#This is also why I didn’t draw arti sadly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

themowrites · 4 years

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One-Shot: Everything Works Out In The End.

+ I would like to thank the anon for giving me the opportunity of bringing his/her PROMPT to life; I hope I executed it properly. Thank you again and readers enjoy! Constructive and Positive feedback is always welcomed. -Mo

“You got me treading on the water. Because I've never learned to swim. And now I know that it's all over. I better learn to start again.” –Kodaline (Everything Works Out In The End).

Mercedes looked over at Samuel as he slept peacefully beside her naked frame, she watched slowly as his chest rose and fell and she shifted gently. Turning her body to face his, trying her best not to disturb him during his peaceful slumber. She’d be leaving for LA in a day and he had managed to convince her to do the unthinkable. She pulled the covers up, a cold night’s chill rushing over her as she laid their bear with him and she managed to pull her herself out of her head long enough to lay her head there. Hazelnut skin pressed against his perfect chiseled chest as she inhaled his scent deeply, what if she never got to relish in this exact moment again. The sex was something, but with or without it, she’d still long for the man as she departed across what felt like the highest mountains and lowest of seas. But she had to follow her dreams, right? She asked herself would it be worth it, as she drew tiny hearts across his skin sadly.

“What are you doing?” Samuel’s gruff voice spoke, a smirk sporting his thick pink lips as he opened his eyes looking down at Mercedes. Her hair was a mess of curls that had fallen and sweated out, however, in this lighting as the moon danced across her skin, she’d never looked so beautiful to him. He grabbed her hand, stopping her motion and he pecked the back of it tenderly before he said “I thought you were asleep…”

His eyes rolled back shut tiredly, as his other hand stroked her head of hair idly. Mercedes head leaned upwards as she looked to him. “Writing I love you across your skin” she answered honestly, not matter how it may how sound leaving her lips. At his next remark she shifted, looking at the window where the moon glowed. “I can’t sleep” she breathed to him; she should’ve been able to after all. He had, had her locked away in his room all evening; losing her virginity had been a full-time job. Or a lesson, depends on who you asked out of the two. He’d done all the work and yet she was still able to please him as he’d done her. That was once she got over the initial shock and uncomfortable adjustment to a size, she didn’t quite picture this entire time. She licked her plump lips at that and looked back at him.

Samuel smirked; his forehead managed to crease between his brows as he asked himself why she was doing that subconsciously. “You should get some rest” he reasoned as he shifted wrapping her up in his long arms. “You have so much to do…” he reminded her, his hand resting on the small of her back, drawing circles there. His eyes never opened though he was watching her no doubt, his chest was pressed against her ample bosom and he wouldn’t deny how incredible that felt. He finally opened his eyes again and looked to her “what’s on your mind?” he asked her knowingly, the words left him just as he left a kiss on her lips. Drawing back to look into her almond orbs, “you can tell me anything” he said softly, green eyes piercing hers.

As he shifted his long body, pulling her closer to him, his arms pressed fluff against muscle mass. She closed her eyes for a moment as he reminded her yet again about her new phase in life. Heartbreakingly she opened her eyes to stare into his, this time they were glossy, and she said “I don’t want to leave you” her chine quivered only a little as she closed her eyes again. Hugging him back tightly she fell quiet.

As she confessed her true feelings, he nodded his head at her, he hadn’t thought of her move as a negative thing. He wouldn’t forgive himself if he selfishly let her stay, only to waste a dream as big as hers away. He needed her to go to LA, not just for herself, but for him. He wouldn’t be any prouder unless he had the opportunity to fly the plane himself. “You know I love you” he said against her skin as he pecked her forehead “and I’ll do anything for you” he added pecking her forehead again. “And that means sacrifice” he told her sternly. “It’s going to hurt like hell being apart, but you have to do this, it’s your destiny” he reasoned. He kissed her forehead again, lips lingering there for a while as his eyes closed “we will get through this” he said confidently. “It’ll work out, you’ll see” he sighed heavily as he opened his eyes again to look at her.

Mercedes nodded her head against him sadly, she bit down on her bottom lip as her warm tears spilled anyway. As he went on, just making the idea of being away from him harder she sniffled. She continued to nod her head at him, maybe if she kept repeating his words her heart would eventually catch up with her head and she’d convince herself that it would be fine as well. “Okay” she said in a shaky voice in response to him. Words had left her, she knew it would hurt, because it was killing the hell out of her already. She nodded her head again for good measure as she sucked her tears up, wiping them away slowly.

Samuel’s thumb swiped against her skin gently, he’d never like to see her in this light. What man wanted to watch the woman he loved cry? As she finally replied he nodded his head saying “okay” back to her sweetly as his lips met hers in a feverish kiss. His lips parted only ever so slightly so that their tongues could meet with each other again. They’d been apart for too long and the blonde had realized that now. He needed to remind her body and soul, just what they had and why no amount of distance in the World could separate them truly. They were soulmates, destined for a life full of happiness and lifelong memories. He was hers, as long as she were his. And only God could take that away. His hard body shifted against the bed as he positioned himself above her now, moaning deeply into their kiss ever more as her delicate hand slid its way up to his face to cup it lovingly. Oh, how he adored the way, her hand felt resting over his heart, it would be death they’d part.

“Thank you so much for picking me up at the last minute” Mercedes said to Mike as she closed the door to the backseat of his sedan. She looked down at her little boy Cameron safely fastened in his car seat, she kissed his head of hair and looked towards her old friend again. “Something came up and my mother totally forgot about us here at the airport” she finished as she placed her seatbelt on herself.

“It was no problem at all, I didn’t know if you were actually going to come into town or not. Glad you did decide to” he smiled sweetly. “I got to see little Cameron again so that’s a plus” he chuckled as he drove down the road. “So where do I need to go first?” he asked her curiously. “You know… everyone is uh… meeting up” he paused looking at his watch for a minute “at the diner at around 5 pm today” he told her looking back at her and the curly haired little boy in his backseat. He didn’t know how things were doing to go, he was in the middle of all of this and truthfully it was hard to lie to his dearest friend. Though he guessed it wasn’t a lie if the topic wasn’t actually spoken about publicly. However, he still felt terribly bad for Samuel’s sake.

“I decided at the last minute. Cameron is so young you know” she told her friend. “I haven’t really traveled with him like this before, mother always came to us” she said looking back down at the tired child once more. “But it’ll be fun to catch up and see everyone, it’s been what? Almost two years?” she sighed. “My mother’s house, I’ll be staying there. I opted out of a hotel” she acknowledged. “I just” she sighed heavily to the man shaking her head, “I uh, I don’t know Mike. I have so much guilt weighing on me it’s hard to think or breathe most days…” she actually confessed to him for a change.

Mike continued to carry them down the road in the vehicle and he licked his lips slowly listening to her. He got it, lapsed judgement and scare caused her to lie to the man, break off their relationship, and hide his only child from him for the last how many months? He could understand her desire to protect everyone in the situation at all cost, but he also understood the negative impact it had on her life no matter what she was trying to accomplish in all of this. He didn’t really see how it would be possible for someone to attempt to hide a child, but he intended on honoring wishes to his fullest ability. “Listen” the man spoke confidently “you are a lot of things, a big character” he chuckled lightening the mood. “However, everyone knows your heart ‘Cedes” he breathed “if it’s becoming too much lessen the burden, release it to the wind” he said poetically. “Tell him, Samuel knows your heart better than we all do. He would have to understand exactly what you were trying to achieve; don’t you think?” he asked her though he didn’t really believe that statement himself, he’d be livid if the love or his life or past love had done this very thing to him.

Mercedes looked up at her friend, watching the back of his head as he spoke. At one point of time, she looked away and out of the window as she offered Cameron her hand to play with as he sat there. She nodded her head despite the man being incapable of seeing her, she didn’t know. All of this happened to be overwhelming and confusing at times. “You are right” she finally offered to him after a while of going over the thoughts and things he just said in her own head. “Thanks again Mike.”

Mike walked into the diner that they were all supposed to meet up at mutually, 5 pm on the dot. He asked the hostess for the party’s location and happily traveled towards the table. He saw Samuel, Artie, Blaine, Kurt, and Jake at the table chatting among themselves. They were early to the reunion or perhaps on time, which was unexpected in his opinion, but he greeted them all casually and grabbed himself a seat. “How is it going?” he asked them all mutually. “I expected to be one of the first ones” he said with a smirk as he made himself comfortable sitting on Samuel’s right.

Jake looked at Mike offering the man a simple head nod, “we all kind of hitched rides with each other” he chuckled lightly.

“We didn’t expect to be on time either ole pal” Samuel said with a goofy grin.

“Well, we don’t get to do this often, so, you know” Artie said with a shrug “it’s worth being on time for” he said with a smile. “The whole gang is back, give or take a few….”

“Agreed” Mike said gesturing to Artie with his pointer finger. “This should be a fun gathering…”

“What held you up anyway?” Samuel asked Mike turning his head towards him, once the thought occurred finally.

“Ah, I had some errands to run” Mike said to Samuel, “had to swing by the airport and stuff” he told the man without much thought.

Samuel nodded his head and said, “oh yeah, who did you pick up?” curiously as he picked up his glass and took a sip of his drink.

“You actually would never guess it” Mike said to the man with a small smirk. He opened his mouth to respond to him the best way he knew how, however he was interrupted by their server.

“Hi there” the woman said to Mike “what could I get you to drink this evening?” she asked as she grabbed her guest check pad and pen from her apron.

“Hello” Mike told the woman and he looked down at the menu for a moment before he went with his gut and ordered a “root beer” he spoke. “Have you all ordered?” he asked the guys.

“Not yet, we were waiting on everyone” Kurt said “we did order a few starters” he admitted.

“Well in that case, just the root beer” Mike said smiling to the woman.

Nodding her head, she said “alright, one root beer. And do any of you guys need anything, while I grab that and check on your starters?” she pressed the group. After getting a moderate no thank you from everyone, she moved to walk off from the table again.

“So, who was it? Tina?” Blaine asked nosily, curiosity would kill the cat today because unlike everyone else he actually really desired to know who all planned on coming.

Mike chuckled shaking his head “no, no. I’m not sure if she came in town, you know not everyone really responded to the email threads. But I did uh, pick Mercedes and Cameron up from the airport, dropped them off a few hours ago and then I had some other errands to run” he shrugged, having let slip a huge secret in the process.

Kurt eyes grew as Mike went on to explain where he was, what he was doing, and finally who he had picked up from the airport.

Artie eyebrows stitched together as he tried to recall a Cameron in his memory bank. It wasn’t ringing a bell however and perhaps he was the only one who didn’t know. Wonder if it’s a new boyfriend, juicy, he thought to himself know all the details to Samuel and Mercedes’ break-up.

Blaine tilted his head “who’s Cameron?” he asked aloud before he looked at Kurt with a raised brow. The forceful kick the man supplied him under the table was a red flag that clearly his significant other knew something he didn’t. He had overstepped somewhere. So instead of meeting the eyes of the other men he grabbed his glass of water and took a long sip from it.

Samuel rolled the paper from his straw between his fingers “Mercedes” he said first, very unaware that she was coming. Afterall, she hadn’t been seen in almost two years and they weren’t quite on speaking terms. Well in his head at least. However, upon the mention of someone named Cameron he raised a brow and looked at Blaine then Kurt to his left. “Who’s Cameron?” he asked Mike looking over at him again.

Mike looked down for a moment, shit, he said to himself before he looked over at Kurt. He needed the man to throw him a life vest but obviously he much like Mike couldn’t think of a good enough lie at the moment. And just like that save by the bell again, thank you God he said as Quinn approached the table with Brittany in toe.

“The boys beating us to the punch, how lovely…” Quinn said cutting in with a wide grin. “How is everyone?” she questioned them as she moved to grab a seat between Mike and Samuel.

Brittany smiled at everyone scattered about the chairs around the huge table. “Hey guys!” she said cheerfully. She followed behind Quinn who happened to have been her ride, she sat down at the table next to Artie planting a soft kiss to his cheek before she smiled at Jake who was sitting on her other side. “I missed you guys” she said hugging Artie gently.

Kurt looked towards Quinn, thankfully and he smiled at her as he moved his hand for Blaine’s knee. “Well, we all just about piled into each other’s car so that helped” he said to her changing the subject gladly. “Doing great, you?” he asked, looking at her directly.

Samuel looked at Mike who avoided his question, yet again. He looked over at the women as they rolled in and he sat back in his chair. If any of them thought for a second he was going to sit at a table with Mercedes and her new boy toy they were sadly mistaken. Just the simple thought of that was making his blood boil. He pushed the straw paper aside as he lifted his glass and took a long sip from it again, his eyes fixed on the side of Mike’s face.

Artie blushed a little at Brittany and looked at her with a fond smile on his face “we missed you too” he told her kindly. He stared at her for a few more minutes before he looked at Quinn and said, “no complaints here, everything has been great.”

“Who else is showing up?” Quinn asked them all as she removed her jacket and draped it on the back of her chair revealing her, somewhat revealing dress before she laced her fingers together and rested her hands in her lap.

“Rach” Blaine said in response to Quinn politely as he took her in, she looked amazing. Though he guessed she kind of always did.

“And Tina” Kurt added looking to Blaine for a brief moment a smile on his face. “She text me a hour ago and said she made it in and will meet us here as soon as she’s freshened up and stuff” he added, his eyes moving towards Mike now. Confirming what the man claimed he didn’t know just moments ago.

Samuel looked to Kurt before he said “and Mercedes” all the chipper tone in his voice gone now. “As a matter of fact, Mike was just letting us know she was bringing some Cameron person with her, however none of us know who that is” he said as he looked over at Mike once more, bitterness in his tone and a great deal of anger in his eyes. “Weren’t you Mike?” he asked.

Quinn looked between Blaine and Kurt before lastly, she looked at Samuel, her eyebrows rising as he spoke. Well, it was no secret that Mercedes untimely breakup left the man bitter, angry, and alone. Among the group of friends there had been plenty rumors but even she had no idea who Cameron was. However, if it were another man of some sorts, she might have lucked up tonight. She almost canceled on them for work sake, but she had to admit no amount of money would be worth missing this.

Mike looked over at Samuel, sighing a bit to himself as the man spoke. “I never said that” he told him his head hanging low “I didn’t say she was bringing him here” he corrected. “And he’s not a boyfriend of hers, she doesn’t have one” he said before he looked up at Kurt from across the table.

Kurt swallowed hard as Samuel pressed Mike to speak up and the man finally did. Kurt kept his eyes low after he swapped a glance with Mike and he focused on his glass sitting above the wooden table.

Artie looked at Samuel, then Mike, his eyes moved to the rest of the table as everyone stayed silent for a while.

“Then who the hell is Cameron?” Samuel asked the man, his eyebrows stitched together.

Quinn looked at Mike as he spoke, and she followed his eyes over to Kurt. As it was made clear that Cameron was not Mercedes significant other it then and only then dawned on her who this person could be. Her eyes quickly shot towards Kurt again. “Did you guys order?” she said quickly trying to change the subject once more and she finally picked up her menu.

“Hello, hello, hello everybody” Rachel said as she Tina and Mercedes walked up towards the massive table. “I cannot believe you guys successfully put together some kind of reunion without my help and expertise” she teased them all as she moved to sit down beside Blaine. Offering Jake a kind pat on the shoulder.

“What did we walk in on?” Tina asked sitting down beside Mike at the table and she pushed out the chair beside her a bit for Mercedes to nestle between her and Artie.

Mercedes smiled despite herself, she was well aware that today’s events had two possible ways of ending. On a good foot or perhaps a bad, depending. She hadn’t been in the same room as Samuel since she departed from him to leave for LA. It was her fault that happened to have panned out that way, she knew. But it was didn’t make it any less awkward when you really thought about the reasoning behind her doing so in the first place. She moved for the seat next to Tina it was the only free chair anyway and looked at everyone with a smile deciding not to glance in Samuel’s direction.

Quinn looked at the other girls as they came in one after the other and she sighed heavily, welp, when you speak of the devil, he shall appear she thought to herself. “You guys look good” she said taking them all in, but truly examining Mercedes from head to toe as if that would give her a real inkling to what was going on. But it didn’t especially considering the girl did have a massive coat on. Even if she didn’t you couldn’t look at her and tell she ever had a baby, or could you?

Artie leaned towards Mercedes gently and said “I missed you” with a slight hug assuming they were all going to drop the conversation from beforehand once again. Which was probably for the best anyhow.

As the rest of the group finally joined them Kurt looked towards them and smiled, it really was great to see everyone despite what was currently being examined. He looked over at Samuel, after Tina made yet a very leading question that he truly hoped didn’t cause the blonde to have yet another unnecessary meltdown. “The waitress should be back any minute with starters and, Mike’s drink, we could all like order or something” he chuckled awkwardly.

Samuel watched Rachel as she walked into view, and then Tina thereafter. Mercedes was behind the shorter girl and he looked away, focusing on the table before him and he found that piece of paper again. He toyed with the paper as he did before, rolling it against the tabletop as he fell silent, allowing the group to talk among themselves.

Tina nodded her head at Kurt and said “cool” before she turned to Mike, bumping him with her shoulder lightly. They weren’t together at the moment, but did that mean they had to be awkward, no. They were planning to just be friends until they figured everything all out with themselves. “I was going to call you for a ride, but you had to go get ‘Cedes” she said in a soft whisper to him.

Mercedes looked to Artie and smirked at him sweetly leaning into the man. “I missed you more” she breathed sweetly to him.

The server returned to the group seeing that everyone who should be there was finally there, she sat the root beer in front of the gentlemen who ordered it. She quickly sat the starters in the middle of the table one at a time before she lowered the tray in her hand. “Hi ladies, what can I get you all to drink?” she asked, she sat the tray aside and moved to grab her pad and pen again.

Looking up at the woman, Mercedes she shifted and said to her “water please?” without thought.

Seeing the appetizers, she smirked “water with lemon” Rachel said to the woman before she actually turned her attention to the menu before her to figure out what she wanted for dinner.

“Coke for me” Tina said lifting one finger up for the woman to see as she wrote down the drink orders.

“Sweet tea, please” Quinn said to the waitress, looking at Samuel who sat next to her, finally since Mercedes walked in. She looked at him for only a moment before she looked away again.

“Can I have a coke too?” Brittany asked the woman, the last to order within the group before she grabbed an onion ring and popped it into her mouth. “Two waters one with a lemon, two cokes, and a sweet tea” the young woman repeated back to the table before she said, “are we ordering now too, or do we need some more time?” curiously. When collectively they all asked to have some more time, she nodded and left the group to grab their drinks.

“So, Mercedes, what have you been up to?” Jake asked curiously, despite the early conversation he always though it was pretty cool she got out of Ohio and moved all the way to LA. “I mean what is LA really like?” he asked her as he grabbed a mozzarella stick.

Quinn looked over at Jake with a bit of disappointment. They were all deflecting here, and he was obviously not on board with everyone because he just opened another door or window, depends on who you asked.

Mercedes pulled her eyes and attention away from Brittany and Artie, “uh” she paused smirking at Jake. “I have been great; I have no complaints whatsoever” she told the boy. “LA is” she said trying to think very hard on her answer “sometimes it’s everything I pictured and not so much during other times, but I could have never asked for a better opportunity” she told him. “Life throws tons of surprises and I try to handle, well uh take it in strides” she breathed.

Samuel looked up as Mercedes spoke and he squinted his eyes a bit before he looked away from her. “Care to elaborate for us small town folk?” he asked her sarcastically.

Mercedes slowly looked towards Samuel across from her and she furrowed her brows.

“Now Sam” Rachel said from the left of him, she gave the man an all well knowing look. He didn’t need to make a scene right now; they were here to have a good time.

“Now Rachel” Samuel said as he looked over at her “I asked her question let her answer” he said back to the brunette, who he had no trouble leaning forward to gaze it from across Blaine and Kurt.

“Sam, we are here to have a small gathering to catch up. Are you sure you want to do this?” Kurt asked the man leaning in a bit. The two men was sitting directly next to each other, in another world Kurt would’ve probably slapped him. However, his personality didn’t allow him to inflict someone with such violence. But the blonde was really becoming annoying and all around excessive.

“Yes, I want to do this” Samuel snapped as he looked at Kurt. “Why not do it?” he shrugged, a small chuckle leaving him. “Why not do this right here and right now…”

Mike licked his lips and looked around the table before he sighed and said “Mercedes, I slipped up about Cameron. But Samuel doesn’t quite know who that is…. still….” He said quietly.

Mercedes looked past Tina and at Mike, her eyes large and confused. How could the man have let that slip? He’d kept the secret for this long of course today he lets the cat out of the bag. She couldn’t be mad at him of course, any of them keeping the secret was doing her a favor everyday of their lives. But what was she supposed to say or do right now?

“I think we all should maybe let Samuel and Mercedes talk” Kurt said looking around the table.

“No, let her say what she has to say right here in front of everyone” Samuel said to Kurt. “I think to many of you have been talking among yourselves this whole time anyway.”

Mercedes blinked a few times and she looked at Samuel “okay” she said simply to him. “I ended our relationship, against my better judgement because I was trying to keep a secret from you that I thought would be very detrimental to our lives and relationship” she offered him. “We have a one-year-old son, his name is Cameron” she said. “And before you get angry, I was just trying to do what I thought was best for all of us…”

Samuel looked at Mercedes as she spoke, she really had put a very cute spin on breaking his heart and he couldn’t believe that was the story she was going with. They were fine when she left, everything was perfect outside of the distance. And then a few months into her moving to LA she hit him with the words he’d never imagined leaving her lips. A breakup was what it was, a breakup that was not mutual among them both, that she didn’t even give a good enough reasoning as to why for. And now after all this time he finally gets his real reason, and it was because she was pregnant? With their child. His son? And she didn’t tell him because she thought that was what was best for them both? “Wow” was the only thing his lips could form in the moment as he moved to stand up from the chair, he was in. “You are despicable” he said his finger gesturing in her direction “and any of you at this table who knew this shit and didn’t say anything can rot in hell along with Mercedes” he said coldly as he left the table and the group.

Mercedes looked at Samuel as he spoke, she looked down, she didn’t know what to say. As he continued, she looked back up her eyes watering a little from his harsh words. She couldn’t blame him, what were she to expect from telling him this? When he stormed off, she looked back down again as the embarrassment set in.

“I sorry Mercedes” Kurt said from across the table as, his eyes left her and looked towards Samuel as he moved through the restaurant to leave.

Rachel walked up towards the Evans’ home with her purse in hand and she rang the doorbell gently waiting for someone to surface.

“I have it” Samuel said as he moved for the front door slowly, he looked outside and saw Rachel and he huffed. Unlocking the front door, he looked at her and said “I don’t want you over here so it’s in your best interest to leave” without even thinking, his finger pointing towards her car.

“Look, I don’t want to come into your home, I don’t want you to forgive me if you don’t want to, you don’t even have to listen. But I am going to say what I have to say to you face to face” Rachel told Samuel. “Some of us knew, we didn’t all agree. But we understood and as friends and family we supported her. We supported each party the best way we knew how during this time” she told him. “I am sorry that a secret that big was kept from you for the two years. And I really can’t imagine how you must really be feeling right now” she said her eyes low. “But I say that for you, not her, you. It would be best if you hear her out and at least demand to see your son” she said to him. “She’s owes you that much, and I know that is what you’d want to do right now” she told him simply. “We don’t always do the right things, none of us are perfect. But we deserve the right to make it better if we can” she sighed. “That’s it” she said quickly as she tossed her hand up at him, moving to turn around and leave the front porch of the man’s home headed for her car.

Samuel listened as the woman spoke and he squinted at her slightly, didn’t she know he had every right to close the door in her face if he really wanted to do so right now. It would be that simple. He didn’t want to hear anything from Rachel, she wasn’t the one that owed him an explanation or apology. However, he listened to her, every word even if he didn’t want to. He licked his lips slowly and watched her as she departed from his presence “Rachel!” he called out to her. “Rachel” he repeated even as she kept walking.

Rachel ignored the man as she unlocked the car door and climbed inside to leave. She had said what was needed to say to the man and she didn’t plan on speaking on the subject further. It was between the both of them now, she felt compelled to say what she needed in regard to the part she played in it but that would be it. She couldn’t give him any more details, that he had to seek for himself from Mercedes own mouth.

Hearing a knock at her parents’ door Mercedes squinted slightly, who could it have been she didn’t know. “Stay right here” she told Cameron with a stern finger as she moved to walk out of the living room and towards the front door. She looked to see who was on the other side of the door before she opened it “Sam?” she breathed as she looked up at the man.

Samuel stood before the Jones’ front door with his hands in his pants pockets, he waited for someone to answer and when Mercedes did, he looked at her. “Hi” he breathed he didn’t know what else to say. He hadn’t thought this far ahead and now that he was here, he was conflicted. He wanted to curse her out no doubt but now as he stared into her brown eyes he couldn’t. “Look, I am pissed at you, I am so damn pissed at you, I can’t even think straight!” he said voice booming. “I can’t believe you had the nerve to end things with me, and because of a baby?” he asked her. “I would have given anything to be there, to help, to experience that with you! How could you be so got damn selfish?” he asked her seriously. “I loved you” he told her “I love you” he corrected “how could you do that to me Mercedes?” he said.

Mercedes waited for something to be said and he said ‘hi’ to her, which was a shocker considering. Before she could even get her own greeting out to him, he said what he felt deep down inside from the events that happened from the day before. She looked down unable to say anything at first, she knew she was wrong, and she didn’t really have an excuse for it at all. He was right, he was in love with her as she were with him and it was inconceivable that she did break it off with him and justifiably so. A child had not ruined everything but in her mind it would have. He believed in her, believed she would go off and make him proud. A baby was not a part of the deal, but it had not been a deal breaker. And perhaps it was her own immaturity that did not notice that until now. “Sam” she said softly, blinking gently as her eyes watered, tears filling it. “I didn’t want to let you down” she said blinking heavy tears, allowing them to fall as she looked up at him.

“Well, you ended up doing far more than that, you do realize that?” he asked her. “Keeping my son from me, was a bigger let down then the entire situation and all of its layers combined” he breathed. Samuel folded his arms over his chest as he looked at her still in disbelief a little.

Mercedes tucked her lips inward as she sniffled, her hand wiped away a few tears. Nodding her head at him she agreed with his statement, “I get that now, yes,” she breathed. “I don’t know” she shrugged a little, a bit of a cry leaving her lips after she did. “I didn’t say anything, and then he was here. And I just didn’t know what to say after that” she added. “I was confused, embarrassed” she listed. “It was stupid, and I am truly sorry Samuel. I did not mean for this too grow into all of this” she stressed. “I just didn’t know what to say, or how to even say it when I did find the words” she swallowed hard. “I never tended to hurt you, with any of this. The breakup or with keeping him as a secret from you” she said looking into his eyes.

Samuel listened to her, he continued to stand there with his arms crossed over his chest. In his heart of hearts, he didn’t feel she were lying about a single thing. Though his brain throbbed as he tried to understand what the hell possessed her. Even now, the move was one he could not have pictured her making. Not her out of all people in the World, it didn’t fit. He nodded his head back at her and he said “is he here? Can I see him?”

Mercedes watched him and she sniffled again, wiping more tears from her face. She dried the tears that rested under her chin with the back of her hand before she nodded her head. “Yes, of course” she nodded as she moved to allow him into her parent’s home. Opening the door wider from him she sniffled once more as she waited for him to walk in and once, he did, she closed the door behind him and locked it. “He’s in here” she said as she moved to walk through the home towards the living room where Cameron stood eating cheerios from a kid sized bowl while watching Blue’s Clues idly.

Samuel nodded his head and he moved into the large home; it was as he remembered it. Always neat, clean, and in decent order every time. He didn’t know why but in the moment all of the anger he had melted away. Not because he was understanding of the situation at this time but because it had been replaced with nervousness. He didn’t see fatherhood greeting him for at least another few years and now he was being thrown in it full speed, in a very instance. And he didn’t know what to think or how to feel about that, what if he wasn’t good at it? Despite that the boy didn’t even know him. As he followed Mercedes into the living room, he took the boy in, though it was only from behind he could tell how ridiculously adorable he was.

“Cameron” Mercedes said sliding her hands in her back pockets as she watched him. “Someone is here to see you” she said to him softly. She watched the boy turn around, his hazel eyes moving from her to the taller man next to her and back to her familiar face. “Mama” he said in response back to her before he turned back to the bowl and placed another cheerio into his mouth chewing lightly. He turned back around before he moved to walk away from the bowl and towards his toy car. Mercedes stepped towards the child and hoisted him up into her arms pecking his cheek lightly moving closer to Samuel.

Samuel watched the little boy as he turned around, his full head of curls bouncing lightly as he looked between her and him then back to her cutely. He smirked a little, he looked like the perfect mix of them both, it was astonishing. The little boy continued his snack eating and playtime, ignoring them both until Mercedes moved to go pick him up walking over towards him “hey” he said waving at the little boy awkwardly.

Mercedes looked at Cameron and then grabbed the toy car that was stealing all of his attention, holding it in her hand and at her side. “Say hey” she said as she looked at him, he cowered in front of the tall man sticking his hands into his mouth as he looked at him. He pulled his hands down eventually and said “hey” before he rested his head on his mother’s shoulder shifting in her arms gently. “Cameron” she said softly as she shifted him in her arms again “this is your daddy” she said pointing to Samuel with the same hand the car was is.

Samuel watched the kid placing his hands in his pockets gently as she tried to get the little boy to interact with him. When the child finally did talk and then moved to hide himself away from Samuel he smirked. When she told the boy who he was he looked at her then at the little boy. He risked the chance and held his hands out for the boy, he could or could not come. What would it hurt?

Cameron watched Samuel and he looked at his mother before he leaned into the man and allowed him to hold him as well. He looked at the side of the man’s face, blinking a few times before he looked at his mother and then back at Samuel. Mercedes sat the car down on the couch and looked at Cameron again “daddy” she said pointing to Samuel again.

Samuel and the little boy glanced back and forth at each other, when he looked at his mother again Sam adjusted him in his arms. He hugged the boy to his chest gently closing his eyes as he basked in it for a moment or two. He opened his eyes again and he looked at the little boy who had his fingers in his mouth once more eyeing him.

Mercedes sat on the edge of the couch watching Samuel, she picked Cameron’s car up in her hand and she toyed with it for a moment. She looked between them both and the toy car a few times as the man got acquainted with his son for the first time.

Samuel moved towards the couch with the child in his arms and he sat down with him. Shifting the child in his lap he looked at Mercedes “how is it possible to be in love with someone you just met for the first time?” he asked her seriously.

Mercedes shifted on the couch and looked at Samuel, a smirking forming on her lips and she spoke. “I don’t know” quietly “it just happens, I can’t explain it” she said with a small chuckle as she looked at the child. “He looks just like you” she commented as she looked down.

Samuel looked at her and then back to their son, he hugged the boy close who was now stretched out across him watching tv again. He was a little more comfortable with him he guessed, and he relaxed himself on the couch. He looked back at her and smirked “no, he looks like you” he told her. He looked back at the little boy, he couldn’t believe one night filled with love and adoration for each other could create such perfection, but not only that night however perfection that would last them both a lifetime. “I can’t be mad at you” he told her seriously as he moved his hand to hers, grabbing it in his and holding it gently. “But I really wish I could have been there” he said sadly “he’s so perfect, I can’t imagine what it would have been like to see him when he was first born” he sighed.

Mercedes looked at Samuel again placing the boy’s car aside, as he grabbed her hand, she allowed him to. It was comforting receiving any kind of touch from him even after all of this time. At his words she looked at Cameron and then pulled her bottom into her mouth biting down on it hard. She didn’t say anything in response to him, there was plenty of photos, videos, and things she could show him, and she would in the future. She knew she owed him that and needed to make sure it was something that she did out of respect for him. “Despite how it panned out, I am glad that you finally got to meet him. And that you can now be a part of his life.”

Nodding his head at her, he said “thank you” quietly. “Especially for him, you could have done something totally different, but you didn’t. Thank you for that” Samuel said sensibly as he looked her in her eyes.

“The thought never crossed my mind” Mercedes replied back to him seriously, looking into his eyes once more.

#Samcedes fanfiction #samcedes rp #tag: one shots.#tag: prompts.#tag: os - everything works out in the end.

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dustedmagazine · 6 years

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Listed: Leverage Models

Leverage Models started as the latest project from Shannon Fields (late of the much-missed New York collective Stars Like Fleas, and who’s also worked with everyone from Helado Negro to Rhys Chatham, JOBS to The Silent League). After 2013’s highly-praised self-titled debut on Hometapes, Fields wound up assembling a touring band that would wind up making Leverage Models’ newly-released sophomore record Whites(which, for reasons both personal and political, was made in 2015 but is being released now, partly as a fundraiser for the Southern Poverty Law Center). Joined by singer Alena Spanger (of Tiny Hazard) and all three members of the very powerful trio JOBS, among others, in their own words "Leverage Models makes pop songs about transubstantiation, ritual abuse, political apathy, divorce, white collar criminals, poverty, white liberal guilt, anxiety, & self-harm. With roto-toms." In his review, Dusted’s Ian Mathers says about Whites, "Musically, this album would be just as impressive if it had come out in early 2016, but back then maybe more people would assume the high-stakes intensity of the songs here were worrying too much. Sadly, the subsequent time has only shown again and again how appropriate that aspect of Leverage Models’ work really is." For Listed, Fields and Spanger provided a list of current inspirations and overlooked art pop.

Alena’s Current Inspirations

Life Without Buildings—"The Leanover"

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The way that this singer, Sue Tompkins, approaches melody and lyric is hypnotizing to me. I love how she continues to repeat words—almost slogans—and alter their pronunciation until they seem to lose their original meanings and become more about the sound of the words. I typically wouldn't love the 90's alt rock aesthetic, but the steady, unobtrusive accompaniment provides the space needed for her vocals to live in.

Francis Bebey—"Pygmy Love Song"

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I've been incessantly listening to Francis Bebey for months now. He seems to lean into the rawness and outer edges of what the voice can do. I love the way he mimics the bamboo flute with his voice on this song.

Lizzy Mercier Decloux—"No Golden Throat"

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I sometimes feel like I need to shake off everything I learned from years of studying music and get to back to a more fundamental, raw approach. Lizzy is one of those untrained inspirations for me. She barely knew how to play the guitar and started singing not long before this album came out. This resulted in such adventurous, unselfconscious music. She is at once playful, unbridled, and searingly direct. She wasn't really respected in the NY scene when this record came out, and was by some seen as an imposter, reliant on her male collaborators to hoist her up. After digging deeper into her music, it's obvious that she possessed great artistic autonomy and vision and her lack of recognition was a result of unfortunate industry circumstances and sexism. The lyrics in this song are her response to the pressures that's she experienced to sing more conventionally.

Lonnie Holley—"Here I Stand Knocking at Your Door"

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I saw Lonnie Holley play in NY recently and was so moved by the freedom with which he sings and the purity and untouched quality of his music. Every aspect of his performance- down to the smallest movements of his body were connected to the sound and channeling into one cohesive and beautiful statement. He is one of those rare, singular artists, who seems to make art out of everything he touches.

Brigitte Fontaine—"Moi Aussi"

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She is such a badass. I love the simplicity of using just a drum as accompaniment. In this song, she's singing with her partner at the time, a French/Algerian musician, Areski Belkacem who brought some traditional folkloric sensibilities to their music. The effortless blending of theater and music is something I really strive for in my own work.

Shannon

I needed to give myself a theme so I decided to select some of what I think are overlooked vintage art-pop coming out of the post-punk 80s into the and slick new-agey, ‘world music’ appropriating 90s. I’m completely taken in by that era of experimentation and production right now, though I can’t say why. I find myself drawn most to the songs that effortlessly stumble into choices I don’t always understand. They don’t seem like they’re out to destroy any genre conventions so much as they seem blissfully ignorant of them. Certain moments shock me as to how much more relevant and contemporary the MIDI/electronic, experimental and arty music is as compared to the 60s & 70s guitar-based music that’s ruled for so long (and which has nothing at all to offer a lot of younger musicians I talk to these days). I could have easily made this list 20. This was hard.

Che—I ‎(Narcotic, 1987)

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What a confusing record. Half of it is very eccentric, slightly woozy funk. With the subtlety-obliterating rhythm section of Art of Noise or later New Jack rhythms, cock-rock guitars, and these drunken almost a-melodic passages. The ending of Scream Like A Swiftcould be a codeine-fuelled pass at Jensen Sportag’s contemporary hyper-MIDI, vapor-wave smooth-jazz. Moving The Silencesounds like The Blue Nile but with the kind of ironic detachment (think Arto Lindsay & Ambitious Lovers) that leaves you creeped out and confused rather than crying in your drink. And while I’m a bit black-hearted and prefercrying in my drink, I’m also completely transfixed by this. This song, Jerusalem,just kind of takes my breath away with something entirely unfamiliar: built from slabs of goth and pure Peter-Gabriel world-cheese, it somehow alchemizes into something I have never heard. A whole album of this and I’d have it on repeat with Scott Walker’s Climate of Hunter(which also belongs on this list and is one of the best ‘confuse-core’ records ever made).

Akira Inoue—サファリ・オスティナート (Splash, 1983)

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I’ve seen this song title translated as "Safari Ostinato". I know very little about this person or this album. Somebody help me. It’s the kind of album that repels and compels alternately. It gives you whiplash in the gentlest, most covert way. It’s a sort of adult contemporary, New Wave, jazz fusion MIDI album and this song is both beautiful and bonkers. The whole album is. I wonder if Dutch Uncles have heard this album. I could draw a line from here to there.

Andréa Daltro—Kiuá (Kiuá, 1988)

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Released by the amazing Dutch reissue label Music From Memory. Originally released on Estudio De Invencoes in 1988. Andre Daltro was a singer and the song was, I believe, originally recorded with the band Brazilian "spiritual jazz band" Sexteto do Beco in 1980. But this version trades organicism and chops for drum machine, keys, MIDI sounds, and rattling ambient chatter, both acoustic and synthetic, and it’s like nothing you’ve ever heard…it rivals Arca’s new s/t album for this kind of strange, winsome cyber bel canto transmission from an alien jungle, though far less brooding, no less arresting.

Jane Siberry—Lena is a White Table (The Walking, 1987)

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I knew Jane Siberry later hits and didn’t much care for them. I knew she worked with both Hector Zazou and Barney the Purple Dinosaur. I was not prepared when I first heard this album, The Walking. I believe when she was first signed the industry thought of her as the "new Kate Bush" and wanted to cash in on the mass tolerance for ‘art-rock’ a-la Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush. But The Walkingis to Hounds of Loveas The Blue Nile’s Walk Across The Rooftops is to Laughing Stock’s Spirit of Eden. I love all of the above, but what Siberry and The Blue Nile share in this example is the same kind of epic freedom and reach but a sort of fragility and limitation and ramshackle, almost amateurish quality that make them really humane and relatable to me. The first time I heard this song I confess that my first thought was how much it reminded me of Alena’s old band, Tiny Hazard, who were one of my favorite bands in Brooklyn. I know it seems silly to say it, but somehow this track feels so much less ‘theatrical’ then the same era of Kate Bush…more interior. It feels like a very intimate experience to listen, to the point that I find myself feeling embarrassed for listening in.

Gary Numan—Cry, The Clock Said (Dance, 1981)

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I hesitated to use one of my choices on an artist I feel like everybody knows. But I almost never meet anyone who really knows THIS album (and I know because I push it on everyone). If you only know the playful, cold cyber-punk of the first couple of Gary Numan/Tubeway Army records (which are, to be clear, brilliant, and a big influence on me) you really need to hear this album. At its most extreme corners (of which this song is one) I don’t know anything like it. Gary Numan’s great magic trick, the one I endlessly faun over, is how his disaffected, conventionally ugly, robot voice transforms into something heartbreaking and relatable by the time it reaches my heart (especially on Telekon’s piano-based tracks). I know that’s a cheesy thing to say but fuck you, I need sentiment these days. Anyway, nowhere is it more the case than in this songs arrangement. Musically, it feels entirely alien and also entirely familiar, with Japan’s Mick Karn barely there alongside what sound like Casiotone boss nova beats and the most heartbreaking little chiming synth arpeggio that come and go like a kitten that wakes up momentarily from its drug-induced nap. It’s 10 minutes long. I’ve had it on loop for hours without getting tired of it. I’ve wanted to make something like this for a long time now. Some day I’ll have this kind of restraint.

#11 Bonus Track!

Né Ladeiras—Cruz (Corsária, 1988)

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I also know next to nothing about this Brazilian album, dedicated to Greta Garbo. I read that it was produced and arranged by Luís Cília ,who wrote a song that became a sort of second anthem for the Portuguese Communist Party. The MIDI harps sitting matter-of-factly on top of those plate-reverbed guiro, clave, bells…I want to live inside the room they build. And it’s a lovely, airy progression that never grows tiresome as it modulates in a drifting-down-the-stream sort of way. The ending lifts so high with barely a shrug’s worth of effort. Gorgeous.

#dusted magazine #listed #leverage models #shannon fields #alena spanger #life without buildings #francis bebey #lizzy mercier decloux #lonnie holley #brigitte fontaine #che #akira inoue #Andréa Daltro #jane siberry #gary numan #né ladeiras

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frederator-studios · 7 years

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Meet Kate Tsang and Jennifer Cho Suhr, Creators of “Welcome to Doozy”

Kate and Jennifer are award-winning, multidimensional filmmakers who bonded over being the food table hoverers at networking events. Others may schmooze; Kate + Jen sandwich. Their passion for food - and for their friendship - shines through in their short “Welcome to Doozy,” our 6th GO! Cartoon. I sat down with these very impressive ladies to discuss the bureaucracy behind imaginary friends, the importance of representation, and karaoke tea-time.

Sooo, how’d you two meet? Kate: We met in film school at NYU, where we were in the same Masters program. Jen: Kate took classes in animation - but I have no animation background, and, sadly, can barely draw...

What brought you together as collaborators? Jen: We were paired in the same production group our first week of school, and became good friends. Kate: We’ve since collaborated on each other’s class exercises, thesis films, and various arty things.

Partners in movie-making! What brought you to Frederator as a team? Kate: I’ve always had an interest in animation. I love Adventure Time and Bee and PuppyCat. So when Natasha Allegri posted on her blog about GO! Cartoons, I told Jen we should ‘go’ for it. Jen: We had - still have! - the concept for a full series prepared, so we actually pitched the show bible first and then reverse-engineered that into the short.

How did “Doozy” change throughout your development process? Jen: A lot, actually. Lou is a Kitsune fox demon now - she started out as an eyeball with cowboy boots! But the concept was always 2 girlfriends, a la Broad City, having misadventures. Kate: A little origin story: Ex (who has always been a rabbit) recently retired from being an imaginary friend. The Bureau of Imaginary Friends handles the re-adjustment of retired IF’s back into the imaginary world. So this is the story of Ex re-assimilating: finding a roommate in Lou, getting a job, and developing a crush on her coworker Skeletim. Jen: Skeletim stayed really consistent since the pitch - Eric (Homan, our VP of Development) always really liked him. We joke that Eric only stuck with us because of Skeletim.

How much are Ex and Lou based on you two, and who’s who? Kate: It’s a bit of a mix… Jen: But I’d say I’m more Ex, almost by default - just because Kate is so much more like Lou. Kate: I AM the mischievous one. Jen: And I’m the more... straight-laced one? I guess that’s the way to put it. Although! Kate is the one who does martial arts, like Ex.

What themes recur in your work? Kate: There’s always hopefulness in mine. I’m interested in outsiders, and finding whimsy and humor, even when things look bleak. I enjoy working in mediums where I can create wonderment. Like right now: I’m learning magic! Jen: I care a lot about representation and grounding stories in the realities of human relationships. The feature film that I’m developing now is inspired by my relationship with my sister. And with “Doozy”: it’s very specific to Kate and my identities as Asian Americans. Kate: Like incorporating the bento box, and the influence of Japanese anime and manga, of which we’re both fans. We were definitely inspired by Hayao Miyazaki’s way with food.

❀ A happy lil side note: one of the most popular Youtube comments on the short reads ‘A lot of people won’t know what a bento is but thanks to you, now they do!’ ❀

Jen: And we were conscious of the fact that most buddy comedies are about male friendships. We wanted to show girls being silly together and represent female friendship as it really is. Kate: That’s why Broad City was such an inspiration and even a motivator for “Doozy”. We were like ‘Ok, people do want to watch this.’

I read recently that Broad City’s viewership is split almost evenly male/female - it’s actually something like 55/45, with more men watching than women. Kate: What? That’s awesome. Jen: It just goes to show that it all comes down to good comedy and strong characters. I’m actually about to have a baby boy which has made me think about the types of stories that I’ll read to him as he grows up. I’ve been thinking of some of my favorite YA books with female protagonists like Anne of Green Gables and A Wrinkle in Time… it’s important to me that he’s able to identify and empathize with female characters. The only reason that boys “wouldn’t be able to” as people say, is if they learn socially that they shouldn’t.

What are some cool things we’ll get to see if “Welcome to Doozy” gets a series? Jen: Well, let’s just say there are some nefarious happenings in Ex’s office…

Gasp! Not Mrs. Hugs! Kate: Nah, not Mrs. Hugs. She’s a true office drone, doesn’t know what’s really up. Jen: We’d also backtrack, to show how Ex and Lou came to be friends and roommates. Kate: And we’d get to introduce their pet popsicle, who lives in the freezer. Jen: And we’d get to see Lou working her job at a run-down mini golf course. She schemes and ~magics~ to keep it afloat. Kate: There’s an underlying mystery, and it’d be a lot of them screwing up while trying to investigate it.

What sorta stuff do you guys like to do together - any wild adventures? Kate: Actually, yes. We try to take a road trip together every year. So far we’ve done the Badlands, the Southwest, the Midwest, the South and New Orleans. Jen: Admittedly, the Midwest was probably the most boring… not to knock where I’m from. But here’s a story: when we were in Nashville - the biggest music town - we quickly realized that karaoke is different there and that everyone getting onstage was a pro or semi-pro country singer. And then Kate got up - Kate: I didn’t know any better. Jen: And sang an Amy Winehouse/Mark Ronson cover amid all this country music. Truly the new kids in town. And the audience TOTALLY ate it up! They loved it. Kate: We karaoke together a lot. Sometimes we rent a room for just the two of us… during the middle of the day… one might call us enthusiasts.

What cartoons do you guys like? Jen: Well, Kate and I have wildly different tastes. But we both love Adventure Time and Rick and Morty. Kate: And we share 90s cartoons, like Dexter’s Lab, Daria, and Invader Zim - Jen: But Kate likes things like Ren & Stimpy - which is too grotesque for me…

What about your favorite Studio Ghibli film? Jen: Spirited Away. Kate: My Neighbor Totoro.

Last up: what are you working on now, and what’s your favorite thing you’ve made in the past? Kate: Favorite film I’ve made is “So You’ve Grown Attached” - “Doozy” inherited elements from it, like the imaginary friends, and the name ‘Ex’. Jen: I’m really focused on getting my feature financed right now, which we want to shoot this summer.

Oo-ooh! What’s it about, and who’s the star? Jen: The film is called You and Me Both and we have Constance Wu from Fresh Off the Boat as one of the stars (me = !!). It’s a drama with comedic notes about two sisters, one a struggling heroin addict, who take a road trip to find their birth mother. While it touches on some heavy topics like loss and addiction, it’s ultimately a love story between sisters… so if anyone is looking to finance a film, hit me up! As far as favorite work… I don’t know… Kate: What about “Saeng-Il”? (“Birthday” in Korean) Jen: Okay, “Saeng-Il” then.

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And Kate, what are you working on?

Kate: Eeeerrrrrr…. Jen: C’mon! Your feature! Kate: Okay, yeah, I’m working on a feature too. It’s a drama-comedy about a teen delinquent who teams up with a struggling party magician to battle her inner demons, strained home life, and avoid reform school. If anyone happens to know anyone who knows Catherine O’Hara - I’ve got a part for her.

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You heard it here first, folks. Let’s snag financing for “You and Me Both” and Catherine O’Hara as Kate’s lead.

Thanks for taking the time, Kate and Jen! Great chatting with you, and best of luck on all of your projects. Can’t wait to see ‘em on the big screen (and also, little screens).

- Cooper

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aknightawayfromhome · 8 years

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Hey everyone, it’s been a while...

First off, I wanna say I’m sorry. :(

Sorry for all those times where it seemed like I would come back but didn’t. Sorry for the posts I said I would do, but didn’t, and sorry for what I’m about to do.

From now on, this blog is on permanent hiatus.

For those of you wondering why I’m doing this, the most simple answer I can come up with is: I got tired of drawing ponies for a story. Now that doesn’t mean that I hate them or anything, it’s just the stress of coming up with the poses/positions for each update, coupled with making the dialogue wore me down, and turned me off of them.

It really does hurt me to do this because I had a huge epic journey filled with many characters and amazing locations planned out, but lack of willpower and motivation ultimately caused the downfall.

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Second off, all the characters that would have been in my story, and Arty, will be moved to my mod blog!

Which can be found here! --> http://askjustalio.tumblr.com/

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Third off, I have made a new blog! Sadly though, it’s not pony related (though they can interact with them). It’s a blog based on my robot characters!

These two! (and Aliobot, but nobody cares about him.) And this blog can be found over here! --> https://ask-arthur-and-friends.tumblr.com/

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Lastly, I will keep this blog up, y’know, as an archive of what could have been.

Also! Feel free to unfollow me if you want, I can’t stop you.

I’ll probably reblog this tomorrow as a final reminder.

But that will be all. It’s been fun while it lasted, good bye, and good luck! \o/

- Just Alio

#my final post #I'm sorry everyone :(#you all knew this would happen eventually

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jadesmithillustration5-blog · 8 years

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Interview with Jenni Desmond

Jenni very kindly agreed to let us interview her and answered questions about how she started out as an illustrator, her work process, her most well known books, how commissions work and other general arty things that we were interested in finding out. With her in depth answers she really helped to inform me about the children’s book and illustration industries which I'm sure will help me in developing my own career.

You do a lot of workshops with primary schools. What do you find interesting about working with children? As my books are for children it’s important to engage with my audience! Sometimes they say funny things that make me laugh. When they are enthusiastic about the book or about meeting me and I feel I can inspire them, they remind me why I am doing my job. I would have loved to have had a visiting author when I was little and I think I would have been very inspired by one so I try to remember that. (School trips also pay well!)

For ‘The First Slodge’ you collaborated with Jeanne Willis, as you have done on a few other books. How was it to work with her? Is it similar to editorial illustration? Do you have any influence over the narrative being written? I have no influence on the worded narrative, although I do try to 'write' a lot of extra information into the book with images. I have no engagement with the author. We met on email only a few months ago in fact and I've never met her in person. She seems lovely though. Everything is done through the publisher. When I've done the roughs etc the publisher sends the work to her for the okay.

You’ve won both the 2015 Best Emerging Talent (illustrator) at the Junior Design Awards and the 2016 New York Times Best Illustrated Children’s Book. How did winning each of these awards effect your reputation as an illustrator? Did you receive any commissions as a result? I'm sure it does effect things. It's always hard to tell how people found me etc but in the last year I have definitely become more well known and my job offers have definitely increased!

What is the inspiration for your drawings? Do you use reference images? Do you use your own handwriting for your fonts? I use my own handwriting. I use reference images at the beginning when I am researching an animal character to understand what shape it is. But then I just work from my head so I can insert the character without worrying about the shapes. Inspiration mostly from my personal life and relationships.

Last year, you were awarded the Maurice Sendak Fellowship. How was it? What was it like working alongside fellow illustrators handpicked for this award? WONDERFUL, and we were treated so so well! The farm we stayed at was gorgeous and we had our own houses and studios and lots of engagement with sendak's original artwork and stories about him. The illustrators were lovely and very interesting people. It was nice to have the time to work in my sketchbook on my own stuff, I don't have time to do that these days- drawing is now work! Which is a good thing. Even though it’s a passion, it’s no longer a hobby.

What motivated you to go back and study the Masters in Children’s Book Illustration? What sort of things did you learn? Would you recommend it to anyone wanting to become an illustrator? I didn't do a degree in illustration so felt I needed some training. It was very useful to learn the format of childrens books, learn about illustrators, be exposed to interesting ways of creating books, meet great people, improve my work.

How did you come up with the ideas for your non-fiction books? (The Blue Whale, The Polar Bear…) I was just looking around the internet one day and found some facts about blue whales. I scribbled them down quickly with some sketches and then forgot about them until I showed the publisher, quite absent mindedly really, and she had the vision to turn it into a 4 book series. You never know what nugget of an idea could spark into something, so it’s good to keep sketchbooks and things.

For The Blue Whale, did you adapt an illustration to fit the cover, or did you design it specifically as the cover? I had a vision of what the cover looked like from the start, it was one of the first sketches I did. In the end it’s also the same image as one of the spreads. But I always knew that’s what the cover would look like. (though the boat was a fishing boat at the beginning.)

How have you worked out a balance between producing art and having down time? I used to go out to the pub lots and fill my evenings, now I mostly just work and then go home to chill. I don't work at home. Ever. Baths, cooking, watching films and hanging out with my partner occupy a lot of my down time. I now go swimming every lunchtime which is good for the mind as well as the body.

Of the work that you produce, would you say that picture books are your favourite? Yes. I love that they have a use and are not just images, they are characters, stories, things to hopefully inspire children, and they are also objects. I do love books so it’s an honour to make them.

How do you go about promoting your work and exhibitions? Gah... social media? but I am not very good at it. Mostly my agent does that stuff.

How did you come to be represented by your agency? Do they decide which work you should do? How do their fees effect your commission prices? I was represented by an agency called Bright a few years ago, they picked me up at my grad show. I then moved to Penny Holroyde after being recommended her. It’s important to have the right agent, who you trust, it’s almost like having an extra parent or something, who always has your back and is with you the whole way. She advises me on what I should do. Her main job is to negotiate contracts which are a mine field. She will normally bump the fee up a bit which will normally just about cover her fees (15% plus vat). For me having an agent is essential and wonderful to let me just get on with focussing on my work. You can get a bit screwed over when starting out so do be careful with contracts, and use AOI for any advice on them.

Has it been difficult finding work as a freelance artist? Sometimes. It gets easier the more well known you get. And the better you get! It’s important to keep working, keep improving, keep trying. It’s a pretty tough career to get in to. I sell things on etsy, which can be a good source of income. In general, the pay as an illustrator or picture book maker is a bit crap.

In an interview with playingbythebook.com you said ‘I use music as a tool. I find that it transports me to my imagination.’ How so? I dance around in my head and then draw the characters dancing around too, which gives them lots of movement and life.

What inspired the move to London? Did you need more space than the studio you had in Brighton? I wanted to be in the thick of it I think, and most of my friends were here. I'd gone to uni at sussex so had been in brighton for a while and I had run out of enthusiasm for it a little. The space I can get in Hackney is def smaller than Brighton - hackney studio spaces start at about £180 for a desk so it’s not cheap! I had a nice big space in south London (whirled art studios) when I first moved here and it was dirt cheap, I loved that place. Sadly it’s too far away now. But Hackney Downs is super great.

What has it been like to work with Enchanted Lion Books? What happens under a multiple book series deal like you have with them? Wonderful, it’s a small publisher, pretty much a one woman band, and she is incredibly talented and bright and creative and she pushes me hard with her expectations and perfectionist ways. She's fantastic. A multiple book deal basically just means that once I've finished one then it’s on to the next. It’s nice to have the security of knowing you've got more work. The contract will be the same financially across all four books.

Do you find that thumbnails are particularly helpful in figuring out how a book will flow? Thumbnails used to drive me nuts and I thought they were the most pointless thing ever. I've become more patient now though, and yes I now think they're helpful to work out the flow. I am still inclined to draw the whole thing out bigger though, as I like to see what’s going on and then ideas can flow from things you weren't expecting.

It took you about two years to make The Blue Whale, is this considered a short or long time? Hmm... about average for writing and illustrating a book. Just illustrating, I could do something in 4 months. That's considered quick. I'm doing one in 3 months at the moment, that's quite stressful.

How is your next non-fiction book about elephants going? I'm not properly starting until summer as I have two books to do first! Argh... I've done most of the research and writing though - elephants are the most incredible creatures. I can't wait to start.

You’ve designed the covers for two albums: The Diver’s Curse – BD Harrington and Standing Pat – The Dixie Traders. Did you get given a specific brief for them? Yes I did actually, they both had specific ideas what they wanted. I find working for private clients a lot more stressful than publishers as they are so keen to get it perfect but aren't quite sure what that perfect they are looking for is. These covers were nice to do though.

Is it a conscious decision to have a fairly limited colour palette within each book? I just don't really like bright colours very much! Except for bright blue and bright red. I just do what I like, and use the colours that I like. It's important to consider each colour that you use and not just use any old shade.

About The Tiger Protector for WWF you’ve said ‘it feels like a really important time to be creating books about endangered animals.’ Is creating work with a purpose and meaning significant to you? Yes! I would do it even if I didn't think this though as I love to create art. I have to create art. But it is nice to have that too.

You worked closely with a marine biologist for The Blue Whale. Is making sure the facts are accurate a big part of your work ethic? It's essential when creating non-fiction. I was paranoid about reviewers picking up on something incorrect. Luckily that hasn't happened. We weren’t going to work with one but I realised I was totally out of my depth when the editor kept asking if I was sure certain facts were correct. I am not a biologist and I had no idea. So I asked if we could get one on-board.

How do commissions work? Do you have a lot of freedom over the work you produce? Private commissions? They tend to have a very rigid idea about what they want. When I'm working with publishers we will work together. I have the idea and do all of the backbreaking work, but I will constantly be back and forth with the publisher who will steer it in the right way. It depends on the publisher on how much or little they will do this. I don't really work with any publishers who are too pushy and in general I am left to do my own thing as much as possible. But it is essential to be open to feedback and open to doing changes. You can't get too precious about your work.

When you decided to become an illustrator how did you start getting your name and work heard of? My grad show. My agent. Social media. Sending work out unsolicited. It’s hard starting out. You just have to keep plugging at it and keep producing new work and keep working hard. I was working on my artwork obsessively for years around the time of the MA and after. I found 2 years after I graduated was when I'd started getting into my grove and producing work I was happy with.

What was your first commission, how did you get it? With Folens Publishers, an educational publisher in Ireland. I sent my work to them (and loads of others who declined me) and they gave me some work. I did loads of stuff with them in the end, for French text books.

To find out more about Jenni’s work check out her website: http://www.jennidesmond.com/

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