#it makes me tweak the fuck out really fucking badly dude i cant stand it DNI if you think Playground is mindless violence

[sega-saturn-arcade]

every time soda says "playground is violent" an angel gets shredded by a meat grinder horrifically

[fiddler-unroofed]

Creek Wedding Headcanons

-After like a billion years of being together Tweek starts dropping some hints that they might want to consider taking their relationship to the next level... nudge nudge....

-And Craig is just really confused because "tweek we've already had sex" "THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT" "lots of it, actually" "HAJSHJAHAHA"

-Until finally he's hanging out with Kenny and he's complaining that "tweek's been acting so weird lately, he keeps on saying how much he loves me and that he wants to take our relationship to the next level and that we should start thinking about the future and tax benefits and stuff... what do you think he means kenny"

-And Kenny just picks up his newspaper, rolls it up, and whacks him on the fucking head with it

- "ow! kenny why did you do that?" "MMPPH MPH MMM!!!" "what?? marriage??? tweek... wants to....MARRY me?????"

-Cue a very flustered blushy boy who grabs his things, tells Kenny he needs to go, and rushes to find a jewelry shop

-Meanwhile Tweek figures Craig will never get the hint, so he goes off and does some ring shopping of his own. You know, to get the ball rolling already

-That very night they're lying on their couch watching TV together, and it's commercial break, and Tweek is wearing nothing but an oversized coffee stained shirt, a pair of Craig's boxers and a relaxed expression on his face as he eats popcorn from Craig's hat (currently a makeshift bowl)

-And Craig decides this is the perfect time to propose.

-So he slips off the couch claiming he needs to go to the bathroom, then returns a minute later with a small black box

-Except Tweek isn't really paying attention because the commercial break is over and he's watching TV again

-So Craig picks up the remote, turns off the TV, and is promptly almost murdered by his boyfriend

- "WHAT THE FUCK, MAN!! I WAS, NGH, WATCHING THAT!!!!" "tweek calm down i have a surprise for you" "YEAH WELL I DO TOO!! ITS CALLED A KICK IN THE NUTS, ASSHOLE!!!!"

-Craig just fucking shoves the box in Tweek's face so he'll calm down

-And Tweek opens it

-And there's the most beautiful ring he's ever seen

-And he gets even angrier

- "Wh-- WHAT!!! ARE YOU PROPOSING TO ME!!!!" "yep" "NO NO NO YOU CANT DO THAT!!!!!!"

-And Craig is even more confused, not to mention a little worried he's about to get dumped-- "i thought this was what you wanted?" and Tweek just groans, even while blushing like a tomato

-And he reaches under the sofa pillow and pulls out a black box of his own and sulkily hands it over to Craig

-And that's when Craig realizes what's just happened

-Cue lots of bickering on who technically proposed to who, kisses, and "yeah i'll marry you... you're still an asshole though". They then proceed to cuddle all night long.

-Now it's time to make wedding arrangements, which actually doesn't go too badly-- Craig doesn't really give a fuck about things like seating charts and flower arrangements, so Tweek has full creative reign

-Craig's parents offer to pay for most of the expenses because they, unlike Richard "Selfish Bitch" Tweak, actually care about their son's happiness. Tweek doesn't want them paying for everything though so he takes initiative to work twice as hard at the coffee shop as well as get a second job as a cashier elsewhere

-Craig, who figures this is way too much pressure for his boyfriend fiance to cope with, kicks him out of both jobs and takes them over himself

- "you just deal with flower arrangements, honey, i'll work." "no, ngh, IM NOT--" "no need to thank me 😘"

-They end up hitting their first major hitch with the invite list.

-Both Tweek and Craig can agree on the main people they wanna invite (Craig's family, Token, Jimmy, Clyde, Kevin Stoley) but beyond that it's a bit of a mess

-Tweek wants to invite his parents (Craig figures that since his parents have always been dicks and didn't even offer anything for the wedding except Tweak Bros coffee samples for the guests, they shouldn't be invited) and Stan (Craig would rather eat his fucking socks than have that sexually ambiguous jock at his wedding)

-Craig wants to invite Thomas (Tweek isn't too partial to the idea of inviting Craig's first crush to their wedding, of all things) and Kenny ("oh, so we can't invite stan but we can invite, ack, KENNY???" "cut me some slack babe")

-They finally compromise by only letting Tweek's mom come, letting Stan come only if he brings Kenny as his date (because lol), and inviting Thomas to the reception

-This brings them to their second (and final) major hitch: outfits.

-In all the weddings they've ever been to they've seen at least one person, or maybe both, wear the dress. This has led to them both being convinced that one of them also has to wear a dress. And, problem is, neither of them want to.

- "YOU HAVE A, NGH, BETTER FIGURE!!!" "now we both know that's not true. your ass is way better suited for a dress" "AGSHHAHAH!!!"

-This leads them to a big fight that lasts for basically the remainder of the wedding prep. So now it's the day before the wedding and they're still fighting

-After trying (and failing) to reach an agreement, they both finally storm off. And then feel bad ten minutes later.

-What do they do to fix this? Both of them privately decide to wear a dress and surprise the other one at the altar. And of course they decide this without telling each other.

-So now it's the day of the wedding, and it's a beautiful autumn day, and Tweek is standing at the altar (because let's be real, walking down the aisle would be way too much pressure for him) in a brilliant blue dress blushing like a mess

-And after waiting for a good half hour, Tricia finally skips down the aisle throwing carnations every which way and revealing [cue drum noises] Craig.

-Who is also wearing a dress.

-A floor length green one, to be precise. He already looks pretty awkward, but after seeing Tweek, who's also in a dress, his face just fucking freezes

-As he makes his way down the aisle, he's torn between flipping off Clyde who's sobbing like a baby ("our little boy, token!! he's all grown up 😭😭") or Jimmy, who whistles at him

-And when he gets to the altar, he immediately starts to bicker with Tweek under his breath about the whole dress thing while the priest reads their vows

-And finally Tweek hisses "well could you have even walked any slower down that, ack, aisle?? i could feel spiders weaving their webs in my hair!!" and Craig is like "oh, sorry. i was too busy trying not to fall over the dress that i wore for you. i don't even like green" which is a total lie and they both know it

-Then Tweek discreetly stomps on his foot from under the hem of his dress, and Craig can't help but grin, because wow. He's marrying this man

[Bonus Stan at the reception like "dude you guys realize you could have both just worn suits right" "SHUT UP STAN"]

-I just have a lot of feelings for ridiculous Creek weddings okay