#This Whole Thing Smacks of Gender

[theabigailthorn]

Bigshot Industry Guy: Sorry, I’m running late, can we push back our meeting until later?

Me: No, I have another appointment immediately after

Bigshot: Sorry, I’m with another client :(

Me: So tell him to fuck off?

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

Well—I’m actually in the waiting room now for my bilateral salpingectomy. Feels weird.

My brain’s been going overdrive the last few days trying to make sure I’m not going to regret it, but I’m like 99% sure that’s just a mix of completely reasonable nerves about surgery and my normal issues with indecisiveness and Wait No My Options because like…I’m a lot more concerned about the abstract idea of “what if I regret making this decision I can’t reverse” than I am about the actual concrete “what if I want to grow another person inside me later” that’s actually relevant to the specific situation at hand

Because. I still don’t want to do that. Realistically I can’t think of a situation in which I’d want to do that. I especially find it hard to believe that anything would genuinely override my years-long desire to not do that. Plus it’s…kind of a gender-affirming thing, in that I don’t really like having a pregnancy-capable body for reasons that are somewhat gender-related. and nerves might be…a little bit more at the forefront right now Because Surgery, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’ve wanted to do this for literal years.

[serizawasgamecube]

IT IS FINISHED. welcome to my nb transfem serizawa agenda. serirei, 13k words, rated e ( mind the tags!), not beta read bc its 3am and ive been working on this since like may and frankly i would just like to post it. please enjoy, to the best of your ability

[toolusingmammalgirl]

Thinking about the mirror image of Softboy Misogyny, where people get so into mocking its aesthetics that they’re indistinguishable from people mad about Beta Cuck Soyboys

[monsterpotion]

HER NAME IS MARIO MARIO

[the-seas-incarnadine]

do you ever think about how almost all of the sprite fused characters in homestuck are explicitly of mixed gender - dave and a female bird and nepeta, jade and bec, rose and jasper...

(with two very minor exceptions: erisolsprite, two boys who are miserable and hate their combined existence, and fefetasprite, two girls who are the most universally and emphatically beloved character in the story...)

and one major exception, Lord English, the all-male villain who rejected and killed his "girl half" and who is practically an avatar of toxic masculinity.

[llcooljadzia]

lmao i just had an interaction that i thought would be exemplary to post, with the names redacted. what a great example of how easy it is to be cool about it when a trans girl says she'd rather not be called dude rn , i was so polite about it, it was a friendly discord thats like half trans people. i even asked first as a formality, it was mostly me rambling on anyways, and again, all praise and named redacted. he apologized explained himself without being defensive and was like cool, noted. it was a non thing. he was literally being praised, 'no i'm not comfortable with that' lol i actually apologized at first, hey sorry didnt mean to make you the center of attention there it was just such a perfect example of how to be cool, i can be kind of intense i talk a lot and overthink everything no. he's just mad i corrected him "in public" instead of "hashing it out it" in a private conversation.

lol ok, seeya then. ps not sorry anymore lol god , they really don't like being corrected by women do they. it's my first time, ive had blessedly few dealings with cismen since i came out a couple years ago. ahahah wwow i'm not even hurt, that was pathetic. i was being nice, it wasn't an invitation to dump on me, bitch. manage your own pride lol. im a sweetiepie not a pushover.

i just don’t think “is dude gender neutral” is that productive of a conversation because a word can be gendered and still used regardless of gender. i call my male friends girlypop and my female friends man but i don’t think anybody would agree that those are somehow not gendered terms.

the real question is just “would you be willing to apologize and stop using a word if somebody told you it made them uncomfortable?” the answer to which in a surprising number of cases is no mostly because it seems like overall ppl r more upset abt getting accused of transphobia than they are abt being transphobic

[mino2aur]

why is chip so addicted to elderly crossdressing

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

Kinda wild how I consistently feel like 30% less insane every time I chop my hair from Bad Shaggy back to Good Short and yet I keep going “but do I actually have a Gender Thing though”

[toolusingmammalgirl]

I don't have any particular yearning to have been AFAB, because it would be God's exact sense of humor to make me trans all over again, but I do think I'd still nail that shit regardless

[beaniebee]

[clonerightsagenda]

I am going to get this out of my system and accept the premise the adaptation is handing me (I say, gritting my teeth) but I will not be 100% appeased unless the show adds a non-book-canon dramatic swoon for one of the boys too. It can be any of them I'm not picky. It's equality.

[bluebluebluewoods]

of snakes and cicadas and similar creatures

[escapeaddict]

I just want to look like men in a dress and women in a suit

[centralkvetchmonolith]

orevet says "#in all seriousness tho. how do you work aroun this with a nb partner"

In my experience (accidentally) ONLY dating/hooking up w trans ppl dfab: usually by defaulting to "boy". I'd throw in "girl" occasionally w more bigender partners, or default to it w partners dmab, but if neither of those work you can capture a lot of ground w "kitty" or "puppy" or mayyyybe "pet" (though something abt that one feels sometimes on the same level as "person" in the usage mentioned in notes).

The real answer is that "nonbinary" is a pretty broad identity that is predicated on negation (i.e. not in its entirety a binary gender), and so you have to tease out the position: does this partner identify more with one of the binary genders than not? Is there a Mystery through which they can lense this unnameable phenomenon, whence the animal monikers?

And of course the REAL real answer is that you always have to ask what terms of endearment/diminution make someone feel good|bad, during relationship & scene negotiations. Even some clearly gendered people will have problems with infantilization & reject "girl"/"boy".

you’ve been a bad they

[ervona]

I'm shockingly popular with sorcerous women...