m totally super late for this I KNOW. But! I’m doing it anyway! >:3 late or not :P Plus I Just wanted to write for him since I really like this dude (〃ω〃) (Light blood, death and killing mentions but not in detail)

Akutagawa b day hcs first >;}

planning everything out and hiding it from him is kind of a task. 😅 the guy’s pretty stealthy himself so ya gotta make sure he doesn’t sneak up on you while your prepping things.

Buuut with the help of everyone from the port mafia (except Mori- joking! he does help but Elise does 90% of the work) you planned a mini party <3

Gin got the food! (Figs and tea enters chat)

Higuchi got the decorations! (streamers, balloons, tables, chairs)

Hirotsu keeps akutagawa busy (tea and chatting LOL)

Elise makes the banners (hints poorly drawn dead versions of everyone—extra blood for aku<3)

Kajii makes (lemon shaped) confetti poppers!!

Koyo hosted/recorded it all 💗

Chuuya brought wine and the cake (both were really expensive and tasty good job Chuuya)

Q brought lots of presents!! :3

Annnnd Tachihara! Brought some ~port mafia style~ party games (you played mafia LOL)

now general relationship things 😚

He treats you like how he does Gin, there is peace between the two of you and you have friendly interactions. (Romantic as well, for you) he will even go as far as to do favors for you but we’ll dabble in that more later ☆)

acts of service is his #1 love language. There’s no convincing me otherwise. When I say ‘he will do anything for you’ besides killing this is what I mean. You really don’t have to ask either. I talk about this some more later but, examples: done with your plate? He’ll take it. He remembers you said you needed xyz, he got it for you. You said you wanted to ____ but you fell asleep, so he did it.

hope you get along with Gin because to continue a relationship with him past 2 minutes, you need to. He will never choose friends over family. I stand on that.

honest man.

Its canon, of course this would apply to a relationship too :)

you never have to worry about him lying, thankfullly. the bad news is…this guy isn’t just honest..he’s brutally honest 😀

which he’s not dumb, but he’s also not one to pacify feelings. So say you created something and you’ve been working on this piece for a while now, (whether your an artist, writer, sculptor, something else—whatever), he takes a look at it and singlehandedly points out all the flaws 🧍‍♀️

not in a rude way-

just genuinely telling your mistakes. Which- I know can hurt because you spent a lot of time on it…..but as lest you can fix it now..? 🤷‍♀️

He respects you. Of course he does! How could you love someone you don’t respect?!

why I’m mentioning this then?? Because to him, respect is very important. There’s few that he respects personally and not because of his job.

like Dazai (sorta bc of his job but shh), Gin or Atsushi (somewhat)

And just to clear it up those he has respect for because of his job would be mori or hirotsu

so the fact that you have his respect is a mile stone!! 👯‍♀️💃💃

He’s loyal but it ain’t a fault 😋🤪

seriously tho this dude is still chasing Dazai even after he “disgraced the mafia’s name” and left to the ada

So for you?? This is simply proof that he ain’t neva leavin you, and you ain’t neva leavin him 😙 (I don’t make the rules)

even If he disagrees with your actions/opinions he will talk it out with you 😱

now he might sound a bit upset, and if your acting absolute bonkers rn and need some sense smacked into you- he might yell too. But that’s mostly if it’s for your well being.

other than that, yes the hotheaded Ryuu will calm down for you (that kinda rhymes ☝️🤓)

Bonus!:

living with the Akutagawa’s! ( ✌︎'ω')✌︎

going more into acts of service, you and Gin hardly ever have to worry about chores or errands

he doesn’t really do it for the purpose of your validation, and genuinely doesn’t expect a thank you either

”hm? Oh…it’s nothing.”

Is his response when you try to thank him

he does it because he’s responsible not for praise

although I will say, seeing as though he has a lot of respect for you, as I said earlier, you may get a semi flustered/shocked facial expression

not necessarily blushing, just a expression that shows it caught him off guard ;P

Its not uncommon to see him cleaning around the house and asking if you have any laundry

housewife Ryuunosuke LOL 😂

When goes out to get groceries he asks you and Gin if there’s anything specific you want him to buy and if yes, he’ll get it for you

just like in the anime with Gin, he doesn’t mind doing favors for you as well <3

if you decide you wanna clean up or go to the store yourself he won’t stop you and be like ‘nonono I got it you sit down 🥺’. I don’t mean this in a bad way but he’s not a gentleman on purpose

I feel he’s the type of guy to do things that you consider gentlemanly but he just considers it being polite

oh it’s fine he’s got the groceries 👌

got a order for pick up? Oh well he was going out anyway, he’ll get it 🤷

he’s got the door 👍

don’t worry about the bill he’ll pay it (restaurant or house bill 😉)

another thing…! ♡

sometimes when you and Gin wanna watch a movie but Ryuu’s still doing the dishes….

Rashomon!

do the dishes :3 (while he watches the movie with you guys)

I wasn’t gonna write these at first but I’m real glad I did! I love these and finally wrote for our guy Ryuunosuke!!

WHEN I TYPED DAZAI’S NAME IT AUTOCORRECTED FO DASANI AT FIRST HAHAHHAHA

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incognit0slut · 5 months ago

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LITERALLY just thinking about chief unit!spencer (or just spencer idk i'm not complaining to be fucked in his desk tho) and reader's relationship. They both hate each other but somehow always find themselves all over each other. Until one day they're staying late in the office and spencer think it's a good idea to fuck reader in his desk. They both felt so wrong yet so right. The reader will stuttering while spencer fuck her from behind "you know, spence, i think i should get going. I-i need to feed m-my cat." And then spencer will answer "yeah? What's your cat name?" Reader's brain practically turn into a mush because she couldn't remember her cat's name. She tried so hard to remember but all she can think is just how good spencer's cock felt sliding in and out her pussy. And then spencer would mocking her like, "you're so cockdrunk you cant remember your own cat's name? Did i fuck you dumb, y/n? Yeah? That's what i thought."

Idk mannn im like super horny rn and need this kinda fic when spencer being mean asap😩

unit chief spencer is really scratching my brain and the way you describe it has me on all fours like i need him to tap it from behind BUT I can’t imagine him being that mean even when you’re supposed to hate each other (my version of spencer is still a slight softie) so instead of being mean with words (i’m not even sure he can talk that dirty) he’s teasing you by prolonging your orgasm aka he’s edging you so bad there’s nothing you can do but beg him until you’re a complete mess drooling all over his desk

#h0rnythoughts #making a new tag because i have been getting these kind of asks lately #NOT COMPLAINING #you can talk as dirty as you like here :3 #this is a safe space <3 #lou answers

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princessbrunette · 1 year ago

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jj with baby mama that he has a past with. like, they aren’t currently talking, a fight or something, and it’s real awkward. he’ll still show up to appointments but even the doctors like 🧍‍♀️

so they aren’t really talking, it’s awkward, ect. and then she’s calling him real late at night, and he’s picking up. they still love eachother, obvi, but just haven’t been showing it. and she’s just in tears, sobbing her eyes out in worry and panic about how she doesn’t want to give their kid a broken home, no family, ect. does he go to her 🥹

stopp omg i’ll cry rn :((

jj just sitting up in the middle of the night hearing his phone ringing and when he sees your name he panics a little because something must be wrong right? you’d never just call him randomly?

and he panics even more when he groggily picks up and hears your little cries on the other side of the phone, making him sit up a little more, waking up fully :(

“hey? woah talk to me, talk to me what’s happened?”

“nothings happened jj just— god, this was stupid i shouldn’t have called—”

“its okay, hey— what’s with the tears?”

“its just… god, okay. i’m here right now, all alone with this baby in my tummy and i just— i feel so alone. i’m doing this all by myself, and it’s scary, and— and i’m just screwing this kid over already because she’s gonna grow up in a broken home because you don’t even like me and i understand— im ruining your life right now i get it but —”

“woah, okay— pump the brakes. who said i didn’t like you?”

“well, i’m having your baby?”

his heart just breaks. your voice is just so small and scared and you’re blaming yourself when he’s the one who knocked you up and he just wants to slap himself. this was on him.

“babe.” he sighs, and it’s the first time he’s called you that since he put the baby in you. “this is all on me, alright? all of it. i was irresponsible, and i got a shitty pullout game, yeah? so let’s get that straight, none of this is on you.” he clarifies, and you hear him rub a hand over his face. “secondly i— of course i like you. shit, i more than like you. you’re carrying my baby. i love that little girl more than anything in this world already, and…. i’m sorry i’ve been super fuckin’ shitty. i think i was scared but like, that’s dumb because i’m not the one carrying it obviously so — long story short i should have been there for you. i… wanna be there for ya, kid.” he takes a breath.

there’s silence on the other end of the line for a bit, but he knows you’re still there because of the sniffles. “jj…”

“yeah?”

“can you come over?”

“i’m already half way out the door.”

#anon #babydaddy!jj #dad!jj #jj maybank prompt

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wildpeachfarm · 7 months ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/wildpeachfarm/753838314867638272/yall-pewdipie-mentioned-i-need-to-give-yall-some?source=share

⬆️REMEMBER ME??🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥TOLD YALL HES OUR FRIEND 🙏🙏 WITH NEW NEWS ABOUT PEWDS AND DREAM 😭😭🙏🙏im so happy yall have no idea

anyways . answering the question about pewds being seen as problematic - rn ppl who still hate him and see him as racist and antisemitic are just chronically online twitter ppl/ppl who just want clout from dumb jokes. lately everyone's super chill about him!! and when he had a child everyone was pretty much very happy for him!! sure ppl love making jokes about his problematic past but it's same breed of ppl who still make grooming jokes about dream. so the only ppl who will be mad at dream for collabing (? idk how to correctly call it) with pewds are the same ppl who still think he is a groomer and racist and homophobic and allat💯💯🔥🔥🔥🙏🙏normal ppl won't give a fuck I promise

ok this is the gist of what I got about the pewds stuff from last night. I guess it depends on each person thinking if he has since redeemed himself. Seems like he has changed a lot though

#ask #anon #anti drummyache tag #tagging for discourse mention

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awkwardtickleetoo · 10 months ago

Text

Ler!Sapnap Week Day 5 - Tease/Ghost Tickles

hello everyone :D i am back with another (very very very late) fic for @sleepy--anon ‘s ler!sapnap week!!!! wooooo!!!

this is for day 5’s prompt which is teases/ghost tickles!! make sure you check out the original post here, and make sure you show sleepy your love and support for putting this week together in the first place!!!

this one isn’t too crazy or anything, but i experimented a little bit with the formatting in docs and then had to try something different here, and i’ve never done anything quite like this before so i think it’s pretty cool :D hope everyone enjoys!!

orange text is sapnap’s messages, green text is dream’s messages

lee!dream, ler!sapnap, 1.8k words

enjoy :)

Dream’s phone screen lit up from where it laid flat on his nightstand, catching his eye as he turned away from the mini fridge he’d walked across the room to grab a bottle of water from. He twisted the lid off the bottle, picking up the phone as he took a sip, seeing that the notification had been a text from Sapnap.

hey

are you super crazy busy rn

Dream smiled, always endeared by Sapnap’s word choice, taking another sip before putting the bottle down and typing out a response.

not rly

i put all the video stuff in files but it’s too late to start editing so i’m just gonna do it tomorrow

why?

Dream sat down on the edge of his bed, placing his phone on the pillow beside him and twisting to his left, then to his right, stretching his back. He watched a new text come in, followed by more typing bubbles.

i just had a really dumb stressful meeting and i’m fucking frustrated

not like mad i just feel like i have so much pent up energy

and i really wanna come tickle you

Dream felt his stomach flip as he read the words, cold water bottle resting against his thigh and sending a chill up his spine. His thumb hovered over the keyboard, and he blinked in disbelief at his phone screen as he read the message over and over again. After almost a full minute, he formed a response.

……what

Very eloquent, if you ask him.

i want to tickle you

you should let me

Dream felt his stomach flip again, warmth spreading through his chest and nerves settling in his throat. He swallowed harshly, taking in a breath and drinking more of his water as he quickly tapped out another text.

why???

to get the energy out

???????

Dream stared at his phone, in complete disbelief and confusion at the words before him. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, unable to tell if it was from fear, anticipation, excitement, or embarrassment. He chuckled to himself, nerves sending electric shocks through his veins, making the tips of his fingers tingle as he shook the feeling out. He watched those three bubbles pop up again, and he pushed himself back further on his bed to sit cross-legged as a response came in.

cmoooonnnn

you know you love it

i do not!

shut up!!

don’t lie

i’m sure you’re loving this too

i’m sure you’re already getting goosebumps

sapnap

and you can feel the excitement already running through you

sapnap.

and the nerves too huh

oh i’m sure you already have those nervous giggles don’t you aww :((

sapnap!

Dream took in a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling above him and exhaling slowly. His chest felt tight, and he shook out his tingling hands before pressing his knuckles against his cheeks to check their temperature– to his dismay, they were already burning hot, though he could feel that before he even touched them. A surge of warmth quickly spread through his whole body, the tingles in his hands growing stronger with the quickly forming butterflies in his stomach.

yes cutie?

stop it

please

but i don’t wanna :(

Dream couldn’t help but chuckle at the response, always entertained by Sapnap’s form of teasing, biting his lip to stop more giggles from falling, a soft whine escaping instead.

you can’t just

god sap

you can’t do that

but it’s so funnnn to mess with you

and you’re so cute :((

shut UP oh my god

so can i please come tickle you??

pleeeease :(

Dream would be lying if he said he didn’t hesitate.

He scoffed, squirming where he sat, uncrossing his legs just to cross them the other way, rubbing his palm over his knee and pressing his fingertips into the material of his pajama pants. His toes curled underneath him, and he switched between sitting straight up and leaning over to look down at his phone screen.

no!!

shut up no you cannot

fuck off

dreamie :(

wait

i know how to convince you :)

Dream watched in fear as the three bubbles disappeared, waiting approximately three seconds in stunned silence before he realized what that implied.

what

what are you doing

what does that mean what are you gonna do

sap please

whatever it is just

don’t do it

“Fuck…” He whispered to himself when he received no response, looking around anxiously, his entire body tense as he waited to hear the tell-tale sounds of footsteps approaching his bedroom door. He waited, and waited… and waited…

But they never came.

He glanced down at his phone, just as a new message came in.

A voice memo. It was a voice memo.

He was fucked.

i’m not listening to that

yes you are

sapnap.

play it <3

Dream whined again, breaking off into a groan as he shook his head and rubbed his palms against his thighs. He took in another breath, falling into the nervous giggles that Sapnap predicted so accurately, dropping his head into his hands and peeking through his fingers as he shakily pressed play. He squeezed his eyes shut, covering his face with his hand, lowering his phone volume and holding the speaker up close to his ear so he could hear.

“Alright, handsome, here’s how this is gonna work,” Sapnap’s voice played through the audio, nonchalant as he spoke, but his tone was still stern and matter of fact.

“Oh, god,” Dream groaned, curling in on himself more, biting his lip as he pulled his knees up to hide his face there instead.

“I’m gonna send you this, and then I’m gonna head up to your room, and by the time I get up there, I can promise you’ll be begging me to tickle you.”

“Oh my god…” Dream said with a gasp, covering his mouth with his hand, his entire body buzzing with anticipation, curling his toes against the sheets below him once more. His phone went silent, after a small chuckle from Sapnap came through, and he turned it around to see that the audio had ended. His hands shook as he went to type out another response, his fingers unsure of their own words.

this is stupid

i hate you

leave me alone

Just as he sent those, another voice memo came through, slightly longer this time. Dream whimpered, a pout spreading across his face against his own will, shaking his head and looking up at the ceiling above him. He could feel the tingling sensation spreading further through his body, through his chest and arms and legs, making it nearly impossible to bite his lip hard enough to hold in his giggles. He covered his face with his hands and threw his head back, trying to regulate his breathing enough to calm his nerves down.

Needless to say, it didn’t work very well.

no more

please

you can’t do this

listen to it dreamie

it’s okay

Dream groaned again, assuming the same hiding position as he hit play on the new voice memo.

“I’m sure you’re already feeling those ghost tickles too,” Sapnap teased through the audio, and Dream gasped and shook his head at how well Sapnap knew how he felt, curls swaying against his forehead. “I’m sure they’re swirling all around your tummy right now, that’s where they always get you most, huh?”

“St–“ Dream stuttered to himself, turning his head away from his phone as if Sapnap was already in the room with him, teasing him in person instead.

“Now, like I said before, I’m gonna come to your room, and– y’know what? I’ll actually be nice, because I really do just wanna wind down and get all cozy and giggly with you, and I know you love that stuff too–“

“Fuck,” Dream whispered as Sapnap spoke, feeling the warmth spread through his chest and across his face once again, the fluttery feeling in his tummy growing even stronger.

He had to admit, it did sound nice after all this.

“–so I won’t even make you ask… I am gonna tease you to no end still, though, but you knew that already,” Sapnap said with a small giggle, and Dream couldn’t help but giggle as well. “Anyway, hope you’re prepared, because by the time you’re done listening to this I’m probably already on my way.”

“Wh–!” Dream yelped, whipping his phone around to see the audio end, and he stared at his bedroom door for a few seconds in fear. He scoffed in fake offense, rolling his eyes and typing out a message.

you’re ridiculous

you know that, right?

Instead of a response, the top Dream’s phone screen lit up with Sapnap’s contact information, the photo of Sapnap and Patches he had set as his photo staring back at him.

Sapnap was calling him now.

He let it ring for a few seconds, tapping the banner to bring the call full screen, before hitting accept and slowly raising the phone to his ear.

“…Hello?” Dream began, voice quiet and nervous.

“Hey, sweetheart!” Sapnap said, voice overly chipper and enthusiastic. Dream swallowed against the lump in his throat when he heard a door close on the other end of the call. “How are you feeling?”

“Sapnap…” Dream mumbled, anxiously twirling the drawstring of his pajama pants around his pointer finger, looking off to the side to try to compose himself.

“What’s wrong, Dreamie?” Sapnap asked softly, as if he was speaking to a scared animal, and Dream would be lying if he said the tone didn’t help him relax, at least a tiny bit.

“You know…”

“Awww, honey,” Sapnap cooed, making Dream groan and cover his face with his free hand. “Are you nervous?”

“Mhm…” Dream nodded, even though no one was there to see it.

“Aw, Dream,” Sapnap cooed more, and Dream could practically hear the pout on his face, making him groan again. “It’ll be okay, you know I’ll be nice to you, right?”

“I do, but still,” Dream explained, switching his focus to picking at a thread on his comforter that had suddenly become the most interesting thing in the world.

“Yeah, I know, you’re just wound up, huh?”

“Mhm,” Dream replied without thinking, making Sapnap chuckle on the other end.

“It’s okay, Dream. You don’t have to wait much longer.

“Wh…” Dream began, looking up at his door as he heard the long awaited footsteps growing closer and closer. “Why– why do you say that?”

“Take a wild guess,” Sapnap replied, and before Dream had the chance to entertain the idea, there was a knock at his bedroom door, making him gasp and squeal and the pit in his stomach feel like it had dropped ten stories. He couldn’t hold in his giggles anymore, gripping his phone tighter as the door opened and Sapnap walked in, a thrilled smile on his face as he continued laughing along with Dream. “There’s my baby boy.”

“Noho, go away!” Dream shook his head, placing one hand over his stomach as he felt the ghost tickles running rampant over his skin. He watched as Sapnap smiled sweetly at him, ending their call and placing his phone in his pocket.

“Alright,” He began. “Let’s get started.”

#lee!dream #ler!sapnap #cals writing #sleepy’s ler!sapnap week

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