#This is as the kids would say cringe

[thingsmysplattershotjrtoldme]

Honestly, I've been thinking of a dumb bit of lore with my OC's Milka and Aggie....

After the events of Story Mode, Milka ends up being fired from her job as DJ due to missing too many shifts due to her Agent duties (as well as getting called into the lobby several times due to Aggie being the gremlin she is and basically having to cut her shifts short) and because of that, she also loses the apartment that the radio let her have as part of her contract. After hearing about that, Captain 3 decides to let the two live with them, 4 and 8 in the apartment they all share (it's pretty big because Callie and Marie helped pay for it).

Somehow, Aggie finds Dedf1sh on the Splatsville streets of all places and decides that the weird green octoling digging through the trash for a meal ticket is her new best friend now and brings her into the apartment to crash on their couch.

Because all the agents do their own thing in Splatsville (Captain is still investigating Alterna, 4 is furthering their education by interning somewhere while taking online college courses, 8 is a weapon tester for Sheldon and Milka had to take up several jobs to get back into an apartment of her own), Aggie is often left alone for several days at a time (Milka will get some of her friends to check on her often, they've only found the apartment slightly on fire twice!), so no one really noticed Dedf1sh was there for quite awhile, and when they did it was deemed too much of a dick move to kick her back out on the streets (also the apartment wasn't on fire and the tiny gremlin child was not as scuffed up as usual, so they figured Dedf1sh being a built in babysitter wasn't too bad of an idea)

However, Milka was the last person to arrive back after the new couch surfer appeared and was to put it mildly, very confused.

Milka - "Wuh- Why is there a green skinned octoling on our couch?"

Aggie - "That's Dedf1sh!"

Milka, even more confused - "Correction - why is there a dead fish on our couch?"

Did I think all of this up just for that joke?

Maybe....

[captainuranium543]

"jerza would have 1 kid" "jerza would have 3 kids" WRONG!!!!

jerza would adopt 15 fucking cats and unironically call them "fur babies"

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

actually the most important skills you can teach your kids are household skills. boy or girl. household skills.

[soosoosoup]

Haaayy can you tell us more about your au where branch finds cooper's egg?

Hiiii!! Thanks for asking! And of course :)

lol turns out I had a lot more thought out. Fair warning, none of this is concrete, this was thought up a while ago and uhhhhh… writing is not my strong suit lol

In this au I had debated whether to make copper a little bit younger, I already hc him as the youngest of the snack pack so idk if its needed lol.

While in the beginning of making his bunker, branch (who’s maybe 7??) would travel farther out into the forest and gather supplies to build when he stumbles on what looks like an egg? Just in time too, ‘cause Coops pops out like in twt, does his little groove, & then proceeds to flop over to nap (being baby is tiring work).

Branch is just ??? cause like what?? Baby? Way out here in the woods?? Why does the baby have 4 legs??? Why is said baby all alone? And that last part makes b pause for a sec bc where’s his family? Did he lose them? Or is it even worse…was he left behind? (He might be projecting a lil).

Cooper and Branch proceed to live where other kids w/o families go. Caretakers try to care for cooper & he is not having it. After all, branch is the first person he’d ever seen, was the first person who’d carried him. He’s imprinted on branch and whole heartedly believes and he is his family. So if C needs to be taken care of B has to be there. It goes on long enough that the caretaker decides it'll just easier if branch helped take care of him; and who knows maybe he'll regain his color being around such a happy little goober.

At first, branch doesn’t realize how much he means to C and assumes his attachment will fade. After all why wouldn’t it when he’s being doted on by warm and cheerful trolls. But nope! Whenever the caretakers aren't taking cooper around the village, Cooper is always following Branch. Around the pod, and through the woods. Branch looks out for him, talks to him, teaches him what he can, and even plays games! I think the fact that branch has been a part of Coopers whole life gives him a sense of obligation perhaps like a big brother?. It's easy to be open to him.

All attempts to foster Cooper are unsuccessful. It's not that Cooper doesn't match the family, it's that he just doesn't want to live with them. Imagine a foster family having the time of their lives singing & playing around & when the time comes Cooper's like 'I had a lot of fun today! Time to go! what?? Stay here? be a part of your family? ...Nope :D

When the time comes that the bunker can feasibly house him, (preteen?) Branch packs up what little he owns, and prepares to leave that night. It's not like the anyone at the orphanage would chase after him. Well, except for one trolling.

It's been years, long enough that their bond is strong, they're brothers in all but name. At least unnamed on branch's side, he kind of refuses to acknowledge it.

Anyway- Branch waits until everyone falls asleep and sneaks out. He doesn't even make it out of the room lol. One foot out the door and a sleepy voice is asking him where he's going. Branch just says he's going to the bunker, that he'll see him soon, it won't be forever you see what im trying to parallel? and it's true. It's not like he's leaving to who knows where. Cooper just nods & yawns out a "bye, see you later". Love me a parallel

Branch lasts an hour or two in the bunker. He's on edge the whole time, racked w/ guilt. Has a little mental spiral until there is just one loud thought of 'what am i doing? there's someone waiting for me' and runs back.

In the joined room, Cooper fell asleep on branch's bed waiting for him. So making sure not to wake him, Branch rests coopers head on his lap. Leaning against the headboard Branch just stares at his vest left at the end of the bed & has a moment of clarity. Like oh, that's why i felt terrible, i left my little brother behind. (Keep in mind that no, he didn’t really do that, but he’s a kid and that whole ‘see you later’ really shook him so he’s making some jumps in logic)(there some projecting happening as well)

So yeah, gained a brother!! yay!!! Cooper beat you to that revelation yeeaarrrss ago lol.

One thing I like about branch being a big bro is this idea that the more he learns about what it means to be one, the less he can understand his brothers. And are they his brothers?? Over the years it’s not looking like it.

[giggling-stars]

I've got zero clue what things to tag this please help ksjfkjskjsf

[chronic-cynic]

I know everyone wants a Solitaire movie (and so do I) but I honestly think they'd fuck it up beyond anyone's imagination.

[hyperbolicgrinch]

✨ weekend wip exposure club ✨

rules: post 7 sentences/a snippet of an unfinished work

@theotherwhybietoldmeso & @killerandhealerqueen

I'm late, I'm late, I'm late. Forgive me. I was fighting demons (imposter syndrome, crippling self doubt, fatigue, and a wild pack of mental illnesses). (⁠◕⁠દ⁠◕⁠) But! I'm finally back after like three ass weeks. <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠> So, here! A v unserious snippy from my we have to stay silly modern kidlaw au (yeah, shocker, it's them bastards again) that I've been doing sometimes on the side just for shits n giggles. 〜⁠(⁠꒪⁠꒳⁠꒪⁠)⁠〜

The call connected and Killer's accent crackled out of the speaker. “Law? What's up?”

“Nothing urgent. I just need to know if Eustass h—”

“Yeah, his phone’s dead again. He's in the shed. You want him?”

“What?”

“Hang on. I'll get him.”

Law pinched the bridge of his nose. Squeezed his eyes shut till he saw pinpricks. “No, I just need to know if—”

"Oi, Kid! Your boyfriend wants to speak ta ya!"

Law snapped his eyes back open and nearly crushed his phone as his hand clenched in a useless attempt to smother the speaker.

Ahead of him in the aisle, hands in his pockets, Cora stopped. His leg held out in front of him as he froze mid-stride.

Dammit.

After a beat, as if he'd been waiting for what he'd heard to start making a little more sense, Cora slowly turned on his heel. His other leg still stuck out in front of him and the hem of his heart-covered button-up twirling with him.

He stared wide-eyed at Law. The embodiment of flabbergasted. His raised boot absently clicking down on the supermarkets’ bland tiling like an accompanying exclamation point.

Dammit!

"He's not my damn boyfriend!" Eustass yelled, taking the words out of Law's mouth.

The heavy rock blasting from the shed’s stereo lowered enough in volume to not blow out Law's phone speaker and Eustass' voice dropped several octaves as he brought Killer's phone up to his ear.

“Miss me, did ya, sweetheart?”

His eyes bulging, Cora took several steps back in bewilderment and tripped over one of the restocking boxes stacked in the aisle.

"Shut up, Eustass!" Law snapped. His face igniting alongside his fury. "You're on speaker!"

There was a pause so pregnant it had reached its third trimester. Then Eustass chuckled. It had a grotesque amount of facetious glee in it.

"Am I now?"

So. That had been a mistake. But Law could only double down now.

"Behave," he said through clenched teeth. "Or I'll—"

"You'll what? Don't go making promises you can't keep, princess."

Cora toppled back over the box trying to get up and landed on his back with his legs sticking straight up.

"I'm going to—!" Catching Cora's eye from down on the floor, Law sighed. "Doesn't matter. I'll deal with you later. Cora-san wants to know if you have any dietary restrictions.”

He scrunched down into his jacket. Tense. Gritting his teeth. Law still wasn't sure how Cora had talked him into letting him come over and cook dinner. But if it had been a bad idea before, it was a horrendous one now.

Eustass Kid was an arsehole. Always had been. Always would be. Always was. There wasn't a chance in hell he could be trusted not to—

"Hold up. Cora's there?"

"Yesss," Law hissed, ready to brain him.

“Put him on then.”

“Don't tell me what to do!”

Cora looked from Law to the phone and then accepted it when Law clicked his tongue on his teeth in irration and offered it down to him.

Tagging @schwazombie (no pressure. You keep working on those kidlawgust prompts if you're still on a roll 😊) and anyone else that wants to give it a whirl ✨✨

[snazzi-strawberri]

watching this video essay where this dude is like "i dont wanna sound mean spirited towards these kids making amateurish art online" and then the next sentence is calling their art shit and cringe and saying that their art is purely for ppl to laugh at it Like Holy Shit I Will Kill you. Have some fucking Decency. Dont cover media made by young kids if youre not gonna recognize its sincerity and love put in it even if it looks "cringe" to you. Ohmygod. What a dick

[snackugaki-jestsjapesjokes]

In commemoration of this

Let us remember what Frida can do canonically

gave her the ol' Shikamaru's Kagemane no Jutsu treatment for ninpo which is fitting really since

And what's more ninja than shadow manipulation?

Just y'know, from a 90s weeb standpoint who saw how fucking obsessed U.S media was with ninja in the 80s and 90s, the earlier TMNT could have stood to be MORE ninja. The newer iterations kinda sorta have gotten "more ninja" instead of generic milk chocolate martial arts with a shiny ninja candy coating

[steviesbicrisis]

Since the Italian government wants to ban all the foreign languages, will I be safe if I change my name to “🤌La-crisi-bi-di-Stefano🤌”? Or am doomed?

[spearxwind]

going into the south p/rk tag on this website is a trip and a half

[transgender-catboy]

someone on Roblox called me a 14 year old in his "escape the matrix" phase because of my computer head avatar 😔

took everything in my power not to correct them and tell them it was actually a fursona

[kimbapisnotsushi]

i for real think bnha should be academically studied honestly

[kakusu-shipping]

For domestic asks: 22 and 23?

Hhhhh More Domestic brainrot I LOVE YOU thankyou very much!!!

Sense you didn't ask a specific ship I am going to default to Mariocest. Again

Asks from Here

22. Weirdest hobby the other endures?

Mario's a furry. He got into it in Middle School, made himself a Fursona, commissioned art of it, the whole thing. He does not have a fursuit, however, because he can't afford one. Yet.

Luigi, around the same time Mario first joined the Furry community online, got into anime. Unlike Mario, however, ended up growing out of his weeb phase and leaving it (mostly) behind him.

Being a Furry isn't exactly a weird hobby, but Luigi really relates it more to their Cringe Middle School ages, so to him it's weird. He's never outright mean about it, just takes the shots he's handed.

23. Food one hates and their partner loves?

Luigi can eat anything. Probably actually literally. Hand him something and tell him to eat it, he'll do it without even looking at it. Uncle Tony's gotten him to eat all sorts of random objects including and not limited to; A small piece of the drywall, a napkin with some pasta sauce on it, two nickles, several rocks, a nut off his dad's car, and 3 white chess pieces (two pawns and a knight)

Mario's a little picker. We know he's not a big fan of mushrooms, it's mostly the texture, he's also kinda weird about eggs, avocado in any form, mashed potatoes, and most leafy greens.

He's also not as big a sweet tooth as Luigi. Not that he doesn't like desserts, just not as much as his brother. On the flip Luigi's not a "could eat delivery pizza for every meal for three months" kind of guy like Mario.

[tariah23]

I know that you talk about antiblackness amongst Asians, but can we step back for a moment and talk about antiblackness amongst Latinos because holy shit

https://x.com/bthetsunami/status/1730731475736375399?s=46&t=QiKHdDdvKoMxWGyakqTvxA

https://x.com/basedvasco/status/1730321408348369358?s=46&t=QiKHdDdvKoMxWGyakqTvxA

https://x.com/basedvasco/status/1730712739503558765?s=46&t=QiKHdDdvKoMxWGyakqTvxA

I know that there’s Afrolatinos, but people act like their existence disproves antiblackness amongst Latinos.

A couple of weeks ago a Mexican classmate dropped the n-word and justified using it because he was Mexican. I hate it here so much.

They’re holding hands and running through a field of colorful flowers when it comes to their levels of antiblackness and it’s not even funny. Sm of them love saying nigga and then when confronted about why they chose to use the word, all that they say is that “they’re Mexican,” or whatever, just like you said, and would be dead serious. Almost smugly. As if being a poc absolves them somehow and it’s just very sad.

[torchickentacos]

In order to keep a tumblr-social-judgment-approved balance of media consumption, I alternate between Pokeani (children's media) and House MD (something problematic happens every 5 minutes). It's like pemdas or something, it probably evens out.