#This feels like a scene out of Ember's life for sure

[thollandsgirl2013]

I have an idea for a mob tom fanfic it's where Tom and the reader are best friends ( since childhood) but she doesn't know that he's a mob boss. Tom has been secretly in love with her but doesn't want to pursue her due to all the danger that she will be in. One day, a rival of toms figures out that she is Tom's weakness and decides to kidnap her

Thanks for the request! Hope you enjoy it. Sorry it took so long.

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐈𝐧 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬

Parings → Mob! Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings → fluff, kidnapping, violence, angst, happy ending.

Summary → Tom saves you from his rival and finally confesses his feelings.

(gif not mine)

You wiped your hands on your apron, glancing at the clock above the café counter. Five minutes until closing. As you started stacking chairs, the familiar chime of the doorbell rang.

“Cutting it close, aren’t we?” You teased without looking, already knowing who it was.

“Had to see my favorite barista before the day ended,” Tom quipped, strolling in with that infuriatingly smug grin of his.

You rolled your eyes. “You’re lucky I don’t charge you double for all the ‘favors’ you ask for.”

“Favors? Darling, I call it your way of expressing undying devotion.”

“Undying devotion?” You echoed, crossing your arms. “Don’t flatter yourself, Holland.”

He laughed, a warm, rich sound that never failed to make you smile, even when you didn’t want to. Tom had always been like this—cocky, confident, and impossible to resist.

“Come on,” he said, grabbing a stool and sitting across from you. “Let me at least walk you home tonight. Can’t have you wandering the streets alone.”

You shook your head, already used to his overprotectiveness. “I’m perfectly capable of walking home, you know.”

“I know,” he said, his tone softening as he leaned forward. “But I’d feel better if I came with you.”

“Why? Afraid someone’s going to kidnap me?” You teased.

Tom froze for the briefest second, his jaw tightening before he forced a smile. “Something like that.”

You frowned, sensing the tension beneath his playful tone. “Tom, are you—”

“I’m fine,” he cut in, standing abruptly. “Let’s get going, yeah?”

---------

Across the street, hidden in the shadows, Vincent and his men watched the scene unfold.

“There she is,” Vincent muttered, his gaze fixed on you as you walked out of the café with Tom. “The infamous best friend.”

One of his men chuckled. “She doesn’t look like much.”

“No, but she seems everything to Holland,” Vincent said, a cruel smile spreading across his face. “You see the way he looks at her? Like she’s the last good thing in his life. That makes her valuable. Makes her a weapon.”

He took a long drag from his cigarette, the ember glowing in the darkness. “We’ll hit him where it hurts. And when he’s broken, we’ll take everything else.”

------------

The smell of damp concrete and rust filled your nostrils as you woke, disoriented and aching. The sharp edges of zip ties cut into your wrists, and the cold metal chair beneath you offered no comfort.

You blinked, trying to focus on your surroundings. The warehouse was dimly lit, shadows flickering along the walls.

“Well, well,” a voice drawled, breaking the silence. “Look who’s finally awake.”

You turned to see a man stepping out of the shadows, his smirk sending a chill down your spine.

“Who the hell are you?” You demanded, your voice hoarse but steady.

“The guy who’s going to bring your little boyfriend to his knees,” he said, his grin widening.

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” you snapped, your mind racing.

“Don’t play dumb,” he said, pulling out a chair and sitting across from you. “Tom Holland. Your precious boy. He’d do anything for you, wouldn’t he?”

Your heart sank, but you kept your expression neutral. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure you don’t,” he sneered. “We’ve been watching you two. Laughing over coffee, walking home together like you don’t have a care in the world. Makes me sick, honestly. But it’s sweet, in a way. You’re his Achilles’ heel.”

“Tom isn’t—” you started, but he cut you off.

“Don’t bother denying it,” he said. “We’ve seen enough to know the truth. And now, we’re going to use you to destroy him.”

He pulled out a phone, dialing a number. You stayed quiet, your mind racing. Panic clawed at you, but you shoved it down. If what they said was true—if Tom was really involved in something dangerous—then you couldn’t afford to lose your cool.

The phone connected, and you heard Tom’s voice on the other end.

“Holland,” he said, his tone sharp.

“Evening, Tommy boy,” the man said, grinning. “Guess who I’ve got here with me?”

You met his gaze, defiance burning in your chest. You wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of seeing you scared.

“Tom, don’t come,” you said firmly, cutting through the man’s taunts. “They’re trying to use me against you. It’s not worth it.”

“Y/n?” Tom’s voice softened, but there was an edge of steel beneath it. “Are you hurt?”

“No,” you said quickly. “But—”

The man yanked the phone away, smirking. “Touching. Really. But here’s the deal, Holland. You come alone, or she dies.”

“Vincent, if you harm her—”

“Save the threats,” Vincent said, hanging up.

---------

The warehouse was eerily silent as Tom stepped inside, his movements confident and deliberate. His sharp suit, tousled hair, and cold expression gave him an air of power that made even Vincent hesitate.

“You actually came alone,” Vincent noted, circling him like a predator.

“Of course,” Tom said, his tone casual. “You’d be dead already if I hadn’t.”

Vincent laughed, though it sounded forced. “Big talk for a man who’s outnumbered.”

Tom’s gaze flickered to you, tied to the chair but glaring daggers at your captors. Relief flashed in his eyes for a moment before his mask slipped back into place.

“You alright, love?” He asked, his voice soft.

“Fine,” you said firmly. “Just waiting to get free and go home.”

Tom smirked. “That’s my girl.”

Before Vincent could react, Tom moved.

He grabbed the nearest man, twisting his arm and using him as a shield as bullets erupted around the room. In the chaos, Tom disarmed another man, delivering a brutal punch that sent him sprawling.

You watched in awe as Tom took down Vincent’s men with ruthless efficiency, his movements quick and precise.

When the last man fell, Tom turned to Vincent, who was cowering near the door.

“You made a mistake,” Tom said, advancing on him. “And now you’re going to pay for it.”

----------

Tom knelt in front of you, his hands surprisingly gentle as he cut through the zip ties.

“Y/n,” he said softly, his fingers brushing your wrists. “I’m sorry. This shouldn’t have happened.”

“You think?” You snapped, though your anger was tempered by the relief of seeing him alive. “How long were you going to keep this from me?”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Forever, if I could.”

“Tom,” you said, your voice cracking. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want you to look at me like that,” he admitted, his voice raw. “Like you’re scared of me.”

“I’m not scared of you,” you said firmly, grabbing his hand. “I’m scared for you. If this is your life, Tom, what’s going to stop them from coming after you again? Or me?”

“I’ll protect you,” he said, his tone resolute. “Always.”

You wanted to believe him. And maybe, despite everything, you did.

“Let’s go to my place. Your flat might not be safe right now,” Tom said softly, wrapping his arm protectively around your shoulder.

You didn’t respond, staring straight ahead instead. Fury boiled inside you, but you forced yourself to stay silent. Not here. Not until you were somewhere safe.

The car ride was quiet, the hum of the engine filling the tense air. Tom’s fingers occasionally flexed against the steering wheel, a sign of his own nerves. The streets were familiar at first, but as he drove further, the landscape changed. Soon, towering gates loomed in front of a sprawling mansion.

“This isn’t your flat, Tom,” you said, your voice sharp. “Where are we?”

Tom glanced at you but kept driving as the gates opened automatically. “It’s my mansion, darling. Every Holland has their own mansion.”

You stared at him, mouth slightly agape. The words felt surreal. This boy—the one you’d known since middle school, who teased you over coffee and shared fries with you after school—had a mansion.

You knew Tom came from a wealthy family. The Hollands owned Holland Inc., a global empire, but he’d always seemed so grounded, so�� normal. Now, you weren’t sure who he was anymore.

The car came to a stop, and Tom quickly got out, opening your door. You stepped out reluctantly, your eyes scanning the grand property. The mansion was breathtaking, with intricate stonework, massive windows, and sprawling gardens illuminated by soft golden lights.

“Come on,” he urged, gently guiding you inside.

The interior was even more overwhelming—high ceilings, elegant chandeliers, and furniture that screamed luxury. You sank into a massive leather couch in the living room, feeling utterly out of place. Tom knelt in front of you, his hands hovering as if unsure whether to touch you.

“Do you need anything? Are you hurt? Did they—did they do anything to you?” His voice was a rapid-fire mix of concern and panic.

You stared at him, heart pounding. The worry in his eyes was real, but it wasn’t enough to suppress the storm brewing inside you.

“Do I need anything?” You repeated, your voice rising. “Yeah, Tom, I need answers! What the hell was that? Who were those men? Why did they kidnap me? What you're involved in? And how—how do you have a mansion?”

“Darling—”

“No!” You cut him off, standing abruptly. “Don’t you ‘Darling’ me! You’ve been lying to me, Tom! All these years, all this time, you’ve been hiding this entire life from me. And now I’m supposed to just… what? Sit here and act like everything’s fine?”

Tom ran a hand through his hair, frustration evident. “I wasn’t lying—”

“Not telling me is the same as lying!” you snapped. “I thought I knew you, Tom. But clearly, I don’t. So start talking. Who were those men? Were they business rivals? Criminals? What are you involved in?”

Tom stood, pacing the room. “It’s complicated.”

You let out a bitter laugh. “Complicated? Oh, that’s rich. Try me, Tom. I’ve just been kidnapped, threatened, and used as bait. I think I can handle ‘complicated.’”

He stopped, turning to face you. “They weren’t business rivals.”

“Then who—”

“They were after me because of my other work,” he admitted, his voice low.

Your stomach dropped. “Other work?”

Tom hesitated, his jaw clenching. “I… I do things. For my family. To protect what’s ours.”

“What does that mean?” You asked, your voice trembling.

“I handle threats. People who try to destroy us, take what’s ours, or hurt the people we care about,” he said, his eyes locking with yours. “That’s why they came after you. They thought they could use you to get to me.”

You stepped back, shaking your head. “So what? You’re some kind of… Mobstar?”

Tom sighed, running a hand down his face. “Kind of?”

“Kind of, Tom?” You demanded. “Because from where I’m standing, it sounds a lot like you’re living in some mob movie, and I’ve been dragged into it without even knowing!”

“I didn’t want you involved,” he said, his voice cracking. “I kept it from you to keep you safe.”

“Well, that worked out great,” you said bitterly, gesturing to yourself. “Do you even realize how terrified I was? Not just for me, but for you? I thought—God, Tom, I thought they were going to kill you!”

Tom closed the distance between you, his hands reaching for yours. “I’m sorry. I swear, Y/n, I never wanted this to happen. I thought I could keep you out of it. I thought I could protect you.”

You pulled your hands away, tears stinging your eyes. “Protect me? Tom, you can’t protect me if you don’t let me in. You’re not invincible. You can’t keep carrying this on your own.”

“I can’t lose you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’re the only good thing in my life, Y/n. The only thing that keeps me sane.”

Your heart ached at the raw vulnerability in his voice, but it didn’t erase the betrayal you felt. “Then stop shutting me out,” you said softly. “If you want me in your life, Tom, you can’t keep lying to me. I deserve the truth, no matter how ugly it is.”

Tom stared at you, his eyes searching yours. Finally, he nodded. “Alright. No more lies. No more secrets.”

You swallowed hard, nodding back. “Good. Because I can’t do this if I don’t know what I’m up against.”

“I’ll tell you everything,” he promised, his hand hovering near yours. “Just… don’t walk away from me.”

You hesitated, then let him take your hand. “I’m still here, aren’t I?”

For the first time that night, Tom smiled. It was small and tentative, but it was enough.

Tom hesitated, before taking your hands in his, his thumb brushing over your knuckles as if grounding himself. There was something more—something he was struggling to say.

“I need to tell you another secret,” he murmured, his voice low and unsteady. “And after this… there will be no more secrets. I promise.”

Your brow furrowed, a mix of curiosity and trepidation stirring in your chest. “What is it, Tom?”

He took a deep breath, his eyes darting away for a moment before locking back onto yours. You’d never seen him this vulnerable before, and it made your heart ache despite the storm of emotions still swirling inside you.

“I, um… I really…I mean.... I--” He stumbled over his words, his usual confident demeanor cracking.

“Spill it, Tom,” you said, a hint of impatience creeping into your voice.

“I love you, Y/n,” he blurted out, the words tumbling out in a rush like he’d been holding them back for years. “Not just as my best friend. I love you as someone I want to be with. I want you to be my future.”

The room fell silent, the weight of his confession pressing down on you. His eyes searched yours desperately, as if trying to gauge your reaction, as if the entire world hung on the next words you’d say.

You stared at him, your mind reeling. “Tom…”

“I know this is a lot,” he continued quickly, panic flickering across his face. “And I know I should’ve told you sooner, but I didn’t want to ruin what we have. I didn’t want to lose you. But after tonight… after almost losing you… I couldn’t keep it in anymore.”

You blinked, trying to process the flood of emotions his words stirred in you. Anger, confusion, relief, and… something deeper. Something that made your heart race.

“Tom,” you finally said, your voice softer now. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

He let out a shaky laugh, running a hand through his hair. “Because I was scared. Scared you didn’t feel the same way. Scared it’d mess everything up.”

You stared at him for a moment longer before taking a step closer. “You’re an idiot,” you said, though there was no heat in your voice.

He looked at you, his brows furrowing in confusion. “What?”

You let out a small laugh, shaking your head. “You’re an idiot, Tom Holland. Of course I love you too. Did you really think I wouldn’t?”

His eyes widened, hope blooming on his face. “You… you do?”

You nodded, a smile tugging at your lips despite everything. “Yeah, I do. But don’t think this gets you out of trouble for keeping secrets.”

Tom let out a breathless laugh, his shoulders sagging in relief. “I’ll take whatever trouble you want to give me, as long as I get to keep you.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help smiling as he pulled you into a tight hug, holding you like you were the most precious thing in the world.

And in that moment, for all the chaos and questions still lingering, you felt a little closer to finding your footing again. Together.

°:. *₊ ° . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ° .•

[janiehellion]

Rising From Embers

ONESHOT

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: When an argument with Carol leaves you feeling betrayed and jealous, Daryl’s anger and frustration reach the point of no return.

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: DARYL DIXON X FEM!READER

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: SMUT / LANGUAGE / VIOLENCE / CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT / ANGST

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 3.185

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ's ɴᴏᴛᴇ: Non-Con Elements (it might be interpreted this way — even though the scene seems to be consensual)

MASTERLIST & REQUEST GUIDELINES

You had been angry for days, full of jealousy that had only worsened with each passing moment when you saw Carol and Daryl together. The way they laughed together, the way they hugged each other—every bit of it was like a stab to your already wounded pride.

But it had reached a boiling point tonight. You stormed into one of the houses in Alexandria and searched for Carol, wanting to confront her once and for all. When you finally found her, she was sitting on a bed, reading a book.

"Carol!" You yelled out harshly, full of anger and hurt.

She looked up from her book with a small smile on her lips, not even bothered by what was happening, nor was she interested. "What is it? Is something wrong? What happened?"

"You know exactly what the fuck it is," you snapped back at her, your frustration boiling over. "I know why you’ve been avoiding me for weeks! And every time I see you, you’re all over Daryl, like he’s the only fucking person in this world who even matters to you anymore!"

Carol’s eyes narrowed, but she remained nonchalant and quiet. "What are you talking about? Sure, we are a family, but we have our own lives. Daryl has been busy with his own stuff and things, just like I’ve been with mine."

"Busy?" You scoffed. "Like spending time with you only while I’m suddenly a piece of shit in your eyes?! Oh, yeah, I wonder why!?"

Carol’s smile didn’t go away, but she looked down on the floor for a moment. "Is this really about me? Or, rather, about you and Daryl? Because if you have a problem with him and your relationship, you should talk to him directly, not me."

"Oh, I will," you answered. "But I need you to understand, okay?"

Carol looked up at you again, seemingly confused. "And I’m supposed to care because?"

"Because we’re supposed to be a family!" you shouted angrily at her. "Or does that only apply when it’s comfortable for you?"

Carol shrugged. "Life’s hard, I guess. We all deal with it in our own ways."

"Dealing with it by throwing away your friends so that you could have Daryl by your side only?" You snapped back at her.

Carol stood up, her patience finally fading away slowly. "This isn’t just about me and Daryl or you wanting to spend time with me like before when we were still out there. It’s about you trying to make everything revolve around you and your relationship with him because you think you might lose him. And you know what? I’m done with this conversation."

Before you could respond, she grabbed her jacket and headed for the door. "Like, do you even trust Daryl? But what do I care? So, whatever, go ahead with your self-pity."

The slam of the door behind her left you standing there with anger and jealousy, and in your rage, you didn’t even notice the knock on the door until it got louder.

Opening the door with a scowl, you were met with the sight of Daryl; his eyes narrowed. "Was lookin’ for Carol. Asked me to come over. She around here?"

"She just left," you answered back harshly. "But you can come in and wait for her to return if you want. I’m sure you two have a lot to talk about!"

Daryl hesitated but stepped inside the house. "What’s wrong? Ya' look angry."

You tried to swallow down the lump in your throat. "I’m fine. I'm just tired of being ignored."

Daryl’s eyes searched yours, and he seemed to sense your hurt. "Wanna talk 'bout it?"

"It’s Carol... and you," you scoffed at him. "You... You've been so distant lately, and it’s like you’re all Carol cares about."

Daryl’s eyes narrowed again. "Nah. She has her own life here. We all do."

"Yeah, I get that," you snapped again. "But... forget it! I’m so sick of this bullshit!"

Daryl looked at you for a long moment. "So what?"

Your anger flared up again, and you slammed your fist down on the coffee table in the middle of the living room as you sat down on the couch. "It’s not just about her or you being busy, Daryl! It’s about how you've been treating me like I don’t even matter shit to you anymore!"

Daryl’s face seemed somewhat frustrated by your words, but he stood his ground, not wanting to let it get to him too soon. Deep inside, your words did hurt him. "If ya' got a problem with me or with us, then just say it."

"Maybe if you had actually spent time with me for once instead of Carol, it wouldn’t be this way, but clearly you couldn't give less of a fuck," you answered bitterly.

Daryl took a deep breath, trying to manage his own temper, and he grabbed your arm roughly. "Ya' know what? That's bullshit! Ya' wanna yell at someone? Fine, but don’t expect me to just sit here and take it."

His hand tightened on your arm. “Ain't together with ya' to argue with ya'. I’m together with ya' because I care.”

His words only fueled the anger in you, and you struggled against his strong grip. "Care? Really? Because it feels like you’re only interested in Carol! Like always!"

"Fine. Ya' wanna let all the damn anger out, huh?" Daryl started, but before you could react, Daryl pulled you into a harsh, rough kiss. His lips crashed against yours, and his hands were all over your body, as if he were trying to make you feel every bit of emotion through the force of his touch.

Your hands gripped his shirt, pulling him closer as you kissed him back immediately, while his hands moved to your waist as he pushed you backward and toward the bedroom without you even noticing at first.

"Daryl," you gasped out, your heart now racing.

But he didn’t respond to you with words, only with actions. His hands were rough, his touch harsh, as he tore at your clothes and tried to get them off. "Ya' wanted to fight?" he growled at you. "Then let’s fuckin' fight."

You could barely even process his words as you desperately tried to regain some control of the sudden situation, wanting to pull away from him quickly.

"But not like this, you fucking idiot! Let go of me, Daryl!" You shouted at him and tried to push him away.

Daryl’s grip only tightened, his eyes narrowing as he looked at you. "Not until ya' let it all out."

"No! I won’t let you just fuck me like this, thinking it might calm me down!" You struggled against him, but deep inside? Deep inside, you were secretly wanting more.

"Then make me stop," he said back, and he simply smirked at you. His hands were rough as they gripped your wrists, now pinning them above your head.

"Daryl, that's bullshit! Just stop," you cried out, your voice turning into a moan.

But Daryl was too far gone already. He kissed you roughly again, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth all the while ripping your clothes finally away from your body until he pushed you back onto the bed. "Ya' think ya' can tell me what to do?" he snarled. "Ya' think ya' can just push me and get away with it?"

You tried to fight back, but his strength was too much. He forced you under himself, his body pressing down on yours.

"Daryl, no—" you tried to protest, but he silenced you with another rough kiss, his hands gripping your thighs and spreading them apart.

"Ya' wanted to fight," he growled, his fingers sliding along your pussy. "And ya' think you can just win a damn fight with me?"

You tried to pull away, but his grip was too strong, his hard cock pressing into your belly and leaking precum all over it.

"Please, Daryl," you begged, your voice shaking. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to..."

But he cut you off with a deep, passionate bite on your neck, and his tongue quickly delved into your mouth right after, silencing your protests. But all of a sudden, he grabbed your thighs and lifted them up a little bit, wrapping your legs around his waist. You could feel his cock pressing against your pussy, and you knew that there was no turning back.

Daryl thrust into you hard and deep, making you cry out in agony and pure lust. He fucked you roughly into the bed, your bodies slamming together with each thrust.

"Fuck, ya' feel so fuckin' good," he groaned, his lips finding your neck. He bit and sucked greedily at your skin, leaving marks all over your body. All the while, he fucked you faster but slower.

"Harder," you begged him, your nails digging into his back and scratching all over his scars, as if you were wanting to leave new ones that would hide the ones of his past. Scars of something that would be worth remembering. "Fuck me harder, Daryl!"

He obliged, his thrusts becoming more frantic and desperate. You could feel the orgasm building inside of you, your pussy clenching around his cock.

"Yes, yes, yes!" You cried out, your head thrown back in ecstasy. "Daryl, fuck!" You cried out, gasping and shivering.

His fingers dug into your skin. "Ya' think ya' can just throw that damn jealousy in my face?"

You struggled beneath him, trying to resist his hold at least a little bit, but it was no use against the strength of his body. "No! This isn’t—"

"No more games," he snarled.

You gasped and moaned beneath him, the feeling of him hitting you just right making you scream. He increased the force of his thrusts, soon enough driving you to the edge.

"I want more," you cried out, your voice barely above a whisper.

"That so?" he growled. "Ya' want more, huh?"

Without waiting for a response, he pulled his cock out of you, his fingers gripping your hair and forcing you onto your trembling feet, sensing that you might fall down onto your knees. You stumbled slightly, disoriented by the sudden change out of nowhere, but Daryl didn't care and pulled you towards a full-length mirror in the room.

"Look at ya'," he demanded, shoving you in front of the mirror. "Look at us."

You stood there, your body trembling, your eyes meeting your own reflection as his fingers dug into your shoulders. “Ya' see that?” he asked, watching you nod slowly.

With a sudden, forceful push, he pushed you against him, spreading your legs for him in front of the mirror. "Ya' gonna watch," he said harshly, "ya' gonna see what I'm doing to ya'."

He pushed you a little further towards the mirror, his grip tight on your hips as he roughly pushed his cock into you from behind.

"Ya' like this, don't ya'?" he growled. "Ya' like it rough and hard."

Something inside your mind tried to protest and push him away, but he was just too determined. And as much as you tried to deny it, there was a part of you that was enjoying it. The way he was fucking you and claiming you, it was like nothing you had ever experienced before.

"Yes," you finally gasped, giving in to the feelings. "Yes, fuck! Yes, I love it! Don't stop!"

He fucked you harder, and you could see your reflections in the mirror, his muscular body pinning you slightly against the glass as he took you from behind. It felt so dirty, somehow even wrong, and yet you couldn't get enough.

"Look at ya' in the mirror," he commanded. "Look at how ya' getting fucked. Look at us."

In the reflection, you could see the lust in his eyes, the way his muscles tensed with each thrust, and the way he held your body close to his. "Tell me ya' want it. Tell me ya' need it," he said, his hands gripping your hair to expose your neck.

You moaned, your body trembling around him. "I want it," you let out in a shaky whisper.

"Louder!" He demanded.

"I need this! Please!" You cried out, your voice now desperate.

Daryl let out a growl at your words, his fingers leaving bruises on your body as he fucked you even deeper. When you finally reached your orgasm, his body pressed tightly against yours, his hands finding your tits and playing with your nipples as you came hard. But before you could even catch your breath, Daryl pulled out of you with a final, forceful thrust, your body collapsing against his as you desperately gasped for air.

He quickly threw you back onto the bed and positioned himself over you, with his head buried between your thighs, his face just inches away from your soaking wet pussy, and his leaking cock only inches away from yours.

"Let’s see how much more ya' can take," he said, and he was soon enough grinding his hips against your face, the tip of his hard cock pressing against your lips.

"Mhm," you moaned out, running your tongue over the tip and licking off the precum. "Fuck, I want to taste you."

As you heard him groan, you knew that you were driving Daryl as crazy as he was driving you. But instead of taking his cock into your mouth right away, you were wrapping your hand around it.

"Oh, fuck," Daryl groaned, throwing his head back, just as he was about to suck on your clit. "Oh, fuckin' hell, that feels so damn good."

You smiled, pumping your hand up and down his shaft. "Yeah? You like that?"

"Yeah, I fuckin' love it," Daryl said, his voice trembling a bit, and you decided to use your other hand as well, placing it on his balls to massage them as you continued to stroke his cock.

Daryl was panting and moaning, his hips bucking wildly, and soon enough he lowered his head, his mouth sucking on your clit as he began to kiss and lick your pussy to eat you out. He made no attempt to be gentle; instead, he devoured your body with pure hunger, his lips and tongue exploring and tasting every part of it.

You moaned loudly as he continued to tease you before his hands gripped your thighs, holding you in place while his tongue licked along your pussy folds, tasting you even more before he began to push his tongue in and out over and over again for what felt like an eternity.

Soon, he shifted his position a little bit, his mouth focusing on your sensitive clit again, his tongue flicking over it and circling it, now more gentle but still with lust.

He grunted and groaned against your pussy while you were still playing with the tip of his leaking cock, the vibrations against your clit making you arch your back as you finally took him as deep as you could into your mouth, with your tongue moving along the underside of his shaft, wanting to feel every little twitch of it around your lips.

Daryl’s hands gripped your thighs harder, his fingers now digging into your flesh, which was sure to leave bruises over the next few days as he still held you in place. "Fuck," he mumbled against you. "Suck me off... Just like that, don't fuckin' stop. Suck my cock."

His words only turned you on even more as you took him deeper into your mouth, wanting to feel his cock pulse against your throat, his body trembling while he struggled to hold back.

"Fuck, yes," Daryl groaned, his hips thrusting against your face.

You were both moaning and groaning, and you could feel yourself getting close to coming all over again, and you knew that Daryl was close, too.

"I'm so fucking close! I'm gonna come," you gasped, your pussy clenching around his tongue.

"Same," Daryl grunted against you, his cock twitching in your mouth, and finally, with a loud and low groan, Daryl came hard, his thick load of cum shooting into your mouth and down your throat while you greedily swallowed every drop of it and wanted to suck him dry.

After a while, he pulled himself up from you, but soon enough, he pinned you down under him again. "Ya' wanted a fight," he said quietly, looking at you with a smirk. "Well, ya' got one now. And if there’s a next time you’re jealous, over bullshit," he murmured in a whisper, "just remember that I’ll claim what’s mine."

But before either of you could really catch your breath, the door creaked open, and Carol stepped into the room. Her eyes widened slightly, but instead of a shocked gasp, she let out a laugh.

“What the hell!” you yelled out loud, quickly pulling a blanket over the both of you.

Daryl froze beside you as well, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Carol. "What ya' doin’ here? Thought ya' were out."

Carol showed off a knowing smile but ultimately turned away so you and Daryl could feel a bit more comfortable. "Just checking in. It seems like my plan worked better than I thought it would."

You blinked in confusion, your heart still racing. "Excuse me? Plan? What plan? What the hell are you talking about, Carol?"

She leaned against the wall next to the door, her arms crossed over her chest. "Well, you two needed to sort things out. The jealousy and all that—it was only a matter of time before it blew up into something. I just gave it a little bit of a push."

Daryl’s jaw clenched slightly as he looked over his shoulder. "Ya' set this up? That's why ya' asked me to meet ya' here?"

Carol shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah, and now maybe you two can finally be honest with each other and more open about your relationship instead of trying to keep it hidden away from everyone else."

You felt anger, relief, and gratitude—all of these emotions suddenly flooding your mind and heart. "You... Wait, you manipulated us?"

"Call it what you want," she answered, seemingly unapologetic about it. "But look at where it got you both now. So, yeah, sometimes, a little push is all it takes and needs."

Daryl glanced at you, his expression softening slightly. "Guess we owe her, huh?"

You managed to laugh, still processing the situation and what was actually happening. "Yeah, I guess so."

"I’ll leave you two to... talk things out, you know? Maybe next time, don’t let jealousy get in the way of what you really feel." With that, Carol turned around and left, closing the door behind her.

Daryl sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Shit, that was weird as fuck."

You nodded, but you felt the awkwardness slowly fading away. "Yeah. But maybe she’s right. We needed this. You and me both."

And without another word, Daryl's fingers traced the marks he'd left on your skin—each bruise, each bite, and each scratch.

[arcane-vagabond]

Fool's Fare: Chapter Thirteen

Fool's Fare: Chapter Thirteen

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Summary: Captain Jake "Hangman" Seresin had come close to swinging from the gallows more times than he would care to admit. He's stolen, cheated, even killed. The worst thing he's ever done? Broken the heart of a woman. Having broken the heart of the woman whom Davy Jones himself had fallen for six years ago, Jake is now cursed to live as something not dead, but not alive. He's doomed to live a half-life for the rest of his existence unless he manages to obtain the treasure Davy Jones deems most valuable. The problem? He has no idea what it is, and he only had seven years to obtain it.

Content Warning: Flashback Chapter, Cursing, I played around with mythology in this one, Myths, Curses, Magic, Deals, Mentions of death, Mentions of suicide, Smoking pipes (Tobacco), Regret, Angst, some fluff. I think that's everything, but please let me know if I've missed something!

Word Count: 4.6k

Series Masterlist || Moodboards || Playlist

Smoke wafted towards the ceiling, disappearing into the air before the soft tendrils could reach the wooden rafters. The glow of the embers illuminated Tom’s face as he sucked the tobacco smoke into his lungs, the burn a familiar comfort to him after so many years. Blue eyes scanned the crowded room, men gulping down mouthfuls of ale as women sauntered around the room looking for their bed fellow of the night. Laughter broke out on the far side of the room, cheers following it as the last hand of cards was revealed.

These too were familiar to him.

“Don’t suppose the information we were given was wrong,” Beau muttered beside him. Tom’s eyes drifted over to him, studying the quartermaster. Tom wasn’t sure he altogether liked Beau very much, but he trusted the man, and in this life, trust was worth its weight in gold. While Tom knew the quartermaster was loyal, he also knew that Beau’s interest aligned with his own.

“He’ll be here,” he replied, shifting in his chair to lean back, feet propping up on the table. A pretty, young woman strolled casually over to him, fixing him with a sultry gaze and a confident smile. Tom waved her off, earning a pout, but he paid her no mind. He was on a mission tonight, waiting for a man he knew would show his face sooner rather than later.

Pete Mitchell was a right bastard as far as Tom was concerned—the newly appointed captain of the Maverick had earned himself quite the reputation even before earning the mantle from his predecessor.

Tales of the new captain capturing and sinking enemy ships had made their way to every port along the coasts, whispers twisting tales until no one knew what was true and what was falsehood. What had remained consistent, however, was the fact that the young captain had been going around boasting about how no man could best him, not even Davy Jones himself.

Tom wouldn’t stand for that.

The door to the pub opened with a sharp crack to the wall behind it, a smirking young man with fine features, dark hair, and blazing, blue eyes roving over the scene before him.

“That’s him,” Beau whispered, and Tom let out a low grunt in acknowledgement, watching the young man strut into the room like he owned the place. Tom’s jaw tightened as he gritted his teeth, feeling his own irritation rolling off of him in waves. The lad seemed to sense him because his gaze turned to fix on the older man, a brow arching curiously. Slowly, Pete walked over to him, confidence shining from every pore as a lazy smirk curled on his lips. He didn’t wait to be invited to sit, he simply did—the chair knocking against the stone floor as he plopped down in the seat. The man who followed him, much taller than the captain and mustache adorning his upper lip, peered around anxiously before fixing his eyes on Tom and Beau. Tom surmised that he must be Pete’s quartermaster, Nick Bradshaw.

Tom turned his attention back to Pete as the younger man’s smirk became a full-blown grin.

“Evenin’, pops,” he greeted, nodding at him from across the table. Tom felt the vein in his forehead pulse with irritation, leaning back in his chair with a creak and another drag from his pipe. Tom studied the young man before him, noting how at ease he seemed to be despite the dangerous aura that rolled off of Tom in waves. Men twice this boy’s age cowered in his presence, and yet here he was—grinning like a cheshire cat.

It pissed him off.

“You know,” Pete drawled, leaning back to mirror the older captain, “it’s considered polite to answer back.”

Tom snorted, bringing the pipe away from his mouth and staring down the young captain.

“Pleasantries fly out the window once I hear of some upstart going around boasting about how none can best him—even Davy Jones himself.”

“I haven’t even seen you on the seas, old timer,” Pete grinned. “You think I’d beat you like all the others?”

“I think I’d sink your ship in ten seconds flat without even raising my voice,” Tom spat, earning a wary side-eye from his quartermaster.

“Tom here doesn’t exactly appreciate people invoking his name needlessly,” Beau supplied, shifting in his seat as waves of anger rolled off the captain. “Especially when it’s spoken in boast of oneself.”

Pete’s brow arched as his quartermaster’s brow furrowed.

“I don’t understand what you mean,” Nick spoke, leaning forward to look over his own captain’s shoulder. “We don’t even know your name.”

Tom hummed, tapping his fingers on the top of the table. “I think you do.”

A moment of silence passed between the four men, the rowdy crowd around them continuing on in their revelry as if nothing were amiss. It was Pete who broke the silence first.

“You’re supposed to be a myth,” he murmured, all trace of mirth gone from his face. “A legend.”

“Any sailor worth his salt knows not to invoke names of power,” Tom retorted. “Names themselves have power. You shouldn’t speak the name of anything whose wrath you don’t want to earn.”

“And is that what I’ve done?” Challenged Pete, squaring his shoulders as Nick gave him an exasperated look. “Have I incurred the wrath of Davy Jones?”

Tom considered him for a moment. The gall of this man was something Tom hadn’t seen in decades, and he found that he quite liked the challenge the young captain was issuing him. He tried to remember the last time someone had done so so openly and brazenly.

“You’ve certainly incurred the annoyance of Tom,” he replied finally, not missing the sharp look Beau shot his way. Pete frowned in confusion.

“Tom?”

“That’s my name,” he replied with a shrug, inhaling from his pipe as he watched the younger man process his words.

“I thought you were Davy Jones?” Pete asked finally, lips pursed as his guard was up.

“Davy Jones is more of a…moniker,” Tom supplied, closing his eyes as he basked in the warmth of the tobacco in his lungs. “Has a better ring to it than Thomas, wouldn’t you say?”

The young captain stared at him in disbelief before letting out a humorless chuckle.

“You aren’t at all what I was expecting,” Pete mused, and Tom snorted.

“You weren’t expecting much,” he countered. “You didn’t even think I was real until a few moments ago.”

The two men talked well into the night, and Tom had grown a sort of strange fondness for the plucky captain. You’d never get him to admit that he felt somewhat impressed by the stories Pete told him of the several ships he had managed to capture, but he was sure Pete caught the way his eyes alighted with intrigue. As dawn broke above the horizon, the sky painted in a hushed blue and warm pink, the captains bid farewell to each other, Tom warning the young captain one more time to not invoke his name lest there be consequences.

Years passed, and in that time, Tom and his crew had taken many treasures from doomed ships, the begging of crews falling on deaf ears. The captain of the Flying Dutchman having long lost feeling in his heart for the plight of others. No, in this world there was only take, his endless life proof of that.

His crew was not dead, not in any way that may truly matter. Rather, they sat in limbo thanks to a god long thought dead—a goddess that Tom had betrayed.

Thetis had been beautiful, strong, and perhaps the most coveted woman in antiquity at one time. Tom, who had gone by a name he had long forgotten at that time, had wooed the goddess, and perhaps at one time he would have said he even loved her. Together, they had seven sons, but only one would grow to be a man, the others lost to mortality. Thetis had been driven mad with grief, and Tom had closed himself off completely.

Perhaps it was a mixture of pride and the folly of his youth that had led him to betray her. The now faded memories of sailing with a band of his brothers had filled his mind then, and Tom had decidedly wanted more. He knew his wife held great magic in her hands, and he had begged her to use it to secure him power over the seas. Of course, she had been reluctant at first, warning him of the dangers that came from such a request, but Tom had been insistent. The first moment he held the star in his hand, he knew he had doomed himself.

He had left shortly after, leaving his wife heartbroken and his son in the care of a trusted friend. His wife had bestowed power to him, and Tom was ever the fool to think that it had been anything other than her final act of revenge.

He and his crew were doomed to limbo, to wander the seas forever craving more from those who were unfortunate to cross their paths. Time passed around them, and it wasn’t long until Tom learned of his son’s tragic fate, mourning him as best he could despite the never-ending greed that gripped his heart. Time marched forever forward, and soon Tom took on new name after new name until one day he realized he had no memory of who he once was.

The star had been lost to him, having lost it in a gamble or having misplaced it at some point—he wasn’t sure. He wanted it back though, but no matter how hard he tried, the star remained lost to him. The magic cursed to him by his estranged wife, however, made him slave to the whims of the ocean, his name crossing into legend then myth. He took up the moniker of Davy Jones, a name that now struck fear into the heart of every sailor that sailed the seven seas.

All except one.

It was a dreary day when Tom felt the call. Mist clung to his skin as the ship moved forward in the dark waves, an eery silence surrounding him when he felt the call of his name.

It had taken a while for him to notice the first time it happened. His name a beacon on the waves for those sentenced to death on the ocean’s surface. But, soon he realized the call that stirred deep within him. Where the call came, treasure awaited.

Tom signaled to the helmsman to change course, the ship creaking in protest against the crashing waves. Still, the ship spurred on at an unnatural pace, and it wasn’t long before Tom realized he had been summoned to the shore off of southern Massachusetts. He frowned at the location, choosing to go ashore himself and leave his crew behind until he could determine what was happening.

Tom secured the lifeboat up onto the shore, confident that it was far enough inland that the tide wouldn’t pull it back out should he take long. The sand shifted beneath his feet as he walked along the shore, the summons guiding him to where he needed to go. The sun was drifting towards the skyline, the sparse clouds above streaming past up above as his eyes scanned the beach for what he was looking for. It wasn’t long before he came upon a familiar figure sitting amongst the rocks.

Pete was older than Tom had last seen him, only three years having passed since the last time they had seen each other—ten since the first time they had met. Strands of grey started to spot against Pete’s temples, lines littering his face to give him a more distinguished look. He looked up as Tom approached, smiling in way of greeting as the old, sea captain came to a stop beside him, dropping down next to him with a grunt. Tom pulled out his pipe, striking a match and puffing on the old, wooden piece as he let out a sigh.

“Been a while since I seen you,” he offered up after a moment’s silence. Pete nodded with a hum, turning his attention back to the sea.

“It has,” Pete agreed.

“Didn’t exactly part on the best of terms last time,” Tom continued.

“No,” Pete acquiesced. “We didn’t.”

“I don’t have the power to bring the dead back, Pete,” the older man reminded him. “The magic doesn’t work that way.”

“So you said,” Pete muttered, and Tom let out another sigh.

“I’d bring Nick back if I could,” he frowned, shoulders stiff. “You know that.”

Nick’s death had been a terrible accident—a stray bullet lodging into his heart during the heat of battle. Pete had taken it hard, locking himself away to mourn the loss of his most trusted friend. Nick had been a good man, though he had his secrets. Pete had mentioned that Nick had a wife and child tucked somewhere secret that he’d visit from time to time. Not even Pete knew where Nick would run off to during those times.

“I do,” Pete agreed. The two sat in silence for a few moments more before Tom rolled his shoulders, inhaling the tobacco smoke once more.

“So why’ve you brought me out here, then?” Tom prodded.

“Do you remember that girl I told you about?”

Tom paused. He did remember Pete mentioning a girl he’d been spending time with. “Penny, right?” He asked.

Pete nodded, a small smile creeping on his face at the mention of her name. Tom vaguely recalled seeing the girl on one of his last visits with Pete, a pretty thing with a fire that matched the young captain’s. Tom was surprised that she had managed to stick around.

“What about her?” Tom asked, peering over at the other captain.

“We’re married now.”

Tom started at that. He wasn’t sure he’d ever peg Pete as the marrying type, but he supposed he wasn’t one to talk.

“Married,” he echoed with a low hum.

“Two years now. Three in April,” Pete grinned.

“You called me out here to tell me that you’re married?” Tom snorted, the embers of his pipe glowing in the fading light as he inhaled once more.

“Actually,” Pete started, “I’m here to ask a favor.”

“A favor,” Tom echoed once more, this time with a frown. Pete knew there was a price to Tom’s favors—it was the way the magic worked.

“Penny and I have been trying for a family,” Pete explained, “but we haven’t had any luck. I see the way she tries to seem like it doesn’t bother her, but I also see the way she looks after the kids in the village. I want to give her everything I can, Tom. What kind of man would I be if I didn’t try everything?”

“You know there’ll be a price,” Tom warned him, casting a look his way. “There’s always a price to pay for these things.”

“Whatever it is,” Pete murmured, “I’ll pay it.”

“Why?” Tom retorted. “Why would you even risk it?”

Pete smiled at him, a soft look in his ocean blue eyes. “I love her, Tom.”

“Love is for fools,” Tom scoffed.

“Love is the price we pay to feel something in this world, Tom,” Maverick said, looking at his friend knowingly. Tom snorted, shaking his head.

“Fool’s fare then,” Tom relented. Pete’s head tilted back as he laughed.

“Call it what you like,” he chortled, “but the facts remain. Now are you going to help me or not?”

Tom considered him for a moment. What Pete was asking was no small task, but perhaps…

“Tell me,” he spoke. “What do you picture your life being?”

Pete thought for a moment.

“Penny wants a child regardless, but I think I want a son that I can pass my legacy onto. A son to teach the ways of sailing and ride on the waves together,” he paused. “Yes, a son.”

Tom hummed with a nod. He could work with that. He could manipulate the magic in that one, small way.

“The price for a life is a life in return,” he warned. “To gain your son, you forfeit your life after seven years.”

Pete hummed, rubbing at his chin as he considered the price. Tom waited, wondering if his friend would forfeit his own life to make this woman happy. Pete wasn’t a particularly selfish man, but he had a zest for life that was rare in Tom’s experience. People like Pete lived for the love of life, and the thought of willingly forfeiting that should seem like an impossible decision to the young captain.

“I’ll do it.”

Tom blinked, momentarily letting his mask of impassiveness slip to show his surprise at Pete’s decision. He recovered quickly, clearing his throat as he shifted.

“Alright,” he conceded. “If you’re sure about this.”

Pete nodded. “I am.”

Tom felt the magic swirl within him, building as he readied to make the deal. Slowly, he extended his hand, settling on the wording of the spell.

“To gain a child,” he said slowly, “you forfeit your life.”

Pete nodded, grasping his outstretched hand. “I get my son, Penny get’s a child, and you gain a soul.”

Tom frowned. Magic was specific, it was precise. He wasn’t sure if Pete’s added words would affect the spell, but he was sure that he had enough control to alter that one piece.

The magic settled around them, a low hum that rang in Tom’s ears as he let go of Pete’s hand. He took a long drag from his pipe, holding the burning smoke in his lungs before blowing out long and slow.

“So, tell me,” Pete grinned. “What treasures have you found since I last saw you?”

Years passed, and Tom’s plan worked. Soon after his deal with Pete, he received the news that his friend would become a father, and nine months later he received word that Pete’s daughter had been born, a healthy, happy child according to Pete. It was a couple of years later when he first met the little girl.

Tom had never seen his friend look so happy, smiling and bouncing the toddler on his hips as he cooed at her, earning small giggles that made the young captain grin even wider.

“She may not be my son,” Pete told him, holding the little girl close as she dozed off against his shoulder, tiny thumb popped into her mouth, “but she’s my little guppy.”

Tom would have gagged if it weren’t so sweet. He thought back to his long dead son, how small the boy had been in his own arms, and warmth stirred in his chest.

“I’m happy it worked out,” he replied.

“I know you finagled the magic,” Pete told him. “No son means no forfeiture of my life, right?”

“That’s the idea,” Tom admitted. “You’ll live a long, happy life with your family.”

It was two years later that Pete brought a young boy named Bradley into his home, dubbing the boy Rooster.

“He reminds me of Nick,” Pete told Tom one day. “Looks just like him. So much so, that sometimes I wonder if Bradley really is-”

“Don’t,” Tom interrupted, placing a hand on Pete’s shoulder. “Don’t do that to yourself. Don’t torture yourself with possibilities. Just focus on what you have now.”

Pete had smiled and nodded, content with the old captain’s words. Several more years passed, and the two children grew up as Pete grew older. Six years after Pete Mitchell had brought the boy into his home, he sealed his fate.

“Bradley’s grown strong,” he told Tom, pride evident in his voice. “He’s almost ready to take his first job. And, Guppy’s growing up so fast. She takes after her mother, I think.”

Tom snorted, but didn’t voice his opinion that Guppy took after her father rather than her mother—her stubbornness and talent for mischief qualities she inherited directly from the man who sat next to him.

“A son and a daughter,” Pete sighed. “I couldn’t be more proud to have them.”

It was like time stopped moving for a moment, magic stirred in the air like waves against rocks in the surf, crashing into Tom so hard, it knocked the air from his lungs. He started at Pete in horror, terror coursing through his veins for the first time in eons.

“What did you say?” His voice sounded small, even to his ears. “Do you know what you’ve just done?”

“I do,” Pete nodded, unfazed by the magic that now counted down the moments he had left to walk the earth. “And I’ll say it again. Bradley is my son, Tom. I won’t deny him that part in my life to save myself time.”

Tom continued to stare at him. Had he misjudged his friend so badly as to think that this boy would not hold such a place in his heart? Pete was different from the young man he had met over two decades before. Where he had been an inferno in his youth, scorching anyone or anything that got in his way, now he was the steady fire found in the hearth—a beacon to those around him.

“Seven years,” Tom murmured, hanging his head. “You have seven years.”

“Don’t feel bad, Tom,” Pete said, resting a hand on his shoulder. “You did for me what you could, and you didn’t have to do that much. You allowed me more years with my family than our deal allowed, and for that I’m grateful. More than you can imagine.”

Tom shook his head, letting out a growl of frustration at his friend’s apparent lack of self preservation. Pete shot him a sympathetic smile.

“Guess the magic got its way in the end, huh?” Pete chuckled, though there was no humor in his tone.

Tom said nothing, and the two sat in silence long after the sun had dipped below the horizon.

Tom ran into Pete several times during those years, either on the sea during their adventures, or when he’d pop into the local tavern. During that time, Tom himself had fallen in love for the first time in ages. She was a pretty, young thing with chestnut waves that rolled down her back and eyes to match. Laughter that filled Tom’s heart with a mixture of warmth and longing, and how he wished she’d pay him more mind.

Kate was her name, and Tom was in love. He watched from afar as she chased after some local boy. Tom wished it was him that she yearned for, but he would love her from afar.

No good would come from entangling himself in her life.

He watched after her for years, content to be her silent protector. In between his moments of quiet pining for her, he’d visit Pete, cognizant of the fact that his friend’s time was quickly running out.

“Have you told them?” He asked one day, Pete looking up from the map he had been studying. Pete grimaced, leaning back in his chair with a sigh.

“No,” he admitted. “I don’t want them to lose sleep over the inevitable. When I go, it will be a sudden, tragic accident. They’ll grieve, but they won’t torture themselves with the notion that they could have done anything to prevent it.”

Tom nodded, fidgeting with his pipe as a moment passed.

“I think I know what you meant about love now,” he admitted. Pete’s brow arched, the twinge of a smile evident on his lips.

“Don’t give me that look,” Tom groused, scowling at the younger man. “I’m only telling you because you’ll be dead soon enough, anyway.”

Pete threw his head back in laughter, Tom slowly joining in after a moment.

“Never one to beat around the bush, aye?” Pete chuckled, wiping a tear from his eyes as aftershocks of laughter rattled through him.

“Never,” Tom agreed with a grin.

That had been the last time Tom saw Pete. The magic had pulled tight at his chest, poised like a string before snapping, and Tom was left with a breathless, empty feeling. The tears came unbidden, a sob choking up out of him as he hunched his shoulders. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt sorrow like this, the last time he had allowed himself to feel close to anyone. Now he remembered why he was cold, why he gave himself to the ocean beneath him.

He would not make that mistake again.

As if to hammer home the lesson, news of Kate’s death reached him only days after. She had confessed her love to that same, stupid boy she had been chasing, and the boy had denied her affections. In her despair, she had thrown herself into the sea, drowning beneath the surface of the waves.

Tom was livid. How dare that boy take such a thing as love for granted. It was no matter, Tom would be the one to teach him a lesson.

And a lesson he had certainly bestowed. The boy had begged for mercy, but there was none to be found in Tom’s empty, aching heart. He thought of his friend who had given up everything in the name of love, something the boy before him had spit on as far as Tom was concerned. And so he had cursed the boy with the very curse that had been bestowed upon him lifetimes ago.

If more is what the boy wanted, it was more he would seek.

Tom had turned his back on the boy, the cries for mercy blending in with the wind as he disappeared into the shadows of night.

He saw the boy six years later during a visit to see you and Bradley, the blond having the swagger of any young captain, and his demeanor almost reminded him of another captain from so long ago.

Almost.

Tom hated him. Hated the very sight of him, and he was sure it was written all over his face as he scowled at him. Of course, the boy had no idea that he was talking to the very man that had cursed him so many years before. Tom made it a point to not let his civilian form slip to reveal the cursed soul that lay beneath. The night he had cursed the young man, he had let his control slip, revealing the skeleton of the man he truly was.

He knew better than to raise his voice in opposition to the idea that Bradley join this man’s crew. Much like the man who raised him, Bradley was more inclined to do the thing you told him not to do—a trait that Tom had found most annoying in Pete. However, he watched you trail after your brother, desperation clouding your judgement, and Tom shook his head in pity. He could try to speak up, but that would risk his exposure. Besides, there was no guarantee Bradley would listen to him, let alone believe him. He watched helplessly as Bradley signed his life away, signed away his future.

Tom could not meddle in the affairs of common folk, not without a price anyway. Stopping Bradley would have meant paying a terrible price, one that Tom would have no control over. Cursing under his breath, he watched as you stormed out of the tavern, tears streaming down your face. A wave of sadness washed over him, and he hung his head lower, squeezing his eyes shut against the realization that you truly would lose everyone you held dear in your life. All because of him. He had played a part in creating your family, and now he was the reason you would lose everyone completely. You’d be alone, just like him.

“I’m so sorry, Guppy.”

A/N: I'm so excited to share this one with you guys. This chapter has been swirling around in my head basically since the inception of the fic. I loved getting to explore the backstory of Tom and his origins as well as his friendship with Maverick. Did you pick up on the mythology? Can you guess Tom's true name? Only one more chapter to go and then we have our epilogue!

As always, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated. I no longer do taglists, so if you would like to be notified on when I post, please follow my sideblog ( @arcanevagabond-library ) and turn on post notifications! You can find me and my works on AO3 under the username arcane_vagabond. Until next time!

[sailoryooons]

Gods of the Dark | One | myg (m)

☾ Pairing: Dream god!Yoongi x f. human!reader

☾ Summary: Don’t ask for help in the dark. It’s an old tale you always heard whispered among the people of your village. But when you find yourself dragged kicking by the man you’re to marry, you have little choice but to beg for help long after the sun has set. The god who answers your pleas promises to save you, but every deal comes with a price. 

☾ Word Count: 21,606

☾ Genre: Fantasy, angst, strangers to lovers, smut

☾ Rating: 18+ Minors are strictly prohibited from engaging and reading this content. It contains explicit content and any minors discovered reading or engaging with this work will be blocked immediately. 

☾ Warnings: Sexist and patriarchal society inspired by medieval europe, a lot of world building and discussion about theories/concept of dreams, discussions of morals and ethics, world building, angst, intense fight scenes, mentions/light depictions of an abusive family, discussions of gender roles and forced marriages, attempted murder via drowning, a physical fight between a man and a woman in the middle of a storm, sexual dream sequences featuring making out, biting (light), grinding, reader having flashbacks of trauma, a lot of thoughts about reader's terrible parents, a sort of power imbalance in the sense that reader is in Yoongi's realm as a part of a deal.

☾ Published: July 9, 2023

☾ A/N: It's finally here! This was originally supposed to be two giant chapters, but I cannot manage my time in a way to write to ~40k chapters and also fit all of this in a way that is not overwhelming or feels like it makes sense, so I have chosen to do this in 4 chapters of roughly 20k words! Thank you to everyone who has hyped me up for this idea, helped me work out some ideas, or listened to me struggle to write this because I was so unsure about the chemistry between Yoongi and reader at first. I am really excited to be writing this and have taken this in quite a different direction than the original idea when I had when I watched the Lilith MV, but that's okay. I heavily draw on inspiration from the Lilith MV, the song Possession of a Weapon by Ashnikko, The Sandman by Neil Gaiman, the movie The Witch, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab and the original myth of Hades and Persephone (where I got the deal/living in Yoongi's world idea from).

Special thank you to my amazing beta team who really helped make this fic what it is and make sure it was legible: @theharrowing and @here2bbtstrash

☾ Disclaimer: All members of BTS are faces and name claims for this story. This is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. Any scenarios or representations of the people and places mentioned in works are not representative of real-life scenarios.

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Tuck a knife with my heart up my sleeve

Change like a season

-

It begins with rain.

White sheets of it beating against the window in a gentle murmur, a soft leak in the corner of the kitchen dripping into the metal bucket your mother has set out. The storm brings a cool wind with it, blowing in on the back porch where your father rocks back and forth in his chair, watching the deluge. 

Shivering, you throw another log into the fireplace, pulling your shawl closer as orange embers spark and crackle, drifting up the shute. The smell of burning cedar grows and you smile, sitting down in front of the licking flames and holding out your hands to warm your palms. 

Behind you at the kitchen table, your mother pulls a thread and needle through a dress she’s been working on, stitching purple flowers into the sleeves. You wonder if she’s making it for the neighbor's daughter, a girl a few years younger than you to be wed soon. 

Mother makes some of the best stitching in the village, her practiced hands etching artful flowers and vines and designs on the sleeves and skirts of most of the village women. She’s tried for years to pass the craft on to you, but your fingers aren’t nearly as nimble and your eye for art is sorely lacking. 

What you lack in art you make up for in stories, though. Head in the clouds, swimming in worlds, places and things you’ve never seen. Lives and people who only exist in your mind, entire fantasies with more colors and sights and smells than your tiny little world contains. 

You’d write them down if you could. Writing and reading is not a woman’s craft, though, and you know better than to press your father on the subject any further than you have in the past. A terse word from him and your raw knuckles after being forced to do the wash alone for weeks kept you from bringing up the topic of learning to read and write ever again, especially when you remember the sting of his slap when you pushed too far.

Still, you have your mind. You have the ability to dream up worlds and twist fantasies together, to daze off and pretend that you’re somewhere else. That you’re living another life.

You have the days where you finish working at the inn early, sitting in the corner of the room with hard bread and cheese, listening to the town’s storyteller whisper tales and myths to the children of the village.

For now, it will suffice. 

When the rain finally slows in the late afternoon, it’s cloudy and cool outside, the perfect temperature for a walk. Pulling on a pair of linen pants and a tunic, you creep toward the door, hoping to avoid the attention of your parents as they begin to prepare dinner in the kitchen, their movements methodical and silent. 

Carefully, you slide boots on your feet. As you reach for the front door, hidden from the view of the kitchen, you hear your mother call your name. You pause, closing your eyes and grimacing as you call back, “Yes?”

“Where are you going? It’s wet and cold outside.”

“Just for a short walk.”

“You’re going to catch a cold,” she protests. Her steps move near you. You pull the door open and step into the wet air, eager to get away from her. “Come help us with dinner.”

“I’ll see you shortly, the weather is lovely!”

Before your mother can come around the corner and pin you with her disappointed stare, you’re down the slippery steps and sloshing into the yard, mud and grass sucking at your steps as you hurry. You hear your father yell something like dammit, girl but you can’t be sure, the sounds of birds and the bugs swallowing his curses as you rush through the front yard.

The world is covered in a layer of fine mist, tree boughs heavy with rain as they drip drip drip onto the forest floor around you. Thick, gray clouds hide the sun still. Thunder rolls in the distance, promising more rain through the night. You don’t mind, diving into the darkness of the trees on a well-worn path through the woods.

Water floods the path up to the ankle, soaking your boots. You grin and kick your feet as you walk, watching the ripples flow outward. Water mosquitoes dance on top of the surface of the flood and you note little tadpoles swim by, confirming that the river by your house is flooding up over the bank and washing into the mainland. 

This is common most summers. Your house is out of the way from the town, almost a thirty minute walk. This far north, you’re only ten minutes from the edge of the slow-moving river that floods yearly turning the land around your property into a marsh. 

It’s your favorite time of year. A heron startles as you wander through the trees, shaking its white wings and shedding water as it hurries away on long, thin legs. You spot a snake swimming through the reeds, rushing away from you once it senses you sloshing through. 

Closer to the river, you pause. It’s hard to tell where the embankment dips down with it flooded. You can see where the flood moves faster, powered by the depth of the river and the overflow from the lake up north. Leaning against a tree, you look around this world of water. 

It seems alien. Trees block out the sky and are reflected in the surface of the flood, giving the illusion that you stand between two worlds, two dimensions. 

What would that be like, you wonder. 

According to the high priest in town, there are other dimensions. There are the heavens for the gods of light and love, who bless the world with fire and harvest and rain and oceans, who protect the people and who will absolve you of all sin and greed if you pray to them hard enough and accept them as your patrons. Who will love you only if you are devout.

You don’t believe in them for a second. If those gods of love and light do exist, they are not entirely good. They have never answered your prayers, have never saved you from pain or from sorrow. You have begged the gods to give you a new life, to let you leave. To let you go somewhere far away.

They have been silent. They were silent when your father beat you after the first time you rejected a marital match. They didn’t help you when he burned all your materials when you tried to teach yourself the shapes and sounds of letters.

So you stopped praying to them. 

There are other gods, of course. Other places for the wicked, dark gods full of trickery and greed, who seek only to fill the world with sin and deceit, who desire to make humans suffer and lose themselves in hedonism and debauchery. Those gods have a place too, the dark underworld for those who should be punished and reminded what it is to be full of sin. 

You’ve never prayed to them either, too afraid of what it would cost you. But you wonder if they answer or if they too watch the world from a mountain so high that they cannot bother to help those who need it. 

Still, you wonder what it would be like to walk between two worlds. To see one reflected in the other, to fall face first into the cool water only to surface in another place, almost an exact replica of where you’re from. 

It would be nice. Perhaps there you wouldn’t be a disappointing daughter who has turned away every suitor in the village, much to your father’s rage. There, you would be allowed to pursue reading and writing. You’d have the agency to sail the world and see the ocean for the first time, to feel the freezing spray of the seas on your face while you hunt the coast for something lost. 

Always something lost. 

In all of your fantasies, you’re looking for something. Sometimes, you’re not sure what it is you’re looking for, you just know that something needs to be found. Other times, it’s a specific object or a person, something that, deep down, you know represents the thing you desire to find most: freedom. 

A small school of fish swim by your feet. They can’t be any larger than your pinky finger, scurrying along before they’re swept up in the suction of the flowing river. Sighing, you push off the tree and begin to head back home, swatting at your bare arms where gnats bite at your sweaty skin. 

Dark presses in as you walk back. You had stayed in the woods later than you intended, mind drifting far off among the sounds of the world around you. A cool tingle slides down your neck as you walk, water breaking around you. 

You pause. It’s the same feeling that you get whenever you spend far too long in the woods and the sun goes down. It feels like there’s someone there with you, just at your back. Slowly, you turn to look over your shoulder but there’s no one there, just the warm press of something you can’t see. 

When it happened the first time, you’d been so afraid you ran home. Now, though, you smile and look down at the ground as you keep walking. The presence, whether it’s real or something you have made up in your head, is always comforting. Always there, a gentle press of feeling. 

There are candles burning in the windows and an owl hoots in greeting when your house appears. Inside, you kick off your shoes and rush to meet your parents at the silent dinner table. Both of them look up at you, your mother’s mouth pinched, eyes weary. Your father’s gaze is thunderous as he picks up cutlery and begins to cut into his potato in saw-like motions, his knuckles going white.

You sit down without a word, bow your head to pretend to pray. Your mother clears her throat, drawing your attention. “It’s after dark. You missed your prayers.” 

It doesn’t matter. You weren’t going to pray anyway. But the way your parents look at you makes you drop your eyes down to the table, their expressions alarmed. Were you really about to pray after the sunset, when the benevolent gods were no longer listening? The only gods available to you now are dangerous. Violent. Tricky. 

Dinner is dry and too heavily salted. Still, you don’t complain. Somewhere in the world, you’re sure that there are wonderful feasts being held. Plates and platters of honey-glazed meats, roasted pheasant and charred filets. Whipped sweets and colorful confectionaries, dripping fruits and sugary drinks. 

None of those places exist anywhere that you’ve ever seen, but you like to imagine them as you chew your way through an oppressively silent meal. He says nothing, but you can tell your father is angry once again. Just as well, he at least keeps it to himself through the meal and says nothing when you’re done. 

“I’ll do the dishes,” you offer quickly when your parents finish. It’s an olive branch and they know it. They accept anyway, letting you gather plates as the soft hush of rain begins again. 

Rain washes out the night. You can’t see anything beyond the water that runs off the roof over the back porch as you dip your rag into warm water, scrubbing at the plates before setting them to dry in the stack next to you. 

Frogs croak, their loud voices blending together into the roar of the rain. Every now and again, lightning flashes above and thunder shakes the sky. You feel it vibrate through your ribs and you smile, inhaling the charged air. 

“... doesn’t have a choice!” You turn toward the open doorway. You can’t see your parents but the window is open to their room, voices coming in and out of the rain. “... force her! I’ve had… and he’s already agreed.”

You frown, stopping your scrubbing to lean further, straining your ears. “This won’t go well,” your mother says. 

“I don’t give a damn! It’s already done, woman. Enough.”

The rest of the conversation is drowned out by thunder. You frown and turn back to your task, trying to piece together what they’re talking about. You think back to your mother stitching the dress before dinner and think perhaps they’re gossiping about the neighbor again. She wasn’t happy that she was being married off and everyone knew it.

Still, she’s doing it. She’s stronger than you. It’s hard to imagine going through with something you don’t want, to live a life shackled to another person who doesn’t love you. Whose only purpose is to coexist with you and reproduce. To run a household and get through each and every day, the same as last.

It’s hard to say if your parents are in love. They are tender, at times, but you can’t ever point out a moment that your mother or father seem truly happy. Content isn’t the same as happiness. Not really. While they work together well and seem to have struck up a balance after the years, there’s nothing in the way they move through life that seems joyful. 

You had asked your mom if she was happy once. She gave you a funny look and said, I have a roof above my head and food on the table. How could I not be? 

Her response puzzles you still. To live is not to be happy. Being alive is just that - being alive. A bare minimum. But truly being happy is something else. At least, that’s how you understand it. How the heroes and characters in stories and tales live their lives, fighting for happiness. 

Later that night, you forget all about their whispers behind the sheets of rain. You’re tired and the storm is soothing, making you dream of a far away land where there are two armies entrenched in war, battling for their kingdoms and lighting the sky with storm magic. 

Another dream. Another fantasy. 

-

In your dream, a soft mouth meets yours. The kiss is slow, tongue dragging against yours, tasting of something sweet, mouth warm. It smells like clove and cinnamon, and though you don’t open your eyes to see the mouth that slides against yours, you know you are safe. 

-

It ends in darkness.

Dusk has settled around your home like a funeral shroud. Your father has been gone all day, your mother flippant when you ask about his whereabouts. Your mother is a painted picture of anxiety: mouth pinched, darting eyes that fail to meet yours, and hunched shoulders. It makes your palms sweat, the way she avoids you in the house. 

Rain comes down in patterns again, bands of storms floating by and turning the world gray. You don’t have to go to the inn with the road flooded, so you spend the day at the window instead, watching each storm flash by, listening to the frogs and watching the birds pick through bug-filled waters between each deluge. 

When the sun begins to set, you find your mother standing near the window, looking through wet glass as she chews the corner of her lip. She wipes her hands on her dress, not picking up that you’re standing in the doorway watching her.

The gown she has been stitching for the past few days lays on the table. It’s a beautiful thing, bursting with intricate flowers on the sleeves and the skirts. You don’t enjoy dresses - much less the kind for marriage - but you admire the careful needlework. 

“It’s a good dress,” you tell her. She startles from where she stands at the window, whirling around to face you. “One of your best.”

“Yes. I-” something crosses her face that’s unreadable. “Would you try it on for me? I want to make sure I got the sizing right.”

You shrug and pick it up. It’s not the first time she’s used you for sizing and you’re sure it won’t be the last. You just hope that she doesn’t make you stand on a stool for hours to place pins in the skirt, mapping where she needs to take in the seams and make the fabric fold. 

The material is a little scratchy when you put it on. It’s snug across the chest and a little bit long at the wrist, but the material ripples over you like water. Outside of your room, the sound of your father’s voice echoes. He sounds more jovial than usual, laughing loudly - another voice is with him. 

Frowning, you work the buttons on the side of the dress to secure it shut, pulling the fabric into place. It isn’t often that your father has guests over, but you can assume it’s one of his friends he has over for dinner. You make a sour face at the thought that perhaps it’s Mr. Laudermill and his son Nathaniel again, a family your father has tried to pawn you off on before. 

The list of people your father has tried to get you to marry is astounding. It’s become a joke in the town, a game of who will he ask next? At first, there were plenty of families who offered their sons to make the union. Now, after how vehemently you have protested for your right to pick your husband yourself, it’s you who is rejected when your father makes dowry offers.

It seems - much to your advantage - that the men of the town and even the neighboring villages grew tired of the girl who liked to say no. It gives you small satisfaction to know that sheer inconvenience has earned you freedom alongside your mother’s unwillingness to force you. 

Still, the Laudermills are a little persistent. Not your father’s favorite option he has ever brought up, but it was one that didn’t say no. 

You enter the main house with minor trepidation, uneager to spend the evening sighing at Nathaniel’s terrible jokes and attempts to win you over. You wonder if it’s sheer pride that brings him back this time, upset that he cannot beat the town's little conundrum. The unconquerable conquest. You get the feeling that’s why he and his father visit for dinner sometimes, Nathaniel’s pride unwilling to back down from the challenge. 

You’d respect him more if he had more admiration for the word no. 

Nathaniel and his father are in the main room of your home, speaking in laughing tones to your father. Your mother stands near the open back door, hands wringing together. There is another person in your house that you don’t expect, though. The village’s high priest nods his head along with something that your father is saying, wrinkled hands clasped in front of his robes.

Time seems to slow down. You take in the tight expression on your mother’s face, her eyes drifting over to the priest who is dressed in ceremonial purple robes, an air of professional courtesy about him. He’s nodding to Nathaniel who is speaking now, and it’s when you really look at him, dressed in nice linen pants, a long sleeved shirt and an ornate vest, that you put the pieces together. 

Too slowly do you react as your father turns to you. His smile is forced and his gaze is burning with warning when he gestures. “There’s our bride!”

The word sinks in like a blade. Right between the ribs and up, its point poking dangerous at your heart as your blood begins to roar in your ears. You’re frozen to the spot, staring at them from the threshold of your room. You can feel your pulse throbbing in your neck, your hands shaking. 

“You look beautiful,” Nathaniel says, grinning. It’s a genuine smile, a proud one. Something that says finally. “I’m so glad you’re ready, after all this time.”

“I… what?”

In a moment of razor-sharp clarity, you remember the conversation your parents were having last night, soft words whispered under the cover of the storm. You remember something about forcing her and someone having already agreed. 

No. No. Nonononononono. 

You don’t realize you’re speaking out loud as you back up into your room, the horror settling in as the rain begins to tap on the roof. Your mother looks crestfallen but remains silent as your father’s smile tightens and his face reddens. 

When he says your name, it’s full of warning. The back of your legs hit your bed and your weak knees buckle. You sit down with a huff and shake your head. “You can’t do this,” you whisper. You can’t find your voice, can’t work your throat louder. “You cannot make me marry.”

“Of course I can,” your father hisses. His smile drops and in its place is something dangerous. Horrific. The villain of all your dreams and epic fantasies. “I have given you more than enough time to choose. You have not. As the man of this house-”

“No!” you bark back, cutting him off and shooting to your feet. “I am a person-”

“You are a woman!” he roars, making the high priest flinch. “Your purpose is to grow up, get married, mind the household and provide an heir! You are the only fiendish woman in this entire forsaken village who seems to misunderstand this!”

“It is not my purpose!”

“It is, and you will fulfill it!” he hisses. “You will marry this man before the gods, with my blessing and the witness of the priest.” 

Behind you, thunder rolls. The rain comes down harder. Frogs croak loudly, bracketed by the sound of the trees bending with the weight of the wind. Your heart pounds in your chest as you stare at the people before you. Your mother with tears in her eyes, your father with fury in his face, the priest with disappointment and Nathaniel. Nathaniel with glee. With a grin. With a smirk. 

“I won’t do it,” you whisper. 

Before they can argue, you turn on your heel and leap onto your bed. Your father and Nathaniel rush at the doorway, their steps pounding behind you as you crawl through the window, your ribs slamming on the sill as you lean face forward. Rain soaks you immediately, your hands gripping the sill as you haul your middle half over the edge, intending to just flip down into the mud. 

Hands yank at your legs and you scream, a feral sound ripping through your lungs as you kick backward violently. You’re yanked back toward your room viciously, rib cage aching where you slide on the concrete frame. With another savage kick, you make contact and hear a loud shout before the hands drop from your waist. 

Pushing harshly, you throw yourself the rest of the way through the window, falling the few feet down to land with a splash. Your father is screaming inside the house but you’re already slipping to your feet, whatever he says drowned out in the rain. 

You don’t even think. You run, hands picking up the wet-leaden skirts on your dress as you tear off toward the woods. Water rushes around your ankles as you go and you hear commotion at the window as someone clambers through. You don’t dare turn around as you rush to the line of trees, unafraid of the dark but terrified of the slamming footsteps behind you.

It’s impossible to be fast in the flooded woods. You wince as your feet get cut up on rocks and sharp sticks that you can’t see. You trip over roots and kick solid things as you slog forward, biting back a cry as you try to flee. 

“Get back here, you wretched bitch!” Nathaniel screams behind you. 

It never occurred to you that he could say something so violent. It spurs you forward, mud and water sucking your feet down and making your flight sticky and slow. Rain pelts down between the leaves, the storm lighting up the treetops with purple flashes every now and again. Thunder shakes their branches and rumbles through your feet, the water rushing higher and higher. 

Nathaniel slams into you at the waist. You scream as he takes you down, his weight on top of you. Your scream is cut off as your mouth fills with water. You swallow in a panic, body thrumming with alarm as you choke, nose full of water, eyes burning. You can hear the dull roar of water, the swish of your tangled limbs on the floor. 

Clawing at him, you feel your nails rip down soft flesh and hear a muted yell. He lifts his weight off of you and you sit forward, breaking the surface and gasping for air, retching. Your lungs and nose burn as you gasp for air, fighting to get a breath in. 

Nathaniel is on you again, his hand going for your hair as he digs his fingers in hard, yanking at your scalp. Your hands fly to his wrist and you scream again, pulling at him, trying to free yourself. Tears smart your eyes from the stinging pain as he yanks hard enough that you think he’ll tear you right apart. 

“Fucking ungrateful,” he barks.

Your feet slide in the mud as he uses your buoyancy in the knee deep water to haul you back toward the house. You twist in his grip, mewling in panic and pain as you work to get your feet under you and fight back. You let go of his arm and throw a weak punch at his ribs. He grunts but doesn’t let go, even as you twist, hands shooting to the ground, digging through soaked earth and weeds until you feel the hard, rough shape of a rock. 

Grabbing it, you lift your hand from the water and bring it down hard on Nathaniel’s wrist. He screams and lets go of your hair. Your fingers ache from the blow but you don’t waste precious minutes, scrambling to your feet and sloshing away from him again. He’s already gripping at your dress, fingers ripping at the fabric to get a hold of you. 

Desperation claws at you and you scream for help. You don’t know if anyone else is out here in the dark of the woods but you don’t care. Bleeding, in pain, and terrified, you tear through the water, the rock clutched in your fingers, rushing in the dark as Nathaniel gives chase.

“Please!” you scream at the dark. “Anyone, please!” 

A thread of thought slivers through you about the gods. Praying to the gods has never gotten you anywhere. It didn’t make your father let you read. It didn’t get you out of your town. It didn’t save you from this. The supposed gods who rule with light and love had never heard you and you had long stopped believing in them.

But you’d never prayed to the gods of the dark. The gods who only listen to words whispered after the setting sun. 

“Please,” you beg, turning your head to the dark sky. Lighting flashes and thunder rumbles. Cool wind brushes against your face, wind that feels like it whispers I’m listening. “Please,” you scream again. “Help me, I’ll give you whatever you want. Help me!”

Nathaniel takes you down by the waist again. You gasp for air this time as your face slaps the water with a sting. The current is rushing faster here, pulling at you. Deeper. Colder. You’re close to the river, and you feel the suction of the force of the flow tugging at your body as Nathaniel digs his fingers into the meat of your arms. 

This time, he doesn’t pull you with him. He holds you down, shoving you deeper and deeper until you realize that he’s no longer interested in bringing you back. You kick at him, you tear at him. You slam his wrist with the rock again but his other hand grabs yours, wrenching the weapon away from you. 

Your lungs are screaming and water is rushing into your nose as oxygen escapes you. His grip is firm and you begin to panic. All you can think is help help help help. Please help. 

Bubbles escape your mouth as you’re forced to breathe out again. You’re running out of time and pain starts to build in your chest. You feel the way your lungs squeeze, needing air. You let out more air and press your lips tight, desperately trying not to inhale. 

Breathe in, your instincts scream. Breathe breathe breathe breathe. 

Agony. You’re in agony as you open your mouth in a final cry, unable to form the words. Unable to scream and ask for a higher power that you only believe in at this moment to help you. 

Water fills your mouth. You swallow it whole, feel it go down as you begin to spasm. 

You’re going to die. 

And then Nathaniel’s hands are gone. It takes you a moment to realize that there’s no crushing grip on your arms and in the brief moment of realization, you barely manage to push up. To break the surface and vomit, water coming out of you in a stinging, horrid mess. Your stomach turns and you feel your chest squeeze as you choke.

The storm is still raging around you, water pulling at you and pressing you into the rough bark of a tree. Blinking tears from your eyes, you look around but it’s too dark to see. You can hear Nathaniel looking for you, screaming your name in the dark. 

The back of your neck tingles. There’s a feeling in the air behind you - that sliver of breath that you often sense when you’re out in the woods alone just after dark. Like something or someone is there with you, just behind you. 

“What is it you want?” a deep, dark voice whispers. The hair on the back of your neck stands on end and you feel chilled to the bone. The voice is like none you’ve ever heard, sensual and dizzying. 

“Want?”

“You asked for help.” The voice switches to your other ear and you don’t dare turn around to find the speaker. “What do you want?” 

“What can you give?”

The voice chuckles. The sound makes you shiver, your eyelids fluttering. The voice purrs, “I can give you anything you dream, little lamb. Tell me: what do you want?”

You think about it. Lightning lances through the sky and for a brief moment, the world is a flash of silver. You see Nathaniel in the light, a few feet away from you. He’s bloody and heaving, his eyes snapping to where you hide against the tree.

“Freedom,” you gasp as the world falls to darkness again. “I want freedom.”

“What will you give me?”

“What do you want?” you beg, hearing Nathaniel move toward you.

There’s a soft hum and you feel lightheaded at the sound. “Your time.”

“My time?”

“Your time in exchange for freedom, little lamb. Better hurry, this offer is about to expire.” 

Nathaniel screams in a rage. Sloshes closer to you. Your heartbeat quickens. You can feel it in your chest, hear it in your ears, your pulse throbbing as he nears. 

“Okay,” you whisper, voice coming out shaky. 

“Then tell me you accept.”

You take a deep breath. “I accept.” 

There’s a brush at the nape of your neck, warm and soft. Though you’ve never been kissed before, you think that it’s the press of lips, intimate and barely there. Something inside you flickers to life, like a new instinct that has opened its eyes for the first time. You’re aware of another presence, a soft buzz that presses down on you as it stands up next to you. 

Thunder rolls and you feel someone brush by you.  A hand touches your cheek almost fondly, fingers dragging along the curve of your jaw. Blinking slowly, you lean into the touch, seeking its comfort. You don’t know who it belongs to. All you know is that just the feel of fingers on your skin has your stomach flipping, your toes curling. 

The hand drops from your face and you immediately miss the contact. Opening your eyes, you see another flash of lightning. There’s someone standing in front of you dressed in black, slick with rain. You can’t make out anything much, just the shape of a man in a dark cloak. 

A god. You know he’s a god, whoever this savior is. You know that something has heard your screams in the dark and has come to give you what you wanted. What you begged for. 

“She is no longer available to you,” the god announces to Nathaniel. It’s not the same whisper as a moment ago, but a deep, raspy voice. Dark. Demanding. “She’s mine.” 

“That’s my betrothed,” Nathaniel answers, though it comes out like a question, his voice trembling. “I– she belongs to-”

“Me,” the dark god assures. A loud clap of thunder makes you flinch. “Goodbye, Nathaniel Laudermill.” 

Nathaniel screams. You don’t know what happens. There’s just his shout of terror in the dark and a roll of thunder that shakes the trees and rattles the earth. You feel the vibration in the water from the unearthly thunder before you realize that this sound, this trembling, is the wrath of a god. 

The sound fades and the shaking stops. You feel more than see the god in front of you turn to face you, a sweeping warmth as he bends down. You cannot make out any features, your vision swimming with bursts of color in the lack of light. 

“You’re with me now,” he assures you. “And you should not be afraid.” 

Gentle hands reach out and cradle your face. You’re suddenly tired, every pain in your body weighing you down like stones, pulling at you until you’re closing your eyes and succumbing to the heavy exhaustion.

The last thing you remember is your whispered name on reverent lips. 

-

You’re dreaming. Your eyes are closed in this dream but you feel light and warm. Fingers brush over your cheek, soft and reverent. You hear a gentle, deep humming, a pleasant melody. It smells like clove and cinnamon, making you drift further into the dream. You lean into the hand cupping your face and hear a deep chuckle before drifting off into nothingness. 

-

The first thing you notice is the smell of clove and cinnamon. It’s a soothing scent that sends your heart fluttering as you roll over. The blankets wrapped around you feel divine, soft with a high loft that feels like you’re wrapped in clouds. The mattress is decadent, sucking you in further as you settle in on your side, inhaling deeply.

Then you remember hands tearing at your legs. Ripping you by the hair. Water filling your lungs and throat. The flash of lightning and the cold rain as you were dragged under a flood again and again. 

With a gasp you sit up in bed, heart hammering. You still as you look around, mouth dropping open at the opulent room. The bed is the largest thing you’ve ever seen, on a low platform swimming with charcoal colored sheets and pillows. The headboard looks like polished obsidian, glinting in the low light provided by dozens of flickering candles.

Stone walls make up the room, rough rock with sconces of flickering flames. The room is sprawling with a sitting area a step down from the bed, decorated with chaise lounges, a coffee table and high-backed chairs situated in front of a fireplace. Flames crackle on a log, orange light dancing across the room. On either side of the fireplace are bookshelves that stretch up to the high ceiling.

Across from the bed are open double doors where you can see a magnificent bathroom. From your vantage point, you can just make out sinks carved from a hewn rock and what looks like a trickling waterfall sluicing down the wall. 

Turning to the left, there is a set of glass doors, a balcony just on the other side. It appears to be nighttime outside, thousands of stars glittering through the glass and the largest moon you’ve ever seen suspended in the sky like a lone coin.

Carefully, you peel back the covers. You’re still in the wedding dress your mother made you. It’s stained and tattered and bloodied, making your stomach flip uncomfortably as you look down on it. Sitting on the edge of the bed, you place your feet on the stone flooring, expecting it to be cold to the touch. 

It isn’t. Warmth radiates from the floor through the soles of your feet, making you sigh, tension bleeding from your shoulders as you close your eyes for a moment. Though the aches and the pains from being scratched and hit and torn down are gone, you wince as you recall them. 

Your parents were going to force you to marry Nathaniel. You don’t know how you missed the signs before, how you thought that there was any other path. With your elbows pressed to your knees, you hang your head in your hands, pressing your eyes shut and taking another shuddering breath.

This time, a sob slips out. Somehow, you had tricked yourself into thinking that your parents would abide by your wishes to make your own choices. Foolish, you realize. Your father had not grown complacent. He had been biding his time, waiting to strike. 

The smallest viper has the greatest sting.

And your mother was going to let him do it. The woman who had brought you into the world screaming and bloody was going to pass you off to a man, even if it meant that man dragged you kicking and screaming to the altar. 

Disgust curls in your stomach and your hands turn into firsts, pressing against your closed lids and making bursts of colors flash in your eyes. Split down the middle, one part of you mourns the loss of the parents you thought that you had. The other is an open wound, festering with a hateful infection at the very thought of them. 

The sound of the door opening catches your attention. Your heart leaps as you sit up straight, dropping your hands into your lap as a man slips through the large double doors near the sitting area. Your breath catches in your chest as he sweeps into the room, looping his hands behind his back as he sets his dark eyes on you and approaches. 

He’s the most beautiful creature you’ve ever seen, you think. Inky hair falls into his enigmatic eyes. His skin is deep gold, a contrast to the all-black blouse that he wears tucked into black pants. You see the open collar of his shirt revealing a patch of tan skin and an elegant throat, but it’s his face that shatters your mind. 

The man - or god, you think - has a square, masculine jaw offset with a delicate mouth the color of rose petals. His nose is straight and wide and would look ridiculous on anyone else. On him, it’s the perfect balance, his cheekbones high and angular, cutting the roundness of his nose. 

“Good to see you’re awake,” he greets. The man stops at the edge of the step that leads to where the bed sits higher than the rest of the room. You stare and stare and stare at him, unable to process words as he grins at you. His voice is dulcet and warm, but not the voice that promised to save you. “How do you feel?”

“I…” you rasp out and you shake your head, unable to think of anything else.

His mouth quirks and he nods. “It sounds like you had a terrible time. How about you take a well-deserved bath and get out of that terrible dress? Sorry to have left you in it, I was under strict instructions not to invade your personal space.”

“Yes, please.” You hesitate. “Where am I? Whose instructions?”

“You’re somewhere safe with someone who wants you to remain safe.” 

“Where is safe?”

He gives you a secretive smile as he nods toward the bathroom before turning on his heel and striding away. On unsteady feet, you follow him. It helps that the floor is warm, giving you the strength you need to make it down the two steps and across the stone toward the bathroom. 

“I don’t think I’m the right person to answer your question,” he admits. “I’m just here to help you get settled. My name is Taehyung, by the way.”

“Taehyung.” You say the word, familiarizing yourself with the shape of it as you enter the room and stop. 

The bathroom is far more luxurious than you realized from afar. There is a waterfall running down the black rockface between two basins, trickling into a little fountain that drains on the floor. To the right side of the bathroom is a large body of steaming water. 

Herbal scents fill the room as you near the edge of the dark surface of the water. It reminds you of hot springs in a cave near the southern villages, a place you’d only heard of but never seen. It’s massive, surrounded by a smooth, stone edge. There is a corner full of what appears to be salts, soaps and herbs alongside flickering candles. 

Opposite the hot spring is a giant glass window that overlooks mountains and lush greenery. From the window, you can see the entire world of wherever you are stretched out in the most dazzling and wonderful display. You can’t help but feel as though you’re somewhere that belongs in the epitome of night.

“How deep is that?” you ask, turning to Taehyung with a wary expression as you gesture to the body of water. 

His expression softens. “Waist high when you stand in the middle. There is a ledge that you can sit on all the way around. It’s incredibly safe and very warm. I can stand just outside the door if anything goes wrong.”

“Okay.” 

Taehyung points to a stack of clothes resting on a stool near a cabinet full of towels and jars of things. “Those are for you to change into. The towels are for you to dry off, of course. Anything in the bathroom is yours to use.” Taehyung must sense your hesitation, because he gives you a soft smile. “You’re safe here. I promise.” 

“I’d feel better if I knew where here was.”

“Bathe. Relax. Then I’ll take you to him.” 

Taehyung does not give you a chance to ask to whom he refers. He strides out of the room and the door swings shut seemingly on its own. You blink a few times at it, standing in the middle of the warm bathroom in a daze.

Spinning, you look around the room and find yourself drawn to the window. Up close, you realize how high up you are. It’s a bit dizzying, and you look  down at the ground only to see that there is a garden bursting with purple and blue, neat rows of flowers that stretch until they meet a line of trees. 

A world of mountains unfolds beyond the window. You’ve never seen mountains but they are larger than you could have ever imagined, snowcaps stark against the night sky. It’s mesmerizing and a little too big, so you turn away from the window and head for the steaming basin of water. 

Peaking over the edge, you can see the bottom. It doesn’t look that deep, but your stomach twists as you pop the buttons on your dress. Your fingers feel stiff and disjointed as you work to undress. You look down at the ripped threads and the dirty fabric and think about how much time your mother spent stitching it.

Suddenly the dress feels suffocating and you pull hard on the garment, popping buttons from the threads and sending them clattering on the floor. You shed the dress and kick it away from you, stripping off your undergarments and lowering yourself to the edge of the water. 

A sigh leaves your mouth as you slide your feet and legs in first. The water is hot, though not scalding like you expected. Closing your eyes, you remain sitting on the edge for a moment, letting your calves soak and muscles unwind, fingers gripping the edge tight. 

Taking a deep breath, you slide forward a little, firmly placing your feet on the ledge Taehyung spoke of. For a moment, your fear spikes. You feel it sharp in your chest and you squeeze your eyes shut, gripping the edge of the basin. With a few deep breaths, you carefully slide down to the ledge proper, sinking in the hot water to the chest. 

“I’m not going to drown,” you whisper to yourself. The words come out shaky and you’re not entirely sure that you believe them. “I’m not going to drown, I am not going to drown, I am not going to drown.”

You repeat the mantra until you believe it, your fingers grasping the edge of the stone seat as you try to relax and melt into the water. It takes a while, but you finally grow too tired of remaining tense, taking a deep breath and gaining the courage to relax. 

Gently, you rest your head against the edge of the basin. Heat seeps into your skin and you feel the anxiety bleed out of you, your tensed muscles unwinding. You hadn’t realized how clenched up you were until you let go, and your body sags a little bit in the water. 

Time slips away. Thankfully, your body doesn’t hurt the way you anticipated that it would. Frowning, you press your fingers into your skin where there should be bruises and pain. There is no evidence on your skin that Nathaniel laid his hands on you the night before - the day before? You’re unsure how much time has passed, only that there is an eerie absence of your wounds.

Turning your head, you look at your dress discarded on the floor. There’s certainly evidence of a struggle spattered all over the fabric, but it makes you wonder if the god who answered your prayers has healed you.

A god. 

The thought comes to you in a snap and you stare down at the water, eyes unfocusing as you try to recall the details of what happened. You remember screaming for help, the sound of your desperation ripping through your mouth. You don’t think you’ve ever screamed like that, terrified and wild. You remember thinking about the gods, begging them to hear you, willing them to listen. 

Water had been filling your lungs. Crushing out air. You remember the rush of the stream around you as it pulled at your fighting body. Nathaniel’s hands gripping you and holding you under viciously, fingers like claws as he tried to drown you. 

Then you surfaced and choked, completely shrouded in darkness…. And you remember that quiet voice made of smoke and shadow. Thinking of it now makes you shiver, despite how hot the water is. The voice had promised you freedom in exchange for time and had taken you to wherever this place was. 

You open your eyes, unsure when you had even closed them. Glancing around the room once more, you decide there is no way that you’re anywhere close to home. You’ve never seen anything like this bathroom before, a feat of what appears to be architecture and maybe magic. 

Soaps and salts line the edges of the bathing pool. When you feel brave enough, you dart across the middle like a minnow, trying not to think about how you nearly crossed death’s bridge in a shallow body of water not long ago. 

Unscrewing lids, you smell each of the glass bottles of liquid, humming in delight. You settle on a hard bar of soap that smells like lavender and mint. It feels good to scrub your skin raw. You imagine that you’re washing away all of the memories of Nathaniel’s fingers on your skin and the scratchy dress your mother made for you.

Fingers and feet pruned and skin feeling stripped of a top layer, you reluctantly exit the bath. The towels are the softest thing you’ve ever felt. You run the fabric between your fingers, tilting your head up at the sky and sighing. Wherever this dark god has taken you doesn’t seem so terrifying, yet it puts you more on edge, these luxuries. 

The clothes Taehyung left out for you fit well enough, though it’s obvious they are not your exact measurements. He’s provided you with soft, black pants and a loose, black tunic with intricate designs that look like clouds on the sleeves and collar. 

You hesitate when you’re ready to leave the bathroom. So far, it seems that whatever bargain you’ve struck with this god has been in your favor. But you know you’ve made a deal in a moment of fear, and you’re not entirely sure what you’ve agreed to.

Time.

Though you’re nervous, you can’t stay hidden in the bathroom forever. Nudging the door open, you peek around the edge, gaze sweeping the room as you look for Taehyung. He’s standing in the sitting area, face toward the flickering fire. He looks both terrifying and beautiful, hands linked behind his back as he watches the flames. 

“You don’t have to be afraid of me,” Taehyung calls without turning around. “I mean it when I tell you that you’re safe.”

Slipping through the door, you walk toward him, regarding him warily. “Still,” you answer. “I don’t know where I am. Are you even human?”

He does look over his shoulder then, flashing you a wicked grin. “I’m not.” 

Taehyung’s answer doesn’t put you at ease, but you’re unsure what to do. Wordlessly, he gestures for you to follow him as he heads through the door and out of the room. For a moment, you hesitate. What would happen if you refused to leave the room? Is your deal with the god already in effect? What are its limitations? 

You can answer none of the questions you have, so you follow Taehyung, hoping to find answers soon. Except as soon as you step out of the room, you think you might have even more questions. 

The halls are dark and lit with flickering torches, casting an orange glow up to the cavernous ceilings. Though you’ve never been in a castle or seen one, you have an idea of how grand they are. There is no doubt in your mind that this is a castle, the halls resplendent and sweeping with artwork and fabric and statues. 

In front of you, Taehyung walks jovially with his hands linked behind his back. He hums a tune you don’t know, but it sounds smooth and warm. You follow behind him, casting your gaze around as you walk, trying to remember which turns you take and what paintings you pass. 

You reach a tall, closed set of wooden double doors. Taehyung raps his fingers against the door, looking over his shoulder at you with an excited grin. Your stomach flips and you wipe your palms against the bottom of your tunic. Your hands feel shaky and you twine them into the fabric, willing them to stop. 

Taehyung must hear someone on the other side of the door, because he opens it and steps in and to the side, gesturing for you to enter. You take a deep breath and walk by him into the room, stopping immediately as you look up, your mouth falling open. 

It’s a library grander than you could ever imagine. Your town had quite a small library at the church that belonged to the high priest, but this is something beyond your wildest dreams. The ceiling stretches higher than your imagination, filled with floating lights and stars - the entire night sky is stretched above you in swirling constellations of purple and blue. 

Three floors make up the library, each lined with books and windows that look out into the evening. You can see sprawling gardens beyond the tinted glass, but it’s the shelves of books that catch your attention. Stepping into the room further, you slowly spin, looking at the sheer amount of volumes that line the walls. There are multiple seating areas with rich, velvet blue armchairs and couches, tables full of books and papers and ink bottles and maps. 

Your throat tightens as you look at Taehyung, your mouth wobbling. The urge to burst into tears has never felt greater than this moment. You never imagined that you could stand in a room with so many books, and the desire to pull one off the shelf and delve in is cut short by the single, glaring fact that you don’t know how to read them. 

Distracted by the books upon entry, it takes you a moment to notice another presence in the room. You feel a tingle at the back of your neck, one that draws your eyes toward a long table near the fireplace. It’s the same feeling you had when you were saved from Nathaniel, an awareness that buzzes along your skin.

A man stands in front of the table, watching you with dark, feline eyes. He’s beautiful. Otherworldly, really. His round features remind you of the moon, but it’s the sharp eyes and the careful pout of his mouth that draws you in. He looks both delicate and dangerous, and you notice the quirk on his lips as he watches you watch him. 

He’s in all black. Black pants tucked into black, knee-high boots, and a black, long-sleeved shirt. There’s a layer of necklaces around his neck and you can see shapes and runes that are unfamiliar to you. The same runes and shapes are on the rings on his long, delicate fingers, folded in front of him. 

This is the face of a god. You know it in the way that there’s something ancient in his eyes and in the way he glows from within. His power is tangible, a crackling energy pressing up against every nerve in your body. 

“How are you feeling?” his voice vibrates right to your core. Soft and dark like you remember it, though a little rougher now. Gravelly. He studies you, unmoving. “Hopefully well-rested?”

“I feel…. Better.” Finding the words is hard in his presence, especially under the scrutiny of his gaze. You want to dart out of the room and hide, but you also don’t want to leave the library without exploring. “I think I should thank you?”

It comes out as a question and he smirks a little. Your stomach flutters at the sight; he raises a brow. “You’re welcome. Are you hungry? You’ve been asleep for nearly a day.”

The door shuts behind you and you startle, whirling around to see that Taehyung has left you. Your nerves fray further and you turn back to look at the god watching you. Behind him on the table, you realize it is a feast of sorts. Roasted meats and poultry, platters of fruit, plates of cheese and neatly arranged crackers, steaming pans of vegetables and things you cannot identify. 

He notices. “You must be starving. Come. Eat.” When you don’t move, he sighs. “I didn’t save you just to harm you.” 

It’s true enough. You carefully approach the table, eyeing him as he unclasps his hands and pulls out a chair for you. When you hesitate, he arches a dark brow again and you feel yourself grow warm in the face, muttering your thanks as you hurry over to the chair and sit down. 

The god’s presence is buzzing. He doesn’t touch you, but it’s like you feel him anyway, just an inch away from you. He helps you slide your chair in and gives a deep, contented sigh before he moves toward the opposite end of the table, taking the dull hum of energy with him. 

Across the table, he sits. His gaze finds yours again as you stare at him, finding it difficult to look anywhere else. Even with the smell of a divine meal, your attention on him is a fixed point. If this bothers him, he doesn’t show it. Instead, he leans back in his seat, casual and confident. 

“Have what you like,” he offers. “I don’t know what you enjoy and I didn’t want to pry.”

The table is full of options. You chew the inside of your cheek. There is glazed duck and roasted ham, creamy looking potatoes and sauced vegetables. Your stomach growls and twists painfully as you stare at your choices. 

“The duck is good,” he offers gently. You glance up. He nods towards the dish in question. “Sorry, it’s probably overwhelming.”

“A little,” you answer, but take him up on his advice and go for the duck. “Where are we?”

“In between.”

You frown as you plate different foods, fingers sticky as you do. You’re hyper-aware of him watching you and you try not to look up, feeling your hands quake as you add roasted veggies to your plate. “What does that mean?”

“Exactly what you think it does. We’re at the in-between of all things. Not a solid place in your sense of understanding. It’s not a physical manifestation of a land mass, but it is a world that contains physical things.” 

“A… dimension?”

“Exactly. This is my domain.”

“And what… are you?”

You look up at him then. His lips twitch at the corners and he tongues the inside of his cheek. “A god. But you already knew that.”

“Wanted to hear you say it.” 

Silence falls between you as you pick up a knife and fork, cutting carefully into your meat. You pop it between your lips, sighing when the duck melts on your tongue with the taste of honey and something else. You sag in the chair, not realizing until now how tense you had been to this point. The food sends a wave of warmth through you and the god watches as you take a few bites, patient as you eat.

“This is fantastic,” you say, glancing at him as you reach for a glass of water. “The flavors are like nothing I’ve ever had.”

“I assure you that all things here are like nothing you’ve ever had.” You hum in agreement, taking another eager bite. You cannot imagine anything in the real world tasting this succulent. You almost wonder if perhaps this is all a dream. “You didn’t pray before you began to eat.”

Your chewing pauses. He’s bemused, giving you a sideways grin with his brows raised. You swallow thickly and say, “Praying never got me anywhere until recently. Why did you help me?”

“Because you asked.”

“You didn’t have to, though.”

It isn’t a question. He answers anyway. “I didn’t.”

“So why did you? The other gods have never helped me.”

“The other gods aren’t me.” His voice is soft and lethal, raising the hair on your arms. “We are not all the same, and you’d do well to not make any further comparisons moving forward.” 

You lower your gaze. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“Gods are fickle beings. We are quick to offend and slow to let go. You don’t know any better and are thus forgiven.” 

“What do I call you?”

For a moment, he hesitates. You think he isn’t going to answer just as he says, “Yoongi. You can call me Yoongi.”

“Is that your name?” 

“It’s one of them.” 

“How many names do you have?”

He chuckles. It’s a delightful sound and you smile, watching him lean his head back against his chair, looking up as he shrugs. “How much time do you have?”

Time. 

Suddenly, you remember that you aren’t here on this god - Yoongi’s - good graces. You’re here because you called for someone in a moment of need and he agreed to help you, but at a cost. Your time. He had asked for your time, and a sense of anxiety tiptoes its way up your spine as you think about the ambiguity of his deal. 

Swallowing harshly, you shift back in your seat. The food in your stomach feels a little heavy, far too rich for you to eat more than a few bites. You’ve only ever known your parents’ staples of meat, bread, cheese, and root vegetables. 

“When you saved me,” you begin. “You made a deal with me.”

“I did.”

“My freedom in exchange for my time.”

His eyes are glittering as he watches you, completely still. The fireplace next to you crackles. It makes shadows dance across his face, giving him the appearance of something wild and untamed. Your heartbeat quickens as you watch him, this godly being, as he stares you down. 

“That was the deal,” he finally hums. His head cocks to the side a little. “I don’t usually discuss business over dinner.”

“I’m done eating.”

He huffs but doesn’t seem annoyed. “Perhaps tea, then? It will help settle your stomach.”

You narrow your eyes. “How do you know that my stomach needs settling?” 

“I know a lot of things.” Yoongi rises and gestures to the chairs directly in front of the fireplace. You stand, following his lead. There’s a quiver of energy in the air and you pause, turning to look back at the table to see it’s completely bare, no trace of anything left. You whip around to look at Yoongi as he sits in a wingback chair. “I can do a lot of things.”

A steaming cup of tea sits on a wooden table next to the chair you sink into. The cushions are soft, swallowing you in and making your muscles melt. The cup is warm when you pick it up, steam curling off the surface. Sniffing, your eyes flutter as you inhale the smell of mint. 

“What are you the god of?” You open your eyes and look at him. Both of his feet are planted flat on the floor, his arms resting on the arms of the chair. He looks a little stiff, more so than he did at dinner. Orange firelight reflects in his inky eyes. “You’re a god of the dark.” 

“There’s no such thing,” he scoffs, and you frown. “Your concept of gods is skewed. There is neither good nor evil, light nor dark. There are just gods.” 

“So it doesn’t matter who you pray to?”

“We don’t need your patronage. If we did, we wouldn’t be gods, would we?” You’d never thought of it that way. You sip your tea, letting the warmth and sharp mint bloom in your mouth. “We’re beyond the simple classification that mortals use to understand and organize what they think our intentions are. I have been classed as both good and evil, light and dark, benevolent and malevolent.”

“But surely there are things that are inherently evil, even among the gods.”

“Of course there isn’t. Evil is a point of view. It is a word used to define the feeling one has when the opposite of their desire occurs.” 

“I… guess that makes sense. But isn’t something like murder wrong?”

“Are you not the villain of the duck you ate today?” You blanch. Yoongi looks smug as he gestures vaguely with his hands. “Are you not evil for calling down the wrath of a god on Nathaniel Laudermill?”

“He was going to kill me.”

“You rejected his hand in marriage. You did the opposite of what he desired. I believe in his eyes, you are the evil. Is Death evil for doing what he was made to do?” 

Yoongi’s words make your head spin. You gulp a mouthful of scalding tea before setting it on the table next to you, your mind reeling. The realization that you’re sitting in a library with a starry ceiling arguing over morals and the concept of evil with a god who has saved you from certain death makes you giggle. 

He seems surprised by your sudden outburst, raising his brows as you cover your mouth, your fingers pressed to your lips as you try to contain your sudden mirth. “Sorry. This seems absolutely insane. I’m arguing over the word ‘evil’ with a god in a realm that is everywhere and nowhere at all. It feels like perhaps I’m dreaming.”

“You’re not. Though your dreams are dizzying and far more colorful than anyone else I know. You should be proud of them.” You furrow your brows. How does he know what you dream of? Before you can ask him to clarify, Yoongi says, “You wanted to discuss the deal.”

“Oh. Right. What did you mean by wanting my time in exchange for my freedom?”

“It’s simple. I want you to spend two weeks each month here.” 

Yoongi’s words sink in as you look at the window behind him. Outside, the world is sinking into what you think might be night. The sky is swimming with stars and constellations, stuck in a perpetual twilight of sorts. You’re reminded that somehow, Yoongi is like the moon and the night itself, especially when you find his dark gaze on you as he waits for your response. 

“Why?”

He lifts a shoulder. “I’m often very alone. It would be nice to have some company.” 

“That’s it? You just want me to hang out in exchange for saving me?” He nods. “That seems too easy.” 

His lips curve upward. “Maybe I’m very annoying.” 

For some reason you think it might not be true. You think of all the things that you’ve heard about the gods. Yoongi tells you that everything you know about them is wrong, but you know that the gods of the dark are tricksters. They are experts in the art of luring mortals in, and you wonder if that’s what he’s doing now. 

“Does it have to be consecutive weeks?” you ask, trying to bide time to collect your thoughts and work out his intentions. “Or can it be a collective?”

“Consecutive.” 

“What… what happens when I go home? With my family.”

Yoongi’s face grows stormy. You shift in your seat. “You’re under my protection,” he says after a moment of deliberation. “You’ll bear a mark that protects you. No one will force their will upon you again.”

“Can you?”

He shakes his head, long hair brushing the tops of his shoulders. He looks haunting in the firelight, but beautiful. You avert your gaze, fixating on the books in the room instead. “You have my word, I will never control you. I promised you freedom, that includes me.” 

“But I have to be here. I can’t escape from that. Is that freedom?”

“You made that decision of your own free will. It’s your words that bind you here, not mine. While you’re here, you are able to do whatever it is you desire. In fact, I encourage it.” 

“Wording is really important to you, isn’t it?”

He chuckles and inclines his head, fingers tapping the arm of his chair. “It is. Consider the first day of your deal already spent. You slept most of it off while you healed.” Yoongi stands, drawing your attention to him. “Sleep more,” he insists gently. “Tomorrow, I’ll give you a tour.”

The thought of a tour - and seeing Yoongi for more days - thrills you. Taehyung appears at the doorway as Yoongi escorts you out. He wishes you goodnight and lets Taehyung take you back to your room, though you feel his gaze and presence as you leave. 

It isn’t until you’re back in your room that you realize you never asked Yoongi how long your deal is supposed to last. It occurs to you that while he has given you a sort of freedom, perhaps he has taken something from you after all. 

-

Tall trees surround you. Above them, you can make out a swirling sky of stars and planets and several moons, so bright that it turns the forest a shade of blue. The woods around you are familiar, and there’s a well-walked path just ahead of you that leads to the river by your home. You’ve walked among these trees and creatures hundreds of times, but never with a sky like this.

Crickets chirp as you walk through the woods now. Grass tickles your bare feet, the earth soft and damp beneath you. It smells like fresh rain, but there’s no flood or mud as you navigate by instinct. 

It’s peaceful out here. How many times have you come here to escape your father’s rage? How many times have you sat, back pressed against a tree, watching the light fade from the world until it was too dark to see where you were going? You always managed to get home safely, even with the lack of light. 

The river rushes a few yards ahead. You pick a spot to sit and watch, beneath the cover of leaves. The sound of running water and the smell of rain on the wind lulls you into a trance and you close your eyes, resting for a while. 

Here is where you find peace. Where you dream. 

Awareness creeps up on you and you open your eyes, looking upward as you sense someone approaching. Yoongi stands next to you, onyx eyes gazing at the river. He’s in black clothes like before, his hands tucked into his pockets. You smell clove and cinnamon, making you dizzy. Power radiates off of him but it feels warm and safe. Like the night air itself comes from his existence. 

“Am I dreaming?” you ask him. He looks down at you, an obsidian strand of hair falling in his face. He nods, giving you a gentle smile. “This is often where I go to dream.”

“I know.”

“How do you know?”

Yoongi doesn’t answer you. He looks back to the rushing river, his face becoming unreadable. He looks like he’s somewhere far away, lost in his thoughts. Absently, he says, “Your dreams are my favorite.”

“What do you mean?”

“They are bright, full of life and color and sound. You dream the way people create art, the way people create worlds. It is rare to see such magnificence among the sleeping.” 

“I just…” you shrug. “Think of places I would rather be.” 

Yoongi looks at you then and his face is shadowed, full of thunder. “You’ll never be forced to live that life again.” 

“Do you promise?” 

He opens and closes his mouth, narrowing his eyes a little before shaking his head. You feel a smile tug at your mouth, endeared by his microexpressions. “Yes, little lamb. I promise.”

-

You wake with a start, sitting up in bed and looking around. The room spins as your brain tries to catch up with your body, your physical and mental awareness completely out of sync as you swivel your head, drinking in the unfamiliar room and the soft sheets that smell like clove and cinnamon. 

For a moment, you forget where you are, and adrenaline surges through you. Your fingers twist in the sheets as you ground yourself, memories from the day before slotting into place. Letting out a long exhale, you relax, flopping backward in the opulent bed, your heart rate slowing down as your panic bleeds out of you. 

You’re in Yoongi’s home. In a place that is somewhere in between - whatever that means. The god has told you on multiple occasions that you’re safe and have nothing to fear from him and for some reason…. You believe him. Maybe it’s naive, but you can’t erase the feeling that Yoongi is being honest with you, that he has good intentions. 

Perhaps it’ll get you into trouble one day. For now, you cast off doubt and peel yourself out of bed, trailing to the windowed doors that lead to the balcony beyond. You try the handle and are delighted to find them unlocked. Slipping through the doors, you’re met with warm, balmy air. It smells like petrichor, the breeze kissing your skin gently.

Like before, the world seems wrapped in permanent twilight. There is no sun in the sky, but a vast stretch of swimming stars and the largest moon you’ve ever seen. In the distance, dark mountains loom over you, their peaks capped in snow and wreathed in mist. 

Forest stretches out toward them in a vibrant shade of green. There’s a settee on the balcony along with a table and chairs. Leaning on the stone railing, you look down to see colorful gardens and a large pond full of vibrant fish.

All of the radiance makes you smile. You’ve never seen colors so rich, and you’re unable to recall if your world was this vibrant. The garden below is bursting with violet and cerulean, the flowers unfamiliar to you. Their fragrant smell wafts up to the balcony, a hint of sweetness in the air. 

A roll of thunder catches your attention. You look to the east, noticing that one of the mountains in the distance is darker than the others. Lightning crackles in the sky around it and the mist is heavier there. You think the trees are darker too, though you can’t tell if they’re gray or if it’s the shade from the swollen thunderheads drifting over them. 

Behind you, the door to the balcony opens and startles you. Whirling around, you find Taehyung leaning against the frame, mouth curved upwards in a sideways grin. “When you didn’t answer the door I got worried.”

“I thought I was safe here? What is there to be worried about?”

He shrugs. “Maybe you took a dive off of the balcony.”

“What is that place?” you point to the thundering, shrouded mountain. Taehyung looks where you point, his smile dropping as he stares at the looming peak. “By the look on your face, somewhere bad.”

“Bad is a relative term.” 

You scrunch your nose. “You sound like Yoongi.”

“Already familiar, are we? Cute.” He pushes off the door frame and beckons you inside. “Ask Yoongi about it on your tour.”

“Are you not coming along?”

“I have things to do.”

“Like what?”

“Not give tours.”

If it weren’t for Taehyung’s playful tone and glint in his eye when he casts you a glance, you’d think you were bothering him. Instead of getting angry, he drapes himself on one of the couches by the fireplace, long legs dangling off the arm as he lounges.

Today, he’s in charcoal colored pants and a red, billowing shirt that shows off the smooth, tan skin of his chest. A dangling earring catches your attention as he leans his head back, silky hair shifting. If Yoongi is made of moonlight, you think that Taehyung might be made of sunlight: golden skin, warm energy. 

“By all means,” you mutter. “Hang out.” 

“This is my home first, human. I shall do as I please.”

You make a sound at the back of your throat and roll your eyes, walking toward a large, polished wardrobe made from dark wood. It smells like fresh cedar when you pull on the brass handle, opening the door to reveal tunics and dresses, all hung neatly. 

Rich silks, velvets and cottons greet you. You run your hand over the materials, amazed at how soft they feel. They are far better quality than your mother ever had access to. Your heart squeezes when you think of her, and you shake your head a little as if to physically dispel thoughts of your family out of your mind.

Facing them seems like an impossible task. You know that you’ll have to eventually. Two weeks with Yoongi in this strange world seems like a long time, but you’re not sure if it’s nearly long enough to mentally prepare to go back and face them after what’s happened. Will they still be angry? What will they say? Will they have been worried about you all this time?

There’s no way to know the answer. So instead, you pretend none of that exists. For once, you have stumbled into a dream and adventure like you’ve always wanted, and you intend on playing the part. 

An emerald shirt catches your eye. It’s made of a silky material, supple when you rub the sleeve between your fingers. It’s plain, save for the laced string at the throat to cinch and tie it off. You grab a pair of black, cotton pants as well, the fabric just as soft as the sheets in your bed. 

With Taehyung humming on the couch, you let yourself into the bathroom to change. You appreciate that the floor is warm wherever you go barefoot, and you quickly slide out of your clothes from the previous day and into the new ones. The measurements are a little off, but more than manageable as you pull the tie closed at your throat. Glancing into the mirror, you can’t help but smile a little.

You look so different. The shirt belongs to someone adventurous, you think. Perhaps a pirate or a huntress riding atop her horse through the woods. You slide your fingers along the material, its softness inviting and magical. 

Two weeks. You’ll be here for two weeks with Yoongi, a god who has been alive for hundreds of years, if your conversation from the night before was anything to go off of. It feels surreal and you’re a little nervous, but more than that, you’re excited.

Suddenly, the world is full of possibilities. No marriage to tie you down, no power held in your parents’ hands. 

 “Gods you’re slow to get dressed,” Taehyung announces when you enter the room. He sits up, appraising your outfit. “Green looks good on you.”

“How many are there?” he cocks his head at your question, peeling himself from the seat. “Gods and goddesses, I mean.”

“Pfft. Hundreds.”

“Hundreds?” 

“Maybe thousands, I don’t really know. There’s basically an infinite amount of universes. All anyone mostly cares about are the Eternals, the gods who remain the same no matter what name or history mortals assign to them.”

“Eternals?”

“Mhmm.” Taehyung leads you into the hallway. His hands are tucked into his pockets as he strolls leisurely. You follow beside him eagerly, looking up as he seems thoughtful. “Gods are hard to define. They are great beings with massive power. Some gods do the same thing, some don’t. They come from the infinite amount of worlds to which they are native, and somehow make it into mortal history. But the Eternals have always been here, always known. They do not change.”

“Who are the Eternals?”

“Life, death, chaos, time, pathos, dream and fate.” He makes a face then. “Fate and chaos are hard. They work in direct opposition to one another. It drives time insane, naturally.”

Seven Eternals. It makes sense, from a logical standpoint. Every world must have life and death and the passing of time. Where there exists a living thing, there exists a vessel of emotion and dreams. In all worlds there is the potential for chaos disrupting fate. 

“Yoongi is an Eternal?”

Taehyung glances sidelong at you, smug. “Yes, Yoongi is an Eternal.”

“Why do you look at me like that when I say his name?” Taehyung doesn’t answer, instead smirking as if he’s enjoying a private joke. Your fists close and open as you swallow down a demand to tell you what he finds so amusing. “Which one is he?”

“Have you no guesses?”

That makes you think. Recalling the night before, you remember the way Yoongi looks: dark eyes swimming with something magical, a soft and raspy voice, the way he appeared in your dreams. 

Though your dreams are mesmerizing and far more colorful than anyone else I know. You recall what he said about your dreams, the way he leveled his gaze at you, full of meaning that you didn’t understand. 

“Dreams,” you say, certain that you're right. “He’s the Eternal of Dreams?”

“He isn’t of dreams. He is Dream.”

You’re unable to clarify Taehyung’s emphasis on Yoongi being a deity of dreams as he opens the door to the same library as before. This time, he doesn’t knock. When you step inside, you realize it’s because the room is empty. Yoongi is nowhere to be seen, though pale light filters in through the windows. It’s still forever twilight outside, yet a little lighter. It feels like morning, even if it does not entirely appear to be morning. 

Behind you, the door shuts. You turn to see Taehyung has left without another word, leaving you entirely alone in the captivating space. 

Without hesitation, you walk to the nearest shelf housing rows and rows of books. The spines range from muted browns and neutrals to bright reds and rich blues. Velvet books, leather books, canvas, silk. There is no shortage of materials making up each one, letters painted, printed or stitched down the back of them to denote what they are. 

Each one breathes a world of possibility as you drag your finger along the shape of them. You wonder how many worlds and histories are scribbled away in the pages of this room, the very idea of it overwhelming. 

Trinkets and objects you’re unfamiliar with line the shelves as well. Your fingers trace their shape and you wonder what they are. One object in particular catches your eye in the corner of the room. It stands on three metal legs and has large, interlocking rings that spin lazily in some unknown pattern. The rings are hammered metal and appear to have markings engraved on them.

The device slowly spins of its own accord. Upon inspection, there seems to be nothing else responsible for its motion except magic or science that is beyond you. You can see that there are seven metal rings and different markings on each of them, but you cannot guess what the engravings read. 

“It represents the balance of the Eternals. Taehyung mentioned you had a vague starting point as to what I am.”

Yoongi’s deep voice makes you leap and screech, spinning on your heels to face him. Your hand flies to your chest and you can feel your heartbeat rattling wildly. Yoongi stands a few feet away from you, hands linked behind his back and eyebrows raised at your reaction. 

He’s dressed similar to the night before, though a little more casual. His black pants are tucked into knee high boots, and his black shirt is loose fitted with silver stitching around the collar. You notice that it’s in patterns of stars and moons, furthering your confirmation that Yoongi is associated with dreams in some manner. 

Yoongi’s long hair is pulled half out of his face today, tied away in a bun. The rest of his hair brushes the tops of his shoulders as his inky eyes regard you patiently. His curiosity makes you feel warm all over and you drop your hands to your sides, fingers twitching. 

“How so?” you ask. You turn back to the device. “What does it run on?”

“Our energy. Each ring represents a member of my family. The speed at which they turn represents the balance among us. When the speed is off, the balance is off.”

“What causes the balance to be off?” 

Yoongi steps closer to you. You hold your breath as he does it, but you can feel his presence like a buzzing vibration at the back of your neck.

His voice is softer when he answers, “A number of things. Sometimes some of us aren’t always performing the way we should be. Other times, we’re overperforming. Or fighting, really, as siblings are wont to do.”

“I don’t know what that’s like.”

“You’re not missing much. Especially when your siblings are as ancient and never ending as you are.” 

“How… old are you?”

You look at Yoongi to see he’s standing next to you now. He looks at you, face impassive as he lifts a shoulder. “How old is the earth? How old is existence? It’s hard to say.” 

“Where do you come from?”

“Chaos was first. Life and Death were next, twins born of the sudden whims of Chaos. I was next, for Life often dreamed. Time was always there, though no one knows if Time or Chaos came first. Pathos and Fate came later.”

You nod, though you don’t fully understand the scope of how old and fathomless the existence of things like chaos and time and dreams are. It makes your head spin, trying to conceptualize the thing next to you who looks very much like an ordinary man being something so ancient and primordial that he precedes human existence entirely. 

“You’re overwhelmed,” he notes, a bit of amusement in his voice. “I don’t blame you. The best way to understand it is that I am a living concept that can never be destroyed, so long as there exists something to dream about.” 

Crossing his arms in front of him, Yoongi clasps his hands and gives you a slight smile. He has a pretty smile, you realize. Delicate and almost shy. It makes your heart flutter and you mentally chastise yourself for thinking that a being of eternal dreams can possibly be shy. 

“How about a tour? Our deal is that you’ll spend two weeks a month here. I’d love for you to feel like this is a place you can be familiar with, if not something akin to a home.”

“Home?”

His smile grows. “If that word ever seems fitting, sure.”

Home. The word makes you think about what home means to you and suddenly you feel a pit form in the bottom of your stomach. Flashes of a flooded forest, lighting lancing across the sky, hands gripping you tight and shoving you under the water. 

“Um,” you clear your throat. “So a tour.”

Yoongi’s eyes glitter as he grins and turns, using a hand to gesture to the wide library. “This is the main library, but we’ll end our tour here. Let’s go through the gardens first, it’s nice weather.”

Yoongi starts without you, leaving you to stand staring after him as he goes. His gait is smooth and confident. He presses on a pane of glass that you realize is a door. A breeze teases the loose pieces of his hair, carrying the familiar scent of clove and cinnamon toward you. 

For a moment, you stare after him. Yoongi being a deity of dreams makes so much sense in this moment, stepping into the twilight, face tilted upward slightly as though he’s soaking up the sun. He looks radiant. Tranquil. When he turns to look at you expectantly, his rose pink mouth quirks sideways. 

“Right,” you say, hurrying to follow him. “Outside is where we start.” 

When you pass him, you get the sense that Yoongi wants to tease you further. Instead, he says nothing and leads you into the gardens. A cobblestone path leads from the door through wisteria trees, their amethyst leaves swooping down and filling the air with sweet fragrance. 

Up above, the sky is a mix of blue and purple, thousands of stars twinkling. There is a stone bench near one of the windows of the library, but Yoongi leads you away from the palace and down the path under the trees. The air is crisp and pleasant, cooling your anxious, sweat-slick skin. 

Yoongi links his hands behind his back. “This is the library garden,” he informs you, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. “It’s mostly wisteria trees, which are my favorite to walk through when I need to think.”

“They’re unlike anything I’ve ever seen.”

“Much different from the woods outside of your home.”

“You know the woods outside of my home?”

“You called me there, remember?” You blanch at the memory, but if he notices, Yoongi says nothing. “Besides, I’m familiar with the woods that surround your home. Your village pays homage to my brother.”

“Your brother?”

He hums. “Life. Perhaps they don’t know that it’s him they pray to, but they do.”

Taking a left, Yoongi leads you on a looping path through the massive wisteria trees. They’re larger than anything you’ve ever seen, their bows sweeping monoliths of purple, trunks thick as boulders. A strange creature sits on the branches of one of the trees, making you stop and stare. 

A tiny, carnelian creature sits on a bough, bright against the lavender background of the leaves. It has four legs and scaled feet, sharp talons cutting into the bark as it keeps its balance in the tree. Small wings are folded on its back, bony limbs with paper-thin skin between them, a lighter red than the rest of its body. A long tail snakes around the branch, holding the creature in place as its long neck extends, head tilting to look at you curiously.

“Is that a dragon?” you whisper, staring at it.

You’ve only heard them described in stories, but you don’t really know what they look like. It has scales like a lizard and it blinks two large eyes at you, entirely black. There are small horns on its head, and a forked tongue snakes out as it tastes the air. 

“She’s a fey dragon,” Yoongi hums, looking up at the creature with a smile. “And she’s not supposed to be in the trees here, are you?”

A puff of smoke curls from the dragon’s nose as it huffs, making you take a step backward. Yoongi lets out a deep laugh that makes a tingle rattle down your spine and your toes curl. The sound is like smoke and velvet, heady in the air. 

“She won’t hurt you,” Yoongi assures, shaking his head to continue walking under the dragon’s branch. “She’s a pesky little thing, but she is incredibly sweet. Fey dragons are much smaller than their firedrake cousins and less dangerous than their basilisk relatives.”

With your eyes cast upward, you hurry after Yoongi, keeping your gaze on the large lizard as you run under the branch. Her dark eyes follow you, unblinking and fathomless. The hair on your arms stands up and you can’t help but feel that despite the dragon being small and what Yoongi calls harmless, it is incredibly intelligent. 

“There are dragons here?” 

“There is everything here.”

You frown, finally turning away from the dragon as you leave it behind. “That’s confusing. Everything as in…?”

“When you dream, you have limitless potential. You can go anywhere, be anything, see any creature. Dreams even invent things that do not exist in the natural world. Creatures, stories, songs, words, plants. The possibility for creation in a dream is limitless, and this place is the essence of dreams. It is me.”

“So you are this place and the place is you?”

He seems thoughtful before nodding. “More or less. This is a dream realm as much as it is a collection of ideas, thoughts and hopes. Everything that every living creature has ever dreamed about walks these lands.”

“Even nightmares?”

Yoongi pulls up short and whips his head at you. You bite the inside of your cheek, unable to meet his eyes under his severe expression. In the distance, you swear you hear thunder. An apology springs to your lips, but before you can give it, Yoongi nods sharply once and begins walking again.

“Nightmares too. Do not speak of nightmares here, lest they come searching.”

You think about Taehyung telling you that you were safe but being concerned when you didn’t answer the door earlier that morning. A chill seeps into your bones as you rejoin Yoongi on your walk, his pace not as relaxed now. 

“They come searching?” you try, a little curious, a little afraid. 

“Yes. They are different from dreams. Unpredictable in a way I admire and dislike.” He glances sidelong at you. “They have a mind of their own. You are safe with me always, but it’s best practice to not think of them while you’re here. This world has a way of manifesting.”

For a few moments, you walk in silence. You let your questions fall silent as you look around. The two of you exit the wisteria trees to see a large pond. A single, massive wisteria sits on its western edge with a bench underneath it. 

The surface of the pond is dark and smooth, reflecting the swirling stars in the sky. Yoongi leads you around the mirror surface and points out the mountains in the distance that you could see from your windows. 

“Mountains of Sleep,” he tells you. “It is where all beings who are ready for their eternal rest come to dream for the remainder of their existence. They are also called the Mountains of Divinity, for there are hundreds of divine immortals among their peaks.”

“Really?”

He nods. “Not all beings rest here. Some prefer their own planes and resting grounds. But this existed before those places, and has long been used for the tired and the weary who are ready to retire.”

“Are they dead?”

“No. The dead cannot come here.” He hesitates. “When they do, it is because they are not a dream.”

You get the sense that Yoongi is talking about nightmares again and you shiver as he takes you around the pond. “Don’t let anything in that body of water convince you to go swimming. They won’t intentionally hurt you but they don’t understand the concept of human life.”

“They?”

“They don’t have a name. They are water-folk who were dreamt up by someone once. I admire them and they’re beautiful and wicked smart, but they’re a bit cheeky.”

“I’m starting not to feel as safe as you said I was.”

Yoongi stops and frowns. He lifts a hand as though he’s about to touch your arm before he thinks better of it and drops it at his side. You realize you’re disappointed that he did before mentally kicking yourself, feeling a little ashamed to be so affected by a god. You’re sure Yoongi gets it often, but it makes you feel silly nonetheless. 

“You are safe.” He lowers his head a little, catching your gaze. Though his eyes are midnight black, you swear you see the stars above reflected in their dark pools. “But there are rules everywhere. This place has them just the same as your home did. You were relatively safe there, but there were rules.”

“And then I broke them and Nathaniel tried to murder me.”

“Nathaniel was dealt with and will never touch you again.” Thunder rolls in the distance and your heart flutters at the vehemence with which Yoongi says this. “The misdeeds of your family cannot chase you here.”

You don’t press Yoongi on the matter. Instead, you let him proceed with the tour, keeping your questions to a minimum as you wonder what Yoongi meant by Nathaniel being dealt with. You recall the soft, susurrated voice against your ear when Yoongi found you. The gentle brush of something like a kiss to your neck. The rage and power as he stepped in front of you to face Nathaniel when the deal was done.

It does not require much to make an assumption about Yoongi’s meaning. 

The yards of his palace are sprawling and full of color. Gardens with flowers he doesn’t know the name of but said a little girl had dreamed them and he liked them so he made more. Butterflies with colors you didn’t know existed flitting from plant to plant. Fruit orchards with the ripest, reddest apples you’ve ever seen. 

And the palace. It is the only word you have for it. The building is several stories tall, hewn from dark stone with at least five different towers. Starlight glitters in the windows as Yoongi guides you up the stairs toward the massive double doors that lead to the main entrance of the castle. On the door handle are two wrought-iron griffons with proud faces. 

Without a touch, the doors open on Yoongi’s arrival. You wonder if the building responds to his presence as the door swings open for the two of you. Inside, the foyer is as magnificent as the library, a lush purple carpet rolling over stone floors. 

In the center of the room is a massive spiral staircase. Looking up, you see that it goes all the way up the floors of the palace, dizzying circles of floor after floor. Yoongi explains there are other ways to go all the way up to the top throughout the castle but this is the easiest way, though he assures you that by the third floor you’d be out of breath. 

Each room Yoongi shows you is opulent and warm. Rich, deep wooden furniture, paintings with dark splashes of amethyst, scarlet and gold. Rooms for tea, rooms for painting, rooms for music, rooms for dancing. Yoongi has a room for everything, sometimes occupied by strange little creatures that hide when you walk in or curious things that lift their heads when they see him. 

No one else besides Taehyung seems to be there, though. You come across felines, little balls of light that bounce around Yoongi excitedly and light him up like a burst of flame, a little furry thing that you think is a fox but in a shade of shocking sapphire, and a massive wolf with eyes like ice that blink apathetically at you as you walk by. But never once do you see another person. Even Taehyung seems to be amiss. 

“Does no one else live here?” Yoongi takes you through another room empty of people and things. “It’s so empty.” 

He takes his time to answer as you leave the room and move into the hallway. It’s hard to tell which way you’re going, but you think that you’re headed toward the library again. Your legs ache from going up and down the stairs on an endless tour of rooms, and you’re eager to be in the library once more. 

“There used to be,” Yoongi says slowly. “But people don’t tend to do well in places that they don’t belong.”

“So you’re all alone here?”

His smile is sad. “I have Taehyung.” He pauses before he adds, “And now you.”

I’m often very alone. It would be nice to have some company. You think of Yoongi’s words from the night before and suddenly you’re filled with sadness. Sadness for this ancient being, who seems so gentle and quiet. Who lives alone in this giant castle with all of the world’s dreams around him and no one to share them with. 

Swallowing thickly, you nod. “How do you know I belong?”

“Pardon?”

“Do I? Belong, I mean. You wouldn’t… have me here if I wouldn’t do well, right?”

“No one dreams the way you do.” He says this firmly. Confident. Fierce. “I believe there is nothing you wouldn’t be able to find here.”

“Do you always know what I dream about?” 

“No. But you dream… loudly. Colorfully. Sometimes it’s hard to ignore. I don’t like to pry, though.” 

“Can you see everyone’s dreams?”

“Mhmm. I even make some.”

This catches your attention and you reach out and grab his wrist, stopping him. He glances down where your fingers touch his skin, your fingers buzzing where you’re connected. You flush with warmth and drop your hand, clearing your throat at how forward grabbing him was. 

Yoongi is smirking when you ask, “Can you show me?”

“One day, yes. For now, the end of the tour and lunch.”

At the mention of lunch, your stomach rumbles. His grin spreads into a full smile and Yoongi leads you back to the library. Again, the doors open without his touch and as you pass them, you study them for any sign of an auto-opening mechanism but find none. 

Yoongi’s magic appears limitless. You remember the food disappearing from dinner, the swell of power as Yoongi agreed to save you, and his sudden appearance as you were drowning. You know nothing about the god of dreams or what he’s capable of, but you’re awed at how easy it comes to him. 

“This is the main library.” Yoongi turns around to face you, sweeping his arms out on either side of him. “There are two others: one in my room and one located in the dream tower.”

“You didn’t show me the dream tower.”

“I’ll show you when you’re ready.” 

Unsure what ready means to Yoongi, you look around the library. Same as the night before, the shelves are crammed full of books and scrolls, so much paper and ink that it makes you lightheaded with excitement. It still smells of lemon and wax, though as you pass Yoongi to go to a shelf, you’re overcome with clove and cinnamon again. 

Trying to ignore the shiver that merely walking by Yoongi gives you, you brush the spines of books once again, feeling their potential under your fingertips. 

“You always have access to this library. You can read what you like.”

A pang goes through you and you drop your hand. Without looking at him, you mumble, “Thank you, but I can’t read.”

No response comes. You stare unseeing at the books before taking a breath to turn your head and steal a glance at Yoongi. You expect some sort of amusement or perhaps pity, but his face is unreadable, jaw working.

“That’s okay,” he finally says. “We will teach you. After lunch we will make a schedule to help fill your time here. Reading and writing lessons will be a part of that.”

Your heartbeat quickens. “Do you mean that?”

“Do you want to learn?” You nod your head eagerly. He grins gently. “Then we will teach you.” 

-

Yoongi’s eyes are dark as he presses forward. Your breath catches in your chest as you lay back, looking up at him with your lips parted, heart hammering in your chest. He settles his waist against you, the weight of him pressing you into your bed as you lay back. 

He is so beautiful that it puts you in a daze, staring up into his face as he leans over you. His hair is pulled back, but a few dark strands hang loose. His mouth is stained red with wine, making you want to lean forward and taste his lips and feel their softness. 

Tentatively, you reach a hand up and brush the loose strands of hair out of his face, tucking them behind his ear. You don’t stop touching him, though, hand cradling his flushed face. His eyes flutter shut and he leans into your palm as you cup his cheek, thumb sweeping back and forth. 

“Is this what you dream of?” he whispers, eyes remaining closed. “Being under me, like this?”

Dreaming. You realize you’re dreaming. You jolt and suddenly, you’re alone. 

-

“Your handwriting is terrible,” Taehyung admits, looming over your shoulder. You grip the quill tighter, nearly snapping it in two. “But you learn unbelievably fast. How many of these letters do you think you have consistently memorized?” 

Taehyung is in charge of your writing lessons today and you already want to kill him. It’s been five days of your new residency in the House of Dreams, as Yoongi calls it, and you’ve quickly learned that Taehyung is equally charming and playful as he is outright vexing. 

Instead of turning to give him a very harsh poke in the arm with your quill, you scan the shapes in front of you. There are twenty-six of them, all awkwardly slanted and misshapen where you’ve used too much ink or not enough. Using a quill and ink feels alien to your hand and your fingers struggle to remember the proper way to hold it as you draw your letters. 

“I think most of them,” you answer slowly, mentally sounding out each word on the page in your head as you go. “But there are a few of them that confuse me. The lowercase ‘d’ and ‘b’ I find nearly impossible to recall and ‘v’ and ‘u’ are rather frustrating.” 

“Whenever you see a ‘u’, think of it as having a scoop. Sc-uuup.” Taehyung points to a ‘u’ on the page and mimics the scooping motion. “Might be easier to associate the sound scoop with ‘u’ even though the word itself doesn’t have a ‘u’.” 

The desperate look you give him makes him laugh as you struggle to imagine why a word with a ‘u’ sound doesn’t actually contain the letters. You’re saved from Taehyung’s maddening - but helpful - instruction as Yoongi walks into the library. 

“You’d better not be laughing at her again.” 

Taehyung steps away from you and bows his head toward Yoongi. “I’m laughing with her. We’re just sharing amusement over the hypocrisy of letters.”  

“Yeah,” you deadpan. “It’s hilarious.”

Today, Yoongi is in a deep, amethyst colored shirt. It’s laced at the throat with the familiar moon and stars that he has stitched on much of his clothing, and his hair down and long, slicked back and tucked behind his ears. As always, he’s in dark pants and boots today, the sound of them clicking on the stone floor as he nudges Taehyung out of the way to peer over your shoulder. 

You tense. Being around Yoongi for the last five days has been intoxicating. It is bad enough that you get distracted during your lessons by the way his voice rumbles when he speaks and the way he chews his lips when working on his own things while you study. It’s worse that now he invades your dreams, whispering in your ear and hands wandering over your curves, sinful mouth brushing over your skin and leaving you to jolt awake in bed covered in sweat.

The very idea that Yoongi knows what you're dreaming of drives you to the edge of insanity. He’d promised he preferred to avoid your dreams, but you wonder if he knows. Knows that you have developed an insatiable habit of fantasizing about his hands, or about the tone of his voice. 

Gripping your quill tight, you hold your breath when he leans over you. He’s not touching you, but he’s close enough that you feel the heat of him and smell him, cinnamon and clove making your eyes flutter. If you didn’t know he was the god of dreams, you’d mistake him for the god of lust, if that was a thing.

“Why aren’t you breathing?” You peer upward to see Yoongi looking down at you. If you tilted your head back just a fraction more, you’d be pressed against his chest. Even from upside down, his moon-pale face and cosmos eyes make you want to scream. “Are you alright?”

“Nervous that I’m not performing well.”

His face softens. “You’re a quick learner. Don’t worry about progress and pace.”

“But what if I lose it when I go h- back.” 

Home. That’s what you were going to say. But the idea of home is terrifying. You don’t know what waits for you when you go back. You don’t know what splitting time between two worlds means. You don’t know what you’ll do when you have to spend two weeks there before coming back to Yoongi. 

Five days in Yoongi’s realm has been enough to make you feel like this has always been your life. You fit into the daily routines of Yoongi and Taehyung better than you imagined, and though you still sometimes get lost in the House of Dreams, you discover that you’re adapting. 

There’s always something new to discover, an adventure around the corner. You like learning your letters and the sounds that they make. You love studying the maps in the library and tracing the distances between countries you can’t name and have no idea where they are. 

Most of all, you love exploring. Rooms upon rooms of objects both normal and magical. Creatures that roam freely around the palace - including a clever little fox that has taken interest in following you around as you take breaks from studying by walking around the grounds. 

While Yoongi’s home doesn’t feel like it belongs to you, you’re more afraid to go back to your mother and father than you are to go near the pond at the edge of the wisteria garden. 

So you avoid thinking of going back.

“You’ll practice while you’re there,” Yoongi says, as though it’s the easiest answer in the world. “You have to practice every day.”

“My father won’t- he doesn’t…” You shake your head, unable to get the words out. That your father would strike you to the ground if he found you with books again. “I can’t bring anything back with me.”

“Sure you can.” You glance at him to find his expression is firm. “I told you, you’re under my protection. Things will be very different for you when you go back.”

“How?”

“It’s… difficult to say.” 

Yoongi offers nothing else. You become hyper aware of how close he’s standing to you again and you look down at your letter practicing. With a shaky hand, you dip the quill into the ink, lifting it from the inkwell and letting the excess drip before bringing it over to the paper. 

When Yoongi makes no move to leave, you inhale deeply to steel your nerves and continue tracing. He’s content to watch you as you work. If he knows how distracted this makes you, he doesn’t let on. Perhaps he has no idea that as you scrawl a shaky letter ‘k’, it’s Yoongi who consumes your thoughts. 

Even in your waking hours it seems you’re not rid of him. 

Most of your study sessions are like this, Yoongi watching you so closely that it makes your quill bleed too much ink. He is a passive teacher, letting you come to him with questions instead of correcting you constantly like Taehyung does. Even now, when you hesitate on the next letter of the alphabet, Yoongi doesn’t offer his help. Lets you figure it out. 

You dip the quill in ink and continue. 

After you finish the last shaky letter, you set the quill down, flexing your fingers open and closed. Yoongi makes a satisfied noise and steps away. You turn to see him walking toward the table by the fireplace, which is where you have started to take all your meals. Already, there are platters of food and drinks. Taehyung sits in a chair, plucking a grape from a plate and popping it in his mouth.

“I didn’t invite you,” Yoongi grumbles as he takes a seat at the head of the table. You push yourself up from your chair, legs aching from sitting so long. “Who said you can eat my grapes?”

“Ugh, I’m tired of eating alone.” 

“Let him stay, Yoongi.” The god looks at you with a glower, bottom lip jutted out slightly. It’s so cute that you can’t help but burst into laughter, hand flying to your mouth. “Sorry, I think you just pouted.” 

“He did.” Taehyung grins and leans back in his chair. “He wants you to himself.”

Yoongi hisses Taehyung’s name, shutting down the teasing immediately. You glance at Yoongi shyly as you sit down but he doesn’t meet your eyes, choosing to laden his plate with food instead. You can’t imagine why Yoongi would want you to himself, especially when all you do is ply him with questions. 

Still, a little bit of a thrill goes through you as you start loading your plate, your gaze drifting toward the deity again as he bites into a strawberry, the juice running down his chin. Your eyes track the movement as his tongue darts out, catching the drip before it escapes too far. 

Yoongi’s mouth is hypnotizing and it takes you a moment too long to realize he’s watching you stare at him. Quickly, you grab a cup and bring water to your lips, gulping the cool water and glancing up at the ceiling, feeling embarrassment bloom like warm liquid through you. 

When you put the cup down, you swear you see Yoongi smiling. 

-

Hungry lips suck at the tender flesh of your neck. You gasp, feeling your toes curl in pleasure, head spinning. Yoongi’s teeth scrape against the sensitive skin, the drag of his rough tongue soothing over the bites driving you mad. You let out a soft moan, eyes squeezing shut as you writhe under him. 

Yoongi’s large hands pin yours above your head, your fingers tangling in the sheets as he continues to ravish your neck with his hot mouth, tongue and teeth. His hips roll over you and you whine, feeling his hard-on pressing against you. 

Your parents would kill you if they knew you were here like this, trapped under a god of the dark as he sucks on your pulse point, mouth moving upward to nip your ear. Your chest is heaving and you can’t get enough breath, overwhelmed by the scent of cinnamon and clove, by the way his mouth pulls sounds from you so easily. 

Yoongi tears his lips away and looks down at you, eyes so dark and blown out that you think he might devour you, swallow you whole in one bite - 

“You’re dreaming of me again,” he whispers. “I don’t know if you mean to be dreaming of me, like this.” 

You startle, realizing this isn’t real, and the illusion fades. 

-

Twilight skies stretch above you. It’s warm outside, but the night air is cool against your skin, making you shiver as you sit down, folding your legs criss-cross. 

“Are you cold?” Yoongi asks, sitting down on the soft grass next to you. You shake your head, eyes fixed on the low table in front of you that's filled with platters of meats, cheeses and crackers. You eye a glass bottle of red liquid that you think is wine, mouth watering. “Are you sure?”

“Promise, the wind feels nice.” 

He looks doubtful as he sits down next to you, a healthy amount of space between you. 

Tonight, Yoongi has insisted on a late night snack outside under the stars. He seems eager, verging on giddy as he glances up at the sky before reaching for the bottle of red liquid and popping the cork. 

After nearly two weeks in the House of Dreams, you’ve learned that this world is forever twilight, lit up by dreams. Here, day and night don’t exist in their truest forms. There are always millions of people and creatures dreaming at every moment of existence, not limiting Yoongi’s world and power to times of day and night. 

The twilight is beautiful. You’ve grown accustomed to the purple tint to the world, the way that it gets just the barest bit darker outside during certain periods, as though even in a world where night and day don’t exist, there are still two separate halves of time. 

Yoongi passes you a glass. You bring it to your nose and sniff, delighted at the scent of cherries and something else. It’s certainly wine, though you wait for him to pour himself a glass to sip any. 

Earrings dangle in Yoongi’s ears tonight. Each lobe has a small, thin chain with a moon charm on the end that’s studded with sapphires, catching the moonlight as he sets down the bottle and sits back. His hair is pulled half-up, half-down again, leaving his full face in view as he looks at you and gives you a gummy grin that scatters your thoughts. 

“Chaos is moving through the sky tonight,” Yoongi informs you, glancing upward. “When she does, she’s beautiful to see. She doesn’t do it that often, but she’s passing us by on her way to do whatever it is she does somewhere. I wanted you to see.” 

He holds out his drink and you grip yours tight, raising your glass to clink with his like you’ve seen people do at the inn in your village. He turns away from you, bringing his wine to his lips to sip. You follow suit, tentatively tilting your glass.

Sweet cherries bloom on your tongue and you hum in delight. It isn’t just cherries you taste, though. There’s a lush sweetness too, edged with spice, filling your mouth with warmth. You look at Yoongi as you sip and see him watching with a closed-lipped smile, eyes searching your face.

“You like it?” 

You nod and set the glass down. “It’s delicious.” 

“You like sweet things.” 

“And you like salty.” He raises a brow in question. “You’re always going for the salted meats at dinner. And you have salted pork right there,” you point to the meat and cheeseboards. “Do gods get dehydrated?”

“We do not. I didn’t realize you were paying so much attention.” You shrug, picking up your wine to take small sips again. “Anything else you’ve noticed?” 

Everything, you want to say and don’t. You’ve noticed so many things about Yoongi, all of them coming to mind at once. But you don’t want to reveal just how much you’ve watched him over the last two weeks, paying far more attention than is proper. 

You could tell Yoongi how you’ve noticed that he wears seven necklaces exactly, each with a different symbol charm on them that you think corresponds to the seven Eternals. You could tell him that he has the habit of closing his eyes and tilting his face upward, like he’s absorbing moonlight. You know all of his favorite breakfast items, specifically crispy bacon and sugared strawberries. 

And there are other things you could tell him, like in your dreams his lips are soft as sin, his voice low and sultry. You could admit that most nights you feel his grip on your waist and that when you study his hands during your lessons, you can’t help but already know the shape of them. 

Perhaps two weeks back in your village is exactly what you need to get the ridiculous fantasy of this eternal being from your head. You don’t think you could bear the shame of him knowing exactly what living in the in-between realm has done for your imagination in a very unexpected way. 

“You like bacon,” you offer as an answer. “And sugared strawberries. In the evening, whiskey is your favorite. It smells a little bit like honey, but still spicy. And you must work in the dream tower often at night, because the door to the tower smells like clove and cinnamon and you always smell that way.”

Yoongi’s brows shoot up. You hide your expression with your glass of wine, taking a long draught. It hums in your veins, warm and rushing like nothing you’ve ever felt before. When you lower the glass, Yoongi watches you with an intense expression. You meet his gaze, suddenly unable to look away. 

The air feels charged as you stare. His eyes dip down to your mouth a single time, then back up to your eyes. The breeze moves strands of his hair and you smell the hint of clove followed by cinnamon, just as you always do when he’s near. Your heart starts to staccato as the silence presses on. 

A little shriek cuts through the tension like a knife. You flinch and turn around, looking at a red blur of movement burst from the wisteria trees. Tiera lands with a squawk, the fey dragon huffing as grey smoke curls from her lungs. She ignores you entirely as she normally does and skips over to where Yoongi is sitting before she settles next to him, curling like a cat and laying on her tail.

Yoongi laughs. “Hello, Tiera.” The dragon chuffs and lets out another puff of smoke. “Are you not going to say hello to our friend?” 

When the dragon pays no attention to you, you roll your eyes. “She hates me.”

“Dragons are capricious. She’s been with me for over a hundred years.”

“Not very mature then, is she?”

He chuckles again as you pluck cheese from the platter and pop it into your mouth. You’re delighted to find it’s soft and garlicky with a hint of rosemary as well. “She is still a child in dragon years.” 

“And you let her be a glutton.” 

“You could be too.” Your chewing slows and you swallow the cheese hard. You wait to see if he’s teasing you, but Yoongi watches you with a placid expression. “Dreams and desires are intertwined, you know. Desires come from dreams. It is in my nature to be indulgent.” 

“I’ve never really been indulgent in my life.”

“Do you want to be?”

“What?”

His mouth twitches. “Indulgent.”

“I think this is indulgent,” you gesture to the food. “And you’re teaching me to read and write. That is more indulgence than I could ever dream of.”

He hums and it sounds like disapproval. “I think your dreams are far more indulgent than that.” 

He knows. You think he’s going to say something, to ask about the way you dream of him. Instead, he says, “When you return, we’ll work on your indulgence. There is no shame in wanting things, you know?” 

“I don’t know. How could I?”

Light flashes above your head. You break eye contact with him to look up and gasp. The sky is full of shooting stars, hundreds of them, maybe thousands. The world lights up as you see rainbows streaking across the sky, bursts of colors and explosions of brilliance shooting through the sky. 

Your mouth hangs open as you watch, mystified into silence. You’re sure this is what Yoongi meant when he said Chaos was passing by, for the sky becomes a cacophony of color and stars and light. You blink your eyes, stunned by the display. It’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, your heart hammering with excitement as you watch it, legs crossed, head tilted up.

The stars begin to slow and there are less bursts of color, until finally, there is just a shimmering wake of stardust and pink simmering in the sky. You look at Yoongi, utterly speechless, to find him looking at you. His eyes reflect the night sky, full of constellations and stardust, glittering in the dark depths of his irises. 

Yoongi’s eyes are as wonderful as the display above, but you don’t say that. 

“That was beautiful,” you breathe. “The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

His eyes don’t leave you when he hums softly in agreement. “It was.” 

Tiera shuffles next to Yoongi, drawing your attention. She snakes her long neck out, tongue tasting the air as she eyes the meat on the table. Yoongi hisses at her and taps her nose in chastisement, earning an angry croak as the dragon shuffles back to her napping position. 

The rest of your evening is spent snacking in companionable silence. Yoongi doesn’t talk much unless he’s answering your hundreds of questions, but tonight, you have none. You’re comfortable to just look at the world around you, the wisteria branches dancing in the breeze. 

In the distance, you hear thunder. Your eyes follow the sound to the same dark peak with lightning crackling through the mist. You’ve yet to ask Yoongi about that peak in particular, but you think you know what looms there. You remember Yoongi talking about how there are nightmares in this realm too, and you’re not eager to ask what that thunderous mountain holds. 

Yoongi doesn’t divulge, either. He watches you as you regard the peak and says nothing. Perhaps even the Eternal of dreams is hesitant to speak of that place, which is a good enough reason for you not to press him further on it. 

When your stomach is full and you’ve had another glass of wine, you lay back in the grass. Your limbs feel heavy with drink and your world is tilted on a slow-rotating axis. The buzz in your veins feels pleasant, though your thoughts are a little sticky like honey and they run together, untamed. 

Careful to keep his distance, Yoongi lays back in the grass with you. His face looks up at the sky, but you look at him. His features are so delicate and soft, nose and cheeks so round. His face don’t make sense in your head, so severe and terrifying yet gentle and innocent at the same time. 

“You’re staring,” he says eventually. 

“I’m indulging,” you tease back, loosened up by wine. “You said I can indulge, so let me stare.”

“What is there to indulge in?” 

“Your… earrings.” 

That makes him look at you, a brow quirked. “My earrings.”

“Yes. Very shiny. Very dangly.”

“Shiny and dangly?”

“Is there an echo out here?” you demand, frowning at him. “Yes, I am indulging in your jewelry!” 

“Would you like some earrings?”

“My ears aren’t pierced.”

“Well then we’ll pierce them.”

“Well,” you grump. “Don’t you have the answer for everything?”

He smiles then, that rare gummy smile that makes you shut right up. “I told you. I’m indulgent. Anything you want, all you need is to ask.” 

Rolling your eyes, you bite your lip to hide your smile at his words. It is insane to you that this ancient being is laying in the grass next to you telling you to only ask what you want. You don’t know what you want, but you do know that this feels like a dream. That you’re not really here, and that you’re going to wake up tomorrow and be in your bed at home. 

Dread fills you at the thought of going back to your parents. In a way, you want to see them. They’re your parents and there is… unfamiliarity without the sound of your mothers needle stitching through cloth. You could do without your father entirely. The rage inside of you when you picture his face is difficult to quell and is often followed by terror. 

Yoongi has told you that you will be safe when you return. You believe him. There is no reason not to. But more than anything, you’re terrified about what comes next. Living between two worlds is something you remember dreaming about that one day in the forest, looking at the way the world was reflected back on the mirror-calm surface of the water. 

Now that you have access to two worlds, you don’t know what to do with the other that has brought you nothing but suffering. And yet, you still want to see what is there. You’re not ready to leave it entirely without knowing. 

“Are you afraid to go back?” 

Yoongi’s question is soft. You don’t hesitate to answer, “Yes.” 

“You won’t be alone. All you have to do is dream of me, and I will come.”

You hesitate then ask, “Do you know any time someone dreams of you?”

“It’s like hearing someone call my name, but I never answer. My business is in creating dreams, not invading them. People like you are able to spin up dreams on your own without my assistance. I help those who cannot.” 

“That sounds like a lovely job.”

He hums. “It’s not without its stresses. I talk a lot about the nature of dreams, but there is more to me and to my job than that. Perhaps we will leave that for your next visit, yes?”

You nod. “Okay.” 

“Come on,” Yoongi sighs, heaving himself upward. “It is late and in the morning, you must return.” 

-

“Touch me,” you beg him, straddling Yoongi’s lap. His head rests against the back of the couch and he looks up at you as you run your fingers through his hair. It’s softer than you imagined, sliding like silk between your fingers. “You told me to ask for what I wanted. Touch me.”

“Anything,” Yoongi agrees. His hands skim up your thighs, warm and rough. He squeezes your flesh, making you moan as his hands continue their worship. Yoongi grips your hips tightly, kneading your flesh as he pulls you closer to him. “Anything. Everything. For you.”

-

When you wake up, you’re confused. The roof above your head is wood and thatch. The mattress beneath you is thin and lumpy, sweat sticking the sheets to your legs. Rolling over, your vision blurs until it comes into focus once more, revealing a tiny room with just a bed, a wardrobe and a closed door. 

Your  room. Well, your room in your parents’ house, you realize with a panic. 

You shoot up in bed as terror claws at you. Did you dream it all? Was it not real? Nothing in your room has changed and the windows are open to the cool air. Grey clouds drift in the sky and you can smell the petrichor of oncoming rain in the distance. 

Rushing to your bedroom door, you rip it open, your heart threatening to burst with how hard it’s beating. You don’t know what you’re looking for or what you expect to find, but the idea that you have just woken up from the most vivid, wonderful dream is so maddening that you need anything to tell you it was real. That it wasn’t in your head.

Your mother is sitting at the kitchen table stitching. She looks up when she hears you. She looks different, leaner and narrower than you ever remember, her greasy hair tied low at her neck. Her hands pause their stitching as she stares at you, stricken. 

“What day is it?” you ask her. The day you had been attacked had been a seventh day. You remember that clearly. “Tell me what day it is!”

Instead, your mother screams in sheer terror. 

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[corrupte3d-mindz]

Little White Lies

Possessive! Thomas Shelby x F! Reader

Summary: Thomas has told you he doesn’t like being tied down; in a relationship.

Wordcount: 5.3k

Warnings: Important poll at the bottom!

angst?, gaslighting, yelling, screaming, crying, hitting, blowing smoke, smoking, Thomas is a hypocritical little bitch.

The room was dim, the only light filtering through the thin curtains, casting a soft, muted glow over the scene. The air was thick with the scent of sweat and sex, mingled with the sharp tang of cigarette smoke. Thomas lay on his back, the bed sheets a tangled mess beneath them. His chest rose and fell steadily, a silent testament to the intimacy they'd just shared.

Her head rested on his chest, the warmth of her cheek pressing against his skin, grounding him in a way he hadn't anticipated. He took another drag from his cigarette, the ember glowing briefly in the dim light before he exhaled, the smoke swirling lazily towards the ceiling. Her fingers traced the outline of his sunray tattoo, a habit she’d developed without realizing it. The sensation was soothing, almost hypnotic, and he found himself focusing on the gentle pressure of her touch. It was supposed to be simple—just sex, nothing more. But as the days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, the lines had blurred. He hadn’t meant for it to happen, hadn’t wanted it to, but there she was, a permanent fixture in his life. Her presence was a comfort, a distraction from the chaos that constantly surrounded him.

He took another drag, the smoke curling from his lips as he breathed out a silent sigh. He was naked, as was she, their bodies still humming with the remnants of their passion. He looked down at her, his gaze lingering on the soft curve of her cheek, the way her lashes fanned out against her skin. She was beautiful, no doubt about it, but it was more than that. She had a way of seeing him, the real him, beneath the hardened exterior he showed the world. “Just sex,” he had told himself. That was all it was supposed to be. But it had become so much more. It had become late-night conversations, stolen moments in the streets, shared meals, subtle touches, and lingering glances. It had become comforting each other after rough days at work, worrying when the other was late, missing them when they were gone. It had become something more, something he hadn't been prepared for, but now couldn't imagine living without.

She shifted slightly, her head tilting up to look at him. “What are you thinking about?” she asked, her voice soft, barely above a whisper. He took another drag from his cigarette, the silence stretching between them. He wasn’t sure how to put it into words, wasn’t sure he even wanted to. “Us,” he finally said, his voice rough, laced with the thick Birmingham accent she had come to love. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Us?” she repeated, as if the concept was foreign to her. He nodded, his thumb caressing her shoulder absentmindedly. “Mhm,” he confirmed. “Us.”

She fell silent, her mind processing his words. She knew what he meant, even if he didn’t say it outright. They were more than just lovers. They were partners, in every sense of the word. She had seen the darkness in him, the ruthlessness, the cold, calculated mind that ran the Peaky Blinders. But she had also seen the softness, the vulnerability he hid from everyone else. And somehow, she had become the one person he trusted enough to let his guard down with. She turned her head, pressing a kiss to his chest, right over his tattoo. The gesture was small, but it spoke volumes. He felt a warmth spread through him, a feeling he wasn’t used to, but one he was starting to crave. He took another drag from his cigarette, savoring the way the smoke burned his lungs, grounding him in the moment.

“What about us?” she asked, her voice trembling slightly.

He looked down at her, his blue eyes piercing in the dim light. “Everything,” he said simply. “I think about everything.”

She nodded, understanding washing over her. They were in this together, whatever this was. And for the first time in a long time, he felt a sense of peace. He crushed the cigarette in the ashtray beside the bed, the smoke curling up one last time before dissipating. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer, his hand resting on the small of her back. They lay there in silence, the weight of his words hanging in the air. He closed his eyes, letting the rhythm of her breathing lull him into a state of calm. She was his anchor, his safe haven, and he would do anything to protect her. He had never been good with words, but in that moment, he didn’t need them. His actions spoke louder, the way he held her, the way he looked at her, the way he let her see the parts of him he kept hidden from the world. She nuzzled closer, her fingers still tracing his tattoo. He smiled faintly, a rare, genuine smile that she had the power to coax out of him.

“I don’t do relationships,” he says, a hint of defensiveness in his voice.

“I know that,” she murmured against his skin. It’s not the first time he had discussed this with her and she doubted it will be the last.

“… but I don’t want you seeing anyone else,” he continues, a slight edge to his deep voice. He sounds almost possessive.

Her brow furrowed as she looked up at him, a question forming in her eyes before she gave voice to it. "Is that an order?" she asked, her tone teasing, yet there was a seriousness underlying her words. Her chin rested lightly on his chest, her eyes searching his, trying to decipher the enigma that was Thomas Shelby. He turned his head to look down at her, reaching for his cigarettes and lighting it once more; a faint smirk playing on his lips. He took a drag from his cigarette, the tip glowing brighter for a moment before dimming again. The smoke curled lazily upward, creating a hazy veil around them. "You could call it that," he responded quietly, his voice carrying a hint of amusement. The sound of his thick Birmingham accent, rich and rough around the edges, added an intimate weight to his words.

As he looked down at her, he couldn’t help but think about how cute she was. Her eyes, wide and inquisitive, peered up at him with a mix of curiosity and something deeper, something more profound. Her fingers continued their gentle exploration of his chest, the touch both soothing and tantalizing. Her body, still naked and warm from their recent intimacy, pressed against his, creating a comforting closeness that he found himself oddly reluctant to break. His mind wandered, thoughts flitting between the present and the future. Thomas was a man known for his detached demeanor, for keeping people at arm's length, especially women. He was not one to settle, not one to commit. Yet, here he was, in the quiet aftermath of passion, feeling an unfamiliar sense of contentment. He didn’t want her to be with anyone else, and though he had never been one for monogamy, the thought of her with another man sparked an unexpected surge of possessiveness within him.

She watched him closely, her eyes not missing the flicker of emotions that crossed his usually stoic features. She knew his reputation, knew that Thomas Shelby was a man who didn't do relationships, who didn't settle for just one woman. But something about the way he was with her, the way he looked at her, made her question that perception. She could see the conflict in his eyes, the war between his nature and whatever it was that he felt for her. He took another drag from his cigarette, exhaling slowly, the smoke swirling above them. His hand, rough and calloused from years of hard living, came to rest on her back, his fingers tracing the curve of her spine. He felt her shiver slightly under his touch, a reaction that sent a jolt of satisfaction through him. "I don't like sharin'," he said finally, his voice low and gravelly. "Never have." Her eyes searched his, looking for the meaning behind his words. "And what does that mean for us?" she asked softly, her fingers pausing their movements on his chest. There was a vulnerability in her voice, a tentative hope that he would give her something more than just a fleeting moment of passion. Thomas considered her question, the weight of it pressing down on him. He was not a man who spoke of feelings easily, not a man who let his guard down.

Her voice, soft yet tinged with sorrow, broke the silence. “Thomas... what are we truly?” she asked, her words hanging in the air between them like a delicate thread, vulnerable to the slightest tension. Thomas’s eyes, icy blue and penetrating, met hers. For a moment, he was silent, his expression shifting as he processed her question. The guarded walls he had meticulously built around himself seemed to tighten, as if preparing for an assault. “What do you mean?” he responded, his tone edged with caution. The question had caught him off guard, and he wasn’t accustomed to feeling unsure.

She sighed, a sound full of unspoken fears and desires. “It’s just, I know you said you don’t want to be tied down in a relationship, but it’s hard for me to be told to stick to one man when that man is not even truly mine...” Thomas’s gaze intensified, his features hardening as he absorbed her words. The implications of what she was saying were clear, and it stirred a complex mix of emotions within him. On one hand, he was fiercely independent, a man who valued his freedom above all else. On the other, he couldn’t ignore the bond they had formed, the undeniable connection that went beyond mere physical attraction. He took a deep breath, feeling the weight of her expectations pressing down on him. “You knew what this was from the start,” he began, his voice low and steady, though not unkind. “I never made any promises, and I never lied to you about who I am or what I want.”

She nodded, but her eyes were still searching his, looking for something more, something deeper. “I know, Thomas. But it doesn’t change how I feel. I need to know if there’s any chance for us to be more than what we are now.” Thomas felt a pang of frustration mingled with a deep-seated fear of vulnerability. He had always been a man of action, not words, and these kinds of conversations were foreign territory for him. “Relationships, commitments... they complicate things,” he said, his voice growing rougher. “In my line of work, they can be dangerous. Her expression softened, but the sadness remained. “I understand that, Thomas. But can’t we find a way to make it work? Can’t we at least try?” He looked away, his jaw tightening as he grappled with his own emotions.

She spoke, her voice cutting through the silence like a knife. "Honestly, I’m just like a free prostitute to you."

Her words struck him with the force of a blow, his jaw clenching so tightly it ached. His eyes narrowed, and his hands instinctively balled into fists. The accusation hung in the air between them, sharp and unforgiving. He turned his head to look at her, his blue eyes darkening with a mix of anger and hurt.

“Don’t say things like that,” he growled, his voice a guttural whisper. It carried the weight of his inner turmoil, a mix of anger and desperation. His expression hardened, the lines on his face deepening as he struggled to maintain control. He wanted to argue, to deny the truth in her words, but he couldn’t. He knew she was right. The realization stung, a bitter pill to swallow. He desperately wanted her to be wrong, to see things from his perspective, but the truth was undeniable. His heart ached with the weight of it.

With a sudden, forceful movement, he pushed her off him. She caught herself on the edge of the bed, grabbing the sheets to cover her naked form; the shock evident in her eyes. He swung his legs over the side and stood up, his body tense and rigid. His fingers pointed at her, trembling with suppressed rage; he stood there in all his glory.

“You’re fuckin’ insane!” he shouted, his voice echoing in the room. “I fuck other women because you always wonder what the fuck we are. But with actual prostitutes, they do their job and fuck right off afterwards; but you always get your fucking panties in a wad.”

His words were harsh, each one a dagger aimed at her heart. He could see the pain in her eyes, but he couldn’t stop himself. The anger coursed through him, uncontrollable and consuming. He paced back and forth, his mind a storm of conflicting emotions.

“I can’t continue this nonsense without you saying you’re mine and that I’m yours,” she replied, her voice trembling but determined. “I’m tired of you being with so many women, and say that I just need to stay strong for you and you only.”

“Damn it,” he muttered under his breath, dragging a hand over his face. He lit a cigarette, the flame briefly illuminating his features before the smoke curled around him, shrouding him in a haze.

Her bare back is to him, the curve of her spine illuminated by the dim light, and he feels a pang of possessiveness mixed with irritation as she starts to gather her clothes. The moment is fragile, teetering on the edge of something unsaid. He doesn’t speak at first, his eyes following her every movement, taking in the way her hands tremble slightly as she buttons her blouse. His mind races with conflicting emotions: the desire to keep her here, the fear of what that might mean, and the anger at her apparent readiness to leave him so soon. The silence between them stretches taut, like a wire ready to snap.

“What are you doing?” His voice is rough, the words coming out more harshly than he intended. “You’re not leaving.” There's an edge of possessiveness, a hint of desperation that he can’t quite mask. His eyes burn into her back, willing her to turn around, to stay. She freezes for a moment, her shoulders tense before she slowly turns to face him. Her eyes are fierce, her jaw set. “I’m definitely leaving; I can’t be tied down to a man who doesn’t want to be tied down himself. That won’t fucking work, Thomas!” Her voice is strong, but he can hear the hurt beneath her anger.

His jaw tightens, the muscles working as he fights to keep his composure. The pain in her eyes cuts him deeper than he cares to admit. He feels a familiar war within himself, torn between the desire to push her away and the desperate need to pull her close. “You can’t go,” he murmurs, his voice almost pleading. “You can’t just leave. We have something.” The words feel inadequate, but they’re all he can manage as he struggles to contain the storm of emotions inside him. She scoffs, the sound harsh and brittle. “Something? What do we have, Thomas? A few nights of fucking? That’s not something. That’s nothing.” He moves suddenly, almost violently, grabbing her arms and pulling her towards him. His grip is firm, bordering on painful, as he holds her close, his eyes searching hers with an intensity that borders on madness. “We have something here, god damnit,” he growls. “I can’t let you go. I can’t lose you.” His breath is hot against her skin, his words a desperate plea masked as a command.

“Thomas- I can’t. I fucking can’t!” She tries to pull away, but his grip only tightens, his fingers digging into her flesh. “You’re just gonna give up and walk out?” he snaps, his voice rising. “You’re gonna leave me just like that?” There’s anger in his eyes now, but also a raw, naked vulnerability that he can’t hide. She snaps back, her voice breaking as she lets out the words she’s been holding back. “Just like you do to me every time we fuck?!”

His brow furrows, and for a moment, he looks almost guilty. His jaw clenches, and he shakes his head, trying to defend himself. “It’s not the same,” he growls defensively. “I told you I can’t give you a relationship. You knew that going in.” She laughs bitterly, the sound sharp and cold. “I’m allowed to have fucking hope, Thomas! I’m allowed to have hope. But I clearly can’t when I’m with you! But don’t worry, your pretty little face. I’ll find somebody. I’ll find somebody that loves me who won’t go to whores when I'm not in the mood; maybe your brothers have some opportunities for me!”

His expression twists into one of outrage. The idea of her being with Arthur, John, or Finn makes his blood boil, even though he’s the one pushing her away. “Bloody hell, you’re not being fair,” he growls, his grip on her arms getting even tighter. “You’re gonna walk away from me and go to someone else? You’re gonna let another man have you?” There’s a sudden explosion of rage in her, and before he can react, she pulls her arms from his grasp and strikes him across the face with the back of her hand. The sound of skin upon skin echoes through the room, the force of the blow making his head snap to the side. “NO! NO! NO! SO YOU DO UNDERSTAND HOW IT FUCKING FEELS EVERY TIME YOU GO OFF AND FUCK SOMEONE ELSE!”

He grabs at his cheek where she struck him, his eyes narrowing as he looks away briefly. He feels trapped, caught in a web of his own making, and there’s no easy way out. His frustration and anger boil over, his emotions getting the best of him. “It’s not the same,” he repeats firmly, his voice gruff. “I’m not your boyfriend. I don’t have to be loyal to you.” She gives him a wicked smile, her eyes glittering with a mix of anger and triumph. “And I’m not your girlfriend, so I don’t have to be loyal to you.” The words hang in the air between them, a stark reminder of the precarious nature of their relationship. He feels a sharp pain in his chest, a mix of anger, hurt, and something he can’t quite name. He knows he’s losing her, and there’s nothing he can do to stop it. The realization hits him like a punch to the gut, leaving him feeling hollow and empty.

For a moment, he’s silent, his eyes locked on hers. He searches for the right words, something to make her stay, but nothing comes. The silence is deafening, the weight of their unspoken emotions pressing down on them. He can see the resolve in her eyes, the determination to walk away, and it terrifies him. He lets out a ragged breath, his grip on her arms loosening. “I don’t want you to go,” he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. The admission feels like a defeat, but he’s too tired to fight anymore. Thomas takes out a cigarette and lights it; letting the smoke simmer on his tongue.

He exhaled a cloud of smoke, the bitterness of his words matching the acrid taste in his mouth. He looked at her, his eyes reflecting the turmoil inside him. He didn’t like how the conversation was going, didn’t like being forced to confront something he had been avoiding for so long. The silence stretched between them, heavy and suffocating. He felt trapped, cornered by his own actions and the raw honesty of her words. He wanted to escape, to run from the confrontation, but he knew he couldn’t. Not this time.

“Every time we’re together, I see the doubt in your eyes,” he said quietly, his voice barely audible. “You make me question myself, question everything. And I hate it.” He took a deep drag of his cigarette, the smoke filling his lungs and momentarily dulling the pain. “I’ve tried to numb it, to drown it out with other women, but it doesn’t work. It never fucking works.” She looked at him, her eyes filled with a mix of sadness and determination. “Then why do you keep doing it, Thomas? Why can’t you just be honest with me?” He laughed bitterly, a harsh sound that grated on his own ears. “Honest? You want honesty?! The truth is, I’m scared. Scared of what it means to be with you, scared of what I might lose.”

He ran a hand through his hair, the frustration evident in every movement. “I’ve lost too much already. And the thought of losing you… it terrifies me.” She reached out, her hand gently touching his arm. “Then stop pushing me away. Stop hiding behind these walls you’ve built.” He looked down at her hand, the warmth of her touch seeping into his skin. He wanted to believe her, wanted to let down his guard, but the fear was too ingrained. “It’s not that simple,” he said, his voice breaking. “I don’t know if I can.”

The idea of letting someone in, of allowing himself to be vulnerable, was something he had always avoided. It was easier to keep people at arm’s length, to maintain control over his life and his heart. But now, lying next to her, he couldn’t deny the pull he felt, the desire to protect her, to be with her. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he admitted finally, his voice barely above a whisper. “And I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep.” She reached out, her fingers gently touching his cheek, drawing his gaze back to hers. “I’m not asking for promises, Thomas. I’m just asking for a chance. A chance to see if we can be more, if we can be something real.” Her touch, so soft and tender, made his heart ache. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to steady himself. When he opened them again, his gaze was more vulnerable, more open than she had ever seen it before.

His chest rose and fell with the rhythmic cadence of his breath, each inhale and exhale a whisper of the storm that had finally settled within him. His usually steely blue eyes were softened, glistening with unshed tears that caught the light in tiny, shimmering pools. It was a sight so rare, so intimate, that it seemed almost otherworldly. The hard edges of his face, chiseled by years of hardship and violence, were softened in this moment of vulnerability, revealing the boy he once was, hidden beneath the veneer of the man he had become. Her presence in front of him was a soothing balm, her warmth a cocoon that held him in a fragile embrace. She stand before him; her other hand tenderly caressing his cheek. Her fingers traced the line of his jaw, a delicate touch that spoke of a depth of feeling words could never fully capture. She had seen him in many states—cold, calculating, fierce—but this was different. This was Thomas Shelby stripped bare, his defenses down, his soul laid bare for her to see.

The silence between them was heavy with unspoken words, a tangible thing that pressed down on them both. It was she who finally broke it, her voice a soft murmur in the quiet of the room. "Thomas," she began, her words tentative, as if she feared they might shatter the fragile peace they had found. "I see you. The real you. Not just the leader of your gang, not just the man everyone fears. But you, Thomas; Thomas Shelby. Her words were like a salve to his weary soul, each one soothing the wounds that had been inflicted by years of betrayal, loss, and heartache. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to be enveloped by the sound of her voice, the sincerity in her tone a lifeline he clung to desperately. The tears that had threatened to fall finally broke free, trailing down his cheeks in silent testimony to the emotions he could no longer contain.

She continued, her voice steady, unwavering. "I like the way you laugh, even though it's rare. I like the way you look at me, as if I'm the only thing that matters. I like the way you fight for those you love, even if it means sacrificing yourself. But there are things I don't like, Thomas. I don't like the way you shut me out, the way you push everyone away when you're hurting. I don't like the way you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, as if you have to bear it all alone.” Her words pierced through the armor he had built around himself, each one a dagger that cut deep, but in a way that was necessary, a way that would heal rather than harm. He reached up, his hand finding hers, his fingers wrapping around her wrist in a grip that was both firm and gentle. He held her there, as if afraid she might slip away, as if the very act of touching her could tether him to the present, to this moment of raw, unfiltered emotion.

"Please don't leave me," he whispered, his voice thick with the weight of his tears, his accent a rough, familiar drawl that carried the pain of a thousand battles fought and lost. The words were simple, but they held a world of meaning, a plea that came from the deepest part of him, the part that feared losing the one person who had seen through his façade, who had touched the core of who he was. She didn't flinch, didn't pull away. Instead, she leaned in closer, her forehead resting against his, her breath mingling with his in the space between them. "I'm not going anywhere, Thomas," she replied softly, her words a vow, a promise that she intended to keep. "I'm here. And I'm not leaving."

Without a word, Thomas shifted, his strong hands finding her waist with an ease born of familiarity. He lifted her effortlessly, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth as he felt her fingers trace the planes of his chest. Bringing her to the bed, the mattress beneath them seemed to sigh in response as he laid her back gently, the plush fabric molding to her form. He could see the reflection of their passion in her eyes, a mix of contentment, love, and a flicker of hope that made his heart clench. Those eyes, deep and expressive, had a way of cutting through the hardened exterior he presented to the world, leaving him feeling vulnerable yet fiercely protective. As he leaned over her, his gaze locked onto hers, a silent understanding passing between them. He lowered himself slowly, savoring the anticipation that crackled in the air. When their lips finally met, it was a collision of raw need and unspoken promises. The kiss was intense, his mouth moving against hers with a hunger that bordered on desperation. He could feel her responding in kind, her hands sliding up to cradle his face, pulling him closer as if to merge their very beings. There was a possessiveness in his kiss, a declaration that she was his, and his alone.

Their tongues danced together, a fervent, unrestrained exchange that left no room for doubt about his desire for her. He tasted the sweetness of her, mingled with the remnants of their shared breath, a heady mix that made his pulse quicken. The kiss deepened, became almost frenzied, as if they were both trying to imprint the moment onto their souls. Their breaths mingled, harsh and ragged, creating a symphony of desire that filled the room. When he finally pulled back, it was only because the need for air became undeniable. He lingered close, their foreheads touching, the warmth of their breaths mingling in the scant space between them. A thin string of saliva still connected their lips, a tangible reminder of their connection. His eyes, dark and intense, bore into hers, conveying a depth of emotion that words could scarcely capture. “I fuckin’ love you,” he murmured, his voice low and gravelly, each word imbued with a sincerity that left no room for doubt.

He watched as her expression softened further, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears of happiness. She reached up, her fingers brushing the damp hair from his forehead, a tender gesture that made his heart swell. He captured her hand, pressing a kiss to her palm, lingering there for a moment as if drawing strength from her touch. He knew he needed her, not just in the physical sense, but in a way that went beyond mere words. She was his anchor, his solace amidst the chaos of his life. He lay back down beside her, pulling her into his embrace, her head resting on his chest. He could feel the steady beat of her heart, a comforting rhythm that grounded him. His fingers traced idle patterns on her back, a silent reaffirmation of his devotion. The world outside their room seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of them cocooned in their shared warmth. He reveled in the quiet intimacy, the sense of peace that only she could bring him.

Author’s Notes:

I actually got this ideas from a c.ai character and that character is Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley from COD Modern Warfare..y’all I’m so tempted to do a whole other blog for the task force 141, Graves, Makarov, and König; like they have such a big grasp on my right now…ahhhh!

Mind you some won’t make sense entirely because I’ve only just started to get into them. Anyways the character is Ghost - More. Hopefully the link has worked out for you!

At some point, it doesn’t make sense like when he’s crying sure, he might be butt ass naked and she might be fully dressed. I don’t care. I would have written smut but…nah I really should have; I’ll probably go in and redo it!

Also we hit 100 followers! So vote it the poll below for a small reward!

[a-driftamongopenstars]

Unforgettable; Guardian x Crow ficlet

Yes, another bonfire fic :D I just can't stop writing this scene

also on ao3

The sun has begun to creep through the needles of evergreen pines, softly turning the half-hidden sky to pastels of yellow. 

In a small forest clearing, the Guardian is sleeping in a tent. Osiris left for a walk, claiming that fresh air at this hour is most useful to refresh one's mind. Crow is not sure whether Osiris left just now or much earlier, when the night was sweet and thickly dark. 

The bonfire is nothing but ashes and bits of wood now, slightly smoking with its final embers. Crow pokes it with a long stick, sending a cloud of ashen dust into the air. 

Was the whole of last night a dream? 

He stares into his thoughts, eyes vacant. Still feeling drunk, still woozy, alcohol mixed with sleep deprivation, for he has naught a bit of sleep in his eyes. 

He remembers dancing. Laughing and sword fighting with empty bottles, accidentally smashing one against the tree trunk and laughing about it until his voice turned hoarse. 

He has never laughed so much in this life. 

He remembers the Guardian's thoughtful stare, even through their joyful merriment. Gnawing like a hook in his chest, tugging with occasional questions he is not sure he wants any answers for. 

Somewhere deep in the night, he also remembers… kissing. The hot, hungry kind, the one that goes through your body and makes you feel in all kinds of beautiful ways. 

Crow smiles, eyes closing to remember better. 

He is not sure who started it. Could be they stumbled into each other after the bottle-sword fight. Could be the Guardian, driven by wine, initiated it. It could even be a dare, just for Crow to find out what kissing was like. 

Could be Crow, doing what he wanted to do ever since he and the Guardian became friends. 

Still, his memory fills his mind with sweet drunken recollections. The Guardian's mouth was good and felt good. They liked it when he pressed his tongue in it, so he did it more. It was awkward and a bit funny at first, but it was good, too. He seemed to remember the motions, yet was finding them all new and exhilarating. He suddenly wanted so many things, he wanted to be more than what he was, and that possibility dangled in front of him, for once more than a dream and a hollow promise. It seemed real. 

There was more to the kiss, too. Crow felt wanted, and it wrapped his loneliness in a cocoon of healing. Crow found out that having the Guardian's hands all over his body somehow made him more real, more grounded. He remembers wanting to claw his clothes off, just to feel the touch against his skin. 

He is glad the Guardian stopped him. 

Did they whisper they'll do it another time? 

Crow awakes from his daydreaming when he nearly falls off the log he is sitting on. 

Sitting beside him is the Guardian, who must have crawled out of the tent. Barely awake, cradling their head in a bout of hangover. When their eyes land on Crow, he has a momentary fear that they don't remember. Or worse, that they do, and it was all a terrible drunken mistake. He has apologies ready on his tongue and a corner in his mind where he can shove those memories, never to be addressed again. 

The Guardian rises and pushes Crow to make space on the log. They smile a little and grab a bottle of water to cleanse their mind. 

Crow feels the quiet tension release as the sun climbs higher, warmer, awaking flocks of birds in the trees. A perfect sunrise. 

He looks at the Guardian, fingers fiddling with the bottle. And when the Guardian looks up, their lips break into a smile. 

I didn't forget, they say. 

And Crow smiles back, hopeful to find out what exactly it means for both of them. 

[delicrieux]

—𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭, ch.3: sweet dreams, chicago

pairing—carmy berzatto x f!reader   genre—drama, romance, age gap, boss/employee relationship warnings for this chapter—anxiety, (+18) masturbation, mb one (1) allusion to a blowjob, swearing, excessive use of cigarettes  word count—3.6k

detailed instructions on how to fuck up your life in 30 seconds

author’s note: tremendously down bad, lonely, and socially inept? not talking abt u LOSER im talking abt carmen. my lil meow meow 

masterlist | buy me coffee☕ | eyvcte masterlist | < back. next >

important! some of the dialogue scenes are written as a script & dialogues that overlap are marked in [] <3  

tell them

not white, gray – the exact color of cigarette ash, the red ember a reflected streak of sunlight; these walls box him in, and it’s always a surprise that space can feel so vast and so confining all at once. the plastic chair he sits on is unforgiving on his back. his foot sounds a pattern on the tiled floor to impair the silence.

he’s aware of it, of everything: his pursed lips, trembling lashes, quick blinks, slight sniffle, flitting irises, the light coat of sweat forming by his hairline. the taunt flex of his muscles; twitch of fingers that have nothing to grasp onto but each other. the tapping. pulsing in his jaw and temple. the tapping.

tell them

he tries to stare ahead, keep straight – it’s not expected of him, but he wishes he could do it. wishes he could face the silhouette sat across, too close and too far.

“well?” she prompts – a prim woman with a kind face sunken from all the miseries she had collected over the years, “how are you, carmen?”

a sharp exhale through the nose, like a humorless snort; corner of his lips pinching into a grimace that could resemble a smile, if one was generous enough, “how am i?” he repeats, “how am i?”

tell them

tell them

tell them your

“chef?”

storage closet. he keeps his hand firmly on the handle and breathes, jaw tense, head bent, illuminated in the shitty buzzing lights. the containers are organized – did it himself. methodically set cans with no spaces between them, all in neat rows. one’s a bit too close to the edge, sticking out. someone had moved it. he rubs his chin before pushing it back.

his hand falls from the handle and settles on his hip as he sighs, looks up, feels a rush of air tinted with spices and the overwhelming noise of the kitchen pierce the coveted silence of his hiding place when the door cracks open. she pokes her head in and he doesn’t look, can’t look, can’t sleep, can’t–

“you good?”

kindness is always startling, even when it’s the standard. her words hold no weight of deep inquiry, only a shallow question mark. it’s enough. he lives on scraps. “yeah, uh, thanks,” his tips his chin in her direction and his eyes flit over the crown of her head. can’t look for long;  he’ll search for thank you and love you despite knowing they’re covered.

“i was just, uh, was just, needed to check,” he vaguely motions behind himself, and the knot in his throat tightens slightly, “something, s-so…” maybe she decides to take him out of his misery. maybe he’s the only one that notices he’s drowning.

“family’s up.” she informs him, offers a small smile that he thinks is pity. can’t be sure.

“yeah, yeah, o-okay, i’ll, uh, i’ll, i’ll join you in a,” the hasty spill of his words slows, quiets. he inhales, brows crinkled and eyes focused on the new streaks on the floor he’ll have to clean, “i’ll join you in a minute.”

“i’ll save you a seat.” not a proposition mentioned aimlessly and left to rot in his subconscious, but a statement. and she’ll always save a seat for him, because he’ll always be late, and in the rare occasions that he won’t, he’ll be too early. she’ll save him a seat by the table and pat the couch next to herself when the staff’ll huddle to watch a Bulls game; she’ll save a slot for him on her free day to come into his office and help sort through papers; she’ll save her hand from others so that he could hold it and she’ll save a pair lace panties the color of her eyes that’ll tear through the flower pattern because he’ll be too rough and because he’ll like the way they look on her.

she’ll save a cup that’ll shatter during one of their arguments, glue it back together. the cracks will show, and it’ll be blotched, but he’ll still use it, even if the edge’ll be chipped and he’ll cut his lip and she’ll be long gone by then.

he’s mostly himself when he joins everyone, if he even knows what that entails. tina’s explaining form to marcus, and sydney’s on her phone, and richie and neil are discussing something with too many theatrics, and the rest of the staff shares idle conversation punctuated by comfortable silence. there’s an empty spot for him, food set in a plastic container and cutlery placed trimly – must’ve been her. too even, she’s borderline about these things. he appreciates them, because he’s like that, too.

a smile eases the tension from his shoulders, if a bit. he pulls the chair back, takes a seat, and her head ticks to the side to acknowledge him. no big speech, no welcome back or you good again, just a slight curiosity that makes her teeth pull on her lip. he dares a glance that doesn’t linger.

"verdict?” he asks the table, feeling the familiar flutter of anxiety squeeze his throat.

sydney: ‘s good. real good richie: too fucking fancy [god] this the type of shit they serve up in yee-whole-fucking-new-of-the-fucking-york? her: wouldn’t expect you to recognize shit from food [fuck you] since your mouth is always full of it richie: oh ha ha [cousin] look at us folks [cousin] we got a fucking comedian with us tina: shut it [so/rry] both of you. not by the table richie: not by the fucking table, kid [fuck you] marcus: i like it

it’s kinda funny, it’s kinda familiar, it’s kinda comforting. he glances at her again, sees her holding up her knife like a sword aimed at richie on the other side of the table. they mimic one another – in movement, in tone, in smiles that are careful not to display too much. friends. carmen watched this happen in his peripherals, sometimes through the haze of cigarette smoke. observed the pointed jabs and nudges that were harder each time as if they were competing who could knock the other off of their feet first. stupid, amusing, the nascence of a friendship.

whatever. it’s not that, it’s just, just that carmen’s the way he is and someone could roll their eyes at him and kill and sydney, well, he got along with sydney instantly – she came at a confusing fucking time, a breath of fresh air, and really, for a while, he only had her to help him navigate the clusterfuck of a dynamic of his brother’s staff. she was new, he was new, and it was natural they stuck together to survive the nuclear winter of a chicagoan kitchen. till he was approved as one of them, and she was, too, but, and it’s nothing, it’s dumb, fucking idiotic, it’s like he’s six again all of a sudden and no one wants to play ball with him in the fucking playground.

he’s not even left out, and he still feels like he’s somehow forbidden to join, even if he doesn’t want to, even if he doesn’t know what to say. as if he’d break some sacred law and inspire a drastic butterfly affect that would ripple into something abhorrent. the other shoe. there’s no first one and he’s already waiting for the drop.

“cousin,” richie calls, “cousin, she’s trying to fucking murk me. pretty sure that violates some sorta fine print.”

“better sleep with one eye open in that case.” carmy mumbles, a faint smile pulling on the corner of his lips as he watches the exchange briefly before he returns to the food. melts in his mouth. holds a sweet, syrupy tang, and, fuck, this is noma, this has fucking noma written all over it, even the cinnamon zest blended with orange peel.

no noma on her resume; dad must’ve taught her, then. how to blend and cook all of this shit to make the chicken taste like butter. probably needed to scour the whole kitchen for leftover ingredients, open a few rusted drawers for pipettes to measure lemon drops. stay up again prepping. filming. not sleeping. don’t look.

needlessly complicated and missing some parsley. coincidentally, they ran out of it this morning.

he looks at her because she’s not looking at him and for a moment he takes in her profile – the slope of her nose and the dip leading to her cupid’s bow. “‘s good.” he says after a short pause, and as soon as she turns in his direction he’s back to his food. the taste, this time, is compounded by added discomfort, “where’d you learn this from, anyway? there are recipe?”

“my dad. sorta,” she explains, “he’s also a chef. and he used to make it for me when i came to visit, soooooo, since it was my first time cooking family ‘n all…i thought, why not? y’know? just to upset richie.”

“heard that, kid.”

he snorts, leaning back into his chair, head dipped and container held in hand. glances at her from under his lashes, and maybe direct eye contact is not as scary when he wants her to be looking back. that small smile of his is pulls on his lips again, “‘s good.” he repeats.

“you like it?” her voice can be soft, and so can her features.

“i like it,” he admits, “thank you, chef.”

she smiles and it’s like a fucking firework.

he tries not to look too hard, scared what he might find there. metronome. dull, almost, like the beating of his heart in his chest, yet it pulses through him, from the back of his head all the way to his feet. the tapping.

tell them

he rubs his faces with his hands, leans forward, as if the words are physically trying to get out. doesn’t want to say it; doesn’t want to admit that he can’t dress for the weather and that he’s wearing a gray woolen sweater which blends into these walls, that he blends in, that he’s invisible.

“i’ve, uh,” pinches the bridge of his nose, wanes the upcoming headache – too many cigarettes and not enough sleep, “i’ve been going through somethin’.”

like her pictures on a late monday night fresh out of the shower. the phone light catches damp hair falling in ringlets. the towel is still slung around his shoulders – white, clean, he’s done his laundry, it’s a fucking miracle. it was a notification that distracted him mid-way putting on a t-shirt, was like a beacon in the dark on his bedside table. bare feet padded to grasp it and here he stands, gaping like a fucking idiot with nothing but boxers on and cold water dripping down his back.

wasn’t supposed to look. made a promise, swore it in the mirror staring into clear blue eyes that held nothing. wasn’t his intention, either, it just happened. everything seems to just happen to him. she just seem to text him at 1 in the morning the recipe from a few days back, and he just seems to find her profile again because he just wants to look. no further reason. she just seems to follow him and he just seems to pretend not to notice because he’s not very good at this, he’s not really good at anything.

and there she is, confined in a little electronic device held in his hand, looking at the camera, looking at him, and he’s not really sure what to do with himself. text back, likely, but he can’t think of a response – thank you? thanks? thumbs up emoji? chef emoji? just to mix it up a bit. the mattress dips when he sits on the bed. where the fuck are his cigarettes?

never too far, and the lighter isn’t, either, so he stands, and his phone is still in his hand like the thing is fucking glued to it, and he cracks the window open to let the summer night in. chicago doesn’t sleep, and neither does she, it seems, but he doesn’t, either, and when his teeth have something to bite onto he feels like he found an anchor.

thank you and love you are objectively interesting detonators, but there are other rare gems. where she’s smiling. look taken off-guard and never by her personally, always by someone else: hugging a bottle in the midnight new york vista, nursing a to-go cappuccino by the bodega too early in the morning, holding up a plastic puka shell necklace in the backdrop of a souvenir shop somewhere in yucatan. hugging her mother wearing a tracksuit while the former’s poised in a neat blazer. they look similar. carmen looks like his mother, too.

she’s more approachable when her eyes crinkle and cheeks apple and lips stretch to reveal a crescent line in the corner. pretty. real pretty. too pretty. maybe that’s why he doesn’t know what to say. maybe she doesn’t expect him to say anything. maybe that’s why she sent the message.

‘s not fair. he knows too much about her. knows her dad’s a renowned chef and her mother’s a business exec with a penthouse in brooklyn; knows she gets her tattoos in-house, on the couch, from some low-key junkie-looking artist that always wears a beanie;  knows she worked in an upscale restaurant in wallstreet. chef whites, neat, trimmed, fitting – nothing he can offer in his fucked joint. fuck is she doing in chicago, anyway? spent last summer backpacking across europe with a distinctly new york-looking art school dropouts that wore the latest sneakers and tiffany necklaces. rich kids, rich kid, what she gets now was likely her daily allowance.

all of that just because he’s noisy. just because he’s curious. just because she’s pretty and he’s too scared to actually talk to her.

shouldn’t talk to her about anything anyway. too awkward – can hardly form a coherent sentence without ripping his hair out in the first place. he’s her boss, she’d think he’s a fucking weirdo if she knew how much he had gathered about her already. just from looking. does sydney know? does richie know? that would be fucked. oddly insulting, even. but since carmen hasn’t heard richie calling her a spoiled brat yet, he supposes it’s safe to assume this information hasn’t reached him yet.

parasocial as shit. he feels on the verge of a panic attack by the way his heart is hammering in his chest. maybe it’s the 5th cigarette. maybe it’s because he’s been sleep deprived. maybe it’s because looking at her makes him lonely and this is fucked and just put the fucking phone down, carmen.

she's really hot, though. but he can’t say so, not out loud. not right now. not here. not in front of the bed, where the mattress sags when he sits, or in the window, where the wind rattles the glass ringing of common sense.

‘thanks for the recipe’ is a good start, ‘cool tats by the way’ is definitely a line that has crossed his mind, but can’t text that, either. too personal. too easy. too close. fuck did he look at them anyway, too busy staring at her tits. fuck.

she’d think he’s a creep because somehow, in the divine comedy of his life, he’d let it slip somehow, because he’s stupid. because thank you and love you slap at him on odd hours during the day. because he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

feels like he’s a teen again and a girl from school sent him her homework to copy. only the girl in a hot rich kid from nyc that works in his restaurant and is so far out of his league that she’s in a different fucking orbit.

the mattress dips again. he closes his eyes, exhales slowly, rubs his face with his free hand. can’t stop thinking. can’t stop looking. staring. wanting. get a fucking hold of yourself. doesn’t want to. too tired. too fucked. too alone.

she’s so pretty.

so smart.

so fucking pretty.

what is he doing? what the fuck is he doing?

he tries to swallow, but it feels like there's sand in his throat. can't think straight, every corner leads to her anyway in a comical gotcha moment. can't go back. can't go forward. can't do anything but sit here, stare at the phone, think the last threads of his fizzling mind will conceive a reply.

say something. say something.

she's so fucking pretty and his dick is so fucking hard.

inhales again, this time slowly. feels the first tremors of an erection ignored, the pulse in his neck, in his wrists.

his heart is pounding and he wants her to look at him, wants to look at her, wants to feel her touch him, wants to show her how much he wants her.

"fucking christ," he can hear the breathless crack in his voice. feel it, taste it.

his face burns and his hair falls over his forehead, already drying. there's sweat on his brow and a lump in his throat from the steady rise of panic, anticipation, desperation, whateverthefuck. the blood in his veins pounds through his chest – he can feel the vibration in his bones, and god, god god god, he’s so fucking horny.

can't move. can't breathe. can't think. can't stand being alone. can't stand the silence. can't stand not doing anything and can’t stand being like this because he’s not supposed to. not allowed, breach of contract, jesus, who does this shit in their spare time? a lot of people, probably, but carmen wouldn’t know.

"fuck."

he wants to close his eyes because she’s so cold on the screen but so warm in his mind. can’t do that. can't stop palming dick over his boxers, either – wants to pull them down, but that would mean looking at himself, so he stares at her picture instead.

he feels like a teenager again, vaguely wants to throw up. can't believe how hard he is. he's not supposed to be like this. this isn't going to end well.

he knows he's gonna fuck this up because he's already fucking it up. can't stop staring at her. can't stop touching himself. can't stop thinking about what she'd do if she knew he was sitting here ready to jerk off to her.

she'd probably freak the fuck out, and she'd have every right to. that doesn't stop that wandering hand of his from dipping below the elastic band anyway.

his breath scratches at his throat, stuck there as he feels his hand brush something warm. glances down, sees his middle finger pressing against the swollen tip. looks back at the phone, sees her smile, the hint of her teeth; his cock twitches at the sight of her like some deranged pavlovian response. his fingers curl around his shaft and go down in a nice, long stroke.

"fuck me," he hisses. eyes squeeze shut and hips push forward and head rolls back to release a small groan.

it's a slow slide of a rough palm, with just enough pressure to cause shivers. he thinks of her lips wrapped around his him. the way her tongue would tease him. the way her hair would tickle his thighs.

"so pretty," he breathes, but the words are lost in the rhythm of his hand, "fuck, sorry."

fingers and palm slide over the sensitive head, each pass adding more pressure until his hips buck and it feels like someone punched him in the gut and he sucks in a breath, the sound coming out more like a moan; squeeze, tighter this time, and he groans louder, caught somewhere between pain and pleasure. teeth clamp down on his lower lip and all the oxygen in his lungs leaves with that.

the hand with the hand pierced by a kitchen knife pumps faster, coating the creases and veins in warm, sticky pre-cum leaking from the tip and leaving a stain on his boxers. he's breathing heavily, chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm that matches the throbbing of his cock.

he's so close already. so close he feels like he might actually lose his mind if he doesn't come soon.

"hm, fuck," he breathes out, eyes squeezing shut and fist tightening around the shaft as his hips jerk forward to meet the movement.

everything is swimming and spinning in the liquid dark around him, all the sensations coiled up into one chaotic bundle that's threatening to overwhelm him.

"yes," can't be his voice, can it? too raw, too desperate, too loud.

fist tightens even more and the throbbing is too much. feels like something is trying to get out of his body, like it's going to burst through his skin.

"oh fuck. oh fuck, oh fuck—"

everything is happening at once. everything is mounting to a small cry of her name.

he comes. coughs and huffs, head tipping back and hand still pumping. there's a low groan coming from his chest that sounds like it originated from some other person entirely.

then, it stills. his back hits the bed and he tries to gulp down air that stutters down his throat, the phone bouncing on the mattress beside him. the motions ripple in his spine, in tensed muscles that’ve gone lax. calm. outside the window, a siren howls first, then a dog.

he’s spent. feels good. cold air bites skin coated in sweat, like ice melting in the bed of a warm palm. “fuck.”

but the reality of the situation rips through the haze just as quick, and ignited by a sudden fucking unbearable anger, he grabs his phone and throws it across the room, “FUCK.”

ch.4: normal people

tags <3 @rexorangecouny - @astridyoo15 - @elliesbabygirl - @fortisfilia - @diorrfairy - @frequentnosebleeder - @eddiemunsonreader 

more notes: sum fun lil gemmie gems for my narrative lovin girlies in chat  1. timeline is worky asf, things flowing in an out perception - imagine it like moving frames of the show 2. carmy says “’s good” whilst he admires her silently - is he referring to her or the food? 3. who text their boss at 1am? rich kid explain 4. the swearing increases the more he’s distressed 5. major virgin alert, can u tell? 6. this is the only chapter so far where ive used caps lock

[megaerakles]

To Whom It May Concern

Tim couldn’t stay. 

No matter what Bruce had said when he caught Tim in the act of laying the paper trail to establish his Fake Uncle, no matter how long Dick had sobbed into the phone at him during an inordinately expensive long distance (read: off planet) phone call, no matter how much Alfred had been fussing over him and insisting it was no trouble at all to care for him since Tim’s scheme had been revealed and promptly foiled, it just didn’t change the fact that Tim couldn’t stay. Truthfully, the Wayne family’s apparent sudden burst of affection for him actually made this whole thing worse because somewhere along the way, without even trying, Tim had failed to keep things wholly professional between them and somehow tricked them into thinking he belonged in their family! 

He couldn’t let it stand. For the sake of Jason’s memory, for the sake of preserving the sanctity of the true Wayne family, he had to stop this… this absurdity of pretending that Tim belonged with them from continuing! Tim had to run. Tim had to vanish. It was the only way to make things right again. Sure, the thought of never seeing any of them again, the thought of being done with Bruce and Alfred and Dick and Barbara and everyone in his life he currently held dear once and for all made it feel as though his heart was being ripped out of his chest only to be shoved back down his throat to stop the flow of air into his body—but it didn’t matter. He didn’t matter, not nearly as much as they did. This would be for their own good. 

Tim was leaving, and it turned out to be easier than he thought it would be in the end. Not emotionally easier, but logistically easier. Bruce had been extra attentive lately, so he thought he’d have to fake an injury and get ‘benched’ so that they would lower their guard long enough for him to slip away. But by some divine stroke of luck, a new player had waltzed onto Gotham’s criminal scene not too long after Tim’s Fake Uncle plan fell through and started making threats against Batman and Robin. They had apparently freaked B out enough to prompt him to send Tim off to Titan’s Tower to ‘focus on his team for awhile’. Tim had accepted the command with the requisite amount of complaint, planted some fake texts to make it look like he’d actually communicated to his Team that he would be there, shoved everything from his guest room in the Manor that he couldn’t bear to part with into a duffel bag underneath a spare uniform, gave Bruce what only he knew was a more emotionally charged nod goodbye than usual, and then poof. Tim Drake was zapped out of the Batcave for the last time ever. 

He let himself have one night in the Tower. Partly to catch a few hours of sleep in a familiar and secure environment, but mostly so he could clean up his room for its next occupant, sweep his belongings and his person for any extra trackers, and repack his bag more efficiently. He also took the time to grab a spare backpack and fill it up with emergency rations. While he was taking plenty of cash, he didn’t want to risk having to go into stores with security cameras for a while, at least until he’d cleared a suitable distance from San Francisco proper as well as implemented the first of his many planned disguises. He didn’t think a bottle of cheap hair dye and some colored contacts would be enough to fool Oracle indefinitely, but if he was appropriately cautious it might keep her from getting a confirmation of his location long enough for the Bats to either get bored looking for him or to actually realize they were better off without him around. 

When the early rays of dawn started to bathe the sides of Titan’s Tower in ember colored light, he was off. He left behind seven trackers pulled from his clothes and bag and one more from behind his ear; he’d kept the one he noticed in his favorite pair of sneakers because it was a type that wouldn’t start transmitting data until the Bats actively started tracking it and he was hoping to find someone who wore his size at the bus station he could pay to wear them so he could throw them off for even longer. If all else failed, he would just toss them in an out of the way trash can. He had also left a letter of resignation for Batman that he’d whipped up based off of an online template, signed and sealed and awaiting discovery atop the pillow in his nearly empty dorm room (he had tried for something more personal, a longer note of explanation for Bruce about why he couldn’t stay despite being asked, but—the words just wouldn’t come, and he’d been running out of time). His bag was heavy, courtesy of all of the extra supplies he’d grabbed in anticipation of having to evade not only Batman’s team but the rest of the Justice League. His heart was heavy, courtesy of emotional baggage that he wished was as easy to unpack as his actual bags would be when he finally found somewhere to settle. 

He boarded the first bus he saw after he’d gone a few blocks and took a seat towards the back, where he leaned against the window and stared back at the iconic giant T that he used to belong in, however briefly, until it disappeared from sight. And just like that, Tim Drake’s life as Robin was over. 

—

To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is to formally notify you that I’m resigning as Robin in Gotham City, effective immediately. 

Thank you so much for the opportunity to work with you all for the past three years. I’ve enjoyed getting to know the team and appreciated the opportunity to learn about vigilantism and hone my detective skills. I’m excited to take these skills with me as I pursue the next step of my career.

During the past two weeks, I have done everything possible to wrap up any ongoing cases and leave no unfinished business. The Robin suit as well as my spare have been cleaned and placed in the armory of Titan’s Tower along with any gear I have been issued. 

I wish Batman and team the best, but am afraid I will be out of contact for the foreseeable future. 

Sincerely, 

T. J. Drake

—

Red Hood stalked into Titan’s Tower with all the grace of a wildcat closing in on its prey, his vicious smirk hidden by his helmet, his unauthorized entrance hidden by virtue of the heroes’ own stupidity in failing to remove his codes from the database. Seriously—he’d thought gaining entry into their so-called fortress would be the hardest part of this little trip, and had only tried his access codes for the sake of checking the most stupidly obvious Plan A off his list! For them to work, to realize that there was nothing truly separating the precious sidekicks from the wrath of a vengeance minded crime lord, well… it sure made the message he was about to send feel all the more poignant. 

He had come equipped to subdue an entire horde of Teeny Titans without hurting them (much), but to his surprise, the tower was empty of kid sidekicks despite Robin having been sent to work with his team yesterday afternoon, a fact Jason had gleaned last night from listening to the mind numbing chatter of Nightwing being bored on a stakeout and wanting to chat with anyone over the comms Jason had hacked into. Which he’d done in order to better plan his aggressive takeover of Crime Alley, not because he missed hearing his family’s voices. Nope. 

(Since coming back to Gotham, it had been more difficult than he anticipated to stick to the plan when some part of his mind still stubbornly clung to those foolish, childhood dreams of belonging and family and a father who gave a shit and things like that, and kept popping up with annoying questions like ‘what if he revealed his identity to Dick or Alfred or someone just to see if maybe Talia had been right and they’d want him back after all. Clearly, the existence of a new Robin meant that they’d never really given a damn about him, so he was going to go through with this thing, just watch him.)

Truly this had to be fate, because the path to Robin was practically unfolding before him with no barriers. All that was left to do was find where in this gigantic clubhouse the itty little birdie was nesting. Jason tried the common room first. Then the kitchen. Then the rec room. And then the training floor. And the med bay. And then the armory, where he found Robin’s suit, but no actual Robin. He supposed the next place to check would be Robin’s bedroom, because even though it was well past eleven, Drake was a teenager and could conceivably be sleeping in, especially since there was no Alfred around to rouse him at a reasonable hour. Luckily, the doors on the floor with sleeping quarters were all clearly marked with either the name or symbol of the person it belonged to, so it was easy enough to find the one with that all too familiar stylized ‘R’. Jason paused to take a steadying breath before gritting his teeth and deciding to really make an entrance by kicking down the door. 

…To an empty bedroom. Like, not just devoid of Tim Drake, but also devoid of books, trinkets, photos, decoration, clothes, dishes, mess, et cetera, et cetera. It looked as clean and sterile as a hotel room, and if Jason hadn’t literally just seen Robin’s insignia on the door he would think he’d entered an unassigned room by mistake. He frowned and yanked off his helmet, as if looking with his own two eyes would suddenly change the scene, but no. Nothing. He strode into the room and yanked open the closet—empty. He walked over to the desk and yanked open the top drawer—empty. He yanked open the bottom drawer, and mostly empty except for—wait, was that a pile of deactivated Bat trackers? Fucking bizarre. When he stood up, he glanced around again, and this time something on the bed caught his eye. It had been easy to miss against the white pillowcase, but there was an envelope tucked up against the pillow. With a scowl, he stalked over and grabbed it. 

When Jason flipped it over, he noted that it was addressed to Batman, but decided that since he was a crime lord now he didn’t have to care about something as trivial as opening someone else’s mail. He didn't want to take off his gloves and risk leaving prints on anything, so he pulled out a dagger and used it to slice open the envelope. As he flipped it over to dump its contents on the desk, he had the fleeting thought that he probably should have put back on his mask in case this had been some villain’s ploy to poison Batman, but luckily all that fell out was a single sheet of printer paper folded into thirds. 

This he was careful not to damage as he unfolded it. It wasn’t a long note, just a few small paragraphs, so it was quick enough to read: To whom it may concern. This letter is to formally notify you that I’m resigning as Robin in Gotham City, effective immediately… 

Jason dropped the letter and took a step back, staring at the innocuous piece of paper with wide eyes and racing thoughts. Robin had—Drake wasn’t—Timothy—the kid, he was quitting? Leaving? Gone? 

It could be a trap. It probably was a trap. Except Robin shouldn’t have had any way of knowing Red Hood would be able to track him all the way to Titan’s Tower so why would he have set a trap for him in the first place? A trap for someone else, then? If it was, it was really, really stupid of him because the kid had signed his resignation letter from Robin with his actual name, and surely he wouldn’t have made it this far if he were that careless with his identity. So, it was either a very bad trap, or not a trap at all. And if it was not a trap at all, then… 

Then Robin had… resigned. Which, ok, Jason’s stated goal coming into this thing was to get Tim Drake to stop being Robin. So he should be happy about this, right? Except he’d not gotten to toss the kid around and work out his aggression at all so there was no satisfaction in it. Also, the timing was fucking obnoxious. Go figure that the very day he decides to do something about his replacement, the kid decides to peace out of the Gotham vigilante scene and… and go… 

… Somewhere. Jason had no idea where Tim Drake would go if he were no longer Robin. Given how he’d waited until he was alone and then left the note to be found on the other side of the country, Jason had a sneaking suspicion that returning to Gotham was currently off the table. The letter had said he would be ‘out of contact’ for the foreseeable future; Jason could read between the lines enough to figure out that meant he was running away. 

—Which, fuck. Another Robin was running away from Batman because of… well, Jason didn’t know what this kid’s issue with B was, but there were plenty of potential flaws in the man to choose from so Jason was going to play it safe and assume it was something Bruce did. Clearly, the man could never learn. And now, this poor dumb Robin was going to pay the price! Jason was more than familiar with the number of horrors that awaited kids who ended up on their own. He could starve; he could freeze to death; he could catch some disease like the flu, or get cut on a rusty nail and get tetanus, and then die from it because he couldn’t access medical treatment. He could get mugged, or harassed by cops, or snatched up by traffickers, or—

And fine; Jason himself had meant to hurt him. But that had been for ideological purposes, to prove a point about putting children in danger and not taking good enough care of them and stuff. It wasn’t like he was going to hurt him that badly, just bad enough to freak out Bruce a bit. But Jason was also the Red Hood, and the Red Hood’s mission was to do what was necessary to stop awful shit from happening to vulnerable kids. And this stupid, stupid letter was apparently enough to abruptly transfer Timothy Drake into that category in his head. 

Everything Jason had heard about the kid said he was smart, and the timing of his disappearance pointed to some thoughtful planning on his part. Jason could imagine that the little shit had some sort of plan in place to evade Batman’s attempts to locate him, and he probably could manage to run without getting caught by Bruce and the Gotham team for a while. Heck, the kid probably had strategies to get away from most if not all of the Justice League members, since B was sure to call in favors once he got frantic enough about the little bird. But one thing the kid likely did not plan for was being pursued by him. Ex-Robin, currently a crime lord, League of Assassins connections, and a bone to pick with Timothy specifically? (He ran away from home and left a fucking resignation letter about it? Does he not realize what that would do to Dick, to Alfred, to Bruce—)

After stuffing the letter into his pocket, Jason put back on his helmet and stalked out of Titans Tower as silently as he’d arrived, this time with a new yet equally furious purpose sharpening his steps. Sucked to be Timothy Drake, he thought, because the Red Hood got his message and he was officially concerned. 

[flover4ever]

first date⋆.˚ ౨ৎ ˚ ˖࣪

a/n: i think abt matt and karen's date in that restaurant all the time. such a perfect scene! i wanted to capture that energy. i've always wanted to write a matt x librarian! oc fic. but times are tough and i can never commit to things lol. here's a snippet of what could have been. also, i am not from new hampshire. but oh my god, how pretty!!!!! im jealous.

warning: matt murdock x librarian! reader

matt didn't think his night could go any better. in front of him, he's got the most beautiful girl of his dreams. she told him that he is wearing a white cardigan and light blue dress, the fabric reaches the ground. she told him that the kids from the library tell her it reminds them of when the sky is clear of clouds, only sunny and blue.

matt takes a sip of his wine. "you got family in new york?"

"no," she shakes her head, taking a sip of her water (when he first asked her out, he wanted to take her to drinks. but marianne has sworn off drinking for life). "moved here three years ago."

matt's eyebrows raised. matt realized just how little he knew about her, despite how marianne was the common thread in nelson & murdock. "where are you from?"

"new hampshire." said y/n, a small smile peaking through her, like the first ray of sunshine. "it's beautiful there, so much color and life."

"god, it's hard to describe it," she said. matt loved how she described things, down to its smallest details. she talks in such a cadence akin to deep flowing rivers to morning birds. she can make her grocery list sound like a love poem. "it's hard to capture that beauty... sense of awe at the life around you, you know?"

matt smiled, so hard his cheeks started to hurt. he was sure he'd grow smile lines by the time he's forty if he keeps this up. maybe it was worth it. for y/n. "yeah," he muttered, almost lost in a trance.

"why'd you come to new york, then?" he's genuinely curious, his head titled to the side. "i mean, you make new hampshire seem like another planet next to new york."

she laughs, a giddy and joyous thing. "new hampshire's home. but new york, it never leaves you know? even with the grim and grit, there's something or someone that just makes you want to stay. when I interned here in hell's kitchen, the only thing that kept me moving was the kids. story times, their little faces, their constant questions. all of it. it gave me purpose."

matt hears her heart race, the kind that spoke to one's sense of passion. it was almost melodic, the rapid yet enchanting rhythm of muscle.

"nobody truly understands that they're the future," she said. "our future. i want to give something to them, something irreplaceable."

"like reading?"

"yeah," she sighs, like talking about the children of hell's kitchen filled her with such fervor, she couldn't contain it. "exactly."

"but working with the best lawyers in new york is a definitely a bonus," she adds, holding up her glass of water, the ice swirling against the glass.

y/n narrates what she's about to do, matt chuckles as he does the same, their glasses clinking.

"what about you?" she rested her head on her hand, her heartbeat starting to race as she met his eyes. though their gaze would never be able to meet, his dark gaze became her favorite shade of brown. it wasn't like hers, like earth's dirt in new hampshire's wilderness-- it was gold, shining like embers.

"me?" matt raised his eyebrows.

"yeah," she says, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, her vegan samosas long gone by now. "what made you want to be an attorney?"

"it was my father really," said matt. "he was a boxer. . . caught up with the wrong people. and when i was nine, he died. i tried giving him justice, but no luck. i guess i just don't want any nine year old matt's to feel the same way i did."

"like what?"

"helpless."

her gaze softened. "you're a good man, matt."

"i think you are good, too, marianne," says matt. "better than me."

and he meant it. for years when darning the suit of daredevil, he feels as if there is a twisted part of him taking over his soul. every punch felt one step closer to that. being matt murdock, keeps him grounded-- but that wouldn't be possible without foggy, or karen, or y/n.

she seems like she doesn't have to try. she is effortlessly good and pure. and maybe there is a twisted side to her that she hasn't shown to him. but he's hanging out the hope that this is who she truly is. a person who is kind and good at her core, even if she had to eat through the rotten parts of herself. maybe that's what makes her truly good.

[starsfic]

Down Came the Rain and Washed the Bone Out...

Summary: Instead of fire, rain comes down.

Notes: So, look. I know the Samadhi fire was a way to make Xiaojiao more important to the story. I just think it was a dumb idea to use the Samdhi fire for that, considering the fact that dragons can control the weather and Guanyin's vase was mentioned in S2.

-_-

Long Xiaojiao was not having a good time.

Who was kidding her, she was having the worst time. Her body ached like someone had set all of her veins on fire, her bestie probably had a concussion, she was far from home, and Macaque was threatening one of her favorite old men with her own life. And there was still no sign of Sun Wukong.

“I don’t have time for this!” Macaque barked, the cold from the crystal biting into her skin like so many knives. “Tang, finish the ritual! Now!”

“...Alright,” Tang said, reluctance firm in his voice. He began to chant ancient words, each word sitting heavy like the cling of a bell. Slowly, the symbols decorating the ritual site began to glow brighter and brighter, almost blinding.

With each word, her body ached even more. “No! Please!” She struggled, but Macaque’s grip tightened, keeping her suspended in the air despite the pain roaring inside her. “I- I wanna get off this ride! PLEASE! I DON’T WANT TO-”

“MACAQUE!”

Sun Wukong’s voice echoed through the mountains. Xiaojiao could barely hear him, faintly noticing the rings glow magenta and lift up. Tang’s voice continued on, steady and strong despite the panic he must’ve been feeling and the pain that continued to grow and grow. She could hear it, the last bit of the spell-

Wukong launched for Macaque, and the pain of something- something rising up, in her- grew too much-

Xiaojiao threw back her head and screamed as it ripped out, the Samadhi fire whole as something uncorked inside-

And the rain came down.

Xiaojiao felt herself collapse as Wukong slammed into Macaque. She didn’t notice, too busy panting, blinking as the rain fell down. “XIAOJIAO!” Oh, Xiaotian. He was here. She allowed him to prop her up, his worried smile a balm to her stressed nerves. “Are you okay? You- is this you?”

Xiaojiao blinked again as she looked around. Wukong and Macaque had been scuffling, but now they stared as the rain hit the crystal embedded in the shadow monkey’s side. Wherever the rain touched, it shrank back like water dissolving snow until it was gone, leaving Macaque to stare at his hands like he wasn’t sure what they were. The Samadhi fire was aglow in the center, but it was dim, nothing more than embers.

“I think so?” she managed. “I thought…I thought I would have the Samadhi fire in me.” Wasn’t that what her visions had been saying?

“I assumed you would too,” And there was Wukong, staring at her like he was either about to break down laughing or crying and wasn’t sure which to do. He held out his hand in the end. Xiaojiao took it, letting him lift her up. “As far as I know, Ao Lie had the piece embedded in him and made me promise not to tell anyone.”

“You should have.” And there was Li Nezha, staring at the entire scene like he also wasn’t sure whether to break down laughing or crying. “How is the rain doing this? When you asked the Dragon Kings for a storm when Red Boy burned down the valley, it made the fire worse?” It had? Xiaojiao glanced nervously at the fire, but it was still just embers.

Wukong raised a brow, glancing at her like she knew. “I have no idea.” Xiaojiao shrugged back. As far as she knew, dragons did have control over the weather, but her line was so far from that. He cupped his hands and let some rain pour in before taking a drink. His eyes went wide. “How are you doing this?”

“The rain?”

“No, the water. It’s from Guanyin’s ocean.” She could hear Tang gasp- Red Boy must’ve been the demon he had told Xiaotian about, the one that Wukong needed Guanyin’s vase to defeat.

“What?” Nezha said before Xiaojiao could react to that. “That’s impossible.”

“Drink some. It’s sweet.”

Nezha, after a moment, cupped his hands. Xiaojiao pulled off her gloves and cupped her hands as well, letting some of her rain (and, wow, she had made rain) puddle in. She drank it once she was done, noticing Xiaotian do the same without removing his gloves.

And Wukong was right. The rain tasted sweet and clear. Not like the fancy bottled water one of her cousins liked, full of fancy purified spring water, but just… sweet. As Xiaojiao swallowed, she felt whatever aches and pains that remained fade away. Xiaotian’s bruises, including one dark one that covered half of his face, slowly disappeared. "Look at the city!" Sandy called from the edge. "The crystal's all melting away!"

Xiaotian turned and gasped, eyes shining as he looked down at the city far below. The screams had died down, but Xiaojiao's eyes were more focused on Macaque. Anger burned in her chest just from the sight of him. He looked up from studying his hands and made eye contact with her. She could practically see him jolt in realization that she was there, staring at him.

And, like it was all part of his plan, he grinned, bowed, and ducked into a shadow.

"Coward," she huffed to herself, just wanting to pull out her sword and skewer him with it. Maybe he would come back- he couldn't seem to leave Wukong or Xiaotian alone.

"Oh!" She glanced over at Xiaotian's gasp. "Your face!" he said, drawing closer and cupping her face with gentle hands.

"What? Do I have mud somewhere?" The area was getting pretty muddy and, mixed with the snow, it looked like an unappetizing mush. She wuldn’t be surprised if she accidentally kicked some on herself in the rain haze. "Do I have mud on my face? I do, don't I?"

"No, no," His gaze was reverent in a way that made her entire face warm. She was so glad Xiaotian agreed to be her 'just in case' husband. But, her concern was what was on her face. "You have scales."

"I what?" She didn’t have scales. Her parents had to disappoint a very young Xiaojiao that her human form would never have scales. But, now?

“Look!" He pulled out his phone and pulled up the camera, turning on selfie mode. And there, in the glow of the lanterns, Xiaojiao realized he was right. White scales, jade green coloring the edge, lined her eyes and trailed back to her ears and down to her chin. Even cooler was the set of antler horns that now jutted out from her pigtails. She grinned, admiring her teeth, which even seemed to be a little sharper.

She was a member of the dragons, yes. But sometimes, she didn't feel like it, especially with the forming rift between her and her parents. Now, however, she never felt more powerful. She couldn't help but bare her teeth in a grin and Xiaotian wasted no time in snapping a photo.

"Oh!" Tang and Pigsy had come close, probably just to check on them. As the pig demon led Xiaotian back a step to hug his son, Tang cupped her face. He thankfully looked better than at the beginning of the ritual, with the bruises that he said came from Macaque gone in the purified rain, but still guilty. He cupped her face, leaning forward to press their foreheads together. "You look amazing, Xiaojiao."

“Thanks, Tangy.”

"You did great, Xiaojiao," Wukong's voice interrupted the moment, drawing her back to the fact that, oh yeah, he hadn't left, unlike Macaque. "I was worried for a second that the entire mountain was gonna light up in fire and I forgot to bring some purified water just in case." Nezha gaped from behind him, right next to Sandy, who probably had a full lecture on how dangerous that was. Xiaojiao had heard enough lectures about wildfires when she and her family had gone ‘camping’ in the United States. "So," He clapped his hands together. "Thank you."

"Was this part of your plan?" Xiaojiao had to ask. She had a sinking feeling, that, no it wasn't, but she had to ask. "What even was your plan?" Her anger rose. "Did you know I had the Samadhi fire piece in me?!"

"Well, uh..." Wukong sighed. "Yes."

That was enough to unchain the anger inside.

"And you hid it from all of us! Why?! What were you afraid of?!" It was unfair and cruel, but Xiaojiao was furious. She only faintly noticed the rain stop, answering to the heat of her fury, and heard Pigsy push Xiaotian back and away. Good, she didn’t need him jumping in to defend the oh-so-mighty Sun Wukong like he had been the entire trip. "That you were going to have to tear me apart to get your precious Samadhi Fire?!"

Wukong threw his hands up immediately, shaking his head furiously. "No! I thought if I could get the Samadhi fire out of you, without hurting you of course. Then I could put it inside myself." He gestured to his chest, right where Ao Lie’s piece must’ve gone. She could imagine the pain that would happen from that. "Then I don't know, use it to burn up the Lady Bone Demon or something? I was kinda making this up as I went-"

"That was your plan?!"

"That's not a good plan!"

Nezha and Xiaotian's yells did nothing to calm her. Instead, she was imagining Wukong or even Xiaotian throwing their head back with a pained scream as the Samadhi fire sank into them, just like she had only a few minutes ago. It was enough to make her want to throw up.

"Yeah, to be honest, this is the first time I've said it out loud, so..." Wukong shrugged, like it was normal to attempt to put a world-ending fire inside himself.

"We trusted you! All of us! How could you lead us into this fight without a real plan?!” She launched forward, slamming her finger into his chest. “Time and time again, I've watched you put Xiaotian in danger, leaving him to figure everything on his own! Don't you realize you're hurting the people who care about you the most?!"

Her answer was a blank stare.

Xiaojiao felt a sense of unease crawl over her. She was pretty sure that, if the Samadhi fire had worked like expected, Wukong would have had more of a reaction. "You...you do know that we care about you, right?" She thought they had bonded even through her unease about the seeming lack of plan and her own thoughts about him leaving Xiaotian behind.

It was then that she realized Nezha was shaking his head and mouthing "No."

Wukong finally spoke, although he seemed to ignore her question, and Nezha shaking his head. "Now that the Samadhi fire is summoned, you guys head back." He headed to the embers. Despite the wet embers, something gleamed like a star. "I'll handle this."

"What- No!" Xiaojiao launched forward, suddenly determined to make him listen. "Didn't you just hear me?! You- We need to make a real plan-" Her rain could melt the crystal. She could weaken the Lady Bone Demon.

He whirled around so fast that Xiaojiao was knocked off guard. He gripped her shoulders tight, tight enough that Xiaojiao felt tears prick her eyes, and forced her back.

It wasn't until her waist was buried in mud that he realized he was forcing her down.

His eyes burned into her soul, much hotter than the flames. "I know you guys have a problem listening. But please, stay the fuck here. For your own safety." Pigsy and Tang rushed toward her as Xiaotian rushed towards Wukong, begging him to stay and listen.

But he didn't look back, not until he was picking up that star. His smile was soft, just for Xiaotian in that moment. It was there, Pigsy trying to lift her up and yelling for Sandy as Tang clawed through the mud, that she realized that he did care.

Too much.

"I'm sorry, kid."

He pushed the star inside his chest and summoned his Nimbus cloud before the magenta flames could alight. And then he was gone, leaving a trail of purple and gold.

And there, Xiaojiao threw her head back and screamed.

Lightning was the only thing that answered.

[appleslicesinjuice]

I gave up on this so it will remained unfinished.. buuuut I will be working on actual writing pieces that will be better than this soon!

Just writing about cursed dark cacao and all that I think is happening + more + actual scenes from the crk game

Standing there swaying on his feet he desperately tries to keep himself upright, to keep himself standing tall but he just couldn't do it, his legs bend before he even realizes it, buckling beneath him, the sound of metal colliding with the floor rings out as his body finally gave in. His breathing comes in short ragged breaths as he desperately tries to drag in air that just wont come. He barely even saw it coming, it was too late before he heard the young priestess casting some sort of spell on him. He swallows, his mouth feeling terribly dry as he lifts his head to glare at her, rage now boiling inside him beneath the surface, a searing hot rage that if left unkept would swallow him whole. "You.. will never.. HAVE ME!" He shouts at her as he then forces his sword into the floor beside him with a heavy thump, now using it to steady himself. The room as he knows it begins to spin, making it hard to keep upright as he continues to stare daggers at the priestess who still continues to chant out the rest of her incantation. Her words began to echo in his ears her sentences slowly merging with familiar yet undistinguishable voices that all murmur in the background, the noise of the castle around him begin to grow muffled as all he's able to hear now is the voices. The rage that was burning beneath his skin slowly began to dwindle into a weak ember, a feeling of confusion and dread had claimed him in an instant. There was never a moment in his life where he couldn’t control his emotions but as of right now, he felt completely helpless, his grip on his sword tightens as he begins to fight not only with himself but for the control of his body. Whatever curse that has been plaguing him continued to fester, having started out as a dull ache that soon turned into a burning pain that spread across his body. "Release me.. from this sorcery at once!" He gasps as he slowly lifts himself to his feet, using his sword heavily for support. He didn't want to admit it but he knew something was wrong, something was terribly wrong with him and he couldn't see it just yet. Losing sight of everything else around him as his vision focused in on the priestess, her eyes now widening in.. fear? The pain grows to be too much, so much so he couldn't help but cry out, feeling like his dough was being torn apart from inside out. In a desperate attempt he tries to swing his sword at her but he could barely lift his arms to do so, every part of him feeling like a lead weight keeping him him from moving a thing.

For what felt like the first time he finally looks back down at his body, immediately seeing darkness spreadinjg across his dough, at first he thought it was just the spot on his arm but with further inspection it became clear it was worse than that. The darkness had been consuming him this entire time and he's just now noticing it, seeping into his dough and taking control of him. "Crumbs.." Is all he's able to mutter before another stabbing pain tears through his body, letting out another cry as he doubles over shutting his eyes tight. Through the faint whispers he's sure he heard something.. CRACK!, opening his eyes he looks down to see a large crack splitting down his chest plate, darkness seeping out from the opening. Now with the darkness spilling out of his chest plate it adds to the darkness that was already spreading fact across his dough, crawling down his body engulfing his legs completely before becoming flush with his own dough. Darkness slowly worked its way up, consuming every inch of him, unable to move, breathe, or clearly think he just freezes. Eyes growing wide in shock before they too, like the rest of him, are consumed by darkness, clouding his vision with images he'd never thought he'd ever see again in years, images that were buried deep in the back of his mind, reopening so many other doors that he wished would've just stayed shut forever. Opening his mouth to cry out again he immediately choked on the darkness that was flooding every part of him. He couldn't see what was happening to him but he could feel every bit of it, his dough feeling as if was being torn in two. It all grew to be too much for him, he doesn't know when but eventually he must've lost consciousness. Looking down at his body he's back to normal, his armor now missing the split down the middle. "What on Earthbread happened to me.." he says baffled at the sight of seeing himself unharmed not a single scratch or bruise in sight. Looking up he sees he's in the throne room, a sudden realization washes over him, he wasn't alone in here, although he remembers that fact there was no cookie in sight. Beginning to feel uneasy in the eerie quiet of the throne room he figures it would be best to see if he is able to regroup with the others to find out what had happened to him. Walking through the kingdom he notices just how quiet it is, he can't see or hear a single cookie moving about. This just makes the pit of unease in him grow as he quickens his pace, opening every door along the way. "Caramel arrow cookie?" he calls, still walking through the large castles halls, now reaching to his side for a sword that wasn't there. Thinking he must've left it back in the throne room he turns on his heel, keeping the same pace he had as he heads back, spotting the sword on the floor from where he was in the hall. Now standing over it he bends down to pick it up, having only looked down for two seconds he's shocked to see the room around him had completely changed, going from the throne room to a vast white void. Immediately put on edge he stands guard bringing his sword up, ready to attack, looking around for what could possibly be causing this. Listening intently he catches faint ringing, without wasting a second he turns towards the direction he heard it but just like everywhere else he's looked there's nothing to see. Although there's nothing to see he doesn't relax, only now hearing the ringing again but from a different direction but louder, remembering hearing them before as the priestess's bells. "Show yourself!" He shouts into the void, his grip on his sword tightening, keeping his head on a swivel. "I already know what you're here to do, I will not let you defeat me!" he sees movement in the corner of his corner of his eye, quickly reacting with a quick slash of his sword, as it comes in contact with the figure he finally turns. The sight in front of him was something he never thought he would ever see, he was sure he had cut them yet here this cookie stands, completely unharmed.

Even though he was sure he had cut them he readied his blade again, preparing for another swing. With all his force the blade slices through the air coming in contact with the figure again, he couldn't believe what he was seeing, the blade had passed right through them. He's come to the immediate realization this is already a losing battle as he goes for another swing, only to realize he's gripping at nothing but air. Stepping back a bit he finally says "What do you want from me." he scowls, his eyes narrowing at the figure in front of him, everything about them just setting him on edge. They only give a slight shrug in return, tilting their head to the side to study him in turn.

KABOOM!! No more story

[boygiwrites]

Harley D. Dixon 1

• Gen Tags. Found family, Daddy issues, Hurt and comfort, Gore.

• Summary. Harley D. Dixon is a tough yet sweet little girl who until the dead started eating the living, thought she had seen it all. Alongside a mismatched group of survivors in rural Georgia, Harley and her Dad are forced to leave their small life behind and learn how to survive all over again through the horrors of the apocalypse.

An amazing edit inspired by this story! (Cred to Cora_Line99) Harley D. Dixon's Pinterest Board! Harley D. Dixon's Playlist!

📖Chapter List.

❤️Cross-Posted from Ao3.

Author's Note. Here we gooo! Argh, I'm so excited.

I've been wanting to write something like this for a long, long time. I've read just about every 'Daryl has a daughter' story out there, and now I've finally got my own to share. I just love Daryl, and Daryl with a kid is a whole other thing. We all know he wouldn't be the perfect parent, so you bet I'm gonna play right into that. He's gonna swear, he's gonna be strict, and he's gonna mess up. As for Harley (Yes, as in the motorcycle brand), I love her too. So ready to write her.

This story will cover the general plot of the show. To keep things fresh, I've made sure that almost every canon scene has undergone at least one small change. Plus, of course, many new scenes. Occasionally, I'll make bigger changes just to keep you on your feet! Nobody's safe! I'm also gonna be expanding on all the characters. And lastly — FOUND FAMILY! Piles and piles and piles of found family, eventually. I live for found family.

Please enjoy reading! :)

My Uncle Merle died today.

I'm sitting in a crinkly green camping chair, watching embers die.

I don't wanna think about my Uncle right now, so I think about something else.

The fire was built last night by Glenn and Morales. Then Lori came along this morning very quietly and made it alive again with logs and wads of notebook paper. Thinking about facts is easy. It's like sucking on a plain candy that tastes like nothing. There's a navy-blue blanket across my lap with three holes in it, perfect for nibbling, poking, and ripping. Dale gave it to me when the cold settled in this afternoon. He told me he reckons it's around June, as he covered my shoulders, which used to be his niece's birthday.

He says she looked a little like me. That means she's dead. So many people are dead, now.

A thin log in the campfire cracks and tumbles over after trying to stay upright all morning. I hope I don't look like that log.

I can hear Officer Rick approaching. My stomach becomes a stone.

I can tell it's Rick because he's got one of them power walks that you can hear coming from a mile away, which I think makes him pretty stupid. He's loud, and loud is dangerous, and dangerous is stupid. My Dad's not like that. Unless he's angry or running, ain't nobody hearing my Dad coming; especially not no squirrels.

He's almost as big as my Grandpappy Dixon, who people used to say was as big as a house, and he wears super heavy boots from a hunting store near our house — but he's still not loud, or dangerous, or stupid. Not like Officer Rick.

"Hey, Harley."

I think I hate Officer Rick. I think I hate everyone.

And I think I might be crying now, too. I focus on twirling the blanket strings around my finger so I have something very simple to think about, which is that it hurts real bad when I twist it tight. I see Rick crouch down in front of me. He takes a while to say anything else, and it's prolly 'cause he's tryna be real careful, so he don't make me cry even more.

If my Dad weren't out hunting, he'd prolly slap Rick and everybody else that's tried badgering me today dead for tryna do his job for him. I feel like, just by sitting here, I'm disobeying him. Rick ain't my Daddy.

"We, uh..." He clears his throat. "Me and Lori, and some other folks are uh... Well, we're all a little worried about you, honey, okay?"

I imagine a small group of folks gathered by the RV right now, watching me and Rick; wondering if he's gonna be the one to get through to me.

I'm worried for when my Daddy comes back. When he finds out about Uncle Merle, he's gonna be fuming. He's gonna be like one of them cartoon characters with the bright red faces and the smoke comin' outta their ears, stomping all around, and he's prolly gonna kill somebody. It's prolly gonna be Rick. He always told me cops are bastard liars, and that they can't help us.

I look up at Rick. Yep, I've been crying.

Rick's all blurry, but I can still make out his ugly Sheriff's badge and his scary blue eyes and his frowning eyebrows that look like clenched fists, and I can tell he's been waiting to be the one to talk to me. I bet he thinks it makes him better than everyone else; better than my Uncle Merle, who he left to die just 'cause he ain't like him. I wanna kick Rick right in the face. I think he knows this, but he doesn't move.

"First off, I wanna say that I'm sorry about what happened to your Uncle Merle." Rick says all nice and gentle.

Nothin' happened to him.

It weren't no freak accident, which is what Uncle Merle used to say happened to my Momma.

Rick killed him.

"I know he meant a lot to you. And I'm sorry. If I had'a known he had a niece to come back to, maybe I woulda been a little wiser with my decision makin'. But Harley," He tilts his head and puts a hand on my knee for this part. "You gotta know, like I know, that your Uncle was a danger to us all."

There's a little angry parasite inside of me. It's been growing and growing ever since the group came back from Atlanta, and I couldn't find my Uncle Merle in the crowd. I've never noticed my Uncle Merle so much than when I realised he wasn't there. It was like there was the wrong amount of space left in the air and Rick was taking up the too much of it. Ever since the cars showed up, everything has been wrong, wrong, wrong.

Ever since Rick showed up.

"If I hadn't stepped in when and how I did," Rick says, "Your Uncle wouldda gotten us all in a lotta trouble."

Another log crumbles in the campfire. My finger aches and pulses around the string.

That hungry little parasite — hungry for Rick to hurt like I'm hurting, needing it more than anything — makes me tell him, "I wish he did." And again, because it feels good. Rick becomes even more blurry, as my voice makes an embarrassing hicking noise. "I wish you died."

I expect to be hit. That's what happens sometimes, when little girls don't know their place.

Tellin' adults I want them dead — That ain't my place. And I know it. I just don't care.

My Uncle Merle wasn't a danger, he was just Uncle Merle; Has been since I could talk. He used to feed me bits of his sandwich out on the deck back at home, like the tomato, 'cause he ain't like the taste. He used to fix my bike when it was broken. He used to make sure I was the first one to open presents at Christmas, and help me wrestle the wrapping when there was too much tape. He used to pull my wobbly baby teeth out for me and let me outside without shoes. He wasn't mean, or bad, or loud, or dangerous, or stupid; at least not always. He wasn't the one that got my Momma killed. He was good. And now he'd dead.

If someone had to die, I wish it had'a been Rick — Stupid, noisy, idiot Rick who ain't shed one single tear after what he done to my Uncle Merle.

I wanna get hit. I want him to hit me so bad that I'm allowed to hit him back.

"Okay." Rick says, and I can't breathe.

I feel like everything goes silent throughout camp, like the chairs and the cars and the people are all holding their breaths like I am. He actually looks a little sad, which feels really, really bad, because I wanna be angry.

"Okay. That's okay."

But as I think about my Uncle Merle, and the tomatoes, and my old bike, and what Christmas used to feel like, and my Daddy, and how he ain't even know about Merle yet, I realise I'm just really, really sad.

I can't even see Rick anymore, my eyes are so watery. My whole body hurts from being sad. I feel like I'm sick and I need to go to the doctor, but I don't even know what for. There aren't even any doctors here. Just two bastard liar cops, some campers, and a space where my Uncle Merle should be.

I think, after a while, Rick leaves.

My Dad still keeps his wallet.

It's in a backpack under his sleeping cot. He says that everything inside that bag will keep us alive some day, if we ever need to leave the quarry camp. He said I need to know exactly where it is so that I can grab it if he can't. He showed me everything the night we got here, because he forced me to, because it's important. The other kids don't learn stuff like this from their parents. It makes me feel smart. I'm in on a secret. He showed me the bug spray, which keeps our skin healthy from bug diseases, and he showed me the flashlight, which has two batteries and a big black button. He showed me the compass, the box of matches, the big knife, the little knife, the rope, and the map. It's like a Jenga tower. If we lose even one thing from the backpack; everything topples, and we die — I die. You gotta listen t'me, chicken. My Daddy's always been like this.

But the wallet made no sense.

We don't gotta pay taxes no more, like Merle said. I don't know what taxes are, except they're bad, and gone, and nobody liked them anyway. And I saw my Dad burn all his money in a campfire one night, so it can't be that.

It's the pictures, Dad told me. He flipped it open like a book, and we looked at 'em together on top of his sleeping bag. I felt like crying for a second because we forgot all my storybooks when we left our house, but Daddy hates it when I cry, so I dried up. Crying is for babies, and I'm a big girl. He showed me a photo of an actual baby, and after he touched the baby's face with his fingertip, he said the baby was me. I didn't think I could look like that. He stopped talking for a while. I listened to the cicadas in the trees to pass the time while he touched the photo. Then it was bedtime.

I'm looking at the photo now, waiting for him to get back.

I was a very pink baby. I was only the size of his forearm, which in the photo, hasn't been tattooed yet. The tattoo of my name is missing, which goes up his wrist in curly letters. Harley Davidson Dixon. It's the name of a motorcycle. The tattoo of the skull and the bleeding angel are missing, too. He's fixing my baby blanket around my chin. I guess he's been doing that since the day I was born. Every night, at least up until last week, my Dad tucks me into bed and sings me the same song. Hush little baby, don't say a word. Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird. I like his voice when he sings to me. Usually, he's yelling, or grumblin', but in those twenty seconds before I have to go to sleep, and nobody else is listening, he's softly whispering the lyrics to me, and touching on my ears and my cheeks. In the photo, he's crying down into his smiling mouth. That's something he doesn't do anymore.

The next photo is of us at the zoo. I know it was taken on one of the weekends I was at my Dad's house, because my Momma's not in this one. Just my Dad and two of his friends, I think, who are throwing rock star hands in the air. I'm wearing a black shirt with a videogame character on it that my Dad likes, and brown pants. I'm sitting on my Dad's hip as we pose in front of three giant elephants. My Dad's got a tiny purple backpack over his shoulder that makes him look sorta funny. It used to be mine. I'm looking at the elephant's long, silly-straw trunk as it tries to sniff us, but my Daddy's lookin' at me. I wish I remembered this day.

The third photo is a school photo with a swirly blue background. I remember this one. My Momma did my hair that day.

I know why he keeps his wallet, now. Just like how we need the bug spray, and the matches, and the rope, and the knives, and the map, and the flashlight to stay alive — I think my Dad needs these photos. They won't keep him warm or stop bugs from chewing on him, but he needs them.

I shove the wallet back where I found it, 'cause I'm not meant to be goin' through my Dad's things.

My Dad comes back while I'm vomiting under a tree.

At first, he doesn't see me. He calls for me to come get my little butt over there, so I can help him and Uncle Merle stew up some rabbits for dinner but when he hears me retch, he comes running over. I hear his crossbow drop and some more people call after him.

One minute, Lori and Amy are holding back my hair and patting my shoulders the best they can, and the next, my Daddy's forcing his way in. I'm rocking and I'm swaying like I'm on a life raft in the ocean, and I can hear Rick's voice and then Shane's and then Dale's. My Dad grabs the back of my neck and squeezes it, the way Lori and Amy would never know how to do, and tells me to lean forward some more. It works. I vomit up a chunky puddle of peaches and jerky into the dirt.

Then, I'm empty, and I'm crying — crying hard — into my Dad's lap.

"Someone wanna tell me what the Hell's goin' on here?" He snarls at whoever's around.

Feels like half the camp is here.

"How 'bout we all just try—" Shane's suggesting, but my Dad cuts him off.

"How 'bout ya'll just spit it out? And where the Hell's my brother?"

That makes me bury deeper into my Dad's legs, moaning and hiccupping. He puts a hand over my head. He's clocked the problem.

"Where the Hell's my damn brother?"

"Look, Daryl," Shane levels, "I'm just gonna come out and say it, alright? There was a problem in Atlanta."

My Dad's panting, now. "What fuckin' 'problem'?"

"Listen—"

"He dead?" Underneath me, my Dad's muscles are lurching and stopping, lurching and stopping, like he wants so much to just jump up and knock Shane to the ground, but he won't bring himself to leave me. The camp has gone completely silent.

Shane stammers. I've never heard Shane stammer. "We're— We're not sure."

The silence just keeps on goin' and goin' and goin', and somehow, it's even scarier than the yelling.

"There's no easy way to say this," Rick says, voice lowered. I wonder what my Dad looks like; if I was right about the cartoon thing.

Dad presses my head further into his stomach. "Who're you?"

"Rick Grimes."

"'Rick Grimes'." He spits, like it's an insult. It is. Bastard cop liar. "You got sum' you wanna tell me?"

"Your brother was a danger to us all." Lies Rick. "So I handcuffed him on a roof; Hooked him to a piece of metal. He's still there."

After he says this, something in the air must have changed; something must have snapped without even makin' a sound, because Lori's whispering to me that I should follow her back to camp, like we're running out of time. She tries to pull me away, but I kick her; kick her hard, in the shin. She tries again. I realise she's trying to separate me from my Dad. Then, I realise he's sorta shaking. Lurching, stopping, lurching stopping. Silence, silence.

"Lemme get this straight." Dad whispers, and it's not the nice kind, like when he sings. "You're tellin' me that you handcuffed my brother to a roof."

Glenn's pulling at me now, too. Nobody else moves a muscle.

"And you left him there?!"

This time, he lurches and he doesn't stop. Glenn catches me as I'm flung from my Daddy's hip, and he passes me off to Lori as Dad goes lunging at Rick. The brown pebbles go flying up into the air. My Dad tackles Rick at the waist, and they crash into the leaves and the twigs, and his fist — The one with my birth date tattooed on each knuckle — goes smack, smack, smack, into Rick's cheek. There's yelling; scrambling. Glenn and Shane pull my Dad off of Rick, and that smacking sound stops. Dad beats Shane offa him and then, — 

"Watch the knife!" T-Dog yells. Now there's a swishing sound, and grunting sounds, and I was right — My Daddy's gonna kill Rick.

My Daddy's killed someone before. He did it on accident, 'cause he got so angry that he didn't stop until the guy was dead and gone, which means that it was aggravated manslaughter. It was in the afternoon, just like it is right now, and I was playin' in the front yard in the sprinklers. My Dad and Uncle Merle were in the open garage, smoking and poking at their bikes with tools. Ronnie lived two trailers down. I was small, and easy to pick up, so I don't remember much, but Ronnie snatched me up right there in the yard. My Daddy says he was gon' take me. But he didn't let him. Ronnie got chased into the woods, and for two days, my Daddy and Uncle Merle searched for him. Then they beat him so bad his Momma ain't recognise him when the ambulance people dragged him out in a big black bag, and the cops took my Daddy away while the sun rose. I wasn't allowed to see him for four and a half years.

I need my Dad. Suddenly, I'm shrieking at him to stop, even though I want Rick dead so bad. By now, Shane's got my Dad in a chokehold up against a tree. Are he and Rick allowed to take my Daddy away? Lori and — I think that's Amy — are shushin' me, but I just keep hittin' on them and shouting.

I writhe in the dirt. "Stop! Daddy!"

"Damn pigs!" Dad growls. "You're stressin' out my kid, now! Lemme the Hell go!"

Shane laughs. "Nah, I think it's better if I don't." Then he turns to Lori, because what my Dad said is true. "Get Harley out of here."

I don't let her move me when she tries.

Dad struggles. "Chokehold's illegal, bastard!"

"You can file a complaint later." Shane scoffs. "We got all day here."

Rick steals my Dad's knife off the ground and gets in his face. His cheek is all red and purple. The fight's over. "What I did was not on a whim," He tells my Dad straight. "Your brother does not work and play well with others. I did what had to be done in the moment, to keep us all alive."

He's lyin'. He's lyin' again. My Uncle Merle chopped these people's firewood and brought them meat. He worked well.

My Dad shoots out a foot to try hit Rick in the crotch. He misses. Shane pushes his face harder into the tree.

"It's not Rick's fault." T-Dog holds up his hands, coming close. "It's mine. I had the key. I dropped it."

"You couldn't pick it up?" Dad sasses.

"It fell in a drain." T-Dog serves up this answer like it means anything at all. I hate him.

"If that's 'posed to make me feel better, it don't." 

"Well, maybe this will." T-Dog's lookin' at me, now, too. "The door to the roof — I locked it with a padlock so the geeks couldn't get to him. There's a good chance he's still alive."

I heard this all before, when all them people kept coming up to me at the campfire. Lori told me to get some food in my stomach; the peaches and jerky. Shane tried to make me go play with Carl. T-Dog said sorry over and over again. Dale gave me the blanket. Rick made me cry. I know how this goes, though. Gettin' someone killed and killin' them with your actual hands are the same thing. I know that.

"To Hell with all'a ya'll!"

He shakes Shane off and beelines for me. He takes me from Lori with bloodied hands — Rick's blood — and I let him yank me by the back of my shirt to my feet, and I fall into his chest when he crouches. His breath is heavy on my neck. Even his skin is hot.

Lori's pale as an egg. I think she's scared of my Dad.

He takes a big breath, stands up, and drags me by the hand back to our tent without sayin' another word.

[juniperhillpatient]

thank you SO much @missjessefantastico for the tag <3 ALSO EVERYONE READ THIS SERIES ABOUT VAMP WILLOW, THE UNDERRATED HYENA KIDS, & MORE!!! It's so good btvs fans who love underexplored ideas & characters pspspsps

20 Questions For Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 19

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 3,027,073

3. What fandoms do you write for? It's been Avatar the Last Airbender for the past few years. I have an old & probably not-good Rick & Morty fic up. Before that, I had some IT fics. I've got an orphaned fic for scream & one for house of 1000 corpses.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

the benefits of getting a flat tire this is Zuko running away from home & running right into the gaang - also uncovering some family mysteries & reconciling with Azula. modern au. it's Zukka & aw I'm nostalgic for those early days of mine in the fandom

if this were a movie this is basically an ATLA Hollywood Au. Zukka & Azutara. Past Jetko. I was happy with some of the dramatic moments in this fic.

not another high school au lord help me lmao. I'm SO sorry if you are reading this & you happen to love this fic but it's not the thing I'm most proud of. this is basically just me dipping my toes into writing ATLA modern AUs & in that sense I guess it's nostalgic? this is the fic I wrote as a newbie to the fandom just trying it out & I still do lovingly appreciate everyone who was kind & welcoming in those early days!

six feet under ATLA TVD AU MY BELOVED OMG. this is a vampire diaries au. there are no 1:1 translations but azula is damon, katara is a mix of jeremy & elena & so is sokka, zuko is stefan & YEAH. also aang is bonnie & iirc I probably even gave toph something fun to do. ozai is Katherine which is forever hilarious to me. yeah, this was a fun fic.

5. in search of glorious happenings of happenstance this fic is about nothing & everything at the same time. atla/modern world fusion with the four nations existing but also it's modern. all the atla teens/kids are going to college at ember island university & the fic takes place across a year. it's slice of life, comedy, drama, & chaos. lots of ships but I think azutara & jet/zuko/jin are probably, at the end of the day, the romances that are at the heart of this story although platonic relationships are also pretty important in this fic, IMO as much as romances. it's probably my magnum opus or something.

Do you respond to comments? yes <3 I am sometimes slow & I am not perfect but I TREASURE comments & do attempt to let people know as much. I write for myself, I post for the connections I make along the way.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? the devil you know for sure. this is my atla/scream modern au. I talk about it constantly because I'm so insanely proud of it but if you don't know it's exactly what it sounds like. it's horror & tragedy that I feel really proud of & I do think those elements are at the heart of my writing passion despite me usually being a bit nervous about using them. so. I'm proud of this fic. & it has a very bittersweet ending but the tragedy is...there's a lot of tragedy. no more spoilers because I want people to read this!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? most of my fics have decently happy endings despite me claiming to prefer tragedy lol. I seem to recall the things we leave behind (mailee youtuber au with jetko & auztara. & they were roommates!) having a tooth rottingly fluffy ending lol

8. Do you get hate on fics? not really. it's happened before but it's not a big thing.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? sometimes I write the smutty scenes from my fics then save it only for myself. no you can't see. it's probably terrible. there's some shitty zucest smut of mine out there somewhere but I'm not sure it's any good & couldn't tell you where to find it lol

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I think the AUs I write are called "fusion" because it's more "inserting characters into another world & the characters of that world aren't a thing." but my fic the balance of things was actually a crossover with characters from both wizards of waverly place & atla interacting. also I wrote THIS one-shot that's a crossover between the game the coffin of andy & leyley & the show wizards of waverly place. I didn't post it on ao3 but I'm just saying.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?  I don't think so?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have vague memories of doing this with this girl I was online friends with back in my fanfic.net days, years ago. I think it was Destiel.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? to write? I don't have one right now. I think maybe I got kinda burnt out on everything having to be about one ship or whatever rather than just telling the story & maybe that's a small part of why I'm taking a temporary break from fic writing & focusing on an original story so I'm not staying within fandom approved in parameters & I can just do whatever feels right ya know? I like Cisne's answer about any willow ship tho. me with my faves tbh hehe

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? can't think of one but I can think of fanfic ideas I'd like to return to & fully realize after I get back in the mood

16. What are your writing strengths? I like to think I'm okay at characterization although moving away from fanfic & working on something original has me questioning myself constantly!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I'm very lazy & often neglect research. sometimes if I don't know how to explain something I just change the whole scene so i don't have to bother.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? could be neat in the right context!

19. First fandom you wrote for? probably family guy lmao

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? maybe 'in search of glorious happenings of happenstance.' I think 'the devil you know' is objectively the strongest. but happenstance is just such a specific version of the characters that's fun to me? it's one of those two that's my favorite, depending on my mood

this is very long so these tags have even less pressure than usual:

@reythespacebae @theowritesfiction @imaslowlearner-butilearn @chasingfictions @hello-nichya-here @matchamarshmallow @akiizayoi4869 @dont-leafmealone @peony-pearl @lunaintheskyforever

also, anyone who wants to do this just say I tagged you!

[bosspigeon]

see me bare my teeth for you

i know i'm not the only one who thought it was incredibly stupid to let the amoral vampire twink stick his teeth in your neck, so i thought i'd do a rewrite of the bite scene with a Tav who doesn't have the self-preservation instincts of a ham sandwich~

The tiefling’s eyes burn like embers in the dark, and set deeply in the ashen-grey of his skin painted blue-black by the night’s shadows, he looks very much like a vengeful spirit risen from his grave to smite those who wronged him in his life.

But Astarion is hungry.

And now his face hurts, to boot. He didn’t expect the big devil-spawn to be able to move so damned quickly.

But, well, sore jaw or no, the cat’s out of the bag, so he has no choice but to resort to his usual means of survival, however much it rankles–he grovels. He simpers and plays up the pitiful creature, weak from hunger, with all the best puppy eyes he can muster, pouty and sweet.

The tiefling–Pyre–he’s a veteran soldier, with the discipline and strategic mind to match. Astarion watches those glowing ember eyes as they take him in, flickering over him top to bottom, as if ascertaining what sort of threat he is, and how quickly he could eliminate that threat. He hasn’t even bothered to stand up, still sitting on his bedroll, not quite relaxed but as close as he ever seems to be. He doesn’t seem to be so paranoid as to sleep in his armor, but his massive broadsword is lying conspicuously close to his hand.  Astarion curses that he didn’t have the foresight to kick it away before he tried to snack on the big bastard.

He wants to snarl, but he hides his fangs the best he can, however much his stomach protests, however much he wants to sink them into the brute’s stony flesh and feed.

“You tried to bite me,” Pyre rumbles, and finally something in his expression shifts with the slight quirk of one scarred brow. Astarion follows the line of the scar down over his cheekbone, narrowly missing his eye. It is one of many. The man’s face and–as one can only assume–his body are mapped with scars, wicked blade slashes and puckered burns and jagged claw gouges. A lifetime of battles fought carved into his skin like a mountain battered by storms. Still standing, against it all. “How can I trust you?”

“Because we don’t have a choice!” the vampire retorts, with perhaps more desperation than he’d ever care to admit. “Not if we’re going to save ourselves from these worms…” He flails his hand a bit, looking at the ground between the tiefling’s splayed legs and staunchly not at his damnably expressionless face, his burning ochre eyes. From what little he knows of Pyre, he is a man of action. Of practicality. Of making necessary decisions with what little they have. Astarion is an asset to the tiefling, same as the tiefling is to him. “I need you alive. You need me strong.” He meets Pyre’s eyes again, and he almost regrets it. The heat of them settles deep in his belly, making him feel unsettlingly warm and… seen. “Please,” he ekes out, refusing to be consumed. He does the consuming, thank you very much. “Only a taste, I swear. I’ll be well, you’ll be fine, and everything can go back to normal.” It’s all he’s got. He’s already weak. For all his bravado, if Pyre decided to attack him now, he’s not entirely sure of what sort of fight he’d be able to put up.

Pyre is implacable, his expression as blank and unmoving as a grey cliff face from which he seems to have been hewn. He looks to be completely immune to Astarion’s game.

The vampire tenses, preparing for a fight.

There’s a long moment of silence, and in it Astarion swears can hear every pulse of the stolen blood he does have coursing sluggishly through his corpse-cold body.

The mountain of a tiefling shifts. His gaze does not falter. But he nods, once. “Fine,” he rasps, and Astarion will never quite be over how strangely soft his voice is. “But not a drop more than you need.”

“Really?” He reels back, surprised, almost sure the man would either send him on his merry way to fumble through the underbrush until he stumbled across a sickly deer, or put him out of his misery then and there. “I-” He’s certainly not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, however. He smooths his expression, reigns in his untoward eagerness.“Of course. Not one drop more.”

And then they stare at each other, for a beat, then two. Astarion standing, Pyre sitting up, watching him, eyebrows slightly raised and the dim firelight flickering across the contours of his damnably blank face.

“I… Wouldn’t be easier if you…” Astarion purses his lips, eyes flicking up briefly and then back down again. He gestures awkwardly to the rumpled bedroll. “Had a bit of a lie-down?”

“You’re not touching my neck,” Pyre says simply. His gambeson’s high collar is very firmly buttoned. To be quite honest, Astarion’s not sure how he thought to get past it without either waking the tiefling trying to get it out of the way, or gnawing through a mouthful of wool. Before Astarion can ask what he’s meant to do, then, Pyre extends a hand. Without his gauntlets, it is as callused and scarred as one would imagine of a veteran swordsman. His nails are thick and black and look as if they have been filed down to utilitarian dullness from naturally sharp points. He turns his hand palm-up, unbuttoning the cuff of his sleeve and pushing it over the swell of his muscular forearm. There, a prominent vein snakes through the tough grey flesh, pulsing temptingly at the thin, vulnerable skin of his wrist. There are scars there, too, but older. Faded to a dull white. Neat lines in a row almost up to the elbow.

Astarion drops to his knees with a pout. “Alright, alright. Ruining my fun…”

“The blood is all the same,” Pyre says flatly, “Don’t complain about where it comes from.”

“Fine,” the vampire huffs, taking the proffered arm gently. As he draws the wrist in, saliva pooling in his mouth the closer that tantalizing vein comes to his teeth, he feels Pyre’s other hand at his shoulder. He freezes when it shifts, and strong, scarred fingers curl firmly around his throat.

His eyes flicker up to meet Pyre’s, staring at him with a coolness that belies their fiery hue. The fingers flex, but don’t squeeze.

“An assurance for me,” the tiefling rumbles, the grim line of his lips firm and implacable, jaw squared. “And a reminder for you.”

He’s not sure what he expected of his first time feeding from a thinking creature, but the reality is… more than he could have imagined.

It’s nothing short of rapturous.

There’s a squirmy weight of anticipation in his belly that sinks deep, and before he can make even more of a fool of himself, Astarion sinks his teeth into the tender skin, and a gush of dazzling heat floods his mouth. He almost moans at the taste. Almost. It feels almost too hot, like it’s going to leave his mouth feeling numb and tender, the skin peeling. And so rich. He drinks, and drinks, and drinks, wanting to lose himself in the taste, the heat of it, and never stop drinking until there’s nothing left, but he can feel the weight of Pyre’s hand around his throat every time he swallows, his thumb against his pulse, can feel yet more heat radiating from the man’s stout body, not touching his beyond the necessary points of contact, but still so close.

He takes another long, languorous pull, eyes rolling back, and when he swallows the hand on his throat squeezes hard, and he jerks away, blood rolling down his chin.

For a moment, he sits there gasping and dazed, staring wide-eyed up at Pyre, who has him by the neck. His own hand rises almost of its own accord, trembling, to his lips, fingers hungrily pushing the stray droplets of blood into his mouth, eyelids fluttering with bliss. He does moan then, and Pyre jerks his hand away, as if he’s the one who’s been burned. As if he’s the one with a burgeoning, blistering heat working its way from his belly to his extremities until his fingertips are tingling with it. 

Astarion licks his fingers shamelessly, and the scalding weight of those eyes doesn’t feel quite so stifling now that he’s full of warmth. “Apologies,” he pants around the finger in his mouth, “I was just… swept up in the moment. He stumbles to his feet, head light and floaty and bright with the fresh blood slowly working its way through his body, waking it up. “But it worked!. I feel good. Strong. Happy!” He offers a mocking little bow.

Once again, Pyre looks at him as if nothing untoward has occurred between them, even as he pulls a ragged scrap of fabric that might have once been a piece of an old shirt from his pocket and wads it up to press over the wound in his wrist. He doesn’t offer any response.

“I didn’t kill you, did I? That’s what matters.” Astarion happily chatters in his stead, rushing with newfound energy, feeling as if he could take on the world. A part of him (perhaps several parts of him) are struck by the urge that he could pounce on the tiefling now, and have a fairly good shot of taking him down. Astarion would be out a powerful ally, but oh, what a meal he’d be…

He shakes himself and beams, hands on his hips. “And look what you’ve gained! Together, we can take on the world!”

Finally, finally, Pyre cracks something that could almost be called a smile. Just a slight twist of the mouth, a touch wry, and he lowers his heavy lids a bit more. “I hope so,” he almost chuckles. “I look forward to seeing you fight.”

“Shouldn’t take long,” Astarion chirps, delighted. “So many people need killing.” He offers another stilted little half-bow. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, you’re invigorating, but I need something more… filling.”

And he turns on heel and struts out of the circle of the fire, off towards the woods. There’s a swagger in his step. He feels ready for anything. But he stops, and turns back slightly, the weight of those eyes fair burning a hole through his doublet. “This is a gift, you know,” he offers. “I won’t forget it.” And then off he goes, disappearing into the trees, and only when he is certain Pyre can no longer see him does he lean heavily against the trunk of a nearby tree until he can convince his damned knees to stop trembling. He raises a hand slowly, and brushes his fingers against his own throat, eyes closing and exhaling a shaky sigh.

[bullet-prooflove]

The Deal - Part Five: Different - Will Trent x Reader

Tagging: @yezzyyae @words-and-seeds @trublu2u @cassiopeiablogg-blog @kmc1989 @littleesilvia @oscarisaacispunk

TheDeal! Series:

Sunshine - You're attacked in your apartment.

Here (Drabble) - Will turns up at a crime scene to find you're the victim.

After Care - Will takes care of you in the aftermath of your attack.

It Doesn't Work Like That - Will comforts you in the aftermath of your father's death.

She's Gone - Will wakes up to find out you've left Atlanta.

In the weeks after you leave Will finds himself comparing your relationship to the one he had with Angie because she used to leave him too. He wonders if it’s a trend, if there’s something so fundamentally wrong with him that the women in his life can’t bring themselves to stick around. Those are the thoughts he has in the middle of the night as he stares at your pillow.

Angie would disappear for months at a time with absolutely no contact. Will would end up calling hospitals and morgues until she eventually turned back up, sometimes drunk, sometimes high and she’d ruin his life all over again.

You though, you’re different. You leave him voice notes every couple of days, letting him know you’re safe. He follows your journey in his head, ticking off the cities you’re teaching in one by one.

There are other disparities. He was with Angie for twenty years before he met you and she never expressed so much as an ember of warmth. When they fucked it was always about control, she would wring the pleasure out of him, use him up, spit him out. She convinced him that he was too broken, too scarred for anyone else so he took her scraps, lived on them for majority of his adult life.

When he meets you he isn’t used to the affection. It had been jarring at first, the light touch on his back as you were shifting past him, your hand squeezing his arm to get his attention, to you it’s the most natural thing in the world but to him, it’s a gift.

There’s always a fondness when you say his name, a slight drawl to your voice, with Angie it was always cold and clipped, like he was being reprimanded.

You haven’t abandoned him, he tries to remind himself as he sits on the couch with Betty in his lap. His palm brushes lightly over her fur as the TV drones on in the background, tuned into the Discovery channel.

You’d left because you needed space, not from him but from the city. The whole thing with your father had traumatised you, you’d felt trapped under the weight of it all, stifled, unable to breathe. Will’s experienced those feelings first hand, he understands the urge to run. He sighs as his head comes to rest on the back of the couch, slumping down even further. The rain patters against the windows outside as he hugs Betty even closer. The truth is, he isn’t sure if you’re coming back, if Atlanta is too tainted by the sins of your father.

He's surprised when he hears the knock on the door, you have your own key and he isn’t expecting company. His heart skips a beat because it takes him back to that night, the one where two officers of the APD had turned up on his doorstep and told him they’d found Angie in a run down hotel, needle in her arm, her skin cold to the touch.

He’s full of apprehension when he opens the door, the tension pulsing through his body as his palm grips the handle.

When he sees you standing there something in his chest just lifts, that anxiety flows out of him like exhale as you give him that sweet smile.

“Hi.” You say softly.

It occurs to him in that moment that the reason you haven’t used your key is because you’re trying to be respectful of his boundaries. It’s something else that Angie never would have done, she would have invaded his space, made herself at home, pretended nothing ever happened. It’s another stark contrast, you care about him, his wellbeing and it shows in every single one of your actions.

“Cam…” He whispers, holding open the door to let you in.

Your hair is damp from the rain outside. You’ve cut it a little shorter since he last saw you, it falls in loose waves past your jaw. His fingers trail through it before he tucks it back behind your ear.

“It suits you.” He tells you.

You close the door behind you and Will steps forward, helping you out of your raincoat. The heat of his body rolls over your chilled skin as his forehead comes to rest on yours.

There’s so much he wants to say but he’s too overwhelmed so he kisses you instead, his lips brushing over yours tenderly as he pours his entire heart and soul into it. He doesn’t remember undressing you, only the press of your bare skin against his as he makes love to you on the rug in the hall.

Every stroke, every thrust is dedicated to the pursuit of your pleasure. He chases your ecstasy, the sound of your hitched breathing ringing in his ears as he drives you to the pinnacle of release.

“Will,” You whisper at the height of it all, your voice emotional, overwrought. “I need to hear you say it, I need to know that nothing’s changed.”

“Oh sweetheart…” He drawls, his palm cupping your jaw as he guides your gaze back to his. “I could never stop loving you.”

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[astrovian]

Richard Armitage on playing Thorin Oakenshield for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Chronicles

The first meeting I had with Peter, Fran and Phillipa was the casting. I was given a scene to read that was actually a construct - it wasn't from the book. It was at this point that I became really excited by the idea, that the book was going to be the backbone of a much more fleshed out, well-rounded story. The scene they gave me to read was Thorin talking to Balin about who the Dwarves had once been, what they had become, why the Wizard had come to him with the map and the key, but that he didn't feel he had the strength to do this. In one scene, the writers had captured exactly what his character was all about - his dreams, his regrets, his insecurities, and his power.

Throughout the filming process, I was able to bounce my ideas around our forum. Often, ideas would spring from drafts of scenes being 'workshopped', or in progress. As we all grew to know and understand Thorin, the collaboration became easier. The way the character looked was very much in Peter, Fran and Philippa's hands; the way he moved, spoke, and delivered the ideas on the page were mine and Tolkien's. I was inspired very much by a particular pencil sketch of John Howe's, particularly the hands, eyes and nose. I felt they weren't dissimilar to my own. There was also a gentle, pensive attitude in the picture which I hadn't seen in Tolkien. It gave me a useful colour to paint with.

The most exciting part of collaboration though, isn't when one sits down to negotiate for ideas to make it into the script or film, but when they appear in the script at the very moment when they are desired. This happened a lot. This is when I felt we were all in tune. The lines never had to be learned. I suppose Peter, Fran and Philippa were hearing my voice when they wrote a scene - another great compliment - and when imagining that scene, I was in tune with the flavour of neo-classicism that I felt our writers were enjoying: the Dwarf kingdoms felt like the great Roman empires, and the literature and philosophical ideas were in line with Greek tragedy, at times Shakespearean. I felt that it was appropriate to allow myself to wander down that path, after all Thorin was heading for a kind of megalomaniacal insanity, which is a difficult thing to play without embracing that 'full throttle' style of art.

I always imagine chracters who are defined by their history. If it's not there than I will inevitably construct a detailed biography. For Thorin this was very easy as Tolkien had given so much material to us through various other sources in his literature, but I still needed to investigate a more domestic biography; 'What do Thorin and Dwalin "chew the fat about"?' or, 'What was Thorin's relationship with his sister Dís like?' I felt that might inform how Fili and Kili would feature in Thorin's life.

The difficulty with Thorin is that he enters the story on the edge of failure, but with everything to win. I remember thinking when I first read the scene for the casting, that here was a character who felt like a dying ember, yet with the energy and hope to reignite into the furnace that once powered this great warrior. But, he has all the potential to fail.

I connect personally with that last sentiment. I was never really sure if I could pull this role off; I felt secretly that many others also felt the same and it's one of the reasons I could never sit down on set (I am a pacer, apparently). I could never rest.

Thorin is the same . He hasn't slept easily in his bed since the Dragon expelled them from Erebor. Thorin's grandfather went mad and his father disappeared a year ago to the day when the Quest begins. The desire for revenge upon Smaug and also on Azog, who beheaded his grandfather, has been bequeathed to him. That's a huge burden to carry, and one that can't be shared.

The glory of returning his people to their homeland is also in the mix, along with the personal revenge on the slaughter of his family. Also, buried deep inside of Thorin is a dormant lust for gold, a lust inherited from the line of Durin, and just as the Dragon who will be woken when the King returns to the Mountain, so too that dormant illness inside of Thorin will awake. He knows this and he fears it.

So really, the 'engine' which brings Thorin to lead his fellow Dwarves to their destiny is fuelled by the past but is 'front wheel' driven, towards their future, their destiny, their prophecy. It's a great place to imagine a character because they are always in flux, pulled towards something, which they fear, springing from a rage-fuelled past.