#This is completely headcanon bait

[lconoclasts]

is agent black a gym rat. Where has she been working out for hundreds of years. He barren ass apartment. I would say greys living quarters but does she actually go anywhere. I think she walks everywhere. She counts her steps

[readysteddiewoe]

Made With Love

Steddie TikTok au: Part 2

Read Part 1 << here

———

Steve_the_Hair posted 2 mins ago

—

The video starts with Eddie Munson sitting inside a grocery cart being pushed by Robin Buckley who waves at the camera enthusiastically.

“I’m back," he says, wiggling his eyebrows. "Since you guys loved me so much last time— ack!" A packet of pasta smacks the side of his head. Eddie glares at someone off camera.

“Cart’s for food only,”

“I’m a fucking snack, Harrington,”

—

Steve and Robin are engaged in an intense match of rock paper scissors in the dairy and frozen section. Robin wins.

“Best of three,” Steve insists, making Robin rolls her eyes.

“Sore loser,” Eddie comments from behind the camera. They ignore him.

Robin wins again. The camera goes back and forth between Steve sinking to his knees in despair and Robin taking a victory lap across the aisle. She grabs a huge tub of ice cream and shakes it at the camera happily before dropping it in the cart Eddie is still sitting in.

—

The camera is badly hidden behind a shelf, recording Steve as he picks out tomatoes a few feet ahead. Eddie narrates in a terrible posh accent.

"Here you can see a wild Harrington alone in its natural habitat—"

Steve swivels around and Eddie scrambles back behind the shelf, breathing heavily. “Do you think it saw us?”

“You know I can hear you right?”

—

It's after dark. The three of them are in a mostly empty parking lot. Robin and Steve facing away from the camera, Robin mimes lifting something about her head with both hands and Steve is nodding along.

Eddie is recording once again, far enough that the camera doesn't pick up their conversation. "One way to make Robin and Steve do absolutely anything you want, is to add 'I bet you can't' before any sentence,"

Robin is running towards Steve who braces himself for impact. He grabs her by the hips when she's near enough and for one glorious moment, Robin is soaring. Eddie whoops in excitement.

Then she's tipping over, limbs flailing. "Oh shit," Eddie runs over to them, the recording too shaky to make anything out. The video comes back into focus and they're both on the ground clutching their stomachs and cackling.

—

Steve finally has the camera and he props it up on the car's dashboard. They're parked in their driveway, Steve in the driver seat, Robin passed out with her head thrown back in the passenger seat and Eddie laid out across the backseat.

The video cuts to him slowly lifting Robin to bring her inside, careful not to wake her up. Robin latches onto him like they've done this a hundred times before.

Then Steve comes back for Eddie. "Munson, get up," From the gap between the two front seats, only Eddie's arms are visible as he makes grabby hands at Steve. He sighs heavily. Then Steve's grabbing his arms and tossing a giggling Eddie over his shoulder.

—

The camera is balanced on the dining table as Steve puts away their groceries. Once he's done, he drags up a chair and sits facing the camera.

"Sorry it wasn't anything helpful today," Steve's visibly tired but smiling. "I wasn't allowed custody of the camera,"

He finger waves at the camera. "Goodnight, guys,"

—

The caption says, pro tip: get better friends

—

Comments

Corroded Coffin: clearly Robin is the favorite child

Dustin H: petition to make Eddie the camera man for this account forever

user 80085: Steve is never beating the boyfriend allegations

———

Part 3

[ronearoundblindly]

omg not me freaking out that i am part of the group that gets bait gifs! FRIENDS!!!!!!! i'm fine. i'm chill. don't leave me!

This took me a minute to figure out what I wanted Sir Dorksalot to have done that was sketchy enough to have him make this face...

Watch The Fish, Jake Jensen x reader headcanon wholeass fic in bullet format because my god this got long

Warnings for mentions of masturbation and porn, accidental then totally intentional voyeurism, awkward and oblivious!Jake--so just Jake, yeah?--and smutty implications...

🥹 roommates to lovers 😊

you rent a pretty large house maybe even with one or two others at first, but they move out

jake has to use it as a crashpad sometimes because he'll be away for so long at a time, but he pays rent and the entire electrical & internet bill no matter what

you keep a fish tank in the living room

after jake comes back from months in hiding abroad away, he gets so excited to be home and spend time with his niece that he hosts an after-game pizza party for her soccer team

someone practices headbutting the ball inside and nearly topples the tank

jake catches the whole thing with his broad arm-span and a decent amount of strength just in time when it wobbles the whole table beneath it. his heart nearly stopped, and he's so grateful the glass didn't break. thank god you weren't home.

however, you insist on moving the fish to your room instead once he tells you.

jake's a little sad to see them go. he pouts so much you decide to take pity on him, buying a web cam to mount beside the tank so jake can watch them whenever he wants. he loves to do voices for each one, personalities, soap-opera-like dramatic storylines, the works

as an aside you ask him if the sound can be turned off on the camera. jake says yeah but he mostly means he can turn it to mute on his computer.

which he does, for the record, but he has to remember to do it each time he pulls up the feed of da fishies. honestly, half the time he's wearing headphones and the other half you aren't home while he puts the Marauders (because there's just one fat one) onto his third monitor for background.

so he forgets that the sound is on and a thing he might need to avoid

weeks later, maybe months, jake finally removes his headphones after a very long stint of coding, completely unaware of what time it is and that you are home in your room

at first, jake is dead convinced that some porn ad has popped up in a window behind his work, something he would go apeshit about and ransomware bomb the shit out of whoever wrote such slippery spam

the fish are peaceful as ever, blooping away whilst jake frantically closes program after program trying to find the hot chick moaning on his desktop...until it's all closed and the buzzing remains though his tower's fan stopped...then the squelching noise starts

jake is frozen in place, looking away from the fish like they're the damn problem, but he doesn't cut the feed

he...he shouldn't

he should turn it off or just mute it like he promised

and he tries

he tries really hard, gang

it's the cursor's fault that it hits the command to send the audio to his bluetooth headphones instead of mute

and he sets the headphones down on the keyboard, gnawing on his bottom lip and watching his closed bedroom door in anticipation of...getting caught, maybe? he's not sure

he watches the fish putter around like it's no big deal

which it isn't, right?

you're human. he's human. humans have urges. they touch themselves--they touch each other, too--and there's no harm in that. if anything...jake encourages it, or he would...if you knew that he knew about this

the noises are so faint from the itty bitty speakers two feet from his face, but he doesn't pick them up, still debating what to do

because there's a big difference between what jake should do in this situation and what he wants to do

he mutes audio and then cuts off the livestream

at least, that's what he did the first time it happened

he knows he's a perv. jake can't help it.

it becomes a game of sorts. it's like practice recon for learning a target's routine. not that jake needs practice at the job he already fucking has but that's how his brain justifies laying on his own bed in the glow of the fish tank feed with his headphones turned way up

he knows your bed is on the other side of your room from when he moved the fish tank in

he knows what your underwear look like from the laundry room downstairs

he knows what you smell like from the shared bathroom and the products lining your shelf

he now knows there's a bottle of toy cleaner in one of your sink drawers

and he shouldn't but he absolutely touches himself listening to you, fists himself when you're fucking a toy he imagines six-shapes-to-Sunday, teases himself when all you're doing is breathing softly from across the whole house and he's cold and covered in cum by the end

to be fair, jake hates himself because of all this, but he is now mildly addicted

he doesn't even exit out of the livestream anymore. it just stays up on his monitor like a screensaver, but he doesn't realize that once he takes his headphones out of range, the audio transfers to his speakers again

so jake goes on a mission for a few days, and at some point while you are cleaning up your room, playing music, you find two pairs of jake's socks in your load of clean laundry and go to toss them in his room...where the same music you're listening to way down the hall is playing...in sync...

you're horrified and then embarrassed and then quickly realized it might mean nothing

you have to test if it means something

jake returns from his mission on complete autopilot

just so damn tired

throws down his duffle on top of some socks he doesn't remember leaving out and just hits the shower for a long, long time

he hasn't talked to you yet

he hasn't even seen you except your car is home and your door is shut

he goes about his business

the volume on his speakers isn't high but he hears you speaking and assumes you're on the phone

he pays it no mind. he is glad to be home, glad you're fine since he's just been in a part of the world where most people are not safe.

in a weird sort of way, he feels he's earned the mundane sort of comfort that comes from "the same ol'" of this house

he's wiped out, so he crawls into bed with his headphones immediately, hair barely toweled dry, not bothering with boxers because...why make more laundry?

and then the worst thing happens

there's a man's voice coming through his headphones, and jake scowls in frustration and rage

did you go and get a fucking boyfriend? in a couple of days? or goddamnit is this some tinder shit in his home right now?

but it only gets worse

he can hardly contain himself, what with the gagging sounds and this dude telling you to take it like the whore you are, and JAKE WILL LITERALLY BURN THIS PLACE DOWN

now his ass is putting on clothes

now his ass is ready to riot

the sex gets more and more degrading; spanking noises and even choking, but not in a seemingly consensual way, which is when jake rips his headphones off, storms down the hall and barrels straight through your bedroom door

where...you...aren't

no one is. no you. no man.

just your laptop sitting on your desk near the fish tank, playing the money shot of a porn video he was just listening to

get the fuck out. get out. get out. his brain screams, and he bolts

he makes it three feet before stopping short

you're standing at the top of the stairs, a bowl of ice cream in hand, licking the spoon unbelievably slowly with your whole tongue

you're fucked. you're fucked. you're fucked. his brain adds helpfully.

"hey, jakey," you say with a smile. "whatcha doing?"

A/N: this cat is officially my reaction to pretty much everything because...well...it's very accurate.

[Main Masterlist; Jake Jensen Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

THERE'S A SEQUEL!

[gatorbites-imagines]

Can you please make more Remy LeBeau content? I love that little Cajun man so much! Please and Thank you!

Remy LeBeau x male reader

Headcanons

I’ve had this plot idea for a while, so im gonna try to shake it out my system. I know very little about Cajun culture, European here, so take it with a grain of salt. Sorry for the lack of posting, classes have already been beating me up and I literally just started.

You were your average Cajun kid when you met Remy, back when he still ran with the thief’s guild and before he was adopted by Jean-Luc.

You were a bit of a stereotype when it came to New Orleans Cajun kids. You liked to cause trouble, you liked to party, you liked to hunt frogs at night and spearfish Gar when there were no frogs. And damn did you like messing with the gators. All your messing around did make you lose your pinky on your right hand, but it didn’t stop you.

You were no mutant, but you might as well have been with all the stuff you got into. You always claimed it was just your Cajun roots that kept you immortal.

That was how you met Remy, through all your troublemaking. Youd just shoved one of your friends bullies into the swamp near your neighborhood, and immediately legged it, knowing his brothers would feed you to the gators if they got the chance.

That’s how you end up running right into Remy, sending you both skittering across the ground. Before he could say anything though, you just grad his wrist with your four fingered hand and drag him along, cackling as the bullies’ brothers try and catch you.

The two of you end up in a completely different neighborhood, hiding under somebodies porch as you try not to snicker as the older boys run right past, cursing up a storm about the “gator bait” getting away. And yes, that was what people called you in your neighborhood, because of your hand.

Remy had expected you to immediately fear him or become disgusted at the sight of his eyes. But instead, you just told him they were cool as fuck and you wished your eyes were like that.

After hiding for a while, the two of you split up to go about your lives. But you end up bumping into each other quite a lot, since you both just like to wander. That’s how you two end up becoming friends, even as hes part of the thieves guild.

You end up dragging him to your house too where he meets your mother. Your dad wasn’t around anymore, he drowned when you were a baby, but your mom said you had his fire and lack of self-preservation.

To Remys shock, your mom didn’t mind his eyes either, just accepting him in with a kind but tired smile. He later learns your mom works two or three jobs depending on the season to keep you guys fed, which is why you have so much time to run around.

You two keep growing up together, even if there at times is distance for different reasons. You keep causing trouble, but get better at hiding it, you become real good at figuring out the area, the waters, the people and animals, so on and so forth.

This helps you get your first job as a guide for tourists. You don’t really like it, but they tip you pretty well. You use that money to take Remy out for sno-balls, or rather, its you going in to get them, so you guys can eat them on your backyard porch.

You both gained a lot of scars over the years from the different lives you lived. Youd never asked Remy about the guild, and he never really asked too much about the different scars on your arms and legs he was sure came from a knife and not fishing wire.

It was also on that porch you guys shared your first kiss. It was clumsy, uncomfortable, your lips stained blue as his were green, from the thick sugary syrups used on the sno-balls. But it was still the best kiss either of you could have imagined.

You two never got to explore too deeply what your relationship meant. one week Remy was more distant than usual, before he suddenly showed up at your place, looking worse to wear, telling you he needed to get out of New Orleans.

You weren’t gonna question him, so you packed him into your truck and just started driving. The entire time he clung to your hand, looking at you so intensely, like hed never see you again. But you tried to keep the mood light, joking as usual and playing your favorite music.

The goodbye was one of the hardest things in your lives. You even told Remy you’d leave him with, ready to leave it all behind to stay by his side, wherever he would go. But Remy knew you had a life here, you had your mom, a good job, other friends, he couldn’t ask that of you.

So, in the end, Remy simply kissed you goodbye, and said he hoped you two would meet again. And disappeared into the night, like something out of a dream.

A couple of hours passed before you decided to drive back home. You smoked through an entire pack of cigarettes, so tempted to also empty the bottle of alcohol you hid under the seat in your truck. But you also knew you needed to return to your mom.

So with one final longing glance in the direction Remy disappeared, you turned back around and drove back home, New Orleans feeling less vibrant and lively than usual.

It would be years before you two meet again, and even then, it had been an accident.

You had left New Orleans behind after Remy left, your mom passed away,  and nothing really kept you there without either of them. It took a while before you finally settled down in New York. It wasn’t the same as where you grew up, but it was good enough for now. And if nothing worked, you could just go back to Louisiana and live in a small shed, where you’d spend your days catching fish.

What brought you together, was that your neighbors kid developed their mutation. Something they couldn’t hide, their eyes so different they couldn’t even use contacts as an excuse.

If their parents had been kind, hadn’t been so openly ex-mutant, you might not have done anything. But you’d heard rumors of Charles Xavier, and how his school helped Mutants like that.

So, you packed your neighbors kid into your truck, the same you’d driven Remy in, with what they needed to bring, and drove them there. Like the ride with Remy, you tried to keep the mood light, hoping to just keep it all from falling apart.

It took some time to get to the school, through whatever security they had, and to the front door. Part of you feared it was the wrong place, until the guy who’d spoken to you over the security comm stepped out. That visor made it pretty clear he wasn’t just your average joe.

Normally you’d have left it at that, leaving the kid with people who knew what they were talking about and doing. But they were too scared to be alone, and after some scowling from a guy that looked like a hairy homeless guy, you were allowed in.

Your thick accent seemed to gain some positive or funny reactions, that same hairy guy from before grumbling “another Cajun”. But you were mainly focused on getting the kid settled.

Of course, until you heard a familiar voice, laying his usual flirts on thick with somebody. Remy was still as handsome as when you last saw him, though a little older, but so were you. The kid was introduced to him, and the two already seemed to bond over their eyes being their main visual of their mutation.

“They reminded me of you, maybe that’s why I felt so protective” you just throw out there, hands in your pockets as you shrugged, your voice immediately catching Remy’s attention, who seemed as shocked to see you as you were him.

It was clear you two knew each other, and that emotional look in your eyes had the others shuffling off to keep showing the kid around, as you two were left alone.

You two go out back to sit on the porch of the mansion. It wasn’t the same as in New Orleans, but it still had your heart racing. It was awkward for a moment, you two sharing what you’d been up too since you last saw each other.

With you, Remy didn’t need to put on the plays like usual, he could just be Remy LeBeau and nobody else, and holding your hand with only four fingers in his own laid to rest some of the pain that had been present for years.

You two didn’t immediately start dating or anything. It was more returning to what was before, without all the stealing and trouble you two used to get into. At least, not to the same degree. But it built at a comfortable pace.

You became an honorary visitor of the mansion, since the kid you brought there still felt quite attached, but also for Remy. You were also able to worm your way into the hearts of the other x-men, some quicker than others, but you did it anyways.

Remy spent a lot of time at your place too, and he even helped you move when you moved just a bit closer to the x-men.

Neither of you could really tell when it went from deep pining to dating. One moment you guys just finally started kissing. The cuddling, sharing clothes and many other things that came with a relationship was something you already did, so the kissing was truly the last part missing.

You do end up having to learn better self-defense, being close to the x-men like that. But for Remy you’d do anything, even doing stretches that have your legs screaming since you aren’t used to bend like that.

[bountycancelled]

how bada would handle being in public with her s/o

requested: yep!

genre + content: headcanons, gn!reader, me being delusional, lower case intended (I'm annoying, I know and im sorry), unedited because I can't be bothered

warnings: none i believe, just fluff!

I still don't really understand the term, but I think I could describe a romantic relationship with bada as 'private but not a secret.'

she wouldn't want to keep you a secret, but she's also aware of the strife being in the public eye can cause, so how much/how little she reveals about the relationship is completely up to you.

and believe me, she tries so hard to keep her mouth shut about you, but sometimes it proves a bit too difficult.

hell, your relationship being revealed to the public was a complete and utter accident. bada was on instagram live as usual, and one of the comments had asked her for a tmi. she thought for a moment, before remembering that you had gifted her the very hoodie that she was wearing.

bada didn't even notice the comments going absolutely batshit at the mention of her having a partner, too focused on how much the hoodie smelled like you.

cue a now wide eyed bada watching a myriad of comments shocked at her statement fly in at lighting speed, as she slowly realises what she just said.

you bet your ass that she ended the live at that moment, entering to your shared apartment and flopping onto you immediately, squeezing any part of you that her hands could reach, she needed the comfort right now. when you ask her what happened, she begs you to promise to not get upset (which can't be promised but you do it anyway to ease her mind)

she realises a statement of sorts on her instagram, asking for the respect of her fans for your relationship and turns off her phone after posting it, cuddling with you and trying to sleep the day away.

from then on, you and bada start going out together more frequently, since you're no longer so well hidden anymore, you might as well enjoy this new found freedom. fans and paparazzi being outside of any location that bada is in is a given, but its still alot for you to take in.

bada always has a hand on you when you're out together, she just needs to know that you're close and that you're okay. whether it be a hand a hand on your waist or shoulders, a hand around your wrist or holding yours, it eases her. but she prefers you walking in front of her so she can have you in her vision also so she can check you out, two birds, one stone

call her a bit possessive (and you'd be correct) but she also likes when you wear something of hers over your outfit when you're in public, like a hoodie or a jacket.

as for interviews, she mentions you passively, usually by accident once again. but she will never take the bait if an interviewer tries to pry into the deeper parts of your relationship. she values intimacy with you far too much.

overall, your relationship is sacred to bada, and she earnestly tries to keep it under wraps as much as possible, although she may not be the best at that, since she also desperately wants to show you off. so basically, you get the best of both worlds.

[creamecafe]

━ Dating Tangerine Would Include....

SFW Headcanon

Pairing: Tangerine x GN!Reader (No pronouns used)

Warnings: none just fluff. Mentions of love making but nothing graphic. Skip ahead if your not comfortable 🩷

He's the definition of 'I hate everyone except you'

Acts so tough with everyone expect you

Lemon loves to tease him about it

Spoils you a lot

A lot of his gifts are jewelery or trinkets he steals when killing his targets

"Found this beautiful necklace on one of the targets, thought it would look better on you darling"

Spending a lot of time with Lemon, and Tangerine gets annoyed at this

But he can't be truly annoyed at you or even a little bit mad because he's completely head over heels for you

Would kill anyone if they dare to touch in an inappropriate way or threatened you

Teaches you how to use a gun

Is terrified for anything to happen to you or maybe one of his enemies might find you and use you for bait

But you assure him that you know how to protect yourself and he doesn't need to worry

He knows he can tie his own tie, but he love it when you do it for him. He loves your touch; helping him fix his hair, prep his mustache, fixing his collar, etc.

Won't let you pay for your stuff. It can literally be just a water bottle on a Japanese Bullet Train but he refuses to let you spend a quarter of your money

Has your name imprinted on his card and all his bank account on his phone

Showering together is just a must have for him

You help him clean his wounds when he gets seriously injured coming home

Knows how to do hair. Will braid your hair (if you have medium-long hair) or help trim up your hair to your liking (if you have a pixie cut or just short hair)

Loves to keep himself well groomed. He has a drawer of Japanese skincare products that keeps his face baby smooth. Trims his nails every three weeks (Just so he could please you 🤫)

Doesn't want to admit it but he loves doing face masks with you. Pretends to hate it but we all know he'd be into that

Would get matching nails with you (You with colored acrylic nails/colored nail polish with designs and him with nail polish with designs on them as well)

Is a OCD coded mess. This man wants everything tidy; his work, his home, his bedroom.

"Darling, you know I love you. But you make too much of a mess."

• Loves taking care of you after you guys are done making love. Puts your favorite bath bomb in, rose petals,

Thanks for reading! Don't forget to heart, reblog, share, comment on what you think, and follow for more work! You can also find me on Wattpad and my other socials in my bio. Feedback is always much appreciated!

Have a great day/night or wherever you live around the world!

𝐍𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐁𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐓𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐀𝐓𝐉 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐀𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐆𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 | 𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐈 𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐅𝐨𝐫 | 𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐩𝐚𝐝 | 𝐀𝐎𝟑

[omgwhatchloe]

some lil headcanons because im bored🐺

-if arthur or someone else brings back bad meat, sean gets toothache while eating the stew. he doesnt make it obvious on purpose, but the way his eyes brim with frustrated tears as he holds his cheek and throws his stew to the side makes it quite hard to hide.

-lenny has absolutely no awareness for other people when it comes to stretching. more than once he has stretched and accidentally half-punched someone in the face. he stretched his arms out near sean and the silly irishman thought he was putting his arm around him and fully leant in. lenny did not correct him.

-dutch is the only one in camp who likes those records. for everyone else theyre an absolute mood ruiner and they cannot be happy until theyre turned off. he, similarly, absolutely cannot stand sean’s jawharp.

-sean lost his front tooth as a kid, completely his fault. he got told multiple times to calm down by his da and stop running around, but sean being sean he didnt, ran straight headfirst into their table and knocked his tooth out. scream-cried, would not calm down, was yelled at but also held.

-if mary-beth doesnt like the ending of a book, she will just write her own ending. maybe add her own characters. she is yet to realise this is, in fact, fanfiction.

-molly comes up with the most stupid insults during a fight. once called dutch a soggy milk bottle. why? she doesnt know. no one knows.

-1907 jack could talk mega shit about anyone if someone let him.

-1899 jack loves insects. he loves to bring worms for bait for pearson, or snails to stick on john. sometimes he brings arthur butterflies to draw. he brought dutch, who was in a tent, a slug once and was confused on why he freaked out and demanded he “get it off the rug right now”

-hosea snores like crazy. makes bill and lenny (who have their bedrolls next to him) want to tear their own eardrums out. while the other members hate it, it doesnt stop them sitting upright immediately and panicking slightly when they hear him pause for too long

-lenny would love board games, but, inspired by another post i saw, would get extremely bossy and frustrated when people wouldn’t play right. takes it extremely seriously and is a sore loser to add onto it. cannot stand people who dont play right. playing half-heartedly? fuck off. your out. go away. go. quit halfway through due to the fact hes made it boring? get the hell out of his sight. he will NEVER forget this. cheating? fetch the guillotine. your beheaded.

-tilly is so blunt in showing shes not interested when someone flirts with her, and she knows it. she will literally stare them dead in the eyes and go “ew”, maybe with a facial expression to match.

-kieran used to have a lisp.

[beneathashadytree]

what are your favourite unhinged headcannons for the lads/lnds LIs please?🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽 like something that based on how they act in canon preferably but even if it's way left field, just something funny about them

I personally headcanon Zayne as autistic (my radar is going OFF) so I’m 100% projecting when I say that he’s definitely offended MANY superiors at university with his manner of speaking. This makes him feel absolutely HUMILIATED when he gets told off/reminded that not every takes his straightforwardness as a good thing. It’s why sometimes he often hesitates & rethinks his words with the MC; the Neurodivergent Struggle™️

Ever since he and MC started dating, he’s definitely caught himself looking in the mirror more than he ever did before. Not out of vanity, but merely checking in on his appearance every now and then. He’s more conscious of how he looks (in a good way!!) compared to how he previously viewed his body as simply a vessel before. Goes completely red when caught by them, and plays it off as checking for new scars (hint: there aren’t any this time).

Rafayel has a habit of making biting remarks as he gets all shy and defensive, but sometimes he doesn’t hear the double entendres behind his words until the MC smirks at him. Sometimes it’s purely coincidental and he goes beet red, other times he’s lowkey handing them bait to tease him. Maybe a small part of him likes it when he hears them say such scandalous things and joke around…

Delicate as his hands are, he’s got a pretty extensive knife collection. Super fancy too, like the stuff you’ll find at those oddly specific stores downtown where the single set of 6 pieces costs your left kidney and a leg. When he’s run out of inspiration, he sharpens them and takes VERY good care of them. This type of attention is also given to his beloved daggers and weapons of choice. Shiny = pretty is a very recurrent theme with him.

Xavier had gone through a phase where he was trying his best to adjust to life amongst humans, and that was when he was introduced to the wonders of pop culture and the entertainment world. So if he happens to hum along to insanely obscure songs that were popular a decades ago and somehow has every song by said artist memorized, don’t question it. He’s a multi-stan.

Being such a sleepy guy who’s barely conscious, Xavier has definitely skipped MANY relationship milestones with the MC by accidentally letting important words slip during phone calls. Whenever they call him and he’s just woken up, he just word-vomits/half-mumbles his way through his sappiest thoughts that come to him so easily (examples: “I love you so much” “Can’t wait till you marry me” and “Let’s buy a big house for our future family”)

This actually turned out to be more detailed than I thought it would be, sorry for rambling nonnie. This is practically a piece of writing on its own 😭😭

[cryptomiracle]

more creepypasta headcanons

(+ marble hornets)

WARNINGS:

Ooc? Idk

I started this at 2 am and you can tell

Cursing

I write on my phone so the format may be a little weird

Any brands, games, or characters mentioned in this do NOT belong to me, nor am I sponsored by them in any way.

This is very unserious, I've noticed that a lot of my other hcs usually take a "dark" turn and so I decided to make some that didn't.

You could even say they're a bit... silly.

You should totally check out my masterlist for more hcs (it's pinned)

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Characters: masky, hoodie, ticci toby, jeff the killer, and BEN DROWNED.

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Jeff:

he's extremely hard headed, he WILL argue/fight with someone over the dumbest things and he'll never stop arguing, even if he knows the other person is right.

He has an "emo accent"

He likes to start drama between people, and then leave the crime scene.

He is so ashy you could strike a match off of his elbow

He's been wearing the same beat up converse since 2012, them things are being held together by duct tape and a prayer.

His favorite animal is a raccoon, he says they're sneaky and nocturnal like him.

He refuses to get a new phone, he won't even steal one.

He curses all the time just cause he can, sometimes he'll even jumble random curse words together.

BEN:

He listens to vocaloid and he doesn't play about miku

He runs one of those "rage bait" accounts that are painfully obviously bait

Still quotes old memes and refuses to let them die

Example: yeet, t-posing, and "sanic the hedgehog"

He scams old people on Facebook and e-daters, he doesn't feel bad about it either.

He uses the money he gets from scamming to buy v-bucks and overwatch coins

He once doxxed someone for dissing miku

slender had to take away his mic privileges because he was keeping everyone up at night by yelling bloody murder at people on fortnite/overwatch

once showed up at someones house because they emoted on him after killing him in game

Toby:

He vapes, and thinks he's so cool cause he can do "vape tricks" and he makes people watch him while he does them

Someone once gave him apple cider, told him it was alcohol, and he pretended to be drunk.

His phone gallery is filled with random photos, like there'll be a low quality picture of a tree and then right beside it a picture of a ceiling. Just random stuff

Mint chocolate chip ice cream enjoyer

He's really flexible, although he has bad posture he can do back bends, the splits, etc

more on his terrible posture; when he sits he literally looks like this: ) )

When he first started working for slenderman, he REFUSED to live in the manor and lived outside. While he lived outside he became friends with a lot of the wildlife, slender eventually made him move into the manor because there was a rumor that toby was going to make a "possum army" and try to overthrow slender

He will fight anyone and anything he really doesn't care about his, or their well-being.

Had a "weeb" phase when he was in middle school and he still has nightmares about "naruto running" away from his bullies.

Hoodie:

He can make a killer sandwich (lol) he's not the best at cooking other things, but if you get him to make you a sandwich, he'll bless your taste buds.

He loves karaoke, he can't sing for shit but he still does it anyway

He acts like a millennial (I'm sorry) not to the point where it's completely unbearable, but he will send people "relatable memes" every now and then

He enjoys online arguments, he'll never participate but he will scroll through different threads of people arguing for hours on end

He likes for people to say stuff like "GO WHITE BOY GO" to him

He blushes when he lies, he's a scarily good liar but if you ever want to catch him in a lie, point out the fact that his cheeks are red.

Whenever he has a drink with a straw, he holds the straw in-between his tooth gap.

he sends streaks.

Masky:

He has a NASTYYY side eye, and sometimes he'll scrunch up his nose while side eyeing someone just to make it sting even more

Contemplated getting a mullet once, he never went through with it though.

He coughs like someone's grandfather who smoked three packs of cigarettes a day for 40 years

If someone says a word that reminds him lf a song he likes, it'll automatically get stuck in his head and he'll hum it all day after that.

he isn't weak when it comes to stinky smells, but if it's stinky enough to make him gag he's extremely overdramatic.

he learned how to sew because of how much he ripped his jeans, shirts, etc.

Sleeps so hard sometimes people think he's dead, he'll just be laying there looking casket ready but everyone is too scared to check on him cause he gets super grumpy when woken up.

he always keeps a little money hidden somewhere, even if it's just a 5 dollar bill.

he's superstitious, if he sees you attempt to walk under a ladder he will physically drag you back and make you walk around it.

he has a pair of brass knuckles which he only saves for "special occasions" they're his favorite things ever, he even named them.

he only uses his phone to call, text, or search something up, and that's it.

he doesn't even have YouTube installed.

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I will be reading over this to check for any errors, ty for reading - M

[aturnoftheearth]

like the idea of a supernatural revival or whatever because any of the following outcomes would be a win, either to further my bitterness or bring me peace:

a. likely: they cut cas out completely, forever cementing him as the worst treated character of team free will (don’t bother with any more polls), and this inevitably leads to some funny tweets/posts about how jensen ackles didn’t want to leave cas out !!!! he actually wanted them to gay kiss on tv !!! but Big CW shut him down again >:( even if they’re not on the CW anymore. hashtag they silenced him.

or

b. more likely: they bring cas back but don’t mention destiel at all. misha collins says for $500 USD he’ll get on cameo and give his own headcanon. fans of him fund it in 20 minutes. it’s 37 seconds long and awful and shallow and he says “dean tells cass to ‘get out of his ass’ again” while winking very explicitly and end recording. insert scenario a for the jackles thing here.

or

c. most likely: cas back, love confession addressed. cas is like “dean i assure you that, above all, i value our friendship.” dean politely says “hey man, you’re my best buddy, and i really appreciate you. you know that, right? alright good talk.” and claps his shoulder on his way out of the frame, leaving cas with the sad yet contemplative look. okay that’s all no more addressing anything UNLESS it’s a multi-episode thing, in which case they include some sort of bait. a potentially longing look-back from dean, a disappointed? resigned? look from him after walking away, etc.

and bonus least-likely but best possible scenario:

d. destiel canon. old mutuals return. content creation  renaissance. this website becomes inhabitable. another 3 years of lovesickness on ye.

[artful-aries]

Can I please have possessive/jealousy headcanons for scaramoche dottore zhongli Childe and pantalone? Thank you in advance 🤗

I am not dead everyone!!! Mother’s Day and TOTK releasing this weekend have me hella preoccupied. Anyway, I’ve actually already done this for Zhongli and Childe, but I did the other three!!

Content Warnings: Dottore’s section is pretty manipulative and unhealthy, this is your warning.

When They Are Jealous (Dottore, Scaramouche, Pantalone)

Dottore:

This man is very possessive at all times, even when he’s in a good mood. He doesn’t get jealous, that would require him to think he might not measure up to others, but he definitely does not take kindly to others thinking they can have access to you

Would not hesitate to cut someone’s eyes out if they stared at you for too long, and likely would find some use for them in his various experiments

Dottore sees you as an extension of himself, or more accurately, one of his possessions. He is far too prideful to let any mediocre being come close to thinking they could even speak to you without him allowing it

This results in your borderline isolation from anyone who isn’t Dottore (with a few exceptions, such as the Harbingers). You tell him that you feel lonely? Too bad. He’s not going to budge on this. You’re his, and not just anyone can speak to you or lay eyes on you

It doesn’t take much to make the Doctor jealous; simply disrespect his wishes and talk to a random Fatui agent, or even just a Snezhnayan merchant, and you’ll have him scowling underneath his mask as he watches you. He knows exactly what you’re doing, and doesn’t like it one bit

What he does entirely depends on his mood; He will either lay a chilling hand on your shoulder and ask you to speak to him privately, or if he is in a foul mood, he likely wouldn’t hesitate to maim or kill the other person on the spot.

Don’t think you’ve escaped punishment either, you’re just as much of a guilty party in this as they were. Dottore isn’t going to kill you or disfigure you, no, he is going to opt for a more psychological punishment for you

Nothing makes people more desperate and malleable than a lack of affection, so he will actively withhold any affection until you’re begging for forgiveness and for him to give you an ounce of attention

Is it manipulative? Absolutely, but Dottore doesn’t care. This gets him the results he wants and enables him to observe how you behave under emotional and psychological stress. He likes to see just how long you can last before you’re caving to him

Should you go out of your way to make him jealous by being too friendly with another Harbinger, you’ll have him seething, but this just makes things worse for you since he can’t take out his frustration on the other Harbingers though he does briefly consider baiting Childe into a fight once he sees you hanging off of the man’s arm

Dottore would scoop you up immediately without a word, carrying you into his lab where he plans to have a very stern “talk” with you about not throwing yourself at the nearest person when you want attention from him

There are very rare occasions where he will “let” you do as you please, flirting and getting touchy with anyone and everyone just to make him jealous, but he uses this as an opportunity to study you and your actions. While the behavior irks him, there is valuable data to be collected in allowing it to happen. Once his data collection is complete, he’s ready to punish you for trying to provoke him despite the benefit he received out of your antics

Scaramouche:

Another one to easily get jealous, he will turn into the biggest brat alive over the simplest things. You could greet someone cheerfully because you’re in a good mood and he will immediately have a snide remark to say about it

Whether you intentionally made him jealous or not, it doesn’t matter. He’s going to have an attitude with you no matter what

Scaramouche just doesn’t have it in him to be upfront about the fact that he’s upset, or communicate why he is upset. You’ll have to deal with him being cold and distant aside from his rude comments until he eventually gets over it himself or you piece together what his problem is

When you do confront him, he will adamantly deny that he was ever jealous, “What am I, your keeper? Do what you want.”

Yet it’s very clear by the permanent scowl on his face that Scaramouche doesn’t want you to do what you want. He’d never admit it, but he wants your focus on him and only him, he wants your unwavering devotion. It makes him feel like his existence is validated

The most you’d be able to pull out of him is what made him cranky in the first place, but his admittance is indignant and dismissive. Part of him just wants to stay mad because deep down he feels like this is just you getting ready to betray him. He’s been burned too many times and has a lot of trust issues

When you reassure him that your earlier actions held no underlying meaning and that you aren’t going to abandon him, Scaramouche’s expression will not change; however, there will be a slight release of tension in his shoulders. He’s not completely relieved, but it’s enough to get him to stop being entirely unpleasant

For a little while after his initial withdrawal, he’s going to stick uncharacteristically close to you, almost as though he is making sure that you’re true to your word

Again, he would never admit this, but in reality Scaramouche just wants to be in your comforting presence for a while

If you were to ask him why he’s hanging around so much all of the sudden, he will lie through his teeth and just say he was bored or just happened to have extra time on his hands. Even if you tease him about it, he will never admit just how much he enjoys your presence

He also makes sure to cut off and interrupt anyone that tries talking to you when he’s with you. They’re cutting into his time with you, and he won’t hesitate to be rude as hell in order to get them to go away

Pantalone:

He is a difficult man to make jealous; he is incredibly confident in himself, to the point that he doesn’t view most people as competition

If he were to get jealous, it would likely be you giving attention to the other Harbingers, especially a Vision bearer

Pantalone would freeze for a moment at the scene, his eyes narrowing as he takes in how you interact with them. The sight alone made his stomach churn a little bit. He doesn’t think he is beneath them, but he can’t help but wonder if there’s a part of you that prefers the power that Visions bring, something that he can’t buy with his wealth

He will saunter up to you and place a hand on your shoulder; not threateningly, but just to remind you of his presence as he works his way into the conversation. Though he doesn’t have much patience and finds a way to politely end it soon after joining. He’s got a lot that he wants to say to you in private, gently pulling you away

Once you’re alone, he smiled sweetly at you, but there’s an edge to it as he asks you why you were paying so much attention to another person rather than him

He’s not outright threatening you, and he doesn’t intend to hurt you physically because of his own jealousy, but his tone indicates that you need to choose your words carefully

If you explain yourself and say that you were just being friendly, Pantalone will happily drop the subject, wrapping an arm around you as the two of you walk together. He knew he was good enough for you, but liked the reassurance that you weren’t seeking more than he could provide

If you were to admit that you were actively trying to make him jealous, then he would give a small chuckle at your response. You wanted to make him jealous? Well, mission accomplished, but now were you prepared to deal with the consequences?

He’ll pull you to his office, not explaining himself as he locks the door. He intends to remind you of just how much he has to offer, and how you won’t be happy with anyone else, even if they were blessed by the gods

Pantalone is possessive by nature, wanting anything and everything his heart desires, you included. He’s spent too long working for his wealth to fall short with you

[doxypsychlean]

Aegon II Targaryen x reader who is manipulative and uses the motherly love he never got to get her own way. They both love each other but in a toxic yandere kinda way 😂

Wrapped around your finger

Yandere!Aegon ii Targaryen x Yandere!Reader

Headcanons|

Warnings: none? pls tell me if I've missed sth

Thou shan't repost/copy/ translate any of my work or I'll sneak into your home late at night and bite your nose off!

English isn't my first language. I don't proofread. I slap commas wherever I feel they're needed.

A/N: Aegon and Halaena aren't together in this one. It's also pretty sweet, despite their ?yandere? tendencies.

Oh, he really thinks he's that good.

Then you come around.

You, a lady of noble descent and a member of one of the greater houses in Westeros, are also one of his greatest rivals when it comes to having the worst reputation in all the realms.

At first, it's just harmless fun. Nothing too serious.

But then you become a witness to the way his family treats him.

You work your way into his heart and head. I mean, who in their right mind would miss out on the opportunity of being Queen of Westeros one day, amirite?

He bites the bait pretty quickly.

Aegon is obsessed with the way you shower him with affection and love.

He'd be spending most of his time in your arms, begging for you to tell him how much you love, how unfair his mother is to him.

Alicent hates you at first.

The hatred turns to admiration with time, seeing as you gain complete control over her son and mold him to your liking.

But there's more to what she's feeling towards you- fear. With the way things are going, all it would take is for you to snap your fingers and Aegon would kill them all. For you.

You never do, thank the Gods, and for that you have the Queen's utmost respect and gratitude.

She never lays a hand on him again. She doesn't have to, but she's also too scared to do it.

He still drinks, maybe not as much as he did before, but he no longer chases after the servant girls. As if you'd even allow it to happen.

The first time you realize what you feel for him might be actual love, is when you order for some noble lady to be "displaced" from the Red Keep. You didn't like the way she stared at him. Cue, girly losing her eyes for that one.

He was yours and the only way to get him away would be to pull him out of your cold fingers. And you had no intention of dying any time soon.

Aegon rarely goes out of the Red Keep anymore and when he does, you're always with him. The Prince has glued himself to you, whether you like it or not.

On the rare occasions of you two not being present in the castle, golden scales could be seen shimmering high above King's Landing. Sunfyre loves you, the golden beast could feel the strong bond between his rider and you.

Expect lots of expensive gifts- lavish dresses, the rarest perfumes from Essos, jewelry, books, horses, ginormous bouquets of your favorite flowers, commissioned portraits of you two, gold, sweets, etc.

You want it? You'll have it. Simple as that.

He'd never thought of himself as a jealous man, but the second he sees his brother talking to you and you laughing... All Seven Hells break loose.

Aegon turns into a sniveling, whining mess, hands wrapping around you as if his life depends on it.

All the while shooting daggers at Aemond behind your back, daring him to come closer so he could claw his remaining eye out.

Few soft words from you and he's melting.

You love him. He loves you. Everything is more than fine. He completely forgets about Aemond, who's slowly backing away from you two.

You get married not long after. Neither one of your families is brave enough to say a word against the union, seeing as ...

You absolutely never tried to hide it from the public.

You're all over eachother for the most of it.

Both men and women are dropping like flies around you, if they just as much as stared at either of you for a second too long.

Both yours and his family are equally scared and would rather keep away, than try and separate you.

Word spreads around quickly. You're with child.

Aegon's over the moon. You're his. He's yours. Completely.

The prove pops out not long after. Then another. And another.

He would 100% elbow the midwife in the face if she tries to keep him away from you while you're giving birth.

"My Prince, you cannot..."

"Out of my way, you old hag, my wife is in there!"

He was there while you were making them, he has every right to be there while you squeeze them out.

Definitely cries his ass off when he holds your firstborn.

His tunic is discarded quickly as he holds the small bundle close to his bare chest.

Then he wraps one hand around you, almost crushing your neck with how strong he's squeezing you.

Same thing goes down every single time- he storms in, kid comes out, he's bawling his eyes out at the sight.

You pick the dragon eggs for each and every one of them together.

Aegon's just as obsessed with your children, as he is with you.

Gods forbid someone makes one of his little bundles of joy cry...Heads will be flying in all directions, no matter who they belong to.

Not even the Stranger would be able to pull you apart.

Even in death, you'd find a way to be back together.

[gaybananabread]

Can you do Stan, Ford, and Bill (gravity falls) headcanons? If not that’s completely fine! Take your time!!

☆⑅Felony Trio Headcanons⑅⁠☆

(Stan, Ford & Bill)

~No idea if these three have an actual group name or not, but this is what I'm going with. You can't tell me they haven't committed at least one a piece, accidentally and/or on purpose. These sillies will always have a special place in my heart as one of my earlier obsessions. Thank you for requesting!~

❓Stanley💵

General:

Silly con-man gives me ler-leaning switch vibes. Loves wrecking his family, but wouldn’t mind the occasional giggle-fest.

Over the years, he’s developed the elusive “can say the t-word whenever” power, though it definitely didn’t used to be that way. Ford reminds him of that whenever it’s most annoying.

Can easily admit that he likes tickling others, but receiving it? Yeah, good luck. He’s willing to die on that hill.

Lee:

A bit rare, but he will get lee moods. He’s a “ride it out in silence” kinda guy, but Ford can sometimes catch onto his bullshit (definitely not bc he does it too what-)

If he DOES try and solve his problem, it’ll be in the most roundabout way possible. Provoking his brother, teasing his great niece and nephew until they try something, you name it. If it works, it works.

Worst spots are his armpits and the area right beneath his belly button. Enjoy watching him lose his mind if you target either one ♡

Melt spot is his ears. You can’t tell me his goofy ears wouldn’t make him giggle his heart out; he’d love every second of it.

Very gruff, choppy giggles. Sounds kinda like he’s been chain smoking, then saw the funniest thing in his life. When you really get him going, deep and rough belly laughter. Occasional snorts if you wanna kill him.

Ler:

When he gets in a ler mood, he’ll either bother his overworking brother or mess with one of the kids. Sometimes his family can tell, though he won’t normally admit anything.

Such a wonderful asshole of a ler-

Teases, smart-ass comments, horrible dad jokes, and more! Definitely the one to go to if you want a shameless wrecking.

“You’re a lil’ squeak toy, huh? I just squeeze your side and- yup, just like that.”

“Ya know, you could’ve just pushed me away by now. Don’t worry, I noticed.”

“You sure squirm a lot, don'tcha? Like a lil’ worm, could use you as fishing bait!”

“It tickles? Wow, that must really suck for you.”

Pretty good with aftercare. He'll ruffle your hair and tease you, of course, but he lets you lay on him while the TV plays. Fair trade, honestly.

👓Stanford🖋️

General:

Can you really tell me he isn't at least a little lee? After all those years with little to no comforting contact, he loves a good giggle fest.

Making his great niece and nephew laugh, though? Even better.

He doesn't always get that feeling, so I'm going lee-leaning switch.

Lee:

If you even mention it around him, he'll blush, no matter his mood. It's real bad when he's lee.

You can kinda gauge if he's in a mood by just saying the t-word (if you can, that is)

If you don't have that magic, then he's still pretty obvious in other ways.

Extra stuttering, constantly adjusting his glasses, eyes lingering on your hands, wobbly smiles. If you've got eyes, you'll be able to tell.

Will deny it at first, but it's pretty flimsy.

“I-I don't know what you're talking about. I survived the roughest interdimensional plane there is. I don't need…that.”

He falls apart the minute you wiggle your fingers at him.

Worst spots are his hips, followed by his ribs. A few squeezes to either will have him snorting up a storm.

Melt spots are his ears and the tops of his thighs. Like his brother, his ears are lovely to run a feather across for both him and the ler. He loves gentle traces on his thighs, though. Have him a melted, giggling puddle in seconds.

He loses tickle fights on purpose at least 76.4% of the time. Don’t ask me how I got that number: I just know.

Ler:

His ler moods are rare, but if he’s feeling a bit distant from his family, he’ll try and piece things with some giggles.

Soft, playful ler. He never wants to go too far, but he isn’t afraid to goof around and tease while he’s at it.

“I think I’ve got a leg up here, huh? Thanks to my extra fingers, this has gotta be at least 20% more ticklish~”

“You really do blush quite a lot. It’s pretty cute to watch.”

“As a scientist, it’s my job to conduct experiments. Let’s try now. Hypothesis: if I get your worst spot, you’ll laugh at least twice as loud as you are now. Time for the experiment~”

The moment you say stop, even if you don’t mean it, he pulls away. If you want more, you’ll have to ask him.

Pretty great with aftercare. Will absolutely cuddle you, maybe even tell some stories if you’re interested. He’s got plenty from his time in the portal, though he keeps the angstier ones to himself. Any tale he tells is almost guaranteed to make you smile.

🎩Bill💛

General:

Believe it or not, the chaotic dorito does like tickling. In fact, after him and Mabel’s interaction, they seem to randomly plague his thoughts at the most inopportune times. It goes in either direction, his moods as random as his personality.

Considering this, we’re gonna go straight-up switch.

Lee:

These moods are especially hard for the demon to satiate. His friends are insane, but none completely batshit enough to try something like tickling him. When he needs a fix, he usually has to outsource it or suffer until it goes away.

On the off chance he does outsource, he goes for one of the Pines twins. They’re hesitant to let him in, but he’s a sweet-talker. Once he’s inside, it barely takes an hour for him to provoke someone into wrecking him.

His spots vary based on the body he’s inhabiting. The one time he was tickled in his own (Weirdmageddon incident, don’t ask), he found that his hat and feet got him laughing the most.

(don’t come at me, his hat re-grew flesh when he got shot in it)

He doesn’t really have a distinct melt spot, though he loves being tickled right beneath his bowtie. It makes him kick and squirm, but it also makes him incredibly giddy.

Ler:

I’d tell you to run for your life, but it won’t do you much good.

Evil, sarcastic and rough ler. Good luck breathing o7

The kinda dude to go for all your worst spots first, and only explore the softer side if he’s wanting to spice things up.

Can and will generate any tool he feels like to wreck you (surprisingly enough, he’ll ask first)

Boundaries really need to be set before anything happens. Otherwise he’ll just go until he feels like stopping. If you look on the brink of passing out, he’ll quit, but other than that nah.

VERY teasy, with a large handful of sarcasm and sass.

“Geez, you laugh really loud when I get ya here. Mind dialing it down? I don’t wanna go deaf before I’m 20 million.”

“Ha! You snort? I’ve gotta hear that again, c’mon!”

“You’re confusing. You say ‘no, go away,’ but you haven’t even tried escaping. I’m supposed to be the crazy one here; mind explaining?”

“Wow, this is driving you nuts, huh? We’re gonna match!”

Not super great at aftercare unless you ask. He can make any snack or drink you want by snapping, and he knows some great rom-coms to doze off to (don’t ask why unless you wanna go for round two).

[stellar-collective]

my take on the Agent themselves because these games have given me brainrot

headcanons below the cut!

-perpetually has their legs kicked up on any and every surface. in the office, on their missions, in the van; as long as they’re not actively problem solving, their shoes are on the table. 

-terribly invested in the Handler. literally drove into a flamethrower to get him the perfect hot dog. 

-doesn’t set things on fire half as much as one would expect. mostly just lights cigars, honestly. prefers chucking stuff

-along with their TK implant, they volunteered for an experimental treatment that was supposed to make agents immune to ingestible poison. it was only partially effective but it worked enough that they can down entire bottles of champagne, eat moldly sandwiches, chew pre-chewed gum, etc. without batting an eye

-MAJOR sweet tooth.

-fairly talkative outside of missions, but goes completely dead silent the moment that they’re in the field. can’t be baited into betraying information if you don’t talk!

-cheeky as anything. favorite pastime is to deal with deadly situations as nonchalantly as possible, like drinking tea while getting shot at by a tank, stealing Juniper’s masks while he’s trying to shoot them, and saluting while blowing up space stations.

-doesn’t hold grudges. like, at all

-when you die enough times, you sort of start to rank the methods. their favorite way to go out is fire/explosions and their least favorite way is suffocation. falling from space was far scarier to them than falling down a burning elevator shaft. the heat is familiar to the point it’s almost comforting.

-they’re beauty, they’re grace, they’re super mega ace

-a bit of a hoarder. trinkets and souvenirs are very valuable to them. keeps everything that the Handler has ever sent them and steals a lot of things from their missions

-adrenaline junkie! this job is perfect for them

[hopelessdazai]

Chuuya nsfw headcanons? Please <3

OF COURSE!! this man has such a chokehold on me 😩

Chuuya nsfw headcanons

contents ; nsfw, fem implied reader, pegging, hair pulling, oral (f!recieving)

chuuya adores to switch between degrading you, and praising you. something about you being his princess and also his little cum toy just gets him going absolutely feral.

he has a thing for when you pull his hair. he discovered it completely by accident during one of your sessions, but now he does everything he can to get you to tug on it again. whether that be eating you out until you can barely breathe, or teasing you just enough for you to pull him to where you want.

he holds you so tight. he prefers you to be as close to him as he can physically manage you to be whenever he's fucking you, he doesn't mind leaving small marks on your hips with how he gripped you either.

so so many markings. if there's one thing about chuuya, he wants other people to know that you're his. and if leaving hickeys and bitemarks on your neck works for that? then he'll happily leave hundreds.

will he tie you up? yes he will. chuuyas a mafia member, he has ropes in his apartment and he for sure probably has some handcuffs somewhere. consider yourself his bait.

I'd say his dicksize is around 6.3 inches. his height had to go somewhere. and that happened to be down there.

hes not usually that much into the idea of pegging, but he'll grow on it the more he dips his feet into the waters. it embarrasses him to say his girls domming him, so keep it a secret for him <3.

he likes any position! he doesn't have a favorite but he prefers any where he can see your face contort with pleasure. he knows he's doing a good job.

CEO OF PUSSYEATING. chuuya is a MASTER of oral and he's for sure glad to use the skills he's gained on you, he can even go for hours if you loved it so bad.

Scenario ;

you whine loudly as you feel his tongue circle your clit again. how many times had you reached your peak again? too many. he'd instructed you to count, and god you just hoped he didn't ask for a recap.

he grunts into your cunt, he always ate you out like it was his last meal on earth, his tongue dipping inside of you and tracing zigzags back up your folds. you clutch onto the bedsheets, trying to stabilise yourself. he chuckles.

"Oh, doll. you look delicious, hm? and you taste it the same~"

his voice sends vibrations through and you swear you see white as you reach your peak once more. he hungrily laps everything up as usual.

"how did I get so lucky with you, ah? tell me, princess. how many orgasms does this count to then, hmm?"

I hope this satisfies you!! - zai

[sentientfunfetti]

dollhouse wally/reader headcanons !

(dollhouse wally is made by @/itskorrychang on twitter + instagram. i’m unsure if they have a tumblr. go support them!)

REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED !

CW// YANDERE/POSSESSIVE THEMES !!!

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i’m pretty sure this is canon but when i first saw it i had to expand on it more. he would call you things like: pretty thing, beautiful/beauty, gorgeous. nice words like that. he wouldn’t use ‘vulgar’ words like ‘hot or sexy’ to describe you. too unimaginative.

loves the feeling of your skin on his. you’re so warm and soft against him and he loves it. doesn’t even mind if you have body hair, even if that would be a bit weird to other people. it just adds onto you and he would find it immature if someone else complained. touch starved as well. being alone for so long does that to people. he just loves physical contact with you in general.

would definitely do things the old fashioned way. he would mail you a love letter and hope you get it with baited breath. if you say yes then expect him to stumble over his words all while trying to keep his composure. if you ask him who delivered it to your mail box, he would say eddie.

he would brag to barnaby about you. since he believes that the dolls hes made of his dear neighbors are real and listening he would sit barnaby down while you’re away and brag to him about you. sometimes barnaby responds. maybe one day he’d allow you and him to meet?

definitely possessive. doesn’t like to see his pretty thing wander far from him. even of he has to keep you in the dollhouse himself, he’ll do it if he needs to. he’d hate to see you get hurt, and the world is harsh and cruel out there. it would be best for you to stay with him…completely…forever. where you’re safe.

sometimes spends moments of you two spending time together just…staring at you. he loves the way you look. your hair, your eyes, the way your face crinkles up when you smile. it all makes him lightheaded and fuzzy. if he made a doll of you he would show you with pride and point out all the fine details that he captured of you, even the ones you haven’t noticed.

doesn’t like it when you see his ‘cracks’ or flaws. he would like to appear to you as flawless as fresh porcelain, but unfortunately sometimes you make him just a tad too emotional and he starts to show his true colors. he just hopes you don’t hate him or think bad of him. you’re the first visitor he’s had since the others abandoned him…he really would love for you two to be together for as long as possible.

makes you small gifts all the time. really is an arts and crafts kind of guy. he loves seeing your face light up when he gives you dolls or other things he’s made by hand. he also does embroidery and makes doilies. tends to do it when you’re away to pass the time until you come back. he would try and teach you how to do it too.

on the flip side, if you gave him a gift— well he’d just melt. he wouldn’t know what to do. even the smallest gift would send him into a flurry of “oh neighbors” and “i love you”s. he would tear up a bit and immediately put it somewhere where he can see it anytime he wants to. it would be precious to him, no matter how well made.

isolation breed abandonment issues. he wouldn’t like you leaving his side that much, and if you do he would wait patiently until you get back. he isn’t the kind of guy to set a curfew, as you’re your own person and an adult but he would definitely expect you to be back before nightfall at least.

would allow you to call him ‘dolly’, simply because it amuses him.

doesn’t sleep that well and has trouble sleeping, he usually spends that time alone but when you’re around he likes to watch you sleep. he stands over you with his arms folded behind his back, or sits on your bed and watches over you as you snooze along. he’d brush your hair out of your face, or whisper to you as you sleep. things he would probably never say to you if you were awake. he’d also take that time to study your face more closely for his doll of you. more time to look at you the better. you look so peaceful and it brings his heart joy to know you’re here with him, and safe. if you’d allow him, he would love to cuddle you while you sleep and would do the same either way.

author’s note ⊹˚. ♡

these were just silly little ideas i brewed up! i’ve been having real bad brainrot of dollhouse ever since i saw him and i haven’t really seen that much content of him around and that’s a shame because his design is absolutely incredible.

i’d also like to take this time to mention that my requests are open! as long as you follow my guidelines, we should get along just fine. i can’t guarantee i will get to every one but i can try! hope to see you soon, neighbor.