#This is better than being suspicious
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theknightandhersteed · 3 months ago
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Am I cruel?
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technically-human · 2 months ago
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I don't know the rules for art requests so I'm hoping if I do this wrong you'll just ignore this message. I really, really like your Dead Boy Detectives art and I've been following it since the first comic with the soul orbs. I also like your different AUs and crossovers.
Could you write/draw a comic where Doom Patrol Charles meets Reverse Verse Charles? I think that could be interesting because those are the two versions of Charles who admit they're in love with Edwin, but also those two are on opposite ends of the emotional stability scale. That's probably not a good word for it-- what I mean is that DP-Charles seems comfortable with himself while RV-Charles thinks he's an absolutely terrible person, and RV-Charles is kind of manipulative at times while DP-Charles seems to be aware of others' feelings and gives them space.
Also, I think RV-Edwin and DP-Edwin might enjoy sassing each other too much.
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No rules, just a lot of patience! Reading your comments always makes me happy, so I made this little thing very quickly :) I'm sure there's a lot of fun interactions for them to have, but it might take me a while to come up with more stuff.
I don't think DP!Charles has advice for RV!Charles... after all, they're kind of in the same boat. But maybe he can teach him a thing or two about giving Edwin time and space? I would love the see everyone's thoughts, because this seems like it could be a fun dynamic.
Thank you for the request, and to everyone else who sent me one: I live in shame. I will get to them.
ko-fi
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callie-flower · 5 months ago
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"proship dni" this, "comship dni" that, "neutral dni" unfortunately the people you don't like are still human and deserve comfort. my fucking god shut the hell up you're just as annoying as they are and protest WAY too much about it. go unlearn your purity morality shit
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galaxythreads · 5 months ago
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Made cake at 11pm today to celebrate my engagement because my parents refused to be happy about it.There is perhaps a small amount of bitterness in me. Cake was good though. Even if it's kind of gray for some reason.
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oceanwithouthermoon · 1 year ago
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https://x.com/d3kutism/status/1741579841764475157?s=46
it should be illegal to be this fucking stupid so loudly and confidently omg..
mfs on the internet preach about "media literacy" yet they completely gloss over the fact that the only damn things that kusuo "canonically" is are a tsundere, an unreliable narrator, and a fucking liar LMFAOOO.. babe thats like basic reading comprehension, im sorry..
EDIT: it should go without saying not to send a person hate just because of a silly post like this one(+i dont have any reach anyway so im sure it wouldnt happen, but i wanna say this nonetheless lol) but i would just like to say that i just checked and realized that this person is 15 years old, so like... yeah, too young to be arguing with grown people on the internet. dont take this too serious or send this person hate pls lol..
#nobody who isnt aroace is allowed to tell ME what character has to be aroace#yall forget that we aroaces (+ESPECIALLY autistic aroaces) dont want or need your ugly white knight savior bs#'oh but im aroace n i also think hes aroace🤓' ok?? should i care about your hcs?#have your projection hcs or your regular random hcs- i literalky DONT care#but it becomes an issue when u try so desperately to defend it like this#like babe u sound so dumb☠️#its so confusing to me how u chronically online weirdos insist on making ur hcs canon#i promise u guys ur hcs dont have to be canon for u to enjoy them#its a VERY popular hc too like tf more do u want#im autistic and aroace and i say kusuo is demi and autistic#i am him and he is me so i know factually/j#so still on the aroace spectrum but either way i dont force my hcs on other people like u selfish weirdos do LOL#also this person and the replies being like 'just cuz not all autistic ppl r aroace doesnt mean none can be' YEA OBVIOUSLY?#UR ARGUING WITH THE WALL AND ITS CRAZY CUZ NOBODY EVER SAID THAT#literally not one fucking person said he cant be aroace- just that it isnt canon#do u even fucking hear urselves.. YOURE the ones saying he cant be anything other than aroace.. so YOURE the one doing the forcing..#u guys love pushing ur stereotypes on others and then defending it to high fucking hell#anyway sorry i dont have a public twitter so im saying my piece here#the link looks suspicious as hell twitter pwease give me a better link#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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mrmeepsmadmind · 1 month ago
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i think red alert would find kinship with cocaine bear
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i like how the lost light's security was just a paranoid guy & a depressed guy, it rlly speaks volumes about the sanity on that ship
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i think they should've been unlikely besties. chill guy who wishes people would look at him and anything but chill guy who wishes people would explode rather than even give him a glance
#swerve wont stop sending trailcutter skibidi toliet videos and red was staring at trails screen like a little snoop#and now red is terrified and haunted by skibidi toliet#he will never step foot near a porcelain throne bcs what if skibidi shows up#they missed the comedic potential of these two together#red shouldve had more onscreen interactions with everyone tbh ESPECIALLY INFERNO COUGH INFERNO#megatron: i need you two to find out what that noise was down in sector whatever idfk insert place here#red alert: of course sir. i will hunt down the hydrogen bomb dragon. it took you long enough to find out abt it sir .#megatron: ???? what#trails: yes your royal shittiness#i think they gossip abt fort max together#theyre both secretly infatuated with him & cant admit it#and theyre also secretly infatuated with each other but red wants to move up the autobot ladder#and tee knows moving up is just becoming more & more of a tool to them#so they never get together out of fear that the other will somehow ruin them worse than they already are#red is better abt remaining professional abt it by busying himself with The Horrors of his mind#but trails is a lot more bitter abt it & will hate (envy) fort max even more when red ends up with him#i think trails just has a lot of one sided crushes that go nowhere bcs everyone else just views him as the alcoholic#or the forcefield guy or the slacker or all 3 at once#the toxic yaoi of whirl and trails i will never not think of u#also i think it's hilarious if red is a paranoid prick to everyone#& lowkey relaxes a smidge of his skepticism off trail bcs hes just a somber alcoholic whos dealing with his own demons#but he never realizes the demons trail has been dealing involve being a vampire along with being depressed#red alert: another mech has offlined with two punctures to the neck ... i have to find the cause.. this is so tiring teebs.. i cant stop#until i Find it... will you help me... please..#the suspiciously vampire fanged energon sucker parasite trailbreaker: yea sure man#red alert#trailbreaker#trailcutter#transformers#mtmte
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raifuujin · 8 months ago
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Could you imagine if Ran tried confiding in anyone about her suspicions about Conan being Shinichi?
Like. Combining her past suspicions with people asking odd questions about Conan (like Heiji and Sera). Maybe talking to Heiji about it, if only because it would be so funny to watch him struggle to cover for Shinichi. Which would have been funnier before Shinichi ever got to hang around Heiji as himself and not as Conan, because then Ran could have been thinking 'I know those two have become friends after the first few times we ran into each other, I don't want Hattori-kun to get too attached to Conan if he's really Shinichi. I might not know what's going on, but I doubt Shinichi would want to stay a kid if he somehow turned into one, and I at least want to check with another detective about what I've noticed'.
Heiji struggling because he's not good at lying, probably sending a text to Shinichi about it as soon as he can. Silently thinking that she's smart and noticed some really good points (because of course someone who's known him since he was an actual child could notice more) while also trying to go 'wasn't there that time when both Conan and Shinichi were together? Though, if he did turn into a kid, he's really good at acting like a real brat sometimes...'
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the-jam-to-the-unicorn · 1 year ago
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Here are the issues I have with the book. Since it's a lot, I'll try to keep it as short as possible and only mention my biggest problems with it. So this list is not complete and I could write pages about it.
Let me start by saying that a good autobiography (or any book that highlights a real life person) should be balanced. It should not glorify that person or pretend that person is a god and without mistakes. I also have no problem with critizing Ze, because, let's face it, yes he made mistakes and fucked things up in the past and not every war decision or speech or whatever was good or perfect. The point is: the critique should be fair and balanced (this obviously doesn't apply to bad people in general and the books about them; but since Ze isn't a bad person...you get what I want to say). The portrayal of Ze in the book is anything but fair or balanced. Or true, for that matter (unless literally every person in Ze's life and who knows him better, including the Kvartal fam, Olena, Andriy or people like them, have been lying to everyone for decades).
Throughout the whole book Shuster does say that Ze is Ukrainian (and Jewish) but also always tries to paint him as an "Ukrainian Russian" - so Ze is actually Russian despite being a "Ukrainian" (basically using one of Russia's Propaganda lies). Ze is basically a stubborn "Ukrainian" who kind of deserves all the hate and arrogance he gets from "real Russians" during KVN times (and later) because Ze is an insufferable asshole during his KVN times. And that Russian treated Ukrainian (or from other former Soviet Union countries) teams badly (including racist remarks, looking down on them, treating them like slaves, insulting them, not giving them a fair chance,...) teams awfully is, in Ze's case, deserved. Because Ze was oh so focused on always winning - no matter what and the cost.
Speaking of KVN: According to Shuster, Ze was terrible as a person during his first years of stardom. A maniac who only lived for applause and needs it to survive and was willing to do absolutely everything to win and beat other teams. Because, you know, he's so obsessed with winning. To a point were even he gives a flying fuck about the Kvartal team and their members (Shuster basically hints that they all disliked Ze and he was some kind of group dictator who only wanted to work and win all the time and was reckless and took to many risks and almost destroyed everyones lifes). When Shuster finds something positive to write about, he quotes people from Kvartal but what he quotes are just general statements or people saying what KVN was like during the 1990s and early 2000s. The moment Shuster writes about Ze and was he (allegedly) like during this time it's almost only "team members" and "people who knem him" and "classmates" and all that stuff - so anon sources. Or it's just Shuster telling stuff without saying what his source is or him just have feelings and thoughts and drawing conclusions. If people get named they - surprise, surprise - have a lot of times bad things to say about Ze or are people who we never ever have heard of as being part of Ze's life. Btw, it's not very hard to guess who the "team member", who talked the KVN years and adds a lot of negative talk about Ze, is... . Denys (yes, THAT Denys) contributed to the book with pictures, so chances are high he also talked to Shuster. If you ever wondered if the asshole would ever get over the fact that he fucked up and Ze kicked his ass out of the group - well, the answer is no. He now just tries to cash in on Ze. And since we are talking about Denys' obvious contribution to the book - he, once again, gave out private photos. How much we all wanna bet that he, once again, didn't ask for consent?!
Shuster also tries to paint Ze's family in a bad light. The father a tyrann who sacrified his wife's (Mama Ze) health for his job and money. Also rarely being at home and giving a fuck about his son and family. Mama Ze spoiling her child and making him entitled. Both to unloving and hard and more or less making Ze's life a living hell. Also that Ze's family was suddenly rich. Not to mention indirectly questioning the trauma his family had to go through (and Ze talked about in the past) under Stalin and the Nazis and family members that are suddenly alive (despite Ze stating in the past that they were dead). Also, Shuster sees in the childhood and family of Ze a part of the explanation why Ze is such a horrible person today, to stubborn to just give up and end the fight (and all that nonsense) and won't win this war. Because the parents put Ze in all kind of activities without him finishing any of it but letting him believe he can do everything and always demanding excellent perfomance in every aspect of his life (to keep it short). So of cooourse Ze had to grow up into a maniac who can't loose and always continues despite what people may tell him and who needs the constant validation and love from others.
There are also a ton of negative remarks about Ze as father and husband in regard of his own family. Not to mentiont hat a ton of informations are factually not correct. Things like birth dates or dates in general, how and where Ze's family lived (missing important context several times), Ze basically being as awful as his father, Ze not giving a fuck about his families safety during the war (Olena was the voice of reason who protects the poor, poor children because their father just wants them back for egoistic reasons and doesn't care about their safety) or not seeing anything concerning about his sons military obsession and instead fueling it (again, it's the poor poor wife who has to protect the son from the awful father), Ze giving zero fucks about his relationship with Olena right from the start and that poor, poor, poor woman always staying behind and having to go through hell and hate because of Ze's maniac ambitions and facing an unsave future in the early 2000s because Ze was so full of himself and had the biggest ego,... . (reading several parts you would think that this "poor, poor woman" is trapped in some abuse situation or Ze somehow tied her to himself and the whole marriage is fake and there is no love) (also Olena simultaniously romantizing things and her life and Ukraine but also being the only who who sees the truth about Ze or several parts of their lives but, of course, can't tell her terrible husband because bad, bad Ze) Also Shuster indirectly claiming that Ze and Olena lied about their relationship and they didn't date for eight years but for a shorter period of time. Because suddenly Olena also was a part of KVN long before Ze (???) and was essentially just his work buddy and friend for a while and somehow and for whatever reason they ended up in a relationship one day. (Also prepare yourself to read about a new version of the "Basic Instinct" story we never have heard before...and Ze and Olena never said.)
Btw, the way Ze is portrayed during his KVN years is essentially with little variation how he's portrayed in later stages of his life. Including his presidency and the war (I'm not going to write several more paragraphes because I think you get the picture Shuster tries to paint of Ze).
Only one thing about Ze's war portrayal: Shuster swings back and forth between Ze as wanna be dictator who will turn Ukraine into something bad as soon as the war is over (and is already starting with that) and who already makes his own rules and gives zero fucks about people and is only interested in his own fame and people applauding him and all that stuff. And Ze being the worst President ever because the war and the current state of Ukraine (which is, of course, very bad and they are about to collapse and loose and big Russia and winning and blablabla) are somehow also his fault. Yes, Shuster really manages to make Ze (and with that Ukraine) partly guilty.
Throughout the whole book he also, sometimes more obvious sometimes hidden, Shuster portrays Ukraine in the worst way possible. He does mention how "bad" Russia is but somehow justifying it several times or leaving out important facts and, once again, context. Also the portrayal of Putin, especially in comparsion with how he writes about Ze, is a joke.
Oh, and, the "inside look in the bunker" life Shuster used for his marketing campaign and that the claim of the book - yeah, bullshit. It's nothing now and anon and all that stuff. Also, once again, portraying Ze in a bad light. Like, yeah, the first weeks of war affected him but to such a worrying point (according to Shuster) that Ze was actually unfit to rule any longer as President but continued (because, you know, he loves power sooo much...). And now he's the mini dictator of Bankova who is always grumpy and changed into a (an even more) awful person and... .
What can I say at the end?! As mentioned earlier, the book has a ton of fake news and wrong facts. It's incredibly poorly researched - if sources exist at all. A lot of times it's Shuster just sharing his feelings or thougths or conclusions or interpretations or whatever. Or just saying things without context. Or writing stuff without giving sources. And to be honest, in some parts it also feels like that Shuster just made stuff up.
If you have no idea about Ze and his life or know very little - that's not the book to get informed. If you know a bit more about Ze, you will surprisingly often feel that certain parts of "exclusive interviews" or "when I talked with XYZ" are strangely familiar...with interviews we all know from Ze's (and several other people) past...because it is these interviews. Just a lot of times missing context, shortening what was said, adding stuff or giving it a new meaning.
Speaking of using old stuff: Shuster also really used his old articles to include them in the book...to a point where it's basically almost word for word.
Overall, the book is in large parts poorly written (so poorly that you wonder how he became a TIME journalist in the first place).
In the end, you probably haven't learned anything new or interesting about Ze, his life, the war or Ukraine. When we talk about Ze, I may have read one, maybe two new things I haven't read before (but questioning both of them and will do research if they are true or just made up by Shuster). It's over 300 sites of wasted paper and ink. I know articles who did a better job than this "book". It's a waste of time and money. And in the end it's a Pro-Russia Propaganda book, trying to undermine the support for Ukraine and hurt Ze and his image (as well as Ukraine's). Shuster tries to be subtle at his try to do this but he isn't not. He tries to come off as critical thinker who wants to portray a balanced picture of Ze and also writes about the sides no one dares to talk about. But nothing about this is balanced. It's just 300+ sites of trashing Ze and backstabbing him and using every possible way. Same applies to Ukraine.
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#thanks anon!!!#HOLY FUCKING SHIT#😱😨😰#im actually so shocked right now#if this is really the book than this is basically shuster trying to destruct ze and ukraine#ze and olena as well as his kvartal fam probably have better things to do right now but if this book has that many false informations...#...i hope someone at some point starts a law suit#im so shocked about what i just read#i didnt expect much from the book since shuster changed so many things about it#and my expectations were almost zero after his latest articles#but thats...something...#denys being part of that?! i probably should be shocked but after the le monde (?) thing im not really...#also read online that people think people close to poroshenko or other political opponents of ze as well as ares-asshole and people like...#...that are shusters sources#i agree with anon that a “balanced” look at a person is always good in suck a book#but also agree with anon that there is nothing balancing if that is zes portrayal#also agree with anon if this is zes portrayal than something really doesnt match up with what his friends family olena and people close...#...to him of from his life said about him since forever#i think its also highly suspicious that before all that (or presidency if you want to go further back) no one could say a bad word about hi#quite the contrary actually#but suddenly everyone thinks badly about him and hates him and ze is such an awful person and all that stuff#and using already existing interviews and his articles and pretend its exlucive and said it to him and its something new???? thats very wil
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shimmerluna · 9 months ago
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i do think there's probably something suspicious about the way everyone loves Ca$h and Quinni and their depth while essentially reducing Darren to their shared supporting character and/or the sassy black woman(/person in this case) stereotype, but I feel somewhat hypocritical bringing it up
#shimmer's thoughts#heartbreak high#darren rivers#cash piggott#ca$h piggott#quinni gallagher jones#tbf i'm mainly a meta writer and i feel like they mentioned darren's issues so clearly in s1 that there's not much for me to say#but most people aren't meta writers. and/or people who know the show better might be able to find things to talk about#it could also be more of a problem with the show itself bc from what i can remember they don't get much else to do#like. it feels like the white characters they support just have more depth and more going on than them#and ik people have talked about the show being weird about missy and malakai#although if we're going to talk about how missy and malakai are mistreated by the show#why is no attention given to the fact that darren's like 90% a stereotype#and 9% is them being desperate enough to change integral parts of themself for a white boy#and 1% is them explaining the stereotype with parent issues where the white dad is focused on and the black mom just disappears#that's still suspicious#also i feel like everyone jumps to hate on them every time they get the chance#without looking at why they do things. but then again the show doesn't really explain their reasoning ever does it#either way i feel like i either see people stereotyping them or shitting on them and no one in between acting regular about things#like i just went into the tags to make sure i'm not losing it and there's like 3 posts cutting them slack for the s1 ca$h storyline#and that's it. everything else focuses on ca$h or quinni or hates on them or stereotypes them. i just think that's a bit odd#idk. i can't put my finger on it but something's not right. i don't trust it#i mean i kinda did put my finger on it. i kinda slapped it repeatedly with my finger. but i still don't see a coherent enough thread here#to be personally satisfied. if i can't write a summary of my thoughts my thoughts aren't clear enough
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sega-saturn-arcade · 1 month ago
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every time soda says "playground is violent" an angel gets shredded by a meat grinder horrifically
#🎧me#ficitonkin#phighting#phighting kin#txt post#dude. i genuinely tweak the fuck out. i am so serious.#as someone who was boombox twice#ACTUALLY. NO. I HAVE 2SPACE KIN LIFE TO BACK THIS UP AS WELL#PLAYGROUND WAS ABSOLUTELY NOT “VIOLENT” I SWEAR IN LIKE TWO OF MY LIVES IT WAS BLACKROCK PROPAGANDA#not to mention how genuinely racist the undertones of soda jokingly being like#“haha place of poverty is violent and mindless and violent and you have to survive there if you lived there” NEVER COOK EVER AGAIN#i am very passionate about Playground because it felt like a home to me. slash boombox#it wasn't exactly a home as Subspace right but it had better energy than blackrock. people were just unfortuantely wary of me there bc . yk#which by the way. i did not and do not blame them considering how much blackrock ruined their lives???#it makes me tweak the fuck out really fucking badly dude i cant stand it DNI if you think Playground is mindless violence#you fools! you're falling for this world's version Blackrock propaganda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in the form of user soda stuff !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sniffles and bursts out into angry tears. YOU ALL ARE HORRIBLE TO PLAYGROUND (“you all” being once again Soda)#this crashout is sponsored by the really Heavy Boombox Kinshift Occurring Right Now#also additionally to add onto the fact of why people were wary. Popular scientist from blackrock and its two biografts#which btw are the models used for war and in phights#are just wandering around asking people about other people#which is inherently suspicious i literally cannot blame them i feel i would be like#really cautious about it too if i was in that position as boombox
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darksideofthemamon · 2 months ago
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Well! Here's my art recap of 2024!
After the shitshow that was last year, anything is better. I've slowed my pace even more, and I think I got away with it because most of what I did was simple. I only have a total of 3 "big" artworks this year, but the last one/bottom left is easily my favorite.
Also! I did a lot of other types of art, mostly because of a discord server I joined (great people!). I participated in art games (though I could only make simple stuff), I was inspired to start writing fics again (and I ended up writing a lot), and I even RP'd for the first time online. Fun!
This year had a lot of highs and lows-- very high highs, and very low lows. But at least I can say I've raised my "floor" so I don't hit the ground as hard when I fall.
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rubiatinctorum · 2 months ago
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At the same time, I think
Adaptations being unfaithful to the source material, especially long after it was first relevant, isn't inherently some great violence done to the text nor a perversion of some pure and noble goal of the original
Sometimes an adaptation of an older work will work with themes that are more contemporarily significant to its current audience, and that's not necessarily a bad thing
It can be very disappointing to ardent fans of the original work who expect to see what they love on the screen/stage/whatever in the adaptation, not only because they now might be privy to what is a completely different story, but also, because this was kind of totally the work's one shot at getting a brand new TV show/movie/stageplay/whatever any time soon, and so this is what experts call a "turbo bummer :("
Some works don't need to be derivative, but wouldn't be made in a certain media landscape if they weren't, so it's better for the story to be told and vaguely connected to a previous IP than to not be allowed to be told in the medium at all.
Ultimately the mark of whether a work of adaptation is good or not rests with its quality as its own story, and if it fucks, well sorry people who dislike it bc it's not the original, but it fucks ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Holy shit, two cakes
All of this does not mean I would not be mad if some adaptation team used MY writing to build their own new story on top of in my lifetime because I already did it perfect the first time thank you very much ;)
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mysterionrisez · 1 year ago
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man ill lose followers for this one but it takes a LOT of ignorance to pretend that there isnt SOMETHING happening with kyle and cartman.
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mariocki · 2 years ago
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Simon Templar meets his match in the shape of Roger Delgado, as Peruvian police chief Captain Rodriguez in The Saint: Locate and Destroy (5.12, ITC, 1966)
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snekdood · 4 months ago
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i think im allowed to assume someones consuming their kinks in a harmful-to-others way if I have first hand experience with them sexually abusing me, personally.
#do i think they always do it in a harmful way? no. because i dont see the world in black and white. statistically thats impossible#but i think its safe for me to assume the worst in this situation with this specific person. personally#instead of trying to make me second guess if i should be so harsh on my abuser and keep my arms closed entirely maybe#we should be confronting them on being a better person for once#yaknow instead of insisting that i need to heal or change or whatever and the fault all lies in me and never in them#food for thought#i promise me being disturbed by and wanting to avoid certain kinks isnt worse than them being sexually abusive. like i really promise.#if you think i do more harm being uncomfortable than they do by sexually abusing ppl then idk what to tell ya#and a lot of the kinks that make me uncomfortable and i try to avoid are the ones they have#forgive me if trauma makes me weary. i mean fuck dude it takes years for me to even feel like i can trust someone enough to be my friend#now you're telling me i hafta jump all the way to trusting ppl wont misuse their kinks towards me? im sorry what world do you live in#i already dont trust a lot of cis men for that reason it doesnt suddenly change just bc you're queer. i gotta know you're not#a sexually abusive creep to even BEGIN to touch the subject of kinks w you#which explains why me and my abusive ex never got that far in that conversation 😒#cis men have a lot of kinks that just hearing them makes me suspicious because personally i have lived with a cis man who sexually#abused me and was very secretive about his kinks and is the type of person to act one way but then is secretly a pos#so yeah im a little fuckin weary dude. im not assuming people with certain kinks are bad by default but id be lying if i said certain#kinks dont make me a little on edge to hear about someone having. and i'd probably take an even longer time sussing that person out#sorry but i just dont need to be sexually abused again. and for me rn avoiding that is being weary of certain things.#a lot of it is context too... a group of people pretending to be super familiar with me and wanting to dive into kink stuff right away bc#we're all queer so it should be Fine and want me to come to their place that i need to take a car to at night.... yeah gonna pass#but thats why im saying a good long ol' sussing is needed for me to feel ok. if you have an issue with me needing to feel like i#can trust someone to be around them thats just.... really weird. obv i cant always control that but i mean specifically situations i can#obligatory: none of this has to do w kink in public or anything this is all about my own personal life
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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...
#head instructor to the TAs in the lab section i TA for: how r u guys feeling abt the workload?#me who hasnt graded anything since week 1 and spent an hr that morning filling out a patient safety plan: 🙃#listen. we r experiencing symptoms that make us shitty at our job. which is not helpful for a positive outlook#i was also experiencing horrible cramps at the time bc i lost my ibuprofen and 2 days ago i stopped the birth control in a desperate effort#to stop feeling terrible. but in this moment i feel alright. its wild to go from drastically unhappy to like lol wtf was that? anyway stop#being a bby loser. for no obvious reason. im gonna start the birth control again to see if i get depressed again or if that was just me lol#i dont think my therapist understands the depth of my executive functioning issues tho. bc im a grad student and can meet deadlines. like#let me tell u im a fucking disaster abt starting things. i will go back and forth and get nothing done forever. or i do things halfway and#make everything 30 times more difficult later bc no one else understands how my brain works#ah well. itll b fine. sometimes i just get freaked out that i wanna b better and i dont kno how to do that. so i spiral in despair a lil#ill b fine. im good at catching myself before i get too out of control. annoyingly tho i am not currently beating the bip0lar allagations#bc whatever tf is wrong with me i do probably fit the diagnostic criteria for bip0lar 2. i dont kno y that freaks me out so much. i guess#its bc it feels like something i cant just make better thru force of will and i grew up in a home that was very obsessively#health conscious to the point my dad gets anxious abt taking a single ibuprofen. so like ive been conditioned to get freaked out by#medication. literally my grandma will call me and tell me to b suspicious of doctors and to not take medicine unless absolutely necessary.#like lady u r the genetic reason i have 0cd shut the fuck up. also it feels like something that would more negatively affect how ppl think#of u than saying oh yea i get depressed or i have anxiety. like the connotation feels worse im used to just telling ppl whatever tf#my problem is. so the idea of holding something back feels weird. which annoys me bc i dont think there should b so much of a stigma. its#bullshit. anyway idk. im tired. i was trying to think of a comfort tv show with my therapist and all i could think was the terror#when im depressed i wanna watch those English mother fuckers suffer and die. i just lov that show so much. harry g00dsir my beloved. the#most me coded character to ever exist#unrelated
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