#This image was made by a partner of the couples who may have been

[the-fandom-is-now-my-life]

I apologize in advance, but the brainworms did a heckin screech and I felt the need to share the chaos.

Imagine, if you will, that our Creator let's it slip that they've interacted with other worlds before reaching Teyvat. (Played other video games) Imagine having to explain that in these other worlds, they may or may not have been interested in the denizens of those realms...sometimes in the romantic sense, which led to wedding bells and/or children.

Cue the uproar from the Genshin cast. The Creator, Blessed Maker of All...you have courted others? Have been married?? You have had children??? Their image of you being pure and untouchable, blown apart into tiny little pieces of confetti. 🎉

Though many loathe to admit it, they are curious...who are these people, what are they like? Is there a common factor in your selection of spouses? You would only pick the very best of a realm to choose as a potential partner, surely another being of creation...or perhaps a demigod?

It leads to the proverbial red string board getting made, the Archons trying to find out who is your most likely pick from their regions. It's all for your safety, your Benevolence! If you insist on having a partner, they must find the perfect match for you! You deserve only the best of the best, after all.

Bonus points if the Creator was a fan of games like the Harvest Moon/Rune Factory series. They're gonna need to make a list of all their partners, there are so many options to choose from. >>_>>

I'll admit I never played any of those games so I skimmed through the harvest moon wiki and chose one of the bachelors and chose some other game characters lol. Plus a game for all of you, guess the characters.

Though I do think that the reader having children before causes a bit of whiplash because it's totally unexpected, mostly because there were no records of you taking spouses or kids, even knowing you ‘have’ (play) other worlds is a surprise that causes a bit of a crisis. Either way here are some head cannons.

“I must admit, your grace is awfully attached to Qiqi” Zhongli hums as he blows on his white tea, a small cloud of steam leaving.

Qiqi doesn't pay him much mind, her head coddled under your chin like a little puppy, between her hands there is a small bird plushie “Well, I must admit she does kind of remind me of one of my little ones” Your hand softly pats her head, a few strands of hair moving as you do.

He stills as you spoke, eyes fixated on his cup “your… little ones?”

“Mhm?” Without looking up from the braid you were giving to the little girl you just nod “yep, she is quite soft spoken like Milenoe”

“... I wasn't aware your grace had sired children” there was never any mentions about holy spawns or spouses taken by you in any manuscript he got his hands on.

“Well, I never chose a couple from this world, so there wouldn't be any descendants” the comment slips airly from your lips as Qiqi slides off your lap towards baizhu who had finished checking the books from your bookshelf. “Do you want to see her? She started elementary school a few weeks ago” without waiting for an answer a screen appears displaying a tall man with black hair and horns standing regally behind you and a child with emerald eyes and horns.

“She looks rather shy”

You hum nodding “she is as shy as her father when he was her age. There aren't many children her age she can play with so she was pretty lonely her first 50 years”

“50 years?”

“her dad is a slow maturing species” so it should be 10 times the life expectancy than humans. Not that long for him but certainly longer than usual.

•°•°•

“It's a wonder to see how you manage to get Klee to change her mind about going fish blasting,” albedo scribbles some data half mindedly as he watches you hover next to Klee, who showed you a new drawings every few minutes “she is so stubborn even with Alice”

“Well I do have experience with headstrong children, Pardine is as focused on her goal as her father” one of your hands fall on her blonde hair, bright but still darker than Pardine’s almost champagne blonde and her red eyes polar opposite to her icy ones, a carbon copy to her dad. Even if your genetics rarely showed up on any of your kids it was uncanny how similar she looked to her dad and aunts “but I will admit she does annoy many guards asking to train her”

Albedo just laughs it off, listing the few loose characteristics of one of her spouses. Venti has been annoying him about his nation almost getting no information so he hopes a few spare tidbits and Klee’s rough drawing of a blond blue eyed man with a big shield works for whatever weird thing the archons have going on.

•°•°•

“Your Grace has married before?!” Ayaka gasps as you take a stroll around the nature surrounding her home. Her hand had swiftly unfolded her fan in front of her face.

“Mhm, I don't know why people get so surprised, after all it would be weirder if I spent so much time somewhere but took no lovers” you laugh at her slightly seeing her slightly flustered “it's almost a tradition at this point, to wed someone from each world. Want to see some family portraits?” She nods fervently looking at the tablet like thing that appeared on your hands, first a white haired cowboy like man is kneeling on the ground holding a baby by the armpits surrounded by three wolves ,seemingly playing with an older child, by the time the next imagine passes Ayaka is almost hanging by your shoulder, asking things about the siblings and begging to see more photos of your babies.

“And who did you take from teyvat?” Ayaka looks up sweetly at you, she has always held you in high regard and now that you are in Inazuma she can't help but get giddy thinking about how you decided to spend the stay in her state and most of your time with her.

Feigning surprise you tap your chin with your index finger “now that I think about it I didn't choose anyone yet... maybe it's about time”

“Then that means you could pick my brother!” She wraps her hand around your own, smiling as if she got the best idea ever “I could even call you older sibling!... If you wanted so of course”

“Big brother you remember how you told me you would find me a proper bachelor”

“If this is about wanting me to rush it won't work”

“It's not about it, I found you someone”

“Fine, as you please, need I remind you my standards are quite high”

“It's their grace!... Why are you choking on your tea!?”

•°•°•

“There isn't one damned coincidence…” Raiden slaps her head against the table with the rough drawings and some information about them “a king, a captain, a cowboy, a damned sorcerer…”

“Maybe there isn't supposed to be a coincidence” Nahida guesses “maybe they just look for someone who catches their eye”

“It doesn't help out as much as you think it does” the tsaritsa crosses her legs and leans against the back of the chair “if we are doing people with very clear characteristics maybe Ajax could fit nicely? Redheads aren't very common”

“Mhm, maybe but don't they have a liking for smart men? Then Alhaitham would be closer to their past couples”

“Well if we are going by that logic they should like the geo archon, as one of them has dragonic features” the tsaritsa side eyes Zhongli from the other side of the table.

Sighing deeply Furina, who came in place of Neuvillette, chimes in “It is their decision who they want to marry and even if they wanted to!”

"obviously you would be so calm, after all they are very close with your iudex. Don't get so cocky, I heard the commissioner Ayato is interested in the idea"

[boujiestpoet]

STARCROSSED

SOCIAL MEDIA/NEWS chapter 1: Appaled

NEXT CHAPTER.

MASTERLIST

Summary: Two people and the rest of the world discover that their partners ain't shit

FACECLAIM: The extraordinary Tems

THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. THE BEHAVIOUR OF THE CHARACTERS DOES NOT REFLECT THE REAL PERSONALITIES OF THE INDIVIDUAL UPON WHOM THEY ARE BASED. I AM MERELY BORROWING THEIR PHYSICAL LIKENESS AND THE PROFESSION THEY HAVE FOR THE SAKE OF THIS NARRATIVE

TW: Cringiness from the writer, grammatical errors (have mercy english is my semi firsr language)

Heartbreak in Hollywood: Renee Bennett’s Devastating Betrayal by Boyfriend Ben Field and Best Friend Leah Dawn

By: Sarah Caldwell | Celebrity Insider

In a shocking twist that has left fans reeling, beloved actress Renee Bennett has found herself at the center of a scandal that could rival any of her on-screen dramas. The star of the upcoming epic “Northern Winds” has been blindsided by the ultimate betrayal—her boyfriend, model Ben Field, and her best friend, influencer Leah Dawn, were caught in a scandalous embrace that no one saw coming.

The Scandal Unfolds: A Shocking Revelation

Renee Bennett, who recently returned from a grueling five-month shoot in Norway, had been looking forward to reuniting with her boyfriend, Ben Field. The couple, who had been dating for nearly two years, were widely regarded as one of the most stable pairs in the industry. But all that came crashing down when Ben and Leah were spotted kissing in New York City, a moment that has sent shockwaves through Hollywood.

Paparazzi captured the scandalous moment late last week, with Ben and Leah sharing a passionate kiss outside an upscale Manhattan restaurant. The photographs, which quickly went viral, have left fans in disbelief and sparked a media frenzy. To make matters worse, Renee had just returned to the U.S., believing she was coming home to her loving boyfriend—only to discover this devastating betrayal.

Best Friend Betrayal: Leah Dawn’s Double Life

What makes this betrayal even more heartbreaking is that Leah Dawn wasn’t just any woman—she was Renee’s closest confidante. The two had been inseparable for years, often seen vacationing together and supporting each other through the ups and downs of fame. Leah, a well-known social media influencer, had built her brand on the image of friendship and loyalty, making this act of treachery all the more shocking.

Leah Dawn was also dating F1 driver Charles Leclerc, a relationship that had its own share of drama. Rumors swirled that Charles was on the verge of proposing to Leah, but according to a recent blind item, his mother was reportedly not in favor of the union. The news of Leah’s infidelity has now thrown that relationship into question, leaving fans to wonder if the engagement is now off the table.

Renee’s Response: Silence Speaks Volumes

Since the scandal broke, Renee Bennett has maintained a dignified silence. Friends of the actress describe her as “heartbroken” and “utterly blindsided” by the betrayal. Renee, who has always been known for her professionalism and grace, is reportedly focusing on her career and taking time to process the situation away from the public eye.

“Renee is devastated,” a close friend revealed. “She never imagined that the two people she trusted most would betray her like this. Right now, she’s just trying to come to terms with what happened and figure out her next steps.”

Where Do They Stand? The Aftermath for All Involved

As for Ben Field and Leah Dawn, neither has made a public statement about the scandal. However, insiders suggest that both are facing significant fallout. Ben’s modeling contracts may be in jeopardy as brands distance themselves from the drama, and Leah has lost a significant number of followers on social media as the public turns against her.

Charles Leclerc has remained silent amid the scandal, leaving fans wondering about the status of his relationship with Leah. The F1 driver has not been seen with Leah since the photos emerged, and sources close to the couple suggest that the situation has left him reeling. With rumors of a potential engagement now in doubt, it’s unclear whether Charles will continue his relationship with Leah or if this scandal has irreparably damaged their romance.

A Love Story Shattered

This heartbreaking turn of events has left fans and Hollywood insiders alike questioning how such a betrayal could happen. Renee Bennett, who has always been the picture of strength and grace, now finds herself facing one of the most challenging moments of her life. As she navigates this painful chapter, her fans are rallying behind her, offering support and urging her to stay strong.

While the future remains uncertain for all involved, one thing is clear: Renee Bennett’s story is far from over. This betrayal may have shattered her trust, but it has also shown the world just how resilient she truly is. And as she steps into the next phase of her career, all eyes will be on Renee to see how she rises above the heartbreak and emerges stronger than ever.

Author's Note: And I'm back as I promised how do you find the social media chapters, advices are always welcome

[nocturniashifter]

𝓨ou in the eyes of your s/o | pick a pile

Hello, my angels! After a long time without posting any PAP, here I am with one that just came out of the oven. I really hope you like it and that it resonates with you ;) ♡

┈─★ Disclaimer: This reading is for entertainment purposes only and shouldn't be taken seriously or used as a substitute for medical and professional advice. It's also a general reading, so it may or may not resonate with you.

┈─★ How to choose: Close your eyes, take a deep breath and choose the image that catches your attention the most – trust your intuition.

MASTERLIST | PAID READINGS

── .✦ PILE 1

Shufflemancy: Where The Lovers Go - Ghost Kisses, The End Of Love - Florence, Please Be Angry - Pierz Barry, Smaller Than This - Sara Kays.

This is so cute, pile one! Your s/o has been in love with you since the first moment you met, but they never told you that before because they didn't want to scare you – and I'm happy to play my role here and let you know that ;). Honestly, you even made them nervous and shy when they were around you and that's so cute 😭

In the eyes of your s/o, you are much more than a simple romantic partner. No, you are their family – regardless of what your relationship with them is now, whether you are just friends, lovers or even married. This especially applies to those who met their s/o at difficult times in life or who are shifting to a DR with more adventure/action/danger. For them, you are a person who is there with them in both good times and bad times, whether in your personal life or in your couple's life for those who are already together with their partners. They see you as someone they can count on at all times and you can be sure that they are also the kind of person you can count on when you are going through dark times. In their eyes, you are each other's safe haven and they also think that you know them better than anyone else - so much so that you know when they are lying/pretending that they are okay. You make them feel safe and they trust you, so much so that they feel comfortable enough to open up to you and be vulnerable. Furthermore, because they love you so much, they are very afraid of ending up losing you at some point – but that is just an insecurity they have.

Wow, this is really sad but…many of the s/os in this pile feel awkward in their relationships. But not in a bad way, but because many of them may be dating for the first time, aren't used to being truly loved by those they love or don't have much experience with relationships in general that are healthy. For many, their s/o was raised in dysfunctional and/or toxic families and as a result, they carry a lot of trauma and emotional wounds that leave them feeling like “clumsy idiots” in your relationship. Some examples that illustrate this well are the fact that they are unable to express themselves effectively with words and even more extreme cases in which they would rather you be mad/angry at them than disappointed in them or that you leave them. In their view, they won't be able to handle it if you decide to leave them, so they do everything they can to keep you in their lives – I told you it was sad 😕. But, even with all the fear they felt inside about starting a new relationship, they decided to take the leap and can be sure that it was one of the best things that ever happened to them.

Your s/o perceives that you have self-esteem issues, that you have a distorted self-image and an inferiority complex. In their eyes, you may be trying to achieve an unrealistic/unattainable standard of beauty and this is costing you your mental health and your physical health. Some of you may even be skipping meals so if this is the case, PLEASE STOP FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS!! To them this is crazy, because they love and accept you exactly the way you are and think you are being too hard on yourself – they care about you and your well-being, so they want you to take more care of yourself and treat your body like the temple it is. They would like you to see yourself the same way they see you, because in their eyes you are very attractive and hot and you shouldn't change anything about yourself 😋 (seriously, it was actually funny because I literally heard them calling you “hottie")

That was all, pile one! I hope you liked it and that it was accurate. You better take better care of yourself or your s/o and I will be forced to hit you 😠

── .✦ PILE 2

Shufflemancy: Laughing on the Outside - FLOOR CRY, Shade - Chymes, You Know Me Too Well - Nothing But Thieves, Heat Waves - Glass Animals, Still Feel It All - MARO.

From the first moment you met, your s/o couldn't take their eyes off you and with each passing day, they found themselves falling more and more in love with you.

There are two situations in this pile: the first is that you and your s/o are not together as a couple yet and the second is that you have ended your relationship.

Regardless of what your case may be, your s/o are madly in love with you ‍🧎‍♂️ and every day they have to pretend that they are okay even with the fact that you are separated or have to pretend to others around them that they are not in love with you – but as a good gossip, I am here to expose what they really feel MUAHAHA. But, stopping for a moment to analyze, deep down they feel very sad not to be with you and that leaves them heartbroken.

Seriously, they are so in love with you that they seem drunk with love. When you are together, their heart warms. They may even try to deny it, but they can't help the fact that they want you like they've never wanted anyone in their life so much. Absolutely all they want most is you and they want to give you all of them and everything you want – your wish is your command.

For some of you reading this pile, you and your s/o are still just friends and in their eyes, you know them very well. But, regardless of what your case is, in their view, you have no idea what they are going through. I believe that for s/os who are just your friends, it is becoming more difficult to deal with the fact that they have fallen in love with you and cannot reveal it for fear of rejection or the friendship ending. Some of them may be thinking that you don't feel the same way about them and that they should leave you – poor things, little do they know how wrong they are.

Help, they are really heartbroken for you. Many of them have been in love with you for a long time and they have never been able to get over it. Sometimes they may try to tell themselves that they are over you, but just seeing you makes them fall to their knees – just seeing your eyes, your mouth and especially smelling your perfume. They really want you to want them as much as they want you 😮‍💨.

They may think that every love story ends in tragedy, that they might not be enough or that you deserve someone better, but when it comes to the two of you, they are willing to try. Sometimes all they think about is you.

That was all, pile two! I hope you liked it and that it resonated with you. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GO KISS THIS MAN/WOMAN SOON 😭 they're suffering-

── .✦ PILE 3

Shufflemancy: C’est toi qu'elle préfère - Alice et Moi, Breezeblocks - Alt-J, all my daugthers - dodie, Impossible - Nothing But Thieves, If You Let Me - Sinéad Harnett.

The s/os in this pile are an enigma to me 🤔 but I'll be able to solve them

Many of you reading this pile are not together with your s/o, but the other part already is. And, regardless of your situation, it seems that in your s/o's eyes, they are replaceable in your life. They feel like you will leave them or that you prefer other people – in some ways, they may feel like “the other woman”.

But, none of these scenarios are real and these things are only happening in their minds – these paranoias originate from insecurities they have due to negative experiences in the past, such as being dumped or not being the priority of the person who hurt them. These thoughts make your s/o's heart sink, but as I mentioned earlier, they are creating problems that don't exist - so one piece of advice is to reassure them that you love them, that you are there for them, that you really care and who will not exchange it or leave it. They love you so much and are so afraid of losing you, they are almost begging you not to leave them – even if you have no intention of doing so.

Your s/o can see that you have imposter syndrome even though you try not to give a shit about it – you always feel like you're a fraud in every successful thing you do and in every achievement you achieve, even if it's totally your merit and they want you to learn to recognize that you are good at what you do and that you should give yourself all the credit you deserve!!

Your s/o are fools in love with you – the type where sometimes they even catch themselves looking at you with a passionate smile on their face – and they themselves never believed that this kind of situation would happen to them but, here we are lol. Seriously, if you were the ocean, they would dive deep into you. They love the smell of your perfume, in their eyes it is unforgettable. They also really like your mouth – if you're already together, believe me, they love kissing you.

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL THING, PILE THREE!!

Your s/o's love you like never before, literally no one has ever loved you as much as they do. They love you so much that they would really do ANYTHING for you and they are such good partners that they will do for you even what you didn't even know you needed. But, in their view, you still won't let them in (or haven't let them in yet if you're already together). WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? For them to love you this way, you need to open your heart to them because they have a lot of love to give you and it is more than enough.

That was all, pile three! I really hope you enjoyed this reading and that it resonated with you. You literally won the s/o lottery, so DON'T LET IT GET AWAY!! 😠 Until the next PAP! ♡

© nocturniashifter – don't copy, redistribute or edit my content | dividers

[muffin-snakes-art]

Hi. So I’m not a Layton guy and all THAT familiar with the lore, but a close friend of mine is, and as far as I understand Layton has a dead girlfriend? Can I please know who Magolor’s dead girlfriend equivalent in this AU is? I’m legitimately so curious. /pos

I have been thinking A LOT about which Kirby character would fit Claire's (dead gf) role. In the end I chose Taranza bc I feel he and Claire are the most similar in character. They're both really good at what they do (Claire: brilliant scientist - Taranza: immaculate mage), quick thinkers, humble, and have a lot of love to give.

I'll explain more under the cut (along with images of Claire and younger Layton for design ref), but Taranza could've also fit in as a couple other characters bc I made Sectonia as Descole. In this essay I will-

In Kirby there's an interesting connection between Magolor and Taranza. Primarily based on that one Magolor portrait in that haunted house in Triple Deluxe (like ok huh????) and also that one Star Allies Wave 3 illustration.

With that portrait existing, to me it implies that Magolor has met Taranza and Sectonia before the events of the game somehow. This theory is further backed up with the Old Friend mask in Merry Magoland. Magolor would HAVE to have known what Joronia looked like before her transformation, and that means he would also have met Taranza too at that time. I could be completely wrong about this HAHA but those are my thoughts on that.

When Wave 3 was announced, I didn't think much on the connection of the 3 characters other than they were from the first three core games of modern Kirby. But then they posted this art piece.

It's so cute how Magolor and Taranza combined their magic to create a shield for Kirby!! Both of their respective magic circle designs are melded together perfectly. Did they practice together on their own to perform this or was that a lucky in-the-moment occurrence? Either way, they must know and understand each other's magic abilities to a decent extent. Like how both Claire and Layton understands each other's careers and goals. Layton is a professor in archeology. Claire is a scientist researching time travel and other stuffs. Those fields go hand in hand, and the two do what they can to support and improve each other's passions.

Now onto the other characters that Taranza would've fit as and reasons why I ended up putting him as Claire.

So I put Sectonia as Descole. Descole has an extremely loyal partner/butler/henchman named Raymond. Yea Taranza would easily fit as him, but a few things made me decide not to. Descole may appear cold and not show it, but even in his madness he cares for Raymond. He does order Raymond around, but he still gives Raymond freewill to do as he pleases. Sectonia is very controlling over Taranza. If Raymond were to make mistakes, I don't see Descole punishing him for them. Sectonia would. She blasted Taranza away for mistaking Dedede as the hero of the lower world. Maybe when she was Joronia she wouldn't and wasn't as controlling but....I feel we don't have the full story on their relationship. I also focused more on Sectonia's overall in-game personality. I absolutely love seeing the two spiders enjoying each other's company and having fun, but in-game we never really got what Joronia really thought of Taranza. As Sectonia, she saw him as a disposable servant. You can say her personality was corrupted by the mirror, but I personally believe the mirror actually amplified her negative feelings and views. Negative emotions are brought up a lot in Kirby lore. I personally find that more interesting than just the mirror possessing her or something. I may be very wrong on that, but those are what I thought about.

Last reason, which is uhm, Raymond saves Descole from death FGDHSJ I don't think I need to elaborate on that. It would be so neat and ironic to have Taranza as Raymond, but I also wanna keep things in line as possible with Kirby lore canon.

Yet, who could be Raymond then? Idk fgdsj that's why I struggled so much. If Claire wasn't an option, Taranza would've been Raymond.

Now the one other character Taranza could've fit as is Descole's late wife. His wife was never mentioned by name, to my memory, and didn't have a huge role in the games. There's not enough information on who she was. I wanted to give Taranza a fitting role in personality and importance.

So in the end after all that thinking, Claire it is! I also don't know who else in the Kirby cast would fit her better and be Professor Magolor's late partner. One may think Susie would fit Claire more, but I've already decided she will be Emmy. Emmy's and Susie's personalities are very similar to me. And Emmy's lore? Fits quite well with Susie's. I'll draw that at some point.

So uh yea. Thanks for reading all that if you did! Hope you enjoyed the insanity

[ask-the-royal-absol]

(It has been one year since I joined the pokeask community with my silly absol. One whole year. How did I get here? Like, damn. It’s just been such a lovely community and I’ve met some truly wonderful people.

I’m sorry I couldn’t get more of you on here. I wish I had the time to draw each and every one of you. This is why I needed the head shot so thank you to everyone who sent it over. Thank you to everyone in this community for being my inspirations, my joy and my friends. I cannot thank you enough. If I could make you all something more to say thank you, I would. (Also forgive me if the image quality is garbage. Tumblr does that sometimes. If you click on it, it'll be clearer.)

I suppose I’ll just go on and say I’ve always admired the community from afar. So many stories I was following. So many inspirational people. The events. The characters. They are all so wonderful. And I followed these blogs for years.

Getting hooked into everything about the ask blog community. At first, I was going to making an ask blog about a royal Goodra/Vespiquen fusion who goes to other places to make political connections for their hive. I drew up a couple of concepts but I didn’t go ahead with it.

I kept following the community, constantly being inspired and amazed by everyone inside of it. I’d wanted to join a community for a while. At first, I joined the Pokémon fusion community. It was fun. I met some great people. But, after a few years, it didn’t fill me with joy. I did fusions on multiple platforms, even making some fusions for the infinite fusions game (they’re still in there). I had a go with commissions. It just became a bit of a chore.

I tried making my own region. It only lasted a month. It left a gap which I didn’t know how to fill. I also did dnd with friends which mostly satisfied this but we didn’t do it consistently enough. I definitely miss doing it. I probably did fusions for 6 years. The blogs are still up. There was nothing I wanted to draw consistently.

Near the end of last year, I had a really tough time. My mental health took a really big dip and I was struggling. It was an incredibly dark time. I didn’t have much going on. Maybe we were doing dnd. I don’t remember though. I started drawing Pokémon because I wasn’t in the mood to draw dnd art.

I don’t know why but I started to draw an absol. I think it may have been inspired by my current dnd character. As I was drawing this absol, ideas started to form in my mind about who this absol was and the world they were from. Ideas kept flowing and flowing.

Once the absol was finished, I drew another character, and another and another. And I just kept drawing. Soon, I started drawing maps and a prophecy for this absol and their world. The name Destino came from the word Destiny. It brought me so much joy. I worked on it for a few days and put it to the side.

Then came around the 27th December 2022. I looked back on my planning for this world and thought perhaps I could turn it into an ask blog. At first, I was so nervous. I didn’t want to go through with it. My partner convinced me to make the blog. That’s when I began to draw the first post. And on December 29th 2022, I created the blog and made a reference post for Destino.

Soon, the first post was posted and I got asks. Exciting stuff! And it was so much fun deciding how Destino would respond. More asks kept coming and I eventually started sending asks to others. The most exciting part would have to be seeing people follow me who I was a huge fan of. Gonna be honest, I’m still so incredibly excited when talking to these people and when they like my stuff.

My love for this blog grew and I’ve spent a lot of my time working on it. I have loved each and every moment of it. It was fun having this smug, egotistical absol interacting with many characters who I am a huge fan of and entertaining to see their reactions. Destino was becoming a bit of a thing. Memes were made of Destino. Destino was insulting every legendary they could come across. For me, it was hilarious. And it seemed others were enjoying their antics too.

I am incredibly thankful each day with every interaction, every like, every follow, every reblog, etc. I’ve had. I’m grateful for this entire community. Every one of you has been so friendly and I love talking to you. This community has filled a void which I wasn’t sure would be filled. And I hope I can continue loving being in this community for a while. Destino is going to stick around for a while. I’ve got big plans for them and I hope to enjoy this journey with you all.

Thank you everyone. I hope I can continue to work with you all and have fun! Let’s get ready for another year of Destino.)

[doublerainbow-if]

Double Rainbow

Double Rainbow is a romantic coming of age interactive fiction set in the city of Paris, France. The story follows you settling down after traveling around the world looking for your soulmate for years.

Rating 18+

Content Warnings: Abusive childhood, toxic relationships, and forced intimacy/love

Your folks weren't the picture-perfect image of a soulmate couple growing up. The bitterness and resentment staining what should have been a pure bond. At least that's what you were taught growing up. You wanted to believe in that idea of true love, a relationship that will complete you. That is what anybody needs in this world, though that's another you were told growing up.

Then it happened, it finally happened. A fleeting encounter on a highschool trip to the Big Apple. A mere brush of skin and suddenly your world was exploding in color. However your vision bleed back to monochrome just as fast. It was fleeting but that colorful vision and feeling wholeness will always stay with you. It was the driving force behind dropping everything after high school and taking off to New York. You had to find them.

It has been years now. Far longer than you were expected with how hard you tried to find them. Traveling all over the world to find that special someone, to see in color once again. You had wanted to give up so badly but you can't. This was suppose to be everybody's destiny, your happily ever after. Right?

Though maybe you can stop. Just for a while. Rest and savor life. That's what Lee always say to you since they joined you on your journey. You have a lifetime to find them, why not live your life too? Which lands you on the doorstep of one Mx. Jean Connoly, one of the most prolific art curators in Paris.

Play as male, female, or non-binary along with transgender choices

Interact with eight different characters, each unique in their own ways in this world of soulmates

Customized your appearance, personality, and special interests as you finally settled in for the first time since high school

Figured what kind of artist you are in Paris, France; a painter, scluptor, photographer, and many more

Navigate your way in this world where soulmates are the pinnacle in society while navigating the dark side behind the modern romancization

Connect with different characters who may or may not be your soulmate. You'll never know until you take that leap. But do you want that soulmate? Will you throw away your life's dream for somebody that wasn't predestined? You'll decided.

Myrtus/Mrytle "Elias/Eliza" Kouris-Henderson

26|Male/Female|Greek American|Rejected

Your old childhood friend that moved away in your freshman year. They were your safe haven growing up, keeping you away from the abusive environment in your home and being your best friend. Sometimes you wished that they were your soulmate but they found theirs abroad and like that they were gone. Now they're back in your life, a chance encounter when you arrived in Paris. But they seemed different, more sullen and moody than you remembered. The flower tattoos growing on their arms though tore your heart open. Their soulmate rejected them.

Tropes: Childhood Friends, First Love, Slow Burn, and Reunion

Leandro/Leandra "Lee" Hale

27|Male/Female|Brazilian|Unclaimed

Your best friend you made in New York City who joined you on your journey. You met them within your first week of being in the Big Apple and they were so enthralled by your quest that they had to join you. You never ask them if they also did it to find their own soulmate but they seem pretty happy just traveling around with you. They always kept grounded when you gotten close to giving up or going off the deep end. You couldn't ask for a better friend. But sometimes you see a spark of something unfamiliar in their eyes, what is it?

Tropes: Friends to Lovers, Secret Pining, Partners in Crime, and Angst

Brendan/Brenda "Bree/Bren" Ferrell

26|Male/Female|Irish American|Unclaimed

The cousin of your boss Jean Conolly who seems to follow you around like a puppy. They have very demure personality quite unlike their cousin but their smile is a sight to behold when you can see it. You don't why they taken such a liking to you but they are such a sweet and kind person. They're one of the first friends you made in the city and you wouldn't give them up for the world. They do freelancing as a book illustrator for publishers who you always see sketching in their notebook during your weekly hangouts. You wonder if they sketch you too?

Tropes: Puppy Love, Flustered/Obvilious, They Love You First, and Workplace Romance

Jean/Jeanne Conolly

30|Male/Female|African French Irish|Rejected

Your new boss since you decided to settled down in Paris. They have such an expressive and free attitude that reminds you a bit of Lee. But what drew you in was their dedication to their craft. Just that passion for art and displaying amazing creations, it's just awe inspiring. Especially since they saw you, a vagabond who showed up on their doorstep looking for work, and quickly took you under their wing. But the flower tattoos shouldn't be on them. Who would reject such an amazing person?

Tropes: Boss/Employee Romance, Best Friend's Brother, Forbidden Romance, and Second Chance at Love

Vincent/Vincenta Voog

28|Male/Female|Vietnamese French|Rejected

Your coworker who has branded you as their rival since you started at the gallery. Their burning focus and passion for their art is only matched by their utter arrogance and contempt for you. You don't know why they hate you for so much expect for their contast efforts to have Jean focus only on them. But there is something that slips through their haughty mask. The deep loneliness flashing in their eyes when a comment unexpectantly cut deep and quick sadness when they see the black marks that stain their hands.

Tropes: Rivals to Lovers, Angst, Miscommunication, and Against Destiny

Collin/Colette "Cole/Coco" Woods

28|Male/Female|Canadian|Unclaimed

Your coworker who has taken to being a thorn in your side. The best friend of V, they made it their mission to make you the new target of their jokes and pranks. A lazy person who somehow manages to create amazing marketing campaigns, they're confuse you so much. Heavily charismatic and charming, they can draw to customers to them like flies to honey and sell snake oil without a sweat. But the soft smile at the end of the work day and their relaxing atmosphere make you almost forget their childish antics. Almost.

Tropes: Work Romance, Bad Boy/Girl, Friends with Benefits, and Slow Burn

Avery Suman Ragda Remington

35|Male/Female|British Indian|Unclaimed

Your companion when you eat lunch at the cafe near the gallery. You noticed them out of the corner of your eye as you pick up your lunch every day at the cafe until you bumped into each other quite literally. Their easy going but mature attitude and friendly smile on their face as they caught you before you fall, it was perfect balm for such a hectic day you had. After that day, they became your lunch buddy. Talking about anything and everyhting and just letting yourself relax as they had such a calm prescence to them. You don't know however that they're the benefactor for the studio you work at.

Tropes: Billionaire Romance, Secret Indentity, Meet Cute, and Age Gap

Kahula Lennon 'Aukai

25|Male/Female|Hawiian|Rejected

The hottest musician in the underground scene. They have a magnetic and intense personality that can draw anybody to them including you after one of their concerts. It was just one time thing that only happen because the two of you crossed paths that night and quickly moved on. But they popped up in Paris for a break from their tour and lasered in on you. Could you take chance with one who has dozens before and after you? Even one who rejected their soulmate in order to become the star they are today?

Tropes: Starstruck, Playboy/Playgirl, One Night [You get to decide what happened that night], and Forbidden Love

[fatuifucker]

dreams come true

[art cr: @343_sashimiiiii on twt]

sub xiao x sub adeptus! gn reader ft tentacles

SUMMARY = inspired by an inazuman manga, you and xiao make use of your powers to summon a tentacled cyptid in your dreams...to have sex with of course

WARNINGS = smut, penetration (reader receiving), oral (reader + xiao giving), tentacles, bondage, dacryphilia, double penetration, overstimulation, reader calls xiao their "poor little bird" once, dream sharing and then dream fucking, both reader and xiao gets fucked by tentacles and then the tentacles make them fuck each other, their relationship is very wholesome they just fuck a lot too :)

W/C = 2k

A/N = i burnt the midnight oil for this please be proud of me :( also thank you to @vermillionbun for betaing <3

TAGS = @edenialucas, @huboi, @nejibot, @lovediluc, @yumixxn, @teallapril, @xiaoflwrs who asked me to tag her (you fucking whore)

The ability to bend and manipulate dreams is not a skill unfamiliar to adepti. But it is a skill you have long forgone in favour of your other adeptal arts. Thankfully, your partner has much experience in the art. If you could just convince him to–

“Outrageous. We are adepti. Our duty is to use our abilities to protect Liyue and its inhabitants. To use those abilities in such a sacreligious manner–”

“Would be perfect! Just think about it, Xiao! All those slimy tentacles…groping and touching every part of your body…so long and bulbous…filling up all your holes…”

You rub your thighs against each other as you conjure up that image in your head, while Xiao furrows his eyebrows. Although he would ask himself how in Rex Lapis’ name someone with your carefree personality became an adeptus, he already knows the answer to that. Having fought alongside you in the Archon War, he has witnessed firsthand your dedication and your steadfast attitude, purging enemies of the Great Lord of Geo with your weapon in tow. Truly, the ferocity in your eyes was a sight a behold, a terrifying side of you that made monsters cower in terror.

And this…is another side of you.

Ever since the Lord of Geo handed his control of the nation to the Qixing, you decided to acquaint yourself with mortal customs and activities, although your interest led you to questionable territory. Particularly, a type of illustration-focused literature known as manhua; which is a compelling concept in itself, worthy to capture the interest of an adeptus. The baffling part is that all the books that you have collected…are from the erotic genre.

Out of curiosity, Xiao once picked up one of your books and flipped open to a random page, only to find a detailed drawing of a naked couple having sex on a beach staring back at him. The worst part is, you weren’t even ashamed when you returned and found out that your s/o had discovered the true nature of your hobby, even pulling him down to sit beside you as you rambled on and on about the contents of your favourite books, all while Xiao fought — and failed to — suppress the red overtaking his face and ears.

He couldn’t look you in the eye for a week after that.

He eventually grew accustomed to your strange interest and upon your suggestion, started using your books for inspiration in sexual activities; though everything from the novels in that area has always been proposed by you.

This is just one of those cases. Upon learning of your newfound interest, an old acquaintance from across the ocean sent you books from her publishing house — apparently they go by the term manga in those parts — claiming it may come in handy. A few days have past since then, bringing you to today, with you shoving a book about an erotic love story between a tentacled-monster and a girl and begging Xiao to make the story a reality. Or close to reality.

“Your ability is adequate to form such a dream.” Xiao crosses his arms. “I don’t understand why I need to be involved.”

“Because it would be a nice bonding experience, don’t you think?” you insist. “Come on, it would make our sex life more interesting! And I can tell by that look in your eyes that you’re curious.”

Xiao scoffs. “Preposterous.”

“Oh well,” You shrug, laughing. “I won’t force you if you really don’t want to. Sex is supposed to be fun and it’s no fun if you’re doing it reluctantly.”

Fun…

That concept would have been lost from his mind eons ago if it wasn't for you; you who always pestered him, you who would bring him almond tofu and other human cuisine. Food which he would have instantaneously turned down if only it wasn’t made by you. You, the adeptus who welcomes change and dives headfirst into it. You, the person he would suffer through another millennia’s worth of torment for, just to protect your blinding brilliance. He takes one more look at the book in your hands as you skim through the pages, recalling the soft smile on your lips after the first time the two of you had intercourse together, the bliss that washed over him and cleansed his soul just for that one moment.

“It baffles me how you would find amusement in such an obscene thought.” He wets his lips, thinking of the vivid image you had described to him and the matching illustrations. “But I would like to know more.”

Your head shoots up. “You… you really want to try it? You really don’t have to force yourself if you aren’t interested…”

“You said it yourself didn’t you?”

You tilt your head.

"And I can tell by that look in your eyes that you’re curious."

Oh.

Oh.

“Xiao!” You jump into his arms. “I love love looooove you so much!”

The yaksha grunts, trying to suppress the glowing pink blossoming at the apples of his cheeks.

—

The first thing he sees when he opens his eyes again is an empty cavern. He awoke on a circular platform surrounded with water, thankfully with you beside him, just like the both of you imagined. You stir awake, gasping upon realising that your plan worked. “We did it, Xiao! We did it!” 

He stares at the scenery in awe, before tensing up at the feeling of movement under the water. A lone tentacle spews out of the water, greeting the both of you. You step forward, beckoning the creature closer. It rubs against you and you laugh, returning the gesture with a kiss. Xiao takes slow steps, approaching the creature with the stiffness of a startled cat. A tap on his shoulder forces him to whip his head around, particles floating to form his spear, when he realises it’s just another tentacle. It backs away, whimpering.

“It senses your nervousness, Xiao,” you say. “Relax, I told you that this is supposed to be fun. We’re both in control.”

Heeding your advice, Xiao awkwardly pats the creature. After some hesitation, it nuzzles against his hand, wrapping itself around his arm to the exposed skin on his bicep. The texture is slimy yet comforting. No surprise there, since you imagined the slime to have a calming effect when the both of you did the ritual. Just to ensure that the experience would be smoother.

More tentacles pop out of the water, surrounding the both of you. Xiao holds his breath as they wrap around him — around his legs, waist, arms — and hoists him several feet off the ground. One of them smears his crotch with its slime, another climbs up his chest to play with his sensitive nipples. Amber irises dart to you in panic, widening at the sight of your aroused expression as a thick tentacle moves in and out of your mouth while the others peel off your clothing. He watches one of your legs being pulled up and you choke as a phallic-shaped tentacle penetrates your hole. In this dream, it doesn’t hurt as much as it normally would and the excessive slime provides enough lubricant for the pleasure to undermine the pain.

Xiao’s attention is brought back to himself at a sound of fabric ripping. The tentacles waste no time in toying with the newly exposed area, smothering his pristine body with stickiness. A smaller tendril circles the base of his bare cock, stroking it to hardness. The adeptus’ body shivers, unable to withhold the soft moans coming from his mouth.

Most adepti either have high sex drives or have little to no desire. Xiao happens to fall in the latter category; until you pursued a romantic relationship with him, of course. As such, thousands of years without receiving or giving any kind of intimacy made his body — especially his nether regions — especially sensitive. He couldn’t stop himself from cumming immediately the first time you gave him a handjob, and even after sleeping with you for so many nights, he has to use his entire willpower to stop himself from ejaculating right then and there.

A light caress at his tip nearly sets him off, forcing a gasp out of him that is immediately silenced by another cock-shaped tentacle filling his mouth. Xiao struggles to take it in at first, so it waits for him to get adjusted. The adeptus gives himself a second to quell his nerves, breathing in through his nose before he begins sucking on the appendage. The size is…a lot to take in — literally and figuratively — and he couldn't help the tears forming in the corner of his eyes. It's long too, the shaft-like part of it hitting the back of his throat with little to no effort. How in Rex Lapis’ name are you able to take this thing so easily?

Still, Xiao does his best; spurred on by the tendrils toying with his dick and your muffled moans echoing through the cave. The yaksha has to restrain his gag reflex when the appendage in his mouth starts picking up speed. The contrast of the cold tendril and his hot mouth feels intoxicating, not to mention he is literally ingesting that calming enzyme mixed into the slime. In the midst of the lewd noises and the pleasure, his brain turns into mush and he barely registers the thick fluid gushing down his throat. He coughs as the tentacle retreats, viscous white spilling down his chin.

Xiao hears coughing beside him and he turns to see the creature has moved the both of you next to each other. Instinctively, the two of you lock lips, tongues intertwining and exchanging the monster’s cum through your mouths. Archons, he didn’t realise how much he misses your lips. If his arms weren’t bound at the back, he would have reached out to hold you. The two of you part, and you stare into Xiao’s cat-like amber irises; sharing a longing gaze as your chests rise and fall with exhaustion. The moment is interrupted when the tentacles shift the two of you again. This time, Xiao is underneath you while your legs are lifted up to your chest. 

“Wha– oh!”

A cry — yours, his or both, he wonders — resounds off the walls as you were slammed down on Xiao’s cock, before being lifted up and slammed back down again, over and over again at an inhumane speed. Hot tears stream down Xiao’s cheeks, overstimulated by the sudden euphoric cruelty brought upon by the creature. He tosses his head back, delirious at all the sensations he’s experiencing. The wet tentacles on his body, your tight hole clamping down on him so earnestly, his dick ploughing inside your deepest parts. It feels too unreal. 

Just like a dream. 

“X-Xiao! Xiao!”

He hears your calls for him in the sea of lust, hidden beneath the other vulgar moans and sloppy sounds. 

“(Name)…!”

He can’t take it anymore. The intimacy and pleasure of the moment completely overtakes Xiao's mind and he unravels at that moment, gasping as he gives all of his precious cum to you. Spurred on by his orgasm, you squeal as you tighten around him, reaching your climax a few seconds after. Xiao heaves, trying to catch his breath while the tentacles shift the two of you back to the ground. The moment they return back to the water, your body collapses on top of your lover

“(Name)?” He panics.

“Hnnn…it’s okay, I’m fine,” you assure him. “Just tired.”

Xiao calms down immediately, and wraps his arms around you. “Let us return.”

—

“Hah…that was fun!” you yawn, stretching your arm. “Let’s do it again some other time.”

It’s like the tiredness in your body vanished the moment you woke up in reality — you look even more invigorated that before — while Xiao could barely even move, only managing to grunt in response.

“Aww my poor little bird…” you coo, kissing your lover on the cheek. “Was it too much for you?”

“Ugh…because I was the one who had to stabilise that dream,” he mutters, shooting a half-hearted glare.

You laugh. “Okay, okay. Did you have fun, though?"

“...Hmph, I suppose.”

“Good.” You smile, kissing him again.

[crepesuzette2023]

So whats like the general consensus about Stu and John? Do we think they ever messed around or not?

Ooooh, I won't burn and scar my typing fingers on anything like "general consensus," and my cop-out answer is: depends on who you ask. I mean, if you're living in a world where 'a man being with a woman' = straight, or 'a man who never came out unequivocally as queer' = straight, then John and Stu very much never messed around, and, more importantly, didn't feel the desire to.

But I think if you look at it with an open mind, without being afraid of the possibility, you'll see it's more likely they did than that they didn't.

First, you have John, with his life-long romantic idea of being in love with your creative partner (see: his comments on Yoko and Paul)—an idea that fits Stu seamlessly, and perhaps even started with him. In the Hunter Davies bio, John (in '67) calls Stu Paul's predecessor in the 'my trusted partner in art' role.

There is also this conversation with Stu's girlfriend, Astrid Kircherr, as related by Backbeat director Iain Softley:

Paying tribute to Astrid this week, film director Iain Softley revealed her moving words from his interviews with her when he made 1994 movie Backbeat about her and Stuart’s romance.

They hint at a complex relationship between her, Stuart and John. She said it was only after Stuart died that she and John “took a load of pills” and talked for 12 hours about “all the things on our minds about Stuart”. “‘He was jealous when Klaus and I fancied Stuart more, and took him home and left John out,” she told Iain.

“He told me he really loved Stuart, but was afraid of the feeling.”

Iain adds: “I think she thought he meant as a friend, I don’t think there was any suggestion they were in a relationship. But Stuart had always been John’s best friend, they shared a flat in Liverpool. John would write to Stuart as ‘Jesus Christ to John the Baptist’, in the sense Stuart was showing him the way. He looked up to him.

“There was a sense John didn’t want Stuart taken away from him, he didn’t want Stuart to stay in Hamburg.

“At the same time he was very fond of Astrid, but I think there was a conflict there.”

If John was afraid of the feeling, then I'm thinking he felt something that, at the time, and probably still today, was a scary thing to feel. I'll leave it at that.

Also, they were, what? 18, 19, 20 years old? At that age, odds are you do fool around, even if you regret it afterwards. Nothing wrong with that.

Look at this picture of Stu (r.) with Astrid and Astrid's ex, Klaus Voormann. Klaus, who later said he and Astrid didn't work as a couple because she wanted him to be exactly like her image of him, and whose marriage (to a woman) was a platonic marriage of convenience, according to himself. We have now reached the beautiful stage of come onnn! "Straight" was at the party, but so were many others. These relationships were messy! That's awesome!

And how do we feel about John feeling up Gene Vincent, while Paul and George look on knowingly, and Pete Best blanks out? We feel joyous and unsurprised.

A word about Paul vs. Stu, since we're (sort of) at it.

It's possible (what an understatement) to think of their rivalry as sexual rivalry. This is, once more, hinted at in Backbeat, where Stu is more or less giving away John to Paul.

And yet. I think it was more than that. I think everyone, back then, was fighting for more than a bed-partner. They were fighting for their future, for a life unlike their parents'. Paul was fighting for the band, Stu was fighting for John to join him on his artist's way (even giving 'rock'n'roll' a try), and John..

John was, on the one hand, the person either of the others felt he needed in order to realize his dream. But on the other hand, he was the least decided of the three. He may have perceived that, within the trio, he had the fewest fall-back options: Stu had his obvious, much-mentored artistic talent. Paul had a possible academic future bwxt to his musical talent, plus a clear determination to make it in music. John had talent in spades, but perhaps less of a clear-cut idea of where and how to apply it. So he tried keeping both of them close...?

With fun scenes like these as a result:

John sure is feeling campy/cuddly, while Paul is incandescent with rage. A hot look for both of them.

In the end, we don't know if they ever did fool around. My usual reply in those cases is: I hope they did, if they both wanted it. I hope it was good.

I need to check out this book:

John and Paul look happy.

[hollowsart]

Acedia's suits!!!

if Acedia was in a video game, you'd have quite a decent selection to choose from for a new cosmetic to play with!

Some suits have a bonus feature/ability that can aid in battles, while the rest are merely aesthetic. A few may even be beneficial during story moments.

small descriptions of all of them:

Default: Amazing Fantasy #15: The Cryptid Crawler 1962. A beautiful 2 piece suit that Acedia and Doc Ock designed and crafted together as a thank you to her for saving his life.

50% Matcha: Symbiote/"Black" suit. When Matcha was born, it grew attached to and bonded with Acedia without her knowledge, causing her to act out without her usual anxiety, becoming a little more bubbly and bouncy. Her suit got visual overhaul when Matcha made itself known. It was only when Matcha finally detached from her that Acedia was hit with a wave of realization, embarrassment and regret to the things she did. (Boosts attack and speed)

"Big Time": Who doesn't love a nice black with neon suit? It almost gives off a futuristic vibe. (cosmetic)

Homemade: Before she became 'Acedia' she lurked around in her beloved sloth onesie and matching slippers to stop a few petty crimes despite her better judgement. (cosmetic)

2099: In the far off distant future, the Daily Bugle is torn between calling the Cryptid Crawler the 'New York Jersey Devil' or 'New York's very own El Chupacabra'. After so many years, they still aren't very bright on creature identification, as noted by 'The Lizard' being an Axolotl. (Boosted stealth & speed)

"Web-Man": Bizarro Acedia?? Something is off about this Sloth-Woman. Yet JJJ still thinks it's Acedia, albeit with a new change of clothes.. that are just a color swap. (cosmetic)

Cryptic Mystic (Mysty Dreamer + Bubble Sloth): A little gift from her beloved Mysterio made in his image. When couples wear matching clothes. (Boosts Stealth + releases smoke from palms of claws) (other 2 are souvenirs from hopping the multiverse to her friend's worlds)

Insulated: When getting shocked one too many times, Acedia got this suit made to help protect herself against Electra the next time they fought so she could help to deescalate things more safely. (stores charges of electricity from Electra's attacks and is able to release small bursts to temporarily stun enemies + boosted attack & defense)

Doc Ock: A suit devised by Otto to aid Acedia in getting closer to him safer to help stop him when his inhibitor is damaged and he is sent into a frenzy. The two actuators that hang behind her can are fully functional. (boosted stealth & attack)

Zombie: What if..? Mysterio had been scratched during an unforeseen attack by a zombie, keeping it a secret from Acedia so she wouldn't worry as they found a place to hide. It was only a matter of time before the infection kicked in and his bit her, causing her to change alongside him. (cosmetic)

Negative: A special suit crafted to counter Miss Negative's energy powers and be able to take her out. (effective only against Miss Negative, otherwise cosmetic)

Harvest: Perhaps in another life Acedia was more on brand to the whole 'Spider' thing. (boosted speed)

Captain Universe: Temporarily Acedia was chosen by the Enigma Force while the current holder at the time was unable to perform their duties, being taken out of commission by some outside greater power. (boosted attack)

Mysteria: In the future of The Fantastic Spider-Man, Mysterio has a brand new partner in crime. Mysteria was a loyal and dedicated fan who idolized Mysterio so much she became deluded, seeing Spider-Man as the villain and Mysterio as the hero. She now works by his side and often faces and fumbles against Spider-Girl as Spider-Man enters retirement. (can create an illusory duplicate to distract foes for a quick getaway, duplicate fades after a short bit of time)

Love Bug: A lovely little albino sloth here to spread love and joy to everyone and be your friend! :) (cosmetic)

Friends Forever: A suit made from friends across the multiverse coming together to show their everlasting bond with one another through the shared hardships they've all faced together. Wearing this feels like a group hug. (boosted defense)

[lurkingshan]

Hi Shan!

I hope you're doing well and thank you for all your metas and recs. They are always such a great read!

I have realised that I am quite anxious about currently airing shows not sticking the landing (IFYLITA mostly, I only seem to care about this one recently). You may have previously written about it(?), but which dramas (BL or otherwise), do you think have the most satisfying endings?

Oh, and bonus question, do you have an ending that you approve of, was really good and all, but you would never ever rewatch it because of *too many feels*?

Hey Kat! Thanks for the ask. I totally get the fear of a bad ending, it has soured many a drama experience, and sometimes it really does take you off guard. I feel like when most dramas end I'm just happy if the ending doesn't retroactively ruin anything, let alone it actually being meaningfully good. I had to think about this for a minute, but I do think there are some dramas where the ending is so good it actually enhances the overall story and watch experience.

First, a few that I would classify as having really lovely happy endings that feel very well-earned after lots of pain and strife

My Lovely Sam Soon

This drama is a classic from 2005, and it caught me off guard with how invested I got. It's a pretty standard romcom about a quirky "fat" (*stares into the camera*) woman who gets hired by a chaebol restaurant owner. They start out adversarial before eventually falling in love, with the hero working through his surprising feelings for this woman who does not fit his image of his ideal partner and the heroine overcoming her own body image and self-esteem issues. Sounds basic, right? But something about it just works. At the end, the heroine sings a love song to her beau with her terrible singing voice while he looks on adoringly, and something about it was just so touching that I actually burst into tears.

My Mister

One of my favorite endings of any drama ever. Our heroine Ji An has been through it, and via a platonic relationship with her older boss, she gets the support she needs to turn her life around. I spent half of this drama white knuckling in fear that they would try to turn the relationship romantic, but they stayed true to the purpose of this narrative. Instead of a romance, we end with the two of them running into each other on the street after a time skip. They meet eyes, he sees that she is happy and well and they just smile gently at each other. Perfection.

The Untamed

Possibly a controversial pick, given that this is significantly altered from the novel, which has a much better resolution to the romance. But given the constraints this adaptation was under and the need to keep the relationship ambiguous for censorship reasons, I think this show did a remarkable job of getting the romance across. This ending where they meet again on a hillside, Lan Wangji calls his name, Wei Wuxian turns and we see a smile slowly light his face up is absolutely beautiful and a very romantic note to leave us on.

This second group of endings are more bittersweet resolutions, but ones I thought really added to the poignancy of the stories and made the relationships feel all the more epic

Bad Buddy

Something that always surprises me about the way people talk about BBS is they often seem to...forget that the ending is actually really fucking sad? I guess because the couple is together and still happy with each other, folks overlook the deep melancholy of the circumstances under which they are able to maintain their relationship. So let me remind you! Pat and Pran are in a long distance relationship, they are still not out to anyone but their closest friends, and they are forced to put on a charade in front of their families so everyone can carry on pretending. They are still hiding, their family relationships are irreparably altered, and we know it's a constant strain on them. It's a perfect bittersweet note to drive home the serious sacrifices they are making in the name of filial piety even as they refuse to give each other up.

Crash Landing on You

Switzerland, the true MVP of this story. Se Ri and Jung Hyeok do not have the option of simply choosing one of their home countries to live in together, and both have obligations they cannot abandon at home. And so in the end they settle for being mostly apart, taking time together in neutral territory as often as they can manage. Is it enough? No, but it's better than moving on from each other.

Goblin

This story is a tragedy and it stuck to its guns on that while also finding a way to give the characters (and the viewers) some kind of happiness to hang onto. Shin is doomed to live forever and watch Eun Tak die over and over again, but at least he also gets to meet and be with her before each death. Him meeting her again in her second life, with the looming knowledge that he will outlive her again and be left alone, is a perfect combination of joyful and mournful, very appropriate for this story.

I Promised You the Moon

One of my favorite romance endings ever, because it does what the genre rarely allows in acknowledging that the couple may not, in fact, stay together forever, and that's okay. Oh-Aew decides to take Teh back because he wants to be with him and he hopes they may be better equipped to deal with their issues in the future, not because he feels confident things will not go wrong again. In fact, he directly acknowledges that they probably will. It's a very mature resolution and a fitting end to a coming of age story.

Someday or One Day

This time travel story ends with the leads deciding to break the loop they have been living in, sacrificing their romantic relationship in the process. It's a brave and selfless choice made to protect others, and the narrative rewards them by giving them some hope of another path to each other in the future. We leave them meeting again at a different time with a significant age gap and no memory of each other, and a hope that they will find a way to each other in this new reality.

These next two kind of stand on their own as unique, as I have not seen other dramas that pull off what their endings do

The Glory

The best thing about this drama is that it's a revenge story where the revenge is fully carried out, no one is given unearned redemption, and every character gets exactly what they deserve. That probably shouldn't be revelatory, but in my experience, it is! Asian dramas love to hand out unearned redemption to villainous characters, but this drama was simply Not. Having. It. It was such a satisfying watch.

Utsukushii Kare

The ending of this one pulled off the neat trick of reframing everything that came before it, flipping the perspective so that nothing about previous events actually changed, but our understanding of what it all meant was turned on its head. This is a difficult writing trick that requires deep understanding of your characters' psychology and full command of every detail of your story, and it was incredibly impressive. It instantly turned it into one of my all-time favorites.

Bonus question: Dramas with endings that were fantastic, but that made me never want to watch again because of the feels

I had to think on this one a bit because I actually really enjoy getting into my feelings over dramas and regularly torture myself by rewatching sad shit. But I did come up with two dramas that I probably won't ever watch again for different reasons: The Red Sleeve and Secret Love Affair. With TRS, it's rooted in a specific kind of pain that I found quite brutal as a viewer: the total denial of any moment of happy catharsis, which was an intentional and appropriate choice to underline its message. This is a love story that the heroine did not want or choose, and so she never gives in and embraces it, and neither can we. The show refuses to romanticize the concubine life and I respect it, but boy was it hard to watch.

With SLA, it's more a matter of the anxiety it provokes. That drama was, hands down, the most stressful watch experience of my life, even more than thrillers that are intentionally trying to stress me out! The romance is actually super compelling but you can't relax for a moment because everything is on a knife's edge. And the ending was not at all happy, but somehow still managed to feel like a breath of fresh air for both the heroine and us, because we finally escaped that confining dynamic she was trapped in. A perfect ending to a brilliant drama and also a watch experience I am not looking to repeat.

[peachy-panic]

It's Nice To Have A Friend

Here it is, the chapter I've been mud-wrestling with for a literal month. Jaime and Ezra finally meet :)

(yes the title is a t-swift reference)

WARNINGS: BBU/BBU-adjacent, brief mentions of past foster system, mentions of grief/parental loss

< PREVIOUS

The car radio carries on for several minutes after Sebastian kills the engine, then, eventually, that shuts off too. The silence they’re left with is all the more heavy given the remote location. Still, neither of them make a move to get out. Sebastian will gladly wait all day, if that’s what Jaime needs. 

A couple of times, he catches movement out of the corner of his eye; Jaime’s hand twitches toward the door handle, then flattens back against his thigh. 

“We don’t have to do this today,” Seabstian says. “No one will be upset if you want to back out and go home.”

“I know,” Jaime answers too immediately to be completely true. Sebastian glances over to find the familiar crease between his brows. He waits him out a few more seconds. 

“Whatever it is, you can say it.”

Jaime takes a breath. “It’s just him here?” he asks. “Your friend Ezra? No one else?”

“No one else,” he promises. “Ezra’s partner won’t be back until he gives him the word.”

Sam, of course, was perfectly happy to skip out for the day in the sole interest of making Jaime more comfortable. Sebastian finds himself, not for the first time, marveling at the generosity of this group of people he has found himself entwined in. He can’t imagine handling this contract without their support. 

“And you won’t…” Jaime pauses. 

He gives him a second to find his words. “Won’t what, Jaime?”

“You won’t leave me alone with him?”

Sebastian grinds down hard on his molars and pointedly does not let himself think about the kinds of situations Jaime may have found himself in during past contracts to make him ask something like that. He absolutely does not let it show in his expression. 

“Not if you don’t want me to,” he promises. 

Jaime lets a narrow wisp of a sigh slide between his lips. “I think I’d feel better if you stayed with me.”

And that… sort of knocks the wind out of him. Because, on one hand, that could be a crock of shit fed to him by handlers to make him feel reliant on the person who holds his contract. On the other hand, Sebastian has somehow made the jump in Jaime’s mind from active threat to someone he feels better around in the presence of strangers, and that is not a privilege he is about to take lightly. 

“Then I’ll stay,” he says. 

“Okay,” Jaime breathes, sounding genuinely relieved. He nods once, setting a look of determination over his features. “I’m ready.”

****

Jaime positions himself slightly behind Sebastian as they approach the door.

“We can tap out at any time,” Sebastian reminds him. “Just give me the word and we’ll go.” 

Jaime nods, even though Sebastian isn’t looking at him. He stands stiffly, clenching and unclenching his fists at his sides, as Sebastian knocks. A few seconds later, the door swings inward and Jaime forces his feet to stay planted where they are. 

The man standing in the doorway is nothing like the image Jaime had in his head. He didn’t have much to go on, physically, from Sebastian’s description, but in hindsight, Jaime realizes he was picturing someone more like himself. Someone shrunken and cowering, someone visibly less alive to the naked eye. 

The man he presumes to be Ezra is none of those things. He stands taller than both Jaime and Sebastian, with light brown skin and dark hair twisted into a bun at the crown of his head. Like the sweater he wears over a pair of jeans, the smile that spreads across his expression is unmistakably warm. He looks strong. He looks like nothing could ever scare him. Jaime can’t help but stare. 

“Hello.” Sebastian gives a small wave. 

“Sebastian.” Ezra nods. “Glad you could make it.” They don’t reach for a handshake or a hug, but the familiarity is obvious anyway. His eyes shift to Jaime. “Hi, there,” he says. 

Jaime swallows. “Hello, sir.”

“Ezra, please,” he says, and his smile doesn’t falter a bit. “There are no formal titles in my house. What would you like me to call you?

Jaime turns to Sebastian, who offers an encouraging nod. They’d talked about it beforehand—that Jaime is safe and allowed to use his real name around Ezra, and that he already knows that Sebastian knows it, too. That doesn’t make it any easier to get used to. 

“My name is Jaime,” he says after only a short beat of hesitation.

“It’s nice to meet you, Jaime. Please, come in.”

The house is beautiful. Big, but not arrogant. It’s not immaculate and sleek like Mr. Torley’s or Bryan’s, but well lived-in. Taken care of in a way that reflects how cherished it is to the people who live there. Mostly, Jaime just keeps thinking this house belongs to Ezra. 

“You’re welcome to keep your shoes on or take them off,” Ezra says, immediately clocking the silent way he watches the two of them for a cue. “However you feel most comfortable is fine with me.” 

Sebastian slips out of his sneakers, but Ezra keeps his on, leaving Jaime momentarily torn. In the end, he decides to follow his Keeper, bending down to untie the high-tops Sebastian bought for him. 

“Smells incredible in here,” Sebastian says, stepping further into the house. 

“I’d be flattered, but I think you’d say the same if I’d ordered pizza.”

“And it would be true either way.”

Jaime watches from a detached distance, surprised at their easy banter. He’s not sure he’s ever seen this side of Sebastian, but it immediately sets him a little more at ease. Ezra is obviously someone he trusts.

“I’m finishing up a few things in the kitchen,” Ezra says, leading them further into the house. “The two of you can keep me company at the bar, if you’d like.”

Sebastian pulls out two stools along the raised counter that separates the kitchen from the living area, and Jaime climbs obligingly into his. It feels intrinsically wrong to be sitting like a houseguest while someone else cooks, but he supposes that is exactly what he is expected to be tonight. His mind supplies the memory of his twenty-four hour contract on Christmas eve, where he spent the night at a lush family dinner, pretending to be a rich man’s arm candy, which does nothing to settle his nerves. He forces his thoughts back to the present. 

“Would you like something to drink?” Ezra offers, already pouring himself a glass of wine. Jaime eyes the liquid, once again looking to Sebastian for a cue. 

“I’m fine, thanks,” Sebastian says. He told Jaime beforehand that he would stay sober in case he—in his words—needs to play getaway driver at some point, but that Jaime is welcome to drink if he likes. 

“Jaime? A drink?” Ezra offers, tilting the neck of the bottle toward a second empty glass. 

He swallows, remembering the burn of each sip that Mr. Torley would coax down his throat. “It’s alcoholic?” he asks stupidly. 

“Doesn’t have to be,” Ezra says easily. “I’ve also got iced tea, coffee, lemonade.”

“Water?” 

A small smile quirks at the corner of Ezra’s mouth, but it doesn’t feel unkind. “Of course.” He pours a glass of water from a filtered jug and sets it in front of him. 

Jaime takes a few sips, mostly to have something to do with his hands, and observes quietly. He finds himself watching Ezra closely, fascinated and curious and bewildered, as he makes his way around the kitchen. There is a certain practiced grace to his movements that Jaime recognizes with a bit of a chill. The way his fingers poise around the handle of a knife in just the perfect way, how he stands with his shoulders back, even when he’s looking down at a cutting board. He can feel the pull of muscle memory in his own back, feel the brush of a handler’s fingers on his spine, hear them whisper in his ear, stand up straight, trainee.

A morbid thought invades his mind: that Ezra’s skill in the kitchen—and whatever other learned skills he brought with him from his time as a Companion—are part of the reason his partner was drawn to him in the first place. 

But Sebastian called him his partner. That word implies a level of equality. And that… Well, that opens the door to even more questions. Jaime hasn’t allowed himself to think much about it since entering the system, but now he has to wonder: is that kind of relationship equality even possible for someone with a past like Ezra’s? Like his own?

It’s such a surreal thought. He still hasn’t quite wrapped his head around it.  This person in front of him—this person with a real name, a real home, a real partner, a life—used to be a Companion. Used to be. It’s not a sentence that even makes sense in his head. For as long as Jaime has been acquainted with the system—both inside of it and out—there has been no way out short of a body bag. 

It’s built into the structure. It’s a lifetime commitment. Companions can be reassigned designations, transferred to different locations, and even shifted to government-direct work when they reach a certain age, but no one ever retains their freedom in the end. There are barriers too tall to escape: high tech locks on the back of their collars, unbreakable metal binding it together. Trackers embedded under their skin, into the surface of their skulls behind their ears. All their money and resources are drained the moment they “sign the contract.”

But here is Ezra, in the flesh, defying everything Jaime believed to be true. 

The thought unsettles him. Sitting still and watching someone else prepare a meal for him unsettles him. The empty patch of skin at his throat where Jaime knows a collar used to exist unsettles him. But he can only fix one of those problems. He shifts on his barstool, inching toward the edge, and clears his throat. 

“Can I help with anything?” he asks.

Beside him, Sebastian tenses. He begins to say something along the lines of, “You don’t have to—”

But Ezra interjects before he can finish the thought. “You’re certainly welcome to, if you’d like,” he says. “The sourdough is cooling now; it should be ready to slice, if you’d like to do that?”

Relief sags his shoulders. Out of instinct, he looks to Sebastian, who offers a smile that he takes as approval. Jaime slides off of his stool, and Ezra sets him up with a cutting board and a serrated knife. Out of the corner of his eye, Ezra works steadily at his own workstation, piping a bag of frosting over some puff pastries. 

The conversation picks up again. Every once in a while, one or both of them make an effort to pull Jaime in, but he is more than happy to just listen. The soft cadence of their voices and the repetition of the task in his hands slowly lulls him into something more like relaxation.

“Sebastian mentioned you like cooking,” Ezra says, passing Jaime a basket for the bread.

“I do,” he says. Briefly, he wonders if Ezra had the same thought that Jaime had about him and his partner. He wonders if he should say something in Sebastian’s defense, to make it clear that Jaime is never obliged to do the cooking, but Ezra chuckles before he can.

“I’m sure Tate is happy to have someone around who knows how to use a skillet.”

“He always helps me,” Jaime adds quickly. 

Ezra and Sebastian share a quick smile. “That’s good to hear. I’m sure he has a lot to learn from you.”

Sebastian feigns offense with a dramatic scoff. “You tell a guy about your affection for frozen burritos once!” 

“Well,” Ezra says, reaching behind himself to untie his apron. “I can only hope this meal will hold up to your sophisticated palate.”

The three of them carry the food into the dining area. The table is long—long enough to make Jaime question just how many people a fugitive like Ezra keeps in his circle.

“So,” Ezra says, folding into the chair at the head of the table. Jaime and Seabstian each take one side of him. “For the main, we have beef brisket with rosemary and garlic. On the side: smashed fingerlings and roasted Brussels sprouts with a chili oil infused honey glaze. And the sourdough, of course, with some freshly churned sea-salt butter.”

“Oh my god,” Sebastian says, looking out over the spread with genuine adoration. “Thank you so much, Ez. It all looks amazing.”

“Let’s not leave it to sight, shall we? Dig in.” 

As both Ezra and Sebastian reach for serving spoons, he must catch a flash of Jaime’s hesitation, because without looking up from the task at hand, he says, “No one goes hungry in my home, Jaime. I expect you to serve yourself as much as you want, eat what you like and ignore what you don’t, and know that I will be thrilled if you reach for seconds but not disappointed if you do not.”

Jaime blinks at him, and Ezra looks up just long enough to meet his eyes. 

“Are you okay with that?”

In the back of his mind, he remembers the face of the woman who ran Jaime’s last group home. My boys don’t go hungry, she told him on his first night. He thinks she would have liked Ezra. He reminds him a bit of her. And that’s the thought that makes him nod in agreement and reach for the last unclaimed spoon. 

For a few minutes, Jaime allows himself to slink back into the background, happily listening to the easy back-and-forth between Sebastian and Ezra. The food is incredible, but Jaime knew it would be. After all, they are trained to be the best.

“What else do you like to do, Jaime?” Ezra asks, pulling him into the conversation. “Beyond supervising Sebastian in the kitchen.”

His fingers twitch around his fork at the unexpected attention, but he recovers quickly. “I like to run,” he says. It’s an easy enough answer—WRU-approved and the one personal fact he’s already divulged to Sebastian as well. 

“Speed or long distance?”

“Either,” he says. “Both.”

“Well, I bet that made morning sessions a bit more bearable in training, at least.”

Jaime goes still. Across from him, Sebastian’s fingers clench around his fork. Neither of these things seem to deter Ezra’s co-conspiratorial smile in the slightest. Jaime, anxious under the silence, is the first to speak. 

“I’m… I’m not allowed to dis—”

“Discuss the confidential training periods,” he finishes softly. “I know.”

And it’s so bind-bendingly bizarre, because he’s hearing those words, in that cadence, from the mouth of a man who has a house and a partner and a life that stretches far beyond anything Jaime has allowed himself to hope for, but it’s undeniable. Ezra used to be like him. Ezra knows what it is like to be in his shoes, and he is on the other side of it. And still, he remembers the rules as easily as breathing. 

“Jaime,” Ezra says carefully. “You don’t have to divulge anything you do not wish to. I won’t push you. But for what it’s worth—which I fully recognize is very little at this point—whatever you say to me will never make it back to anyone who might hurt you. I know you have not been allowed to speak freely for some time, but you can do so here, if you’d like.” A small smile cracks through his somber tone. “Or, alternatively, you can make things up. Lie to me all you want, I won’t get mad. It’s your choice.”

Slowly, Jaime brings his eyes back to his plate, pushing around a piece of meat with his fork, because nothing about this evening is easy to process quickly. After a moment, he clears his throat and says, “I like soccer.”

The admission is followed by a whoosh of air expelling from his lungs, because he hasn’t talked about—or even let himself think about—that part of his life in so long. Most days, it feels more like a detail about a character he read in a book rather than a piece of his reality. A reality that suddenly feels not so far back. 

Because it’s not, he reminds himself. It wasn’t very long ago at all. 

Across from him, Sebastian perks up, eyes alight. “You do?” he asks, sounding genuinely surprised and disproportionately happy. “Did you play?”

Jaime nods.

“Is that one a lie or a truth?” Ezra asks, still grinning ruefully at him. 

“It’s true.”

“Good to know,” Ezra says. “I played soccer, too. Very briefly, when I was young. But I’ve always enjoyed being active.”

“It…” Jaime begins, surprising himself by being the one to offer up more information. “It helps. Moving, I mean. Sebastian has been running with me sometimes.”

Ezra turns to Sebastian, one brow raised. “Has he now?”

“He’s being nice,” Sebastian says. “What I actually do is kind of limp behind him while he leaves me in the dust.” He casts a glance at Jaime on the last part, and he has to duck his head to hide the smile playing at his lips. 

“If you ever want another workout partner, I’ve got a gym set up in the basement. You’re welcome to it any time. No soccer nets, I’m afraid, but I’ve got plenty of cardio and sparring gear, if you’re interested.”

“Sparring?” Jaime asks. 

Ezra nods. “Mixed martial arts, kickboxing. I’m not a professional by any means, but I can hold my own.”

“I didn’t know that,” Sebastian says. 

At this, Ezra’s smile goes a little crooked. “I’m full of surprises,” he says, then turns back to Jaime. “Speaking of… I’m guessing I’m not the only one with some questions tonight. Shall we address the elephant in the room?

For a few seconds, Jaime doesn’t breathe. He watches him, rapt and curious and inexplicably nervous. 

“I gave Sebastian my permission to tell you anything he already knows about my story. Can I ask you what he conveyed?”

Jaime’s gaze once again dips to the smooth column of Ezra’s throat, unobstructed by metal that Jaime has been told, time and time again, is indestructible. Immovable except with the explicit allowance of a high-clearance Handler.  “That you used to be… like me,” he whispers. 

Ezra nods. “I was a contracted Companion for many years. I was seventeen when I was taken in—though of course, my file stated otherwise. I was well into my twenties by the time I got out.”

“How?” The question escapes before he can reel it in, but Ezra doesn’t look offended. He seems to have expected it. 

“There are specifics that I won’t get into right now, not yet, for the safety of the other parties involved,” he says. “But I killed the last Keeper of my contract.”

The sharp intake of breath next to him tells Jaime that this is new information to Sebastian, too. 

For a dizzying moment, Jaime is swept up in a technicolor fantasy: he is towering over the lifeless body of James Torley, droplets of blood collecting at the tip of a knife and splashing into his dress shirt. A shiver runs down his spine. He pinches his thigh to ground himself.

“You ran?” he asks, a bit breathlessly. “They didn’t track you?”

A wry smile pulls at Ezra’s mouth. “They couldn’t.”He turns his head, pulling his ear forward and brushing his hair back to reveal a thin scar where his tracker would have been. Jaime stops breathing.

“I had the right people on my side at the right time,” he explains, turning back to him. “There was someone who could safely extract the tracker without setting off any of the emergency failsafes. I had someone else who was able to remove my collar as well. It was staged as a murder-abduction. Someone kept me sheltered for months, in a house in the country. I laid low. The case eventually ran cold, and I was deemed a casualty. Not so much a missing person, but a financial loss the government had no choice but to write off. And now I am here.”

No one makes a sound for a long time.

“I can’t promise you an answer,” Ezra follows up. “Not about everything. But you can ask me anything you’d like to know.”

There are a hundred questions spinning in Jaime’s head—most of them incoherent, some of them he’s afraid to know the answer to. He unsticks his tongue from the roof of his mouth and asks, “How long?”

“Since I’ve been out? Nearly a decade.”

“Aren’t you afraid?” Jaime asks. “Of being found?”

“They haven’t found me yet.”

“But they could.” Jaime’s heart is hammering inside his chest. He can’t stop the words from escaping any more than he can control the sudden tremble in his hands. 

Ezra softens his expression, letting out a long breath. “Yes,” he concedes. “They could. But, Jaime, I have spent so many years being afraid. I have fought hard for the life I have now. I refuse to let fear control me again.”

Jaime can’t remember what a life looks like without fear. He has been afraid for as long as he can remember. 

In his very first memory of true terror, he is six years old. They had just moved to a new house, and the layout was still unfamiliar. There was thunder and lightning, so loud it shook the window in his bedroom. Jaime stumbled into the hallway, fingers plugged into both ears, desperately searching for his parents to make the noise go away. But between the fear and the darkness and the newness of the house, he couldn’t find their room. He couldn’t find them. In his mind, in that moment, he was entirely alone in the world. He ended up curled against the wall, wailing into the knees of his pajama pants, until they found him. 

That was the night he learned what it felt like to truly fear the loss of his parents, even if it only lasted a few minutes. Four years later, when that fear came to fruition, he thought the worst had happened. Nothing else could ever hurt him that bad again.

Then life spent the following years proving to him that there are always new things to be afraid of, new things to hurt him, new lows to reach: cruel foster parent, hungry nights in a locked room, a disciplinary board staring him down from the wrong end of a table, a man in a shelter standing over his bed, a stranger in a bar and a cloth pressed over his face, dark gray coveralls and blinding white lights, hands on his body, cuffs around his wrists, pain and pain and pain and—

And what Ezra is telling him now scares him, too. Existing so long in the system without the knowledge of a way out is a hell of its own, but this is a labyrinth he isn’t prepared to face. 

“Maybe…” Sebastian speaks up, eyeing Jaime cautiously. “Maybe we should table this conversation for now.”

“It’s a lot to take in at once,” Ezra agrees, keeping Jaime’s gaze. “I don’t want to overwhelm you. Let’s put a pin in it for now? You can always ask me questions later, if you want.”

Grateful for the out, Jaime takes a few deep breaths and nods. Wordlessly, Sebastian reached forward and nudge’s Jaime’s water glass closer to him; not a command, but a concern. Jaime takes a long drink, focusing on the cool stream down his throat. 

“So,” Ezra says after a few long moments of quiet. “Would anyone like dessert?”

****

While Sebastian laces up his shoes by the front door, Ezra pulls Jaime to the side. 

“Here,” he says, handing him a small slip of paper. “Sebastian already has my number. Now you have it, too. It’s not just for looks; I want you to use it if you need to. For any reason at all, you can call me and I’ll pick up. Okay?”

“Thank you,” Jaime says.

Ezra nods. For the first time all night, there seems to be a brief moment where Ezra is not entirely in control of his emotions. He blinks at Jaime a few times through an unreadable expression, then takes a deep breath to smooth his face into perfect neutrality once more. Jaime shivers, seeing a flash of his own reflection in his eyes. 

“I’m glad you allowed me to meet you tonight,” Ezra says. “I will make no demands of your time in the future, but I hope this won’t be the last time. You are welcome here whenever you’d like. It might be good for you to have a friend right now.” He shrugs, bringing his smile back to the surface. “It might be good for me, too.”

***

@whumpervescence @shiningstarofwinter @distinctlywhumpthing @whumptywhumpdump @nicolepascaline @anotherbluntpencil @hold-him-down @crystalquartzwhump @maracujatangerine @batfacedliar-yetagain @thecyrulik  @pumpkin-spice-whump @finder-of-rings @melancholy-in-the-morning @insaneinthepaingame @skyhawkwolf @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @mylifeisonthebookshelf @dont-touch-my-soup @whump-world @inpainandsuffering cicatrix-energy @quietly-by-myself @whumpsday @extemporary-whump @the-whumpers-grimm @thebirdsofgay @firewheeesky @whumperfully @hold-back-on-the-comfort  @termsnconditions-apply  @cyborg0109  @whumplr-reader  @pinkraindropsfell @whatwhumpcomments @honeycollectswhump @pirefyrelight

[callsignspark]

Hi! I'd like to submit "standing on your tip toes to reach your partner's lips" for Marry Me!

hi anon! I love this one so much!!

send me a physical intimacy prompt for any of my Dagger, Sword & Shield couples!

Romeo, oh Romeo

pairing: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Mariella “M&M” Vertucci (fem!OC)

warnings: 18+ minors DNI, discussions of body image issues/insecurities, mentions of pregnancy/giving birth, mentions of smut but nothing explicit, this is set once they're already together, so many goddamn pet names, also you don't need to read Mar[r]y Me to read and understand this, but you should anyway

word count: 1.7k (will I ever write something short? the world may never know)

Mariella Vertucci has never been the smallest girl around. Growing up, she was always bigger than her classmates. The ones that got asked on Saturday night movie dates or who got to wear a cute boy’s jersey to class on Friday before a big game. The girls that got asked to prom by guys who wanted to go with them. Not by their mother’s best friend’s neighbor’s son, who got rejected by the cheerleader of his dreams and had to settle for some girl whose family owned a bakery.

But with age, maturity, a good therapist, and distance from her mother, she had grown to accept her body. It kept her alive and healthy. It allowed her to play with her nieces and nephews. It allowed her to excel at a job she loved. It allowed her to make food for the people she loved. It allowed her to love Bradley in every way he deserved to be loved. She accepted that she had always been bigger and probably always would be.

Then she found out she was pregnant.

With twins.

That she created with her gorgeous, hulking 6’3” husband.

And now, at six months pregnant, she looked like a VW bug turned upright. Large and in charge was the joke one of her technicians had made last week. At the time, she had laughed with everyone else. It was true; even with three months to go until birth, she was comically large and round.

But when she got home that night, the sweatpants she usually wore to make Friday night dinner no longer fit over her bump. Bradley had come home to her sitting on the bathroom floor in tears. He was two seconds from calling an ambulance when she explained what happened.

“I’m fat, Bradley. I can’t even wear my sweatpants anymore! They don’t fit over my stomach! I just feel so big and gross. I can’t stand this.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” He pulls her up, nudging her from the bathroom towards the bed sans pants. “I know it’s hard that your body is changing so much so quickly, but you are the furthest thing from gross. You are the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen, and you are so sexy. Baby belly or not. But believe me, the baby belly is doing things for me.”

She sniffles from her perch on the edge of their bed, watching him peel himself out of his khakis. “Really?”

“Baby doll, I can’t even begin to explain how sexy you look carrying our girls. It makes me want to get you pregnant all over again, even if that’s biologically impossible.” He gestures towards himself, and she glances down, finding him half-hard already. “See, just looking at you sitting there in your cute little panties and my t-shirt has got me going.”

“Bradley!” She squeaks when he tips her back, bending over her and pressing himself into her, hooking her legs over his hips. “What are you doi-”

He cuts her off with a deep kiss. “Gonna show you exactly how sexy you are, and then I’m gonna order you whatever you want for dinner. Gonna give you whatever you want, mama.”

An orgasm or two later, Bradley ordered pizza from their favorite shop, and the two of them enjoyed it in their underwear on the couch. The next day, he came home with three bags full of maternity clothes. After asking for recommendations from the mothers in their friend group, he had spent the morning scouring the town for clothes he knew his wife would like. He was thoroughly thanked, and Mary felt like herself again after doing a fashion show for him. Her wonderful husband oohing and ahhing over every new piece, even though he insisted it would be better if she just walked around without clothes on.

Bradley had been giving her extra compliments and love since then, helping her restore her confidence and remember the joy that she was growing inside her.

But all the confidence and reminders in the world couldn’t stop situations like this.

“M&M, please, this is for your safety. Pregnant people aren’t allowed to climb on ladders after the first trimester. If you want to look at the progress on the engine repair, we’ll pull the platform out.” Mika, her second in command, had been trying to bargain with her since their 9:30 meeting. It was now 11:45.

“That’s a stupid rule. I want to talk to whoever made that rule!” Mary’s frustration is severely undercut by her inability to fully cross her arms over her stomach.

“I believe that’s your rule, ma’am.” Lieutenant Johnson meekly interjects. Just a few months at NAS North Island, and he’s sufficiently afraid and in awe of the repair shop senior director, even if she’s a civilian. The stories of her standing up to admirals who questioned her knowledge and reaming out pilots who disrespected her authority were known through the entire aviator community. The rumor that she had at least three admirals who would take her side without a second thought was shared every time a new top gun class came through.

She whips around and stares at the younger man, who is barely making eye contact. “Fuck! Damn my past self for being so reasonable and smart about safety. Alright, pull out the platform; I want to get a look at the frame welds and see what’s going on there.”

Her technicians snap into action, and within a few minutes, the rolling platform is in place with the wheels locked. She’s just about to instruct her techs to climb up their ladders while she raises the platform when the lunch bell rings.

“Okay, everyone. That’s lunch, we’ll pick up right here in an hour, and then you guys are out on the tarmac with the Dagger Squad for the rest of the afternoon. So please make sure to apply sunscreen and fill your water bottles, I don’t need anyone passing out on me while I’m in meetings.”

“You want help down?”

“Nah, you head to lunch, Mika. I’m gonna pop up here real quick so I can get a good look before I meet with Cyclone this afternoon, maybe take some photos.”

“Okay, but please call me or someone if you need help.”

“I will, I will.” She presses the button to start lifting. “Oh, by the way! Marty definitely has a crush on you! You should unzip your coveralls some and see if he finally asks you out!”

The other woman rolls her eyes. “Goodbye, boss! Have a good lunch!”

Mary snickers as she pokes around the FA-18 engine, using her flashlight to look at the welds that everyone is concerned about. Jack had done a good job, and she was confident in his techniques, but she wasn’t sure this was the best route for the repair. Her mental list of people to reach out to for advice is interrupted by a familiar voice.

“But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Mary is the sun.”

She looks over the side to find her husband grinning up at her like a fool, his nose a bit red from morning training in the sun, and immediately hits the button to lower her down.

“O Bradley, Bradley, wherefore art thou Bradley? Deny thy father and refuse thy name. Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love. And I’ll no longer be a Vertucci.”

“You’re already not a Vertucci, baby doll.” He wiggles his eyebrows and flashes his ring at her, making her giggle and swoon at his ability to be equally romantic and ridiculous.

She rubs a hand over her bump. “Yeah, and you made sure that I’ll never want to change my name back, huh?”

“Never getting rid of me now, honey.” He moves up to the platform once it locks in position at the bottom, rubbing his hands over her thighs when she sits down to climb off. “Hi.”

“Hi, handsome. How was training?” She runs her hand through his curls, smiling at how quickly his eyes close to enjoy her nails scratching the back of his neck.

“It was hot, I got a little burnt.” He pouts, making puppy dog eyes at her. “A kiss would make it better.”

“Yeah? Does my big strong man need a little kiss to feel better?” She teases even as she leans down.

He’s just an inch too far, her belly hindering her ability to fully bend down, and he raises up to collect his healing kiss. He hums, pulling back as he feels her tongue brush his lips. “Baby, I would love to make out with you right now, but I don’t think I can take the trauma of Mav finding us again.”

Her face burns, remembering when her godfather-in-law found the two of them a few months ago. It was before they had announced the pregnancy and her hormones were going crazy, making her want to jump Bradley as often as possible. Including during their lunch break in her office. She’s still not sure whose face was redder during family dinner that weekend.

“I hate when you’re the logical one. Help me down.”

He helps her climb down the small step ladder and once she’s back on solid ground he pulls her in for another kiss. “That’s better. Having to go on my tiptoes to kiss you was kinda weird, never had to do that before.”

“What you’ve never kissed a tall, Amazon woman before?”

“No, the only goddess I’ve kissed is 5’5” according to her license.”

“Bradshaw! Stop flirting with your wife when I need to talk to her and go eat lunch.”

“Sorry, sir.” He grins at Cyclone, whose exasperated expression lets him he’s not in trouble, yet. “I’ll catch up with you later, honey. Let me know what you want for dinner.”

He takes a chance and presses a kiss to his favorite pair of lips before scurrying out of the repair shop, smiling when a roar of “Bradshaw!” follows him out.

His smile turns to laughter when he hears a faint, “Yes, Admiral? What can I do for you?” from his girl.

God, I love that woman.

only tagging a few friends since this isn’t an actual update. have a great week!

@gretagerwigsmuse | @hangmanapologist | @hangmanbrainrot | @princessphilly | @roleycoleyreccenter | @thesewordsareallihavetogive | @sometimesanalice

fic tag | Mar[r]y Me masterlist | credit for dividers here

[yourbloodysunrise]

Could you do a romantic headcanons of Annie x fem reader going out on romantic outings trying not to get caught and her bragging about the reader to her fans in interviews pls?

🌤 — Annie from Skullgirls, I hope (pls, guys, don't forget specify fandom, it's makes my job easier)

🌤 — reader at age at which Annie became a child forever, but there's mention when they growns up.

❝ Light of your life will illuminate my path. ❞

— FANDOM: SKULLGIRLS

— PAIRING: ANNIE x FEM!READER

— ROMANTIC

— HEADCANONS

— READER IS FEMALE

— TW: BAD GRAMMAR, BAD ENGLISH, OOC, THERE'S A SHORT ANGST MENTION

☆ ┈ Your relationship with Annie has always been difficult.

☆ ┈ She realized that you weren't immortal like her, and you were worried about her sometimes annoying fans.

☆ ┈ If you are more lucky and people can't always recognize you on the street, then when you are with her, you two have to disguise yourself so that you won't be noticed, most often you just change clothes.

☆ ┈ Although Annie is not picky about where you will spend your time, she likes to walk in the park or hang out in some unremarkable cafe.

☆ ┈ Unfortunately, you don't get to spend time alone very often, given that Annie is constantly busy filming her show. (and perhaps the hunt for the skullheart)

☆ ┈ Sometimes you and her spend time together on the roof of Annie's studio in the evening, watching the stars.  The night sky reminds her of her past adventures.

☆ ┈ If you are discovered, you will either be surrounded by a HUGE crowd of fans, or you will have to run away. Usually the outcome is the same, you try to leave and hide somewhere, all dirty and dusty from running, laughing from another escape.

☆ ┈ In fact, I don't think she's the kind of person who would want to brag about you on camera. Just because it would raise fewer questions.

☆ ┈ Basically, despite the fact that you are dating, in public you are just very good friends, although this does not prevent her fans from considering you as a couple.

☆ ┈ Contrary to what was written above, she may mention on camera what a great friend you are, but in no case a partner.

☆ ┈ Let me explain. Since Annie is a child forever, she has to pretend that different actresses are playing in her show, but reader getting old. She wouldn't want others to think that an adult woman is dating a little girl..

☆ ┈ She is generally scared of the fact that you are mortal, and the thought that she will outlive her girlfriend strains her. So you have to keep your relationship in secret…

☆ ┈ Sometimes Annie thinks that it would be easier if you broke up, but she can't do it. She is too hurt by the thought that you will break up, that she will be left without someone who could always support her, what will happen to you after your breakup?

☆ ┈ You distract her from bad thoughts by gently pushing her by elbow to show a funny image that you have made of the stars. She smiles tiredly at your happy face.

☆ ┈ As long as you are with her, everything is fine. And she will enjoy every moment spent by you…

..:*･ﾟ☆.｡.:*･ﾟﾞ｡.:*･ﾟ☆.｡.:*･ﾟ🌤

🌤 — I think I overdid it and went deeper than just cute short headcanons ":D

🌤 — hope you like it, anon, have a good day☆

[skylerorionx]

Asexual Awareness Week (for some reason it’s “asexual” and not “asexuality”) is 22-28 October. So near the end of the week, here’s the second of two posts for a not-quick introduction to what asexuality is, and also what it isn’t. The first post is here.

Also, if I am wrong, add it in the comments.

Image text below:

(1) 

It’s asexual awareness week, so it’s time for a crash course into asexuality. Part two of two cause I have a lot to say. 

—

(2) 

Asexuality means a lack of sexual attraction. It does not mean a lack of willingness to have sex, a lack of romantic attraction, or an inability to love. It is also not synonymous with celibacy, and, like many things queer, exists on a spectrum. Asexual is often shortened to “ace.” 

—

(3) 

Where I left off in the previous post… Why does someone need to form a romantic connection before feeling sexual attraction, or lose attraction as time goes on? Why does someone feel attraction but don’t want it reciprocated? Why does someone wank if they’re ace? Why can’t someone tell if they’re feeling are sexual or romantic? Why is anyone asexual to begin with? 

The answer is: 

Because. 

Why does it matter to you? Unless you’re dating this kind of person, it kind of doesn’t. We’re just like this. It’s not weird, it’s just different. For whatever reason, every person is different and experiences sexuality differently. 

—

(4)

If you are dating someone who is ace or has an asexual-spectrum label, or who realizes they’re ace after you’ve been together for years, what do you do? (if you don’t immediately want to jump ship)

Talk to them. Learn what they want or don’t want. Don’t take it personally, you did nothing wrong (as cheesy as it sounds, it’s not you, it’s me). Know they may not be able to explain why they feel this way. Know this might not mean the end of the relationship or that their romantic feelings may not have changed. Seek advice or read stories on Reddit’s various asexuality subreddits or AVEN. Definitely don’t try to “fix” them. Learn what you can, and you can show that to them but don’t try to label them, that’s their job. Hell, go to couples counseling or talk about alternatives to a “standard” relationship if you have to. 

It may be helpful to know this: (go to the next slide)

—

(5)

Believe it or not, attraction does not equal desire or willingness to engage in activities associated with that type of attraction; so in the case of asexuality, lack of attraction does not mean lack of willingness to have sex… Some asexuals still have sex (whatttttt). 

It’s also a spectrum (yeah there’s like fifteen, it’s fun as hell!) that I’m going to call the “willingness to have sex” spectrum. We all (yes, you too) exist on this scale too. (You can also replace the word “sex” with “romance” and it works the same.) 

[adverse/repulsed — favorable] 

In the middle is indifferent. There’s also ambivalent, which is someone who has mixed feelings or fluctuates on this scale. 

— 

(6)

Once again, allow me to ask the rhetorical questions: 

Why does someone choose to have sex when they don’t experience sexual attraction? Cause their partner likes it and they can stomach it. Cause they have a disconnection between sex and libido. Cause that’s one way babies are made. Cause it’s a societal norm. Cause it releases brain chemicals that make them feel good. Because it brings them closer to their partner. 

Once again, the answer is just “because.” 

While we’re on the topic, celibacy and abstinence are different from asexuality. Why? Because that’s choosing not to have sex even though you experience sexual attraction and would probably like sex. Asexuals are not choosing not to have sex, Like Lady Gaga said, we’re born this way. (So don’t you dare compare us to Catholic priests.) 

—

(7) 

Asexuality does not mean a lack of romance or love. Sexual attraction is just one type of attraction. Romantic attraction is separate and not necessarily correlated. A lack of romantic attraction is called “aromantic”. 

Someone can be asexual but not aromantic. (Examples are an asexual lesbian, asexual biromantic, or omit the word “asexual” and just say “heteroromantic”, etc.) Someone can be aromantic but not asexual. (It’s called allo-aro or just allo.) Someone can be both asexual and aromantic. (It’s called acearo.) 

That’s it, there’s really nothing else to say about it. Some asexual people do fall in love and get married or whatever whatever and do some or all of the “normal” relationship stuff, just without the sex part. Once again, and remember this: a healthy relationship can exist without sex. 

—

(8) 

That’s it. Got questions? Just ask me, I have all the answers. 

Also, I know to actually sound like I know what I’m talking about, I need sources, so: 

Slightly uncreditable but first-person sources: 

Me

My existence on Tumblr for twelve years

AVEN and people’s stories there

“Proper” sources: 

“ACE: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex” by Angela Chan

“The ABCs of LGBT+” by Ash Hardell (published under their old first name and “maiden” name)

“Boston Marriages: Romantic but Asexual Relationships among Contemporary Lesbians” edited by Esther D. Rothblum and Kathleen A. Brehony

“The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality” by Julie Sondra Decker

[gacha-incels]

Do you think that there is a possibility of Hypergryph splitting from Yostar for global publishing of Arknights and moving it to Gryphline instead? The traditional Chinese server got moved from Long Chen to Gryphline recently, and the new ambience synesthesia concert merch is on the Gryphline store rather than yostar’s. It may just be wishful thinking as yostar and hypergryph both own large shares of each other, but if there is a planned split from yostar would it potentially be a reason why Hypergryph hasn’t made a statement condemning Yostar Korea’s actions? Is there any precedent for publisher changes for a sort of legal clause preventing them from hurting each others’ image prior to the split being announced?

Gryphline is situated in Singapore, having what I guess you could call a “proxy” company for global business in Singapore is something a lot of companies in China have done for a while, increasingly within the past couple of years, for a multitude of reasons. Last time I checked Mihoyo had “Cognosphere” in Singapore, and when you buy gachabux in that game on servers outside China I believe your bill is from Cognosphere. The slave labor fast fashion site Shein has been operating under the Singapore-registered “Roadget Business” which some have speculated makes it easier to list in the USA. Yostar has HQ in Hong Kong which used to be the proxy location but according to this FT article-“Traditionally, Hong Kong was the choice for many such companies, said Kia Meng Loh, a senior partner at Dentons Rodyk. But with Beijing “flexing its muscles” in the semi-autonomous rival finance hub, Singapore is the obvious next choice, he said.” Hypergryph has multiple games coming out in the near future, I believe a regular (non-gacha) 3D anime mobile game and a 3D Arknights spinoff that will have a weapon gacha, and I think another game that’s TBD? They could be rearranging their internal structure due to this expansion if they’ve switched around their Chinese server already, but I’m unsure if this means they will completely split with Yostar who I believe publishes the US, Japanese and Korean servers.

Admittedly I can’t say I’m super well versed with this type of business and therefore it’s harder to really predict what they will do in the future, but I’ve been watching the situation since AK KR posted that notice to see what happens. I don’t have anything against the game itself, if it comes out that somehow their hands are completely tied in the situation or something I’ll post about that as well but I’m not holding my breath. In terms of my read on the situation, I think a huge message has ready been sent to the fans as to whom the company deems most profitable to listen to, regardless of any future handwringing over the situation. I would think between a woman posting extremely basic feminist thoughts on her personal twitter (equal pay etc) and enjoying the woman’s day google doodle years ago, and the Arknights KR/Yostar employee liking extremely violent fanart on the official twitter account and hanging out on extremist, misogynistic chat boards, that the employee would be seen as more of a problem and should have been the one disciplined. In reality, not only was the woman punished by having her work deleted but the official KR account posted that diatribe calling basic feminism a “dividing force” or whatever. This action and the following statement are absolutely not neutral, especially during a time a which violent misogyny has been increasingly ripping through South Korea as a whole but also gacha games specifically. In terms of PR I do think this is something Hypergryph could address, if HG doesn’t want to rock the boat with Yostar so to speak because of some upcoming split, it seems Yostar has already rocked the boat quite a bit with this action to begin with…

in terms of a main developer punishing the publisher, one example I can think of is Fate/Grand Order’s DelightWorks (after the sakura wars fuckup FGO is developed by “Lasengle” now, but when this happened it was DW) changing an in-game reward that FGO’s Korean publisher Netmarble gave out. In terms of them splitting as well, I’m still looking into it 👍 If anyone knows anything else feel free to reply or send me stuff and I’ll post it, sometimes I feel if I wait too long to reply to messages it comes across as rude lol so I’m not getting lost in like thesis tier research

[binaural-histolog]

Good evening!

I have a couple questions for you if you would be so willing.

First is dealing with imposter syndrome/not feeling ready. I've been very interested in hypnosis for over a decade now and have kept tabs/read books on/ even taken Wiseguy's class on the topic, but I never feel quite there. Have you/do you deal with this feeling as well, and if so what works for you in combating it?

Secondly, where can I find people interested in both topping and subbing? I've been on multiple discords/hypnohookup/fetlife, but I feel they are too overtly/explicitly sexual from where I want to start off. I feel like that is done after having had a session or two to figure each other out and having a healthy discussion, since trust is at the very core of hypnokink.

Thank you for your time!

Have you/do you deal with this feeling as well, and if so what works for you in combating it?

Imposter syndrome is a feeling. It won't go away because you work hard or work past it or try to think the right thoughts at it any more than the rain will go away because you're wearing a raincoat and rain pants. It's not about solving imposter syndrome. You just get to a point where you accept that sometimes that feeling will happen, and it's okay.

The reason it's okay, for me, is that hypnosis is play. Mistakes happen in play, but if you're having fun and finding joy in stupid shit, you're doing it right, even if you still have that imposter syndrome feeling all the way through.

It took me a year to tell my partner I had a hypnosis fetish. I had a full on panic attack when I told them I wanted to hypnotize them. I was terrified that all the fantasies I had about brainwashing and controlling people were going to inevitably corrode my ethics and turn me into the monster I always knew I was. I knew it was bullshit, but I'd had a lifetime of the shadow talking to me.

And yet... the first time I hypnotized my partner I felt like a five year old given five espressos and a new puppy. Did I screw up the induction? Yes. Did I lose track of my notes and forget half the suggestion? Yes. Was my voice trembling? Also yes. Did I feel like an imposter? Yes. Did it matter? No. Because we set up a schedule and we were going to do it again next weekend, and the goal wasn't to be perfect, it was to play and have fun.

My partner doesn't care about any of the authority or magic involved in hypnosis, so I didn't have to live up to any built-up images of hypnotism. What made a difference to my partner was that hypnosis helped with anxiety and rumination, and it gave us a chance to sit and be close and intimate together. One of the best things in the world is seeing my partner's face relaxed, stroking their cheeks, and tell them things that make them smile even if they don't remember them after the session. The actual experience of hypnosis was completely and utterly different from my fears.

The same goes for writing and presenting. I wrote An Alternate History of Hypnotism not because I want academic or community recognition. It'd be nice to have those things, but I did it because it was fun. Presenting the slides at Mindquake took all my social energy and left me unable to move for a good hour, but I got to show people the links between rhetoric and suggestion and work Mr Rogers into an erotic hypnosis conference. Did I fuck up bits? Yes. Did it matter? No. It was fun.

Your imposter syndrome is a feeling. That feeling may go away or it may not. But the feeling of having fun and enjoying yourself will still be around, and no-one is there to look at the bits that don't work, they are there to look at the bits that do.

Secondly, where can I find people interested in both topping and subbing?

I'm only barely part of the scene, so this is going to be mostly from what I've heard other people say.

Trust and a healthy discussion of kinks should be the first thing that happens. Starting from fetlife/discords/hypnohookup is going to get you people who are "horny on main" so they will most probably not hang back and talk.

Go outside. Go to fetlife munches and hang out and meet people. Look for general openminded kink people, hypnokink is still enough of a niche that the potential pool is much larger than the actual one.

Once you know roughly who people are, then go on a low-effort date to see if they're a top/bottom, how they got into kink, and what their interests are. Then they ask about you, and you explain your hypnosis kink, what you like about it. Depending on how the date is going, you might give some examples of hypnotic suggestions that just so happen to align with their interests and kinks.

If it works out, great! If not, you keep going. Dating is like interviewing, it's not personal and there will be ten or twenty dates that don't work for every one that does. As long as you treat people like people and also feel like you're being treated as a person, you're doing it right.