#This feels vaguely homophobic ngl

[thefederalgovernment]

You know, over my thousand hours of playing TF2, I’ve tried to main Engineer, Medic, even Heavy Weapons Guy™. And yet, despite everything I try to do, no matter how long I try to play the classes I want to main, my most played class always ends up being Spy against my will and I don’t know how to feel about this. I think at a certain point I’m just going to have to accept that god has cursed me with spy main syndrome, but denial sounds like a better idea for now. 

[taniushka12]

Im having a lot of fun with this one, goodnight 😌

alan/barry yuri save me......... save me my alan/barry yuri fic............ save me...... ....

(^the a/b yuri fic has killed him)

[coffeenonsense]

announcing the bard is officially bisexual (he's got a card and everything now) and then putting him in that wig feels vaguely homophobic ngl

[outrunningthedark]

Okay I believe we’re not gonna get buddie canon but the thing is that they should do is at least give us back buck and Eddie’s friendship like that friendship/dynamic is a core friendship of the show ya know

I think we're still gonna get Buddie scenes, the amount will just depend on the state of the separate romantic relationships (no girlfriend(s) to open the season - still a possibility - means Buck and Eddie gotta talk to somebody). But ngl, I'm prepared for more reactions akin to 6x15 (the graveyard scene). "Why aren't we seeing this conversation between Buck and Natalia if she's his current choice?" Uh, probably because the show runners understand how important the "friendship" is to people and don't want to have to completely erase a long-established dynamic just to make a point about their sexuality. If Buck and Natalia's conversation at lunch was actually written, the criticisms would be about the lack of Buddie in the aftermath of the lightning strike and how TPTB are being "homophobic" for not letting them stand next to each other. I said this more than once, especially during 6B, but I personally am at a point where I don't think Tim or Kristen (yes, even Kristen) can "win". They include Buddie scenes and it's all part of the bigger plan (they wrote Natalia and Marisol like that on purpose! we're not supposed to root for them!) but if they don't because they don't want people to get their hopes up it turns to jokes about two male characters keeping a physical distance because they're not gay. I think everyone would have been better off if Tim shut the idea down back in s3 or s4 at the latest, but I don't know...I guess they wanted to leave the door open (be vague in answering) because they didn't want queer fans to feel bad about seeing something that "isn't intended". (Tim & Kristen know what their intention is, but they'd never tell us we're 'watching it wrong'!)

[oneofthosebells]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you @malinthebodyguard for tagging me! 💜💜 I'm not really on tumblr much at the moment for various reasons, but I can never resist a quiz.

(It's not a secret that oneofthosebells is a burner pseud I created just to write YR fic for Reasons I won't bore you with here, so the below is combined across pseuds.)

How many works do you have on Ao3?

67 (25 fics, 41 vids, 1 podfic)

What's your total Ao3 word count?

Just over 430,000

What fandoms do you write for?

I tend to be monofannish, so only Young Royals right now! My main fandom for a few years before that was Ballum (an EastEnders pairing), and I've written for various other sources over the last 20 years including several one-off fics in tiny fandoms for Yuletide.

Top five fics by kudos:

Incognito Mode - Young Royals

Salt and Vinegar - Ballum

Easy to Love - Ballum

The Picture Thou Hast Made - Ballum

Breaking News, Breaking Free - Young Royals

(Taking the executive decision to exclude my 20-year-old Harry Potter fics from the list above because...well. You know. I won't delete them from the internet because I don't believe in doing that, but honestly, if anyone's still reading them in 2024, ngl, kind of judging you. There are SO MANY fics out there not based on books written by massive transphobes, go read those.)

Do you respond to comments?

Usually! I tend to be all or nothing - I try to reply to every comment, but if I'm struggling to keep up, I sometimes end up not replying to any at all for a few weeks and then it feels daft to reply after that long.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

None! I don't like angsty endings, happy endings all the way round here. Probably the only one that even vaguely counts is Say a Little Prayer, which is a missing moment from canon from a very angsty episode - but even though it ends on a sad note, if you know the show you know they get married a few days later so it's still not that angsty.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hoping that if I can get my writing brain into gear I will soon be able to give several YR fic answers to this question...!

From my non-YR fics...almost all of them? But let's say Beginner's Luck because of the light-hearted romcom vibes throughout. (Or maybe My Heart Won't Let My Feet Do Things They Should Do, because it's not just happy from a ship pov, but also has a character coming to terms with his hearing loss, taking up dance again for the first time since he was 12 AND standing up to his homophobic, ableist dad.)

Do you get hate on fics?

Not recently, doesn't seem to be much of a thing in YR fandom thank goodness! In the past...yeah. (Soap opera fandom is toxic af.)

Do you write smut?

Yep. Not very well. 😂 I put it in stories that seem to need it, but mostly I tend to go for a M rating rather than E because it's really not in my comfort zone to write the explicit stuff. Never written PWP. (I tried to, once, but it ended up full of feelings and a bit of plot anyway!)

Craziest crossover:

Never written a crossover, never really wanted to. I keep my fandoms separate lol.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Hope not! Not aware of it if so.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I'd love to. Me and a friend kicked around an idea a few times, but never came to anything.

All time favourite ship?

Eep. Please don't hate me if I don't say Wilmon! I love them to pieces, I really do, but honestly I hyperfixated on their story and the show as a whole rather than them as a couple if that makes sense (which is probably why I don't really read/write non-royal AUs).

Gun to my head, all time favourite ship: Christian/Syed from EastEnders.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

There are many YR WIPs on my hard drive, but honestly I'm still hoping to finish all of them one day! So I'll say Not Giving In, which I do really want to finish but alas canon kind of killed my love for the characters (especially Jay who plays a big part in the last few chapters), so chances are high I never will. Will be the first and probably only fic I'll ever properly abandon, which I feel gutted about. Blegh.

What are your writing strengths?

Oh god, what a horrible question. 💀 Probably dialogue? Keeping a plot moving along? And people usually seem to like my characterisation, I've had comments in previous fandoms along the lines of 'could be an actual episode of the show' (which I'm taking as a compliment rather than a dig at my unoriginality lol).

What are your writing weaknesses?

Beautiful prose. Metaphor, simile, imagery, description, all of that. None of that's in my wheelhouse at all. If I could get away with writing fics that were 95% dialogue and 5% 'shrugs, nods, stands up, sits down' stage directions I absolutely would.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Eh, I'm not a big fan. With YR fics, I kind of take the view that if you're writing in English, you're essentially translating the entire fic from Swedish into English anyway - so why leave the odd phrase untranslated? It's distracting more than anything else. But it's not a red line or anything, I don't mind it too much in other people's fics.

First fandom you wrote in?

I won't lie: alas, Harry Potter. See above for my feelings on that now.

Favourite fic you've written?

No false modesty here, it's this one: The Picture Thou Hast Made. I wish I'd given it a better title lol as it might have got more attention, but super proud of this fic, probably my best ever attempt at balancing humour, fluff and angst. (Cough, it's an AU that's probably still enjoyable without any canon knowledge, just saying.)

Mind you, one of the YR WIPs currently lurking in my hard drive might just push it into second place... 👀

No pressure tags:

Hmm, lots of people seem to have already done this one! How about @piebingo and @peakotp (no pressure at all) or anyone else who'd like to and hasn't been tagged yet.

[whiskeysmulti]

G O K U D E R A for… you guessed it, Gokudera ((OOC: Vday meme btw))

(     *     VALENTINE’S DAY ALPHABET   !  - accepting!

.Whiskey.

G : GIFT. is your muse good at gift - giving or do they struggle to get it right? I think if he was tasked to do it alone he'd suck at it? If that makes sense. Because I feel like he'd over think it too much and not realize that Haru loves him enough that just spending time with her makes her happy.

O : ODE. does your muse have a way with words? Oh we've seen just how colorful his vocabulary is sometimes. Honestly, I don't think he's that good with his words, as we've seen with all their fights in canon, but as far as our ship development, he's learning I feel to be a bit softer and more patient sometimes.

K : KISS. is your muse a good kisser? why / why not? Fun fact, I always headcanoned that he sucks at it at first because she's his first and he doesn't know what he's doing so they need some practice together, IE: making out. U : UNREQUITED. has your muse had their heart broken? -gestures vaguely at the anime for making him look like Tsuna's lost puppy- verse dependent as I've mentioned I do RP him as bi or at least curious, originally I had a headcanon that he might have had feelings for Tsuna at some point and not been able to freely express it. But reading into the manga more it came across clearer that it wasn't romantic it was loyalty to his Boss as we've discussed, he's very ingrained with mafia culture and heavily yankee coded (the rebel, the bad boy, the street smart kid, etc.) and Mafia code is actually really homophobic in a lot of cases so I scratched the whole Tsuna was his first love thing in favor of there possibly being a girl in Italy once but it was like first unrequited crush when he was just a kid kind of thing or possibly a girl he met when he was still on the streets and it wasn't too serious, but like that feeling of admiration because she might have been the first to treat him kindly. Haru thus far is the first girl in our verses that he's ever been serious about as we've seen how he reacts to his fan girls and others like Shittopi.

D : DATE. what is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc? NGL he's old fashioned so it would probably be dinner and watching the stars or something with Haru, just something relaxing and peaceful as I don't see him being too big on crowds like at bars and such. He's more likely to invite her over to have dinner and watch conspiracy theory videos in our verse for them honestly.

E : EMBRACE. does your muse like hugs? what are their hugs like? Not in public, as we've discussed on discord, he's not big on PDA. But when they're alone, whoo boy. He's a cuddle bug and will hold her for hours if she needs him to, it's just the macho persona he puts on that makes him kinda "later honey, not in front of the boys" about it. But when they're alone he's the one clinging to her. I even headcanon if he's away from her he takes an extra pillow with him to hold at night because he's used to cuddling her and can't sleep without holding something.

R : ROMANCE. is your muse a romantic or a cynic? Cynic turned romantic if that makes sense. Didn't believe he'd ever be like this until he did get into a relationship. Always thought she was stupid for being such a dreamer, and chasing the 10th, which we revealed in our threads as far as plotting goes was because he wanted her all along and was jealous.

A : AFFECTION. how does your muse show affection? As mentioned, he can be a little slow to catch on and rough with her when people are watching, but when they're alone he's holding her, kissing and cuddling, running his fingers through her hair, gazing in her eyes and so on. Absolute putty in her hands.

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

On a more personal angle, of myself through the different fandoms

I think it has more to do with joining Tumblr than the fandoms themselves, but the one thing I do miss about my time in the Genshin fandom was how unserious everything was. We just vibed and did whatever

Dream SMP onwards I've felt a lot more pressure to get characterization and themes right, and never do anything just for the sake of cute or silly or wtv. Just this vague looming sense of judgement all the time that I picked up somewhere along the way that I could really do without and have been trying to unlearn as of late

One thing I really don't miss about my time in the Genshin fandom was the weird dichotomy of "you have to ship this guy with this other guy because everyone does" vibes vs The Homophobes. Because for some reason that was also a thing, at least on Hoyolab in 2020-2021.

Also the weird character age shipping discourse thing. The Lumine/Childe shipping discourse where no one could agree on which of them was too old for the other was kind of hilarious ngl

... I also got far too much of my sex ed from the memes in that fandom (that's where I learned about balls! Don't ask me how I didn't know about them before then, I have no idea). It was probably the most horny fandom I've ever been in actually, now that I think about it.

I've never once considered the possibility of accidentally stumbling across NSFW fanart when trying to find references for an MCYT, but it was common knowledge that that was all you'd get for certain Genshin Characters. You couldn't look at the Hoyolab fanart page without seeing several shirtless dudes, and you couldn't google Mona without seeing her but and boobs all over the place

Warrior Cats also had less pressure for accurate characterization ime, but that might've just been because the parts of it I interacted with just didn't care about canon at all, it was entirely fanmade clans full of OCs with their own storylines divorced of canon. Also it was on Scratch, and everyone there was like 6-12 years old and the worst crime they could conceptualize seemed to bee tracing art. There was a lot of drama around tracing art, actually

I was also still in the Catholic Christian part of my life at that time, and was in an odd space in learning about queer people of not being queerphobic per se, I never really was tbh, so I did like everyone else's gay kitties in their own Warriors games, but I never made any myself and generally coded everything to be exclusively heterosexual. Which was truly a tragedy in hindsight, almost makes me want to make a new one someday, with considerably less heteronormativity and amatanormativity

I also honestly wouldn't mind returning to the DSMP fandom to explore the new more open mindedness to shipping that's been coming about with the fading popularity, tbh.

I'm still intensely aroace, not terribly interested in joining in with general shipping culture, and don't particularly like many of the individual new ships I've been seeing coming about, but I do think it's very interesting to watch and I wouldn't mind seeing some more variety on beeduo and emduo interpretations specifically.

Plus I'm just glad we're all getting over that specific toxicity 'cus it was really cheapening the platonic wonderland it could've been if it weren't such a coerced phenomenon. I hate it when people only do nice things because they're afraid of judgement, rather than just because they like doing them

TMA has also been pretty interesting, with the number of fics exploring relationships and sexuality through a lens of asexuality thanks to Jon's canon ace-ness. I'm solidly not into reading sex itself, but the contexts surrounding it can be pretty interesting to me, and TMA feeling like a safer, more ace friendly place to take some peeks at it has been a nice reassurance that I'm not secretly a prude, and let me see all sorts of different ace and non-ace angles to the whole thing, which is great for my curiosity

I'd love to take some of this nuance with relationships in fandom and fiction as a whole that I've picked up and take it back to Warrior Cats again ngl. If I suddenly get over my project commitment issues there is a good chance I'll actually go back and make a new Warrior Cats game or simulation, either back on Scratch for old times sake, or maybe even with actual coding and stuff to practice that some more, now that I've got some experience with that

It would be kinda neat to make one of those Warrior Cat Life Games the ones so popular back on Scratch, and weave it full of themes about the varieties in relationships and love and family and queerness and stuff,,

The differences in cultures and behaviors between different fandoms is so fascinating to me, I love just musing on the various differences

Back in my Warrior Cats phase on scratch there was barely an single fanart of canon characters, everything was original characters and original clans.

During my time in the Genshin Impact fandom people would play with the various canon character elements to make new characters but there wasn't quite the level of wholly divorced from canon stories there.

There was shipping tho! An absolutely unhinged amount of shipping. Every single character who wasn't a literal child had at least one, maybe two default/mainstream ship partners that most people shipped them with, then a handful of rarer ships as well

Then I moved to Dream SMP 'cus I heard that it had a lot of platonic relationships that were so popular that they made it into the top 100 ao3 ships multiple years in a row, and I was getting pretty romanced out by Genshin at that point so it seemed like a perfect choice.

And it was! Dream SMP had the best platonic relationship representation of any fandom I've been in before or since. But it has the dark flipside to it, where the reason was partially because the fans were freaking off the rails toxic and hostile to the mere suggestion that any character might ever be attracted to another

The Hermitcraft and Life Series are better with platonic relationships than Genshin Impact, but nowhere near as good as DSMP, with the return of a handful of mainstream ships, but not the pressure to have a ship for every single character

Then there's the fascinating ways MCYT fandoms had every characters' designs and even species up in the air and it's common place to just make any random guy part any random animal, which is incredible fun

But then OCs in the MCYT fandom are a whole other thing, as they tend to come most in the Warriors style where they come out of fanmade servers and tend to be fairly divorced from canon most of the time, only generally inspired by the setting

And now in the Magnus Archives fandom we've got the canon ships, with one specific one vastly dominating the whole fandom to even more extremes than any singular Genshin ship ever reached, which I've gathered is a pretty common experience in other fandoms but this has been my first time actually experiencing it first hand

And TMA has a similar thing with Warrior Cats where it works really well as a set of world building that can be shoved upon other fictional characters for some fun AUs, which was never really a thing with MCYT (though I think it kinda was with Genshin Impact, to a degree, where people would draw other characters in Genshin splash art style and assign them Visions and all that.)

Warriors is by far the most extreme of these, up with My Little Pony in terms of how you're almost guaranteed to see at least one fanart of the characters in any fandom drawn as warrior cats/ponies

And then there's the popular AU types! Genshin Impact was chock full of highschool AUs. Dream SMP had Foster Family AUs and Superhero AUs galore (especially with SBI), but it also had a smaller Humans Are Space Orcs / Alien AUs phenomen that I've not been able to find again in my other fandoms since. I never read enough Life Series and Hermitcraft fanfic to get a good grasp on their popular AUs, but various flavour of Modern AU with the characters assigned random jobs seemed common, and they had a lot of Superhero AUs spawned by HoTGuY. TMA is mostly everyone is happy AUs, like No Paranormal Nonsense AUs and Happily Ever After Post Canon AUs, but also a whole heckin' lot of Time Travel (usually fix-it fic) AUs, which is something I never really saw in the other fandoms

I don't have a good ending to this post as there's no real point to it, it's just me babbling about fandoms

[p1f1]

as much as i love commentary videos (i can watch those and video essays non stop for hours), theres a genuine sickness in my stomach when theyre reacting to someone whos being sexist or misogynistic.

ramble below the line, but please check out the ending part.

idk what makes me feel this way, the borderline ridiculous stuff that comes out of their mouth or the fact someone can be so stupid that they say this in todays day and age. and i get that for how modern it is some people still agree with these stupid comments and speeches but there will always be at least a handful of people who agree with whatever.

and yes i do feel this way with any type of discrimination, but it sickens me when i hear about how badly some women, as myself, hate being one. its unfair. sure itll always be that way and "life isnt fair" but still, its just crazy. if youre someone who sees a woman whos complaining about hating being a woman (not because they dont feel comfy in their own body ((or want to be a different gender)), but because they hate how theyre being treated. ), and for some reason thinks theyre being ridiculous, please dont interact with me lmao.

its sad how i feel afraid to walk alone at night or be in a car alone. or go on dates, or talk about this to anyone, or go swimming , or go out in general. nobody, i mean nobody, should have to feel afraid to be out in the world, because thats wrong. especially with todays messed up beauty standards. im not exactly skinny, but at least im trying to change myself. it hurts alot when someone points something you hate about yourself and acts like you dont know. its sad how no matter how pretty or skinny you are youll never be good enough. i hate it. people arent perfect. nobody is. nobody ever will be because thats how humans are.

i have had encounters with sexists. just as any person would. and when someone makes fun of you or mocks you with the reason youre a woman, it doesnt make you feel smart, and its not easy to not let them get to you. genders, races, and sexualities will never be equal to the public. women will always be under men. gay people will always be hated. non white people will always be treated and seen differently. and in my eyes, everyones equal and always will be but me or you will never be able to change someones mind.

and ngl, i used to say i hated men as a joke, but i dont think its much of a joke anymore. younger me would call me weird for hating being a woman but im so glad i wasnt exposed to how gross the world could be sometimes.

this is a rant, but also a reminder. if you are sexist, misogynistic, racist, transphobic, or just a bigot get off of my blog.

im not the best a wording things so, if you think that i see anyone thats not white or gay differently, i promise you youre wrong. im not racist, homophobic, or any of that. this is just much better than me crying to myself about how much i hate humans sometimes.

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also, if youre like me, and think nobodys there for you, or talking about your problems wont help, it will. i had a small talk with a friend and even though it was only a few texts and sentences, i really felt touched. i only talked about my family problems very vaguely. it was a stupid video. 'if you had one wish, what would it be?" i answered something like i wish i could change the way my family sees me and his one word response of "why?" made me so emotional.

friends and friends. people you talk to on a regular basis and people you know want to talk with you are friends, even if you dont think so.

my DM's are always open. even if this only reaches a few or onyl a few see it, you can always dm me on this acc or my other. hell i might not even know your name but just know that i care about you so deeply. i would never want someone as amazing as you to feel down or angry.

so please, if you think that talking about your problems wont help, try it before you say that. it can change decisions you make in the future that youll regret. again, my dm's are open always if youre struggling. i care.

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[tiktaalic]

bro i feel so bad for the gay people of westeros. like. i want to protect them i just can’t. kind of hard to watch rhaenyra’s gay little husband go through that wedding w his boyfriend’s blood literally still on the floor ngl!

little bit! saw the posts pre this week that were like oh book criston homophobe lol and i was like ok well they live in a society where people wear crowns i vaguely remember renly's whole deal i know what that entails adn then. well!

[circular-bircular]

Ough. I’ve… been wanting to make a big post about it to express my discomfort and why it’s uncomfortable. I just feel like it’s not my place as someone who’s vaguely atheist/agnostic/“idk I’ve got trauma about it” religion wise.

For me, it makes me uncomfortable, as I was always taught to see the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost as a belief. Yes, God is real and Jesus was real, and the Holy Ghost was real, but… they’re also beliefs and structures that gave us meaning and purpose beyond just the physical representations of these people. God isn’t just the God; God is the goodness we do and the just and the right.

So now, to see people (who are largely not part of that religion) “headcanon” God as one person with plurality, rather than 3 separate people/beliefs, it just. Rubs me the wrong way. It makes me viscerally uncomfortable. Someone being plural is inherently multiple beings in one body. Did God absorb his son? /hj

I don’t really care what people individually believe. I personally view (when I’m feeling particularly Christian) the physical self of God as an androgynous neopronoun user who fucked off and left his transgender pansexual son to deal with the world, and I know that would turn a few heads in the church. But the fact is, those who are talking about God being an endogenic system right now… it doesn’t feel like people discussing an actual religious belief system, or engaging with the religion in a way to gain more understanding. From what I’ve seen it’s people either making fun of Christianity (which is getting exhausting ngl), treating Christianity like it’s a fandom (a belief system is not the same as Blorbo from your shows), or it’s people who are only doing it because of how it upsets people.

I’ll admit to laughing at some of the heresy/blasphemy on tumblr. But the people making those jokes aren’t doing it to purposefully hate on Christianity. In the course of this headcanoning business, I saw people once again assuming all Christians are straight white homophobic/transphobic assholes who would never set foot in a plural space… all while putting theology in those plural spaces while calling it a headcanon? It just feels really like someone punching the gut of my inner child (not my littles, but the wonderment I used to have for life) who still believes in God. Like.

I don’t know. I haven’t been able to find the good words for it all. Hence why I haven’t made a big huge post. I don’t mind those who believe God to be plural — have fun. I just don’t like it being shaped as a Headcanon That Pisses Off The Anti-Endos and Bigots when it does hurt to see, even as someone who doesn’t even identify with the religion anymore.

This is stupid but I've seen it twice now so I'm genuinely curious: why do some people take such offense to calling God plural/making plural jokes about Christianity? Gang, they've got billions of followers and two thousand years of history, I don't think making blasphemous jokes on tumblr dot gov is going to seriously offend the pope.

(Now granted, I am an ex-christian so maybe I enjoy blasphemous jokes of any variety, but to be fair, I make dick jokes about the gods of my actual current religion. So.)

[dreamhot]

missing pride mcc to hangout with my vague my homophobic extended family feels like a hate crime ngl

i am So sorry i wish u could be free to watch the event instead

[skinks]

hey so IN YOUR OPINION is eddie aware that he's gay? like does he know and just choose not to do anything about it, or has he pushed it down so far that he just sees richie for the first time in 27 years and is like 'ah, ok, he's just so objectively attractive that i, a straight man, want to lick his tonsils. in a totally heterosexual way.' because as a disaster lesbian i spent a long time assuming that everyone just agreed that women were hot, and he seems like a kindred spirit lol

khkgdkg good question!!! Sorry in advance for me not shutting up about this!! IN MY OPINION Eddie’s not fully, One Hundred Percent aware he’s gay, no, not until during or after reckoning with It the second time. But it’s a little muddier than just knowing and choosing not to do anything about it?

I think that because of his mother’s all-encompassing manipulation and emotional abuse, Eddie has trouble interpreting things about the world and about himself without someone else to tell him. That’s why he can be a little more naive and gullible than the others sometimes. 

I think... he’s particularly scared of the psychosexual components of Its terrorizing specifically because he knows there’s something lurking under the surface of his day-to-day existence that he doesn’t yet understand, and doesn’t have the internal language to describe. There’s a couple of lines when he’s remembering the hobo/leper scenes that go:

Come back here, kid, the hoarse voice whispered. I’ll blow you for free. Come back here!

No, Eddie moaned at it. Please, go away. I don’t want to think about that.

With a gay reading of his subtext you can interpret this (as I do) as Eddie literally refusing to acknowledge what it means for him to have been propositioned by a man for a homosexual act. I think Eddie’s powers of belief manifestation are stronger than most because he’s been so sheltered, that’s why his battery acid trick works so well. It’s why he’s so susceptible to placebos. It then works in direct opposition too -  if he denies something hard enough it will cease to be real. By appearing as a leper that resembles the hobo who offered to fellate him, Pennywise is targeting something Eddie’s only vaguely aware of in the moments he might look too long and too differently at the boys and men in his life. 

I think he’d gain A TON more self-awareness after the events of their first Enclownter, to the point where he would understand he likes boys. Much like your experience, I think he might still assume those feelings are universal. Especially since Derry fosters such an outwardly homophobic environment, and since this is either the 50s or the 80s, he’d probably think that because he’s not an effeminate stereotype then he couldn’t possibly be gay. 

Then he regresses after leaving Derry and the Forgettening happens. He loses his ties to the people who helped him be more self-sufficient and able to process his own thoughts/feelings without manipulation. 

He enters a relationship with Myra almost identical to the one with his mother in terms of, like, decision-making and lack of autonomy. And maybe he feels stirrings when he thinks about men at the gym, or at college, or scruffy comedians on TV, and he knows what that means on some level. Eddie’s not stupid, but he has fallen back into the rut of shutting down his true feelings for the good of the stability of his marriage, his image, his own comfort. He uses prescription drugs to cope! Again, if he denies and represses this fundamental part of himself hard enough, it can’t be real. It can’t infect and ruin things. It can’t get him.

This is all why it’s such a huge fucking deal for him to come back to Derry and realise, oh shit. These are the people who didn’t tell him what to do or eat or like or think, the people with whom he was free enough to feel his feelings at their greatest capacity. Feelings like his stomach somersaulting out of his dick when he play-wrestled with that same scruffy comedian back in 1992, and actually understanding what that meant for Eddie’s life before he was taken from that life and transplanted, adrift, in a new one with no map.

Ngl i find it kind of difficult to understand this part of Eddie’s character. I’ve known and understood I was bisexual from a really young age, and I find it very hard to grasp how someone can’t know something so big about themselves, especially as an adult. Though it does help to delve into how he grew up and how it affected his thought processes. Like what a mess 😬

It’s interesting though because I think Richie develops in direct contrast to Eddie - Richie is the master of self-perception and uses it as a tool to get ahead in life.

Richie knows (well enough) what all of his various issues are, including the fact that he’s gay. He’s the one who knows and chooses not to do anything about it and to consciously live a lie. It’d make for some REAL JUICY CONFLICT for them to address that difference in a fic (I actually wrote out dialogue months ago for a massive argument about this topic and I’d like to use it in a story one day... some day...)

Anyway, tl;dr I don’t think Eddie Kaspbrak is fully, consciously aware of his sexuality as a gay man until after he returns to Derry and remembers why he is the way that he is, and why he thinks the way that he thinks. He is an anxious and confusing little puzzle and I love him and can’t stop talking about him, thank you

[hopeshoodie]

@ariendiel​ came up with this idea and I think it’s SO funny so here’s the LITG s2 Islanders as anon hate that I’ve (and ariendiel) received

Also this post is a haha funnie laugh jokey joke so if you’re going into it intending to get angry maybe don’t click read more…………

Blake

Personal insult that is super out of touch because she’s actually really pretty, plus a lot of exaggeration? That’s Blake’s brand for sure. Blake doesn’t care if it’s true, it just feels good for her to hurl it at someone else. 2/10 didn’t land the way I’m sure she meant it to, just came off as random and lazy.

Carl

He gets annoyed easily and doesn’t have tolerance for people he doesn’t like. Carl absolutely doesn’t know how to block/ignore someone he doesn’t like, instead preferring to lurk and get his feelings hurt. The passive aggressiveness is 100% his brand, 7/10. 

Chelsea

I know this one isn’t a hate message but I hated it 😂 Chelsea would say this and she’d mean it as a compliment- if you were getting along better with someone awful like Levi or Jasper she’d say ~~~oooh I think he likes you~~~. Chelsea never means to say unkind things, but she certainly can carelessly say things in the moment that stick with you and upset you. 9/10 I was able to make a bunch of memes.

((Sidenote: I know this was a joke and I don’t hold anything personally against you LMAO. tbh I don’t hold anything personally against any of these anons even though I think their actions are childish and cringey))

Elisa

Just like the gossip sneezer argument, this one is just her projecting onto people. Elisa loves sticking her nose where it has no reason to be and lashing out when she gets caught doing that, so this is super on brand for her. Anon is clearly going through something just like Elisa. 1/10 if you’re going to proclaim something at least have evidence to back it up. 

Felix

Low-effort, trying to be edgy, super extreme and carless for no real reason? That’s Felix babey. 0/10 do better.

Gary

He’s actually right- people who cloak bad takes in academic language to make the person they disagree with sound smart are terrible. Unfortunately, he’d get validated on this once and then start throwing it around to anyone who sounds vaguely academic and who he disagrees with- he’s not great at nuances. Ultimately, he betrays that he doesn’t care about the issue at hand, he’s just reactionary and thinks a person is ‘gross’ or ‘bad’. 6/10 there’s a point to be had here, but he fumbles the application and explanation.

Hannah

The :3 is just really on brand and plus Hannah has no self-awareness about her own writing so insulting other people would 100% be her go to. 5/10, it wasn’t true, but the execution redeems it.

Hope

She doesn’t snap at random people often, but when she does her insults are targeting your insecurities and super pithy in execution. Ngl this one hurt a little bit, just like Hope yelling at me would make me cry. It’s got the right amount of anger behind it too. 8/10 simple but had the right amount of forethought to get the job done. 

Jo

((Sidenote: I censored and cropped this one before posting it, the original was full of a ton of hate speech and explicatives, but it was basically saying ‘you support blm? I’m going to say a bunch of horrible shit and call you dumb!’)) 

This one is Jo, for sure. She’s so straight she still thinks ‘don’t have kids’ is an insult, and she has no qualms about being ableist, transphobic, fatphobic, and homophobic all in an ask that was originally in response to a police brutality post. Jo also thinks she’s being really smart and logical, when really she’s just acting like a 13 year old boy who just joined debate club and thinks he’s really good at it because he speaks in a monotone voice.  -2/10, a prime Karen ask. 

Kassam

Y’know, Kassam is pretty observant and will only insult people passive-aggressively with well thought out comments. He’s usually a lot more sparing with his sarcasm, but when something really gets under his skin he can’t let it go. 9/10, this is probably the best insult on here but if it’s really the best that is to be had I feel pretty good about myself tbh

Lottie

She loves to think that everything revolves around her and overanalyze everything that people she doesn’t like do. Lottie’s the kind of person who makes a big stink about unfollowing someone, then lowkey stalks their blog to find things to be upset about. For context, someone sent a bunch of asks mad about my Bobby/Noah fic then got mad that I didn’t reply to their hate anon. It wasn’t about you, babes, I was in the forest climbing rocks ‘n shit. But also the entitlement of expecting someone to platform you even if you’re being unreasonable? That’s Lottie babey. 7/10 because I like the idea of you putting way more thought into this nonsense than I did. 

Marisol

This is Marisol 100%, from the Bad Takes on gender/fandom to the willful misinterpretation of someone she refuses to engage with in good faith. When you argue with Marisol, she’s going to twist your words and paint herself as the victim. In the same way, this ask was in response to a fluffy domestic ficlet I posted about Bobby/Noah that didn’t sexualize them. I also only ship Lurik and Bobby/Lucas (and mostly post about straight or wlw relationships), so saying I ship ‘every male character’ is a lie and ‘regardless of chemistry’ is a stretch- both those pairings have SO much chemistry. Marisol would 100% see a lesbian that she didn’t like and hurl her tumblr vocabulary at them to try and paint them as a villain, she’s just that vindictive and spiteful. It’s a pretty shitty character trait to have, though, and she should really take a breath and more critically examine her own impulse to react that way……… 3/10 at least it can be a learning moment.

Noah

First of all, Noah is boring. He’s a dweeby little nerd who likes Homestuck, reptiles, reading, and healthy relationships with his masculinity and family. It doesn’t get much less edgy than that, but we adore him anyways. So the ask is based in truth, but bungles the execution (and also isn’t really that big of a deal to begin with?) As for this being an insult he’d come up with, he’s pretty lame with colorful language and doesn’t really know how to create a good insult, so he’d default to something weak like this. 0/10, didn’t actually upset anyone, and didn’t manage to be funny in the meantime.

Priya

She doesn’t know how to cope with mistakes or conflict, her own or otherwise, and so her solution is to just wish things away. She doesn’t know how to mind her own business and gets swept up in self-righteousness altogether. Didn’t really hurt my feels or make me feel anything though, so 2/10.

Rocco

Childish, poorly thought out, and lacking critical thinking. I’ll give Rocco a bit more credit than anon though, he knows what he’s doing is wrong but doesn’t care enough to fix it. I’m assuming anon is 100% caught up in their ‘stanning’ of a character to not take other people disagreeing personally. But Rocco definitely gets caught up in being annoyed in much a similar way. 3/10, not super convincing or creative.

[fffarore]

permission to be cringe on main but the author of my fav series died so...let me ramble my thoughts lol

berserk as a series and my relationship to it is sooo complicated (like many) so the death of miura is kinda hard to process ngl!!!

it’s a classic case of ‘author is so homophobic and misogynistic that they accidentally make the most compelling gay love story’ b/c my GOD there is sooo much wrong with berserk. the misogyny, the homophobia, the sexism, the pure amount of sexualized and gratified rape scenes, like...it’s so fucking BAD and i can’t recommend the series to anyone while still having a clear conscious lol

but for the ppl who have read/watched it, especially the ppl who see the heeeavy homoerotic undertones.....my god, it really is fantastic. berserk is one of those pieces of media that has the power to change you, i am not the same person i was before i discovered berserk, and i KNOW a lot of ppl feel the same way. the amazing story telling, the themes, the tragedy, the art style....it all comes together to create this insanely flawed but INSANELY good story. (berserk is a gay tragedy, like...i don’t care if ppl disagree lol it’s too homoerotic to overlook)

the story isn’t even over yet! apparently it was approaching it’s back half, and tbh...i wasn’t happy with the direction of the story for a long time, so i’m actually kinda of...vaguely satisfied with how things were left. i don’t think i would like for any assistants to try and continue the story, even if it means my otp (griffguts, not willing to discourse over this lol) will never meet again.

i have been a fan for about 6 years, i have merch, i have and continue to draw fanart, i have two (2) separate berserk fan blogs, i have gotten into media purely because it was the inspiration for berserk or was influenced by berserk, i have had my taste and my standards forever changed by berserk and it’s just....over, so abruptly. obvs i can still reread the manga and rewatch the anime and movies and finish the video game (which i will lmao), but there’s this huge sense of loss.

i have shed legit tears over this lol and i’m sure i will shed more but idk what else to say. it feels silly being in mourning over a mangaka’s passing but here we are

[aardvaark]

Trans people haven't done shit for me here in Korea. Go fuck yourself you disgusting homophobic, racist bigot

i... assume this was in response to me saying that TERFs who are gay/bi/pan/etc are a negative effect on the trans people in the LGBTQ+ community. trans people are part of the LGBTQ+ community, alongside all LGB people. i don’t know your personal experience, but honestly? you don’t know mine either. yet you’ve decided to come on here hiding behind being anonymous, and tell me, a bi person, i’m homophobic. ngl i don’t know exactly what i did that you are calling racist and bigoted because the post was solely about transphobia, but please feel free to actually tell me rather than claiming a one-sentence post about my experiences with TERFs is making me homophobic, racist and bigoted.

like always, i welcome any POC voices who tell me i have said or done anything unhelpful or racist, same goes for anything under the ‘bigoted’ label like ableism, but please don’t vague in my inbox about a trans post with no explanation but that you haven’t been helped by us, telling me to go fuck myself. 

[calocera]

SPOILERS FOR CATS 2019, here’s my hot takes and opinions

be warned, THIS IS LOOOONG

First off my overall opinion, i LITERALLY cannot say whether it was good or bad, like lots of critics say it just...is beyond that. It’s VERY fun and that’s all I can bring myself to say, I have LOTS of problems with it but I can’t even say that they make the movie bad. It is definitely worth watching

OPINIONS ON CHARACTERS:

Victoria: she’s good! I appreciate that they kinda left her personality blank other than her innocence since that’s pretty much how she always was, still not super thrilled with her as a main character but franchesca did the best she could

Munkustrap: I loved him! he was more of a main character than I would have expected, but they STILL cut all the charm from his lines... why do I love him then? Robbie fairchild did AMAZING background acting, whenever he was in frame he was always doing something SUPER munkustrap-y and making cute dad faces. he was dealt bad lines but he worked around it best he could. Also his legs were normal so...epic fail

Mistoffelees: 😒😒😒😒😒🤢🤢🤮 disappointed but not at all surprised...he was just a Woobie, a softboy uwu nice guy. I felt like I was seeing fanon 2013 loki in cat form. THEY MADE HIS SONG A SADBOY PITY PARTY SONG...WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THE 11 O’CLOCK NUMBER SLOW AND SAD???? Where is the smug little shit who’s vague and aloof yet confident and joyous? He was murdered by his evil homophobic shadow clone. I’m not even gunna indulge the fact that him and Victoria were a thing, I’ll go over that later. He also just constantly looked like the crying cat meme his eyes were so red and watery it was horrifying, yet somehow he wasn’t the worst character , that leads us too.....

tugger: what.the.fuck.did.you.do.to.this.boy. HE GOT THE TREATMENT I EXPECTED FOR MUNKUSTRAP! HE WAS DEMOTED TO BACKGROUND CHARACTER! not only did he not sing mr. mistoffelees, he literally did nothing other than his song, he never interacted with ANY characters besides jenny in 1 scene. I know cats has no set main characters but he’s undoubtedly one of the most important characters and he’s like...the least important named character in the movie. ALSO Jason Derulo was not sexy at all. There was NO hip thrusting NO sexy meowing NO glamrock, he was just an asshole and if I hadn’t already seen the original I would have either completely forgotten about his character or though he was the worst character. I’m so fucking angy I cannot express.

Girzzabella: ngl I expected better. Her acting was great but with the horrible effects I couldnt get invested but I’ll touch on the effects later. Her singing was good, but I expected it to carry the movie and it wasn’t at all the best song in the movie, I’d say she’s about as good as I expected she’d be but the movie itself was more enjoyable than I expected so she was less significant

Old d: she was fine, she LOOKED the part definitely, she didn’t have as large a presence as ken page but I wouldnt expect that of her. Her singing wasn’t the greatest though, her voice is fine by it’s just NOT suited to old d’s songs. I would have preferred she play a female gus bc her voice is very sweet and frail, not at all built for belting like her songs required.

Macavity: he’s just...eh. He’s basically a comic relief villain which sucks. He does practically nothing besides kidnap people, say a cheesy line, and act like a caricature of a 90s cartoon villain (and not one of the fun ones) like theres a scene where he poofs away and when he does it he goes, MACAvityyyyyyy and fades away its so unintentionally funny but it just makes him so lame as a villain. not to mention he doesnt even die at the end or get any satisfying conclusion he just gets stuck on top of a statue and his powers suddenly stop working (for some reason??)

Bombalurina: fuck that, I am simultaneously glad she only was in the macavity number bc fuck off Taylor Swift but also disappointed bc she deserved so much better.

Bustopher: 😟 never in my darkest nightmares did I think I’d see bustopher Jones deepthroat multiple crayfish but here we are. Somehow THIS was the most sexual song, I cannot begin to name the fetishes checked off by this performance bc itd hit word limit. Let me just say that I said multiple times out loud, “damn bustopher kinda a freak with it 😏😏” like I CANNOT stress how weirdly sexual it gets. And ofc its all otherwise just haha funney fat guy eat food and burp and fall down. He also breaks the fourth wall a few times which like, fuck you

Jenny: exactly what was shown in the trailer. Unfunny fat jokes and slapstick humor. Also they focused WAY too many shots on her cat pussy and I wish I was making that up. Also of note is that the cgi on the rats and cockroaches are drastically worse than the rest of the movie, like not just bad designs the effects are BAD. also they translated they whole gumbie cat fur-shedding as her wearing fake skin over her outfit which would be fine but UHH the fake fur is skin tight??? so it literally looks like shes ripping off her skin and she does it multiple times its fucking terrifying

Mungojerrie and rumpelteazer: meh, they are fine as characters, not quite as energetic as I would have liked but they didn’t massively fuck anything up? The song was horrible, they went against the beat for...some reason? Like it’s a song with a very distinct rhythm and they split up the lyrics so weirdly. I liked that they followed through with the lore of them working for macavity

Skimbleshanks: YES YESSSSSSSSSS HOLY FUCKING SHIT 💗💕💖💞💜😳😳😳😳😳😳😳💜💛🧡💚💖❤️💗 i absolutely CANNOT express how good skimbleshanks made me feel. He looks like a leather daddy with his chains and suspenders and hat and stache, I hate that I’m saying this but uh...mr skimbleshanks sir😳 we were actually screaming it was so fucking good. Watching this movie was worth it just for skimble. Unironically. I’m listening to the song as we speak. It was kinda weird that they moved the tap dancing to this song but that’s more of a detractor from Jennie’s and a plus side to skimbles since it’s good tap

Gus: good! Ian did a good job of course, no one doubted that he would.

Growltiger and griddlebone: not racist but still absolutely horrifying. One of the worst parts of the movie, I actually got squeamish looking at griddlebone a few times that’s how bad she looks

Everyone else: not that good. I couldn’t tell who was who, all their personalities were annoying, I’m on imdb as we speak trying to figure out who even was supposed to be who. Demeter is completely butchered and jemima just isn’t there, doesn’t sing her part, it all sucked man.

Tech talk:

CGI: okay so here’s the thing, the effects are good. GREAT even, the issue is how fucking horrible the designs are. The lack of cat nose, mouth, and hairy cheeks makes them all look disgusting. Also the feet. Holy fuck why do they have feet. THERES A FUCKING SCENE WHERE TUGGER GRABS VICTORIAS FOOT AND SNIFFS IT. IT LASTS LIKE 5 SECONDS. Old Deuteronomy, Gus, and Cassandra (bc she was already bald) are the only characters I’d say look anywhere close to decent, grizabella looks okay in profile but head on it’s all horrible again. its really such a shame bc the sets are gorgeous! i really hope this movie gets some form of recognition for its sets.

the editing and directing was DOGSHITTTTTTT there are SO many scenes where characters just teleport or parts where people are singing and no ones mouths are moving its really distracting

Other things:

it’s OBVIOUS that the critics calling this movie horny have never seen the original. I’d definitely say the movie is LESS HORNY than the play. It IS however waaaaaaay more uncomfortable with its hornieness, so I’d say in that regard YES, the horny stuff is much more gratuitous and off putting despite there being an overall smaller amount than the play. ie everything bustopher jones does

They changed a BUNCH of lyrics for some reason?? Like they cut verses which I understand but there are like a handful of lyrics in almost every song they just...change. like...okay? All changing lyrics is gunna do is make people who knew the songs frustrated when they can’t sing along

the dancing was incredible! shame the cg just fucking invalidates all of it bc your mind doesnt register it as real people doing real moves

OKAY THE FUCKING CATNIP SCENE so when taylor swift showers everyone in catnip they all just fucking start moaning and go FULL HORNY its TOO MUCH like misto full on does an o face like eyes rolled back mouth open  and munkustrap is like ass up panting i still havent processed it im fucking terrified to encounter it again. they cut the orgy? yet added THIS??? k

WHY did they take 2 of the most iconic characters who FREQUENTLY interact and just

a. Never even have them make eye contact

b. Make 1 a background character

c. Completely change the personality of the other one

On the topic of Victoria/misto: I am just still at a loss as to why they thought it’d be a good idea? They completely removed Plato and for what? This? Pathetic. It’s worth noting the weirdly munkustrap has WAYYY more chemistry with both Victoria AND mistoffelees then they did with each other (there’s a part where it looks like misto and munk are about to kiss for some reason?? munk ALSO gets all touchy feely with skimbleshanks???) anyways munkustrap king moments

tldr; its worth watching, the best parts were the sets, the dancing, skimbleshanks, and munkustrp fucking CARRIES the weight of the world with his face acting. the worst things were a big fat tie between bustopher, tugger,misto,jenny,growltiger and griddlebone, and the godawful design choices